#objectively a fucked up concept right. well the first session i decided that it was going to mimic other peoples mannerisms and speech

[okthatsgreat]

i think i am physically incapable of making a serious dnd character. like i come up with a concept that is actually pretty horrifying and absolutely should have serious ramifications on the character that i am playing but then i rock up to the session and suddenly i have to be a comedian its a disease

[wandaromanova]

Can u do a fic where fem!reader and Nat are broken up and they’re pretty hostile with each other but when one of them gets hurt on a mission they realize they’re still in love and get back together thank u if u write this :)))))))

I Love You

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader

Warnings: cussing, violence, that’s it i believe

A/N: hi! i hit 300 followers! i posted my very first story 3 weeks ago and only had like 10 followers then. i can’t even begin to express how grateful i am that i’ve been able to bring people joy (or pain lol) with my stories. thank you. not proofread. <3

Summary: Ex-lovers Natasha and Y/N dance around their feelings for each other. They decide that hostility was the best course of action.

Word Count: 2.5K

(gif is not mine)

You and Natasha dated for a year and a half before you guys decided to call it quits. It was a mutual agreement, but there was still some sort of bad blood between the both of you that was painfully obvious. The tension could be cut with a knife.

You guys were going great at first. You both understood each other on a level that no one else could. You would do typical couple things in order to compensate for the lack of stability and domesticity you’ve both had in your lives. Movie nights, designated date nights, cuddle sessions in the late hours of the night, and literally every other cliche there was in the book.

However, you and Natasha were both raised in similar environments. From young ages, you guys were trained to conceal your true emotions and that love was for children. So, communicating with one another was something that the both of you didn’t know how to do.

You didn’t try to communicate and neither did she; and there lied the problem. Natasha would absolutely freak on you if you so much as looked at another person. You would get upset if Natasha went on a mission without informing you first. There were so many pointless arguments that occurred between you and Natasha. Arguments that could’ve been avoided or solved if you guys were able to just talk to each other.

You would say that you guys did talk… just in a higher volume than normal conversation. The yelling between you both could be heard throughout the compound. Most times, you would get so fed up and tired from the arguing, that you didn’t even know why you guys were fighting anymore. It wasn’t healthy and you knew it.

You and Natasha never once told each other the big three words. That was a line neither of you dared to cross. Like the Red Room and The Academy taught you both, love was a weakness and was nothing more than a concept believed by children. You’d like to think that actions spoke louder than words, though.

You could feel the love between you both in the way you would hold onto one another after a mission had gone wrong. You could feel it in the way Natasha worried and panicked when you’d come back from a mission with so much as a scratch above your eyebrow. However, you still could not bring yourself to tell her how you felt. Not that it would matter now, considering you guys had broken up.

It’s been five months since the breakup, and at first your plan of action was to be civil with your ex-girlfriend, but she had other plans. Natasha would bark out snarky remarks whenever you would speak up during team meetings. She began to give you cold glares whenever you walked into a room. God forbid you would even breathe in her direction, she would storm out of a room at the speed of light if you did so.

So, you began to act the same way she was. Okay, yes, it was extremely childish thinking. You should be mature, regardless of how Natasha was treating you, but you couldn’t be civil anymore. So you would treat her just as harshly as she did you. You’d send her sharper glares than she would give you. You’d never listen to anything she had to add during mission meetings, being sure to make it obvious you weren’t paying attention. And you would always counter her hostile comments that were directed towards you.

The team was currently sat in a meeting. You and Natasha were meant to be sent on a mission together, to which you both immediately objected.

“Steve, do I really have to go with that over there? I’d rather go myself and risk dying than go with her.” Natasha pointed in your direction and you were immediately offended by her statement.

“No, I would rather go and die than have to hear one more word out of your god damn mouth. You’re such a bitch.” You spoke as you stood up from your seat, Natasha following suit. Natasha walked across the room and stopped in front of you. She harshly shoved a finger against your chest.

“What the fuck did you just call me? You better take it back before I make sure you never talk again.” Natasha glared at you intensely as she stared into your eyes. You returned her stare with a bored expression on your face.

“I said you’re a bitch. What are you going to do about it, Widow?” You asked her challengingly. Natasha moved to pounce on you, but Bucky, who was sitting next to your spot, sprung in and intervened.

“Let her go Barnes. I’d love to kick her ass.” You smirked as your words only enraged Natasha more. She struggled against Bucky’s grip, trying to free herself so she could pound your face into the floor, but she couldn’t break free.

“Okay! Enough. Natasha, you’re off the mission. Y/N, you’re with me. We leave in 10.” Steve spoke with conviction in his voice, fed up with the pair of you. Natasha stopped resisting Bucky’s hold as he slowly let her go. You looked at her with one harsh glare before you took the mission file that was on the table and walked out of the room. As you left, everyone in the room stared at Natasha. She huffed and stormed out of the room as well.

•❅────────✧❅✦❅✧─────────❅•

You and Steve were currently staked out in a van. You guys were spying on one of the leaders of Hydra and an infamous weapons dealer. The man was currently having a lunch with the dealer. You had been sitting there together for about an hour. You were bored out of your mind and pissed that you couldn’t get Natasha out of your mind. You wanted to punch yourself in the face for thinking about how hot she looked when she pissed. The way her eyes would widen, showing off more of her green irises as her eyebrows furrowed together in anger. The way her chest rose and fell as she took deep breaths. God, she had such nice boobs.

Your thoughts were interrupted by the sound of Fury’s voice coming in through comms. “Okay, we evacuated civilians off of the sidewalk in front of the restaurant. Remember, wait until they’re in front of the alley before you attack. They may have weapons.” Fury informed you both and you looked onto the monitor to confirm the empty street. Sure enough, there wasn’t a civilian in sight; good.

Steve replied with a quick “okay” before movement from the door of the restaurant caught your attention. “Steve, there they are. Move out, now.” You spoke as you loaded your gun and attached it to your hip. You and Steve jumped out of the van. Steve threw his shield and hit both of the men with it. His shield came back to him as if ricocheted off of the men.

Your gun was pointed at the both of them as you guys approached them. “Meeting in broad daylight? Doesn’t seem like a smart move for two supposedly genius people.” You spoke as Steve searched the two men for any weapons. They didn’t have any. That should’ve been a red flag, but you weren’t in the right state of mind right now.

Suddenly, another van pulled up in front of the alleyway, right behind the vehicle you both had just exited. Hydra Agents with semi-automatic guns filed out of the van. Fuck. You guys were set up. Steve shared a look with you before he threw his shield toward the men and knocked the guns out of a few of the agent’s hands.

You began to fire towards the men with your own gun. You shot them in the shoulders, sending them flying to the ground in pain. You and Steve made quick work of the men and soon enough, there were unconscious men littered across the floor.

You and Steve turned back to the two men you had previously captured as they laid on the floor in shock. They really thought their little stunt would work? Pathetic. Unfortunately, one of the Hydra agents was still conscious. You and Steve failed to notice the movement behind your backs. The man pointed a nearby gun at you and fired 5 shots at you. He missed three of them, but managed to land two into your abdomen.

You fell to the ground as Steve whipped around and actually knocked the man unconscious this time. “Fury, we need backup! L/N is down!” He spoke frantically into comms as he applied pressure to your wounds. Your eyes were open in shock as you tried to process what just happened. You were shot. It really did hurt like a bitch. What are those black spots? God, I want Natasha right now. Wait, what? No, it’s just the blood loss talking.

You fell unconscious as soon as the backup S.H.I.E.L.D agents appeared on the scene. You were rushed back to the Avengers Compound in one of S.H.I.E.L.D’s vehicles, Steve following you after ensuring the two men were detained. As soon as the car made it to the compound, your unconscious body was placed onto a gurney and you were being rushed to the medical wing.

As your body was being rolled through the halls of the compound, you were pushed by the doctors past Natasha. She did a double take and quickly turned around to confirm what she had just saw. Her heart sunk to her stomach at the sight of your limp, blood-covered body. She ran after you without a second thought, fear and dread taking over.

Natasha tried to enter the medical wing where they had just taken you, but she was stopped by a strong hand abruptly placing itself onto her shoulder. “Nat, we need to let them take care of her. We’d only be disturbing them and we need their focus to 100% be on Y/N.” Steve said in an attempt to convince the redhead to stop her plan of barging into the room like a madwoman. Natasha took one last glance at the door before she heavily sighed and walked to the wall across the door. She slid her back slowly against the wall and placed her head in her hands.

“What happened, Rogers?” Natasha asked, afraid of hearing the answer. Steve went over the events of the mission, and all Natasha could think was that she should’ve been there with you. She would’ve jumped in front of that bullet to save you in a heartbeat because she loved you. Wait. She loved you? Holy fuck! She loved you!

Natasha’s heart rate increased rapidly at her self revelation. She has loved you this entire time. God, she was so fucking blind. How could she not see what was right in front of her? She was madly in love with you. She let the things the Red Room drilled into her affect your relationship. Now, she wasn’t sure if she’d have the opportunity to make it up to you. That thought scared Natasha more than any mission ever could.

•❅────────✧❅✦❅✧─────────❅•

1 hour later

An hour later, and the entire team was sprawled across the hallway of the medical wing. Wanda sat beside Natasha on the floor, comfortingly holding her hand. The rest of the team just stood, anxiously and impatiently waiting to hear about your status.

At the sound of the medical bay door opening, Natasha shot up from her spot on the floor and looked towards Helen Cho. “What’s her status? Is she okay? Did she make it?” Natasha immediately fired off questions at the Doctor. The team stood firmly behind Natasha as they looked at Dr. Cho, their eyes asking her the same questions Natasha did.

“She coded on the table a few times. The bullets hit some major arteries, but we managed to stop the bleeding. If she had arrived even a minute later than she did, she wouldn’t have made it.” The relief of the good news radiated off of earth’s mightiest heroes. Natasha almost let tears escape her eyes, but quickly blinked them back.

“Can I see her?” Natasha asked desperately. “Yes you can, but shes still asleep. The anesthesia was very strong so she’ll be out for a few more hours.” Helen spoke as she opened the door for Natasha. She entered and let out a sigh of relief as she caught sight of your chest rising and falling steadily. Natasha grabbed a nearby chair and placed it right beside your bed. She lightly stroked your hair before she gripped your hand.

•❅────────✧❅✦❅✧─────────❅•

3 hours later

You groaned as you slowly open your eyes and were met with an obnoxiously bright light hovering over you. You heard some shuffling before the light was shut off. You turned your head towards the other person in the room and you rolled your eyes at who it was.

“If you’re here to be an asshole, please leave. I’m not in the mood for it.” You spoke as you watched Natasha sit back down in the chair next to your bed.

“I’m not here for that. I wanted to apologize, Y/N. You were right, I was a bitch. You didn’t deserve the way I treated you, but I was just afraid.” Natasha began to speak as she seemingly appeared nervous. You’ve never seen her nervous before, you’re pretty sure no one ever has.

“I was so terrified because I love you. Everyone I love ends up leaving me, and I couldn’t watch you leave me. So, I thought it was best if I beat you to the punch.” Natasha looked down to her lap and played with her fingers absentmindedly. Your eyes widened as far as they could go at Natasha’s words. She loved you. She actually, verbally said it. That’s a huge fucking deal.

“I know my logic may not make the best sense, but what does make sense is the fact that I love you. I always have and I was just too stupid to tell you. I’m sorry, I love you so much.” Natasha spoke as she tore her gaze from her hands and up to your eyes.

You reached your hand out for hers and she shakily took your hand in hers. You almost let out a gasp at the contact, you missed her touch so much. “I won’t ever leave you, Natasha because I love you too. I’m sorry too. I was just as afraid as you were. We were both stupid.” You let out a little laugh at your last words. Natasha let out a chuckle as a tear fell from her eyes. Oh god, you’ve never seen her cry either.

“You scared me. I thought you weren’t going to make it. When I saw your body being wheeled down here…. all the blood… I-“ Natasha words were cut off as you smashed your lips against hers. You winced as the pain from your gunshot wounds radiated across your body, but you couldn’t care less about that right now. The only thing that mattered in this moment was that the woman you loved, loved you too. You’d never be afraid to express your love for her ever again.

───────── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ──────────

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[sassyhobbits]

Rowaelin college AU pt2

i recently reblogged an older oneshot of mine (you can find it here) and some people said they wanted a pt2. You can probably read this as a standalone, but enjoy!

~~~

There was nothing more euphoric than the moment you finished your last final.

Except maybe that first shot you take to celebrate.

Rowan Whitethorn had already experienced both that day.

The hell of finals week had finally come to its end. The hours upon hours he spent in the library with his peers had paid off. He had felt confident about every exam he had taken. Even statistics. He and Aelin had really focused in and refused to leave her dining room table until they thoroughly understood each and every concept.

Usually, Rowan detested studying. But, studying with Aelin was bearable. Almost enjoyable, actually. As enjoyable as looking at equations and cursing out Excel could be.

But what made it worth it was the fact he got countless hours alone with Aelin. 

After their almost-kiss two months ago, they never mentioned it again. They had slipped back into their roles as friends, determined to keep it that way. Though Rowan knew it wasn't what he really wanted.

It seemed his feelings for Aelin had increased ten-fold after that moment. His eyes were always on her, doing whatever it took to wring smiles and laughs out of her lips. He found more and more ways to spend time with her. Asking her to proofread an essay, more and more study sessions, bringing her a ridiculously sweet coffee that she loved and saying that the barista has messed up his order but in reality, he got it just for her.

He was completely, utterly, enthralled with Aelin Galathynius. Her fire, her spirit, how she was always burning so brightly.

Even now, in a crowded, noisy room, all Rowan had eyes for was her.

In celebration for the end of finals week, Dorian Havilliard had invited a shit-ton of people over for a house party. He was more Aelin’s friend than his, but they got along well enough. 

The house was filled to the brim. Dorian had no problems using his father's copious funds to buy an obscene amount of booze and such knowledge tended to draw a crowd.

Rowan knew Aelin loved parties. He was less of a fan of them himself, but she asked him to come. So he did.

It was packed and loud. Music blasted over tall speakers, people cheered and shouted and laughed over it. There were a group of people in a game of beer pong, which must have been good if their screams were any indications. People were doing body shots of the kitchen island, others making out in the corner.

Rowan was lounging on a couch, sipping at a beer, thankful that Dorian didn't buy the cheap shit. He knew he should be up and socializing, but he was too preoccupied. By Aelin. More importantly, who she was talking to across the room.

Rowan had met Chaol Westfall on a handful of occasions. Aelin had introduced them. She, Chaol, and Dorian had all gone to the same highschool. Rowan had known they were all close, but he hadn't known how close exactly until Aelin let it slip that she and Chaol used to be involved. She had explained it was short and doomed from the start, but still… watching them talk now set Rowan’s skin on edge.

From his spot on the couch, Rowan had the perfect view of the two of them. Aelin was leaning against the counter, plastic red cup dangling from her fingers. She looked beautiful tonight. She had left her golden hair down, letting it spill in thick waves down her shoulders and back. She was dressed simply in a black, cropped tank and what he guessed must be expensive jeans. Aelin always had sophisticated tastes. Her face was tilted up at Chaol, the two of them sharing a laugh. 

Rowan ground his teeth and took another sip of his beer. Aelin had said she and Chaol were better off as friends, but they were standing with such an intimate sort of casualty that it drove him up the wall. And when Aelin placed her hand on his upper arm… gods, Rowan could barely watch.

Thankfully, he was distracted from his self-imposed misery when someone plopped down beside him. Rowan glanced to his left, finding Aedion settling back with a beer of his own. 

"Hey man," Aedion said before glancing towards where Rowan had previously been looking. His turquoise eyes, identical to Aelin’s, turned back to him. “You ever gonna ask her out?”

“Who?”

“Aelin. Who else?”

Rowan choked on his beer, quickly managing to regain control over his breathing. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Aedion rolled his eyes. “Come on, Rowan. It’s obvious that you two are into each other. It’s exhausting watching you two dance around it. So ask her out already.”

Rowan looked at his roommate incredulously. “Are you serious? She’s like your little sister. I figured you’d be telling me to fuck off.”

Aedion threw his head back and released a loud bark of laughter. “Aelin would castrate me if I ever tried that, as she phrases it, territorial bullshit. She’s her own woman capable of making her own choices, including those about who she dates.”

Rowan couldn’t believe what he was hearing. The main reason he had never made an advance on Aelin was because of his friendship with Aedion. But hearing his explanation about it now… Aelin would berate him to no end if she found out. It wasn’t like her to let any man get in the way of a decision she wants to make.

“I… I just need the right time,” Rowan said pathetically, not knowing how else to express himself.

“Well, I don’t mean to rush you,” Aedion drawled, swinging his gaze back towards Aelin and Chaol stood. “But Aelin likes you a lot. I suggest making a move before she settles for someone else.”

He was right. Rowan knew deep in his gut that Aedion was right. Aelin would never wait around, putting her life on pause, waiting for another man to act. She was proactive, she was strong. It would do him good to remember that. 

Rowan set his jaw in determination, gulping down the rest of his beer and pushing to his feet. He tried his hardest to ignore the grin of satisfaction Aedion sent his way as he strode across the room.

Rowan tried his best to gracefully maneuver through the crowd, not wanting to get himself into a fight now that he finally decided to act. 

He finally made it to the kitchen, coming up upon them. Aelin spotted him first over Chaol’s shoulder, her face breaking out in a wide, bright grin.

“Rowan!” she greeted. “There you are! And just in time to meet Yrene.”

It was then that Rowan noticed the woman who had come up and pressed herself against Chaol’s side. She was a stout girl, golden brown skin splattered with freckles and a head full of righteous curls.

“Nice to meet you,” Yrene said, jutting out her hand. “I’m Chaol’s girlfriend.”

Rowan took her hand, trying to not let his surprise show. “It’s nice to meet you.”

Aelin nudged Yrene with her elbow playfully. “She finally managed to escape from her pre-med work and have some fun!”

Yrene rolled her eyes in good fun. Rowan could tell it was something she probably heard a lot. Pre-med majors did have absolutely packed schedules.

Of course Chaol had a girlfriend and Rowan had stressed himself out over nothing. The gods decided he needed to learn some humility after letting himself stew in jealousy.

Rowan looked back to Aelin, placing a hand on her lower back before he could think better of it. “Can I talk to you for a bit?”

Although she looked a bit confused, Aelin nodded. She knocked back the rest of whatever the hell was in her cup, tossing it into the trash, before reaching down and taking his hand. “Let’s go somewhere quieter. It’s too damn loud in here.”

Rowan didn’t object as she began tugging him by the hand through the house, expertly weaving through the crowd. She shouted a quick hello at Dorian when they passed him. He seemed very content, though Rowan wasn’t exactly sure why. Manon Blackbeak was perched on his lap and although she was beautiful, she was terrifying. Dorian didn’t seem to mind.

Aelin eventually tugged him through the front door, into the blessedly cold and quiet air. She brought them over to his car, leaning her weight against it as she turned to him. Rowan was disappointed when she dropped his hand to cross her arms over her chest.

“What’s up?” she asked casually. 

“I have something to ask you.”

Aelin quirked a brow. “Is something wrong?”

Rowan sighed. He was going about this all wrong. “No. Nothing is wrong.”

She didn’t look convinced. “You’re acting really weird, Rowan. Did Aedion say something stupid again? Or did one of those asshole footballer players do something wrong because I swear I will knock them on their asses so hard and-”

Rowan acted without thinking. He lunged forward, cradling Aelin’s face between his palms and crashing his lips against hers. For a beat, Aelin was frozen in surprise. That short moment was the most terrifying of Rowan’s life, not knowing if he had made the right choice… but the next moment, Aelin practically melted. He heard her sigh against his lips, her hands snaking up his arms until they wrapped around the back of his neck.

Rowan tugged her closer, relishing the heat of her body against his.

For so long he had wondered what it would be like to kiss Aelin Galathynius. The reality was better than anything he could have imagined. 

He parted Aelin’s lips, kissing her deeply, hoping he could convey the months of emotions that had been building up inside him that were finally coming to the surface. 

Eventually, after what could have been seconds or hours, they slowly pulled away from one another. Rowan’s lips still tingled in the aftermath of the kiss. He opened his eyes, finding Aelin’s eyes still softly closed. She released a short breath before those stunning eyes were finally meeting his. 

“Oh,” she whispered. “Alright.”

“Aelin…” Rowan murmured. “I really like you. I have for a long time. And I’d like to take you out sometime.”

Her lips spread into a slow smile. “You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting for you to do that.”

“I shouldn't have waited so long.”

“Damn right,” Aelin grumbled, rolling onto the tips of her toes and kissing him again quickly. “I don’t know about you, but I’d like to get out of here.”

“Any ideas?”

“Well, Lysandra is staying with Aedion tonight so I have the apartment to myself,” she said, lips curling into a wicked smirk. “And there are some things I’d like to see if they’re better in real life than in my imagination.”

Gods, was Rowan lucky.

He kissed her one more time, feeling her smile against his lips. 

He never would have guessed how wonderful this moment would feel, finally admitting his feelings to her, knowing she returned them. He had been such a fool for waiting so long.

But now that Rowan had Aelin, he would do everything in his power to make her the happiest woman on this planet.

[neoyi]

I don’t think I’ll ever get to humorously commentate on KH2 piece-by-piece as I tried to do for the first two games (and god knows if I’ll wrap up Re:chain of Memories with the writing method I was doing, but I digress.) I like talking about this endearingly dumb series and replaying this game is a nice opportunity to revisit how I feel now versus how I felt back when I was a fresh-out-of-high-school Neo playing this game for the first time back in 2005.

So I’m going to surmise my current play session (this collects my thoughts up to the Hercules world) with easily containable bullet points.

*I kind of want to make a separate post about the infamous prologue and discuss how people felt Back in the Days (an understatement, let me tell ya), and ultimately what I feel it does for the game and whether I personally liked it, so I'm going to leave that in the back burner for the time.

I will say Twilight Town sounds like a nice, quiet place to live. I love the concept of a city that's always perpetually sunset. It's a beautiful place and like Traverse Town, sports an amazingly cozy soundtrack.

*I'm sure there's some bullshit reason why, but I don't get why Sora's one year absence meant some of the people he's met just....forgot him. Like why? What purpose does this serve? This especially affected Kairi, but it’s ultimately negligible because she regains her memories of him during the beginning portions of the game.

Was this Namine's doing? Was it to protect Sora from the bad guys or something? Why hasn't Riku forgotten him? Was Namine just selective on who she erased Sora's existence from? Did Kairi forget just because she’s connected to Namine? Or Sora? What purpose does this narrative serve? What was the point?

*Speaking of, I forgot, did they ever explain why Riku disguised himself as Ansem? I don’t remember if they ever explained it when I played through this game, but also I haven’t touched KHII in six thousand years, so I don’t remember a lot of the more convoluted parts of the plot.

*It is comical to see Setzer of Final Fantasy VI fame turn from a risky, gambling sky pirate who doesn’t give a rat’s ass about the empire, only cares for the freedom of the skies, and enduring survival’s guilt over a tragic loss of someone dear to him into a...

Whiffle Bat Champion.

*My sheer excitement and obsession when they first announced Vivi as one of the FF cameo was astronomical. I remember keeping a DeviantArt journal detailing any news and screencaps of the little guy pre-release. Still my favorite character from the whole franchise.

Even if he suffers the same fate as Donald and has a zipper on his mage hat for absolutely no reason other than this game existing during Nomura’s Belt-and-Zippers phase.

*Someone’s going to get sued one day because these damn kids keeps sitting atop the clock tower that has yet to be grafted with bars to prevent their inevitable deaths when one of them slips and falls.

*I swear I could play a six degrees of Kingdom Hearts with all the voice actors in this game. Or at least a "Whozit" and "Whatzit" they've done in other media (like Yuffie who is voiced by Mae "Katara" Whitman here. Pre-Avatar, even.)

Also I’m sorry, Will Friedle, you’re a fine voice actor, but you’re...Terry McGinnis. Batman told me he “totally owned all you lamers.”

*I love the Nobody enemy designs. The sheer creepiness and uncanny valley of them all lends credit to their existence as, well, non-existences. The Dusk enemy design alone is inspired with its unsettling belts wrapped around its fingers, or terrifyingly sharp teeth subtly hidden inside of its mouth. I can imagine the creature unzipping its mouth to reveal a set of flesh-eating teeth and the fear is real.

I love the way it flies and circles around its victim, almost like it’s trying to wrap itself around you, but I’m especially fond of that one attack where it essentially kicks you as while it sashays over to you upside down.

The Samurai Dusk also has my favorite reaction command. It’s just unspeakably badass.

*I never liked Squall in FF8 back then (don't know how I'd feel now if I ever replay FF8) and he was just okay in the first Kingdom Hearts, but I remember I really endeared myself to his reappearance in KHII. Squall in this game is what happens when he grew up, found good friends and family, and got some therapy for his issues. He’s stoic, but always a team player, and supportive of Sora and the people around him. KHII Squall is what FF8 Squall has the potential to be once he reaches adulthood and it’s nice to see that here.

*I really love the little changes the developers inputted for Sora, Kairi, and Riku's models to accommodate for their physical growth. Riku's is the most obvious (boy clearly ate his vegetables), but I like that you can tell Sora grew not just through story observations (Yen Sid points out how he outgrew his old garbs) but by comparing his height in relation to Goofy. Sora was shorter than him in the first game, but has since outgrown him in KH2.

Along with his better skill set during combat, this is a really nice way to visually shown how far Sora has come and how much time has passed.

This also goes in the opposite direction with Namine whom I think had to redo her mod when they remastered Chain of Memories for 3D. I notice she looks younger in that game than in KHII which would make sense at the time since it takes place a full year ago.

...Well, maybe. Can Nobodies age???

*Damn it, game, don’t give me a pouch containing 5,000 munny and treat it as an in-game key item that I can’t use even though munny is literally the currency I use to buy things.

*The retooling and emphasis on battle mechanics means the platforming element of the first really suffers and that’s a damn shame. I wasn’t particularly in love with exploring the Disney Worlds in the first KH, but I appreciate the effort put into so Sora could not easily get from Point A to Point B.

Even finding treasure chests is comical and if not for sake of posterity for anyone going for 100%, I wonder why Jiminy bothers to keep track of how many you find. There were literally like three out in plain view the minute I entered the Mulan world.

*Speaking of level designs, yeesh, the layout is not optimal for the skateboarding minigame.

*Trying to design a gummi ship in this game requires a masters degree in gummiology and metaphysical engineering, as well as the ability to tap into the 4th dimensional. The 45,000 page instructional manual they give you, the odd grid map used to piece together your ship (fair, the latter was also in the first game), and finicky button controller layout means it took me a while to fully grasp what I was suppose to do and I’m still not sure I got a full handle of it just yet.

*I don’t understand why Sora had to use a physical object as a conduit in each world to open up a metaphysical gate to the next world. He never had to use an in-between to close it. What’s the exception outside of unnecessary symbolic tie-in to the individual worlds he’s in?

*Props to the developers for recreating the ballroom. It’s actually kind of majestic to look at the beautiful ceiling and chandelier design from Sora’s perspective.

*There are a couple of random gameplay elements I forgot completely existed and seemingly there for arbitrary purposes. I just find it unusual that Mulan’s world forces you to collect literal manifestation of morale. It’s like the developers decided they wanted to reuse the Struggle minigames’ balls into a repurposed Morale Ball because well shit, someone programmed these things they’re damn well going to put it to good use.

I guess if Sora and pals don’t literally collect morale, all the soldiers will be, I don’t know, sad and die in battle or something.

*I’m aware Disney villains using the Heartless as their personal army is the norm, but it’s tonally weird when it’s Shan-Yu of all characters doing it. The infamous Charge-In-The-Snowy-Mountain scene doesn’t quite have the leg up in terms of threat when his army consist of adorable Heartless bumblebees.

*You know what pointless shit I am obsessed with? The stupid puzzle pieces scattered throughout the game. This is the first time I’m playing the Final Mix game and I’m just seething at the lack of abilities I currently do not have that prevents me from reaching certain pieces.

*Auron was instantaneously my favorite character when I first played FFX twenty years ago, and his return in KH2 sent me in fangirlish squeals. How could I not? Look at this handsome bastard. He’s calm, collected, badass with a cool sword, has rugged good looks (he doesn’t have it here, but he rocks some killer shades), and a good dad. That’s prime DILF quality right there. Of course I can’t get enough of him.

Square Enix knows we can’t get enough of him; dude be all “fuck off hades” and gives the god the middle fingers and fucks off elsewhere. Auron is King Shit.

*Oh man, do I still have my old Sora figurine? I think I got him in Katsucon way back in 2009.

*So who’s done a drinking game every time the game introduces Sora, Donald, and Goofy individually to every character they meet?

*Hey, so I noticed Square Enix is finally moving their asses and bringing the Ultimania books to the US. I doubt they’re going to bring the older KH Ultimanias overseas (my kingdom for an officially translated FFIX one), but ya know. I kinda think that yeah, I might want the KHIII Ultimania.

...Just saying.

*GET UP ON THE HYDRA’S BACK! GET UP ON THE HYDRA’S BACK! GET UP ON THE HYDRA’S BACK! GET UP ON THE HYDRA’S BACK!

GET UP ON THE HYDRA’S BACK!

[takaraphoenix]

Buffy Season 8: Review

It’s bad. It’s just... really... bad. That’s the TL;DR of this review. There was one (1) good thing about this season and that was the return of Oz. So if you’re looking for something that hypes season 8? This is not it. If you are confused, angry or salty about season 8? Hi, yes, me too.

Starting at the beginning. At first, I was really happy that they introduced more characters of color, with Renee and Satsu. And when Renee was then even “promoted” to Xander’s love interest? Nice. The two were even cute.

But no. That was all just the set-up to fridge her. Which, I am so very tired of that trope. And that is what that was. That wasn’t just a slayer dying during a fight. The entire issue of her death focused on her and Xander, building up to their relationship, setting them up for their first date, having her be prominently featured, just to then kill her off and have Xander avenge her.

What made it feel even worse - worse than just the fridging - was that they really had to fridge one of their very few women of color. And, to top it off, spend the entire issue in which she dies having her subjected to racism. Just great. Really, you managed to make an already shitty trope even worse. That’s impressive.

The racism itself too. Dracula. They just decided to make Dracula totally racist now, huh? and it doesn’t get a pass just because Xander points out in the comic that he doesn’t remember Dracula being this racist. Because he wasn’t. This Dracula just throws around slurs left and right in a way that feels more like the writers just really wanted to use slurs. Because the character? He was suave, charming, heck he charmed the straight men and the lesbians too when he was on the show. He was a smooth talker. This Dracula? He just... He was just racist and rude in general. Why.

Moving on from the racism to the next failure in rep. The gays. At this point in time I am simply convinced that Joss Whedon is entirely unfamiliar with the concept of bisexuality.

I know I’ve already made a separate post complaining about this, but it needs mentioning in the review of the season too. Having Buffy hook up with a lesbian twice, but #NoHomo, just a straight girl in her “experimental phase”. That’s just cringey and also offensive. Just... make her... come out as a bisexual? It’s not like the writing in the show hadn’t already set her up with quite the bi vibes.

Instead, the narrative made it sound like the only options would be to be straight or to now suddenly turn “into” a lesbian. Which is also offensive on itself, because - as this very show had proven on screen - lesbians can come out later in life and genuinely, I adore Willow’s arc. For her narrative, it fit to have her come out as a lesbian, the circumstances and her life fit for that. I absolutely agree that it would have been weird for Buffy to have a sudden coming out as a lesbian at that point in her life and after everything, but referring to it as turning into a dyke was just not great.

And lesbian wasn’t the only option. Though, I’m unsure Whedon knows that, considering that 6/6 canon queer characters are homosexual and 4/4 wlw are lesbians. They just keep introducing more lesbians - which, as a lesbian I am always in favor of more lesbians. However, when you have a very small number (2) of queer characters, it figures you can not cover all the sexualities and it’s even fair that even with two, you still choose to have them both be the same sexuality. But... the more you add? The more questionable it becomes that you limit it to one sexuality only.

This arc would have so beautifully set up for Buffy to come out as bi. But no.

And while we’re on the wlw; one of the things I always loved about Buffy was that the lesbians weren’t just there for the male gaze, they weren’t oversexualized. They desired each other, they even had sex. But... in a normal frame work, to a normal amount, meaning equal to how the straights were handled. I always liked that, because especially in early days, lesbians were usually just there to look really hot and have hot sex that straight men could get off to. Well, consider me very unimpressed with the comics, because... man are lesbians sexualized now. Willow gets a hot constantly naked snake goddess girlfriend whom she can only contact by - and I am not making this up - having an orgasm. So we prelude the trip by her having sex with Kennedy, before waking up all nude in snake goddess’ realm and usually having am makeout session or sex with her too while doing whatever business she has with her. So much nakedness, so much oversexualization. Really... disappointing.

Staying on the romance but turning to the other Summers sister, I truly can’t believe they made Xander/Dawn canon. Like, I can not comprehend they decided to make that a canon ship.

Sure, Dawnie’s had a crush on Xander since the literal beginning of Dawn. And that was... cute, honestly. Fifteen year old girls have crushes on cute older guys who are nice to them. Figures. Adorable. But she kind of... grew out of that over the course of the show? Or so it seemed...

And Xander. One of the things I loved about Xander was that Dawn was always a total no go. She was Buffy’s sister, heck, she was kind of every Scoobie’s little sister. He had always had brotherly advise for her. Heck, in this comic he points out that it’s weird since he’s known her since she was little - and yeah it is. It’s not weird when two people were both little together, but when one was sixteen when the other was eleven and one has babysat the other? That’s weird.

Getting infinitely more disturbing by the fact that she... literally... just turned eighteen. If they had put this into a rather later season, or a bigger time skip, had Dawn been A WomanTM for a few years now and Xander had gotten around to separating the idea of kiddo!Dawnie from the woman she has become, but Dawn is only eighteen, she hasn’t become a woman yet. She just turned legal to bang and thus, a switch was flipped in Xander’s mind, putting her on his radar. And just... no. Why.

And even beyond this decision; Dawn spends the first third of this season being slut-shamed in ridiculous ways. Which is also tiresome. I am the last person to defend cheaters, but there’s a difference between “You cheated and are being held accountable for it” and “You cheated so now you are cursed to be a giant, a centaur and then a porcellain doll for weeks at a time, being publicly humiliated and having control over your body taken away from you”. That was... sure a choice.

Moving on to the actual main problem of this season. The plot.

Starting with the incomprehensibly dumb idea of “hey let’s retreat to Tibet, put a huge target on Oz’s new home and get rid of all of our magic. surely that will not come to bite us in the arse when the bad guys find us”. Naturally, it came back to bite them in their collective asses. This was just... No one objected or pointed out how dumb that plan was? Really? No one? Really?

Anyway, let’s talk villains. And work our way up there. The return of Amy and Warren. Once again, I ask why. I’m still salty about the 180° Amy did from sweet Wiccan to wicked bitch after her stint as a rat, but having her now... hook up with Warren, the second biggest misogynist on this show, who is also skinless. She used a spell to keep him alive but she couldn’t... give the spell a color? Anything? Anything to not make him look flayed? Because this was just unnecessarily gross body-horror.

Not to mention the... lack of reaction? Sure, some spoke grumpily against working with Warren. But... this is Warren. The guy who killed Tara when he was trying to kill Buffy. There really should have been more breather-scenes of the Scoobies talking about this, digesting the fact that the guy was still alive and more so when they worked with him.

But nevermind them, because they’re working for Angel. Because Angel’s the villain behind this season. I mean, he was manipulated into that by Twilight, but manipulated means he still chose to do it.

Now let me preface that I might not ship Angel/Buffy, but that really only factors marginally in here, because this plot would be bullshit even if it were my OTP.

We now retcon the creation of the Slayers as not just being something dirty old men did in a cave, it was now all the greater plan of the universe. Which. Might have worked had Slayers been... naturally occuring. And not created by men, forcing this upon a young woman. Sure, what people do can be seen as the greater plan of the universe too if you will, but that seems like a cop-out that absolves bad people of their bad choices and deeds.

Anyway. The universe created Slayers and vampires and the ““balance”“ between them (which is bullshit anyway because 1 Slayer vs thousands of vampires... not balanced at all), including the now supposedly destined romance between Angel and Buffy.

Both get rewarded with super-powers now so they can super-fuck and thus give birth to a new universe. That universe is called Twilight and manifests as a burning, winged, green lion who can talk (because that sure is how I always headcanoned Angel/Buffy’s children to look like /s) and who, through time-travel shenannigans, has been manipulating Angel into his own creation.

The magic pull between them is so strong that it overrides the “Angel just caused the death of over two-hundred Slayers” so Buffy fucks him.

At which point I just... this season was flat-out character assassination of Angel? He was manipulated by the bad guy. Not controlled, manipulated. He caused the death of hundreds. He threw everything he stood for and believed in out the window for the promise of a paradise where he could be with Buffy, when the real Angel has chosen other things, higher goals, over being with Buffy over and over again, because that’s what they do. That is their whole thing, they choose the good of the world over being together. They have always been a “will they/won’t they?” where the answer is they won’t, because they know they are needed elsewhere, by others. But now Angel just... doesn’t care about all that anymore, or heck about his own son and his friends, ready to abandon everything for this.

And then when Twilight is born and consequently abandoned by Buffy, who still prioritizes her friends, family and the world over being with Angel, Angel actually... needs convincing in the abandoning? Because, again, character assassination. Ultimately, Angel gets controlled by Twilight and used to kill Giles and try to kill Buffy.

But thanks to the Deus Ex Machina of Spike dropping in in the final arc, they know how to stop this. He hasn’t been in this season so far, because - truly in line with this season - he was off being the king of a race of alien bugs, traveling in their space-ship.

To stop this all, they go back to Sunnydale, where of course the “heart of the Earth” is located, the seed that contains all magic, and destroy it, and with it all magic. Also, the Master was apparently always just there to guard that seed. He is now back from the dead!

Let me summarize that once more, just for emphasis: The universe wanted Buffy and Angel to fuck so they can give birth to a new universe that personifies as a green, winged, burning lion but before it can destroy our universe, Spike, now king of an alien bug race, delivers the solution to go back to Sunnydale and destroy the seed of all magic that is being guarded by a resurrected Master.

How do you read that with a straight face? How do you pitch that? This is just so incomprehensibly stupid.

We end the comic with Buffy as a waitress, hated by many, Xander and Dawn now have an apartment and are playing house, Willow broke up with Kennedy because she realized she is in love with the snake goddess she will now never get to see again, Giles is dead, Faith somehow inherited everything from Giles and she is also the designated Angel-sitter now.

[nice-kill-tanaka]

Hi! I read all your x readers and love them! I especially loved the Bakugou x Rough and Tough Crush, I was wondering if you do a part 2 of that one? Where the squad are trying to get the two together.

Of course Nony! Glad you liked my self indulgent work 🥰

—————

🌄Bakugo + Rough And Tough Crush: Part 2🌌

Looking for the whole set? Take Part 1 right here!

Summary: The Bakusquad gets a little sick of watching you and Bakugo pine after each other in your own...special ways. So, it was decided to devise a plan to get you two crazy kids together!!

A/N: Me, internally: First request, don’t mess it up, first request, don’t mess it up, first request, don’t mess it up, first request, don’t mess it up-

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

💥Katsuki Bakugo💥

Let’s start by looking at your end of the pining stick

When Bakugo started treating you differently (like an equal/rival rather than a hurdle to trample on) your own perspective started to shift

You now knew what it was like to be on Boom Boom Boy’s good side. And if you were being honest? It was fun as hell 🔥🔥

Nothing got under your skin very easily, so you took Bakugo’s aggressive taunts and jeers as petty opportunities to take him up on his challenges

What’s better than a free chance to get stronger??? (Mentally, emotionally, and physically)

It wasn’t very long before you began to find Bakugo’s unwavering passion and drive attractive rather than amusing. You wanted to see more of it, to draw it out, to match it

That wild and determined smirk he used past bared teeth when you bested him would really make you feel some type of way 😳

But Y/N is currently a single-brain-celled bastard in this household

My dude, you don’t even misinterpret your feelings. You're just incapable of giving them a label 😭

You just know that you have warm and fuzzy sensations in your stomach whenever Bakugo is being uniquely himself, which you mistook for indigestion on multiple occasions

Y’all are so freaking dumb it actually hurts 😭😭😭

((^^The Bakusquad’s general consensus on you and Bakugo’s mutual pining))

Which brings us to how the Bakusquad decided to go about bringing you hotheaded lovers together

Kirishima casually suggested that they let you two get together on your own, but was out-voted in favor of putting an end to the infinite frustration that came with watching two people crushing on each other and not doing anything about it

Mina and Jiro thought of the first plan:

They’d have a movie night for everyone in the friend group and Mina would conveniently choose a ✨romance✨ movie. The rest on the squad would think of lame excuses to leave in the middle of the film, leaving only you and Bakugo alone (hopefully on the same couch). If things went well, you two would be together by the end of the movie

Their reasoning was that if the concept of romance was introduced at the right time, you’d both feel more inclined to confess your own feelings 

It seemed feasible enough, so the plan was set into motion

As expected, the moment Mina pulled out the Blue-Ray box, Bakugo started to grumble about how corny the film was gonna be

But, Jiro caught a glimpse of you leaning over and muttering something to Bakugo, out of earshot of everyone else

Immediately, Bakugo began to loosen his shoulders, still not happy about the genre, but more complacent. He slouched into the couch and endured it like an adult

During the movie, especially the more romantic moments, the squad constantly stole glances towards you and Bakugo. Unfortunately, there wasn’t much to look at

Bakugo, in the same position as the beginning, didn’t seem bored, but like he’d rather be doing anything else at the moment. His eyes were glued to the screen in a judgmental stare, but that he dared not say anything to ruin a certain person’s experience

You, however, looked like you were enjoying the movie! However muted your position might have looked. Though you weren’t enjoying it cause it was good. Oh no, you looked like you wanted to ✨a s c e n d✨ into orbit with laughter every ten seconds

For the sake of letting the rest of the Bakusquad enjoy the romance aspect, you limited your actions to biting your fist whenever something hopelessly cringy happened

Any longer than the halfway point, and you would’ve broken down in a fit of hysterical laughter, roasts, and jeers at the screen

Soon enough, the rest of the group made their excuses to leave the room momentarily, disappointed with their results

But, when they came back, something beautiful had occurred 

“Why the hell is she running back to the apartment?? HE CHEATED ON YOU?? KILL ‘IM??”

“SKSKSKS- Okay, but wtf is her FACE?! Is that supposed to be distress?? Freakin’ ahegao faceass.”

Bakugo was deadpan roasting the movie with an amused smirk. While you were coming after it with the gusto of Monoma coming after 1-A, snorting with every comment Bakugo made

Neither of you had even noticed everyone else come into the room

(Apparently, you had told Bakugo earlier that you two can shit on the movie all you wanted once you were alone)

Alright...not exactly the plan. But, possibly a step in the right direction

Sero and Kaminari thought of the next “plan”

I only put quotations, because it’s hardly thought out enough to call it one

It was literally just locking you and Bakugo in a closet 🤡🤡

Don’t worry Sero and Kaminari, I’ll play Taps at your funerals 🎺🎺🎺

You and Bakugo didn’t even have a genuine conversation in the closet...You were too busy yelling various profanities at your friends

“Dude, it’s really FUCKING HOT in here. Let us out while I’m still feeling nice!!”

“I’ll murder you bastards when we get out of here!!! You better start running now.”

Btw, you both ended up making it out of there on your own

You managed to deck the doorknob hard enough to break it off, giving Bakugo enough leeway to blow the door off its hinges

Bakugo took care of Kaminari, while you caught and hogtied Sero with his own tape 

You gave each other congratulatory fist bumps afterwards 😚

Despite the rest of the Bakusquad miserably failing in their schemes, their setups did help develop you and Bakugo’s relationship. Just not as fast as they hoped

You had become a pair that could laugh and fight together. Being each other’s advocate became a source of pride for you both

You were all set to become a romantic couple 

But, what actually brings you together??

Well, it went something like this:

I’m not too sure of the exact details, but I know that you and Bakugo were having an extra intense training session

Things were starting to get a bit sloppy, as your bodies were getting tired, but your morale was just as strong as ever

It could’ve just been a freak accident, or something neither of you saw coming

But, the point is: Either of you could’ve gotten really hurt, had you not been the tough cookies you are

In your perspective, you were oblivious to the danger that you had been in. And if you did know, you didn’t particularly care. You only saw that the person you cared about most in U.A. could’ve gotten hurt

The idea of that happening, and it being your fault (or, not being able to do anything about it) really rubbed you the wrong way. You were mostly angry at yourself

But, you took it out on Bakugo

Because you were the first aggressor, Bakugo responded with what he knew best: Aggression

Yes, he was absolutely mad at himself for putting you in danger. But, what made the feeling worse, was that you refused to acknowledge that you could’ve been injured as well

Your blatant lack of self-preservation pissed him off. Why couldn’t you care about yourself the way he cared about you?!

On the outside looking in, the fighting was far too intense for any peer of yours to try and break it up

Yelling, cursing, but neither of you put your hands on each other (Like you usually did when you play fought)

Strangely enough, I think that’s how you could tell the situation was serious

Finally, your emotions had reached their climax. All caution had gone to the wind at that point

You weren’t even thinking when you yelled the next thing in Bakugo’s face

“DO YOU THINK I’D FUCKING YELL AT YOU IF YOU DIDN’T MEAN THE GODDAMN WORLD TO ME?!”

“WELL FUCK YOU IF YOU THINK THAT YOU’RE ANY LESS IMPORTANT TO ME THAN I AM TO YOU.”

At that moment, you both turned away to storm off before abruptly stopping in your tracks

“What?!” You said in unison, registering what you both had heard and said

You sighed, frustrated at your own stupidity, unclenching your fists and begrudgingly explaining your true feelings to the seething object of your affections

As you spoke, you were realizing just how whipped you were for Bakugo. And how you didn’t know it until you were given the opportunity to blurt it out with pure emotion

Your words weren’t very poetic (You actually sounded very constipated), but what you said was what you felt in its rawest form

Bakugo could hardly think of what to do next. His crush was reciprocated and they confessed first??? Wtf???

His silence made you uncomfortable, and you didn’t feel like blowing up again. You huffed, shoved your hands in your pockets, and turned to stalk away, unsure of what to do next

Before you could completely turn on your heel though, you felt yourself being roughly shoved against a nearby wall

You weren’t even given time to react, because as soon as your back made contact with the wall, a warm, caramel-scented sensation met your lips

The kiss you had just registered didn’t even last two seconds, but the lingering feeling stuck with you as your brain effectively shorted out

“Yo, wh-what was that??”

Bakugo was impossibly red, one hand still on your shoulder, keeping you in place. Even though he refused to make eye contact with you, it was clear that what he had just done was completely intentional

He scoffed, voice barely above a grumble, “Damn dumbass...you didn’t even give me a chance to respond...”

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

[🌌 There you go bud! That’s one set of headcanons for the road. Hopefully it lasts for a while, but if it doesn’t, feel free to come back! I’d be thrilled to see you again.🌄] —Reagan

[themori-grimoire]

Witchcraft 101: Scrying

WHAT IS SCRYING?

I know it looks like a typo and what’s really happening, is that we’ve actually been crying as a community, but alas no; “scrying” is a legitimate and archaic form of divination.

Let’s check out the definition of it via Google:

scrying

Foretell the future using a crystal ball or other reflective object or surface. “A mirror used for scrying”.

Okay, so Google did pretty well this time and have hit the nail smack on the head with this definition.

Scrying is the act of gazing at a reflective surface and using any symbols that may appear as a way of garnering advice, or foretelling the outcome of certain forthcoming situations, circumstances, and choices.

TYPES OF SCRYING

The Crystal Ball

This is the one you’ll see all the fortune tellers with a multitude of rings and long nails use in the movies. It’s the method with the most flair and dramatic air about it, and is used a lot in the media by characters who are tied to mysticism.

In reality, gazing into a clouded glass or crystal (like Obsidian) ball to obtain information about forthcoming events, or unknown aspects of the present has been done for thousands of years (probably).

Mirror Scrying

Mirrors are the most practical form of scrying, particularly in the modern age when lots of us carry compacts or small mirrors in our bags or pockets on a daily basis.

Mirror scrying is usually done on a mirror that has a black backing to it as that makes for a better reflective surface and thus, a better experience when looking for symbols and signs within the mirror. You should keep your query in mind as you stare and see what is revealed to you.

You can buy ready-made scrying mirrors, but it’s also incredibly easy to make your own [click [X] or [X] or [X] for more info on that!].

Fire Scrying

Fire scrying is exactly what it says on the tin - staring into a flame to see what symbols and visions may present themselves to you.

When you scry with fire, you should take note of the movement of the flames and keep an eye out for repeated shapes and patterns, because whilst some people may see clear images, others may see shapes, or flashes or shadows.

Water Scrying

Much like fire scrying, this is what it says it is: using water to scry.

Some people use large bodies of water like lakes and oceans and incorporate the moon into their practise of this method, whilst some people prefer to use a small bowl of water and just employ the sitting-and-staring thing. Sometimes, people will use bowls that are made of crystal, or bowls that have a gloss on them to heighten the reflectivity. Some people will allow themselves to go into a trance-like state before scrying this way.

HOW TO SCRY:

Okay, so naturally the first step you’re going to want to take is deciding on which medium you’re going to use to scry! You don’t have to pick one now and stick with it forever - nothing stops you from experimenting with each method if that’s what you want to do.

Let’s go through it in steps.

Step 1: Find somewhere quiet, where you are unlikely to be disturbed.

If you want to, and if you think that it will help you, set up your surroundings so that you can fall into a relaxed and almost trance like state. For some, this may mean dimming the lights and putting on some sobering music. For others, it may be throwing open the curtains, letting the sunlight in and listening to birdsong - each to their own.

If you are familiar with meditating and meditation, think of it as a process just like that; you’ll want to reach a point of calmness before you scry. It’ll make the process a lot easier on you, as a skittish or burdened mind is a mind lacking clarity.

Stage 2: Why are you scrying? What is your intent?

You’ll have seen intent mentioned in a lot of spiritual/witchcraft posts because it’s a core concept in our work. It plays into scrying as well, because if you have a set reason for doing this, you’re more likely to find the answers you seek.

You know how we say that when you’re crafting a sigil you should write out a sentence that clearly states the intent behind the sigil? Well, doing something like that here might be a good idea, if only to make this whole thing easier on you. Think of it this way: it’s easier to accomplish something if you know what the fuck you’re trying to do, right?

Stage 3: Stare.

Now it’s time to stare. Yes, you heard me right. Sit back (or lean forward if you need to - it was just a figure of speech) and gaze into your chosen medium.

You should be aware, that it is likely you will fall deeper into a trance-like state when you do this and you may end up spending more time scrying than you had intended to. That particular situation has happened to most of us - you start scrying whilst the sun is out and finish in the middle of the night.

After some time, images may begin to show themselves. You may see shapes, shadows; silhouettes. You may see vivid flashes or blurry vague images; some people report seeing things in an almost dream-like manner; hazy and vague, and ambiguous.

In some cases people have reported that whilst they scry, dates, times and locations come to mind that are relevant to the query they have bore in mind during their divination session.

Remember to try and not force yourself to see things if they are not there. Let it happen organically. If you’re in a relaxed and trance-like state, you won’t be able to force yourself to see things in the water, mirror, water or flame.

Once you’ve finished scrying, if you have the energy left to do so, you may want to write down how everything went! Write the medium you used, what you saw, what you were asking about/wanting insight into, and what the symbols may mean.

This will help you interpret and clarify things, and it will also be a useful tool in learning and growing within this form of divination.

EXTRA TIPS:

At first you may be afraid of seeing things, or afraid of what you may see.

That’s okay. It’s normal to be apprehensive when you’re looking for insight into the unknown. If you want to know something, I still sometimes get a little nervous when I’m doing any kind of divination because when you’re asking for answers or guidance on something that’s not entirely clear, you can never be sure that you’re going to like the answers you get.

One way to combat this, is to prepare yourself before you dive in. Take some time to reflect on why you’re doing what you’re doing. Doing this may settle your nerves because you’re not going in blind.

Other ways include:

Grounding: grounding is the act of centering yourself by feeling connected to the physical world in some form or another. By recognising this, you are less likely to feel drained and may in fact feel like your might in steeled somewhat (that’s what it does for me! If I take time to feel my surroundings and recognise that I am tied to the solidity of this world, I feel stronger and more resilient.)

*Links: Grounding Visualisations ✧ Grounding/Meditation Chant ✧ Grounding ✧ Grounding Techniques

Remind yourself that when you see images or symbols, this is a good thing and you’re not going mad.

I know that may sound silly, but for first time scry-ers actually seeing something is scary because often a small part of you thinks this is hokum and you won’t actually see anything tangible.

It may help if you sit down, take a few deep breaths and say to yourself over and over as a sort of affirmation, something along the lines of: “I will images, shapes, visions of what I need to see in the flame/water/fire/mirror/crystal, and I will not be afraid.”

If you need to, prepare a sigil or incantation, or some small form of magick to make yourself feel more comfortable.

There’s no shame in needing or wanting to do so. I have used a sigil before divination before to calm my nerves. It’s a valid thing to do and want to do.

If you like my content and would like to help me keep providing free stuff for my gorgeous Ghoul Gang, you can tip your witch here: Paypal.

[animebw]

Binge-Watching: Problem Children are Coming From Another World, Aren’t They? Episodes 4-10

Let’s just get this shit over with, shall we?

Race to the End

The tricky thing about critical analysis is that objectivity, while a nice concept that’s good to strive for, is all but impossible to achieve. Even if you could tangibly break down works of art by specific rubrics of quality, there is no telling how you will experience them at the specific moment you do. Maybe you’ve watched too many rom-coms in a row so even the very good ones start to feel stale. Maybe you’re just in a bad mood and that influences your opinion on the book you’re reading. Maybe you’re down and need a happy movie for a pick-me-up, or maybe happy movies would just make you miserable at that point. And you can’t always tell what, if anything, is influencing your experience with a piece of media, whether internal or external factors. In a way, getting to a place where I can give a show my full attention and focus is the hardest part of this blog; if I’m not in the right headspace to watch a whole bunch of episodes at once and think critically about them, I can’t fully trust my opinion on them. Sometimes I don’t even know if I’m in the right mood and plow ahead regardless for whatever reason. It’s all part and parcel of being someone who analyzes media as a hobby.

I bring all this up to say that I’m not entirely sure if my opinion on Problem Children has shifted thanks to the circumstances surrounding me watching the rest of it in comparison to the first few episodes, or if it really did just drive itself off a cliff. But holy shit, coming back to this show after that promising first session, it just became insufferable. Every single compliment I gave it, every positive trait I noted, all are completely stripped away and smashed by a wrecking ball of bottom-feeding garbage. And this wasn’t a gradual thing either; from pretty much the second I started episode 4, the show lost me and never got me back. It’s like it suddenly turned into the worst possible version of itself with no advance warning, and every negative preconception I had going in was proven right all at once. What the fuck happened? Was that first arc just a happy accident? Was it always bad and I just didn’t realize? Am I just missing something because I’m exhausted and ready to take a break? I don’t know, and honestly, I don’t care. All I know if that I fucking hated Problem Children all of a sudden, and I slugged the whole rotten glass down in one gulp just to get it over with. I’m not wasting any more mental energy on this show than I absolutely have to. So let’s cut the preamble and just get into tearing this train wreck apart.

Broken Foundations

So, remember in my last post when I praised this show for its weirdly creative worldbuilding? How it was taking all these different ideas from parallel universes and game-based societies and throwing them together to make something that mostly held together? Well, whatever sense this setting once made, it decided to abandon it entirely as it went on. The more we learn about this world, the more bizarre, nonsensical, and pointless it feels. How, exactly, do these game-based systems work? Who runs them? Who holds ultimate power? How do all these powers interact? What does this society’s make-up actually look like? How do the Gifts work? Do you win them from games? If so, why are the kids’ overpowered superpowers turned into Gifts right from the get-go? Who enforces the rules that make sure games are played fairly? What’s the point of having a world as big as the surface of the sun if you can just teleport around it like nothing? And how do these parallel worlds even work anyway? They’re clearly not temporally lined up, as Asuka seems to be from a Japan immediately post-WW2. But what about You’s world? And Izayoi’s? How do all their worlds justify them having these superpowers?

Keep in mind, because we know for a fact none of their universes are our own- our universe doesn’t have superpowers, after all- we have no idea how our world fits into this weird cosmology. And I guess we don’t need to know that, but with no baseline to judge these parallel worlds against, we have almost no context into who the kids are beyond their basic motivations. In which case, what was the point of the parallel worlds gimmick at all? Why not just have them manifest their powers once they arrive in Little Garden and junk the confusing pseudoscience? And why is there suddenly a prophecy? Who writes prophecies here? Why is it important that this one specific demon wrote the prophecy? How does he fit in with the greater power structure? This show throws so much shit it you and then doesn’t explain how it fits together. By the end, we’ve somehow got faeries from a parallel world who are actually the spirits of kids killed in a Grimm’s Fairy Tale and also have an unexplained giant red mech fighting against an embodiment of the Black Death who’s been granted divine power and also granted divine power to her allies, and you’re literally not given an explanation for any of it. The show just tells you “this is what they are,” neglects to give you any context for it, and moves along its merry way.

Fractured Fairy Tales

And what’s even worse than this unending barrage of unexplained shit is how the show just keeps piling on more and more 90-degree swerves out of nowhere and then acting like you should totally understand what’s going on. Like, here’s a question: where the absolute fuck did the whole Pied Piper of Hamelin theme come from? There’s never any indication that we’re dealing with fractured fairy tales, there’s never been any evidence that those are a thing in this world, but all of a sudden Izayoi just figures out that the bad guys are somehow embodiments of that classic dark fable. Except also not really, because they’re just fakes pretending to be the real thing? Except one of them really is? Except then the real story is the kids went away on their own to start a community and also build a giant mech suit I guess? Like, what is the fucking context for any of this? Is this a world where stories come to life? Are they from a parallel world where the Pied Piper actually happened? What, exactly, is their connection to the story? We’re never told. And we’re never told how Izayoi figures this shit out either! He just up and says out of nowhere, “Oh yeah, it’s totally this thing we’ve never mentioned before.” And then he proceeds to do that exact same shit at least three more times! How does he fucking know this one girl is the Black Death? How does he know that  ”the method by which they were murdered itself turned into a spirit,” whatever that means? How is he able to figure out who literally everyone is with no context, no clues, and no indication that he was even supposed to be looking for these things?

Like, I’m trying to figure this shit out, but the show tells you nothing! You are never told what any of this means or how it works! You’re never told how any of it fits together! It’s just a bunch of random shit thrown in a blender and slopped onto a plate! It even falls apart with the characters and their interactions! Why does Black Rabbit freak out at the beginning of episode 6 like she and the problem children are supposed to have this building animosity and she’s getting sick of their antics when they’re pretty much been completely on the same page from the word Go? Why do she and Izayoi just fucking destroy a populated city in the middle of a petty grudge match? Why is Izayoi suddenly so much mroe powerful than everyone else? And what the hell was up with Asuka’s motivations? She says she doesn’t want to use her power to control others, but also it’s bad that her powers aren’t working like she wants, but also she wants a gift that controls other gifts, but also the wants to be free of control, all within the space of the same thirty goddamn seconds. WHO THE FUCK EVEN ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO BE, WOMAN?! I just- I- I’m seriously trying here, guys, but this is how staggeringly incomprehensible this show’s writing has become. There is nothing here that makes sense! Nothing that’s given proper context! Nothing that’s written with any consistency or coherency! Nothing!

Fuck You, Fuck You, Fuck You

Actually, that’s a lie. There is one thing this show keeps consistent. Unfortunately, that one thing happens to be the worst kind of puerile, pandering fanservice out there. Fuck my life, why did I even give this show the benefit of the doubt last time? It’s all here, folks. Pervert main characters who assault and humiliate the designated walking body pillow for laughs. A camera that leers at every opportunity. Making sexual harassment out like fun jokes between friends. Evil rapey villains who perv on the girls and the camera indulges their rapey fantasies. Characters who join the party out of nowhere just to run around in loli maid costumes. Gropey bath scenes. Tasteless boob jokes. Taking every opportunity to leer at the female characters against their will for the audience to jack off to them. Because that’s what audiences want! Who cares about good writing and likable characters or even just some fucking consistency! All that matters is shoving as many tits in your face as we can get away with and telling you it’s totes okay to leer at girls against their will because it’s all in good fun! This is what makes good anime! This is what the People want! More! MORE! MORE UNTIL YOU ALL CHOKE ON IT!

Or better yet, stop giving this garbage your money and let it wither and die in silence.

Odds and Ends

-Man, this guy doesn’t let anyone eavesdrop on him, does he?

-Okay, that was dumb. Why didn’t she just run out of the way?

-Um... why does the constellation mean the demon lord’s on their side? Huh?

-”You know, I can hear you.” pfft

-Did... did we just fucking skip an episode? What’s with this in media res?

-Man, they just decided to make Asuka entirely useless, huh?

Alright, that’s done. We’re done. Let’s just finish this show off with a series reflection and go into hibernation for the winter, shall we?

[mbti-notes]

Would you mind explaining why you see Rey as ESFJ and Kylo Ren as INTP from the new Star Wars? I've always seen Rey as a stereotypical ISFP action hero (quick to adapt to new situations, hands on, a fierce sense of 'moral right' borne of self), and I'm undecided on Kylo, but thought he exhibited FP tendencies -- a struggle between self-identity and rationality, that indicates a F/T imbalance.

[con’t: In reading Leonore Thomson’s book on personalities, the Fi-dom section brought Kylo to mind – unless prone to developing Se/Ne, the IFP fiercely guards their sense of ‘identity’ / self against outside influences and becomes rigid. Isn’t that what he’s doing, in differentiating himself from his parents and refusing to see reality any other way than what he has decided it is, based on his feelings / experiences?]

Judging by the debates I saw online, there doesn’t seem to be any general consensus on either character, which is interesting. It’s a trilogy and the character development beats are scattered and difficult to piece together. And there were several blanks that I had to fill with my own speculation. I didn’t really enjoy the process of typing these characters, but I did it because I kept on receiving requests week after week ever since the first movie came out. I found the character development arcs shallow and poorly paced, and the resolutions were too pat to be very interesting. I reviewed the Kylo and Rey scenes several times, with different personality types in focus each time, in order to ensure that the function pieces fit together to my satisfaction.

      ***** Major spoilers ahead! ******

Kylo

Although I think there are weak points in her book, I don’t take issue with Thomson’s description of Fi doms. I mainly disagree with the motive that you ascribe to Kylo. I don’t think he’s being protective of his identity, I don’t think he cares about identity, in the way that Fi doms do. I will concede that he gives the impression of being a rebellious teenager in defying his parents/mentor/birthright, but defiance alone does not make him Fi dom. Pretty much everyone (even some animal species) goes through a stupid teenage phase of rebellion at some point in their life, and some people never properly get past it. To me, he looks like a stuck-in-adolescence INTP: entirely too full of himself and blind to everything else.

One little point made it difficult for me to settle on a type. Leia was absolutely convinced that Kylo was “manipulated” by Snoke/Palpatine to join the dark side, but there was little indication from Kylo, Luke, and Han that this was actually the case. Should we trust Leia, since the movie portrayed her as being much more powerful than meets the eye, or should we trust Kylo’s subjective experience of himself as being fully and completely the master of his own fate? I go for the latter. If anyone’s going to be prone to blind belief, it’s a mom who doesn’t want to admit that she’s lost her son to her enemies. And I see no compelling evidence that he is a person who’s easily manipulated, emotionally or otherwise, which is a big strike against F. If you see such evidence, please present it.

The most revealing aspect of Kylo’s development was found in the conflicting and exaggerated accounts about what happened with Luke that led to the destruction of the Jedi academy. If you grow up being fed a constant diet of legends about galactic warfare from the Alliance, you’re naturally going to think of the Jedi as the good guys and the Empire as the bad guys (as we, the audience, are supposed to). However, if you’re Ben Solo, you don’t experience the Jedi as good guys, at all. He was “abandoned” by parents who were too busy/neglectful/high-minded to properly care for him and he was “abandoned” by a supposedly saintly mentor/uncle who wanted to kill him (even if the urge was fleeting). Additionally, Jedi training is essentially martial arts training in that you’re not supposed to use it violently unless you absolutely have to, which leaves the Jedi looking like total wusses much of the time, politically, always leading from behind and allowing evil to get a foothold over and over again.

Therefore, my theory is that Kylo turned, completely willingly, because he saw nothing but pathetic posturing and hypocrisy around him. It was an extremely deep cynicism (the belief that “good”, “love”, “happiness”, or anything that makes humans noble, don’t really exist) that allowed him to fully embrace his own darkness to very powerful effect - no manipulation necessary. This wouldn’t work with Fi-Te but fits with Ti-Fe. I postulate that his conception of morality was extremely reductive and childish. Essentially, “good guys should be totally free of bad”, so any whiff of anyone feeling conflicted or making dumb choices and they no longer get the privilege of being labeled as a “good” person. Accordingly, any hint of conflict in himself cements the fact that he is bad, irredeemably bad, because he’s full of conflict. 

But I argue that the reason he’s full of conflict is not because he’s bad or a Feeler, it’s because the way he was being taught was not well-suited to his personality at all, in fact, it was quite damaging to him, which pushed him into skepticism and alienation. Here’s the blank I’m filling in: Luke is Fi dom. Fi and Ti do not communicate easily. Being forced or shamed into being good with no proper reasoning process by Fs tends to really aggravate inferior Fe grip problems in young Ti doms (it’s a common relationship dynamic). Fi doms construct beliefs from their feelings and it’s easy for them to expect that everyone should feel-believe the same. How is a person supposed to react when you keep telling them to Fi everything but they simply can’t or have no idea what the fuck you’re talking about? External manipulation or not, I speculate that Kylo was already in a deep state of doubt about whether he was in the right place. Luke’s intense fear and disgust in that fateful moment only confirmed Kylo’s suspicions that he didn’t belong there, and that Luke was no “good” guy. 

Seeing oneself as irredeemably bad is a big blow to the ego, so one must engage in self-defense. The fact that turning dark allowed him to realize the full potential of his force capabilities, to him, meant that the Jedi were completely wrong in their conception of what is “good”. Therefore, he doesn’t consider himself to be bad per se, rather, he believes that he has discovered the truth about what it means to be great - being great via T is better than being good via F. He was trying to discover his true self through dominant Ti, perfectly normal part of development, but he chose the wrong path, because it was a reactionary decision that was merely rebelling against all the people who were trying to force him into being F. This poor choice meant that he had to keep trying to sever his connection to everything good in himself = disowning F. In his mind, the Jedi were stupid, weak, and deluding themselves all along, but he knows what’s up, and that granted him a high degree of confidence in his decisions. He saw himself as the real deal because he was smart enough and strong enough to be brutally honest about what he is. In essence, he’s no faker, and that makes him superior. These mental gymnastics happen with Ti, not Fi. 

When Fi doms (even just start to) see themselves as bad, it ruins them and renders them impotent and dysfunctional (see previous post about Zuko from Avatar: The Last Airbender as a great example). Yet I see no compelling evidence that Kylo’s identity, feelings, or conflicts held him back, rather, they only served to fuel his rise. Despite appearances, he didn’t lust for power and validation like Te loop/grip, rather, he was only interested in self-mastery, and was willing to do whatever it took to achieve it, because he had no other ideal outside of himself to believe in. Nothing could really stop him unless he decided to stop. When he was frustrated, he would let it out in a quick burst, and then continued on as though it never happened (Fe). He was actually very disciplined in growing his abilities by setting consistent and logical challenges for himself to overcome (Ti), and he always succeeded in achieving his goals and reaching whatever potential he had envisioned for himself (Ne). Furthermore, someone who is very “defensive of their identity” wouldn’t be able to change themselves on a dime, as he did at the end. When faced with the right counter-evidence, he did a whiplash 180 without hemming or hawing or performative self-flagellation or whining about “losing myself”, etc. Would that be possible for Fi-Te?

Rey

Is she introverted? She is unapologetically assertive, she gets involved even when it doesn’t/shouldn’t involve her, she never balks at interacting with people/objects, she always faces situations immediately, she has trouble holding her tongue, she has difficulty introspecting (as evidenced from Luke’s training sessions), and most importantly, she exhibits no sign of needing a lot of down time to recharge. I’ve never known an introvert like that, let alone an ISFP, as they often dwell in their feelings away from the world and dislike taking on too much responsibility due to inferior Te. If she’s introverted, provide me with evidence, since I seem to have missed it.

I don’t think that there’s any evidence of N. She’s resourceful to a certain extent, but she seems to rely very heavily on other people to generate positive ideas and possibilities for reassurance, because she starts to panic when thinking on her own about “what could happen” (low Ne). She doesn’t easily come to intuitive insights about anything, let alone the future (no Ni). One scene in particular made me LOL. Luke was training her and asked her to close her eyes to meditate. He instructed her to “reach out” (to feel the energy of the force), and she extended her hand out physically into the air. That is the exemplar of being too literal. Furthermore, she spent how many freakin’ years following the same set routine day after day, in the same crap dump of a town, waiting obediently for her parents to pick her up? That’s the exemplar of Si discipline. Would SPs be capable of that patience or living in the dreary past for so long? 

I agree that she is primarily motivated by her feelings when making judgments and decisions, which means F. She had to fend for herself since childhood, so her skills are unsurprising. Yet she irrationally lacks self-confidence despite the fact that she’s proven over and over again to be quite scrappy and capable, and people even tell her as much all the time - this is likely to indicate an inferior T insecurity. She has great difficulty (i.e. is unconsciously resistant to) probing around within herself, which is common for inferior Ti in not wanting to feel one’s own darkness. The fact that introspection results in her discovering that her deepest, darkest fear is being completely and utterly “alone” as a “nothing” in “nothingness” is very compelling evidence for inferior Ti.

If inferior Ti, then dominant Fe is a must. I see lots of evidence. She is inexplicably able to communicate with anyone, of any species of bot or animal, with effortless empathic understanding? Her first stance is to give people the benefit of the doubt, no matter how strange or wayward they seem. She has a very naive trust in the goodness of people despite dealing with crooks all the time. She takes it upon herself to bring out the good in people whenever she is in a position to. I don’t think she’s always sure of her feelings (Fi-Ni), rather, she’s always sure that there is goodness to be found if one only looks hard enough (Fe-Ne). A lot of people have strong moral feelings and values, so I’m a bit tired of the lazy stereotype that Fi doms have the monopoly on morality. If you’re going to reference a person’s morality, go deeper to see what exactly it is they believe, how they came to those beliefs, and how they express those beliefs in detail, as that would be more revealing of their functions.

For such a goody-goody-two-shoes, her response to Kylo wasn’t the judgmental disgust that Luke barfed up (Fi-Te) but rather a scary desire to figure him out (Fe-Ti). She seemed quite UNcertain about her personal feelings about him (not Fi), which made their relationship one-sided for quite some time, as she struggled with the push-pull dynamic. ESFJs are often attracted to “dark and mysterious” people due to the unconscious yearnings of inferior Ti, even when Si-Ne warns them that these people are bad news. And it doesn’t get more mysterious than some powerful dude dressed in black donning a mask that shows up in random visions. When avoiding him was no longer possible, she made an admirable effort to dive deeper into his perspective, even when she rightfully feared losing herself in the process. She felt compelled to “get both sides of the story” in typical diplomat fashion before deciding what to do, in hopes of “fixing” Kylo through repairing his relationship with Luke.

Although there seemed to be constant teasing about the possibility of Rey turning dark, I never really saw any possibility. She gave no major indication of being afraid of turning, and it seemed that she never lost touch with her strong desire to be good. She only ever indicated a fear of failing to perform her duty capably (Si) and of failing all the people who were relying upon her powers to succeed (Fe). Discovering her true lineage didn’t really shake her because her parents were good in spite of their bloodline, so there was already an “exception to the rule” for her to follow and emulate. Turning dark would sever and betray her emotional connection to her parents - totally out of the question.

As far as I can tell, the only reason she survived her horrible childhood relatively unscathed was because she held on to the belief that her parents loved her enough to come back, i.e., emotional connection to others is her lifeline. I don’t think it’s an accident that, in her moment of greatest need, it was the connection to past Jedi and their encouragement that saved her butt. She was existentially SHOOK when Kylo claimed that her parents were horrible and abandoned her. And she was only able to find her footing again by inserting herself (i.e. “belonging” to) the Skywalker clan, essentially by being the model of a kid that Ben should’ve been. What self-respecting ISFP would be happy latching on to someone else’s mom, riding someone else’s coattails, and literally defining their identity through someone else’s name and legacy? 

I’ve heard some people critique Rey as a flat mary sue character, and I see where they’re coming from. But which type is most likely to resemble a mary sue at first glance? She is supposed to be the hero in a fairy tale after all, so one would expect her flawedness to be minimized.

Relationship Dynamics

In the final movie, the audience is bludgeoned over and over again with the claim that Kylo and Rey are meant to be a dyad. This all but guarantees that they will be exact functional opposites, otherwise, there would be no strong sense of complementary forces pulling them together into one perfectly harmonized and united front. Although the chemistry between them wasn’t properly developed IMO, I think I saw on paper what was meant to be happening in terms of the writer’s intentions.

Luke was unsuited to helping either of them with questions of identity and morality because, being Fi dom, he took these things for granted, presumptive, already settled non-issues, which amounts to him being closed to any real questioning and discussion. As a result of lacking good guidance, what drew Kylo and Rey together was an underlying need to help each other make sense of themselves, with the unconscious suspicion that the other person held the missing piece of the puzzle. 

Rey was only able to reach her potential by confronting the full extent of her own darkness within (inferior Ti), which was what Kylo forced her to do in incremental steps, as he kept nudging her to question her fundamental beliefs about who she is and what she stands for, presumably in the same way that he had done for himself. But it’s not as easy to twist someone’s sense of morality when F is at the top and healthy versus the bottom of the stack. By making it through his gauntlet of tests and critiques and facing down her fears, she was able to develop into a stronger and more self-assured person to eventually achieve inferior Ti closure. Don’t forget how her eyes would light up when hearing stories of Jedi masters and their achievements. It is mainly EJs who run headfirst toward responsibility rather than away from it. We see, in the end, a picture of Rey as a beaming, confident, and self-possessed person who feels like the world is her oyster, fully inhabiting her role in the hero story that she had always wished to be a part of. The audience is meant to believe that she’s the rightful heir when she finally believes in herself.

By questioning Rey’s identity, Kylo eventually had to question his own as well, since he was the one who wanted to believe that they shared a similar path to feeling lost. Kylo is stuck in adolescent cynicism as explained above, with Si loop resentment from the past preventing him from seeing other, better possibilities for himself. Late in the trilogy, I see in his face that he’s probably suffering from the sunk cost fallacy of thinking that he is past the point of no return. Perhaps he believes that he has no choice but to resign himself to the fate he has chosen (parallel to Vader) since Ti doms strongly believe in personal responsibility. He’s not wrong. If he wasn’t irredeemable at first, he certainly was after the profound destruction he had wrought. Ti doms are rarely wrong as their logic is usually impeccable, but they tend to lack perspective. E.g. He’s not wrong in believing that people are hypocritical because they really are (Ti factual judgment is spot on), but then he defines his terms too narrowly in dismissing all people as unworthy of being called “good” (Fe value judgment is very immature).

What finally broke the mental confinement of Si loop? IMO, three contributing factors: 1) He started to suffer the same skepticism about the dark side as he had with the Jedi, since Ti promotes impartial judgment, which opened him up somewhat to questioning his choices. INTPs deeply dislike sheep mentality and blind ideology, so being constantly asked to prove his “allegiance” and quietly “submit” all the time by his superiors only served to reveal their flawed mentality in the same vein as Luke, which gave him the logical justification he needed for eliminating one boss after another. 2) He was drawn deeper and deeper into Rey’s psychology, which backfired on him, because it proved to him, again and again, every which way, that goodness is indeed possible, as Rey easily aced every temptation and challenge that he was able to fling at her. For NPs(Ne), believing in possibility can’t help but create a strong desire to actualize it. 3) Leia intervened with what I’m assuming was one last-ditch attempt to communicate how much she truly loves him despite what he’s become, which perhaps served to expand his thinking about what it means to love. 

In the end, he redeemed himself on his own terms (even if he was not fully redeemed for the audience). As a result, he discovered something resembling happiness in his last moments of connection with Rey. You can’t tell a Ti dom to be good “just because”, or take goodness as default without question, or present a fake and idealized image of goodness for them to live up to, because that will never satisfy Ti. At the same time, morality cannot remain an abstract concept or else it is very easy to twist upside down. Goodness must be deeply FELT in order to be a motivating force, and he, at long last, felt goodness in his bones, through his decision to place the greater good above himself - inferior F often means arriving very late to the feeling party. He finally caught a glimpse of what he could be and should be through Rey’s, and possibly his mother’s, eyes, which allowed for inferior Fe closure. He had always gotten by okay without love and only believing and trusting in himself, but he realized that he was far better off for opening himself up to something more. 

That’s my take anyway. Or perhaps that’s what I needed to see to make the story more interesting for myself, lol.

[your-hurricane]

neon moon || chapter 1 - broadcast me a joyful noise unto the times

A/N:  Disclaimer, I haven’t written fanfic since I was fourteen so please be gentle with me, friends

AO3 link

Fair warning that the only editing this has gone through has been proofreading!

Also, the first two chapters are largely exposition and setting up the various connections between Frankie and the MC (Natalia), but they will finally get to meet in chapter three!

Neon Moon summary: [starts three years after the events of the movie]

Single dad Francisco "Frankie" Morales and former Ph.D candidate Natalia Yevstigneyev-Diaz are trying their best. 

Alternatively: Frankie and the woman about to change his life keep missing each other, until they don't.

“Whoo-wee! Nice one, Diaz!” Benny said from where he’d just been knocked onto his back atop the sparring mats. 

 At her instructor’s praise, Natalia Diaz preened, making a show of taking her long dark wavy-curls out of her workout ponytail and flipping her hair over her shoulder. “Thank you, thank you, always happy to hear my badassery is increasing.”

 “I’d say perfecting. That was solid.”

 “Yeah, haven’t seen him go down that unexpectedly probably ever,” piped up a man with big, kind brown eyes whose name Natalia swore was Frankie. She’d only ever heard him called by his real name once or twice --- Benny usually greeted him as Fish.

 If Frankie was here, that meant the rest of Benny Miller’s military buddies would be trickling into the gym. Pity they seemed to be on time today— flipping Benny was fun, maybe he’d’ve given her a window to do it again. Sometimes if his buddies ran late he’d keep sparring with her past the self-defense session she’d paid for. 

 “It’s thanks to him and his lessons! Wouldn’t know where to begin without him.” Natalia hi-fived Benny from where he was on the floor, now sitting. “Thanks as always, Benny. See you Friday afternoon?”

 “Hell yeah!”

 “Awesome. Well, I’ll get out of your hair before the rest of the guys show up. Later Benny!” She nodded politely to Frankie just as she spotted the man she knew to be Benny’s older brother and...Pope? Santiago? again, she’d only run into these men in passing.

  ~.*~.*~.*~.*

Natalia Diaz’s early life read like an adventure, and in many ways, it had been. Her mother, Anna Diaz, was a first generation Mexican-American of Spanish, Mixtec, and Chinese background who met her father, then in medical school, while studying abroad in Russia. Her father, Gavril Yevstigneyev, was from Yakutsk of mixed Russian, Yakut, and Chuvash background. He was a doctor who gave up the possibility of an ultra-lucrative career to spend most of his life working as a medical officer in human rights organizations, and she was a research assistant in those same organizations.

 Born while her father was practicing in St. Petersburg, Natalia Gavrilovna Yevstigneyeva Diaz didn’t spend too long in one place. She may have been a dual citizen of the United States and Russia but she didn’t set foot in the United States until she was twelve years old, and her earliest concept of ‘home’ was Pakse, Laos. She was educated at international schools across Southeast Asia, and spoke Lao, Khmer, and Vietnamese in daily life depending on where the Yevstigneyev family was living, Russian at home, learned English and French at school, and her mother taught her enough Spanish to understand her abuela’s English-Spanish mix on birthday and Christmas phone calls.

 When it came time to graduate from secondary school - she graduated in Laos, ultimately  - she even applied to universities across Laos, Canada, Cambodia, France, The United States, Switzerland, China, Singapore, Australia, and Russia. At her parents’ insistence she cast her net far and wide. Except, with twenty-two acceptance letters and zero rejections, she almost wished she hadn’t.

 She studied at McGill University and through a combination of scholarships, her parents’ help, and her “waitressing” job (stripping job actually, and Natalia was damn proud of it and the crazy money it made, but knew her parents would flip out on her so she lied), she earned her B.A.s in linguistics with a minor in translation and interpretation, and anthropology.

 She had her pick of the litter as far as where she could settle post-grad: her dual citizenship made the US and Russia wide open to her, Canadian employers were offering to keep her in Canada, her parents still lived in Laos - six years in one place? That was a record for her folks! - and the NGO they were working for straight up offered her a job without her even sending an application. 

 There wasn’t a grad school on planet Earth that would’ve rejected her application.

 Natalia’s life should have been set forever. For a while, it was.

 After a gap year traveling Bhutan, Thailand, Indonesia, Mongolia, and completing the Trans-Siberian railway with her younger sister Mariya, who took a gap year between secondary school and university herself, Natalia prepared to conquer grad school….at motherfucking Yale!

 That same year, her parents and younger siblings (save Mariya who was studying at Yakutsk State University in their father’s home Russian Republic of Yakutia) moved to her mother’s home state of Texas. A part of Natalia felt bad for her eleven year old sister and the three year old twins out of some sense that her upbringing had been, objectively, the best possible. Natalia did not feel Russian, or Mexican, or American, or Laotian, or Cambodian, or Vietnamese, nor did she feel the need to. Borders were an arbitrary thing. People were people just with different languages, looks, and customs, and she believed she came to know that truth early in life because of her childhood as a third culture kid. 

 She understood why her parents made that decision though.

 In her first year of grad school, the Yevstigneyev Diaz siblings were twenty-two year old Natalia, nineteen-year-old Mariya, eleven-year-old Valentina, and two-year-old Alisa and her twin brother, the only boy in the family, Pavel. Alisa had been born partially deaf and their parents, as if they could react any other way, saw it not as a terrible thing to mourn over but as an opportunity to learn. A challenge did not equal a burden in their eyes. When she was two, however, they realized they needed to either move back to Russia or move to the United States.

 The Yevstigneyevs primarily worked and lived in Vietnam and Laos, and there was no singular Laotian or Vietnamese sign language, rather, localized sign languages. As Alisa grew from an infant to a toddler they decided they did not want to deprive her of Deaf culture, and thus, the decision to move to Texas was made.

 Just two years after relocating to Texas, tragedy struck the family.

 A car speeding through a red light killed Anna and Gavril on the way home from volunteering their time to teach Russian classes at the local Russian cultural center. Natalia, then twenty-four years old with a newly minted Masters from Yale and acceptances to three Ph.D programs, had to force out emails declining the offers, pack up her apartment, and move to Texas to raise her siblings.

 Abuela Rita instinctively offered to handle her grandchildren, but Natalia couldn’t possibly make her abuela (who she barely knew at that) raise three children again. Besides, her mother’s youngest sister still lived at home, and this was the same year Hurricane Harvey destroyed one of her uncle’s homes and he, his wife, and their children were also living in Abuela’s home...yeah, no. No, this had to be Natalia.

 It was Natalia or the state of Texas and like hell she was going to throw her three little siblings, two of them just four, and one of them deaf,  into the system. Alisa being able to communicate in ASL was so important to her parents...how could Natalia possibly let Alisa go into a system that wouldn’t care?

 And anyway, it wasn’t so bad. She used her fluency in Russian, Lao, Khmer, and French to work as a book translator. She’d even gone back to dancing four days a week for two reasons. A. You’d think speaking five languages fluently would mean she was making an assload of money, right? Wrong. and B. The inheritance and life insurance policies from her parents wouldn’t last forever and she had four college educations to finance. 

That was three years ago, and two and a half years before she started taking self-defense classes from Benny Miller. She’d only been working at an Austin strip club for about four months when one handsy patron reminded her that she needed a refresher on how to throw a punch.

 As for why she was Natalia Diaz now and not Natalia Yevstigneyeva? Well. She was still Natalia Yevstigneyeva-Diaz, but unless she was filling out legal papers, or at the Russian cultural center, it was just Diaz. Her mother’s last name was just easier for Austinites to pronounce right. You had to be at least a level six friend to unlock her tragic backstory and her full last name.

 Natalia had had everything going for her until one drunk driver took her parents, her Ph.D goals, her planned return to traveling the world, and even her name in one instant. 

 She wished she had it in her to be bitter but that would require her to have time to think about herself anymore. If it wasn’t taking ASL classes with Alisa, it was listening to Mariya complain about her job. If it wasn’t Valentina’s archery competitions, it was Pavel’s gymnastics meets. 

 (Yes, yes, she knew. How stereotypically Russian of them to have a kid in competitive gymnastics. It wasn’t her idea! Pavel loved it and when he begged his big sister to be allowed more than one class a week...she dared anybody to say no to that face.)

Any Natalia time she did have was too precious to spend being bitter, she decided.

   ~.*~.*~.*~.*

“Natasha! Nataaaaaaaasha….NATASHA!” 

 “Wha!” Thud! “Fuck. Oww.”

 Natalia groaned from where she’d fallen into a startled pile on the living room floor, staring up at the ceiling and turned her head to shoot a glare at Mariya.

 “Marusya, one day, you’re going to scare me awake to actual death.”

 “That’s impossible.” Valentina said from where she sat at the dining table typing up a paper for school. “If you’re scared to literal death you can’t be scared awake because you’ll be dead. Dead people can’t be awake.”

 “Unless she’s a zombie, Valya!” Shouted Pavel from his room down the hall.

 “Pasha’s got a point.” Mariya said, to which Natalia grabbed her foot and yanked hard, making her shriek as she fell against the couch. “Oof. Anyway, you’re going to be late for work if you don’t hurry up.”

 Natalia checked her watch and let out a swear under her breath. “I really need to not spar with Benny on work nights. Hey, Valya-” she sat up on the floor and whirled around to face her middle sister. “Do I need to drop you off for babysitting anywhere tonight?”

 Valentina shook her head. “Abuela’s picking me up to take me to Mr. Morales’. I’m watching Daniela.” Mr. Morales - whoever that was - lived near Abuela and her taking Valentina to his house gave her some ‘Valone time’ she liked to say.

 Natalia peeled herself off the floor and made her way to her bedroom, stopping by Alisa’s on the way. She grabbed the purple narwhal plushie that lived in a little basket attached to her door - the Get Alisa’s Attention Narwhal - and gently tossed it at Alisa, and when it landed in her lap Alisa tossed it back to Natalia, kept her hands free, and said “I didn’t forget.”

 “Good. If you’re good at the dentist tomorrow morning, I’ll buy you ice cream after.”

 “Isn’t that the opposite of what you should do after the dentist?”

 “So you don’t want ice cream?” “That’s not what I said!”

 Natalia laughed and stepped far enough into Alisa’s room to ruffle her hair and then said, “Be good. Masha’s in charge while I’m at work.”

  ~.*~.*~.*~.*

 “Thought you were day shift on Wednesdays, Natasha!” A black woman with her hair in box braids — Jess, stage name Phoenix — said, throwing her arm around Natalia when she first got to work. 

 “Nah, I talked to Paris, got my hours changed around, remember? Gosh, it’s like you don’t remember everything I ever say to you.” 

 Jess stuck her tongue out and muttered, “Bitch,” before smooching Natalia’s cheek.

 Natalia shoved Jess off of her with a giggle. “Go finish getting ready, ya crazy.” She sat down in front of one of the available mirrors to touch up her makeup before she was officially working, then addressed Jess again. “My 11-8 days are now Sunday and Monday. Wednesday, Saturday, I’m here with you 8 til 4, baybeeeee.”

 “Mm, good call. Wine Wednesday.”

 Half price wine meant more cash for dancers. 

 “Needs more body glitter,” Natalia said in her best Christopher Walken impression, before unscrewing the cap of her body glitter to shiny herself up. 

 “Now in your Zoya voice!”

 “Needs more body glitter,” Natalia repeated, this time, in her stage persona’s stronger Russian accent.

 The accent helped to further distinguish between Zoya the performer and who Natalia was offstage. It also wasn’t exactly offensive, either, because it was just Natalia exaggerating the accent she naturally had and just making it consistently Russian. It was a mess otherwise. Natalia and Mariya...talked funny. Their accents were kind of impossible to place because of how they learned English and which languages they first learned to actually speak in.

 At first listen, their international school education would hint at American- ish . But listen closely and certain vowels come out like an Aussie or a Canadian, courtesy of international school teachers from those countries. Listen for another moment and you’ll hear that Natalia’s tongue, specifically, never learned to consistently make certain sounds that English has that Russian, Lao, Vietnamese and Khmer just don’t. Natalia’s H’s came out harsh courtesy of her Russian father. And both Natalia and Mariya had a habit of dropping articles when telling their younger siblings to ‘close window’ or ‘feed dog and cat.’

For the most part, as Natalia tried to explain to anybody who asked about her accent, English was a language for the classroom. They spoke exclusively Russian in the home and out in ‘the wild’ spoke the local language. Yakutsk was a closer flight from Laos, Cambodia, or Vietnam than Austin was so if they visited any grandparents for Christmas it was their babushka and dedushka in Russia.

 Returning to the US permanently never was the plan, remember. It was only a decision they made for Alisa to live somewhere with a standard sign language -- and the only reason, Anna confessed to Natalia once, that they didn’t go back to Russia, was because Natalia had recently come out as bisexual.

  “We worried for Valya and the twins. What if they also grow up and realize they aren’t straight? The way it is in Russia for people like you...your father and I love Russia more than the United States. But we love our kids more than Russia.”

 She hated how vivid that conversation was in her head. There were some truly beautiful moments with her mother that had already faded from memory. How unfair of her brain to let things like holidays, birthdays, and her mother’s hugs slip. 

“Drive home safe, Jess.” Natalia bid her friend farewell a little after four the next morning, kissing her on the cheek before she unlocked her own car. If she got up to 70 and stayed there, she’d be home in time to count her tips, shower, and fix breakfast for the kiddos before school and in Alisa’s case, the dentist.

~.*~.*~.*~.*

 “Stand still Pasha,” Natalia said as she gently bopped the seat of her baby brother’s pants to knock the glitter off them. “Your butt looks like a glitter cannon exploded right next to it.”

 Pavel giggled and pointed out, “It’s your fault there’s always glitter in your bed.”

 “You shouldn’t lay down in my bed for naps after I’ve woken you up for school anyway. Especially not after you’ve already got your clothes on, you dingus.”

 “ Heeeey, that’s mean!” Pavel pouted.

 “Not if I’m saying it with love. Which I am.” Natalia stood up and pressed a kiss to the top of her brother’s head. “Okay, your butt’s as unsparkly as it's gonna get.”

 “I don’t see what wrong with having a sparkly butt anyway.” Pavel grumbled.

 “Now run along to the bus stop with the other kids. Be good at school, learn lots, I love you kid.”

 “Love you too , Natashe-!” the -nka! came muffled as Pavel had darted out the door to run down to the bus stop. 

 Natalia sipped on her coffee and watched out the window as her brother darted across the field to the complex’s mailbox pavilion to make sure he joined the other children safely. Satisfied he had, she turned away from the window to trudge back to the kitchen and refill her coffee and begin her vanilla work for the day before she had to wake Alisa for the dentist. On today’s docket? Trying to get through editing at least the first third of her Russian translation of the next book in the hottest new YA series.

 There was nothing Natalia wanted more than a nap but she was already cutting her deadline close. Right on schedule was the same as being behind in the literary translation world. If she wasn’t so ahead of schedule she was getting bored then she was nearing panic mode. 

 Logically she knew that only she felt that way. Her boss didn’t, or at least never felt the need to express to her that he did, but just herself was enough to put the pressure on from beginning to end of a project.

 It had benefited her in school. Not so much in her career.

 A life in academia as a linguistics scholar and researcher would have suited her better. The universe didn’t consider that when it let a drunk driver kill her parents and leave her three siblings to raise and Mariya’s academic dreams to finance.

[space-blue]

Who Criminals Pray To

Third competition win.

"Won't you stop shaking that fucking leg of yours?" Mike mutters behind ground teeth. "I'll cut it off if it bothers you that much."

"Look at that bunch of street punks," I whisper back without trying to bring my leg under control. "Just look at them, so little respect, no gravity."

"It's your damn job to groom the newbies Sean."

"I didn't make the timetable. Go figure why the boss felt like we should introduce them to the God this session. Certainly wasn't my idea."

"Can't blame the runts for being excited though. What kind of crazy rotten luck is it to be here same as the Dons of all people?"

"Want me to call them off?"

Mike chews on his lips, purple and split from a bout in whatever hovel he decided to cool his temper in this weekend. Being second in command in the Phobos family isn't exactly a relaxing job. Mike likes to go out with the grunts, rough up some locals late on payments or little dealers trying to cut corners. I find my own releases elsewhere.

"Nah. Good test of character, this."

I'm not so sure. I look up at our five new recruits, mingling with four counterparts of the Don family, jabbing fingers in puffed up chests and engaging in sharp banter. I assume many first met in the streets. All our new boys were urchins not even a year ago. I read their small, single-paged files, hastily written by the people in charge of them throughout our organisation. I talked to them, tried to educate them as much as I could, grinding rituals in their skulls. At the end of the day I don't think they really understand what we're doing here. After all, urchins have no God. Raised around the ovens of a small bakery, I was brought up pious. If object have spirits, places guardian gods, concepts emanations and trades patron saints, it only makes sense to know how to mind your manners and deal with the deities that rule your life. My mother taught me to keep household spirits happy before I could walk, and my father saved our nicest breads and pastries as offerings. He brought me with him whenever he went for donations. The God of bakers loved us like we loved him, and our dough rose high, our pastries stayed crisp and I never saw a mouse in the shop. When I went to school, I paid monthly tributes to the God of students and emanation of knowledge and curiosity. So when I became a gang member and joined the Phobos family, I paid just as scrupulous respects to the God of criminals. I understand the concept in a manner our former-urchins-turned-street-thugs can't. To them the God is a boss on top of the boss, too high up the hierarchy to care about them. But they're criminals now, and their success in that new line of business will depend on proper devotion.

"What is the boss doing?" I ask Mike for the tenth time this evening, not trying to hide the worry in my voice.

"Can't be long. The Dons are waiting too, see. Maybe Phobos is busy cutting that fat fuck's fingers right outside?"

Mike smiles lopsidedly at the images that conjures, but it's unlikely. You don't misbehave like that around your God's place. You're not late either. It goes without saying that you don't get in arguments or fist-fights in the ante-chamber, which I'm starting to worry our boys might have forgotten. I look up across the small waiting room to where another collection of rickety chairs hold equally anxious higher-ups from the Don family, also waiting on their boss so that the ceremony of Gift-giving and Induction can begin. There is Franky, the Don's son and right arm, and Tilda, a cold-eyed woman you really don't want to meet on the other side of a negotiation table. The man glancing back at me over his glasses is Charles Morrow, a fine fellow with a blade of a face who holds a similar position to mine in his own gang. He raises his eyebrows in silent acknowledgement. I close my eyes and sigh. Let's hope the God is in a forgiving mood.

A bang and a yelp snap me back to attention. Phobos slammed the door into the men and is storming through, a package under his arm and a puffing, angry red Erzo Don on his heels, still biting on the last words of whatever argument they were having. Each group folds over their boss and everyone pays last minute attention to the gifts they brought and the fine clothes they wear. Phobos is a tall man, sharp and well cut, just like the black suits he favours, and known as the coldest mobster on this coast. He exchanges quiet words with Mike, and pats my elbow briefly. The man's way of making up for the stress he knows he's been giving me. Activity dies down as a servant enters the room to unlock the inner chamber's doors. We shuffle to our positions by hierarchical order and I glance at my charges one last time.

"Remember, don't react, keep it all in!"

They nod, worry finally settling on their young faces as the solemnity of the event dawns on them. For such a bunch of misfits, they do me proud. All I can hear is sharp intakes of breath as their eyes fall on the deity who will soon learn their name and hold their fates in its heart. The God of transgression, patron saints of criminals and emanation of rule-breaking, looks like a child and a monster. Five years old if you had to put an age on it, with sandy blond hair parting around little horns that poke from its forehead and the crown of its head. Some are black and keratinous, some the off-white of ivory. Its skin is unhealthily pale, cheeks oddly flushed. Its pinched, lipless mouth betrays no feelings. But the real unease comes from the eyes. One dark and filled with odd lights, the other white and full of colourful swirls, both huge and sparkling, somehow. Alien. The child-like being sits on a large pillow atop a carpeted dais, its servants kneeling behind it. Like the building, they are paid for by donations, one of the many ways we show our love to the God.

"Greetings!" Don booms, stepping up to deliver his offering. "I present you with these gifts, my dea–"

Don's words die in his throat, silenced by a small hand, raised palm out.

"Erzo Don, what do you think you are doing here?"

The God's voice is high as a child's but its inflections are nuanced, its tone menacing.

"Well... We've come to presen–"

"You annoy me."

The pressure rises in the room and I feel goosebumps all over my skin. The God stands, face as blank as marble.

"I am the God of criminals, Don. I patron thieves, liars, racketeers, yes. People who live on the margins of the larger society. But if there is one thing I don't condone, it is lying to me."

The God steps down towards Don. I see the sweat drenching him, Morrow's bloodless face, Tilda's hand all white-knuckled around Frank's wrist and their new men's confused expressions. What have they done?

"You can't go and grovel to the God of killers and murderers thinking I wouldn't know about it. Did you not think of your family? Of me?"

"God, but it was only a sid–"

"Go."

Silence hangs over us like a corpse at the end of a fraying rope. There is nothing to do but to obey. One word that ends a whole family business, maybe a fifth of the local territory, suddenly up for dispute. Chaos will engulf them, they will have no divine support.

I'm still thinking of the consequences as the door closes behind the last of them and Phobos steps up, offering the content of his package like nothing happened. It's two hands sawed at the wrists and held together by handcuffs. Charming–and it makes the God smile. Mike is next, showing his split lips and telling his tales. The God nods along, used to the urban-outlaw-cowboy style of our second-in-command. And then it's me, embracing the being my success in life depends on. He's done me good and I love it like I loved the pudgy God that ate our bread and blessed us for it.

"What have you for me Sean?" The child-God asks as I cup its pallid face in my scarred hands.

"A secret," I murmur in its ear. "The cops are coming to crack on the riverside locations. I tipped them to great profit."

The God chuckles, looking up at me with the same adoration I feel for it. It squeezes my hand and waves for me to introduce our new members. What's a spy to the emanation of rule breaking? Nothing more than a good devotee.

~~ June 2017 – Theme : Gangsters and Crime Lords

[stcrmys]

god !! i hate that i had to rush this but i promise i am so beyond excited to write with all of you ! stormy , thanks kylie jenner for the name idea hehe , is a brand new muse and i am so excited to explore her and see where she goes !! i love plotting, like i find it so fun and am a hoe for angst and drama and friendships ! god if i dont get a cute bff plot you will see me pouting until the end of my days !! asdfg . basically though my point was if you want to plot please just like this ?? message me ? i have to switch to mobile but ill still be here !! also i still have to figure out my tags and finish my plot so i repeat do not desktop my good sis’s blog . anyway please let me shut up !! 

*  lawless  paparazzi  flashed  photos  of  a  2019  ,  zenvo st1  pulling  into  the  sparkling  gates  of  quincy  park  ,  indicating  that  stormy  of  the  prosperous  villeneuve  lineage  has  returned  home  .  college  ended  for  the female  in  2018 ,  but  they’re  already  flourishing  in  their  field  , proclaiming  that  their  bachelor's  degree  in  music  production   is  being  put  to  prolific  use  .  the  general  public  may  be  unworldly  enough  to  believe  that  her accomplishments  were  earned  honestly  ,  but  the  people  of  new  york  city  are  painstakingly  aware  that  it's  impossible  to  snag  a  top  paying  position  as  a  music artist  right  out  of  university  .  the  family’s  been  tormented  with  a  well  -  known  rumor  that  they buy out every record company to eliminate their competition and when that goes south they have a tendency of releasing career damaging scandals to the public to ruin the company’s reputation and their talents career’s  for  years  ,  so  it  was  news  to  no  one  when  the  villeneuve’s made  local  headlines  claiming  the  only  reason  their  obstreperous  progeny’s  career  is  what  it  is  is  because  her father paid spotify, billboard, and apple million of dollars to make sure that her first album went number one and stayed number one .  tempest has  done  a  splendid  job  of  keeping  the  bloodline’s  furtive  truths  confidential  ,  but  their  reputation  of  being  effervescent  &  gaining  a  postgrad  inheritance  of  724.8m  hasn’t  been  enough  to  cease  the  counter  blast  from  new  york’s  angry  civilians  .  if  they’re  not  heedful  ,  not  even  quincy  park’s  sturdy  golden  gates  will  be  capable  of  keeping  out  the  city’s  vengeance  .  (  madison beer  ,  twenty one ,  the skookum  /   )

  ‧  *   i.   ╱   stats    .

name : stormy avania genevieve villeneuve

nickname(s) : storm , storm - storm, little villeneuve, honeybee. 

age : twenty one .

birthday : november sixteenth .

zodiac : scorpio .

gender ╱ pronouns : cisfemale , she and her.

sexual orientation : heterosexual 

romantic orientation : heteroromantic 

languages : english, french, italian.

occupation : music artist 

 voiceclaim : madison beer.

 ‧  *   i.   ╱   summary    .

hazel  hues  dipped  in  virescent ,  locks  of  chocolate  that  sits  on  honeyed  skin  .  the  tempest . boisterous .  captivating .  a  goddess  true  to  the  name  that  carved  itself  into  her  flesh ,  stormy .  her  arrival  itself  being  chaotic  winds  and  whispers  of  a  mistress  who  had  set  themselves  out  to  tear  apart  a  home .   a  concept  twisted  and  concealed  by  the  hands  of  the  villeneuve’s . sob  stories  and  apologizes  along  with  the  preaching  of  “ i’m becoming a better man everyday, “ clinging  to  the  ears  of  the  media  , and soon  the  world . expected . andres   villeneuve  could  do  not  wrong . a  powerful  man  within  the  world  of  music . respected  and  adored . someone  whom  inherited  the   ability  to  make  the  world  drop  to  their  knees  and  worship  mediocre  musicians .  why  would  they  stone  him  for  one  single  mistake  ?  or  at  least  , why  would  they  stone  him  for  one  single  mistake  for  the  rest  of  his  life .  they  forgive  him  in  the  name  of  everyone . and  soon ,  the  villeneuve  became  a  family  of  seven .  

she  was  privileged  . her  tiny  feet  walked  on  thousand  dollar  carpets  ,  the  fabric  that  clung  to  her  body  should  have  been  carved  from  the  hands  of  an  angel  at  what  they  were  cost . private  school .  tutors  .  cheerleading  and  then  volleyball  and  then  soccer  and  then  back  to  cheerleading  . the piano  .  the  saxophone  .  the  drums  .  the guitar  .  her  childhood  consisted  of  experiencing  everything  there  was  to  experience .  sports .  music .  art .  learning  at   two  languages  by  the  time  she  reached  ten .  she  was  raised  to  be  intelligent  . athletic .  talented .  she  had  to  be  talented .  within  the  arts ,  if  she  was  not  picking  up  an instrument  or  holding  a  note  her  dad  grew  bored  and  annoyed .  something  that  the  small  brunette  learned  quick . and  so  like  most  children ,  she  impressed . she  really impressed .  she  was  polite  and  respectful  .  well  mannered . the  strictness  of  her  father  and  step  mother  weighing  on  her  shoulders  .   they  wanted  perfection  . 

being  with  her  father  and  his  wife  and  kids  was  almost  as  if  she  stepped  into  a  dream . flashing  lights ,  luxuriousness . and  while  her  mom  had  a  status  of  her  own , her  dad  was  shaped  and  formed  different  .  the  fame . the  respect .  it  was  everything  to  him . bouncing  back  and  forth , stormy  felt  like  two  different  people . with  her  father  ,  she  was  all  work  no  play . and  her  mother ?  she  was  play  and  whatever  she  wanted  to  do .  her  mom  taught  her  the  importance  in  life  was  not  the  cars  and  the  houses  and  the  clothes  ( “although they are nice.. reallly fucking nice )  but  the  character  behind  the  objects .  and  she  refused  to  let  the  vibrant  child  of  hers  be  locked  into  a  box  of  running  to  fame  like  it  was  the  only  thing  that  would  make  her  life  and  her  impact  important . her  mother ?  she  was  all laughs  and  giggles . jokes  and  shopping  days  . sky diving  in  greece  and  pretend  music  videos  in   italy . the  one  that  mostly  shaped  stormy  into  who  she  is  now . 

for  the  last  twenty  one  years  is  one  person  that  reflects  a  childhood  split  into  two  .  the  ambitious  sometimes  selfish  sometimes  ruthless “ ill  pretend  im  stone  cold  if  that  what  it   takes “ and  the  vibrant  boisterous  life  of  the  party   and  the  light  of  your  life  .  the  twenty  one  year  old  girl  who  has  heard  be  yourself  and  be  better  from  two  different  voices  and  is  still  trying  to  decide  who  she  even  is  underneath  the   all  the  expectations . 

‧  *   ii.   ╱   personality    .

she  is  an  animated  laugh  escaping  parted  lips  ,  affectionate  hands  reaching  out  to  pull  you into  her  embrace  .  she’s  the  sound  of  her  own  heart  beating    in  her  ears  as  her  foot  is  on  the  gas  or  her  hues  pear  out  at  the  sky  of  blue  she’s  about  to  jump  in .  she  is  tired  eyes  in  result  of  not  sleeping  and  instead  writing  song  after  song .  she  is  one  am  studio  sessions  and  three  am  shots .  she  is  the  small  girl  who  pears  up  at  her  daddy  and  just  wants  to  feel  like  she  is   more  then  just  another  way  to  benefit  him  . she  is  the  desire  to  be  wanted  .  to  be  loved . she’s  spontaneous  trips  to  tropical  islands  and  dramatic  scenes  .   she  is  harmless  teasing  and  a  goofy  smile . day  dreaming  about  falling  in  love .  she’s  the  whisper  in  your  ear  that  she  loves  you  but  the  coldness  in  your  bed  as  you  reach  out  and  realize  that  she’s  no  longer  there . she’s  not  thinking  about  consequences .  the  honeyed  dipped  voice  that  tells  you  to  do  it . she’s  gentle  kisses  against  your  skin .  she’s  feeling  everything  all  the  time  and  feeling  it  deeply . she’s  the  girl  you  just  cannot  take  your  eyes  off  of .  she  talks  to  you  and  suddenly  you  feel  as  though  the  world  revolves  around  you . she’s  scattered  thoughts  and  rosy  lips  that  never  stop  moving . a  broken  heart  that  never  knows  if  it  wants  to  grow  cold  or  have  someone  come  and  fix  it  . 

‧  *   iii.   ╱   headcanons ??   .

asdj she’s a mess? basically that’s all i got for her.

she’s the second youngest out of five. 

is an artist under her dad’s label, and while she loves making music she does not love him having a say in her creative process.

she’s such a light !! 

affectionate, playful, ambitious, careless, boisterous, hard to control, talkative, an adrenaline junkie! jealous and petty, vehement. 

is such a different person around her dad? basically blocks him from seeing her true personality.

truth is she still fears his rejection. 

she has a journal that she carries everywhere. 

craves feeling important to people? if she doesnt feel like her bond with you is meaningful she gets all weird and annoying!

is hot and cold in romantic relations.

but so god damn affectionate! with everyone! let her hold your hand or lay her head against your shoulder or run her fingers up and down your arm !!!

is the ultimate adventure buddy .

needs excitement twenty four seven sorry. 

will give you a nickname, she doesnt care if your name is cat. its not just c ! asdfg.

i have so much more but ill add later, im kind of rushing asdfg !! 

‧  *   iii.   ╱   connections    .

best friend, platonic soulmate, ex best friends, group of friends preferably all girls, family friends, childhood friends, other clients who are signed to her father, first love, ex lovers, toxic relationship, toxic friendship, on and off relationship, confidants, partner in crime, the mom friend who always moms her, rivals, friends who drifted apart, friends with benefits, ex friends with benefits, one sided friendship, one sided relationship, unlikely friends, cousins, hardly related cousins, love hate relationship, forbidden romance or friendship??? 

[duhragonball]

Dragon Ball Z 166

Cell Games Saga!    This is probably my all-time favorite part of DBZ.   I have a hard time deciding between this and the Perfect Cell Saga that preceded it.   This is probably because it was the Perfect Cell arc where I finally got hooked on DBZ, and the Cell Games was the payoff to the cliffhanger.   

Here’s the thing: Cell has already won.    Twice, really.    He was the last warrior standing in the post-apocalyptic future he came from, then he went back in time to this era to fulfill the true purpose of his design.    Actually absorbing 17 and 18 to become his final form involved a lot of extra battles that he didn’t have to fight in his own time, but like he told Piccolo in his debut, he was created to do it.    He had to do it.   

I suppose that’s the core concept of Cell as a character.  Winning alone isn’t enough for him.  He enjoys winning, but he wants it to be on his own terms.    Dare I say it, he wants his victory to be perfect.     So moping around in his native era, a world where the androids and Z-Figthers have all been killed, held no satisfaction for him.    The Imperfect and Perfect Cell Sagas were his chance at a do-over.   You’d think beating Piccolo, 16, Tien, Vegeta, and Trunks to reach his perfect form would be enough for him, but it’s not.    And so he spared Trunks, and promised to arrange a tournament where they could fight all over again.  

The other thing to keep in mind about Cell is that he only seems to enjoy winning for its own sake.    Reaching his perfect form seems to have been his only major objective.   In the last episode, he admitted to Trunks that he’s really only out to enjoy himself now.    He was created to kill Goku, but that no longer holds any particular interest for him.   He wants to fight Goku, but that’s probably because Goku’s the only major player he hasn’t beaten yet.   But Goku’s probably not going to offer much more sport than the other Super Saiyans he’s fought, so that’s why he’s planning a tournament, so he can fight all his enemies in one go.  

Except, that’s kind of what he just did in the last 17 episodes.   It says a lot about Cell that he won that gauntlet, and all he knows to do with himself is to clap his hands and say “Again!”.    Team Four Star observed that Cell is only six years old, which sounds about right.    For all his power and intellect, Cell lacks emotional maturity in a lot of ways.    All he knows is fighting, but he has no interest in conquest or spoils.   There’s no raddish farm Cell can go to between battles.  

So this leaves the Z-Fighters in the awkward position of losing a battle for the fate of the world, but still being alive to deal with the consequences.   Vegeta and Krillin meet up with Trunks, and he fills them in.   Vegeta scolds Trunks for trying to fight Perfect Cell alone and this just might be peak Vegeta right here.    Does he even listen to himself?  

Krillin tries to put Geets in his place by revealing that Trunks surpassed him, but Trunks shushes him.   When I first saw this episode, I thought maybe Trunks was still trying to protect his father’s pride, but over the years I’ve realized that Trunks was just trying to spare himself the embarrassment.   He had thought he had surpassed Vegeta, but his increased strength was illusory, and it’s just as well that Vegeta never knew about it, since he would have dismissed it as such.  

Actually, that’s kind of the tragedy of the time these two spent in the Hyperbolic Time Chamber.   They had to share the room, but they clearly spent very little time working together, or Trunks could have shown Vegeta his Dummy Thicc form, and Vegeta would have told him why it was a blind alley.  To be sure, Vegeta probably wouldn’t have been very kind about it, but it would have been less painful than learning the lesson from Cell.   

In contrast, we saw Goku and Gohan have that exact conversation in the previous episode, and it was pretty early on during their time in the HTC.   Gohan was all “This will work”, and Goku was like “No, it can’t.    We need to try something else.”     Vegeta and Trunks could have shared that same exchange of ideas, but they didn’t because Vegeta insisted on training alone.  

From the Lookout, Piccolo starts planning his own session in the Hyperbolic Time Chamber.    You’d think this would do the trick, since he was much, much stronger than Goku or Vegeta before they went in.    In theory, a year to train would push Piccolo over the top, but it never actually works out that way.   

Likewise, Trunks and Vegeta decide to do the same thing.    Krillin was pretty upset to hear about Cell’s tournament, because who could even enter the thing after Cell beat everyone?   But Piccolo and the Saiyans are game for one more round.    After all, they still have the time chamber, and this was what Cell was counting on, even though he doesn’t know about the chamber specifically.    He saw for himself that Vegeta and Trunks improved very dramatically, and apparently Goku’s doing something similar, so he’s hoping that if he gives them ten days, they’ll be even better opponents.   

Android 16 also wants in the tournament, and he steps forward to ask the Z-Fighters to take him in for repairs so he can fight on their side.    Trunks hates that idea, because he still regards the androids as enemies of the Earth, but Krillin agrees to help, because he believes 16 isn’t really a bad guy.   He doesn’t understand why the androids are worse in Trunks’ world, but in this world they all share a common enemy in Cell, and that’s good enough to help 16.

Hyperbolic Time Chamber Update: Goku tries to put Gohan in bed for the night, but Gohan wakes up and apologizes for passing out during their training.    Goku wants him to rest, but Gohan pleads to keep training with Goku, so Goku decides he’s going to turn in for the night as well, if only to convince Gohan to get the rest he needs.  

At Capsule Corp., everyone meets up to discuss the situation.    Trunks explains Cell’s tournament, and Yamcha gets all nostalgic for the Tenkaichi Budokai.  Oolong reminds him that he lost the first round of every tourney he entered.   Well, let’s see how that compares to Oolong’s win-loss record, which currently stands at oh wait Oolong never fought in any tournaments because he’s just a one-off gag villain who never did anything useful after that one time he wished for panties.   It’s almost like Oolong is a perverted jackass who needs to shut his mouth and stay in his own damn lane.  At least Yamcha shows up for these kinds of things, and he accomplishes his own personal growth, even if it doesn’t actually turn the tide of the battles.   What’s Oolong ever done for the world except drool and support the child-size suspender industry?   

On the other hand, Yamcha’s been in exactly zero suitcases full of panties, so I guess Oolong has him beat there.    In case you can’t tell, I’m being sarcastic.    Fuck you, Oolong.    

Vegeta, Trunks, and Bulma’s parents have never heard of the Tenkaichi Budokai, so Roshi explains it to them, while also noting that he was a former champion.   Puar’s all “Wait, when did you win the Tenkaichi Budokai?”    So I guess Roshi’s secret identity as Jackie Chun is still in effect?   I feel like there was some point where it was implied that the others knew the truth.    Or maybe I just thought that because Roshi keeps alluding to his Jackie Chun work without actually spelling it out.  

Vegeta mocks the tournament, which seems pretty stupid, since it was a long time ago, back when everyone was weaker.    I mean, he calls them “lower-level fights”, but by that logic, the scrap with the Ginyu Force was a lower level fight, and everyon in this room could kick Recoome’s ass today.   Except Oolong, he’d get killed in seconds.    Puar would shapeshift into a bug and burrow into his brain through his eyes and kill him that way.    Puar doesn’t mess around.   

According to Roshi, they stopped holding the tournament after Piccolo and Goku’s match destroyed the “fighting ring”.   I find that weird, because it buries the lead.    Piccolo destroyed the whole city the tournament was held in.   Of course, we would later learn that a 24th Budokai was held without the Z-Fighters’ knowledge, but we’ll get to that later.   

By the time Roshi finishes his story, everyone but Dr. Brief has left the room.    I kind of like this gag, because Roshi sort of got lost in his own exposition.   Most of the characters already knew what the Budokai was, and the ones who didn’t were only interested in how it relates to Cell’s version, which Roshi doesn’t know yet.  

Outside, Vegeta insists that the human fighters won’t matter in Cell’s tournament.   That’s kind of B.S., because when I first watched these episodes, I really thought they were going to do some sort of thing where Cell would fight each good guy one-on-one, and by the time he got to Krillin he’d be pretty tired, to the point where Krillin would have a real chance of making a difference.  I mean, 16′s no match for Perfect Cell either, but they’re still taking the time to repair him.    The more guys they bring to this party, the better their chances.   

Chi-Chi, for one, is relieved to hear about the tournament, because Cell will finally have to follow some rules, even if they’re rules he made up himself.   Killing your opponent was illegal in the Tenkaichi Budokai, and so she’s expecting a similar no-killing rule at the Cell Games.   

That being the case, she refuses to allow Gohan to participate in the tournment, because in her mind it’s voluntary, as opposed to the previous crisis, where the androids and Cell went around attacking everyone.  

Here’s a cute picture of baby Gohan, from a flashback to where Chi-Chi first declared that Gohan wouldn’t become a martial artist.    When he was born, the world as at peace, so Chi-Chi believed it would be a waste for Gohan to learn martial arts.    The last 166 episodes o this show suggest otherwise, but Chi-Chi’s sticking to her guns.  

Then she tells the others that she doesn’t want Gohan to become a delinquent like all of them, and they take offense to that.    Okay, from left to right:

Yamcha was a literal bandit.  

Chiaotzu grifted yokels for free corn.   He also cheats at things.

Krillin destroyed the remote, thereby allowing Cell to become perfect.   

Master Roshi belongs in jail.  

Oolong grifted yokels for free child brides.   

I mean, the shoe fits.  

On the other hand, let’s check in on Cell, who is literally murdering a guy so he can flatten his property and build a tournament ring over it.   I love Chi-Chi, but she’s like every overwrought crusader on the internet.     Cell’s out here dumping toxic waste into the ocean, and she’s calling out Krillin for using a plastic straw.   

This whole scene is bad ass.   Cell lifts a hill out of the ground with telekinesis, sort of like how Frieza did on Namek, except he carves it into a stone block, then slices it into tiles, and arranges them into a larger replica of the Tenkaichi Budokai stage.   This event hasn’t even started yet, and it’s already way better than those piece of shit Frieza Games from a few years ago.    Two hundred bucks a seat, and you get there and Frieza just sits in his stupid hoverchair and chatters while Zarbon and Dodoria fight people for him.   For six hours.  

A lot of this episode was a waste of time, because Cell pretty well explained the tournament idea to Trunks in the previous episode, and he’s going to announce the full details in the next episode.   So there’s not much point in having a bunch of good guys talk about it here.    This was probably just an excuse to do a flashback to some of the old Budokai episodes, but I still like this one because of Cell making the ring, and the gang chilling out on Bulma’s balcony.    Good times.  

[wakraya]

SBURB - The Board Game

Hey guys! Since the post I made yesterday got some traction and you all seemed super interested in this concept, I decided that, fuck it! Even though I don’t have all of the cards made and I’ve still got to refine the rules, I may as well share what I have, right?

This is something I’ve been doing on my free time! While I’ve given some thought to it and would totally love to make it into a functional game, maybe with one of those Tabletop Simulator things online, it’s still pretty much amateurish and untested. So with that out of the way:

How To Play

The game is at its core, a turn-based Card Game. You will have certain randomly-chosen characteristics that will shape how you interact with the others in the Session, but generally, most people’s objective is going to be completing a successful SBURB Session. There are 10 different decks of Cards with different kinds of Cards.

Character: Character Cards, they determine your Health and Aspect Vial count, as well as some special ability you may be able to use in your game!

Role: These determine your scoring conditions. Most people will get the SBURB Player, but there are other roles as well. No one but you should see your Role until the end of the game.

Land: Land Cards are... Well. Your Lands. Each half of a Land will have some special attribute only the person in the Land can benefit from, or they may have negative effects or special events that require some sort of activation.

Loot: Your basic Item Rewards, everything from Classpects to Weapons and Consumables.

Treasure: Advanced Item Rewards, usually powerful and can change the tide of a game.

Action: Your basic Actions, these will allow you to stop other character’s Actions, buff or debuff enemies other people encounter, and do things like Prototype or Ascend to God Tier.

Miracle: Just like Loot have Treasures, Actions have Miracles. These may allow for some dramatic effects like un-prototyping something or spawning a boss.

Strife: These are encounter cards, they may have an enemy you have to fight/flee from, or they may have some immediate reward/debuff for exploring your Land.

Boss: Agents, Royalty, Denizens and the like.

Doom: Dramatic, Session-Wide Events. These will be flipped over because of Miracles, or after a set number of turns. Something like, something awfully powerful falling on a Sprite and buffing every enemy and the Royalty, Jack stealing the Ring and becoming the Boss instead of the Black Queen, and such. The Reckoning can be either set to appear after X number of Turns, or you could just draw Doom Cards until The Reckoning appears, at which point you’d have 5 Turns until the Tumor Detonates and ends the Game.

Now that the Card Types have been explained, lets continue with the Gameplay! The SBURB Board Game is divided into three distinct parts.

The Set Up

This stage is basically a preliminary round before starting the game so that everyone gets the cards they need to begin everything. In whatever order they want, the Players will take a Character and Role Card. Everyone can see the Character, but no one can see the Role, of course. Everyone will also pick either 2 Action Cards, or 1 Action Card and 1 Loot Card.

They will also have to take 1 Land Card and add it as one half of their Land Title. They may choose to have it one the first or second slot without restriction, except for the ‘Frogs’ part of the Land, which will always go at the End. Drawing the ‘Frogs’ Land also instantly makes your Aspect be the Space Aspect. Similarly, equipping the Space Aspect immediately makes your Land the ‘Frogs’ Land, no exceptions. If any event gets rid of your Space title, your ‘Frogs’ Land goes with it, and vice-versa, they’re linked cards and cannot exist separately. Unless there’s more than one Space Aspect card I guess? In which point... just one Frogs Land. I’ll see about that.

The number of rounds before the Reckoning, having or not having the Reckoning show up mandatorily, that’s still stuff I’ve got to work out when the game is in a more advanced state. Right now the idea is that every X rounds (5 maybe?) you flip over a Doom Card that makes your Session more and more fucked up, so if you want to win you’ve gotta hurry up.

The Bulk of the Game

This is the stage most of the action will happen in. Once everyone has the cards they need and they know their Role in the Session, the game is divided in Rounds. Everyone has 1 Turn per Round, in order, and they can do any and all of the following during their Turn:

Draw an Action Card: Self-explanatory, everyone draws an Action Card at the start of their turns.

Use an Action Card/Equip Loot: You may only Equip new items during your Turn. While some Action Cards are restricted to use in your Turn, there are other Actions and Consumables that will be labelled as Instantaneous. If someone, say, tries to attack you, you may use an Action Card that nullifies this Action and prevent the Strife. Or you may use an Instant Action that powers up an enemy someone’s Strifing at any point. The idea right now is that you can use any number of Instant Actions to respond to things happening to you outside of your Turn, but you can only use 1 Instant Action to directly affect another Player per Round. We’ll see how this goes though.

Buy: You may access the Consort Shops of your Land at any point during the game. If a Land has a bonus for the shop, only the owner of the Land can get the bonus. You may also spend your Currency to buy things for other people. You can buy a variety of things from the Shops- A Loot Card (At the cost of 5 Currency), Treasures (Exchanged for 5 Loot Cards), Miracles (Exchanged for 5 Action Cards), Gates (Bought for 10 Currency each. Until you have both halves of your Land Title, you can only buy one. They allow you to interact with the next Player and their Land, and work the same as in Homestuck- 2 Gates will let you access the Player 2 turns away, if you have 1 Gate and the next Player also has 1 Gate, you can effectively reach the Player 2 turns away too. You need 7, or the ability to fly, to go face the Denizen), Dersite Transportalizers (A one-time purchase for the whole Session, it costs 50 Currency and allows travel to Derse to face off against the Black Queen. Derse can also be accessed with Flight), the Genesis Machina (Only available for the Space Player’s Land. A one-time, 50 Currency Purchase too, representing the Frog Breeding, Battlefield Drill and the Grist Rigs to shoot the Hoards into Skaia. May be only available after Stoking the Forge? Still gotta parse how this would work), and the Alchemy Sigil (Each Sigil costs 10 Currency. It allows you to stack weapons and equipment on top of each other to become more powerful).

Explore your Land: You can draw a Strife Card and see what the encounter has in store for you. It may be a positive or negative effect, like falling down and getting damaged or finding loot randomly, but it could also be an enemy! If an Enemy appears, a Strife is initiated. So far the combat systems I have in mind is a simple dice roll. The enemies will have power and buffs from Sprite Prototypings, and you will have power from the equipment. Both you and the Imp roll a d8. Whoever has the highest roll + power deals 1 unit of damage. If the roll is twice someone else’s roll, you deal 2 damage. If it’s three times as high, it’s an instant KO, Overkill (To prevent low-level enemies from being a nuisance). Repeat the dice rolling until the Enemy or the Player are dead. I may have to make it be triple and then quadruple if I see that’s a bit too OP. You can also Flee at any point by taking 1 unit of damage.

Fight Another Player: If you can reach their Land, you can Fight another Player. But unlike a normal Strife, a Strife with a Player will be just a turn of a Strife, to prevent someone from immediately killing someone else at the start of the game. You can also likely not Overkill a Player, that may be unfair too.

And the Rounds keep going as people plan their next move- Maybe someone’s a Horrorterror Emissary that’s been helping their friends all game, but now that someone’s about to die they use an Instant Action to power up the Underling and get them killed! Or maybe the Space Player is a Lord English cultist and refuses to buy the Genesis Machina, forcing someone else to spend their hard earned Currency to buy it themselves so that the game can be completed! The idea is that, not knowing other people’s Roles, their Goals are obscured and you have to trust others or rely on trickery and betrayal to attain what you want.

By default, you can die Once, with your Dreamself counting as an Extra Life. Whether you have to be kissed by another Player or not to wake up as your Dreamself though, we’ll see if it’d make the mechanic dumb or not.

A few things of note: There are three special kinds of Action Card that may help make or break a Session.

Prototyping Action: Everyone loves Sprites in Homestuck! Prototyping Actions are required to Prototype your Kernelsprite. Your First Prototyping will affect the Underlings, your Second won’t- Unless someone plays a ‘Double Prototyping’ Action, which will have both Tiers affect Underlings and Royalty. The Sprite’s power is added to your Character’s Power, and they count as an Extra Life- If you die, the Sprite will sacrifice itself for you. I’m thinking you may also be able to toss a Dead Player in a Sprite, bringing them back into the game with the bonuses of whatever was prototyped, but we’ll see how viable is that. Using 1 Prototyping Card will let your Prototype some Loot in your hand, or take the first Loot card on the deck (That’s prototypable) and Prototype it. Using 2 Prototyping Cards will let you look at the first 5 Cards on the Loot Deck and choose which one you want to Prototype. It will also let you Prototype someone’s Sprite, as long as you can reach their Land, with a card on your hand. Using 3 Prototyping Cards will let you prototype a Treasure to any Sprite you can reach, including your own, or toss a dead Player into a Tier 2 Slot of any Sprite, effectively nullifying that Player’s Sprite but bringing the dead Player back into the game.

Terraforming Action: The same as Prototyping Actions, but for your Lands. Using 1 Terraforming Card will force you to get the first Land Card on the deck and use it to complete your Land. Using 2 Terraforming Cards will let you draw the first 5 Cards of the Land Deck and get whichever you want, or force the first Card of the Land Deck onto an adjacent Player’s Land. Using 3 Terraforming Cards will let you go through the entire Deck and choose the Land you want, or to force the First Land on the Deck on any Player’s empty Land slot.

Ascension Action: Similar to Prototyping and Terraforming, but for going God Tier. You can only use the Ascension if you’ve found and equipped a Class and an Aspect. Going God Tier will give you benefits listed on the Class and Aspect Cards, and Deaths to anything other than other Players or Bosses will simply end the Strife and keep you with 1 Health. Using 1 Ascension Card lets you ascend to God Tier, as long as you have an Extra Life to spare. Ascending will get rid of this Extra Life, of course. Using 2 Ascension Cards will allow you to Ascend in the Moon Crypt, letting you reach God Tier even if you don’t have Extra Lives. You can also use 2 Cards to bring a Dead Player to their Quest Bed- As long as you can reach their Land and they had 1 Life to Spare (This may be changed if the Kiss Mechanic is not implemented). Using 3 Ascension Cards will let you Ascend a Dead Player you can reach, even without the Spare Lives. You can also hold onto them after Death, and use the 3 Ascension Cards to get back into the Game after everyone thought you were Dead for good. If someone tries to loot your body, you may Ascend and prevent this from happening.

The Endgame

After messing around, betraying, Ascending and Descending and facing off against the bullshit your friends are pulling on you, the game will eventually End. There are Four Ways for the game to End.

Tumor: If the Reckoning happens and the Game isn’t won before it ends, the Tumor will detonate and end the Session. No Card or God Tier can prevent this. There may be a Miracle that lets you steal the Tumor though, at which point the Tumor will be a Hot Potato Bomb that will kill whoever’s holding it for good. I may not implement this if it’s too easy to get rid of the Tumor though.

Last Man Standing: The game may end if there’s only one Player left alive, and they decide to end the game then.

Everyone’s Dead: Likewise, if no one survives a Boss Fight and can’t come back in any way, the game obviously ends.

Successful Session: This should be the Ending most Players want to attain. The Black Royalty must’ve been defeated- The Black King to save the Battlefield, the Black Queen to get the Rings. The Genesis Machina must’ve been bought. And whoever is holding the Rings must have access to the Space Player Land, and be willing to toss them into the Forge. Only then will the Genesis Frog be created, and the Game end for good.

To face off against the Black Queen, you need the Dersite Transportalizer, or Flight. To face off against the Black King, you need to have defeated at least Half of the Denizens of the Session, either Strifing them, or doing their Choice, and maybe he can only be reached by those who are God Tier or have Flight? I will have to iron some stuff here.

To face off against the Denizen, you need 7 Gates, or Flight. With Flight or after getting 7 Gates, you may go confront your Denizen at any point during your Turn. This will count as ‘Exploring your Land’ and prevent you from Exploring. The first time you face against the Denizen, you will draw it from the Boss Deck to see what Denizen you have. You may choose to Fight him, to Do the Choice if you’re able to, or Leave. Leaving has no penalty except for certain specific Denizens, other than having wasted your Land Exploring this turn, so you can just visit your Denizen to know what you have to do in order to Choice their ass. Anyone can face off against anyone’s Denizen- But they cannot do their Choice. 

Denizen Battles and Battles with Dersite Agents are 1v1s. Fleeing one of these Fights will always leave you with 1 HP- Unless you already only had 1 HP left, in which case you cannot flee (Or you will die).

The Black Queen and Black King fights are Session-wide, though. Everyone capable of Fighting them can choose to enter the Strife. These fights cannot be fled until either the Boss or everyone fighting the Boss is dead. Everyone will roll and add their power together to fight these Bosses. If even combining everyone’s power, the Boss rolls higher than them, whoever rolled the lowest (Multiple people in case of a tie) will get damaged.

Fighting Bosses, powering up enemies, refusing to fight certain bosses, attacking other players, hoarding Treasures and Miracles, drawing Doom Cards, the idea of the SBURB Game is to build up that sense of trying to win a Session and become Gods of their own Universe, while also adding the many ways a Session can go utterly and absolutely wrong, and with the card drawing being random, it really gives that sense that every Session is unique in their own way!

Obviously, once the Game ends, everyone rolls their Roles over, and check who won. Who knows, maybe the Lord English Cultist sabotaged the Session- But it was the Horrorterror Emissaries that managed to score higher. Or maybe the Session was won, just barely, but it’s the Megalomaniac that got everything to go just how they had planned, winning in the process. Or maybe it will be the Wildcard, who no one even knew what they were doing during the Game, who scored the highest just by being a whimsical asshole.

I’ve got a lot more to work on, and I don’t even know if it will be fun! But. Yeah these are the rules I have set up so far.

[themori-witch]

Scrying [Witchcraft 101]

What is Scrying?

I know it looks like a typo and what’s really happening, is that we’ve actually been crying as a community, but alas no; “scrying” is a legitimate and archaic form of divination.

Let’s check out the definition of it via Google:

scryskrʌɪ/ verb

gerund or present participle: scrying

Foretell the future using a crystal ball or other reflective object or surface. “A mirror used for scrying”.

Okay, so Google did pretty well this time and have hit the nail smack on the head with this definition.  Scrying is the act of gazing at a reflective surface and using any symbols that may appear as a way of garnering advice, or foretelling the outcome of certain forthcoming situations, circumstances, and choices.

Types of Scrying:

The Crystal Ball

This is the one you’ll see all the fortune tellers with a multitude of rings and long nails use in the movies. It’s the method with the most flair and dramatic air about it, and is used a lot in the media by characters who are tied to mysticism. 

In reality, gazing into a clouded glass or crystal (like Obsidian) ball to obtain information about forthcoming events, or unknown aspects of the present has been done for thousands of years (probably). 

Mirror Scrying

Mirrors are the most practical form of scrying, particularly in the modern age when lots of us carry compacts or small mirrors in our bags or pockets on a daily basis.

Mirror scrying is usually done on a mirror that has a black backing to it as that makes for a better reflective surface and thus, a better experience when looking for symbols and signs within the mirror. You should keep your query in mind as you stare and see what is revealed to you. You can buy ready-made scrying mirrors, but it’s also incredibly easy to make your own [click [X] or [X] or [X] for more info on that!].

Fire Scrying

Fire scrying is exactly what it says on the tin - staring into a flame to see what symbols and visions may present themselves to you.

When you scry with fire, you should take note of the movement of the flames and keep an eye out for repeated shapes and patterns, because whilst some people may see clear images, others may see shapes, or flashes or shadows.

Water Scrying

Much like fire scrying, this is what it says it is: using water to scry.

Some people use large bodies of water like lakes and oceans and incorporate the moon into their practise of this method, whilst some people prefer to use a small bowl of water and just employ the sitting-and-staring thing. Sometimes, people will use bowls that are made of crystal, or bowls that have a gloss on them to heighten the reflectivity. Some people will allow themselves to go into a trance-like state before scrying this way.

How to Scry:

Okay, so naturally the first step you’re going to want to take is deciding on which medium you’re going to use to scry! You don’t have to pick one now and stick with it forever - nothing stops you from experimenting with each method if that’s what you want to do.

Let’s go through it in steps.

Step 1: Find somewhere quiet, where you are unlikely to be disturbed.

If you want to, and if you think that it will help you, set up your surroundings so that you can fall into a relaxed and almost trance like state. For some, this may mean dimming the lights and putting on some sobering music. For others, it may be throwing open the curtains, letting the sunlight in and listening to birdsong - each to their own.

If you are familiar with meditating and meditation, think of it as a process just like that; you’ll want to reach a point of calmness before you scry. It’ll make the process a lot easier on you, as a skittish or burdened mind is a mind lacking clarity.

Stage 2: Why are you scrying? What is your intent?

You’ll have seen intent mentioned in a lot of spiritual/witchcraft posts because it’s a core concept in our work. It plays into scrying as well, because if you have a set reason for doing this, you’re more likely to find the answers you seek.

You know how we say that when you’re crafting a sigil you should write out a sentence that clearly states the intent behind the sigil? Well, doing something like that here might be a good idea, if only to make this whole thing easier on you. Think of it this way: it’s easier to accomplish something if you know what the fuck you’re trying to do, right?

Stage 3: Stare.

Now it’s time to stare. Yes, you heard me right. Sit back (or lean forward if you need to - it was just a figure of speech) and gaze into your chosen medium. 

You should be aware, that it is likely you will fall deeper into a trance-like state when you do this and you may end up spending more time scrying than you had intended to. That particular situation has happened to most of us - you start scrying whilst the sun is out and finish in the middle of the night. 

After some time, images may begin to show themselves. You may see shapes, shadows; silhouettes. You may see vivid flashes or blurry vague images; some people report seeing things in an almost dream-like manner; hazy and vague, and ambiguous. 

In some cases people have reported that whilst they scry, dates, times and locations come to mind that are relevant to the query they have bore in mind during their divination session.

Remember to try and not force yourself to see things if they are not there. Let it happen organically. If you’re in a relaxed and trance-like state, you won’t be able to force yourself to see things in the water, mirror, water or flame.

Once you’ve finished scrying, if you have the energy left to do so, you may want to write down how everything went! Write the medium you used, what you saw, what you were asking about/wanting insight into, and what the symbols may mean. 

This will help you interpret and clarify things, and it will also be a useful tool in learning and growing within this form of divination.

Some Tips:

At first you may be afraid of seeing things, or afraid of what you may see. That’s okay. It’s normal to be apprehensive when you’re looking for insight into the unknown. If you want to know something, I still sometimes get a little nervous when I’m doing any kind of divination because when you’re asking for answers or guidance on something that’s not entirely clear, you can never be sure that you’re going to like the answers you get. 

One way to combat this, is to prepare yourself before you dive in. Take some time to reflect on why you’re doing what you’re doing. Doing this may settle your nerves because you’re not going in blind.  Other ways include:

Grounding: grounding is the act of centering yourself by feeling connected to the physical world in some form or another. By recognising this, you are less likely to feel drained and may in fact feel like your might in steeled somewhat (that’s what it does for me! If I take time to feel my surroundings and recognise that I am tied to the solidity of this world, I feel stronger and more resilient.) *Links: Grounding Visualisations ✧ Grounding/Meditation Chant ✧ Grounding ✧ Grounding Techniques

Remind yourself that when you see images or symbols, this is a good thing and you’re not going mad. I know that may sound silly, but for first time scry-ers actually seeing something is scary because often a small part of you thinks this is hokum and you won’t actually see anything tangible.  It may help if you sit down, take a few deep breaths and say to yourself over and over as a sort of affirmation, something along the lines of: “I will images, shapes, visions of what I need to see in the flame/water/fire/mirror/crystal, and I will not be afraid.”

If you need to, prepare a sigil or incantation, or some small form of magick to make yourself feel more comfortable.  There’s no shame in needing or wanting to do so. I have used a sigil before divination before to calm my nerves. It’s a valid thing to do and want to do.

[hedonistink]

Title: Dead Boy Walking Fandom: Voltron Pairing: Sheith Rating: Explicit Additional Tags: Sheith Big Bang, HS AU, Blasphemy, Consensual Undereage Sex, Religious Guilt, Unsafe Sex, Coming Out

Fic Summary: Objectively, Keith Kogane should have had exactly zero shot at someone like Takashi Shirogane. The guy was a complete overachiever, a twelfth grade honour student, star of the football team, and overall Good Catholic Boy right down to the purity ring adorning his finger. But Keith couldn't get him out of his head. Ever since the guy had stuck up for Keith when he was being hassled for being gay by some kids on the basketball team, Keith had just found Shiro fascinating. And… Shiro seemed to like him, seemed to like talking to him, didn't seem anything like the other guys and girls in that little pretentious chastity circle. So fuck it, right? You never know until you try, right? Well, Keith was damn sure going to try.

Oh boy this fic has been an adventure. So,  once upon a time, a great many months ago, I was listening to Dead Girl Walking from the Heathers soundtrack and this idea popped into my head. One very short idea jamming session later, I shoved it into my google doc of ideas and forgot about it. Then the @sheithbigbang rolled around. And I decided to dig this concept out, dust it off, and turn it into this.

Special thanks to Bel for beta'ing this. Special thanks to my artists for blessing my eyeballs with their quality content and for their patience in working with my space case timeline.

Art by the lovely Uni on his blog here: https://oneveryhornyunicorn.tumblr.com/post/177875754443/dead-boy-walking-by-hedonistink-objectively

There was no way Keith had a chance. Not with Takashi Shirogane. The dude was the poster child of best behaviour. He was the literal top of his class overachiever honor student purity ring-wearing Catholic boy. He went to youth group after church every Sunday for years and now he taught the thing. From what Keith had heard, the guy barely ever even kissed his cheerleader girlfriends. He probably couldn't even masturbate without Catholic Guilt.

Objectively speaking, Keith should have had exactly zero shot at Takashi Shirogane. So why was he marching across the guy's lawn and debating climbing his trellis at well past eleven at night?

Well, because sometimes you just have to go for it.

That, and the fact that there was a very good chance on Monday he was going to be expelled. There was a 'disciplinary meeting' scheduled for him and with how many times he'd gotten in trouble already, it would be a fucking miracle if they gave him another shot. But so what? So he would be sent to some kind of correctional school to try to turn him into a 'functional and successful' member of society.

So maybe, just maybe, he wanted to prove just how fucked up 'functional and successful' society was. And if he could screw his crush in the process, well that would just prove he didn't need to prove himself to them because they were just as fucked up as he was.

He had a countdown clock on his head but that didn't mean he was going down without a fight.

Thirty hours to live, how shall I spend them?

The lyric blasting through Keith's earbuds fueled his motivation and his dedication to his cause.

It wasn't like he didn't know where Shiro lived. More than a few parties had happened at the Shirogane house. Sure, he'd never been the one to technically *throw* the parties as far as Keith had heard but his parents were frequently out of town and his girlfriends 'decided' that Shiro was going to host.

Keith wondered if they only did it hoping to get him drunk and take his v-card. Idiots. They didn't know a damn thing about Shiro if that's what they thought.

Keith's plan was far more simple than that. Takashi Shirogane was a good guy, a kind man, and Keith had suffered from holding a torch for the guy for well over a year since he was a fourteen year old freshman and Shiro had stepped in on his behalf to tell some jerks to back off of harassing him.

Now he was two years older, fresh on the other side of his sixteenth birthday, and determined to seduce the most unattainable guy in school, and a senior, at that, not to mention… straight. But hey, an ass was an ass, right? It wasn't like he needed to date the guy—nice as that would be, Keith wasn't totally delusional to think that Shiro would be into him like that. He was straight. And that was fine. But at least Keith could be his first.

If tonight went the way he hoped it would.

Continue reading on AO3!

Second plug to check out the awesome art here: https://oneveryhornyunicorn.tumblr.com/post/177875754443/

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