#not the ones who have not opened the game in 24 years bc they just move from blender to s4s then chuck it on patreon as fast as possible

[sojutrait]

as ridiculous and cartoonishly greedy it is to be selling .obj files, if you still choose to join those ppls patreons you deserve to get scammed bc come on now 😭😭 that is BONKERS

[de4dlyniightshade]

I’d really just like to request your most feral Spencer Reid headcanons. SFW, NSFW, raunchy, tame - whatever. Just your like “I will fight anyone who disagrees, they are fact” type headcanons.

(Because I reread all your headcanons and love every single one)

I BEEN WAITING ON SOMEONE ASKING THIS! i've also just been meaning to make a hc post.

i was gonna split them into nsfw and sfw but they just ended up all mixed together 0-0

submissive and breedable spencer truther til i fucking die i'll get him pregnant don't play with me.

loves messy kisses like spit running down his chin, tongues down each others throat, desperately gripping at each other type of kisses.

maybe just me projecting and taking what mgg said as gospel truth but i fully believe that spencer loves a curvy woman, not even just for sexual reasons he also loves to rest his head on a nice big pair of boobs or thighs.

speaking of, boob guy! shamefully, but still a boob guy! adores groping your boobs whenever he can and would have your boob in his mouth 24/7 if he could, has literally fallen asleep with his head under your shirt and your nipple in his mouth.

munch! like the biggest munch ever, loves nothing more than coming home from a long day and burying his face between your thighs or having you ride his face.

knows full well that toys are his teammate and not his competitors and has no insecurities about you using toys on yourself or owning any.

does not care how well groomed you are, if you asked him what he preferred he'd be like??? it's literally none of my business???

needs lots of reassurance during sex, he just likes to know that he's doing good and making you feel good throughout the whole thing.

doesn't like talking about his sex life, especially with derek, no matter how hard he pressed and pries spencer wont let anything but the bare minimum out.

i imagine he's more drawn to a commanding woman, someone who will take the lead and teach him because of his inexperience and finds that he actually loves being dominated and hardly has any desire to dominate you.

really vocal! even though i've already said it like twice he just is, i can feel it in my bones, he's just such a whiny little baby and can't help but moan loudly any time you're touching him.

is completely against the idea of road head until you do it while you're on a long drive and it both changes his life and almost ends it bcs he swerved into the other lane which was luckily empty.

still gets shy when you kiss him in front even the team even years down the line.

learns to cook so he can make you breakfast whenever you're staying at his apartment.

on the same lines, lovesss morning sex, just that feeling of not wanting to get out your warm bed into the cold air, savouring the warmth in the best way possible.

had no idea what queefing was real until it happened and he was like genuinely so fascinated rather than disgusted.

i feel like spencer would own a bird for sure, not just bcs of gideon but he did help him realise how cool birds are which made him get one, probably a cockatiel or parrotlet with some silly name like dave.

all bark, no bite. likes to act a big game in front of others but the second you're alone he's begging and calling you mommy.

loves nothing more than waking up before you, pressing a kiss to your forehead before carefully and quietly getting out of bed to make you breakfast with the intention of bringing it to you but when you wake up before him and sneak up behind him to wrap your arms around his waist he can't help but melt.

very open to experimenting further down the line, anything you want to try he'll try at least once, except for blindfolds on himself, would be completely open to blindfolding you though.

loves public touching, not outright sex but he'd love when you subtly brush your hand over his crotch or take a handful of his ass in a public place.

teaches you how to knit and cries when you actually make him something like a sweater or even just a hat bcs he realises that's why you wanted to learn in the first place.

can't ride a bike.(this is definitely me projecting bcs i can't but i just feel like he can't okay)

lana enjoyer!!! especially if you are, he just wants to understand all the things you love and if you love lana so does he, he'd love to hear you ramble about your favourite songs and would take note of them and listen to them asap and tell you he loves them even if he didn't like some that much bcs he loves how happy it makes you.

wouldn't want to introduce you to his mother too soon but if you ended up meeting her by chance he'd be sweating buckets in case you didn't get along but you two just bond over your adoration for him and he's just so happy about it.

probably took a while to warm up to physical touch in the beginning bcs of his germophobia but when he finally does he regrets not doing it sooner.

washes his hands every single time before touching you sexually, not even for his benefit, he just wants to be as safe as possible with you.

loves elvis and almost proposes on the spot when you offer to dance with him to can't help falling in love, secretly sheds a few tears while you waltz around his apartment in your pyjamas.

okay i've definitely left stuff out that i've thought of but this is long asf so i'll leave it there😭

[starsandhughes]

Penalty Box Series— Trevor Zegras Edition (Two)

23-24 Season Masterlist

previous: one

next: three

a/n so i def posted this then deleted it bc i hated it bc i wrote it in the 1-3am range… and now i’m writing it again in that range… fingers crossed!

i’m sorry this is short!

OCTOBER 15, 2023

yourusername

liked by trevorzegras, jamie.drysdale, and 16,611 others

yourusername welcome back to my post game penalty box update show, céline dion fans and non-céline dion fans! tonight was the ducks home opener and it was a doozy!

first i want to address that my lil quackies have now won their home opener 8 years in a row and are now 20-9-1 in their 30 year history for home openers! and if you’re like me and ✨love✨ stats, then you’ll be thrilled to learn that mr. frank “the tank” vatrano is the FIRST DUCK EVER TO SCORE A HAT TRICK IN THE HOME OPENER! shoutout to mason, who passed frankie the puck so that he could score the empty netter for the hatty, and made me cry at how sweet he was! (yes, they got good job forehead kisses because i love them soooo much!)

now, on to the fun stuff that you’re all here for! my future husband and baby daddy got his first penalty tonight, and oooo lordy, he looked fine! seriously, like, you think you all were freaking out about how hot he was in the box? imagine how i feel! he’s coming home to me!

his penalty was for “holding the stick” against aho (queue the boos) he did not agree with the penalty and made sure to scoff at the refs so that they knew they made a ridiculous call (i legally have to be on his side)

but get this— the penalty was called 11 seconds into z’s shift, it was the 6th official power play for the canes! we love! (we don’t love that it resulted in a c*nes goal though)

what was my favorite part of the game, you ask? it was the scrum, of course! my mans tried his best in holding back pesce, but he really just clung onto him as he got dragged around the scrum because he… is pocket sized compared to pesce. the 9th photo is of z clinging onto him from behind. i imagine pesce’s inner monologue was like “if the child will not move off me, then i shall move with the child. i am undeterred by the diminutive boy.”

ANYHOOZLE, i’m so proud of my boys! especially jamie baby, who now has back to back assists! this is your reputation era, jd! i love you endlessly <3

and to my z-baby, i’m perpetually proud of you and i’m sure you’ll do something productive soon! i love you, always💜 (and you look hot as fuck in purple) (you should buy more purple)

(p.s. did you all really think i’d only post one pic of my mans in the box when he looked that hot in it tonight? guess again! post two coming soon!)

tagged trevorzegras

view all 277 comments

trevorzegras i can’t tell if i was attacked or loved more in the post but i love you, forever, my sweet girl! (i’ll buy more purple) (i’m not pocket sized! or diminutive! at all! that’s quinn!)

yourusername i’d like to think i had an even balance of love and bullying<3 (you are compared to a 6’4 man!) (quintin’s gonna kill you and i’m going to have to let him)

trevorzegras he wouldn’t dare kill his future brother-in-law! and i’m going to be a the dad to his nieces/newphews/both!

_quinnhughes @/trevorzegras count your days, zegras

trevorzegras @_quinnhughes THEN YOUR SISTER WON’T HAVE A FATHER FOR HER KIDS!

_quinnhughes @/trevorzegras she has options

trevorzegras @_quinnhughes no? she doesn’t?

_quinnhughes @/jamie.drysdale would you be the dad to sissy’s kids if i kill trevor?

jamie.drysdale @_quinnhughes of course

_quinnhughes @/trevorzegras see? options!

yourusername @/jamie.drysdale aw, jamie baby! i’m gonna cry!

trevorzegras @/yourusername HE IS NOT GOING TO BE THE DAD TO OUR TWINS

yourusername @/trevorzegras FINE

user76 you’re so real for knowing all of us were acting whoreish over him in the box

yourusername this house is pro whore!

user14 “mwah!” -z in the 5th pic

jamie.drysdale i love YOU endlessly! so happy to have my own professional cheerleader back this year

yourusername wym “back”??? i never stopped being your cheerleader! i’m offended at best

colecaufield @/yourusername i would never do that to you

jamie.drysdale @/colecaufield you’re just mad that quinn asked me to be the dad to the twins

trevorzegras @/colecaufield @.jamie.drysdale I’M THE DAD! I’M THE FATHER! I’M THE BABY DADDY!

yourusername @/trevorzegras wow… jealous much?

colecaufield @/trevorzegras it’s hypothetical! if quinn kills you, then it should be me! i’m best friend number two!

jamie.drysdale @/colecaufield but she wouldn’t have to move if it’s me!

yourusername @/matthew_tkachuk congrats! if quinn kills trevor, you get to raise the twins with me as their dad!

matthew_tkachuk @/yourusername do you want your own room? or just the nursery and you can sleep with me?

yourusername @/matthew_tkachuk we can share the bed!

trevorzegras @/yourusername @.matthew_tkachuk NO

jamie.drysdale @/yourusername NO FAIR

colecaufield @/yourusername RUDE!

yourusername @/matthew_tkachuk 10 minutes ago, i lost my dear fiancé, trevor

trevorzegras @/yourusername I’M NOT ACTUALLY DEAD

yourusername @/matthew_tkachuk sometimes i can still hear his voice

matthew_tkachuk @/yourusername i’m sorry for your loss

yourusername @/matthew_tkachuk i’m not

trevorzegras @/yourusername divorce.

yourusername @/trevorzegras we can’t get a divorce if i’m a widow

trevorzegras @/yourusername ghost divorce.

user12 HE’S SO CUTE AHH

colecaufield @/trevorzegras wrong 22, bitch

trevorzegras @/colecaufield all’s fair in love and war

yourusername @/trevorzegras i don’t think you used that correctly

colecaufield @/trevorzegras so you admit to cheating?!

trevorzegras @/colecaufield no? there was a war i had to stop, and i love you! i didn’t “cheat”

yourusername @/trevorzegras you definitely didn’t use that correctly

user32 this game was everything to me

user4 Z’S HAIR IN THE 8THE PIC🥵😭

jackhughes @/trevorzegras i can’t believe the father of my future nieces/nephews/both is a criminal…

trevorzegras @/jackhughes you’re one to talk!

jackhughes @/trevorzegras that’s not the point!

_quinnhughes @/trevorzegras @/jackhughes @.lhughes_06 i’m the only one of us that’s not a criminal! none of you should get to see the babies!

yourusername @_quinnhughes i love you so much but trevor is screaming and *i’m* about to kill you

lhughes_06 @_quinnhughes you pissed off the princess

trevorzegras @_quinnhughes has she ever threatened your death?

_quinnhughes @/trevorzegras i don’t think so

jackhughes @_quinnhughes you REALLY pissed off the princess

user47 “i legally have to be on his side” that’s true love baby!

_quinnhughes @/trevorzegras the war begins

trevorzegras @_quinnhughes you're at 2 games?

_quinnhughes @/trevorzegras 2 more than you

yourusername war! war! war! war!

_alexturcotte war! war! war! war!

yourusername @_alexturcotte you? you get me

_quinnhughes @_alexturcotte @/yourusername heathens

yourusername @_quinnhughes you quite literally started this war

trevorzegras @_quinnhughes heathen

user62 Z IS SO CUTE AHH

_alexturcotte céline dion? are you 60?

yourusername i love her

trevorzegras @_alexturcotte what can i say? i love me an older woman

yourusername @/trevorzegras if you have a mommy kink, just say so

jamie.drysdale @/yourusername WHY

yourusername @/jamie.drysdale i just want to make my mans happy! i love him!

trevorzegras @/yourusername forever?

yourusername @/trevorzegras always💜

yourusername

liked by trevorzegras, jackhughes, and 11,341 others

yourusername soooo..... i couldn't just pick 8 pictures... and then i couldn't just pick 17 pictures... so here's 26 more pictures for a grand total of 34 (not including the penalty count)!

enjoy pictures of:

-z looking unreasonably hot in the penalty box

-z looking unreasonably hot in his plum carpet fit

-his many faces during games

-z attacking aho (#JusticeForJack)

-the scrum turn into a conga line

-jamie baby in his plum carpet fit (he also looks very good! both my boys were in blue <3)

-jamie baby's faces during the game

-jamie baby playing volleyball with the puck

with love,

sissy🤍

tagged trevorzegras and jamie.drysdale

jamie.drysdale NO

_quinnhughes @/jamie.drysdale welcome to the club! i’m so sorry

trevorzegras @/jamie.drysdale it could be worse

yourusername no one is safe🫶 ever💜

jamie.drysdale @/yourusername i thought you loved me

yourusername @/jamie.drysdale this is how i show love

jackhughes @/jamie.drysdale you should've known this was coming

jamie.drysdale @/jackhughes i thought i’d be safe since i didn't get a penalty

colecaufield @/jamie.drysdale good thing you don't get paid for thinking

user3 I'M LOSING MY MIND AT THE CONGA LINE

user46 oh i’m drooling

trevorzegras not all of these pictures are bad ones of me and i’m taking that as a win! i love you, forever💜

yourusername i know! aren't i the sweetest? (i love you, always)

trevorzegras i don't call you my sweet girl for nothing!

jackhughes @/yourusername he's lying to you

yourusername @/jackhughes die.

trevorzegras soooo sweet💜

lhughes_06 @/jamie.drysdale just wait til you get your own post

jamie.drysdale @/lhughes_06 you and jack didn't get one and you two got penalties!

yourusername @/jamie.drysdale i was mad at them at the time!

jamie.drysdale @/yourusername be mad at me

yourusername @/jamie.drysdale never.

yourusername @/lhughes_06 p.s. congratulations on losing your nhl penalty virginity!

lhughes_06 @/yourusername why are you like this?

yourusername @/lhughes_06 to make your life more interesting

lhughes_06 @/yourusername my life is interesting!

yourusername @/lhughes_06 you're welcome!

[smoshyourheadin]

Maybe u could do a Spencer besties to lovers? Like they've known each other a long time yk

Thankssss no pressure if ur busy ofc <3

It’s Always Been You

cw: reader has a boyf who she breaks up w bc he’s an alchaholic!! don’t read if you aren’t comfortable, i’ll catch you another time ml 💛

a/n: EEK IM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG THANK YOU FOR BEING PATIENT ANON 🫶🫶💛💛 also im taking this as smosh spence not cm spence so feel free to re-request if you’d like <33 ps, ive written that he listens to pink floyd here so thats who syd barrett is if you don’t know :))

requests r open!!

///

pairing: spencer agnew x fem!reader

florida, 2002

you and spencer were scurrying around in the freshly mown grass of his backyard, playing tag.

“you didn’t get me, you cheated!” you exclaim, ducking as he reaches out to get you again, tumbling to the floor.

“did too!” spencer retorts, his grazed knees dropping to the floor so he can lean over you. he meets your eyes, pulls a tongue, and hoists himself back up to run to his tyre swing.

all 11 years you’d known, you’d known them with spencer. your moms had been great friends since way before you were born, being in the same book club. or was it an art night? you didn’t exactly know, but you did know that because your moms were best friends, so were you and spencer.

as you sprung back up to your feet, your moms watched your antics through the kitchen window.

“whoever can swing the other the highest gets to have the last red popsicle!” he yelled as you ran over

“oh you’re so on!”

your hands gripped the tyre and you pushed like your life depended on it.

“y’know,” your mom said “one day, they’re going to end up together.”

his mom looked over at yours and smiled,

“i’d be surprised if they didnt honestly.”

los angeles, 2024

you walk through the door of your apartment, and you kick the door closed behind you. your bag slides off your shoulder, and you throw your keys onto the dresser next to the door. you only manage a long groan before flopping onto the couch.

“heya, charlie!” you scrunch your face up as you feel your dog’s cold, wet nose press against your cheek, as he gently wags his tail

“i missed you too boy, work was so tiring today.” you work at smosh with spencer, and have done for the past seven years after you left your job at another channel to join him. it was basically the best decision you’d ever made, every day filled with laughs; practically just a 24/7 hangout. you work with spencer on smosh games, but rarely ever go on camera, even if spencer’s there. you enjoy it anyway though.

you sit up and scratch behind his ears. he wiggles his body contently at your fondness. and then your stomach growls. it made sense, it was currently 6:43pm, and you last ate at noon, so you get up and drag yourself to make some mac n cheese.

as the pasta boils your phone starts ringing.

it’s james.

rubbing your hands over your face, you answer the dreaded call from your boyfriend james.

“heyyy~ sweetheart, y’doin okay? you were hic bein’ a bit of a bitch today, didnt answer my calls, what, you hate me or sumn?” he rambles, most of his words just slurring off.

“james, are you drinking again?” your voice is agitated, hearing the chattering and the low bass of a bar in the background.

you know he has a problem, and you’ve tried to get him to stop so many times. but you just can’t. he just won’t take your help.

“wha- i mean- well- no- but um- well y’r just gonna be mad at me like y’allways are” he stammers, not wanting to tell you the truth.

“no, i’m done with this. you say all this to me when you’re drunk, and then act like everything is fine! i’m sick of it! you spend so much time at the bar, and its the only place we ever go on dates, and i just end up babysitting you! so yeah i am mad! but for the last time! fuck you james.”

you hang up.

you start to tear up, the knot in your chest tight as your emotions come rushing to you, face heating up as tears begin to fall. the hissing of something behind you snaps you out of it.

“shit!” you rush over to to your stove, where the water from your pasta spills over the sides, the flames licking at the bottom of the pan.you take it off the heat and turn it off. it looks done anyway. you add some butter, and, of course, cheese. stirring gently, you sob.

james was so nice to you, always showering you with gifts and praise and love. but it was all for nothing. he just didn’t love you like he loved drinking in the end.

pouring the mac n cheese into a bowl, you call spencer.

“hey lemon! how’s my favourite person this fine evening?” you smile at the nickname.

florida, 2007

“spencer, you’re a boy. why are you so complicated? i mean, its just annoying!” you walk into his bedroom after his mom let you in, clearly pissed off. being 16 isn’t fun, especially when boys you like are rude to you.

“what did he do?” spencer doesn’t look up from his computer, just slightly turn his head.

“he said that i must eat lemons because of how bitter i am. i mean come on!” you lie on his bed and watch him play runescape.

“lemon… hmph” he just smiles and continues whatever he was doing on his game.

“what? nothing to say? ugh! you suuuuuck!”

los angeles, 2024

“yeah, i mean, no. i broke up with james.” you sniffle, and eat a forkfull of your food, elbows resting on the cold marble of the kitchen island.

“i mean- um- yeah thats horrible…” he says

“you’re allowed to celebrate, i know you hated him. and so did everyone. but still. im fragile right now!” you giggle through your gentle tears

“well, i mean, honestly? glad he’s gone. he sucked dude. not sure why you didn’t do it sooner. well, one positive to come of this, your pillows won’t stink of beer next time i nap at yours!” he replies, clearly happy for you.

“yeah,” you chuckle at the memory of spencer falling asleep on your bed, then completing his hair smelt like budweiser “that is true.”

“all seriousness though, are you okay?” his voice is genuine this time, filled with concern.

“no, not really. it’s just… different i guess. but, not much has changed y’know? like, it already felt like he wasn’t my boyfriend anymore…” you begin to ramble for at least 20 minutes, only to be met with the occasional ‘mhmn’ and ‘yeah’ from spencer. mid sentence, there’s a knock at your door.

“oh one sec, someone’s here.” you get up from your table and swing the door open to see a very sympathetic looking spencer, two target bags in his hands.

your jaw is on the floor. you were just crying to him over the phone, and he’d stayed whilst going out to get what you can only assume is things like sour patch kids and vanilla ice cream, which you could see at the top of the bag. your favourites.

“girls night?” he smirked and raised the bags at his sides.

all you can do is smile ear to ear, and wrap him in a tight hug. he leaned into you, basking in your sweet citrusy perfume.

“you’re my favourite, spencie.” you say into his shoulder.

as you both walk inside, charlie comes bounding over to spencer, his favourite person.

“who’s a good boy! charlie is!” spencer was now crouchedby your kitchen island, fussing over your dog as you walked to put on something more comfortable. you slid on some track pants and an old atari hoodie. walking back into your kitchen, spencer has unpacked the bags, and is creating his favourite conconction, The Agnew Sundae. basically the most sickeningly sweet ice cream ever. his dad made it for you both in the summer, and it consisted of:

vanilla ice cream

chocolate syrup

caramel sauce

whipped cream

sprinkles

mini marshmallows

chocolate chips

m&ms

and some crushed oreos to finish.

god, you know you’re going to regret this later, but boy was it a good way to cheer you up.

also strewn on the counter was his switch and copy of animal crossing, a few of his dvd’s for you to watch, and his mom’s chocolate chip cookies.

“spencer, how on earth did you get these? your mom lives across the country!” you hold up the baggie, and raise an eyebrow.

he looks up from his ice cream assembly station, and smirks.

“a magician never- ow!”

you cut him off by lightly jabbing his arm

“okay okay, she visited not to long ago - when she took you to the mall? and she gave me these to freeze and keep for an important event. i think she’d agree this is important.” you cant help but smile at his remark. you missed you moms.

“i’ll have to ring her later to thank her.” you say.

the night goes on, and you and spencer sit on the couch under a blanket watching barbie princess charm school. because what else are you going to watch?

as the movie goes on, and the effects of the agnew sundae kick in; you were dozing off on his shoulder. towards the end of the movie, so does he. he drifts off, comforted by your soft hair occasionally brushing against his face.

you stir awake, the sun beaming into your eyes through your semi-open blinds, and you’re hit by a wave of memory. everything that happened last night comes flooding back.

james’ call.

spencer’s call.

spencer showing up for you.

at the latter, you smile slightly. you prop yourself up on the sofa, and notice the absence of spencer’s warmth by you. frowning slightly, you walk into the kitchen.

“morning sleepyhead” his sweet voice rings through the room

“hey. i thought you’d’ve gone home”

“no, im not that mean! who do you take me for?” he retorts, his attention turning back to the pancakes on the stove.

“pancakes? what time is it?” you come up behind him, putting your chin on his shoulder.

“yeah, and it’s about 10:30.” he leant his head on yours, flipping one. you had to admit, they look pretty good.

“10:30!?” you lift you head in surprise, looking at your phone “shouldn’t we be in work?”

“nope, i called us in sick. said my mom was having surgery. which she is, but i made it sound dramatic so we could stay off.” he looks at you, and smiles slightly.

“well, send her my love! i think i’ll go get dressed now.” he hummed, and you left the room.

opening your closet, you pick out a yellow baggy t-shirt and some grey sweatpants. you pull on some fluffy socks, and slip on a zip up hoodie. walking back out into the living room, spencer walks in with two plates piled high with pancakes, drenched in syrup and strawberries

“so,” you say, a fork full of pancakes in your mouth. “whats the plan for today?”

he looks over at you, and shrugs slightly. “not sure, we could go to the book store you like?”

“ah, you know the way to a girl’s heart“ you put a hand over your chest and giggle a bit.

a few hours later, you walk into the store, door creaking just a bit as a small brass bell chimes overhead. the air is filled with a comforting mix of old paper, leather bindings, and a hint of freshly brewed coffee from the corner cafe that you and spencer like to get tea from. you breathe it in deeply, a sense of calm washing over you. as you walk over the creaky wooden floorboards beneath you, soft warm light filters down from antique lamps, and cast a gentle glow over the rows of books. you ghost your fingertips over the cloth spines while the quiet murmur of whispered conversations and the occasional rustling of pages create a soothing background noise, almost like a lullaby. through spencer’s airpods, syd barrett serenades you both, and his voice blends seamlessly with the ambiance of the store.

“anything good today lemon?” spencer says as he shimmies up next to you in the aisle of towering book shelves, his voice like honey rolling off his tongue. his hair was unruly as always, but he looked so pretty in this light. his face was littered with freckles that you wish you could kiss. he’s smiling at you, and it snaps you back to reality, and reminds you of the fact you’re staring at him

“uh, yeah, i think i’ll get this one” you smile back, holding up a copy of memoirs of a geisha by arthur golden

“cool, shayne likes that one i think. but he likes every book so…” he smiles at his own remark “um, you want me to grab our normal seats in the cafe while you pay for that?”

“yes, please!” you reply eagerly, smiling as he walked off.

you walk up to the cashier, an older lady who always gives you a bookmark.

“thank you m’darlin’, have a lovely day!”

“you too mrs bryson!” you reply, heading over to spencer who’s sat in some plush leather armchairs. as you sit in comfortable silence with him, time seems to slow down, and for a moment, it's just you, spencer, the books, and the comforting atmosphere of this charming bookstore.

“i got you your sweet tea.” he says, handing you a plastic cup filled with your favourite tea.

he remembered.

fuck.

you were in love with spencer agnew, and it took you him handing you your favourite tea to realise it.

“thanks spence.” you say, still grasping the feelings in your chest.

while you read you book and drink your tea, you feel your attention drifting to him. you can't help but glance up from the pages every now and then, watching him as he sits across from you, his focus on his own book. his fingers absently tracing the rim of his coffee mug, his brow furrowing as he reads. the way the sunlight filters through the small window, casting a warm glow across his hair, highlighting the subtle streaks of lighter brown among his dark curls. you find yourself smiling at the sight of him, wondering when these small, mundane moments began to mean so much to you. the bookstore is quiet, aside for the murmur of others reading or talking in hushed tones. yet, with spencer sitting just a few feet away, the world feels like it's faded to the background. it's just you and him, sharing this space, this moment. you watch the way his lips move slightly as he reads, how he occasionally tilts his head in concentration, and the way his eyes light up when he finds something particularly interesting. as he looks up and catches you watching him, you feel a rush of warmth spreading through your chest. he smiles at you, a slow, easy smile that makes your heart skip a beat. he raises an eyebrow, and you quickly look back down at your book, feeling your cheeks flush. but you can't help it; your gaze finds its way back to him, like he's the most interesting story in the room. he seems to notice the shift in the air between you. he closes his book and leans forward slightly, his elbows resting on his knees.

“everything okay?” he asks, his voice gentle, his eyes filled with genuine curiosity.

“yeah,” you reply, trying to sound casual, though your heart is racing. “just... glad to be here with you.”

he nods, his smile growing a bit wider. “me too.”

as he settles back into his chair, you realize that this simple exchange has changed something. the air feels lighter, the connection between you stronger. you may have come here to read and relax, but now, sitting across from spencer, you know you've found something else entirely - something you never want to let go of.

as you leave the store, you’re panicking slightly as you realise you don’t know what to do. so instead you make up an excuse.

“i forgot my keys ," you blurt out, looking back at the bookstore. it's a thin excuse, but spencer doesn't seem to notice. he simply nods, a hint of concern in his eyes.

"do you want me to wait for you?" he asks, already reaching for his phone to check the time.

"no, it's fine," you reply quickly. "you can go ahead. i’ll just be a minute."

spencer seems reluctant to leave, but he nods, offering a warm smile before stepping out onto the street. you watch him walk away, his figure blending into the crowd as he heads toward the main crossing. your heart sinks a little as he disappears from view, and you take a deep breath, trying to steady your racing pulse.

the bookstore feels different now. the warm glow and soft murmurs are still there, but without spencer, it's like the color has faded a bit. you stand by the door, uncertain of what to do next. you could go back outside, catch up with him, and just say it. tell him how you feel. but the words seem stuck in your throat, and the thought of laying your feelings bare feels like too much, too soon.

you step back inside, pretending to look for something you might have left behind. the stacks of books seem to stretch endlessly in front of you, a maze of comforting distractions. you wander through the aisles, hoping to calm your racing thoughts, but all you can think about is spencer - his smile, the way his eyes crinkle when he laughs, the warmth of his voice.

eventually, you find a quiet corner and sit down, closing your eyes for a moment. you know you have to do something. you can't just let him walk away without knowing how much he means to you. but the fear of rejection, of changing everything, feels overwhelming.

you realize you need time to sort through your feelings, to figure out the best way to approach this. with a heavy heart, you decide to make your way home, hoping the familiar surroundings will bring clarity. as you step out onto the street, the cool breeze brushes against your skin, and you take a deep breath, trying to calm the storm of emotions raging inside you.

on the journey home, you replay the moments with spencer in your mind, each one a bittersweet reminder of how much he means to you. you know you can't keep hiding your feelings, but you also know you need to approach this with caution. as you unlock the door to your apartment, you make a silent promise to yourself—to take the time you need, to listen to your heart, and to find the courage to follow where it leads, even if it means risking everything for him.

when you get home, spencer tries calling you as he paces around his bedroom, his phone pressed against his ear. the ringing continues, but there's no answer. he frowns, feeling an uneasy twist in his stomach. maybe you're still in the bookstore. maybe your phone is on silent, or maybe you're just busy. he tells himself there's a reasonable explanation, but the doubt lingers.

as he walks to his kitchen, he dials again. this time, the call goes straight to voicemail. his instincts tell him something isn't right. the keys excuse felt odd, and your hurried departure only amplifies his worry. he takes a moment to think, then leaves his apartment, jumps in his car, starts the engine, and drives toward your apartment.

the streets pass in a blur as he navigates through the evening traffic, his mind racing with possibilities. he finds a parking spot near your building and heads to your door. the hallway is quiet, save for the distant sound of a tv from a neighbouring apartment. he takes a deep breath and knocks.

nothing.

he knocks again, this time a little louder. the knot in his stomach tightens. what if something's wrong? what if he's too late? he knocks a third time, and this time, he hears a faint rustling from inside. the door opens slowly, and there you are, standing in the doorway with a look of surprise and confusion.

"spence?" you say, blinking at him as if he's the last person you expected to see.

"i - i was worried," he stammers, rubbing the back of his neck. "you didn't answer your phone, and i - i didn't know if you were okay."

you tilt your head, trying to process why he's here. his eyes search yours, and you can tell he's anxious, almost desperate to explain himself. "i'm fine," you say, "just had some stuff to think about."

he nods, but you can see he's not entirely convinced. there's something else, something deeper. he takes a step back, as if he's about to leave, but then he hesitates. "i - i have to tell you something," he blurts out, his words coming out in a rush. "i like you. like a lot. like i think i love you? and i know it might be weird, and i don't want to mess things up, but I just had to say it - because i couldn't keep it to myself anymore.”

he looks at you, his eyes full of emotions you can't quite decipher yet. you nod, urging him to continue, even though your own heart is racing. there's something in his gaze that makes you realize this isn't just any confession - this is something that's been building for a long time.

"i've liked you since we were kids," he says, almost breathlessly. "i mean, you were always the coolest person I knew. you didn't care what anyone else thought. you were smart and funny and just... so genuinely kind. i remember when we used to ride our bikes around the neighbourhood, and you'd always be the first one to try something new. like, remember when you climbed that huge tree in mr lawson's yard just because you wanted to see the view from the top? i thought you were so brave."

he chuckles softly, his gaze softening as he reminisces. "and then, when we got older, you were always there for me. when my parents split up, and i felt like everything was falling apart, you were the one who came over with a pizza and just listened. you didn't try to fix it; you just let me talk. that's something i've always loved about you. you're a great listener, and you care about people. like, really care."

he shifts his weight from one foot to the other, his eyes locking with yours. "it's not just that, though. It's the little things, too. the way you laugh at the dumbest of angela’s jokes, the way you get excited about your favorite books, and how you always know the right thing to say when I'm feeling down. you make everything feel... lighter, you know? like, even when things are tough, you find a way to make it better."

spencer pauses, his voice growing more earnest. "so yeah, i've um, been holding onto this for a while, and i just, couldn't keep pretending that i didn't feel this way. i like you - a lot. and i don't know if you feel the same way, but i just couldn't not tell you anymore."

he takes a step back, the tension in his shoulders indicating that he's prepared to leave if needed. "i don't want to make things weird between us. if you don't feel the same, that's okay. i just had to say it, because you're the best thing in my life, and i can't keep acting like you aren't."

his confession takes you by surprise, but as he speaks, you feel a surge of warmth in your chest. the words you were struggling to say are suddenly so clear, so obvious. you watch as he starts to turn away, his shoulders slumping in resignation. before he can take another step, you grab his arm and pull him back, your lips pressing against his in a gentle, yet desperate kiss.

he freezes for a moment, stunned by your sudden action, then his arms wrap around you, pulling you close. when you finally break the kiss, you look into his eyes, and there's no doubt, no hesitation.

"it's always been you," you whisper, your voice soft but sure. "you're my person, spencer."

he hugs you tightly, his grip firm and comforting, as if he's afraid you'll disappear if he lets go. you rest your head on his shoulder, feeling the steady beat of his heart against your cheek. it's a perfect moment, one that feels like the beginning of something new, something beautiful.

and as you stand there in each other's embrace, you know that everything's going to be okay, because you have each other. and that's all that matters.

[nozunhinged]

My Top 5 BL Kisses of Jan (& Feb) 24 + why

Okay, okayyyyy I'm doing this, no backing out. I offically accept that analyzing kisses takes up so much of my brainspace that I can write about it — so here it goes. I'M NOT HIDING ANYMORE BUT OWNING UP TO IT! (lol, chill)

Last year I complained that I didn't get a single perfect kiss since I started watching BL TV shows (until PhayaTharn turned up) and now we're not even a quarter into the new year and I already got FIVE I'm absolutely in AWE about!! FIVE!!

I don't know if it's the actors, directors or coaches who upped their game (probably all of them) but hot damn, all of these are beautiful.

And don't ask me why I'm into kiss-acting so much I have no fucking clue, my first guess is that it's an artform in itself to make this amazing, wonderful, intimate form of touching look as beautiful as it feels — bc let's be honest here, irl kissing rarely looks pretty no matter how great it is! So I think it's just dope when you can see this beauty translated on screen.

So I guess this is peak romance genre for me and with that being said, enough talking, lets get to the kissykissies!

5. TenPrem - Cooking Crush EP. 11

I have to be honest with you, I was a bit confused by the kissing in this show. The tippytoe kiss was cute as heck but we all saw how Off AND Gun awkwardly blinked because they probably had to stay like that for a looooong time. It took the whole magic out of the whole first-kiss-moment. Same with the forced in, reshot makeout-scenes. But the kiss in the kitchen? Looks like they FINALLY got to show what they got.

Ten gently pulling Prem closer, them smoothly moving against each other, Ten closing in even more, the slightly open-mouthed kiss with their lips perfectly caressing each other, Ten with a bit more force, Prem with a bit more heat resulting in the perfect mix...Loved it, mwah.

4. PromNont - Playboyy EP. 12

They are my one Playboyy-couple where I'm like "if they don't end up married and running Playboyy together, starting the revolution of well-payed, insured and safe sex workers I'm gonna riot" even though I know this show will not end nicely for ANYONE.

Anyways, this kiss. Holy smokes they had so many good scenes but this one took the cake. Not just the sheer length of it (but still with perfect timing and breaks).

The slightest suck on Nonts upper lip, Prem literally making Nont sway, Nonts hidden desperation for Prom surfacing from his lips, them slowly but surely turning up the heat and last but not least, Prom grabbing Nonts face just to lean against him...UGH THEM!

(I made those)

3. Myungha & Yeowoon - Love for Love's Sake EP 8

I know I'm not alone in how this show swept me off my feet and hit me right in the feels. But I've gotta say, this kiss hit completely different. Again they kissed for so long but not a single moment felt wasted. It felt like their whole story put in a single kiss. And — I mean that in the most loving and positive way possible — they kissed so amazingly gay. Do you know what I mean?!

There's just this level of love, care and happiness that only queer couples can convey. Sprinkled with a hint of tongue (I saw that Yeowoon 👀) — they absolutely nailed it.

2. AlanJeff - Pit Babe EP. 11

The kiss that made me consider doing this post in the first place. I saw them and shouted THIS IS PERFECT just to realize that I did this a few weeks ago already and it made me spiral a little. In the best way possible because I felt truly blessed once again to have discovered the genre of BL in their golden era!

Because this right here is how you nail an open mouthed kiss my friends. Take notes BL producers. Put this in your textbooks! They both go at the same rythm (slow, careful but so, so loving JUST LIKE THEIR RELATIONSHIP UGH) and same level of touch so their lips caress each other perfectly. Furthermore, Alan knows exactly how to meet Jeff which is also a PERFECT EXTENSION OF HIS CHARACTER! Alan leads, Jeff follows but they meet perfectly and equally. TEN OUT OF TEN NO NOTES!

1. PhayaTharn - The Sign EP. 9

I don't understand the meaning of the "Roman Empire"-thing but I think if I say they are mine, I am correct because they will be the end of me and that's what that means right? I may be biased AF but objectively speaking, this is just an insanely well acted-out scene, PERIOD! And we all know it's thanks to Billybabes out-of-this-world-chemistry!

Phayas desperation translated into this gorgeous lip-clash, so much yearning but softness at the same time but what really got to me was how Tharn immediately melted after their lips touched, how he immediately opened up to him and got completely overwhelmed by Phayas feelings. Chapeau to Babe for showing so much range in a single second. My favorite kiss of the whole series ❤️

I also just realized all these kisses have one thing in common....hands on faces lol.

Well that was fun peeps, thanks if you made it until the end!

[demigoddaughterofhermes]

THOUGHTS on percy jackson and the olympians episode 1

1) opening narration "don't say i didn't warn you"- sounds more sad than i've always read it, i read it as angry

2) an artist!

3) was that mythomagic the game??

4) i would die for chiron, the statue of perseus was definitely on that work sheet on purpose; the handover of riptide???

5) "not everyone who looks like a hero is a hero and not everyone who looks like a monster is a monster" sally jackson i love you

6) ngl nancy saying "mommy's right here" is definitely the kind of thing that happened in real life

7) grover is an icon and i love him- psychoanalyze the bully; i love the way they pick from each others sandwiches

8) the mist so cute and quirky, i would definitely have lost my mind if that's how it happened to me. i love that there's more witnesses to it- but i kind of wish we got that epic first swing

9) "i didn't touch nancy" technically he's not lying; NOOOO i know why he's doing it but grover selling percy out of such a betrayal but i do love chiron telling percy without indirectly telling percy

10) it feels like chiron is quickly discovering that his usual tactics for supporting students won't work for percy

11) i hate gabe but this sarcastic back and forth is fucking gold

12) percy just absolutely hitting the verge of breaking down as soon as he sees his mom, me absolutely sobbing; chiron absolutely filled sally in on what really happened

i fucking love sally jackson- she is why percy is the way he is, i would kill and die for her too

13) nightmare scene first reaction: hey this is horrifying; really selling the bit that percy's dreams fucking suck

sally really said don't talk about my kid like that

14) she's putting it alll together, and i'm sure chiron told her what happened but she's also hoping she can keep him safe for just a little while longer

15) i LOVE percy's face of "huh what??" iconic and can't wait to see more of it

i'll really love that sally is the one getting to tell percy all of this- i feel so bad for both of them

16) percy saying there's no such thing as monsters

again, grover is ICONIC "so the important thing is not to panic" and "i'm actually 24"

17) i love how much more fast paced it is; i love percy flat out going "is that the minotaur??" super casually

i just realized how much grover must actually be beating himself up, bc not only did his best friend almsot get killed, but his best friends MOM is (for all intents and purposes) dead

"you're gonna need to be brave now" I AM SOBBING SCREAMING- this whole little scene is the best thing i've seen in years

sally is the bravest of us all- percy definitely thinks anyone could be poseidon's son, but being sally jackson's son is the specialist thing anyone on earth could be

18) the raw rage when sally turns to dust- his bravery and "head empty no thoughts, time to fight to the death" energy is amazing

we saw riptide return to his pocket

HE MUST BE THE ONE

WE'VE BEEN EXPECTING YOU

the credits and the title sequence??? *chefs kiss* that was amazing and iconic and i love it- onto episode twoooooo

[hannahwatchesbigbrother]

This has been a worse than average endgame (to say the least), but I want to acknowledge the highlights of bb25. I’ve been watching since bb16 (been a feedster since bb17), and this has truly been the most invested I’ve been. Despite how frustrated I’ve been with production this year, I really think this season has some really stellar stuff in it (especially pre-jury). So here is a (lengthy) list of how I’ll remember this season:

Cirie motherfucking Fields showing up!!

Izzy immediately clocking that Jared was Cirie’s son before the live premiere even ended

Izzy immediately clocking that Cameron gives serial killer vibes

Felicia destroying four mics by the end of the first week

Felicia falling into the hot tub

“Clean that shit up a bit”

Cameron thinking Felicia was related to Denzel Washington

“Izzy Fields” and the beautiful friendship between her and Cirie

Hisam’s villain arc

Cory in Blue’s pink outfit (and later Americas jumpsuit)

(Honestly just Cory being a genuinely good dude who would call out things that crossed a line and fought against toxic masculinity)

The target flipping every other hour for like the first six weeks of the game

Every time Zach Wurtenburger tweeted about BB

The nickname “fucking Bowie Jane” which was then just shortened to fbj

The still of Cory’s mouth wide open while he was saying “what the fuck” when they were thinking of keeping Hisam

Meme’s storage room rants

“If I’m a have not next week, I’ll self-evict” “I’ll be a have not with you” *america leaves* “(to self) Cory, are you the most pathetic person? They were right about you — you’re a pick me”

Felicia yelling at Jag while he was in a chicken suit

Felicia and “Mr. B” (smooches!)

The slow burn Americory showmance (I could write a thesis on how much I love it but I’ll spare you)

The fact they brought the pressure cooker back

Izzy crying about how much she hates being in the same room as Cameron

“Fuck jag and I said that shit” -America Week 4, a prophet

When Matt used the power on jag and even live feeders were shook because we had no idea

The fact that Cameron’s 14 hours in the pressure cooker didn’t matter because jag was just brought back into the game

Blue sucking up to Felicia bc she thought she was Jared’s mom for a solid 24 hours

Felicia’s sleep screaming/singing

The dramatic and out of no where red/Cameron break up

“Cam thinks he’s like a father to me, but really he’s like an absentee father who wants to sleep with my girlfriend”

Blue volunteering jag to go up as a “pawn” during Jared’s hoh

Cam winning hoh after being blindsided by the red vote (hate him but the absolute silence and his thumbs up is so funny)

“Okay Jasmine” “*crying* who’s jasmine?” “*singing* a whole new world”

Cam not telling anyone including production who he was putting up

Matt winning the prize swap veto but choosing the punishment bc he thought he’d get to hang out with the real Josh Duhamel

The Josh Duhamel punishment in general

Izzy’s kick jump during the piggy pals punishment

Jared destroying his game because Cirie was stuck in a kayak with Felicia for 48 hours

THE IZZY FLIP

(The fact the izzy flip happened bc she told Cory that he couldn’t sleep in the same bed as America anymore lol)

The Cory/Jared humiliverse fight

“To all my friends and family, trust I know that they are all liars and snakes… and cowards!”

“See you soon, pig!”

The Cirie/Felicia fight post-Jared’s eviction

Peak Unreliables when Jag fought for Cory’s LIFE against cams plan to backdoor him

People retweeting Meme’s tweets from over ten years ago that were weirdly relevant to the season

America lifting Cory after it was confirmed that they made jury

The musical that Cory got for his zing

The one time all the different stans came together was to celebrate Cams eviction

The “exquisite” bit

America causing Jag to want to shit his pants after telling him to “literally fuck off”

“Literally in this world, I am your biggest fan” 😭😭😭

Felicia being Cirie’s best friend and worst enemy (aka when she shaved her foot on her bed)

Americory saying “I love you” on Cory’s way out the door

Americas shrine to Cory/transforming into him

Cirie’s DR of her flipping off Jag, Matt, and Bowie

Izzy/Paige going as Americory for Halloween

The Americory “cradle robber” Halloween costume

“I’d be more impressed if [the wins] weren’t against two senior citizens, an airhead, and an idiot”

[artmustdraw]

Smiling Daycare AU

OKAY SMILING DAYCARE AU DETES SO YOU THE PEOPLE CAN ALSO USE IT!!! Idc what ages y’all make them but I’m making them around the same ish age for now because I am uncreative and the fandom wiki doesn’t wanna give me their ages and my internet is being dumb so I hope this posts. So they all work in a daycare and it’s fluffy and full of shenanigans. Personally I’m probably gonna write about them teaching but going off to their passions. Yes other poppy playtime characters are in this au like baby long legs and poppy going to the daycare, kissy and huggy adopting poppy, and others. I really just want the smiling critters to be happy. Yes Ik bubba isn’t drawn yet I’m sorry

More about the au under the cut!

Do not steal my art and please credit me if you use my au (or feel free to tell me about other aus like this one!!) I also do not like mob entertainment as an entity i just like the story of poppy playtime and the actual game.

So Doug has a cane bc of the game and I really wanted them to be diverse and show off a bunch of stuff people should love about themselves. I am open and willing to hear ideas to make it better but also also LET HIM LET THE KIDS PUT STICKERS ON HIS CANE!! Of course where he says they can.

Dogday = Doug Day

Catnap = Caton Nap

Craftycorn = Cadence Corne

Pickypiggy = Peggy Picky

Kickinchicken = Kevin Kickin

BobbyBearhug = Bobby Bears

Hoppyhopscotch= Hoppy skotch

Bubbabubaphant = Berry Bluphant

Caton and Doug are both assistants then actual teachers (idk what a daycare worker is called so) because they’re the youngest two. Crafty teaches the 6 year olds, and loves it. Bobby takes care of the infants, and Hoppy is just as energetic as her band of 2-3 year olds. The 4 year olds are taken care of by Peggy, who lets them have any snack they want. Kevin usually wears a partial track suit but my little sister wants him to be a cop lmao idk where to put him XD. Berry is so smart I think he’d be the oldest and he is the principal? Idk what to call who’s in charge also I’m sorry.

For now the ages are

Caton: 20

Doug: 21

Kevin: 24

Hoppy: 24

(No kev and hops arent twins just the same year b days)

Cadence: 25

Bobby: 26

Peggy: 27

Berry: 30

THERES MORE TO COME I JUST HAVENT MADE MORE YET!!!

[reinathevocaloid]

A Sladick Playlist

(Bc these two have been living in my head rent-free these days lol)

Animals by Maroon 5 (Cover by Living in Fiction)

Baby, I'm preying on you tonight Hunt you down, eat you alive Just like animals

I Don't Know Why by Imagine Dragons

Dangerous Your love is always dangerous And now I'm lost in us We're livin' in a lying trust

damn. by Rei Ami

So tell me why you're back again Say what you mean, mean what you say 'Cause what you give is what you get And I don't forget

Killing Time by Infected Mushroom

In my dreams (I can kill you) Close to me You open the cage and he sets you free

Amsterdam by Daughter

Heavy eyed crawling on the roadside Swinging from the street lights I hope by the morning I will have grown back

heart of steel by sanjay.

What would I do with a heart of steel Protect what I love when I don't even feel Taken the chance to fix what I need Nothings right I need a chance to breathe

Maybe by Flower Face

You're the one who's in my body, ripping at the seams And you're the one who's crashing on the highways in my dreams Maybe I won't, maybe I will I haven't slept so easy since you left me in the wild I wish I could've loved you right, but I was just a child Maybe I won't, maybe I will run back to you

Psychobabble by Frou Frou

Do just what I tell you And no one will get hurt Don't come in any closer 'Cause I don't know how long I can hold my heart in two Make no sudden movements And no one need get hurt You're making me nervous If you know what's good for me why would I be loving you?

Knee Socks by Arctic Monkeys

When the zeros line up on the 24 hour clock When you know who's callin' even though the number is blocked When you walked around your house wearin' my sky blue Lacoste And your knee socks

Turn Off The Lights by Panic! At The Disco

I got so sick of being on my own Now the devil won't leave me alone It's almost like I've found a friend Who's in it for the bitter end

Just Pretend by Bad Omens

I can wait for you at the bottom I can stay away if you want me to I can wait for years if I gotta Heaven knows I ain't getting over you

Invisible by Plumb

I cannot see you But I can feel you I just wanna be with you I've nowhere else to go I've nowhere else to go

Red by BEAUZ

I know all your little secrets Did you think that I'd forget? The first cut always goes the deepest You ain't seen nothing yet

Waiting Game by BANKS

Baby I'm thinking it over What if the way we started made it something cursed from the start? What if it only gets colder Would you still wrap me up and tell me that you think this was smart 'Cause lately I've been scared of even thinking 'bout where we are

The Walk by Imogen Heap

No, it's not meant to be like this Not what I planned at all I don't want to feel like this So that makes it all your fault

The Heart Wants What It Wants by Selena Gomez

The bed's getting cold and you're not here The future that we hold is so unclear But I'm not alive until you call And I'll bet the odds against it all

Hold Me Like A Grudge by Fall Out Boy

Hold me, hold me like a grudge The world is always spinning, and I can't keep up, whoa Faster and faster, can't do it on my own Part-time soulmate, full-time problem, yeah So hold me like a grudge

Strange Birds by Birdy

You've always loved the strange birds Now I want to fly into your world I want to be heard My wounded wing's still beating, You've always loved the stranger inside Me, ugly pretty

Coming Down by Halsey

Now we're lost somewhere in outer space In a hotel room where demons play They run around beneath our feet We roll around beneath these sheets

Death Valley by Fall Out Boy

But we are alive Here in death valley But don't take love off the table yet 'Cause tonight It's just fire alarms and losing you We love a lot So, we only lose a little But we are alive

The Definition of Not Leaving by Hands Like Houses

I want you to follow and find me Howl like its us and no-one else We could keep out the sadness and stand so tall We could run like wild things, and lie right where we fall

Undisclosed Desires by Muse

I want to reconcile the violence in your heart I want to recognize your beauty is not just a mask I want to exorcise the demons from your past I want to satisfy the undisclosed desires in your heart

Disciple by IAMX

Disciple, I absolve you So forgive yourself enough to obey the naked truth That you need to be owned And you beg to be controlled

On The Run by Kayou.

I guess you're back Are you gonna tell me where you went? All the messages I sent, with no reply It's like that You're just gonna walk into my room I hate how you assume That there will always be a place for you By my side Day or night You know that it's killing me

Raw Raw by K.Flay

I came up from the depths of hell with a golf club in my hand You disarmed me, no defense My armor turned to sand It's hard to escape the wounds of the past Every time I feel something real, I wanna take it back

Red Lights by Stray Kids

I'm going crazy now, out of control, I I'm staying up all night again The moment when I close my eyes All I see is red lights

All About Us by t.A.T.u.

They say They don't trust You, me, we, us So we'll fall if we must 'Cause it's you, me And it's all about, it's all about It's all about us

Heaven, Iowa by Fall Out Boy

Scar-crossed lovers forever I'm checking myself out forever I'm saving this all for later Scar-crossed lovers forever Here we are, untouched forever I'm saving this all for later, oh

Spiracle by Flower Face

And I want your parties, the shark in your water The scrapes on your knees and the blood that spills over And I want your zeroes, your polluted marrow The sweat on your palms and your surveillance shadow

[smoshpvnk]

120 misc ship questions | shaymien edition

buckle the fuck up guys /pos

1. who rushes to open doors for the other?

damien

2. who drives more often?

either

3. who is more eager to jump in the shower with the other?

damien

4. who takes self care more seriously?

both but probably damien

5. what’s a song that reminds you of them?

starlight - muse / rather be - clean bandit / everywhere - fleetwood mac / j’s lullaby - delaney bailey + every song i’ve used to make an edit of them with (everything i know about love - laufey, end of beginning - djo, you & me song - the wannadies)

6. what’s another couple / duo (real or fictional) that reminds you of them?

ian and anthony tbh (also dan and phil but i don’t think anyone cares about my explanation)

7. which one keeps more things because they’re sentimental?

shayne

8. which one tells their parents about their partner first? how does it happen?

damien i feel like would be so excited bc he’s so fond of shayne that it would just accidentally slip

9. whose family are they more likely to stay with during holidays?

shayne’s maybe? bc az is closer?

10. whose parents are / were stricter?

shayne’s

11. who uses more emojis?

damien but like ironically

12. where was their first date?

so random soundstage /j uh idk maybe something casual so it wouldn’t feel do heavy at first. a restaurant they both enjoy or smthn

13. what’s their favorite game to play together (any kind)?

nidhogg

14. which one spams posts / links to the other?

damien “this reminded me of you” haas

15. who is the black cat and who is the golden retriever?

obviously damien black cat shayne golden retriever i mean come oN

16. what mythical creature / monster would they each be? (vampire, werewolf, dragon, fairy, etc.)

damien - vampire, shayne - something with lots of wisdom like druid idk

17. who urges the other to go sing a karaoke duet with them?

damien

18. what is their karaoke song?

rather be or an emo one like panic or fob losers (me hitting my 10th year as an emo mark)

19. who is more likely to serenade the other at random moments?

damien

20. who stares at the other from across the room?

damien

21. who brings a shopping haul of clothes home and who watches their fashion show?

both

22. who insists on paying when they go out to eat?

damien

23. who is more impulsive?

damien

24. who is ‘everything’ and who is ‘just ken’? /ref

damien is everything, shayne is just ken (sorry bud)

25. whose main goal its it to make the other blush?

damien

26. who is first to know about a new trend, meme, slang, etc.?

damien

27. who gets up early to make the other breakfast?

shayne

28. who insists they are their pets’ parents?

damien

29. do they have pets together? what kind, what names, etc.

mildy canon /s freyja and zelda

30. who is more of an animal whisperer / befriends wild animals?

damien

31. who has more patience?

shayne

32. who insists on fixing something themselves, and who would rather call a repair service?

damien wants to fix himself, shayne wants to call service

33. who turns something into an innuendo first?

damien

34. who takes longer to understand a joke or reference?

neither

35. who hides in the other’s arms during a horror movie?

shayne

36. who is more jumpy / scared easily?

shayne

37. who makes more movie references?

shayne

38. who thinks die hard is a christmas movie, and who doesn’t?

damien thinks it is, shayne thinks it isn’t (idk for sure though this can probably be fact checked)

39. who talks more during a movie?

damien

40. who carries the other bridal style?

damien

41. what are their thoughts on marriage?

hmmm idk. hesitant but open?

42. what’s the last name situation when / if they get married? (who’s last name do they take, do they keep theirs, do they hyphenate)

haa stopp (like haha, stop) i’m so funny guys (haas-topp or topp-haas idfk)

43. who wants the less traditional wedding?

damien

44. where do they get married, and where do they honeymoon?

probably in a more secluded pretty place in california, and they honeymoon in japan

45. where is their favorite place to travel?

japan

46. what do they do on vacation?

do all the touristy things, shop at nerdy places for magazines and trinkets, get lost

47. which one overpacks and which one underpacks?

both overpack?

48. who is the yapper and who is the napper?

it depends on the topic, if it’s about sports then shayne is the yapper and damien is the napper, if it’s maybe voice acting roles or something damien is the yapper and shayne is the napper

49. which one is a lighter sleeper?

damien

50. who is the moon and who is the sun?

damien moon shayne sun

51. who collects more? (figurines, pokemon cards, etc)

damien

52. who is more excited to decorate for the next holiday / event?

damien

53. who stopped believing in santa later than the other?

shayne

54. do they want kids together? give me all the details - names, what traits they inherit, etc.

in parent au i would think they maybe have 2 girls and 1 boy? alice, cheyenne, and ??? (on my sims they have 2 kids so far, klaus and alice)

55. who is a stricter parent and who is more lenient?

shayne maybe slightly stricter than damien

56. who reads a book, and who reads over the other’s shoulder while cuddling?

shayne reads, damien cuddles

57. which is booba and which is kiki? /ref

damien is booba, shayne is kiki

58. who believes in soulmates and who doesn’t?

neither but damien slightly believes more

59. who gets nostalgic more easily?

damien

60. who is more of a perfectionist?

damien

61. who hosts more parties?

neither

62. who makes handmade gifts more often for the other?

both!!! (damien’s little wooden board for him, shayne maybe mini paintings or origami 🥺)

63. which one is more formal when answering emails?

shayne

64. who prefers skinny jeans and who prefers baggy jeans?

damien - skinny jeans, shayne - baggy jeans

65. who’s better at roasting the other?

damien

66. who initiates more pda?

damien

67. which one is better at censoring their language, and which has less of a filter?

damien can censor better (twitch) shayne just isn’t as used to it

68. who insists on being player one?

shayne

69. which one snores like “honk shoo” and which snores like “hoooonk mimimi”?

damien honk shoo, shayne hoooonk mimimi

70. who gives more forehead kisses to the other?

damien

71. what does their future look like?

happy, content, open communication, side by side coexisting, love, support

72. which one believes in astrology more?

damien

73. what was their first kiss like?

with both consent and surprise

74. who steals the other’s clothes more often?

shayne

75. who steals the other’s food more often?

damien

76. do they believe in ‘celebrity hall passes’? if so, which celebrities are theirs?

damien maybe fictional characters, shayne pretty demispec so he doesn’t really have anyone to feel that way towards

77. what matching couples costumes do they wear?

something nerdy as fuckkkkkk from an anime or video game probably

78. who is naturally more cold / more hot?

shayne maybe cold for snuggles, damien for cute sleepy frustration of kicking the sheets off

79. which is more extroverted?

damien

80. how do they celebrate valentine’s day?

maybe a small outing but mostly at home together enjoying company, touch, and sappy sex hehe

81. what’s a holiday tradition they have? (ex. presents before breakfast on christmas)

insisting they don’t need to splurge on each other’s presents but they each give at least one that’s pricey but thoughtful

82. what niche pet names do they have for each other?

for damien from shayne - slaymien yaas, deem beem, damienuhhh

for shayne from damien - baby bird, my guy, bitch

83. who hates small talk and would rather have deep conversations?

shayne

84. what’s their icebreaker / olive branch after a disagreement?

“i brought home food from canes for us”

85. what kind of food or restaurant is their favorite to get together?

^

86. who believes in conspiracies more?

damien

87. which had their friends tries to set them up?

sorry matthew scott you will always be the wingman if it’s during so random days. if it’s during smosh days it’s courtney.

88. think of your favorite movie, then incorporate your pairing into it somehow and talk about it.

damien being jack skellington, shayne being sally née finklestein

89. when they’re separated in public, what do they yell out to find each other?

“SHAWNYAY” “DAMIENHAASEN”

90. professors!au. what subjects would they teach?

damien - linguistics or history, shayne - psychology or botany

91. ghostmates!au. who is the ghost that haunts the other?

damien

92. soulmates!au. how are they connected? do they have matching tattoos, names written on them, etc.

i haven’t finished my soulmates au fic but i did the stereotypical purple/black moon, yellow/blue sun

93. punk x pastel!au. which is which?

punk damien pastel shayne. this is canon

94. historical!au. what time period are they in? what are they up to?

probably victorian vampires like iwtv (gaaay)

95. hospital!au. who’s the doctor, who’s the patient, and how did they get in that situation?

shayne broke his ankle and doctor damien is confused how he got in that mess. or damien is a hypochondriac and doctor shayne is trying and failing to reassure him he is fine

96. massage parlor!au. who is the masseuse, who is getting the massage?

damien giver shayne receiver ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

97. angel x demon!au. who is the angel and who is the demon?

angel shayne demon damien

98. gender swap!au. what are their names? (ex. anthony is antoinette)

demia and shaniya?

99. superpowers!au. are they hero and sidekick? mortal enemies? villain duo? what powers do they have?

i love enemies to lovers villain damien hero shayne for some reason

100. timeloop!au. who is stuck and who helps them out of it?

shayne is stuck damien helps him out (read this fic now)

101. royalty!au. who is the royal and who is the knight / guard / maid etc.?

shayne is royal damien is the knight (read this fic now)

102. magic!au. what kind of magic do they use?

damien i can see either being a healer or persuasion. shayne again with wisdom like vast knowledge or nature powers idk

nsfw / suggestive ⚠️

you didn’t see me fill out any of this btw

1. what’s their favorite position?

missionary so they can keep taunting each other. or riding. or any way damien can touch shayne the most. or anywhere

2. who uses their mouth/teeth/tongue more?

damien

3. who uses their hands/nails more?

damien

4. who is a bit more adventurous?

hmmm. shayne?

5. who is more willing to go to a sex shop in person, and who is more embarrassed?

damien can wear a mask and somehow convince himself that he’s extroverted enough to small talk. shayne tried to just get him to order online

6. who is more into dirty talk?

damien

7. who is more into eye contact?

damien

8. what was their most risky / adventurous experience?

across the bed instead of up and down ? smoffice ? in the car in an empty parking lot ? idk

9. who likes to bite, and who likes to be bitten?

damien likes to bite. a lot. we have been over this (i was the one who made this question list)

10. what is their favorite sexual activity to do together / to the other?

damien marking shayne up, dirty talk, biting ^ shayne roleplay, appealing to senses, sense of mystery

11. which is more dominant / which is more submissive?

the d in damien stands for dominant and the s in shayne stands for submissive

12. what was their first time like?

very loving and gay and beautiful and sweet and sloppy

13. who likes to be spanked more?

shayne

14. who sends dirty texts more often?

damien

15. mile high club? yes or no?

too sleepy or anxious so no

16. what’s something they reserve for special occasions?

toys

17. how long into their relationship did it take for them to have sex?

i love the trope for them of like friends to lovers, so as soon as like, they decided they were gonna be more than platonic, it was pretty quick after. damien’s playful touches turned sensual very quickly

18. how often do they have sex?

pretty often bc damien’s pent up-ness will spill into other aspects (like being ‘horny’ in videos), and shayne just gets a lil irritable / attention seeking

[charmixpower]

You said you were happy to give more ,so I'm back for the sweet sweet child Valtor HC's (any plans for writing a fanfic? ). You've opened pandoras box and you can't close it now.

Muah! I'm so glad you're enjoying this little crack au that I got WAYYY to attached too and am now taking seriously XD

I could do like a one shot fic or something but my main concern rn is surviving s6-8 and wow

Anyways here's some SWEET headcanons

Not all of them are nice bc I cannot be dragged away from the angst but most of them are!!

Valtor is legally a ward of Light Rock and will be until he turns 18 and competes in his rehabilitation. I imagine that Light Rock is actually a nice place, the Trix just did not jive with it or the concept of becoming better people. He does therapy at the compound, and his favorite type is art therapy. Valtor really likes it there with his 76 well trained older brothers who are also technically guards

He picks up a bunch of different hobbies at Light Rock. He loves all the activities. They introduce him to theater and it goes exactly like you expect. He LOVES it, and invites the winx et al to all of his shows. He loves the costumes and dramatics about it, and eventually he's listening to Stella talk about types of stitches so he can make his own clothes too

You know those magic limiters the Trix wore on their foreheads at Light Rock? Valtor wears one but he can break it and take it off whenever they want. They're still trying to find a way to actually limit his magic, at some point Valtor got involved in the process

People were first really worried that Valtor could take off the magic limiter whenever he wanted but it slowly became clear that he's perfectly content to stay put so eventually no one cares. The Light Council even gives permission for Valtor to use his magic eventually, despite the fact he's supposed to be limited

Valtor was the one who told Bloom how to get to Obsidian. Like he was there when that happened and he spent all his time after the Ancestrals got trapped trying to get them out so he can just tell the Winx

He obviously doesn't go with them, just because he has the ability to use free will and the obedience built into his essence is now gone doesn't make him immune to mind control spells and he'd rather not. He also REALLY never wants to be face to face with Belladonna ever again, Icy was bad enough tbh

When Bloom puts her hacks powers back where they belong (in Domino) and becomes a normal ass (still stupid powerful, shes related to Daphne AND part of fire mixed with her magic at this point) fairy, she has to learn how to fight like a normal person instead of abusing the fact she doesn't get magic exhaustion. She spars with/around Valtor, primarily because as the Wizard of Magic he can tell her when she's getting exhausted bc she doesn't notice

When the Winx practice group combat they usually spar with Valtor too, who is ecstatic to spend time with the Winx AND use his magic, and they're all there like "if you didn't pull your punches for most the year and have an obvious exploit in your design (aka if you were a nomral born person) we would of never won."

Valtor is technically transformed 24/7 and can straight up die from magical exhaustion. Unlike other magic users who would just detransform, collapse, and pass out, he's far too sustained by his magic to survive without it. This is one of the said design flaws that could be used to defeat him, please note how both this and ripping his elemental components apart would both kill him

He's a kid but he's the WIZARD OF MAGIC, literally anything that's magic is under his domain and he absolutely treated their fights as games bc he COULD curve stomp anything. Belladonna wasn't fucking around when she created him

He still considers Bloom his sister after she gives up her HAXXS that makes her magic feel like his. Bloom thinks this is adorable and takes him out for family time. Valtor looks forward to whenever anyone comes to visit him, especially when he gets to leave the compound (it's nice there but he's used to having access to a lot more space) but especially when Bloom does it

Magic attaches to symbols easily, and Valtor made his mark to make really complicated magic (like Witch magic mind control and Fairy magic power boosting) easier on himself. He made the symbol at like 4ish and has been using it since. Sometimes he makes the symbol from his hands when he just shoots magic at the problem bc he thinks it looks cool

Eventually Helia takes over administration over RF from Saladin Valtor likes to hang around the place and he gets to help out with combatting magic lessons! Exciting for Valtor, terrifying for literally all the students. Riven and Diaspro tend to be around™ bc Helia harasses them into being around and they do not help the situation. The staff at RF uses Valtor to haze the freshmen. Valtor eventually notices this and is stuck between intentionally freaking them out and not wanting people to be afraid of him

Bby Valtor is Belladonna's biological son, no father. He's made from a combination of all the elements instead of just fire and his true form is more uncanny and otherworldly instead of chthonic looking. A very strong "I shouldn't be looking at this" energy, his appearance sets off the flight or fight response but it's not incomprehensible or anything. He's still humanoid it's just when you're a creature closest in make-up as all 5 of the gods of your world you end up looking weird. Still dragon looking tho

Nabu comes around often to just chat with Valtor about his magic. As a scholar Nabu is thriving asking questions about Valtor and Valtor loves the attention, everyone else is a little concerned if Nabu should be getting child that nearly took over the dimension thinking about how to use his magic more efficiently but it's fine. Valtor is a good kid now

Btw if the planet of Espero (where dimension wide government buildings are hosted, including Light Rock) was ever attacked....no it wouldn't be <3 Valtor would put an end to that shit so quickly it wouldn't even be a fight

[anamenooneowns]

Healed

A/N: hi! i've started watching the OBX and i wanted to just write something platonic for rafe bc i feel like a lot could have been prevented if this kid just had love in his life, lmao. uh, so previously this was with the reader as him mother but i'm changing it to just be a woman who is his stepmother and black. anyone can read this though.

Warnings: light talking of animal abuse, talk of therapy, she/her pronouns.

This is entirely platonic.

IN WHICH: Rafe is Loved.

-Coming into Rafe’s life when he was starting to go through his issues at ten. He wasn’t stupid, he could see that his father was focusing more and more on Sarah and less on him

-So what did a young kid who wanted his father’s attention do? He tried harder. He tried harder because trying harder must have meant he just wasn’t doing enough in the first place. He stopped playing video games, studied 24/7, read books in his free time, took care of four year old Wheezie and of seven year old Sarah

-His stepmother saw how desperate he was for approval. Waiting for even just a splinter of a bone, like a dog, to take away and nurture secretly from everyone else’s eyes

-She also realized that when he saw good things weren’t getting his father’s attention, he turned to bad things… really bad things

-Starting fights, locking Sarah in places like the basement or closet if she got on his nerves, telling Wheezie scary stories that made her too afraid to leave her bed and gave her nightmares she couldn’t sleep from, catching him outside one day torturing a poor stray cat that was always near the house by pulling its tail until she found him

-Rafe was still wary of her: the stepmother. Maybe not as wary as he was filled with pre-conceived notions. She had to think he was just a nuisance, an annoying boy who got into shit and was just acting out and being a spoiled brat. Rafe saw nothing meaningful in being a child because the adults around him were always staring at him like some big disappointment, whispering condolences to Ward as if he had died as a kid. That it was just a phase and when he was older it would stop

-That was where Rafe’s desire to become a man had blossomed, until she stepped in and squashed that bullshit right in the bud.

-She opened her heart to Rafe in a way that scared him. This had to be a trap. What did she gain from being so nice and sweet? Brownie points with his father because she was a good step-mom? A good reputation among the other parents for stepping up for these motherless kids?

-He responded the only way a wounded dog could. By biting.

-He was nasty and rude and mean in a specific way branded to her. Hitting where he felt it would hurt the most, wanting–needing–to drive her away because he knew if he didn’t then he’d have to face the most painful truth of all

-That someone loved him

-And she did love this precious boy. This ten year old boy who was a maelstrom of pain and hurt and anger and confusion and a bone-aching loneliness that she swallowed for him with every smile, every defense of his actions, every meal, every ruffle of his hair, and every unsaid ‘I love you’

-The early grieved childhood of Rafe Cameron turned around with the help of one woman who made being a kid have value again.

-She was incredibly patient. Soon, very early mornings became ones of meditation for her and Rafe, silence befriending both as them as they sat outside on specific, comfy pillows to start the day. Incense in the air from fragrances like lavender and vanilla to frankincense

-Rafe never thought himself to be the creative type, but he shyly found himself really enjoying pottery with her. Painting too

-He liked the idea of being able to make whatever he wanted and give it new life and redo it if he made a mistake

-He loves listening to old-school R&B and Hip-Hop with her while doing it. He has one of those reversable plushies so if it’s smiling then he wants the session to be a talking one, if it isn’t then he doesn’t want to talk but it can change mid-session too

-Rafe also never says anything about it, but he adores her curly hair and she only knows because she caught him trying to peek discreetly at her while she was doing the last braid of the row she was on

-He’s so sweet and shy too, telling her that he likes the products she uses because they smell really good and just quietly watching her do the rest

-As Rafe grows older, it’s clear he’s changed a lot but she actually forced Ward to do something about this disconnect that she sees he still has. Rafe isn’t a bad kid but he still doesn’t see that when he does certain things, they hurt people’s feelings, and his empathy isn’t fully there 

-Rafe initially resists it because his thought process is ‘they think I’m crazy’ until he actually attends with her–for support–and really enjoys it

-Rafe is kinder to his sisters and is more like a big brother now, bothering them by going into their room for no reason, messing something up, then leaving

-Rafe is always in the kitchen when she is, watching her cook and helping too at her gentle instruction

-Rafe’s best friends have been Topper and Kelce his whole life but with her intervention, he finds himself not caring at all about ‘Kooks vs. Pogues’ similarly to Sarah and I see him not choosing to be friends with them anymore because he doesn't want to become the same rotten apple. You know what they say-one (two) rotten apples spoils the whole barrel.

-Healed Rafe is completely about protecting his peace. This kid meditates, drinks tea, has been learning to not react impulsively, and is super responsible

-Rafe actually going to college and not just fucking around with Ward's money and doing drugs, all because someone saw him and helped him instead of just watching him drown

-Rafe chooses to head to college outside of the OBX and North Carolina in general to just get away from it all and on the last day, all moved into his dorms in NYC, he hugs her tightly and for the first time in the decade she's been in his family he says, “Thank you, mom, for–for everything, okay? … I love you. Sorry I didn’t say it sooner.”

-There’s a lump in her throat as she hugged her son, her baby, and just held onto him a little tighter

“Don’t apologize, baby. I already knew.”

[its-koili]

hey guys. sorry for being gone for so long. heres an update

(tw for: mention of violence / gore, general distress, mental health issues)

(tw below)

.

basically i had a huge mental health crisis. i was having 24/7 constant rolling panic attacks from may of 2023 to january of this year. my last big meltdown was in early february. been processing a lot of CSA trauma and some recent trauma that ive gone through. i think i talked about my panic attacks before leaving social media but idk i dont remember. isolated myself from absolutely everybody.

the main thing that made me leave was that while i was keeping up to date on the g3n0c1d3 (censoring bc idk how tumblr is about it), and when i was looking in the replies / related of the awareness videos, i came across 4 accounts dedicated to using gore for clicks / shock. not videos of the g3n0c1d3 (thank god bc of how they were using the vids) but of unfortunate every day situations and cam footage. like, the kind of stuff you could see on liveleak back in 2010. just out in the open on twitter. they all had usernames like "(insert number here) ways to die)". they were all content farms for click/ad revenue. it was too much it was a huge trigger and i had a full on meltdown. the bluecheck ppl on twitter were using the replies of the videos people uploaded for raising awareness to upload mindless g0re for money. the fact that peoople have 0 compassion for human life sent me into a spiral that i couldnt get out of. (i reported 3 out of the 4 accounts i was able to and 3 got taken down but 1 is still up and it odesnt seem to be uploading the hardcore g0r3 anymore. so thats good. but that was one of the reasons i left social media. ive been keeping up to date w the news but thats it. i left my socials entirely and ive only been on my phone to look up recipes or to use my computer for media research groceries and gaming and shows

that was the main thing that pushed me to leave. i just couldnt take it anymore. during the start of my crisis last year, i was planning on taking a small break, but all of that pushed me over the edge and i dropped everything. after that, my issues got worse and i dont remember most of it. thankfully. but i couldnt bring myself to talk to anybody. i isolated myself and just. laid in bed. but im doing better so i guess thats good

on another topic ive beeen nervous to post this on main but during all of this (ive talked abt tihs a little bit on my priv before i left) i found out that im a system a long while back. my dad (one of my abusers) had/has DID and it terrified me to think that i could be anything like him. i also knew cereal abuser who pretended to be a system to get away with stuff/abusing their friends (and then years later admitted that they werent a system and siad that systems are fake.) LOTS of tears. lots of crying over this. was in denial for a few weeks. cried some more. then eventually came to terms with it.

i dont want to post abt my system online too much bc i dont want to act like this is some fun trendy thing bc its not. it makes day to day living very hard (some lighter/funnier issues that make it hard are: arguing with an alter bc YOU dont know where THEY put YOUR MEDS, not being able to cook because one alter can and the other cant, your art style not being consistent because their styles are different). i dont want to really make it a massive part of my identity online bc its not a big deal! theres just Multiple Little Guys in my brain. so. im a system! im the same but....this explains why i dont remember talking to certain people SUIDHUFHX. i always felt bad. makes conversing with online friends hard especially if icons/usernames are changed. ill make a separate post about this someday thatll go into detail a bit more.

i went years thinking it was just "kinning" but it wasnt lol. it turns out that your personality completely shifting, tastes in food / music / art / media changing, the way you walk / talk dress changing, and having complete memory blackouts when you """"kin shift"""" isn't normal. /lh (dw ive had a lot of time to come to terms with this)

but basically right now ive been spending time getting to,,know myself?? iive been using simplyplural for myself for several months and im uncovering a lot of my memories / trauma ect bc alters can write down what they need to in the chat. so i can go back later and read it. its been v helpful!

i will not be coming back just yet. i have no interest in using social media rn or drawing or writing unfortunately. ive been working on my original stuff here and there but i havent been drawaing fandom stuff bc im not hyperfixating on a fandom.

also. some things have come up. im not going to say anything until the party in question is stable/safe/comfortable before i even suggest anything for context (i dont plan on talking abt anything at all unless they start talking publicly). right now i am helping someone through abuse. their wellbeing is my #1 concern. i'll think about other things after im sure theyre okay.

i dont really have any resolutions as to how things are going but i do feel better and im not having as many panic attacks. i dont really know where im going with this now sorry. just trying to brush over the basic topics before i go. idk if anybody remembers me bc ive been gone for so long so idk if im just talking into the wind but if i am thats fine honestly this is helping me reorganize my thoughts (i type these vents out a lot on docs so i probably wont remember posting this hiudhvu)

other than that. i dont draw or write anymore. i think in the past 6 months ive drawn like....5 things. its. weird. im completely disconnected from fandoms now. coming up to a full year of not having a hyperfixation at all.

my bday was on the 6th. im 27 now im very old (everybody forgot it asides from my husband (and the people he reminded) n my abuser). ive been trying to cook and bake more and ive been playing video games again. planning on getting back into drawing soon and working on my original stuff. when i come back im planning on redesigning my profiles and updating my social media bios and stuff bc theyre so old. also ill make a section on my carrd for my system. there you go theres some positivity to the update nxfjdfjh. sorry if i dont seem very enthused im very tired so typing has been a chore hfuidshuifv.

sorry that this was a lot or if it seems disjointed i was trying to put down as much into this as possible without making it too long

bye!!! see u all soon!

[twopoppies]

Hi Gina... I need to rant 😠 lmfao

As a life-long Chiefs fan and KC native all I can say is this T*ylor shit is fucking annoying. I know you talk to a LOT of people in the fandom, so you may not remember, but I'm a fellow Sw*ftie hater (maybe that's too harsh but idgaf) and I didn't think it was possible to get more annoyed with this woman than I've been since I stopped being a fan in 2018. Boy, was I WRONG. I'm a die-hard Chiefs fan. I loved my team even when we sucked and couldn't make it to the playoffs (before Patrick Mahomes), so to see EVERYONE make the game on Sunday about her is beyond frustrating. People (Sw*fties) are seriously saying she's the only reason we won. Like we haven't won multiple AFC championships and two Super Bowls in the past three years. Maybe I'm just taking it too seriously, but when our boys played a kick ass game on Sunday after such a shitty season opener (that we lost), it was so nice to see that we're getting our mojo back but I literally can't look at any post, tweet, article, tv segment, etc that doesn't make the game about her.

God, please don't let her be around for the rest of the season 🙏🏻

Also, I'm not saying they're not hooking up, but this is 100% for PR. I've personally never seen them pan to a celebrity so many times during the game. I've never seen "candid" photos of Travis Kelce, Patrick Mahomes, or any of the other popular Chiefs' players leaving Arrowhead Stadium after a game like we just got with Travis & T*ylor, or "candid" photos & videos of any of the popular players driving through the city, which is so sus. And then what really sealed the deal for me was that T*ylor announced earlier today that her concert film will be shown internationally. She was also named as an entertainer of the year for entertainment weekly and is on the cover. Not to mention, she has a new re-recording coming out in a month and continues to announce new versions of the 1989 re-recording. "Someone" must not be happy enough that she's already broke records with the Speak Now sales, is selling the most number of albums overall, but she must be aiming to break those Speak Now records with the 1989 re-recording sales bc she's releasing new versions quite often. I mean, how greedy can one person be. Like you haven't sold enough albums? You don't have enough publicity? You don't have enough money? It's just gross to me.

Also, I personally just found her reactions over the top for someone who isn't even a fan, especially whatever that head shake thing is at the end. But maybe that's just because I find everything she does annoying and cringe.

https://www.instagram.com/reel/CxmAHqjrACL/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

Plus, the stats around Travis and the Chiefs have skyrocketed. So they're absolutely getting a lot out of this as well as the NFL like someone mentioned earlier.

I'll attach an article but here are some numbers:

Travis' jersey sales went up almost 400%

Stubhub ticket sales for Chiefs' home games increased threefold in just 24 hrs

Travis gained 325k new ig followers - more than he gained after winning the last Super Bowl

Sunday's Chiefs' game was the most watched NFL game on any network last week

It was also the most watched game among girls and women 12 to 49 yrs old

https://www.axios.com/2023/09/26/taylor-swift-travis-kelce-merch-sales-up-chiefs-kansas-city

And yes, I know I know a lot about her for someone who doesn't like her. But she's inescapable even when I have muted everything related to her... And now she's taking over my everything related to my favorite football team and my city 🤢 Where's Pete Davidson when you need him? 😂

Ok, sorry for that rant. I know I probably sound ridiculous, but I prefer my life T*ylor free just like I prefer my life Ol*via free, and I thought you might understand 😂 Anyways, feel free not to post if you don't want to discuss her anymore.

I hope you're having a good night, Gina. Lots of love.

She really is a horrendous actress. Everything she did at that game was so embarrassingly fake. But clearly people want to believe it because it’s everywhere.

That’s bananas how much his stats already went up and just shows why it’s worth it to do this kind of nonsense, even to someone who’s already really famous.

I’m not interested in football at all, but I’m so sorry she’s contaminating your safe space. 😩

[faarkas]

tagged by my darlings @aartyom and @nuclearstorms to do this cheeky lil oc game. i love to rate my children.

no pressure tagging @vilkaas @rockerboys @malefiicarum @cptcassian @leefi @denerims @virmire @statichvm @jackiesarch and @reaperkiller !

enjoy the hastily cobbled together banners at midnight when i have work tomorrow. 😭

- picrew

– FAVORITE OC.

salen trevelyan [dai] & verde jack [cp77]

ooohhhhhhh these two blond(e) freckly bitches are the baddies of all time for me. I’ve had Salen since 2017 and he’s remained my biggest comfort oc for some reason. he is literally just some layered bimbo with daddy issues and too much responsibility. 😭 AND VERDE IS JUST….woman of all time. Almost as old as Salen bc I started cobbling her together RIGHT after i saw the fake 2018 e3 demo. :^) But her aesthetic and character and just the way she is (talented artist exhausted and resigned to having to literally fight for her life…SO many different ways) appeals to me. These two and gwen are always on my mind I rly should do more with all of them tbh. they are so special to me.

– NEWEST OC.

megan stern [re]

everybody say hiiii meg. She’s the new baby on the block and if U can believe it….she’s getting shit written about her. Imagine that. The blondies are fuming. Anyway she’s a bit of a spitfire pilot that gets the honour and dreadful task of loving chwis wedfield. She likes pickle flavoured potato chips. (among many many other strange flavours)

– OLDEST OC.

elena lavellan [dai]

The fact that she’ll be 10 years old next year is giving me fucking heartburn. I don’t really think about her so much anymore, but she was the IT girl for a while. She still holds an esteemed position in my barbie playhouse or w/e. But she’s got the chronic pain, the wit, the beauty, the drive, the bravery to keep on trucking. tragically a c*llen romance first and then s*las second.

– MEANEST OC.

vertex [cp77]

ms cuntress supreme. Her and gwen fought for this spot. But Vertex is MEAN, she’s bitter, she’s old, she’s warped, shes a netrunner, shes almost a cyberpsycho if not one already,,,, her and saburo get along. she’s EVIL. But she does have 1 son that she loves :( cuts her up that he’s basically cut her off completely :(

– SOFTEST OC.

kas adaar [dai]

Kas and I who literally had a name change fight today bc his original name (Tibbalt) just wasn’t making sense. But he is one of the kindest, loveliest ocs in my collection. He bakes, he cleaves enemies with his greataxe, he has good advice, and deals with skyholds various issues. He’s a born leader and the ideal inquisitor. He’s a big advocate for peace .

– MOST ALOOF/STANDOFFISH OC.

gwenyth lavellan [dai]

NOW THIS is my most babiest girl. my babybabygirl. She went through a lot as a young girl, basically trained into a 24/7 bodyguard for her clans keeper until the enclave happened. Gwen and being inquisitor…Bad mix. She’s aggressive, argumentative, violent, and shockingly strong. With enough genuine support and socialization she starts to relax and open up a little. And her relationship with Morrigan…..i love valenzo but gwen and morrigan are….Like wow. She mellows out into the aloof prickly bestie they all need. But U still never know what she’s thinking and if she’ll backhand u or not.

– DUMBEST (AFFECTIONATE) OC.

nizana daevarran [bg3]

Shes in love with a morally dubious vampire. Loves garlic bread. She’s a rogue. Last play through she lost both her eyes. BABYGIRL IS NOT VERY SMART. BUT SHES SO PRETTY and likeable. voted most likely to say something dumb.

– SMARTEST OC.

lorenzo vecchioni [cp77]

Even tho Lorenzo presents as the most ridiculous man alive, and acts like it, he is definitely my smartest main oc period. He is literally an engineer. LIKE AJDJFKN He’s still gotta go to school but likes. That’s an engineer right there. He’s intelligent in so many ways. Husband material ‼️‼️‼️

– OC YOU'D BE BEST FRIENDS WITH IRL.

jade faulkner [cp77]

sweet lovely jade and i would get along i think. She’s easy going and willing to get along with almost anybody so. We’d hang out in the garage bc shes a lil grease rat. :3 Also video games. She loves a good game.

[writteninlunarlight-years]

hi luna! i was the anon you matched with james potter thank you so much i lovedd it 🫶🫶 i was wondering if you could do another one but golden era? you totally don’t have to but if u do take ur time :) 

i’m female she/they and i am bi

i’m black i have dark brown eyes and long lower-back length braids. i have a long head but really high cheekbones. i’m 5’3” (160 centimeter). i have a small frame and a larger chest. i loveee to dress super girly (almost cottagecore or coquette) but i often time time find myself looking and acting a bit masculine

INFP(MBTI) and 9w1(Enneagram)

quiet, reserved , very private and don’t like to open up to people until i know them VERY well, sensitive, emotional, empathetic, self-effacing, good at giving advice, listener, my friends are very loud because i am so quiet(ying/yang), daydreamer

i LOVE photography, i love fashion and bows, i love gold and pearled jewelry, i love cherries and any kind of pasta, billie eilish, singing, science, online shopping, stuffed animals, baking

i hate hypocrisy, i hate food waste, i don’t like confrontation or arguing, i don’t liek tomatoes, i don’t like waiting(impatient), learning history, the sun/bright lights bc i’m practically a vampire

i have a really messed up family and i’m terrified of losing relationships or people i love even though i feel like i am 24/7(attachment issues) 🙂❤️‍🩹 i also love fighting hunger and food waste

sry that was a lot

Okay, I want to stick with the opposites attract motif I chose for you initially; with James, it was opposite personalities but the same morals. With this character, I have the same personality but opposite morals. Don't worry. You can soften this cold snake up and show him the light. ~~~~~ MATCHUPS ~~~~~

HARRY POTTER ( Golden Era)

Blaise Zabini

~~~~~ HEADCANON ~~~~~

Blaise was a cold man, a frigid man indeed. He rarely talked to his own friends, let alone outsiders. Something about you, though, was different.

You were like a combination of all the good things in the world, and someone as dark as him, cursed to assist his family in heinous acts, didn't see it fair to taint your innocence at all.

Yet you appeared in his mind constantly. After meeting you, he began to look at life through a new lens. He saw color and light in his dreary life.

Blaise didn't know why, but he sought out your friendship; at first, it was simple to help with studying, eat together, then Hogsmeade trips.

Blaise also experienced your rough side the one time Draco decided to call out your growing relationship. Before Blaise could say anything, you had already knocked Draco down a few pegs, literally and metaphorically.

One time, Draco took everyone to a posh clothing store, and all he could be drawn to were the bows and dresses he knew you would look good in.

It took him forever to confess, and it extended into the fourth year when it clicked that he couldn't stand others flirting with you. He blew a fuse in the Slytherin common room when he heard Ron was taking you to the Yule Ball, even if it was just as friends.

When you two finally started dating, it was clear that you were like the warm sun, and he was like the cold moon.

Blaise never pushed you to open up fast. He wanted to take things slow and let you know him for who he is, not what his family is.

~~~~~ BLURB ~~~~~

This year, it was a cold winter at Hogwarts; a blizzard had overtaken the area and caused a fresh, pure white blanket to coat the castle grounds. Blaise felt at peace in the cold, like nothing could hurt him here, a perfect normal. For you, though, the cold was delicate, nothing too horrible; however, the real issue was picking an outfit that would work with the cold weather. Though most of Hogwarts was tucked up indoors, wrapped in blankets or playing games by the fire, most still sought to use their weekend to go to Hogsmeade. Settling on an outfit with thick stockings and tights, you went to the meeting place.

As you approached, you saw Blaise staring into space, deep in thought. It wasn't uncommon for you and him to be the first of his friends to show up at the meeting point, giving you two time to talk without Draco's nagging. Once by his side, Blaise pulled from his thoughts, turning to you and extending a smile. He only ever smiled when it was the two of you; he was always stoic any other time. "Hello, princess, how are you today?" You smiled back, extending your gloved hand to him. "I am fine though you look like you have seen better days, everything alright?"

Blaise nodded, pulling you closer to him, "I'm better now that you are here. The others should be joining soon." You nodded as well, enjoying the peaceful silence once again. The silence was soon interrupted by the loudness of the other four coming to join the trip to Hogsmeade. Pansy, Crabbe, Goyle, and Draco were on a rant about the Gryffindor trio. Rolling your eyes, trying to avoid another round of conflict with Draco, you turned to Blaise, "Promise me the minute we can evade them, we will." The only response you got from Blaise was a hearty laugh, surprising you and the others there. Who knew his laugh would be the exact opposite of his cold exterior.

~~~~~ EXTRA ~~~~~

(NEWTs had begun, and everyone was deep into studying, leaving the whole year exhausted day in and day out. Blaise was no exception. He lay there passed out on the Slytherin couch, you sitting on the floor below him reading, making sure no one woke him.)

Y/N: (humming a gentle tune)

Crabbe: Y/N GUESS- (a book went flying across the room before Crabbe retreated)

Goyle: (Has a slew of musical instruments following him) Guys, look what- ( A heeled boot went through the air )

Pansy: Y/N, the boys have all gone and complained to Draco you are hitting them...

Y/N: That's my problem because? They should learn to read a room.

Pansy: Yeah, but Draco can be-

Draco: Y/N THAT IS TO FAR JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE BLAISE PARTNER DOESN'T ME- (This time a black dress shoe was thrown square in his face)

Blaise: Can you guys please let a man sleep around here.