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hellodropbear · 2 days

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like she used to

alexia putellas x sister

i have been writing this for ages and it has just sat in my documents folder since january. i don't usually post stuff i write so this will probably get taken down at some point. i've written 13k words so far but this is just the first 4k.

~~~~~~

I hadn't expected to get the call up, not at all really. But Mapi tore her meniscus and apparently the first team found themselves in need of a backup centre back and I was the best option from the B team. It's a compliment, really. Mami is very proud of me and she is excited for me and my sister to play together in a few weeks, even though she is still recovering from her surgery and I will probably not make it off the bench. I am only 15 and 10 months, usually they wait until you are at least 16 and a bit before you can play.

But, I don't really know how to feel. Thankfully Alexia won't be in training with me for now and I try to avoid thinking about what will happen when she eventually gets better and I have to face her again.

Alexia is my older sister by a lot. There's a 14 year age gap between us and I used to completely and utterly idolise her. She and Alba were two superheroes, always by my side when I needed them. I put them on a pedestal like they were the greatest human beings to ever walk the planet. To me back then, they were.

I was only four when my father died. All I remember from that time was the big black invisible sheet that hung outside his study and the dark and scary emotions that swallowed our house whole. Alba and Alexia would argue about who got to cuddle me at night and I was so unaware what was happening that I would happily agree, wiping away their tears when it all got too much.

The death of our father made our family unit stronger. Mami, Ale, Alba and Elena - it was all any of us needed and we supported each other in whatever ways we could.

Mami had to pick up more shifts at her job, so she couldn't pick me up from school. Alexia had just got her license so she would come in a break during training and pick me up in her training gear.

Alexia didn't have time to drop me off at home so I would sit and watch the training with whoever wanted to give me company when they were injured.

Most days, Alba would come and pick me up and take me on the bus all the way home. She would play cartoons on the TV as she sat at the table and did school work. Some days, when she had the time she would sit with me and watch Alexia's training and we'd all go home together. Alba used to say she enjoyed the training. Looking back, I think she just wanted a free ride home and an excuse to not do her homework.

As I grew up, everything just worked. Alexia and Alba were still living at home as a support to Mami and everything was perfect. My sisters were my idols, my Mami was my shining star. She still is. She would do anything for her daughters, as long as it meant we were all happy.

That is why it has been so hard for her over the past two years.

I have not been happy, not really. My football has been thriving, I have represented my country in the under 17 age group and I am a consistent starter idol the Barcelona B team. I spent two years in La Masia before they sent me to the B team last year and I have only been improving since. Everything is going well. Mami says I have had a better start to my career than Alexia did.

Maybe that is why Alexia hates me. Maybe Mami is just saying that to make me feel better about it.

Alexia and I, despite the 14 year age gap, were always inseparable - for the first 12 years of my life. She was at every single school event, football game, she picked me up from trainings when she could and would train me herself in the garden. We shared a common passion that Alba was not interested in at all - we both love football, we eat, sleep and breath it. Football is everything. She was the one who gave me that mentality.

"Football is life, Lena, you are lucky you are so good because now you also get to live football and hermanita, it is the most incredible thing."

She had whispered that to me when I was 11. We were sat on the beach, a place we visited frequently throughout my childhood, both of us staring out at the reflection of the moon on the sea. Alba was fast asleep, her head in Alexia's lap as she snored lightly, completely oblivious to our conversation.

It all fell apart over three years ago, although I don't have the first clue as to why.

It was not an explicit event that ruined everything, more my older sister growing up and flying the nest that was so secure and established over years and years of shared success, happiness, failure and grief. She moved out of home long before that, but her split with Jenni upset her, I think, a great deal. I wouldn't know because she didn't really tell me anything - that was strictly Alba's business.

I didn't even know they had broken up until 5 months after it actually happened.

"Mami, why does Jenni never come over any more?"

It was an innocent and normal question, but the look on my mother's face told me everything. Everything about Jenni and everything about my sister.

I think that was the first knock. She hadn't done anything wrong but I had loved Jenni and Jenni had loved me. I would have thought that she would have told me they broke up. Maybe she didn't want to, maybe she just forgot. She does a lot of that these days.

Before she and Jenni broke up, she still came to all of my games. She never missed one game before I transferred to La Masia and would insist on taking me out to ice cream after every one. She would tease me for not scoring like she does, even though I play as a centre back.

"You need some training from Mapi, she is a centre back and has the most lethal free kick, hermanita! She is the best defender I have played with, but don't tell her I said that. I think you will grow up to be better than her."

She was excited that day, I had made a few good saves and I think that was the first time she really saw that I had the potential to be great.

I remember the first game she was late to. I noticed immediately but we both pretended she was on time - she only made it to the last 10 minutes but I put it down as traffic or being caught up at training. She was busy, it takes a lot to be La Reina.

I remember the first game she missed entirely. She wasn't there at the beginning and she wasn't there at the end. I was 13 and I didn't have a phone yet so I couldn't call Mami and ask her to come pick me up because Alexia was too busy. I told myself it was because she was too busy. I didn't want to say she had forgotten because that was too hard for me to handle.

I remember vividly sitting outside the stadium as the sun set. My coach had asked where my sister was, I was a bit stuck with what to say but I managed to convince her I was fine and she could go home.

Alba came and picked me up after work that night. It was dark and she looked sad but when I asked if she was ok, she just shrugged her shoulders and said everything would be fine.

I found out from Mami a few weeks later that Alba was sad because I had never once been forgotten anywhere. Alba saw that as the destruction of our strong family. I suppose she was not wrong.

Alexia never said anything about that game but she was at the next. She didn't take me out for ice cream after, instead patting my head and telling me she would drop me off at Mami's work.

"I have things to do, Elena, I am very busy. Hopefully soon Mami will let you catch the bus on your own. Maybe Alba can take you soon so you know the correct routes."

Her words hurt more than I could admit to myself, I told myself to stop being pathetic. Mami asked why I was crying when I walked into her office. I told her I had played terribly and she comforted me. I think she knew I was lying. I think that is why she had tears in her eyes when she released me from her grip-like hold.

Since that day, Alexia has been to 3 of my games. She went to one more of my old club games but she was sat beside Alba, her eyes glued to her phone the entire match. I was so unfocused that the ball deflected off my face and we conceded. I was taken off with a bleeding nose but when I looked up in the stands, my sister was still staring at her phone. Alba had run down the stairs and was by my side when I entered the little sick bay.

I cried then too. Most people thought it was because of the bleeding nose or the conceded goal. Alba knew that wasn't the real reason.

The penultimate game she watched was the final of the under 15s Catalonia cup. I don't know what she did during the game because Mami told me not to look up. She said she didn't want me to get distracted but I think she meant to say she didn't want me to get hurt.

I think I still idolised Alexia at that point in time. She was still my older sister and she was still the best player in the world. She still had weekly dinners at home, although she wouldn't sit next to me and sneakily take all the food I didn't want off my plate anymore. She stopped staying to watch a movie after dinner even though my favourite part of the week was falling asleep in her lap as her hands combed softly through my hair.

I remember when I was accepted into La Masia, Mami held a nice big dinner. It was right in the middle of covid so it was technically illegal, but we had a lot of my family over. Mami invited a few of the Barcelona girls as well and Mapi and Leila reminded me of what it used to be like before Alexia stopped loving me.

The reminder of the before was more painful than I liked to admit, and the night ended when the tears that had been burning in the back of my eyes finally spilled out as I was talking to Mapi.

She immediately pulled me into her arms and asked what was wrong and I struggled to find a lie that would be believable.

I settled on saying I was upset about everything changing - which I suppose was true.

I remember Alexia looking mortified and breaking eye contact as soon as I looked at her. She told me off that evening when Mami was in the shower and Alba was talking to someone else. She told me I needed to be grateful for everything I have been given and that she paved the way for me.

It was even worse when she said I would never achieve the things she has. She said it was because I didn't have the mentality that she did, that I had it all so easy.

It hurt the most when she told me she was disappointed in the person I was.

"I hope we never share a shirt, Elena, because the day you play in the first Barcelona team is the day that we have run out of players. It will mean that football players are week and female footballers can not be weak. You do not have it in you to be like me, to do what I have done to get to where I am."

The venom in her voice sent a cold shiver down my spine and I felt like I had been stabbed. I didn't cry that time. I waited until I was in my bedroom to sob my heart out.

The last time she ever watched me play was the next day, but she didn't have an option not to. I played terribly, my first game as a La Masia student, my sisters words repeating over and over in my head.

That was really what tipped the relationship I once shared with Alexia on its head. The pedestal I had put her on was destroyed and suddenly she was just another player. I barely saw her as my sister any more. She couldn't love me, you wouldn't be able to hurt someone you love so much.

I have barely seen her since. She still comes to our family dinners on Thursday nights - she still very much loves Alba and our Mami. But I tell Mami that I have training with Barcelona B late on Thursdays. It finishes at 6 and dinner starts at 7, but I just organise to go to my friends' houses for dinner instead.

Sometimes we both have dinner together at home, but it is awkward and I hate it. I think she has probably forgotten about what she said to me in June of 2021, but I don't think I will ever be able to.

She doesn't like me, but it's ok because I have learnt to accept that. But I will never not love my sister because she was once everything to me.

~~~~~~

"Pequena Putellas!" Patri's excited shriek is what welcomes me into the dressing room on my first day. She tackles me into a hug and squeezes me tight. "It has been such a long time, mi favorita!"

The last time I saw Patri was only last year at the champions league final. I had sat with my whole family but I went to the bathroom when everyone else went and spoke to the players. I don't think Patri would have seen me.

I can only smile as she continues.

"I remember you as the little 8 year old who would sit and watch our training sessions after school! I was so confused by you when I first arrived here, you know. I remember the first time Ale let you play a game with us and you were so good!"

"Nobody doubted that you would be on this team one day!" A new voice entered the conversation.

"Marta!" I hugged the brunette closely. She was always one of my favourites.

"I am proud of you, pequena putellas."

Her words are familiar as I have heard them out of my mothers voice time and time again my whole life. But they seem foreign coming from Marta and it is an unwanted reminder of my sister. I don't know why - maybe it is because I have always associated this Barcelona team with her. I don't remember the last time she said she was proud of me.

I don't remember the last time she said anything to me, really.

"Gracias, Marta, I have missed you." I bury my head into her neck and she holds me closer.

"You have not been around as much since you transferred to La Masia. I wanted to come and watch but Ale never extended an invitation and I didn't want to overstep." I shake my heads at her words and she frowns.

"Alexia doesn't have time for my games, she hasn't for a while. It takes a lot to be La Reina."

Marta's frown deepens at my words and the attention of a few spanish players is captured. I should have spoken quieter, I forgot how many people in here speak catalan.

"It is ok, she is very supportive, but she just can't come to my games. She makes it up in other ways." I am lying through my teeth but Marta will never know.

"I am sure, she must be very proud of you, being selected in this team for the first time, it is a big deal, you are very young."

All I can do is nod, my energy is all being put into holding back my own tears. I don't know if Mami told her. I don't know if Alexia even knows that I was selected.

"Get changed now, I am sure Jona will want to talk to you before the session, especially with the game tomorrow."

I nod again as Marta pats me on the back and walk over to the cubby that says my name. It feels a bit surreal, really.

I never really thought I would see my name on a Barcelona cubby, accompanied by my new number that I chose in the meeting a few days ago. It was always a dream, but I never thought it was achievable. Alexia always seemed like a superstar, a superhuman of sorts and I would never reach that kind of level.

But here I am in the team that I always wanted to be in - in no way am I anywhere near my sisters level but I am on my way to being like her. I just wish she cared. I wish she was proud of me like Marta is.

Her cubby sits across from me and I try to tear my eyes from it but it sits and stares right back at me. I feel like an intruder in Alexia's space, this is not for me, she would not want me to be here.

I tie my laces quickly after that and head out onto the pitches to begin training.

I have trained with the first team twice before, but the Barcelona Bs were always slightly seperate and we could keep our distance from the first players. Jonatan is a familiar face and I feel comfortable as he smiles and me and motions for me to follow the others to the gym.

It is weird, being promoted within my own club. I am not so much a new signing, but a replacement - I am not good enough to be in the first team but they had no other options when Mapi injured herself.

I used to worry that people would say I only get opportunities because my last name is Putellas. When my sister told me I was weak all those years ago, that idea sort of cemented in my head, I suppose.

I never told my Mami what her daughter said to me because it would upset her. I told Alba half of it when she found me crying in my room a few days later but made her promise to not tell anyone. She couldn't say anything to Mami, Alexia, anyone at all because it would only make Alexia think I was weaker.

She was furious and tried to tell me it was untrue but it had already been said. I believed Alexia's word more than anyone else. To me, she was a superhuman.

But when I spoke to Jonatan a few days ago he made me feel like I was wanted within this squad. He made it clear that he wants me to integrate completely into the squad in the next few years and that he can see me playing soon even though I am only 15.

I told him I didn't want anything special because of my surname.

He told me that he chose me because of my first name.

"Elena Putellas," he said with a grin, "you may be as good as her, but you are not your sister. This is a professional environment. As long as you perform, which I know you will, nobody will care what your name is."

It was a big boost to my confidence.

Aitana Bonmati caught up to me quickly as I walked to the gym.

"You are big now." I chuckled but did not look over, I didn't need to really. "But not that big. You are only 15, si?"

"Yes, I am 15."

I met Aitana when she first joined the club. She always used to say that she would steal me and take me home with her because she thought I was adorable. It is strange that I am now sort of in the same team as her.

She started playing for the first team when I was 8. I was older then, I played my own football and liked staying with Alexia so I could kick a ball around with her teammates when they were done.

Aitana was one of the few who would stay every time I was there. When Alexia didn't want to wait she would drive me home herself, all the way to the other side of Barcelona. We would always stop for ice cream on the way home.

"I have not seen you in too long, Lena. I have missed you a lot but you have been doing very well in the B team. I am very proud and I take credit for your abilities." She spoke in such a dead pan voice but it was somehow still filled with emotion.

"I have missed you too, ABC." It was a nickname I gave her the first time she drove me home. I had been learning about the alphabet in English class and had the little song stuck in my head when she told me her full name. I used to sing her initials in the tune of the song but it quickly merged to me just saying the three letters.

"I have been to a few of your games, you know?"

I look at her in confusion, I have never seen her there. She just nods.

"Alexia never invited any of us but she was never at the ones I went to so I would sit in the stands with a hat and glasses so people wouldn't recognise me, but I was there. I went to your La Masia games as well. You have become a phenomenal player, Lena."

She has always spoken with such sincerity. I have missed her a lot.

"Maybe you can drop me off at home again tonight? I have missed you."

She chuckles and pulls me into a side hug.

"I was waiting for you to ask, little Lena. Oh you are not so little any more!"

I chuckle as well and let my head fall onto her shoulder as we enter the gym. My eyes scan the room, looking at all of the players on their equipment, nerves quickly settling inside me.

"Don't worry, it's all easy." Aitana seems to read my mind. "Just come with me and I will show you how to do everything. It will become second nature in the next few days."

The gym session went quickly as I was taught all the different exercises. I was familiar with most of them, having done a very similar program in the past with the B team.

We went out onto the field to do some drills and I played well. Jonatan was impressed and so were the first players. My teammates? Maybe, not quite, I don't think. I still haven't been in a team list, so I suppose I'll be their teammate when that eventually happens.

It wasn't until we reached the ice cream shop that Aitana started asking me all the awkward questions. I should have seen it coming.

"Why do you never come to our games anymore, Lena?" I was very grateful for the scoops of gelato in my hands. Eating it delayed my response as I tried to come up with something to say. I shrug as I eat.

I can not say it is because I do not get along with Alexia. It is too hard for me to say now, even after all these years.

"I'm not sure. I suppose I got busy with my own training and school. I have been to a few but I usually go home with Alba pretty quickly after they finish." It is only half a lie but she just shrugs, apparently not believing my words.

"And why is it that I am driving you home from your first ever first team training? I thought Alexia would have wanted to." I anticipated a question like this but that does not mean I wanted her to actually ask it.

"Alexia is busy." I hope that Aitana understands I don't want to talk about it. I haven't spoken about my broken relationship with my sister to anyone. I think she can sense something is wrong though, because she puts her spoon back into her ice cream and grabs my arm so I am staring right at her.

"If you ever want to talk, I am right here, Lena. I know you don't like people knowing what is going on inside that crazy head of yours but it is good to release your feelings."

She definitely knows something is wrong so I appreciate her not pushing.

"I have outlets, I play football, I play the piano, I am ok, aitana, I really am."

She eyed me as if to say she didn't believe me but dropped the topic anyway.

"When did you get so good?"

#woso fanfics #woso #woso imagine #alexia putellas #putellas!reader #alexia putellas x reader #barca femeni #fcb femeni #alexia putellas imagine

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faerytreealtars · 2 days

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How To Reach Your Destined Role? ~ Advice & Guidance on your journey through life.

Hi everyone, I'm finally back with another Pick a card! This time I am doing the PAC that the majority voted for and it is all about who are you destined to be? How can you get to that level? Or perhaps you already are there? Pick an image which draws you in and that shall be your pile!

This PAC took a lot longer to get around to than I would have hoped, but I had to put myself first as I'm sure you will understand between battling mental health struggles and then physical ailments, which have still not cleared up but hopefully I will get there soon! Still, I feel brighter and more energized mentally so I thought it was about time to get back on the horse, so to speak anyway without further rambling shall we get into the piles...

[ Image credit goes to ilikefairies ]

Pile One ~

[ Cards drawn: The Magician, The lovers, three of swords & the sun.]

[ Top Of Deck - Nine of cups. ]

Who are you meant to be: You are meant to be a free-spirited soul so do not worry about rushing into choices of who or what you are meant to be. Before I had even pulled any cards I heard the message in my head that you have lots of opportunities in this life and you can choose to be many different versions of yourself, many people get stuck into the mindset that there is only one version of themselves that can exist in this world but that is untrue, it is up to you who you want to be, exist in a way that brings you happiness. Now based on the image you chose and the messages the cards are sharing with me, I feel you are someone who is meant to bring more love, light and hope into this world by merely existing you do this but if you wish to be more proactive then read the next part and hopefully the messages will resonate for you.

How to get there: You need to become more aware of your power in this world, and how your actions and emotions can influence your days. How your thought patterns can affect your choices and beliefs. They either will push you onwards towards happiness and success or hold you back in stagnation and fear but when you work on finding your footing, grounding more in the present moment and working on having more confidence in yourself. seeing yourself as worthy and lovable on the bad days as well as the good then you come closer to the higher power that connects you with your soul. With the three of swords present you have gone through much despair and heartbreak, it has toughened you to this world which can indeed be cruel and though those experiences however sorrowful they were gave you much more perspective and wisdom on human nature and your own inner world they were not meant as punishment or as a way to put out your light. With the sun following this card I can tell that it is your loving energy and the fact you feel so deeply that can power you on to create brighter days not just for yourself but for others too, do not fear sharing your experiences or using them in your creations or hobbies to add inspiration to others life. All in all, I can see you living a good life, not without its challenges but a life like that is unlikely and perhaps boring! The final advice I hear is to keep working on yourself, masterpieces cannot be rushed and you should focus on what intrigues and brings you happiness in the moment, don't worry about having it all figured out too soon. Best of luck, my dear pile one!

Pile Two ~

[Cards drawn: Page of cups, Knight of cups, the Star & eight of swords]

[Top of the Deck: Ten of Cups]

Who are you meant to be: Okay, woah Pile two your energy is so happy and bright I love it thank you for letting me bask in it for a while!! If no one ever tells you that you are wonderful and lovable then let me please be the one to tell you now: You are wonderful and lovable in so many ways, thank you for existing!! Anyway on with your reading. So we have a lot of water energy going on here so right off the bat I can tell you are meant to be someone who values and uplifts your own as well as others' emotions. I keep hearing therapist in my mind and though I never intended this reading to be about careers perhaps that is a job you feel drawn to or perhaps you already seem to act like everyone's personal therapist in your day-to-day life. (I know that can get tiring so do put your own wants, needs and boundaries first if you feel that others are putting too much upon you.) I am now also hearing teacher and parent so yeah it may be in your destiny to help shape and mould the next generation into as bright and uplifting a soul as you are yourself. Now in a more general sense, I can see you are meant to be someone who always strives first to open others' eyes to truths in the world that others may want to turn a blind eye to, sometimes this may make you feel alienated and insecure of yourself but keep striving on and never back down for those who wish to put your down like to see you trapped in your insecurity and doubt it allows them to get away with all the malice they put into the world but you are far bolder and brighter than them and your presence, voice and actions help to bring forward a more hopeful future.

How to get there: Honestly Pile two I feel you are already on your way to getting there without much guidance from anyone else but I will say keep listening and feeling your emotions, honouring them as truth for it is how your intuition seems to let itself be heard. Keep working on your communication skills for I feel they are a skill you will be using quite a lot in the future or perhaps you already do. Finally don't be afraid of having a bad day, you are allowed to feel negative about things and it's totally okay to lean on others as much as they lean on you. Don't get so caught up in overthinking and doubts, or even worries about how to help others sometimes we have to let others make it through their own lessons in life, it is like the baby turtles who hatch on the beach and must make it to the sea on their own power and will, not all of them will make it but we can't intervene less we can cause more harm than good. That's all I'm getting for you pile two. I wish you the best and again I just love your energy so keep being you because it brings so much happiness to the world.

Pile Three ~

[ Cards drawn: The magician, The high priestess, seven of pentacles, four of cups ]

[ Top of the deck: The Tower ]

Who are you meant to be: You are meant to be someone who changes, themselves and the world. You are like a phoenix who rises from the ashes and is rebirthed as a newer, better you after every fall. I am also getting the visual of a chameleon who changes to fit their environment. This at times may have left to feeling confused or a sense of imposter syndrome but do not fear it is a skill and talent all in itself and it is not a wrong thing to be doing. It allows others to feel more comfortable around you so then in turn you can aid them in bettering themselves. Now to focus more on you, who this reading is meant to be helping I can see you are meant to a more spiritually in tune individual who listens and honours their mystical power, of which you have a lot. I feel many of you have been shamed or forced into behaving "sensibly" when you try to show this part of yourself as many cannot understand it and feel it doesn't help with the real world. Please stop listening to them, you would not have this connection to your higher self and the divine if it was not meant to benefit you and the world in some way. So feel free to behave as "woo-hoo" as you wish, the ones who value and respect you will stick around and those who behave in ways that try to condition and control you will eventually leave and you will be all the better for it!

How to get there: Work on listening to your intuition more, remember that intuition is a message that carries calm energy while anxiety will make you feel frantic and in the need to rush. You do not need to rush. As the seven pentacles show you need to cultivate patience and wait for the seed to grow. Trust that all that you are doing, even if at times it is having to sit and do nothing is helping to nurture and give your dreams and goals the best chance of success. I also feel you need to take more time to give yourself mental rest, let your mind grow still and quiet, focus on one thing at a time and seek more time for meditation. This in turn may help you feel more grounded and grateful for all you already have and all you have already achieved. Finally do not fear the tower falling, in the midst of the chaos it may feel like the end but you will begin to see it is simply the clearing of the unneeded and stagnated to allow for the creation of the brighter and better. From it you will always become wiser, stronger and yes even kinder.

I wish the best to all of you in pile three, I know the days may seem long and hard but try to focus on the simple gratitudes and you will begin to see the sun beam from behind the clouds. Until next time, Love Fae.

#divination #cartomancy #tarot #tarotblr #channeling #♡ messages channelled from the divine ♡#pick a card #pac #free tarot reading #tarot readers #tarot cards #tarotcommunity #tarot witch #pick a reading #pick a card reading #pick a card tarot #how to reach your destined role pac #destiny tarot

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monstersflashlight · 1 day

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Hi :) Uhmm ... I like how you write, these past few days it become my obsession and joy. ( I am so sorry, I am so bad at giving compliments!)

Uhmmm .... If I may be so bold I would like to share an idea? I just thought about absolutely cocky and arogant male, womanizer Cerberos. The reader has love/hate relationship towards him. Well and after one wild party, he would corner reader and showed them his true form. And holding onto his word to rock reader´s world (quite literally)

Hi! I'm so glad you enjoy my content, it means the world. Sorry for the long wait, adult life sucks so bad. Also, I added the anon question, hope you don’t mind. The idea that Cerberus is the one you hit on when tipsy sounds so cute to let it pass. I took the liberty to make cerberus a type of monster, so they’re just one of them and not THE cerberus, you know. I imagine they’re like a werewolf but with three heads, and like not human form, just a wolfy-guy with three heads. Each head talks separately, but in this there’s no difference between them to not make it hard to follow, but I think it’s quite good. Hope you enjoy! <3

Three heads are better than one

Cerberus (they/them) x fem!reader || fingering, public sex, dirty talk

When a cerberus started to work on your law firm, you two hit it the wrong way from the start. You were a top tier lawyer and they couldn’t understand that a human could be better than them. Three heads think better than one, how could a puny human like you be better than them? But you were, and it infuriated them. But it also fueled your banter with so much sexual tension you could taste it. But you didn’t do anything about it because everyone at the office knew they were a womanizer, they had a new girl every few days and never dated anyone. They were just there for the sex. Or that’s what everyone at the office said. But dang you wanted to hit it off with them so bad, you needed to know what their three mouths tasted like, how would it be to have three brains focused on your pleasure… That sounded delicious in the best possible way.

So when you catch them and their friends in a bar, after a few drinks, you think it’s time. You approach them and their friends at the end of the bar, ready to do something about your pent up sexual tension. You two have been dancing around each other for what feels like ages, and your tipsy brain thinks the best moment to do something about it is right now, right there. When you get closer, you can hear their friends making fun of them and elbowing them as they all giggle, pointing at you. You add a little bit of movement to your hips and hope it doesn’t look too ridiculous.

“Hi darling, how’s your night going?” You touch their pecs as all three of their heads focus on you. You blush, but keep caressing their torso over their shirt, you squeeze a bit and they slap your hand softly.

“Human, get lost.” You can’t understand how their voice can sound so harsh and so sexy at the same time, you can feel your panties melting. Maybe the alcohol has a part to blame, drinking always made you horny, and today is not different.

You pout, bating your lashes in your best puppy look. “Why are you always so mean?” Their three heads blink slowly at you, almost took out balance by your question.

“What? We’re not mean, you are just too soft,” they answer. You scoff, if they want to play that game you can give as better as receive. Uh, receiving… That’s exactly what you want. In a sexy way, against a wall if possible. They look like they can lift you up and fuck you.

“I’m not soft. I’m human. And you are mean.” You think you heard him say something about how they’re already aware that you are human, but you aren’t sure, the bar is really loud and the world is spinning around you.

“You need to go away before we do something all of us would regret.” Their central head is the one doing the talking, but the other two nod along.

“I don’t want to.” You know you sound bratty and entitled, but you are horny and everyone says they’re a womanizer, why are they not womanizing you? “You don’t like humans, is that it?”

“Trust me, they like humans. They like them reeeeeal good.” One of their friends says behind them. All of them laugh, but your coworkers are looking at you like they are going to dig a hole through your body just with their eyes.

“Come with me.” They sound fed up, like they are going to scold you and it’s going to feel awful. But your tipsy brain doesn’t process it fully, so you follow them without questioning. They lead you to the back of the bar, the hallway that leads to the bathroom. The music is softer there, you can listen to your own brain better.

They push you against the wall, they body pressing against your front. You shiver, anticipation filling your guts and their low growl making you whimper. “We can smell how wet you are, we can almost taste your desire. You are too tempting for your own good, honey.” You think the pet name was condescending every time they used it before, but at that moment, it sounds like a caress.

Their hands found the edge of your skirt as they grab your leg and position it against their hip. You are open and exposed, your skirt riding up and your soaked panties in the open. You whine again. You never felt as dirty and naughty as you do now, it’s maddening. They cress the outside of your thigh as they rock their hips against you, letting you feel their cock through your panties. You moan loudly.

“Fuck me, fuck me, fuck me, please.” You know you’d be embarrassed beyond belief about it the next morning, but right now you don’t care. You can only think about how good their finger feels inside of you, and how much you wish that was their cock. When they move your panties to the side and push one finger inside your needy pussy, you cry out.

“Not here, little human.” They press against your G-spot, making your knees buckle under you. They grab your waist and holds you pressed against the wall as you pant. “If tomorrow you feel like this again, then we can talk.” They said, their fingers slowly thrusting into you.

“What?” You ask, trying to focus on their words and not the wonders they’re doing on your pussy. Their thumb rolls over your clit and you have to bite on your tongue to stop yourself from screaming. It feels so good. You start to move your hips at the rhythm of their thrusts.

“We’ve been waiting forever to get your attention, We’re not wasting it on a quick fuck on a bar.” Their voice sounds serious and you feel confused as fuck. What are they talking about? They hate you, they always pick stupid fights with you over the silliest things.

“What?” You ask, trying to grab their hand but holding onto their shoulders, moving your hips faster. The rational part of you is not present, only your whore-ish part.

“We’ve been waiting to ask you out but we thought you wouldn’t want us.” They mutter that under their breath, you barely catch it.

“What?” You ask, once more. Are they saying they like you? They wanted to ask you out? But… But the gossip. They said they didn’t date, you never saw them with anybody, just random hookups. “What?” You ask again.

“You… We… We have a bit of a human kink with you, okay? You are so soft and so pretty. We can’t stop thinking about you. And then you get up in front of the judge and good lord do you look good. You look magnificent.” Their voice sounds amazed, like they are telling the truth and they truly like you. What the fuck?

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Your question is lost when their thumb starts rubbing against your clit. You think they answer something, but your brain is fuzzy with pleasure. “Stop touching my clit I can’t focus.” You whisper, trying to look at them and see if they aren’t lying. There’s no way they want you, is it?

“What if we don’t want you to focus? What if we want you coming around our fingers until you are crying out how much you love it? How much you like being stretched in public by us?” You moan so loud they have to cover your mouth with their unoccupied hand. “Shhh, be quiet. You don’t want us to get caught, do you?” Your pussy involuntarily clenches around their fingers. “Oh, naughty girl, you do want to get caught. Does that excite you? Do you want everyone to see how improper you really are? You are such a good lawyer but then you part your legs for us in the back of the bar… Such a dirty, dirty woman.” You shiver, your juices flowing around their fingers. You’ve never been as turned on as you are right there, their fingers feel divine and you are so fucking close.

“Please…” Your plea sounds pathetic and you blush, but they just smirk at you, two of their heads attacking your neck at the same time. Feeling the two sets of mouths against your neck combined with the feel of their fingers moving inside of you is getting you so wet their hand is making filthy sounds.

“You are so wet for us, so soft. I bet you taste amazing. We are going to spend so much time licking you. Do you know what they say about cerberus?” You shake your head. “We give the best head because we have three of them. Do you want to feel three tongues against your pussy, honey? Do you want to be worshiped by three heads?” The image they are painting in your head is so good you want to open your legs and ask them to do it right there. But you are so close already, their fingers feel so fantastic inside of you.

“Yes, yes, yes,” you chant, rolling your hips. They accompany your movement, getting you almost to the edge.

“Are you going to come for us? Are you going to be a good woman and come around our fingers? We can’t wait to feel you around our dicks, bet you are going to feel better than any pussy we ever had. Our first human. Our only human. What are you gonna do, honey? Do you want to suck us off?” You nod eagerly, so close. “Of course you want to, you want to be a good little human for us.” You get the feeling them calling you human is doing more for them than for you. Their human kink is playing in your favor. “Come for us, human.” They whisper against your ear as the other two heads suck on your neck.

The combination of fingers and mouths makes your body shake uncontrollably against theirs, your orgasm so good you almost fall down. You can feel your juices dripping down and soaking your panties and their fingers. They take their fingers away and you watch in amazement as they raise their hand to lick it, all three of their heads getting some. You moan as aftershocks rock your body.

They put your panties back in place and slowly lower your leg. Your legs are shaky and you grab onto their arm. Three heads smile down at you, one of them looking specially smug. They pass an arm over your shoulders and help you walk out of the hallway. “Let us take you home.” They whisper, their hold on you so hard it feels wonderful. It feels so good you could fall asleep right there. They gave you the orgasm of your life and on top of it, they are sweet about it. You judged them so bad you feel like shit. You can always make it up to them at some point. You add it to your mental list of things to do in the morning, even though you know you won’t remember.

“There’s no need.” You try to argue, without any force behind your words. You really want to spend more time with them.

“We want to.” Their voice is final, you know that tone. That’s the tone they use in court, and you know you can’t win against it.

They drive you home as you fidget with your rings, nervous after what happened, after what they said. You want to run, to break the silence, but you are speechless. You don’t know what to say and the alcohol you had is kicking you really hard. You feel sleepy and tired, more than ready to go to bed.

They follow you to your house, opening your door and leading you to your bedroom where they help you get undressed. You think they are going to do something more, but they barely touch your naked body as they cover you with a blanket.

You feel three soft forehead kisses before they say: “We aren’t playing games with you, honey. We want to play with your pussy, yes, but not with your heart. We hope you give us a chance.” You nod, and try to answer, but your eyes are so heavy that you can’t keep them open, your brain shutting down.

When you wake up the next morning with a text saying: “We can’t wait to have you sucking our cock. And then we can go to dinner, we booked the fancy restaurant you like.” You giggle on your pillow and kick your legs. Yeah… That sounds like the start of a very fun game.

#cerberus #cerberus x reader #cerberus x human #monster #monster fucker #monster imagine #monster x human #teratophillia #monster boyfriend #monster x reader #terato #request #fem!human #banter

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sp25 · 2 days

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bunker

pairing: simon 'ghost' riley x f!reader

summary: sharing a bunker with none other than Ghost

warnings: 18+ this is sexually explicit, do not read this or interact with my blog if you're a minor. do not copy or use ai on my shit, i'll find out. consists of kissing,missionary, sex (m&f), name calling, slight breeding kink, cumming inside, cursing, doggystyle. I am not responsible for your media consumption.

a/n: got too bored today, also call it a double treat.

You had known Ghost for a good amount of time now. You were close friends. Few would even call you soulmates but Ghost’s unreadable expressions would never left you know if he actually liked you too or no. You knew you loved him. But you had to keep your desires hidden.

On one such mission, you finally got the chance to be closer. The mission was a fail. With damaged radios, the prospect of calling for extraction is out of reach. "Looks like we're stuck here for the night," Ghost mutters under his mask.

The acknowledgment of your shared seclusion amplifies the palpable tension that has been building between the two of you, like a taut wire waiting to be released—a delicate dance of unspoken emotions and desires.

The living room of the safehouse offers a modest refuge, while a single bedroom awaits you with a solitary bed. "Get some rest."

Before Ghost would walk over to the couch or leave, you took his hand in yours and softly whispered still unsure with what you are doing “Ghost..”

Ghost stops dead in his tracks, turning to face you. Your sudden act of intimacy surprises him, causing a rush of unexpected adrenaline to surge through his body—a reaction as primal as it is powerful. He looks into your eyes, lingering for a moment longer than he should.

“Stay..” you whispered, you were letting your emotions control your words. You knew that you would never again get the chance to express yourself ever again. You both would never get the chance to be alone again. This was your only chance to be his.

A flicker of desire passes through Ghost, causing his breath to quicken and his heart to race. In his mind's eye, he envisions you sharing the bed in an embrace, a vision fueled by your intimate touch.

Ghost's expression becomes more open, his gaze less guarded than before. He wants to stay, and he wants to be with you.

You cautiously moved closer to him, you knew a wrong step would make the whole situation wrong and worse.

Ghost can feel the heat of your body as you draw nearer, drawn in by your aura of warmth and closeness. He wants to feel your skin against his own, to touch and be touched.

There's a pull between the two of you, an undeniable connection that leads to one inescapable outcome.

He puts his hand on your cheek, softly caressing it. “Promise me you won’t regret it..” He says desperately hoping that you would give him the assurance he needed.

“I promise..” you stare at him with need. He shakily takes a breath in before pushing you towards a wall. Your closeness becomes a whisper of breath, teasingly tracing his jawline. His skin tingles with sensation at your gentle caress. The tension in his body mounts, the air electric with desire.

He ran his hands down your body, caressing you gently. His touch was tentative but tender and the cold of his hands left a trail of goosebumps in their wake. His touch igniting the subdued desire you, making you unable to control your moan.

His lips part slightly, inviting you closer. His breathing becomes erratic, the beat of his heart quickening as he draws in. The distance between you vanishes with each passing moment until you're only separated by the width of an inch...

He softly runs his hand through your hair before slamming his lips hard on yours. You moaned so loudly. You could feel his desperation coursing. He needed you more than you needed him.

“fuck..” he whispered as he bit your bottom lip softly. You held onto his shirt. “Mine..”, He said in your ear before leaving hickeys down your neck.

He looks back up. You could see his eyes turning dark again. He picked you up roughly, manhandling you towards the bed.

The moment finally arrives as the pair of you settle onto the bed together, your breathing intensifying with each passing moment. Ghost's arms wrap generously around you, drawing you in close to him. He cradles you, his touch gentle yet firm.

Your bodies move as one, creating a symphony of touches and caresses that creates a sensual harmony.

A wave of euphoria rushes over you as you lie in each other's arms, relishing in the physical contact and the sensation of closeness. It's an invigorating, intimate moment—your hearts pounding in unison, your breath melding together in a single rhythm.

This is what it feels like to be safe and protected, to belong in another's arms, to truly feel the intensity of connection.

He holds onto your hips tightly. You feel his right hand slip into your shirt and pulling it off. He admires every single inch of you. He easily unhooks your bra, proceeding to wet his lips to suck on one of your nipples while he flicked the other.

He moans in satisfaction, before leaving kisses from your chest to your belly. He slid his hand across your soft skin, gently tracing a path along your abdomen. His touch was timid, like a child exploring something new to him. You could feel the cold of his hand moving across your stomach, sending a shiver down your spine.

He suddenly grabbed the waistband with his fingers and pulled them off. Before, easily ripping of your panties and stuffing them in his pocket. He softly touched the your sensitive spot, groaning with desire cause how wet you were for him.

His fingers glistened with wetness, you were absolutely begging and soaking for him. He slapped your pussy few times, making you moan and whimper, which caused him to smirk.

“Mine..”, he said to you with pure desire in his eyes. He pulled off his jeans and you could immediately see the hard bulge through his underwear. This only caused you to get more wet.

He pulled it out and you were in for a delight. His cock already leaking precum. He aligned himself as he skilfully fingered you for a while. “Ready love?”, he asked with a slight sense of tease.

“Y-yes..”, you stuttered. Your words being a confirmation for him, you felt his tip slowly enter you. His tip was already making you stretch but before you could react, he pushed himself all the way in until he was balls deep making you arch your back. You could already feel his cock hitting your womb.

He let you get adjusted to his length before he started increasing his pace. “fuck..”, he groaned, feeling your walls tighten around him. His each thrust easily hit your womb, his cock was wet with how much you were dripping.

His hands gripped your hips, pulling you in closer, his body moving against yours as he started to increase his pace. His breaths were coming faster and shallower now, his breath mixing with your moans as his body moved with yours. “So fucking perfect for me..”, he groaned as you felt his pace become faster.

He kept pinching and pulling on your nipples before kissing you roughly, as you felt his hip consistently hit yours with each thrust. His aggressiveness only turned you on more.

He was desperate, his body driven by his raw, primal instincts, needing to be as close to you as physically possible, needing to claim you, and in a way, mark you as his forever. “my fucking girl..”he whispered into your ear.

He started leaving hickeys all over your neck, biting the place between your collarbone and shoulder so hard. After he finished marked, he licked that place to soothe it.

You felt like you were on euphoria. All your senses coming alive. You could feel his cock rapidly hitting your womb. You wetness overpowering as it soaked his bed. Your walls only tightening more around his cock.

He couldn't hold it back anymore, the need to claim you fully took over and he suddenly buried himself deep inside of you, his body tensing as he felt the orgasm roll over him like a wave, his breath catching in his throat. You felt his cum filling you up, making you feel all warm and fuzzy, making you squirt so hard on his cock.

He stayed where he was, relishing the feeling of being buried inside of you, his body still trembling with the aftereffects of his orgasm. He softly rested his head on your chest, his breath coming in short gasps as he whispered your name, his body still tightly wrapped around yours.

Gradually, he started to come down from the high, his body relaxing as he savored the moment. But, not pulling out, he wanted to keep all his cum inside of you, to make sure, you got pregnant. He pulled you tighter against him, his arms wrapped tightly around your body, holding onto you as he whispered softly, “I’m never letting you go…”

He softly kissed you before slapping your ass few times, making me whimper and blush. “got that?”, he whispered in your ear again. “yes sir..”, you blushed.

He smirked before turning you around so, you are laying on your chest now. You groaned and whimpered, making him slap your ass repeatedly before kneading it. “all red and pretty for me..”, he said with such intensity. You felt him lift up your hip, so he could align himself again.

“what this? you can’t be leaking my cum out my love. I gotta get you all full and pregnant”, he said that as he pushed his leaking cum back into you, before sliding himself deep in you again.

Well, round two was just about to begin.

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bonefall · 3 days

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BB!Moonpaw's Family

So, I don't rewrite arcs until they're done BUT!! HAVE NO FEAR IM HERE TO FIX IT.

You may have heard that Moonpaw's canonical family has been confirmed, Thriftear x Bayshine, and that it makes her a real doozy of inbreeding. The most important thing being that she is the product of a first cousin pair because Thriftear's father Fernsong and Bayshine's mother Sorrelstripe are full siblings.

But I am the family tree trimmer and I'm here to do a little pruning!

First of all, I've already done significant work in overhauling the ThunderClan Family Tree. Today I've made a more lightweight chart for showing off the options better, but please do go and check out the full version if you'd like to see the generations further back. It also has a link to my "diagnosis," which is handy for comparing my fixes to the problems with the canon tree.

So just to nip this in the bud; Thriftear and Bayshine are no longer first cousins in BB.

That's already fixed! I'm going to change it anyway but I just want that to be like, the first thing you know going in.

Second of all, now's a good time for a little refresher on my Three Strict Rules. These are the rules I use for overhauling the family trees; determining when cats are far enough apart, preventing one bloodline from getting too prolific, and when a fix is required.

Like before, click the link to see the rules more in-depth. Put simply, these rules are;

Three Generation Separation Cats must be three or more generations removed in order to be eligible as partners. That means they cannot share a simple grandparent, banning 1st cousin pairings. Further than that is typically allowed-- Clan sizes are too small to be more restrictive. ADDENDUM: Onestar's Exception. This rule applies to an extra generation, the great-grandparent, if one or more simple grandparents are alive to connect them all. This bans 1st cousins once removed (FCOR), like what Breezepelt and Heathertail are in-canon, and usually second cousins if I can help it.

Two Kit Max Any given pairing may only have two kittens who have successful grandchildren. If three or more kids have grandkids, one of the bloodlines will have to be pruned in some way. This is to prevent "superparents" who decimate the diversity. ADDENDUM: This applies per-Clan. Cats can leave their birth Clan and not contribute to their parents' "limit." Dovewing is now in ShadowClan and does not count towards the rule.

One Parent Litters Invoking the Queen's Rights allows for a cat to have kittens without a second parent. Sometimes these kittens are fully adopted. ADDENDUM: This is an in-universe rule. Ergo, other cats can and will have feelings on a cat who invokes this. That said, I don't always decide who that secret parent is beforehand!

With all that said, let's talk about the relevant differences in BB vs Canon, and the three options for who Moonpaw's parents are going to be...

Relevant Differences

So that we can narrow in on the ancestors that are relevant, I've gone and made a little version of my bigger tree.

Everyone in YELLOW is active in ThunderClan. PINK indicates that they may or may not remain there past ASC, either because they'll move or because they'll die. The ORANGE line tracks cats that are counted as Firekin.

(Note: Sunbeam, Twigbranch, and Finleap were left off this list since they're not relevant atm)

Spiderleg, Toadstep, Hazeltail, Sorreltail are still alive in BB.

However, in exchange, Molewhisker, Brackenfur, and Thornclaw are dead.

Cinderheart is off on adventures with Fallenleaf, who went through a whole thing

Mousewhisker and Nightheart will probably end up in RiverClan by the end of ASC.

Rosepetal will probably end up dying somewhere near the end of ASC OR in the BB overhaul of Ivypool's Heart. She will likely be Squirrelstar's first deputy.

Fernsong is an ex-kittypet. His name was Fiddles.

Because of a change in who dies in The Battle of the True Eclipse, Sorrelstripe is named Duststripe.

Because Ferncloud is the one to confront Ashfur in the Dark Forest instead of Graystripe, Graypaw is named Fernpaw.

Squirrelflight is infertile and unable to have bio-kits. Bramblestar disowned his children with her when the secret was revealed, and had a litter with Jessy. Sparkpelt is not Firekin-- her mate was.

Ivypool and Dovewing were swapped for Spotfur and Duststripe to keep the Firekin family consistent.

Larksong and Hollytuft have been fused into the same cat; Hollylark.

Hollylark was a poorly understood magical being. Xeir death prompted xeir parents, Cinderheart and Fallenleaf, to go on their journey.

Eaglewing, Honeyfur, and Leafshade are in my back pocket in case I need them elsewhere.

Snowbush, Dewnose, and Ambermoon were surrogated for cats in other Clans, but I still haven't placed them yet. Icecloud, now born AFTER the Battle of the True Eclipse, is taking any relevant roles for them.

Duststripe had kittens with an unknown sire, invoking the Queen's Rights to do so. I haven't thought about who this secret father is.

SO, as you can see, this tree is already significantly less tangled than canon's. If I just went with Thriftear x Bayshine, their last common ancestor was a great-great-grandmother (Frostfur), making them third cousins. On the other side, they share a great-great-great-grandmother (Nutmeg), making them fourth cousins.

These are both so far removed that most people don't even actually know their 3rd and 4th cousins. This is more than distant enough to not trip Rule 1.

That said... no 💕I don't care for this coupling 💕They haven't even talked in canon I am simply going to veto it 💕

Personally I've always seen Bayshine and Thriftear as being gay, so I'm going to move ahead with that in mind because it's MY AU and I get to homo the sexuals.

OPTION 1: BAYSHINE REMAINS I simply swap out Thriftear for her brother, Flipclaw, making Moonpaw into a FlipBay kitten.

This is the most canon compliant fix I can make. This is probably what I'm going to settle on as a default, unless and until we learn more about Changing Skies. OR, of course, someone makes a convincing and juicy argument.

Thoughts;

This closely matches canon. They can't possibly throw a curveball at me that I can't fix with Thriftear lesbianism. YOUR MOVE, WORKING PARTNERS.

I need more MLM ships, I'm actually really lacking those, so this would be a good opportunity.

BB!Bayshine and BB!Flipclaw will actually have really nice chemistry. Flipclaw's a silly boy who's known as the one example of a Firekin cat who can't live up to the legacy (something that likely used to cause him to quibble with Nightheart, back in the day). Bayshine is kind of a worrywart who actually appreciates Flipclaw's sense of humor and prefers a mate who doesn't give him heart attacks via heroics.

I feel like that'll bounce nicely off Moonpaw as well, since she's probably going to have a very serious story attached. It'll be nice to just write her having very supportive parents who listen and care.

Plus with her parents being Mr. "Always Worried" and Mr. "Fire Failure," I don't have to worry too much about legacy or status while still keeping her a Firekin. These two guys don't have a lot of power to leverage to help her get the Clan to believe her, if I need to keep a plot point.

OPTION 2: THRIFTEAR REMAINS I do some tweaks to put her with Plumstone, making Moonpaw a PlumThrift kitten.

More of a tinker than a tweak, but something I'm at least considering. I've been outspoken about how much I like PlumThrift, so I absolutely want to make it canon to BB. That said, I do like the idea that the two of them just don't have kids. Not all mates HAVE to have kittens.

Plus, it would come with restrictions anyway becaauuuuseeeeee,

It trips Rule 2, the Two Kit Max.

If Shellfur and Fernstripe have kittens, which I HOPE they do because good lord Canon!TC needs it, I couldn't let PlumThrift Moonpaw go on to have successful kittens of her own. Blossomfall's kittens would start to take over ThunderClan.

This is especially strict in BB because there's no way in hell I'm not going to have Shellfur and Fernstripe have some kittens. So help me god, I will pull Leafshade, Honeyfur, and Eaglewing out of my back pocket.

Moonpaw not having kittens isn't a bad thing, though. I'd happily do it, it's just that I'm trying to anticipate canon throwing a curveball at me.

BB!Plumstone and BB!Thriftear would probably have a more strained dynamic to their daughter, which might match canon very well if the team goes for the angle of having Moonpaw resent how she's seen as very special.

Both moms are overachievers, and very ambitious warriors. Thriftear is Firekin and living up to that legacy, and Plumstone is probably gunning for one of the head positions in the Clan.

It's not that they're mean or bad to her, it's that they'd have high expectations which might cause friction. Again; depends on where canon goes with Moonpaw's story.

Honestly, knowing them and what they want out of their lives, I can kinda see Moonpaw being something they didn't plan. Like she was an abandoned kitten they found and felt like it was a sign from StarClan, or somehow one of them accidentally got pregnant.

Which could be super interesting, honestly.

Option 2 might end up revealing itself to fit better than Option 1, but I need to see what the arc has in store first.

OPTION 3: TOTAL PARENT CHANGE Moonpaw is given to a non-Firekin couple that could have kits

This is the biggest change, but one I'll do if it's an important plot point that she's NOT Firekin by canon's wahoo logic. I already killed the inconsistency with MY family tree fixes, but the writing team seems to only count Firekin down from Squirrelflight's biokids.

So if I have to comply with that for some reason, I'll shuffle her over to one of these two couples;

She could either become the daughter of Stormcloud and Cherryfall, OR Shellfur and Fernstripe.

StormCherry:

Stormcloud actually got a massive glowup in BB lmao

Cherryfall and Stormcloud were previously sort-of-courting, probably-dating, in a weird situationship sort of thing. Unofficial only because they never made it official.

If Moonpaw is their kid, she'd definitely be what makes it official.

I feel like Stormcloud is better suited to being the Mi, but Cherryfall would insist that she acts as it instead. And Stormcloud knows better than to argue with her, she's the most stubborn thing you've ever met.

She's a knucklehead. He's a gentle giant. I feel like they'd be fun as parents.

But also a bit more absent compared to the other options, which could be good if that's a plot point... but seems unlikely, considering Moonpaw was apparently named because her parents believe she's special.

This one's the MOST clean of any bloodline Moonpaw could be wriggled into. It would actually be super useful going forward honestly. StormCherry kits are compatible with all of the cats of the next generation except Firekin.

If Moonpaw has a ton of siblings I might put them all here just for that... but something tells me she's going to be a singlet tbh.

ShellFern:

I have a weird fondness for these two tbh. Can't explain it. I like grumpy assholes and their sweethearts.

It's super unlikely that these two don't get kittens of their own at some point, but it wouldn't be too big of a problem if I did shuffle Moonpaw in as their first child.

I would enjoy having a little window into their relationship, I used ShellFern for an example of what a post-Lake Aftergathering looks like once just because I like writing about them.

They wouldn't "get in the way" of the plot, either. Shellfur and Fernstripe are both pretty standard warriors, not super ambitious, they have hobbies but they're not reaching for a high status or anything.

If Moonpaw ends up being a little bit of a snarky character, it would be fun if she got that from papa Shellfur lmao.

Aaaand that's it! I don't rewrite arcs until they are done, and as of writing this, even ASC isn't totally completed yet! But there's the pre-emptive options for a fix that is definitely going to happen.

This poll isn't binding because I really need to see which of these options will FIT the best, but I'm curious,

#better bones au #BB!Moonpaw #thunderclan family tree #BB!CS #BB!changing skies

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mschievousx · 2 days

Text

now and then | b.b.

pairing: benedict bridgerton x ofc, anthony bridgerton x ofc (platonic)

summary: loraine silva always knew she was not normal. she loves unusual things. she loves her father's guns, horses, boxing, climbing a tree, falling from a tree, engineering, astronomy... oh, and a man eleven years older.

series masterlist

v. five: lonely in your company

the young silva did not expect this at all. yes, lady whistledown wrote about quite a lengthy chat that the viscountess silva had with a certain son of the renowned pathologist, sir astley cooper, yesterday. but, for the rest of the gentlemen to flock her now? she was aghast.

while we have so far seen how she loves being in the bridgertons' companies and how she openly enjoy the things she finds fun, it is also as open she shows her distaste to the rest of the population—probably better that we haven't seen that part yet.

"i heard you like chocolates, lady silva."

"i believe we share the same interest in mechanical science."

"we have quite the collection of guns ourselves, my lady."

"a convention in astronomy is happening in the near future. if i may be so bold to have your presence when the time comes?"

honestly, she liked the last offer—had the man been fifteen years younger. it would have not mattered to her though, if only it was benedict.

the men continued to force their offers on her face. a man pulls another to the back to have his turn. a man pushed his bouquet forward. a man yelled his offer from the back. a man—

"excuse me, gentlemen. may i have a moment with the lady?"

a woman's voice stood out from the clamor, causing the men to turn and giving a space for her to take a hold of the younger one.

the ladies did not wait for the men's responses as they easily linked arms and walked away. although they could not do anything seeing as causing a scene in the queen's presence is not to everyone's benefit, they did groaned and cursed that a viscountess got away from their grasps.

"i cannot thank you enough for that, lady arnold."

loraine spoke gratefulness, her mood still marred from the encounter.

"you know there is no need for that. you act like we do not know each other." the widowed woman warmly smiled at her as she gave a squeeze on the silva's shoulder.

"i am simply grateful," she insisted, followed by a scoff, "i talk to another man and the rest of them think they could."

lady arnold chuckled at her stubborness, "i see, you still have not stopped using your father to fend off possible suitors?"

"i fend them off with anything i can. a gun, if i must."

the older woman said an immediate shush as if on reflex, something akin to a fear of being heard about using guns on suitors—although she herself would love to do so, "do you carry?"

"oh, no. the regular size is too heavy and bulky to conceal in a dress." raine said with clear annoyance that she could not carry one conveniently, "i am currently working on a smaller one."

do note that she already finished one.

at the mention of her creating a smaller version just simply because she would like to hide one made her look staggered at the young one, "and yet, you refuse to join the discussion inside."

lady silva moaned in displeasure, "i already went in. all he talks about is the principle of circular motion."

while interesting at first read, it gets boring mean you have understood it. the concept itself is significant, no doubt, in explaining various natural as well as mechanical sciences. however, she simply did not feel up to it today.

"that and i hate balloons."

lady arnold laughed at her honesty, bidding farewell to her as she continues to the dome. raine walks by herself, trying to find the bridgertons. while she did have other friends, she was not as keen to spend time with them as she did with the said family.

and so, she strolled until she found something interesting. eloise, cressida, and penelope; all surrounding the poor man.

"what do we have here?" she mouthed to eloise from the side of lord debling and penelope.

as the bridgerton girl shrugged and gestured nothing to her, the rest of the group noticed her arrival.

"ah, lady silva." the man greeted with a hidden familiarity.

"lord debling." raine tightly smiled at him in return.

miss cowper turned to the young girl, "loraine, you are an enjoyer of science just like lord debling, are you not?"

"oh, cressida," she began with a chuckle. she does not mean any offense to her though. while the said woman was indeed quite ill-natured, so was she. therefore, she is not one to judge the other, "you would be surprised by the amount of different sciences there are."

lord debling turned back to the cowper, "we do not share the same interest."

"we despise each other." raine nodded to that reassuringly, causing the man to look at her with seriousness.

"i do not despise you."

"your loss," the young silva shrugged with a hint of jest, "i despise you."

"such a strong word, my lady."

"i am petty like that." she giggled, lightly tapping the arm of the man in a friendly manner as she continued.

"do continue your conversation. i apologise for the intrusion."

raine stepped back with a smile and neared eloise, "where is your brother?"

"i did not see him. i thought he is with you?" she asked back, trying to look around herself too to catch a glimpse of her brother.

good thing she was looking around though because she had enough time to grab the other girl by the hand as the extraordinary balloon started to fly their way.

penelope, however, was stunned on their place. lord debling did not think twice to cover the girl for safety. while they did not agree with the science, she would give him points for that act.

raine turned to the men pulling the balloon, seeing colin upfront. such a personality he is embracing now, she thought. another bridgerton stole her attention though, because just meters away, benedict can be seen rubbing his palms as if in pain from pulling the ties.

she turned to eloise to bid farewell, thinking to go to him. however, as she turned back to where he was, he was now rushing to walk away.

her confusion was interrupted when cressida suddenly yelped in pain. catching on to her hidden agenda, raine rolled her eyes.

"ugh, i really hate balloons."

━━━ ✦ ❘ ☽ 【❖】 ☾ ❘ ✦ ━━━

after the incident, they all went home, likely to also prepare for the ball this evening. she went with the bridgertons to their home, not wanting to disturb her father for whatever work he's doing again.

the girl grumbled as she laid down on their couch, completely not listening to whatever conversation the family was having. everyone was doing something—gregory and hyacinth eating biscuits and quarreling, francesca playing the piano, colin reading and benedict sketching, and violet and eloise talking.

raine groaned once again before speaking on her own, "my father is so busy. it is almost like he is not here at all."

she continued to stare at the ceiling, only looking at the family after a prolonged silence of whatever they were doing. lady bridgerton was staring at her lovingly as eloise added, "and when he is away, you keep on saying you want him to go home already."

raine feigned ignorance to what she said, acting like she did not say that at all—which she did say, by the way, quite a lot too.

"ben," she called for the man across who seems to be ignoring the entire happenings in the drawing room.

"hmm," he replied with a hum, intent on his sketch.

"will you marry me so that someone will be with me when father leaves again?" she said as she sit up about to go to him.

"no," he replied, looking up from the pad and to her briefly before standing up himself, "i will be painting in my room."

he turned away after bidding farewell to everyone, the sound of his footsteps slowly fading. violet and eloise turned to raine after that, confusion clear on their faces as if asking what happened.

honestly, she is asking the same thing.

━━━ ✦ ❘ ☽ 【❖】 ☾ ❘ ✦ ━━━

her second ball—to be honest, balls are not as fun as the ton made it out to be. with the exception of what seems to be a men's club inside, there is nothing much in it.

"the surgeon from yesterday said he will be writing you a letter." she turned to see astley cooper, looking more dashing in a ball's fit, and still lacking greetings.

she smiled at what he said, "are they really going to study my suggestion?"

"of course, your points were quite strong. why do you seem to be doubting yourself now?"

she shrugged as she placed her glass down, "i was brazen yesterday. i am not feeling like it now."

letting out a sigh, she lifted her glass again and took quite a sip with a new resolution, "well, they better do because i have already boasted to my father that i made an expert pause and think about my ideas."

he chuckled at her changing moods in just five seconds, "oh, he shall prepare to be more proud then."

"lady silva, may i have this dance?" she turned to her right, only to see the brother of who she's waiting for.

"anthony, i told you. i am not going to dance with you first."

the viscount stood straight again, slowly retracting his hand, "you have not danced yet tonight?"

she let out a small groan at the reminder, "should i have?"

he chuckled, crossing his arms as if in deep thinking before chuckling again, "you are so obsessed with him. it is just a dance. he was already your first ever dance."

raine stopped the glass she was about to drink midway. she narrowed her eyes pointedly to the older man, the latter rolling his eyes, "okay, fine."

"viscountess silva, you are needed." a footman called for the lady, gaining the attention of the pair. his voice carried seriousness, yet that is not enough to reveal what it could be about. they all spoke monotonously during working hours.

she tapped anthony's arm before walking across the room, swiftly dodging the ton.

"lady silva."

a soldier strictly acknowledged the young lady. the man was sweating considerably as he pulled a letter from his pocket. he passed it to the girl in front of him without any word.

as raine took hold of the letter, small red stains are noticeable as well as the lack of seal. she opened to see the contents of it written in a hasty manner. her eyes flew from word to word, line to line. the lack of greetings, the lack of complimentary close.

she was not sure if this was done in jest—she would like it to be. however, upon observing the man in front of her now, his hand is visibly shaking. and so, she shut her eyes closed, crumbling part of the paper on her grip.

"name?"

"morgan," he answered with no mention of his rank. perhaps, this is his way of being sympathetic to the silva in front of him. perhaps, offering himself as a fellow person rather than a soldier would offer comfort.

"tell me where they are, morgan." she stared directly in his eyes, voice now void of the festivities behind her.

"i cannot tell."

"oh, you surely can." her volume starting to increase, sarcasm, anger, fear, and grief mixed.

"my lady, i am under strict command to not tell you their whereabouts." he did not break his eye contact, believing it as a form of respect to the girl.

she stepped forward, grasping her concealed small gun inside her dress out as she start to scream, "tell me or i will—"

"raine," a man grabbed her, pushing the gun down before anyone can wander their eyes on it. he swiftly took and pocketed it on his own. he turned to the young one, putting both palms on her cheek as if to call for her, "raine."

anthony crossed the hall as fast as he could after noticing her crumbling the paper, excusing himself from mr. cooper who conversed with him after she left. he was not the best man when it comes to emotion, but he knows anger like an old friend. and raine? she was rarely angry. she despises everything on a daily basis, but never with rage. and so, he knew something was wrong—very wrong.

he looked at her directly in the eyes, seemingly finding her behind it as he whispered, "there is a lot of people present. the ton is here."

"i do not give a hell about them. where is my father?!" he pushed the viscount away, freeing from his grasp but he reached again instantly, as if knowing how to deal with her already.

"darling, do not yell," he spoke in the same warm voice, "what happened?"

"papa has been shot," her voice broke upon saying it out aloud, just as her tears from her eyes, "in the shoulder and chest!"

raine nearly dropped down, if anthony did not pull her to him in time. although they were outside, the ball is still quite crowded. they could not let this go out. they could not let people see and know of this.

"i—" the viscount could not find the right words to say at the moment, he himself now feeling the panic akin to what he has experienced before.

sergeant morgan informed them of raphael's orders, him being the second-in-command of the currently incapacitated general, "colonel montague has ordered to have you stay in the ball. this is surrounded by our men, and the people responsible are less likely to attack a crowded event."

anthony nodded to acknowledge what the soldier said as raine is starting to lose herself, muttering on her own, "papa was shot."

while the general has certainly been shot before, this is possibly the most fatal. raphael knew that the girl would prefer the exact information, even in grievous situations. she hates when people feel the need to protect her from the truth.

and so, that is what the colonel wrote. he mentioned his state in all its actuality. general has been shot four times, once in the shoulder and thrice on the chest, sternum to left. he is bleeding heavily and is currently unconscious. we will be going on another quarters. i ask you stay at the ball. after, be with major thorpe at all times.

she pushed the viscount once again and turned back to the ball inside, "le—leave me be."

before anthony could take a hold of her, she already has entered inside. forcing to assist the girl would only raise suspicions now. she walked slowly, eyes darting from point to point as if looking for something. good thing it is a ball, and people will brush off her actions as a bit intoxicated—which could not be farther from the truth.

"where's...." she whispered to herself, not knowing that she is saying it out aloud, "where is... benedict?"

raine turned and turned, left and right, but she could not find even his shadow in the dance floor or within the hall. so, she continued to walk aimlessly, only to find who she's looking for at the bottom of the stairs, with a familiar lady conversing with him from a few steps higher. her mind was wandering. she did not understand a thing anymore.

"i need to go," she muttered to no one in particular, turning to a corner where a staircase leading to another wing can be seen.

she gripped the bannister, anthony in tow, seeing his wife in conversation with his mother. he gestured for kate to come to them, offering a smile to not raise worry before disappearing from view.

raine continues to find her way to the balcony, breaths already starting to be more noticeably heavy. fortunately, the place was vacated with no other person in sight. she dragged her feet and found comfort on the corner between the wall and a balustrade, sitting down with her knees on her chest.

"an—anthony," she began after a few gasps of air, the said man leaning closer as he crouched in front of her too.

"papa... papa was shot." the young girl reiterated in disbelief and grief. she left first for the ball as armand told his daughter he had some things to work for a bit with raphael. they were supposed to arrive late in the ball.

they were supposed to arrive on the ball.

he continues to comfort her, saying that her father's going to be well. he is a general, after all. the viscountess bridgerton reaches them with a smile, but it is immediately changed with a confuse and worried one when she sees what's happening.

anthony turned to her in a rushed manner, "kate, get my brother."

she knew better than to ask why. kate has always been a smart woman. she does not know, but she understands. and so, she nodded at him and turned on her heel in a hurry.

"you... will not find him. he—he is..." the girl whimpered. she cannot even see anything, her eyes blurried intensely as she fights to hold on to herself, "with lady..."

anthony caressed her hair before leaning his forehead to hers, speaking with the smallest and most serene voice he could, "shh, it's okay, raine. i am here. you can do—"

there were so many things happening all at once. she could not focus. she could not hold on to this for any longer.

"an..." she began, her words dying in the middle as she gasps and gasps, "tony...? i cannot... i cannot hear."

the fear started to settle in more to her. she cannot even hear her own voice. she hears nothing but the beat of her heart, irregularly fast.

she fumbled, trying to find his hands, and as soon as she did, raine squeezed it tightly.

"tony, i'm..."

she does not even know if she was able to say the following words. she has thought of it before, but more strongly now. she is thinking of it now, and she hopes that the thought counts.

"i need him."

taglist: @aadu2173 @imgondeletedis @pumkiinpasties @rebleforkicks

#benedict bridgerton fanfiction #father daughter tandem is fire here because we cant have it in real life #benedict bridgerton x reader #benedict bridgerton x oc #anthony bridgerton x oc #benedict bridgerton #bridgerton

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papirouge · 3 days

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This exchange made me realize that many of you tend to forget that Carmy is a late bloomer who never had any girlfriend before Claire which actually explains his awkward behavior. I know it because I too am an awkward late bloomer (around the same age as Carmy and sharing a lot of common with him) and his behavior totally made sense to me lol

I want you all to keep in mind that when you've been closed off romantic elationships for your entire life, you're not handling them the same way people who started dating in their teens or young adult years (Carmy is most likely in his early 30s and never got into any relationships before).

Carmy, like any late bloomer, was used to never being considered romantically, which explains why he freaked out when Claire started flirting with him and stopped thinking rationally (which is very unfamiliar for emotionally avoidant type like Carmy or I - we'll come back to this later). I understand Carmy's move of giving a false number to Claire yet still accepting to go out with her later may be confusing to many people, but as a fellow late bloomer I immediately clocked it : we are not comfortable with the attention people give to us, but we *know* this behavior is not normal/unhealthy so Carmy eventually giving in may be a way of eventually getting into the mold and abide to the "if you don't open up to others and give them chances, how can you expect building actual relationships?" mantra. Because deep down we want to be like others (because being so closed off all the time can become emotionally draining) and seek to find a way to fit in.

Another thing about people like Carmy/emotional avoidant type is that by being so closed off to the world, we are also extremely deceptive about who we truly are. It makes sense to me that Carmy hides his feelings for Syd and would rather project them onto Claire. That's definitely manipulative, but we'd rather do that than get "uncovered". We tend to think very rationally and our sense of self perseveration is incredibly strong. I just know that howing his bare feelings has to be one of the most terrifying and embarrassing thing for Carmy.

We also don't mind getting confused as someone we are not in which we feel some sort of relief because it keeps our real self away from others perception (if that make sense???). Carmy passing himself as "Logan" in that party -while being quite extreme- is totally on brand actually lol. I regularly get mistaken as a male (I'm lowkey gnc) but I never bother correcting people lol I'm fine being whatever they see me as, as long it's not the real me.

Talking about self preservation: we don't ask and don't tell. Carmy sister being mad at him for never asking her whether she was okay was extremely relatable because I tend to get the same reproach from my own sisters. Very typical of us. Fleeing to the other side of the globe to cope with a family member death is something I *get* because we are avoidant in nature. We can also be insane hustlers and tend to cope with grief or unhealed emotions through work.

On the positive side, we are extremely independent and self reliant. The scene in the fridge (last episode of season 2) where Carmy loses his shit and says he was mad at himself for indulging in all "this bullshit" (= love and relationships) I FELT THAT. Countless times I prayed to God to remove from my heart my "shameful" longing for love & intimacy that I always felt hindered me in my quest for excellence & satisfaction in any other aspect of my life. Because we are very rational & practical people and lowkey despise "useless" stuff like relationships and feelings. And that's where the messed up part comes up.

I wouldn't be surprised Carmy lowkey despises Claire for being so clingy and courting him so openly. As I just said, we tend to look down on (bold) displayal of love and emotion which lowkey repulse us. I think that's why Carmy dislikes his sister's husband when he's an all around good guy. He may have a resentment (and even jealousy?) against this man that has no issue showing affection - not only to his sister, but also the rest of the family. Which Carmy still struggles to do so far.

This may also explain why Carmy is suddenly so cold with Claire when he's serving her at the table (beside him allegedly previously making up his mind to break up with her). That's why the moment he hears that voicemail of Claire saying she "loves him" he THROWS AWAY his phone. Because that's disgusting.

I think the CarmyxSyd dynamic is unique because there's a dimension of respect between both. They share the same passion for cuisine, and Sydney constantly pushes Carmy out of his comfort zone. As an avoidant emotional attachment type myself, when I think of the type of people I potentially could be attracted to, I can only think of people I have deeply respect for, and bring objective value into my life AND skills. I've seen people criticize the fact that Sydney was pretty much a "warrior worker" for Carmy (and pretty much the whole Bear crew) and that's true. But regardless it's a good or bad thing, that's pretty much the type of profile that may attract avoidant emotional type of people. Bonding through work & shared passion is our safest field to build romantic connection through. That's why Carmy made Syd sign a partnership agreement instead of a marriage contract 💅🏾 that's the safest way for him to convey his feelings.

Again, we are very rational people and in every type of relationship, we instinctively jauge whether & how this person might be useful for us. It doesn't mean we built relationship with people depending on whether they can be useful for us or not, but that's definitely in a part of our head somewhere. Yes, that's fucked up (1/because we are 2/that's why emotionally distant people can become pretty unlikable - i.e Carmy carmying), but you have to keep that in mind to understand how Carmy moves. Which tracks back to Claire's actual purpose I've elaborated just before. He definitely uses her, but most likely unknowingly.

#sorry for this random essay but I had to let it out there #i see myself in carmy A LOT and that's highkeh embarrassing #the bear #the bear fx #carmy berzatto #sydney adamu #carmy x sydney #sydcarmy #sydney x carmy #jeremy allen white #ayo edebiri #the bear hulu #personal #papi watch

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idrellegames · 19 hours

Text

Hello all,

This is a general announcement post to cover a few changes, as well as a public build patch.

This patch addresses some lingering issues and bugs in Episodes 1 & 2. This is not a content update.

✦ Playthrough Restarts

Because of changes and fixes, if your save file is from June 24, 2023 or earlier, you should load a save file from the beginning of the Lethalis meeting in Episode 2 or restart from the beginning of the game. If you do not, you may encounter continuity, UI issues, or other errors. None of these are game-breaking.

If you keep Wayfarer running in a tab, please either refresh your browser or close the tab and open the game in a new one. This is the only way to ensure the patch takes effect.

Full patch notes can be read here.

✦ A Statement on AI

NO AI TRAINING. Using Wayfarer, its images, or any of its written work to train generative artificial intelligence (AI) technologies to generate text is expressly prohibited. Creating chatbots based on the game’s text is not allowed.

✦ A Statement on the Alpha Build

Wayfarer’s public build is free to play. It will not be updated until the alpha build’s Episode 4 is complete. Half of Episode 3 is available to play on my Patreon (available for the Recruit tier and above). Currently, the alpha build is a couple months behind the planned trajectory announced in the 2024 roadmap. Progress will be reassessed in July and updates made.

The last alpha build update was on May 28, 2024.

✦ Updates to the Game’s Structure

Since 2021 Wayfarer has been conceptualized as 3 acts and 15 episodes. While that story structure is still at its roots, it’s very apparent now that this is far too much story to be contained to a single game. So, I am breaking it into a trilogy.

I have had this idea for a while, but I have held off on doing anything about it because of technical issues. Because of the way the story builds on itself, I need to ensure that continuity (including details like the player character’s inventory and locations they have visited) is preserved across all three game. However, even with some technical things to still test and figure out, I am at a point where I would like to move forward with the new structuring.

WAYFARER 1

Prologue

Act 1: Episode 1, Episode 2, Episode 3

Act 2: Episode 4, Episode 5, Episode 6,

Act 3: Episode 7

Epilogue

WAYFARER 2

Prologue

Act 1: Episode 8, Episode 9

Act 2: Episode 10

Act 3: Episode 11

Epilogue

WAYFARER 3

Prologue

Act 1: Episode 12

Act 2: Episode 13, Episode 14

Act 3: Episode 15

Epilogue

The structure is still very much the same as it was prior (what is now a single “game” in the new structure was an “act” in the old one). The change has been updated and reflected in the Story Log, which now only goes up to Episode 7.

With this change, I will be looking into getting new cover art that is more specific to the first game’s events. All titles are TBA.

If you’ve enjoyed Wayfarer and would like to support my work, please consider supporting me on Patreon. Patrons receive access to the alpha build, a private Discord server, exclusive previews, bonus content, side stories, and other benefits.

Wayfarer is a passion project and creating it is a full-time commitment. Any little bit goes a long way to help me bring it to fruition.

If you aren’t in a position to support financially, reblogs, shares, ratings and comments, and spreading the word about the game are much appreciated and do a lot to help me out! 💕

#wayfarer #wayfarer if #dev log #announcements #twine #twine game #interactive fiction #interactive novel #cyoa #indie game

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thelightsandtheroses · 1 day

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eight: don't let this darkness fool you

Your Hand In Mine | Joel Miller x female reader.

Chapter summary: after the reappearance of the junction, you try and find a way back to some form of normal Chapter warnings: Reader is a single parent to a teenager, mentions of breakups, discussions of cults/religious movements and violence within these, threat of a gun, tension, lightly implied panic attack/anxiety, 18+ blog mdni, Notes: Chapter title is from Call Your Mom by Noah Kahan (and the song that I personally credit with helping me through a rough patch last year) Thanks for all of your patience with this chapter - my life irl has been hectic but I'm good! Word Count: 3.9k

Previous | Series | Next

You can’t even remember how you got home, but you’re in kitchen and somewhere in Jackson right now Sean is talking to your son, trying to explain it all to him and Beau and Joel are … they’ll have killed Ethan by now.

The loss of power, of agency in your own past’s return to Jackson makes you feel sick. You should be the one talking to Gabe, it should be your final blow to Ethan. This is your mess, this is your life, not theirs. Having others involved feels intrinsically wrong and yet, you’re grateful to have them to share this burden. So grateful.

Maria makes you tea in your kitchen without speaking. She’s told you that you can stay, that’s something. You wonder if she’ll ever truly trust you again though.

You open your mouth but you can’t find the words, you don’t know where to start. You selfishly don’t want to talk about it. You feel tired in your bones, in every single part of your body. It’s a weight pulling you down.

What if Jackson is at risk though?

“Will they come after him here?” Maria finally asks.

“I don’t know,” you reply.

“And you don’t recognise anyone here?”

“I’ve been out of that group for almost seventeen years, Maria, I - I don’t think I would know if they were here. Hell, you could be one of them for all I know.” You laugh bitterly and take a sip of your tea. “I don’t know how much he would have told them, he’s secretive. They could be … I don’t know.”

“Okay.”

Maria pauses. If this was a film then this would be the moment where you confess everything, where you bare your soul over tea and cry together. Maria would hug you and tell you everything would be okay, or perhaps say it’s too much, that she was wrong, you do need to leave.

You just have to say something. There are so many conversations you owe people now, Maria included, but in the immediate aftermath you don’t have any words.

Eventually it’s just you in the kitchen with a cold cup of tea and silence as your companion.

You’re alter when Gabriel comes home with Sean and you inwardly count your blessings that he even returned. You wondered if he would.

The silence is protracted and stilted in the kitchen around the three of you. You’re not sure what to expect: anger, upset, hurt, a combination of everything?

Sean has taken his hand of Gabe’s shoulder, has moved to leaning against a counter exactly halfway between you and your son who loiters in the doorway, illuminated by the hallway light.

“We should talk, Gabriel,” you say finally, rising from your chair and placing your cold tea mug down.

“Yeah, I reckon so.” You wonder when he grew up, when he changed from a little boy - your little boy - who believed in myths and legends to the almost man before you. Gabriel folds his arms and looks at the ground. “Was he really -”

“We’re your -” We’re your family you want to say, it’s us and it doesn’t matter about Ethan. He’s irrelevant.

It’s not what he’s asking though and it’s not what you owe him. You are all too aware that one wrong word will send him running like a skittish animal, that every syllable matters right now.

“Yes.”

“I look like him,” he says quietly. “When I looked at him, I could see … I could see it.”

“You look like you,” you say gently, “You’re you and only you, you’re not me and you’re not him.”

Gabriel swallows. “Did - am I-”

“No,” you reply vehemently before he can even finish the sentence.

“So, you don’t regret me?”

You pause, taken aback that your son would ask you this. “You saved my life, Gabriel, I would never regret you. Never.”

“How did I save you?” your son asks, curiosity flashing across his face.

“I knew I was pregnant and I didn’t want that life for you, that’s what gave me the courage to talk to Sean, to find a way out, for something better.” You think maybe with everything that’s happened today, the fact that leaving led to a difficult journey where you gave birth in a bombed-out warehouse and then a more than decade long misadventure in the Kansas QZ can be glossed over. You’re in Jackson, you’re here, right?

“That’s … I didn’t know that.”

“You’re the best thing that ever happened to me, Gabe.”

“But if you had a time machine, if you could erase being with him”

“Then there wouldn’t be you and that’s not a decision I want to erase, that’s not a life I want. Would I have wanted you, just you, in a different world without infected or any of that? Sure, but I’d still want it to be you and without all this around us - maybe you wouldn’t be you and that’s not okay with me. I’m rambling, aren’t I?”

“I - I don’t know what to make of all this. Sean told me … he told me some of it, a lot of it I think, but he said I’d need to talk to you and I want to. I do. I’m just …” Your son looks exhausted, eyes red from crying, his posture more crumpled than you’ve seen it before. “I didn’t know what it was like, I didn’t know why or what or … it’s a lot to take in. There are years, years that you’ve told me different things and it’s all muddled in my head. I’m angry about that, really angry, but I - we can get through it, right? I want us to be honest now, please?”

“Yes. We can talk about it whenever you’re ready,” you say, “I’ll do my best to tell you what I can, Gabe, is that okay? I’m sorry, I’m sorry for all of this.”

He nods.

“I don’t think I can talk about it all any more tonight,” he admits and you exhale slowly. “There’s too much for one night.”

“Today’s been a lot, it’s been … I can’t even imagine how you feel, but I love you so much. Sean and Beau love you and none of that has changed, could ever change in fact. I’m sorry I kept this from you, I wanted to protect you. I never thought something like this, like today would happen.”

“Sean said you all thought this group - you thought that they were around here recently.” Gabriel pauses, “Is that why you broke up with Joel?”

“We needed to be able to prepare, to run if needed. I need you safe.” It’s easier to just stick with that to admit than that being so close to Joel, to this kind and solid man had been too overwhelming throughout it all. That losing him was a suitable sacrifice if you could bargain your family’s safety. That the pain was the appropriate punishment.

“You liked him though,” Gabe says, “you haven’t been like that with a guy for a while. I mean … he’s okay, you were good together or whatever.” From Gabe, this is the highest endorsement any man you have ever dated has received.

“I thought you were at the age where the idea of your parents dating repulsed you?”

“Oh, I am and this conversation is something that’ll I never admit it. I just, I do want you to be happy.”

“You too.” You move closer, wrapping him into a close hug. “You too, kiddo. I was so scared,” you whisper, “I was so scared I’d lost you.”

Relief floods through you, you haven’t lost him, you haven’t.

Maybe there’s a way through this.

Maybe there is a way to stay.

You’re avoiding Joel. You’re avoiding as much of the town as you can actually. In the wake of the Junction’s reappearance to your life, you bunker down in your home like a hurricane is still to come.

It’s been over a week now and your creativity in avoiding the town surely deserves recognition. You’re immune to Gabe’s frowns now, to the whispered conversations between Beau and Sean.

You can’t face it yet.

This isn’t permanent. You know you should speak to Maria and Tommy, to offer some sort of guidance on how to tell if the cult is entrenched in Jackson, rotting your home away from the inside, but Sean seems to be handling that for you now. Everyone around you is treating like a wounded animal, afraid of you either self-destructing or lashing out.

You’re not sure what you’re supposed to do now, you’re not sure what comes next.

The bench calls to you.

You find yourself walking there without thought. You need peace, you need to be in a place where the buzzing in your mind can quieten down and where you can avoid prying eyes that mean well. If Sean looks at you one more time with those giant sympathetic eyes of his, you might scream.

You didn’t expect the bench would be occupied.

“It’s okay,” Joel says as soon as he sees you, “I can go if you want to be alone.”

“No, no,” you say quietly, “I want you to stay, Joel.”

You did that to him.

Guilt courses through your body and you look away from his careful gaze immediately.

It’s quiet at this time of night. So quiet. Even the wind is still tonight and while this serene silence would usually bring you peace, tonight is different. You can feel the weight of all the words you should say, and can’t say, and want to say in your stomach.

You sit down next to him, not meeting his gaze and instead remaining transfixed to the night sky ahead.

“I’m sorry you had to do this,” you finally say, pointing at his hand, “does it - does it hurt?” It’s not the question Joel expected, or even you for that matter.

“Hey,” Joel carefully reaches to touch your arm and then hesitantly withdraws, clasping his hands in his lap instead. “It’s not on you.”

“You can’t mean that,” you protest, “if I had said something to Maria, if I had stopped him before-”

“You can’t do this to yourself,” Joel says firmly, “Trust me, you did - you made the best choices you could then, right? Not just for you, but for your kid and that’s got to be enough. It has to be.” There’s something desperate in his expression, something you can’t understand because his reaction feels too vehement, too firm for the occasion. “You did what you did for your kid and I can’t argue with that, no one can.“

“But I could have changed things. We might still be in danger because of me.”

“We can’t live like that, can’t punish ourselves for things we’d never have known. None of us can. Not now, and certainly not before. It won’t help you. Trust me.” Joel exhales. “I spent years agonising over decisions, over every single move I made the night that - that Sarah - I went through everything I did, what I should have done. If I’d just bought the damn cake, if I hadn’t picked up Tommy, if I hadn’t worked a double. Maybe I could have made a different turning, or I coulda said something else to the soldier and then it would be different. I spent years on that.” Joel exhales. “I tore myself up every way I could over it.”

“It was an accident. It was a tragedy,” you say, “it wasn’t joining a damned cult, or dragging your best friend into it too.”

“And how’d you have known that then?”

“I know, I know all this. Logically it makes sense but it just can’t - I can’t make it fit in my head.” You sigh. “I have blood on my hands.”

Joel looks at his own hands before he speaks, “I don’t think anyone who’s alive now doesn’t.”

“You and Beau shouldn’t have had to -”

“I don’t want a man like that near Ellie, near my town, near the people I lo - care about,” Joel says simply. “Beau was of a similar view.”

“What - no, I - is it wrong I don’t want to know?”

Joel looks at you seriously and shakes his head. “Not at all, not at all.”

“Still, I’m sorry you got dragged into this. I mean, we’re not - not anymore. You shouldn’t have been obligated or anything.”

“Beau let something slip earlier,” Joel says carefully, “That you’ve suspected that group was nearby for weeks.”

“I know, I should have told Maria.”

“Right about the time you told we couldn’t - well, you remember what you said.”

You feel your cheeks heating up. Joel’s a smart enough man, if Gabe had worked it out, of course Joel would have.

You want to say it was because of the Junction, that you still want him. That you haven’t stopped thinking about him since then. Only it’s not entirely true, is it?

You’ve spent weeks in fight or flight, your only thought has been survival. Now people are telling you the worst is over, that you can start to heal again but you don’t know that. Even if it’s true, your body doesn’t know, it certainly can’t feel yet.

You feel on edge, nervous and unsure.

You want to jump onto Joel right now, feel his embrace and touch once more as you pretend the last weeks were just a bad dream. You also don’t want him near you, you’re scared it’s you, that you made Ethan’s worst side come out. He wasn’t a cult leader when you met him after all.

You want Joel, but you’re not sure if you’re ready to jump back in yet. You can’t go from planning an emergency exit, to confronting the man you thought was dead, and then straight back into some sort of mythical romance just like that. Joel might have slayed Ethan, but unlike a fairytale, there are marks on you that won’t immediately heal.

“I am not going pressure you into anything, I just want to say that if - oh hell, I don’t even know what I’m saying.” Joel swallows.

“You can just blame it on being moondrunk.”

“Moondrunk?” Joel asks with a chuckle.

“Yeah, look at that view. Moondrunk.”

“Moondrunk,” he repeats gently. “I mean it though, I- I’m terrible at this, but when you’re ready, if you’re ready …”

“Thanks, Joel.” You wring your hands together. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do now.”

“Live?”

“That simple, huh?”

He smiles wryly, “That simple.”

“So, you’re back at the bench, huh? Haven’t seen you here in a while,” you comment, keen to change the subject.

“I thought you were there first, figured it should be yours. But I - tonight I needed to come here, clear my head. I didn’t know if you’d be here.”

“Are you okay I am?”

“Yeah, yeah, of course.”

You shut your eyes for a moment. For a second you allow yourself to pretend it’s weeks ago, that you and Joel are still together, the Junction a distant memory. For a moment you thought this would be your life now.

Can it still be?

Joel’s still here, he’s patient and kind and good. “When I’m ready,” you begin softly, “when I’m ready, you’ll know.”

You don’t open your eyes but you swear you can feel Joel’s smile. “Okay, that’s okay with me,” he says.

The two of you stay there until sunrise.

It’s the library that finally makes you leave your home. Sean lets slip that it’s been closed since you started your retreat from the town and it pulls at your heart. There are people who rely on the library - it’s an escape for them, or a chance to learn. It feels wrong to keep the place closed, another failing.

The library, like the bench, is a sanctuary for you. Only, unlike the bench it’s for the whole town. It’s a safe and comforting place. You’ve built something there.

“You should go back,” Gabe says one night as he picks at his dinner.

“I should?”

“To the library.”

“Oh.”

“You loved it there and it - it’s your place,” he says simply, “I think you should open it again.” It’s a truly polite way to challenge your new hermit state. You notice Sean and Beau raising eyebrows at each other from the table.

“I- I will.”

“When?”

You raise an eyebrow at your son. “When I’m ready.”

“I think it would be good for you,” he says.

“I will listen to that, Gabe, okay? I just -”

Sean says your name softly and the way everyone in this house suddenly infuriates you. You don’t want their kid gloves or quiet observation, the continued sense that you’re staying inside too long, that you’re becoming someone that they don’t recognise. It’s overwhelming.

“I’ll open it tomorrow,” you say, desperate to make them change the subject, to see that you are okay.

Beau looks over at you with surprise in his eyes. “You don’t have to. I’m sure that Maria can get someone to cover -”

“They’ll shelve things wrong, Beau, we all know that. I’ll - I’ve got this,” you say as decisively as you can muster, before stabbing a potato with your fork. You’re fine, you can do this.

For Gabe, you can do this.

The following morning, you find yourself nervously standing in the empty library. It smells fustier; the tension hangs in the air as you notice the books you were partway through shelving before you left it for the last time.

You curl your arms tightly around yourself and open your thermos of tea with shaking hands. It’s been too long hiding away, you’ve built up nightmares in your head of the Junction running into the library, or Jackson residents turning against you.

No one even glanced at you as you walked to the library this morning.

There’s no one here though. Perhaps word hasn’t got out that you’ve reopened the library yet, or perhaps Maria has told people to give you space when you eventually emerged from your hiding places. You appreciate it and throw yourself into rearranging a display, in picking out books for the school class who usually come by on Fridays.

“Hi,” a voice says from behind you.

You spin around to see Ellie standing ahead of you. Her hands are shoved into her jeans pockets awkwardly and she looks nervous as she meets your eyes.

“Ellie,” you say gently.

“Joel said I should give you space.”

“Did he now?”

“So did Maria in fairness.”

“Right. Of course they did.”

“Do you need space?” she asks as you pull yourself to standing from the floor you were kneeling on.

“Not from you, Ellie.”

“Good, because it’s been a while, man. How much space can you need?”

“You sound like Gabe.”

“Can’t all be wrong, huh?”

“Absolutely, so did you finish that space book?”

“Mmhmm and I’m going to be honest that I may have swapped it for another book while you were out.”

“The library was locked, Ellie.”

“There was a window and I got Ca- a friend to give me a booster. Joel and I had to do it a lot in um, when we were travelling.”

“So you learnt your break in skills from Joel?” You ask, fighting the smile on your face as you make a show of crossing your arms.

“Technically, I was breaking into places with my friend Riley … well, one time anyway. ” Ellie shrugs. “At least I owned up, right?”

“Sure. I feel you’ve pretty much exhausted our collection of books on space though. We could move you on to fiction though - sci-fi, lots of space.”

“That could work.” Ellie purses her lips together, clearly battling against saying something. You wonder what she really came here to say; is she angry that Joel got involved, that you endangered her and the town? Does she want you to leave?

You wouldn’t blame her.

“I’m sorry about what happened with that guy,” Ellie says.

“I should apologise to you, Ellie, you got caught in the middle and you shouldn’t have. None of you should have.”

“It’s not your - it’s nothing, honest,” Ellie says and her sincerity somehow makes you feel worse.

“I appreciate that, Ellie, thank you.”

“I wanted to talk to you, because - because before we came to Jackson, there were these people we came across.”

Your blood runs cold. What does Ellie mean? Did she and Joel come across the Junction, or something worse? Why would she say this? You look at the young girl and wonder what her and Joel’s story really is, the chemical burn, the vehemence at you not being involved that. What happened to Ellie?

“Ellie, you don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to.”

“I want to tell you. Do you not want me to?”

“No, it’s fine, I just don’t want you to feel obligated to share something you may not want to.”

“Noted. I’m good though. So this group, they were these … I don’t know, cannibals? but this guy, he was like religious, or so he said and it was -”

“I’m sorry, you ran into a cannibal cult?” you ask incredulously.

“Kinda.”

“Fuck, Ellie.”

“I mean, it wasn’t a cult centred around cannibalism, that was more incidental.”

“Oh, well, that makes all the difference.”

“Right? Anyway, we got away. I - I got away. Joel was hurt before and so I was on my own and I know he feels bad about that.”

“Elie”, you whisper quietly.

“For a long time, I tried to figure out why this guy, Da- he was so … respected and so …. I don’t know. He was dangerous but quiet about it. I always thought the threat would be like a clicker or bloater, something visible. You look at it and you know that’s bad; you know what you’re up against. Plus on our way here I saw so much. Hunters, well at least they don’t hide it. This guy did. I - I almost bought it.”

“I’m sorry, Ellie.”

“It’s fine. It was almost a year ago now. It’s the past.” Ellie pauses and looks up at you. “I just wanted to tell you that.”

“I appreciate that, Ellie.” You take a deep breath. “For what it’s worth, the understanding the guy thing? It’s not like it starts off dangerous, it’s just normal at first, maybe a little different but within respectability. It … appeals to you, this sense of belonging, I suppose.”

“Belonging?”

“I’d never felt like I fitted in anywhere and then the world ended. My parents were …. all I had left was Sean and I didn’t want him to think I was clingy and end up with no-one. So there was this group and it seemed normal. It was normal at first. It was a slow change and then really fast and I don’t want to, I’m not sure if I should - you’re a kid, Ellie.”

“I’m-”

“A great and cool one, and one who’s seen a hell of a lot and is very brave, but you’re Joel’s kid, Ellie.”

“He’s not my - ” Ellie breaks off. “Yeah, yeah, you’re right.”

You scan through the pile of books you were shelving and pass one to Ellie. “Try this one next, I think you’ll love it.”

“Thanks,” Ellie says, saying your name kindly, “I’ll read it next.”

“Well, let me know what you think. I’ll be here.”

Ellie smiles. “Good, I’d hate to have keep breaking in to steal books.”

Tag List

YHIM: @orcasoul@pedropascalsbbg @yoursoulsunbreakable @iamskyereads @genetics4life

@everyth1ngfan @frickatives @perennialdoll247 @joelsgreys @pedrobaby

@missladym1981 @noisynightmarepoetry @picketniffler @titlee78

Everything Pedro tag-list: @harriedandharassed @pedrostories @hiroikegawa @pedrosaidsheispunk @pastelnap

#joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller x female reader #joel miller #the last of us fanfiction #pedro pascal character #joel miller fanfiction #the last of us #your hand in mine fic #fic: your hand in mine

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rav-not-found · 1 day

Note

Heyy! I saw you wanted to try out writing a request or two, so here I am✨

I was wondering if I could request a Dean and/or Sam winchester x reader (sepperately if you choose to do both, like two sepperate one shots in the same post) with an established relationship where they get a motel room that only has two beds, so reader has to share a bed with the winchester they're with, and it's just some awkward fluff where both are just figuring things out in this fresh relationship

Thank you!!

there was only two beds -

I love that actually!

———————————————-

Dean winchester x reader, established relationship, fluff

————————————————————————-

Its been a Long drive to Colorado for this seemingly complicated case, it seemed like forever since you have gotten a good nights sleep and tomorrow morning you have to hit the morgue first thing if you want to see the bodies before they are transported to the funeral homes.

you want nothing more than to go kick your boots, peel the layers of clothing off of you and Finally lay down, but to your surprise when Dean opens the motel room, there was only two beds.

All three of you look at each other, unsure who should go in first or where - but before you can really think about it Sam shrugs and goes directly on the closest bed to the door, drops his things, and into the shower he goes

“what a bitch” Dean says with a roll of his eyes, making his way to the other bed before you stop him

“wait where will I sleep then??”

he looks at you a little confused, then a little awkwardness can be seen on his usually confident face

“I- uhm” he clears his throat, “I assumed we’d sleep together?- I mean- not like that- of course not like that its been a long day but I meant- if you dont want to I can sleep on the couch its fine-“

you find it hard not to crack a smile at the usually confident and full of bravado Dean who is now closer to an awkward teenager in his first sleep over

“oh no no its okay- im- don’t worry its alright I don’t mind-“ you say with a small chuckle, a little awkward yourself

he goes to put his bag away and places yours next to it, he unpacks a change of clothes for himself and then looks at you hesitantly before reaching into your bag and getting one for you as well

and for a moment there between the silent movements and shuffling of fabrics, you get to see how softly he holds your belongings, how much care and love he exudes for a pair of pants or an old band t-shirt, and god if you could fall in love all over again….

he gets up from where he had placed the bags on the ground and hands the fresh clothes to you, avoiding eye contact like the plague of course.

“..Thanks Dean, appreciate it”

“yeah dont mention it” he risks a look at your soft smile, and a blush starts to creep up his neck, to which he quickly breaks the moment “SAM ARE YOU GONNA BE THERE ALL NIGHT?? WE HAVE BEEN IN THE CAR FOR THE LAST TEN HOURS TOO YOU KNOW.”

you laugh a little at his chosen method of checking on his brother, but it actually works quite quickly as Sam comes out in the next couple of minutes and flips him off. you laugh again.

Dean asks if youd like to go in first, Sam strongly suggests you take him on that offer before he “grossens up the place”, but for deans luck youre a little more tolerant than Sam and you let him go first

the moment hes in, you can see Sam unpacking and putting things aside before he sleeps, but he throws you a look or two of acknowledgment, which make the silence a little less awkward - but not completely.

“do you think I upset him when I didnt assume we’d be sleeping in the same bed?” you asked in a low voice, hoping the walls arent too thin

Sam looks at you with a small smile and a soft look, “nah I think hes just not really used to how….normal relationships function I guess? I think hes more scared of upsetting you than anything”

“oh” it just hits you now that you might be this guys first actual relationship in years, and the awkwardness might not be only from your side of the coin “oh god did I scare him?”

Sam, now laughing, “honestly? maybe, he is a little more insecure than he lets on; but I think you can just assure him and itll be okay” he shakes the chuckle in his throat away “honestly for a couple who are both older than me, it feels like im watching a highschool first crush first relationship kind of situation”

“oh fuck off like youve never had an awkward moment before”

Sam contemplates for a moment “sure yeah, when I was 16”

and with that, you also flip him off, making his success rate of getting flipped off today 2 out of 2 times a 100%

he chuckles and seemingly actually lays down to sleep this time

and conveniently enough for you, Dean comes out of the shower just then, leaving you no time to sit alone in the unsettling motel silence

“I uh” he clears his throat again, youre starting to think he does that whenever he’s nervous “I cleaned it for you - contrary to what Sam might think Im actually good at cleaning so….youre all good to go”

he also avoids your eyes mostly saying this looking down or around before going in the beds direction while you’re going to the bathroom, when you pass each other in the middle, you give him a quick kiss on the cheek and whisper a sincere thank you directly on his skin, he mumbles a “no problem” under his breath in that overly deep voice of his when hes awkward, and makes quick strides to the bed as you go to take a long awaited shower.

when you come out, all clean and fresh, you notice the clothes you are gonna wear neatly folded in pile on the bed next to a “sleeping” Dean who is so tense you could use him as a rock solid analogy, and trying to take such little space its almost funny seeing this six foot man trying to be so small

you change quietly to not wake up Sam, then slide in bed behind Dean and hug him from the back, to which he tenses even more - if thats even possible - before slowly relaxing into your hold

“you okay?” you ask in a whisper, unsure if hes gonna continue playing asleep or will actually reply to you

his reply comes half a minute later “I should be asking you that”

“and why would that be?” you say back, trying to put as much sass in a whisper as you can

“you know why.” if eye rolls could be heard, you just heard it in his voice

before you get to reply though, he continues

“im sorry I didnt really think when I was asking for the room and im so used to asking for doubles because its usually just me and Sam- I didnt mean to make you uncomfortable or assume anything I know this is all a pretty new arrangement and-“

you cut him off, “hey hey hey… Dean, its okay, I swear im not uncomfortable I was honestly just surprised by the bed sizes, it didnt look like itd fit two people, but when you said we’d be together I knew we would be able to fit because I trust your judgment okay? and I have definitely had worse sleeping arrangements than being tightly stacked next to my male-model-pretty boyfriend you know?” your voice was low but soft, full of sincerity

you can hear him chuckle lightly before turning around to face you, “its just been a while since ive had a similar… situation, with anyone - and I really dont want to fuck this up…I really like you you know?”

it was your turn to chuckle now, “I know, and I really really like you too, Dean. Believe me itd take more than a tight bed to get me to even slightly be annoyed at you, youre fine, were fine, okay?” you pause to give him a light kiss “and if Im being completely honest with you, I was kind of hoping this would happen because I really need one of your strong hugs to put my bones back in place after todays drive”

he huffs out a laugh and gives you a kiss too, “in that case, I will gladly become a weighted compression blanket” he says as he changes your positions.

now holding you impossibly close, he hugs you tightly and pulls the covers over your shoulders, with his nose in your hair and your face to his neck, you start drifting to sleep

“I love you” you say in an almost undiscernible whisper, half asleep

“I love you too” he whispers back to himself as he is sure you’re already no longer awake

he stays awake for a bit more in the quiet soft night, holding you tightly and softly smiling to himself

“I love you too” he says once more before falling victim himself to sleep

——————————————————————

this is my first fluff one shot since I tried writing for the first time a year ago or so so I really hope you like it !!^^

and thank you for the request^^

#dean winchester #Dean winchester x reader #fluff #awkward fluff #Sam winchester #gender ambiguous reader

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dindjarindiaries · 2 days

Text

Senator's Shadow - Chapter 6

summary: As time winds down to the upcoming attack, you and Sergeant Hunter both find yourselves as conflicted as ever.

pairing: hunter (the bad batch) x fem!reader

rating: mature (18+)

tags: bodyguard romance, forbidden love, fluff & angst, emotional & physical hurt/comfort, canon-typical violence, injuries & blood, trauma, eventual/mild smut

word count: 6.821k

chapter 5 ⟸ series masterlist ⟹ chapter 7

chapter 6 ⟹

“I just don’t know, Senator.” Your jaw ticked in your effort not to show the way you bristled with anger at the falsely disappointed words of yet another diplomat. “The problems are only getting worse, and Count Dooku is offering us much more than the Republic is.”

You furrowed your brow in frustration. “It’s not an equal exchange. Can’t you see that?” You looked around the massive, circular table full of Eirus’ highest-ranking officials, silently begging for them to understand your perspective. “Once they have their grip on our world, they will not let go. Their chosen government will absolve yours, and all of you will be outed while our people will be exploited and forced to work in their droid factories.”

The Prime Minister huffed an arrogant breath. “That’s a paranoid thought process, Senator.”

You fixed your intense stare on the Rodian. “It is not ‘paranoid’ when it has happened before on other worlds, Prime Minister. That makes it realistic.” You paused and looked around the group again. “And probable, if we cannot come to an agreement.”

“These attacks have only gotten worse since you arrived.” The Prime Minister wouldn’t back down. “Our people need order, and clearly, the Republic cannot provide that, seeing as it has failed to do so already.”

“It does not help that you have not implemented any of the resources the Republic and I have supplied you with from Coruscant.”

Another diplomat was quick to speak up. “Count Dooku is offering us even more resources.”

Your head snapped towards them. “And where is he now? Where are any of his officials?” You yet again waved a hand around, gesturing to the empty section of seats that would have been directly across from you. “They refuse to come here, yet here I am, trying to make things work in the best interest of all of you and our people.” You shook your head. “He cares so little about our world that he does not even value sending himself or someone else here on his behalf.”

Silence fell upon the diplomats as they considered your words. Some of them continued to stare at you, while others broke their gazes and looked around the room. You hoped that would promise some progress, but deep down, you knew the truth.

You rose from your seat and continued. “But I care.” Hunter’s words from the night before ran across your mind, warming your chest as you went on. “And because I care, the Republic cares, too.” You nodded. “I fought for this world once before, and I will do it again if I have to.”

The diplomats shared looks, but you didn’t care to read them. Your frustrated rage was boiling hot just beneath the surface of your skin. This was a room full of people who would do nothing to save your world, and you weren’t going to wait for them any longer.

“With that, I believe we can conclude today’s sessions.” The Prime Minister was the next to stand from his seat, his gaze averting yours altogether as he nodded at the group. “We will resume tomorrow, as usual.”

You composed yourself with a breath and kept your mask on, despite the overwhelming urge to embrace your frustration wholeheartedly. With a dignified nod, you turned to the captain of your guard, allowing him to escort you out of the room. Even just stepping through the threshold released a tense weight from your shoulders, though it was far from eliminating all the burdens you were holding there.

The biggest was no doubt the decision that had been looming over your head for the past day. It was becoming more clear which choice you had to make, but it wouldn’t be easy to go that route. You would manage, but the squad who would be standing behind you… would they be punished for their role in your rebellion?

Would Hunter be punished, even hurt, for your own actions?

It wasn’t a thought that you could bear. You had to force it to the back of your mind for now, especially since they hadn’t yet arrived at your doors for the night. That thought at least brought a smile to your face. They were enjoying a meal, if all was well, and that satisfied you. No matter what was to come, you were still providing them with something.

You had a meal in the privacy of your suite, one you had to force down thanks to the pit that had been created in your stomach. In the silence of your lonesome, you ran through plans and probabilities a dozen times. The advantage to being betrayed by those you used to fight alongside was that you knew their plays—because many of those plays had been created by you.

As eager as you were to continue planning, you were utterly relieved by the sound of knocking on your doors. You smiled and rose from where you had been sitting, smoothing out the skirt of your dress before you reached the doors. They opened to reveal the sight of both Hunter and Tech.

You addressed Tech first, bowing your head in his direction. “Tech.” He returned the gesture before glancing back down at his datapad. You fixed your stare upon Hunter, who was already gazing at you with a once-over you were both familiar with and never quite used to. “Sergeant.” The smile on your lips remained even as you lifted an eyebrow. “Another briefing, I presume?”

Hunter bowed his head. “That’s right, Senator.” His dark eyes sparkled with too many emotions to identify in an instant. “We found what we were looking for.”

You were hit with a puzzling mix of both relief and dread as you nodded. “Good. I look forward to hearing about it.”

With that, you turned and walked back inside, encouraging Hunter to do the same. It wasn’t until you heard the doors close that you fully relaxed with a deep exhale. You closed your eyes and turned around to face the sergeant, only reopening them when you were ready for whatever he had to say. His worried gaze was already searching your own.

“How much time do we have?” Your voice was stronger than you had expected it to be.

Hunter took a step closer to you. “Two nights.” His voice was even raspier than usual as he spoke, as if there were also invisible burdens he was hiding on his own shoulders. You furrowed your brow. “Tech was able to slice into their comm channel, and he ran an analysis on their past attacks to prove it.”

You nodded, a rush of adrenaline pumping through you. “Okay, that’s fine. We can work with two more nights’ time.”

Hunter returned your nod, though his stare never left yours. “Have you decided what you’ll be doing?” He asked the question slowly, clearly reluctant to bring the topic up.

“I have.” You raised your chin, but only for a moment. “I’m going to fight.” Your gaze fell from his as you crossed your arms over your chest.

In your silence, Hunter approached you, setting his free hand upon your chin just as he had done two times before—but not since your beautifully haunting kiss. It was hard to focus with that thought lingering in the back of your mind. Hunter’s voice, however, broke through your brief reverie. “Then we’ll fight with you.”

You tightened your jaw, drowning in the comfort of his dark gaze as you voiced your fears to him. “Will that be safe for you and your squad?”

Hunter’s brow knit together. “What do you mean?”

You sighed a light breath. “I know you’re all willing to disobey orders, and that it’s a big part of the reason why I brought you with me. But…” you paused, gaining courage in the softness of Hunter’s expression before going on, “is it safe for you to do that?”

Hunter huffed, his gloved hand moving from your chin to your cheek in a smooth, calming motion. “Trust me, Senator. They stopped trying to reprimand us a long time ago.” He nodded, his eyes searching your own. “You don’t have to worry about us.”

Your hand covered his as you began to smile at him once again. “That’s much easier said than done, Hunter.”

The corners of Hunter’s lips also widened. “I know.”

The silence that followed shifted something between you, bringing you back to that moment in the base by the village. Both your gazes flickered low as your heart steadily started to beat faster and faster. You were drawn to him by the invisible tether you had created between you, and when your nose brushed his, you were yet again at a loss for breath.

But Hunter spoke before either one of you could make a move. “I should let you rest, Senator.” His voice was nothing more than a soft breath.

You shook your head, tightening your grasp on the hand of his that continued to cup your face. “You don’t have to leave.”

Hunter considered your words, both his stare and his voice lowering as he did so. “If I kiss you right now, Senator, I won’t be able to stop.”

The way his words weakened your knees further proved that you couldn’t let go of this moment, one you had been hoping for ever since that night at the village. “I’m okay with that.”

You made the move to close the distance between you, but you were stopped by Hunter’s thumb on your lips. Your eyes fluttered open to see that his were closed, as if he was in pain. You furrowed your brow and waited for him to break your tense silence. When he reopened his eyes, you saw all the conflict within him—and though your heart was stricken with pain on his behalf, it also filled you with a frustrated flame.

Hunter finally spoke, but his voice was nothing more than a whispered plea. “Please.” He exhaled, moving his face away from yours to lower his head. “Make this easier for me.”

His refusal was the last fracture that made you crumble under the weight of all your pressures. You narrowed your eyes and shook your head at him. “No.” Your hand grabbed his wrist and forced it away from your face. Hunter’s stare rose to yours again, and this time, it was filled with a confused panic. “I won’t play this game, Hunter.”

Hunter blinked a few times, his lips parted before he found his words again. “What are you talking about?”

You scoffed. “Days ago, you were encouraging me to indulge in my wants, telling me I didn’t have to choose between them and my people’s needs.” You gave him a disbelieving once-over. “Now, it’s suddenly a problem?”

Hunter hesitated, and you could hear the breath he held in his chest. His gaze was lowered, but it darted around as he tried to collect his thoughts. “It’s never been my intention to confuse or hurt you, Senator.” His stare met yours, its brown depths clouded with too much emotion to decipher. “I guess I’ve still got a lot to figure out myself.” He shook his head, and each word he spoke was strained with meaning. “I’m sorry.”

An apology wasn’t really what you wanted to hear, as genuine as it was. “Well, I’ve made my choice.” You lifted your brow, as if you were challenging him. “You have to make yours.” You gave your head another shake. “Because I’m not letting you have it both ways. Not when I’m already being torn apart by this crisis.”

The pained crease in Hunter’s brow nearly made you regret saying the words, but there was no getting around it. You already had the weight of the galaxy on your shoulders, and you couldn’t take on another with such a push-and-pull relationship. He was going to have to choose.

“I should get some rest.” You stepped away from him to move towards your bedroom, trying your best to ignore the burn of his gaze on your back. “I trust that you can see yourself out, Sergeant?”

For the first time, your use of his title was nothing but bitter. When you gained the faith to look at Hunter again, he just nodded dutifully, turning on his heel to stride towards the doors of the suite. Before he got there, however, he stopped. His head turned over his shoulder so that all you could see was his profile. “Senator?”

You said nothing. It was clearly the invitation he was looking for to go on, and the hopeful part of you that wanted to be wrong about everything you had just said let him do so.

Hunter’s shoulders rose and fell with a steady breath before he turned to face you again. Still, he remained where he was, respecting the distance you had put between yourselves. “I was made for this war. I’ve never known a life without it, and I’ve never been able to think of a life beyond it.”

Your heart weighed heavy at the painful truth of his words. You lowered your gaze in shame as he went on.

“I’ve never even had the luxury of ‘wants’ outside of battle, especially with the squad in my care.” Hunter gestured with his head to the doors. “It doesn’t excuse me letting you get caught up in my own confusion, but…” he paused, his gaze once again lowered and searching before he went on, “I hope it helps you realize that you’ve never been the problem.”

Hunter’s stare found yours again, and a rush of strong flutters exploded within you at the breathtaking sincerity of his gaze.

“I know what I want. I’m just not sure if I can let myself have it.” Hunter looked over his shoulder. “For their sake as much as my own.”

You couldn’t think of any words to say. It was your turn to be speechless, lost in the weight of what he had so vulnerably shared with you. He had spent this entire mission understanding your perspective and prioritizing your desires, but you had made the mistake of never once trying to do the same for him.

“Goodnight, Senator.” Hunter dismissed himself with another nod before he walked through the doors that slid open for him, leading him back into the corridor.

As soon as he was gone, you shouldered the heavy weight of his absence. The doors closed at the same time your eyes did, your chest rising and falling with a deep, trembling breath. At the beginning, you had remembered it so well, the weight of Hunter’s own responsibilities that could put him at risk if you pursued a relationship together. But then the kiss had happened, and your rationality slipped away. Rather than talking to him about it, you sought more, more of what he knew he could not have.

Then, you made him feel bad about it. You ended up hurting him after all, long before he would even set foot into the upcoming battle. And of course he remained as honorable and genuine as possible, never once putting the blame on you.

You forced yourself to turn back to your bedroom door and walk through the threshold. As you settled into bed that night, it felt colder and emptier than ever—especially with the creeping fear that you may have ruined whatever potential you and Hunter had for a future together.

You woke earlier than usual that morning. The time on the chrono was still within Hunter’s window for his watch shift, and you couldn’t deny yourself a chance to at least apologize. You weren’t sure when you would get another opportunity alone with him, aside from the usual briefing later that night. You couldn’t wait that long to put an end to the anxious agony that had made your sleep so restless.

As you dressed for the day, your thoughts dwelled on your current inner crisis. The guilt consumed you whole, but so did the helplessness of the situation. You both wanted the same thing and you had no idea how to help him pursue that. Not when he had so many burdens on his shoulders already, burdens that he had quite literally been created with.

That could be explored later. For now, you just had to apologize. You reminded yourself of that as you headed to the doors of the suite, your pulse racing in anticipation as they opened for you.

You furrowed your brow when Echo turned around to face you. “Senator?” He checked the nearest chrono. “It’s pretty early for you to be awake.”

Your heart sank in disappointment, though you kept a small smile on your lips. “I have a lot to prepare for, Echo.” Was Hunter really so upset that he changed his watch shift?

The ARC trooper removed his helmet, revealing his raised brow. “At this time of the morning?”

You continued to mask with a soft huff. “It’s never too early to begin preparations.” You let out a deeper exhale, bowing your head. “But I’m sorry to have disturbed you, Echo. I…” You paused, trying to find a fitting lie.

“You thought it would be Hunter.” Echo’s words made your gaze snap back up to his. He was smiling, but when his stare caught yours, the smugness began to falter. “Did something happen?”

You swallowed hard, your gaze focusing on the sight of Hunter’s door beyond Echo. “I simply owe him an apology for something. That’s all.”

Echo looked as if he was going to question you about it, but he must have changed his mind. “Well, Hunter’s finally getting some sleep. He found out Wrecker hasn’t been getting enough rest, so he changed the shift schedule.”

Your chest constricted with a confusing number of emotions. “How so?”

“In typical Hunter style, he’s taking a double shift, now. Watching the doors for most of the night, getting maybe a few hours of sleep in before the wake-up call.”

You exhaled a soft breath. That was no surprise to hear, but the fact he hadn’t communicated such a change to you himself hurt worse than it should have. “I see.” You nodded at Echo. “Well, I’ll leave you to it, Echo. My apologies again.”

As you turned back to your doors, however, Echo went on. “If it’s any help, Senator, I don’t think he’s upset with you.” You froze, turning your rapt attention back to Echo. He lifted his brow. “He’s upset with himself.”

You faced Echo fully again and crossed your arms. “What makes you so sure?”

Echo sighed and looked at Hunter’s door. “When he gets upset with himself, he just… keeps to himself. Starts taking on extra responsibilities.”

You grimaced. “Like the watch shifts.”

Echo’s stare found yours again as he nodded. “Exactly.”

You held the side of your face with your palm and exhaled. “He shouldn’t be upset with himself. It’s my fault.”

Echo hesitated for only a moment before he spoke. “Well, Senator, if this is about what I think it’s about… it won’t be easy to convince him of that.”

Your self-loathing began to subside in your sudden concern for Hunter. You dropped your hand from your face and held your arms tighter. “Why?”

Echo shook his head. “Well, Hunter’s good at just about everything. Exceptional, even. But vulnerability?” Echo gave his head a fond tilt. “That’s not his strong suit. And if he thinks he hurt you somehow while he was already trying to be vulnerable…”

You were able to finish the thought. “He’s gonna shut me out.”

Echo stepped closer to you and set a reassuring hand on your shoulder. “But if anyone can get through to him, Senator, it’s you. I’m already amazed at how much you’ve been able to do that.” He chuckled and raised his brow. “Never seen the man so giddy before.”

Your ears burned as you laughed with him. You took his hand from your shoulder and held it between yours in pure gratitude. “Thank you, Echo.” You sighed and let your worry consume you for a moment. “I just hope he’ll give me the chance to help him.”

“Based on how he spoke about you last night during the schedule change?” Echo huffed as he slid his helmet back on over his head. “You don’t have to worry about that at all.”

You beamed, giving your head a fond shake as you turned back to your doors and stepped through them. They closed behind you, and though you should have tried to get more rest, you had too much to think about. You were already planning the next private conversation you would have with Hunter, one that would hopefully go much smoother than last evening did.

This at least made time move by faster, and soon, it was time to reemerge. You approached the doors with a new mindset, preparing yourself for a whole different kind of battle than the one you would be facing tomorrow.

When the doors opened, you were shocked to see that Hunter was already standing there with Echo. Your heart skipped a surprised beat at the sight of him, though the way he was already concealing his face from view with his helmet forced a pulse of disappointment through you.

Hunter’s visor turned to you, and you were caught in the intensity of it. He nodded, breaking the gaze almost straight away. “Good morning, Senator.”

The corners of your mouth tightened before you returned the gesture. “Sergeant. I hope you were able to get some rest.” It was time to give him a push, to see if Echo was right about his true motivations for taking yet another responsibility on his shoulders. You glanced at the ARC trooper. “Echo told me you changed the shift schedule.”

Hunter tilted his helmet. You wished more than anything that you could see his eyes. “It’s better this way. Now, everyone gets equal rest.”

You furrowed your brow. “Everyone except for you?”

Hunter straightened his posture at that. “I’ll be fine, Senator. I’m used to it.”

You still wouldn’t back down. “Cutting back on rest before such a dangerous mission isn’t a very wise choice, Sergeant, regardless of whether you’re used to it or not.”

Hunter sighed and set a hand on his hip. “Senator—.”

Echo cleared his throat when the squad’s doors began to open. You looked past Hunter to see Wrecker and Crosshair making their way over, and it was more than likely that Tech would emerge from your suite at any moment. You folded your hands behind your back and took a deep breath for composure. Once Tech had arrived, you spoke up to the gathered group first. “What are your squad’s plans for today, Sergeant?”

Hunter’s helmet turned towards you slowly, as if it was a cautious movement. “Scoping out their camp again. We need to get as much information as possible before we put our official plans in place.”

You nodded. “I concur. Will the briefing be tonight?”

Hunter shook his head. “We’ll do it tomorrow. I want it to be fresh.”

You raised an eyebrow. “Will I at least be briefed on today’s findings?”

Hunter lifted both hands to his hips. “If there’s anything to report, then yes.”

You gave him a disbelieving once-over. Never before had Hunter pushed back on keeping you as in-the-loop as possible. Now, after already failing to notify you about the watch schedule change, he was going to avoid your usual evening briefings.

You were going to have to push him even harder.

Tech tried to speak up into your stunned silence. “Given how much we already know, it is doubtful that we will find anything—.”

“Considering this is an attack on my home village, Sergeant, I would appreciate receiving details on any and all findings, no matter how small.”

“We can make that possible,” Echo cut in, clearly trying to both help you and ease the tension. “I’m sure we’ll find something worth noting.”

“That makes one of us,” Crosshair muttered.

“I have to say, I am with Crosshair on this one,” Tech added. “Like I attempted to share before, it is doubtful that—.”

Hunter was the one to cut him off that time. “I don’t want to waste any of your time if we don’t find anything worth noting, Senator.”

You narrowed your eyes at him. “Anything that has to do with my home village is not a ‘waste of time,’ Sergeant.”

Hunter exhaled and held a hand against his helmet. “That’s not what I meant.”

“It kinda sounded like it was,” Wrecker insisted. Hunter’s helmet snapped towards him, making Wrecker shrink back in surprise.

“Listen.” Echo continued to be the voice of reason as he cut into the noise. “We’ve got tons of daylight on our side right now. We’ll make sure we can find something for you by tonight, Senator, if only to put your mind at ease. All right?”

You nodded at him. “I like that plan of yours, Echo.” Your gaze flickered to Hunter’s visor, but only for a moment. “It’s a sensible approach.”

With that, you strided off, heading to your guards who awaited you at the far end of the corridor. The further you got from the group, however, the harder it became to leave them behind. Hunter’s stare was burning so intensely into your back that you were half-convinced he would leave a mark behind. Clearly, whatever you were doing was working to a degree, but you didn’t want him to get the wrong idea.

You had never wanted to show a person they were deserving of love so badly before.

Throughout your diplomatic sessions for the day, your thoughts dwelled with Hunter and the two battles you were fighting. There was no point in participating in diplomacy any longer; you would keep your mask on and leave it at that. Yesterday had proven that these officials were far beyond saving. You could afford to let your thoughts stray in these sessions if it meant that all the people you were actually trying to help would be saved—if they would let you, Hunter included.

The day trudged on, but eventually, it came to an end. You were relieved to be heading back to your suite, even with the anticipation of facing Hunter again. You had rehearsed conversations in your mind a thousand times throughout the day, leaving you more prepared than ever to speak to him.

But when you got to your doors, he was nowhere to be found. It was Echo who awaited you with a half-hearted smile. You returned it even as you raised your brow and looked around the end of the corridor.

“Good to see you again, Echo.” You nodded at him, and he returned the gesture. “Where’s your squad?” You lowered your voice to keep it between the two of you. “And the sergeant?”

Echo exhaled and closed his eyes. “I tried my best, Senator.” Your chest tightened as Echo’s eyes reopened, his stare meeting yours. “Hunter insisted on staying later at the camp tonight, and he’s got Crosshair and Tech with him. Wrecker and I are covering the watch shifts until they get back.”

You frowned and attempted to ignore the worried pang that gnawed at your stomach. “How long will they be gone?”

Echo shook his head. “I’m not sure. I don’t think it’ll be too long.” He offered a hopeful smile. “Hunter doesn’t like to leave you on your own, even now.”

You scoffed and held your arms with your hands. “It doesn’t feel that way.”

Echo took a step closer to you. “I will say, Senator, that he stayed because he wanted to be able to bring back something new for you.” He lifted the corner of his mouth in a genuine smile. “Just like you had asked him to.”

You softened, though your frustration and worry continued to fester within your chest. “Well, it works very conveniently with his plan to avoid me.”

Echo huffed. “Yeah. For now.” He nodded at you again. “Just give it time. You’ll have your chance.”

You set a hand on Echo’s shoulder. “I hope you’re right, Echo.” You added a pat before you walked over to your doors and watched them open for you. “Make sure you get some rest, okay?”

Echo called into the suite after you. “You too, Senator.”

You smiled to yourself at his meaningful concern for you as the doors closed, leaving you in your lonesome once again. Though you wished more than anything that you would be getting an evening briefing from Hunter again, and thus an opportunity to talk to him, Echo had been right. He just needed time—and maybe you did, too.

But neither one of you had time, and that was the problem. Tomorrow’s battle would more than likely put an end to this mission, whether you were successful or not. Waiting was the last thing you wanted to do. You couldn’t bear the thought of letting both your world and Hunter slip through your fingers.

Despite these strong worries, you were able to do what Echo had gently requested you to. Your body was exhausted with the weight of all the burdens you had been putting on it, and it wasn’t long before you were able to fall into a deep sleep.

You weren’t sure what time it was when you heard the door to your bedroom open.

The knife was thrown before you could even sit up. Rather than hitting you, however, it disarmed a mysterious shadow at your side. You tried to kick your startled body into action, but before you could roll away to the other side of the bed, you were seized by the shadow’s two strong arms. They forced you out of the bed as they held you tight against their front, soon adding a blade to your neck as you were forced to look at whoever stood in the threshold of your door.

Hunter. You nearly breathed his name in your strong relief, despite the situation. His helmet was on, but you didn’t need to read his face to see all the panic and tension he held for you. The slight tremble of his blaster that was raised at your attacker spoke for him.

“Move, and she’s dead,” your attacker snarled. It wasn’t a voice you were familiar with, at least.

“Let her go,” Hunter warned in a menacing tone you’d never heard from him before, “or you’re dead.”

“Sergeant,” you called for him, raising your brow as his visor met your gaze. His protectiveness meant everything to you, but your injuries policy still stood. He had to understand that, even now.

“Quiet.” Your attacker’s voice shook with nerves as he tightened the blade on your neck. You grunted at the movement, but you weren’t alarmed by it. It was predictable. “Put down the blaster.”

Hunter tilted his helmet, and his grip on the weapon only tightened. “Yeah, I don’t really do that whole ‘following orders’ thing.”

You spoke up just after him. “Neither do I.”

You held your attacker’s arms and pulled yourself down as hard as you could, flipping him over your back. You rose back to your full height and took up Hunter’s discarded knife, but the sergeant had already shocked the attacker. His blaster, however, was now aimed behind you.

You stepped and turned just in time to avoid an attempted blow from a second attacker, who had hopped through the same open viewport as the other. Gripping Hunter’s knife tighter, you lunged towards them, jabbing the blunt end of the blade against their wrist to disarm them. Just as you leaned back to avoid another blow, the blue light of Hunter’s shot hit the attacker, stunning them and sending them into a steaming heap on the floor.

You steadied your breathing as you rushed over to the viewport, leaning out to make sure there were no others. When you closed it again and stepped away, you were immediately met with Hunter’s concerned expression, his helmet and blaster having been left behind on your bed.

“Are you okay?” Hunter’s brow was knit together, and his voice was strained as his dark gaze gave you a thorough once-over. Your ears burned when you remembered that you were still in your small nightgown. “Did they hurt you?” One of his hands held your shoulder as the other ran over your neck, where the attacker’s blade had been.

“I’m fine.” You kept your voice soft and nodded at him. “Thanks to your senses.”

Hunter exhaled a relieved breath, and as the adrenaline wore off, you could see him returning to his usual self. He withdrew his hands from you and returned your nod. You grimaced at the distance he was putting between you again as he reached for the comlink on his belt and spoke into it. “Boys, we’ve got infiltrators. Crosshair and Tech, do a perimeter sweep, make sure there aren’t any more. Echo, watch the outside door. Wrecker, I’ve got two men in the senator’s suite that I need you to take to the brig.”

You looked down at the unconscious attackers as he spoke. They weren’t any of the trained fighters you would have recognized, and that at least made one glaring truth evident. “These are rogue assassins.” You spoke before you even knew if Hunter was listening to you. “They’re not trained fighters.” Your gaze rose back to Hunter’s, which was watching you with both concern and curiosity. “If they were, that would’ve been a much harder fight.”

“And the trained fighters wouldn’t have jeopardized their upcoming mission.” Hunter lowered his stare to the two men and took a deep breath. “You’re right.”

You attempted both a smile and a joke. “Aren’t I always?”

That at least got Hunter to huff. The sound warmed your chest with a sweet flame, though it was quickly snuffed out when Hunter continued to avoid your gaze. Maybe pushing him wouldn’t be the solution, after all.

You sighed and wrapped your arms around yourself, suddenly conscious of the way you were dressed. “Thank you, Sergeant.”

Hunter’s stare found yours in disbelief. “For what, Senator?”

You chuckled and gestured to the bodies on the floor with your eyes. “For saving me.”

Hunter softened, even as his jaw tightened. There was a swirling cloud of emotions in his gaze that made it hard to resist reaching out for him. “You shouldn’t have to thank me for that.”

Wrecker entered the room before either one of you could continue. He gave himself some time to stretch before he bent down to pick up the unmoving men. “Looks like you two got ‘em easy.” Wrecker let out a hearty chuckle and nodded at you in approval. “Good work, Senator.”

You smiled and nodded at him. “Thank you for your help, Wrecker.”

Wrecker returned your nod and turned to Hunter. “You said you want ‘em in the brig, Sarge?”

“Yeah.” Hunter had already holstered his blaster, and he had his helmet tucked underneath his arm. “We’ll talk to them in the morning. For now…” he gestured to you with his head, but he didn’t look at you, “we should let the senator rest and recover.”

No, rest was the last thing you needed. What you needed was the same man who had just come to your rescue, and you weren’t letting him walk away again. As he started to follow Wrecker, you stepped forward, tightening your hands around yourself. “Sergeant?”

Hunter’s head turned back to you. You let your vulnerability show as you pleaded with your eyes, and your shoulders shook with a deep, trembling breath.

“If I could speak to you for just a moment?”

Hunter couldn’t deny you, just as Echo had insinuated before. He only turned to nod at Wrecker and dismiss him. Wrecker continued on through the threshold, leaving you and Hunter alone in the darkness of your bedroom.

You wasted no time getting to the point. “I owe you an apology.”

Hunter let out a heavy sigh, his head hanging in a guilt he wasn’t even trying to hide. “No you don’t.”

“I do.” You took a step closer to him. “I shouldn’t have snapped at you like that last night. What I should’ve done is remember that this isn’t as easy of a decision for you to make as it is for me.”

Hunter’s gaze darted around as he considered your words. You took his silence as an invitation to keep going.

“But you don’t have to avoid me. I understand that I was unreasonably harsh, and I can’t emphasize how deeply sorry I am for that, but… is this really what you want, now?”

The pain in your voice caused Hunter’s stare to find yours again. His dark eyes did nothing to hide the conflict he was holding deep within him, and neither did the strain of his voice as he spoke. “It’s not what I want at all, Senator.” He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “But I have to avoid you, because I don’t trust myself to be alone around you. I’ll only end up giving in and hurting you again, and that’s not something I’m willing to do.”

Your chest ached for him, but you still took another step closer, keeping your voice level as you spoke. “Your avoidance is hurting me more than the alternative would.”

Hunter’s eyes snapped back open at that, and they were widened in the same panicked way they had been last night. You softened and offered him a reassuring nod.

“Ever since we met, you’ve done all you can to understand me. To show me a sweet kind of sympathy I’ve never gotten before. And I… I never did that for you, at least not in the same way.”

You let your arms fall to your sides, opening up to him completely.

“Now I understand. I understand that this decision isn’t as easy for you as it is for me. But I think that’s because you’re forgetting something.”

You paused, giving Hunter the opportunity to speak. When he continued to remain silent, his jaw tight and his brow furrowed, you went on.

“It’s the same thing you’ve been reminding me this entire time. That I’m not alone.” Another step caused you to be nearly chest-to-chest with him. You reached a hand up towards his face, keeping the movement slow to let him stop you—but he didn’t. Your palm met his cheek, and he started to melt against it. “Neither are you, Hunter.”

Hunter’s eyes closed again, but this time, the motion was less desperate. He finally looked at ease, and you smiled to yourself at the progress you were making.

“If this is something you want… if we’re something you want… you don’t have to figure it out on your own.” You lifted your other hand to the tattooed side of his face, nodding once he had opened his eyes to look at you again. “I’ll be right here, and you know your squad will, too.” You giggled. “Especially Echo.”

Hunter laughed with you at that. It was a soft chuckle full of the same warmth you had gotten to see from him before. A hopeful flame burned within your chest, along with another that was deeply rooted inside of you. It was getting harder to ignore, and you let it fuel you as you leaned your face closer to his.

“Let me help you, Hunter, if that’s what you want.” You searched his gaze, which was only getting softer the more you spoke. “You gave me a choice before, and like I said last night, I’ve made mine. Now, you’re free to make your own.” You brushed your nose against his. This time, the motion drew a soft breath from his lips rather than your own. “Do you want this?” Your eyelids fluttered, your heart racing as your lips just barely touched his. “Do you want me?”

All the worries and pleas had been freed from your chest. You could only wait on him, now, even if every single part of your mind, heart, and body pleaded with you to close the distance. Like you had said, he had given you the choice before. This time, it would be his.

For a moment, Hunter pulled back, and your chest tightened with worry. Then, his hand wrapped around the back of your neck, and his lips were on yours for the first time in much too long.

chapter 5 ⟸ series masterlist ⟹ chapter 7

hunter tag list: @zenrobbins0021 @cw80831 @yunggoblin @maddiedrmr @Molmcb

senator’s shadow tag list: @violetlilly2020 @jellybeanstacey0519 @dindadjarin

#well everyone! buckle UPPPPPPPPP for a rollercoaster #hunter bad batch #tbb hunter #hunter tbb #hunter bad batch x reader #tbb hunter x reader #hunter tbb x reader #the bad batch fanfiction #senator's shadow #dindjarindiaries

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luvhockey111 · 1 day

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accidentally in love

Based off of Accidentally in love by counting crows!!

warnings: drinking, swearing a little bit

my first piece!!! It’s not that great, just wanted something to put out and was bored this morning so decided to write this. Let me know what you guys think and if you have any requests!

Summary: Luke and y/n have known each other for as long as they can remember. What happens one summer night when y/n finds Luke awfully close to a girl? I mean they are only just friends… right?

Overview of Luke and y/n relationship

Luke and y/n have been friends since they were born; as Ellen and Julie (y/n mom) were roommates in college. By some weird coincidence Jim and Allan (y/n dad) had been childhood best friends. This has caused them to grow up across the street from each other. If you think about it, it’s destiny really. Anyways, Luke and y/n always say they are “platonic soulmates” but who are they trying to fool with the use of the word platonic? It’s definitely not any of their family members so themselves and eachother must be the ones they are trying to convince their feelings are strictly platonic..

It was a perfect boat day, the sun was warm and shining and the water was a perfect mix between cold and warm, but refreshing nonetheless. Y/n was sitting next to Luke with her legs stretched out in his lap, his hands atop them, Quinn driving, with jack, Trevor, cole and Alex fighting over who gets to wakeboard next and who gets aux. Jack happened to win both of those arguments somehow. Jack had been saying he was going to be throwing a little party tonight since it was the first week everyone was officially back at the lake. “Jack your parties always end with something bad happening” Y/n mentioned. Jack shot her a look of disbelief. “Ummm last time I checked nothing bad has ever happened to me at one of them, only the rest of you idiots”. In reality jack was right, at his first party Quinn’s girlfriend broke up with him over text. The next, Trevor broke the glass sliding door. The one last summer, the cops showed up and kicked everyone out because it was too loud but jack wasn’t around at that moment so Luke said he was in charge and ended up getting a fine. “I’m gonna bring the boat back we should start getting stuff for tonight and getting ready” Quinn told the group. A string of okays came from everyone. Y/n pov:

Right when the boat docks everyone runs off to go get ready for tonight. Luke and I go to our room- yup we share a room but I mean all best friends do… right? Our room has two full size beds but last summer we pushed them together to make a mega bed. Now it’s really no secret that I’ve been hopelessly in love with Luke for as long as I can remember. Everyone knows it. Sometimes if Luke talks about another girl or if he is talking to one and myself or anyone sees it they shoot me a look of pity. I mean it’s pathetic really, being in love with your best friend since you were legit born and not even being able to tell him. I mean we’ve done everything together our whole lives, I even went to umich for him. There’s times that I think that maybe just maybe we could be something more but every time, wannabe frat boy Luke screws it up and flirts with a girl in front of me or talks about a girl in front of me. I mean it’s not his fault- he has no idea. I was listening to some music before the door swung open and in came Luke “kit, you wanna take a shower first or should I? Or we could save water and shower together” Luke shot me a wink while wiggling his eyebrows. Kit is a nickname the three boys gave me when we were 5 because I loved cats and anytime I saw one whether it be a picture or in person I would shout kit as loud as I could. I may act like I hate it but I love it, I think of it as some form of love. “shut up Luke, you shower first get away from me.” I say while giggling and hoping my face doesn’t betray my words by getting red and hot from the blush I so desperately am trying to hide. “Whatever you say kit” he says as he comes closer to me to give me a hug. The second we hug our song starts to play. So she said, "What's the problem, baby?" What's the problem? I don't know Well, maybe I'm in love (love) Think about it every time I think about it Can't stop thinking 'bout it

The second the song starts to play Luke starts twirling me around, spinning me in his arms. Little does he know this song is literally describing my life. Ugh how I hate Luke hughes for making me feel this way. ~time skip to later that night when jacks party is in full swing~

so far jack has made me take 3 shots of some nasty tequila he’s only drinking to look cool in front of girls and other guys. I’ve had 2 seltzer’s also so far so I’m starting to feel tipsy, keep in mind I’m not much of a drinker I prefer to smoke if I’m being honest. I haven’t seen much of Luke for the past hour, which if I wasn’t tipsy I would probably be freaking out but right now I’m having a good time. Until I look over to the backyard and see some girl with her chest pressed against Luke and his arm around luke… my Luke. I could A.) go outside and cause a scene or B.) just go find some guy to flirt with. Both options aren’t great because the first one I would definitely embarrass myself and have Luke be mad at me and the second, well I’m not the best at talking to guys. Now I’m no Virgin Mary but definitely not experienced enough to be confident in talking to or hooking up with a guy. Except for one guy, Trevor. Trevor has flirted with me since the day I met him. I always flirted back to the best of my ability but in reality he knows how I feel about Luke and I know that he will never compare to Luke, but what’s the harm in trying to make Luke jealous? “heyy trev” I say while going into his side forcing his arm to go around me. “What’s up kit? You having fun? Sure sounds like it” he says with a low laugh. “I am but I need your help with something” “Anything for you kit” as those words leave his lips I feel heat rush to my face. Must be the alcohol. “Can you help me try and make Luke jealous, he’s talking to a girl outside right now and I can’t stand to watch it” I say as I can feel tears brimming my eyes. “Of course I can, you know I love to get on all of the hughes’ nerves.” He definitely has a point there. Trevor and I take two more shots for “good luck” as we go outside. I see the girl talking to Luke and she’s beautiful, beautiful like she just stepped out of vouge. My body starts to feel hot with jealousy, I turn to Trevor and he’s sitting down in an Adirondack chair by the fire so I take a seat on his lap, facing him. Trevor’s hands rest on my hips, again I can’t tell if it’s the alcohol or not but Trevor is looking really good right now. Until I hear the sound of accidentally in love playing from the speakers and hear Luke come up to Trevor “Hey have you seen y/n our songs on” I turn around and all of a sudden Luke’s body tenses, fists clenched and eyes flash an emotion I’ve only seen a few times, something like anger or jealousy even, there’s no way he’s jelaous I thought.

“Oh hey Lu” I say innocently while in the background all that can be heard is

“Well, baby, I surrender To the strawberry ice cream Never ever end of all this love Well, I didn't mean to do it But there's no escaping your love, oh”

Luke grabs my arm and leads me up the stairs to our room. “What the hell do you think your doing y/n” Luke says, face red with anger. “Luke what is your problem” now I’m getting angry. Why is it okay for him to be all over other girls but I’m with one guy WHO WE KNOW and it’s a problem? “Why were you all up on Trevor’s lap like some kind of —“ he stops himself. “Some kind of what Luke? Tell me” He shoots me a look as if I am the one who just implied he was a slut. I go to try and walk out of the door when Lukes arm reaches out and grabs me. “why were you sitting on his lap you only ever sit on mine” Luke says looking defeated. Why am I starting to feel bad? “I just was talking to him and that’s how we were sitting, I don’t know Lu” “we’re you going to hook up with him?” The question lingers in the air. Was I? I mean Trevor’s hot and all but I only really have eyes for Luke but like I said Luke is never gonna happen he doesn’t even have feelings for me. “I don’t know, I mean if something happened I wasn’t gonna stop it.” Luke just dead stares at me. “You can’t hook up with Trevor, you just can’t.” “I can hook up with whoever I want to Luke”

He takes a step closer to me so now we’re only an inch apart. My body feels like it’s on fire, looking up at him with the soft glow of the moon outside he looks like an angel. Ugh What am I saying I’m supposed to be pissed at him right now. “Luke I” Within a second Luke’s lips are on mine. For a moment everything seems right, our lips fit perfectly together like a missing puzzle piece to the old puzzle you’ve had for years and you’re only missing that one piece, when finally you find it in the most blatant of spots. We pull apart and when I open my eyes Luke is smiling at me. “I’ve wanted to do that for so long kit.” He says as this thumbs are rubbing across my cheeks. “Lu can I tell you something?” “Anything.” “I think I accidentally fell in love with you a long time ago.” I say and Luke’s smile gets even bigger if that was even possible. “I think I accidentally fell in love with you a long time ago too.”

“I'm in love, I'm in love I'm in love, I'm in love I'm in love, I'm in love Accidentally

Come on, come on Spin a little tighter Come on, come on And the world's a little brighter Come on, come on Just get yourself inside her love I'm in love”

#luke hughes #hockey #lh43 #trevor zegras #nhl players #michigan #friends to lovers

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mirandyficlists · 1 day

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Fic Searches sometimes take Time.

Hey there my Mirandy Dandies hope you're all well.

After a number of particularly noxious Anonymous messages from someone, or possibly several someones, kvetching about oh so many shortcomings with my Tumblr site and my other actions in the fandom as a whole, I felt I needed to make this post to clarify a few things about:

What I do,

What I'm able to do.

What I'm willing to do

The way this platform works...something, bear in mind, that I can't change.

I am a diehard Mirandy Dandy and one of the things I love to do is to SHARE the goodness and to chat about fics whenever I can. Having been a victim of the loss of Angelfire and Geocities when so much amazing fic was lost to us in the Xenaverse and other of my earlier fandoms, when I became a Mirandy Dandy I was not going to see myself in the same limbo and made a point of fully harvesting all fics as they were posted and keeping external copies of my treasures, updated monthly whenever possible. I did this, by the way, from the beginning on LJ to the present and let me tell you, keeping track of and harvesting fics from LJ was not easy and took a hell of a lot of time copying and pasting but I did it to the best of my ability.

The Mirandyverse is now 18 years old (we should all buy us a drink…well in the UK anyway, lol.) and we have people finding the Dark Side every week. Now these newbies and youngsters have often never set foot on LJ, if they’ve even heard of it, some have never set foot on FFnet even not to mention places like Passion & Perfection and the Pink Rabbit Consortium, and therefor have missed out on some great gems and giants of the days when new fics came out thick and fast. Thus the difference between the 3732 fics recorded for DWP on AO3 and the 5422 fics I have listed on my spreadsheet. Added to this the number of fics that have since been deleted or lost in other ways and you end up with the Newbies truly missing out. And so I try to spread the goodness as best I can and share my harvested treasures when asked, as well as letting the masses know about that on several different platforms.

Because I love the fandom as I do, a significant amount of my time is invested in it, but as with everyone, I have a real 3D life that demands my presence and attention regularly and sometimes exclusively when, well, when shit happens as they say. Add to this my personal disabilities and I sometimes struggle being able to do things and thus have to let some things, like fandoms, slide in order to cope with the day to day. But when I’m better I always come back. And my disabilities can bear good fruit too, in this case my fic Spreadsheets, necessitated for my enjoyment because of my medically induced memory problems but that have been used and enjoyed by the fandom as a whole. Silver linings and all that.

I am always willing to share the Mirandy goodness in anyway I can manage. I LOVE being able to send deleted fics to people who either haven’t read them or aren’t able to access their old favourites because they were deleted. Hence my spreadsheet which keeps track of the existence and whereabouts of about 97% of all Mirandy fics online. And also my Themed Rec lists, now numbering 157 different groupings. All of which assist me in helping out with fic searches which I always try to source whenever they are presented, and that sourcing includes seeking help of other Dandies on different platforms. Now, just to clarify, none of these things are complete or exhaustive, but I do keep them up to date within the limitations stated above AND try to make sure to share them online at least every couple of years. I don’t mind doing it, it gives me pleasure, but to my nasty Nonnies from earlier and any other Trolls who might be lurking…I AM UNDER NO OBLIGATION TO DO ANY OF THE THINGS I DO FOR THE FANDOM. I do it out of love of the Mirandyverse and the vast, VAST majority of truly wonderful Mirandy Dandies.

Tumblr is, as we who tumble know, both glorious and hideous as far as social networking platforms go, and has always been meddled with by admin for the sake of selling it off and trying to monetize it into oblivion and not to actually improve the functionality for the users in anyway. And that is the arena in which I operate this Tumblr and adapt how I do so in order to accommodate my needs.

So just for your collective FYI specifically regarding Anonymous asked fic searches…

If you have sent an anonymous fic search and have not seen an answer posted for a very long while:

I am NOT ignoring you.

I am NOT ‘being lazy.’

I have NOT deleted your request.

And believe it or not I have NOT forgotten about you.

I check my in box weekly to remind myself of the searches I am still tracking down, so

not getting a response to an Anonymous ask only means I have not yet found your fic, but I am still looking for the fic, when time permits me.

Because you sent an Anonymous ask, if I try to answer it and let you know that I’m still looking for the fic, the ask is removed from my in box and I no longer have it in an easily accessible place to remind myself to continue the search. So instead, I keep the asks in my in box until I find the fic requested, which lets be honest my Dandies, given some of the descriptions or key points you sometimes give could be one of several thousand fics and it takes some time to sift through, lolol. If you want to be kept updated on the search progress, then it is much better if you PM me directly so that I can communicate with you.

To finish off I do want to say, ANY Mirandy Dandy is ALWAYS welcome to contact me with asks and questions in what ever way best suits their needs all I ask is that you appreciate any limitations attached to your preferred method and behave accordingly.

The Mirandyverse is generally a stress-free and positive place to be and always has been, and it is my dearest hope that it continues to be a space free from the toxicity that often invades other fandoms. To that end I will always continue to offer my services to fellow Dandies in a spirit of helpfulness and sheer Joie de Vive.

Long live the Mirandyverse!

#mirandy fic searches #mirandy fic search #mirandy

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casualsnickers · 2 days

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Month of Emmet Quick Write

Prompt 2: White

Emmet has been running the Battle Subway alone ever since his brother’s initial disappearance and while he’s elated that Ingo is finally back (and not quite ready to resume his work), he’s definitely… cautious about how the media will react.

Read the whole thing below the cut:

Emmet strode ahead, coffee in hand, sweeping Ingo along the memorized route that they often used to walk along the subway tunnels, never taking his hand off of his brother’s shoulder. They hadn’t gone very far- only half a mile or so.

“These are the service tunnels beneath the A-Line.” Emmet pointed down the corridor toward the servicing doors illuminated by a harsh blue light. “Those doors are connected to a separate line only for depot agents.”

“That, I remember.” Ingo peered closely at the painted-on signs along the way, leaning further into Emmet’s touch as they continued walking along the darkened tracks. “And these tracks are on both sides of the lines?”

“Only one side. Usually on the right,” Emmet responded. He was still reintroducing Ingo back to the subway after his brother’s… unexpected detour to a place he called Hisui. A place Emmet learned had actually been ancient Sinnoh a few hundred years prior.

Baby steps. That was what they were taking. While Ingo was nowhere near being able to comfortably resume his prior position as his battling partner in their workplace, Ingo had shown a rekindled passion for learning all about the muse that had haunted him throughout his entire time in Hisui. It was a step up; a major step up comparing things to when Ingo had been afraid to leave their shared home in Nimbasa, too afraid of the loud noises and flashing lights, likening them to some rather awful experiences in Hisui that had only ever graced Emmet’s ears on particularly bad nights.

Emmet’s Xtransceiver began to vibrate on his wrist. He was slow to pick it up. “I am Emmet.”

“Boss Emmet, this is Depot Agent Cloud,” came a low drawl from the other side of the phone. Emmet could immediately imagine the older man leaning back in his chair with his feet up on the table, probably watching the two of them stumble around the lower tunnels like two wayward Patrats. “Hey. Just thought I ought to let the two of you know; you’ve got lines buildin’ up on the platforms. May wanna get after it.”

“Lines?” Ingo repeatedly confusedly. “I shouldn’t have any lines- the singles, super singles, multi, and super multi are closed for the time being, are they not?”

“They are.” Emmet knew for a fact that they were supposed to be closed. He had mandated it. He had specifically signed the paperwork for it and had sent it to the mayor of Nimbasa and had the documents approved. Days ago. The paperwork mandated that every single advert for the Battle Subway was to be amended to reflect that in no way, shape or form was Ingo to be challenged or sought after for any purpose related to media.

In the past- when the shock of Ingo disappearing had softened ever so slightly- when Emmet was no longer going without food or missing debilitating amounts of sleep- he had begrudgingly allowed guest trainers to star along the multi-line with him if passengers demanded it: Elesa, his talented depot agents- even Burgh or Clay- the latter if he had gambled too much in Nimbasa the night prior.

“Cloud, can you disband the lines on the singles and multi lines?”

“We’ve tried,” Cloud retorted. “Both Cameron and Furze went over there to get ‘em to leave but they aint budgin’. Keep demanding to see Boss Ingo. Aren’t content with hearing the whole story about him not bein’ fightin’ fit. Think they’re entitled to him or something.”

Emmet pinched the bridge of his nose and stopped dead in his tracks, irritation causing his hands to shake. This is exactly why I should’ve closed the Battle Subway entirely… as much as it would have hurt. Working Gear Station paid more than enough, but the Battle Subway had been his and Emmet’s pet project since they had been kids. It had been their life’s work. To set it down for even a moment stung in such an indescribable way that even trying to comprehend the idea made Emmet nauseous.

“And I know you don’t wanna hear this…” Cloud continued, his words dragging along.

“… What. Is it. Cloud?”

“… A gaggle of news reporters are in the main lobby too. Waitin’ to pounce on your brother, it seems. Jackie’s havin’ an easy time rippin’ their ears off, but we’d appreciate some backup up here. But of course, we can call the police if you think it’s too much. None of the regular commuter lines have been disturbed by the gathering… so far.”

“Is that so?” Emmet’s hands were trembling.

Why couldn’t they just leave his brother alone? Why couldn’t they just let Ingo recuperate in peace? Ingo had brought a lot of things with him from Hisui. New pokémon. New experiences. New battling styles. New traumas.

Old diseases that modern medicine had eradicated decades prior. Scratches and scars and stiff joints. A posture that had at first made him appear shorter- one that physical therapy had slowly began to straighten out. It had been months since Ingo’s return- nearly a year- but Emmet wasn’t naïve enough to believe in the first place that Ingo would recover from his ordeal in a quick fashion. It would take a very long time before things ever began to resemble the normalcy they once had. Ingo had become a different person- Emmet was still trying to piece out exactly who the new ‘Ingo’ was.

Emmet had been doing his utmost best to make sure that Ingo was both getting the maintenance he so desperately needed while ensuring that the media- mostly news stations eager to get their story of the week- stayed clear of Gear Station- and most importantly- of Emmet. He had no tolerance for nosy reporters or overeager fans who didn’t listen to the strict warning about leaving Ingo alone. It had always been like that, even before Ingo went missing. He had been on the receiving end of unwanted attention when Ingo had disappeared, cameras being shoved into his face every single hour of every single day. And Emmet hated interacting with the press. He hated being pestered outside of work. His personal hours. If he could have it his way, he’d ban every last one of them from Gear Station for an entire month and then battle them just to humiliate them a little further. Losing to Battle Facility Heads off the clock meant that challenging trainers still had to fork over money. And Emmet knew just the item that would hurt them and their pockets a little bit more while still remaining perfectly legal.

But… Ingo had been the one to twist his arm and force him to relent in the first place. Ingo had been the one to so enthusiastically state his wish to accompany Emmet to work in the early hours just to gain a taste for their own workplace again. It had been Ingo who had gotten so mad when Emmet initially denied his requests. Ingo who had complained vehemently to Elesa about being stuck inside. Ingo who had so voraciously consumed as much media about subways and trains as he could handle, skipping out on sleep just to be able to figure out what the train-idioms littered about his speech finally meant.

Ingo just barely remembered what paparazzi were. He knew exactly the kind of pressure they would exert to see him. To get a good video or picture of him. That kind of trauma lasted through amnesia. Ingo had relented in allowing one of Emmet’s newest Pokémon- a Vikavolt- to distort any picture or video feed that the news stations or nosy fans did capture of either of them- solely to protect him. But that had been the line and Emmet had been itching to make it perfectly clear to the people of Nimbasa- to everybody in Unova- that Ingo was to be left alone in peace.

“- Emmet?” There came a tentative but strong pull on Emmet’s coat sleeve, pulling him squarely out of his thoughts. Ingo’s concerned gaze swam into the view. “You’re dissociating. Keep steady. Remember your safety checks.” Ingo then let go before fixing his posture. “I can… I can face them if- “

“No.” Emmet firmly grabbed Ingo by his shoulder and steered him over to the servicing tunnel door, shoving him in first. “I am Emmet. I will deal with the… guests. I will have them leave and then we will make our way to the back rooms.”

Ingo was quick to turn on his heels the second the doors closed. “I cannot stay hidden forever, Emmet! I must- “

“You do not have to do anything!” Emmet’s voice bounced off of the concrete. Made Ingo flinch, even. “I will deal with them! That is my job!”

“They are only curious! No harm will come if I simply bid them a quick ‘hello’!” Ingo then met Emmet’s gaze, a flame of determination sparking to life in his eyes. “I want to make an appearance,” Ingo iterated. “They will not leave me be unless I do, correct? Then why continue to skulk around in the tunnels?”

“You’re not- “

“We are,” Ingo asserted. He pulled away, striding toward the dizzying ladders as he began to climb. “I don’t wish to hide anymore.”

“Ingo- “

“Emmet,” Ingo retorted back in a slightly mocking tone. And in a much softer but confident tone, Ingo continued, “I want to say hello. My question is, will you support me?”

There came a moment. “Of course I will!”

“Then we both have nothing to fear! If I become too overwhelmed then- “

“- I will escort you to our office where the press cannot follow us,” Emmet concluded immediately. The backup idea still didn’t make Emmet’s heart beat any slower. “Please inform me if you get too overwhelmed.”

“Emmet, I am not the Salamanca Locomotive. You are forgetting that Hisui hosted more dangers than simply tolerating paparazzi.”

“I’m not insinuating anything.”

Ingo didn’t respond immediately. Instead, he led the way as the two climbed the stairs higher and higher, Ingo himself shakily using the PA to order the depot agents to gather every contender in the main plaza of Gear Station for a ‘surprise visit’. The fear in the man’s voice was palpable, present in every shaking consonant as they neared the exit door leading to the departure platform.

And Emmet followed along silently, his hand just barely holding onto the tail of Ingo’s coat. Anything to remind himself that it wasn’t just him facing the press- Ingo was there too.

“…I want to do this alone.”

Emmet paused. They had come to a full stop in front of the exit door, Ingo still standing with his back to Emmet.

“…What?”

“I… I would like to greet the press… alone.”

“…May I ask why?”

Ingo took in a deep breath. “You have… you have been very accommodating, Emmet. You have been nothing but generous and selfless and thoughtful during my reintroduction to Unova. Truly, you are the best brother I could ever ask for.”

Why does this sound like Ingo is about to say something bad? “…What are you even saying, Ingo? I’m your twin. I’m your only brother,” Emmet chuckled weakly.

“I know. You’ve done much for me. But I think… it’s time… to travel along these tracks alone. Not literally, though,” Ingo backtracked, fixing his hair underneath his cap. “I just thought- well, really- it would be better for me to appear alone. It’s nothing against you, really! But I don’t want to be seen as- “

“A liability?” The words hung in the air for a long, long time. So long that Emmet was almost certain that had been what Ingo was trying to get at. “You don’t want to be seen as… incompetent. Constantly having to be chauffeured around the subway, is that right?”

“…You would be correct.”

“Ingo- “

“I can’t help what I feel, Emmet! I just- will you let me greet them alone?”

“…I can take the other exit- “

“- As in, let me speak for myself,” Ingo clarified, grabbing hold of Emmet’s sleeve with a harried quickness he’d only ever reserved for fleeing out a room when the light switch was flicked on. “I would still greatly appreciate you being there to assist me! Please! Do not decouple from me! I simply meant-”

“…Of course, Ingo.” Emmet shut his eyes and nodded. I’m still wanted. I just… have to… let Ingo lead. Emmet tapped his finger against his side. Ingo always used to lead. He’s trying to lead now. So I will let him. “You lead. I will follow.”

The two brothers paused by the door before turning on a heel to face each other instead. Small fixes were made. Ingo’s shirt was tucked back in. Emmet’s hair was fixed. A few pieces of lint were picked off and sent flying. A few scuffed pokéballs were shined and put back in their places. Ingo made the final call, giving Emmet a thorough once-over before turning and slowly lifting his hand to the door.

“…Say the words.”

Emmet chuckled. “Do you even remember them? You don’t even remember yours.”

“But I remember your lines. I never forgot them.”

Those words alone made Emmet’s throat tighten with pain. His voice shaky, Emmet took his place right behind Ingo, placing a calming hand on his brother’s back. Quietly, he began his usual script. “Fine… Follow the rules. Safe driving.”

“Follow the schedule,” Ingo continued, his voice barely audible.

“Everybody smile. Check safety.”

“Everything’s ready.”

“Aim for victory.”

With a deep breath, Ingo pushed down hard on the door bar. Flashes of blistering white light scorched the tunnel. The din of snapping shutters and the howl of anxious, excited voices blasted into the small concrete hallway. Emmet tightened his grip on Ingo’s coat- more for himself than his brother. He then gave the biggest grin he could muster as he stepped out of the servicing tunnel and onto the platform which was thronging with people. Ingo’s tight grip on him only strengthened but his hands weren’t shaking anymore.

“ALL ABOARD!”

#pokemon #subway boss emmet #submas #subway boss kudari #pokemon emmet #subway master emmet #ingo and emmet #emmet #ingo #pokemon ingo #subway bosses #subway master kudari #monthofemmet #day 2

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