#nurse!alina

[kasagia]

Today marks ONE year of my writing on Tumblr!

And I didn't manage to finish the oneshot for our Aleksander (I'm so sorry :c ), so I wanted to at least share with you a fragment of what I will publish soon.

And thank you for all the comments, hearts and follows (THERE ARE OVER 1111 OF YOU!!!!! I can't believe it!!!!) THANK YOU VERY MUCH! I love you all! 🩵🖤🖤🩵🩵🖤🖤🩵🩵🖤🖤🩵🩵🖤🖤🩵🩵🖤🖤🩵🩵🖤🖤🩵🩵🖤🖤🩵🩵🖤🖤🩵

A fragment from: "His mortal saviour" - coming soon...

The first thing he felt was warmth. The warmth, which wasn't at all in the fold. He shuddered and remembered how the cold had penetrated his body even more the moment the volcra's claws had dug into his face.

Then he felt the softness of the mattress beneath his back instead of the hardness of the sandy, packed soil. Further evidence proving that he was entirely somewhere else was the sound of soft footsteps and humming a few feet away from him.

He opened his eyes hesitantly and hissed, unaccustomed to the light after being unconscious for so long.

He freezes as he feels a hand on his eyes, keeping the sunlight from reaching them. Little. Soft. Alina... a thought comes to him, and he quickly laughs it off. His little sun summoner would probably rather blind him completely with her sun than protect him from more pain.

"Take it easy. You've been badly harmed." A soft female voice breaks the silence and pulls him from his thoughts about the woman who betrayed him and their kind.

He feels a strange rush of fear as he hears a female voice. Aleksander unwillingly recalls the memory of the time when he and his mother were captured by the Drüskelle. He felt like he did now. Helpless.

He was unable to move even a small distance on his own. The only difference was that no one was hanging over him with scalpels and other blades or hurling insults. But he suspected that could change very quickly...

He had to do something. He needed to get out of here somehow, but every slight movement of his muscles was accompanied by a huge wave of searing pain throughout his whole body. And for a brief moment, it occurred to him that maybe destroying the fold wasn't such a bad idea.

"Don't worry. I am not a psychopath, mad, serial killer, or anything. I'm a nurse. I saw you near the fold and took you to my house to heal you. It's a miracle you survived your encounter with the volcra. Usually, no one gets out of the fold. Certainly not on their own." The woman says, slowly removing her hand from his eyes.

He's too dazed by the light, busy taking in his surroundings and seeing her face for the first time, to notice that she's adjusting the bandages on his face and checking his wounds.

But he hisses, feeling the burning pain on his forehead as she rubs some thick, gooey liquid onto him.

"I'm sorry, but I have to. It's an ointment against infection. This should also numb you enough so that you don't feel any pain in your face. How's your back?"

He is too shocked to respond. As he takes a breath, he has a sudden coughing fit. She moves away from him. He hears her quick footsteps as she returns a moment later with a cup of water and a tissue. He spits something black out of his mouth, desperately trying to get some air. She strokes his back gently and leans him more forward, making him spit out all the black goo mixed with his saliva from his throat.

He frowns, staring at the tissue soaked in black liquid.

"Don't worry, it's absolutely normal. Every time they bring a survivor from the fold to the infirmary, something like this happens. The air is different there, and volcra tend to infect their victims. Let's just say it's some kind of poison that comes out of you. That's a good sign. As well as the fact that you woke up. Here." The woman says, taking the tissue from him and throwing it into a nearby trash can. He glances there, seeing that it is half full of black dressings and bandages. He looks back at her as she hands him a glass of water.

"What do you want?" He asks, his voice hoarse from disuse (or screaming in the fold), not taking a sip from the cup you gave him. It could be poisoned or worse.

"I... I don't understand." You say, confused by his hostile attitude.

"What do you want from me?" He repeats it again, and the commanding, demanding tone of his voice sends shivers down your spine.

"Nothing. I'm just helping." You reply with a shrug, which annoys him even more. He laughs mockingly, making you frown.

"Selflessly? To a stranger? Don't make me look like a naive idiot. Tell me right now who you are, what you want, and where we are, and you won't get hurt."

"With all due respect, I doubt you'd be able to raise your hand right now, let alone hold a gun or sword, or hit me, even if you were a soldier of the First Army." He stares at you in surprise, realising that you have no idea who he is, and maybe you really just helped him.

Could a normal person dare to speak back to the Darkling with such courage and anger in her eyes? He didn't think so. But one name comes to his mind... even though he's too hurt to think about her.

"What?" You ask him as he stares at you for a little too long.

"Nothing." He clears his throat and stares warily at the offered water. "Not many people surprise me." He explains, still not believing in your good intentions. You couldn't be so altruistic as to help a strange man who got spat out by the fold. People weren't kind or helpful to the weak, at least never towards him. That's why he always had to be stronger than others. To never become prey again.

"I see that you don't trust many either. If I pour for myself and you water from one jug and drink it first, will you consider doing the same? You need to rehydrate." You say it calmly, completely unfazed by his distrust.

For some reason, this makes him more surly towards you. Maybe this whole act on your part was just to keep his guard down until someone came for him, for example, Shu, Drüskelle, or even Alina's group of heroes. He had to get away from here. As soon as he regained full control over his aching body.

“Try to deceive me, and I will make sure to wipe out your family lineage to the last living generation.” He growls hoarsely, trying to regain at least some semblance of control in this situation.

"It's good that I'm an orphan then." You say, pouring him and yourself a glass of water and showing him that both are empty.

Another orphan... he thinks as you reach both glasses so he can choose which one he wants.

[...]

"You will leave me alone?" He ask. He can't believe that you would really leave him—a strange man you didn't know at all—in your house all alone.

"Do you need a company?" You ask mockingly, using the exact same cold tone of voice he used before. Aleksander decides he liked you much more when you were soft towards him.

"Aren't you afraid I'll rob you and run away?"

"There are only herbs, medicines, and a few books here. I have nothing so valuable that I couldn't get it on the market if you decided to take it. You can look around if you want. Although I wouldn't advise you to get up, your wounds are still fresh and barely sealed, so they don't bleed."

"Are you insane?" He can't help but ask, as you really are going out.

"All the best people are. Try not to die. It would be a waste of medicines and bandages." You say this and smile amusedly as you close the door behind you.

Aleksander blinks, surprised, as he lays in your bed. He tries to understand what has happened here, but he still has a headache and needs to get out of here.

He didn't trust you at all.

So before anyone could come and get him from you, he stood up. His legs are shaky at the beginning, but as he walks around your (tiny) cottage, he regains the ability to walk… maybe not as well as he did, but enough to move.

He looks around, just as you suggested, but he didn't find any proff that would confirm his suspicion. But it doesn't stop him from taking some pills and herbs before he leaves your house. He makes sure to take only a little—enough to get to the village or somewhere where he could find his people.

You were too kind to be robbed.

[syllvane]

a dwindling, mercurial high- nikolai lantsov x reader

“You could’ve left, with Tolya and Tamar, y’know.” Nikolai said, his words slurring ever so slightly and you looked at him amused.

You couldn’t remember the last time that you had been sober enough to remember him getting plastered.

“I know I could have, silly.”

He smiled at you and you forced yourself to look away from him, looking for anything or anyone out of place.

“Then why did you stay?”

“Someone has to keep you from getting killed.” You said, only half-joking.

It wasn’t a large celebration, only close friends and family of the soon to be monarchs invited to gathering.

Alina was on the other side of the room, nursing a glass of kvas and talking with Zoya and Genya. 

Tolya and Tamar had told Nikolai that they wouldn’t be able to attend, some business with stopping slaver ship. Mal had given no word to Alina.

Hence, the kvas.

“You have so much confidence in me.”

“More confidence than I have in most people.” You replied quickly, taking an opportunity to look at him.

His golden cheeks were flushed red with alcohol and his eyes were focused on you, looking at you like he should’ve been looking at his fiancée.

“You should go socialize with Alina and the others. People might get the wrong impression if you’re talking to the Captain of your guard all night.”

“And what impression would that be?”

That you love me. That I love you. That the most selfish parts of me want you to pick me over the entirety of Ravka.

“I don’t know, that there might be an emergency or something- Nikolai.”

He stood up and cleared his throat loudly, commanding all of the attention in the room.

“My fellow countrymen, I just want all of you to rest assured that there is no emergency going on. My good friend and head of guard thought that us having a conversation might give that impression, so calm your nerves and enjoy the drinks.”

Several chuckles went around the room and conversations slowly resumed as he sat back down, looking quite pleased with himself.

“Are you happy now?” You asked and he looked at you, a smug smile on his face.

“Very. Are you done trying to convince me to talk to other people?”

“Odd way to describe your fiancée, ‘other people’.” You retorted. 

“You could just call her Alina.”

“Or moya tsaritsa.”

He took another sip of his drink, shaking his head.

“I don’t get it, you liked Alina when you first met her, on the Volkvolny.”

You wished more than anything that Tolya and Tamar were here, or that you could at least drink.

“I do like her. You're the one who hasn’t spoken to her all night.”

“And would you rather that I go over to her and play the part of the adoring husband? That I hold her closely and whisper in her ear?” He taunted and you scoffed, looking anywhere but him. He grabbed your hand. “I’d rather be here as well.”

You looked at your intertwined hands, unable to focus on much beyond how his skin felt on yours, suddenly glad that Tolya and Tamar weren’t here, painfully aware of how fast your heart was beating.

He let go of your hand, standing up again.

“Well, friends, I think I’ve had enough revelry for tonight- please, continue to indulge yourself. As difficult as it might be, the party must go on.” He said, winking at his guests, all of whom smiled at him kindly.

He turned towards the door and started walking.

You signaled the other guards of Nikolai’s to move, glancing over the room once more to see Alina looking at you.

She smiled at you warmly and you did your best to return it, still thinking about how his skin felt on yours.

You turned around, following Nikolai out and when you and the other guards on duty arrived to his chambers, Nikolai motioned for you to follow him inside.

The doors closed.

“You’re the one that I love, you know.” He said, pouring himself another drink. You watched the liquid slosh into the glass cup, watched as he took a sip. “If that’s what marriage was about, it would be you I would marry.”

You stayed completely still.

“Nik-”

“I love you. I love you, and I’m sorry that it took so long for me to say it.”

“Why are you telling me this?” You asked miserably, and he looked at you, taking a step closer.

“Why did you stay?” He asked softly and you shook your head. “Please. It’s the last thing I’ll ever ask of you.”

You closed your eyes- you didn’t know when tears started streaming down your face.

“Because I love you.” You said as if it was the worst thing in the entire world. “I love you and as much as I hate everything about this, you’re still in my life. And I will take whatever life I can get with you.”

You opened your eyes and he looked at you sorrowfully, his hand hovering over your cheek as if to caress it, to wipe the tears away, before it dropped back to his side.

He closed his eyes and took a step away from you.

“I’m sorry.” He said, his voice barely a whisper. “I should get to sleep.”

You nodded professionally, as if tears weren’t actively streaming down your face, taking a step away from him and turning.

“Right, moy tsar. You have a big day coming up, you need all the rest you can get.” He flinched at the title- not that you noticed, facing away from him. “Have a good night.”

“You too.” He said hoarsely.

[vendetta-if]

I’m so disappointed by everyone here 😔… no one has asked who would brawling eachother to hold mcs new kid first???

Like Luka and Yvette shaking it out already in the ring, Takashi coming in with a pinning move, grandpa sneaking a way through, but WHAT IS THIS? VICTOR RISING FROM THE GRAVE TO DELIVER AN ULTIMATE SUPLEX then play with the baby right after

Nah but seriously, even a small blurb, what the reaction to Mc handing a baby over to held first by the parental figures (Luka, grandpa, takashi, etc) after parents holding them first?

Oh my God, anon 💀 Viktor would definitely rise from the grave to hold his grandkid(s) if he could 😭

In an AU where Viktor is still alive, then no questions, Viktor would be the first one to hold the baby. But in the current story where he’s dead, I can see Grandpa trying to exert his authority and seniority to be the one to hold the baby first, and Luka and Takashi (if you romance Rin, ofc) would let him because they respect and fear him.

But after grandpa, it’s fair game between Luka, Takashi, and Yvette 😂 Well, Luka and Takashi might not even let Yvette visit/come before either of them can hold the baby, but Yvette can still resort to dirty tactics and disguise herself as a nurse or something.

Meanwhile, Luka distracts Takashi for a second and when Takashi turns back, Luka’s already gone in a blink of an eye.

But here are little reactions on each of them when they hold the baby for the first time 🥲 I’ll also include Viktor’s, Cara’s, and Grandma’s reactions just because I wanna see them happy I’ll also assume that for Takashi and Azami, it is MC’s child with Rin.

Viktor

He is overwhelmed with a mix of so many emotions that his eyes water as he holds MC’s little baby in his arms tenderly. It reminds him of the time he first held baby MC in his arms decades ago, only this time, the occasion is more joyous with no tinge of bittersweetness. He has a grandchild now!

He decides to do what he did to baby MC not long after he first held them; he brings the baby up to his face and rubs his nose to the baby’s affectionately, laughing happily.

Grandpa

He accepts the baby from MC, holding them in his hands as gently as he can. And still, he’s afraid that he might accidentally hurt or make the baby uncomfortable.

It doesn’t take long for his muscle memory to kick in and he holds the baby in a more comfortable position; the same way that he held Viktor and Luka when they were born. He still remembers fondly how Alina had to correct his arms and pose and joked about how stiff he was.

It was a shame that she nor he was not there to hold MC when they were first born, but he’s glad that he still manage to be alive and doesn’t miss his first great-grandchild’s birth.

Luka

He holds the baby awkwardly in his hands. He has never holds a baby before! And it’s harder than he first expected. What if he accidentally hurt them? They look so… fragile it kinda makes him nervous.

But after a short crash course on baby-holding from either MC or Takashi, he’s now far more comfortable in holding his very first… grand-nibling? Is that even a term?

He can’t hold back the smile on his face as he grips the baby’s little, chubby, hand softly and gives it a handshake.

Takashi

He laughs boisterously as he takes his very first grandchild in his hands, lifting them up high, which causes Rin to scold him. He bounces the baby gently instead while telling Rin that he did the same to them when they were a baby and that Azami’s reaction is exactly the same as theirs.

Yvette

She approaches MC nervously, not really knowing what to say during this precious moment. She doesn’t really expect MC to let her hold their baby. She’s already happy enough to be let in here and see her child and very first grandchild.

So, it is no surprise thar she is flabbergasted when MC gives her the offer, but she quickly accepts. Just like Luka, she is awkward when holding the baby since she has never held a baby before, but still, she is hit with an indescribable emotion that she has never felt before.

She knows this time, she won’t repeat the mistakes she did to MC and Viktor. She was not there for MC, but she is determined to not squander this second chance that she has been given and she will try her best to be the best grandma.

Grandma

She makes sure to put on her softest gloves before holding the baby. As a cryokinetic, her hands are always cold, and she doesn’t want to cause any discomfort to her little great-grandchild.

As soon as she holds them in her arms, her usual stoic and cold demeanour melts instantly and she smiles affectionately as she taps the baby’s nose and coos softly in Russian.

Cara

She squeals as she takes the baby in her hands, commenting on how cute they are. She immediately tries to entertain them until Ash tells her to quiet down a bit.

She then starts to tell some (embarrassing) Ash baby stories, giving MC and Ash advice and stuff, before promising that she would undoubtedly be the best grand-aunt to MC’s child (despite her being the only grand-aunt around). Or, if the child is MC’s and Ash’s, she would be the best grandma ever!

Azami

She smiles as she takes the baby in her arms and as she rocking them from side to side gently, she hums a soft tune affectionately and lulls them to sleep, patting and stroking the baby’s back soothingly. She would offer to watch over the baby for a while so Rin and MC can get some rest if needed.

[stromuprisahat]

You know how girls will disappear for months and give a bunch of hokey as the reason when they're actually having a baby

The rumour mill after Alina suddenly went on an amplifier hunt after like 3 months of training when other Grisha trained for years must have been crazy

And I'm pretty sure half of the Little Palace was already certain she and Aleksander are fucking.

“And what about her?” cried another Squaller. “How do we know she isn’t working with the Darkling? She helped him destroy Novokribirsk.” “And she shared his bed!” shouted another. Never deign to deny, said Nikolai’s voice in my head. “Just what is your relationship with Nikolai Lantsov?” demanded a Fabrikator. “What was your relationship with the Darkling?” came a shrill voice.

Siege and Storm Chapter 13

It's pretty obvious when you look at it. Especially Alina's Fete outfit screams MISTRESS! Even before that, all signs are there:

Dinner seemed to last forever. I nursed a glass of tea and endured another round of endless Summoner chatter. I was getting ready to excuse myself and escape back to my room when the doors behind the Darkling’s table opened and the domed hall fell silent. Ivan emerged and sauntered over to the Summoners’ table, seemingly oblivious to the stares of the other Grisha. With a sinking sensation, I realized he was walking straight toward me. “Come with me, Starkov,” he said when he reached us, then added a mocking “please.” I pushed my chair back and rose on legs that felt suddenly weak. Had Baghra told the Darkling that I was hopeless? Had Botkin told him just how badly I’d failed at my lessons? The Grisha were goggling at me. Nadia’s jaw was actually hanging open. I followed Ivan across the silent hall and through the huge ebony doors. He led me down a hallway and through another door emblazoned with the Darkling’s symbol. ...

Shadow and Bone Chapter 9

“Why did she do it?” I asked as I tried to sit up. I’d had plenty of people ignore me or look down on me. But Zoya actually seemed to hate me. Marie and Nadia gaped at me as if I’d taken a crack to the skull instead of the ribs. “Because she’s jealous!” said Nadia. “Of me?” I said incredulously. Marie rolled her eyes. “She can’t bear the idea of anyone being the Darkling’s favorite.”

Shadow and Bone Chapter 11

Since none of the other Grisha knew that I’d had so much trouble summoning, they were all a little baffled by the change in me. I didn’t offer any explanations, and Genya let me in on some of the more hilarious rumors. “Marie and Ivo were speculating that the Fjerdans had infected you with some disease.” “I thought Grisha didn’t get sick.” “Exactly!” she said. “That’s why it was so very sinister. But apparently the Darkling cured you by feeding you his own blood and an extract of diamonds.” “That’s disgusting,” I said, laughing. “Oh that’s nothing. Zoya actually tried to put it around that you were possessed.”

Shadow and Bone Chapter 13

Genya squeaked, and I just stood there gaping at the contents. When I didn’t move, she reached into the box and pulled out yards of rippling black silk. The sleeves and neckline were delicately embroidered in gold and glittered with tiny jet beads. “Black,” Genya whispered. His color. What did it mean? “Look!” she gasped. The neckline of the gown was laced with a black velvet ribbon, and from it hung a small golden charm: the sun in eclipse, the Darkling’s symbol. ... “Excuse us!” announced Genya. “But we have need of this chamber. Darkling’s orders!” Zoya’s beautiful blue eyes slitted dangerously. “If you think—” she began and then she caught sight of me. Her jaw dropped, and the blood drained from her face. “Out!” commanded Genya. Zoya snapped her mouth shut, but to my amazement, she left the room without another word. Genya slammed the door behind her. ... The sad, sickly girl with hollowed-out cheeks and bony shoulders was gone. In her place was a Grisha with sparkling eyes and shimmering waves of bronze hair. The black silk clung to my new form, shifting and sliding like sewn-together shadows. And Genya had done something marvelous to my eyes so that they looked dark and almost catlike. ... In the other boxes on my bed, we found golden silk slippers, glittering jet and gold earrings, and a thick fur muff. When I was ready, I examined myself in the little mirror above the basin. I felt exotic and mysterious, like I was wearing some other, far more glamorous girl’s clothes.

Shadow and Bone Chapter 14

Sure, the reader knows Alina didn't summon, but other Grisha don't. ... and when a girl suddenly radically changes her behaviour, while gaining a shape, EVERYONE knows she's the boss' new favourite AND they sneak off somewhere TOGETHER...

... and once Alina returns, the sickly, frail girl is back:

When we finally pulled up to the immense black silk tent, a crowd of Grisha swarmed around the coach. Marie and Ivo and Sergei rushed forward to greet me. I was surprised at how good it felt to see them again. As they caught sight of me, their excitement vanished, replaced by worry and concern. They’d expected a triumphant Sun Summoner, wearing the greatest amplifier ever known, radiant with power and the favor of the Darkling. Instead, they saw a pale, tired girl, broken by misery. “Are you all right?” Marie whispered when she hugged me. “Yes,” I promised. “Just worn out from the journey.” I did my best to smile convincingly and reassure them. I tried to feign enthusiasm as they marveled at Morozova’s collar and reached out to touch it.

Shadow and Bone Chapter 20

I don't know how other Grisha, but I'd suspect some tragedy.

Miscarriage?

Stillbirth?

If Grisha can have hard time conceiving, how likely is it those won't be unusual either?!

[1920sitgirl]

Albina Mali-Hočevar, born in Vinica on the 25th of September 1925 Albina was a Slovenian resistance fighter who fought for the liberation of Yugoslavia during World War Two (photo c1945)

After Germany invaded Yugoslavia in 1941 Albina joined the people’s liberation movement at just 16, though she was originally chosen to be a nurse Albina fought in multiple battles, she ended up wounded twice when she was 17 and went on to be wounded again three days after her 18th birthday because of a exploding mine. Albina continued fighting and working till the end of the war as a nurse (suspected to have even worked as a flying nurse) and lived until she was 75yrs old.

Some years later she was recognised for her bravery and was awarded the Yugoslavian Order of the partisan star, 3rd class.

Said in accounts of Albina while she worked as a nurse:

"The nurse Alina always paid more attention to the wounded than to herself"

"She knew neither fear nor exhaustion while there were wounded [partisans] to be taken care of”

[chairteeth]

“Nemu Hiiragi: The Shadow”

The promised Magius Nemu essay arrives. I have given up on proper essay formatting and will simply leave my analyses in semi-rant form because my brain is too chaotic and goes on too many tangents. It cannot be tamed. Informal essay under the cut!

So. I’m sure I’m not the only one who has heard others refer to Nemu as a shadow, Touka 2.0, or some other frankly reductive term. Most of the time, unless her creations come up, she’s not discussed at all, and even then… barely. That’s not exactly surprising. Given Nemu’s normally calm demeanor, and the fact that she and Touka are joined at the hip, it’s only natural that Touka would be the one to get the most attention, the one who stands out. Where Touka is the boisterous sun, Nemu is the humble moon. Today, we turn our eyes to the moon.

There is so much to talk about when it comes to Magius Nemu and pretty much all of it is going to make you really sad. Much like Touka and all other magical girls, she led a double life the entire time, but in her case, when she “traded one terminal illness for another” she got the short end of the stick. Imagine being a writer and discovering that your magic allows you to give physical form to your stories, to breathe life into your creations—literally. Now picture finding out later down the line that each time you use it, it consumes so much magic that it shaves off pieces of your very life force. That’s one slap in the face. But, it gets worse.

Let me lay out everything we know about how Magius Nemu’s sacrifices affected her physically, and how each of the people around her responded to her worsening condition. First, we know it causes pain severe enough to temporarily affect her vision and speech, and severe enough to make her fall to the ground, though she doesn’t always faint from it. We know it inflicts exhaustion and that even something like releasing an uwasa for the first time can make her pass out on the spot, so presumably it’s a lengthy process that takes a toll on her at every stage (well not sure about conceptualization, but creation and release definitely do). A voiced example of one of these episodes is in Arc 1 Chapter 8, 4:02:36 - 4:03:43 if you're watching the video.

Now, as for the people around Nemu, starting from more distant to closest. Her family? Oblivious, responsible for her state of emotional deprivation and for several other issues. Alina? Ehh she seems to either not care or care very little, which is properly Alina-esque of her. Mifuyu? Oh let me talk about MIFUYU for a second. Disclaimer, despite her many sins committed against my favorite characters, I do love the sheep, she’s too much of a failure, I cannot hate her. But Mifuyu “I want to be a nurse” Azusa is insensitive beyond belief, and I was honestly surprised when they appointed her to be some sort of… ethics teacher for Touka? Bruh. You see, an MGS is supposed to put us in the shoes of whatever character it’s about. That’s what it does. However my brain is broken and perceives the world from a TouNemu perspective by default. Which means I had a completely different reading of Mifuyu’s MGS. I am going to illustrate my point with screenshots this time because I happen to have them on hand.

Mifuyu says this about Touka and Nemu getting worked up over Alina wanting to prioritize witches above rumors. But. Here’s the thing. The thing that Mifuyu seems to be missing completely. Rumors are created by Nemu, through a sacrifice of her own life force that worsens her pain and makes her suffer more with each subsequent use. Evidently, the girls reply that no, they don’t think they were getting too emotional.

YOU THINK? Have you given any thought to why that could possibly be the case, Mifuyu? But, okay, fine, we can look past this. Alright. Next scene, it’s Touka and Nemu being upset that Yachiyo just destroyed the Divorce Stairs (I call them that, but for clarification, it’s the Friendship-Ending Staircase). I’m going to bring something up that I don’t believe is exactly contradicted by canon, though not confirmed either, but I’d be willing to believe by the fact that Nemu knows of Iroha (by name and I assume appearance) that there’s a psychic link of some kind between the uwasa and their creator. That would make sense, considering they are made of her magic and have pieces of her life force. If this is true, then that massacre Iroha and Yachiyo go on during Arc 1 Chapter 7 is far, far worse.

But alright, back to the scene. Touka is standing up for Nemu here, and Mifuyu proceeds to go and dismiss their feelings because, as she says in her thoughts, “they’re just children”. Okay, Mifuyu, hear me out. They’re 11-12. They’re not toddlers. Just because they’re children doesn’t make their emotions invalid, unimportant, or not worth considering. Particularly in this case, where they have a good reason to be upset. Nemu even mentions the life force she’s using up and Mifuyu’s first and only thought is “Yacchan…” (this is a repeating pattern).

The next relevant scene is one where Mifuyu does something Alina has also done and Touka hasn't: ask Nemu to make a rumor for her.

Nemu reminds her that it comes at a cost, and that she’s using up her life for this. Nemu gives in, of course. I will talk about this imminently. First though, the final scene of Mifuyu’s MGS. Where Mifuyu repeats the previous pattern but worse. How exactly is it worse? I’ll let the screenshots speak for themselves here. Nemu and Mifuyu meet at the shrine where the uwasa is going to be released, Nemu does the deed, and faints, then Mifuyu reacts like this:

These screenshots are less than a second apart. It is the immediate follow-up. Absolutely zero concern for one of the people she’s supposed to be responsible for who just did her a pretty big favor (as if you needed someone’s blood to open a door, they stabbed themselves to get you the blood, and then you left them on the ground in pain). So yes Mifuyu is insensitive and she is not helping Nemu’s view of adults. Relatedly, before I move to talking about Touka, since I’d like to actually end this on a non-depressing note, I’m going to circle back a little to Nemu’s family.

I am infamous for not liking Nemu’s family. Her parents, mainly. Her brother, for as much of a snotty brat as he is to her, is presumably still very tiny and has had scarce interactions with his sister, therefore leading to the way Nemu describes their relationship (“strangers”). As a slight aside, Nemu does try very hard to have a relationship with her brother, not only in her MGS, but in her solo Christmas quotes where she’s lost on what to get as a gift for a kid that likes soccer and asks Homescreen-chan for advice. And you see, Nemu has this thing where once you get past a certain point with her, she becomes a people pleaser. Unlike when Ui’s parents have visited before (seen in TouNemu’s Christmas MGS), Nemu was shocked to hear that her mother and brother had come to see her. This leads me to believe the visits are an extremely rare occurrence and that there is no other contact besides them. Ui’s parents at least video call her, from what the quotes say.

And now we have reached the point where it’s unavoidable and I have to talk about Nemu’s emotional trauma. Her family does not seem to know about her writing, which was a good call because it shielded her from much of the gifted kid trauma. However, that doesn’t mean her parents’ actions (or lack thereof) were without consequence. A lot of these might be subconscious, so bear with me a second. At this point in the timeline, Nemu struggles to believe that others will meet her needs or care for her. She seeks affirmation, acceptance, approval, and fortunately seems to get it in the form of her website and Touka during this era.

Let me give you some examples of Nemu’s people-pleasing tendencies, as any kid would learn that catering to the needs and desires of others can sometimes lead to a sense of belonging or validation—she explicitly wants that, she is aware that she wants to feel loved. This is immensely obvious with her family’s visits, where her first reaction isn’t good but then she plays along and puts up a happier face (which drops literally as soon as her mother and brother are out of the room), even apologizing for the slightest inconvenience regardless of whether or not the reaction to that inconvenience was bad (the book that was hard to find, the general Presence™ of her family in the room, apologizes again for talking about her feelings, etc). So that she doesn’t have to burden them with her feelings. So that her mother can feel like she’s fulfilled her duty by walking into the room, giving Nemu a rundown of what the family has been up to, and leaving without really actually spending any real quality time with her or bothering to really ask about her. Touka gets (righteously) angry in Nemu’s stead once her mother and brother have left precisely because of this. Nemu proceeds to, like many children in her position, defend her parents completely and then chastise herself for “looking down on them”. Touka and Ui both understand at least the heart of the issues at play here, and express as much. My point here isn’t exactly “Nemu’s parents are equivalent to Sana’s” or anything, it’s more that they’re extremely oblivious and their actions (and lack thereof) have hurt Nemu deeply.

That habit Nemu’s parents have of never truly showing interest in their daughter’s life seems to remain after the hospital, and then they’re focused on her brother’s comfort. Not Nemu’s. Never Nemu’s. Then, later on, in the Wings of the Magius, every time someone asks her to make a rumor (read: sacrifice a piece of her life force and make herself feel physically worse presumably forever), she agrees. Mifuyu asks her to, yeah sure. Alina wants a rumor? Of course. I won’t count when everyone asked her for stuff to add to Fendt Hope solely because I’m not sure Fendt Hope works like normal rumors do. Something, something, difficulty setting and maintaining healthy boundaries, struggling to distinguish her own needs from the needs of others…

A child who learned that her voice and desires were not prioritized in such critical stages of her life naturally struggles to articulate her own needs and wants. Prime example, Fendt Hope’s creation. She listens to the others give their ideas for it, never suggesting anything herself after reminding them of her usefulness. Until. Touka asks. When she does, Nemu seems almost taken aback. She apologizes. Nothing comes to mind. That very same day, she gets home, tries again to have some sort of positive interaction or time with her brother, gets rejected. As soon as an alternative form of service (doing the dishes for her exhausted mother so that she may help her brother with homework) presents itself, she practically jumps at the opportunity. The scene after that one, with the way she views Touka, Alina, and Mifuyu, vs the way she views her mother and brother, only makes this more obvious. How is Nemu supposed to feel any sense of value at home? At least as a magical girl, she’s useful. At least as a Magius, she has people who know her. The feelings of low self-worth aren’t as obvious on Nemu as they are on many of the other girls who have them, though.

The next time there’s a Magius meeting, this time to decide on a name for their base, Touka is again the one who asks Nemu for her opinion. It’s important to note that Touka is never once hostile, aggressive, or even annoyed when she does this. She considers Nemu’s thoughts and feelings more than anyone. Heck, Nemu would have no way to doubt Touka’s care for her considering their history and the way she acts.

Now I get to talk about the relationship between Magius Nemu and Magius Touka. If I start gushing incoherently, I apologize in advance. I covered a bit of Magius Touka’s attitude towards Nemu in the essay dedicated to her, and slightly in this one, but now I want to draw attention to how incredibly sweet Touka can be when it comes to Nemu. Nemu desperately needs that reliability and that love Touka provides, the hope she brings. And Touka is the one person who openly shows her care, attention. Over and over again.

Touka considers Nemu an equal. During the main story, as I said in my Magius Touka essay, she shows concern for Nemu’s health and wellbeing when no one else does. This goes beyond her magic-given affliction! I only wish we had more bits and pieces from that era, but as for what we do have… Well, I have to point at Nemu’s swimsuit costume story for the easiest and shortest point of reference. I’d use screenshots, but if I did, I would just end up showing you every single piece of dialogue and expression.

In that costume story, Touka and Nemu are at Fendt Hope, talking about their future trip to the beach (which they made plans for together in Touka’s swimsuit costume story). Nemu has her insecurities, and she’s shy about putting on the swimsuit, but then Touka proceeds to be incredibly supportive by first making her feel comfortable—for some reason she also had her own swimsuit lying around and offered to wear it too because Nemu mentioned it’d be embarrassing if she was the only one wearing a swimsuit and Touka was wearing clothes—then as soon as Nemu expresses self-doubt, she doubles down via genuine compliments (these two compliment each other way more than you think, even in main story Touka praises Nemu for her ideas). This is also a rare occasion where we’re shown that Nemu’s parents, or her mom at least, who seems more present than her dad, mean no harm, since it was Nemu’s mother who helped pick out every element of her swimsuit. After that, Touka goes off to change back into her school uniform, and Nemu is “uncharacteristically giddy” (as she states) looking at herself in the mirror. Touka gets back, and Nemu is startled to have been caught in a vulnerable state, but, critically, Touka is happy to see her happy and doesn’t tease her, although Nemu (jokingly, blushing) laments that letting Touka read her heart is the greatest failure of her life. Nemu asks Touka to listen. And Touka complies. Nemu trusts Touka with her heart, with her honest feelings, and knows Touka will never hurt her. That’s why she’s able to be so sincere with her. This is shown in Nemu’s Tap 8 quote, where she also refers to Touka as trustworthy (Touka has a matching Tap 8 quote, and hers is about how reliable Nemu is for her). This relationship, no matter what it is, is deeply important to both participants.

Finally, to end this glorified rant… I know I used the sun and moon metaphor earlier, but. I would like to borrow the words of Nemu in one of my fics: “It’s silent at night. Touka stays up with her telescope, I stay up reading nearby. We are stardust brought to life. A quiet place, just for us. The gentlest fire in us, like binary stars.” (I’m sorry but the binary stars comparison is too good not to mention). Their connection was there before the Magius, and after everything they went through, their lives became irreversibly bound, intertwined beyond the understanding of quite literally anyone else. They practically always speak in plural, the time they spend together has been on the rise, and at the time of writing? To avoid spoiling Arc 2 Chapter 12, I won’t go into specifics, but the relationship has reached a beautiful point that I will froth at the mouth about eventually.

Anyway, hope you enjoyed the Nemu essay, I went slightly more feral this time so apologies for that. I’ll see how soon the hospital era essay can be thrown into the wild. Nishi out!

[greensaplinggrace]

canon divergent au where mal gets kidnapped like in the show and the darkling accidentally fucking saves him and then when alina tries to manipulate him through the mind bond she's like why tf are you nursing my boyfriend back to health

[liaa--qb]

Your take on darklinas is 100% correct. Saw so many darklinas in team black stans and they were shitting on Aegon and Aemond. How can someone like Darkling if they like Rhaenyra as if Darkling wasn't far worse for girls than Aegon. Yes they type whole big paragraph about Daemon did nothing wrong and he never groomed anyone. I am not fan of alysmond but I assure you I don't find them more problematic than Daemyra, Rhaenicent. They said Aemond killed Alys's entire family but I don't think she ever gave fuck about her family.

Iol😂 Ik that btw n firstly let me tell u that in book Alys didn't give a single shit about whatever family that was.That wasn't even her family !

That was house strong who was keeping her only as wet nurse servant just bcz she was a strong bastard herself if talk about book only. She wasn't any princess there😭. Wtf TB Stans think while making these bullshits which wasn't in the book. Atleast should make something sensible.

I already told that dere relationship was not any romantic which some Alysmond Stans want it to be. It was just kind of toxic profit n gain relationship bet them. But she was only with Aemond for her profit n survival. She clearly gets pregnant with his child. Most logical reason is only that she would also hold the power in throne. That's it.

Alys was a witch who killed a man just in secs...do u really think that she would make herself as a crying hostage to a 18 yrs old boy😭. She would have killed Aemond easily if she wanted to right there while slaughtering whole house strong but she didn't bcz she would easily get profit from removing every other man from her strong family. Whole wealth indirectly goes to her or larys.

TB be saying anything rubbish as we don't even get much about her in book. She was neither team Black or team green. Now what tv series would do about her ? I can't say that......but Ofcourse they would say thousand non sense reasons on daemon which even GRRM would die on hearing.😹

N about Darklina stans🤦🏻‍♀️...they r really stupid. Their whole ship is extremely problematic. Even alysmond or every ship from hotd itself is less problematic than darklina honestly 😂.

Darkling literally abused n harmed Alina physically and he gave small girls to get r*ped by King for his own need🤢

n the audacity those idiots have to say anything about any ship way less problematic than them. It's funny when Darkling Stans would say they like Rhaenyra. Even Aegon was less harmful than him like bitch.. be fr😂which drug u guys r taking

I don't hate or not any anti Darklina. I don't even like that book. It's so fucking boring😭.Ship is very much ok. Like you can ship the fuck u want. I used to ship it too but if u r liking a problematic ship urself then u should better keep ur mouth shut about any other ships. They are embarrassing sometimes

(Believe me only thing I shipped it because they have that light and dark dynamic, if it wasn't about that. I would have never shipped them either. Plus Ben Barnes was the reason I went to watch that show 😑)

As I said they can't even like their favourites as they are🤷🏻‍♀️ so don't take them seriously. I am waiting for that clown show when they are going to say Daeron is a r@pist while writing big stupid paragraphs on ' how Maegor was correct'. U can see that very soon.

[grantmentis]

I have no idea who to cheer for in the new league. I loved the Boston Pride but I cannot bring myself to root for the new Boston team right now because of their captain. My NHL team isn't close enough to any of the teams for me to have any geographical reason to follow.

If you had one reason to follow any of the teams, what would it be? Like if someone said "why should I root for this team?" what would you tell them to try to sell them on it?

I might break the one reason thing a little bit my apologies in advance but I’ll keep it brief!

PWHL New York - they’re underdogs and the most blank slate team, not having many nearby college programs. Very fast team with a lot of snipers. Their defense is very fun because it’s all players 26 and younger and then 33 year old SDHL legend Johanna Fällman who made the team out of camp who I think will really be an anchor on a d core with a lot of players who have no/little pro experience. I think this team is also the meanest team (affectionate) if you love some grit. And of course, Corinne Schroeder.

PWHL Minnesota - team for if you like to see prospects turn into stars (or continue to be stars Lol.) As the only Midwest team at the moment I think they’ll have the most foster consistency In the first few years if that is important to you even for players on one year deals. So many players like buchbinder, heise, zumwinkle who’ve been deservedly hyped and performed well in college/internationally making their debut and Minnesota will likely have an advantage getting some of those WCHA players even with the draft. If you’re big into college hockey, this should be your pick.

PWHL Ottawa - if you’re a fan of the global game, this is the team for you. Germany, Japan, Hungary, czechia all represented on this team. With all due respect to Jenner who is fantastic, this will probably heavily be a scoring by committee team and I think has the most balanced forward group in terms of most lines will probably be interchangeable which is something I find very fun. Lexie adzija also is very funny on tiktok

PWHL Toronto - if you’re a big team Canada fan, this is the team for you. Besides having the gm and coaches who were in charge of team Canada, all but two players on their team are Canadian and most have spent some time on either the junior or senior national team. If you’re big into puck moving defenders with good stick handling skills, this team has a lot of them between Flanagan / poulin-labelle / larocque / munroe. This may also be the best dressed team between nurse / Jackson / Flanagan / maltais

PWHL Montreal - if you’re a big analytics nerd and love crazy forechecking and two way forwards, this team is for you. This team is full of beloved veterans and I think both them and Ottawa have a lot of former phf players. Dominika lásková on top of being elite is a bundle of joy

PWHL Boston - I know you said you’re unlikely to root for them but I’ll include em anyway. I’ll admit this is the team that I have the hardest time grasping the identity of, despite all the talent on the roster, but they do look like a team that’s posed to be very consistent throughout the year with some of the best goaltending in the league. That said, my reason for watching them is going to deviate from my other teams. Alina Müller Is a reason to watch on her own, imo, she is the most exciting player in the league and every time she touches the ice is much watch tv.

[toofunktastic]

Here’s a dump of things I’ve gifted elsewhere but haven’t gifted here yet

Six - Second US National Tour (Boleyn)

April 2, 2023 - madeapactwithsatan

Matinée

Cast:

Gerianne Pérez (Catherine of Aragon), Zan Berube (Anne Boleyn), Alina Faye (Jane Seymour), Cecilia Snow (s/b Anna of Cleves), Aline Mayagoitia (Katherine Howard), Sydney Parra (Catherine Parr)

Notes:

Never to be posted on any form of social media including, but not limited to, YouTube/Instagram/TikTok

https://mega.nz/folder/7kUDAJSJ#6nS_R4lKk9AZNfbXmbOsrQ

Six - Second US National Tour (Boleyn)

April 5, 2023 - madeapactwithsatan

Cast:

Gerianne Pérez (Catherine of Aragon), Zan Berube (Anne Boleyn), Amina Faye (Jane Seymour), Terica Marie (Anna of Cleves), Aline Mayagoitia (Katherine Howard), Sydney Parra (Catherine Parr)

Notes:

Includes BCEFA speech. Recorded from front row. Dropped my phone right after Heart of Stone, but I picked it up before anything major happened. Never to be posted on any social media including, but not limited to, YouTube, Instagram and TikTok.

https://mega.nz/folder/Th0ghSQa#pYEP5D2mEqM_Y5UU4SZ0qw

Ain't Too Proud - The Life and Times of the Temptations

US National Tour

January 17, 2024 mat

Madeapactwithsatan's master

Cast:

**Jeremy Kelsey (u/s Otis Williams)**, E. Clayton Cornelious (Paul Williams), Harrell Holmes Jr. (Melvin Franklin), Jalen Harris (Eddie Kendricks), Elijah Ahmad Lewis (David Ruffin), **Treston J. Henderson (u/s Dennis Edwards)**, Felander (Lamont), **Brian C. Binion (u/s Berry Gordy)**, Ryan M. Hunt (Shelly Berger), Tiffany Francès (Josephine), Devin Holloway (Smokey Robinson/Slick Talk Fella/Damon Harris), Devin Price (Al Bryant/Norman Whitfield), **Nazarria Workman (u/s Diana Ross)**, Shayla Brielle G. (Mama Rose/Florence Ballard/Tammi Terrell), Brittny Smith (Johnnie Mae/Mary Wilson), Devin Holloway ("Gloria" Soloist/Interviewer/Delivery Man/Richard Street)

Notes: Amazing cast for this show. However it is a jukebox musical and thus has the normal issue of singing along, talking, phones ringing (and maybe even me sighing and saying to shut up). Gift upon request, but do not post any form of social media.

https://mega.nz/folder/r88XBRaB#sYHUFtMg8v4hcv1nNF-_iA

Mrs. Doubtfire - First US National Tour

February 10, 2024 matinée

madeapactwithsatan's master

Cast:

Rob McClure (Daniel Hillard), Maggie Lakis (Miranda Hillard), Giselle Gutierrez (Lydia Hillard), Cody Braverman (Christopher Hillard), Emerson Mae Chan (Natalie Hillard), Aaron Kaburick (Frank Hillard), Marquez Linder (u/s Andre Mayem), Romelda Teron Benjamin (Wanda Sellner), Leo Roberts (Stuart Dunmire), David Hibbard (Mr. Jolly/Judge), Jodi Kimura (Janet Lundy)

Notes:

This is a show I saw. Gift upon request. Do not post anywhere on any social media.

https://mega.nz/folder/Xl1BwQQY#BVT-MB9tf-ouXzrV49ebTQ

Waitress - Broadway Remount

September 16, 2021 - madeapactwithsatan

Cast:

Sara Bareilles (Jenna), Charity Angel Dawson (Becky), Caitlin Houlahan (Dawn), Drew Gehling (Dr. Pomatter), Joe Tippett (Earl), Dakin Matthews (Joe), Eric Anderson (Cal), Christopher Fitzgerald (Ogie), Nora Lincoln Weiner (Lulu), Tyrone Davis Jr., Matt DeAngelis, Henry Gottfried, Molly Jobe, Max Kumangai, Anastacia McCleskey, Stephanie Torns, Nyla Watson

Notes:

Very responsive crowd.

https://mega.nz/folder/fks0EAxR#zP0Yvhqp0Z5sK0jhueYrnw

Waitress - First US National Tour

February 13, 2018 - madeapactwithsatan

Cast:

Desi Oakley (Jenna), Charity Angél Dawson (Becky), Emily Koch (u/s Dawn), Bryan Fenkart (Dr. Pomatter), Jeremy Morse (Ogie), Ryan G Dunkin (Cal), Larry Marshall (Joe), Nick Bailey (Earl), Maiesha McQueen (Nurse Norma), Kimberly Tobin (Lulu), Kyra Kennedy (Francine Pomatter), Grace Stockdale (Mother), Jim Hogan (Father)

Notes:

Emily's third show as Dawn.

https://mega.nz/folder/r0Vl3TTL#pBQPDf9g5QGc3AXu_W6efQ

Waitress - Second US National Tour

March 29, 2022 - madeapactwithsatan

Cast:

Jisel Soleil Ayon (Jenna), Dominique Kent (Becky), Gabriella Marzetta (Dawn), David Socolar (Dr. Pomatter), Brian Lundy (Ogie), Andrew Burton Kelley (u/s Cal), Shawn W. Smith (Earl), Michael R. Douglass (Joe), Dayna Marie Quincy (Nurse Norma), Stephanie Feeback (Francine Pomatter), Olivia London (Mother), Woody White (Father), Elvie Ellis (Ensemble), Jake McCready (Ensemble), Zoë Brooke Reed (Ensemble)

https://mega.nz/folder/GpEwSJTC#giJ1UwBntSOxlshQ-DeOlg

Frozen

March 29, 2024

First US National Tour

madeapactwithsatan’s master

Caroline Bowman (Elsa), Lauren Nicole Chapman (Anna), Jeremy Davis (Olaf), Dominic Dorset (Kristoff), Preston Perez (Hans), Dan Plehal (Sven), Evan Duff (Weselton), Savannah Lumar (Young Elsa), Emma Origenes (Young Anna), Katie Mariko Murray (Queen Iduna), Kyle Lamar Mitchell (King Agnarr), Tyler Jimenez (Pabbie), Renée Reid (Bulda), Jack Brewer (Oaken)

Notes: It’s frozen so obviously there are a couple of kids talking, but otherwise not too much disruption. Includes BC/EFA speech. Gift upon request, but do not put on any form of social media.

https://mega.nz/folder/2hdRALbY#EuDCQU-2J5TCmVsxUg9yKQ

[witchthewriter]

@perseephoneee.

Hello! Thank you for doing the ship game; I'm just going to tell you that not everything will be canon - the characters are, but I mean what's happened in the shows/movies. Not too much, but I just wanted to write this for you. Hope you enjoy xx

𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐕𝐄𝐋

𝑫𝒆𝒔𝒄𝒓𝒊𝒑𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏

𝐈 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐌𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐰 𝐌𝐮𝐫𝐝𝐨𝐜𝐤 𝐚𝐤𝐚 𝐃𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐝𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐥! I think he would be a great partner for you, honestly. He juggles being serious, being kind, having passion for justice and also not wanting to actually kill anyone. I think you would feel very safe around him, especially if you knew how well he can take care of himself and you.

𝑺𝒑𝒆𝒄𝒊𝒆𝒔

It took you a while to open up to Matthew about who you really were. He sensed it ages before, but let you take the time you needed.

A mutant of sorts, not born with your power but experimented on by those you thought cared about you.

You look human for the most part - well, you are human technically. But also, you're technically ... not.

𝑷𝒐𝒘𝒆𝒓/𝑨𝒃𝒊𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒚

You're called the Truth-Bringer. Infamous in the world of magic, science and other worlds. You can make people tell the truth. It's not 'persuade,' maybe you can use the word 'enchant,' but when it comes down to it, you can make anyone tell you the true answer to any question.

But what you've kept hidden is that you can see their memories; from their childhood to the day before.

𝑯𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒄𝒂𝒏𝒐𝒏𝒔

When you revealed yourself to Matthew, you promised not to use it on him. You don't use it on those you don't deem a threat. He appreciated that, but trusted you not to anyway.

Goes all out for dates; he loves romancing you, making you feel like the only girl in the world. He wants you to feel like you're loved, cherished.

He has your favourite things memorised; coffee order, favourite flavour, colour, smell etc.

It took a long time for Matt to open up to you about who he really is, and what he really does.

It made you a bit mad because you told him a lot earlier on in the relationship, thinking it was going to be a deal breaker. But he didn't want to make you feel like you needed to team up with him, or do something good with your powers (that's if, if you don't).

You've learnt how to sew up stitches and patch up wounds because of Matt. You've basically become a nurse after looking after him.

𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒎𝒆 𝑺𝒐𝒏𝒈

Eysium by Hans Zimmer

Underground by Cody Fry

Her Name Is Alina Starkov by Joseph Trapanese

𝑹𝒆𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒆𝒔

"Give me attention." (Matthew) x "If the world knew you were like this, they'd be shocked." (You)

I Don’t Know What I’m Doing But At Least I’m Alive, Right? (Matthew) x You’re Doing Great, Sweetie (You)

Snarky Power Couple That Can, And Probably Will, Destroy You

𝑷𝒍𝒐𝒕 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒆

Second Chance at Love

Slow-Burn Romance

Rescue Romance

𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒊𝒓 𝒇𝒂𝒗𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖

Your empathy and compassion. Matt knows you're bold, he knows you're brave but he loves your empathy, he loves how you care about people. It's a low commodity in this world. Especially those that have power - they let it get to their head. But not you.

𝒀𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒃𝒆𝒔𝒕 𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅

Kate Bishop most definitely. You two would be two peas in a pod. You'd be the voice of reason with Kate, who would be as chaotic as a kid who just drank a can of coke in 30 seconds.

𝑾𝒉𝒊𝒄𝒉 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒚𝒐𝒖'𝒓𝒆 𝒎𝒐𝒔𝒕 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆

With this Universe being so big, it's brilliant to find who you'd be the most similar to. So, I think you're a perfect mix of Wanda Maximoff (before WandaVision), Kamala Khan, aka Ms. Marvel and Yelena Belova.

𝒀𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒑𝒆𝒕

This beautiful girl was given to you as a wedding gift. This was actually a cultural thing the Vikings did. The cat was given to the wife by the husband to help look after the house.

Obviously, Matt gave this baby to you for other reasons. Not to help with the household (rats, other vermin etc).

But even though she is huuuuge, she is the biggest cuddler ever. Just wanting to be held by you, be around you. Whenever you're at home, she will follow you around. Everywhere. Cries if you don't pick her up.

𝐀𝐂𝐎𝐓𝐀𝐑

𝑫𝒆𝒔𝒄𝒓𝒊𝒑𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏:

𝐈 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐇𝐢𝐠𝐡 𝐋𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐫: 𝐓𝐚𝐫𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐧! He is the youngest out of the High Lords, and that means he has a slight youthful outlook on life; he has a lot of hope. But he was also Under the Mountain; so he does know the horrors of this life. I think he would lift your spirits all the time. Imagine him calling you his 'Love, his heart, his High Lady,' because of course he would make your standing equal to his.

𝑺𝒑𝒆𝒄𝒊𝒆𝒔

High Fae, just like Feyre, Elain and Nesta turned into. However, you were born this way, into a low standing family at the Night Court. You were lucky enough to be living in Velaris, not experiencing the horrors that were happening.

𝑷𝒐𝒘𝒆𝒓/𝑨𝒃𝒊𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒚

What kept your family safe was your unique power - one that Rhysand knew could never be in the hands of Amarantha. So, you were practically hidden in Velaris, hoping that something would change and you wouldn't be monitored every day.

Your parents came from two different Courts. Your mother from the Dawn Court, known for healing. And your father, from the Day Court (who had been a close friend of Lord Helion's).

Your father was interested in magic; not just practicing it, but becoming obsessed with gaining knowledge. So, when your mother was pregnant with you, he thought he was giving your mother something to keep you, the fetus, strong and healthy.

But when you were born, you weren't the normal fae baby. There were already glowing stars all over your body; constellations. Your eyes would change colour, depending on what you were using your ability for.

Because you could summon light, but you could also make the area around you completely pitch black. You were immune to fire, and could breathe under water.

𝑯𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒄𝒂𝒏𝒐𝒏𝒔

Never cared about your power, only that he needed to hire more guards to keep you and your family safe.

His nick names for you are, "my love", "beauty," "the light of my life.," "my little siren," "darling."

Tarquin, is a gentle man. He has a gentle heart, but knows when to become the High Lord. Oh, and yes of course, he would make you a High Lady. He's completely about equality.

Always wants your opinion in political matters and if you wanted to become more involved in it, he would allow it 100%

Loves introducing you to people as his, "High Lady and Mate." That's what everyone knows you as, so there is no way you would be referred to as anything less.

𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒎𝒆 𝑺𝒐𝒏𝒈

The Blue Planet by Hans Zimmer

Would That I by Hozier

Kingdom Dance by Alan Menken

𝑹𝒆𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒆𝒔

Oblivious (You) x Constantly Admiring You (Tarquin)

When Two Of The Sweetest people In The Room Are In Love

Calm bf x Hyper gf

𝑷𝒍𝒐𝒕 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒆

Soulmates

Timeless Love

Mutual Growth and Empowerment

𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒊𝒓 𝒇𝒂𝒗𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖

𝒀𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒃𝒆𝒔𝒕 𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅

You have two best friends but they're more aquaintances I think. Anyway, your best friends are Feyre Archeron and Gwyn Berdara. I think they both have similar personalities to yours, and you can actually open up to them both. They're so soft and gentle. Feyre gives the best hugs - the kind when they press you to their body, with one hand against the back of your head, and the other along your back. They would both understand the issues you deal with (and if you need to talk to someone/rant, always remember I'm here too xx!)

𝑾𝒉𝒊𝒄𝒉 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒚𝒐𝒖'𝒓𝒆 𝒎𝒐𝒔𝒕 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆

A mix of Elain, Mor and Feyre. With your INFJ personality, it's exactly as you described yourself: 'I always want to help others. I’m fairly organized as well. In addition to all of this, I am very sarcastic with a dry sense of humor. I’m a good leader, and can be quite feisty.' I.e,. you're multidimensional in a way where you're like a flowing stream. At some points you're perfectly warm and calm; in others, you are flowing so dangerously that no one can cross.

𝒀𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒑𝒆𝒕

The beautiful, wise and intelligent owl. One that can connect with you mind to mind. She's majestic, and picky with who she likes. Knows when danger is near, and particularly knows when YOU are in danger, no matter where you are.

𝐆𝐀𝐌𝐄 𝐎𝐅 𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐒

𝑫𝒆𝒔𝒄𝒓𝒊𝒑𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏

𝐈 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐫𝐲 𝐁𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐨𝐧: 𝐻𝑒𝑎𝑑 𝑜𝑓 𝐻𝑜𝑢𝑠𝑒 𝐵𝑎𝑟𝑎𝑡𝘩𝑒𝑜𝑛 & 𝐿𝑜𝑟𝑑 𝑜𝑓 𝑆𝑡𝑜𝑟𝑚'𝑠 𝐸𝑛𝑑. I was going to ship you with Pod, because GOT has a limit on their caring, kind-hearted male characters. But then I remembered Gendry and a light bulb struck. He would be the PERFECT match for you! He would do whatever it took to keep you safe, but also stand up for you against anyone, in any setting, no matter who was present. You're his woman, and he has so much respect and love for you it's endless.

𝑺𝒑𝒆𝒄𝒊𝒆𝒔

You're human, however, there are distinct differences in your appearance. Like having two different coloured eyes; one purple and the other brown. Your hair was white, and many thought you were a Targaryen.

This forced your family to dye your hair, as you became a target wherever you went. Your true parentage had been hidden to you all your life; your parents were happy to be together, even though your mother had had relations with Rhaegar Targaryen.

Yes, making you ... half Targaryen.

𝑷𝒐𝒘𝒆𝒓/𝑨𝒃𝒊𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒚

Dragonrider, Blood of Old Valyria, as well as a Dragon Dreamer.

That's how you were able to find your Aunt ... the Mother of Dragons. Through your dreams, you were told where to locate her. How to as well. It had plagued you as a child; sometimes you saw brilliant things, other times you saw things so horrific that you didn't want to sleep ever again.

𝑯𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒄𝒂𝒏𝒐𝒏𝒔

You met Gendry after being officially welcomed into your heritage of House Targaryen. You had already bonded with your dragon and had become apart of Dany's inner circle.

When Dany came to help Jon Snow, you came with her. Well, wherever she went, you went with her. You wanted to be another pair of eyes in the sky to watch her back. To defend her.

Gendry was there and his heart leapt looking at you. 'What a beauty,' he had mumbled and Tormund next to him snorted. 'It is a beast. A dragon. It is not a beauuty.'

But Gendry knew he had to talk to you. Spoilers: he did, and became smitten. So smitten in fact that he was slowly falling in love. Little did he know, you were falling as well.

Together you're playful, encouraging, and feel safe to be your real self. He calls you, "sweetheart, 'love', 'targaryen', 'white hair', 'she-dragon." He loves teasing you.

When you introduced your dragon to Gendry, he was shaking like a leaf - despite it being a warm day. You knew he was trying to hide his fear. When you climbed ontop of Viserion, you called out, "YOU COMING OR WHAT??" and Gendry couldn't breathe. (It took himm five interactions with Viserion for him to get on as well). And yes, Viserion is completely fine with Gendry. He likes him a lot. Sees him as him for what he is.

𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒎𝒆 𝑺𝒐𝒏𝒈

Earth by Hans Zimmer

Romantic Flight by John Powell

Dance of the Druids by Bear McCreary

𝑹𝒆𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒆𝒔

Aggressively Supportive & Protective (Gendry) Finally Allowing Someone Into Their Heart (You)

Tragic Past x Ray of Light (this goes both ways!)

Chaotic Dumbass Duo

𝑷𝒍𝒐𝒕 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒆

Forbidden Love

Love Transcending Boundaries

Defying Expectations

𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒊𝒓 𝒇𝒂𝒗𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖

Gendry doesn't care that you have a dragon, he doesn't care that you have power; you could have been brought up in the slums of King's Landing for all he cares. You're everything to him.

He loves how passionate you get about the things you love. He loves listening to you sing, loves listening to you talk about music and why it means so much to you.

He could listen to you talk for so long without needing to talk himself.

𝒀𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒃𝒆𝒔𝒕 𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅

Your Aunt, Danaerys Targaryen, who you don't see as an Aunt because she's only a few years older than you... She absolutely loves you. You're her family, but if you weren't blood related - it wouldn't matter. She sees you for who you are, and the fact that you bonded with one of her dragons (her sons), she trusts you just as much as Missendi.

She also loves dragon racing with you. At first it was just a fly over which she ruled. So high that everyone below you looked like ants. You looked over to Dany and she was beaming. Dany loved that she wasn't alone in this anymore. She wasn't the last Targaryen.

𝑾𝒉𝒊𝒄𝒉 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒚𝒐𝒖'𝒓𝒆 𝒎𝒐𝒔𝒕 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆

Definitely a mix! I think you have a lot of personality traits from Dany, Sansa, Arya (arya a lot actually), even Missendei. You have a polite demeanour and don't like bothering others (you aren't. I think like that too because of how I was raised, but we're humans that deserve to take up space!).

You actually really remind me of grown up Rhaenyra Targaryen (I know we're in got era) but they wanted to cast a 'rockstar' feeling person for that role, and I think you're really like Rhaenyra. But with a bit more hesitancy towards arguments.

𝒀𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒑𝒆𝒕

As one of the only Targaryens left in the world, it made you one of the only dragonriders left as well.

Dany was curious whenever you interacted with her dragons. Drogon would give a curious growl, until he smelt you. Understanding you were like Dany. You felt like you could look into his eyes, and he let you. Mutual respect was there.

Rhaegal was less aggressive and blew smoke at you. Instantly you knew this was going to be a banter like relationship.

And then there was Viserion.

Instantly when you looked at him you fell to your knees. Staring at the beautiful gold and white dragon. There was a pull inside you. Something had hooked your very soul and you knew the other hook was in the youngest dragon.

Viserion whined as he looked at you, his strong body getting up and moving toward you. But you couldn't move, you had been hoping this would happen, and it was!

𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐦𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 𝐢𝐬: 𝑉𝑖𝑠𝑒𝑟𝑖𝑜𝑛!

The youngest of the three dragons and the most affectionate.

Here are more gifs of him because he deserves to be recognised more. He's literally described in the books as affectionate, calm, and the friendliest out of the three.

[darklinaforever]

The way you ONLY ship bad boys/good girls who act as nurses/moral compasses/punching bag/psychiatrist (are you still in high school ? sorry the handsome popular boy never noticed you), I know you could never ship a female antagonist with the male hero/anti-hero.

Assuming an individual's age based on their taste in sailing is just childish and deeply stupid. By doing this, you just look immature, which you are undeniably saying / doing such things. Don't have anything else to do with your time but piss off people who are just enjoying their ships in peace ?

I don't owe you anything, but I still want to point out (for those who are interested) that I'm 22 years old and I'm studying modern literature at university.

Also, how hateful and stupid do you have to be to say something as dumb as :

"sorry the handsome popular boy never noticed you"

I appreciate these kinds of messages, because they only prove that the anti are real degenerates (yes I won't weigh my words because I'm pissed). But obviously the only reason you allow yourself to say such horrible things is because you hide under cover of anonymity in order to spread your hatred and negativity.

Just for information, in reality, there is rarely a "handsome popular boy" in high school, or in any type of school.

On the other hand, free and amusing anecdote, and just to make your big mouth shut, there was indeed one of "handsome popular boy", but in my college. And yes, he had noticed me. But I simply decided to refuse his interest, despite the consternation of all my friends at the time. (believe me or not, it's up to you)

Then, as for the fact that apparently I'm not able to ship a female antagonist with a hero / an anti-hero, ladies and gentlemen, since this is an opportunity to introduce you to other of my loved ships, here is a playlist :

I specify that in this playlist, there are Thomas and Lucille, from the movie Crimson Peak, but I also ship Thomas with the heroine Edith. I also specify that although I like Galavant & Madalena, I still prefer Galavant with Princess Isabella. Basically, a nice and a nice set. I also placed Wednesday and Tyler there, simply because Wednesday is an anti-heroine capable of horrible acts and certainly not a "good girl" and Tyler is basically a victim and not a vilain. Also, an inverted version of Darklina or Aleks is the summoner of light and Alina the summoner of darkness, simply because that possibility excites me madly ! 🤩

Also, your bullshit of only shipping bad boys with good girls, how does it work for LGBT ships ?

And now here's a playlist with some ships (because it is impossible to list them all because there are so many of them) of heroin / girls with good guys (Those who follow me will know that among them we can count Stydia / on which I have already published several times elsewhere, so blah blah the delirium of I only ship good girls with bad boys / and Bellarke) :

By the way, most of my ships are not a question of "good girls who act as nurses/moral compasses/punching bag/psychiatrist" but simply and generally reminders of Beauty and the Beast. Stories of redemption and forgiveness. I will not develop more, the real ones know.

Last little thing, the next time I receive a message like this I delete it purely and simply. I only answered because it was an opportunity to show new ships to those who follow me, and respond at least once to this type of bullshit, never to be tempted to do so again, for I would have the satisfaction of this answer.

And to end on a high note ! Dear Anon :

[electrospherevaults]

With the release date for Sternzeit Tänze – a Signalis Zine just a month away, here's an excerpt from one of the pieces I worked on:

The Signalis zine releases on April 28th, 2024. Transcript below the cut)

“Do you remember the morning sky? When you could see it with both your eyes and recognize each cloud?” She woke up from the midday slumber. Mangled bodies all around her, some hooked up to blood packs and morphine, others simply crossing words out in newspapers with faded dates. She felt an itch and tried to scratch it. The shrapnel had landed mere metres away. Elise exploded into pink mist. It was only yesterday where they had joked about their parents waiting back home; now a part of her in the form of a locket was lodged inside the cranium, just sideways enough to avoid permanent injury. It was a miracle she was still alive, with only minor eyesight woes to contend with. “Minor? She lost an entire fucking e–” “Keep your volume low, Miss Seo,” the Replika nurse pleaded – an EULR; she recognized the cadence, for no one else she had met in her tour spoke like them. She turned to look at her Comrade standing next to the Replika, uniform still bloodied from all the fighting. You could see her breath crystalize in the air. It would be the New Year soon. The New Season. Whatever this wretched place called it now. “Alina.” The Comrade and the Replika turned their heads. Alina smiled, a wave of relief washing over her soot and debris covered face. Scars and cuts and all did not take away the softness her gentleness offered. Not before long, she was right by her nightstand. “You gave us a proper fright out there! Helena and Birgit were–” “How many of us are left?” Alina swallowed her tongue. “Not many.” “Half?” “With you, yes.” She turned away. The itch returned. It burned something fierce, wanting to dig itself out of the great hole carved within her. And yet her hand was now held by bare skin instead of a thick leather glove. “It’s a miracle you’re still alive, Lilith. I am extremely grateful for it.”

[jomiddlemarch]

A handshake is available upon request 

“There used to be offices. Actual fucking offices, doors, windows, generic black and white landscape photography in a black frame because they wanted to be a little edgy, architect-school-wannabes,” Nina announced at the water cooler, which had been moved out of what was nominally the kitchen-slash-lounge, so that it was less appealing to stand around and chat. They weren’t allowed to bring in their own water bottles however, because their bathroom breaks were strictly regulated and a full Stanley on even 50% renal function equaled more time away from their screens than they were allocated. The water cooler had tiny paper cones to drink out of and if you didn’t swallow the whole thing right away, the paper would start to turn into mush in your hand. It wasn’t compostable though, because collecting compost would take time out of someone’s schedule that didn’t generate income.

“Really?” Alina said, keeping her voice lower than Nina’s. Nina was a veteran, relatively speaking, having survived the layoffs in ’18,’19, and ’22 and she wore Grimace purple Converse to the office on casual Fridays. Alina was approaching the end of her 90-day probation and needed to keep the job for the benefits more than anything else. The pay wasn’t great but there was vision and dental.

“Yeah, that was before all this cubicle shit,” Nina said. “If you don’t believe me, ask Gen. She remembers—”

“They said it would build morale. We’d all be interacting and sparking ideas or some nonsense like that. Like they want us to have ideas,” Gen offered. She was a bit more circumspect than Nina, which wasn’t saying all that much. She’d been assigned to show Alina the ropes the first week and fortunately, they were becoming friends. Well, work-friends. “They also took out all the vending machines except the one on the 24th floor.”

“The one with the ancient turkey sandwiches?” Alina said.

“Doesn’t ever need to be restocked, does it?” Nina said.

“We’re all just drones now,” Gen said. “Look what they did to David—”

“He was lucky he didn’t get fired for finding that loophole,” Nina said. Gen could get ranty about David, whom she’d had a crush on for like a year and who barely spoke to her, even though everyone could tell he was interested. “It’s worse what happened to Alex. That’s an absolute fucking nightmare.”

“What happened to him?” Alina asked. She’d seen Alex around, a tall, impassive dark-haired man with a close-cropped beard in the standard corporate uniform—charcoal or navy pants, button-down, no tie, cross-body nylon satchel—though she’d thought if he ever smiled, he’d probably be quite the looker. Not that he’d ever look at her, just one step up from a temp. 

“You know he basically built the place from the ground up, but I guess he was over-leveraged, there’s some rumor about his mother being in a crazy expensive assisted living with like a private nurse, but he doesn’t talk about her. After the takeover, he couldn’t afford to leave or he wouldn’t, there’s no real agreement on that part, and anyway, they took his top floor corner office and stuck him on 11. He’s got a door but no windows, can’t even keep a goddamn aspidistra alive in there,” Nina said. 

“Shit, there’s tattle-tail Tatiana and she’d coming over,” Gen muttered, then plastered a broad and clearly fake smile on her face, ducking her chin slightly to make her pony-tail bounce. “Hi, Tatiana!”

“Your reports ready to be filed?” Tatiana, the ostensible division supervisor, said. She looked lacquered, like she’d been manicured head-to-toe and left under the UV drying lamp a little too long. She didn’t smile but made some kind of smile-adjacent expression that showed her teeth. She must have the high dental plan because she clearly had caps.

“Just about,” Nina said. “Talk to you later, Alina—”

“After work,” Tatiana said. Nina nodded, then winked at Alina when Tatiana turned to squint across the floor at the cubicle Matt sat in, his blond head towering over the felted-composite wall.

“Yes, I was just going,” Alina said, though Tatiana had lost interest and had pivoted, obviously intending to walk over to Matt and find some reason to interrupt him. He’d play up his Norwegian, acting like he didn’t understand her, when Alina knew he was completely fluent in English, but he’d figured out it was the easiest way to get Tatiana to move along without getting saddled with additional work.

“Alina, maybe you can do me a solid? I left a folder on 11,” Nina said. “Can you run it down for me before you finish your break—”

“Break’s only 10 minutes. You better hurry,” Tatiana said.

“Of course, not a problem. Teamwork makes the dreamwork, right?” Alina replied as cheerful as a cartoon princess slogging it out in the forest with gnomes or dwarves or a nosey bunch of rodents, aware it was Day 84 and that she needed Tatiana to sign off on her or at least not have a reason to dump her. She was also aware that Nina had no folder, but that there was an office supply closet with the folders they used on their floor and that it was right next to the only office on 11. The office that evidently belonged to Alex, former CEO, now cooped up with a withering aspidistra. He could maybe use a cup of what passed for coffee in what passed for a general collegial friendliness, if you discounted that they worked in a cold steel skyscraper engaged in the soulless corporate grind.

For @iamstartraveller776 who suggested Evil Universe Trope "no coffee-shops, bakeries, florists...only cold steel skyscrapers in the soulless corporate grind" and with thanks to Severance for making it mainstream :)

[mariacallous]

In the crowded labyrinth of the open market in downtown Chisinau, the capital city of Moldova, a babble of languages ripples through the throngs of traders hawking a bewildering array of fresh produce, cheap textiles, electronic wares, and much more. A customer may broach the terms of a deal in, say, Ukrainian, and get an answer in Romanian, or propose a price in Romanian and be answered in Russian. Among themselves, the traders from across this diminutive country of 2.5 million, wedged precariously between its outsized neighbors Romania and Ukraine, communicate in other tongues, too.

Moldova is a multiethnic country that wears its patchwork diversity on its sleeve. Particularly in urban centers, the majority Romanians live very much together with Ukrainians, Russians, and the Turkic Gagauz. But the war in Ukraine has completely upended the tenuous status quo that existed before February 2022. The war’s outcome, whether in Ukraine’s or Russia’s favor, has existential consequences for the tiny country nursing aspirations of joining the European Union.

Political convictions in Moldova have long spanned the gamut from aspirations of greater Romanian nationalism to Soviet nostalgia, from pro-Russia patriotism to civic pride in an independent, EU-embedded Moldova. This fractured landscape is also reflected in the country’s geography. Since the first days of its independence in 1991—when the Soviet Republic of Moldova jettisoned Soviet authority and declared statehood, basically for the first time ever—the Republic of Moldova itself has been fractured.

A breakaway, Russia-kowtowing enclave called Transnistria established itself east of the Dniester River—complete with about 1,500 Russian troops that remain there today—while the Gagauz minority, courted by Moscow and Ankara, staked out broad autonomy in the south.

Russian President Vladimir Putin’s first priority is to stop Moldova from joining the EU and integrating with the West, especially since the EU boosted Moldova to candidate status shortly after the onset of the Russia-Ukraine war. But his aspirations may be far wider. Last week, Russia drew the ire of Moldovan authorities by setting up polling stations in Transnistria for its roughly 200,000 residents to vote in the Russian presidential elections held from March 15 to 17. It was a move that harks back to the initial steps taken to absorb occupied territories in Crimea and elsewhere in eastern Ukraine into Russia itself.

“Everything is at stake for Moldova now,” said Alexei Tulbure, the director of the Moldovan Oral History Institute.

If there’s one thing that just about all of Moldova’s peoples agree upon, regardless of political ideology, it is that they have next to no agency to affect the fate of their country—and ultimately, the fate of their own futures. “Moldovans breathe quietly,” according to a Ukrainian saying, mocking the country’s helplessness.

“It’s in the back of our minds,” said Alina Radu, the founder of the independent weekly Ziarul de Garda, of the possibility of the country losing its territory, or autonomy, to Russia. She compared the threat that the country now faces to the first months of the Russia-Ukraine war in 2022, when the Russian military seemed to be on the doorstep of the nearby Ukrainian city of Odesa. Transnistria’s armies seemed to be preparing to lend Russia a hand there. Had they been successful, all of Moldova could have come under Russian domination.

The staging ground for any future assault on Moldova is still likely to be Ukraine. Putin regularly confirms that Odesa is a military priority and has recently stepped up missile attacks there. It is a development that Moldovans are watching with trepidation. It’s one that Moldova’s allies in the West should be watching, too.

Even over its grinding first decades—marred by civil war, raging corruption, abject poverty, and mass emigration—Moldova’s prospects weren’t as starkly imperiled as they are today. Unlike most Ukrainians—who declare that victory over Russia is the only possible outcome—Moldovans have thought through worst-case scenarios.

“If Ukraine is defeated and Russia carves out a land corridor to Transnistria, Moldova will effectively cease to exist as an independent county,” Radu explained. “If they cross the Dniester River to occupy Moldova proper, then most of the population could well flee to Romania and points in Europe.” Her entire editorial staff has fixed plans to relocate to offices in the Romanian cities of Iasi and Bucharest, she said.

This certainly, at the very least, would put an abrupt end to Moldova’s EU and NATO aspirations, which is  Washington’s primary concern. Upon signing a security cooperation deal with France on March 7, Moldovan President Maia Sandu—a 51-year-old Romanian-speaking graduate of Harvard University’s Kennedy School of Government—told French President Emmanuel Macron that “our shared security is at stake. If the aggressor is not stopped, he will keep going, and the front line will keep moving closer. Closer to us, closer to you.”

Were Russia to take Moldova, it would open a second frontier with direct access to an EU member state. The United States is obviously aware of this threat and upped its defense assistance to Moldova from $3 million in 2022 to more than $30 million today. The United States and France also provided the country with hundreds of millions to shift its energy supply westward.

Ukraine, according to many Moldovans, including Sandu, is fighting for Moldova’s independence, too. “We’re very grateful to Ukraine,” said Ludmila D. Cojocaru, a historian at the National Museum of History of Moldova in Chisinau. “At the moment, it is the guarantor of our freedom.”

On the other hand, “if Ukraine pushes Russia back,” said Radu, the editor, “the Russian troops will have to leave separatist Transnistria, and it will dissolve.” As far as she is concerned, the peoples of Transnistria—hostages, she called them, to the criminal clique controlling the territory—would be more than welcome to join the Moldovan state in full. As for the alleged gangsters who have lorded over the region for 30 years, they will face justice—if they’re naïve enough to hang around, she said.

Until Russia launched its full-scale attack on Ukraine on Feb. 24, 2022, Moldova’s overwhelming geopolitical preoccupation was with the self-styled Transnistrian Moldovan Republic (PMR)—recognized as a state by no country in the world, not even Russia. Since a brief but bloody civil war in the region that took an estimated 700 lives in 1992, a hard-nosed, Russian-backed mafioso cartel named Sheriff Holding Co. has turned the vertical sliver of land into an entirely captured, one-party authoritarian state that conducts lucrative black-market business from the eastern bank of the Dniester.

The 90-minute minibus trip from Chisinau to PMR’s capital city, Tiraspol, passes a steady flow of traffic in the opposite direction: This workforce, which possesses Moldovan passports, can no longer find employment in Transnistria since its business to the east was cut off abruptly when Ukraine slammed shut the border last year, a body blow to the Sheriff cartel. At the Dniester, a solitary, AK-wielding Russian Army soldier stands in front of a makeshift border, not unlike Checkpoint Charlie in the divided Berlin.

Two flags fly from the checkpoint: the Russian flag and a green-and-red PMR flag that sometimes—but not all the time—sports a hammer and sickle in the upper right-hand corner just as had the flag of the Moldavian Soviet Socialist Republic. In the empty, deafeningly quiet streets of Tiraspol, the only image more prevalent than the bust of Soviet leader Vladimir Lenin is the Sheriff logo with its Wild West-inspired star. (“Sheriff” was the nickname of Moldovan police officer Viktor Gushan, who is one of the former Soviet sphere’s wealthiest oligarchs.)

The conflict between Transnistria and the Moldovan state, which never ceded sovereignty over the eastern bank territory, remained largely frozen for years despite international diplomacy to initiate a thawing. As long as the matter remained unsolved, Sheriff’s honchos padded their coffers and Moscow maintained a forward pawn that kept Moldova off balance; through propaganda and puppets, Russia influenced Moldova’s internal politics to the extent that until 2021, all but one Moldovan government reflected positions largely in line with Moscow, much as did in Ukraine until 2014. Interestingly, until the Russian annexation of Crimea in 2014, Ukraine had sided largely with the Transnistrian ruling clique, business and Russian reinforcements flowing over the Ukraine border while Moldova remained tightly in check.

But now it is the Transnistrians who are on the back foot—and not sure how to play it. The narrow lick of land suddenly finds its greatest ally far away, and its residents are well aware that Ukraine could occupy it within a week, Anatolii Dirun, a former Transnistrian politician, told me. Resupply from Russia is blocked by Ukraine. The PMR made a feeble cry to Moscow for help on Feb. 28, but stopped short of calling for it to intervene.

In fact, the gangsters of Transnistria are petrified and thus playing both ends against the middle: Russia and Moldova proper. All of the region’s trade now runs through Moldova proper—and most of that carries on to the EU through Romania. More Transnistrians than ever before work, study, and learn Romanian in Moldova proper, part of a deft strategy by Sandu to integrate Transnistria back into Moldova.

“Transnistria’s leaders are trying to be prudent—as they don’t have much of a choice,” Oazu Nantoi, a member of the Moldovan Parliament who belongs to Sandu’s party, told Foreign Policy.

And yet, the Transnistrian government, in league with the Gagauz and pro-Russian forces in Moldova proper, remains beholden to Moscow and gladly lends it a hand in chipping away at the Moldovan government’s sovereignty.

The fact is, said Alexei Tulbure, an ethnic Ukrainian and the director of the Moldovan Historical Institute, Moldova is an easy target. It remains a very weak state, he noted, and thus wide open to tampering. “We had hoped that the war would consolidate Moldova the way it did Ukraine’s population, bring us all onto the same page. But this didn’t happen,” he said. Polls show that about a quarter of the country is still pro-Russian.

Russia’s chief means to destabilize its targets are bought votes, propaganda, cyberwarfare, and political parties. There are a handful of Russia-friendly (some also Russian-financed) parties that toe Putin’s line to one degree or another. For most of Moldova’s recent history, a combination of these parties had held power. The propaganda is “very strong and very toxic, and it rings like it’s straight from Moscow,” said Mariana Aricova of the Institute of War and Peace Reporting office in Chisinau, whose job is to monitor and counter the Kremlin’s disinformation campaigns.

The Russian campaigns to topple the Sandu government have picked up pace as the Moldovan presidential election, scheduled to take place in autumn along with a referendum on EU membership, grows nearer. And the Sandu government has responded as if its life depends on it, even by banning one of the pro-Russian parties and shutting down six television channels for alleged misinformation.

But “it didn’t really change much because the banned party has regrouped under a new party, and the Russian message gets out through other channels, like the Internet,” Aricova said.

Above all, Moldovans fear being squashed in a power struggle in which they have no say. Many observers see a slow, gentle reintegration of Transnistria into a federally structured Moldova as a first step in the right direction—Sandu’s chosen path. The Sandu government is seizing the moment as a unique opportunity to reconnect with Transnistria—and from there, to bring the entire country, as one, into the EU. The carrots of cross-border employment prospects, full Schengen Area travel rights, European structural and investment funds, minority rights guarantees, and higher wages could be enticing to everyone—save, of course, Transnistria’s criminals.

In terms of a proven mentor, there’s none better than Romania, which has surged to become Eastern Europe’s second-largest economy after Poland. The question is whether Sandu can pull this off without shattering the fragile country in the process. But then, the war raging next door might just take care of that for her.

[mcnstercus]

closed starter - alina & liriel ( @lirielelwyn )

"Sara, this is Nurse Elwyn," she said to the small two year old when her sister met her in the room. Alina helped the child get admitted as she was dehydrates due to her and her mother had the flu. Her mother was one of Alina's patience herself, eight months pregnant. Alina knew that there would be a lot less stress on her if Alina helped out with the toddler too. "She's just going to put a little tube in your arm so that we can get you all better. I promise that she's really good at it."