I've started the year by being ill and getting behind on video recordings, but one of my Patrons was a LIFESAVER and managed to remove the flicker from this video so that I could post it for you all!
The song is Perception Check, by the inimitable Tom Cardy
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Tom Cardy's Perception Check with Team RWBY, with Yang as the Bard & Ruby as the DM?
Yang: (Toots flute)
Ruby: On the horizon of this forest path, you see a group of dark cloaked figures slowly trudging towards you. What do you do?
Weiss: My aasimar paladin readies his greatsword and- (Rolls) That's a one.
Ruby: Critical fail. Blake, what do you do?
Blake: I believe in anticipation, my tabaxi rogue will find cover behind the closest- (Rolls) Okay, I rolled a one.
Ruby: Another critical fail. Yang, what does your human bard do?
Yang: (Toots flute) Active perception check. (Rolls)
Ruby: That's a natural 20.
Yang: Let's fucking go. (Puffs pipe)
I feel it in my fingers~
I feel it in my toes~
These motherfuckers mean to harm us~
AND THEY GOT TO GO~!
So come on get 'em now!
You picked the wrong day
To fuck around with my tight crew~
Oh~ Oh~
No escaping it~
I can perceive you~
Here's what we're gonna do~!
Yang: (Whistling wildly)
Me and my girls are gonna mess ya up~!
Blake: I rolled a one.
Weiss: I rolled a one.
FUCK~
My girls are otherwise engaged~
So I'm gonna bring it all myself- Hey!
Yang: I forgot. You're supposed to tell me what I see, right?
Ruby: Yes! Thank you! Let's just slow it all down a bit. So, you notice that one the figures is noticably shorter than the others-
YOU'RE A SHORT MOTHERFUCKER AND NOBODY LIKES YOU~!
Yang: (Aggressively alternates appendages) SHORT!
Everybody says, "Look how fucking short that guy is~!"
And that stops you from forming meaningful relationships~!
When you were born, everybody thought that you were just a head,
But then the doctor said, "Wait! This stupid motherfuckin' tiny short ass baby got a tiny little itty bitty body and I hate it~!"
Ruby: Your attack lands and absolutely SHATTERS the mind of the cloaked figure! Perception check, please!
Yang: Nat twenty, let's go~!
Ruby: You perceive that the figure was so short because it was a CHILD!
Yang: It's always a kid.
Ruby: Specifically, it was the child you've been looking for the past fifteen days game time and five days of our actual lives!
Yang: Okay, I'm sorry! I didn't know! I'll be better! (Groans) His body's just lying there, right?
Weiss: ...
Blake: ...
Ruby: ...
Yang: Right?
Ruby: ...Yes? ...DON'T.
LOOT THAT BODY~!
Loot that body now~!
LOOT THAT BODY~!
Loot that motherfucker~!
Playin' my flute when I loot that dead kid's body~!