#not sure how to label my faith tbh

[chelledoggo]

my spiritual/deconstruction journey been like

(context: came from an evangelical background and still constantly in the process of unlearning the fear/anxiety)

[stil-lindigo]

okay so, not entirely sure what the last anon was on about (and it very well could be a troll just trying to bait. they really should have at least brought up what they meant if they wanted to appear in good faith), but it may be in relation to "drink up" and how it attracted terf attention on twitter? (which I know you addressed btw, so I hope this doesn't come across as an attack or anything)

personally, I think the phrase "our only natural predator" might have appealed to terf rhetoric just a little (but that's my opinion - I very well could be 100% wrong). I have my own personal feelings on the use of "natural" in the phrase (men don't naturally prey on women like animal predators do their prey - if anything, it's unnatural, deliberately chosen behavior - and it reminds me of the excuse that "it's just naturally how men are," like "boys will be boys." HOWEVER, I see how that phrasing ties into the "lioness/women turning it around and preying on the predator" theme, so honestly it works well there), but aside from all that, I can also see why it might've attracted terfs: bc they very often view and frame trans women as male predators to cis women. I know that's definitely not how you intended it though!!

and this also isn't meant as a nitpick to your work, so my apologies if that's how it comes across. I really like your art and your writing (and "drink up" has a very cool theme)! it's just that I can see how terfs might've interpreted it a certain way. it's not your fault that they viewed it like that though, and you've made it very clear you're NOT down with trans exclusionary BS. so that's literally the only thing I could see anon complaining about tbh, assuming they're not just being a troll. also I'm sorry for the super long message (I have an issue w/ typing too much smh). I just thought I'd share my thoughts on it in case it's at all helpful, but also this might just be annoying to read instead, so honestly feel free to just discard it if you prefer!

It’s not annoying at all anon, and I appreciate you taking the time to send this in. The comic you’re talking about is one I think back on with a lot of regret. It was made in a furious haze after a big time female streamer revealed that she was being mentally abused for years by her husband, where he would waste her hard earned money, threaten her dogs and her livelihood and overall be a monster to the woman who was their primary breadwinner. The reaction online to this information by her largely male audience was so genuinely vile and violently misogynistic that I made the comic, without thinking broadly about the implications you’ve already pointed out. In reality, the comic was meant to talk about how all women (cis and trans) suffer under the patriarchy and how the label of womanhood can often be an open call for baseless derision, dehumanisation and entitlement at many levels.

TERFS quickly co-opted the comic, and I’ll always regret ever giving them an opportunity to feel empowered and validated by my art, but I’ve learned from the experience overall to do better by my trans siblings. Thank you for engaging in good faith - I hope my behaviour now and in the future can make up for past mis-steps.

[yamayuandadu]

How high are the chances that Ōtakemaru (大嶽丸) will appear in the Touhou Project? He is one of the original three greatest yokai in Japan. Kishin (鬼神) has already been introduced in the Wild and Horned Hermit manga, with Suiki (水鬼) as one of them, though I also hope for more of Fujiawara Chikata's Onis in the series.

I don’t have any uncles or other relatives customarily said to relay such info working for Team Shanghai Alice so I couldn’t in good faith claim I have any real idea what are the odds that ZUN will base a character on him. As for whether I think it would work, you can find out under the cut.

Before Urumi no oni actually shown in the games was based on anyone other than Shuten Dōji’s underlings but it seems safe to say nothing’s off limits now, between her and Zanmu, whose counterpart wasn’t even regarded as an oni (at best you could make a case for tengu since Razan Hayashi considered his Buddhist opponents tengu and this category sort of kind of includes Zanmu since he’s mentioned in one of his tirades against Tenkai).

ZUN’s definition of kishin is basically made up, so I am not sure if it has any impact on who might plausibly show up. There is a real term for oni and oni-adjacent figures shown in scenes of hell, kisotsu (鬼卒) or gokusotsu (獄卒), but I don’t really see much overlap in use with kishin, which is ultimately a label I’ve actually mostly seen in onmyōdō context. Also, the concept of “three greatest yokai” is an entirely modern invention. On top of that, Kazuhiko Komatsu coined it entirely based on the fact that the three stories whose antagonists he refers to with this moniker end with their remains placed in the treasure house of Uji. I’m not sure where the similar grouping with Sutoku listed instead of Ōtakemaru alongside Tamamo no Mae and Shuten Dōji originates, but I find it to be more representative, both because it makes the group into a genuine quintessence of all major medieval fears, and because there is a solid case to be made that these three are the big names with the most reinterpretations.  I have nothing against Ōtakemaru, but his historical popularity seems more limited. He’s somewhere between Kidōmaru and completely z listers like idk. Kugamimi no Mikasa in terms of notoriety and I feel like you could make a case for the likes of Zegaibō, Tarōbō or even Tesso over him as “greatest yokai” and whatnot.

Perhaps an argument can be made that Ōtakemaru’s relative lack of actual notoriety makes him more suitable for Touhou. That’s a point I can’t refute. However, in practical terms, I am not sure what a character based on him would offer that Suika couldn’t do better - all that sets him apart from just being a budget Shuten Dōji is the location he lived in and his opponent, and neither of these would really matter in Touhou most likely. Tbh I’m not even sure if there’s any real benefit to going with Ōtakemaru over Suzuka Gozen, frankly. Not even being the character with most potential in own story seems like a problem.

As far as other oni go, I’m not sure if I’d go with Fujiwara no Chikata’s minions either, they are pretty bland themselves; they work well in Megaten but that’s about it. Not like Suiki is a character in the proper sense in Touhou - I’ve seen people not even realizing this is a given name and I can't blame them. As far as oni who would be fun to see go, Momiji instantly comes to mind (the story is even set in the right province lol), but there are many good candidates. Off the top of my head: the oni Ki no Haseo encountered (I feel like you could do a lot with the body parts patchwork woman from that story. Dr. Frankenstein themed oni?), the oni of Rashomon version from the Minamoto no Hiromasa legend which makes him a reincarnation of a master craftsman from India, or Abe no Nakamaro (my personal favorite, I have a character based on him).

[nothorses]

it’s disheartening how many people will throw around “theyfab” around without realizing how truscummy it sounds like

first time i heard the term it sounded like something a transphobe or terf would say, so why are trans people using the term for other trans people?

I mean, for the same reasons truscum exist, tbh. At least in my experience it's a reaction to people who- in their eyes- are cis girls using she/they pronouns and changing nothing else, as an excuse to Claim The Trans Experience and/or Avoid Accountability For Transphobia.

Which like... okay. I have certainly felt this way in the past (pretty exclusively about one person who came out as trans but indicated no desire to change literally anything- pronouns included- immediately after I suggested they might be doing something transphobic), but regardless of how obvious that assumption seems when you line up all the facts in a row, at the end of the day it's just... not an assumption anyone gets to make.

Sure, maybe there are people out there who claim labels to avoid accountability when they've done harm to those communities. And that sucks! Y'know, if it's actually true.

But the only reason that works in the first place is because of this "listen to [marginalized group] voices!" thing that started as good-faith encouragement to seek out perspectives from the relevant groups on the relevant issues, and has morphed into a practice of waving around victim statuses so you'll be allowed to shut down and punish anyone who disagrees with you on anything.

If you're willing to accept that even trans people can be transphobic, and understand that that hearing or deferring to one individual's perspective does not make you an expert on a topic, this isn't a problem in the first place.

But most of the people who feel threatened by "theyfabs" aren't willing to accept those things; particularly those who fling around half-baked "theories" about how transmascs are just "theyfabs" trying to Invade Trans Spaces.

After all, the whole argument against "transandrophobia" is fueled by the idea that only one group of trans people can matter at a time- and the fear that the (extremely relative, essentially meaningless) "power" of being able to Have The Final Say on trans issues & immunity against accusations of hurting other people is being taken away from them.

[anonymous-eggy]

i had been talking to a friend and we had an idea that had been stuck with me for a while😃

um. vampire au👀 mc can also be a vamp but VAMPIRE AU…Nicky with sharp teeth..hehe… and red glowing eyes…

apparently i lied when i said i wasnt very interested in Nicky anymore. i think its just seasonal. warm weather brings back the need to think ab him. time to go through my dusty old inbox and spout gibberish at the ghosts.

jealous of anon for having a friend to talk ab Nicky with fr. if only fictif didnt suck and get abandoned, I'd force my friends to play it.

AS HOT AS VAMPIRE NICKY WOULD BE...I HAVE TO TALK AB VAMP MC

poor Nicky trying to hide the fact that he, a catholic (or so he swears, despite not acting very catholic) sicilian mob boss, is in love with a chaotic arsonist (possibly queer as hell) vampire mc is so so funny.

Like. suddenly he's also completely nocturnal bc he wants to spend time around his love and Chris is like "dude you never wanna do meetings during the day anymore, why do i have to go to all your daytime meetings" and Nicky has to try to pass off an excuse.

----

Chris: whatcha got there?

Nicky, holding a parasol over his vampire lover while holding their drink: alcohol :D

----

also... him allowing mc to bite his neck and then practically begging for it next time you need blood bc surprise this 6 foot somethin' mafia boss found out he gets a lil hot, bothered, and submissive when you bite him and drink his blood. straddle his lap while doin it to feel the effects what who said that. anyway. uh. 👀

the absolute confusion this man would feel in terms of whats possible and his faith. can someone be catholic and horny for a vampire lover? surely he can bc he also finds it hot how "wrong" it is despite how good it feels. but yeah tbh he wouldnt think too much bc he canonically doesn't think too hard ab love he just goes with what he feels and doesnt question much further than that.

(side tangent: i adore him so much for being one of the only love interests I've ever seen that canonically uses no labels for his sexuality. no label representation. i adore that he doesnt wanna be put in a box. and its not just because he lives in the 1920s and doesnt have the word for his sexuality, he just truly doesnt vibe with labelling his sexuality. good for him. if you didnt know this, surprise! thats a fun fact from this dumbass who knows practically everything about his character bc i cant be chill about anything and must know everything)

anyway for example with my self insert(ish) mc: trans gay little vampire man who turns into a sgrunkly little bat and hangs from his chandelier in protest that Nicky had to go to a daytime meeting for once? Nicky comes out of the kitchen with a lil platter of fruits to lure him down for a cuddle by the fire place while sweetly apologizing bc god forbid he do his job and not suffer the wrath of a little clingy dustball squeaking at him.

OR NICKY TUCKING LITTLE BAT MC IN HIS COAT DURING THE DAY WHILE HE DOES HIS ROUNDS CHECKING ON HIS BUSINESSES?! he just reaches into his coat every now and then to give his love a little scritch on the head 😭 and everyone around him gets nervous that he's hiding something super valuable or dangerous that he doesnt wanna lose (which is true, but not in the way they think)

see also: Nicky getting into some trouble during the night and being all chill ab it and saying to the guys "oh im not the one you gotta be afraid of" and the guys laughing until guard dog Mc appears, absolutely pissed, hungry, and ready to hunt their fill for the night.

and mc just randomly one day being like "you realize im a good 200 years older than you, right." after Nicky says something that implies Mc is younger and Nicky immediately lights up and just begins asking baseball history questions, not even phased by Mc saying that. which is much to Mc's dread.

my brain worms have recently been obsessed with the concept of a mob boss falling in love with a vampire anyway, so this is prime thinks for me.

i shall continue rotating this in my mind.

[ruthlesslistener]

We sure do live in a society, don't we.

The anons sending you hate are doing my head in. Like, I can completely understand why they bristled at your initial response, because as someone who writes Ghost as an adult in a child's body (hi, Gently, my beloved fic that is drowning from my dead muse), I had a kind of similar "hey wait" response at first.

But then you CLARIFIED. You took the time to ask, listen and let others educate you on another POV. It may not have changed your own personal HCs (and that's OK!!!), but you clarified your meaning was not people like me - it was not the average person who spurred it - and that's all anyone can really ask for. You don't have to agree with or ask people.

The best part of fandom is taking bits and pieces of each other's ideas and using them to decorate our sand castles and make them our own. That means "I wouldn't spin it that way but I liked reading how you did it." It also sometimes means "Oh I cannot get behind that but I respect your right to."

I think it says a lot that people are on anon, rather than actually talking to you and giving you a chance to engage with them one-on-one. I'm not sure I would label them trolls. I think their feelings got hurt and they are lashing out because of it, in an impolite way, rather than stopping to listen to explanations. I am going to give the benefit of doubt and assume that ill-intent wasn't meant, and that the reason they're on anon is that anxiety has them going "if I say it on my main, I'm going to get flamed because I offended popular tumblr user." To that I say: If you weren't on anon, Aren could've replied privately to you, and likely would have. A one-on-one conversation can go a large way for trying to clear up misunderstandings.

TBH, I probably could've just sent all of this on Discord but I just am frustrated. Asks like the ones you received are why I am terrified of sharing my own headcanons, why I assume anyone asking me ANY opinions has bad faith, and why everything I say has a giant ass disclaimer on it with "THIS IS LIKE, JUST MY OPINION GUYS" and we shouldn't have to do that. We shouldn't have to sit and police everything that we say because Someone Might Twist It.

Anyway, sorry. I just needed to put this out here because I was about to blow up on my own blog. lmao

Thank you tumblr user grollow I appreciate it immensely and I agree with everything you said about fandom being a sandbox made more fun by people having different ideas that make things fun to play with. It's just that I've been off in my corner playing relatively on my own for a bit, which kinda fucks over the amount of context you get on things a bit. And also the miscommunication had the misfortune of landing squarely in the intersection between 'things I really don't like' and 'things that have a canon basis but lack canonical descriptive details', turning it into a shitshow. Which I really really fucking wish didn't happen, even if I did enjoy discussing the pros and cons of different mental interpretations of Ghost and was able to come to the conclusion that it's about as appealing to me as a slice of apple pie. Which is to say, I like certain bits of it and will gladly nibble at said bits, but if there's any other option out there I'd take it over pie anyday. It's not bad and I certainly do enjoy it in extremely specific context, but it also doesn't appeal to me in the slightest and there's certain parts that I refuse to touch altogether (the texture of cooked fruit makes me cringe and nauseates me, much like the idea of Ghost being an adult trapped in a child's body from a horror perspective incites panic). But that's fine, bc then I can just plop the filling onto a friend's plate for their enjoyment, and nibble away at the bits I like in piece. My dislike of pie doesn't extend to the people who enjoy it, nor do I get upset when my brother refuses to eat what I cook for him. He's picky, I'm picky, I've got no right to judge. He's just as valid for saying my cream cheese frosting is gross as I am for thinking him refusing to eat anything but mac n cheese and scrambled eggs is gross. Same concept with fandom here

(And honestly, my judgement on the whole minor/adult thing is seperate from Ghost as a character altogether. I'm of similar mind with Miquella of Elden Ring, who is canonically an adult trapped in a child's body. Having a relationship with him in his child form would be fucked up- hell, even Mohg goes for breaking the curse first, and Mohg is canonically fucking insane! This isn't something limited to just one fandom, it's a hard line I draw in fiction in general)

Also yeah, I totally would have just worked it out in private, but I get the feeling the anon thinks I'm running some sort of clique or something over here where I would have twisted it into clout somehow. Which needless to say, I would not fucking do. Can't say this enough, but I'm autistic as all getout and had to deal with that enough in high school so I have nothing but contempt for that sort of behavior.

[fellow-traveller]

There's a minor debate in the JoJo fandom about Part 3 having fillers. I'm just...;;-;;

Consider this a mini attempt to help the new gen of JoJo fans understand something about JoJo. Might be kinda long, so...under the cut :)

JoJo is probably one of the anime that has no fillers. JoJo manga's runtime from Part 1 to 6 is from 1987 to 2003 pretty much gets faithful adapted into the 2013 anime. They have minor changes and additions to it from the manga, but not enough to be calling them fillers. Even the OVA, it still holds the storyline without straying away from the source material.

But somehow, a few fans, minor up to the age of 25, misunderstood what a filler in anime is. They sort of assumed that filler means boring plots or side stories that are not important to the main plot.

I'm sorry but, no.

Fillers are story arcs/major events in an official anime that do not exist in its original source material i.e. the manga or novel. Filler was used (and still is) to "fill up" the time between the production of the manga and the anime that is supposed to refer from said manga. As not to have the anime catch up with the manga, fillers are made.

Best examples of anime notorious for fillers are Naruto and One Piece. They had story arcs, 2-3 episodes (or more) long, and definitely doesn't add much to the actual story in the manga. Newest addition would most likely be MHA, but that's more of padding (adding extra elements/scenes to existing story) than an actual filler.

I get wanting to label an episode in JoJo as uninteresting, but filler is not the correct word to use. If it's boring to you, then it's just that - boring.

Plus, I'm not sure how other JoJo fans perceived JoJo's story arcs and how they were constructed in terms of art and pace. If one notices, Araki has the habit of showing a dramatic scene or a battle in slow motion. Unlike other battle shounen anime/manga, every movement, every punch, every kick, is fast paced. But JoJo is drawn in such a way to show the actions in slowed time.

As such, it's best to keep that in mind when one feels like the battles are drawn or the story prolonged. The pace is normal, but Araki drew them to depict slow motion.

I'm obviously biased with Part 3 since it's my favourite part, but if you want it to be less boring for you, maybe instead of concentrating on the story pace and the "villain of the week" framework, try looking it in a different angle.

Like, why tarot cards? Why the association to colours for their Stands? Why the certain designs of the characters/Stands? Why the small changes from manga to anime? Or manga to OVA to anime? Tbh, there are so many things one can dig just by the cards alone, which can make your experience with Part 3 more enjoyable.

[bcofl0ve]

mollie why does nobody in the fandom want the priscilla film?

a little part of me doesn't even want to touch this topic bc the discourse grates on me but. i do believe in being honest and i don't want to obfuscate my own views just to go along/get along.

i am looking forward to the priscilla film. of course sure i might hate it, but i'm expecting to like it and prob will. though austin will always be "my elvis", i think sofia weaves beautiful stories about the female experience. and i trust her to tell a faithful story of priscilla's life in a way that cilla didn't feel the mini series director (who fwiw, was a man) did. and i realize this is an unpopular opinion. but tbh my *chief* worry in all of this is people in the elvis fandom using this movie as some sort of purity test and running anyone who enjoys it out for being a "traitor".

and can i be very honest? i was scratching my head at some of the tweets going around the other day to the effect of "ugh elvis fans we're gonna be in the trenches defending him". like...defending him against what exactly? the truth? i realllly don't want touch the discourse about priscilla allegedly exaggerating some things in her book. but i do think the take of "well this didn't happen exactly as written by her so their relationship was perfect and she's a evil lying bitch" is bordering into delusional. not to mention the thing she said she exaggerated was one specific incident, the sex after she told elvis she wanted a divorce. the way people talk about it you'd think she released a "50 things i lied about list" when that is not what was said at alllll.

i am a huge elvis fan, i cry sometimes over wishing he was still alive and he will mean so much to me forever. but he wasn't a god. he was a human. he had missteps, sometimes severe missteps, and i just can't in good conscience argue in defense of some of them like it appears some fans will be doing. yes, the times were different. i will never call priscilla a victim of abuse when she hasn't chosen to label herself as one. but i also won't sit here and act like elvis did every last thing right by her. even people in his life were concerned about how young she was. even for ~the times~ he was pushing it. and that is not a fact i like, but facts do not care about what i like after all.

her life was turned upside down when she was 14 years old because she fell in love, and she's undergone 60+ years of public scrutiny since. when cilla could've chosen the easy path into oblivion, or allowed herself to be lifted up as a saint by people who hate elvis, she didn't. she *chose* to put money, time, energy and grief into legacy work. she *chose* to go above and beyond for his fans when she quite frankly, owed us nothing. if a microphone being held to her life story for like two hours really negates that and makes her a villain in the eyes of certain elvis fans i find that sad. women's stories matter. always.

[monstersinthecosmos]

The only consequence of your wholesome speech about 'curating your own internet experience' and being responsible about what happens to you is that it leans towards borderline victim blaming; haters are not going to stay away once they blocked if they really have it out for you or they want to steal your content; that's entry level knowledge and the global experience with the internet as a whole summed up. Tumblr makes it very easy for anyone to repeatedly come at you no matter how many times you block them. I've had a stalker linger on my blogs even after repeatedly begging them to leave me and my friends alone. I started a new blog and this person followed me. So, tell me how is it so "safe" for anyone to self protect by mere blocking? It isn't our fault if someone makes a new blog and continues to harass us and or steal our art/gifs/content. As someone who claims to have been on Tumblr your whole life you should this all this. It is very simple to get around blocks, especially when they have back up.

These are great points, and you're not wrong, but it isn't what my post was about. I wasn't talking about your or my own safety against dangerous people in fandom, I was talking about the idea of shielding oneself from triggering or uncomfortable content.

I realize context was lost by not publishing the original ask (I thought it was a little too baity for fandom drama) but it was about *me* being the dangerous one. My point is that someone being into kinky shit that you don't like doesn't make that person dangerous, and it's everyone's responsibility to curate their dash to see content they actually want to see.

Unfortunately Tumblr does suck at keeping people safe, you're right. I've had those experiences too, and Tumblr never helped when I made reports. And my only point bringing up the bullies is the irony that I've been targeted and "outed" as a dangerous person, and I'm not, and I'm saying that people who have stalked & harassed ME have ironically tried to claim it was a moral crusade. Advice I have against that type of abuse is a different topic and one that deserves its own post to breathe, and tbh I'm not sure I'm the right person to make that post. I've tried to keep myself safe the best I can and I'm positive that if I tried to share anything helpful that I'd be read in bad faith and have more anons about how I didn't cover every person's unique situation and frankly it's fucking exhausting. There's only so much we can do when operating on Tunglr Dot Com if the TOS and moderation does not give a fuck about us, and that's not something I can fix for you.

We're having two different conversations right now and I'm sorry that my post didn't apply to your experience. I was talking about my own experience of being labeled/targeted because of how often I like to talk about Armand's asshole and I think maybe there was a miscommunication somewhere.

[bonesandthebees]

fun fact the whole time i was reading the new glass chapter and especially the night market scene i just kept thinking [THIS ACTION WILL HAVE CONSEQUENCES] over and over again lmaooo

we're getting more "he"s and more "wilbur"s fuck yeah!! i got so excited when i noticed the lack of the name pythia in the narration in the bathhouse scene bc i don't usually notice it on my first read. it's such a genius narrative style can i just say again how much i love it

that conversation at the end is really interesting to me. wilbur/pythia's chosen now to stay with the deathlings, because while his situation with them is complicated they're still kinder to him than anyone in the palace had ever been, and he's realized that! he's finally admitting that the things that were done to him as the pythia hurt! that's a huge step and i'm so proud of him 🖤

but he's still loyal to clara, he still "belongs" to her in his own words, and i think that loyalty's the final thing holding up his identity as "pythia" over his identity as "wilbur" (if that makes sense?) and i doubt he'll ever stop being the pythia until he can admit that he is his own person and he does deserve better than just being a holy vessel, and only then he'd be able to let go of the "pythia" identity

but, speaking from personal experience, losing faith in something you've grown up believing is painful, especially when it's so entwined with your very identity, and i'm not sure wilbur/pythia's quite ready to face that, or even if it's a good choice for him tbh

(man i'm not very good at longform analyses, so if this doesn't really make sense i'm so sorry)

also. snakes tattoo man. if i'm right about who that is. ohhohhohHOOOOH i am so excited to see where this goes next!!

(i think i should start labelling my asks too at this point. i use 🖤 in a lot of my past asks, so i could go with that?)

LMAO will it have consequences or will it not hmm we'll see...

aaa thank you!! i'm having so much fun with the narration in this. this chapter especially involved more switching between 'pythia' and 'he' and 'wilbur' than i've ever done in a single chapter I think?? wilbur's mental state was all over the place so I was just going along with it and trying to make the narration match where his head was at at any given moment

yes he's taken a HUGE step. he was already kind of willingly staying with the deathlings before, but even then he could still reason it as like "well it's not like it would be an easy escape even if it was theoretically possible" but now he's done with the excuses. he could've just walked away and he didn't. and he admitted that being the pythia has hurt him!! it's such a big moment for him even if he's still falling a few steps back

yup, the thing is he cannot be both wilbur and the pythia because the two inherently contradict each other. the pythia is not supposed to be a person, and wilbur is the most human version of himself. if he accepts wilbur, he rejects the pythia and vice versa. so he can't be a person until he gives up his identity as the pythia. and losing your faith like that is painful, exactly like you said. so it's still going to take a bit for him to get to that point.

hehe you'll have to wait to find out who that is :)

tysm for your thoughts!! lovely to have you here black heart anon!

[fuglyjeans]

1-35 faggot

Yay ❤️thanks fag ❤️

1. are you beating the uhaul allegations?

I moved across the country to live with my gf after 2 years long distance. So, kinda? We only visited each other I think 6 times before the move. Idk if that's fast or not

2. Do you identify as butch, femme, masc, and/or gnc?

I've been considering the label femme. I find a lot of joy through playing with makeup and fashion, and my style is very girly.

3. How did you realize you were Sapphic?

When I was a teen I always in the back of my head kind of thought yeah I'd do a girl. But that's cause of my sin nature! Then during college I fell in love with my best friend(thats u 42069gay), lost my faith... then tried to date some men but every interaction made me want to rip my eyeballs out. I started to ID as a lesbian after a date with this guy that went really well, but I just felt so uncomfortable thinking about becoming his girlfriend. We hugged goodbye and I felt so scared of the idea of him kissing me. I cried all the way home on the train... and that's when I knew in my bones. i was lesbo

4. Who is/was your most intense Sapphic crush?

My gf! :3

5. Do you consider yourself a dyke?

Umm ig that depends how you mean it, I'm not sure if that's a label I'm allowed to use tbh. I'm a lesbian. I'm not masc, but I rise and put my right hand over my heart when anyone mentions dykes supporting fags.

6. Are you good at picking up when people are flirting with you, or do you tend to be more oblivious?

I can definitely tell, but my anxiety causes me to second-guess it.

7. Have you ever crushed on a straight girl?

There was this girl I went to church with during my college years, who started making out with me whenever we got drunk. (That shit kind of hurt 😕)

8. What's your relationship status? Are you happy about it?

I'm in a long-term relationship 💕 Our 4 year anniversary is next week, and I'm very happy.

9. Do you have a "type"? If so, what is it?

I've always been most attracted to women who are very feminine, but have some kind of odd or punk edge. women with bangs energy I guess. Brittany Murphy, Bjork, Lady Gaga, SZA, Kathleen Hanna. etc

10. Did you do anything gay as a kid that makes sense when you look back on your childhood?

There was this time in middle school when I was sleeping over at my friend's house. we were lying side-by-side in her bed, tracing circles on each other's backs and I got super turned on. She kind of prepositioned me in a joking way and I flipped out, but for years afterwards I wished I had reacted differently and fantasized about how that night could have gone. I have no idea how I didn't realize this was very gay

11. What are some good Sapphic songs/music artists?

Chappell Roan is my fave. Bikini Kill, Lady Gaga and Hayley Kiyoko r also very special to me. Also check out suspected lesbian Connie Converse she's so cool. Here's 3 random wlw songs I love too: -> Kissing Lessons by Lucy Dacus -> Don't Try Suicide by Team Dresch -> Pynk by Janelle Monae

12. Good Sapphic books/poems/authors?

I'm the worst for this bc I don't read enough :( but: -> The Color Purple by Alice Walker ->The Well of Loneliness by Radclyffe Hall ->My Lesbian Experience With Loneliness by Kabi Nagata

13. Good Sapphic movies/shows?

-> Revolutionary Girl Utena -> Portrait of a Lady On Fire -> But I'm a Cheerleader -> Heavenly Creatures -> Jennifer's Body -> Steven Universe sorryyy

14. List five things you look for in a partner or five things you love about your current partner.

1. Her honesty. Our biggest strength is communication 2. Her creativity and excellent taste in all kinds of art. She reminds me not to worry about the things I can't control!! Which I really need. Repeatedly 3. She doesn't believe in cringe; she's the most non-judgemental person I know. 4. When we get delusional and insane over the same character 🫶💕

15. Are you the gay cousin?

Yes lmao and the gay sister and the gay aunt.

16. Do you consider being Sapphic a big part of your identity?

Yes very much so!

17. How many people have you dated? Talk about them if you want!

Like 2. I have really bad social anxiety and was a totally weird late bloomer. I went on a few different dates but only *dated* one person before I met my s/o. It was super awkward, she was sweet but we were both very inexperienced and shy and I guess there just wasn't enough chemistry. we kind of hung out for 6 months, never kissed or made anything official, then I moved out of state and we ghosted each other... v awkward time but I do have some fun memories

18. Thoughts on e-dating or long distance? Have you ever done it? How did it go?

I totally support it. I think anonymity is what some of us need to allow ourselves to be vulnerable... I met my partner on tumblr, it was the only place I felt safe being my whole cringey self at the time. I always used to think it was weird to date someone you've never met, but once I found her I said what the hell, I have nothing to lose. Luckily it went well!! It's unconventional, but so is everything about my life.

19. describe your fashion sense. do you "dress gayly"?

I would say no, most people assume I'm straight. I have a somewhat basic wardrobe... My fashion sense is much campier and more colorful than my wallet allows.

20. do you consider yourself to be a good kisser?

I have no idea. I try my best

21. are you generally "out" to people?

Most of the time I try to be. I'm not out at work, because the vibe there is rather conservative (like, Bible tracts on the wall) so I don't feel safe just telling anyone.

22. how do you feel about valentine's day?

I like it a lot more, now that I'm no longer an adult virgin :)

23. do you like being referred to with masculine adjectives, feminine adjectives, both, or neither?

She/her I'm very cis

24. thoughts on marriage?

I like the idea of having a ceremony, but I don't know if I'd want to be legally married. I would need to read up on the ramifications of that a bit more.

25. have you ever gone to a pride parade?

yes! I marched in my hometown once, and I went to Boston Pride in 2019. I haven't been to any since but I mean to

26. do you read yuri manga?

nope

27. do you fit any sapphic stereotypes / other stereotypes related to your identity?

I have short fingernails and too many cats

28. what's a canon sapphic ship you enjoy?

Petra Solano x Jane Ramos, from Jane The Virgin. It wasn't the best written imo, BUT I'm just a huge Petra fan, and I was so happy to see her find gay love.

29. how about a non-canon sapphic ship?

Hinata Hyuga x Sakura Haruno from Naruto. I will die on this hill. They would be so soft and encouraging for each other. I used to be so fucking invested in this, it was all I would ever draw in my sketchbooks

30. who's your favorite sapphic character?

Anthy Himemiya. She's just. a kaleidoscope of trauma and love and bitterness. also, this isn't canon but I truly truly see Bev Keane from Midnight Mass as a lesbian. She just reminds me too much of myself when I was younger and I feel for her and I love her lots

31. LEAST favorite sapphic character?

Molly Bolt from Rubyfruit Jungle. I guess she's not that bad, but I just fucking hated this book

32. tell a funny story about something really gay you've done.

convinced myself I was in a queerplatonic relationship so that I wouldn't have to confront the fact I wasn't straight

33. do you get crushes/fall in love easily?

not really, I've only had a small handful of those experiences

34. who's a sapphic person you look up to? they can be someone in your life, a historical figure, a celebrity, etc!

Lady Gaga. She's so smart and so weird and so HERSELF. even when I disagree with something she does/says, I appreciate her sincerity and her gumption.

35. if you could tell your younger sapphic self anything, what would it be?

Girl you are allowed to trust your gut. Your feelings are holy, don't hold yourself hostage. If there is a God, and if he really is loving, he wouldn't want that for you.

[james-vi-stan-blog]

I‘m a bit confused about James sexuality tbh. I was convinced he was solely attracted to young men at first, but then I read somewhere that he also had female mistresses. How true is that?

This is one of those unknowable things. I can tell you what I know and my opinions. Cut for massive length as usual, I'M SORRY I CANT RESIST RAMBLING ABOUT JAMES

James was married to Anna of Denmark, and she had many pregnancies, so he was certainly performing regularly with her. He was said to be in love with her early in their marriage (though, he fell in love with her before they met, based on a portrait and letters in French -- and was also noted for being coldly hard-nosed in the dowry negotiations. So is this really ardently heterosexual behavior?) Their relationship fell apart very fast after James separated her from Henry Frederick and never really recovered to anything better than a friendly but cool alliance in their later years. Historians can use Anna's pregnancies as evidence of bisexuality, but there are a million examples in history of gay men marrying and fathering children. And you can't get away with just one. The more princes you have, the more spares (and many died); the princesses you have, the more marriage alliances.

One of James's defining characteristics is also his pompous self-image as "a good Christian [x]". A good king, a good father, and a good husband, even when he plainly was not. James boasted that he never kissed a single woman besides his wife and strongly disapproved of royal mistresses because of the threat that bastards pose to orderly succession. Therefore, I think it's very plausible than James's claims to love his wife, and his faithful performance, may have more to do with his self image of "good Christian husband" than his deep desires. In England he was clearly observed to be "not very uxorious", and he and the queen kept separate households and barely spoke or interacted.

A point in favor of James's actual bisexuality is that, while he had many male favorites before Carr, these relationships did not become that intense until Anna declared herself done with sex after a miscarriage -- in 1607, right before James fell head over heels for Carr.

There is one alleged mistress of James's, Anne Murray, based on a poem James wrote around the same time that rumors of his homosexuality were circulating because he had failed to impregnate Anna. If they actually had a relationship, then James was lying about only kissing Anna. (Which he totally could have been, and he totally could be hypocritical about kings keeping mistresses, as he was wildly hypocritical in many areas.)

But, when I first learned about this, I always wondered if the poem might have more to do with, again, James's self-image, as well as his attempts to create "an Athens of the North" at this time, to cultivate Scottish courtly culture -- and "poem to a mistress" is simply a genre. Actually, "poems about ANNE MURRAY" were themselves a micro-genre of the court at this time! So I don't know if this is proof of an actual relationship. I'm not the only one who thinks this. As @royalsandcourtiers put it, "the man wrote one poem referencing his love for ‘Lady Glammis’ and an entire love affair complete with sex has been assumed, and a mistress identified, from nothing more than these few words", while historians have long looked at the overwhelming evidence of James's love for men and explained it away as friendship.

Putting ahistorical labels on historical figures' sexualities is always fraught. I think, based on the evidence, the "safest guess" is that James was bisexual.

However, I actually read James as closer to homosexual. This is because his emotional life, romantic and passionate feelings, were overwhelmingly oriented towards men. Men captured his attentions, his feelings; he wept over men, he sacrificed for men, he whined for more intimacy at men. Women did not inspire these sorts of passions in him; his one for-sure heterosexual relationship is wrapped up in duty and performance, while his homosexual affairs are raw and discomfitingly corporeal to the courtiers watching him make out in public with his favorites. I have mentioned King James and the History of Homosexuality before, and to me it convincingly argues that James was not only queer, but recognized as queer by his contemporaries.

Of course we cannot know if he would self-identify as gay or anything else. We can't even know for sure that he did have sex with men! But I do map him as closer to gay than to bi.

[posi-pan]

(Okay so I tried to search your blog before asking this in case you’ve answered it before, but tumblr’s search is stupid and it wouldn’t work lol so sorry if you have already answered stuff like this!)

But I’m a little confused with something I keep seeing people talk about and I feel like you’re a good person to ask to explain this since 1. I trust your responses lol and 2. your answers are always simple and straightforward. What exactly is a bi/pan lesbian? And why do people dislike them so much?? Is the dislike warranted (like are they genuinely harmful etc?) or is it just more queerphobia? I’ve tried looking it up before but tbh every answer I read feels way too complicated for me to grasp it and it just makes me more confused. Are they just bi/pan with heavy preferences? Or is there a whole other explanation that I’m just not seeing/not understanding? I just really wanna understand, thank you in advance 🥺

so, thank you for thinking my answers are simple and straightforward. i usually feel like i’m making absolutely zero sense or being unnecessarily longwinded lmao. but yeah, i think i’ve posted something about this before, but nothing too detailed.

anyways. an mspec (either pan, bi omni, ply, etc.) lesbian is someone who uses both an mspec label and the lesbian label. there are a lot of different reasons why someone might self-identify this way. some of those reasons include:

being attracted to women and nonbinary people (this isn’t saying people attracted to women and nonbinary folks can’t be lesbians. it’s one way of acknowledging nonbinary doesn’t mean “basically woman” and lesbian attraction can include more than one gender)

being mspec-sexual and homoromantic or mspec-romantic and homosexual (this is a use of the split attraction model, and saying you’re, for example, “bisexual homoromantic” or “biromantic homosexual” is a bit more of a mouthful than bi lesbian)

using the historic definition of lesbian (lesbian was an umbrella term for all women attracted to women before it became known as exclusive attraction to women due to lesbian separatism)

being unsure if you’re mspec or lesbian and trying out both labels

being attracted largely to women with very rare attraction to men

i’m sure there are other experiences amongst mspec lesbians, but these are just off the top of my head.

the “discourse” surrounding mspec lesbians (and mspec gays) is entirely new and queerphobic. this identity has existed for decades without issue. women have been identifying as bi lesbians for a long time. one of the more historic uses of it that isn’t very common now is that it represented women who were attracted to men and women, but socially were only involved in women/lesbian spaces, or were only interested in having relationships with women. it had more to do with the combination of their sexual and political identities.

people hate the identity so much because they don’t understand it and honestly, don’t want to. many people have been sent sources on it and they just ignore it. they have decided it’s somehow harming “real” lesbians and that’s that. they don’t want to learn otherwise.

they bring up the argument that the identity says lesbians can like men, which one) one person’s identity doesn’t say anything about someone else’s and two) some lesbians do like men. that’s just a fact. and always has been. there have always been lesbians who were attracted to and involved with men.

they also bring up the argument of if lesbians can like men, what do we call people who are only attracted to women (and sometimes some nonbinary people), and the answer is always, whatever those individuals want to be called. labels don’t exist for us to apply to others. they exist for us to claim for ourselves and give meaning to based on our personal experiences and feelings.

but yeah, this identity isn’t harming anyone. it has never harmed anyone. it’s simply a different way of good faith self-identification. if that’s how someone makes sense of their identity, which is not clear cut, black and white for everyone, then why does it matter? how is someone using a historic queer identity harm anyone? it doesn’t. queerphobes just fell for assimilationism and hate their own community when they queer in a way that’s different or confusing.

i think i covered most things on this topic. here are some links if you’re interested in some further reading:

carrd with sources and info on mspec lesbians

tumblr with sources and info on bi lesbians

thread of sources on mspec lesbians/gays

thread of historic examples of bi lesbians/gays (this one is by me!)

post of historic examples of bi lesbians/gays (this one is also by me!)

i hope this helps you better understand! i feel like i wasn’t as clear as i could’ve been. please feel free to ask more questions if you have them!

[havingsomemorejohnlarks]

how far cry 5 characters would react if a group of adults yelled “gay boy” at them as an insult

Faith - confused staring until whoever yelled it just stops laughing, because her staring is unnerving. Then she just slowly shakes her head, still staring, and then moves on with her day

John - immediately starts preening, and then begins to flirt as if they were trying to get into his pants

Jacob - rolls his eyes, says something witty and sarcastic, something I’m too tired and stupid to come up with on the spot. If he’s feeling particularly agitated that day, he might end up making them cry, one way or another. Jacob finds a way

Joseph - wrinkles his nose in some sort of discomfort, but then launches into a very long speech about discrimination and labelling in society, and then makes them listen to it until they’re crying and begging him to shut up. same joseph tbh

Kim Rye - gets angry, and immediately starts yelling back, something like “your dad would know” and throwing her shoes at them until they run away with terror

Nick Rye - nervously chuckles and tries to explain that he is straight but accepts people for who they are

Jess Black - genuinely considers the label and accepts it with a satisfied nod, and just moves on

Grace Armstrong - shakes her head in disappointment and says something like “as dumb as kids, they’ll learn”

Staci Pratt - starts giving them a public dressing down, packed with salt and sass, gathering a crowd, and makes sure they are all red in the face with embarrassment by the end of it

The Deputy (my deputy ❤️): he’s half filled with gender euphoria-induced happiness, but also terror of hate crime. But he will either stick his middle finger up as he walks by without even looking (he’s in a rush sometimes, bless him), or more likely because he’s an extreme dude who loves to set an example, casually whip out his pocket knife and play with it as he walks by, throwing it up in the air and catching it perfectly, looking them dead in the eye with the most wildest look on his face

[firelxdykatara]

Hello! I say this in the kindest way possible, but can you please provide evidence that theowelspeaks is a terf? I'm a black zutara shipper and for years have really felt shoved by the fandom and it hasn't been my safe space. But YOUR blog and you made me feel better. I'm not in your discord but you're being accused of racism. I don't follow the owlspeaks and wanna support you but if you're being accused of racism why are you calling someone a terf?

Can you please show where they are a terf? I'm only asking this because I really REALLY love you and I support you. And if they are a terf, you need to provide evidence. It is heavily suspicious when a person of color calls out a white woman on racism and you don't address the accusations but just call them a terf. I want to support you I really do because you made me feel comfortable in the fandom, but I need to see concrete evidence that they're a terf. Never mind, I saw the whole situation and honestly I'm disgusted I ever follow or looked up to you. You're literally no different from other racist white shippers. I think there went my love for zutara.

I'm going to take this at face value--not that, on any real level, I actually believe you were a follower of mine or did anything close to due diligence, because if you were or had then you would know that I never actually called that blogger a terf--and answer as respectfully as I can. Mostly because I want anyone who has genuine issues with anything I've said or done to know that despite whatever's going around about me right now, I am willing to listen to criticism if it comes from a place of good faith.

(You can think whatever you want about my insistence on 'good faith', but the fact is that I have weathered being slammed with accusations of pedophilia and other horrible things over differences in headcanon of shit like character ages or writing a fic set years post-canon because I felt like it, right down to the insistence that I'm a horrible racist because of my url, so no. I'm not going to listen to someone slinging slurs and buzzwords in my inbox just because they claim to be a poc. And before that sets anyone off, the slurs I'm talking about are aimed at my queerness. I do not consider being called racist or a white bitch or whatever slurs, because they aren't.)

First of all, once again, I never called that blogger a terf. You can easily read my post about them for yourself and see that--ctrl+F for the term 'terf', and you will not find it. Why? Because I called them out on peddling radfem rhetoric, (which they are) not for being a terf. All terfs are radfems--it's in the name--but not all radfems are terfs, although all radfem rhetoric is exceptionally harmful to queer people in general, and queer poc more than most, as is the nature of intersectionality.

Anti-kink rhetoric, and the insistence that some kink is inherently harmful and that no one could legitimately have these kinks or fetishes without being mentally ill or traumatized, is radfem rhetoric. That's where it comes from, that's where it leads to, and I'll be honest here, 'radfem' is not an identity label. It's an ideology. You do not get to parrot core tenets of that ideology and then claim to not be a radfem. That simply isn't how this works.

Furthermore, I have no idea who the person behind theowlspeaks blog is. I will take them at their word that they are not white, but that doesn't exactly narrow things down--and considering the fact that they chose to put me on blast for their small but dedicated ring of followers rather than actually coming to me personally first about any of this (their blog is very obviously a burner, and it wouldn't have been that difficult to approach me since I've only ever turned anon off once, for one night to give myself some breathing room, and otherwise my asks and DMs have always been open), I have no reason to actually care about what they're saying. But I point out the lack of knowledge of their identity because a) they didn't even reveal themselves as not white until.... yesterday? or something, when they were directly asked about it, and b) trying to frame this as 'white woman accused of racism calls person of color a terf' is... disingenuous at best given the fact that I have been calling them a radfem (which they are) since well before they posted that screenshot and my name wound up on their blog, so you got the order of events just a little backwards.

I blocked them initially because of the radfem rhetoric they were peddling about kink and fetishes, and I have the right to establish that boundary. This blog is for me, it is my space, and I do not have to expose myself to views I find gross or harmful just because they dress it up in faux-woke terminology and try to pretend they actually care.

If they cared about real people more than the fictional characters they are so adamantly 'protecting', then they wouldn't have brushed off the actual racism (from one of their followers--they're more than happy to blast me without any evidence, but that's hardly out of the ordinary for people like that) that was brought to their attention by refocusing the discussion on the fake people who literally can't be hurt by any of this because they don't exist. They wouldn't be ignoring the two woc who chose to contact them and tell them why they made the choices they did regarding both the discord and the smut week event, while being perfectly happy to platform anons who may or may not be who or what they say they are.

I, for one, am not going to apologize for caring more about real people than fictional characters. I'm not going to apologize for thinking it's absolutely ludicrous to pretend that fiction is somehow harmful just by existing, especially when it's appropriately tagged so that anyone who finds the content harmful can avoid it. I'm not going to back down from these opinions just because a handful of people have apparently decided I'm a horrible person because of it. And I'm certainly not going to apologize for thinking it's despicable that someone who was not involved in the conversation chose to leak out of context screenshots rather than privately contacting any of the people involved or even going to any of the mods, before going right to an anonymous blog. You may not care about me or my mental health, but I had panic attacks because of that leak--not because I said anything untoward in that screenshot, not because I've ever said anything in that discord that I wouldn't happily stand behind on my blog, but because I no longer felt safe. And I am not going to bare my trauma to a complete stranger to justify that lmfao.

So, like, think what you want to. I'm pretty sure that blogger is getting high off of the drama they are creating, none of which would actually have happened or been any real issue if more people were able to think, gee, maybe this work that is tagged with things I don't want to read about is not for me! Maybe I shouldn't read this piece, since it would probably upset me, and there's plenty others around for me to consume! I do not trust that blogger's intentions. I do not trust that they actually give a shit about any real people, or they wouldn't have posted an out of context screenshot of... literally nothing tbh, when they had no right to and are now protecting the identity of the person who leaked them instead of giving a shit about any of the real people in that space who no longer feel safe because we aren't sure who we can't trust.

But you've already made up your mind, and I can't change that. I genuinely hope you have a nice life, and find fandom spaces more suited to your tastes.

[carpisuns]

Here I am for Carpisuns Appreciation Week! Your art is amazing, your writing is amazing, you're so kind and inspiring and comforting, thank you for gracing our fandom with your self. It's amazing how much content you create and how consistently you make me smile.

But I also wanted to thank you for something more personal to me: mentioning that you're a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints in your blog description. It probably seems small--it almost feels stupid to say it--but seeing that one line helped me so much. I was feeling very conflicted over my identity as both a Mormon and an ally (I now know I'm actually ace, but that happened later), because I saw so much homophobia in our church and it made me ashamed. I felt like I had to choose one side of me, and I hated that. Seeing a kind member who isn't just an ally, but openly LGBTQ+, made me so happy. It reassured me that I can be both at once, and I can be proud of both parts of myself.

So thank you. Thank you for being brave and living a contradiction that I long feared wasn't an option. Thank you for teaching me that we aren't contradictions. Even if it might have seemed small to you, even if it didn't take the courage it took for me, thank you. You're amazing.

It's so late here and I'm so emotional at night and I'll probably regret this in the morning but I just had to say thank you. So thank you.

Thank you for your kind words. They mean a lot 💜

I’m going to put the rest of this under a cut for people who would rather not read about religion haha. I was going to answer on priv but in case this would be helpful to anyone else in a similar boat I decided to post on main

I’m so happy to hear the effect my bio had on you. Tbh it did take courage, but it was important to me to have both of those parts of my identity side by side. When I was younger, I wasn’t very open about my faith because religion is something so deeply personal and also divisive, depending on who’s around you. And I hate conflict so I just wanted to avoid it at all costs, haha. But eventually decided that my faith was too important to hide like that. I thought, if I’m going to put a few words up there to introduce myself, it just doesn’t feel right to not mention it. My belief in Jesus Christ and my commitment to follow Him in many ways defines who I am as a person. So I decided years ago to put it in my bio and have always felt good about that. I’m not here to shove religion in anyone’s face or preach at them or judge them or anything like that—I’m just saying, “This is me and it’s important to me.”

As for the bi part, that is a lot more recent haha. It’s almost embarrassing that I didn’t identify as bi until I was 25, but the comphet is strong lol. I think it took me a lot longer to realize/accept my attraction to women because I am still attracted to men, so I can “pass” as straight and always assumed I was, and it was easy enough for a while to brush aside or repress or misinterpret my same-sex attraction. I questioned for years before I finally decided to try out the label “bisexual” in my head. And it felt right to me. It felt good to be honest about that part of myself. I am still not out to the public or the rest of my family, but I’ve told a few close friends and I wanted to at least be able to be open about it in my separate online spaces, to get more comfortable with the label as I figure out how to handle it with people I actually know IRL. But mostly I wanted to add those two extra letters to my bio because I feel like it’s important for other people to see them next to the name of the Church—and important to me most of all. To remind myself, yes, I can be openly bi and a faithful member of the Church. Those two things aren’t mutually exclusive. I am still committed to the teachings of the gospel, so I will not pursue relationships with women, but I can still be open about my experience and supportive of my LGBTQ siblings both inside and outside of my faith. I find it pretty freeing to be bi on the outside and not just inside my own head, you know? I’m not sure how it goes for other people but a lot of my early experience was wondering if I was faking it or tricking myself into thinking I was bi for attention or something. But literally why would I do that lol. This in-between space of being queer and a member of the Church has not been an easy place to live, but I’m trying to make a home here and I’d like to invite others too if I can.

And I guess that’s another reason it’s important to be open about both things. As I’ve been learning more about myself and my relationship with others and the Church and the world as a bi person, I’ve come to really crave a space where I can feel comfortable and open with both of those aspects of my identity—my queerness and my religious faith. I haven’t really found a space yet that supports both. Generally in queer-positive spaces, religion is (very understandably) a point of contention and pain, and I get why, as a Christian/Latter-day Saint, I may not be welcome to everyone in that space. But then within the Church and other Christian spaces, I have a hard time finding support or understanding at all. People don’t want to talk about it. They don’t know how. I think to some people in either space, my existence doesn’t really make sense lol. Like, how can you say you’re bi if you’re a member of the Church? Or how can you be queer and stay in that church? But I’m here and my experience is real and I know I’m not the only one. So part of my reason is to say to others like me, “Hey, me too. You’re not alone.” And I’m really really glad that it could speak to you that way.

For many years before I realized I was bi, I was drawn to the LGBTQ community and felt a desire to be an ally. I just didn’t know how. I felt like I had to walk some kind of line and support but not be too supportive, to love but not too much. But I’m not here to put limits on my love anymore. I don’t think that is what Jesus Christ taught. I am making the choice to stay committed to the teachings of the gospel, and I hope people respect that because it’s important to me. But other people will choose differently from me, and that’s okay and I will still love them and we will still be part of something together.

Sorry to say so much about this haha especially since as an ace person your experience is not quite the same as mine. But I have a few close friends who are ace and are also members of the Church and the space we’ve shared has been incredibly meaningful for me. I’m grateful you reached out and I hope my rambling helps you somewhat haha. If you ever want to chat, please feel free to message me! 💜