#obi-wan: 'is it... guilt and worry for another person i am feeling for the first time in my life?'

[obiwanobi]

senator skywalker and sith senator kenobi au where anakin annoys obi-wan so much that in the end he just. fuckign rails him to shut him up. but then afterwards he’s all pliant and sleepy and beautiful, and for the first time in 30 years something in obi-wan’s cold dead heart shudders to life.

good lord I’m really, really into it.

The dynamic is so different here, because Obi-Wan is doing this ‘hidden Sith in politics’ very well, he’s charming, pleasant, pays attention to what he says in public and everyone feels heard and important when he’s here. He was even voted one of the most popular Senators among the public this year.

Senator Kenobi could declare that he’s going to nuke Coruscant in the next hour and people would probably thank him for being brave enough to announce it himself. He’s everything Sidious hoped for, and Obi-Wan thinks that it’s worth being away from real action and unable to wield his lightsaber for a few years.

But then Senator Skywalker shows up, and Obi-Wan’s nerves never truly recover. 

Skywalker is the worst. He has an extraordinary gift for making everything difficult: questioning centuries-old protocols, rallying the public (and even politicians, because they’re all as brain-dead as the people they represent) to useless and time-consuming causes like stopping slavery in the outer rim, (is there still people living in the outer rim? Gross.) trying to make revolutions and civil wars happen everywhere he goes and diverting everyone from Obi-Wan’s objective by being loud and obnoxious.

He’s a pain in the ass, and unfortunately, he notices Obi-Wan. And from this moment, where Obi-Wan allows himself to be annoyed at another senator instead of violently murdering them in cold blood like he wants to, Senator Skywalker becomes the bane of his existence. Putting himself in his way whenever he can, voting against every bill Obi-Wan promotes, arguing with him over petty details from 08:00 to 19:00 and sometimes even through the press, until he’s permanently tightly wound up and angry enough to look borderline furious any time Skywalker walks in his field of vision.

And Skywalker smiles through it all. 

Obi-Wan dreams of decapitating him. 

The day Obi-Wan finally looses his legendary patience in public and yells at Skywalker is also the day he fucks Skywalker through his desk three hours later. 

Obi-Wan throws him out of his office after five seconds of blessed silence, when Skywalker recovers enough of his wit to make a sharp comment about knowing that Obi-Wan couldn’t be as perfect as everyone said he was. 

This, (fucking him, not throwing him out) was a colossal mistake. He knows. He just... couldn’t find any other way that doesn’t include maiming him for life to make him shut the fuck up for one minute.

Skywalker takes it as an invitation to bother him in private in addition to turning into his personal nemesis in public. Anytime they’re left alone, Obi-Wan snaps at him, throws sarcastic comments after rude remarks, criticizes absolutely everything from the ugly scar on his face to his unrealisable and childlike ideas about social changes. But Skywalker doesn’t leave, and argues with him or finds it funny, and it only makes him stick around more (he is funny, in a very dark and horrifying sense of humour that absolutely no one should know Obi-Wan possesses.) 

But it’s also almost... relaxing, to be able to talk to someone without carefully choosing words beforehand. To say the most outrageous thing his mind comes up with, and only have Skywalker laugh and maybe even add a comment himself. Skywalker has his limits, obviously (Obi-Wan knows now to never approach the slave topic in a fifty lightyears radius again, and notices that he’s weirdly protective of Naboo’s Senator) but any violent argument is generally solved by fucking and then ignoring their divergence of opinion. 

They fuck when the atmosphere becomes too tense between them, they fuck when it’s convenient, they even fuck when they celebrate the departure of a hated colleague or Stewjon’s victory in whatever mid rim sport is popular these days. Sex is good, even better when they start to learn what they both like and relish the intimate noises they can draw from each other a few doors away from their colleagues.

They still hate each other. (One time a journalist asked him about his thoughts about Skywalker’s reelection as Tatooine’s Senator, and Obi-Wan said “I think he’s the senator Tatooine deserves”. Later that day, Skywalker commed him. “You’re really good at shitting on me and my planet without anyone noticing, hm.” He knew he was smiling, so Obi-Wan smiled too and told him to be in his office without his pants on in half an hour if he wanted to complain about it.)

They still don’t get along. (”They’re children, Kenobi, you’ll have to be extra nice in front of the cameras and not look like you’d rather have a vasectomy than spend one more minute listening to their incomprehensible babbles and being touched by their dirty little hands,” Skywalker once said while readjusting Obi-Wan’s collar. “You know I hate doing that.” “Yes, but you’re also very good at pretending to have human feelings.” “I know, it’s a curse.” Skywalker half-laughed, half-kissed him. He didn’t hate it.) 

Obi-Wan still throws him out of his office or apartment after he’s done with him. (Except that one time Skywalker fell asleep in his bed because he had an exhausting day and still came to Obi-Wan’s apartment. And this one time he blinked slowly at him right after sex, all warm and soft and content and said “This is the only time my brain can shut down and I’m finally free.” And also the time Skywalker came back from his horrible two-month-long diplomatic mission that almost killed him and spent two days on his couch, refusing to talk but leaning in when Obi-Wan’s hand stroked his head.) 

(It means nothing.)

But then Skywalker makes the mistake of being jealous.

Obi-Wan has never really cared about...Well, anyone, really, so when he fucks (gently, slowly, with soothing words, Force, this is all so boring) the pretty niece of a King to make her change her uncle’s mind about taxes on hyperspace lane routes in his sector, he doesn’t think about it much.

Until Skywalker barges in his office yelling. It’s different from their usual banters and fights. For once, Obi-Wan is more confused than irritated because Skywalker isn’t making any sense (less than usual anyway) and keeps talking about Obi-Wan being the worst (nothing new here) and when he finally understands that it’s about... Phimla? Phila? Whatever the name of the girl was, he can’t help but be annoyed.  

“Oh, please don’t tell me that you’re a romantic.”

He’s waiting for more yelling, but nothing comes. Skywalker just stands here, looking at him like he barely recognises him, with an expression Obi-Wan can’t completely read. It’s a long silence, almost an uncomfortable one because nothing should be so still around Skywalker who’s always on the move. It doesn’t feel right, not knowing what to say to him, how to make him react, understand what’s happening. 

It takes a long, long time to realise that Skywalker is holding back tears.

Obi-Wan can’t deal with crying people. That’s the only reason he hates seeing Skywalker’s trembling hands running through his hair. 

“I can’t believe I thought you could— Doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter. Of course you can’t understand normal emotions, it would make you human and we both know you can’t even be in the same sector as human or else you implode.” 

"Skywalker—”

“Fuck you, Obi-Wan.”

He leaves. He has never called him Obi-Wan before.

Obi-Wan doesn’t see him for weeks. Not in the corridors of the Senate, not at cocktail parties, not in meetings. No one challenges him when he speaks in public now, no one makes a sarcastic comment about his flowery turns of phrases or pushes him in an empty room for a blowjob right before an important conference to throw him off.

It’s boring. 

It doesn’t help that people have been acting weirdly lately.

“Should I book two tickets?” His assistant asks him when he tells her to get him transport to Stewjon for a weekend. “No, why would I need two tickets?” She sends him an unimpressed look.

Despite his best efforts to be polite and courteous, Senator Amidala refuses to speak directly to him. 

Even Sidious makes a comment. “You’ve been distracted lately.” Obi-Wan doesn’t know how to answer to that. It’s best to say nothing. “I have something to cheer you up, you’ll like it. I think it’s time we get rid of a... troublesome Senator.”

Obi-Wan thinks he’s having one of these unpleasant feelings he despises. 

[obwjam]

Ooo how about - 2. “It’s like you’re trying to get hurt at this point.” - maybe with obi wan? xx

“It’s like you’re trying to get hurt at this point.”

oh yes anon this is the STUFF. local sassy man is exhausted, sources say

from this post

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“It’s like you’re trying to get hurt at this point.”

“Obi-Wan...” you sighed, looking down at your legs dangling in the air. You weren’t too fond of being grabbed, so Obi-Wan’s solution was to use the Force when you fell — and you fell often. “Do you have to do this every time?”

Obi-Wan didn’t even look up from the book he was reading. “Yes.”

“Please,” you rolled your eyes. “I was totally gonna make that jump!”

“It certainly didn’t look like it.”

“You always say that!” you protested, now crossing your arms as you jerked your body to face your Jedi friend. The light of the Coruscant sunset was bathing you in a pink and orange glow. “And you weren’t even looking this time!”

“Even you’d have to admit your track record is less than stellar,” Obi-Wan ignored your comment and smirked, hand barely outstretched as he kept you hovering a few feet from the ground. “Wasn’t it just last week that you tried to swing from the bookcase to the table and ended up on the ground instead?”

You huffed a breath. “That was a miscalculation.”

“And how many more miscalculations until you seriously injure yourself?”

“Come on, you know as well as I do that borrowers don’t get hurt as easily as humans.”

Obi-Wan finally looked up from his book. His expression wasn’t irked like you thought it might be — it was concerned. “(Y/n). That isn’t an excuse to do dangerous things.”

You shut your eyes as Obi-Wan stood up from his chair and kneeled down in front of you, pulling you from midair into his open palm. In all the time you had known Obi-Wan, you still could barely look up at him. The sheer size difference was something you figured you’d never get used to.

You refused to look up at Obi-Wan as he took a seat.

“Your stunts get more and more wild by the day,” he said quietly. “Is something the matter?”

“Nothing’s wrong,” you grumbled. “Why would something be wrong?”

“You know I can tell when you’re lying,” Obi-Wan chuckled. “You’re not the first one to try getting one’s attention by acting out.”

You grimaced as you wrung your hands together.

“It’s not easy, you know. Being around you all the time.”

Obi-Wan tilted his head, trying to get a read on your expression. “(Y/n), what are you talking about?”

“You know! You’re—you’re this great, powerful Jedi master, who—who can move things with his mind and do incredible things. You think just because I’m small that I’m helpless and can’t do anything!”

“Missions are far too dangerous for you, and you know that!” Obi-Wan said sternly, rolling his eyes. It was another one of these conversations. He didn’t even notice your flinch when he raised his voice.

“But I could help!” you cried, standing up and balling your fists at your side. “I could—I could be a spy, or—or I could crawl into places you normally wouldn’t be able to reach!”

“(Y/n), people die on these missions! All the time! The clones who are bred for battle don’t often make it back. I can’t let you take that risk!”

“You don’t let me do anything! Sure, I’ve gotten hurt before, but you get hurt too! Everybody does!”

Obi-Wan groaned. This had to have been the fifth time this week you begged him to take you on a mission. He wasn’t in the mood to keep rehashing his decision, and guilt-tripping wasn’t going to work. “It’s different for you and you know it.”

“Oh really? How come? Because I’m so small, I can’t be trusted? Because I’m just a pathetic little thing you took pity on?!”

It was like all the air disappeared from the room in an instant. Obi-Wan gasped softly while you covered your mouth, utterly horrified that you has let that slip. In an instant, he had gone from annoyed to embarrassed. In the months that had passed since Obi-Wan found you, he had mostly kept you confined to his quarters. He had left you alone when he went on missions, but he figured that was for the best — the fewer giants you had to encounter, the better. He failed to consider the possibility that sheltering you would just make you more afraid.

“(Y/n),” he started, lifting his hands up to his eye level. He could barely see the makings of a tear track on your cheek. “Is that really how you feel?”

You crossed your arms and turned your head down, giving it a small shake.

“No? Then why would you say that?”

Your stomach felt like there was a lead weight resting inside. “People say things.”

“What people? Other Jedi?” Obi-Wan had to suppress the rage that was bubbling up.

“I dunno!” your quavering voice shouted in defense. It was times like these that you hated being confined to his hand. “I just... I hear it sometimes, okay? When you’re not around.”

“It’s not Anakin, is it?”

“No, not him,” you scoffed. “Though he does seem to look at me like some sort of helpless pet.”

Obi-Wan shook his head. “He needs to learn some manners.”

There was a beat of silence.

“Sometimes it just feels like you’d be better off without me here.”

Obi-Wan almost screamed. If he ever found out who was saying those things to you...

“(Y/n), what are you trying to say?”

You finally looked up at Obi-Wan and felt a pang of guilt at his hurt expression. You didn’t think he would be so... offended by your words.

“I’m just... I don’t understand why you keep me around. I just get in your way, don’t I? You’re always worrying about me, even when I don’t need to be worried about. I’ve fallen from treetops to the forest floor. This is the safest place I’ve ever been — you —you won’t even show me around the temple! — but you still feel the need to—”

“—to protect you?” Obi-Wan finished. Embarrassed, you nodded.

“Yeah. To protect me. When I never even leave this room. I can’t be the only person you ever saved from danger. You... you have far more important things to do than save me when I fall.”

Obi-Wan closed his eyes for a moment as he steadied his breathing. It was never lost on him how small and vulnerable you were compared to the environment around you. Even in the safety of his hands, his curled fingers loomed overhead. How could he not worry when even he was an inherent danger to you? You were his responsibility now — just as Anakin and Ahsoka are. When he rescued you from your old planet, you were injured and afraid. The temporary shelter he promised had turned into a permanent solution because he enjoyed having you around. You were a friend.

“It seems I have failed to properly convey my feelings,” Obi-Wan said softly, almost sounding disappointed in himself. You looked at him, confused.

“You matter to me a great deal. I wouldn’t have let you stay if you didn’t. You’re a wonderful companion and an even greater friend. You’re right, you’re not the first person I’ve saved from this horrible war. It’s... not often that Jedi get the opportunity to let themselves care so deeply for someone. I want to protect you because I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I let you get hurt.”

You gawked up at him, almost not believing what you were hearing.

“It’s not that I don’t trust you, or think any lesser of you.” You could have sworn Obi-Wan’a cheeks flushed red for a moment. “Quite the opposite, actually.”

“You... you really mean that?” you blushed, gently resting your hands on his thumb. His hand didn’t seem so imposing anymore.

Obi-Wan didn’t even hesitate. “Yes, I do.”

“It’s just... I dunno,” you frowned. “You travel all across the galaxy. You meet so many amazing and powerful people. Why me? Why do you care about me so much?”

Obi-Wan stroked his beard for a moment. He had never thought about it concretely, but it didn’t take long for the words to come to him.

“Well, for starters, you’re far more observant than I am. And quite good at understanding people and their feelings.” He smiled to himself. “And I must admit, you are very agile. If you were my height, you certainly would have no problem holding your own.”

You rubbed your eyes, foolishly hoping you could conceal how red your face was. No such luck.

“Look, I know I can’t do everything I wish I can. Or act like I can. But I spent my entire life living by myself in a forest. I got by just fine until the war came. I’m—I’m not used to just sitting around all day doing nothing. I... I can help. I want to help! I owe it to you. You saved me, and I should be doing more to show my thanks. Nothing crazy, or-or anything, but maybe I could—”

“Tenacious.”

“What?”

“You’re tenacious, too. I like that about you. It reminds me of...” he trailed off. He didn’t need to say for you to know. “You don’t like to accept the circumstances given to you. You’d rather be the one setting the terms.”

You shrugged. “I guess so.”

“Perhaps I am a bit overbearing at times. But it’s because I care, not because I don’t think you’re capable. But even I can admit when I’m in the wrong.”

You sniffed a laugh. “Can’t imagine that happens all too often.”

Obi-Wan smiled. “No, not really.”

There was a comfortable silence as Obi-Wan thought over what he was about to say. He could only imagine how you felt — ripped away from your home, forced to sit inside all day as you recover from everything you saw and went through. Nobody in their right mind would want to return to the war after being rescued from it, but Obi-Wan supposed he underestimated how you were just his kind of crazy.

“How did you like being in space when I brought you to Coruscant?”

You cocked your head. “Um, I liked it just fine. I was kinda scared, but I thought it went well for my first time on a ship. Why?”

“Well, as you know I’m due to leave for a relief mission to Corvo tomorrow. I don’t suppose you’d like to join me?”

Your eyes lit up. “Really? Yes! I mean—yeah, if—if you’re offering, I’d really — I’d love to.”

Obi-Wan laughed. “Good. The people of Corvo are allies of the Republic, and very kind. If you’re to make Coruscant your new home, it might be nice for you to meet the Corvoian Prime Minister.”

It took a great deal of discipline to contain your excitement, and Obi-Wan knew it. You leaned into his thumb in sort of a makeshift hug, and he flexed his fingers to reciprocate the action as best he could. For a few minutes, neither of you said anything. The moment didn’t need any words.

“Obi-Wan?” you said finally.

“Hmm?”

“How come you changed your mind so quickly?”

He shrugged. “I know when I make a mistake. And I like to fix it as soon as possible so people don’t realize it happened.”

You laughed. “How very humble of you.”

“Oh, you know me.”

“Yeah,” you said, resting your head on his thumb as Obi-Wan leaned back. The sun had just about set and the hundreds of brilliant lights were beginning to pop up along the horizon. You would never get tired of its beauty.

“I do.”

[vagrantblvrd]

Obi-Wan raises Luke instead of Owen and Beru, please.

Oooh, nice.

Because I am That Person I want to do the Satine lives AU (I haven’t finished Clone  Wars yet, but one of my friends has Strong Opinions about similar AUs).

Obi-Wan doesn’t leave the Jedi Order to be with her,because Duty, and all that with the war, but perhaps once the war is over he can?

But then Anakin falls to the Dark Side and it’s decided to separate the twins. Leia goes to Bail and Breha, and Obi-Wan is supposed to take Luke to Tatooine to be raised by his aunt and uncle, but.

Obi-Wan’s in his ship leaving Coruscant after losing Anakin the way he did and it isn’t a conscious decision really, that has him putting in the coordinates for Mandlore, doesn’t even register until his droid is like ??? and he sees what he’s done, and has this moment of oh, I didn’t mean to do that, did I?

He means to fix it, input the coordinates for Tatooine, a weavin winding path in case he’s followed, but stops to think about it.

It makes sense to take Luke there, no one would think to look for him, but the thought of leaving Luke, one of the last pieces of Anakin left to him to be raised by people who wouldn’t understand him leaves him with a bad taste in his mouth.

Regret, guilt, for failing Anakin so completely, and it’s like. Anakin has ties to Tatooine that someone smart enough might look into, might find Luke, but Mandalore? That complicated mess is all Obi-Wan’s now.

And it’s selfish, he’s being selfish, not wanting to give Luke up, thinks about the Order and attachments, but look where it got them in the end, you know? (His foundations have been rocked, shattered beneath his feet but if he thinks on it there were cracks, fault-lines long before that.)

So.

He calculates s winding, weaving course to Mandalore and goes to Satine where they raise Luke as their foundling, right?

They keep the whole...Jedi thing on the down-low, because ancient enemies but Obi-Wan and Satine’s inner circle know, because how couldn’t they?

Obi-Wan may go by a different name these days, but it’s close enough to his real name it wouldn’t take much thought to connect the two. Also, his face???

And Luke okay. Obi-Wan teaches him to control his Jedi abilities and such from an early age, but he couches it in games and play and all Mr. Miyagi with his wax on, wax off schtick kid of deal to keep Luke from accidentally giving away the fact he’s strong in the Force and so on.)

Meanwhile there’s an effort to dial back the animosity towards the Jedi, which meets with mixed results, because people. Also, also, over the years Obi-Wan encourages Satine to mend the rift between her followers and those exiled to Concordia.

Also, with mixed results, but with the Empire’s numbers growing it seems like a mistake to allow Mandalore to be divided.

They reach some kind of understanding, not entirely reconciled, but better than things were before.

In another meanwhile, Luke is being raised as a Mandalorian, and like Obi-Wan earns a set of armor.

But then!

The Purge happens, and in the chaos Luke is separated from Obi-Wan and Satine, the other Mandalorians.

He has his armor and a ship and the lightsaber that belonged to his father Obi-Wan shoved into his hands before they were separated.

Has to hide from the Empire because one thing Obi-Wan made sure he knew from a young age is that he couldn’t all ow himself to be captured by them, that they’d be looking for him.

(And on some lonely nights after the Purge when his nightmares seem more real than usual, some part of him wonders if the Purge happened because Mandalore refused to join with the Empire, or if someone found out about him?)

Anyway.

Mandalorians and the reputation for being fierce fighters and skilled bounty hunters and Luke is truly alone for the first time in his life. Little money to his name and his ship can only get so far before it runs out of fuel, and he needs ammunition and food to eat, and it’s just.

He finds work s a bounty hunter, and the first few bounties are part of a learning process. Thank goodness for his armor or he’d have been dead dozen times over the first month.

Still.

He’s been raised as a Mandalorian his whole life, maybe saw himself as an outsider because his Force abilities and the secrets Obi-Wan kept even from him, but he’s been training as a warrior his whole life.

(Pacifists, yes, but the galaxy is a dangerous place and perhaps more so for someone like Luke, so.)

Between the regular weapons and hand-to-hand and whatnot and Obi-Wan’s instruction with his Force abilities and his father’s lightsaber he’s quite the dangerous individual.

He keeps running into this Corellian smuggler and his Wookie co-pilot, and sometimes he turns a blind eye to their antics if he’s tracking someone else. (In return Han’s willing to let information slip to Luke, for the price of a drink or a meal, and of course he’d never say no to an outright gift of credits, so.)

There’s a miscommunication on a job, once. Luke after a bail jumper and this other Mandalorian with a silver helmet who wants the pilot Luke’s bounty hired.

There’s a bit of a fight, nothing serious before it occurs to Luke that the aforementioned pilot looked a little too panicky at the sight of the other Mandalorian to be fully innocent. (Also, it’s Mos Eisley. Innocent people are exceedingly rare here.)

It’s the first time Luke’s worked with another Mandalorian on a bounty, and it’s actually kind of nice. (Although he suspects the other Mandalorian may have ties to The Tribe, but it’s the least of his problems at the moment and the man makes for good company.)

Anyway, anyway, at some point Luke runs into Ahsoka - and he knows her. Obi-Wan and his secrets and she’s safe, she can help him.

At first she’s reluctant, because look what happened to Anakin, what if she’s resposnsible for the same happening to Luke? But he finds a way to convince her - stubborn like Anakin, if not worse - and she takes up his training where Obi-Wan left off.

She’ll lave from time to time because Rebellion shenaigans, and sometimes Luke goes along to help.

And then word through Luke or Ahsoka’s contacts about Leia being taken prisoner and important plans and they’re so far out they might not make it in time.

“I know someone who might help?” Luke offers, because he and Han are hardly friends (they kind of are though), and the Falcon is one of the fastest ships out there even if she doesn’t look like it.

So, side trip to Tatooine and Han is just “Oh, come on, you too? What is with today?” because Greedo and Luke being a bounty hunter and Ahsoka is super unimpressed.

Once Luke explains what he needs, Han is like “NO,” but Luke convinces him and Han reluctantly agrees (but then Jabba and that whole mess and it’s kind of a disaster getting off Tatooine but they make it so everything’s fine.

Before they leave though, there’s this weird hermit they run into and emotional reunions because Obi-Wan and he thought Luke was dead and what has he been doing? Also it’s very nice to see you again, Ahsoka, you look well.

Luke going up to the cockpit to give them privacy for their part of the reunion and sharing information and all that.

And then rescuing Leia and Luke in his beskar getting between Obi-Wan and Vader even though both Obi-Wan and Ahsoka are incredibly not happy about that, but some people there were just going to let the sith lord kill them, and Luke is just how about no???

(Satine would never forgive Obi-Wan something like that Luke’s sure, and according to Obi-Wan she’s back on Tatooine still, so.)

Leia gets rescued and the Rebellion’s down a few pilots and oh, hey, Luke’s kind of not bad at that whole deal?

Obi-Wan’s needed as a strategist - and honestly, no one wants him out of sight after the whole thing on the Death Star - and Ahsoka with her Rebellion Thing.

Han comes back to save Luke’s life and Luke destroys the Death Star and happy ending for now?

But Luke knows there’s something about Vader and Luke himself that has Obi-Wan and Ahsoka deeply worried. (When he thinks about it there are a few reasons why that might be, but he does his best not to dwell on it.)

Anyway.

The usual Star Wars shenanigans but with Mandalorian!Luke with his armor and whatnot.

Confrontations between Luke and Vader go a little differently because of Luke’s armor? But the hand thing still happens because parallels or some nonsense, idk.

(Anakin’s not the only one who has to remove their helmet on the second Death Star and so on.)

Leia has mixed feelings about the whole Boba Fett putting Han in carbonite because Luke’s used the same method on some of his bounties in the past. (The violent dangerous ones that posed a risk to him transporting them the guild, though, but it doesn’t matter to Leia at the time.)

After the destruction of the second Death Star there’s talk, idle, unsure about forming a school to teach the next generation of Jedi?

Because Force-sensitive kids and there must be a better way, a balance between the ole Jedi Order and a new one.

Until then, Luke is curious about the whole Jedi thing, goes looking for relics and whatnot. (Maybe does some bounty hunting every so often, because why not.)

Satine wants to go back to Mandalore, help her people if she can and Obi-Wan goes with her because not a lot of reason to stick around Tatooine otherwise.

And then!

This call for help through the Force and Luke following it to an Imperial light cruiser and Din being very, very confused at seeing a Mandalorian with a lightsaber?

Is it like Bo-Katan’s Darksaber? Will one of them have to change? So confused. (Also though, possible concussion from his fight with the Dark Trooper, but yes.)

“Are you a Jedi?” Din asks, feeling that it’s a valid question because Mandalorians and Jedis and ancient enemies????

And yet.

Luke is like, hey, it’s you! Because silver helmet and remember that time we got into a fight on Tatooine? But also, also, hello Aunt Bo-Katan and friends.

Mainly though, Grogu who is kind of losing his tiny little mind because Mandalorian? But also Jedi? But Mandalorian???

And then shenanigans in which Luke is like, huh, about the Darksaber and poor Din who wants nothing to do with it. His adopted mother who wants to help her people but afraid they won’t listen to her after what the Empire’s done them and is like.

Strangely convenient, but he’ll take it.

They stop by the closest New Republic planet or outpost to hand Gideon and whatever other Imperials are still on board over and then head to Mandalore.

Din is still so very confused, but it doesn’t seem like Luke plans to take Grogu away and he’ll take what he can get. (So sure Luke will take Grogu far away at some point, but tries not to think too hard about that.)

And then the whole working at calling Mandalorians home - Din is super unsure about being the new ruler of Mandalore, but once Bo-Katan and Satine have a chat about the fure of their world they’re like, “He’s perfect for the role.”

Just needs a little help, and with them and Obi-Wan and other trusted people to help him, something great could come of it.

Luke stays on Mandalore - his home more than anywhere else in the galaxy - and he and Obi-Wan train Grogu. Ahsoka too, when she visits.

Once Mandalore and its people are more settled there’s talk of joining the New Republic, right?

Leia as the New Republic’s representative, and Obi-Wan one of Din’s advisors, negotiators and it seems as though good things will happen there too.

But!

Also!

Luke who grew up on Mandalore helping introduce Din to it? Teach him about this world he’s never seen, but is important in its own way more than ever now.

And little Grogu and all that.

Keldabe kisses in a courtyard on a night when Luke’s meditating outside, Din restless after tucking Grogu in and happens across Luke.

Understands that Luke doesn’t follow the Creed the way Din does, but he was raised as a Mandalorian and Din’s seen him in his helmet more often than not and anyway.

Luke meditating in the moonlight and while Din was worried he might have interrupted, Luke opens his eyes and smiles, something about it drawing Din closer.

And it’s.

There’s been so much Pining, but this is Luke, and anyway, keldabe kisses, and Luke laughing at Din being so flustered by it, but Luke’s laughter is shaky, breathless and really, the man’s a hypocrite.

Still, the two of them stay like that for a little while longer.

[jennana501]

Attachment and the Jedi Way

SPOILERS FOR THE MANDALORIAN AND STAR WARS REBELS

I always know a story is quality when what I want to say about it to my mother and sisters is too difficult to text, and I have to drive over and talk with them in person. Such was the case when I watched the Mandalorian Chapter 13. There were so many juicy details, plot developments, and general excitement about the long awaited appearance of one of our favorite Star Wars characters that I couldn’t stand being restricted by phone when I wanted to gush a million things. We were all so stunned with the emotion of her appearance. Truly a moment I will remember for the rest of my life. 

But after all the sweet outer frosting on the Chapter 13 cake had been licked clean, I dove into the center of this delectable episode and began to savor in its indulgent but substantial core. I have many thoughts about Thrawn, where Rex can be (is he dead or alive?) and where the season is going to go from there. What has interested me the most is Ahsoka’s reaction to our newly named green baby friend, Grogu. 

First I must say how much I love Rosario Dawson’s performance. I feel she knows who Ahsoka is and what she has gone through. I am reminded of little ‘Soka in her very first appearance in the Clone Wars animated movie when she takes care of the way less loveable baby Hutt. Seeing that she is  charmed by Grogu and that she clearly thinks he is cute makes me feel all sorts of warm fuzzies. Their very mythical and silent conversation in the moonlight shows how in tune with the force Ahsoka has become and that Grogu himself is much more than meets the eye. 

And yet when it comes to it, Ahsoka says she cannot train Grogu. The reason: his attachment to Din. I was surprised at first. Ahsoka does not see herself as a Jedi, at least as far as her association with the order that raised and trained her. I didn’t think I’d hear about attachment from someone who has forgone the Jedi way, especially since Ahsoka appears to have indulged in an attachment or two.

I immediately realized she was on to something. I recall Grogu’s moments of using the force: saving Din from the mudhorn; using the Force to save everyone from a giant fireball; Force healing Greef Karga; and Force choking Cara Dune. The latter example stands out to me as being the most violent use of the Force we see from little Grogu. He perceives that Din is in danger and acts against what we now know is his training to hurt someone in a manner that is often consistent with the dark side. 

Sure he is innocent and adorable. But he is also dangerous. And Ahsoka is right. It’s his attachment to Din that turns him from benevolent force using baby, to emotionally fueled deadly force bomb.

But I’ve seen Star Wars Rebels. I know that a Jedi can have relationships with other people and not turn to the dark side. You can love and still listen to the will of the Force. The Jedi were wrong. So I’m here to look into what attachment is, how you can love and not have attachment, and how Grogu might still become a Jedi, or at least the new wave sort of Jedi. 

First we must look at the poster child for attachment issues: Anakin Skywalker. The Clone Wars TV show could be renamed- Star Wars: Attachment and How it Disrupts Nearly Every Mission the Republic Assigns Anakin. He prioritizes Padme, Ahsoka, R2, and even Obi-wan over everything else. He is constantly  defying the orders of his commanders and putting the mission in danger. 

This all comes down to what happened to Anakin’s mother. 

When Anakin is taken from Tatooine, he has to leave his mother behind, with whom he shares a strong bond and attachment. When he is brought before the council and they say “he is too old”, what it really means is “he has already attached himself to something other than the Force.” Why else would being “too old” matter? The Jedi prefer blank slates for a good reason. Very small children have not developed strong attachments.

Anakin does turn into Darth Vader, after all. 

It would appear the Jedi are very right to say that Anakin should not be trained. He is ripped away from his mother; the man who believes in him is killed; and he is forced to be trained by someone who treated him with bitter indifference. After losing his mother he has no help, no advice, no direction other than to stifle his negative emotions. 

So instead of processing his grief and finding peace, he latches onto Padme. This attachment he will never abandon. He trains harder and becomes more powerful to always be able to keep Padme alive. The guilt Anakin feels for not being able to save his mother gives fire and passion to his obsession with Padme. And this obsession slowly erodes their relationship. 

Anakin says things like “There’s nothing more important than the way I feel about you.” (Hostage Crisis) During the Mortis Arc when he sees a vision of his mother, they have this conversation: 

“The only love I feel in my heart is haunted by what would happen should I let go.” 

“Then it is not love. It is a prison.” 

“But I have a wife…she’s everything to me.” 

“She’s not your destiny.” 

“But I love her.” 

We see the very ugly side of Anakin’s obsession and jealousy in the arcs that involve Clovis. Anakin's insecurities are valid, but they simply drive home the point that his attachment to Padme will eventually unravel him and lead to violence. 

Anakin and Obi-wan have a very interesting conversation during the episode “The Rise of Clovis” that reveals that Obi-wan is worried for Anakin and senses Anakin’s anger pitted towards the man he perceives as his rival. 

Obi-wan: Master Yoda is feels that your judgements concerning Rush Clovis are clouded. 

Anakin: I believe he can’t be trusted.

Obi-wan: Yes, but there is more isn’t there? I sense a deep anger in your by my simply saying his name. 

Anakin: He almost got Senator Amidala killed and I would have been responsible. 

Obi-wan: The Senator has risked her life many times. She’s quite capable of taking care of herself. 

Anakin: They had a relationship...once. I simply feel she is vulnerable to her emotions. 

Obi-wan: She is, or you? 

Obi-wan then empathizes with Anakin, telling him that he knows what it’s like to harbor feelings for someone. He tells Anakin to not be ashamed of these feelings, but that he must make the rights choice “for the order”. The conversation ends with Anakin becoming very angry, asserting he knows what his responsibilities are and Obi-wan leaves the room, leaving Anakin to deal with his distress alone. 

 And since Anakin is denied the support he needs, he resorts to controlling, intimidating behavior. He commands Padme to stay away from Clovis, is cruel to him, and chooses to punish Padme emotionally for Anakin's own insecurities. When tensions reach their peak, he attacks Clovis. This fully expresses Anakin's own fear and rage at the idea of losing Padme to another man. 

Anakin’s unchecked and untreated attachment to Padme, as we all know, results in the ultimate ruination of the both of them, the Jedi Order, and the Republic. He will never out anything about her. She is his center. Nothing else matters. 

This is not Anakin’s fault. This is the fault of the Jedi. Their teachings about attachment are unhelpful at best, and this stems from their crippling confusion over the difference between “attachment” and “love”. 

It makes me wonder if they even know what they are talking about at all. Their advice about attachment involves regurgitating confusing platitudes.  

In “The Revenge of the Sith"; Anakin goes to Yoda to seek his counsel. Anakin is told that “attachment leads to jealousy. The shadow of greed that is.” When Anakin asks what he must do to overcome attachment, Yoda tells him simply to “train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose”. 

Thanks Yoda, I’ll get right on that. 

Anakin needs to “let go”, apparently, and if he is holding onto something dangerous, what should he be holding onto instead? No one ever explains. The Jedi simply tell him to “let it go”. 

It’s no wonder that Anakin can’t ever consider letting go of Padme. For all he knows, that means cutting her out of his life and never speaking to her again. Or worse, does that mean letting her die the next time her life is in danger? Does it mean he should replace love with indifference? He has no idea. As he is given no tools, Anakin fixes nothing and plummets to his unavoidable demise.

Divorce papers and deleting Padme’s number isn’t how Anakin is to overcome “attachment”, and it was never going to be. Obi-wan tried this method with Satine, and though he didn’t fall to the dark side, he never recovers from the bitterness and regret he feels.

In “Voyage of Temptation”, Anakin and Obi-wan discuss his and Satine’s relationship. Obi-wan explains his Jedi duties forced him to leave Satine after forming a strong bond and love with her over the year they were together on Mandalore. The Jedi teachings dictate that he let Satine go. So, obedient Padiwan that he was, Obi-wan cuts off his relationship with Satine. The results show that this was not the way. If the goal of the Jedi is to avoid negative emotion, then this technique fails and perhaps cripples Obi-wan forever.

Anakin: “As Master Yoda says: ‘A Jedi must not form attachments.’”

Obi-wan: “Yes, but he usually leaves out the undercurrent of remorse.” 

I’m here to tell you today that Obi-wan perhaps gets screwed over by the Jedi Code more than any other Jedi. Obi-wan does not have an attachment to Satine. Sure he says “Had you said the word, I would have left the Jedi Order” but that’s only because that is what he has been taught. He is taught you only have two options: love someone or be a Jedi. 

Obi-wan loves Satine. He has a relationship with her. Some even think, myself included, that he is physically intimate with her. Qui-gon no doubt encouraged this relationship. He probably carefully nurtured Obi-wan during this time, helping him be able to love without forming an attachment. But Obi-wan is not able to see that he could love Satine and still be a Jedi. Leaving the order means that his Jedi journey would be over. If he had realized love and attachment are separate things, he could have been a Jedi and could have had Satine's love, too . 

Qui-Gon nearly convinces Obi-wan to be different: Obi-wan could have been a Jedi with feelings and love. Satine is a person who values duty above all, just as Obi-wan does. She respects that he answers to the Force. They would have been able to perfectly rule together with that mutual understanding. He could have been her force wielding husband without being attached to Satine and falling to the Dark side. 

True attachment is so dangerous to a Jedi because if they attach to a person, an idea, or a cause then they are not attached to the will of the Force. 

This is the missing detail Anakin and Obi-wan needed. Obi-wan could have been completely attached to the Force, even while loving Satine and even becoming her husband. Anakin needs to know that he could attach his center to the Force, and that this would not interfere with a deep and meaningful relationship with Padme. While centered in the Force, Anakin could be Padme’s husband loving and living with her, but ultimately his duty is to the Force, just as her duty is ultimately to the Republic. 

We know all of this is possible because of two characters from Star Wars: Rebels. Kanan Jarrus and Hera Syndulla share what is essentially a marital bond. They love, live, and lead together. They are physically intimate, but they do not have each other as their centers. We see evidence of this in the episode “Call to Action”, when Hera leaves Kanan in the hands of the Empire. She  knows that if she risks saving Kanan then everyone else will be killed. 

If Hera had an attachment to Kanan like Anakin had to Padme, she would have risked everything to get Kanan back. Since Hera is not one of the most powerful Jedi in the galaxy, she would have failed and the rebel cell would have been stopped dead in its tracks. 

We also see evidence that Kanan is not attached to Hera. At the very end of their journey, after Kanan and Hera have fully expressed their feelings to each other, Kanan sacrifices himself for Hera and the others by using the Force to hold back an explosion. Though it appears as  Kanan is doing this because of his love for Hera, that is not the true motivation. If Kanan has an attachment to Hera, things would have gone differently. 

It is heavily implied leading up to this event that Kanan knows it is the will of the Force that he is to die. He knows this because the Force is his center and not  Hera. If his center is attached to Hera, I believe two things would have happened. Kanan would have tried and failed to save himself along with Hera and the others.  His actions would have been motivated by selfishness and desperation to extend his time with Hera. If Kanan tries to save himself, the conflagration consumed them all. The only way Kanan can prevent this is to draw upon the dark side of the Force. This would have thrown Kanan out of balance with the Force, and put him in very real danger of falling to the dark side. 

Instead, Kanan allows the will of the Force be done: he dies and his time with Hera comes to an end. Hera knows this about Kanan, and has always accepted the possibility he would choose the Rebel cause over their time together. Kanan knows the same of Hera. This mutual respect is the foundation of their love for each other. A Jedi can have a love and a bond with someone as long as they understand that ultimately, if the Force wills them to do something they must do it, regardless of how that affects their lives together.

So, can Grogu live like Kanan? The issue with Grogu, however, is that he already has attachment. His center is his adopted father, Din. Grogu is currently like Anakin, and if Din hands Grogu over to Ahsoka, they will have very Anakin-like troubles. From whom is Grogu going to learn? Ahsoka is unable to teach Grogu how to let go of deep attachment and center on the Force. Ezra Bridger can. 

In the second part of this post, I will discuss how Ezra Bridger is one of the most important Jedi who has ever lived, because he will be able to Grogu learn to let go, attach to the force, love and live, and yet do what needs to be done. 

[sassysnowperson]

💖 your angstiest nightmare fic please

Send me a 💖 and I'll share a fic idea I've had but never written.

Oh...dear. This is not my normal playground. But, that said (evil grin and plotty fingers) good excuse to have some fun. 

Alright, I’ve spent some time thinking about universes where Rogue One survives (don’t worry, it’ll get terrible, just give me a second), and those terrifying days when the plans are lost, nobody knows where Leia is. Like, how miserable would that be? You do all that, and then maybe it’s all for nothing, because the person who got your message got scooped up by Imperial soldiers. 

What if she never comes back? 

You see where I’m going with this, I’m sure. 

It got a little long, so the juicy details are under the cut. (TW Death, War Crimes, implied torture) 

Luke, Han, and Obi-Wan die before they ever rescue Leia. Jabba’s men rig the Falcon to explode, their infiltration scheme fails, SOMETHING happens and bam, they’re gone. Last of the Old Jedi, gone, first of the New Jedi, also gone. Leia’s trapped, and Tarkin has a fully functional battle station with no known weakness. 

And just to make it worse, lets say not everyone made it off of Scarif. Cassian’s gotta live, that man is Pain of Survival made manifest, it’s way worse if he doesn’t manage to sacrifice himself. Kay dies. Jyn too. And...Chirrut. Yes, I think that’s the worst combination. We’ve got guilt-ridden Cassian, traumatized Bodhi, and a completely bereft Baze who lost everything and it counted for *nothing.* Jedha’s still gone. Alderaan too. 

They broke ranks, stole half the alliance’s best personnel and then lost half the alliance’s fleet, and they *failed*. The Rebellion tosses them in a jail cell, and figures they’ll decide what to do with the turncoats later. 

Now, the upside is, there’s no Falcon to track back to Yavin, so Yavin has until Leia breaks. It’s enough time to evac, at least. 

Leia does break, eventually, I’m sure. There’s only so long anyone can hold out, when every lie she tells about where the base is means another planet, gone. Mon Cala, Chandrilla, Nab- 

Tarkin changes his mind about Naboo. He’s rubbing at his throat for weeks after. 

The Empire runs the galaxy, and there is. no. hope. 

Except. 

Cassian spends the first four hours of his imprisonment carefully drafting a mission report (on flimsi, they don’t trust him with a datapad). And in there is what Erso reported to him. There is a weakness. Somewhere in the core. The plans would show how to access it. But even without the plans...a sufficient explosion, detonated inside the core, should still do it. 

Cassian throws himself into planning the mission, scribbling it out on whatever he can get his hands on. He looks more than half-mad. Bodhi feels the failure as entirely personal. He feels helpless, he’s only made everything worse, and the universe  didn’t even have the decency to kill him for it. 

There isn’t anything he could do in the universe to do right by himself, but he drags the tattered remains of his consciousness together and helps where he can. Ship patrols, comm codes, standard battle station layouts. Baze, from his haze of grief and rage, spits curses and little else, at first. But eventually he realizes there’s some solace in vengeance, and he joins in. Squad makeup and weaponry and everything he knew from his dealings with Guerra. 

“Could use him, now,” Baze says, sounding almost regretful.

“He knows how to fight,” Cassian agrees.

Bodhi just flinches.  

They look like madmen, and their guards judge them as such. 

They’re not separated, though. And one month later Draven throws open the door of the cell and says, “Come on, then.” 

Cassian just gets up and follows immediately. Bodhi moves like a whipped dog, expecting to be struck. Cassian turns to him and says, his face made of granite and his eyes entirely blank, “If they were going to kill us, they would have killed us. They’re either going to offer us up to the Empire as a peace treaty, or put us to work.” 

“Please don’t say that first suggestion too loud, Andor,” Draven says, sounding pained. “I’ve kept you in the cell this long so they wouldn’t be tempted to lynch or sell you.” 

Bodhi, inexplicably, is relieved by that. It makes the sort of heartless sense he’s grown to expect from his superior officers. 

The Rebellion is almost entirely ship-based at this point. The remnants of the Mon Cal have nothing left to lose, and their fleet is turned to the Rebellion’s purpose. They are jumping frantically to stay ahead of the Empire that’s burning every safe place to the ground, struggling to find food and fuel and allies that would dare to provide either. It’s a desperate, hungry time, as they plan the counter-strike. 

Leia was right, though. The more Tarkin tightened his grip, the more people slip through his fingers. The Rebellion becomes a feral thing, full of soldiers who have already lost all there is to lose. 

The counter-strike isn’t neat, or elegant. It’s an ugly trojan-horse of a ground crew, Bodhi knew enough about the Empire’s transport logistics to sneak the soldiers in, along with enough explosives to blow up the moon the the Death Star wasn’t. It’s a slog of a firefight, but they punch their way through, into the core, and they wire up the explosives as quickly as they can. 

Next to Cassian, a young tech (seventeen when the Empire blew up her world) starts twitching, choking. Cassian looks up to find a black, looming figure silhouetted in the doorway, holding a shimmering red blade. 

Whatever charges they have, they need to set them, now. Cassian is reaching for the switch when a second red blade emerges, this time from the center of the figure’s chest. He collapses with mechanical moan, revealing a slim young woman, clad all in black, behind him. 

“Captain Andor,” Leia Organa calls as she steps into view. “Apologies for the dramatics, I’m afraid I’ve grown accustomed to using what I have on hand. If you can set those on a delay timer, I’ve secured our exit.” 

Leia is gaunt, sharper than Cassian remembers her. Well, they all are, these days. He dips his head. “I’ll remain behind to ensure they go. Please, do take my team.” 

“No,” Baze says, laying his hand on Cassian’s shoulder. “It’s me.” 

Cassian looks at the depth of loss in Baze’s eyes, and the grim determination there too. Cassian knows this is one battle he won’t win. 

“Of course,” he says, inclining his head. “May the Force be with you.” The words feel alien in his mouth, and Baze flinches. 

“Fuck the Force,” Baze declares. “I’ll be with me.” But then he freezes, and Cassian wonders if he’s hearing the same thing, I am one with the Force and the Force is with me. 

“Of course,” Cassian says again, and Baze gives him a crooked smile. 

“Raze their empire,” Baze orders. 

“I will,” Cassian says, and it’s a promise he intends to keep. 

He leaves, the last of his team to go, and Leia guides them all to the shuttles. They escape. 

Cassian hadn’t planned for an escape. His heart is in his throat as he watches the station, still whole, still whole, and then - white sears across his retinas, and he flinches away from the sight, even as he’s sobbing with the joy of it. He hears Bodhi on his right, breathing slow and steady for the first time since Cassian’s  known him. Leia, on his left, just gives a satisfied grunt.  

Cassian doesn’t look up, so he never sees the way Leia’s eyes don’t flinch away from the explosion. He doesn’t ever wonder why, if the light from the death star is so white it’s shading it to blue, Leia’s eyes are burning gold. 

[jasontoddiefor]

Chapter 7 of As Lightning to the Children eased or as I like to call it: Dooku gets his shit together.

Dooku didn't know how, but Shmi Skywalker had known that something had happened to her child before the call of the Council had even reached them. She had looked up in the middle of her katas, paling rapidly. Dooku had heard of Masters sensing their Padawans' distress before, had experienced such with his own reckless students, but never with such intensity and days' travel in hyperspace away from his children. Still, Shmi continued with her tasks with the same dedication as before her foreboding and did not panic when they got the actual notification two weeks later, telling them that Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi, and Qui-Gon Jinn were already back on Coruscant, apparently all in a miserable condition.

Padawan Skywalker the elder's stance on the whole situation caused Dooku to reconsider his rude behavior during their first meeting. She had known that something was terribly wrong, had felt it deep in her bones when no one else had, and yet she had endured, done her Master proud, and fulfilled their mission first. When they arrived back at the temple, a place Dooku had been away from for too long as he had forgotten the warmth of its embrace, she dutifully made her report to the Council, under the many concerned eyes of the assembled Masters. And only when she had finished her statement, answered all questions, she excused herself and left to visit her son.

If anyone still doubted her place in their order after these actions, Dooku wouldn't hesitate to challenge them himself for her honor, though given her quick wit and skill with the blade, she'd hardly need anyone to fight her battles.

Shmi didn't ask him if he wanted to come with her, but she also didn't stop him when he fell into step with her. She smiled at him, kindly as if she were his Crèchemaster, ready to console him, and not a Padawan as they silently walked to the halls of healing.

Dooku hadn't been there when the Skywalkers had joined the temple, but he had heard of the impossible terror that was Shmi's child.

Yet, somehow, all those rumors couldn't compare to meeting him in person. He looked innocent and human enough, sleeping in his Master's arms, a small togruta child stretched across the both of them. Then, suddenly, he woke and within the blink of an eye, Dooku found himself pinned against a wall, electric blue eyes focused on him with previously unknown intensity.

"Anakin!" Obi-Wan was awake a second later, holding down his student's arm as if that could lessen the pressure on Dooku's chest. "Anakin, stop it, we're home, it's alright."

Disorientated, the child blinked at Dooku, curiosity and confusion entering his gaze as if he were seeing Dooku for the first time. Then whatever might have kept him in a chokehold, stopped and the boy fell back into his Master's arms.

"Obi-Wan?" Anakin sounded puzzled when he spoke up. His voice was rough as if he hadn't spoken in days.

"Hello, Anakin." Though Dooku knew that his grandpadawan was hardly older than twenty-five, the exhaustion wearing him down made him look decades older. "Are you awake now?"

Anakin tilted his head. "Yeah, of course. Why wouldn't I be?"

A shadow passed over Obi-Wan's face. "No reason. Do you know who is visiting us?"

More hastily than before, Anakin's head whipped around and turned into the direction Shmi was standing in. "Mom!" he exclaimed and, after carefully pushing the third child off his lap, he jumped out of bed to rush to his mother. He hugged her tightly, burying his face in her robes. "Mom, I missed you."

Shmi Skywalker, showing no sign of fear, worry, confusion or anything such as that about her son's earlier actions, only embraced him just as tightly.

"I missed you too, Anakin," Shmi said and kissed the top of his head.

Anakin didn't let go of her, but his eyes drifted to the lightsaber clipped to her belt. Without another word, Shmi took it from the belt and handed Anakin the blade. Anakin examined it closely, ran his fingers across the metal hilt before handing it back to his mother. "Your crystals sound nice. I like them."

"I'm glad."

As mother and son continued talking, Dooku managed to get to his feet, still shaken by the assault the others pointedly ignored. He crossed the distance to the bed Obi-Wan and the now yawning youngling were lying on and sat down on it. He disliked showing such weakness, but he couldn't exclude the possibility that his legs might not hold him upright should he continue to stand.

"What was that?" he asked.

Obi-Wan sighed and the youngling whose presence Dooku could not quite explain sat up and gently patted his cheeks, making the young man smile.

"It's a reflex, mostly," Obi-Wan explained. "Anakin isn't quite over what happened yet and lashes out when he thinks we are threatened by something or someone he doesn't recognize."

Obi-Wan's elaboration failed to clear anything up and if the boy didn't look like he hadn't slept in a week, Dooku would claim he was purposefully misdirecting. "We are in the Jedi temple. What is there here that he fears?"

What had Dooku done that Anakin assumed his own lineage would attack him?

The look Obi-Wan was giving him was downright chilling, damning, before it slowly turned into incredulity. "I thought that was why Shmi— You don't sense it, do you?"

He sounded flabbergasted.

"No," Dooku said. "What is there to sense?"

Discomfort and wariness settled in the air, so heavy that Dooku was reminded of the invisible hands around his neck.

"The taint, the poison, the rot clinging to your light," Obi-Wan said slowly. "The darkness."

It sounded like judgement.

X

The first thing Qui-Gon recognized was noise.

It was loud around him, familiar voices speaking out. When he tried to open his eyes, he found the task impossibly challenging. He fought against the voice telling him to rest a little longer, that he didn't have to wake quite yet, but Qui-Gon had always been a stubborn one, unwilling to follow orders he deemed unnecessary.

"Master!"

When light began to fill his vision, Qui-Gon looked into the face of his worried Padawan, missing his braid and looking as distraught as Qui-Gon had seldom seen him before.

"Obi-Wan?" he tried to say, but his voice wasn't cooperating, so whatever left his mouth, it couldn't have been his apprentice's name.

"It's me, Master, yes." Obi-Wan understood him anyway, clever and wise as he was. Qui-Gon had given his Padawan a much too difficult time when he had still been his student and not a Knight of his own regard. He could hardly imagine being any prouder of Obi-Wan than he already was

"Master Qui-Gon!"

His vision became clearer and allowed for him to see Anakin and Ahsoka sitting just beside him on the bed, Shmi behind them and there, right next to her—

"Master."

"Save your strength, Qui-Gon," his Master urged him. If Obi-Wan had looked distressed, Dooku appeared downright hysterical. Qui-Gon was quite ready to believe this was all a hallucination now. As far as he knew, his Master had sworn off returning to the temple for at least another decade and even if he were here, he certainly wouldn't seek out Qui-Gon, no matter how injured.

"Rest some more," the imitation of his Master said. For just the shortest of moments, Qui-Gon was reminded of the time he had been a youngling just a few months older than Anakin and Dooku, not even quite Obi-Wan's age then, had panicked over his sickness. It had only been a mild cold, not the blinding hot pain chaining him to the bed now, but Dooku had told him to rest then with just the same cadence and care.

"Everything will be better after you've slept."

The illusion said the same words as his Master had then and just for that alone, Qui-Gon was inclined to believe him, even if he couldn't sense him, sense any of them properly.

Qui-Gon didn't know how much time passed between the intervals he was actually closer to consciousness and those he was inaccessible to the world. It felt like centuries passed within the blink of an eye. Regardless, whenever he woke, Dooku was there, dutifully sitting at his side as if Qui-Gon were still a child. It was reassuring anyhow.

The morning Qui-Gon woke and didn't feel like he needed to drop right back to sleep, he was greeted by the image of Dooku reading while the children were playing some board games on the bed next to his.

Qui-Gon decided to observe them just a minute longer before he spoke up.

"Am I dreaming, Master?"

Dooku immediately dropped the datapad and the others stopped their game, Qui-Gon's voice breaking this strange atmosphere.

"Qui-Gon!" it came from all sides. "Are you alright?"

He felt half-blind as if he had lost a sense he had always taken for granted, but, staring into the guilt-ridden expression of Anakin, he realized that lying had never been easier. "Yes, of course. What did I miss?"

From the look his lineage was giving him, quite a lot.

X

Ahsoka was young, but she wasn't stupid.

"What happened?" she asked Obi-Wan. The real adults wouldn't tell her anything for sure, but Obi-Wan just might because he was Anakin's the same way she was Anakin's, and he was theirs, and that was all that mattered. "Anakin is different."

He was hurting, though he tried to hide it. His pain and his fear scared him, which in turn only upset Ahsoka. She wanted everyone to be happy and healthy, but the world had shifted when she hadn't been there and it hurt.

"I—" Obi-Wan hesitated, so Ahsoka crossed her arms in front of her chest like she had seen Shmi do when she wanted to know something and nobody was willing to tell her. It made Ahsoka feel taller and more grown-up. Obi-Wan would have to tell her the truth.

"I want to know," she repeated. "Now."

Obi-Wan studied her for a few moments longer, then he sighed. "Anakin did something very foolish and difficult and Qui-Gon did something just as stupid and now everything is a mess."

Ahsoka could tell that he was trying not to use big words with her, but it only felt like he was attempting to get away with saying less.

"What did they do?" Ahsoka asked. "I want to know."

The need was pulsating under her skin, edging her on, licking at her arms like hot flames, urging to demand and not stop until she had forced the truth from his mouth, the ugly thing that was closing his throat.

"Anakin saw something really, really bad and dark," Obi-Wan said. "So Qui-Gon helped him forget that."

"But isn't that good?"

Ahsoka thought it was. It should be. If Qui-Gon took away what had hurt Anakin, then Anakin was going to be better now. That was how helping others worked. The others always said so; Shmi did too. The more you helped, the more did the galaxy heal.

"Yes, technically speaking, but… You know how the Force gives us warnings?"

Yes, of course, she did. Everyone always said to listen to the Force for their knowledge, but the Force had never warned her before she had stubbed her toe, so she wasn't entirely sold on that yet.

"The memories Qui-Gon hid from Anakin were such a warning, so now we don't know what the Force was warning us from and since they are so well hidden to protect him, Anakin won't be able to recognize the danger again when he sees it."

Oh. That really did sound bad. "Did he anything do something stupid then to get back the memories?"

Obi-Wan shook his head. "No, Anakin decided to break the Force a little to keep Qui-Gon here longer."

Ahsoka wondered whether that was the reason Qui-Gon's wound was healing so slowly and no pain medication truly helped. He tried to hide it, but Ahsoka's nose and eyes were better than humans'. She saw him tense, could smell the sickness. Ahsoka bit her lip. "Is that why Qui-Gon's Force is all messed up?"

She didn't know how to describe it in a better way. It felt a little as if Qui-Gon was made up out of strings and someone had cut them and then tied the ropes back together clumsily in haste, leaving a net that could catch his soul, but was incredibly messy.

"A little. There's no telling what messing around with the Force like Anakin did."

(And they wouldn't know for a long while what it meant to force something to live. No matter how good the intentions at that moment, the residue of his actions left Maul awake, alive, alight in the dark side, and screaming.)

"Is he going to be okay again?" Ahsoka asked.

When Obi-Wan didn't reply immediately, she climbed back into his lap and let him wrap his arms around her. Jedi were the happiest when they weren't cold, and her family felt as if they needed a lot of warmth.

"I hope so," Obi-Wan replied. "I really do hope so."

X

For the first time since he had gotten his first gray hair, Qui-Gon actually felt old. He was tired all the time and his control over the Force was atrocious and depended on the time of day, what he had eaten for breakfast, the weather, and whether somewhere halfway across Coruscant somebody had totaled their Speeder, or so it felt to him at least. There was no rhyme or rhythm to whether he could use the Force at all and what his control over it was, not even as his body recovered.

His gut wound hadn't healed entirely yet, and he continued to be haunted by its phantom pains. He knew that it hurt Anakin, that he felt guilty, so Qui-Gon tried to avoid showing any of these weaknesses around the boy, but Anakin was an intelligent child and he noticed it anyway. Qui-Gon wondered if Anakin's sudden clinginess and paranoia resulted from his actions, actions he now had to justify himself for.

"Are you sure you wouldn't prefer to sit?" Plo asked.

Qui-Gon wanted to reply with words as sharp as the edge of a knife, but he shouldn't. Plo was asking him out of worry and because they were friends, not to belittle him or point out his discomfort to him.

"I'm quite sick of sitting and lying down," Qui-Gon confessed. It hurt to admit this weakness, was he fully his Master's Padawan in this aspect, and against what his heart was telling him, he forced himself to say it out loud. "But a chair would be appreciated."

They got a chair for him and so Qui-Gon sat in front of the assembled Council, laying his mind bare for them to see and judge.

"Obi-Wan's report states that Padawan Skywalker had a breakdown as you boarded the ship to Naboo again. Is this correct?"

"Yes."

"And following this breakdown, you put a heavy mind block on him. Is this true as well?"

"Yes," Qui-Go replied, or maybe it would be more correct to claim he apologized.

He didn't regret saving Anakin then. It had come at a high price, his own mind still bleeding where he had cut himself on the kyber crystals of Anakin's soul, but he regretted that it had come to this at all. Trifling with a mind like this was nothing that could be taken lightly, and had the Council not asked to see him, Qui-Gon would have accused them of negligence. "I saw no other choice."

"What did you saw in his mind that forced you to act like this?" Mace asked.

"I saw a reflection of his own state of being, I suppose." His words sounded stuporous, too carelessly chosen, but he didn't know how else to describe this feeling. The more he attempted to elaborate on what he had seen, the more he realized that their language lacked the terms he needed

"I don't think the Force was meant to be anything more than something that binds the world together," Qui-Gon declared. "But Anakin… His existence defies that. He is the Force incarnate and it hurts him, subconsciously. The Force is endless and in Anakin, they have to constrain themself to a body with mortal limits, a fact which unsettles him down to his core when he becomes aware of it. From my observations, which I fail to describe accurately here and I fear to share with the state of my own mind and control, merely having consciousness is unsuitable for a being such as Anakin. We have all heard the voice of the Force, its call and its will, but it doesn't want as we do, as mortals might."

"But Anakin does," Plo continued his thought. "So you have the Force turned sentient, which goes against everything they ever were before, and suddenly they have to deal with the fact that Anakin has wants and needs that go beyond that of his parent."

"Yes," Qui-Gon agreed. "I think – or at least the way Anakin perceived it – the Force is shackling themself with his existence, in his existence. He became aware of it through a factor I have not yet determined, and that resulted in his breakdown."

"And so you decided to cover up these shackles."

"I did."

It was the only way he could have stopped Anakin from self-destructing.

X

The Force had shifted for the third time in less than a decade after so many years of slowly eroding away.

It was strange. Where once it was clouded, twisted, and shadowed as his Master and his Master's Master had crafted it, there was a rift now, a clearing.

It was shedding light on objects that should not be seen.

Darth Sidious pulled the shadows closer around himself and, throwing one last glance at his Master's dead body, decided to investigate.

He had need for an apprentice.

[typewrittenluck]

Sorry General

AN: Okay hehe this is my first time ever posting a fic so be nice :/. It’s basically just self-indulgent Obi-Wan angst-fluff because I miss him and I’m excited for the new show. This takes place during The Clone Wars, Season 2, Episode 10. But you don’t have to watch it to understand what’s going on. Anyways enjoy!

Word Count: 2130

Warnings: None, Anakin being a lil’ shit

(gif creds to owner)

General Grievous had escaped yet again. It seemed as if every time the Jedi came close to capturing the sleaze ball, he would slip right through your hands. You could sense the tension in the air as everyone onboard the landing craft shared your anxiety, which increased your frustration by every person that you could feel through the force. It of course didn’t help that you were sent down to capture Grievous with none other than Obi-Wan Kenobi, who always had a knack for making you agitated.

As soon as the ship's doors opened, you began to take long strides out, already beginning to scope out the area and make mental notes of factors that might be influential to your mission.

At General Kenobi’s command, you and the troops began to move towards the wreckage of Grievous’s ship in hopes of finding something that would lead you to the General himself. 

After scouting out the ship, Rex determined that the General couldn’t have been far off.

“We’ll split into teams. Rex, take Jesse, Hardcase, Kix, and Y/N and search those wetlands.” Obi-Wan said, gesturing vaguely in your direction.

“Actually, Kenobi,” you spat, “Seeing as I am a General, and therefore rank above Captian Rex, I will lead the troops to conduct a search of the wetlands.”

“Oh, right, of course General Y/N. I wouldn’t want to undermine your notable past with leading battalions and strategy missions.” His voice dripped with sarcasm.

“Why I ought to-”

“Excuse me, Generals, if I may,” Rex stepped in between you two. “we really shouldn’t get distracted from the situation at hand.”

“Yes, of course Captain.” you replied, still glaring at Obi-Wan. “We should get going”

“Right. Cody, you, Crys, and I will pick it up from here.” said Obi-Wan. “Oh, and one more thing,” he said, turning to face you. “If you get a visual on General Grievous, for the love of the force Master Y/N, make contact before you make any rash decisions to engage.”

“From the two of us, Master Kenobi,” you replied, “It is not I who have a track record of making rash decisions.”

Once you were out of earshot, Cody spoke up. “Forgive me General, but you seem worried. I’m sure that General Y/N and Rex are capable of handling this. They are both very wise individuals.”

Obi-Wan stroked his beard, apparently deep in thought. “Yes. Wise indeed.”

                                                  -----------------------

You felt a tug on the force and turned around just in time to see Rex get shot by a Commando droid. 

“REX!” you screamed, as you and the clones rushed over to him.

Jesse and Hardcase finished off the last few droids before joining the small crowd gathering around Rex. It was deemed that the safest plan was to find shelter for the night, so that Rex could heal.

You and the clones made sure that Rex was as comfortable as possible and well-taken care of in the barn that you had secured a place in before you hopped on your speeders and continued your search of the wetlands. 

“General, if it’s not too personal to ask, why do you and General Kenobi seem to fight about everything?” Jesse piped up after a little while.

“That is an extremely inappropriate question to ask your commanding officer soldier.” you snapped back.

“Right. Sorry.”

But it was too late. The question opened the floodgates that you worked so hard to keep closed. The overpowering emotions that you trapped behind a wall came rushing out and now, that was all that you could think about.

The constant questions. Why did Obi-Wan hate you? Why did he feel like you were inferior? Why is he so adamant that you shouldn’t be in charge of battles?

The constant anxiety. What if it’s a reflection of what the council thinks of me? What if everyone else feels that way too and they are just better at hiding it? What if I pass on my incompetence to my Padawan?

And above all, the crippling guilt. You were guilty because you felt responsible for him not liking you. You felt guilty because you broke the code. You felt guilty. Because you loved Obi-Wan Kenobi.

                                           ---------------------------------

Obi-Wan had been a Padawan for a mere two weeks, when a young girl from Dantooine had opened the doors to the Jedi temple, leading the way for an amused group of older Jedi. She had begun her training not long thereafter. On her first day, she walked into the training room and looked around, scoping out the area to decide where she would be comfortable. To Obi-Wan’s surprise, she picked a spot next to him. 

Since that fateful day, their friendship blossomed, mainly due to the fact that their masters, Qui Gon Jinn and Ki-Adi-Mundi, were good friends. Obi-Wan and Y/N became very close. Closer, in fact, than any member of the Jedi order should become to another lifeform. But it was inevitable. The two were so alike and their personalities clashed together perfectly, as if the force had made it so that the two would meet. All of the older Jedi sensed the rising emotions in the two young apprentices, and they felt the need to take preventative measures. So when a mission with an indefinite length popped up on the faraway land of Mandalore, the council saw it as the best opportunity to give the two a break from each other. They sent Obi-Wan on a year long trip to ensure the safety of Mandalores sovereign ruler, Satine Kryze.

Y/N spent her time away from her best friend meditating on her emotions, and came to the conclusion that she had fallen for him. It was against the code. It was against her plan. But she had fallen, and fallen hard.

Obi-Wan ended up with a similar conclusion, after realizing that his emotions towards Satine were anything but new feelings, and he had experienced those same emotions a hundred times stronger towards Y/N.

The problem was that the two apprentices dealt with their feelings in completely different ways. Y/N became awkward and always on edge, and Obi-Wan saw it best to cut her out of his life as much as possible.

Which led them to where they were now. Grown members of the Jedi order who were still harboring childhood crushes on each other, buried deep, deep down.

                                      --------------------------------------------

You were cut out of your train of thought by Obi-Wans voice.

 “Captain Rex, come in please.”

“This is Y/N, Rex was injured.” you replied, still a little dazed by your sudden surge of emotion.

“What’s his condition?”

“He’ll be fine, but we had to find him shelter for the night.”

“Grievous is on the move. We’re headed to the West.” said Obi-Wan. “Swing around and we can meet up at the final escape pod. We’re going to need all of the firepower that we can muster.”

“Alright, we’re on our way.” you said, sharply turning your speeder around as the clones did the same.

                                       --------------------------------------------

You arrived at Obi-Wans position just as you saw a ship attempting to land. You ran into the fray of flying bullets and disembodied droid limbs, jabbing and parrying with your lightsaber to get to Obi-Wan.

“Concentrate your fire on that ship!” he roared to the tanks.

He got distracted by his wrist-com and didn't see a laser ray coming straight at the back of his neck. 

“Keep firing. Don't let that ship land.” he said, as you jumped behind him, drawing your lightsaber to deflect the bullet. He seemed shocked by your sudden appearance.

“I believe a thank you, Master Y/N, is in order.” you dead-panned.

He rolled his eyes, but mumbled an unintelligible thanks.

“The guns are overheated!” you heard a clone say from his wrist-com.

“It’s always something.” Obi-Wan grumbled in response. “Cody, Jesse, cover me!”

“Wait!” you exclaimed after him. “Where are you- oh nevermind.” you sighed as you saw him speed towards Grievous. You sprinted after him, knowing that he would need help.

He began fighting the foul droid General, their battle just a blur of blue and green light.

Just as you arrived at the fight, Grievous was climbing up the side of the ship. “Forget trying to land.” he growled in his raspy voice. You, however, were preoccupied with Obi-Wan who was knocked to the side. He groaned as you knelt by him, reaching feebly behind you as you heard Grievous say “Fire the engines.”

He was lifted into the night sky, narrowly dodging clone bullets as he laughed maniacally. “Jedi scum!”

“Are you alright?” you asked him.

“No.” he sighed in frustration. “We’re right back where we started!”

He called back to Cody. “Call the cruisers, see if they can stop that ship! And tell them to send someone to pick us up.”

You sensed his frustration and heard the defeat in his voice.

“Obi-Wan,” you started tentatively.

“What?” he snapped, his anger evident.

“I know it seems like a total failure-”

“Oh but it is!” he cut you off with contempt. “I’ve lost countless troops, just trying to capture Grievous, and now he’s right there. And I let him slip right past my fin-”

“No!” you cut him off this time. “This kind of talk is what leads to anger. You and I both know that anger leads you down the path of the dark side. This isn’t your fault Obi-Wan.”

Calling him by his first name is what, over all the other things, seemed to get through his head. “You don’t,” he stopped, looking into your eyes. “Blame me?”

And in that moment, standing in an empty battlefield in the middle of Saleucami, you both knew that he was talking about much more than this lost battle.

“You’ve done all that you can do. You did what you thought was right.” you replied.

He opened his mouth to speak but was cut off by Cody, saying that the transport had arrived to take you all back to the main ship. You two held eye contact for a brief moment before turning and heading in the direction that Cody had gone.

                                        ----------------------------------

You stood in the bridge, looking out of the enormous window with Admiral Yularen right beside you. A droid came up behind you two and tapped you on the shoulder.

“Jedi Master Y/N, Jedi Master Obi-Wan requests your presence.”

“How is he?” you asked.

“He is doing well! He has sustained only minor injuries and will heal very soon!” the droid replied chirpily.

“That’s a relief. Where does he want me to meet him?”

“His private quarters, I believe.”

“Top secret Jedi business, I presume.” chuckled Yularen as you blushed a bright red. You had a sneaking suspicion that this had nothing to do with the Jedi order.

                                     -----------------------------------

“Y/N.” He greeted you, bowing his head and using the force to close the door behind you.

“Obi-Wan.”

“I’m sorry.” he blurted, taking you a little by surprise by his bluntness. “I know that I confused you and I make you feel unwanted at times and I am the reason our friendship was ruined and I promise I have an explanation which is no excuse but you deserve to know why I-” he stopped rambling when he saw your raised eyebrows and caught himself. 

He took a deep breath before beginning again.

“I had a lot of time to think when I was on Mandalore. But I kept thinking about the same thing. You. I couldn’t stop. And it was all that got me through each day, the thought of your face, and your smile, and your laugh. But that’s against the code. And the only way that I could get over you was to cut you off. But it didn’t work because by the stars and the planets Y/N, I love you. I care deeply for Jedi traditions and maintaining the code, but I love you Y/N. I’m sorry.”

“Oh Obi,” you sighed, stepping closer to him. “I realized it same as you. We have been drawn to each other since we met. It’s almost as if the force wanted us to be. And every day since that day that you left for Mandalore, I have looked at the sunrise, hoping that one day, it will bring light to what we once had.” You placed your hand on his scruffy cheek and stroked his jaw as he leaned into your touch. “I love you too.”

He pulled you into a hug, burying his face into your hair as you wrapped your arms tightly around his waist.

“Master- Oh! Sorry!” Anakin walked in, making you and Obi-Wan leap to opposite sides of the room, both of you burning a bright crimson color. Anakin’s eyes darted between the two of you, a smirk growing on his face. 

“Not a word, Anakin.” Obi-Wan said sternly, already having an idea of the things that he knew that his former Padawan would say.

AN Again: I just really want a hug from this man 

[sonderwalker]

OKAY YOU GET A PROMPT TOO

“you’re a little mixed up right now. ” from the fever prompts

❤️❤️❤️

aaaaaaaaa i actually had to think about what to write for this one but i have thought of something, so yay! it’s a continuation of your drabble that I requested from you, which you can read here and it’s from this prompt list!

It was now the end of the week, and Obi-Wan sat at his desk, scrolling through his emails. The sun was lower in the sky, telling that soon evening would be here, despite the fact that it was only just past four in the afternoon.

The windows of his office were closed, but he could still feel a chill coming through. The weather for the entire week had been cold and wet, teetering on snowing, and then would be just warm enough to rain during the day. Only for it to freeze over at night.

And while the weather annoyed him, it didn’t concern him. What concerned him was ever since that last email from Anakin, he hadn’t heard anything from him. And while part of him was saying that this was because he wanted his sweater back, another larger part of him could not deny the concern that had slowly beginning to build as the week progressed, and he still heard nothing.

He knew that the flu was nothing to joke about, and there had been a particularly bad strain that was circulating around the campus, causing several of his own students to end up in the hospital.

He refreshed his email, doing the best to put the thought of Anakin in the hospital out of his mind.

And his eyes widened when he saw a new email in his inbox- not from another student trying to explain why their paper was late, but it was from Anakin, who for the first time in four days, had responded.

He quickly opened the email, clicking on it several times and trying to ignore the way his heart seemed to beat a little faster in his chest as he did so.

‘Sorry for not responding sooner, I’m still pretty sick’ It began, and Obi-Wan immediately felt his heart sink into his chest, the guilt slowly building up from even asking Anakin when he could meet up to get his sweater back.

‘I think I’ll be feeling well enough tomorrow if you want to stop by my place and pick it up? I probably shouldn’t be going out.’  Anakin suggested, and Obi-Wan couldn’t help but smile here. Anakin was a selfless person, almost to a fault most of the time, and while at times it was frustrating, it was also at other times endearing. And this was one of those times.

‘Here’s my address, and my number. Text me when you’re outside!’  And that was the end of it. Obi-Wan stared at the numbers on the bottom of the screen, blinking several times. 

And while he had intended to ask Anakin for his personal contact information at some point, he didn’t intend to get it like this. And while he wasn’t upset at the fact that this was how he got it, he was concerned that perhaps Anakin felt pressured to return the sweater. As far as Obi-Wan was concerned, Anakin could keep it for as long as he liked, especially if he was still as sick as he was saying.

But he also had to consider that Anakin probably would not see and respond to another email in time for Obi-Wan to tell him that it was more than alright that he keep the sweater until he felt better. That he didn’t mind at all, and that he was happy that Anakin was getting some use out of it.

His eyes scanned over the phone number at the bottom of the screen again, before slowly pulling out his phone and entering it as a new contact.

It felt strange.

On the surface, there was nothing strange about what he was doing, but it felt strange in his heart, and he didn’t want to think about why. Not yet, at least.

But it was now the next day, and Obi-Wan found himself staring down at a map on his phone, the destination being Anakin’s apartment building. It was close to the campus, and located where he knew a lot of students lived. There were also professors that lived in the nearby neighborhood, and so it was a place that Obi-Wan was familiar with.

The building was only a ten minute drive from where he currently was, which was not his own residence, but a convenience store. He had told himself, that if Anakin was going through all of this trouble to return the sweater despite still clearly being unwell, the least he could do was show up with something nice in return.

Which is how he found himself purchasing some cold and flu medicine, and a box of tea that he was surprised that they carried, but knew that he always enjoyed drinking when he felt unwell.

Grabbing the bag that the cashier placed them in, Obi-Wan quickly walked back out of the store and continued on his way.

‘I’m outside.’ Obi-Wan typed out but then deleted it. He didn’t want to be too blunt, be he also didn’t want to appear vague. He looked down at the empty message bubble and sighed, watching as his breath turned into a cloud of vapor in front of his face.

‘Hello Anakin, It’s Obi-Wan, and I am outside of your building.’  Was that too formal?

He hit send.

It was probably too formal. Obi-Wan groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose.

He stood out in the cold, shifting his weight from one foot to the other, trying his best to not worry too much. People came and went into and out of the building, but there was no sight of Anakin. 

And when their was, Obi-Wan felt a mix of emotions.

First was the initial rush of seeing Anakin that always happened, which was quickly replaced by a frown as he noticed that if anything, Anakin looked worse now than he had at the beginning of the week. He had traded in his thin hoodie for a thicker one, and had the hood pulled over his head. Jeans were replaced by thicker lounge pants, but he was still wearing the same sneakers that he had worn when Obi-Wan last saw him.

Bundled under one arm was the sweater that Obi-Wan had lent him, and the other arm had been brought up towards his face as he coughed harshly into his elbow.

“Sorry this took so-” Anakin began, his voice raspy as he opened the door for Obi-Wan to walk inside.

“You can keep it.” Obi-Wan found himself saying before he had the chance to think of anything else.

“What?” Anakin asked, his voice cracking. He turned aside to cough again before facing Obi-Wan.

“You need it more than I do,” Obi-Wan pointed out, trying to stay as cool and collected as possible.

Anakin blinked at him several times before running a hand over his face.

“I thought you said you wanted it back?” He asked again before turning away to sneeze.

“I did, but had I known that you were still this sick earlier, I wouldn’t have bothered.” Obi-Wan replied with a shrug.

“But... you wanted it back?” Anakin asked again, narrowing his eyes and now Obi-Wan didn’t know if he should laugh or if he should be concerned.

“You seem a little mixed up right now, Anakin.” Obi-Wan noted as he rested a hand on Anakin’s shoulder.

He could feel how Anakin was both trembling and radiating too much heat at the same time. They both stared at each other for a moment, before Obi-Wan let go of Anakin, handing him the bag that was in his other hand.

“And you sound like you could use what’s in here,” Obi-Wan said as Anakin took the bag and opened it.

“You didn’t have to get me all of this,” Anakin whispered hoarsely, looking down at the contents of the bag.

“On the contrary, Anakin you sound horrible.” Obi-Wan replied. 

“And I have had several students already end up in the hospital because of this strain of the flu, so I do in fact, think that you needed at least something.”

“Thanks,” Anakin whispered, looking back up at Obi-Wan and smiling softly. But the moment was ruined when Anakin turned away to cough again, and Obi-Wan winced at how it sounded.

“Alright, I think it’s time you head back to bed.” Obi-Wan said after Anakin was done.

Anakin rolled his eyes, a small smile on his face. “Thanks again,” He said softly, crossing his arms over his torso as the door behind them opened, letting in more cold air.

“Think nothing of it, I just want you to get better,” Obi-Wan replied while waving his hand.

“I’ll see you next week?” Anakin asked as Obi-Wan turned to leave.

“Only if you’re well enough to be back, otherwise I will not hesitate to have you go home, as much as I enjoy your company.”

“You enjoy my company?” Anakin asked while sniffling several times.

“Yes, and as much as I’d love to stay and talk, I can see that you’re shivering, and should probably be back in bed.” Obi-wan pointed out. 

“But can we talk later?” Anakin asked, his tone cautious but hopeful.

“When you’re better, we can talk.” Obi-Wan replied, before turning to leave again, feeling the cold winter air contrast the burning of his cheeks.

What was he thinking?

[dettiot]

For a prompt: The Republic (or Jedi Council) finding about Anakin and Padmé really early in the Clone Wars.

“Obi-Wan, I don’t understand what’s happening,” Anakin said as they walked into the Senate Building. 

“Neither do I, but I’m sure all will be revealed shortly,” Obi-Wan said. 

Anakin knew his Master wasn’t nearly as calm as he was acting. Not with the way his hand kept smoothing over his beard. 

“Perhaps it’s something about formulating strategy for the next battle?” Anakin wondered out loud. “Or maybe we’re being sent to negotiate with the Separatists.” 

“You sound more excited about peace negotiations than battle,” Obi-Wan said, looking at him. “That’s not like you.” 

Shruggling his shoulders, he followed Obi-Wan towards Chancellor Palpatine’s office. If the war was already over, that meant he would be able to spend more time with Padme--that they could maybe even sneak away to Naboo for a real honeymoon. 

As they approached the Chancellor’s office, Anakin felt Padme’s familiar presence and frowned in confusion. His frown only deepened when they entered the room and found not just Padme, but three other Senators along with Masters Yoda and Mace, sitting before Chancellor Palpatine’s desk. 

“Ah, Anakin and Master Kenobi. Now that you’re here, we can begin,” the Chancellor said, his voice sounding smooth and unruffled. But there was a flicker of something in his presence that made Anakin wonder. 

“What brings all of us here?” Obi-Wan said, not taking the last empty chair and remaining by Anakin’s side. 

A heavy silence seemed to fall over the whole room, and Anakin saw Master Mace exchange glances with one of the Senators--Senator Organa from Alderaan, he thought. 

It seemed like the Senator got the wrong end of the rancor, because he said in a pleasant voice, “Master Skywalker, I understand your astromech droid was recently selected for a random security screening.” 

“Yes, he was,” Anakin said, his confusion growing. Especially when he realized that screening had been scheduled two days ago and he hadn’t seen R2 since. “Is something wrong? R2 is very important to me--I’m sure he hasn’t been sabotaged--”

“Nothing like that,” Senator Organa said. “However, there was some holofootage discovered . . . footage of a troubling nature.” 

Anakin felt a spike of fear from Padme. He couldn’t help glancing over at her, not sure why she was feeling like that. 

“You and Senator Amidala, the footage showed,” Master Yoda said quietly. “A marriage ceremony, it appears, being performed.” 

They knew. 

A wave of emotions crashed over Anakin. Padme’s fear intensified and sharpened. Obi-Wan’s shock and betrayal. Sadness and disappointment from Yoda and Mace.

And . . . rage from the Chancellor. 

Anakin looked at the man who he considered a mentor and blinked, wondering why the Chancellor was so mad. 

Giving his head a shake, Anakin looked at Padme, focusing on her right now. Because it didn’t matter what happened to him. What mattered was Padme. 

He stepped over towards her and rested a hand on her shoulder. She reached up and clasped his hand tightly, then looked around the room. 

“Yes. Anakin and I are married.”

“Broken the Jedi Code, you have, young Skywalker,” Master Yoda said mournfully. 

“This isn’t good, Padme,” Senator Farr said, not unkindly. “The political repercussions . . . marrying a Jedi, throwing the Grand Army of the Republic into upheaval . . .” 

 The Chancellor’s voice was cold. “The people of the Chommell Sector will not accept their Senator acting so rashly. Putting the personal before the people.” 

“That isn’t what Padme’s done at all--” Anakin said hotly, rising to her defense, but Padme gripped his hand tighter, making him stop talking. 

His beautiful, smart, amazing wife rose to her feet, shifting to keep her hold on his hand. 

“I refuse to believe that my people would think I have done something wrong by marrying the man I love,” Padme said, her voice commanding and strong in its softness. “Of course, I will speak to Queen Jamillia, seeking her advice and offering my resignation if she so desires. But I believe that marrying my partner does not reflect any shirking of my duties.” 

Anakin couldn’t help squeezing Padme’s hand as his heart swelled with love. She wasn’t trying to hide their marriage. She called him the man she loved. She called him her partner. 

Senator Organa exchanged looks with the female Senator who had remained silent, until now. “Senator Amidala, no one denies your committment to the people you represent or to the Senate you serve in,” she said in a melodic voice. “Yet Master Skywalker, being a Jedi, has a responsibility to the Order that outstrips any committment he could make to you.” 

“Indeed, Senator Mothma,” Master Mace said. “If Senator Amidala has violated any regulations, it will be up to the Senate to determine her fate. Just like the Jedi Council will deal with Skywalker.” 

“There aren’t any regulations--” Padme began, her voice drowned out in the chorus of voices from the Senators. 

There wasn’t anything Anakin could say, knowing nothing about the Senate’s rules. And honestly? He was more worried about Obi-Wan’s reaction right now. 

His Master hadn’t said a word. And his Force presence was . . . odd. Obi-Wan always felt like a cool, vast, gentle ocean to Anakin. But right now, that ocean was disrupted by cold winds whipping the water into vast, towering waves. 

Stepping towards Obi-Wan, Anakin said quietly, “I’m sorry, Master, for--for not telling you . . .” 

Obi-Wan looked at him, his eyes distant and full of sadness. Anakin stared, feeling lost and confused and almost scared, at this reaction. 

“Senators, Senators! Please,” the Chancellor said, his voice sharp. “The four of you cannot decide Senator Amidala’s fate--that would be for the full Senate.”

“Of course, Chancellor,” Senator Organa said. 

Without even a nod of acknowledgement, the Chancellor turned towards the Jedi in the room. “While Senator Amidala’s punishment, if any, is unknown, I believe that there is guidelines for a Jedi who has . . . erred, as Anakin has?” 

It was odd, how the Chancellor was acting. He was normally the first to defend Anakin in any situation, to tell Anakin he was blameless when he was swamped with guilt. 

No one spoke for a long, seemingly eternal moment. “To be married is a violation of the Jedi Code,” Master Mace finally said. “It is an attachment, and a Jedi must be without attachments.” 

“The path to the Dark Side, it is,” Master Yoda said. “Exceptions, however, have been made. Master Mundi, to preserve the Cerean race, permitted wives.” 

“A very rare exception,” Master Mace said in a chilly voice. “And he came to the Council and sought his exception. Skywalker hid his attachment because he knew if discovered, he would be expelled from the Order.” 

“For the Council to decide, it is,” Master Yoda said firmly. “A fair hearing, must be granted young Skywalker.” 

Anakin nearly snorted. Sure, a fair hearing. He was sure to get that from the Jedi Council. Padme nudged him and Anakin did his best to keep his face from showing what he was thinking. 

The Chancellor frowned and looked at Obi-Wan. “Master Kenobi, you know Anakin best. What are your thoughts on this matter?” 

As he looked at his Master, Anakin could still sense the hurricane of Obi-Wan’s emotions. And he didn’t understand why Obi-Wan was reacting like this. Obi-Wan was the perfect Jedi--everyone knew that. He lived by the Code and never accepted any violation of it. Anakin would understand if his Master felt hurt or angry at him. But he wasn’t. 

The ocean of Obi-Wan’s presence was filled with sadness and regret. 

Obi-Wan visibly swallowed, tucking his hands into the sleeves of his robes. “I believe that while Anakin must be punished . . . I do not believe he should be expelled.” 

“Of course you believe that,” Master Mace said sarcastically. 

“I agree with Master Kenobi,” Senator Farr said, drawing the attention of everyone in the room. “He’s one of our finest generals--the GAR would be crippled without him.” 

“It’s not for the sake of the war that I believe Anakin should remain a Jedi,” Obi-Wan said, heading off any attempts to change the subject. 

Anakin looked at Padme, whose face was as confused as Anakin felt. 

Obi-Wan’s eyes swept around the room, before landing on Anakin. “From his first days of training, Anakin has struggled to live by the Code. Due to his upbringing before arriving at the Temple, it was not possible for him to not become attached to those he cares about. I do not think that, in Anakin’s case, continuing to fight against attachments is a wise choice. I think such struggle opens him to the Dark Side.” 

“Obi-Wan--” Anakin said, taking a step towards him. Because he couldn’t understand why Obi-Wan was defending him like this. 

His Master glanced at Anakin for a moment, before looking at Masters Yoda and Mace. “And if Anakin is expelled, I feel I have no choice but to leave the Order as well. We are taught that only a Sith deals in absolutes--yet the Jedi Code is treated as absolute within the Order. This dichotomy cannot continue, now that we have Anakin as an example of why the Code does not work.” 

On one side of the room, the Senators shifted in their chairs. Masters Mace and Yoda were staring at Obi-Wan. Anakin gripped Padme’s hand tighter, hoping he wasn’t hurting her but needing to cling to her in the midst of this whirlwind. 

And suddenly the Chancellor rose to his feet. There was a brittleness to his voice when he said, “This is a matter for the Senate and the Council to decide. I am a busy man and must ask you all to withdraw, to start your deliberations on the fate of Senator Amidala and Master Skywalker.” 

Strangely, as they all bowed or curtsied, offering the Chancellor their thanks before exiting the room, all Anakin could think about was how it was the first time all day that the Chancellor had called him anything other than Anakin. 

But really, that was a puzzle he could unravel another day. For now, he had to defend his marriage to Padme, give Padme every bit of support he could, and prevent Obi-Wan from throwing away his life in the Order for Anakin’s sake. 

Because he wasn’t worth it. What mattered was keeping Padme and Obi-Wan happy and in the roles they loved to perform. 

After all, Anakin knew he would be happiest when they were happy. 

End.

[thought-42]

Clone Wars fic Day One

So @stoppit-keepout gave me 'Abdicate' as a prompt word, and this sprung forth, but SK I promise I will write you something else for a fandom you're actually in. Meanwhile, please enjoy the first chunk of a very random modern au featuring cody and Obi-Wan being goddamn disasters. Hopefully there will be a new slice of this universe every day until New Years, but who the hell knows.

Obi-Wan meets Cody at the Big Brothers Big Sisters Christmas party. He's there with Anakin, who has just been kicked out of another foster home and is clearly feeling celebratory as a result. Obi-Wan has given up asking about the experiences Anakin has that lead him to prefer group homes or sleeping rough, but he can make some educated guesses.

Ahsoka and Plo are there as well, having shown up early along with Wolffe to set up the decorations. They're all showing off the official adoption papers to whoever will stand still long enough to read them, and Wolffe and Ahsoka don't say anything to each other without including "sister" or "brother" somewhere in the 'address while Plo looks on like he's never realized his life could be this perfect.

"Hey, big brother," Ahsoka says, "is your cousin coming? I think Kix will like him."

"They'll be here as long as Rex's car can make it," Wolffe says. "They were going to pick up Jesse from his grandma's, so they might get stuck in bridge traffic."

"Rex's car is held together with literal duct tape," Anakin explains in an aside to Obi-Wan. "I keep telling him I can fix it, but he won't let me."

"I didn't know Rex's brother was going to mentor Kix," Obi-Wan says.

"It's not official," Ahsoka says.

"There will be a proper introduction," Plo assures him. "Cody has already been approved, but you know how Kix is."

"Smarter than anyone they've paired him up with?" Obi-Wan says, calmly. He's rather defensive of Kix, even not having a particularly close relationship with him. He's had to train himself out of his impatience with people who can't keep up with him, and he can appreciate Kix's unwillingness to waste his time. Qui-Gon would scold him for such thoughts, but Qui-Gon is currently half way across the country at some sort of plants and yoga retreat instead of spending the holidays with his wife or his step-father or his not-really son and the child who worships the ground he walks on.

It's fine. Obi-Wan isn't bitter. Tahl is spending Christmas Eve drinking wine with her coworkers from the library, and Obi-Wan and Anakin are here, and Christmas Day they'll all trek across the city to Dooku's disgustingly fancy mansion for an awkward Christmas meal and criticism of their life choices. At least with Qui-Gon absent everything should remain civil. Unless Anakin's teenaged bravado has developed further in the past year. Obi-Wan is doing Anakin the favour of pretending to believe him when he says he doesn't care about Qui-Gon's absence. He suspects Anakin is doing the same for him, which is uncomfortable for a whole host of reasons.

"I think Kix and Cody will get along," Wolffe says, tongue between his teeth as he carefully glues googly eyes on a felt snowman. Obi-Wan catches Plo snapping a photo, clearly amused.

Obi-Wan lets himself get dragged into the cookie decorating catastrophe happening on the other side of the room, and he remains entirely engrossed until Mace claps his hands and shouts, "Pizza's ready, I need two volunteers to go across and pick it up, who's going with Kenobi?"

Obi-Wan throws up his sugar-coated hands indignantly. "What have I ever done to you, Mace? Am I not a delight, a breath of orderly, reliable, and charming fresh air—"

"I'll go," someone says, and Rex appears out of nowhere to shove Obi-Wan toward the coat wrack. There's a dark-haired man already there, snow still caught on the collar of his jacket, clearly not having been inside long enough even to settle in.

Obi-Wan sighs dramatically for the entertainment of the younger children, but the way he wipes the icing off his hands on Mace's jacket is entirely for himself. The dark-haired man, Rex's brother, he has to be, frowns severely at him. Obi-Wan smiles brightly.

He pulls on his coat and winds his scarf around his neck and over most of his face.

"I'm Obi-Wan," he says. "And yes, this scarf was a gift and I will be guilted terribly should I not wear it."

"Cody," he says. "I'm Rex's brother?"

"Yes," Obi-Wan says. "I had guessed as much."

"Present from your grandmother?" Cody asks, holding the door for Obi-Wan.

"The scarf? No, no, my... semi-absent father figure, actually. His step father bought him a book on knitting as a teenager and he has somehow maintained the habit without improving his skills over the past thirty years."

"Ahh," Cody says, uncertainly. "So have you been involved..." Cody waves a gloved hand uncertainly. "With this, I mean— this is the first time I've been to any sort of event—"

"No, no," Obi-Wan says, understanding the question because it is exhaustingly familiar. Because clearly only people with biological nuclear families have healthy and ideal childhoods. "No, I only got involved a few years ago. Qui-Gon, my... father, met Anakin at the food bank. Anakin was there with his mother and Qui-Gon was volunteering, because sometimes he remembers that he grew up rich and has week-long bouts of frantic guilt-induced philanthropy. Anakin became quite attached to him, and when his mother passed away we spent a great deal of time helping him through the fallout. Naturally, Qui-Gon lost interest shortly after, but by then Anakin's social worker had gotten us involved in BBBS."

"I presume he hasn't improved at emotional intelligence with age, either? Given his absence."

Obi-Wan laughs, startled. "Not at all, actually. And you, what brings you here? Did Rex wear you down?"

"He told me about Kix," Cody says. "Admittedly this isn't my first choice when it comes to giving back to the community, but I wouldn't feel right knowingly walking away from a job for which I'm uniquely suited."

"It's not a job," Obi-Wan says, sharply.

"I'm sorry," Cody says. "You're right."

They cross the intersection in silence. None of the sidewalks are shovelled and Obi-Wan swallows down his irritated rant.

"I said that poorly," Cody says, hunching his shoulders. "I only meant that this level of social interaction and engagement with strangers— I'm not good at it. That's all I meant."

Obi-Wan, who has never particularly experienced or understood this sort of struggle, smiles sympathetically. "Of course, very understandable."

Cody's eyebrows go up. "I'm sure. You don't need to lie to spare my feelings."

Obi-Wan jerks open the door to the pizza restaurant harder than he intends to. "I apologize."

"I wasn't offended."

Inside the heat is stifling in contrast to the chill of late afternoon. Obi-Wan huffs a breath through his scarf and steps up to the counter. "They need two minutes," Obi-Wan tells Cody once he's exchanged words with the person behind the counter.

They lean together against the wall, dishwater dull sunlight splashed across the tiles at their feet. A drop of sweat creeps down Obi-Wan's spine.

"You should take your scarf off," Cody says, after a moment, like he's been trying to stop himself.

Obi-Wan blinks uncertainly, then agreeably pulls the scarf of his face, loosening the loops around his neck and unzipping his jacket a few inches.

Cody stares out the window. "Sorry. You're obviously hot," he says. "It's boiling in here."

Obi-Wan doesn't know what to say, given that he has absolutely no reason to have left the scarf pulled up and thus has no leg to stand on when it comes to the oddity of the moment.

Back at the community centre they're descended upon by a rush of children and teens, stacks of pizza boxes snatched from their arms and vanishing into the crowd. Obi-Wan glances over to the cookie table, and is unsurprised to see the lack of progress.

It takes a few seconds and some bouncing up on his toes to find Kix, and when he does it's to see him curled up on a hard plastic chair in the back corner behind the water cooler, cell phone pressed to his ear, his other arm wrapped around himself and looking very much like he's trying to remain calm through an exceedingly distressing conversation.

Cody is standing very still, hands clasped behind his back, eyes darting around and clearly unsure what to do. Obi-Wan, who is a good person, says "Come on, then. While I recognize that it's meant to be the process of decorating the cookies that holds the value, I also am physically incapable of leaving a job half done, and now that the real food has arrived I suspect no one else will be doing it."

"Yes, ok," Cody says, quickly.

Anakin finds them five minutes later, half a piece of pizza in his mouth and a spring in his step. "Rex is gonna let me take a look at his car!"

"I'm glad," Obi-Wan says, and means it. He may not trust Anakin with a lot of things, but when it comes to mechanics Obi-Wan trusts him far more than any "professional".

"you guys should get some pizza before it's all gone," Anakin says. "Hi, by the way. You're Cody, right?"

"Yeah," Cody says. "You're Anakin."

"That's me. And now I'm a little worried that rex talks about me."

"Would you believe me if I said only good things?"

"I accidentally pushed him off the roof of the old theatre last winter," says Anakin. Cody nods.

"We're busy with this," Obi-Wan says, nodding to the cookies. "Besides, the pizza should go to the youth, not to us."

Anakin rolls his eyes. "Whatever, it's food, we're all here, don't make it weird."

"Busy," Obi-wan repeats.

Anakin waves a hand. "Hey, hey, I get it. You're finally getting to experience an extremely stereotypical holiday tradition that you never did when you were a kid, and it's nice because you've been all fucked up with Qui-Gon away."

"What?!" Obi-Wan snaps, incredulous, at the same time Cody says

"That's exactly what we're doing, actually. Couldn't have said it better myself."

Obi-Wan considers upending the container of sprinkles over Cody's head.

[twilightofthe]

SPOILERS FOR THE ENTIRE EPISODE 9 BENEATH THE CUT.  YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

S O . . .

Honestly I’m kinda really glad I spoiled myself for this movie because I got really really upset by the reviews and went in with my expectations basically on the floor, so I was actually able to be pleased and happy with a couple things in the movie, so I will start off with the few things I did like.

I loved the Rey/Finn/Poe dynamic.  The actors’ chemistry works sooooo well together and I loved their adventure through the first two acts.  You can see how much these guys all genuinely like each other-- even tho the script seems to try VERY HARD to stick Poe and Finn with the worst case of “NO HOMO NO HOMO”-ing I’ve seen in Star Wars since Anakin and Obi Wan in The Clone Wars lol.  Seriously, the script is trying so so hard to pick fights between Poe and Finn, but blessed amazing Oscar Isaac and John Boyega manage to play it so the entire conflict reads more like Poe is jealous of Finn’s feelings over Rey, they act it VERY MUCH like quarreling lovers and it is completely 100% the work of John and Oscar and I love these two so much, I owe them my life.

I adore Rey and Finn’s chemistry too, they spend the entire film with Finn desperately worrying over Rey and Rey confiding her worries and fears to Finn and constantly giving each other looks and ugh, I love them so much.

Force Sensitive!Finn!!!  Just for a second but it happened!  They should have been more blatant but I like that he canonically is!!!

Just in general, I’ve always been a Jedistormpilot shipper, and I feel the ending really leaves that as an open option I will happily take.

The bits with the Resistance and Leia did the best they could with Carrie’s footage.  It was choppy and kinda obvious that footage was all they had to work with, but they tried their hardest and given what little they had to work with, I will unhappily accept it and the fact that Leia had little to no role in the story.  I’m still really upset about it and her character’s death was so damn anticlimactic, but it was what happened.

Billy Dee Williams was charming and awesome as Lando, I loved seeing him, and he did a wonderful job, even if he was just a nostalgia cameo.

3PO was entertaining as ever!  I liked him!  They definitely sidelined R2 way too much, but I was glad to see 3PO and I was glad that he didn’t permanently lose his memory!  The only thing I was kinda ehhh about was the bit with the dagger and the Sith language because the way he was suddenly able to translate it after not being able to translate it?????  Did not make sense at all???????????

Abrams fucking got me with the nostalgia for a second during the Luke Force Ghost scene.  I’m sorry, but I was so happy to see that Leia had done a bit of Jedi training then chose to give it up, I loved the callback to Yoda lifting the X-Wing but then Luke’s ghost did it-- COMPLETE WITH THE OG MUSIC!!!!!  Mark knocked it out of the park and I just love seeing him.

Same for Ian and Sidious!  While I personally did not like the Sidious plot at all and I will expand more on that later, I loved seeing Mr. McDiarmid again and he always just fills me with a bit of glee being his dramatic Palpy self because he’s just as good and as hatable as he’s always been and I thank him for it.

I think that was about it for what I liked, and honestly that was all the work of the talented actors and me being happy to see them pulling off their characters to the best of their abilities.  The plot itself???  Ehhhhhhhhhh.....

Look, as I mentioned before, I liked the Jedistormpilot mission.  That was fun.  

The entire Resistance plot?  Way way way too staggered and jumped around too much, not going into detail, felt a lot like it was trying to cram in everything with little payoff and not much emphasis placed on the importance of its plan so the audience really doesn’t get time to register everything that’s happening with them, let alone care about them

Naomi Ackie did a charming job with Jannah, I would have liked it if her entire plot didn’t kinda invalidate Finn’s overall story arc.  I get they were trying to say “oh look!  Finn’s not alone!  There are other ex-stormtrooper rebels!  Just like Finn!!!”  Instead what it looks like is saying basically that Finn isn’t special, Finn’s defection wasn’t important overall, literally everyone does it, and it means nothing.

(Also going off of this, it really felt like JJ caved to the TLJ hate and totally sidelined Rose, she did like jacksquat in this and I’m mad)

The thing is, I don’t think the Resistance plot and the search for Palpy mission would have been as scattered and rushed and disorganized IF: Rey Palpatine wasn’t a thing, Reylo wasn’t a thing, and Force Ghosts were utilized more.

Look, I was fine with Palpy coming back (on a condition).  Someone had to be the big bad and Disney is too worried about toy sales for it to ever be Kylo, so I knew Sidious could work-- provided they brought back the Skywalkers whose stories were intertwined with his and involved them in his ultimate downfall somehow.

I was fine with Rey Nobody. I was a little mad all the Skywalker legacy was going to her without her earning it really, but I figured that if the final film connected her with the Skywalkers properly, it would be fine, she had time to earn it.

Instead, we got little to no Skywalkers-- one Luke scene that meant nothing to the plot, scraped together Leia footage they could only take so far, and a fucking muddled voiceover from the man who Sidious screwed over the most, the one who originally killed him, the one who should have been THERE.  Look, I should have known they would never actually bring Anakin back, but dammit, he SHOULD HAVE BEEN THERE.  HE SHOULD HAVE.  This was his story originally, like it or not, and the entire goddamn Sequel Trilogy never so much as said his name, even when they brought back the creep that destroyed his life and he was supposed to give his own to defeat.

Literally no one asked for the Rey Palpatine plot.  It made no sense, you feel nothing for her “heroic” parents because you know literally nothing about either of them, the convoluted logic on why/why not Sidious wants her alive makes no sense.  His goal makes no sense, it’s confusing, so he wants Kylo to kill her but he also doesn’t, he wants Rey there so she can kill him and he can transfer his life force into her and then he’ll bring the Sith back somehow with all that hooded crowd on the bottom of Exetor???  Where did they even come from??  What happened to the canon saying all the dead Sith were on Korriban?  How is Palpy even gonna use Rey to bring back the other Sith????  When can his ghost/zombie corpse/whatever the fuck he is just fucking pull life energy out of people’s chests?  

What they should have focused on instead of the timeline devoted to Rey Palpatine was keep Sidious as the threat, keep all his other “raising the dead Sith” stuff-- just move his hidey hole to Korriban dammit --and have all the Rey’s parents plot shift to scenes with her interacting with Luke and Anakin’s Force Ghosts trying to figure out how to take down Palps together once and for all.  Let her get adopted into the Skywalker family by the only two who actually carried the name, not just have her randomly take it at the end after interacting with Luke freaking once.  She has seemingly close relationships with Leia and Ben, dammit, in that case she should have been Rey Solo or Rey Organa.

Also have Luke’s Force Ghost replace the nonsense with whatever guy Luke was apparently working with to track down Sidious on Exetor-- we never saw all of that and having aaaaaall of that background wordvomited onto us by 3PO at once makes it jarring and confusing and forgettable.  Literally just have Luke show up and tell them!!!!  

Han’s appearance to Kylo on whatsitsname Endor water moon???  Also should have been Anakin if they really wanted to show Kylo/Ben’s beginning to turn (really it should have been Leia but again I get why they couldn’t) back to the Light via a convo with the dead.  Like omgggg let him finally talk to the grandfather he was trying to impress!!  The opening was right there????  But nope, Han is there, and I guess whatever he says is suddenly enough to turn him good again???

(THIS ALSO MEANS MY FUCKING FANFIC WAS RIGHT.  HAN SOLO IS A FORCE GHOST.  WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK.  THAT WAS LITERALLY THE ONE THING I PROCLAIMED WOULD NOT BE CANON.  I’M THE NEW ORACLE OF DELPHI BITCHES.  WHAT THE FUCK.)

Aaaaand this brings me to the romance.  The fucking romance.  Look, I’m sorry if you guys all do, I really am, and I respect if you want to unfollow, but I never have been able to stomach Reylo.  Ever.  I never saw the romance.  I saw pain and abuse and one-sided obsession.  Check that, I will admit that I always saw some sort of want from Kylo.  Adam played him very much being obsessed with having Rey with him for some reason throughout all the films, but it also always played as toxic, and him not knowing what to do with that want, and just lashing out and abusing and forcing himself on her at every turn.  It never played as a healthy relationship and it never played like Kylo should be rewarded for it.  And this entire film????  I see still no romance????  Like the first half is just Rey being damn furious at Kylo, hating him, literally wanting nothing to do with him.  I think another part of it is that I have never in the films seen Rey as having romantic or emotional feelings for Kylo, not ever.  Not consistantly.  It’s always just been an entire film’s worth of her despising him-- no not in an enemies to lovers UST despising, like actual hate and frustration --and then one singular bizarre scene that sticks out like a wart on a face where she suddenly does a 180 and is soft with him, like in the elevator scene in TLJ or the ending scene of TROS.  I wouldn’t even say Rey feels soft for Kylo the first damn time she stabs and kills him before healing him.  That to me seems a lot more like guilt to Leia her mentor over stabbing her son, and healing him for Leia’s sake than Rey actually wanting him alive.  Maybe that’s just because from what I’ve seen, Daisy isn’t the biggest Reylo fan and just didn’t play it with her heart.

I’m glad Ben was redeemed, after what Sidious put that family through, I would have been upset with the last Skywalker descendant dying in Dark disgrace.  But I’ve never been able to like his character really because they never fully let him be evil or an intriguing villain character, but they never showed him as good.  I’m sorry, but the comics don’t do it for me either because it seems they’re just trying to slightly alter Anakin’s issues and problems and stick them onto him and go “see they’re the same!” and it just rings fake and irritating for me, and his sudden turnaround does not have the same weight behind it because I don’t even know what he really turned back to the Light for.  Was it for Rey?  That obsession didn’t look like love.  Was it for Leia?  We never got to see him speak two words to her.  Was it for Han?  Possibly?!?!  That scene was not clear?!??!?!!?!  It sure as hell wasn’t for Anakin or Luke because they weren’t allowed to interact with him at all.  His return to the Light made no real sense because there wasn’t a clear motive besides “plot says so” and I Could Not See the logic in Rey suddenly wanting to make out with him, whether he saved her or not.  Really the one good thing about it was that their lack of chemistry throughout the film means that if I ignore the fact that that kiss happened, it’s pretty easy to pretend they never got together ;D  Plus, that Jedistormpilot hug at the very end tho, like I said, possibilities........

AND ANOTHER THING (god I really am a crotchety old lady), THE ABILITIES OF BEN AND REY TO BRING EACH OTHER BACK FROM DEATH.  Rey effortlessly healed a straight saber wound through the gut that has fucking killed multiple trained Force users dead and even more non Force users, healed it in seconds.  Now I probably seem like the biggest hypocrite here as I’m planning on having Anakin survive that same exact type of wound in a fic I’m writing (spoilers for those reading it lol but not really, did y’all actually think I was gonna kill him like that xD  And that in no means says he’s gonna recover completely...), but the difference is that I’m not having him survive through someone else effortlessly curing the wound.  If Ben survived that gut wound by healing himself, using his raw energy that all Skywalkers are supposed to have, I would be able to believe that.  Self preservation will to live saved Vader on Mustafar, saved Luke, saved fucking Sidious.  

But the matter is, if Rey was so powerful that she could just heal Ben from dying like that, why the fuck in the prequels is Anakin so panicked over his loved ones dying ever?  He’s supposed to be the most powerful Force user in existence, more powerful than Rey, shouldn’t he have been able to do that for say, Shmi??  One might argue, “but Rey’s had training!”  Who trained her?  Leia, who learned from Luke, who learned from Obi Wan and Yoda, neither of whom knew how to fucking do that and pass it down, don’t tell me they did.  The other option is that Rey did it untrained on natural talented instinct, which again, in that case, why couldn’t Anakin figure that out?  Why didn’t any Jedi?  Rey worked off of emotion healing Ben, Anakin should have been able to figure that out too.  I will accept Ben’s energy transfer to Rey saving her after she died later as that literally killed him, that makes sense, trading energy at an equal point-- and further canonizes my theory that Sidious was able to steal and drain Padmé’s life energy through her bond with Anakin to save him after he burned, which was the actual reason Pads died in Ep 3.  But Rey effortlessly bringing Ben back like that????  I just can’t, that just doesn’t work for canon for me.  I’m sorry, but no.

My final issue is the sheer amount of ignoring this trilogy did of the prequels.  I’ve already ranted about Anakin not showing up when he should and I will not repeat myself, this rant got long and I’m getting tired, but he should have been there, dammit.  He really should have.  Luke should have had more screentime.  That bit at the end where Rey hears all of the other Jedi’s voices speaking to her???  I’m sorry, but that really does break canon!  It was supposed to be only Qui Gon’s line, or those he taught and could pass it down, who could become Force Ghosts, and as delighted as I was to hear Kanan again and Windu and Luminara and everyone else, their voices should not have been there as they are not Force Ghosts! (and this is only partially me whinging over the fact that in my Force Ghost fic I have already stupidly proclaimed that only Qui Gon’s line has become ghosts and now I somehow have to fix that o_o)

(ALSO also the appearance of Ahsoka Tano amongst the voices means that she is dead which means they had the actual audacity to fucking kill her off OFFSCREEN with no explanation which grrrrrr)

One last whine about the romance, everything with Zorri Bliss and Poe seemed really forced and just another way for the script to blare out “HE’S NOT IN LOVE WITH FINN HE’S NOT HE’S STRAIGHT SUPER STRAIGHT LOOK LOOK LOOK”, tho Zorri’s character herself was fun without the forced romance.

Look, overall, I really liked the characters of the sequels, but I felt the plot was really poorly executed, and I really felt that this was not the “Skywalker Saga”.  The Skywalkers felt cast aside and put in the background and ignored and totally invalidated.  They were my favorites and I feel the narrative let them down and it makes my heart unhappy.  It really feels like abusers like Palpatine and Kylo got to win at the expense of their victims, and that really makes my heart unhappy.  That’s just my personal feelings.  Nothing wrong if you did like it, but it’s just me.  I miss my Skywalkers and their happy ending and I probably always will.  I probs won’t ever really be satisfied with what happened to them, tho I will work my hardest on it.  I guess that’s it.

[the-magic-lava-lamp]

The Great Suburban Showdown

Summary: What is Padmé supposed to do when her husband of 15 years leaves her because he’s in love with a man? And not just a man, a close friend.

(For the purpose of this story, Obi-Wan & Padmé are the same age, 42. Anakin is 38. And the twins are 15.)

Ships: Obikin, Skysolo

Word Count: 3,225

Chapter: 5 - Looking for Space. 

A small glass of perfume sat on a dresser. It was the small and delicate glass with a large daisy stopper blocking any leakage.

It sat there, absolutely still, as a pair of hands quickly picked and pulled from the array of products sat around it. But with that speed came clumsiness and the hands just darted to fast on the pull-back of some lipstick and down came the bottle. Knocking it off the counter and revealing the ring of dust that had been living underneath it.

Padmé paused for a moment before peeking over the lip of the dresser to find the tiny bottle. The rounded broken piece was rolling just the slightest bit while the rest of the tiny shards bathed in the small puddle of the scent leaking out.

Anakin had given that perfume to as a small Mother’s Day gift when the twins were around nine. Kneeling down, she intended to start cleaning the mess up but she hesitated. The tip of her finger laid frozen in the burgundy puddle as a wave of emotion fell upon her. She’d been holding back on truly coming to terms with what her mind and body ached for. But looking at the old shattered gift on her hardwood floor...the gate was opened without her permission.

A flood of tears finally broke past her eyes and rolled down her cheeks, the heat from her previous restrain could almost burn her skin. In an instant she was near hysterical. Her breathing was rapid and short as it became harder for her to push-back the devastation. More then anything in her life she wanted to call Anakin...she wanted him with her. But at the same time she was desperate to shove him away entirely.

The palm of her hand curled over her mouth in an attempt to block some of the sound from breaching the thin walls of their home. She did not want the twins to her any bit of this breakdown, they didn’t need to see their mother so...sad. It would just be too hard for them and they didn’t need anymore stress so she just needed to be strong, she was usually extremely good at that. It was enough that she’d broken down when Anakin had given them the news. There’d be nothing more now.

A deep breath or two and she was off the floor and on her way to collect the dust-pan and broom.

                     ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The rain was coming down hard and banging against the bedroom window with loud pops. But it was nothing compared to the storm in Leia’s eyes. Luke felt a sense of dread as he crossed the white carpet towards the chest against the wall. The room was dead silent as he sat and swung his bare-feet just a few inches above the soft floor, teasing static-shocks tickled his skin.

Part of him was glad that he could finally sit and talk with his sister about everything but another part was just hoping for it to be over quickly. Deep down he knew they just weren’t on the same wavelength for the first time in their lives and talking about it would just bring that all to light.

Leia turned in her chair, arm resting on the back as a cool stormy breeze came in from her open window. “So what have you been thinking?”

That was a let-down. He’d been hoping for Leia to go into her own troubles first so that he’d have time to think about what he wanted to say. He swiped his finger across the worry lines in his forehead and thought about his laughing fit with Han. “I’ve been...-You know, I’ve been wondering how Dad’s been doing.” He couldn’t bare to look up to see Leia’s reaction.

“I don’t know how you always manage to do that.” She whispered and played with some loose thread on her sleeve.

“What?” Luke blinked as his sister straightened her back and sighed.

“Make me feel like such a bad person.” She shook her head and turned away for a moment or two, looking out her window.

Luke felt a flash of guilt that wanted to turn itself into anger just for the sake of being defensive but he quickly shut that down before it even had the chance to start. “Why do you say that?”

“You just have this way of....-” She paused and it was easy to tell she was having more than just a difficult time explaining her thoughts (the kind of thoughts that Luke expected she’d been holding back for years). “You’re so level-headed. I just can’t be that. Right now, I'm so mad at dad that I-” she stopped again and looked down to collect herself. She was a bit like their mother in that way, never wanting to let her guard down in-front of her family.

“I don’t want to see him...like at all.” She shrugged. Luke nodded because he’d expected that from her. He knew her too well not to. “I feel like there’s nothing he could say to me right now that would make me want to...and I feel really bad about that but at the same time-” She swallowed. “I’m just so mad at him.”

“That’s a normal reaction, Leia. I know we definitely aren’t experts on a situation like this but that much I can say for sure.” Luke’s eyes were soft and wide and it only served to piss his sister off even more...but at herself rather than her brother.

“God, Luke you’re so calm about all of this. I feel like-...like I could explode from how stressed and angry I am.” She stood and started pacing her floor. “I’m too much like dad. I hate that.”

That comment stung Luke a little. The way she said it with such resentment well, it hurt him just the same way it would hurt their father to hear. “That can be a good thing, Leia.” He spoke softly with an earnest voice. Leia stopped pacing for a second to look at him.

“Maybe it can be. But right now, I don’t feel like it is.” She shrugged and Luke tried to keep the hurt from showing on his face. “It probably doesn’t help that my relationship with dad has already been...rocky lately.” She sat back down.

That was true and it was something that had been brewing through the family for some time now. The two of them could easily fall into fights and it was sometimes difficult for Luke or his mother to understand. But it wasn’t hard to tell that it was a little painful for the two of them. It just came down to the fact that his sister and his father were so similar that it caused them to butt heads constantly. They were both quite impulsive and...angry.

Luke could almost hear those past shouts in his head again from that specific summer where they just couldn’t get on the same page. The relief off school release and joy from fresh green grass was nearly ruined by the fights.

“You’ve always been more sympathetic to dad so I can see why this is bothering you.” Leia frowned.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” He narrowed his eyes slightly.

“Just that...you’re so close to dad. The two of you get each other. I feel like I never had that with him.” She picked once more at a loose thread and Luke felt something drop in his stomach. It felt like more of his life was crumbling to pieces, more problems that he didn’t even know existed were coming to light. Sure, he knew they fought but he never know just how much it hurt his sister.

“Leia-”

“Never mind. I just wanted to see how you were feeling.” Her hand waved in the air in an attempt to dismiss him and Luke felt defeated. He rubbed behind his ear and thought it best to just leave Leia to herself. But as he stood he couldn’t help but feel as if he was abandoning her. “How have you really been feeling?” she added quickly before Luke could see himself out.

‘Overwhelmed’ was on his mind and the tip of his tongue but he restrained himself. He wished to unload much of his stress to her, just to get it off his chest. Maybe even tell her what he’d yet to tell anyone in his family but he didn’t want to give her anything more to stress over so he held back. “Drained but...it’ll get better soon.” He nodded and Leia seemed dissatisfied with that answer but accepted it nonetheless.

“I’ve also been meaning to ask you something else!” Leia suddenly looked highly amused and it was a refreshing change so Luke welcomed whatever tease was coming his way. He leaned against her wall, arms crossed. “That party we went to...” She trailed off with a smile and Luke was suddenly very, very nervous. “You disappeared for a bit and the next day, before everything went down, you were very happy.” She looked mischievous and though he knew she was way too perceptive to miss such a detail, he had hoped she’d forgotten amidst the drama.

“Oh yeah, I was talking to Wedge. He surprisingly had the time to tease me about showing up to an actual party.” He shrugged and Leia looked at him with her eyebrows raised in the air but she quickly gave it up. But he knew that she was onto him.  

“Alright...well I’ll see ya later, buddy.” She smiled, half-hearted at best and Luke made his way out of the room.

                     ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Anakin was especially good at making himself look smaller. Sometimes, when Obi-Wan looked at him it was hard not to just take the man into his arms. When Anakin was upset, he felt it deep within himself just the same. One of the worst parts of this whole mess was having to witness such emotions from the man he loved.

Anakin was leaning with his back against the couch to better feel the warmth from the sun-spot coming through Obi-Wan’s window and it was a breathtaking image. Golden sun-rays threaded through his hair and glazed his entire body and there was a peace there that was soothing. As he admired all that it was and all that he would miss, it occurred to him that maybe the man needed to actually hear some of that love that was on his mind.

“Anakin?”

Long brown hair flicked behind him as the man craned his neck to get a look at Obi-Wan. He smiled with a tenderness that hadn’t been around in a few weeks. In fact; the last time he recalled seeing that look was when Anakin had found Obi-Wan’s old Barry Manilow greatest hits record just a week before everything went down. He’d put it on with the intention to tease but instead found something lovely in the way ‘Can’t Smile Without You’ had changed the mood, mostly Obi-Wan’s. Anakin couldn’t quite stop teasing him and his laughter had just become uncontrollable. It felt like ages since he’d last heard the man laugh like that or felt the delightful vibrations of it when they kissed. There was a hidden red wine stain on his carpet that always reminded him of that evening.

He felt the weight of their situation fall upon his shoulders again. But for once it was refreshing to greet it because he knew Anakin was feeling it too and it would only draw them closer together in this moment of self-pity.

“You have something to say, old man?” He shuffled upwards to plop right down on the cushion next to his partner and smirked. Obi-Wan just melted.

“I can never tell if you’re brooding or just day-dreaming...” He waved his hand out slightly towards the air of where Anakin had been sitting. “The facial expression is always the same for both.”

“You always look bored.” He retorted and Obi-Wan scoffed with offense. “Unless, of course, you’re thinking about me. How could I miss the way your eyebrow twitches whenever your thoughts turn...dirty.” He sighed with clear pleasure and dramatics. He got a smack in the arm for that.

After a moment of laughter, they fizzled into silence. Comments like that couldn’t truly be pulled off anymore. After having to face the consequences of what their relationship truly was...it just felt gross.

“How are you feeling, dear one?”

“I think we’ve been through this before, Obi-Wan.” He shut that question down with amazing speed. “I’d rather not have our relationship just become one big therapy session, you know?” His eyes narrowed with the white-hot anger that was so purely Anakin.

Complete silence was never complimentary to his apartment, it made it seem a lot smaller and annoying. But maybe it was actually that it wasn’t complementary to them. A big part of their relationship was the way they could talk to each other. Hours upon hours spent in conversation and not that boring chit-chat kind. No. It always meant something. Even their arguments were long and drawn out with no breaks for air. That was just how they clicked.

It’s when things got silent...that’s when it was bad. They were mad or upset enough that they didn’t dare want to open their mouths and risk saying something they’d regret-

“I don’t think my relationship with Padmé is the only relationship that I ruined.” Anakin’s shoulders rolled back from letting go of such a heavy sentiment. He usually did break their silences.

There was intense anger instantly but even Obi-Wan had to admit...there was truth to it. He opened his mouth to reply-maybe argue-but Anakin was already doing something he was really good at. Flying off before he had to deal with the consequences.

The door slammed shut behind him.

                     ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next morning, Padmé was trying to enjoy the beautiful sunny Sunday before the dread of work tomorrow and he dishes were keeping her delightfully busy. At times like this, she almost felt like nothing had happened and she wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or not.

But most of her initial anger had subsided. She just wasn’t the type of person to hold onto anger. Level-headed, that’s what her mother called her ever since she was a young girl and it was something that just came naturally to her.

She ran her fingers through her hair and felt that sinking depression in her chest. The kind that only lasts a second or two before you flash back...feeling as if you might’ve just made it up. A plate dropped gently back into the sink and her eyes landed on the drain. She stared down into it with an intensity that would seem odd if her mind wasn’t somewhere else entirely.

“Mom?”

“Leia!” The smiled that took over her face was beautiful and full of relief. Though she’d nearly jumped into the air from shock. She giggled lightly after her minor scare and Leia fell into a laugh too.

“I just wanted to ask if you wanted to get some breakfast?” Her daughter smiled with so much love, eyes that mirrored her fathers in a lot of ways. Maybe not in color but...so much more.

“I would love to. Why don’t you go ask your brother if he’d like to come and I’ll finish up here?” She gestured to the plates and Leia nodded, taking off up the stairs.

                        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Luke darted down the stairs when he heard the bell ring without really thinking it through. His mother and Leia had gone off for a breakfast which he decided against, just to give Leia some time with her alone. And he was left to think himself to death.

He swung the door open and had to hold back an actual gasp. “Han!” He pulled his sweatshirt down a little instinctively as the man looked him up and down. “What are you doing here? I told you that I didn’t want you to meet anyone yet.”

Han laughed. “I know. But is it that weird for you to just have a friend over-? Are you wearing pants?” He dragged his eyes down Luke’s exposed legs and the man rolled his eyes but shifted nervously anyway.

“Yes. I’m wearing pants...shorts, this is just long...-anyway” Luke waved his hands about after pulling on his sweatshirt once more and tried to ignore Han’s chuckles. “Why are you here?”

Han shrugged, standing back a little and smirked. “Dunno. Was driving around and I thought you might wanna do something. You said it was boring around here and hey, I can make anything exciting.” He was attempting to look passive about it but Luke could read people very well. Han’s eyebrow twitched nervously.

“I think you mean annoying.”

The way Luke huffed playfully and popped his leg out a touch made Han’s heart stop for a second but he was an expert at playing these things off- “So um, should I be tellin’ your family that I’m just your really attractive friend or...?” He looked over Luke’s shoulder to see if he could spot the guy’s sister.

“You’re lucky no ones home-”

“Is that why you’re walking around without any pants on?” Han asked as he glanced in every direction of the home when Luke finally allowed him inside.

Luke whipped around and smacked his arm. “Shut-up, will you?” He restrained his giggle and narrowed his eyes but Han was enjoying it. He turned, maybe to smack him again, but he took a shy turn. As soon as they made eye contact Luke felt his cheeks turn rosy and he looked down. He couldn’t see Han’s face but the man was helplessly admiring him.

Han coughed into his hand. “So you wanna do something or what?”

Luke tilted his head as an idea popped into his head. “You mind doing me a big favor?”

“I’m not too crazy about favors, kid.” He crossed his arms, leaning back on the railing of the staircase.

Luke titled his chin down, smirking at his floor and shrugged. He paired that with a soft sigh before looking up and sadly batting his eye-lashes. “Oh come on, just this one...for me?” He reached out and took Han’s hand, patting it between his own while he bounced a little on his feet.

‘I’m really in for it with this kid, aren’t I?’ Han quietly thought to himself as he rolled his eyes and put on a passive face. “Alright fine.”

Luke grinned. “That was quick. Was nearly ready to start fake crying.” He teased and Han’s eyes widened.

“Don’t tell me you can cry on the spot, kid...?” He wagged his finger and the blonde smirked, nodding his head.

“Oh yeah I can. One of my many talents.” He laughed, not thinking much of it at all.

But Han was silently hoping he’d never actually perform that talent. He was already proving to be kind of weak when it came to Luke and if there was crying involved...‘Shit. He really was in for it.’  “Just spit it out before I change my mind, will ya?”

“I want to go see my dad and I need you to drive me there.”

[thorne93]

Past VS Present (Part 9)

Prompt: Imagine being best friends with Loki, but this wasn’t always the case, since you’d grown up with Anakin Skywalker. And when Anakin needs your help one day,it starts a wave of events.

Word Count: 2755

Warnings: language (later in series), drama,

Notes: This takes place like right before Thor 1 and after-ish Revenge of the Sith (without Anakin turning) Thanks a million to my beta @like-a-bag-of-potatoes I couldn’t have finished this without you. and @queendivaofthedark you were amazing, thank you so much!

Crossover of Thor (Loki) and Star Wars

Tags (let me know if you want added or removed): @phantomgirl2298​  @munlis​ @cocosierra94​ @ultrarebelheart

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two days had passed since your escapades with Loki in the other world and you were a total wreck. You had no idea what to do. You lived for years, with no temptation, nothing to tug at your heart. You just wanted to be a good fighter, a good defender of the galaxies and worlds. So how did you end up loving the man from your past and the man from your present?

 It didn’t matter though, really. It didn’t matter if you loved both. You weren’t sure which was worse - not being able to decide or not getting a choice in the matter. Anakin’s mission would eventually end here, and he would return home. Even if he didn’t return for a long time, he wasn’t allowed to love. The same was true for Loki. He was a prince, he was destined to marry whoever the King deemed fit.

 That’s what made it all the worse. You couldn’t tell your heart it was a fool. Your brain knew the inevitable outcome that you couldn’t have either one. But it was hard to tell your heart that. Your heart was split down the middle, one side for each man in that meant the most in your life. You couldn’t tell your heart to stop pining over them. You couldn’t tell it to let it go so you didn’t dream of them. You couldn’t tell your heart to forget their names and faces so that you could be around them without feeling excitement and guilt mingled into one strangled emotion.

To make the whole situation even more of a headache, usually you would go to Loki or Anakin with these sort of issues, but when the issue was with both of them, how could you possibly discuss this with them? They weren’t torn between two people. Their advice to you would be to forget the other man, or to follow your heart. They could offer little. You had no idea who to turn to.

 You’d done your best to avoid both men. Thankfully, the fates were on your side. Loki had meetings all day with his father and the advisors, helping to get Thor ready for the throne and Loki to know about everything, should anything happen to Thor. Anakin and Obi-Wan did another perimeter search, practiced, and worked with the guards to strategize. You kept mostly to your room, the library, and occasionally spent time with the other warriors.  

 A knock at your door pulled you from your thoughts, and as it was well after dinner, you were curious as to who could be here.

 Opening the door, your throat felt thick when you saw Anakin. He was the first and last person you wanted to see. What if he wanted to talk about the kiss? Were you ready for that?

 “Good evening,” Anakin greeted with a wide smile.

 “Hi,” you said in a soft voice.

 “Can I come in?” he asked, gesturing toward the room.

 “Oh, right. Yes, sorry.” You stepped aside so he could enter into your massive, golden bedroom.

 “I brought us dinner,” he announced as he held up a wicker basket and put it on your table.

 “How?”

 “There is this trick they taught us a few years ago in Jedi training,” he started in a very serious tone. “See you go up to the table, where everyone is getting food, and put it in your basket,” he answered with a grin as he laughed and tossed an apple in the air before catching it again.

 “You’re a real jerk,” you teased as you pushed his arm before you two sat down. “Why did you bring this?”

 “I noticed you hadn’t been eating. Every time meals were served, you were nowhere to be found. I thought maybe you weren’t feeling well,” he answered, his eyes so sweet and tender as they gazed into yours.

 “Anakin, that was very kind of you.”

 He started to pull out meats, cheeses, fruits, and chalices for water. “It’s nothing,” he said simply as he shrugged.  But it was something. He cared for you. He was worried about you.

 “So are you sick?” he questioned.

 “No, no. I just...was busy is all,” you answered, only half lying.

 “Oh, good.”

 “You? How have you been?” you asked.

 “Well, to be honest,” he answered, putting one of his sandwiches down, “I’m still having the visions. The nightmares.”

 “Oh, I’m so sorry,” you tried. You felt awful that he had to go through that.

 “And...I think...I’m going to take Palpatine's advice,” he continued, his gaze avoiding yours.

 “His advice? And what exactly is that?” you demanded, frustration starting to course through you as you crossed your arms.  

 “He says I just have to do a few things and I will have the power to save you.” His dark eyes shot to yours, seeking forgiveness.

 “Yes, but at what cost?” you asked, enraged. You were glowering at him. “Anakin, this is insanity. You can’t truly be thinking about this, can you?”

 “Thinking about saving you? Yes, I’m highly considering it,” he remarked, getting irritated himself.  

 You shook your head as you grit your teeth.

 “Y/N, I’m already feeling a pull to the dark side,” he confessed.

 “What?” you deadpanned.

 “I’m angry all the time, Y/N,” he answered as he whirled out of his chair, the motion making him seem flawless. Even being frustrated with him did not dilute your strong attraction to him. “I’m angry with Master Windu, Master Yoda, Obi-Wan...I deserve a seat on the council and they won’t give me one. They are holding me back and I don’t know why. I have great power!”

 You stood quickly and walked over to him and put your hands on the sides of face. “I know that. I know. But all of that anger can’t mean you are seriously considering joining the Sith.”

 “I don’t know,” he answered with a sigh.

 “Anakin,” you started, your hands sliding from his face to hold his hands. “In this life, we have many choices. We can take a bad situation and make something good out of it. We can see the good in everything, Anakin. I know you deserve a seat on the council. I know you deserve to be Master. Perhaps you could channel that anger into being the best padawan there is. You can choose to be bitter or choose to be happy you’re a padawan of Obi-Wan’s.”

 “I suppose you’re right. But what about you? I can’t sit by and just let you get killed. That’s not right,” he said desperately.

 “You will have to apply the same knowledge. If I am to die, then you must make something good out of it. Honor my memory in some way.”

 “No,” he answered as he pulled his hands away. “No, I won’t accept that. There has to be another way.”

 “Well it’s certainly not giving up your soul,” you snapped.

 “Oh, so I should just let you die, is that it? My soul, my goodness, the light in me, whatever you want to call it, Y/N, is nothing if I don’t have you. Don’t you understand? You’re the only thing keeping me from the darkness. I fear that if you die….” He stopped for a moment and took a breath before continuing in a quieter voice. “I fear that if you die, the light in me will die too and I’ll be doomed to the darkside regardless.”

 You stood, shocked. You had no idea he felt this way. How could you mean so much to him? What were you to do?

 “Oh, Anakin,” you said sadly as you walked up to him and put your arms around him. “We have to find another way. Please. I can not bear the thought of knowing you gave up your soul for me. I can’t live with that.”

 “But I can,” he argued. “I can live, knowing you’re alive, no matter the cost.”

 “But it's my life, Anakin! You can’t give yours up for mine!”

 “Doesn’t your argument go both ways? It’s my soul, I can give it up for who I wish,” he argued with a frown.

 You scoffed. “It’s not the same!”

 “Isn’t it? You don’t want me to lose my soul, I don’t want you to die. Mine is a lot less of a hefty cost.”

 “No, it’s not!”

 “Why?! Why are you so against this?” he begged, irritation running in his voice.

 “Because I could never forgive you!” you shouted.

 He stepped back, stunned at your words as if they just slapped him.

 “Are you willing to go that route? To have me never forgive you, just to say I’m alive? I don’t want you to talk to Palpatine about this, I don’t want you exploring other options.”

 His expression had turned to one of an angry statue. He seemed to be frozen with his jaw set, his eyes smoldering with a sort of angry burn behind them, their gaze never leaving your face, his fists clenched.

 How had it come to this? How had you gone from best friends, to strangers, to friends, to near lovers, to arguing about whose life mattered more? How did you go from being thrilled to see him just over a week ago, to sad to leave him, to beyond excited again, then kissing him, to now being so mad at him you couldn’t see straight.

 The worst part was you didn’t blame him. You’d left the Jedi, it would be hypocritical to stand and tell him not to leave. You knew you’d probably be thinking the exact same thoughts in his shoes. You knew you’d do anything to save him, so to stand here and tell him to not do the same was entirely wrong. But how could you let him go down this path for you? How could you just let him throw away his amazing abilities? His career? His life?

 You sighed. “You know what? We clearly aren’t going to change each other’s minds. We need to speak to Obi-Wan,” you offered.

 “Obi-Wan? Why him?”

 “He’ll be able to help. He’ll be neutral. He may see other options,” you suggested, shrugging. Anakin stewed a bit, his jaw clenching and unclenching. “Please? What could it hurt?”

 “Fine,” he said with a sigh. “Let’s go.”

 Together you left your bedroom and walked past all the guards, the golden hallways, the torches lighting your way that gave off a warm ambiance. Regardless of your anger toward your best friend right now, being in one place with your old friends and your new ones, you had to say, you never felt safer. Several hallways passed as you stormed down the hall with Anakin. You were somewhere between highly enraged and tranquil and calm.

 Finally, you reached the guest quarters, several hallways down from yours. Anakin offered for you to knock and you pursed your lips, shook your head, rolled your eyes, then finally knocked. Sometimes Anakin could be so stubborn and hard headed.

 “Y/N, Anakin. What are you doing here?” Obi-Wan asked as soon as he opened the door and tied his sleeping robe around him.

 “Can we come in? We have something we need to discuss,” you asked.

 “Uh, sure.” Obi-Wan stepped aside and you two swept inside. He closed the door behind you and offered you to sit in his small seating area in his suite. “So what brings you two to me?”

 “It’s about my visions,” Anakin started.

 “They’re still happening?” he questioned, concerned.

 “Yes. They only stopped while she was back home with us, but they’ve returned.”

 “So what about them?” he asked.

 “Anakin wants to sell his soul to Palpatine to save me,” you interjected, irritation clear in your voice.

 “What in the...Anakin!” he chastised as he turned to him.

 “She’s making it worse than it sounds,” he stated, clearly annoyed as he turned to glare at you. This felt like old times, in a way. You and Anakin going to Obi-Wan, pushing blame on each other.

 “No, he said he’s willing to go to the dark side to save me. He already feels the pull to it,” you countered, your hands on your hips.

 “Is this true?” he asked, turning to his padawan, hurt so evident on his face, you could feel his hurt in your own body.

 After a moment, Anakin finally answered, “Yes. It’s true.”

 “You would give up your path….to save her?”

 Anakin pointed his chin up, where he had been ashamed, he was now proud to answer. “Yes, I would.”

 Having someone say they would give up their life for yours was a very surreal experience.

 “But I don’t want him to,” you disagreed. “Obi-Wan, please, please tell him he’s making a mistake,” you begged. “I want him to remain pure and to go to the dark side so I can live is absurd and ridiculous.”

 “You and I both know if this is what he wants, he can do as he pleases.”

 “No, he needs to not be thick skulled,” you grumbled.

 “There is a way that we could compromise,” Obi-Wan suggested.

 “Anything!” you and Anakin said in unison.

 “Well, Anakin, if you need Palpatine to show you how to save her life, to go to the dark side, you can’t exactly talk to him until we get done with our business here.”

 “But…my visions--”

 “Will have to be ignored until we’re done here. Is that clear?” he asked.

 “Wait, so you’re saying he can do whatever he wants when he gets back?” you asked, shock in your voice.

 “I’m saying that until we’re done here, until we complete our mission, he’s not to do anything. This gives time for the visions to possibly pass,” he said as he looked at Anakin. “And it gives you time to think about this choice, and delays your attempt to act on it,” he stated as his eyes then shifted to you. This wasn’t ideal, but it did satiate your fears at least and would force Anakin to deal with this and prevent him from doing anything irrational and reckless.

 For now, you could breathe easy.

 “Thank you, Obi-Wan,” you said softly, a sigh of relief escaping you.

 “What?” Anakin protested. “That’s it? I’m forbidden?”

 “For now, yes,” Obi-Wan said with glee. “Your primary duty right now is to protect Asgard and await this phantom army.”

 Anakin mumbled something inaudible and then Obi-Wan dismissed you two for the evening.

 As soon as he closed the door behind you, Anakin asked, “Do you mind if I walk you back to your room?”

 “I’d like that,” you admitted.

 He smiled at you and let you lead the way. The walk was somewhat tense and anxious though, despite the friendliness that always flowed between you and Anakin.

 “I know this isn’t ideal,” you offered in a low voice. “But Anakin, it’s what’s best...for now. Obi-Wan is right, we can’t control you. All I can ask is that you don’t do it.”

 “I know. If it makes you feel better, I’ll consider more options. But you will not die while I have anything to say about it,” he said, a handsome grin coming to his face as you ended up at your door. “But, no more talk of the visions or death, I have something more pressing.”

 Your throat dried as you went rigid. This was it. He was going to ask about the kiss. What it meant. What it meant going forward. Your feelings toward him. A million questions were probably going through his head and you had no answers to offer him.

 “What’s that?” you asked in a dry, barely audible whisper.

 “Would you want to go to Fendor’s?”

 You nearly gasped. Your eyes fluttered as you barely shook your head. “Fendor’s? The restaurant in the city?”

 “Yeah,” he said, shrugging. “I asked some of the locals a good place to eat. Why? Do you not like it?”

 You shook your head, wanting to laugh at this silly situation. “No, that’s not it. I’d love to go there. When?”

 “How about, in two nights?”

 “Sounds perfect.”

 “Okay, it’s a date. I’ll see you then.” He leaned his head in toward yours, you knew what was happening. Another kiss. And it felt just as amazing at this first. His lips found yours and while it was a short, quick, easy kiss, it sent a wave of emotion through your body. Though it was chaste, it made your spirit take flight.

[lurkingcrow]

An excuse to give a certain Jedi all the hugs

Ok, this is entirely @forcearama 's fault - her recaps not only got me into TCW, but gave me all sorts of Kenobi feels. I’m not completely happy with this, but It's been hanging around on my drive unfinished for long enough, so here, have a silly Mortis AU created purely to ensure Obi-Wan gets a well deserved hug. Outside the thunder roars, a cacophony of light and noise as the planet tears itself apart in an orgy of chaos and destruction. Inside the cave however it is quiet, the silence only broken by the  crackling of the fire and occasional rustle of clothing as Ahsoka shifts in her sleep. Obi-Wan should be sleeping too. Who knows what new impossibility Mortis will throw at them in the morning?  But rest eludes him. The visions have left him unsettled, his mind turning itself over and over in an attempt to make sense of it all. Ahsoka had refused to speak of what she had seen, but if it was anything like his own experience... ( "you must realise with his power this is a very dangerous place to be" says a ghost ) 

He wishes he could convince himself that it was just a dream - nothing more than his worry for Anakin and his subconscious desire see Qui-Gon again manifesting itself in an unusually vivid manner, but Obi-Wan is a realist. Their strange arrival. The disappearance of the shuttle and the constantly changing seasons. The way the Force permeates the very air... If there was anywhere in the universe that a ghost could make its presence felt it would be here, where reality itself seems to twist and bend ("this planet is both an amplifier and a magnet" but of what? )   His Master had urged caution and Obi-Wan is no fool. Experience taught him long ago that when Qui-Gon Jinn warns of danger it will surely follow (he suppresses the old ache inside his chest. now is not the time for grief). And there is good reason to be wary.  Regardless of their motivations, the focus of these unknown force users upon Anakin and his destiny as the Chosen One is disturbing. There is danger here, far beyond the physical and Obi-Wan is worried. Anakin is as brilliant as a thousand suns, and just as volatile. He is proud, oh so proud of the man his student has become, but the strain of attachment that Master Yoda warned him of so many years ago runs strong through them both. Perhaps Qui-Gon should never have entrusted the boy to him. He knows himself, he knows what he would do to keep his former Padawan (brother, partner, two halves of one whole) safe and well. With all his power and passion what lengths might Anakin go to to protect those he considers his own? (he buries the guilt, the knowledge of his own inadequacy. now is not the time for regret.) But they are a team. (the team, hope of the republic and why does the honour feel more like a chain?) Where one may falter the other will be there to catch them.  As soon as the tempest eases he will wake Ahsoka and they will set out to collect their missing member and get off this planet before disaster ensues.  (he eases away the certainty that it is already too late, that he has already begun to lose Anakin to forces outside his control. now is not the time for doubt.) The sharp noise of rock clattering across crystal interrupts his thoughts, and in a split second he is on his feet, lightsaber at the ready. A quick glance shows Ahsoka still asleep - somehow Obi-Wan doubts she will wake. Whatever knowledge the Force wishes to impart would seem to be private. His eyes scan across the cavern, alighting on the rear wall where a humanoid shape is slowly emerging from the shadows. Unlike his last visitor, the figure does not glow with ghostly light.  Indeed the stranger appears distinctly mundane. A dusty cloak shrouds a form that looks to be human standard, slighter and smaller perhaps than he is used to, but nothing out of the ordinary.  Their features are hidden in the deep folds of the hood, but Obi-Wan cannot sense any animosity.  In fact unless he is very much mistaken the figure appears to be radiating a distinct sense of confusion.  (he wouldn't be the only one…) It doesn't appear that he has been noticed yet. Given the apparently non-hostile nature of his visitor, Obi-Wan shifts his blade to a less threatening position and opens with a friendly greeting. "Hello there!" Confusion turns to shock as the figure spins to face him. The movement reveals dark clothing and a  gloved hand reaching for the lightsaber clipped to a well worn belt. For a moment there is silence as they assess one another. Neither party moves. Pulling out his best Negotiator voice, the one he uses to charm reluctant senators and skittish royals, Obi-Wan addresses the stranger again. "Come my friend, no need to be shy!" He smiles winningly, one eyebrow raised. He steps back, switching off his saber and  gesturing to the flames in front of him. "This is a strange and troubling place, but you are most welcome to share our fire." Obi-Wan has experienced a wide variety of reactions to his particular brand of diplomacy, over the years; friendly delight, irritated disdain, polite interest, occasionally breathless swooning - Anakin always looks so smug when that happens. But the sense of joy and recognition mixed with a faint hint of nauseated horror is completely unexpected. And somewhat startling. Whoever this is they are strong in the force. Obi-Wan had not been probing and yet he could feel their presence, bright and warm like the midday sun, reaching out as if to embrace him. As if that thought had made itself known the stranger's shields abruptly slam down with a faint air of apology. Having ascertained that his new friend seemed to mean him no harm Obi-Wan felt it time to begin the introductions - he could hardly keep calling him "Stranger" after all, it would be most rude. "I am Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi, currently on assignment to investigate the source of a distress signal emanating from this planet. You appear to recognise me, but I'm afraid you have me at a disadvantage. I am certain we have not met before." Another smile, a little more genuine this time. "Your force presence is rather distinctive." Gloved hands reach up to remove the heavy hood, revealing the face a young man with strangely familiar features. He is smiling broadly, blue eyes shining with sincerity as he opens his mouth to speak but nothing emerges. Blond brows furrow in confusion as he tries again, only to fall silent once more. With barely a whisper of effort Obi-Wan feels him call on the force for guidance (how easily it responds! powerful indeed, though his technique lacks somewhat in finesse, much like another young man he knows) before looking somewhat resigned. "My name is Luke. I'm sorry, but I can't seem to tell you more than that." He says with a sheepish grin. His accent is pure Rim, unusual for a Jedi - even Anakin had adopted something closer to the smooth tones of Coruscant. On the other hand he hardly knew every member of the order, and given the course of the war it was completely possible for a Jedi to have spent very little time at the temple. Still, Obi-Wan was beginning to get a very bad feeling about this. 

"I can say this is not at all what I was expecting though" the stranger, no, Luke, continues as he moves closer, eyes taking in his surroundings in a series of rapid glances but always returning to Obi-Wan's face. "Oh? What were you expecting, if you don't mind me asking." Obi-Wan asks, gesturing again for him to join him by the fire, hiding his growing unease beneath the veneer of politeness. The apparent interference from the force is alarming, just like everything else on this planet, but it would not do to let his worry show. ( the force tells him there is no danger but all his well honed instincts are screaming; whatever comes he will not leave this cavern the same as he entered) Luke's bright smile turns a little secretive as he nears, and his eyes twinkle with suppressed mirth as he looks up to meet Obi-Wan's eyes. "A conversation with someone a bit bluer more transparent than you seem to be." (more ghosts. oh that did not bode well.) "The sudden change in scenery and the fact that I can't feel my companions is also kind of a surprise." The young man adds somewhat wryly. "I don't know exactly where I am now, but I know it's nowhere near where I was a moment ago." There it is. More impossibilities. Obi-Wan hates being right. "I fear it seems to be something of a trend on this planet" he sighs. "Along with ghostly conversations. While I cannot give you answers as to why you are here, if you are still here in the morning I will see what we can do to get you back where you belong. Provided of course you are not a force apparition or some kind of Sith trickery" he mutters. "Which knowing my luck is a distinct possibility." Luke lets out a rather indelicate snort of laughter before reaching for his lightsaber, clearly telegraphing his every move. The blade lights up a bright emerald green, and the young man grins. "Not a Sith." For all their levity the words carry an unspoken weight, a sense of conviction that only comes in the wake of personal struggle and Obi-Wan shifts his assessment of the young knight, for that is what he must be, up several notches​. The war has exposed many Jedi to the effects of the dark side first hand, but few are willing to face their own potential for darkness and risk doubt eroding the foundations of their will.  (a flash of red, a cry of pain, rising anger and it would be so easy to let it consume him, so easy to give in to the rage and betray his master in the worst of ways. but he can never truly forsake those he loves, and the dark retreats). A warm hand around his wrist brings him back to the here and now. "Not an apparition either." Luke says and Obi-Wan can feel the solidity of his presence, the steady thrum of his heartbeat. Luke cocks his head to the side and adds "At least not totally, the Force is rather insistent I be here though. Maybe I..." Again his mouth moves as if to continue the thought only to by stymied by the Force itself, and the younger man lets out a frustrated huff.

Obi-Wan sighs and rubs a hand through his beard. “And of course you can't tell me more. Wonderful. I suppose I should be grateful you don't speak only in cryptic statements that won't become clear until well after the advice would have been useful.”

Luke gives him an undecipherable look. (the fact that it is remarkably reminiscent of anakin’s “ i cannot believe the bantha shit that comes out of your mouth sometimes master” look is neither here nor there) “I could try if you want? I’ve never been particularly good at that sort of thing but my Master was an expert.” He pauses. “Actually, they both did their best to confuse me. One was just more blunt about it”

It startles a laugh out of Obi-Wan, despite the unwelcome reminder that the war orphaned more than a few Padawans nearing knighthood (could he have accepted another master had he not been knighted? or would he have taken anakin and left? he doesn't know and it scares him). “No, no I don't think that will be necessary. Though should you feel the need to live up to your legacy I warn you that I was taught by the best - Master Qui-Gon could turn a prediction about the weather into ominous portent of doom when he wanted to. It amused him far too much...”

He tries to keep his tone light hearted but something in his voice must give away his inner turmoil, as Luke watches him with sympathetic interest.

“It sounds like you still miss him.” There is a note of pain underlying the statement and Obi-Wan could kick himself - he hadn't meant to bring back the other man’s trauma on top of his own. As a councilor technically he should give the standard response about there being no death, only the Force ( and it appears that his master has gone out of his way to demonstrate as much...if only it had been a happier meeting), but given his own experiences as young knight he feels more practical tone will not go astray.

“I do. And I always will.  There is no shame in mourning those who are gone, but we must remember that the best way to honour their memory is to continue on in a way the would make them proud.” He places a hand on the other man's shoulder, squeezing reassuringly. "I may not know your full story, but from what I see I can only imagine that your Master would be very proud of what you have become.”

There is silence, and Obi-Wan courteously turns away to give Luke a chance to compose himself (he ignores his own emotions, still raw from recollection. his new friend deserves support, not further grief). He hears Luke take a deep breath, and when he next speaks his voice is thoughtful, with only a slight waver betraying his prior emotions. 

"You know, I think I figured out why the force sent me here."

"Oh? Do tell." Obi-wan keeps his voice soft, a polite enquiry with just a hint of amusement. Perhaps he hasn't managed to entirely kriff up this situation after all.

"I... Be.. Master Kenobi, will you trust me?"

Obi-Wan raises an eyebrow, ready to make a flippant comment about the wisdom of trusting randomly appearing Jedi knights with mysterious force bindings but stops. There is something deeply serious about Luke's demeanor; an unwavering sense of importance to his question. Does he trust him? He has given him no reason not to, but can Obi-Wan trust anything in this uncanny place? The Force seems to think so, and a Jedi must follow the will of the Force.

He nods. Immediately he is engulfed. His shields are buffeted by overwhelming waves of joy and affection as strong arms wrap tightly around his torso. It is like being surrounded by an ocean, powerful  and deep. It is like lying in the middle of a sunlit field, bathed in warmth and light as clouds move lazily overhead. It is like standing beside his master in the wake of a successful mission,like laughing with his padawan as they show off their lightsaber skills in a friendly spar, like sitting in the mess watching his Grand-Padawan bicker with the men over the latest holonews. Luke embraces him, mind and body and for a moment there is no war, no doubt, only peace.

He doesn't know how long he basks in the feeling but eventually he notices the soft muttering coming from the vicinity of his neck. Gently he pulls away slightly - not enough to dislodge the other, but enough that he is no longer wedged tightly beneath his chin. “Pardon?”

Luke's head remains bowed, but his voice, though barely a whisper is sincere and accompanies  yet another outpouring of emotion.

“Thank you. Thank you, for everything you've done. For me. For everyone. Thank you.”

Somehow he knows he means every word. But it makes no sense.He does not know Luke,has never met him for all that he feels like an old friend. And yet the Force is clear. Luke cares for him, misses him, is undeniably attached to him and Obi-Wan honestly has no idea how to respond. “I… But...I haven't done anything?”

Luke looks up, cheeks glistening​ with​ tears, but his smile is gentle and his eyes are full of love. “Not yet. But you will... Master.”

Oh. Oh! The Force sings with the truth even as his brain struggles to deny it.  Time and space mean nothing here, and the final proof of this is slowly lowering them both to the ground as Obi-Wan grapples with the revelation. He would be mortified at his reaction but he is too busy dealing with the implications. Time travel. Not just visions but actual time travel. Why would the Force allow this? Does it have to do with him being dead in his (former? future? what is the correct tense for temporal displacement?) student’s time? Why bring him here?

The lightsaber should have been a giveaway, its lines clearly reminiscent of the one tucked into his own belt. Luke lacks Anakin's bulk, and Obi-Wan thinks it must have been pleasant not to have his Padawan towering over him all the time. It seems the dark clothing will remain a constant, though the lack of grease stains and burn marks on Luke's jacket is a nice change. Something about the young knight's face makes his brain itch, but he puts it aside. He’d often thought about taking another Padawan, but between the war and his own doubts he was content with overseeing Anakin and Ahsoka’s partnership. Now he marvels at a future where he is responsible for yet another powerful Jedi with attachment issues and a heart of gold. He can think of far worse legacies. And on that note...

He arches one eyebrow. “An expert at cryptic statements hmm?”

Luke does his best to look contrite. He fails. “From a certain point of view.”

“Oh I definitely taught you that one!” Obi-Wan admits with a rueful grin “I do hope you gave me an easier time of it than your predecessor, I have enough grey hairs as it is.”

Luke laughs helplessly. “I doubt it. You left me your diaries. I had no idea you knew about the incident with the water smugglers. Or the bar f-ghk...” He shakes his head to rethink his words. “But you somehow managed to keep me alive and out of captivity long enough for me to reach adulthood. There was so much you did, so much you gave, and you never said...”

And didn't that sound familiar. Well, at least he knows the future doesn't change him too much. He reaches out and pulls the younger man into his shoulder.

“And I’m sure my older self felt it never needed to be said. Are you happy?”

“What? I mean, I suppose? Things aren't perfect, but my a friends and I, we're working on it. There's a lot to be done, but we can do it.”

“Then whatever he did, I know I would have considered it well worth it.”

For a long moment they sit together in silent contentment. But the night will not last forever, and Obi-Wan needs to be prepared to face the morning.

“ I’m overjoyed to have met you, but I doubt the Force brought you here solely for the purpose of reassuring your old Master that his days of chasing after over-energetic Padawans are not yet done. ”

“No” Luke's expression is serene, without a hint of uncertainty. “ I think that's exactly what the Force intended. Sometimes a single light is all you need to hold back the dark, and without giving anything away, it’s likely things are going to be pretty dark for you in the near future.”

It’s an ominous thought, but between this planet and the war in general Obi-Wan can believe it. Still, it's a bit ridiculous - he could understand if it were Anakin, the Force does tend to favour its Chosen One, but him? He shakes his head in denial, only to be interrupted.

“No, listen Be- Obi-Wan. You are more important than you think. Without you…” Luke's voice stops and starts, the Force intervening as he speaks, but he is intent on passing on his message. “ Without you so many things will be so much worse. I…  Even without me, even right now you have people who need you, who love you, who would miss you. You… If you fall we all fall. Trust me. ”

Luke is earnest, and a horrible feeling settles in his gut as he thinks it through. Anakin, Anakin alone would be enough- hadn't he just thought as much? To lose him would be devastate his former Padawan, with his emotional nature it would not take much more to push him to breaking point. And given the power at his disposal…

His thoughts must show, because Luke nods.

“Attachments go both ways, and I’ve had them used against me. But there is strength there too. Don't underestimate the power in knowing you are loved.” He looks thoughtful. “Which is the point I think. You need to remember that.” A wave of strong affection reinforces his words.

Obi-Wan cannot find it in himself to argue any more. Luke, he muses, will fit right in with the rest of his line. He can already imagine the headaches he will cause among the more orthodox Jedi, it is after all very difficult to rebut a man whose entire debate style seems to be based on unabashed sincerity. (he thinks his master would be proud.he knows he is).  

“ I will. I promise.” He mock glares at Luke. “Even if it means another couple of decades of students past and present  making a nuisance of themselves fretting over my general well being.”

Said nuisance snickers, the expression so familiar. Unrepentant blue eyes look into his own.

“Sorry, I’m told it's genetic.”

The last few things click into place and of course. Of course. It seems his fate is to be forever entwined with that of ridiculous, overdramatic Skywalkers. He takes a deep breath.  He should be angry, outraged in the face of proof that Anakin will leave the Jedi, leave him and all his teachings behind (and now he looks he can see the hint of padmé in luke's cheekbones, the echo of her lips in his smile) but all Obi-Wan can feel is an overwhelming sense of joy. Here is Anakin's child, full grown and strong and so firmly planted in the light. Here stands a knight, tested and true and no doubt recklessly running of to save the galaxy now and then. Here is a future full of hope, in the middle of a present filled with darkness. How can he not rejoice in the gift he has been given?

He places a hand either side of Luke’s face (nephew, student, family. he will not be left alone again.) taking in his features, reaching out to memorise his signature in the Force. He will not waste this opportunity.

“I know you can't tell me anything, as much as I know you want to. But Luke? I am dearly looking forward to meeting you, and to watching you grow.” The part of him that struggles with expressing emotion would leave it there, but if this is his only chance… He clears his throat.  “I doubt you will ever lack for love, not knowing your parents, but just in case, you should know that you most certainly have mine.”

There is something infinitely sad about Luke’s smile.

“Somehow, I think I always knew.”

Obi-Wan doesn't stop to think, he simply pulls his Padawan (nephew, family, hope) back into his arms. Luke takes the opportunity to rearrange things so they are comfortably resting against one another. “Come on.” The young man says softly. “You need to sleep. I’ll bet anything there's a Skywalker in need of rescuing come morning.”

Obi-Wan snorts. “There’ll be more than one if you’re still here. I haven't a clue about the correct protocol in case of time travelling but I know Anakin will find a way to make thing worse.”

The body wrapped around his own shakes with silent laughter, and as he shuts his eyes Obi-Wan cannot help but wonder if he is the only getting a much needed glimpse of the future tonight. ************* In a tower surrounded by lightning Anakin Skywalker cannot sleep. It might be because of the Father's refusal to speak clearly, or the distressing use of his mother's visage by the Son, but most likely it is due to his latest acquaintance.

Anakin glares at the apparition. The apparition glares back. "Look, I don't know what your problem is, but if you don't mind I've already had one unwelcome visitor tonight and I would like to get some sleep."

The dark haired woman continues to glare, opening her mouth as if to yell, only for the words to  again be strangled by some unknown force. She snarls, and Anakin is impressed by the sheer amount of outrage contained by that tiny frame.

“I don't know you lady, but whatever is making you angrier than a gundark with mange? Is not my fault.”

Her laughter is borders on the hysterical and her voice stops with sarcasm.

“Of course not! Why should it be? Just because everything else that’s ever gone wrong in my life is!”

Anakin groans. Somehow he doesn't think he’ll be getting much sleep tonight. *********

Obi-Wan is alone when he wakes. A quick prod with the Force tells him Ahsoka is just outside the mouth of the cave, most likely checking that they can safely leave.

 Of his visitor there is no sign, and he would dismiss it as dream but for the dusty cloak, slightly too short in the hem, that has been carefully tucked around his shoulders.

 He smiles, feeling more hopeful than he can remember being since before the war began. Time to go gather his family and get off this rock. Prophecy can go hang, they have a war to win future to forge. Together.

**************** Aaaand that's where the rest of the Mortis arc happens and they leave with no memories and only the vague feelings, except I have decided that the force fucked up and both our generals ended up with a ghostly spectator for the remainder of the clone wars, providing emotional support and advice. Well, Luke does anyway. Leia tends to spend a lot more time screaming at Anakin about his bad ideas, before they start to bond over Padmé's being awesome and their concerns over reckless self sacrificing idiots. Someday I'll get around to writing it.😊

[mesdea]

The Philosophy of Lost Chances Chapter 9

This is my last week of medical leave and I'm a bit nervous to be back in the swing of things again. I thank you all for your well wishes that have been sent. I know I've never been more than a few days late in posting, but I would ask for a bit of leeway this next couple of weeks as I get settled in to my routine. I will still try my best to update on my days off, Thursday or Friday.

All the comments for the last chapter blew me away. I truly thank each and every one of you. They really mean the world to me and push me to keep going. So in saying that, please let me know how you feel about this chapter.

“Meditate”, it’s what Obi-Wan kept repeating to the desperate whisper that echoed inside his head. The force willed them together, he was meant to be someone else’s padawan. It was always in the back of his mind that something wasn’t quite right, but he was so grateful for his relationship with Mace that he never truly tried to follow that line of thought. He thought back to the moment in the council chambers when he was taken by such a kind and powerful master. He never thought to question why a councilor would step down from his responsibilities to take on a very young initiate. He now had a very hard answer to that particular question. “Jinn.” The word was barely whispered from his lips as he sank to his knees into the comforting arms of the force.

Time passed as Obi-Wan extended out into the force for what he could only conclude were answers. He needed to know why. He needed to understand his own emotions that seemed to grow darker the more he asked. Jedi are meant to follow the force, they are mean to listen to its guidance, if that was the case, whom was truly listening?  Had it been Master Yoda that always seemed to look a bit sad when gazing on Mace and Obi-Wan when they trained? Had it been Master Windu, when from time to time he looked like he wished to speak on something but stopped? So many questions, so many different answers inside the young man’s head, but he only wanted to feel the comfort of the force, to get the answers from the one thing that had never failed him.

The garden around him started to change color from the beautiful sunshine into the shadows of the night. He had been on his knees for most of the day and yet he was no closer to an answer, it was as if the force was refusing him. The soil around his knees started to itch and ache as he came out of meditation, frustrated and still vexed.

~It’s been years since you had issues meditating, young one.~ The thoughts flowed through his bond with his master and he couldn’t help but smile at the warmth. Their bond that had been in place for years, how could he now question any part of it.

~I didn’t mean to disturb you, Master.~ Obi-Wan rose from the dirt and brushed off aching knees as he felt a sudden wave of guilt for his thoughts. ~You need to rest Master. Don’t worry about me.~

He could almost hear Mace’s larger than life chuckle through the bond. ~That is like asking water to not be wet, my own. Would you join me, I wish to speak to you face to face.~

Obi-Wan Kenobi, Padawan to Jedi Councilor Master Mace Windu was many things, but afraid of confrontation was not one of them. He had always thrived on diplomacy and negotiations. Why now was he so reluctant to stand and face the man that had meant everything to him for more than a decade? “Because it’s personal.” His mind told him. ~I shall be there in a moment, my master.~

The bond closed and Mace allowed his apprentice to ensure his shields were holding and to take a moment of self-reflection.  He was starting to feel physically better, and couldn’t wait to get out the healer’s bed, but he knew he had at least a day or two more before he was out of their clutches. He had awoken to his padawan’s confusion and sadness, knowing something had happened for his shields to be at such a level. He felt him enter meditation and settled to wait for him to come out. He was almost positive this had to do with Qui-Gon. That man always seemed to be at the heart of everything when it came between the three.

Suddenly the door slid open and revealed a pale faced man that looked overwhelmingly tired. Mace realized that he no longer thought of him as a young man, just a man. When did that happen? He had to ask himself as he continued to look on his form.  The pale skin was just the surface of what were lines of worry in his face, hands stuffed into his cloak in a nervous habit from the past. This only happened when something was bothering him that he didn’t want to talk about. Just as Mace was about to speak, his Padawan approached the bed and kneeled before it. His head pressed lightly against the sheets as he started to speak. “Forgive me, master.”

Mace reached out and gently stroked the spikey threads of hair that were so soft under his fingers. His padawan was never this penitent unless he truly thought he had done something wrong, so Mace decided to allow Obi-Wan his leeway. “And what am I forgiving you for, young one?”

“I have not been faithful to your teachings.” Obi-Wan pulled his shielding tighter, not wanting his master to feel his doubts.

Mace just smiled weakly and lifted his chin to see Obi-Wan’s deeply grey eyes. “You have always done my teachings proud, Obi-Wan. You are your own man now, ready to be a knight. Have the courage to tell me what is bothering you, please?”

Obi-Wan looked sincerely into the caring eyes of his master. He had been so much to the young boy, teacher, father and friend. He taught him what it meant to be a Jedi, more important, he taught him to be a man. How could he now question if he was the one meant to do it? His eyes shadowed over and he fought the courage to express himself. “Why did you take me?”

Mace knew this talk was a long time in coming, especially when a tall brooding maverick had re-entered their life. He didn’t misunderstand the question, even though he could have. “You know that sometimes I see shatter points in the force. Moments that can instantly change the course of the future. I often thought them a nuisance and ignored them. Until one day I met a scrawny little initiate that questioned everything, including the force itself. Upon the moment, I had a vision.”

Obi-Wan looked up into the eyes of the man he loved like a father, knowing this was the story he should have heard ages ago. “It is no longer your future; at least I hope it’s not. So I won’t tell you the details, other than it was not a life I would wish on anyone, especially such a bright light as yours.” Mace swallowed and looked down on the confused padawan.

“I don’t understand, you only took me because of a future that may or may not have happened?”

“Don’t misunderstand me, Obi. You were a bright child in the light and had I not seen that bright light, I would not have taken you as my padawan. I just had a little help from the force. Master Yoda was pushing hard for another master and I didn’t want that future for you.”

“Master Jinn…” The two words were like a benediction from the lips of Obi-Wan.

“Yes. Many people look on me and think I hate Qui-Gon. They think we grew apart and only more so because I stole “his” padawan. Nothing could be further from the truth. We grew up together. We trained together; we even took our trials within a few weeks of the other. He was my best friend, my brother in arms and once upon a time there may have even been…more.” Obi-Wan watched Mace speak and saw how his eyes softened at the recollection of their past together.

“You…You loved each other?” Obi-Wan almost squeaked, not really thinking about his master’s love life before.

“It was never like that, young one. We never, acted on our feelings. I think in the end we just realized that we were meant to be less, but more. It’s all very hard to talk about or put into words, but I still care about him. It tore me apart to see him become this shell of a man.”

“Then why did you not help him!” Obi-Wan raised his voice, unable to understand how a council member would watch him sink.

Mace sighed once again and sat up straight in the bed, patting the younger man’s hand. “It sounds so simple from your words, but it was anything but. When Xanatos first broke from our ranks, we thought for sure that Master Jinn would follow. We offered him help, we had mind-healers take a look, we even each tried to offer comfort and support in our own ways.”

“He wasn’t ready, was he?” Obi-Wan once more softened his look and tried to make sense of such a mess.

“No. He wasn’t ready for anything. He refused the healers; he just sat silent when we offered to listen. He demanded mission after mission to avoid the temple and after a while, I guess it was just easier to give him what he wanted. He seemed successful at each and every mission, so we figured he had healed himself, at least enough to function.” Mace felt guilty at this, knowing that his friend was coping, but not healed, he should have done more.

“Please tell me the truth, why did you take me as a padawan?” Obi-Wan steeled his body for the answer.

“I took you because of your light and your heart, Obi-Wan. I took you because I saw what you could become at someone else’s’ hands.” Mace swallowed, knowing he had to finish this thought. “I took you because you would have healed Master Jinn, but the cost to yourself was too high.”

“Obi…” Obi-Wan raised his hand to stop his master. This was the secret that seemed to always be around the corner, this was the reason he always felt just a bit off.  “Please, Obi-Wan, listen to me.”

“There is nothing to listen to. I don’t really know how I feel about all this, but you have nothing to say that will change the past. You took me in and taught me everything I know today, including compassion and love. How exactly do I put that together and face that the force meant for me to have another?” It was all so confusing and a single tear ran down Obi-Wan’s face.

“Forgive me, please. I only did what I thought was best for you.” Mace wiped the tear away, hoping against hope that this hadn’t broken what they had.

“I only hope I will love someone enough to do the same one day. I cannot fault you with caring for me, Master. I just wish you had told me sooner.” Obi-wan stood up and gently crawled into the already too small bed of his master. His arms wrapped tightly around the man he would call father and he let it all go, perhaps not into the force, but just into the world around them. He let his master feel his confusion, his love, his bitterness, everything.

“Never have I regretted having you in my life, never.” Mace pulled the man closer to his body, hugging him tightly in an embrace that he hoped would never end. He let his apprentice ease his emotions the only way he knew how at the moment, small sobs turning into sniffles and hiccups. “It’s ok Padawan mine.”

They rocked together, sharing their thoughts and emotions through their bond. “Did Qui-Gon tell you all this?” Mace felt he needed confirmation.

“Yes. He was not doing well, and I talked him through it.” Obi-Wan didn’t think they needed to know about Qui-Gon’s panic attacks just yet, it wasn’t his place. “He told me the story of his Xanatos.”

This brought a gasp from Mace. “Qui-Gon has never spoken of that time since his account in front of the council. He refused to speak of it with anyone else after that day.” Maybe the force was right, maybe his padawan could heal his friend, perhaps it just wasn’t time until now.

“After the story, I asked him if this was why he refused a padawan.  He then asked me if I knew why I had been taken so young.” Obi-Wan squeezed Mace’s hand when he felt guilt through their bond. “I was shocked to say the least. I felt as if I had been lied to and something was taken from me. I really couldn’t explain it.”

“I’m sorry…” Obi-Wan cut him off quickly.

“No more. I am not sorry that you took me in. I won’t lie and say I don’t wonder what it would have been like to be Qui-Gon’s padawan, but it’s in the past and nothing can change that now. You were a great man, master and friend and I regret nothing. You were my past and my present and perhaps maybe he is my future.” The padawan blushed slightly, wondering where the feelings of warmth had come from.

“You truly are ready, Obi-Wan Kenobi. I can teach you no more.” His master beamed at him proudly.

Obi-Wan reached out through the force, trying to pinpoint the brooding master that had entangled his life so quickly. There, in another garden. He was starting to see a pattern with the man that oozed the living force. He reached out just a bit, brushing the shields of a man he hoped to call friend one day.

The smile on Obi-Wan’s face lit up as a small shield was lowered and warmth was answered with warmth. “You should go to him, Padawan.” Mace smiled knowingly.

Just as he was pressing his body upward to do just that, an intense pain lanced through his head and brought a gut wrenching scream from his mouth. There was pain, excruciating pain and then suddenly nothing as his body started to breathe once again.

“Padawan?! Obi-Wan?!” Mace was pulling Obi-Wan up to the bed once more, trying to offer comfort as he called for the healers. Something was wrong, something had gone horribly wrong. “Obi-Wan, please talk to me.” The master was rocking the young man back and forth.

“Qui…He was t-there and in pain. Gone…” Obi-Wan was breathing through the retreating pain. “I had reached out to him and he let me in at the same time….” Obi-Wan started to panic and pushed back at the hands that were trying to hold him.  He needed to get away, he needed to find Jinn. “I need to find…Please let me go.” No one could get through to the panic, until Mace uttered the word, “Sleep…”

Obi-Wan collapsed into the hands of the healers, his face flush from the panic. “Someone please contact security and check up on Master Jinn.” Mace started to push himself out of the bed, only to see the healers gasp. “You are no ready to be out of bed yet.”

“If something has happened to Master Jinn, I will be needed there, not in a bed.” The doctor pursed her lips and knew he would go no matter what. “If you die, it’s on your own head.” Mace just laughed slightly. “Understood.”

Mace walked sluggishly as he let the force flow through him, it led him to a small garden off the pathway. He saw signs of knees in the dirt, large knees. It had to be where Qui-Gon had been meditating, but why would he be in danger within the palace. There were so many questions running through his head at that moment he barely heard the queen and her guards enter. “Master Windu, it is good to see you up and around.”

“Thank you, my lady. Something happened to Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan was…Well he felt extreme pain in the force and then there was nothing. It was as if Qui-Gon Jinn simply disappeared and didn’t exist.”

Panaka started to look around the area and noticed slight drag marks away from the meditation area. “No really signs of a struggle, other than these drag marks. I would think that if something happened to Qui-Gon he wouldn’t have gone this quietly.” Mace nodded.

“Who was the last one to talk to him, does anyone know?” Mace wobbled just a bit, catching his balance within the force.

“That would be me, I believe.” The words were spoken softly, but with authority as they all looked upon Chancellor Palpatine. “I saw him meditating in the garden and wanted to thank him again for everything the Jedi have done for Naboo. He seemed to have a slight headache, so I left him to his meditation.”

“Did you see anyone else around the area, Chancellor?” Mace interjected.

“I’m sorry I did not, do you think the master was taken? He has seemed trouble in the two times I’ve seen him. Perhaps he just went for a walk outside these walls.” Mace closed his eyes for a moment and let the force stretch around them.  His own head exploding into a headache the more he stretched out for answers.

“I don’t know. I can’t feel him in the force, at all.” Panaka stood to his left and gently offered a hand to Mace, trying to keep himself upright.

“I’m sure he is fine and just taking a walk, nothing to be concerned with.” The politician waved it all off and excused himself.

“We will find Master Jinn, Mace. I promise.” The queen gave him a soft look and escorted Mace back to the healers ward to look after Obi-Wan. He was in a bed, his eyes closed, but not sleeping gently as his body reacted to something else. He was…dreaming. Mace sat by his side, clasping his hand as he tried to puzzle what was going on.

Deep below the surface of the palace there was an underground chamber, its walls damp and musty from the depth. The room itself blank, except for a chain and a man. The man was naked as the day he was born, expect for a collar that held him in place to the chain. Suddenly the darkness of the room was illuminated and he looked at the dark hooded figure before him. He couldn’t feel the force, he couldn’t feel the breath of life that had been with him since birth. He started to panic and pull at the chain, bloodying his hands and neck with his pulls.

“Yes, Yes. Keep struggling. I felt your darkness before, your loathing, your hatred. You, Qui-Gon Jinn shall become my new apprentice…” The man lowered his hood and looked directly at him.

“No…You’re extinct, children’s stories…” Qui-Gon back up against the wall, his body was thrumming with adrenaline and fear as he looked on the yellow eyes of their long gone extinct enemy, a Sith.

The loud cackle sent chills down his spine. “You will find that you are mistaken about a great many things, MY apprentice.”

Qui-Gon pushed his back up against the corner of the room, his body shaking. “No…No…NO!” The words only seem to excite the man before him more. “Obi-wan…” The soft word was barely audible as the beating began.