#nightmare soldier

[digi-tama-in-your-pocket]

My companions for October. The photo doesn't do it justice, because the orange looks more yellow in the photo, but trust me, the shade of orange on my black DM20 is the exact same shade of plastic pumpkin bucket orange you'll see in your department store's Halloween aisle. It's seasonal as fuck, only way it could be more seasonal is if it had a custom background ( maybe next year? ) I just wish the DM20th had more options for spooky themed digimon to raise, really, it's just Skull Mammon.

Nightmare Soldier Z will also be my October device since it's also appropriate and looks the part. I guess my silver black Pen20 works since it has a Nightmare Soldier egg on it, it's just... man that shell is so boring.

[amarriageoftrueminds]

View on Twitter

Since it came up recently, link to that therapist on twitter 👆 who was discussing Bucky's terribile therapist in TFATWS and how they should’ve been. 

Transcript:

"As a therapist myself I've had a lot of feelings about Bucky's therapist on TFatWS, and have decided I need to rant a little to let it all out. I've worked w/active duty, trauma survivors, and court ordered clients, so here's some therapeutic conjecture on Bucky's therapy:

Aesthetically her office and presentation don't fit for someone who has been through the trauma that he’s been through. A client like this would need something non-threatening and safe- the whole vibe is overly formal and official in an office building, not at all therapeutic.

6 months working together she calls him Mr. Barnes and then James-he has identity issues and is struggling with who he is, so I think that one of the 1st things they would have done is figure out what he is comfortable being called, by whom and what that means for him.

He is still full out lying to her about pretty much everything including PTSD sx—I’m not saying clients never lie if they have good therapists, but if after 6 months he still doesn’t feel like he can be truthful at all then they haven’t built any trust/ solid therapeutic rapport

The pen and notebook thing-that’s clearly a trigger for him, there’s no reason to antagonize him and take notes in session like a punishment, it’s a power play on her part and it only emphasizes his lack of control in being forced into therapy (she should know his hx w/notebooks)

The whole little arm motion she made when she said “they need to make sure you don’t…” – that made so much light of what has happened to him, he probably feels like his arm is only good as a weapon and things like that will not help him accept it as part of his body

The rules, UGH the rules—from how they were talking about them clearly not something he actively created for himself, more like directives that he’s been ordered to adhere to—something fed to him and reinforced, feels like a way to sign off on liability only

THE AMENDS—this is probably my biggest issue. Amends are for people who need to take accountability for their actions and the repercussions of those choices. He had NO choice. He was a victim of horrific crimes against him, and framing it in a way that he needs to make up for

the crimes that others used him for is abhorrent. The lack of trauma informed care as astounding in the way it is being framed that he has to atone for sins that weren’t his. Its clearly reinforcing the idea in his head in ep 2 when he says “HYDRA were my people".

NO, HYDRA were your captors. They were not your people. That type of thinking needs to get deconstructed and challenged. He can dedicate himself to bringing good into the world and righting wrongs that happened WITHOUT taking on the responsibility of those actions.

Her whole attitude and demeanor were condescending and demeaning. I know some people have said “I love how she calls him out on his bullshit!” That’s not what I see happening. I call my clients out on their shit all the time—this was not that.

And I can only do that with clients ONCE we’ve built the type of relationship where it’s going to be therapeutic for them to hear it, and it’s done intentionally and with purpose. She just came off shaming and mean because they don’t seem to have any form of therapeutic rapport.

She said “you have no history, no family”- there is no therapeutic reason for that, and she’s wrong. He most likely has family alive (he used current tense when talking about his sister) and he was close to Shuri and TChalla, his history is vital to understanding him

When she said “Look, I know that you have been through a lot, but you’ve got your mind back. You are being pardoned. These are good things. You’re free.”—Yeah this feels really dismissive and like toxic positivity. “I know you’ve been through a lot BUT BE HAPPY!!??”

He certainly doesn’t seem to feel like he’s free (especially having therapy mandated), and you can’t just tell someone they’re free. I felt like she was pretty much just like, “shake it off, look to the future!” which feels really shitty when you’ve experienced excessive trauma.

HELLO breach of confidentiality, just introducing herself to Sam as his therapist and confirming it to Walker and the whole police station, it doesn’t matter if they know he’s in therapy you do not break someone’s privacy like that, he still deserves some control over his tx.

Ordering Sam into a session, NO, he’s not your client and you don’t know him well enough to know if that’s appropriate or if it would be harmful to either, and you haven’t asked your client for his consent to have another person in his session

Forcing a trauma victim who was stripped of his bodily autonomy for 70 years into a physically intimate exercise with a coworker that he’s barely interacted with in the last several months? NOPE, just reinforcing to Bucky she has control over him the way his handlers used to

To me, I think she is more focused on signing off on his psychological eval that he isn't a liability rather than any actual healing or attention to his trauma. This unfortunately isn’t unusual in the military where “mental health treatment” is focused on being mission ready.

They are making sure he’s ready to be an “asset” w/ mandated therapy, which he shouldn’t even be forced to do as part of his pardon because he shouldn’t have needed a pardon at all because he was a victim of horrific war crimes, brainwashing, and dehumanization for 70 years.

I’m just saying, if that was me he would be on my big squishy couch, bright open windows, bowl of Hershey kisses, random fidget toys, and two therapy dogs laying all over him while we work through that trauma and he builds back his identity and finds the calm he wants so badly.

And yes he would probably need someone who would see through his BS, call him out when he needs it, not be overly "touchy feely", but only if he feels safe and there is trust, where he gets to work on what HE wants, not what others think he needs.

Anyway thanks for coming to my TEDTalk, I❤️my work and I think being a therapist on retainer for the Avengers would've been a fucking trip, they all needed a team of mental health professionals at their disposal 24/7 and things would've been so much better🤣

ps. They can be a good therapist and just not be a fit for the client, that happens regularly. We know when to make it part of the conversation and when to refer out. Nothing good is going to come out of a contemptuous therapeutic relationship, mandated or not.

pps. That whole situation and the scene with Zemo was so rough. I can't imagine how much it brought back the violation, humiliation, anger, and helplessness of when he was the WS. I'm just imagining him having a therapist he trusts and being able to process that afterwards 😭😭😭"

[drawingroomanguish]

shoutout to tumblr for doing its level best to crunch these to hell

outfits from this lineup I did ages ago. This was supposed to be done ages ago but a bunch of work got in the way

[blueiscoool]

The 'Carnyx' Nightmare of the Roman Soldiers

The Carnyx was a brass musical instrument used as a psychological weapon of war by the ancient Celts between 300 BC and 200AD in western and central Europe and beyond.

The carnyx was once widespread throughout much of Europe, although only a dozen or so fragments are known to us.

It was carried by bands of Celtic mercenaries; it was present at the attack on the Greek sanctuary at Delphi in 279 BC; it defied Julius Caesar in Gaul; and it faced Claudius when he invaded Britain. They are even shown on a Buddhist sculpture in India, proof of the far-flung connections of the Iron Age world.

However, they were not only used by the Celts; they were also used by the Dacians in modern Romania. The term “Celtic” is a complicated one. The concept of a pan-European Celtic culture is a myth; rather, aspects of art and technology were shared across vast distances by diverse cultures. The carnyx was one example of this.

A 12-foot-long, thin bronze tube with right-angle bends on both ends made up the carnyx. The lower end ended in a mouthpiece, and the upper end flared out into a bell that was usually decorated to look like a wild boar’s had. Historians believe it had a tongue that flapped up and down, increasing the noise made by the instrument. The carnyx was played upright so that the boar’s head bell protruded well above the warriors’ heads. Its primary goal was to create more noise and confusion on the battlefield.

The Greek historian Polybius (206-126BC) was so impressed by the clamor of the Gallic army and the sound of the carnyx, he observed that “there were countless trumpeters and horn blowers and since the whole army was shouting its war cries at the same time there was such a confused sound that the noise seemed to come not only from the trumpeters and the soldiers but also from the countryside which was joining in the echo”.

And the Roman historian Diodorus Siculus wrote, “Their trumpets are also of a peculiar and barbaric kind which produce a harsh, reverberating sound suitable to the confusion of battle.”

Archaeologists discovered a hoard of ritually destroyed weapons in 2004, including a dozen swords, scabbards, spearheads, a shield, bronze helmets, an iron helmet shaped like a swan, a cauldron, animal remains, and seven carnyces. Before the Tintignac discovery, the remains of only five actual carnyces had been found.

The finest was unearthed in Deskford, Scotland in 1816. The Deskford carnyx only has the boar’s head bell and is missing the mane, tongue, and tubing. Images of Carnyx players have been found as well. A Roman denarius, dating from 48 BC bears a representation of a Carnyx. Three carnyx players are featured prominently on the Gundestrup Cauldron, which was found in a Danish peat bog.

One of the seven found at Tintignac, on the other hand, was almost entirely complete. The Tintignac Carnyx was broken into 40 pieces. When puzzled back together, it was found to be just an inch short of six feet long with a single missing section of the tube. The bell was a boar’s head with protruding tusks and large pointed ears. Once restored, the Tintignac Carnyx proved to be the first virtually complete carnyx ever found.

By Leman Altuntaş.

Music video by John Kenny.

[magikkittenz]

It had to be done

[crumb-crumblet-s-crumbington]

ethan desrved so much betterrr ususghhshshsdaaaa

[picodart]

[eastbluecrewed]

everything that is on fire can't be saved / everything that is saved can't be set on fire

aka i'm still fucked up over episode 1112 and the added scenes. is anyone else still here. i am. (quote from a poem by dalton day, below cut)

[thebearme]

decided to draw sum suff for my fem fortress sims game

[ancha-aus]

RealAgeAU Drabble - Hard Learned Lesson

Hello everyone!

*cough* so... you all ready for some... angst? ;3

Timeline wise this is in the spring of the first year the guys got the farm! So their first spring in FarmTale <3

First Drabble (Thank @spotaus for the one who started this madness with the original prompt) Prev Drabble Next Drabble

No beta or edits :3 We just going. Again. Angst incoming!

*--------------------*

Nightmare huffs as he looks bored at his stupid math work. He doesn't get it! The teacher jsut... doesn't explain it like when Dusty does. Dust knows how to tell him things that make sense!

Nightmare doesn't like this school he has to be in.

He doesn't like being away from his dads- caretakers- his four. He prefers to be with them and have them decide when it is time to learn and how.

Nightmare knows he can trust them. they are safe.

At least he doesn't have to be here for long... Just a day each week. And just until they figure out his school level or something.

The teacher smiles at him and speaks softly "Hey there night night."

Nightmare glares wiht all his might at her "Nightmare." his name is nightmare! Only his dads- his four are allowed to call him night night or nighty or nightlight!! That is their right! Not hers!

The teacher giggles and smiles at him "I am sorry. Nightmare. How is your math going?"

Nightmare frowns as he looks at the numbers and the drawings of apples. something about adding stuff together and taking a few away or something. He knows he used to be able to do this but how he did it he can't quite remember or figure out.

Ngihtamre shrugs and plays a bit iwht his pencil.

The teacher nods as she crouches next to him "Still hard?"

Nightmare shrugs and mutters softly "Dusty could explain..."

He doesn't like most adults who are here. Most of them imply that his four did stuff wrong or are doing wrong. Nightmare doesn't agree. They did everything right! THey came back so they can't do wrong. This lady is nice. she makes sure her voice is quiet and lets him stay inside when the other louder kids go play outside. She doesn't mind him reading his book instead of drawing.

the nice teacher smiles and nods "I am sure your dad is a great teacher. He seemed like the smart type."

Nightmare nods before catching up with what she said and freezing. He keeps messing up in his head and calling them dads... would that be weird? He doesn't want to be weird.

she smiles and takes a seat next to him "How about we try to do the problems together? We can try to work through them then?"

Nightmare shrugs again. Not really caring that much. He just needs to wait a bit longer and one of them will pick him up and they will go home and snuggle. Killer found a new movie to watch. Probably more cowboys! Nightmare likes them okay but loves to just lay wiht Killer when watching as Killer loves those a lot.

his teacher smiles at him and takes out a pencil. "OKay. the first problem. it is a bit of complex adding with the higher numbers but it works the same as the smaller numbers and-"

a loud knock on the door.

The door opens and one of the older ladies walks in. Nightmare doesn't like her. she is strict and always looks at his dads disapproving. As if they did smething wrong. She is also the one who says it is just a matter of time before Nightmare will like being here. Nightmare knows better and makes sure to tell the interview guy each time he wants to have classes with dusty again.

his nice teacher frowns as she looks up "Is something wrong miss March?"

The older lady huffs but speaks up "Someone came to pick him up. somekind of emergency."

Nightmare frowns and glances over. it are two humans who both look rather official. He immediantly leans behind the nice teacher and mutters "Dusty said to never go with others." One of the rules. Never ever leave this building unless it was with any of them. One of them is usually the whole day in the building with him.

The nice teacher looks unsure "March. I know for a fact those man are not part of the group that was allowed to pick him up."

March waves at one of the man and he shows an official looking document with somekind of symbol on it. Nightmare doesn't like this and inches clsoer to his teacher.

SHe reaches for the paper but the man pulls it away and tugs it away "It is sensitive information. It is a matter of great importance that we leave right this minute."

Ngihtmare doesn't like this. this is bad. These man are lying. he just knows it. Nightmare knows liars and he doesn't like them and these two are lying!

Nightmare looks at the nice lady "I don't want to go. I wanne wait for dad." he is scared. please.

The nice teacher smiles at him before looking at the other three adults "I am sorry. but he doesn't feel comfortable. I am sure we can just wait here for one of his fathers to show up. I will stay late with him to wait." she offers immediantly and Nightmare feels a bit better.

March glares at her "April! Stop that. These man are very important. They say it is an family emergency."

April! That was her name! April looks unsure between them and then Nightmare "I still think..."

MArch sighs loudly "You are a kindergarden teacher. You don't think." she smiles at the two man "I am so sorry for her. I will make sure to give her a talking to. You two make sure the little man gets to where he needs to go!" she grabs Arpil's arm and pulls her along.

April protests loudly "Wait! Miss March! I really don't think this is a good idea!"

Ngihtmare plans to follow her but one of the man gets in the way. he smiles andit doesn't feel good. it feels dangerous. He knows those type of faces. He used to see them daily. Ngihtmare feels his fight or flight response start to appear as he glances around.

The man speaks ina soft and quiet voice "Hey there. I know this is very scary but we have somewhere very important to be okay? We need to be quick. come now."

Nightmare shakes his skull as he glances around. Panic in his soul and magic. Where is Dusty? Or Crossy? Kills? 'Ror? where are his four? One is always near?

Unless these man knew... unless there are more people and some of them are distracting them!

THe man grabs his arm and pulls him along. Nightmare is once again reminded that he is weak. Weak and powerless and useless as he can't even defend himself!

The leave the building and a van is parked nearby. More panic as he is pushed in and the door clsoes.

--

Cross feels numb as he watches Killer tear the two ladies a new one "What the fuck you mean you let strangers take him!?"

Miss March, the personal assistant of the owner of this whole fucking thing looks insulted "Well! I will have you know that I tried to stop it but that April, the naive idiot girl, decided to trust strangers!"

Said girl, woman honestly even if she is still young sits on a chair in tears. She had been the one to call them in a panic. April looks up wiht a glare and read eyes from crying "I told you not to trust them! I told you not to let them take him but you pulled me away and when i got back to where he was before he wasn't there and and and-" she sobs as she hugs herself, she stares at them begging "I am sorry. I swear i tried! I tried to stay wiht him but Miss march she-"

March hisses at her "shut up you stupid dimwit!"

Killer is seething as he glares at March "Where. is. our. child!?"

MArch stammers and tries to explain that some man came in about some emergency. Killer growls "so instead of verifying that they were speaking the truth you just trust the first person to walk in and way a piece of paper around?"

Cross stares at April. he still can't feel anything. just dread. He walks to her side and stares at her "What did they look like?"

April blinks as she looks at Cross with tears in her eyes. Cross just doesn't care. He needs to find him. Now. a glance shows that Horror and Dsut are talking with police man. Dust is beside himself and keeps trying to pull his hood further over his skull. clearly nearing an actual breakdown.

Cross can fix this. He just needs to get Nightmare back.

April sobs as she rubs her eyes. She thinks for a moment before giving an as detailed description as possible.

Arpil frowns as she pauses "there... there was this symbol on the paper. Wait. let me draw it." she opens her folder and grabs a bright blue glitter pen and starts drawing it. Cross knows a police officer joined him and is taking notes himself.

She shows the symbol "It looks likes this. Some werid snake around a sword. It looked a bit like the medical symbol and stuff but it doesn't quite like it." she frowns.

The police man frowns and starts to talk about this gang named the Viper and how they kidnap children. often political reasons.

Cross however already checked out as he starts thinking. the speed limit is about 30 kilometres an hour in these type of areas. This happened not longer than 20 minutes ago.

If they were pushing their luck and driving hard they couldn't have driven harder than 50 an hour. which means they are at this point about at maximum about 15 to 20 kilometres away.

If they are already known with the police? They won't risk being out long. They know when Cross and the others would be away because they were held up getting food and snacks. Meaning it was planned. Meaning they knew that they would immediantly get the news out.

Cross hums and glances towards the door. They are hiding somewhere nearby. They can't risk being in a car and being searched. This universe has cops that actually care and want to help people. If they are already on their shitlist?

a circle of 25 kilometres. That is what Cross thinks they should be within for now until they will feel brave to search for a spot to... to... do whatever they had planned for Nightmare.

Cross slowly backs away from the othrs. He mutters to Horror that he is going to catch some air. Horror shoots him a worried look but Dust is actively shaking and tears are leaving his sockets so Horror is quick to try and calm him.

Cross feels the air grow more and more static. he steps out of the building and glances up. Very dark clouds, black and purple and some flashes of lightning.

Cross looks around the area around the building. police cars are everywhere but none of them notice Cross. Cross looks at his own arm and can only see himself because he knows what to look for. a slight difference in depth compared to the area around him. His camouflage his active.

Good.

He will need that.

He glances around againa nd finds the cops looking at tire tracks. he gets near and studies them.

He hates what his universe made him. He hates what XGaster has made him. BUt... Cross can admit... It has its benefits. He memorises the pattern of the track in the dirt and considers how deep the track is. Yeah. Somekind of van. A small one but heavy. So probably a two seater and the loading area in the back. Most likely no windows or Nightmare could have waved to get someones attention.

Cross has an area. And a general idea on what to look for.

Time. To. Hunt.

---

Something smashes into pieces and Nightmare shakes as he keeps hiding his skull wiht his arms. Not able to ban out the voices.

"What do you mean you don't know who to contact?!"

another shouting voice "It means I don't know! We have had no one react to our messages and codes about him! Our hackers didn't find anything on those four! No schooling. No past lives. No past adresses. Nothing!"

the first voice "Of course not! One of them was tugged away from eye sight to even get that child! Find out who he was with and we know who will pay raw gold to get that little freak back!"

Ngihtmare shivers at that word. He isn't a freak... he isn't... Crossy always says he is special and perfect. that means he isn't a freak.

another voice "What if this was all a waste?"

the first voice "Then we find some other weird fucker that wants a monster child. There is always some sick fuck that likes toys like that."

Ngihtamre is shaking. he wants his dads. He wants to cuddle with his dad and eat food with his dad and watch tv and...

He sobs.

A loud groan "And of course that stupid thing is a whining crybaby and it won't shut up!"

a new voice. much more worried "euh... guys? Remember those clouds i was talking about?"

more groans and the tired voice of before answers "Dude. not now. we are having a crisis here."

THe newest guy continues "No you don't get it... the clouds? Those are completely black... there is no sunlight coming through."

silence before rushing steps and more curses and awed noises.

a moment of silence for another person speaks up "The radios are out...so is the phone service and well... any service..."

A flash and immediatnly loud thunder. Nightmare isn't afraid however... as that was Dusty's storm. He can feel it. the familiar static and magic that circles and seems to hug him. If Dusty's storm has already found him... That must mean Dust is close right? Or that dust now knows his location right?

Nightmare isn't sure how they are getting more powers. but they are so cool...

more sounds of annoyance and grumbles as the humans all take seats. grumbles about how they can't keep looking for a buyer now and that they will be forced to wait or risk being seen.

Nightmare looks around his small cage. he is stuck in somekind of animal cage in a dark room without any window. but he still feels and hears the lightning and thunder. he knows the flashes happen as he feels his own magic notice them. the immediant thunder after it.

They are right in the middle with the lightning right above them.

another crack and flash and suddenly loud shouts as the light under the door turns off. Seems like everything is broken now.

Loud annoyances and grumbles as they wlak around. shouting at each other. Nightmare rolls back up and waits.

He just... he just has to have faith! They found him once... surely they can find him again right? Surely... they want him still right?

right?

---

Cross runs through the forest. letting the static in the air guide him as he follows the tracks. Cross isnt'sure if the storm is leading him or if he is leading the storm at this point.

It doesn't matter.

The effect is the same.

Dust's storm and him move togehter. the lightning and static move in unison with Cross as he rushes through the forest. Everything grows quiet and still around him as he moves. unseen and more one with the world around him than seperate at this point.

It doesn't matter.

Because he found it.

He spots the van first and sees the house it is parked by after. He watches for a moment and the bright purple magic flashes quickly and loudly. flash after flash after flash.

It should be bothersome to him.

It isn't.

Cross moves silently as he reaches the van first. he pulls the door open with one harsh tug and takes the actual backdoor with the tug. he drops it to the ground and looks into the van. Nobody but there are small marks of someone having clawed as the floor.

Cross moves silently and smoothly into the van and studies the marks. He knows those marks. Nightmare tends to try and push Killer away and if they don't help him clip his claws before they get too long Nightmare tends to accidentally scratch Killer.

The scratches are never deep and never take longer than a few minutes to heal. Nightmare still feels bad about it even if Killer doesnt even feel it.

Cross follows the marks with one of his own fingers. He was right.

Cross leaves the van just as quietly as he entered it and walks towards the door. Not marching. More like gliding. Silent. Smooth. Quickly.

He gets to the door and pusehs his knife in between the side and the door. One quick push and the lock breaks and the door swings open. THe hallway is dark.

He hears movement deeper in the building.

Cross moves silent as a shadow. leaving no trail or tracks in his wake.

he moves through the hall and leaves the door open. purple flashes behind him and Cross can't help but notice that his shadow looks weird. almost as if his shadow itself is melting into the other shadows and stuff... weird...

He follows the hall and gets to the living room. He just pushes the door open and sees about seven humans all looking around trying to locate stuff wiht flashlights. one of the flashlights shines over him and the human screams bloody murder. the others turn and scream and yell themselves. something about a demon.

Cross doesn't care. He is here for two reasons. one. get his baby back. two? Make sure these sorry excuses never get the chance to take their baby away ever again.

Cross stares before rushing one of the humans. he has them by the head and throws them into the wall. the wall cracks and the human drops motionless to the floor. Cross slowly turns to the others.

The raise their weapons but Cros has already jumped another. He pushes the human to the floor and grabs them by the head. he smashes the head against the floor once and hears the tiles break just as the skull caves in on itself and the human goes motionless instantly.

Cross rises back to his full length.

One of the humans shakes as they raise their weapon "fuck... fuck!" and starts firing.

Cross doens't know why he doesn't move. Maybe it is... because he kidna knew. the bullets seem to all, just move through him. as if he isn't all the way there yet is. untouchable until cross wants to touch something.

more panicked cursing as Cross holds out an arm. and his own weapon materialises. he goes for his one large sword and gets to work.

It isn't even a fight.

Cross would think calling this a fight would be an insult to actual fights he had.

play fights and spars with killer are more challenging.

Having a verbal debate with Killer is more challenging! and Killer hardly even gives arguments!

Cross dematerialises his sword and stalks around the house. He doens't hear anymore movement of people walking around.

a soft sob.

Cross is by the storage closet in seconds and pulls the door open.

Cross wants to thank his lucky stars he has night vision because he doesn't even need a flash of lightning to see their baby. Cross is on his knees by the cage in seconds as he pushes a hand through the bars and rubs the tiny cheeks to clean the tears. only for fresh tears to appear and Nightmare to grab his hands.

Nightmare sobs "dad... I was scared."

Cross mutters soft praises and reassurances all at once as he just sits by his baby "it is okay nighty. I am here. I am not going anywhere okay? We will just wait here. Your other dads are on their way okay? we will go home and lay in the nest and read stories. You have been so brave and I am so sorry you had to wait for so long." More tears keep appearing and Cross keeps rubbing them away gently.

Cross will stay right there for as long as they need.

flashing police lights and Cross feels himself growl when his phone buzzes. He opens the chat and sees a message from Killer.

'horror texted me to say he sees a broken open car and the police are nervous. Make sure the police can break nightmare out. Stay near but invisible. I know it sucks but please!!'

Cross doesn't like it but he can already feel himself start to disappear from view. He whispers to Nightmare "I am staying right here with you okay? Some people will walk in and they are police man. They will bring you to Dusty and Horror okay?"

Nightmare sniffs and sobs as he looks desperate at Cross. Seemingly not at all bothered by Cross using his weird invisibility. Nightmare keeps staring at him and sniffs "promise? You won't leave?"

Cross smiles and rubs the tiny cheek "I will stay right here with you. Forever." like fuck anyone is going to get any of them to leave their baby. He is theirs and no one elses. Everyone can gets lost and disappear for all Cross cares. He has what he needs with his new family.

Nightmare nods and sits their shaking. his tiny hands not letting go of Cross's hand and Cross keeps holding both tiny hands wiht one of his as he rubs the tiny cheek with his other. The discomfort of how he needs to wiggle his way through the bars not even fully registering as he waits.

Loud shouts of police and slow steps. dead silence as they find the slaughter that Cross left behind. more rushed steps and a panicked voice "Kid?! Kid please be okay! Yell out! We are here to help! please we are worried and your dads are worried too!"

Nightmare sobs and looks at the door. He can't seem to find words and just whines. The sound feels like a shot right through Cross's soul as he keeps holding the tiny hands.

Rushed steps and someone with lights and red and blue reflectives steps in. The officer sighs in relieve "oh thank the heavens you are okay." he takes a step closer but Nightmare obviously flinches and tugs himself in a corner. more sobs and shaking leaves him.

Nightmare mutters sound so loud in the silent room "want dad... dad... where is dad?" more sobbing and his breathing comes out in short pants. slight panic starts to appear on his face.

The officer takes out his walkie talkie "Get one of those skeletons in here..." a moment of silence "I don't care! Lead them in then to make sure they don't touch anything! This child just went through actual hell and deserves someone he can trust." after which he raises both hands. making it clear he isn't hiding anything.

It doesn't help as Ngihtmare keeps breathing quicker and more whines. Cross tries to reassure him but it only helps so much. Cross has no doubt the cage isn't helping either but that would mean that cross would have to open the cage and the other would see that and Cross doubts even Killer can lie their way out fo that one and-

Running steps and a moment later Dust pushes past the officer. He stands frozen before he throws himself at the cage and just rips it open. He has Ngihtmare in his arms wihtin seconds and just. stays rolled up on the floor. shaking.

Cross sees the Nightmare immediantly starts breathing easier as he pushes clsoe to dust. more sobs "dad... .dad... i was scared"

Dust mutters soft apologises and love messages to Nightmare. How he is sorry he wasn't there. and that he swears he will be better and that he and the others all love him so much and that they were terrified and that they won't let anyone hurt him and how much they love him.

Cross just hugs the two for a moment. using his invisibility to give them some comfort. Dust leans into the touch and mutters a thanks for saving him.

the police officer reassurace him it is just their job but Cross knows Dust had aimed it at him.

It makes him feel warm inside. knowing he did soemthing to save their baby. to protect his family. warm and loved.

Cross follows Dust and the police officer out as Dust staggers outside. Still hugging Nightmare close and clearly trying to hide him from the world.

Once outside Horror steps over and easily lifts Dust and Nightmare. Hiding both in his arms as he mutters his own apologises to Nightmare and how scared they had been.

Cross can't help but notice that the sky is no longer thundering and while still cloudy and dark all the lightning had disappeared.

Cross then feels his phone buzz again and he checks the message. it is killer. sending him a message that as soon as he can he needs to reunite with him in the police car he is riding with. Make sure to be sneaky.

Cross watches his two mates not mates mates friends fush over nightmare as the police people get to work.

Cross leaves the scene of the crime and follows the road to reunite wiht killer.

He sees a few other cop cars making their way over to the location and eaisly enough spots Killer in one. Killer stares outside and Cross manages to land silently on the car roof.

As Killer ordered Cross manages to wiggle his way into the moving cop car. Killer nudges him in the side and Cross feels his camouflage finally disappear, as it disappears he feels the exhaustian start to creep up.

Killer grins at the humans in front "Again thank you for giving us both a ride!"

The police man blinks confused but as he looks up he stares at both Cross and killer. Killer keeps smiling and the police man ends up nodding "Well... of course! Heavens knows that I would be beside myself if I lost my little girl. My daughter is my whole world and if anything happened to her..." he shakes his head "of course we would all try to reunite you four with your boy as soon as possible!"

Killer continues talking to the human. Cross zones out as he suddenly feels so very tired...

For now? None of it matters to Cross. Let Killer figure out how to manipulate and lie to the humans.

Cross feels tired and just wants to see their mate with thier child. Safely reunite with their other mate.

Nothing else matters right now.

Cross still remains vigilant. He can rest later... Once they are home again. Once they are all safe again.

*--------------------*

First Drabble Prev Drabble Next Drabble

[kazz-brekker]

so as far as i can tell re: house blackwood in the show, the blackwood boy who kills someone during rhaenyra's tour is samwell blackwood, who has become lord of the house by season 2. the blackwood involved in the posturing with brackens in episode 3 is called davos according to the subtitles, not benjicot. samwell blackwood is killed during the battle of the burning mill, and possibly so is davos…which DOES open up the possibility of bloody ben (samwell's son) and black aly (samwell's sister) being introduced as having to take over the blackwoods in the aftermath of the battle. we can but hope!

[quotidianish]

Bit of an art dump now that I’m up and kicking for the week- and if I’m lucky, the next two months! Yippee!!

[microwavdhamstr]

bucky’s nightmares 🤝 reader’s insomnia

bucky barnes x f!reader

you can never fall asleep, he can never stay asleep

description: f!reader is up late every night with her insomnia and helps bucky through a really bad nightmare.

warnings: nightmare, insomnia, bucky is traumatized, nicknames (hun/honey, darling, doll), idk let me know what i missed

notes: first fic on here and first time writing one in a very long time. also this is not a self insert at all idk what you’re talking about you sound crazy.

wc- 2.1k

it’s been a few months since bucky finally left wakanda and moved onto the compound. you haven’t spoken much, however you couldn’t deny you were attracted to the ex assassin.

living in the room beside his was a wild card. between your insomnia and nosy nature you overheard most of his nightmares. you could never gathering the courage to open your door, afraid of bothering him, but that didn’t stop the need that grew in your stomach. the need to help. to hold. to heal. to love.

————————————————

tonight your insomnia was, like always, keeping you awake longer than you could bear. working in tandem with your anxiety to not only keep you up, but keep you on edge as well. every now and again you’d swear you heard or saw something lurking in the shadows of your bedroom. an occurrence you haven’t had since before bucky moved in. your solution was to slip into the common room with your laptop, turn all the lights on, and cuddle up on the couch with your favorite blanket. sleep wasn’t the goal at that point, it never was, but you needed to get the images out of your head. the images you created on your own that unnerved you to your core.

from your self-made cocoon on the couch, you hear the routine shouts from the one and only sergeant barnes. you pause your show as to not disturb the man, hoping he would lull himself back to sleep without interruption. little to your knowledge, he never just went back to sleep. every night, without fail, he’d make his way to the kitchen for a drink. he’d sit at the table for hours before returning to his room. and, to him, tonight was just like every other.

you hear the door open and shut, his sharp and unsteady breaths slowly moving closer. every light near you is on, and as much as you wanted to go unnoticed, you can’t turn them off. you know what waits for you in the darkness. there was no avoiding whatever might happen next.

he quickly comes into view and he looks awful. his eyes are glued to the floor, his hair is damp and stuck to his forehead, he is slightly pale and clammy, you could see him trembling in fear of himself. it’s wasn’t until this moment that you truly realized how similar the two of you are. both tormented by your own minds on a daily basis, both depriving yourselves of rest against you own will, both being held captive in your own heads.

it doesn’t take him long to notice the lights, glancing around until he found the culprit. the girl on the couch buried under a think blanket. the girl who rarely left her room if she didn’t need to. the girl who kept to herself as much as possible. the girl he couldn’t quite profile no matter how hard he tried.

he freezes when he sees you. and you, well you look like a deer in headlights. he holds eye contact for a few seconds before continuing to the kitchen. you continue to sit in silence, frozen still, now holding your breath for some reason. he acts as if it was no big deal. as if you aren’t even there. but you can’t seem to move.

you hear him pour a glass of water and pull out a chair to sit on. you feel his eyes on your back. there’s no reason for you to feel scared and you’re certainly not scared of him. more like you’re scared of bothering him. you don’t want to interfere with his nightly routine. you don’t want to upset him.

“you gonna breathe anytime soon?” you forgot to account for his enhanced hearing. turning towards him, you take a slow breath and give him a nod.

“sorry, i uh-i don’t mean to intrude. i can go back to my room if you want.”

“not intruding, doll, you live here too.” his voice is soft, yet a little rough.

you sit up, moving your laptop and blanket off of your lap, giving him your attention.

“what are you doing up, anyway?”

“can’t sleep,” you shrug, “never can.” he doesn’t respond.

the silence settles for a moment before it bothers you.

“another nightmare?” you question as if you don’t already know the answer. he gives you a stiff nod anyway. “you wanna talk about it?”

“can’t,” he stands up and places his empty cup in the sink, “never can.” and he retreats to his bedroom.

————————————————

the next few weeks are similar. your nights have been getting worse, hallucinations beginning to form in the darkness of your room until you can’t stand being in there at all. bucky’s nights have been just as consistent as always. there was more conversation as time went on and the two of you were becoming comfortable with this new arrangement.

you take your spot on the couch and play family guy on your laptop until you hear his telltale shout, pausing the show and waiting for him to join you.

but he doesn’t. he keeps screaming. you can hear his cries. his pleads. his pain. you hurry into his room to find him shaking, begging for his torment to end. he hasn’t woken up yet, you start to think he isn’t going to, not on his own.

instinct takes over as you rush to his side, cupping his face in one hand and grabbing his flesh hand with your other.

“no, no, please. stop. stop! don’t! please don’t! no more, no more! please, i’m sorry!” his voice begins to quiet but you can still see the terror in his face, feel the tension in his hand.

“bucky? bucky, hun, wake up! it’s just a dream, you’re not there! you gotta open your eyes and come back to me, buck, it’s not real,” you ramble in his ear, stroking his cheek and squeezing his hand.

he shoots up with a large inhale, getting air in his lungs before processing your presence. but once he felt you he scrambled away, needing to distance himself from you. needing to protect you from him.

“hey, hey, it’s alright. it’s just me. it wasn’t real. you’re not there, you’re right here,” you moved closer to him, taking his flesh hand in yours once again, “you’re okay. just focus on your breathing, okay? you’re alright, you’re safe.”

he takes a moment to settle his breaths before speaking up.

“out.”

“what?”

“get out. don’t wanna hurt you,” his panting now slow but heavy.

“you’re not gonna hurt me.” you squeeze his hand slightly for reassurance. “you’re not there, you’re not him, and you’re not gonna hurt me.” your thumb massaged the back of his hand.

“you don’t know that.” you l hear the sadness in his voice. the worry and fear. you trust him completely, but he won’t trust himself. he can’t. he knows the winter soldier is gone but he still can’t find it in himself to actually believe it.

you pull him toward you softly, feeling him tense in your grip.

“it’s okay, jamie, just relax,” he doesn’t, “you’re in your room, in your bed, you’re safe here, you didn’t hurt anyone and you’re not going to. i am right here with you and i’m not going anywhere. just lay back down,” he does, “i’m gonna get you some water, okay? i’ll be right back.” he nods, lungs still heavy.

you do just as you said, racing to the kitchen and grabbing a cold bottle from the fridge. returning to find him laying still.

“here, hun, sit up.” he didn’t realize it, but the nicknames you occasionally throw in help him relax. they make him feel safe. he wonders if that’s how you feel when he does it.

he follows your command and sits up to drink the water, chugging half the bottle before taking another large inhale. you rub circles on his back to help ground him some more, letting him take all the time he needs.

once empty, you take the water and place it on his nightstand, while doing so you hear him sniffle.

is he… crying?

“let it out, it’s alright. you’re safe here.” you wrap your arms around his shoulders and pull his head into your neck, rubbing his back once more. he doesn’t fight back this time, instead he simply lets you guide his body into yours. and, for the first time since wakanda, he lets himself cry.

you continue to hold him, murmuring “it’s okay” and “you’re safe” over and over in his ear. giving him every ounce of comfort you could find within you.

after what felt like an eternity to him, he finally calms himself down. you feel his arms wrap around your torso, keeping his head on your neck, pulling you into his lap as close as possible, tightening his grip on you as if you’d vanish the moment he let go.

“you okay now, darling?” he nods softly into your shoulder, “do you wanna lay back down?” he nods again.

you attempt to get up and reposition the two of you, but the second you loosen your grip he tightens his. instead he just lays both of you back, pulling you on top of him, not once letting go of you. you don’t really care as long as he is comfortable and content. your hands find their way to his hair and you massage your fingers into his scalp.

“jamie, hun?” you mumble into his ear. he lets out a soft “hmm” in response. “if you ever wanna tell me about your nightmares, you can,” you felt him begin to tense up again, “you don’t have to, but i know they’re scary. and this was the worst you’ve had since you got here. maybe talking about them will help them go away.” he still hasn’t told you about any of them but you have ears. he’s never screamed like that before. never cried that hard. never pleaded that desperately.

there is a thick pause before he responds, you can almost hear the gears turning in his head. he pulls his head from the crook of your neck and moves you to his right side.

“it was after i met steve again,” he started, “i remembered him. they didn’t like that i remembered him. they ke-kept trying to ‘reset’ me but i-i just kept remembering him. they wouldn’t stop trying. in two weeks i was in and out of cryo m-maybe thirty times and every time i came out they-they-” his breath falters and you can see the tears swelling in his eyes.

“it’s okay, you don’t have to say it honey, i know.” your soothing voice pulls him back down. reminds him where he is. you reach for his metal hand, the one he was conveniently trying to keep you away from, and when you find it he pulls back.

“w-what are you doing?”

“it’s okay, buck. gimme your hand.” he hesitates but eventually complies. you trace the metal fingertips slowly, taking your time with each knuckle. you bring it closer to you, planting a soft kiss on the back of the chilled prosthetic hand. “have you talked to steve about your nightmares?”

“no, i-i… i can’t.” the defeat in his tone breaks your heart.

“why’s that hun?”

“he’s already done enough for me. he doesn’t need to see the ugly parts anymore, he doesn’t deserve it.”

“and you do?” the delicacy behind your words proves to him how much you truly care.

for a moment there is nothing. no sound, no movement. no tension either. it’s comforting.

“doll, why are you being so nice to me?”

“because i care,” you respond without skipping a beat, “because you’ve been through so much and you never deserved any of it. because you’re still being tormented by the awful things those people did to you. because you aren’t being nice enough to yourself. because i love you. bec-”

“don’t say that,” he cuts you off.

“why not?”

“you’re only saying it to make me feel better, you don’t mean it.”

“of course i’m saying it to make you feel better, why should that mean it isn’t true?” your hand makes its way back to his cheek, “why don’t we just go to sleep and talk about this in the morning, hmm?”

“thought you never sleep.” his voice sounds lighter than before. you giggle at his comment.

“then you sleep and i’ll just hold you. that sound better?” he gives a small smile.

“whatever you say, doll,” he takes your hand from his face and holds it to his chest, “for the record, i think i love you too.”

you smile and nuzzle further into him, “goodnight buck.”

[numberonechesnaughtfan]

Tf2 and little nightmares 2 my 2 favorite games

[monurey]

Rewatching F1 races & interviews from the early 2010’s and I gotta say,,,, they don’t make twinks like this anymore 😔

[adhara-the-star]

I've been using Ao3 for four years now

I've been of the fortunate few that has never actively lived through a server maintenance or fail of any sort (mainly bc I live in the southern emisphere and by the time the site chrashes or smt im either asleep or working).

I'd heard the rumors... I'd read the maintenance notifications with fear, but up til now, I'd never lived through it...

It's a nightmare