I’m not exaggerating when I say this post changed my life. Seeing this as a terrified self hating 17 year old was like finding a fresh water lake in the middle of the Sahara.
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I'm watching a video essay about a game ive been interested in playing. The creator of the video, who has crossdressed multiple times, makes a "women arent funny" joke, and i suddenly realize ive never witnessed him acknowledge a woman in an uplifting way before.
I'm on a dating app for lgbt+ people. I've stated multiple times on my profile that i would rather lose an arm than recieve nudes without consent. I will be sent five dick pics for every 2 people i talk to that night.
I'm talking with my dad, who informs me he's been trying his best to learn about trans issues. He says the same things steven crowder brings up when trying to ridicule trans people. I gently but firmly correct my father and get told that ive been fed propaganda.
I'm on instagram, under the comments of a post ridiculing someone for being a misogynyst. Someone's left a comment saying "it must be hard being a woman on the internet" and i respond "it is." I will have every aspect of my appearance scrutinized as a reminder that no matter how well i pass, it will never be enough for someone with bad intentions.
I'm back on that dating app for lgbt+ people. I'm messaged by an attractive looking person, but i can see their partner prominently displayed in all but their main photo, oftentimes striking what im sure they thought was a very intimidating pose. Their bio says "looking for a third for our anniversary." I know that even if I did feel up to it, the gruff partner wouldnt approve of me because i don't pass.
I'm at a job interview for a clothing store. I tell the gracefully-dressed woman interviewing me that ever since i began my transition, i've discovered an interest in fashion, and that this job would allow me to dip my toes into the industry in a safe way. I'm told that i've reduced womanhood to a stereotype, and i can tell by her tone that i lost any chance at the job the minute she realized i was trans.
I'm at the same hospital i got facial feminization surgery in, trying to figure out what's wrong with my bowels. When the person behind the desk gives me a wristband with my patient info on it, i notice a single, lonely, letter M. I ask a nurse in private why it would say that despite me having changed it nearly a year prior. They say they have no clue, and bring in paperwork for me to fill out and have it re-changed again.
I'm living with my mom at the time. I'm new to transitioning, and decide to try my hand at voice training. It feels a bit off, but otherwise im feeling neutral toward the whole thing. I try speaking in this new voice to my mom and she laughs. Now, when people ask if i intend to voice train, i find speaking at all difficult for minutes after.
I didnt have some sort of grand message to convey by this. I just had a thought and then that thought spiralled into whatever the hell this became. Some, okay most, might call it complaining; they are right to do so.
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‘DON’T TALK TO THE MEDIA ABOUT DIY HRT’
prints available here
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why have us queer people as a community normalized terms like "boygirl" or "girlboy" or other things like that but not like. the actual experience of being multigender. i swear some people will be like "ahaha its so cool and swag to be a #girlboy #boygirl" then turn around and be like "MEN DNI THIS POST IS ABOUT WOMEN" "MEN CANT BE LESBIANS (because no man is ever a woman too)" etc etc like come on guys
EDIT: i added an entire rant about this here
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Happy Trans Day Of Visibility, and happy one year to my trans flag scarf!
I didn't quite get in 365 rows, but I wasn't strictly aiming for it. Much like transition itself, knitting is best done by your own choice, at your own pace and for your own joy.
Also much like my own transition, looking back over the incremental progress I've made on this project brings me a deep satisfaction. I don't have many bold and meaningful items to wear, but when this is done I hope I get to wear it often. As the tides of pride turn back from celebration to protest, I trust this scarf will serve me well.
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♡LOVERBOY♡
my february patreon print!! this is a men’s tits loving household <3
[Image ID: A digital illustration of a trans masculine person, done in dark red line art. He has a shaved head, and is holding a small stem of flowers. He’s nude and doesn’t have top surgery. The person is framed by a large curved stem of the same bleeding heart flowers. The background is a light neutral pink, and there are small white stars around the figure. /.End ID]
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