#noooo i didn't say this

[adharastarlight]

Lily: you ate an entire melon in one sitting!?

Marls: yeah but its like a small melon

Dorcas: is it though, is it really!?

Marls: well i mean, i reckon my boobs would fit in the like halves so yeah

Dorcas: WHY WOULD YOU PUT YOUR BOOBS IN A MELON!?!

Marls: i wouldn't, im just saying!!! i could!!!

Lilly: anything but the metric system, huh marls?

[lindamarieansonsnaps]

[thebearme]

decided to draw sum suff for my fem fortress sims game

[sorcerersandskillusers]

Every time I see a "Oda never really understood Dazai" take

[unabashedmoonlight]

Oh, Viktor Hargreeves, play Les caquets some more.

[random-human-being2311]

just finished Planet Of Fire part 2 and although I'm not as hopelessly sad at being close running out of turlough and 5 episodes as I was with 2, jamie and zoe it's started to hit me how I actually adore these characters and don't want to say goodbye to them. I'm not ready.

I mean, I saw Resurrection Of The Daleks earlier this afternoon and now I'm just spending the whole time watching peri in this serial going "pathetic. hopeless. tegan would never. #notmycompanion" because tegan is absolutely iconic and she's been there since goddamn Logopolis in season 18 and it's just plain weird not having her around anymore. Sorry peri but you haven't immediately caught my attention like tegan did

agghhh classic who really hitting you with the anticipation of having to say goodbye because you know what's coming next. With nuwho you don't know what's coming which is good for some other reasons but omfg the anticipation of knowing exactly when and how a companion departs from fandom osmosis and just watching you edge closer and closer and love the character more and more omfg it's PAIN and I'd never have it any other way.

Like when I was watching season 19 and the amazing shit like adric spend the whole dance just getting food in Black Orchid. And I was just like "omg just like me fr iconic i love it". And then it hit me that he's going to be blown up in a few episodes. He's going to fucking die.

[strangeswift]

fine i'll say it. i like the idea of buff byers in college. okay well. no. i don't want him to be like Ripped because that would indeed be ooc for him to dedicate that much time to being in shape. but i like the idea of him having some muscle so he can pick mike up and carry him around ok? is that a crime. is it a crime to want mike wheeler to be carried around like the princess that he is? ..mike wheeler needs to know.

[originalitysquared]

When people try to insult your mom to upset you but your mom is genuinely an awful person:

[djsangos]

You can barely fucking think straight.

Horde of Salmonid after horde of Salmonid comes swarming down every alleyway as your splatoon, along with the Grizzco crowd, fights beak and tentacle to protect Splatsville and evacuate civilians to Inkopolis.

“I didn’t even know Grizzco was still operating,” you’d said as the lot of you were gearing up to hold the line at Barnacle & Dime. “Didn’t the rookie and Octavio fucking kill the CEO?”

“Someone else must have taken over,” Eight had mused, strapping on her ink tank. “I guess we’re lucky that we’re not taking this on by oursel—”

“Guys! Captain!” Four came careening in, one boot on his foot and the other in his hand. “They’re in the city proper! Headed to the plaza!”

“Shit!”

It’s a lot easier to get separated from your agents than you thought it’d be, dispersed by the waves of Salmonids and the Grizzco employees fighting for their lives and the city alongside you, and you find yourself back-to-back with one of those strangers now, fending off a group of Salmonids trying to surround the two of you.

A strange, high-pitched noise emanates from the ground beneath you. You both look down, spotting a bobber, and you’re dragging them away by the arm through an opening in the swarm before they can even finish shouting “Maws!” They drop a bomb as you drag them off, and a large Salmonid emerges from the ink, swallows the bomb, and explodes, taking a couple of the smaller Salmonids out with it in the resulting ink splatter and leaving a handful of golden Salmonid eggs in its place.

“Too bad we didn’t have enough time to grab an egg basket,” the Inkling you just dragged out of the Maws’… maws mutters darkly, taking shots at the surviving Salmonids straggling after the two of you as you yourself throw a splat bomb into the swarm, taking a few more out.

“Captain!” comes from behind you, and you can’t risk turning around to look, but you hear the sound of someone emerging from ink, and what you now definitely recognize as the rookie’s voice, tight and without their usual sardonic humor. “That oughta be the last of the evacuees, they’re all on the train headed for Inkopolis.”

“Thank cod,” you say, then add, “stay close. Both of you.”

“Aye aye?” your new companion says, bemused.

The three of you swim in unison, yourself taking the lead, to the nearest swarmed alleyway, shooting from the entrance at the Salmonids trying to spill out into the plaza. Where the hell are they coming from?

“Anyone got Reeflsider?” you ask, using your right crutch for support and shooting with your left, formulating a plan on the fly.

Your companion shakes their head, lobs a bomb at the swarm growing closer. “I got Kraken. One left.”

That can work too. “Get it charged, go in, we’ll follow you.” With enough of them clumped together, you can use a Splashdown to take out almost the whole group at once.

As they get ready to charge in with their Kraken Royale, you just can’t help but wonder for a moment.

Why’re they attacking the city with this much force? What do they want? Is killing them the right call? How can you keep this from ever happening again?

Is this how the Octarians felt when you invaded Octo Valley? Did they ask the same questions?

“Let’s go, Captain!” Rookie calls, pulling you from your thoughts. Focus, asshole. Now’s not the time for a guilty conscience.

Your new companion takes the lead, crushing many of the Salmonids in their path and pushing back those that aren’t immediately killed. You and the rookie dive into the ink they leave in their wake, rushing forward to meet them at the other end of the alley, where their special ends.

The alley opens up onto a wider road running perpendicular to it, and holy shit, there’s a lot of Salmonids here. Definitely more than one Splashdown can take out, but in splatting a couple more Chums, your special is ready to go, and it only takes a quick look shared with the rookie, whose hair is similarly flared with a fully-charged special, for them to know exactly what you’re thinking.

Running into the horde closest to you, spacing yourselves just so to maximize splattage, and the rookie shouts “SPLASHDOWN!”

If you both had Triple Splashdowns, the carnage would be a sight to fucking behold, but as it stands, your makeshift Double Splashdown still goes pretty hard, and the two of you take out practically the whole group that had met you at the alley’s exit, save for the stragglers outside the radius.

You stumble as you right yourself, leaning heavily on your crutches, breathing hard. Cod, your body fucking hurts.

“You good, Cap?” You hadn’t even noticed the rookie approaching you, but you wordlessly nod all the same.

“Just need a second.” You’d like to take a minute at least, but you don’t have that kind of time. This shit’s far from over, and you don’t even need to look to know more Salmonids are already approaching.

When this is all over, you’re gonna need to check in with the rookie about how they feel about all this- they definitely can’t feel good about tearing through their Lil’ Buddy’s own kind, at least.

“Great teamwork, guys,” says your companion, running up to the two of you. A distinct stinging sound rings through the air, and what looks like a Stingray made of horrifically filthy water cuts through the air. “We’ve gotta move! Everyone good?”

You glance at the rookie, who gives a thumbs up, then nod again. “Stinger, right?”

“There’s a Steel Eel headed this way, too,” they say. Steel Eel… You think you remember what those are from your brief skim of the Salmonid Field Guide, smaller Salmonids steering a giant water-spouting machine of death.

“We deal with the Stinger first,” you say. Best to get the immediate threat out of the way. “Don’t get separated.”

“Yeah, okay, boss,” they lightly scoff, but follow your lead anyway, fighting your way through the horde to follow the Stinger ray to its source. Between the three of you, it’s trivial enough to take out, and again it leaves nothing but a splatter of ink and three golden eggs.

“What a waste,” Rookie says, eyeing the eggs with a look and tone you can’t read. “Where’s the Steel Eel?”

“It’s that—” the stranger turns and points, then stops. “—it’s gone.”

The three of you swim in the direction they pointed out, and there’s someone else swimming up to you. Emerging from the ink all at once-- it’s Callie!

“Oh my cod! Captain! Agent Three!” she calls. “You’re okay!”

“Is that fucking Callie Cuttlefish?” your companion exclaims.

“Agent One,” you say, “are you okay?”

“Where’re the others?” adds the rookie.

“I’m okay. They’re-- hang on.” She weaves past the three of you and flicks her roller aggressively at yet more Salmonids coming to break up your reunion. “Let’s clear up the road first!”

The four of you make quick work of the rest of the Salmonids in this section of road, and soon enough the flood turns into a trickle into nothing, for now.

“Whew!” Callie breathes, leaning on her roller and wiping invisible sweat from her forehead. “Anyway, last I saw Agent Eight and Agent Four, they were fighting in the plaza, and Agent Two was on the train helping with the evacuation. She’s probably back in Inkopolis right now, giving a tentacle with first aid. And Gramps is way out of the way, he’ll be okay,” she adds, almost as an afterthought.

“They’ll be okay together, right?” says the rookie.

“We should still meet back up with them,” you say between deep, slow breaths. “Strength in numbers.”

The stranger takes a deep breath of their own, then shouts, “Okay, just who the hell are you people!?”

“Huh?” says Callie, seeming to finally, actually realize the presence of a stranger in your midst. She adds to you, “New friend of yours?” You just shrug in response.

“I mean,” they continue, “you guys have weird titles, Callie fucking Cuttlefish is here, and you’re clearly not with Grizzco. So what’s your deal?”

“We’re here to help,” Rookie says. “Splatsville’s my home too, I’m not gonna let it fall. Even if…” they trail off.

“Gahhh,” the stranger groans, bringing a hand up to their head. “This situation is so fucked we have some kind of secret militia stepping in to save the day. My sister’s not gonna believe me when I tell her about this! I must be going crazy!”

“Can we save it?” you say. “We’ve got bigger fish to fry.” Rookie gives you a look. “Poor choice of words, my bad.”

“We get the gist, Captain!” says Callie. “Let’s head back to the plaza while the coast is clear.”

“Gah,” repeats your companion, “Fine.”

When you get back to the plaza proper, your gaze almost immediately locks onto your two missing agents, Four throwing a bomb at a Flyfish and Eight taking on a group of Salmonids trying to stop the two of them from taking out the Flyfish. You motion to the others the direction you’re going, and ink a path to swim over, popping up beside Eight to help in the fending off just as you hear the final bomb in the Flyfish explode and see the other four exit the ink after you.

“There you are!” Eight exclaims. “We were getting worried.”

“We had it under control,” you say. “Glad you guys have it handled here, too.”

Between the now six of you, this group of Salmonids never had a chance.

Eventually, the waves and waves of Salmonids seem to clear, and everyone, Squidbeak and Grizzco, is heading towards the center to regroup and recuperate, when a horn sounds, and shouts start to ring out among the Grizzco groups.

Oh, shit.

“It’s the Triumvirate!” someone shrieks.

“I thought they stopped them at Undertow!” shouts another.

Oh, shit.

[tenok]

.

[lumpsbumpsandwhumps]

U know its bad when between a Robber and a Cop the better option Is asking the Robber for help.

He'd love any excuse to raise hell and torment a cop let's be real

[britneyshakespeare]

re: my last long personal post about the day i had at work today

i'm sorry like i just can't get over it, i can't get over it. i am not there to be ogled, i am not there to be objectified. i'm not there to be a petting zoo or a table. i'm not there for any of it. i feel different enough at work for my age and position.

i'm VERY aware little boys have crushes on me. every now and then, one of them makes it very obvious. it's seriously nothing to me, because it's always been respectful. kids have crushes on adults, especially young ones. but i have no more intention of being a seductress than i would if i were fifty and married. i just so happen to be 25 and single. oh well. i am equally disinterested, and would like to be presumed as equally disinterest-ing. if i get a little unfair halo effect sometimes, i don't care.

it has literally never been so sexual in nature before. it has never been so much about my body, my legs. i worry about the reaction to this being dampened by the effect of the other adults around me seeing that and being like, well, yeah, if he's gonna be interested in anyone's legs, it'll be hers. i feel embarrassed calling attention to the fact that a kid is attracted to me. it has always, always been a non-issue before this. it has always been innocent and respectful of my role as the adult.

i wanna say i don't worry about this happening again, because it is a first. it is a first for me in four years, with dozens if not hundreds of kids, that i've been treated so inappropriately by a child. i worry about this being seen as more natural because it happened to me. but it's not natural just because it happened to me. i'm the teacher that a lot of kids have little crushes on, whatever. i'm not the teacher kids get to pinch and gawk at; that's never happened.

if this happened to me and i were fifty and married, would it be more scandalous? would i just, perhaps, not be believed? i don't know. i don't know. i keep going down these thought spirals of why me. what is the reaction people have to it being me? because while the few people who saw/heard about this seemed not to condone it, they don't seem shocked either. but it hurts, it does, because i'm shocked. that it happened to me. it's like i don't really know if people can put themselves in my shoes more than they can put themselves in his.

a young woman being treated at her place of work as a piece of meat is offensive, but it's everyday. it's banal. a teenage boy having a preoccupation with an adult woman that he can't see as fully human also so normalized. it just feels like an unempathetic view for me is all i can expect. when i already experienced this alone. AND i have to be the one to take responsibility and make others aware about it. because it's not like he was going to... somebody had to. and oh, look, i'm the adult. that makes me somebody.

like i don't even want him to be "punished" per se. i just want to be assured that steps will be taken to stop him from objectifying more women and girls in the future. holy shit, WHAT if he does this to a girl his age? would he? i don't know. i don't know the kid well. i have an idea of why he targeted me, but i don't know what he wouldn't do to someone who was more of his equal. i can't speak for or predict that.

it's just fucking humiliating. hi yeah i'm the substitute from friday. yeah i'm the one he couldn't keep his hands off of. cuz i dared to wear a skirt. yeah, same skirt i've worn to work with kids a bajillion times in the past four years. yeah i guess i was just so seductive. like give me a break; i don't want to receive any more attention for this but it just feels like i'm gonna. i don't know what kind of response i'm going to get to the email i wrote the regular para.

i don't know if i'm gonna have to elaborate further. i feel like i shouldn't have to. i gave her all the details somewhat unemotionally; it just stings the more and more since i got out of work. like i just can't believe that really happened. and the shock was dulled while it was happening, because i didn't believe it was happening. the more hours go by the more i'm like, well, yeah, i did the right thing: escaping that situation as promptly as i could, telling another adult, and emailing the permanent teacher about it.

i keep wanting to act unaffected by it. but i'm just so offended and dismayed. i also feel powerless, because i couldn't be the one to get him to stop. something about my presence to him was an invitation to treat me that way, and my not being amused did not deter him. it feels like the interpretation he had of me was not at all in my control. he wanted to view me as an object, and so i was one in his eyes. the other teachers can scold him for that, make him feel bad for that, but i can't. i'm not really the authority. i'm just the pretty one.

[lord-squiggletits]

I think one of my least favorite takes on Optimus annexing Earth is the surprisingly common opinion "he should've just left Earth alone and minded his own business because they didn't ask for help," not because it doesn't have truth in it but because it's a massive oversimplification of the whole situation and seems to pretend that Optimus annexing Earth was just completely stupid and had no reasoning whatsoever.

Like, it just bothers me when people talk about it as if Optimus leaving Earth alone would've been the not-bad-guy thing to do despite the fact that the Decepticons were literally about to try colonizing Earth again under the command of a guy who was literally from the Golden Age generation that made colonizing and genociding organics popular, Galvatron. I mean Galvatron was literally there saying "so when are we going to kill these fleshlings" and even being a Functionist asshole to Soundwave's cassettes. The last time the Decepticons invaded Earth in All Hail Megatron they killed literally a billion human beings. Are there seriously people in this fandom that are out there believing with their whole ass that "Optimus should've just ignored the openly genocidal Decepticons returning to a place they had already tried to colonize just a few years ago because it's none of his business and the humans can handle themselves" like what.

[letterstotheflre]

ngl if i were one of the alexandrians i'd hate rick. this guy comes in here and thinks he's the boss and can tell me what to do after 2 days, risks my life and the lives of my family and friends for a silly little plan he came up with and then ends up being the sole cause for the destruction of the community?? yeah i'd probably try to shoot him at least once

[cistematicchaos]

🫤 Mh. Not sure what to think of the fact I know my therapist has read all the notes my psyciatrist made about me, including the fact I’m trans and what my pronouns are(we’ve even discussed it) and then today she misgendered me to my face. Huh. 

I had to play it back to actually convince myself I wasn’t mishearing and then I spent a bit trying to convince myself maybe she just didn’t know until I remembered we’ve LITERALLY TALKED ABOUT MY GENDER AND PRONOUNS. I know this is one of those situations where I’m going to have to walk her through the fact my pronouns are not optional little extras she can pick or choose whether to use but sjasflesahse I guess I was just hoping I wouldn’t HAVE to do that. But nope. I guess not. 😮‍💨

[softpadawan]

Merman Ezra but with his shorter buzz haircut.

Why do you hate me, anon? 😭