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jcmorrigan · 3 years

Note

I saw the tag- I am gonna ask you about the crossover universe- (omg I’m literally gushing about this)

OH, IT IS TIME!

So you can find a lot of this on the “What is the WHAM ARMY?” page on my blog – I’ll try to remember to link it; I’m drafting this in a word processor first so I don’t use it. Essentially, this is the universe I’ve created for my fanfic “Taking Back the Crown,” which is about…basically my favorite villains all moving into the same house and trying to take over the multiverse. And then it got lore. And more lore. Because I cannot write anything normal. The fic is nearing its 150th chapter and I’m nowhere NEAR exhausted of all the ideas I want to put in it – it’s just my big playground for hyperfixation fun. Anyway, here’s a rundown of the major points of it!

THE CAST

The main characters are the eight villains who are the founders of the WHAM ARMY. The faction name is an acronym of their first initials. They’re my ultrafaves, the villains I always get fluttery heart for, and probably the biggest collection of losers you can imagine. I’ll put them in order of the acronym and give you some background on how each entered the team.

Wuya (Xiaolin Showdown) – So the connecting factor between these people is that Mozenrath (his name is a few slots down) is their team leader and the one who decided to build a team in the first place. Wuya was recruited when Mozenrath found her puzzle box in an ancient vault. This is set post-series for XS (and Chronicles is not at all canon), so what had happened is in the big Showdown right after Raimundo was named team leader officially in the finale, the Xiaolin Monks won ALL the Shen Gong Wu to their side and stuffed Wuya in the box. So Mozenrath found her and let her out so they could be pals. A magic potion let her regain human form fairly early on, and her power isn’t even nerfed either the way Chase Young would’ve done.

Huntsman (American Dragon: Jake Long) – ADJL is also post-series in this timeline. Mozenrath has the power to resurrect people from the dead at will because he’s memorized an ancient and incredibly complex ritual that he can execute mentally (note that this means you can remove this ability from him by tampering with his memories). The Huntsman was resurrected so as to show Mozenrath around the old Huntsclan vault (which is where they found Wuya’s puzzle box). No other Huntsclan member survived the purge except Rose (and 88 and 89, but they don’t count and aren’t in this story), so the Huntsman is starting from square one.

Ayam Aghoul (Aladdin: The Animated Series): Basically just got sick of losing. He’d teamed up with a few other rando Aladdin rogues to try and pick a fight with Maleficent, and she sent him packing. So he ended up finding one of the few residents of the Seven Deserts who was powerful enough to match him AND had a similar grudge against Maleficent.

Mozenrath (Aladdin: The Animated Series): The man of the hour and the creator of the entire team. He starts the fic by crashing Maleficent’s KH Disney Villain alliance and trying to add himself to it, but…ends up being such a disrespectful nuisance that Hades just drags him straight down to the Underworld. That moment inspired him to get his OWN band of friends and start making a name for himself.

Archibald Snatcher (The Boxtrolls): Met Mozenrath in the Underworld after his death in film canon. Annoyed Hades one too many times by claiming that he wasn’t actually supposed to die, seeing as he isn’t allergic to dairy (he is), so Hades threw him in the same cell as Mozenrath and…

Roman Torchwick (RWBY): I started writing this fic in 2016, immediately post-V3, so it’s canon-divergent after the last episode of V3 (but I got all the later-game characters to show up eventually). Which means Roman is ALSO dead at the start of this fic. He ALSO comes storming up to Hades insisting he’s not even supposed to be dead. At the same time as Snatcher is already pestering him. Which is how Mozenrath, Snatcher, and Roman end up in the same jail cell in Tartarus and get the idea that maybe they should break back into the world of the living and try to build something BETTER than what any of the three had beforehand.

Mad Madam Mim (The Sword in the Stone): Mozenrath, immediately after breaking out of the Underworld, attempted to take over Arthur’s kingdom by just walking in and throwing magic around. It backfired horribly when Merlin showed up. But then Mim showed up to counter Merlin and realized that maybe she had a potential friend here who was as blackhearted as she.

Yzma (The Emperor’s New Groove): Post-TENG, no KNG or TENS (but I reference things from TENS every now and again). Merlin turned Mozenrath into a rat, so Mim brought him to Yzma’s Secret Lab to change him back. There, they found Yzma as a cat, and she so desperately wanted out of her living situation that she added herself to the team. She was also restored to human form shortly thereafter.

There is a potential ninth member of the core in the form of Vexen (Kingdom Hearts). KH is canon-divergent after DDD and basically ignores almost every game that comes out after Fragmentary Passage. Vexen, as Even, was trying to integrate into life as a hero in Radiant Garden, except everyone annoyed him way too much, so he decided to go be with people that would give right back any insults he dished out. And then realized he was much happier being on the evil team and doing mad science with no ethics. However, he will not be promoted to the upper ranks because 1. it would spoil the acronym and 2. he is unanimously agreed-upon to be the biggest wet blanket of the group and nobody wants him at the founder parties.

(Imagine my disbelief when the actual canon arc for Vexen was THE REVERSE ONE IN WHICH HE JUST DECIDES TO GO LIVE AT RADIANT GARDEN AND NOT BE ANNOYED BY ANYTHING and that’s why JC doesn’t like Kingdom Hearts III)

Anyway, this crew is a bunch of silly friends who enjoy partying, singing, dancing, drag, indulging in vices, causing mayhem, taking over cities, arranging for mass murder, piecing together smear campaigns…but they’re all pretty much ride or die for each other. And that goes double for the ships of the set: Mozenrath/Huntsman, Mim/Aghoul, Wuya/Yzma, and my favorite ship to end all favorites, Roman/Snatcher (RedHatBlackHat is the ship name).

From there, you have a B-Squad of, like, seventy other people based on my faves. Nonnie, I know you saw this because of Vincent Edgeworth, Victor Blake, and Albert Krueger, and they are three of COUNTLESS examples. It’s a found crime family that keeps getting bigger as I get more fave villains and there’s hardly a rhyme or a reason. Currently, they live in a floating fortress designed when they stole Terra Cyclonia (Storm Hawks) and hefted it out into the aether between worlds with crystal technology.

They have a rival hero faction in the form of the Cinnamons: a gathering of people who they’ve wronged who turned out to make pretty good friends themselves. While the WHAM ARMY are the villain-protag team that you feel slightly bad loving the escapades of, the Cinnamons are the rainbows, fluff, sunshine, (secret crippling depression and anxiety), and pep-talkers of the multiverse. They’re the deuteragonist team as opposed to the “villains” of the story. They also have eight “leaders,” but they were picked up a little less quickly than the WHAM ARMY founders, instead coming together over the span of a much longer quest. These people are:

Sora (Kingdom Hearts): Heart of the team and the person who pulled them all together, because Sora loves everyone. He, Riku, and Kairi witnessed the WHAM ARMY wreaking destruction on both Radiant Garden and Disney Castle, and Sora decided no one gets to treat his homes-away-from-home like that and get away with it! Between Mozenrath and the still-looming threats of Maleficent and Xehanort, he’s now collecting pals from all worlds to fight against evil and do as much good as they can do! (While having sleepovers.)

Ruby Rose (RWBY): Before she, Nora, Ren, and Jaune could get into Mistral, Sora interrupted them on their path and directed them right back around to Vale with the news that Roman Torchwick was back in action. After an incident involving the Destiny Trio and Team RNJR having to team up and actually kill the massive Grimm unleashed in the V3 endgame, they all headed out to Radiant Garden together to continue their mission.

Papyrus (Undertale): Sora found him while exploring worlds and they clicked immediately as pals. Then the WHAM ARMY, who was living in Mt. Ebott at the time, sparked an anti-monster racist sentiment through the town, and Papyrus was advised to leave the world for his own safety, so he went traveling with Sora.

Stork (Storm Hawks): Maleficent, who is also an active player in this game, made a power play by destroying the Condor with the entire Storm Hawks team onboard while they were on the Far Side of Atmos (post-series). Stork, believing himself to be the only survivor, attempted to take his own life – only for Sora to show up just in time and offer him something better: hope that his friends survived, and new friends to tag along with until they could prove either way.

Jasmine (Aladdin): The Cinnamons came looking to Agrabah for more information on Mozenrath. When Jasmine heard he was causing chaos, she decided to get personally involved.

Katara (Avatar: The Last Airbender): Post-ATLA, no LoK. Sora made a trip to the Fire Nation to see if he could head off the WHAM ARMY’s latest scheme, and ran into the Gaang along the way. After helping Katara, Aang, and Zuko protect the Fire Nation from a very near miss, Sora invited them to come travel with him. Only Katara accepted at first, the other two wanting to clean things up on their homeworld.

Kazuichi Soda (DanganRonpa): Post-SDR2, no DR3. Xehanort requested Izuru Kamukura be used as a vessel, and Kazuichi went in Izuru/Hajime’s place so his buddy didn’t have to. But the first chance he got, Kazuichi turned and ran from the Castle That Never Was…where Sora had just crash-landed. Kazuichi patched up Sora’s ship, and immediately became part of his crew. (Worth noting: in this AU, the Remnants of Despair were never brainwashed and were completely aware of what they were doing. Kazuichi is basically a redemption story, trying to be a better person to make up for the hell he caused. Also, while on the Despair side, he’d hacked off his leg to sew Junko’s in its place, disabling himself – that leg goes through an arc regarding what prosthesis is in its place.)

Rapunzel (Tangled): After the Vardaros arc of S2 of Rapunzel’s Tangled Adventure. Rapunzel was targeted by the WHAM ARMY because she was essentially a living MacGuffin for one of their spells. Sora showed up, and Rapunzel decided to go along with him for safety AND fun, leaving Cassandra to continue the pilgrimage to the Dark Kingdom. (Wrote this before KHIII was out. And before the Evil Cass twist.)

And just like the WHAM ARMY, these folks have a huge B-squad that lives in the Radiant Garden castle and helps them deal with the various tragedies they have to clean up after. Riku, Kairi, and Jaune Arc in particular get a decent amount of stage time.

As you can see, Maleficent (Sleeping Beauty/Kingdom Hearts) and her forces are another big set of chess pieces on the board! After she sent Mozenrath to gay baby jail and it didn’t stick, she’s been trying to continue plans for domination as usual but ALSO wipe the WHAM ARMY off the face of the multiverse. She, Jafar (Aladdin), Ursula (The Little Mermaid), and Hades (Hercules) all came straight here from KH. But I’m working to model that team’s inner circle on the team in “Quite a Glittering Assemblage,” the sister fic by gavillain (it’s basically this premise but Maleficent gets a team to start instead, but similarities end there, his is a whole different, fresh, and fun flavor). I’ve just gotten all these characters intro’d instory, but the other biggies are Loki (Marvel – I based him in the Cinematic Universe but he’s kind of just an amalgamation of Lokis), Dr. Doom (Marvel), Captain Hook (Once Upon a Time), Russell Edgington (True Blood), and Fish Mooney (Gotham). Currently, they operate out of the Forbidden Mountain in the Enchanted Dominion.

There’s also a very new addition as of the 140’s chapters: the Heathens. This is a squad of villains with moral lines in the sand (and some antiheroes or corrupted heroes). Basically, these aren’t your killers for fun. These are the people who steal candy from the gas station and think they’re slick, but the point is they’re enjoying themselves so just let it happen. The four founders of this one are Harley Quinn (DC – based on The Batman but an amalgamation of Harleys that leans sympathetic), Yang Xiao Long (RWBY), Giovanni Potage (Epithet Erased), and Velvet Crowe (Tales of Berseria). Currently, they operate out of the old mansion in Twilight Town.

The Xehanorts are here, and that team is largely who you think it is – though I stripped away Vexen, Demyx, Marluxia, Larxene, and Luxord in order to replace them ALL with Xaldin. More crossover shenanigans to come on this front. This team isn’t very active – they’re waiting for the Keyblade War – but they’re operating out of the World That Never Was.

There’s also another side villain faction: the Morbians, led by Mirage (Aladdin: The Animated Series). These are the demons of fear, the stuff that lurks in your nightmares, and…the villains I really like but who I don’t quite think fit in with the WHAM ARMY or any other more prominent group. But to give you an idea of what the flavor of this team is, she’s recruited not one but TWO Boogeymen – Pitch Black (Rise of the Guardians) and Oogie Boogie (The Nightmare Before Christmas).

There will be more villain factions to come, and I kind of want to splinter the Cinnamons to multiple bases as well. Obviously it’s easier to split villains up because they’re fun to write at war with each other – when I have hero teams come up against each other, usually they end up becoming best buddies instead of fighting, and that’s how I like it, but that’s why there’s just ONE BIG HERO TEAM as opposed to the many villain squads rattling around.

THE SETTING

So as you have probably gleaned, the multiverse setup is largely based on Kingdom Hearts, which is one of my favorite things (in the KH1 through Fragmentary Passage era anyway). There are many worlds that can be visited either by Gummi Ship or Corridor of Darkness. Basically any evil-aligned sorcerer can use Corridors in this ‘verse – they’ve opened their souls to Darkness and have magic, so they can do so.

The implication is that every world represents a separate “story” or part of one. As in if it’s a work of fiction HERE, it’s a world THERE. Some characters are actually savvy enough to know they’re fictional (e.g. Megavolt from Darkwing Duck, Xayide from The Neverending Story). Most of them aren’t built to handle the news, though, and just shrug it off if told. (No, really, the cosmic order prevents them from taking that news seriously if they’re not from something that regularly leans on the fourth wall anyway.)

But sometimes, things get AU’d in without their full worlds. I was inspired by how Final Fantasy is treated in canon KH, and once I started bringing in more FF stuff by the same method, I felt motivated to do that with MORE fandoms if I felt the characters could be divorced from their settings and histories easily. I’ve done it for most Disney Channel non-animated properties as well as Satellite City (ain’t that the worst combo you’ve ever looked at). I’m planning to do it for Fire Emblem: Radiant Dawn because I’m coming up on a location I want to delve into the civilization of but don’t have many canon characters for, so guess what, you get the FE cast now.

Major worlds or relevant locations in play are the Cyclonian warship, Radiant Garden, Twilight Town, and occasionally the Enchanted Dominion, but we move from plotline to plotline with journeys to many, many, MANY worlds of things I want to play with the settings and casts of. Also, the Cyclonian warship is about to get replaced with another WHAM ARMY base; we’ll get there.

THE STORY

For the first major “book” of TBTC, the WHAM ARMY has found a spell that they think will let them conquer the entire multiverse by giving them control over Kingdom Hearts itself. All they have do to is collect a bunch of MacGuffins that correspond to twelve elements: fire, water, earth, air, light, darkness, life, death, time, space, entropy, and aether. In order to do this, they visit the worlds of KH, RWBY, Avatar, Storm Hawks, Okami, Undertale, Wakfu, The Legend of Zelda, The Neverending Story, My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic, and many many more. The Cinnamons catch wind of what they’re doing and start assembling. Meanwhile Maleficent is on the hunt for the Book of Prophecies and starts hiring villains on her team as well. After many madcap adventures and some devastating tragedies near endgame, the Cinnamons accidentally put the Book of Prophecies in Maleficent’s hands at the same time that Maleficent finally captures Mozenrath and gets him under heel. The WHAM ARMY and Cinnamons both launch attacks on Maleficent’s forces, and each walks away with what they came for. This is also the part where we slowburn up to the four major WHAM ARMY ships and many Cinnamon ships. In the end, the WHAM ARMY actually gets all the ingredients for their spell, but what they don’t know is it will actually cause the DESTRUCTION of the worlds. So an outside force intervenes (Discord from MLPFIM, who later joins the WHAM ARMY because he wants friends who actually appreciate him as a villain and won’t make him change) to stop them, and the next thing they know, they’re starting from square one.

We’re now in the second “book” of this story. The Cinnamons are gathering up all lost friends – the rest of Team RWBY, the Gaang, the Storm Hawks (who did in fact survive the explosion), the lost KH characters. The WHAM ARMY, on the other hand, is gathering up more villains to bolster their forces for a new evil plan: to conquer the worlds one by one, starting with Atlantis (Disney’s Atlantis: The Lost Empire) and using portals to link to other territories of interest. While the WHAM ARMY is essentially working through a to-do list of what they need before they can launch such a massive invasion, the Cinnamons are finding strength in numbers because the writing’s on the wall that between Mozenrath, Maleficent, Mirage, and Xehanort, things are going to get worse before they get better, and as evil builds, good will need to rise to protect the innocent. As for Maleficent, she’s no longer able to chase the Book of Prophecies, and so, because she’s got Hades, Loki, and Salem (RWBY) there and they’re all like “Even though we’re pretty godlike, we are not that happy with how the gods we knew have run things,” Maleficent’s new goal is to slaughter the gods of all pantheons (minus those in her care) and replace them with her allies.

Anyway, as I had said in the post you saw, Anon – I basically take everything fictional I love and shove it into this AU for daydreams because it lets me imagine my faves having CROSSOVER INTERACTIONS and doing cool epic stuff on a multi-world scale. (But as much as I’ve talked up the epic aspect, a lot of it is just…like…people fucking around and hosting karaoke nights.) Anyway, I hope this gave you a good sense of the madness, and I hope it serves as a reminder to everyone that they can and should just. Make a daydream and/or fanfic universe that’s indulgent as hell. Just do it.

#wham army #tbtc #long post #i considered a read more #but i hate the tiny text on my blog #i need a new blog theme

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taterfics · 4 years

Text

Numb

Can you focus on me?

Baby, can you focus on me? Babe

Hands in the soap

Have the faucet's running and I keep looking at you

Stuck on your phone and you're stuck in your zone

You don't have a clue

But I don't wanna give up

The powerful vibration of her cell phone on the kitchen counter pulled Gina Perez out of her dazed state, dark eyes cutting to the screen, which was face up and shattered to shit, though she could tell what was there with very little difficulty. It was the face of her boyfriend, Erik Stevens. There was a picture of her and him at one of the many parties he managed to drag her to, his arm casually thrown across her shoulder with a gigantic smile on his face. He didn’t have his usual gold fangs in, the event being last minute and not giving him any time to prepare his outfit. She was dressed in her outfit of scrubs and a headwrap, as she herself had been at work. They looked so happy. She looked so happy.

Now, she was just numb.

The soft clink of the tiny metal chains attached to her dress filled her ears as she shifted from one cheek to the other, the hard surface of her kitchen floor sending a pins and needles sensation shooting up her right leg. Her brand new wig was tossed across the floor, sprawled over her red bottoms, bought by the owner of the very face that looked as if it hadn’t left the screen of her phone for the past hour. Back to back, he called, and not once did she answer.

How could she? What would she say? The past three hours had been so painful, so bizarre that she couldn’t help but feel that she’d slipped into some alternate nightmare specially designed to torture her. Her throat hurt from screaming, her hands stung from crawling across a glass covered street, and she smelled like smoke. Her house was a mess, more from the deliberate destructive rage she’d gone in and destroyed every single thing in sight that wasn’t firmly in place or bolted to the wall than usual wear and tear. The only thing that looked as if it was still standing was a single painting on the wall, a painting of her and her younger cousin, Kaya.

Kaya.

A lump formed in her throat as her cousin’s harsh words filled her ears

“You just mad because for once, I got what you wanted before you did!”

Drunk and staggering, the woman that had stood before her looked nothing like the girl that had grown up with her, the girl that Gina and her mother had taken off the streets, cleaned up, and watched walk down a path of self-destruction, always ready to pick her up and brush her off before sending her back on her way.

Sadly, three hours before, she’d made her last stop, just as she had seemed ready to turn around and run back to them. Gina remembered her cousin's pleading screams as she tried to break the car window with her fists, trapped in the blazing inferno that was Gina's ex-boyfriend's car.

She'd stepped so far out of her character that she found it hard to believe that it was her, when she saw the videos plastered over the news. Instead of saying it was a tragedy, a shame, the news painted them as ghetto hood rats fighting outside of a nightclub, pulling hair and throwing drinks. Sure, they actually had been doing that, but it took away from what had happened.

Her cousin was *dead*. Burnt to a crisp in that car that Gina had to be forcibly removed from on top of before anything worse happened. She’d watched her cousin being rolled away in a *body bag*, the sounds of her aunt’s screams in her ears causing them to ring before she promptly turned her back to the scene and vomited all over the pavement, all over the expensive leather shoes that Erik had bought her on their anniversary.

Honestly, she couldn’t even remember how she got home? Everything after that moment had been a blur, and no matter how many times she'd tried to unblock that part of her memory in the past twenty minutes, it just didn’t seem to be right. Instead, her mind wandered to the day Kaya became a more permanent fixture in her life. ….

When her daddy left her mother, Gina thought that would be the last time she’d ever see her mother cry. No matter what had ever happened, she never saw her La’Toyah shed a tear, not even when her grandmother died. She just seemed to sit there, motionless until everyone left her alone. Only then, in the dead of the night, when she thought no one heard her, did her mother let the tears fall. Gina never saw them, but there was only so much a pillow could muffle. But now, standing in front of her Auntie Patricia, her mother’s tears ran freely, eyes bloodshot and knuckles bruised.

Kaya and Auntie Patricia had come over for dinner because they hadn’t seen even an inkling of their presence in over a year and the two sisters ran into one another at the grocery store. When Gina saw Kaya, they hugged each other fiercely, and that was when she noticed it.

The wince.

When she lifted her arms to hug her cousin, she’d flinched away from her, almost as if she thought that Gina was going to hurt her. When asked if she would be okay, Kaya simply laughed it off and made a joke about the pranks they used to play on one another. They both laughed, but Kaya’s didn’t seem to quite reach her eyes. Little incidents went on like that for a while until the two of them were at the local park, where they’d wandered off to goof off out of the eyes of their parents.

Many things happened, and while they were on the swings, Kaya fell down and hurt her arms, and Gina had to literally fight with her to check and see if she was bleeding, and that’s when she saw it.

Cigarette burns.

Kaya had cigarette burns all up her arms, leading all the way up to her elbows! After a long silence, Gina simply stood up and bolted home, screaming for her mother the entire way there. Kaya was on her heels, shushing her, but Gina was too fast for her. Before she could find her mother, though, she ran right into her aunt. The words jumbled out of her mouth, her aunt’s cheerful expression taking on a much darker tone and before she knew it, her aunt looked downright furious. With no explanation, she immediately turned on Kaya, her cousin’s back smacking against the exterior of the house as Patricia screamed at her about “talking out of my house” and “making up stories”. Neither of them seemed to notice Gina running to get her mother, who was in the bathroom.

When they returned, Kaya was holding her cheek and Patricia was getting ready to hit her again when Latoyah pounced on her. The two sisters fought in the yard until they were able to be yanked apart by to neighbors, Patricia going to grab Kaya but the younger girl shrinking away from her mother’s hang and both Gina and her mother using themselves as a physical barricade to stop her from advancing further.

After that day, they didn’t see Patricia again for years, La’Toyah telling them both that she was sick and needed help. With time, Kaya reconnected with her mother, and many of the woman’s bad habits rubbed off on her daughter. She became increasingly worse until before they knew it, Kaya had become the same woman who they’d literally fought to get her away from.

... Erik

For the first time in his life, Erik “Killmonger” Stevens could say that he was utterly, terribly, afraid. He’d raised more hell in the past four hours than he had the entire time he’d been in Wakanda, but it had been for a reason.

His reason. Honestly, if anything happened to Régine, he would never get over it, and never forgive himself. Currently, he was pacing the length of one of T’Challa’s overly expensive ass private jets, and the Dora Milaje soldiers that had been assigned to watch his every move looked more nervous the more agitated he became. He’d already screamed at Shuri to hurry the fuck up and fly the plane, to which she responded with language that he was both taken aback by and responsible for.

She wasn’t answering her phone and that was what worried him the first time. Usually, when she went out, she made sure to call him as soon as she got in her parking lot. She’d sit in the car and they’d talk until she realized she needed to be in the house. But tonight, it didn’t happen. Tonight, of all nights, when he watched viral videos and he saw his girlfriend plastered on the news, scrapping with some bitch in her “freakum dress” and the heels he bought her for their anniversary. She wasn’t even wearing her wig when she took on three bitches at a time and shots rang out in the night before there was nothing more. There were no reported injuries, and while that should’ve calmed his mind, it didn’t at all.

It wasn’t like Régine not to answer her phone, and even though he’d been told multiple times that he was overreacting, by the third time he called her and she didn’t answer, he was packing his shit and getting ready to get the fuck out of Wakanda. He didn’t care how many elders he disrespected or how many foreign dignitaries he disappointed by not showing up, he needed to get to Oakland.

“I’m sure she will be alright, Erik.” In the time that he’d been spending in Wakanda, he’d gotten really close with Okoye of all people. She didn’t just take his shit when he was having a bad day or allow him to vent when he was acting a damn fool. She called him out on it, told him he sounded dumb, and sent him on his way. Just like Régine. Sadly, even Okoye’s reassurances weren’t enough to stop him from picking up his phone and calling her again.

Fifty seven times. He’d called Régine fifty-seven times before he got an answer, and the one that greeted him wasn’t one he’d wanted to see. The sun peeking over the horizon seemed to be mocking him as he sent a pointed look at the last person he wanted to see.

….

Régine

“Heeeeey Erik.” Crowding at her grandmother’s house seemed to be on everyone’s mind the morning after everything that had happened. Many of her family members, both distant and not, shot her nasty looks when they thought she wasn’t looking. She wasn’t even sure she blamed them. If she had done more, if it hadn’t ended up in a fight, maybe Kadejah would be with them all. She’d gotten so much hate on the internet following everything that had happened that her cousin. Ericka, forcibly took her phone away from her to take her mind off of what had happened.

“Ericka where Régine at?” Her cousin rolled her eyes, placing a hand on her hip.

“Well good morning to you too, Erik. I’m doing fine, thanks for asking.” She could practically hear him rolling his eyes, even though she could barely make out what was being said. Ericka seemed to be telling him everything that had happened, from the twerk contest to the fight in the parking lot, to Kadejah asking Régine for money to buy drugs and the fight that followed that. It was all a hot ass mess, then it got even worse.

Mayno, Régine’s ex-boyfriend, decided that he would take an interest in Kadejah. Everyone from anywhere knew that he was no good, but he was 6’4, light skinned, with pretty teeth and a big dick, and that was all many women needed to hear, even Régine at a time. He was sloppy drunk, and likely hopped up on pills and he asked Kadejah if she wanted to come to his house and chill. Neither of them seemed to be in any shape to drive, so Régine grabbed her cousin and said that she would take her home, that she had no business in the car with a guy like Mayno anyway. Kadejah used that moment to laugh and brag in her cousin’s face, and they got into a screaming match that ended with Kadejah accusing Régine of wanting Mayno back. They left together and it took everything in Régine not to run behind the car and snatch her cousin out of the passenger’s seat.

That was when the shots rang out. Somebody else had gotten into a fight whilst she and Kadejah were arguing and someone started shooting. Everything happened so fast after that. The gunfire died down, there was the screeching of tires, and the next thing she knew, Mayno’s car was T-Boned by a box Chevy on 26’s. By the time she’d run to the car, Mayno was already dead and Kadejah was clearly concussed. She could barely register Régine screaming for her to try and unlock the door, which was bent in anyway.

Once she’d realized that Kadejah was in no state to think for herself, she attempted to break the glass by any means necessary. She tried using her shoe, her elbow, her clutch, anything that she could find. She wasn’t even able to put a crack in it. She didn’t even notice the crowd gathering around her until a pair of sturdy arms wrapped around her waist, attempting to hoist her away from the car. She was so hysterical, she began kicking and screaming, hitting them multiple times with her purse until she heard him call for backup and she was carried off of the scene by firefighters waiting for the police to come, which they didn’t for nearly twenty minutes later. By that time, it was too late and Kadejah was gone.

“-m just saying. If it was my cousin, I wouldn’t be on the ground screaming, I would be trying to save her.”

There it was. It wasn’t that she hadn’t done anything. It was that she hadn’t done enough. Her family felt that she was being too emotional and not trying to help her cousin. They blamed her for this, she knew it.

“Come on, baby. Let’s go outside.” Her mother’s voice in her ear was everything it took not to leap at her cousin’s girlfriend and beat the hell out of her. It took a little bit of effort, but the woman was able to get her daughter out the back door and away from all the noise of the family.

….

Erik

When he finally got a glimpse of Régine, it felt like he was seeing the sun for the first time. Everything inside his body seemed to unfurl and all was right in the world. Except, it wasn’t.

In the years that he had been with Régine, he barely ever saw her cry, It was almost as if she had some personal vendetta against doing so. As if she felt that him seeing her cry would diminish her value somehow. He didn’t get it, but it didn’t matter. Now, he was at a loss.

He could tell the tell tale signs of a breakdown coming. Pacing, hands shaking like she’s trying to air dry them, and the heavy breathing. Once the breathing started, it wouldn’t stop until she started crying. It was very hard to watch and before he knew it, he was stepping over a hedge and pulling her into his arms.

The way she melted into him was almost seamless, and within seconds, she began to cry. It wasn’t like usual, a little tear here and there, trying to compose herself. Now she simply let loose, snotting and screaming into his shirt, her nails digging into his skin. All the while, he held on, squeezing her like a vice. Looking up, he saw her mother staring down at the two of them, a sad expression on her face. Leaning over and placing a light peck on his cheek, she gave him a couple pats on the shoulder, mouthing that he needed to take her home.

Hoisting her up into his arms, he made his way over to where the Dora were all standing, looking over the scene with varying levels of sympathy and concern. With added research, they were able to find out what the issue was and they understood. Régine had always been close to her cousin, always talked about her to anyone that would listen, and now that she was gone, the next while would be very hard for her. He planned to be there every step of the way, though, just like she had been for him when his mother died.

“It’s gone be okay, Ma.” She sniffed, offering nothing further as he placed a kiss on her cheek.

It would be okay.

It had to be.

#black panther x reader #erik killmonger x reader #erik killmonger #n'jadaka #killmonger x reader #killmonger fanfiction #killmonger imagine #taterfics

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hopeshoodie · 4 years

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Favorite and least favorite LIs and why?

I put in the read more for convenience but whoo boy do I have THOUGHTS

((Also if I shit on your faves here or in another post, I mean no disrespect to you. Some of my best friends are Lucas stans- I’m kidding. Legitimately all of these come down to personal preference- except Levi, if you like Levi you need to get some self-worth babes- so whoever your fave is you’re valid.))

Season 1

Favorites: Talia 😍😍🥰😍 and Jake 😘🥰😍

I genuinely don't understand anyone picking other LIs. Talia is god tier, one of my favorite LIs from any visual novel. She’s so hot, really interesting, and open/kind/loving/pretty/sincere.... I love her. I do wish I knew more about her though because I chose her every opportunity but never really learned a whole lot of personal details. Jake is such a kind soul and we stan a handsome, respectful gentleman. I've always liked quiet boys and mad into loud smart girls so... yeah..... The only other valid LI choice is Tim, and he's my platonic bestie so.

Least favorite: Levi 🤢🤮😡😤🤢🤢

Levi? Stupid idiot motherfucking Levi? Goddamn fool jock stupid cheating ass rat bastard shithead idiot Levi? Fuck OFF. I don’t really like Mason that much but haven’t done a run through where Mason is as terrible as Levi. I'm not even mad about Cherrygate I'm mad about how Levi treated MC after it. He never apologized, he never really showed MC that she could trust him, he never supported her. The nail in the coffin was the lie detector. We hate men who cant apologize or empathize.

I will say, they fixed Levi’s character in Matchmaker, so if we’re counting matchmaker then I guess my least favorite is Jasper.

Season 2

Favorites: Noah 🥰😚😏 Marisol 😅😏😍 Henrik 😇😍🤗 and Carl 🤩☺

I don’t even know how to explain why I love Noah. I love angst and slow burns, AND my comfort characters are always quiet smart lawful neutrals. He’s such a complex character and every action he does makes sense and ugh. I just really love him ok. He and my S2 MC are OTP.

I know people hate Marisol but she’s exactly my type irl. I love slowburns, and I love people who grow as characters because of the people they’re with. Marisol does this lovely thing when you couple up with her when she goes from flighty and insecure to fiercely loving and devoted. I think that works with her character. My big hangup with her is her pretentiousness- like girl I took up to psych 305 and I don’t go around trying to analyze people and act like I’m so smart. I think she’s really stuck in her ‘not like other girls’ phase, and feels superior because of her education, which I relate to a lot. That was me 2-3 years ago, and it was all fed by insecurity and isolation. But maybe that’s part of the appeal? I want so badly to fix her. Obviously it sucks that you have to support her during RoccoGate just to access her, but I love her nonetheless.

Henrik is a delight. He’s the perfect balance of sweet, independent, honest, and funny. He's a goof but unlike Bobby he's not trying too hard. I just wish he hadn't gotten kicked out of the villa every time until I realized the only factor deciding that is who MC says she wants to keep to the girls- but then again, him cheating with Blake is so out of character unless it’s explained why and his reaction is different.

And Carl is just my good quiet sweet boy, and his design is really pretty. I just wish he had a different pose because I hate his fuckboy hands and lip biting. But he’s really straightforward and supportive, and I headcanon him to be on the autism spectrum so he’s automatically one of my faves.

Least favorites: Arjun 😤😒🙄 Bobby 🥱🙄😬 Gary 🙈 and Rahim 😒😐😔

Arjun gets under my skin with how pushy he is. He doesn’t really bother to build a relationship with her but expects her to pick him. Also I hate how he and Elijah are the only mlm rep we've got but neither of them are unavailable or uninterested in MC. Ciaran and Tai kind of made up for it this season, but I still think Arjun sucks.

Bobby is super insecure and doesn’t respect MC's wishes to stay just friends. I also? Don’t think he’s that funny? Like I love a goofy boy, but so much of Bobby’s humor seems like all set up and no punchline- ha ha I made up a word? ha ha I put on a dress? ha ha I switched peoples clothes? Versus Henrik and Chelsea, who I think are genuinely funny, are able to poke fun at themselves and reference other things. But it’s mostly the Nice Guy (TM) vibes I get from Bobby that put me off of him.

Gary doesn’t support MC like I wish he would, he just lets people bully her and doesn’t apologize when he’s done hurtful things like kiss both her and Lottie. He’s a sweet character, but he gets away with a lot and never apologizes or recognizes that he’s hurt MC. That scene with Hannah always frustrates me because he acts like the victim. I get that people think he’s a sweetheart, and I like his backstory, but I just? Don’t see it? He refuses to take responsibility for his actions, allows his partner to be miserable without even asking what he can do, and storms off whenever there’s a confrontation.

And finally Rahim. I’m mad about this one because Rahim was my FAVORITE until like day 22, then Fusebox did him so dirty. Dont get me wrong, he's hot af and his little 'I'm shy around girls' shtick is cute, at first. But my first playthrough ever I coupled with him before the disaster recoupling and then went back to him the first chance I got. He is SO sweet before CA, but afterwards Fusebox really leaned into his ‘control freak’ personality. I liked the drama with Jo and Shannon when MC is involved, so I don’t hold that against him. I like how he learned to open up and developed as a character (his arch is less pronounced when he’s with Jo but oh well). What I hold against him is how he treats MC and the other characters post-CA. He's super condescending whenever MC says something goofy, always shaming her and giving frowns. He really uses the 'I'm geeky so girls don’t like me' bit even though??? He's super hot and rich, so why is that still his Thing. I get lowkey misogynistic vibes from him with his pickup lines and bragging about spending money on dates- like dating is a game and women are prizes rather than people. ALSO!!! IN THE WEDDING EPISODE!!! Every other LI I've played through the wedding episode with has also had a ring and proposed to MC at the same time. RAHIM DOESN’T DO THAT!??! Such a weird choice for the writers to make and idk. I just really resent Rahim as a character.

Season 3

Favorites: Lily🏳️‍🌈😍🥰 and Yasmin 😆😚🔥

Lily is LITERALLY Henrik but as a woman and I love that. I’m so gay. She’s really open, caring, passionate, and plus she’d really hot. Not as hot as Iona, but up there. Even when she’s fighting, she seems like a real person as opposed to the generic personalities everyone else has. We love a lesbian queen.

I was hesitant to try Yasmin at first because her eyeshadow is really ugly, but I’m so glad I finally did. All of her lines are SO romantic and she’s SO pretty and ugh. Again, very gay. I love the spontaneity and the idea of a manic pixie music girl.

I was into Tai for awhile (mostly because of that comment about MC’s voice) but he’s a bit too full of himself for me personally and also he and Ciaran are meant to be. They need to get married. Camilo’s also a really great character but he dresses like a 10 year old boy and also he’s a Man.

Least Favorites: Bill 🤷‍♀️🙄🤨 and Harry 🤢😤🙄😐🤮

Bill really isn’t that bad, I don’t mind his silly turns of phrase or his insistence on debating dumb things- because it’s mostly banter. What I do mind is him defending those phrases instead of laughing it off and thinking that hes somehow deep for not liking small talk. He comes across as a twitter poet. Also I think his pose is dumb. 4/10 he has some endearing moments but eh I'm not into him.

But Harry on the other hand......... I was going to pick Harry in the first coupling because he's super cute and his fashion sense (at least his swimwear- that yellow jacket is something else...) is way better than everyone else's but he ruined that when he opened his mouth. Business major is a red flag, but then his dumb little pick up line turned me off. And then every scene since I've hated him more and more. I work in legal services and want to go to law school in the future, so I like educated and successful people just fine. But I HATE when they act classist and like that makes them better than other people (if you cant tell by my distaste for Hannah, Marisol, and Lucas). Harry doesn’t care about real things, he cares about the status they bring him. It's not that he wants to open a business because he has a drive for a product or service or cause, it's because he wants to say hes a business owner. If your only goal for doing something is getting power I don’t have time for you. 0/10. EDIT: He gets one (1) point back for being open about his anger issues and actively seeking treatment, I don’t know many men in their 20s willing to admit that and seek help. Every time I replay I try to be like ‘give him a fair shot, he has a lot of stans’ and then he blows off MC to play video games and says he has no freetime because he’s networking all the time. *pointing at Harry* blow that piece of junk OUt oF the SKY.

#litg #ask #pinned so yall can see me for the clown i am #and not be offended when i make fun of harry #ik m sure hes sweet when youre coupled with him i just do Not Vibe With Him

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revchainsaw · 4 years

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Sonic: The Hedgehog (2020)

Sonic: The Hedgehog (2020)

Greeting my flock of film freaks and welcome again to the Cult of Cult. Todays offering is a bit more of the mainstream blockbuster variety, but as films based on Video Games are still actually quite niche and vastly underestimated I think we should open our hearts to Sonic: The Hedgehog and hope that we find it a pleasing tithe to the cult. I am your beloved minster, The Reverend Chainsaw, and welcome to today’s service.

The Message

I must confess to the congregation that I was drinking mighty heavily of the lord’s Tennessee sour mash when I was taking in this movie. That said, I think that this is a great movie to have a drink with and I mean that in the best possible way.

Sonic: The Hedgehog is of course based on the Sega video game franchise and stars Ben Schwartz as the titular blue rat. Schwartz brings his brand of high energy enthusiastic comedy to the voice role. While Schwartz is particularly on brand for Schwartz, is he on brand for Sonic? I’m not entirely sure, but I’m also not entirely sure I was ever in love with the old ways. I am not an avid fan or consumer of Sonic media and perhaps that means I am in a poor position to say. I am most familiar with the Sega games and Sonic cartoons from the 90s, and from what I have grasped the more recent entries with their more anime centric and high lore plots still owe quite a bit to the attitude era of the 90s. Sonic was a hero but he was also a bit of a cross between Mickey Mouse, the Flash, and Bart Simpson. As an angsty 90s boy I wanted to eat chili dogs and go very fast that was very appealing to me, but I’m not so sure it would be appealing to a vast audience of older millennials, or even todays kids. And though I think it would be a fair criticism to say that Ben Schwartz is playing sonic as basically the superhero version of his Dewey Duck from the VERY VERY good DuckTales reboot, I don’t think that it’s necessarily a bad thing.

Dewey Duck the Hedgehog is a small mammal (also not a rodent, I wanted to say rodent and apparently hedgehogs are not rodents, just googled it) from an alien planet where his adoptive mother, an owl named Long Claw, fears that he will be hunted for his special powers, which I think is just super speed but it might be other things. In line with these concerns after an attack by pursuers Longclaw gives Sonic the Moses treatment and floats the special blue boy down the metaphorical river. Unlike Moses, however, Sonic is not found by ultra rich ultra powerful extra special people but is instead alone. Sonic lives alone in exile outside a small American town as a sort of local cryptid.

Thus begins a charming adventure. Through a poor decision to use his powers while working out some personal issues, Sonic inadvertantly draws the attention of the U.S Government and their nasty big brain baddy Dr. Robotnik. Sonic recruits a small town police officer with big city dreams to assist him in finding his magic rings so that he might flee from earth to an uninhabited mushroom kingdom.

Now about these two human characters. Officer Everyman is played by cyclops from the X-men franchise. The actors name escapes me and so does the characters, and while, yes, I just looked up if hedgehogs were rodents, I will not be looking up this information. I like the review better this way. It makes me laugh. And while I don’t remember his name, I do remember that he used to live In Mt. Juliet, TN. Anyway, what you should know about Officer Goodguy is that he drives a Toyota Tacoma!

That Toyota Tacoma is also continuously abused by the mad machinations of our films biggest draw: Jim Carey as Dr. Robotnik. If we were to pitch a Sonic movie, I don’t think anyone would jump to Jim Carey as the must have for the role, but after seeing this film, boy was it the best choice. The way he chews the scenery and plays off the rest of the cast and situations is just so much fun to watch. It’s fantastic to see Jim Carey back in a larger than life role. The Decision to play Jim Carey as the kind of condescending nerd who has taken their lack of social skills and leaned in as opposed to working on themselves was a brilliant choice. We’ve all known that kind of guy who tries to play the misanthrope just because they are too egotistical to recognize their flaws. Here Dr. Robotnik has given up on human connection in favor of subordination. His intellect is his only value, and thus he demands everyone around him acknowledge intellect as the only quality that matters as he has. It was a great choice.

From the point the chase begins the film becomes a road trip flick, and despite the fact that Sonic could supposedly cover the distance required in the blink of an eye we watch the ins and outs of our heroes relationship as they learn what home, and being a hero mean to them. By the climax it is pretty by the numbers, Sonic has come to feel at home on Earth and now that he has friends who care for him they can begin to make a world from which neither will have to flee; and of course, they beat the bad guy. FOR NOW. we are treated to an even crazier Dr. Robotnik stranded in the Fungus Dimension bent on revenge.

The Benediction

Now for all things Holy and Profane in this film, please rise for the Benediction.

Best Scandal: Sonic the Cosmic Horror

The original look of this film was mired in dread when the early footage and trailers dropped revealing a hideously uncanny hedgehog monster in the form of sonic. The memes are amazing, the toys are unsettling, there’s still plenty of Quasimodo Sonic stuff out there floating on the web and I suggest that you search it out, the laughter is good for your heart. Also if anyone wants to send me any creepy sonic merch I’ll take it.

Thanks to the work of online fans and internet harassments, the studio felt it was going to lose money on the project and reeled back the release allowing for the design department to give us a more cartoony but less frightening alien monster. I mean he’s a cartoon, it’s okay for him to look like a cartoon.

Best Scene: Noodle Dance

It’s hard to choose, and it feels a bit biased, but there are a few scenes with Dr. Robotnik that are just what make the movie more than a forgettable IP adaptation. Not that Ben Schwartz wasn’t doing great as the character but I feel Sonic as a whole would be lost in the milieu of CG spectacles and Super Hero Origin stories that we are bombarded with every year if not for Jim Carey’s performances; and even with them Sonic: The Hedgehog is not completely out of those woods. That said, I think Dr. Robotnik’s Alone Time Dance Party has to be the stand out sequence in my memory. I can’t really speak to what makes it so enjoyable, but damn if it isn’t just the best scene in the movie.

Best Character: Silicon Valley Dr. Robotnik

Do I even need to say it? It’s Dr. Robotnik. I’m not a fan of this villain from any other media. I always found Dr. Robotniks look unappealing, I’m not a huge fan of his powers, or using robot henchman. it always struck me as pretty boring how Sonic didn’t have a cool rogues gallery (i’m talking about 90s sonic) the way Mario did. However, they did something with the design, characterization, and performance that just made him such a fun villain. Also, my friend Jacksons mom said I looked like him and it didn’t hurt my feelings so.

Best Actor: Jim Carey

Jim Carey. It really seems like he’s all I’m talking about in this movie. Once again, I think Ben Schwartz did great and Sonic IS basically Dewey Duck in this movie. Dewey Duck is my favorite part of the rebooted DuckTales series, BUT he is just outmaneuvered by Jim Carey in this role. I think it’s a compliment enough to say that Ben Schwartz was even able to keep up with his energy, let alone play his quicker perkier foil.

Worst Scene: Toyota Tacoma Commercial

Sonic: the Hedgehog’s worst scene would probably have to be the forced friend fight between Sonic and Officer Wachowski during the car chase. It’s an overproduced weightless car chase scene with a contrived buddy cop controversy meant to force apart our heroes so that they can ultimately grow a little and come back together later in the movie. Not that I mind a movie like this to be so by the numbers, but it just felt like two of the blandest things on this movies plate being forced into one scene. I do like the idea of giving me the crap part of the dish in one flavorless generic bite, but that still doesn’t save it from being the worst scene in the movie.

That Toyota Tacoma took a beating though.

Worst Feature: Nothing Ventured/ Nothing Earned

I’m sure many fans would feel that the worst feature of the film is that it isn’t loyal to any previous lore laden version of the character, (probably the one they like the most). In the portrayals of both Sonic and Dr. Robotnik there were decisions made that drastically differed from the ways they have been portrayed before. Sonic is naïve and idealistic, a bit childish, Dr. Robotnik is driven by a lot of insecurity. Where are the Chaos Crystals and my original character Grindy the Wolf Cub?

But I think that these are over all positive choices in a film that otherwise chose to play it incredibly safe. In their cautious approach to appeal to the widest possible audience the film makers gave us a pleasant and appealing cartoon romp but we are left with little to hold on to. The worst feature of Sonic: The Hedgehog is it’s safety.

Summary:

Sonic: The Hedgehog is often touted as “the first good video game movie”. A label that I disagree with wholeheartedly. It is certainly a good video game movie, but it’s not the first, and it is not by leaps and bounds better than other video game movies as a whole. It’s a sub genre that gets a ton of disrespect, and in a world where the biggest criticism levied against the Super Mario Bros is that it’s not a faithful adaptation, I don’t understand how Sonic the Buddy Cop/ Road Trip comedy is escaping that attitude.

All that said, I had a good time with this movie. But it felt like playing on the playground as a toddler. You have fun and then you leave and you don’t really remember what you played or who with. I’ll think about Jim Carey and Dewey Duck, but I had a hard time hating or loving anything this movie did in any strong way. I usually feel that a movie that is “bad” or “corny” or “shlocky” is always better than a movie that is generic, or pointless, or boring. Sonics pleasantness and cheerful energy just barely save it from being another Transformers franchise. I get that origin stories are hard, so I’m eagerly awaiting the next installment, and hopefully it’s going to do something that sets it apart. Probably not.

Overall Grade: C

James Marsden! I just remembered!

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mostlygibberish · 4 years

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I liked the part with the rats.

James Bond wakes up in a desert with a plastic children’s toy alien blaster strapped to his wrist and a bad case of Protagonist Amnesia. Nobody seems all that concerned by any of this, even when he starts firing lasers and a bunch of aliens show up and wreak havoc.

Generally speaking, I thought the movie was stupid but fun. This was undoubtedly affected by my decision to watch it at 3x speed, as it was already 2:30am when I started it. In fact a couple of scenes managed to overstay their welcome even at this pace. A handful of shots lingered for what felt like a lifetime, despite moving 200% faster than they were intended. You’ve got to REALLY have a pacing problem for it to still be noticeable when I’m so drastically disrespecting your intended runtime. I strongly doubt I would have enjoyed this as much as I did if it wasn’t blazing past me.

Everywhere I looked I saw familiar faces; A strong cast playing weak characters. Clancy Brown was in it, and he will forever be Mr. Krabs to me. The Olivia Wilde love-interest was simultaneously both key to the plot AND totally uninteresting. One particular scene involving her was in fact, the worst in the whole movie by a significant margin.

Visual effects were surprisingly cool, although again I may be overlooking flaws that moved too quickly for me to spot. I liked the alien designs too, especially their ship and the industrial devices they were using.

They must have paid Harrison Ford a lot of money to be in this; He did The Smirk and everything. His character was Racist With A Heart Of Gold and had a surprising amount of the movie devoted to his arc. This arc culminated, of course, with him using a Primitive Spear TM to kill an alien and having an Apache warrior nod approvingly at him, thus ending his racism once and for all. I guess?

Very stupid, quite probably criminally dull to watch in real-time, but kinda goofy-fun.

Side note: I don’t know where in the review to put this, but I could have sworn this movie was called “Cowboys Vs. Aliens”. Well, it should have been; the ampersand is doing them no favours.

#cowboys & aliens #cowboys and aliens #cowboys & aliens 2011 #cowboys and aliens 2011 #movie review

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wonderfulworldofmichaelford · 5 years

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Psycho Analysis: Joker (Suicide Squad)

(WARNING! This analysis contains SPOILERS!)

Boy oh boy, talking about the Joker is always fun! Who are we talking about this time? We’ve covered Ledger’s creepy anarchist and Nicholson’s unhinged mobster, so who do we have left? Romero’s madcap clown? Hamill’s multimedia masterpiece performance? Maybe Joaquin Phoenix’s fresh new take on the most iconic villain in comics?

No… sigh… we’re talking about Jared Leto. Might as well get him out of the way. And while this is certainly not a Joker I like dwelling on, I think there is a fair deal to discuss in regards to this incarnation the Joker, in particular why he fails as a take on Batman’s most famous enemy and what could have been done to fix him, because really, it would not have been hard to make this Joker work.

Actor: Jared Leto is not necessarily a bad actor, but he is certainly not the kind of guy you’d expect to play someone like the Joker. Sure, one of his most famous roles is in Fight Club where he gets his face pulverized, so we know he’s good at getting the crap kicked out of him (a requirement for being the archenemy of a superhero who loves to beat up criminals), but that was a minor role. Here he’s taking on the one comic book villain that even people who have never read a comic could probably name, and I just don’t think someone who is better in supporting roles could pull it off.

Not helping his case is his extremely creepy on-set behavior, where he method acted in incredibly disturbing ways to the point he harassed his costars. Even more baffling is that all the weird, edgy stories of his method acting showed he had no understanding of who Joker is as a character; Joker is not some weird, cringey stalker who sends people dead rats, he’s an unhinged madman who would probably bake a dead rat cake and send it to someone’s house with a bomb inside that would explode at their kid’s birthday, raining dead rats everywhere, all because the kid’s dad cut in front of him at the grocery store.

In all honesty, Leto is probably the biggest problem because of this. It’s the same problem Eisenberg had as Lex Luthor: he doesn’t understand or care about the character he’s playing, and it shows, because it is almost entirely off the rails from what one would expect, and not in a good way.

Motivation/Goals: The Joker in film typically has the goal of causing a ruckus, overturning society in some way, or just being evil in general… but with a fun twist. Joker is always supposed to do stuff because it amuses him. Nicholson’s Joker got this down the best, but even Ledger’s anarchist take on the character got this down extremely well. Here though, Joker is pretty much a bit player in the story, and his entire purpose in the narrative is showcasing Harley’s origin and then showing him coming to rescue her. That’s about the extent of his being in the film: he exists solely to help Harley break free from captivity, which he fails to do until the very end of the film.

This is disappointing in an extremely obvious way: this is THE JOKER. This is a character who demands to be the center of attention. This is a character who hijacked the plot of every single one of the best Batman video games ever made. This is a villain who just won’t die. This is the archenemy to end all archenemies, and yet here in this film he’s playing second fiddle to a CGI witch. A lot of his scenes were apparently cut, which makes things even worse, because we could have perhaps had a better grasp of who he is. As is, Joker is really nothing but a satellite love interest to Harley.

Personality: What little we see from this Joker is mostly unappealing. He’s creepy, he’s crazy, he’s strange, but a lot of it feels recycled from other Jokers and not a unique spin put on by Leto. However, there is one aspect of the character that is truly great and deserving of praise: this Joker almost certainly genuinely loves Harley Quinn, in his own demented way. Finally, an adaptation brings Joker and Harley’s relationship back from “romanticized domestic abuse” to the Mad Love it excelled at being. The director’s cut actually added in a little bit more to really showcase these two do love each other, as crazy as the two of them get. It’s like the saying goes: She was fearless, and crazier than him. She was his queen, and God help anyone who disrespected his queen.

Final Fate: They make it look like Joker dies in a helicopter crash… but it’s Joker. You can count on one hand the amount of times his death actually sticks in any continuity. He survived and busts Harley out at the end, ending the film on a kind of sweet note, honestly.

Too bad it’s one that’s doomed to be undermined by later films, as Birds of Prey is almost certainly going to have Harley kicking Mr. J to the curb and Jared Leto is seemingly cut from the DCEU, and even if he wasn’t it’s doubtful he’d ever be able to get out of Joaquin Phoenix’s shadow at this point. I can’t even jokingly say “Press F to pay respects” here, because neither I nor anyone else respects Jared Leto in the slightest anyway.

Best Scene: I’m a bit fond of the scene where he dives into the chemicals with Harley, if only because it really reinforces that their love, while utterly insane, is genuine in their own twisted way. I honestly really like this take on their relationship.

Best Quote: This entire exchange, because as corny and silly as it all is, again, it reinforces what I think worked with Joker:

The Joker: Question! Would you die for me?

Harley: Yes.

The Joker: That's too easy. Would you... Would you live for me? Hmm?

Harley: Yes.

The Joker: Careful. Do not say this oath thoughtlessly! Desire becomes surrender. Surrender becomes power. You want this?

Harley: I do.

The Joker: Say it. Say it. Say it. Pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty...

Harley: ...Please?

The Joker: God, you're so... good.

Final Thoughts & Score: Jared Leto’s Joker gets a lot of flak for things such as his design, his mannerisms, the overall performance… and I can’t really argue with much of that. While the base design isn’t terrible, the overdone tattoos, particularly the infamous “Damaged” tattoo, really don’t feel much like the Joker. His mannerisms for the most part just don’t scream Joker either, or at least not a particularly new or interesting take on him. And, overall, the performance in general is weak, lackluster, and inconsequential to the film as a whole. I believe even the director has stated Joker would have made for a better antagonist than the magical Enchantress, and frankly I have to agree, especially since it would have given Leto’s Joker more screentime as well as a more grounded threat for the Squad to face on their first mission. Really, considering most of the characters are just normal people with highly trained skillsets or mild mutations, wouldn’t it make more sense for them to fight off an insane gang leader clown rather than an interdimensional witch demon bringing about the apocalypse?

Combine that with what little is good about him in the actual film – namely, his genuine affection for Harley – and it may have actually made for a good, compelling plotline, with a conflicted Harley forced to choose between an insane relationship she loves and her newfound ragtag group of wacky friends. Not only would it have strengthened Harley and Joker’s roles in the narrative, it would have almost certainly given a better lead in to Birds of Prey. Leto’s Joker could have had more of a chance to exert his charm over Harley and perhaps even be more of an intimidating presence on the screen, maybe even use some classic Joker gags. As I said at the start, this character would have been seriously easy to fix. Just clean up the costume, give some better direction, and let him have a more central role that naturally creates conflict while allowing the Squad to develop closer bonds with each other.

Joker shockingly gets a 2/10. Yeah, I don’t think this is the worst abomination ever put to film, and honestly, even among bad comic book villains he’s nowhere near as bad as someone like Malekith, Weapon XI, or Fant4astic Doom; at the very least, this Joker has some redeeming qualities to him that I can’t ignore. He’s certainly one of the worst adaptations of the characters ever, but still, credit where credit is due, he does some things right. It was all just mishandled, as often things were in regards to the DCEU at the time.

#Psycho Analysis #Suicide Squad #Joker #Jared Leto

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kc-anathema · 6 years

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I have opinions on the show.

Like in most things, my opinions do not matter. But they do exist.

They are not positive.

I admit, I don't know what I'd hoped for. A more sardonic take on Leonardo, a more reckless take on the siblings...more property damage, less concern about violence, maybe?

Must I content myself that at least Leonardo could cut a sentient worm in half? I knew the show would be a dumpster fire, but I'd hoped for a fun dumpster fire.

This feels like the Spongebob'ing of the TMNT. The Ren & Stimpying of the TMNT.

And it's boring.

Oh my god, this show is boring.

Teenagers who are ninjas and mutant turtles should not be this boring. But here they are on cell phones cheering for someone else because...relatable? Kids are on their phones all the time, so it's cool to watch our heroes on their phones watching someone else do something cool? I get that Leonardo executed a sweet 3 1/4th rotation trick, but is this seriously the highlight of a ten minute episode? They bust into a mall...to watch their phones? Are their lives this boring unless there’s a villain to liven it up?

They are young, yes, but that is no excuse for boring. They are young teenagers who are mutant turtles who are also ninjas. This is not a recipe for boring. Teenagers are cocky little bundles of sincerity, flashes of brilliance and moments of abject egoism and stupidity. And yet the story flounders in its style while ignoring the life preservers of world building and character building.

Mystic weapons - where do they come from? who forged them? why do they exist? what's the original intent of them? have we learned anything else about them, these weapons which are apparently so important that they are featured so prominently? Not even a glimmer of foreshadowing.

April - who is she? what do we know about her beyond her chronic changing of jobs? We got one glimpse of her home--hardly a character moment as she was passively watching tv. All we know is that she is friends with the turtles, has a 90s level 'attitude,' and swings a baseball bat. how'd she even meet our heroes? if I've missed anything out of watching the episodes, that doesn't exactly bode well for characterization if character points fly by in a blink.

Splinter - the less I say about this character, the better. I have always disliked this character, but this is the first time I also disrespect him.

Donatello - I actually don't mind this characterization, and he's the most enjoyable right now. his budding arrogance and strong emotion is interesting, and while I still enjoy the quieter versions from before, he feels the least stretched out of shape. this is a teenage genius coming into his own, but without the introversion or thoughtfulness of previous Donatellos.

Michelangelo - doesn't feel like Mikey. he just feels there. he's supposed to be more of an artist, but I'm not seeing much in the way of that. it's a shame--it could be interesting to see what he's like, nevermind with this as the weak justification for the design of the lair. why not see Michelangelo actually creating art? Probably not enough wacky hijinx to cram in.

Raphael - I'm not seeing where this responsibility is coming from. In previous incarnations, he chafed against decisions being made for him. In this...what is his core thought process for decision-making? Sometimes it's family safety, sometimes it's taking out bad guys, sometimes it's teenager cockiness...but this leadership doesn't feel like it's coming from the same place. His decisions feel like they come from whatever impetus the show requires. It would be an easy fix, but for now, the comedy about his smell seems to be the only consistent choice for him.

Leonardo - you can see where they're taking the character. he's a liar--no second thought at luring his brothers into harm's way in a maze--adept at thievery--he slips the artifact away from under Splinter's nose and snags a ring right out of a villain's hand. fame oriented, wanting recognition from his brothers, the crowd, while receiving almost none, and openly stated that he wants to be a champion yet falls short. but thievery and deceit are a ninja's tools in trade, so once again, unless I miss my mark, Leonardo's conflict will become the focus that the show pivots on.

Turtles as a Whole - what do their rooms look like? the lair set says it has Mikey's arcade, Donatello's backpack storage, Raph's weights, Leo’s weapons racks...but their own rooms? their own spaces? where are they in the cartoons? easy and quick ways to show the audience their characters, but unless I blinked, I didn't see it.

villains - feel hollow, monster-of-the-week'ish, with little in the way of a story arc and even less in terms of character beyond what springs from the original take of their design. this is maybe the most disappointing for me. I'd hoped for a villain at least equal to Oroku Saki, Karai, the Triceratons, anything. I have a worm, a sweaty pig chef, a looming villain who's only loomed once, some mutant silverfish, some paper folders, a few thugs here and there with a gimmick or two...

and a Mutant City - that hasn't been given any attention.

For a world where mutants seem to abound, to hold repo jobs even, why are the TMNT living underground?

No, really. Why are they living underground? Forget what you know about previous incarnations, forget the Foot, forget ooze, everything. This is a new take. So why are they underground? Why are they in the city? Why do they live with a giant rat? In the 2003 version, their characters were established in the first two minutes, their history divulged quickly. In Mirage, they were established in the first issue to the point that Shredder's story arced and peaked and ended. In the first toon, they took three episodes to establish the world and characters. In 2k12, we see the brothers facing off in conflict that establishes who they are and the tone of the show while demonstrating what's changed all in five minutes.

I still don't know the background for this new show.

I hope it finds its feet soon. I hope it becomes interesting. Right now it feels like it's floating around without an anchor. Unless it solidifies up soon, I don't see it leaving much in the way of an impact on the franchise aside from design choices and children who are raised on this first.

#in a nutshell #I've watched all the episodes #I wasn't exactly expecting Bruce Lee levels of action #but Chuck Norris at least #at least it's more watchable than spongebob ever was

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samisadeangirl · 6 years

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Put me down as another bisexual who is sick of all the “Dean is really bi” bullshit. STOP IT. It’s not cute or funny or cool in any fashion. It’s insulting, offensive, and just wrong.

My sexuality is not determined by the clothes I wear, the food I eat, the decor I use, the hobbies I like, the movies or TV shows I watch, etc., nor is anyone else’s. If I feel like wearing pink or eating pie or whatever, it doesn’t make me more or less bi or more or less straight or anything else. If I compliment someone’s hair or clothes or am flattered if they flirt with me, it doesn’t mean I’m attracted to them. If you believe otherwise, you’re not only an idiot but also a bigot.

Dean as a straight man can wear what he wants, eat what he wants, watch what he wants, and do what he wants, and it doesn’t mean anything more than this is something he likes. This includes admiring or complimenting other men, because people can do that without being attracted to them. And there is NO subtext or hidden meanings to any of this--the writers, producers, and crew involved with costuming and set design on the show have flat-out said so.

My experience as a bisexual may not be exactly “normal.” I’ve had very few sexual encounters with my own gender because I’ve been in a monogamous relationship with a man for over half my life (dating since 1996, married since 2001). But even if I never ever had sex with a woman, if I say I’m bisexual then you need to respect that.

Dean has not only never shown interest in anyone other than women, but he has also repeatedly said that he is straight. Which has been confirmed by Jensen, Eric Kripke, and multiple others. Dean being straight is completely and incontrovertibly canon. Insisting otherwise is incredibly disrespectful and arrogant. And insisting that a canonically straight character like Dean is “really” queer is just as wrong as insisting a canonically queer character like Charlie is “really” straight. That’s called erasure, and it’s offensive and discriminatory.

Who are YOU to say you know better than the character himself, the actor who’s portrayed him for 13+ years, the showrunner who created him, or the writers and producers who help bring him to life? How would YOU feel if people came up to you and told you that you weren’t your actual sexuality, that you were “really” this other sexuality because of these extremely bullshit reasons? If you recognize that it would be shitty if someone did that to you, how is it okay to do that to someone else, even a fictional character?

Lastly, you aren’t fooling anyone. We all know most of you don’t give a rat’s ass about representation or queer rights. If you did, you wouldn’t focus on the one obviously straight character instead of the many openly queer characters on SPN, such as Chuck, Crowley, Charlie, Max Banes, and a whole lot of one-shot characters. We know that you’re really only interested in your damn ship, and that your true agenda is trying to force that ship to be canon. (Which will never happen BTW.) So drop the act and admit you’re just another Destiheller, because right now you’re making yourself look like even more of an asshole.

#homophobia #biphobia #toxic masculinity #erasure #this is offensive #dean is straight #that is canon #get over it #anti destihellers

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junker-town · 5 years

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The 7 best beefs to circle on the NFL calendar

Of course Jalen Ramsey and Baker Mayfield are two of the players with a score to settle in 2019.

Welcome to Revenge Week at SB Nation NFL, where we are celebrating the dish that’s best served cold. You can keep up with all our latest revenge content here.

Everyone loves a classic case of bad blood.

Football is a contentious and confrontational sport by design, but things get ramped up when two of the competitors just plain don’t like each other. You know if Michael Crabtree and Aqib Talib are playing each other — Crabtree officially signed with the Cardinals — you better tune in to see the inevitable chain snatching.

That skirmish started because a player was disrespected and thought he needed to defend his pride. That’s the same dynamic that fuels so many other NFL feuds.

It’s why Jets running back Le’Veon Bell will want to show out when he plays the Steelers this season, and Ravens safety Earl Thomas will get a chance to make the Seahawks pay for not giving him an extension.

Right now, we’re not talking revenge on a former team, though. Charles McDonald already broke down the best of those matchups on the 2019 schedule. Instead, we’re focusing on the best beefs between two players — or maybe a coach and a player — this upcoming season.

Here are the battles in 2019 that have too much animosity for you to miss.

Aqib Talib vs. Michael Crabtree (Rams-Cardinals, Weeks 13 & 17)

The aforementioned chain snatching feud is back on the menu.

Arizona scooped up Crabtree in early August and that’s perfect because it puts him back in the NFC West. That means two (possibly high tension) December matchups against the Rams, and the possibility of another matchup or two with Talib.

Crabtree and Talib got along during joint practices between the Ravens and Rams last year, and they reportedly squashed their beef at a go-kart track earlier in 2019. So maybe it’s done. We’ll see if December football can ramp things back up to their old chain-snatching ways.

ICYMI: #Broncos CB Aqib Talib broke Michael Crabtree's chain necklace, then laughed about it: https://t.co/lb4gi5g4ag pic.twitter.com/gftimX02G7

— Jon Heath (@ByJonHeath) January 1, 2017

Richard Sherman vs. Michael Crabtree (49ers-Cardinals, Weeks 9 & 11)

Talib isn’t the only one who has had problems with Crabtree. Sherman had some harsh things to say about the receiver years ago. Back then, Sherman was a member of the Seahawks and Crabtree with with the 49ers.

The peak of the rivalry came on Jan. 19, 2014. In the NFC Championship, Sherman deflected a would-be game-winning touchdown away from Crabtree, resulting in an interception that sent the Seahawks to the Super Bowl.

Then he tore into Crabtree, calling him a “sorry receiver.”

Let us never forget that time Richard Sherman went off on Michael Crabtree while a terrified Erin Andrews stood next to him. pic.twitter.com/graJKFvxg5

— gifdsports (@gifdsports) March 9, 2018

Things never got quite that contentious between the two again. They only played each other two more times in 2014 and then Crabtree left the division to join the Oakland Raiders. They haven’t seen each other since and Sherman’s rant to Erin Andrews came to define the feud. It pushed Sherman into superstardom and Crabtree’s star has since faded.

A couple more matchups after five years away could stoke those old flames.

A.J. Green vs. Jalen Ramsey (Bengals-Jaguars, Week 7)

Ramsey has annoyed plenty of players in his career in Jacksonville, but nobody has blown their top quite like Green.

In a 2017 game between the Jaguars and Bengals, Green had finally had enough. After about two quarters of getting antagonized, the receiver was set off by one more push from Ramsey. Green choked, tossed, and punched the cornerback and both players were ejected.

Green was suspended for a game, and apologized for losing his cool.

A.J. Green -- "I apologize to my teammates, Mr. Brown, and everybody, because that is not who I am. It just got the best of me today."

— Katherine Terrell (@Kat_Terrell) November 5, 2017

But Ramsey only tried to further stoke the flames. He reportedly tried to find his way to the Bengals�� locker room after the ejections. Days later, he told reporters that Green was “soft,” “weak,” and not “mentally strong.”

Jalen Ramsey sounded off at AJ Green after practice: pic.twitter.com/NbeVK1kTTQ

— NFL Update (@MySportsUpdate) November 9, 2017

Ramsey has provoked what sometimes feels like half of the league in the couple years since. The fight was out of character for Green, though. He’s generally a mild-mannered, quiet player who hasn’t had problems with anyone else.

Green’s even dismissed the idea that he and Ramsey have a problem.

“There’s no real beef,” Green told PFT Live. “There’s no real beef off the field. There’s just two competitors. Got in the heat of the moment. Stuff happens. When you’re playing, it’s sports man. You know, tempers go crazy sometimes, and sometimes you can’t control emotions. I couldn’t control mine that day. [I’ve] got to do a better job of that.”

Does that mean part two will be less contentious? Maybe. But Ramsey’s still going to be someone who talks trash constantly, and you have to imagine Green badly wants to avenge his frustrating first performance against the cornerback.

You shouldn’t expect another brawl between the two, but this midseason clash will surely have some heat.

Baker Mayfield vs. Kliff Kingsbury (Browns-Cardinals, Week 15)

Most of the time a coach vs. player beef wouldn’t be that exciting to watch — not so when Mayfield is involved, though. He’s the type of player who will air his dirty laundry out in the open.

After all, the iciest death stare of the 2018 NFL season came from none other than Mayfield and was directed at his former coach, Hue Jackson.

Baker Mayfield staring down Hue Jackson pic.twitter.com/GIOTBemQF1

— Vikings Blogger (@firstandskol) December 23, 2018

So don’t be surprised if Mayfield has even more attitude reserved for another one of his former coaches: Kingsbury. He probably has even more reason to have a chip on his shoulder when facing Kingsbury than he did with Jackson too.

Jackson was fired by the Browns before joining the Bengals — which somehow pissed off Mayfield. In the case of Kingsbury, it was Mayfield who was spurned.

In 2013, Mayfield walked on to Kingsbury’s Texas Tech squad and earned the starting job for the opener of his true freshman season. By the end of the year, he was the Big 12 Offensive Freshman of the Year, although an injury cleared the way for Davis Webb to steal his starting role.

The situation rubbed Mayfield the wrong way and he left Texas Tech to join Oklahoma.

“When I got hurt, there was no communication between me and my coach,” Mayfield told ESPN. “When I got healthy, I didn’t know why I wasn’t playing right away. At that time, we were losing a couple games in a row. I was still clueless as to why I wasn’t playing. That was really frustrating for me because I started the first five games and we won. So, I just didn’t really know exactly what he was thinking or what the situation was.”

Between 2015 and 2017, Mayfield was a three-time All-Big 12 selection and beat Kingsbury’s Texas Tech teams three times along the way. He wound up with a Heisman Trophy, was the No. 1 pick in the 2018 NFL Draft, and enters his second season with the Browns with expectations sky high.

There’s not a lot of reason for Mayfield to harbor hard feelings, because things certainly worked out well for him post-Texas Tech. Except, this is Mayfield. He feeds off of revenge. There’s no doubt he will jump at the chance to stick it to the coach who he thinks didn’t believe in him.

Ben Roethlisberger vs. Terrell Suggs (Steelers-Cardinals vs. Week 14)

Suggs and Roethlisberger battled in the AFC North for 15 years. Now Suggs will don a different uniform for the first time in his career after joining the Cardinals on a one-year deal.

In December he’ll get another chance, likely his last, to bring down Big Ben.

Both players have experienced success in their long history of Ravens vs. Steelers matchups. Suggs has sacked Roethlisberger 17 times, more than any other player. Roethlisberger’s 13 victories in the regular season — and two more in the playoffs — against Baltimore are the most any player has ever had against the franchise.

The (presumptive) final chapter will look a lot different with Suggs wearing red. And the ill will between the two players is closer to a case of frenemies than true rivals.

“I think there’s a lot of mutual respect there between each other,” Roethlisberger said during the 2018 season. “There’s a little bit of talking on the field — I wouldn’t call it trash-talking — but there’s some mutual respect trash-talking, if you will, that goes on. It’s a special rivalry he and I have.”

Suggs hasn’t been as effusive when talking about Roethlisberger, but he was friendly enough to swap jerseys with the quarterback after their last duel of the 2018 season. Over the years, he’s called Roethlisberger a “rat bastard” with “Jedi mind tricks.” He’s also warned everybody not to fall for the quarterback’s supposed injuries.

Suggs has no doubt that Roethlisberger will play on Sunday: "How you doin', Benjamin?" pic.twitter.com/lEwQbP15EM

— Baltimore Ravens (@Ravens) November 2, 2016

But hatred has never really been the backbone of their grudge. Both players will be 37 for their Week 14 game, and even if it’s not quite as spicy as other feuds, it’s one we should all appreciate getting to see one last time.

Richie Incognito vs. Yannick Ngakoue (Raiders-Jaguars, Week 15)

The silly rivalry that’s brewing between the Bills and Jaguars is great fun. However, one of its most unfortunate chapters came shortly after their postseason meeting in January 2018.

After the Jaguars’ win, defensive end Ngakoue accused Bills offensive lineman Incognito of saying “some weak racist slurs” during the game. Other Buffalo linemen denied the accusation and an NFL investigation concluded it had no proof slurs were said.

A few weeks later at the Pro Bowl, Ngakoue and Incognito reportedly cleared the air.

So maybe they buried the hatchet. Or maybe the two will play with a little extra edge when the Jaguars and Raiders meet in December.

Sean Payton vs. Marcus Peters (Saints-Rams, Week 2)

The Great Gumbo Grudge started in November 2018 when the Saints picked on Rams cornerback Peters in a 45-35 win. The New Orleans offense couldn’t be stopped, but it was receiver Michael Thomas, especially, who couldn’t be contained.

Peters was in coverage for seven of Thomas’ 12 receptions and gave up 146 of the receiver’s 211 yards. That included a 72-yard touchdown for Thomas in the final minutes that put the game on ice.

Payton told reporters that Thomas burning Peters was exactly how they drew it up.

“That was the plan,” Payton said, via the Los Angeles Times. “They were going to travel Marcus to him, and that was fine by us. We thought we really liked that matchup — a lot.”

Peters responded by telling reporters he looked forward to a potential rematch:

Marcus Peters looks forward to playing the Saints again, and sharing a bowl of gumbo with Sean Payton. pic.twitter.com/W5Kpmm5P4M

— Lindsey Thiry (@LindseyThiry) November 9, 2018

“Tell Sean Payton keep talking that shit, we’re going to see him soon,” Peters said. “You feel me? I liked what he was saying on the sidelines too. So I’ll tell [him] ‘Keep talking that shit and I hope you see me soon. You feel me? And then we’re going to have a nice little bowl of gumbo together.”

Peters got his wish when the Rams and Saints faced off in the NFC Championship Game. In the second meeting, he gave up only two receptions for 28 yards, although the Rams floated several different cornerbacks over to cover Thomas. Still, when presented with a clear opportunity for an “I told you so,” Peters opted against it.

Marcus Peters: “I don’t even like gumbo. I was just bullshitting y’all.”

— Dan Wolken (@DanWolken) January 21, 2019

[infomercial voice] But wait, there’s more!

The next chapter of this particular rivalry is great because it’s not just Peters vs. Payton. It’s also the whole damn city of New Orleans vs. the Rams.

The Saints would’ve been in Super Bowl 53 if it weren’t for an atrocious missed call. Rams cornerback Nickell Robey-Coleman clearly got away with a pass interference penalty that — if called — would’ve set up the Saints to run out the clock and kick a game-winning field goal. Even the Rams admitted it should’ve been a penalty.

Instead, Los Angeles got the chance to force overtime with a field goal of its own and eventually won.

Saints fans had a big, angry parade and went so far as to file a futile lawsuit against the NFL for the result. Payton — who said the blown call was the most obvious pass interference penalty ever — led the charge for a rule change that will now let coaches challenge interference penalties.

There will be fireworks when the rematch happens in Week 2. There will also be a chance for the Saints to get some vengeance. But Payton and Peters are at the root of it all.

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the-kawaiifan · 8 years

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Female Representation in Pokémon

A little bit ago, the last episode of Pokémon Generations finally graced the YouTube cyberspace. I gleefully clicked on the thumbnail and watched. I loved the animation and story telling, and getting to see AZ’s backstory fleshed out more was a blast. At the end of the episode, a cameo of the protagonist could be seen.

It was Calem.

I remember commenting my frustration about the lack of a female protagonist, which of course resulted in wave after wave of “haha triggered feminist”.

Aside from how much I despise the triggered meme (that’s a rant for another day), this got me thinking. I started asking myself just why I cared so much. Why it mattered whether or not a girl was there if it didn’t make any difference to the end product.

Throughout the franchise, female protagonists feel very second fiddle. It took 4 years for female players to even play as the gender they identify as. It was never even explained why. Artwork exists for a female option in Red and Green, but it was never implemented. By the time Leaf made her in-game debut, she was basically just tacked on. Future games emphasized this even further, since while Red is celebrated in all his glory, Leaf is treated as non-existent. It was also strange that Kris, the very first playable female character, was excluded from her own damn remake. That’s just disrespectful.

A counter argument that appeared in that slew of YouTube comments pointed out that in regards of animated appearances, the girls have WAY more representation than the male protagonists. The guys get mere cameos and a 4 episode special, while the girls spend hundreds of episodes traveling with Ash. Now, this is a valid point.

But it’s not the same. The Dawn in the anime is not the same as the Dawn in the games. The games are meant for the player to play and project onto and experience. The anime is something for a viewer to passively view. In the anime, Dawn is not us. She is her own character.

And while Ash has had many great female traveling companions with unique personalities, backstories, goals, ambitions, they’re still secondary characters. Ash is still the idiot protagonist who is destined to be going nowhere fast. According to the formula, his female companions are destined to expire. After a zapping from Pikachu, after traveling for a few hundred episodes, they leave and are replaced. Rinse and repeat.

In 2008 there was an interview with Masamitsu Hidaka; the director of the anime. He was asked about the nature of the show and how they like to switch up the cast. He said that he liked to “switch up the girls because it gives the boys some new eye candy every once in a while”

“girls are more customizable and you can change their outfits, like when they are in their bathing suits”

“Ken Sugimori designs a new girl with each generation and that gives them another excuse to switch the girl”

No matter how well written and likable (or unlikable in Iris’ case) the female companions are, it doesn’t really matter if they’re just gonna be tossed out anyways. The main anime treats them as disposable.

The main anime is also aimed at young kids. Always has, always will. It’s clear at this point that no one takes it seriously anymore.

On the gaming side of things, Pokémon has released some animated trailers for a few titles. For Black and White 2, Rosa can be seen having a gym battle. That’s all she does. Meanwhile Nate is picking out his starter, challenging a gym, chasing down ninjas, fending off a mob of grunts, talking to colress, etc. He is doing all the important stuff, and Rosa is just a regular trainer. For Omega Ruby and Alpha Sapphire, it seems a little more even. Both Brendan and May are battling, mega evolving, bonding with their pokémon and riding the lati twins. But while Brendan is taking on tougher challenges like Steven, May is being frightened by bugs and performing in contests. May is the demure one that gets to show off a side feature that almost no one cares about, while Brendan gets to demonstrate the main feature.

I haven’t read much of the Pokémon Adventures manga (only the RGB chapter), but I do know a little about it from internet exposure alone. I’m sure it has great female characters, but doesn’t it strike as odd at all? The protagonists are named after the game titles, and the main male one always gets the first title. The girl will typically be named after the second game (assuming a male rival doesn’t snatch it first).

Throughout the games, manga and anime, the second fiddle nature of how the girls are treated is pretty consistent. This is disturbing to me because of what the protagonists are supposed to represent: you. These protagonists are meant to be a vessel for us to interact with the pokémon world through. We are supposed to project ourselves onto them. They are you. They are me. They are us. By treating female protagonists as secondary while featuring the guys in more prominent roles, the message is that female players are not as important. Boys get the priority, while girls have to wait a few years to even be playable. Guys can be heroes and champions, while girls are just regular trainers. Boys can travel the world with an electric rat and have the same repetitive story go on for 20 years, while girls are disposable eye candy. Boys can make cameos in a series of shorts aimed at an adult audience and is a really huge deal, while girls are reserved for a cyclical childrens show that everyone is tired of and no one takes seriously anymore.

#pokemon #feminism #female protagonist #player character #games #anime #manga #rant #representation

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