#no cool makeup this time bc this was after work

[splorpo]

these pants are insane i look like a barbie doll

[mariatesstruther]

ooooooo i have a fic idea

[housepixie]

moving every single piece of furniture in my apartment around because i am doing great in the head rn

[amanda-ammamnda-amndada-admadna]

I hate that it’s 6:30am rn and this is the last time I’m going to be able to lay down until like 9pm

[lxvemaze]

txt bf! headcanons

pairing: ot5!txt x reader

tags: fluff !!

warnings: n/a

a/n: if ya'll liked this, i'd appreciate a like and reblog!! i love you all!!

more under the cut!

⚝soobin

literally a romcom boyfriend. he does all the things you thought you'd only see in a romance movie; he opens doors for you, doesn't let you pay for dinner, gives you flowers, and walks you to your door at the end of a date. and he does it all with a smile on his face. BC HE LOVES TO DO IT!! he loves to make you feel loved! plus, your family loves him!! he's the type of boyfriend that any mom would want their kid to have! would 100% buy your mom flowers before meeting her for the first time and wins her over immediately! if you two end up living together, he'd looove to make dinner for you. even if he's not the greatest at cooking, he'd try his hardest to master all your favorite dishes. if you two ever fight, he will not want either of you to leave or go to bed until you get it resolved. he hates fighting with you :(( soobin is THE dream boyfriend.

⚝yeonjun

he's the boy that your family would be wary of at first, but end up loving him as one of their own. even you think that he's too cool for you at first- but you find out pretty quickly that he's just a silly guy. loves to go shopping with you! we all know how much yeonjun loves fashion, so im convinced that this would be one of his favorite pastimes with you! if you're not super into fashion, he'd love to pick out outfits for you! and if you are into fashion, he'd love to experiment and share a wardrobe with you! i think he'd like to just lounge around the house with you! watching tv, laying in bed, showering together, whatever! he just likes to be near you :)

⚝beomgyu

dating beomgyu, you'd literally be attached at the hip with him. he's like a puppy when he hears you grab your keys, he comes running over like, "where you going? what are you doing? can i come?" like, broski, you're just going to the store???? along with that, he'll just yap at you 24/7. he'll be talking to you, and if you need to pee or smth, you just stand up and go to the bathroom bc you know he'll just follow you in there and sit on the edge of the tub while you're peeing and he's still just talking about whatever. you love it, though. don't get me wrong! BIG cuddler. he likes to be little spoon :(

⚝taehyun

he likes to quietly admire you<3 you can just be taking your makeup off in your room and you'll see him in the mirror laying in the bed looking at you like ":))))" he just loves you so much! we all know taehyun is a very fit guy, so he'd probably like to go to the gym or hiking with you!! even if you're not a very active person yourself, he'd like to work out with you and act like a personal trainer of sorts. you'd be dying while doing the leg press, and he'd be like, "one more! you can do it!" after you got home from the gym, he'd be sure to massage your sore muscles after you took a shower<3

⚝hueningkai

i think we can all agree that hueningkai is the biggest loser ever! and i mean that in a very loving way! when you guys first start dating, he's soooo nervous, so you just kind of end up leading the way in the relationship. but as the relationship progresses, he starts loving to take care of you! he likes to make dinner reservations, he likes buying gifts for you, etc. but he's still so nervous about it! he'll probably be like "i made reservations for dinner! do you like that restaurant? we can go to a different one if you don't like it!" or "do you like that necklace i bought you??? i can buy a different one if you don't :(((" like, no bby you love everything he does for you<333 even after the relationship has gone on for literal years, he still needs that reassurance<3

thanks for reading!!

[banquetwriter]

hey !! I’d like to request a Johnnie x reader that has to do with you guys getting into some kind of fight and it’s just super bad so you leave and you guys go without talking and eventually Johnnie comes and apologizes to you and you guys talk it out

୨୧ Puffy eyes ୨୧

pairing: Johnnie Guilbert ♡︎ Reader

warnings: ୭̥⋆*｡ screaming, arguing, lots of crying, Johnnie being desperate lol, not edited

summary: ʚ Johnnie and you fight and the makeup that happens after • fluff/angst ɞ

Words: 2891

An: Tara is my #1 and NO ONE can change that, the I'm doing my requests out of order bc i had more inspo for this one lol

SUPPORT ME

You hadn't had ANYTHING to eat today. You were helping a friend out by watching her kid so obviously you couldn't leave the kid unattended. After a few exhausting hours, you had to help your different friend go shopping at a formal event they had coming up.

It was safe to say your brain was fried and scrambled. You set your bag down on the counter and fill up a glass of water. You took a second to let yourself sit in your misery before placing the empty cup in the sink and making your way to your shared room with Johnnie.

You slowly creaked open the door, he was sitting on his phone in his editing chair. You didn't even say anything, just sat your bag down and flopped onto the bed. But to your surprise, Johnnie doesn't say a thing, he just continues to type away on his phone.

Realistically it wasn't a big deal, sure it was annoying but texting people made him nervous so he was a slow texter. You rolled over onto your back looking up at the ceiling, then to your boyfriend.

You stared at him for at least a minute before you were fed up. “Johnnie?” you asked in a small voice. He silently looked up at you, not even putting his phone away. “What?” he asks after a beat of silence. You try to speak by opening your mouth but nothing comes out.

You get tears well up in your eyes, how embarrassing, you eventually managed to stutter out your thoughts. “N-nothing i-i just wanted to m-make sure you were ok.”

“Yeah. I'm fine,” he said looking back down at His phone. You wanted to cry, your annoying day wasn't getting any better. “OK, good. Let me know if you aren't,” you said, but your words seemed to fall on deaf ears. He didn't react, just continuing to text.

You inhaled sharply trying to prevent the tears threatening to spill from leaving your eyes. “What's wrong with you?” he asks in a bored tone.

The phrase takes you by surprise. He didn't ask what was wrong or if you were ok he asked what was wrong with you. Like it was some sick joke. “What?” you ask, staring at him, your eyes were already droopy, and could barely hold steady.

“You're just all whiny and bitchy right now,” he said, shrugging. You were taken aback. Never in your time dating Johnnie has he EVER said anything like this to you. “I’m-” you started trying to compose yourself from blowing over.

You're interrupted by the sounds of a digital keyboard clacking away. You look back at him to see he is no longer looking at you or paying any sort of attention to you but is instead texting again. Your sadness and pain turned to anger in a second.

“Who are you texting?” you ask in the most level-headed voice you can muster. “What?” he asked looking up again. “I asked ‘Who are you texting?’” you repeated. He stared at You blankly like it was a joke you were pulling on him.

But there was no joke, you were dead serious. “Just work stuff,” he muttered, continuing to type. Jealousy and suspension ran through your body, curious as to why he was acting so angry. He was also hiding who he was talking to.

Was he cheating?

You cursed yourself as soon as you thought about it. No. Johnnie would never. But would he? “No I get that but who?” you asked, sitting up. He eyed you in a funny manner, “Someone I'm trying to collab with.” he said, for once in this whole conversation not looking down at His phone.

“Cool. But who is it?” you ask again your suspicion growing tenfold. “Just this girl I-” You don't let him finish before you cut him off. “Girl?” you ask in a loud voice. His phone turns off automatically from inactivity. “Yeah. Is there a problem with me having female friends?” he asks, turning his chair towards you.

You squint your eyes at him as if to ask ‘Are you serious?’. “No, I have no issue with you having female friends. I am in what I thought was a very secure relationship. What I have issues with is you treating me like a little bitch and then hiding who you're texting, when it's some girl you're gonna “collab” with.” you say adding air quotes around your words.

The tension was thick, laced with the mallace your words held. “Woah. ‘What you thought was?’” he quotes sitting forward in your chair. “Hey, you listened to me for once! Good job!” you replied in a mocking cheery voice.

“So you're just gonna fucking dump me over what I do for work?” he said standing up. Your world felt like it was spinning. ‘Dump him?’ you hadn't mentioned breaking up with him but… if that's the first thing he thought of maybe he wanted that.

“Dump you?” you ask. “When have I said anything about that? I'm just upset with you,” you said, your tiredness gone. “Yeah upset at me for doing work!” he shouts at you. Johnnie hasn't yelled at you this whole time you've been dating.

You can't hold your tears in anymore. His loud demeanor cuts through your already fragile heart like a razor blade. You don't say anything letting your tears fall. Johnnie's face contours with regret at his words. “Y/n I-” he begins but you cut him off.

“I was never upset at you for doing your work. You treated me like shit and ignored me to text another girl, one you won't even tell me the name of.” your voice was calm but filled with anger. You slowly stood up reaching for your bag.

Johnnie followed suit trying to hold you. You smacked his contact away from you, his arms still outstretched as he slowly took a step back from you. Your eyes had turned into faucets, leaking all your sadness out. “Don't call me. Don't text me. If you think I am going to break up with you over a tiny argument, maybe we shouldn't talk at all.” you spat between your tears.

“Y/n no! I didn't mean-” but the rest of his words don't register as you grab your bag and run out of the room without bothering to close the door. He follows you, saying things your brain doesn't let you pick up. You practically ran downstairs where Jake was walking into the house.

He noticed something was clearly wrong and started to say something that you again couldn't hear. You brushed right past him leaving your house and getting into your car. You didn't know what or where you were going; you just drove.

You found yourself heading towards Tara’s house. You didn't know if she was even home or could have people over. You say in your car resting your forehead against your steering wheel. You reluctantly picked up your phone and dialed Tara’s number.

“Heyy girl,” Tara said. You tried to keep your voice level but failed. “Um, Tara? Are you home?” you asked, your voice breaking. You peeked in her driveway not seeing her flashy pink car. “Omg y/n I'm not no are you ok? What happened?” she asked quickly.

“Me and Johnnie got into a fight and he-” your voice broke with a sob. “I'm shopping right now but give me 15 I can be at my house! Where are you right now? Are you still there?” she asked in a panicked voice. “No, I left, I'm at your house,” you said, your voice creaking.

“Ok hang tight I will be right there,” she said before hanging the phone up. You put your phone on Do Not Disturb not having time to deal with anyone's bullshit right now. You stayed in your car just sobbing your eyes out.

It wasn't like you and Johnnie hadn't had arguments before but they weren't like this at all. He hadn't ever yelled. They usually get resolved quickly. But that was all gone now. You two probably weren't even dating anymore.

The idea just made you cry harder, you could see through bleary eyes that Tara had pulled in. She hastily got out of her car and ran to yours. You undid your seatbelt and opened the door. Tara’s arms were on you in an instant.

You continued to cry as she pulled you out of the car and helped you into her house. All you could do was bawl your eyes out on her couch. Tara ran around her house finding you some tissues then a cup of water then some vegan chocolate (better than nothing right) and eventually, she door-dashed you some Taco Bell.

By this point, your blubbering had cooled down and you were able to recount the argument to your loving friend. “He yelled at you? I don't think I've ever heard his voice get loud enough to register a yell.” Tara mumbles while taking a bite of her food.

You wipe your tears away nodding your head in agreement. “I don't even think we are together anymore,” you said, shrugging your shoulders. It's crazy how life can be so perfect then it comes crashing down out of nowhere.

“I don't think that's right y/n,” Tara says looking at you opening a sauce packet. You just shrug in response, how could this happen to you? You two felt so perfect. It was all broken now huh?

After a moment of silence, Taras's phone goes off. “Oh god, it's a call from Johnnie,” she mutters while picking it up. “Hello?” she asks, standing up and waking to the other side of the room.

You could tell she was trying to not let you hear the conversation. Fortunately or unfortunately you did hear. “Johnnie I don't think we should be really-” she stops for a second, you can't hear what he is saying but you know it's something long as for the next several seconds you hear nothing.

“Johnnie Johnnie calm down please,” Tara said, her voice much calmer than it was when she answered the phone. “I'm not going to tell you where they are-” Tara was cut off again. You can't hear him clearly but you can't tell he is hysterical.

She lets out a deep sigh, “Yes Johnnie they are safe I promise I'm looking at them right now.” she mutters, turning around to look at you. She looks at you for a little before you can hear the hysterical sounds again and she rolls her eyes looking back at the backdoor.

“You sniffle slightly looking down at the table before Tara comes pattering back over to you. “You need to talk to that boy soon,” she comments with an exaggerated look on her face.

You take a deep sigh and check your phone. Since you still had DND on you couldn't see any of your motifs, you unlock the phone to see that Johnnie had called you 48 times in a row. With several voicemails.

You turned on the first one to listen, checking the timestamp that was minutes after you left the house. “Hey, y/n please I'm sorry I didn't mean to make a big deal I was just upset earlier.” the voicemail clicked signaling it was the end. The next one was 30 minutes later.

“Hey, y/n please I'm getting really worried about you calling me back as soon as you can.” your heart burned as you heard his worried voice.

The next few voicemails were minutes apart.

“Y/n please I'm sorry where are you? Are you safe? Call me back, I'm sorry.” his voice was breaking and high-pitched.

“Y/n you have to call me back I'm so worried about you. Please I'm so sorry I promise we can work this out just call me.”

“Y/n, please! I never meant to hurt you. I swear that girl didn't even mean shit I didn't even wanna collab with her please.” he was sobbing now.

“Y/n please I'm gonna keep calling you until you answer.”

You checked and he had called you so much apparently he needed to call Tara to make sure you were ok. You felt your heart pinging after him wanted to just hear his voice again.

Just then your phone goes off with a call from Jake. Taras's eyes shoot up trying to see who it was. “It's just Jake,” you mutter before answering the phone. “Hello?” you ask.

There is silence before Jake answers back surprised, “Hey sorry I didn't think you would answer me um, look I know you're totally pissed at Johnnie which you have every right to be but do you think you could call him back? Uhh, I am not exaggerating when I say he is having a full-blown freakout right now.” Jake spoke the last part quietly.

Johnnie presumably was in the room with him so you took a deep breath. “Yeah, I can call him just tell him it will be a few ok? I didn't ignore his calls on purpose I had Do Not Disturb turned on,” you said looking at Tara while you spoke.

“Ok gotcha no worries just soon please he is freaking out right now,” Jake said again. “Bye Jake,” you muttered, hanging up the call. You took the phone from your ear and scrolled around till you found Johnnie’s contact. You took a deep breath before you called him.

He picked up instantly,“Y/n? Oh my god, you don't know how happy I was when you called. Are you ok? I mean I know you aren't ‘ok’ but are you safe?” he rambled for a second.

“Johnnie?” you asked quietly. There was silence on the other side. “Yes?” he croaked out quietly. “One question at a time, please calm down,” you said sadly. “Are you safe?” you took a deep breath. This was the Johnnie you fell in love with. The one who cared about you.

“Yes I'm safe at Taras,” you Said which did not make Tara happy, as she quickly made a cutting motion at her throat. “Ok. Ok good,” he said quietly. There wasn't any noise for a second. Both of you feel like kicked puppies.

“Can we talk in person? Please? I miss you.” he said, his voice filled with sadness. You would love to but you feared what would happen so close after the argument. “Yeah, we can just not today,” you promise him. He stays quiet over the line, you can feel his heart breaking.

“Yeah of course whenever you feel comfortable, ok?” He was trying and failing to sound very positive. You hung up the phone and spent the next few hours trying everything Tara thought would make you feel better. It was a sweet attempt but there wasn't much that could cheer your mood up.

Eventually, you made a makeshift bed on her couch and fell asleep. In the morning you borrowed Taras's bathroom and got ready. You hugged her goodbye and promised her that if you needed anything else you wouldn't hesitate to call.

Full of nerves you made your way to your own house. You stepped out of the car and unlocked your front door. You walked into the usually lively space that was now empty and sad. You gripped your bag tightly and made your way upstairs.

You opened the door to your room, and the sight you saw nearly shattered your heart into two. Johnnie, still wearing his clothes from yesterday, was clutching one of your sweatshirts. His eyes were bloodshot and puffy. Dark circles sat under his eyes.

He looked up at you as you entered the room. He didn't move, he just stayed on the bed. “Sweetheart-” you began dropping your bag and going to his side. He quickly wrapped his arms around you, nearly suffocating you with the force of holding you.

“I'm so sorry, I was upset because my computer crashed while I was editing and so I lost the footage and- it doesn't matter I'm sorry,” he mumbled into your shirt. Wet hot tears slowly slid down his face and made their way to your clothes.

“Johnnie, did you sleep last night?” you whispered towards him. He just shook his head no. “I forgive you. I promise. It was a stupid fight. I promise you I didn't and don't want to break up ok?” you said finally playing with his hair slightly.

“What did I do to deserve you?” he cried to you pulling away and meeting your eyes. “I don't know but it has to be something pretty good.” you joked. He laughed, wiping a few tears from his eyes. You assisted him with wiping them away by placing small kisses under his eyes.

You silently pulled him into the bathroom, getting him situated on the counter. You stood in between his legs cleaning off his day-old make-up. He sat silently as you tenderly cared for him. Eventually, you got him to drink a glass of water and helped him change into comfy clothes.

You lay down with him, being a big spoon of course. He made a million promises to you before dozing off. Your argument wasn't finished but it could take the back seat.

[pretty-little-mind33]

DAVE WITH AN ALTERNATIVE FEM!READER

Ask : Hi omg i'm so excited for Dave Lizewski bc no one writes for him like that!! Maybe a Dave lizewski x shy reader who dresses a little alternatively like a more casual goth who's secretly a nerd and he sees her at the comic store?? I love awkward x awkward tropes sm!

~ thanks for requesting, love! I made this a headcanon I hope that's okay! I also love the awkward x awkward trope! ~

• Dave would tell Marty and Todd his type was the pretty popular girls: like Katie. And to his defense, that is who he was most likely to crush on. Just like everyone else!

• That changes when he meets you.

• He sees you from across the street from the comic book store, looking in at an old vinyl store with a bunch of old books and even some cool guitars. He's drawn in by your chunky black heels and the amount of colorful butterflies clips in your hair that make a stark contrast to the black dress you have on.

• When he points you out to Marty and Todd, telling them he recognized you from Biology, they laugh and tell him he's delusional because they've never noticed you.

• You're usually shy.

• Todd dares Dave to talk to you, which causes poor Dave to blush so hard and immediately decline.

• His friends call him a pussy and now he's annoyed.

• Dave makes the decision to go up to you. You seem nice enough in class. So, he walks over and taps your shoulder. You jump and turn around, pointing your keys at him menacingly.

• "Woah!" Dave exclaims, moving away. He opens his mouth to explain himself but he's completely distracted when he sees your thick eyeliner and how gorgeous your dark red lip stick is. He just stammers over his words, embarrassed.

• "Dave," you whisper, relaxing and to his surprise you sound just as shy as he's always imagined. Still, your appearance is a contrast to the shyness of your voice.

• You know his name. Dave feels like he's floating.

• "H-hi," he stammers and rubs his nape, resisting the urge to look back at Todd and Marty who are probably staring from inside the comic book store. "H-how are you? D-do you listen to this?" He points at a random vinyl in the window as he tries making conversation.

• You don't but your nerves win and you say yes, making up a harmless white-lie about said band just to keep talking to him.

• Eventually, the conversation becomes more natural and he both end up making each other laugh. Dave is completely unaware that Todd and Marty are angrily glaring at him to come back inside and hang out with them.

• Dave doesn't care! He's having too much fun with you! Turns out you also like comic books just as much as he does.

• You give him your number and you spend all evening on the phone.

• Both you and Dave are nervous that when you're both back at school, neither of you will talk to each other because you're in such different circles. You think Dave would be embarrassed of you, and he thinks you'd be embarrassed of him.

• ✨ Idiots In Love ✨

• When Monday comes, Dave has worked up the courage to come up to you after Biology. You'd spent the entire class worried he would ignore you and the moment you hear him call you name, you spin around on your heels and grin.

• "I like your makeup," Dave says, mentioning your eyeliner and eyeshadow. Your grin widens.

• "I can show you how it's done sometime, if you want," you'll suggest in a whisper and Dave is immediately interested because he wants to spend more time with you.

• Over the next weeks, you go on "casual dates" and turns out you have more in common than you imagined. You really like him. He really likes you.

• Once you're dating dating and he's your boyfriend, the dates become more intimate and more frequent. Sometimes you'll cuddle and read comics in Dave's bedroom and other times you'll end up making out in your living room when your parents are away.

• The closer you become, the less shy you both become.

• Dave now can't get enough of the way you dress and how you wear your makeup—he even lets you put some makeup on him 😊

• But his very favorite thing? When you'll kiss his cheek/nose/lips and leave a dark mauve lipstick stain. Makes him feel all fluttery inside! He just loves you so much!

[justcallmesakira]

HIIIIII

okay, so how about, chuuya, atsushi, dazai, and nikolai with a s/o who loves dresses gothy??? they act cold and mean around others too, other then them?

yayay tyyy, remember i luv youuuu

"Skulls and hearts"

Sypnosis: You are the epitome of goth and a breeze of coldness, how do these lovely men take care of you?

Genre: romance, suggestive (slightly)

Warnings: reader is more of goth lolita than like abosolute goth bcs i have no knowledge on goth, suggestive on chuuya, one wednesday addams joke, please lmk if i didnt manage to quite reach the goth culture-

A/N: HII sweetie hru? just wanted to say i put more of a lolita goth since i am not educated well on it lol-

DAZAI was definetly fascinated by your style, infact when he first saw your dark attire on the day you entered the agency to file a report, his eyes were already sparkled!

The way you spoke so confidently and was non-chalant about it and everything, your formal attire, everything piqued him.

Especially the cold air surrounding you with your blue hued gaze. He love how you did your make up so much you could call it a mini crush at first sight.

So to fill his intrests he decided to stop you for a while to maybe use his charms but unfortuantly for him it obviously did not work out with how deadly your gaze is

"If looks could kill..." he had thought to himself.

Overtime he had started to court you and all though you despised his annoying tactics he seemed quite cute to you so you accepted his "love" for you

He even bragged about how cool and pretty his new girlfriend was all day at the agency especially when you dropped off his lunch at the office saying "I aint nobodys petty little housewife but here`s your lunch, bandaged idiot. Next time i will throw your lunch down the sewers where your rat friend lives" You had spitted t out loud.

Even the agency is piqued in you and your creative insults which you throw at him whenever he does soemthing stupid For example: "Bandagedass" "Suicidal loverman who cant even fix his clothes" "Charming bedbug i picked up from the trash" "Idiot with a handsome face'' and so on!

But ofc like the masochist he his he loves listening to them which made you creeped out and made you use much appropriate words to insult him.

He definetly tries to rile you up by saying suggestive stuff by playing with the hem of your black laced skirt, push him ten feet away if he does because you wotn be able to do that when you get home...*wink wink*

He loves your music taste, though he isnt into goth culture he loves it when you tell him about goth subculture, it reminds him how your closer and more vulnerable around him than anyone else.

You gave him some goth themed band-aids to put around his bandaged arms and neck which he shows them off like a badge of honor!

Put your makeup away from him though he will probably mess it up and make himself look like if wednesday went through a bad eye day.

And later after scolding him for going through your stuff you finally taught him how to properly do goth makeup.

You even taught him some gothic slurs to throw at anyone who tries to disturb him though he will probably use them is someone insults you which we will be on about now.

If someone dares to insult your gloomy atire, well he doesnt need to say anything because you are there already with your gaze sharper than your eyeliner.

But even so hes ready to take care of his goth gf who only soften around him anytime, anywhere!

Of course CHUUYA supports your style why wouldnt he?

If anything the first time you two had met he had a mutual intrest for you, "how pretty yet terrifying at the same time" he thought.

Soon enough he put up the courage to speak to you though the atmosphere around you was quite cold

He didnt really like people who had arrogance in their personality but you maybe seemed nice to aproach.

Of course the person you are you kept calm and maintained formality, if so you looked quite elegant.

Time passed, dates were booked, hands were slid. He finally confessed to you and you calmly smiled at him.

God...how he loved seeing your eyes soften and your matte lipstick lips form into a small smile at his smallest gestures.

Like buying you all types of goth culured dress since he doesnt know what tyoe you wear and he doesnt want to disrespect goth people

And seeing that smile and light hue of happiness form on your beautifully done cheeks

He loves complimenting you too, all the time!

"Babe you look so pretty right now," "Do you like that dress over there? The laces might suite your skin" "That evangeline themed makeup set...The colours suite your eyelids." "All dressed and pretty just for me to ruin,,,Hahh you really want to rile me up, doll, Dont ya?"

He CAN and WILL buy you the whole fricking hot topic.

Oh you like a chain belt there? frick it buys you the whole belt section. Oh you liked the glossy purple lipstick at the side walk shop? buys 10 different shades.

Hes an executive ofcourse he will buy you everything!

Chuuya can make a few suggestive comments too,,,yknow.

"Wow, doll you do your makeup so well? You could be a professional you know?" "Oh chuuya, how you fluster me'' "Well...professional or not imma` bout to ruin that makeup so bad right now."

Dont worry he will help you clean up the mess he did to your face later. Afterall he loves a cute little goth gf!

I wont deny it but ATSUSHI was quite scared by you at first glance, but warmed up soon when he realises that your not half bad afterall

He had met you at cafe uzumaki sipping on a coffee cup while sketching, wow, the fancy sketchbook and the fact that you were drawing while wearing long black dimond studded nails really made him admire you

Though he was shy at first since you had this shilling aura around you, he still took a breathe and walked over you

You kept looking at him up and down as he nervously tries to introduce himself which makes you break your demeaner and let out a soft chuckle "Oh my...what a wonderful laugh they have..."

So the conversation between you two started, infact while conversing you had drawn a very neat sketch of him with your skull printed pencil.

He was definetly shocked on how you drew him so well in such short time.

Over the agency work days, atsushi was quite a bit nervous, which dazai made a few jokes about him having a crush on "The cafe's goth girl"

And so you two became a thing! well after atsushi got somehow rid of his nervousness

Except your the boyfriend in this relationshio ;D

He tries to buy you stuff though, but you always deny and take him to oth stores at the corners of yokohama, to say the least your better guided than him.

I am sure the agency also warmed ap at you! not since whenever you would always have this threatening aura with a ravishing face of dark-hued makeup but when he turned around to speak to you

Your all soft smiling and tilted eyes.

You even dressed him up in goth clothes one time which he looked a bit too silly in.

If dazai ever saw atsushi in scene clothes though...he wil definetly say something like "Ohohoho you two remind me of Morticia addams and um, oh yeah! Gomez addams Hahaha, wait then kyouka can be your..."

You instantly went "Atsushi please, tell your STEROTYPICAL, UNFUNNY, MENTALLY ILL father to get the fuck out of here and go try to drown himself or something"

So now, not only is atsushi scared of you so is dazai!!

He still loves you and your style though, who wouldnt because i would love a goth s/o who would put on the most gorgeous make up ever and rai--

...

He`s both barking and joining your cult.

JUST KIDDING-

NIKOLAI obviously fell in love with your sass at first sight! What an independant and cool woman! he had thought when his emerald and blue eye fell upon you.

You werent even scared of his illy and outrageous tactics instead you just rolled your eyes at him as if hes some freak

Now this is intresting.

I think nikolai has prefernces for goth lolita so if by any chance thats your aesthetic get ready to be filled with flirts and touchiness

He just cant help it! Your so cold to him but cant you see how intrested he is in you? not just your style but your whole personality he loves analizing people!

Which you find about after many tries of him trying for you to at least speak with him, He was annoying especially during the first stages of your relationship

But soon enough you warmed up, realising that though hes a bit fucked up in the head hes quite chill and fun to hang around.

Niko definetly uses his ability to steal your favourite items from hot topic, so be prepared when you see your vanity filled with all kinds of stygian clothes, lingerine, cropped tops, fishnets, corsets, puffy skirts, makeup etc.

That act made you more soft around him and hes just giddy he got to make his infamous "gloomy" dove smile :D

You help him dress up sometimes too, maybe drawing out long triangles under his eyes for his next show or maybe putting on some dark lipstick just to smooch his neck.

Okay i can defiently see him and you be great fashionistas! One with clownish crimson and black attire and the other with a menacing aura of a maginficent raven (got the reference?)

He is just into you okay? Dont question it!

A/N: i had a bit too much fun writing this lol BY THE WAY GUYS DONT BE OFFENDED BY THE JOKE MY HUBBY MADE AT ATSUSHIS PART, HES JUST A LIL SILLY :33

Divider crds!: @firefly-graphics

Tags: @heartsfourdazai @silverbladexyz @ruanais @biscuits-spooky-corner @riiwrites @chuuyasboner @atlasnessie @saelique @tsuunara @elizais

[chryblossomjjk]

the weekend | jjk

⇢ PAIRING: dilf!jk x babysitter reader

⇢ RATING/GENRE: m/18+ | fwb, sm*t, angst

⇢ WC: 13.8k

⇢ WARNINGS: alright boyz strap in bc it's a doozy lmao, protected s*x, multiple org*sms (m & f), or*l s*x (m receiving), face f*ck, f*ngering, rough s*x, face slapping, sp*nking, exh*bitionism, sir k*nk, t*tty f*ck, t*tty sucking (duh), body piercings (n*pples), age gap (reader is 23 and jk is like 30), infid*lity (reader is the other woman), ch*king, overst*mulation, sp*tting, man handling, finger s*cking, d*m jk, brief mentions of past add*ction, implied passing of a bby (mainly subtext w no details given), maybe unrequited love, maybe not (EVIL CACKLE), some dark thoughts discussed (nothing too graphic or detailed), fighting n yelling n crying yikes, all of these characters are v flawed (except for yul duh), cute bby moments!!, oc is v immature n naive n contradicts herself a lot, she maybe has a thing for older guys bc of that, some bl*od (just a scrape on the knee but ik bl*od can be triggering), this relationship is extremely toxic and not meant to be desired!!!, one homage to trixie mattel lmao

⇢ SUMMARY: every weekend, you give jungkook a little taste of something he’s missing monday through friday.

⇢ NOTES: so after months and months of planning this fic (i literally posted the teaser in JANUARY UM??), it's finally here. i think this is my fav thing i've written thus far and i worked v hard on this! would love to know ur thoughts, feedback is always appreciated!! ty @/taegularities for betaing!! (for whatever reason, this fic refuses to show up in tags n it sucks n nothing i do fixes it so i shall leave it be lol)

You can't tell what’s louder—the crunch of dewy, end-of-summer grass pricking the soft skin of your thighs like angry thorns, or the cracking of bones as your body thumps to the ground from your bedroom window. 

“Ah-” the whine is quickly stifled by a sharp hiss as you remember your dad’s sleeping figure is just behind the wall next to you. “Ouch,” you whimper, praying that the crash hasn’t reached his watchful ears. Carefully, you climb to your feet, brushing the dirt off your bare legs. You spot a fresh crimson scrape on your knee.

Fucking great. 

Finally, after days of longing and waiting, the weekend has arrived. Today, in particular, is a fantastic day. You were trying to look sexy, and blood isn't exactly the sexiest accessory. Bringing your wrist up to your nose, you inhale the candy-scented liquid you had doused yourself in before leaving. 

Perfume still in check, thank fuck.

Goosebumps form on your skin as you take long, dutiful strides, cool night mist gliding through the thin material of your long silk shirt. You’ve committed this path to memory—out the window, usually in a more graceful manner, through the neighbor’s yard, and then straight down the sidewalk to the black Mercedes Benz waiting for you at the end of the road. 

If you hadn’t done this a million and one times already, you might’ve missed the vehicle, so dark that it blends into the night seamlessly. You can’t help but wonder if that’s his goal entirely. 

Still, the excitement of it all makes you walk a little faster. 

“Hey, Jungkook,” you smile as you slide into his black leather passenger seat, leaning over the center console to give his cheek a gentle peck. Maybe you’ve overstepped a boundary and muddied the lines in the sand of your… relationship, but you can’t help yourself. Seeing Jungkook was always a treat, one you looked forward to every Friday night for the past five months.

“Hi,” he says impassively, eyes darting over your figure. A loose strand of hair dangles in front of his eyes, teasing you. “You’re wearing makeup?”

“Oh, um…” You’re at a loss for words; surprised he noticed such a slight change in your appearance. Although his perceptiveness was something you noted shortly after you began working for him, you can’t help but feel flustered. “Yeah, I… wanted to look nice tonight. Totally busted my ass climbing out the window,” you laugh.

“Did you get hurt?” His straight brows furrow slightly, silver piercing reflecting the moonlight. 

“Just a scratch.” You lift your leg to show him the red mark on your knee. “Didn’t break anything, though, so that’s a plus.”

Wordlessly, Jungkook reaches over, popping open the glove compartment before you and pulling out the first aid kit he keeps there for emergencies. The scent of clean linen wafts over you from his daily cologne. His scent. Only his. You try your best to subdue the possessive smirk forming. “You should be more careful.”

“I’m okay.”

“Be more careful,” he commands, peering up at you with an icy gaze. “Got it?”

Whether it’s the seven-year age gap between the two of you or the tone of his voice, you know better than to argue. “Yes,” you wince as he rubs Neosporin onto the open wound. “Besides, I wouldn’t have gotten hurt if my dad wasn’t so… overprotective.”

“Well,” he continues, sticking a pink Baby Shark bandaid to your skin before putting the box back, “as a father, I understand.”

“Yul is two, though,” you laugh, “I’m in my twenties.”

“Being in your early twenties hardly makes you an adult,” he mutters. "Besides, it doesn't matter. The need to protect your children always stays the same.”

“Poor Bunny,” you pout jokingly as you click your seatbelt on. “She’s going to be just like me when she’s older. Sneaking out of a window to see a boy because her daddy is a big grizzly bear.”

The comment has his nose twitching in irritation. “I’m done with this conversation, __.”

You freeze. Have you struck a nerve?

“Jungkook, I’m sorry,” you peep. “I didn’t mean to-”

“Stop.” His voice is flat, but your heart thumps. “It’s fine.”

All the excitement you feel suddenly morphs into an uncomfortable ache as you slump into your seat. It’s different than it was last weekend, positioned much closer to the dashboard than you would ever put it. There’s a claustrophobic sting in your chest as you realize someone else has been in this very spot. 

You know they have, and you know who. 

The deafening sound of the bulky silver band on his finger, tapping against the steering wheel as he begins driving to the hotel you frequent, is a sick reminder.

You swear there’s even a musky floral scent lingering in the air. Deeper and more mature than yours. It could be paranoia, or guilt, making you imagine things. Still, you hope your perfume finds its way into every fiber of his leather seats. 

“How was your day?” Jungkook asks, interrupting any rational thought or doubt, luring you back into the vicious cycle. 

“A bit stressful,” you sigh. “I applied for school today.”

“That’s good.”

“Yeah, pretty sure I messed up on the financial aid paperwork, though. It was super confusing; I didn’t understand any of it.”

“You should’ve brought it over. I could’ve helped you.” 

Jungkook does have a master’s degree in finance. He could’ve been your Rosetta Stone, helping you decipher convoluted questions about taxes and deductions. However, you weren’t sure how he would’ve reacted to you pulling out your laptop post-sex, asking for assistance on something completely unrelated to your normal routine. “That’s not the type of thing we usually do when we’re together,” you shrug, “you know?”

Your response has him shifting in his spot, pierced bottom lip curling inwards like the words made him queasy. He was the one who encouraged you to go back to school in the first place. “I wouldn’t have minded,” Jungkook mumbles before quickly redirecting the dialogue, something he does whenever he’s frustrated or uncomfortable. “So, what’s the special occasion?” 

“Huh?” 

“What’s got you all dolled up?”

Oh, right. That special occasion. The one you’ve been anticipating since you were made aware of its existence. 

“Happy three years sober!” You announce with a cheesy smile, throwing your arms up eagerly. 

“Ah,” he huffs in recognition. His eyes are fixed on the road, but there’s the tiniest hint of a smirk on his face. Success. It takes everything in you not to physically rejoice. “I’m surprised you remembered.”

“What do you mean?” You ask with a pout. “How could I forget?”

“I don’t know.” Just like that, the flicker of happiness wisps away like a flame in the wind as his expression turns emotionless and stoic again. “It’s not really a big deal.”

You frown. Must he always be so… cold? 

‘It’s okay to smile; you deserve it,’ is what you want to tell him. It's not your place, though. You opt for: “It’s a huge deal, Jungkook,” instead. Reaching over, you gently tuck the stray strand of hair behind his decorated ear. 

A somber aura hangs around him like a dark, dreary rain cloud, and in moments like this, when it’s so visible, you just… need to touch him.

It’s stupid to think that you’re the special one; that you’ll be the girl to turn the rain into a rainbow and save him from himself, but you can’t refrain from trying. 

“Did you celebrate?”

He shakes his head. “Went to work.” 

You can tell from his outfit—a sleek black blazer resting neatly on top of an even darker button-up and tie. His long hair is slicked back, but gravity, and his ten-hour long shift took their toll, making the strands hang slack, short undercut peaking through. He looks so incredibly sexy. Maybe, you can comfort him in the only way you know how…

“Well, there’s still time.” You point to the clock on his touchscreen stereo: 11:12 p.m. You throw your hair over your shoulder before slowly undoing the top two buttons of your shirt, revealing the skimpy black lingerie set you splurged on just for tonight. Just for him. “We can celebrate…”

“Yeah?” His cheek bubbles, tongue poking at the inside of his mouth, eyebrow jumping at your suggestion. “How so?”

You bite your lip, contemplating your next move. Hastily, you unbuckle your seatbelt and lean over the center console. It’s reckless, but so is being with a man like Jungkook. When you finally get to have him the way you want, you’re incapable of rationality. 

One night of him isn’t enough. What kind of tease is that? You need at least six more to be satisfied…

“__,” he warns, arching his head away from your sneaky lips.  “Put your seatbelt on. Wait until we get to the hotel.”

“Where’s the fun in that, though?” You pout, cupping his cheek in your hand and batting your eyelashes innocently. Jungkook doesn’t take the bait, giving the desolate road ahead his unwavering attention. Despite his nonchalant demeanor, you can tell you’re getting to him. Below you, his slacks tighten around his thick, tensed thighs. He’s playing right into your hands. Needily, you tongue the little silver hoops dangling from his ear. 

“If I have to pull over, you’re in trouble.”

“Maybe I-”

A hushed ‘fuck’ cuts you off as the car comes to a screeching halt. Jungkook slams on the brakes, coming too close to the slower vehicle in front of you for comfort. Luckily, his dad reflexes kick in. His strong hand grips your waist tightly, preventing you from barreling forward. You brace yourself by clutching his shoulders, and when the adrenaline rush fades, you finally look at him. His nostrils are flared, and his jaw is clenched painfully tight. He’s pissed. 

You know you should apologize, or be a little shaken up, but the blinking of the turn signal as he pulls to the side of the dark highway has your mouth watering. This is just what you wanted. 

Jungkook sighs in frustration, tilting his head back against the headrest. The movement is counterintuitive, exposing the inked canvas of his neck that you’re desperate to paint red and purple. 

A hand fists your tangled hair, pulling you off with a harsh yank before you have the chance to sink your teeth in. The silver ring on his finger digs into your scalp like a knife. “Do not fucking mark me.”

The feeling of the frigid metal is agonizing. Not physically—his grip loosens immediately after the initial tug—but emotionally. You know why he doesn’t want you to mark him. Any evidence of you, other than your weekly babysitting duties, would unravel the entire life he’s built for himself. 

Jungkook is an intelligent man, though. You don’t have to tell him that it’s all a façade, and everything’s already been undone. 

“I’m sorry.” Your voice comes out frail and shaky. “I just want you.”

And like some cruel joke, his phone rings. 

The contact image would typically make you swoon. It’s a picture of him and his daughter from her first birthday party; her sticky, strawberry ice cream covered hands holding his cheeks as he stares at her with scrunched eyes and a big smile. You think that picture is the only time you’ve ever seen him genuinely happy.

The bold, white font at the top of the screen makes you sick to your stomach. 

‘Wife.’

Jungkook releases your hair and places a finger over his mouth, signaling you to shut up,  before answering. 

“Yes, Seulgi?”

“Your daughter would like to speak to you.” 

Her voice makes you want to curl into yourself. Whenever you talk to Seulgi regarding Yul, you’re able to compartmentalize and detach that part of yourself from this one. The one that’s sleeping with her husband. Hearing her in this compromised setting makes you feel absolutely repulsive. 

After some rustling and tiny sniffles, Yul answers. “Da-” She only manages a syllable before breaking into a cry-induced coughing fit. You cringe, poor Bunny. “Daddy!”

“What’s wrong with my baby?”

You don’t mean to giggle, especially when the little girl you’ve grown to love so much is clearly distressed, but the intimidating, grumpy, tattooed businessman beside you, talking in full-on pout, tickles your brain just right.

“I don’t wanna sleep alone!” Yul screeches in the most anguished, high-pitched tone.

“Bunny…” With the way his hands scrub down his face, you can tell the tears on the other end are physically affecting him. “Take a deep breath, please.”

There’s a shaky inhale, and a sad whine of an exhale as she tries to steady her respirations.

“Thank you, good job,” he affirms. “Yul, daddy is…” Dark pupils flicker over to you, his face scowled to match. He eyes you like you’re an annoying stain on his leather seat. A dirty little secret that’s keeping him from his daughter. The gesture sends a dagger through your chest. Usually, Jungkook tells his wife he’s working overtime, but he can’t bring himself to lie to his only daughter. “Busy.”

“B-B-But.” The wails have simmered down to a blubber. “Scared.”

“You have mommy, though, don’t you?” He counters exasperatedly, cogs turning at maximum speed to conjure up a solution. “And Ruru?”

Yul is a persistent girl. You’ve seen the two-and-a-half-year-old deadpan Jungkook with a ‘you can have them, then,’ when he tried to convince her that vegetables were delicious and totally not an abomination to tastebuds. “Jeon Ruru is scared, too.”

After a few months of dedication and trust building, Yul finally initiated you into her inner circle of squishmallows, all of which shared the surname, Jeon, followed by whatever random title her baby brain bestowed them. Jeon Ruru, a glass of strawberry milk, was her favorite. You coo in remembrance. 

“What about Ado?” Jungkook suggests, exhausting all his options.

“Ado?” She peeps curiously, and you can almost see her doe eyes scanning the room for her runner-up, an avocado squishmallow you gifted her. “Ado’s sleepin’.”

“Can you go get him?”

There’s a long pause of contemplation before the pitter-patter of tiny feet on wood fills the speakers. “Jeon Ado!” She calls out, voice becoming distant as she runs to her bedroom, “daddy wantsa’ talk to you!” You make out a quiet ‘I’ll tuck you in’ when Seulgi helps her to bed. “Okay,” Yul huffs, breathless from her scurry down the long corridor, “he’s here.”

“Jeon Ado.” You rarely see this side of him, and it takes all of your strength to suppress the smile that’s creeping up. “Can you keep Yul safe while I’m away?” He even leans forward a bit, turning his ear towards the speaker as if he’s actually waiting for the stuffed avocado to answer, subconsciously playing along with his daughter despite being miles apart. The scene puts your overwhelmingly sweet perfume to shame. “Uh, Yul, he said yes. So can you sleep in your big girl bed tonight?”

Reluctantly, Yul grumbles in agreement.

“Alright baby, goodnight. I’ll see you in the morning, okay?” 

Again, she answers with a little grunt and a yawn.

“I love you.”

“Love youuu!” She extends the vowel for emphasis.

“I love you more.”

There’s a beat of silence before the sleepy girl simply responds ‘yep,’ not even attempting to argue. He glances at you, this time with a wholesome smile, eyes warm with burning stars. It’s moments like this that keep you hooked, you think. Like always, the feeling is short-lived. When Seulgi mumbles a sweet goodnight to her daughter, their daughter, you’re reminded that you shouldn’t even be observing this domestic interaction. 

“You know,” the man begins, turning his attention to his wife, “if you had given her a warm bottle, she would’ve gone down without a hitch.” 

“Jungkook, she’s too old for a bottle.” And just like that, the fire between them ignites. You’ve never actually witnessed the pair fighting, only felt the uncomfortable heat between them in passing. “And she’s too old to be co-sleeping. She never had an issue sleeping alone beforehand.”

“Alright,” he asserts, “if Yul’s okay, then we’re done here.”

“Don’t you think it’s a little unfair?” Despite his warning, she continues. “Getting her used to sleeping with you and then not being here?”

There were many things about having a daughter that Jungkook wasn’t prepared for.

It’s not that he didn’t do his research, and Yul certainly wasn’t an accident. He had wanted her more than anything. Especially after the… 

Incident.

A baby-sized hole was left in Jungkook’s chest. Every day, it grew bigger and bigger until, eventually, that bitter emptiness would’ve swallowed him alive. 

Jungkook needed Yul. 

Still, there were certain things that parenting books and videos hadn’t warned him about, like the worry in his stomach whenever his daughter refuses her lunch, or the ache in his heart when he drops her off at daycare and she watches him leave through the window with a sad wave and tears rolling down her cheeks as if he’s just abandoned her forever. As if he or his wife aren’t going to pick her up in a mere four hours like they do every Tuesday and Thursday. His readings haven’t prepared him for the even stronger ache that consumes his entire body whenever he leaves for work too early and comes home too late, with barely any time to spend with his favorite person in the world.  

Before Yul was even born, Jungkook and Seulgi had decided that co-sleeping was out of the question. Their room was for them, and he stood firm on that principle for a while. However, as time passed, their room became Seulgi’s, and the empty bedroom downstairs became his. 

Jungkook couldn’t stand that room. 

One night, after a particularly grueling shift, Jungkook trudges up the stairs for a late shower. Without finance talk or Yul’s babbles, he’s left to his own thoughts. Usually, under the scalding water, he wondered how his life turned out this way, or more so, why? This time, Jungkook wonders if there is even a reason to keep going at all.

He catches his reflection while brushing his teeth. His eyes are dark, cold, distant. Those same eyes belong to his daughter, but all he sees when looking into hers is love, innocence, and everything good in life. 

Maybe, just maybe, there’s hope for him. 

Taking a detour to Yul’s room, Jungkook does his best to quietly tip-toe around squishmallows and discarded markers. Underneath the pink blanket is a little ball of fluffy black hair. She’s got her thumb in her mouth—a bad habit he and Seulgi had been trying to nip in the bud—with her chubby cheeks squished against her pillow. There were few things he hated more than waking her up, especially when she was sleeping so peacefully, but for whatever reason, he couldn’t stop himself. 

Tiny, confused cries fill the room as Jungkook scoops her up. 

“Shh,” he hushes, smoothing his palm over her onesie-clad back. “It’s just me.”

“Da- ddy?” Immediately, she relaxes at the familiar sound of his voice, words slurred as she rubs the sleep out of her eyes with a little fist before peering up at him with big marble eyes. 

“How was daycare, Bunny?” 

“Scared,” she whimpers, slumping into his chest for comfort. “Scaredy cat.”

“Scaredy cat?” Jungkook repeats, trying to make sense of the phrase. “Who’s a scaredy cat?”

“Jeon Yul.” 

Typically, Jungkook finds it adorable when Yul refers to herself in the third person. The way she says it this time makes him frown. “Jeon Yul is not a scaredy cat. Jeon Yul is a baby, that’s all.” Realizing that she’d probably heard the unfavorable title at daycare, his chest tightens. With a heavy sigh, he rests his chin on top of her round head, swaying back and forth. Her hair smells like green apples from her baby soap. “Why were you scared, sweetheart?”

“No color…” 

On his lunch break, Seulgi informed him that she was picking Yul up early. In an attempt to encourage her to engage with other children, the teacher took away Yul’s crayons, sending her into a full-blown tantrum. Jungkook knew his daughter well, a spitting image of him in every capacity. The crayons weren’t the problem; it was that crippling shyness that made her afraid of socializing with nearly anyone other than you and her parents.

Her back ripples with tiny hiccups as she recounts the events. Jungkook decides it’s best to change the subject, not wanting to upset his two-year-old anymore—especially this late at night. 

“Guess what?”

Yul grunts an inquisitive noise.

“Daddy got you Baby Shark coloring books.”

Her wispy bedhead bounces as she glances side to side, inspecting her room for any sign of new Pinkfong merchandise. Jungkook was genuinely amazed at her ability to keep track of it all, considering how much he and his wife loved to spoil her rotten. However, the word ‘rotten’ doesn’t even come close to describing his baby. “Where?”

“In my car,” he laughs, slicking her choppy bangs out of her eyes. “We’ll color tomorrow., okay?”

“I like Baby Shark,” Yul says, completely ignoring his question. The teeniest, tiniest, most precious yawn slips out, two little front teeth on full display before her lips smack together sleepily. Truly living up to her nickname.

“I know you do.” He’s still rocking her gently, buying some time before she falls back into sleep’s arms and out of his. “I missed you so much today.” 

“Why?”

As of late, ‘why’ seems to be Yul’s favorite word. 

Why is the sky blue?

Why do vegetables taste yucky?

Why is daddy’s nose so big?

He’d be lying if he said that last, brutally honest question hadn’t caught him off guard when she first uttered it on his hip at the grocery store. 

“Because I love you.” It’s the most effortless sentence he’s ever spoken. The most natural feeling he’s ever felt.

“Why?” 

“Because,” his eye roll is disconnected from his growing smile, “you’re so cute!” If they weren’t enclosed by the four pink walls of Yul’s bedroom, Jungkook would be embarrassed at the squeakiness of his usual monotone voice. Leaning down, Jungkook blows a raspberry against her doughy cheek, a tried and true method of making her laugh. “Do you want to sleep in my room?”

It’s against his better judgment and the ground rules he had agreed to, but he just… really needs to spend time with her tonight. The small nod against his chest seals the deal. Before he gets to the door, Yul stops him with an exaggerated gasp.

“Daddy, Ruru!”

“Ruru?” 

She grunts, frustrated at her father’s confusion, frantically pointing at her partner in crime, the strawberry milk squishmallow lying neatly underneath her comforter. Just how she left it.

“Yul,” Jungkook starts, taking a few steps backward and bending at the waist, allowing her to take the oversized stuffie into her arms. “Isn’t this Mimi?” As far as Jungkook knows, the pink milk carton with a face had always been Mimi; a name Yul had dubbed it since he brought it home a couple months back.

“Ruru,” she states affirmatively. 

And ever since then, Yul’s been a co-sleeper. 

Jungkook prided himself on knowing his daughter like the back of his tattooed hand. Whether it’s a sixth sense, some innate father’s instinct that the parenting videos mentioned, or his own attention to detail, he could read her like a book. However, sharing a bed with the tiny human taught him something he had been blissfully unaware of:

Yul sleeps wild. 

More often than not, Jungkook was awoken by a tiny foot kicking his back, or by his own reflexes as he was somehow pushed to the very corner of the bed by his twenty-pound baby. There were even a few times when a harsh tug on his hair acted as an alarm clock. When he turned around to confront the culprit, however, she was fast asleep, arm slung over one of the many squishmallows that had worked their way into his room. 

Having her with him was worth all bald spots and bruises, though. It’s bad, he knows it, and night by night, Yul becomes more attached. Getting her acclimated to daycare had been hell, to say the least. He knows co-sleeping has possibly made her more reluctant to socialize than she already was. 

Still, Jungkook can’t help but wonder who’s more dependent on the other. When he thinks about it, undoubtedly, the answer is him. Because as long as he wakes up to a little foot in his back, a fist in his hair, and the smell of green apple baby soap, he has a reason to keep going. 

“Don’t you think she deserves better?”

Her sharp words swipe through the air like a blade. Even you feel the cut, cautiously eyeing Jungkook. You can’t read his expression, but something about it makes you rub a comforting hand over his shoulder. He doesn’t react to your touch at all.

There’s a sullen pause before he finally answers. “I think Yul deserves everything.”

“Right… Goodnight, Jungkook.” She hangs up before he has the chance to respond. Seulgi always struck you as a level-headed person, albeit a bit aloof, but never unfair or cruel. You assume she’s just being spiteful, because anyone who knows Jungkook would never question his dedication to his daughter. That ugly, bitter, jealous side of you thinks maybe she just doesn’t know him the way you do. 

“Are you okay?” You whisper as if approaching a wounded animal, ready to attack. 

“On Fridays,” he starts, eyes shamefully dropping to his fidgeting hands. “Yul spends the day with my parents.”

His incessant need to defend his parenting makes your heart ache. “Hey, I-”

“She’s usually asleep by the time I leave work.” 

“Kook,” you interrupt his rambling. “You don’t have to explain; I understand... I think you’re an amazing father.”

Lifting his head, Jungkook looks you directly in the eyes. His are glassy and gentle now, but the fingers that hook into your lace bra, right between the cups, are rough and abrasive. “C’mere,” he gruffs, pulling you over the center console until you’re uncomfortably sandwiched between his solid chest and the steering wheel. There’s no effort to make room for you; he doesn’t slide his seat back. He doesn’t compromise any of his space for you. You accept it, steadying yourself on his shoulders with a grunt. 

Sometimes, you question what your presence in his life truly is. Are you an escape or a punching bag? Are you merely something he can sink his nails and teeth into when angry? Something he can break without consequence? The sound of thread ripping and buttons popping fills the car as he slides the silk off your shoulders, letting the delicate material fall to the floor without a care in the world.

“You wore this for me?” A fingertip lightly traces the petite swell of your breasts, barely bulging over the frilly black cups of your push-up. The sensation sets your skin ablaze.

“Mhm,” you confirm, “I wanted today to be special.”

“You care about me?” Moonlight cuts through the dewy window, beaming against the side of his face, highlighting the taut pull in his features. His question seems genuine, but the answer is obvious, isn’t it? Simply being here with him makes the entire foundation of your soul, all of your morals and beliefs, crumble to pieces. Against your better judgment, you’re still here. 

Yearning. Trying. Fighting.

You swipe a thumb over his thick brows, trying to ease the angry crinkle that’s become a permanent fixture on his beautiful face. You comb through his hair. It’s a little knotted, a little crunchy from old gel. 

The answer should be obvious, but you don’t think Jungkook could internalize love if it was right in front of him.

“I care about you,” you say truthfully, “a lot.”

The stars in his eyes gleam for a moment, glowing bright and vibrant, before they’re engulfed by the suffocating blackness of his pupils. 

“You poor thing,” Jungkook tuts, trailing his fingers up your neck before grasping your jaw with a single hand. The baby fat of your cheeks mushes together from the force. “You're gonna let me do whatever I want to you, aren't you?”

The tone of his voice has your heart fluttering and your stomach churning with thick hot desire. Gripping his wrist with both hands, you moan out a ‘yes,’ unconsciously grinding down onto his slack-covered bulge. He’s barely touched you yet and your cunt is leaking, making a mess of your itty bitty thong and his work suit. 

“Right, of course.” With the same hand holding you, Jungkook taps his index finger against your glossy pout, “open.” Just barely parting your lips, you let the thick digit slide between them. Immediately, he presses down against your tongue, trying to coax a gag out of you. “What if I want to fuck this pretty little mouth until you cry? How does that sound? Would you like that?”

Inhaling deeply, you nod. That sounds absolutely perfect.

“I don’t know if you can handle it, though,” he lulls, retracting his finger before plunging it back in, all the up to his inked knuckle. You squint in defiance. He’s teasing, but you can’t fight the tinge of anger in your chest. If there’s one thing you can do, it’s suck a mean dick. Looking him directly in the eyes, you swirl your tongue against his palm with ease, not choking once. You feel his cock twitch against the supple flesh of your inner thigh. 

Unamused by your antics, Jungkook yanks his hand back angrily, making a string of saliva drip down your chin. Maybe a full face of makeup wasn’t the best idea. “Get in the backseat,” he orders huskily, wiping the damp skin on his blazer. Biting back a smirk, you climb off his lap and wriggle over the center console. You situate yourself on the cool leather, laying down and assuming face-fuck position. 

The yellow glow of headlights swims across the ceiling as a passing car drifts down the misty highway. This is the first time in five months that you and Jungkook are out in the open, blissfully oblivious to the possibility of getting caught. It’s childish, but you hope someone sees. For a moment in time—in a wandering eye’s glimpse of reality—you’re his and he's yours.

“Couldn’t wait until we got to the hotel, huh?” Jungkook huffs when he opens the door. Giddily, you lean your head back over the edge of the seat, coming face to face with the tent in his pants. His hands frantically work to unbuckle his belt, desperate to bury himself inside of you. His favorite escape. “Well, since you want to act like a fucking whore-” his pants fall to his knees with a clang when he unbuttons them, “-I’ll treat you like one.”

“Please,” you whimper, noting the wet spot on his gray Calvin Kleins. Reaching up, you lightly drag your nails across it, teasingly pinching the head of his cock before he tugs his boxers down. A big greedy smile spreads across your face as his semi springs out. 

The sight makes your lips part. It’s so pretty. Something about how the moonlight catches the glowy pink tip, peeking out from under his foreskin. The light accentuates every ridge and vein on his girthy shaft. So yummy it has you drooling-

Jungkook’s right. You’re a complete and utter whore.

“Is this what you wanted?” He peers down at you over his prominent nose, one hand clutching the roof of his Mercedes. The other wraps around his thick shaft, giving it a few languid pumps, getting himself fully erect for you. Teasingly, he taps the head against your plump lips. Unable to resist, you press a sweet peck and a kitten lick to his silky frenulum. “Uh-uh,” he chuckles, raising his delicious cock just beyond your reach. “You know better than that. Ask for permission.”

“Wanna suck it,” you pout, squirming impatiently. “Please?”

Suddenly, his heavy cock slaps your cheek with a wet thud.

“Please, what?”

“Please, sir?”

“Good girl.” The praise is contradicted by another light smack to your face, this time with an open palm. Taking the hint, you open your mouth wide, tongue sticking out in anticipation. Jungkook watches you intently with furrowed brows and a slack jaw as he feeds you the first few inches. As soon as the salty flavor of his arousal hits your tastebuds, you moan obnoxiously, back arching off the leather beneath you. 

He starts slowly, using your breathing to guide his movements—pausing on the exhales and giving you a bit more on the inhales. He does this until the entirety of his length is shoved down your warm, wet mouth. 

The hem of his black dress shirt flows over you, obstructing his view. He places it between his teeth with an annoyed groan, wanting to watch the swell in your neck as you swallow him like a snake. “You take it so well,” he grunts over the material, “the best I’ve ever had.”

Tears clinging to your lashes finally lose grip, trickling down your skin until they get lost in the thick, dark swoops of your dangling hair. For once, you mean something more to him than she does. It’s insignificant and shameful, but at least it's something.

“Are you okay, __?” Jungkook asks, sensing the shift as your soul splays before him like your half-naked body. Stepping back, he gives you some reprieve.

With red eyes and drool bubbling at the corners of your lips, you moan out an implied ‘yes.’ His confession has you on cloud nine.

“Do you remember the sign?”

Again, you hum. 

“Can you show me?”

Lazily, you tap his outer thigh three times, a hard ‘stop’ symbol you had agreed upon months ago while hanging off the edge of a hotel bed, preparing for Jungkook to fuck your mouth for the very first time. 

“Good girl,” he says before rutting his entire length into you again. He’s so deep that the soft skin of his scrotum nudges against the tip of your nose, and the dense patch of trimmed hair on his pubic bone tickles your chin. Reaching down, Jungkook grips your neck, reveling in the feeling of it stretching against his palm as he moves in and out steadily. 

Eventually, he hunches over, hands wandering down and holding your temples for better leverage. Despite the harsh digs of his hips, his delicate fingers brush away a few strands of hair stuck to your damp cheeks. The sweet gesture makes you whimper around him in pure ecstasy, moving your head to meet his thrusts for extra stimulation, circling your flat tongue around the base. 

The whistles of the midnight breeze and the murmur of passing cars fade, and all you hear is Jungkook. The melodic, venomous praises pouring out of him poison your mind with optimism. He takes one last plunge, so powerful it sends you sliding back against the seat. To steady yourself, you grip his legs, attempting to ease your triggered gag reflex. He holds you there, cock stuffed to the brim as he slams a hand against the black steel of his car, shirt falling from his teeth as he moans ardently. You gasp when he finally pulls out, leaking tip still connected to you by a bridge of spit and precum.

“Why-” Cough. “Why did you stop?” 

Your question is met with only the sound of rustling fabric and the chime of his hanging belt buckle as he removes his suit jacket and throws it into the passenger seat. Grabbing you by the band of your lingerie, Jungkook hauls your frame closer.

He snaps your taut bra strap against your shoulder with a single finger. “Take this off.”

“O-Okay,” you stutter, still trying to catch your breath as you sit up at the waist and unclip your bra. A shiver runs down your spine as the cool night air licks your exposed chest. This time when you lie down, you’re positioned under his spread legs. He stands over you with such authority and dominance. The underside view of his hard cock looks absolutely menacing. 

“These,” Jungkook’s large palms grab at your tits, jiggling them, “I wanna fuck ‘em.”

“There isn’t anything for you to fuck,” you giggle. 

After years of insecurity, and crying over vengeful comments from dumb boys you had broken things off with, you finally came to terms with your appearance. Your tits are small, and that’s okay. Plus, the cute little nipple piercings you had gotten a while back were definitely a confidence booster. There wasn’t an ounce of self-hatred in your comment.

Jungkook doesn’t take it that way, though.

“Shut up.” With a huff, he steps back and hunches, reaching down to deliver a harsh swat to your cheek. It was a little rougher than usual, and you wince upon impact. Instantly, he soothes the skin with a gentle pet. “Your tits are… perfect.”

Perfect? Your cheeks and aching pussy heat up at the compliment.

Squeezing your chest, Jungkook brushes his thumbs over your pebbled nipples. He pays extra attention to the silver barbells, decorated with little sparkly peaches at the ends. “These are new,” he notes, tugging on the jewelry. You let out a breathy moan, legs clenching together, inner thighs embarrassingly wet. “Sheesh,” he laughs, “someone’s sensitive.”

“Yeah… keep going.”

“I like them. They’re cute on you.”

Throughout your acquaintances, Jungkook was rarely this vocal. Maybe some praise sprinkled in here and there, but seldom anything substantial. Tonight, however, he’s been dishing out sweet talk like candy. You can’t pinpoint precisely what, but something’s changed.

Whatever it is, it fills you with awful, wishful hope.

Jungkook shuffles closer, teasing the teat of your pierced bud with his sticky tip. The dreamy sensation has your eyes rolling back into your skull. A glob of spit drops between the valley of your breasts before he spreads the wetness over your skin with his shaft. He has to use a death grip to force your tits into a soft plushness, perfect for him to slot himself into. Again, you feel that fucking ring embedding itself into your skin like a nasty tick. 

Cautiously, he guides his pulsing cock between your constrained breasts. A beautiful symphony of groans lulls out as he throws his head back in pleasure, long locks dancing along his clammy neck. 

“You like that?” You hum, taunting him. “Tell me how it feels.”

It takes him a minute to collect his thoughts, eyes trained on your tits pillowing around him, focusing on the dewy sheen of your nipples and chest as his oozing cock spills onto your skin. “It feels-” his hips stutter, “-so fucking good.”

The way his teeth snarl around the hushed curse makes you smile, eyes closing as you relish in his pleasure. Maybe you’re too horny, or perhaps the blood rushing to your head from being upside down for so long is making you crazy, but you wish you could live in this moment forever. Wallowing in the darkness, frozen in time with him. Yeah, you think, that would be wonderful.

“You can touch yourself,” he comments, spotting your clenched legs, desperate for some pressure. 

“S’okay,” you mumble, reaching around to caress his balls. His thighs tremble a bit against your arms. “Just wanna make you feel good.”

“Can you-” he grunts, stomach clenching as he begins to feel that familiar pooling in the base of his thick shaft. “Hold them for me. I’ll take care of you after, just- let me cum.”

Obliging, you replace his hands with your own, squishing your tits together for him. The visual of you lying under him, complacent and willing, sends him spiraling. A guttural roar echoes throughout the empty road as he speeds up. “Tighter,” he orders; you listen. The saliva and precum are beginning to rub off, making the friction of his chaotic thrusts sting your skin. He notices, letting another string of spit fall from his mouth onto your flesh. “Be good and take it. I’m almost there.”

By now, Jungkook should know you’d endure any pain to be with him. 

The darkest parts of your brain tell you he’s well aware of that fact. 

After a few more humps and lulled words of encouragement, he’s bursting at the seams. Just before he blows, Jungkook steps back, tight fist jerking himself frantically as he spills his seed onto your chest. Your eyes dart from his angry cock to his fucked out expressions. The moonlight shines behind him like a glowing aura as he finishes with a scrunched nose and his tongue between his teeth. He looks angelic. You moan under him, flinching when a stray spurt lands on your chin. 

Fucked out and dazed, he laughs softly, running a hand through his hair as his chest heaves. Collecting the liquid with his finger, he brings it to your giggling lips. The taste makes you hum as you lazily begin rubbing his cum all over your tits. 

“Really?” He asks with a raised eyebrow. “You’re already starting?”

“Starting what?” You pout, batting your lashes at him and circling your nipple lightly with the tip of your nail, trying your best to look oblivious and innocent. Well, as innocent as you possibly can while literally covered in sperm. 

“Don’t play dumb. You know what you’re doing.”

See, in many ways, Jungkook is different from any other guy you’ve been with prior. For one, you didn’t meet via horny messages on Tinder at 1 a.m. For two, he’s older, meaning he’s much more intelligent and much more experienced. After years and years of honing in on his craft, he just knows how to fuck. Jungkook is one of the rare few penis-havers in the world who can orgasm back to back; no refractory period necessary. Truly a hidden gem. 

To put it simply, the man is a fucking faucet—one that you can turn off and on whenever you want. 

As if on cue, Jungkook twirls his inked finger, indicating for you to turn around. The other hand squeezes his cock just below the crown to cut off circulation, keeping himself erect. With that, your white converses are planted flat onto the sparse grass as you bend over the back seat, leaning your weight on your elbows. 

It's like whiplash when Jungkook's aggressive persona drops, and he's running his hands all over your body. Up your thighs, over your back, down your arms. He blooms petal-soft kisses on your bare shoulder before whispering in your ear. “Can I go in like this? Or do you need some foreplay?”

“This is fine,” you murmur, jarred by his sudden tenderness. “Perfect, actually.” 

With a hushed ‘alright,’ Jungkook reaches over you to rummage through the pocket of his discarded blazer. A heavy sigh escapes your lips as he pulls out a square foil packet. Condoms were an unwavering constant in your weekend escapades. Jungkook always wears condoms. Normally, that would be a great thing; however, in this situation, it’s like a stab to the heart…

Because if he’s adamant about using protection with you, then that means he’s still sleeping with her, doesn’t it? And it’s not like you can even ask or scold him about it. She’s his wife, after all. You’re the outsider. 

Jungkook hooks his thumb into your panties and pulls them aside. Your glistening folds are on full display, waiting to get pounded mercilessly right on the side of the road. He shoves three digits into your mouth, letting your drool on them a bit before pressing them to your wet cunt. Opening your folds with his index and ring fingers, he lightly dips the middle inside you. He collects some arousal and spreads it to your clit in feathery flicking motions. You cry out, feeling the shocks of a blossoming orgasm. 

“Already dripping, I see.” You can practically hear his cocky, satisfied grin as he stands straight and rolls the condom down his length. “Always so sensitive.”

“Mhm,” you nod frantically, “I always get like this with you.”

“I know you do.” Pulling a cheek to the side, Jungkook cards his sheathed tip through your entrance, making sure to nudge under your clitoral hood with every swipe. Lewd wet sounds ring in your ears as he tortures your hole relentlessly. 

“Kook,” you huff, reaching back to dig your manicured, almond-shaped nails into his skin. “Just put it in!”

Suddenly, Jungkook slams your torso onto the leather. In one swift motion, he’s catching your wrists, pinning them both to your lower back with a single hand. 

“I’ll give you what you want just-” releasing the back of your neck, he spanks you so hard you recoil, “be patient.”

Despite his words, you wait no longer than a minute before he’s guiding his dreamy member right where you want it. Jungkook always gives in quickly. How could he not when you’re ass up, face down, and practically begging? As he sinks into you, and you feel that familiar burn from the initial stretch, your eyes roll back, mouth opening around a silent scream. 

Usually, Jungkook likes to overwhelm you with his entire length all at once. There’s some hesitation this time as he slides in only halfway before stopping. Too much hesitation for your liking. You’re confident he’s testing you. Your assumption is verified when he speaks in that annoying, condescending voice.

“If you want it so bad, come get it.”

“You’re so,” breaking free from his grasp, you press your palms into the seat and lift yourself up with a grumble, “infuriating.”

He hums halfheartedly, head dropping to watch you work yourself onto him. Only a single stroke in, and he can already see you coating him in a shiny, milky dew. “So fucking wet…”

“Can’t help it,” you peep, taking him to the hilt and circling your hips, trying to savor the feeling. You’re no stranger to his cock; how good it makes you feel. You spend every Friday night bathing in that pleasure, forgoing parties and hangouts with your best friends for a romp in the five-star hotel sheets with Jungkook. Still, you squeeze your eyes shut, trying to commit his touch to memory. Perhaps, despite your denial, you recognize that this is temporary. Deep down, you know that someday, all you’ll have left of him is a tragic echo. “I love the way you make me feel.”

“Me too,” he gasps, guiding your movements as his fingers dig into your hips. Clearly interpreting your admission differently than you had meant it. “Your pussy’s like heaven.” 

High on praise and drunk on the sounds you’re coaxing out of him, you whine, dragging your cunt up every inch of his throbbing length before slamming back. Hopefully, the dense forest behind you is enough to insulate the pornographic wails ripping through you. Even if someone somewhere hears, you can’t bring yourself to give a damn. Not when heady pleasure and adrenaline course through your veins like blood. 

Just when you’re about to collapse, arms giving out underneath you, Jungkook grabs you by the neck and holds you flush against his toned chest. “Don’t you run,” he chuckles. The low baritone rumble goes straight to your clit. His warm breath gusts over your skin, contrasting the chilly night air. “Don’t give up on me.”

He’s pounding into you now, choking you tighter than he ever has, but he pecks you so delicately. Lips barely ghosting over the shell of your ear. So gentle and tender. As tears stream down your cheeks for the second time tonight, you can’t help but feel there’s a hidden meaning behind his words.

“What’s wrong?” He smirks, tilting your face, wanting you to look him in the eye as you fall apart. The visual nearly makes you combust. His stringy hair is sticking to his cheeks, flushed from exertion. Even the tattoos littering the expanse of his neck are splotched pink and red. Twisting in his hold, you grab a fistful of his damp waves, fingers tickling his short undercut. “What do you want, baby?”

“Cum…”

“You wanna cum?”

“Please, please, please.” Weak whimpers punch out of you in tandem with his brutal thrusts.

“What do you say?”

“Please, sir?”

“Good girl,” he rewards you with a smack to your sensitive clit, “you can cum. I’ve got you.”

And with his permission, you’re cumming. Your legs shake violently as you’re overcome with blinding, electric gratification. If it wasn’t for Jungkook’s strong arms supporting you, you would’ve toppled face-first into the seat. He fucks you through the height of your orgasm; hips never ceasing, even when everything becomes so intense and sensitive that your body instinctively tries to push him away. He watches your face intently, reading your expressions to ensure he’s milked every last drop of your orgasm before he lets you fall onto the leather.

Even in your hazy state, you catch the breathy string of curses, a telltale sign of his own impending orgasm. “Fuck!” He groans, removing the condom to paint your ass and lower back in hot, white ropes. 

It’s funny, really. 

He refuses to cum with you or inside you, something so intimate and special, but he has no qualms cumming on you. It’s almost like he’s marking you, burning himself into your flesh. Consuming a piece of you every time your bodies come together as one. 

And all the while, his mind is somewhere else as his body swallows you alive. 

“Look at you,” Jungkook laughs, smoothing a palm up and down your spine, rubbing his semen into your skin the same way you had earlier. “I’ve made a mess out of you.” 

That’s true in more ways than one…

Lost in post-nut clarity, your brain barely registers Jungkook maneuvering you both into the car. Closing the door behind him, he moves you onto his lap, your back pressed against his sweaty button-up. Peering down, you see his slacks and boxers still around his ankles, black dress shoes poking out underneath. You’re in only a thong and sneakers, and your makeup is definitely melted. The two of you must look like the biggest sluts ever.

“What’s so funny?” Jungkook mutters, noticing your delirious giggles. 

“Oh, nothing,” you hum, leaning into him. Habitually, he wraps both of his inked arms around your middle. You despise how incredibly natural and serendipitous it feels, almost like you’re meant to be in them.

God __, get your head out of the clouds and return to Earth. 

Life isn’t a romance novel, and you’re not a child anymore. You shouldn’t see the world as quartz-colored and magical. The man is seven years older than you. He has a wife and child. Logistically, it could never, ever work…

But if soulmates exist as they do in the books, you wish on every falling star that Jungkook is yours.

“What are you thinking about?” You coo softly, turning your head to stare into the abyss of his infinite eyes.

Like a moth drawn to a flame, he can’t resist lowering his sinful hand to your most private area, cupping your sex unabashedly. “I want more.”

“You always want more.” 

“So do you,” he laughs, pointing out the way you grind into his touch. Nuzzling into your shoulder, he nips your skin and then soothes his tongue over it like an insincere apology. “Just one more time, okay?”

You nod, head leaning back on his shoulder as you succumb to his skilled fingers, rubbing your clit in tight circles. Jungkook pauses in contemplation before popping his glistening fingers into his mouth. When the taste hits his tongue, his face contorts. He even moans dreamily like you’re the most delicious dessert he’s experienced. The scene has your own brows furrowing, lips parting at just how hot and bothered he’s got you. 

Sensually, he trails the wet pads down, ghosting over a nipple, teasing you on their treacherous journey to your waiting core. He slides them in your wet cunt seamlessly, curling right into your g-spot. They move in a dip and wave that drives you wild, a wet suction noise sounding in the enclosed space. Turned on by your purrs and mewls, Jungkook subtly ruts against you, his plumping cock sliding between your cheeks.

“You’re already close, aren’t you?” He tuts patronizingly. “Gonna cum around my fingers, sweetheart?”

“No…”

“No?”

“Wanna cum with you…”

He stops, realizing what you’re alluding to, before pulling his fingers out and tapping your clit gently. “There’s another condom in my pocket. Can you hand it to me?”

“We don’t need it.”

“Yes, we do. Don’t be foolish.”

“... I’m on the pill,” you suggest hesitantly. Once again, you’re nothing but stupid and irresponsible when it comes to Jungkook. You just want to be with him, that’s all. 

“__,” he starts, voice shadowed with sternness, “give me the condom.”

Realizing he won’t budge, you do as he asks and fish it from his blazer, watching idly as he goes through all the steps—stroking himself to full mass, rolling on a barrier, and then positioning you between his spread legs as he guides you down onto his length with a hand on your hip. 

Cyclical. 

Like clockwork, your jaw drops, eyes screwing shut as you let him invade your space and infiltrate your mind. You don’t believe the two of you have ever tried this position before, but it feels so fucking good. His cock is so deep you can feel it in your fucking stomach. It’s obvious from his groaning and the aggressive spank he gives you that the unexplored angle is affecting him too. 

Outside, light rain begins chiming against the steel roof of his car as you take the first shallow rise of your hips. 

Scratch everything you’ve said about this not being a romance novel.

Distracted by the calming sound, you thoroughly miscalculate how much space you have in his sleek Mercedes Benz and bonk your head on the ceiling.

“Ow,” you wince with an embarrassed giggle.

Hissing at the impact, Jungkook clutches your head, massaging the area gently. “Are you okay?” His voice is muffled, and you can tell he’s trying his best not to laugh. 

“It’s not funny!” You shout playfully, slapping his knee. 

“No, it’s not. I’m sorry.” Chuckling, he moves your hair and places a gentle kiss between your shoulder blades. “You’re cute, that's all.”

Cute? You swoon. 

“Alright baby, keep going. Don’t stop,” Jungkook orders, the heel of his calloused palms pushing at your ass, encouraging you to bounce on his needy cock. A fucked-out sigh escapes him, head falling back for a split second before it jerks back up again, not wanting to miss the view of your perky cheeks rippling as they collide with his solid pelvis. “This position is so sexy.” Overwhelmed, he doesn’t know where to put his hands. He chokes you for a moment, plays with your tits, swats them, grabs your hips, and then finally settles on your clit, flicking it like a light switch.

“Jungkook!” You wail, knees knocking together as you brace yourself. Men you’ve dated in the past struggled to get you off. Sure, they made you feel good, but they couldn’t quite bring you to the edge. It only ever took Jungkook a matter of minutes to have you whimpering and shaking, begging for release. “I can’t take so much! I can’t!”

Ignoring your pleas, Jungkook pilots your right arm around his shoulder, sending you flush against his frame once more. Dipping his head, he sucks the closest nipple into his mouth. Caught off guard, you’re so overstimulated that your hips come to a grinding halt.

“Move,” he commands with his lips sealed around your piercing, sending dizzying vibrations to your sensitive bud. 

“I can’t,” you whimper, back arching off his chest as you try to calm all five tingling senses. 

“Yes, you can.” 

“No…”

Jeon Jungkook was never one to take no for an answer. 

Scooting further down the seat, his large hands clasp behind your knees. He lifts your legs until the heels of your white sneakers are on either side of the driver’s headrest. In this new position, he’s able to pound up into you freely, relentlessly beating into clenching walls. Hitting every single delicious spot inside of you. “Jungkook, please!”

“Please, what?” Honestly, you have no clue what you’re begging for. All you know is that his mushroom tip rigorously stimulating your g-spot is going to have you gushing at any moment. His guttural, sensual groaning does nothing to slow your approaching orgasm. “You want more?” 

As if you weren’t already gasping for air, Jungkook raises your legs to your head, knees locked onto his inner elbows. His fingers intertwine behind your neck, thumbs pressing into the base of your throat as he folds you in half. 

A full fucking nelson. 

“Watch me fuck it.” With a stern grip, he forces your gaze to his thick shaft, sliding in and out of your sopping cunt. Your vision is watery, but you can clearly see just how turned on you are, creamy juices coating his entire shaft. “Open it, baby. Watch what I do to you.” 

Reaching both hands under your thighs, you spread your lips, getting a better look at him completely destroying you.

“Isn’t it so pretty?” Jungkook grunts, speech slurred as his arousal lulls him into a delirious, catatonic state. “Tell me what you see, baby.”

“So pretty, Kook.” You’re simply playing into his dirty talk, but the sight of your bodies connecting, becoming one, is profoundly gorgeous. “So wet…”

“Yeah? Who’s pussy is this?”

“Yours.”

That sends him into a frenzy, thrusts becoming so punctuated and violent that his cock accidentally slips out. 

“Put it back in, put it back in!” You chant, frantically shoving his length into you. The yelp you chortle out is accompanied by the sound of your hand smacking against the foggy car window as your climax engulfs you. “I love it!”

“I love yo-”

He quickly cuts himself off, but everything stops when the sentence fragment hits the air. 

Is your brain playing sick, twisted jokes on you… or was he really just about to say he loved you?

Before you can even process what’s happening, your biological responses take over, sending through the most earth-shattering, world-bending, mind-boggling orgasm you’ve ever had. Everything goes blank. Your eyes cloud with splotches and stars. Your ears ring with static and white noise, blurring the sound of Jungkook cumming underneath you, and the pouring rain outside, splashing against concrete. 

This time, he doesn’t pull out, just works through both of your orgasms with gentle ruts and vulnerable whimpers.

After you’ve both calmed down and your heaves have diminished to a slow, even pattern, he pulls out, crumpling the used condom into a loose napkin he found in the center console. Still on his lap and in his arms, you watch intently as Jungkook leans his head back, eyes closing as he inhales deeply. To you, he looks almost… peaceful. 

The moon trickles in through the thin streams on the window, reflecting on his face like stained glass—something that was once so clear and pure now jaded with somber shades of blue. Sad, but still beautiful, you think. 

Delicately, you trace a finger over the black ink decorating his skin. You sit silently for a while, basking in the comfortable aura, simply enjoying one another’s company, before you finally speak.

“Why this?” You peep, pointing to the dainty letters at the base of his neck.

“It’s my daughter’s name.” He counters playfully, the faintest hint of a smile on his pierced lips.

“Well, duh, I know that,” you roll your eyes with a giggle, “but why here?”

“Yul is like air to me.” 

Humming in contemplation, you continue your journey over the endless swirls and loops. During sex, the first three buttons of his shirt popped open, exposing the canvas of his chest. You feel a thick, dark cloud loom over you when you reach a certain tattoo, the one that’s plagued your mind ever since you first saw it. 

Another name is engraved right above his heart in the same delicate font as Yul’s:

Seol. 

“Yul, please. Enough.” If Jungkook had a dollar for every time he's said that in the last twenty-two minutes, he’d be nearly as rich as his boss, sitting directly in front of him on a very important Zoom call. “Daddy is working.”

Jumping at the sudden inflection of his voice, the little girl on his lap pulls her tiny hand away. For the most part, Yul was well-behaved. However, working from home proved to be an obstacle that he and his clingy toddler have yet to overcome. 

She’s interrupted his meeting three times already. First, cutting off his proposal with the Baby Shark theme song, blaring from her Pinkfong tablet that he’d forgotten to mute. Second, peeking above his desk with her space buns and doe eyes to show his colleagues the latest addition to her squishmallow collection. The last straw was when she squeezed his nose. 

With watery eyes and warbled lips, Yul blinks at Jungkook, heartbroken and confused as to why he didn’t make that funny noise she loves so much. Quickly, her gaze averts to her chunky legs, swinging aimlessly as she attempts to hold back the tears.

“Excuse me for a moment,” Jungkook sighs, tacking on an apology before turning his screen off. “Bunny,” he lifts her chin with his index finger, another palm flat on her protruding tummy, “please, don’t cry. You’re not in trouble. Daddy just-”

The ring of a doorbell interrupts him.

“__?” Jungkook questions, baby at his hip as he stands in the doorway before you. “What are you doing here?”

You gulp. You weren’t expecting to see him.

Usually, you spoke to Seulgi. You’ve only ever seen Jungkook in passing, sparing quick greetings before he’s out the door. It worked in your favor, really, because for whatever reason, you felt extremely awkward around him.

Almost like that gross nervousness you get when you’re around someone you find so incredibly attractive it makes you uncomfortable…

Maybe it’s because he’s covered in tattoos and piercings. Maybe it’s because he’s a dad. Your group of fellow horny twenty-something-year-old friends have told you mythical stories and fantasies about older men. Freshly turned thirty-year-old men. Men like Jungkook. Dilfs. Something about that potent dad nut… Like, you know it works. 

It’s inappropriate; you know it is. You’ve always tried your best to ignore the feral thoughts.

Today seems to be putting your mental strength to the test because Jungkook is dressed in baggy gray sweats, long dark hair slicked back into a ponytail. A few loose strands dangle devilishly in front of his eyes, taunting you.

“I-It’s 10… I’m supposed to be babysitting.”

“I’m working from home today. My wife didn’t tell you?”

With wide eyes and hot cheeks, you shake your head. “I’m sorry for bothering you,” you stutter, stepping back and preparing to make a mad dash to your hand-me-down Honda Civic. “I’ll just… be on my way then.” 

“Actually.” An icy grip on your wrist stops you. “I could use some help. This one-” he nods his head towards Yul, stuck to him like velcro, “-is being a bit needy today.” 

One look at her turns your flustered gape into a smile. The past month with her has been more difficult than you’d imagined. Yul was incredibly sweet and intuitive, but unbearably shy. Building a relationship with the girl was challenging, but you were determined to overcome it. “No way,” you frown animatedly, tickling her leg with the tip of your finger, “Yul would never.”

A giggle or two had been the goal. Instead, she buries her face into her father’s shoulder.

“Don’t take it personally,” Jungkook orders, noticing the defeated slump in your shoulders. “She’s always like this with new people.”

Seulgi had warned you that Yul would take a while to come around. Hopefully, it’ll happen organically. But for now, a little gift or two wouldn’t hurt your efforts, you supposed last night while running errands. Reaching into your purse, you pull out a bottle of non-toxic, baby-friendly nail polish. “Yul, look what I have!”

“Wow,” Jungkook plays along, gently nudging her head out of his neck. “Bunny, look!”

He calls her Bunny? 

You’re in for it now. 

Plump fingers wrap around the plastic, taking it out of your own with an awe-stricken stare. She holds it up right in front of Jungkook’s nose. “Pink.”

“Mhm, that’s right,” he confirms, pecking her temple. “Now, Daddy has to get back to work. Can you stay with __ for a bit?”

She looks at him, then at you, then at him again, then back at you, and finally, landing on the nail polish, giving her father a reluctant nod. You knew it would come in handy. Despite her agreeance, Yul still stretches the neck of his shirt with her tiny fists as she’s transferred into your arms. 

Somehow, you managed to survive that painfully awkward encounter…

Only to be thrown into another one immediately after. 

See, you’ve always known Yul was a daddy’s girl. On good days, the toddler would grab you by the hand and guide you around the house, giving you a tour of everything that belonged to her father. His shoes at the door. His coat on the hook. Even taking you into the bathroom to show you his shampoo bottle. But that fact was never more apparent than now, as Yul stands in the middle of the living room on the verge of tears.

“Daddy?”

“He’s working, sweetheart. Remember?” You coo on your knees in front of her. You’re quick to redirect her. “I like your shoes.”

The sniffles stop as she glances down at her white sneakers. “Mine…” she takes a hesitant step back, mistaking your compliment as an attempt to swindle her out of them. 

“That’s right,” you laugh, “they’re so pretty, just like you.”

She blinks at you for a moment, and then begins stomping her little foot: heel first. When she’s finally able to kick off her left shoe, she bends all the way over, pressing her palms flat against the hardwood floor. It’s the most uncoordinated way you’ve ever seen anyone pick something up. 

Without warning, Yul throws the shoe across the room. Well, that had been her intention, you assume. She had cocked her arm back too far and released too early, making it land behind her. 

Oh no, she hates you. 

With an excited grunt and a bounce, Yul points to the sneaker—its clear sole sparkling pink and purple.

“Oh,” you sigh in relief. “They light up?” 

“Yesh.” Plopping right onto her butt, she takes the other one off, repeating the process. “Like this!” Her arms stretch out and she clenches her two little front teeth, executing the most stellar charade of a light you’ve ever seen. 

It’s a small breakthrough, but you’ll take it. 

Then you paint her nails, just like you said you would. She’s as patient as a toddler could be, but her tiny toe keeps curling under the tickle of the brush, making pink polish bleed outside of the lines. 

“My goodness,” you groan, admiring the messy, albeit adorable, result. “You’re so cute! Wait until your dad sees you.” 

Yul shrieks wildly, smacking both hands over her mouth as she hobbles to her feet. You watch with confused giggles as the milk-drunk baby stumbles down the corridor. You figure out where she's going too late. 

Yul stands on her tippy toes, jumping to click open the door to Jungkook’s office with a loud creak. 

“Yul!” You whisper-shout. “Don’t-”

“Daddy!” She calls, stepping a single foot into the room, showing off the fresh paint job. “So cute!” 

Literally, your only job today was to keep Yul preoccupied while Jungkook worked, and you failed. Your breath catches in your throat, awaiting his response. 

“So pretty,” he gasps, “now go play, baby. I’m almost done.” 

A relieved exhale flies past your lips. 

Something you’ve picked up on from years of babysitting is that little girls aren’t allowed to compliment themselves. They’re always told it’s rude or conceited. Jungkook does neither, and you find that so refreshing. 

“Close the door, please,” he orders before she runs away, “gently.” Yul does her very best to shut the door quietly and then sprints back to you. 

The next few hours go smoothly. You discovered that the green-hating toddler has an affinity for avocados after giving her a bite of your toast. “Mmm!” She had hummed, looking at you with wide eyes. With a full belly and squishmallow in hand, Yul went out like a light for her afternoon nap, giving you time to catch up on some reading. 

“How was she?” You didn’t even hear him come out of his office, so the deep voice makes you jump, eyes tracking the sound. He’s leaning against a kitchen counter, one tattooed hand stuffed in his pocket and the other wrapped around a water bottle. It’s a thick one too, and his fingers still touch. 

“Better,” you cough, “she’s sleeping now.”

He hums halfheartedly, dark irises boring into you as he takes a sip. Without Yul to soften the edges, Jungkook is… intimidating, to say the least. “What are you reading?”

“The Catcher in the Rye…” you peep, quickly closing it. “I know, it’s kinda lame.”

“No, not lame at all. Anyone who thinks that is lying to themselves… or is just being a contrarian.” He leans his elbows against the dark granite island, fingers crossing as he stares at you. You’re sitting idle across the room, but his presence looms over you. He has this way of making you feel like he’s in your head, listening to everything you’re thinking. 

You pray he’s not. If he is, you'll definitely be fired. 

“I can’t tell which one you are yet.”

You can’t tell if he’s joking or not, but the ‘yet’ makes you come clean, shifting in your spot on the leather couch. “... Both.”

“Right,” he smirks, tongue fiddling with his lip ring, almost like he’s taunting you. “That’s one of my favorite books, actually. I relate to it in many ways.”

Your fingers dance across the red cover, concealing hundreds of pages of isolation, emptiness, and the heavy dread of passing time. What an awful thing to relate to. Sometimes, when you get too engrossed in the text, glimmers of yourself bleed within the lines too. 

“You’re an English major, right?”

“Oh, um, I’m not in school at the moment… I just read for fun.”

“Well, you have an Associate’s degree.” Him knowing that information about you makes you think he asked the previous question with the intention of baiting you into this conversation. “Why not get your Bachelor’s?”

“I don’t know. It’s… complicated.” 

Why is he interrogating you? What does he want? For you to confess that the fear of becoming a full-fledged adult makes you not want to go back to college? 

“Life is complicated. You’d be ridiculous to not go back.” The audacity should make you mad, but he speaks with so much authority that you’re dumbfounded. His head tilts, eyes squinting as they shift to the ceiling, debating something. His tongue clicks when he finally makes his decision. “Follow me; I have something I want to show you.” 

With the curl of two thick fingers, Jungkook calls you to follow him down the hallway. You blink for a moment, gushing at the suggestive motion of his hand. Shaking your head at the evil, intrusive thought, you rise to your feet. 

Just like a child, you have to skip to catch up to his long strides. Your gaze trails along white walls; there are pictures of him and Yul, Yul and Seulgi, but not a single one of them all together. 

Now that you think about it, any affection you’ve ever seen in the household was reserved for Yul and Yul only. Seems like trouble in paradise…

You shouldn’t speculate.

The heavy wooden door creaks as Jungkook holds it open for you. You’re not sure what you expected his room to look like, but it certainly wasn’t this. The rest of the house is pretty modern, consisting of sleek blacks, whites, and woods. Countertops designed with icy swirled marble. Everything has this cold, impersonal vibe, but this room is the total opposite. The walls are baby blue, decorated top to bottom with dreamy clouds. You spot a chubby yellow star peeking out from underneath one of them, adorned with a hand-painted smiley face. On his nightstand, there’s a pastel purple foldable record player. Standing behind it is a single vinyl: Beautiful Boy by John Lennon. 

“Since you like to read,” Jungkook coughs, turning your attention to a sleek bookcase, stuffed to the brim with hundreds of titles you’ve never even heard of. “I figured you’d appreciate my collection.”

“Yeah, it’s…” The words trail off as you step forward. On a whim, your finger extends, tracing the delicate spine of a well-loved book. A low chuckle brings you back to reality; you peep, cheeks heating up in embarrassment as you yank your hand away. “It’s… really cool.”

“You can borrow something if you’d like. Does anything catch your eye?” Plopping down onto the computer chair, Jungkook rummages through his desk drawer and pulls out a tiny black case. You didn’t even know he wore glasses, and when he nudges them comfily onto the bridge of his nose, you nearly melt. As if he could get any more attractive.

“N-No,” you stutter as he wheels closer. Even though you’re towering over him, you still feel so small in his presence. You pray to God he can’t sense how incredibly nervous he makes you. “Not really.” 

“You wear your heart on your sleeve, you know,” he hums, low and sly. “Do I make you nervous?”

“No!” You peep in shock. Is the man a fucking mindreader? 

“Right.” Jungkook peers over the rim of his lenses, dark eyes glimmering in the whimsical glow of the room. “So __, what do you want to be?”

“A teacher,” you say, playing with your fingers.

“My wife wanted to be a teacher, too.” He shoots you the softest, gentlest smile. “She ended up doing business instead.” 

“Why?” You ask, gnawing on your bottom lip. You don’t mean to pry, but this is the first time you’ve ever actually talked to him in a meaningful way. Something about him intrigues you, like a puzzle you’re determined to find all the pieces to. 

“Ah, well,” he sighs, inked fingers scratching at the back of his neck. “We figured it’d be best for our family if we both pursued more lucrative career paths. I switched my major from English to finance.” You light up at the confession, the similarity putting you at ease. “I’m sorry if I was abrasive earlier,” he frowns, “I settled down young and had to sacrifice a lot, so I encourage you to go for something that fulfills you.” With his elbows on his knees, he leans closer to you. “I think you’d be a fantastic teacher. You take care of my daughter well.”

“Thank you,” you peep, cheeks heating up at the compliment. “I mean… you didn’t have Yul that young.” He tried to comfort you, so it’s only fair you do the same, right? “I think your late twenties are a great time to have children.”

Almost immediately, his face drops, eyes glazing over with something so raw. So… longing. You’ve never seen anything like it before. The corners of his nose twitch before he composes himself. “Yeah, I suppose they are.” His pink tongue toys with his lip ring, swiftly changing the subject. “You seem surprised.” 

“I guess I just wasn’t expecting all this.” 

“Expecting what?” 

“I don’t know,” you laugh clumsily, “books.” You mentally curse yourself as soon as the answer comes out. Really, __? Books? 

“What?” He starts, raising a brow at you. “You thought I couldn’t read?”

Thankfully, Jungkook takes your comment playfully. 

“Maybe,” you respond in the same lighthearted manner, feeling a bit more comfortable in his presence, “I also didn’t expect your room to look like a little boy’s room.”

All of the cheerfulness in the air evaporates as Jungkook glares at you with a clenched jaw and flared nostrils. Cleary irate. You’ve triggered a landmine.

“Jungkook, I’m-”

“Stop talking.” He raises a hand, cutting you off before you finish the sentence. Turning his back to you, he wheels over to his desk. “You can leave. You’re done for the day.” 

Looking back, you know why he was so upset that day. You had put the puzzle pieces together a while ago. You’re unsure of the details, and asking for them feels wrong. Silence feels wrong, too, though. Until now, you’ve never dared to speak up. 

You have no idea how to navigate something of this magnitude, but you just want him to know that you’re here. That you’re trying.

Cautiously, with your hand still on the tattoo, you whisper: “He must’ve been so beautiful, Jungkook…”

The thumb that had been drawing soft shapes into your side comes to an eerie pause as he freezes under you. When you look at him, your heart shatters. His chin is caved in with little dents, eyes glazed over with so much emotion. You’ve never seen a human being look so broken.

“Get off me.”

You frown at the shift in his demeanor. “Why?”

Remaining tight-lipped, Jungkook physically removes you from his lap, dumping you onto the seat next to him.

“Why can’t we ever talk about anything serious?”

He remains quiet as he slides his underwear up, not sparing you a single glance. When he speaks, his tone is painfully detached. “Like what?”

“Like what you said,” you answer curtly. 

“I didn’t say anything.”

“You were about to.”

Shaking his head with a cynical chuckle, he begins buttoning his pants, pretending you don’t exist. Like you’re not right beside him, falling to pieces. 

Your eyes dart to the ceiling, lashes fluttering rapidly as you mull over what to say next. You guess now would be an appropriate time to ask him what you’ve wanted for weeks. Blinking does nothing to combat your unshed tears when you realize that his answer has the potential to destroy everything you’ve been dreaming about. Everything you’ve hoped for. “When are you going to leave her?”

“Don’t be ridiculous.”

“I’m not being ridiculous, Jungkook!” Shaking your head furiously, you feel the first hints of anger in your chest, tears threatening to spill at any moment. “I’m not! I see the way you look at me!”

“What the fuck did you think was going to happen? Huh?” Finally, he’s paying attention to you, just not in the way you hoped. His face is beet red as he leans closer. “Don’t tell me you actually thought we were going to end up together, __. Seriously? You’re my babysitter! You’re seven years younger than me! This isn’t some fucking fairytale; it’s life! There’s no such thing as happily-ever-afters—grow up and stop acting like a damn child!”

“No, Jungkook,” you croak, fully sobbing as you push an angry finger into his chest. “You’re the one who’s acting childish! I may not be the most mature person, but at least I know how to accept love!”

“So let’s say I divorce my wife, then what? Huh?” He seethes. “I get partial custody? I only see Yul on weekends? Every other week? She grows up in a broken home? I refuse to ruin my daughter’s life like that.”

You take a shaky breath, eyes shifting to the car floor, the air fresher on his mirror, the window. Anywhere but him. The way Jungkook explains your make-believe future together is nothing how you envisioned it. Maybe he’s right. Maybe he’s just a fucking asshole. Neither thought process eases the pain.

“But you’re okay with ruining mine?”

For a moment, his features soften, and you see a glimmer of guilt wash over him. It fizzles out just as fast as it came. “You’re being dramatic.” Jungkook steps outside, tucking his shirt into his pants. “Get dressed.” 

With jittery hands and blurry eyes, you grab your discarded lace bra, the one you had bought just for tonight, and slide it on your shoulders. When you pick your shirt up, you see that it’s ripped and tattered. Completely destroyed. 

“Here,” Jungkook mumbles, tossing you his blazer as he watches you in the rearview. 

Once you’re dressed, you awkwardly slide into the passenger seat. The scent of his cologne makes your head pound and your stomach flip. 

“I want to go home.”

His lips part, preparing to persuade you otherwise. The hotel room he booked is ready and waiting, just as it is every Friday. He decides against it, simply murmuring an ‘okay’ before putting the keys in the ignition and starting the engine. 

“Do you want to get something to eat before I drop you off?” 

You just want your dad. 

“I just want to go home.”

Other than the whoosh of splashing puddles and your soft sniffles, the ride to your house is painfully silent. Leaning your head against the window, you watch the moon. For miles and miles, it never changes. It’s stagnant, frozen in time, surrounded by nothing but endless blackness. 

“Stop crying! I can’t stand it anymore!” Jungkook shouts, hitting the steering wheel with his open palm, finally growing uncomfortable from your non-stop tears. The sudden outburst makes you flinch. Sighing heavily, he pinches the bridge of his nose. “I’m sorry for yelling at you. Just… stop crying, please.”

You sink further into your seat, curling your lips into your mouth to suppress a sob.

“I’m not worth your tears, __.”

You feel nothing but relief when he finally turns onto your street, stopping all the way at the end, concealed by the night and the shadows of overhanging trees. 

“Am I picking you up next Friday?” He asks just before you leave. 

With raw cheeks and a scowl, you slam the door in his face. 

Your feet are so heavy that the sidewalk sinks under you like quicksand. No matter how many steps you take, the comfort of your house seems out of reach. Too far gone. Confusion weighs on your shoulders. You should feel proud, empowered even, but that voice in the back of your mind smothers any sense of relief. 

Deep down, you know this isn’t going to be the last weekend you spend with Jungkook. 

© chryblossomjjk 2022 [do not copy, translate or repost]

[wileys-russo]

What about a fic for alexia where she tries to get reader to do her makeup for her for events and alexia always distracts her bc of how close they are. After putting on the lipstick alexia always kisses and leaves lipstick stains on reader and smudging it so reader has to keep reapplying it.

lipstick stains II a.putellas

"baby are you nearly dressed?" you called out from the bathroom, focused on straightening your hair as your girlfriend confirmed she was. the two of you were expected at an event in just under an hour and it would take about forty minutes to get there, with it being mid season you knew alexia wouldn't drink so she'd already said she'd drive the two of you.

"okay, that will do." you nodded, happy with how you looked as you put the straightener aside to cool off, finishing off your makeup by very carefully doing your eyeliner. "no." you firmly ordered your girlfriend who appeared behind you in the mirror, moving to wrap her arms around you.

"i'm concentrating and you'll knock me." you warned as the older girl pouted but respected your wishes, leaning her back against the sink as you felt her hazel eyes watch you carefully. "stop staring." you smiled, kicking her gently and moving to do your other eye.

"i'm not staring hermosa, i'm admiring." the footballer replied charmingly as you finished and nodded happily. "finally." alexia sighed dramatically, instantly wrapping herself around you, lips pressing themselves against the back of your shoulder.

"you look perfect, as always." she complimented sincerely, kissing your cheek and grabbing your hand and your makeup bag. "ale what-" you started as she sat herself down on the edge of your bed, dropping the bag beside her.

"do mine now, please." alexia requested, and you noticed she'd done her base but purposefully not finished the rest of her makeup. "you do this every time and yet every event im shocked at how fine you are with making us late." you sighed with a shake of your head, your girlfriends hands finding your hips and tugging you to straddle her lap.

"if you work fast we won't be late." the older girl smiled cheekily as you smacked her shoulder and rummaged around in the bag beside her. "close your eyes and relax your face, try not to frown." you ordered softly, hand grabbing her chin as alexia did what you asked, ring clad hands settling on your thighs.

"alexia." you warned as they began to wander, sliding gently upwards towards the hem of your dress, teasingly playing with the end of it as you swatted them away. a slight smile tugged at her lips as you made quick work of her eyes, tapping her shoulder that you were finished.

"which one?" you offered out three different shades of lipstick as alexias eyes narrowed, pointing to the one she liked best after a moment. she puckered her lips expectantly and you stole a quick kiss before uncapping the lipstick, again reminding her to stay still.

"my eyes are up here baby." you teased as the girls hazel orbs continued to roam your chest, the dress you had on with quite the plunging neckline, exposing the tops of your cleavage. even more so to your girlfriend as you continued to lean into her, giving her a perfect view down the front of your dress.

in hindsight you should have taken that as your first warning sign.

"all done. come on, we'll be late amor." you finished applying her lipstick, thumb just wiping a slight smear and trying to get up, but her hands gripped your hips holding you firmly in place.

before you could even blink her lips were on yours in a messy clash of teeth, lipstick and tongue. "alexia!" you pulled away with a slight gasp, glaring down at the girl whose lipstick was now smeared all over her face, and yours.

"oh lo siento." the girl pouted with a sarcastic smile. "we're going to be so late." you huffed, rolling your eyes and grabbing a makeup wipe and the lipstick. "stop!" you warned as you grabbed her chin and carefully wiped off the smudges as she again slid her hands underneath the hem of your dress.

"baby you have something on your face." alexias hand reached up to carefully wipe a smudge from your bottom lip as you finished reapplying her lipstick. "hold still, there's more." her other hand gripped the back of your neck, pulling your body flush into hers.

again without warning she smashed her lips to yours, holding you captive with a hand firm on the back of your neck, the feverish kiss making your head spin as she pulled away just as suddenly as she'd attacked you.

"ale no!" you groaned as her lips started to press kisses along your jaw, no doubt leaving bright red stains on your skin. "baby do we really have to go to this event? we're already late." the older girl purred in your ear, teeth tugging teasingly as your earlobe.

"we promised." you exhaled shakily, closing your eyes as her lips traced their own treasure map along your neck. "did we?" "i mean...i guess something could come up." "could it?" "maybe." "do you feel sick carino?" "mm i have a fever." "well we can't go if you're unwell, can we?" "no, i guess we can't."

you couldn't help but let out a belt of laughter as alexia stood, easily picking you up and dropping you down onto the bed, crawling on top of you. your eyes widened at the sight of her, hair messed up and lipstick smeared all over her face, grinning wickedly as she hovered above you.

"i've wanted to rip this dress off of you from the moment you put it on bonita."

[whatsaninterestingplacethisis]

Lovers

Imagine

Mat Barzal x Latina!reader

Synop: y/n locks eyes with a stranger one night and it leads to uncertain 'relationship' between the two; a one night stand leads to too many nights.

a/n: no smut but very suggestive, y/n is emotionaly unavaliable 😪, in a way i replace the smut with humor bc i think im funny 😔 angst + fluff, black cat reader x sunshine Matt in a sense ? Im indifferent w this work >:/

cw: mentions of drinking, cussing, suggestiveness

+

That stupid little red dress. The one you kept pulling down as it hiked up every step you took. That's what the oversized black leather jacket was for; to save the hassle but it didn't do much besides keeping you warm.

That same little red dress is on your bedroom floor, alongside with your black boots and his jeans with the belt still looped in them.

You locked eyes with him that same night in that crowded bar. You would never take him home but they way your makeup held that night and how the dress fitted you, it gave you confidence to do so.

It was difficult to fall asleep right after, the adrenaline had warm your body, too hot to sleep. But after some cooling down and examining his sharp facial features, you fell into a slumber.

+

With a well rested sleep, especially after that night, you woke up early. Fortunately so, you had plans with some friends late morning. You showered and thought of how to remove the man in your bed.

After getting dressed and putting your dress in the hamper, you picked up his discarded clothes from last night and messily folded them and chucked them at his bare back.

"Wakey wakey, no bakey." you sarcastically said in a loud enough voice to wake the nameless stranger. You were sure he had told you his name but had forgotten.

The nameless stranger stirred and moaned as he flipped over under the sheets. He rubbed his eyes trying to focus on your dressed self at the foot of the bed. You could see a smirk creep on his face as he realized what happened last night.

"Get dressed." you demand in a softer voice this time. You made your way to your side of the bed and started to make the bed, prompting him to actually move and get dressed.

"Jeez, no good morning or-" he finally sat up and started to put on his boxers,

"No. I have plans and can't have a stranger in my house." You walked around to start to make his side of your bed.

He stood up towering over you, "you did last night." he said with another smirk of his, his chest was bare and he messed with his belt buckle.

"Not alone in my house." you tilted up to look at him, moving him out of the way with your hips, folding the sheets back over.

You grabbed his shirt and pushed him with it towards the front door,

"I would like to see you again." he said as he quickly slid his shirt over his head,

You laughed, "I'm sure you would, bye bye." you closed and locked the door after him and continued to get ready.

+

The next weeknight you were relaxing after work, eating dinner on the couch watching some tv. As soon as you placed your bowl down, you heard soft knocks at your door.

You looked through the peephole and your eyes widened as you saw the same face of the guy who was in your sheets a few days ago.

You opened the door ajar, "What the hell are you doing here?" your eyebrows furrowed together.

"I wasn't joking when I said I wouldn't mind seeing you again." He stood with his hands in the pocket of his sweatshirt.

"Maybe you don't understand the concept of a one night stand but it usually happens only one night."

He laughed at your explanation, "I know what we did. I'm just saying if you don't mind, we can hang out again."

"I don't want to be in a relationship or even date for that matter." you opened the door more as to where the conversation was going.

"Neither do I." he stated to your surprise.

"Are you implying to be fuck buddies?" you whispered the term as you two were having the conversation in a public hallway.

He struggled to hold back a laugh, "In a few words, yes."

"Okay." you relaxed against the door,

"Okay?" he questioned not understanding your answer,

"Yeah, sure." you agreed to the relation.

"Cool, we should share numbers then." he pulled out his phone and passed it to you. The new contact page had your name typed out in the right box.

"You remember my name?" you looked up at him after typing your number in.

"Yeah, what you don't remember mine?" he joked expecting a laugh but you still couldn't remember his name. He saw the slight worry in your eyes and smiled,

"It's Mat." you passed his phone back and he saved the contact,

"Sorry," you said sheepishly.

"No worries." he said as if he had been embarrassed too. But he kept standing there.

"Do you want to- tonight?" you asked indifferent of his intentions when coming over to your place.

"I mean I wasn't expecting it on my drive over here but I'm down..." he leaned forward onto the doorway.

With his face inches way from yours, you leaned forward, caressing his loose hair strands,

"I'm not. I'm on my period, so goodnight Mat." you pulled away from the tension and slightly pushed his chest away.

“Wait. We could still hang, watch a movie or something.” he tried to negotiate but failed,

"Yeah, no. Text me in a week and I should be free, goodnight." you quickly closed the door before he could speak anymore.

+

Mat had given you a full week to meet up again and it was awkward at first on your behalf. The first night with him after the bar really only happened with the help of alcohol but to plan accordingly sober was very different.

He called you, not texted, and gave you the option to see him at his place or yours. You told him yours to lessen the anxiety.

It was silly you thought. Panicking over sleeping with a guy who had already seen you naked. It was probably the fact that he wanted to see you again in that state that made you overthink so much.

But at the end of the night he came, he also came to your place.

And it became a system. He called to see you. You texted to see him. It went on for months of pure sex. Nothing else as you pledged the second time you saw him. But there were moments were he broke his pledge. Moments where he was becoming more of a friend than a fuck buddy.

I.

When he had time the mornings after he was generous to cook you breakfast,

"Wakey wakey, eggs and bakey" he mocked you from the first morning. He brought you a plate of a simple but nutritional breakfast and a glass of orange juice to his bed.

You groaned to be woken up but loved the smell of food in the morning, "Is this all for me?" you asked half asleep, reaching for the fork but he pulled the plate away,

"No, actually it's just for me. Your plate is in the kitchen." he deadpanned. Still half asleep you slowly blinked at what he said.

"I'm just kidding," he passed you the fork, "Just a joke because of your lack of hospitality from the first night." you noted he wasn't going to let that go for a while.

"I said I was sorry but that night was different from what we have now." you said before taking a bite of your food.

"I know. It's just fun teasing you." he said softly as he watched you eating his food.

This was from the first weeks. You had kept some walls up because from your standpoint it was all and only sex. But something about Mat forced you to open with him. With a smooth transition, the two of you became friends with benefits from fuck buddies.

II.

Mat found it easy to let your walls down by making you laugh but in other words he teased you, so he laughed at you but it all good and fun when you teased him back.

From the very beginning Mat favored talking over the phone rather than text. For your relationship, texting seemed easier and more practical because you didn't mind him just sending 'are you free?' and that be a sign that he wanted to come over. But no, for him he always wanted to have a long conversation about whatever and end the call with, "okay I'll be on my way soon."

And you always obliged, when you texted first he wouldn't text back but immediately call. So one night you decided to ignore his calls and just text him. You knew it would annoy him so even better for a small joke to play.

y/n

hey are you free after practice?

mat

Missed call

y/n

i can't talk right now

mat

Missed call

y/n

so are you free or not?

mat

Missed call

y/n

i guess not

mat

Why are you not answering my calls??

y/n

I just told you.

mat

Incoming call

After you laughed at your own entertainment you finally answered his call, contradicting what you had said.

"I thought you couldn't talk right now." he said through a grin, knowing you were lying.

"I didn't want to talk but you always want to." you admitted

"That's because I like hearing your voice. Although I can hear the sas in your texts just as fine."

"So are you free or not?" you had to get to business before he asked you more questions-

"How was your day?" he asked like always.

You rolled your eyes, "It was fine. Are you free?"

"Mine was pretty good too. Practice went great actually, thanks for asking." he said very sarcastically.

"Mat.'

"Yes?" he said too cheerful

"Are you free?"

"Like right now? Or in a couple of hours. I'm still kind of sweaty. Unless you like that type of stuff-"

Without hesitation you ended the call. Not that you were mad, just a bit annoyed but you knew it would make Mat desperate leaving him high and dry.

mat

Missed call

You kept declining his incoming calls and didn't bother to text because if he did want to see you tonight he would eventually text.

mat

I'll be there in an hour

y/n

:)

+

III.

A different morning you felt him twirling your hair in his hands,

"What are you doing?" you muttered into his cold sheets

"Trying to braid your hair." he whispered back, fully focused on trying to figure out a pattern.

"Don't. You'll just knot it even more." He didn't give up until a minute later because he was in fact knotting your hair.

You turned around after you felt his hands drop,

"Can you teach me?" he asked

"Youtube it." you whispered with your eyes closed

"I'll learn quicker from you." you felt his hands lightly touch your cheek making you lock eyes with him.

You quickly maneuvered to pull him in by the back of his neck. He smirked awaiting for a kiss, but you pulled his shaggy hair causing him to squeal,

"Ow?! that hurt." his eyes turned sad with his pouted lips,

"I just wanted to see how long your hair is. Not long enough to braid." you massaged the back of his head to soothe the pain.

You sat up straight and pulled your hair forward to slowly teach him a three strand braid. After a what felt like forever he kind of got it.

IV.

Overtime Mat broke your walls completely and you enjoyed every second talking and being with him but there were moments that brought you back to reality. The reality of what the relationship was.

It was Valentines day and you hadn't thought anything major about it. Mat would be busy that night like he mentioned before so you would spend it alone.

If he was free he would spend the night like always but you thought it would be weird to buy him something because you're only friends as you reminded yourself many times. You didn't expect anything from him either.

But he took you by surprise by showing up at your door with a huge bouquet of roses and your favorite chocolate.

"What are those?" you asked baffled from your door

"Rosses and chocolate obviously." he said with a smile

"I thought you said you were busy tonight." you still couldn't believe he actually got you something.

"I lied. I wanted to surprise you."

"Well I'm surprised!" you finally moved to let him in, taking the abnormally large bouquet of flowers to place them on your table,

"I didn't get you anything." you admitted waiting to see his disappointment,

"That's fine. I assumed you expected nothing but I still wanted to get you something. Being with you tonight is enough." he walked towards you and kissed you. It was a different kind of kiss than all the ones you shared before. This one felt genuine and not of lust. It was slow and as he deepened the kiss he was careful to not be so rough.

You felt your heart twang and your stomach fill with anxiety like from the very first nights. Even though you reciprocated with every motion in your body, you pushed him away. You stared up at him questioning everything that had happened to lead up to this moment,

"I'll make it up to you," you tried to change your train of thought.

"How?" he had that smirk on his face again

"Don't act dumb." you began to push him towards your bedroom,

"Wait, what about your chocolate?" as if he cared about the damn chocoalte.

"We can eat it after."

You had to change the scenery quickly to avoid those thoughts. You tried to excuse his behavior as him being nice but you knew too well it was more than that.

"Here's your chocolate, my sweets," he bowed to you in your bed. He had never used an endearing nickname before but you let it slide like all the other things.

"Thanks," he climbed back into your bed taking a piece for himself,

"So I was thinking," he said while chewing,

"Oh that's not good." you joked,

"Ha ha" he sarcastically laughed, "You should come to one of my games. I can get you a good view and maybe you'll like it."

You swiftly gasped almost choking on your chocolate, "Me at your game?"

"That is what I said, yes." he cleaned some chocolate off your lips with his thumb, catching you off guard.

"Okay, sounds fun I guess." you said with very clear uncertainty.

"Doesn't sound like fun,” he laughed at your nerves but reassured you, "I want you to see me play in person, it's only one game. And if you don't like it or we lose miserably I'll make it up to you."

"How will you make it up to me?" you smirked to yourself,

"Don't act dumb." he whispered into your ear, kissing your cheek and neck making you squirm.

Moments like these, filled with bliss made you forget all your worries. But the hours before the actual game, your nerves sank back in.

You dressed accordingly and sat in the stands trying to follow the game. Seeing Mat distinguished by his number felt surreal almost. It was a side of Mat you didn’t indulge in often or at all.

He talked about hockey every now and then but it was very brief. To see him skate as fast as he could was shocking. To see him get slammed into the boards was more than shocking but concerning.

You were alone in your seat. Trying to follow the quick pace game. Looking around at the fans with his jersey number. You felt like an outsider even though the player himself had invited you to be there.

When the game ended and the Islanders had won you weren’t bored. You were glad you saw Mat play in person and see the team win. Mat gave you instructions where to meet him after the game.

After some wrong turns and almost giving up trying to find the locker room, you found a sweaty Matt walking in the halls,

“Hey you made it!” he jogged up to you for a quick hug and a quick kiss. Another action of Matt that surprised you. The two of you never kissed in public.

“I want you to meet some of my teammates.” His body radiated of excitement and giddiness.

“Sure,” you agreed with fake excitement. You were definitely not expecting such socialization with Matt’s close friends.

He introduced you to his teammates as a ‘good friend’ with an arm wrapped around you the whole time. The whole situation was nauseating. His teammates were kind but the whole thing was very confusing; as to what this introduction was or what you and Matt were.

You were able to end the introductions early when you told Matt you didn’t feel good, which wasn’t that far off from the truth,

“Are you okay to drive home?” he asked

“Yeah I’m just have a bad headache.”

“Okay I’ll see you tonight then?” Matt had planned to be with you after the game but you felt it would be better to have some time alone,

“Actually I think I’ll go asleep alone tonight. I’m just worn out.” you tried your best to lie and it barely worked.

“Okay I’ll call tomorrow.” You hum in agreement before almost running out of that arena.

On the drive home you felt your heart beat faster than you ever felt before. Things were getting too real you said to yourself in the car.

You and Matt had promised since the very beginning that this wouldn’t be anything more. But that promise had long been broken. You knew things had to slow down or stop completely, but only one of those options were possible.

+

You thought it would be best to see him at his place rather than your own. So you called him,

“Y/n calling me? It can’t be.” He joked

“Mat can I see you later tonight?” You asked in all seriousness ignoring his joke,

“You know you can y/n.”

“Great I’ll see you later.” You kept the call short, ignoring his calls right after.

When he opened his door for you, he cradled your face and smothered you with kisses. Something he sometimes did when he was in a happy mood.

You hated yourself for what you were about to do,

“Matt we need to talk,” you pushed him away only to see him lean in again, “What? Is it about the game? I thought I had pretty good night. What did you think?”

You despised how your eyes started to tear up but you kept a straight voice,

“We need to end this.”

“What?” He laughed as if he didn’t hear you correctly.

“Whatever this is. Things are getting too personal. They have been for weeks now and I should’ve been more persistent but I am now.”

“What are you talking about?” His hands dropped from your arms to his sides,

“Whatever this was is over.”

“This is over? Just like that?” He scoffed starting to become agitated, he didn’t understand where this was coming from,

“Yeah how else would you end a fuck buddy relationship?” You retaliated in attitude and nerves.

“But this isn’t a fuck buddy relationship! Not when I’m love with you!”

Mat never failed to surprise you but you should have seen this coming.

“You don’t mean that.” you unconsciously replied.

“The fuck I don’t!” His frustration was making things difficult so you had lied next,

“There’s someone else.” You tried to hold eye contact to make things believable but Mat knew better,

“Who?”

“You don’t know him.”

“So you see commitment in this ‘guy’ but not with me? The man you’ve been fucking with the past months.”

“That’s all it was Mat, it was just sex.”

“Thats bullshit! You’re telling me that you don’t feel anything more for me than just a fuck buddy?” His eyes looked dark with sadness and tears welling up,

“I told you from the beginning that I wanted nothing more. You promised too.” You lowered your voice to lessen the awful tension.

“Well I guess I broke that promise.” He stood there waiting for you say something but you didn’t know what else to say. So he broke the silence,

“Y/n, I’m in love with you.” his voice wavered,

“Mat.”

“I love you and you’re scared of being with me fully but I can wait because I don’t believe there is another guy.”

“Mat stop.”

“I’ve been in love with you probably since the very beginning and I’ll still love you for a long time.” He rambled trying to reach for your touch but you had to conclude things.

“Mat, I don’t love you.” You said harshly to get your point across.

You moved his arms from reaching yours, “There is another guy and I need to keep my options open while I’m young. You should too.”

“I’m sorry.” You whispered leaving his apartment.

+

It had been weeks when you broke his heart. He didn’t give up even after that horrible fight. He continued to call and text. He even showed up to your place but kept silent.

You tried to not cry for him or the ended relationship. It wasn’t fair or right but it had to be done. That’s at least what you told yourself every night before going to asleep.

Mat would find someone better and move on. It would be like nothing ever happened between you two. Just lost in history.

He eventually stop calling and showing up at your door. It was the first steps to finally moving on you told yourself.

“Who’s ‘M’?” Your friend had pulled you from your thoughts.

“Huh?” You were making dinner for your guest as it was rare to have her over.

“This.” She showed you the polaroid. It was the polaroid Mat had toke of you one of your mornings.

~~~

“Stop snooping.” You watched him walking around your room, observing your shelves and tables.

“I’m not snooping. Just looking.” He grabbed the white polaroid you had gotten as a gift from your shelve.

“Now you’re touching.” You said from the comfort of your bed,

“Say cheese.” He climbed over you to take a picture,

“It’s too early for a photoshoot.” You held your hands up blocking the lens,

“C’mon just one photo,” be begged trying to move your hands,

“I don’t feel pretty.” You pulled your comforter above your face,

He leaned down to slowly pull down the comforter, “You always look pretty,” he whispered as he softly kissed you.

Catching you off guard he took a quick shot of you smiling. He wrote the date and his initial in sharpie after snooping in your desk.

~~~

“He’s just some guy.” You say nonchalantly avoiding the possible topic.

“Did he take this picture?” Of course she asks,

“Yeah he did.” You replied,

“This isn’t the same guy from that bar right?” You didn’t tell her much about Mat. Just that you were seeing someone very casually.

“He is actually, or was.” You tried to focus on the chopped vegetables rather than the sad eyes Mat looked at you with.

“What do you mean was?” She persisted and you gave in explaining everything.

“Hold up. This guy obviously cares about you, even told you that he loves you and you turned him down?”

“This is why I didn’t tell you everything.”

“Because you don’t want to hear the truth that this guy loves you. Love. The things everybody wants. And you just give it up like that.”

“He wasn’t supposed to fall in love with me!”

“Why the hell not!? He had every reason to. Do you love him?” You hated how she asked the most difficult yet important questions.

“I don’t know.” You said half heartedly.

“You don’t know.” Her eyes pierced yours as you kept lying to yourself and others over and over again.

“It would never work me and him! He has a busy schedule and-“ you start the excuses,

“Oh but not busy enough to fuck each other!”

“Y/n be real. Let’s put the lies and excuses away. Why can’t you let yourself be happy for once while you have the chance?”

“You don’t understand. I broke his heart. I saw it in his face when I told him I didn’t love him. I don’t deserve to see him again or to ask for another chance.“

“Well I think everyone deserves a second chance. And if he truly loves you, he can understand your point of view.”

She forced you to see him again. You still couldn’t see why you should let yourself be happy even after breaking his heart. But you were on your way to his place with the same pit of anxiety in your stomach.

You didn’t call or text before to see if he was home. You didn’t want him to decline your request before seeing him in person, so you knocked on his door.

The moment he opened the door your heart ached. His face was visibly sad and his eyes red. You wanted to run away again but you couldn’t feel anything but pity and guilt.

“Can I come in?”

“Sure” His voice was deep and raspy. His face lacked emotion except when he saw you, he didn’t think he would see you again.

The silence of the apartment was deafening and uncomfortable, but you took a seat on his couch, signaling him to do the same.

“Mat, I am so sorry for the things that I said and did throughout everything. I didn’t mean any of it.”

You paused to collect your shaky breath and thoughts,

“You’re right. I am scared to be with you fully because you’re the most important and life changing thing that has happened to me and it terrifies me. From the beginning I only wanted something simple with no strings attached but then everything started to become so real without us even discussing it! I can’t blame you for treating me like how any girl dreams to be treated, I just wish we had slowed down and talked about things first and then maybe I wouldn’t have lied about there being someone else. Because there isn’t, I mean how could there be when you’ve been always by my side? What im trying to say is that if somehow you don’t hate me, hopefully we can start again?”

You could hear your pulse banging in your ears when he didn’t say anything. He just looked at you indifferently but still with those red eyes.

“You’re right too. I was in the wrong to continue things like we were official and not talk about it. I should I have said something earlier before I asked you to meet the guys. Maybe before Valentine’s Day too, that was probably a surprise.” He laughs at his lighthearted joke to soothe the tension, making you laugh too with tears falling down your face.

“You brought me a bouquet the size of a tire, so I was a little bit surprised.”

Both you laughed at how ridiculously huge those flowers were but of how sweet the gesture was. Mat broke the sweet silence with a question that had been left unanswered,

“Y/n, do you love me?”

You sympathized for him, the look of sincerity and incandescent love he had for you. You nod your head with a tearful smile.

He breaked into glossy eyed smile as he reached over to embrace and kiss you. A replica, but somehow better, kiss of the Valentine’s Day one. A slow but passionate kiss of pure adoration and love. He pulled away after what felt enough for now,

“I have to hear you say it though,” he states

“Say what?” You licked your lips eyeing his before meeting his eyes,

He slightly cocked his head to the side, “Don’t act dumb.”

“I love you, Mathew Barzal.”

[binsito]

I loved your idea of hannie with his nail tech crush.. yk what i think though? OBVIOUSLY the nailtech kinda knows abt this little crush of his. She doesnt know how severe it is but she does notice the way he blushes slightly when she compliments his hands, or the way his eyes sparkle when she finally giggles at one of his jokes. Also who am i kidding the nail tech obviously ALSO finds hannie v v cute and v v hot bc,,,, he's hannie??? He's charming and handsome and he keeps his fingernails clean soooo maybe the next time he comes around, and she is feeling a little frustrated bc her own hands aren't enough fun for her.. she'll hint at wanting his fingers inside of her? Maybe she'll be kinda distracted and shy this tine or maybe she's bold and just straight up teases him by saying things that could be considered dirty but also might just be his pervy mind interpreting the wrong thing. Aaa idk i'm not a writer but yourw giving my head THOUGHTS

OHHHH MYGOD. thank god you left this ask bc i was dying to write more for this JASHDJA

warning: fingering, hand worshipping, swearing, slight perv!han jisung, lmk if i missed anything but it's pretty tame

wc: 914

hannie has to act normal.

hannie has to be cool.

hannie has to act like he doesn't go home after every appointment and edges his cock thinking about how nice it would be to have your lips wrapped around his tip.

so when he walks into the salon, straight into your suite and takes a seat at your chair - he makes a mental promise to himself that:

he. will. not. get. hard.

he won't get hard if you hold his hands, it's all part of your job.

he won't get hard if you smooth lotion on him, it's just a courtesy.

he won't get hard if you compliment his nails, they're only pretty because you made them pretty.

"hannie do you even put your fingers to use?"

what?

"you come here so often and yet they're rarely chipped or overgrown. you must not lift a finger." you smile.

oh.

he felt so stupid, of course he read into it in such a dumb, perverted way.

"you must take good care of yourself hm?"

fuck.

why couldn't he be normal? why couldn't he just have nice, clean thoughts? why was he getting hard? why couldn't he just keep his promise?

"your hands are always soft. i wish i had nice fingers like you. they're long and pretty.."

he clears his throat and laughs awkwardly. he was being such a loser.

"oh yeah.. they're definitely long, alright.. hah.." he says

who the fuck says that?

he literally wanted the ground to eat him up.

"yeah, they are. longer than mine." you giggle as you work on his polish.

"yeah.. way longer.."

and why he kept going? only god knows, but he definitely noticed your face flushing (and was he crazy or were you pressing your legs tightly together under the table?)

hannie doesn't think he's ever seen you this quiet, this concentrated on his hands before. after the conversation died out, there was no other topic to bounce off of. and normally han jisung would just start talking about random shit, would tell you your hair looked pretty or that he noticed your subtle eye makeup and that it looked nice.

but not now.

not today.

"hannie have you ever had problems reaching things with your fingers? i-it could just be because mine aren't as long as yours but.. you know they're never quite enough to reach."

"oh uh.. n-no but do you need help reaching something? i could help.."

"could you really? that's so sweet of you, hannie.." your smile could melt him into a puddle. you smile at him so sweetly, just for him and han jisung can't really handle that well.

"so what is it you need help with? something too high up or-"

"well.. i just can't seem to cum. doing your nails frustrates me so much. they look so nice so why can't i have them inside of me?" you pout at him.

the wind feels like it was knocked out of him. he thanks god that you have your own little suite and no one else was around to hear that.

"f-fuck, are you serious? holy shit, why didn't you say something sooner?"

"well because i'm a little shy and because i wanted to finish doing your set first, of course..

you really mean it though? will you actually help me?"

"yes.. fuck, yes i'll help you."

his eagerness was cute. unluckily for him, he still had to wait for you to cure his gel polish. his leg bouncing impatiently as you gave him a look to quit it.

he smiled shyly and let out a nervous chuckle as he tried to contain himself. once you were done, he damn near jumped out of his chair towards you. you put some of your supplies away and walked past him to lock the door. as soon as he felt the coast was clear and no one would walk in, he grabbed you - kissing you deeply and pressing you against his lean body.

it was an intense kiss, full of want and desire but you welcomed it because you had been feeling the same way. you pulled away slightly to grab his wrist, bringing it up towards your mouth so you could take two of his freshly manicured fingers in between your lips.

you made sure to get them nice and wet, saliva connecting them to the tip of your tongue when you pulled them out.

han jisung felt weak.

he found himself pressing you against the nearest wall, your pants long forgotten as he pumped his fingers inside you, finally leaving you fuller than your fingers ever could.

the pads of his fingers massaged your gummy spot and curled against it making your knees buckle. it was all too perfect and better than you could ever imagine. you knew the orgasm he was going to pull from you was going to be intense. you felt it bubbling up already and he hadn't even been touching you for long.

but when he brings his other hand forward to rub at your clit and you look down to catch a peek of his baby blue nails, you lose yourself to him and feel yourself cream around his fingers. clenching your cunt tightly against them, not wanting him to ever pull out.

however when he does pull out, he makes sure to have you watch as he sucks your essence off his fingers. rolling his eyes back at the taste and humming in satisfaction.

please refrain from reposting, modifying, translating, copying or stealing my work. - © binsito

[babybluebex]

i keep thinking about falling for co-star Dom…becoming more and more affectionate on/off set, spending all of your time off together…and yet you both walk around telling everyone “we are just besties lmao” because you’re both oblivious as hell

no bc i really love this idea, like being his co-star in the next movie he makes after holdovers and he has a lingering anxiety, wondering if holdovers was a fluke and he isn't actually good at his job, and then he meets you at the table read for the film and he's head over heels instantly, your smile and laugh are infectious, you've done your studying for the film and your part, a pro in every sense of the word (also helps that he thinks you're stunningly gorgeous, even in your fresh-off-the-plane sweats and cap at the table read)

your characters play a married couple, and he sees the headlines criticizing the casting decision of him at 21 and people saying he doesn't look old enough to be married and that makes the anxiety and doubt creep in even more, but he has to put it aside, and you make it easy for him to ease up

filming your scenes together, and your director is very free and easy, she lets you and dom sorta feel your own way through scenes and how your characters would act, and she's very open with "if you feel like you'd say/do something a different way, go for it" and you notice that dom seems to be doing the classic actor move of Making A Choice where he's always looking at you? but eh whatever your characters are married and he's leaning into the "good husband" trope

but you're always giggling together and cracking jokes on set, and after you wrap for the day, you will both go back to dom's trailer and accidentally cosplay as a couple, you'll cook dinner together and watch movies and more often than not, you'll fall asleep on his couch, and it happens so often that crew quickly figures out to go to dom's trailer to get you for hair/makeup

the end of filming is getting close, and you have to start doing lil interviews for promotion and for digital release as "special features", and you're asked about working with dom and you're complimentary "oh he's so good at what he does, he knows what he wants to do, very secure in his character, and other than that, dom's just a good guy, it's super easy to like him and to be pretend to be in love with him" and you later ask what dom said about you and he seems avoidant a little? "oh yknow, just that you're a good actor and a cool person and good friend" like oh! ok! cool!

once you wrap, you're immediately onto another project, and you and dom sorta lose touch, it's not planned, you just both get busy, but you reunite for the press tour and it's like no time has passed, you're back laughing and cracking jokes together, best friends forever, and dom starts being very?? outright flirty?? it used to be more lowkey but the press tour is like he's turning it to 11, he'll fix your hair for you if it's falling over your shoulder weird and mumble "beautiful as ever", and like will say something "our director was really good, she believed in us and gave us flexibility in our characters... right, baby?" and looks at you and you're like "oh! i'm baby!" and he laughs "f'course you are, you thought i was talking to someone else?"

and it becomes A Thing of how you two are flirting and everyone thinks you're definitely dating, especially when you roll up to a film festival and have a dress malfunction, your zipper breaks while you're actively on the carpet in front of the cameras, and dom doesn't hesitate for a second before he's taking off his suit jacket (blatantly violating the dress code of the film festival in the process) and putting it on you to help hide the gaping zipper in the back, and eh whatever it's a beachfront venue and it's cold and windy, you'll take his jacket

and everything comes to a head when, at the film festival, dom is once again asked how it was to work with you, and he basically rattles off andrew garfield's "she was a shot of espresso, being bathed in sunlight" speech, and you can't hold it back anymore, you HAVE to talk to him, and you do, it's terrible timing because you're minutes from going on the panel for your film but you need answers NOW, and you ask "why would you say that stuff about me?" and he's confused "didn't you... i thought you'd like it?"

"i do! but people think we're dating, and that didn't help!"

"jesus, i'm really sorry... i was just— i thought you'd understand by now, but i guess—"

"understand what??" and you're like oh crap. oh CRAP!!!

"i think i've loved you since the first day i met you" he says "but you never— and it's nothing you did wrong, it's ok that you don't feel the same way— you never said anything back so i just assumed you didn't understand so i kept putting it on thicker so you'd get it, but... i see it now, i'm sorry, i-i'll stop"

"i... dominic, i'm so sorry... but i really am just so fucking dumb, i thought you were just being a good friend and that i was reading too far into it... but i really like you. a lot. i like when you call me baby and help me with my outfit, and when you take pictures of me on your little kodak and when you let me have the last bite of your dinner, and i love how your eyes get all big and glassy when you look at me, like you're trying so hard to let me see myself as you see me... i know it's so much to ask, but—"

and he reads your mind and draws you into his body, and he kisses you like he needs to breathe, his hands firm on your waist as you card through his perfect curls, and you both get lost in it, for a moment the world is only you and him, but that ends quickly when you're being told that you have a minute before the panel starts, and you sorta laugh when you see dom's mouth tinted and streaked by your lipstick, and there's no time to fix that, so you smooth down his hair as best as possible and watch blush fill his entire face and neck and ears, and you sit next to each other at the panel, fingers locked together, grinning at each other like lovesick fools

becaue you are. and always have been. <3

[sourapplesauces]

Hey!!!! You should uhhh infodump about your FNAF AU, that would be really cool. If you want. Especially stuff about Vanessa maybe, she's my girl

Hi! Thanks for the ask! I always wanted to infodump abt this but I never found an outlet!!  

Gregory Alavarez

12 years old  

Argentinian  

Vanessa offered to get him a haircut, but he preferred the messy shaggy hair 

Has amnesia about his past life; he doesn’t remember his parents 

Vanessa caught him trying to pierce his own ears, later she took him to a proper piercer. 

When asked why he got the piercing, he said it was to match Freddy 

Has a tough bad-boy exterior, but he's softer when in Cassie, Vanessa and Freddy’s company 

Has like really good grades, he's a smart kid. 

Has a lot of sleepovers with Cassie where they just chill playing video games and doing each other's makeup and nails 

He also likes drawing and programming 

He gets night terrors, and a lot of nightmares of memories that aren't his 

He also HATES the dark, and he's a little bit claustrophobic 

Owns a TON of Freddy merch and he decorates his bedroom with it 

He sees Freddy as a parental figure, but he’s too shy to express it. 

Is GGY/patient 46

Vanessa Alvarez

24 years old 

Inspired off of her first poster where she had wavy hair and freckles (I just added a tooth gap bc I thought it looked cute.) 

Lesbian

Has little recollection of her time as Vanny, Afton put her to sleep most of the time- but she's had visions and physical scars. 

Pre-help wanted: her personality was bubblier, she had hobbies like baking, gaming and cosmetics. 

Post-security breach: she’s more on the quiet side, she can get anxious and depressed at times. But shes keeping her head up for Gregory (and she’ll learn to do so for herself as well). 

As for hobbies: She likes to read now, and she still bakes occasionally 

Can be unintentionally rude sometimes 

Her parents are deceased (backstory later ...*wink wink*) 

She lived at the Pizzaplex for a while, but after the savior ending she got a brand-new apartment to start things over. 

Vanessa and Valerie (tape girl) were romantically involved at some point, but were torn apart by glitchtrap 

Freddy and Gregory live with Vanessa in her new apartment  

Vanessa has legally adopted Gregory, but their dynamic is more sibling-like than it is parental. 

Glamrock Freddy 

His immobility slightly bothers him, not being able to express himself properly is the worst part of being just an animatronic head. 

Vanessa and Gregory like taking him on road trips to see more of the world, so much so that Freddy considers traveling as one of his hobbies 

Vanessa and Gregory connected him to the internet so he's basically like Alexa now (he's just sentient)

Him and Bonnie are long lost lovers (he hardly talks about it though) 

He's become a reliable source of advice for both Gregory and Vanessa 

Freddy is the peacemaker/glue/dad in the group 

Vanessa has been working for a while to make a body for Freddy, though the lack of parts available for him has slowed things down. They resorted to stealing from warehouses and recycling everyday items to create a makeshift body for him. Though it's only halfway completed in the present.  

He's really good at singing. Oftentimes, he finds himself singing lullabies to Gregory or singing along to tunes during road trips. 

He misses his friends a lot of the time, and he’s still a little frustrated with Gregory for treating them with cruelty. 

Dislikes conflict/ likes seeing the bright side of things  

[fbfh]

tristan dugray with baby fever

STOOOOOOOP PLEASE PLEASE KEEP GOING

no bc we've already established a LOT about Tristin. he's dedicated. obsessivley so, even. once he HAS you he doesn't get jealous in a petty way as much as in a puffing out his chest birds acting eccentric to defend their turf way. when he gets jealous the pda goes in FULL SWING. he is so shameless and has just a little sprinkle winkle of bull energy. so you would think that his baby fever comes from this obsessive lovey dovey I want everyone to look at you and know you're mine place right???????? not quite. like it does but not till later. Tristin's baby fever is soul crushingly gut punchingly triggered by watching you interact with a little kid. Chilton is a k-12 school, so this probably started late in your senior year. there was some little kid who was new and got horribly lost and ended up in the high school building instead of the kindergarten building. you and Tristin saw her hiding behind a bench and you stopped to help her. Tristin stood nearby, watching the way you crouched down and introduced yourself in a gentle voice, the softness of your demenor to not scare her. you told her you get lost all the time, and it's normal for a new school to feel scary until you get used to it. you smooth her hair and tell her chilton is really fun and the other kids are nice. you tell her how great the cafeteria is and how cool the junglegym is at recess. you offer to help her find her kindergarten room, and Tristin watches with wide eyes and changing brain chemistry as you scoop up this adorable little kid wearing a backpack as big as she is and walk over to him.

"This is my friend Tristin. Tristin, this is Lilly. Do you wanna walk with us to the kindergarten building?"

Lilly tries to say hi but hides shyly as you chuckle. Tristin walks with you two all the way across campus as you two show Lilly all the cool statues and portraits, all the old trophys and class photos along the way. Tristin works his magic, charming giggles and smiles out of Lilly as you two turn a terrible first day into a pretty good one. You each hold one of her hands and swing her along as you finally reach the kindergarten building, smiling and giggling right along with her until she's safely dropped off at her kindergarten room. Mrs. Benning, the teacher, thanks both of you profusely. Before you part ways, you give Lilly a hug and high five for good luck. Mrs. Benning sends ahead a note so neither of you get in trouble for missing class, and I swear to god, Tristin does not stop thinking about it for weeks.

Flash forward a couple years, Tristin is almost out of college and ready to step into the marketing department of the family business, just like his parents and grandparents planned. One day he gets a call from his dad, telling him that his cousin Honor's baby shower is coming up soon, giving him the details of when to be there and what to bring, but he kind of stops listening after that. Honor's having a baby? like, his cousin Honor? the one that's not too much older than you and him? he stares at you sitting on the floor in front of a mirror, doing your makeup and wearing one of his shirts with the coffee he made you at your side, and suddenly he can't stop thinking about a little toddler that looks just like the both of you running over and sitting in your lap while you do your makeup. calling you mama, shaking a rattle or whatever toddlers play with, wearing those little pajamas with the feet on them... and now it's all he can think about. he knows his dad and grandpa have had his life planned out for him since before he was born, he always knew the timeline was graduate, marriage, kids, take over the family business and he really never had like... a resentful "I hate my destiny" phase with it. Up until high school he was very much in the "oh that's years away that doesn't have anything to do with me and my life yet" mindset. then he met you. and now, standing in the doorway of your shared bedroom in your shared apartment watching you get ready, Tristin is overcome with desire. he wants you. he wants a life with you, he wants to hear you say that he's the father of your child. he wants an unbreakable, irreversable bond of every possible kind with you. chemical, social, legal, eveything. he wants to cuff you, to lock you in. he wants to sleep at night knowing that your and his babies, toddlers, kids, are sleeping soundly in their cozy rooms right down the hall, that you get to sleep next to your husband Tristin, the father of your children Tristin. he wants to hear people call you Mrs. Dugray, wants to bump up his old man to a grandpa, prove to his dad how a dad should treat his children. he wants to break the godforsaken generation cycle that always seems to come with the generational wealth, and raise your kids to be loved and happy and secure. and in that moment, he speedran through all the stages of baby fever to stage 4 extreme terminal the baby fever is baby fevering kinda baby fever. god help you, the (surprisingly short) span of time between now and when you get pregnant???? he's going to be more insufferable than ever.

I will be writing more about how insufferable and nightmare and evil /pos tristin is with baby fever just not in this ask cause it's getting too long. send me more excuses to talk about this.

[callmearcturus]

just some things i love about the XMAU triumvirate

RAVEN

she is literally The Reason the timeline is different and she is the fulcrum of the changes and is the most important person, i'm not remotely kidding

I really really hate the trope of "smart, level-headed female character who is too good for these dumb men" but Raven's arc from the first movie to the fourth actually justifies it. she starts off lost and stuck in Charles' shadow in XMFC, is emotional and confused and angry and alone in DOFP, is a free agent and a very very reluctant hero in XMA, and by the time she reached DP she's so fucking wise and mature, it's actually CHARACTER PROGRESSION

she did need a push at the start, and when someone helps her grow emotionally, she actually repays that by returning the favor. Erik gave her a way to live without Charles and helped her learn pride in herself, and in return she's the one to be Erik's better angel in XMA after Charles royally screws that shit up. even just the invocation of her is the thing that wakes Erik up from his rage spiral in DP.

likewise, she is the one who over and over and over again voices the Charles You Fuck-Up chorus against Charles. in XMA she calls him tf out for his rose-colored glasses because she's out in the thick of it, she's the boots on the ground where he is not. in DP, she drags his ass for his respectability politics and ego-stroking, and she's fucking right.

taking a character who literally had to hide their identity for most of her life and then making her a literal hero-- all of the younger mutants look up to her, her appearance on TV changed everyone's lives, Ororo literally brings her up the second anyone glances at her painting of Raven. and the clear discomfort Raven feels about that, having tripped into being... kind of what she herself needed growing up, and her complicated feelings about it.

SHE IS LITERALLY THE PERSON CHARLES THINKS HE IS. she is a symbol of the worth of mutants, she is the foot soldier who rescues people in danger and brings them to safety, and when someone is off the deep end and NEEDS to hear the right thing, Charles fucks it up EVERY TIME but Raven doesn't.

she's vulnerable she's a bitch she's a diplomat she's a smuggler she's serving cunt she's got a bigger dick than you she's the ultimate girldad

her makeup and prosthetics in DP are genuinely beautiful, they finally figured out a solution for JLaw's apparently allergy to most techniques and she looks so cool

Ranking Amongst Jean Grey's Dads: Best Dad. Tough love, turns a blind eye when you're doing shots and having a party, probably drives a motorcycle, turned Ororo queer. Will show up to bail you out of jail if you get a trouble but will only ground you for a week.

ERIK

might be the greatest character of all time? he's really high up there, y'all.

lets just lay it out: he's a Jewish holocaust survivor who speaks at least four languages and works as a nazi hunter and is the reason the bullet curved (he was trying to save Kennedy actually). his Magical Girl Power-Up Sequence is tearing Auschwitz apart with his powers, he can control the magnetic fields on the entire planet, he floats in a Sad Snowglobe Of Magnetic Angst. he also becomes a foundry worker with ginger scruff and flannel shirts who sings polish lullabies to his daughter. he also is called in to talk to invading American soldiers and basically tell them Come Back With A Warrant and is savvy enough to avoid letting said soldiers get hurt on his land bc he knows the political ramifications. all of that is FACTUAL.

The first time we hear him speak English, his voice drops into that chasm-deep baritone and I literally went "oh no"

This Bitch Rehabilitated Himself. We joke about how Magneto Was Right but the reality is more complicated. He is certainly more right than Charles, but the gap in his ideology is intersectionality, which is wild given his origin story is Gddamn Nazi Hunter and when he decides to quit The Revolution, he becomes a laborer. All of the elements of his past, warrior to lab rat to revolutionary to dad to laborer, they all synthesize into what he finally becomes. He's a leader who is just as comfortable citing legal precedent and playing spymaster as he is constructing houses.

Punct: "Arc, do you just have a thing for public servants?" Me: "Shut the fuck up. Yes. Shut up."

The sheer physicality of how he uses his powers, how when he is tearing the planet apart, he is serene and calm and when he's in one-on-one combat he's physical and full of motion and feels like he's been doing this for his entire life.

Look: the fight on the train in DP is hot as hell. also it works as an encapsulation of his morals. when threatened, he is ruthless and efficient and brutal. when he's the last man standing between Jean and the villain, he seals the way behind him and prepares to die with a smile and a quip. Erik decides what needs to be done and does it, and if its a thankless, inglorious death, he's ready for it.

The entire dynamic of Raven and Erik. The respect, the love, the fact they definitely fucked and that's behind them but it was important to them both. In DOFP, Erik tries to kill Raven to save the timeline, and the moment her death isn't needed, he goes to her like "Yep, I did that because I thought it was right. Now its not. Here's a bunch of information you need to know." AND IT'S THAT FUCKING SIMPLE. The way Raven views Erik as almost a known quantity, someone reliable and predictable, the trust and understanding they have, SLAYS ME.

HE IS THE ONE WHO HAS TO REHABILITATE CHARLES XAVIER. In the end, it's Charles who has fucked up his life so thoroughly that he needs love and guidance to find his way again, and it's Erik who shows up and is determined he will take Charles home and accepts the responsibility of that decision.

Ranking Amongst Jean Grey's Dads: Second Best Dad, and that's including the time he lowkey tried to murder her. He's STILL second best dad. He's like the dad who didn't get custody in the divorce but when something Bad happens, the kids go to him because they trust him to help them. He can and will help you bury the bodies. He's also easier to be emotional with bc if you get angry, he's ready for it, unlike your Other Dad. And if you need to cry, he'll let you cry on him without asking you over and over "are you alright darling, do need anything, you know if you wanted to speak to a therapist i know seventeen of them" like your Other Dad, no Erik's just like "okay?" and doesn't make it a federal fucking issue. also raven probably has a motorcycle but erik definitely has a motorcycle.

Charles Fucking Xavier

the fakest bitch in the world, the self-loathing king, the addict who can't stop hurting himself, the martyr of martyrs. MCAVOY DID NOT NEED TO BRING THIS MUCH GAME TO THIS ROLE AND YET HE DID.

what makes the XMAU timeline so good is that they somewhere decided "actually, Charles is a liar" and he's not kind of a liar, he's THE liar, and it all pays off in Dark Phoenix when his carefully constructed world comes crashing down around his head.

He never understood how much he loved and needed Raven until she was gone. When she's gone and he finally recognizes who she is, sees her as more than his ward, it's the moment he most needed her. Charles is, at his core, even more than the blunt force metaphor of DOFP, an addict. He needs people to temper him and to tell him no. Left with Hank (basically living which his drug dealer and enabler), he becomes a bitter, fucked up mess who has lost all the joy in his life. He goes from the guy who is SO EXCITED TO SEE NEW MUTATIONS to calling Peter "a pain in the arse," he's just SO cold and lost and bitter and it colors everything about him.

Erik and Raven had this thing he wants, this certainty and understanding of who they each are. When he finally becomes The Professor in XMA, it feels like a pure performance. He can't drink and drug himself to death in the new world Raven has created, so he is going to be the Professor and he has all these little habits and bits of patter that feel constructed to create this shell for him to fill out and become.

AND THIS PRETTY MUCH IS CONFIRMED IN DP because Charles can't do it Erik's way and can't do it Raven's way, so he needs to win in his way, this perfect PR performance of Professor Charles Xavier who can fill your mind with "Help is on the way" at any moment. He will make the world love them because he doesn't know how to handle any alternative. But its the same knife's edge he's been balanced on since the beach in Cuba, the same edge he's been balancing on since Raven was on TV pointing a gun at Trask, the same edge he falls off in DP when he loses Raven, loses Jean, and just like that, the entire world decides to put him and the people he loves into camps. It was ALWAYS right under his feet, and his tightrope walk was always doomed to fail because to keep it going, he would have to sacrifice anyone and everyone who couldn't keep up the same facade he does.

Because Charles is angry. My gd, he is angry. YOU WANT WHAT I HAVE? YOU WANT TO FEEL WHAT I FEEL?!

He lost Raven and blows up at Erik to try to blame him only to get told tf off for abandoning everyone he was meant to care for. He lost Erik because Erik would not become the right kind of charismatic leader and he left Erik in prison for a fucking decade. He lost Raven again for ignoring the realities outside of Westchester, ignoring vicious violent injustices. He lost Erik again because his secondary mutation is the ability to say the wrong thing at the right time. He lost Erik again when he became such a fake-bitch that Erik moved to a remote island just to get away from TV news and magazines lmao. And he lost Jean because he's a liar, even if he's a liar for love. ALL OF HIS CAREFUL PLANS AND NARRATIVES FAIL IN THE END. THEY RENAMED THE SCHOOL AND SENT HIM OUT ON A LONG SABBATICAL TO FIGURE HIS SHIT OUT.

but i love him. he's a complete fuck-up who needs to have people around him to stop him, but I love him because he's wanted to be a dad when he was 12 years old, he finally learns how to say he was wrong, he sits at Jean's bedside and comforts her when she's scared, he non-consensually overwrote jean's memory. he did it to cut out the fact her father hated her and blamed her for her mother's death. he believes in Jean and trusts her in a way only Raven and Scott do in the end. Jean puts him through one of the most grotesque, de-humanizing things imaginable and he still immediately offers himself up to her to look into his heart and trusts her, still trusts her when he should not

he's a fuck-up and loses everything for what is without a doubt his mistakes. and he lives through it. so he has to keep going. and Erik's going to help him.

he once (falsely) accused Erik of taking Raven and abandoning him. in the end, Erik shows up and refuses to leave him. because Charles is a fuckup but the love is there and will always be there. Because I think Charles is only able to hurt people so much because he loves them so much. Anger is just love left out and gone to vinegar.

Ranking Amongst Jean Grey's Dads: Third Best, Second Worst Dad. Gd, he sucks so much. He got Raven killed, he lucked out of not getting Jean killed, he gets kicked out of his own fucking school, even Hank the guy who was his live-in drug dealer for years calls him to the mat. Still better than John Grey, who decided his eight year old child was a murderer and handed him off to a rich stranger and never looked back. Fuck that guy.

anyway you reached the end so i'm here to tell you that the best XMAU movie is DOFP. then Dark Phoenix. then XMFC. then Apocalypse. yes, I'm serious.