#not to mention it made me hella depressed too

[jasonntodd]

.

[nicksbestie]

can you do a fic of little! matt where in one of their vids he gets hella anxious and as soon as it ends he just needs you and needs to be in little space

Recording - M. Sturniolo

Summary : Sometimes being in front of camera is just too much to handle.

Warnings : mentions of anxiety, crying,

Word Count : 1438

Pairing : Matt Sturniolo/Reader (romantic)

A/N : This is an age regression fic, which is purely safe for work and innocent. Any hate/disrespect towards me, my work, or readers, will not be tolerated.

As someone who already struggles with severe anxiety, the automatic pressure that came with sitting in front of a camera and having the knowledge that it was going to go out for millions of people to see was amplified by ten. There is a lot of expectation on Matt’s shoulders every time they get ready to film, and while the majority of the fanbase don’t mind when he’s more quiet in the content that they post, there is always a nagging feeling in the back of his own mind that it’s bothersome, not entertaining enough, that his personality needs to change a bit, and those strings of thoughts do get to him. Not often, but sometimes it is enough to cause some issues during, before, or after filming. 

His brothers often cracked small jokes about him never talking, and while he was generally a quieter person, there was a part of him that was silent because of the fact that he was sitting in front of a camera, and anything he said would be on the internet forever, and he would have to live with that for the rest of his life. Sure, they had a lot of stupid content out there, but that didn’t mean that the anxiety didn’t grab him by the throat every time the camera started rolling. He was doing better recently, it was not as bad, but he still had his moments. 

Today was one of those days, where he felt like he couldn’t breathe as soon as the light on the camera let them know that it was recording. He had tried to fight through the massive lump in his throat, hoping that they would get enough good footage that Nick could cut out all the bad clips of Matt looking like he was about to cry, which would serve as taking out two birds with one stone, because then he wouldn’t be seeing any extra sad edits of himself in the driver’s seat all over his recommended pages. As much as he loved all of their fans, sometimes seeing how depressed or anxious or sad he looked made it worse because it reminded him that people really were watching his every move in those videos. 

Matt really did love his job. He found it incredibly rewarding that he got to not only entertain but also bring comfort to people through just hanging out with the people that he had been around his entire life, and he wouldn’t want to change anything for the world. But he definitely wished that he could drop the crippling anxiety part of it, especially after such a bad recording day. Both Chris and Nick had noticed that he was off, more quiet than his normal persona on camera, and had tried to question him about it after they had stopped recording, but he had just brushed them off and told them that he was tired. He could tell that they didn’t believe him, but they didn’t push him any further. 

While he normally let his brothers help him where they could, there were a couple times every now and then when he just wanted to keep to himself. This always had the potential to be self destructive, and in the past, it had been, but at this point in his life he had gotten to the point that he was asking someone to come over and spend time with him if he had turned his brothers away. It was the same person every time. It was always you. Sometimes you were there with his brothers, if they had called for him, or if he had opened up enough to let them in too after you were already helping him. He wasn’t always wanting his brothers to see exactly what goes on in his most personal moments, because he held a lot of fear over their potential reaction if they saw what he really used to calm down.

You were more than just Matt’s partner. You were also his caregiver, the person he trusted with the most vulnerable parts of him. You absolutely adored him, and had never once taken that trust for granted. You had no intentions to ever do so. Neither of you could deny the fact that Matt’s way of coping was unconventional, not as heard of as some others, but also infinitely more helpful to his mind than other things he could have chosen. He had already known he was a little before he met you, and while it was a terrifying thing for him to talk to you about, he didn’t think he could be in a relationship with someone who wasn’t open to being his carer, especially knowing he would probably be regressed much more often in a comfortable relationship. 

Luckily, you had already known what he was talking about, and had been a carer in the past. You were more than open to loving that side of your boyfriend, and the relief that washed over his face when you told him that both made you smile and hurt our heart, knowing exactly how difficult it probably had been for him to tell you. Matt’s persona as a little was not very far off from his persona outside of his headspace. As you grew to learn his mannerisms and behavior, you recognized that he seemed to be basically the same person, just younger, smaller. He hovered around a toddler age, but he wasn’t chaotic. He was quiet, reserved, and didn’t talk much, but he was incredibly affectionate. When he was interested in something, you never heard the end of it, but he was content to just sit in your arms silently for a long period of time. 

However, the already small amount of talking completely disappears when Matt is pushed into his headspace from a negative force, like his anxiety. When it gets too bad, he cries a lot, doesn’t speak much, and stays absolutely glued to your side. You normally come over to find him staring in silence, not little, but as soon as you’re hugging or talking to him, he’s crying and it pushes him right in. If it gets terribly bad, it can push him into a younger state, but that is normally when the entire day has been absolutely brutal. Today hadn’t been brutal, but it hadn’t been great either, so you could tell you’d have an upset little when you received the text asking you to come over, and quickly. 

He never really wanted to talk when you got there, so you never pushed him. If he wanted to open up he would, and you knew that if he felt comfortable enough to slip into his headspace around you, when he wanted to talk, he would feel comfortable enough to do so. It didn’t take you long to get there, potentially speeding by more than you should have, but you easily entered after pulling into the driveway, using the key Matt had given you a couple of months ago. You greeted Nick and Chris quickly, moving up the stairs to Matt’s room. You could find him in this house if you were blind, but you still knocked on the door to let him know that it was you outside of it before entering. 

Opening the door, your eyes were met with a scene that was unfortunately fairly normal, but it still broke your heart every time. You immediately sat down next to him, positioning yourself at the base of the headboard, pulling him into you, a gentle pout forming on your lips when you felt his shoulders shake against you. You whispered comforting words for a long time, softly rubbing his back and running your hands through his hair, two things that often proved to be very effective in relaxing and calming him down. You could tell by his body language when he slipped, as his shoulders relaxed, and his arms held you a lot tighter, as if you were going to fly away. 

Comforting an upset little could sometimes be chaotic depending on the level of upset, but Matt normally just cried. It was often just sad to see how much pain he was in, but his littlespace really did help him. He didn’t hide his feelings and was much more open and willing to tell you what was going on, wholly trusting you with his entire being. But despite everything he had deal with so far that day, he knew that once he was wrapped up in your arms with his comfort items and a show playing, he was going to be just fine.

~ taglist : @blahbel668 @mattsgirlfrieeend @69isabella69 @mayhem-72 @iculdstealurgf @iluvm4ttsturni0l0 @sturnioloslife @heartsforkarina @nervousrebelglitter @sturniclo @elliegrace-7 @mattsturnioloisbae @strnilo

~ if you'd like to be added to my taglist, click here!

~ my inbox is open, come chat!!

[pumpkinstrawbrew]

*.of all base passions, fear is most accursed.*

(i think, that one of those reasons why i always adored the scarecrow, even as a kid, not only bc of his horror aestetics, but also bc....fear is generally such a facinzting topic. such a vivid, mundane, yet awfully powerful thing. an' jonathan seems to view himself as both the master n' the slave of said emotion. or more so, he claims that he used to be overpowered by it as jonathan crane, but the scarecrow is the one, who holds it within his palm. an' i mean, both of those things are true an' co-exist. but in this instance, i only took the set-ups, where he's a scared, panicked lil animal. just how i like him, aside from him being absolutely nuts and' vicious as hell. bc i very much love those set-ups too!

but ahh, both drawings weren't planned. like not in a way, they are now at least. i was doodling idli an' sorta wanted to draw some sketchy spooked jon, then somehow other jons came into existence lol. so i just made a collage of them. drawing scarecrow an' scarebat stuff is cathartic for me. i just had to commit an' finish them. an' then make another art, just bc it felt right. or more like, i drew jonathan all distressed an' spooked, an' wanted to give him a comfort after being kinda mean to him. an' ah, yeah well….about that. i guess, one can say, that i kinda did it, but it still looks like a nightmare lmao. aka jon's main nightmare, where he associates batman with headless horseman. but it *batman* gives him a bit of comfort this time. it's kinda shippy, but also kinda not fully? as a shipper, i naturally see it as a nod to my otp, but honestly, this also can be just that. the bat being nice to jon, bc he's depressed an' intoxicated by fear an' mumbling things under his breath. at this point, it's my set-in-stone hc, that batman babysits him sometimes, when he's like this. so if i will draw it for like, third time at some point….then, i will draw it for third time, yea.

bc shippy or not, i just want bruce to pat poor sackhead on the shoulder, since he literally have no one to provide him any comfort / sympathy / pity, like ever. an' bruce can also finally see someone, whose life sucks way more than his own, so it's a win'win. not to mention, that batman's saviour complex prob always hella confused around jonathan. like, he's gotta smack him in the face, cuz' jon is evil, but he's also so sad an' kinda deplorable, that bruce wanna *or gonna* lecture his bullies for him lol.)

[alevicke]

Okay, the same request with the reader running away while being pregnant and then telling them but this time, they told the crew right away and is just fluff and comfort for you to write such an angst-driven plot!

Ahh! I don’t mind doing angst every now and then tbh! It was cool to write it, it was my first time so I hope it wasn’t too bad! 

Also I have another request in line I’ll be working on it soon <3 I’m just slow bc there is so much going on in my life and I’m busy every single day. Good for depression, bad for anxiety lol

If anyone is interested in these same ideas but with other characters please let me know ^^ I just feel too lazy to do them all in this same one, it would be too much so I’m just doing three as max per request <3 I’m also hella slow writing, I’m so sorry!

TADC x READER TELLING THEM THEY ARE PREGNANT

Characters: Jax, Ragatha and Caine

TW: Mention of throwing up. That's pretty much it I believe?? Anything else please let me know <3 All fluff <3

MY MASTERLIST 

JAX

Well, good news! Not so angsty anymore!

Jax was happy to see you approach him. His cocky smile, as always, there. Especially being around you, you could always see how his grin widened whenever you just went to his side. He wouldn’t admit it though, so don’t tell him unless you want an upset bunny saying you’re imagining things. 

But Jax quickly realized you seemed nervous

He raised an eyebrow looking at you while you fidgeted with your own fingers trying to find the words. Boy it sure wasn’t easy and less with Jax looking so intensively at you. But to be fair, he was getting nervous as well seeing you like that and not saying it

“Spit it dollface, what’s the deal?!” he finally said. He wasn’t angry, just, nervous and impatient. He knew something was going on and you were reminding him to Gangle. Thank god he loved you so he had more patience with you than with her “Look Jax.. I- I don’t know how to say this. I wasn’t even sure if it was even possible! But uh- Oh *Bleep*” you said nervously while he raised an eyebrow. Something was off on you so he tried to keep calm while you found the words. You loudly sigh trying to relax yourself and find the words “I’m… I’m pregnant Jax…”

… Jax looked at you, eyes wide opened and started laughing “Good one dollface! You almost made me worried something bad happened seeing you so nervous” He put his hand on his own hip but you were still nervous. Off, you said the joke, why weren’t you knocking it off already? Joking about that insistently wasn’t appropriate, not even for him. It was something serious “Dollface…? You’re joking, right…?”

Your head moving to the right and left was like a stab to his chest. Not like in a pretty bad way, but like, the news… Were just so sudden. You could see heavy sweat run down his face. How, if it was the digital world and you couldn’t even be hot? Who knows, probably something Caine created to express feelings better, but oh boy, you could see his mental chaos from outside already. 

As soon as you grabbed his hand, he softly shook his head looking at you. His heart was running at 1000 miles per second, but the sweet look in your eyes was enough to keep his thoughts in order. You weren’t joking, you were pregnant and most likely, you both would be parents… But you were so sweet with him. You could notice he was panicking of course and every single fiber of his was saying to run away, But there was no way he wanted to leave your side…

It takes you quite some time to calm him enough. He seems nervous, trying to laugh but he even miserably fails at that because he is panicking thinking about having a baby. Last time he could remember something so small was Pomni and upside down from her foot shaking her like a food bell and Ragatha almost killed him. But you do it. He breathes slowly and grabs your hand between his

“Ok toots… I think we can do this…”

Next days Jax is more careful with his jokes on you. It doesn’t mean you won’t receive any, but not so physical. He also makes sure no one hurts you in any way and Caine’s adventures better be softer or he’ll make a big deal until Caine changes them. That’s it without him saying he’s worried for you. He’ll just come up with weird ideas and complains to make everything safer for you

First times with you throwing up, two things happen. One, he laughs at you, second, he throws up as well later on when he sees it. 

It takes him a few days to adjust and help you better. He’s trying but he’s sometimes a drama queen despite you being the pregnant one in the relationship. 

How he continues through the pregnancy and childbirth is a whole other story/request

RAGATHA

When Ragatha sees you in the hall, she smiles and gets closer to you immediately hugging you in her warm embrace. She’s similar to a rag doll, soft and warm, probably the best hugs you could ever imagine. And she’s always up to keep you between her arms

That was the best way to start because you could relax in her arms for some moments before catching your breath and try to tell her

You get increasingly nervous under her eye, which makes her worry for you. You are never usually nervous around her. You both have been dating for so long already you trust each other, yet you were in front of her struggling to find the words

It seems like you couldn’t even create the sentence in your mind to say it out loud. Even your imaginary tongue was being troubled! “Hey… Is everything ok…?” Ragatha asked, softly putting her hand in your shoulder giving a gentle squeeze “You seem… Troubled? Is everything alright?” 

“It’s just…” you try to nod to her question but at the same time you didn’t know if it was ok or not. It was something so unexpected… Something you couldn’t ever imagine… But it did happen… “Ragatha… I have something to tell you…”

Ragatha looked at you with her full attention, still worried about you and almost scared. For some reason her first thought was you could want to break up because you seemed so troubled and scared and like something serious was happening “Ragatha…” you continued “I’m… I’m pregnant… And- I just? I don’t know how it happened? I thought it was impossible… But I’m pregnant and is yours… Ours… We… Are going to be parents…”

Ragatha’s mind almost exploded there for a second. What? How was that even possible? You both- She? And you? HOW? But then again, she remembered you both were in the digital world… She was a rag doll after all which made even less sense for the whole situation. Just the fact a rag doll was talking was impossible so, perhaps, a pregnancy between you both wasn’t impossible either. 

You got worried seeing you got no response for a few seconds, but Ragatha suddenly screamed in joy and hugged you tightly, taking you off the ground in the embrace while snuggling her face against yours. You probably never saw her smile so widely and vibely! You never saw her so happy, jolly! 

She peppered your whole face with kisses while still hugging you “We are going to be parents!!! I can’t believe I’m going to be a mother! We are just going to be the best pàrents and do our best. I’ll be by your side, forever” She smiled, looking at your eyes while she softly and lovingly caressed your cheek. You never saw so much love in her eye before…

Next few days Ragatha was almost your shadow.

Still, if you wanted some privacy of course she respected it, same if you wanted space! She had no problem leaving you some space! But she still wanted to be by your side all times. She wanted to be there for the pregnancy every single second!

Jax couldn’t even get close to you. Ragatha kinda became a bit overprotective of you from Jax. No jokes nor anything on you. You were going to be well protected for quite some time. 

Best caretaker of you. If you throw up she’s pulling your hair so softly you can’t even feel it. She’s there with you every single morning, hugging you and comforting you, caressing your back to help you calm down

And expect A LOT of kisses everyday. She’s so happy to have this adventure with you <3

Pregnancy and childbirth is a lot to write here though so it could be another request or story someday <3

CAINE

Caine always looks at you with puppy eyes whenever he sees you.

He feels SO LUCKY to have you with him! You wanted to be with him there in the circus and be by his side despite how everyone else were always complaining or wanted to escape

You were the only one who enjoyed his work, his circus and his creations! So he would usually create cute and soft adventures just for the two of them to enjoy

This one wasn’t different, except that you seemed different, nervous…

Caine always struggled a bit to understand human emotions and to catch when something is off, but even he quickly realized something was troubling you during your date-adventure

“Now now, what’s in that sweet head, dear? You’ve seemed a bit lost through the whole adventure! Was it too boring?” He looked at you worried. He really tried his best to always amuse you but sometimes, with such stress, it was impossible to fully enjoy the experience. The weight of the secret was too much. Although it wasn’t a secret, you just didn’t find time through the day to tell him until now

“Caine… I just- It’s not the adventure really… I love it and I love being with you here. But there is something important I have to tell you and I didn’t know when to do it because it’s… Delicate”

“Delicate?” Caine repeated “Well don’t worry honey I’ll be gentle. I just want you to be comfortable with me and enjoy the day” He smiled grabbing your hand against his, softly squeezing them and caressing them with his thumb

“Caine… I’m pregnant…”

Caine’s eyes opened wide, still focused on you. For a second, he thought it could be a joke, that perhaps Jax influenced you to say such a horrible joke. But no, you wouldn’t joke about something so serious and important, and you were worried… You were saying the truth, you were pregnant. And HE was the father?

“P-Pregnant?! But- OH I- I’m so silly! When I touched the codes for the humans I- But, I didn’t think it was possible? At least not with me! But my code is practically as developed as yours here so- OH GOD. I’m going to be a dad!” He jumped into you carefully but hugging you tightly against him “I promise I’ll be the best dad ever and give our kid all the adventures and games they could ever imagine!!!!”

You can’t help but softly laugh from his energetic response. It was a relief to see Caine was so excited to be a dad! You were worried but Caine was living a dream practically! Like in a cloud! Almost, because when he separated from the hug he got so immersed rumbling about all the gifts he could create that he almost levitated away. You softly chuckled grabbing his foot to keep him close to you

That took him out of his thoughts and hugged you again “You just make me the happiest AI of all the worlds!”

Next days Caine is always by your side. He takes his job on the circus a bit more relaxed just to be able to spend more time with you. He still cared for the circus and created adventures for the rest of course, but now he dedicated more time for you

The adventures were a bit more chilled as well. Calmed. Nothing that could ever get you hurt. And he was always close to you

Much like Ragatha, he was like a shadow. But he had some more troubles to leave you space because he really wanted to be by your side no matter what. Still, would respect you and give you space whenever you asked

He would often babble about things he could do for your kids to give them a good life there. He wanted your opinion and wanted to create something wonderful.

In fact, he started to create a room for the baby pretty soon! It was like free Ikea, no matter what furniture you wanted he would create it

More about the pregnancy and childbirth could be written but that would make the post too long so that’s perhaps for a different ask/request <3

[leonstoenailunderhisbed]

Lately, I’ve been thinking about Leon, Ada, and Claire. Especially on their relationships because I think they’re pretty interrelating so here’s another analysis made by yours truly <3

TW: mentions of mental illnesses, MY OPINION! + observations. This is strictly based on my knowledge. I’m majoring in English- doesn’t mean I’m 100% correct, it just means I’m pointing out some things that I thought were pretty cool. Take this with a grain of salt.

So I actually propose that we bring the color theory into play, mainly between Leon, Claire, and Ada.

In RE2R and in Infinite Darkness (death island too but I’ve yet to watch it), Leon is portrayed as blue. (His RPD uniform and his suit/jacket) back in my English class (film vs book) we talked about the different types of people and how the author/creator purposefully assigns a character a specific color.

By majority belief, the color blue represents sadness and often times calmness as well. However, I have a different view on why CAPCOM seems to love Leon in winter colors (blue/green/purple)

Leon is the definition of the Blue Character Theory- these types of characters are compassionate, loyal, confident, and can manage their emotions (keep it cool in other words) but sometimes these characters are prone to become over emotional (depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, etc.) and I actually wrote a small paragraph on Leon in infinite darkness about this because I found it so interesting that Leon- a cool and reserved guy, has these complicated emotions welled up inside him and one of the only ways we can tell is by the color of his representation. (Think of Euphoria and how colors really affected the way the characters act, especially Maddy and Cassie and how different they are.)

I’m also going to be hella bold and say that his eyes are a CLEAR representation on his character by color analysis. His eyes are blue, not only because he’s a white man- but because the “eyes are the windows to the soul” thing really does help us understand him better. They clearly did this on purpose to let the viewer catch a glimpse at Leon’s raw personality. His eyes are very expressive if you really REALLY analyze them.

And when you bring someone who is represented by the color red (Claire and Ada) there’s already an established connection between the two. Although Claire and Ada are way too different in personalities, I like to believe that they both have at least the same level of ambition, stubbornness and leadership. Red characters are known to lead or take matters into their own hands when the world is against them. If no one is going to help them then they’ll do it themselves.

In ID, Claire did her own investigation. She took charge and decided to that if no one would help her, including Leon, then she’ll just do whatever she can with the power she has. Ada is similar in that aspect. Ada has a way of getting things done her way, just like Claire. She uses the art of manipulation to make sure her plans are fulfilled, even if it means at the cost of others. She’s ambitious and goal-driven, much like Claire.

CAPCOM represents the two women in explicitly red or at least with red items (hair, dress, shoes, etc.) it makes me believe that they know what they’re doing when it comes to giving characters their own individuality.

Now, we know that blue and red are complementary colors based on the color wheel.

But we also know that Leon and Ada don’t really have a healthy relationship (I’ll get to this in another post near the future once I’ve got evidence) which is contrasting to Leon and Claire’s relationship. Which prompted the question: Why?

I mean, yeah Claire is Chris’s sister and by affiliation Leon enjoys her company. But it is also clear that the two of them worked very well back in RE2R (the fence scene) their chemistry and tension was high but when he’s with Ada, it seems different.

It is no doubt that Leon had/has (? I’m just as confused as bro tbh) a crush on Ada. I read somewhere from the notes on Leon that he was actually glad to have seen Ada in RE4R (not too sure for RE4OG since almost everything is about the remake)

CAPCOM purposefully follows the Red Oni/Blue Oni trope (a Japanese folk tale, shout-out to my professor for putting me on that) but what why are there two red ones and one blue one? Is CAPCOM keeping their choices open for Leon’s potential love life? I can’t say for sure what’ll happen or what everything means because this is something I over analyzed.

Remember, I’m only an English major student, I still believe my observations are pretty vague or at least a little bit underdeveloped. Hopefully sometime near the future I can make better analysis 🙏🏼

Also, tysm for all the amazing comments and reblogs 🥹🙏🏼 idk how to reply to reblogs but I really do appreciate the fact that you guys like my fics. I promise I have more to write (I have a list in my notes app lmao)

[whalyrae]

THE OLD GUARD - CHAPTER 3

"We don’t get a say on how it ends, we never have. But we can control how we live."

Summary : You are a powerful witch, cursed and hurt through ages. Owner of your esoteric shop, you were resigned to live this lonely life when the powerful magic of soulmates and fate came to you.

Pairing : poly BTS x reader (she/her)

Genre : soulmate au, demons bts au, witch y/n au, fluff, angst, eventual smut, polyamory relationships

Status : In process

Word Count : 4.5K

Warnings : eventual smut, angst, mention of depression, death, suicide, past trauma, violence, blood, past (sexual) abuse, past torture, PTSD, scars, self harm, and more.

Tag list : @blackrockshooter780 @babyymeme @starrlo0ver @suckerforv @mushroom-main @m1sss1mp @prettydancingdamzel @i-have-no-life-charlie @avadakadabra93 @veronawrites @kawaiikpoplover268 @didi-9310 @ghostlyworld @carolinexkpop @gooooomz @00ihatesnaku

A/N : HEY YO I'M BACK !! Okay, I'm really sorry it took so long to publish the chapter... my exams, and after that I took a long rest because I travel in Spain and then in Paris during a whole month ! So as an apologize, this chapter is hella long I think it's the longest I've ever wrote in my life jfdkljgfk... I hope you'll like it !

Feel free to comment or send me a message (anonymously or not!) and give me your reactions, your impressions, your questions… I don't mind at all, on the contrary!

In the next chapters, there will be revelations, and answers to questions hehe so please don't hate me too much…!

A BIG THANK YOU again for all these views, I thought that by being absent for so long, my writings would be forgotten … but not at all!

Enjoy your reading, and thanks again, take care, I love you ♥

OH BY THE WAY !! I made a spotify playlist ! If you have any songs who made you think about the story, you can share it to me and I'll add it on the playlist !

Here is the link : The Old Guard Playlist

ps : sorry for the mistakes, it's already 1am here, but I really REALLY need to post something..... ENJOY :D

Masterlist | ao3 | wattpad

Chapter 2 // Chapter 4

☾ ☾ ☾ ☾ ☾ ☾ ☾ ☾ 

“I did it! I beat Ganon! Did you see, Jimin ?”

Jungkook put down his controller next to him on the couch, raising his arms with a big smile. Beside him, Jimin didn't seem to pay attention to him. His eyes focused on his cell phone. 

Jungkook frowned, and turned to Taehyung, sitting on his right. 

"Taehyung, Taehyung! Look!!!"

But he noticed that Taehyung also seemed lost in thought and was not paying any attention to him. 

Jungkook puffed out his cheeks, a pout on his face. 

"Hyungs! What's going on?”

“Do you know where Yoongi is? " 

Taehyung's question surprised Jungkook. He arched an eyebrow and thought for a few seconds. 

He knew that Namjoon and Hoseok had gone to the public library for some research, but he couldn't remember which. Jin had gone to the grocery store. 

And Yoongi... well, he didn't remember seeing him or even remembering him leaving the apartment. 

"He's been missing for a while, he doesn't answer when I try to call him..." Jimin sighed as he threw his phone down next to him. 

They remained silent for a few seconds, while the game on the television continued to play its cinematic. 

Jungkook turned his head and noticed that the window was slightly open. He pointed at it with his chin to his partners. 

The three demons then glanced at each other. They figured it out. They knew where Yoongi had gone.  

"You think he went..." began Jungkook. 

"I wouldn't even be surprised, he was very quiet yesterday after Namjoon’s explanations." Jimin continued.

And they all knew that at those times, it meant that Yoongi had something on his mind. And when he did, he became the most stubborn person alive. Nothing and no one could make him change his mind. 

"That guy... Ah, when he gets home, he'll hear me." Taehyung sighed and ran a hand through his hair. 

Jungkook jumped to his feet. 

"Are you going to wait quietly for him to come back?" He asked, crossing his arms before straightening up from the couch. "Because I'm not. We've been waiting for this moment for way too long." 

°°°

Yoongi was… well she couldn’t describe him. His voice was sweet, his little vibrato always made her body shiver a little. Besides, he was so kind, so gentle, she had never seen so much tenderness in a gaze that was destined to her. 

Well, of course, there was Jin. But that was so, so long ago. 

She bit her lower lip nervously. Thinking about him made her heart ache. She was close to him like she never was since the two of them were separated, yet so far at the same time. She still hadn't thought about how she would manage it. She'd never figured out how to get his memory back, and she’d never found him at all to try anything though. 

At first, she had planned to spend the afternoon with her books, researching curses, spells, or some kind of memory-related magic. She wanted to have some sort of plan before she tried any approach with her soulmates. 

But it seems that one of them decided otherwise. 

Yoongi never took his eyes off her. She seemed to be lost in her thoughts for some reason, probably his visit disturbed her. 

He couldn't read her mind, she was probably powerful enough to block her mind to telepaths, as he and his demon boyfriends were. His admiration for her only grew stronger and stronger. 

He wanted to know what was happening in her head, what seemed to be troubling her. 

From the moment he saw her through her shop window in his cat form, busy watering her plants when he saw the lines on her face when he realized he was standing in front of his last soulmate, the world stopped in front of him for a moment. 

Just as he felt when he met Namjoon, Jin, Hoseok, Jungkook, Jimin, and Taehyung. That feeling of being face to face with someone he'd known all his life, even though he'd never spoken to them, someone who completed him, who finally made him feel whole and fulfilled. 

A soul mate, pure and simple. 

She felt the same way. Like the day before with Namjoon, and when she was with Jin before they separated. However, she wasn't used to experiencing... so many positive feelings and emotions like that.  

She'd also thought that Namjoon would never talk about her or want to see her again. 

Apparently, she was wrong. 

She fidgeted nervously with her fingers, keeping a certain distance between them. She wanted to ask Yoongi where the others lived, to meet them, and finally see Jin again after all these years.

But the problem was that Jin didn't remember her. And when Namjoon, Yoongi, and the others hear about what happened, they probably wouldn't want anything more to do with her. And that was what she was afraid of. 

The pain of losing a soul mate is a sharp pain, like having her heart ripped out, without any anesthetic, raw. 

She met people who had been rejected by their soulmates, or who had experienced the death of their soulmates. They were a shadow of their former selves, and remained so for the rest of their lives, until their last breath. Most of the time, they ended up taking their own lives, the latter being a gentler and more bearable solution than living without one or both halves. 

She'd been through it once, with Seokjin. If she hadn't been immortal, she wouldn't have survived it. 

"I don't know what's been going through your head, or what you've been going through all these years alone," Yoongi began, taking a step towards her, "but it's all over now. I mean, you're not alone anymore, not now that we've found you. You should have seen Namjoon when he came home yesterday, I haven't seen him this excited since we met Jungkook decades ago." He let out a chuckle. 

She looked up at him, he was close to her, very close. 

If he knew, he wouldn't say that. Even though she couldn't deny that those words warmed her whole being without really controlling it. So, Namjoon was happy to meet her? Were they all? 

"You really thought Namjoon wouldn't tell us about you and we wouldn't want you?" He asked, tilting his head to one side. 

"Honestly, yes." she admitted with a shrug, smiling shyly, "I'm... old, very old, I spent several centuries alone, never finding my soulmates so... I always told myself that they weren't looking for me, or simply didn't want me."

And the only one I ever knew, I lost him, she thought.

"Oh, sweetheart," he murmured, his deep, soft voice making her shiver, "I'm sorry it took me so long to find you, we all are, believe me."

He raised his hand, without hesitation, to place it gently on her cheek. Normally, she wasn’t the most comfortable with physical touch, but strangely, she hadn't flinched, she hadn't moved. The warmth of Yoongi's hand against her skin felt good and soothing in a way she couldn't describe a comfort she hadn't felt... for ages. 

She surprised herself leaning slightly against it, even closing her eyes when he started to rub softly her cheek with his thumb. 

She opened her lips to reply but heard something behind Yoongi that made her take a step back. She heard the bell of her shop signifying that someone was entering.

"I knew it!" she heard a deep voice approach them, "I knew you wouldn't listen to Namjoon hyung!"

She tilted her head as Yoongi turned his, not disturbed by the interruption. She was surprised to find herself facing three new people. She didn't need to ask who they were, nor she didn't need to ask Yoongi who these three beautiful and handsome men standing in front of her were. 

When her eyes met those of the smallest of the three, while the other two were talking to Yoongi, she didn't even know about what because she wasn't paying any attention. Her gaze was completely absorbed by this pink-haired person standing a few meters away from her. She was feeling for the second time today what she had felt earlier with Yoongi.

These three people were part of their bond. They were their soulmates too. 

One of the other two noticed the smaller boy's attitude and turned toward him. 

"Jimin, are you..." he began, turning his head to follow his gaze, "Okay..."

His voice trailed off when he saw her.

She didn't know what to say or do, she could feel four pairs of eyes on her now. 

She noticed a smile tugging at the corner of Yoongi's lips and she bites her own nervously. 

He knew that the maknaes would notice his absence, and would quickly realize where he was and, most importantly, that they would come to her. 

"Are you..." the smaller one, Jimin, whispered in a trembling voice, taking a step towards her. 

"Yes... Yes, I am." she replied, looking away, "It's a pleasure to meet y-ah...!"

She hadn't had time to finish her sentence when she felt a pair of arms around her waist and a body pressing against hers. She looked down, surprised to see a pink ball, slightly trembling. 

"We've been waiting for you for so long..." he murmured shakily. 

She felt her head spin slightly under all these new sensations, not so new, but ones she hadn't felt for ages. It was as if she was rediscovering them.

She didn't know how to react and didn't have time to think about it when she felt two new pairs of arms around her waist. 

"Jimin, don't monopolize her yet!" a young man with blue hair sulked, "Ah, I can't tell you how happy I am to finally meet you... Can I call you Noona?"

She didn't know what to say and didn't have time to think about it either.

"Noona," the tallest of the three murmured as he hugged her a little tighter, "I can't believe I can finally hold you... You’re real...!"

She was surprised to see Jimin sobbing quietly in her arms. She looked up, utterly confused, and searched for Yoongi, who was standing not far from her, his hand resting on Jimin's back, stroking him affectionately as he looked at her. He gave her a gentle smile and shrugged. 

"They are our maknaes, Jimin," he pointed to the pink-haired one, "Taehyung," he pointed to the blue-haired one, "and Jugkook, the youngest." He finished by pointing to the last one, who was looking at her with shining eyes.

“Noona, you’re so gorgeous,” Jungkook said, making her blush furiously. 

“Kook’… you're making her uncomfortable," Yoongi grumbled as he brought his hand up to stroke Jimin's hair. 

"I'm not... thank you..." she smiled as she saw Jungkook's face light up, then looked down at Jimin, "Is he all right?" she asked, worried to see him in such a state. 

"Don't worry about him," Taehyung caught her eye and gave her a big smile, "he's very sensitive and just happy to finally find you."

"And we've been waiting for you... "Jungkook continued before letting out a shy little laugh, "Ah, you must have heard it lots of times since yesterday but... It's true... we've been looking for you for years, without success..."

"We've all always had that hole in our hearts..." Jimin spoke again, raising his head, his eyes bright and slightly red, "It was painful sometimes when all that was missing for us was you, I don't even want to imagine how you must have felt without any of us..."

She didn't even notice that tears had started to fall as they spoke. She wasn't the kind of person who cried easily, far from it. But in less than two days, this was already the second time it had happened.

She didn't know why she was so moved by their words, perhaps because they were the people she'd been looking for all her long life, never finding, thinking they didn't want her, which turned out to be wrong. 

She could feel the deep empathy in their words because they'd been through the same thing as her - less so because they were all together - she felt understood by the people who were meant for her, and that feeling was indescribable. 

Noticing her tears, the three maknaes backed away slightly but stayed close to her. 

"Noona I... we're sorry if we said something hurtful..." murmured Jimin nervously. 

"No, I'm the one who's sorry," she replied, shaking her head, "I'm just... I don't know, it all seems so unrealistic..."

And it still was. Knowing that she found her soulmates, that Jin was only a few miles away... After all those years of loneliness, of feeling guilty, of secretly envying the people who crossed her path, happy with their soul mates...

She thought back to Minji's words, yesterday’s evening in their apartment...

« You deserve it more than anyone else. You spent your whole life helping anyone who asks for help, sacrificing your life more than once - literally - for the helping and saving. You deserve to be happy, with those who are destined for you. »

The thought of those words made her tears double. Because after all these years, centuries even, in darkness, the light was finally coming to her, the hope of a more bearable and less lonely eternity was growing inside her.  

“Hey, sweetheart, please don’t cry,” Yoongi’s sweet voice brought her out of her thoughts, “You’re prettier when you smile.” 

She blinked several times and looked at each of the people around her. 

There they were, her soul mates. 

“Ah, I think Namjoon hyung and Hoseok hyung are back home," suddenly muttered Taehyung, who had his phone in his hand, "They want to know where we are..."

"I think we're in a bit of a mess..." chuckled Jungkook, resting his cheek against her shoulder. "Oh, you don't know Hobi hyung yet!"

"Same for Jin, I think we're going to have a bad time when we get home... they're going to be even more jealous!" added Jimin with a small smile.

Her eyes had widened when he'd mentioned Jin's name. He was with them. There was no doubt about it now. The confirmation twisted her stomach slightly with anticipation and excitement. 

Jin was alive. He was in the same town as her after... over five hundred years apart. She didn't know how to deal with it all, again, it all seemed so unrealistic. She felt like she was in a dream, that she'd wake up sooner or later, and that everything she was experiencing now was an illusion. 

If this was indeed a dream, she hoped she'd never wake up.

"I have an idea! Why don't you come with us?"

She lowered her head at Jimin's question. This was something she hadn't expected. 

"So you can meet them too and see Namjoon again! Good idea, Minnie!" Taehyung came and hugged his partner, kissing his cheek affectionately. 

Jimin giggled in Taehyung's arms, making her smile. But the idea of finding herself in the same room as not just one, but all her soul mates. Seeing Jin again, without the certainty that he'd regained his memory... If they found out the truth, what had happened, she'd lose them for sure.

Selfishly, she didn't want that to happen. She wanted to see Jin again, of course. It was all she could think about, constantly, ever since they both split up. But the risk was too big now. She wanted to come to him with a plan, a way of getting his memory back if he hadn't. She owed him that.

"I know we're all more than happy to find her finally," Yoongi began, "but our beautiful soulmate can't just walk away from her business, can she?"

"But Yoongi hyung... I don't want to leave her..." pouted Jungkook, rubbing his cheek against her shoulder.

"I know Kookie, me neither," Yoongi sighed softly, understanding with Jungkook because he too didn't want to part with her, "but I think she needs some time to herself, to get over her emotions, am I right?"

He looked at her, his lips stretching slightly into a thin smile. She could see in his eyes that he wasn't reproaching her and that he was also prepared to stay if she asked him to. Every one of them was ready to go and get the moon for her if she asked them to.

"I understand... it must have been a lot of emotions for you..." Taehyung sighed sadly as he pulled away from Jimin, "So can we give you our phone number? And we'll give you our address too!"

"Good idea!" Jimin exclaimed and snapped his fingers to summon a piece of paper and a pen, " So you can come and see us whenever you like! Usually, there's always someone at home, but if there isn't, we'll give you the code, and you can just make yourself at home and wait for us!"

"Deal," she replied as Jimin wrote their numbers and addresses on the sheet of paper, "and you, feel free to come here, whenever you like, my apartment's upstairs, but I suppose you already know that..."

"What was I saying, she's extremely intelligent, our soulmate, as well as being beautiful," Yoongi smirked, making her blush.

"Aaah, I don't want to leave you, Noona..." Jungkook whined, grabbing her arm, "You smell so good too..."

YoShe u held back a smile, feeling a slight pinch in her heart.

She didn't want them to leave either.

°°°

“You did what ?!”

Sitting on the sofa, Yoongi chuckled as the three maknae shrugged their shoulders at Hoseok, Seokjin, and Namjoon. Namjoon had his arms crossed against his chest, his eyebrows furrowed, while his two companions beside him looked desperate but amused at the same time. 

"You're incapable of listening to a tiny indication, are you..." Namjoon blurted out accusingly, "I hope you haven't scared her..."

"Knowing these three," began Hoseok, addressing the maknae, "they would have been able to jump on her..."

Jimin, Taehyung, and Jungkook glanced at each other. Without needing to reply, Jin's eyes widened. 

"You jumped on her..." It wasn't a question, but a statement. 

"I... I wouldn't go to the extreme of using the word jump Jin hyung..." defended Jungkook with a pout, "and then... it was Jimin who clung to her first and cried like a baby !"

The said Jimin turned to his boyfriend, outraged and betrayed. 

"At least I didn't make her feel uncomfortable by showering her with compliments! "Oh noona, you're so beautiful, you're so intelligent noona!" cried Jimin, pointing his finger at Jungkook, who was frowning, and Yoongi, who wasn't paying any attention to the conversation.

Hoseok and Jin couldn't help laughing as they watched their younger partners bickering, while Namjoon rolled his eyes and ran a hand through his hair. He should have known that his partners wouldn't listen to him and would go and find her the second his back was turned. He wasn't that angry with them, he understood them. From the second they'd said goodbye the day before, all he could think about was seeing her again. Yoongi was the most stubborn and obstinate of them all, and if the maknaes were by nature very impatient, he was even more so. 

He couldn't blame them, she was their soul mate just as she was his. And even if a reason they didn't know existed had darkened her heart and saddened her soul, she could not want to have something to do with them. She just couldn't. 

His four companions had only listened to their hearts.

"Did it at least go well?" finally asked Hoseok, who had settled on the floor, facing the maknaes, "how is she?"

"She's incredible hyung!" exclaimed Taehyung, "She's beautiful and her voice is so sweet..."

"Aaah, I miss her," Jimin added as he dropped onto Taehyung, "we shouldn't have left..." 

Hoseok chuckled and turned to Jin. 

"That means we're the last ones who didn't meet her, ah, that's not fair... Jin, are you all right?"

They all turned to the older man who had sat on the edge of the large sofa. He was staring into space, his face disfigured by pain. 

Yoongi was the first to react and got up to approach his elder. 

"Hyung, is it the same as yesterday?"

Jin took his head in his hands, nodding. He didn't understand why these violent migraines were suddenly coming to him, and more importantly, why he was now having these flashes and memories that weren't his own. 

Or were they? He had no memory of living in a human village with a hill and a big oak tree. And who was this person he was with? He couldn't see their face correctly, it was blurred, like everything that had happened since yesterday. 

"What's wrong with him, Yoongi?" asked Namjoon, concerned. 

"He's never been like this..." Jungkook sat down next to him, also worried.  

Yoongi told them about yesterday's episode in the kitchen, which made Jin wince, not wanting to bother them with it. 

"It's nothing," Jin muttered after a few seconds massaging his temples, "It's just tiredness I guess."

He wouldn't talk about the memories flooding his mind. He didn't want to worry them anymore. He'd look for the answers himself. 

"Hyung you've been very tired before, you've never had this kind of response..." replied Jimin who had gone into the kitchen to get him a glass of water. 

"He's right, maybe it's a problem with your powers? Or... argh, I don't know." Taehyung grumbled in frustration. 

"It'll be fine," Jin reassured him with a small smile, "I'll get some rest, and everything will be better tomorrow. But I will remember that you met our soulmate and Hobi and I are the only ones who don't know her."

He chuckled when he saw the innocent looks on the maknae’s faces and ruffled Yoongi's hair to reassure him. 

"If it happens again, you won't be able to escape," Yoongi replied simply, rising to his feet. 

He said nothing, but when his gaze met Namjoon's, the two demons understood each other. Jin's condition coincided strangely with the meeting of their last soulmate.

Pure coïncidence? Or was there a link between her and Jin's condition?

°°°

Every day there was an outdoor market in Seoul. She used to go there regularly to find various types of plants for her potions, spells, and other magical preparations. But also, fruit and vegetables for her personal use.

This time, Handong has decided to come with her. She closed her shop for the morning and set off in the early hours. 

She looked up at the sky and spotted the moon, gradually disappearing to make way for the sun. The full moon was for tonight. 

She knew that the moon was a very powerful force for witches. It was also that moment when she recharged her crystals and prepared her moon water for the month. 

But above all, the full moon influenced her powers. It was the best time to cast powerful spells and make sure they worked. It was therefore the perfect opportunity to find any spell that would help Jin recover his memory. 

The day before, after Yoongi, Jungkook, Taehyung, and Jimin had left, and after spending a good hour recovering from her emotions, she went back to combing through every magic book and grimoire she owned, whether in the bookshop or her personal library.

She hadn't found anything very conclusive. All the chapters on memory magic had one thing in common: the spells, their effects, and their duration always depended on who was casting them and who was being affected by them. 

The spell cast on Jin could have disappeared, just as it could still be present. She could only know this by seeing him and talking to him. But even that was a tricky thing to do. 

"Is everything all right, sweetie?" Handong asked in a soft voice, after noticing that she’d been quiet for a while now. 

"Hm?" she turned her head towards her, before smiling and nodding, "Yes, of course! sorry I... I was thinking about my research last night."

"Don't apologize," Handong smiled at her, "It's perfectly understandable. Don't hesitate if you need advice, I'm not a specialist, but I'll gladly give you my opinion."

She nodded again and explained what she’d found. Her different ideas, but they all came down to a single point. She had to see Jin to find out about his condition and memory. And that was where she was stuck. 

During her explanations and conversation, she had arrived at the market, and without stopping to talk, she looked at the different stalls, buying some fruit and vegetables from old ladies. 

In the distance, she notices a stall selling papaya. She hadn't seen or eaten papaya for a long time. It was also Jin's favorite fruit. 

Handong was busy with a merchant, so she waved back and headed towards the stall. She greeted the old woman manning the stall and looked carefully at the fruit on display. 

As she reached out to take one, she saw an arm in her field of vision landing on the same papaya as her. Surprised, she turned her head mechanically to see who it was, before freezing, her eyes wide. 

No, it couldn't be true. 

She had to be hallucinating, it couldn't... be him. 

And yet she could recognize that face, those features above all others.

Jin. 

Kim Seokjin was standing in front of her. 

°°°

"By the way hyung, why were you and Joonie at the library yesterday?" 

Jimin was currently sitting on a stool, watching Hoseok who was busy preparing lunch while Jin was away. 

"Namjoon wanted to research our soulmate," he explained as he chopped some onions, "At first I didn't understand why honestly, but you know, over time, you and I know very well that Namjoon's instincts are never wrong."

"Does that mean you've found something?" exclaimed Jimin, suddenly straightening up. 

Hoseok nodded, now working on dicing the vegetables. What they had found in the library... he could still hardly believe it. 

Should he tell Jimin? Or should he wait until they are all together to share the results of their research? 

He didn't have time to think about it any longer. He heard a loud knock, startling Jimin. It wasn't long before Yoongi and Jungkook emerged from their room, also startled. 

"What's going on here?" Asked the older one, "I don't suppose we were expecting company?"

"Maybe it's Jin who's back and his arms are too full to open the door!" Jungkook added, tilting his head to one side. I'll get the door!"

He trotted to the door, dressed in a long sweatshirt belonging to Namjoon, who was still asleep in the room, just like Taehyung. 

He opened the door with a big smile on his face. 

"Hi! What took you so long Jin hyun..."

He didn't finish his sentence. His voice faded as he saw what was standing in front of him. At his silence, Yoongi and Jimin joined him, themselves freezing in front of what was in front of them. 

Y/n was standing in front of them, totally panicked, out of breath, and sweating. 

But she wasn’t alone. 

"Help me... please..." she begged, her voice breaking. They could see she was holding back tears. 

She was supporting Jin, his arm wrapped around her shoulders. A completely unconscious Jin. 

[venus-is-thinking]

DRDT Chapter 2 Episode 12: Initial Thoughts

Hello everyone! I thought it'd be fun to do a post going over some of my first thoughts from the episode after each release. "Initial" is a bit of a stretch, considering I did watch it a second time while making this post, but it's more "initial" in the context of being before the next episode drops. It's sort of like my "initial thoughts" of the Milgram MVs, which are actually the result of, like, 3 hours of obsessing and research, lol.

(By the way, @accirax and I watched the episode together, so apologies if her initial thoughts end up being, like, the same as mine.)

SPOILER WARNING FOR DRDT CH 2 EP 12!

T/W: Body image issues/body dysmorphia, murder, suicide

The Reactions

Confirmation of what I think most of us already suspected! I do think it's a little weird that Nico didn't bring up their testimony about all of the fish being there at the last time they fed the fish. That probably means it's being saved for later in the Trial, I guess?

It's okay Teruko, I saw literally no one in the entire fanbase figure this one out either!

Why is everyone so mean to her though. Everyone here has been an idiot in the Trials at LEAST once

God I missed David

This was so funny. Get his ass.

(In all seriousness, though, I do wonder if we're going to come back to what J said. I don't currently (?) think Arei was drenched, unless the real purpose of the water WAS just to confuse the time of death, so if the water didn't connect with her enough to cool her down, it might be weird that the body isn't warm after all.)

This took me out. Who let you say that. What.

Okay, but Ace, outside of a killing game... why. Like, literally why would a plastic surgeon need to know how to do an autopsy. King.

Like Felicity...? /hj

All in all, though, this was a really interesting character moment for Arturo! And god, the fact that he started learning medical knowledge and spedrun plastic surgery specifically since age 12 HAS to mean something. My vague theories of Felicity having struggles with body image/dysmorphia (Arturo's section of this post) are... maybe real???

Honestly, I'm starting to wonder if Arturo is going to go farther in this game. I don't expect him to survive or anything, but I could see it taking him a surprisingly long time to die. He feels like he's got too much lore to unpack to die, like, next chapter. Unless he gets HELLA focused next chapter, which is definitely possible.

This is so silly. I love them.

(Note: I'm not a Whit mastermind truther, but if I were, I would point out that MonoTV sort of covering up a rules violation for Whit could be relevant. I'm not a Whit mastermind truther though, so I think this is just a very silly joke a la "no wifi! why live :(" )

Well you see Eden, the killer would have actually had all night to prepare. If, say, they mentioned that they could dial in and focus on their work for like 14 hours straight, they could have gotten a lot done before 7:30 AM!

I'll talk about this more later, but the fact that J, David, Veronika, Hu and Nico seemingly have alibis that actually matter is so iconic. I can't believe that many theories died that quick. I'll talk about that more in my theories section, though!

It's been said before, but. Funniest fucking reaction to being declared innocent of murder.

"David still has a family history of depression even if that isn't his secret" nation where you at?

This one made me laugh out loud. Who does it like him

How truthful do we think David is in this next section? I refuse to believe it's 100% a lie, just because he's cooking SO hard on SOMETHING, but I could also believe David thinks he's lying to an extent. I could definitely see a "the best lies are based on the truth" kind of thing?

Also, damn. Xanvid really is real. LGI got me to believe it but WOW David's just being gay on main now

This was a really good, succinct way to have Teruko show her opposition to David's ideas. Even if it is to end the killing game or do something "good' or whatever, Teruko is still hurt and betrayed by what Xander did. Xander tried to kill her, and presumably would have tried to kill everyone else. David is now doing the same thing.

It's going to be really interesting if, whether genuine or not, David is kinda taking on Xander's position. That's going to give Teruko a reason to (outwardly) hate him even more. I'm really looking forward to learning more about how both Teruko and David view Xander.

Also, it's so fucking funny that Teruko and David are literally fighting over Xander. Like, valid, but. Guys.

(Also, David soooo knows Teruko's secret is the killing game is all your fault. Idk if he specifically knows that Xander's plan was to kill Teruko no matter what, but he's definitely caught on to some extent.)

This was crazy. Is Xander famous? Why would everyone recognize him? Like, did David just take particular notice of Xander because he's a simp, or is there something else going on?

Notably, it's also extremely interesting that David says "Even if you all lost a year of memories for this killing game." It almost implies that David didn't? What do you know???

Also, if David DOES have weird memories about this that no one else does, it's a really interesting comparison to Teruko remembering the existence of a killing game in the area investigation when she was talking to Veronika. Are these two getting special memory privileges because they're important? Or does everyone have some kind of memory that they all should have, but only one person knows each thing?

At first I was confused when David said this, because I really don't know how dear anyone in DRDT's life to him was other than Xander. But then I realized, if David is talking about killing 15 others and yourself, he's definitely still talking about Xander's mindset. Xander had something worth the lives of 16 people that he was trying to do.

I don't know how much David cares about ending the killing game. I wonder if "belief in Xander" is the thing he's willing to kill 13 people plus himself for?

I'm starting to get REALLY curious what J's deal is. Between this and her voiced line earlier in the trial saying something along the lines of "it's like you all still haven't grasped just how serious murder is," she definitely seems to have strong opinions on specifically the morality of killing other people. WHY is she being singled out with these beliefs, what does it say about her, and where is her character headed?

(If she is the mastermind, does this couple with the "all murderers must be held accountable" rule?)

"Any answer" is so funny. I think she's looking for the truthful answer, David. This is why no one believes you when you say anything ever /aff

Notably, this is VERY similar to the plan Eden came up with that Veronika described: using the fact that TV shows need entertainment to continue to end the killing game. It's the same thing, but with a much more depressed "everyone should just give up" kind of flavor.

The level of similarity does make me think David is probably not being 100% truthful, and that he just repurposed Eden's escape plan to be something sort of similar to what he was going for.

I do think that he WAS trying to defeat the killing game by killing people through the class trial. I just think that, between Xander's actions and the motive secret he received, he was trying to kill Teruko specifically. Yet another way that David's unhinged behavior ties into the Chapter 2 secrets.

*Hu hopeless child looms in the distance*

I'm so glad that Hu gets to pop off though. She really hasn't gotten, like, any content in the series so far. Here's hoping this is kicking off her getting a bunch of time to shine!

Interesting that they had both Ace and Hu cut Nico off in this interaction. The staging definitely implies that they're trying to show that while Ace is wrong for talking over Nico and not letting them say anything, Hu is also wrong to an extent for not letting Nico defend themself and running to their rescue all the time.

I am begging you. Please discuss the murder method. I didn't realize until my rewatch of the trial that they have actually literally not talked about the murder method at ALL except for telling David that he doesn't know shit about it.

HUH?????????????

Theory Update/Analysis

Well, I'm gonna start this off by saying that I'm still pretty locked into Eden being the killer. We still need to address the tape, and I personally still found her to be decently shifty now behavior wise (she seemed nervous when we turned back to solving the trial, and she says something about "it's too hard to narrow down the killer :/" when people were talking about morning alibis). I just think it makes the most sense.

While obviously my logic for why Levi would be the accomplice has to be at least somewhat flawed, given Levi's surprise confession (!!!), I still think it's possible that Levi is the accomplice here. He could be doing this to further confuse/complicate the state of things (hence why he calls it leading people astray), and it's possible he's not being 100% honest here.

Something that Levi could be doing here is taking control of the situation and spinning the truth in his favor. Hu mentioned earlier (e11, I think?) that the secrets are phrased dramatically. Similarly, Levi may be trying to offer an explanation for his secret that might be more tame, but still believable.

For example, if Levi says that he killed one of his parents because of the circumstances he grew up in, but it turned out that his parents were extremely abusive to him in some way (cough cough Amane Momose), wouldn't people be more willing to forgive the fact that he's a "murderer"? There are different levels to the culpability of murders.

So, it's definitely possible this is still an attempt by Levi to conceal the truth of his secret. It's true that, right now, no one's really trying to match all of the remaining secrets up with the remaining secret holders in-universe, but the entire fanbase pretty much slam dunked this one. Once the content of the secrets was revealed, it wasn't too difficult to track the origin of this secret to Levi. Levi might know that, and might be trying to spin it in a positive way while he can get everyone's attention and tell everyone the same narrative here in the class trial.

I don't think any Levi accomplice or killer truthers have to fully give up on the idea, or at least not until we see what Levi actually says after this. It's a WILD topic to reveal we're going to talk about, but we haven't actually talked about it yet. If we were told "we get David's motivations for trying to throw the trial," I doubt literally any of us would have locked in the prediction of "David is trying to follow in Xander's footsteps by killing everyone via the trial because he kind of remembers Xander." So, until next week, I'm keeping an open mind!

This was insane. I can't believe we actually got a new episode, and that we're gonna KEEP getting new episodes until the chapter finishes. What the fuck!!!

[v3nusxsky]

Hey!! I have a Lady Lesso request ❤️

Female reader and Lady Lesso have an exclusive D/s relationship. Reader is her submissive, not her gf and etc

Reader has feelings for her, but doesn’t talk about it cuz she’s too afraid to lose what she already has with Lesso

But something happened with reader (you choose, it can be the death of a family member/friend, depression etc), Lady Lesso notices there’s something wrong with reader and confortes her and makes reader feel cared for and better

Basically a mix between smut (BDSM obviously), angst and fluff LMAO

Also, if you’re willing to can you make it LONG? I really love your writing ❤️

Complicated| mixed

*Authors note~ gosh my requests are really clocking up rn so I'm doing my best to get through them guys! I'm so sorry it's taken so long really the next few months are hella hectic for me. Kinda changed it slightly to g!p but you could imagine it as an enchanted strap*

Trigger warnings~ dom/sub non romantic, g!p lesso 🤭 r has depression triggered by family abuse as a kid sh daddy leo praise degradation punishments, free use r somnophillia mentioned voice kink, bondage

Prompt~ see ask^^^^

✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿

Bumping into Leonora at the cafe was the most unexpected yet magical thing you have ever experienced in this dull life. Something about the woman had you captivated, and no it wasn't just her extraordinary success in the legal word. Safe to say you caught her attention too, that's how she ended up slipping you her business card with two words scrawled beautifully across it, "call me" you weren't going to do it, after all it could've been a joke or perhaps you had imagined it all but the card sat in your wallet like a glowing reminder. She'd instructed you to call her and life seemed to push you towards doing so which is how you found yourself entering this agreement.

One small call ended up with you signing a contract with all the contents of being her submissive. Life had to be messing with you now, but then again it was about time you got something good in your life right? Leonora made it very clear that you could end the contract at any point like she could, strictly sex and nothing else but after care would always be given. She asked for details on your limits and hard nos she instructed you to choose a safe word and ensured you would want for nothing as her submissive and all you had to do was be at her beck and call. Easy right?

It was for the first six months, in those months you looked forward to the calls and texts from your dominant. Most of the time she sent a driver to come and bring you to her office, on the rare occasion you were called to her mansion where she would already be waiting in her play room, selecting out the toys she wished to use. Most of your punishments were carried out here as it was more of a practical clean up. You quickly learned that once after care was complete you were sent on your way, marked, sore and left with the beautiful memories of your time with her.

Some of your favourite encounters with her was the very very rare occasion you passed out in her bed and woke up to her girthy dick sheathed into your soaking cunt. Cock warming her until she was ready to use you again. Truly you were nothing more than her pretty little whore to use whenever she saw fit and that was something you'd began to like probably more than you should. Like wouldn't be the correct wording of course, you found yourself catching feelings for the red head but out of fear of losing the daddy dominant submissive relationship you have you decided it would be best to keep quiet. After all having her like this was better than not ever having her again. The idea of losing Leonora made your heart clench painfully.

You were a fairly good submissive really, only earning a few punishments here and there when you saw how stressed she was knowing it would help her relax, her favourite form of punishment was to edge you while you sat pretty of her dick warning it up for her to roughly fuck your throat until your make up trailed down your cheeks leaving you a needy mess in which she may even throw you over her lap and spank your pretty ass till it's all red. And yet you took it al like the good girl you are for her.

Leonora didn't truly realise her own feelings for you until she called for you and you never came. The disappointment and worry sat in her stomach like a rock leaving her more agitated as the hours trickled on. How could you not answer when she had summons you to! That went against the rules and the contract. You'd never broken a rule like this since the beginning, sure you could be a brat sometimes, but nothing unmanageable, truly you loved being her good girl so none of this made any form of sense to her now. Immediately, her mind jumped to the worst conclusions and that's where she decided being the head of her own firm got her privileges of her own, so she picked up what she needed and immediately set out to find you, first stop your apartment.

Leonora is a creature of habit, so it's to no ones surprise that she's had the same driver for years so he was absolutely use to ignoring what happened in the back of the car. Despite that he couldn't ignore the worried state of the normally stoic woman. "Ma'am? Are you alright?" He tentatively wondered out loud but was quickly met with the slamming of the divider in a response. Clearly Leonora wasn't in the mood for talking.

The car hardly came to a stop before the angry redhead was out and racing to the doors to find you. She wasn't exactly expecting to see your apartment absolutely trashed to high hell, which seemed very unlike what she had imagined, not only that there was shards of glass and some held a dried crimson tint. Immediately she began to panic and call for you, your submissive title, your name and even a love or darling may have slipped from her lips.

Finding you was the worst moment in her entire existence. Laid on your bed your arm littered in fresh bleeding cuts as you drifted in and out of consciousness. You skin seemed paler than before your hair knotted and tangled, the baggy shirt seemingly falling off your frame. How on earth could she have missed this?!

"Y/n?, my love please wake up darling" she demanded coming to apply pressure to the self inflicted wounds, wincing at your blood now staining her hands. "Let me go" you weakly mumbled trying to turn away from her. "No! Y/n ad your daddy I won't let you go! You're mine!" She all but snarled using her playing voice which seemed to trigger an innate response in your mind. "Leonora" you gasped in shock trying to rush to sit up, eyes darting around your depression room, "It's normally tidy I swear! Oh my gosh I'm so sorry daddy give me five minutes and I'll be ready for you!" You mumbled trying to stand up despite the wave of dizziness and her hands applying pressure to the wounds. "We aren't going to play right now darling, sit."

You sat back down, her tone leaving no room for arguments but her eyes somehow seeming softer than you've ever seen before. "Now, while I clean and bandage these, darling I demand you tell me what's been going on." You did as you were told of course, starting from the very beginning of your rough childhood and right up to the present day where you explained you'd been triggered off by a family visit, one of which they took great pride of telling you how worthless and unlovable you are. Hell one of your brothers even told you, "to earn money you may as well stand on the corner of the street, don't forget a bag over your face though otherwise no one will wanna touch you." You remember how they made you feel like you don't fit in there, like no matter how hard you try you just don't belong in their fancy world.

Leonora made sure you lived comfortably as per the contact so to hear such horrid words about the clothes and things she brought you just to see a small smile on her submissive before railing you into next week hurt. Leonora finished her work, satisfied they were properly taken care of before somehow producing the contract from her blazer pocket. "You see this darling?" She asked gaining your attention before tearing it apart. "Gone. No rules to stop me saying this. I love you Y/n truly I think I always have since that day in the cafe, I just wasn't ready to admit that I loved someone so beautiful. I'm setting you free Y/n to follow your heart, but never forget how I will always love you darling."

She loved you? Crazy. Insane. Unrealistic. But true. And by the way you slammed your lips onto her own she could tell that you love her too. So there was no need for contracts of deals when you both held love for each other. She could dote on you, spoil you, cuddle you and make love to you. You'd never feel this level of pain again, not on her watch. Your happiness will always come first. And she silently promised herself that she'd never leave you this long to check on you. Pulling away from your lips she moved to kiss each area of your bandaged arm, "you my darling girl, are so loved and worthy and I never want to see you hurting. Next time you come to daddy okay? I can help you my sweet girl."

It would take some time to navigate this new dimension to your relationship but none either one of you'd ever regret. Leonora was happy to take on you as her lover and her submissive and you soon found out you liked every side of the red head. The daddy dominant, the gentle lover and most of all your kickass lawyer of a soulmate. Life would finally look up for you and you couldn't wait.

Word count~ 1759

[sunthyme]

Okay y'all made the mistake of encouraging me so here's my headcanons and some ocs for Heartslabyul!

Sorry for how small it is but format-wise, I'll discuss the dorm leader, then canon characters in descending year order, then ocs in descending year order.

Also, decided to make the school co-ed because 🌸 girls pretty 🌸! And safer for Yuu. Additionally, as a general rule of thumb, if a character is the same gender as the og reference, I tend to make them transgender in some way.

Anyways!

♥️Riddle Rosehearts♥️

(she/her) Transfem - Panromantic and Demisexual

- Firstly, transfem Riddle has my heart so there's that.

- I made her mixed, probably British and Chinese, though I'm open to suggestions cause these are pretty much first drafts.

- From the get-go I wanted her to have hella freckles, idk they're cute.

- Also toned down her og hair, too many damn gingers in this house lol. Gave her grey streaks from her stressful ass childhood.

Next up,

♣️Trey Clover♣️

(he/him) - Bisexual

- I made him black. No particular reason other than his og skin was waaay to pale in contrast to his hair, in my opinion.

- The reason he and Riddle seem so close is 'cause he and Che'nya were the first to know Riddle was trans and he does his best to cover for her.

- Autistic, dental hygiene is a strange special interest but whatever floats his boat.

- Also, he still wears glasses, I was just lazy lol.

Onto

♦️Cater Diamond♦️

(he/they) Transmasc - Pansexual and Demiromantic

- Stayed more or less the same. Gave some lighter blonde streaks for 🌟flavour🌟. You can decide whether those freckles are real or not.

- The first of the Depression Club(tm) characters because I love Cater angst. Wait til you find out my kin list omg.

- If we're talking my college AU, he'd be a cosmology or cosmetology major, whichever the makeup one is idk. He was taught by an older sister (who works at a tattoo shop/piercing parlour) how to do piercings and is the primary piercer on campus. He did Trey's probably Riddles, Adeuce's lip piercings and more characters that'll show up later.

- The one natural ginger left in Heartslabyul (I hunted them to near extinction lmao). Also, transmasc. I think his mom really wanted all girls and was not thrilled about him being trans. Anyways!~

Ah, now for

♥️Ace Trappola♥️

(he/him) - Bisexual

- Made him half Hispanic, half Asian. No particular specifics (again, open to suggestions pls I love hearing others' headcanons). Also got some freckles, I fucking love birthmarks lmao.

- As mentioned, I'm on a crusade against the gingers /jk but I did give him dyed hair. He and Deuce dye their hair together, idk cute date idea tbh.

- Adeuce also got lip piercings together, even though Deuce tried to warn Ace that lip piercing aren't the best first ones, Ace insisted. Cue Deuce having to help take care of Ace's piercing cause he's a dumbass. Can you tell I love them? And their one collective braincell.

- Crippling ADHD, this bitch cannot sit still to focus on anything.

Speaking of Deuce,

♠️Deuce Spade♠️

(he/him) Transmasc - Gay

- He's half-Filipino, half Vietnamese(? Not quite sure yet) and I gave him dyed hair too, obvi.

- Gave him his momma's blonde streaks and some scars from his delinquent day, plus some piercings.

- Couple moles for funsies, and made his eyes brown.

- He is soooo AuDHD, people can fight me on that. On god, he's my son. Also transmasc, his mom is an amazing ally (she's probably bi herself nvm).

Onto my ocs!

🔮Oki Chiang🔮

Third Year - (she/her) - Asexual Aromantic

- So this is my girlie twisted from the Blue Caterpillar. She's not a smoker or anything but I think she's be a total incense and perfume and whatnot girl.

- Spiritualistic and whenever you walk into her room, it smells amazing. If you want a tarot reading, she's your girl.

- Oki's very reserved and tends to keep to herself, often reading or quietly sipping some tea with Riddle as they work.

- She's Taiwanese and also autistic. Her whole wardrobe is blue, so are most of her things and she love nice smells.

Next up is

🎀Luna Madden🎀

Second Year - (she/they/it/whatever, she doesn't care too much) - Bisexual Aromantic

- You'll never guess who she's based on /j. My Mad Hatter character! I didn't have a particular ethnicity in mind for her but she takes heavy inspiration from Harujuku fashion.

- She and Cater have to work together to dye her hair every time it needs touch ups. It's a huge pain in the ass but she likes how it looks and Cater is fine helping.

- Has acne and uses those cute lil star and heart cut-out patches to cover it.

- She LOVES bright colours and has way too much fun prepping for the tea parties. Owns a ton of weird and neat lil earrings that she likes to mix and match.

- Also has ADHD. I feel like that's obvious lol.

Now for

⏳Bunnie Chrona⏳

First Year - (she/her) - Asexual Lesbian

- Twisted from the White Rabbit, and a super creative name I know... I don't have a ton of explanation here other than I thought it would look neat.

- I was super close to giving her all white hair but I didn't want another character with dark skin and light hair (which will be relevant in later designs too) so I gave her a gradient. All natural, by the way.

- She's autistic too and gets extremely anxious whenever she's late or someone else is late (Adeuce constantly give her heart attacks because of this).

- She's also a part of the track and field club!

Last, but certainly not least

💥Ness Benoit💥

First Year - (she/they) Transfem - Bicurious?

- Last girl and she's based on Lock from The Nightmare Before Christmas movie. Spoiler, she is one of three triples, I assigned them to different houses, and they have an older sister based on the Boogeyman.

- I thought it'd be cute to give her little devil horns as a hairstyle and I made her makeup the same as the og characters'.

- It's been a hot second since I've seen this movie so I can't remember much about the kiddos' characterisations but my dad said Lock was the brains of the of operation so she gets book smarts.

- Also, her name is a silly little joke on 'loch-ness' because I was too lazy to try and find something else.

Thank you so much if you read until the end, this was a massive post to make. I'll make my Savanaclaw one tomorrow, hopefully. If I remember lol.

Love you! 🩷🩷🩷

[inkedreverie]

𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐥𝐝 𝐂𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐬 𝐈𝐧

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: husband ! andy barber x wife! female reader

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: When your mother dies after suffering from Alzheimer's disease, you struggle to cope with the pain.

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 & 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬: 18+ content. grief, angst, depression, loss of a loved one, andy being a perfect husband ( yes, that's a warning), once again. smut, p in v sex, vaginal fingering, angst with a happy ending, sad/grief sex, mentions of Alzheimer's disease, angst but fluff at the end. Mentions of God, fucking in a church. (oops.), mentions of alcohol.

𝐚/𝐧: This poor man! I always get hella muse for angst fics when it comes to him. One day I'm gonna write the fluffiest romantic fic with him but, today is not that day. lol. This fic is very self-indulgent and the inspo is from personal aspects of my life so I'm excited to share it with you guys.

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 6.1k +

𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 | 𝐈𝐧𝐛𝐨𝐱 | 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐨𝐧 𝐀𝐎𝟑

When the storms of life batter me, be the hand that I hold. When I have nothing else left.

She knew this moment was inevitable. From the very beginning, she had seen the signs, and over time, they had only grown more pronounced. Y/N could still hear the echoes of Andy's voice in her mind, offering comforting words. "You did everything you could, babe." But those words couldn't alleviate the ache in her heart or the invisible weight that seemed to press down on her ribcage, slowly suffocating her.

Tears streamed down her face, starting from the inner corners of her eyes and burning as they made their way down her cheeks. She sought solace in the sanctuary of her bed, hiding beneath the plush covers made of Egyptian cotton. Sleep became her refuge, a temporary escape from the harsh reality she was facing. She desperately wanted to believe that this wasn't real, that it wasn't happening. Just when she thought she could catch her breath, the respite was shattered by the memory of the phone call from the care center.

"Andy, stop!" Y/N giggled as he playfully showered her face with kisses, their bodies cozily intertwined on the couch. "Mmm. Only if you give me one more kiss," he teased, a mischievous smirk adorning his face. Their lips were about to meet when her phone rudely interrupted the moment. Glancing at the caller ID, she sighed, recognizing the number from the care center where her mother was currently residing.

In an instant, her demeanor changed. Her shoulders slumped, and the once radiant smile faded away. Taking a deep breath, she felt the soothing touch of her husband's warm hand massaging her back. Andy had witnessed the gradual decline in her mother's health, so a part of him was not entirely surprised. But as he saw her body tense up and tears welling up in her eyes, he didn't need to ask. He already knew.

The words echo in her ears, "I'm sorry to inform you. But your mother passed away last night."

She mouthed a small, tearful thank you, her voice already cracking, before placing her phone down on the coffee table in front of them. Taking a deep breath, she felt her chest tighten with a sense of dread that washed over her. Unable to hold back any longer, she broke down, her hands instinctively covering her face as tears streamed down.

Andy immediately enveloped her in his arms, pulling her close and holding her tightly against him. Resting his head against hers, he provided a comforting presence as she cried into his chest. Her body shook with sobs, and warm tears soaked her face. It all felt unreal. Her mother had passed away, and she hadn't even had the chance to say goodbye, too consumed by her life with Andy.

"It's my fault, Andy. I should have visited her. I should have been a better daughter," she wailed, her cries echoing through the room. Andy shook his head, gently pulling her away from his chest to look her in the eyes.

"No, no, no, no, Y/N. No, sweetheart. You are an amazing daughter. You're an amazing person. And I know your mom thought that too," he reassured her, his voice filled with love and understanding.

More tears welled up in her eyes as she shook her head. "No, no. She died alone and probably scared. I should have been there. I should have..." Her voice trailed off, and she abruptly stood up, running into the bedroom as more tears threatened to spill down her cheeks.

Her husband quickly followed her, stepping into their bedroom and finding her leaning against the bedpost. Tears blurred her vision as she spoke, her voice filled with anguish. "I can't do this, Andy. I can't face her. I can't." She sobbed uncontrollably as he slowly approached her, reaching out to gently wipe away her tears.

"Yes, you can. And I'll be right there with you. Every step of the way, babe," he reassured her, pressing a tender kiss on her forehead, a promise of unwavering support and love.

The next morning was consumed by the somber task of planning a funeral and making arrangements for her mother's final farewell. Y/N anxiously sat by the phone, waiting for a call back from the funeral director she had spoken to earlier in the day. Taking a deep breath, she exhaled slowly, running her hands through her hair, trying to gather her thoughts amidst the whirlwind of emotions.

Everything else seemed to blur together - the funeral planning, the drive to the funeral home, and the day of the funeral itself. Andy noticed the profound change in her demeanor, the quietness and distance that had settled upon her.

He understood the immense pain she was enduring, as they both grappled with their grief. The most difficult part was verifying her mother's body and informing friends and family of the funeral date. While she could notify most of them through social media or text, having to engage in phone conversations with some was almost unbearable. Hearing them share cherished memories only intensified the ache in her heart. She knew it was their way of grieving and bidding farewell, but it did little to alleviate her own anguish.

To make matters worse, her husband had to witness her breakdown multiple times, offering solace as she wept. She was consumed by anger, guilt, and a sense of selfishness. How could she have let her mother down, even in her state of deteriorating mental health? After what felt like an eternity of making calls and notifications online, she finally joined her father and husband, sinking down onto a bench with a heavy sigh. Andy and her dad didn't miss her weariness.

"How are you holding up, angel?" her father asked, gently stroking her hair. Y/N looked up at her husband, finding comfort in his soft, reassuring smile, which she gratefully returned. "Not so great. But, I'm hanging in there, I suppose. How about you, Dad?" She posed the question, her lip caught between her teeth, her worry evident.

He smiled, giving a small shrug. "Oh, I'm alright. We can only move forward, one step at a time. God called your mom, and he had his reasons. It could have been cancer or something far worse. He called her home, and we can't continue to torment ourselves over this. It's not what she would have wanted.”

Her hands paused in mid-air, hovering over the boxes filled with her mother's belongings. The weight of guilt still clung to her, dragging her down into a sea of remorse. Thoughts of what could have been haunted her, tormenting her with images of her mother's final moments, alone in that cold hospice bed. She closed her eyes tightly, squeezing the bridge of her nose in an attempt to alleviate the pain that threatened to overwhelm her.

"Let's go home, honey. All of us," he said, extending his hand to her. Y/N's trembling hand reached out and clasped his, and a wave of relief washed over her. She released a long-held breath, feeling a glimmer of solace in Andy's presence. As her father and husband made their way to the car, she was overcome by an overwhelming sense of guilt. She couldn't help but wonder if there was something, anything, she could have done differently. Was there a chance she could have been there for her mother in her final moments?

Her legs shook beneath her, and goosebumps prickled on her skin as she grappled with the weight of her emotions. Andy's hand enclosed hers, offering a measure of comfort that calmed her nerves, if only slightly. He guided her towards the car, understanding the turmoil that churned within her.

When they arrived at their home, her husband unlocked the door and led Y/N and her father into the warm embrace of their sanctuary. Without hesitation, she shrugged off her coat and tossed it onto the waiting coat rack. But as she glanced around the room, a strong urge to unpack and organize everything overcame her. She felt the need to keep herself busy, to distract herself from the turmoil within her heart.

Andy's concerned gaze met hers, and he gently asked, "What're you doing, sweetie?" His expression reflected his worry, longing to understand her actions.

She took a deep breath, her shoulders sagging under the weight of her conflicting emotions. "I... I was going to unpack. I thought it would help me keep my mind off things," she admitted, her voice tinged with a mixture of exhaustion and determination.

Andy's concern softened his features, and he placed his hands on her shoulders, offering her support. "I understand that you want to stay busy, but right now, you need to focus on taking care of yourself. Unpacking can wait. Allow yourself time to rest and heal," he advised, his voice filled with love and compassion.

She sighed, feeling torn between her need to distract herself and the necessity of confronting her grief. She knew deep down that Andy was right, that she needed to prioritize her own well-being during this painful time. With a nod, she yielded to his guidance, allowing him to lead her away from the boxes and towards a moment of respite in their home.

Andy's heart ached as he witnessed her anguish, her tears falling freely down her cheeks. He longed to ease her pain, to mend her broken spirit. Without hesitation, he rushed to her side, his arms encircling her trembling form. He murmured soothingly, his voice a gentle lullaby, as he rocked her back and forth, as if cradling their unborn child. His fingertips traced comforting circles between her shoulder blades, offering solace in his touch.

She bit her bottom lip. She wanted to leave it all there. "I can't believe what a failure of a daughter I am, Andy. A good daughter wouldn't have left her mom's last minutes being some sort of empty hospital room!" Tears started falling from Y/N's cheeks again.

"Oh no, honey, shhhhhh," he whispered softly, trying to calm her sobs. The weight of her words, filled with self-doubt and guilt, struck him deeply. He knew the depths of her heartache, the torment of feeling like she had failed as a daughter. He wiped away her tears with the sleeve of his shirt, his own tears threatening to spill.

"There's always going to be that feeling of guilt in you," Andy spoke gently, his voice carrying a mix of empathy and understanding. She looked up at him, her eyes searching for reassurance and validation. Cupping her face in his hands, he met her gaze with unwavering sincerity. "But I know deep down, she knew how much you loved her. You did what you believed was best, and even if she couldn't express it in those last moments, I know your mom loved you more than words can say.”

His voice quivered slightly, tears welling up in his own eyes, but he remained resolute, keeping their connection unbroken. Her bottom lip found solace between her teeth, a sign that she was trying to hold back her tears. She nodded, finding solace in his words, burying her face back into the nape of his neck.

As she managed to calm herself, her breathing shaky but steady, Andy's tears began to fall silently down his cheeks. Still, he held her tightly in his arms, his love and support unwavering. He brought his lips close to hers, placing a tender kiss upon them, a gesture of comfort and affection.

She pulled away slightly, her eyes searching his face as she cupped his cheek. "Don't you cry too? Please?" she whispered, her thumbs gently wiping away the tears that streaked his cheeks. His lips formed a tight-lipped smile, his hands moving down her arms to envelop her hands with his own.

"Hey, can you excuse us? I want to talk to my wife alone," Andy interjected, a hint of playfulness in his tone. She couldn't help but smile at his words, appreciating his effort to lighten the mood. Her father chuckled softly, understanding the need for privacy. "Nothing dirty, sir. Or raunchy. Promise," Andy added, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

Y/N's father snickered, his laughter a bittersweet mix of emotions. "Okay, I'll leave you two young kids alone," he said, his voice tinged with a touch of sadness. But before he made his exit, she placed her hand on her father's shoulder, her expression filled with gratitude and understanding. "You don't need to keep walking on eggshells around me, Dad," she reassured him, her voice filled with warmth. Her father returned her smile, tears still glistening in his eyes. "I know you've been strong all day. Stronger than any other girl I know. You look exhausted. Please go lie down. Take a break.”

Her father's concern touched her heart, knowing that he worried for her well-being amidst the overwhelming grief. She nodded, her voice choked with emotion. "Okay, Dad." She gave him a sad, tight-lipped smile before making her way up the stairs and into their shared bedroom.

She sat on the edge of the bed, the weight of her emotions pressing upon her. She kicked off her shoes, and began to undress, her mind swirling with thoughts and uncertainties. The bottled-up grief threatened to consume her. She wondered if a small nap and a hot bath would provide some respite, or if the lack of sleep and constant nightmares would further exacerbate her pain.

Lost in her thoughts, she was caught off guard when Andy entered the room. He sat beside her, his presence a comforting anchor in the midst of her turmoil. His hands gently took hold of hers, his eyes locked onto hers with unwavering love and concern. "How are you feeling, honey?" Andy asked, his voice filled with tenderness.

Her eyebrows raised, and she realized that amidst her own pain, she hadn't taken the time to consider how Andy was coping with their loss. She hesitated for a moment before speaking up again. "Andy," she began, her voice filled with a mix of vulnerability and curiosity. "How are you holding up?” He froze. He wanted to break down, to cry, scream, yell. But seeing her already vulnerable, the thought of sharing his emotions in that moment. She didn't need to deal with any of his bullshit on top of everything else.

Her voice trembled as she cut Andy off, her desperation evident. "Please tell me," she pleaded, her eyes searching his for answers. "Please, I want to know."

There was a moment of silence, filled with the weight of their shared grief, before Andy found his voice. "This really sucks," he finally spoke, his words heavy with the raw truth of their situation.

Y/N remained quiet, waiting for him to elaborate, to offer some semblance of understanding. "This fucking sucks. And that's okay," he continued, his tone filled with a mix of resignation and acceptance.

She nodded, her expression unwavering, as she processed his words. It wasn't the response she had hoped for, nor was it the answer she had sought. But in that moment, they both realized that there were no right words or perfect explanations for the pain they were experiencing. They were navigating uncharted territory, and all they had was their love for each other to guide them through.

"I'm sorry, Andy," Her voice wavered with a mix of guilt and sorrow. "I've been so consumed by my own depression that I haven't thought to ask how you're feeling during all of this." She sighed, her gaze falling to their entwined hands, seeking solace in their connection.

Andy's eyes softened, filled with understanding and empathy. "Babe, no, don't do that," he reassured her, his voice gentle yet firm. "Don't beat yourself up over how you think you should have felt or acted. Everyone deals with grief and depression in their own ways. Sometimes, our reactions are different, and that's okay." He gently placed his hand over hers, offering comfort and reassurance.

Tears welled in the corners of her eyes, a mix of sadness and guilt washing over her. She had already shed so many tears in the past weeks, yet they still managed to haunt her, carrying the weight of her emotions. Guilt for missing her mother, for mourning her absence, and guilt for feeling relieved that her mother was no longer suffering in that cold hospice room, alone.

Andy interrupted her self-loathing, his finger gently lifting her chin, redirecting her gaze to meet his. Her glossy eyes locked with his, and he moved his finger from her chin to caress the side of her face, a tender smile gracing his lips. "Remember our vows?" he asked softly, his voice filled with love and conviction.

Tears blurred her vision as her chin trembled, but a bittersweet smile found its way to her lips as she reminisced. "In sickness and in health, for better or worse, 'til death do us part," she whispered, her voice filled with the weight of their commitment.

Andy nodded, pulling her closer into his embrace, seeking solace in their shared strength. "What we have now could be so much worse," he murmured, his voice filled with gratitude and love. "And the fact that we've managed to make it here, through all that we've faced, just further proves to me that what we have is real. It's forever.”

She chuckled sadly, tears streaming down her face, as she shook her head in disbelief. Her eyes met Andy's once again, a mixture of sorrow and love reflected in her gaze. "You've always been so optimistic," she managed to laugh softly, her voice tinged with sadness. She reached up to wipe the tears from her cheeks, a bittersweet smile playing on her lips. "That's one of the things I love about you, Andy.”

He beamed at her, pulling her even closer as they embraced, seeking solace in each other's presence. Andy buried his head in Y/N's neck, giving her a tender squeeze, before whispering, "I love you, so, so much.”

They sat in silence, wrapped in the warmth of their embrace, until she decided it was time to retire to bed. She stood up, pulling the covers back and sliding herself under them. Andy had already changed into more comfortable clothes, lying next to her on his back. The feeling of the soft mattress beneath his body eased some of the tension that had built up within him.

She bit her lower lip, her knees pressed together as she pondered her thoughts. "How do you do it?" she whispered, her gaze fixed on Andy's face as he smiled warmly at her. She inched closer, tracing her fingertip lightly along his bare chest. "

How do you stay so... optimistic all the time?" Her voice remained low as she rested her head on his shoulder, their fingers intertwined. The desire for physical intimacy welled up within her, a craving for connection and solace in his embrace.

"Because of you," he replied simply, his lips pressing a gentle kiss to her hairline. His fingers danced lightly up the back of her arm, causing a shiver to run down her spine as she moved her body closer to his. She tilted her head up, her eyes pleading and searching. Andy understood what she yearned for, what she needed. He wanted to ensure she was ready, that they were both in the same place emotionally.

He brought his hand up to stroke the side of her face, his thumb wiping away a stray tear that had escaped her eye. Meeting her gaze, he silently asked for permission. She nodded, her heart filled with longing. Andy shifted his position, hovering over her, propping himself up on his elbow as he leaned down, his lips gently brushing against hers.

"Andy, take away the pain. Please?" she whispered, her eyes locked onto his, filled with a mixture of vulnerability and desire.

Andy couldn't deny her request, not at this moment, not when she looked at him with such longing and trust. "Of course," he murmured, his voice filled with love and devotion.

And with that, his lips crushed against hers as she eagerly accepted them. She parted her lips as his tongue slipped inside, their tongues massaging each other, desperate for contact. Andy moved his hand down, sliding her panties off as his lips trailed her neck. Y/N let out a small whimper, Andy's lips pressing kisses to the area right below her ear.

"So beautiful.”

His hand slid down between her legs, his fingertips brushing against her already swollen clit, making her shudder. Her hips bucked slightly at the touch. Andy's thumb began circling her clit as his middle finger teased her entrance. His lips trailed down her throat before returning back to her mouth, capturing them in a passionate kiss. He pushed his finger into her wet pussy, and she moaned into his mouth.

He broke their kiss and pulled his finger out before bringing them to his lips, sucking them clean of Y/N's juices. His tongue danced along her bottom lip and Y/N pulled away, giving Andy room to continue his path. His mouth closed over her left nipple, biting lightly. She moaned louder this time, Andy's hand caressing her breast before his lips moved on, repeating the same movements to her right breast, eliciting a gasp from her.

He sucked gently before releasing her nipple, pulling away as her heart sped. His fingertips brushed against her sides lightly as she watched him. His blue eyes connected with hers, smirking slightly.

She gasped again, his fingers entering her slick channel, her juices dripping onto his fingers. He pressed his mouth against her inner thigh, tasting her for the first time in ages before lapping her clit teasingly with his tongue, his fingers moving deeper. Her eyes fluttered shut at the contact, Andy's tongue circling her clit, his fingers moving faster, her body arching. He sucked on her clit, sending shock waves through her body as she moaned, her walls fluttering around his fingers. She came hard.

As he pulled his fingers from her entrance, Andy pressed his mouth against hers passionately once again, their tongues massaging against each other again. She moaned when his hardened cock grazed the inside of her thigh, Andy positioning himself at her entrance, her hands gently tangling in his hair. She nodded, encouraging him to continue.

As he slid himself inside her, they moaned together, wrapping her arms around his shoulders,and pressing her face against his. He was filling her completely. He kissed her forehead tenderly, then her cheek. His blue eyes were glossy.

"Y/N.." He whispered softly, stroking her cheek with his thumb.

His mouth returned to hers, passionately and with need, slowly pumping in and out. Andy could hear her panting, his heart pounding harder, their bodies moving together as if they were made for one. He broke their kiss again, moaning slightly. He cupped her face, locking eyes with her again.

"I-Fuck, hun!" He cried out, as he felt the pressure building inside him again, thrusting deeper in slow rhythmic beats. She bit down on her bottom lip, desperately trying to quiet her moans.

"Shh. We have to be quiet, remember?" she whispered, her hand caressing the side of his cheek. Andy groaned softly against her as he continued pumping inside her. "I know. It's just...You feel so good…"

He quickened his pace again, moaning against her neck, his breath hot on her skin as he buried himself to the hilt. She came quickly, moaning Andy's name and her walls contracted around him. He could feel himself exploding and his hot seed fill her cunt.

As they rode out their orgasms together, his lips sought hers, pressing against her forcefully as their bodies stilled and her muscles relaxed. Andy collapsed beside her on his back with a small 'oof,' still catching his breath. She curled herself against his side, resting her head on his chest with a smile, letting the wave of post-orgasmic bliss wash over them.

Andy tucked a piece of hair behind her ear and kissed her forehead.

"Thank you," Y/N mumbled, barely conscious as sleep overcame her. Andy pulled her body into his, spooning her. He knew how much she needed this. To feel loved. To know that he was always there for her. And no matter what, no matter what happened or what would happen, he would be.

He sighed, planting a small kiss on her temple before wrapping an arm around her waist. "Sleep, honey. I'm right here, Y/N. Always." Andy whispered reassuringly, a small smile forming on his lips, his arms and body curling into her as she drifted into a peaceful sleep.

The next few days became a blur, and as the reception began after the funeral, she wasted no time in seeking solace in alcohol. She had felt like a slave to her emotions for far too long, but not today, not at her mother's funeral. She would drown her pain with drinking, numbing herself to the overwhelming grief.

Secluded in one of the empty rooms of the church, she hid away from the other guests. Her bloodshot eyes widened when she heard the door open, revealing Andy on the other side. Sniffling, she wiped her nose with the back of her hand, her cheeks stained with tears.

"I'm sorry, I know I should be out there," Andy said as he sat down on the pew beside her. "But I wanted to see how you were doing.”

She sniffled again, wiping her cheeks, shaking her head as fresh tears threatened to spill over. She lifted her glass, the red wine inside almost depleted.

"I just can't feel anything right now, Andy," she said, her voice cracking slightly as she took another large gulp from her glass. "I just need something. I need..." She paused, her hand covering her mouth to stifle another sob.

Andy could see the profound sadness and defeat etched on his wife's face. He scooted closer, leaning his forehead against her own, seeking to offer whatever comfort he could.

"Baby," Andy whispered, his voice filled with love and compassion. "I wish I could take away your pain. I wish I could alleviate all of your suffering..." He moved his hand to gently cup her face, feeling the wetness of her tears against his warm skin.

"I love you more than anything." His thumb brushed away another stray tear from her cheek as he leaned in, pressing his lips gently against hers, allowing the kiss to linger for a moment before pulling away. Her breathing became heavy, and Andy knew that she needed this moment, this shared connection amidst the somberness of the funeral.

She kissed him back harder, tears still stinging her eyes and she swallowed them down before Andy broke their kiss. He pulled his arms around her, holding her tightly in his arms. His heartbeat quickened, his hand moving down to caress her inner thigh, shivering under his touch as he moved his palm under her dress and along her slit, she moaned softly as his finger slid inside her, thrusting slowly.

Andy's fingers gently rubbed her swollen clit as he leaned over Y/N against her inner thigh, causing another moan from her again. "Let me make you feel better. Let me make you forget, even if it's just for a moment," he mumbled against the shell of her ear. She nodded again weakly, Andy continuing his motions as she leaned in close, moaning loudly when he slipped a second finger inside her, moving faster.

He began kissing every inch of her skin as he pressed a third finger inside her slick pussy, bucking her hips up to meet Andy's fingers as they began moving faster again. She moaned loudly again with need when Andy's fingers slid in and out of her as his thumb rubbed small circles against her clit. He licked his lips before bringing them to the shell of her ear, biting it lightly as she let another loud moan escape her again. Andy rubbed harder as she squirmed slightly, her hips rising more.

"Oh god!”

"Shhh, baby," he whispered, causing another shiver before he kissed her hungrily, in an effort to quiet her moans. Andy continued stroking her as he pushed his finger deeper until she exploded around him, covering his fingers with her juices. When he removed his hand, she grabbed his face, crushing her mouth onto his lips before pulling away reluctantly and looking deep into his blue eyes as they sparkled under the sunlight peering through the window.

"Andy I..." she breathed out as more tears came streaming down her face, which she quickly tried to hide. He wiped her cheeks with his fingers lovingly before placing small kisses all over them.

He then pulled away as she lifted the back of her dress to clean herself slightly off before settling back into a comforting cuddle with him. Her face was streaked with tears, but a sense of peace seemed to wash over her. Her hand ran slowly across Andy's chest and neck, her touch gentle and soothing, before she brought her lips against his, kissing him deeply as the rest of the world melted away.

Even after the funeral, the pain seemed relentless, refusing to subside. Most days, Y/N stayed confined to the bedroom or distanced herself from Andy. She found herself pushing him away, a behavior she had vowed never to indulge in. Yet, here she was, sulking in bed, the ache in her heart growing with each passing moment. Initially, she had thought that drowning her sorrows in alcohol would help, but it only made her feel more miserable.

She longed for her mother, and no amount of anything could fill the void left by her absence. Andy's efforts, no matter how earnest, couldn't seem to mend her pain. In some ways, Y/N even resented him for it, for his inability to take away her anguish.

At times, she questioned whether she was deserving of love. After all, Andy had other responsibilities to attend to. But deep down, there wasn't a day when she didn't yearn for his presence, wishing he could help restore a sense of normalcy to her shattered world.

The ache persisted within her chest, but this time, it felt different. Andy would be returning home from work soon, and she couldn't quite grasp how she should feel. Intimacy between them had been absent for weeks, following their recent argument which often culminated in her seeking solace through alcohol-induced sleep.

Sitting on the edge of the bed, she stared off into space, her mind lost in a sea of memories. Tears welled in her eyes, but she fought hard to keep them from spilling over. The front door swung open and shut with a loud thud, marking Andy's arrival. His familiar figure emerged through the hallway and into their shared room, freezing momentarily in the doorframe. She couldn't tear her gaze away from him, even as he stepped closer.

"Honey... I know you're going through a difficult time, and I understand. I struggle sometimes to provide you with the comfort you need, and it hurts me just as much as it hurts you," Andy began, his voice filled with sincerity. "Y/N, I want you to trust me."

Andy paused for a moment, allowing his words to sink in. She opened her mouth to respond, but Andy pressed on, not wanting to leave any thought unfinished.

"I want you to trust me," he continued earnestly. "I want you to know that everything I have ever done is out of love for you. I have always strived to protect you, provide for you, be there for you, comfort you, listen to you, support you, make love to you, and hold you through all your emotions, whether you're sad, happy, or even scared... even when you're angry. I have done all of that and more, and I will continue to do so."

She blinked back tears, her eyes watering as Andy moved closer, placing his hands gently on her hips. She looked down, unable to meet his gaze.

"I love you so incredibly much," Andy confessed, his voice filled with raw emotion. "If there was a way to make your pain easier, I would do it without hesitation. I would sacrifice anything because I cannot bear the thought of losing you. It would destroy me from the inside out, and if that were to happen... I think I would go mad, because that's how deeply I love and care for you. I know there have been doubts lately, and it hurts me to see you in such pain. Your pain is my pain, Y/N... I just want my wife back."

She couldn't hold back her tears any longer, and she began crying uncontrollably. The tears streamed down her face, and Andy pulled her close, wrapping his arms around her tightly. She buried her face into his chest, clinging onto him for support.

Her tears flowed freely as Andy tenderly placed his finger under her chin, gently lifting her face to meet his gaze. Their eyes locked, and he leaned in, softly pressing his lips against hers, kissing away each tear that ran down her cheeks. His warm breath against her skin provided a comforting solace. They stayed in that embrace for what felt like an eternity.

Finally, she looked up, her eyes gazing into Andy's once again. For the first time in months, she let go of her tears, feeling a sense of release and acceptance wash over her.

She sniffled, her voice filled with remorse. "I've been a terrible person, a terrible wife. My grief has consumed me to the point where I've been pushing you away since the funeral. It's all still a blur, but I remember the hurtful things I said, and... I do love you, Andy. Even though I haven't been showing it well at all." Her gaze dropped to their intertwined hands as she confessed her shortcomings. "But... I'm still struggling so much with my mom's loss. And I've been taking it out on you... And for that, I'm truly sorry."

She squeezed Andy's hands and brought them to her face, lifting her eyes to meet his gentle gaze as he smiled softly. She wiped away her tears before speaking again. "I'm sorry..."

Her face buried in his chest once more, she continued to sob, the tears flowing freely. Andy ran his hand soothingly over her hair, resting his head atop hers. With each tear that fell, he tenderly wiped it away with his thumb, placing soft kisses on her cheeks. Y/N continued to cry, her emotions overwhelming her, until she pulled back slightly, resting her cheek against Andy's chest once again. She closed her eyes, finding solace in the steady rhythm of his heartbeat.

"I forgive you," Andy assured her, pulling her face close and leaning down to kiss her forehead softly and slowly. She accepted his forgiveness with grace, allowing more tears to fall as he comforted her.

"I will always forgive you, honey. I will never leave you, no matter what. Even if you tried, it wouldn't be enough to make me go away. Because I love you with all my heart and my whole life. And if you let me, I'll spend the rest of my life showing you just how much I love you and making sure you feel as comfortable and loved as possible. Always."

He spoke softly, his voice filled with love and understanding, as he placed her hands against his heart with his own strong hands. He smiled warmly down at her, and she returned the smile, albeit with a hint of sadness.

"You deserve all the love and support in the world," Andy whispered, his words filled with sincerity. She leaned up, pressing a soft kiss to his lips, and he responded with a slow and tender kiss of his own. The connection between them felt comforting and reassuring.

She then took Andy's head between her palms, pulling him close against her, and pressed her forehead against his. Andy wrapped his strong arms protectively around her, holding her tightly. In that moment, they found solace and strength in each other's embrace, knowing that their love would help them navigate through the challenges they faced.

divider credit: @.saradika

[enby-crisis]

Favorite Criminal

Ominis Gaunt x Reader

Summary: With everyone ignoring you and your best friend still sick, you snap at Sebastian, while Ominis thinks of a way to fix this mess they pulled you into.

Word Count: 1632

Warnings: Mentions of depression, anxiety, and Unforgivables.

A/n: Yeah so this one is hella long but also will have other parts :) Feel free to leave requests. I have too much free time this week and will see what I can do.

You try to be supportive. For Anne. Be there for Sebastian when he needed you. You knew this road he was down was a dangerous one and despite both you and Ominis begging him to be careful- to protect him yourselves, he still was set on a path of destruction with his new best friend. You knew it hurt Ominis more then you that Sebastian spent the whole year choosing someone he just met over the lifetime the two boys shared. Sebastian knew something about this character that you and Ominis couldn't puzzle out. 

Often you and Ominis would sit in the Undercroft later at night and whisper about what you could so to clear Sebastian from the crimes he has already committed with this new student. Thinking of new lies to cover up where those two went sometimes. Ominis didn't want to get his best friend in trouble and you couldn't watch Ominis beat himself up over something that was not even his fault. Though you did have far less involvement in the matter then the pale blonde, since he helped them find the relic in the first place, but he was already blaming himself for that so voicing it would only earn you a sarcastic remark and make him fall deeper into the hole he helped these two dig. 

You tried everything. All of the lies and cover ups are catching up to you and Ominis and after they used the Cruciatus curse on you, then the Imperius curse on Ominis, it was only a matter of time before Sebastian's new accomplice used the killing curse on somebody. Your paranoia was unavoidable nowadays. You felt there were people around you who knew what the two of you were up to. 

You think about running from this. Hiding from the suspicious eyes of professors and students alike. Who knows what these criminals are up to now? Where are they? Who else has this power-driven newbie dragged down with them? You can't focus on studying for your OWLS due to the stress Sebastian's new escapades have clawed into your chest.

It has gotten to the point that Ominis has started to hide things from you. You feel betrayed by the way two boys you've know most of your life cast you aside so easily. Now the only one who tells you anything is Anne.

You miss her everyday. Just being able to take a break from the boys and gossip with another girl. The school still has a spot for her in the dorms. Your dorm. A clean made bed with fresh linins that haven't been in use all year. When you miss her the most you sit on her bed, her name carved into the wooden post of the bed. 

Tonight you cant sleep, you can't handle the feelings anymore and go downstairs to sit at the window. Keep your mind off everything by listening to the water bubbling by the underwater bay window. It is very much your spot so being nearly one in the morning you were not expecting a certain brunette to be sitting there with a strange book.

"What? Telling everybody in our year about the Undercroft wasn't enough for you, you had to steal my spot to?" You snap at him, causing Sebastian to startle before meeting you hard gaze.

"No, I though you would be with Ominis at this hour. And I didn't tell everyone about the Undercroft, just one other." He says, giving you attitude right back with ease.

"Save it. I don't care that much, and why do you think I'd be with Ominis? Did he not tell you?" Your line of questioning confuses him. You scoff. "Oh let me guess. Too busy replacing him with someone who actually enjoys your obsessions?"

"Enjoys?" He puts his book down to talk to you, "Maybe if you and Ominis were more willing to help I wouldn't have had to find someone who was." His anger is evident in his loud tone.

"You are unbelievable you know that." You counter him with a whisper, "I miss her everyday. between you and that- that fifth year making problems for the rest of us and Ominis trying to stop you from getting arrested  I have been left with no one. Have you even asked your sister about what she wants? Have you even seen her? I mean of course you have. With your new best friend! In Feldcroft before Holiday Break. Four months ago."  You stop, catching your breath.

"She is MY sister! No one misses Anne more then I do (Y/n)! I just want what's best for her." He argues.

You roll your eyes, "You want what's best for you Sebastian. Stop going around pretending you care about anyone but yourself. You-"

"Will you two shut it!" Ominis causes both you and Sebastian to turn and face him. "If you don't you will surly wake the whole house. Not to mention it is way past curfew and neither should be down here."

Sebastian grabs his book off the window seat and shoves past you to the boys dorm, knocking into your shoulder as he storms off.

You turn to face Ominis, his face blank, still in his school uniform. "How much of that did you hear?" You use a softer tone with the blonde then you did with his friend.

"I was there the whole time. Waiting for you actually. I'm blind not deaf." He gives a soft smile.

"Sorry." You whisper, embarrassed about your outburst.

"Don't be. I whole-heartedly agree with you." 

You smile at him.

 "However I think there is a time and place to do it."

Your face drops again and with your help, you guild Ominis to sit with you in the bay window.

"When was the last time you two spoke?" Ominis asked, cocking his head to the side.

The last time you have even seen Sebastian was the night at the Scriptorium. You tagged along, much to the dismay of the rest of the party. Sebastian and his companion were more annoyed then anything else, but Ominis was enraged the agreed to let you tag along. When they tried to talk him into using an Unforgivable, on you no less, he was fuming, ranting about you safely and how those two dodo-brains put you in danger. Since then both Sebastian and Ominis have been keeping you at arms length. Ominis less so, he will still have dinner with you and sit with you in classes you still have together but any of his free time is devoted on keeping his only other friend out of Azkaban.

No one really worried about you. Maybe they should have. It wasn't fair on you and Ominis for your only group of friends to split in several different directions and expect a blind guy to fumble the ground for the pieces.

"(Y/n)?" He reaches for your hand. As if you left him. As if you evaporated into smoke.

"That night we went into the Scriptorium." You let him slip his hand into yours, and, though its a platonic gesture, you blush. Hard.

'(Y/n) that was months ago."

"I know." You sigh, "Haven't seen much of our troublemaker since then. Seems he's been avoiding me. Or perhaps I am avoiding him."

"Well then. He definitely deserved that tantrum you threw." Ominis snickers.

You smack his shoulder, "It was not a tantrum!" You huff, but his smile makes you give one in return.

"I would call it a tantrum." He rubs circles into your hand, staring into the blankness that is the other side of the common room. Not that he know.

 "Why were you waiting down here for me? We only ever talk in class now. These meeting only happen when Seb did something wrong." You change the subject, trying to not argue with the only person who still makes an effort to talk to you nowadays.

Ominis shakes his head, "I think they're planning something."

He pauses and you wait for him to continue, knowing it'll be something bad. Your chest tightens with rising anxiety.

"I might need your help to stop him- them," He corrects, "When they went to the catacombs, he was looking for this relic. I think they found it. Sebastian is going back in a few days to test it. he thinks it can cure Anne." 

"I think we should stop helping those two. Let them dig their own graves Ominis." You cut him off before he can explain further.

"Listen I have to go. Not for Sebastian but for Anne. I don't think he is being honest with her." "Why does that not surprise me." You once again interject.

"(Y/n) I- would you please stop interrupting me!" Ominis says, annoyed with the input you give.

"Sorry.." You blush.

"They told Anne I lead them to the Scriptorium alongside you. Sebastian is very careful with his words. Anne thought we knew about what the relic does. I told her what I knew and she did the same. Those two have been lying to all of us! Even each other. It has gotten to where Solomon wants to leave. Move further from the school. We have to stop this before it's to late." "Ominis." You whisper, "I think it's already too late."

When his face drops you know that wasn't what he wanted you to say. For a moment you understand the new fifth year and their willingness to partake in anything Sebastian throws at them. They- much like you- act out of love. You love Ominis and only want him to be happy. This new student must have a crush on your friend. They do what they do because they care about Sebastian. Its toxic but just like them you cave.

"But if you think this is for the best I will help you. I can't promise Anne will to please that either of you dragged me into this. However if you need me there, I'll go."

Ominis smiles.

[icarussol74]

Spoilers for Omniscient Reader’s Viewpoint’s epilogues below.

Ok so I finally (after getting distracted way too many times) finished my first read through of ORV a few days ago and as expected I can’t stop thinking about it. Of course the loops and KDJ’s fate are constantly on my mind, but there’s one thing that won’t stop bugging me. We don’t know the fate of Kim Namwoon in the 1865th turn. I know he’s not the biggest character (and three versions of him technically got happy endings) however, we even know the fates of Gong Pildu and Han Myeongoh. So while I absolutely love the epilogues it bugged me that there wasn’t even a single sentence about KNW. And since KNW was a major foil/parallel for KDJ I think it would’ve been really cool if 1865 KNW was helping try to save KDJ. Like for a media analysis standpoint it’d be the darkest reflection of KDJ trying to save what got left behind/the part of himself he hated/what made KDJ just like KNW.

Considering that the goal of the 1865th turn, aside from trying to save KDJ, was to save as many people as possible I really wanted to know what happened to KNW. I feel like it would’ve been extremely unlikely for them to decide he has to die while planning the group regression because both HSY and YSA knew KDJ regretted killing him. On top of this, YJH always tried to save KNW even when KNW betrayed him in various world-lines. I attribute this to KDJ telling 0 turn YJH that no one is born evil and encouraging him to lead KNW down a good path. Plus, even without all of those factors, if YSA started in the subway car again she’s the kind of person who would try to save as many people with the frog spawn plan. By the way, the hiding frog spawn all over Seoul to break the first scenario was hilarious.

So with all that being said, I feel like it’s extremely unlikely for KNW to die (at least in the first scenario). And I cannot be convinced that that silly little emo edgelord was not one of the teens that got really into the apocalypse craze and started catching a ton of frogs. By that logic YSA would’ve been able to save the Granny without killing KNW. Honestly he’d probably hero worship YSA just like he did for YJH. Another thing is that HSY literally refuses to have ABFD as her sponsor which I know is because her plan was to become a constellation, but that gives ABFD plenty of room to sponsor and get attached to 1865 KNW.

So basically, I feel like 1865 KNW would’ve survived all the way through the final scenario and would have gotten hella attached to Kim Dokja’s Company. Like sure he would’ve been a little asshole at the beginning of the scenarios but there’s no way YJH, HSY, and YSA wouldn’t have been able to guide him while completing scenarios at a breakneck speed. Then that brings me to if he survived, why would KNW stayed in the 1865th worldline? He would’ve gotten hella attached to all the characters from the 1864th turn and if he learned about regressors and how KDJ killed the 1864th him he would’ve probably wanted to meet the man who killed a version of him. Plus, through the various versions of KNW we’re shown throughout the novel, it’s heavily implied that he was depressed, suicidal, and had a terrible family life before the scenarios. So I’m not sure if there’s much of an argument for the idea that he just wouldn’t have boarded the ark and stayed behind in the 1865th turn.

I don’t know, maybe I’m misreading some of his characterization and reading too much into him not being mentioned in the epilogues. Unfortunately, that little fucking edgelord will not leave my head (probably because I can relate to him having dealt with mental illness). Idk, I just feel like a foil as important as him could’ve been mentioned in the epilogue whether it’s a short line mentioning they decided to kill him so he can drive the Gundam again or that he was ABFD’s incarnation again in the 1865th turn.

I mean maybe my sister’s headcanon is right and he really annoyed HSY so she decided to not acknowledge him in the epilogue (since like we’re technically arguably reading HSY’s writing). I think it’d be really funny if he’s just following Kim Dokja Company members around like a lost puppy and crushing on LJH like all other worldlines. I also think his relationship to LGY and SYS could be really funny because he’d treat them like little siblings and they’d hate it because they’re more powerful than him and claim to be around his age because of regression time shenanigans. What are other people’s headcanons for 1865’s KNW? Am I wrong that he’d survive or would he follow Kim Dokja Company because of how badass they all are (especially YJH and JHW)?

[negrowhat]

FWB vs. Fuck Buddies vs. Unlabeled Boyfriends

Let's get into the FWB trope in BLs and how the "Benefit" part is always just falling in love. And it's never even both of them falling in love, it's always one that's basically already in love from the beginning and just afraid to admit it because they don't want to be rejected.

Let's get into the fact that most of these cases are actually just the main characters being Fuck Buddies and not FWB until proven otherwise and by otherwise I mean boyfriends without a the label. I lean more towards Fuck Buddies because Friends With Benefits means they have to start off being friends first and most of these situations start between people who are not friends prior.

I say Boyfriends without the label because these "Fuck Buddies" are usually monogamous with each other and spend all their time together and comfort each other and express feelings of fondness for each other and protect each other and....that is very much the opposite of a Fuck Buddy.

Anyways here have some examples:

Win and Team from Between Us. I mean they never established themselves as anything but still carried on a sexual relationship throughout the series as things got complicated between them. Highkey they are the most true to the intended purpose of Fuck Buddies. They actually were part of all 3 categories, but like in succession. They started off as Fuck Buddies but became friends so then Friends with Benefits and then found themselves in that limbo of wanting to be boyfriends but too scared to admit it.

Kaeng and Puth from Y-Destiny. I mean technically they started off as Fuck Buddies who were actually both playboys. They didn't really have a real friendship outside of the sex; they ran in different circles until those circles collided when their friends paired off. Kaeng has always wanted something more but Puth always denied it. We saw Puth in contact with some of his conquests and even tried to get a boyfriend. But on the backend he was secretly catfishing Kaeng through texts to flirt with Kaeng and profess his feelings of love.

King and Uea from Bed Friends. Our most recent example of how this trope is just in name only. Although they are trying the hardest to make it true to the term until you factor in King's behavior towards Uea outside of the bedroom and the fact that Uea wants them to be monogamous sex friends. King clearly just suggested a sexual friendship because he wants to get closer to Uea and at this point for Uea it's more about adding some comfort and control into his otherwise depressing reality.

Tharn and Type from TharnType the Series. All the toxicity, messiness and homophobia highkey made me forget they started a sexual relationship first and then became FWB and then Type had his whole crisis before they became boyfriends. Despite all flip-flopping around they do in fact fall in this trope.

Some honorable mentions to:

Fah and Sher from Fahlanruk which I started but didn't finish because Fah was really not a likeable character. But they both carried on hella sexual conquests aside from each other which was what they both loved to do but then Fah kind of forced Sher into a FWB thing because he wanted Sher to himself.

Friendzone s1 and s2. That series was a mixed bag of FWB, cheating boyfriends, fake friends, and all the other messy odds and ends young adults find themselves mixed up in.

Only Friends. It looks like it's going have multiple FWB storylines that all intertwine. It's going to be messy and I'm very excited for it.

ANYWAYS this post actually had no real point other than to say...I think I want a series where FWB or Fuck Buddies actually just stay that way until they both move on separately and we see the process of how they make a clean break from each other intimately and move on. Is there a something like that out already? Let me know.

[nicnavarrocage]

In addition to my MSPA ideas

Prison Part 2, also known as Jailbreak: Extended Play, is basically a different version of the Jailbreak adventure, including dialogue, animation, narrative shiftings from 1st person to 2nd person between characters, and even interactive pages... IF I CAN CODE THEM. Each stick figure character will be named, and some will look distinct.

This is the "Beyond Canon Mockery" adventure I mentioned on my previous post, also known as "Homestuck: Beyond Fucked Up" or "Beyond Awful." It's a changearound of Beyond Canon's story, with worsened content, but mocked in a self-aware way, has a lot of pop culture stuff, also mocks the controversy and culture around Homestuck, and introduces a character named " The Story Wizard," an obnoxious, plot fiddling, story changing, retconning, King of Town alien who's always here to make the story worse. In this adventure, John actually hates everything around him, probably just me making fun of his descent into depression, wheras in the original comic he's an emo James Rolfe, while here, he's nihilistic.

Freeplay is an adventure with no plot, no story, no gods, no masters, no author, just fun, but a few set of rules. You can do anything you want here. It's the infinite canvas of MS Paint Adventures, with loads of creativity for one simple panel.

There are a trinity of commands, however. NULLIFY will reset everything, REGRESS will revert a command that someone has submitted, and DISORDER will scramble the story you create into random, inconvenient places.

Nepal Silo was an adventure I was thinking about earlier this year. It's about a group of young researchers who live on a cold, snowy landscape, sometimes peppered with aliens and oddities. It's gonna have the same style as Homestuck, but it's not gonna have that "There's a teenager in his room and he shall be named, plus a world ending supergame" bullshit.

I was also planning to give this adventure a Kelly Bailey inspired soundtrack, obviously because of the planned influence from Half Life.

And here is one I dare to create. Adventure Boy! Planned to be an adventure about some kid (oddly looking similar to Zoosmell Pooplord) in a fantasy world that doesn't know him at all. The main, titular character is extremely joyful, almost stereotype joyful, and yet the world he's in ranges from dark to careless. Yeah, it's obviously one big trope made into an MS Paint Adventure, but I don't care.

Another one I'm thinking about is this oddball. It's a story about your favorite spider bitch doing really stupid stuff towards every other troll in the style of a Homestar Runner storybook (See: Sbemail 100 or Homestar Enters the Strongest Man in the World Contest). Later in the book, the protagonist redeems herself off of being too mean.

But least could we forget, another project in the making. It's been done before, but we'll do it again. Comedy gold, adequate. Irony, stunning.

SWEET BOR AND HELLA JYEFF VIDYA GAEM DUDES INNERACTIVE COMIC made by ya boy Dave s. with iorny

Yes, I'm doing a Sweet Bro & Hella Jeff adventure. This one is more gaming based than slice of life or adventure. Think of it as early SBaHJ.

There's also gonna be a few new "bros" introduced into this comic. One's with a green shirt whom I call "THAT DUDE," and a pink shirt named "STAN-SO-CASH." Does Geromy count as a bro? WHO KNOWS!

At last, we have this.

An MS Paint Adventures adaptation of Homestar Runner's "Thy Dungeonman." This is basically gonna be a warm-up to everything else I'll do on MSPFA, sort of a practice to see if I can actually work on what I can correctly. I ended up doing Jailbreak: Extended Play first. The command system of Thy Dungeonman would be really hard to replicate in the MS Paint Adventures format, so suggestions will be sent one by one. Or I could just do the Bard Quest treatment.

So uh, BYE!

[cpunkwitch]

Back when we were in the er for 2 days (March?) the day shift nurse we first saw offered me a wheelchair, that man was a sweetheart, the nightshift nurse after him was too, she gave my mom and me both two toasty warm blankets while checking my vitals periodically

The wheelchair was not meant for my tiny ass

I felt like a pebble sitting on a hammock with wheels

It took way too much effort for me to wheel myself up and down the short hallway

And I was initially there because my body had shut down in what still is the worst episode we have ever had, by the time I left the hospital I was only moderately less immobile than when they gave me the wheelchair

Had my arms worked with me properly it probably still would have taken me considerable effort to use the wheelchair

Knowing the majority of my body's issues are with and caused by my lower half from the base of my spine down, a wheelchair of some kind would be out best option very soon

Especially with how more frequent it is that our knees/legs are refusing to support us.

Wheelchairs from the hospital kinda suck, hardly comfortable and did not like having to force my legs up so my mom could push me without dragging my feet on the floor (didn't really like that i had to have her push me around in order to use it either but that's what those ones are made for. You'd at least think they'd have a foot rest, the seat was hella low and I'm light as fuck)

We have thought about looking into walkers and got some suggestions but with how or physical condition is declining this way, it probably won't be worth it

Due to our situation however, we can't get a wheelchair. It's not safe, we'll be told not to use it and it might even get taken away or assistance to use it will be refused so we'll be forced to abandon it not to mention how poorly accessible our city is.

Not sure where I was going with this kinda just venting

In a lot of pain, tired but not enough to sleep, and kinda crashing/spiraling.

Worst part is the only thing that came out of that long ass visit was a "we don't know why this happened, we'll blame your bpd and give you meds we give people with depression."

The meds help manage our mood swings at best

But that's it

We still have episodes of intense pain, episodes of our body shutting down, both of which leave us immobile for a range of time

We still occasionally have episodes that feel seizure-like, though a bit less than we used to

Honestly? I'm scared

A big part of why we can't see ourselves living past our mid 20's is because of this, we already have Cotard's Syndrome but this is just

Getting so bad

And the parents won't acknowledge it for the danger it is, not that we could actually talk about it with them in a proper conversation where they listen.

We need to get out of here

But we have way too many doubts to believe anything will really get better for us, it's really hard to realistically see ourselves no longer living here

I think the walking cane is as far as we'll ever get to being able to use assistance even remotely freely besides compression gloves and medication

I'm at a loss

[fainthedcherry]

TIIIIME for another new post!! YAY!!! This is a new character of mine, Noodlebeard The Dreaded! I got into Deep Rock Galactic, due to a person IRL, who was obsessed with the game, just like I became so!

This is a coloured in doodle (don't rlly wanna call it shaded, as it was a lazy 2 hr job unlike my actual shading taking me days), it shall be a commission example for this year's revamp of the sheet I'm working on, between some other projects! I've gotten a new paint-skin in the game, so Noodlebeard's gear is purple now but..I STILL am also attached to his Santa-look. 🤣 But yeah, I might follow up my DRG posts with another commission example, but that one's ACTUALLY shaded in like 4 hrs instead LOL, WE GETTING FASTER BOIS.

--

I was surprised, at the super warm welcome in the official game's server, as the player who got me into the game, was super competitive, toxic, and didn't let me have fun. (We made up lately but agreed to not play the game together anymore as our play styles are vastly different)

The game has so much charm, man. I got it at a discount and thanks to my friend Hart, for commissioning me to get it (ALSO post inbound, that one's also from like..June/July of this year), but this game should've deserved my full money ngl. I plan to buy all the cosmetic DLCs, once I'm financially stable in a good bit. The devs deserve my money. For creating this amazing comfort-game of mine, and the positive and supporting community it created.

The moment I posted my sketch of him in the server, by request of the strangers I was playing with (the drawing was also my Discord pfp at the time btw), I got HELLA recognition some damn how. The thing is- I'm used to my art getting overlapped and drowned. Every time I was in a discord server with an art section, I was usually ignored and basically spat at, if not for one person who'd usually actually pay attention to me and my art, and made my whole day with being so kind to do so. ANYWAY. TANGENTS. GOD. So I've drawn my dwarf (version with my beloved little femboy dwarf peaking out on the right) and added, that I was working on renewing commissions, and- I had an AVALANCHE of interest. Which was WHACK?? Because like I said- I wasn't used to recognition. I'd usually be ignored in communities. So this was really surprising. I cannot thank the community enough, for making June/July a month, where I actually was a happy person for a bit. Like genuinely happy, out of the depression-hole I was dealing with at the time happy, happy I was alive happy. That indescribable happy.

I can't WAIT to draw his family, his teammates and develop the lore in my own universe, to connect to the lore of the game!! He might just be my favourite fandom character now, beside Pierrce,, (might post about Monster High too, don't you worry, the few people who actually wanna see my art LOL)

SO YEAH. HAVE A GOOD EVENING TO THOSE IN MY TIMEZONE AND ENJOY ARTE. I scheduled another post for tomorrow, so you're getting the luxury of 2 posts in a week! Or was it 3? BUT ANYWAY YOU'RE GETTING MY ART!!! I'm starting to get comfy on Tumblr so,, I can't wait to share my art in time in the future, instead of holding off for months due to my mental health! <3, Promise I'll also post eventually on InkBlot again, as mentioned, having several social medias is really hard for someone like me!!

Btw get ready to see him more often, as I loved drawing him LMFAO.

ROCK AND STONE MINERS!