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cvntydazai · 2 months

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cat and mouse

ever since your first day at the agency you’ve made an effort to avoid dazai and his silly little games, even when he so desperately craves your attention.

pairing; dazai osamu x fem!reader

word count; 3.3k

content warning; nsfw (minors do not interact), unedited, cursing, dazai fingers reader, reader is gifted but their gift is not described/specified, the usual dazai shenanigans, mentions of blood/injury, mentions of murder, probably a lot more

authors note; sigh not only is this a day late but i’m not proud of it so sorry guys :( been so busy lately this was not what i had in mind for this fic, i still hope it’s enjoyable!

when you first joined the agency it was a desperate attempt to find a job that could utilize your gift, after many failed “normal” jobs you just had to accept that your situation wasn’t normal and you needed a job that could handle that. you caught wind of a detective agency full of gifted individuals and knew it was the perfect opportunity.

that’s how you got to where you were now, 6 months into your career as a gifted detective. it has been going perfect, being the longest job you’ve ever had.

there was just one issue, a big one that took its place in the form of a tall, bandaged man who could never leave you alone. dazai osamu, the issue called itself, would be the death of you.

it all started on your very first day at the agency, he wasted little time introducing himself and instead put all of his energy towards wooing you with those doe eyes. you also recall him telling you could rely on him anytime, followed by a wink and a knowing smirk. you were warned by yosano to keep your distance from him, advice that you still regret not taking to this day.

he tried to get your attention for weeks, throwing paper balls on your desk and mouthing at you to open them. inside was always a love note, multiple tiny hearts littering the crumpled paper. he never seemed to take it personally when you would throw those papers in your trash can, forgetting about them to continue on with work.

just when you begin to think he’s finally let go of his obsession with you, one fateful morning you end up alone with him in the office.

“ah, beautiful morning isn’t?” he attempted small talk, you only offered a nod and continued filing out your paperwork.

so engrossed in your work you didn’t realize how close he had gotten until you felt his warm breath fanning your shoulder, you naturally flinched. you cocked your head to glance at him, those tired eyes focused on your computer screen.

“what has you working your sweet little head off?” his curiosity would seem genuine to anyone who wasn’t familiar with dazai and his antics.

you cleared your throat, “just recalling the specifics of my previous mission.” he hummed, his slim hand brushing over yours so he could use the scroll wheel on your mouse. you watched as his eyes scanned the document, analyzing your every word.

being so physically close you were forced to take in all the features of him you chose to ignore, for your own good. you knew dazai was an attractive man, and he knew it too. you didn’t dare to look in his eyes anymore so you focused on his hair, unkempt yet still framed his face perfectly and looked fluffy, you wondered if it felt fluffy too.

“it’s hard to focus with you staring me down like a piece of meat, bella.” he whispered, you gasped at such an accusation.

“whatever, in your dreams.” you bit back, feeling flustered.

he turned to look at you, his eyes danced around your entire face, drinking in every detail of you like a book. many silent moments later, his eyes stopped when they landed on your lips, causing even more turmoil in your chest. it was all too much, being under the heavy gaze of someone like him.

“anyways..” you start, trying to find any excuse to break this close proximity. “the others should be here soon, we should start getting stuff done around here.”

he hummed in agreement, backing away at last. now that you felt like you could breathe again you tried your hardest to continue on with whatever paperwork you had. you ignored the tremble in your fingertips, typing away on the keyboard.

once the others started filing into the office the tension eased substantially, you were thankful for that. kunikida was the first to arrive, surprised to see you both already there. you ignored his curious stare, greeting him properly and then returning to your computer. dazai pestered the poor man for a bit before quieting down himself.

you thought that was it, the weird encounter in the office would be the last of his teasing. couldn’t he see you weren’t in the mood for his games, or was this all too amusing for him to care?

fate would put you in a battle against dazai once again just a mere week later. you both sat in front of your boss, a kind man by the name of fukuzawa. in your months here at the agency your respect for him has only grown, his admiration for his employees and the work they do warmed your heart. you truly felt grateful to be under the command of someone as strong-willed and humble as he was.

“there’s a murder scene i’d like the two of you to look into, please go gather evidence.” he says, hands folded in his lap while he speaks to you.

you’re both silent as he goes over the details of the case. a body found in the museum with suspicion of a gifted individual being involved, it felt as normal as these missions usually are. once you’re dismissed you and dazai make your way outside to the cab waiting for you.

he rushes to open the car door for you, motioning you inside with an eager smile. you sigh, complying with whatever he was up to.

you shuffle around a bit until you’re comfortable, dazai takes his seat beside you and the car begins moving. while dazai stared out of the window on his side, you occupy yourself with responding to all the messages people have sent you that you pushed aside to finish work. some may call you a workaholic (dazai), others (kunikida) call you a devoted employee, you much preferred the title of a devoted employee. your desire to be of use was finally fulfilled now that you were at the agency, for that you were eternally thankful.

“my dear y/n, i just realized something!” the loud voice of dazai makes you cringe, clutching your poor phone into a death grip.

he doesn’t let you respond, “this is our first time handling a case together alone, just the two of us!” the excitement in his tone makes you irritated.

“and what about it?” your monotonous response makes the brunette clutch his chest, a look of hurt in his eyes.

“we finally get the alone time we’ve been dying to have since our little moment in the office.” if the phone that was still being strangled in your palm wasn’t already broken, it sure was now.

“you totally misread the situation in the office, i wasn’t even looking at you like that!” the anger in your tone came across as an embarrassed yelp, it made his grin grow wider.

there was no point in arguing with a man who has made up his mind, he totally thought you were checking him out and now he’ll never back down. an exasperated sigh left your lips, deeply regretting not taking yosano’s warning seriously.

thankfully, all you had to endure for the rest of the car ride was dazai’s humming to a tune you were unfortunately accustomed to by now. it was hard to forget said song when it was always filling the office air, either by dazai’s singing or the sound blaring from his headphones that were definitely not noise-canceling.

hell, you even caught yourself humming the tune from time to time, not that you’d ever let someone else find out.

“we’re here.” you thanked the driver, hastily leaving the vehicle before dazai could open the door for you.

the museum in front of you was old, ready to crumble at any given moment, many of the stone bricks were cracked beyond repair and the shrubs that surrounded the entrance were all dead or dying. you never got the details on whether or not the place was even running anymore.

“this museum shut down years ago and no one has bought it since, perfect place to commit murder.” dazai appeared beside you, seemingly answering the question to your thoughts.

you nodded in agreement, stepping inside without a second thought.

inside all you could see was chaos, shattered glass from broken display cases and graffiti littering the walls. it almost pained you, seeing how this once beautiful sanctuary of history was now torn to shreds for no good reason.

you found what you were looking for quick, the bright yellow caution tape gave it away. you’re sure the police had already come to take the body, so it didn’t surprise you when you didn’t see anything there.

fukuzawa strictly said you were only here to gather evidence, so that’s what you’ll do. while you got to work, dazai lazed around the building, kicking random trash around to entertain himself. he would giggle when you scolded him for tampering with possible clues.

you knew you were only here to gather evidence but something about the whole situation felt so strange to you, leaving you no choice but to investigate further. normally, you pride yourself in how well you are at gathering information needed for an investigation, but this time around you were completely stumped.

it had your brain so wracked you even contemplated calling ranpo, however you fought against it since you knew he was already working on a case today and you didn’t want to bother him just because you couldn’t find clues that may not exist.

after a few more minutes of coming back empty handed the realization hit you like a truck, a soft breath leaving your lips at your newfound discovery.

“dazai..” you mumble, still a bit unsure of your conclusion, he only hummed in response.

“i don’t think a murder ever occurred here.” nothing but silence on his part, until you hear the shuffling of his footsteps and his breath hot against your ear.

“well done, flower! to be honest, i didn’t think you would figure it out this quickly.” his hushed voice felt loud with him being so close to you.

you were left confused once again, if dazai knew from the start why didn’t he just say so? or was he the one who orchestrated this whole thing? so many questions reeling through your brain, and dazai was thoroughly enjoying watching you piece together the mystery he created for you.

but alas, he had to cut it short, you two had limited time here after all. fukuzawa would eventually figure out dazai’s antics and there would be hell to pay, that was a problem for later though.

“i made the whole thing up!” he admitted, lips still dangerously close to your ear. “you were always so busy, i needed to get you alone for once.”

you pushed him off you in an instant, anger bubbling inside you. never once did you expect dazai to do something like this, no matter how crazy he was at times. hell, this was beyond crazy.

“you couldn’t have gone about it like a normal fucking person? jesus christ, dazai!” you were now pacing, thinking of all the time you lost entertaining this game of his when it could have been spent at the office or on a real case.

“oh bella please, let me finish.” he begged, stepping close to you again.

you protested for a second time, taking a step back so he couldn’t reach you. it would prove to be the wrong move, your ankle catching on a stray piece of rubble from all the broken displays in this damned building. you’re sent tumbling backwards, a cry leaving your lips as you reached out to grasp dazai’s open arms.

your landing is hard, your ankle throbbing with pain from whatever it was caught on. dazai is at your side in an instant, a look of concern adorning his features as he practically cradled you.

“are you okay?” his voice was serious this time around, so much so that it caught you off guard.

“no, my ankle is bleeding.” you state, clear annoyance in your voice whilst you examine your injury.

you’re caught off guard once again by him effortlessly picking you up from the floor and setting you down on a flat, clean surface. now perched on a white table, you let your other leg dangle off the edge while you tend to your hurt ankle.

dazai claims he’ll be back, that he’s going to search for a medkit around here. you nod, happy to be away from his suffocating presence. you’re not anywhere near free from your thoughts though, the lanky man is still clean in your mind.

you didn’t even know he possessed the strength to lift you like that, he always looked so frail and ready to break at any given. you shake your head from any further thoughts of dazai, that stupid man.

“found one.” he was back again, a small medkit in his rather large hands.

despite your many protests he still insisted on caring for you, acknowledging that this was his fault and the responsibility should fall on his shoulders. you kept your mouth shut while he wrapped your foot in the bandages the first aid kit provided. his soft touches to your swollen skin were light, almost soothing.

you hated this, hated how perfect he was. how were you supposed to ignore such a man when his presence was everywhere. most of all though, you were still thoroughly pissed! he not only wasted your time, but the agency’s time, and that was unforgivable in your eyes.

“why?” you question him, “and don’t give me that bullshit ass excuse from before, or so help me.”

he chuckled at your threatening words, eyes remained trained on your foot. there was a momentary pause before his eyes met yours, his held mischievous undertones.

“i was getting tired of this back and forth, you know.” there he goes again like a broken record, you huffed.

“i don’t know what you’re-“ he cuts you off with a finger to your lips, hushing you in the sweetest way he could muster.

“the other day, when you threw away one of my well thought out love letters i went to retrieve it after you left to the bathroom, can you imagine my surprise to find it wasn’t there anymore?” your eyes widen, like a deer caught in the bright headlights of a hunters truck.

“and then i go to check your locker and i see every single one of them in a nice neat stack.” his finger was taken off your lips, his eyebrow raised as if expecting an answer to his discovery.

“why were you in my locker?” you deflect, feeling embarrassed that he knew about your little secret.

instead of answering he finished wrapping your foot, giving the gauze one final tug before leaving it be. he smiled at you, a smile you couldn’t read. with your legs spread out like they were, it gave him the perfect opportunity to weave in between them and trap your body close to his. he did just that, growing dangerously close to you.

“dazai..” you start, unsure.

he doesn’t say anything, instead focusing on treading his fingers against your waist, eyes never once leaving yours.

“we shouldn’t..” you speak again, your breathing growing more sporadic when he hooks one of his fingers underneath your belt buckle, the way he plays with it is teasing.

“why shouldn’t we, bella? i arranged all of this for us anyways.” his way of showing interest in you, doing something so unsound with little care for the consequences.

but oh god, was it attractive. his touch grew more and more needy by the second and you couldn’t find the desire to push him away, because deep down you wanted this too. you knew you wanted the bandaged detective the second you walked through those doors and saw him sitting there, fiddling with little trinkets he had on his desk looking pretty as ever.

“i think we should put an end to this cat and mouse game, hm?” his voice fills your ears again and this time around you listen, nodding whilst wrapping your arms around his neck to pull him even tighter against you.

he’s first to put his lips on yours in a desperate, longing kiss. he tastes sweet, probably from whatever chapstick he uses. the kiss is deeply rooted in lust yet affection as well, he squeezes your waist in the lightest way possible.

“dazai!” you moan out, surprised when he bites your bottom lip teasingly.

“osamu.” he says through the kiss. “call me osamu.” and then he’s back to attacking you, hips rutting into yours.

you think you’ll pass out with how long he’s been kissing you but he eventually pulls away, leaving you gasping for air. he wastes little time, discarding his pants and helping you with yours, the desperation evident in his eyes as he stands before you in just his boxers and dress shirt. he looks like a crazed man who had been holding back for far too long.

once you’re free from the confines of clothing it allows him to truly feel you, his palm cupping your heat. he runs two fingers across your slit before prodding them at your entrance.

“so beautiful, everything about you is so beautiful.” he whispers, stopping his hand entirely.

“dazai.” you say again, sounding more desperate than before, it was even possible.

“osamu.” he corrects, his voice still soft but held hints of firmness.

you repeat his first name back to him and he finally slips two fingers into your cunt. his long fingers are able to reach parts inside of you that your own fingers can’t, the new length has you bucking your hips into his hand.

he lets out a muffled giggle but says nothing, his eyes watching the way you suck his fingers in with every thrust. he looks entranced by the sight, it leaves you feeling shy. you have no time to dwell on your embarrassment as he picks up his pace, along with adding a third digit to your already full pussy.

the stretch of the third finger and the change in pace has you throwing your head back, nails clawing at the table you were perched up against just to give yourself some sort of stability.

you feel your climax approaching quicker than you anticipated, shaking your head from the overstimulation. just before you were about to reach your high, it was ruined by a muffled ringing in dazai’s discarded pants. he pulls his fingers out of you in a swift motion, ignoring your whines of protest as he reaches to grab the phone from his pants pocket.

“hey boss.” he starts, his voice as quirky as ever.

you could hear fukuzawa’s irritated tone through the phone even if you couldn’t pick up his exact words. dazai simply hummed and nodded in agreement, even letting out an apology for the time wasted on a fake case. within just a few minutes the call was over, and dazai’s smile had grown even larger.

he ended the call with a sigh, a pout on his lips that told you he was definitely in trouble when you two got back to the agency. you wondered what excuse he’d give the boss, and what punishment he would receive for lying.

“i’m truly saddened to have to cut this short.” you knew he meant it, you gave him a smile.

“it’s okay, we’ll continue it tonight after we see what kind of hell fukuzawa is gonna put you through for this.” the promise of this continuing excited him, and for once he couldn’t wait to get back to the office to finish up his job.

he helped you put your pants back on before putting on his own, making sure your injury was still well taken care of. this time you don’t fight him even once, allowing him to assist you to the car that was waiting outside for the two of you.

#dazai osamu x reader #dazai osamu #dazai odamu smut #bsd x reader #bungo stray dogs x reader #bungou stray dogs #dazai osamu x reader smut #dazai x reader #osamu x reader #bsd smut #bungo stray dogs smut #bungo stray dogs #bsd x reader smut

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mrsdarkandyandere7 · 2 years

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Dark HOTD - You allow them to visit brothels

Dark Daemon, Aegon, Aemond and Jace.

▶ This is a yandere/dark work and it may contain triggering content so please READ THE WARNINGS before. Do not read if minor.

More at Masterlist

(female reader)

WARNINGS: Mentions of Non-con; Breeding kink.

AN: Please, reblog and give me feedback.

Daemon

Daemon is actually amused when you bring this up. He’ll smirk as you lie that you only want him to be fully pleased with the touch of professional women instead of you, but he can see right through your facade.

You clearly want him to leave you alone. Okay, so maybe he is relentless, compelling you to have sex multiple times a day but how is he supposed to resist to your magnificent body?

Daemon will twist your words, instead. If you’re “concerned” about not being able to fully satisfy his carnal needs then don’t worry, he’ll teach you.

He’ll take on every opportunity to teach you and it becomes a kink for him. To give you lesson on how to give and take pleasure, educating his pure wife how to properly fuck.

You’ll end up being caught by servants one too many times on your knees, head between Daemon’s legs as his hand envelops your hair, guiding you to suck him off.

"Do not worry, my love. I understand how afraid you are of the possibility of not being able to give me pleasure but I assure you that from now on I'll take upon myself the task of teaching you the depths of pleasure."

Aegon

Now, why would Aegon still visit brothels when he finally has a wife that can take care of him?

Not to mention that you’re now the only source of pleasure and lust for Aegon, you’re all he can think about. Not a moment goes by without him trying to allure you back into your private chambers for a quick release.

It’s clear that you don’t like it but he doesn’t care. It’s your duty as wife, you’re there to please him, whether you like it or not.

And even if you outrightly try to refuse him, Aegon will just force you to do his bidding. Nice try but Aegon isn’t gonna give up on his favorite plaything.

"Did you truly believe that I'd still visit those filthy whores when I finally have you? My pretty wife whose duty is to please me? If you wish to apologize to your husband, then get on your knees."

Aemond

Aemond will remain silent as you speak, analyzing you as you stutter words out. The only answer you get from him is a cryptic hmm and then he dives back into the book, so unbothered that you feel like he didn’t even listen to any of your words.

And yet night after night, Aemond still comes to share a marital bed with you. If you really thought that he’d visit brothels instead of you, then you don’t know enough of Aemond. He doesn’t enjoy brothels, they’re filthy and gross.

He can’t cum to anyone else other than you, his beautiful wife. It’s a mix between lust and possessive, that you’re his, fully his.

It’s his cock that stretches you every night, it’s his cum that sticks inside of you and soon it will be his child to grow in your belly. You’re the only one that should bear his children, the true Targaryen blood.

You’re the only one that he’ll bed, independently of how you feel about that.

"I have no interest in seeking pleasure outside of our marital bed so you may forget about that topic. Or did you sincerely hope that I’d accept that offer? Either way, that won’t be happening."

Jace

Jace isn’t going to be much pleased when you mention this. You’re married to each other and he wants both of you to be completely and entirely faithful to each other.

He dotes on you so much, trying to be a good husband and here you come, throwing shameful suggestions onto him.

Jace is going to be so mad that he won’t talk to you for a whole day as he cools down. Afterwards, he’s going to have an honest conversation on how he wants your marriage to work and for both of you to be fully devoted to each other.

He’ll let you know that he wants you, in every possible way and that isn’t going to change. He’ll make a clear point of informing you that you will be sharing chambers and a bed every night and that won’t change, no matter what.

If you don’t feel inclined to make love on some night when you’re feeling unwell, then you should inform him and nothing needs to happen, but Jace makes it crystal clear that he won’t be seeking pleasure in anyone but you.

"Do not insult me with this vile proposal, my wife. My body and soul belong entirely to you, so do not fear me. Our union will simply be the proof of my burning love for you."

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bitchcakegreen · 4 months

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I finally watched all four episodes of season 3 part 1 and I have thoughts, as a fan and as a screenwriter/former romance novelist, and professional director. I didn’t have netflix but I got it for this season. I did this kinds of analyzations and such during Game of Thrones. Hopefully people enjoy reading. Full disclosure, I have not read any of the Bridgerton books. (I’m about three chapters into Romancing Mr. Bridgerton)

First off, give me all the Pen and Colin all the time. I’ve been hoping they get together from season 1 and I’m so happy Shondaland didn’t make us wait another season, as the books go in a different order. There’s a lot of subtle nuance to Pen and Colin’s scenes, Colin always seeking out Pen wherever they are, the tent pastry scene followed by Colin clearly eating the same pastry as Pen did. The tent scene was freaking hot. I said what I said. Things of this nature make their love affair so lush. It’s that journey to getting to the carriage scene that’s so thrilling.

I didn’t mind Francesca’s subplot or the Mondrich one but I do agree with many I’ve seen here that the subplots almost took over. There was a lot of emphasis placed on things other than Pen and Colin which annoyed me somewhat. Hopefully when we get to part 2 there will be more intense focus on Polin and the subplots are just rotating around them because right now, with the pacing of these first four episodes, it’s the opposite. Polin feel as if they are somewhat an afterthought.

The Cressida redemption movement I don’t think will last into part 2. I think all this work is to try and make the audience sympathize with her and then when she goes after Pen, Pen as Lady D, and so forth we are supposed to think “OH! But she was being so nice.” Hopefully I’m wrong and they follow through on her storyline because if they don’t…they wasted a lot of time and storyline on her instead of focusing on Polin.

I’m ambivalent about Lord Debling, so meh. Sorry about it.

Anthony and Kate - absolutely unnecessary but I know why they brought them in. One, he is the Viscount so he would be around. Two, they are fan favorite. I get it. I accept it. It was just wasted real estate for me. But to each their own.

I love Mr. Finch and I LOVED he got to be such a beaming brother-in-law for Pen in the green dress. I do wish they hadn’t shown us the dress reveal in the trailer. It would have been such an awestruck moment for us to see it first in the show. Sweeping cape removal and glittering loveliness.

Pen’s sisters and their race to get pregnant. It’s all a setup for Pen to be pregnant first or with the male heir by the end of the season. Cute but really long winded in getting there. There is a now since deleted promo clip of Pen, with Colin standing behind her, where she takes his hand and places it on her stomach. So we’re getting a pregnancy nod somewhere next part. May even be why she faints in whatever scene they show in the trailer for part 2.

Eloise needs to get her head out of her butt. I don’t think she’s angry Pen is LW but more angry that she didn’t figure out Pen was Whistledown sooner. She’s mad that Pen didn’t try to see her during the offseason, yet she tells her at the end of season 2 to get the fuck out of her life. Get it together Eloise. I love Eloise, don’t get me wrong, I adore her. I just want her to stop acting like an ass and TALK to Pen.

There is discourse about the second Colin threesome scene, but there really shouldn’t be. There’s a reason for it. It showcases that Colin is done with the charade he’s been playing all season. He isn’t the bon vivant, dashing rake he’s supposed to be. It’s jarring but it’s a scene with a purpose.

All the Polin scenes are delightful. The balloon scene might be my favorite - the pastry scene I include in this. And of course the first kiss and the carriage scene (which lives in my head on repeat) but I have to say, I wanted more Polin screen time. I think if we spliced all the Polin scenes together we see that out of four hours of film, they have maybe a cumulative 1 hour of screen time. Which isn’t much for a couple that is the lead of the season. Hopefully the ratio will be better in part two.

Merit badges and raises to the Featherington coachmen and to Pen’s maid Rae. They are MVPs and are totally gossiping about Polin. You know that tea was flowing in the servant’s quarters about the carriage ride…

Scenes I hope we get in part 2.

1. Full on sexfest with Pen and Colin, the likes to rival Daphne and Simon.

2. Whistledown reveal to Colin. First I want him angry - that passionate angry we use in romance novels. The kind where the hero is always “I’m so mad at you right now I can’t see straight but I need you writhing with passion underneath me screaming my name RIGHT NOW!” kind of angry. I want ripped corsets and torn skirts. If you know you know.

3. Pen and Eloise make up.

4. Big stupid lavish wedding.

5. More unhinged Queen Charlotte wigs. Because reasons.

Sorry this was such a long post, but I needed to get my thoughts out. Thanks for reading if you made it this far. Now excuse me while I go watch part 1 elevenity million more times.

#romance novels #romance writers #polin #bridgerton #writing #bridgerton thoughts #colin bridgerton #colin x penelope #polin bridgerton #writer thoughts #late night writing #bridgerton season 3 #penelope featherington #shondaland #netlfix #bridgerton netflix

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pedriscroquettes · 9 months

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𝐓𝐑𝐔𝐒𝐓 • RORO RIQUELME

summary. your brother’s annoying teammate is hard to resist when he shows off his tattoos.

warnings. smut, oral (fem receiving), weed, alcohol, and griezmann!reader.

a/n. finally wrote for my starboy. based off trust by bad gyal!

ever since you moved to madrid over ten years ago the city had managed to take you by surprise every one of those years. this year was no exception due to the high heat every day. it was a wonder you hadn’t run back home to france already. and somehow your brother had managed to throw a successful pool party with all of his teammates showing up. unfortunately, he had decided to host it in your house claiming that you had a better pool when in reality he just didn’t wanna deal with the aftermath.

you close the book you’re trying to read but you can’t make it past the first page as the sun blazes on your skin. beads of sweat form on your body for the simply act of sitting outside. you just hope that in this misery you can’t at least get a good tan. although, that thought doesn’t last long as you’re soon drenched in your own margarita. the cold drink making your exposed skin shiver. you look up locking eyes with the culprit. roro approaches you slowly with an unbuttoned t-shirt, exposing his hidden tattoos.

“shit. don’t tell antoine.” he picks up the football not even offering an apology.

“is he that scary?” you tease him.

“no he isn’t but your tantrums are.” he smirks at his words.

you look up at him making sure to cover your eyes from the sun in the process. his sudden change in demeanor interests you and you find yourself drawn to him. he’s always tried his best to get under your skin despite knowing who your brother was. he didn’t care and you admired that. carefully you place your hand on his chest slowly dragging it down until it’s placed on his rib cage tattoo.

“i’d be careful if i were you, roro. don’t forget who my brother is. better put that mouth to better use.” you offer him a smile.

“doesn’t it suck?” he places his hand on top you’re stopping it from wandering off even lower. “being second to your brother always? you can’t even threaten me without bringing him up because in reality no one cares about you. some people don’t even know you exist.”

this time you’re the one left speechless and not because of his words, in truth you didn’t care what anyone said about you, but because he’d finally been able to use cruel words to defend himself. he’s always held back never once trying to get into your bad graces. maybe it was the humid weather that made him not care anymore.

the party continued with countless plastic cups being thrown around the yard and countless splashes could be heard one after the other. yet you found yourself analyzing the brunette in the pool. fully shirtless now allowing you a view of his back tattoos. you would’ve never guessed he’d be one to ink himself by the innocent smile he wore everyday.

unbeknownst to you, your actions didn’t go unnoticed. paddy, marco’s wife, had noticed how your eyes kept wandering off to the brunette. she had tried inviting you on a brand trip for the fifth time and you’d changed the subject for a fifth time.

“i mean look at him! everyone thinks he’s this innocent little guy but he isn’t. what an asshole!” you ranted to her as she drank from her mojito.

“fuck him.” she muttered tired of him being the topic of conversation.

“exactly. if only everyone else could see what a horri-”

“no. fuck him.” she rolled her eyes.

“what?” you turned towards her trying to find out the meaning behind her words.

“it’s clear you want to sleep with him and he probably wants to as well. so do it. get it over with! i can’t hear you complain about him one more time.” she sighs.

“you can’t possibly be serious paddy?” you scoff.

“i’m never been so serious about something in my life. i’ve had hate sex with marcos all the time and it’s arguably the best sex i’ve had in my life.” she continues drinking her mojito as if what she had just said was the most normal thing ever.

“do it or some other girl at this party will.” is the last thing she says to you before she wanders off looking for her husband.

the sun is soon replaced by the moon as the hours go on and it seems your brother’s party has only grown in size. you hope your brother is sober enough tomorrow to clean after his mess because you sure wouldn’t be doing anything. your brother is lucky he lives retired from the city so you don’t get any noise complaints as the music blasts through the backyard. it’s the perfect atmosphere for a get together and a perfect atmosphere for paddy’s suggestion.

you carry your drink inside careful to avoid any spillage. you analyze everyone hoping to find the brunette and when you do you head directly towards him with no hesitation. you’re so close to him when you trip, accidentally of course, and your drink lands all over his white button down shirt. you stand up quickly looking quite concerned and confused.

“fuck i didn’t mean to sorry.” you murmur the last bit feigning innocence because you absolutely meant to spill your drink all over him. “you can borrow one of antoine’s shirts.”

“it’s fine.” he mumbles clearly annoyed at what just occurred.

“no, i’ve been mean. it’s the least i could do.” you offer a truce.

he analyzes your face for any hint of malice but doesn’t find any. a part of him wants to take your offer of help but the other part is still hesitant. ultimately he decides he doesn’t want to walk around with a wet and sticky shirt for the rest of the night. he sighs before agreeing. you quickly grab his hand before he can say anything and drag him towards the spare room.

“this one or this one?” you hold up two button downs. one is a bright shade of baby blue and the other a plain white one similar to the one you had ruined.

he chooses the baby blue button down not waiting another minute to change into it. he rushes causing two packets and a heavier material to fall out of his pockets. quickly he tries to retrieve them before you see them but you’re faster. you let out a loud exaggerated gasp at the sight of the pills and vape.

“you? no way.” you almost laugh at how surprising he was. first the tattoos, then the attitude, and now this. he was truly unpredictable. “don’t you have to take doping tests?”

“who do you think gets me cleared before matches?” he asks as he grabs the pills and the vape from your hand. although, you manage to take the vape back noticing what it contained. you inhale.

“my brother.” you exhale causing the smoke to invade his face. “does he give you the weed too?”

“just give it back.” he holds his hand out waiting for you to comply.

you obviously don’t choosing to sit on the bed instead taking another puff. your movements cause your black sarong to move up your legs giving him quite the sight. it was a shame that you were so attractive because you were equally as annoying. and if you weren’t your brother’s sister rodrigo would’ve tried to at least attempt a move on you. but because you were so determined tonight you’d make sure he would.

he walks towards you hoping to take his personal belongings back. after all he’s stronger more agile he should be able to snatch them away from you. but he forgets that you’re faster and every time he tries to reach for them he only ends up dangerously close to your body. you notice he never managed to button up his shirt and his rib cage tattoo is once again exposed to you. you place your hand on it knowing it’s your one chance to get what you want.

“what does it mean?” you look up at his brown eyes finding them already staring right at you.

“what are you doing?” he sighs frustrated at your weird antics.

“nothing.” you answer simply.

there’s a short pause between the two of you with silence filling the air. the two of you are practically chest to chest and you’re so close to getting what you want. what you need. you act first kissing him. after all you could blame it on the drugs in case this ends up being a huge mess. you expect him to pull away but he does the complete opposite grabbing your jaw as he deepens the kiss. they say it’s always the silent ones and he confirms those rumors.

your hands find themselves in his curls tugging on the strands as he leaves wet kisses along your jaw. meanwhile his hand finds it’s way around your throat pulling you closer to him as the two of you roughly kiss. it’s the opposite of gentle, what you enjoy. you gain the confidence to drag your hand down his bare chest all the way to the hem of his shorts when he stops you by grabbing your hand.

“what are you playing at?” he steps away from you. once again analyzing you and your facial expressions trying to figure out why you wanted to sleep with him.

“i don’t know what you’re talking about roro.” you say his nickname so sweetly and somehow also seductively.

“bullshit. one minute you’re threatening me and the next you’re all over me. you couldn’t get anyone else to sleep with you?” he asks in a more serious tone. you enjoy the view of a shirtless heated roro.

“i didn’t want to sleep with anyone else. but if you don’t want to then i’ll guess i’ll have to find someone else.” you begin to stand up.

you’re immediately pushed back down by the midfielder shocked at the force. it somehow turns you on even more.

“then say it.” he demands.

“say what?” you look up at him.

“that you want to fuck me. say it.” he demands once again.

“roro…” you brings your hands up his torso and wrap them around his neck locking eyes with him as you bring him closer to you once again. “i want you to fuck me.”

that’s all it takes to push him off the edge and his lips are once again on yours. the kisses are rough and quick and you find yourself tugging on his bottom lip to provoke him even more. it’s all so sensual like a scene on television. his hands roam your body ultimately landing on your ass as the two of you gravitate towards each other. you can feel his hard on against the fabric of your swimsuit. you’re pretty sure he can feel your growing arousal as he begins to grind himself against your clothed core.

you don’t wait another second in taking off his shirt allowing a perfect view of his forming biceps and his tattoos. it’s almost unfair how long he’s been hiding himself. you’re keen on making sure this happens again. so you proceed to flip the two of you over ending up in his lap. the new angle allowing you to see his face perfectly. you hate how pretty he looks and how he’s basically forbidden fruit. the aching in your core continues to grow and you realize you have to do something about it.

“fuck, roro. touch me.” you practically beg.

you’re answered with a smirk at first but he obliges bringing his hand to your lower body. he’s moving his hand as slowly as possible, teasing you, and you’ve had enough. you placed your hand on top of his dragging it to where you need it the most. he moves your sarong to have better access to your core, taking off the bottom part of your swimsuit in the process. you continue to guide his fingers to your folds.

“fucking hell.” he groans as he feels your wetness.

he starts slowly rubbing circles along your folds which instantly brings you pleasure. his movements cause you to let out loud moans which he quickly tries to silence by kissing you. the last thing he needed was anyone walking in on the two of you. as he kisses you he continues to spread your wetness. he decides that’s enough foreplay and drags one of his fingers towards your hole.

“can i?” he asks you wanting to make sure you’re still okay with what’s going on.

“please.” you murmur.

he enters you slowly making sure you adjust to the intrusion. you cling onto his arms at the new sensation, holding back a moan as he stretches you out. it’s almost embarrassing how much he’s been able to surprise you in the span of a couple of hours. he wraps his arm around your waist to help you adjust and keep you grounded. you reach up for him again kissing him as he begins to pump his finger inside of you. it’s such an intimate moment and he’s been able to comfort you more than any other guy you’ve slept with before.

“fuck, more.” you practically beg.

he obliges inserting another finger instantly groaning at how you clench around him. you squeeze his fingers so tight he swears he could cum in his boxers. the way you look under him doesn’t help him either. he’d always admired you except for your attitude but now that he had you he couldn’t give you up. your moans also encourage him to go faster wanting to pleasure you in the best way possible. he can only think about you right now and the way his fingers feel inside of you.

“so close roro.” you murmur. your nails digging deeper into his biceps.

then out of nowhere the building up orgasm inside you disappears as his fingers leave you. you’re about to yell at him when you see him kneel.

“do you trust me?” he asks suddenly.

“yes.”

his fingers are soon replaced by his tongue. the sight of his curls in between your legs alone make’s your pleasure build up again. as he laps up your juices your fingers find their way into his hair pulling him even closer to your core. it doesn’t take long for the knot in your stomach to unfold and soon you’re orgasming on his tongue.

“what the fuck roro.” you say shocked.

instead of responding he simply kisses you again. it’s quite an intimate moment as he moves the strands of hair from your face. the two of you separate from each other and there’s a comfortable silence between you too. the act is so domestic as the two of you simply stare at each other. unfortunately, it’s interrupted as someone knocks loudly on the door.

“who’s in there? i need a shirt.” antoine slurs.

“shit. shit. shit.” rodrigo steps away from you adjusting his clothes and finally getting his vape.

“hide in the bathroom.” you urge him as you adjust your sarong before heading towards the door.

he doesn’t know why he does it but he pulls you closer by your waist before kissing you one last time before heading for the bathroom. you’re taken aback but can’t help but grin a little at the action. it’s going to take more than your willpower to stop yourself whenever you go to anymore games in the future.

#so… 🧍🏽‍♀️#roro 😊😊😊#rodrigo riquelme smut #rodrigo riquelme x reader #football smut #football imagine #football fic #gabri writes

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aemondgirlfriend · 11 months

Text

34+35

Michael Gavey x Reader!Fem

summary: You need help with math and your best friend suggests getting help from your classmate Michael Gavey.

WARNING: smutt, a little cuteness, hanging, finger twisting, unprotected p/v sex, oral sex (f receiving), spitting, and a lot of slutty. Be happy 🫶

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT! i will block you immediately.

English is not my first language. Hope you enjoy!

The days at Oxford University weren't easy for you. The semester was about to end and you hadn't achieved the required grade in one of the subjects in your course. You spent day and night studying the content, but it never seemed to get into your head. You were a person who was easily distracted, if a fly landed on your book you would look at it and stare at it until you remembered what you were doing and went back to studying. The hours in the college library and the late nights in his room weren't working, nothing was working.

You definitely needed help.

“— Y/n, you need to ask someone for help. Math doesn’t enter your mind and you need that grade.”

You had your head down on the patio table, muttering about how useless and stupid you were.

“—Talk to Michael, he can-“

"- NO!"

You shouted with wide eyes, catching the attention of the other students around you. His cheeks turned red when he realized he was receiving attention and he laid his head back on the table.

“— I can’t ask him for help.”

"- Why not? Just because you're attracted to him doesn't mean his help isn't worth it to you.”

“—That’s exactly the problem, Riley.” You lifted your head and faced your best friend and roommate. “— He will distract me.”

Riley rolled her eyes. “— Everything distracts you, y/n. Absolutely anything. Your test is in a week and you can't study, give him a chance.”

You raised your head and leaned back in the chair, biting your lip, then huffing.

“—Okay, I'll talk to him. Well, I'll try to talk to him, since he and Oliver don't sit still.”

“— Well...you can try your luck now, the big boy is entering the courtyard alone.”

Your eyes widened and you placed your palms on the table, shaking your head at Riley.

“—Don’t even think about-“

“—Michael! Michael Gavey! Oliver's grunt! Can you come here quickly?”

Your cheeks heated up again and you wanted to choke your best friend. You heard the footsteps approaching your desk and tried to maintain your posture, trying to keep your slight attraction to Michael from ruining everything. You sighed as his soft scent entered your nostrils and looked to the side only to see him with a small smile on his thin lips.

“—What do you want from me, Riley?”

Her voice, how you liked it. Whenever he started talking in the classes you shared, you stopped what you were doing just to listen to him. The accent, the soft yet thick tone, the way he always smiled when he spoke. You would do anything to be able to hear his voice in your ear, just for you as he squeezes your-

“— Isn’t that right, y/n?”

You shook your head and frowned.

"- What?"

Riley rolled her eyes and kicked her leg under the table.

“—I was talking to Michael about helping you with the material.”

“—Oh! Yes, yes, I…I’m having trouble, some help would be nice.” You finally looked at him, noticing that his glasses were on top of his head, making him even more handsome. “— But if you can’t, there’s no problem, I can do my best and-“

“—I don’t mind helping.” he cut you off. “— I don’t have much to do until next semester, since I passed my classes. When is your test?”

“—Next week, Tuesday.”

He nodded, taking out his cell phone and handing it to you.

“— Write down your number, we can see when you will be available to study and decide on a meeting point.”

“— She’s always available, cute.” Riley winked at him and he put a smile on the corner of his lips.

“— I’m available at any time you are too. This matter is my priority.” You typed your number into your cell phone and gave it back to him.

He analyzed the number and typed something, his cell phone then beeping with a message.

“— I sent you a message to let you know it’s me. Then we’ll talk later, okay?”

You smiled and nodded. Michael got up from the table and put his cell phone in his pocket, putting his glasses on his face.

“— Save my number, I’ll message you soon.”

He pulled away and you could finally breathe normally again. You returned the kick you received from Riley, hearing a grunt in response.

“— I can’t believe you did that, what a shame.”

“— I give you a chance to finally be alone with the hot nerd and this is how you thank me? I need to start reviewing my friendships.”

His eyes rolled playfully and you got up from the table, grabbing your bag.

“— I'm going to take the books from my room and return them to the librarian before she kills me. You will stay?"

“—I’m going to meet Travis in a bit.”

“—Riley…”

“— We’re sorting things out, okay? We agreed that we would do it slowly this time.”

His eyebrows arched.

“— It’s okay, just…don’t let him make a fool of you again or I’ll finish him off.” You walked around the table and kissed your best friend's forehead. “— I’ll send you a message.”

You left the courtyard and headed to the dormitory blocks, going to yours and taking the calculus books, putting them in your bag and heading to the library. You left the books with the librarian and checked the time on your phone, seeing that it was time for your last class of the day. Before you could put it in your pocket, it beeped with a message.

“Did you save my number? I hope so! I thought we could study a little tonight, what do you think? It's good for you?"

You bit your lip and responded quickly.

"It's great! You can find me at-“

You stopped typing to think. It wouldn't be a good idea to take him to your dorm, not with your conditions, it would be too distracting to imagine the things you could do in your bed.

“Can you meet me at the library later? I’m going to my last class now and then I’ll be free.”

His response didn't take long.

“In the library at…8? The librarian doesn’t mind leaving the key with me, I’ve spent the night alone in the library.”

"Perfect. I’ll let you know when I’m leaving.”

"Anxious."

You bit back a small smile and put your phone away, realizing that you were about to be late for class and rushed to class, thinking about the night of studying with Michael.

[…]

You had sent a message to Michael to let him know that you had left class and were going to the library, he didn't respond back and you were afraid that he had forgotten and left you waiting alone in the library, but that didn't happen. When you arrived, Michael was talking to the librarian, a woman in her 60s. She caught their attention as she approached, and the lady handed Michael a key.

“— Don’t forget to lock it, if something happens here I’ll lose my job.”

“— Let’s not forget, Monica. You can watch your soap opera in peace.”

Monica patted Michael's arm and gave you a small smile, picking up her things and leaving the place, closing the door. Leaving the two of you alone and in silence.

Their eyes met and their cheeks automatically burned, and Michael noticed this as a smile appeared on the corner of his lips.

“— I picked some books before you arrived, I thought if we stopped to look it would take a while.”

"- No problem." you smiled.

"- He comes."

He placed his hands in the side pockets of his pants and began walking to one of the tables with you following him. You left your bag on the floor and picked up your materials, placing them on the table while he opened one of the books.

“— It’s going to be a long night, I hope you don’t have commitments tomorrow morning.” He said in a joking tone.

“— I had to cancel some super important commitments, but I think they can wait.” You joined in, earning a low chuckle from him.

You crossed your legs and started paying attention to what he was saying, trying not to get distracted by whatever was trying to distract you, especially him.

Hours had passed since the two of you started studying, and you were exhausted. Not only exhausted, but apprehensive, since even with Michael's explanations, mathematics didn't seem to want to enter her head.

“— …so you need to add 34+35 together with the root of 2 and…Hey, how are you? Do you want to take a break? Am I explaining too quickly? I can try to lower the-“

"- No! It's okay, I just…” you sighed “— I just don't think I'll be able to take this test. Mathematics doesn't enter my head at all. I’m wasting your time, I’m sorry.”

Michael frowned and got up from his chair, going to his side and placing his hand on your shoulder, gently caressing the area.

“— It’s okay, don’t worry. I also had a lot of difficulty when I was younger.”

You laughed nasally. "- I doubt it."

"- Do not believe me? I'm serious!" Michael laughed. “— You know…you should relax. If you stay tense like that, you won’t be able to concentrate.”

“— And how would I relax? Smoking a joint?” You let out a laugh, staring into his face.

“— A joint is good every now and then.” he wet his lips “— But I wasn’t talking about that.”

“—Hmm. And what would you suggest, Michael?”

Michael's free hand rested on your pant-clad leg, his fingers running up and down the thick fabric. You felt your breath hitch, and his eyes dropped to stare at his thin lips.

“—Michael…”

“—Ask me to stop.” he whispered while wetting his lips “— If you ask…I’ll stop and we’ll go back to studying.”

His noses brushed against each other, their breaths coming together.

"- It says…"

His chest rose and fell rapidly, his eyes moving up and down his face.

"- Screw this."

You broke the distance by pressing your lips to his, your hands cupping his face, your finger caressing his soft skin. His hand went up to his waist while the other held his neck, their tongues intertwining with each other. Michael pressed his hand on his neck, his mouth opened a little due to the lack of air and you could feel the smile on his lips. His nimble fingers went to the buttons on his pants, quickly undoing them before he entered the fabric with his fingers, touching her pussy through her panties.

“— You’ll be good to me, won’t you y/n?” his lips trailed across his jaw, biting the flesh of his neck “— So good…”

He swirled his fingers around your covered pussy, making you let out a sly moan. You could feel his smile on his skin as he kissed and nibbled on his neck. You grabbed the side of the chair and hooked your free fingers into the blonde strands of his hair, pulling them tight when he pressed his fingers there.

He pulled away and held your pants by the sides, making you lift your hips so he could lower your clothes a little, taking your panties with him. He separated his legs, leaving them wide open for him to have access to. Michael moaned in satisfaction at the sight of his pussy glistening, her fluid wetting his eager fingers.

“— Is that all for me?”

"- Shut up…"

Michael bit his lip and got up from his chair, moving the books away from the center of the table.

“—Sit on it.” you gave him a look of confusion “—Trust me.”

You did as he asked and sat on the table, letting Michael completely remove your pants. He spread her legs wide, squeezing the flesh of her thighs, then kneeling down. His chest rose and fell rapidly as he watched his every movement.

His lips trailed down each of his thighs, his eyes never leaving his. Michael ran his nose over your pussy, creating some friction, making you shudder a little from the contact. He let out a small laugh, the cold air coming into contact with his wetness.

"- You need to relax."

Michael completely engulfed her pussy, his tongue swirling around her pleasure point. He sucked and rolled his tongue all over your flesh, eliciting desperate moans from you. The sounds got louder as Michael sucked and licked you, making you cover his mouth. He pulled away and removed your hand from your face, giving you a small kiss before kneeling again and lightly slapping your pussy.

“— I want to listen to you. We are alone, don’t hide.”

Michael penetrated you with a finger, taking you by surprise, taking him to his spot inside your tight pussy, adding a second finger afterwards. His moans became loud just as he had asked, and they increased more when he used his mouth again, speaking against her pussy, bringing vibrations to her.

“—Michael…by God.”

His legs shook and trapped Michael's face between them. He ran his free hand up her stomach to one of his breasts, squeezing it hard through his t-shirt. His fingers moved in and out at an absurd speed, driving you into a frenzy. You brought your fingers to his hair and pulled hard when you felt yourself reaching his peak, closing your eyes tightly and feeling weak. You came with a scream, moaning his name loudly, echoing through the library. His legs slowly opened and he got up from the floor, running his hand over his face and wiping away the traces of fluids. He grabbed your chin and kissed you desperately, holding your face tightly.

“— The days I spent watching you. The days I spent watching you walk around in your provocative clothes.” he mumbled against your lips, his glasses fogged up, rubbing his erection against your bare pussy. “You're going to pay for every dirty night I spent jerking myself off. My y/n…my sweet girl.”

You listened in silence, shocked by his words, his confession. That made you want him even more, and you wanted him like hell.

“— I’ve wanted you for so long, Michael.” you pushed your hips towards him, wanting more contact “— Please…”

He bit his bottom lip and smiled.

"- Please what?"

You swallowed hard.

“— Please fuck me. I want to feel you. I want to feel all of you.”

Michael smiled and opened her mouth with his finger, lifting her chin and leaving it wide open, pouring some saliva onto her tongue. You swallowed without hesitation, making him proud with your attitude.

“—My good girl.”

His voice was calm and low, just so you could hear, even if you were alone in the library. He unzipped his pants and freed his fat dick, spraying the precum from the tip. Michael passed the tip between her already lubricated lips again, playing with the tip at her entrance.

“— I’m clean. I want to feel you."

He smiled and hugged your waist, pulling your body closer to the edge of the table, positioning his cock at your entrance, entering slowly. You both moaned softly when he entered completely, filling you. He left and came back again, coming in harder this time. You put your hands behind you, supporting yourself on the table as he moved slowly.

Michael lifted her black shirt, her breasts being exposed to him this time. His lips captured one of them, nibbling and sucking on the nipple as he moved inside you, his moan making your chest vibrate. With his other hand he squeezed her other breast tightly, pulling her nipple between his fingers. You caught his fingers in your blonde locks, pulling them every now and then with a certain force.

“— Such a good girl for me…so tight. Fuck, I'm going to fill you with my cum. You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

His eyes closed as he gripped your waist tightly, his nails digging into your flesh. Michael moved in and out desperately, with brutal force. His body swayed, his chest rose and fell and his moans filled the library as well as the wet noise of his hips brutally colliding.

Michael stared at his body, completely entranced by the beautiful sight in front of him. Sweat running down the side of his neck, your hair sticking a little to his face. It was a sight he had imagined for a long time, but even better. He looked around and remembered that there was a shelf behind him, an idea came into his head. Gavey pulled you onto his lap and you gave him a confused look that soon became clear when you realized where he was taking you. His back hit the shelf, and before you could say anything, Michael was back fucking you, your face hidden in his neck as you screamed for him. His back hurt from the shelf, but at that moment you didn't care about the pain, but rather the pleasure. Michael caressed her pearl as he continued penetrating, her pussy clenching around his dick.

“— You’re coming, huh? Come on, baby, spill on my dick. My good, beautiful girl.”

You were losing consciousness. His eyes rolled back and you closed them tightly, screaming and cumming on his dick, becoming completely soft. Michael held you tightly, fucking you harder and harder, his mouth attached to your ear, your moans becoming more and more breathless. He gave one last thrust before his cum filled you completely, the hot, thick fluid being completely dumped inside you.

Michael laid his head on his shoulder as he tried to control his breathing, you ran your fingers along the back of his neck, caressing the hairs in the area. He lifted his face and dragged his nose down her cheek before kissing her lips slowly this time, stroking her tongue. Gavey pulled out of you, a sigh leaving both your lips at the lack of contact. He sat you down on the chair and picked up your panties and pants from the floor, helping you put them on and getting dressed afterwards. The two of you were silent, but not an uncomfortable silence. His eyes met each other's eyes and he smiled, placing his glasses on his head.

“—We made a mess.” you said and let out a laugh, being joined by Michael.

“— Yes, we did. But that’s okay, we’ll fix it.” You nodded.

Michael got up and closed the books, taking them back to the shelves while you put your materials in your bag. You bit your lip and quickly smiled.

“— Are you ready to go?”

You nodded and got up from the table, slinging your bag over your shoulder. The two of you headed to the exit of the library, where Michael locked it and kept the key in a small hiding place for Mrs. Monica to find the next day.

“— Can I take you to your dorm?” he asked, scratching the back of his head.

“— You don’t need it, it��s close by and-”

In fact, you wanted to. I wanted him to accompany you, I wanted him to stay.

“— You will go back to yours alone.”

He put his hands in his pants pocket and shrugged.

"- Yes I will. Unless you invite me to spend the night in your dorm. You know… I might get kidnapped on my way to the men's block, I don't know…”

You smiled at each other and then laughed. You approached him and cupped his face, leaving a light kiss on his lips.

“—Riley won’t be sleeping in the dorm today, if you’re interested.”

Michael hugged his waist and caressed his face with his other hand.

“— You can be sure that I am very interested. Maybe we can continue to study what the result would be like if we added 34+35 and took the root of-“

You rolled your eyes and cut him off by kissing his lips once again, laughing against them.

“—We know what the result is.”

“—We definitely know.”

#everyone #ewan mitchell #ewan mitchell x reader #ewan mitchell smut #saltburn #michael gavey #everybody

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thus-spoke-lo · 1 year

Text

Pain Management // Trafalgar Law x afab!reader // NSFW/18+

Previous Chapter // Next Chapter Series Masterlist // AO3 Link // Playlist

Chapter 8: Long-Term Side Effects, pt I

Chapter Summary: After his near-confession in the quiet of your room, Law takes time to consider your fate, and makes a ruling on the future of your continued care, one that you refuse to accept. Days pass, and as a decision on your future aboard the Polar Tang looms, you make one last effort to tug at the strings of desire that tether your captain to you.

Chapter CW: afab!reader, no pronouns used; gendered pet names [ex. "good girl"]; angst; abuse of authority; obsessive behavior in reader; vaginal fingering; oral sex [m receiving]

WC: 7.6k

Law’s quarters were more claustrophobic than you recalled, and this time it wasn’t just the oppressive weight of uncertainty and his all-consuming presence making the walls close in around you. Stacks of books and papers threatened to topple over at your feet, clothes were heaped in small piles, half-opened boxes blocked the doorway to the lavatory attached to his room; it was barely-controlled chaos, nothing like you remembered from the night you ended up in his room. It wasn’t clear what he had been looking for, but you did have to wonder if he ever found it.

Law sat in his desk chair, leaned forward with his elbows on his knees and his fingers folded beneath his chin, steely eyes settling on anything and everywhere in the room except for you and the space you occupied. He scratched at the scruff of his chin, moved his hand to the back of neck and rubbed at his skin, jiggled one leg, then the other, then both at the same time; he didn’t have to say a damn thing to tell you where this conversation was going to go. You stood with your upper arm pressed against his door as though hoping to be absorbed into the metal and escape this discomfort, silently trying to will him to say something—anything—to break the thick tension that was trying to suffocate you, as a sharp twinge manifested in your lower left side.

“I’m sorry,” he finally said, wading into the uncomfortable silence. “For earlier—for the way I behaved, and the things I said. That was—well, I wasn’t quite myself.”

Yet, down to the marrow of your bones, you knew Law had been more himself in those moments than he had been since you’d begun your treatment plan, more honest in the way he looked at you with a covetous desire and the way he seemed to claim your body with his mouth, as though he had something to prove to you, to himself.

“It’s okay, I didn’t mind,” you mumbled, a sudden heat overtaking your ears.

“Whether you minded or not isn’t the issue. Every time we’re near each other, these feelings just start to bleed through and I—I can’t stem it. And what I’m doing to you”—his mouth hung open for a moment, as he fumbled for what should come next—“I can’t keep treating you, and acting like everything is fine. I just can’t.”

“Captain, please.” The way you heard yourself ready to beg was degrading, but you couldn’t stop, even if you tried. It was as if you’d wilt without his touch, wither like a summer bloom in the cold of winter, no matter how the ever-dissolving rational part of you knew otherwise.

“The damage is already done, but I can stop making it worse. Just look at yourself. You’re telling me I haven’t made you like this?” Law’s eyes scanning every inch of your face, analyzing the twitch at the corner of your lips and the rapid blinking of your eyes as you tried to suppress a wretched flood of tears.

“So what if you have?” You threw up your hands while you searched for words. “What is it you said to me that night—the night you kissed me? That maybe I just needed the right man to bring it out of me?”

“Stop. I don’t want to think about that.”

“Why not?”

“That’s. Enough.” The way his nostrils flared and the way he drew out each word made something crumble within you, feeling the last vestiges of whatever romance you thought was tethering the two of your together starting to slip from your grasp. He inhaled deeply, closing his eyes. “I’ve taken this time to consider your situation.”

“Which situation?”

“Your medical care.”

“Oh.” Not the situation of his manipulation and your willingness to be malleable for him. Not the situation of the unspoken needs and desires. Not the situation of the feelings that enrobed you both in some warmth you couldn’t seem to handle without burning each other in the process. “And…what have you concluded?”

“I know we’ve seen a lot of progress with your current treatment plan.” He paused, pressing his lips together in a thin line. “But I think perhaps it would be in your best interest if we went ahead with surgical intervention.”

Your mouth opened, then shut as you groped for a response. “I don’t understand.”

“It’s the most appropriate thing to do at this point. It’s not a guarantee, though. I’ve done some reading and I should be able to treat most of it, but it’s possible it may reoccur. If it does, it shouldn’t be for quite some time—possibly years. It’s hard to say. You may still need, at some point, to have everything removed, but this should at least improve your quality of life significantly in the meantime.”

You almost laughed at the absurdity—that just a short time ago, you had practically begged him in the exam room to do exactly what he was proposing right now, to use his devil fruit and take out whatever it was that made you double over in excruciating pain whenever your body saw fit. Yet here you were, more than ready and willing to deny yourself a long-term solution in favor of spending more of your afternoons in his care and more of your nights rutting against your pillow until your next session, the time in between spent ruminating on the extent of his affection for you.

“Take some time to think on it,” he added. “Just try not to mull it over too long, since we’ll need to contact Strawhat.”

“For what?”

“So we can coordinate your return.”

There it was, the fact that you wanted to conveniently ignore—that this submarine was not your home, that this was supposed to be temporary, that you were always meant to go back to the Sunny—was now shoved directly in your face. Your eyes darted around the room, an overwhelming feeling of being trapped suddenly coursing through you.

“And what if I decline the surgery?”

Law finally looked you in the eye and said your name softly, as though he was trying to cajole a stray animal. “Please.”

“What if I decline the surgery?” you reiterated with more conviction, despite the quaver in your voice. “Then what happens?”

“Let me make myself clear,” he said slowly as he stood, his movements careful and calculated. “I have reached a point where I can no longer, in good faith, continue your treatments.”

“But—but they’re working. I’m barely in pain anymore.” You flinched as another jolt shot through you, as if to taunt you, to remind you just how deeply your need for him was rooted. “This is the first time I’ve felt anything close to normal.”

“I know. And I want to help you. You know I do. It’s all I want.” He winced, looking pained as he spoke. “But this—this has to stop.”

“You want it to stop but you did this to me.” It was petulant and immature, but it was true, at least in part—he exploited the way you felt, somehow must have smelled your desire on you like perfume from the moment you came aboard. And yet, while he may have initiated the manipulation, you played right into it, letting him consume your every thought, your every breath, letting that little infatuation overcome you and almost bury you alive. And you learned, all too quickly, how to tug at the strings of his own yearning, to keen just right and say you needed him through the panting breaths of your orgasm, in an effort to pull him ever closer, to try to stoke coals of his heated desires.

“So then I have to end it.” Law’s voice raised slightly. “I don’t want to see you in pain. And that’s why I’m recommending surgery—I can at least do that for you.”

“You never answered me. What happens if I say no?”

“You know you can’t stay with us forever.”

You felt yourself slowly, surely, beginning to spiral in a way you couldn’t pull back from. “I-I can keep my distance.”

“I don’t think you can. I don’t think I can, either.”

“Then don’t.”

“I can’t have you here anymore.” He crossed his arms over his chest and stared at the floor, rocking back on his heels. “Besides, wasn’t this supposed to be temporary? Don’t you want to go home?”

“But it doesn’t have to be temporary.”

“I think we both know it does.”

You ran your tongue along your teeth, trying to ignore the acid that was roiling in your guts. “Am I free to go now?”

Law wore his concern blatantly in his darkened eyes, more than you were accustomed to—it was clear he wanted to comfort you. He wanted to make the pain stop, just as he always did, make you forget for a moment that you were ever hurting to begin with. But you knew it was impossible to expect—he couldn’t give in to you again that quickly, not when he’d already expended the effort to push you away.

“You’re dismissed, if that’s what you want,” he said flatly.

You scoffed as your palm landed do the door handle. “Is it what you want?”

He moved backwards and leaned against his desk, tattooed fingers gripping the edge tightly, his knuckles turning white. He said nothing, and the only sound in the room was the soft groaning of the ship as it propelled you forward into the darkened depths.

“Well then. Have a good night, captain.”

You waited until you returned to your quarters to become untethered, and you wept foolish, irrational tears into your pillow while your abdomen throbbed, the sound of Law’s voice in your head reminding you not to cause yourself too much stress or else you’d work yourself into an episode ringing in your ears.

It was what you wanted all along—a solution that would provide long-lasting relief, and would let you live a life unencumbered. And yet, you wanted nothing more than to reject it, to stay ailing and helpless, so long as it meant that Law would coo and praise you while he gave you respite on his long fingers, even if he would never return the feelings that grew inside you and consumed you, body and soul. The heaving and bitter tears stopped eventually, and you tried to focus on thoughts of your old crewmates, picturing how excited their faces would be when you came aboard again, faces that faded and smudged like old photographs as you drifted into a dreamless sleep.

----------

You walked past the door to Law’s quarters, just as you had been every evening now for days while your impending decision loomed, following you like an stray dog during your work shifts, nipping at your heels as you tried to converse with your crewmates and act as though you weren’t crumbling inside. And every night, you’d find that the door was shut; you’d stand just outside, holding your fist aloft, preparing to rap your knuckles on the metal but never quite committing before you’d retract your hand and return to your room. There was a part of you—the part that was bound tightly in those vines of obsession and desire and some perversion of love—that knew if you could just spill everything that you held inside you, if you could only make him understand, that you could have what you wanted, what you knew you both desired.

The idea of parting with the Sunny—of walking away from the only family you had left in this world, who knew everything you were and everything you dreamed and hoped to be and still loved you anyway—hurt; it hurt in a way that would leave a scar that never would quite heal properly. But truth be told, you weren’t even sure what your dream was anymore; you weren’t sure why you had become a pirate on a whim, running out of the tavern where you’d worked, bottles of booze tucked under your arms while your boss yelled after you, chasing down Luffy and the rest to tell them you’d come with them after all. It was spontaneous, and it was senseless, but it seemed like the only right choice you had made in your whole life up until then. So what was one more reckless decision to add your list of sins? Was the frantic pull to remain here with Law, to devote yourself to him as your captain and your lover, to follow him wherever the ocean took you, really any more absurd than jogging after some group of near-strangers to hitch a ride to somewhere unknown?

Tonight, you noted on your approach that Law’s door was cracked open just slightly, a low light creeping out, seeming to invite you in. You padded towards the sliver in the doorframe and glanced inside—Law was sitting on his bed under the porthole window, his black bedspread wrapped around his shoulders like a cloak, knees pulled to his chest, a book held tightly in his hands. The lantern above his bed swung gently with the movements of the submarine and cast delicate shadows over him now and again, highlighting the sharp lines of his jaw, the hollow of his cheekbones, the dark circles under his eyes.

It was striking how, in the dim light, he simply looked like a man. Not the stoic and alluring stranger that you’d met aboard the Sunny, not your captain, not your doctor, but just some man—a handsome man that, in another life, you could see yourself meeting for the first time in the dark corner of a bar, or in between the shelves of a musty bookstore, a man with whom you could easily imagine the beginnings of a dreamily ordinary romance. But that was not the fate that either of you had been dealt.

The way the light moved over him was so mesmerizing, your thoughts of what could have been in some misty, watercolor other life so compelling, that it didn’t even register when his low voice uttered, “Yes?”

The dull drumming in your ribcage turned into a flutter as you processed that Law had addressed you, despite the fact that his eyes were still on the book in his hands; only a stammering whisper of nothing managed to make its way from your lungs.

“Are you just gonna stand there, or did you want something?” Law asked, loudly flipping to another page.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt you,” you fumbled, only partially lying. You hadn’t meant to interrupt him yet—you had wanted to enjoy that moment just a little more, revel in the quiet comfort of existing near each other for just a little longer.

He set the book down next to his hip and gestured. “Just come in, before someone sees you.”

After a quick glance down the hallway, making sure it was only you who felt compelled to wander the ship in search of something at this hour, you slipped inside his room, carefully closing the door behind you. You crossed the still-cluttered space, gently moving a stack of textbooks aside with your ankle, and sat down in his desk chair, waiting for him to say something to you, something that would surely sound like “No,” with no preamble or closing statement, but he only smirked at you from the shadows.

“You know you’re not supposed to be here,” he said, his voice as smooth as ever, enough to send a spark up your spine.

“You're the one who invited me in,” you responded, one eyebrow raised in accusation, earning you a soft laugh and shake of his head.

“So what is it you want?” He tilted his head, pulling his knees in tighter to his chest. “I don’t suppose you came here tonight to try to sway my decision?”

“Mm…not really.”

“So why are you here, then?”

It was, at its core, a shameful desperation that compelled you to his quarters—you wanted him to see the mess he’d made of you, how he’d ruined you a hundred times over and made it feel like nothing else would ever be enough, like no one else would ever do. But it was also a desire to lay yourself bare that brought you here, an aching need to grant him the gift of seeing the love that had flowered in the depths of you, to lay your heart in his hands and hope he accepted it, held it close, made space for it beside his own.

The words to tell him that you wanted him—not just his hands, or his sweet condescension, or the way he shattered you into pieces with expert precision—but him, with all his flaws, and all that he was and all that he dreamed, never came, never found purchase in your mind. Instead, you finally muttered a stammering, “I don’t know.”

Law sighed and leaned his back against the wall, pulling the bedspread around him a little tighter. “I suppose you don’t have to.”

“Well,” you asked, the word stretching out slowly, as you rested your elbow on his desk, “why’d you let me in?”

A subtle smirk crept across his mouth as he chuckled and shook his head. “I don’t know.”

Then we’re in this together, aren’t we? you laughed in your head as you both avoided each other’s gaze and sat there in the cool quiet of his room, the groaning and whirring of the submarine filling in the spaces between uneasy breaths. As your eyes moved around the familiarity of his cluttered space, the glossy cover of his book caught your attention.

You couldn’t help but smile as you asked, “Is that a Sora comic?”

“Oh. This?” A dusting of blush coated his cheeks as he glanced down at it, then back at you, fiddling with the ankle of his sock as he did. “Yeah. Just something I like to re-read now and again.”

“How funny. I used to read those—many years ago.” You smiled briefly as the few decent memories of your youth—the ones you could actually recall with any degree of clarity—skimmed through your mind.

“Really?” It was all but impossible to not hear the excitement in his voice, to ignore the way his pupils expanded as you spoke. It was unexpectedly charming to see him like this, all his masks having been removed, leaving you with something close to the truth of him.

“Yep.” You leaned closer and inspected it, tempted to pick it up and hold it in your heated hands, suddenly overcome with the urge to connect yourself to the past you barely recalled and the future you stood on the precipice of. “Lost mine after a lot of moving around, but I remember them pretty well.”

“I hate to admit it, but they’re still some of my favorite things to read,” he grinned sheepishly.

“Maybe I could borrow one some time?”

“I have a few issues with extra copies. I could send some with you.”

—when you go, you finished for him in your head.

The urge to resist—to beg, to plead, to dig your heels into the floor and refuse—was unnervingly strong, but you only nodded, croaking out, “That would be nice,” as you felt the weight of reality press down upon your shoulders and you hung your head, staring at the floor in hopes of melting straight through it.

Another moment of strained silence passed, before you heard a hesitant, quiet question: “Would you, maybe—would you want to read with me? Right now?”

You glanced up and saw Law’s tight-lipped smile, his gaze flitting back and forth between you and some spot just beyond you, his book held aloft like a lure, waiting to see if you would accept the bait.

“Um, sure,” you said as you stood up and crossed the small gap to the mattress.

He held the bedspread out to one side like a bird’s wing, beckoning you to join him. You moved to the bed and sat down, shifting into place beside him, and he gently draped the blanket over your shoulders. You sat there in a strangely comfortable quiet for a moment, listening to each other breathe, feeding off each other’s warmth; you leaned your head sideways and rested it against his upper arm, wanting to absorb every bit of this kindness, to keep it and tuck away inside you like a precious gift.

“Shall we get started?” he asked after a beat, looking at you out of the corner of his eye, a twitch of a smile at the edges of his mouth.

“You don’t mind starting over?” you asked as you saw him pluck a bookmark out of the center and move it to the back.

He shook his head. “Not for you I don’t.”

His tongue poked out between his lips as he flipped back to the beginning, moving through the glossy pages with you, pausing now and again to explain some obscure lore, filling in the things you couldn’t remember about the characters with a charming jubilance that seemed to make his entire body vibrate on a frequency compatible with your own. You kept him buzzing with a barrage of questions—some genuinely necessary to jog your memory, others only intended to get him talking again—and basked in the glow of his excited explanations, wanting only to stay in this space as long as he’d let you. A burning heat spread in your cheeks as you occasionally stole fleeting glances at each other instead of the book, feeling his body press into yours even more as you huddled together under the soft light, unspoken words haunting you from just beyond the shadows.

As he neared the end of the volume, he lingered on a page, and you looked up to see his eyes focused somewhere across the room. He leaned forward and set the book on the floor, before muttering, “I want to tell you something.”

“Captain?” An icy feeling flowed through your veins, and your heart started to pound just a little faster, moving the thin fabric of your shirt.

“When we met for the first time…” He trailed off, running his tongue along his lower lip for a moment. “The night before I left, when everyone was drinking, Nami may have let something slip to me.”

“Oh, did she?” Goddammit, Nami.

“I mean, I didn’t see why you’d—it just seemed like something she’d say to mess with me and get some sort of reaction from me, I don’t know. I just figured she was drunk, and I didn’t really trust her.”

“No?”

“I mean, I wasn’t blind,” he said, bringing one hand to the back of his neck. “I saw the way you looked at me across the dinner table, and how you seemed to light up whenever we talked, and—I think I knew somehow that she wasn’t just making it up. I just didn’t want to believe her.”

You turned to look at him, seeing the strain in his expression, how his admission seemed to agonize him. “Why not?”

“Because I can never lose what isn’t mine.”

He slid his hand under your palm, interlacing his fingers with yours, his skin cool to the touch. A soft puff of air left your lips as you held his hand tightly, and you let yourself wonder frivolous thoughts about what could have been—what would have transpired if he’d said something before you parted ways last time, if he’d only taken you by the hand and confessed his own blooming crush, kissed you softly in the light of the setting sun, held you close to him until you had to watch him leave. Maybe you would have followed him then, or maybe you would have accepted it as just another part of a life constantly in motion. But you weren’t given the option, and instead, a feverish obsession grew inside you like weeds.

“Just ask me to stay and I will,” you whispered, leaning into him more.

“You’re telling me you don’t want to go back?” he questioned, tilting his head back against the wall. “You don’t miss them?”

“Of course I miss them. But—”

“Then you need to go home.”

“Please, Law,” you said, your voice hushed and wavering. “What I need is you.”

His eyes fell shut and he let out a shivering exhale as his name left your lips. “That’s not fair. You know that’s not fair.”

“Neither was making me want you the way I do.” You ran your fingers up his forearm, tracing the outlines of his tattoo.

Law reached across your body and grasped your chin between his fingers, turning your head towards him, your body following, your eyes locked on his. His hand moved up and drifted across your face, his fingertips dragging along the contours of your jaw, memorizing the soft round of your cheek, his thumb sweeping across your lower lip, tugging it down gently.

“You sure you really want this?” he asked, his eyes flitting over your face, as if trying to read whatever words you were about to say before they even formed. “You sure you want this with me?”

“I’m sure.”

It was every bit of permission he needed to drop those last layers of formality that separated the two of you; he leaned forward, his nose grazing yours, and you felt his warm breath spread over your skin. Law’s eyes drifted shut as he tentatively pressed his lips to yours, holding them there as his palm slid down your cheek and came to rest at the back of your neck, cradling your head in his hand. The hesitance gave way at once to hunger, and he softly groaned as his warm tongue slipped between your lips, impatient and demanding, his mouth engulfing yours in long, drugging kisses as he gripped the back of your neck tighter and pressed you into him like he didn’t dare let you slip away.

He laid you down, pulling your body against him as he bit and sucked at your lips, and he slotted his firm thigh in between your legs, pressing up into your clothed cunt as you laid face-to-face. Everything suddenly felt jumbled, hearts racing, hands moving over clothed flesh, tongues tasting the salt of each other’s skin, quiet noises of pleasure mixing in the air between you. Law’s wandering hand found the hem of your shirt and moved under it, the warmth of his palm welcome against your skin. A low growl lingered in his chest as he carefully grasped your breast, kneading it in his hand, feeling how your skin tightened under his palm, before rolling your pebbled nipple between his thumb and index finger until you moaned into his mouth.

He broke away from the sweetness of your mouth to hush you. “You have to be quiet for me, okay?”

“Of course, whatever you say.” You would have agreed to almost anything if meant he wouldn’t stop, if he’d keep you wrapped in his addictive embrace forever.

A familiar shameless grin stretched across his mouth, as he rewarded you with the praise you coveted, the sweet words that echoed in your head: “That’s my good girl.”

His lips captured yours again, as if to keep you quiet by occupying your mouth, and you slowly started to grind against his thigh, needing something to satisfy the ache that was beginning to build. Law groaned under his breath at your movements, and you felt the weight of his own arousal start to press into your leg as he rutted against you, the two of you building a slow and steady rhythm as you extracted your own pleasure from each other’s bodies.

Law gradually moved his free hand down your form, as if he was trying to map every curve, every dip, every peak and valley and commit it to memory. He removed his thigh from between your legs as his large hand slipped down the front of your sweatpants and meandered past the waistband of your panties, his fingertips moving down your soft mound to the apex of your slit. You sucked in air through your teeth as he wasted no time, making firm, persistent circles over your swollen clit, sending a warm rush of pleasure through your lower half.

After a few moments, he unhurriedly slid his fingertips down your dampened pussy lips, slipping his middle and ring fingers inside you, biting down on his lower lip and drawing in a sharp breath as he felt how drenched you were for him, how he was making you as desperate and needy and malleable as he liked you to be. Law crooked his fingers upwards and shallowly thrust in and out, while the heel of his palm pounded against your tender bundle of nerves repeatedly with every movement of his wrist.

“Fuck, I love the way you make me feel,” you huffed into his shoulder, as you rocked your hips in time with his movements, pressing your pulsing clit more firmly against his hand.

“I know you do,” he purred, “why do you think it’s so hard for me to stop?”

It wasn’t going to be long before he’d unravel you, days of wanting and yearning built up inside your core, an impatient heat burning away for him, one only he knew how to quell. Your quaking thighs pressed together around his forearm, and an unbearable need to feel yourself spasm around those long, skilled fingers of his obscured your every rational thought.

“I know you’re close,” he whispered through a cocky grin as his fingers moved a little faster, plunged a little deeper while you moaned into his pillow, a familiar tremble moving through your core. “I can feel it.”

“Fuck, ‘m gonna cum, Law,” you whined against the softness of his shirt, your every nerve feeling like it had been set ablaze.

“That’s it, stay nice and quiet, and breathe through it for me,” Law panted in your ear. “Cum for me. Cum on my fingers like a good girl.”

A sharp wail hitched in your throat and you clenched your eyes shut as you groped at his shirt, grabbing a handful of fabric in your fist. That wire inside you wound tighter and tighter, and with a few last hard thrusts of his fingers, you felt a blinding, white-hot moment of release, your walls fluttering and pulsing around him while you keened his name into his chest, singing it straight into his heart, finally feeling that ache begin to fade with every shudder.

“I love the way you say my name,” he whispered hotly in your ear, his soft lips caressing your jaw and neck. “It’s like a fucking drug.”

He slowly pulled his hand out of your pants and slipped his arousal-covered digits past his lips, sucking every drop of your juices off them. A shudder ran through you as you watched how his eyes fluttered as he pulled his fingers out of his mouth with a soft pop; he eagerly reclaimed your lips afterwards in a greedy kiss, and you could taste yourself on his tongue as it swept inside your mouth.

“You always know how to ruin me,” you murmured as he tugged at your kiss-swollen lip with his teeth, before soothing it with the tip of his tongue.

He nuzzled against your cheek. “I think maybe I was always meant to.”

Your shaking hand nervously worked its way up Law’s shirt, wanting to finally feel what you’d only admired from a distance, touch what you’d dreamed of as you writhed in bed at night. Soft little moans crept up his throat as you ran your hand over the contours of bone and sinew, fingertips brushing over the hard, warm muscles of his chest and trailing down the corrugated leanness of his abdomen. The stiff fabric of his sleep pants scratched against your hand as you moved further down and rested your palm on his clothed cock; he inhaled sharply and you felt him throb into your hand.

“Is this alright?” you asked, stilling your movements and feeling the heat of him against your palm.

“Y-yeah,” he choked out. “S’good.”

You slowly moved your hand over his length, feeling the head swelling against the heel of your palm, feeling how he pulsed with every gentle motion and how a darkened, wet spot began to form from how his aching cock leaked for you with every subtle stroke. Law’s eyes were closed, his eyebrows knitted together in something that looked like blissful torment, soft puffs of breath leaving his lips. His hips rocked against your hand as you palmed him, and you couldn’t help but want more, to have him in your grip without the barrier of fabric between you—to know if the way you’d imagined how he would feel and look so many times was anything close to reality. Your hand moved up and you tried to maneuver past the waistband, but found it to have little give.

“Wait, here, let me—” He hastily pulled down his pajama pants, moving to lay on his back, one arm behind his head, the other stroking the top of your hand. He eyed you nervously, as you took in the sight of his cock for the first time—the thick shaft was nestled in a dark bramble of pubic hair, his length as significant as you had pictured it in your lust-addled mind as you’d grind against your pillow on sleepless nights, the swollen head now a dusky pink as it throbbed for you.

“Fuck,” you remarked without thinking, noticing how it curved upward just slightly, wondering how that might feel inside you, if he’d stretch you deliciously as he slowly pushed into you, if it would hit all those sensitive spots deep within your walls in the way his fingers always could—or better. “It’s…yeah.”

A deep and pervasive blush spread over his face while an incredulous smirk formed on his lips. “So good you’re almost speechless, huh?”

“That good,” you grinned as your hand moved up his thigh, fingers lightly moving over his skin, teasing him with every touch that wasn’t yet concentrated on his twitching length. His quickening breaths were intoxicating, and the way he watched your every movement through his dark lashes, his pupils blown, was heavenly; if you weren’t so very eager to feel his hardness in your hand, you would have tormented him a little more, until his he was practically drooling and frantic for your touch. As it was, you thought he had gone long enough without knowing how it would feel to have you give him as much relief as he always gave to you, until his muscles were sore and he was desperate to cum, and you certainly didn’t want to make him wait any longer.

You wrapped your hand around the base of his shaft, squeezing it gently to watch him swell, before lowering your mouth to him, kissing and running your tongue over the head, tasting the salty, sticky precum that had smeared over it as you had palmed him through his pants. His abs tensed and his hands gripped the sheets as your tongue flicked underneath the tip, then moved to lavish him from top to base, making soft sweeping motions over every inch of his length, coating him fully in saliva that glistened in the dim light.

His mouth hung open as he watched your tongue moving over him, your fist lazily pumping his shaft. “God, it’s even better than I imagined.”

“Yeah?” you asked, the word muffled as you tapped his pulsing length against your flattened tongue. “You’ve thought about this?”

“Y-yeah,” he blushed, his ears reddened. He reclined back on the pillow and laid his forearm over his eyes, not wanting to meet your gaze while he surrendered to some impulsive urge to tell you every sordid secret he held in his chest. “How could I not? I’d come back here at night and sometimes my hands would still smell like you. And—fuck—I’d just lay here and—god, I’d feel so guilty, but I wanted you so bad it hurt if I didn’t.”

“Good to know it wasn’t just me, then.”

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Law muttered breathlessly as you finally took him in your mouth, two fingers and your thumb gripping the base where your lips couldn’t quite reach without a struggle. Even still, you choked a little as he reached the back of your mouth, and the tightening of your throat around his sensitive tip made him thrust his hips, forcing him deeper into your warm, wet mouth. A low whine left his lips as you felt him swell on your tongue, and he hastily moved his hand over his mouth, breathing heavily through his nose as he adjusted himself on the pillows to watch you.

You steadily bobbed your head up and down, moving your flattened tongue over the underside of his shaft as you did, maintaining a steady rhythm as you felt swells of your own arousal hit you with every moan and grunt that he tried to contain. His breaths became quick and shallow as you felt him tensing his body, his free hand now in a tight, shaking fist at his side. A deep groan of satisfaction left your lungs, and the resulting vibrations in your mouth made him whimper quietly, softly repeating, “That’s it, that’s it, don’t stop,” over and over into his palm.

His eyes clenched shut and his hand clamped over his mouth harder, a low groan reverberating in his chest as everything inside of him seemed to coil, every nerve growing taut as your spit dribbled over your hand and pooled around the base of his cock, small rivulets dripping down his aching balls. He tapped your arm frantically, as if you alert you to something, then grew still for a moment and held his breath. With a series of warm and erratic pants, his whole body shuddered and he reached a jarring, pulsing climax, his hips bucking into your mouth as he throbbed and flooded himself into you, hot ropes of his spend landing on your tongue and coating the inside of your mouth while he grunted your name again and again like some lewd mantra. You drank him down as he desperately sucked air into his lungs, letting the last pulsating waves of his orgasm move through his muscles. You slowly pulled yourself off him, sucking on the tip to coax every last drop from him, before giving it a final, gentle kiss and sitting up beside him.

Law’s eyes opened finally, and he blinked hard, glanced down at you to study your satisfied, shameless expression. He finally removed his quaking hand from his mouth, panting, “Shit, did—did you swallow?”

You nodded gleefully, sticking your tongue out at him, as if to prove it, wanting him to see the extent of your willingness to satisfy.

“Oh fuck, you’re such a good girl for me,” he said through shivering breaths, waving you towards him. “C’mere.”

You laid down and he quickly turned over and wrapped you in his sinewy arms, leaning in to kiss you, not seeming to care if he tasted the last drops of himself on your tongue. His hands pressed into your back as he drew you closer, digging into your soft flesh, and you wrapped your leg around his waist in return, pulling his hips against yours until you could feel the weight of his half-hard cock resting against inner thigh, wanting him as close to inside you as you could get him for the moment.

Your body seized mid-kiss as a sudden urgent rapping at the door cut through the thick, sex-tinged air in the room, a muffled “Captain?” coming from the other side.

“Dammit,” Law hissed as he pressed his forehead to yours.

“What should I do?” you mouthed at him, knowing the answer before he could say it.

“I’ll be right there,” he shouted in the direction of the door. He wrested himself away from you and out of bed, untangling from your limbs and the twisted bed-sheets, almost tripping over the pajama pants that were still pooled around his ankles. He stepped out of them, and despite the sheer panic flowing through you, it was all but impossible to not admire his frame, the muscled planes of his shoulders, the dip in his lower back that led down to the slight curves of his ass. He bent down and grabbed his jeans, quickly pulling them on, his breathing still labored as his still-shaking hands struggled with the fly.

He turned back towards you, and you watched as his wrist instinctively flexed, a small ball of blue light forming. You closed your eyes and braced yourself for impact, wondering if you’d get the wind knocked out of you again this time, or if you’d be spared with a softer landing; instead, you felt the mattress shift beside you, a clammy hand settling on your forearm. You turned to see Law kneeling beside the bed, and he reached up to stroke your cheek, worry settling in the lines on his forehead.

“Just wait here for me,” he said, barely audible. “Stay quiet, okay?”

“Sure,” you said with a nod, your words almost eclipsed by the persistent hum of the ship.

“One second,” he said towards the door as he maneuvered over boxes into his bathroom, and you watched as he rinsed his mouth with water and scrubbed his hands, trying to wash any trace of you from his skin. He returned to the door, wiping drops of water from his scruff, and slid out into the hallway, shooting you a quick glance before he shut it behind him.

The lantern above the bed swung a little more energetically as you laid there, inhaling the scent of him from his pillows, wrapping yourself in his sheets, letting yourself live in the delusion, if only for the moment, that this was your everyday—this was the room you returned to at night, the bed you shared as you drifted to sleep, the sheets that would crumple and wrinkle underneath you as you fucked the loneliness out of each other.

A short time passed as you let yourself indulge in fantasy, dreaming of an ordinary kind of love, and Law slid back into his room like an apparition, offering you a tight-lipped smile as he carefully closed the door behind him.

“Everything okay?” You sat up, still clinging to one of his pillows.

He nodded and collapsed into the chair at his desk, interlacing his fingers behind his head and leaning back. “Just something in the engine room, it’s fine.”

“Look, I-I know I shouldn’t be here,” you stammered, suddenly feeling like you didn’t belong in his space, knowing that despite your desires, this wasn’t meant to last, and it would only be a matter of time before he asked you to leave, so you may as well go of your own accord and try to hang onto the whispers of dignity you had left. “I’m so sorry for this, I’ll come by tomorrow and we can work out things with—with the surgery and all that.”

You stood, tugging up your sweats and pulling your shirt down, trying to make yourself look like you had been doing anything other than deep-throating your captain, knowing there was no way to hide your kiss-swollen lips or the smell of desire on you, but you could at least make your clothes appear respectable. As you started to shuffle past him, he whispered your name and a long arm extended out and hooked around your midsection, stopping you in place, and you gripped his firm shoulder to keep yourself from pitching backwards from the momentum.

“Captain—”

“Tell me you need me again,” he cooed as he placed his other hand on your hip and guided you in front of him, his knees bumping against your unsteady legs. “Say my name and tell me you need me.”

“Why?”

“Because,” he said in that low voice in that way you couldn’t resist, a glimmer of desire in his eyes, “I want to hear it.”

You straddled his lap, and he placed his hands firmly on your waist, gripping you and pulling you down against him so hard you gasped. Your arms found their way around his shoulders, and you carded your fingers through his thick black hair, gently massaging his scalp until his eyes fluttered and he could only gaze at you through the fall of his dark lashes.

“I need you, Law,” you murmured, your lips brushing against his ear as you spoke, before leaving a trail of soft kisses down his jaw.

“Good.” He shivered under your touch, his voice now a low and hungry growl. “I need you, too.”

“Then don’t make me leave.”

One hand slid up your spine to grip the back of your neck, holding you still, and he placed a careful kiss on your lips, smiling as he pulled away. “As if I could.”

#trafalgar law x reader #law x reader #law x y/n #trafalgar law smut #law x you #one piece smut #lo writes

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writing-for-life · 5 months

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WHAT DO YOU MEAN DREAM'S HAIR USED TO BE WHITE!! oh my god. i just saw your post about killala and i have now perished. thanks for breaking my heart.

but also hi!! i'm relatively new to the fandom and it's a great place to be. i haven't finished reading all the comics yet but i'm curious to know:

what do you think are the main differences between TV!Dream and Comics!Dream? i've heard so many people claiming that he is incapable of changing, for instance, and though the show does convey his overall rigidity pretty well, i'm not getting the vibe that he's immutable.

also!! it's clear that he feels a lot. which is always funny to me when the corinthian is like yo, try this and maybe you'll feel something for a change but like. he does!!! or i get the impression that he does. he probably feels too much if anything?? all of it simmering just beneath the surface, barely contained. how would you personally analyze his relationship with his own emotions?

i hope all of this is coherent enough for you to answer lmao, i saw your post about enjoying being asked sandman questions two seconds after i woke up and barged into your inbox. hope you have a lovely day!

Thanks so much for the ask, and welcome if you’re new(ish) to the fandom! 🤗

I’m sorry I broke your heart—much more heartbreak to come I fear if you haven’t read the comics yet, so I’ll try to keep this as spoiler-free as possible.

I am one of those people who believes the differences between comics!Dream and show!Dream are actually not as big as they are made out to be where it matters, and you will definitely find people who disagree. At the end of the day, we all read it through our own lens and will never be fully objective about it.

The main difference I see is that they filed off the rough edges of the comics a bit to make a new audience sympathise more. It’s very hard to do that with a character who is basically in full arsehole mode for most of the first 40 issues or so, and even then only slowly begins to come out of it (although we can obviously see glimmers of what lies below the surface at the beginning of the comics, too, but it’s far more subtle than in the show). I’ve worked in musical theatre for a over decade of my life and understand a bit about bringing the written word to stage/screen, and some things simply don’t translate well from book to stage/screen, and you have to change it. So my personal opinion is we get a more sympathetic Morpheus and certain changes so the audience can do exactly that—sympathise off the bat. You will lose an audience pretty quickly if they don’t care about the protagonist and the universe he moves in, and you can’t be as nuanced about it as you can be in a written work. We’re talking about streaming services thinking about profits here, even if people don’t want to hear it.

Also: The more you sympathise with a character, the deeper the emotional investment and the more you feel, even if it hurts.

Having said this, I don’t think Morpheus is incapable of change, and I never got where that idea comes from. His biggest flaw is that he believes he cannot change (and even he has moments when he admits he might have). In the introduction to Endless Nights, Neil Gaiman says that he was once asked to describe The Sandman in twenty-five words or less, and famously, it was this (you might have heard it):

“The Lord of Dreams learns that one must change or die, and makes his decision.”

And I think some people might have wrongly taken that for an either/or thing. I don’t want to say too much at this point because I don’t know how much you know (if you’d like spoilers or already know how it ends, let me know, I’ll happily expand on it). Only so much:

He is capable of change, also in the comics. Very obviously so. But just like he denies he has his own story (which also isn’t true), he denies he can change. Or at least he thinks he perhaps cannot change enough (it’s actually hard to write about this without giving everything away, help! 🙈).

As for his feelings: He does feel, but again, it is something he pushes down and will deny himself. Until it bursts to the surface and breaks through, and when that happens, it’s usually with, well, let’s say varying results, and that’s putting it mildly. Personally, I’d say he has problems relating to his feelings, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t feel. Quite the opposite in my view. He holds the collective unconscious—all unprocessed feelings and whatever else floats around in that collective mess, and it’s exactly what he says to the Corinthian in that famous scene: he needs to keep a lid on it and keep that lid firmly closed so all of it doesn’t consume him. But that also means denying himself the feelings that are linked to his own personhood (if you want to call it that). There’s Dream of the Endless, and then there’s Morpheus. And while they’re one and the same and inseparable, Morpheus is also the “point of view”. The character, the person, if you will. And deep down, he craves that personhood so badly. Out of all the Endless, he is the only one who basically collects names because they mean having something beyond his function, which is also mirrored in what he tells Death in “The Sound of her Wings”: he wants something more. He is the only one whose realm is populated with sentient beings (yes, I know Despair has rats, but I think you get my drift). He is desperately lonely and struggles with it. He seeks connection yet denies it to himself. That’s not someone who doesn’t feel.

I don’t know if this answers your questions at all—I was doing the wild “spoiler-free” dance 🤣 But please let me know if you want me to go a bit deeper, I love talking about this stuff.

You can also have a look at my metas if you haven’t already. The headers pretty much explain what they’re about and what spoiler-level to expect, but none of them are truly spoiler-free I guess:

Again, thanks so much for encroaching on my inbox, and feel free to follow up if anything was left unanswered.

@dreamaturgy ask answered

#the sandman #sandman #dream of the endless #morpheus #sandman meta #ask answered #send asks #sandman analysis #sandman character analysis #sandman comics #the sandman netflix

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miss-sweetea-pie · 1 year

Text

A zutara rant about Aunt Wu’s prediction.

As a proud Zutarian I personally love the idea about aunt Wu’s prediction that she gave Katara about marrying a powerful bender is actually hinting at Zuko being the guy.

But I did see some antics mention “Zuko isn’t a powerful bender and it’s mentioned a lot that he’s not that good, they didn’t even think he was a fire bender bah bah”

First off that’s very rude!

So let’s over, analyze the fortune teller episode. Looking back on that episode we noticed that Aunt Wu’s predictions are technically accurate, but not always as they seem. this gets confirmed by the end of the episode and how that one man smugly tells Sokka that the prediction, said the village wouldn’t be destroyed and it wasn’t. Or that one guy having a safe trip and almost getting attacked by a platypus Bear but the gang saves him, technically, he still had a safe trip.

So the whole prediction is “ I see great romance for you the man you’re going to marry, he is a very powerful bender.”

(technically that wasn’t actually the whole prediction, considering A.ang was eavesdropping and well Kat@ang is all about A.ang and his feelings but I digress)

So the first half I guess is more about your taste in romance. I don’t think or feel like the canon kat@ang is this great epic romantic personality. But hey i’m willing to admit it could just be my taste. However the show does give us an example of a really powerful romances between Oma and Shu. In story lore of a romance that is so great it has been remembered for centuries and has a city named after them and ironically it has the famous enemies to lovers trope. hmm Interesting.

What I can defend though is the part that mentions “the man you will marry is a very powerful bender” you see A.ang it is a very powerful bender and once he is a fully realized avatar, he will probably be considered the most powerful bender. but like I pointed out Aunt Wu’s predictions have a catch or they’re not always as you expect. And she said, A (not most) very powerful bender that could technically be anyone right? considering there are masters for all the different elements and being considered a master is still very impressive and seen as an accomplishment Even if you are not the avatar. So her future husband could be a possible Master. Adding the fact that most of the masters are old so this person could not even be fully realized yet, Insert Zuko.

So people mention that he isn’t that great of a bender or he’s not that powerful and yes, the show does mention that, but also who tells us that? Oh right. His dad the literal villain. The people that try to put him down tell him that he isn’t good enough. personally, I also think the show try to contradict that by showing us moments. for example in book one he did take down Zhao and showed him mercy. (when I watch the show, I think Zuko is actually holding back a lot of the time because he does have a consciences. his whole arc was kick started by him, having a conscience and being empathetic so I don’t think it’s crazy to imagine him holding back a little). so when Ozai calls Zuko weak it’s kind of similar to how he calls A.ang weak in the finale. But no one questions A.ang not being a powerful bender. Hmmm weird.

Also, the other reason why I think Zuko being the one in the prediction is just better for the story is because the idea that you can become a powerful bender just feels so satisfying to me. In the show people still need to find masters and grow their skills. we are shown that people get better at things over time if they apply themselves. I think that’s a really good lesson. A similar lesson is already applied with Katara I may add, so it’s pretty fitting in a way.

Also the fact that he learns the true meaning of fire bending adds a nice layer of depth. it isn’t just about the skill of fire bending It’s also about the mindset. It really goes to show how he really has become a better and powerful bender in the end.

#zutara #katara #anti kataang #zuko #zutarian #basically i smell cap whenever someone says omashu was not a parallel to zutara #the fortune teller episode was a zutara episode #Zuko is a powerful bender

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andrewwtca · 1 year

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the Aubrey problem (or how Omori's writing failed her)

Also available to read on Archive of our Own.

I really like video games. If the fanfiction, theory posts, and occasional essays weren’t enough, here’s me saying it—I really like video games! They’re a conversation between writing, art, music, and human interaction, between the player, the game, and the characters in them. Of course, not all games have all of that, some being only text-based, some being lifeless wastelands, but whatever they end up choosing to work with, they often do something amazing.

Sunny is one of my favorite protagonists in any realm of media—video game, movie, book—and he genuinely changed the way I view the world. Not just him, but the entire world built around him, Headspace and its charming inhabitants and the wondrous sights and music, the creative bosses that leave so much insight, the beautiful overworld that is Faraway and a nostalgic look into what we leave behind, and what we return to.

So that’s why I’m so disappointed I don’t like Aubrey.

This game blew my mind away when I first saw it—my first experience with the game wasn’t even my own playthrough, but sitting through a 20-hour longplay!—and I lost so many hours of sleep twisting and turning and trying to make peace with the grief it left me feeling. And after finishing, I realized that its flaws were plenty, but not enough to drag me out of my enjoyment. But Aubrey? Aubrey didn’t make me feel the way I knew she was supposed to.

That frustrated me, especially as I became a bigger and bigger fan of the game. I had no qualms about liking her archetype, the feminine bully with a tragic backstory, and yet I do with her.

As someone who craves literary analysis and in-depth looks into every media I consume, I just needed to know: what made me dislike Aubrey?

And after over two years of being a fan of the game, I’ve finally figured it out: it’s a good mixture of 1) lack of explanation, 2) rushed self-awareness, and 3) lackluster narrative choices. And I’ve found the words I needed to explain these concepts, so please join me on my messy journey to understanding what went wrong with Aubrey.

preface

If you’re an Aubrey apologist, this essay is not for you. I’ve heard plenty of arguments about why Aubrey was actually in the right, not limited to “Basil deserved it,” and, “Aubrey was hurting too,” so I’d like to begin by stating that Aubrey was a bully very clearly.

Rejecting the notion that she actively harmed others is rejecting a core component of understanding her character. Before we dive into her character and how the writing failed her character arc, I would like us all to be on the same page: she physically, verbally, and socially bullied Basil. It was not Basil’s fault, and it will never be a victim’s fault to get bullied. She is not the victim of her own crime, just like how Sunny is not the victim of Mari’s death, and Basil is not the victim of Mari’s hanging. We, as the player, are to recognize their responsibilities in their actions. The same must be extended to Aubrey.

Some people feel the need to deny this aspect of her character to justify her actions and/or justify liking her. Firstly, the purpose of this essay isn’t to villainize anyone for liking Aubrey. I’m simply analyzing what was attempted with her character and why it didn’t strike a chord with me and so many others. Secondly, as Kel wisely said, “Just because you did something bad, doesn't make you a bad person.” I’m not here to say that Aubrey is a bad person—no, nobody in Omori is ‘good’ or ‘bad’ and labeling characters as such is taking away the nuance they possess. And I’m certainly not saying liking a character who did something bad makes you bad, either!

Liking Aubrey is in no way a problem (which makes me a tad bit sad that I need to clarify), and I’ll even go as far as to say kudos to you, but if you bend and twist to stop her from holding any responsibility for her actions, that’s when problems arise. Basil is a fictional character and won’t care if you think it was his fault he was bullied, but for the people around you who may have been in similar positions to him?

And lastly, I want to say that if you cite sexism as the reason people don’t like Aubrey… actually, this is the perfect transition into the analysis.

gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss

Femme bullies are not a new phenomenon. Perhaps it’s the break from the stereotypical sweet feminine girl that makes them so fascinating, using their femininity to not sing to animals or wish for a man, but pull down others and advance their status.

I, for one, adore the femme bully trope. Especially if they’re one who used to be extremely kind and underwent some sort of ‘fall from grace’ that led to a bastardization. But, as for all bullies, if they are left without a proper backstory and motivation, I’m turned off from them. Most humans are not mean just because they can be but rather are products of how they were raised. When these causes are ignored, the trope falls flat, and instead of being a good reconstruction, it’s a flat stereotype.

The best way to analyze this is by comparing Aubrey’s character to good examples of femme bullies in the past. Specifically, I’m picking my favorites: Asuka from Neon Genesis Evangelion, Nanami from Revolutionary Girl Utena, and Sophie from The School for Good and Evil. I’m going to do a quick (and a bit sarcastic) overview of their characters in their respective media, but a quick warning for suicide in Asuka’s overview, and animal cruelty in Nanami’s.

Asuka is a pilot for one of the mechas, the Evangelion, and she always thought of herself as better than everyone. Well, of course, she would: she studied hard, worked harder than everyone around her, and she’s just naturally talented. And yet, she’s still always threatened by others and how they can ruin her status. Specifically, for the course of the show, she targets Shinji—he’s this nobody from nowhere who could suddenly pilot an Eva, while she had to fight her whole life to get here! How is that fair? And what has that asshole been through anyway? Did he have to see his mother’s corpse after she committed suicide as a small child? Did he fight for his mother’s love his entire life just for her to kill herself? Does he have to fight for male attention just so he isn’t thrown aside? No, of course not! So how is any of it fair?

Nanami is the sister to the wonderful student body president Touga, and she wants nothing more than his attention. And with her being the youngest of the cast, one cannot be mad at her for not understanding the severity of violence and finality of death, so her anger as a small child with a kitten whom Touga adored is also understandable. One simply cannot be mad at her for drowning it. So, of course, you cannot blame her for wanting to punish the ever-elusive Anthy and Utena, who Touga has become fixated on. What does Anthy or Utena have that Nanami doesn’t? They’re stupid girls, not Touga’s sister. No matter what, Nanami is going to win her brother’s affection (and in her pursuit, ignore how horribly he’s been manipulating her the entire time).

And Sophie is the Witch of Woods Beyond, capable of powerful spells beyond the imagination, from a place that few know of. And she wants nothing more than for her own fairy-tale ending—why do all the princesses around her get princes and castles and beautiful dresses, and she’s doomed to being hideous and alone for the rest of her life? Who decided that for her? She’s beautiful, after all, so she should be a princess! It doesn’t matter who stands in the way of her happily ever after; especially not if it’s Agatha, her lifelong best friend. No matter what, Sophie will not end up like her mother who died all alone, with her husband forgetting her and moving on. Sophie will be loved, no matter who she has to hurt.

What do they all have in common? Firstly, they’re all girls. As stated, femme bullies are different from masc bullies, especially as they reveal aspects of femininity and womanhood in general that many people—see, a male audience—will neglect to face, and overall uncover sexism that's still present in both media and society. Secondly, they’re all bullies, and they targeted someone in particular who they saw as detrimental to their happiness. And thirdly, they all had specific upbringings that conditioned them to have their ‘falls from grace’. What is this third, unidentified thing?

Mommy issues!

(Sorry, I know Nanami technically has a brother complex, but I just wanted to say mommy issues.)

A pattern has been developed with all of these girls. They all start fairly, what one can call, ‘feminine’ or at least, per standard stereotypes. They’re gentle and sweet and shine when needed. And they all have a ‘fall from grace’—a moment, or sequence of moments, that leads them to reject traditional femininity and embrace a more vengeful version of it. And a final moment, where they are faced with their opposite, who represents all that they do not have.

Asuka was sweet and kind and bubbly until her mother killed herself. After that, she dedicated herself to her studies and getting adult male attention through means of the over-sexualization of herself. And then, she began to bully Shinji.

Sophie was sweet and kind and bright until her mother died. After that, she idolized her mother’s false display of femininity and became obsessed with becoming a princess. And then, at the School for Evil, she began to bully Agatha.

Nanami was assumedly sweet—she deviates from this pattern slightly, being built off assumptions of a good past rather than showcases—until she was brought into this family and became obsessed with her brother and was manipulated by him. After that, she became desperate for his attention, fighting any other who could take it. And then, she began to bully Utena (and Anthy.)

While Nanami does deviate from this pattern, they all have clear origins. They were not bullies from the start. As aforementioned, in the face of an adversary, the majority of people do not turn to hurting one another. Something in their pasts, their ‘falls from grace’, was the foundation of their actions, what led them to believe what they were doing was okay. It’s not justification—it's a much-needed explanation. After all, if you do not understand, how can you empathize?

Still, you may fail to see my point. The game has lots of hints of Aubrey’s troubled upbringing. And that’s exactly what the problem is. These girls have clear origins while Aubrey’s is muddled.

Of course, I don’t expect Omori to have spoon-fed me details of her past. You can put the pieces together by walking through her home and seeing bottles laid on the ground. But, even in a game dependent on nuance and having the player put certain things together, it’s better to leave things out directly rather than to work a way around.

To build up a good femme bully, we need a good origin story. What happened to her that made her turn to violence? Why should we care? We know Aubrey probably had a troubled childhood. But the game doesn’t supply enough. It leaves too much to fill in the blanks. I know that Asuka saw her mother’s corpse, I know that Sophie was forced into a misogynistic viewpoint upon her mother’s death, and I know that Nanami was manipulated to hell and back. I know what these girls have been through so I know why they ended up walking their paths.

But the game simply doesn’t reveal enough about Aubrey. Fan speculation is not enough. Canon interpretation should not be confused with fan interpretation—according to the fans, Aubrey’s father is a deadbeat, and her mother is an abusive, neglectful alcoholic. According to the game? Aubrey’s dad is “strict”, and her house is an absolute disaster. The house is one of the biggest clues as to Aubrey’s childhood, and while some may praise this as ‘showing and not telling’, the game never tries to make workarounds for the other characters (which I will dig deeper into later). I can assume what happened in her house but it’s not my job to find ways to empathize with the character; that is the story’s job.

This is the first of Omori’s three sins and we haven’t even scratched the surface.

actions speak more than words, or something like that

I recently saw a post that I thought would make a good intro for this section. It’s an apologist post for Aubrey, discussing how the game did treat her with just enough harshness—that because she’s been beating herself up, because she’s suffered a public breakdown, because it took kindness to help her heal, it’s proof of her regret. There’s some good Basil blaming in there too, with a strange turn saying that she refused to leave Basil’s house because of her willingness to turn over a new leaf. And it ends with a weird claim that she was a “good person all along,” (implying an argument otherwise), but I’m not here to rat on that post.

Despite how frustrated the post made me, I am inclined to agree. It’s black-and-white to state that Aubrey didn’t change at all. If you compare her first Faraway appearance to her final scenes, she’s a completely different person. Which would've been nice if the change didn’t take two scenes.

Much like how I compared Aubrey’s backstory to that of other femme bullies, I’m going to compare Aubrey’s redemption to that of my favorite redemption story in all of media: Riku from Kingdom Hearts (the fact that I’m so in touch with his story may also explain some of my disappointment with Aubrey’s).

Riku starts off his journey on Destiny Islands. He’s always wondered what lies beyond his small home and dreamed of taking a sailboat with his best friends, Sora and Kairi. However, jealousy is an awful thing—Sora and Kairi are close. And it seems that Riku has been hearing about how they’re thinking of leaving him behind. So, he does what any teenager dealing with larger-than-life feelings does: he gives in to the magical Darkness and effectively kills everyone on the islands, separating him, Sora, and Kairi (don’t worry—everyone comes back.)

By the end of the game, he’s come to his senses, but it takes a lot of time. He fights with Sora a lot because he just knows, deep down, that he’s right and Sora is wrong, and if Sora would just listen…but no. Sora keeps abandoning him. So he has to work through that and all the feelings that accompany those abandonment issues, he has to work through the question of “What is even making me want to kill my best friend, anyway?”, and he has to work through “Wait…can I kill my best friend?” So, it takes a lot of time for him to get to his senses.

And then, he goes through hell. Literally and metaphorically. He dedicates himself wholly to making up for what he did. How? Well, he first identifies what he did wrong—he separated from his friends, he gave in to his jealousy, and he submerged his home in Darkness. He apologizes for it directly—although he doesn’t have a chance to speak with Sora right away, he's constantly apologizing for the fact that he gave in to the Darkness, so much that it became a running gag to some fans. He put up distance—he didn’t feel like he was owed forgiveness right away (or at all, but that’s a different matter) and didn’t stick at Sora’s side to wait for his best friend to forgive him. He worked hard to show that he’s changed—it would be a much longer essay if I attempted to explain the lengths he went through, but it’s not limited to allowing himself to be possessed, going to literal Hell, forcing himself into isolation, and enduring multiple handicapping injuries.

Long story short? He really, really tries to make it up to Sora. And when he and Sora finally talk (it took three years in real life, took perhaps a year in the game), Sora doesn’t even hesitate to forgive his friend…though it may be in part to Sora just being Sora. Nevertheless, Riku had earned that forgiveness.

And then, after that, Riku continues to give himself hell! He never stops to sweep what he did under the rug. It’s a part of him, after all, an ugly past but his past nonetheless. It does not define him but it cannot be forgotten, otherwise, he hasn't learned anything at all.

Deep breath. We talked a lot about Kingdom Hearts in an Omori essay. But it’s important to understand the sheer depth put into his redemption: identification, distance, and work.

What’s most frustrating about Aubrey’s arc is that fragments of this good writing exist, but that’s what they are: fragments. I would like it to be stated for the record that everything I explained for Riku’s arc wasn’t me creating speculation based on what the games said. It’s what the games literally came out and said. Aubrey however…

Identification—she apologizes to Sunny, Kel, and Hero by saying “I’m sorry, guys… I’ve been acting like such a jerk.” While I may give her grief for the usage of the word ‘jerk’ when perhaps a stronger, more evocative term would’ve done a better job, it’s certainly better than what she said in front of Basil’s door: "I just wanted to say that… I’m sorry for the way I’ve been treating you.” Completely separating herself from the issue at hand.

Distance—none. She's immediately reintroduced to her old friend group, at a rate that ended up giving me whiplash the first time around. The question, “What about the Hooligans?” is never brought up, and things are back to how they always were, with no problems at all.

Work—Aubrey stayed the night at Basil’s house, wanting to make sure he was safe. To which, if you end up getting the neutral ending, you get the most insightful message of Aubrey’s arc (which is technically non-canon): “I'm so sorry, Basil. Please forgive me…” If getting the good or bad ending, her staying the night meant literally nothing, as Sunny’s fight took the reins.

These are fragments of a character arc. These are fragments of good characterization. While I praise Omori for how often it appears realistic, this kind of exponential growth simply isn’t. In what world, does someone who’s been bullying someone for four years, take less than two days to realize she’s been a bully and decide to change the entire course of her life?

While I could rat on Aubrey, this isn’t her problem. This is the game misreading what makes a good redemption. Redemption means work. It means effort. It is not a character simply changing their ways. Those characters feel cheap and empty—there’s a reason, after all, why the majority of fans always characterize Aubrey as the mean girl she’s shown to be when she first appeared in fan works. It’s because the ‘new’ Aubrey, the Aubrey buried under layers of hurt, hasn’t earned the right to exist.

The Riku I love in Kingdom Hearts III has earned the right to be angsty and gay and happy and his new self because he’s put in 17 years' worth of effort to become that person. It’s beautiful, it’s inspiring, it’s hopeful—you can make a mistake and go past it. It doesn’t define you. You can be forgiven. You can have hurt and have been hurt and still be worthy of love and loving.

The Aubrey at the end of Omori has not earned the right to be there, simply put. She’s the product of lazy, or ignorant writing, and it feels harsh to type out, but there’s no other way to describe it. Her self-awareness happened too quickly. She passes by Sunny’s house every day, sees Kel playing basketball every day, and could freely visit Mari’s grave whenever she wants—there were four years for her to change who she was. If Kel wasn’t able to give up his toxic positivity until the bitter end of the neutral ending, it’s quite hard to believe that a few hours of just talking made her change her ways. Especially considering that the Hooligans were characterized as her new, accepting friends, who love her and hear her out.

And again, the best fragment of an arc that could’ve been appears in the neutral ending! While it was not directly Aubrey’s actions that led Basil to take his life, it’s very impactful to see her begin to blame herself. It’s not right for her to blame herself—but that’s perhaps the only scene in the entire game where I really sympathized with her. It’s the only scene in the entire game where I truly saw that she wanted to change.

A quick note I wanted to pull out before finishing: the inclusion of the Hooligans. They were, again, fragments of an amazing arc. While they could’ve been a good way to show how kind Aubrey still is, they are thrown aside and mainly included in scenes where Aubrey is still being a bully. It’s in content outside of the game (see: Aubrey birthday comic) that they contrast Aubrey’s harsh exterior and show her sweet insides. But no, they’re underdeveloped and unutilized to make Aubrey’s arc feel doable.

There seems to be a very clear culprit to both this and the femme bully problem, and a solution that should’ve been considered more deeply.

rome wasn’t built in a day

There’s a loud rumor in the Omori fandom that Omori was originally supposed to take place over ten days rather than three days. While I’m not sure how much merit this rumor has, the fact that it exists leads me to my ultimate point:

Omori should’ve been longer.

Specifically, Omori should’ve taken place over a longer period.

EDIT: Before we continue, I just had an excellent conversation with a friend ( /ᐠ ._. ᐟ\ﾉ ). This solution only applies to if one is unwilling to change Aubrey's core character; essentially, the extent of her bullying. By making her someone who goes out of her way to torment Basil, significant screen time is going to be needed to properly unpack all that's been given. Making the base game ten days is only my opinion of the best choice, but there are other ways to solve this. However, the best course of action would be to change the extent of Aubrey's bullying on Basil—in other words, changing how Aubrey's anger presents itself.

For example, she would simply hold a grudge over what she believed was Basil destroying the photos, being extremely passive aggressive towards him. It would make a reconciliation between her and Basil, much, much more doable as well, perhaps him seeking her out in the first place in a peaceful manner to look for the photos. The lake scene could be an emotional explosion for her, perhaps finding out Basil just gave the photo album to Sunny, who is literally about to leave, and then pushes him into the lake. Then, the reflection she has next would fit what has tonally been established, seeming doable. She had, after all, been on good terms with Basil, even if for a little while.

By ‘lackluster narrative choices’, I am referring literally to the belief that Omori should not have been a game that took place in three days. I’m not here to argue about the game's mechanics—should Headspace have been that long? What is the point of a world created to serve as escapism, which should be fleeting moments of happiness, when it ends up being longer than the real world?—as much as I’m here to argue that this is a flaw of the game’s writing as opposed to a game design standpoint.

I’m not going to pretend I know how to make a video game. I’m enthusiastic about them, I follow their development and creation, and I strive to learn as much as I can about the ones that are dear to me, but I’m not going to pretend I know the first thing about making a video game. Omori’s development is one of the most infamous parts of its legacy, and the notion of extending the game would’ve only been another strain on the extended period between its announcement and its final release.

But, I know how to tell a story. Or, at the very least, I know what makes a good story. Now, the three days format of the game serves its other protagonists amazingly.

Sunny, whose arc mainly develops through the interfering ideas established in the real world and the ones previously established in Headspace, doesn’t need an extended time in the real world. His story takes place in his dreams, and the foundations of Headspace are already extremely insecure, based on the idea of covering up the truth. But when faced with a separate truth in reality, despite only a brief exposure, the lies created to protect Headspace fall apart. So Sunny’s arc does not depend on how long he spent in the real world.

Kel and Hero, on the other hand, have a very small arc. They are not flat and are very much dynamic when you compare how they started and how they ended up. However, the majority of their arc had taken place off-screen. The majority of their characterization does not occur through direct interaction with Sunny—we don’t learn about Hero’s depression because of him having a breakdown, but rather Kel discussing it. And in that same scene, we learn about Kel’s toxic positivity and the strain it’s taking on him, rather than through the game. This recontextualization is perfect for Kel and Hero. The change that occurred after Mari’s death is not easily seen by Sunny, and through it being slowly revealed instead, we learn the nature of their changes. Nonetheless, their changes occurred after Mari’s death and another change will occur most likely after the revelation of the truth—either way, their character arcs do not depend on the length of the three days. No amount of time would’ve changed them without Sunny revealing the truth (and as aforementioned, Sunny’s time was well spent in Headspace).

And finally, Basil. He's in the same boat as Kel and Hero, having an arc that occurs entirely off-screen. The difference is, however, the amount of emphasis the game puts on what happened to him as opposed to a few cutscenes with the brothers (though it is understandable, given his role as the game’s deuteragonist). His arc is a downward spiral, from an already unstable boy to an insecure mess who becomes obsessed with the sole idea of keeping his best friend safe. While it’s a progression of who he used to be, it’s development nonetheless, and it also happens off-screen. Given Basil’s fragile mindset, furthermore, the appearance of Sunny suddenly was enough to throw him off, given he was already planning on taking his own life. His rapid spiral into an even worse mess which leads to the fight between him and Sunny, therefore, is understandable. And, similarly to Kel and Hero, his real change will only occur after Sunny reveals the truth. Basil’s character development does not at all depend on how long the game would be.

The simple fact is that the other characters do not go through a drastic change on the days that Sunny comes out, and Sunny’s change was fueled by the existence of Headspace, not by the real world. The game taking place in three days does not affect the others. That is good storytelling. Using the game’s time frame to properly convey their arcs having occurred off-screen.

Aubrey, however, is not subject to that same praise. Her arc occurs on screen—while she descended to becoming a bully after Mari’s death, the arc we the viewer are supposed to acknowledge is her redemption. And three days just isn’t enough time.

The last two problems I covered, a lack of detailed backstory and a general lack of redeeming actions, lie in the same problem: the game went past those scenes far too quickly, as though Aubrey’s redemption is not essential to understanding her. It’s as though the game is trying to place importance on relationships and the joys of rekindling, rather than having to actually rekindle a relationship, having to put in the work. If the game had been slightly longer, Aubrey’s story could’ve been dealt with in a far more effective manner.

I am not Omocat, nor am I a part of the development team. I do not have the ideal solution for what could’ve been. I do, however, have a few ideas that I’d like you, my audience, to consider. How much do you think the game would’ve changed if it was ten days instead of three?

As already explained, Sunny, Kel, Hero, and Basil would not have had any significant difference if the game took place longer. Perhaps, there would’ve been a more natural awkwardness present that accompanies talking to someone for the first time in four years, but aside from that, the events of the game would’ve just taken longer.

Aubrey, however, would’ve had some actual thinking time. Her fight in the church would be her turning point, and her then isolation would feel like she had time to think things over. For a few days, Aubrey would have to be absent, and given the impression she left on the players, this absence would be heavily felt. It would be her return so much more effective, especially if she returns as someone who is unsteady due to their actions.

For the next few days, leading up to Aubrey deciding to stay the night at Basil’s house, we have the chance to know and forgive her better—perhaps, similar to Kel talking to Sunny about Hero’s depression, Aubrey can explain what it was like growing up in her household. Not as a defense, but as an explanation. She would do things with the rest of the group, and she would at a more natural rate, be integrated once again. And not just anything! She would actively help them with whatever the ten days would have to offer, and it would show that she is hurting over her actions.

And, finally, when she would decide to stay at Basil’s house, it wouldn’t feel like the game was just trying to have the cast together for one last moment, but it would feel like she’s trying to bridge the gap of all the hurt she created. When she would go to Basil’s door, it wouldn’t feel like the game was just trying to convince us to forget about her actions, but it would feel like she’s reflected and attempted a new leaf. And hopefully, the game would offer a more heartfelt apology, given more context and material to work with.

Four years of bullying can’t go away in ten days. But that’s not what the game was trying to argue in the first place—it wasn’t fully erasing Aubrey’s action, but trying to create the stepping stone for a way back. But the three days poorly argued her case, with a rushed and lacking version of redemption, and it made her ‘final character’ feel poor.

At the very least, ten days would have allowed the audience to empathize and begin to understand her. And, more importantly, it would’ve made sense that she understood the weight of her actions. And the Aubrey she became, whoever that girl would be?

She would’ve been so, so loved.

a little love in our lives

This has been on my mind for an awful lot of time. Sunny, as aforementioned, is one of my favorite characters of all time (if not my favorite), but the entire cast has a spot in my heart and is very dear to me. That includes Aubrey, but she benefits from association, which hurts me—I hate when girls in media are defined by their relationships with other guys. I wanted to get to the heart of why I couldn’t get her to stand on her own.

To summarize: Aubrey’s character was criminally mismanaged. Instead of it being a hopeful story of redemption, someone finally breaking the cycle of abuse and breaking free of her toxic household, seeking forgiveness by taking an active part in Basil’s healing, she is let off too quickly and makes all her further scenes feel twice as empty. The ideal solution would have been to have the game take place over a larger period, rather than a rushed three days, to allow the audience to empathize and relate to her.

Aubrey apologists truly astound me. I find so many flaws in her writing, and yet other people manage to see those flaws as perfections. I see people making very absurd, ableist arguments, and it makes me question the humanity of many fans, but I’ve always been intrigued by how many different perspectives there are surrounding her. I’ve seen some who relate to her because they were bullies or because they’ve been abandoned by others; so some valid reasons, and others very concerning. But it’s telling how our own experiences make us relate to different characters and help us understand why someone stands in the places they do.

…do you see what I did there? I started talking about relating backgrounds and how that benefits our understanding and— yeah, I suppose you understand, if you got this far (almost 6k words, you should be proud of yourself). If you’re still unfazed and believe that Aubrey’s writing was splendid, all the power to your fannish behaviors. But if I’ve opened your eyes a bit as to the flaws in her writing or if I’ve been able to explain your dislike of her, then I’m glad. It’s important to discuss things that didn’t stick the way they were meant to so that we can do better and we can learn.

Omori’s writing failed Aubrey. Some fans took that as a challenge. I’ve said before that canon interpretation should be separate from fanon interpretation, but I’d have to be heartless (Kingdom Hearts pun intended) to say that many fan’s interpretations didn’t get me to feel with her. I think Aubrey could’ve been brilliant, and while Omori didn’t fully capture that, a lot of fans did. So to everyone who makes art, whether it’s a drawing, a written work, a video, a song, an edit, or whatever, thank you for sharing it. Thank you for telling your stories.

I feel like writing these analysis pieces without connecting them to our own life experiences is pointless. So, to everyone else, please tell your stories. Tell your stories of redemption and love and forgiveness, because that’s what Aubrey’s story was meant to be about, and that’s what we all need in this world. Tell your stories, no matter what they are, because that is what ties us all together. We are made of stories and we return to them. We learn from them and we become better people. We become kinder—and we could all use a little more kindness in the world.

Thanks for reading!

#omori #omori meta #omori analysis #aubrey omori #media analysis #meta essay #literary analysis is my special interest #andrew's essays

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i-am-probably-alive · 1 year

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Hellenite

Is there ever that one writer that you keep on going back to, over and over, even if you have read and analyzed every single one of their works? And it still gets better each time? There is for me. Fucking Helleniteeeee. I left the DSMP fandom like almost a year ago, yet I still go and have Hellenite binge reads on the regular.

Ad astra was my gateway drug, De Terra is still my favorite fic of all time like ever, possibly even better than most published books I’ve read, anything from LiTWS brings me immense comfort, and Fading Lights….that one stuck with me really really REALLY hard. So did all the other ones, but yknow. That’s a bittersweet ending done right, man. I absolutely adore everything in Hellens style of writing. From the beautiful, captivating description to the absolutely remarkable use of italics, each and every fic has left me crying and begging for more. But there’s three parts that Hellen just does so well, that it honestly shocks me that the whole first page of DSMP isn’t stuffed, head to toe, with Hellenite’s work.

1: Theme

Tackling this first, cause i have a LOT to say about this. Cause, HOLY SHIT!!! Theme! I absolutely just HDRTHHFGGJGJHAZJ. I’m not saying other writers haven’t pulled off themes in fanfic well before, cause they have! But the way Hellenite does it just hits different. Everything has a moral, in one way or another. And the moral is something genuine. Something real, something that happens in real life and that is represented perfectly in all her works. Like, okay. Event Horizon: You can change, you can improve. You are not your past, you are not your family, you are not your mistakes. As long as you’re trying, You’re on the right path. Things don’t get better immediately, they take time. A long, long time, but you are allowed to be happy along the way. Healing is a process, not a teleportation device. LiTWS: A relationship, be it romantic, platonic or familial, can be complicated. They can be difficult to maintain, but you love the other person, so you will work at it to solve your issues. It’s okay to fight, as long as you can acknowledge when you screw up. Communicate. Fading Lights: Life is difficult, but that doesn’t mean you should try and escape it. Find the right people who care about you, even if at the moment you feel or are complete shit. You can recover.

everything just leaves a special impact, because those messages come through. And they come through strong, without being all “LOOK AT ME IM HERE”. It’s just. Wow.

2: Character Development

Change is a very prominent feature in Hellens stories, and it never feels clunky or out of place. You genuinely feel it, but you can’t pinpoint the exact moment things change. Like how in the beginning of Ad Astra, we feel genuine dislike, and very quickly, hatred for Ran. But over time, that changes, and we see how Ran develops and improves. There’s setbacks, there’s relapses, but the change is there. In LiTWS, the relationship goes from somewhat forced, to fully, truly, genuine. Struggles and all. In FL, Tubbo….well. In the beginning, he was an addict who had a gruffish attitude, who was pushing away from society and his friends. He feared that he was turning into his father. He had awful self esteem. By the end, he was willing to change. He was willing to give up smoking and drinking and willing to put himself in an environment that involved Tommy. Change, change, change.

I think it’s all really well done. Cause people change, it’s natural. And it’s done so well here.

3: Love

The way Hellen writes love makes me wish I was in it. But not because it’s written as an all happy and sunshine solution to all wrong. It’s not. It’s written as a strong, complicated emotion. It isn’t written as a one-size fits all. It’s written as something rooted in our hearts that WE get to define, and WE get to use. We love, and it is not a weakness. Love is not a superpower. We all are capable of it, and it doesn’t have to be romantic. Love is…love. It’s so, so SO strong, and I think that this one element is what’s made me cry so much while reading Fading Lights or De Terra or whatever it is. Love. Such a strong meaning for such a small word. I go to Hellens stories and take notes on the way it’s written because it’s just. I hate stories that focus on love, generally. Mostly because they’re written as if it has to be this huge, romantic beats-all card, where the only thing that defines it is the word itself. The characters have to say it for us to know it, and even after that, we don’t believe it. Hellen writes it as it is, which is a difficult feat. These fics are just…wow.

All in all, the way Hellen writes, not only in short term by description and beautiful scenery, but in long term too, leaves such a strong impact. Hellen is definitely, without a doubt, the writer who has most inspired, motivated and influenced the way I write and even the way I think. Hellen has left such a positive mark on me that I’m confident I would be entirely different without having read that one gateway fic. I forgot to mention this, but I read Ad Astra while in a reading slump, and when I say it pulled me out…

also, the concepts in and of themselves are so creative and good and original?? Like how?? And the WORLDBUILDING DONT GET ME STARTED ON THE WORLDBUILDING. HOW??? How does one just make a world so convincing and make it feel so real?? And explore upon it without making it feel like pointless exposition???

TLDR; A year ago, these fics broke into my house, put me in a chokehold, and demanded it be allowed to live there rent free. It still has me in a chokehold, and I give it muffins sometimes.

Theres so much More i can say, and I will probably say it in different posts later. but for now..

I love Hellenites stories more than I love Interstellar, and that’s saying something cause I was a mess by the halfway point of that movie.

Thank you, Hellenite, for each and every one of your stories.

I can’t wait for WGBITN.

(P.S: I realize I sound like an insane fangirl, but whatever. I most likely am one.)

#Hellenite #Ad Astra #De Terra #Fading Lights #Lost in the woods somewhere #Fanfic #Fanfiction #Writing

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sincerlycas · 1 year

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Um yes girl give us the ☕️🫖!!!!

ALRRR YALL KNOW I GOT YALL!!😭😭 so first things first right, me and him have been going painting for a while right so around this time we were taking a break and I was sitting on his lap per usual. this time my phone was connected to the speaker since my playlist is the spitting image of his and I had it near the window so my phone can get service so I couldn’t use it yada yada yada. so as I was saying I was sitting on his lap and I asked if I can play games on his phone and he pulls up subway surfers right and I’m said I’m goated at it and I can beat his high score, so I start playing it and the nigga is a goofball so I could see from the side of my while I’m tryna focus that this man got his mouth wide open leaning slowly to get a chimp on my mf chest (😭) and he stops mid way and is like “I thought you were gonna hit me I’m surprised” and I’m like “bitch I was you were a lean closer to getting elbowed” right and he’s like “you can’t be that focused” and I said “nigga please you can’t distract me when I’m focused.” and he’s like oh really??? so he pull up my shirt a little pulls my bra down and starts sucking the fuck out of my nipple tryna distract me from getting a high score and did he succeed?!?!? bitch you know damn well y’all girl didn’t get distracted!… I lied the highest score I got was 4000… ANYWAYSSSSS yeah so fast forward we take another break and we laying on the lounge with plushies and blankets where you can lay down and relax right and when I tell you this man needs skin to skin contact- he needs it. so we cuddling and he damn near got his whole face in my damn neck and we talking and laughing and shit then he takes a lick at my neck and I’m like “you fucking lizard” and we start laughing and starts doing random tongue motions and kept asking me what animal is that then the last one I said “you. you’re the animal” and we laugh yet AGAINN (laugh yall way into some dick/coochie it works like a charm) and he ask if darkskin can get hickeys I’m like “nigga-“ he told me don’t answer that he forgot for a second then i don’t remember how but he starts sucking on my neck again and choking me blah blah blah (🫦) and he goes up to kiss me we kissinnnn and when I told you the nigga slipped his hands in my pants and abused thy clit, he abused it. I was on the verge of screaming 😭. then I sucked his dick and he doing what he doin to meee😁 and suddenly it turns into a competition so while I’m sucking the dick I suck his balls I DONT EVEN GET TO DO ONE SINGULAR SUCK this nigga jump up and say “nahh I’m sensitive there” pussy I know. so I go back to sucking the dick and I end up sucking it so nicely that I caught the nigga staring at me so I being goofy as hell winked at him and that got his ass fucked him goin like “damnn show out then” bitch I will. LEMME STOPPPP anywaysss he goes to eat me out and AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH MF AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! it was so gooddddd after first when he did it I thought it was his fingers doin that till he moved my hands I was like THATS HIS FUCKING TONGUE?!?!? bih I was grabbing on my own neck for dear lifeee. then yk he try to put it in it hurts yada yada he goes get a condom he goes SLOW then it goes INNNN I’m like lord have mercy then he’s like “i know I know” AHHHHHH so he notices that the nigga I told y’all didn’t pop my cherry for real so he goes DEEEEEP and that’s when I turn into a freak I’m choking this nigga and I’m grabbing this nigga ass forcing him to go harder and shitt. ANYWAYSSSS we finish and a bitch feel like she boutta be knocked outtt and if I haven’t explained before my man isn’t a scammer trapper rapper he’s a scholar so he don’t speak in slang he speaks proper and shit and he analyzes tf outta people. so like we chillin and this nigga talking bout I’m a dominate submissive girl who likes it hard asffff and he like thattt then said a whole bunch of things I’m like…. what am I a book?!?!?!?! but yeahhh yalll that’s all I can remember rnnnn my memory is ass btw.

it’s crazy to because for a while I thought I was gone be a virgin forever or sex wasn’t for me and I was wrong SO FUCK WITH A EDUCATED AND CLEANNN EX HOE OF A MANNNN.

xoxo your favorite hoe 💋 (imma start using that now)

#black writers #black tumblr #sincerlycasinbox #i’m rambling #ramblings #my mannn #my life #but yeah that’s my life #not a virgin anymore #pound town #viewer discretion is advised #ily moots #y’all my people fr #sincerlycastalks #sincerecasinbox

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cosmic-occurrences · 2 years

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A Race to The End

You had finally finished your homework and looked over to the bed to see Cedric smiling while reading a book. You had never even heard of the title but you knew that feeling well and couldn't help but smile too.

He caught you looking at him and lowered the book for a moment to direct his smile at you.

"That must be a good book." You say at his stupidly cute smile.

"It is, you should read it." He says, excitement from the story wearing off but his smile staying in place.

"Maybe I'll even catch up to you." You half joke, trying to see how far he's already gotten.

"I’m not sure you could. I'm already a good few chapters in and catching up isn’t an accomplishment if I wait for you." He says.

"I accept the challenge." You say, leaving for the library.

You march down the hall with great purpose for all of a few seconds before you turn around.

"...What's the name of the book?"

Cedric laughs and decides to come with you to make sure you get the right book.

When you both enter the library, he leads you over to the romance section.

"Ooo, it's a romance?" You ask, since you really hadn't thought about what the book would be about, only that your best friend liked it.

He chuckles and continues to look for a book that matches the one he was reading earlier.

"So, what happens if you somehow beat me to the end of this book?" He asks, searching the shelves.

"If I beat you to the end of your cheesy romance novel..." You pause to think, "You have to read one of my favourite books." You declare. "And what if I hypothetically can’t beat you?"

"If you can't finish the book before I do..." He pauses the same as you had, "You have to reenact my favourite scene with me."

The way he analyzes your face after this suggestion confirms he probably means a cheesy and/or romantic part of the book.

"Like putting on a play?" You ask, though you’re confident you won’t lose anyway.

"Not exactly, just putting ourselves in place of the characters."

"Alright… you're on!" You say, taking the book that he had since gotten off a high shelf.

Ever since making the bet, you had been buried in the book every spare moment you had. While eating, when you finish work early in class and from as soon as you finish studying to when you go to sleep. You even read on the walks between every class.

The only breaks outside of doing school work are the small moments when you catch Cedric looking at you instead of reading his book. He looks at you dreamily as if he were thinking of something, though not distant enough for him not to notice you.

"Ced, if you aren't taking this seriously, you're going to lose!" You say playfully, over the side of your book. He snaps out of his trance, or whatever that was, but doesn’t yet continue reading.

"How far have you gotten?" He asks, trying to look over your shoulder at a weird angle.

"Why? Trying to call off the bet?" You ask, but show him your placement anyway. In the few days you've had it, you already have caught up to his chapter deep into the book.

"Would you like to claim your prize now, or read the second half of the book first?" He asks.

"Do you already know your favourite scene? Maybe I’ll want to lose..."

"I do have something in mind. If you want, we could add it to your reward instead." He offers, in case you need more encouragement to continue the book.

"I do like a nice surprise... okay! But then what's your prize for winning?" You ask.

"Nothing? I mean, it's fair since I had the upper hand in the beginning."

"I guess it doesn't really matter, since I'll be beating you anyway." You say confidently and turn back to your reading.

The two of you read together in Cedric's prefect dorm every moment you have available, occasionally checking in on one another, but ultimately reading in content and competitive silence.

One evening, while you near the end of the novel, you both stay together longer than expected, lost in the story. You somehow don't even catch yourself falling asleep until you are too tired to keep your eyes open and on the pages.

When Cedric realizes you have fallen asleep, he puts your bookmark back in place, sets it on his bedside table, and makes sure you are comfortably under the covers.

The next morning, you wake up sleeping on his chest. You quickly move off and away from him, but still close enough to admire his peacefully sleeping face. You decide to cuddle up to him again, and wait for him to wake up.

As he starts to stir under you, you pretend you are still asleep. He smiles down at you, moves a piece of hair out of your face and whispers something you can't quite hear. After a few more seconds of trying to see him without him knowing you are awake, you make a show of waking up.

"How did you sleep?" He asks, not mentioning the position the both of you are in.

"...I'm almost finished with the book, just a few more pages..." You say tiredly, reaching for the bedside table on Cedric’s side.

He hands it to you, smiling as you try to read as fast as you can.

A couple minutes go by before you close the book dramatically.

"I win!! I'll get you the book you'll be reading next after you finish yours." You say.

"As for your other prize..." Cedric says, bringing you closer. You look into his eyes when, before you can even ask any questions, his lips meet yours.

When you have to pull back for a breath, you smile.

"If you wanted to kiss me, you could have just asked, Ced"

#I actually wrote this a few days before posting #the title keeps reminding me of flora cash - you're sombody else #and I keep singing it when I see this in my drafts #cedric diggory x reader #cedric x reader #cedric x y/n #cedric diggory #harry potter #harry potter fandom #hp fanfic #hp fandom #hufflepuff #fluff #one shot

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readingsbylibramc · 1 year

Text

birth chart reading for @paranoidfanfictionreader

hello! welcome to your reading. I’m gonna give you a quick overview of what I’m going to analyze about your natal chart. feel free to ask me anything if something isn’t clear, of course. you’ll find out your dominants’ influence on your persona, your physical appearance, impression on others and the way you approach the world; your ego, identity, the real you; your reactions, your desires, inner emotions; your way of expressing your feelings, your mind and ideas; your desires and approach to love; your energy tank, instincts and temperament; in-depth analysis of each house with their rulers and analysis of heavy aspects; love life + soulmates/karmic partners interpretation; your relationship with your friends; your family life; your approach to career and work in general + possible jobs suggestion; your style, fashion sense analysis; life purpose and past life description; basic transits’ analysis to describe your current mood and, last but not least, your secret skills, how to make the most out of your soul and manifest what you desire based on your birth chart.

🦋 chart shape, dominants

your chart is a bucket shape, with the moon as the handle of the bucket. your saturn is in the 12th house, hence matters regarding spirituality and mental health will be your priorities in this lifetime. you also have clear ideas about your future and who you want to be. even though you may have different passions and talents, you’re capable of only sticking to one and mastering it, giving your all.

your dominant planets are venus, pluto and uranus. you are probably quite creative, or at least you have a passion for creative outlets; you may like music, reading, cooking, etc. you may be a trendsetter among your peers, or you may even become pretty well-known in your field. you may have to go through many overwhelming, life-changing experiences throughout your life. you definitely don't have an easy past, you might have struggled or may be struggling with your own inner demons or even external people that may try to harm you. but you're also a person who grows more and more mature as time goes by. you're becoming more confident and self-aware, even though the many transformations you have to undergo could be painful.

your dominant sign is taurus. you're a chill person, you prefer staying at home instead of going out and partying. you are quite stubborn, but that's because you're passionate about your ideas and beliefs. you prefer trying and take action, even if you risk to hurt yourself, instead of just standing still and observing. you find comfort helping others; it's a way to feel satisfied both with others and yourself, as you like proving your skills and talents.

your dominant element is earth. you're a loyal and stable individual. you value longevity in your relationships, and that makes you quite picky. you can easily appear as cold, as opening up to someone you don't know well is too much of a risk for you. once you do, though, you'll stay forever. money and material possessions are important for you, as you understand that financial stability is one of the main qualifications in life.

🌎 ascendant in taurus, 24° / 3rd decan ruled by venus and saturn

taurus is ruled by venus, the planet of beauty. therefore, you’re probably very attractive, even if not conventionally. taurus risings usually come off as introverted and shy, you’re probably not much talkative. you’re a homebody, you prefer staying at home reading a good book instead of going out and partying, even though you don’t despise hanging out with your friends either. basically, you’d rather watch a movie with them than going to the disco, for example. you’re a very patient and cautious person; because of that, you may considered slow, and it may be true, especially in your movements. yet, you just like thinking deeply about a decision, even if it’s just about what to eat for dinner. you don’t want to have regrets. you may also be quite materialistic, and hence you’re extremely careful to how you spend your money. you don’t want to be a burden to someone else, in fact you most likely used to feel guilty to ask your parents for money when you were younger. you’d rather be independent. usually, taurus placements are quite egotistic, but I don’t think it’s exactly your case. you’re careful to who’re you generous with, but you’re not selfish. you don’t fancy flaky, insignificant relationships. you prefer having long-lasting and intense bonds, you don’t have time to waste. you’re particularly loyal, but you could become too possessive and possibly controlling of your partners or friends. you’re probably not very flexible in life, since taurus is a fixed sign; you’re particularly fond of routine and you don’t like changing it out too often. it’s hard for you to adapt to changes, so you’d rather avoid them at all. taurus risings tend to have a very youthful vibe to them, and they’re usually more on the shorter side, or at least average. I’ve also noticed that they tend to have naturally straight and silky hair. even if you don't take much care of it, it’s still thick and good-looking. your eyes may be small or at least of average size, and they’re usually hooded, almond-shaped with naturally long lashes. your nose could be a button shape or a french nose but, even if it’s not, it still goes very well with your overall face. your lips are most likely full, even if not necessarily plump. you may also have a defined, distinctive cupid’s bow. last but not least, you may be of average height or tall, with long arms and legs.

taurus ascendant square aquarius sun: this placement indicates that, when you’re in public, you tend to act in a different way from who you truly are. perhaps you tend to act sociable and welcoming to hide your competitive and determined aquarius sun, even if unconsciously. this can obviously interfere in your relationships and bonds with others; some may expect you to be different, so you may often lose friends because you turned out to be different from what they were expecting. in fact, you may often attract people that try to take advantage of you. I wouldn’t worry too much, though, as I find this placement beneficial in your case, exactly because of this reason. but just in case it bothers you, now that you’re aware of this tendency of yours you can try to understand your real self more thanks to this reading, and start acting like who you truly are to get out of your shell.

taurus ascendant conjunct taurus moon: this placement makes you look softer than the typical taurus rising. in fact, you're kind of a cancer rising for some traits: you can read people's mood very well, it's easy for you to understand whether someone is sad, angry, happy... because of that, you always try to make people feel at ease, you're always kind with people, and that makes you extremely likeable. also, since the moon rules over feelings and the inner you, you're probably a very genuine person. it's hard for you to hide your real emotions, and even if you wanted to hide them you wouldn't be capable, you're not fake. you could also have frequent mood swings. you have a strong sense of family and comfort to you, and hence it's extremely essential for you feel at ease to truly be yourself. you may also resemble your mother more than your father.

taurus ascendant opposite scorpio mars: you easily come off as more assertive and arrogant than you actually are. this manifests both in your face and in your words. you could say things impulsively, and sometimes you're too blunt and hurt people's feelings. you don't do it on purpose, though, there's no malice behind your acts; it's just your natural way to express your opinions. on the other hand, you probably have a very strong charisma to you that makes you look very captivating and bold. people see you as a leader, and hence they could get intimidated by your presence. to cope with this placement, you can try controlling yourself and your words before speaking. I'm aware that it's a way to vent your anger, but you can find another way that doesn't hurt others.

taurus ascendant opposite scorpio saturn: you may be shy and have self-esteem issues, especially during your early years. because of that, you may often appear as insecure to others, or even unreliable. you have a strong desire to be with someone and commit to them, you despise supertificial bonds, but at the same time you may find yourself being too shy to approach others, especially during your early years. you may not be the most confident person on earth, but as time goes by your grow more and more confident. this may apply more to the younger you, actually. you don't feel much comfortable around other people, and others can sense that; your insecurity is exposed to the world, and some may take advantage of that to hurt your feelings. you're afraid of being judged, whether it's for your appearance, or maybe because of your ideals or interests. hence, you end up becoming reserved. this is something that will be solved through growth and time; the older you get, the easier you'll be on yourself. also, thanks to this aspect, you're a responsible person with defined values. to cope with this placement, I'd suggest you to do what makes you feel the best. there are different ways to boost your self-esteem, so maybe you can work on that and then start expressing yourself freely; if you do it without the fear of being judged, you will shine even more.

🌞 sun in aquarius, 20° / 3rd decan ruled by uranus and venus

this is the most sociable aquarius decan. even though you may face some insecurities, you’re typically a strong-minded person. you strive for independence, as you focus your existence on your witty intellect. you have the ability to achieve great things, as your mind is literally revolutionary, even though you may struggle to make those projects concrete. a downside to this placement is that you may not give enough importance to your words; you’re brutally honest, and you may often hurt someone with your thoughts. even though you may appreciate it, as you don’t like it when people aren’t straight-forward, you probably don’t realize the effect your words can have on others. you’re also quite stubborn, and you take particular pride about your ideals. you may feel offended when people disagree with you. or maybe, you don’t even say your opinions, because you could be aware of the weight of your words and you don’t want to hurt others, or you’re afraid of being judged. people may define you as cold, but you’re really not. you just struggle to look sweet like other signs, and your heavy earth and scoprio energy combo doesn’t help either. you’re more detached, but that doesn’t mean that you don’t have emotions.

aquarius sun square taurus moon: with this aspect, what you need and what you want tend to clash. in your case, your aquarius sun wants to be in the spotlight, you want to be sociable and have fun. you want to go out often and live life to the fullest, while your taurus moon is more private, it prefers being alone. as a result, you may come off as unpredictable and / or indecisive. you could struggle with being optimistic, as you have this inner turmoil in you that makes you struggle to attract positive situations in your life. you may often feel conflicted, as if you didn't have control over your emotions. you may have unstable self-esteem, one day you could be feeling extra confident and happy with yourself and then the next day you feel very insecure, you want to change everything about your persona. you could feel unwanted, or perhaps you actually used to feel unwanted during your childhood, perhaps by your parents, relatives or even by other children at school. you're basically a walking paradox, you want both intimacy and independence, stability and flexibility.

aquarius sun square scorpio mars: you’re extremely passionate about the things you love, you strive to be perfect at them, and your perfectionist aquarius nature confirms this. this could make you quite competitive, as your aquarius sun wants to succeed and be always right. I feel like you don’t really enjoy being in the spotlight; you’d rather avoid conflicts, or at least not be the center of them. yet, sometimes it’s hard for you not be aggressive. I don’t think it happens often, but you can be very blunt and rude if someone truly gets on your nerves. this, paired up with your uranus dominance, makes you sort of dramatic. as long as you don’t react like this too often, I don’t think it’s a big issue though.

aquarius sun square scorpio saturn: during the first years of your life, you were most likely very insecure. probably, your father or any kind of authoritative figure influenced your growth, making you self-conscious about your looks and abilities. they might've been really strict, or at least critical or overprotective of you. you feel the need to be perfect, or at least to meet others' expectations. you may also care too much about what others think about you. you may be a late bloomer, and you could face some hardships in your relationships, but this gets better with time. this probably manifests in your approach to friendships and relationships, making you quite awkward. don't worry, though; as you become more aware of yourself and your potential, saturn's lessons won't seem so harsh anymore.

🌙 moon in taurus, 21° / 3rd decan ruled by venus and saturn

the moon is exalted in taurus, so it's definitely a good placement! you're very peaceful, you try to avoid conflicts when you can. this placement makes you crave stability, whether it's financial, in love etc. you must be very stubborn, as taurus is a fixed sign. this placement, paired with your imaginative aquarius energy, makes you settle on making your ideas concrete, and it's very beneficial. it makes you capable of achieving any goals in your life. you're also very artsy, and you may fancy particular art styles. you have a good eye for aesthetics, and you care a lot about the looks of your house, body, clothes etc. you have excellent concentration, and that is another thing that helps you achieve your goals and make your ideas concrete. last but not least, you're amazingly patient, and that makes you a great friend. probably, they vent a lot of their worries to you, as you're also a great listener.

taurus moon opposite scorpio mars: your feelings are very intense. you may tend to react aggressively, or at least overreact. you feel the constant need to express your emotions, but you also want to be understood by others. you tend to be aggressive because you're actually afraid that others may be the first ones to hurt you. you don't really do it with malice, it's your way to defend yourself from eventual enemies. this placement also indicates that your childhood / family life was or will be quite turbulent. to cope with this placement, I'd suggest you to be a little bit more mechanic when you express your feelings. you don't have to hide them, just try not to vent all your anger around.

taurus moon opposite scorpio saturn: you most probably felt misunderstood during your childhood, as if everyone were cold with you. maybe your mother (or anyone in your family/childhood) was emotionally absent or even aggressive, hence you didn't grow up in a completely healthy environment. this issue causes you to question your worth; you may have low self-esteem, especially during your early years. your family may have big expectations of you, and hence you feel the need to meet them, making you even more pressured to be perfect. overall, your personality may resemble that of your parents a lot, even though it may feel challenging for you. you're constantly strict with yourself, challenging yourself to improve. especially with your moon being in taurus, you always want to be at your best state, physically but also emotionally. you just want to radiate good vibes, even though you may feel limitated to share all of your true self due to saturn making harsh aspects.

🗣️ mercury in aquarius, 1° / 1st decan ruled by uranus

mercury is exalted in the sign of aquarius, so this is definitely a beneficial placement! you have a very distinctive way of thinking and speaking. you don't like being like others, you don't follow trends. you're probably the trendsetter, and you may find confidence and pride in your ideas and opinions. some may even define you weird, but you have very strong beliefs that could actually be helpful for the world. you're quite 'ahead' of others from this point of view, you're able to find beauty in things without being influenced by others. for example, you may follow a fashion trend before it gets viral. you are able to come up with very innovative ways of solving problems, you're extremely creative. you may even be the type to invent your own words, or perhaps you love learning and reading new words, you have a wide vocabulary. you're also probably interested in science and any darker or logical topic, you want to use your words and theories to change something in the world. you want to leave an impact, maybe even help others through your mind. you have a very witty sense of humor, you most likely speak fluent sarcasm and you're also very astute. I would say that the only problem with this placement is that you may come off as a know-it-all. you're proud of your intellect, you can't help but show it off, but obviously others may be jealous of you or feel attacked. for your voice, I assume you have a very particular tone, maybe even a nasal voice.

aquarius mercury square scorpio pluto: you may become a bit manipulative. you probably don’t even realize it, though, as you have the ability to make people do what you want them to do. you probably love being right, especially during arguments, and you always manage to be so thanks to your skills. your words are like knives for others, they can truly cut deep through their ego. you’re direct and blunt, as you just say what you have in mind with no filters. you can develop a provocative attitude without even realizing it, which can obviously cause you conflicts. you need to be more careful about how you communicate your ideas, otherwise you could seriously damage other people’s self-esteem. on the other hand, if you acknowledge your flaws and work on them, this can actually turn into diplomacy. take advantage of your interest in your inner self to find out how to be a bit more gentle in choosing your words.

❤️ venus in capricorn, 18° / 2nd decan ruled by saturn and venus

you seem like the type of person who's not totally into the idea of love and relationships, especially in your early years. you find your individuality way more important, and you feel the need to establish your status in the world. yet, there's still a place in your heart that desires love, but it's quite hidden. maybe, you're actually afraid of falling in love; or perhaps, it's the opposite: you jump into relationships, even if they aren't actually your priority. it may be hard for you to fall for someone, but once you do, you're totally invested in them. you're quite of a traditionalist when it comes to love; you may the type that prefers being courted, rather than court yourself. you're also quite into clichés, and you're looking for a polite and ambitious partner. someone who has a stable job, and is also wealthy. basically, someone that looks (and possibly is) rich and noble. you may also have the tendency to date people that are older than you, and possibly also soulmates from your past lives. in fact, you attract many karmic partners that are here to teach you lessons. your relationships may be quite painful, or at least they're so intense that they are hard to forget. with this placement, it's also recommended to get married after your saturn return, hence after your 28-29 years old, to avoid any kind of challenges.

☄️ mars in scorpio, 14° / 2nd decan ruled by pluto and neptune

you’re an extremely goal-oriented person. you want to be the best at everything you do, not only to be better than others but also the best for yourself. you’re very astute, it’s impossible to trick you, and you always find a way to be in charge and get what you want. yet, you can get quite obsessed about your goals, that you could do extreme things to get what you want. in fact, people with this placement can even manipulate others, as they’re totally capable of doing that. people are naturally attracted to you, you have a way with words, and hence you’re always able to convince others into giving you what you want. but luckily, this doesn’t turn into manipulation, you probably don’t even realize this skill of yours, and hence you don’t use it to damage others. you are very persuasive, but you don't do it on purpose, you could actually be a little naive. when you get angry, you could actually get scary, though. your emotions are very intense, it’s hard to calm you down. you may be very sarcastic and aggressive with your words. you could hurt people, but you don’t do it on purpose. most of the time, you don’t even mean the things you say. you may also vent your anger with physical action, hence you could slam doors, punch or break things etc.

scorpio mars conjunct scorpio saturn: you're a serious competitor, as your mind is very strategic. your ambition makes you want to be the best wherever you are, and you may actually overwork yourself to achieve your goals. establishing your status is important for you. you may not be the type to act instantly, you prefer taking your time to follow a plan. in fact, you probably write down what you have to do in an agenda, or even in your phone's notes app. you have this strong sense of duty, as you feel 100% responsible of your fate. you're sure that, if you don't work hard, you don't deserve success and recognition. in fact, you don't take orders from others, you are your own boss. you could have materialistic tendencies, as wealth is what motivates you the most to work or just take action in general. you may often experience burnouts, as saturn, especially near mars, brings intense workaholic tendencies.

🏡 houses

your 1st house is in taurus. you have a slow, cautious approach to the world. you don’t like rushing things, you prefer taking your time on any decision you make, it doesn’t matter whether it’s about what to wear or even about your future career. you’re fond of arts, creativity and self-expression in general, and people may actually know you for your creativity. combined with your aquarius sun, you may even seem alternative.

your 2nd house is in gemini. you’re probably very intelligent, and your skills are what boost your self-esteem. you’re also capable of doing more than one thing at the same time. you could make money from communication, hence you could become a writer, a singer, a theraphist, a judge, even an influencer. anything that involves the use of words. you may also be quite intelligent, and your intellect and ideas are what make you feel most confident. you’re most likely very creative, you could do amazing at artistic outlets like writing, drawing, acting above all thanks to your prominent and dramatic leo dominance. you may actually gain money from your creativity, so you may pursue a career that involves it. you may often also experience creative blockages.

your 3rd house is in cancer. your parents were probably successful in school and university, and they passed down their knowledge to you. maybe, you may have the same interests or passions as them, or perhaps they want you to be academically successful just like them. you may also find yourself talking about your memories, as you’re very attached to them, or even directly about your childhood/parents. the ruler of the 3rd house is in the 12th house: you may be interested in the occult, in astrology, in religion, in psychology, in philosophy... anything that deals with the metaphysical. the theme of mental health is also very prominent in your lifetime.

your 4th house is in leo. your family had great expectations of you, which could have eventually led to anxiety/self-esteem issues. on the other hand, your parents cared about you, and they always made sure that you had everything you needed. if you have siblings, you were most likely the favourite child in the family, or at least you were spoiled by your parents, both with material things and affection. overall, your childhood wasn’t much turbulent, even though your parents most likely were quite strict with you. there could have been lots of arguing as well aside from restrictions, and hence it was hard for you to establish a proper emotional bond with them. because of that, you may feel a little insecure now, as you may constantly feel misunderstood by others.

your 5th house is in virgo. you enjoy relax, yet you may feel guilty to abandon work for a while. you always feel like you have something to do, and that doesn’t allow you to fully enjoy your rest time. make sure to always find some space for yourself, though. it’s where your energy resides, you feel at home and comfortable exploring your abilities, you shouldn’t take them for granted. also, this enhances your writing abilities even more. in fact, you’re both creative to create stories and rational to tell them objectively and in a clear manner. you're picky with your lovers and friends, it takes time for you to open up to someone and fully trust them, but once you do, you're very loyal. I don't see you being as extroverted as other geminis, you need your alone time, but you definitely don't mind spending time with your loved ones and close friends.

your 6th house is in libra. pluto, mars and saturn are also sitting in this house. you most likely involve beauty, art, aesthetics and creativity in your daily routine. your home environment probably looks very neat and well-designed. you care a lot about it, as much as you care about yourself; you put a lot of attention in your outfits and looks too, and you most likely love shopping. this is another placement that indicates that your ideal career should serve your need for creativity and self-expression. it’s very important for you to pursue a career that helps you find a way to express the creative side of your mind. you may also often find yourself dating people from your daily routine, hence co-workers, classmates etc. your life revolves around being productive. you don't like to waste your time, you always try to learn and gain something useful from everything you do. that's caused by the fact that you're motivated to be perfect in what you like; this, combined with your competitive nature, may often cause you to burn out. in fact, the downside to this placement is that you may overwork yourself too much. this is bad, as if you work too much you don't have time to travel with your mind, you can't relax and have fun. in fact, it may be hard for you to endure too much hard work. you're capable of achieving your goals, but in order to do that you also need a break from time to time. you may be passionate about routine, self-care, health and work, to the point that it looks (and feels) obsessive. you may attract enemies in your daily life, e.g co-workers that are jealous of your ambition. you might have to undergo different changes in your routine and health throughout your life, which can literally transform you both physically and emotionally.

your 7th house is in scorpio, with also uranus placed there. you tend to attract very intense partners. your future spouse will be very loyal and fond of you, but they may be a little too obsessive for you. it will be a very intimate relationship, but you may struggle with control. in fact, you’ll most likely be both very possessive and easily jealous, and there may be some arguments regarding this issue. with this placement, you may also attract ‘broken’ people, such as drug dealers, alcoholics, abusers… your relationships will be very karmic. they may be painful, as you love hard when you fall for someone, but they’ll be crucial for your self-growth. perhaps, you could even attract mentally unstable partners, they could be a bit moody for example. last but not least, you may meet your future spouse in an unexpected situation.

your 8th house is in sagittarius. neptune, jupiter and venus are also in this house. you’re very curious when it comes to taboo topics, you like learning about them. you’re probably into conspiracy theories, as well as matters like astrology, tarots, horror, tragedies, violence… you can use them to transform yourself and grow up, so you could definitely use this birth chart reading to improve yourself. 8th house is also the house of karma, and yours is kind of strange. you may often feel like you’re right about something, e.g the sky is blue. you’re very proud of your observation, but then it turns out to be different. it’s like the universe is constantly teaching you new things. luckily, this is something that gets better with time. in addition, having sagittarius here is great, as jupiter kind of protects you from the 8th house’s malefic themes. all the negative things that could happen to you, are actually blessings that are here to help you. you just need to be a little bit more optimistic, the universe has your back. as for love, you have high expectations for your future partner. you always try to be at your best state, and you want those who surround you to be perfect too. it's hard for you to fall for someone, as you take everything in consideration: personality, physical appearance, fashion sense... it may look like it is too much, but once you find the right one that truly satisfies your standards, you're in for a long ride. you'll want to travel, live your life in the best way possible with the person you love. you look at them as if they were the brighest star in the sky, and you want to be seen like this as well. you may even be a bit clingy, but your partner needs to be aware of that. they can't repress your need for affection. you see love as a way to revive your inner child, you feel younger when you're in love. even though you want someone fun and outgoing, you also need someone ambitious, hard-working and generally serious when it comes to committing. there's no room in your life for flaky people.

your 9th house is in capricorn. mercury is also in this house. you have a pragmatic approach to philosophy, school and experiences in general. for example, you may be the type to plan every day of a travel. at school, you were probably the type to prefer more logical subjects, but I assume that you were good at all of them. you may often get lost in your thoughts and get unmotivated from time to time, even though this mercury's energy is way too strong to be ignored. you most likely love travelling and making new experiences. if you had to choose how to spend your spare time, you’d most likely choose to travel somewhere. you’re also extremely open-minded, you hardly ever have prejudices. you surely don’t judge people from their sexuality, skin colour etc, you actually dislike that kind of things. last but not least, you may also have a knack for philosophy, poetry, literature, history… anything that can open your mind and stimulate your creativity.

your 10th house is in aquarius. your sun is also sitting in this house. you want to stand out from the crowd, you strive to establish your own morals and beliefs. you don’t want to conform to anything and anyone, as you’re a trend-setter and you want to be seen as such. you’d rather have a job where you can handle your work yourself, rather than having a boss. in fact, aquarius in this house makes you extremely resolute and motivated to achieve your goals and be independent. you may not be much interested in love, and if you are, you don’t overlook career either. having a stable and successful future that makes you happy is the key for happiness in your life. it could take you some time at first to be recognized for your efforts. you may easily experience 'almost-winner’ situation, and hence you could often make silly mistakes that ruin your work. it’s important to be focused when working, especially for you. yet, once you know how to balance this tricky energy and get your stuff together, you’ll earn a reputation for being an innovative and original person. you may be quite artistic, creative and emotional, you’ll probably focus your life on self-expression. you are most likely going to be independent at work, you'll most likely have your own business. you could possibly work online as well, you could earn money through the internet. you may also become famous or well-known on social media. generally speaking, you'll pursue an original career that will allow you to earn money in an unconventional way.

your 11th house is in pisces. you probably had problems with your friendships in your early years. you could have been too shy to approach people, hence you struggled to befriend them. or maybe, you used to gossip around, and that led you to lose them. or perhaps, you’re too work-oriented to find some spare time to hang out with others, and hence you end up losing your bond with them. in the best case, you may have quite spiritual / religious friends, or perhaps they’re your soulmates, they were a part of your past life. you have this habit of idealizing them a bit; that is, you may be too picky in choosing your friends. you’re probably looking for the type of friend that’d literally throw themselves under a car to save you, but it’s hard to actually find someone like that. open up more and accept others as they are. you don’t necessarily need to be with them for a long time, but make sure to learn your lessons from them.

lastly, your 12th house is in aries. there’s this side of you that is very bold and daring, but you struggle to let it out. it’s hidden inside of you, and you’re only able to show this side of yourself to those who can understand you. you’re also extremely scared of physical violence, like rape, fights, wars… they’re probably your deepest fears. you are probably very spiritual and intuitive. you'll have lots of meaningful dreams, possibly prophetic dreams that could warn you about the future. you may be able to perceive and talk to higher entities such as spirits, and you could become a master at manifestation. with a positive attitude, you'll be able to attract everything you want in your life. you rely a lot on your intuition rather than logic. this may make you appear as submissive, sometimes, as if you can’t stand up for yourself. you’re actually a very spiritual person though, who thinks deeply before acting. you’re aware of your actions, but at the same time you’re ready for eventual changes in your schedule/routine. you have no problems improvising, you’re very versatile. the problem is, you may rely so much on your intuition that you don’t take action. you’re the type to fantasize about being a better person, rather than trying to become one. you may also have the tendency to be passive-aggressive and avoid problems; you may prefer being cold to someone rather than trying to work your argument out.

❤️ love life, soulmates

in love, you attract scorpio, aquarius, leo, capricorn and gemini. your future spouse will most likely have scorpio and capricorn traits; they’ll be extremely intelligent and astute, with a great thrist for knowledge of any kind. yet, they’ll also have a warm, playful, almost childish vibe to them that will make you feel like a teenager again. you’ll most likely meet them at your job place, even though it may take you a while. you’ll probably meet them after your 27-28s. they’ll also most likely have something to do with teaching or abroad. they could be foreign, or at least they’re able to speak more than one language. they’ll also be very open-minded and wise, probably older than you. your children will have virgo, leo and gemini traits as well: they’ll be extremely intelligent and witty, maybe a bit too paranoid, but also very fond of their parents, especially of you. they’ll love playing around, but they could be a bit immature. they’ll also love being spoiled with affection, as well as material things.

👶🏻 family life

your mother was very maternal with you, and she probably had cancer / water placements. she was very supportive of your decisions, and she was also very intelligent and fun to be around. your father was also very dominant in your family, and he was probably older than your mother. he was very hard-working, maybe even absent in your life, but it was because he wanted to give you all he could. he’s possibly a capricorn or another earth sign. you may have a few siblings, and they could even be your twins. you probably have a nice relationship with them; you’re all very intelligent and playful at the same time. you most likely share the same ideas and opinions. they’re also very astute, and they could have gemini and / or virgo placements.

📊 career

I can picture you being an amazing teacher or even professor. based on your other placements, you could also do well at literally any creative career! you may be a dancer, a singer, or even something more complex like a creative director. otherwise, you could also be successful as a designer of any kind, an architect, a scientist… something that allows you to be mostly independent, but that can still guarantee you mental stimulation and a decent income, and that also allows you to use your creative venusian energy. I also see you working in the spotlight, you could possibly become a celebrity or at least you may get famous on the internet. you could work online or using technology, for example if you're an artist you may prefer digital art. you could also work in human resources and marketing.

👗 fashion sense, style analysis

your style may be quite androgynous, yet still very classy. even if you’re wearing a simple sweatshirt, you make sure that it’s all neat and high quality above all. you could fancy wearing basic, ageless pieces, such as blazers, jeans, shirts etc. you mostly wear monochrome shades, such as black, white, beige, grey etc., but you still make them look effortlessly trendy. you could also be into retro trends, especially 20s/60s fashion or even 70s or 80s.

👁️ past life, life purpose

in your past life, the focus was on your relationships with others. maybe, you had troubles with self-esteem and identity in general and you used to depend on others. you had to work hard and finally understand how to build healthy relationships with others to fulfill your past life purpose. hence, this lifetime your focus will be yourself. even though at first you might feel quite insecure, this lifetime you're here to develop this matter. after all, saturn will give you many lessons in order to transform yourself and grow into a better person.

🤔 major transits analysis / may 9

with the sun transiting your 12th house, touching your natal taurus moon, this may be an emotional period for you. you might be feeling extra sensitive, you may be offended easily and as a result, you argue with others more than usual. you may be impulsive, driven by your own emotions and create conflict without meaning to. try to control your words and your temper in these days, in order to avoid useless stress.

🧿 manifest what you want, secret skills

your secret skills revolve around finances and just security in general. with a positive attitude, you may attract material luck: money, clothes, houses… everything that you desire. since you’re a logical person, I assume the most efficient way for you to manifest through the LOA is writing! take a notebook and just write down positive affirmations, such as 'I have the car of my dreams’ etc. you may also write them on post-its and glue them around your house, so that you can accelerate the progress. you can also try to idealize your wish before trying to manifest it. for example, if you want a new sweatshirt, try to imagine yourself wearing it. you could also go into a shop and actually try that sweatshirt it on; being in contact with it will boost the law of attraction even more.

this is the end! thank you again for booking a reading, hope it resonated with you :)

- libramc xx

#astrology

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