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corazondebeskar-reads · 10 months

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you know you never stood a chance - chapter eight

you know you never stood a chance series

eight: in this world, it's just us

series masterlist | prev chapter | epilogue

Joel Miller x f!reader

Words: 4.8k

Summary: Joel and Ellie return to Jackson.

Warnings: vaginal sex, oral (f receiving), like one spank, cum eating, Joel is mean/bad with feelings (but he gets a little better!), this is not canon compliant, no use of y/n, description of injury, two idiots at the end of the world learn to communicate, author is ugly crying because this is the end

also on ao3

dividers by @saradika-graphics

They’d told you last night, of course, when Joel and Ellie showed up at the gates. Tommy had come to your door himself. When he knocked in the middle of the night, you had assumed the worst. Not that the real news made you any less anxious.

They were planning on having a little welcome home dinner, nothing fancy, but something fun for the kids. Maria thought maybe it was a good time to take Alice up on her offer to babysit, since she’d have to get used to it sooner or later.

But then Alice volunteered to help do the cooking, and Maria wasn’t sure who else to ask.

“I’ll do it,” you said immediately.

She raised an eyebrow at you, which made you squirm. “Don’t you think you should be there?”

“Nah, I’m sure I’ll see Ellie around,” you said, giving her an overly-fake smile that clearly said, “don’t.”

“Uh-huh. That’s your call. But if you want to volunteer for diaper duty…”

“I’d love to. You should go, have some fun.”

“You sure you don’t want to come? Ellie was askin’ if you’d be there,” Tommy says.

“No, I’m sure. Y’all go on and have a good night. I promise we’ll be okay here,” you say, with little baby Alé cradled in your arms.

Tommy sighs and pinches his forehead in a way horribly reminiscent of his brother. And, of course, “It’s just—” he says, “I know y’all didn’t exactly part on good terms, but my brother, he’s got a weird way of showin’ he cares and—”

“Tommy,” your tone is warning. “For the last time, it wasn’t like that.”

“I saw y’all kissing,” he blurts.

You’re honestly surprised he kept his mouth shut for the last six months.

“No, you saw him try to make himself feel better after I got mad. Ain’t the same thing. Now y’all go on, go do whatever old married couples in the apocalypse do for a good time. And don’t tell me about any of it.”

They each kissed the baby’s forehead before they left, Tommy promising one of them would be back soon.

It’s heading toward summer, the nights not quite so chilly anymore, so you swaddle Alé and go to the rocking chair on the porch. The street is dark, though you can see the soft glow of the mess hall in the distance.

It’s not so dark that you don’t see him walking. His gait is off, not quite a limp, but you’d know that shadow anywhere—the broad shoulders, the puff of hair, the way he seems to hunch into himself to hide away.

“You’re going the wrong way,” you say before he can set off with whatever stupid thing he was about to say.

“Nah, I’m not.”

“Dunno if you heard, but they’re throwing you a party. You’re kind of supposed to be there.”

“So’re you.”

“Nope, I’m babysitting. Got better things to do tonight than look at your ugly mug.”

He shakes his head, standing now at the bottom of the porch steps. The single lamp flickers across his face, drawing shadows where the stress and age eat away at him.

You look away, down to the baby and the peace over her tiny face, softly breathing through dreamless sleep. Or whatever it was that babies dream about.

“Look—”

“Joel, if I wanted to talk to you, I would have shown up.”

“I’ll just keep comin’ back.”

“I’ll tell Tommy.”

“You can’t threaten me with my own brother.”

“Ok, I’ll tell Maria.”

“Damn,” he shakes his head. “You got me there.”

“Go away, Joel. Go enjoy your party.” It’s softer than you meant it to be, and when his eyes catch yours, you know he didn’t miss that.

He gives you a nod, jaw ticking, and walks away. You want to feel victorious, and you do; it just stings all the same.

Maria comes home after an hour and a half. She’s got impeccable timing, as Alé has just begun to stir and realize that you are, unfortunately, not her mother. Nor do you have milk to offer her. Her little face rubs against your shirt while she begins to wail.

“You got a sixth sense about that,” you tell Maria.

She laughs. “Guess I do.”

“It’s kind of neat,” you say. “Like even after decades of technology and convenience, our bodies still know what to do.”

“It is,” she says absentmindedly, and she’s looking at you in a way you do not want to be looked at right now, so you gather up your jacket and your book.

“Okay, cool, hope you had fun, good night!” You make it as far as opening the screen door before she stops you.

“He come by?”

Your mouth drops open. “You betrayed me!”

“Of course I didn’t. Seriously? It was Tommy.”

“That little rat.”

“You wanna go tell him off? He’s still down at the hall.” She’s got a glint in her eye again, the one that makes you feel both laughed at and cared about.

“You’re not funny,” you say, shaking your head and rolling your eyes.

“It was an accident. He did good when Joel asked about you, but then he asked about Alé.”

You laugh, something warm and fond in your chest, even if your heart keeps ticking up a notch. You turn the knob of the front door.

“They liked your gift.”

Damn it, how does she keep doing that? You pause your escape and look up at her, finding honesty there.

“Ellie liked it?”

“They both did,” Maria says, and tells you how several of the townsfolk had, in fact, not liked it, but Joel and Ellie sure did.

You weren’t sure you were actually going to give it to him, time and irritation having grown into anxiety over it. But other people were giving housewarming gifts, and to be fair, you had made it for Joel.

The quilt was folded neatly and tied with twine. Most of it was an array of colors, working with what scraps could be spared. Maria had assured you that keeping folks warm was always a good use.

He hadn’t noticed, at first. She thought maybe he was having some kind of attack, actually, when Tommy told him it was from you. He had gone oddly blank and frozen for a minute. After he came back to himself, he had run his fingers over the worn, soft fabric, and then cleared his throat and moved on.

Ellie didn’t. She was chilly and pleased as punch to have a blanket. When she unfolded it to spread across her lap, she burst out laughing.

“The hell’s the matter with you?” Joel asked her.

She was laughing too hard to breathe, let alone answer him, so he stomped over.

You had saved all the white squares to spell “fuck you” in block letters across the middle of the quilt.

For a moment, he stood there, just staring at it. But between the way it made his chest feel like it was full of bubbles and the way Ellie was now pointing at his dumbfounded expression and laughing so hard she was crying, he couldn’t help it. He joined her, absolutely fucking falling apart in hysterics.

“No way,” you scoffed at Maria when she reached that part of her retelling.

“Yeah. He lost it. Scared some of the kids.”

It doesn’t take him long to notice. He figures he still had an internal sensor wired to be aware of your presence. A safety feature turned bug.

You’re leaning against the wall across the room, just watching. Taking them in from a safe distance. Ellie sees where he’s looking and jumps up, running over.

She throws her arms around your neck and hugs you. You hug her back, the rush of relief at her well-being overtaking you.

“I’m glad you’re still here,” she says

“I’m glad you’re back. And you’re okay?”

She nods and opens her mouth, then looks around at the hall full of people.

“S’ok, you can tell me everything tomorrow.”

“Promise?”

“Sure thing, kiddo. I’m on patrol in the morning, but I’ll find you after.”

“No, you’re not,” Tommy says, coming up behind you and clapping a hand on each shoulder. He’s looking over Ellie’s shoulder, where Joel hovers on the other side of the room, hands shoved in his pockets.

“Ain’t this your party? Go have fun,” he says to Ellie.

You watch as she bounds over to Joel and points to you, like he hadn’t seen you first.

Tommy gives your shoulders a squeeze and leans in close. “Look, I know ya said you weren’t scared, but you look it. You don’t gotta tell me anything, but if you need me to keep him away from you, just say the word.”

Not for the first time, your heart clenches with fondness, and you duck out of his grasp so you can turn to face him.

“Don’t worry about me,” you say, trying to put as much earnestness into the words and your eyes as you can.

“M’serious. He’s my brother, and I love him, but I know he’s not always done the best things and—“

“Hey.” The sharp tone of your voice stops his rambling. “Thank you, Tommy, seriously. But I promise it’s fine.”

Joel wasn’t going to bother you again. He wasn’t. But then he caught Tommy shooting him a suspicious look over your shoulder, and he can’t stop himself from making his way over.

Tommy’s telling you about your shift change tomorrow, something about having to swap someone to cover for Sam, which turned into a whole mess of scheduling. You’ve been bumped to dinner duty, which is fine by you anyway.

You don’t get to tell him that, though. Something flickers across his face, a wrangled mess of hurt and happiness. It’s the only warning you got.

“Y’ain’t over here botherin’ her, right?” Joel says gruffly.

You roll your eyes. “You two are somethin’ else.”

Tommy rubs the back of his neck, but Joel says, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

You spin around to stare him down, arms crossed over your chest. “It means I don’t need either of you playin’ bodyguard, but especially not you.”

“If ya came here just to yell at me, let’s go outside.”

“Fine,” you snap. You hadn’t, actually, but then again, he’s always done this, crawled up under your skin like a tick.

And so you find yourself in a sick copy of six months past, standing and glaring at Joel outside the mess hall, arms folded across your chest.

“Well, go on then,” he says.

You open your mouth to say something mean, anything really, but what comes out is, “Is Ellie really okay?”

He opens and shuts his mouth. “Uh, yeah,” he says, and rubs the back of his neck. “She will be. She’ll be pissed if I tell you everything without her, but we had a real rough go of it, coupla close calls.”

You squeeze your eyes shut, seeing their mangled bodies from your nightmares. You take a deep breath and find him watching you with a pinched brow and a deep-set frown.

“And you? You’re okay too?” you say.

“Yeah, a’course. I’m fine.” He pauses and scratches his beard. “Look, m’not sorry.”

“Fine.” You turn to walk away, to go back and grab your things and get out of there before Tommy can see that you’re upset.

“Now, just hold on a minute,” Joel says, jogging to follow after you. “You hear me out.”

“No thanks. I don’t need an excuse, Joel. We don’t owe each other a damn thing.”

“Can you just stop bein’ a stubborn brat for two goddamn minutes? I’m tryin’ to tell you something.”

You spin around to face him with a nasty sneer you hadn’t worn the whole time Joel was gone. “Maybe I don’t want to hear anything you have to say to me.”

He pushes you up against the wall. It’s not rough, but he’s got a firm grip on your shoulders, and for one fleeting moment, you think about yelling for help. He must see something in your eyes because he drops his arms to his sides and steps back.

“Wasn’t gonna—I wasn’t gonna hurt you.” He mumbles the last bit to the ground, can’t look you in the eye, can’t see fear on your face for the first time.

“Wait,” you say as he turns to leave. “I know you weren’t, Joel.” You can’t look at him either, voice quiet. “I’m just not used to people touching me like that anymore.”

“I’m not—I swear—”

“I know. Joel,” you sigh and look up at the stars, wishing you believed in any higher power to ask for a little guidance. But you don’t; you’ve seen enough that all you trust is your own two feet on the ground and the whole damn Miller clan.

You scuff the toe of your boot in the dirt. “Why’re y’all like this?” you grumble.

“What?”

Whoops. You hadn’t actually meant to say that out loud. You sigh again and look up at him. “We can’t fight. I don’t want Alé to think her uncle and auntie can’t get along.”

“Auntie?”

“Yeah. Your dumb ass left me here with your brother as a watchdog. What did you think was gonna happen?”

Truth be told, he didn’t know. Didn’t really know Tommy anymore. “That’s good,” he says after a moment. “I’m glad ya weren’t alone.”

“Oh, I tried. He’s a persistent little fucker.”

He looks up at you and sighs, shaking his head. “I’m still not sorry,” the words come out fast, like he knows he’s got thirty seconds before you run away again. “Nearly died too many damn times. Don’t think I could’ve gotten us all out alive.”

You’ve thought about this moment more than you’d like to admit. Thought about the things you were going to say, the cruel ways you could dig between his ribs and pry. Thought about slapping him in the face, even. But in the end, you’re too tired of it all to consider any of it.

“If you wanna talk, let’s go someplace and talk.”

It catches him off guard. You feel spitefully pleased that he doesn’t know what to expect from you. But it stings a little, too.

You end up going back to his place. Tommy had wasted no time helping get things set up for them to have a home, hopeful that it would keep them there.

You make tea in his kitchen, using the things he didn’t know he had. He accepts a mug of it, even though it’s decaf.

“Too late for you to be having caffeine anyway,” you scold when he grumbles.

He sits down across from you at the dining table, mug wrapped in both hands. You take a moment to look at him. He looks more than six months older. He’s gone grayer, and there are new scars, new marks on him that you don’t recognize.

He looks away from your scrutinizing, tapping fingers against his mug, and shakes his head. “I ain’t got a thing to say for myself. I’m not sorry I left you here, but I am sorry I hurt you.”

Your mouth runs off without you. “Holy shit. Who are you, and what’ve you done with Joel Miller? An apology?”

But he doesn’t laugh. He doesn’t roll his eyes and call you a brat. Instead, he looks down at the table and purses his lips.

It makes you shift in your seat, legs turning automatically to angle for a better escape route. “Hey,” you say, swallowing hard. You wait until he looks up. “It is what it is. I didn’t have any delusions about what this was.” You gesture loosely between you.

“I mighta.”

You feel a lot like the time your sister pushed you off the diving board at the neighborhood pool, limbs flailing until you landed flat on your stomach in the water. “Run that by me again?”

“I got it in my head that you were mine. And then I didn’t like that much, so I told myself I was doin’ what was best for both of us.”

It’s your turn to purse your lips, but you don’t look away, afraid that if you do, he’ll stop talking.

He sighs again. “Look, I ain’t good at this. But I care about ya, okay?”

“Joel—”

“I know you’ve got a life here, now. Don’t know if you’ve got any room in it for me. But Ellie knows it’s my fault you didn’t come, so don’t go pushin’ her away, okay?”

“Joel—”

“And I know you got close with Tommy. I’ll just meet up with him somewhere you’re not, tell him he’s gotta warn you if I’m comin’ over or something.”

“Joel!”

He shuts his mouth, eyes wide.

“God, when you get going, you get going. I don’t think you’ve ever said so many words to me in a day, let alone one sitting.” It’s not what you meant to say. It’s never what you mean to say, and usually, you don’t care about your runaway tongue, but right now, you really want to say the right thing.

You’re not so far. He’s shutting down quick, you can see the walls going back up as he works his jaw back and forth.

“Joel,” you try again, softer. “You don’t have to do all that. I care about you, too. I spent so long trying not to that when you gave me an excuse to hate you, I jumped on it. I’m not any good at this, either.”

He watches your face carefully, peeling his fingers away from his mug and reaching the hand across the table. His warm hand slides between your own and your mug. He cradles it, your right hand in his left. Your breath catches.

You stare at where you connect, his broad palm covering yours. There are fucking butterflies in your stomach, like you’re a fucking teenager. Your ears and the back of your neck burn as you have to bite your lip to keep from grinning.

“What’s so funny?” He starts to pull back.

You tighten your grip and hold on, giving in to the urge to smile. “Not laughin’, Miller. Just,” and you shake your head. “We’re too damn old to be so stupid about this.”

He shakes his head, jaw twitching, before his own smile peeks through. “Y’ain’t wrong.”

You sit there for a few minutes, the silence warmed by your still-steaming tea and clasped hands.

“I know you said we don’t owe each other anything,” he says slowly. “But I was thinkin’ maybe I owe you a better kind of apology.”

“Oh yeah? You gonna get on your knees and grovel for me?”

His smile curls into a dangerous smirk. “I’m gonna get on my knees, but you’re gonna be the one beggin’, sweetheart.”

“Don’t make promises you aren’t going to keep.”

He pulls his hand from yours and takes both mugs, dumping them down the sink while you protest. But you don’t whine about it for long, because he turns and quirks an eyebrow at you. “If you’d hurry up, I was plannin’ on making good on that promise right now.”

You let him pull you up the stairs, trying to leave your anxieties behind on the landing. He’s kissing you before the bedroom door is shut, sliding his hands up your shirt to hold onto your bare waist.

“This okay, darlin’?”

You nod, bumping your nose against his in your eagerness to recapture his lips. You think he meant to go slow, but it doesn’t work out. Neither of you really know how, anyway, though you think maybe you’d like to learn.

Once he has you peeled out of your jeans and tee, he sits you on the edge of the bed and goes to make good on his promise.

“Wait,” you say, even though the last thing you want him to do is stop.

He freezes, worry written in the lines of his face.

“You can’t really be on your knees like that, Joel; they’ll be so swollen tomorrow.”

“S’worth it,” he grunts, trying to bat off your hands where they’ve wrapped their concern in his shirt.

“Nah, get up here,” you say, tugging until he eases himself back up.

“Fine, I got a better idea anyway,” he says, laying back on the pillows and pulling until you straddle him. “Get up here, sweetheart.”

You feel like you’ve come down with a fever, body gone hot but shivering from the cold. “Um, what?”

He shakes his head, mostly at himself. Of course you don’t know what he wants; he’s the only person in this godforsaken world that’s eaten your cunt.

“Come sit on my face, baby. Let me taste you. And no, y’ain’t gonna hurt me, just get up here.”

You shuffle forward until he loses his patience and yanks on your hips, jerking you forward so you have to catch yourself on the headboard. It works out anyway since he doesn’t give you any time to settle before he’s pulling you down. He licks right into your cunt, not wasting any time, before licking up to suck at your clit.

You cry out and apologize as your hips jerk forward.

“S’good, baby, take what you need,” he says, hot breath against your cunt before he gets back to work. He has you falling apart in no time, greedily lapping at everything you offer.

“Anyone touch you while I was gone?” he growls, nipping at your clit.

You cry out and grind down into his mouth, but he pulls back a little and slaps your ass.

“I asked you a question.”

“No, no one,” you gasp, trying again to reach his mouth.

He rewards you with his tongue, licking and sucking and biting until you give him another orgasm.

“Why’s that, pretty girl? Surely you could have fucked your way through this town by now.”

“Don’t—ahh—didn’t want anyone else.” His mouth has you confessing like your mama used to insist on when you were little. Admitting your most shameful secrets in the dark room. “Never did.”

He leans back to talk again, and you whine, a truly desperate, pathetic enough sound that he forgets what he had to say and gives you what you want.

He doesn’t quit until your thighs are shaking with the effort. He taps your leg to get you to slide off and immediately flips your positions so you’re caged under his body.

You bring your hands up to his biceps, gliding them over his broad shoulders, and cup his face. He leans down, pressing his lips to your forehead as he slides into your warm, welcoming cunt. He pulls his head back a little to watch as he presses inside, drinking up the way your mouth falls open in a silent gasp, muscles tightening against the stretch.

“Shh, baby, just relax. You can take it,” he kisses down your neck as he whispers. “I know it’s been a while, but that pretty little pussy can fuckin’ take it.”

You’re trembling under him, twitching and writhing as he kisses and bites across your collarbone and down to your breasts. He works himself deeper, sucking on your nipples until you cum again, muscles loosening just enough until his cock is buried to the base.

“Fuck,” he bites out, gritting his teeth and grinding into you. “Fuckin’ hell, I missed you.”

He catches the look in your eye and cuts you off. “And not just your cunt, either, smartass.”

You grin, and he kisses you, licking inside like he can wipe away your smugness.

You break away and kiss his neck up to bite his earlobe. “You fuckin’ like it.”

The look he gives you is overwhelmingly fond. It feels like something cracks inside your sternum.

“Yeah, I do,” he says.

You bury your face in his neck, biting down on the tendon on a particularly rough thrust. “You can’t just say shit like that, Joel. You’re gonna make me think you like me.”

“I don’t know how else I gotta say it, baby. I like you.”

You whimper, and he doesn’t press you to respond. Doesn’t need to. Instead, he brings his hand down to worry at your sore clit, brushing gently as you arch up, squirming both toward and away from the overstimulation.

“One more, gimmie one more,” he demands, pace increasing. Your body, as always, listens, and as your cunt grips him, he pulls out to spill on your pussy, coating your coarse curls in his spend.

He doesn’t leave you time to wonder if he’ll go back to cleaning you up now that there’s running water. He slides down, crouching, and licks your combined mess before climbing back up to kiss you and share the salty tang of your pleasures.

He doesn’t leave you time to wonder if he’ll kick you out, either. “Stay,” he murmurs against your lips. “Please.”

You nod, letting him melt you into the mattress with his soft touches.

He gives you his shirt to sleep in, his possessive post-orgasm brain demanding to mark you further. Unfortunately, he didn’t think it through, because that’s when you see it.

“What the fuck is that?” you ask, pointing at the still-pinkish scarring.

“Oh, that’s nothin’,” he says, arms dropping to lay across it in maybe the least casual way you’ve ever seen.

But you’ve got something sharp behind your eyes, something calculating. “You said you were fine.”

“I am fine. Quit your worryin’.”

“Fine, don’t tell me. I’ll hear it from Ellie tomorrow. Unless you want a chance to give me your version of the story.”

He groans and covers his face with both hands. “Fine. I fell and had a run-in with a bit of rebar. But I’m fine now.”

“You keep sayin’ that, making it sound like you definitely were not fine at one point.”

He thinks you’re going to be mad all over again, that you’ll say there was something you could have done, had you been there.

“I was fine until I wasn’t. We got it out, Ellie stitched me up, and we rested until I was better.”

“And the part you don’t want to tell me?”

“It got infected. Sepsis or some kind of bacteria. It wasn’t… it didn’t look good. Honestly, I don’t remember much of it.” He chances a look at you, and the tight feeling in his chest starts to creep in.

“Joel,” you whisper. You purse your lips, eyes scrunching, and take a shaky breath through your nose.

“Darlin’, please. I don’t—I can’t do this right now. Ya can’t cry like this right now.”

You close your eyes and take a few breaths. “Okay. But promise you’ll tell me everything another day?”

“I promise. C’mon, lay down.” He tugs at your wrist, and you let your body follow, curling up to his bare chest.

“It doesn’t hurt?”

“Nah, I’m tellin’ you. It’s fine now.” He presses a kiss to the top of your head and then helps himself to another at your lips. “Stop that,” he says when your eyes well up again.

“M’sorry. It’s just been a helluva fuckin’ day.”

“I know, baby. But you can rest now, okay? I got you.”

You don’t have to look far to find Ellie in the morning. She’s sitting at the kitchen table when you come down in just Joel’s shirt and your panties. Luckily, it’s long enough to cover everything, but you both freeze for a moment, staring at the other’s wide eyes.

“Come on,” she groans. “Are you fuckin’ kidding me? One night. You couldn’t go one night?” She’s thrown a hand over her eyes.

“I’m not naked, you drama queen,” you say, setting the kettle on.

“It’s so gross; he’s so old,” she groans.

“I’m not that much younger,” you remind her.

“Yeah, but you’re like, cool and stuff.”

“Sorry, honey,” you say, wrapping an arm around her shoulder and pressing a kiss to her hair. “I’m not that cool, either.”

She lets her head fall against the table. “Nope, can’t do it. I’m going to the mess for breakfast. Please, both of you be dressed, and like, six feet apart when I get back.”

You just laugh, digging through the cabinet for clean mugs as she grabs her bag and flees.

“What’s all the ruckus?” Joel asks, coming up behind you and wrapping his arms around your waist while you pour the tea.

“Oh, just traumatizing the teenager all over again.” You crane your neck to press a kiss to his cheek, but he catches you and steals it from your mouth instead.

“Be careful,” you murmur. “I could get used to this.”

“I fuckin’ hope so,” he says, “‘Cause I could get used to this. Pretty girl in my shirt makin’ me a drink.”

You roll your eyes. “Yeah, exactly like every day when I lived in your apartment.”

“Well,” he holds you a little tighter, kissing up your neck before resting his chin on your shoulder. “Maybe not exactly like that.”

epilogue

This is the end, y'all. I love you, and thank you so so much.

*title from "As It Was" by Harry Styles

#joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller x oc #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller fic #joel miller smut #you know you never stood a chance series #the last of us fic #the last of us smut

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starhvney · 1 month

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𝐒𝐔𝐁𝐉𝐄𝐂𝐓 𝟑 | 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝟗: 𝐅𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐕𝐀𝐋!

𝐂𝐖: none, really?

𝐀/𝐍: another very short and sweet chapter :) enjoy these peaceful snippets of life before it’s destroyed!

𝐖𝐂: 4,700 +

𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐓 ☆ 𝐍𝐄𝐗𝐓 | 𝐀𝐎𝟑 | 𝐅𝐈𝐂 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 | 𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐊𝐒

the next morning you’re woken up covered by limbs and two different blankets haphazardly thrown over you. lucinda’s arm was lazily thrown around your waist while nana had her head on your shoulder, and somehow teony’s legs managed to find their way on top of yours. you were pretty comfy in your spot so you couldn’t complain, but when you feel a buzz from right under your back you realize the limb trap you're in was a bit inconvenient.

slowly you bend your arm around, shimmying your hand down to awkwardly pull your phone from its confines and squinting at the screen as another message lights it up.

garroth added you, laurance, katelyn, and aphmau to the conversation.

garroth: good morning guys

garroth: i know this is super last minute planning but would you all be down to go to that fall carnival festival thing going on this afternoon?

laurance: oh yeah cadenza mentioned it the other day

laurance: i was actually thinking about going so i’m down

you: oooh that sounds fun!

you: i’ll have to see what the plans are for today, cause we’re still at aph’s house

there’s a sigh and some shuffling on the blankets over where the other girls were sleeping.

garroth: whoever else is there can come too! i just made this group chat cause i wasn’t sure who all to ask

kate: ugh you guys woke me up

laurance: ;D good morning to you too

kate: :I

kate: i think it’s just us two awake, we’ll ask everyone when they get up

garroth: ok cool

garroth: just lmk

you: we will!

laurance: yeah don’t leave me alone with him pls

garroth: bruh

the blue haired girl quietly giggles in the quiet room, and you hear her shuffle before you see her stand up.

kate: reading garroth say bruh is so funny

you: lmao now laurance…

laurance: hahahaha just jokes just jokes

you: i’ll be sure to be super convincing, i really do wanna go

kate: yeah same

garroth: yeah laurance my true friends here

laurance: oh whatever you know you still love me schnookims

you: what!!

katelyn has shuffled over to you, standing by your feet and quietly snickering while you try to contain your own giggles from rocking the girls next to you.

kate: gross

garroth: :(

laurance: hahahaha

“need to be pulled outta there?” katelyn offers with an amused look on her face, leaning over while holding out her hands.

you glance to either side of you before nodding, reaching up to your freedom while gently shimmying out of everyone’s hold on you. she latches onto your wrists pretty easily, and pulls you up into a standing position without much effort.

the room was still pretty dim, the morning sun filtered by aphmau’s blinds and setting a purple hue through her sheer curtains. no wonder she’s been super late to walk with you some mornings. if your room was a pretty purple every morning you’d have trouble getting up, too.

“thanks.” you whisper, and katelyn gives a thumbs up in return.

“i think aphmau’s awake.” she murmurs. the two of you glance over to the girl in question, who was rubbing her eyes with one hand while flopping her hand around to grab her phone with the other.

it takes her a few seconds to realize you were both watching her, and after making a small noise of surprise she gets up herself, guiding you both downstairs with her to the kitchen while she catches up on the group chat.

she completely pauses in the middle of the room, making a small “ooh!” sound while typing away on her phone.

aph: i’m super down for that!! there’s nothing else planned for today so we for sure can come!!!

garroth: oh nice!

garroth: does meeting there at two sound good?

kate: that’s perfect

laurance: yep!

you: yay! see y’all later!

laurance: y’all

garroth: y’all

kate: y’all

you: …

katelyn snorts at the unintimidating glare you send her way, and when aphmau snorts and another buzz comes from your phone you already know what it’s going to say.

aph: y’all :3

you: man.

☆

despite inviting everyone, they unfortunately all were busy with other plans for the day, leaving you, katelyn, and aphmau as the only ones left to go. nana was probably the most upset by this, thanking you a hundred times for including her with promises of more sweets for you all in the future.

“what? you’re ditching us for your boyfriend?” aphmau pouts, and you send a similar look over to the taller girl to double on the guilt.

“i can’t hang out with him often outside of school cause of my dad, and he’s here today!” katelyn defends with her arms crossed. “i was just hanging out with you guys yesterday and today.”

“just say you don’t love us.” you wrinkle your face in a fake act of crying.

“oh brother.” she rolls her eyes.

“hey, ladies!” a familiar friendly voice calls, and a polite pat on your shoulder follows as the katelyn-snatcher himself walks past you.

you want to send a teasing comment his way, but truly can’t bring yourself to do it to the senior’s kind face as he wraps an arm around katelyn’s shoulder.

“hey, jeffory.” is what leaves your lips instead, the other sarcastic quips you had cooked up in your head fizzling out.

he gives you a cheerful grin, before looking down to the freshman next to you. “ah, sorry. i’ve seen you around, but i don’t think we’ve met…?”

“i’m aphmau!”

you feel proud of the lack of shakiness in her voice and the sure little smile she gives. she’s already gained some confidence, despite everything.

“oh, that’s right! kate’s talked about you a lot. it’s nice to meet you.”

“you too!”

soon enough katelyn is wishing you two adieu while dragging her sweet boy away, leaving just you and aphmau to wander further into the park.

you added aph, garroth, and laurance to the conversation.

guys, me and aph have been abandoned :,( :you

garroth: haha what?

kate ditched us for her man :you

laurance: boooo thumbs down tomato tomato

aph: that’s what i’m saying

garroth: ahh i see

garroth: well i was running a little late but i’m pulling up

aph: okay sounds good!

laurance: i see you two

aph: o.o

he’s a creep :you

he’s a weirdo :you

“are you really making a radiohead reference in the group chat right now?” laurance snorts from in front of you.

aphmau looks up from her phone. “…what the hell are you doing here?”

you and laurance stare over at the girl, before glancing back at each other and breaking out in amused snickers. laurance then raises his brows, head whipping back to the shorter girl.

“aph, did you just cuss?”

you gasp, placing a hand over your mouth and the other one on his shoulder. “baby’s first curse word!”

aphmau’s face reddens as she begins to stutter. “i was continuing the joke! also what?”

“with this again!” laurance groans into his hands, a few giggles leaking through his act.

“with what?!” she pouts in annoyance.

you and laurance glance at each other from the corner of your eyes, before giggling again.

“what?!”

“hey guys.” garroth’s deep voice interrupts you before you can begin to explain the inside joke, completely steering aphmau’s attention away.

“oh, garroth! hi!”

the tall blonde smiles warmly at the three of you, giving side hugs in greeting and looking around. “you guys have anything you want to do first?”

“oh, before we do anything, i want you two to meet someone.” laurance suddenly says, walking backward further into the park and beckoning for you all to follow.

after exchanging confused looks the three of you walk after the brunette, soon finding yourselves in a cute small apple orchard entrance. he walks forward, confidently talking to a group of older teen girls.

a wooden sign nearby read “pick your own apples, get them candied at the booth!” with an employee standing by, handing out baskets and taking tickets.

“this is… so… cute!” aphmau fawns, looking around with stars in her eyes and her hands on her cheeks. “i was already excited about this place since i’ve never been to a festival before, but this really tops it off!”

“wait really? you’ve never been to one before?” garroth looks over surprised.

“i mean,” she shrugs with a giggle. “not one that i remember.”

you look up at garroth. “does this festival come around often?”

he nods enthusiastically. “yeah! they collaborate with the farmers here and open for every new season and holiday time, it’s pretty cool.” he glances around. “everyone in the neighborhoods nearby and at school comes here. i’m surprised you two haven’t heard of it yet.”

“well excuse us, we just recently moved back and i was homeschooled! remember?” aphmau teases him, and he sheepishly scratches the nape of his neck.

“oh, right! my bad.”

“here, these are them.” laurance’s voice returns, and a tall beautiful girl is beside him when you look up.

long waist-length ginger hair, a round face, and facial features that made her look like she was straight out of a renaissance painting. she looked super stylish, too, with the earth-toned dress she paired with tall leather boots and eccentric gold jewelry.

“well, don’t be rude and actually introduce me to them, silly.” she teases, placing her hands over her hips as she glances over at the boy next to you. “oh, hey garroth.”

“hi.” he waved back.

laurance announces yours and aphmau’s names accordingly, before gesturing to the girl next to him. “and this is my sister, cadenza. she’s a senior.”

oh, this is his sister. he’d mentioned her a few times to you, so it was nice to put a face to the name. though, it wasn’t the face you were expecting… a completely different skin tone from laurance’s, light blue eyes, and a total difference in facial features. what did their parents look like?

“oh, really? you two don’t look that much alike, i wouldn’t have guessed!” aphmau chirps in, voicing your inner monologue.

cadenza hums, glancing over to laurance. “oh, have you not told them?”

laurance sheepishly looks off in thought, blowing away the bangs from his face—the caramel strands started to grow out recently.

“oh. no, i haven’t. i guess it hasn’t come up…” he glances back at the two of you. “we don’t look alike because cadenza and i aren’t actually blood-related. we’re adopted.”

“oh!” aphmau says, blinking a bit in shock at the news.

“well, that explains it.” you laugh, a bit surprised yourself, but brush it off as you smile at the older girl. “it’s nice to meet you! laurance has mentioned you a lot.”

cadenza awes, leaning over to squish her little brother’s cheek between her manicured fingers. “so you really do care about me!”

laurance huffs, pulling her hand away. “duh. and stop trying to make me look less cool in front of my friends. not cool.”

“oh come on, you’re a dork and i’m sure they know it. right, garroth?” she looks at the blonde, who snickers and nods his head in agreement. “no need to get shy in front of cute girls.”

“i’m not—”

“besides, nothing uncool about having an amazing sister.” she flips her hair, before looking back as someone from her group calls her over. “one sec!”

she turns to smile warmly at the two of you. “it was so nice to meet the both of you! we’ll have to actually talk sometime soon. maybe at lunch.”

“oh, it was nice to meet you too!” aphmau pipes up.

“yeah, we’ll see you around!”

cadenza points at laurance, narrowing her eyes. “love you, dork. remember we leave in two hours.”

“yeah, uh huh. love you too.” he deadpans, wiggling his fingers bye as he starts to walk back towards the main area of the festival.

“she’s so cool.” you murmur, glancing back as cadenza makes her way back over to her friends.

“yeah yeah, if you become friends with her you can’t leave me in the dust, okay?” laurance scoffs, spinning around on his heels and walking backward.

“and her style…” aphmau adds on in admiration, completely ignoring laurance’s words.

“…no wonder you dress well.”

“hey, i—thank you? but i know how to dress.” he defends, seeming confused about whether he should feel complimented or not.

“thanks to cadenza’s advice?” garroth shoots back teasingly.

he opens his mouth to argue, before sighing and pursing his lips with a short nod. “yeah, okay. fine.”

“you’re still super cool to me, don’t worry.” you reassure with a double thumbs up.

he tsks with a sassy roll of his eyes, rocking his head side to side as he shrugs. “wasn’t even worried, i know i’m the coolest.”

“yeah, okay bud.” garroth sarcastically deadpans, making laurance straighten his back and narrow his eyes as he stops in place.

you and aphmau step aside, while the boys rush each other, attempting to put the other in a headlock.

“take it back!”

“nuh uh—“

“guys, we are literally in public right now.” you sigh.

“yeah, people are staring.” aphmau squeakily adds, stepping closer to you as nearby people watch in amusement.

the two straighten up, staring at each other before nodding and hugging. not a word is exchanged as they pat each other on the back, before pulling away and looking around like nothing happened.

“what just…” aphmau mutters in confusion, looking mildly concerned at the display in front of her, glancing up at you and back to them. “…happened?”

“hell if i know. i was just reminded that they’re very much teenage boys, though.” you whisper back.

“hey! look over there!” garroth points very suddenly towards a few activities.

aphmau gasps excitedly as she focuses on something. “face painting!”

he pauses. “uh, yes there’s that… but i was talking about the caricatures.”

aphmau stiffens, a nervous giggle leaving her lips as she follows along towards the line. “oh, yeah. face painting is for kids anyways…”

laurance hums, glancing at her embarrassed expression and stepping forward while looking at the people ahead. “man, this line is kinda long, isn’t it?”

and that it is, the line stretched about ten people long. for a long process like caricature drawings…you’d imagine you’d have to stand here for a while.

“maybe we should come back later?”

garroth shrugs. “yeah, i just thought it would be funny. we don’t have to.”

aphmau looks around before pointing off. “uh, well while you guys figure it out, i’m gonna run to the restroom.”

she walks off, and you tap your fingers together as you think of what to do. the line has just moved up a group, and even you turn your head the delicious smell of sweet and salty carnival foods hot your nose.

“well, why don’t we grab a snack while we wait and figure out what to do next?” you suggest, staring off at the food booths further down the path.

“that sounds good to me. i’ll hold our place in line.” garroth says, pulling his phone from his pocket and leaning on the railing.

you nod, and when you walk off, laurance follows. the two of you walk in comfortable silence for a few moments, before he suddenly speaks up.

“how are you?”

the sudden question throws you off, and for a second you take it at face value before you look over into the gray-green of his irises. immediately you know what he’s really checking up on, and you shrug with a small smile.

“i’m fine for now.” you look back to where garroth stands, stepping in line for some soft pretzels. “i guess… i kinda want to tell you more about what happened.”

he tilts his head with an encouraging hum for you to continue, shoving his hands in his pockets.

“so.” you huff, trying to figure out how to start. “this all actually kinda started from the first day—”

“huh?” he raises his eyebrows, before shaking his head. “sorry, continue.”

“—and it was actually ivy who started it.” he sighs and nods, not seeming too shocked to your relief. “she really did not like me or aphmau, and kept pestering us and bullying aphmau.”

you look down at your feet. “she laid her hands on aph once, and the second time i was with her, so i… swung and beat her up.”

sudden laughter interrupts you, making you jump. laurance covers his mouth with his hand, gaining his composure.

“you beat up ivy? sorry, i just did not expect that. how did no one find out about this?” he snickers.

“she actually got in trouble, cause the teacher knew she instigated.” you explain, shoulders relaxing in relief at how strongly laurance was on your side in all of this. “so she knew if she tried to say something to people she’d get called out by an adult. this happened a while back, actually..”

his eyes widen and shine with recollection.

“oh, shit. when she was suddenly all bruised up that week, that was you?” he says in wonder. “remind me not to make you angry. i would’ve never guessed you fought her, you didn’t have a mark on you.”

you bite your lip and look away, recalling how… unnaturally quickly your injuries healed up. you’d brushed over it when it happened. but thinking back on it, it was strange, wasn’t it? how did you do that?

“…sorry. are you okay?” he asks quietly.

“oh! i’m fine, just thinking.” you quickly shake those thoughts away. now wasn’t the time to dwell on it again. “anyways, the reason that’s relevant is because… gene got a picture of me beating her up and used it to threaten mine and aph’s reputation.”

laurance frowns, scoffing under his breath. “of course he did. but you know that a lot of people would take your side?”

“i know that now, but we panicked. and he’s very convincing, i’m sure you know.” you say, and he sighs with a nod. “and we weren’t sure if ivy was as well-liked as she seemed. we were scared of getting even more people to dislike us before even being at this school for a year.”

“i get that.” he sighs. “it’s just upsetting.”

“you’re telling me.” you elbow his side. “anyways… he ended up getting me to buy cigarettes with him at the gas station and meet his mom—”

“what.”

“—and got both me and aphmau to skip school and vandalize.” laurance sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose between his fingers. “we went back at night to try and fix it and almost got arrested by a cop—”

“oh my go—”

“let me finish!” you giggle, the mix of anger and complete bafflement on his face a bit amusing now that you are comfortable with telling him all of this. “and that was this week. remember when you asked why we were so tired?”

“and nothing’s happened since?”

you shake your head. “i cussed out gene, i guess. he said he’d leave me alone, but… i’m not sure if he’s gonna stick to that or not.”

“really?” he looks genuinely impressed.

you nod, pausing the discussion to order your snacks.

“why haven’t you told garroth any of this?” laurance suddenly asks, shoving forward the money before you can pay.

you sigh, tapping your fingers on the counter of the pretzel stand. “it’s not that i don’t trust him or anything… i just don’t want him to feel guilty or anything.”

he wrinkles his nose. “why would you think that?”

you cringe. “well, the reason ivy started all this was because she was jealous about aph and i being… friends with him? i don’t know, it’s really weird.”

laurance scoffs before bursting out in laughter. “no way! this all started over her having a possessive crush on garroth? oh, how could i not tease him over this?”

you sigh, taking the pretzels and tilting your head in disapproval as you both start walking back to the prince charming himself.

“i’m not against telling him. just—don’t you think he’d… blame himself a little? or at the very least feel uncomfortable?”

laurance calms his snickering, sighing with a nod. “yeah, garroth has always been harsher on himself with these things. but if you were getting into some trouble just because a girl was being… honestly creepy about me and harassing you over it? i would want to know.” he looks down. “there’s a lot of people who only care to interact with garroth and i because of our looks. you’re one of the few genuine friends we have, so we want you to tell us these things. especially if we’re involved—involuntarily or not.”

you find yourself in stunned shock, his response so mature and understanding it was jarring.

“i won’t tell him if you don’t want me to.”

“no, no i think he should know.” you mutter. “thank you, laurance. you kinda knocked some sense into me.”

“good.” a lighthearted scoff leaves his lips, before his steps stutter and he squints ahead. “what the hell…?”

you glance up to see a couple walking past aphmau as they giggle down at a piece of paper. she looks equally confused, glancing over at the two of you before staring over at the caricature booth.

“…garroth?”

and there he is, standing by the art easel with a pen and markers in hand and a proud look on his face while he shoves something in his pocket.

“what are you doing?” you ask the obvious question shared between the three of you, walking over to hand him a pretzel.

“oh, well,” he starts, taking a deep breath to prepare himself for what seemed like a long-winded explanation. “this lady got her purse stolen by a thief, and she needed a person to sketch him out so she could show it to the police. but she was so frantic that it startled the artist here and he fell over and broke his drawing wrist. so i volunteered to draw him out instead and they were able to use it to find him in the crowd.”

“…really?” aphmau blinks.

garroth stares seriously at the three of you, before breaking out in a dorky smile. “no.”

you and laurance snicker, while the shorter girl huffs.

“the guy who runs the stand left for a break and some people asked me to draw them instead for twenty bucks. then another couple thought my horrible drawing was hilarious and asked me to draw them, too.” he explains in amusement.

aphmau starts to giggle, and you can’t help but join in at the ridiculousness of it. is he even allowed to do that?

“i think everyone discovered your art.” laurance muses.

“i know, right?” garroth beams with his hands on his hips.

his best friend snorts. “no, i mean the line is gone.”

garroth glances over the easel, blowing some air from his lips. “aw, man…”

“hey, at least you’re improving, right?” aphmau suggests, patting his arm as she tries to stifle her laughter.

garroth lifts his chin and closes his eyes, looking quite proud as he puffs out his chest. “thanks… wanna see me draw laurance?”

“sure!” aphmau’s face lights up as she scoots in next to him. “as long as i can draw you!”

laurance drags you over and squeezes in around the easel. “then i’ll draw you and you can draw aphmau.”

you laugh, picking up one of the pens. “okay, sure.”

after the four of you continuously bump shoulders and glance at each other for reference with amused laughter, you find yourselves staring at the finished product about five minutes later. there’s a small difference in style and… quality between each one, but the cartoonish little recreations of all of you were insanely cute to see.

“okay, you guys have to let me post this.” aphmau giggles, pulling out her phone with a wide smile.

garroth nods excitedly, wrapping his arms around you and laurance to lean in behind aphmau. “yeah, it looks good!”

after she takes the snap you turn around, ripping the page from the sketch pad and carefully rolling it up. “i’m keeping this.”

“what? i want it.” laurance protests, trying to reach for the page.

“nuh-uh. i’m hanging it on my wall!” you jump back, twisting your hands away from his reach.

he scoffs, narrowing his eyes and lifting his hands away. “fine. we get shared custody.”

“me too.”

“me three!”

you sigh at the three of your friends, before breaking out in a mischievous smile. “no.”

they begin to protest immediately, but before they can try to argue again you catch a glimpse of familiar blue hair approaching.

“what are you dorks doing?” katelyn snickers, this time not accompanied by the boy she ran off with.

“fighting over custody,” aphmau says, sighing when you briskly walk over to kate’s side with an accomplished smile on your face.

“o…kay…?” she snorts. “well, jeffory had to leave early, so. what did you guys want to do next?”

“now you come running back to us…” you shake your head with pursed lips, only to get lightly shoved away by katelyn into the nearby railing.

“rude!” aphmau laughs, though her eyes trailed just behind the two of you towards something in the distance. “i don’t really care what we do, i’ll have fun either way.”

slowly, you follow her line of sight back to the face painting stand and recall her excitement from before.

“you wanna greet your face painted?”

“what?” she flusters, turning away and fidgeting with her hands. “no, no. those are for kids, right?”

“i mean, you’ve never been to one of these things, right? and we’re still young… enough…” you shrug.”i’ll get mine done, too.”

she stutters. “you will?!”

“yeah, why not?”

katelyn awes, placing a hand over her chest. “well isn’t that cute.”

you turn to her, latching onto her arm. “you think so? then you can do it, too.”

“wh—” she scoffs, trying to pull back before aphmau also pulls her by her other arm. “i don’t think so.”

“yeah! you too!”

“and you two.” you turn your head, staring pointedly at the two boys who watched in amusement while beginning to drag katelyn with you.

garroth stiffens up, his ears turning a bit red as his eyes dart to the childish designs on display. “er, i don’t know—”

he’s interrupted by laurance who wolfishly grins, clapping his hand on his shoulder and pushing him forward. the bored girl at the booth—who looked maybe college student age—stares at the five of you with a sigh that turns into mild amusement.

aphmau and you have katelyn locked in your arms like a prison. one she could most definitely easily break from if she put any effort to it, sure, but a prison nonetheless. laurance pushes garroth into the seat backing up with a chuckle when the boy gives him a small glare.

“he wants the glittery zebra design.”

“what? why do i have to get that one? what, you’re gonna get a cooler one?” garroth scoffs while the face painter shrugs and pulls out her pallet.

laurance snickers. “yeah, i’m gonna get the glittery leopard print. way cooler than zebra.”

a few stares and a few picture-taking sessions in the photo booth later, you and your freshly painted friends’ faces wander around the park, cheeks and stomachs sore from laughter.

“oh, i’m so posting these, actually.” katelyn snickers down at the pictures, admiring the cool blue dragon design that curled from her cheekbone to her forehead.

“see.” you elbow aphmau’s side. “not childish at all.”

she gratefully smiles up at you, shrugging her shoulders up in overwhelming giddiness before eagerly looking around. “yeah! so, what now?”

“wanna get something to eat?” laurance suggests, steering towards the food stalls again.

“ooh, yeah. i smelled that funnel cake earlier, it smelled super good.”

garroth perks up. “i love funnel cake!”

“yeah, then we can go ride a few of the rides they have.” katelyn adds, biting her lip with a rather devious-looking sparkle in her eyes. “whoever throws up first on the spinning teacup owes everyone a free drink.”

“ew, no way!”

tag list: @orinlin @pain-in-the-ashe @youmake1mistake @arienic @wasting-away-on-the-internet @merurishi

©starhvney, 2024. please do not steal or repost my works as your own.

#aphmau mystreet #mystreet x reader #mystreet #aphmau #x reader #phoenix drop high #aphmau pdh #pdh #reader insert #fem reader #aphblr #aphmau katelyn #pdh laurance #pdh garroth #pdh katelyn #laurance zvahl #garroth ro'meave

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burntheedges-updates · 1 year

Text

over again, chapter 3: dinner

This is my updates-only blog! Follow me at @burntheedges Joel Miller x f!reader summary: you fell in love with Joel Miller in Austin, Texas, in 2001, but you thought you lost him and your whole family in 2003 when the world turned upside down. now it's 2024, and you find the surprise of your life waiting for you in Jackson, Wyoming. or, five times you and Joel fell deeper in love, on both sides of the apocalypse (and one time you did something about it) 18+ minors DNI chapter tags/warnings: fluff, flirting, banter, angst, bisexual!reader (like me), dancing, holding hands, a bit of pining, kissing (!!!) (the smut is coming so soon, y’all) a/n: Welcome to chapter 3! We’re finally getting somewhere with these two… and there’s a bit of dancing. The Austin section of this chapter was the preview I posted a few weeks back, but it's been edited a bit. music note: All songs mentioned in this fic are on the playlist. The first 19 songs on the playlist are the mix CD mentioned in this chapter. The playlist post has annotations about the first 19 songs with mild spoilers, so skip reading those for now if you’d rather wait. I was a teenager in 2000 and I grew up in the south (and lived in Texas for a bit, later), so I was aiming for songs I would have heard on the radio and songs the reader and Joel definitely would have heard on the radio and when they went out dancing. word count: 8.2k

series main post | series playlist | ao3 | ch 1 | ch 2

Chapter 3: Dinner

Jackson, Spring 2024

Despite your agreement in his kitchen, you don’t talk to Joel the next day, or even the one after that, except in passing. He’s still taking care of Ellie, and you end up staying in the stables overnight to help with the birth of a foal. (You try to imagine yourself from Before doing anything like that, but it’s impossible.) At least you’re able to sleep again, after that. You’re too tired not to.

It’s been three days when Joel catches you outside around dinner time and asks if he can walk with you, as he’s planning to pick some dinner up for Ellie. She’s feeling better, apparently, but not up for the dining hall quite yet. You remember being wary of it yourself when you first arrived, so you don’t blame her.

Joel falls into step beside you, in silence at first. The air between you is more comfortable than it was three days ago — it feels easier to walk next to him, less fraught to look at him. You imagine touching his hand again and it seems possible. You were exhausted then, it’s true, but it was also overwhelming to be around him like that after so long. Now you’re a little more used to the idea.

You use the quiet moment to look him over, checking the outline of his shoulders, his hips, his gait against the Joel in your memory. He’s grayer now of course, but so are you. He’s the same shape but somehow even broader than Before — same Joel, just stronger, and hardier, and more weathered. You can see a hint of discomfort in his walk, but you all have that these days. The sign of a person who has to walk everywhere. It wears at your joints.

You don’t notice how long you’ve been checking him out in silence until your gaze wanders back to his face and you find him smirking at you, knowingly.

“See something you like, darlin’?” You feel a rush of warmth towards your face, but you’re not really embarrassed.

“Maybe I do, neighbor.” You tilt your head at him and smile a bit. “Same as always.”

He shakes his head and works his jaw to hide a wider smile. “I’m pretty sure we’ve said that to each other before.”

“Yeah, I think we did. That night we had dinner at your place after Sarah was sick.” It’s easier to recall things like that, now that you’ve let yourself start. It’s like the memories were just waiting for you to acknowledge them and now they’re all pouring out.

He tenses a little when you say Sarah’s name, making you wonder if you shouldn’t have. But she was yours too, and you can’t let go of that. You never have and you won’t start now. Not even for Joel.

He looks away and then back at you, seeming to shake it off and moving a little closer to nudge your shoulder. “You still remember what I taught you? Pretty sure we had our first lesson that night.” He winks, the old flirt. You laugh.

“Joel, I haven’t danced with anyone since the last time I danced with you. I can’t promise I even remember the steps.”

He pauses, slows to a stop, and turns towards you fully. “Maybe we should give it another shot, see if, um,” he clears his throat. “See if we still partner so well.” You meet his eyes, and you see he’s feeling the same things you are – hesitation, hope, maybe a little fear. Maybe a lot.

That feeling that’s been pulling at you – that second chance you’ve been thinking about for months – becomes almost tangible in the air between you as he speaks. It makes you feel brave.

You step a little bit closer and reach out to slide your hand into his. He closes his eyes, just for a moment, and you hear his breath hitch.

“Tommy always did say we could light up a dance floor.” You look down at your hands and decide to go for it, too. “I’d like to see if we can, still.” You’re talking about more than dancing, and you both know it. “But I know Ellie comes first, and I don’t want to rush into anything and mess it up. I missed you,” you see he’s formed a shaky fist with his free hand, while the hand holding your own is relaxed and warm. “But we’ve done a lot of living without each other.”

You look back up at him, hesitantly. You don’t want to push for too much, too fast. You have no idea what fast or slow mean for the two of you anymore.

Joel nods, twining his fingers through your own and squeezing gently. “We have. But even now I’d never have doubted you’d understand about Ellie. You’re a great mom.”

He uses present tense, which makes you suck in a sharp breath. You feel it again, that echo from the past. It still hurts. Maybe it’s like building muscle and it’ll fade the more you let yourself feel it.

“She doesn’t know you, of course, and she’s wary of strangers. And we need to get to know each other now. But we can take it slow.” He smiles at you, a bit sadly, and squeezes your hand again.

“Slow is fine with me, cowboy.”

He looks surprised, and then huffs out a short laugh. “No one’s called me that in 20 years.”

“No one’s called me darlin’, either.” For a moment, you just lock eyes and take each other in.

“Do you want to come over for dinner soon? Maybe next week, I want to try to get Ellie to leave the house first.” He looks hopeful, but also still hesitant.

“I’d like that, Joel. And I’m happy to wait until she’s ready. I’m still getting used to these- um, these feelings, myself.” He nods, and you know in that moment he understands what you can’t put into words.

“It wasn’t easy for me, at first. I reacted badly.” He shakes his head, and you think maybe this is an understatement. You reach out to grasp his wrist, right above where your hands are intertwined. “I was cold, barely living back in Boston. Mostly just dying, slowly. Not ready for all the ways that kid can get under my skin. Not ready to have someone I would- that I could let down again. Everything she did reminded me of–“ he clears his throat. “Of Sarah. And I didn’t talk about her or let anyone else talk about her for 20 years. Even saying her name, it’s…” He trails off and looks down the road back towards your houses for a moment, working his jaw as he gathers his thoughts.

“Anyway. I think I know what you’re feeling. I’ve been there myself.” You nod, not sure what to say, or if you can get any words out. You squeeze his hand, this time.

He steps back a little, stepping out of the moment you’ve just shared. “Anyway. We should get on. I’ll let you know about dinner, and maybe you and I can meet for lunch sometimes? Until then?” You nod and smile, even as your hands separate well before you enter the dining hall.

…

You don’t manage lunch, but Joel does come back to you a couple of days later with an actual dinner invitation for the following Saturday, five days away. You agree of course, even though you know how anxious you’ll get with five days to wait. He must see it in your face because he reassures you, “Ellie told me to ask you, darlin’.”

So you manage, anxiously, counting down the days until Saturday. You keep busy in the stables and the garden and even eat with Tommy and Maria a couple of times, trying and failing to ban all teasing about it. He takes mercy on you when he sees the state you’ve wound yourself into by Friday afternoon.

“Everything’ll be fine, sunshine. No need to look so gloomy.” You can’t help but roll your eyes, wondering if you’ll ever escape Tommy Miller’s puns about the weather. You see Maria doing the same but Tommy just grins, unrepentant.

“I just don’t know what to expect, which makes it worse.”

He reaches over to pat you on the arm. “Ellie’s prickly, sure, but she adopted him the same as he adopted her. She cares about what he cares about. It’ll be fine.”

You’re not so sure, but you take the reassurance as it’s meant and try to breathe through some of your anxiety. It sort of works.

…

On Saturday you distract yourself with baking so you’ll have something in hand when you arrive at their house later. You haven’t made cookies in years (you hadn’t had the chance in years, before Jackson) but you think they turn out fine. You run out of things to do eventually and find yourself staring at your reflection in the bathroom mirror. With fifteen minutes to go you wrench yourself away (he knows what you look like and you’re both old, now, anyway) to finish getting ready. You glance at the shoe box by the door, wondering if you should bring it or leave it – maybe it won’t come up? It probably will, though. You sigh, unsure, and decide to leave it. You can run back and get it if you need to. Cookies in hand, you head next door.

You wonder if Ellie was waiting at the window, because she yanks the door open before you can knock. She raises an eyebrow at you and asks, “What’s that?” nodding at the plate in your hands.

“Cookies. You’re looking better.” You hand her the plate.

“Cookies!” her eyes get comically big as she takes them from you. Joel, demonstrating how much of a dad he still is and always will be, calls from the kitchen, “not until after dinner, Ellie!” She immediately frowns, looking mutinous. You grin at her as she rolls her eyes.

“Don’t worry, that whole plate is for the two of you. Plenty to go around.” She looks a bit mollified, and heads towards the kitchen. You follow.

You find Joel at the stove, spooning something out of a pan and on to three plates. “Whatever that is, it smells amazing, Joel.”

He smirks at you over his shoulder. “It’s pepper chicken.”

“No fucking way.”

It’s out before you can help yourself - you haven’t had a meal like that, from Before, in ages. Ellie snorts. “He’s been talking this up all day, it better be fucking good.”

He eyes her a little, but you cursed first (whoops), so what’s he going to say? He looks back to you and explains that Tommy helped him figure out how to make it with what they have in Jackson. “Hopefully it’s about the same.”

The three of you settle at the table as he sets out the plates, and you notice they’ve put a candle in the center of the table.

“Nice ambiance,” you say, grinning at him a little, trying to shake off your nerves.

Ellie laughs, a single emphatic ha!, loud and bright. “He would not stop talking about that candle all damn day. I told him it was cheesy, so he wanted to get rid of it, but then I told him you apparently liked cheesy romantic shit, so he should keep it.” Joel is staring Ellie down and clearly wants her to stop talking, but she’s looking at you and you’re nodding to encourage her.

“Oh? I do like cheesy romantic shit.” Ellie laughs again, clearly at his expense. “What else did he say?”

“That’s enough of that, I think,” Joel interrupts, cutting Ellie another look. “Let’s eat before it gets cold.”

You roll your eyes and see Ellie does the same. She grins at you, but then seems to catch herself – like she’s enjoying the back and forth, but isn’t sure of you yet. Fair.

You take a bite of the chicken and can’t stop the moan you let out at the taste. “Holy shit, Joel. How did you manage this?” When you look at him he’s already staring at you, fork dangling from his fingers, looking a little bit like he just got hit over the head with something. “Joel?”

He coughs and adjusts his seat. “Um, right. It wasn’t so hard, just traded for some ingredients from the garden. It’s good?”

“It’s great,” Ellie says. Clearly it’s true because she’s making the chicken disappear at the speed of light. At the same time she’s somehow also darting her eyes between the two of you, like you’re doing something suspicious. She lets the silence hang for a moment, but then asks, “so, what have you been up to for the last 20 years?”

“Ellie! I told you, we don’t need to hash everything out all at once. We can take it slow.” Joel cuts in, eyebrows furrowed in her direction.

“Oh come on, Joel, you’re such a dinosaur. But like, not one of the cool ones. Just ask! Why waste time?” You wonder what you did to make Ellie want to ask. You were nervous before, but now you’re feeling a bit like you’re walking a tightrope again. Is this a good thing or a bad thing? It’s impossible to tell, but it feels like it will go over worse if you refuse.

“We can talk about it. I don’t mind.” You try to give Joel an encouraging look as you respond. He’s quiet for a moment but then agrees.

“Alright. Don’t see why we shouldn’t, I guess.” His voice takes on a teasing note as he looks back towards Ellie. “Let’s just jump right in, since you want to so bad.” She rolls her eyes at him again.

“So, let’s hear it! Where have you been?”

You take a deep breath, trying to decide where to start. You know from Tommy the outline of what they did, where Joel has been – the locations, a few major events, and so on. But you don’t think he knows much about your story. You set down your fork and begin.

“On Outbreak day, I was in Boston at a conference for work. Joel and I talked on the phone that morning before the conference, but by the end of the day… well. Everything changed.” You take a sip of water. This part, at least, you’ve told someone before, so it’s not as hard to organize your thoughts. “I tried to call, I think everyone did, but the phones went down pretty quick. There was chaos, and then there was what became the QZ, later. But I left before they really got it going. I went south – all I wanted was to get home. To get to Texas.” You’ve been speaking to Ellie, mostly, but at this point you finally look at Joel, and you find him staring at you, unblinking, with the unreadable expression on his face that you know means he’s trying to hide some strong emotion. You look away from both of their gazes and down to the table, gathering yourself.

“I found a group heading south and went with them. We made it to Baltimore, but it was such a goddamn mess. They didn’t want to keep going and I didn’t want to go alone – I knew back then that I wouldn’t make it far – so I stayed, thinking I’d find another group. But staying for a little while turned into a long while and, well. You’ve probably heard what happened to the QZ there in ‘07.” Joel nods, you can see him out of the corner of your eye. You look at him again and find him the same as a moment ago, but with his fists clenched so tight his knuckles are white. You realize you’re staring and look away.

“At that point I was clinging to the hope that my family was still alive with the barest tips of my fingers. But having to leave Baltimore pushed me further south, and I ended up in Atlanta. And, well,” you look at Joel. “I ran into Joyce.” Joel starts in his seat, hands relaxing in his surprise.

“Joyce Roberts?” he asks, incredulous.

“Yep. That Joyce. Can you believe it? Just walked right into her on the street one day.” You look at Ellie again. “Joyce lived on our street, back in Austin. This was in ‘08, I guess? And we had a whole reunion moment, and then she just looked at me, and I knew. I knew what she was about to say.” You feel yourself start to choke up, and close your eyes, taking a deep breath.

“I know now that she was wrong, but then, it was crystal clear, like a movie playing in front of my eyes as she told me what happened. She said she’d seen you that night, Joel, you and Tommy and Sarah. You sped out of the neighborhood in the truck, and somehow she saw Tommy again, in the chaos after that plane crashed. After that she lost you again, but she asked after you later at one of the camps. She said they told her that according to their records, all three of you were dead.” You’re whispering, at this point, but you try to breathe through it.

“I guess the, um, the news about what happened with Sarah and then... after… that news got around from the field hospital, but not quite correctly. So some list of survivors got updated wrong. It’s not like those lists were worth much, not for much longer. It was before everyone stopped trying to keep track like that.” You open your eyes, and glance at Joel. He’s pale.

“But anyway. She was sure, and it had been five years. It killed whatever hope I had left.”

You’re quiet for a moment. You see Joel is barely breathing next to you, his hands clutching the edge of the table. Ellie’s eyes are wide and her face says she’s not sure if she should make any noise at all. You know Joel knows what you were alluding to after Sarah’s death and you don’t want to bring it up any more than that, not now. You’d heard it from Joyce and it’s been a weight ever since.

“Um, anyway. I guess I’ll… we can talk about that another time.” You glance between them and rub your hands on your thighs. Breathe. “So I was in Atlanta for a while. Probably about 8 years? I just worked, like everyone else. Made some sort-of friends.” You hesitate, thinking about Michelle. You decide you’ll come back to it later. You’re already choking on the words as they leave your mouth.

“But by ‘16, I had to leave. It was getting… weird, in the QZ. And for other reasons.” You take another sip of water. “By that time I was more capable of surviving on my own. Like everyone these days, I guess. So I headed west, thinking I’d go home, see what was there. Turns out I beat Tommy back to Austin by a year or two.”

You turn to Joel. “That’s why he barely found anything in the house. I, uh, got there first.” You see it dawn on him. “Yeah. I have some stuff over at my house, I wasn’t sure we’d talk about it. I can go get it later.”

“What- what stuff?” He looks like he wants to know and doesn’t want to know, at the same time. You know the feeling.

“You remember the photo calendars we had made in ‘02 and ‘03? Those, and a couple other pictures. Sarah’s favorite book. One of your shirts and the- um. The belt buckle.” You cleared your throat. “Some new clothes for me. And, um.” You meet his eyes. “That mix CD, from when we got together. Some other little stuff.” He looks overwhelmed. “Yeah, there’s a lot. I’ll bring it over, ok? You can go through it, keep stuff.” He nods, looking far away.

Ellie looks like she’s about ready to burst. “What CD? And what happened in Atlanta? What about after Austin? What next?”

You smile a little at her questions. “Ok, let’s see. Well, Sarah helped Joel burn me a mix CD – do you know what that means?” She shrugs, saying she knows what a CD is. “Ok, close enough. Basically Sarah and Joel created the list of songs and put it on the CD. It had some of our favorite songs to dance to on it. I haven’t seen a CD player in years but I took the CD anyway.

“Atlanta…” you swallow. “Let’s come back to that, ok? After Austin, I kept heading west. I found some people in west Texas who weren’t so bad to stay with, for a bit. I think I was there for about two years? And then I decided to head to Kansas City, but I heard some bad stuff before I ever got there. I ended up making it work with what was left of the Dallas QZ for a while. I did ok there, anyway. And then last year I decided to head out this way, and Tommy literally stumbled over me on a patrol and scared the shit out of me and turned my life upside down in the process.”

You stop, and the three of you are quiet. All you hear is the sound of your own breathing.. You aren’t sure what else to say without getting too deep into things you don’t feel ready to talk about, from Baltimore and Atlanta and Dallas. None of them were easy and all of them still hurt at least a little bit. You hope Ellie doesn’t ask but you’ll try if she does.

Joel looks like he’s still trying to take in everything you said, but he finally says, “I wonder if we ever passed each other. Tommy and I, well, our goal at the beginning, as much as we had one, was to get to Boston. To you. But somewhere around Dallas we heard that the initial Outbreak in Boston had been so bad, there were barely any survivors. And I-“ he clears his throat. “I, um, wasn’t in the best shape, back then. It convinced me you were gone, like Sarah, and well. I wasn’t… I couldn’t…” he just shakes his head. “We didn’t actually get there until years later. I guess we could try to match it all up, make a timeline.”

You shudder. Were you ever in the same place at the same time, unknowing? You almost don’t want to know.

“I don't think I’m ready for that.” He shakes his head, agreeing with you. “I think that’s all I can do tonight.” You look back at Ellie. She’s studying you.

“We can talk more later,” she agrees, “but I have one question.” You nod, fixing your face into something neutral. A slightly mischievous look comes across her face. “Can we listen to the CD? We have a player in the living room.”

You start and bang your hand on the table. “You do? Fuck, I never thought I’d find one.” Joel sighs, and rolls his eyes as you shake out your hand. “I’m allowed to curse, old man, I’m just as old as you.”

“Not quite, darlin’.” He smiles at you. You start to come down from the emotional rollercoaster of the last half hour and smile back.

“Let me go grab the CD.”

You run back to your house, and after a moment’s thought, grab the entire shoebox. He can look through it later.

When you return to their house, Ellie and Joel have moved to the living room, and she’s elbowing him and saying something you don’t catch that makes him put his face in his hands. She grins and spots you in the door. You hand her the CD.

Ellie inspects it carefully, seeing the handwritten tracklist in the little paper insert that has yellowed a bit with age. “Joel, did you really make this?” He nods.

“Sarah did the technical work but we made it together.”

“You weren’t lying, he really was a cheesy romantic. How many of these are in Spanish?” He sighs in a long-suffering way, falling back onto the couch. It makes you smile.

“Like I told you, it’s who he is.” You look at him, and despite the grumpy act he’s putting on for Ellie, he winks at you. It sets off fireworks inside of you and you smile, helplessly.

Ellie gets the CD in the player, and the whirring noise it makes as it spins the disc sends a wave of nostalgia over you, unexpectedly strong. You resist closing your eyes, knowing what you’ll hear first. You want to see Ellie’s reaction.

You try to control your face, watching as “La Bomba” starts. She looks confused, and then incredulous.

“What the fuck is this?”

You start to laugh, and you see Joel chuckling, too. You know “Suavemente” is up next so you look at him and hold out your hand. “Want to show her?” He gives you a look, and for a moment you aren’t sure what he’ll do. But he stands, of course, and takes your hand.

“Sure, darlin’.” And then he starts to move.

You weren’t lying when you said you hadn’t danced in 20 years. But somehow, in Joel Miller’s arms, your body remembers what to do, and you start to move across the room together like no time has passed.

Joel had taught you how to dance in his backyard, with Tommy and Sarah laughing nearby. He had shown you a bit of merengue and how to two-step that first day, and much more later, but most of the time you had just let him lead in both partner dances and line dances. Some of the songs on the CD were ones you used to dance to in his living room or in night clubs, and some were just for you. You wouldn’t say you’re doing any particular style now, as the second track starts, just that you’re dancing and following his lead.

Ellie whistles and cheers you on from the side, but you can’t look away from Joel. His eyes are locked on you and it feels impossible to look anywhere else. You float through the dance, feeling like your feet are barely touching the floor.

When the song ends and “Lambada” starts, you force yourself to step back, a bit overwhelmed with how much the dance affected you.

“Ellie, do you want to learn?” She looks surprised, and then uncertain.

“Um, maybe? I’m not sure I want to dance with anyone.”

You tilt your head as you look at her, a hunch forming in the back of your mind, and smile. “Maybe give it a try?” She nods and Joel beckons her over. As they get in position you search through the tracklist to a song you think might work for a lesson. You skip ahead to the Shakira song later on the list because you think the slower beat will help.

You sit on the couch to watch Joel start to direct Ellie around the room, but it pretty quickly becomes clear that it’s not working. She’s fighting him with every step and they keep bumping into each other. It seems you were right – maybe Ellie, headstrong as she is, would do better leading. You stand up.

“I think we’re teaching her the wrong part,” you say as you cut in between her and Joel. He smirks, gesturing for you to take his place as he moves towards the couch. “Ellie, why don’t you try leading for a bit.” You direct her and it’s immediately pretty obvious that she’s more comfortable controlling the dance. She learns a couple of easy steps and starts to lead you carefully around the room, picking up on what Joel had been trying to do as well.

After a couple of minutes you look over your shoulder at him, grinning, but you see that he’s gotten distracted by the open shoebox on the coffee table. He’s got his belt buckle in one hand, thumb tracing the design absently, like he still remembers the exact shape of the letters after all these years. With the other he reaches in to pull out the 2002 calendar. It’s the one with you and Sarah on the front, smiling for the camera and posing in front of the lake you used to visit in the summer.

You don’t even realize you’ve stopped dancing until Ellie bumps into you. “What’s wrong?” she asks, looking around you at Joel. “Oh.”

Joel seems to realize you’re both looking at him, and he looks up at you, that familiar unreadable look on his face. “Sorry, I just looked in and couldn’t help it. I–”

“It’s alright. Maybe that’s enough of a lesson for today, anyway.” You smile a little. “You can hold on to the box, we can figure it out later. Or talk about it. Whatever you want. I kept, um, one of Sarah’s hair ties, with the yellow beads. There’s another one in there.” There’s one more thing back at your house that you decide to keep to yourself for now. Neither of you are ready for that. “And, um. I gave Tommy your mom’s bracelet. For Maria.”

Joel snorts. “The one you always hated and thought was ugly as sin?” You laugh.

“Yep, that’s the one.”

The atmosphere in the room has gotten heavier, the moment clearly over, and the two of you have become awkward, losing all the ease you found when dancing. Ellie steps into the middle of it, and says, “well, I still have questions, but I can already hear Joel telling me I’m being rude like the cranky old man he is, so next time, I guess.”

You feel a bit lighter at her words. Next time? You’ll take it. “I’d like that. Thanks, Ellie.”

You start to head towards the door, and Joel carefully sets everything back in the box to join you. “You can look through it, Ellie, just be careful.” She nods, sitting gingerly next to the box on the coffee table, looking over its contents with wide eyes. The two of you step out onto the porch to say goodnight.

You’re quiet for a moment, looking at each other. Joel regards you thoughtfully, and says, “that went about as well as it could, I think.” You agree.

“The dinner was great, Joel.”

“Well, that too. But you and Ellie, is what I meant. I think she’s still wary of everybody but me, but seems to me like she wants to get to know you.”

“I really hope so. She’s a force of nature, isn’t she?” He nods, smiling, and you can see in it how much he cares about her, his adopted younger daughter.

“Sorry she brought all that up so quick.”

“It’s fine, Joel. I wanted you to know, anyway. Both of you.”

He nods, but looks a bit hesitant. “I know we said slow and agreed, darlin’, but I hope you don’t mind if it ends up being real slow after all.” You reach out to reassure him, lightly touching his right arm.

“I need time, too, Joel. There’s things you don’t know about me yet, and things you probably want to tell me, too.” He doesn’t look reassured. You think for a moment, and add, “We know the foundation is there, right? But what we built is long gone, so we just have to see if we can build it again.” He’s looking at you like he can’t tell if you’re sincere or making a construction pun to tease him. It’s both, but he doesn’t need to know that. For now.

“Alright, darlin’. That’s maybe enough feelings for one day.” He laughs as you roll your eyes at him. “But I have to tell you something, though, before you go.” He moves his arm and you start to move your hand away from where you were still touching him, but he catches it and laces your fingers together.

“You’re so kind and smart and beautiful,” he starts, and your breath catches in your throat. He smiles at you. “It took my breath away back then and it still does now. I’ll be mad until the day I die that I missed out on 20 years of you, but I still can’t believe you’re here, in front of me.” He tilts his head and squeezes your hand. “You’re especially beautiful tonight. I felt as lucky to have you in my arms during that dance as I did back in ‘01.”

Your face has gone hot and you raise your free hand to your cheek, knowing he can tell.

“Joel–”

“No, I want you to hear it. You were the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen outside of your house with the moving truck that day we met and it’s still true now. And watching you talk to Ellie and get to know her?” He shakes his head a little, but he’s smiling. “I never thought I’d feel this way again, never thought I’d get to watch two people I care about get to know each other like that. I just wanted you to know how much it means to me. That’s all.”

That’s all, he says. Like it isn’t everything. You’re biting your lip, holding back tears by the time he’s done. You reach out to cup his cheek with your right hand. “Joel Miller, you smooth-talking son of a bitch.” He laughs outright at that, sounding a little choked up himself.

“I’ve never been able to defend against those moves. Not that I’d want to.” You smile as he leans his head into your hand. “I’m feeling it too, ok? We should go slow, yes, but… well, like I said, we’ve got the foundation. We’re just easing into it.” He grins, and you see a glimpse of him at 32 that you weren’t expecting to ever see again.

“Probably better, at our age.”

“Better for you maybe, old man. I’m still younger than you.”

“Darlin’, you turn 50 soon, and we both know it.” You shove him a little, grinning. He smiles back, that half smile that used to get under your skin and take your breath away. It still does.

“Well, Joel Miller, with that I think I’ll turn in.” You start to turn away, but he reels you back in for a short hug. He holds you tightly for just a moment, whispering, “Thanks for the shoebox. I can’t… well. I’m going to take my time with it.” He pulls away.

“Take all the time you need.”

...

Austin, Spring 2001

On Sunday, you changed your outfit five times before telling yourself to get a grip and putting back on the first thing you had pulled out of your closet, 45 minutes ago. Joel had seen literally all of these clothes before; he’d lived next door to you for six months. Get it together. You looked at yourself in the mirror, messed with your hair one last time, and then forced yourself to leave the bathroom and head downstairs.

In the kitchen, you glanced at the clock – 5:54pm – and picked up the cookies you baked that morning, heading next door to the Millers’.

You knocked on their door, and after a few moments with no response you knocked again. Odd. You put your ear to the door and heard music and Sarah laughing. You tried the door and realized it was unlocked.

As you crossed the threshold you called out, “Millers? Anyone home?” Inside you could more clearly hear the music coming from the backyard, so you left the cookies in the kitchen (where something smelled amazing) and headed towards the back door.

You found it open, and you could hear Sarah laugh again as you moved closer. “Dad come on, you stepped on my toes!”

“Sarah Miller, I raised you not to tell lies.” Joel sounded out of breath, but he was laughing as he said it.

“Well, that’s definitely a lie if I ever heard one.” You leaned in the doorway, smiling as you watched Joel lead Sarah around the yard to “Rie y Llora.” Tommy jumped out of the way as Joel steered Sarah right into him in retaliation for that remark. They hadn’t noticed you yet.

“Celia Cruz, huh?”

All three Millers turned at your question, all three smiling at you. It was a little overwhelming, as always, to have the attention of all three at once. Sarah elbowed her dad lightly and laughed, saying, “she’s Abuela's favorite.” Joel rolled his eyes.

“It’s good music for learning,” he muttered, clearly not for the first time.

“It looks to me like Sarah already knows what she’s doing.” You smiled at the look he shot your way.

“Ha! See, dad?”

“Sure, baby girl. Why don’t you go take Uncle Tommy for a spin, since you know what you’re doing.” With that, Joel spun Sarah towards Tommy, who caught her easily and started leading her around the yard. You laughed, and then looked back towards Joel. He was watching you with that half smile that always gave you goosebumps.

“Do you know how to dance, darlin’?”

“In a club? Sure. Like that? No way.”

He grinned at your answer. “Want to learn?” He held his hand out, guiding you towards him once you placed your hand in his.

“I’ve never danced like this before. I’ll probably stomp all over your feet.” Joel placed your right hand on his shoulder, and took your left hand in his right.

“You let me worry about where our feet go, darlin’. I’ll show you the basics and then you just follow me.” And over the next 15 minutes, that’s exactly what he did.

Soon you found yourself slowly moving around the yard to “Lambada,” definitely slower than the music called for. At some point Tommy and Sarah went inside to work on finishing dinner but you barely noticed. You were focusing on keeping up with Joel.

Just as you started to feel a little bit confident, a slow song that you didn’t know started to play. Joel slowed the two of you as well, starting to mostly sway in place instead of moving around so much. He pulled you a little closer with his left hand around your waist.

Catching your breath, and taking your focus off of your feet, you asked, “what brought this on? I don’t think I’ve ever come over to find y’all mid-dance-lesson before.”

“Sarah’s got that school dance coming up and she’s a bit nervous.” He laughed, shaking his head. “I tried to tell her I only know how to do this and a few of those line dances they do in the clubs Tommy goes to. Not whatever dancing they’ll be doing – probably closer to your club dancing.” He winked at you, and you held on a little tighter to his shoulder. “But then she reminded me that her cousin’s party is coming up, anyway, and they will definitely be dancing just like this. So, we were practicing.”

“Cousin?” You asked, confused. Tommy didn’t have kids, and you were pretty sure there were no other Miller siblings.

“Ah, technically it’s my cousin’s kid, on my mom’s side. Easier to just say cousin. They all live down in San Antonio.” He shrugged. You nodded.

“Well, you did a good job teaching me. Bet that’ll be a fun party.”

You realized at that point that you had slowly swayed in the direction of the trees closer to the back of the yard. You were under the shade of one of the trees, partially out of view from the house. You'd moved closer together as the dance slowed and you found yourself with your right hand on Joel’s neck, fingertips almost touching his hairline. Your eyes darted from his arms, holding you securely, to his shoulders, flexing under his shirt, up to his face.

You looked up to find Joel looking right back at you. “See something you like, darlin’?” He smirked. You felt a rush of warmth towards your face, but you weren’t really embarrassed. You felt like your whole body was tingling, like you were heading towards something you’d been hoping for for months. Like you were racing forward and up ahead there was a cliff you might fall off of, but you’d fall together. Like the fall was the point, the destination. Your breath caught in your throat.

“Maybe I do, neighbor,” you managed. He grinned in response, tugging you just a bit closer. Any closer and you’d feel him pressed against you everywhere.

“I know I do.”

“What?” You’d lost track of the conversation. His proximity was going to your head.

“See something I like.” As he responded, he let go of your hand and brought his right hand up to cup your face. You saw him glance from your eyes to your mouth and in response, you pressed closer, winding your hands into his hair. Joel leaned in, and you barely felt the touch of his lips to yours, when the back door opened and Tommy shouted, “dinner’s ready, love birds! Get in here!”

Joel groaned as he stepped away from you, resting his hands on your shoulders. “I guess we should head inside.” As he said it, he lifted one hand to trace his fingertips along your cheekbone before running his hand lightly over your shoulder and down your arm. “Stick around after dinner? I’d like another dance.” You smiled as he reached down to take your hand and lead you toward the house, walking backwards and keeping his eyes trained on yours.

“Smooth moves, Miller. Save some for later.”

He was still smiling, but suddenly you felt the intent in his gaze, more focused than even a moment ago. “Oh darlin’, don’t worry. For you I got plenty more.”

…

Dinner with the Millers was always fun, and this occasion was no different. Tommy and Sarah teased Joel mercilessly, and he got them right back, though he was always a little softer with Sarah.

You talked and joked over dinner, noting Joel had made one of your favorites – pepper chicken – and he winked at you when you thanked him for it. Sarah updated you about her week after she got over her cold and her excitement about the upcoming dance. After dinner she rushed upstairs to talk to a friend on the phone as Tommy headed out the door (“to do some real dancing, y'all should come out sometime”). You were left with Joel in the kitchen, clearing the table together and starting in on the dishes.

“You don’t have to help with that, darlin’, I can get ‘em later.”

You bumped your hip against his as he slid in next to you at the sink. “It’s no bother, Joel. Let me help.” He smiled at you, softly, and nodded, picking up the towel to dry the dishes.

You worked quietly, sometimes recalling a joke from dinner, but you mostly just enjoyed the moment together. As soon as you handed him the last dish he set it aside, still wet, to take your hand and lead you back outside. He switched the music back on with the volume low as you passed the boombox.

In one smooth motion, Joel turned and pulled you back into his arms, into the stance you had only just left before dinner. But this time he pulled you close from the start, tucking you up against him and smoothing his hand across your lower back.

“Well hello there, darlin’. Fancy meeting you here.”

You smiled, and rolled your eyes a little. “Hey, cowboy.” You let your fingertips play with his hair along his neck. You noticed a light shiver in his shoulders as you did.

You smirked. “Joel, are you ticklish?”

“No, and you better not let on to Sarah that you wondered anything of the sort.” He glared at you playfully as he said it, spinning you a little into a new spot in the yard. You laughed, a bit winded even though you'd barely moved.

“Hmm, seems like information that would be worth quite a bit to some people around here,” you mused. You brushed your fingers lightly across his hairline again, and he squirmed again in response.

He hid a smile, pulling you in so he could whisper directly into your left ear. “But darlin’, if you keep my secret, I’ll make it worth your while.” It was your turn to shiver.

“Oh? How so?” You’d never heard your own voice so breathless.

He chuckled, and raised his left hand from your hip to your jaw, tilting your head to your right as he tucked his face into the left side of your neck. He ran his lips lightly from your shoulder to your jaw, sending shivers down your spine as you inhaled sharply. He kissed you, lightly, right at the hinge of your jaw, and then on your cheek, and then his mouth met yours, softly, barely there and then with gentle pressure.

He pulled away after only a moment, and you met his eyes in a daze. His gaze was dark, and you felt like you were moving through molasses. Everything was slow, and soft, and heady. You were floating through it and Joel’s hands on you – on your cheek, holding your left hand – were the only things keeping you tethered.

Joel murmured your name. “Let me take you out.”

“When?” Your reply fell from your lips so quickly it made him smile, and you smiled back, unashamed.

“Friday? Sarah’s got a sleepover.” He smoothed his thumb over your cheekbone. “We can go dancing, show off these moves.”

You laughed. “Joel, I’ve barely got one, maybe two moves. You sure we don’t need another dance lesson before we take this show on the road?”

He huffed a laugh too, and turned you a little. “Just follow along with me, darlin’, I won’t let you stumble.”

You bit your lip, and nodded. “Friday.”

“Friday,” he agreed, pulling you in again. As his lips met yours again, you wondered how you were going to wait five days for more of this. Joel pulled himself away with a small groan, resting his forehead against yours. “We should stop before we get too carried away, with Sarah home.” You nodded.

You danced a bit more, finishing out the last couple of tracks on the CD. Joel kept his forehead against yours at first, and then tucked your face into his chest, resting his cheek on top of your head and slowly swaying as the last song trailed off into silence.

You didn’t want to let go quite yet, and it seemed Joel didn’t either, as neither of you moved. You could feel your happiness at finally taking the leap together glowing in your chest – from dancing around each other to an actual dance, the months of talking and flirting had finally gotten you somewhere. But you couldn’t help but wonder.

“Joel? Why now?” You asked it softly, face still tucked into his chest. He hummed lowly in response before pulling back to meet your eyes. He regarded you silently for a moment before seeming to come to a decision.

“I think we both felt it, right? That first day. You were – you are – the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, and I knew I wanted you,” he smirked as he noticed you bite your lip at that admission. He squeezed your hip. “But I realized pretty quick that with you, I wanted something real. I haven’t dated anyone in a long, long time. I wanted to take it slow, and get to know you first.” You nodded. You wanted that, too.

“But darlin’, I realized the other day, when you were here with Sarah, that maybe there’s a line between taking it slow and just being afraid, and I was flirting with it. And I’d rather be flirting with you.” He grinned as you rolled your eyes a little bit at his joke. “I’ve been afraid for a long time. Afraid of letting someone in when it’s not just me I have to worry about.” He looked towards the house. “But Sarah loves you.”

“And I love her, Joel. That girl is special.” He smiled and nodded before looking back at you.

“I know you do. And she’s been teasing me about asking you out for months.”

“Oh yeah? Well you should know better than to ignore her advice, Joel.”

He sighed, long-suffering, and nodded. “I know it.”

Joel pulled away and started to head back to the house, right hand reaching for your left. You felt a little shaky, like you really had been floating for the last half hour.

As you approached the front door, he squeezed your hand. “I’ll see you Friday, darlin’.”

“You sure will, cowboy.” He smiled and pulled you in for another short kiss.

“Now get, before we get any bad ideas.”

You laughed, and headed out the door he opened for you.

“Night, darlin’.”

“See you Friday, Joel.”

...

a/n: see you 8/20 for chapter 4 (aka, when the smut arrives lol)

update: ch 4 now posted!

Tag list

@morgaussy @jay-zzle @bluetattoos @dins-riduur-anthe

#joel miller x reader #joel miller fic #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x you #tlou fic #tlou fanfiction #joel miller fanfiction #my fic #over again fic #x reader

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nathanbatemanfucker · 7 months

Text

Give Me More

summary: part of life is heartbreak and suffering; at least Javi is worthy of it.

pairing: sex worker!f!reader x javier peña

contents: 18+/NSFW/MINORS DNI, mentions of sex work, pwp, oral (f!receiving), feelings, internal angst, perceived unrequited love

wc: 1,995

an: i woke up one morning with this idea on my mind, my fingers were itching to write, especially since it’s been so long since ive written for javier. might come back to give these two a happy ending, might not. thank you to @jennaispunk for the beta! hope y’all enjoy <3

pedro pascal characters masterlist

Javier is your favorite. It’s hard for him not to be. With him nothing is a performance, every moment— every kiss and touch feels real even if it isn’t. You know that it’s going nowhere, that one of these days he will catch each and every drug lord, trickling down all the way to those hardly involved and then he will leave. But it’s hard not to get caught up in him. It’s hot and electric, there’s passion. There’s real pleasure.

He comes to you. Every single time he comes to you. Maybe that makes it worse, these fantasies in your head where you get to keep him. It’s easier to picture him sipping coffee in your kitchen or lounging on your couch reading a paper. Some things he has done, like sleeping in your bed or taking a shower. Sometimes when you curl up in bed at the end of the night, you let yourself drift into those memories, building on them as you go. It’s unhealthy and unfair to yourself.

But, you’re not sure what alternative you have. Falling in love with Javier Peña was not what you’d expected. You’d never fallen in love with a client before, but that’s Javi for you. Beating the odds and changing the game, one kiss and fleeting glance at a time. How are you meant to resist those chocolate brown eyes, big and expressive? How are you to deny how deep and exploring his kiss feels?

You tried. You really had. As soon as you realized what was happening you pulled away. Stopped answering his calls and started frequenting other places, places you were most likely not to see him. But, Javi’s persistent and DEA— he could find you if he wanted to and he had. Slowly but surely you fell right back into his clutches. Eventually you stopped fighting it. You had to be honest with yourself, the part of you that wanted to is small at best. This will be the only thing you ever have with him and you might as well hold on to it while you can. Part of life is heartbreak and suffering; at least Javi is worthy of it.

He called yesterday, asking if he could come over tonight. Of course you had said yes. Today is one of the only days during the week that you have completely to yourself, but you don’t mind. Being with Javier never feels like work…it isn’t in your mind, not that you’ve ever mentioned that to him.

His knock on the door is crisp and succinct as always, no mistaking him for anyone else. And when you open the door for him, he slips in easily, shutting the door so that he can pin you against it with his soft but insistent kisses. He tastes like bourbon and tobacco, his warm spicy scent invading all of your senses. You kiss him back easily— eagerly, hands rising to card through his soft hair.

God he smells so good. He feels so good. You could live and die here happily.

He’s always needy when he comes to you, but something feels different. Off.

You pull away slightly, running a hand over his cheek so that he opens his eyes to look at you. “Estas bien?”

“Muy bien, querida. So good, now that I’m here,” He murmurs into your mouth.

“Tienes hambre?” You ask, nipping gently at his bottom lip.

“Mhmm,” He hugs, starting a path of kisses down your neck, biting and sucking at your flesh as if to prove his point.

“For food, Javi,” You scold playfully even as you let your head lull to the side, giving him free reign.

“Food can come later. Let me take care of you, baby,” He croons.

That’s all it takes for you to abandon your line of questioning and give into him. You nod, shivering against him when he continues to bite at your skin, humming softly at your taste.

Javier moves with ease through your apartment, like its his. The two of you take a pitstop in the kitchen where he pours a glass of water. He must plan to keep you in bed all night. You have no complaints, not when the focus for once will be on you. Then he’s guiding you to your bedroom, shutting the door softly. He shrugs out of his jacket and boots before returning to you where you stand at the edge of the bed.

“Eres preciosa,” He mutters under his breath, allowing his hands to run all over you.

Sure you picked out your favorite silk sleeping dress, the one that’s reserved for him or high paying clients— though lately, it’s been just for him. He’s seen you in this time and time again. And yet the way he’s looking at you…the way he’s speaking of you has your face hot.

“Stop it, Javi,” You murmur shyly. He’s the only one who can get you like this, easily worked up and bashful. You like it that way.

“I mean it, querida, you’re so beautiful,” He lets his hands move up, trailing over your breasts until one of his hands teases your nipple through the delicate fabric causing your breath to catch. He grins, satisfied with the sound. “So beautiful.”

“Javier, please,” You whine, your hands clutching at the fabric of his shirt.

The way you look at him, with wide, desperate eyes. He doesn’t stand a chance. “Alright, let’s get you out of this baby. See how wet you are for me,” He teases as he works you out of the slip dress.

Javier gently pushes you back until you can sit on the edge of the bed, and once you’re settled he drops to his knees, spreading you open so that you’re on full display for him. He lets out a loud, depraved groan, the sound shooting straight to your pussy. You’re so wet for him already, your sex glistening in the soft moonlight that spills through the curtains. He can’t wait to ravish you, to worship you. He’s lucky enough to get you like this and he will show his gratitude one stroke of his tongue at a time. On nights like tonight, Javier likes to pretend just as much as you do. You’re completely his and he’ll speak of you no other way.

“All this for me. All mine, look at you baby. So fucking wet just from my kisses?”

Your head is already spinning, every inch of your skin feels as if it’s on fire and he hasn’t even really touched you yet. You nod softly, spreading your legs a little wider for him, beckoning him in. Who is he to deny you?

Slowly, he kisses his way up your thighs, sucking and biting the way he had on your neck but with more pressure this time. Here he can mark you— it’s likely to go unnoticed. He sucks until a mark blooms on your thigh, the bruise contrasting with your skin. The sight of it has him wanting to rut against the end of the bed. To drop his pants and bury his cock in you until you both find your pleasure. But, this is just for you. He’s here to take care of you, it’s what he likes doing.

His eyes are hooded as they look up at you, watching for your reaction when he blows cool air over your clit. He loves the way you twitch, how your hips buck up ready to feel him. He can tell by the way you bite your lower lip that you’re about to open your mouth and beg— he gives you no time too. Javier leans forward, letting his tongue slide through your folds with no urgency.

It’s the start of bliss for the both of you. His tongue feels like heaven, even with the tentative, patient licks he’s giving you. He’s so warm, sending hot shocks of pleasure throughout your entire body.

Your heady taste in his mouth, Javi can hardly contain his hunger, smiling against you when he remembers that he doesn’t have to. He sinks further into you, nuzzling his nose against your clit, letting his tongue dip into your center.

“Oh, fuck— Javier,” You moan, arching into him, your legs falling open even wider until they can spread no more. You want him to see and devour every inch of you. Your hand raises to card through his hair, and when your gaze meets his, it’s just as heated, just as lustful.

“I know, querida. I know, feels so good doesn’t it, baby?” He murmurs knowingly against you, his tongue flicking your clit between each word.

“Mhmm,” You hum, letting your head fall back as you give in.

Javier takes his time. He winds you up tight with attentive licks to your clit before giving you a break, letting his tongue grow messy and lax with no direction. He’s teasing you, you both know that, but this you don’t mind. It’s not to be unkind, not to deprive you of anything but to draw out the limited time you two get to spend together like this.

Javi wants to be here with you as badly as you want to be here with him. The difference between you is that he doesn’t let himself dream.

This is what it is. This is what it will be. He’s accepted that.

“Javi,” You breathe, after the pleasure swells up inside you for a third time, only to be deflated.

Javi looks up at you, raising a hand to cup your jaw and bring your gaze to his. His stare is so intense, eyes so dark that they’re nearly black with desire. “You ready for it? You want me to make you cum? Just tell me.”

“Yeah, I’m ready. Please, Javi.”

“I’ll make you cum, baby, don’t worry. Relax, lay back. Let me take care of you,” He repeats his words from earlier.

As soon as you oblige, laying your back flat against the bed, Javier’s on the hunt for your orgasm, like predator chases prey. While his mouth focuses on your clit, suckling and flicking, he presses two of his fingers deep into your pussy, taking no time to find that sensitive spot. Despite the intentionality of his movements, he is gentle while coaxing your pleasure out of you. It’s erotic and sweet, it makes your heart ache. You fall over the edge in no time at all and Javier drinks endlessly, lapping up all of your slick with happy little moans.

You relax further into the mattress, your chest rising and falling harshly as you ride out your release. He’s moved away from your overstimulated center, kissing at your thighs and tummy while you return to earth.

“More, querida? Quieres más?”

“Yes,” You whisper— to him, to the darkness of the night like it’s some sort of confession. Javi doesn’t understand the double meaning, and you wouldn’t want him to, not when you know how it’ll end.

Yes, you want more. You want all of him, every day for the rest of your days. You want his declarations about being his to be true. You want him to be yours. Instead of voicing any of your internal turmoil, you sit up, cupping his face in your hands as you bend to kiss him for a taste of yourself on his tongue. He hums into your mouth, smiling against your lips as he rises carefully to his feet.

You make quick work of the buttons on his shirt as his hands take care of his belt and the zipper of his jeans, his boxers. Once bared to you, Javier slots himself between your thighs, thrusting so his cock glides teasingly through your folds.

You feel the head of his cock nudging at where you need him most. Pulling back to look him intensely in the eyes, you whisper, “Dame más.”

Yes, you want more, but you’ll take whatever he can give you.

javi taglist: @lesbianhotch, @bubblybubbubs, @sheresh0y, @jxvipike, @campingwiththecharmings

#javier pena x reader #javier peña x f!reader #javier peña fanfiction #javier peña smut #javier peña #narcos fanfiction #not sfw #arson writes

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captain-mj · 2 years

Note

Can we get ex-barracksbunny Simon from your TikTok to finally give Johnny that one chance to treat him so good?

It would be criminal to not answer this lmao. In my brain, this is og soapghost but y’all can view it how you want

Ghost sighed softly as Soap started up again.

“Come on, LT. Bet I can treat you better than anyone else.” Soap sounded so confident. Ghost was well aware the only reason he kept pushing is because Ghost hadn’t actually said no. If he did, Soap would stop.

“Don’t think you can MacTavish.”

“You two aren’t on a private line.” Gaz cut in. “Just thought I’d say that.”

“Fuck off, Gaz. Simon, you could at least check for yerself?”

Ghost could hear Price taking a deep breath to scold Soap on how what he was doing was borderline sexual harassment.

“Alright. You act good on this mission, I’ll give you a chance.”

Price started coughing, choking on his words.

Soap very slowly, accent thick as honey, “What sir?”

“Don’t get coy now. We’ll talk later. But only if this mission is handled well with no injuries.”

Soap was a goddamn angel. Every order executed with precision.

Price looked so mad about it.

After their debrief, Ghost went to his room, planning on a shower. He noticed his shadow quickly.

“Johnny. You’re taking me to dinner first. Tomorrow. Unfortunately for you, I’ve gotten slightly higher standards.”

“I get to have dinner with you?” Soap followed him, looking at him like he hung the stars. Ghost rolled his eyes.

“Johnny, I’m already going to sleep with you. Now fuck off.” He hit the back of his head. “I’m going to get cleaned up.”

“Will you be taking the mask off?”

“You’ll find out.” Ghost closed the door.

In all honesty, Johnny’s simp behavior had zero to do with Ghost saying yes. It had been four years since he got laid. After getting captured and... everything that came with it, he just hadn’t wanted to.

His therapist had suggested two days ago that he was touch starved. Normally, he’d brush it off as dumb as hell, but he matched all the symptoms. He was pretty sure she hadn’t meant have sex with the nearest person, but casual touch didn’t seem like enough.

In his past, he slept around a bunch. It had felt nice. Gave him connection. Was a lot easier than trying to fumble through conversation.

Who knows. Maybe Soap would be good. At the very least, they’d be pressed against each other for a few minutes. Hopefully Soap had some stamina.

He texted him. “Dress up nice and pick the place.”

“You got it, LT. Just keep looking pretty.”

Bitch.

Ghost did dress up nice though. As nice as he could. Plain black shirt, nicer black trousers, his ski mask.

Soap had flowers when he opened the door. Carnations.

Ghost stared at them for a second before taking them and setting them on his desk. “Thank you.”

Soap smiled at him and walked with him, immediately talking like it was any other day. Ghost was actually pretty thankful for it, even though he didn’t admit. They were pretending they were just hanging out. Like normal.

Soap had picked a pretty nice place, catching Ghost off guard. “One check, please.” He told them ahead of time. Ghost tilted his head but let it go.

“So why did you want to have dinner first? Not that I’m complaining.” Soap said the second part quickly, hands going up.

“I didn’t want it to feel like a cheap one night stand afterwards.” Ghost glanced at him. “I have to work with you. I’d like to be able to pretend I respect you in the morning.” He was teasing, moving closer. “Do you mind that much?”

“No. I like that I’m getting to spend time with you.” Soap smiled at him.

Bastard.

Simon felt stupid butterflies in his stomach. He squashed them.

When the food came, he lifted his mask up only slightly. Soap openly stared at him. His eyes traced every feature he could see.

Ghost started eating a bit quicker. He didn’t normally like being observed but something about the way Soap stared at him made him feel particularly weak.

Soap smiled softly at him and they kept talking.

It wasn’t until much later that Soap made a comment about the thing.

“So... You really let them call you Pretty Boy Riley?”

Ghost blushed and unfortunately Soap could see it this time. “Yes. I did for a while... When I first joined the military, it was my first time away from my family. It was... I had never really got a chance to be out and then suddenly I was not only out but surrounded by a bunch of men who were interested. It’s why I slept around so much.”

Soap smiled at him, seeming genuinely interested. “Makes sense. I came out in secondary school. It was a bit different then.”

Ghost hummed. “Hard to imagine you as a teen.”

“I was a football player too. If you can imagine.” Soap laughed, taking another drink. They’d both went nonalcoholic for today. Probably a smart choice. “I bet you were a theater kid.”

“Nope. In a band.” Ghost laughed. “I was the bassist.”

“No fucking way. Still play?”

“Haven’t tried it in years, but I could always try to pick up again.” It had been fun. “We were awful before you ask. My brother was the singer. He had my dad’s voice.”

“Wasn’t your dad in a band?”

“As a drummer.”

Soap laughed immediately and paid. He drove them since he “didn’t trust Ghost behind the wheel” for some reason. Ghost didn’t really like driving so he rolled with it, enjoying getting to sit passenger.

Soap’s hand fell on his thighs and he stared, a little taken back. Ghost was ushered into Soap’s room.

He expected there to be an awkward pause. For Soap to realize what he was doing, but then he was lifting Ghost’s masks up to just above his nose and kissing him hard. His hands were on Ghost’s hips, backing him up.

“Simon. Can I take the mask off?”

His mouth was too dry to form words so he just nodded. Soap pulled it off of him.

“I see why they called you pretty.”

“I’m sure the scars are pretty ghastly. Try not to look at them myself.”

“Still a bonnie even with them, Si. Always will be.” Soap pressed his hands against his chest and Ghost fell willingly, hitting the bed. Luckily it was one of the nicer ones.

Soap’s mouth was on his neck before he could really think, pinning him down.

“Told you, Lt. Best you’ve ever had.”

“Cocky.” Ghost spat out but it ended up more of a whine thanks to Soap tugging his hair. They undressed each other in record timing and Soap just wouldn’t stop kissing him, holding his face with his hands running all over him.

Soap pulled away. “Are you okay if I...” His hands slid between Ghost’s thighs, being... gentle.

Ghost stared at him, finding it a little hard to breath. “Yes. Keep going.”

Soap nodded and reached under his pillows to grab a bottle of lube. It was half empty and Ghost shoved down any feelings that gave him. He watched him coat his fingers before gently pushing his first finger into him.

“Fuck, you’re tight.”

“Been a while.” Ghost hummed, feeling his face flush. “Should’ve prepped beforehand...”

“Nah, I like this part.” Soap grinned at him and started to kiss along his jaw. “I’ll return the favor later, yeah?”

“Who says we’re doing this again?”

“I’m sure you can handle a couple of rounds tonight, right?” Soap kissed him and Ghost relaxed, letting him fit another. The stretch was... fuck it was great. Their chests were pressed together and all he could think about was how warm Soap was.

Ghost groaned at the third one and he felt Soap’s tongue lick its way into his mouth. He grabbed the headboard, panting.

“Okay, enough. Come on, show me a good time, Sergeant.”

“That an order?” Soap teased as he pulled away. He was still being gentle as he moved him around, lining up. He reached up and grabbed Ghost’s hand. “Just squeeze if you need a break, okay?”

Ghost nodded, though he thought it was a bit silly, and held his hand tighter. Soap leaned over him so their lips were almost touching as he pushed in.

Ghost groaned before whimpering. Soap paused, looking stunned he managed to get that sound out of him.

“I swear to God Johnny, keep moving.”

Soap immediately started to push in again as he marked up Ghost’s neck and his shoulders. “How did you hide the hickeys?”

“Never let them make them. You’re special.” Ghost grabbed Soap’s hair and tugged him back down when he went to pull away. “Keep making them.”

Soap bit him hard and thrust into him, Ghost scrambling at his shoulders with his free hand. He adjusted them slightly and slammed into again, making Ghost whine. Ghost was just about to say some sharp retort when Soap found it, hitting his sweet spot hard.

Ghost saw stars, moaning softly. He squeezed Soap’s hand hard to ground himself and almost beat the man when he paused.

“Please.”

Soap didn’t need anymore than that. He started to thrust in hard, hitting the spot over and over again. Ghost’s legs went around his hips as he moved, kissing Ghost every chance he got.

“Johnny.”

“I got you Simon. What do you need?”

“Just keep doing this.” Simon bit Johnny’s lower lip and made eye contact with him. His hips continued to snap right into Ghost’s who was loving the treatment. Soap’s chest was also very nice to stare at and he got to run his hand over it, feeling the hard muscles under soft skin.

Before long, Ghost couldn’t seem to shut up. Moaning and whimpering as Soap hit that spot over and over again. He kept his eyes closed and felt his legs start to shake. A pressure was building his core and he knew he was going to have to take Soap up on the multiple rounds because he didn’t want this to end yet.

Soap noticed. No clue how, but the fucker knew and he sped up. His hand bruised Ghost’s hips and he purred when Ghost scratched down his back. It was all so much. Too much. The skin to skin contact made him feel half insane already.

Ghost pulled him down for a kiss and came, squeezing Soap’s hands so hard he thought he’d hurt him. He shuddered and buried his face in Soap’s neck, feeling warmth spread through him as Soap came too.

“Sorry, i should’ve worn a condom or asked or..” Ghost shut him up by kissing him.

“Not the best but you’re up there. Your technique needs work.” Ghost flopped back. “You’re a quick learner. I’m sure you can figure it out with experience.”

“Experience? So we are doing this again.”

“If you want...”

“Knew you like me LT.”

#Johnny Soap Mactavish #Simon Ghost Riley #Soap Cod #Ghost COD #Soapghost #Ghostsoap #Soap x Ghost #Ghost x Soap #Macriley #Call of Duty #Call Of Duty Modern Warfare 2 #bottom ghost

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whatdoeseverybodywant · 9 months

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LOVE - Chapter 9

After getting back together, Janelle finds out thats she’s pregnant. Follow along with Josh and Janelle as they deal with the highs and lows of her pregnancy.

I do NOT give permission for my work to be translated or reposted on here or any other site, even if you give me credit. DO NOT REPOST MY FICS

Reblogs, comments, likes, and feedback ALWAYS appreciated ❤

Janelle is played by Justine Skye

Sequel to All I Need Is You: Read Here

Catch up on all other parts here

TAGLIST: @christinabae@southerngirl41@reci24@jeyusos-girl@jeyusosgirl@melaninsugababy@baconeggndcheez@bemybabiibish@jstarr86@nbanenefrmdao@purplehairgawdess@arination99@alyyaanna@m3llowww@gomussy@jeysbae@hennyyybarb@babysyhsy @bebesobrielo @theninthwonder @romansnumberonegirl

The next two months were hectic for Janelle with the addition of Malachi and dealing with her postpartum depression. Mama Fatu had come over everyday and helped Janelle with everything and even if Janelle didn’t need anything done, Mama Fatu would just come and sit with her and sometimes even Trinity on her off days from IMPACT! Wrestling

But right now, she was all alone, Mama Fatu was sick and didn’t want to give Malachi any unnecessary germs, which was understandable. Trinity was busy, Josh and Jon were on the road and her father had taken Xavier to the park just to give Janelle some quiet time while Malachi was sleeping.

But something told her to keep her dad and Xavier and her father home, she had this gut feeling that something was going to happen. And she was right because standing on her front porch was none other than Ximena.

“Girl, what the hell do you want?”Janelle stressed as she opened the door. She was not in the mood to deal with this woman’s bullshit. Ximena cracked a smile and the irritated look on Janelle’s face.

“Oh, you had your baby. Congratulations.” Ximena chuckled when Janelle crossed her arms over her chest and said nothing. “Whatever is my son here?” Janelle rolled her eyes and went to shut the door in Ximena’s face but she placed her foot in the way, preventing it from closing.

“Ximena go away. Xavi doesn’t want to see you. Josh told you that already.” Ximena scoffed.

“I don’t understand why y’all would let a 4 year old decide what he wants. It makes no sense to me.”

“It doesn't have to make sense to you.” Janelle snapped back, the scowl on her face deepening. “How me and Josh raise our sons has no effect on you.” The smirk on Ximena’s face was gone in an instant.

“You ain’t pregnant nomore.” Ximena said, “I will whoop ya ass.”

“Try me bitch. I’ve been waiting for the day you put ya hands on me.” Janelle hissed, opening the door wider and stepping into Ximena’s personal space. When Ximena didn’t do anything Janelle smirked. “That’s what I thought. Now get the hell off my property.” Not waiting for a response, Janelle walked back into the house, slamming the door behind her, which of course woke up Malachi, who was sleeping in the living room.

“Perfect,” She mumbled before going to attend to him.

That bad feeling that Janelle had was still there two days later, which happened to be the day of Xavier’s 5th birthday party. Even with all of the planning and setting up Janelle just couldn’t shake off that feeling.

“You good?” Josh asked, walking up to her holding Malachi. She had just finished setting up the balloon arch near the entrance to the backyard. She snapped out of her thoughts and nodded her head.

“Yup.Peachy” She answered, making Josh frown at her. “I’m fine. Promise.” She said, giving him a tight lipped smile. He was about to reply when the doorbell rang. “Hopefully that’s Jon and Trin with the drinks.” She hurried off back inside the house before he could say anything.

She groaned when she saw who was actually at the door. Not in the mood to deal with her, she walked back to the backyard to Josh. “Your baby momma is at the door.” She said, grabbing Malachi out of his hands.

Josh sighed and walked towards the front door. “What do you want?” He asked, eyeing the gift bags in her hand.

“Hello to you too Josh.” She rolled her eyes. “It’s my baby’s fifth birthday, what else would I want?”

Josh closed his eyes and sighed. Today was stressful enough, he did not want Ximean at this birthday party. “Look, I don’t think this is a good idea. Aight, Maybe you can come back tomorrow or something. Just not today.” Ximena narrowed her eyes at him.

“Look, I'm not tryna start no mess. It’s Xavier’s birthday and I just want to be there for him.”

“Listen” Josh sighed “I’m not tryna be mean right, but you missed every other birthday. What’s different about this one?” Ximena stayed silent staring at Josh.

Janelle had walked back into the house and was hiding behind the wall in the living room, listening to their conversation. She understood that Ximena was Xavier’s birth mother but Janelle wished she would just go away and leave her family alone.

“Why can’t I just see my son? This is not fair Josh. I made a mistake and you and your bitch of a fiance-”

“Woah,” Josh cut her off, pointing a finger in her face. “Watch ya’ damn mouth. Janelle has been more of a mother than you have ever been. You can’t keep coming here and insulting her.”

“No fuck that,” Ximena snapped pushing Josh’s finger out of her face. “I understand that I fucked up. Okay! I know that. I’m trying to be in my son's life but y’all are making it so fucking difficult.”

“No, you made it difficult when you kidnapped him.” Josh growled out. “You went about that shit wrong and you know it. You somehow knew where I lived, you could’ve just come here and asked to see him and I probably would have said yes. But instead you kidnapped him and scared him. I don’t want you around my son.”

Ximena stood there for a moment, staring Josh down before she scoffed and handed Josh the gift bag before walking back to her car and driving away.

“Is everything okay?” Janelle asked as she walked towards Josh. “What did she want?”

Josh shook his head and guided her back into the house. “Nothing, come-on people should be arriving soon."

The party was going well. A Lot of people had shown up, kids from Xavi’s new school and old school. And Xavi was having the time of his life.

“Come-on kids! It’s time to sing ‘happy birthday’.” Janelle called out to everyone. She smiled as she watched all of the kids run over and form a circle around Xavier and the cake. Just as everyone began singing to Xavi, Janelle saw a group of people yelling out her and Josh’s name as they entered the backyard through the side gate. Janelle made eye contact with Josh who immediately grabbed his brothers to see who it was. Janelle handed Mama Fatu the cake and tools her to take everyone inside before going to see what was going on with Trinity following her.

“What the fuck!” Janelle was seething when she saw who was causing the commotion. “What are you doing here!” Janelle was breathing heavily as she looked at the group of people in front of her who looked like they came dressed for a fight.

Ximena chucked at the enraged look on Janelle’s face. “I”m sick of you thinking you can dictate when I can see my son.”

“So you interrupt his birthday party? That genius.” Janelle rolled her eyes. “Do you have rocks for brains? The shit that you do is the reason why Xavier doesn’t want to see you.”

Ximena tried to step into Janelle’s face but Josh stepped in between them. “I told you I don’t want you around my son.”

“It’s her son too. That’s the part y’all not understanding.” Josh looked over at Ximena’s brother.

“So y’all think this shit is okay? Y’all think comin’ up in here looking for a fight is the way to get Ximena to see Xavi?” Jon and Sefa were now holding Josh back from attacking Sebastian. “I’m telling you, yall need to leave, now.” Josh spat out, trying to get out of his brother’s grip.

“Calm ya’ ass down. You got too much to lose.” Jon whispered to Josh but Josh wasn’t listening; he had his eyes focused on Sebastian.

Ximena was glaring at Janelle, she was sick of this bitch thinking that Xavi was her son. “Fuck it.” Ximena shrugged before attacking Janelle and tackling her to the ground.

“Oh Shit!” Trinity shouted before trying to get Ximena off of Janelle but Janelle flipped Ximena over and started to punch on her. Josh had broken free of Jon’s grip and attacked Sebastian and it was now a free-for-all. The group that Ximena had brought with her had run off and basically left her to fend for herself. After getting one last kick in on Sebastian, Josh rushed over to pull Janelle off of Ximena.

“I told ya’ bitch ass I was waiting for you to put ya’ hand on me. You done fucked up now!.” Janelle yelled, still kicking at Ximena as Josh pulled her away.

“Aye, relax. The police are on their way and we’re pressing charges. But you need to relax. We still have guests inside.” Janelle took a deep breath and tried to relax, but Ximena had her all the way fucked up. She could take the name calling and the looks but once Ximena put her hands on Janelle all bets were off.

“Imma go tell everyone to leave.” Trin said as she ran back inside. Jon and Sefa had blocked off the side gate so Ximena and her brother had nowhere to go but to jail.

Kind of an abrupt ending but Janelle finally beat Ximena's ass.

1 more chapter left ❤️

Reblogs, comments, likes, and feedback ALWAYS appreciated ❤️

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calholic · 1 year

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Can you do a fic about Bill or Tom (doesn’t matter who because atp I can’t decide whether I’m a Bill girl or a Tom girl 😭) where both him and reader have been dreaming of eachother, but they’ve never met like ever. Like randomly they started having dreams of eachother, but the catch is, they’ve been dreaming WITH eachother. Then maybe one day they see eachother irl and both are in shock to find out that they’ve been dreaming with eachother

(Sorry if this doesn’t make sense 😭)

T. KAULITZ x READER

★ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: you haven’t gotten much sleep lately since you’ve been dreaming about a mysterious boy.

★ 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠: alcohol, swearing

★ 𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫’𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: LOL i am definitely a tom girl but anyways sorry i’ve been busy y’all 😻 i have to do band stuff (yes im in band) speaking of which though… band camp is starting soon so im gonna be really busy unfortunately 😭 but send reqs and i’ll try to write as much as i can and get a lot posted before i leave and i also try to post during it as well!! ALSOOOO my birthday is tomorrow yippee 🥳

you haven’t been able to sleep much recently, not ever since a mysterious bit appeared in your dreams. it was strange since you’ve never seen him before but you weren’t complaining since damn he was hot. your dreams with the boy were all very vivid, almost like they were real and you feel in control in those dreams, like it’s real life. you and the mysterious boy never speak in the dreams, usually you two would just enjoy each others company, amused by one another.

you wondered if that boy was real person dreaming just like you.

before you could overthink it though, you got up to get ready. you brushed you teeth, got changed and started making breakfast. you placed your food on the kitchen table before taking a seat and calling your friend liz. “can i come over later?” you asked her through the phone. “sure. i’m just picking breakfast right now, want some?” she asked. you looked down at your plate, deciding whether to eat at your place or abbi’s. “i’ll have some, see you later,” you said.

you packed your breakfast up put it in the fridge, making your way out the door to abbi’s house. since her place wasn’t that far, you would always walk over which took less that 15 minutes. when you finally got to her house, you decided to tell her all about your dreams with the mysterious hot boy. “okay so like the dreams are super vivid, but they’re just dreams,” you explained. “and the boy? do you know him?” she asked. “that’s the thing! i don’t know him, he’s like super mysterious,” you replied.

“well what does he look like?” she asked. you though about it entire giving your response. “well he has like dreadlocks, he wears baggy clothes and he has a lip piercing right here,” you explained, pointing to your lip. “he sounds totally hot,” abbi said sarcastically. “ugh you don’t get, i wud you could see him because he is totally hot,” you said. “yeah whatever,” she said.

you guys continued eating your food before abbi started talking. “do you wanna go out tonight?” she asked. “i don’t know… i’m not really i’m the mood,” you replied. “well maybe you’ll find your dream boy,” she said. “oh you’re right, fine i’ll go but you’re paying for first round of shots,” you said laughing as abbi rolled her eyes. you guys decided to go out to run some errands before going back to your place to get ready.

you guys first went to the post office since abbi had to mail something. you waited outside since she’d be awhile and as you waited you noticed someone that caught your eye. it was a boy who looked exactly the one in your dreams but… different? you thought. this boy had spiky black hair instead of dirty blonde dreadlocks. he was inside a gift shop across from the post office. you quickly rushed into the post office to grab abbi’s attention.

“abbi! look! across the street, that boy with black hair, do you see him?” you asked. “yeah…? what’s wrong with him?” she asked. “he looks exactly like the boy in my dreams,” you said. abbi didn’t speak for a second. “wow, i’m sorry i doubted you then, that boy is hot,” she said. “i know right?!” you replied. “well what are you going to do?” she asked. “nothing i guess, i mean what can i do?” you replied. “you’re right, let’s just go back to your place now,” she replied.

you two took a taxi back to yours since it would’ve been a 30 minute walk. “maybe we will fine your dream boy tonight, i mean we basically saw his twin today,” abbi said. “maybe,” you replied, focused on your mascara. abbi was curling her hair and you were doing your makeup as you waited for her to finish. you two switched before both finishing. “you done?” she asked. “almost,” you said, putting your hoop earring in. “okay! now i’m done,”

you guys took get another taxi to the club for a night out, hoping to find your dream boy or at least get drunk. the club was packed today, it’s not like it was the weekend so you weren’t sure why. as you two walked in you could tell the club was filed with girls, all in a crowd surrounding someone. you and abbi tried looking to see who it was but couldn’t push through the other girls. “is there a celebrity or something?” abbi asked. “i don’t know but let’s just go to the bar,” you replied. as you two left the crowd, you didn’t realize a pair of eyes following you.

you ordered your drink along with abbi and you guys started talking as you waited. “look around, do you see him?” you asked abbi. “i can’t tell this club is filled with girls,” she said. “yeah i wonder what that’s about,” you said as you looked at the crowd. your drinks arrived and you two started drinking, you both got shots. even though abbi could not hold alcohol she always insists on drinking and she was already drunk after her third shot.

she decided to walk around now, searching for a hookup and you decided to follow her. she laid eyes on a boy with curly brown hair and started making a move, you decided to leave her and go sit on a sofa. you sat around awkwardly now not knowing what to do until you locked eyes with familiar face. you couldn’t believe what you were seeing, it was the boy from your dreams. he had the dreadlocks and everything and he looked shocked to see you as well. you didn’t know if you should approach him or just leave it because what if he thinks you’re crazy?

you convinced yourself that you were seeing things and that the alcohol was kicking in so you went to the nearest bathroom you could find. you splashed your face with water before getting your phone out to text abbi about the encounter. you then prepared yourself and walked out.

“hey,” you heard a male voice call from behind you as you slowly turned around. “hello?” you asked. it was the same boy you saw a few minutes ago. “this may sound weird but i’ve been seeing you in my dreams lately and i haven’t been able to sleep. i knew i had to approach y since this was such a coincidence,” he said and you were surprised that he was dreaming about you as well. “wow, oh my gosh. i’ve been dreaming about you too, i wasn’t sure you were real when i saw you but i haven’t been able to sleep recently either,” you replied.

“let me buy you a drink,” he said. you nodded and followed him to the bar. you guys got to talking more and you both realized you’ve been dreaming about the same thing. “do you think we’ve been dreaming together? i mean my dreams feel pretty vivid,” you said. “surprisingly this makes sense,” he replied. you guys instantly clicked after that. you found out that his name was tom and you told him about your encounter with his “look-a-like” which you now know as his twin bill.

once you both left the bar you started texting instead and of course you had to tell abbi all about it.

#no proofreading we die like men #tokio hotel #fan fiction #tom kaulitz fanfic #tom kaulitz x reader

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serial-serializednovelreader · 2 months

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Nova’s Notes - Dracula Daily - July 20

In which Seward completes his thought (it only took him *checks notes* TWELVE days to cook it up but it’s here)…

Again, Seward uses a lot of ableist language in this entry that I do not relish. There is also implied animal death (not “shown”, just said to have happened) and mention of drugging someone. To get around this, I won’t quote these parts and will only describe them as little as I can (under the cut). I’ll also post this with the appropriate tags. If I don’t see you in this one, I hope to see you in a bit of a lighter entry! Your mental health matters <3

“Visited Renfield very early, before the attendant went his rounds. Found him up and humming a tune. He was spreading out his sugar, which he had saved, in the window, and was manifestly beginning his fly-catching again; and beginning it cheerfully and with a good grace. I looked around for his birds, and not seeing them, asked him where they were. He replied, without turning round, that they had all flown away.”

I know we have a lot to get to, but at least I finally have an answer as to how he’s catching flies — sugar! That makes sense! (Yes, that is what I’m focusing on, no I’m not sorry about it — I’ve been asking Seward about methodology for WEEKS and he just got back to me with this /j) I do wonder where he gets the sugar to spread though…I suppose if Seward is supporting his “pet endeavors” to this end, he is probably allowing him to keep sugar for this purpose. I guess that makes sense. I’m also just imagining Renfield dancing around and humming while spreading sugar…a fun image, to be sure.

Here’s where it gets bad. Last warning, y’all!

What’s not fun is that we can’t see where the birds went. And Renfield isn’t forthcoming on where they went….the fact he won’t turn around while speaking to Seward is telling in and of itself.

So Seward looks further about the room and sees two signs that point to Renfield lying about the birds flying away: feathers scattered about the room, and a drop of blood on his pillow.

Not a good sign!!! Not a good sign at all!!!! I knew this was coming, but I do love that Stoker *evokes* the message of what happened, rather than outright saying it by showing the image of blood and feathers. The art of show don’t tell comes into play once more.

A bit later in the day at 11 a.m., an attendant affirms what Seward already knows: those birds did not just “fly away”. How do they know? Well, Renfield is now sick and is…throwing up feathers. Yeah, this isn’t good.

Twelve hours later, we get an update: that Renfield was given some medication to put him to sleep and Seward took his notebook to read.

Ok, so initially when I read this I was like, “he drugged him without his consent???? To take his notebook???? How DARE he????” And yes, we can definitely look at it in that light, but before doing so, I’d recommend reading this post with the note at the bottom by @rosetyler42 (and also has really good points by @animate-mush for the later points in this post, which I’ll also address). TL;DR, the point raised is that there’s a good chance Seward actually gave Renfield the medicine to help him go to sleep because of his illness. I agree that he likely has food poisoning after what he’s eaten and, as someone who’s had this, you do not feel very good! It would make sense that Seward — as a doctor — would give him medication to treat it, though in this case, the treatment would likely mean putting him to sleep for a time. With all of the nausea and pain he’s in, that actually has some sense to it.

Of course, in the meantime, Seward *will* take the opportunity to read Renfield’s journal. He may be treating his patient (and whether you believe he actually is treating him, or that he solely drugged him to get the notebook is your choice — I know he hasn’t being the most ethical person lately), but he’s not going to miss the chance to peek through the personal belongings while he can! That’s just how Seward is.

Note: this next part is where he uses the majority of his ableist language. I don’t mention it in my thoughts, but wanted to give a heads up for anyone who hasn’t read the entry yet and was wondering where this starts.

Seward finally completes his thought (and I can’t really skate around the implications, so apologies for this): Renfield is setting out to absorb as much life as he can, and he intends to do this by way of a mini food chain, with him as the top predator. Seward is quite interested in what would have been his later steps, and if anything scientifically important could be achieved by this.

Yes, this is where he brings up vivisection, but as the post I linked states, this is more of an example of what was considered to be a strange scientific method that turned out to be useful, rather than him wanting to perform this on Renfield. Don’t get me wrong, the fact that he brings up vivisection as his first thought is…strange, I won’t deny that. But I think it’s more his brain nerding out on science things, rather than wanting to do a vivisection. What he does what to do is get to the heart of what Renfield’s science could be capable of, if anything. However, and this is important to note, he won’t do that because he is not willing to go this far into unethical territory by continuing the experiment. Why? There’s not enough sufficient evidence to indicate positive results, as evidenced by this passage:

“If only there were a sufficient cause! I must not think too much of this, or I may be tempted; a good cause might turn the scale with me, for may not I too be of an exceptional brain, congenitally?”

(Lol, yes Seward you’re smart too <— edit: he actually means out of the norm/neurodivergent here, not smart) He also speculates on the value Renfield places on a human life — many or just one. I do think this is interesting to consider, as some of us humans do eat meat! I don’t like where Seward is going with this though!!!

I do like where he closes this train of thought with:

“He has closed the account most accurately, and to-day begun a new record. How many of us begin a new record with each day of our lives?”

That…that is very profound, Seward. You didn’t have to put that in your musings about Renfield, but you did. Something that I enjoy about Seward’s character is that he likes to get lost in philosophical musings and this is a good example of that.

“To me it seems only yesterday that my whole life ended with my new hope, and that truly I began a new record. So it will be until the Great Recorder sums me up and closes my ledger account with a balance to profit or loss. Oh, Lucy, Lucy, I cannot be angry with you, nor can I be angry with my friend whose happiness is yours; but I must only wait on hopeless and work. Work! work!”

Oh, Seward! And here we reach the root of the problem, one he’s been avoiding talking about for a long time: Lucy. After all, this whole experiment-fiasco has been a distraction to keep himself from thinking of her. But what has that done for him, truly? He still ends up thinking about her, regardless. It breaks my heart a bit that he called her his new hope and that he had to begin anew after that 🥺 it’s never good to put hope as a person but…I understand what he means and it hurts!

Seward comparing God to a “Great Recorder” who will “sum up his account” is so interesting to me! It’s cool to get an insight as to his perspective on religion and how he thinks of it in a more “logical” way (and I do understand he could just be using a metaphor here, but I do think this is his logic and that’s fun to think about lol).

Finally, I love that while he still feels hopeless and bogged down by the fact that all he has to look forward to is his work, he emphasizes that he’s not angry at Lucy *or* Arthur. He wants them to be happy! It doesn’t mean he won’t still be sad, though :(

In the end, he wants a cause like Renfield has — a “strong” one he can turn to that will give him “happiness”. Will that give him real happiness though? Because Renfield sure doesn’t seem happy after his illness today. I’m just saying…

That’s all for this one! Will be putting out the others soon — sorry for the late entry on this one.

#dr seward #r.m. renfield #dracula daily #novas notes #dracula #cw ableism mention #ableism mention #cw animal death mention #animal death ment tw #cw drugging #implied drugging

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ourflagmeansgayrights · 4 months

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some of y’all might’ve noticed that like 90% of the shit i reblog lately is tagged just “#tag later” and this is bc my new job has me working three 12hr overnight shifts a week and this leaves me too exhausted to tag things correctly. i started doing this back in like october-november when i was working AND going to school and was basically doing 52 hrs of work a week and i started tagging the wrong characters and shit and ppl would point it out and i was like aw FUCK. so i started tagging shit “tag later” with the idea that when i stopped having to do these hellish 52hr weeks i’d be less exhausted and i could go through that tag and fix everything. however with my new job there isn’t rlly an end in sight, this is just my life now (and fwiw i rlly like it even if my tagging game is slipping, i love my job). i’ve been tagging stuff “tag later” pretty consistently and i’m starting to think that maybe Employed Jess just can’t keep up w the combo of 1. Having A Full Time Job, 2. my insane tagging system, and 3. my obsessive need to see Every Single Post On My Dashboard. so my options are:

give up on the tagging system altogether (genuinely can’t imagine doing this. reblogging stuff with no way to sort it into categories??? the fuck?????? that’s fucking insane to me. i think i’d get so anxious abt my blog being an infinite unsortable jumble of ofmd posts that i’d delete my whole blog in a panic one night)

simplify the tagging system somewhat (somewhat more doable but also the difference between my old tagging system and my new tagging system on different posts would still drive me fucking insane)

try to get over my anxiety about Seeing Every Single Post and just focus on actually tagging things correctly when i go to reblog them (this one is fun bc if i actually manage to conquer this neurosis then i can finally follow back the dozens of rlly cool ofmd blogs that im only not following bc i’m weird abt how i use tumblr. however i think what would be more likely to happen is i would follow everyone and then still be anal abt seeing every post, but now my dash would be functionally infinite and then i’d be wasting even more time scrolling on tumblr trying to catch up on my dashboard during work or when i’m supposed to be sleeping. and then i’d have to unfollow ppl to stop my life from falling into chaos and i’d feel rlly bad)

seriously limit my time on tumblr just in general and try to focus more on other hobbies in my free time (dgmw there would still be a lot of ofmd in my life i’d just be doing more, like, catching up on fics i’ve been meaning to read or something. maybe even writing more of my own fics??? that sounds fake to me but who knows)

just keep doing what i’m doing and maybe i’ll get better at the whole “work life balance” thing and i’ll be less exhausted all the time and i’ll finally be able to catch up on tagging everything

#mine #not gay pirates

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yawntutsyip · 2 years

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shenanigans with the avatar kids:

warnings: cussing

characters include: Ao’nung and Lo’ak + a lil bit of Neteyam

context: part two with getting in trouble with Ao’nung and Lo’ak

Part one • masterlist

AN: sorry if this is shit 😭 I wasn’t sure if I should’ve done what happened after or just other scenarios when they got in trouble but I just chose to do what happened after. I can make other getting in trouble scenarios next if you guys like or if you guys have any request for scenarios idk 🤷‍♀️

I hope you guys enjoy it , I’m still kinda ehh on it 😭

Y’all I have too much free time in my hands…

Getting in trouble with Ao’nung and Lo’ak Part 2:

The principal decided to give you guys after-school detention because he likes you guys so much…totally not because you three were all on your knees pleading for him not to call your parents.

He like like “okay okay okay fine, just get out and go back to class- I actually have a job and need to work ya know”. After that, you guys dipped so fast.

Instead of going back to the class like he said to…

You three all agreed to just skip the rest of the period and go chill in this one ‘teachers only’ bathroom that was far away from the classes, it was hidden.

You had gotten the key from this one teacher's daughter. You made a deal with her that if she gave you the keys you would set her up a date with Neteyam.

Now, you were not a complete monster..ofc you asked Neteyam to do it so you can have the key.

This caused you to also make a deal with him- you had to be his personal errand girl for the rest of the month and give him a copy of the key 😭

You said fuck it so now here we are, you with the key in your hands walking to your guy's new hang out spot.

The things you do for this friend group 🙄

When you guys hang out in there It usually consists of you guys messing around taking photos, sleeping, dance-offs you don’t even want to know, and sometimes Lo’ak brings board games to school.

Or even RARELY y’all be actually studying, (Ao’nung and Neteyam are the ones tutoring you guys) shocking I know.

Literally, y’all be doing anything but go to class.

When you open the door you find Neteyam in there already chilling sitting against the wall.

“Hey ‘Teyam~” you walk in holding the door behind you for the boys.

“Hey (y/n/n)~ Hey Ao’nung, Lo’ak” he replies waving.

Neteyam was not skipping, he actually has free periods cuz the boy got them extra credits 🤪

Y’all are jealous, you wish that was you huh.

You go and sit next to Neteyam with your head in his lap and he goes straight to playing with your hair with one hand, scrolling on his phone in the other. (teehee 🤭)

Lo’ak follows after with him laying on your legs and Ao’nung laying on your stomach.

After you guys were chatting for a bit you three ended up passing out with Neteyam having to wake your asses up when the bell rang for the next period.

time skip to after school, y’all were meeting back in the principal's office except you were late.

So Lo’ak and Ao’nung were sitting in the room silently with the principal.

It was awkward, you are the neutralizer of the trio. Without you, the group falls to mush.

A couple minutes of awkward waiting later you come running panting.

“I’m sorry! *pant* I was in *pant* PE *pant*” you came in the room hunched over, hands on your knees

“Damn girl, I think I might need to start taking you to the gym with me if you can’t even handle the school's PE” Ao’nung says while watching you sit down next to him catching your breath.

“…coach made me run laps the whole time because I pointed and laughed that his pants were inside out…” you tell them groaning in annoyance.

Like what?! The man’s pants were literally flipped inside out and he got mad that you told him? Ungrateful ass-

“How did he not notice?-“ Lo’ak began laughing but the principal cleared his throat making him shut up

“Your after-school detention will be cleaning the girl's bathroom. Some girls decided it would be funny to write on the walls with a sharpie.. the janitor had put the supplies in there already. Once you guys are done you may go home”

Then y’all left to do your punishment.

“Hey, Lo’ak this is gonna be the closest you get to a girl~ enjoy it while you can” Ao’nung teases while wiping the mirror.

“Very funny, I’ve been close to a girl before- just ask your mom” cue Lo’ak’s cocky ass smirk as he shouted from one of the stalls

“What?!—“ Ao’nung is this emoji rn > 😧

“Omg don’t you dare start fighting right now, also fyi- I'M LITERALLY A GIRL HELLO???” You shout at them offended.

Honestly they forgot for a second lmao

“oopsies” we’re giving to you by them.

Once you guys were done scrubbing and cleaning, all that was left was the writing on the wall in the big stall.

Y’all three look at each other and let out big sighs. “Let’s get to work boys”

Put your back into it 🙌

While you guys were cleaning Ao’nung was playing music on his phone. Just random ass music.

You guys took dance breaks, Lo’ak and Ao’nung we’re trying to see who could get sturdy better.

You were just shaking ass while the boys hyped you up, they will always be your number one hype men.

The janitor heard lots of shouting and commotion so they walk in and you guys quickly pause the music and went back to scrubbing the walls like nothing happened.

They quietly observed before leaving again, queue music and dancing again.

“Who the fuck was dumb enough to even write this shit on the walls?” Ao’nung complained trying to get rid of the words on the stall.

“Haha look at this one it says ‘I have the biggest dick in this school’ what kind of dumbass writes that- especially in the girl's bathroom” Lo’ak points out to Ao’nung.

You walk between them and read it. “Oh yeah that was me- and your sisters-“

“You guys are idiots.” They both tell you.

It took y’all an hour and a half to finish. like goddamn. But it was because you guys kept getting distracted and taking breaks.

Ao’nung was the only one out of the three to get your license so he took you both home.

Lo’ak’s parents don’t trust him enough to be behind a wheel but he swears he can drive with his eyes close- yeah self-explanatory.

And you were just too lazy 🤷‍♀️ plus Ao’nung was basically your private Uber driver, and it was free?!? Yeah, you’ll take your time with getting your license.

Leaked photos of the gang in the bathrooms 🧍‍♀️:

#atwow #aonung x reader #atwow x reader #avatar the way of water #x reader #ao’nung #ao’nung x reader #atwow imagine #avatar x reader #lo’ak x reader #lo’ak #neteyam x reader #☆ — modern au ˖˚⊹

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mrs-gucci · 1 year

Text

It’s Just Politics (Part 1 of 2)

Commander Mills x senator!Reader (f)

written for my welcome back celebration, phase one.

y’all voted, y’all wanted me to write some more Mills, so here I am :) this is part one of two, so enjoy the beginning of the story and get excited for part two which will be coming soon!!

content warnings. accidentally walking in on someone naked (he walks in on her), implied/mentioned age difference (gap not specified, Mills is 36)

word count: 3.4k (...whoops)

summary~ Commander Mills reluctantly takes a last-minute job captaining the Senator of Somaris’s personal ship on a flight to Cyllene for this year’s galactic policy conference. Both of them get much, much more than they bargained for...but they’re not necessarily complaining about it.

"You're kidding me."

Jai shakes his head, continuing to submit order forms for ship parts.

"I'm dead serious, man. Travis wants you to do it, it'll pay well, and you won't be gone for that long. At least two weeks, it's just to Cyllene for the annual galactic policy conference. Simple."

"Nothing is ever simple with her, you know that. She's impossible to deal with." Mills huffs. "What happened to her captain? Why can't he do it?"

"Dunno. I think he transferred or is off on a long-range mission. I can't remember, but you should take it. Even though the Senator is a bit of a difficult client, she has a lot of power and could easily help you get a higher-paying job."

Mills knows Jai is right. He should take this job; he needs the money after paying for Nevine's treatments. He has to continue supporting his wife even if their marriage is a bit on the rocks.

"Fine," he says after a moment. "I'll tell Travis that I'll take the job."

Jai smiles, walking past his coworker and giving him a pat on the back as he does so. He lets out a soft chuckle. "Good man. Just...try not to kill her, okay?"

Mills hums, smiling ever so slightly.

"No promises."

***

"Are all of my dresses packed properly?" you ask the service droid as it begins to load your things onto the dolly. "It's of the utmost importance that they not be wrinkled. I want to represent Somaris to the best of my ability at this year's conference."

"Yes, Mistress," the droid says. "I made sure to pack each one myself."

You nod slightly. "Good. Thank you, I always appreciate your hard work, PZ."

"Of course. I am always at your service, Senator."

PZ finishes loading the bags and quickly takes them to the royal vessel while you prepare for the long journey ahead. You always hate going up into space, but unfortunately, it's an integral part of your job, so you have to do it more often than you'd prefer.

You walk to the docking bay, and you stop as soon as you see him walking towards your ship.

"You're kidding me."

Mills huffs out a soft laugh as he passes you. "Yeah, that's what I said too."

"Tell me you're not the one flying the ship. Please, please tell me you're not in charge of this trip--" You catch up to him.

"I need the money, alright?" Mills says, jaw clenching. "That's the only reason I agreed to it. Trust me, I wish I didn't have to, but there's hardly any work for pilots right now."

"No need to give me your whole life story, Mills. I won't cry you a river like others may have."

You roll your eyes and walk towards the ship ramp, immediately colliding with him. Apparently, he decided to step forward at that exact moment that you did. You huff and leave him in the dust, boarding the ship and immediately going to your sleeping quarters.

This'll be an interesting journey, that much you're sure of...

***

For the third time in the thirty minutes you've been flying, your water glass nearly falls onto the floor as the ship suddenly jerks to the side, then a bit downward, before returning to a steady state. You shut the computer off and walk to the cockpit, immediately hearing Mills's grumblings as he reaches across the controls console.

"I know you dislike me, but I didn't think you'd try any sort of murder attempt until much later in the trip," you say, crossing your arms as you stand in the doorway. "And I must say, I'm extremely disappointed in your efforts thus far."

Mills's jaw clenches once again. And here he was, starting to relax now that he's mostly figured out the new controls...

"For now, I figured having you get sick would be satisfying enough," he says, turning around to look at you. "The murder attempts will be much more obvious, I assure you. Plus, keeping you alive until after the conference is in my best interest, so I get paid for at least half of the trip."

You chuckle dryly. "Fair point. Now, are you sure that all of your licenses and qualifications aren't expired? Because you're flying this ship almost as badly as I do, and I don't have any licenses."

"I've never flown a ship with such unnecessarily complicated controls," he replies simply. "This is a class of ship I'm not used to handling."

"Mm, mhm. Sure, my ship's definitely the problem. You could never be at fault for not having flown a diverse range of ships in your many years of being a pilot...because you're old."

He huffs. "Really, you're resorting to calling me 'old' now? You can't find any more halfway decent or clever comebacks in your apparently vast bank of them?"

You smirk slightly. "So you admit that my comebacks are clever and good?"

"No, I said they're clever and halfway decent," he says, unable to help the tiny upward twitch of the corner of his mouth. "Big difference. Also, I'm not old."

"Everyone who's old tried to say they're not old. If you're over 40, you're officially old."

"How old do you think I am?" He looks back at you.

"I dunno," you shrug. "Like 40."

"Fuck, I'm 36," he grumbles, turning back to flip a switch on the panel. "Go back to your quarters, Senator. I'll try to keep the ship under control, although I doubt it'll be to your very high standards."

You turn and begin to walk away. Suddenly, the ship dips again, and you nearly lose your balance, falling into the wall. You whip your head around and hear the softest of chuckles from the cockpit, rolling your eyes at the sound.

"Just do your damn job, Mills."

***

Mills sighs as he flips the autopilot switch and prepares to head off to his sleeping quarters. He probably should've asked where his quarters were before takeoff, but honestly, he didn't even think of it at the time. He was too busy dealing with you.

As much as he hates to admit it, you actually intrigue him. You're young, beautiful, and incredibly hard-headed. All qualities he saw in his wife when he first met her.

Several doors line the hallway, and Mills picks the one closest to the cockpit. It opens, and it's a closet filled to the brim with luggage and garment bags. He huffs, then shuts it promptly.

He moves to the next door, already mentally checking out for the night. When it opens, his eyes widen.

You're standing completely bare, applying your body lotion before you dress for bed. You turn around and gasp, quickly covering your breasts before turning away.

"Get out!"

Mills, for a moment, can't bring himself to move. Fuck, it's been a while since he's seen a naked woman, and you're so--

"GET OUT!" you exclaim, looking back at Mills. "OUT!!"

He suddenly snaps back into reality, muttering an apology before shutting the door and letting out a shaky breath. He tries to commit it all to memory: how your skin shone in the dim lamplight, your plump breasts and hardened nipples, the beautiful curve of your hips...

Turning away, he walks to the final door in the hall, which contains a small cot. He puts his things into the small dresser and tries not to revisit his memories of your body. It's highly inappropriate for him to lust after a woman years his junior, especially since he hates you, and you two have yet to have a non-argumentative conversation.

Suddenly, the door slides open as Mills takes off his shirt. He turns around and sees you, now dressed in a nightgown, looking absolutely infuriated. But he doesn't miss how your eyes dart down his body momentarily.

"What is wrong with you??" You ask angrily, glaring up at him. "Why didn't you close the door right away? Why'd you keep looking at me? Are you some kind of pervert or something?"

He huffs, turning away from you.

"No, I'm not a pervert. I just froze up for a moment. I was surprised. I thought the room would be empty...it won't happen again. It was an accident."

"Mhm. Aren't you married? How would your wife feel if she saw you staring like that?"

"Yeah, well, she and I aren't exactly on the same page these days," he says, pulling his sleep shirt on before turning to you again. "So what, you wanna see my dick, make us even?"

Well, kind of.

You huff, crossing your arms. "No," you say. "Because I'm a lady and would never do anything like that."

Mills chuckles. "Mhm. You just keep telling yourself that."

He reaches for the pants resting over his hips. "If you're such a lady, I suggest you head out before you see anything improper. God forbid."

"Goodnight to you too, Captain."

***

Mills's quarters are open when you pass by, so who wouldn't be curious about what secret life this guy could be living? You look around, then step inside. It's very basic; he's brought almost nothing personal. Well, almost nothing. You spot a holoprojector lying on his bed.

Is the great Commander Mills enjoying some pornography during his downtime?

Chuckling softly at the thought, you pick it up carefully and turn it on, purely out of curiosity. What comes up is incredibly unexpected. It's a young girl playing with a toy ship. Suddenly, it clicks in your mind: this is his daughter. Before she…

You scroll to the next one, and the next, and the next, watching only a few seconds of each. Then, you reach one where she's looking much sickly. She's got a nasal cannula in, and her cough, which you noticed throughout the videos, is much worse.

And then, you flip to the very last side. It's the voice of your wife, hand on your daughter's lifeless one.

Oh no—

"What are you doing?"

You gasp softly, startled at the sound. He's calm, but a certain edge to his voice sends a little chill down your spine.

"I-I..." you don't have an answer. "I thought this was something--"

"Give that to me," he snaps, snatching it from your hands and turning it off. "This is my quarters, my personal space. What's so hard to understand about that, huh?!"

You open your mouth to speak. He doesn't allow it.

"I would never think to step into your room and look through your belongings. You think just because you're a senator that you outrank me and can do whatever the fuck--"

"That's not it!" you say suddenly. "It was wrong, alright? I'm sorry. I made a mistake. I let my curiosity get the best of me. I didn't think you'd have anything like that."

For a moment, Mills is genuinely surprised at your quick admittance of guilt. He thought you'd surely make up some bullshit excuse as to why you're in here looking through his daughter's holo memories.

Just seeing that bit of the final holo of his daughter already has him tearing up, but there's no way in the galaxy he's gonna cry in front of you. He looks away, setting the holoprojector back down on the top of his dresser.

"Go."

You're at a loss for words. Look at what you've done; you've violated his privacy and forced him to relive such an awful memory. All because you wanted to get some dirt on him. It all seems silly and stupid now. "Look, Mills, I'm really--"

Tears are threatening to slip down his cheeks. He needs you to leave before you see him break down.

"Leave!" he snaps again, although his voice is much shakier this time. "Leave me a-alone!"

You swallow harshly, then walk back towards the door. You pause for a moment, looking back at him, seeing how his whole body shakes as he tries to keep his sobs.

"I'm truly sorry."

He says nothing, waiting until the door closes to let out the quiet but violent cries he's been holding in.

When dinner rolls around, you sit in the same seat you usually do at the small table. Except there's no sign of Mills anywhere. He's stayed on the bridge with the door shut all day. PZ brings out your meal, then sets Mills's down at his usual spot.

"Where is the Captain?" PZ asks. "Will he not be joining you for dinner this evening?"

You shrug slightly, looking over at the bridge door. "I don't know, PZ. He hasn't left his pilot's seat all day."

"Well, perhaps I should--"

"No," you interrupt. "You don't wanna irritate him. He's had a rough day. I'll take it to him if he doesn't come out."

PZ nods, then walks back to continue checking on your dresses. You sigh softly and eat alone, occasionally looking over at the door. Nothing.

You really don't wanna take the food in, but you know it's the right thing to do. Plus, it'll give you time to hopefully apologize again for earlier without him yelling or getting too upset.

With a deep breath, you press the 'open' button, and the door whooshes, revealing the tall back of the pilot's chair. Various controls on the panel flash and beep. He reaches over to silence them.

"Yes?"

You step forward. "I have your dinner. I figured you wouldn't wanna come out to eat with me--"

"A correct assumption."

"...so I brought your dinner in here."

He nods. "Thank you."

You set the plate down to the side.

"Look, I'm really sorry about what happened earlier," you say sincerely. "It wasn't my place to snoop around your quarters, and I apologize. I also...I didn't know about your daughter. I'm sorry about that, too."

Mills says nothing but turns around in the chair to look at you. After a moment, he nods slightly. "Thank you for apologizing. And I'm sorry that I snapped like that. It's just a hard thing for me to revisit."

"Of course, and I completely understand why you reacted the way you did. I deserved that, but you didn't deserve to have your private life violated like that. I'm sorry, truly. I feel terrible about it."

He's very much surprised by your sudden remorse and show of emotion. You rarely soften like this, and it makes him wonder if he's jumped to conclusions too soon. Maybe you're not always the hard-ass, demanding, a stubborn politician you make yourself out to be.

"All is forgiven, Senator. I promise it's alright. I appreciate you apologizing."

You nod, offering him a small smile. "Great. I'd hate for us to be on shitty terms for the rest of the journey."

"Agreed," Mills nods. "Thanks for bringing my dinner. I'll see you tomorrow, Senator."

"See you tomorrow, Captain."

***

"Wait, wait..." you start, huffing softly. "You're telling me we have to stop on Zexade for fuel? I thought this ship could carry enough fuel for the entire journey. I've never had this problem before."

"There's a first time for everything," Mills replies simply, flicking a few switches on the dashboard. "We had to take an alternate route around a nebula, which took more fuel than anticipated. Zexade should have what we need."

"How long is that gonna take? We cannot be late to this conference, Mills. It's super important that we arrive on time--"

"You'll get there on time, Senator. You insisted we leave two days earlier than we needed to. Do you not remember that?"

Your jaw clenches. "I recall that, yes. But I've been late before, and it was absolutely humiliating. I want to be sure I'm there in advance to begin talking with the other senators."

"The refueling stop shouldn't take more than a few hours. We're on schedule to arrive on Cyllene early." He rolls his eyes. "There's no need to worry about anything. I have it all under--"

A loud crash is heard, and the ship lurches. You stumble, quickly gripping the wall for support.

"Everything's under control, huh?" you ask bitterly. "Then what in the world was that?"

The control panel and the proximity sensor start beeping frantically, and Mills groans. He was worried that something like this would happen. More shots are fired at the ship, and he dodges most of them.

"Get out of here! Strap into a chair or something!"

"What is it? Why are they shooting at the ship--"

Another bold hits the ship and takes a few pieces of paneling off. You nearly fall again.

"Pirates," he says. "They want the ship to salvage and possibly take us hostage for ransom money. Now get into a seat before you get hurt!"

You run back towards the emergency seats, but then you see the hatch for the gunner position. You know at that moment what you need to do. The ship dips again, and you fall into the wall with a soft groan, but you climb into the gunner seat before any more sudden jerks.

Mills' eyebrows furrow when he hears static from a headset hanging on top of a control panel. He lifts it up and puts it on, thinking it could be some sort of communication from the pirates.

"Get me into position," you say, flipping switches and pressing buttons rapidly, warming up the guns. "I can take them out."

"What the fuck are you doing down there?! I told you to strap in--"

"Fuck strapping in; I'm not just gonna sit there and wait for you to let the ship be torn apart. These pirates are gonna take us out if we don't put up some sort of defense."

He knows he should focus on the pirates, but he's still trying to wrap his head around that you apparently know how to operate the gunner position. He's also trying to wrap his head around that he's about to take commands from you.

"Alright, alright," he says, adjusting the headset quickly before swerving more shots. "Do you have a shot?"

Your jaw clenches. "Do you think, if I had a shot, I would have told you to get me into position?!"

This is gonna be harder than he thought.

"Can we save the biting wit and snarky remarks for when we're not getting shot at by pirates, please?!"

"Fine," you huff. "I've almost got a shot on one of the ships. Take a sharp left and drop her down a bit."

He does what you say, and you quickly shoot the pirate ship down, which explodes and takes another one out. You smirk, mentally high-fiving yourself.

"Suck it!" you say into the microphone, forgetting that it's on. "You just got shot down by a fucking senator, losers!! Ha ha!"

Mills listens and allows a slight smile to tug at the corners of his mouth.

"Your mic is still on, Senator. But thank you for that wonderful piece of audio," he says, looking over at the proximity map. There are two more ships left. "I'm gonna pull up really hard and try to get you a clear shot on the two smaller fighters. Can you do that?"

Your cheeks warm with embarrassment. "Y-Yeah, yeah, of course, I can. Just get me into position, and I'll take care of the rest."

"Good." He chuckles softly and suddenly pulls up, accelerating rapidly.

You keep your hands on the trigger buttons, holding on tightly as the ship climbs almost directly upwards. The pirate fighters are obviously confused but follow, climbing with us.

“Do a corkscrew maneuver!” You say into the mic. "Now!"

"What?! You want me to do a what?! You're crazy!"

You growl softly. "Trust me, just do it!!"

Mills grips the steering wheel tightly and begins to spin the ship around and around, cursing you in his head as he begins to feel nauseous. Your eyes narrow, and you shoot at the vessels, hitting one, then the other.

"I got 'em! We're clear!"

He slows, returns the ship to the usual level state, and sighs, running a hand through his hair. Goddamn, that was fucking crazy. You're...incredibly quick on your feet, and you ultimately made the right call.

Between your genuine apology and this sudden show of badassery, it's almost hard to believe that Mills is starting to actually like you. He'll never admit that part out loud, but it's true.

You emerge from the hatch and walk to the cockpit, releasing shaky breaths. The adrenaline is still flowing as you head towards Mills' chair.

"So..." you start. He turns and looks at you, and you offer him a teasing smile. "How much longer to Zexade?"

-- part two (upcoming) --

general taglist: @mrs-zimmerman

fic-specific taglist: @mrs-zimmerman @safarigirlsp @queeniebee

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