#not even a whole year

[julesthoughts]

I posted 73 times in 2022

Das sind 73 more posts als 2021!

20 posts created (27%)

53 posts reblogged (73%)

Blogs I reblogged most:

@hacked-by-jake

@incorrectnessduskwood

@twxddle

@julesisreading

@raemae17

I tagged 33 of my posts in 2022

#personal – 11 posts

#ask – 11 posts

#duskwood – 11 posts

#thank you – 11 posts

#love – 8 posts

#julesisreading – 8 posts

#<333333333 – 6 posts

#duskwood everbyte – 6 posts

#duskwood fanfiction – 5 posts

#hacked-by-jake – 5 posts

Longest Tag: 43 characters

#i'll paint your nails as dark as my soul 😈

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Trap of Lies

Chapter 21

This is a dark AU collaboration started by @x3kristax3. You can find the other chapters here.

TW: Mentioning of Torture and Violence

MC POV

After ages, I was finally able to persuade Alan to leave his house. Of course, only with him, alone he would never let me go. His proximity drove me insane, and his constant advances got on my nerves. I kept telling him that I wasn't ready because of what had happened. He showed understanding, but still, it didn't stop him from trying again and again. It's been two weeks since I left Jake and honestly, I was hoping to get back to him as soon as possible. Back in his warm arms, look into his soft eyes and feel his soft lips on mine.

I shook my head slightly to break the train of thought. I couldn't think about Jake that much now, he was my weakness and weakness wasn't allowed right now. We went to the flower stand and as I was looking around, my favorite flowers caught my eye. I took a bundle and smelled them, a lump forming in my throat immediately. The memory of Jake watching me here back then came flooding back. He was a stranger and yet I felt drawn to him in a way. The corners of my mouth twitched up briefly, but I immediately put my face back to normal.

I swallowed the lump in my throat and put the flowers back as Alan wasn't going to buy them for me anyway. Alan had his back to me, and he was talking to someone, but I couldn't see who it was as he was completely hidden by Alan. I wanted to take a closer look, but suddenly I felt a gentle hand on my shoulder. I could already guess who it was, but I turned around to confirm my suspicion. In front of me was a red-haired beauty and I saw relief on her face. I put my arms around her, and she hugged me tightly to make sure I was really in front of her. I heard her sigh joyfully. The last time we saw each other was before I was kidnapped and held captive.

I wanted to detach myself from the hug, but Jessy wouldn't allow it. "MC, Jake told us everything. Everything. Would you explain to me why you are with him?” She whispered in my ear. The way she pronounced the word him sent chills down my spine.

I leaned closer to her ear and whispered, "I know what I have to do. Please be on standby, Jessy. You're the only one I trust completely." She loosened her grip, and I broke the hug. She put her hands on my cheeks and wiped my tears from my face with her thumbs. I didn't even realize that I started to cry. She gave me a compassionate smile.

"You can't let him see you cry. You can do it, I'll always have your back. You are so incredibly strong.” She took my hand while saying this.

Jessy looked so innocent and sweet, but when it came to her loved ones, she knew no bounds. When she cast her eyes on Alan, I saw pure hatred blazing in her irises. She hated this man like no other person in this world. I knew she would do anything to help me, and I was beyond grateful for that.

"Listen, I'll try to persuade him that I can meet you. I miss you and I could really use a girls day,” I sighed.

She knew that when I said girls' day, I didn't mean a normal girls' day. We wanted to catch up. I saw that Alan had finished his conversation and was approaching us. He put his arm around my waist. "Hello Jessica," he said cold as a stone.

Jessy rolled her eyes and I spoke to Alan, "Alan, I'd like to go with Jessy. She's on her way home and I haven't had a chance to meet her. I'd just like to have some girl time with her."

He took my chin in his fingers and looked deep into my eyes, scanning me. I sighed softly and my eyes softened, getting the answer I wanted. "Only if you promise to come back. I'm worried, you're not fully recovered."

He drove me crazy with his care. It was his fault that I felt so bad. Take a deep breath, MC! You have to pull yourself together if you want to reach your goal and get back to Jake. Since getting back together with Alan I've had serious problems controlling my temper. Knowing that I was pretending to love the man who put me through all the torture made me frustrated.

"Don't worry, I'm feeling pretty good today and besides, Jessy is with me,” I said shortly. I just couldn't speak long sentences with this man without losing my temper.

Out of the blue he took my face in his hands and kissed me firmly but sweetly on my lips. I kissed him back, I had to keep up my acting. I wanted this kiss to end, but Alan let the kiss deepen. What was the matter with him? I opened my eyes and saw that he was looking to the right. I followed his gaze and my heart shattered into a million pieces.

Jake stood there and his eyes were on us. He didn't even grimace, but there was pure pain in his eyes. His eyes made my heart clench painfully. Alan was really enjoying Jake's suffering and I broke the kiss abruptly. Alan glared at me, but I smiled sheepishly, "Alan, you know I'm not that fond of kissing in public." That was the truth, Jake respected my opinion and wouldn't kiss me in public.

Alan stroked my cheek, "Sorry, my feelings for you took over for a moment."

Fucking liar. I didn't understand what that was about, did he want to see Jake suffer? He didn't seem to realize I saw Jake and I took advantage of that. I kept acting the innocent woman in love with Alan. I said goodbye to Alan and when I turned around, I saw Jessy buying some flowers. She gave me a bunch of my favorite flowers and my eyes shone with joy, "Oh Jessy, that wasn't necessary. Thank you!"

On the way to the carriage, I saw Jake walking towards my father's trade business with his head bowed. He avoided my eye contact, and it broke my heart. I had broken his heart in the worst possible way. I began to have doubts as to whether he would even want me back once I had achieved my goal.

As we got into the carriage my lips started to tremble, Jessy already noticed from the outside of the carriage that I was watching Jake. She put her arm around me, and I let my head rest on her shoulder, exhausted.

"So, I'm waiting for an explanation. I know you know he was behind it all. Why are you with him?" She asked when the carriage took off.

I sighed shakily and tilted my head back. "You're right. I know it and I hate his every touch. Every time his lips touch mine it sends a shiver down my spine. But I have to go through this if I'm going to have a quiet life with Jake.” I pulled the ring out of my corset and held it in my hand, my eyes shining as I looked at it. “The question is if he even wants me back.” I spoke my thoughts out loud.

"Oh, my love, you still love him?” she asked happily. "Everyone thinks you don't love him anymore, including him. He needs to know that!"

"No!" I protested heatedly. "He mustn't be involved, do you hear me? And earlier he walked in the direction of my father's business. Something tells me that my father is helping him on the right path.”

Jessy shook her head, "Don't you want to give him at least a glimmer of hope?" She bit her lip, and I could tell immediately that she was holding back something. I ignored it.

"He doesn't need that, if I judge my parents correctly, they will have already given him hope. And if my assumption is right and my father really helps him to get back on the right path, then it would be more than wrong to involve him in it,” I said while bringing my head back to a normal position and avoiding Jessy's gaze.

See the full post

20 notes – Posted November 16, 2022

#4

I'm trying my hand at writing especially for Duskwood Fanfictions. I post Fanfictions on Wattpad and One-Shots here on Tumblr. I'm happy to take requests, if you have a request let me know. Mainly to Duskwood please. I hope you'll like my work. Enjoy!

Wattpad:

Duskwood Fanfictions:

Duskwood - Dark Secrets

Duskwood - Who are you?

Duskwood - Loving A Criminal

Duskwood - Choose or Lose (Sequel to Who are you?)

Duskwood - Dunkle Geheimnisse (German Version of Dark Secrets)

Duskwood - One Shots

Other Stories:

The Betrayal

Tumblr Works:

One-Shots:

Unexpected Reunion (Jake x MC)

Unexpected Reunion - Part Two (Jake x MC)

Unconditional Love (Jake x MC)

Revenge of the Rotten Tomatoes (Request)

You mean like a date? (Thomas x MC)

You are under arrest (Alan x MC)

Collaborations:

Trap of Lies ( Dark AU based in the 1700s)

Rules: No bullying — No rassism — Trigger warning for sensitive topics

25 notes – Postet Oktober 11, 2022

#3

Revenge of the Rotten Tomatoes

A/N: I was asked to turn one of my dreams into a short story. Thanks goes out to @hacked-by-jake Discord Server. The story is just bullshit my brain made up. Enjoy. :)

Words: 694

Requested from: @hacked-by-jake, @itsnotzka, @fem-moony, @julesisreading, @anabellerose96

TW: I don't now, Violence and fighting scenes. xD

I came home from work exhausted. I quickly changed and then went into the kitchen to make myself a sandwich. When I wanted to cut the tomatoes, I saw that they were already rotten, "Eww, no tomatoes today." I threw away the tomatoes and ate my sandwich. It was tasty, but the juicy tomato was missing. After I finished the sandwich, I quickly brushed my teeth and then watched some TV while I fell asleep on the couch.

I woke up early to the sound of loud banging noises. I went outside to see what was going on, the first thing I heard was panicked screams. I saw a young woman run past my house and get pierced by a green spike. She screamed, looked at me and asked for my help. I ran to her, and another green spike hit her. She kept running until she eventually fell down and stopped moving.

I wanted to run to her when a green spike grazed my arm. I turned around and couldn't believe what I saw there. I ran back into my house and opened the bin, my tomatoes! They were gone. Those out there were the tomatoes I threw away last night!

My cell phone rang, and I saw Jake's name on my display. I took the call, and I heard a panicked Jake, "MC! I hacked your laptop's camera, I saw the tomatoes leave your trash can and roll out of your house. We must do something. I'm on your doorstep, I have guns with me. Come out, we must save the world. And bring a trash bag!”

I saw that I had several notifications of breaking news that tomatoes were attacking the city. That was real! What have I done?! I hung up and stormed out the front door. He handed me one of his guns and stuffed the trash bag into his backpack. We ran out into the street and there were 6 tomatoes. They turned to us and let themselves roll towards us. Jake yelled, "Dodge!"

Why were they so big? No time to ask questions! Action is appropriate! I shot the first tomato and it popped but it healed on its own. I looked helplessly at Jake, and he shouted, "The stalks! Shoot the stalks!"

I shot the stalks and the first tomato popped and deflated like a burst balloon. The liquid spilled all over the street and I had some of its seeds stuck to my clothes. The other tomatoes got angry, and their green leaves turned into spikes and spun like a circular saw. A thousand green spikes flew at us like mad. I did an air roll and hid behind my house wall.

Jake shot one of the stalks of the tomatoes and the next tomato burst and its liquid ran like a river across the street. I did several air rolls until I was across the street and standing next to Jake. He pressed himself against the wall of the house and with one quick movement he shot the nearest stalk. "Three left," I stated, shooting for the next one.

I shot again and then again. My gun was empty, Jake nodded knowingly and fired at the last tomato. When the last tomato burst, we went to the place where the huge ones were before. There they were, my tomatoes from last night. In their original size and rottenness. Jake pulled the trash bag out of his backpack and held it open while I tossed the tomatoes into the trash bag. One of them tried to bite me, but I managed to throw it in the trash bag.

Jake tied the garbage bag shut and I stepped on the bag with all my might and crushed the tomatoes. We went home and showered after this adventure. In the evening we invited the others and we all sat together around a cozy campfire. I threw the tomatoes on the fire and let them burn there so nothing like this could ever happen again. We talked and laughed, but there was something we didn't know.

We forgot to throw away one tomato.

It was still out there...

34 notes – Posted November 20, 2022

#2

Unexpected Reunion - Part Two

A/N: I promised a second part and here it is. If you haven't read the first part, you can find it here.

Words: 2.429

TW: Sexual Content!

"I'm so incredibly sorry, MC," he said.

I got up abruptly but didn't turn around. I balled my hands into fists and hung my head while my lips trembled. My heart was racing, was it really him? I had never heard that voice in my entire life. Who else could it be, only he had a reason to be sorry. I turned around and two metallic blue eyes looked at me. His jet-black hair hung in his face, but it didn't seem to bother him. He was wearing a black hoodie with a leather jacket, his hood pulled low over his face. His hair was blowing in the wind, he was soaked from the rain just like me. How long had he followed me that he was so wet from the rain? My heart ached as he smiled. He had fooled me for four years. I didn't return his smile, I was too hurt. His smile faded and regret flashed in his eyes.

My vision blurred, I looked into his eyes and asked, "Jake?" He nodded and I saw tears forming in his eyes. He was about to say something, but I cut him off, angry. "So, you're telling me you've been alive for four years? And it didn't occur to you to leave me any sign of life? And if it's one of your fucking riddles with an encrypted message! You know I would have kept it to myself if you had asked me to! Shit, I'm standing here in front of your grave, but you're standing in front of me!"

He took a step toward me, but I backed off. He wanted to grab my hand, but I pulled it away. "Don't touch me," I hissed. He looked down, hurt, but I wasn't done with him. "Lilly dropped the bombshell and her parents got divorced! I was in touch with your mate, he was devastated! I was devastated! Hannah blames herself for your death! Lilly wanted so badly to meet her big brother, but you didn't let her! I blamed the others for your death! Jessy is still trying to reach me until today! Do you have any idea what kind of grief your death caused?! The whole group broke! Happy Hannah no longer exists! They've already lost Richy, they accepted you as a friend! I HATE YOU!"

Jake seemed to have had enough because he yelled back. "NO! Don't you dare say you hate me! Five minutes ago, you said something else! I looked after you for four damn years," he quieted down when he realized I was letting him talk. "Alan told the FBI you were in contact with me. They wanted to arrest you, shit you just wanted to help. I had to distract them from you somehow. When I found out that Hannah was safe, I knew I had to go. Yes, I almost died. They found the hoodie because I took it off because it was unbearably warm in the mine. I made it to the exit I told you about in time. I jumped at the chance when the FBI thought I was dead. I don't know how, but they figured out I survived. So, they tried to contact you. I hacked into your laptop and blocked all ways for them to reach you. The same game with your phone. After that, I drew their attention to me. I hacked into their database and left obvious traces. So, you were no longer their target, you could live freely."

I started crying, he had sacrificed his safety for me. "But you couldn't live freely anymore." He shook his head. "You were worth it to me and still are," he said shyly. "What do you mean still?" I asked shocked. "I'm still not safe, but I made a false lead. Don't be mad at me, but with Nym-Os I always had access to your phone and also your location. As I said before, I've watched over you for four years. Took care of you. Made sure you're safe. For the last three years I have always been here with you at the cemetery." He gulped hard and a tear ran down his cheek. "It was incredibly difficult for me not to run up to you and take you in my arms. I was constantly afraid that if I approached you, I would put you in danger. I had never managed to lay a false trail that lasted longer. Now I've finally managed to do it and I swore to myself to speak to you. To explain everything to you. I hated that you fell into deep depression because of me and my actions. I can understand if you want nothing more to do with me, but I wanted to explain everything to you. I'm so incredibly sorry."

I raised my arms to interrupt him. "Stop trying to get pity from me. Thank you for the explanation, but I will never be able to forgive you. I can't thank you enough for keeping me safe, but at the same time you broke me. I wish you the best of luck in your life, you deserve only the best despite your actions. Goodbye, Jake."

He let his hands hang down and just nodded. He looked down dejectedly as I turned away from him and left the cemetery. Shivering, I buttoned up my jacket and crossed my arms across my belly. I quickly ran back to the motel as it started to rain heavily. "Why did I leave my umbrella in the car," I cursed at myself. I could already see the motel and a relieved smile spread across my face. I was looking forward to getting into my warm motel room.

"MC!" someone shouted through the rain. No, he didn't actually follow me. I picked up my pace, my teeth chattering so cold I was. I've been in the rain in the cold for far too long. "MC!!"The voice was closer, my heart started racing. It was Jake, now I could definitely confirm it. I didn't know why, but my body decided to run. "Wait please! MC!" His voice broke my heart.

I kept running but strong arms pulled me back by my hand and he turned me around. "What do you want?" I yelled at him with tears in my eyes. He didn't say anything, he cupped my face in his hands and pulled me up to him. He leaned down slightly and pressed his lips firmly to mine. This contact triggered a firework of emotions in me. I didn't hesitate and wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him back. I couldn't suppress my feelings and smiled into the kiss. The kiss became feverish, we couldn't get enough of each other. The taste of his lips mixed with the rain and my salty tears.

He pushed himself against me and I backed up until I was stopped by a pillar. He pressed me firmly against the pillar and my breathing became shallower and I felt warm all of a sudden. His hands traveled up and down my waist and my hands found their way into his hair. I moaned softly as his hand slipped under my sweater. "Wait," I whispered into the kiss, pushing him slightly away from me. He looked at me in disappointment and I couldn't help but giggle. "Let's go inside, I prefer it private."

We walked into the motel and the receptionist just rolled her eyes and put her headphones back in. I pulled Jake by my hand until we got to my motel room. I turned to him, smiling, but he looked at me doubtfully. "Is something wrong?"

He shook his head, "No, but I'm sorry about what just happened down there. I didn't mean to force you into anything. I don't even know that about myself, that I'm so so so..."

I walked up to him with a genuine smile, "So wild and passionate?" He nodded silently, he continued to look at me doubtfully, but his eyes gave him away. Pure lust flashed in them. "Who says you forced me? If I remember correctly, I just returned your passion," I purred.

"I just don't want you to regret it. I want to prove to you that I really love you. I don't want you to think that I'm an asshole." Again, he looked depressed to the ground, only now do I see how sorry he was about all this. I walked up to him, cupped his chin in my fingers and looked lovingly into his eyes. "Prove it by giving yourself to me."

He didn't need to be told twice, shortly afterwards I felt his lips on mine again. I took off his leather jacket and he took off my jacket. We stumbled across the room until my legs reached the bed and he gave me a little push, so I fell onto the bed, back first. He immediately climbed onto me and slipped a leg between my legs, making me moan.

He kissed an imaginary line down my neck. When he got to the collar of my sweater he growled in frustration. He took off my sweater, I did the same and took off his hoodie. Our hands conquered each other's bodies, we didn't want to miss an inch. He kissed down on me, when he got to my waistband, he unbuttoned my jeans and slowly pulled them off me. His hands caress along my legs. He kissed my thighs, I looked down at him for a brief moment and our eyes met.

I caught my breath as I looked into his eyes, full of desire and admiration. A flash of joy shot through my whole body and the butterflies in my belly went crazy. When he pressed his lips to mine again, I helped him pull his jeans off. It wasn't long before we were lying completely naked on top of each other.

When he entered me, it was all over with me. I tilted my head back and dug my nails into his back. Every time he almost pulled out of me, I wanted to pull him back to me. Once he was fully inside me again, I didn't want to let him go. This feeling made me moan louder with each of his thrusts. I wrapped my legs around his waist and pulled him as close to me as possible. He brought us both to the climax and we lay on top of each other, breathing heavily.

He gave me a soft kiss and rolled off me to enclose me in his arms. My heart was beating way too fast, and I was on cloud nine. I gave him a quick kiss on his chest and inhaled his scent. His regular deep breathing made me fall into a deep sleep.

When I woke up the next morning, I was afraid to open my eyes. Afraid that Jake was gone or that it was all just a dream. But shortly afterwards I felt a hand on my cheek that gently stroked me. I couldn't help but grin and kissed his hand. "Don't stop touching me."

He kissed my forehead, and I slowly opened my eyes. There he lay looking at me lovingly with a big smile on his face. But his smile faded and so did mine. "You have to go back, don't you?" He nodded and I could see him trying to swallow the lump in his throat. I thought for a moment and then voiced my thoughts, "Take me with you."

"No, MC. That's too dangerous. I don't want to endanger you unnecessarily." I sat up abruptly and glared at him, "Who says it's your choice? I want to go with you!" We argued for ages, at one point Jake challenged me, "Give me one reason why you would want to sacrifice your safety for me?"

"Because I love you! There you have it! I love you!" He seemed speechless, doubts overcame me. "You... you don't love me?" His head snapped at me, and I forgot to breathe, pure determination in his eyes. "Don't you ever question my love for you again!" He said slowly and his voice was deep, he was angry. I swallowed hard, "Jake please. I've been without you for four years. Please don't do it to me again."

He got up abruptly and got dressed, I looked at him sadly. I guess he really didn't want me around. My lips trembled and my vision became blurry. He cupped my chin in his fingers and placed a gentle kiss on my lips, smiling cheekily. "It's nice to see you naked, but if you're going to run off with me, you'd better get dressed."

A wide smile spread across my face. I got up to get some fresh clothes when he suddenly pushed me against the wall. "I just can't control myself in your presence, we still have a few hours. We should enjoy them." I nodded and he pressed me even tighter against the wall, leaning against me from behind. I groaned as he entered me from behind. I loved his passion and how wild he got during sex. At the same time, I loved how shy he was when we talked normally.

See the full post

57 notes – Posted Oktober 20, 2022

Meine #1 des Jahres 2022

Unconditional Love

TW: Sexual Content

Words: 1,732

A/N: I tried my best at writing fluff. It's not my best work, but here it is. It was requested by @julesisreading 🧡

Before I left the gym, I checked my phone one more time. No new messages. I hated showering at the gym so I saved the shower for at home. I got in my little car and drove home. I parked in the residents' lot and entered the apartment building. I cursed myself for doing leg day today, walking up five more floors afterwards was just hell. I unlocked the door to the apartment and flopped onto the couch, groaning in exhaustion.

As my pulse and breathing calmed down again, I listened and heard the fast typing on the keyboard from the next room. He asked me not to disturb him, he had been in there for three days now and when he left the room it was only to go to the bathroom. We also didn't talk if we should meet during his walk to the bathroom. I'd like to know what he was doing in there, but he said it was just because of his work. He worked for the FBI now, but he's never been this busy.

It was pretty late at night so I made myself something to eat and sat on the couch and watched the live stream from the Aurora. My favorite band performed there today, but unfortunately I couldn't be there. I lay down on the sofa and fell asleep. When I woke up the next morning I was covered with a pillow under my head. A bottle of water sat on the living room table with a small note, "I love you."

Even if he was distant at the moment because of his work, he always left his love for me. He knew I loved those little gestures. I didn't need huge bouquets of roses or any chocolates. I was grateful that he had put the pillow under my head otherwise I would have a stiff neck now.

I noticed that I was still wearing my gym clothes. "Ew, that's gross," I said in disgust, sprinting to the bathroom. I wrapped myself in a towel and as I exited the bathroom I noticed that it was unusually quiet in here. I walked slowly and quietly into the bedroom and a love-struck grin crept onto my lips. Jake lay in bed asleep, he didn't even get to cover himself up, he was so tired.

I quietly opened the closet and quickly dug out some clothes. I tucked Jake in and placed a light kiss on his forehead. He didn't notice any of this and went on sleeping. I giggled softly when I saw him snuggling into the blanket. I slipped quietly into the bathroom and got dressed, I made two toasts and drank a coffee. After that I brushed my teeth. Shortly thereafter, my cell phone rang and I internally cursed not to have put it on silent.

I quickly ran to my phone and when I read the name, I growled, "Phil."

I took the call, "What do you want Phil?"

He chuckled, "Why are you in such a bad mood? You know I could have gotten a seat for you last night."

"Phil," I said firmly, feeling a presence behind me. This name literally summoned him. "Thanks for the offer, but I know you would want me to work for you if I had accepted the offer. And we all know you don't need any help."

"Who says that?" he asked in his flirty voice.

"I'll say that. I've been watching you, you're anything but overwhelmed at work. You're rather underwhelmed, you just want me there to let the female guests flirt with you more. And you want to use me to brag. "

"And who says that?" he asked a bit annoyed.

"You, drunk," I giggled into the phone. I felt two arms wrap around my waist and try to possess me like I was being taken away from him. He kissed my neck and let me exhale heavily. I tried to stifle a groan as he ran a hand over my breast.

I tried to hang up but he kept me on the phone. That was probably my punishment for accepting the call in the first place. But I didn't let such a punishment escape me. I enjoyed his touch and closed my eyes as he smiled at my neck since I wasn't wearing a bra. He twisted and tugged at my nipples, almost making me mewl.

His hand slipped under my top, exposing one of my breasts. He stood in front of me and closed his mouth around my nipple and his tongue drove my nipple mad. He crouched down a bit because I was a bit smaller than him. He looked me in the eyes from below and my breath caught. I threw my head back. It was only seconds, but it was wonderful to finally feel his contact again.

I was about to groan when Phil's voice snapped me out of my ecstasy, "It was a pity you weren't there, the others missed you too. It's a real pity you live on another continent."

"I thought it was a pity too," I immediately put my hand to my mouth. I sounded totally horny and my voice was deep with lust.

Jake smiled and nibbled on my nipple and I squeaked softly. "Everything ok?" asked Phil.

"Yes, yes, I'm fine. I... um... I have to... hang up now." My breathing quickened as his hands slid to my waistband.

"Okay? Goodbye."

Without saying goodbye, I hung up and glared at the man in front of me. He got up and I knew he just wanted to play. I immediately put on a frustrated face as he covered my breast in my top again.

"Jake! You can't do that," I whined.

"Watch me," he said walking back to his office. I laughed mockingly and he immediately stopped. He didn't move. The game can begin. I grinned cheekily, but when he turned around I put on a disappointed expression.

"Oh, don't worry about me. Go back to your cave." He scanned me from head to toe, trying to find a flaw in my changed behavior.

Inside I laughed evilly. I knew how high the risk is that he will either get mad at me after my next sentence or if he will pounce on me and show me his love.

See the full post

68 notes – Posted November 6, 2022

Hol dir deinen Tumblr-Jahresrückblick 2022 →

[salt-baby]

yes, doctors suck, but also "the medical ethics and patient interaction training doctors receive reinforces ableism" and "the hyper competitive medical school application process roots out the poor, the disabled, and those who would diversify the field" and "anti-establishment sentiment gets applications rejected and promotions requests denied, weeding out the doctors on our side" and "the gruesome nature of the job and the complete lack of mental health support for medical practitioners breeds apathy towards patients" and "insurance companies often define treatment solely on a cost-analysis basis" and "doctors take on such overwhelming student loan debt they have no choice but to pursue high paying jobs at the expense of their morals" are all also true

none of this absolves doctors of the truly horrendous things they say and do to patients, but it's important to acknowledge that rather than every doctor being coincidentally a bad person, there is something specific about this field and career path that gives rise to such high prevalence of ableist attitudes

and I WILL elaborate happily

[incredubious]

MODERN AU ACESAN !!!! first impressions with a guy who barely passes the No Shoes No Shirt No Service rule

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[lenin-it-to-win-it]

Frodo: Sam hates Gollum, but that is what I shall become once I have lost myself to the ring... he’ll despise me... 

Sam if Frodo did turn into a Gollum: That’s a very nice fish you caught with your bare hands, Mr. Frodo, and its very smart of you to eat it raw, saves us the trouble of starting a fire. I knitted you a sweater in case you get cold running around in that loincloth of yours. Is the sun hurting your eyes? I’ll kill it if it’s bothering you. I’ll kill the sun

[themaymoth]

the Evil King's daily routine💕🪞💘

✨yaaaayy another fairytale au, another day of Yin Yu dealing with his masters crush on the prince✨

[pisces-swirlix]

i cannot believe i haven’t heard anyone talk about the fact that the morning after george rexstrew and jayden revri first landed in vancouver they went for a walk together and pretended to be edwin and charles on the street, acting like they were ghosts and no one else could see them

do y’all not know about this or am i just unwell

[synthwavecryptid]

Energy never dies, it just transforms

(some people believe that seeing a cardinal is sign or message from a deceased loved one, or that cardinals appear when angels or spirits are near)

[laniidae-passerine]

don’t get how you can watch iwtv and be a sincere diehard lestat hater. like the world’s biggest lestat hater is louis and that man can’t even commit to it for more than five minutes before literally hallucinating lestat wearing a wedding ring and talking pretty to him. this show is about louis and every road leads back to lestat for that man

[spielzeugkaiser]

How it started-

How it's going!! They are a family and I am!!! also draw the hug you want to see in the show but they are forgiven because them meeting in brokilon was still soooo tender my HEART-

[asha-mage]

MDZS AU where Jiang Cheng realizes that Lan Sizhui is the Wen orphan that Wei Wuxian took care off during the Burial Mounds arc, decides that's close enough to qualify him as Nephew, declares that no Nephew of His (much less a surrogate son of Wei Wuxian's) is going to be raised in the Cloud Recedes, and immediately launches into a custody battle with Lan Wangji.

But since neither Jiang Cheng or Lan Wangji can acknowledge that Sizuhi has any connection to Wei Wuxian, both begin steadfastly and stubbornly insisting that he is a Cultivator of peerless potential and skill and he belongs in their sect thank you very much, and would clearly be very unhappy in the other's. This confuses the hell out of the already mystified Cultivation world, who had barely adjusted yet to gossiping about Sizhui being Wangji's illegitimate child by mysterious love affair.

(Eventually the common consensus in the rumor mills is that both JC and LW where in love with Sizhui's mother and both believe themselves to be Sizhui's real father.)

(LW couldn't care less what gossips say, but JC has to bite his tongue till it bleeds to avoid telling anyone the truth in a fit of anger.)

(It was Nie Huaisang who put that rumor out in the first place, partly to troll JC, partly because, in a way, it's a little true.)

[ruporas]

the blank ticket in your hand is just waiting to be filled in.

happy birthday vash! (ID in alt text)

[haunted-xander]

The punchline was originally just gonna be the last panel, but I thought it'd be funnier if he didn't even realize it for a long time lolol

[keii]

late morning

[ironinkpen]

my thing with the rat grinders is like yeah sure jace and porter have been manipulating them to some extent and yeah sure they deserve to be saved or whatever but also! they should get their asses beat a little bit first. like come on. they got into this whole mess in the first place because they were so bitter and entitled that they jumped on the opportunity to get special treatment and have some of their teachers handfeed them exp with no effort. they then pressured their cleric to change gods and ignored all sorts of red flags all so they could be better than some kids they've never fucking talked to who are literally just out here trying to save the world. like okay yeah uncorrupt them or whatever, but also the bad kids deserve to fuck em up a little bit. play stupid games win stupid prizes baby

[rivalmelty]

listen if the existence of the book means there are an infinite number of realities then there’s at least one where fukuzawa took in the both of them and the ada was born on two pillars instead of just one

(pls do not tag as beast)