#now I gotta start my modding process all over again

[breezypunk]

Bree. -

Yet another OC who fell into my lap when I needed her the most.

I had the pleasure of deleting my entire hard drive which not only had all of my presets, but all my modding stuff as well. While I got some of it back, not all of it, so I decided to make a new OC, and I absolutely adore her.

Yes I gave her my name, just spelled differently! She's an aro/ace pansexual like yours truly. Figured I'd give her a little bit of a self insert title. Although Vaughn carries 99% of my traits (yikes), so will Bree. (bigger yikes) ;p

Happy friday & happy pride month to all my lovelies, you are loved and adored and absolutely amazing just as you are. ♥

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

OKAY. OKAY. WINTERS FAMILY TORMENT NEXUS. as i've said before this is all REALLY vague rough outlines bc i wanted to bounce it all back n forth with u. but. what i have:

>winters family (mark & ashe & fridged mom/wife) live in a location hit by the simurgh

>mark is at work when she arrives. something horrific happens at home. maybe his wife is injured or hurt, but not killed. ashe (7/8/9) triggers. whatever his powers are, they. do Not help heal his mom. in fact the opposite.

>mark tears back home asap instead of leaving as soon as he hears her song, actively choosing to stay in her effect zone for his family. finds newly triggered baby ashe & the rest of that scene.

>theyve spent too long in the affected zone to be allowed to go free, especially since ashe triggered from it. mark nukes his whole past life & ashe's to escape without undergoing all the protocols. he spends ages doing shit work to support him & ashe bc theyre both legally dead, ends up working for overlord, manages to get enough of a fake past to get through cauldron background checks & get powers? it'll pay so much better than the grunt work he's doing now & he has to support ashe (powered)(legally dead)(would probably be executed if anyone Found Out)....

anyway to me the trickster is like. the endgame of this specific simurgh rube goldberg. somehow it doesn't end horrifically, for once! but it gets. bad. the fact that they're simurgh survivors is always looming over their heads. its why mark fucking freaks out when ashe joins the wards. literally have nothing more specific than this though u gotta help me put meat on these bones!!!!! STOP "being responsible" and "doing work" and stuff START thinking incessantly abt nhw ashe!!!!! i don't even know his powers bc i have no clue how he triggered!!!! augh. god. them..... mods torture that blonde man in the most narratively satisfying and fucked up way possible!!!!

QUIT YOUR JOB JOIN MY EMO WARDS !!!!!!!!!!!!! god dude god dude I'm gonna be thinking about this all fucking DAY . who needs to be responsible and have a job. not me!!!! FUCK !!!!!!!! dude im just. thinking abt mark being at work getting the notice to evacuate and starting to hear the song and. bc it's important to me that he's a little bit of a coward. it takes him longer than he will ever admit to decide to go back to his family. he definitely hesitates and hates himself for it because. what if he had gotten there 10 minutes earlier! who fucking knows! he never will!!

god man I'm just thinking about. that scene where they're in the hospital waiting to hear back about noelle and the person (ai?) at the desk is giving them the rundown of all the containment procedures and handing them paperwork and asking them if they can pay for the medical care. how fucked up would that be to hear after you're in the midst of losing everything. mark winters the universes most hated man. I looooooove the satisfaction in thinking about that snap decision where he goes from "relatively normal if a little emotionally repressed but otherwise does his best suburban dad" to "my wife is dead and my son is fucked up and there's this fucking sound in my head that won't go away I'm about to erase everything and break several laws in order to get us out of here" and how that eventually leads into. supervillain. it's just soooooooo. sickos haha yessss the downfall of this fucking miserable blonde guy. when do you think he consciously made that choice. he heard "you're never going to get out of here and live a normal life again" do you think he just . sat with that for a while. ashe unresponsive either due to shock or fear or the trauma of triggering/whatever his powers are and mark just has to sit there. by himself. like what the fuck am I gonna do now. auaghghghghhhh I need 2 make him so miserable forever. fuck that guy i hate his ass (<< me when I lie)

I THINK . I NEED TO SIT FOR A WHILE AND FINISH THESE NEXT COUPLE CHAPTERS AND PROCESS A LITTLE MORE BEFORE I MAKE A SOLID DECISION ON ASHES POWERS. but you knowwwww it's gonna be some fucked up horror shit. it has to be. it has to be something fucked up enough that mark forbids him from using his powers and keeps him . at home isolated for his own good. but not TOO fucked that he wouldn't be able to join the wards.

actually speaking of. HOW THE FUCK DOES HE JOIN THE WARDS. I know mark basically fucking erased their whole identity and everything but. there's noooo way the prt would let this kid join them. right?????? right????. how the hell would that even be a possibility with all the precautions in place for simurgh survivors. THEY EXPLODED THAT ONE CAPE GUYS HEAD BECAUSE HE STAYED IN PROXIMITY FOR A LITTLE BIT TOO LONG. maybe it's unofficial. maybe he never Officially joins them but he sneaks out while mark is gone and meets the boys somewhere and they become friends out of costume first. and then they learn about his powers and ashe is like "I can help!" and helps them like. as a rogue or something. but hes never registered as an official cape. is this anything. im thinking about him so much what the fuuuuuck have we done. what have we done !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[asssdddffftttyyyooouhh]

Imagine we have a friends with benefits kind of relationship and you’re obsessed with my cock, and my energy.

One night, I’m playing CoD BO2, with some of my friends, and you let yourself into my place, with the key I gave ya,

And because I established my free use rule,

You decided to take out your stress on my dick.

I see you come in and I mute my Mic.

“Hey sweetie, how’re you?”

Seeing you’re a bit stressed-

‘ I’m okay, just wanted to see you ‘

“ Well, come in doll, you know I love your presence.”

I unmute and resume playing, and you look over to see the weaponized 115 camo on my DSR, with my offhost mod menu, and the glow of my RGH, illuminating the room, along with my PC,

You walk over and set your stuff down, and take your shoes off, then lay on my bed.

The game ends, and I get up then take my headset off, and head to the kitchen to grab us both some water.

You stare up into the ceiling, the stress of the day just sort of keeping your mind rolling,

I come back

“I got you some water too. So, how was your day?”

‘ it was good, just stressful ‘

“Yeah? Wanna talk about it?”

‘ No, not really, but…… ‘

“Yes sweetie?”

‘ Daddy,

< your eyes become dilated and you look up at me, your cheeks beginning to turn red >

Could I use your cock, please, sir? ‘

“ Hmmmm, I mean I’m playing CoD with my friends right now 😅 - but I tell you what, let me play one more game, and then I can fuck you raw, how does that sound? “

‘ Okay! That sounds great! ‘

“Alright baby girl, thank you for asking daddy nicely, I’ll make good on my word”

~ I go back to my desk, and put my headset back on, and greet my friends again ~ and the game loads.

======

Some time passes, and little do I know, because I can’t see behind me, your kitty starts to become drenched and you’re softly playing with it to the thought of me fucking you, and pinning you down by your throat, thrusting into you, leaving hickies on your breasts,

And the game’s 3/4 of the way done, and at this point, you’re too feral to keep waiting, so you get up, and take your shirt off, throwing it on my pillow,

And then you make your way over to me, and climb under the desk-

I was too focused on the game, as when you’re playing Free For All and using snipers, you have to have decent focus.

Anyway, I feel you pulling my shorts down, and I just look down to see you so hungry for my cock, that you literally just couldn’t wait,

And I mute my mic,

“ Damn, okay you needy cunt, you really need my cock, huh? “

‘ Y- …. Yes sir! ‘ ~ you say embarrassed and shy but with passion

“ Alright dumb whore, you’ve been a good girl for me, I’ll let you suck me off until I’m done, thank you for being my personal cum dump, princess.

Just make sure you suck and swallow every last drop if I cum. You already know how to please daddy, you’re a very proficient young woman.”

‘ Okay daddy, will do- ‘

“Good girl.”

And I unmute and you just start deepthroating my cock,

And keep going and going, and I try not to moan, but every time I anticipate it, I mute myself,

Eventually, you just sort of cockwarm me using your mouth, and as the game ends, I put my hand on your head and pull it down on my cock with more force, and then after the lobby shows, I tell my friends goodbye for now,

“Well I’m gonna hop off, I gotta take care of something”

{“ Alright man! Thanks for playing! “} you hear them say from my headphones, as you look up to me for air, squeezing my thighs,

I let you go and say

“Alright slut, you’re a good girl, I’ll take care of you, go to my bed, I’ll be right with you”

You do as you’re told, and get on the bed, and arch your back for me, and kinda wiggle your ass.

“ Now, I’m going to use you up, you know the drill, so you can stay the night tonight if you’d like, it’s quite late and you’re mine, and only mine, I don’t want anyone else to disrupt the process of your cunt molding itself to fit my cock. “

‘ Yes master, of course. I wanna stay with you- ‘

“Good girl, and in the morning, we can go get smoothies and hang out, I’d love to maybe go see a movie or somethin’ with you”

‘That sounds good’

“Right, well, I can see you already made a mess of my bed, but I love the smell of you and your kitty. I guess, thank you sweetie, but now it’s time I take care of you”

I say as I mount you and gently insert my tip

“ You dumb cunt, you love my cock so much, I should make a mold of it for a dildo, so you always have it “

I then thrust into you super hard, and you whimper and yelp, full of pleasure and you moan,

Just everything leaving your mind, draining your stress with every inch and thrust of my cock into your tight and soaked pussy.

I moan, and just keep going.

Eventually I pick up my pace and push your head further into my bed, and get more on top of you,

Nothing you can do but take it, and I feel your pussy squeeze my cock the entire time, and it only makes me harder ~ plus hearing your pretty voice struggling to compliment me and breathe~ just full of pleasure and love,

Eventually, I start to feel like I’m gonna ejaculate, so I quickly pull out, as you let out a big “AHHHHH” ~ not expecting it, I slap your ass, and you automatically turn around and fall to your knees, off the bed, and open your mouth, stick your tongue out ~ as I’ve programmed you to do for me,

And I quickly thrust into your throat, and shoot my loads, as I moan and call you “good girl” - feed you compliments like “look how pretty you are” - “such a good job” - “good little whore” - “thank you sweetheart” - and you swallow it all, every last drop.

I then rub your head and say

“You’re so good to me, I could never tell you how much I love you. Clean yourself up, you’ve been a good girl. Did daddy deliver on his promise?”

I say with a smirk,

‘Yes sir, more than delivered 🤤’

“Good. We can cuddle here in a few minutes, I’ll be back”

~ I go and use the bathroom, and you just fall to the floor and rest, closing your eyes and try to control your breathing.

I come back with some more water for us, and I see you’re exhausted, so I pick you up and lay you on my bed, and put your water on my side table, then I climb over you and lay down.

“I hope you enjoyed that as much as I did, if not more. You’re so sweet, I love how we can just do that, and there not be any red tape. I call you my whore, but you’re a hell of a woman. The fact you only submit to me is hot, and I enjoy it. As far as your kitty, I love using it up, it feels like it’s getting close to being the perfect mold of my dick. It’s quite nice <3 ☺️😋”

‘ of course, and you’re a good man, I’m glad you like my pussy daddy, I love your cock. ‘

“Well, I love your pussy more than you think, but anyway, I hope that helped love, cause-“

‘Oh it did daddy, don’t even doubt or worry about that.’

You say with a smirk and then smile

“Well, alright then doll. Well, it’s late, we should get some sleep, and then if you wanted, I’d love to get smoothies with you-“

‘And watch a movie, that sounds good, I’m free tomorrow’

“Lovely.”

And then we cuddle, and sleep. Then the next day, go and hang out.

====

This is a tribute to the ‘anon’ who asked me to write a story last time, they’re quite lovely and of course, sexy too ♥️❤️

Hope you enjoyed this doll <3

[membermentmania]

August 8th, 12:09-2:47 am

She gave him a look before she took a deep breath. All of the red on her turned black and her skin lost its flush, turning into a light shade of gray. 

He let out a quiet hum. More white flurries bubbled out of him. “So that’s what you look like,” he muttered.

“Wha-” 

“Okay,” he clapped his hands together with a smile. “New assignment.” 

“I don’t-” 

“You’re now my assistant.” 

“What?”

“I mean, let’s be real here, Red. If I terminate your contract, you’re gonna die. So I’m giving you a new job.” 

“Why can’t I just fight angels like everyone else?” she responded with a scoff. 

“I’m not ready to never see you again.” 

Her mouth fell open slightly. She blinked hard, so absolutely taken aback by his response. “What?” she snapped. 

“How do you feel?” 

“Answer me.” 

“I asked you a question.”

“What did you mean by that?” Kevin gave her a look. “I feel…” She blinked hard. It was jarring. All of the grief she felt looking at the boy in front of her, the guilt, the sadness, the frustration. It felt like everything was slowly melting into nothing. A full sized painting was slowly dwindling into a small tap of a pencil on a piece of construction paper. “Why do I feel so empty?” 

“I mean, for all intents and purposes, you just turned into a mod,” he responded lamely. 

“What?” The little bits of gray and black bubbling out of her felt heavy against her skin. She blinked hard, willing herself back. 

“Why’d you transform back?” 

Everything immediately started to flood back in and it was so much. Too much. “Is that what you feel like all the time?” she asked shakily. The corruption was still bubbling out of her. She could feel it. She could see little black and gray cubes detaching from her, carrying into the air around them. He had them too. They both had them. Why? 

He laughed. “Yeah, kinda.” 

“Kev,” she breathed out. 

“Yes, Red?” 

“What are moderators?” 

“Now there is the question of the day.” 

“Answer me.” 

“You sure you wanna know?” 

“Yes.” 

“What do you think happens when you corrupt, Red?” 

“We die.” 

He laughed quietly. “I guess, technically.” 

Everything snapped together in her mind. “We become what you are,” she murmured.

“Ding ding ding!” 

“Why wouldn’t you tell me that? Why would you-” 

“C’mon. You’re smart.” 

“You want me to corrupt.” 

“I wasn’t lying when I said I wanted you to survive the apocalypse.” 

She ran her hands through her hair as she crouched down, trying to process. “So you did all this in a fucked up attempt to save me,” she muttered. He stayed silent. “Because you are my Kevin.” 

“There ya go.” 

She shot a glare at him. “Are you fucking serious?” 

“I mean, you’d be a pretty good mod. You don’t have to be like me. You could be more like my old mod. He was good… Is good.” 

“You went through all of this,” she responded as she stood back up, hating the way her voice shook, “You fought angels. You had to go through finding purifiers. You did all of this. Why the fuck would you pull me into this?!” 

“Michael was watching you.” 

“WHO THE FUCK IS MICHAEL?!” 

“The worse of two evils,” he responded flatly. 

“What do you want from me?” she asked through tears. “Really.” Her voice broke. “I thought we were friends.” 

He paused. Red finally noticed the bits of white bubbling out of him. “We were,” he muttered. A wave of understanding washed over his face. “Huh.” 

“What?!” 

“I was told something a while ago. I didn’t get it until just now.” A laugh bubbled out of him. “Wow.” His smile grew as he looked back up at her. “Looks like you’re free to go.” 

“What?” 

“Go fight angels or whatever. Have a team, I guess. Enjoy the next bit until the world ends.” 

“I don’t-” 

“We were friends, Red. Sometimes you just gotta let shit go. I didn’t get that. I was too-” His nose twitched slightly. “You’re not mine anymore. We’re gonna kill each other if I try to keep you.” Tears made their way down her cheeks. “Maybe in another life I won’t be so stupid,” he muttered. He pinched the bridge of his nose and took a deep breath before sliding his hand down his face. “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry.” 

She finally got it. Everything made sense. “It’s okay,” she whispered. 

He gave her one last smile before putting his arms out. “Later, yin.” 

“Later, yang,” she murmured. 

He let himself fall. Icy numbness crept in as her tears started to subside and she walked towards the ledge. She looked down to confirm what she knew was already there. A small flip phone, gently playing Requiem for Methuselah. 

“Red, what the fuck are you doing?” Craig snapped. 

Everyone’s attention immediately turned towards Red. She didn’t look up from her phone. “Texting,” she muttered. Heidi’s concern only grew. She looked like she’d given up completely. Craig was rotating back and forth between a frantic mess and a grieving mess which was only serving to exacerbate the effects of Tweek’s disappearance on the group. And Tweek was still missing. Not to mention Red now had her phone on and out in the one place they were trying to keep as much technology out as possible. 

“Red, what about your mod?!” Bebe yelled. 

“He’s dead. She didn’t look up from her phone. 

It was like a bomb went off amongst the group. There was almost a full minute of pure, completely stunned silence before Kenny spoke. “What do you mean, he’s dead?” 

She put her phone down and looked up at Kenny, face completely devoid of emotion. “I don’t really have another way of explaining that my mod is dead.” 

“Yeah, but like. That doesn’t make any sense. They’re in our tech,” Clyde tried. 

“They have physical bodies. They can die.” 

Craig ran both hands through his hair and titled his head back. Stan pinched the bridge of his nose. Kyle dropped his head in his hands. Clyde swallowed hard as tears welled up in his eyes. And the girls just continued to stare at her in shock. Heidi felt nauseous. 

“That doesn’t make sense,” Craig breathed out. “Tweek would know that. He knew Leslie for eleven fucking years.” It was not lost upon Heidi that he said ‘knew’ as opposed to the present tense.

 “Tweek didn’t know everything,” Red responded flatly. 

Craig’s chair scraped against the floor loudly as he slid outwards before walking out of the room. “Fucking- I’m going,” Clyde muttered. 

Kenny put a hand on his shoulder. “Let me try talking to him.” 

“But you’re the boss!” he hissed. 

“Bebe and Wendy are in charge. Behave.” Kenny got up to follow Craig. 

Bebe took a deep breath. “Red, babe, can you please elaborate here?” she tried. 

“Elaborate on what?” 

“How mods have physical fucking bodies, Red!” Tammy yelled. 

Red looked down at her phone and made a face before turning it off. “I finished my contract in person.” 

“Why would your mod do that? None of our mods have ever indicated that they had physical forms. Fuck, Tweek knew Leslie since he was six and he’d never met her in person!” Tammy argued. 

“Can we please stop talking about Tweek in the past tense?” Marjorine asked shakily. The entire group paused. Heidi reached out and squeezed Marj’s hand under the table. 

“I don’t know. My contract was weird. All of our meetings were in person,” she said pensively. 

“Okay… How do you know he’s dead?” Bebe asked, trying not to show her obvious discomfort. 

“I killed him.” 

“Red, what the fuck,” Clyde breathed out. 

“When?” Wendy asked. 

“Last night.” 

“How?” 

“I shot him. I watched him fall. He’s dead.” Her voice was so hollow, it was scary. 

“You’re sure?” 

“Positive,” she deadpanned. 

“What happens to you now then?” Kyle asked.

“What do you mean?” 

“You’re operating without a moderator. What happens?” 

“I keep getting notifications to request a transfer. I’ve been ignoring them.” 

“Is that… smart?” Clyde chimed in with concern. 

“Honestly, I’ll take my chances.” 

[fuckyeahderpcrew]

Important update regarding Galm (April 20th, 2021)

Hello, everyone. This is going to be a long post, so a lot of it will go under a keep reading.

It will include some links and a long, long, long transcript.

TL;DR John has addressed what's happened with Galm; Galm has messaged people and said some things troubling nature.

There may be some content you might not feel comfortable reading, so please be careful.

I'll put the keep reading right here, so please take the time to read this when you're able to. It's all very important. And please remember that with everything going on right now, we can only support the derp crew to the best of our ability by respecting their decisions and wishes.

Oriana_gray's post: Reddit (x) Her Twitter thread (x) cw for sexual harrassment

John's address: ( Twitch highlight here )

Transcript link: (on Reddit)

Read Transcript Below:

( URL - https://www.twitch.tv/videos/994753439 )

TL;DR John has addressed that Galm is not in a healthy mental state, and that things he has done during this time are inexcusable. Nonetheless, he hopes that Galm gets the help they need. At the time being, neither him, nor the derps, nor any of us can do anything to help him. This topic is no longer to be discussed in chat.

"So, we're gonna...before I, uh, get onto the actual stream, there was one thing I didn't really wanna talk about and, uh, it may be the reason why there are in fact like 5...6 mods in here, uh, just because this- it's something that we needed to like- we need to...sit down and talk about. Uh, just because, um, you know...it's- it's kind of necessary, it's kind of important and um...I've been thinking about it for at least a week now. Uh, so, before we get into it, just fair warning- I got all the mods here, all the mods who are hanging out. Uh, if you see something that like needs to get shut down, please do me a favor and shut it down. Uh, yes we’re having a serious sit down talk. [laughs softly] It is me, your father, we’re gonna have a talk. I...am fucking old- that’s not what we’re talking about. But, um… [laughs softly again]. Yeah, my point is, we’re gonna- we- I- this is serious- this is some serious time we need to have...um… Let me fix this really quick before we… [adjusts camera] I’m pushing- I’m delaying the inevitable, I’m sorry. But, yeah...More or less, um...so…

“Like I said- sorry. So, mods, you know what to do. Anyway… Let’s [claps hands] Let’s break it down really quick. I’m gonna try not to make this so in-depth because one, it’s not my place to, uh, divulge any information further on than what is out there. Uh, if- fuck, I’m dropping stuff on my desk, hold on. Um- this isn’t me delaying it, I promise you. Um- but yeah it is not my place to necessarily speak about a lot of the events that have happened, and… it isn’t my- I’m not going to be the one to do that. Uh, whoever wishes to talk about it and whoever wishes to tell their side of the story...I am obviously gonna listen. I’m gonna be open to it, and I’m gonna hear it out, but I need to start this off of course. And I’m not looking at the camera because this is gonna be- this is gonna be hard for me to do so I just gotta keep rolling through it. I’ve been trying to think about how I’m going to speak about this. I think if I just shoot from the hip and get it over with that’s the best way we’re gonna get through this.

“Um, so it is no secret that our friend Galm is very mentally unwell. And…[sighs] it’s- it’s one of those things where a lot of information has come out publicly- um- in the time in which his mental state has gotten worse. Um...the only thing I can say is I- it is no longer in our hands. And I say that because his family has gotten involved, so from this point forward, there is nothing we can really do about that. And that’s something I wanna stress like off the bat. I’ve spent a long time talking with my therapist over this stuff since everything has started. And...I find that I am a person who tends to internalize a lot of- a lot of things, so...uh, for me, I have been making Galm’s mental health my problem and making it my mental health, and um, because of that my anxiety has drastically spike to a point in which, uh, for those who remember a couple months ago I took a two month break off because I was having really bad anxiety attacks. And I’m not trying to make this about me. I promise I’m not trying to, I’m just trying to convey- like I- was like- it’s- things have been on that level again and I don’t want them to be. I can’t do that again. Um, but my point- I wanna get back to what I’m saying- ‘cause again I don’t want this to be taken out of context. I don’t want anything to be taken out of context and made to look like, uh, like a certain way. “Um, so, a lot of- of what has been going on. Uh...I’ve seen a lot of DM’s...I’ve seen a lot of text messages. Um, and to the people who’ve, uh, dealt with that, I know I’m not responsible for it but I am so sorry that you went through this shit that went down because it’s- it’s not okay. It’s absolutely not okay. Um...while Galm’s mental state is deteriorating, and while- I-I know for a fact based on dates, and based on times, a lot of what was sent out was during said, like, manic episodes, like those manic episodes where they were...con- they were consecutively tweeting minute after minute, constantly. Um, I know a lot of it was during that time, however, and I think that we can all agree here. Regardless of...your mental state and your mental health, um, none of that- none of what was sent to other people, none of what was texted to other people is absolutely not okay. It’s not okay for a person to um...send messages like they did- I’m trying to be as vague as possible. It’s not okay for...those conversations to be had in the way that they were had. Um...and, I personally can’t stand by it. That’s not something that I ever want to see happen in the...I don’t want to say “Derp Crew”...I’m not saying that. I’m gonna say, that’s not something I ever wanna see in general. I don’t wanna see anyone go through that ever again. Especially through um...especially due to someone who was so close to me for so long, and I’m not trying to say that- I’m not trying to say that, like… I’m not trying to be like- I’m not trying to be like “fuck Galm” you know what I mean? Like I’m not trying to do that, that’s not something I wanna do. But I just want to make a point to say what happened was not okay and we need to accept that. And we need to understand that that’s not something that never needs to happen again.

“But, on the flip side, we also need to understand that this was taking place- all of this was taking place during a deteriorative mental state, I think that’s the way to put it. Um… but again, on the flip side again, it’s still not okay, you know what I mean? Like it- it’s not. It’s not okay. Um...and, at this point, uh, th- it- I will be honest, like I’ve said, it has gotten much worse from the updates I’ve heard. I’m not going to divulge the information because again, it is not my business and- well it- [sighs] it’s not- it’s not my place to say, that’s what I’m trying to say, it’s not my place to say. Um...and unfortunately things are at a point with- I could- I could assume based on some of the things that Chilled has said, that Aphex has said, uh, that...I- I am also- I can also say that like...how do I...how do I put this…

“I understand that- that Galm...really, 100% needs help. I understand that wholeheartedly. The thing is, I can’t be the one to help anymore. Like, I can’t do it, because...my- how do I put this- uh, Galm’s mental health is not mine. It’s not Chilled’s. It’s not Ze’s. It’s not Tom’s. It’s not Aphex’s. It’s not any of you. It’s not- it’s none of our cross to bear, if that makes sense. None of us should be beholden to the burden of Galm’s mental health. It comes down to- and if I- just as an aside. If it sounds- I don’t know if I said “he” or “they”, I’m just trying to make sure it doesn’t- I’m going based on the Twitter profile of, um, uh… [snaps fingers] “she”, “her”, “they”, and then in parenthesis “‘he’ is sometimes okay”. But I’m trying to like- I- I have been really, like, I’m gonna be honest with you, I have been very, very, very careful. Because...I wanna make sure I’m trying to do this right, so, I’ve been trying to go with Galm and I think that- that’s where I’ve been with that all, because, as- as, I hate to say it, most of the stuff in that realm has come out of the blue. And I’m not gonna discredit that. I don’t want- I don’t want Galm to think I’m like discrediting, uh, their feelings, but like, I just- I wasn’t sure. I wasn’t sure in regards to how close the gap of these- the psychotic episodes and coming out- like, I wanna make sure he- uh- I wanna make sure that uh Galm is happy with who they are, and I’ve been trying to be very good with it. So...don’t mind me, I’m trying- I’m still trying, and it’s- I’m not trying to be an asshole or anything. I don’t wanna be. This is a serious talk and I’m just trying to make it understood.

“Anyway, so, getting back to it. A lot of this is- the things I’m saying is I’m processing a lot of this still. And this is like...this has been going on at least, for- since, February, all of this. And it’s now finally just coming to a hit, you know what I mean? And I hate to say it, but, like, what...like I said, this is...not my cross to bear. It’s none of our cross to bear. Um...I don’t even wanna call it like, the Derp Crew, I’m just saying in general. Like, none of this is for us to hold the burden of, because at the end of the day, um… Galm has unfortunately- and this is the only like, real, like, shit thing I’m gonna say about it is um… in- in the...things that Galm has said and done um...a lot of people were hurt. A lot of trust was- was broken, that I don’t know...if it can ever be...mended? I wanna hope, ‘cause I’m a person who hopes, that things will, uh, always be on the mend, as my Discord knows. I am something of a- a second chances guy. And I know I am to a fault, that I can be like that, but...um sorry I’m not- I’m not crying, my voice is just shot ‘cause I’ve been like screaming at work all day. [ wheeze-laughs ].

“Um, no, but...I personally- exactly- Jess-

[Addressing mod JessTries in chat who wrote “You always look for the best in people <3”]

“I try to look for the best in people and I’ve always tried to look for the best in people, even if, uh, those people have...have shit intentions, I guess is the way I can put it. But- not what I’m trying to say in this. My point is, um, yeah- a lot of- a lot of shit went down. A lot of shit went down and I don’t know how some of it can be recovered, but at this point… [laughs softly] At this point, my situation with Galm is… [sighs] My situation with Galm is that, like, they’ve- they’ve said to me we’re good, but it’s hard to be good when all of these messages are being shown, and people are coming out talking to you about how- okay- not talking to you, sorry, but, just talking about how, um, they were treated a certain way, and I don’t like that. I really don’t like that.

“So, my...my feeling is that, like, [sighs] I can’t really- I can’t really stand by Galm when all of this is going on. I can’t do it. I can...I can’t be of help to someone who- who wasn’t accepting it. And I can’t be...um, I can’t stand by someone who does things like that. Um, and, not to- I’m not trying to throw anyone under the bus, I’m not trying to throw Galm under the bus. That’s not...that’s not fair. Um...I honestly, if I could just, say to them I would, like, I- I feel like...like I don’t know...I don’t know what they can do...aside from getting help. That’s- that’s the main thing. Just...Galm needs help, and...I can’t be the one to provide it. Um...none of the group- none of the people in the group can provide it. None of you can provide it. Um...and, it’s a matter of owning up to what was said and done to a lot of people. And...what went down, obviously, if you know you know, um…

“But, like it’s just not fair to put you’re- you’re mental health...on- on...on your friends like that...so, I’m sorry I’m like coming down all of a sudden, I’m realizing like oh shit… [laughs softly] Um… but yeah, so like… [sighs] i-it’s hard, man. Like, it’s really fucking hard to do this, ‘cause you wanna- you wanna try and be honest, but like you wanna respect everyone’s privacy, and you wanna show like, hey, this is how it is. But, to everyone out there who dealt with this, and to everyone out there who had their- their problems...I’m gonna support you guys. I’m gonna be there for you, um… [rubs chin] I’m also gonna support my friends, but at the same time, I can’t support any of what happened. I’m not gonna stand by it, and, I- the only thing I can say, and I think the only thing that like everyone needs to say is like, you [Galm] need to get help. You need help. 100% you need help and like...I hope you get it. I really do hope you get it. And I hope things are...I hope things are on the mend for you. And I hope you can figure it out. Um… [clicks tongue]

“Okay, I think...I think I’m done. I’ve been just- this whole thing, this whole talk...I’m just- I’m just being honest with you guys. This is my way of processing my thoughts, and this is my way of getting past a topic. This is my way of getting past something of a chapter in my life, because this is...unfortunate. All of this is unfortunate that it had to go this way, and I was gonna say something earlier, it’s just- I felt as if when I try to come up with the right words, it was gonna turn...the wrong way. I really did. And like, I don’t want- I want it to be right. I feel like this is the right way, and um… [laughs softly] Don’t get me wrong...it’s- it’s taking a bit, and every time I try to… every time I’ve tried, something happens, and I don’t want- I don’t want- just right place right time I think is the way that it needs to be.

“Okay, so, we’re done. We’re done. From this point on, mods, you can- you can probably set up an automod or something like this, but mods, from this- and chat- from this point on, this- this topic? This conversation is over. Um...we’re done. We’re done talking about this. "

[the-peak-of-despair]

Fuyuhiko Kuzuryuu x Blackend!Reader

I NO LONGER HAVE ACCESS TO THE ORIGINAL ASK!

anon asked:  Hello! I really like your guys page! I was wondering if I could get some HC’s for a Fuyuhiko x reader? Say they are in a trial and they find out his S/O is the culprit? Angst angst angst? If not that’s fine but it’d make my day if you guys did it thank you

Boy howdy I do sure love me some angst, I loved this request ALOT so I wrote a full oneshot! Have fun crying! -Mod Akane

There wasn’t any denying it. 

You had killed Hiyoko Saionji.

Of course, you’d never planned to kill Hiyoko! Sure, she was kinda mean.. but you never wanted to kill anyone. But after Peko’s trial, she was saying all these mean things about Peko, and Fuyuhiko, and it just kept building up…

and you killed her. 

You were just listening to her ramble to herself about how horrible Fuyuhiko was and that Peko was useless, and you couldn’t stop yourself from just… picking up a nearby pipe and bashing her head in. 

You panicked, obviously, when you realized what you had done. You automatically threw the pipe into the ocean and picked up her body, deciding to set her back down in her cottage under the veil of night, using the key she stashed in her kimono.

It was another two days before anyone realized.. And then the trial had begun. 

-----------

Fuyuhiko couldn’t entirely wrap his head around this case. It was borderline insane, Hiyoko had been dead for three whole days before anyone found her. He didn’t like the girl too much, but still, that was awful. He looked up at (Y/N), who had been twiddling her thumbs silently basically the entire trial.

That struck Fuyuhiko as odd. Usually she did her best to contribute whenever she could during the trial. She didn’t wanna die as much as everyone else. Yet still… silent as ever. 

“Hiyoko had her key on her, right? Could the killer have just taken the key out of her pocket to set her in her cottage?” Kazuichi suggests. Hajime hums in response as (Y/N)’s eyes dart over to Kazuichi. 

“That’s most certainly a possibility..” Hajime mutters. “But why do all that?”

“Maybe it was so we wouldn’t look where they actually committed the crime.” Fuyuhiko suggests casually. There wasn’t really much else to guess…

“Actually..” Kazuichi starts, scratching the back of his neck and looking away from the rest of the group, “I might know where it took place…”

“Please tell us immediately!” Sonia pipes in, leaning against her podium with her hands, as if she was leaning herself towards Kazuichi.  

“Y-Yes, Miss Sonia!” Kazuichi seems startled as he begins blushing. “Well, a day or two ago I was in Electric Avenue, on the third island.. And I saw a bloodstain, just in the middle of the ground. Nothing else was around, so I just assumed someone got hurt or something and moved on.. But it was a lot of blood.” 

“Well, why’d you wait so long to tell us?” Akane asks.

“I-I just forgot!” 

“Regardless, if you found it only a day or two ago, by that time the killer must’ve already cleaned up any other evidence.” Nagito sighs. “What a shame, I-”

“Don’t even start.” Fuyuhiko glares at Nagito. For just one trial, it’d be nice if he shut the fuck up. 

“Ah, okay.” Nagito says, and that’s the end of that.

“But if they cleaned up the crime scene, why would they leave the bloodstain..?” Hajime asks. 

Fuyuhiko honestly didn’t have any better answer than anyone else could come up with. He was suspicious of Kazuichi, since he was generally the only person who went to Electric Ave, but that wouldn’t help much to just accuse him out of nowhere. Lives were on the line, it didn’t offer any help to jump the gun and accuse people out of the blue.

“How about we go over the case from the start and see if we find any more clues?” Chiaki suggests. 

“What good is it if we still don’t know the murder weapon?”  Akane suggests.

“M-Maybe.. The killer threw the pipe away or hid it, or something?” (Y/N) adds. “Y’know, to like, throw off the trial..” 

“A pipe..?” Sonia questions.

Her eyes widened, realizing her mistake. “W-Well, I mean, the Monokuma file says her head was bashed in, a-and if she was killed in Electric Ave. like Kazuichi s-suggested, t-then it’d probably be a p-pipe lying around there!” 

“I-It w-would match t-then w-wound on her h-head..” Mikan mutters quietly.  

“Okay, so, say the killer whacks Hiyoko in the head at Electric Ave, right?” Chiaki starts. “And when they killed her they disposed of the pipe somewhere and dragged Hiyoko home, leaving her in her cottage until we found her three days later. What motive would they have…?” 

“Maybe they didn’t mean to kill her…” (Y/N) mutters. 

“What makes you say that?” Hajime asks.

“W-Well, none of us had any grudges or anything against her, right? Maybe it was a spur of the moment thing, like last time..” She trails off and Fuyuhiko winces at the mention of the incident of the last trial.

“That could be basically anyone on the third island three days ago..” Sonia mutters.

“Wait, wouldn’t that be breaking the rules? I mean if they disposed of it somewhere on the island, it could be a violation of the rules, and..” Akane trails off.

“Nope! The blackened threw the pipe into the ocean, technically not part of the land environment on these islands!” Monokuma interrupts.

“Pipe?” Hajime asks, glancing between (Y/N) and Monokuma. There’s no way…

“Whoops, did I say that out loud?” Monokuma nervously laughs before sinking out of the conversation. Fuyuhiko locked eyes with you..

There’s no way those are the eyes of a murderer. He knew you. He loved you, he knew.. You wouldn’t do something as reckless as killing Hiyoko..

..right? 

“So it seems this trial is about to come to a close..!” Nagito mutters. Oh dear god. He turns towards (Y/N). “Well, it seems you’ve dug your own grave, (Y/N)..” 

“Hey, leave her the fuck alone!” Fuyuhiko stops him as (Y/N)’s eyes widen in fear. “There’s no way she’s the killer!”  

“Then how would she know about the pipe, Fuyuhiko?” Hajime adds. “The evidence is starting to pile against her.” 

“You don't know shit! There’s no way (Y/N) would’ve done it!” Fuyuhiko argues, slamming his hands against his podium. 

“Why don’t we ask the girl in question?” Nagito suggests, and the eyes of the surviving students all fell on (Y/N), petrified with fear.

Her podium was directly across from Fuyuhiko’s. It was almost default for him to be looking dead at her. But the fear in her eyes.. Fuyuhiko almost couldn’t look. He hated seeing her like this. If he had any less self restraint, he’d probably run to her side and hold her close. But knowing his luck, he’d bust his stomach open or something stupid in the process.

“I-I didn’t kill her..” (Y/N) stutters, the emotion and fear of being framed building up and pouring out in the form of tears and sobs that made Fuyuhiko- and most of their classmates- wince. “It wasn’t me! Y-You’ve gotta believe me! Hajime, please..! Tell them they’re wrong!” 

Hajime looks away from her. “I’m sorry, but…” 

“You’re really just gonna stand there and look away?!” Fuyuhiko yells. “For fuck’s sake, she’s crying! All your evidence is circumstantial and probability!”

“Then if she can present an alibi for the day Hiyoko was killed-” Hajime calmly argues. 

“She was with me, damnit!” Fuyuhiko lies. He lies, almost on reflex, to find anything that would get them off her trail. There was no way she was the killer.

“I mean, you could’ve worked as accomplices.. Or if you did it..” Kazuichi starts to trail off, scratching the back of his neck once again. “I-I’m just suggesting!” 

“Why in the fuck would I kill her?! I didn’t even know she was dead until we found her today, just like the rest of you assholes!” Fuyuhiko argues. “I would’ve had no reason to kill her, and I’ve never even been in Electric Ave!” 

“One of you two did it, you’re the only suspects!” Akane argues. Fuyuhiko growls under his breath, pissed off to all belief. This trial was spinning in every way it shouldn’t. He can’t help but focus on (Y/N), eyes darting to every filled podium in the room as the room dissolves into argumentative yelling. Underneath it all you can almost hear Monomi muttering about how things shouldn’t turn out like this, but it’d be hard to hear under everyone arguing. 

“There’s 12 people in this fucking court room, and you’re choosing to single out two people who have barely even been on that island!” Fuyuhiko starts yelling once more.

“You don’t have alibis, (Y/N)’s been acting strange this whole trial, and you’re the only two people with any motives!” Kazuichi shouts, making drastic gestures with his hands the whole time. 

“N-No one else has given alibis.. This is simply unfair..” (Y/N) mutters.

“She has a point. We should wait to hear all alibis first before we point fingers. Where was everyone roughly around the time Hiyoko was killed?” Hajime questions.

“I was with (Y/N)!” Fuyuhiko insists.

“I was in the company of Sonia.” Gundham states, arms crossed. 

“Nekomaru and I were in the hotel. I saw Nagito there as well as Chiaki!” Akane adds. 

“Mikan and I were at the beach!” Ibuki exclaims. 

“I was in my cottage..” Hajime states.

“Well, I was on the second island, but…” Kazuichi starts. “I saw you, Fuyuhiko.” 

“What?” Fuyuhiko freezes. He can’t let this go now, if it gets (Y/N) in deep shit.. “No the fuck you didn’t!”

“You were in the diner! And (Y/N) wasn’t with you!” Kazuichi begins to argue dramatically, waving his hands around once more. 

“You don’t have anyone to back you up! You could be lying to pin it on me, cause you’re the only one who fucking goes to Electric Ave!” Fuyuhiko yells.

“Why are you getting so defensive..?” Hajime asks.

“Because it’s fucking obvious Kazuichi did it! He’s the only here who goes there, he’s lying about his claim, and he’s twice Hiyoko’s fucking size! He wouldn’t have a damn issue bashing in her head!” 

“Mikan and I were on the second island a swell.” Ibuki throws in. “We passed Kazuichi on the way to the beach, which means..” 

“You’re covering for someone, aren’t you Fuyuhiko..?” Hajime questions. 

“No, I’m not! Kazuichi is the fucking killer, let’s just vote already and get this over with!”  Fuyuhiko yells. He’s set and believes only Kazuichi could’ve done it. It doesn’t matter if Kazuichi can call his bluff. It doesn’t matter how much contrasting evidence they have against it.

Because if he doesn’t blame Kazuichi, that only leaves (Y/N). She wasn’t a killer. She was kind, and always loving towards Fuyuhiko, and… and that type of person doesn’t just take someone else’s life. No matter who it is, no matter who deserves it.. 

A part of Fuyuhiko knew he was being irrational. Somewhere deep down, he knew she killed Hiyoko. He didn’t know why, and he didn’t care. He would die fighting for (Y/N) instead of watching her be taken away… he didn’t want a repeat of what happened with Peko. He couldn’t lose both of them. 

He wasn’t going to let (Y/N) die. 

“Come on, let’s just start the fucking voting already!” Fuyuhiko suggests with authority. He didn’t care, for just a fleeting moment, he didn’t care about his friends, as long as she would be okay. 

The courtroom spirals into loud arguments and fights again. People arguing over alibis, over who was guilty, people siding with Fuyuhiko and people against his batshit logic. 

“GUYS, STOP FIGHTING!”.  A loud voice screams over the entirety of the arguments. It falls deadly silent as everyone turns to (Y/N). “It was me, okay!? I did it! I killed Hiyoko…” You exclaim, sniffling and crying from fear.

“(Y-Y/N)-” Fuyuhiko stutters, and the events of the last trial all come flooding back. All so different.. Yet still the same outcome.

 “Why did you..?” Hajime asks, before recollecting himself. “Why didn’t you confess earlier..?” 

“I-I don’t wanna d-die..!” She starts crying, tearing Fuyuhiko apart at the seams, the last of whatever stability left being ripped away. “B-But you guys started arguing a-and.. I d-don’t want my friends t-to get hurt cause I did something s-stupid..!” (Y/N) starts wiping away her tears. Whether she minded crying or not, whether she cared about appearing weak or strong.. She couldn’t stop crying. 

“...w-why?” Fuyuhiko mutters, looking up and locking eyes with her. “W-Why!? WHY THE FUCK DID YOU KILL HER!?” 

“I DIDN’T REALIZE WHAT I WAS DOING!” (Y/N) shouts, before a loud sob leaves her as she leans against her podium. “S-She..I ran into h-her at Electric Ave a-and she was m-muttering a-all these mean things..!” A large heavy breath through a snotty nose. “A-About how P-Peko deserved t-to die after w-what she did..! And th-that you should’ve died too..! A-And I got so mad, I just p-picked up whatever was n-next to me and I hit her- a-and by the time I was done I realized and..” 

“Breathe for a second..” Nagito mutters. “You can’t explain all of this when you can barely take in air.” 

“I know that, Nagito!” She snaps up her head to look at him, before staring at the floor again. “W-When I realized what I did, I threw the pipe into the ocean right o-off the bridge.. And I-I felt bad leaving her there s-so I took her back to her cottage a-and laid her down.. So she could r-rest easy…A-and I guess I l-locked the door on my way o-out of habit…” 

All self control left Fuyuhiko as he walked away from his podium and rushed over and basically grabbed (Y/N) by the collar, holding her head up and at his own height, regardless of how tall she was. “Why..? Wh-Why..?”

“S-She was so mean to you and P-Peko and I just- I didn’t mean to k-kill her- S-She was my f-friend-”

“Yet you killed her all the same. Jeez..” Nagito sighs. “W-” “S-Stay the fuck out of this Nagito!” Fuyuhiko snaps at him, eyes watering as he came to the realization that he was losing yet another person who he loved. This wasn’t what was planned. They were going to get out, and survive, and rule the Kuzuryuu clan, and.. 

“W-What’s wrong with you..? Y-You did this a-all to just defend me! And n-now you’re gonna die because y-you-” Fuyuhiko was trying to knock sense into you, trying to get you to justify yourself. 

“I didn’t want y-you to die b-because I- because I messed up!”  (Y/N) cries, Fuyuhiko’s grasp loose enough that (Y/N) breaks through and buries herself in his chest, crying loudly. Fuyuhiko can’t even pull himself to react. He knows he should hug her, or rub circles in her back, or anything, but he can’t bring himself to. 

The unyielding despair of losing both Peko and (Y/N).. Fuyuhiko knew damn well it was only what the mastermind wanted. Yet still... despair took him in a chokehold grip and suffocated him, nearly blinding the world he knew with black spots in his vision. Everything hurt.. He didn’t know if he was capable of crying anymore than he already was. 

“Gosh, all this sappy nonsense, every trial!” Monokuma complains. “Come on, everyone, it’s voting time!” 

Fuyuhiko can’t help but stare at his classmates as they pull their levers, all putting his precious (Y/N) on the chopping block.. They all looked like monsters in his eyes. If he were a sensible man who weren’t overtaken by emotion, he would’ve understood that this is what was meant to be done. Even before he was transported to this hellish island, that was how his life worked. When you’re the Ultimate Yakuza, you can’t get attached to people.

Peko and (Y/N) always felt like an exception, but…

clearly, he was wrong.

“Corrrect!” Monokuma’s everlasting, devilish grin seems to grow even wider, rubbing salt in the wounds. “Our dear (Y/N) has murdered Hiyoko! And she almost got away with it too, phuhuhu!” 

“YOU’RE A BASTARD!” Fuyuhiko screams, as (Y/N) pulls him back by the sleeve. 

“P-Please, Fuyuhiko..” 

He snaps back around. “W-Why..? P-Please, I-I- I can’t lose you too..”

“I’m s-sorry, Fuyuhiko..” 

“I’ve prepared a very special punishment for the Ultimate (talent)!”

“P-Please! I n-need you! Y-You can’t l-leave me too-!” Fuyuhiko is crying his eyes out, harder than he’d ever imagined he’s capable of. 

“Let’s give it everything we’ve got...!” 

“I-I’m sorry, Fuyuhiko.” (Y/N) bows her head. 

“Iiiiits PUNISHMENT TIME!” Monokuma shouts between the bits of conversations between the two torn apart lovers.

(Y/N) pulls Fuyuhiko close for a final kiss, and just as Fuyuhiko kisses back.. That stupid metal chain clamped around her neck. She takes in a heavy breath in shock, and then she’s dragged  away, just as Teruteru was….

No one spoke a word as they watched (Y/N)’s execution. Her mouth was moving, as if she wanted to say something, but of course they couldn’t hear.. Was she calling out for Fuyuhiko.? 

Even as her execution ended, no one spoke as they turned and caught Fuyuhiko, crying with his face in his hands as he was on his knees on the floor. Maybe the most emotion he’d ever shown...the trauma of watching both his childhood friend and lover dragged away weighed down and cracked the man’s very soul. It would take him a much longer time to recover from this...

[moved-danganronpamess]

HEY ANON! I'm really sorry, somehow I lost this ask somewhere when trying to put it in the drafts :((

Any ways I hope you still somehow see this, I had a lot of fun writing this

~Mod Tenko (Really sorry)

Ibuki, Mikan, and Akane comforting their S/O who has frequently has nightmares

Ibuki

Ibuki is a BIG cuddler so she loves to be with you at night

When sleeping she’ll cling to your side like a puppy!

You had told her about your nightmares, but down playing the severity of them as not to worry her

One night, you two were sleeping

It was a night cool night, the sound of the sea lulling you to sleep

With Ibuki hugging your side, you could hear her quiet snores

It felt safe

Even if you felt safe when you were awake, you dreams would run wild with nightmare scenarios 

Some nights they’re better than others

This night was one of the worst nightmares

It felt so real, it was hard to differentiate reality and dream

Until you joted away

You sat up with a start, waking Ibuki up in the process 

“Uhhrgg, s/ooooo… what’s up, why are you up?”

You were too shaken up to say anything

Ibuki sat up next to you, putting a hand on ur back

“Heyy, s/o are you okay? Did you have one of those sucky nightmares?

She ask, you could hear the pout in her voice

You nodded, pulling your knees to your chest, resting your knees

You could feel yourself shaking

Ibuki wrapped her arms around your shaking form, pulling you in to a tight hug

“It's okay babe!! Ibuki will chase away those bad dreams, sho sho bad dreams!”

She said, lightly patting the top of your head, causing you to chuckle

You, leaned into her hug, enjoying the warmth and comfort

Soon after you were able to fall back asleep, thankfully with no more nightmares for that night

Mikan

When Mikan learned about your nightmares she wanted to find away to help you

She offered some kind of medicine but you refused, it (probably) wouldn’t help

That night to invited Mikan to her cabin to stay the night

She agreed of course! She loved to cuddle with you.

It was a beautiful night, the sky was cloudless, you could see every star in the sky

You and Mikan watched the sea and the sky from your cabins window for a long time before you two can feel sleep taking over you

You laid down, Mikan crawled next to you (Or more like on top of you), wrapping her legs around your abdon and her arms wrapped around your arm.

Despite the pressure, it was pretty comfortable

You fell asleep later, slipping into a seemingly nice dream

But sadly, appearances lie

The dream soon turned dark, horrible things, it felt like you could never wake back up, until...

“A-ah! S/o?! S/o get a hold of yourself! Wake up!”

Mikan was shaking you wake, she was standing over you

“H-huh…. M-Mikan?”

“S/o! You w-were s-s-shaking and thrashing ar-around in your sleep!”

Mikan explained, taking her hands off your shoulders and sitting back down on the bed

“Oh.. Sorry Mikan I didn’t mean to wake you up, you can go if you don’t wanna get woken up again”

Mikan took your shaky hands in her own

“I-I never said t-that! I w-want to make sure you’re okay, s-so I’ll stay with you”

She said, a smile on her face before it fell into one of surprise as if realising what she had just said

“B-BUT! Unless you want me to leave…”

She said, now looking uncomfortable

You hugged Mikan

“Will you stay?”

After a second Mikan hugged you back

“Y-yea… yea I w-will”

Akane

Akane is a loud snorer

But test fine, it could be comforting in its own way

It was nice sleeping Akane, she can make a good pillow

You know what i mean

So you were sure that you would sleep well for one night

You lay down, getting comfortable and hugging Akane who was already asleep surprisingly 

And soon you too went to sleep

It started out a nice dream, it was fun

That was until it went downhill in a bad away

You woke up, shaky and full of fear.

You try sitting up but Akane had her arms around your waist 

Trying to gently remove her arms you somehow ended up waking her up

“Huh… ughh ‘sup s/o? Why are you up?”

She sat up, moving one arm to rub her face

After a few seconds she realized you were shaking

“Wha… S/o are you okay?! You shakin all over? Who do I gotta beat up”

She said, rambling

“Oh no no, it's okay Akane… It was just a stupid nightmare….”

You said, sitting up next to Akane

“It’s nothing, sorry about waking you up”

“That ain’t stupid! If it's botherin’ you!”

She put her arm around your shoulders

“Everyone get nightmares, hell! I get some, they ain’t stupid, ya wanna talk about it?”

You shook your head

“Nah, I just wanna cuddle some more”

“Cool! Come here, I’m all open arms”

She pulls you into a hug, and laying back down

Please be kind and take care of yourself’s my sweethearts! Be sure to eat three meals a day, drink water, take a walk, pick up a bit around the house, and take a shower/bath!

+Wear a mask when going outside~!

[actress4him]

Whumptober 2020 - Day 13

We’ve got another POV change today, this time to Lance! Gotta give not only my semi-regular shout out to @trope-appreciation-tuesdays for providing inspiration, but also a special shout out to the mod @the-wandering-whumper since they have declared two different tropes used here to be “their jam”. ;) Don’t expect the chemical pneumonia part of this to be medically accurate haha. This is called science fiction for a reason.

Day 13 - Chemical Pneumonia/Oxygen Mask

Fandom: Voltron: Legendary Defender

Warnings: death mention, respiratory distress, needles

The Yadselites were brilliant scientists. Pidge and Hunk had been in their element all day, oohing and aahing and making googoo eyes over all the equipment and experiments they were being shown.

Lance? He was the opposite of in his element. Sure, some of that stuff was pretty interesting, once someone, anyone, bothered to explain to him in plain English what the heck they even did. But most of the day had been a whole lot of science-speak that he only understood every five words of, and he had zoned out so many times that he was about to fall asleep.

“So, it’s a gas that does...what exactly?” Shiro asked. At least he wasn’t the only one who didn’t get the techno-babble speak. 

Pidge pushed her glasses back up on her nose with one finger. “It incapacitates the Galra. Basically it’s like throwing in a smoke bomb before the SWAT team goes in.”

“Yeah but this doesn’t just make their eyes water,” Hunk added. “Sounds like by the time you got in there every Galra would just be lying on the floor.”

“Dead?” Shiro sounded a mix of fascinated and horrified.

“No, no,” their tour guide, Rokuba, assured in that perpetual soothing tone that was part of the reason why Lance was falling asleep. “Only, as your Green Paladin says, incapacitated.”

“So it would, like, do our work for us? I’m okay with that.” It wasn’t like he minded how difficult his job was. He just wouldn’t mind if it was a little less difficult. 

Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed that Keith had taken a few steps backwards away from the group. Oh. Right. Galra-incapacitating gas, half-Galra Mullet. He’d probably be a little nervous, too, if it were him.

“Is it safe for other species...humans, for example?”

“Oh yes, very,” Rokuda smiled. “The gas targets a very specific combination of genes that are only found in Galran DNA. For humans, Yadselites, and all other species, there is only a light, sweet smell.” She reached for the canister. “If you will allow me to demonstrate…”

Before Lance - or apparently anyone else - could even think to protest, a flowery-smelling mist erupted into the air. Shiro and Hunk both shouted and lunged for the canister. Lance spun around to face Keith, who had clapped a hand over his nose and mouth and was staring at the gas in wide-eyed panic.

Then Pidge was bodily shoving him out of the lab, everyone following close behind while Rokuda stammered out multiple apologies. Ignoring her, Shiro shoved his way forward and clapped his hands onto Keith’s shoulders. 

“Keith! Keith, talk to me. Are you okay?”

Keith coughed. 

But it wasn’t, like, a terrible sounding cough. Just pretty much your typical “I have a tickle in my throat” cough, not one that seemed like he was about to keel over and die. 

Slowly, he lowered his hand, swallowing visibly. “I...I definitely inhaled some. But...I think I’m okay?”

They all let out a collective sigh of relief, despite the fact that he didn’t sound all that sure. He wasn’t choking or falling over, so that was as good of a sign as any. 

“Dude,” Hunk groaned. “Don’t scare me like that!”

Keith’s nose wrinkled and he looked as if he was about to protest that it wasn’t his fault, but Pidge interrupted. “Either you didn’t inhale enough to do any damage, or you don’t carry all of the right genes for it to affect you.”

“It could be either,” Rokuda offered. “We have not yet tested the effects of a minuscule amount, or on any species mixed with Galra. Again, I apologize greatly, your heritage momentarily slipped my mind.”

Shiro gave her a tight smile. “Well, he seems to be alright, so that’s what matters.”

The tour continued. Vargas passed, or at least it felt that long. By the time they finally, finally got back to the Castle, Lance had completely forgotten about the incident with the gas. 

Everyone gathered at the bridge so that Allura could lecture...ahem, brief them on the diplomatic meeting they’d be having the next day. Lance and Keith were standing side by side, the former tapping his foot rapidly, about to have a nervous breakdown if the Mullet cleared his throat one more time.

And of course, he did.

“Dude!” Lance exploded, throwing his hands up in the air. “Stop it with the throat clearing already! What is your problem?”

Keith’s eyebrows knitted together, and he raised one hand to his neck. “Sorry. My throat is just…” He covered his mouth with his jacket sleeve and coughed. 

“Our briefing is almost done, and then perhaps you should drink a hydration pouch,” Allura suggested. “However, it will be much easier for me to finish if there are no more interruptions.”

“Sorry,” both boys mumbled in unison.

They fell quiet as Allura resumed, not even any more throat clearing from Keith, though it kinda sounded like he was having to try really hard not to. The breaths he was pulling through his nose were loud and extremely deliberate. Lance was torn between still being annoyed and starting to be concerned, but leaned definitively more toward concerned once his breathing began to stutter both in and out.

Shooting glances out of the corner of his eye, Lance pressed his lips together and wondered if Keith was somehow even paler than usual. There was a strained look on his face, and Lance was debating whether or not he should interrupt again to ask if he was okay when Keith lost his battle to hold everything in and burst into a coughing fit.

The rest of the room fell silent as he doubled over, sounding like he was about to hack up a lung into his sleeve. Shiro crossed to him and rested a hand on his upper back.

“You okay, bud?”

Keith nodded through the last of the coughs, then straightened and swiped his hand across his eyes. “Yeah,” he rasped. “Sorry. ‘m fine.” He sucked in another labored breath, and coughed once more.

Coran edged his way toward the door. “Perhaps I should go get you that hydration pouch now.”

“Yes, please,” Shiro answered for him. 

“Sorry, ‘llura. You can -” Keith tried to draw another breath, but it seemed to get stuck in his throat and sent him into another coughing fit.

“Would you quit trying to talk?” Lance protested. “You’re clearly not okay right now.”

“‘m fine,” he whispered, but then his eyes went wide and he froze, his mouth hanging open as if to gasp in more air but the sound of his heavy breaths had completely stopped.

“Keith? Keith!” Shiro shook his shoulder. “Hey, look at me, what’s going on?”

Without further warning, Keith listed to the side, stumbling a few steps until he was falling practically into Lance’s arms. He scrambled to catch him before he slammed into the ground, though they both went down in the process.

“What the heck, Mullet?” Lance would never admit it to anyone, but he was scared. Keith’s head was laying on his shoulder, the rest of his body sprawled out inelegantly in his lap, and his eyes and mouth were still open wide. This close he could just barely make out a faint gurgling noise coming from the back of his throat. 

Lance snapped his attention up to Shiro, who was crouched next to them. “He’s not breathing. Shiro, he’s not breathing!”

Their leader bent over with his ear next to Keith’s face, then suddenly scooped him up off of Lance, standing and immediately breaking into a run. The others followed, looking just as alarmed as Lance felt. 

“What’s going on?” Allura demanded.

“I don’t know,” Lance replied, “but he needs the infirmary, now. Page Coran!”

He was close on Shiro’s heels when they entered the infirmary and Keith was dropped down onto a cot. His lips had taken on a blue tint, and he was definitely paler than usual this time. Hovering over him, Lance waved his hands around frantically, desperate for something to do to help but unable to think anything past, he’s not breathing he’s not breathing he’s not breathing.

“Here!” Pidge launched herself into his field of vision with something in her hands that she slapped down over Keith’s nose and mouth. An oxygen mask. Lance felt an inkling of relief at seeing the device, but it was quickly overshadowed by fear.

“His throat, though. His throat was...if it was closed up, then he still won’t -”

“I know.” Shiro’s voice was terse, all his attention focused on the boy who might as well be his brother. He stroked his human hand through Keith’s messy black hair, pressing his bangs back from his forehead. “I know. But I don’t...we need Coran in here.”

“He’s on his way,” Allura assured.

“I’m here!” The advisor burst into the room with all his usual gusto, and Lance felt his chest loosen the tiniest bit. Immediately snatching up the scanner, Coran frowned and mumbled to himself as he waved it over Keith’s prone body. After examining the screen for only a tick, he spun around and pointed at a cabinet against the far wall. “Number Five, I need an injection of stavunairalducord!”

As the only one of the humans who could read Altean, Pidge accepted her assignment right away and dashed to the cabinet, rummaging until she found the correct item and bringing it back to Coran just as quickly.

“Thank you, Number Five.” Twirling the needle around in nimble fingers, he popped off the cap and plunged it none too gently into the side of Keith’s neck. Lance flinched and cut his eyes away.

“What is that? What are you doing?” Shiro demanded.

“Number Four has extreme swelling in his throat and lungs, preventing air from passing through. This injection will begin to take the swelling down while we prep him to go into the healing pod.”

Sure enough, as Lance watched, Keith’s chest began rising and falling again, almost imperceptibly. Behind the oxygen mask his mouth relaxed, and his eyes fluttered shut as if in pure joy of being able to breathe. Shiro slumped a bit when he saw the reaction, though his hand never stopped carding through the black hair.

“What does he need the pod for?” Hunk asked, wringing his hands together.

Coran was already methodically beginning to remove Keith’s jacket and gloves. “To clear out the foreign substance that caused this reaction, and also to heal the damage that it caused. Whatever it is, it seems to have started eating away at the lining of his lungs.”

“Foreign substance?” Lance echoed.

Pidge gasped. “The Yadselites’ gas! You know, the...anti-Galra stuff!”

Groaning, Shiro dropped his forehead into his hand. “How could I have forgotten? But I never expected it to take this long to have an effect. I should have brought him back to get checked out right away.”

“He seemed fine, though,” Pidge offered. “It must have something to do with him only being half, or because it was just a tiny amount.”

Coran hummed. “Well, whichever it is, it’s a nasty little bugger. I’d hate to see what would have happened if he had inhaled any more.”

“Is he...gonna be okay?”

Lance had been almost certain that Keith had lost consciousness by that point, but his eyes slitted open then and found Lance’s. His hand twitched, and Lance glanced down to see him giving a weak thumbs up.

Coran chuckled. “Yes, I think he’ll be just fine. That is, if we get him into that pod as soon as we can, so let’s give him some privacy to get changed, shall we?”

Hunk ushered everyone out of the room, eager to let Keith start healing. Lance kept looking back over his shoulder at the pale, still figure on the bed. He was pretty sure he wouldn’t be relaxing at all until the Mullet was up on his feet and throwing jabs at him again. The feeling of him collapsing into his arms and the sound of his struggles to breathe would be sticking with him for a long time to come.

[noirapocalypto]

Do you have characters for other games like Fallout, Skyrim, etc? 👀

YES OMG okay so

I haven't played Skyrim, Fallout, Dragon Age, etc in such a long time. I lost most of my game saves and had to dig around to find screenshots of my old characters. Here are some of my old ones (and some of my recent ones).

So this is my very first dragonborn, back when I played the SHIT out of Skyrim when it first came out. Her name is Vondra, she's a fun, down to earth wood elf archer. I had a whole story to her, where she was just a regular wood elf living out in the woods, living off the land, doing her hunting and was suddenly thrust into this whole ordeal with dragons, being a the dovahkiin and just having all this pressure on her. She was my favorite character and was SO bummed out when I couldn't recreate her after switching computers.

This is my new dragonborn character that I just made a few days ago after reinstalling Skyrim and modding it. Since I'm playing the SE version, I couldn't find ALL the mods I was using all those years back. And it was a process trying to reach myself everything all over again, especially with the Vortex mod manager. I wanted to recreate Vondra, but honestly, I figured I'll never get her exactly the same, so I named this Nael and decided to roll a whole new character. She's still an archer, but with a different personality (which I have yet to figure out). I gotta figure out how to take decent looking screenshots on Skyrim again, so for now, these are the only pics of her I have.

Now onto a different game.

This is my elf from Dragon Age Inquisition. Again, not my first one, since I lost that save file when I switched computers. But I tried remaking her the best I could. Her name is Shyla, an archer (I tend to play the same types in similiar games lol). Her original love interest was Iron Bull, when I restarted the game, I decided to try Blackwall and that sad, scruffy man just won my heart. I wanna play again, but the modding process is ass, imo.

Sadly, I don't have anymore screenshots. All I have left is my Fallout 4 character that I haven't edited yet so she's still in her "vanilla" state, but as soon as I start playing again, I'll post her soon!

The rest of my characters have been long forgotten or lost 😭But at least that means I can make new ones.

[dangan-happy]

 KAME-HAME-FORGET ABOUT IT! 

For Kokichi and Keebs pls

I’m new to the fandom and you two are my comfort characters now congratulations! Anyway, I’ve been having constant anxiety, worried about someone I love dying. I lost my grandpa two years ago and then lost another family member this year, I’ve been crying quite a lot. How do I ease my anxiety?

Woo! I've gotten like, a crap ton of asks lately. Guess I'm doing something right! Oh wow, you're new to Danganronpa huh? Welcome to hell!! Just kidding, it's not that bad. Well...Just stay out of the toxic cesspools and you'll do just fine! Hey, hey! You have awesome taste! I'm one hundred and twenty four percent flattered to be one of your comforts, and that's no lie!

I'm sure you've heard this line a thousand times before, but I'm really sorry for your loss. First of all, you don't have to rush it. Grieving is a whole process, and it's not great if you rush things. You kind of have to let nature take its course on that end. It's totally ok to cry, you shouldn't try to repress anything you're feeling. This kind of thing leaves a toll on people, and that's ok. There's no good way to skip the painful emotional-y parts unfortunately, and you kinda gotta wait it out.

As for the anxiety, I mean, you obviously have a solid cause for having it. I think that's for a professional to really handle, because maybe medication could help make it more manageable. I'm medicated for my anxiety, but some coping things that have worked for me before are trying to stimulate myself when I start spiraling, (counting things, drumming my fingers on something) and carrying a comfort item around. (Something small I can put in my pocket like a marble) I think that's the best advice I have for you, so I really hope it helped. Be gentle with yourself ok?

C-comfort character? You think that I’m a source of comfort for you..? Thank you anon, that really means a lot, even if I don’t exactly know why you paired me with Kokichi of all people... W-Welcome to the fandom by the way, and please try to stay on the right side of it. It can be a bit... odd sometimes.

Onto the actual ask itself I’m... awfully sorry to hear about both of your losses Anon, it must be extremely difficult to grieve two people at once, and my best condolences go to you. Kokichi’s right however, there is no reason to rush anything at all here, since emotions will simply be... emotions. There’s no way we can completely control them, and repressing them would only make things much worse. It’s okay to feel what you do, and it’s also okay to cry. As far as I know, it’s completely normal to do those things. You just have to allow nature to take its course.

For the anxiety, as much as I hate to say this, Kokichi’s correct yet again. Your fear and anxiety is more than valid, especially given the situation you’re in, but it’s also extremely important to not allow it take over your mind and your life. Therapy could really help with that, and can allow you to discover coping mechanisms alongside facing the issue at hand, while stimulation is a coping mechanism itself used by many. (Mod does it hirself sometimes, who knew that chewing on a bottle cap was like, relaxing??)

Although, I would also like to recommend perhaps speaking to your fellow family members or your friends about your fear.  People that you’re close with can help comfort you in your toughest of times, and if they allow you to, you can always get out your darkest thoughts to them. Of course, this isn’t a replacement to therapy in any means, rather something you can do alongside it to help express your feelings somehow. 

That’s all I really have to say myself, but I really hope that Kokichi and I were able to help out somewhat. I wish you the best of luck with managing your anxiety, and please, take some time for yourself too when possible. Farewell, Anon.

[r3b3lgrrrrrrrl]

A LunaTic and Her Gunn (Part 115 2Xs2) "True Intentions"

@crystalbaby12 @backoftheroomandnotbelonging @5sosfam1dlover @rosefilledhearts-blog

"I've got different colored sticky tabs for the different spaces." Luna announces as she enters her storage unit.

Jackie and Sam are there with The Movers. Luna goes through picking out which pieces will go to The Brownstone, her Studio Apartment and the Recording Studio she just bought. She had signed the closing paperwork electronically with Monica and Ben earlier this week on the latter properties. The Apartment is ready but the Recording Studio needs a contractor for the equipment installation. Jackie being on top of that, they start the gutting process next week. Everything else is being moved out today.

"Whoah!!! Be carful with that!!" Sam cries out in concern as she watches The Movers roughly handle an original, stretched Mapplethorpe.

"What the FUUUUUCK." Luna groans as she rubs her forehead. "Why wasn't that crated?" She asks no one in particular as her phone rings. "Hello?" She sighs into the receiver.

It's Kylie. Luna's therapist. Calling because it's 2P on every other Thursday. Luna excuses herself, trusting Sam and Jackie while she finds an empty stairwell.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"It's just conflicting, Ky... " Luna let's out with an annoyed sigh and a cloud of smoke from her pen while playing with Colson's padlock around her neck.

She's been on the phone with Kylie for the last 45mins talking about everything and anything. Colson, Justin, trust, feeling over exposed, setting up the lable. Her therapist advising her to breathe as always and to make a Pros and Cons list regarding marrying Colson. Knowing there is no option, Luna humors her with an Okay before they get off the phone.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"How do we look?" Luna asks after coming back in from the stairwell.

"Good." Jackie begins to reassure her. "Everything you want is loaded into the two trucks. I'm gonna ride to The Brownstone and Sam to The Apartment... Uhm, Lee said you're good to go at Electric Lady Land around 7P... "

"And I talked to Mikey, he'll be there no problem." Sam chimes in.

"You guys are fucking AWESOME. Thank you." Luna pulls them in for a three way hug. "I gotta go meet Petey." She informs them once they release. "You guys good without me?" She asks.

Both women nod. Giving promises of phones calls if there's any problems as Luna heads back towards the stairwell; popping another XR and two 30s during her descent. It shouldn't be THAT hard... They're only responsible for moving half of her life.

---------------------------------------------------

Colson gets in touch with The Boys and heads to Amsterdam Billiards for pool and beers. Popping his own handful of Adderall along the way. Stepping out of the cab, Mod greets him with an excited hug.

"What up, Kid!" He squeezes his unhappy friend. "Aww, come on... Don't be like that, you know Luna'll come around. She always does." Mod tells him with a slap on the back as they walk inside.

Benny, Baze, AJ, Rook and Slim have a table racked up. Mod grabs more beers as Colson joins them. They're all talking about the GMA performance. Agreeing it was killer. While Rook also can't stop talking about Jackie.

"Good luck with that, Rookie. I don't think Loons is doing any of us any favors right now." Colson sighs as he leans down to break.

"Shit. Speak for yourself, that's my homie, Dawg." Rook disagrees with him as he swigs his beer.

---------------------------------------------------

Luna meets Pete on The Delancey's rooftop bar. He's already sat when she walks in. Noticing her, he stands for them to hug Hello. His normal excitement clearly missing as she orders a drink.

"I heard you and Colson got into it after I left." Luna cuts right to the core.

"Yeah. He wants to blame me for him running his mouth." Pete starts to complain to Luna's silence. "Like I started all this shit."

"You kinda did... I love you Petey but whether I cheated on Colson or Justin, like I told you last night, it's none of your business. My betrayal didn't land on you or even Colson so really the two of you are fighting over some shit that doesn't even concern you. It's that simple." Luna explains.

"So you did cheat on Beebs?" Pete asks her, ignoring everything else she had said.

"Yeah, Petey. I told you last night that I had an affair. I'm not proud of it but it happened." Luna shrugs as she fights back tears of guilt.

"Who was it?" He pries.

"What? No. You don't get to ask questions like that... Like, I don't understand why this feels like you're mad at me for some reason. I didn't do ANYTHING to you." Luna furrows her eyebrows at him as she takes a sip of her drink.

"Yeah but you did do something to my friend that he never did to you." Pete looks into his beer and then up at Luna.

"You didn't know Justin and I's relationship as well as you think you did. Just like you don't know nearly as much about me and Colson as you think you may. My turn? Your judgmental attitude towards me is really disappointing and if you're so worried about your FRIENDS than go make up with the one that's still in town. I'm outta here though." Luna swallows the rest of her Old Fashioned with two gulps. "Hit me up when you're done being a dick." She calls over her shoulder as she walks out of the bar.

---------------------------------------------------

Mike's sitting alone outside of Electric Lady Land when Luna arrives. Lighting a cigarette, he looks up. Green eyes taking her in as he stands to grab her guitar case from her.

"What's goin' on, Luna?" He asks as he sits back down and takes a drag from his Marlboro.

Luna fishes around in her bag for her joint box and flask. Finding them both, she takes a swig before offering it over to his acceptance. Lighting a joint, she sighs out a cloud of smoke as they sit in silence. Sometimes no talking is good.

After a while Sam shows up. The three of them head inside to meet up with Lee. Thanking him, he tells Luna no one was even booked as they begin to set up in Studio A.

Realizing they need producers, Luna calls Slim. Then Snaps Colson. Setting her bag on the table, she pulls out supplies. Weed, whiskey, cigarettes and more weed. Popping another few 30s before laying her guitar back onto her body.

---------------------------------------------------

"Yeah! No problem, we'll be down there ASAP." Slim says into his phone. "That was LunaTic, she wants us to come produce the track." He says excitedly to Baze once he hangs up. "Dawg! We gonna make some music in Jimi Hendrix's fucking spot, Yo!!" He exclaims as they slap hands across the pool table.

Colson's just about to put his two sense in when his phone goes off. Digging in his pocket, it's not the message he was expecting. It's a Snap from Luna.

"If I want? What kind of fucking shit is that?" He scoffs in his mind. "Why's she so fucking hot even while she's being such a fucking a bitch." He finds himself becoming annoyed with how much he wants her and her resistance towards him. He shoves his phone back in his pocket without responding.

The Boys are getting ready to head to  Greenwich Village when Colson's phone goes off again. It's the message he's been waiting for. Telling The Boys he'll meet up with them later, he's out the door before they pay the tab.

---------------------------------------------------

Luna's leaned towards Mike in the booth when Colson walks in. He can't hear them but he doesn't like that he can see him making her laugh. Mike's a little to comfortable in his interactions with Luna in Colson's personal opinion. Luna catches the back of his blonde hair and significant tattoo as she looks up, watching as he walks out of the room. He quickly heads down the hall towards the bathroom, promptly pulling out the quarter ounce of cocaine he'd grabbed from Nipple.

Colson walks back into the studio just as Luna, Sam and Mike begin recording. Sitting with Slim and Baze at the soundboard, he grabs a pair of headphones and slips them on. Listening and watching intently. Luna can feel his eyes burning straight into her soul.

Nailing it on the third full take, they leave it alone. Luna doesn't want it mixed. Layered, yes but not mixed. She's always preferred the gritty, garage rock sound over studio polish any day. Coming out of the booth, she approaches Colson as he stands up.

"You came." She purrs with a drunken slur to her sentence as she wraps her arms around his waist.

"I go where you go, Kitten. Always." He promises her before lifting her chin to kiss her deeply; enjoying their first real kiss of the day but opening his eyes half way through to stare down Mike from around the side of the top of her head.

Hanging out afterwards, they celebrate with beers and lines. Luna declining as everyone else partakes in Colson's party favor. Having done enough other drugs all day, she's still buzzing from earlier so she's solid without it. Preferring to burn and drink instead.

"What do you have recorded so far?" Mike asks Luna about her upcoming album.

"I think maybe three out of an ambitious twenty!" Luna laughs softly at herself.

"I'm down to help with anything you need." Mike offers as he passes her a joint.

"Thanks... I'm probably gonna take you up on that." Luna answers. "I don't really have a band right now and we... "

"That's why you got us." Rook interrupts her while plunking down on the couch beside her and tossing an arm around her shoulders; he doesn't like the way Mike has been hanging around Luna either.

"That I do." Luna giggles as she kisses his cheek.

"We backed her on Nightmare and I produced Outlaw." Rook declares proudly while studying to the musician.

"That's cool, Little Man." Mike responds unfazed by Rook as he stands up. "Luna, you got my number if you wanna use it for anything. I gotta run though." He smirks at Rook as he leans down to peck her cheek.

"You want me to walk you out?" She offers.

"Nah, I'm good... I'll catch you around though." Mike smiles at her before heading for the door.

Watching the entire interaction, Colson follows behind him. Calling out his name, he catches him in the hallway right at the front door. Mike turns around unamused.

"You know we're engaged, right?" Colson questions him with an irritated tone.

"Yeah... And?" Mike cuts back while cocking his lip.

"AND? And I don't like the way you fucking act around her so back the fuck up." Colson snaps at him.

"Gonna be kinda hard since it seems that SHE wants ME as her new bassists." Mike laughs at him while slapping him on the shoulder.

"Gonna be kinda hard to play ANYTHING when I snap your fucking fingers." Colson warns him as he shoves Mike up against the wall; Mike's 6'2 so there's not much of a height difference between them.

"Try it, My Man." Mike chuckles, unimpressed by Colson's threat.

"You know what, you're right... " Colson let's him off of the wall. "Maybe I overreacted." He says as he opens the door for Mike and he begins to walk through. "Or maybe I FUCKING didn't!" Colson growls as he grabs Mike's right hand and jerks him back.

Slamming it with the door, in between the frame. One. Two. Three. Four times. Most likely breaking it.

"YOU PIECE OF FUCKING SHIT!" Mike screams as he grasps his mangled hand.

"You can walk away right now or you can crawl away with two broken legs also." Colson advises as he props the door open again.

"You're gonna FUCKING regret this." Mike snarls to Colson's emotionless stare as he holds his hand and turns to leave. "That was a bad fucking move, My Man." He calls out from the sidewalk.

"Maybe it was... Maybe it wasn't... But DAMN if it didn't feel good." Colson walks back to the studio with a pep in his step for the first time today; having released a majority of his stress. "I never liked that motherfucker anyway." He thinks as he opens the door, looking to locate only Luna. Knowing in the back of his mind that her and Sam are gonna probably fuck him up for what he just did but he doesn't care. Fuck that Dude, he doesn't want him around Luna regardless of the cost.

---------------------------------------------------

"There's stuff!!" Rook exclaims pointing at the large, round arial rug, crates and boxes in The Living Room as they return to The Brownstone. Everyone but Luna is zooted, even Sam. "Yo!!" Check out these fucking chairs!" Rook continues to holler, now from The Study.

It's also stacked with boxes of Luna's books and vinyls. Having one wall with floor to ceiling bookshelves, she's looking forward to using them. Walking in, she finds Rook lounging on one of the two highback, purple velvet chairs she owns along with the exposed Mapplethorpe.

"What's up with that picture?" Rook asks as he accepts a beer from Luna.

"My grandfather shot it." She tells him proudly as they clink their beers together.

"It's really cool. Like the two flowers are reaching out for each other. Like death grasping for life." He says thoughtfully.

"I think that's what he was going for." Luna smiles to herself, admiring the exceptional piece.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Luna makes her way upstairs to the shower. Turning Fletcher on, she lights up a joint as she cuts up another two 30s and swallows two Xanax bars. It's been a long day, she hasn't been to sleep in almost 48hrs and she's incredibly shaky from all the Adderall. Wanting to simply wash everything away and knock the fuck out.

"Hey... " Colson's sitting on the bed when she comes out of the bathroom.

"Hi." She answers as she stops and looks at him with a sigh.

"Please come're, Luna." He asks for her as he reaches his arms out yet again.

This time she does. Sitting on his lap in her towel, she wraps her arms around him and nuzzles her head into her spot in the crook of his neck. Resting his chin on her head, Colson and Luna hold each other silently besides his constant sniffling.

"Loons, I'm sorry." Colson speaks first. "I shouldn't... "

"Please. I'm SO tired." Luna whines. "But, Colson, it's not the secret that you told. I would've told Justin had he cared to notice or ask. It's that you told A secret because I've got bigger ones than that. You have no idea." She sighs sadly.

"Like what, Kitty?" Colson pries with concern.

"Seriously, I am so fucking tired, Col. Can I please just sleep. I promise I'll tell you everything." She pleads with him as the Xanax begins to take over.

"Okay... " Colson agrees as he kisses her forehead. "Lay with you?" He asks.

"There's no way you can lay down right now... Just come to bed eventually, please." Luna requests.

"Yeah." He promises "I love you." He tells her before taking her face in his hands and kissing her passionately.

"I love you too." She kisses him lightly on the lips again once they release before crawling off of his lap.

Dropping her towel, Luna climbs into their bed. Wrapping herself in the warm, custom blanket, she snuggles into the pillow with heavy exhaustion. Colson leans down and kisses her cheek. Dropping another I love you into her ear as she mumbles the same. She's out before he closes the door.

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Colson, Sam, Baze, Rook, AJ, Benny, Mod and Slim are downstairs for the next few hours. Jamming, talking uncontrollably and bouncing in and out off the front stoop to smoke cigarettes as they blow through the bag of coke. 

The house is still bare so they decide it's a good idea to start setting Luna's books up on the shelves. They're all high as fuck, doing whatever they want. Sam and Mod begin trying to organize her vast collection but are making no sense. Baze gets caught up in a hardback limited edition entitled The Great Big Book of Rock and Roll. Slim and Colson are in awe when they open a box of her records. Sitting on the floor, they start going through them like little kids in a candy store. Rook's really flying and gets bored quickly, heading into The Living Room to beat his energy out on his new drum kit. Benny and AJ are the only chill ones as always. Maxed out in the purple chairs, they continuesly puff on and pass blunts to the other wackos. Luna sleeping through it all.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Sam and Colson find themselves out on the stoop alone. Their normal awkward silence is gone as cocaine fuels their conversation. Talking all things Luna. This is one of the reasons Sam barely hits the slopes, she talks too fucking much when she's on 'em.

"You can't be mad at Pete." She offers up her opinion. "Luna's like another little sister to him." She tries to explain.

"Yeah but he's supposed to be my bestfriend." Colson disagrees.

"I get that... So can't you understand the fucked up spot you put him in between the two of you?" Sam counters as she takes a drag off of her Camel.

"Yeah... I think he thought she cheated on me... " Colson trails.

"Look, he had a really hard time with Justin and Luna's relationship too. We both did. Justin would disappear and we'd be looking for him with Luna. Sometimes we'd find him sometimes we wouldn't. Sometimes he'd call Pete, me or Izak on his own. Pete and Izak would hide him... It was fucked up." Sam shakes get head in dismay as her own heart breaks. "Justin would get clean, be good for a minute but then relapse all over again and she'd be a fucking mess. If anyone tried to paint their relationship as picture perfect to you than they didn't truly know them. Luna and Justin had a lot of problems." Sam admits to one of the first people ever; Colson seeming to have that effect on people.

"She doesn't really talk about him... I mean a little but I can tell it's restrained." He sighs.

"There's my Sammy Bam Bam!" Baze interrupts them with a grin as he opens the door.

"Make up with Pete." Sam pats Colson on the shoulder as she stands up to head inside with her boyfriend.

The Cocaine Cowboys eventually round their night out. Sam following Baze to his room as Rook, AJ, Benny, and Slim head to theirs. Mod being super grateful for the spare bedroom he slept in last night. Colson making his way up to a still sleeping Luna.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Stripping his clothes, Colson climbs into bed with Luna. Her body is warm as he slides himself around her. Firmly running his hand up her outer thigh, along her hip and ribcage before crawling around her breast. Feeling every inch of her once more as he runs his hand back down her slender body.

Luna moans as her hips begin to shift back and forth out of need and instinct. Colson grows harder against her back as he slips his fingers along her pussy lips. Feeling her juices spill out as he lightly dips his finger inside of her.

"Mmm... Fuck, I've missed her taste." He mentally moans, not being a able to resist sticking his fingers in his mouth as his tongue dances around her unique flavor.

"I wanna fuck you." Colson husks deeply into her ear while he grabs her tit.

"Mhm." Luna murmurs hazily as she perks her ass into him.

Getting the Go, Colson seperates her delicate lips with his fingers. Taking his time, he slowly guides himself into Luna. Feeling her body tense as she moans and pushes her ass deeper into him. Tangling their legs in each other's, Luna reaches behind and grabs the back of Colson's neck to pull him closer to her. Kissing every inch of her that he can reach, he fucks her sternly while she bounces lazily off of his cock. With her face and closed eyes still resting softly in her pillow; she moans and fucks Colson contently in her sleep and drug induced state.

There's something about a SleepFuck that's incredibly satisfying to Luna. Her walls clutch Colson's dick in pleasure, making he thrusts harder. Releasing himself as he feels her cum all over him.

"FUCK." He breathes into her bare neck.

"Mmm... " Is Luna's only response, she's already almost back asleep.

---------------------------------------------------

Pete shows up on The Brownstone's stoop with two coffees. Colson meeting him with four blunts. The two friends take a seat. Colson firing up the first blunt after Pete hands him his coffee.

"Yo... I'm sorry, Dawg." Colson starts as he exhales. "I put you in some shit... "

"Nah, Homie." Pete cuts him off as he accepts the blunt. "Luna's business is her own. No matter who it's with." Pete sighs. "I just worry about her, Man. And you too. I've seen you both go through some fucked up shit and I don't want to see it again, I guess." Pete half shrugs as he takes a pull.

"Look, Sam ACTUALLY talked to me last night so I get it a little more than I did before." Colson tells him as he accepts the blunt.

"It was just hard... " Pete shakes his head at the memories.

"I don't want this to fuck us up." Colson bares his soul to one of his bestfriends.

"Me neither." Pete agrees as he reaches for the second blunt and fires it up.

Both friends look at each other. There's an understanding between men that can happen without words. This is one of those times. With a simple nod, Pete and Colson are good. Going on to enjoy their coffee, each other and the NYC morning as they get high and bust it up like nothing ever happened.

---------------------------------------------------

Luna's extra miserable when Colson wakes her up for their flight back to LA. The lack of sleep, too many drugs and her gunshot wound have her aching in every sense of the word. She doesn't shower. Just throws on sunglasses, cuttoffs and an oversized Hotel Diablo hoodie.

They make it to JFK just in time for their 11A flight. Everyone is dragging, not only Luna. Proving that cocaine is a Motherfucker. Once seated in first class, everyone knocks back out. Luna curling up against Colson as his face lays on her head and arm rests upon her bare leg.

---------------------------------------------------

It's just before 8P by time they make it back to The LA House. Everyone is tired. No one is happy. All dropping their luggage in The Living Room before heading to their beds. They're so mentally jacked, no one's even thought to check The Charts, let alone eat at all day.

---------------------------------------------------

Luna and Colson sleep clean until the next morning until her alarm goes off. Colson groans as she shifts away from him. Climbing out of the bed, she reaches high to stretch. Colson watching her out of one slitted eye.

"Why are you up?" He asks flatly.

"So you can truly see me." Luna answers before disappearing into the bathroom.

It takes a shit ton of coaxing and drugs to get Colson moving after Luna's shower. Complaining the whole time as she hands him water and joints. Once in the shower he starts to feel slightly better after he jerks off. He's FINALLY fully functional after his Adderall and coffee kicks in.

Not getting as much sleep as Luna and doing way more drugs, he's really edgy. She hands him a football before they walk out of the bedroom. He's so pissy they leave the house quietly without his trademark WE OUT.

---------------------------------------------------

"Can I have the keys?" Luna asks, she's dressed in an overall romper, white shirt, long socks and one of her leathers as they walk towards the Rover in the early Saturday sun.

"Why?" Colson asks back as he tosses them to her in his own ripped jeans and black T.

"I need to drive and you need to listen." She answers before sliding into the driver's seat.

"You're talking to me now?" He counters with a slight attitude as he buckles his seatbelt.

"Do you think this is a fucking game?" Luna whips her head towards him.

"No." He answers solemnly as he sparks a joint.

"You don't seem to fucking get it at all." Luna shakes her head as she pulls out of the driveway.

"Look Loons, I'm sorry I fucked up with the Tommy and Justin thing. I shouldn't have said shit no matter how I was feeling." He exhales his apology as he passes her the joint and finally pops the Xanax she gave him.

"You still don't get it, Colson. How many times do I have to tell you.. It's not the secret you told. It's that you TOLD a secret. Period. You don't seem to realize that I'm dirtier than a fucking affair... Fuck." Luna let's out an exasperated sigh. "Let's be honest. In the short time you've known me; I've committed coercion, shot a federal agent, am in the process of setting up an underground abortion clinic... Oh! And I was blackmailed into issuing a public apology for fucking up one person out of what? A fucking dozen? And that's only been in the last 3MNTHS... Seriously, I am a fucking criminal." Colson stares at her as everything begins to register. "Fuck, I've got things going on that you don't even know about yet." She continues to worry as she hits the joint a few times while staring ahead. "And now, I'm terrified to fucking tell you about them."

"Like what?" Colson asks her with a concerned, yet amused SideEye as he takes the joint.

"Why should I tell you? Every criminal who's been caught is usually taken down because of their irrational lover." She looks over at him with a light smirk and hazy blue eyes for the first time during their car ride.

"You really gonna play me like that?" He scoffs at her before inhaling a huge hit.

"I don't know. You wanna say don't call Jax but are your stupid ass, jealous comments gonna get me popped one day?" She bites back as she fumbles for her cigarettes.

"Are you fucking serious?" He spits out as he starts to get angry with her. "What the fuck do you think I would do to you and what the fuck else are you doin' that's worse than what I already know? And where the FUCK are we going?" He demands as they continue to drive.

Luna's quiet for a long moment as she smokes her Newport. She's trying to keep herself calm and figure out exactly how to tell Colson about what things. Already having made her decision long before they got into the SUV to give up her biggest secret.

"Tell me, Luna." Colson asserts as he lights another joint.

"All in?" She asks him firmly as she looks over at him and holds his stare while he grabs her hand to reassure her. "I told you... I'm dirtier than you think. I own properties that clean money and stash shit for one of the biggest distributors on The East Coast." Luna admits in a hushed voice.

"It's for Tommy, isn't it?" Colson immediately snaps as his mind flashes back to his conversation with Benny.

"OH MY FUCKING GAWD!!" Luna can't help but scream. "You are so fucking hung up on other dudes that it's insane and probably what's gonna get me caught!" Luna stops. "How can you not see that I tell you more about myself WILLINGLY than any other human being on This Earth? That you know more about me than Justin ever did." Luna's lip trembles as tears escape from her eyes. "So, yeah... It started with Tommy but I have bigger associates now... " Luna shakes her head. "That's only a blip though. There is so much more at stake for me than that!" Luna slams her palms against the steering wheel in frustration as she begins to sob. "You have no fucking idea." She shakes her head again as her voice breaks.

"Then what is it, Luna?" Colson softens his tone with her.

Coming to a stop light, Luna turns her head and looks Colson dead in the eyes. Her hands are clutching the steering wheel so tightly that her knuckles are white. There's a look on her face he's never seen before. It's a mixture of sadness, pain and determination. Taking a shuddered sigh, Luna flicks her cigarette out the window. She finds herself begging The Universe that he won't betray her this time as she's about to tell only Colson her true intentions. Lighting her own joint, she inhales deeply and holds the hit in. Looking over at Colson, she studies him. He stares back, waiting for her words.

"I'm gonna kill Smurf." She states icily before turning away, releasing the brake and focusing on what's ahead. "Still wanna marry me now?" She asks, puffing on the joint without taking her eyes off of the road.

---------------------------------------------------

Part 2 of 2

To be continued...

[prince-toffee]

She-Ra #0

- Karma -

[Two Years After The Defeat of Horde Prime]

Plumeria

The moonlight of the many Etherian moons rained down and coated the greenery of Plumeria. Plumeria was one of the smallest kingdoms on the planet, there wasn’t anything fancy or kingdom-ly about it. No enormous castles, not even real towns, just a bunce of tree-houses and empty fields. Which in a way was perfect for the refugee clones, the open fields were filled with makeshift tents, with tired, injured, and or defective clones with conditions that had to be looked after, taking up residence in them. Over the two years more and more shelters accumulated since the defeat of Prime and his main armada. It all worked out fairly well, with the clones populating the ground and the Plumerians residing in the trees. They much like most Etherians had mixed feelings about the clones, some were more welcoming than others. Fortunately brawls didn’t break out as often as in some other parts. It was clear that the Princess of the land, Perfuma, wasn’t too thrilled about their presence, but she put on a smile and played nice.

Modulok wasn’t quite sure what the title of ‘royalty’ or ‘Princess’ meant on this world, but it seemed as if the success criteria involved owning some land since there were apparently hundreds of Princesses, some with kingdoms the size of a town, or a nightclub, believe it or not. How the political landscape worked, he did not know. But he didn’t really care either. It was peaceful that was all that mattered to a surgeon and medic like Modulok. The settlement at Plumeria was one of the smaller ones, nowhere near as developed and packed as Doormat or the New Salineas. And again that’s why he liked it, quiet, far away from anything and everything, a grasshopper here, the rustle of leaves there. However something always seemed to go out of its way to find him. Case in point his quite drunk brother, Vultak, who barged into Mod’s tent in the middle of the night.

Vultak clumsily stumbled into the tent, two glasses of some sort of alcoholic drink in hand. He set the glasses on the operating table Mod was currently working on. Before Mod could protest, as he opened his mouth Vultak raised his pointing finger up to him to stop him. V then proceeded to drag a chair from the side to the operating table. V sat down and took a swig emptying one glass. The drunk clone just stared dazed at the patient Modulok was operating on, but caught a glance coming from Mod that was disapproving.

“Do you mind?”

“Not at all, carry on.”

That drew out a sigh from the medic, he was all too familiar with those snappy comebacks as well as his delusional pessimistic rants and ravings, which Mod was sure were about to follow. The two just looked at each other, a sedated individual between them, it was quite a comedic scene to be hold if there were a third party observing.

Modulok had lost his arms in one of the countless wars and had replaced them with cybernetics which could split in two giving him the total of four arms to work with. As a defect Modulok had blood red lenses, eyes and teeth. Not to mention his skinny frame, and lack of weight, and inability to gain weight. He wore a black and red tech suit, not bulky like Hordak’s, much thinner with tubes and cables hanging here or there. Under it you could see his bones and rip cage pressed tight around his skin, in some areas the white bone broke through the skin forming vein-like patterns across his body - common side effects for defects. A unique defect to Mod was that his skin was coloured red, it didn’t mean much, but others thought it looked neat.

Vultak was far more odd and different, some clones even called him the strangest clone alive. One of the oldest living too. V was a defect too, defects liked to stick together, at least most of them, not Modulok specifically. Vultak was thin too, like a walking toothpick. Vultak’s top half of his head was a red glass-looking dome resembling a radar display. No eyes. However a long witch-like nose. And shark-sharp teeth, though that was common with all clones. Possibly his most iconic aspect were his retractable wings being able to extend out of his under-arms, unveiling metallic feathers as sharp as knives. Various experimental technology was incorporated into his arms, giving his wings the ability to cause micro-hurricanes, and gusts of wind. And flight, obviously.

Also, he was thousands years old.

“V, you clearly want something so just say it and get it over with, the less time I spend with you the saner I’ll remain.” Modulok stated tiredly knowing fully well conversations with V could be exhausting. He leaned on his right arm which he placed on the table.

“What? Come on, can’t a brother just want to hang out with his other clone brother from another mothership?...” Mod was unamused and unphased, in the pause and silence his expression did not change. “And also my dearest, most awesome, talented brother, who is a doctor... I could... use some of that reeeeeally good tastin’ medicine that only a certified medic like you can hand out.” Vultak gave him a smile and tilted his head.

Mod gave him an eye roll, “I am not handing you the pills!”

“Oh come on, Mod! This stuff’s getting out on the street anyway! You’re not upholding some moral high-ground, you’re not holding society together! Come on, please, just one.”

Modulok waved him off, shaking his head. “Absolutely not. And I’m not trying to up hold anything, I don’t care what happens out there, but it just so happens that when some stupid non-sense takes place out there it means I’ve got more work here.” In a way he was right, Modulok was the most famous medic from the Galactic Horde, known across countless galaxies, being a defect medic and a medic for defects, that increased his infamous status. If anyone, any clone was in need of aid they turned to him for help, to say Mod was busy would’ve been an understatement. “Don’t even get me started on those pills that Hordak and Dryl made, I have no idea what they were thinking.”

The Isle Pills. Small capsules of biochemical engineering, synthesized from the ‘infected’ ‘tainted’ plants of Beast Island. That was the way people described the island, there were many theories about the landmass, a lot of scary campfire stories, disputes about whether it even existed. Its existence was apparently confirmed by the Princess of Dryl. Something about backstabbing and being imprisoned on the island, the clones weren’t sure, and they didn’t care much. But the nature of the island had been kept secretive, partially perhaps because the lab-partners studying the location don’t know many thing about it either.

It is also to be noted that they, the pills, weren’t meant for wide spread public use, apparently the Drylian Princess herself was against the production of it. But somehow they got out. Modulok was sure Hordak wasn’t thrilled that his experimental treatment for his defection was being distributed like hot buns at a bakery sale.

The pills have an altering affect on the consumer’s mood and how they perceive reality. Where the island would have enraptured an individual in their own fears and insecurities, somehow those mad-scientists altered the effect of the flora to envelop the individual in numbness and sleep-like paralysis. Hordak no doubt developed the pills as a way of coping with his defection and all the pain that came with it. So the product became quite popular with other defects. Including V, to no surprise. The pills were addictive and seemingly untested, and someone was making a profit off of it no doubt.

“They probably weren’t thinking, that’s what! If you ask me that Hordak guy is insane. All his bad decisions always seem to bit us in the rear.” The infamous Hordak, a general from a previous life, a defect that was sent to the frontlines by Prime personally, some even have speculated that he was meant to be Prime’s next bodily vessel. So in a sick twisted way, that defect saved him. Funny how life works.

Hordak somehow ended up on Etheria, he doesn’t even know how, somehow he amassed a large following and took over half a continent, destroyed a lot in the process. People hate him, his face, and that means of course many weren’t thrilled about hundreds of thousands of clones falling from the sky and finding a home and shelter on Etheria. Honestly, Modulok didn’t like him much either. Vultak unlike Mod actually quite liked Hordak as he served under him once, V trusted him.

“Mod, they would’ve hated us with or without him at the helm, at the end of the day he’s one of us, the whole universe hates us, we gotta stick together.”

“Where’s your ‘screw everything’ mentality gone to?”

V downed his second glass and wiped his mouth, “Washed away and washed down...” V just stared at the now empty glass inspecting it suspiciously as if he was looking if the glass was withholding additional liquid from him. It became obvious that V was thinking, contemplating something, he placed the glass down with a ‘clink’ on the table. “...I’ve been getting the nightmares again. And it’s getting worse, it always does. It’s not long ‘til the nightmares start coming out during the day, while you’re awake.”

Modulok understood, of course he did. He too had went through some harrowing experiences, war is never a good thing for the mind. Mod was an excellent surgeon and doctor, he can do some miracles with scalpels and bandages, he could take care of physical wounds. But there were wounds and scars that he couldn’t heal.

Vultak continued, “Do you believe in karma, Mod?” The question gave the medic pause, he didn’t quite know how to answer that, and he was sure this was one of those questions you don’t answer as V was going to no doubt continue and give his own answer. But the short reply would’ve been ‘no’, Mod didn’t believe in any higher power or any metaphysical concepts such as fate or destiny, it all rather felt far-fetched to him. “That our actions and deeds from our previous lives affect and decides our fate and fortune in the future?

That the future takes roof in the past? You do good, you have good fortune, a good life awaits you. You do bad, you have bad fortune, hell’s coming your way. Revenge and retribution on a cosmic level. It’s the universe’s way of punishing the evil and the wicked, that’s us by the way.

And we do deserve it, don’t we. I mean we’re literally walking, breathing, war machines, our sole purpose was to destroy, perpetuate war and cause all around carnage.

Everyone always wants to blame Hordak for Etheria hating us, but every single one of us has had a part in conquering half the damn universe! Countless worlds either chained or turned to dust, all thanks to us, all of us.

All the terrible things we’ve done, and now what? We just get to have a happy ending? No. No, no, no. Karma’s just getting ready, reeling back, ready to backhand all of us to oblivion. We gotta suffer first... Karma’s balance, karma’s proportional. Which isn’t good for us since we did a lot of wrong-doings. Remember the Siege of Denebria, the War for Primus, the Taking of Trolla, the centuries-long Massacres at Epsilon-19, everyone wants to forget that hellscape death-trap. But we just can’t, some things claw their way back to the surface from below all that brainwashing-sauce.

And that’s just the horrid stuff we remember!... Can you imagine how many lives we’ve forgotten? How many years we’ve lost? How many people we’ve forgotten? That four eyed freak robbed us of everything that made us, us!... All that stuff’s gonna bite us in the back.”

Modulok simply listened, he was used to V’s rants and ravings, but all that... seemed different. Usually V made out everything to be a joke, never taking anything serious, he was a jokester. The nihilistic joker seemed to be subdued, some sort of seriousness, some existential dread on his face. Vultak was genuinely opening up to Mod, and he appreciated that. But it was a shame they had to get drunk first before having conversations like that.

Mod became gradually more worried as V continued with the dialogue, after he paused and just began to stare blankly at his glass again Modulok responded, “I appreciate you opening up, kind of, V, I just wish it didn’t take the influence of alcohol... [sigh] Look, V, I know tomorrow is never certain, and that we all carry the weight of scars on our brittle shoulders... but please believe me when I tell you, that everything will be okay, everything will get better. Don’t drown yourself in poison. The world’s not falling apart, and neither should you.” Mod placed a hand on his brother’s shoulder, trying to comfort his friend.

Vultak simply looked up at his brother, his face blank, he knew Mod meant well, but it didn’t help much to comfort him. And so V hopelessly replied, uttering almost a warning, “Just you wait doc, the sky’s gonna come crashing down on our heads.”

[cruddyborderlandstheories]

so i’d really like to finish my guardian takedown lore analysis, but honestly the game isn’t really fun to play at the moment anymore (even with the health debuffs they added) so I think im going to be taking a break for now because I’m just not having fun anymore.

this game has a lotta mechanical problems i think need to be addressed so im gonna summarize it as bullet points below. I’ll play the new dlc when it drops, but idk if i’ll be on more than that (grinding, end-game stuff) until they make some serious changes. I’ve been playing (near) daily since launch, followed the patch/hotfix notes every single week, and my patience has finally, FINALLY run dry, especially with that really disappointing Phase 1 Patch and then the hotfix this week not adding anything else. What is the balancing team doing??? 😩

tl;dr: FIX THE VAULT HUNTERS!!!!

anyway. That’s all I needed to get outta my system. I might log on to this blog every now and again to post some random shit that pops into my head (probably with regards to my AU), but I’m not going to be actively playing and posting for the time being. Goodbye (for now), and here’s hoping the new DLC is good!! 

guardian takedown only problems:

there’s a lot of waiting around, and sometimes it’s not explicitly stated that you’re waiting for something, so you’ll be lost on what to do next (not sure if that’s a dialogue glitch or not)

the crystal charge insta-death is bull. just. what the hell. at least make it so you just have to start over. killing ur players for failing a “puzzle” that they then have to fight all the way back to is so infuriating.

dying because you fell off a platforming puzzle is also bull. 

i remember playing the first DMC on my playstation in middle school and having a conniption over the part in the observatory(? it’s been a hot minute since I played DMC 1) with the disappearing/invisible platforms. I h a t e jumping puzzles. why are they in a section of the game where death is semi-permanent and a detriment to your teammates. i tried the takedown 2x with friends and both times one friend didn’t make the first big jump to the temple and had to wait for our inevitable deaths. that’s so unfair to them.

there’s absolutely no reason for a boss to have 12 fuckin immunity phases. 4 per health bar with 3 health bars? Who the fuck designed this? *pumps shotgun* i just wanna talk. 

i appreciate a tasteful immunity phase every now and again (the ones in the Valkyrie fight are actually p reasonable), but christ. that is overkill. I don’t mind the main boss fight, since u can end those early through certain actions, but jesus. the mid-boss fight is annoying as hell. you spend more time running from the immunity phases and finding the damn boss than u do actually shooting it.

drop rates are crap, which I guess should be expected given what happened with the Maliwan Takedown and the handful of months it took for them to fix that, but also you think they’d have learned.

in the maliwan takedown there’s a sense of progression thru the facility after you kill each area’s batch of enemies, but in this one it’s... dampened by the crystal charging sequences. you kill all the enemies in an area, press a button, and now you have to kill 3x that number of enemies in the same area, expect you’re just standing there motionless. It’s not fun.

the crystal charging stuff is just not fun in general. standing in a square is not entertaining. it’s worse that it was clearly designed for 3+ players when a majority of people play/grind solo

i gotta admit the boss fights just aren’t as fun as the Maliwan Takedown fights overall. I felt like a real badass fighting Wotan for the first time, but the main boss for this Takedown is kind of a bitch. Wotan’s fight is chaos, there’s so much shit happening at once and you don’t really have time to process everything and I love it. This one is p meh...

This would be fine and I’d 100% not care that much if there weren’t all these OTHER problems

General Issues with the Game

There’s no endgame stuff to play outside of the takedowns. 

I assume they’re working on the first raid given some stuff I found in the Guardian Takedown files, but I really wish they’d keep the seasonal events/areas. They give us the option to disable/enable them while they’re ‘active’, just give us the ability to do it whenever we want.

when i hop on i either run through Athenas (my favorite map), or farm a boss or two. I have all the loot i really need from the maliwan takedown/elsewhere, and the guardian takedown just... isn’t fun atm, so i have nothing to do.

I’ve reset my playthru multiple times to play the main story at m10, but u can only play it (and the dlc) so many times

Mayhem levels and modifiers are a hot m e s s

a majority of the modifiers just aren’t fun to play with

they incorporated like 2-3 fun modifiers (from the community), then added a bunch that straight-up aren’t. I’m fine with the game being more difficult, but at least give us modifiers that make it more entertaining to play at a higher level instead of more annoying. I like the ones that have trade-offs or add new ‘enemies’, but I hate the ones that just straight up reduce your damage output.

a majority of the weapons with the mayhem 10 anointment (scaling) do not work on mayhem 10 (we’ll go more in-depth with this later)

Player Characters (Vault Hunters!!!) are also a hot mess and a lot of problems plaguing them haven’t been fixed SINCE LAUNCH

theyre literally the basis of the game and its balance. why havent you guys fixed them yet. stop adding new content until they’re fixed. no new skill trees until the base 3 trees work ON EVERY CHARACTER.

seriously. Why is amara p much limited to using Phasegrasp. Why does Iron Bear not matter to Moze except to proc anointments. MAKE ALL ACTION SKILLS EQUAL AND HAVE HEFT.

i wrote an essay here about it bc i feel that strongly about this

SERIOUSLY FIXING UR VAULT HUNTERS WILL MAKE BALANCING SO MUCH EASIER PLEASE IM BEGGING YOU THEY ARE THE BASE OF UR BALANCING WOES

ZANE IS STILL UNUSABLE WITHOUT THE SEEIN’ DEAD CLASS MOD!!!!!!!!!!!

MOZE IS SCREWED BC HER DAMAGE IS TOO RELIANT ON ASE ANOINTMENTS!!

AMARA DOESN’T HAVE A FUCKING MELEE BUILD AS THE ADVERTISED MELEE CHARACTER???

FL4K’S HEADCOUNT SKILL IS S T I L L BROKEN EVER SINCE THE RELEASE OF THE MALIWAN TAKEDOWN

ARE YOU GUYS LISTENING TO THE COMMUNITY *PLEASEEEEEEE*

BUFF AND FIX THE GODDAMN VAULT HUNTERS

Anointments were a mistake. Damage end-game is wayyyy too reliant on them

anoints should have a maximum of, like, a 20% damage bonus. the damage necessary to kill enemies *should be coming from the VHs themselves*. i don’t care if you have to revamp every single Vault Hunter’s skill trees and buff them all by 9000%. THEY DESERVE IT AT THIS POINT

at the moment in m10 there really isn’t much build diversity *even between Vault Hunters*. We’re all using the same 5 guns (OPQ System. Kaoson. idk. fuckin brainstormer? is that still a thing? jesus fuck) with the same 3 anointments (100% on ASE, cryo while SNTL, and 300% while 90%).

you want to diversify builds like you said during the gameplay reveal???? you want our choice in Vault Hunter to actually fuckin matter???? FIX THEM!!!! THEY SHOULD BE ABLE TO DEAL DAMAGE WITHOUT STUPID POWERFUL LEGENDARIES AND ANOINTMENTS!!!

Anoints also shouldn’t be common. At all. They should be, like, Pearl rarity. To let that happen, their damage needs to be tuned way the fuck down (again, 20ish % bonus MAX) and ALL ANOINTS NEED TO BE USEFUL IN SOME WAY

NOBODY IS GOING TO USE THE AIRBORNE OR SLIDING ANOINTMENTS JUST REMOVE THEM ALREADY AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

obviously these changes can’t happen because they fucked up and buckled down with everything being anointed in m10, but still

imagine a world where the VHs actually did damage on their own without anointments and the damage buff from them was just an incentive to grind for the 100% perfect weapon and NOT A REQUIREMENT TO DEAL DAMAGE

>:(

A majority of gear is borderline worthless at M10

I’m fine with the difficulty of M10, i should let it be known. The enemy health isn’t really the problem IF ALL GUNS ACTED THE SAME AS THE OPQ SYSTEM

ffs.

you know, if you fixed ur vault hunters so they all did damage with just purple weapons (abt the same damage as legendaries w/o special effects) and removed the anointment requirement from late-game play, balancing your guns would be sooo much easier. you know. just saying.

right now only 10% (im being generous) of guns in the game are viable. 90% are worthless. We need AT LEAST 60-70% viable at M10. WHERE IS MY BUILD DIVERSITY. WHY ARE ALL LEGENDARIES NOW JUST “HEY THIS GUN IS STRONGER THAN THE LAST 4 WE RELEASED. HAVE FUN”

how to fix this problem? do as above: BUFF YOUR PLAYER CHARACTERS. MAKE ANOINTMENTS LESS STRONG.

then, at least the 10% already strong weapons would be stupid strong and OP as fuck, BUT AT LEAST WE COULD HAVE BUILD VARIETY!!! I don’t care if other people are dummy strong one-shotting everything in sight. I don’t! so long as they don’t play with me, I couldn’t care less!!! I want to be able to play with the unique, interesting legendaries. instead of the OPQ System. which, by the way, I dislike compared to the normal Q-System. let me use the frozen heart shield and the infiltrator mod. I don’t wanna be chained to the Seein’ Dead anymore :(

honestly at this point im starting to think removing slag was a mistake bc then at least we could use guns that aren’t solely damage-based guns. you know how fucked up you’ve got me that im thinking maybe slag wouldn’t be so bad this time around??? YOU GOT ME FUCKED UP B A D.

FIX THE GAME

IM TAKING A BREAK

MAYBE I’LL BE LESS UPSET WHEN I COME BACK FOR THE DLC BUT HOT. DIGGITY. SHIT.

[ohmyronpa-imagines]

ok so- can you do a continuation of the Kokichi and kaede angst where they have to do the project at Kaede’s house again... and Kokichi just fines out ab how she was just cutting herself- and so Kaede just has a full blown breakdown... But her dad hears and screams at Kaede for being a “slut”. YEESH- I’m really torturing Kaede 😬😬😬😬

Well, here we are. The 5th installment of the Kaede Angst Saga. Let’s do this. I also replaced the cutting with self inflicted asphyxiation, hope you don’t mind.- Mod Hajime

TW- Self Asphyxiation, Self Harm, Language (Proceed with Caution under the cut)

After seeing Kaede’s dysfunctional mother, Kaede’s panic, and then her kicking him out of the house, Kokichi couldn’t sleep.

He went back to the dorms and stayed awake the whole night, plagued by thoughts of Kaede.

Should he have left? Did Kaede want him to follow her when she ran off? Was he supposed to stay and comfort her?

He didn’t know what to do.

Kokichi realized he’d have to go back to Kaede’s house, one he left his bag there, and the other, they had to finish working on their project.

Kokichi could barely feel any of his senses. He was so tired after not sleeping the whole night, and experiencing the hell that was Kaede’s house.

He had to wonder if Shuichi was able to sleep after going to Kaede’s house.

He yawned obnoxiously loud as he walked into class, earning a glare from Maki, what was her damage anyways?

He took note that Kaede’s seat was empty, Kokichi had no idea why this made him so nervous.

A few minutes after class started, Kaede opened the door and took her seat, a fake smile plastered on her face. By now Kokichi recognised her fake smile, it was so obviously fake it hurt.

After class, Kaede attempted to leave as quickly as possible, but Kokichi quickly latched onto her.

“Akamatsu-Chan! We gotta do our work together, remember? You do remember, right?!”

Kaede’s smile strained for a bit before returning, she didn’t say a thing.

“WAHHHHH!!! SHE FORGOT MEEEE!!!” Kokichi cried, Kaede winced and she lowered herself to whisper to him, “I know you want to go to my house again, and we kind of have to, but please, be quiet.” 

Kokichi’s tears quickly disappeared, “Okay! I’ll be quiet!” Kokichi started humming to himself as he walked next to Kaede.

The two arrived at her house sooner than Kaede would have liked, but she quickly opened the door and ran to her room with Kokichi.

She took a few breaths and quickly got to work with Kokichi by her side. He was being quiet, remembering what happened last time with Kaede’s mom. 

Kaede moved her shoulders and Kokichi couldn’t help but gasp as he saw purple, red, yellow, and even black colored bruises covering Kaede’s neck. He could see imprints of Kaede shaped hands on her neck too.

“W-What are those?” Kokichi was praying to whatever divine force was up there that it was just makeup.

“Huh?” Kaede turned to Kokichi and realized what he was staring at. She’d been wearing turtlenecks for a while and saw her collar had slipped. She gasped and felt her eyes sting with tears, Kokichi wasn’t supposed to see those.

She got up from her chair and ran into her washroom, the tears wouldn’t stop coming. She instinctively wrapped her hands around her throat and squeezed, attempting to stop the sounds coming from her throat involuntarily. She couldn’t breathe and it made her head feel light and airy.

She’d started to develop this habit because all she needed was her hands to make some of the pain stop. She knew she could die from it, but that didn’t matter to her.

Her vision was starting to blur, she smiled, knowing she would black out for at least a few good seconds.

She felt darkness ready to envelop her until her hands were forced away from her neck. She opened her eyes, blinking to figure out what had happened.

Her eyes finally focused to see Kokichi standing in front of her, his face had tears rolling down as he stifled his cries, “What the hell, Akamatsu? Are you trying to die?” Kaede quickly shook her head, “No! Of course not!”

Kokichi growled, “Then why are you choking yourself? Don’t you realize how fucking terrified I was when I saw you on the ground with your hand on your neck you could have died!”

Kaede bit her lip and looked at the ground, she could look Kokichi in the eyes right now, “Dammit, Kaede! I care! I care about you!”

The dam broke.

Kaede threw herself at Kokichi and latched onto him, she wailed into his arms.

Kokichi couldn’t stop his own tears either. He grabbed onto Kaede and sobbed into her shoulder. 

All of a sudden there was a bang heard from the other side of the wall, “Kaede! Shut the fuck up! I don’t need to hear you crying, you slut!”

Kokichi gasped as Kaede squeezed him into her arms tighter, she started crying even harder.

That voice definitely wasn’t her mom, so it might have been her dad. Great, Kokichi thought. This family just couldn’t live without being any more dysfunctional, could it?

At least she wasn’t choking herself though.

Kokichi couldn’t tell how much time had passed since he’d been holding onto Kaede, but it hadn’t been less than an hour. Kaede’s cries had softened down to small whimpers and sniffles now.

Kokichi’s scarf was ruined, but he couldn’t bring himself to care about that right now. He was focused on Kaede, and only Kaede right now.

“How are you feeling now?”

Kaede wiped away some of her tears before answering, “A little better, I guess. Thank you, Ouma.”

He gave her a real smile before getting up from his spot on the floor, “Should I stay over?”

Kaede looked like she was processing what he’d said, “Sure. It’s not like my parents would care anyways.” She gave him an awkward smile, it looked nothing like the fake one she wore at school.

Kokichi grabbed her hand and tried to pull her up from the ground, Kaede got up and they left the bathroom to lock themselves in Kaede’s room for the night.

The door closed and Kokichi shouted, “Sleepover!” Kaede laughed and smiled at the ground before grabbing the papers they needed to finish for the project.

“We can’t fail this, come on.”

Normally Kokichi would complain about the work, but it felt right to work with Kaede.

Kaede Angst Saga [1] [2] [3] [4] [Here!]

[the-peak-of-despair]

Toko Fukawa x Reader - prompts #86, #98

whateverthe said: Been in my mind for a while but i saw your angst prompts open and was like lets go ham |Toko having a fight with Reader but because toko cant handle herself very well she ends up kinda crumbling and leaving because she doesn't know how to fully defend herself even though you were in the wrong and sho has to go get you to to talk when shes in control cause although SHES not in love with you toko is, [Promts 86 , 98 ] ( i just find no platonic sho x toko :( where sho protects her or sum ]

I loved this idea! It’s very cool. I feel like some people don’t really know that Syo formed in Toko’s system in order to protect her, due to tramua. 

I used what information I know and do have on DID writing this, please let me know if I need to change anything! Not as angsty as the others, but I’m proud of it, considering I’m posting at 8 in the fucking morning-

Enjoy! -Mod Akane

“There’s gotta be a way to fix you, Toko!” 

“Wh-Who told you I needed fixing!? A-And why would you.. B-believe them!?” Toko yells angrily. 

“Look at yourself in a mirror, Toko!” (Y/N) shouts, causing their girlfriend to flinch from the volume, the gesture, the pure meaning. 

“I-I’m doing f-fine!” She tries to retaliate. Toko’s mind is racing, because she knows she’s right, and fine isn’t the right word but ‘fixing’ isn’t either. 

“No, you are not!” (Y/N) argues. “You are a wreck, Toko! You share a split personality with a fucking serial killer!” 

“I-It's not like I have control over her!” Toko shouts back. She’s shouting, but it looks like she’s starting to dissociate and distance herself slowly. “I-It’s not my fault..” 

“I know it’s not your fault, Toko.” (Y/N) says, wanting to scream again because why won’t she fucking listen, but withholding the frustration. “But that doesn’t change that something is wrong and needs to be fixed!”

“You’re not listening to me!” Toko shouts. “I-I-” She starts yanking on her hair, though her braids had fallen out long after she had been caught in Towa City, the habit never changed. “Just shut up! Shut up!” Toko screams, and she turns and begins to head out a door. 

“Where are you going?!” (Y/N) shouts.

“To go see Komaru!” Toko shouts. And the door doesn’t slam, but it felt like she wanted it to.

(Y/N) takes a few breaths, the air is still heated even as they’re by themselves now.

“FUCK!”

They inhale and exhale once more, knowing they need to calm down. Maybe they’d go sit outside. Try and figure out what to say when Toko gets back.

(Y/N) sighed, leaning back as they sat on the rooftop to their apartment building, staring up at a still ever-red sky. Toko had been gone for a while, and they hadn’t even seen her enter the building again. Figured she was upset, since everything flew off the handle.

“You know…” The person who began speaking halts. “You don’t seem to listen to Toko much.” (Y/N) certainly recognized that annoying voice. It was Syo. Of course. Just the person they needed to see. Full sarcasm.

“Don’t act like you care.” (Y/N) scoffs. “I know how much you wanna slit my throat.” They sit up, sighing as they see Syo sitting with her legs dangling over the edge of the rooftop, without a care in the world as her tongue hangs out. 

“I know!” She turns and smiles at (Y/N). “But I care about Toko.” Her smile fades.

“Last I heard, you two can’t tolerate each other.” (Y/N) looks away from her, watching the recovering city below.

“Did you tolerate your siblings when you were younger? Or, like, cousins?” Syo asks sarcastically. Her serious tone was so unfamiliar. “Sure, she’s lame, and a spaz, we don’t even share a memory, and whatever! But I’m meant to protect her.” 

(Y/N) raises a brow. “Protect her? You murder people.” 

“Kyahah, that’s not relevant!” She laughs. “You don't know how dissociative identity disorder works, huh? Ugh, that’s a mouthful!”

“Not exactly.” (Y/N) sighs. “Toko never told me details.” 

“I exist to protect her. That’s why I’m around!” Syo giggles. “Trauma forms people like me. People like me are stuck takin’ care of lame-o’s like Toko!”

“So you’re around cause Toko had trauma?” (Y/N) asks.

“Ugh, how clear can I make it? Yes!” Syo shouts. “There’s no fixin’ us, no gettin’ rid of me! It’s the only reason Toko’s still around, you know!” (Y/N) thinks for a second. And then they realize what Syo means by that.. “O-Oh.. my god.” 

“Yeahahah!” She laughs. “You’ve dug your own grave.” “..So how do you.. Know all this?” (Y/N) asks more slowly, careful as they process the new information Syo provides.

“We don’t exactly share a memory.” She says. “But we share a headspace. So there’s a general communication, Toko just isn’t up for communication!”

(Y/N) forces a small laugh. “That sounds like Toko, alright..”

“..How would you know?”

“Huh?” Syo pauses, before looking at them. “You don’t listen to her.” 

“..I’m trying my best.” (Y/N) states.

“Had you not been, and had she not loved you,” Syo begins to laugh- “I would’ve sliced ya’ like meat by now!” She grins. “But Toko loves you. So you should figure out a way to love her back.”

[chanagun]

Soft Hearts Electric Souls

Fandom: Why R U the Series Pairing: Saifah/Zon

Summary:

The first time Zon ended up in the cramped tattoo parlor, it was because of his friends' oh-so-clever dare to get something pierced. The rest of his visits definitely didn’t have anything to do with the (handsome) piercing artist.

AO3 

——

Saifah actually heard the group before seeing them. 

Day was on desk duty for the hour, so Saifah had been upstairs, going back and forth between chairs and doing his best to crack jokes and distract the clients as Tutor and Hwahwa created artwork on their skin. 

Tutor had a regular client, adding another chunk to his growing sleeve and Hwahwa worked on a walk-in, her classic script stretching across the client’s collarbone. Saifah loved watching his friends in their element. 

Which was disrupted, as mentioned, by the sound of the chime on the door followed by what sounded like fifteen dudes all laughing and talking over each other. Saifah frowned slightly before excusing himself from Tutor’s booth to help Day with the assumed influx of customers. 

Their shop was an odd set up, being in a row of other squeezed-together buildings in a busy college town. Patrons were greeted immediately in the waiting room with pieces of tattered furniture they haven’t had the heart to replace and the reception desk against the stairs. The piercing station was a back office they gutted and converted. They didn't have a second floor as much as they had a loft that they macgyvered into the sterile tattoo booths, so everything was quite open; it wasn’t ideal but it was theirs. They put a lot of work into it and it was definitely a source of pride. 

The openness of their shop also helped with gaging the customers from afar.

To his surprise, as he walked down the wooden stairs, he found that the bold entrance noise came from only five men. All of them looked up expectantly at him as he heard Day explain that Saifah was their piercer while pointing up at him. 

Four of the guys looked at him with shit-eating grins and one looked at him with absolute terror. Saifah knew how he looked outwardly; he had a dozen holes in his ears and a few in his face and he had tattoos peeking out from everywhere his shirt didn’t quite reach. His favorite, a painted bat with wings outstretched ( Kerivoula picta , Tutor would remind him after spending diligent hours on it) decorated his neck with a shocking burst of color and a sharp snarl at anyone shorter than him. Saifah watched the one man visibly gulp when he finally joined Day at the counter and he couldn’t help the half smile form on his lips.

“Good evening, gentlemen,” Saifah started, “I heard my services were needed?” The one man was not looking him in the eye, but instead directly at his throat. Saifah couldn’t tell for sure, but it seemed like he was shaking in his metaphorical boots. 

One of his friends slapped his shoulder, making him jump a mile, before saying “Our Zon here would like to get his ears pierced!” 

“Oi, Junior-“ the guy, Zon, snapped as he elbowed his friend in the gut. 

“Yeah, he looks super excited to do that,” Saifah replied easily.

“I am!” Zon quipped adamantly.

Saifah knew he was being a prick, but couldn’t help it as he raised an eyebrow and let out an unimpressed chuckle. “Sure. Anyone else getting stabbed today?” He asked the rest of the guys in the same cocky tone and received negative murmurs in response. “Righto, come on back Mr. Zon and I’ll set everything up.” To which he received a tight nod from Zon and stifled laughter from the rest. 

Saifah motioned Zon to follow him to his station but paused when the whole hoard of men started coming too. “Ah, the love fest is really cute but the room is not that big, guys,” Saifah explained.

“I can come by myself,” Zon said, and sent a sharp glare at each of his friends, “they just want to see me suffer anyway.” Saifah let out a chuckle, and continued to the back, now only being followed by one. Saifah motioned to the cushioned stool in the middle of the room and Zon sat obediently. 

“First things first Mr. Zon, we have to get some paperwork done,” Saifah explained, grabbing one of the clipboards, “and I hope you have your ID on you or else this’ll be pretty embarrassing.” 

“Of course I have my ID,” Zon huffed in response before pulling out his wallet. Saifah let Zon hold it up to his face as he recorded his necessary details on the paper.

“Alright, so you gotta read all these bullet points and initial each line on the left here,” Saifah told him, turning the clipboard around and handing him the pen, “let me know if you have any questions, but I’m going to get the station ready.” 

“This is a lot more … official than I thought,” Zon mumbed, making Saifah pause.

“It is surprising to some people that we are a legitimate business,” Saifah replied even though Hwahwa’s voice nagged in this head about not being so sarcastic with customers. Saifah risked a glance at the guy.

He was frowning, sitting the paperwork with his initials before saying, “That’s not what I meant, I just didn’t actually know what to expect.” He held out the clipboard to hand back to Saifah. 

He took it, but kept a strong gaze on Zon. “Why are you here, dude? You don’t seem well-informed, nor excited to be getting this done.” 

Zon cleared his throat and shifted uncomfortably in his seat. “My friends dared me. I don’t want to seem weak or anything,” he explained in a huff. 

Saifah considered his words. He placed the clipboard back down and pulled up his own stool to sit right in front of Zon. The action seemed to unsettle Zon more, but that didn’t deter Saifah. “Are you sure you actually want to? Listen, the basis of this business is all ‘fight the man, rebell, mod your bod’ and everything but it’s about living for yourself, too. You think my parents wanted me to open a tattoo shop with my hooligan friends?” Zon laughed lightly at his statement, “I can scare your friends off if you really don’t want this, man. I’ve heard I’m intimidating.” 

Zon cocked his head to the side, a smile still faint on his lips. “Nah, you’re just tall,” he joked, “Clearly you’re a softie or else you would have just stabbed me and taken my money.” Saifah snorted at that. “And I… I still want the piercings. Not for my friends’ benefit, I’ve just actually wanted to get them for a while. Needles aren’t really my favorite thing but they look cool.”

“I bet I’m the coolest person you’ve ever seen then, huh?” Saifah asked, wiggling his eyebrows, which just made Zon roll his eyes. “So, studs or rings?” 

“What do you suggest?” 

Saifah hummed, “Studs. Rings are cool but it’s harder to heal when you’re pierced with rings. Also, in my opinion, captive beads suck.” 

“Studs it is then,” Zon replied. 

Saifah flashed a smile before turning back to his counter. He could feel that Zon was more at ease so he popped on some gloves and disinfected his tray. He collected his sterile supplies before turning back around. “I’m going to mark your ears and you can tell me if you like the placement.” Zon just nodded. 

The rest of the process came easily to Saifah, my muscle memory taking over. Zon gasped during the first but only winced for the second. 

“Already done! You did great.”

“Thanks,” Zon replied, smiling into the hand mirror. 

“You can head back up to the front desk and Day can ring you up. Pleasure doing business with you, Zon,” Saifah told him as he worked to clean his station up again. He couldn’t help but watch him go.

.

.

Zon took a deep breath. He could do this. He did it before and he could do it again. 

He stood outside the tattoo parlor, under the dark green awning to escape the blazing sun, pumping himself up to go inside. With no friends forcing him, it was taking longer than it should. 

He knew what to expect this time, and that was making it even harder than before. Not piercing pain wise, but tall, handsome piercer wise. That wasn’t why he was going back, obviously. He just kind of really dug his earrings and the piercer, Saifah, had had a really cool piercing in his eyebrow and Zon couldn’t seem to get it out of his head. 

He wanted to at least ask Saifah what he thought about getting one himself. His feet just weren’t cooperating. 

Zon jumped out of his train of thought when his phone chimed in his pocket. He let out a breath, glad to be out of his head when he pulled up the text. Zol had sent him a message asking him what he wanted for dinner, since she was going out shopping with their mom. He smiled typing out his reply and finally felt back in the right mindset to go inside.

He wasn’t expecting to see an upside-down Saifah laying (incorrectly) on the couch, strumming apparently absentmindedly on an acoustic guitar. 

“Um, hello?” 

Saifah glances towards the door, squinting his eyes at Zon. “Ah!” He exclaimed before placing the guitar next to him on the couch. “Welcome back.” Zon raised an eyebrow in surprise, not expecting the piercer to remember him at all. “Is everything healing okay?”

“Oh, um, yeah,” he replied, his hand instinctively going to his neck, just below his ear (where he’d learned to stop himself from touching and irritating his piercings). “I was actually wondering if I could get, like, a consultation for another.” 

Saifah raised his brow (Zon assumed, it was hard to tell from upside down) in surprise before somehow gracefully flipping over to stand (Zon pointedly tried not to look when his shirt rode up and- are those nipple piercings ?) and greeted Zon for real. “What were you thinking?”

Zon, who was definitely not flustered, swallowed hard and met his gaze, “I really like your…” he said, pointing at his own eyebrow.

“Ah,”Saifah smiled, “an eyebrow piercing. It was one of my first ones,” he reached a hand out towards Zon’s face but stopped short, “Do you mind if I?” Zon shook his head no, letting Saifah continue his movement. His fingers were gentle against Zon’s face, just lightly touching the skin above his brow, before giving him a little pinch. 

“Hey!” 

“Sorry! Just seeing if you can deal with the pain,” he explained.

“I wasn’t ready! And you know I don’t care if it hurts,” Zon huffed in response, making Saifah grin again. 

“Okay, okay,” he said with his hands up in surrender, “if you’re interested, I think you have the perfect browline for a horizontal instead of a vertical. I’ll knock some off the price if you let me do that instead,” he finished, punctuated with another toothy smile.

Zon bit his lip before answering, “Can you show me what that would look like?” 

Saifah nodded excitedly before leading Zon to the front desk and pulling both stools up to the laptop. They spent ten minutes, shoulder to shoulder, sitting at the desk, Saifah pulling up different images for Zon to consider. Within two minutes Zon had decided he loved it, but he couldn’t stop himself from watching Saifah excitedly find new ones to show him. 

“What do you think?” 

Zon looked up, met with Saifah’s bright eyes, and he couldn’t help smile. “Yeah, dude it looks sick. I’m down for it.” 

Saifah smiles so brightly in response, his eyes almost closed. And Zon could feel his heart in his throat, thinking cute , how was this man covered in tattoos and piercings ( including nipple piercings his mind supplied) so cute ?

Zon quickly found himself back on the same cushioned stool in the back room as his first visit, going through paperwork with Saifah. He felt more at ease the second time around. 

Like Saifah could read his mind, he stated, “you seem much more chill this time. Is it because you know what to expect or because your friends aren’t here this time?” he asked, voice light, presumably so Zon knew he was mostly joking around.

“A mix of both I guess. My friends are great, but… sometimes they’re not,” he chuckled. 

“I think that’s true for most friends,” Saifah agreed, “mine have been on lunch break for like two hours at this point,” he said while glancing at his wrist. His tone wasn’t unfriendly, rather it seemed fond. “Tutor has the day off, since he and his boyfriend work at the foodbank on Thursdays, but Hwahwa and Day, the other artists, think they’re so slick.”

Zon furrowed his brow, “you’re the only one here?” 

Saifah nodded, “they didn’t have any appointments scheduled until the evening so I’m sure they thought their sneaky secret date would go unnoticed. But I’ve got a keen eye.”

Zon chuckled at that, “the most keen eye if they thought you wouldn’t notice being left alone in the shop.”

“Oh, he’s cracking jokes! Careful, try and remember who is stabbing who today, my Zon.” Saifah teased. 

A sudden wave of heat hit Zon- from his neck to the tips of his ears. He scrambled, trying to  come up with a retort to hide his fluster, but Saifah took it in stride, turning to sanitize his station. He hummed a familiar tune that Zon couldn’t exactly place, but he was kind of mesmerized. Saifah was gentle and yet so diligent with his work.He’d done a bit more research for this visit and he read plenty of horror stories online about dirty shops and artists that didn’t care, so he was glad his friends just happened to stumble upon Saifah’s shop. 

“Ready?” Saifah asked, tone low, and genuine , Zon noted. 

He nodded, a lazy smile finding its place on his face. Saifah returned the grin and took the clean marker with a gloved hand. Zon relaxed at the familiar steps and let Saifah do what he clearly knew how to do best. 

Needless to say, it hurt quite a bit more than his ears.

“Tears are normal, you know,” Saifah reassured as he handed Zon a tissue,  “It’s close to your eye, so it’s a natural reaction. Just in case you were still worried about seeming weak or something, don’t be,” he clarified. “On a completely unrelated note, I cried like a baby when I got the tattoo on my neck,” he pointed at the (frankly terrifying) bat on his throat, “and when I got the one on my hip. And the one that wraps around my foot, oh my god-”

“Okay, okay,” Zon said, laughing lightly despite the well of tears in his eyes. He sniffed, “Thank you.” He wanted to say more; more about his kindness, more about toxic masculinity, more about anything but Saifah handed him the hand mirror then. “Wow.”

“Wow as in what a great job it looks fantastic or wow as in this is terrible and I’m going to slash your tires as soon as I’m out of here?”

“Has that happened?”

“Of course not! I’m very talented.” Zon laughed, still admiring the work. “Wow as in I didn’t think it would make me look this… hot?”

His sentiment seemed to tickle Saifah, causing him to let out a laugh too. “I can confirm, you definitely look hot.”

Zon coughed, seemingly choking on nothing before hurriedly asking, “so how much do I owe you?”

.

.

“We should start some sort of punch card system.” Saifah peeked up from his guitar, ready to shoot Tutor a skeptical look, but he continued, “I think your guy with the ‘eyebrows for days’ would appreciate it, since he’s back. Again.”

“What?”

Tutor didn’t answer, just smiled his devilish grin as the door chimed and a person came into the shop. Saifah whipped his attention to the door, cracking his neck in the process.

Zon let out a snort, “don’t hurt yourself, geez,” he joked. The midday sun glinted off the still somewhat fresh barbell in his eyebrow and Saifah could faint.  

“Welcome!” Tutor called from the desk, “how can we help you today?”

“Oh, um,” he faltered, eyes shifting from Tutor to Saifah, back to Tutor, “I wanted to get a piercing.”

“Ah, so Saifah and I are both certified for piercings-”

“Tutor, I can take care of him,” Saifah said, straining. Evil. His best friend was evil. Saifah quickly led Zon to the counter, glad to see that smile return to his face. “Didn’t Hwahwa say she may need some help with her back piece client?” 

“Oh how could I forget!” Tutor overdramatically replied before rushing to the base of the stairs, “and please consider those punch cards, dude!” he called as he took two steps at a time. 

“Is he… usually like that?”

“Unfortunately,” Saifah replied, immediately followed by a burst of laughter from Hwahwa and Tutor upstairs. He grimaced.

“Anyway! How are you?” Zon asked with a curious smile and (that goddamn) eyebrow quirked. 

“I’ve been pretty good,” Saifah started, “I was beginning to wonder if my favorite customer was ever going to show back up again, so I was slightly down in the dumps for a bit.” “Oh? So you do get regulars,” he paused, seemingly considering this, “Did they come around?” Saifah nodded excitedly, making Zon’s smile even brighter, “That’s great! What did they get done?”

“I don’t know. What were you looking to get done today?”

Saifah was met with the biggest eye roll he’s ever seen, so he laughed. “Seriously, what are you interested in?”

“Ah, I was actually going to see what you thought would look good,” he answered quickly, looking down at the counter. Saifah raised an eyebrow but he couldn’t help it. He also pointedly ignored the snickering from the top of the stairs.

“Wait, so you didn’t have anything in mind? You wanted to know… what I think would look good?”

“I find it hard to believe no one has ever asked for your professional opinion before, dude,” Zon said, tips of his ears turning pink. 

“I… I mean-“

“Anyway, I did do research, I know that dermals aren’t for me, but otherwise I wanted your expertise,” Zon babbled, as Saifah still didn't quite know what to say, “I’ve just really liked how I’ve looked recently and I like how I’ve been more confident and I think you have a bit to do with that, so ,” he took a breath, “what do you think?”

Saifah must have been gaping. He didn’t hear anything from upstairs either; he wasn’t sure what that meant. Zon still wasn’t looking at him. He closed his dumb mouth and cleared his throat. 

“Well, I guess, in my expert opinion,” he started, “I think… you had that confidence in you somewhere already. I just poked some holes in your already very nice looking face.” Saifah caught the edge of Zon’s smile, still mostly hidden from his view. “As for a recommendation, I’d say anything but a lip ring.”

“Oh?” Zon let his gaze drift back up, “why is that?”

“You can’t kiss anyone while it heals,” Saifah answered with a toothy grin. Zon responded by weakly punching him in the arm. 

“Do you always hit on your clients like this?”

“No, just my favorite one. I’m hoping it’ll make him stick around.”

“Tell him about the punch cards!” was yelled from the top of the stairs.

 Saifah ended up giving Zon a helix piercing somewhere in between chasing Tutor out of the building, buying Zon lunch, and a few kisses (sans lip ring).