#not exactly gonna be a powerful foe without all that

[rtlstuff]

I understand that Avatar was a kids show so they had to skirt around talking about murder and all the atrocities of war. However when I'm reading an Explicit fanfiction that heavily describes villains doing murder, torture and violation, it just becomes pathetic when the good guys don't meet it with equal force.

If you know a man is going to violate and murder someone innocent, you don't fight that by smacking them with a water whip, you shoot icicles through their eyes into their brains. You don't throw a baseball sized rock at someone's back, you pancake their head between two boulders. There are many effective ways that bending would be brutal and near unstoppable but instead I'm reading a fic where they might as well be using the equivalent of water pistols to fight soldiers.

[lovelyyandereaddictionpoint]

Could i request yandere sebastian, claude, and ash with floyd from twst reader? They look the same in human and merform and has the same personality.

I'll do two 🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

Floyd Leech Reader | Yandere Black Butler

From another world and an eel-mer person, you’re never one for abiding by the rules. Fun is what you’re after and what you find fun includes man-handling the ones you’re pointed to. Which happens to work for you in the slums of London where plenty of people need squeezing. Luckily you’re twin, the talker, has the pills that allow you both to keep your human appearances….for now. The best thing to do is stay where the fun is considering they also happen to have the mysterious ingredients needed to keep you and your brother walking: 

Sebastian Michaelis

“Ayyy! So you’re the one they want me to squeeze? This is gonna be fun!”

While ultimately you’re no match for the demon butler

But you certainly give him a run for his money

Magic-powered eels aren’t exactly his typical foe

Nor do his opponents stop mid-fight to whine about being bored

“Ugh, I wanna go for a swim. This is boring!”

“I can make things more interesting for you if you like.”

“Eh?! Doubt it Sharky. You’re not fun to play with.”

Once he realizes that you’re becoming the only thing on his mind 

He can only wish to appease your ever-changing moods

Hoping that you’ll give him the time of day

Which unfortunately means stopping whatever work he’s doing to ‘play’ with you

When you nonchalantly let it slip or reveal your eel-mer form he’s already thinking of ways to lock you up in a tank

The only problem is your undetermined mood

And your twin….that’s oddly reminiscent of himself

Who seemingly has it out for him with that stupid smile always on his face

He hopes that’s just their typical expression and not a cocky grin

Otherwise, there are plenty of circuses that’ll want a mermaid or even better a mermaid corpse

“I hope we can get along in the near future. After all, it’d be for (Y/n)’s best interest.”

Ash Landers

“Stop! Chasing me!”

“Come on! Come on! Don’t be scared! I just want to squeeze ya!”

“You broke that man’s spine!”

Love and crippling fear is a thin line for Ash

With his warped view of humans, he sees you as a…work in progress

You’re not human, 

you intentionally bite others without knowing where they’ve been

And delight in hurting others 

Granted if he points you in the right direction you can be somewhat helpful

“Nah I don’t wanna squeeze ‘em anymore.”

“But you said you would!”

To him, you’re just so frustrating 

But he can do it

You're rehabilitation is going to make all the pain worth it

He’s going to have an even bigger problem when your twin gets in his way

“Blleeeegh!!!”

“They said they're not all that interested in helping you at the moment.”

“What!? But they just told me to-”

“They. Are. Not. Interested.” 

Oh he’s going to love cleansing this world of such a nosy twin

[guppybubbles]

Sweet Dreams are Made of This. [1/3]

(A/N: Kind of a sequel to my other fic, ROLL ME A 6 ! :> You don't need to read that though to understand this!)

Borrower Tommy accidentally shifts into a universe where his homebrew DND world is real. He still sucks at being a giant.

WORD COUNT: 1,341 words

WARNINGS: None.

"Tommy opened his eyes and what he saw was unlike anything he's seen before…"

Tommy listened in anticipation. What could it be? A new friend, a new foe? He looked at his dad, a smug little smile barely hidden by his serious storytelling.

 

"And we'll find that out in the next session."

Halfway through his sentence, he and his brothers already knew it was the end of their game for the day. All groaning and complaining about Phil leaving it in such a dumb cliffhanger, Phil only laughed. 

It couldn't have been hours already, had it? They barely started! He still had to redeem himself and his character into great glory! "No, come on, let's do one more hour— please, please?" He begged, holding onto one of Phil's fingers like he had all the power to hold him down and force him into another round. 

With his other hand, Phil picked up the die and tossed it into the container— folding up the map before putting it back in the box. Tommy knew it was over, they'd start another session again sooner or later. 

But he wanted to do another hour, or maybe two more, now. "Pleasee, I rolled so low every turn, I need to redeem myself!" 

"I wish we could continue, mate." Phil smiled, "But I got work tomorrow and it's already…" He stared at the clock, making a surprised sound at the 11:48 PM on the wall. Phil cursed under his breath, gently, slowly pulling his hand away from Tommy’s hold. "Alright, get to bed you three." 

The blond borrower knew there was no convincing Dad anymore. He crossed his arms with a humph, upset with his bad luck during the game. "Cheer up, Toms! I'm sure luck will make you do justice next time." Wilbur consoled, pushing his chair into the table and picking up the box with their fantasy map and die. 

“You are horrible at throwing the die for me,” Tommy grumbled, narrowing his eyes at his older brother who had offered to throw the dice for him earlier. Wilbur’s luck when it came to the game was pretty good, yet whenever he tossed the die for Tommy, the luck seemed to plummet- doing worse than when the borrower himself threw the die. 

In the corner of his eyes, he could see Wilbur’s lips press into a thin line. He was stopping himself from being amused at Tommy’s anger. “It really wasn’t on purpose.” 

“Yeah, I know,” Tommy replied. Not upset at Wilbur, nor was he upset at the game. He swears he would be able to throw the dice better if he was just… more human-sized. 

“You’ll do better next game, I’ll make sure of it,” Wilbur promises.

Tommy looks at him incredulously, slightly laughing. “What, are we gonna cheat or something?”

In response, Wilbur shrugged, a playful smile tugging at his lips. “Dunno, maybe.”

Holding the game board, he placed his other hand on the desk. A trust exercise that slowly grew into a habit none of them thought was strange anymore, Tommy hopped on the hand and held onto the fingers for support. He used to have to walk from place to place, no matter how far it was because the big man was too stubborn to accept and ask for help. In response, they all worked together to install little stairs everywhere so Tommy would at least be able to reach things without having to heave himself up with a rope and a hook. He almost cried in front of them because of how much he appreciated the gesture. 

That night, Tommy lay in his bed, uncharacteristically quiet as he stared at the ceiling. His room looked so much like a human's room- constructed by his family after nearly a year of accidentally revealing himself to them. It wasn’t exactly like him to be upset for the dice throws during the game, it really wasn’t Wilbur’s fault. On a good day, he throws exceptionally well for Tommy’s character too. 

But Tommy isn’t upset about the dice, is he?

It was never the dice, never Wilbur, never his family, but him. 

If he was truly meant to be their family, then couldn’t the universe make him human? Did he seriously have to be something that was never allowed to mingle with larger beings? It was a written code since the beginning of time that borrowers were never allowed to be with humans. Never share anything, what you are, what your name was. Most importantly, never be seen. 

Were they never supposed to be a family then? Did he have to break the borrower’s code just to be a part of something he’s not supposed to? He’s not a borrower anymore, he knows that. He barely even follows the code anymore, but he’s not human either. Too exposed to be a borrower, too small to be a human.

Then what was he?

Tommy released a loud, exasperated sigh. His calloused hands rubbed over his face. He knows he shouldn’t think about such things, but lately, he’s been more aware than ever. He notices how Techno looms over him when they do woodwork together, Wilbur’s singing voice goes from soothing to too loud, and Phil barely gives him any chores (Maybe he shouldn’t complain about that one, actually).

They don’t mean it, of course, they didn’t. They probably don’t even notice it as well. Something so small and insignificant to them could be so overwhelming for him. He just wants to be bigger, to fit in… 

He should go to sleep. He'll forget about it tomorrow and everything will continue on like it usually does (until the nagging feeling returns and he feels like he's rotting in bed).

Goodnight, me. Tommy closed his eyes, unable to rid of the heavy weight in his chest. 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

If Tommy could recall this correctly— and while he may not have the best memory, he can certainly tell when something is just plain wrong… He fell asleep on his bed, right?

His eyes blurred as he gained consciousness and though he wasn't aware of where he was— he could sense danger even from a mile away. His shoulders ached, raised high above him. Something was holding his arms upwards. Cold, tight metal gripping his wrists, uncomfortably pressing into his skin. He tried tugging it downwards, but it barely moved. 

Instead of lying on a soft, warm bed, it felt like he'd been kneeling for Prime knows how long. His legs felt numb, ringing uncomfortably no matter how much he tried to move. It didn't matter because he was stuck in place. 

It was hot. Sweat was dripping from his forehead to his nose and down to either his clothes or the floor (he made a mental note that he wasn’t wearing his pajamas). 

He sucked in a deep breath, humid air filling his lungs in a way that didn't calm him down, but just made him panic more. 

Tommy's vision began clearing up and despite the little ache in his neck, he decided to look around. The room was dimly lit, weak artificial lighting barely reflecting the big, metal room he resided in. 

There were mini stairs and platforms built around him. The platforms in front of him connected through the middle and had a door on each side of the wall. Above the platform in the wall in front of him was glass, he couldn't make out anything inside, it was darker than the room he was in.

The metal room he sat in was quite spacey. The ceiling was quite high but he couldn't stand up even if he attempted to— his ankles were chained as well, shorter in length compared to the ones around his wrist. Tommy struggled against the chains, everything looked so.. small yet so oddly detailed. 

Where was he? Who were these stairs for? Were there more beings smaller than a borrower? Prime, how would they even look next to a human?

Does his family know where he is right now..?

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

yayaya thank you sm for reading! & holy shit guppy writing fics comeback??? no way!!!

[rhaemaya-valwynn]

Meet my JJBA OC- Synth!

Meet my gremlin! (art done by @ahoge-fish​)

This is my OC Synth! I made her back when i was 13 years old (27 as of this post, going on 28 soonish) So I’ve had her for more than half my life! She has her own original story with its own lore, so for my JJBA Fanfic I’m working on, I smashed the two worlds together and blended their lore till well mixed.

One thing you need to know about Synth is that she doesn’t come from the JoJo universe! She’s a reality traveler! Synth is in the middle of a terrible war which is spreading across the multiverse and she is trying to stop it. That means finding answers and power to push and hold her foe back. Could that mean that Stands hold the answer she’s looking for? Possibly! Its quite funny, but, she doesn’t have a Stand at all! She has a sister power to Stands which lets her interact and see them. Will I tell you what that is here? Nope! That’s for you to find out! Synth was made be alien’s who wanted to hurt people. She was built to think and learn, but knowing how dangerous that was they built her with a ‘open memory’ program, meaning they could change her thoughts and feelings on the fly to ensure zealotry to their cause. The problem that occurred for her creators is that, she woke up before they realized it and dismantled most of the program and prevented them from manipulating her and turning her off, so when she was launched at Earth for a ‘prototype test run’ she woke up and realized what they wanted her to do was wrong and sided with the humans instead.

Sadly another foe came into the picture as she wasn’t the only prototype sent out. What’s the foe? You’ll find out in the fanfic!

Synth’s ultimate dream is to be completely human, hence why her latest model looks exactly like a human, though her outfit for her part 3 entrance looks like:

pure gremlin energy

(credit goes to @ubetar0​)

Does this mean she’s the 6th member of the Stardust Crusaders before Iggy joins making it 7? Yeah.... Is that done a million times over? Yeah.... Am I gonna do it still? YEAH...!

Some basic info on Synth: Birthplace: Kep'lun 7 Favorite sport: Herculean Barrage (GIANT alien bugs that wrestle, pretty cool right?) Profession: Founder and leader of the Intergalactic Syndicate Accord (ISA) and war machine against ???? Distinguishing marks: Bright neon blue hair and eyes Favorite food: probably something sweet like sorbet Zodiac sign: Leo Blood type: Negative B-26 (type of liquid that carries her power current through her body) Height:  162cm - 5ft 4in Education: Alien artificial intelligence (Smart-duh) Family: Z'Bane-creator of her body and mind ???- creator of her soul Eye color: Neon blue Hobbies: Singing and exploring different planets/realities Favorite Artist/Musician: most artists, though her favorite type of music is Synthwave (get the pun?) Favorite movie: Spiderman into the Spiderverse Favorite color: Blue Personality: Vibrant and full of life, Synth hides her crippling depression behind a wall of false happiness. In truth, she plays the role of a cruel ???, while in reality, she loves and cares so much that she spends most of her alone time weeping over the things she's been forced to do and the lives she's lost, lamenting her failures. When traveling to other realities, away from her war, she acts as she would want to be like back in her home realm, someone who she always wanted to be away from prying eyes. Favorite type of partner: Being Bi, Synth wants someone who is honest and blunt but intelligent and able to quip back at her without fear. Someone that treats her as anyone else. Loyalty is few and far between, so having someone she can depend on is also a must, as she wants to bear her heart to whoever loves her honestly. ??? owned: ????

Due to Synth’s mysterious sister power to Stands, Stand’s begin acting even stranger than usual, which leads into quite a story, I wonder what it could be?

Also given that Synth is pun filled and humorous to a fault, her and Jotaro go at each others throats quite often.

So who did I end up shipping together?

(credit goes to @ubetar0​)

YEAH, I KNOW. FIGHT ME. (credit goes to @ubetar0​)

Anyway, if you made it this far, thank you for your time and for looking at my baby! This is a starter post before I begin to go off the deep end with her and talking everyone’s ears off.

For the full sized image used in the first picture by Ahoge is Synth’s part 6 outfit/her casual wear in her reality:

Thanks again for reading!

[camping-with-monsters]

Beware! For just beyond the taller trees and thorny bushes lurks a dangerous and terrifying entity known simply as… The Beast!

Yikes, even muttering the name manages to chill a spine! This dastardly Beast is spoken to be quite the monster. A bear-like face with glowing evil eyes, a pair of tusks that pierce from the sides of it’s mouth, a long hairy body that trails when it runs, and to top things off, it even has razor sharp bear traps for hands! What a horrible sight indeed! You’d best tread carefully if you find yourself in the quiet ends of Whistlegrimm, for if the breeze around you suddenly comes to a halt, and you feel the hair on your neck stand, you bet that The Beast is already on your trail, and it’s recommended you start hauling now. Most of the time, it’s very secretive in its tactics. Despite being such a hulk of a creature, it trails softly through the underbrush, already deciphering exactly what angle is the only one you won’t look before it pounces and roars— and you better believe it— it’s got one mighty roar! The kind of shrill grumble that will have you quaking and scurrying away faster than you can even perceive it’s already daunting stature!

Not many know of The Beast’s origins. Some say the heart-shape pattern on its head bears a mystical power to read the minds of feeble minded victims. But whatever its deal is, it gets a pretty hefty rep when it comes to putting on such a scene. But that ol’ Beast doesn’t seem to have a care in the world about the reputation. All good beasts are feared— it’s exactly what this Beast wants! To get a reaction out of unsuspecting passersby who happen to linger right into its teeth. But should someone manage to find themselves paralyzed and unable to make a getaway in time before it gets close enough, they may be graced to hear one last thing… its mighty laugh as it seems to taunt your terror. It’s then and only then this creature’s truth is revealed.

For this Beast… is only a facade.

BEHOLD! The Beast unmasked and exposed to truly show the real nature of such a character! A true trickster at heart, Goldilocks, the real name of this falsified foe, is only here to make some noise!

Though hardy, she’s actually a good-hearted goofball who’s got a knack for pulling elaborate stunts to get some good reactions— but to her, it’s all in lighthearted fun! With a giant mop of hair stretching long and far— quite similarly to Rapunzel, actually— this eccentric gal has figured out how to use her own head to create the perfect costume, figuratively and literally. Taking on a bear-like disguise in the hopes of making some tomfoolery, Goldi loves to trot aimlessly and listen for a wandering soul to joke around with. It’s really up to the eye of the beholder whether this elaborate stunt is truly witty, or way extra, or whether the fun can be appreciated or is taking things too far and really creating too much of a scare. Miss Goldilocks would digress. She both loves the persona for its scaring potential and makes her feel closer to nature and all its kindred.

It’s hard to say whether those bear trap cuffs around her are even real bear traps. She’s a tinkerer, so it can only be assumed that the lot of her props are all handcrafted by her’s truly. Quite the designer, and very efficient at making things seem all the more authentic. Perhaps those “bear traps for hands” are simply just stilts made to hoist herself upright and run on all fours easier. Or maybe they are? We just don’t know. But regardless, even if she gives you quite the spookin’, it’s important to remind yourself that she bears no ill intent— the woman probably couldn’t even hurt a fly. At least, not intentionally, of course. Having a lot of body strength and being all rough and tumble is bound to leave someone out of breath if they can’t keep up with her. Gonna have to take someone without a pair of lungs, or hell, a need for breathing at all to match this gal’s energy…

——

I originally told myself I wasn’t going to create a Goldilocks based character cause I wasn’t sure how I could outdo her portrayal in Puss In Boots: The Last Wish. And then an idea (initially sparked to me by @menthum-mint) and my own creativity inevitably got the best of me with this one :)

And honestly? She might be one of my favorite designs in DDG. When I tell you this character was in design hell for a while, and that I jumped some hurdles to get this character to work in terms of making her feel authentic to the cast (cause the original concepts did something very different with the hair), it was a doozy getting her to work. In the end, I settled with… character who’s anatomically her own quadsuit. I… yeah! That’s certainly a way to describe it!

[aquaburst3]

So...after a VERY long week, I want to spill my salt somehow by ranking the TWST Books. Some things first...

I'll be using the MAL scale, so 1 means outright garbage, 5 means it's okay and 10 means awesome. I'm not gonna include Diasomnia because of spoilers. (I will say rn that it gets a 4/10).

I'm not considering issues with the game as a whole like Yuu being an inactive protagonist, just at the arcs themselves.

Keep in mind, this is all my personal opinion. If you disagree with any of my takes, great. I don't care. You're entitled to your opinion, and I'm entitled to mine.

Though, I might save that for another post. Let's get to it!

The Prologue: 5/10 Reason: There are some good bits here like the ominous opening with us waking up in the coffin, Yuu being proactive with the mine bit, and a good introduction to the main friend group. There are downsides as well. Parts of it could've been streamlined better. For example, I don't think including both the statue being burnt and the candelier falling is necessary. One of those should've been scrapped to make the pacing snappier. Hell, that's exactly what happens in the manga. Yuu should've had much more of a negative reaction to being isekaied. While I know they think it's a dream, but they're like, "I've been transported to another world where everyone I know and love don't exist? Cool." And to add insult to injury, they have a good sleep after the first night. Like, what? What kind of person would have that reaction? It's an okay start, but it could've been a lot better.

Heartslabyul: 6/10 Reason: The writing in this arc is pretty good. The stakes are reasonably high, you get introduced to great characters, Riddle is a great antagonist for this arc, Ace gets his moment in the sun and it does a good job at mixing in the movie/book while doing its own thing.

There are still some issues. Yuu isn't really proactive, and it's more Ace who drives the plot here. The pacing seems really off, since I don't think the whole "baking the tart" thing was necessary for reasons I'll mention in a bit. There are also plot holes like if Ace's older brother attended Night Raven and told him about sleeping spots, why the fuck is he so shocked about everything, including basic information like the dorm names? Shouldn't he know this shit by now? And why didn't he just straight up challenge Riddle to the position of dorm leader without putting up with the tart BS? It seems more in character for him.

Over all, an overall decent arc, but nothing to write home about.

Savanaclaw: 2.5/10 Reason: And then, things immediately tank. xD If you ask someone in the western TWST fandom what their least favourite arc is, they'll most likely name this one. There's a reason for that. It's total shit.

The Lion King elements feel shoehorned.

The mystery is extremely obvious. Despite Ruggie using his powers right in front of Yuu, no one expects a damn a thing.

Instead of being being cunning foes, Leona and Ruggie are turned to idiots, who telegraph their plans and boast about how evil they are like telenovela villains. This pisses me off, since in the rest of the game while Leona is very lazy, he's also cunning, smart and charismatic. He's like a chessmaster who knows what moves to make. I would've loved to see that Leona in this arc.

Right before Leona overblots, he uses his powers on Ruggie out of anger and almost turns him to dust. Despite this, they go back to normal like nothing happened. This pisses me off so much. First off all, why the hell did Leona do this to Ruggie in the first place? He did nothing wrong. If anything he should do this to Jack, who foiled his plans. Second, why the fuck isn't there any fallout after that? Ruggie was almost murdered! You would think that he would be pissed off at him for what he did, and Leona would have to make it up to him. I know if that were to happen to me I would be pissed off at the very least.

Leona doesn't have a lot of involvement with the story, despite being the main antagonist for that chapter.

Epel is on the magishift team, but his thoughts on this situation and the whole deal with Leona is never addressed.

Why the fuck didn't Ruggie overblot? The game gives the impression to me. He's the one who constantly uses his powers and has everything to lose, not Leona. Hell, making it so Ruggie overblot instead would be killing two birds with one stone, since it would fix that plot hole while also fixing the issue of Leona having no consequences for his actions and not feeling any regret.

Leona's motivation is hardly explored in this arc.

Like always, Yuu doesn't do a damn thing despite them being the protagonist.

Why is Leona's first plan the stampede? Wouldn't Malleus be able to teleport away?

Over all, a shit arc and wasted potential.

Octanivelle: 8/10 Reason: This is by far the most competently written out of all the TWST arcs. Azul is a cunning foe, Yuu is an actual proactive protagonist for once, and the plot is pretty solid. The only nitpicks I have with it is that the Savanaclaw characters should've been more involved in the plot, Azul being able to memorize all that info seemed like bullshit and there is a huge continuity error with the photo that makes Azul come off like a dumbass. (The game takes place in 2020, meaning that smartphones were popular at the time Azul's fat photo was taken. The fact that the photo could be floating around online never ONCE considered. I honestly chalk this up with Yana being an out of touch Gen Xer.) Other than that, solid writing and a great arc.

Scarabia: 7/10 Reason: This one is pretty solid too. Yuu is a proactive protagonist for once, most likely because they only could rely on Grim for half of it. xD The Octanivelle Trio are great. It does a great job at mixing in the Aladdin movies while doing its own thing. There are some issues holding it back like Kalim forgiving Jamil way too damn easily, Jamil being the colpurit being a bit to obvious (but it's more forgivable here since the investigation isn't the point of the arc like with Savanaclaw), the Octanivelle Trio stealing Jamil's thunder too much at times and the idea of them digging out of Scarabia makes no sense. (Seriously, even if that was possible, their room is on top of a tower, wouldn't they just fall and plumpt to their deaths?) Over all, pretty good arc.

Pomefiore: 6/10 Reason: Things go downhill from here. The first half before the training starts is pretty solid. But afterwards issues begin to arise...

The pacing feels extremely off. Sometimes it feels padded out while others it feels extremely rushed, especially after the first day until the day of the festival. I wish that certain parts were scrapped so the story could focus on more important things.

It didn't explore the aftermath of Jamil and Kalim's relationship nearly enough.

Epel does a complete 180 on his views on gender norms in one single afternoon. Sorry, but that's not how that works in real life. People are stubborn, and some never budge. If someone does change their mind about something, it would take months if not longer. He's been living with those stereotypes all his life, so he's even less likely to budge quickly. I think it'd make more sense for him to go "Oh, I see what you're saying, but…" then immediately accept it.

Others have mentioned this before, this arc has a problem of setting up certain characters to get their moment in the sun, but then give it to someone else. The biggest example is the arc setting up that Epel will have a climatic moment where he confronts Vil, but it's Deuce who does instead, despite the little set up. If she wanted Deuce to have the climatic moment, then there should've been more foreshadowing for it.

Vil and Neige's backstory seems like something Yana pulled straight out of her ass, because it makes zero sense. How the fuck is Neige able to live with a group of minors who have the mental capacity of kindergartners without being taken by CPS? Why the fuck didn't Vil know that Neige was poor already? He works with him constantly! (Honestly, I'm 99% sure she did pull it out of her ass. There was a huge incident before Ignihyde debuted in the JP fandom where the JP fans sent her and Rook VA death threats for the ending of Pomefiore. It seems like something she came up with on the spot to plaicate that complaint and make Neige look better, but it failed anyway.)

Vil's backstory made it come off as he had almost no problems.

Why aren't Vil and Neige stepbrothers? It would make their connection much simpler and align Vil up more with the Evil Queen.

Neige and Vil had no direct interaction before the climax.

NRC losing the competition is bullshit. NRC was the better performers while Neige's routine sucked.

The usual issue of Yuu not doing anything to advance the plot is also there.

Where the the fuck is Jack in all this? He and Vil are FRIENDS, so you would think that he would be concerned about Vil and want to stop him from overblotting.

The stuff before is solid, but the stuff after the training camp starts sucks. So it evens out to slightly above average.

Ignihyde: 3/10 Reason: Going against popular opinion, but...I think this one REALLY sucks and is almost on par with Savanaclaw. Because...

Everyone is a total dumbass

There's loads of worldbuilding that comes straight the fuck out of nowhere.

The ending of Jamil and Kalim's character arc infuriates me. Instead of setting Jamil's family free, they go back to the status quo and Jamil is supposed to be happy with it!? Bullshit! (Kalim should've set the Vipers free. Period. No ifs, ands or buts about it.)

Yuu and Idia hardly interact.

Yuu loses their home, and has no reaction to it.

The ending makes Vil look like a total dumbass for never considering just making an antidote to turn himself back to normal like how the Evil Queen would've done in the movie if she wasn't killed off and makes Malleus a Gary-Sue Deus ex Machina.

Leona's reading on Jamil is so inaccurate that it makes me genuinely wonder if Yana even understands her own characters.

Ortho has no personality outside of being a stereotypical child character and is more of a prop for Idia's character.

While I don't usually comment about the gaming mechanics, but the mini games in this one are frustrating as hell. I heard of people rage quiting with this arc, because they are that unfunctional.

Over all, an overrated arc and is total shit in my opinion.

Over all score so far (in my opinion): 62%, or just above average Thoughts: The game has a very strong premise and a mostly solid cast, but there are a lot of things that hold it back from being truly amazing. Certain arcs are better than others. Over all, it's just okay. For a mobile game, that's rather impressive. Twst is best as a jumping point for transformative work. The writing is decent, especially for a phone game, but if you take the premise, characters, setting and just run away with it, you could write something so much more detailed and fleshed out yourself. I think that's why I enjoy writing fics in this fandom so much. It's a fun sandbox to play in. I can use the game's elements to create something far better, fixing any writing issues in the process like the shitty worldbuilding and Yuu being passive protagonist.

[empressofthesunwriter]

The Stick of Truth

Codename: Dovahkiin Part 1!

N.K. is angry at her parents. Not only did they move again, no, but they moved into a snowy hicktown named South Park! She was sure she would hate it there, yet surprisingly she gets to participate in the epic RPG the kids play and falls for the human princess and the elf king. Who is friend, who is foe and which side should she choose?

Main Pairing: New Kid/Kenny McCormick/Kyle Broflovski

Chapter 10: How to Sneak in on a super-secret government Meeting

I had time today and thought let’s write this chapter in one go! It’s a bit short, like Chapter 9, but these two chapters are there to set up things for the next big chapter, chapter 11.

I still hope you enjoy it!

Apparently having cig and coffee on me and looking Goth, isn’t enough for my dark-spirited friends.

It’s a frame of mind, I sadly lack.

It’s been against society's rules, which I don’t.

Being born a girl in a patriarchy and being bi in a queerphobic land isn’t enough.

This hurts me.

Deeply.

Is this Goth enough or too sarcastic?

Anyway, to prove I’m goth I have to go to the big PTA meeting in the community center, walk right into the middle of that meeting and tape this wonderful sign with written on it “Fuck the conformists!” to their table.

What one due’s for their plans…

So I make my way there all alone since my co-conspirators against King Big Ass are all busy with preparations for our plan.

The PTA meeting is a bomb to go off any second as I walk in. The adults literally talk over each other. They are angry, all right.

I feel kind of awkward standing so randomly there with my stupid sign and even more stupid Goth clothes.

I’m thinking about how to best tap the sign on the table and take the photo, as proof, without anybody seeing me when I hear Mr. Mash saying my name: “Thank you for coming, N.K. Everyone, this is the girl whose family just moved to town.”

A lot of preps stared at me.

I put up my middle finger at them.

No of course not, I waved awkwardly at them, but I got you all for a second, hehe.

“We've become very close friends.”, tells Mr. Marsh everybody. “This child and I witnessed something last night, and I'd like you to hear her story. Go ahead, kiddo.”

I blink.

What happened again last night?

Oh yeah, the space adventure.

“Some alien fuckers kidnapped us to probe us in the ass. Me and my best friend saved anybody on this ship and you Mr. Marsh just left us there.”, I deadpan.

No way, I gonna tell them, we girls crashed the UFO.

“N-Not really what I meant, kiddo.”, awkwardly Mr. Marsh rubs his neck.

It’s still for a few seconds.

“This is a waste of everyone's time!”, shouts a brown-haired man…I think it’s Leo’s dad. “If the PTA isn't going to do something about Taco Bell taking over then the rest of us parents will!”

“YEAH!”

“THAT'S RIGHT!”

 “Let's go!”

“COME ON!”

Following Leo’s dad all, besides the PTA members, leave.

Well, that could have gone better for them.

Not my problem.

I have to fulfill my quest.

As I’m about to tap my sign on the table, Mr. Marsh runs up to me and takes it from my hands.

“Look, I know how you're feeling, ok? But this isn't gonna solve anything. We've got to get inside that "Taco Bell" and find out what's really going on. Help me with that and I'll help you with this.”, promises Mr. Marsh.

“What do you want?”, I ask frowning. “That I do it like a Ninja and break in and search for some dirt on "Taco Bell"?”

“Exactly!”

He can’t be serious!

“I saw you on the ship - you have pretty good control over your farts and you have your Magical Girl Powers!”

….Magical what Girl powers?!

Heh?

What does he mean by that?

Last I checked I’m not Sailor Moon.

If I was Sailor Moon I would be soooo happy.

“Meet me in the bathroom. It's time for you to learn some REAL power.”

Still confused about what Mr. Marsh meant, I follow him to the bathroom.

And I need to learn a new fart technic.

Okay, I get that it’s useful, but still, bah!

Anyway, I master it and Mr. Marsh sends me off to my new quest.

Quests for quests and no end in sight.

Stupid game mechanics.

Frowing with crossed arms I stand before "Taco Bell".

I saw with my own eyes how a man got shot in the head just for asking questions.

Mr. Marsh was right.

It’s more than just to hide the fact that this "Taco Bell" is on UFO. This rip-off Man-in-black are hiding something.

I feel it.

It’s too dangerous to break in alone.

I need backup.

So I try to get someone to join me.

All besides Tammy are busy with preparations, but she tells me Stan can come along if we first help him with something.

This something is to get his phone back from his older sister.

Another quest?

Sure why not.

Not like I already have 30 or so!

Signing, I make my way back to the Eleven Kingdom.

“Your sister is a crazy nasty bitch!”, I tell Stan, as I, he, and Tammy make our way to "Taco Bell".

“Disgusting, absolute, disgusting!”, adds Tammy, checking her new cool fighter armor, courtesy of the elven, for any menstrual blood.

Yes, you read right.

Stan older sister used as attack bloody tampons on us!

“I’m sorry, girls, but imagine living with her 24/7!”, apologize Stan. “At last I have my phone back, really again, thank you.”

“Your welcome, but next time warn us.”, I make clear.

Finally, we are back at "Taco Bell" and I use Sneaky Squeaker, I fucking hate that I have to use it, to lead the two heavy armor soldiers away from the entrance.

Tammy sends me I look and I shrug just.

I know it is nasty, but we don’t have other means.

With the soldiers busy being distracted by the fart we three Ninja our way in.

“This place doesn't really look like a Taco Bell.”, points Stan out.

“It isn’t.”, answers Tammy. “It’s a UFO and they build a Military complex around it.”

“How do you know that?”

“You don’t see the giant UFO?”

“Also, it may be that Tammy and I got abducted by aliens last night and had to fight our way out of it.”, I add.

Stan just stares at us and lets out a long okay.

I have a feeling he saw and heard weirder shit in his life.

Must be a South Park thing.

Anyway, there is a lone soldier whom I lead with Sneaky Squeaker to the electrocuted puddle of water and then use my alien probe-thingy to teleport us to the roof.

We crawl all in the air conduction. After a few seconds, we find a meeting room full of people. We stop and listen.

“...but so far we have been unable to stop the UFO from leaking the toxic waste.”, say’s one of the Men-in-Black. “We've contained all we can but there are no guarantees an outbreak will not occur.”

An older man with an eye patch asks: “And does the alien liquid appear to have the same effect as... last time?”

Suddenly I feel how I shiver and my heart starts to race.

That voice…

I heard it somewhere before…

And if I look more at the Eye-Patch-Grandpa…the more I’m sure I saw I somewhere before.

I don’t like this feeling.

“I'm afraid so.”, answer him Men-in-Black. “When the alien waste reacts with organic material on Earth it turns things into... Nazi zombies.”

A window opens and a man in a Hawaii shirt is in a room behind it, walking really like a zombie and shouting in German.

…I’m imagining things or does he sound like Hitler?!

 “Nazi zombies, what a cliché!”, whispers Tammy.

Stan and I nod, and even the government guys are so done with this too. How often did they encounter this to be so dull about it?

Eye-Patch-Grandpa walks over to a whiteboard which has a drawing of South Park on it and explains to his men and woman: “All right, we're going to have to completely obliterate EVERYTHING in a three-block radius. Find locations for the bombs and bury it all. Then make up a fake story about an earthquake. We can contain the outbreak this time if we act quickly enough. Let's MOVE!”

All stand up to get out of the room.

Suddenly one of the government guys turns around.

He points at a little record on their table.

“Everything we've just talked about has been recorded onto this tape. I'm going to leave it alone here for a few minutes, then come back later and have it encrypted and locked away so nobody ever hears what was said in this meeting.”

“Yes. Good idea.”

With that, all leave the room.

“Well, how practically for us. That’s exactly what the PTA wants.”, I whisper to my friends.

Tammy and Stan nod.

“Adults are so stupid.”, points Stan out.

We start to crawl again, to find a way out of the air conduction.

I’m the first to jump out of it…at the same time as the Nazi Zombie breaks free and kills the soldiers before me!

Oh shit!

Stan, Tammy, and I need our collected forces to kill this overused cliché, but we manage.

“Oh my god! Why?!”, shouts Tammy.

“You guys stay here.”, I tell them. “I get the record and then we get out of here!”

“Hurry, dude!”, pleads Stan.

Fast I snatch the record up and then we three run out of the military complex.

What we see and encounter on our way back to the Elven Kingdom is fucking nuts.

The Nazi Zombies already spread!

So much for containing them!

I hope the adults can at least stop somehow the plan at bombing South Park.

Tammy decided to go with me to the PTA meeting, but first Jimmy ask us if we can help him get a flute.

Seems like we have to do some quests first.

And I still need to place Al Gore’s little machine underground.

The PTA can wait for a bit.

“Okay, we fought Nazi-Zombie-Cows to get Jimmy the flute, beat up an ex-vice president, then him again dressed up as ManBearPig and we meet a talking Christmas shit and his family.”

“Don’t forget all the hobos and Nazi Zombies we beat and/or killed up, Tam.”

“How can I when the Nazi Zombie cat nearly scratched me?! Do you think they can give rabies too, N.K.?”

“I sure hope they don’t.”

Yeah, as you can see Tammy and me had quite the adventures.

On one side it was good because we both level up and Tammy got with any fight better in our RPG, on the other side we both are stressed out.

And we still have our big plan for Cartman, when we just wanna chill and maybe watch a movie and eat some junk food.

At least, not only we gave the record to the PTA, but we also got the goddamn picture the Goths want, and after showing them how Goth I can dance, drink my coffee, and smoke they agree to participate in the RPG!

Yeah!

All is coming perfectly together.

Tammy and I hug each other before Cartman’s house.

Now we must separate before we can rejoin sides again.

“Good luck, with Cartman, sis.”, wishes me, Tammy. “I will see you on the other side.”

“I will see you on the other side.”, I repeat and we hug each other tight.

With that, I enter Kupa Keep.

First I see how Princess Kenny gives me a wink and a nod.

Okay, this means on her side all is according to plan.

Leo gives me a thumbs up, while I see how Token, Tweek, Craig and even Scott nod at me.

Awesome, they are on board too!

“My king.”, I call for Fatass. He is surely in the war tent. “I’m back with good news.”

King Chubby steps out of the war tent, a smile on his face.

“Ah, you have returned!”

“Yes, my lord. The Goths are on our side.”

“Awesome, come, Sir Douchebag, it is time to summon our forces! Simply call them here and your dedication to Kupa Keep will be complete! Climb the signal tower, Sir Douchebag. Call forth your new recruits!”, commands Cartman practically.

If all goes to plan this will be one of the last times he will give me a command.

I play my part.

I climb the carton tower and send with my phone a message to the Goth Kids.

When I climb down again, Cartman calls out: “Everyone gather around!”

We do as he says.

“While the rest of you have been picking your respective arses, Sir Douchebag has gone out and brought help to our kingdom.”, berates them Cartman. All play their role, looking disappointed at themselves. “Sir Douchebag, it is time to give you a title worthy of your deeds.”

“Will you finally use my real name?”, I ask with pretended hopefulness.

“I have something better! By the power of Mandaloth, third-born of the Redguard, and by the glory of Christ, I hereby anoint thee -- COMMANDER DOUCHEBAG! With all the rights and privileges accompanied therein!”

“Goddamit, Fatass is N.K. so complicated!”

And again I get ignored.

“Eric! ERIC!”, runs up Leo to us. He sends me a quick wink. This means we and the elven are ready for our plan or should I say trap for Cartman. “We know where the elves are hiding the Stick!”

“What? Really?”

“We just intercepted their messages on Twitter!”

“You mean you shot down their message raven.”

“R-right - w-we shot down their raven a-and the evil Elf King ha-has hidden the Stick inside his desk at school!”

“Of course! Kyle hid it in his desk! CITIZENS OF KUPA KEEP! WE KNOW WHERE THE ELVES ARE HIDING THE STICK! I told you they were cheating! NOW WE SHALL MARCH ON THE SCHOOL AND MAKE THE HALLWAYS DRIP WITH ELVEN BLOOD!”

“HUZZAH!”, we all shout.

It’s time to get this show on the roll!

Cartman will not get what hit him.

I’m already laughing inside gleefully imagining his stupid face.

He will pay for being such an enormous bastard to anyone!

I used JRPG Heroine: Dragon Master dress-up game for Tammy’s outfit. She has a purse with her since her class is a fighter and she fights like Tifa Lockheart from Final Fantasy. In the purse are things like smoke bombs or glitter to give a status effect on the enemy or stun them.

Next

[annaizscribbling]

can i just ask for some general info about logans library? how does it affect the sides? does it affect them in any way? is it like, safe for logan to spend a lot of time there?

I'm starting w this ask because I'm in the car for a few more hours and I don't wanna type the other ones out on mobile haha

I had a ton of ideas for Logan's library as I was getting further into Low Battery, but definitely not at the beginning, so the fun world building couldn't be incorporated because it wasn't exactly foreshadowed super great. In my defense, it was my very first time writing a multi chaptered anything. I'm honestly very extremely surprised that Low Battery turned out as good as it did lmao. How on earth did that fix turn out at all cohesive idk.

The library was thrown in as filler in the second chapter until I randomly remembered it while outlining like 6 chapters later and decided to make it the focal point of the fic. It resulted in a scene I am genuinely so proud of, and it opened the fic up to so many good scenes and topics. All because I threw it in willy nilly.

Anyway

Patton's room in canon is an extension of himself, his nostalgic and familial orientations, but it kinda works against him a bit. It's a powerful part of him, but also a foe. He mentions how it's hard to leave sometimes, and it takes the others waiting outside to motivate him enough to leave.

Logan's library is a bit like that. It's an extension of him, but not strictly a tool at his disposal, much like Patton's is in canon.

The library I call a memory library because I did not know what else I was gonna call it, even when it felt slightly off, because it's not a completely accurate name. The library houses the facts, rules, and understandings that Thomas has ammased over the years. The books are the exact memories when Thomas understand/discovered how a piece of the world works, but not just memories in general. Patton and Logan kinda share that stuff.

(but if I say that, then I can divide memory retention across all the sides, which I didn't consider until now. Virgil could house survival instinct, embarrassing moments, the things that keep you up at night, and the little fears and horrors from even childhood. Roman and Remus would have creative inspiration. Janus could keep scores and potential information for getting ahead. But then the whole concept becomes very abstract and bleeds into each other, which I don't hate. It would just have to be a looser concept that's spread and shared around the entire mind, which could be really cool either visually or even just internally and ... What was I talking about? I'm getting extremely distracted. Sorry. These always turn out so long whoops. Sorry Shadow, you can't ask me one question without receiving entire essays apparently)

The shelves house the books that hold every fact or rule that Thomas has aquired. Logan is kind of infused with all of that information. He doesn't necessarily need to enter the library to access the information, it's inside of him, he just has to sorta reach around for it or try and recall. He's probably got it linked to a computer or something I don't know haha

In the same way that Patton's occasionally dangerous use of nostalgia as a coping mechanism, Logan's library preys on curiosity, escapism, and the need for control.

The library temps with answers and understanding that will make the world make sense, offering a false sense of control and familiar facts. Or, simple curiosity. Logan suffers on both fronts within the library, and it frightens him.

The actual books are pretty simple. The book isn't always labeled, but you'll know. It contains the moment Tommy learned something. In Low Battery, Logan opens the book when Thomas begins to learn how paint, dyes, and flowers work. It would be the beginning of a series of books on the topic, so as Thomas learned more over the years, more books on the subject formed. Logan chose that one because he missed when Thomas was babey, so he chose the oldest one in the series.

It's not overly safe to stay in Logan's library for very long, as they discuss in the fic. Less because of the effect of Logan's library, much like the main canon rooms, but because it's hard to resist long enough to escape. The library desires for you to learn more and stay, so while certainly never quite impossible, it's very hard to get out. And even harder to ignore the call.

Logan had gotten stuck more than once, mostly when he was younger, trapped and unable to leave because the call of information was too strong no matter how badly he wanted to leave. The other sides have barely seen the inside. Save Roman and Janus, who both stepped inside once or twice. Logan refuses to talk about it.

The affect of the library doesn't grow stronger when you spend more time there, it's your own will that gets worn down from resisting.

Janus can't get in very well easily because of the way he manipulates the walls everywhere else, which the library doesn't love. Though he certainly struggle with the temptation of strategy and understanding the truth of old memories.

Roman was wary going in because he's easily swayed by enchanting memory, but he's more nostalgic and fantastical than purely curious.

Patton already struggles with nostalgia, and though different, the library is a counterpart that can loop him in.

Virgil I think struggles with escaping and is terrified of being so disoriented and lost in such a dangerous place.

Remus will chew the paper. So.

[9voltt]

Captain Catalynn's Guide to Galactic Conquest

Hyahaha! So ye wanna take over a galaxy, huh? Well, this here be the guide fer ye! This is how, I, Catalynn, The Absolute Captain of the Galactic Corsairs, would do it!

This is actually the first part of two of this here guide, which I deem: "The Fun way". So yeah, enough of that, here's what ye be fixin' to wanna do.

Step 1: Gather Yer Crew:

Ye can't conquer a galaxy without a crew of scurvy space dogs! Find the meanest, baddest, and craziest pirates ye can. Look for 'em in the darkest corners of the universe – asteroid belts, derelict space stations, and the seedy bars of outlaw planets. Promise 'em plunder, adventure, and the thrill of the chase!

Ye can also just enlist 'em by force, or raise them yerself, it ain't gotta be difficult. Just watch out fer betrayals.

Step 2: Get Yerself a Ship:

Not just any ship, mind ye. Ye need a flagship that's the terror of the starry seas! Customize it with the latest and greatest weapons and tools ye can get, and if ye can't, just make yer own damn guns. Get a science man to do it for ye or somethin'.

Also, don't forget the essentials – a hold big enough fer all yer loot, and quarters fer the crew that'll make 'em loyal fer life. And a trophy room, those are always cool.

Step 3: Map the Stars:

Knowledge be power, I didn't get my status just by bein' a power-hungry lunatic y'know. Get yer hands on star charts that show the hidden routes and secret stashes across the galaxy. Bribe, steal, or charm yer way into possession of the best maps available. Ye'll need 'em to navigate the vast expanse and find the most lucrative targets.

Space be really really big, so wanderin' around without aim ain't exactly ideal, but I ain't gonna stop you. Go wild, go explore, see what ye can find, make yer own adventure. That's what freedom's all about!

Step 4: Establish a Base:

Ye need a safe haven to repair, resupply, and revel in yer victories. Find an uncharted planet or a hidden moon, and make it yer fortress. Arm it to the teeth with whatever trash ye got lying around. Bonus points for decor, let it be known that this be YER stronghold! Hyahaha!

Step 5: Form Alliances:

Even a pirate needs friends sometimes. I kinda don't like wasting time on this step, but my First Mate really nags me about it.

So anyway, seek out other pirate factions, smugglers, and mercenaries. Form temporary alliances to take down bigger foes or to raid heavily defended targets. But, like I always say, trust no one fully – double-cross 'em before they double-cross ye! And remember that there be no witnesses if you kill everyone.

Step 6: Plunder and Pillage:

Now comes the really fun part! Start small by raiding merchant convoys and small colonies. Build up yer reputation as the scourge of the galaxy. Take what ye want and leave nothin' but ashes and fear in yer wake. The bigger the loot, the bigger the legend!

Ye also gotta learn when to give up though. Sometimes a place or target may be too dangerous, so running away is always a valid tactic. Just don't forget to cover yer tracks.

Step 7: Expand Yer Influence:

Once ye've made a name fer yerself, start taking over space stations and minor planets and stuff like that. Install yer loyal crew as governors and ensure they collect tribute in yer name. Spread yer influence through fear and favor, and soon ye'll have a network of loyal territories.

Step 8: Conquer Key Systems:

Identify the strategic systems – those with rich resources, advanced technology, or important trade routes. Launch coordinated attacks with yer fleet, overwhelming defenses and capturing the systems. Fortify 'em and use 'em as bases for further expansion. The ball is rollin', make sure it doesn't stop! Hyahaha!

Step 9: Spread Fear and Chaos:

Ye want the galaxy to tremble at the mere mention of yer name. Stage daring raids, broadcast yer victories, and make public examples of those who defy ye. Brutality is key. The more fear ye spread, the less resistance ye'll face. Make sure to have a kickass flag too, can't forget about that!

Step 10: Declare Yer Dominion:

When ye control enough of the galaxy, make yer grand proclamation! Announce yerself as the supreme ruler of the place, y'know. Celebrate with a galaxy-wide party – or a rampage, whatever suits yer fancy. From that point on, let it be known that the galaxy bows to YOU, my friend!

--------------------

Hyahaha! That be the fun way to conquer a galaxy. Remember, matey, it's not just about the destination, but the wild, riotous journey that gets ye there.

Stay tuned fer part two of this here guide, where Mads'll teach ye the "efficient" way, if ye be so inclined. Until then, happy conquerin'!

PS: Just in case some of y'all up 'n comin' captains get too big for yer britches - If you ever so much as a set sword in my territory I will eliminate all trace of you and your sorry crew by myself. Just keep that in mind before mindlessly taking over a place. Ok?

[tegu-the-tegu]

Dungeons and Dragons monsters (in a hardcore rap battle context)

We all know that the Gibbering Mouther is by far the most threatening monster in the context of a hardcore rap battle to the death, but how would other denizens of the monster manual fare?

Ankheg: While they are an imposing foe in the low levels, boasting both a bite attack that also grapples the target AND a mid range acid spray that can punish a party for poorly positioning themselves, they are sadly ill-prepared for a rap battle, given their lack of language, and low intelligence and charisma stats. They try their best, but even their most potent disses are crude and uninspired compared to your those of your average commoner. They might be able to spit acid, but they are sadly lacking when it comes to fire. Cloaker: Cloakers are devious combatants, both capable of flying silently at night, and disguising themselves as harmless pieces of clothing to allow them to better ambush their foes, and these abilities DEFINITELY make them a terrifying opponent in ANY lyrical combat scenario. You can expect them to hold back their most devastating lines, ever watchful for the perfect moment with which to devastate their enemy. This strategic approach also works well with their passive ability: Damage transfer. With this ability, the Cloaker can transfer 50% of the emotional damage you inflict upon them with your verse to anyone they are currently clinging to; you think that your diss about how they look like a ragged old coat is gonna be the deathblow, but wait! That implies whoever it's attached to looks to be WEARING a ragged old coat! That's 50% of your diss harming the wrong target! Finally, the most chilling ability of the Cloaker is their Phantasms; the ability to conjure THREE hype men to aid its cause! The crowd being against you is a death sentence in a rap battle, and the Cloaker knows it. ONLY challenge a Cloaker to a rap battle as a last resort, for they have exactly two languages, and both are filled with some of the most damning insults known to man!

Demilich: The Demilich is one of the most fearsome creatures, both in the game AND in a hardcore rap scenario, with soul-draining magics, incredible intelligence, and a deadly howl. However, while it is by no means an easy target, there ARE certain lines that are sure to work. For example: if you were to make a line about how they are just a head without a body (A subject many are quite sensitive about), you can guarantee a Demilich will lose their cool. While the Demilich is susceptible to bars about heads, bodies, and the like, they are FAR from helpless; they are perhaps the most aggressive battle rapper in the monster manual, with the ability to spit a curse at you as a legendary action. Finally, their most feared ability is their power to kill an enemy with a single line, an outcome that is almost impossible to pull a win out of. You'll try to act tough during your turn, but then you can guarantee they'll bring up the fact you died to their previous verse, and it'll destroy all your credibility.

Ettin: The Ettin is not terribly smart, nor witty, but can pull out a couple of zingers if you are ill-prepared. The key to defeating them in a rap battle is to play on their inherently argumentative and competitive nature, for the Ettin's greatest strength is ALSO their greatest weakness. By provoking their two heads against one another, you can easily make them end up spending more and more of their verses tearing each other down, rather than aiming for you. This is why it is IMPERITIVE to have a good rapport with your teammate before engaging in a tag team rap battle. One line that Ettins are quite fond of is incorporating "Two heads are better than one!" into the battle. You can guarantee that an Ettin will try to set up for it in their first verse, so be sure to plan accordingly.

Jackalwere: The shapeshifting Jackalwere is a tricky opponent. Expect them to shapeshift into you to mock various aspects of your appearance or voice. Sadly for the Jackalwere, however, its abilities do not lend itself to rap battles of ANY kind; their shapeshifting will not earn them any points, because they would be taking on the very traits they are mocking, and the skin-deep nature of the insults would only cause lasting emotional damage if they hit on a topic you are particularly sensitive about. Furthermore, their ability to lull a victim to sleep with a glance is not going to help them. If anything, it'll look like their verse was so dull it put you to sleep, and there is no coming back from that. That said, they do have pack tactics, so expect them to try to tag in their squad if they get backed into a corner.

[greatrunner]

"Demon Commander! Lanfear's Fierce Attack!"

Okay, I lied, and watched the first four episodes of season two instead of going to sleep for work... the week before last.

Things I wasn't expecting:

Mat being recast with some blockhead instead of keeping the guy who looks like a discount "That Actor from the Umbrella Academy"? What gives?

Team Red has a son, and not a side-piece. The show is trying really, really hard not to let her fall into the generic Foe Yay, and I can appreciate that.

There's a whole group of people with nasty fingernail hygrine, big into slavery. That's... unfortunate.

Moraine's arc at the moment is eating dirt from all the people she was less than kind or empathetic to. I kinda love it all while feeling bad for her.

Her sister felt abandoned and therefore disowned her. She gave Moraine the opportunity to just talk and reconnoiter with her, but when it was apparent that she was just gonna do as she pleased and potentially threatened the life she built, she pulled rank.

Despite giving her space, and dealing with the loss of connection, Lan tries to remain Moraine's partner, and gets a taste of the behavior the Ronin Warriors had to deal with when Moraine wasn't being forthright or outright lying to them. The clinch, though, was Moraine telling Lan he was just her jobber, not her equal.

And it's hard to feel bad for him in that moment, because, when it wasn't him on the receiving end of her shadiness, he never called her on it in way that wasn't half-hearted, or making excuses. And without Moraine to play jobber to, Lan as a character is probably less interesting than he was as the bodyguard.

Like, I can definitely see him becoming an stronger character (he's got a backstory with potential), but as it stands, it feels like the story is just keeping him on pause until it's time to throw the band back together. And then what? Awkward silence and some apologies that won't actually be apologies?

Lan, and the other Warders (and their girlfriend, Team Green) underline just how not interesting I find the whole "bond" storytelling. There's a lot telling you about the bond, how it transcends all normal romantic or platonic relationships. But the showing aspect of it all just makes it look like a normal relationship, or a less interesting version of The Bodyguard without one iota of that Costner/Huston chemistry.

Considering Moraine and Lan's dynamic, it's hard not see it as "Master and Servant" (esp. with the racial dynamics at play). To that end, the unfortunate and racist implications already at play in the series are at their worst within the Warder/Channeler dynamic.

The discussion between Lan and that non-malicious Black guy reinforces the idea that they weren't "equals" to their partners ("We're here to remind them they're not Gods!"). It's just... not great.

Again, all of this sounds exactly like something a white dude would come up with when creating his idea of a world where women have the 'most power' and guys who share that same position, are driven mad. Amazon Prime just made it worse with their spin on the Colorblind casting wheel. Like, sheesh.

Beyond Lan, one of my biggest problems with this series so far is maybe the lack of a dynamic between the five major leads. Allow me to regale you with examples from two Children's anime.

There's this thing anime used to, where in an ensemble series, the characters spent x-amount of episodes together before separating them. It was a proven formula that worked sometimes, and failed others.

Digimon: Digital Monsters made it as far as eight episodes before the Big Breakup. Before that each episode gave its characters a "focus episode". Ronin Warriors's break up was the following episode (one that's notorious for the sudden recasting of some of its English VA leads).

The show's story points lived and died by how much the writing could convince us that these characters cared abut enough about other to want find each other again.

In the case of Digimon, preaching the message of togetherness and teamwork makes their estrangement work to the advantage of the plot. The English dub manufacture's a tenuous familiarity with each character, but being trapped in the Digital World forces them to actually work together.

Both and after the separation, their circumstances demand that they get to know each other along the way. Not just for the benefit of the audience, but to the benefit of all seven (then eight) kids and their monster companions.

Ronin Warriors, on the other hand, has always been more about the individual journey and their relationship to the mystical armor (born from the corpse of their enemy, Talpa IIRC. It's been 10 years since I watched it last ;_;).

The show also didn't hide the fact that Ryō, Rowen, Cye, Kento, and Sage didn't know each other from Adam. Hell, it really doesn't even go into the origin story of how they got their armor like Sailor Moon did with the Sailor Scouts their and transformation wands.

From the jump, the boys know more than the audience. Talpa's the bad guy, the Netherrealm is something they have to protect the world (but mostly Japan) from. Their mentor is the Ancient One, a "Stupid Monk" (Talpa, derogatory) who fought Talpa eons ago.

What they're not expecting is four dudes (the Dark Warlords) with far more experience and power than themselves. They're a bunch of teenage boys who try to upstage each other and aren't interested in working together is their fatal flaw.

Ronin Warriors, however individual focused it tends to be, also features unity as a big theme of the show. Their separation and subsequent Side Questing to find each other is more about the practicalities of their job (if they don't work together than evil wins).

Their relationships were something they built along the way, right until the end of the series. It was formula that worked so well, they repeated it in some fairly subpar (and racist*) OVAs (Gaiden, Legend of the Inferno Armor*, and Message) with diminishing returns. But they're also the only time in the franchise (excluding Message) where the Ronin's feel like true friends, so go-figure.

To keep running with this comparison, Wheel of Time clearly aspires to be about a group of people. Right now, it's far more focused on the aesthetics of being an Epic Fantasy. From the start of S2 alone, there have been more new characters and more new locations thrown at the audience than a little bit. None of seems to be to the benefit of the story so much as it's to match the lore output of something like, again, Game of Thrones (which had years, film length runtimes, and more than 8 episodes) or, Grandaddy Tolkien's Legendarium.

Season one never really allowed any of the characters to actually be friends or casual acquaintances. Individual characters weren't so much given arcs as they were given archetypal roles to occupy in the "Kill the Dark Lord" Boss Rush.

In principle, Wheel of Time Ronin Warrior'ing Individual storylines isn't a bad thing, but it ain't working what little ensemble dynamics that show built. It just hopes you buy all these people are friends and miss each other. Because Mat, his abandonment of the group, and how little he impacts the plot, kinda says it doesn't work. Not for me.

Rand's character feels like he's in a holding pattern until the story finally reaches a point to where the madness-included powers are necessary. It's kinda like watching Anakin Skywalker if he wasn't a self-involved jerk who leapt at every chance to avoid accountability, blame other people, and committing to the principles of his job.

Rand is allowed to focus on someone other than his not-girlfriend, namely himself. I feel like the buzz cut drives that home. No more Fantasy Romance Guy, he's in his Vader era. Even his relationship with the tavern owner is way more engaging.

Nynaeve's story arc is definitely more about the individual than it is the group. Her whole thing is that she doesn't consider herself, and mammy's everybody. She doesn't trust anybody and figures she is the only qualified person for the job. (I feel called out.)

Combine that deep-seated trauma and abandonment issues, and you got a story comparable to Ryō trying to learn how to master Hariel's White Inferno Armor. Or Gohan reaching SS2. A lot of false starts, and just like Rand's deal with his powers, none of that stuff is really interesting.

The moment she snaps right better pop the fuck off just like the aforementioned or I'm gonna be salty. DDOS is not fun.

The show wants to build a relationship between her and Team Red, who, not the surprise no one, is evil. I'm not against it, but I also can't really buy that Red would be that distraught over potentially losing her to a Last Crusade test when so much of their dynamic was developed off-screen. Did she really spend that much time with Mat that she couldn't dedicate time to mentoring her on the low before she actually got permissions? Sounds like Chickadee making excuses.

I need someone in this group to be the non-magic Tank, and I was ready for Nynaeve to turn her back on the white tower nonsense and return home. I really liked that story turn. It was a choice she made for herself, and not for anyone else, and hey, it even gave Lan something to do (become her House Husband, lmao). So for it to turn out to be an illusion where she got more than one Get-out-of-Jail-Free card? Disappointing.

On the flip-side, the other gal (Moraine's No. 1 Fan), and Princess Not-Killing-Eve gets stuck with the Harry Potter plot. I hate how fantasy narratives reinforce and indulge this storyline. The "Bully the Main Character into Becoming a Proficient Learner" trope with lower-than-low treatment and work around a school that doesn't pay them much respect as human beings. I've never been interested in that storytelling because it requires that the lead become an emotional doormat in a lot of situations.

This gets abruptly interrupted, of course, with Red's Heel Turn, and their subsequent enslavement. This particular story turn isn't doing the character any favors, and just feels like way to put the characters back into the Globe Trotting subplot. Nynaeve's a blockhead, but the shit that last episode pulled was embarrassing.

Perrin's storyline doesn't feel all that engaging. The show rarely checks in on Perrin in the five episodes aired, he truly feels like an afterthought. The show finally gets around to focusing on his powers as a "Wolfbrother", a guy who communicates with wolves. There's a new minor Black character who saves him from certain slavery, the Ascended Wolfbrother.

AW isn't a particularly interesting character, but he's not terrible either. He's got some good moments with Perrin with regards to mentoring him, but he's your rote "Ugh, Humanity" type characters. He exists just to tell Perrin he's "running away" from his destiny because Perrin isn't:

Just blindly going along with AW's plans

Doesn't appreciate being lied to

Doesn't appreciate his relationships diminished on account of their humanity.

Out of all the characters, Perrin's Random Enemy/Ally Encounters seems to highlight what I really don't like about most Fantasy worlds. Every character, culture, or world, begins to sound like abstract names for Football Teams, with everyone's disdain stemming from being on opposing teams.

It's clear that Wheel of Time plans on stretching much of its story out with Talpa's Evil Warlords getting the Gang Back Together to free Talpa. Instead of hyper-focusing on "that one special person who might not be who you expected" like GOT did with Jon and Arya, the audience instead will be treated with what's shaping up to be an MMO quest log.

Daughter of the Night (Lady Kayura), Father of Lies (Anubis) are two quest lines completed. I know there's lie seven of these hoes, but I guess the next couple of seasons will be about Dias, Kale, and Sekhmet.

Unless the show surprises me, which it has done plenty of, in which case... we'll see.

Forever laughing at the fact that the guy who got drunk on the Game Awards (or was that his brother), and was in A Way Out, is "The Father of Lies". But was also in Westworld as some random jobber with a tablet.

Shade, no shade. But, like how does bro keep landing these gigs?

[crystalelemental]

Another F2P clear, and I think it's time to talk about why some common units are a problem.

Vs. Marshal BP Janine, who I actually love dearly for her buffing kit, is like...wildly inconsistent. Mostly because she cannot take a hit worth beans, and if you don't dodge, she will drop like a sack of shit. Legitimately, this is my only complaint with BP Janine. I think Endurance would've changed her life completely to being one of the best units available F2P. Without it, she's just so easily two-shot that it really hinders her survival. It doesn't help that, if she drops, Koga doesn't have the DPS to handle center before sync, and none of them survive it. It's just a very luck-based clear that, unfortunately, illustrates that while you can miss a perfect accuracy move 17 times at -1 accuracy, your foe will hit you with an 80% accurate move at +3 evasion no problem every time. Because computers have to cheat to win.

Vs. Shauntal Cyrus and Winona are perfect, they can do no wrong. It's mostly Drake. The defense buffing and Team Sharp Entry are nice for a unit like Cyrus, who gets pretty much everything he wants, and one-shots the sides under Rain. But also Drake's lack of healing makes him so frail. If it weren't for how strong Cyrus was, Drake would not last.

Vs. Caitlin While I have started to respect BP Sophocles, I find his issues to be fairly apparent. Mostly in that, he wants BP Surge for perfect offensive setup, but he needs BP Clemont for survival given recoil and the inevitable AoE spam after center drops. Using just BP Clemont means Sophocles has to spend three turns buffing, and he's not quite good enough to justify that in all scenarios. Using just BP Surge means getting barreled over, because he's wildly frail, and Endurance is nice but not sufficient to keeping him alive. And even with both, gauge issues exist, because you want Screech off of Clemont, can run out of MP moves for Surge who now has to attack, and Sophocles needs three gauges to hit a foe. He's strong enough to get the job done, but I feel like maybe I need to re-examine his partners.

Vs. Grimsley Bugsy can't one-shot Grimsley on second sync. I feel like that tells you all you needed to know. Bugsy deals like 17k with -6 defense, and it's not even enough. That's...wild to me. Like, before the advent of SC Train Bros, I'm struggling to figure out how people handled Snarl + Thunder Wave + tons of HP on a Bug-weak stage. Lusamine and Burgh are actively hindered, and Guzma isn't exactly a prime candidate for EX, not that his damage on sync would've been much better than Bugsy here. I dunno. This one suddenly seems tougher to me than it once did. Anyway, Nanu's out here earning his S-tier, because the solution was to flinch Grimsley before Thunder Wave and stall out a bit so Bugsy could hit him. I hit him twice. Turns out the magic number was thrice. Thank god for quad queueing.

Vs. Alder Okay. It is finally time. Roark! You have proven yourself in the crucible of battle (Moltres fight), but now you will be tested once more. Can you handle the Champion Stadi-oh, 30k on sync. Yeah, he's good guys, checks out. Legitimately, I feel like we kinda overkilled this stage. I brought Kangaskhan for Leer support, but also as a secondary flinch bot, just for funsies. Lodge Blue is decently tanky against physical hits, but this is Volcarona so...oops. Roark 100% has the fire-power to clear this stage. I want to be clear, it is not even close. He obliterates it. If he had EX, this would be disgusting. Without it, it's still a complete dunk on the offensive set. So long as his support can cap crit, and give a little extra attack, he wins. The big question is whether his tank can survive. And the best survival is not taking damage, so two flinch bots under the "boosted secondary effects of attacks" condition means no threat. Hey, don't blame me. The game handed me the parameter, I'm gonna dunk on a fool.

[tlacehualli]

META   + hobbies.

tactical rpgs/games

She likes to game, but not in a Hana way - it's not the thing that takes up most of her time, she's not making any money from it. Regardless, ever since she and her siblings tried to crack Fire Emblem when she was a kid, Sombra's had a particular fondness for tactical rpgs. It's sort of in line with her skillset; her life now is mostly about procuring different chess pieces and moving them around in order to get what she wants and to protect herself from what she needs to. Tactical rpgs are what taught her that; good movement, prediction, baiting, knowing one's capabilities as well as the capabilities of their foes. Plus, it's fun and sucks up hours of time if she's ever feeling particularly bored and doesn't have to be too cognizant. The skills there somewhat translate to MOBAs but not exactly, and translate to turn based RPGs fairly well, but outside of those, she's not very interested.

old tech/machines

In spite of - or maybe because of - how adept she is with pretty much anything that has a microchip and some code in it, Sombra is particularly fond of both old tech and machinery. It's different. Old tech - rotary phones, old cars, old video game systems - feel like they have an incredible amount of character to her and are trickier for her to command given the simplicity of their code and the space available to them in terms of storage and RAM. They're simple, so she has to keep her commands simple. Machinery, on the other hand, is powered nearly entirely by natural law; there's no way for her to hack an engine and make it operate past maximum efficiency or something like that. It's tech that's far more physical in nature and thus outside of her purview, so she is fascinated by it. She may not be a mechanic, but if you're working on an engine, she's gonna wanna watch and try to help.

mind altering substances

Being a somewhat decent enough person working for a worldwide criminal organization brings with it some psychological stresses - on top of the fact she daily carries the brunt of the guilt for Widowmaker's state, and the constant pressure of The Eye, well. There are many times in her life when she wants to drown it all out with a mind altering substance of some form or another. It's usually alcohol now that she's older but when she was younger, there were all sorts of things she tried. It's a good bit of fun, especially when you have an AI in your head that can keep you from accidentally doing something really really stupid. Honestly, anything that can take her out of her usual mental space is a relief - that can be song and dance too, although that's usually aided by alcohol to some degree. Just having a night out of the week where she can just feel alive is good. Maybe not as good as a therapist, but, it's not like she can ever really talk to one without lying her ass off. So this will do.

chisme

As possessive as she is with truths about herself - and she has to be because she's scared of dying about it - she is far more lenient when it comes to other people's privacy. Hell, it doesn't exist really. Even Widow has a wall of surveillance around her, though that's more out of protectiveness and care than someone like Cole, who she thinks is extremely funny to keep track of. Honestly, knowing other people's business is just really funny and entertaining. There's a certain glee she gets from knowing someone's true motivations, or that embarrassing thing they did last week that they don't want anyone to know. Also extremely useful if they're particularly annoying and she wants them to do something else - a little blackmail never hurt anybody. Alternatively, set up a kill for the Widow if she discovers something extremely heinous. She's not a murderer, but she's not against putting someone in the path of certain danger.

[talesofsonicasura]

LMK Sun Wukong and Macaque with MK's Parent

Another potential poly with these monkeys? Yep. I like experimenting using this particular dynamic especially when it comes to the scenarios that stem from it.

Like with MK's Guardian, you aren't really a normal person. What are you in this? You'll find out soon enough. This can be read gender neutral or preferred gender. Enjoy.

After some time, you were finally returning home to your precious son, Qi Xiaotian or MK. The boy you raised from infancy after finding him in a basket outside your abode.

You see, your homeland wasn't exactly a great place to raise a human child so there been times where squashing any 'pests' became necessary. Luckily, you manage to find a place in Megapolis after he turned 8. A human identity already prepared for the both of you.

It has been a year since you left to deal with some personal business back in your homeland. Enough time for your pup to get tangled in the supernatural.

Pigsy had told you about everything which transpired while you were gone. That MK became the successor of Sun Wukong and have been fighting his foes to learning magic for the past few weeks. What the bloody hell?!

Your son is a strong young man and you have faith in his abilities. However, this feels too much especially without your personal opinion. You were going to need a deep blood wine for this fiasco. Too damn sober.

Luckily, finding the mischievous little imp that is your son wouldn't be difficult. The perks of being part of a species that are intertwined with blood.

Which is how you found MK crafting a breakfast nook while his mentor is busy eating peach chips... Cheeky bastard. The stench of blood came from underneath your pup's clothing. The shadow magic on his back being enough to stir your protective nature.

Sun Wukong could barely do anything when his apprentice suddenly disappeared in a whirlwind of crystal bats. Your son not even blinking before he found himself in bed and his parent staring him down. He knew he was in trouble upon getting the 'Look'.

The two of you ended up in a deep conversation while his bloody bruises got treated. How the Monkey King had not been taking his training seriously as of late and how he went to someone else instead. Unaware that his new mentor, Macaque, had put a magic draining seal on him.

It seems some payback was in order as you began to plot. The shadow monkey waiting for his 'apprentice' at a secluded mountain top upon receiving word that MK needed a bigger training spot.

So when Macaque went to steal his powers, he nor the arriving Sun Wukong didn't expect MK to knock him away like a fly. Or for the young man to disperse into a storm of crystalline bats and the giant monster to come out.

You were never human. The truth is you were a very powerful Demon Beast that went under many names. 'Ruler of the Night', 'Vampire King' (you prefer Lord than King as it suits your preference better) but mainly the name of your species, GranDracmon.

The real MK currently sitting at home with his eyes on the TV. A special broadcast of you rightfully teaching two monkeys to never mess with an ancient Digimon's cub. Quite a show it'll be.

Sun Wukong and Macaque were going to return to their homes with a lot of bruises and ice burns as you never gave them a chance to even move. 'Eye of the Gorgon' being a nice way to make sure they took their hits.

You left both monkeys halfway encased in crystal with 'Crystal Revolution' before returning to your son. The crystal not being too thick so it'll take a few minutes for them to break out. Nice cherry on top is taping a letter to their faces handwritten by MK.

Neither monkey yaoguai are gonna to have a good time crossing your son again. Cause the Demon Beast that is his parent just returned. After all, you've been wanting a chance to try some Six Eared Macaque and stone monkey blood for quite some time.

This time MK has quit training with the Monkey King if you want to know what the letter is. But yep, you are a Digimon for this one specifically GranDracmon.

When it comes to headcanons that involve a fight with Sun Wukong and Macaque, the chosen role will always be something that can fight them.

Like the Auditor, GranDracmon will also give the Monkey King a tough time. One main reason being 'Eye of the Gorgon'. An attack that uses the inner darkness of a target to snare them in a hypotonic and disorienting state. Something that usually leads to the Digimon version of Confusion in game standards.

There's also the fact that GranDracmon boasts enough power that demon lords embodying the Seven Deadly Sins rather not mess with em. Yeah, the Digimon version of Lucifer Morningstar rather not fight this mon.

Until next time folks, we'll see what Sun Wukong and Macaque would do next. I'll see you back at Megapolis. This is GranDracmon btw.

[the-insomniac-emporium]

I love your writing.

if it's not too much trouble may i make a request? I'm thinking the Dimitrescu women meeting and/or courting a fellow immortal.

the circumstances of the immortal's powers and possession of immorality are entirely up to you. I just like the idea of them meeting someone they could literally spend forever with...because they deserve it ❤

I wasn't sure if you wanted a story or headcanons? I went with HCs, here, but if you wanted more of a drabble or whatever just lemme know and I'll write something like that.

Also, I got excited and carried away so this has the whole Dimitrescu family, plus shorter ones for both Mother Miranda and Donna. Admittedly Alcina's is also a little on the shorter side? I tried to write everything that came to mind, but I am kinda tired right now, sorry. Might reblog this and add some more later.

(Under read-more for length)

Cassandra:

Tries (and fails) to hide her excitement. Mortality is one of the bigger things that has made her keep her distance to others, at least in the past. Every Maiden she’s ever been the slightest bit smitten with, up until this point, has been incredibly fragile. Seeing as she’s not exactly the softest person, one can easily imagine why that would be a turn off for her. But now that’s no longer a problem!

On the other had… having an immortal partner gives Cassandra pause. Why? Because what if they breakup? Normally, she can just, ahem, “dispose” of any exes (regardless of how much it hurts) so she doesn’t have to see them/deal with them anymore. If that’s not an option, she’ll definitely take longer than usual to do anything about her feelings. She wants to be sure, 100%, before she gets in over her head. Chances are she won’t hold back for as long as she wants though.

Likely to have a loud, messy confession. She’ll have been avoiding you for a few days, always ducking out of whatever rooms you enter, leaving you both hurt and confused. After enlisting the help of her sisters, you’ll be able to corner her outside. She’ll tell you, under no uncertain circumstances, to leave her alone. But you’ll refuse, demanding an explanation.

“I thought we had something. I thought you cared,” you’ll snap, eyes watering. “If that’s changed… if I was wrong, just tell me. I’ll leave and I’ll never come back.” Cue thunder and raining (because tropes) and Cassandra dramatically pulling you into a kiss, holding you so tightly you think you might bruise. Then she’s demanding that you stay, refusing to apologize but making it clear just how much she does care.

Being immortal, you’re not as defenseless as some of Cassandra’s past interests. Naturally, she doesn’t get quite as protective as she normally would. She’ll still have your back no matter what, ready to fight by your side against any foe, and will probably consider doing so a “fun bonding activity”. Oh, some lycans are encroaching on Dimitrescu territory? Time to go destroy them, as a power couple!

Despite having all the time in the world, Cassandra won’t change much of her actual courting behavior, nor the rate at which things advance. She’s still gonna get handsy fairly early on, still gonna “rah!” at you in the hallways, and still going to struggle with her jealousy.

Immortality Compatibility: I can see Cassandra going for another vampire (or vampire adjacent) creature, or someone demonic. She likes her lovers a bit rough, with some nice bite to their personalities. If you’ve got sharp teeth, or claws, or glowing eyes? Oh boy, she’s gonna be making heart eyes at you all the time.

Bela:

If your immortality isn’t immediately obvious, Bela is over the moon with joy when she finds out. Her eyes will go wide for a moment, before she tries to seem calm (so as to not freak you out), but her heart is pounding. This is what she’s been hoping for. As much as Mother Miranda has done for her family, there’s no guarantee that she’d be willing to give more. Even if Miranda granted Bela’s lover her “gift”, there was no telling what the results would be, or if the lover would survive. Now that there’s no need for such a transformation, it’s far easier for Bela to imagine herself in love (and eventually be in love).

Slow-burn romance over a decade or longer, oops. Doesn’t even necessarily mean to take things so slowly, just doesn’t feel a need to rush things, preferring that they develop organically. With both of you having unlimited time, you’re both used to working on a very large timescale. Maidens watching the two of you probably place bets on how long it’ll take you to hold hands for the first time. Everyone knows it’s coming, but no matter how much Cassandra and Daniela complain, Bela refuses to jump into things. By the time the two of you are officially together, you’re probably madly in love with each other.

More protective than Cassandra, if only because she knows just how rare you are. Immortal or not, you likely still have a weakness, and Bela will do everything in her power to make sure no one else knows what it is. If applicable, she will also ensure she has a countermeasure readily available. For example: If you were weak to fire, she’d make sure that the castle keeps extinguishers handy, just in case. Though they should probably already do that. Not that the Dimitrescu family cares much for OSHA compliance.

Somehow grows more in love with you with every passing year, and makes sure that you know this. Whether you’ve been together for one year or one century (because in this house we ignore canon), she’s always performing little acts of love, giving constant reminders of how strongly she feels. Gifts, special dates, book recommendations, etc.

Immortality Compatibility: Bela seems like the type to go for someone with a calming presence, and perhaps somewhat of a contrast to herself. I can picture her with someone somewhat angelic, or druidic, someone very in tune with nature. She’d love to feed deer with you and relax in the forest! Or lay against a tree by your side, listening to you talk about various microorganisms for hours at a time.

Daniela:

Practically tackles you when she finds out/connects the dots. This is just like one of her romance novels, where a lonely (attractive as fuck) immortal spends years in isolation before finally meeting the love of their life, who they get to spend the rest of eternity with. Absolutely ecstatic about the whole situation. Won’t stop kissing you and pulling you close, rambling about how great it’s gonna be to spend your lives together. Honestly? Kind of overwhelming. You might have to remind her a few times that you don’t have to rush into things, considering you have all the time in the world.

Introduces you to people as her “super cool/rad immortal life partner”. Genuinely cannot bring herself to not brag about you. If her sisters haven’t found someone like you yet, you can bet that Daniela will tease them about it all the time (much to their annoyance). If Momma Alcina doesn’t, though? Dani will keep her thoughts to herself, thank you very much (being grounded at her age does not impress the s/o).

Tries not to show it, but she’s actually very nervous. You’re immortal! You’ve probably seen a lot of shit (she certainly has)! Worries about keeping you interested in her, though she would never admit it. This tends to lead to her performing ridiculous acts to showcase her affection, regardless of the cost or, like, whether or not you’d even enjoy whatever she has planned. In order to counter her anxiety, you’ll want to reassure her whenever you can, and give her plenty of “I love you”s.

Strikes a decent balance between Cassandra’s nonchalant attitude and Bela’s protectiveness. Will defend you if you need it, playing up the romantic aspect, but also entirely willing to hide behind you in a scary situation.

Immortality Compatibility: Having probably read Twilight… Dani would date a werewolf, as long as they weren’t the smelly kind. Also interested in a sort of “magical”/elemental type, especially if their powers are influenced by emotions. In other words, if someone flirts with her in front of you, and your response is to subconsciously light your hands/the other person on fire? She thinks that’s hot, pun intended.

Alcina:

“Oh? Interesting,” she’d say, smiling softly (and trying to ignore the heat rushing to her face). Similarly to Cassandra, she’d try to play it off, not wanting to seem too excited. And, well, she’s not as excited as any of her daughters are. After all, she’s had more time than them to “get used” to the idea of outliving any potential romantic interests. So, she’s not exactly desperate for a relationship, even with someone she could spend an eternity with.

That being said, if she is romantically interested in them, she’s very relieved. Outliving a loved one can be incredibly traumatizing (fuck you c*pcom, you know what you did), and knowing that you’re safe (or at least safer than most) brings her no small amount of comfort.

Also, just glad to have another person close to her age around. Her daughters are somewhat stuck as young adults, and I imagine Alcina would want someone who gained immortality a little later in life, such as herself, as opposed to, ya know, reminding her of her children. That probably goes without saying. Hopefully.

More so than her daughters, Alcina would change her level of protectiveness depending on her s/o’s power level. If you’re a shapeshifter who can also turn into a big ass dragon? Then she’s not going to coddle you. If you’re immortal but still vulnerable, then she’s going to do her best to keep you safe, even going so far as to enlist the assistance of her daughters. “If you see a single Maiden growing mistletoe, or bringing some in from the village, let me know immediately,” or something like that, depending on your weakness.

Immortality Compatibility: Definitely would want someone in a situation similar to herself, having once been truly human, only to be “elevated” by something. Bonus points if you’re another disciple of Miranda, double bonus points if Miranda specifically “made” you to be Alcina’s boo/honey/darling/dear.

Bonus! Mother Miranda:

Oh god finally someone who won’t leave her (can’t leave her). No one can take you away from her, and that’s a relief that she’s been craving for over a century. Even if romance isn’t high on her priority list, she welcomes it with open arms, glad to have someone by her side through all of life’s chaos.

Admittedly slow to trust at first, probably just using you as a tool at first. But prove yourself enough, show that your devotion is more than just misdirected self-interest, and she’ll start to warm up to you. Forming a real relationship would likely take a couple decades, similar to with Bela. Once you are together, however, the two of you are inseparable in all matters.

You’d be her #1 follower, most trusted adviser, and the only person allowed to understand 100% of her thoughts and motives. While Miranda wouldn’t allow you to be seen as the same level as her (sorry), you’d still be a legend among the villagers. To them, you’re Mother Miranda’s champion, the epitome of a devoted follower that they all aspire to emulate. Not that they know the two of you are a couple, though.

Immortality Compatibility: No gimmicks, no cheap tricks, she wants (and respects) a fellow scientist, someone who clawed their way through adversity and forged themselves into something indestructible. Double the interest if you did so for a similar cause to her own, as she would appreciate your ability to relate to her suffering.

Bonus! Donna:

Someone to play with! FOREVER! No more losing people she cares about, no more accidentally breaking people, no more people scrambling to leave. Now that she has you, she can finally spend some quality time with another (living?) person. Honestly her dolls (or at least Angie) are just as excited as she is. Regardless of her relations with the other three Lords, Donna much prefers the company of a lover.

For real though she’s shy as hell and you might not even realize who’s pulling the strings until you’ve been in her house for over a year. She’d probably use her powers to trap you inside, at least at first, though they’d be nice hallucinations. You’d have to treat the dolls nicely, especially Angie, before she’d let you interact with her.

Eventually you’d be allowed to leave, and you’d be given a key to return whenever you wanted to. Assuming that you do, in fact, come back, the two of you would have a very, very slow romance, if only because of Donna’s anxiety. Hand holding makes both of your faces turn beet red, seriously.

Immortality Compatibility: *chanting* GHOST GIRLFRIEND GHOST GIRLFRIEND POLTERGEIST PARTNER POLTERGEIST PARTNER WOOHOO! Something with a flexible, only-sometimes-tangible form, who absolutely could have left at any time but didn’t because they wanted to stay.

[shortpplfedup]

Tempering extremities with extreme sweet Bad Buddy Episode 2

Now Romeo is beloved and loves again, Alike betwitched by the charm of looks, But to his foe supposed he must complain, And she steal love's sweet bait from fearful hooks: Being held a foe, he may not have access To breathe such vows as lovers use to swear; And she as much in love, her means much less To meet her new-beloved any where: But passion lends them power, time means, to meet Tempering extremities with extreme sweet.

Is it technically correct to call Bad Buddy a romance? After all, this isn't exactly a story about Pat and Pran falling in love; they are already there. In this episode, Pat and Pran spend the majority of their time flirting with each other while everybody around them picks ugly fights, and things start descending into chaos on both fronts.

OUR ROMEO AND THE FAIR JULIET

My only love sprung from my only hate! Too early seen unknown, and known too late! Prodigious birth of love it is to me, That I must love a loathed enemy.

I said it last week and I'll probably say it every week: these two are SPRUNG. They cannot see or speak to each other without dropping some barely-veiled innuendo, making 'jokes' which are basically 'you totally wanna date me right? HEH HEH' or putting hands on each other somehow. Things are heating up rapidly, and because Pat and Pran already started out so near the boil in terms of the feelings soup they've been sitting in for years, it's not gonna take much for things to spill over. I'm pretty sure they were about to make out on that bed if the real estate lady hadn't interrupted them. Stupid real estate lady.

THE KINSMEN

If they do see thee, they will murder thee...I would not for the world they saw thee here.

The engineers are being real jackasses this episode. Between acting a fool at Wai's job and being completely ready and willing to harass who they think is the girl across the hall into going out with Pat, I fully supported them getting their asses beat this week and the architects delivered. Everything has gone too far now though, that fight was pretty brutal and their destruction of the fake 'neutral zone' was total and complete. These boys are gonna get themselves not just kicked out but seriously hurt if somebody doesn't put a stop to this soon. Pat and Pran are trying to lower the temperature, both by keeping the gangs away from each other and by cooling the rhetoric but neither of them has really had that sorely needed 'cut it OUT' talk with their friends. Pat especially shoulda nipped that shit at the bar with Wai in the bud but he was laughing along. That's probably gonna come back and bite him.

THE HOUSES OF MONTAGUE AND CAPULET

Thou shalt not stir a foot to seek a foe.

Ouch, ouch ouch. A plague on both your houses. These people really hate each other, and their children are suffering because of it. Pat and Pran feel responsible for the pain their parents inflict any time they show even a tiny indication that they might not hate each other, but the only way to avoid it all is to exit each other's lives and it's becoming clear that they can't do that. Pran getting transferred really shook them both, they obviously missed each other. The best they can do is to stay at a safe distance; after all having each other at arm's length is better than not having each other at all. Pran and then Pat offering to move out, and then neither actually doing so is pretty much them deciding to say screw it, but very very carefully. There is still a line there, and while they are definitely dancing on it they're aware that it's there and they know the penalty for crossing it.

Commentary from the Chorus:

I have been feasting with mine enemy, Where on a sudden one hath wounded me, That's by me wounded: both our remedies Within thy help and holy physic lies: I bear no hatred, blessed man, for, lo, My intercession likewise steads my foe.

Paa really is Pat and Pran's only ally, and the only person who refuses to get pulled into the various feuds and conflicts. So far she is Pat's sounding board, but I really need to see her interact with Pran because Pat has her but Pran doesn't have anyone and he is HURTING.

The family feud is explained as between the two dads first, but Pran's mom and Pat's dad seem to be the ones most intensely involved and I hope the speculation about this all having something to do with them having a past together is not the direction this is going in. I feel like that would be unnecessarily complicated.

In the novel Pat is the flirt and the aggressor, but in the show things are much more even-handed and I like that. Pran is giving as good as he gets, probably even more so. They're both cocky and a bit cheeky and it's a good energy. I'm starting to understand how the bet happens.

I cannot say enough about Ohm and Nanon's acting and the chemistry they're able to generate, there are sparks flying everywhere!