#no cause the fact that ive never written fanfiction before | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

hermannsthumb · 4 years

Note

90+96?

90. Unexpected Virgin + 96. Scars

from fanfiction trope mashup here

continuation of me filling ancient, 2 year old prompts in my inbox! sometimes you just gotta return to the basics and write post-movie first time :’) this is the first thing ive written on my new laptop, MOMENTOUS OCCASION. as u might have guessed 18+/NOT SFW BELOW CUT

—————

They’re about an hour into the impromptu We Didn’t Die! party currently ravaging the base when Hermann–stripped out of his sweatervest, and clutching his cane like a lifeline–suddenly grips Newt by the forearm and swings him around to face him. “Newton,” he declares, as the contents of Newt’s plastic cup slosh to the floor, “I would like to invite you back to my quarters.”

It’s probably due to the two shots of vodka Newt downed in quick succession about twenty minutes into the impromptu party that the innuendo flies right over his head, and, instead of accepting enthusiastically, he merely draws his face into a pout. It’s not unusual for Hermann to force him to go to bed, especially after a week of all-nighters in the lab, but now? During this? They’re practically guests of fucking honor. “To sleep? Lame. I’m not tired. Hey, unwind, have a drink!” He pushes his plastic cup into Hermann’s face.

Hermann pushes it away. “I believe you misunderstood me,” he says. “I’m asking you to have sex with me, Newton.”

“Oh,” Newt says.

They’re out of LOCCENT in a flash, and bursting through the door of Hermann’s cramped quarters in another. Newt has been fucking vibrating with energy all day long–excitement, elation, fear, straight-up terror–and he’s more than ready to unleash all twelve hours’ worth of it, plus twelve years’ worth of pathetic pining, on Hermann in the most awesome, cathartic victory sex the world has ever seen. And now that they’re finally alone–now that they’re finally alone together–

“I am so fucking horny right now,” Newt breathes. He kicks off his boots: one of them flies across the room and knocks over a precariously-balanced stack of books, while the other smacks against Hermann’s dresser and sends a photograph of Newt and Hermann crashing to the floor. “Holy shit, you have no clue. Oh my God.” Truthfully, he’s been sporting a half-boner since he threw his arm around Hermann in LOCCENT, and Hermann gave him that little smile and tucked up against him, but Hermann doesn’t need to know that.

Hermann’s eyes are dark, and his pupils are wide. He wets his lips as those eyes sweep over Newt. “I. Ah. I am, as well.”

“Fuck yes,” Newt says. He moves his hands to his collar, where he rips off his tie, but he stops at his buttons with a grin. He could at least pretend to play hard to get. “Hey, you want me to take my shirt off?”

“That’s typically what’s done, isn’t it?” Hermann says. “During–” He clears his throat. “During these sorts of things?”

“Right,” Newt says. “Okay, do yours too.”

They take their shirts off. Hermann is sporting a nice set of shoulders and biceps, and an even nicer set of pecs, and Newt thinks that trim waist would be the perfect size to wrap his fingers around, but his too-pale skin hugs his ribs a little too-tightly. There’s not a hint of hair in sight. The exact opposite of Newt, basically, in all his hairy, tattooed, out of shape glory. It’s kind of perfect. Newt bets they’d fit together like a pair of puzzle pieces.

He wolf-whistles before he can help himself. “I should’ve known you’d be even hotter under all those stupid sweaters.”

“Oh,” Hermann says. His mouth twitches up into a coy echo of his earlier smile. “Thank you. I think.”

Newt wants to get all over that hot bod, and so he does, inching up to Hermann until their stomachs brush and their chins bump, and planting his hands on either side of that neat, sexy waist. He’s right about it being the perfect size to grab. Hermann watches him through his dark lower lashes, standing perfectly still; he’s holding his breath. “I’m gonna kiss you now,” Newt says.

Hermann nods.

They kiss. It’s pretty cool, even if Hermann stands as stiff as a board, arms hanging limply at his sides, and even if when he finally decides to use tongue it’s at the moment Newt decides to use teeth and he ends up firmly biting down on it. “Ow,” Hermann hisses, pulling back sharply.

“Sorry,” Newt says. “I haven’t gotten laid in ages. I kinda forget how to, uh...” He tries to kiss Hermann again, but at Hermann’s darkening, skeptical expression, drops it. “Uh, you wanna take this to the bed?”

“Take off your jeans first,” Hermann says.

They stare at each other.

“Not–I mean yes, but–what I mean is they’re filthy,” Hermann snaps. “I’m not having you dirty up my sheets. Grime and blood and who on Earth knows what else.”

“Sure,” Newt says, and grins again. He fumbles with his belt and drops his jeans, and Hermann’s gaze drops too. Never one to pass up putting on a show, Newt tips his crotch forward to make his boner just that bit more prominent, and just that bit more in Hermann’s personal space. “Like what you’re seeing?”

Hermann nods.

Newt takes Hermann’s right hand and places it on his hip, just the waistband of his boxers. “You wanna take these off?” he says. He punctuates the question with a little kiss to Hermann’s throat. It’s so smooth–not at all like the scratchy, stubbly mess across Newt’s. He kisses it again, just ‘cause it’s nice, and feels more than hears the low rumble of a groan that rises in the back of it. Hermann’s shut his eyes.

“Ah–Newton–”

When it becomes clear Hermann won’t be sticking his hands down Newt’s boxers any time soon, Newt backs him up to his bed and pushes him down into it. Hermann sprawls backwards with a small thump. His cane clatters to the floor. “You gotta do some of the work here, dude,” Newt laughs.

To his surprise, Hermann flushes. “I’m sorry,” he says, “I haven’t much. Er. Experience, with this sort of thing. I’m not quite sure what to do.”

This comes as no small surprise to Newt. Hermann’s just…Hermann, y’know? He’s bitchy, and weird, and kind of weird-looking, but he has a sexy way of rolling his r’s and a sexy mouth and, apparently, a sexy bod, and if Newt–the guy’s certifiable rival–has wanted to get into his pants for ages, he’s sure he can’t have been the only one. But hell if the thought of being the first one to do it doesn’t turn him on likes crazy. “Luckily for you, I’m a pro at sex,” he lies. “I’m amazing. Just ask anyone. Wait, uh, not anyone, I don’t mean–”

“I know,” Hermann says. He sits up and plucks at Newt’s waistband. “May I take these off now?” He wets his lips again.

“By my fucking guest, dude,” Newt says.

Hermann tucks two elegant, nimble fingers under the elastic and slips Newt’s underwear down to pool around his ankles, finally letting his erection breathe a little. Newt leers down at him. “What about now?” he says. “Huh? You like this?”

But Hermann isn’t looking at his dick, inches from his nose though it is; Hermann’s looking to the left of it. “You have a scar here,” he says, and pokes at a small expanse of skin on Newt’s thigh between two tattoos.

“Uh,” Newt says. “Yeah, dude. I rammed into a table when I was rollerskating in the house once and had to get stitches.”

Hermann traces his fingers over the scar. “You must have been quite the handful as a child,” he says wryly.

The incident in question happened when Newt was twenty-four, but he decides it’s best to not divulge that particular bit of information to Hermann. “Uh. Yeah.”

Hermann reaches down and unbuckles his own belt, then begins to partially wriggle out of his stupid baggy pants and tighty-whiteys. “We’re matching,” he says. “Look.”

His left hip and thigh is a mess of scar tissue that Newt imagines, at one point, must’ve hurt like a bitch. Way more than Newt’s stupid incident with the roller skates. Way more than could even be compared to Newt’s stupid incident with the roller skates. But he smiles anyway: he likes the idea of it being some giant, flashing sign from the universe of their drift compatibility. “Have you looked in the mirror?” he says, and shuts his non-bloodied eye to make his point. “We’re not just matching there.”

“Hopefully not permanently,” Hermann says. He finally turns his attention on Newt’s dick, scrutinizing it like it’s one of his incomprehensible equations. It gets Newt even hotter. “Would you like to have sex now? I’m eager to put your renowned skills to the test.”

Newt doesn’t miss the sarcasm. It’d be kind of hard to. “Jackass,” he says. “Move over, I’m getting in.”

Hermann divests himself of the rest of his clothing and shuts off the overhead light while Newt makes himself comfortable on Hermann’s bed, though he leaves his small bedside lamp on to cast them both in a cozy yellow glow. All of Hermann’s room is shockingly cozy, in fact: the quilt tucked in neatly to his cushy mattress, the tea kettle on his dresser, the soft rug on the floor, the space heater (shut off) half-hidden in the corner. No wonder Hermann sleeps in so late. If Newt’s setup was like this, he’d never leave his quarters either.

“We could get under this, if you’d like,” Hermann says, pinching a bit of the quilt. “It’ll be warmer. It can get very chilly in here.” He fidgets. “And. Er. It’ll be easier to wash my sheets, rather than…”

“Yeah, that’s cool,” Newt says.

They move under the quilt. Hermann’s breath is warm on Newt’s face, and losing a layer seems to have imbibed Hermann with a newfound sense of confidence; his hands begin wandering across Newt’s body, up his sides, down his back, squeezing and pinching his skin, cupping his ass, and he layers kiss after kiss to Newt’s neck, his throat, his jaw. Newt rocks into each touch and moans helplessly.

“You’re so beautiful,” Hermann murmurs into his ear.

Newt laughs weakly. He’s gotten cute once or twice, but he doesn’t think anyone’s ever called him beautiful. It’s nice. He likes it. “Aw, dude.”

“You are,” Hermann says. “I’ve always thought you were. It’s been a terrible distraction in the laboratory.” He leans in and kisses Newt, still as graceless and chaste as before, but his low murmur has returned when he finishes, and it makes heat pool in Newt’s stomach. “Mm, sometimes all I could think about was how badly I wanted you.”

“Sometimes I used to jack off after we argued,” Newt blurts out.

Hermann blinks, surprised, and laughs. “Did you?”

“In the bathroom. Once in the supply closet. Nnh. Ah, fuck, Hermann, fuck–”

Bored of talking, apparently, Hermann’s decided to creep his hand lower and curl it around Newt’s dick. His touch is light, and unsure, and it kinda just makes it all even sexier. “I wish you told me this was your first time,” Newt whines out, pushing into Hermann’s fist. “I would’ve, guh, bought you dinner. Or something. We could’ve waited. Made it–made it meaningful.”

“Darling,” Hermann says, “this is perfect.”

Hermann kisses him; Newt comes, gasping and whining into his mouth. It’s a little embarrassing. He doesn’t think anyone’s ever called him beautiful, but he knows no one’s ever called him darling, and with Hermann the one being so sweet to him--it’s too much.

“Shit,” he pants afterwards, while Hermann examines the sticky mess on his fingers with mild interest. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to--I wanted to last longer.”

“Oh, we’ve got all night,” Hermann says, sounding pleased. He wipes his fingers off with tissues from a box on his bedside, then drags Newt’s hand under the covers to cup his own neglected dick, fluttering his eyelashes coquettishly. Newt swallows down a whimper. It’s not fair that Hermann is doing better at this than Newt. “I would like very much for you to touch me.”

“Okay,” Newt squeaks.

#newmann #maria's fanfiction tag #Anonymous #not sfw /////

55 notes · View notes

adverb-slut · 5 years

Text

Poison Apple Crêpes (Fanfiction) Part 1/2

I wrote this little oneshot initially on AO3, but I decided to post it on Tumblr, as well, since I am trying to write more fanfic on here!

Title:

Poison Apple Crêpes (Part 1/2)

Summary:

An incensed Mammon recalls a fond memory he has of Lucifer from when they were younger.

(Essentially just a fluffy oneshot about Luci doing his best and Mammon just realizing it because he is a dumbass.)

Genre:

Fluff

Rating:

Word Count:

2011

Mammon clutched the sheet of paper even more tightly in his fists, his knuckles curled so fast that his shapely white fingernails dug deep into his palms.

The paper—his fifth Chemistry III test with a score of less than 10%—was a crumpled mess and, unlike his usual treatment of schoolwork, couldn’t be thrown away. Because it was his fifth F- in a row, his professor had stapled an angry pink notice to the front of the exam, biding Mammon to have it signed by his guardian and returned to the professor so that he knew that someone other than Mammon was aware of his failing grades and was helping him get through the course.

However, since Mammon had no actual guardian, the role of signing permission slips, detention notices, release forms and the like for all the brothers fell upon Lucifer. And as far as Lucifer was concerned, he had signed far too many test-failure notifications for Mammon and was already livid with his younger brother for another one he had brought home yesterday for his Statistics IV class; he had confiscated Mammon’s beloved Goldie the second he had seen the telltale pink sheet stapled to the front of Mammon’s test the day before.

Of course, Mammon had thought to forge Lucifer’s signature on all his failed tests, but unfortunately, during the past year, much of the R.A.D.’s grading system had become computerized and Lucifer could see his siblings’ grades whenever he pleased. Mammon figured it would be worse for his brother to find out about his grades over the computer than for him to realize it in person—that gave him less time to plan out his punishment agenda.

Mammon shuddered at the thought of what his penalty would be this time and cursed Lucifer a thousand times over. A boiling ire snaked its way through his bones as he thought of the firstborn demon’s cruel sense of justice, but even more so at the fact that his preliminary punishment had already been granted the day before: his precious Goldie had been impounded.

He absolutely despised knowing that the few thousand Grimm coins that rattled around in his jacket pocket were all the money he had on him, period. The thought only caused his frown to deepen as he wrung his test even tighter and made his way to Lucifer’s private study.

The eldest demon’s study had always been a bit of a puzzle to his siblings, as rather than being locked by a key, it was kept shut through a voice command phrase. Belphegor and Satan had always reveled in guessing goofy phrases about Lucifer’s relationship with Diavolo as the code, but none of those phrases opened the door. Even when Leviathan, Beelzebub, or Asmodeus made any kind of attempt to speak the right phrase, the door still wouldn’t budge.

The five of them had always assumed that the code was some kind of personal anecdote, something that only those closest to Lucifer would know. This baffled them, as who would be closer to Lucifer than his brothers?

Mammon, on the other hand, never understood what was so hard about guessing the code—as far as he was concerned, any low-level demon could figure it out easy enough—not that he’d ever tell his other siblings what it was.

He walked up to the door to Lucifer’s study and muttered, “Eine klein Nachtmusik.”

It was common sense for that to be Lucifer’s super-secret code phrase. Back in the Celestial Realm, when Lucifer had been the Archangel of Music, "Eine klein Nachtmusik" had been his first and most beloved composition. He had written a great multitude of pieces for every instrument ever to be in existence, but there was no composition that he was more proud of than that one. Or, he had been, until his prized work had been released into the Human World and the credit for it had been taken by some Austrian mook by the name of Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart.

Mammon shook his head as the door to the study slid open smoothly without so much as a hiss.

Too easy.

He stomped in, his displeasure evident on his face as he turned toward his brother’s desk, hoping to see a dumbfounded Lucifer, irritated that someone had been able to outsmart his voice command security.

Instead, Lucifer was hunched over his desk, his head down and only propped up by a gloved hand that was sprawled delicately on his face.

Mammon raised an eyebrow and walked closer to the firstborn demon. His eyebrows raised; Lucifer was … sleeping? He paused, realizing that he hadn’t seen his brother at breakfast this morning, either. Had he been here in his study all night?

Mammon couldn’t even begin to wonder what kind of work would prompt his brother to slave at such odd hours. However, this didn’t bother him as he clasped his hand around Lucifer’s shoulder, poised and ready to shake the exhausted demon awake.

“Yo, Lucifer,” he began, but before he could finish his thought, his eyes wandered to the disarray that was Lucifer’s desk.

He cocked his head. His brother was renowned for being an incredibly immaculate demon; there never was a hair to be found out of place on his head, and even the clutter on his desk was always neatly arranged and tidy.

Mammon looked behind the desk and noticed that Lucifer had propped a window open and realized that the wind must have scattered the items on his desk.

Dozens of sheets of paper were strewn about and various pens and knickknacks littered the floor. In fact, Mammon noticed that the only thing that seemed to have survived the wind was the file folder that was directly in front of Lucifer. He found that strange and wondered why that was the sole object not privy to the elements.

He moved his hand off of Lucifer and stepped back when he noticed that the item that acted as a paperweight and held the file down was a small tabletop photo frame. Mammon raised an eyebrow as he picked the frame up and nearly dropped it when he saw the photo that was inside.

It was an older photograph, taken maybe five hundred years ago or so. He smiled, realizing that in the picture, he was only perhaps nine hundred years old. Lucifer, the other demon in the photo, was about thirteen hundred. The two of them were huddled under an umbrellaed patio table at one of the small cafés on the outskirts of the Devildom, grinning widely for the camera. Mammon had an arm wrapped chummily around his older brother’s shoulders, while the latter leaned into the touch with a carefree beam bigger than Mammon had ever seen it before.

Mammon smiled fondly; he recollected the café well. When the seven brothers had first moved to the Devildom, they had reveled in exploring the many restaurants that the realm offered, before finally settling on Ristorante Six as their favorite. However, Mammon reminisced, the particular café featured in the photograph remained a favorite of both him and Lucifer. On days that they weren’t busy with their own responsibilities, the pair used to would make the long trips to the fringes of the Devildom to the café and enjoy its specialty—crêpes.

He recalled that at first, he had kicked his legs stubbornly and pouted because none of the crêpe fillings were foods that he liked until Lucifer had persuaded him to try the dried blackbelly newt legs macerated in vanilla simple syrup as a filling. Mammon had fallen in love that day, and ever since then, he couldn’t get enough of the coarse, wiry stuff and considered dried blackbelly newt legs to be one of his favorite foods.

Lucifer, on the other hand, always ordered his crêpes brimming with several extra portions of poison apples. The sticky fruit was always slick with thick, purple glaze, and Mammon laughed when he remembered that by the end of every meal, Lucifer would woefully find his lips a very unbecoming shade of lavender.

His laughter stopped when he realized that it had been a very long time since he and Lucifer had been to that café. In fact, for the past several years, Mammon had spent most of his time meandering about in the exclusive and expensive shopping districts in the heart of the Devildom, never venturing to the dingy outskirts of the realm.

But still, he wondered, why he and Lucifer hadn’t at least made one trip to the café in all the years since.

Mammon’s heart dropped as he racked his brain and remembered Lucifer asking him, year after year—in an underhanded way, of course—if he wanted to accompany him on various outings, all of which were located in the very fringes of the Devildom and dangerously close to their café.

“Mammon, I’m going to drop Baby Satan at his Little Bookworms Club at the edge of town. Care to join me? We can find something to eat while we wait for him to finish.”

“Mammon, Levi stayed up late playing zombie games again, and he wants me to walk him to the Akuzon Delivery Center; he’s afraid something will creep up from the shadows and attack him. It’s at the far end of the realm, but we can buy some lunch in one of the cafés nearby if we get hungry. That is—if you’d like to come.”

“Mammon, do you recall that Beel received those three passes for two free meals apiece at any café in the Devildom? It was a prize for when he won the Devildom Junior High Pie-Eating Contest, I believe. Yesterday, he gave me one as penance for eating everything in the refrigerator, again. Would you care to use it with me?”

“Mammon, Diavolo said that it’s imperative that I deliver this bowl of warm chicken heart soup to his grandmother. She’s sick and lives in the Hellfire Retirement Community. You know where that is, correct? It’s on the outskirts of town, and we can get brunch afterward. Will you join me?”

He cringed as he remembered that he had turned down every invitation, too deep in one of his many get-rich-quick schemes once he had gotten settled in his life in the Devildom to take a moment to spend time with his brother. He realized now that Lucifer, his pride having taken too many hits from being snubbed a multitude of times, must have just decided to stop inviting him altogether.

Mammon sighed and put the photo frame back on the file in front of Lucifer. He decided to let him sleep—with all he did for his younger brothers, Mammon wagered Lucifer sure needed it. He uncrumpled his test and with one of the pens scattered about, scrawled Mammon already signed up for tutoring ); on the back, and left it on the desk, making a mental note to do just that—even though he despised the idea of spending his much-needed cashflow-planning time with the pretentious tutors at R.A.D.

He stared at Lucifer’s peaceful form for a moment before reaching down to pick up the windblown papers and place them neatly on his desk. He even rearranged all the other office supplies that were scattered about in a fashion that he was sure that even the tidy Lucifer would approve of.

“Stupid Lucifer,” Mammon muttered as he quietly closed the door to his brother’s study. “No wonder you were Father’s favorite.”

As he walked down the halls of the House of Lamentation, Mammon fingered the Grimm coins in his pocket. Now that he thought about it, he had just the right amount of money to buy a stack of crêpes to-go at that little café.

He nodded when he realized that in the glove compartment of his Demonio 666 Lexura, he’d also left at least six thousand Grimm worth of change for roadside emergencies.

… The perfect amount of money to add an extra helping of poison apples to said crêpes.

THE END

Read Part 2/2 here!

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me lucifer #obey me shall we date lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me shall we date mammon #fanfiction #fanfic #fluff #brotherly love #adverbslut_writes

107 notes · View notes

thesunnyshow · 4 years

Text

Name: reya

Writing Blog URL(s): @chu-ni

Age: 19

Nationality: african-british

Languages: english, swahili, korean

Star Sign: libra

MBTI: enfp/entp (it always changes lol)

Favorite color: purple!

Favorite food: i really love chicken burgers

Favorite movie: princess and the frog

Favorite ice cream flavor: vanilla!!

Favorite animal: elephants

Go-to karaoke song: fancy - twice

Coffee or tea? What are you ordering? caramel frappe with whipped cream, in general i prefer tea though

Dream job (whether you have a job or not)? secretary general at the UN….or an author

If you could have one superpower, what would you choose? making anyone agree with me and do what i want them to do

If you could visit a historical era, which would you choose? ancient egypt!!

If you could restart your life, knowing what you do now, would you?.....no.

Would you rather fight 100 chicken-sized horses or one horse-sized chicken? neither if i could lmfao but i’d go for 100 chicken sized horses

If you were a trope in a teen high school movie, what would you have been? the nerd who’s actually really pretty after she gets a cool makeover

Do you believe in aliens/supernatural creatures? im not sure about aliens, but i definitely believe in ghosts and spirits.

What are some small things that make your day better? when i can have moments to myself to enjoy my own company. or when someone asks me what i want to eat and they bring it for me 🥺

Fun fact about yourself that not everyone would know? uhm…...probably the fact that i write fanfiction lol..but outside of that! i sing in the shower. and i talk to myself a lot.

What fandom(s) do you write for? nct dream currently, but in the future i want to expand to other groups!

When did you post your first piece? 17th of June 2018.

Do you write fluff/angst/crack/general/smut, combo, etc? Why? i can never write just one genre. predominantly i write fluff with a dash of angst for spice simply because i love a story that has an issue and then having that issue be resolved for a happy ending. when i started my blog i was 17, and so i said i wouldn't write smut. now that i'm older im feeling more and more comfortable writing suggestive content at the very LEAST.. so maybe in the future i might write smut, who knows? i like writing fluff because i like making people feel good, but i like adding angst to it because i feel like the contrast between the two is very *chefs kiss* to me.

Do you write OCs, X Readers, Ships...etc? i only write x readers!

Why did you decide to write for Tumblr? i first got tumblr when i was 13 years old and i was a fresh kpop fan lmfao. i wanted somewhere that shared my interests. of course i discovered x reader fics on here and i was in awe, i guess of how much power writers had in contributing to fandom content and keeping readers satiated. i’d always loved to write and so i’d always wanted to start my own writing blog, and for 2 years i did write for other blogs! it wasnt until 2018 that i finally took the leap and decided to start my own, because i wanted to impact people's emotions and take them on a journey through my writing.

What inspires you to write? what inspires me….teen movies, music!! music is a big one for me, and also the books that i read. i also grew up playing otome games so the plots and writing from those influence my writing a lot.

What genres/AUs do you enjoy writing the most? i really enjoy writing royalty!aus as well as exes!aus. i love to do them cause they require me to build a world and with royalty aus specifically i love weaving together bits of political intrigue, or arranged marriages, etc. its so much fun!!

What do you hope your readers take away from your work? that if this world is too rough or too much, you can always escape from it. it might not be physical, but immersing yourself in a universe that's entirely different for a little while can help soothe you.

What do you do when you hit a rough spot creatively? usually i try and take breaks. the problem with that is that my breaks can go on for longer than i’d like and im trying to fix that. so my other solution is to read read read!! read as much as i can, or go back to books that i loved. ask myself what i liked about the writing, what are some parts that i thought were amazing examples of good writing - i note them down then see if i can apply that to my own work. another thing i do is take a break from writing my longer, fleshed out works and write blurbs! blurbs are a great way for me to write but not feel like its tedious because i don't have to spend as much time on them and it gets me into the groove of writing without feeling stressed out.

What is your favorite work and why? Your most successful? my favourite piece of work is miscommunication. it took me months to write that, even after i lost all the work halfway through, and its the longest piece of work i have written so far, so its kinda like my baby. my most successful is candy jar. its also the work i owe my blog exposure to - it was the first piece i published, and it was also the first piece of writing i did in around 4 years.

Who is your favorite person to write about? i don't have much out for them, but i really enjoy exploring mark’s and jeno’s characters. they're people, but in my work i enjoy analysing them and judging how they’d act in different contexts.

Do you think there’s a difference between writing fanfiction vs. completely original prose? the only difference for me is that fanfiction (depending on the fandom) has some of the stuff fleshed out for you already, such as the world its in. if youre the type to write AUs then the only thing you already have is the characters - the planning, the writing, the drafting, and everything else is still the writer's responsibility. therefore there isn't much of a difference between the two for me.

What do you think makes a good story? a good story, to me, is one that takes me on a journey. it could be any genre, but i like to feel immersed and connected to the characters and the world in it. also aside from the obvious, like good grammar, a good story feels natural to read. i don't feel like skim reading half of it.

What is your writing process like? my writing process consists of me getting inspiration - usually from a song, or a film or a book ive read or a game ive played - i note down my idea and who i want the story to be about, and then bullet point the whole story, with some snippets of particular dialogue i want the reader or the other person to say at certain scenes. i then open another document ( i have a writing app on my phone, called werdsmith, so i use that!) and set a word count goal i want to hit so i can track my progress and start writing the fic, with fleshed out language and exposition. when im done (usually after a couple weeks up to a few months, depends on the length of the plan) i read through it to fix any mistakes, then i transfer it to docs so i can read it again and italicise any areas i feel need it.

Would you ever repurpose a fic into a completely original story? i...don't think so. mainly because the original fiction i read and would like to write for myself is predominantly fantasy, whereas the fanfic i write on my blog is usually non-idol, normal fics.

What tropes do you love, and what tropes can’t you stand? im a SUCKER for enemies to lovers, royalty ofc, “and they were roommates”, and i think superhero aus are really cool but there isnt enough of them :( idol/you as member aus....not feeling her… also abo/werewolf/vampire aus….not feelin em

How much would you say audience feedback/engagement means to you? a LOT. a HUGE amount!! i said before how i like giving my readers somewhere where they can immerse themselves as an escape, even for a short while. hearing about how my work affected them, made them feel, makes me feel less insecure about what im writing and thus more confident to publish it.

What has been one of the biggest factors of your success (of any size)? i’d say reblogs. and also putting out more content. when i first uploaded candy jar i went to my one of my favourite writers (jaeminlore) and asked her if she'd be okay with reading it and giving feedback. to my surprise she loved it and her reblogging it to all her followers is literally what gave me a bunch of followers all of a sudden who loved what i’d written. to keep that momentum i created more and more content, and while i haven't uploaded as often as i've wanted to or written as much as i’d wanted to, i can say i have a good amount of work on my masterlist for people who are looking for more to read.

Do you think fanfic writers get unfairly judged? 100%. fanfic has an unfair reputation for just having bad writing and cringey fics (and i feel like this is because of the way society views the demographics who predominantly consume and create it), when in reality i feel like those who write fanfiction are extremely talented and selfless people. they're on the internet creating content for free for people to enjoy and like any other work of art they're putting time and effort into it. i think it should be respected. any form of art is going to have its good and bad sides.

Do you think art can be a medium for change? hmmm….yes. i feel it can be a way to reflect the thoughts of people and also be a way to inspire people to do more.

Do you ever feel there are times when you’re writing for others, rather than yourself? sometimes. sometimes i feel like i'm forcing myself to write because i feel like if i don't then people will forget about me or they’ll forget about my blog. while what i choose to write about is for me, i feel like the speed of my writing and what im writing isn't to the quality i want it to be cause i feel like i gotta get it out for people to read.

Do you ever feel like people have misunderstood you or your writing at times? i've never felt that way!

Do your offline friends/loved ones know you write for Tumblr? only 2 of my friends know, and i only told them like. a week ago!

What is one thing you wish you could tell your followers? i wish you guys would message me more! i'm quite a sociable person, and i’d love to have regular anons who talk to me 👉🏽👈🏽

Do you have any advice for aspiring writers who might be too scared to put themselves out there? i think one common thing amongst all writers is that we write what we want to read. so don't feel like nobody's gonna read your work, cause somebody will. you gotta act like your work is top tier even if someone says it isn't - always write the best you can, and just do it! like don't even give yourself time to overthink it, write that fic, make it look pretty, upload it onto tumblr and do not be afraid to ask your favourite fic writers to read your work once its up!! i’d be happy to read and give feedback for any fic writers as well so don't feel afraid!

Are there any times when you regret joining Tumblr? ive been on here for 7 years….i grew up on this site lmfao. but i don't think i regret joining tumblr once.

Do you have any mutuals who have been particularly formative/supportive in your Tumblr journey? shes not very active anymore and i miss her very much but user hyuck-s was so supportive and i love her!!

Pick a quote to end your interview with:

she believed she could, so she did.

BONUS ROUND: K-POP CONFIDENTIAL

#@chu-ni #thesunnyshow #featuredauthor #episode 32 #nct dream

5 notes · View notes

jimlingss · 4 years

Text

pt.2 of yesterday

I don’t want to flood people’s dashes, so hopefully answering your messages here will suffice!

anonymous asked: Hi! I wanted to tell you how much I love your work and how you make me enjoy every Monday thanks to your regular updates ! I saw a previous anon telling you how your writings lacks of emotion and I totally disagree with them... obviously everybody won’t like it but your stories just DON’T lack of love or emotion this is madness I want to thank you for publishing your amazing stories freely here for everyone to read. (Sorry if my English is weird I’m french ejfjekfjd)

“this is madness” LOL

You’re hilarious, anon. And your english is perfectly fine!!!

anonymous asked: Hello! Im the culinary student anon who sent you an ask a while ago and i saw you received an ask about the lack of emotion from your stories. I read kitchen romance and i actually really really like it and don’t quite understand how it lacks in emotions as I interpreted the stories more like the beginning of the oc and jin’s love story and they are only starting to open up to each other so i guess thats why anon might feel like it lacks romantic vibe from both of the characters. (1)

Anonymous said: Just want to tell you that you’re one of the best writer and ive been following you for 2/3 years now, you never failed to amaze me with your writings!! All your stories are so well written that i sometimes wonder how do you come up with such an amazing plot every single time and your stories are always nice to re-read and the effort you pour into creating your stories is also admirable (2)

while i was reading kitchen romance and ive only started s&c (currently on chapter 4) i can say that its pretty similar with how it is irl (and the part where we find out jk is an iu fans reminded me of my ex-crush whose also a culinary student, i would like to tell you a story about it but ill just waste your time lol) , just want to send you a few encouragement and love for you and your writings *sending virtual hugs* (3) -👩🏻‍🍳anon

You’re too kind, thank you (and also, welcome back!). I’ll be frank, there was a hot second I was considering taking down Kitchen Romance but I didn’t cause I don’t want my efforts of editing it to go to waste asdfghjkl. I can’t believe you’ve been sticking around me for so long :’) it’s always nice to know some folks stay. Anyway, I’m glad that Sugar and Coffee is pretty similar to how it works irl since I tried my best to do research. I definitely love a good storytime as well so don’t worry about wasting my time :>

Anonymous said: a good majority of your fics display an unfathomable amount of DEPTH. regarding character development. plot. even the shortest lines of dialogue reveal so much more to the character and unveil their true emotions. i personally think the more REALISTIC side of love may be perceived as 'bland.' ‘emotionless.’ whatever you want to call it. nothing’s wrong with portraying a relationship that isn’t overboard with a whole lot of tooth aching fluff or lowkey annoying pda. +1

Anonymous said: there’s nothing wrong with taking out a bit of emotion to fit the PERSONALITIES of the characters. some people out there don’t necessarily feel a lot of emotions. so it’s honestly not really a mistake if a story lacks it (unless it was unintentional). subtlety is an art that is hard to master, but you’ve done it! and to respond to the anon, sometimes, if you skim through a fic without reading every word the author intended for you to read, +2

Anonymous said: then it’s quite common to not feel the full extent of the emotions you were supposed to feel. just a thought but no hate. we’re all entitled to our opinions. but besides that, kina, you write on a vast scale ranging from hardcore angst to diabetes-inducing fluff. and you do it beautifully. sure there are some stories that are better than others, but i believe a LOT of it comes down to personal preference and taste. +3

Anonymous said: even if you are feeling creatively limited, you work hard to continue writing for your readers, and your determination and diligence wILL NOT GO UNNOTICED. i just want you to know that you write amazingly. your syntax is practically immaculate, your characters feel real… the endings of your stories always wrap something up and the strings are tied—even if it isn’t necessarily a happy ending. you can convey hundreds of different characters through WORDS. +4

Anonymous said: i’ll have you know that it’s hard to write. it’s even harder to write about people who aren’t YOU. so as someone who looks up to you a lot, i want to commend you for your writing. some of your fics that i read on a monthly basis: tears of a villain, a piece of the moonlight, head over heels to hell, ghost in the machine, a mark of betrayal, a kiss of poison, until yesterday, the truth between us and arcadia. +5

Anonymous said: to be fair, there were way more fics but i didn’t want to make this message any longer than it already is LOL. i find these pieces wonderful. heart wrenching. and SO DAMN EMOTIONAL IT PLAGUES MY MIND FOR DAYS. also you’re literally one of the few fucking people who can use the em dash correctly. thank you so much for sharing your talent with us! +6

Oh my goodness. I don’t even know what to say, anon. This is a whole damn thesis and it’s about my fics :’> You know, it’s easy to brush off fanfiction as a ‘whatever’ thing and indeed, it isn’t that big of a deal compared to some things in the world. But I really do take all my stories seriously and put forth a lot of effort - so to see it recognized and appreciated it makes me beyond happy. It’s good to know that my efforts haven’t gone to waste at all and that there are people out there who will support me no matter the endeavours I take. Thank you so much. You don’t know how much this means to me.

((Also, honestly I picked up the em dash usage after I wrote The Truth Between Us with gukyi who used it. I’m pretty sure I’m not using it right but to hear that I am, god damn that’s a breath of relief right there))

backtobleuside submitted: Are you kidding me!? Your stories don’t lack love at all. They’re the kind of fics that you read, soak it all in and then come back for more. I’ve cried so much when I read Beyond reach, Boo-lieve in me, A piece of the moonlight, His name, Tell me lies etc. etc, and also laughed and felt the emotions of not just the OC, but also the other characters. Kitchen Romance was also so fluffy and sweet and personally, I don’t think that anything needs to be added to it. Anyway, your fics do not lack emotion—you’re probably the first author I send a message to because your stories impacted me a lot and left a strong impression on me. I even imagine your characters as real people who have real lives that continue on even after the story is done.

asdfghjkl thank you :’) I see you every week and sometimes several times at that. I really appreciate your consistent feedback and following. You never fail to send me a message too which I appreciate a lot. I’m glad you’re enjoying everything I’m producing!!

youngfleurever said: Would just like to say that your fics do in fact make me violently sob to the boy where my eyes are so swollen I have trouble opening them the next day and I wake up feeling like there’s sawdust in my mouth because I’m dehydrated.

oh my god. please keep yourself hydrated hahahahhaha more importantly, how do you know what sawdust in your mouth is like. WHAT have you been doing LOL

Anonymous said: I’ve felt emotions that I’ve never felt before when I read your fics.... so as a person that has read your entire masterlist, I DO NOT think that your fics lack emotion.... I hope you don’t feel disheartened because you’re one of my favourite writers, not just on tumblr but like, evER 💓💓💓💓💓💓

Please, even if I was disheartened, the overwhelming amount of feedback and praise has completely overridden it :’)

joonie-mono said: when tumblr deletes the first part of your ask 🙄😌✌️

LOOOOOOOL

haylo4ever said: Sorry had to add my 10 cents. You're such a talented writer,,, I WISH I could write a smol smol 1/1000000000 that you write,,, like I remember when I followed you bc I was in awe of your writing.... I mean?? Sure maybe not every fic hits it with someone but it's just ridic to name drop (a friend nonetheless) when you're all extremely talented writers.

Trust me, writing comes with practice!! I should honestly just tattoo that on me. God knows my first fanfic was absolutely GARBAGE. I didn’t know pacing, didn’t know that I should separate chunks of paragraphs, how to write dialogue or describe scenes properly. I went in blind. Even my second, third and fourth fanfic was garbage. You could definitely get to “my level” or even far surpass it with enough dedication and practice. I mean I’ve been writing for four years, so thank GOD there’s been improvement. I wouldn’t be natural if there wasn’t. But clearly the more you practice, the better you improve! That applies to anything.

The me in ten years will certainly be better now.

Anonymous said: Hi kina! I’m here in support of kitchen romance! I actually didn’t feel like it was missing a ton of fluffy moments (and I say that as a huGE LOVER OF FLUFF) but the story was just as entertaining in the whole chase of them getting closer to each other! It’s honestly one of my favorite one shots I’ve read lately and I’m not saying that lightly! Also, that anon that said your work lacks emotion has probably not read like half of your masterlist bc oO MAN QUEEN OF MAKING ME CRY- black heart anon🖤

Thank you :’]

Anonymous said: Ok I’m very offended wow the audacity!Specially coming for my baby kitchen romance like that story made me feel so much and it’s only one of the many fics you have written kina like I’m literally baffled like dynasty has made me cry scream happy and hot all at the same time and I was literally just thinking about it that whole weekend and this anon has the nerve to say your stories lack emotions?When you are literally the queen of show casing all types of emotions in your stories!You did it all

Anonymous said: Also 😭😭😭😂😂😩hoooooooow and whereeee did they see any lack of love and emotions like have you read jungle park???? Inside my mind??? FREAKING SUGAR AND COFFEE (like this fic is made with love and I- ) Actually you know what , just read the whole masterlist😩😩💗💗💗

LOL tbh I didn’t expect Dynasty to receive the love it has. I was actually kind of wary when posting it cause it’s kind of Wild.

bangtans-peaceful-piegon said: just gotta say u handled that whole anon thing so well which not only makes me admire u as a writer but even more as a person :] (i mean i knew u were gr8 before the whole deal but yeah love ya 💛)

tbh, I’m not sure how well I handled it cause I was flooded with over 30 messages afterwards (evidently) ;_; which I love and appreciate but I’m not really as hurt as some people think hahaha criticism should be received well but it’s still hard not to take personally tbh. It’s gonna have to be something I work on or perhaps it’ll be one of those things that I’ll take better with age.

#anonymous #👩🏻‍🍳anon #backtobleuside #youngfleurever #joonie-mono #haylo4ever #black heart anon🖤

4 notes · View notes

kafeuka · 5 years

Text

[1/1] the hopeless case of a romantic

█ Title: the hopeless case of a romantic █ Summary: It wasn’t how he imagined it would be, but that night, Jeongguk knew he would not have it any other way. █ Status: Completed █ Pairing: Jeon Jungkook/Park Jimin This is written for JIKOOK WEEK DAY O1: Then and Now

Yoongi hyung often accused Jeongguk of being a hopeless romantic, as if having a big heart, a gentle soul and a love for love is a crime. He believed in soulmates; the idea of two people whose names and story were whispered amongst the stars never failed to warm his heart. This belief stemmed from his parents, the two human beings whom he loved most in the whole entire world.

He wanted someone who would look at him the way his father looked at his mother; as if she hung all the twinkling stars, shaped all the silver moons with her hands and paint the skies when the sun set. He wanted someone who would love him unconditionally, just like how his mother loved his father although she despised his smoking habit.

Despite their age, they were not shy in showing affection for the whole world to see. Jeongguk wondered how they were so comfortable with each other that whenever they were together, the rest of the world just seemed to melt away. As if the world was theirs, and the others were just living in it.

Because of this, Jeongguk was never really into a relationship. Not that he ever had one. Most of the times he would just admire someone from afar. He would rather not get involved at all.

Hoseok hyung suggested that he should go on blind dates. Initially, he agreed.

The first phase – adding them as a friend, sliding into the DMs – was great.

The next step – meeting and actually going out on a date – however, was terrible.

Gone the confident, charming boy from the DMs. Always replaced by the stuttering, sweating mess that was Jeon Jeongguk. It was awfully easy to compliment someone when you were staring at a screen, but when it comes to staring into their eyes, Jeongguk found himself shaking.

At the age of twenty, Jeon Jeongguk gave up in finding the One.

All of his crushes were out of his league and most of his admirers never called after the second date. He was not that desperate to send cute text messages to someone as he had this irrational fear of being a burden, but it would be great to have someone who would listen to him rant about how his day went.

As much as he hated to admit it, Yoongi hyung was not entirely wrong. He was not only a hopeless romantic, but he was hopeless and romantic.

ii.

When Jeongguk asked Yoongi hyung how he knew Seokjin hyung was his soulmate, he answered: “They say when you meet your soulmate, you just know it’s them.”

He hated how unhelpful those statement was, because that was not how he met his.

His parents’ love story was a typical love story. It was love at first sight – Jeongguk’s favourite. They met at a fair held at the amusement park. His father took the job of the ride operator for the summer, and as the stars had written it, he met her at the end of his shift. He always mentioned that she reminded him of a firework, beautiful and mesmerizing that his world stopped. She was queueing then, waiting for her turn and he saw a chance and took it.

While two of her friends were seated together, he stepped in and offered to sit next to her even though going to a someplace high was not something he considered an entertainment. Of course, his attempt caused an uproar, he received raucous boos from the other angry kids and a warning from the manager but it was worth it. He always had a small smile on his face whenever he got to this part of the story. They chatted as they waited and for the first time since he rode the rollercoaster, he was not the tiniest bit scared.

Jeongguk would never fail to let out an overly exaggerated groan, often expressing his displeasure by making faces along with a remark full of disgust, but he knew that he wanted, longed even, to feel that way too.

Meeting the One should be magical, like something that you would read in a fairy tale.

This was how Jeongguk truly believed would happen when he finally meets the one: it will be romantic, not too cringy and pukeworthy but just romantic enough to make his friends and his cousins to be envious of him. Time will stop when they lock eyes with each other, the angels will begin to sing while simultaneously play their harps to produce a mellifluous symphony of the century and petals would fall around them out of nowhere, just like the anime he watched last week.

That was not what happened.

It was not magical or dreamy or romantic.

He blamed all the Tony/Steve soulmate fanfictions he read at 3AM for implementing the idea of “love at first sight” and “instant connection between two lonely souls” inside his head.

In fact, Jeongguk met Park Jimin on a sunny Tuesday morning in the most Boring class in the history of Boring Classes. Jeongguk hated his guts at first. Whenever Jimin opened his mouth to speak, Jeongguk would find himself rolling his eyes and praying to God for an ice cream truck to drop on him. Being run over repeatedly by a lorry was less painful than having to sit in a two-hour class with Jimin.

However, there was also a saying that goes, ‘If you hate someone too much, you’ll end up loving them too much.’

That statement, however, was something he wished Yoongi hyung had told him instead.

iii.

They began to interact when they were allotted in the same group for their second assignment. Every second Jeongguk spent sitting at the same table with Jimin was agonising. Being in the same group at the same table meant that Jimin’s voice was now much clearer and he was now much closer.

Jimin’s face was pleasing to the eyes, he was soft and hard at the same time. He had gentle, dark and slightly slanted eyes yet his piercing gaze often made Jeongguk look away. His cheeks were round and squishy, they reminded Jeongguk of the mochi he always had after elementary school, however his jaw was as sharp as a knife. All in all, Jimin was not hideous at all, especially when he had his mouth shut. Unfortunately, Jimin had a lot he wanted to announce to the class so thanks to this irritating behaviour of his, it was not difficult to overlook his features.

He ignored the voice inside his head that screamed at him to ditch the class, but the rational part of his mind reminded him that he was a scholarship student. The last thing he wanted was to get kicked out just because he did not want to be in the same room as Jimin.

From the instructions, Jeongguk could already tell how much of a pain in the ass it would be. Decorating a booth? Creating an advertisement video? There was just too much work to be done in three months and there were only five heads in his group.

Naturally, Jimin was elected as the team leader because:

a) He was the teacher’s pet

b) Everyone in the group was utterly in love with him

Arguing about the team members position when you were going to be stuck with them for months was not something in Jeongguk’s list. He decided to went along with it, letting the protests vanish although they were already at the tip of his tongue and settled with an imaginary argument inside his head instead.

The first day was unbearable — Jeongguk had to lower his head once in a while to stop his eye from twitching in annoyance. Every single word Jimin uttered seemed to make his blood boil and head throb. He did not know it was possible for a person to be this insufferable. Jeongguk tried his hardest not to roll his eyes whenever the others were praising Jimin. His ideas were not exactly that brilliant, if Jeongguk were to be honest.

“Sorry, I was sort of rambling,” Jimin apologized with a small giggle.

Jeongguk managed to held back a groan. He knew damn well he was rambling and he apologized for it, but Jeongguk knew that he was not feeling sorry. Not even a little bit. Not when he had that proud smile on his face. God, Jeongguk would love to slap that smile from his face.

“Anybody had any better idea?” Jimin asked, looking at each and every one of them.

Pretending to be considerate? Man, this guy knew how to get on Jeongguk’s nerves.

He absolutely had no idea what came over him, maybe it was how the other team members were ready to lick the ground Jimin walked on, or maybe how irritating and high pitched Wonho’s giggles was, but Jeongguk opened his mouth up to speak, despite his brain being empty of ideas.

“Maybe, uh…”

All heads turned towards him, staring at him in anticipation. Somehow, instead of looking at anybody else, his eyes found Jimin’s. Jimin was beaming, dark eyes glistening as he slowly nodded to encourage Jeongguk. His gaze was different than the others, which was a good thing because it made him feel less nervous. Jimin’s smile stretched wider, and all of a sudden, the weight of the team’s collective gazes felt like it had been lifted from his shoulders.

Jeongguk brought his hand on top of the table, softly tapping his index finger as he straightened in his seat. With a newfound surge of confidence, he said, “Maybe, um… instead of making it only focusing on drawings or paintings, maybe we can… uh… consider every form of art for the website?”

“Huh… that’s not bad,” Chaeyoung murmured, before clicking her pen and started to write something on her notebook.

Jimin beamed, “I love the idea! That’s wonderful. This means that we are not only targeting painters, we are also attracting a large amount of audience who are—”

Jeongguk’s body went lax after his impromptu outburst (technically, it was not an outburst but he insisted that it was), he lain his back against the chair, wishing to become one with it. He felt thankful that nobody was criticizing his dumb idea. And never in a million years he wanted to admit it, but he felt glad that Jimin was encouraging him, instead of trying to shoot him down.

It was the first time he felt so welcomed.

iv.

Before the first week ended, they managed to lay everything down. When it comes to his leadership skills, Jimin was quite lenient in their task division. Jeongguk offered to work on the advertisement video, and as much as he would rather do it all alone, Jimin was determined that he needed help. As a method of group communication, Jimin created a group text for the five of them.

Jeongguk was hoping that it will be a quiet group, but it was especially alive at night and early in the morning. Jimin would never fail to send a message to greet them good morning and night, and sometimes he would send motivational messages for all of them. It took all Jeongguk’s willpower not to reply a ‘Shut The Fuck Up’ or leave the group, but he had to remind himself that he needed to be in good terms with everyone in the team.

Two weeks before the deadline, it was Jeongguk’s turn to play a huge role for their project. So far, he had only been helping with the report and booth decoration, which was not something major as everyone had taken part too. He announced in their group chat (which was probably his third time ever sending a message there) that he was going to start working on the video soon.

He completed the storyboard a few days earlier before sharing his vision to the group. He was ready to get attacked, to have Wonho judging him, to have Jimin being dissatisfied with his work, to Chaeyoung being disappointed and to have Mirae complain about how lacking it was. Unlike his expectation, they liked it. Jimin was the one who loved it the most, always complimenting how hardworking he was, and how he truly appreciated the effort Jeongguk made with the storyboard.

Instead of the usual ‘good luck Jeongguk!’ and ‘thanks for your hard work!’, Jeongguk received a private message from Jimin. They never texted privately before, and seeing Jimin’s name on a new chat caused him to raise an eyebrow. Was Jimin about to ask him to add last minute changes for the video?

With negative thoughts flooding his mind, he heaved a sigh before clicking it open.

✉ From: Jimin Hey! Just wondering if you are OK? If you need help, I’m here 😊

“Huh…” Jeongguk huffed, squinting his eyes in suspicion. His thumb hovered over the keyboard before typing an answer, only to backspace everything. It was rather curious how Jimin was checking up on him, as if he thought Jeongguk was unreliable.

Seokjin hyung often told him that he was always being sceptical for absolutely no reason at all, that he always thought of things negatively instead of positively. It was a trait he was not proud of, but he could not help it when Jimin suddenly text him privately out of nowhere.

After quite some time, he finally typed a reply.

✉ To: Jimin I’m fine. Thanks for your concern

Belatedly, he realised the text he sent seemed rude so he abruptly added a smiley face.

✉ From: Jimin Haha, alright then. Where will you be working on the video?

✉ To: Jimin I’ll be going to the art room to meet up with the art students. Then I’ll probably go to library to shoot some scenes

✉ From: Jimin Okay 😊

Jeongguk stared at the screen of his phone, waiting for ‘Jimin is typing…’ to appear. When it did not, he locked his phone and tossed it to his bed.

Of course, Jeongguk just had to be an idiot by telling Jimin his plan. The moment he entered the art room, Jimin was already there, talking with a few of the art students and laughing about something they said. Jeongguk nearly dropped his camera when he saw Jimin, not expecting the blonde to be there at all.

“Hey, Jeongguk!” Jimin called out, waving his hand at him.

Jeongguk awkwardly waved back, not liking the attention he was getting when everybody turned their heads towards him.

“So, where do you want me, mate?” Mingyu asked as he got off from the table.

“Preferably anywhere I can work comfortably. How about there?”

“So I just had to draw, is it?”

“Yeah. Just draw whatever you want, don’t pay attention to me. I want it to look candid,” Jeongguk informed before placing his backpack on top of the table.

While Mingyu was preparing his material, Jeongguk took out his tripod from his bag and began to assemble it together with his camera when Jimin approached him.

“Do you need any help?” Jimin asked, watching Jeongguk work with his camera.

“Nah.”

“Okay, I’ll just wait for you in case you need me.”

“You can go, you know. I can handle this.”

“I know,” Jimin grinned before shrugging, “Just in case.”

He doubted that he needed Jimin to be there, but before he could ask him to go again, he decided against it. Once Mingyu was ready, Jeongguk began recording. It was only a minute in when Jeongguk announced him to stop so he could check the video. The angle was perfect, Mingyu’s facial expression was good, however the lighting was unsatisfactory. Sure, it was not as terrible as the lighting in that one battle episode of Game of Thrones, but it would be difficult during the editing process later.

Jimin must have sensed that something was troubling him that the leader stood next to him, peered on the video and asked if something was wrong.

“Nothing’s wrong except the lighting,” Jeongguk murmured, looking up the ceiling to find the lights were already switched on to his dismay.

The weather was not exactly helping either.

“I can help,” Jimin quipped enthusiastically before taking out his phone from his pocket and switch on the flashlight as he waved his phone around. “Let me know where you need me.”

The whole idea was absurd to Jeongguk, but it was worth a try. In less than half an hour, with Jimin’s help, he was done. The one who was super happy about it was Jimin, who could not stop gushing how amazing the video was and how professional Mingyu looked. Jeongguk grinned as he pressed fast forward, completely satisfied at how the video turned out.

He thanked Mingyu and the art students before packing his stuff to move to the library with Jimin following him. One thing Jeongguk noticed about Jimin was how he just had a lot of things to talk about, never running out of topic. It was irritating at first, but at times he spewed some facts that Jeongguk found to be interesting. Jeongguk let him talk, he watched as Jimin was speaking animatedly about the latest comic book he was reading.

Surprisingly, the day (and recording) went by smoothly. He even had a few videos he could use for fillers. The four hours he spent with Jimin was not horrible at all. If anything, it was quite… enjoyable.

He decided that Park Jimin was less annoying now.

He was not entirely certain when he began to feel completely comfortable around Jimin, but he knew it did not take long enough to warm up to him. Gradually, he stopped talking rather formally to Jimin and started to jest around, well aware of how much he actually enjoyed hearing the laughter coming out from Jimin.

In fact, everything seemed to go so smoothly that Jeongguk felt worried. They managed to complete everything before the deadline, they have submitted their work early and all they needed to do was now prepare for the upcoming exhibition. Finishing early meant that they have time for other assignments.

Even after they were done, Jimin still never failed to greet them mornings and nights, asking them how their assignments went. Honestly, it baffled the hell out of Jeongguk because he was so used to not keeping any contact with his previous group members. Once a project is complete, so did their team. They were only there to work, not to connect emotionally. The change was refreshing that the spam of text messages from the group did not bother him anymore. It actually made Jeongguk went from completely silent, to the one who sent memes as a response.

A part of him was embarrassed of having terrible thoughts regarding his groupmates because now he came to a realization that he actually enjoyed their presence.

More specifically Jimin’s.

After everything was done and they were reaching the end of semester, Jimin insisted on having a celebration. Truth be told, Jeongguk was not big on social gatherings but after weeks of being with Jimin, he knew he was unable to say no.

Jeongguk found himself counting days to the celebration, a bit surprised at himself for feeling excited rather than dreading it. They went to a restaurant at first for dinner, but ended up going to the nearest club after Chaeyoung suggested. He swallowed, praying to the heavens that majority of them would decline but he could not help but to cave in when he saw how enthusiastic Jimin was when Chaeyoung brought it up.

Even before entering, music was already spilling out to the street and it felt as if heartbeats were on the loud speakers. It was not as crowded as Jeongguk had imagine, but there were still a lot than he would have liked. Most of them went straight to the dance floor, laughing and grinding against each other under the acid green lights. Jimin, however, strutted to the bar. Jeongguk only followed, knowing well that he would not be able to dance if there wasn’t any alcohol in his system.

The music only seemed to get louder by the second, and by the time Jeongguk sat next to Jimin, the blonde already gulped down three shots.

“Wow.” Jeongguk had to leaned it slightly and yell. “Slow down, Jimin.”

Jimin’s pretty lips curved upwards as he shook his head. Jeongguk watched as he took out his wallet, yelled at the bartender for one Zombie. Jeongguk have only drank beers from the convenience stores and a few sips of martini, so when Jimin had his drink delivered, he was a little bit in awe. It was served in a tall glass, bright red in colour with a lot of ice. Jimin ditched the straw, sipping them in one go. Jeongguk could not help but to stare in amazement.

“Jimin,” he called out, but the music drowned his voice. He tried again, practically screaming this time. “Jimin!!”

“Yeah?” Jimin answered.

“Are you okay?”

He could not hear Jimin’s reply, but from his lips Jeongguk could tell he was saying, “Grand.”

Jeongguk began to worry then when Jimin reached out for his wallet again, but Jeongguk stopped him and ordered water instead. He paid for the overcharged water bottles and handed one to Jimin. Jimin refused, shaking his head and pushing the bottle away.

The next thing Jeongguk knew, Jimin’s eyes widened in surprise and he abruptly clamped his lips shut. Jeongguk raised a brow in confusion before Jimin stood up from the stool, nearly toppling it in the process, then proceeded to frantically turn his head in search of something.

“Jimin, are you—” He was not given the chance to continue his sentence because Jimin dashed as soon as his eyes lit up. Bewildered, Jeongguk followed from behind, not before grabbing both water bottles.

Jimin ran to the bathroom, nearly colliding with a man who just came out of it, and Jeongguk had to apologize on his behalf. After profusely repeating his apologies and bowing to show sincerity, Jeongguk entered the bathroom and was immediately greeted with the sounds of Jimin retching.

The bathroom was a lot quieter; the music was barely heard inside the pristine white walls. Jeongguk approached the stall with an open door to find Jimin was kneeling on the floor, head bowing near the toilet bowl.

“Oh, Jimin,” Jeongguk sighed before kneeling next to him, trying his best not to breathe through his nostrils.

He gently caressed Jimin’s back as Jimin heaved. Once Jimin was done, Jeongguk offered him water, which Jimin gladly took. Jimin flushed before leaning meekly against the partition, lips swollen, nose red and his eyes teary. Jeongguk offered a sympathetic smile as Jimin sniffed.

“Are you okay?”

Jimin took a sip instead of answering, his eyes avoiding Jeongguk.

Jeongguk let the question hang in the air, not wanting to force an answer out of Jimin.

Jimin had a distant look on his face, and Jeongguk understood that there was something that was troubling him.

After a while, Jimin finally spoke. “Not quite.”

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

Jimin bit his lower lip, eyes softening as he lowered his gaze. “Not really,” he answered.

“That’s okay. We can talk about something else then. Or do you prefer to just sit on the dirty floor?”

Jimin’s lips cracked a smile Jeongguk did not know he missed. How could he missed Jimin’s smile when he had seen them more than the hair on his head?

“Thank you, Jeongguk.”

“For...?”

“For being here,” Jimin smiled. Oh boy, Jeongguk thought. Oh boy. “It really means a lot to me.”

Jeongguk had seen countless of smiles on Jimin’s face before but this one was different. His eyes did not crinkle in the corners, but his gaze on Jeongguk was soft and endearing. His smile did not reach his ears, but he knew it was genuine.

At that moment, sitting on the dirty checkered floor of a club he could not even pronounce, he was certain that he found the One.

vi.

Symptoms of falling in love according to the first website Google provided:

1. You can’t stop staring at them: check ✔

Of course, he could not stop staring at Jimin. He would not want to miss those smiles, the way Jimin would pout his lips sometimes when he spoke, how Jimin’s brows furrowed when he was thinking and the way Jimin’s eyes formed crescents and body vibrating when he laughed.

2. You want them to be happy: check ✔

Of course, he wanted Jimin to be happy. Jimin deserved everything good in the universe. Hell, Jeongguk would have swam the entire ocean and walk through fire just to see Jimin smile.

3. You always think about them: check ✔

Of course, he always thought of Jimin. The first thing he thought of after waking up? Jimin. The last thing he thought of before going to sleep? Jimin. Be it day or night, it was always Jimin, Jimin and Jimin. He was now a permanent resident in Jeongguk’s mind.

4. You’re OK with the gross stuff: check ✔

Of course, wasn’t it obvious? He would have left Jimin all by himself that night in the bathroom, but instead, he chose to stay and sat with Jimin to ensure Jimin was okay.

5. You love their quirks: check ✔

Of course, he did. Jimin’s quirks were adorable and undeniably, made his heart skipped a beat. He initiated skinship a lot, which Jeongguk did not mind, but whenever he put his hand behind Jeongguk’s nape, his thumb would create patterns. This only made Jeongguk lean in closer, his body tingling with every gentle movement his thumb made. Even his need of constant praises was endearing that Jeongguk found himself spilling praises after praises just for Jimin.

No longer was Jeongguk annoyed with his boisterous – and wonderful, if Jeongguk might add – voice and his invasion of Jeongguk’s personal face.

(And that was because he craved listening to Jimin talk and touches.)

6. You find yourself always talking about them: check ✔

Of course, he would talk about Jimin, what else was there to talk about? He first noticed when Yoongi mentioned how Jeongguk could not stop prattling about Jimin this, Jimin that. It was not as if he could stop himself.

7. You reread their text message: check ✔

Of course, he would reread Jimin’s text messages. They were cute, always full of emojis and they instantly lifted Jeongguk’s mood even just a little. In fact, he had Jimin’s text pinned.

8. You lose track of time and no amount of time spent with them is ever enough: check ✔

Of course, he could not be bothered checking the time when he was with Jimin. Spending just a few minutes with Jimin was better than not seeing him at all but he found himself yearning to have Jimin’s presence when they were apart.

9. You’ll happily jump through hoops without even thinking about it to be with them: check ✔

Of course, he would do anything to spend time with Jimin. He went to the club for fuck’s sake. He drank the bitter ass coffee despite knowing how much he hated it because Jimin dared him to. He lied about passing through the Science building when he was actually waiting for Jimin’s class to be over.

In conclusion: of fucking course he was truly, utterly and madly in love with Jimin.

vii.

Jeongguk was aware that the pros of being in love with a friend outweigh the cons.

For starters, he saw Jimin almost every day and unlike his previous crushes, he actually interacted with Jimin properly. As his dumb ass only realised of the feelings he had for Jimin at the end of the semester, he had to rack his brains to find out reasons to hang out with Jimin. It was easier on his part, as Jimin was friendly, so most of the time it was Jimin who invited him out.

Besides, being friends meant he was able to hold Jimin’s hand without being suspicious. Jimin’s hands were soft and they fit perfectly with his. His fingers were delicate that Jeongguk was afraid he might break them if he held onto Jimin’s hand too tightly.

They became attached to the hip when they began texting nonstop every day and night. But midnights were probably Jeongguk’s favourite because there was just something about the quiet, knowing that there were more eyes closed than open, that they started to get to know each other on an entirely different level. Their usual banters and meme exchange would transition to their deep thoughts and stories. Midnight conversations seemed to hold more weight, and knowing that Jimin chose to stay up to talk to him made him want to steal all the stars and gifted them to Jimin.

Jeongguk was the type to let his phone battery died before charging, but that habit was soon replaced by charging the device while texting Jimin.

But the cons of being in love with your friend? They’re your friend.

Jeongguk had never fall for a friend before, but he knew it had to be one of the worst things to experience. He was plagued with worries and anxious thoughts, always wondering if he was being way too obvious or if he seemed uninterested. To say that he would not want Jimin as a boyfriend would probably the biggest lie he ever told himself and Yoongi hyung.

“You should tell Jimin.”

“Hyung!” Jeongguk whined, hand slapping Yoongi’s arm playfully. “You know I can’t.”

As much as he wanted to, he could not. It was risky and Jimin probably only regard him as a friend. The shittiest thing about crushing on Jimin was how it made Jeongguk kept on dancing between the lines of wanting the whole world to know his humongous love for Jimin and losing Jimin. There was no doubt that Jimin was now one of the important people in Jeongguk’s life, and he could not simply bear the thought of losing Jimin simply because he could not control his feelings.

“If there’s one thing I learnt, Jeongguk, is that you either tell Jimin how you feel and the worst case scenario is that you fucked up, maybe you’ll lose what you have with him now, but from the stories I’ve heard, Jimin’s nice and he might still want to be friends,” Yoongi said, his demeanour completely changed. Jeongguk only stared at Yoongi, mind conjuring up images of Jimin rejecting him and it made him shudder.

Taking a deep breath, Yoongi continued, “Or you can say nothing, and it’ll fuck you up instead. Not gonna fucking lie, eventually you’ll lose him too. Knowing you, I’m sure you’ll end up avoiding him, which in turn, would hurt the both of you.”

Jeongguk gawked at him.

Yoongi hyung was right. And he would not give Yoongi hyung the satisfaction of him admitting that.

viii.

✉ From: Jimin remember that night when i hurled and you stayed by my side?

✉ To: Jimin how can i not the smell still lingered til this day :p

✉ From: Jimin fuck you ajsnsjs well i was going thru a ~difficult~ time sometimes i felt like out of place and that it’s my fault for the delay of testing the hosting but you guys were amazing, i am eternally grateful my other assignments were also a pain in the ass and i did not get along with my other teammates to add salt to the wound, i broke up with my boyfriend

✉ To: Jimin holy shit i have no idea & please jimin, it’s NOT ur fault. besides, we finished everything on time ur teammates is missing out & ur better off without ur boyfriend!!!! don’t be so hard on urself :(

✉ From: Jimin you make me tear up :”) thank you for staying by my side, jeongguk. i love you <3

ix.

Jimin had a boyfriend before, which was not surprising really, because who would not want to date Jimin? But hearing it from Jimin himself, Jeongguk could not help but felt a pang of jealousy in his chest. Sure, they were no longer together, but Jeongguk would still like to know who was the bastard who dared to hurt Jimin.

After tossing and turning for weeks, Jeongguk decided that he would confess once and for all.

They did not share any classes on the following semester, but they would still make time for each other. Spending more time with Jimin was both a blessing and a curse, it was as though he owned the world and yet his heart just kept on growing and growing in his chest, threatening to spill all his love for Jimin in the form of kisses and ‘I love you’s.

Most of the fanfictions he read had amazing yet unrealistic (for him to execute, yeah) confession scenes. There was one of Tony and Steve arguing and Tony ended it by accidentally saying that he loved Steve. It was cute, but Jeongguk and Jimin were not exactly enemies to lovers.

(Except that, in Jeongguk’s head, they kind of were. Although, the hatred was only one-sided.)

But Jeongguk knew for sure that he would not want to let Jimin know through text. There were a lot of memorable texts in their chat, and he would not want to feel upset when he scrolled through them in the future to find the texts of Jimin rejecting him amidst of it.

“You’re an idiot,” Yoongi voiced out as he stirred his ramen with the wooden chopsticks.

Offended, Jeongguk scoffed as he crossed his arms, glaring at Yoongi from where he was sitting. Yoongi ignored the daggers Jeongguk was throwing, instead he slurped the noodles.

“You’re the idiot,” Jeongguk countered childishly.

Yoongi licked his lips before he avowed, “You’re thinking too much. It should feel natural. You have to mean it, show him that you are serious.”

“You mean like… take him out on a fancy dinner or?”

“It doesn’t have to be like that. You can just text him right now, say that you wanna be more than friends, and that’s it.”

“Huh. How did you confess to Seokjin hyung then?”

Yoongi shrugged. “I didn’t. He did.”

When it happened, Jeongguk was not planning on it at all. They were having their usual midnight conversations again, and when the conversation seemed to shift into something less serious, Jeongguk had the urge to tell Jimin how much he meant to Jeongguk. He was driven to do so when Jimin ended his text with his usual ‘i love you <3’ that Jeongguk knew it was just a habit of his.

Gathering his courage, he asked:

✉ To: Jimin hey jimin can i call you?

Barely five seconds passed and yet Jeongguk was already sweating buckets. He was convinced that Jimin would not want to, maybe he had a feeling that this was about to happen and Jimin chose to turn off his phone. He saw the speech bubble, indicating that Jimin was typing, and he did not give Jimin the chance to send his text because he abruptly pressed on the green button.

It only took him one ring for Jimin to answer. As soon as he heard Jimin’s raspy, “Hello,” from the other line, his brain chose to empty all his thoughts. His mouth was drying, desperately trying to find the right words so he would not sound like a creep.

“I love you,” he blurted out.

Jimin let out a giggle before answering, “I love you too.”

“No, no, I mean,” he licked his lips, gripping on his phone even tighter. “I love you like I love love you. I love you as in I would drive you to the moon. I love you as in I wanna hold your hand and never let it go. I love you as in I would bring you breakfast in bed, if you’d let me. I love you as in—” he took a deep breath, internally wincing at how his voice was so shaky, courtesy of his heart hammering wildly against his chest, “— I only watched Frozen despite hating it because it was with you, and that is better than not spending a few minutes without you.”

“Oh.”

Jeongguk could not tell what Jimin was feeling from the tone of his voice.

Disappointed? Congratulations, Jeon Jeongguk, you just ruined a friendship that could’ve lasted a lifetime.

Angry? Jeon Jeongguk, you dumbass, why the fuck do you have to go and develop feelings?

Jeongguk wanted to throw his phone to the nearest wall, the silence from the other line was suffocating him. He was certain that he had just ruined one of the best things that ever happened to him. This was what he got for listening to Yoongi hyung again. Confess, he said. It won’t be that bad, he said.

“Jeongguk, I—”

I’m sorry. I can’t. We’re just friends.

Jeongguk screwed his eyes shut, biting his lower lips. He waited for the rejection to hit him like a punch. It was inevitable after all.

“— I’m glad. I’m glad you feel the same way.”

“Eh?” Jeongguk blinked, straightening his back. Were his ears defying him?

He heard Jimin huffed a weak laugh. “I love you too, love as in when I close my eyes, all I see is you.”

“Oh.” Warmth and embarrassment flooded through Jeongguk at once. He cleared his throat. “Well, okay, then. I’m gonna hang up.”

“Wait! You’re gonna hang up on me? After I confess my love for you?”

He could see Jimin slyly grinning now, probably enjoying the situation more than he should. Jeongguk chortled, “What else do you want me to say?”

“I don’t know…” Jimin sighed, but he was unmistakably smiling. “Maybe you can ask me out?”

“Hm,” Jeongguk pretended to ponder, his heart swelling. His hands were shaking and the drowsiness he felt earlier subsided, swapped by the sudden surge of happiness he felt in his veins. “Maybe tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow.”

Jimin giggled again, causing Jeongguk to bit his lower lip to tamper the smile that was threatening to take over.

“I’ll be waiting then.”

That night, Jeongguk did not sleep at all. How could he, when reality was finally better than his dreams?

xi.

“When did you know?” Jimin asked. He scooted closer to Jeongguk, resting his head on Jeongguk’s shoulder.

Jeongguk hummed, wrapping an arm around Jimin. “Know what?”

“Know that you’re in love with me,” Jimin whispered, sounding bashful as he nuzzled his nose against the crook of Jeongguk’s neck.

“Oh, that,” Jeongguk murmured. He twisted his lips to the side, slightly ashamed and reluctant to tell Jimin. “That night at the club.”

“Yuck!” Jimin giggled, reeling his head back in surprise before playfully hitting Jeongguk’s chest. “That night? I was on my worst, oh my god. I was puking, for God’s sake!”

Jeongguk laughed, shaking his head in embarrassment. “I mean, I’m pretty sure I had some feelings way before that but that night, I just knew, you know.”

Jimin scoffed. “Out of all times and places…”

“What about you?” Jeongguk asked, turning towards his boyfriend. “When did you know?”

“Did you know why I broke up with my ex back then?”

Jeongguk grimaced, he was not fond of Jimin’s exes. Up until now, he still had no idea who it was.

“Because, well, this is embarrassing. I had a crush on you. Initially, I thought it was dumb of me to throw away a relationship over something that was not certain. But that night, when you chose to comfort me and stayed by me, even when I was at my worst, that’s when I knew that I…” Jimin shifted his gaze elsewhere, pretending to be interested at the bowl on the coffee table. He reached out, grabbing the bowl and picked on the popcorns.

“Holy shit… at the same time? Really?”

Jimin shrugged, holding the bowl closer to him before he lifted Jeongguk’s arm to rest against his shoulders.

“You know,” Jeongguk mumbled before planting a kiss on the back of Jimin’s head. “We don’t have to watch this. I know you don’t like The Walking Dead.”

“’Course I don’t,” Jimin replied, munching on a popcorn. “But I’d watch this with you. I mean, it’s better than not spending a minute with you.”

“God, I hate you.”

Jeongguk knew Jimin would never miss the opportunity to make fun of Jeongguk’s confession, and although it was humiliating, a part of him was glad that Jimin did.

xii.

This was how Jeon Jeongguk’s wedding vow went:

“Jimin, I used to believe that I would hear bells when I first met my soulmate. Instead, all I heard was your deafening laughter in class, which now I have come to love. You are the kindest person I’ve ever met, you are gentle in everything you do and I think that’s the most beautiful thing a person can be.

Thank you for staying with me, for being by my side. Thank you for bringing sunshine and colours to my life, for always believing in me, for never giving up on me even after I accidentally ruined the ikea shelf. Thank you for giving me the best version of myself.

I promise to make you laugh when you’re taking yourself too seriously, to care for you and to have Disney marathon without skipping Frozen with you. I promise to love you unconditionally. You are the sunlight that rose again in my life, reincarnation of my childhood dreams, my soulmate.”

#jikook #kookmin #jikook fanfic #kookmin fanfic #kfk: oneshot

18 notes · View notes

name-me-regret · 4 years

Text

Till I Touch The Sky - 4/9

Till I Touch The Sky Chapter Four: Further And Further

Summary: Peter wakes up in the hospital, outside of his body... Read on AO3. FANFICTION MASTER POST

- ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ “The day is incomplete The thoughts of total defeat I don't know what is happening to me Or if I'll die, 'cause I just never sleep You awoke into my night You could see the madness in my eyes I've lost control, please save me from myself...” ~Insomnia (Acoustic) - IAMX - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~

June 08, 2015, Monday, 12:05AMPeter blinked open his eyes and sighed when he was next to his hospital bed. His body was in the bed, and it was attached to the usual things; heart monitor and an IV drip on the back of his hand. Also, he was connected to a respirator.

Oh no, that wasn’t good.

It was possibly pneumonia, which meant the rattling in his chest Mr. Stark had heard was the start of it. That meant that the medicines weren’t helping him at all, and his lungs were getting weaker and more damaged from the dirty city air. He didn’t even want to think of being forced to be on oxygen for the rest of his life, constantly, every second of his life. Also, not to mention the cost of having to be on oxygen 24/7.

Peter knew though, that this was likely what awaited him, and at times...

Peter decided to concentrate on the here and now, looking around at the hospital room he was in. He would have believed that he was dreaming, if it wasn’t for what had happened. Riley and Hailey and their mother had been in trouble in his ‘dream’, and he’d woken up and they had in fact been in danger from the same man. Either he’d dreamed it was happening, or he really had been outside of his body.

The teenager wasn’t sure which one it was, but he knew that he had to be careful, and not be so reckless anymore. Especially now, since this was the first time this had happened while he was away from home. Then again, he’d never slept anywhere else besides at home, and his previous hospital stay and this time couldn’t be considered sleeping. If he had to guess, he was likely in a coma or was being kept medically asleep.

Both of them were equally as scary, especially the latter.

Peter was reluctant to leave his body while not at home, but he found his curiosity getting the better of him. He walked out of the room as the rest of the area lit up, and he wondered if it was his aura that was lighting it up. It was soon clear that he was in the ICU, which wasn’t good. Being in the ICU was an expensive stay, no matter how small.

At times he wondered if it had been better not to have ever come to live with Ben and May. Then they wouldn’t have been burdened with so many bills due to his shitty health. Maybe Ben would still be alive. It would have been better not to be born at all.

Peter gasped as the room started to get darker, even in his immediate area and he had to stop since he couldn’t see anything. Did he die? Or maybe the rest of the world had ceased to exist?

He cried out as he was bombarded with thoughts, feelings and fragments of memories as someone passed through him. Peter staggered to the side where the wall was as the rest of the world came back into focus (albeit still with that fuzzy quality to it). He somehow managed not to fall through the wall, and even as he panted with exertion, he remembered that he didn’t need to breathe while he was like this.

Although, now that he paused to catch his breath, so to speak, he started to think that maybe his sad, depressing thoughts from a few minutes had caused the darkening of the world around him. Perhaps being in this state amplified any emotion he felt, which is why he was fearless while he was out of his body. That meant, that he was able to see due to his own aura and anything negative or sad made it dim, and thus he was not able to see. It wasn’t that the world disappeared, but that he wasn’t able to see it; was blinded to the world around him.

If that was the case, he wondered why the plane of existence he walked in when he left his body was so dark, as if it lacked all light and life. It couldn’t be that it ceased to exist as he had thought, after all, that person (a woman judging by the pieces of memories he’d gotten) proved that the world still existed.

When he walked back to his hospital room, he confirmed that he was very much alive, or at least, his body was. Whether that applied to his current form was debatable, and best saved for another time when he wasn’t in the hospital. After all, his depressing thoughts might affect his physical body.

He straightened in confusion as an alarm started to blare from one of the rooms near by. Peter moves over to the door, watching from the doorway as unobtrusively as he could, seeing as one of the nurses that had rushed in to check on the patient. He couldn’t tell who it was with the three nurses hovering over the bed, but when the heart monitor gave a shrill whine, he felt the urge to get closer.

“She’s coding! Get the doctor in here, stat!”

Peter moved around the room without getting closer, not wanting the nurses to pass through him accidentally. His head tilted to the side in bafflement when he saw a thread-like line at the center of the woman’s chest, whose face was obscured by the bandages wrapped around her head as well as the mask they were using to administer CPR.

The other end of the thread was hovering close to the ceiling, and as Peter watched, a body started to appear. She was transparent and appeared to be naked, if he had to guess, since at about her waist the rest of her body disappeared. As her face formed all the way, Peter realized that it was Miss Jones, Riley and Hailey’s mother.

Her eyes snapped open before his shock could register, mouth falling open before she screamed. ‘NO! HAILEY! RILEY! DON’T TOUCH THEM!’ Her eyes flickered back and forth, seeing something that Peter couldn’t. Then her face tightened into determination. ‘DON’T TOUCH THEM! YOU’LL HAVE TO KILL ME FIRST!’

Peter had a pretty good idea of what she was seeing, likely reliving the attack from that man. He covered his ears when she started to grunt and cry out as if receiving hits and blows, but this wasn’t his physical body so he could hear every sound. As each remembered blow came, the thread started to fade away as the heart monitor flat-lined. The nurses (and the doctor that had arrived at one point) started to shock her, and when they did the thread reformed, but immediately started to fade again.

He couldn’t stand to keep watching and was about to leave, but something made him turn back. It was a whispered voice, the same one that had been screaming moments before. ‘Keep his attention on me. Don’t let him harm my kids. Dear God, save my babies from this monster. I don’t care if I die... Hailey.... Riley.’

In the background, Peter distantly heard the medical team stop trying to revive her. “Alright, I’m calling it,” the doctor sighed sadly. The thread flickered like a candle about to be extinguished.

‘HEY!’ Peter rushed forward as he propelled himself up toward the woman, reaching out and was only mildly surprised when he was able to grab onto her. Her face changed and she turned to look at Peter, confusion on her ghost-like features.

‘FIGHT!’ he yelled. ‘THEY NEED YOU! THE TWINS NEED YOU!’

She flickered like a dying ember, and was almost gone, more transparent then even Peter. His eyes filled with tears but they couldn’t fall, not while he was like this but his own aura dimmed in sorrow.

‘Hailey.... Riley,’ she whispered, her voice sounding loving and desperate.

Then she ignited like an inferno as the thread thickened from the woman’s sheer force of will; a mother wanting to protect her children, defying even death. Peter was flung back, and he managed to stop himself before he flew through the wall.

As he lifted his gaze toward her, she smiled at Peter once before she was yanked back into her body. Her physical body breathed in as the monitor register her heartbeat once more, steady and strong. The medical team paused, the doctor already out the door before he ran back in when a nurse called him back. He’d already pronounced her dead, the nurse had even written it on her file and had been in the process of going to alert her teenage children in the waiting room.

The doctor checked her pulse even if the monitor was showing that her heart was beating. “It’s... impossible,” he whispered in disbelief. He cleared his throat a moment later with a sharp nod. “Let’s check her brain activity. She was gone for a few minutes. Let’s make sure there’s no brain damage.”

Peter was horrified to hear that, not having thought of it in the heat of the moment. He’d just reacted on his desire to save her, thinking of the twins devastation if their mother had died. Peter had thought of how he had felt when Ben die.

However, he’d been selfish, since he hadn’t even thought about how this might physically affect her. She could very well be a vegetable for the rest of her life, and he would be responsible. Peter had done this.

He staggered away, wanting to be away from there. The world dimmed around him as his grief and guilt filled him like a cup overflowing with too much water.

“My oh my, you’re projecting pretty loudly there,” an amused voice said.

Peter flinched and turned, the voice coming loud and clear, almost jarring. He couldn’t help but think this person was talking to him, even if no one had ever been able to see him before.

When he turned though, there was a heavily bandaged man staring right at him. His entire face and head was covered in gauze, so only a pair of warm brown eyes were visible. They were sharp and clear, and the skin around them was horribly disfigured. The nurse that had pushed him inside in the wheelchair he was sitting in wasn’t paying him nor Peter any attention.

She set the brakes and then started to push back the sheets and blanket from the bed, and Peter realized that he wasn’t in the same room where Miss Jones had been in. He must have passed through the wall without realizing, and was likely in one of the adjacent rooms.

However, the man didn’t appeared to be critical. He heavily injured if the gauze covering the entirety of his face and head was any indication, possibly a burn victim, but this wasn’t the burn unit.

“Oh yeah, I can see you, baby boy,” the man said, voice a sort of amused smugness that Peter didn’t know how to take. The nurse ignored him as if use to his antics, and started to helped him into the bed. He groaned as he climbed up with difficulty, and Peter could tell he was in a lot of pain.

“The doctor will be in shortly, Mr. Wilson,” she told the bandaged man. Then she quickly and quietly left, closing the door behind her.

Peter returned his attention to the man, who was looking at him as he pressed the button on the control that lifted the bed. Even that seemed to pain him as his body was lifted up until he was in a sitting position. The action of sitting up, shifting his body, seemed to cause him such discomfort that his other hand gripped the sheet in a white-knuckled grip.

‘Are you okay?’ Peter asked, his voice sounding wobbly even to his own ears (although technically did he even have ears at the moment?).

The bandages over the man’s mouth shifted and Peter wondered if he was smiling or frowning. “How charming, the dead boy worried about me,” he drawled in mock amusement. So it was neither; probably a smirk, or a sneer. “How adorable.” The gauze over his mouth moved to indicate he had spoken, otherwise he could almost convince himself that he wasn’t even talking.

Peter avoided the bed and the man’s reach, afraid that because he could see him, meant he could also touch him. He wasn’t sure and besides, Peter didn’t want to know what he was feeling, have his thoughts in his head and especially not any memories.

‘I’m not dead,’ Peter mumbled. His attention was taken by the sight of a dead potted plant by the curtained window, mostly dead. ‘But your plant is definitely dead. You should get the nurse to water it or throw it out.’

“Hold on, shut up for a sec. You never stop when you get started, do you?” He turned off the television, which had been nothing more than background noise at that point even if he hadn’t even been watching it. “What do’ya mean you’re not dead?”

Peter shrugged. He crouched down when he noticed something crawling along one of the plant’s dying leaves, which turned out to be a beetle. ‘My body is down in ICU. I think I’m in a coma. I must have dream-walked here.’ He reached out to try and touch the beetle, but it flew off almost like it sensed him and landed on another part of the plant. ‘I think some beetles are killing your plant.’

The man laughed. “Jesus Christ, kid. You tell me you’re in a coma in the next building and you want to talk about beetles eating my plant?”

Peter’s head lifted so sharply that if he’d still been in his body, he’d have likely hurt his neck from the sudden movement. ‘W-what? The next building? But... I w-was just in ICU watching Miss Jones...’ Peter cut himself off as he remembered that he’d been feeling terribly guilty due to the woman perhaps being brain damaged after coming back after being dead for so long. That he had been wishing to have never hurt her in such a way, and wanted to be away from there...

The teenager quickly went to the door, sticking his head through it to see the hallway and nearby was the nurse’s station and the sign read Oncology. That meant he was indeed in the next building in the Cancer Center. He’d never been to this part of the hospital before, since he’d only come whenever he’d be hospitalized due to his asthma or to see a specialist to see about his worsening health problems. Peter didn’t want to be in the hospital any more than he needed to, and there had thankfully never been a reason to visit the Oncology Ward.

Ever since he’d started ‘dream-walking’, he had learned new things he could do while in this state. He was always wearing the clothes he slept in, so he was usually in his pajamas (and his hospital gown at the moment), but he found that he could change his appearance if he concentrated hard enough. Peter was only able to do this for a short amount of time and it always left him feeling really tired, and he had even known he could get tired while dreaming.

Now, he knew better and that this was no dream. He was just walking out his body somehow, and now it appeared he had done something new. The boy wasn’t really liking it though, since this was the farthest he’d ever been from his body. It scared him more now that he knew this was no dream; scared him to think he could get hurt going through walls and people and his physical body would be affected.

“That looks creepy, just so you know,” the man said as he stuck his head back inside the room. “Seeing your head disappearing through the door like that. Thanks for that trauma, since I wasn’t nearly fucked up enough already.” Peter wasn’t sure if he was joking or not since he said it in such a flippant way. “And it’s called astral projecting, brat, not dream-walking. It’s your spirit or soul, whatever you want to call it, being able to leave your body for a while without actually dying.”

Peter frowned. ‘Astral... projecting?’ He looked down at himself, how see-through he was. ’Is that why I look like a ghost? I thought I was dead the first time it happened, since I fell and hit my head. Then I thought they were just dreams, but this is really happening, isn’t it?’ Peter asked the man as he lifted his gaze to look at him.

The man sighed and flung back the covers. “Here I was hoping for a nap, but now I gotta help not-dead boys figure out astral-projecting cause they’re amateurs that don’t know shit.” He grunted in pain as he sat up, and Peter’s eyes were once more drawn to his arms and legs. Almost every bit of flesh visible was covered in bandages, even each individual finger. He wondered what had happened to cause so much gauze covering his body. “I’m going to blush if you keep staring so hard, twerp.”

The teenager realized how rude he was being and hastily turned away. Actually, he realized he had been a voyeur by accident, thinking the times he’d astral-projected had been dreams. That meant, he had seen Hailey briefly nude that one time, Riley in the shower, and those times he’d sat in the other’s room listening as he had strummed on his guitar and sang.

He’d been such a creep.

After a few grunts and groans of pain, the man had finally managed to plop himself in the wheelchair the nurse had left in the room. Peter turned back, glad he wasn’t in his body or he’d likely have been red as a tomato at this moment. “Alright, shortstop, lead the way, and stop all those angsty teenager feelings. You have no mental shields and its giving me a headache.”

Peter stepped away quickly as he rolled himself forward, not wanting the man to go through him. “You’re smart,” he laughed. “Good, don’t touch me. You definitely don’t want all my thoughts and memories in you. How much do you see when you pass through someone?”

The teenager followed after him quickly as Mr. Wilson pulled open the door with some difficulty, Peter starting to walk at his side but avoiding anyone that was walking by. ‘Their feelings and thoughts at the time... well, more like their intentions than actual thoughts. There are... some fragments of memories.’

“Seems about right,” he said as he continued to wheel himself down the hallway. “How long have you been projecting? Can you move things yet?”

The nurses and medical professionals they passed mostly ignored them, or rather, they ignored Mr. Wilson. ‘Um... about two months, more or less. No, I can’t move anything. Will I be able to?’ The thought was an exciting one and was something he definitely wanted to explore more. ‘Can you astral-project, Mr. Wilson? Is that why you know so much?’

Mr. Wilson snorted. “Hell no. I just have the sight, but I can’t astral-project. A damn shame, since I wish I could leave this fucking body behind.” It pained him whenever he moved his arms to propelled him along on the wheelchair, if his flickering aura was any indication and he wondered not for the first time what had happened to him. Peter had a feeling that he shouldn’t ask him though, since he was likely to not answer, or would answer. He wasn’t sure which one would be worse.

“How do you know so much if you can’t astral-project?”

“Because you’re not the first astral-projector I’ve met. It’s dangerous when you don’t know what you’re doing. That’s why you have to get back to your body. Being too far away from your body for a long time is dangerous,” he warned. “You’ll lose sense of yourself, and even start to forget who you are because you don’t have a body to anchor your mind and spirit.”

The man seemed to know where he was going and Peter had to wonder how long he had been at the hospital, but once more, he didn’t ask. As they passed the various rooms and people in this particular ward, Peter saw some people that looked more dead than alive. They were likely close to death judging by their flickering auras, which were threatening to flicker out of existence. It was like the line that had attached her ghost (soul?) to Miss Jones’s body as she had been dying.

In one room they passed, there was a little boy that looked no older than nine. He stood in the doorway and watched them pass with sorrowful eyes, and Peter opened his mouth to say something. “Don’t,” Mr. Wilson snapped, his playful tone having hardened into something dangerous. “Keep moving.” He hurried his hands on the wheels to make himself go faster, and once they turned the corner, he stopped and looked up at Peter, since he was shorter than him while in the chair.

“Never speak to those with no auras. The recently dead still have some kind of aura, a bit of life left. But those that have no aura have been dead a long time. If you let them in, they’ll attach themselves to you like leeches, sucking away at your aura, your life.” He started to move forward again. “Don’t touch them, don’t talk to them. Don’t even look at them.”

Peter could only nod, feeling shaken by his words. ‘Can... can they get inside my body?’ The thought hadn’t even occurred to him. This was a hospital and people died here... and he’d left his body so far away. How many of these ghosts were between him and his body? Maybe someone (something) had already gotten inside of his body!

His terror manifested like a dark cloud so suddenly that he had no time to stop it, covering everything around him as he lost sight of the floor under his feet, the hallway around him, and even Mr. Wilson. The only thing he could think of was that something was inside his body! He was stuck like this, and he’d never be able to get back to his aunt, back home.

He was stuck like this!

“...id! Kid! Jesus Christ, you’re strong! Kid!” Mr. Wilson cursed. “No, I’m fine! Leave me alone!” the man snapped at someone else. “Kid! Get ahold of yourself!”

Peter found himself suddenly on the floor on his hands and knees as he breathed heavily like he’d run a mile, the man’s voice having snapped him back to himself. The floor felt so real and solid underneath him and he felt someone or something brush against him as he jerked away, arm flailing with the intention to push whoever it was away from him. The nurse that had been rushing past with a tray with a syringe on it shrieked in fright as the tray was knocked out of her hand seeming on its own.

‘W-what?’ Peter gasped, looking at his hand in shock before turning wide eyes toward Mr. Wilson.

The injured man was being restrained by a male nurse in scrubs, and he and the others had turned to look at the tray incredulously. His bandages had shifted enough for him to see his mouth, which was spilt wide with a grin. “Holy shit, kid! Did you just manifest enough to physically knock that tray over? In two months?!” He sounded gleeful even if Peter was sure he was in a lot of pain from being manhandled by the nurse.

One of the other nurses had recovered enough to recover the capped needle, using some hand sanitizer port on the wall to sanitize the dropped needle. “Aww, crap,” he chuckled ruefully. “I guess this is as far as I can accompany you, kid. These morons think I’ve gone crazy... which they might not be wrong, if I’m being completely honest!” The nurse uncapped the needle and another swabbed his arm with an alcohol wipe. “Ooh, they’re gonna give me the good stuff too!”

Peter watched helplessly as they stuck the needle in his arm and then pushed the stopper all the way down. “Time for nighty night.” The teenager rushed forward, maybe to help him or stop them. “NO!” Peter stopped. “Don’t touch me... I don’t want you to see... I won’t do that to a kid.”

‘Peter,’ he blurted out. ‘My name is Peter Parker, Mr. Wilson.’ He may not see the man again, and the thought was a lonely one. There hadn’t been anyone that could see him as he was now, and what if he never woke up? What if he ended up bodyless wandering the halls of this hospital with people unable to see him, and with ghosts as his only company?

“Peter, huh?” the man slurred, the drug already having zapped the strength in his limbs as he slumped in the nurse’s hold. “Just call me Wade, for fuck’s sake, kid.” He glanced to the side with a frown. “Shut up, yellow, m’not talking to you, fuuuuck...” Wade’s head fell back as he passed out with one last disturbing giggle.

As they wheeled the man away, the adolescent felt alone again. He had felt relieved to have Wade with him, and hadn’t realized how terrible it was to astral-project (hadn’t even know that’s what it was until the man had cleared things up for him). Now, it was just Peter and the ghosts that felt so cold. He passed one as he left the building and he shivered despite currently not having a body.

The light dimmed as he saw another one and started to panic, and he had to stop and take a deep breath he didn’t need to calm himself. He did this until he could see again, his aura brightening up again as well as the area around him. Then he gathered all his courage and continued his trek back to his hospital room and his body. After what felt like hours upon hours (passing several more ghosts that he’d pointedly ignored), he finally found the right room.

Peter wasn’t really sure what time it was, but when he passed through the door, he saw that he was still alone in the room. The heart monitor was still beeping strongly and the hiss of the breathing machine keeping him alive was the only sound heard. Perhaps they hadn’t been able to get ahold of his aunt yet, but he was sure Mrs, Harold, the widow that lived next door, had his aunt’s emergency contact information.

Then he remembered that the woman had left two days ago to visit her family during the summer. This wasn’t the hospital that his aunt worked at and when he’d been here before, it was usually during the day. That meant that he wasn’t familiar with the night shift nurses, but they should have been able to get his information from his medical bracelet...

Peter groaned as he smacked his forehead when he saw his bare wrist. He didn’t have it on, and remembered that he’d taken it off when he’d had his shower earlier in the day and he must have forgotten to put it back on. His aunt was always chastising him about taking it off, but it bothered him while he was bathing or showering. If he could, he’d always have it off but knew he couldn’t. It listed his asthma and food allergies, as well as the medicine he was allergic to; Penicillin V.

He decided to get inside his body and that way he could wake up and have one of the nurses call his aunt and also give them his information. Peter walked over, floating over toward his body that was attached to all those machines, making him look even tinier. He hated it, how sick he looked and the fear that this would always be his life.

“Back into my sickly body, then,” he sighed, closing his eyes. Nothing happened. His eyes blinked open in shock as he stared down at his body.

He couldn’t get back inside his body!-

#Till I Touch The Sky #Peter Parker #May Parker #Tony Stark #Wade Wilson #Things That Go Knock In The Night series #fanfiction #myfanfiction #name-me-regret #regret writes #regret fanfiction

1 note · View note

windsorgirllove · 5 years

Text

The Prince and The King: Dirk Strider and Kazuaki Nanaki

It may be 4 whole months after the Epilogues came out, but guess what - I’m still thinking about Dirk Strider. And who can blame me, considering… well, everything. Dirk caused a lot of different reactions from everyone, but the way that his character finally clicked for me was watching him take over Jake’s mind and realizing “oh, he’s trying to ‘all will be one with the King’ them”. And then I realized that that would make sense to literally one other person in the whole world, so I decided to write an essay about it. As you do.

Spoilers for Homestuck, including the epilogue, and Hatoful Boyfriend and Hatoful Boyfriend: Holiday Star.

I. Who are these nerds?

For those of you who don’t know, I’ll give a quick summary of these two characters before I start comparing them.

A. Dirk Strider

Dirk Strider is one of the human characters in Homestuck. He is the biological father of Dave Strider and Rose Lalonde, and is an alternate Universe version of Bro Strider. He grew up alone in a post apocalyptic world after an alien queen took over Earth. He is the Prince of Heart and a Derse Dreamer. He is a big gay nerd. In the Homestuck Epilogues, his worst traits come out: his self obsession and his splinter selves that come about due to Heart shenanigans, which led to him making some… morally dubious decisions. By which I mean obtained ultimate power and started rewriting the wills of his friends because “he knows best”. Also he’s aware of the fact he’s in a story now, so he became the narrator. And in one of the timelines present in the Epilogues, he killed himself.

B. Kazuaki Nanaki/The King

Kazuaki Nanaki is a bird featured in Hatoful Boyfriend: Holiday Star. He is a depressed college student studying literature. He fell in love with a boy who ended up pushing him further and further into depression, until the two of them decided to kill themselves. Kazuaki went through with it, his boyfriend did not. He woke up in the afterlife alone and scared. He ends up creating a star from a candle and a chair, which attracts other souls to it’s light. He lured people in because he was lonely, but didn’t want to get hurt again, so he absorbed all the souls into his will, and became the King of the star. And then all the characters end up in the afterlife too, most of whom are still alive, and it’s a whole thing.

So how are they similar? Well, they both are clearly mentally ill, both gay, both killed themselves, both took over the wills of their close friends. Let’s look at their big three narrative similarities: their ascension, their revenge on boyfriends, and their takeovers of will.

II. The Ultimate Self v Kinghood

The Ultimate Self is a concept that was brought up at the end of Homestuck and was explored properly in the Homestuck Epilogues. It seems to be the endpoint for all of the godtiers, wherein they fully realize their Aspect. For example, Rose is ascending as well, and since her aspect is Light (ie knowledge), she gains knowledge of all timelines all at once. Dirk’s aspect, meanwhile, is Heart, which here means soul, so his Ultimate Self is all his splinters combining into one person. (As I sidenote, I wonder how much their classes play into this - Rose is a Seer and is seeing timelines, and Dirk is a Prince and is destroying everyone’s sense of self). It also appears to come along with an awareness of the narrative structure and the fact that they are in the story, which certainly does wonders for the mind. Dirk takes control of it - the narrative, that is - because he believes that he knows best for all his friends.

One thing we know for certain is the ascending fucking hurts. To quote Rose Lalonde: “I am ascending, and it’s terrible.” This process was enough to fully push Dirk over from “has poor judgement and a god complex” to full blown “evil and knows it.” He gains the power to take away the free will of all the other characters, and wants to make them all ascend and then stick their consciousness into robots that he made, because it’s “better” for them. He already carries this plan out with Rose, who he selected to be first because she’s the most like him. Essentially, he wants to make everyone just like him.

Meanwhile, Kinghood seems to have a lot of similarities. Kazuaki seems to gain some reality warping powers once he dies - he is able to transform a room with a candle and a chair into a star with a lighthouse and a throne. He basically makes his world run on fairy tale logic. This extends even to his form. Throughout the game, the characters are represented by photos of birds. However, when Kazuaki is the King, he is rendered in watercolors like the rest of the Holiday Star. Later, when he gets angry, he distorts into a darker colored being with multiple heads, and in his true form he is a monochrome pencil sketch. He also can appear anywhere on the star at any time, because all the residents of the star are under his hivemind. He can control the layout of his home, which is also visible from the outside (in the real world). He can create zones in the star specific to the people within in order to convince them to become one with him. And perhaps scariest of all, he can know the secrets of the people in the star, and toture them with their deepest darkest fear.

So ascending and Kinghood are very similar, except that Kinghood seems to be more in the line of eldritch horror.

III. “I’ll Never Let You Break My Heart Again”

Dirk and Kazuaki also have meaningful romantic relationships with other boys that go super duper bad and end up being their start of darkness. Their whole evil plan can basically be boiled down to getting revenge on the boy who wronged them.

A. Jake

Jake English is the boy that Dirk was in love with. He is from the same universe as Dirk, but from several centuries in the past (which is the present for us). He is the biological father of Jade Harley and John Egbert. He grew up alone on an island in the Pacific, and styles himself as a manly adventurer. Jake and Dirk end up dating when they enter the game, and break up after a few months because they’re dumb teens who can’t communicate and so are all of their friends. In the Epilogues, Jake is unwillingly wed to Jane Crocker, another of their friends, in the Candy Timeline. In the Meat Timeline, Dirk has taken control of the narration and forces Jake to confess his love for Dirk in front of a huge crowd.

B. Uzune

Hitori Uzune was the guy that Kazuaki was in love with. He was a fellow college student at the university Kazuaki was attending, and was similarly fucked up and depressed. He convinces Kazuaki that they should kill themselves, and the two of them overdose on pills. But just as Kazuaki is drifting away Hitori gets up and steals Kazuaki’s identity in order to get revenge for his dead brother. That whole thing is actually the main plot of the game, kinda. Hitori refuses to call an ambulance for Kazuaki even as he changes his mind, and let’s him die.

C. Angry Gay Selfrightousness

So first of all I think we can agree that Kazuaki is a little more valid for going off the deep end here. But they both did have a similar experience in love. Both of them felt deeply betrayed by the boy they loved. Both of them were super pissed about this, and it shows in their supervillain plans. Neither of the are directly setting out to get revenge, but their desire is written all over their actions.

With Dirk, he spends an inordanent amount of time calling Jake stupid while he is posing as the narrator, as well as inserting thoughts about himself into Jake’s mind when he’s about to have sex with Jane. (He’s also just weirdly horny the whole epilogue, in general.) After driving Jake to do his public confession in the Meat timeline, Dirk responds with “And to love Dirk is to obey him” in the narration. And finally, right before he’s about to fuck of to space Dirk plans this epic confrontation that ends with the quote that heads this section.

As for Kazuaki, the whole way he was able to become the King was because of the trauma that Hitori put him through, namely the killing him part. He absorbed people because of not wanting to be left alone again. And once Hitori enters the dream he turns all his focus onto him, blinding him and forcing him into a small pocket of the dream so he can’t hurt anyone again. And even after he is defeated he still reaches out and tries to grab Hitori.

Even when the two of them try to move on, they can’t.

IV. “All Will Become One With the King” - Narrative Takeovers and the Hivemind

In order for there to be a narrative takeover, there has to be a narrative in the first place. And both Homestuck and Hatoful Boyfriend certainly have one, and I don’t mean in the sense that they are a story that we consume. I mean that there is a narrative thread that the characters themselves are aware of.

A. Homestuck “Canon”

Let’s start with Homestuck, which in the Epilogues actually brought the term “canon” into the vocabulary of the characters via one Rose Lalonde. As a Seer and fanfiction writer, it makes sense she would be familiar with it. In the epilogues she discovered that there was something wrong with the timeline they were in - it was “non-canon”. This is different from the timeline being doomed, although it is similar. In both cases it means the timeline in question is fading away.

As defined by Rose, in order for a timeline to be canon, it has to be three things: 1. It has to be true, 2. It has to be essential, and 3. It has to be relevant. True as in true, essential as in essential to the characters or the story, and relevant as in relevant to the audience. Knowledge of the idea of canon seems to come along with ascending to the Ultimate Self, since the only people who know about it are Rose, Dirk, and Alt!Calliope.

Once Dirk ascends and realizes that the timeline they’re in is “non-canon”, he seizes control of the narrative in order to steer it back to canon and stop it from fading away. And once he takes control, he gains the same knowledge that the author would have of all the characters (except for Roxy because of his voidy-ness). He also wants to make everyone else ascend to their Ultimate Selves as well, and then take away their agency. How this worked is that he believes that their bodies wouldn’t be able to handle ascending (even though his did) and he makes them robot bodies because he’s just so nice. And the first people he assimilates are Rose and Dave, his children. And also as I said above, he inserted thoughts into people's heads and made them do things they wouldn’t normally do.

And Dirk taking control of the narrative isn’t an isolated incident, either. The narration has been passed around like a basketball, or more accurately stolen like loose change by a clumsy pickpocket. For the most part it is regulated to the cherubs - Caliborn and Calliope, as well as Doc Scratch - and Andrew Hussie. And that’s not even to mention all the people that give commands to the characters. The fabric of the text is very present in Homestuck.

B. The All Knowing Eyes of the King

The King also tries to take control of the narrative as well, although not in the same way as Dirk. He isn’t aware of the fact that he is in a story in the same way. However, by trying to bring the whole cast into his hive mind he is essentially taking control of the narrative, since whoever controls the characters controls the story. He can’t full on insert thoughts into people’s heads like Dirk, but he can know the secrets of the people in the Holiday Star, similar to Dirk gaining the knowledge of the author. Then he uses a person’s deepest fear to convince them that the world outside is too scary, too dangerous, and it is safer to stay with him. Plus he uses creepy picture books to do it, which is certainly an aesthetic choice.

Two of the best examples of this is how he deals with Shuu and Yuuya. In Shuu’s case, it’s his most effective argument for staying on the Holiday Star - possibly because it is so similar to his own. Shuu was in love with a (married) colleague of his, but never told him, even as he passed away. Being as this was the only person Shuu cared about, he fell into a depression and also started murdering people. The King convinced him that there was nothing more in the real world that he could find a use for - that it would be better if he stayed here, where he could experiment and research forever. It worked so well that it took the ghost of his love to shake him out of it.

On the opposite side of this we have Yuuya. Yuuya was not actually supposed to be on the Holiday Star, but he dove in (basically) in order to save his little brother. And The King probably had the best chance of blackmailing him, because Yuuya has done some shit - including the murder of his infant half-brother. He did this in order to help his little brother, but still, jeez. The King uses this to convince him that he’s a bad person, that he would be better off in the Star, where his guilt couldn’t hurt him anymore. This doesn’t work, mainly because Yuuya is a more emotionally mature person that the King. He refused to be converted, because all the bad things he’s done has made him the person he is today, and to get rid of that would be irresponsible. His whole speech ends with this truly phenomenal quote: “It’s my grief. And you can’t have it.”

V. Conclusion

So, what have I learned from this? Um, don’t trust gay men I guess. And also that mental illness and suicide is a very serious thing. I feel that with this essay I have run into the problem that my professors have told me numerous times - I can identify an interesting point, but I have trouble drawing meaning from this. So if any of you can figure out what this connection means, please let me know! Mostly to me it seems like there are definite links between my favorite stories, and it’s that giving in to despair is not the answer.

VI. Miscellaneous: The Meta of HB - Hiyoko as the Narrator

Hatoful Boyfriend is not quite as meta as Homestuck - nothing really is. But it isn’t the benchmark of weirdness for dating games for nothing. And most of this weirdness revolves around Hiyoko, which makes sense. She is the narrator after all - and I don’t just mean that in the normal story sense. I mean that in the Homestuck sense as well.

Hiyoko is aware of the fact that she is in a game. She makes references to her stats, and is aware of the interface of the screen. She also doesn’t know the name of the town she’s lived in all her life until someone else says it in Holiday Star, because it was never established in the first game. She is also aware of alternate universes of each romance route. Because Hiyoko dies. A lot. She dies in Shuu’s route, in the neutral route, and in the true route. And in Holiday Star (which in it of itself is an alternate universe to the main game) she meets Death and is able to recognize him from all the other times she’s died.

The important thing to get from all this is that unlike Some People, Hiyoko never goes crazy from this fact. She’s in a game, and she knows it, and she’s cool with it. It should probably be pointed out that Hiyoko is dumb as a box of rocks, and with ignorance comes bliss, they say. But still, it is interesting to see an example of a character with meta knowledge who manages to deal with it, instead of going full supervillain.

#homestuck #hatoful boyfriend #homestuck epilogue #hs epilogue #hb #hatoful boyfriend holiday star #dirk strider #kazuaki nanaki #the king (hatoful boyfriend)#hs meta #My writing #she speaks!#six whole pages #be grateful #also let me know what you think!

9 notes · View notes

theaksarben · 7 years

Text

Left Behind, Chapter One

I don’t normally write fanfiction, but here’s an attempt at what I hope will be a much larger story. It was brought on mainly by rewatching Operation Z.E.R.O. and looking at AU fanart for C:KND. So in the end, I decided to throw my collander-helmet into the ring. It’s an AU fic that takes place fairly early in the main series timeline, but takes several creative liberties. Without giving away too much, the Delightful Children From Down The Lane as you know them are absent from this universe.

Fanfiction.net link:

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12399557/1/Left-Behind

Characters: Monty Uno, Numbuh One (A.K.A. Nigel Uno), Numbuh 5 (A.K.A. Abigail Lincoln), Benedict Uno

Set: Pre-Series timeline /AU.

Summary: When the members of Sector V all go missing under mysterious circumstances, it is the families that take it the hardest. Monty Uno finds himself reflecting on the events that led to this tragedy.

“What happened, Nigel-Old-Bean? I was only trying to be your friend…” Monty Uno looked down at the floor as he sat down in what was once his son’s bedroom. He would often do so in his spare time when he wasn’t occupied with his job as a band director at one of the local schools. He read the “Do’s and Don'ts” section of the newspaper religiously, he’d take Nigel out fishing with him, he’d done everything is his power to try and be a better father to Nigel than Pappy was with him. Monty wondered if it had something to do with the incident that happened with Nigel not long ago. He thought back to that very day.

It was an ordinary afternoon. Monty was in the music room directing his students when he received a phone call from the hospital. Dr. Lincoln told him that Nigel was there, and that was all he needed to hear. In a hurry, he quickly dismissed his students and drove straight for the hospital. He found his wife Katherine trying to comfort Dr. Lincoln’s youngest daughter. They were sitting outside the emergency room where Nigel was being operated on. The little girl was bandaged and was shaking terribly. She saw one glance of him and pulled her hat down to cover her eyes.

“I…I…I’m s-s-sorry, Mistah Uno” she sobbed “I tried to help Nigel, b-b-but…” she trailed off and shook again. “Its all my fault” she sniffed and tossed her red hat aside.

“No, no, sweetie, Nigel just had an accident. It wasn’t your fault.” Katherine was trying her hardest to soothe the distressed child and looked up at Monty.

Monty’s heart ached for the little girl; whatever it was that happened to Nigel, he wasn’t going to blame her for it. He kneeled down so he could talk to her at eye level.

“It’s alright,” said Monty “I’m sure you did all you could. You did the right thing bringing Nigel here. I just need to know what happened.” Abby nodded and started to speak.

“Well, I found Nigel, and he was hurt real bad, and…and…” She paused as her mouth suddenly became agape. To Monty it looked like she knew what she wanted to say but something was keeping the words from coming out. Monty was beginning to worry that Abby might need to be hospitalized herself.

“Are you alright dear? Do you need anything?” Abby didn’t speak a word, she just pointed her finger in his direction, shaking. “It’s alright, I’m not upset with you,” he said softly. Abby shook her head furiously and pointed her finger again. Monty was getting nowhere, but he didn’t want to say anything that might upset Abby further. Quickly he changed tactics and put on a smile, and pretended to furrow his eyebrows as if in concentration. “Oh, I know, this is one of those guessing games isn’t it? Oh, don’t tell me…is it something behind me?” he asked. Abby relaxed just a little bit and nodded. She still had a look of terror on her face, but she wasn’t shaking. A ghost of a smile crept across Monty’s face “Now there’s a step in the right direction.” he thought. Now just what or, perhaps who was behind him that was making Abby so uneasy?

He turned around and saw his brother Benedict in his usual dress shirt and suspenders looking at Abby with an annoyed look on his face. Though for a moment, Monty thought he might need his eyes checked. Ben’s eyes seemed to glow like two burning coals behind his spectacles. When Monty blinked, they were their natural blue again. Monty wasn’t sure what it was about his brother that made children so afraid of him. He remembered something similar used to happen with Pappy when he was a boy and figured his brother also had that effect on children. It wasn’t a particularly good explanation, but it was one. There was an awkward silence that felt as if it could be cut with a knife.

“It’s not polite to point, dear.” said Monty as he rose back up to his feet. He turned his attention to the other man. “Hello, Ben. What brings you here?”

Benedict’s annoyed look quickly changed into one of concern.

“Monty, I heard about what happened to Nigel; is he alright?” Monty couldn’t place his finger on it but something wasn’t quite right. Maybe it was that Ben sounded a little too…rehearsed, or maybe it was the fact that Abby was still hiding behind Katherine, but his thoughts were interrupted when Dr. Lincoln came out of the doors.

“Dr. Lincoln do you know if Nigel will be alright?” asked Monty pointedly.

Dr. Richard Lincoln sighed. “Well Monty, it’s a good thing Nigel came here when he did. He’ll probably end up losing his hair, but from what I can tell it could’ve been a lot worse with the bleeding and the scarring and the…awww, you know what Ima’ talking about.” Again, a ghost of a smile crossed Monty’s face. Richard was a good man who always seemed to lift people’s spirits with his upbeat personality. Richard placed a reassuring hand on Monty’s shoulder “He’s gonna be alright.” He turned his attention to Abby, then to her red hat lying on the floor. He picked it up off the floor and placed it back on his daughter’s head. “Nigel will be okay, Abby. Promise you’ll put on a brave face for your Daddy, okay?” His daughter smiled and threw herself into her father’s embrace.

“Katherine, would you mind taking Abby back to your house? I’ll call Cree to walk her home.” Katherine nodded and Monty watched as she led Abby towards the elevator. Abby’s gaze not leaving Benedict who looked back out of the corner of his eye. Monty still couldn’t understand what that was all about.

“Richard, did Abby have anything to say about what happened to Nigel? Abby tried to…” He paused and sniffed the air. “Do you smell smoke?” He turned his attention Benedict who was lighting his pipe, as if he suddenly became disinterested in what was going on. Now it was Richard’s turn to be annoyed.

“You! No pipes near the emergency room! With the second hand smoke, and the threats to sick patients, and the risk of igniting flammable materials, and the awww, you know what Ima’ talkin’ about!” said Richard, who was making several exasperated hand gestures. Part of Monty was trying not to laugh, while the other part was questioning Ben’s sudden shift in attitude again.

Ben quickly snuffed the flame and feigned surprise “Oh goodness, I do apologize Doctor. With all the excitement I needed something to steady my nerves. I’ll go outside. I hope Nigel gets well again soon.” Ben left and Richard went back into the emergency room, leaving Monty all alone…

“Monty? Monty are you awake?”

Monty opened a sleepy eye. Dr. Lincoln was standing in front of him. Monty looked down at his lap and saw a copy of the newspaper sitting in his lap. Last thing he remembered he picked it up to read in a bid to “steady his nerves”, as Benedict put it. It appeared he had done just that and dozed off through Nigel’s operation.

“Well, I am now. Is it about Nigel?” He yawned.

“As a matter of fact, he’s sleeping right now. I can take you in to see him as long as you don’t make any noises.” replied Dr. Lincoln

Monty agreed, trying to put on a brave face for when he finally saw what had become of his son. The last time he had been this nervous was when Nigel was born. While he couldn’t remember part of his childhood for some strange reason, one thing he always remembered was that Pappy was anything but a good father. Sure, as Pappy’s first born, he received more favor, but Monty didn’t recall having it much better than Ben or the other kids. Sure, Monty did the bookkeeping for his father’s business while Ben and the others were working on the factory floor making tapioca (wait, how did Pappy get away with child labor?) Then there was his birthday cake…oh the cake. So delicious, and Pappy always forced him to eat every last bite himself without allowing him to offer it to Ben or the other children… while they were tied to chairs? “I must’ve been having strange dreams while I was sleeping” thought Monty.

While Monty didn’t have many fond memories of Pappy (hazy though they were), he was nervous at the prospect of becoming a father. If Monty’s scattered memories served, that had been when he picked up his habit of reading the “dos and don'ts” section of the paper. Monty wasn’t entirely sure what made his side of the family so dysfunctional, but now he had a chance to break the cycle.

He’d never forget when the doctor directed him to his wife’s room. There, in his wife’s arms was his newborn son, Nigel. Little Nigel was in his wife’s arms, sleeping softly while wrapped in blankets. He was so serene, so innocent, his skin unbroken, a blank canvas, a story yet to be written…

And a sharp contrast to the boy lying in bed before Monty.

His head and left arm were bandaged, his right arm linked to an IV, his breathing ragged, and the only sound besides being the heart monitor’s beep. Monty pulled up a chair next to the bed and carefully held Nigel’s good hand. Just what had happened to his son that left him like this?

Then Nigel jolted up screaming and caused Monty to recoil. The boy looked around frantically screaming the word “Father” repeatedly before a violent cough cut it short. Monty reached to calm his son down. “It’s alright Nigel, I’m here…I’m here” He gently patted his son on the back as he looked up with tears welling in his eyes.

“W-Where am I?” asked Nigel, trembling.

“You’re in the hospital, Nigel. That nice Dr. Lincoln over there operated on you after Abby brought you in” said Monty gesturing to the man. Nigel calmed down a little, but there was still worry etched into his features

“Where is Abby?”

“She went home with your mother. Abby will be all right, Nigel.” Truthfully, Monty wasn’t so sure about that last part, but he didn’t want to worry his son further. Nigel was still tense.

“What about Cree? The others?”

Monty was puzzled. He knew Cree was Dr. Lincoln’s eldest daughter, but these “others” were unknown to him. Friends from school perhaps? He wasn’t quite sure what they had to do with any of this. Dr. Lincoln perked up.

“Oh, I think they were hanging out with Cree before I called her to pick Abby up. But they should be all right. You on the other hand need your rest. With the sleeping, and the snoring, and the…awww you know what Ima’ talkin’ about!” and gave a good-natured laugh. That left Nigel feeling a little better. As Monty was about to leave, the boy was ready to protest. Monty assured him that he’d be back to visit him again tomorrow with his mother.

It was a slow recovery for Nigel. Abby would frequently stop by the hospital after school to check up on the boy and Monty sometimes found them talking about something called the “Kids Next Door”. Though what that was he didn’t know…maybe it was some kind of special club?

Nigel still didn’t like being left alone, especially in the dark. For him, every shadow was large enough to conceal some sort of boogeyman out to snatch him up. Monty remembered when Katherine brought their son a nightlight. The minute she plugged it into the electrical outlet, it bathed Nigel’s nightstand in a red-orange glow. Nigel still seemed tense when he and his wife left despite the light dispelling the sinister shadows. Then one night when Katherine went to plug in the light again, Nigel insisted that he didn’t need it anymore. Monty was pleased at his son’s recovery.

Then, when Nigel finally left the hospital, his personality changed completely. Monty and Katherine were surprised to hear that Nigel wanted to go to a summer camp like Abby. His reasoning was that after talking with Abby, he realized that he couldn’t hide forever. He’d have to rise up and overcome his problems. “I’m only a kid once, Dad.” Katherine and Monty were skeptical, but agreed.

And so Nigel went to summer camp, keeping in touch with his parents every so often, telling them about how Abby had his back and how he had made friends with Chad Dickson from across the street. For a time, it seemed like Nigel was managing to make something positive come out of his accident.

What followed was a rather bizarre turn of events, and that was putting it lightly. Looking back, it was highly likely that the incident that caused Nigel’s hair loss had something to do with it.

He recalled the first warning sign came at the start of the new school year after a boy named Wallabee Beetles moved in. On the boy’s first day of school, Katherine received a phone call from Gallagher Elementary. Nigel had apparently gotten into a scuffle with a group of kids and was covered in bruises. To hear Nigel resort to violence like that was out of character to Monty. When questioned about it, his son claimed he was trying to protect Wallabee because “the Kids Next Door save kids, it’s our job.” Monty didn’t know what this “Kids Next Door” was, but he could tell Nigel had good intentions. So he was firm with Nigel that he should tell a teacher the next time it happens. He tried not to be too harsh on the boy, and called the Beetles residence to invite the family over for dinner.

The dinner was mostly uneventful; Monty tried to remain attentive to Sydney Beetles and his long-winded stories about his job working for that Fulbright fellow from down the street. After that, Nigel and Wally were playing video games and chatting up about Nigel’s kids-on-the-block-or-whatever-it-was until it was time for desert. Liza Beetles was talking to Katherine about how she couldn’t remember the last time she had seen her son play with another child.

Nigel and Wallabee were kindred spirits as far as Monty could tell. Both were kids from foreign countries who felt alone in the world. Perhaps it was fate that they both found each other, much like how it seemed when Nigel himself met Hoagie Gilligan in kindergarten.

Monty himself had also hit it off with Sydney Beatles over their mutual love of “footy”. He was sorry when the family had to leave, but offered the invitation to pop over for a visit whenever they liked. Monty decided that perhaps some good could come out of Nigel’s little club.

Then there was the time Nigel had been invited to Kuki Sanban’s birthday party. Nigel didn’t think too much of it at the time. Kuki was a bubbly little girl and had invited their whole homeroom. But as Monty would later learn from Nigel: most of the other kids wouldn’t give her the time of the day. When Monty brought Nigel with him to the party, he was amazed by how extravagant the whole affair was. Monty wouldn’t admit it, but he and Ben were very much children of “old money”. Whereas Ben would flaunt his wealth in that fancy mansion he lived in down the lane, Monty chose to live a more modest lifestyle. When he talked with Genki Sanban, she spoke with a sad smile how she wanted to give her daughter nothing short of the sun and the moon. She was born into a much lower social class than Monty, and had to work her way to the top as a C.F.O. for a Fortune 500 company.

When Monty looked over to her daughter, it was clear something was amiss. Kuki’s party had everything a child could want: bouncy castles, a large birthday cake, colorful balloons, and all the presents she could ever want. Yet Kuki was sitting all by herself while the other kids were playing. It seemed like there was one thing Kuki wasn’t getting for her birthday. When he looked back, he noticed Nigel wasn’t at his side any more. Somehow the boy had slipped away from his sight and was walking towards Kuki with his brightly wrapped gift box.

Even Kuki was surprised to see Nigel go out of his way to seek her out and personally wish her a happy birthday without prompting. She was very happy when she saw her present: a bright red Rainbow Monkey (though Monty couldn’t truly tell one of these dolls from the other). Next thing Monty knew, Kuki was hugging Nigel and all but cutting off his oxygen (not that his son seemed to mind too much). It wasn’t long after that Nigel introduced her to Hoagie, Wally, and Abby. And so Kuki ended up getting the one thing she really wanted for her birthday after all.

When Nigel met Hoagie P. Gilligan Jr. in kindergarten, the two were inseparable. Monty had the boy to thank for giving Nigel a mild interest in hobby kits. Though, if the still unfinished one on his desk was anything to go by, Nigel didn’t have the knack for building that he did designing. Whenever they were building models from scratch, it was always Nigel who drew out the designs with pencils, crayons, or whatever else they could find. But it was Hoagie who always saw the designs through to completion. It wasn’t unusual to see Nigel in his bedroom with Hoagie, a mound of crumpled papers, and several schematics sprawled across the floor. Nigel and Hoagie called them “two-four-technobobs” or something of the sort.

Monty thought back to the time when they tried to sneak some of Katherine’s cookies from the kitchen before dinner. Monty had a particularly taxing practice session with the band students (that sousaphone player’s sharps were awfully flat). He was surprised when he walked in the house and saw Nigel and his friend ducking behind the kitchen wall with a remote control. Monty looked up and saw they were controlling a modified toy plane with a claw attached to the bottom. Nigel looked over at Monty and quickly shushed him before he could speak. Monty decided there was no harm in watching his son’s attempts and gave the boy an encouraging wink. After all, not even he succeeded in sneaking one of his wife’s cookies before dinner.

Monty watched as Hoagie pressed a button and lowered the claw to grab the lid of the cookie jar. He was certainly impressed when the boy operated the toy with such skill as to lift the lid off without alerting Katherine, who was busy preparing to boil some asparagus. Though Hoagie didn’t succeed at getting a hold of even one cookie before Katherine caught them with the claw in the cookie jar. Quickly, the boys withdrew the plane and made a hasty retreat up the stairs. Katherine called up to them cheekily applauding their creativity for the failed attempt. It looked to Monty like it would be back to the drawing board for Nigel and Hoagie. Parents one, kids zero.

And of course, Monty would be remiss if he didn’t mention Abby Lincoln. Abby had become something of a safety net among their group of friends, especially for Nigel ever since his accident. While Nigel was the leader of the pack as far as Monty could tell, Abby was the second in command. She still hadn’t forgiven herself for what happened to Nigel, no matter how many times everyone else insisted it wasn’t her fault. Abby was a good girl, an honor student, and sometimes left Monty wondering why she wasn’t the leader. There was the time Nigel was screaming about how they were under attack by “kid-eating leeches”. The other kids went along with Nigel, though it was unclear whether it was because they believed him or were just humoring him as his friends. Nonetheless, Abby convinced Nigel that he was just imagining things and explained that it was just snowing. Which brought Monty to his next point.

His son became far more paranoid. Looking back, there was a connection: everything seemed to happen all at once after whatever incident caused Nigel to lose his hair. Though what this incident was, Monty could never get a straight answer from his son.

Nigel still trusted Dr. Lincoln, for all of his bluster. But every other doctor was met with great suspicion. Monty remembered the attempt to file a restraining order against Nigel by that one doctor the boy was spying on. He knew his son could get carried away, but surely a restraining order on a kid was a bit excessive. But Nigel was still convinced that all other doctors were up to anti-kid activity. Every shot he was given was an attempt to infect him with all manner of toxins. Not toxins to stimulate immune responses, just regular toxins to poison him. He thought back to the recent fiasco with that Dr. Sharpe fellow. Katherine regaled Monty with one of Nigel’s fantasies about the doctor chasing him like some big-game hunter. Granted, that same doctor ended up being arrested for quackery and was ousted by an anonymous individual as a criminal named Chester Banks. Alright, Monty would let Nigel have that one.

Then Nigel ranted about how every dentist trying to implant sub-molar tracking devices. Nigel like most kids was suspicious of dentists, and Katherine blamed it on watching too many cartoons. Then that same week the local dentist, a man named Jasper Jelly, was found on the floor the dentist’s office with several of his teeth missing. The police thought it looked like they had been punched out. It turned out that Jelly was working as an unlicensed dentist by day, and by night he ran around in a strange costume calling himself “Knightbrace.” The man made himself out to be one of those American comic book superheroes like Major Glory or Vallhallen. Of course, many would describe Jelly’s actions as anything but heroic. Among the other things he did, Jelly performed forceful (and often painful) dental procedures on random children. The real dentist, Dr. Sigmund Teeth, was later rescued from a broom closet, having been bound and gagged by the self-proclaimed “Enamel Avenger.” Teeth was unable to confirm the identity of his rescuer, but gratefully extended a free checkup as token of appreciation over the local news before the anchors cut him off.

First there was that Chester character, now Jelly. It had to be a coincidence, Monty told himself at the time. Dentists were supposed to be out to help children. He couldn’t understand why so many, including Nigel, thought that they delighted in nothing more than torturing them. Not that this Jelly character would help Monty’s case, though. What was this town coming to?

And then there was the day Katherine told him about how she had received another phone call from Gallagher Elementary. Nigel’s history teacher, Mr. Frybingle (such a silly name), complained that he disrupted class to rant about how the buzzing fluorescent lights were “adult-microwave-cranial-jellifiers turning children’s brains into milkshakes.” Monty tried not to laugh at this one in front of his wife. Nigel had a vivid imagination…Monty thought that might make a good science fiction story. “You need to do something about this, Monty. No son of mine is going to disrupt class with some rigmarole!” She rolled the “r” sounds and waved her hands for emphasis. While Katherine was clearly bemused, he on the other hand, was very amused. Nonetheless, he decided to humor his wife. Monty suggested that Nigel might improve his behavior if he got to know his family a little better. Katherine agreed.

So Monty took Nigel with him to visit Pappy at the Surewood Retirement Home on Saturday. He remembered when he first introduced Pappy to his new grandson. Nigel cried like any other infant, but Monty didn’t think too much of it then. Katherine calmed the child and everything was fine. Now when Nigel saw the man, he looked almost…unnerved by Pappy. He wasn’t overly afraid, but he cringed slightly whenever Pappy tried to pat him on the shoulder. Nigel looked at the man like he was a terrible demon ready to steal his soul (Not that Pappy could tell.) Monty never really liked visiting the man much anyway. He almost wondered why he still bothered doing that. Monty shook his head and watched Nigel run off to meet his schoolmate Hoagie Gilligan, who was visiting his grandmother.

When visiting hours were over, it was raining so hard that Monty could barely see the road in front of him. Monty called his wife to tell her that they were going to stop for cheeseburgers on the way home until the storm blew over. Nigel was quiet, and didn’t seem to respond to Monty’s attempts at conversation. He put on the car radio and tried playing a game of “twenty questions”, but to no avail.

They walked into the restaurant, got their table and went through the motions. Nigel ate his bacon cheeseburger quietly, and didn’t respond much beyond simple yes or no questions. Monty decided to order the signature ice cream bombs for dessert. Blurpleberry for himself and for Nigel, his favorite flavor of pistachio. Nigel picked at his dessert, which worried Monty. Normally the dessert was his favorite part of the meal. “Now Nigel-Old-Bean, I’ll confess that I don’t much like visiting Pappy anymore than you do, but it wasn’t all bad was it?” he asked. Nigel mumbled something under his breath that Monty couldn’t understand. “I’m sorry, son, could you please repeat that?”

“You don’t believe me, do you?”

“Eh, what?” asked Monty “What is it that I don’t I believe you about”

“About the dentists, the shots, the fluorescent lights, adult tyranny, everything!” Nigel stopped short when he realized the waiter was looking at him surprised before setting the bill on the table and leaving. Mortified, Nigel slunk back in his chair.

“Surely all adults can’t be ‘tyrannical'…there’s me for example!”

“But you’re my dad, of course you’re not!”

Part of Monty was pleased that in spite of whatever happened to Nigel, he still trusted his father…at least that’s how he interpreted it. Though he would never admit it to Nigel, he had noticed a spike in crimes targeted at children in the paper during the last few months. There was nothing in the “Do’s and Don’t’s” section of the paper to prepare him on how to broach the subject to his son. So Monty decided that he would try being frank with Nigel.

“Look Nigel, I know you have a lot of fun with your 'kids-on-the-block’ buddies, but…”

“Kids Next Door” corrected Nigel.

“Right, right. And I know things are…shall we say…topsy-turvy?” Nigel’s expression darkened. Monty had to react quickly and hoped whatever he said next wouldn’t upset his soon too much. “But understand, Nigel-Old-Bean, there is an adult right in front of you who wants to help you very much. But you have to tell me first, instead of flying of the handle and…oh dear” Only now had Monty just realized what he had done when he saw Nigel looking down at the ground.

“I’ll go wait in the car” said Nigel.

Without another word, Monty unlocked the car outside and his son walked out into the pouring rain. He made a mental note to write a letter to the editor for The Daily Neighbor.

Nigel was becoming more and more distant now, even from his own family. Sure there, was their annual family vacation to Hap-Happyland, and even in his current state Nigel couldn’t resist riding the rollercoasters. But then there were times when he’d go out and seemed like he’d rather be somewhere else. Nigel was now going out of his way to avoid going fishing, something they both used to enjoy so much together. And sometimes when he did go, one of his “kids on the block” buddies would interrupt their quality time and Nigel would just leave.

At first, Monty figured it was all a great game of pretend like how children would pretend to be Yipper or a Pretty Princess Rainbow Monkey on the playground. He offered to join the game once, suggesting that he could be “Numbuh Zero” to Nigel’s “Numbuh One”(why did that seem so significant?) In any case, this was met with a response about how there are no adults in the kids-on-the-block and Monty relented. It was all fun at first, but Nigel continued to become more and more distant.

Then, when his schoolwork started to take a turn for the worst, Katherine decided it was time to intervene. So she looked into finding a child psychologist for Nigel, figuring it might help them work out what was wrong with their son.

And finally, came That Day.

That Day, Katherine took Nigel to the psychologist, and despite initial protests had relented at the promise of pistachio ice cream. After Nigel was directed to the doctor’s office, that was when things went wrong.

Katherine had been in the waiting room when she heard a loud crash and Nigel’s scream. She told the police she ran into the office and found it was set alight. The last thing she claimed to see before being knocked out by the smoke was Nigel in the clutches of a strange man. When she was asked what the man looked like, she said his face was shadowed despite the whole room being illuminated by the fire. By the time the fire department got there, the fire was already put out and everyone inside evacuated safely. Monty hurried over as soon as he heard the news and felt his heart shatter when he saw Katherine clutching Nigel’s favorite sunglasses, now cracked and scorched. Any leads the police could’ve used were lost in the fire, and there was a very distinct possibility that if Nigel wasn’t already dead… Monty didn’t want to even think about that.

One of the witnesses went on the local news and provided a testimony that supported Katherine’s version of the events. He also claimed to have seen a group of little people wearing samurai armor and combat fatigues facing the “shadowed man”. Almost no outlets, not even the local newspaper covered the events in depth. A few of the seedier publications had ran with this version of the story and added that these “little samurai people” were using household appliances modified into weaponry to fight Nigel’s captor before being knocked out themselves. Of course, these were the same tabloids that claimed there were multiple sightings of the Grim Reaper in a town called Endsville. Then again, even a broken clock was right twice a day. That same witness was later hospitalized after his house exploded due to a gas leak in the night. All sorts of rumors had begun cropping up about how this “shadowed man” might be behind it or that it was some pyromaniac who escaped from the happy hotel wanting vengeance on the town.

The next day, Senator Samuel Safely called Monty and Katherine to an emergency assembly at the school gymnasium. Safely, who would normally fret over every potential threat to kids, became dead serious now that an actual threat had surfaced. Safely urged all children to keep their eyes open for any suspicious characters and never talk to strangers before opening the floor to the Unos. Katherine nodded and took the microphone.

“Please children, if you see any sign of Nigel, please tell us. We just want to see our son come home safe and sound.” Monty remained silent and nodded in agreement. He spotted Abby and the rest of Nigel’s friends among the crowd. Wally and Kuki were holding hands and trying to comfort one another. Hoagie was still like a statue, and any emotion in his eyes hidden by his aviator goggles. Abby’s head was held low at first, but then surprised Monty by looking directly at him from the bleachers. He couldn’t tell from where he was standing, but it looked like Abby was mouthing something to him.

“I’ll find him”

Abby and the others wouldn’t be coming home from school that day.

And so the police now had four more missing child cases to solve on top of Nigel. At first, the police told the parents to keep close to the phone. Since there was a kidnapper, there was a possibility that it could’ve been a ransom case. Within a few days and no calls, the police began looking for the body, rather than the child. After a few more weeks of investigating, the police declared Nigel a cold case, and told Monty and Katherine to assume the worst.

To make matters worse, Benedict’s mansion had burned down the night after Abby and the others went missing. No trace of the man’s body was found in the ruins, but Monty’s hopes weren’t high. While he had never been particularly close to his younger brother, he couldn’t handle losing him, too. More rumors of the “shadowed man” and his involvement surfaced, but Monty didn’t pay much attention to them.

The car ride home from the police station went on for what felt like an eternity. Katherine remained silent with her head held low while Monty kept his eyes on the road. Neither of them spoke a word as they entered their silent home.

He looked over at a pile of newspapers on his doorstep. Not one issue of the paper held any information about what to do when your child was abducted…

Then Monty looked up. The large tree fort above their house cast a shadow over the married couple, as if it were trying to protect them. And if they knew what would await them all in the coming days, they were going to need it.

On his way upstairs, Monty peered into in Nigel’s room, looking around at his possessions. A blue Rainbow Monkey from when he was little, a model kit on his desk that would remain unfinished, his telescope and a large number of other items. What caught Monty’s eye was an old family photo. It had been taken on their first vacation to Hap-Happy Land as a family. Back when Nigel still had his hair and was sitting on Monty’s shoulder’s looking like he was having the time of his life…what happened? There was a distinct possibility that it would be now and forever unknown.

But it wasn’t enough.

#Codename: Kids Next Door #Fanfiction #au #numbuh one #numbuh five #sector v #abigail lincoln #monty uno #nigel uno #father #chapter one #left behind #fathers #sons

5 notes · View notes

dadzawa-adopt-dabi · 3 years

Note

1-35 on fanfic asks

1. From one to five stars, how would you rate your writing? (No downplaying yourself!)

2 stars maybe? Im not great and i forget a lot of things. but no one can stop me from writing and i enjoy it. the more i do it the more i may like my own writing one day

2. Why do you write fanfiction? Fanfiction is everything to me. It was a matter of time until i started writing it seriously for myself.

3. What do you think makes your writing stand out from other works?

Literally nothing. I tend to go off with ships and specific things i want represented... but thats it. anyone can write.

4. Are there any writers that inspire you?

Always! so many! the best thing about fanfiction is how it builds upon itself and spreads!

5. What’s the fic you’re most proud of?

Im very proud of Secret Baby/ River run. Its large and a mess and i hate it. But im proud ive done it. A completed one im proud of is "Compress said its his turn on the murder screen" i think i did well with that one and kept the tone I wanted.

6. What element of writing do you find comes easily?

Arguments between characters and having them express themselves other ways.

7. What element of writing do you struggle with most?

It's the making up and posting works i struggle with. Along with editing which is another monster.

8. Which character(s) do you find easiest to write?

I do love the murder boys! Dabi, Itachi, Deidara, Naruto (should have killed everyone), Reno. If theyve got issues i love them!

9. Which character(s) do you find most difficult to write?

happy characters. I just don't know what to do with them. Like a domestic setting with no action? nope not for me!

10. What’s your favorite genre to write for?

Hurt/comfort has always been my jam!

11. Who or what do you find yourself writing about most?

im not entirely sure? I havent been really writing/posting that long.

12. Tell us about a WIP you’re excited about.

Expectations! its a collaboration i'm working on with a friend and a DabiHawks fanfiction again! It's a fic where they fall in bed together before they even like each other. A lot of assumptions are made and not a lot of talking gets done until quite a bit of Damage has been done. Hawks finds out that Dabi's been doing some things he wasnt comfy with just because he didnt know how to tell Hawks and because he was attached to him. It's messy and won't get less so.

interesting to write to say the least because im such a Zero tolerance person.

13. First fandom you ever wrote for?

Naruto lol

14. What’s your favorite fandom to write for?

part of my heart will always belong to naruto. can't leave it. But im enjoying writing for bnha immensely!

15. What’s the weirdest fandom you’ve ever written for?

Food Fantasy! a video game i did a short one shot on last october!

16. Any guilty pleasure trope(s)?

Soulmate au's! Omegaverse! I love tropes! Oh! Hanahaki!

17. A trope you’ll never, ever write for.

none.

18. Wildest fic you’ve ever written?

I wouldn't say ive done anything too wild?

19. Do you prefer canon-compliant, AUs, or something in-between?

get canon away from me! i love au's! any and all!

20. Gen fic or shippy stuff?

both!

21. Favorite pairing to write for? (platonic or romantic!)

currently its DabiHawks! i love my enemies to lovers! (everyone deserves compassion lave and basic decency)

22. Do you listen to anything while you write?

Sometimes! some fics have specific playlists!

23. Do you prefer prompts and challenges, or completely independent ideas?

All of the above! i dont know how to put wips back lol!

24. One-shots or multi-chaptered works?

I like one shots better but the amount of effort for multichapter fics is something else tbh!

25. Have you ever daydreamed about side adventures/spin-offs from your fic? Tell us about them!

Yes a few times brought on by comments! What if Hawks ran in to Dabi early on or if Dabi had stayed and talked to Hawks the last night they spent together. None of it ever really goes well? Dabi has no support besides his Significant Other in both of these and i dont like that.

26. Is there anything you’ve wanted to write, but you’ve been too scared to try?

Nope! Ive been getting the hang of NSFW and i feel like that's one of my biggest areas to improve on!

27. What’s the nicest comment you’ve ever received?

any! seriously i love comments! telling me to write more or that i forgot something was done 6 chapters ago or a string of emoji's!

28. How well do you handle criticism when it comes to your writing?

Much better than I used to!

29. Have you ever gone outside of your comfort zone for a fic? How did it turn out?

Every time i post lol. Im pretty comfortable with a variety of things! there's been times in this roleplay i participate in that i was very uncomfortable with how my character was acting but that was the entire point and it turned out well considering the outrage he kept causing!

30. Tooth-rotting fluff or merciless angst?

Best of both! ive also taken a shine to writing things that out of story context are fluff but in context are horrendous angst!

31. Do you have any OCs? Tell us about them!

Nope! I don't really do Oc's!

32. Summarize a random fic of yours in 10 words or less.

Secret Baby/ River Run- Dabi gets pregnant and runs away. Hawks is the father.

33. Is there anything you wish your audience knew about your writing or writing process?

I've had such a kind fantastic audience but i wish they would pay some more attention sometimes to why i have characters do things the way they do. Hawks leaves Dabi alone? theres a reason for that and the awnser is not to stalk him. even for Dabi's saftey.

34. Copy and paste an excerpt you’re particularly fond of.

Dabi dosen't meet Rumi like expected. He expected to just get taken out by her in a fight one day, if they met at all. Not him cleaning his torn staples in Hawks bathroom after he's been shoved in there, Rumi having interrupted a blowjob and Hawks had roughly shoved him in his bathroom. He couldn't hear much of the conversation going on outside. But what he could made his face burn with embarrassment as he tried to put himself together. The fact that she was also a Hero and Hawks best friend made him nervous. What a great first impression, sucking her best friends dick with a bloody face. -" NOT DATING-" Hawks voice broke through for a moment and then quieted. -"I DON'T GIVE A DAMN IF HE'S A VILLAIN KEIGO, HE WAS JUST GIVING YOU A BLOWJOB THERE IS NO ." There was a loud thump as Rumi was yelling and Dabi let himself flinch here in private. She quieted down soon after she had started yelling. Dabi sat down against the sinks cupboard and rested his head on his knees. Waiting for it to stop and Hawks to kick him out. He wouldn't actually get to meet Rumi as Keigo's, well as Keigo's anything. It was just sex between them on Hawks end anyways. There's stomping towards the door and Dabi scrambles up as he resists the urge to lock the door. To lock himself inside like a child thinking it will save him from Enjis rath. Hawks is.... he's not kind to Dabi, but he's not Enji either. The door opens and Rumi's gaze finds him as he's getting up. He ducks his head and gives a little half hearted wave, not sure what she's doing. Why she's looking at him with a gaze much softer than expected. "Hey. Sorry I walked in on you guys. I'm Rumi. Hawks best friend he's been hiding away from you." "I uh. Um. Dabi? I go by Dabi. I think it's more like I'm just his dirty little secret." He gives a small dry chuckle and a smirk, a tad on the mean side like he did with Keigo. It came out a little to real and he winced. He sounded like a whiny asshole, he thought as he kept his gaze on his bare toes digging into the tile. "Dabi, I doubt Keigo thinks of you like that." Rumi reaches her hand out and Dabi tenses in anticipation of her grabbing him. To harm him maybe? To throw him in cuffs? Out of Keigo's apartment but he has no doubt that he will be there soon enough after Rumi leaves. "Its fine. I'm just a villain he can sleep with ya know?" Rumi gets a determined look in her eye as she draws her hand back, having noticed him tense up. "I'm going to give you my number Dabi. Villains don't any resources and I don't like how Hawks treated you when I walked in. If anything happens, I want you to have a way out. I don't think you've told your friends who your sleeping with. Or you would have teleported out of here." Dabi hands his phone over still in shock to Rumi and she gently takes it. She's still super confident in person but, there's no violence or anger from her. Its... suprising.

35. Ramble about any fic-related thing you want!

Dabi and Hawks can both have issues and have to put in some serious effort to not only see those issues, but work together with them. this has been a PSA.

#dabihawks #bnha #mha

6 notes · View notes

sensitivitysensitivity · 6 years

Text

books i read summer 2018!

so, here’s all of the books that i read over the time of like, end of may to august, including my star rating as well as a short synopsis and a brief little paragraph about what i thought about it while i watch comedians in cars getting coffee. don’t read my reviews if you don’t want ANY spoilers. the reviews aren’t spoilery, it just has some hints to the end and such.

i. the hate u give by angie thomas

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

the hate u give is about a young african american girl named starr who is present when her childhood best friend is tragically murdered in an unwarranted act of police brutality, and how she finds her voice and the strength to speak out about the matter of police brutality with the support of her family and friends, as well as finding out who her real supporters are.

i adored this book with every last bit of my heart. the characters are absolutely hysterical, as well as strong and inspiring. i even loved starr’s stereotypical white boyfriend (who is being played by KJ Apa in the film adaption coming out this year and i literally yelled). i loved the way the book incorporated social media and such without making it seem as if teenagers are simply media obsessed. it really showed many different perspectives and sides to arguments that make you think, as well as inspire you to stand up for something you believe in.

ii. emergency contact by mary h.k choi

★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆

emergency contact follows two college students who are seemingly lost in life, dealing with issues in their respective lives, who meet under strange and awkward circumstances, and take a liking to one another and start a friendship that consists almost entirely of text messages as they help one another through their woes of life, and develop feelings for one another cause yanno its a YA romance.

i didn’t NOT enjoy this book, but it wasn’t my favorite. i found penny’s character kind of annoying, and really rude sometimes, and i didn’t really love her dynamic with any of the characters, including sam who is the guy she is texting throughout the book. i really liked how realistic it was, kind of giving a real look into how life works i guess? i thought sam’s storyline with his ex girlfriend was incredibly dramatic and unneeded and it frustrated me, and the end of the story literally wasn’t affected at all by that storyline, it was just not needed. at all. like the ending was like cute and sam was cool but it was just kinda not as good as everyone online said it was. if it would’ve ended differently it would’ve gotten two stars lol.

iii. every day by david levithan

★ ★ ★ ★ ☆

every day is the story of a genderless character that goes by the name of a, who jumps around from body to body every day into the life of somebody else, but they meet a girl, rhiannon, while in someone else’s life and they fall in love with her, and they then spend every day finding ways back to her

that was real hard to explain okay, but i really, really enjoyed this book. i found some aspects a little repetitive and it took some time to get to the point, but it was such a sweet story, and i loved getting to know each of the characters that a used as a host, and i enjoyed figuring out which characters that i liked more. i also liked the slight thrill of the kid who is trying to get a caught, as well as the ‘reverend’ who has the same condition as a, but learns to control it. i usually don’t like an open ending, but i liked this one since it implies a goes away to find out how to control himself and get back to rhiannon. overall i enjoyed it, and it was fun to read and get to know the characters, but i gained nothing from reading it because the ending was open and it felt like there was no actual point. i don’t know it was good.

iv. play me backwards by adam selzer

★ ★ ☆ ☆ ☆

play me backwards is a really freaking weird story about the misadventures of leon who finds out his childhood girlfriend is possibly going to come visit, and is pushed down a rabbit hole of weird tasks he is sent to do by his best friend stan, who apparently is actually satan, such as finding the white grape slushee, date a popular girl, and listen to the full audio book of moby dick, all the while spending almost all of his time at the run down ice cream shop he works at. honestly that’s the best i can do the book is super freaking strange?

the weird thing about this book is that i actually really enjoyed reading it, and i actually really liked the character of leon, but i genuinely had no idea what the hell was going on the entire time. he was just kind of running around, like messing around with his girlfriend he didn’t like, thinking about some british girl, and being a lowkey satanist. like i have no idea what the point was, i honestly don’t even know what it was about. leon was a relatable character and he was funny, and i enjoyed his point of view, but the book was bad. the idea sucked and i felt like i was wasting my time reading it. but i had a fictional crush on leon and the ending like kinda forced itself into having a point, even though it was a stretch, so two stars only for leon. but i liked it. i don’t know.

v. eliza and her monsters by francesca zappia

★ ★ ★ ★ ☆

eliza and her monsters is about a young girl, eliza, who writes/draws a world renound web comic, monstrous sea, but remains completely anonymous except to her three best online friends and her family, but then she befriends the new student at school, wallace, and she finds out he is that he is the most popular fanfiction writer for her webcomic, she finds it harder and harder to keep her secret as she falls in love.

so i read this book in ONE NIGHT. it was really good, and never failed to entertain me. i couldn’t blame eliza for falling in love with wallace cause girl i did too. he was such a cute character and so were her internet friends, and so were all the characters and i loved reading all of the little snipits of the webcomic, it was just adorable, and their love was adorable, and it was just adorable. plus it really puts a nice look on mental illness, and im not talking about eliza, wallace had extreme anxiety and it was very real and i really appreciated it. took away a star because eliza pissed me off on multiple occasions and i found her annoying a lot. other than that rEally great.

vi. i’ll give you the sun by jandy nelson

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

i’ll give you the sun is told from the perspective of twins noah and jude during two very separate periods of time in their lives, jude telling her story at age sixteen and noah at age thirteen, as they go through life, and falling in love, and family secrets and tragedies as the grow apart and back together.

okay so i didn’t know how to explain this without spoiling it completely, but WOW i loved this book. i genuinely couldn’t decide if i liked noah or jude’s story better, and finally decided on the answer being BOTH. it was so good, so emotional, noah and brian made me sob and so did jude and oliver, and i loved the characters and all the revelations they had and im just rambling and i feel like im making no sense but jesus, this book was amazing and the story was just so absolutely amazing. not a single flaw in this book. absolutely amazing OH ! MY ? GOD! absolute favorite of the summer.

vii. the absolutely true diary of a part time indian by sherman alexie

★ ★ ★ ★ ☆

the absolutely true diary of a part time indian is the critically acclaimed novel about a teenage boy, junior, who had many medical issues who lives in an indian reservation, but decides that he is destined for greater things and decides to transfer to the “white school”, and he faces many challenges such as finding his place at this school and the backlash of the other members of the reservation.

it was very difficult for me to like this book, at first because of the fact that i read it for school, but then ONLY for the fact that i found out about the sexual assault charges against the author, and im so upset i bought the book and essentially supported the author before i was aware olf that, but that doesn’t change that i had to read this for school, and that i actually liked it. it was very aware of racism and a lot of racial stereotypes and provided very raw experiences and the drawings were fun to read. i don’t really wanna go on cause i don’t wanna praise it too much, but i took away a star cause sometimes i found it repetitive and some things simply didn’t have a point, but i liked it.

viii. a semi-definitive list of worst nightmares by krystal sutherland

★ ★ ★ ★ ☆

this book tells the odd story of esther solar, who believes her whole family is cursed by Death, and whatever fear that cripples them throughout life will kill them. but the curse is threatening the life of her twin brother, eugene, she decides to face every fear she has written down on her list of things she must avoid so she never has to face the curse herself, with the help of an unlikely friend, to lure Death to them and reverse the curse.

so that summary probably little to no sense at all. because the book itself is so difficult to explain, but i actually really enjoyed it. it took me a while to read it, but i loved it. esther was a real character, with so many real flaws, and her ‘friend’ jonah who helped her overcome all of her fears, really brought out the best parts of her, as well as bringing light to the nature of abuse. the book dealt with a lot of real problems, such as mental illness, and does it in such a lovely and sensitive way, but without holding back, as well as showing someone who seemingly had no hope, get better, which i find amazing. the only reason i took a star away was because so many parts dragged on and i got bored sometimes, but overall, it was a great read with so many great characters and it was very whimsical and enjoyable!

ix. crazy rich asians by kevin kwan

★ ★ ★ ★ ☆

crazy rich asians follows rachel chu and her boyfriend nick young as he brings her home to his ‘crazy rich’ family that he hasn’t prepared her for at all, and essentially don’t approve of her, as well as it follows everyone in nick’s extended and immediate family as well as some family friends and their extravagant lifestyles as well as all the drama that comes with being that freaking rich.

okay i adore this book. it was absolutely amazing, and i could barely begin to tell you all of the amazing characters and storylines, each one more interesting and intricate and extravagant than the next. i loved the representation, and accurate representation at that, of the asian culture. it was just great. other than being somewhat hard to follow at times with the constant perspective change, i loved it. the movie was rlly good too lol.

x. the kissing booth by beth reekles

★ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

the kissing booth is the absolutely dreadful story of a young girl, elle evans, and her best friend, lee flynn, as they plan a kissing booth for their high schools fundraiser (for what? i have no clue) and elle ends up kissing her best friends older brother, noah flynn, and by a strange turn of events they fall into a forbidden (because lee makes the rules ig) romance.

really ended off the summer GREAT with this one! it sucked, it was horrible. there were actual, typos? in the book? it was incredibly sexist, literally making elle seem like a piece of property, and theres MULTIPLE occasions of sexual assault that is glossed over. in fact, the best friend lee assaults her (slapping her butt without permission) and when someone ELSE assaults her he says “no one is allowed to do that but me” thats reason ENOUGH. it’s gross how they both try and control her, and its honestly just bad. the story is all over the place, and it feels like a wattpad book, because it literally is, and i payed six dollars for it. so the jokes on me ig.

0 notes