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#not DID
bbeeew · 5 months
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Me trying to explain how I'm one person but mentally it's me and my brain and our pet worm (of which wiggles into the wires and messes with us) piloting the same bone mech
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inchplant · 3 months
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Sometimes I feel like someone else is controlling what I post here
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forgettable-dumbass · 7 months
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Sometimes I almost lose myself in a character I like, but I bounce back eventually
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maybehesitate · 1 year
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Weird thing I do
I told this to a friend a little while ago and they said it’s not normal so I figured I’d tell tumblr and see what they think.
I see my body, my brain and me as 3 different ‘people’ if that makes sense, and they all control different parts.
I am my conscious thoughts and actions, I Am everything I’m doing. brain is my subconscious, my symptoms. and my body is my instincts
my Brain controls things like motivation, adhd paralysis, hyper-fixation and intrusive thoughts (as well as telling my body how to regulate hormones and Brain chemicals, for example my brain tells my body to make to much insulin when I eat something sugary)
my brain is in charge of long term memory and deciding what goes there and what doesn’t, it also decides how much dopamine my body gives with certain tasks, it controls everything subconscious that I cannot change.
my body is more like a vessel shared between me and my brain, I tell it what to do, where to go and how to behave but my brain decides when my heart beats, when I start stimming for no reason and it controls the chemicals my body creates under certain circumstances.
I am my conscious thoughts, my deliberate actions, I am what interacts with everything, my thoughts and feeling are my own I decide when to move, when to speak, (though sometimes my brain cuts me off and doesn’t let me (mainly when panicking or during confrontation))
It’s like two separate people in different rooms trying to pilot a mech, but they can’t talk to eachother, just learn off eachothers actions and often times have conflicting ideas on what the mech should do. sometimes my brain will decide it doesn’t want to do anything today and thus will cut off the fuel tank (dopamine supply) limiting my ability to get the mech (the body) to do the things it needs to do.
In my eyes, my brain and I are two separate things that often times don’t get along very well.
sometimes I can give my brain things that’ll get me the things I need, such as finding a song it likes and playing it on loop so it’ll give me the dopamine I need to do a task,
sometimes my brain starts making me subconsciously think bad thoughts, so I have to find a distraction to stop making it produce the bad chemicals
and sometimes none of that works and I just gotta power off (sleep) the mech (the body) and force it to go away until it’s ready to choose the chemicals we need to function properly.
TLDR:
I see me and my brain as separate entities trying to pilot a mech (my body) except we have no way of communicating what to do with it
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bunnidid-reviews · 2 years
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Hullo! One of your posts said you have dyslexia - have you tried the font "Open Dyslexic"? If not: it's free and you can get it for mobile devices, pcs and as a browser extension.
Oh thank you for the recommendation, I might try it out ^ ^ ~ I can read pretty well for the most part, most fonts with sans serif seem to work pretty well, I’m lucky its used all over the internet and in apps.
I depend on the logos of things being distinct and familiar(tumblrs logo change confused and miffed me for a bit), as well as their placement making sense to me. And their symbols making sense for what it is! I’m very picky about it, I’d actually rather have a split up list to read through when it comes to in-app features
Sorry for my rambles, I hope you don’t mind ^^; i think I might give this font thing a go, it sounds nice 💛 (bonus points if its cute too<3)
-bunny
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hellishqueer · 10 days
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we ask that the defense not say "me when i lie" while the witness testifies
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aquilaofarkham · 17 days
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every autistic person watching this episode of dungeon meshi:
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clandestinegardenias · 5 months
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My therapist just told me my problem is that I need to write more fanfiction.
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sunbentshadows · 2 months
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Hey all, you know how internet searches suck now? When the results are awful, full-of-AI, death-of-the-internet levels of bad?
Start appending date constraints to your searches - "before:2023".
My results have gone from 90% AI bullshit to ~60% usable - which frankly at this point is a huge improvement.
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butchfalin · 6 months
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the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again
#yeehaw#1k#5k#10k#posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference#edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense#also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags#1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now#he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic#2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign#like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock#3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing#it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is#extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once#it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life#i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about#Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect#if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it#aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week
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diabloku · 3 months
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Lucifer: *enters the hotel*
Alastor: I cast vicious mockery 😈
An animation my sis and I made for fun
Music is Perception Check by Tom Cardy.
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bookwyrminspiration · 3 months
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god I would be UNSTOPPABLE if I was capable of consistently initiating tasks. just you wait. you'll be waiting a while but just you wait
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temporalteardrop · 3 months
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bass makes a dollar. i make a dime. that's why i think about lesbian sex on company time
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nothazellevesque · 3 months
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a man self immolated in front of the israeli embassy in washington dc yesterday. not just any man. an active member of the us air force. he live streamed his death, and said that he refused to be complicit in a genocide any longer. he said that compared to what palestinians were facing every day, setting himself alight was nothing.
let me reiterate. an active duty air force member burned himself alive because he was so disgusted by what the us government was openly supporting. he live-streamed his own suicide, so the whole world could bear witness as a man in his military uniform set himself on fire to protest his government’s complicity in the horrors that we have all been forced to watch happen in real time. he became a new horror. footage of the immolation blurs him out the moment the fire catches, but you can hear him. it is over in seconds, really, but you can hear him screaming. he shouts “free palestine” until his body physically cannot make any sounds other than guttural screams of agony. and then he falls silent. a police officer arrives and points a gun at his still burning body, shouting at him to get down on the ground. and it is over.
his name was Aaron Bushnell. he was twenty five years old. and he isn’t here anymore because the political ruling class has decided that genocide is perfectly fine as long as it preserves imperialism. in the coming days, people will try to discredit him. to say that he was mentally unstable. they will try to bury his actions to save face and defend israel’s propaganda. do not let them. aaron knew what he was doing. he knew what he was doing when he put on his military uniform, set up his twitch stream, and made his final walk up to the embassy. he knew what would happen to him when he flicked that lighter. do not let them forget. aaron’s blood is on the hands of the political ruling class.
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apollos-boyfriend · 18 days
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i was cuddling with my boyfriend last night when his shoulder started tensing up (like he was readjusting or gently pushing me off) and when i asked him if he was okay or needed me to move or something he went “no you’re fine, i was just imagining myself pulling a large rope. i didn’t even realize my shoulder was doing that lmao” then refused to elaborate and i have never been as attracted to him as i was in that moment.
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bananonbinary · 4 months
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"menstruation is punishment for original sin" is a fairly common doctrine (altho in my experience it's usually more implicit than just baldly stated like that)
anyway this implies that of all the animal kingdom, humans are not UNIQUE in sinning, but are joined by bats, the elephant shrew, and the spiny mouse species Acomys cahirinus. (according to my 5 seconds on wikipedia at least)
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