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keysorsomething · 10 months

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Before the Sun Rises / Caught

1 | 2 | 3 | 5 | 6 | 7

The double feature chapters I wrote :) Just wanna say thanks to everyone who's supported these fics, it makes me very happy to see all the likes and reblogs !!

Cross-posted on ao3

Before the Sun Rises

You awake the next morning with no pressure on your chest and nothing in your arms. Still half-asleep, you look around the room. You’re disoriented, like when you take a three-hour nap in the middle of a weekday and wake up covered in sweat and unaware of the concept of time. One thing you catch is that the room is still dark, but you would guess that it’s always dark in here. You haven’t seen a window, after all. You start to rub the sleep from your eyes, fighting a yawn as you try to find the man who seems to have disappeared into the night. Melting into the darkness, as he had each time before.

“Nikto?” You ask, sitting up. Or at least you try, before strong hands meet your shoulders and shove you back into the pillow. You spot his blue eyes staring down at you almost ridiculing, clearly not pleased with your attempt to get out of bed. It’s almost startling, the speed and force with which you’re slammed back, not the hardest you had been slammed into something, but it was sure lacking any form of gentle grace you would expect from the motion. In this context at least. But you’re too tired to really think about the strength in him like you had before or to think about how he had seemingly teleported into your sight and personal space with no sign of where he was prior.

“Stay,” Nikto’s voice growls out. You look up at him, confused and groggy. He lowers himself back on the bed, and then back onto your chest. “I was not done,” He huffs, taking the sleeve of your shirt between two fingers. He pulls on the fabric, turning it over in his hand. His eyes narrow at it, as if your sleeve had offended him.

“Okay,” You mumble, letting your eyes fall back shut. You spend a while like that, enjoying it. Laying on your back with him on your chest, feeling the gentle pull of his hand as he busies himself with your shirt sleeve. It’s a moment of peace, expanded when he stops pulling at your sleeve - it was actually kind of annoying - and instead, his hand rests on your bicep, unmoving. He lets out a soft sigh, and you assume he closed his eyes too. Your breathing synchronizes, as your hand goes back to rubbing his shoulders like you had been doing the night before.

“You will come back tonight,” He states firmly, breaking the shared moment of silence. Your eyes shoot open and your hands pause, unsure how exactly to respond. You did want to come back again. Hell, you wanted to move in with him. You dare to even think you want the world to melt away, for time to be this moment and this moment alone, always and forever, but should you really let him boss you around like that? Should you just agree? Should you agree enthusiastically, with a ‘yes, sir!’? Or do you say no on principle?

“Can you ask nicely?” In a patronizing tone is what comes out of your mouth instead. Like a mom talking to a toddler who just demanded ice cream or something. You don’t have many references for modern-day parenting in the army. Maybe you shouldn’t compare those two things, that was kind of weird. But it wasn’t mansplaining patronizing - and you knew mansplaining, since that was the only thing that came out of Graves’ mouth - it was the other kind. You had no other words for it.

Nikto groans, presumably rolling his eyes, “You will please visit us again tonight,” He corrects, but he doesn’t seem all too happy about it. “пожалуйста?” He breaks out the big guns. How do you deny a masked man who’s speaking in his mother tongue? It may be your biggest weakness.

You sigh, conceding, “Okay. I will,” And he lets out a pleased rumble. A sound you could very much get used to.

“Now go back to sleep,” He huffs grumpily. “пожалуйста..?” You almost listen instantly, but then another thought pops into your head.

“What time is it?” You ask, the thought of being caught once more nagging at the very back of your psyche. He lets out another less-than-pleased huff of a breath at you, this time through his nose. But, hey, is he really blaming you for worrying about both your careers? His head shifts so his eyes meet yours better, and you see a small smudge of eye black left over from him watching it on his right eyelid, hugging the lash line. It almost looks like eyeliner. You also see the curve of his nose. That is skin that is clearly scarred, looking like it would be rough to touch. Healed burns, probably. Chemical burns that stretch over from the right of his face. You aren’t too sure how the mask is doing that, as all of the points where it attaches to the blast plate seem intact, and it’s only a small dip from where it normally sits. You decide not to comment on it, however.

“Early. Four-fifty or so,” He replies firmly. “I would not let you overstay your welcome,” His words are aggressive in phrasing but soft in tone. An odd combo he seems to use often, which you can’t be sure if that is just him or because he isn’t a native English speaker. But, his brows soften too, his hand sliding up but hesitating to make contact with your face or hair. It retreats away. When you look into his eyes, you feel like he wants nothing more than to touch you, and you feel he agrees that this moment is ever so precious. But he doesn’t want to touch you. Perhaps he’s afraid, or perhaps he doesn’t like his face being touched, so he won’t touch yours. The Golden Rule and all that. But you still smile softly down at him, gently rubbing his back. A silent encouragement to do as he pleases, one that is not listened too. After just a beat, you speak again. There’s no point in making the fleeting movement a whole ordeal.

“Well, wake me up when I have,” You tell him, trying to keep your voice low and comforting, the way he likes. He nods in response, eyes staring up at you warily. You both share for a moment the fear of being found out, but you don’t voice it to him. And he does not voice it back.

“Of course,” Nitko mumbles, sliding back into the position he was before your question. You chuckle, wrapping your arms tight around him as he matches the gesture, and lean your head into his. You take a deep breath, letting the whole moment sink into you. The warmth and weight of the man on your chest, the sound of his breathing, the feeling of the cold, hard blast plate against your cheek. It’s all the best thing to ever happen in this place, and you have a feeling it’s the best thing to have ever happened to him.

You sigh, it's nice to share this moment with him. Every moment over the past few days had been precious. You let your head fall back - you had been keeping it up to look at him - but keep your eyes on him as best you can. You still your hand on his back, letting your arm fall limp. He shifts his head slightly on your chest, fully committed to using you as a pillow. The image of him and his peacefully rising chest is wiped away by your eyes falling back shut.

---

Caught

You reawaken to a soft patting of a gloved hand on your cheek. Your eyes open to Nikto just a few inches from his face, his hand gently twapping your cheek to wake you up. You groan, your muscles stretching as best you can under the weight.

“It is time you leave,” He mumbles, but you can see the disappointment in his eyes. “You do not have much time to get back to the barracks before the rest wake up.”

You pout, blinking up at him, “…How come you get a room all to yourself? It’s not fair,” You mumble, closing your eyes. His bed was so much more comfortable than your cot. And it was so much better than sleeping in a room with multiple other people. Just you and him. There’s a moment where you desire much more of this. So much more of this, in a much more domestic manner, but that fantasy is short-lived by a second round of pats on your cheek that don’t relent until your eyes open back up.

“It was a specific request,” Nikto replied, eyes narrowed on you as he tries to keep you from falling back asleep. As always, they are an icy blue that doesn’t match the feeling of having them on you at all. But by now they feel so much cooler than before, like a warm hug or a heated blanket instead of a hot iron. “I told them I would not take the job if they did not accommodate me.”

You nod, rubbing your eyes with a huff. That makes sense, you think. He seems like the guy to do that. Your eye opens now that your hand isn’t over it, and he hasn’t moved. Something a part of you deep inside is grateful for. You don’t know how well you could cope if he was gone just like that. Like how he had appeared earlier. That thought doesn’t last long, none of them do. He was just so much to think about. His eyes are wide, wild as they look down at you. He seems to think that you’re a lot to think about too. Or perhaps you’re assigning that to him, like when people speak for dogs and cats. You’ve been doing that with him a lot more often since that night in the armory. His eyes get a little less wide, and then even less wide. Until his eyes look closed, but you can tell they’re still partly open. God, he has pretty eyelashes.

He then, all at once, presses his still-masked face into yours. The fabric of the mask covering his mouth is rough against your lips. There’s no movement under it, almost as if he’s just smooshing his lips into yours like he isn’t sure how to do it. You feel the cold metal of the blast plate pushing into your forehead like a headache. It almost hurts, but there’s no way it’s enough. Somehow being too much and too little, but not just right. Your hand goes up to cup his cheek, but you don’t get the chance too. You didn’t even get the chance to close your eyes or lean into the kiss. It’s gone all at once, the same way it came. The pressure on your chest where he was laying there, on your forehead where the protruding parts of the metal dug into your skull, the rough fabric almost painfully hot on the skin of your lips, all of it. He pulls away before you can fully process it, before you can take it in for all of its glory. He rolls off of you, laying on the bed next to you facing away, partly curled up. You have to take a moment before you can do anything. You just kissed the Nikto. No, you were just kissed by The Nikto.

“Nikto?” You ask, voice soft and wavering, like if you speak too loud you’ll create a rip in space-time and it will have never happened. He cuts you off before you get any more in.

“Go,” He responds gruffly, and you nod, pulling off the bed. You’re a little stunned, and you do have places to be. You’d be worried that he was upset with you, but you have a feeling he’s just processing it, the same as you. Maybe he’s worried you’re upset with him? You almost feel like you need to cover up, and are subconsciously pulling the covers with you as you try to. You notice when you almost trip, but you catch yourself and throw them back on the bed. You take a deep breath, trying to ground yourself before speaking. And before leaving. You had appearances to keep up once you got back to the barracks and you had the three musketeers riding your dick.

“Okay,” You squeak, backing away. Your voice sounds so much more pathetic than you wanted it too, and you really can’t be having that. “See you tonight,” You say very quickly, hoping he’ll know you aren’t upset with him. You then promptly spin on your heels, and swing the door open. You go to step out of the room when you come face to face with a chest. You look up with a soft curse, only to find judging blue eyes staring back at yours from under a makeshift mask. The eyes are hard, angry. You’re in trouble.

“Oh, good morning, Colonel,” You manage to get out through a panicked breath. His arm is raised, you had interrupted him mid-knock. He lowers it, and it’s easy to tell his scowling down at you, eyes narrowing further. He bends slightly at the waist, and you hear the fabric shift and Nikto starts to speak when the room behind you goes silent. König looks behind you, and then back down at you, inching ever closer.

Then, you hear your voice hissed through teeth, a heavy Austrian accent filling your ears.

#call of duty #nikto cod #cod mw2 #nikto x reader #nikto #cod nikto

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givehimthemedicine · 9 months

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It's not a competition // elmax (ish) ficlet

coma angst. Lucas and El both love Max. both are sure it's the other Max loves. (heads up this is very open ended. it's not supposed to be elumax)

At first, the party visited Max constantly and in groups, in pairs. After all she'd been through, no one wanted her to be alone.

When the initial shock wore down, the visits split into shifts. Max would be just as not-alone with one person at a time as she would with two or three.

As days turned into weeks, the visits spread out even more, and settled into a pattern:

Lucas is the one most often spending the whole of visiting hours with Max, trading off occasionally with shorter visits from the others.

El doesn't visit very often - not in person. As the only one able, she spends all night, every night, at Max's side in the blackness of the void.

Over time, it's a serious drain on her energy and blood. Hop and Joyce try to get her to stop for the sake of her health, but there's quite literally nothing they can do about it. They buy her some supplements and try to keep the house quiet while she sleeps during the day.

Eventually, it happens: a day when everyone's schedules clash and nobody can be with Max in the daytime.

So El says she will go. And something in Lucas boils over.

He tells El to stay home. To leave her be.

He says it's not the end of the world if Max spends an afternoon alone. He says she isn't even aware anyone visits her in the first place, and if she is, she might be desperate for time alone - she'd be snapping at them demanding space if she was awake, wouldn't she?

And he isn’t wrong. Even if by some miracle Max IS aware of their presence in the daytime, there’s no way she’s aware of El’s company by night. El knows that.

She says it's okay for him to need a break, but that if he doesn't go, she will.

Lucas looks furious, like she meant that as an accusation, although she's pretty sure he isn't really.

He loves Max, but he does need a break. They both do. They are both exhausted, traumatized kids. But for El to refuse to take a break puts him in a hard position.

He has already said out loud that he thinks it's okay for Max to sleep alone for an afternoon, and now he's trying not to feel like that is an act of desertion, or a milestone in beginning to let go.

Defiant against absolutely no opposition, Lucas digs in. Says he will come as often as he can, but it won't be all day every day, and that he's not in the wrong for that.

El wholeheartedly agrees.

He digs in deeper.

He says El should take time off and rest, too. Says what if something happens, what if Vecna comes back and El is too weak to fight, then they're all screwed. He looks a little sorry as he says it; he's pressing a sore spot on purpose. It's not fair for that responsibility to be on El's shoulders, but it just kind of is.

She says he is right, and maybe he mistakes that as agreement.

Maybe he had done this thinking that El would follow his lead. But she doesn't.

This is not a competition. El isn't trying to win. She just can't handle the idea of Max being left alone.

What if Max wakes up terrified and no one is there? What if she thinks none of her friends care? What if there's the tiniest sliver of a chance Max is trapped somewhere? Still hiding like Will once was, captive and suffering, and El is her only hope - how can she take a day off?

And if there's any fighting to be done while she's exhausted, well, she'll just have to do what she always does: fight anyway.

So when no one else goes, El goes.

She sits and holds Max's hand, and the next thing she knows, a nurse is nudging her to say visiting hours are over, and she's furious with herself for having dozed off with her cheek smushed against the edge of the hospital bed.

Instead of "goodnight," she tells Max "be right back," and goes home and puts on her blindfold, and sits with Max that way for as long as she can stay conscious.

Before long, Lucas gives up and starts coming every day again.

It's not jealousy, it's guilt. He feels bad that El is picking up his slack when she's a wreck already. Using her powers for hours every night leaves her with that pale, blood-vesselly look, and a day isn’t enough time to recover fully, so she just looks like that all the time now. People think she's another patient, and if she keeps this up, she may need to be.

Lucas says it's for El's benefit sometimes that he sits with Max, so that she will please get some rest.

That isn't a lie, but she thinks it's also that he feels he has to match the standard El is setting.

Maybe someday Max will ask who spent the most time at her side, and he wants to be able to say it was him.

El understands because she wants it to be her, although she'll never say it was.

It’s not a competition, but neither wants to lose.

Lucas's steps ripple into the blackness around Max's hospital bed, signaling 8 AM. Beginning of visiting hours.

"Morning, Max." He settles into his chair and murmurs his usual, "Night, El."

El leans over to administer her little ritual outlet of affection.

"Goodnight, angel," she whispers, leaving a kiss on Max's temple. Same as every time she leaves.

Max would bristle at the name, but it reminds El of one of few truly happy moments in her life. She had liked the way Max's lips treated the word angel when she sang it.

It's the one indulgence she allows herself in here. She doesn't see any harm. Max will never know.

El lets go and slides straight into sleep without opening her eyes. Too tired to wipe the warmth from her nose even though the tissue is already in her hand. Her pillowcases are all stained anyway.

Not thirty minutes later, Hopper is waking her to relay the call he’s just gotten: Max is awake.

She tries to focus harder on being overjoyed than on being disappointed to have missed it. Or grieved that it must look like she doesn't care because she wasn't there.

What she wanted most was for Max not to be alone. And she wasn't. So that's a win.

But maybe it was a little bit of a competition, because she also kind of feels like she's lost.

She wishes there were rockets on Hop’s car to make it go faster.

El bounds into the hospital room, still with pillow marks on her cheek and blood flakes on her lip - and her spirits fall.

Max looks exactly the same. Small and still and sleeping.

El looks questioningly to Lucas, who's in his usual chair at her bedside.

"She’s asleep," he whispers, which he doesn't usually. "Regular sleep." He stares at Max a few seconds and then smiles, almost laughs to himself. It's been weeks since she's seen his teeth. "Slept 34 days and she needs a nap."

El smiles softly, coming closer and sitting in the chair opposite him.

She looks at Max's pale fingers interlaced with Lucas's, and then at Max’s closer hand, free. She touches the edge of the cast just before where it reveals her fingers. She wants to do the same thing they're doing, but she can think of a couple reasons why she shouldn’t.

She stares hard at Max's face for any smidge of a difference from the way she's looked all these weeks. Nothing.

She thinks about ways she could wake Max accidentally on purpose. She's desperate.

"How was she?"

"She can see," Lucas answers. They share a grin, both happy for her, although after how long the mystery has plagued them, she wonders why the grin fades as quickly as it does.

There's kind of a weird feeling in the room.

"Did she say anything?"

He looks across at her, but before he answers, Susan arrives.

Susan hugs Lucas and smiles hello to her. El didn't know they were on hugging terms, and doesn't know why she feels funny about that. (Yes she does.) She doesn't want to hug Susan, but - it's not important.

They leave the woman alone with her daughter and go out to the waiting room.

Lucas goes to stretch his legs and brings back two paper cones of water. He drinks his in one gulp, then sits next to El and starts flattening and fidgeting with the cup.

"Your name was the first thing she said."

Her eyes dart to his, but she isn't sure what reaction to give, so she doesn't give one.

It's not a competition. She might be winning.

"Maybe she thought -"

"Her eyes work." His tone is of correcting her, but when he repeats it again, he is correcting himself. "Her eyes work. She's awake. It's great. It's amazing." He leans back in the chair so the plastic back squeaks, and rubs his face.

"It's great," El echoes. “I’m glad you were here.”

It was better for Max to wake up to Lucas. Had she awakened on El’s shift instead, she would have thought she was alone.

“Yeah,” he answers rather tonelessly.

He isn’t sulking. It’s just that he’s won what he thought they were competing for and still feels like he’s lost.

El observes him half-secretly for a moment. "She loves you.”

He exhales, same tone. "Yeah."

He starts tearing his cup with absentminded precision.

"I can't compete with you," he says quietly.

"What?"

"I wish I could do all that for her. The stuff you do. I would if I could."

His cup is getting to be just one long ragged strip of paper.

By either biting or staying quiet, El gets to decide whether they are actually doing this. She kind of surprises herself by biting.

"That is the same thing I think about you," she says, and this is what gets him to look over at her.

"Don't worry, Lucas,” she adds softly. “She would not choose me."

She hadn't meant that to sound so sad. It's just that she realized how true it was while she was saying it.

Lucas is her friend, and she wants him to be happy. She smiles at him - sincerely, but kind of mechanically - and looks away again.

She can feel him studying her the way people do, sometimes, when they are trying to figure out whether she understands what she has just said.

"I think she already has."

El’s mouth twists. “She needs friends, right now, I think.”

Lucas nods quickly. They are not going to burden Max with any of this.

Max has not been in the mood to be in a relationship for a long while, and she probably feels even less ready now. She does not need romance right now, she just needs love.

And for as long as Max is looking for that kind of love, she might choose El.

But in the long run, she will choose Lucas.

She chose Lucas in the beginning and she will choose him again in the end, as soon as she is well enough. Because no matter how important El's friendship is to her, Max is still a normal girl and Lucas is a normal boy, and... normal people go together.

It's terribly selfish of her to be thinking about how her own happiness factors into this, anyway. It's Max's that is important. Whatever makes Max happy, that's what El wants for her.

"I don't want us to be.." she isn't sure how to say.

"Me neither," Lucas adds.

She rests her head against his shoulder to make sure they aren't fighting, and is glad when he leans his head on hers.

She's never been so happy to see two crystal blue eyes land on her.

El grins huge, her own eyes wet as she walks into the hospital room ahead of Lucas.

Max can't move her head because of the neck brace, but she manages a weak smile, watching El come closer. That smile fades a bit as she gets a good look at her.

El realizes how different she must look since the last time Max saw her.

It feels like Max is not just seeing her, but seeing into and through her. She knows what El's overexertion looks like. What bone-deep exhaustion and weeks without sleep and pretending to be okay looks like.

Right before her eyes, Max is putting together all the things El was not going to tell her. She isn't sure she hopes Max puts everything together.

"Hi," El says, whispering without having planned to, like a full-strength greeting might jar her bones loose again.

Max's "Hi" is so small and weak, but it’s the best thing El has ever heard.

After how desperate she's been to talk with her for weeks, she finds that she has no idea what to say.

She carefully takes Max's fingers and is overjoyed at the sensation of them squeezing back. They just look at each other for a minute.

The corner of Max's mouth turns up just a little, and El grins because she knows something witty is coming, and that alone is priceless.

Max manages a very raspy, "You look like shit."

El chuckles her way gradually into a laugh that gets bigger and bigger until she's keeled over against Max's arm, laughing so hard she's crying. And then there isn't really any laughing involved at all anymore, she's just plain crying, really hard.

The reaction confuses her. She's been so acclimated to crushing pressure that she doesn't know how to handle the release.

She looks up and finds Max watching her. Her eyes are glazed and tired, but they're clear and blue and beautiful and aware and leaking tears. It’s so good to see her cry pure, clear, harmless tears.

El knows that she herself is bloodshot and snotty and probably the worst she's ever looked in her life, and she isn't bothered in the slightest that Max is seeing her, because Max is seeing her. And smiling.

She dries Max's tears before her own. Max's lids look slow to reopen, like she’s fighting sleep.

"You're tired."

Her brows dip for an instant, with a faint noise of protest.

El gets it. The idea of her going back to sleep is kind of scary.

“We’re here,” El assures her. “You can rest as long as you need. We will still be here.”

Max's eyes check the room in a way that makes El turn and look, too. Lucas isn't there. She guesses she appreciates him leaving them to their moment.

She wonders whether it was as good a moment as his and hers. He probably said something sweet to her that he spent all that time preparing. Something better than hi.

It’s not a competition.

"Get some sleep.”

Max's fingers twitch in hers. "You."

El smiles softly, nodding. She curls her fingers around Max's.

"Wake me. Okay?"

"Hmh." It might mean yes, or no, or it might just be a noise.

El lodges her head against Max's shoulder.

"Mmnighngel," Max murmurs under her breath.

El's head snaps up, as if staring at Max's lips for a full minute will help clarify what she already said.

Her breathing and the beeps of the monitors are slowing. It might have just been a noise.

El puts her head back down, and for the first time in weeks, surrenders to a guiltless sleep.

#this is elmax really but I don't feel like actually writing an elmax resolution because then I'd be sad for lucas #anyone who tags this elumax I'm gonna break into your house and replace your milk with another milk with a slightly sooner exp date #elmax #ficlet #fic #mine #this has been kicking around my drafts forever and it aint gettin nobetternis

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leantailean · 10 months

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Hey for we need to talk about toko. Have you ever shared headcanons for their wedding/proposal. In my mind zuko would be proposing and it would something very intimate for just them. I also think theyd keep keep it secret for a little bit not wanting to rush. For the wedding i like to think it would be iroh walking toph down the aisle. Modern they would so there vows private cause they both seem like people who would want to have those moments just them. Let me know what you think.

Hello anon! Thank you for such an interesting question!

Toph is the one who figured out her feelings for Zuko first. As someone more mature and more collected, she realized how much she loved him and admitted to herself that she is in love much earlier than Zuko.

Zuko's affection for Toph grows gradually, year after year, because she is the only one of his friends who spends the most time with him after the end of the war, stays in the palace for many months, and step by step, over the the next 5-6 years, becomes the closest person for him. he consults with her on political issues, she makes dirty jokes about his ministers and generals, And they are sparring when they have some free time.

Zuko, in his usual manner, is terribly silly and cannot understand his feelings for her. He is afraid of his budding love, afraid that he will ruin everything and lose his best friend. Toph notices his awkwardness, but thinks that she was too ugly and loud for him and made him tired of their friendship. Two idiots.

At some point, Zuko talks about his confused feelings to his uncle, and he, as usual, straightens his brains out. Iroh tells him he is risking losing her. And Zuko, confused with a blushy tomato-red face, catches Toph in the garden the day before her departure home and immediately dumps on her all his feelings. There are no emotions on Toph's face, and when Zuko begins to think about whether to wait until he is hit by a boulder or is it better to burn himself on the spot, Toph suddenly and sharply flies up on a block of earth and kisses him fiercely.

She never says yes. Everything is clear between them.

Toph never comes home again.

She moves from the guest rooms, which over all these years of her frequent visits have practically become her second home, where everything is covered with earth, into the chambers of the Firelord.

Nobody knows except Iroh.

They hide their relationship very carefully from their friends, so when Katara Aang and Sokka come to visit, they don't suspect anything.

Suki guesses.

Another year goes by like this.

And suddenly everyone receives letters inviting them to a wedding.

Zuko and Toph have two weddings.

Firelord’s wedding is a rare thing. Before almost every Firelord ascended the throne having been married already, and for a monarch wedding there was a special very long and solemn ritual. So one of them takes a whole day full of all kinds of ceremonies, worship and libations to spirits and ancestors, swearing oaths and other nonsense, so after 13 hours Zuko just wants to die, and Toph wants to kill someone.

And the second wedding is when Toph, Zuko and 10 very close friends go far outside the city one early morning. It is a quiet improvised wedding that is held by Avatar himself. There is traditional Fire nation and Earth Kingdom treats. In the evening everyone gather around the campfire. Iroh sings an old wedding song for a just married couple which no one of the rest of the company including Zuko has ever heard before. And finally late in the night when everyone is sleeping in their tents Toph and Zuko changed clothes and go far in the fields.

_____________

#zuko #toph #zutoph #toko #avatar the last airbender #atla #wedding #my headcanons #otp ship #my ask #thank you!#we need to talk about toko

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unluckyhoneybee · 2 years

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okay i have a fic idea

daniel falls in love with reader who works as an interviewer in f1, she always asks the right questions and never oversteps boundaries, he always looks forward to seeing her after even the worst of races, slowly they show affection towards eachother sending gifts, seeing eachother more often before the interview starts, holding hands and simply being attached to the hip, everyone thinks they’re in a relationship at that point and they don’t even realize how hard they’ve fallen for eachother that they think it’s normal. And lets say reader goes up to daniel after a good race, kisses him out of nowhere and both end up being stunned

hope this made sense😭🫶🏻

Note: it took me ages to get the inspo for this.

Daniel has a soft spot from minute one.

You appeared on the paddock just when everything about his seat and Piastri exploded. He was expecting you to ask about it just like others had done. Instead, you asked about different things, about racing and the weekend.

He starts to ask his PR assistant about your interviews and you start trying to put him on your list. You two feel comfortable around each other. He always has a casual flirting demeanour when he is around you, but he is soft and cute and you start blushing when he smiles at you.

One day he arrives with a coffee and a croissant for you and it becomes a habit. You start meeting in the paddock for breakfast, and you start arriving together and casually talking. He starts paying visits when he is in your city and you are even invited when he has some gatherings with friends. Then the dates with only you two become a thing. Weekly and with some kind of pact, if you are in the same country, you have to meet for dinner.

Daniel doesn't mind having to drive for a couple of hours.

When everyone else decides that you two are secretly dating and that they adore the couple you make, comes right after you post a picture of you both having pizzas and watching a film at your home, your pet (if you have one) resting on his lap.

"Your girlfriend is there" Lando tells him.

"She is not my..." "How did you know I was talking about her then? You haven't even checked who it was"

Daniel blushes so hard and Lando laughs.

"She is not" "Then you hold hands, have dates, sleep together, or are cling to each other at any given moment just as friends"

Daniel just nods. That's how your friendship is. You two are close. It's normal. You say hi in your usual sweet voice and Daniel's heart speeds up. Then you kiss his cheek and he blushes. You give Lando a quick hug and fix his hair. Daniel loves you even more. He thinks you are the best. His best friend.

You are shaking after Abu Dhabi. He has done so well but it's the last for a while and you are feeling so many things. You sneak to his motor home as soon as you can. You still have work to do but ten minutes won't hurt anyone.

You find him with his family and friends. He has already changed into his clothes.

"Dan!"

He walks to you to have some privacy. You know his family well and they adore you because their Danny adores you and they see how in love he is. He knows you won't have any problem staying around them, but he is feeling too many things and wants a quiet moment with you because you always help him calm down and put some order on his feelings.

You hug him so close and hide on his neck. Daniel can feel your breath and the tip of your nose on his skin. He is feeling uneasy and is unable to move his hands from your waist. "I'm super proud of you" You tell him and then pull back.

You don't know what gets into you. It's probably his glassy eyes and his pink cheeks, or his finger drawing circles on your skin. But you lean and trap his lips in a really sweet but equally deep kiss. He kisses back and he loves every second of it.

When you pull back, you are both too stunned to speak. Your hands are on his neck and he is keeping you impossibly close by your waist. You both are breathing hard, minds working fast and hearts beating crazily.

It's you who speaks first.

"I suppose they were all right" He smiles. "With what?" He knows, he just wants to hear you.

"We are in love"

Daniel kisses you again and you feel the happiest woman alive.

#daniel ricciardo #dr #blurb #fluff #f1

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glamoureddreamer · 2 years

Text

Owner

Spooky month (Bob x Reader)

Warnings: smut, possessiveness, claiming, biting/blood/pain kink, fingering, (please let me know if I’ve missed anything)

Thank you everyone! I hope you all have a fantastic day and a great night!

Bob smiles as he hovers over his sleeping girlfriend, he had just escaped the run-in with the cops. After his run-in with the police he has had to lay low, tonight was one of the lucky nights where Bob could visit her. Thankfully (Y/n) had left her window open for him.

“Darlin’~” He whispers, and she stirs.

“Hmmm?” She sits up and groggily rubs her eyes.

“Bob?” She asks.

“Hey, darlin’.” He purred she jumps up and hugs him, she wraps her arms around his neck.

“I missed you.” She smiles, and Bob lets out a chuckle. He grinds his cock against her pelvis.

“I missed you too darlin’~” Bob pulls her into a passionate kiss. Bob slides his hands down her pajama pants, he grabs onto her hips. He digs his nails into her, and (Y/n) whimpers into the kiss. Bob smiles into the heated kiss as he felt the hot liquid leak out of the cuts. Bob sticks his tongue in and immediately goes to explore the back of her throat. (Y/n) whines trying to suppress her gag reflex. Bob keeps one hand digging into his flesh while the other explores into her underwear. He rubs her clit, and (Y/n) moans. Bob pulls away from the kiss and moves his mouth over her neck. Bob bites down on her sweet spot at the same time as he shoves two of his fingers into her pussy. (Y/n) moans loudly. Bob sucks the blood out of her wound smiling as he thrusts his fingers in and out of her.

“B-Bob!” He moves his mouth higher on her neck and bites down again. She yelps in response.

“B-Bob I-ah! I’m c-close!” She whimpers. Bob rubs her clit with his thumb as he continues to thrust his fingers inside of her, and her breath picks up.

“Come on darling~ Cum once for me~” He purrs against her neck, and she cries out cumming around his fingers. He grins and pulls his fingers out of her, he picks her up. Bob tosses (Y/n) on her bed and ripped her pajama pants and underwear off, she frowns.

“I liked that pair of underwear.”

Bob ignores her and tosses the ripped clothes away. He frees his hard cock from his pants. He grabs her hands and pins them above her head with one hand, with the other he grabs her legs and hoists them up over his shoulders. He leans down grinning in her face, their chests pressed together, (Y/n) whimpers feeling his breath against her face. He lines his cock up with her entrance and slams his cock inside of her. Bob slams his cock into her not bothering to start at a slow or gentle pace, she couldn’t do much more than cry and moan in this position.

“Your mine darling~” He growls against the skin on her neck. Bob starts to thrust at a quicker pace, he emits a low growl.

“No one else can have you~” He bites at her neck flesh, she tasted so good. (Y/n) moans with each hard thrust, drool leaks from her mouth. (Y/n) whimpers feeling a familiar feeling building in her gut, She whimpers trying to cling to Bob.

“I own you~” Bob growls, (Y/n) screams cumming hard around Bob’s cock. Bob grins down at her and keeps thrusting chasing after his own orgasm. (Y/n) whimpers as he slams his cock deep inside of her and cums with a loud groan. He thrusts unevenly dragging out his orgasm. He sighs and pulls out of her with a tired grin. He takes (Y/n)’s off his shoulders and plops down next to her

“I missed this darlin’” (Y/n) snuggles up to him tiredly.

“Me too, do you think you can stay the night?” (Y/n) asks with a yawn.

“Sure darlin’, anything for you.” Bob kisses her cheek.

#spooky month bob #spooky month #spooky month tender treats #sr pelo spooky month #sr pelo #tender treats #spooky month bob velseb #spooky month Bob x reader

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secretswiftymarvelfan · 2 years

Text

The Demigod From Asgard - Steve Rogers x Reader (Part 77)

Summary: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Despression and Acceptance. The 5 stages everyone goes through when losing someone they love.

Word Count: 10k

Warnings: Heavy Angst! Grief! Suicidal Thought! Alcholism! Language! Tiny bit of fluff!

Dividers by @firefly-graphics

Series Masterlist / Masterlist

Chapter 77: The Five Stages To Moving On

The days following the teams visit to Thanos’ farm were a blur. Steve couldn’t say what happened if he tried. He just didn’t remember.

When he woke up one morning he could hear JJ awake in his crib on the other side of the room. He was babbling but Steve could tell he was getting frustrated and he wanted to get out. He also knew that if he was determined enough he probably could climb out himself.

Pushing the covers off him Steve got up stretching out his back before sighing deeply as his shoulders slumps. As he looked over at JJ he could see his smile growing once he saw his dad.

“Dada!” JJ squeals holding his arms out and making a grabbing motion.

“I’m coming, I’m coming” Steve sighs walking over and lifting JJ out of his crib.

Resting JJ on his hip, he brushed his short blond messy hair down with his hand. JJ looked around the room as he sucked on his thumb.

“Dat?” JJ asks pointing over to the dresser.

Steve looks over where JJ was pointing, his breath catching when he sees the two stuffed teddys. He walks over picking up the teddy that had his suit and shield.

“This is dada” Steve says showing it to JJ.

“Dada” JJ says patting the teddy on its head.

“And this one is-“ Steve starts his voice dying in his throat as he tried to finish his sentence, picking up your teddy.

“Mama” JJ says reaching for it.

“Yeah its mama” Steve says choking on his words slightly.

JJ grabs your teddy hugging it closely, Steve had to bite on his lower lips to stop himself from crying. Tears blurring his vision slightly. JJ smiles up at him making steve give him a weak smile.

“Okay you stay with mama while I got have a shower, I’ll be right back, scream if you need me okay?” Steve says as he puts JJ in his playpen.

JJ nods as if he actually understood what Steve was saying. A small chuckle escapes his lips as he looks down at his son.

“Clever boy” Steve smiles bending down kiss the top of his head.

Once Steve was showered and dressed he took JJ to the communal kitchen for breakfast. JJ was determined to keep your teddy with him, so much so Steve had to put his diplomatic skills to use to avoid and meltdown and get him to put down his teddy and eat.

Steve set the teddy down on the table so JJ could still see it, but it was out of reach to avoid getting messy. There was no one else in the kitchen, everyone had pretty much gone their separate ways already. Carol had gone to go help other planets along with Rocket and Nebula. Rhodey had left to go help Pepper with Tony, and Thor had left to go see if he could find the remaining Asgardians. Leaving just Steve, Nat and Bruce at the compound.

Once JJ had finished eating he reached for the teddy again, whining in annoyance that he couldn’t reach it. He complained even more when Steve wiped his face and the tray in front of him. Nearly at full breakdown when Steve finally passed him the teddy, the meltdown completely avoided. Leaving Steve to finish his toast and coffee in peace.

“Morning” Nat greets as she walks in.

“Morning” Steve sighs glancing up at her.

He went to ask her how she slept but he already knew the answer. None of them were sleeping well, a full undisturbed night’s sleep seemed like a distant memory to Steve now.

“Did you give him that?” Nat asks gesturing to the teddy.

“Hm? Oh no he spotted it and demanded it, can’t get him to leave it” Steve sighed watching as JJ played with the teddy.

“That’s sweet, it probably helps him having something of hers” Nat comments as she makes herself a cup of coffee.

Steve instantly felt aggravated at the comment “it’s not the real thing though” he snaps pushing himself up from the table, lifting JJ from his chair and storming out.

When he got back to his room he placed JJ down in his play pen before beginning to pace the room. He rubbed his chin as he tried to get his emotions in check. Eventually sitting down at the foot of the bed, resting his elbows on his knees as he drops his head into his hands. Taking a couple deep shuddering breaths as he runs his hands into his hair.

When he glances back up he spots JJ smiling as he played with your teddy. Steve’s heart clenches when he sees how blissfully happy he was, and how unfair it was. Unfair that he had to grow up without you, without a mother. Steve knew what it was like to grow up without a parent, he didn’t want that life for his son.

There must be something he could do, something, anything. If he looked hard enough he could find an answer, he’s found answers in the past, he’s done the impossible he could do it again.

Standing up he sets to work, grabbing a bag a packing everything he and JJ would need so they wouldn’t be interrupted. He lifted JJ out of the playpen setting him down on the bed so he could collapse the playpen. Once he was ready he picked up JJ, the bag and the playpen and left his room.

Walking through the halls of the compound he was grateful that the entire campus was deserted because it meant no one saw where he was going. Eventually he found the room he was after, it was a lab that was barely used.

He set up the playpen putting JJ down with the teddy and enough toys to keep him occupied. He put his bag down on the side before sitting down at the computer and turning it on.

“Friday? If anyone asks where I am, tell them I took JJ out of the park” Steve tells the AI.

“Of course sir” Friday responds.

Steve sighs glancing over his shoulder at JJ before setting to work. Researching into anything he could find about the infinity stones, trying to see if there was a way to remake them, if there was more, if there was something out there strong enough to reverse them.

Steve worked for hours, skipping dinner he’d brought something for JJ to eat and he didn’t want to anyway. Once it was time for JJ to go to sleep Steve put him to bed grabbing the baby monitor before returning to his work. Working late into the night.

Steve managed to go a whole week spending every waking hour researching the stones until he was discovered.

“What are you doing in here?” Nat asks walking into the lab.

“Nothing, how did you find me?” Steve asks turning so could use his body to hide the screen.

“Friday told me you were in your room which wasn’t true so I got her to tell me truth” Nat explains hands on her hips.

“Traitor” Steve mutters under his breath.

Nat looks over his shoulder spotting what he was looking at before sighing in disappointment.

“Steve that’s not gonna be helping you right now” she tells him gently.

“I have to Nat, I need to find something to reverse what happened” Steve sighs shaking his head.

“Steve we can’t-“ Nat sighs before Steve interrupts.

“No Nat this can’t be it! We can’t have lost! We don’t lose! They can’t be gone for forever, she can’t be gone” Steve argues having to take a deep shaky breath to calm himself and hold back the tears.

“Steve-“ Nat says gently taking a couple of steps towards him.

“Leave it Natasha” Steve snaps glaring up at her.

“Fine, you know where I am when you need me” Nat sighs holding her hands up and walking out of the labs.

Steve sighs running his hand over his face before turning back to the computer and continuing with his work.

He continued on for another couple days before Nat started interfering. First she set a timer on the computer in the lab so it would turn off after 6pm. Then she would tell Friday to block anything about the Infinity stones on the tablet he used. Then she locked the lab, when Steve tried other labs he found information on the stones blocked on them too.

“Romanoff!” Steve yells storming into the common room where she was looking over a hologram.

She sighs when she sees him, crossing her arms over her chest as she waited for what he had to say.

“How dare you lock my access! I’m trying to fix this, get them back and you’re stopping me!” Steve growls pointing at her accusingly.

“Because we can’t Steve! We can’t bring them back! I know how desperate you are and I’m sorry! But there’s people who are still around that need our help!” Nat snaps pointing at the hologram.

“This can’t be the end” Steve states his voice breaking.

“It is, I’m sorry Steve I really am, if I could do something to bring them back I would but I can’t, because there’s nothing I can do, all I can do is help those who need it right now” Nat sighs walking over and putting a cautious hand on his shoulder.

“JJ needs you right now, you need to be here for him, not being left in his play pen all day while you work” She continues, Steve dropping his head in shame.

When he glances back up he looks around the room, his breath catching when he sees you stood in the corner. He gulped as he watched you look back at him sadly, arms crossed over your chest.

“She’s right Steve” you’d tell him softly.

He has to look away, taking a shuddering breath as he screws his eyes shut. When he opens them again he looks over to where you were stood, seeing just an empty space.

“I’m sorry Nat, I just can’t believe she’s gone” Steve apologises looking back at Nat.

“Its okay, I’m having a hard time with it to, we’re not used to- to not winning, but we need to focus our attention on those we can help, because there’s so many that do” Nat sighs shaking her head.

“Thanks Nat” Steve sighs giving her a weak smile.

“It’s nothing, I’m sure giving you a kick up the ass is part of the god mother duties” Nat says with a weak chuckle, sniffling slightly.

“He’s very lucky to have you” Steve sniffles.

“I’m here for you too” Nat reminds him.

“Thanks Nat” Steve smiles hugging her.

As he looks over her shoulder he spots you again but this time you were smiling and giving him a thumbs up.

Steve was sat outside with JJ watching as he played with the grass and the toys. Steve occasionally stepping in to stop JJ from eating dirt.

Playtime was disrupted when the jet flew overhead landing a short distance from them. Steve looked over to see the door open and Nat walk out. Even from this distance Steve could tell something was wrong. When she glanced over Steve gave her a small wave gesturing for her to come over.

As she sat down on the floor JJ let out an excited squeal holding his arms out to her. She gave him a small smile lifting him onto her lap.

“How did it go?” Steve asks.

“Laura and the kids are definitely gone” Nat sighs looking down at JJ holding one of his toys in front of him.

“I’m sorry, what about Clint? Was he there?” Steve asks carefully.

“I don’t know, he wasn’t there but something was off, I think he might have survived” she says taking a shaky breath as she looks over at him.

“Really?” Steve asks furrowing his brows.

“Yeah, his ankle bracelet was broken in the barn, some of his weapons were gone” Nat explains shaking her head.

“It doesn’t make sense, if he was around why isn’t he here” Steve points out with a sigh.

“He’s alive Steve” Nat states.

“We don’t know that, he might have gone and someone else stole his gear” Steve reasons.

“He’s alive Steve I know it” she snaps quickly passing JJ over to him before storming off inside.

JJ whines in confusion as he watches her go, Steve moving him so he was sat in his knee, rubbing his back soothingly.

“Its okay bean, she just needs some space” Steve sighs.

He knew what he said really didn’t help and that he should apologise for not being supportive enough. But for whatever reason he just couldn’t bring himself to believe Clint was still around. It just didn’t make sense and he didn’t know why.

Throughout the day Steve continued to think about the whole Clint situation. Nat was most likely right about him still being alive, no one knew about the farm house so who would rob it. Plus what robber would only take a few weapons. Clint was still alive and the more Steve thought about it the more angry he got.

Needing to feel some form of release, once he’s put JJ to bed he made his way down to the gym. Already knowing it was going to be one of those nights he lined up spare punchbags ready to replace the one he inevitably broke.

The more he worked out the more the anger simmered inside him, getting worse and worse with every punchbag he destroyed. He growled in frustration landing one last big punch to the bag and sending it flying across the room.

“Wow I don’t think even the hulk could do that” Steve heard Bruce say behind him.

Steve looked over his shoulder at the man, Bruce visibly recoiling when he saw the fury in Steve’s eyes.

“You okay?” Bruce asks cautiously.

“No” Steve states grabbing another punching bag and hanging it up.

“Is it about the whole Clint thing?” Bruce asks as Steve starts punching the bag again.

“Nat told you about that?” Steve says, more as a statement than a question.

“Yeah, she um said you told her Clint couldn’t be alive” Bruce tells him making him scoff.

“No I said that he might not be, I didn’t want her to get her hopes up” Steve states punching the bag a little harder.

“Why? Why do you think that?” Bruce presses.

“Because it doesn’t make sense!” Steve snaps, catching the bag and whipping round to face Bruce who takes a nervous step back.

“If he’s alive why isn’t he here! Why isn’t he trying to help! It’s not fair!“ Steve rants clenching his fists.

“What isn’t fair?” Bruce asks confused.

“We’re all here, all of us are still alive and she isn’t! Why! Why take just her!” Steve yells his anger getting the better of him.

Bruce sighs in realisation, remaining silent while Steve said his piece. Said what he needed to say to get it off his chest.

“It’s doesn’t make sense, I thought that if Clint didn’t make it then it was just a random chance whether you stayed or not, but out of all of us, the original group she’s the only one not around anymore! That can’t be chance! Why did he pick her!” Steve rants before letting out a shuddering sigh as sorrow replaced his anger.

“Why her?” He mutters dropping his head screwing his eyes shut to try and stop himself from crying, ultimately failing.

He pinched the bridge of his nose, body shaking as he silently wept. Exhaustion taking over his body.

“I don’t know Steve, I wish I had the answers, to make this easier for you, but I don’t and I’m sorry” Bruce sighs as he steps closer.

“It was probably just chance and we just happened to be the lucky ones, or Thanos knew how strong and powerful she was, that she could be the one to stop him so had to take her out, or she used that power to sacrifice herself for JJ, or there’s an all powerful, all seeing creature who made that decision, we don’t know and we could spend hours wondering what if…” Bruce sighs getting Steve to look over at him.

“I just wish it had been someone else, I know that’s selfish and I shouldn’t think that but-“ Steve sighs shaking his head.

“It’s okay, you aren’t alone, there’s millions of people out there that are thinking the same thing, it’s a part of grief” Bruce tells him.

“Thanks Bruce, and I’m sorry for snapping” Steve apologises.

“It’s fine, just go say sorry to Nat before shoots too many holes in the wall” Bruce says making Steve chuckle gently.

“I will thank you” Steve promises.

Steve found Nat at the shooting range, he leant against the doorframe watching her. With every bullet she walked closer to the target, when she ran out of bullets she growled in frustration before throwing the actual gun at the target.

“That’s not a good battlefield tactic” Steve quips hoping to break the tension.

“You’re lucky I love JJ too much to kill you, that and I’m out of bullets” Nat sighs grabbing the gun from the floor before turning to face him.

“I’m sorry, I should have been more supportive, happy the Clint was still alive, not dismissing it” Steve apologises taking a couple steps closer.

Nat doesn’t respond just crosses her arms over her chest.

“I was just angry that we’re all here and she’s not, I couldn’t understand it and my anger got the better of me, I’ve probably broken my record of destroyed punching bags” Steve continues earning a small smirk from Nat.

“You have destroyed a lot” she comments.

“I’m sorry too, you raised valid points, if he is then why isn’t he here? I was just desperate for him to still be around, especially since I found out earlier this week my sister didn’t make it” Nat admits with a sigh.

“You had a sister?” Steve asks surprised.

“Y/N didn’t tell you?” Nat frowns and Steve shakes his head confused.

“Um before I met you in Stoos, I reunited with my family from the red room, we weren’t biologically related but when I was a kid we all were a fake family for a mission in Ohio, except it was real to me” Nat explains her voice shaking slightly.

“They all helped me take down the red room finally, I managed to keep in contact with my sister Yelena but I found out she didn’t survive the snap, none of them did” Nat sighs shaking her head.

“Nat I’m sorry I had no clue” Steve says shaking his head walking over and hugging her.

“It’s okay, you didn’t know” Nat sighs.

“And hey, if it helps I've always thought of you as my meddlesome little sister” Steve says making Nat snort.

“And you’re like my annoying ass big brother,” Nat says making Steve chuckle.

“We good?” Steve asks

“Yeah, we’re good” Nat smiles.

Steve was standing in the kitchen with the others watching as JJ squealed and babbled with excitement as Nat gave him his breakfast. JJ’s happiness and unfiltered joy were the only light within the compound, the only thing that made everyone crack a genuine smile.

Steve blinked and suddenly he could see you also sat at the table. Your hands wrapped around a mug of coffee. Smiling warmly over at JJ before glancing over at Steve.

He tried his hardest not to blink, staring at space where he could see you. Not wanting you to disappear like you always did.

“Hey guys, I’ve got some news for you” Rhodey sighs grabbing everyone’s attention.

Steve blinked a couple times, sighing when he looked back to where you were sat to see an empty chair.

“Good or bad?” Nat asks him.

“Not great” Rhodey sighs shaking his head.

“Is it Tony?” Steve asks turning to face Rhodey.

“No he’s good, recovering well,” Rhodey says shaking his head.

“You two are getting court-martialed” Rhodey sighs nodding to Steve and Nat.

“Because of the accords?” Nat asks shifting in her seat.

“Yeah, I tried to put it off and stop it, but I couldn’t I’m sorry, a lawyer has already been arranged for you” Rhodey explains.

“What are our chances?” Steve asks crossing his arms over his chest.

“I can’t say for certain but better than before, I know T’Challa had been campaigning to scrap them, got fairly close from what I heard but Ross had too much sway” Rhodey explains.

“You might be able to get deals like house arrest or permanent retirement or something” Rhodey adds glancing over at JJ.

“Thanks for letting us know, when do we meet the lawyer?” Steve asks with a deep sigh.

“He’s swinging by this afternoon” Rhodey sighs pausing by the door before heading out.

“Well, we’re fu- screwed” Nat sighed stopping herself from swearing when Steve gave her a look of warning.

“We don’t know that,” Steve tells her.

“They’ll probably be lenient you guys did try and stop Thanos that must count for something” Bruce points out.

“We haven’t even been able to hire our own lawyer! They’ve probably hired some deadbeat who’s never won a case” Nat complains.

“Let’s just see what happens when they get here, we can always petition for a different lawyer” Steve reasons but Nat scoffs shaking her head.

Later on, Friday informed them the lawyer was pulling into the compound. Leaving JJ with Bruce, Steve and Nat made their way outside. They watched as the black Audi pulled up, a tall bearded, dark brown-haired guy climbing out. He grabbed his briefcase before walking over to the pair of them.

“Andy Barber, I already know who you guys are” he introduces himself shaking Steve’s hand.

“Thanks for coming out” Steve thanks him.

“It’s nothing, let’s work on getting you guys off the hook” Andy smiles gesturing for them to head inside.

Sitting down in a conference room, coincidentally the one where they were given the accords, Andy pulled out a legal pad ready to make notes.

“I’m sure you’ve got some questions so shall we get those out of the way first?” Andy says leaning forward against the table.

“What are your credentials?” Nat asks leaning back in her chair arms folded over her chest.

“We’ll I’ve worked in prosecuting since I started, moved through the ranks up to the assistant district attorney in Newton Massachusetts” Andy explains, Steve frowning in confusion.

“Prosecution? I thought you were defending us?” Steve questions.

“I am, I swapped to the other side a couple of years back” Andy explains.

“Why?” Nat asks.

“I got experience of being on the receiving end, which made me want to swap sides and help those who are wrongly accused, but my experience in prosecution makes me one of the best defence lawyers you can find,” Andy says with a small smirk.

“Well we’re gonna need a pretty dammed good one,” Steve says with an amused huff.

“I wouldn’t be so pessimistic, I’ve read the case files and the accords and the case against you is pretty weak,” Andy tells them shaking his head.

“It is?” Nat asks surprised.

“Well the begin with the accords was a violation of your human rights, it was sugar-coated with a lot of political bullshit but it turned you into weapons, I get what they were trying to do but it was the wrong way to go about it” Andy explains pointing down at the table.

“Also it left the world pretty much undefended, you guys tried your hardest though and that will help your case, plus a lot of countries were already thinking of pulling out, thanks to the king of Wakanda and his negotiating skills” Andy continues.

“But to solidify the case, your testimonies of what happened during the events of the accords and the two years following will really help” he finishes grabbing his pen ready to make notes.

Steve and Nat recount everything they could. Neither of them left out a single detail. Andy made his notes, occasionally asking questions and getting them to elaborate. The only thing Steve held back was your treatment in the raft. Unsure whether it was a good idea or not, it was only him that knew every detail and he didn’t know if you’d be okay with a courtroom knowing.

“Well I think I have everything I need for now, I’ll be back in a couple of days to go over the testimonies,” Andy says packing up his things.

“Great thank you for your help I have to say we weren’t expecting someone hired by Ross to be so competent” Steve admits shaking Andy’s hand.

“Oh, Secretary Ross was one of the ones who didn’t make it” Andy explains.

“That helps our case” Nat smirks.

“And it was Tony Stark who hired me” Andy finishes, Steve and Nat sharing a surprised look.

“Are you sure it wasn’t Pepper Potts?” Steve asks.

“No it was definitely Mr Stark, he called me himself,” Andy tells them.

“Hm, let me walk you out” Steve offers.

As they walked through the compound Steve thought more and more about whether to tell him about the raft. It would help their case.

“Can I ask you something off the record?” Steve asks once they stepped outside.

“You’re not on trial yet Mr Rogers” Andy reminds him.

“Call me Steve please, and um I have something else to tell you about the accords, but it’s sensitive,” Steve says wringing his hands together.

“You have my confidence Steve, we don’t have to tell the courts every detail,” Andy tells him.

“Um good, well when the others were in the raft, they wanted information on my whereabouts so they targeted Y/N, my wife, they tortured her, used a shock collar…. Groped her” Steve says shaking his head and moving foot to foot as his emotions simmered.

“I understand, you don’t need to explain anymore, I can with your permission use their treatment of her to help with your case, but nobody has to know about the details, I won’t say anything about the inappropriate touching” Andy explains putting a hand on Steve’s shoulder.

“Thank you,” Steve says clearing his throat.

“It’s nothing, and my condolences,” Andy says a sad look in his eyes.

“Thanks, I know we aren’t exactly everyone’s favourite people right now so thank you for helping us,” Steve says shrugging his shoulders slightly.

“I didn’t have anyone left to lose so my life hasn’t really changed” Andy admits looking down at the floor.

“I’m sorry” Steve sighs.

“It's okay, life goes on, you find new things to focus on, like work, friends or a kid,” Andy says referring to JJ making Steve chuckle gently.

“He is definitely my priority” Steve nods.

“Good, treasure it, they don’t stay young forever,” Andy says before getting into his car.

A couple of weeks later Steve and Nat were stepping out onto the streets of New York free men. It was a surprisingly easy case thanks to Andy’s courtroom skills. They didn’t have to retire either, they could remain in active duty if they wanted.

“Congratulations guys, enjoy your freedom, just avoid breaking the law in the future” Andy smiles shaking their hands.

“Thank you Andy” Nat smiles.

“It’s nothing, happy to help” Andy nods.

“Ready to head back to the compound?” Nat asks looking up at Steve.

“Um no, I think I might have a walk around the park first, get some air” Steve sighs clearing his throat quietly.

“Sure, I’ll see you back at the compound and I’ll watch JJ, give Banner a break” Nat nods making Steve chuckle quietly.

“Thanks Nat” Steve says with a small smile before watching her walk back to the car.

“You okay Steve?” Andy asks.

“Yeah… just that was a lot… brought up some stuff…” Steve mutters shaking his head as he looked down at the floor.

Steve hadn’t been looking forward to today at all. But the part he hated the most was when your torture was brought up. While the most sensitive parts were left out, hearing it again just reminded Steve how much of a failure he was. He failed to protect you against the guard, failed to protect you against Thanos.

“I understand, it’s never easy hearing that sort of stuff no matter how many times you’ve already heard it,” Andy says putting a hand on Steve’s shoulders.

“But look if you ever need a completely impartial ear to talk to, here’s my number and just give me a call” Andy offers passing Steve his card.

“Thanks Andy,” Steve says as he looks down at the business card.

“And I know it doesn’t seem like it right now, but it does get easier I promise, lean on others around you and don’t isolate yourself like I did,” Andy tells him.

Steve just nods unable to bring himself to say anything. He knew his voice would fail if he tried.

“I’ll see you around,” Andy says before heading back to his car.

Steve took a deep breath to calm himself before heading off towards the park. As he walked he kept his head down trying not to draw attention to himself. As he walked the noise in his head grew louder and louder, reminding him how much of a failure he was and will continue to be.

As he turned down on street he saw a street performer standing on the corner. Steve paused for a moment watching as he performed tricks to try and impress the crowd. It was all simple tricks it wasn’t real, but it made Steve wonder what he’d do if he had real magic.

He then remembered the wizard Bruce had mentioned, Dr Strange and Wong. He knew that Dr Strange wasn’t around anymore but Wong was. Without a second thought Steve hailed a cab and told the driver to take him to Bleecker Street.

As he pulled up outside he looked around at the damage still visible from the fight here. He stood on the doorstep of the sanctum watching as crews worked to repair the damage. One of the workers looked over spotted Steve, a harsh frown forming on his face.

“Hey!” The man shouted.

Steve blinked a couple of times before quickly turning and heading inside the sanctum. As he slams the door shut he hears the man shout “coward!”

“Captain Rogers?” Steve hears someone say behind him.

Looking over his shoulder he sees Wong standing at the top of the large staircase which had a massive hole in it.

“Yes, it's Wong isn’t it?” Steve asks taking a couple of steps forward.

“Yes, can I help you?” Wong says walking down the stairs, using magic to bridge the gap.

“Um yeah, at least I hope so” Steve nods rubbing the back of his neck nervously.

“What do you need?” Wong asks his brows furrowing.

“A spell, or whatever it is you guys do, my wife was killed in the snap and I need to-“ Steve starts before getting interrupted by Wong holding up his hand.

“I know what you want” Wong sighs lowering his hand.

“Great, so can- can you do it?” Steve asks hopefully.

“No, such a spell if it were to exist would require a trade, a permanent one,” Wong says shaking his head.

“So? There’s countless of people out there, murderers, criminals that shouldn’t be allowed to live instead of her! Take one of them” Steve argues throwing his arm out.

“Captain-“ Wong starts but Steve talks over him.

“Take me! I don’t deserve to be here! I failed her! Failed everyone! I can’t give JJ needs, I’ll fail him like I already did when he was younger” Steve continues pulling his arm back, hand gesturing to his chest.

“He needs his mother, not me” Steve states.

Silence falls in the room, Steve biting his lip as he looks down at the floor. His vision was blurry when looked back over at Wong.

“Please” Steve whispered his voice breaking.

“As far as I’m aware no such spell exists” Wong starts making Steve’s shoulders drop with disappointment

“but I’ll research into it to be sure, why don’t you sit down and have some tea while you wait” Wong suggests making a portal to another room open, a pot of tea waiting on the other side.

“Thank you Wong” Steve sighs stepping through the portal.

The portal around him closes once he stepped foot in the room. It was a simple and small room, with only a couple of chairs and a table. What stood out the most was the lack of windows and doors.

Steve wasn’t sure how long he’d been waiting when he heard the sound of a portal opening behind him. He turns hopefully but instead of seeing Wong, he sees a very angry and upset Nat.

Before he has a chance to say anything Nat storms over and slaps his hard across the face.

“Don’t you dare think about leaving us! Not even for a fucking second” she snaps, her chest heaving as she pointed harshly at his chest.

“I’m trying to bring her back!” Steve argues rubbing his cheek.

“By offering yourself in return! How could you! Did you even think about JJ in all of this!“ Nat shouts shaking her head.

“I was only thinking of him! I can’t raise him Nat, not on my own! Fuck I spent so much of his first year of life going on missions because I knew I would fail!” Steve snaps turning his back on her and beginning to pace.

“And she reminded you that it wasn’t the case at all! God Steve how do you think she’d feel if the spell worked! Do you really want to put her through the pain you’re feeling now? You are the only man she’s ever loved and you would be willing to take that from her!” Nat argues moving around him and stopping him from pacing.

“Nat-“ Steve starts going to argue back.

“No! You think about that, actually think about it and picture what it would be like for her, in excruciating detail because none of this right now is your fault, but if you went through with it that pain she’d be feeling would be your fault” Nat states glaring up at him.

Steve gulps slightly before looking down at the floor as he thought about what Nat said. The last few months had been the hardest he’s ever had to go through. They made waking up from the ice seems like a breeze. If it wasn’t for JJ he wasn’t sure if he would have survived it. Putting you in that position was a thought he couldn’t bare thinking about.

“We don’t trade lives Steve, even if we desperately wish we could” Nat sighed as Steve sat down, his legs close to giving out.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t thinking straight” Steve whispered his voice shaking.

“It’s okay, I’m sorry I slapped you” Nat apologises wrapping her arm around his shoulders.

“No it's okay I deserved it, Y/N would have frozen me if she was here” Steve sighs looking up at her.

“Yeah, she would have,” Nat says with a half-hearted chuckle.

“Have you thought about talking to someone Steve? A therapist or something, help you work through all this?” Nat asks after a moment.

“No, but I’ll be fine, there are people out there who need it more,” Steve says shaking his head.

“Well just consider it okay?” Nat tells him.

“Okay,” Steve agrees.

When Steve woke he felt like there was a massive weight on his chest. The same weight that had been present for a few weeks now. Steve was used to it now. He sighed rolling over, pulling the covers up further wanting to fall back asleep. Groaning when he heard JJ was awake.

He rubbed his eyes tiredly as he sat up, sitting on the edge of the bed, shoulders slumped as he willed himself to face the day. He went about his normal routine, getting himself and JJ ready.

“You looked exhausted Steve” Nat sighs as he sat giving JJ his breakfast.

“I’m fine” Steve mutters shaking his head tiredly.

“You should rest, and have some time to yourself I can watch JJ for however long you need,” Nat tells him squeezing his shoulder.

“Thanks Nat anything you might need is in my room just come grab it,” Steve says forcing a small smile.

“Go on, off you go, enjoy your free time” Nat smile patting Steve’s shoulder as he stood, taking his place.

Once Steve was alone he tried to work out what he wanted to do. His mind drew a blank, nothing seeming appealing other than collapsing in bed. But he felt like he should do something, make good use of his time.

He went to grab his trainers thinking maybe a run would help but he couldn’t bring himself to. Instead, he sat down on the bed leaning against the headboard and grabbed his sketchbook. He flipped through to an empty page, tapping his pencil against it waiting for inspiration to strike.

It didn’t. He couldn’t even bring himself to sketch the chair in the corner.

Setting the sketchbook on the side with a big huff he stood up from the bed. He began to pace the room scratching the back of his neck, stretching out his back as a feeling of restlessness came over him. Yet he had no desire to do anything.

In the end, he started tidying. It wasn’t messy by any means but Steve had been putting off putting stuff away, leaving things in organised piles. One of the worst places was the closet so Steve tackled that first.

He was sitting on the floor sorting through some items when he found a brown paper bag hidden under a couple of boxes. Frowning he grabbed it, tipping out the contents, his breath catching when he saw what it was.

“I was making a scrapbook of sorts, filled with stuff from our time together, our first year married” you had told him.

His fingers shake as he opens up the scrapbook, finding a picture of you and Steve from the early days laughing. He sniffles back the tears as he flips through finding photos, ticket stubs and little mementoes.

He breaks down when he reaches the pages filled with photos from your wedding. Everyone looked so happy, and you looked so beautiful. His favourite photo is one from the reception. You were sat sideways across his lap, cupping his cheek as you smiled at him resting your forehead against his.

Steve had to close the book when he felt the heavy sensation on his chest that had become far too familiar. He pushes himself to his feet holding himself steady as he stumbles through the room before sitting down on the bed. He pinches the bridge of his nose as he tried to calm himself but it was no use.

From that day on his nightmares got worse and the dark grey feeling grew larger and larger. He relied on Nat and Bruce more as he had less energy to look after JJ. It had gotten to the point more of JJ’s stuff was in Nat’s room than his, and Steve knew he should be feeling guilty but he felt nothing.

One night after a particularly bad nightmare Steve found himself walking through the compound corridor. He was intended on getting a glass of water but he spotted Tony’s bar.

He took a deep breath before moving behind the bar grabbing the nearest bottle of scotch and sitting down at the bar. He pours himself a healthy measure, throwing it back, the hard liquor burning his throat. He knew it wouldn’t help, but the burn did, it made him feel something. So relying on the serum to keep him sober he poured another. And another. And another

He didn’t remember falling asleep but he woke up to the sound of JJ squealing with laughter. Lifting his head from the bar he looked around finding Nat standing a short distance away, JJ on her hip, frown on her face.

“Are you drunk?” She states.

“No, I can’t get drunk” Steve sighs bitterly pushing the now-empty bottle of scotch away.

“Have you been here all night?” She asks him walking closer.

“Not all night no” Steve mutters shaking his head.

“Dada!” JJ shouts reaching out for Steve.

Steve forces a small smile for his son but makes no movement towards him.

“Go get some water and go lie down Steve, I’ve got him” Nat sighs shaking her head.

“Thanks, Nat” Steve sighs pushing himself up from the stool.

As he walks out of the room he heard JJ’s confused and sad calls for him. He pauses for a moment, almost looking over his shoulder before carrying on out of the room.

Each night after he had nightmares Steve would find himself back at the bar. The alcohol did nothing the numb the pain he felt but he felt comfortable in it. However, after a nightmare where he repeatedly watched you disappear in his hands, regular alcohol no longer seemed to work.

As he scoured the bar for something stronger, he found a small flask hidden behind multiple bottles. He pulls it out and flips the cap and takes a sniff, quickly realising it was Asgardian liquor. He grabs his tumbler pouring put a measure of whiskey before adding a couple of drops of the liquor. As he takes a large gulp the liquid burns more and he feels the buzz almost instantly.

To begin with, Steve takes it steady, remembering the warnings you and Thor always gave. He also didn’t want to run out too quickly. But as time passed and he experienced more and more nightmares, the more he added. Until he was drinking it straight, passing out on one of the couches.

He woke the next morning to the world’s worst headache which was made worse by Nat shaking him awake.

“Go away Romanoff” Steve grumbles shielding his eyes.

“Jesus Steve you stink! How much did you drink last night” Nat grimaces, screwing up her nose.

“Not much” Steve lies as his head begins to spin.

“Steve this isn’t good” Nat sighs shaking her head at him.

“I’m fine” Steve groans as he sits up, his head spinning.

Nat said something to him but he didn’t hear her as his stomach flipped and he found the nearest bin to throw up in. Nat curses as she watches him wretch, before spotting the flask on the floor.

“Fuck Steve how much of this did you drink?” She asks holding up the flask.

“I don’t know” Steve admits with a sigh as he slumps down beside the trashcan.

“It’s empty Steve” Nat sighs as she walks over crouching down in front of him.

“Fuck” Steve mutters under his breath running his hand through his hair.

“Steve you have to stop this, this isn’t healthy, you’re not sleeping, you’ve barely seen JJ in weeks,” Nat tells him putting her hand on his knee.

“I know, I’m sorry” Steve sighs sadly.

“I know it’s hard, but drinking it away won’t help, get some rest and tomorrow we’ll start afresh, and spend some time with JJ because that kid is pure sunshine,” Nat says making Steve chuckle weakly.

“He really is” he agrees with a sigh.

“And then you should find some help, a therapist or something to help you through this,” Nat tells him but Steve shakes his head.

“No, no therapist, I’ll do everything else but not that” Steve states.

“Steve-“ Nat says going to argue.

“No, there are millions of people that need that help more than I do, everyone lost someone because we didn’t stop Thanos, the least I can do is let them get the help they need first,” Steve tells her.

“Steve please” Nat sighs.

“No Nat, my mind’s made up” Steve sighs standing up and walking out before Nat could say anything else.

Ever since the morning Nat found Steve passed out and hungover on the couch, he made a conscious choice to focus on JJ. Nat was right he was a literally ray of sunshine in Steve’s life, the only thing keeping Steve from fully breaking down. So much so that he didn’t let his mind stray from JJ.

Steve had just gotten JJ ready for the day and was lying on the bed watching as JJ played with his teddy. JJ proudly held it out to Steve showing it off, giggling when Steve smiled in response. When Steve heard a knock on the door he called out telling whoever it was to come in.

“Hey, how are you?” Nat asks walking on and perching on the side of the bed beside JJ.

“Fine” Steve shrugs glancing up at her.

“I was thinking that since it's a nice day and it's not too cold yet, why don’t we head over to central park, maybe get someone an ice cream” Nat suggest tickling JJ’s stomach and making him squeal and laugh.

“Hmm sounds good, do you want ice cream?” Steve asks looking over at JJ.

“Ya!” JJ exclaims nodding his head excitedly.

“Seems like the decision has been made, give us a few minutes and we’ll be ready,” Steve tells Nat pushing himself up.

“Great I’ll meet you guys by the car” Nat smiles standing up.

JJ continued to play on the bed as Steve packed up everything he thought he needed. It took him much longer than he expected it to. His brain just seemed to be full of fog, at one point he was stood still staring at the floor. Only getting pulled from his stupor when JJ shouted.

“Dada!” JJ screams, Steve’s gaze instantly snapping to his son, spotting that his teddy was on the floor out of JJ’s reach.

Steve sighed running his hand down his face, fingers scratching at the ragged stubble over his cheeks.

“You scared me then JJ” Steve sighed walking over to pick up the teddy.

“Ory” JJ says, making Steve chuckle half-heartedly as he passes JJ back his teddy.

“It’s okay bean, c’mon Auntie Nat is probably waiting” Steve sighed picking JJ up.

He resigns to himself that he must have packed everything important. Grabbing the bag and heading out to meet Nat.

“You two ready to go?” Nat asks once they reached the car.

“Yeah, sorry we took a while,” Steve says holding back a yawn.

“It's fine why don’t you get him strapped in,” Nat says nodding to JJ “and I’ll drive us?"

“Sure, thanks Nat” Steve nods moving to put JJ down in his car seat.

As they drove away from the compound Steve stared out the window. Watching as the world went past, everything seemingly muted. He knew he should be laughing and smiling as JJ babbled along to the music but he couldn’t bring himself to. Continuing to stare out the window, stuck in his head even though there were no thoughts to think about.

He was paying so little attention to his surroundings that he hadn’t noticed Nat going in the wrong direction until the car came to a stop. He frowned as he glanced around trying to work out where they were.

“This isn’t the park,” Steve says looking over at Nat.

“I know I forgot to say I needed to run an errand on the way, come on I’ve got JJ,” Nat says climbing out of the car.

Steve sighed scratching his forehead before climbing out of the car. He stuffed his hands into his jean pockets, eyes on the floor as he followed Nat inside a building.

“Hi there, I’ve got a session booked for Steve Rogers,” Nat says once she reached the front desk.

Steve frowned looking up from the floor at Nat completely confused.

“Romanoff, what’s going on?” Steve asks frowning when Nat ignored him.

“Yes, of course, I’ll let Dr Raynor know you’re here,” the receptionist says picking up the phone.

Steve starts glancing around taking note of his surroundings for the first time. Everything had a calming nature to it all, with lots of plants and pictures of nature scenes. His eyes then landed on a display full of portraits, he spots the one above the name Dr Raynor seeing the word therapist next to it.

“Romanoff I said no to this” Steve states in annoyance.

“I know but as JJ’s godmother, it is in his best interest that you talk to someone who can actually help you” Nat fires back, turning to face him.

“I don’t need help, plus you promised to take him out for ice cream” Steve points out getting agitated.

“And I will, while you’re in your session me and JJ will go to the local park and once you’re done we can all go for ice cream as a reward” Nat explains.

“I’m not a child that needs a reward for doing something” Steve scoffs shaking his head, hands moving to rest on his hips.

“Good, glad I don’t need to bribe you” Nat states.

“Mr Rogers,” someone says behind him.

Turning around he spots a brown-haired woman who looked to be in her 50s. She raised an eyebrow when Steve huffed in annoyance.

“Pleasure to meet you, I’m Dr Raynor,” she says holding her hand out.

“I’m not doing this” Steve states looking back at Nat.

“Yes you are, it's one session” Nat retorts.

“I don’t care I’m not doing it!” Steve fires back, fury in his voice.

JJ then whimpers in Nat’s arms, a sad and scared expression on his face as he cowered away from Steve. Steve’s shoulders dropped feeling despondent as his son sought comfort from Nat instead of him.

“Do it for Y/N” Nat says gently as she soothed JJ.

Steve sighs before nodding slightly “okay, just this one session that’s it no more” Steve resigns.

“Fine, it’s better than nothing” Nat agrees nodding her head.

Steve nods “I’ll be back soon, have fun at the park I’m so sorry for scaring you,” Steve tells JJ gently, apologising for his outburst.

He sighs in relief when JJ sniffled back his tears, giving Steve a small smile when he ruffled his blond hair.

Turning around he faces Dr Raynor holding out his hand, finally shaking hers “it’s nice to meet you too” he says even if it wasn’t strictly true.

Dr Raynor raised a brow as if she knew Steve was lying “right this way” she says gesturing for Steve to follow her.

Steve sighs glancing one more over his shoulder at Nat. He watched as she got JJ to wave goodbye. A small smile grows on Steve’s face as he waves back before following Dr Raynor down the corridor.

“Make yourself comfortable,” Dr Raynor says as they walk into her offers, gesturing at the couch “do you want a glass of water”

“No I’m fine,” Steve says as he sits down, glancing out the window.

Dr Raynor nods as she sits down opposite him, grabbing her notebook and writing down something.

“How have you been sleeping?” Dr Raynor as she looks up from her notebook.

“Fine” Steve states, deciding to give as little as possible so he could leave.

“Any nightmares?” She presses.

Steve remains silent, turning his head away to look out of the window. He knew he wouldn’t get away with lying, and if he told the truth there was no way they’d let him leave. He heard Dr Raynor sigh before the sound of her pen against paper. Steve instantly scowls as he looks back over at her watching as she made notes.

“Stop that” Steve states.

Dr Raynor glances up at Steve from her notebook before looking back down. Returning to her note-taking.

“I said stop that!” Steve snaps, Dr Raynor sighing as she closed the book resting her hands over the top of it.

“Stop what?” she asks her calm, unbothered gaze meeting his.

“making notes, there’s nothing to make notes on, I’m fine I don’t need your help” Steve rants gesturing to her book.

“Why do you think that?” she asks tilting her head “why do you think you don’t need help?”

“because I don’t, and even if I did there are a million other people out there that need your help more than me, and it’s my fault so they should go first!” he exclaims before letting out a deep sigh and looking down at his lap, fingers fiddling “it’s only fair”

“Can I be honest with you?” Dr Raynor asks getting Steve to glance up at her, shrugging his shoulders in answer.

“You were born at the end of the great war, a war no one ever thought we’d see the likes of again. Your father died when you were a baby, and you grew up in the great depression with barely anything with your mother. You were constantly sick due to a vast number of illnesses and diseases, your mother nursing you back to health while also working, eventually becoming ill herself and dying when you were 18 leaving you all alone” Dr Raynor starts, Steve goes to interrupt but she holds up her hand to stop her.

“war then broke out, you risking everything to be enlisted and finally being given the chance with the super soldier program. You were paraded around like a circus monkey while men laid down their lives, and when you finally got the chance to go to the front lines you watch countless people die, one of them being your best friend, you found the first love of your life only to have to sacrifice yourself and wake up in this new world” she continues.

“you then only had a couple of months before you were thrown back into active duty against aliens, putting your life on the line to save the planet. From that day forward the world continued to get pulled out from under your feet, SHIELD being Hydra, your best friend being alive, and the accords. However you still managed to find some light in your wife, and your son” she says, Steve’s fists clenching at the mention of you and JJ.

“but then Thanos arrived and snapped away half the universe, people lost friends, family and loved ones something you feel you failed to stop, especially since it also took your wife” she sighs “and that is only the stuff I know from the internet, so I’m sure there’s a lot more, so honestly out of everyone else on this planet… no one needs therapy more than you” she finishes.

Silence falls in the room as Dr Raynor’s words sink in. Steve wanted to argue, say every this wrong and false but he couldn’t. He had gone through everything she’d said, and she barely scratched the surface. Seeing it laid out in front of him in black and white left no room for debate anymore.

He let out a deep sigh before looking out of the window at the trees outside “will all our sessions be as brutal as this?” he finally asks looking back over at her.

A small grin appears on her lips as she puts her notebook back down to the side “no, so shall we continue?” she asks gently, Steve nodding his head.

An hour later Steve was stepping out of Dr Raynor’s office feeling emotionally raw but at the same time freer. The weight on his shoulders wasn’t completely gone but it was getting lighter. Dr Raynor was able to explain his feelings and why he felt the way he did, she let him get everything off his chest.

As he stepped outside he shoved his hands in his pockets taking a deep breath. Closing his eyes as he tilted his head back, looking up at the sky.

JJ’s excited squeals pull Steve from his thoughts “Dada!”

Looking over in his direction Steve smiled when he saw Nat walking over, JJ in her arms. A warm smile spread over Steve’s face as he watched JJ bounce in Nat’s arms, reaching out and grabbing for Steve. Steve quickly walked over taking JJ from Nat’s arms lifting him high above his head laughing at JJ’s squeals and giggles. He then hugged him tightly running his hands over JJ’s head, kissing it as he rocked JJ back and forth.

“you okay?” Nat asks after a moment.

“yeah, I’m good” Steve smiles looking over at her “thank you for forcing me here, it really helped”

Nat chuckles nodding her head “good, I’m glad now I think I promised the both of you ice cream” Nat smirks making Steve chuckle.

“you ready for ice cream?” Steve asks JJ, tickling his stomach and making him squeal with laughter, nodding his head.

“c’mon then” Steve smiles heading off with Nat and JJ towards the nearest ice cream shop.

It had been 7 months since Thanos visited earth and wiped out half the universe and Steve felt… okay. He’d been attending therapy twice a week for the last 2 months, building a healthy routine around him and JJ. He’d gotten back into running again, the exercise opening up his chest and allowing him to breathe.

He still had days where he was overcome with grief, days he’d wake up and reach out to find you gone. But with techniques that Dr Raynor gave him, he was able to have those moments and days and not let them get in the way of raising his son and living his life like you’d want him to.

Even as the festive period drew closer Steve was able to find joy every day of his life. He laughed sitting at the table while he helped JJ make festive decorations. Making sure the paint JJ was using wasn’t flying everywhere.

“Knock, knock” Steve heard someone say behind him, frowning when he recognised the voice.

Turning around his suspicions were confirmed when he saw Tony leaning against the door frame. Steve’s jaw dropped slightly, he expected to never see Tony again, let alone Tony actively coming to him. He looked better, the skinny sickly version that Steve last saw was long gone.

“Tony, how- how are you?” Steve asks stuttering in surprise.

“Good wanted to see it with my own eyes” Tony sighs nodding over at JJ.

“oh yeah right, this is JJ” Steve introduces before getting JJ’s attention “JJ this is Tony”

JJ gives Tony a giggle and a wave, making a small smile appear on Tony’s face.

“I was wondering if we could talk?” Tony asks after a moment.

“um yeah sure, just give me a moment to tidy up” Steve agrees nodding his head.

Steve quickly packs up JJ’s art supplies making sure to leave his multi-coloured swirls to dry. He then grabbed JJ quickly cleaning up the paint JJ managed to get on him with some baby wipes. As he worked his mind ran trying to work out what Tony was here to say, what if it was bad news? He then lifts JJ out of his chair and leads Tony through to the common room.

“Sorry Nat and Bruce are out today so he’s gonna have to listen in,” Steve says as he puts JJ down on his play mat.

“It's fine, it's nothing serious anyway” Tony sighs as he sits down on the couch, Steve nods as he also sits down.

Silence falls in the room, the only noise being JJ playing and giggling. Steve wasn’t sure what to say, so much had gone on between the two of them and that was before Thanos.

“I know Pep already told you, but um we’re expecting our first kid in a couple of months, Pep’s doing great, especially considering the scare I gave her at the beginning” Tony starts wringing his hands together “we weren’t going to find out the gender but caved and found out a couple of weeks ago, we’re having a little girl”

A small but sincere smile grows on Steve’s face at the idea of Tony having a daughter “congratulations Tony, I really mean it” Steve nods.

“Thanks, and well it got me thinking really, well actually more panicking than anything else, scared wondering how on earth I was going to raise this little girl, but Pepper gave me a pep talk, reminded me that we have each other but it made me realise that you don’t have anyone, doing this all on your own,” Tony says glancing over at JJ, Steve sighs bowing his head sadly.

“and I’m really sorry, out of everyone I think you got given the worst hand and if I can make that easier for you then I will, because despite everything that happened I still care for your righteous ass” Tony continues making Steve let out a small huff of a laugh.

“language,” he says making Tony chuckle quietly.

“Right sorry, little ears” Tony smirks nodding over to JJ “but look I know everything won’t be sunshine and rainbows between us but I want us to be able to help each other, you giving me advice on how to be a dad, me and pep looking after JJ to give you a break, anything”

Steve smiles nodding his head “yeah that sounds good, maybe the two kids can have a less rocky friendship than us” he says making Tony laugh.

“we can only hope” Tony smiles as he stands up “can I?” he asks pointing to JJ.

“yeah of course” Steve nods watching as Tony gently picked JJ up, moving back and sitting down on the couch.

JJ laughed and giggled as Tony pulled funny faces, tickling his stomach. His infectious laugh spread to Steve and Tony.

“um I wanted to thank you for hiring that lawyer for me and Nat, you really saved our skin,” Steve says after a moment.

“it was nothing, you were right about the accords, the right idea but the wrong way to go about it, and I wanted to try and put it right” Tony admits shrugging his shoulders “he wasn’t supposed to tell you though” he muttered making Steve chuckle.

“Andy was nice, very understanding of my situation said I could call him if I needed to talk,” Steve tells him.

“I’m glad, after everything you deserve to be happy,” Tony says with a small smile.

“you too” Steve smiles.

Steve then glanced to the side when something in the corner of his vision caught his eye. His breath caught when he saw you leaning against the wall a warm smile on your face as you watched Tony and JJ. Your gaze then moved to him and your smile grew, looking over at him proudly. Steve took a deep breath steadying himself because, for the first time, he didn’t feel guilty or sad, he was happy to see you.

Sharing is caring so please reblog if you enjoyed this and maybe even leave a comment to make my day!

Series Masterlist / Masterlist

I don’t have a tag list so follow @secretswiftymarvelfanlibrary and turn on post notifications for updates!

#NiamhWrites #the demigod from asgard series #Steve Rogers #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x y/n #steve rogers x you #captainamerica #captain america x reader #captain america x y/n #captain america x you #marvel #mcu #chris evans

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formulawolff · 3 months

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Hey! Love your work and I think you're great at it! Do keep it up!!!! Love the Alkaline series btw!!!!

I would like to request a fic with Checo x Reader (female). I have a storyline for it and it basically goes as, Checo is divorced but it wasnt a messy divorce and his exwife is encouraging him to find someone. He doesnt find anyone as yet but in walks in reader, reader is rally race car driver for redbull and every now and then she shows up at f1 for a visit. Eventually she visits more often and everyone thinks that she might join redbull f1 technical team but its really because she has a crush on checo but she barely talks to the man cause she's scared to talk to the man. Also, i must say that checo also likes seeing her cause he has a crush on her but he's still working up the courage to talk her.

Now, lets pretend there's a huge building/mansion thing where all the main redbull people (technical team, drivers, everyone that works with redbull f1 and rally) go to sleep for some weirdass reason idk i didnt think much of it. But one night, reader reaches back to the building but a bit drunk, she drives back to the garage and just parks up in her spot, carries the windows down and just sleeps in her pick-up truck. Now on the other side of the garage checo was walking towards his vehicle to go somewhere until he saw reader enter the garage and did the stuff i said earlier. Checo thinks its weird how shes just parked up there so he goes to check on her. He reaches her vehicle, sticks his head through the driver window and could smell the alcohol coming off reader. He ask if shes awake and to his surprise she is shes just too tired to get out off the vehicle. So he offers to take her back to her room but reader wasnt paying attention and blurts out how cute she thought checo was. Checo is shocked by this cause he didnt know she thought of him like that. Reader is out of it cause shes drunk, so her hand reaches out to caress checo's face, he doesnt mind he actually likes it. He thinks shes being adorable and absolutely loves it. However he wants to take her to her room cause he doesnt think its a good idea for anyone else to see her like this. So while reader is making lovey dovey eyes with checo, checo gets her out of the vehicle and bridal style carry her to her room. And during the walk, reader more or less confess that she really likes him and cant stop gushing about he cute and handsome he is. Checo is blushing horrendously and absolutely love this. And since he knows theres a high chance shes not gonna remember any of this, he also confess his love for her to which reader gets more exicted.

Upon reaching readers room and setting her on the bed, she stops checo from leaving and ask him to sleep on the bed with her cause she explains that she doesnt like be lonely and would love if he could stay. Checo obliges and stays with her. When checo gets in bed, reader just cuddles him and checo accepts wholeheartedly cause checo too is a cuddling person and they sleep like that for the rest of the night.

And when reader wakes up she sees checo and think "the hell did i do????"

Let me know what you think about it

BABE I THINK YOU COULD DEF WRITE THIS!!!

i could definitely fulfill this request for you, but since you have such a well-thought and detailed description, i think you have the chops to write it yourself!!! i could def help give you ideas or proofread!!! <3

however, if you would rather i write i, i would happily do that for you! this is such a cute and fluffy scenario, and i’m suck a sucker for fluff! :’)

#asks: checo 💌#asks: sergio perez 💌#asks: fic requests 💌

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talkintomytv · 2 years

Text

Just a bunch of things I imagine Rodrigo De Souza doing between the end of Season 4 and the start of a hypothetical Season 5 for Mozart in the Jungle!

►Shortly after taking the job conducting the New York Symphony, he sent his pet bird, Egor back home to be released. Then, shortly after he was fired, he returned to Mexico and took a long, spiritual hike in the rainforest to visit his ol' pal Egor in the wild. Egor leaves him a new feather for his hair!

►While home, he conducts his old school's youth orchestra. Entering them into and even winning multiple big league competitions all over the world, conducting all those kids to great success! While also dealing with all his unchecked feelings over Maestro Rivera.

►Later, he spent the better half of a year in Japan making peace with the group of fanatics who thought the real Rodrigo died a long time ago and that he was just some imposter taking his place. He stays here just long enough for his hair to grow long again. He even let the group of fanatics cut it however they want before he goes. It looks pretty good! They're all on good terms now.

►One of his composer friends turned film director, made their directorial debut working on a black and white monster movie. They invited him to come star in the film. It was a huge success and even spun off into other films. He gave every last cent he made from the movies in large, unexpected deposits to both the NY and Mexico City youth orchestras.

►After this, he spent his time hopping from city to city sleeping wherever and busking until his fingers bled. Sometimes joining in with other buskers he happens on along the way. His music and reputation draw in large crowds. He lets whatever musicians he's joining in with keep all the money from the crowds he pulls. People in the audience start to film these random appearances of his on their phones and upload the performances to the internet. This is the only way all his NY Symphony pals can check in with him. He still hasn't got a phone and he's still all over the place so every time a new video of him shows up online everyone from the NY symphony is like "Oh, hey! We got a new one!" and they all watch together.

►Somewhere in New York, Hai Lai is taking blind auditions for a violin soloist for a piece she is putting together. No one seems to be doing the trick. Eventually, one player from behind the curtain draws her in like no other. Yep. This is definitely the one! They got the job on the spot. No question. The musician steps out from behind the curtain. It's Rodrigo! They will sort out all their old qualms with each other later. For now, they are just really happy to see each other again! Hailey never would have gone this long without talking to him but shortly after he was fired he was gone and he's not exactly the easiest guy to get ahold of.

There we go Prime Video. I've set it all up for you. I'd gladly pay for a whole year's worth of Prime just to have the opportunity to binge-watch a fifth season of Mozart in the Jungle in a single day.

#gael garcia bernal #rodrigo de souza #mozart in the jungle #prime video #I have so much to say about this warm little series I apologize in advance for flooding the tags #marlees musings #werewolf by night

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puppyexpressions · 1 year

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Crates for House-Training Puppies

Q. We took our puppy to a class at the pet store, and the instructor urged everyone to use a crate for house-training. Is it really fair or kind to keep a puppy in a cage?

A. Old ideas can be hard to eradicate, even when better ones come along. That's certainly true when it comes to house-training, with some people still using pointless, long-discredited methods such as shoving a puppy's nose in his mess or swatting him with a rolled-up newspaper.

Using a crate to raise a puppy is the kindest and fairest method of all, because it provides a puppy with a lesson for life. Not only does a puppy learn when to and where not to relieve himself, but he also grows up feeling relaxed, safe and secure in confinement.

Though the first lesson is for puppies, the second is forever.

Dogs who are comfortable in crates can be more safely transported, and they are generally more relaxed if they have to stay at the veterinarian’s. Finally, crates provide pets with safe, secure housing in an emergency, such as during a natural disaster.

Bottom line: The expanded use of crates, once just for shipping by air, has been one of more significant advances in modern dog training and care.

Most dogs learn quickly that a crate is “a room of his own,” and as long as the pet isn’t left crated for extended periods of time, the crate is a tool that really and truly works well for all.

So how does a crate “magically” house-train a puppy?

Crate-training limits a puppy's options to three: He's either empty and playing in the house, he's in the crate and "holding it" because he doesn't want to sit in his own waste, or he's at the place you've chosen for him to relieve himself. A key to successful crate-training is to purchase a crate that's large enough to allow the puppy to turn around, but not so roomy that he can do his business in one corner and take a nap in the other.

It's also important that puppies are not left in their crates for extended periods of time. Puppies need to relieve themselves after they wake up, after they eat or drink, or after a period of play. Set up a schedule to accommodate his needs as you work to mold behavior; young puppies, especially small breeds or mixes, can't go very long without eating, drinking, sleeping or relieving themselves.

A good rule of thumb: Puppies can hold it as long as their age in months. A 2-month-old pup can hold it in a crate for about two hours, for example.

When the puppy walks into the crate, praise him and give him a toy or treat. But don’t make a huge fuss over his walking in — be calm and matter-of-fact about it. Your puppy should associate positive experiences with the crate, so he comes to think of it as a natural place to relax.

Let the puppy sleep next to your bed in his crate — sleeping near you speeds the bonding process. When he's young, he may wake you in the night to let you know he needs to go outside. But as he grows older, he should be able to make it through the night. Then, as soon as he's awake in the morning, lead him to the chosen outside spot. When he goes, praise him thoroughly. Then take him inside for breakfast. Feed him and offer him water, and then take him out for another chance to go. If he goes, more praise and back inside for play. Once he's completely empty, put him in the crate. Ignore the whines and whimpers. If left alone, the puppy will soon be fast asleep and will stay that way until it's time for the next round of out, eat/drink, out, play, crate.

Remember, the goal is for your puppy to become reliable enough to roam free in your house, not to stay in a crate for life.

Eventually, your pet will spend more of his time loose in the house under your supervision, and he will start asking to visit his outdoor spot. Don't forget to confirm his early attempts at proper behavior by rewarding him with praise and treats.

If you spot an in-house accident, don't punish your pet. Rubbing his nose in the mess is pointless and mean. If you catch your dog in the act, a stern "no" will suffice, followed by an immediate trip to the yard and praise when he finishes up where he's supposed to. Clean up the inside mess thoroughly, treating the area with an enzymatic solution to neutralize the smell.

With proper crate-training, the number of such incidents will be relatively few, and you'll end up with a dog who is not only reliable in the house, but also confident in his own ability to stay alone when you are gone.

#crate training #puppy training #housebreaking a puppy #housebreaking #new puppy #puppy crates

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fandsart · 2 years

Text

Where the 20 Chain Links Lead

On Ao3: Chapter 3 [full chapter]

[Chapter 1] [Chapter 2] [Chapter 3.1] [Chapter 3.2] [Chapter 4]

Chapter 3.2: The Fluctuations of Bonds and the Events of 1984

The kids are all insisting they can help if they make it into some power hub in the tunnels that are being mapped throughout the house. Steve insists they’re not going anywhere; they’re going to stay safe. He’s waiting for them to agree when a loud car pulls up.

“It’s my brother,” the girl- shit, was it Mags? Or Max? Can that even be a girl’s name? She says that. “He can’t know I’m here. He’ll kill me. He’ll kill us.” Steve isn’t entirely sure how much she might be exaggerating, but he can tell from her tone that she isn’t messing around—that she’s serious, even if she might not be speaking literally. Steve hopes she isn’t.

“Stay down,” he tells them, as he exits the house. He’s surprised to find Billy exiting the car. Billy is Mags’ brother. What are the odds? Billy was the new kid though, and Mags was new to the group, so it checked out.

“Am I dreaming, or is that you Harrington,” Billy says.

“Yeah, it’s me. Don’t cream your pants.”

“What are you doing here, amigo?”

“I could ask you the same thing,” he says as he moves forward, standing mere feet away from him now. “Amigo.”

“Looking for my stepsister. A little birdie told me she was here.”

“Huh, that’s weird. I don’t know her.”

“Small? Redhead? Bit of a bitch?”

He tries to convince him she’s not there, but his efforts are wasted when Billy spots her in the window. A few punches are thrown and Steve gives him one last warning.

“Get out.”

“No one. Tells me what to do.” Steve’s on the floor now, Billy crouching over him, pummeling his face in.

↞⬡+¤+⬡↠

The next thing Steve knows he’s waking up in the back of a car. He thinks. He thinks he hears an engine over his ringing ears, and he feels like he’s moving, but maybe he’s just dizzy. Turns out he is moving. He’s in a car being driven by a middle schooler. He starts freaking out, and now everyone is freaking out, but they make it to the destination, hitting only one mailbox.

The destination is, unsurprisingly and annoyingly, not meant to just be an escape from Billy. The kids are insistent that they help how they can, and Steve knows the only way to protect them at this point is to join them in the tunnels.

They use a makeshift crayon map to figure out the way to the sensitive power hub from the entrance Hopper previously dug. They find the hub and make their way back through the tunnels.

↞⬡+¤+⬡↠

They’re nearing the entrance when the entire tunnels shake, knocking Steve and some of the others off their feet. They’re running again, which they’d stopped doing after leaving Dart behind.

“Come on! Come on!” Steve rallies as he moves to boost the kids out through the hole. Dustin is the only one left when the screeches draw near. He grabs the bat and jumps in front of him. They’re all racing through the tunnel, towards them, and Steve has the bat at the ready.

And they all run around the two.

“Eleven,” he hears Mike realize from above the tunnel.

↞⬡+¤+⬡↠

He goes to drop all the kids off at their respective homes, but is met by protests that they have to go check on Will. He supposes that’s fair, but god does he just want the night to be over with. He wants to go to sleep.

“Steve!” he hears someone yell and jolts awake and… yeah that’s bad. He pulls the car over and looks—almost guiltingly pleading—to Mags, sitting at the passengers side. She seems to understand, sympathetically. They both switch seats, moving around the car, without a word. He’s not sure if no one truly breathes a word for the rest of the ride, but he doesn’t hear any. He’s not sure how much of it he’s awake for, drifting in and out as he tries to stay awake.

Mags drives them back to the Byers’ and they’re all clamoring around Hopper, all talking at once.

“Alright, alright alright!” he settles them down. “Listen. Will is in the hospital right now. Visiting hours won’t be open until morning, so you should all just go home. We’ll keep you posted, but as far as we can tell there’s no reason for him to not be fine.”

“Oh that’s great,” Mike says in an oddly condescending way. “Now how about you actually listen to what we were just trying to tell you and have Steve meet up with Will at the hospital.” Steve’s head whips—which turns out to be a bad idea, as a stabbing pain shoots through it—over to the group when he hears this.

“Visiting hours aren’t-” he starts exhausted before looking over at Steve cutting himself off. “Oh shit- What the hell happened?” He turns back to the kids. “Where have you all been?” he asks, as if it just occurred to him that they should have been back once he returned. And yeah, long night.

“Billy beat the shit out of him?” Dustin answers his first question exclusively.

“Billy- Who?”

The kids all start filling in the story, barely keeping their words from spilling over each other.

“My brother. He came to get me.”

“But then he attacked me and Steve stepped in.”

“I think he might have a concussion.”

Hopper marches up to Steve and he instinctively takes half a step back. Hopper shines his police mandated flashlight at his face. Steve sputters trying to turn his head, but Hopper keeps it in place, simultaneously holding one of his eyes open.

“Yeah, that doesn’t look good.” He lowers the flashlight and releases Steve from his grip. Steve stumbles. “That really doesn’t look good.”

“I’m… I’m fine,” Steve tries to reassure.

“Oh- Bullshit!” Dustin calls him out.

“Mike, your sister is in the other room.” Hopper informs. “You’ll be heading home with her. Your parents have already been contacted. Everyone else. Get in the truck! I’ll be taking you home.”

“Steve goes to the hospital first,” Dustin demands.

“Yeah, kid, obviously.”

Steve finds Hopper’s hand on his shoulder, now leading him out the door. The kids scramble ahead of them to get into the back seats. Eleven is already sitting in the passenger seat, but scrambles to the back when she sees them nearing. He hears some of the kids exclaim her name as they join her in the back. Hopper guides him into the passenger seat, which he doesn’t think he needs, but silently appreciates anyway.

↞⬡+¤+⬡↠

They get to the hospital and Hopper only enters the building to tell the woman at the front desk to get Joyce essentially hand Steve over to her. He then leaves, presumably to drop all the kids off at their homes. Steve sinks into one of the chairs as he waits to be collected by Ms. Byers.

“Name?” the woman asks him.

“Steve Harrington.”

She types into their system.

“Would that be ‘Steven Harrington?’”

“Yes.”

She heads back, presumably to get Ms. Byers. His expectations are subverted when Mr. Newby enters the room. “Joyce didn’t want to leave Will,” he explains, apologetically.

“Yeah, that makes sense.”

“They’ll probably call you back any minute.”

It takes barely minutes after those words are spoken. It must be a slow night. He’s questioned about the effects of the injuries. He tells them that he passed out for a decent but unknown amount of time, that his ears were still—just barely—ringing, that he almost fell asleep at the wheel earlier, that his balance has been off slightly, but that he hasn’t vomited. Half of these are asked, but he provides the other half himself.

“The doctor will be with you shortly,” the nurse says, leaving.

“I knew I should have stayed at the house,” Bob says.

“Huh?”

“I considered leaving the car when Nancy got in. I didn’t realize she was supposed to be coming. I thought ‘maybe I don’t need to be here.’ I mean, I know Will’s friends tend to be trouble-seekers. I thought ‘maybe I should stay behind and watch them. This car is crowded as it is.’ Then I didn’t.”

“Yeah, I don’t think you being there would have made much of a difference.”

“Still. I just seem to keep messing up lately. I think I’m the reason Will got, I don’t know, possessed?”

“How?” Steve asks. He means for it to be rhetorical. He doesn’t expect there to be an actual explanation.

“He told me about this recurring nightmare. I told him that he should stop running from it, the thing in the nightmare. That he should stand up to it, that it would help.” He chuckles darkly. “Wasn’t a nightmare.”

“Well… you couldn’t have known that, man.”

The doctor comes in and gives Steve some tests. She tells them that as long as he’s monitored he should be fine, and sends them out the door. Apparently Mr. Newby is the only one in town who doesn’t know where the Harrington house is, because he’s been living in Maine since he graduated high school. So Steve has to direct him on where to go.

They get turned around a few times and as Steve gets frustrated, Mr. Newby just reassures him that the confusion only arrived with the concussion, but they’d get there eventually. And they do.

“Are your parents here?” Mr. Newby asks, squinting around, looking for a car that isn’t there.

Steve shrugs. “Probably not.” He opens the door a crack before Mr. Newby interrupts him.

“You need to be monitored. I can’t just drop you off. Is there somewhere else I can take you? Where someone you know can keep an eye on you?” He looks so goddamned concerned it’s almost annoying. “I’d send you to Joyce, but she’s staying with Will overnight, and- Oh actually. Jonathan’s at the Byers’ house. I could drop you off with him. Would that be good?”

“That’s fine.” He doesn’t really want to see Jonathan right now, but it’s better than nothing he supposes. He knows him well enough. He trusts Nancy, and Nancy has grown to trust Jonathan despite what he did. And he’ll take any excuse to finally go to sleep.

Mr. Newby asks to use Steve’s landline to inform Jonathan of the situation. Jonathan apparently agrees, because next thing he knows, he’s being driven back to the Byers’ house. They get there and Jonathan’s waiting on the porch for them.

“You know,” Steve says before getting out, “if Ms. Byers wanted you to help out with her kid who was having problems, she should have told you what those problems were.” He’d been thinking of the wording the entire way over because stupid concussion making his stupid brain even stupider. But he thinks that makes sense. Mr. Newby doesn’t respond, so he continues. Though these words come out sloppy, unrehearsed. “And you know… now you’ll be better at… you’ll know how to help better now.” God, that was terrible. He opens the door to leave, and hears a ‘Thanks’ just before he closes the door.

↞⬡+¤+⬡↠

Jonathan turns out to be a good choice for keeping an eye on him because he ‘won’t be going to sleep any time soon.’ Though Jonathan might not even be entirely necessary, because Steve keeps waking up every half an hour. He falls asleep to dreams of the tunnels. The hoard of Demo-dogs rushing at him and Dustin, but this time they don’t run past. He jolts awake—or he thinks he does, but it still kind of feels like a dream—and Jonathan calms him down. He’s so tired it never takes long to get him back to sleep.

The fifth time he wakes up he’s only been trying to sleep for 4 hours. Jonathan holds his hand this time. He doesn’t let go even after he falls asleep, and the nightmares still come, but he stays asleep. He’s not sure why it helps him. It definitely doesn’t have anything to do with Jonathan as a person. The Demo-dogs running at them seem slower, and Steve remembers what happens this time. They go around, and Jonathan wakes him up two hours later.

“You shake even when you’re asleep,” Jonathan says. “It’s kind of scary.”

“Sleeping is kind of scary right now.”

↞⬡+¤+⬡↠

In the morning—well, it’s almost 1:00 PM by now—Jonathan toasts pop tarts and… Steve isn’t entirely sure he’s actually had those before. He’s pretty sure his school serves them for breakfast, but he’s only had school lunches. His parents like him to have ‘actual’ food whenever possible, so he’s never had the cheap school breakfasts.

“Sorry, I don’t have the energy to really make anything,” he says, plopping a paper place with two warm poptarts on top.

“I wouldn’t either,” Steve says, pulling apart one of the poptarts. It’s gooier than he expects. “Shit. It’s Monday.”

“Hopper already called us out of school. You, me, and Will.” Joyce and Will haven’t returned from the hospital so Steve isn’t surprised that Jonathan is as jittery as he is, leg bouncing. “So, you and Nancy broke up? Right?” Steve lets out a light breath. So Nancy did make her choice.

“Yeah.”

“Ok. That’s what she told me.”

“I take it you guys are together now. That’s not all that surprising, I guess.”

Jonathan just gives him a guilty look. “Yeah, but I feel like we went really fast. We, uh… we kind of slept together the other night.” Steve lets his eyes drift from Jonathan’s, losing the energy to keep it up.

“Which other night?”

“The night before last night.”

“Ok… We were already over then.”

“Yeah, but I don’t want to- I mean, I can back off.”

“You make each other happy?”

“I… I think so.”

“Then just… do what you want. Just keep your distances.” He gulps. “From me, I mean.”

“Are you sure?”

“If you were anyone else, I’d think you were a rebound, but… this feels like it was a long time coming. So no, I wouldn’t say you’re going too fast.” Jonathan doesn’t say anything else; just looks at him sadly.

Steve thinks it makes sense that she would get with him. They went through a lot last year, and recently, now. Besides, Jonathan’s pretty cute. Objectively. In a weird, sad stray dog sort of way. If he got a better haircut.

↞⬡+¤+⬡↠

When Ms. Byers gets home and sees Steve’s state, she insists he stay monitored by them for another day. He wonders what it is she’s referring to by his ‘state.’ The fact he’s still shaking, or all the cuts on his face from Billy’s beating. Until he stands up too fast and she’s right there to stabilize him. Maybe it’s just everything.

He can’t wait to leave the next day. He needs the high he got last year, after the first encounter.

↞⬡+¤+⬡↠

He’s cleared to go to school the next day, though he sleeps in and has to go back home to shower, and get his school supplies. He doesn’t arrive until lunch period at 12:30, which he barely makes. He’s mostly there because he needs to graduate this year, and now that Nancy probably won’t be helping him anymore, he can’t be missing too many days. He can’t make himself pay attention to any of his classes, so that doesn’t help.

↞⬡+¤+⬡↠

He arrives before Eddie this time and sits on the picnic bench.

“Harrington!” he hears Eddie's voice behind him. “I was starting to wonder if I’d ever see your pretty face around here again.” Steve rolls his eyes and turns around. Eddie’s hair had grown since he last saw him, from what would be considered shaggy to long, reaching just past his shoulders now. Steve might fixate on that a little bit too long, and might internally scold himself for being weird about it. “Whoa… I heard you and Hargrove got into a fight, but shit.”

“Yeah, thanks.”

“Sorry,” he says, even though he’s smiling. “I take it you’re here for some high–grade painkillers.” Honestly that hadn’t even occurred to Steve. The pain felt somewhat distant. He’s not sure if that’s because this is his third black eye in the past year, or just because his mind has been preoccupied.

“No. Is the previous offer still up?”

Eddie clicks his tongue. “Oh, what was that again? 25 dollars to smoke until you feel better?”

“I think so.”

Eddie takes the deal, even when Steve warns him it might take more to calm him down this time. He almost looks concerned as to why that would be, and tells him not to worry about it. He goes through twice as much as last time before he stops shaking for the first time in two days, and he can finally close his eyes without seeing a mass of Demo-dogs charging at him.

He heads home, assured that he’d be able to relax now. He just needed to shut down his panic. Like last year.

↞⬡+¤+⬡↠

When Steve first broke off his friendship with Tommy and Carol, he started sitting with Nancy and Jonathan. Now he sits at an empty table, before a few cheerleaders crowd his space. Since no girl in school would dare tread Carol’s territory, then he dated Nancy, this wasn’t something that had happened before. It almost surprised him.

Before Nancy, he’d have reveled in this. Now he needs a break. By the end of lunch, most of them seem aggravated, but back down

“Back so soon, Harrington?” Eddie grins, only a few days later. “Is there a reason you decided to grace a mere peasant with your presence?” His bravado and flowy language falls a bit flat at the last sentence, as he fails to hide his concern.

“Stay out of it, Munson.”

“I’m just saying. King Steve visiting the village freak, twice in the same week. Seems a bit out of character, doesn’t it.”

“I don’t know about ‘freak.’ I’m starting to think of you as more of a jester.”

Eddie perks up. “Like the court jester?” he asks skeptically.

“Sure man, if you want to think of it that way,” Steve says. Eddie laughs. It’s nice. “I haven’t exactly been ‘king’ for a while, though.”

“People still call you that, you know.”

“In the last week?”

“Yeah. Did something happen in the last week?”

“I guess I just assumed… I don’t know. I’m over the title, at least.”

Eddie hums before cracking open his lunchbox, where he stores his goods. They lay on the table like they always do. Maybe ten minutes of silence, Eddie speaks up.

“You’re growing enigmatic, Harrington.” Steve doesn’t know what that means, but Eddie almost sounds disappointed. Steve doesn’t know how to fix that, so he says nothing.

↞⬡+¤+⬡↠

Steve had been skipping PE the previous day, using his concussion as an excuse, but knew he wouldn’t be able to get out of it forever. He fully intends on attending class today. As soon as he walks in, Billy’s eyes meet him and he immediately scrambles out of sight, backing out the door. Shit.

↞⬡+¤+⬡↠

When Steve gets home from school to Hopper and some other government officials at his door. He freezes for a second. He hasn’t actually been the most legally upstanding citizen. He hasn’t been underage drinking in a while, but you could probably still smell weed on him if you tried.

Instead of searching his house or anything, they sit him at the table and have him sign an NDA. It’s read to him like Miranda Rights, which, thank god. He does not need to embarrass himself about his slow reading and his comprehension skills at the same time. The NDA is fairly straightforward for what he’d think the situation would entail and he agrees to sign.

On the way out the door, Hopper turns to him.

“I hope pot doesn’t become a habit for you,” he says, almost threateningly. Like he understands, but won’t hesitate to turn him in if he catches him. Steve nods. The chief moves to leave again.

“Hey, actually,” Steve stammers a bit, and Hopper turns around. “The guy who gave me a concussion. I have a class with him. Do you know if it would be possible for you to do something about that?” Hopper just nods before turning back to leave.

↞⬡+¤+⬡↠

The next day is Thursday, and he’s called into the office, just before first period ends. They tell him his second and third period classes are going to be switched. He makes a mental note to thank Hopper the next time he sees him. Even if the reason he sees him next turns out to be because he gets arrested for possession of marijuana. If he continues for long.

↞⬡+¤+⬡↠

His parents are home when comes home from school that day. He enters the house and his father immediately stands from where he’s sitting, hands on his hips. Oh no.

“Would you care to explain to me,” Oh no. “why your mother found that you are not only behind on the laundry,” Shit. “but also why the top layer of clothes smell like smoke and drugs?”

Steve gulps. “It’s just marijuana. And does it matter? You let me drink. Why would weed be any different?”

His father marches toward him and Steve stiffens. “I already know you’re a disappointment. Your mother knows you’re a disappointment. Let’s keep it between us three. Drugs; people will pick up on that. They’ll smell it on you. You know who does marijuana?”

Steve rolls his eyes. “The Mexicans.”

His father grabs his face. “Look at me when I’m talking to you, boy.” Never mind Steve was the one talking when he looked away briefly.

Steve gets dragged to the closet, and it’s so much worse than last time. After the events in the tunnels, he needs more light than the sliver under the door provides. He slides his hand under it, gripping the door, like he did last time. When night falls, he remains in the closet, and isn’t released until morning. He wants to skip school that day, and he would have if his parents were on one of their typical business trips. He doesn’t dare while they’re home.

When he comes home Friday, he finds that his parents got rid of all of the clothes left in his basket, all ‘tainted’ with the smell.

↞⬡+¤+⬡↠

Steve’s parents leave again on Saturday, and when Monday comes and Steve hasn’t slept since Wednesday night. He’s thinking about what to do on the way to the picnic bench. He’s going to get high again, that much he knows. He can’t keep going on zero sleep. He just doesn’t know how he’s going to hide it this time.

What had Vanessa said about getting smoke out of clothes. Baking soda? Isn’t that for baking? Would it even work with marijuana?

“This is becoming a regular occurrence, Steve.”

“Well from what I can tell, I’m the only one who actually buys from you. So maybe you shouldn’t complain.”

“I have a few locations I hit,” he says. “This is the last place I get to, so I tend to stick around longer. It’s getting colder, so people prefer the indoor locations.” He clicks his case open.

“You wouldn’t happen to know how to get the smell out of clothes, would you?”

“Haven’t been caught yet, now, have I?”

“I don’t exactly keep up on police reports.”

“Well I haven’t.” He sounds offended that Steve would imply he could have let himself get caught.

“Yeah, well, pretty much everyone at school knows you deal.”

“Oh yeah? And what are they gonna do about it? Snitch? Lose their best access?”

“I… Can we start over?” he asks, not knowing how to apologize. He meant the conversation, and Eddie has to know that, but he swings his legs over the bench and stands up. He bows with grandiosity.

“Eddie ‘The Freak’ Munson,” he introduces, holding his hand out like he expects Steve to kiss it. Steve just grimaces back.

“I thought we talked about that. You’re not…” He blames his exhaustion on his inability to voice his thoughts entirely. Even though that doesn’t check out, because he has all the words thought up, but he’s done it twice now.

“Oh, I get it.” Eddie snaps, plopping back down on the bench. “You retired the king title to be a knight.” He leans forward, looking closer at Steve’s than he had the whole conversation, and his face falls a bit. “Jeez, man. You look exhausted.”

“‘S why I’m here.”

↞⬡+¤+⬡↠

Usually, they spend time staring up at the sky, but Steve’s almost asleep when he hears Eddie’s head turn to face him.

“Steve?” He gives a hum in response, to indicate that he’s still awake. “I know I don’t know you that well, but… it’s obvious something happened.” It’s not a question, but it has a proding tone. Steve knows he can get away with pretending to be asleep now, with how groggy his hum was, so he does. He hears Eddie sigh and feels the joint get plucked from his fingers and he’s asleep within seconds anyway.

↞⬡+¤+⬡↠

He wakes up stiff. Eddie didn’t wake him up this time, so it’s morning. He has a distant thought of almost betrayal that Eddie had left him there, before he turns to see that Eddie is also asleep. He isn’t laying next to him, though, as he had been when Steve fell asleep. He was on the bench, his arms pillowing his head.

He sits up and looks at his watch. He has enough time to get back to school if he doesn’t go home to get changed. Of course, if someone does catch the scent, it would get back to his parents. That can’t happen. Maybe if he goes to the store, he can just buy new clothes and get to school on time.

Eddie stirs, before blinking up at him. “Oh, hey,” he says groggily. “G’morning.”

“Did you fall asleep?”

“I didn’t think I should interrupt your sleep just to tell you to go home. Looked like you needed it. Didn’t want to leave you alone in the middle of the woods all night.” He shrugs.

“Ok, well I’m gonna need, uh… one of those bone doctors.”

“A chiropractor?” he laughs.

“Mhm, yep.” Steve feels the same as he normally previously would if he’d woken up in the middle of the night. Still exhausted, but he would be able to manage for a while. He makes his way up, his back cracking a few times as he stands.

↞⬡+¤+⬡↠

Steve ends up skipping first period, running home to get dressed. He shoves his clothes under his mattress, just in case. He’d take care of them after school.

↞⬡+¤+⬡↠

Back when Steve was still friends with Tommy and Carol, the three of them mostly just ate with each other, since no one dared tread in their territory. Carol covered some bases Steve hadn’t really considered until she was no longer there.

It’s lunch and he’s being flocked by girls. Well, ‘flocked,’ but there’s a good chunk of them who apparently don’t have anything better to do or talk about with their actual friends. Like, seven cheerleaders, and two or three girls who are confident despite not being. Even when he was dating Nancy, and everyone knew he was dating Nancy, every now and then a few girls would come over and try to pry his attention, but it’s so much worse now that everyone knows he’s available.

The girls who regularly surround his table have grown to accept that he’s not planning to rebound so quickly, but they don’t exactly back off all that far. He takes his seat next to Virginia Emerson, not long before Eddie walks up to the table.

"Steve," he calls, before seeming to realize who all, exactly, is at the table he's walked up to. "Oh... uh..." He holds up a folded piece of paper, as if that explains what he's here for.

"Oooh," Tiffany Huntsman mocks. "I think the freak wants to give you a love letter, Steve."

"Whoa," Steve directed at her after hearing the word freak leave her mouth. "Be cool."

"Actually," Eddie scoffs. "I got those notes you asked for," he seems to settle on saying.

"Notes?" Steve asks, eyebrows furrowed.

"Just- here, man." He flicks the paper toward him. Steve picks it up and pulls the first fold open, revealing a label in big sloppy letters.

How to hide the smell of weed

"Oh, those notes," he said. "Yeah, thanks man." Steve is almost enunciating his words, as if to make it clear to the girls that they shouldn't have jumped to those kinds of conclusions. Eddie only gave a small wave in response, moving to retreat.

“God, what a freak,” Lissa Dunn mutters.

“Hey,” he immediately snaps.

“What? He’s not here anymore.”

“Oh, come one Lisa,” Virginia voices. “You know Steve has a soft spot for weirdos.”

“What?” Steve asks.

“Relax, Stevie. I think it’s cute that you take pity on the little guys.”

“I just… what do you mean?”

“Well come on Steve. Your first girlfriend was Nancy Wheeler.”

“What’s wrong with Nance?”

“You mean besides the fact that she broke up with you for Jonathan Byers?” Lisa quips and there’s some echoing laughs that follow.

“She’s just, you know…” Virginia says, “She gets obsessed over nothing stuff. It’s weird.”

“She dresses like Little Bow Peep.”

“Plus she’s so caught up with school. I mean, she’s such a nerd. She’s just gotten better at acting above it.”

“She has passion,” he defends.

“It’s ok, Steve. She’s not your girlfriend now. You don’t have to protect her anymore.”

Steve gets up, taking his school tray with him. Everyone watches him leave, curious as to what made King Steve storm out of the castle. He eats in his car that day.

↞⬡+¤+⬡↠

Nancy stops him after school before he returns home.

“The Hollands are planning dinner for next week,” she tells him, awkwardly. “Would you still like to come? Or if you’re just busy I can ask them to reschedule.” Steve sucks in a breath through his teeth. He definitely doesn’t want to sit down and have a whole meal with Nancy, whether or not they plan on posing as if they’re still dating or not. He’s been so exhausted lately, he doesn’t know if he could muster up the energy. But… he really doesn’t want to have his last interaction with them to be them telling him they’re glad he still cares. Doesn’t want to feel like he passed a threshold to allow him to stop. Doesn’t want them to think that of him; doesn’t want it to be true.

“Can I get that extra week?”

“Don’t worry,” she tells him. “Me and Jonathan might have figured out a way to get admittance from Hawkins Lab that they caused her death. It will give the Hollands closure, and we won’t have to do this anymore.” Steve sucks in a breath.

“You and Jonathan huh?”

“Steve, don’t be like that. That was before everything. That’s what we skipped school for.”

“Oh. I thought that was to bang.”

“Why would you think that?”

“Because I know you did.”

“What…”

“Jonathan told me. I mean, he said you did it at night, so I guess that theory didn’t really check out, huh? I don’t know. Thought maybe you got held up or something.”

“God I can’t believe he told you that,” she practically spits.

“Yeah, and I can’t believe you didn’t. I mean, come on, Nancy!”

“We aren’t dating anymore, Steve!”

“But you’re still having me take you to the Hollands.”

“You don’t have to come.” She’s actually getting aggravated now. It’s almost nice, and Steve feels like an asshole for that. He takes a breath. Tries to level his head.

“No. No, I’m gonna come. I just… Are we going to have to act like we’re still dating?”

“I think… I think that would be easiest.”

Steve can feel himself slipping into his emotions. “Give me the week,” he says.

↞⬡+¤+⬡↠

Steve spends the afternoon cleaning his clothes from the previous night, using the method Eddie wrote down for him. He knows if he throws Eddie’s instructions away he won’t remember them. He needs to hide the note somewhere his parents won’t find it. The only problem is that there was only one place he could think of. His parents were nosey and had high standards for the cleanliness and appearance of their house, so the only place they didn’t check was the closet. They knew he was afraid avoidant of it, so they never opened it except to shove Steve inside. The top shelf was left when everything was removed, sitting well above even Steve’s father’s head. Steve shakily slides the note as far back as he can reach and practically slams the door back closed.

The monotonous task of cleaning the clothes is soothing and when it’s finished he moves to making a batch of bagels. His stash had run out a few days ago, and he’d just been skipping breakfast. He finds himself staying up until just a bit past midnight, and when he does get to bed, he actually gets to sleep. A dreamless sleep, for once.

↞⬡+¤+⬡↠

He spends all of his free time keeping his mind busy, and it seems to work. He does his homework for the first time since the Halloween party with Nancy, and he almost enjoys it. He definitely enjoys having it as an alternative to letting his mind drift elsewhere.

Everything is sinking back to normal and he can finally feel it in his mind. There’s a fog he’d grown accustomed to that is finally lifting. He feels real again. He does a lot of cooking, jogging, and cleaning until the second week is up and he has to pick Nancy up for the Hollands’ dinner.

↞⬡+¤+⬡↠

He picks her up and neither of them say a word until they greet Mrs. Holland at the door. Even then, neither of them are speaking to each other, just within each other's vicinity.

While Steve had learned to keep his dumb questions to himself during classes, he was well in the habit of voicing them outside the classroom. He especially got in the habit again when he started dating Nancy and she would always answer, with a passion and excitement to spread her knowledge. He’s finding himself voicing these questions to no one in particular during the meal, and almost expects Nancy to answer, but she doesn’t. It hurts in a way he didn’t expect.

“Are you alright, Nancy?” Mrs. Holland asks, after one too many ignored questions.

“You know what,” she says thoughtfully, glancing at Steve, “no. Not really. I didn’t want to make this about us, but Steve and I are no longer… together. And it’s fine,” she stresses. “We’re just not quite on our feet about interacting yet.”

Both Holland’s gaze turn to his and he dodges their eyes, looking away entirely. Mr. Holland must take that as some sort of admission of guilt because he asks, “What did you do?”

It’s not exactly like he can defend that he did anything, especially since he’s not entirely clear on that himself. As far as he can tell, Nancy was upset because he didn’t care enough about Barb’s death. He doesn’t think he could force himself to tell them that. He stands abruptly and leaves the room. From behind him, he can hear Mrs. Holland gently scolding her husband. Steve goes out to his car where he waits until Nancy returns.

“You’re still here,” she says, sounding confused.

“I’m your ride,” he says simply. She nods, entering the car. “What did you tell them?”

“I’m sorry?”

“What did you tell them? That I did- What did you tell them I did?”

“Nothing. I told them we were drifting, emotionally.”

“They didn’t question that?”

“A bit, but not enough to be unconvinced.”

Steve starts the car. They’ve passed a few blocks before anything else is spoken. “I can’t keep doing this,” Steve says. “Not if… No. I can’t.”

“Steve, come on,” she pleads, using those big blue eyes of hers. Steve is too busy looking at the road to see them, but they can feel them burning the side of his head. “We might only need to do this a few more times. And don’t you think you kind of owe it to them. Barb did die in your pool.”

Steve slams on the breaks, right in the middle of the road. Luckily for them it wasn’t busy, because it’s not like Steve took that into account. He turns his eyes, horrified, to meet Nancy’s.

“Eleven found her in the upside down version of your pool. Did I… never tell you that?”

Steve doesn’t respond; just slowly and shakily moves his foot back to the gas pedal. ‘Like we didn’t kill Barb,’ Nancy had said at the Halloween party. Had he?

They get to Nancy’s house and as he leaves the car he can vaguely hear Nancy questioning his action to do so, before he vomits on the pavement.

“Oh my god! Steve!” She runs over to him, placing her hand on his back.

“Please, just go away.” It takes a few seconds, but he eventually hears the click of her shoes retreating.

“Don’t worry about the mess, ok? We’ll clean it up.” Then he hears the door click.

He stands there for an embarrassingly long time, allowing the new information to wash over him along with the acidic smell of his stomach acid combined with the baked ziti he had at the Hollands. When he finally goes to leave, he catches two heads ducking out of sight from the window of the house.

He drives home with the fog seeping over his brain. When he gets there he covers up every window and glass door that the pool is visible from.

↞⬡+¤+⬡↠

That night he dreams about his first encounter with the Demogorgon. It goes mostly the same as it always does, but this time when it catches on fire, it’s completely unaffected. It stays on fire and the bear trap fades to ash, releasing it. It grabs Nancy and Jonathan and they disintegrate on the spot. It grabs Steve by the face and he wakes up gasping for breath.

He manages to even out his breathing after he doesn’t know how long. He doesn’t get back to sleep that night; just sits in silence, staring at the ceiling. If he concentrates, he can hear a light whooshing in his ears. Like the muffled sound of an air conditioner.

↞⬡+¤+⬡↠

The next day, he makes stew for dinner. It’s the most time consuming meal he’s learned, taking a few hours to complete, and he certainly needs the distraction. He’s at the final step, when the doorbell rings. He opens it to find Dustin, carrying a few paper bags.

“What are you doing here?” he asks.

“I got the stuff,” he says, “the Fabergé and the Farrah Fawcett, but I think our hair is too different and it hasn’t really been working. I was hoping you could help me, you know… perfect the recipe.”

“I’m kind of busy working on my own recipe here.”

“Oh, what kind?” Dustin asks, barging past Steve like it was his own house. When Steve doesn’t answer—left speechless by the audacity—Dustin looks around aimlessly before plopping the bags on the bench in the foyer. “This place is enormous. Where’s that recipe you’re working on?”

“Shit,” Steve spits quietly at himself, realizing it’s still on the stove. He rushes over to it, turning it off to stir the contents, before turning it back on again once he thinks the heat has evened back out. The last fog that remains let it slip his mind to move it off the burner to answer the door. Or he’s just being regular stupid again.

“You meant an actual recipe?” he hears from behind him. “What are you making?”

“Doesn’t matter. I only made one serving.”

“I didn’t come here for food anyway, I came here for hair advice. There’s a school dance coming up and I want to have it figured out before then.”

“Have your friends help you with it.”

“I want it to be a surprise.”

“Have your mom help you with it.”

“Are you kidding? ‘My mom did it for me?’ That’s so embarrassing.”

“How is that any more embarrassing than harassing a high schooler about it?”

“Uh, having a cool, older friend to take me under his wing?”

“Who says we’re friends?”

“I’d like to be.”

“For cool points. Get out of here.”

“Steve… I haven’t seen you since we dropped you off at the hospital, and Mike said he saw you puke on his driveway. I’m just… I’m worried about you. Is that not ok?”

“Why?”

“Why, what?”

“I just… kid you don’t have to worry about me. I’m fine. Go home. Have your mom help you.”

“You’re fine? Is that why I’ve seen three blankets on the walls since I’ve gotten here? What’s that all about? Is it to block out light? Are you still getting headaches from the concussion?” He’s referring to the covered windows, and god, he sounds so concerned. Steve doesn’t know what to make of it.

It’s not like he’s never had anyone worry about him. Vanessa was clearly worried he’d starve to death if she didn’t teach him to cook, but she just barged in and insisted on teaching him. Maybe Dustin was just too young to know the solutions to the problems he’s confronted with, and is just freaking out.

“Don’t worry about it,” Steve reassures. “I’m not getting headaches. That’s for something else.” He turns the stove off, and lets it simmer. Dustin just looks at him almost suspiciously before finally letting it go.

“Whatever. Are you going to help me or not?”

Steve sighs. “Fine,” he says. “Do you want some?” he asks, gesturing to the pot. Dustin hums in thought.

“Well let me see.” He grabs the stirring spoon and tastes it. “Wow, that’s really bland.”

“I don’t cook for fun. I cook to eat.”

Dustin turns toward the kitchen door. “Where’s your mom?”

Steve shrugs. “Who knows?”

Dustin hums again. “Do you have any spices or something?” Without waiting for a response, he starts digging around in the cabinets. Steve does have spices, but he didn’t put them there. It’s just the stuff Vanessa stocked the house with for whenever she cooks, which isn’t something she’s done in months, Steve is just realizing. As his parents' company has grown, they’ve been eating out, at expensive restaurants, almost every day. Steve, of course, still has an allowance.

Dustin has found a variety of things, and is just eyeballing his way through it. Throwing in things that are—from Steve’s limited perspective—seemingly random, but with the confidence of a professional. “If I’d gotten here earlier I’d have told you to put onions in it from the start, but it’s a bit late for that,” Dustin says. “Otherwise, that should be good.”

Steve grabs a separate spoon and tastes it. “Holy shit, it is! Where did you learn to do this?”

“I guess that’s just what happens when Claudia Henderson is your mom.”

They both eat, Dustin taking a much smaller serving since he’d also be getting dinner at home and Steve wouldn’t be having much else. Then they move to the restroom to experiment with the curly mass of hair that lays on top of the Henderson’s head. They think they’ve got it down. Of course, they can’t undo and redo the hair with all these products in one sitting, so they agree for Henderson to come over the next day to make sure they had it down. Mostly, he just needed a bit more product than Steve, and a little help from a hair dryer. The theory is confirmed the next day.

↞⬡+¤+⬡↠

Later that week—Saturday—Steve has the news on to fill the silence of the empty house, when he hears the name Barbara Holland, and he stops his pushups. A man named Murray Bauman—and why does that name sound so familiar—had uncovered some footage of one of the heads of Hawkins Lab, admitting involvement in the coverup of her death. Steve’s realing, because ‘What coverup? She just disappeared. In my pool.’

The news claims there was a chemical leak, and they found her body. They hid her.That’s why the name Murray Bauman sounds so familiar. The Hollands hired someone to figure out what happened.

He immediately drives over to Nancy’s place. Doesn’t even change out of the workout clothes he’d donned.

↞⬡+¤+⬡↠

He’s sticky with dried sweat by the time he gets there, a fact he’s distantly aware of. Mr. Wheeler answers the door.

“Aren’t you two supposed to be broken up?” he asks with a huff.

“Yes,” Steve says. “I still need to talk to her.”

“Have fun winning her back in that get up.” He gestures to Steve’s obviously sweaty workout clothes.

“I just need to talk to her, please!”

“Well, since you said please,” he sneers, condescending, before slamming the door in his face. Steve stands at the door for a minute, stunned. He’s about to knock again when the door opens again. Apparently Mr. Wheeler had gotten Nancy, if begrudgingly, and she looks happy.

“Why is the news saying that Barb died in a—what was it—a chemical spill?”

“Well they had to say it was something. I told you, Jonathan and I got them to admit guilt.”

“I just… I thought you were just going to get them to tell the truth. Not to everyone, but just to the Hollands.”

“They can’t just do that. But now, at least they won’t be spending all their money on the lost cause of hoping to find their daughter alive. They finally have closure.”

“Do they? I mean, we’re lying to them.”

“You’re the one who wouldn’t let me tell them the truth.”

“That doesn’t mean lying to them!”

“We already were lying to them!”

“What?”

“A lie of omission. Is still a lie.”

“I just… It’s not like they have any reason to believe we could have known. We shouldn’t know. There’s no reason we should know.”

“But we do. That’s the difference. I can’t just sit around and do nothing about it. You were right, we can’t tell them the truth, but… this is the best we can do. They won’t be waiting for their little girl to come home. And they won’t have to sell their house to do it.”

“Ok,” he says. “Just… next time, could you make sure I don’t find this stuff out from the news?”

“You’re right. I’m sorry. You’ve been out of the loop a lot in the past year. God, I haven’t even told you where the monsters come from, have I?”

“Don’t worry about it. Henderson already filled me in about that.”

“Oh, right,” she smiles. “You had your own little side adventure, didn’t you?”

“Ok, you need to stop doing that,” he backs away.

“Doing what?”

“Acting like everything’s fine between us. Joking. This conversation is over now. I’m going home.”

↞⬡+¤+⬡↠

He gets a call later that day. He’s being invited to Barbara’s funeral. He can hear the tears in Mrs. Holland's shaky voice, as she chokes the words out. Of course he agrees to come.

↞⬡+¤+⬡↠

The funeral is only a few days later. He has to call Vanessa to get her to excuse him from school so he can go. The gathering is too small, Steve thinks. There’s maybe fifteen people, and that includes Nancy’s parents and Jonathan, who she dragged along with her.

“I can come to the next dinner if you want,” Steve tells Mrs. Holland on arrival. They’re both putting their coats up in the funeral home.

“I don’t think we’ll be having any for quite a while,” she responds. “If ever again.”

“I think you should. Pay memorial, or whatever.”

“We held the dinners to keep up hope. Hope that we’d find her. That’s all gone now.” She sniffles. ”Besides, we’re still busy trying to sell the house.”

“You’re still selling your house?” Steve’s voice almost breaks.

“We were already paying Murray with money we already didn’t have, and then had to dish out money for the funeral. We don’t have much other choice.” She rushes out of the room soon after that.

Parallel to that conversation, after the eulogy Steve is putting his coat back on when Mr. Holland gets his attention.

“I wanted to apologize for jumping to conclusions about you and Nancy.”

“That’s ok. I know I have a reputation of being kind of a douche… But I’m just here for Barbara right now, so… yeah, don’t worry about it.”

“Call her Barb. She always hated when people called her Barbara.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

“It’s ok. No one told you.”

↞⬡+¤+⬡↠

Mr. Wheeler had been leering at Steve the entire eulogy, and after switching locations to the actual burial site he pulls him to the side.

“Nancy’s too good for you,” Mr. Wheeler tells him.

“I know.”

“So what are you doing here?”

Steve blinks. “Because Nancy might be too good for me, but at least I have my priorities straight. We’re at a funeral, man. Why are you even here?” Mr. Wheeler, Ted as Steve had heard Mrs. Wheeler call him, doesn’t respond. He just makes a face like he smelled something bad. Steve walks away.

Masterlist

Chapter 4>>

#stranger things #steddie #steveddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #nancy wheeler #dustin henderson #steve harrington angst #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things fanfic #stranger things fic #steddie slowburn #steddie slow burn #verbal abuse #my writing #20 chain links #fandsart

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parkweylyn · 2 years

Text

TXT's Kang Taehyun ff

A bottle of beer in your hands, cool wind blowing your hair in directions and giving your face a little hug as your tears roll down your eyes. You do not plan on getting back any sooner, but to stay at the terrace for a little while more.

You were upset, not angry but upset because, who wouldn't be?? Won't you be upset, hurt when your own fiance doubts you even though you were not at fault?

Flashback

It was just a normal day in korea, you were on the way to TXT's studio as they had their comeback coming up in a few months and moreover because of their busy schedules you all probably wont be able to see each other, so just as a supporter you wanted to visit them.

Coming in into the studio you noticed.....a laptop with nothing displaying on it rather than a background picture of a sunset, suddenly you were startled by noise of Hueningkai shouting, "Y/N WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU DONE??ARE YOU FUCKING INSANE??"

The rest of the members barged in after Hueningkai, you were confused and scared as this was the first time you ever heard him scream that too on you, you couldn't find words as you have never been yelled at, soon Kai told that his laptop didn't have the sampled song that he made for the upcoming comeback and you must've done something to it.

You looked at Taehyun but he avoided eye-contact, yet you said that you had just arrived and was searching for them but noone believed, and the situation was that they couldn't even go against Kai. You started to tear up as this wasn't the first time Taehyun didn't defend you, out of embarrassment you started to walk out, but the members were calling for you, yet you didn't turn back.

In the evening when Tarhyun came back home, he didn't even glance at you, you made his dinner, that too was his favorite, yet he ignored, you ate your dinner and headed to the bedroom and there he was drying his hair, you said "Taehyun, I-" you were cut off by him "Just tell me why?WHY DID YOU DO IT? YOU KNOW ITS IMPORTANT FOR US, THEN WHY?"

"I DID NOT TAEHYUN, I DID NOT DO ANYTHING OF THAT SORT, AND I WOULD NEVER DO IT? WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS LIKE THIS? EVEN I AM A CEO, YOU HAVE ALSO SOMETIMES DESTROYED MY PAPERWORK AND YET I DO NOT SAY ANYTHING. WHY CAN'T YOU TRUST ME FOR ONCE ?" You stated with pure anger and frustration.

"Do whatever you want to do" he stated and went to bed covering himself with duvet.

You were feeling awful at this point not because of this argument or what happened but because of Taehyun not trusting you, you went beside him and he back faced you, you called him placing your arm on his shoulder but he yanked it away, Ouch! That hurts. You then slept after trying so hard.

The other morning you went to the HYBE building again and as you were entering you saw Kai's sister, you both said hello and went together as you both were going to the same spot, Hiyyih entered first and greeted everyone and other's did the same, but once they saw you, the mood changed Kai's eyes were dark and then he said sarcastically "look who do we have here, the one who vanished our efforts at once, welcome, welcome"

Hiyyih looked confused and stated "idk what you all are talking about but Kai oppa your laptop got mixed with mine and your's is here and can i get my laptop back?"

Kai's eyes were big and same goes to the members.

They all looked at you, and you passes Hiyyih her laptop and she said her goodbye to all and left

You looked at them and smiled, that freaked them out and without another word you left, in the evening Tae came and went straight to the bedroom and found you sleeping and his heart clenched hurting him so bad and then he freshened up and laid down beside you. He knew you didn't wanna talk so due to tiredness he slept off... soon after he slept you went to the terrace

Present time

While closing your eyes and the soft wind hitting your burning face you felt someone's arms around your waist, you did not move, you knew it was him, it had to be him

He kept hugging you saying how sorry he was and that he is an idiot

You caressed his head that qas resting on your shoulder, your fingers touching his hair, and you said " I don't know myself, I can't be mad at you but I surely am upset with both you and kai so you have to make up for your mistakes "

"This time I'll make you feel so proud having me as your fiance, I'll make sure this never happens" Taehyun said.

"I wanna go for a long ride" you said, "Thwn what are you waiting for? Come on, let's go"

Guys this is my first time writing here, please do show some love and I will also be taking requests about writing ffs so do share your ideas with me, and please do tell me if i should do an introduction of myself

@parkweylyn

#taehyun x reader #kinkoctober #taehyun ff #tomorrow x together #txt yeonjun #txt beomgyu #soobin #huening txt

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djavlaalskadeunge · 2 years

Text

Letter 18

“California 3-6-26

When will you send me your photo that you talked about?

Sweet dear Mimi!

Thank you for your letter for your kindness, it always feels so good to know that you are there even if I don't get to see you. I want to try, I have promised myself not to complain and I would prefer this not to become a letter of complaint. I believe that God sent me all this heavy horror that happened because I was unhappy, perhaps without needing to be. What has come over me, I can't believe, I can't understand that it is true and cannot be changed. It is suddenly as if life has ended and something has died inside me.

It's not a tragic feeling either that I go and write "now life is ruined for me. No it's such a strange calm feeling just like what happens doesn't concern me it doesn't wake me up and it doesn't sleep all that still . I don't know what it is but it's so strange. I wouldn't lie but having to be here now is not fun. I've been waiting for letters or telegrams saying that everything that happened wasn't true someone had only wanted to be mean I would pray God bless the one who did the evil only that it would not be so. Can you understand that those we hold dear pass away - if we ourselves should live 100 years we shall never see them here again. Never - can you understand that. I didn't get time to do anything for her either. I never got the chance to be kind, indulge her, see her happy. The feeling you get when you say you didn't get time, no human tongue can express.

I have worked and work very hard it is too much for a woman. After this film, I intend to take the consequences and ask to travel home. I can't bear it, I have to go see mother and visit Alva's grave, maybe I can see her. I still get no feeling for my work, I go to and from like a machine. If only you could understand how I live. You know that Stiller would be the director of my second film, the one I'm doing now. Only a week after my little sister's death came another blow. Moje unlucky Moje has gone through hell here. The Americans have been terrible, they don't want to let him make films like he's used to, get involved in everything and take away his inspiration, poor Moje was exhausted and tired. He walked away from it all. He was decent you know didn't yell didn't fight didn't give in to them and ruined for himself. They probably wanted to remove the personal aspect of him, so he would make films like everyone else makes here. I have now had to switch to an American director. I actually didn't know if I should run from everything. Everyone also knows that I'm on Stiller's side, but that doesn't concern me. Don't know what will become of it all. Mimi, when you see Gösta Khylberger, don't you want to give him a kiss from me. He is so sweet, my dear Gösta. He has done a lot of good for me, I am eternally indebted to him. Seeing you and Gösta again is the bright spot for me. I sincerely hope that everything goes as I wish, then I can be home in September. Then you must be in Stockholm again. Are you happy and is Nisse healthy? I know you're busy and how it goes with writing, I'm an example of that, but I think I hear so rarely from you it's because I'm the same. Come over here to me darling and we'll go home together it is a divine sea voyage divine.

I thought, you know, I would try to get mine over here if my film is successful, and then stay here for another 2 years. I don't have a salary now, you understand, to talk about can only live "all right", but if my film is good, I hope to get more. Hope I get rich. If I were to get money one time, I would like to invite you on a trip to a place where you would like to go if I could come along, of course. I don't dare build anything up in my head. Life usually has other things in store, but who knows, maybe it could be. Mimmie, I miss you so much, you can't come. But maybe I get a bad conscience, this is not fun, you see. Anyway, I still hope to see you again before the end of the year. It's nice to have hope. I ask you to understand that no one is happier about your success than me, little Misse, I knew you had the blood of an artist exotic, I also think you are. I wish you to be happy and tell me. Write to me again about your plans for the summer. Would you like to say hello to Nisse and then to your family. To Mona and Vera ————————————————————-My sincere longing follows these lines over to you and Europe ——- Greta.”

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edenityy · 4 months

Text

( chapter nine ! )

"Aren't you quite popular these days, Earl.."

The sitting room of Ciel Phantomhive's townhouse is once again occupied by himself, Leah, and Lau, a faint sense of deja vu overcoming the trio. For as often as they find themselves in there, the encounters start to feel the same at some point. The only thing missing is the nonexistent silhouette of Madame Red in her seat.

Seated in a chair in front of a long bookcase, Lau holds the newspaper up for him to read, "To be honest those two have been ultra suspicious from the get-go."

"That is true though.." Ciel looks annoyed as he opens an invitation, "I just can't see why those two would cause trouble."

"They seem nice. As strange as they are," Leah comments, fiddling with the fabric of her navy blue dress.

Ciel huffs as he looks towards Lau, "If they are criminals why would they come and stay with me of all people?" he questions. "They are not really all that suspicious at all, right?"

"Well then.." Lau smiles. "It would be pretty neat if it were nighttime soon, don't ya think?"

— ౨ৎ —

Later that night, Ciel and Leah both watch as Soma and Agni prepare to leave the building.

"We're off then!" Soma announces, Agni bowing at the door behind him. "Go get some sleep you two."

Releasing a noise of irritation, the Phantomhive watches them leave while his fiancé beside him yawns. "Are we following them?" she asks.

Parading through the streets, Soma and Agni visit buildings and shops and show their drawing of Mina, looking for the missing woman. Not far behind them, Ciel, Leah, Lau, and Sebastian watch from a wall, observing their whereabouts.

"It really does seem like they are just looking for that person.." Lau speaks with knitted brows.

Ciel shivers in his spot despite wearing his winter clothes, cold air releasing from his mouth. "In this country, the best place to look for news of that person would be in a club or a pub. It really seems like they aren't up to something."

"I told you. They are just a bit.. eccentric," Leah points out, shuffling closer to Ciel in the hopes of warming herself up. The fur of her winter coat slightly obscures her eyes, two little pom poms hanging from a string.

The group watches as Soma storms out of the pub, angrily stomping with Agni following him.

"It is now one am," Sebastian points out, checking his watch. "I predict they will return home soon. We should go home also."

— ౨ৎ —

Back at the townhouse, it is now two forty-five in the morning when Agni finally makes his move to leave. Lau seems surprisingly alert despite the time, however Leah and Ciel are practically falling asleep on each other, struggling to keep her eyes open.

Dropping lower on the roof, Sebastian hangs upside down and looks at the three through the window. "Young Master, he's making a move."

Ciel slowly blinks, trying to shake away the sleepiness. "Good, so—"

"Wait!"

Standing in the doorway is none other than Prince Soma, "You! Let me come also." he asks. "I have been aware for some time that Agni goes out while I'm asleep. I want to know what he is up to."

A silence falls upon everyone before they seemingly agree, preparing to put on their winter clothes to venture out in the snow at the late hour.

"No one let Anna know I'm doing this. She will be displeased.." Leah complains, yawning as she wraps her coat around her thin body.

— ౨ৎ —

Venturing through the snowy streets, it takes some time before they stop by a large manor, two men stationed at the front of the large gate. Agni is seen walking through, briskly entering the building, and doesn't notice the group following after him.

"So.. he went inside this building?" Lau questions, looking up at a tree peeking over the gate.

"This looks like.." Sebastian trails off.

Pressing his mitten-covered hand to his chin, Ciel's brows knit together, "Maybe finally we can see what is going on."

Cocking her head back, Leah stands closely next to Ciel and keeps an arm intertwined with his, bouncing in her spot to try and combat the cold. "What are you talking about?" she questions. 'Good Lord, it feels like my hands are going to fall off..'

"What's that supposed to mean?" Soma's tone is harsh as he begins to question things. "Who lives here?"

Lau presses a hand to the prince's shoulder, "Settle down, Prince. No need ta' panic." An uncovered hand goes to his chest. "If you go in, you shall see the horrible truth.. you and I.. eh?"

"In saying that you mean you have no idea what's going on either?" Ciel deadpans, trying to ignore his fiancé occasionally poking a cold finger to his cheek.

Lau flashes one of his ridiculous smiles, "Yes. So who lives here?"

"This is the home of Harold West Jebb. He is involved in the import of various goods," Ciel explains. "I've only met him once while off duty. He is rather creepy, not to mention his criminal record."

Slipping a hand out of her mittens, the brunette giggles to herself before pressing a freezing finger to Ciel's cheek. Her fiancé isn't as amused as her, feeling the cold radiating off of her and swatting her uncovered hand with his covered ones, giving a quiet 'your hands are freezing..'.

"Imported goods, eh? Then me and him are in the same business," The Chinese man smirks, folding his arms together.

Pressing a hand to his chin in thought, Soma side-eyes Lau who's a little in front of him. "Why would Agni want to visit such a person?"

"He mostly imports Indian spices and teas," Ciel says. "He runs a general store named 'Harold Trading'. He also runs 'Harold's Hindustani Coffeehouse'." The young Earl's sentence finishes a little abruptly, once again swatting Leah's hands away with more purpose.

"Mina's name appeared on some of Lord West's papers," Sebastian moves himself around to stand in front of the group, wall to his back. "According to what I read, business mostly took place in the Bengal area. The hanging incident may have hurt the business, however.. It seems such damage was avoided due to Lord West being absent while the incidents took place."

Ciel cranes his neck to look at the top of the gate, "I guess we'd better go in then.."

"If it's your wish," Plucking Ciel and Leah from their spots, Sebastian places his master under his arm and holds Leah up above his head, jumping over the gate with ease.

"Hey, you!"

"Oh!"

"I do believe it is much faster this way," Sebastian quips, placing the aristocrats down gently. "Do forgive me for handling you like that, My Lady." The butler bows as he kneels to fix their coats, Lau watching above while perched on the gate next to a struggling Soma.

Leah purses her lips in annoyance, not noticing the group of aggressive dogs approaching them. "It's alright."

Unlike the two on the ground, Soma does notice and tries to alert them, "Ciel! Leah!"

Finally glancing at the dogs that rapidly approach, baring their teeth, both Leah and Ciel stare in worry as the demon beside them radiates an odd energy. Discretely trying to place herself in front of her fiancé, Leah tries to use herself as a small shield to which Ciel holds a firm grip on her arm through his mittens, pushing her back to his side. But before their attempts to place each other in front of the other can be effective, the dogs seemingly walk away.

"Huh? The dogs are backing off?" Soma questions in surprise.

Sebastian smirks while Ciel beside him looks far from impressed, "Such cowardly dogs Lord West has raised."

"Yo, Earl!" Lau calls out, swinging a group of keys on a stick while an unconscious man lays behind him along with a door. "Look over here! Over here!"

Staring at the Chinese man in shock, everyone examines his calm demeanor.

"Aw come on now, I just put them to sleep it's not like they are dead!" A smile leaves Lau while he wags his finger.

"So what," Ciel releases a breath into his mitten, grabbing Leah with his free hand to make her follow. "Let's get a move on."

Escaping the cold, the group files into the building, Sebastian leading the way. As they enter, they notice a lack of guards but still try to be discreet, despite Leah's shoes making small click sounds against the floor.

"No guards inside?"

"I can hear two people," The demon butler hardly has to glance around before his eyes fall upon the stairs. "Let's go."

Venturing up the stairs and through the halls, they slowly get closer to the source of the voices.

"You did a good job."

Leah holds her breath to take her lightest steps, trying not to make noise with her heels or whine at the deer head mounted on the wall.

"Why give me that expressionless face?"

The group slowly peers into the open door, nearly stacked on top of each other to get a look. Leah and Ciel stay the lowest to the ground, their winter coats brushing against each other. Sebastian is slightly higher than them with Soma using him to lean against, Lau at the top but with the worst view inside the room, instead opting to listen the best he can.

"Take a cigar and loosen up a bit, alright?"

Inside the room are two plush lounge chairs, the longer one seating a disgruntled Agni as Harold waltzes around the room, a newspaper in hand.

"These are grade A Havana cigars. I got these babies from James Fox, he has a royal warrant," Harold seemingly flexes the lit cigar in his left hand, ignoring how Agni chooses to be unresponsive to his words.

"Oh well, it's your problem." Harold swivels on his feet, "Everything is going as planned. In one week it will all be decided." he leans down to take ahold of Agni's bandaged hand, "Only with this 'right hand of God' will I realize my dream."

The group stares at the display, Leah attempting to stay interested in the boring conversation.

Harold inhales another puff from his cigar, "I've been planning this for three years. So I'll definitely complete it."

"And if I accomplish this," Agni starts with a hesitant look. "Mina will—"

Everyone's looks heighten at the mention of Mina, only for it to be destroyed by Soma who bursts through the door. The Indian prince finds it hard to contain his anger as he sharply glares at Harold and Agni, who are more than surprised at his sudden intrusion.

"You said Mina?!" Soma shouts.

"You fool!" Yells Ciel, both shocked and frustrated that Soma would interrupt when they were just about to be able to hear potentially viral information.

Approaching from behind the teenage aristocrats, Sebastian places a hand over Ciel's mouth and an arm around Leah, slowly pulling them away from the door. "Shh.. He would recognize our faces. Let's just wait for now." he whispers.

"He wouldn't recognize my face, I don't believe my father speaks to this man.." Leah tilts her head, finding no recollection of ever seeing Harold before.

Ciel glances at Leah from the corner of his eye. "Your father is well known and you look a decent portion like him. Even if he doesn't immediately recognize you, it's still a risk." The young earl harshly whispers, earning an annoyed hum from his fiancé.

Shifting his attention back to the room, Soma currently holds a tight grip on Agni's shirt. "Agni! What's going on? You know where Mina is?!" Soma shouts.

"Ah, so this is your master? Agni?" Harold smirks.

"You.." Soma slowly turns his head to glare at Harold, "You were the one who kidnapped Mina?! Agni!" he lifts an arm to point at him. "Beat this guy!"

Behind his prince, Agni wears a conflicted expression with clenched teeth, balling his fists but making no move to obey Soma's orders.

"Agni! What are you waiting for?!" Soma yells, bringing his pointing hand down.

Lifting his arm, Harold nonchalantly points at Soma, cigar in hand. "Agni. Throw out this fussy prince."

"Huh?" Soma stares in shock. "Can't you hear me?" He tries to speak to Agni.

"It seems they are starting to argue.." Sebastian says monotonously, still peering into the room while Ciel, Leah, and Lau appear more disinterested.

"Well, back to what we were talking about before.. it seems Lord West is involved," Ciel shifts his eyes to watch Leah playing with one of the pom poms attached to her coat. "It also seems that this has something to do with the black market."

Lau smirks and rests his head on his hand, squatting on the floor, "So then this is in the Earl's jurisdiction. Since the black market is involved."

"Indeed," The Phantomhive glares in annoyance. "Reporting this to the yard could be problematic. Perhaps we should just go home now.. That would be nice but I have another idea. I want to watch West for a while longer. This time I will save that foolish prince."

"But won't he recognize you?" Sebastian tilts his head.

"Yes."

"Leave it to me. I have a good idea."

Discreetly moving from his spot beside the door, Sebastian takes the mounted deer's head from the wall and places it over his head. This behavior doesn't impress the aristocrats but they decide not to question it, placing trust in the butler as he stands on the sidelines and waits for a chance to intervene.

"Is this really what I'm losing sleep for? How boring.." Leah whines, pouting her lips.

A quirked brow appears on Ciel's face as he side-eyes his betrothed, "No one told you to come along. You invited yourself." he mumbles.

Turning her head to look at his deep blue eyes with her dull ones, the young Barrett glares. "Oh. So that's how it's going to be, Phantomhive?"

"Phantomhive? Going back to informal formalities? Is Daniel possessing you?" Ciel stares at Leah incredulously, noticing the shift in her tone.

"If that's how you want to be, then yes!" With a huff, Leah turns her kneeling body away from Ciel's.

Lau chuckles watching the exchange, marveling at the earl's unimpressed look. "Now, now.. Don't argue little ones. You'll give us away." The Chinese man lightly scolds the pair.

"Little ones?!" Leah turns herself back around to stare at Lau in exasperation at his word choice, mouth nearly gaping at his audacity.

Before Leah has a chance to throw a fit at Lau, Ciel promptly shushes his fiancé by placing a hand over her mouth. Small muffled words leave the girl as Ciel shifts her closer so they can watch what's going down in the room, realizing Sebastian had a chance to intervene amidst their arguing.

"Who the heck is that?!" Harold shouts in disbelief like anyone would to seeing a deer head on top of a body wearing a suit.

Sebastian turns his uncanny accessory to Harold before bowing entirely, "I am a deer sent to collect the prince."

"Using a stuffed deer.. Good one, Mr. Butler," Lau stares up at the empty spot on the wall that was previously occupied by the deer head.

"How is it good?" Comes from Ciel, who doesn't agree with Lau's praise.

"I can't believe he's being serious about this.. It reminds me of Thomas. And I hate when Thomas pulls shenanigans like this," Leah is also one to complain about Sebastian's methods.

Harold stands taken aback, "This is probably one of the Prince's spies! Agni!—"

"No, I am just a deer to the core," Sebastian cuts in.

"Destroy him!" Harold shouts, pointing a sharp finger in the butler's direction.

Agni hesitates, "Destroy him? I can't.."

"Shut up! Do you want me to take back my promise? I order you to do this! Do it now!" Demands Harold.

For the most part, Agni is silent as he falls to his knees, clenched hands, and a lowered head, "My God.. I only wanted to serve him. This right hand I use only for his sake.." The Indian man continues, begging for forgiveness while removing the bandages from his hand.

Watching from outside the door, Leah and Ciel both seem surprised at the turn of events happening before them. They are also unable to take it seriously with Sebastian standing behind Soma, deer head still intact.

Turning her head towards her fiancé, Leah lets the hood of her winter coat slightly obscure her eyes. "Would now be a bad time to ask if you'll be attending my birthday celebration?"

"Your birthday isn't for another few months, why are you asking now?" Ciel's brows knit together.

"My father was talking about it and I said I want to be like a princess and he took my words seriously so now he's planning in advance.. If you are going I would suggest preparing your best attire," Leah purses her lips, recalling Lucius ferociously making plans in his study.

The young earl fights back a groan, "Your father spoils you a bit much." Ciel treads lightly with his word choice, careful not to set the girl off.

"Are you saying you won't spoil me when we marry?" Leah pouts teasingly, knowing fully well that she is naturally spoiled due to her position in society.

A heavy flush makes its way over Ciel's cheeks, "That's not what I'm saying! It's just—"

Hardly having any time to finish his sentence, Ciel is cut off by Lau abruptly grabbing Leah and lifting her up to carry her, earning a small noise of surprise but no further complaints from the girl. It isn't until now that Ciel realizes the loud crashes in the room are becoming too frequent, along with yelling, but most come from Harold screaming over his items being destroyed.

"It seems things are getting a bit wild, we should leave Earl," Lau says, walking away as he holds Leah with ease while dragging Ciel with another arm.

"Wait! A commotion this big is going to attract attention! You need to bring him out also!" Shouts Ciel, making sure Sebastian can hear him as he's dragged off by Lau.

Hoisting Soma over his shoulder, Sebastian nods under the deer's head, "As you wish." With that, he goes out the window with a loud crash.

— ౨ৎ —

"It was incredible.." Lau marvels, thinking back to Agni's sheer power.

After the abrupt exit the group made, they are now safely back at the house and out of the cold, adorning more comfortable clothes. Leah in particular sits with her back to the fireplace, choosing not to acknowledge the deer head that now sits atop it.

"He was beyond human."

"It's called samadhi," Soma sits with crossed legs, an irritated look painting his face. "Anyone with it has that power."

Ciel looks up at Sebastian with confusion, an expectant expression. "Samadhi?"

"It's to do with their religion. It's like entering a type of trance, isn't it?" Sebastian starts. "Humans are strange creatures. Their blind belief that they call strong faith can call out enormous strength from within. The Vikings of the past called upon Odin. The holy knights and the crusaders fought in the name of Yahweh."

Sebastian hardly stops to take a breath, "For Agni, his belief in his one true god Soma allows him to use such a power. Something we could never obtain, bred from love and belief. The power of faith."

The young earl's expression is unimpressed while Sebastian smirks, choosing to look at his fiancé who also doesn't seem to care much for the current topic.

"Then tell me why did he betray me," Soma looks down before swiping his arms to clear the china off of the table in a fit of rage. "How did he leave me behind so easily?!"

Ciel stands from his seat to dodge the flying items thrown in his general direction, "You.."

"Why?! Why is it that everyone around me vanishes?! Why?!" Soma shouts.

"Well if you act like that—" Leah starts before being interrupted.

"Leah Barrett!" Anna appears in the doorway, ready to scold the young girl. "What are you doing up at such an hour?! I have been waiting for you to get you ready to retire."

In her seat, Leah's body tenses as she forces on a tight-lipped smile, staring at Ciel for help. "We just went for a little outing.." she tries to justify, "It's not like I have a bedtime, I'm not hurting anyone."

"Hurting anyone or not doesn't matter. Walk yourself to bed right now before I make sure Lord Barrett hears about this," Anna scolds, walking off to Leah's room to make sure everything is in order.

The young girl lets out a sigh, reluctant to listen to the maid but does so to not risk hearing any more of it from her father. Lifting herself from her chair, Leah moves around Lau's chair to lean down and hug Ciel tightly.

"I had fun!" She smiles, ignoring the heat radiating from her fiancé's face. "Goodnight everyone.."

A faint chorus of goodnight's streams as Leah retreats from the room, leaving an empty seat.

— ౨ৎ —

In the days that follow, Sebastian works hard to try and cultivate a curry that can rival Agni's. It's hard and tedious with Soma's judgment but the demon tries what he can, set on winning to obtain the royal warrant.

"How's it going?" Ciel leans on a cane as he enters the room, Leah attached to his arm with Lau walking behind them.

"Young Master, you shouldn't come down here right now.." Sebastian advises, watching Ciel, Leah, and a kneeling Finnian use their fingers to taste the curry.

Leah squints her eyes at the flavor, "I don't know how much more curry I can handle tasting.. Do find a good recipe soon."

"Three days until the contest," Ciel retracts his tongue. "It looks like you're researching very hard."

Both aristocrats seem finished, walking off towards the door, but not before Leah can give Finnian a kind smile goodbye.

"Oh by the way, for today's dessert I'd like to have gateau chocolat," Ciel says, letting Leah leave the room first. "Bring it to me later."

Walking out of the room with a smirk, Ciel and Leah both set down the hallway with Lau following their footsteps.

"You act as if you want your butler to lose," Lau lifts a hand to his chin.

"Impossible. But instead of getting the royal warrant, don't you think it would be more interesting to see that butler lose?" Turning his head around, Ciel continues to walk while flashing the Chinese man an amused smile.

Shrugging, Lau releases a breath. "The Earl is sparkling~ What a bully."

"Silence," Ciel tries to shush him.

"You love making Sebastian's life harder in the way I love making Thomas' life harder!" A bright smile comes from Leah, shining eyes as she sticks close to her fiancé.

Raising an eyebrow, Lau watches the pair in front of him as they walk.

"What a perfect pair you are."

#ciel phantomhive #fanfic #black butler x reader #female oc #oc #black butler #sebastian michaelis #lau black butler #prince soma #agni black butler

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