#now I realise the problems and the nicer ships bUT

[fanfic-gremlin-ft-trauma]

mai and zuko bestieism is so important to me

(ids in alt)

[thespianinthebackcorner]

so in a reblog of a mutual's post I said this

And I realised I also need a definite backup copy of said comments, since Ao3's comment layout makes it impossible to read on mobile.

So I'm copypasting the whole thing here under the cut. Long post incoming. its from this fic btw

Thespian: "PLEASE just let me gush about them for a moment I BEG" absolutely go off author your Rhinealice fics are beauty and perfection I can return with some of my own headcanons if you like

Purplesan: Thank you so very much! That means a lot >< and yes PLEASE do, I'm very curious to hear about them! :O

Thespian: Thank you 😊 and you deserve the praise you're a great writer. Anyway I was headcanoning yesterday that Rhinedottir is actually really nice at heart but the Cataclysm kinda closed her up (which is why she raised Albedo the way she did) and ever since she let go of him Alice has tracked her down every now and then to make sure she's healing and attempts to convince her to live in Mondstadt with her family. So basically she puts on a front of being cold an calculating n stuff but she's just. A regular person who's slightly deranged whenever Alice is around cause she knows she can trust her gf with herself. :)

Purplesan: Thank you so much! Asdfghjkl your headcanons about Rhinedottir are very similar to my own, I absolutely love that. While I do think Rhine has always been somewhat analytical and more "knowledge over emotions", I completely agree that the Cataclysm made her even more closed off. She used to be nicer and kinder, but trauma makes her feel like she isn't allowed to be/cannot afford to be. (Also why she eventually lets Albedo go because "she has nothing left to teach him" - he allowed himself to feel emotions, and she feels like he surpassed her in that. So she doesn't want to (accidentally) stop him from feeling those things).

And Alice looking after her and checking up on her is so!!! YES. Just yes. Around most people she just calmly explains her research and work, but around Alice?? Unhinged over-excited researcher who wants to show their partner their work like birds showing off pretty rocks. I always headcanon Alice's absence and adventuring as her looking for her emotionally constipated wife who is afraid of commitment :p

THANK YOU VERY MUCH for sharing your headcanons! I absolutely love them and am so happy to see someone else making headcanons about this ship. Thank you! <3

Thespian: It's not a problem at all :D I love sharing headcanons especially with rarepairs like this. Also the thing about Rhine letting Albedo go cause he's started feeling and she doesn't wanna stop him??? Precious mom moment truly. Especially since she sent him to ALICE who's the PERFECT PERSON to help him emotionally develop... My heart 😭 I swear the moment she called her creations her children in that one cutscene I just began thinking like wait. What if she's actually a mom underneath that and just let her negative traits get the better of her to emotionally survive after the Cataclysm. And now she doesn't trust herself with emotions and she doesn't really know how to properly raise a child so she sent him to Alice.

Thank you for having such a nice reaction to all my comments, I'm sorry I'm just dumping them on you but I love talking... :) sorry 😅

Purplesan: YES! They do not get the attention they deserve (yet) so getting to share these headcanons and theories is great. Rhine is a better mom than she herself (and others) give her credit for >< she definitely made mistakes and isn't a great mom per se...but she DOES consider herself one and calls her creations her children, which is a big step in the right direction.

I feel like she'd often go "what would Alice do in this situation" since to her Alice is a better example of a mother. And of course she trusts Alice to look after Albedo for her and teach him about emotions. The typical example of a parent who knows she isn't great at parenting but wants the best for her kids anyway *sobs*

Not at all! You have absolutely nothing to apologize for. Talking about this rarepair brings me a lot of joy, so it actually makes me very happy that you're thinking about them and sharing ideas <33 dump away :p I promise I enjoy it!

Thespian: Thank you!!! Knowing you enjoy my ramblings does warm my heart :)

Rhine going "what would Alice do" is SO AAA that's amazing. I can just imagine little Albedo's curiosity getting him into... Well, curious situations, and Rhine just has to look at this through the mum lense cause if she doesn't she'll get so confused as to how he wound up there 😂 using her bestie as a role model? Priceless and also 100% bestie behaviour. Actually this does fit with a little shoobity doobity I came up with a while back where little Albedo tried to fit back in his old lab bottle and got in fine but couldn't get out... Ended up breaking the thing and Rhine was just standing there like "genuinely wtf did I witness you do why on EARTH" until she had to get him away from the broken glass 😂 I imagine little Albedo as a bit of a pudgy baby so Alice always wanted to hug him :)

Purplesan: They absolutely do!

Rhine will never admit it out loud, but she thinks Alice is great :p I can just see little kid Rhine observing the other kids at the playground and being unimpressed...until Alice barges in Lilo and Stitch-style blowing something up, and Rhine just goes "that one. I want that one as my friend", lmao.

YOUR SHOOBITY DOOBITY IS A MASTERPIECE I TELL YOU. The mental image of that happening is hilarious, oh my gosh. Curious little baby Albedo would probably get up to all kinds of mischief, and while on the one hand Rhine is punching the air like "heck yeah curious alchemist gene", she's also like "oh gods no, curious alchemist gene...he's going to hurt himself". While Albedo has to learn to discover the world around him in a safe way, Rhinedottir has to learn that little children have the survival skills of...well, children. (And of course, judge him a little in the process because W H Y.)

And I wholeheartedly agree with Alice finding pudgy baby Albedo being irresistible to hug!! She has so much love to give that kid. (And so much teasing for Rhine :p )

Thespian: Omg yes. Rhine just watching other kids around her be extremely unimpressive (I have this hc that Dainslief, Chlothar and Halfdan were her cousins and she just grew up watching them be obedient little Alberich boys) and then Alice just barges in at some point breaking stuff and Rhine is like. you. 🫵 you're the good one. And Alice kinda returns the favour by doing an extrovert adoption and just taking in Rhine as her new bestie.

I can just imagine Rhine not being able to leave toddler Albedo alone because if she does his curiosity will get him into a bad situation... Also thank you, I remember in the original shoobity doobity he did actually get hurt and ended up having little scars on his hips from the glass that he still has 😊 everyone has something left over from childhood injuries and I'll be damned if I leave Albedo without any. I can just IMAGINE Rhine having to pull him away from whatever weird shit they had down there and teaching him over and over again how to inspect it safely instead of just doing what kids to and shoving it in his mouth... Lmao 😂

Purplesan: She would absolutely HATE obedient and mindless kids. Mischief and curiosity is her jam :p I absolutely love your headcanon about them being her cousins as well, omg. A friend of mine also came up with a storyline about her and Dainsleif's parents having an agreement/arranged marriage thing going on (and both of them hating the thought of it, for obvious reasons. Guess that marriage not happening was the one good thing to come out of the Cataclysm XD). But Dainsleif, Chlothar and Halfdan being her cousins is also REALLY good and I like the idea a lot. (And of course the general idea of Rhine going "I'm done with boring, obedient and brainless people" stays the same regardless :p ). THE EXTROVERT ADOPTION, YES. Their dynamic is a typical example of "moody introvert who acts social and affectionate with no more than 1 (ONE) person, who is the complete, extrovert opposite of them". And I love that for them.

Absolutely! She can't take her eyes off him for even a second, or he might accidentally blow something up. (Maybe that's why Klee likes him so much). Asdfghjkl I think that's ESPECIALLY perfect for Albedo, because him having such a normal, typical detail of his childhood will help him feel a little more human. A small reminder he's like those around him. And YES, it was a painstaking process to get Albedo to stop putting things in his mouth, lmao :p (maybe that's how he found out spiders are tasty.......and MAYBE he still has a tendency to taste certain things to identify them. Sucrose watches him do it once and is like ???? "Mister Albedo that could literally kill you" "it's just chalk" "did you know that before or AFTER you put it into your mouth?" "no comment").

Thespian: Goodness gracious yes Rhine just. Does not tolerate anyone except Alice and the Hexenzirkel girls... She's probably jealous as hell of Alice's husband. Ngl Alice would probably cheat with Rhine on a complete whim and her husband just wouldn't care cause Alice gives pan energy like you wouldn't believe, she will date anyone so long as they catch her fancy and this includes Rhine... honestly Alice would get married on a whim and then start dating someone else next week without breaking up or anything cause she just forgot she's married. Also I love your friends arranged marriage thing, I can just imagine their parents watching them argue and be like "they'll learn to love each other :)" not realising that (a) Rhinedottir is def simping on Alice and (b) Dain is the least dateable man on the planet.

Also yes Albedo would 100% pull a Doctor Who and just straight up lick a wall and then be like "yeah no they didn't come through here" and leave and everyone else is like ????? The fUck? Ngl I bet the other 9 KoF captains have probably made it a thing to hand him random shit while he's reading and see if he licks it lmaoooo if he's not concentrating he just has a natural instinct to check what it is using pretty much anything besides his hands... Except when he's around people he doesn't, cause he gets anxious about trying to be a "normal person". And yeah I def like giving him those little childhood scars that make him a lot more human, I have this hc that he actually can heal quite quickly but has a limiter because Rhine didn't want it being suspicious and she also wanted him to have a couple reminiscent scars. Considering that almost all her sentient creations (Nigredo is an outlier and should not be counted) call her "mother" by THEIR OWN WILL even before the Cataclysm, she definitely treated most of them like kids until the Cataclysm got to her and she started building emotional walls. 🖤🖤

Purplesan: Asdfghjkl I like your way of thinking!! I also like to think that since Alice is (part?) elf, courting and marriage just work a little different for that species, so it's either very open/casual, or being poly is the norm. EITHER WAY, Alice 100% gives off pan vibes and I love that. LMAO SHE WOULD THOUGH. Considering she travels wherever her brain takes her and does impulsive things every other second or so, it wouldn't surprise me. And YES! The only reason Dain and Rhine remotely get along is because they're both misfits in their own way so they have at least a sliver of respect for each other. But aside from that??? Arguing galore :p (Rhine has already given her heart away to Alice, and as an alchemist obsessed with hearts and creating life, she takes that very seriously).

I am positively screaming, I need to write this down for a future fic or something. This is genius and I 100000% agree he does/would lick pretty much anything. So long as it's around people he trusts or is close to, because YES, I love the "I'm going to act as much as a normal human as possible until I know it's safe to get a little unhinged" thing he has going on. It adds a lot to his character! I love Albedo as a character a lot already, but little things like this make it even more special. Your headcanon (which I'm just going to accept as canon from now on because oh my god it's perfect) also makes me think maybe he'd purposely do reckless things in the hope to get scars and feel more human. "Mr Albedo I really think you should use your glider to traverse this cliff" "NAAAH". And him actually looking elated when he has a scraped knee or something.

I swear I could write an essay on the complexity of Rhine as both an alchemist and a mother. She cares for her creations like children and wants the best for them, but she also realizes "the best"...doesn't include her in most cases. I am BEGGING Hoyo to introduce us to more of her children, or expand on her lore, because there's so much to explore there. I want to know what she was like before she started building those emotional walls, and her interactions with others. I could go on for ages XD

Thespian: Yes!!!!!! Im sorry I forgot to reply cause I get distracted *very* easily but yes! I imagine Klee's dad just being like "this is my wife... And that's my wife's wife." And then when people get confused he's just like *shrug* "they're in love they're gonna get married whether I like it or not" and he's completely chill with it. He married Alice knowing full well she'd probably have several spouses and as long as they're nice he's fine with it. I hc he was also childhood friends with the Hexenzirkel kids so he's known Rhine a long time :)

Also yeah i think he does do that, he's always trying to act normal but when he's with people he trusts or alone he has a couple weird habits that come out. They're all probably ones that started when he was living underground with Rhine, where survival probably took the priority over being normal. And YES I LOVE THE IDEA OF HIM GETTING HURT ON PURPOSE. he'd rather take his chances and end up with a memory than come out unscathed. Maybe that's why he's one of the few Geo characters that doesn't really shield unless he uses crystallise- because he doesn't mind getting hurt.

Aakdbfjeuxhrbs go and write that essay buddy you have every right if no one's going to do it you should :) and also yes!!! She does care!!! But she also thinks that they would be better off without her, so she keeps setting them free, and in some cases (i.e Durin) that's exactly what they like, but in some cases (like Albedo) they end up missing her and she doesn't realise their lives would actually be better with her in it cause they love her too much and they don't want to leave her behind. And I also wanna know what she was like before all those walls got put up! I like to think she started alchemy with the end goal of a human child cause she couldn't have children herself somehow- she really wanted to be a mom but when faced with not being able to have her own child she chose to make her own. 🖤 maybe that's how she met Alice, two young women who had the same end goal and a long enough lifespan to do it whichever way they liked.

Purplesan: Don't worry about it!! Distraction is my middle name :p so I completely understand (and I'm late with replying now too XD). LMAO he'd be very casual and understanding about it YES. And Klee trying to explain to people "my mom, and my dad, and my other mom, who's my mom's wife."...pure chaos. It suits them :p That's so adorable!! I love the fact he just wants Alice to be happy. Like he grew up alongside her and knows EXACTLY what kind of person she is, and just went "cool" and rolled with it. OOOH I could definitely see Rhine being wary (maybe even a little jealous) of him while he's just trying to be nice and be friendly with someone he knows Alice cares a lot about. (she will of course eventually grow to appreciate him more).

YES I LOVE THAT. He didn't really learn what "normal" was until later OR had other priorities (because as you say, survival was important), so it's hard to let go of those habits. Thank you, glad you like it!! Albedo is definitely the kind of person who loves making memories to cherish, rather than being super careful all the time. OH. OH MY. That is actually a REALLY good explanation??? That makes sense tbh, and fits perfectly with his character :O

LMAO thank you thank you :p one day I shall write my essay to give Rhinedottir the attention she deserves :p (or at least a dozen fanfics worth of one, that counts too). YES!!! I love how you worded that, it's such a good explanation of the whole thought process. Rhine wants what is best for her children, but like any parent, she can't give them that without communicating with them about WHAT that "best" is in their opinion. I really hope Albedo will get the chance to reunite with her someday so they can talk about what they learned in their time apart.

And that is such a beautiful headcanon <3 I absolutely agree she wanted to be a mom, except she couldn't have/was afraid to have children in the usual way. So she tried (and succeeded in) finding an alternative. Considering how adventurous (and intelligent) Alice is, it wouldn't surprise me if she was fascinated with Rhinedottir's approach. Even if they're very different personality-wise, their desire to learn new things is definitely something they'd bond over. (And of course, they're both moms in their own right. I also feel like that plays a role - they both wanted to be moms, but not in a conventional way). It's so interesting to think and theorize about <3

Thespian: Omg yes. I can just imagine Klee introducing her big messy family and people are just like ???? And then Alice just laughs and says "dw about it it only gets weirder from here." Cause like, it does. And YES!!! Rhine being wary of him cause he married the woman she loves (esp since she's from Khaenri'ah which is likely fairly strict with marriage) and then he just goes "btw if you wanna marry her as well go ahead I don't mind have my blessing" and she's just like exCUSE? And after everything gets cleared up she starts liking him a bit more cause turns out he's just a bit of a dad who knows he's the safety net for the kids if their moms go a little too out of whack. Sometimes I imagine that Albedo calls Alice's husband his father cause he's the only one he's had (and a damn good one) which does annoy Alice but Albedo sticks to calling her aunt 😂 probably out of spite at this point

Yes! I think part of Rhinedottir's problem is that she's forgetting to actually communicate with her kids what she thinks is the best for them and let them voice their opinions on what they want. She knows she's been blamed for the Cataclysm and thinks that if her kids stay with her they'll cop the results of that. But she's forgetting that they might have their own wants. Hopefully they'll be able to talk it out someday.

And YESSSS!! They both want to be moms but fate has led them onto different paths... Maybe they made a pact when they were younger that they'd raise their kids together, but by the time they achieved their goals, Rhine had no choice but to send her son to her wife alone. :0 WHAT IF THEY GOT MARRIED IN SECRET ROMEO AND JULIET STYLE. that'd be cute.

Purplesan: My apologies for the late reply! ><

Klee isn't even fazed anymore XD her explanations are chaotic and incomprehensible, but to HER it all makes sense, which is what counts. YES. Rhine never liked the strict rules Khaenri'ah has but she obviously did grow up with them and is used to them. So the surprise she must feel upon meeting someone so chill??? Insane. I LOVE the idea of him being the one that keeps it all going smoothly and safely. I can just imagine him helping out anywhere he can (maybe even gifting Rhine alchemy supplies every now and then), being the middle man when anyone has an argument...just a chill guy who loves his little family. I SUPPORT THIS THEORY!! I am a sucker for the "Alice keeps trying to convince Albedo to call her mom" thing, so him calling her husband "father" would drive her crazy :p

I will stand by this theory for sure. On the one hand she's like "I'm your mom, I know things" but on the other hand she's like "yeah so maybe don't turn to me for emotional advice" and it gives an...interesting combination. If only she learned to communicate with her kids >< I do feel like Albedo made some progress with her, but there's a LOT left to learn and improve on. YES EXACTLY. The Cataclysm definitely hit her hard and caused her fear. I really, really hope Rhine's character story/arc will focus on her reconciling with some of her kids, or at least making an attempt to. I also like to think one of the reasons for leaving Albedo is because she feels like "the pupil surpassed his master" and she could learn from HIM (emotionally, mostly) and that kind of scares her. Because she's always been the smartest person in the room.

I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THAT. I feel like they'd be the kind of people to go "what if we just started adopting all the unhappy and neglected kids we find" and took that mission very seriously. And making a pact is so in-character for them too. THEY ABSOLUTELY DID. They certainly have the same kind of tragic love story as Romeo and Juliet (although I'm hoping for a happier ending).

And the added bonus: Rhinedottir making a ring for Alice out of alchemy, and even when they're apart, that ring is a reminder to Alice that her wife is okay, because if she wasn't, the ring would have disappeared along with her.

Thespian: Yes!! They mean something to her and that's what matters. Klee's not good at explaining but she gets it. Also!!!! I just found out!!! Chlothar was actually a rebellious child and hated the rules (even researching the gods out of spite) so they would've been chaotic besties. Maybe even siblings 😂 And yes absolutely Rhine would be shocked at the revelation of a guy so relaxed as Alice's husband. And then he's just really chill and acts the middle man and Rine realises why he's there... he can put some space between the wives if nessecary 😂 and absolutely Alice is driven insane by Albedo calling her husband father. Actually I released a fic last night where he did that but it was a minor part lmao.

And yes!!! Rhine tells her kids that she's their mom and she knows things, but she doesn't know everything, she's lost her emotional capability, and it's scaring her that her kid is beginning to emotionally develop because she can't help with that. She has to let him go because he's reached a point where his mum can't help him anymore and he has to do this on his own. But she still doesn't want him to not have help so she sends him to Alice. And yes my ultimate hope for Rhine's arc is learning to reconcile with her kids and relearn that it's safe to be human again, no one's hunting her down for the Cataclysm anymore. It'll be a rocky journey for sure, especially with the knowledge that Subject Two is alive, cause he won't be happy with her and she's probably going to be incredibly surprised and/or guilty, but hopefully she'll get there eventually. And yes! I think she has realised that Albedo has reached a point where she could actually start learning from him, but she's at the point where she's been the teacher for such a long time the thought of learning from someone else scares her. And YES they would absolutely adopt the neglected kids. I came up with a fic idea the other day where Alice makes an orphanage for abandoned or orphaned non-human kids after the Cataclysm and it was a really cute premise but I never posted it cause it wasn't writing the way I wanted it to write. Yes yes they did. OMG IMAGINE IF- WAIT LEMME WRITE THIS DOWN RIGHT- Chlothar and Rhine are in Mondstadt for some legal reason, where they meet their respective future wives, and they both get married together in a secret double wedding 🖤❤️🤍💜 OMG THAT IS ACTUALLY THE CUTEST THING EVER. LIKE PLEASE. and what if Rhine has a matching one, what if they made them together with alchemy AND magic. And Rhine's has a little clover made of rubies on it and Alice's has a gemstone flower of some sort on it. Omg with that kind of thing, every time Alice comes home she probably subtly makes sure Albedo can see the ring on her hand so that he knows his mother's ok 🤍

Purplesan: Klee loves her family and will protect them at all costs (not to mention adopt more people into it, because I firmly believe she picked up the "if someone feels unloved then I will MAKE them feel loved" habit from her mom, lmao). ASDFGHJKL THIS IS FANTASTIC NEWS TO ME. I smell another potential fic coming once I am finally caught up with Genshin again :p that's so cool. YES, I feel like Rhine doesn't trust people easily and is suspicious of almost everyone, so for the husband to be so chill is a pleasant surprise. The middle man we all need XD OOOH I must read that!! Even if it's just a minor part, it sounds fantastic.

Rhinedottir isn't a great mom, but tbh that "I know I can't give my kid the support and understanding he deserves and needs" proves she's trying her best and I love that. ME TOO, ME TOO. I need a Rhinedottir arc focussing on that, and I need it done well. Especially since the whole Subject Two story was an event-only thing, I NEED to see more of him in the main story. All the angst, misunderstandings, and feelings included. It will be a bumpy, rocky, tough, long and emotional ride, but it'll be so worth it. I agree!! It's scary to know suddenly she's no longer just the teacher. I WOULD SO READ THE HECK OUT OF THAT??? I completely understand it's tough when a story doesn't end up like you wanted it to, so absolutely no pressure. But if you do decide to re-write/post it someday, I just know it will be good and I'm gonna be hooked on it. I LIKE THIS A LOT. You come up with so many epic ideas and stories :O the double wedding would be everything. There's something very romantic about them deciding to marry their loved ones in secret despite everything.

THANK YOU, I'm glad you like it!! I absolutely LOVE the idea of them making the rings together. The whole "alchemy and science meeting magic" trope is perfect for them and proves that their combined powers are a force to be reckoned with. THAT IS BEAUTIFUL. And the thought of her sharing it with Albedo even more so <3 she would definitely do everything she can to reassure him.

Thespian: Yes she DEFINITELY picked up the "if someone feels unloved I will MAKE them feel loved" habit. Look at the way she talks to everyone, she even felt bad for an Abyss Mage. There's no way she didn't get that. Also yeah you and I need to write a fic together somehow. You've got such good ideas aaa

YES!! I love it when characters who've learnt to never trust anyone just meet someone so blatantly trustable. He was definitely a culture shock for her, if Alice wasn't bad enough 😂 Aww ty! The fic where it happens is named What Belongs to Us if you wanna find it.

And yeahhhh, we need a good bumpy ride of a reconciliation arc for both her and Subject Two. They'll get through it, but not without Alice's help :) And yeah! Realising you're just not the authority anymore after so, so many years of being in that position must hit hard- especially when it's her son that does eventually take over her in skill.

Awww thank you!!! I may try and rewrite it when I have the time :) I was thinking of posting more oneshots so I might as well and I do like the premise I'll keep you updated if it's ever posted!!

And yes!! Secret double wedding!!! I bet that after they got married Chlothar was intending to keep his wife safe by keeping her in Mondstadt but she was feisty and was going with him back to Khaenri'ah 😂 he couldn't help but let her.

They literally ARE the "science meets magic" trope. They are a force to be reckoned with and honestly I'm wondering what Celestia was thinking when they nuked Khaenri'ah- that was basically Operation Piss Off Alice if Rhinedottir had gotten hurt at all. The next Cataclysm will be in Celestia and she will be at the centre of it all. And yes Albedo knows full well that his mother isn't too safe alone out there and he's worried he'll never see her again, so knowing that she's still alive and he has a chance is definitely reassuring. And who is Alice if not someone who reassures others.

Purplesan: EXACTLY! Klee has a massive heart with space for even the most unusual people and creatures. And honestly? Good for her. She will make the entirety of Teyvat feel loved. Asdfghjkl we should! Your ideas are great too, together we'd be unstoppable, hehe

SAME. The whole trope is just adorable. The whole "wait so some people are ACTUALLY just nice and aren't trying to gain something??" shock is hilarious. And thank you, I'll definitely check it out!

We absolutely do, but to be honest, bumpy rides are the most fun when it comes to character development arcs. Alice's help is definitely required! She's one of the few people Rhinedottir will take advice from. (I like to think she also plays with that fact sometimes by telling Rhinedottir the strangest things knowing she'll believe it, but it's always harmless. Something like "if you compliment this plant every day for three weeks it will grow a flower". These two trust each other and neither of them would ever want to betray that trust. Pranking, however? Now that is a different story XD). It's hard, but hopefully she'll come to accept it so they can learn together >< at the very least, she knows her knowledge is in good hands.

That'd be amazing, good luck to you! And thank you, I'll look forward to it :3

This is absolutely how it went down, I don't make the rules :p I feel like a lot of these characters are very loyal and dedicated to people they care about, so letting them go to a dangerous place alone is just not happening. Whether that's Khaenri'ah upbringing or just their personality doesn't matter, they're just...very determined to keep each other safe ><

One of my favourite tropes brought to life in the best way possible. LMAO you're absolutely right there - Celestia made a huge mistake and they will in fact feel the wrath of Alice and Rhinedottir combined. The only reason they are still standing is because Rhinedottir survived so immediate revenge wasn't necessary. YES! That is definitely how it will go down! She will wipe them out with a smile on her face.

Alice is honestly a sweetheart for that. Obviously canonically it's lovely that she looks after Albedo like he's her own, but her making sure to reassure him emotionally as well just warms my heart even more. Their little family just makes me so happy, and them looking out for each other is a big part of that.

Thespian: Yes! Kaeya said Klee heals people and honestly yeah. Yeah that's going to be her entire fate. She could probably resolve the most traumatized person of their problems with, like, one sentence. Also, if we are going to write a fic I think we need a slightly more convenient mode of communication... Ao3 comments aren't exactly the most convenient 😂

And yes she'd be so shocked to discover that some people are just nice lmaoo Actually that's kind of not a good thing when you think about it

Yeah Alice is probably one of like 2 people Rhine will take advice from. (The second is her husband lmao.) YES ALICE WOULD PRANK HER SO BAD. Imagine Rhine just rapping on Alice's door and IMMEDIATELY starts bitching after the fake advice didn't work and Alice is just on the floor laughing. And eventually Rhine just can't help it cause Alice just has a contagious laugh and they both just end up sitting down and laughing. Yeah, hopefully she will end up accepting the fact that she's been overtaken. Who knows, maybe she'll be happy that she's found a true heir that's already surpassed her at such a young age. And yeah, she knows her wisdom is in safe hands :)

Aw, thank you :) I'll probably finish my current WIP then get working on it! (press X to doubt)

Alice and Chlothar's wife are basically like "it's dangerous to go alone! Take this!" And then just hug their partners and wait till they get it. And then when the Khaenri'ahns protest theyre just like "no" and shut them up somehow (with a kiss mayhaps???)

Yes Celestia made a huuuuge mistake by antagonizing Alice. I think that might be their fatal flaw, underestimating just how determined and how powerful their own creations can get, especially when they're backed against a wall or defending something/someone they love. They got off easy the first time, but that arguably put them in a worse position- by keeping Rhine alive, they've let her have an heir, who's more precious to her and Alice than anyone else either of them know. If Celestia targets either of the women, they'll incur the other's wrath, but if they're not walking on glass around Albedo, they'll have two PISSED lesbians on their hands, and this time they're not getting away.

Also id just like to mention that right when I read the second to last paragraph the music I had in the background was all "I've found you now, looks like I've won, pay the consequence" and that fit far too well. Esp since the song was Hide and Seek by Lizz Robinett so it sounds like a child singing. Terrifying perfect timing and honestly it fits. Alice walks straight through Celestia's doors all beat up and she's like "you hurt my fam. I found you now, you're paying the consequences, your time is mf UP" and give them the kick in the ass they deserve.

Yes she is a sweetheart!!! She always takes time to make sure Albedo's feeling all right. especially since he gets lonely easily and tends not to do anything about it 'cause he thinks it's be better if he isolated himself. (Which is in itself part of the problem.) He thinks he's dangerous, so he isolates himself, then gets lonely and needs someone with him, but he's too scared to get close to anyone... it's an awful cycle he keeps putting himself through but Alice always steps in and makes sure he's okay, and if she's not there then her husband does. Having a sensitive son can be a hassle but they're ready and willing to put in the work to make sure he's okay!

Purplesan: Klee becoming a healer not in the traditional sense (she loves blowing things up after all), but the mental kind of healer is so extremely wholesome. Asdfghjkl you make a solid point there XD what platform would work best for you? I usually prefer Instagram or Twitter, but I also have a Discord. I just always forget to check it (oops) so I might need to get into the habit of doing that more often >< let me know what you'd prefer!

Rhinedottir when she finds out people are capable of being nice: *surprised Pikachu face*. (Is this what she gets for isolating herself for so long??? MAYBE.)

Oh absolutely. Rhinedottir is used to correcting people (and sometimes maybe has a little too much faith in herself...or at least not enough faith in others), so there is a VERY select few people she will take advice from. There is some irony in the fact 1 of the people she will take advice from is also the most likely to prank her though :p That is absolutely ADORABLE and feels so in character. I feel like Alice is one of the few people that can draw genuine smiles or laughs from Rhine, and her having a contagious laugh certainly helps. TRUE. Maybe she will embrace that "proud mom" feeling instead of being insecure/feeling like she doesn't have a purpose. There is hope yet!

Asdfghjkl a big, big mood. "I will finish this project eventually!" I say, when starting 3 side projects. GOOD LUCK THOUGH!! I'll be rooting for you :D

This is canon in my eyes now. Absolutely what they would do and say. They are SUPPORTIVE spouses and nothing will stop them. (At that point, the kiss is mandatory :p most effective way of shutting them up)

The downfall of any species, gods or not, is underestimating a species they consider “weaker”. And underestimating human emotion? Now that’s a fatal flaw if I’ve ever seen one. And you worded that so beautifully!! Celestia better fear the combined power of Rhinedottir and Alice – two of the most dangerous and lethal lesbians in Teyvat. (Lethal lesbians sounds like a cool team name, lmao). Either way, their family means the world to them and not even Celestia can withstand their wrath if any harm befalls that family.

I am an absolute sucker for badass, dramatic entrances, so the timing of that song combined with the visual of Rhinedottir waltzing in, ready to beat up gods? An absolute masterpiece. Music can give so much inspiration for scenes like that ><

He takes after Rhine huh :p I adore how gentle and patient Alice is with him yet will firmly let him know he doesn’t need to suffer alone in silence. BEST MOM AWARD GOES TO ALICE FOR SURE. Sometimes you just gotta let your kids know you’re there for them *sobs*

Thespian: Every other chibi is a physical healer, Klee is a mental healer. We've cracked the code and I will now be putting prototype Amber on Klee to make her heal physically (I am kleeless) Also Instagram works! I have an unused writer account we can talk with (@back_corner_writer) if that works. (It's actually for a story I'm writing but it'll be a while before i start using that acc for that purpose so for now it's just empty lmao.)

That is absolutely what she gets for isolating herself for so long. Then again it's also partially the fault of everyone she grew up with not being nice...

She's definitely used to correcting people. I feel like she'd be the kind of student who ends up knowing more about the subject then the teacher 😂 Yeah that irony is definitely part of what makes their relationship. Alice pranks her so much that Rhine doesn't want to trust her, but she balances with just enough actual advice that she has no choice lmao. And YES Alice is one of the few that can draw actual smiles from Rhine. It's something she finds endearing the way Rhine just softly smiles whenever Alice does something. It's a tired kind of smile that absolutely got passed to her son. And yes she will embrace the proud mom feel but not before having an existential crisis over her successor getting to her level. Alice, you're up (we're just making fic plans aren't we)

Jfjsnrbsj yeah I always come up with stuff when I'm not in a place where I can write it (i.e bed) and then when I do sit down and try to write I have to start from the beginning, whereas in my head I'm like four years down the track 😭 why must I use my fingers to write

SUPPORTIVE👏SPOUSES👏 And yes the kiss is absolutely the most efficient way of shutting them up. Jektnejdjenjdbr the mental image of that and then Rhine and Chlothar just go totally red is so beautiful to me. The Beginnings of a Beautiful Romance

Yes! Underestimating human emotion is what causes their downfall. It's interesting how in most literature the gods are usually a saving grace, while here that's turned on it's head where they're most often the problem. And yes, Alice and Rhine are dedicated to their family, and they're not giving the gods any mercy if they touch their families. Just 'cause they're gods doesn't mean they cannot be judged.

Yes music gives so much inspiration!! Can't tell you how many times music has inspired me to do stuff.

Jdngkehfbsjd yes exactly Alice is there for him and she lets him know he doesn't need to suffer in silence. He does anyway cause damn he just doesn't listen when he gets told stuff like that. Jdjfbehxbr stop doubting yourself Albedo.

Actually I came up with this headcanon at some point that Albedo was modelled off Rhinedottir's first and only biological son, who died at some point as a child... so she started studying alchemy in the hopes of recreating a child in his image artificially since she couldn't have children of her own anymore somehow. Just since he looks so different from the rest of the Alberiches we know, I was wondering why.

Purplesan: EXACTLY! Mental troubles? Call Klee! Emotional instability? Call Klee! She's a true hero. (May you one day be lucky and get Klee in your pulls!!). And that's fantastic, thank you! I'll give you a follow :3 my name on instagram is almost the same as here: "purple.san". (OOOH lots of good luck with that! It's fun to have so many projects planned)

Asdfghjkl very true, the environment someone grows up in does tend to affect what kind of person they become. And for Rhine...well, it's certainly not ideal.

Oh absolutely XD constantly raising her hand to make comments, add things, correct them, ask impossible questions...to the point she'd get a ban, lmao. Or at least a limit as to how many things she's allowed to ask/say. Alice and Rhinedottir have one of my favourite relationship dynamics in terms of trust. The whole "I'll annoy you to no end but I'd still trust you with my life any day". Once again I LOVE the visual of that, because it just feels so in-character for both of them. The subtle smile they THINK goes unnoticed but actually has their partners feeling all giddy upon seeing it. Oh absolutely, an existential crisis is almost mandatory for any character development story :p (honestly, at this point we should almost start keeping a list of all these ideas XD)

That is the biggest mood ever. The most relatable paragraph ever to exist. My brain is already halfway through the story at that point, so when I have the opportunity to write and have to start from the beginning again?? Impossible. Some of my favourite ideas never get written because of this XD oops.

SUPPORTIVE SPOUSES ARE BEST SPOUSES. And yes, yes absolutely. Characters who are usually pretty good at hiding their emotions, but then go red-faced at a simple kiss or compliment? Words cannot describe the amount of serotonin that provides.

One of my favourite tropes ever is when people realize the gods aren't as helpful and good as they appear at first. The whole "wait, they're not just here to help" realization...sometimes even realizing gods can be petty and mean. And Genshin HAS ALL OF THAT, or at least potential to have storylines like it. "Found family trope" meets "not all gods are good" trope - the perfect fanfic soup. And with characters like Alice and Rhinedotir, you BET they will go after them.

Big same! Fic titles, storylines, or just simply getting into the right headspace/vibe.

LMAO honestly he's a mood for that. "Yes I know you're right, that doesn't mean I have to be happy about it or that I will do it".

THAT. THAT IS. VERY SAD. VERY HEART-BREAKING AND SAD AND PERFECT AND CLEVER AND TRAGICALLY BEAUTIFUL. I am a SUCKER for this headcanon, because it adds so many extra layers to their stories. Not to mention it adds even more to Albedo's whole "am I living up to her expectations" plotline. And Alice watching Rhinedottir spiral all for the sake of "reviving" her dead son...now that is top-tier angst, my gosh.

Thespian:

Yes! Klee is an emotional healer and that will be so important down the track. I got your follow too! :D I'll send you a hi if we're online at the same time (And Ty! I'm thinking of finding someone to help me draw the concept art for the characters but I'm not exactly well-versed in the art of paying people over internet... And I can't draw myself so until I get the concept art sorted that acc will be empty.)

Jsjfneh yeah "not ideal" is one way of putting it.

God I almost feel bad for Rhine's teachers. Although if they didn't know the material that's their fault lmaooo It's lighthearted banter that's made to make Rhine smile a little when she can. I think especially since the Cataclysm Alice has had a real focus on trying to cheer her up in small ways so that she doesn't lose her mind. Also, Albedo 100% does the small smile thing, idc who he gets shipped with he does that. And YES MANDATORY EXISTENTIAL CRISIS!!! (I'll be real I've been using this comment chain as the list lmaoooo but I think we do need an actual list...)

God same I have so many ideas I haven't started yet cause I'm way down the track in my head... or I start writing them and then never finish... I have so many documents full of unfinished fics...

SUPPORTIVE SPOUSES FTW jfnektjsnrbe I love the mental images of tough-as-nails stoic people getting any little bit of attention from their crush and just going fully red. Dofjrbsihheifhrjsjdnebdjfbsbfjeb

Yes yes Genshin has all that potential!!! Especially since they're all quite secretive about a lot of stuff- unless it's, like, an emergency, they don't tell us shit. Meanwhile regular humans tell us more about this world than the gods ever have. God yes I love trope mashups and this one sounds so tasty. Alice and Rhine will be taking the shots, with the rest of the Hexenzirkel at their back. Celestia can run but they can't hide from the lesbian queens

Real. I can't write unless I've got music going in the bg.

Yeah I think one of his biggest struggles is going to be letting himself listen to people and start healing from the damage he's done to himself by not listening even when he knows it's for his own good. It's that difference mentality- it's like the reverse of what he said in his story quest, "a doctor can diagnose you because they are you." He knows there's no one around that's quite like him, and that inherent separation is what's causing him to not really take advice he's getting. It's that "you wouldn't know" kind of thing, except what he doesn't realise is that while, yes, the people around him don't exactly know how he feels, they've still had similar feelings themselves (most of them, anyway) and can use that experience to help him. Relying on others is something he's not very good at and he has to learn how to do, but it's his own mentality that's stopping him- he needs to get through that first.

JFNDJTHSB THANK YOU FOR ACCEPTING THE HEADCANON Gosh I didn't even think about the fact that albedo might consider it part of living up to her expectations, when I first came up with it he didn't even know about that it was a secret... But God that gives so much Angst Potential for both him- trying to live up to expectations that were never really placed on him- and Rhine, who has to try and heal herself and make up for her lost opportunities to love him like a son. AAAAA and Alice watching her spiral YES so much angst... this fic finna be hurt no comfort at this rate lmaooo

Purplesan: She absolutely is! Teyvat needs more people like her :') Yay! Feel free to message me when I'm not online too! XD I think at some point I may have turned off the display-thingy for when someone's online, so it's okay to just message me whenever and I'll reply when I can ^^ (which is, hopefully faster than I do on here, oof. What even is time :') (I really hope you'll be able to figure it out!! Online payment is confusing as heck (the only thing I really know is Paypal, but even that is only when it comes to official stores), but it'll be SO worth it. I'm sure you'll do great at creating a wonderful universe and characters ^^)

Ehehe :')

She just can't help herself :p And yes definitely! Alice may act carefree and happy a lot, but I feel like she's actually just trying to be a positive influence on people she cares about. The light in the dark. (And I imagine that also means she feels guilty whenever she feels down or upset herself...). I FULLY AGREE, HE DOES. (Asdfghjkl fair enough tbh :p a checklist for fic conceptss does sound perfect. "Must include: existential crisis, angst, friendly banter, two emotionally constipated idiots...". A fanfic-recipe so to say XD)

I recently went through some old documents and realized that, aside from the ones I KNEW I didn't finish, there was so much more I had forgotten even existed XD the curse of writing, I suppose.

I SUPPORT THIS VISUAL. One of my absolute favourite character tropes. ESPECIALLY if it's someone known for always keeping their cool.

There are so many unanswered questions and so many mysteries. And on the one hand - that's a fanfic writer's dream, so they can go all out with headcanons...but on the other hand, I NEED ANSWERS, HOYOVERSE. I BEG. Either way I agree I want the Hexenzirkel to come and back our queens up while they conquer Celestia :D (One of my friends shared a theory that Diluc's mom might be/might have been part of Hexenzirkel and I have not been able to stop thinking about it since).

YES. Music is everything

This. THIS. You put it into words perfectly. That feeling of "I'm not like you, so how could you possibly understand me" versus "you're not the enigma you think you are, don't distance yourself even further because you think that's what's best for you". He must feel so ALONE for not knowing anyone quite like him, yet at the same time he struggles with allowing people close when they want to/are willing to learn. So much room for character development and stories there *sobs*

I ABSOLUTELY DO. Him not knowing (and potentially finding out later) would ALSO be heartbreaking tbh, because then he might wonder if any praise she ever gave him was actually directed at HIM, or if it was meant for the "other him"....but also, the angst potential of him knowing and having so many expectations to live up to. So it doesn't matter which way you look at it, IT'S GOING TO BE AN EMOTIONAL ROLLERCOASTER EITHER WAY. A lot of hurt with very little comfort :') and their loved ones watching them spiral...yup, this one will hurt real good

Thespian: Teyvat does need more people like her. She'll definitely be very useful at the end of the game, because we all know that some big disaster's gonna happen and she'll be much needed comfort.

Yes yes! I'll message you when I can :D Speaking of, what should we use to actually write the fic? Cause we'd need a shared document. (Aw thank you!! I'm sure I'll be able to figure it out eventually. For now though I'll keep planning the worldbuilding!)

Augh I didn't expect that Alice might not be who she is on the outside... Aaaa the angst potential. The fact that she tries to be positive for everyone around her??? And then she's just a little down on herself when she's alone?? But then she feels guilty about being sad because she's Alice, she can't be sad. :0 she's putting up a happy facade to cope with the fact that her girlfriend's not contacting her. EXACTLY HE DOES THE THING. Wait I'm pretty sure that's canon actually cause he did it in 2.3 when someone complimented his cooking. (It is a fanfic recipe. Put them all in a document, mix them around, then put it in the oven at 300°C and let the characters cry lmao)

YOU. YOU GET IT. Characters who always keep their cool losing it when they get attention from their s/o? Amazing. Alternatively, their crush turns away and starts talking to someone else and brushes them off a little and their shoulders droop a little and they're just ever so slightly visibly sad. But no one notices and they just kinda bottle it up like they do with everything else.

YES!!! Answers, HoyoVerse. Please. I was hoping we'd get a winter update in 4.3 that'd give us some extra Hexenzirkel lore or similar, but apparently not >:( HoyoVerse has Albedo locked in the basement and I am crying trying to get him out But yesss Alice and Rhine go for Celestia!!! Take them down (I don't mind the theory about Diluc's mum, although it's possible Alice just gave the tea set to him. Especially since she basically adopted him after Crepus died.)

GOD, yes. He would feel so alone, and he doesn't realise part of the reason for that is himself- if he loosened up a little, he would figure out that a lot of his problems are easily solved if he just leans on someone, but noooo he has to keep trying to do everything alone. He acts like he's got it all together, but he's just so lonely underneath it. His little heart is broken and he knows it should be fixed but. But he just can't, because he prioritises others over himself and to him, it comes down to others' safety and his wellbeing, and he doesn't know that most of his friends wouldn't mind the risk just to make sure he's okay.

aUGH YES. him knowing, him not knowing, whatever path you choose it all ends in spiralling. ESPECIALLY since Albedo seems to overthink a lot. Omg okay so I was looking at the other Khaenri'ahns we know for visual references and thinking about that headcanon and then I was like,,, "Rhine/Dain is good but Rhine/Halfdan???" And then I realised that Halfdan's hair colour is closer to Albedo's than Dain's is. And also Halfdan would be a much better dad. And also the potential for angst during the Cataclysm while he's fighting for his citizens against the very creatures his wife made to protect them. Thinking of where she might be and just knowing she'll be blamed and even though there's lives at stake he just cannot help but think how will she survive? Both mentally and physically. And hoping against hope that they'll both make it out. And then Dain blaming her for Halfdan's death and she's just like ...what? Because she didn't know. Ohhhhhhh yes this one will hurt very very good.

Purplesan: Gosh, I just know the end of the game is going to make us suffer :’) emotional damage times ten. Where are the emotional healers when you need them?Oooh good point! I think Google Docs is the most “collaboration-friendly” way to write in the same document? I know multiple people can work in the same file simultaneously, while also leaving comments and suggestions and such. Unless you’d prefer something else of course! ^^ (Also very important! I’ll be rooting for you :3)

I just love the happy-go-lucky characters who act all silly around their loved ones, yet at the same time have their own (invisible) struggles. Bonus points if Rhinedottir notices and calls her out on it (by offering comfort in her on way). ANGST POTENTIAL INDEED. Asdfghjl I love it when canon confirms our theories in some way :p (LMAO, exactly! Five-star dining, with a disclaimer/small print about the recipe not being responsible for ~emotional damage~ sustained by it)

It’s my favourite thing ever, without a doubt. The way they just melt completely. And OF COURSE, the mandatory angst always accompanying the good fluff. Someone who acts all cool and touch, melts at the smallest hint of affection…and who’s secretly not as tough as they seem and actually needs that validation/attention from their partner. (At this point we’re describing like half the Genshin characters but shhhh). YOU GET IT.The fact Hoyo takes forever to update the good bits has me screaming. I understand a game takes time and they can’t drop it all at once but *sobs in a corner* I need my answers. My lore. ALBEDO AND CO. HEXENZIRKEL. PLEASE. (Ooooh good point! I hadn’t thought of it like that yet, but knowing Alice (or at least the small bits we’ve seen so far), that would also be a very realistic possibility :O)

Literally crying over your top-tier fantastic 10/10 description of Albedo’s inner workings, thank you. THIS IS PERFECTION. He definitely prioritises other people’s safety over his own, sacrificing his happiness if it means keeping others safe. (His “if I lose control one day…” plea to the traveller being just one example to back that up). Damn it Albedo just accept people care about you already :’)

……I would read, no, DEVOUR this, tbh. Like, that’s brilliant thinking and THE ANGST. I love angst (what a surprise, lol), but this??? This is the exact flavour of angst I live for. The sheer guilt of “I tried to do everything right but instead it all went to hell”??? The survivor’s guilt???? THE NOT KNOWING???? I am a goner. My heart. Thank you for this wonderful, magnificent rollercoaster of emotions.

Thespian: The end of this game is going to kill us all. First Splatoon and now this, is it impossible for me to get into a game that won't make me cry and laugh at the same time??? Stop giving me women that would fistfight their manager in space for the sake of their girlfriends (read: Alice and Neo 3)

Google Docs sounds good, it's definitely a good long term option. I do have a Microsoft account so we could use word but by end of next year it'll be deactivated so it might not be a good idea. How're you gonna share the Google doc with me, though? As far as I'm aware we don't know each other's Gmails which it requires. (Awww thank you!!!! It's going well, although I've extended it from an 8-part series to a 16-parter... This should not be my first published work)

God, yEs. Character who acts all bubbly and happy, then sits in their room and cries at 3am??? Everything. Oh yes absolutely ten thousand bonus points for that one, pLEASe. and yesss, canon-confirmed headcanons are always such a source of joy, it's like :0 I know this character so well I thought of something they'd do and they actually do it!!! (Five star dining until the author picks "Chose not to use archive warnings" and doesn't tag the major character death or something 😂)

Yes yes yes!!! Especially when they're tired or something, they get a single touch from their partner and they're gone. No more operating, Partner is Here and Hugs are Needed Immediately. Bonus points if it's been a hard day and they cry a little. It's the little things that make them human- that need for affection even if they deny it. Dying of loneliness is a thing people, don't bottle shit up. Speaking of bottling things up, there's a dialogue option in the Lantern Rite event that says Traveler prefers bottling their feelings up... AND THERE'S NO OTHER OPTION. ITS CANON TO BOTH TWINS. GIRLIPOP NOOOO (I took a screenshot I'll send it to you.)

God yeah. Me and a couple of my Tumblr moots have been waiting for ages (the amount of copium I've been on the last few weeks has had me higher than Cloud Retainer's kite) for a new Hexenzirkel patch. We think it might be coming next patch or after but please, Fontaine and Natlan years would be perfect. Nicole in Fontaine and Natlan being the nation of dragons (cough cough RHINEDOTTIR) would be perfect for more Hexenzirkel lore. Please please.

Hahaha my good friend Monard cries over my albedo work too, I'm not sure how I do this but apparently I can use this boy to make people cry :) and yeah, he absolutely prioritises other people's safety over his own!! It's a trademark of a good head scientist, taking responsibility of his assistants and taking responsibility for whatever happens in experiments, and comes in handy as a knight too. Problem is it backfires in regular life, and while I admit he doesn't exactly have much of a regular life (lab rat ass, get out and have fun) it does mean he often sacrifices his own feelings (i.e. his experiment) for the betterment of others (the safety of his assistants). It's the same train of thought, but it doesn't run quite the same way in social situations as it does in the lab. He does absolutely need to figure out that other people love him, that's why he needs a bf

I know right??? It's such a good concept and I don't have the time to flesh it out on my own. If we're planning this fic I'd like to include this idea, it feels like one that could reach peak potential with two minds and also our different schedules leave us to flesh out each other's ideas. Halfdan is perfect for fitting into the rhinefam because he is so similar to Albedo in that his close connection to Rhinedottir would give him this weird sense of guilt for what she's done, but also the intrinsic knowledge that she's not what Celestia makes her out to be, but he can't out and say that because it might hurt him and his other loved ones. And of course Rhinedottir has such monumental guilt once she finds out Halfdan didn't survive because of her... What do you think Rhine would have been like if Halfdan had defied Dain and gone to help her instead? What do you think would have happened if they raised Albedo together, way underneath the earth... aUGH the ideas are flowing again. Words are going tonight. You are very much welcome. :D

[alycosworld]

guess who🤡 heyhey 💕 here. I’m pretty sure by this 2nd request u can tell that I’m a very emotional person🧍🏻‍♀️ and that I’m a person that seeks alot of comfort from fictional characters because i dont have a life and good friends.

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putting a divider here so u dont have to read everything and can look out for keywords!

purple—> person

pink—>genre

green—>subject

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I’m not sure if u r comfy writing kazuha so if yr not I’m sorry u can ignore this! i just want a fluff comfort for reader who got like REALLY scolded for getting bad grades for exams because u have no idea how angsty I’m feeling rn:( my parents just literally like scolded me like there was no tmr istg- so i just need really fluff comfort. so a kazuha x NB(non bibary)!reader

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Anyways again tysm u have no idea how grateful i am if you accept my request!!!<3 get lots of rest and drink water. only do this if you want to!

byebye<3

-💕

Kazuha's Wise and Whimsical Words

Kaedehara Kazuha X Reader

A/N: aaaa 💕anon ily!! being emotional is completely fine and I would be honoured to become of your good friends!! I will be a part of your life, private message me if you're ever feeling down! I just want my readers happy because they make me happy aaaaaa 🥺

with that being said, i love this request! My parents were so hard on me when it came to exams, but as soon as I broke away from their expectations, I started to appreciate my grades more. I'll leave the real comforting words for Kazuha to say but NO ONE SHOULD EVER be disappointed in yourself if you tried your best. Thank you for your support and the request, I hope the story makes you feel better. Enjoy!

ps: I took into account the fact that not everyone has a mother and a father and not everyone has two parents at all, so only one parent is mentioned here and they are left gender neutral so it's easier to picture yourself in the story.

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"(Y/N). This is not at all what I expected. What happened to you?" Your parent asked sternly.

"Well, I--"

"I don't want to hear any excuses. Your predicted grades were much higher than this!" They said, raising their voice.

"I'm sorry, I--"

"Sorry is not going to improve your results! Do you really think that now is a good time to be slacking off? You have one more exam period before university. I don't care if you pass those exams, I want you to excel. And if you don't, you are not attending Sumeru Academia, whether they accept you or not. I am not paying for you to study overseas, only for you to get mediocre grades." They said, making you even more anxious than before the exam.

"But I got above the average!"

"By two percent! And the average was low." Your parent said, narrowing their eyes slightly and upsetting you with their belittling gaze.

"Realistically--"

"Realistically? Realistically?! If you want to study realistically, you should find someone else to pay for your education. When you want to study successfully, you can come back." They slammed the stack of sheets that displayed your results on the table with a loud bang before folding their arms as you grabbed a jacket and stormed out of the house, tears running down your face.

You walked for a while in the night, before eventually finding yourself in an area you were less familiar with. After recognising it to be somewhere near your boyfriend's current residence off Beidou's ship, you made a beeline for his place, knocking on the door and hoping, praying he would be alone inside.

The door soon opened and Kazuha stood there, initially with a smile on his face but it soon dropped when he saw your expression.

"(Y/N)? What happened?" He asked.

"C-can I come inside?" You sniffled.

"Of course, Love. Come in." He said, ushering you into his quaint little place. You stood by the door that closed behind you before Kazuha pushed the coat you had lazily draped over your shoulder onto the floor and enveloped you in his arms.

You broke down in his embrace. You had done better than most of your fellow students, and frankly, you were kind of proud of your result. But it was foolish of you to think that your parent would accept anything but perfection. They said it was all for you, but you were doubting it. Did you even want to go to Sumeru Academia? You had had your heart set on it since you were a child, but maybe that was only because your folks always envisioned you going there.

"Why are you crying, my love?" Kazuha asked, sitting you down near the fire to warm you up and standing up to get you a blanket and a hot cup of tea.

"I'm not good enough." You mumbled. If it was anyone else, they wouldn't have heard you. But your boyfriend could listen to the wind "talk" - he was very attuned to quiet and subtle noises.

"Nonsense." He smiled, bringing you the blanket as you listened to the water boil in the background.

"You're more than good enough. Everyone who knows you adores you - no one more than me, of course." Kazuha chuckled, eventually setting down two cups of tea and sitting in front of you on the floor.

"Public opinion won't improve my grades." You said, now more stoic than upset. You had almost become numb and desensitised to degrading comments that after you cried a little and calmed down, you'd be straight-faced and almost emotionless. It didn't feel good, but it was certainly better than feeling bad.

"So this is about school." Kazuha nodded, gesturing for you to continue explaining why had happened.

"They keep talking about my grades. They said I shouldn't be slacking and that I'm not going to get to Sumeru Academia and that they want me to do better...maybe I'm interpreting it wrong. Maybe they're trying to encourage me?" You wondered aloud, thinking that somehow you were the problem. As soon as you said "they", Kazuha knew who you are referring to and sighed.

"Encouragement and doubt are two very different things. Unrealistic expectations, detrimental practices, emotionally, mentally or physically taxing improvement - none of that is going to help you. In fact, it'll make you feel worse. When you really think about what you have to do to achieve perfection, you'll only realise how unattainable it is. You'll fall into a perpetual spiral of intellectual destruction." Kazuha said.

"Then how the hell am I gonna get the best results?" You asked worriedly.

"You won't. No one will ever get the best results because more people and more previously unforeseen factors will come into play. What you can achieve is your best results. Your grades are a product of you, not the other way around. They are no measure of your worth, they cannot define you, and they do not have to be a part of you. If you don't ace one subject, you don't have to hang on to that or turn it into some strange part of you. You can't cling to it, it's impossible to cling to a piece of the past forever. That's not to say you don't learn from it, but it doesn't need to become some villainous trait - in the end, it is only a grade." Kazuha shield at you. His words warmed your heart more than the fire or tea, and they even seemed to dry your tears and allow you to mirror his expression.

"And at the very least, you can hold your head high knowing that you had the strength to participate in an exam when not everyone does. You went in, sat through it, attempted the questions and walked out. Not everyone has the courage to stay; some don't even have the courage to start. That goes for any endeavour you face." Kazuha said, before inching closer to you.

"Feeling any better?" He asked. You nodded instantly. Of course, Kazuha's wise and whimsical words had bettered your mood, it was Kazuha for Archon's sake.

"Good. Maybe we could go for an evening stroll? I'll treat you to dinner if you haven't eaten." He offered.

"Can...can we just stay like this for a little longer? I think being alone with you is nicer." You smiled.

"Of course, Angel. Anything you want."

┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈❀┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

this was less physical fluff than I intended, but I think I do comfort with direct words and dialogue best, so I hope this is okay. honestly, everything kasha said is what I would've wished to hear when I was in this situation. I'll probably post a rant about my own exam experiences because this request got all my past feelings to resurface.

thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed!

[life-rewritten]

Lovely Writer Ep 1; An Introduction to Ambition, Masks and Secret Goals

We did it, guys! After trying hard to get back into this writing groove thing, I think I have found it, the show that will make me want to write. And we all say What??  Oh, my word was the first episode of Lovely writer so great. From the first moment the show starts, you can tell there's meta, it's calling out the BL industry; sarcastically, with comedy, shallowness, and yet there's this air of secrecy and depth to it. It's funny because the industry's problems made fun of are essentially going to be our big villain of the show, the thing that's going to try and rip our couple apart. So to see the first episode already lay a foundation for us to start realising the disconnect with what's being done on the surface vs what's being truly displayed secretly shows us already this show is playing with the ideas of masks and the lengths it would take to actually survive in this world/industry portrayed in the show. The thing as well is we are watching this show through the lens of Gene; he's also someone who's become very disconnected with how he feels about the problematic elements of this industry vs how people want him to think about it; they want him to thrive off it, to use it for his ambition, to use it to make himself known. So already, we are also introduced to the theme of ambition and the theme of secrets. The characters are acting in a way to get something done for them, and yet they're hiding their truths to please something; the industry, a person of power, or just something they want. And that's fascinating already to start with. That's already going to be fun to unpack and write about.

I just really love how deep this show is already becoming;  hidden with comedy and romance, we see depth, we see realism and calling out issues that we face in the real world concerning the BL genre, and still, we see yet, a love story brewing as well, it's a perfect combination. Or is it? And not to be so fully surprised, I did say that Tee is a great director, he made TharnType mean something to me, and that's because he hides his themes and his actual message behind layers and layers of subtext, he focuses on flaws of characters, but he makes them feel real, yet he also tackles real conversations about things that happen in real life and hides it behind a passionate romance and comedy. That's why this is so great for me. In already episode 1, Tee has shown up and done everything I knew he could do with Lovely Writer, and I am so freaking excited. The words are pouring out of me. Once the show started, I wanted to write, analyse and talk about this show.  I wanted to bring to the surface the meta, the subtext, the foreshadowings and the character depth. I am truly ready for this show, and I hope you all are too. So episode 1, how were we introduced to the themes of the show so far; well, let's find out.

An Introduction to Ambition, Masks and Secrets

So the show starts off as a typical romantic comedy Bl; at first, you are like, it's funny they keep mentioning these little truths about the genre and the industry. It makes sense; we're seeing the story through the eye of a frustrated writer in the industry who has to do a lot to be part of it, so it is funny but also surreal to see the issues being brought up about the industry. Because of this, you know this show is meta. It's taking its self not seriously, but it's actually serious below the surface. So immediately, my sensors start to ping, could there be more depth to this story, are there hints showing us what to look out for, is there more to what Tee wants to say with this show. And actually, the first thing is the introduction to Aey. They mention him at first during the casting call discussion; the way they introduce him is interesting to me because I know he's an obstacle to our story. He's a love rival, and he's sneaky.

Aey is an interesting villain if you wanna call him that. He's obviously going to be a barrier, and you know, his smile on his face seems like a mask, not particularly for evil, just something he has to use to get his way. Just like Nubsib, he's faking an image, and we see his real face in the bathroom, this episode. Especially when he looks through some comments and tweets, which I don't know what it's about because there were no subs, but I'm guessing either mentioned his sexuality or how cute how he and Nubsib will be together or something else that pokes at his insecurity. Right now, he's ambitious,  his thoughts are on succeeding, and so he acts docile, nice and friendly to get what he wants; however, we can see that the reason why he's right now trying to get Nubsib's attention isn't because of love; it's because of the job, of wanting to keep appearances, of knowing this would make him more successful, this will make them famous and please their growing shipping fandom.

That's the exciting thing; the question is, does he really like Nubsib or is he just faking it. Is there more to his connection with Nubsib? Also, just the fact that he's not a one-note character but he already seems to have layers is so exciting for me; this show is already doing what I hope it would do for me, it's being meta, secretive, smart, structured and still having comedy and romance on the surface. These characters all seem to have layers, truths hidden and interesting reasons for why they do what they do. That's fascinating to me. So because of that one scene where we see Aey almost break his mask and then go back to putting it on to please people and write on his social media, I'm already seeing the theme of ambition in this series. I see it in Gene, Nubsib (for Gene mostly), Aey, even Hin, who's a bit interesting with his own want to write and need to be noticed. Interesting.

The lengths our characters have to go through to achieve their ambitions might make them take on masks that they aren't particularly comfortable with, and also isn't an accurate display of their own values and truths but never the less they have to do this to achieve their ambition.

Gene: The Mask Of A Writer

We can see Gene isn't really a fan of BL writing and the tropes associated with it. In fact, he deplores it, he finds it hard to write about, and he doesn't think there's any substance to them. His focus is that what they portray is shallow, unimportant and toxic, just like how he sees the industry promoting them. It's why he's fine being an introvert; he feels safer in the confines of his home doing what he loves to do; writing, but he's decided, letting people in is not worth it. Mostly people from his industry who seem callous at times, greedy at best, and just corruptive. He disagrees with that and tends to want to distance himself from that. But what can he do? He wants to write, he wants to survive by doing what he loves to do, he wants to thrive in his job; however, he has to make sacrifices to get to that goal where he can comfortably write what he wants.

He's not really comfortable there, he wants to write something else (something with more depth, something with more understanding, something that makes him feel like him), but he can't, so he takes on a mask to keep on doing whatever he can for his ambition.  Writing is all Gene seems to have, from constantly being tired, irritated, and too focused on it to even take care of the state of his house, of himself, and of his relationships. Nothing is more important than writing. That's his ambition, what makes him happy, what makes him safe, what makes him comfortable. And that's very relatable; as an introverted writer my self, Gene finds an escape from the real world when he puts his mind at work, and he creates however slowly, the love and excitement he has for writing are being shadowed by the lack of belonging he feels for the genre he has to write about. The moral conflicts, the uncomfortable topics and just overall the shallow results of his stories. They don't mean anything to him, just a way for ends meet. And that must be incredibly frustrating and tiring. Yet Gene has to do it to get his ambitions done.

That's why it's funny/important that Nubsib is invading his space. Nubsib's presence is showing up and unravelling Gene's masks, his truths, his reality. Nubsib is pushing Gene out of his act and making him question his ambition and truth. But also, in a way, Nubsib is providing depth for Gene for this genre as he starts to be truly inspired by his unknown attraction and connection to Nubsib.

 The more the love becomes authentic, the more Gene starts to understand maybe why BLs might be written and why it might be loved by many fans because of that meaning of love that is portrayed when done correctly. So perhaps, Nubsib is making Gene realise more about the other side of things; maybe he offers a different perspective, especially since he's going to be one of those tropey BL characters.

Nubsib: The Mask Of A Lover

Nubsib is very much ambitious, he takes levels to make sure he gets to Gene, but also he hides his true self and wears a mask of two faces. Even his manager knows his real personality and says it; he's faking an image. He hides who he really is to Gene to come of nicer and sweeter, but also he does all of this to get his goal of making Gene trust him. Making Gene first think he's a good boy.  Now, of course, immediately, I notice his two-faced behaviour. I see red flags; this isn't a healthy way to pursue a lover; it's full of lies, secrets and not truly knowing the real person's character. So are we going to unveil more about his intentions, why he's so invested in Gene and what he gains from doing all this, this way? Why is he so ready to ensure this time, Gene doesn't escape or that he doesn't lose his chance to finally be with Gene.

Acting doesn't seem to be his agenda; Gene is, you know, which is why you can feel already from the bat that he knows Gene before. He's pretending they haven't met before/, or he's seen something in him that's made him want to be near him; that's fascinating and interesting, that's the lengths he's taking; to wear a mask to get what he wants. It's interesting because, in a way, his lying, manipulation and secrecy is the opposite of what his presence is going to be for Gene in the show. Remember, he's meant to add authenticity to Gene's life, and love, and vulnerability, and so it's worrying because it's almost like Gene is falling in someone who he doesn't even honestly know. But this is just episode 1; as much as yes Nubsib is manipulative and secretive, I think there are things we'll get to see about him that's still authentic, at least for now; one of the things that stay true is his feelings for Gene, that's what's driving him, and Gene who has been so devoid of that connection maybe that's why Nubsib has to find a way to break down his walls in that way. We can see it's not easy for people to see Gene's vulnerable side. Nubsib makes him vulnerable, and maybe Nubsib knows this about Gene if they have met before; maybe he knows this is the only he can maybe try to make Gene notice him since Gene is so quick to run back home and throw himself into his world of writing. But is it okay? No, it's still manipulative and deceitful, but I think it's going to have consequences. And I can't wait to see how that unfolds. You also see some parts of when his masks fall, and that's concerning Aey, which is funny because  I think they're the same type of people. This is why I'm intrigued by this show; they both will do whatever it is to get what they want.

Aey: The Mask Of An Actor

And then we have Aey; he's even more fascinating; he's pretending to like Nubsib for his own agenda. Even Nubsib can feel it. They've known each other for a while. They can read through each other's masks. That's why they have an interesting plot arc coming. The show does start by making note that he rarely would get a role this big because of his queer identity. Apparently, that's an issue/ problem with the industry (both in fiction and in reality, sadly). They think LGBTQ actors don't attract money if they're too 'queer',  so Aey is determined to get success, notice and fame. He's already found ways to get to this point by overhearing Nubsib when he finds out about the audition. Nubsib is already known and supported by people. Aey may be different. Maybe he's had to struggle to be noticed.

In a way, he's doing all he can to ensure this works for him, but in order to do so,  he also wears a mask and hides who he really is to everyone. In fact, the reason why he's chosen for the role is because even though he is queer, he doesn't seem like it. This is what was said in the show. The only person who seems to see him truly is Mhok, and that's an exciting development being hinted at. There's someone again who is connected to unravelling his mask and knowing his genuine authenticity. I think this is a big theme surrounding romance in this show.  So Aey is going to be an interesting obstacle, just like Sib, everything that comes out from his mouth are lies to get what he wants, maybe even his smiles and fake niceties aren't truly his character; he seems devious (not in a negative way), he seems cunning, like he knows how to be one step ahead. This is probably what he's made himself become to be chosen, noticed and taken seriously. To get what he wants. This makes him a fascinating antagonist; I don't think he's a villain, just someone who has a fascinating character arc in the show. I can't wait to explore it.

Hin: The Mask Of A Follower

And then there's Hin. As much as he's chirpy and nice and friendly to Gene, he seems quite, I won't say jealous, but he does show he wants the chance and opportunities Gene has with writing. He asks the manager by text as the audition happens,  to read his book and let him know if it's possible for publishing. It seems he tends to be overlooked; he's curious, wide-eyed, always looking positive, but what if this is also just a mask? What if we're gonna see more to this arc too. It'd be interesting to see if he'll feel annoyed at Gene complaining about having the opportunity he has to write BLs, when others may not be chosen the same way. But that's just a theory about Hin. If all the other characters are just as ambitious in getting what they want, what's to say, Hin wouldn't be later. What role would he play during the show's ending, perhaps just a supportive friend, a guide to help Gene deal with whatever comes, but it is interesting to know he also wants to write. My first thoughts always point to negative with that because it suggests rivalry. And I think rivalry is also an interesting theme, an occurrence that happens in the industry. So maybe there's more to him, or perhaps not.

So yeh ambition and masks and the lengths the characters would go to fulfil what's important to them in this show have been built up already. Most of our characters all share similarities of having to become or do something that doesn't pertain to the truth of who they really are. They see no choice in the matter; they have to do this to survive or to be happy. This industry is a competition, it's harsh, and you need adaptability, tough skin and methods to survive and get what you want. Especially since Lovely Writer is about the Acting industry as well. These characters all have to be actors somehow, Gene has to pretend he cares about BL, so he sells and makes it big, Nubsib has to pretend he doesn't know Gene, so he can win Gene's heart, Aey has to pretend he cares about Nubsib, so he becomes famous and supported by his fandom, and maybe even Hin has to pretend he's okay with following after Gene, so he can find opportunities to learn more about the industry and also find ways to publish his book. An interesting theme that occurs in real life. Obviously, as Gene and Sib fall for each other, those ambitions come out to the surface, become obstacles in the making, and they have to choose to sacrifice some of it for their love and happiness. One way or another, there's a consequence to not being who you are; somehow, the truth always comes out.  Okay, let's do this show. Let's get to know these characters. I certainly can't wait.

[pridewhatpride]

omg pls talk more about GX rival shipping once the transfer students come

Dear anon, I love you for asking this of me, but I have to wonder if you want everyone who follows me to start hating me.

Long post coming up? You know it. I apologise to all Johan fans, he's great and I loved him and his deck as a child. Now I'm just salty because he's too perfect. Warning because this is a mess of unrequited feelings and it's an all around bad time if you ship anything in gx. I did mention I do not practice self care in a previous post of mine. Enjoy your pain c:

So here are my bad takes of the day, under the very handy cut!

You see, gx rivalshipping becomes a lot more complicated and angsty when the transfer students arrive. The dynamic changes. If there is a dynamic at all. I mean, imagine yourself in Manjoume's shoes. You've lowkey had a crush on this dumb guy who kind of ruined your life (but actually improved it and freed you from the restraints your family imposed on you), just to watch a handsome scandinavian dude who is a lot more muscular than you are and maybe a little bit nicer, maybe just waltz in and completely captivate said dumb guy's attention. Just when you had managed to admit your own feelings to yourself.

Johan comes in and steals the room, everybody loves him, he's good looking, charismatic, kind and has a magical exclusive shiny sparkling deck at his disposal that he uses as if it was the most natural thing in the world, like he hadn't received approval Pegasus himself on top of the duel spirits. And Judai clearly can't get enough of it, because he's always seeking him out, ever since the duel they had in front of everyone, and Manjoume finds that he's really annoyed by it. He wishes he'd been chosen for the demonstration, deluding himself into believing that if he'd won, Judai would have never started caring so damn much about Johan. But a part of him knows he would have probably lost and that even if he hadn't, Judai would have not cared about the outcome at all. It's nice to think that winning a card game can solve all your problems, but, while Manjoume has only ever experienced how much losing one can mess with your life goals, he isn't stupid enough to think that winning would grant him happiness. Not anymore. No well-thought-out strategy can rid him of his bad temper and his worthless pride.

The thing is, he can't really hate Johan, because nobody can hate Johan. He's just the perfect picture of everything Manjoume isn't and, going by everyone's reaction, the fact that 'everyone is unique in their own way and worthy of love' is absolute bullshit. There clearly is an objective better one of the two and Manjoume is very aware that he isn't it. And he'd probably begrundgingly be cool with it, after all he'd accepted that Jaden was braver than him, that Asuka was emotionally stronger and more resolute, that Daichi was smarter, not to mention how much plain better than him his fomer upperclassmen were. Forget about pros like Edo, whom Judai had stood on equal grounds with. But Judai is clearly playing favourites, too, hell, he hardly even acknowledges Manjoume.

He finds himself forcibly removed from his already shaky position as rival, because now Johan is there to take it up, on top of the titles of 'best friend' and 'emotional support and crutch' and 'maybe something else I'd really rather not know'.

Manjoume just generally hates it all. He might have changed and improved himself, but there is no saving him from the fact that some people were just better. That doesn't stop him from trying. But again he finds himself pitted against Judai, the irony of his fate never giving him a moment to rest. Manipulated and turned into the enemy of those he cares about, again.

A part of him despises how good it feels to learn that Johan has gone missing, but Judai is screaming like his arms have been torn off and while he hates that it's all for Johan, he hates that Judai is in pain even more. Judai had saved him before and it's only right for him to return the favour. So he insists on helping him on his stupidly risky plan to save Johan. And it's all to get the old Judai back.

...The rest, from Manjoume's perspective is a mess. His feelings of anger stem from the hatred he harbours towards himself and the bond between Judai and Johan. He'd been trying to help, he had, he sincerely had, but everything just swirled together and the next thing he knows is that he is shouting at Judai because it suddenly made sense to guilt trip him over the fact that he'd abandoned his friends, he'd abandoned him as soon as someone better had come into the picture. And it was Judai's fault for letting them- him believe that he cared when he didn't, when he couldn't have cared less, because clearly he had one priority only and that was Johan. They had come to help and it still wasn't being appreciated.

Disappearing is a relief, for a moment, but then he finds himself in another hellish place and he can't help but think that it's retribution for being so upset over something that has nothing to do with him. That's right. It's his own fault for making Judai, his only real friend (aside from Fubuki, sorry for breaking the immersion, but I love Fubuki), carry the burden of the stupid hopes that came with his feelings. Judai has no fault. Johan has no fault. It's his own for desiring something that would always be out of reach.

As he is tortured by his own thoughts and regrets in the other dimension, Manjoume silently wishes his words meant nothing to Judai, that he'd be spared the pain of betrayal. He wishes Judai can achieve his goal.

When Shou appears to him, he knows there is no time to waste. If he is alive, the others are, too. Judai would want to know that they are safe. So he asks Shou to carry his message, along with his good luck wish. He hopes it's enough to make up for his mistakes.

Next thing he knows, they are back at DA, Judai is nowhere to be seen. Manjoume mourns the loss of his first and only friend and curses himself for tarnishing that memory. (Judai's return and season 4 would be too much to cover, this was only Manjoume's pov and I might as well just rewrite the entire show at this point.)

So what about Judai?

I personally want to believe that he genuinely does like Manjoume at some point. But as much as it pains me to admit it, season 3 just wrote Manjoume off from the list of main characters and relegated him to 'he's your funny comic relief, nobody really gives a shit about what he thinks or feels, so why should you, the spectator who has grown to love him, care at all? Also here's his sticker that confirms that Judai going after Johan makes him really angry for some reason, make of that what you will c:' (fuck the writing staff, I'm not even sorry).

Judai is so clearly smitten with Johan. It seems to me that his refusal to accept Manjoume's help that one time on the cliff shows that Judai doesn't really understand the way Jun operates. He probably labeled him as just someone else who counted on him to be saved. And sure, Manjoume is saved by Judai in multiple occasions, but he doesn't ever really... ask for it? Or more importantly expect it. He doesn't get himself into situations he can't handle because Judai can save him anyways, the trouble just kind of happens at him and more often than not he's only involved by accident, because he happens to be close to Judai.

The problem still stands, as season 3 starts, Judai is very much burdened by everyone's expectations and Johan is a breath of fresh air and the only one Judai actually considers a friend and an equal. It's heartbreaking that he felt that alone.

They get their gay 'have we met somewhere before moment', they duel gaily, they homoerotically tell eachother how admirable the other is, they shamelessly flirt and whoohoo Judai has an unofficial boyfriend and who can blame him for concentrating on him along with wanting to escape the pressure his former gang unknowingly laid on him.

But yeah, Judai in season 3 has a one track mind and it's hard not to see it as romantic. Does he know it is? Maybe? I honestly don't know. I feel like Johan is the one of the two who is aware of the implications of their interactions. Which also kind of brings me to say... does Johan think that all of Judai's friends are horrible people? Because he never once comments on how Judai distances himself from them once he arrives. He probably thinks they were never good friends in the first place.

Judai probably excuses his attentions towards Johan with the fact that they are alike because they can see spirits, but then he rememebers that so can Manjoume and maybe he feels guilty for a second, but Johan cracks a joke and Judai laughs and thinks to himself that Manjoume is probably happy to have the peace and quiet he so often claimed to want.

Like... I think a part of him would get that tightness in his chest because it's like he's betrayed someone, but he knows he hasn't, because there isn't any actual mutual agreement he's going against. So he lets himself fall deeper into the comfort of Johan's presence. Johan is, to Judai, the ideal person. He is exactly who Judai wants to become. Judai admires him very deeply and strives to be more like him, but he falls gradually into despair as he learns, once Johan is gone, that no, he can't be like him, because Johan is so much better than him, and if he doesn't get him back soon he might even forget what he was like in the first place. Johan can't be erased, can't be forgotten. And Judai feels like he's vanishing already, so he throws himself into a wild interdimensional manhunt to save his hopes for the future.

Turns out that wanting to do good doens't always result in a good outcome. That's what Judai learns when Manjoume lashes out at him just seconds before disappearing. Along with the others, too. Judai doesn't even have the brain power to compute that some people are still there, that he can still save someone, because he realised then that he had focused so much on Johan that he'd completely overlooked the fact that while his friends relied on him a little too much, they hadn't meant any harm. And if he'd just told them, maybe they would have been fine, they could've cooperated- but Manjoume had told him that he was a traitor, that he'd doomed them with his irrational behaviour.

Manjoume's last words to him had been spoken with hatred and Judai realised only then that he had misread him entirely. He lets despair and self hatred take over as he realises that if he had managed to hurt the ones he cared about so easily, discarding them for the new good thing, he could just keep doing that. And it would stop hurting, eventually.

I like to think that Manjoume really does have an impact on the awakening of the Supreme King. Yeah, I know he only turns once Johan's death is mentioned, I know. I just suffer from abandonment issues and can't stand that Manjoume dying in front of him is more impactful to Judai than a guy who literally can't be trusted saying "Joke's on you, the one you're looking for is in another castle already dead."

So yeah. That's the angsty overview.

TL;DR Johan is an Adonis, Judai is smitten and Manjoume is very very heartbroken. But actually so is Judai. Because while being with Johan feels right, there's someone whose absence feels wrong, but he doesn't allow himself to dwell on it and everything goes to shit. All around a bad time for everyone and they'll have a lot of talking to do once they properly reconcile after graduation.

[ae0nx]

COWBOY BOPBEATS NETFLIX SERIES RECAP (EP 4 - 6) - spoilers

EP 1-3 RECAP

- It's even more fucked up that they had someone play Faye's fake mother in the scam. But, I appreciate it hitting harder to the audience than some guy who charmed her - like in the anime

- Wow, those human-to-tree transformations were so gross but so freakin cool and I wanted to get a screencap but any screencap I got wouldn't have done it justice

- Faye really got shot in shoulder and is treating it like whatever. I love this Faye, we deserved this Faye! Oh yeah, and also my favourite connection to the opening song so far is:

- This show really isn't afraid to show Spike being occasionally boujee and fully aware that he's pretty and I'm here. for. it.

LOL WHAT DID YOU PUT YOUR HAND IN, FAYE?!? Best fanservice that I've seen in a while 😂Also, this screencap makes a great 'Draw Your Squad'.

- I really love how they took full advantage of physical sets and exploring interesting places to film in New Zealand. They really kept to making the show a liveable, believable and real universe full of real life in a wacky reality. It's been great.

- I also adore how much they kept the chunky and metallic 90s tech and have almost used it as a way of identifying who's upper class and who's lower class. (Upper class/the rich generally having sleeker and cleaner tech and lower class having the chunky, greyer tech)

Awww, this time it's Faye waking up from the almost coma and Spike being at her bedside! <333 (No, I totally don't ship Spike and Faye! 🤥). I really liked their moment and I even liked their mini-slumber party in episode 5! The Bebop crew are so much nicer to each other in this series and I really love it! It really solidifies their found family-isms.

Also, I'm starting to notice the difference in representation of emotional beats in this series compared to the anime. All the emotional beats in this series feel very easy to read and understand because it's all on the surface... there's nothing hidden. And while I appreciate how the anime requires you to do your own investigating about emotional scenes (cos it's more fun that way I guess), there's something a little refreshing about the characters just fully stating their emotional thoughts and intentions for once.

It does feel very slice-of-life Bebop right now, but I have no problem with that as those are my favourite Bebop moments.

- Jet always gets the short-end of the stick... I already feel like he's the character who lost the most by the end of the anime and this doesn't make me feel any better :(

- Faye and Spike really are a disaster couple but I still can't help but <33333 😍

- Ahhh my Queen... Rachel House!! She's great in everything I've seen her in and she kills it as Mao

- I love the decisions that Alex Hassell is making in the way he plays Vicious to stop him from being a complete 'british villain' stereotype. But yeah, Vicious is still batshit. His reactions to the mere mention of Spike are hilarious

- The more I see the Jet episode play out, the more I'm just like... 'you never saw that coming, huh?'. But tbh, it'd make sense if this iteration of Jet would be that willing to trust despite the obvious red flags.

- Chalmers being a nice asshole really got to me. I feel itchy.

- 'Adieu' playing as Julia realises Spike is alive? 🤌🏾😘

- I still don't know if my feelings about Julia have changed from the anime, I still don't really find her too compelling so far?

I LOVE IT. I'M SURE WE ALL LOVE IT. FAYE KEEPS WINNING IN THIS SHOW. AND I'M HERE FOR IT. <3 🏳️‍🌈

- John Cho and Elena Satine really sell the romance between Spike and Julia really well, which honestly was needed. I just want a reason to really care about Julia.

- Jet and the Lesbians sounds like a dope band name.

- You're not gonna rip off that baby's fingers, Jet lmao

EP 7-10 RECAP

[fanficshiddles]

Trust, Chapter 5

When Loki returned, it was the middle of the night. He was confused to see that it looked like all the lights were on in the house, it was like the Blackpool Illuminations.

He got out of the ship and had to blast a few creatures away from around the house. More of them ran scurrying back into the barley, eyes glaring at him. He frowned, that wasn’t so good if they had emerged from the barley.

Trying the door, he found it locked. He tried knocking, but Darcy didn’t answer. Using his Seidr he had the door unlock, as he stepped inside and shut the door behind him, he found Darcy leaping out from the side and she started hitting him. But it barely felt like a cat pawing at his arm.

‘You bastard! You left me here all alone!’ She snarled angrily as she kept hitting him.

‘I wasn’t long, I told you I had to nip out.’ He said, amused at the tiny mortal trying to hurt him.

‘IT’S DARK! YOU SAID YOU WOULDN’T BE LONG! THOSE CREEPY ASS MONSTERS WERE TRYING TO GET IN!’ Darcy screeched at him.

Loki could hear some genuine fear within her voice too. He grabbed her wrists tightly and stopped her from hitting him.

‘Well, well, well. The brave, and seemingly fearless, Darcy does in-fact get scared?’ He smirked.

‘Of fucking course I was scared! You left me here all alone for bloody ages and without you I’d have no way of getting anymore food or off this planet.’

Loki was rather impressed that she admitted she was scared.

‘I may have forgot that time on this planet goes slower than anywhere else… so while I was only away for two of your mortal hours, it was a lot longer to you.’ He said sheepishly and let go of her wrists, glad when she didn’t try hitting him again. ‘I apologise for that, Darcy. It also makes sense why the Greyls came closer, they thrive on fear so will have picked up on that.’

Darcy’s mouth fell open, she couldn’t believe it. ‘Un-fucking believable. NOW he tells me all the important shit!’ She turned around and started walking away from him, throwing her hands up in the air.

-

‘What exactly is that?’

‘What is what?’ Loki asked, looking over at Darcy with a frown.

She was at the table, Loki had just been sitting crossed legged on the floor again. He seemed like he had been in a trance again.

‘When you go into that weird trance. Last time your face looked like it was going to burn off.’

Loki sighed and rolled his eyes. ‘You wouldn’t understand.’

‘Try me.’

His jaw clenched as he stood and made his way over towards her. He sat down opposite her and clasped his hands together as he stared at her.

‘Do you really want to know?’ He asked.

‘I wouldn’t have asked otherwise.’ Darcy snarked.

Loki sighed. ‘Alright then. If you must know, I am trying to get the tesseract back for Thanos so he doesn’t snap my neck in half. When I go into those ‘trances’ as you call it, I am communicating with one of his minions. My supposed handler. Thanos is apparently getting antsy, impatient. I fear that if your team doesn’t hurry up, I will be out of time.’

Darcy’s mouth fell open, Loki could almost see her tonsils.

‘I… I had no idea. Dude, I thought you just wanted it for yourself, not because your life was in danger!’

‘Well, now you know.’ Loki shrugged.

He watched her carefully when she got up from her chair and walked over to Loki, she put her arms around him and actually hugged him. He froze on the spot, confused at her affection as she put her cheek on top of his head.

‘You poor thing. Having to make do with me. You’ve got no chance of getting the tesseract through me.’

Loki frowned, but still didn’t move. Why was this mortal hugging him?

She let go and stood up straight, tapping her lower lip she had an idea.

‘Look. I don’t believe you want to hurt me, I know you’d have done it by now.’ She started pacing back and fore. ‘But the Avengers won’t swap me for the tesseract, that’s for certain. I’m sure if Thor knew that the purple grape was still threatening you, he would see your side of it.’

Loki’s lips tugged into a smirk at her nickname for Thanos. ‘You know of Thanos?’

‘Yep. Thor explained he was the reason behind you attacking New York. But none of us had any idea that he still had control over you.’

‘He doesn’t.’ Loki snapped.

Darcy stopped pacing and folded her arms over her chest. ‘He clearly does. He’s threatened your life, that’s the highest level of control.’

Loki narrowed his eyes at her. But he realised that she was right…

‘You told me not to think so little of myself. But I think you should take your own advice. You said you’ve always felt like you were in Thor’s shadow. Why not change that, show people who you truly are. That you don’t do what other people tell you. Don’t let Thanos scare you into doing something you don’t want to do.’

Loki tilted his head slightly, thinking hard. ‘There is just one problem. Thanos and his people are far too powerful, they would find me. Eventually. No matter where I go. And as strong as you may think I am, I would not be able to defeat them alone.’

‘So, don’t fight them alone.’ Darcy said, hands on her hips.

‘Who, pray tell, do you suggest would help me?’

A big smile spread across her face.

‘No… No, no, no.’ He wagged his finger at her and abruptly stood, walking away from her. ‘I know what you’re thinking.’

Darcy followed him. ‘Come on! I know you don’t think much of them, but they managed to kick your ass and all those aliens. I’m sure together, they could help protect you and fight off Thanos.’

Loki walked over to the window and stood there, staring out. Hands balled into fists at his side. He saw Darcy’s reflection pop out from behind him.

‘You know it makes sense, Loki.’

‘They would never help me anyway. They will just lock me up. Or worse, send me back to Asgard.’

‘Not if you hand yourself in voluntarily. Explain to them what happened. Tell them about a bigger threat than you to Earth! Hell, if you get Thanos off your back then maybe, just maybe, you could show Earth your nicer side. Get some of us mortals on side and we might just elect you for president or something.’ Darcy said, clutching at straws now.

Loki raised an eyebrow and turned to face her.

‘That could happen?’

‘Sure.’ She shrugged. ‘I mean, surely you couldn’t do worse than our current president.’

‘They will never believe me.’ Loki shook his head.

He hadn’t wanted to admit it before, but he truly was stuck. He didn’t want to be under Thanos’ rule. He never did in the first place. But the thought of grovelling to the Avengers for help made him feel sick. And Darcy knew that, she could tell.

‘Don’t think of it as asking them for help. Think of it as… trying a new tactic.’

‘Expand.’ Loki folded his arms over his chest.

‘Think about it. How annoyed would Thor be if you were able to do things he can’t. If you end up gaining a fan base on Earth, for helping people. Redeeming yourself.’ Darcy started getting excited at the thought as she talked. ‘You could become the favourite Avenger! It would be easy. You have the brains, unlike Thor. You have the built-in strength, unlike Stark who has to wear a suit for that. You’ve got agility and grace, unlike Bruce. Then there’s all your magic-ey stuff. The whole package!’

Loki grinned cockily and nodded. ‘Well, that is true. It wouldn’t take long for mortals to see I am their best hope.’

‘Exactly. And you’d have the back up of the others if Thanos does come looking for you.’ Darcy put her hands behind her back and crossed her fingers, hoping all this sweet talking would work.

Sure, she wanted to go back home. She knew convincing Loki to hand himself in was likely her only hope, as she knew for a fact they wouldn’t come and rescue her. They didn’t even know where she was. But there was a part of her too that genuinely wanted to help Loki. Even though he had kidnapped her, he hadn’t been mean to her. She’d seen an oddly vulnerable side to him and she felt that, for some weird reason, he understood her. He could’ve been mean to her, belittled her. He didn’t know her and had no obligation to her either. But he had been rather kind and supportive.

‘You certainly know how to stroke a God’s ego. I know exactly what you’re doing, Darcy.’ Loki said, eyeing her carefully. But he smiled. ‘But it’s also all true. However, as soon as I get off the ship they will lock me up, like I said.’

‘Maybe at first, but then you can talk to them. Besides, I’ll have your back.’ She smiled genuinely up at him.

‘And why would you help me?’

‘Because you’re the first person to not see so little in me.’

Loki felt a slight kick to the gut. He could relate to that, a lot.

He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. ‘This is a ridiculous idea.’

‘But a brilliant idea.’ Darcy countered.

‘I really hope I’m not going to regret this.’

[honesthammie]

4th prompt part 2

The silence was appreciated as your mind wrapped up today's event. You had met your soulmate in a goddess of a woman. Everything you had discovered so far was perfect. You watched as she pulled a metal disk and metal stick from her pockets. The metal stick made a strange buzzing sound and glowed a faint orange at the tip as she hovered over the disk.

"What are you doing?" You asked after watching her in curiosity for a few moments. You would've let her continue as her face was quite the sight. Her eyes were sparkling with intent and her nose had the most adorable scrunch.

She stopped for a moment as you spoke as if thinking on what to say before continuing. "I'm scanning for any spider eggs in the building so we can take them with the other spiders to a planet of their own. A planet without civilisation but full to the brim with creatures they can eat. I think, the fam got them all. No, fam still doesn't seem right. The team does sound better!"

"A planet? What, are you some kind of alien?"

"Yes. Would that be a problem?" She asked. From the way her eyes sparkled, I believed her. Great, no wonder why she seemed so ethereal! So when I say, she's out of this world, it'd be a fact and not a flirtatious comment! For fuck sake, that's one of my best lines as well! Maybe I could use it when the time is right?

"Nope. After the discoveries of my life recently, that's actually the most believable thing. Please don't ask yet. However, those spider babies trust me. You aren't going to get them to listen without me. I spent at least a full 5 hours with them, they trust me more than you. Come on little Miss Sunshine, hop to it, the spiders won't wait forever." I spoke with confidence. I knew she knew, she needed me. That's why she followed me. "I'm (y/n) by the way"

"Great name! Love that name, was always one of my favourites. I've always fancied myself as a (y/n) but the faces never seem to fit it. I'm normally a John but I can't be now I'm a woman. Why don't you give me an alias for when I'm undercover?"

"Hmmm. I quite liked the name Alice and you certainly suit that name. Is there a name people call you when you aren't undercover. What do family call you?"

"Alice. I love that! I'm keeping Smith. Alice Smith. Perfect! Knew you'd be the one to help me. People tend to call me the Doctor. So do I for some reason. Wish I knew why."

This cute blonde alien was more mysterious the more we talked. She told me of how her ship goes in time as well as in space. She told me of the time of when she met Robin Hood with an older face and a companion named Clara. All this talk and I wasn't bothered once by it. I could listen and watch her all day as she talks about adventures she's been on. She puts all the theatrics on and waves her arms about with so much passion and her eyes show her emotions so clearly. But I also saw age. If she's older than she looks, just how old is she? Not that it bothers me, it's just, if she's like hundreds of years old, she's probably had other lovers and I don't know if plain old me can compete with that.

Sooner than we realised, we came towards a blue Police box. She clicked her fingers and waltzed right in. This must be her TARDIS. I walked inside with awe. The ship was beautiful inside. Like a gem hidden as an ore. The golden and blue lights perfectly reflected her personality.

"It's fucking massive Sunshine! Ya didn't warn me about walking into a football field! No wonder why thousands of spiders seemed no problem! Fucking hell!" I stated as my eyes scanned the room in front of me. Then I felt a little tug on my right trouser leg. I looked down and saw a little spider wanting my attention. I bent down and picked him up. He seemed happy to be held like that so I kept him in that position as I wondered towards the Doctor.

I had so many questions I wanted to know and I'm sure she has too. But now was not the time for that. We needed to get these spiders to their new home. I continued to watch the Doctor as she danced around something she called a console. She was pressing buttons and pulling levers and many more things until the ship made a strange wheezing noise and I was thrown off my feet. Thankfully I was caught by someone. I looked up and saw an oldish man.

"Hello Love! I can tell this your first time here. We all fell down when she first did that with us. You learn to find something to grab onto. I'm Graham by the way." Graham spoke gently but loudly over the noise of the ship. I couldn't help but giggle, my grandad used to call me Love too.

Then as quick as the ship started, it came to a gentle stop. I looked around and notice the same 2 people from earlier. The girl was smiling and laughing to something the boy mentioned. They must be old friends. I then noticed the Doctor walk towards the doors and open them just enough for her to check outside.

"Right (n/n). I'm calling you that as we are friends now. Go on, it's your first new planet and you care about these spiders more than we do so I think it's best if you check everything it perfect for them!" The Doctor spoke with excitement. She even clapped her hands for a moment, obviously not being able to control the surge of energy running through her.

I held the spider in my arms and the doors opened in front of me. I closed my eyes for a moment as the light blinded me temporarily. I could feel the warmth of a sun and the cool breeze the gently whipped past your face giving you the perfect cooling needed. The planet smelled sweet yet sour like Toxic waste sweets. I could hear many creatures making strange noises, some were doing a high pitched growl and some others were doing deep scream. Then there were nicer sounds like birds tweeting but in a lower key and something sounded like a piano, specifically an old ragtime piano.

I slowly opened my eyes and noticed the silver sky and its 4 suns in each direction. I noticed that the high pitched growl was from a small flying frog like creature and the deep scream was from a big rabbit- horse like creature that was just chewing the purple leaves off the metal looking trees. The bird like sound belonged to a small Robin like creature, but instead of a red chest it was a beautiful blue hue and it had silver eyes that sparkled just right. The Ragtime piano sound belonged to a dog-raccoon like creature that scampered away with its mouth full of the fallen berries that the rabbit-horse dropped from the leaves. The grass beneath was as black as ink and the pond to the right of me was a strange red colour.

"Well what do ya think? I personally think it's perfect but you seem to know these arachnids better than me so, I could be wrong, although, I'm not often" The Doctor spoke with eagerness. I noticed her looking at me as I took in the world around me. Why does this feel all too familiar to me? Why do I like the escapism of Earth? Why is this so, freeing?

I took a deep breath in. "Its perfect Doc. The spiders will love it here! They'll adapt pretty quickly I believe. The creatures are big enough to satisfy them. Although the sounds are a little off putting." I put the spider in my arms in the oddly cotton soft grass and watched as the thousands of others followed in its footsteps. Some carried the baby spiders and others carried the eggs. They had already found a cave to lay the eggs and started weaving some webs within 10 minutes.

Once I was happy with everything, I said my goodbyes and entered the strange ship once more. I could feel fresh tears sting my eyes like tiny hot needles. I get so attached so quickly and I noticed the string warm up and I checked on my soulmate, she was looking at me with an all too familiar look, the look of complete adoration. So the string tells me when her love for me evolves until we kiss? I mean, that's when it disappears for everyone else.

"This was great Sunshine! I had a ride of a lifetime, I really did. So I guess, you can drop me off home, I'm probably not wanted and I don't wanna ruin your team dynamic here."

"Why on Earth would you think that? I was actually wondering if you'd like to join us. Those spiders trusted you and having someone like you would really make the adventures more thrilling. Besides, I really like you and there's something special about you and I can't place my finger on it. I don't like not knowing things. If I drop these off home for a bit, would you mind if I ran some tests on you?"

"Really? Sure. I don't mind. I actually wanna know aswell. You see, I know what's special but I don't want to tell you in front of the others, its a bit embarrassing." I asked whilst blushing. She nodded her head and set the TARDIS coordinates to Sheffield. The Doctor promised she'd be back in a week and set the TARDIS to float in our solar system whilst she got to work on me.

We walked into what I can assume is some sort of med Bay. The walk had conversations about the last planet and how we thought the spiders would adjust. Eventually she sat me down on a white bed.

"So, you said you knew why you were special. I don't like cliffhangers so I'll give you a custard cream if you tell me." She said as she got a paper document and waited for me to speak.

"I don't know how or why but have you ever heard of the red string of fate story?" I asked, wondering how to word this without sounding weird. She nodded her head in understanding. "Well, when I turned 16, I could see everyone's red strings. The world was covered in red. I was confused at first until I read that story."

"Hmm. That is interesting because all stories have some truth to them. Some are exaggerated and some are exactly as said. Well that story is a good example of that. Thousands of years ago, there were 2 species of human, homo sapiens and homo spectrians. Spectrians were low on numbers in population as they'd spend almost all their life playing match maker. You'd know Spectrians as Cupids. However when battles and wars happened, Cupids were out of a job as everyone had to focus on the country and not themselves. This is where arranged marriages started happening and Cupids were becoming depressed. Eventually the Cupids decided to blend in with the humans and became virtually extinct. You might be the only Cupid left in the universe, other than Valentine himself." She explained it so well.

"Can Cupids see their own string?" I asked. She paused for a moment. Her eyes flickered between heartbroken and hopeful. I felt the string flicker between cold and toasty warm just like her eyes.

"No. Cupids weren't supposed to have soulmates. But I guess you are technically half human so maybe that makes sense. Do you know who your soulmate is?"

"She's amazing. She's like a Goddess. When I first saw her I immediately thought, She's too fucking perfect for someone like me. She incredibly smart too but, can be oblivious. I mean, I only met her a few hours ago and I'm fucking smitten with her. She reminds me of sunshines and rainbows. I'm just waiting for her to make a move." I told her. She looked at me for a moment, processing this new information. She smirked for a moment once she figured it out.

"Well my soulmate had me wrapped around her finger the second she jumped in front of a spider to save her life. A bold move like that normally makes me mad but, she did it so well. I haven't known her long but I can see me being by her side forever, travelling the stars. She reminds me of those stars actually. The way she sparkles in the light. I love you (y/n) with both of my hearts." She spoke softly as we slowly leaned in. When she finished, she planted her soft lips on mine and the red string was gone. Not that I noticed until an hour later when we picked the team up and held hands to announce our relationship.

Maybe dating a sunshine is exactly who I needed.

[theyaskedmeto]

It’s six o’clock in the morning, you’re not having vodka.

For which ever ship you want

to forgive you

part of the everything means everything verse

pairing: kurt x blaine

summary: the night before, blaine stood kurt up. this is how they forgive each other.

read on ao3 or read the rest of these little fic prompt fills here

———————

He waited for ages. They don’t usually do stuff like that; go on dates and act like a ‘real’ couple should - normally they just make out under the bleachers instead of going to class, or try to escape dinner and find themselves at Scandals, the shitty gay bar on the outskirts of Lima. But it was their five-month anniversary, and, even though it wasn’t exactly a significant amount of months, Kurt does sometimes feel like they could be doing more for each other.

So, they arranged it - not anything major - just a small meet up at their park again - just wearing slightly nicer clothes this time.

And when Kurt arrived that night, nothing happened.

He waited for so long. That’s the problem when you’re in love - suddenly you feel so much more optimistic about everything. You’ve spent so long hating yourself and wishing you were living another life and then suddenly, this person comes into it and changes everything. Makes everything okay again. And then you start to think, well, if I could achieve that, can’t I handle everything else? And sometimes it just… gets out of hand.

And that’s what Kurt did - he got too optimistic. He spent too much time in that park that night, holding on to the last drop of hope until it escaped from his fingers and he was quickly filled with feelings of hurt and anger. Then eventually, he called Blaine.

“I’m so sorry, babe,” Blaine had said, “it’s just… my mom’s going on another stupid holiday again tomorrow. And she won’t let me out. She said she ‘wants me all to herself’. Not that she even cares.”

“So you couldn’t even fucking text me?” And Kurt was already shouting at him by then. He couldn’t stop himself. He was angry and it was cold, and the halterneck crop top and skinny jeans he was wearing did not keep him warm.

Blaine was hardly listening. He hung up on him.

And Kurt walked home, shivering, lonely, and wishing he had a cigarette right then.

*

Sometimes, Kurt wonders when Blaine will stop throwing stones at his window to get Kurt’s attention from inside and just use the actual front door because believe it or not, he does care about what his dad will do if his temperamental boyfriend smashes the glass. But when Blaine does it for what feels like the one-hundredth time, the sounds sort of make him laugh - it’s a reminder of his boyfriend now, how they met, how everything built up to this. And it’s also nearly six in the morning during the summer holidays, and Kurt hasn’t even been awake at this time since graduation, so his brain isn’t exactly functioning yet.

Well, he would be happier with Blaine’s appearance if he didn’t stand him up last night.

Under his breath and eyes still sealed shut, he sleepily mumbles, “What the fuck do you want?” and stumbles out of bed, duvet flopping onto the floor as he moves towards the noise. He squints his eyes because the sun has already started to rise, and peers out the window where Blaine is standing there - almost stumbling, even - with a bottle of vodka in hand and a rather exaggerated expression on his face.

Blaine sees his figure through the window, and he shouts, words a little slurred and voice cracking, “Kurt!” and his hands shoot up in the air desperately, liquid in the bottle he’s holding sloshing around precariously.

It’s almost hysterical - he’s drunk, it’s six AM on a Thursday morning, and Blaine’s there with those desperate eyes and stumbling on the sidewalk, and Kurt has to wake up more because he is going to get himself fucking hurt and it will be my problem.

But if anything happens to you—

Kurt opens the window, blinks more as his eyes adjust to the growing sunlight, “Blaine? What the fuck is going on?”

“Kurt!” Blaine shouts again, “I wanna…” he stops for a moment, searching. “I’m drunk.” he finally says, struggling to find the right words after thinking about them for a while, “Please! I’m sorry for what I did.”

He looks like a fucking mess - his hair is tousled over his forehead - his eyes are partially hidden but Kurt can still see the dark circles under them. There are stains on his white shirt, and that signature leather jacket thrown on over it. He looks a fucking mess.

How does he still look hot?

He’s stumbling more, and there is a small bit in Kurt that panics because if anything happens to him— but mostly he’s angry because it’s fucking six in the morning and he was sleeping and his boyfriend is just there, drunk on the sidewalk, and Kurt doesn’t know what to say.

He settles on, “God, what the hell are you doing out there?”

Blaine gives an incredibly over-exaggerated guilty expression, looks around himself as if to say, what do I know?

He sighs, “Please, Kurt. I need— can you… please… let me in?”

Kurt stares at him - his eyes still feel like they could shut with the lack of sleep (he was up reading until two AM) - stares at his boyfriend, can’t even comprehend him for a single moment. He doesn’t know how Blaine can do this; how can Blaine seem like a fucking loser and stand him up and Kurt still has to love him?

Because every day he wakes up and thinks of him. Cares about him. God— he doesn’t know what he’d do if something happened to him, and yet Kurt is still so aware of how fucking shit he can be.

But then he’s also aware of the pain, the hurt Blaine had to go through to be here, to be in this state, and he thinks about his own pain, too. God, he misses the time when he didn’t really give a shit about anything. And now, Blaine…

Is still standing on the sidewalk with that bottle of vodka in his hand and Kurt wants to hate him but he can’t, because there’s a pulling in his heart and it sings Blaine.

Back to the moment, and Kurt raises his eyebrows, rolls him eyes as he leans on the windowsill. He sighs, and his eyes are just focused on his boyfriend for a moment, then says, “Fine. I’ll let you in.”

*

He has to walk down the stairs quietly because even though he’d love to be an adult with complete free-reign over his life, he’s not. And his dad will kill him if he sees Blaine’s here at five fifty-two in the morning, not that he’s ever that happy with seeing Blaine over at his at all, especially after Burt knows what Blaine did to his son last night.

For a moment, he thinks about whether he should get changed but then remembers that his boyfriend is literally standing there, drunk on the pavement in the clothes he always wears and it doesn’t mean a thing, and he doesn;t deserve it anyway.

But Blaine still needs to be safe.

He opens the front door, and there Blaine is: leaning on the porch railing, so obviously drunk it’s absurd. Kurt doesn’t hesitate to grab his hand and drag him inside, muttering under his breath, “Jesus fucking christ Blaine, I actually— what the hell were you thinking?”

Blaine, now considerably closer to Kurt after he’s grabbed his arm, slurs, consonants fading into each other from the effects of the drink, “Dunno. Got bored,” he nestles further into the crevice between Kurt’s shoulder and neck and Kurt knows he’s lying. “Hmmmm,” he moans lightly out of contentment, “‘s warm here.”

“Okay, then. Come on,” Kurt says, still not being able to really believe the situation at hand, still angry at him, and hauls him up the stairs, “There’s only… twelve steps. Come on.” He says again, and Blaine has basically plastered himself against Kurt now, groaning, “‘s just… stay here.”

“No, Blaine. Come on. Twelve steps. And I’m fucking tired, so you should be thanking me for even letting you in after last night.”

“I said I was sorry!” Blaine argues back, then says, as if he’s completely forgotten the conversation, “Were you… trying to read Mrs— Miss—” Blaine lets out a humph and gives up trying to pronounce the correct word, “You were reading Dalloway again.” He slurs, and Kurt can feel his weight on him getting heavier, and god they really need to get up these stairs.

“It was only until one. Now. Come. On…” Kurt urges him again, giving his arm another tug. He really is too tired for this right now.

After a rather large amount of struggle, they make it to the top, and Kurt’s pretty amazed they haven’t even woken his dad yet. They stumble into his room, and the minute Blaine sees the bed he flops onto it, still holding the bottle of vodka. After realising he still has it, Kurt snatches it off him, says, “Why were you even up at this time, Blaine? God, even for you this is a stretch.”

“I wasn’t—” Blaine starts, words still slurred, “I woke up. At five.”

“And?”

“Was thinking about you. Couldn’t… couldn’t get back to s—sleep.”

“So you drank nearly a whole bottle of vodka.”

Blaine sighs melodramatically, “Yeah. Look, Kurt, it’s not— my mom’s not in town.” he says, as if that’s a perfect excuse. “I dunno. Then I thought of you. I’m so sorry.”

Kurt hesitates slightly, “You thought of me?”

“Yeah. ‘Bout how much I… care about you.”

“...I… care about you too,” Kurt says, as it’s hardly coherent he does - voice just above a whisper, like saying it louder would make the words so much harder to come to terms with. He knows Blaine will understand, even when he’s drunk, that those words are an acceptance of his apology.

It’s so weird, sometimes, because on the outside, around others, Blaine is just… different. And then when he’s with Kurt he’s so sweet, so soft and giving, and sometimes Kurt loses himself in it.

There are still so many hurdles to cross before Kurt can fully comprehend this - what he and Blaine have together - this sudden love that fell on Kurt’s shoulders so quickly. But it’s not a burden. Hardly anything but that, really. Every time he spends with Blaine it feels lighter, and it’s just something he doesn’t understand. How can one person make another feel that way?

They’re staring at each other for a moment, just falling into the other’s eyes again. And it’s nice. But thinking about this so deeply, this connection, Kurt finds himself becoming very aware of it. So he takes a deep breath in as if to say, anyway… and comments, “You need a new shirt. And we need to sleep. Take one of mine.”

Kurt throws a random T-shirt at Blaine, who huffs and toes off his shoes. Kurt has to help with removing his jeans and top and putting on the one Kurt has given him. Kurt doesn’t try and hide his blatant staring.

When Kurt slides into bed with Blaine he pipes up again, “Can I have the bottle back yet?”

Kurt tries not to laugh, “Blaine. You’re not having more vodka. It’s six AM.”

From somewhere inside the covers Kurt’s pretty sure Blaine mumbles, “Fuck you.” but he’s not too sure. He can’t stop the giggles that erupt from his chest.

With the curtains drawn and the sun only half seeping its way into the room, they fall asleep again, with half of Kurt wondering how he will be able to hide Blaine from his dad when they wake up again, and half of him not caring at all, just being here, wrapped in the blankets with his stupid, beautiful boyfriend, and forgives him.

[amazingorangedangantrash]

I'll have 1, 4, 18, 24, and 29 with kamuegi for the shipping meme ask please!

Ask anon, and thou shalt recieve!

1. Who makes the first move, and how?

Kamukura. Whilst he isn't the type to rush into things (he likes to think his actions through), he also isn't one to hesitate either. To him, Naegi would be one of few people who he finds... endearing. I think after spending some time together, Kamukura would realise he likes this person. The idea of having a 'friend' is weird enough as it is, so, hey, why not take it a step further? He's always looking for new stimulation, new experiences, and he isn't exactly going to get romance out of his teachers is he?

I imagine once Kamukura comes to the conclusion he wants to try dating Naegi, it's a blunt and quick confession. Jsjdjsshsj I imagine the two of them are just like chilling or eating lunch or something and Kamukura is just like, "Naegi, go out with me" and poor Naegi is just like "yeah oka- wait what-?"

And, well, Naegi likes Kamukura and hey, he's not going to say no to that but wow is this guy forward

4. Who can't keep their hands to themselves?

Once again, I'd have to say Kamukura. He's not pervy or anything like that, but at the same time if he's certain he wants to do something, he'll do it, without reservation.

(And if that something is pulling Naegi close to him and cuddling with him then so be it.)

Whilst I imagine he'd be a little shy about physical contact at first (not that he'd admit that to himself), once he gets the hang of it he adores it. I take him as the kind of guy who's actions speak louder then his words, so he'd convey his feelings with little, subtle displays of affection, like taking Naegi's hand into his, pulling him close, resting his head on his shoulder etc. (All completely straight-faced of course, but, uh- that's part of his charm.)

I also like to think Kamukura is quite possessive too (he won't admit it, but romance is completely foreign to him, and for the first time he's actually scared of getting it wrong-), so when he's around people he might feel threatened by or uncomfortable around (either fellow students in a pre-despair AU or future foundation members in a post-tragedy AU), he finds himself latching onto Naegi more. It's a mixture between sending the signal that Naegi is his, and also a desire to hold him close, out of a subconscious fear of him being taken away.

Naegi is physically affectionate too, but I actually think he'd be a little more shy about it in public- (he's happy to kiss Kamukura, but the other man always seems to want to make a show of it in front of their peers...) once they're alone, however, he reciprocates just as much. Moreso once he realises Kamukura's love language- they can spend hours with Kamukura's head in his lap, with Naegi running his fingers through his hair comfortingly.

18. When they fight, how do they make up?

Ooh good one! Hmm... I get the feeling that, especially at the start of their relationship, there'd be quite a few misunderstandings and conflicts. Kamukura isn't just new to romance, he's new to- well- being human. There's bound to be some uh... roadblocks in their relationship.

Kamukura is talented, as we know. But he's not so good at expressing himself- feelings are something foreign to him, a being made from numbers and statistics. Whilst he could try to bribe Naegi, with meaningless words or gifts, he knows that's not want Naegi wants. It's more important to him that they understand the root of the problem, and why they fought. If it was really a serious fight, he'll do something that doesn't come easy to him- try to sit with Naegi and talk it out. Kamukura is Logic, Naegi is Emotion- they complement each other, yes, but they also have trouble understanding each other too, so they try to work on their communication.

Each time, they learn a bit more about how the other ticks, and their relationship only grows stronger for it. (If it's not so much a serious fight, Kamukura will give gifts and use small gestures to convey his apology instead- he doesn't say sorry often, choosing to reserve it for the moments he feels he's truly Done Wrong).

Naegi will probably need space at first- and then he'll feel guilty about jumping to conclusions and leaving. Once he's had time to let the intial anger and upset simmer, and his head is clearer, he'll try to think about why what just happened did. Naegi is a person who's quick to forgive, so, regardless of who (if either) of them is in the wrong, he'll want to make up soon as possible. Depending on what the argument was about, he'll either give Kamukura a bit of time, letting the other think, or go back to find him straight away. Naegi is much more verbal in his apologies- they aren't any less genuine, it's just how he communicates. He'll apologise about how he reacted, and will promise to try and keep his cool next time. He wants this relationship to work, and wants them to sit and talk about it- if it's about something Kamukura is uncomfortable with, then he'll be okay with giving him time, and apologise for pushing. He'll sit with him, holding him tight, and will clear out his schedule the next day, so the two of them can spend time together uninterrupted.

24. Where do they first have sex?

Abdjsjdj you guys really like this question huh?

Once again, I imagine Kamukura (once he decides that, yes, Sex is a Thing He Wants To Try) is the first to initiate- the idea, anyway. I can't imagine any highschooler having anything sex-related as their ultimate talent (Ultimate Matchmaker, Ultimate Romantic at most), nothing explicit anyway, so whilst he'd know the common stuff, his general attitude towards it would be more or less the same as everything else.

Ahdhsj I can imagine him after some careful consideration, randomly coming out with, "Naegi, I want to have sex with you", and Naegi, dropping his spoon into his third bowl of cereal like-

"Wh- I- right now-?"

And, well, like, he isn't entirely against the idea, he'd be lying if he said he hadn't had... certain... ideas about his boyfriend and sure he's considered potential developments in their relationship, and Kamukura is coming really close now, and he's looking down at him with that really hot determined gaze he has whenever he's invested in something, like Naegi is just another one of his experiments for Kamukura to do so with as he pleases and shit that sounds really hot and they're kissing and-

"Waitwaitwait wait- let's talk about this first!"

And then they're seated on the couch- Naegi considerably redder then he was before, and Kamukura with a near unnoticeable pink tinge to his cheeks.

"Naegi, I don't believe this is how sex-"

"Yes I'm aware of that."

Anyway because Naegi is a Good Boy, and because I'd hate to disappoint my Year 10 sex ed teacher, they have a long, important talk about consent first- does Kamukura really want this? He's not doing it because it's what society expects right? Because, well, Naegi isn't adverse to sex, not all all, but he doesn't want Kamukura to feel pressured into anything, because, he remembers Kamukura told him before he wasn't really attracted to anyone- not like that? So, um, he doesn't have to go out of his way to try and please Naegi if it's not something he wants himself. Naegi is totally okay with not having a sexual relationship-!

And then Kamukura is taking his face into his hands and oh- he's kissing him, long and hard and deep and really it isn't quite fair that he can be this good at this kind of thing when he hasn't even had any experience so someone must be lying about their talent because there's no way he can be so perfect all by himself-

"Naegi."

Kamukura's gaze locks onto his own, and Naegi feels his breath hitch in his throat as he sees the pure desire in those burning ruby orbs, embers set alight.

"I want it."

(If anyone asks why the sofa seems to have been replaced from the last time they saw it, Naegi will cough slightly and look to the side, muttering something about a leak in the ceiling, and Kamukura will shrug, the tiniest, littlest of smirks dancing at the corners of his lips.)

29. Why do they fall a little bit more in love?

*incomprehensible sobbing noises* oh geez where do i even start-?

For Naegi, it's seeing this side to Kamukura he shows to no one else. And, sure, he'd love it if people were a little nicer, a bit more understanding, that, hey, he is human. But- yet- there's something special, about being the only one. The only one who sees what Kamukura looks like when he wakes, the slight furrow to his brow, the way his movements are just slightly slower then usual. He gets to see the little twitch of Kamukura's lips when he's amused, see the softening of his expression. Normally no one notices when Kamukura is nervous, but he does, he feels it in the way the other's grip tightens around his hand, how his gaze flutter ever-so-slightly to the side, eyes widening a fraction.

He remembers the first time he hears Kamukura laugh- laugh! Kamukura! Laughing! And it's such a strange sound, those silky smooth soft tones rising in pitch, sharp notes, unfamiliar and hesitant drifting into the air.

Makoto thinks it's the most beautiful sound he's ever heard.

Every time Kamukura shows Naegi another part to him, the part of him that's not 'the science project Ultimate Hope', but Izuru Kamukura, the human, Naegi falls a little bit more in love.

He wants to see it all- he wants to see Kamukura laugh, and cry, and blush, and shout, and smile, and sing, and even if he doesn't do any of these things, and keeps that blank face on forever, it's fine, because Naegi knows he's still the only one who gets to receive Kamukura's love, however he shows it, and he wouldnt have it any other way.

Kamukura loves what Naegi teaches him.

He can't do complex equations in the span of a second, or sculpt a masterpiece in minutes, or invent an experiment in hours or publish a book in a week.

But he does what no one had ever tried to teach Kamukura before, and it's- its-

It's how to live.

Naegi teaches him what it means to be human. To live his life, instead of pass through it numbly.

Naegi finds worth in everything, and, to someone like Kamukura who can't find the worth in anything, he's-

He is perfection.

He is perfect in his imperfection. Naegi bakes him a cake for his birthday (he wasn't even aware he had one. He was made, and that was it, no one had ever given him reason to think that worth celebration) and it was- imperfect.

It tilted to the left a little, the layers were uneven, the icing too inconsistent, the writing off-centre, and the taste too sweet.

He saved the candles and placed them in a box.

His birthday gift was handmade too- a chipped mug.

He drinks out of it every morning.

[imagine-loki]

Trust, Chapter 5

TITLE: Trust CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: Chapter 5 AUTHOR: fanficshiddles ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine Loki kidnaps Darcy Lewis, in hopes of getting the tesseract in return for her. Imagine his surprise when he grows rather fond of the mortal, finding that she understands him better than anyone else ever has.  RATING: M

When Loki returned, it was the middle of the night. He was confused to see that it looked like all the lights were on in the house, it was like the Blackpool Illuminations.

He got out of the ship and had to blast a few creatures away from around the house. More of them ran scurrying back into the barley, eyes glaring at him. He frowned, that wasn’t so good if they had emerged from the barley.

Trying the door, he found it locked. He tried knocking, but Darcy didn’t answer. Using his Seidr he had the door unlock, as he stepped inside and shut the door behind him, he found Darcy leaping out from the side and she started hitting him. But it barely felt like a cat pawing at his arm.

‘You bastard! You left me here all alone!’ She snarled angrily as she kept hitting him.

‘I wasn’t long, I told you I had to nip out.’ He said, amused at the tiny mortal trying to hurt him.

‘IT’S DARK! YOU SAID YOU WOULDN’T BE LONG! THOSE CREEPY ASS MONSTERS WERE TRYING TO GET IN!’ Darcy screeched at him.

Loki could hear some genuine fear within her voice too. He grabbed her wrists tightly and stopped her from hitting him.

‘Well, well, well. The brave, and seemingly fearless, Darcy does in-fact get scared?’ He smirked.

‘Of fucking course I was scared! You left me here all alone for bloody ages and without you I’d have no way of getting anymore food or off this planet.’

Loki was rather impressed that she admitted she was scared.

‘I may have forgot that time on this planet goes slower than anywhere else… so while I was only away for two of your mortal hours, it was a lot longer to you.’ He said sheepishly and let go of her wrists, glad when she didn’t try hitting him again. ‘I apologise for that, Darcy. It also makes sense why the Greyls came closer, they thrive on fear so will have picked up on that.’

Darcy’s mouth fell open, she couldn’t believe it. ‘Un-fucking believable. NOW he tells me all the important shit!’ She turned around and started walking away from him, throwing her hands up in the air.

-

‘What exactly is that?’

‘What is what?’ Loki asked, looking over at Darcy with a frown.

She was at the table, Loki had just been sitting crossed legged on the floor again. He seemed like he had been in a trance again.

‘When you go into that weird trance. Last time your face looked like it was going to burn off.’

Loki sighed and rolled his eyes. ‘You wouldn’t understand.’

‘Try me.’

His jaw clenched as he stood and made his way over towards her. He sat down opposite her and clasped his hands together as he stared at her.

‘Do you really want to know?’ He asked.

‘I wouldn’t have asked otherwise.’ Darcy snarked.

Loki sighed. ‘Alright then. If you must know, I am trying to get the tesseract back for Thanos so he doesn’t snap my neck in half. When I go into those ‘trances’ as you call it, I am communicating with one of his minions. My supposed handler. Thanos is apparently getting antsy, impatient. I fear that if your team doesn’t hurry up, I will be out of time.’

Darcy’s mouth fell open, Loki could almost see her tonsils.

‘I… I had no idea. Dude, I thought you just wanted it for yourself, not because your life was in danger!’

‘Well, now you know.’ Loki shrugged.

He watched her carefully when she got up from her chair and walked over to Loki, she put her arms around him and actually hugged him. He froze on the spot, confused at her affection as she put her cheek on top of his head.

‘You poor thing. Having to make do with me. You’ve got no chance of getting the tesseract through me.’

Loki frowned, but still didn’t move. Why was this mortal hugging him?

She let go and stood up straight, tapping her lower lip she had an idea.

‘Look. I don’t believe you want to hurt me, I know you’d have done it by now.’ She started pacing back and fore. ‘But the Avengers won’t swap me for the tesseract, that’s for certain. I’m sure if Thor knew that the purple grape was still threatening you, he would see your side of it.’

Loki’s lips tugged into a smirk at her nickname for Thanos. ‘You know of Thanos?’

‘Yep. Thor explained he was the reason behind you attacking New York. But none of us had any idea that he still had control over you.’

‘He doesn’t.’ Loki snapped.

Darcy stopped pacing and folded her arms over her chest. ‘He clearly does. He’s threatened your life, that’s the highest level of control.’

Loki narrowed his eyes at her. But he realised that she was right…

‘You told me not to think so little of myself. But I think you should take your own advice. You said you’ve always felt like you were in Thor’s shadow. Why not change that, show people who you truly are. That you don’t do what other people tell you. Don’t let Thanos scare you into doing something you don’t want to do.’

Loki tilted his head slightly, thinking hard. ‘There is just one problem. Thanos and his people are far too powerful, they would find me. Eventually. No matter where I go. And as strong as you may think I am, I would not be able to defeat them alone.’

‘So, don’t fight them alone.’ Darcy said, hands on her hips.

‘Who, pray tell, do you suggest would help me?’

A big smile spread across her face.

‘No… No, no, no.’ He wagged his finger at her and abruptly stood, walking away from her. ‘I know what you’re thinking.’

Darcy followed him. ‘Come on! I know you don’t think much of them, but they managed to kick your ass and all those aliens. I’m sure together, they could help protect you and fight off Thanos.’

Loki walked over to the window and stood there, staring out. Hands balled into fists at his side. He saw Darcy’s reflection pop out from behind him.

‘You know it makes sense, Loki.’

‘They would never help me anyway. They will just lock me up. Or worse, send me back to Asgard.’

‘Not if you hand yourself in voluntarily. Explain to them what happened. Tell them about a bigger threat than you to Earth! Hell, if you get Thanos off your back then maybe, just maybe, you could show Earth your nicer side. Get some of us mortals on side and we might just elect you for president or something.’ Darcy said, clutching at straws now.

Loki raised an eyebrow and turned to face her.

‘That could happen?’

‘Sure.’ She shrugged. ‘I mean, surely you couldn’t do worse than our current president.’

‘They will never believe me.’ Loki shook his head.

He hadn’t wanted to admit it before, but he truly was stuck. He didn’t want to be under Thanos’ rule. He never did in the first place. But the thought of grovelling to the Avengers for help made him feel sick. And Darcy knew that, she could tell. 

‘Don’t think of it as asking them for help. Think of it as… trying a new tactic.’

‘Expand.’ Loki folded his arms over his chest.

‘Think about it. How annoyed would Thor be if you were able to do things he can’t. If you end up gaining a fan base on Earth, for helping people. Redeeming yourself.’ Darcy started getting excited at the thought as she talked. ‘You could become the favourite Avenger! It would be easy. You have the brains, unlike Thor. You have the built-in strength, unlike Stark who has to wear a suit for that. You’ve got agility and grace, unlike Bruce. Then there’s all your magic-ey stuff. The whole package!’

Loki grinned cockily and nodded. ‘Well, that is true. It wouldn’t take long for mortals to see I am their best hope.’

‘Exactly. And you’d have the back up of the others if Thanos does come looking for you.’ Darcy put her hands behind her back and crossed her fingers, hoping all this sweet talking would work.

Sure, she wanted to go back home. She knew convincing Loki to hand himself in was likely her only hope, as she knew for a fact they wouldn’t come and rescue her. They didn’t even know where she was. But there was a part of her too that genuinely wanted to help Loki. Even though he had kidnapped her, he hadn’t been mean to her. She’d seen an oddly vulnerable side to him and she felt that, for some weird reason, he understood her. He could’ve been mean to her, belittled her. He didn’t know her and had no obligation to her either. But he had been rather kind and supportive.

‘You certainly know how to stroke a God’s ego. I know exactly what you’re doing, Darcy.’ Loki said, eyeing her carefully. But he smiled. ‘But it’s also all true. However, as soon as I get off the ship they will lock me up, like I said.’

‘Maybe at first, but then you can talk to them. Besides, I’ll have your back.’ She smiled genuinely up at him.

‘And why would you help me?’

‘Because you’re the first person to not see so little in me.’

Loki felt a slight kick to the gut. He could relate to that, a lot.

He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. ‘This is a ridiculous idea.’

‘But a brilliant idea.’ Darcy countered.

‘I really hope I’m not going to regret this.’

[border-spam]

Troy HC dump

These span all eras and are valid for the Troy I write , some are 18+ so read more at your discretion:

Hugely into any puzzle / collection echo games (think puzzle and dragons), and uses them to relax very often in private. Finds puzzle games really destress him and help him sleep. Has spent an insane amount of money in them.

Keeps his own personal coffers and the amount he spends wouldn’t even be noticeable against his almost infinite wealth , but he’d be intensely embarrassed if anyone found out how much God King Calypso spends on gatchas.

Hair is naturally very thick, his iconic hairstyle was originally born out of frustration after going for a bandit mohawk, realising how much work that was going to be every day, then swiping it all forwards and hoping for the best.

Has v little torso hair but does pluck the patchy little bits he grows for the aesthetic, bitch.

Incredibly hygienic for a Pandoran, but more so with his oral hygiene than anything else. Had to keep a rigorous cleansing routine for the first few months after his jaw mod and just kept it up from then on.

Understands a huge amount of different languages, but not fluently. Leda taught him the basics of a lot of language cores and he can understand and read a lot relatively well. Cant speak or write them though, and keeps this skill close to his chest.

He’s intensely clever and realised early how useful it was to understand what sponsors were saying to each other in “private” by using another language during meetings with the twins. He’s turned having his intelligence underestimated so often into a weapon he wields with great skill.

His hand writing is atrocious. He can read it fine, but not even Tyreen can half the time. Almost proud of having his own shitty shorthand code he can use for notes.

Can count the amount of times he’s worn underwear by choice on his one hand since adulthood. Didn’t have any on Nekrotafeyo, and fuck it. Freedoms comfortable and let’s you have very low slung pants.

Very low slung pants are very good at distracting possible competitors/business partners enough during interactions to either cause them to slip up, or underestimate his cunning again. Either works fine for him, he gets attention, and the upper hand. Win win.

Snores really bad from a combo of mods and compromised respiratory system. Modded tongue tends to slowly extend the deeper his sleep gets, and he’s woken up with it over his eyes before. Will completely deny he snores, only Tyreen has heard it and she’s clearly lying, right?

Did most of his own piercings and barely flinched. Full on SOBBED after he pierced his nips. Sat on his bathroom floor for an hour waiting for the pain to pass while strongly second guessing his life decisions.

Gets extremely emotionally invested in classical music / soundtracks and falls asleep listening to his fave playlists often. Has nicer dreams when he does than if he doesn’t, and also feels like it helps boost his creativity while working. Doesn’t know why.

A combo of keeping his neck covered under the collar, and the scarring on his throat, has left it hyper sensitive when uncovered. A caress will instantly have him snapping viciously or melting into a gasping mess of goosebumps and shivers depending on who’s hand it was.

Super comfortable with nudity, his self esteem issues are focused on his body’s layout and the self perceived damage/disfunction of it, nudity doesn’t come into play at all.

That is, as long as his bracer is on. What’s under the bracer is the one part of his body he would be terrified of showing to someone he valued in a vulnerable situation. Any COV worshipper stupid enough to think just because they can touch him naked means they could try and touch under the bracer is going to really miss their hand afterwards ( if they are still alive to miss it ).

Would love to be able to play a musical instrument well but he’s struggled with any he tried before as only his existing hand is dextrous enough for one. Would really appreciate and treasure someone with the patience and kindness to teach him, but knows that would mean dropping the God King persona, and can’t justify damaging their reputation just for something that would make him happy.

Gets recognised instantly regardless of how he dresses or looks, which he loathes. There is no way to hide his height or build, let alone the markings on his face. Really misses being able to just wander and explore like he could in the COV’s early days.

Really, really, really loves food, but his ill health means he can’t eat the way he’d like and often has to avoid foods he wished he could eat more. God King Calypso is known for being exceptionally choosy about the food he eats. In reality, Troy just can’t trust a lot of the overly rich food he’s served.

Massively enjoys cooking in his Sanctum when alone, and would treasure doing so for anyone he sees as a friend. Has, very rarely in the past, and loved seeing how surprised they were that he’s not useless at it.

Solely drinks alcohol to get drunk, can’t really taste beer very well and doesn’t enjoy most spirits. He’s a functional alcoholic but would deny he relies on it or other drugs (he absolutely does) and blows off concern from medics as it being something he chooses to do, not needs.

Wishes he could smoke Pandoran weed but wouldn’t risk the damage to his weak lungs, tends to make tea with what he grows in his ship, shares it with Tyreen a lot. She can’t touch plants, so he has no problem doing the green thumb work and sharing with her when she needs to relax.

Unless their dad had thought it to them or they saw it in an echo show, then the twins had no grasp of basic social do’s and don'ts when they reached Pandora.

Troy would have no problem sitting in a merger meeting picking his nose while Tyreen scratched her ass in front of board members. They learned a lot of their social skills the hard way, having been asked to please, please stop by priests and saints.

Has never won a burping competition against Tyreen in his life. Is genuinely irritated by this.

Can’t dance. Can strut and pose, has a great sense of rhythm, just cannot for the life of him do anything dance wise. Please don’t ask him to it will end in tears (his).

Savant with numbers, sees them as patterns like his dad did. Thought everyone could till he met people on Pandora. Gets aggressively frustrated with anyone who he needs to explain his process for reaching a mathematical conclusion to, because they never get it.

Complete idiot tier for animals. Likes them a lot, just doesn’t know what any of them are and no one is in a position to correct him without risking embarrassing the God King publicly and having their neck snapped.

Calls everything he sees a Skag. Rakks? Flying Skags. Bullymongs? Arm Skags. Skags? “Those bitchin lil’ mouth dudes.”

Really enjoys art and has a beautiful defined style with spray paint. Dumbs it down for propaganda, but his Sanctum is filled with canvases that are experimental colour and line pieces. Very much likes working with holy iconography but tends to only illustrate Tyreen this way in his own time..

Spends a lot of hours in the Mechanicum and knows a lot of the Tinks in higher leadership position by name. Likes to talk engineering with them and feels comfortable enough to drop a lot of the God King persona and actually enjoy the conversation.

A Troy who’s excited and interested in a discussion is all twinkling eyes and gentle, eager smile. He often has to remind himself to shift back into persona mid conversation, and it can be quite.. sad.. to see him go from so clearly happy, back to an icy, scathing asshole.

Incredible at lying but cannot bluff for shit. Play any card game with him and he has instant facial tells (squints and sticks his tongue slightly out the side of his mouth when looking at his cards). Doesn’t understand why he could never win against his dad or Tyreen, probably never will.

Would never wear his reading glasses publicly, thinks they completely destroy his overall aesthetic and lines of his face mods. Won’t accept his’s wrong about this from anyone, though he personally likes how much more like himself he looks when wearing them in private.

Tyreen was so sick of seeing his ass crack, she was the one who suggested the overly tight belt that became part of his outfit. All his pants that are the right length are far too wide in the waist for his narrow hips. He could just get fitted ones now, but the low slung waist line + belt combo is part of his look at this point.

Incredibly high pain tolerance for almost everything, says he barely felt the tattoos and genuinely means it. The constant pain from the bracer and damaged shoulder joint has let him numb to most other relatively low levels of pain.

Is an amazing kisser as long as what you enjoy is the threat of being consumed alive. Troy’s mouth is a self designed weapon, verbally and physically, and he’s never been in a position to learn to use it tenderly. Doesn’t let worshippers choose to kiss him when bedding them, and is aggressive with it if he chooses to kiss them.

Would love to learn how to be tender from someone who cared for him and he felt safe enough with to allow his persona to slip and be vulnerable with, but as the years go on and the God King becomes more in control, Troy has become resigned to the fact that it’s something he will never have.

Very self conscious about his hygiene and showers usually twice daily if he can. Everything on Pandora is covered in sweat and filth, and he can’t risk getting infections considering the amount of open ports along his body. Really enjoys scents and has a surprisingly large collection.

Gets highly irritated with public displays of affection. Intensely, soul crushingly envious.

This gets dangerous late God King era as he becomes more and more violent. People have learned to be extremely careful to not show affection to each other in viewing distance of him at all, or risk losing a limb. Or worse.

Sex drive only gets higher as time goes on. For the first few years he much preferred pleasuring himself rather than interacting with the squalid heaving masses of followers throwing their bodies at him, but by the time of the God King era in later COV years, he can’t stand touching himself anymore. He doesn’t want to touch his body, and the God King is more than happy to let others praise it nightly instead.

Sleeps with huge cushions he brushes off as being for comfort, but deep down he knows its because their weight and pressure helps him not feel so alone.

Squints a lot and is known for scowling, but it’s mostly due to terrible headaches, not eye sight issues or his mood. The dark eye makeup helps with the glare a little but he’s noticeably paler than his sister due to the bright sun causing them more often than not and him preferring to stay in the shade of indoors.

Has kept every single thing given to him out of kindness. Will keep sugar packets if someone brings him a coffee with one out of concern for him looking tired. If he feels it was done because they like him and not out of respect for his title, he will keep anything he’s been given.

Most of the people who gave him these tiny things he’s kept.. well.. they aren’t around anymore (no one he’s gotten to know well chooses to stay very long ).. but he still likes to look through them sometimes when he needs to be reminded he’s possible to like.

The collection looks like a little box of trash to anyone else, but bar his old jacket his father made for him out of one of his own that he still keeps hidden away, it’s probably his most treasured possession.

[merryfortune]

Treasure Trove

Prompt fill for my PreCure Fanworks Bingo

Ship: Hinata/Nodoka

Fandom: Healin’ Good PreCure

Word Count: 1,366

Tags: Fluff, Developing Relationship

  Nodoka loved visiting Hinata’s place. Specifically, her bedroom. It was such a treasure trove of all these beautiful things. Knickknacks, jewellery, stuffed animals, things that had phased out of the hot list of a hot or not list and things which Hinta suspected would phase into the next hot or not list. Nodoka thought it was all great. Just an excellently curated cacophony of things.

  It was materialism at its best but Nodoka didn’t hold this materialism against Hinata as whilst it wasn’t a virtue to be overly invested in one’s appearance to the point where it hurt, Hinata wasn’t viced by it either. So, it excited Nodoka to step into Hinata’s room and play that game of I spy against herself. It was fun. Especially because things did change. Hinata was thrifty. She believed in upcycling and recycling and reusing so she sometimes had in-between projects of making new things out of old things and it was always exciting when Hinata had a finished product to show off to her.

  “Here, sit here,” Hinata told her because today was one of those days where Nodoka had been invited around so Hinata could offload some of her newest creations onto someone else, “and let me go fetch something real quick.”

  “No problem, I’ll wait.” Nodoka giggled.

  She sat down at Hinata’s dresser, on a cute and plush chair which was all too easy to get comfortable in. Looking up, Nodoka smiled at herself. The mirror attached the dresser was oval shaped but most of that shape had been eaten up by all the things which Hinata had pinned to it. Necklaces, photographs, sticky notes with little reminders to herself. Some practical, some not so practical but it was fun, getting that little insight into Hinata’s life.

  You matter, one note read. Don’t forget Nana’s birthday is next Tuesday, another read. You are kind, you are smart, you are important: all three of those sentiments on yet another note. It was interesting and amusing and when Nodoka’s eyes flicked back to herself. She thought she sparkled just that little bit more having had her confidence bolstered by all those self-care love notes that she skimmed over.

  Hinata soon returned from wherever she had ducked off to. The door banged and rattled; it was swathed with beads on one side. Hinata panted.

  “I bought a new hairbrush, for you to use when you come over, I thought I brought it up here but nope.” She sounded breathless. “It was still with the other groceries.”

  “That’s okay but thank you for being considerate of me.” Nodoka replied, her voice blithe.

  “No problem at all.” Hinata chirruped. Her expression was smug but quickly became nigh demonic. “Now, hold still, I want to practice hair styles on you.”

  “Wh-What? Why?” Nodoka asked, embarrassed, straightening up and stiffening too.

  “I want to try some cascading braids, but I keep getting ‘em all wonky and Nee-san won’t let me practice on her head ‘cause she reckons that it’ll hurt heaps if I do her hair. She’s totes wrong though, don’t worry. And even though your hair is short, you’d be surprised. Or at least according to the magazines and CureTube tutorials I’ve been looking at. But don’t worry, there’s a prize at the end for you.” Hinata said.

  “Just, um, just don’t yank all my hair out, ‘kay?” Nodoka replied. She was intrigued to see how the hairstyles that Hinata had in mind for her.

  “Perfect.” Hinata replied, cocking a self-confident smirk across her face.

  She started to brush out Nodoka’s hair. Nodoka waited very patiently for her and was soon lulled by Hinata’s technique. She was a lot gentler than what Nodoka thought she would be so it was nice. She closed her eyes to it, relaxed, and made light conversation with Hinata – just general things, things about the weather, gossip, complaints about homework – and then yowch!

  Just like Nodoka thought.

  Her eyes snapped open and her scalp ached with how Hinata had pulled on her hair in an attempt to start plaiting since it was all prepared and stuff from brushing.

  “Oops, sorry.” Hinata said, not sounding very sorry at all but she did change how she played with Nodoka’s hair.

  “It’s okay, I’m okay.” Nodoka awkwardly replied.

  Hinata tried again and this time, she seemed to have better success as she slowly worked across Nodoka’s head. The plaits inching up the side of her head, creating something of a waterfall effect despite the brevity of her bob cut. Before her eyes, Nodoka felt as though she were transforming again. The end result was pinned back with a bow and Hinata couldn’t be prouder of her handiwork. Even if she still thought it was a little wonky from insufficient practice.

  “Fwow.” Nodoka gasped as she moved her head left and right so she could get a better look at what Hinata had done.

  Her eyes sparkled and Hinata’s heart throbbed. Nodoka looked a beauty; an utter princess. The plaits complimented her, even if it robbed her of that characteristic and rather adorable roundness that her appearance was founded on. You could see more of the side of her face, her pretty cheeks, now that the majority of her hair had been pulled back into those up and down braids.

  But Hinata was quick to grow dissatisfied with her choice of bow for Nodoka, to keep it all in place. Her eyes, beady and greedy, searched among her things on the dresser but she grizzled with further dissatisfaction. Nodoka, of course and dearly, oblivious to Hinata’s pouty expression and feelings.

  Fortunately, Hinata was Hinata. Full of bright ideas and other bright sparks. She snapped her fingers and she had a total duh moment. She zipped off to her drawers by her bed and she ripped through them trying to find something and she did find it. At the very bottom, hidden among loose papers from school and empty perfume bottles and other assorted stationary. She also found something else which she hadn’t been looking for but would do perfectly as well in a different way.

  She returned to Nodoka’s side, “Hold on,” she told her, she yanked the bow out of Nodoka’s hair.

  It was all wrong for her. It was too big for a start and it was a garish yellow with leopard print pattern in electric green and had noisy, beady dangly bits. It was all wrong for someone like Nodoka who was quiet and demure. Something like this, the bow which Hinata replaced it with, suited her far better.

  And the way Nodoka’s eyes lit up when Hinata grabbed a hand mirror to show off the new replaced bow at the back of her head using manipulated reflections.

  “Fwow…” Nodoka gasped once more. “I love it.”

  “I knew you would.” Hinata replied.

  Yes, this bow was much better. It was more antique Lolita, for a start, and a maroon with white lace detailing, which was stiff as a board, on the petals of the bow. It reminded Hinata of a rose or carnation without being overly floral. Yes, it was much better than what she had initially picked out for Nodoka.

  “And now, bum-ba-da-bum! Its time for your prize.” Hinata told her.

  Nodoka clasped her hands together and squealed, “Ooh, I’m so excited.”

  “I have this for you.” Hinata said.

  Then, swauvely, she took Nodoka’s hand, just one, just her right hand, and she slid a ring onto it. It was a plastic toy ring, no doubt pulled from the costume box of some party shop, but a ring, nonetheless. It was silver with a pink, love-heart shaped stud at the crux of it.

  Hinata smiled to herself and she kissed the side of Nodoka’s hand, making her blush, making her feel like a princess again.

  “I’ll get you a nicer ring one day, promise.” Hinata told her and she slyly caught Nodoka in her peripheries.

  “O-Oh.” Nodoka murmured, realising that she was being flirted with.

  Gosh, she was so red. It was so adorable. And it made Hinata all the more certain that she was going to make good on that little promise with a bedazzlement on top.

[specialagentrin]

a forever continuous list why WE love dean

aka : my sunflower and one of my main reasons for bothering to exist

[So, Dean, guess who was able to snatch almost everyone in your discord server and tumblr friend list? It just, it hurt’s me whenever you think low of yourself, and then this idea just, popped up in my head. @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @3dg310rdsupreme and @dying-by-fangirling helped - along w/ your discord server. Love you. Anyone can gladly add on, anytime.]

Reasons: 

You're the definition of perfection.

Because you somehow manage to find time for everyone.

You always listen when we need to vent or talk about problems.

You always manage to make us feel loved and cared about.

You always make sure we are okay.

You brought us all together. I wouldn't know any of these people if you hadn't introduced them to me.

You bright up the entire internet with one message.

You always make sure we are looking after ourselves.

You make us all feel beautiful whenever we share selfies or talk to you.

If ever we go missing randomly, you make sure we are okay.

You always pay attention when someone is excited about something.

You make me feel loved and like someone cares about what happens to me.

You are so brave and dedicated and have already managed so much more than I ever could.

You are so talented.

You somehow manage to make every single one of us feel loved, without even seeming to notice how amazing you are.

You are so patient when people don't understand something, and always make sure they are happy.

You have a skill of making anyone who speaks to you want to be your friend.

You are always so supportive. If any of us share anything, you are there telling us how amazing it is.

You've taught me so much.

I haven't even known you a year and I would both die and kill for you, you're just that amazing.

You deserve the world and you don't even realise it.

I didn't know you were going to end up my friend when I first commented on your fic, but I am so glad a million times over that I did, because you have literally changed my life for the better.

You always have a nice thing to say to anyone who needs it.

You love with all your heart, and you love everyone!

You are just the purest boi!!!!!!!!

Honestly I want to hug you so much…….. unfortunately I can't. But just know I WANT TO.

You think so lowly of yourself and yet think so highly of all the rest of us! Even though you are the most amazing!!!

We can all just talk to you about anything - including nonsense - and you just join in instead of saying how crazy it sounds.

You’re strong and resilient, you’ve been through things I can’t even imagine and you still have the biggest heart 

Wonderful singer and beautiful voice

You are funny and adorable and it makes me smile just when you talk.

You’re incredibly creative and an amazing writer! 

You’re smart and knowledgeable about a variety of topics, AND you’re patient and understanding when you explain them to us. 

Talking to you lights up my entire day and I can’t imagine a day without talking to you now

All you have to do is say hi and instantly I perk up and am happy to see you.

You are one of the most loving and caring people that I know.  You literally worry about everyone and always want the best for us. 

You are a beautiful person, I feel loved and cared for with you and you make us all feel the same way! 

You say it’s annoying but you think of us throughout the day and tell us.  What it really does is make us all feel special to know we are that important to you.

You sometimes look like a miniature adorable version of jack kline.

You’ll stand up for what you believe in 

You won’t hesitate to stand up for others 

Your smile is so bright.

Have I mentioned your writing? It’s literally better than half of those crappy adults out there! And it evokes so much emotion in me. 

Whenever your happy, I become so fucking happy in return 

Honestly you could light up a whole city 

Your smile makes the lights of Albuquerque seem dim. Your heart makes the Eiffel Tower seem tiny. 

You were the first to understand my complete crack ships (Percy Jackson/Peter Parker, anyone?) and not laugh. 

You loved me. And that’s all I could ever ask for. Your unconditional love and support. (Am I crying while writing this? Psh, no, I’m just allergic to feelings…)

You wouldn’t hesitate to put others instead of yourself first 

When someone is hurting, you wouldn’t stop until they feel better. 

You are an amazing writer and I still plan on reading all of the books you end up publishing

You care for everyone. I mean everyone. You sap :)

Your voice is stunning 

The fact that whenever your happy, you show off your body proudly - that just makes me so happy

Whenever I’m having a horrible day, you fill my life up with endless light. You make me want to be a better person. And I love you. 

I love it when we bounce ideas off each other, and then we both start running with it

You were so patient when I told you that I was coming back, but didn’t

You were one of the reasons that I did come back and start speaking again

You’re one of the best writers that I’ve ever seen 

Being your friend is one of the best things in my life

Whenever I see you typing, I get this big grin on my face

You are always patient with me

Your voice. Your voice. Need I say more?

You’re a star!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You say the most beautiful and heartwarming things that I’ve ever heard

Nothing ever makes me happier than listening to your ideas

You’re so creative and lovable, I want to hug you so bad!!!!!!!!

I love you

You make everything feel better, even when something really hurts

Beautiful, amazing, show-stopping

Nothing ever really feels bad when you’re around

I never laughed harder when we were messaging

When we first started messaging each other, and you just pulled up with this sunny personality and I honestly thought He’s going to be my best friend

You’re literally sunshine

You’ve given me the best memories that I’ve ever seen

You’re a dork, and I love you all the more for it :)

Everything that you’ve been through just made you a kinder, sweeter, and nicer person

Nothing’s better than just sitting down and actually talking with you

You’re beautiful

I’m always smiling when I think about you

You’re the best person

You always try to tell the truth, in the nicest way, which is awesome

You’re awesome

You always tagged me for stories that you’d written, despite the fact that I didn’t do anything except give you an idea

You’re always willing to help every single one of your friends

You have, honestly, been one of the best people I’ve ever talked to

We all love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 💓💖💗💘💙💚💛💜💝🤍🤎🧡🎔♥♡❣❤

The world wouldn’t be the same without you

you’ve got the biggest heart

You taught me how to use discord and were my first ever rp and are always so patient and kind about everything.

You leave the most heartwarming comments, and that really lights up my day!

Your writing. Oh Gosh, your writing, Bean!! Somehow you write the exact things we're all feeling -- but then you put it into words and do it amazingly!!

When you're around, I never feel lonely. That's literally the warmest vibe a person could have, and you exude them endlessly!

You make it easier for your friends to love themselves <3

You have a really wonderful blog!! 

You always have the sweetest things to add to your friends' posts, cause you're frigging amazeballs like that. 

I get so happy whenever I see that I’ve gotten a message from you. 

The memories I’m making and the memories that we’ll make in the future, I’ll treasure for the rest of eternity. 

Words haven’t even been invented yet to tell you how much everyone here loves you.

I just, you always manage to make me cry because you're always telling me that you love me??? And it’s like, thank you for telling me to exist???  

What would we do without you here?

YOUR DORKY SMILE W/ BRACES IS ABSOLUTELY ADORABLE AND YOU CAN’T SAY OTHERWISE

You're beautiful.

You’re the best internet friend I’ve ever had—you’re always there, whether it’s to chat about fandom stuff, or to cheer me on, or to just be there through hard times. Thank you for being the best friend I could ask for. ❤️

I adore your writing—you paint such beautiful pictures with your words. I love the way you sing—your voice is breathtaking. You’re so talented, and you’re going to go so far with those talents! 

You’re such a considerate friend, and you don’t give up on people no matter what.

You are resilient, no matter what, you subsist

Dean, you go above and beyond for your friends, and it’s truly amazing.

You're always so welcoming to new people! I've always been super shy but you made me feel welcome straight away. You're a wonderful person to talk to and you're always willing to help your friends. I look up to you!

Dean, you are one of the most important things in my life and one of the best things to happen to it,i can’t imagine a world without the light you shine into it.

You’re awesome and I’m happy for you with T and all the amazing things to become the guy you want to be!

My heart, for irene’s sake - do you know how happy you manage to make me? How I literally freak out when I see your name typing? How euphoric i get when you call me bug or love? You just - I’m so happy to have you.

You make me actually feel unique and cared about, talking about me to others which is not something I'm used to. Even though I don't rp with you, you're still my precious Dean-o and I love you with all my butt, cause it's bigger than my actual heart. <3

Your awesome also your a fantastic bootylicious piece of ass -winks- nice personality to UwU 

UwU Love ya Dean I appreciate you so fucking much you have no idea. Like do you have any idea how many people can put up with my bullshit and personality? Not many and you're awesome anyway possible. If we ever meet in real life I'm gonna take a picture of us together and say I took a picture with an angel. (btw its Lucas love ya very much Dean)

DO YOU WANNA HAVE A BROMANCE? I've got some broses and some daffodudes with your name on it! UwU Also 0w< Luv ya your awesome ill give ya cuddles if we ever see each other in real life! I'll even throw in one of my very special no bugging a person or trying to piss em off rule for ya. Only two have ever been made and you'll be the third! OwO 

UwU Also thank you for being there for me! I enjoy talking to you even though I'm barely on it's a nice thing! To know I have great friends who dont judge me and you're one of the many who are nice to me! OwO So i want to say thank you and that i appreciate you very much no matter what you do! Also if you ever need to talk my doors always open or well chats always open for you no matter the hours! But if I'm asleep I’ll have to respond later cause I'm a deep sleeper! TwT

[fandom-necromancer]

Android tears

Thank you so much for prompting this! I loved writing this!

Fandom: Detroit become human | Ship: Reed900 (Warning: self-harm (character unhealthily denying their personality))

‘Don’t you patronise me! I can talk and decide for myself, dipshit!’ ‘I don’t need your phcking help, leave me alone!’ ‘Oh so suddenly you try befriend me? Phck off!’ ‘So, we started working together. No big deal. But I won’t be up for this partner bullshit, yeah? And no, I won’t go with you to some bar! Get your metal ass somewhere else, I’ll go with Tina. You are not invited.’

RK900 had learned very early that Detective Gavin Reed was a rather stubborn and proud individual. It was difficult to work with him to say the least. But he was just as determined himself. If he simply did all the man demanded of him he would certainly get more civil, right? If he had no reason to complain, maybe he would become nicer. RK900 was deviant, had been woken up after the revolution by Markus and Connor. He remembered how confusing the world had been. No orders, no purpose, no goals. He had to set them himself. His current mission was to get on Reed’s good side. Only then he could work effectively.

The only problem were his emotions. Without programming to hold them in check they were free to mingle with his logic and decision-making. He had learned to appreciate them very early on because they managed to give him a clear first impression and quick reactions. A detection device in social situation and an essential part of him he embraced with pride. He couldn’t understand how others shut them out as if they were some intruding virus, although he unfortunately knew their chaining properties too.

Every time the Detective scolded him, told him what to do and more importantly what not to do, he was swallowed by emotions. They kept him back from nodding his head and go on, letting him replay his decisions in his mind to find the error. He had tried to help, helping was a good thing. He had wanted to help the Detective because then things would be easier for the human. Humans liked when things were easy and appreciated the attention and care of others. It was the basic idea of friendship and other human social structures. Working together was an essential part of their identity starting in their organic origin and ending in their self-created societies. So why was this detective so averse to him offering his help or trying to form these social bonds? He seemed to like their initial purpose, the simple machines, more. And if RK900 had to cut his emotions short to try and convince this human he was worth getting to know if Reed just tried, he would do that. Even if it made him feel horrible and made him having trouble entering stasis thinking about the regret of having to become something he was not. But if he got the Detective to like him, to be more open, then maybe he could show him his true self again. Maybe this all was too much at once for the man.

 So he stripped away more and more personality with each and every scolding or complaint. He stopped offering to carry their files to and from the archive, he stopped asking how the detective’s weekend had been. He stopped trying to engage in after work activities with him. He stopped joking with him. He slowly became more of a machine than he would have been had he never deviated. But it started to work: the detective’s complaints were becoming rarer. RK900 was sure he could soon start trying to slowly build himself up again.

‘Toaster, you’ll go right, I’ll go left! Get that asshole!’ RK900 nodded and started speeding up. Their fugitive was running in front of the detective, but if he was fast enough he might be able to intercept him, allowing them a quick and easy arrest. Reed would like that. He exceeded human speeds as his feet drummed against the ground and calculated the possible path of the fugitive. His speed was ideal. He would turn around the corner and stand just in front of the man. Perfect.

It was the void he found when he actually turned around that disturbed his preconstructing programs. He just looked at the empty space for a few moments before distant curses reached his ears. In the distance, only half way between him and where they had split up before, Reed was held by the throat over a deep chasm where traintracks emerged from a tunnel. The Detective gasped for air, scratching at the arm of their fugitive trying to get out of his grip and at the same time hold onto him.

‘Gavin!’ RK900 felt his carefully buried emotions reemerge, recognised the fear in his voice as he screamed out the name he wasn’t allowed to use. Would the criminal let go of him, the detective’s chances at survival were minimal. The drop he could survive with serious injuries, but the current was a whole different thing. His mechanical heart dropped as the fugitive saw him, panicked and let go of his partner in favour of running off. He was already running, knowing well enough he wouldn’t make it in time, but was relieved to see the man managed to grab at the edge, now hanging down the wall. RK900 was confronted with a decision. Everything in him screamed to help the man, to grab his wrists and lift him up back to safe grounds. But there was also [Reed doesn’t need my phcking help, leave him alone!]. RK900 nearly gave in to the urge, but reminded himself the detective had valued the mission always higher than his own wellbeing. He wouldn’t like it would he let the fugitive get away. Although it hurt, RK900 ran past his struggling partner and followed the criminal, catching him two blocks away and calling in someone to take him away. It was as the car departed, he saw a figure walking towards him. A very angry figure.

‘What the phcking hell were you thinking leaving me alone there?’, the detective screamed at him, while RK900 just felt immense relief that the human was still alive and well. ‘What made yoou think this was a good idea, huh? You phcking tin-can! I could have died! Ah maybe you wanted that? Get rid of me finally? You phcking asshole. Guess finishing your mission is more important than a human life.’ ‘You!’ He sucked in more air before uttering the words that cut deep, too deep: ‘You are just a phcking machine after all! Why had I even imagined you care? You don’t have emotions, you don’t have anything. Just a stupid, worthless robot.’

RK900 couldn’t bear this any more. Everything the man had said to him until now had made him become this, he had had hope to finally be good, to finally be what the man wanted. But now… It suddenly wasn’t enough, it wasn’t at all pleasing. All these confines, all this effort – for nothing. The android felt his knees gave in underneath him and he fell together with his self-written confines. All the emotions he had locked away to please the human now came flooding back and over him, weighing him down with immense pressure. He felt it all. Hurt was the strongest, but beyond that laid an overwhelming sea of sadness with just a dash of despair. ‘Nines?’ It was carefully spoken and absent-mindedly he realised there were tears streaming down his face. Just too much emotion to handle. Everything was felt and flew down a drain just to emerge as fury and anger he tried to supress desperately, because even after all this, he still wanted to be good. To build up a friendship to this true asshole of a human being. But it wasn’t to be contained. It was like a barrel leaking water through holes and he tried to press his hands against them, only that the holes were bathtub-sized. ‘Nines, god, is everything okay?’ RK900 shook his head, the tears rolling down now of anger not of sadness. ‘You really think that? You really think that everything is okay?’ He laughed through the tears standing up and saw Gavin taking a step back from him - hand stretched out towards him before now back to his side. ‘How can you?!’ RK900 hadn’t realised his voice could be this loud, this booming. ‘I guess that’s too much for you, huh? A crying android. I bet you’ll make fun of that too! Hah, this damn tin-can invited me to drink. It can’t even drink. Hah, the toaster tried taking a box away from me. Like I couldn’t do it myself! Hah, the stupid machine can’t even take a hit, it’s crying now! I am just something you can hate on, isn’t that right? I did everything you wanted. I tried to be nice to you, who knows why, and every time you told me to stop. And I complied. I followed everything you told me. I became something I hated just to please you! And now. Now I followed it again, keeping the mission first priority as I should do according to you. And now that is wrong, too? I realise now there is no way to please you. There is no way for me becoming friends with you, because everything I do is wrong, no matter what I do or how hard I try. I realised everything I denied myself I denied without a reason, without something  to make it worth in the end. And still you have the audacity to ask if everything is okay?’

‘Nines, I.. I didn’t know-‘ ‘Oh you knew. You just didn’t care.’ RK900’s anger had subsided. It had felt good being angry, it gave him energy to say what he had wanted to push out for so long. But now… there was just the cold realisation and the sadness coming back. ‘Is that really how you felt all the time? I never realised what I said hurt you like that.’ ‘Oh no, why should it hurt, right? Because it’s just an android, right? No harm done then. Of course it hurts! I have feelings too!’ ‘You always seemed like that stoic robot to me, Nines. I didn’t even knew you heard what I’d said.’ ‘No, you just never looked past the robot. I was just another damn android to you! Like an oversized computer! I am a person, Gavin!’ There was silence as the android used his sleeve to wipe away the streaks of tears on his cheeks and Gavin looked to the ground.

As the human lifted his head again and looked into RK900’s eyes, despite logic and reason, hope rose up. ‘I am sorry, Nines.’ ‘That won’t change anything you’ve done’, RK900 hissed with venom. ‘I know.’ That caught him off-guard and maybe the detective deserved another chance. Yet another one after the uncontable number of chances RK900 had granted him already. So, he just sighed, blinking away the residue in his eyes.

‘It won’t erase your mistakes. But I guess it’s a start.’ ‘Start over then?’ Gavin held out his hand with his offer. ‘As partners?’ RK900 eyed him sceptically. ‘As partners’, Gavin agreed and Nines took the human’s hand with a firm nod.

[janiedean]

I know your anti-HP but the Kylo discourse reminds me of that time a group of people tried to argue to me that if I thought Snape didnt deserve redemption then Dudley (a child that was raised in an abusive/neglectful household, was raised to believe/act in certain things/ways, grew up to realise his parents were wrong and started to attempt to make changes to his behaviour and be nicer) didnt deserve it either. Characters that show regret and remorse deserve a chance at redemption. Others dont.

... anon, idk if I understood the last two things right (i mean if it’s what you think or what the ppl discoursing with you think), but as far as I’m concerned, distancing myself from any hp related implication here because idk idc and if I never hear snape discourse in my life again it can’t be too late so idc about this specific discourse, tldr:

irl people who fucked up and want to do better should be given a chance to. not necessarily by the people they hurt and if they committed a crime they should pay appropriately before, but if they want to? they should have the chance. not being written off as lost causes;

people who aren’t Good Victims ™️ shouldn’t be refused help or compassion just because they don’t react the way they were supposed to;

this thing about whether redemption is deserved or not is a wording that is... weird because like, you get that if you want to do better but like it’s not a question of deserving or not, you don’t do better out of wanting to get the good place points, you just do it and if you do then welcome to the club;

narratively, obviously it depends on author decision - if the author wants X redeemed then they will be and it most likely will have a narrative where X feels remorse for his actions or has a chance to make up for his wrongdoings, if the author wants Y to just be a negative character who doesn’t redeem themselves then Y won’t have that narrative;

now, I think people should be objective about things, in the sense: you can like a character that the narrative had decided is not redeemable or is written as such (let’s go for someone that won’t cause me drama, idk, RAMSAY BOLTON): you can write your fanfic about how that person gets redeemed if you want to, but if you tell people they’re idiots for not wanting ramsay to be redeemed you’re not going to look that great because 99,9% of the audience won’t want ramsay to be redeemed as he’s not written as such. on the other side, if you hate a character (kylo ren FOR ONE) who is blatantly written to be redeemed because he was and it was obvious since tlj at least, you can write your fic or do your hc where he never redeems himself but saying that he’s the worst objectively or that kylo fans suck because they like a horrid character that you don’t want redeemed is useless and just digging yourself into a grave because canon is going there and you can’t do shit about it. like, if you don’t enjoy where canon is going you’re better off making peace with it and writing your au instead of being an ass to people who disagree with you;

now this also goes with the ‘please for the love of god look at the narrative’ angle because honestly denying what the narrative is blatantly telling is not paying anyone any favors and again, you can 100% choose to ignore it but twisting it won’t work (example: I don’t gaf about jon/erys and I wasn’t too big on its canonization but the moment it happened I didn’t spend months twisting the narrative so that it would say what I wanted it to say ie that jon/erys was doomed - it was canon, I just didn’t write it in fanfic nor thought about it beyond what I had to see and ignored its existence when I could and I didn’t go to ppl shipping jon/erys informing them of why I thought S7 was written like trash - why would I?). you can do whatever you want with the characters but like try to keep a healthy divide between what the narrative says and what you want for them and be an adult about it.

now: i haven’t read hp and idc for reading it nor watching the movies but if both s/nape and the kid in question were written to be redeemed because she wanted them to then they were because it was her story and she wanted them to be and idg why people are still arguing about that twenty years later but that’s another problem entirely. if person X doesn’t think kylo ren deserved redemption too bad the narrative had decided he was getting that since the beginning and it’s not about whether he deserves it or not, it’s about what the story is saying. as far as I’m concerned as long as you want to be a good person/better person/do good things in life you should be given a chance to prove it. in literature it’s up to the author. but like one thing is what you want for the character and what the author wants and how the author writes it bc if they’re good it will leave readers satisfied or at least not feeling like they were taken for idiots, if they’re not it’s going to be bad writing. that’s literally it. and I wish this redemption discourse didn’t feel like we think you buy it at the supermarket and/or there are standards for it and if you don’t meet them then whatever.

also: you can hate a thing and recognize it’s well written. like guys ian tregillis’s milkweed tryptich had a last book that took each single choice I didn’t want it to take and I hated what happened to all of the characters......... but that trilogy was actually so well-plotted, tight-knit and well thought and thematically sound that even if I hated everything it chose to be I still can recognize that it was good writing because it made sense, the plot held up and my personal dislike for it and for the protagonist as a person didn’t make it a bad book. or you can like a thing and recognize it’s terribly written or trash or a guilty pleasure. it happens. it’s fine. and when it comes to kylo discourse... it was an obvious redemption narrative with a character that was written to be sympathetic which resonated with some people and not with others which was eventually written badly because it didn’t pay off and 85% of this movie was an insult to the viewer. that’s literally it. and it’s 2019. like... it’s time to let it die especially when he redeemed himself. XD