#not in nov 5th levels but still

[wisefoxluminary]

The actors strike is over, GTA 5 was announced, Shrek 5 release date leaked, Legend of Zelda movie was announced, Omegle gets shut down, Ghostbusters Frozen Empire trailer is released, First posters for The Boys S4 drop and Frank Ocean previews new music. Man, November 8th was quite the day wasn't it.

[avissapiens]

Avis Abstraction #6: Gym buds

You are now friends with Mason Reed. You can now message and call each other and see info like Active Status and when you've read messages.

                                         Oct 26th 2044

Me: Hey bro Mason: Heyyy dude haha. Nice to finally meet you Me: Same. ngl i was kinda scared about signing up for the abyss. Thought they’d hook me up with someone i couldn’t vibe with.

Mason: lol. Yh i’m chill. Tho you’re lucky. I didn’t even know about that weird chip thing. Shit hurt when they put it in. did you feel like…tingles too?Me: Yh i did. Was kinda like getting an electric shock but good?? Mason: Weird. Guess we’re gym buds now tho. Can’t wait til we can workout. My weeks a little packed but i’ll defo hit you up when i’m headed to The abyss Me: Sweet dude. We can hash out our split and everything another time. Mason: For sure bro.

                                      Oct 29th 2044 Me: Yo dude, are you on your way to the gym? Mason: yeah actually. I just got off work and thought i’d do a really quick chest workout. How’d you know haha? Me: Idk..i just kinda felt it. Maybe that’s one of the chip functions? No clue. I’m already on my way now tho if you wanna train together Mason: Damn dude yeah i’d love that! So strange, as soon as you said that I got super hyped up. Me: Awesome bro. I’m like 5 mins away. You get warmed up and I’ll chug some preworkout.

Oct 30th 2044 Mason: dude what days do you train? I’m thinking bout changing up my work schedule so i can gym more. Last night was the fuckin best workout i’ve ever had in my life! Me: IKR. God i broke so many of my PRs. The pump is insane. Still sore haha Mason: How about we hit it 6 days a week. It was really awesome to just hang and vibe in the gym ya kno. Me: yeah dude i’d be down for that Mason: Sick, i’ll call my manager to see if he can schedule me different. So pumped Me: Nice. So what are we training today bro? Legs Mason: Legs Mason: Yooo basically in sync nice haha. Me: Lol. See you in an hour? Mason: bet

Nov 5th 2044 Me: Yo Mason: I know.. Me: you know what? Mason: I know what you’re feeling bro. I feel it too. But fuuuuck its rest dayyy. I just wanna train with you. This week alone has been one of the best weeks of gym EVER. Idk if its just the chip talking but damn I love training with you. Me: Wanna head to the gym. Just do something light? Maybe get a protein shake after? Mason: Already packing my bags. ------------------------------------------- Dec 8th 2044 Mason: Bro killer workout today. We were fucking monstrous. Mason: I had a chat with the Gym owner and he says we’re progressing faster than the majority of the other Chipped dudes. Me: Yo really? That feels amazing to know fuck…like really amazing. Gotta work harder. Blow away the competition dude 💪💪 Mason: Yeah. Honestly i see it dude. You’re looking fucking massive lately Me: No way brah. You’ve been bulking like a madman these last couple months [Mason Sent a Picture]

Mason: It’s all you bro. Wouldn’t be at this level without your help. Next year’s gonna be crazy.

Jan 6th 2045 Mason: No homo bro, but your pecs are looking so fucking massive. I swear every time i saw you flex em my chip went off like crazy. Just bolting lol. Me: Oh yeah bro 😏? Mason: Yh Mason: Broooo noo stop it shittt i can feel that in my chip. Me: LOL OMG i didn’t know it could do that. That’s so fucking cool Mason: haha..yeah. Just like chill with it ok bro Mason: STOP Me: ok ok lol. These fucking chips are wild bro. Don’t even know how most of the stuff works yet. Me: woah dude wtf are you doin? Mason: I know you’re jelly of my god quads so i was trying to get you back. Guess it worked lol Me:Lol. Fucking love you bro Me: No homo Mason: lil homo? Me: haha Mason: Ya know bro, i’ve got room in my apartment. Maybe we should like room together? It’d make setting up workouts super easy Me: really dude? That’d be great! Lets hash it out some more tomorrow for Pull day. Mason: Totally

March 20th 2045 Me: hey bro.. Mason: Yo dude, wassup? I’m loving spring break in Fiji. Having a great time Me: Thats nice…you gotta get back here bro.. Mason: Wdym? Me: Its torture just like Me: IDK man. I try to keep working out. I try to keep the pump up, but jesus. Going to the gym without you is miserable Me: I feel weaker. Smaller. Fuck i feel like my chip is punishing me every time i enter that building without you. But then when i don’t go it’s like my entire brain is being eaten from the inside Me: It feels so fucking bad. I just wanna kneel and never get up. So hard to keep going Me: Please bro. I know It’s a lot to ask but just hurry home. I miss you. I miss us… Mason: Okay bro. I know what you mean. Hang in there for a few more days. I’ve been missing the pump too and the gyms here don’t really seem to hit as hard as ours anyway. Me: I’ll try. I promise. Going crazy here. Thanks bro Mason: I’ll bring you back something from Fiji. Can’t wait to lift with you again.

-------------------------------------------- May 1st 2045 Mason: Hey dude are you busy? Me: ? yeah bro i’m just out in the living room. Wassup? Want me to come to you? Mason: NO. Don’t Mason: I can’t look at you right now Me: Okay??.. Mason: Idk what it is bro..I think its the chip but fuck Mason: The last few gym sessions we’ve had Mason: I see you and the weight you’re lifting and the progress you’ve made Mason: And then i look at my own progress Mason: And I just get…fucking upset? Mason: Because you’re not progressing fast enough dude. It’s making me look bad Me:Bro wtf?! Mason: Look at this [Mason sent a picture]

Mason:I’m fucking massive compared to you. All the other chipped bros look on par with each other, but i’ve got 15 lbs on your ass. Me: Yeah…i guess.. Mason: We’ve gotta work harder bro. I fucking love you. I can’t have you being weaker than me. It makes me sick. Makes me fucking angry Me: Yeah, we’re chipped for life. There’s no going back Me: FUCK Mason: Feel that? Exactly. You’ve gotta get back on my level bro. Otherwise, well… Mason: I can feel the chip bro. Mason: I don’t like what it’s making me feel Mason: But i’ll act on it if it goes on long enough Me: Thanks bro. I needed this. I’ll be better, I promise…For you. Mason: For us..💙 Me: For us...Can I still come to your room dude? Mason: Sure bro. Calmed down a bit...think we might lose the deposit on the place tho..Ignore the holes..

-------------------------------------------------

Jul 17th 2045 Me: Bro? Me: Bro??? Me: Mason dude where tf are you i’ve been waiting at the gym for like an hour Me: i’m just gonna start bro. Me: Mason bro wtf’s going on is your chip acting up? Me: Fuck. Fuk bro Me: Stop whatever you’re doing bro thats not funny. Me:Cut it out! Me: Fuck me dude what is this

Jul 18th 2045 Mason: Sorry bro. My bad. Guess i shoulda told you. Me: Tld m wut bro? My chipz ben goin off all fucking nt Me: Fuk can barelt tyoe. Bods liek pulsing. cnt thinkkk Mason: I heard from one of the other chipped dudes down at the gym that there was a guy upstate who’s been jailbreaking the chips. Installing cool new firmware updates. He said he Only needed one of us cause the softwares connected, but i guess you need to go too. Me: WTF bro thts so fucked up! Hw cud u di tht Mason: Tho if i’m being honest. I don’t really need an update. You were the one lagging behind bro. Lets just keep it like this for a bit and see what happens Me: Cnyoujuststopthepingigbro Mason: Haha sorry. I think that’s the roider protocol. Supposed to send a shiver every time your chipbro thinks about getting bigger. Guess i’ve had one thing on my mind all night. My bad Mason: K should be good Me: This is high-key fucked mason. Mason: Wanna go the gym? Me: fuck…yes. Me: I’m getting my gear ready. See you in 20 mins..fucker. Mason: Oh bro btw [Mason sent a picture]

Me: fucking hell bro. Ok 10 mins

The Model for this one is Alex Price. Check him out. And If you want to support the creation of more hypnotic experiences and writing, then you can do so by subscribing to my Patreon, or to my Youtube channel. And if you want to interact more closely with me and my supportive community you can join my Discord server. And check out my file archive on my website.

[catsconflictscopicsandchamomile]

why November 5th, and destielblr as a whole, is the most folklorically fascinating thing I've ever seen

hoo boi. I have a VERY busy weekend ahead of me and a major presentation on wednesday so this will (probably for the best tbh) be pretty brief by my standards.

first off, once again, the lore-accurate Archangel Cassiel (yes, archangel) :

Saturn, Time, Solitude & Tears

oh yeah aND THE *DEATHS OF KINGS*

....I really don't know how yall managed to recreate an entire angel from basically nothing but ok

but NOVEMBER 5th

is a WHOLE DIFFERENT LEVEL

because THIS

is a HOLIDAY

on the BORDER OF FALL AND WINTER

about the ANGEL OF TIME being THROWN INTO TARTARUS (yes, The Empty is literally Tartarus, no I will not elaborate, its the same thing) for the crime of FALLING IN LOVE with a SEMI-IMMORTAL, VAGUELY-HUMAN HUNTER WHO IS DESCENDED FROM *CAIN*

and over the past three years

this has evolved into the following pieces of folklore:

-when it is NOT Nov 5th, Cassiel still does his usual, literal-millenia-old duty of announcing the deaths (or disgraces) of powerful people. Dean is there too, now.

-Cassiel can tell Dean he loves him all he wants, but through some curse attributed to a cruel God and/or metanarrative forces, Dean is forever unable to say it back- however, he is able (or possibly forced) to announce Weird News Crap in what is usually Cassiel's role. I've even seen some memes that have Dean remembering every world event the "Destiel Meme" is used for as a twisted replay of the confession scene, while Cas doesn't remember any of them.

-Nov 5th seems to be a day of renewal/restarting for the fandom/meta effort to get Cas & Dean back together, but that is manifesting more & more as Cas and/or Dean THEMSELVES restarting their efforts to find each other. It even goes as far as posts talking about eating certain foods, or even leaving food out, as something akin to souling/other folkloric forms of "food for the dead", as some symbolic aid/allegiance to these two wandering spirits...

of a fallen angel and some kind of Clearly-From-The-Wild-Hunt demihuman Cain Guy....

who desperately want to find each other...

so that the angel can be freed from Tartarus/the void...

and the hunter can leave the eternal chase across the heavens and live happily on earth

(also the Hunt Guy has a brother who is SEVEN FEET TALL and MAGIC and has FUTURE SIGHT and *MOOSE ANTLERS* and drinks BLOOD. what in the aggressively nordic fresh fuck)

so um.

yeah.

yall did FOLKLORE

PEOPLE OF TUMBLR, DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT YOU HAVE *DONE A FOLKLORE*

congratulations, the latest heartbreaking seasonal time deity/wild hunt/cain tradition/star-crossed immortal lovers/midwinter mythos came from TUMBLR OF ALL PLACES

...also I will be separately posting a "folklorically-consistent" list of things to leave out for Destiel tonight and/or tomorrow night, if that interests anyone

[secretmellowblog]

i'm really sorry about spnblr, sending love (and as a non american your nov 5th post resonated!)

Thank you, thank you, it means a lot!!!!!!!!!!!! To be honest, I expected blowback on my "the November 5th 2020 hysterical site meltdown was at its heart about the stressful political times and not the supernatural fandom" post, and I knew what I was walking into-- I mean, there's really nothing more Iconically Superwholock than dogpiling on a random person for their opinions on fandom stuff! I have been getting far more agreement than pushback, for the record! And it's honestly very worthwhile/funny/even heartbreaking reading through the comments, and remembering the wild political terror, despair, horror, and exhilaration that day involved. Someone reminded me that the Covid vaccines hadn't even been released yet-- we were still in the phase where we feared there might never be publicly available vaccines, and we would just all have to wait our turns to die! Remember that? Another person compared November 5th to the way you often laugh hysterically after a near-death experience; after barely surviving a car crash, suddenly the smallest things can be very funny. I do think the Frivolous Fandom News everyone latched onto on November 5th had to be a Big Fandom Ship with a wide reach that had lots of nostalgic value and a reputation as an iconic Tumblr Thing(tm), because that's the core of what makes it so funny. But again, it could've been Johnlock becoming canon-- it's not really about the specific fandom. (I also think some people are reading that original post uncharitably XD. I said it could have been any frivolous inane fandom news, yeah, but I also did say that it had to be something with a comparable level of Reach--which to me means a similar level of 'dashboard osmosis'/reputation as a tumblr ship/nostalgic value/etc. Yes, things would have looked different if it had been another fandom with comparable reach, but still. The reason I didn't go into depth about that angle was because I think people overemphasize the fandom side of it already, and I didn't want to make another post on that haha.)

But even the pushback I'm getting from Supernatural fans is so far just very entertaining to me. It's very "Potterheads, grab your wands!" ("Supernatural fans, grab your wayward sons?" ) As someone who's also been on the other end of genuinely vicious hateful bigoted threatening dogpiles, this is really nothing so far. It's a bunch of people with ''221BintheTardiswithCastiel" URLS bopping me on the head with an empty cardboard paper towel roll for daring to Remember the Fifth of November as I actually experienced it XD.

[caruliaa]

can tsonts come out again sorry but that was like. my nov 5th execpt fully positive insane emotions of it i was on insane cloud nine i was experiencing insane levels of joy the fandom exploded carulia practically went canon everyone was saying think about the implications of carmen imagining julia watching her dance or knowing where her apartment is or julia saying i do hope these articfacts mysteriously appear at my doorstep ;) and the implications where gay and glorious and also kept thinking abt tgwdlm promise me youll think about the implications but more importnatly CARMEN GAVE JULIA RED ROSES AND SHE BLUSHED IM STILL NOT OVER THAT AND I NEVER WILL BE !!

[castielsupernatural]

cannot wait for the fifth anniversary of nov 5th we'll reach new levels of insane -💀

if im still here on the fifth nov 5 im gonna climb into an abandoned mine and scream very loud until an avalanche buries me alive

[sherryhuang]

Assignment 2 project research diary 5

5th Nov Sat

The results of my last experiment showed that my basic physics level was really bad. So I looked up a lot of information on the internet and some of the papers on physics I really couldn't understand, but some of the articles still gave me some inspiration.

After reading some articles, I started to realise that plastic, as a "viscoelastic material", is more difficult to produce vibrations like metal and glass, and certainly not suitable for resonance boxes or resonance installations. So I turned to metal and glass. Metal is not transparent and can't seem to make it easy to see the microphone inside, and it just so happened that I had a very large glass bowl, so I decided to test it out with a glass bowl to see if it would work.

At first I tried hit the glass bowl so that the bowl could vibrate and make a sound. But then I realised that this may not appropriate because the volume and frequency of the sound of the bowl was dependent on how I hit it, I couldn't hit it like a robot and kept the same power every time. So I needed a source of vibration to steadily make the bowl vibrate.

I tired with electric toothbrush.

It may not be very clear in the recording, but I could clearly hear the sound of the glass bowl vibrating through the monitor headphones when I was recording, very interesting and perhaps it was a good progress.

[anarcho-decepticonism]

my brain's returning to pre-nov 5th levels (ie mostly thinking abt ffak and also riverdale) but i can still be brought to my knees because oh my god. they made that angel gay on television. i was begging and pleading for that a decade ago

[kateis-cakeis]

Alivebur Has A Crush Analysis

Alivebur is a character who has been through the highs and lows of life. We have seen him lead, we have seen him fall, and we have seen him come back and try his best. What we have not previously seen, however, is Alivebur in love. In the last few streams from his POV, his interactions with Quackity have stepped into the realm of possibility that to Alivebur, this is more than a simple rivalry. Therefore, this analysis will explore Alivebur's possible crush on Quackity by going through the streams to show development, and looking in depth at expressions.

The Book

When Alivebur takes the Project Nevadas book from the chest, he regards it and Quackity's name softly, sounding emotional, almost like he's on the verge of tears - especially as he says 'my kinsman':

“Quackity… My, my old rival! My… my kinsman. We’ve been through a lot, we went through a lot together. And I- And I-” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 1:02:11, 5th May)

It's a very emotional line, and truly the first time during the 5th May stream that Alivebur seems genuinely comfortable, suggesting that this is the first time he realises that Quackity is the only one (from his perspective) who isn't afraid of who he was before he died.

Furthermore, it suggests this is where he first gets the hope that Quackity sees him as human.

He even reads the book with a gentle tone, suggesting that he thinks Quackity wrote it with a softness.

In the 31st May stream, Alivebur still has the book on him, and keeps the contents to himself, at first, stopping midsentence as he begins to read it to Tommy.

“Let me read you the book, let me read you the book. ‘My dearest friend, Wilbur’. Uh. And then there’s just some other stuff.” – (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 14:53, 31st May)

Due to him having no idea he was going to be up against Quackity yet, it is likely he kept it to himself because it was too personal to share - only later showing it to Tommy as a plea to why he shouldn't join Quackity.

In between reading the first part and uttering 'uh', Alivebur opens his mouth to say more, but no words come out. As if he couldn't physically read it.

Then he goes on to 'read' Tommy the book, except he makes up the contents. What is interesting here, is how he seems to slip:

“It says: ‘My dearest friend, Wilbur. I’ve really missed seeing you. Come to Project Nevadas. Your best friend, Quackity.’ He’s not my best friend, Tommy, don’t worry, that would be you.” – (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 16:28, 31st May)

Tommy has pushed him for what's inside the book, so Alivebur 'gives in' and starts to read it, coming up with what he's saying on the fly. The slip? 'Your best friend', we know in the 25th July stream that one of Alivebur's goals seems to be Quackity being his friend, making this line all the more obvious that this is something Alivebur wants, to be Quackity's friend, and to be on his side.

When he gets rejected from Las Nevadas, he opens up the book like he's trying to make sense of it:

Because Alivebur took it as a call, took it as an invitation to join Quackity and be on his side - something that Alivebur seems to want. Perhaps because it would be a place to belong, a side to stand with, someone to stand alongside who isn't afraid of him.

Hence why he was petty and challenged Quackity, because he was rejected by the only person who Alivebur thinks regards him as a human.

Alivebur keeps the book on him in the following stream, Healthy Competition. Where, in the middle of talking to Phil, while looking in his inventory, he gets distracted by the book, losing track of what he was saying as he looks at it:

This suggests that Alivebur is keeping the book on him because it's precious, and because he's yearning. It isn't something he's keeping safe in an Ender chest like he used to do with history books, but rather something he's keeping on him, almost like he's keeping it close to his heart.

It's personal, enough to distract him in the middle of a conversation in a way we haven't seen from Alivebur before.

When he's making plans, he doesn't get distracted easily, usually sticking to the point, but here, he trails off in the middle of a sentence, pulls the book into his hand, struggles to open it, and looks for just a second before putting it away.

It's definitely not something that Alivebur would do at all, and is certainly new. Which, in turn, heavily suggests a crush because it is something we've never seen before.

Later in the stream, as Alivebur tosses the named steaks over to Ranboo, Alivebur pulls the book into his hand again. His expression drops almost, he stops in a sense, eyes dipping down. There's a sadness this time:

Like a sad longing. Perhaps the book is a reminder too, of what he truly wants, to be alongside Quackity, to be his dearest friend like it says.

While Alivebur doesn't look at the book in the 3rd and 4th Aug streams, he does still have it on him, showing that he does indeed keep it on him at all times. Evidently, the book is very important to him.

Therefore, due to all this, it can be heavily suggested from the book alone that Alivebur has a crush. Keeping it on him at all times, regarding it softly, being unable to share the contents at first, looking at it with a longing or a sad yeaning, all show that the book is precious to him in a way that proves feelings.

The Crush Question

More under the cut

When Alivebur talks about how Quackity challenged him, calling the look in his eyes cool - before then admitting that he almost called it hot, Tommy proceeds to ask if Alivebur has a crush, to which Alivebur says:

“I have a complicated relationship with Big Q, but I don’t think it’s at that level yet.” – (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 44:55, 31st May)

There is a lot to this line, for example, 'complicated relationship' suggests, within this context, that he's referring to their very colourful past, where they were political rivals, allies, perhaps friends, and also almost lovers.

Considering that Alivebur says he doesn't think it's at the level of a crush yet does indeed suggest that he is aware of his attraction and/or feelings for Quackity.

We know from Niki's birthday party that Alivebur had feelings for Quackity then:

“Sometimes, uh, you know, my, my, my feelings towards some people... in this room get the better of me.” - (Karl's Dream SMP with Niki: 1:46:37, 2nd Nov)

During that pause, that ellipsis, Alivebur looks straight at Quackity before continuing. It is clear that at this point he did have feelings, hence why he kissed Quackity, and why later in that stream he sang songs of love and hate to him. Complicated relationship indeed.

So, 'complicated relationship' possibly does refer to all their past, to everything they've been, or almost been. That paired with him thinking his feelings aren't at the level of a crush yet - at this point - does heavily suggest that this is something that is progressing.

Either he will later realise his feelings have gotten to the level of a crush, or that it's been a crush for a while, but the important part here, is the use of 'yet', he's expecting it.

In turn, Alivebur's answer to Tommy's question does suggest the existence of feelings already, as well as Alivebur acknowledging it can become a crush.

Crush Behaviour

In recent streams it has become increasingly evident that Alivebur is behaving like he has a crush already. Even in the first stream where this becomes evident - the 31st May one - he displays signs of a crush.

To begin, one of the most evident signs of a crush from the 31st May stream are the longing sighs:

It's the way he sighs with his whole chest. The way he's trying to speak but sighs instead, as if that's all he can say, as if it conveys everything he feels.

The lines the sighs coincide with are interesting to note too:

“He’s, he’s um, he’s, I guess my, my yang. He’s the yang.” – (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 47:56, 31st May)

The first sigh takes place between 'he's um' and 'he's', and only then gets out what he wants to say, that Quackity's his yang. Which, from that, it can be suggested that the sigh comes from thinking about Quackity as his light, his other half, as something he can't exist without, something like a soulmate. Because that's what 'his yang' suggests on its own, but paired with the sigh, it shows how he's thinking about it, and from the tone, he's also longing for it.

And then there's the line for the second sigh:

“Because when you’ve got people like Quackity over there, who are just- You know, he said it best, I’m not gonna talk shit about him behind his back.” – (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 1:10:00, 31st May)

Here the sigh takes place when Alivebur cuts himself off after the 'just'. It's more of a breathed sigh, and it has a 'aw' sound to it. There is a feeling of more attraction here than longing. He's thinking about Quackity again and then sighs like this, almost in a happy way. It's almost got an amazed feel to it, as if that's how he feels when thinking of Quackity here.

Then he goes on to say he's not gonna talk shit about him behind his back, which also indicates a crush type behaviour, because while he's setting himself up to be Quackity's rival, he stops himself from doing what most would when they're against someone.

The sighs aren't the only part of the 31st May stream that have a crush behaviour feeling to them. This is also clear when Tommy asks if Alivebur and Quackity were kissing.

He nervously laughs after Tommy asks, and stares at Quackity, with his hand over his mouth. The nervous laugh suggests that Alivebur does feel something towards this question, something positive but guarded, hence his hand over his mouth, and why he stares at Quackity.

And then he deflects. He doesn't answer Tommy's question, he just changes the subject. It's clear from this that he's hiding his true feelings here.

“No, I don’t think I wanna kiss him. It’s um…” – (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 50:29, 31st May)

This is backed up by him saying he doesn't think he wants to kiss Quackity. He clearly has some complicated feelings about it, hence the use of 'think' instead of just leaving it as no.

Evidentially, there is some guarded part of Alivebur that isn't sure what to feel about kissing Quackity, but judging by the use of 'think', and nervously laughing while staring at Quackity after being asked if they were kissing, it seems like he's thought about it.

The next blatant crush behaviour happens in the 25th July stream as Alivebur is talking about how he met up with Quackity:

The body language here, the way he seems to fiddle with his arms, it's a very nervous thing to do, and since he's talking to Phil here, it suggests he's nervously talking about his crush to his dad.

The full line shows this even more:

“Yeah! I met up with him, and I hadn’t seen him in ages. It was, I’m gonna say it, it was nice. It was a nice time. I- I- It felt good, it felt, uh, you know, he didn’t, he didn’t seem afraid of me, which is cool.” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 7:38, 25th July)

He begins with that he hadn't seen him in ages, which is especially interesting because this is true of everyone, it's been 13 years for Alivebur, but the way he says it here makes it sound so casual, like it had just been a little while. Perhaps it suggests how human and alive he feels around Quackity.

He goes on to say it was nice, that it felt good, and how it's cool Quackity didn't seem afraid of him. Which suggests even more so of just how human and alive Quackity makes him feel, that he simply had a nice time. Especially with him saying it felt good, which shows how this isn't just an intense rivalry for Alivebur, it's something that makes him feel more positive emotions.

The most damning evidence for Alivebur's crush behaviour, however, comes from when he's waiting for Quackity on the 4th Aug stream.

“Wait here, look, I promise you, just you wait. Just you wait. Ready? Ready? Are you ready? Are- Are you- Are you ready? Um… Uh…” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 11:06, 4th Aug)

He expects Quackity to be there as soon as he is, but when he's not there, Alivebur begins to get nervous, um-ing and uh-ing. After two minutes of waiting around, Alivebur then proceeds to proclaim that he thinks he understands Quackity, and how his brain works, only for him to prove he doesn't give a shit:

“This guy. Ranboo, I swear to god, like I, I feel like I understand him, I feel like I know how his brain works, you know, how his- how the- how the cogs in his mind go. And then he just, and then he just goes and proves that he doesn’t give a shit.” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 12:56, 4th Aug)

The reason this is evident crush behaviour is because Alivebur starts getting self-conscious about how Quackity feels about him after waiting two minutes. He assumes that as soon as he arrives on the border, Quackity will be there instantly.

It's very reminiscent of real life, where some people may get self-conscious if their crush doesn't text them back immediately. Except with Alivebur, instead of a text, he turns up on Las Nevadas's doorstep and expects Quackity to drop anything he's doing to tell him to fuck off.

However, the most blatant part of this piece of evidence is when Quackity asks if they've been waiting long, to which Alivebur replies with:

“Uh, I’ve just arrived, you know, I just arri- I, I haven’t been long for you. I, I wouldn’t- Quackity, you think, you think I’d wait for you?” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 14:35, 4th Aug)

He pretends he's just arrived, trying to act suave, that he wouldn't wait for Quackity, just like how Quackity didn't instantly greet him the minute he turned up. He's brushing it off here, but even he himself knows that he isn't acting as smooth as he would like:

He glances away as he drinks from the bottle, then closes his eyes, scrunching up his face. It's an embarrassed 'oh god did I really just say that?' type expression. It's the type of expression you would expect to see from someone who feels like they've just embarrassed themself in front of their crush.

That's what is evident here when everything from this scene is put together, that Alivebur is acting like he has a crush.

Finally, the last bit of evidence we have right now that indicates Alivebur is expressing crush behaviour is when he says he feels alive after interacting with Quackity:

“I feel alive, Ranboo, I feel alive. Someone’s looking at me and talking to me! I’m alive, I’m alive! This is great.” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 27:22, 4th Aug)

You may notice here that the 'someone's looking at me' is similar to what cc!Wilbur said from Alivebur's perspective in the recent reddit comment about him (here), that 'no-one even looked at him' before he died. Alivebur is excited, even seeming to be happy, that someone is actually paying attention to him, looking at him, even if it's in a rivalry sense.

And it's only Quackity that makes him feel this way, despite Ranboo being there, talking to him. It suggests that what Alivebur is feeling with Quackity is unique, and makes him feel more than the friendship he has with Ranboo.

Most of all, the excited and stressed 'I feel alive' and 'I'm alive!' not only suggests that just talking to Quackity makes him feel alive, but that it could be making his heart beat faster every time he sees him and interacts with him.

This is implied through the line because to feel alive in this excited sense induces a reaction, and that probable reaction of feeling alive - being excited, suggests his heart is beating faster. This links back to Alivebur having a crush because when a person is around someone they have feelings for, their heart beats faster.

Lastly, in the latter half of the quote, when he says 'I'm alive!', he looks towards Las Nevadas, and sighs in what sounds like a happy tone. This shows that it is indeed Quackity that is making him feel this way.

All in all, everything from the sighs to the way Quackity makes him feel alive, does indeed suggest that Alivebur is displaying crush behaviour towards Quackity, and therefore, indicates that he has a crush.

Homoerotic Tension

Another factor that ties into the evidence that Alivebur has a crush, is the homoerotic tension he has towards and with Quackity.

The most obvious occurrence of this is when Alivebur bites his lip at the idea that Quackity won't like the burger van:

“So he didn’t like it? He didn’t like you setting up the cookie stand? … Okay. Okay. No, no, no, that’s good.” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 21:33, 25th July)

As soon as Ranboo says Quackity didn't like it, Alivebur smiles, licks his lips, and then bites his lip.

In this context, there's no anxiousness here, so the only reason he could be biting his lip is because of his attraction to Quackity. A lip bite in this sense means that Alivebur is restraining himself, as well as experiencing desire.

It's a very clear attraction to Quackity, which further shows that he is attracted to him in all senses. This is also a foundation for where his feelings are coming from, and because we know Alivebur's type (he likes a challenge and thought the look in Quackity's eyes was hot when he challenged him), it becomes evident that the lip bite is a reaction to the idea of Quackity being angry at him.

And in the 4th Aug stream, this is explicitly said:

“When you smashed the window and blew up the wall? I’d be pissed, and I bet he is, dude.” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 7:20, 4th Aug)

--

“Ohh boy! Ha ha ha ha, ha! Oh, this is good, this is- this is exactly what I want. Did you see how- Dude, dude, Ranboo, he was trying act like I didn’t get to him.” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 26:47, 4th Aug)

Therefore, due to Alivebur expecting Quackity to be pissed, and him saying it's exactly what he wants after interacting with him, it's clear that him smiling and biting his lip after hearing that Quackity didn't like the cookie stand, comes from wanting Quackity to be angry with him, and so, links into his type, proving his attraction to him.

This links back to his possible crush because a lip bite like this definitely isn't an expression someone would make about a friend or just a rival. Which means it's explicitly attraction to Quackity, and further suggests that him having a crush on him is very possible.

Another notable moment that shows tension in this sense is when Alivebur says Quackity is a hard man to refuse.

“But I get it, I get it, you know, Quackity… He’s a, he’s a hard man to refuse.” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 24:09, 4th Aug)

The reason this suggests homoerotic tension and attraction is because of what 'he's a hard man to refuse' suggests. It's as if Alivebur is saying to Quackity that he can't say no to him, which shows how he is drawn to him. It also suggests that if Quackity were to ask something of Alivebur, he would do it, as he can't refuse him easily/can't say no.

The most interesting part about this is how Alivebur has never been manipulated or persuaded by Quackity, and therefore, in Alivebur's case, this sentiment is coming from their history, and possibly refers to the rivalry they have always had. Alivebur didn't refuse Quackity from running against him during the election era, and he eagerly gunned for a rivalry once he was rejected from Las Nevadas.

All of this indicates that Alivebur saying Quackity is a hard man to refuse has romantic connotations to it and suggests attraction to him.

Overall, the homoerotic tension, and Alivebur's attraction shows how it's very likely a crush has built off this foundation, and suggests why Alivebur is so drawn to Quackity.

Conclusion

In conclusion, Alivebur has a crush due to the way he talks about and interacts with Quackity. It is clear in the way he holds the book close and regards it softly and with a longing, and how he doesn't think his feelings are at the level of a crush yet, as if he fully expects it to happen. Additionally, his yearning sighs, the way he nervously laughs as Tommy asks if they kissed, his body language when he talks to Phil about him, and how he attempts to act smooth in front of Quackity only to be embarrassed by what he said, all suggest he's behaving like he has a crush. Furthermore, biting his lip when thinking of Quackity and saying he's a hard man to refuse show his attraction, and therefore, his likely crush. Overall, Alivebur has a crush due to all these factors.

[srbachchan]

DAY 5008

Jalsa, Mumbai                   Nov 6,  2021                  Sat 11:37 PM

❤️ , Tomorrow .. Nov 7th .. is the birthday of EF Rajib Mitra , and Ef Gyanchand Garhwani , and Ef Zabih'u Allah .. .. and .. .. on the 5th .. the birthday of Ef Dr. Neha Shah was missed .. apologies 😔 .. it wasn't there in any record .. and got to know of it only after seeing her comment on the Blog .. now her birthday is added to the Ef birthday list , and hopefully all's well .. Love .. 🌹

my wishes for happiness and fulfilment in the New Year .. ❤️❤️🚩🚩

The oft repeated phrase by onlookers connected to the social or Tv communication mediums .. ‘making a statement’ .. a misplaced observation of my necessitated foot wear due to the toe fracture .. underwent a review and the ‘rays that epilogue the ‘X’ .. and it was concluded that the taping or the ‘buddy plaster wrap’ could be done away with .. soft toed shoes to be worn in continuity, statements not with standing, and general mobility to be encouraged ..

If at all the pain and afflicted agony were to reappear, then on with the bandages again .. 

‘bandages again’ .. 😊 .. drove me back to Boys High School, Allahabad, now PrayagRaj , and the School play at the end of term, when I played a Ruler damaged in the leg and bandaged up throughout the scenes, eventually cured by a well wisher that provides a cure and leaves the Court, initiating my closing line of the play - “ .. and now to get rid of these bandages ..” .. 😊😊 ..

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 .. we are reminiscing around 1950 .. perhaps the 5th or 6th Standard  and the memory still in tact .. 

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 .. and what I did a few hours ago .. a mystery question !!

NO .. actually I do remember .. I was able for a very short time Genesis ‘d , and the results failed to be saved or ‘bounced’ onto the desktop or the mail from LogicX  - a professional level ap for recording and mixing music .. a vehicle to be able to showOff my music skills , when all I do is pretend to be playing the keys of the piano, when in fact Genesis, generalises the generics and generates what most believe to factually be the work of genius ..

.. may there be some reaction from the Ef, of the audacious use of the term ‘gen’ in repeated words .. 🤣🤣🤣 ..

( ERR .. do you think there is far too liberal a use of the 🤣 emoji  ..)

apologies .. just cannot be expressed in any better way .. 

life is funny too .. at times .. well most of the time .. depends what the interpretation of fun means to each .. 

fun at the time of the times I go through , is the opportunity to be in solitudinous - if there is such word -  oblivion ! Unknown , unheard , un connected ... and under the shadow of a sort of ‘sanyas’ .. which seems to be falling in line with the much misunderstood closing of my wanting to ‘retire’ .. 🤣🤣🤣 ..

.. and here we go again with the emoji of the DAY .. 

not bad really to be in its multiples toDAY .. 

the sanyas or the retire would be such a self aggrandised moment , much though we may wish to drive away from it .. in its related context .. 

but English is indeed a very ‘phunny’ language .. and ‘bhairon’ does indeed become ‘barren’ , because their minds are very ‘narron’ .. 

Amitabh Bachchan

[ocean-sailor]

Hey there! I was the anon that asked Amy about Vancouver. I saw that they’re extending the 50% capacity limits until 2/16. I know nothing about planning tours but I wonder if his team is going to wait until then to see will happen after 2/16 or if they will make any kind of decision now… what a mess 😔

Hey :) It's cutting it quite close to Mar 6 isn't it ... the public health orders are changed regularly tho - depending on the level of Covid-19 in the community and how it's affecting the hospitals and healthcare system overall. In Canada, our basic healthcare/hospitalization is publicly run, ie free, so it's managed to be efficient - with not a lot of excess capacity built in. So to protect the healthcare system from collapsing, the gov't has added surge capacity space to manage the excess covid patients - which is great if you have the staff to also look after them - but with omicron being so contagious, healthcare staff have also been exposed/tested + and have to isolate. And it's the 5th wave so everyone has been doing extra shifts and giving their all for nearly 2 years and they're tired ... I'm hoping that since Omicron is such a steep wave, it will also come down quickly but it doesn't look like we're having stronger public health measures put in to help with that so ...

I know Louis really wants to tour and I really want to see him! And I think he likes Vancouver so probably wants to come here. I don't know how far ahead his team looks when they're planning - imagine trying to keep up with all the changes in every tour spot - Matt must be fabulous with a spreadsheet lol. I think they will announce something as soon as they're sure - like when they couldn't make the schedule for Japan work, LTHQ posted about it. They could also try to add it on at the end of the USA/Canada leg since they'll still be on the west coast - before they go to Europe - if they could find a date that works. All we can do is hang in there and hope for the best!

If you're driving here, another thing to look out for (depending on where you're coming from) is BC had a once in 500 year flood event (an Atmospheric River) in Nov/Dec so some of the main highways were damaged. They're open now but some have limited hours as they're still doing repairs. The website for that is drivebc*ca - the construction has slowed everything down so give yourself plenty of travel time :).

[tiktaalic]

Hope Jensen says something even more offensive and outrageous on the nov 5th con so that everyone who’s breaking their backs right now trying to defend him feel at least a little bit of shame.

I really do feel like. My feelings got so hurt in 2012 now all I can feel is disdain for the man. Dude could straight up say gay people are perverts and it’d be like that’s what I thought you’d say you dumb fucking jensen ackles ! I feel for everyone who’s feeling upset tho, it’s like. Mind boggling levels of writing gay people out of the narrative and by extension mind boggling levels of homophobia. I think at least a portion of ppl defending him are trying to #cope which I understand if you’re like. 15. But if you’re 27 and still acting like that. I’m sorry to say he is not going to fuck you no matter how much nuanced interiority you baselessly assign to his thoughtless words

[praecociadreams]

me and my gf tonight living out our nov 5th canonical destiel the night we met by lord huron feat. phoebe bridgers dean would’ve confessed first truther still beautiful alcoholic because of multiple metanarrative levels of homophobia fantasy @ellies-bicep

[afishlearningpoetry]

Still seeing people call us a cult in 2021 😑 🚬 Is there anything that broke this blogging website's brains more than a 2010s BBC show?

Tbh and I’ll get to why it connects to what you’re saying but what really broke this website’s brains is the crab bucket culture of disposability and cycle of online abuse that it nurtured for years until it spread to the rest of the internet... like the early social justice awakening to the yfip blogs and call out posts and anonymous stalking and commenting (that carried over partially from livejournal/older fandom, tbf) that’s translated into like, faulty, second-hand sourced fanwiki websites tracking the perceived dancing with the devil transgressions of some person, a random stranger essentially, has made in their online life, and for what reason, really? For what purpose? Like I think a lot of us gained some awareness at a certain point that these tactics were thinly veiled guises to harass and take personal shots at basically random people for mostly petty reasons (clearly plenty of people are pretending that’s not what it is and went back to it), but I also wonder what it did to the brains of like the youngest people on here, who started using the website since they were children, not just high school age or close to, but even younger people.

That frame of mind is everywhere now, especially with younger fandoms, not just on here. Twitter is pretty terrible. I was watching the Mask Off video from Lindsay Ellis recently and it’s just horrifying to me the way this website essentially birthed that form of harassment. Every step of the way, the way that she (and Natalie, in her own video) detail how it happened is absolutely identical to how it happens on here, except it’s happening in daylight where public figures are in the same fight-to-the-death arena as the rest of us, which is what makes it easier to articulate. This is not to dismiss anything someone like Lindsay has to go through, considering what she disclosed in the video and that she’s been harassed by the alt-right for years, but she also has enough of an online standing to publicly face those charges and refute the majority of them. Like Natalie also said, but what happens to someone else? Someone with no name, or social or financial security, and that’s basically what I’m getting it. That kind of online abuse happening over and over and over and over again trickles down to everybody else. That’s what broke people’s brains. That’s what ruined this website.

And it isn’t just the reactionary, cringe culture post-fandom nihilism that shifted into online culture in 2016 and onwards (I’ve mentioned this before, like, the constant jokes about bad and infamous moments from tumblr), but harassment that still happens on here. You can accuse people of being a pedophile with no credibility, harass them about their eight year old fandom history, or dox and shame them out of public life without much effort, granted there are enough people willing to hop in the crab bucket with you. It has nothing to do with genuinely caring about anything but being an asshole. So for most of that to be distilled into people hate following tjlc (which was named such as a self-aware joke) for literal years when it was largely one of the most fun, positive, creative and dedicated fan spaces I’ve ever been in, and then finally having the wind at their backs to essentially cut everyone down and collect some heads because series 4 finally got the critical backlash they were waiting for to do so with widespread permission (they tried this with series 3, but it just didn’t take because the quality was too consistent), is severely aggravating.

I’ve had plenty of other, smaller negative experiences on here, whether they be trends or staples, and I’ve certainly contributed, but there’s always been enough good for me to stay. But after series 4 that was no longer the case. I just hit a breaking point where I couldn’t be as personally invested anymore, it got so bad. As much as I still want to come here for specific reasons and contribute what I can, I have a lot of trouble engaging with anything because I’m ready to see any new blog or topic I follow to dip into those same habits all over again, which is inevitably what happens. To watch anti-intellectual post-fandom nihilism — and if you’ve been here at all between end of 2016 to now you know the kind of attitude, posts, rhetoric and style of speech, and blogs I’m talking about — kind of dominate this website, has been a large part of why I only pop up sporadically. After Nov. 5th it’s been ironic watching so many people I’d describe that way unironically get into the paranormal show again. Not because I think that’s bad, I follows blogs that talk about it and think it’s cool, I made an edit at the time, or that anyone should be “above it”, we’re on tumblr after all, but because that kind of venomous behavior is still there underneath, like we’re not all also blogging specifically about superwholock shows.

A few months ago when someone accused me of being part of a q anon-level conspiracy and that we’re all “monsters of your own making”, this being before the capitol riot where dozens of members of the US house were nearly murdered en-masse, one of the things they said was that we couldn’t admit that our show was bad, but it was fine what they were doing with the other show because they were just having fun, and that we couldn’t, I don’t know, do anything or whatever about it until we were ready to admit our show is also bad. Which is a pretty revealing look into how that line of thinking, all the way from the early tumblr days, to other places like twitter, all the way back to here again has evolved despite staying the same. This bizarre blend of ironic detachment, self-deprecation, moralizing over a show’s perceived wrongdoings as perceived personal transgressions, bullying, rumors, fan wikis, and years of witnessing or being in on online harassment rewiring people’s brains to the point where not only is it impossible to do anything without jumping through twenty mental hoops before you do it, it’s essentially a both a constant threat and entry-level trial by fire into having any kind of existence in an online fandom space.

Of course it’s not just the barraging from people on here that’s contributed to that kind of culture, it’s everywhere else, because it spread everywhere. Think pieces by people not involved in the space, summaries of what happened mostly written by people who were hate following it to begin with, academic papers by ex-fans, faux-investigative pieces from wanna-be media critics trying to canonize their version of what happened into definitive internet history after preemptively blocking everyone involved so no one can respond to what they say — it’s extremely exhausting every step of the way. I can’t blame ex-tjlc people for just abandoning this place or any online space completely, because it’s still relentless four years later, and if the initial experience of series 4 wasn’t already distressing enough, whatever you think about it now, everyone’s faced the same challenge of being gradually smothered into relinquishing any ties to it through that cycle of shame that’s been perfected and streamlined right down to quick and recognizable beats on this website for over a decade.

[suddenrundown]

okay so... i've been away from the internet for like 4 years and i am so confused what happened on nov 5th i cannot figure it out from context clues alone

Oh gee….what didn’t happen November 5th?

(under the cut cuz this got a little long)

Ok let me set the scene from my perspective: it’s the 3rd day of the 2020 US presidential election and the current Chief Embarrassment guy taking up residence in the White House can’t step away from Twitter for 5 minutes and is calling on states to StOp tHe VotE!! You know, as you do when not all the votes haven’t been counted. It’s a stressful time and an all around sucky situation to be in, and for all that I don’t want to be glued to the real time election map, I am anyway, constantly refreshing every 5 minutes, so I take to tumblr instead to take my mind off things. It doesn’t work very well and just when I think there will be no relief…supernatural comes in to save the day.

…do you know anything about supernatural?

Supernatural is…a show. You don’t need to know anything about the show other than this: there is a longtime fan favorite ship between two characters: a flannel wearing man named Dean Winchester and the angel Castiel. Together, they’re ~destiel~. Now, supernatural at this point is in its 15th and final season and heading towards the end, limping towards the finish line held together by nothing but duct tape and the love of dean-coded cas girls (I don’t know what that means either!) who have somehow, someway managed to continue caring about a show that goes out of its way to say how much it hates them in general and their beloved ship. (For real, destiel had been teased in universe for years while most of the creators and actors of the show actively made fun of people who cared about it. It’s a mess). Personally, I hopped off the supernatural train back in season 12 and never climbed aboard the destiel train, so anything that’s happened since season 12 is a mystery to me. In fact, despite not following anyone who posts about the show, I’ve blocked everything related to it just in case something does pop up on my dash so I don’t have to see it.

But then, right in my time of need, one vague post about the show pops through. I don’t remember the exact wording, but something along the lines of “supernatural did the damn thing“. What damn thing did supernatural do? Who knows. Not me, I don’t care. *refreshes the page*

3 minutes later and another vague post, this time actively naming destiel and I’m like ok I don’t care *refreshes page*…

…and my entire dash is filled with blocked supernatural posts.

Now I’m curious, so I click on the posts and oh my god destiel did in fact go canon. “Wonderful,” I think, “good for whoever cares about that.”

But the posts keep coming and they’re all memes of course and they’re funny and I’m like what the hell happened? Well, then the clip of the canonizing of destiel crossed my dash, so I watched it and. Wow, yeah, that sure did go canon.…kinda. They had Castiel confess his love for dean (who just stood there looking at him like ????) and then promptly die. Literally. Castiel the gay angel made a love confession in one breath and then got swallowed up by some dark goo in the next, dying for the millionth and final time in the series. Love wins! In the worst/most homophobic way possible.

But it was hysterical and when I tell you all of tumblr was having a field day, I mean it. This went on for hours, and amidst the turmoil came some different sort of news:

According to the election map, the state of Georgia, whose votes always skew red for Republican, went blue for Democrat.

WAIT! We’re still in this election and Georgia went blue!! Unheard of….THANK YOU DEAD GAY CASTIEL!!

Now there’s memes about destiel and blue georgia and I feel like I’ve hit a new plane of existence when SUDDENLY rumors about Putin stepping down (which turned out to ultimately not be true) reach the tumblr news cycle and now you have reached critical levels of hysteria sitewide. The memes. Oh the memes.

Would the level of insanity have been the same had we not been in month 9 of the pandemic and 3 days into one of the most stressful elections in recent US history? Probably not. But for a few hours, no one was focused on that in the slightest. All because of dead gay Castiel who died and went to superhell. He did that for all of us.

[hungnitan]

2022 Wanted List

I got most 2021 wanted list except Casko, Arjuna Alter, Enkidu, and Anastasia. Plus with I already close my yearly book here's my next year wanted list :

Jan : Casko (Beni Enma banner)

for arts support purpose of course (lol), I don't get her this year so I gonna try again...

Apr : Dioscuri (LB5 part 2-1 banner)

well, I know I have full list of saber that still not at bond 10 but I just can't resist gemini twin !

May : Okita Alter (GudaGuda Final Rerun)

morelike "if I can" for this one, as this pretty near from previous pull and after trying countless time I'm bit disliking her kit plus it's not like I'm in need of more Alter Ego

Jun : Lambda (Summer 4 Las Vegas-2 Rerun)

I love Melt most of other Sakura face, and here I am can't get her and add the salt even get Ruler Bunny from that banner this year

Aug-Sept : Castoria (5th Annivesary) & Abigail (Summer Camp)

...this really troubling but if I must take priority I will pull for Castoria as I have normal Abigail now...

Well, the best route I can get are getting both Casko and Castoria for fully arts support while for Abigail Summer can wait for other time

Nov-Dec : Nemo (Imaginary Scramble banner) & Ashiya Douman (LB 5.5 banner)

I never looked at Nemo and Douman kit so throughfully, so if must sacrifice one of them later still good for me...

Half picked from this year and half new one... the most priority above are Dioscuri, Lamdha and Castoria (eventhough I still skill leveling for Merlin for now)

Too bad no Enkidu and Anastasia banner (we all know Arjuna Alter never cameback) but I don't think can insert them too as the list above pretty long itself (lol)