#of course angsty stuff motivates me to write

[lazy-ahh]

It would be cool if you wrote something for maskless mark x kryptonian!malereader

(YOU WERE) MY HOME

pairing maskless! mark grayson x (kryptonian) male reader

you memorized the exact shade of brown in mark’s eyes. the way his laugh crinkles his nose. how his hands always tremble after a fight. he memorized the way your body went limp in his arms when the kryptonite hit. how your blood looked smeared across his suit. the exact second your heartbeat stopped. (he’s not your mark. but when he kisses you like he’s drowning, you let him.)

taglist @hhoneylemon , @queermaeda , @yujensstuff , @thebatsgreatestfailure , @roryroro

your earliest memory is fire—not the gentle kind, not the warm glow of a hearth, but the violent, screaming kind. the kind that eats metal and flesh alike as your family’s ship tore itself apart in earth’s atmosphere, the heat so intense you could feel it searing your skin even through your crash harness. the scent of burning circuits and something darker, something organic—your parents, still strapped into their seats, their bodies limp and wrong in ways your child-mind couldn’t name but understood instinctively. you remember the way your throat burned from screaming, the way your fingers trembled as you clawed through twisted wreckage, your tiny hands slick with ash and something wet that wasn’t yours. then—cold grass beneath your palms, the shock of it against your skin as you collapsed in a stranger’s backyard, the night air biting at your tear-streaked face. you didn’t know where you were. you didn’t know if you were dying. you just knew you were alone.

until you weren’t.

a boy—messy-haired, pajama-clad, eyes wide with curiosity instead of fear—peered down at you like you were the most incredible thing he’d ever seen. "whoa," mark whispered, voice hushed with awe, as if you were a fallen star instead of something broken. "are you an alien?" you didn’t answer. you couldn’t. your voice was lost somewhere between the wreckage and the weight pressing against your chest, but it didn’t matter because mark didn’t wait for one. he just reached out, small fingers brushing your arm like you were something precious, and you shattered. you clung to him, shaking, gasping, and he held you back without hesitation, his arms tight around your shoulders like he already knew you needed to be held together. neither of you understood what had happened—you were both just kids, too young for death, too young for the weight of the universe—but mark didn’t need to understand to be kind. he whispered soft, clumsy reassurances against your hair, rubbed your back in slow circles the way his mother did for him when he cried, his voice wobbling but determined. "it’s okay," he kept saying, even though it wasn’t, even though it would never be okay again. "i got you."

mark always had good intentions.

after that night, you were never alone again. the grayson household wrapped around you like a second skin—debbie’s gentle hands guiding you through human meals that tasted too rich, too warm compared to the nutrient packs from your ship. nolan’s steady voice explaining earth’s customs with patient amusement when you stared too long at things like skyscrapers or television. and mark—always mark—dragging you into his world with both hands, insisting you share his bed when the unfamiliar silence of your new room kept you awake. the mattress was too soft, nothing like the firm sleep-pods you were raised in, but mark’s presence beside you, his quiet snoring, made it feel like home.

cecil came later, all sharp suits and sharper eyes, but his grip on your shoulder was firm, not cruel, when he signed the adoption papers. you even remember cecil's expression softening a tiny bit when you finally mustered up the courage to look up at him. "you’re special, kid. you could do a lot of good in this world." he’d said, and you didn’t realize then how much that would cost you. the training was brutal—learning to control the way your fists could shatter concrete, how your vision blurred red-gold when anger spiked too hot in your chest—but you endured it. not because you cared about being a hero, but because nolan had quietly told both you and mark that he would inherit powers one day. and mark? mark already dreamed of it. of soaring through skies, of saving people with that bright, fearless grin of his. "we’ll be unstoppable," he’d say, bumping his shoulder against yours, and you’d nod, because all you ever wanted was to stand beside him.

you remember the little things most: the way mark split his peanut butter sandwiches with you in the cafeteria when you couldn’t stomach the school’s mystery meat. how he’d sneak you onto the roof at night, pointing out constellations he’d misname on purpose just to hear you laugh and correct him. the winter your fingers went numb during a snowball fight, and mark—without hesitation—pulled off his gloves and pressed your hands between his own, blowing warm air onto your skin until the feeling returned. "better?" he’d asked, cheeks pink from cold, breath fogging between you. you lied and said yes, even though your chest ached in a way that had nothing to do with the weather.

and then there were the bigger moments: the first time you flew together, mark whooping as he clung to your back, his laughter vibrating against your spine. the way he’d look at you after messy, early missions—bloodied but triumphant, grinning like you’d hung the stars yourselves.

somewhere between stolen lunches and whispered secrets, between scraped knees and shared victories, you fell in love. not all at once, but slowly, inevitably, like gravity pulling you into orbit around him—helpless, hopeless, a collision course written in the stars. and the cruelest part? you never even tried to stop it.

you memorized the shape of his name like a prayer, the syllables curling soft and reverent against your tongue every time you almost said it: i love you, i love you, i love you. it lingered in the spaces between your ribs, ached behind your teeth, spilled into every quiet gesture you couldn’t stop yourself from making. the way you’d fix his suit after battles, fingers lingering a second too long on the fabric stretched over his shoulders. how you’d always bring him his favorite snack after patrol, even when he forgot to ask. the nights you stayed up late just to listen to him ramble about his day, your chest so full it threatened to crack open.

you were brave in every way that mattered—except one. the words never made it past your lips, because you knew. you knew. mark liked girls. loved them, even. the way his eyes followed amber in the hallways, the soft, dazed smile he’d get when eve laughed. you watched it all with a hollow kind of hunger, wondering if maybe—maybe—you could be the exception. if his hands, so careful when they patched up your wounds, might one day cradle your face instead. if his laughter, bright and endless, might one day be yours in a way that wasn’t just friendship.

(you remember one night, the two of you tangled together on the couch after a movie, his head lolling sleepily against your shoulder. your breath caught, heart pounding so loud you were sure he could hear it. this is enough, you told yourself. this has to be enough. but then he shifted, his lips brushing accidentally against the curve of your neck, and for one delirious second, you let yourself hope.

he didn’t even notice. just yawned and mumbled, "g’night, dude," like you hadn’t just short-circuited entirely.)

you never overstepped. never pushed. you loved him too much for that. so you stayed—always giving, always there, hands outstretched but never grasping. and mark? mark never pulled away. never acted uncomfortable. just smiled at you like you were his favorite person in the world (and you were, just not in the way you wanted).

sometimes, you wondered if that was worse.

but of course, ever the giver, you stayed. continued to pour yourself into the spaces between his broken pieces after nolan left him shattered across that mountain. held ice packs to his bruises when his healing factor was too slow, stayed awake through his nightmares when the memories of his father's fists became too loud. every life he couldn't save weighed on him like stones in his pockets, and you? you became the water that buoyed him up, whispering "it wasn't your fault" into the hollow of his collarbone when he shook apart in your arms. and when he'd look at you afterward—eyes wet with gratitude and something unreadable but familiar, mouth soft with something you didn't dare name—you let yourself pretend, just for a second, that it meant more.

but then the drift began. slow, like the tide pulling back from shore—that subtle, inevitable retreat you didn't notice until you were already standing on damp sand, wondering when the water had gotten so far away. you told yourself it was fine. normal. that this was just what happened when two people grew up and became heroes, when the weight of the world settled across their shoulders like second capes. mark was drowning in responsibilities, just like you were—global crises that left blood under your fingernails for days, collateral damage measured in broken buildings and broken families, cecil's ever-growing demands that came with that particular tilt of his head that meant refusal wasn't an option.

you'd see mark across crowded briefing rooms, the shadows under his eyes darker each time, his shoulders tensed like he was still bracing for his father's blows. sometimes your fingers would twitch with the memory of how easily they used to fit between his shoulder blades, how he'd lean into your touch like a sunflower chasing light. but in the rare moments he surfaced for air—between missions, during stolen minutes in the guardians' lounge—he never reached for you. not like before. not with that easy, unconscious trust that used to have him slinging an arm around your neck before he'd even finished saying hello.

instead, there were new distances measured in centimeters of couch space between you, in conversations that ended just a beat too soon, in the way he'd sometimes look at you like he was trying to solve an equation written just behind your eyes. you told yourself it was the exhaustion. the trauma. the growing up. you told yourself it didn't feel like losing something you'd never really had in the first place.

(you remember that particular tuesday night with crystal clarity—the way the dim lamplight caught the exhaustion in the slope of mark's shoulders as amber's name flashed across his phone screen again, the third time in forty-seven minutes. the couch cushions dipped under his weight as he slumped against you, his forehead pressing into the junction of your neck and shoulder like he was trying to fuse himself there. you could feel the frustrated heat of his skin through your shirt, could count each uneven breath that gusted against your collarbone. "she says i'm never present," he muttered, the words cracking open like overripe fruit, all sticky vulnerability. your fingers spasmed against his back, nails leaving half-moon indents in your own palms as you fought the urge to fist your hands in his shirt and scream i'm here, i'm always here, why can't you see me? instead, you traced the familiar topography of his spine through thin fabric, your palm skating over the knobs of vertebrae you'd set back in place after countless battles. "then be present, mark," you whispered, the advice settling like powdered glass between your teeth. he never knew you'd rehearsed those exact words in your bathroom mirror that morning, watching your reflection mouth them until your expression stopped twisting into something ugly. never knew you kept a mental tally of all the times you'd talked him through his relationship problems like some masochistic saint.)

you were stupid. selfish. a fraud wearing a martyr's skin. because when mark and amber finally shattered apart—when you found him sitting on your roof outside your bedroom window in the rain, his hands shaking around a lukewarm cup of coffee you'd made him just how he liked—your grief came in layers. the first was genuine: the way your throat closed at his red-rimmed eyes, the immediate urge to fix what you couldn't. but beneath that? something rotten and hungry uncurling in your ribcage, whispering maybe now. maybe me. the shame hit like a solar flare, burning through your veins hotter than any kryptonian heat vision ever could—because even as you pulled him into a hug, even as you let him stain your shirt with tears, some treacherous part of you was already calculating if this pain of his might finally turn his gaze your way.

and then—

the words hit like a kryptonite blade between your ribs, delivered with that familiar, awkward scratch at the back of his neck that you'd always found endearing. "hey, so. eve and i. we're, uh. together." mark's grin was bashful in the way that made his left dimple appear, afternoon sunlight gilding the curve of his cheek like he was something holy. your fingers spasmed around the coffee cup—the one you'd brought him back from that paris mission last year—and you took a hurried gulp, letting the near-boiling liquid scald your tongue raw. the pain was a welcome distraction from the way your vision blurred. "that's great, man," you managed, the lie sticking like wet sand in your throat. you'd gotten good at this, at stitching your voice into something steady when everything inside you was collapsing.

he didn't notice. of course he didn't. mark never saw the way your breath hitched when he touched you, never caught you staring at the place where his t-shirt rode up when he stretched. now he was practically vibrating with the need to share, knees bouncing as he leaned forward. "she kissed me after the downtown mission," he confessed, voice dropping like you were co-conspirators in this joy. "like, right in the middle of all the rubble? and her laugh—" his fingers fluttered over his sternum, mapping the phantom flip of his heart, and you thought distantly that you could chart every fracture spreading through your own chest in real time. the ceramic mug creaked ominously in your grip, but you couldn't feel the heat anymore, couldn't feel anything except the terrible, perfect clarity of this moment: mark, glowing with happiness that wasn't yours to claim, and you, committing every detail to memory like a masochist preserving their own ruin.

(≧∇≦)ﾉ☆

the sky isn't just red—it's hemorrhaging, great arterial sprays of crimson light pulsing behind thick, choking clouds that don't move like normal clouds should. below you, the streets gape open in jagged wounds, asphalt peeling back like the skin of some massive creature trying to escape its own bones. the air isn't just smoky—it's alive with the taste of burning copper and molten steel, each breath scraping your throat raw with the ghosts of a thousand shattered lives. your cape snaps violently behind you, a desperate thing trying to flee the carnage, while your heart jackhammers against your sternum with such force you're half-afraid it'll crack through and go tumbling down into the ruins below.

chicago isn't just burning.

it's being unmade.

again.

you've seen this city broken more times than you can count—watched it crumble under alien invasions, superpowered brawls, the careless collateral damage of beings who called themselves heroes. you know the drill by now: the screaming, the sirens, the way the news cameras always zoom in too close on crying children. you've memorized earth's sick little dance of destruction and rebirth, how it always stitches itself back together with temporary scaffolds and hollow promises of "never again."

but this?

this is different.

because the figures streaking through the carnage below—the ones reducing buildings to dust and civilians and heroes alike to red smears on concrete—they all wear his face. his jawline. his messy dark hair. they move with his fighting style, shout with his voice, even bleed the same shade of red. but their eyes? their eyes are all wrong. cold and chaotic where his are warm, empty where his always held that stubborn spark of hope.

none of them are your mark.

the sky weeps fire around you as you hover above the carnage, the acrid smoke stinging your eyes worse than the truth ever could. somewhere in this nightmare of broken concrete and broken bodies, the real mark fights for his life—while you're trapped here, your lungs burning with the cruel joke of it all. that in this city of a thousand twisted copies wearing his face, the most unbearable pain wouldn't be failing to find him... but reaching for him only to grasp another hollow imitation.

you don't know where your mark is. he's probably halfway across the world by now, his arm slung protectively around eve's waist as they fight back-to-back like some perfect, seamless team. while you? you're knee-deep in rubble, using your body as a human shield between collapsing buildings and innocent civilians—always the bridesmaid, never the groom. or something like that.

the irony tastes like blood in your mouth—metallic and thick, the kind that lingers after a punch to the jaw. you’d stood like this days ago in the guardians’ headquarters, your trembling fingers digging into your palms hard enough to leave crescent-shaped indents, half-moons of desperation carved into your skin. mark had been gearing up for another mission with her, his suit clinging to his shoulders in that way that always made your throat tight. his gloves smelled like ozone and sweat when you grabbed his wrist, stopping him mid-motion as he reached for his mask. your grip was too tight, your pulse too loud in your ears.

"you're always with her," you’d choked out, the words scraping your throat raw, tearing free like shrapnel. your voice fractured like the sidewalk now splitting beneath your feet, each crack exposing years of buried longing.

it all came tumbling out then—how you’d memorized the exact shade of brown in his eyes (warm, like earth after rain), how you’d counted every faint freckle scattered across his nose like constellations. how you’d give up your powers, your legacy, your name if it meant he’d look at you just once the way he looked at her—soft and awed, like she’d hung the stars herself. the confession burned worse than kryptonite, searing your tongue, leaving your mouth tasting like smoke and regret.

for one suspended second, mark’s face did something complicated—his lips parted like you’d punched the air from his lungs, his pupils blowing wide, dark with something unreadable before his gaze dropped to your mouth. your heart stuttered, a trapped bird slamming against your ribs.

you didn’t know why you’d said it. maybe it was the alcohol rex had shoved into your hands earlier, his smirk sharp as he’d muttered, "drink up, superboy. maybe it’ll make you stop staring at him like a kicked puppy." you’d swallowed it all down—the bitter drink, the bitter truth—and now here you were, spilling your guts like some pathetic, lovesick fool, tears pricking at the corners of your eyes.

mark had frozen like you’d hit him with kryptonite, his hands suspended in air, fingers still curled around the edge of his half-raised mask. the familiar crease between his brows deepened, his lips parting slightly—not in anger, but in dawning, terrifying comprehension. "what?" he breathed, voice barely above a whisper, and you saw it then—the exact moment realization struck. his breath hitched, his pulse visible in the jump of his throat, his gaze dropping to your mouth one again for one electrifying second before snapping back up, wide and startled.

in that suspended heartbeat between confession and consequence, you could have sworn something shifted behind his eyes—something warm and terrified and impossibly, dangerously like reciprocation. like maybe, just maybe, he’d been waiting for this too.

then the comms crackled to life with eve’s voice, bright and urgent, and whatever fragile moment existed between you shattered like the storefront windows now raining glass down around you. "mark? you there?"

he flinched like you'd caught him with his hands in the fire, his mask slipping into place with a sound that felt too final—like a coffin lid sealing shut. "we'll talk later," he muttered, but the words came out all wrong, cracked down the middle like his voice was splitting apart the same way your ribs were. you saw everything in painful clarity: the tremor in his fingers as they fumbled with his mask's edge, the way his adam's apple bobbed like he was swallowing back something thick and unsaid. then he was gone in a streak of blue and yellow, leaving you standing there with your heart ripped clean from your chest, still beating raw in your palms. you wondered if this was how icarus felt—watching the sun flee from him, knowing he'd flown too close.

you became a hero for him. learned to fly not because the sky called to you, but because it was where he lived. trained your fists to break bones only so you could be the one to set his afterwards. stood beside him through every battle, every loss, every quiet midnight where the weight of the world pressed too hard against his shoulders. always beside him. never with him. never the way you truly wanted—fingers laced together, mouths sharing breath instead of battlefield strategies.

now, as you wrench a sobbing child from collapsing rubble, their tiny fingers clutching at your collar like you're the only solid thing left in this nightmare, you wonder if that hesitation in his eyes meant he felt it too—that inexorable pull between you two, like twin stars caught in each other's gravity. or if you'd just shattered the best thing in your life for nothing more than a maybe.

a building groans nearby, its steel skeleton screaming as concrete rains down in deadly chunks. you move before you think, your body slamming into the structure with enough force to crack your spine. the impact knocks the air from your lungs, but you hold firm, muscles burning as you lower the crumbling mass inch by agonizing inch. people scramble free beneath you, their screams mixing with the distant wail of sirens. you don't have time to gasp before the shockwave hits—another explosion ripping through the street, sending you skidding backward through debris. smoke fills your mouth, your nose, your pores, but all you can taste is the ghost of his name.

that’s when you see him.

floating there like some half-remembered dream, blood painting abstract patterns across his cheekbones. but—no mask. no goggles. nothing to hide the way his face transforms when he sees you, his eyes widening like you’re the first real thing he’s seen in years. the moment his gaze lands on you, something fractures deep in your chest—not the clean break of a bone, but the slow, seismic splitting of tectonic plates—only to knit itself back together with golden thread when his lips part in quiet awe.

this mark looks at you like you’re the answer to a question he’s been asking his whole life. like you’re water after decades of drought, like you’re the first star he’s seen after being trapped in an endless night. his eyes trace your face like he’s memorizing it, like he’s trying to drink you in before you disappear again—and oh, god, the way his expression softens when he realizes it’s really you, like his entire body sighs in relief.

then he’s moving, closing the distance between you in a heartbeat, his hands coming up to cradle your face before stopping just short, trembling in the air like he’s afraid you’ll vanish once again if he touches you. "hey," he murmurs, his voice so tender it aches, the sound wrapping around you like sunlight. "it’s okay. i got you."

and suddenly you’re seven years old again, trembling in the wreckage of your pod, your tiny fingers clutching at the grass as the world spins too fast around you. you remember the warmth of mark’s small body pressing against yours, his arms tight around your shoulders like he could shield you from the entire universe if he just held on hard enough. the way he whispered, "it’s okay, it’s okay," into your hair like a prayer, his voice wobbling but sure.

this mark is looking at you with that same fierce protectiveness, that same unwavering devotion—but now it’s layered with something deeper, something older. something that makes your breath catch. he looks at you like you’re the axis his world spins around, like every scar on your body is a constellation he wants to worship. like he’s loved you in every lifetime, and will love you in every one to come.

a sob claws its way up your throat, raw and broken, because this—this is how you’ve always wanted to be seen. not as a sidekick, not as a best friend, but as the living, breathing center of someone’s universe. and here, in the middle of a burning city, with a version of mark who wears his heart as openly as he wears his scars, you finally are.

you let him carry you in his arms, let his fingers curl protectively around the back of your head as he tucks your face against the warm hollow of his neck. the wind screams past your ears as he takes off, but you don’t fight it—don’t even tense. your mission brief echoes dimly in your mind (neutralize all variants, show no mercy) but it feels distant now, drowned out by the steady thump of his pulse beneath your lips. let them see, you think hazily. let the whole world watch as he flies you away like something precious.

next thing you know, you’re perched on the edge of your bathroom sink, his hips slotting between your knees as he patches you up with practiced hands. he’d flown you high enough earlier that the sun could kiss your wounds closed, but he still fusses—dabbing antiseptic over the cuts that haven’t quite healed, his touch feather-light when you flinch. "still hurts here?" he murmurs, fingers hovering over your ribs. you nod, and he makes a soft, wounded noise in his throat before reaching for the salve.

you watch, hypnotized, as he cups the salve between his palms—the same way you've done for yourself a thousand lonely nights—letting his body heat soften it before spreading it across your aching skin. his fingers move with practiced ease, tracing the map of your wounds like he's reading braille, like every bruise and cut tells a story only he understands. "you know my place better than i do," you murmur, voice scraped raw from smoke and unshed tears.

his hands freeze mid-motion. when he lifts his gaze, his eyes are bottomless pools of ink in the dim bathroom light, swirling with emotions too complex to name. "of course i do," he breathes, the words spilling out like a confession dragged from his chest. his thumb finds the sharp angle of your hipbone, brushing once—a fleeting touch that burns hotter than any solar flare. "how could i not when i spent most of my life with you?" his voice drops to a whisper, cracking open like an eggshell. "when i spent years memorizing the way you breathe when you're hurting? the way you grit your teeth slightly when you're lying?"

the air between you grows thick, charged like the moment before lightning strikes. you can feel his pulse where his fingertips rest against your skin, rapid as a hummingbird's wings. the mirror fogs with your shared breath, obscuring your reflections until it's just this—just his hands on your body, his truths in your mouth, this fragile thing you've both been too afraid to name.

the confession lingers in the humid air between you, delicate as the steam spiraling from the faucet, as transient as the condensation tracing paths down the mirror. you ache to ask—how many realities exist where your fingers intertwine as more than friends? how many versions of himself experienced this moment with you? but then his calloused palm rises to frame your jaw, his thumb sweeping salve across your cheekbone with a tenderness that steals your voice. the medicine stings, but you'd endure a thousand cuts just to keep his hands this close.

"there," he murmurs, his breath ghosting over your skin like a summer breeze through open curtains. the scent of him—ozone and the faint metallic tang of blood—mixes with the antiseptic's sharpness. "good as new."

except you're anything but. you're a constellation of fresh wounds and ancient scars, your pulse fluttering wildly beneath your skin where your bodies press together. yet as his forehead comes to rest against yours, as his lashes brush your cheek when he blinks, the familiar ache in your chest doesn't feel like shattering.

it feels like dawn after endless night. like gravity finally pulling you into orbit. like the first full breath after years of drowning.

it feels like every cliché about home you ever rolled your eyes at—because home was never a place. it's the boy who learned your pain before he learned your favorite color, who carries the shape of your wounds in his hands like something precious.

the warmth of his hands on your skin feels like sunrise after decades of darkness—like finally breathing after being submerged too long. for one heartbeat, two, you let yourself drown in it, this dizzying sensation of being cherished, of being truly seen for the first time in your life. then reality comes crashing back like a fist to the gut, bitter and violent. this isn't your mark. can't be your mark. this is one of the invaders, the destroyers, the monsters who painted chicago's streets red with innocent blood. his hands may cradle you with familiar tenderness, but you saw what the other versons of him did to the city. what he's done too.

your muscles tense, fingers curling into fists at your sides. you should attack. should drive your fist through his chest the way cecil trained you to. should make him pay for all the lives lost today.

but then—

his lips quirk in that lopsided smile you've traced in your dreams a thousand times, the one that makes his left dimple appear just so. his eyes crinkle at the corners in that way you could recognize blindfolded, but there's something shattered in his gaze now, something ancient and grieving. "god, i missed you," he breathes, voice cracking like dry earth in a drought, like the words have been clawing their way up his throat for years. the sound of it—so raw, so painfully familiar—makes your traitorous heart stutter behind your ribs.

your breath catches. "what happened..." you swallow hard, fingers twitching at your sides. "to the me in your world?"

his face does something complicated. for a second, he just looks at you, his gaze tracing your features like he’s trying to commit them to memory all over again. then, softly: "we were together. properly, i mean." his thumb brushes your cheekbone, hesitant. "confessed to each other a year before i got my powers. it was... stupidly awkward. i tripped over my own feet trying to kiss you." a wet laugh escapes him, his eyes shining. "you laughed at me. then pulled me in by my shirt."

the image blooms in your mind—mark, younger, softer, his face burning red as he fumbles through a love confession. you can almost see it.

his expression darkens. "then the invasion happened. you fought—of course you did. even when that bastard pulled out the kryptonite." his voice cracks. "i was too hurt to move. could barely breathe. but you—you looked at me, right before..." he chokes, his hands tightening around yours. "you smiled. like you weren’t scared at all."

the sob tears through you like a supernova—violent, uncontrollable, leaving you trembling in its aftermath. before you can think, you're clutching at him with desperate hands, fingers twisting into the frayed fabric of his suit as if you could somehow stitch reality back together through sheer will alone. your knuckles press white against his ribs, nails biting into your own palms, but you can't loosen your grip. you'd crawl between dimensions yourself if it meant bringing his version of you home. because seeing him so broken like this... it just. hurts so fucking bad.

he collapses into you like a dying star, his arms locking around your waist with bruising intensity. his face presses hot and wet against the curve of your neck, his tears searing your skin as his shoulders shudder against yours. you feel the exact moment his knees give out, how his weight sinks into you—the great invincible mark grayson, brought to his knees by grief.

"we lose you... in every other dimension," he chokes out between ragged breaths, the words fracturing as they leave his lips. his fingers scramble across your back like he's memorizing your pulse points, your scars, the way your lungs expand with each shaky inhale. "and i feel so god damn jealous of the versions of me who didn't-" his voice shatters completely then, dissolving into something raw and wounded.

instinct takes over. your hands find their way into his hair, cradling his head as your thumbs sweep across his damp cheeks. "shhh, i've got you," you murmur into his temple, the same words he once whispered to a scared alien boy in his backyard. the irony tastes bitter on your tongue—how after all these years, you're still comforting each other through losses that never seem to end.

the salt on your lips could be from his tears or yours. you've lost track of who's breaking apart more violently, whose grief runs deeper. are you mourning the you he watched die? the mark who will never look at you this way in your own world? or simply the cruel joke the universe keeps playing—that in every reality, one of you is always left holding the pieces?

"please..." his voice cracks like a breaking spine as he drifts closer, hands hovering near your face but not daring to touch. his breathing comes in ragged bursts, lips trembling around each word. "come home with me." the raw need in his tone makes your stomach flip. "my dimension—it's quiet there, baby, so quiet. just us. no eve, no cecil, no him." his fingers finally brush your cheek, sticky with blood and tears. "we'll disappear somewhere where no one knows us. i'll build us a house with my bare hands. you'll plant those stupid flowers you love. we can even take a bunch of cats with us. i'll—fuck—i'll worship you like you deserve. please."

you want to. god, you want to. your traitorous body already leans into his touch, craving more of the warmth you've been starving for.

but—

"mark," you whisper, heart shattering at how his face lights up just hearing his name from your lips. "you've... you've killed people. innocent people."

he doesn't flinch. doesn't hesitate. just leans in until his forehead rests against yours, his breath coming in ragged, uneven puffs that ghost across your lips. you can smell the blood and smoke clinging to him, can feel the way his pulse races where your skin touches. "yeah," he admits, voice rough like gravel, thick with something desperate between shame and worship. "but i'd burn a thousand worlds to ashes before i let anything hurt you again." his hands slide down your sides, fingers digging into the curve of your waist hard enough to bruise as he yanks you flush against him. you can feel every hard line of his body, the way his heart hammers against his ribs where your chests press together. "i'm already damned," he murmurs, lips brushing yours with every word. "let me be damned with you."

you wince, hands coming up to push weakly at his chest. "mark, you're not mine—"

"i know," he interrupts, pressing his forehead harder against yours like he's trying to fuse your thoughts together. his voice drops to a whisper, raw and broken. "but i could be."

around you, the city burns. the air is thick with the stench of melting metal and charred flesh, the distant screams of the dying swallowed by the roar of collapsing buildings. somewhere beyond the smoke and ruin, your mark is fighting—whole, unbroken, untouched by the kind of grief that twists this version of him into something sharp and feral. somewhere, he's pulling eve close, whispering promises against her lips that taste like forever.

and here you are.

letting a ghost hold you.

this mark—this broken, beautiful monster—is on his knees for you.

you swallow hard around the lump in your throat. because despite the blood on his hands and the fire in the distance, you already know your answer.

oh my god, 6.1k words of pure, unfiltered angst and i am unwell over it. this one-shot clawed its way out of my soul like a demon possessed and i blacked out only to wake up with this masterpiece of pain?? i was absolutely feral writing this, fueled by spite, sleep deprivation, and the haunting echo of "what if mark loved him back but in the worst way possible? what if he did love him but never realised he did (but he did realise this in every other dimension except this one)?" and now here we are. sobbing. you probably thought this would be cute or wholesome. you probably thought, "oh, maskless mark? hot." AND THEN I HIT YOU WITH THE EMOTIONAL WAR CRIMES. but come on, it’s maskless mark—did you really expect anything less than soul-crushing, heart-stabbing, tear-your-ribs-open angst? be so for real. anyway, enjoy the suffering. i sure did. 😭💔

[mbbmz]

Hey again😍I took 2 nights of thinking to actually come up with ANYTHING💀 SO, Brahman Wakasa who casually hooks up with reader to release stress n stuff. But reader realizes she's catching feelings for him and doesn't want him to be with any other girl, so she confesses it to him! Could be happy or sad ending but ngl im kinda in the mood for angst😭

Hi darling! Sorry I took a while to write this I was lacking motivation A LOT lol

Also what I write is a bit different from what you described to me but the spirit is still there, I hope you’ll still like it.

Warnings : Porn with a little plot, smut, ptv sex, riding, Waka is an asshole, kinda angsty and no comfort

NSFW under the cut

Stay.

The room was filled with panting breaths and small grunts, the headboard of your bed hitting the wall every so often. It was hard to keep your eyes open, but you did, for the sole purpose of watching the man under you.

His eyes were closed, his beautiful lips parted and a small frown on his usually relaxed features. It was almost unfair how pretty he was, his eyelashes fluttering everytime your pace varied, going from slow rolls of your hips to fast, small bounces. Your hands were settled on his firm chest, trying hard not to wander and disrupt the pace you were setting. You could feel his fingers digging in your hips, sometimes trailing down to draw lazy circles on your clit, trailing up to play with your nipples before repeating the cycle again. At this point, you didn’t care where he touched you, as long as you felt his hands on you.

You met Wakasa at a bar, three, four months ago. You don’t really remember. You remember hooking up with him, though, as it was probably one of the best nights in your life. Since then, you two became sort of… friends with benefit.

It wasn’t true, and you knew it. You weren’t even his friend. You were just a hook up, a booty call.

You were fine with that, because that’s what he was to you too. Until he wasn’t. Until you started seeing him in a different light. Until you felt a small pressure in your chest every time he was getting ready to leave. Each of those times, the words ‘don’t leave’ were threading to come out of your throat. They never did.

You felt your orgasm approaching, your pace quickening as your movements got slightly shaky, stuttering from the pleasure. You could see a thin layer of sweat on his forehead, neck and chest, making him even hotter in your eyes. His fingers came to play with your clit, rubbing it up and down in an attempt to get you closer to the edge.

A low moan escaped his lips, feeling your walls fluttering, tightening around him from the movements of his index on your sensitive mound. It was a matter of a few seconds until a wave of pleasure coursed your body, your orgasm hitting you like a ton of bricks. It always did with him.

You continued moving your hips a bit more, trying to finish him off despite the sensitivity you had down there, and it paid off after a few seconds. You were both panting heavily, trying to come down of your high. Your thighs were hurting a bit, so after gaining some energy to do so, you let his softening cock leave the warmth of your body to lay down beside him, your head on his chest.

This sweet moment lasted five minutes, tops, before he started getting up. Sitting up on your bed, you watched him picking up his clothes from the floor, getting ready to leave.

-"That was cool. Thanks for lettin’ me crash here."

Cool. That was cool. Yeah, that’s exactly how you would describe too. Of course.

You felt the same usual words burning your tongue, you were running out of time. Soon he would go past that door and there would be nothing you can do about it.

-"Why don’t you… stay a bit more?.."

Your voice came out softer than what you intended. You hated it, how desperate you sounded. When you saw him looking at you, you knew he knew. You despised the way he was looking at you right now. His face was as expressionless as usual, but you could see it in his eyes. Almost like pity, but with a tinge or irritation. Like something inconvenient had happened.

-"Needa go, got somethin’ goin’ on tonight."

No goodbye, no see you around, no take care. Just silence as he walked past the door, leaving behind him a used condom, a creaking bed and a broken heart.

Late at night, curled under your blanket, your eyes were stinging a little. You should go to sleep, you had work tomorrow. Yet despite the sting of your eyes and the overwhelming tiredness, you couldn’t take your gaze off the text you sent to him. You couldn’t take off your eyes from the small red lettering next to it.

Not delivered.

[valeriancrow]

~Longing From The Heart (Venti x Electro Vision Male Reader)~

New A/N: This is a repost from like 2023 when I was into Genshin which I'm not anymore but it's still some good writing and something to start this blog with!! This is also like barely edited please bare with me! I can write better than this I swear!!

Directory | Genshin Impact Masterlist

🚫Warnings and hashtags: Venti, Rude people, cursing courtesy of [Male Name], fluff, and some other stuff.🚫

What is What: Thoughts = Italics,  The Author Speaking = (Bold and Parentheses), When a character contradicts what was said = (Parentheses), (D/n) = Dead Name, (L.Name) = Last Name, (H/c) = Hair Color, (S/C) = Skin Color,

Word Count: 2.3k words

Playlist That I Used To Write This Story: “Longing From The Heart” A Venti Fanfic 

Author's Notes: I recently got into Genshin Impact and as per usual I feel for all the angsty boys and all the girls. Sometimes I regret my choice to involve myself in these kinds of things. Also, this fanfic took a turn towards angst at the beginning but don’t worry it gets better. I have chosen third-person limited for the majority of the story except when it specified otherwise.

Venti looked at the Statue of The Seven in Windrise, his Statue, atop the tree branches there. He then looked to Mondstadt in the distance.

The City of Freedom is forever free from a governing party and rules, somewhat. Venti longed to see his lover again, but he was halfway across Teyvat. Venti didn't know when his beloved was coming home or if he ever would, just like his friend from long ago. 

[Male Name], Venti's boyfriend and soon-to-be fianceé, had been sending letters to Venti. Mainly to keep him updated about how he was doing, how Aether and Paimon were doing, and their journey so far in Inazuma. [Male Name] has an Electro Vision, and he was in the land of the God of Eternity, who was going after people who bore a Vision, which was the order of the Vision Hunt Degree. Continuing with the letters, I noticed they had suddenly and unexpectedly stopped coming. This caused Venti to worry and assume that [Male Name] got injured or died.

Meanwhile, with [Male Name]

"What do you mean 'I can't leave the ship'!!" [Male Name] yelled at the Millelith.

"The Raining Qixing has ordered not to allow anyone named '[Male Name] [L. Name]' into Liyue Harbor, no matter what they say," the Millelith responded.

"Are you fucking serious? You accidentally electrocute someone one time, and you're banished from Liyue Harbor," [Male Name] threw up his hands in exasperation, "It was one time, and he didn't even feel it!"

"I still cannot let you in."

"This is bullshit; my boyfriend is waiting for me in Mondstadt!" 

"Sorry, but you cannot go through Liyue Harbor."

"Fine. Captain! I'll pay you extra to take me to Wangshu Inn."

" Wangshu Inn? That's a little off course, but you're paying extra, so it doesn't matter too much," The Captain says; in addition, he said the price.

" That's not as much as I expected it to be," [Male Name] said while he counted out the mora and handed the Captain.

The Captain thanked [Male Name] and directed the crew to draw the anchor and set sail to Wangshu Inn.

The sun had set a few hours ago, and the night's chill had set in. [Male Name] had stayed on the deck throughout the journey to the Wangshu Inn. One of the deckhands had come to check up on him because they were worried that he had fallen asleep while standing. [Male Name] assured the deckhand he hadn't and told them they would return to work. 

He was still on the deck, looking out at his surroundings. He could never sleep, no matter how tired he was, without the calming sound of the wind. This is why he was coming back from Inazuma so soon. 

Aether had sent him back with the threat of electrocuting him to death. That was more than enough motivation for [Male Name]. He had longed to return to Venti since he stepped onto Inazuma's land. He wanted to feel his warm embrace, calloused fingers brushing through [Male Name] 's hair, his lovely voice singing about past nations rising and falling, and the smell of Windwheel Asters and Dandelion Wine combined to make Venti's unique scent. 

In [Male Name] 's haste to get out of Inazuma, he hadn't had the time to send a letter to Venti that he was coming home. Not to mention [Male Name] could already hear the earful he would get from Venti and the berating he would get from Jean and Lisa about being unable to bring back something useful.

After at least two days at sea, the boat docked at a dock near the Wangshu Inn. 

"Thank you for taking me this far," [Male Name] thanked the Captain and left for the Wangshu Inn.

After arriving at the Wangshu Inn, he walked to the elevator and rode it up to the landing area. As he walked to the Teleport Waypoint, he passed Huai'an. Huai'an waved at [Male Name] to come over to him. 

"Hello, Traveler! If you're free, could you take a look around and clear out any monster camps nearby? They wouldn't dare come near the inn itself, but guests need to get in and out, and the Millelith can't always be here." Huai'an asks.

"Uh, sorry to have to decline your commission, but I have someone eagerly awaiting my return in Mondstadt." [Male Name] responded, trying not to show his irritation.

"Ah, is that so? Oh well, I guess I'll have some other travelers to do it for me," Huai'an said.

"Good luck finding someone. I'll be taking my leave now." [Male Name] said, walking off to the Teleport Waypoint. While he walks there, he makes his way to Verr Goldet.

"Hey, Ms. Goldet!" [Male Name] says, giving a small wave.

"Hey, [Male Name]. How are you doing? Do you need a room to stay?"

"Oh, no-no. I don't need a room. Is Xiao doing okay?

"As much as an Adepti and Yaksha who's seen countless deaths can be, I'm afraid." She looks at [Male Name], "He asked about you and where you were after you didn't come to see him for a while."

"Wha! Really? And here I thought that he finds me annoying and a nuisance." [Male Name] says in disbelief.

"I know, so did I," she says, hurting [Male Name] 's pride a little "You used to come around every two months, and when you didn't come in four months, he came to me asking if I'd seen you, but I told him that my guess was as good as his."

"Hahaha! Aether had asked me to accompany him to Inumaza so he didn't have to face the Riden Shogun alone. He wasn't thinking clearly because I have an Electro vision, not a Cryo or Pyro vision. It's silly asking me to come when he knew I would propose to my boyfriend at any moment, but I had a debt to him, and he chose to cash in the debt then."

"Oh, that's sad and kinda selfish, but you are powerful for someone with such little height and wielding a Claymore."

"That might be true, and just because I rely on my strength more than my vision doesn't make a difference against enemies."

"Also, I almost forgot that he asked if anyone knew how to make your White Imperial, but even Smiley Yanxiao can't replicate it." 

"Ah, that's my version of Almond Tofu. Only a few people have that recipe, making it hard to find. Additionally, that's different from the original recipe. The original recipe called for tofu, and in Monstadt, there is only tofu if some merchants trade with Liyue merchants. So we had fish, and with me knowing a lot about fish, I knew that Tilapia was tasteless like tofu. So I substituted the tofu for Tilapia. Sorry, I info dumped."

"No, no. It's fine. Everyone needs to info dump sometimes."

"Well, I can make White Imperial for Xiao and leave a recipe," 

"Yes, please do." 

[Male Name] walked to the kitchen, pulled out the recipe, gave it to Yanxiao, and asked if he could use the stove. The answer was yes, of course. After [Male Name] cooked the White Imperial, he also cooked some Almond Tofu for the angry Adeptus. He then thanked Smiley Yanxiao and took his dishes to the top of the Wangshu Inn. 

"Hey, Xiao~! I've bought your favorite~!" [Male Name] said. When the Adeptus didn't show up, [Male Name] set the food down on the small rock formation on the balcony and proceeded to jump off the balcony, not deploying his wind glider. He wasn't scared; he knew that Xiao would catch him. If not, he deployed his glider and glided down to the ground. Fortunately, Xiao did see him and teleported back to the balcony.

"You Dumbass, your not supposed to be jumping off the balcony. You promised you wouldn't do that again after the second time I didn't come, and you jumped off." Xiao said, fuming with anger.

"Well, you didn't come and didn't respond at all, so I thought you were ignoring me, which you were, but I'm not blaming you. I went to Inumaza with Aether and a few others, not saying a word to you and the others here in Liyue."

"Sure, anyways, thank you for the food. You can go now. I know you want to return to Barbatos so I won't keep you."

"Gasp How did you know!?" [Male Name] said with fake surprise, his hand flying to his chest to make it more believable.

"I heard you talking with Huai'an," Xiao said matter of factly.

"Oh, you poor baby. I'm leaving because, as you said, I want to return to Venti. I haven't squished his cheeks in forever!" [Male Name] said, walking towards the Teleport Waypoint. "Oh, and Xiao?"

"Mm?"

"Don't ignore me again, please." 

"Sure, sure. Just get going to your husband."

"Soon to be fiancé, then husband~," He said with closed eyes, walking down the stairs.

"Same difference." [Male Name] only responded with a laugh.

[Male Name] soon reached the platform that housed the Waypoint, passing no one that would get in his way there. As soon as he arrived at the Waypoint, he touched it and had only one thought: Monstadt. Of course, since it was an approximate location, the Waypoint dropped him off at the closest Teleport Waypoint near the city.

The night was setting in fast as [Male Name] ran into Monstadt. He yelled a quick hello to Lynn and continued running to the gates, killing off one of Timmie's pigeons with his electro shot. 

Running to the entrance of Monstadt's gates, Swan and Lawrence salute the older member of the Knights of Favonius, who passes them and runs past Miles. [Male Name] then makes a straight shot to Angel's Share. When he arrives at the Angel's Share door, he bursts through the door, slowing down and saying a quick hello to Charles. [Male Name] passes Six-Fingered José, paying him and the other drunkards no mind. He runs up the second staircase taking two steps at a time. After he reaches the second floor, he spots Kaeya, Rosaria, and Diluc. Kaeya and Diluc are bickering as usual, and Rosaria is sober as can be, looking at Kaeya disappointingly. 

"Kaeya, get out. You've had enough to drink, and I want you out."

"But Diluc~! I'm not hic finished my drink hic" Kaeya slurs out.

"Kaeya. Stop it. It would be best if you went home. Diluc, I'll take him home." Rosaria said, looking very displeased at Kaeya's actions to get this drunk. Diluc just nodded in response. [Male Name] made his way over to where the trio was. 

"Um, Diluc? I noticed that Venti isn't here. Do you have any idea where he might be?" [Male Name] asked Diluc, who looked surprised at his presence. 

"I thought you were supposed to be in Inazuma?" He said, looking confused.

"Yes, but Aether sent me back with the threat of being electrocuted to death." [Male Name] stated.

"Ah."

"Yep. I don't want to die yet."

"Well, *hic*, he hasn't been coming to the tavern *hic* very often anymore," Kaeya said, sitting down with Rosaria as she hadn't gotten up yet to take him home.

"That's strange…" [Male Name] said.

"I have an idea where he might be," Rosaria said.

"And where could-. Never mind, I know where he is." [Male Name] said, finally remembering where Venti would go if he wanted to be alone or listen to the breeze- The Symbol of Monstadt's hero, as Venti calls it. 

[Male Name] left the Tavern without even saying goodbye to the others, running out the door to where the random Fatui diplomats stood all the time and to where the Teleport Waypoint was. He touched the Waypoint and thought of the Statue of the Seven in Windrise. As quickly as he thought of the Statue, he was teleported there. 

[Male Name] looked around to find Venti asleep in the tree on one of the highest branches. 'How was that position even comfortable?' [Male Name] thought. He would never know. 

"Oh, Venti, baby. What am I going to do with you" [Male Name] said, looking at the sleeping male in the tree. The smaller male sighed and started climbing the tree to where Venti was.

After reaching him, [Male Name] caught his breath and picked Venti up. Venti woke up groggy and hugged [Male Name] 's neck. 

"Hey baby, wake up, darling." [Male Name] said in a soft voice.

"Mm~ noo~ Give me five more minutes."

"Venti, baby. I need you to stop squirming, or you'll fall." That woke him up. He stopped moving immediately and stayed still till [Male Name] reached the ground. Venti hopped out of [Male Name] 's arms and pulled the short man into a kiss. It was a passionate kiss full of love and longing that would make both of them never want to leave the other for so long again.

"Venti," [Male Name] said after he pulled away from the kiss to get air. Then he got on one knee and produced a small black box with gold and cyan details on the outside. "Will you marry me, Venti, my beloved?" The ring was gold, and Cor Lapis adorned it.

"Yes, yes, yes, yes!" Venti says, jumping and pulling [Male Name] to his feet. "I also got a ring for you." He says, taking [Male Name] 's hand and sliding a ring on his finger. Said ring was silver with Magical Crystals adorning the top of the ring. "I hope you like it, my sweet Cecilia flower,"

"Veeeennnnttiiii~!! I thought I told you I don't like being called that."

"Ehe~!" was the only response [Male Name] got before Venti took off to Mondstadt. Even though he knew that [Male Name] could catch up instantly with him if he pleased. 

"COME HERE, YOU LITTLE SHIT!!!" was the only thing heard throughout Windrise.

credit for first banner: @animatedglittergraphics-n-more

credit for second banner: @sisterlucifergraphics

credit for third banner: @cafekitsune

Directory

~Valerian

[choccy-milky]

A few months back, I asked if it was okay to write using Clora and Seb. Finished the work - thought I'd lost it on my hard drive and a virus scan located it.

Not sure if it's sad or happy, but the basic premise of it is Clora getting frustrated/upset at Sebastian and Sebastian comforting her, Sebastian getting upset at a predicament Clora's in and Clora comforting him, and them both getting frustrated/upset and having to comfort each other.

If you'd rather I didn't post it, that's fine too, but just wanted to test the waters and double check that you'd be okay with it if I gifted it to you via AO3, or see if you wanted a sneak peak of it before posting it.

OMG im so happy you were able to find it and recover the work you did!!😭🙏 AND YES OF COURSE YOU CAN POST IT AAA I CANT WAIT TO READ IT!! you can DM it to me first if you want, but i also dont mind if you post it straight away on ao3!! IM LOOKING FORWARD TO IT SM AAARGHHHA💖💖💖IT SOUNDS ANGSTY WE LOVE THE HURT/COMFORT I HOPE MY HEART CAN HANDLE IT🥺💖💖TY AGAIN FOR USING CLORA AND SEB AND TAKING THE TIME TO WRITE SOMETHING ABOUT THEM😭

@sunshine-goblin AAA THANK YOU!!! im honoured its your fav fanfic AND ALSO THE LONGEST YOUVE READ BAHAHAA fr, when you say its as long as four books in lotr it rly makes me realize how insane i am😃👍 aw IM GLAD I COULD INSPIRE YOU TO DRAW MORE AND WRITE AS WELL😭 I was curious so i creeped you and everyone go look at their HL blog @sunshines-legacy your MC is so cute and so is your art🥹💖 as for tips on writing a longfic and brainstorming and motivation and stuff, my motivation was my brainrot and unhappiness with the canon story/ending LMAOO, and looking at the story of the game and playing around with what i was unhappy with/what i WISHED could have happened instead, was a lot easier than just coming up with plotlines from scratch. but something i highly recommend is just OUTLINING and making a timeline, one of my fav parts of writing was just putting on some cafe ambience in the background and doing stream of conscious type word documents where id just barf ideas and then worry about making it pretty later....like look at how many versions of the same chapter i have BAHAHA or like different renditions bc i couldnt decide if id wanna keep a scene/what order, so id make a timeline and keep smoothing things out until i was happy with it and whatnot

brainstorming is defs my fav part of the process and the most helpful part to me. just getting a blank document and writing stuff you want to happen without worrying about how it connects to the story, and then a lot of the times as i was doing that id just keep going and it would kinda tie itself together/id come up with a solution as i was writing / once the ideas kept flowing. so basically : TIMELINES AND OUTLINES I VERY MUCH RECOMMEND, but very low pressure and barebones ones. for example, this is what my outlines/brainstorming look like

its honestly just me talking to myself LMAO, and a lot of the time ill interject and be like "OH YEAH AND THEN THIS CAN HAPPEN" as the ideas come while im writing BAHAHA. its a super fun process and honestly nothing feels better than just getting hit with that flash of inspo, and since its all very low effort theres no pressure to actually write well and its just a chill fun time AND GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR OWN PROCESS / WRITING💖💖💖it can be difficult but HOPE U HAVE FUN TOO💖💖

@a-little-lysdexic WAIT REALLY?? LMFAOO OMG THATS CRAZY....SAME BRAIN...🤝🤝...that would trip me up so much if i were you omg BAHHAHA but aside from having similar tastes in names, IM GLAD YOU LIKE MY ART AS WELL, TYY💖💖💖

THANK YOUUU im glad you're liking it!!! and that its taking over your life BAHAHA💖💖 the video you're thinking of was by @silverxstardust for chapter 13 of my fic, and you can watch the video here! (AND TY AGAIN TO SILVERXSTARDUST FOR DOING THIS!)

[princessofgotham777]

Dating Jason Todd (Part Five)

fanfic type: angst, fluff, comfort (ongoing)

If you liked the Titans show but wish they handled Jason’s story line differently you might like this fic!

Hey so this is in fact my first time writing fanfiction (idk what my life has come to). Sorry if it’s cringy but also I would eat this up cause I LOVE some good angsty comfort fanfiction. I won’t write smut. I don’t think I’m gonna do requests but if you have any ideas feel free to let me know. Also of course I don’t own any DC characters this is purely fanfiction. Although I’ve had tumblr for a bit I’m not really used to posting stuff so sorry if I don’t format everything well. Thank you and I hope you enjoy. (I hope you like run-on sentences💀) (if you don’t like it don’t be rude just move on dude😃🧍‍♀️)

So story line, this doesn’t really take place in any specific universe but I’m gonna be pulling concepts from Titans, The Batman, Under the Red Hood, and whatever lore I remember from the CW shows cause I grew up watching those, then just my imagination of course. Reader is referred to as she/her btw.

Warnings: talking about death, suicide, depression, torture (it’s not graphic I hate gore it’s just sad), talking about intimacy (not graphic), struggling with eating, topics of grief

Part five: Dead?

You think you’re in shock. Maybe you’re so in shock you don’t even know you are. Dick said Barbra was going to deal with things back in Gotham so him, Kori and Rachel could come home. He told everyone he wants the team to be together but you know he really just wants to keep an eye on you. They should be back any minute since it’s been about three hours since you got the phone call; the call that told you the love of your life is dead. You and Gar sit on the couch side by side both quietly staring off into space. The elevator door opens and Dick, Kori and Rachel walk in. Rachel walks over to you and Gar, she pulls you both into a hug, Kori joins in and Dick simply stands to the side.

You get sick of the awkward conversation and long periods of silence. “Can I talk to you?” You ask Dick. He nods and you head into your old room.

“I’m sorry,” he says.

“I know,” you reply. “I’m going to Gotham.”

“Y/N, it’s not safe,” he says.

“You can’t stop me Dick, if you want you can come with but I’m going to Gotham…I want to see him,” you say softly.

“Fine, but no running off and what I say goes,” he says.

“Yes to the first one but I’m not a titan anymore I don’t take orders from you,” you say.

“Sorry…” he says. You begin to throw things into a leather backpack when he says, “you’ll always be a titan to me.” You look into his eyes and see so much sorrow. You don’t have the energy nor motive to attempt to unpack what he’s said. All you want is Jason, and now you’ll never see him again.

“Come on,” you say as you put on Jason’s leather jacket and your pink Chicago hat. Dick follows you out of the room and down the halls to where the titans are.

“Going somewhere?” Rachel says.

“Yeah, Y/N and I are going back to Gotham,” Dick says.

“What?” Gar says.

“What about the threats?” Kori says.

“Jokers the least of my problems right now, Jason’s dead…I need to be there,” you say.

“You’re okay with this Dick?” Gar asks.

“No but that’s why I’m going,” he says.

The car ride is filled with awkward silence. You guys are about an hour into the drive when Dick finally says something. “I’m sorry I couldn’t keep my promise,” he says.

“I don’t really wanna talk about it,” you answer quickly.

“I just need you to know I tried, I swept every room in Arkham myself,” he says.

“I know, Rachel told me,” you say. You notice he’s about to continue the conversation so you say, “I forgive you, I know that’s all you care about so I forgive you.”

“Hey, that’s not all I care about” He says.

“It wasn’t your fault, and besides it’s not about you,” you say.

“It’s not about me? What does that mean?” He says.

“Nothing just, you always do this Dick,” you say.

“Do what?” He asks.

“You always make it about yourself and your redemption, you did it on the roof top and you’re doing it right now and I just can’t deal with it, not today,” you say.

“Wait the rooftop-“ he starts to say before you cut him off.

“Not today Dick!” You say with anger. “Please,” you say softly. The rest of the car ride is fairly quiet except the typical arguing about if the gps is correct.

You and Dick get to GCPD to find Barbra speaking with a man in a lab coat.

“Dick?” She says. “I was just about to call you.”

“Barbra you remember Y/N,” Dick says.

“Right, hi,” she says sounding off. “Um something’s happened,” she says.

“Course more bad news, first can we see the body?” Dick asks.

“Fucks sake it’s not “the body” it’s Jason,” you mumble.

“Yeah so that’s the thing, it’s not Jason,” Barbra says.

“What?” You say.

“What do you mean it’s not Jason?” Dick asks.

“He was so beaten he was only recognizable by the Robin suit, we tested his DNA cause it’s part of procedure and the body in the morgue is not Jason Todd,” Barbra says.

“So Jason could still be alive somewhere?” You ask.

“Hypothetically yeah,” Barbra says.

I hope you liked the fic if you did please like, I really appreciate any positive feedback. It’s nice to know people enjoy my writing and it encourages me to keep writing and posting. I have a lot of ideas to develop the red hood story line and also I have backstory ideas for how the reader meets Jason and Dick and becomes a titan. Sorry this one is so short my mom is in the hospital that’s why. I did the whole Jason’s alive thing because I thought I killed him off a bit too suddenly, I’m trying to sort of merge the plots of under the red hood, death in the family and Arkham knight in regards to how he dies. Anyways I hope you are enjoying this series🩷

Also here’s my Masterlist incase you haven’t read the other parts.

Masterlist

[silenzahra]

Hey there, my amazing spiritual twin!

Don't mind me, I just invited myself in to gush over your writing for a moment😁 You'd better get comfortable because this might be a bit lengthy. Here we go!

So that little snippet from your angsty Brothership wip you were kind enough to share with me in your answer to my ask? So good, I was basically reduced to a little happy dog, wagging my tail and all that jazz, because I'm just so excited to read, no, to DEVOUR the whole thing once it's ready! It's gonna be totally awesome, I already know it🔥

Your other ideas you shared with me in the past? Looking forward to those too! Take as much time as you need with them though, I'm happy to know I'll have so much Zahra Writing to read in the future, possibly and hopefully for years to come🥰

And "Without him", the story you wrote based on my art? Oh my goodness, even just thinking about it still makes me so emotional🥹 Not only is it inspired by my art and a wonderful birthday present for me (and that's not even the only one you gave me! The other one was a banger too!), but it was also an incredibly written masterpiece imho. I've been itching to reread it, and I think I'll do it soon!

And you've been writing shorter stories based on my art as well as others', too, and they also deserve love and appreciation! I'm so honored to be among the artists who inspire you🫶 I can only hope to continue to do so!

Now, I know that your Luaisy stories in particular mean a lot to you. I'm sorry that I'm not quite the target audience for those and can't match your level of enthusiasm for the couple😅 But you know that, at least to my knowledge, I've still read them all, just like the Mareach ones. They're all very nicely written, my super talented twin! I think you can write any kind of relationship well, and I would actually love to see more of father-daughter stuff from you about Luigi and your OC Violet🥰

I love how music, usually your favorite band Estopa's, can inspire your writing. I love how you write the Mario characters and especially the Mario Bros. and the relationship between them. I adore the way you portray emotions and thoughts of the characters making it very easy to connect with them. How you describe action, how you can build suspense and atmosphere. I admire and respect the fact that you write your stories in Spanish first and then translate to English, effectively doing both the typical writing + editing work AND translation on top of that. You are amazing, and I wish you'd believe it as much as I, as well as many others, do.

Also, in the light of my recently developed anxiety and problems with sleeping, the comfort aspect of your fics is appreciated more than ever... I remember when Biggest Fear was able to calm me down enough to help me fall asleep as you advised me to🥲

You are an incredible writer whose works I love to reread (as you know, and so does my phone's browser - remember?) and I'm very confident that what you write in the future will be glorious! Please, have faith in yourself, because you know I do❤️💚🫂

I hope you feel better soon! Now, it wouldn't be a complete Emotional Support Ask from your twin without some hug gifs, so:

I love you, okay? Please be kind to yourself☺️❤️

Mugi. My EXTREMELY BELOVED twin bro. I know you sent this ask a couple of nights ago and I couldn't answer it earlier, but as you know I screenshoted it and I've been rereading it over and over again... and it never fails to move me deeply 🥹🥹🥹

My inbox is your inbox, of course!! It ALWAYS makes me so happy and giddy to see I got a new ask from you 🥹🥹 And this time you sent a long one because you knew I'm struggling with my writing lately... Seriously, if I loved you more, my heart would BURST 😭😭🫂🫂

Okay, your words about my Brothership WIP have me wagging my tail like a happy dog 🥹🥹🥹 Oh, Mugi, it means the entire UNIVERSE to me that you enjoyed the snippet so much!! Dnsojgnsripsapkvsedlñ your words are seriously so motivating, holy cow 😭😭😭 I have to say, even if I haven't touched that fic in a while, I'm actually quite proud with how it was turning out. And... the climax of the story will be even MORE angsty than the snippet I shared 👀👀👀 I may or may not be feeling like going back to it TODAY thanks to your supportive and encouraging words, bro. I literally can't thank you enough for giving me the boost that I needed to resume that fic at last and focus entirely on it. You have this power over me and I just can't thank you enough 🫂❤️💚

I'm so glad that you remember all my ideas that I've shared with you!! 🥹🥹 I know I'm taking forever to bring them all to life, but awww I'm so MOVED that you want more Zahra Writing for the future 😭😭😭 Seriously, you loving my writing so much makes me wanna scream and kick my feet and warms my heart so much. I'm over the moon right now 🥹😭🫂 You shall have your wish granted, bro, even if I'll still take some time. But I'll do it for you 💚❤️

Oh my God, you still get emotional just by thinking of Without him??? 😭😭😭 I absolutely LOVED your reblog and I swear I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw you being so touched, bro 🥹🥹🥹 I'm HONORED that my story could make you feel this way, Mugi. I kept you in my mind all the time while I was working on it and I wanted it to be as perfect as possible since it was meant for you. I LOVED bringing two of your amazing pieces together and gifting the story to you for your birthday, together with the rewrite of An electrical aura. I'm looking forward to writing more stories for you in the future, and I just couldn't be happier that you enjoyed this first fic that I wrote inspired by your art. I'm seriously about to cry that you consider it a masterpiece, like WHAT 😭😭😭 Thank you SO MUCH, my twin 🫂🫂🫂 I hope you'll enjoy rereading it just as much as the first time you read it 🥹💚❤️

Aww yes, I absolutely LOVE writing short stories for some specific pieces 🤩🤩 Thank you for acknowledging them too, bro!! I know I haven't done it too often but I've 100% enjoyed every single time that I did 🥰🥰 As you can see your art continues to be VERY inspiring for me, and I'm so glad you've enjoyed the short drabbles that I've written so far!! Again I'm looking forward to doing it more in the future, and of course I have my eye on your art 😁😁 I have no doubt you'll continue to inspire me, bro!! 🥰🥰

Oh please, Mugi, don't apologize for not sharing my Luaisy obsession with me 😭🫂 I totally get that you're not into it, and you know I deeply appreciate that you still went and read my two Luaisy fics as well as the Mareach ones. It touches me deeply that you wanna read everything that I write even when it's not your cup of tea 🥹🥹 You're one of my biggest supporters, reading even what you don't fully enjoy just so I can feel your love and support. Believe me: I do feel them 🫂🫂🫂 And I'm so grateful. One of the greatest lucks in my life is having you as my amazing twin brother. You make me feel so good about myself ❤️💚

Also! I DO wanna write more content with Luigi being my little Violet's dad and them bonding together and all that 🥹🥹 Actually, ever since I listened to a certain song that someone showed me a few days ago, I've felt the need to write them together again very soon... 🤭 And OMG thank you for saying that I can write any relationship, that's also such a great boost for my self-esteem as a writer 😭🫂

... Okay, your next paragraph has me ugly sobbing, my twin 🥲🥲🥲 You basically praised ALL aspects of my writing, like... What if I CRY 😭😭😭 Seriously, I feel like printing it and hanging it up in my wall so I can have a constant reminder of what makes my writing so good. And why my beloved bro loves it so much. Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU. Just, you're helping me remember why I love writing so much. Every single thing that you listed... I love it all. I love doing it all. Even the translation thing as much as at times I struggle, especially with idioms. But I still enjoy it, just as much as everything else. I... I sincerely don't see myself as being amazing, but I'll believe it because you said so 👉👈 I'm so honored that you and so many others see me this way. I promise that I'm working on it, and your words truly are helpful and helpe me believe in myself. I shall listen to my beloved and awesome twin bro. Thank you 🫂💚❤️

Oh, Mugi 🥺🥺 Believe me, I'd do WHATEVER I could do to fully erase the anxiety from your life. It's not easy at all to live with it... so I'm deeply moved and relieved that my fics can comfort you, especially Biggest fear. Even if I can't be physically there for you, my words can, so in a way it's like I'm actually there by your side. And it warms my heart so much 🫂🫂

Guabiedmnglksd there you go again, making me cry once more 😭😭🫂🫂 I know that you love rereading my stuff and I still get so emotional whenever I remember it 🥹🥹 Your confidence in me really is contagious, my twin, because you really make me feel like I'm capable of doing anything. Your faith in me is deeply appreciated, and I shall cultivate mine so I can continue to share more stories in the future that will hopefully be able to bring you more comfort. Just like you've done with me through this amazing, encouraging, and very touching ask that means EVERYTHING to me 🫂❤️💚

I love you so much, my dear brother. Thank you for everything that you do for me 🫂💚❤️

[from-the-coffee-shop-in-edoras]

2024 Fic Roundup

Thank you to @hobbitwrangler for the tag!

Total Words Published at End of Year: 75,841

Fandoms: LOTR for writing, all Tolkien for reading

Highest Everything (raw kudos, hits, comments): I’m a firm believer that stats just make people miserable, so I don’t want to put too much focus on them (also, my own favorites and the stat favorites do not always overlap much!). But these are my top performers of the year:

Hits: The Guardian

Kudos: The Guardian

Comments: Where Now the Horse and the Rider

New Things I Tried: A bunch of things! Multi-chapter fics. Delving into some darker material. Embracing my inner weirdo who really just wants to write about the most obscure lil’ guys (gn) who are in the books for half a second. 

Fic I Spent the Most Time On: Where Now the Horse, though that’s just because it was 8 chapters. On a chapter for chapter basis, it was probably Unwary, not for the writing but for the constant tweaking.

Fic I Spent the Least Time On: What Do We Say, written in its entirety during one boring meeting. 

Favorite Thing I Wrote: Hmm. Hard. I am emotionally invested in the relationship I built for Guthláf and Wídfara in Where Now the Horse and, of course, I’m deeply committed to my boy Háma in Hewn and Sewn. But I think I can recognize that Unwary is probably the best thing I wrote, and I am really proud of it. 

Favorite Thing(s) I Read: This is even harder! I could go on *forever* and I’m certain even then I’d be forgetting things. A non-exhaustive list:

the plain sight of our destiny is the cruelest fate of all by @hobbitwrangler . Stunningly compelling and gorgeously creepy and utterly fascinating look at things going very wrong in Umbar.

Cultivation by @dilettantefeminist . An elf healer apprentice of Elrond’s who is now living among the Men of Dale, this has one of my favorite OCs ever, immersive worldbuilding and is by turns witty, fun, dramatic and emotional!

An Anchor Incarnate by @eilinelsghost . A series of shorts featuring my Silm fave Gwindor that is both lovely and my absolute *ideal* balance of happy and sad, tragic and affirming.

Hemlock and Niphredil by @thescrapwitch . Elrond and Thingol in Valinor bonding over the shared grief of losing a daughter who loves a mortal man. I cried. A beautiful heartbreaker.

PHORSEsuasion by @celeluwhenfics . I love Jane Austen and I love Tolkien and I love Rohan and  I love interesting and active women characters and this has ALL of those things rolled into one!

Taken c. 3 by @sotwk . When you want an angsty romance with a bold and strong woman and a super hot, noble guy (in the form of Éomer!), you can’t find better than this.

I was also lucky enough this year to have two things that were written for me or with me partly in mind, and I *deeply* treasure them both: Moon River by @frodothefair and Sweets in a Time of War by dilettantefeminist. Both beautifully written, dealing with weighty and thought provoking ideas in unusual ways and tailored perfectly to my own most specific interests! I’m so grateful for them!❤️

Writing Goals for 2025: I’m not great at setting specific goals (see, for instance, my haphazard professional career). I mostly just want to keep doing what I want to do with my little niche interests and keepnmyself motivated by exploring new/different characters and ways of approaching them. Look for (hopefully) more stuff about Vidumavi, Dúnhere and his wife, something set in a border community between Rohan and Dunland, and more Elfhelm.

*****

I’m afraid that I’ve seen a bunch of these year-end reviews and now I can’t remember who has been tagged yet and who hasn’t. So if you haven’t and you’d like to do a review, please consider this your tag!

[pearlypairings]

20 questions for (fanfic) writers!

I was tagged by so many moots the past few weeks, but was just not up for talking about myself with how much stress I've been dealing (or not dealing?) with. However! I am doing some self care tonight and I'm squeezing this in under that category <3 so thank you @erythromanc3r @deadheaddaisy @1lostsoul0fishbowl @pipergirl17 @krakoansam and anyone else who tagged me ✨

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

On AO3, I have 43 fics under my regular username and 8 anonymous fics (lol all were anonned for very different reasons, some funnier than others)

2. What’s your total ao3 word count?

Over 363,00 words which is totally insane to me by the way!! Like how did that happen??

3. What are your top five fics by kudos?

1. Do or Die (which absolutely cracks me up btw) 2. not a sound but the wind (one of my own faves) 3. {redacted anon fic} 4. there is a light that never goes (!!! my photocheer rarepair fic!!) 5. Meet Me at Our Spot

4. What fandoms do you write for?

I’ve written a bunch in the Stranger Things universe (lots of hellcheer, and some rarepairs mostly consisting of a nice dude with Chrissy Cunningham (jonathan, steve, patrick). I've also written a few fics for Twin Peaks and recently got into writing wips for Star Trek : Enterprise which has been such a FUN fandom to participate in:) everyone had been so sweet!

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes! Always try to respond when I'm updating wips or checking in on my inbox. I love interacting with other people in fandom, and if they're reading and enjoying my fic, of course I want to gush and thank them<3

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Hmm I'd have to say my Audrey Horne-centric fic that was a fic study of her "friendship" with Laura. It's called Twin Flames Divided. The ending concludes on an angsty note, because it circles back to the canon start of Twin Peaks.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I think all my fic endings are pretty sweet and happy to be honest! I just love warm gooey feelings at the end of a fanfic for our darlings. hmm if I had to pick one, it would be... broken curses and kept promises which is a look at older hellcheer from Wayne's pov. Smooshy stuff!

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I don't think so....? But I genuinely have a poor memory lmao makes life a lot easier on my ego.

9. Do you write smut?

I've dabbled! they're anon though so have fun trying to figure them out!

10. Do you write crossovers?

One! Agent Cooper in S4 Hawkins, called Coffee and Contemplation. I have fun dabbling between those universes and their intersections :)

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of~

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope, but I would be over the moon about it :)

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

not yet, but perhaps some day with the right motivation and timing for losty and I.

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

I gotta say my darlings Jonathan and Chrissy have me in chokehold. I will always love hellcheer, they have a special spot in my heart, but somehow the gentle pain of both Jonathan and Chrissy complement each other so well and in so many interesting ways.

15. What’s the wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

All my wips are finishable! Just in their own time and when life decides to cooperate<3

16. What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue, poetic description (on occasion), and tiny funny jokes (they're funny TO ME all right lol)

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Probably following consistent grammar/punctuation rules. Not the basic stuff, but the more in-depth ones that are reinforced in creative writing classes that I never took because I thought I hated writing lol. Also I write a lot of alternate scenes that can be a bit dizzying after I'm done editing. Sometimes I have trouble remembering which lore details were included in the final chop.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in a fic?

Depends on the intent and the complexity! If it's for a quick bit, sure. But lengthy conversations might be a bit overkill.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Stranger Things (technically an orphaned twin peaks fic but eh we don't count that one)

20. Favourite fic you’ve ever written?

Honestly, just like your favorite songs change with the seasons of your life so do my favorites of my own works. Sometimes I love my rarepair long fic, sometimes it's my anon smut, sometimes it's my newer Enterprise fics that feel so refreshing and challenging. And it'll circle back to my older hellcheer classics. Overall, I'm always happy about the fics that have one or two kind comments that connected me to someone on the other end of internet. It's really really cool to know someone out there really enjoyed something you've shared.

[ghostoftheyear]

20 Questions: Writing Edition

@theskee tagged me for this and I can never resist answering questions about myselfmy writing. Let's gooooooooo

How many works do you have on AO3?

260, which goes all the way back to the first stuff I posted on my website in like… 1999 or so? We're talking when I was into comics fandom. (And obviously, those were not originally posted on AO3.)

What's your total ao3 word count?

1,393,595 - what a good pattern in that number, ha. I have so many extremely short fics.

What are your top five fics by kudos?

Waking the Moon - the first (in order of writing) of the FFXV omegaverse wolf fics. I'm still quite pleased with that one, even if I did start writing it out of spite.

In Between - the one and only LOTR fic I was ever inspired to write, a Legolas/Aragorn PWP that still gets kudos even though I'm very tired of it. It's fine, I guess.

The Strength of the Wolf - Another in the Werewolves of Lucis series. This was the only time I ever had enough motivation and inspiration to put out multiple fics as a series.

Tutelage - The one proper Ignis/Gladio fic I ever did, and I am still proud of that one, too. Even though Noctis makes a very outdated 'Etro' reference that shows how early this was written.

Perspective - Possibly my favorite Torchwood fic (Jack/Ianto, of course) and it makes me super happy that it's up here on the list. Threading bits of moments from all through the canon was fun, and I remember thinking of one additional scene and popping it in just after I posted the fic and being so pleased with it. (I think it's the Martha scene.)

What fandoms do you write for?

Right now, Dragon Age has 99% of my attention, but I'm still thinking about FFVII Remake (even if no ideas have come to me in months), and I still have a DMMd fic I want to finish (another to round out the actor AU).

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Fuck yeah. I used to know someone who got so many that he just didn't respond anymore, but I have never had that happy circumstance, and I want people to know how much their words are appreciated. Plus, it's led to friendships more than once, and I can't not respond if someone notices something special or goes into detail about a bit they liked.

What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Hmmm. I don't often write angsty endings, but holding on, letting go kinda qualifies, I think. I mean, most of what I write is smut, so…

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

God, there's a lot of them, I really can't pick. I did a super-classic Disneyesque happy ending with Spellbound, that was fun.

Do you get hate on fics?

Fortunately, not too much; there was one on an RPS fic that still stands out to me (even though it was hilarious), but I've had more weird and confusing comments than anything.

Do you write smut?

I would say I'm known for it.

Do you write crossovers?

Not often, since I find them hard to justify. I still like the Firefly/Torchwood one that had Mal and Captain Jack hooking up, though - Collision.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of, fingers crossed.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yeah, I had someone translate do you understand, do you feel the same, which was really surprising and nice.

Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

Sort of, in that I've rewritten RP (with my partner's permission) into fics. I've never done proper cowriting, but maybe someday.

What's your all time favourite ship?

Ugh, there's so many and they're all so dear to me. Jack/Ianto, Promnis, obviously Kouao. Rookanis, right now. I love them all so much, I can't choose.

What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

UGH there are WIPs from my boyband slash days that still haunt me. (The Matrix one, the mage AU one…) I guess right now it's that DMMd one. It seems so far off now.

What are your writing strengths?

THIS IS HARD. SKEE WHY DID YOU MAKE ME DO THIS LOL. Uhh, I think I'm best at dialogue and interpersonal relationships, getting to the heart of scenes quickly (maybe too quickly sometimes). I like really getting in deep with vocabulary and trying to fit the wording just right for every sentence.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Plotting and structure feel like my biggest issues. Only once or twice have I ever actually managed to write an outline and plan out what would happen in a fic… and then it got away from me, and half of it didn't happen because it would have just overwhelmed the fic, heh. And then I didn't write the other half. That was the last Werewolves fic, To Be Human After All.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in a fic?

I've never written more than one or two words of another language in dialogue or otherwise in a fic. I usually italicize them, or in the case of the one Firefly fic, I added a translation in the end notes (I think it was "hun dan" - asshole). Most of the time it's something that I think the readers would understand, like sensei in something based on Japanese media.

First fandom you wrote for?

Hmm, I think technically it was Star Wars, when I was very wee. The first stuff I remember writing (actually physically writing, in school notebooks) was for ElfQuest, in an epic full of OCs (my Mary Sue character was half-elf, half-human, named Bluesky -- the irony, I know). The first stuff I posted online was X-Men comics related.

Favourite fic you've ever written?

Good lord, how am I supposed to choose. Did I mention I have 260 fics posted? And that's not even all of them. But since I haven't mentioned them much, I'll say it's the first FFVII Remake fic I wrote, reach out your hand, featuring Cloud/Biggs.

Aaaaaaaaaand I'm gonna tag @lindira on this one! This was super fun, even if it did make me have to think too much, lol.

[mildlyannoyedscoundrel-blog]

Fan Fic Writer Interview

I’ve wanted to do this ever since I saw it on @hollow-lime-green’s blog but I have my phone set up so that I can only be on social media for 5 minutes at a time and it is hard to do something like this 5 minutes at a time so I’ll probably be chipping away at it for another couple of months lol

How many works do you have on AO3?

17! But I think there’s one that I orphaned when I myself was 17 so I guess technically 18.

Your top 5 stories by kudos:

1) Fuckery - JJK, Satosugu, 14.3K which is insane now that I look at it, Rated E

This fic is the bane of my existence istg (lh). I wrote it on a dare from my irl friends, slapped it out in like a month and a half and it became my most popular fic by far within less than a week. Sex sells ig.

Seriously though, there are some parts of it that I am genuinely proud of and even if my repressed ass wants to die of embarrassment and Catholic guilt every time I think about it I do think it’s a good fic. There may or may not even be a sequel in the works who knows.

2) Glycerin - BNHA, Kiribaku, Rated M, 130K

My baby. My pride and joy. The fic I always keep coming back to. I’ve been writing this fic since I was 16 and genuinely it has been one of the most valuable experiences of my life. It’s still holding on by a thread as my most popular hits wise (damn you Fuckery), but it definitely has the most dedicated and supportive readership of anything I’ve written. Even if it’s not #1 in my kudos it will always be #1 in my heart.

3) hug me, love me, protect me - BNHA, Krbk, Rated T, ~8K

Kind of a sleeper agent tbh. I wrote it for a Christmas exchange and it was kinda out of my comfort zone cause I never write AU stuff but I think it turned out pretty cute! (Though very goofy)

4) Please Just Give Me One Last Kiss - BNHA, Krbk, Rated M, 5K

It’s angsty, it’s cheesy, what more could you want. I should reread it tbh

5) Something In Between - BNHA, Krbk, Rated G, 6.9K

Another fic that is super important to me. Straight up this fic and the zine it was a part of may very well have changed the course of my life (got me to break up with my girlfriend/childhood best friend of 11 years). I still get comments from aromantic people saying that it’s so nice to have a fic that makes them feel seen and even though my sexuality is once again massively up in the air it’s definitely one of the fics that I’ve poured the most of myself into.

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to! Though admittedly I’ve been lacking recently 😬

Comments are always such a big motivator for me and I think that 1) it encourages people to keep commenting and 2) since they’ve taken the time to comment it’s nice to take the time to thank them. I should really get caught up on my comments lmao

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Uhhhhh probably either The Thing He Wants or What kind of gift? though tbh I don’t even know if I would count those as full on fics cause they’re both less than 1000 words and were more just ideas that I posted on Twitter and decided to cross post onto ao3 cause why not. I don’t really do full fics with angst endings. I’m a happy endings only kind of person

What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

It hasn’t happened yet but Glycerin is gonna have such a happy ending I promise. I actually wrote the epilogue several years ago and sometimes when my motivation is low I go back and read it cause I’m like after all the shit I’ve put him through I need Kat to get to that point.

Insofar as happy endings that have already been published, probably either Please Just Give Me One Last Kiss or Something In Between

Do you write crossovers?

Nope

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Nope again

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Well as previously mentioned I tend to be a bit repressed so for a long time I didn’t, but I’ve started to a little bit within the past year thanks to the previously mentioned dare and Ykw it’s pretty fun I can’t lie. It’s nice to get out of my comfort zone a lot a little bit and according to my comments I’m pretty good at it so that’s always fun. So far my smut has been exclusive to Satosugu for the simple reason that it’s one of the few ships I have where I genuinely think the characters are attractive

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not yet, but oh man that would be the biggest compliment ever.

What’s your all-time favorite ship?

Oof this one is hard. The one I’ve loved for the longest is definitely Sokeefe, but that series is so genuinely bad idk if I can in good conscience call it my all time favorite. Maybe it would be if the characters didn’t still have the personalities of badly written 11 year olds.

Im gonna say my OTP is probably Kiribaku cause I just love how caring and supportive they are of each other while also being very goofy and fun but with plenty of angst potential too, but that being said Satosugu has absolutely consumed me for the past year and a half and I don’t see that disappearing any time soon

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

Hands Like Mine, Heart Like His (BNHA, Krbk, Rated G, 8.8K)

It’s a really sweet story but it’s another one that I planned to be long and I’m such a slow writer that I had to choose one long fic to focus on and Glycerin is way too important to me to give up. I still day dream about Hand and Hearts though so maybe someday I’ll add another chapter or two

What are your writing weaknesses?

Speed for sure. I am so abysmally slow it’s awful. The absolute best I can do is maybe 500 words in an hour and that is super rare, like genuinely maybe once or twice a year rare, which especially sucks cause I like writing super long stuff that ends up taking me literal years. I have such an insane amount of respect for writers who can consistently get chapters out every couple of weeks or even days.

What are your writing strengths?

One common thing I get complimented on a lot is making my characters feel human/well rounded which makes me really happy.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I think it’s super fun! Unfortunately I only speak English and a little bit of Spanish so I don’t do it often, but I do have a chapter of Two Weeks where a majority of the dialogue is in Spanish and it was a really fun challenge (though idk how accurate the translation is lol). If the POV character speaks the language then usually I’ll provide a translation, but if they don’t I think it’s fun to just have it as is and either have the reader experience the confusion along with the POV character or try to write it in a way where the reader and character can both kind of understand what’s going on even without knowing what’s being said.

What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to?

Beiguang, CaitVi, GELPHIE. Basically any F/F ship because I am unfortunately cursed with being completely unable to write Sapphic ships despite the fact that I myself am a woman who has exclusively dated other women. I’m hoping Gelphie will save me though. Please.

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

Glycerin and Something In Between are definitely the ones that are the most important to me, but I’ve already talked about those so honerable mention goes to In The Garden (JJK, Stsg, Rated G, 2.8K). It’s definitely short and sweet but idk I just think the writing is really good and I’m so proud of how the formatting in that one scene turned out. It genuinely was like a month of me brainstorming ways of visually portraying what I wanted to portray and I think it turned out really well!

Okay wow I actually managed to finish this within the day! (Though it did take me all day). I don’t really have anyone to @ since all in all I’m still relatively new to tumblr so I’ll just do what Hana did and say anyone who wants to go for it!

[babyseraphim]

20 questions for fic writers

tagged by @emryses, thank you for always tagging me in such fun things!!

1. How many works do you have an AO3? 11

2. What's your total AO3 word count? 122,112

3. What fandoms do you write for?

I write pretty much exclusively for Dead Boy Detectives, but I have a oneshot for Marvel from 2017, and an unfinished AU for Critical Role that I'll probably never go back to

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

By Lantern's Light

my healing needed more than time

foolish flame

The Case of the Selkie's Skin

Overloaded

5. Do you respond to comments?

I do when I have the time and energy. All my free time is kind of eaten up by writing the fics themselves, so unless the comment is really long or really funny, I usually don't respond. But I appreciate every comment just the same, they are what keep me motivated to write

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I honestly don't really do fics with angsty endings? Because all of my fics are super angsty in general, so I like to end things on a positive note. I guess the closest would be The Case of the Selkie's Skin because there's not really any closure there, they just move onto the next case. But even that one still has a cathartic ending.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

foolish flame for sure. A lot of my fic endings tend to be bittersweet in some way, but this one was a pure fluffy ending

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Nah. I don't think I've been regularly posting fics long enough for that.

9. Do you write smut?

I have written smut exactly once, and while it was a really cathartic/rewarding experience, I don't know if I'll ever do it again. It's a little too far out of my comfort zone.

10. Do you write crossovers?

No, crossovers aren't really my thing, though I have toyed with the idea of writing a dead boy detectives/pushing daises crossover just for the hell of it. But it probably won't ever make it onto paper.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, and the idea of it kinda scares me lol

14. What's your all time favorite ship?

Literally changes day to day. I think kirk/spock is the one that will truly own my heart forever, but payneland really is the perfect ship for me (hence all the fanfiction)

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

The Case of Eros's Arrow, which is sitting with 4 chapters on AO3. I still like the concept of it, and my OCs in it, but my writing has changed so much since I started it and I just don't really feel connected to the work itself anymore. Which is a shame, because I left my readers on a total cliffhanger. Whoops.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think I do alright with descriptive prose (or I enjoy writing it, at the very least). I'm also good at worldbuilding and coming up with fun/creative plots.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Transitions between scenes, and general construction of dialogue (though I've gotten better at dialogue over recent months). I can also get a little ramble-y when it comes to introspection, though I'm usually pretty good about cutting it all down by the time the final draft is done.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I don't have many thoughts on it. I only speak english, and the only language I've ever used in my fics besides english is Latin (for magic purposes).

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Supernatural, I think? It was OC fanfiction, I still have it floating around this blog somewhere

20. Favorite fics you've written?

dye it all, rosary I think is my favorite right now. I don't know what the fuck I was on when I wrote that fic, but I wrote chapter 1 in one sitting, and then chapter 2 over the course of a few months. It turned out so much better than I ever could have hoped, and I just truly love it so much.

I also love my healing needed more than time because it has all the stuff that I love in it (magic, lesbians, dogs, kids, and other fun stuff to come). I'm also just really proud that I've managed to stick with it as long as I have; it's the first piece of writing over 14k that I've ever written in my life.

I tag: @many-gay-magpies, @deadtwinksdetectiveagency, @williamvapespeare, and @the-ipre!

[peachmangofuzz]

Hey, there!

My name is Annie and I write for fun.

Aside from the occasional Shohei fic, I publish poetry on an undisclosed account (and sometimes, just within the safety of Notes app). I try not to, but I believe I write best I'm sad, or when it revolves around a sad, angsty theme. Writing is a lost hobby for me ever since I started work years ago and I'm so glad that this year, I was able to return to it and make my free time more meaningful and productive.

I'm a corporate girlie so most of my weekdays are spent thinking big, big thoughts so reading/writing has been a natural lifesaver for me (aside from fangirling over Shohei and baseball of course!)

If you have given any of my writing some love, have commented or left me messages here thank you! Receiving love for the work I love the most means a lot to me, especially when you tell me to write more really motivates me and validates me that living in a cloud of fantasy ain't so bad after all.

I'm still contemplating if I should post my non-fic stuff that I've written about or leave this page solely for Shohei. In the mean time, I am linking all what I've written so far below!

Shohei Ohtani AU masterlist (updated):

~from this day forward

~challenge failed successfully

~our future lives

~dusty and fraulein

~7 minutes in heaven

~baby fever

~dusty and fraulein: still cute, still chaos (NEW)

Love and light, Annie 🧡

[wonwoosthetic]

pt2 - When I saw that you had finally updated again, the joy I felt was honestly indescribable. pure happiness.I’ve saved so many tweets and TikToks that remind me of MinniexWonuxMingyu’s dynamic. it’s insane how much I think about them. Their relationship just lives rent-free in my head.I don’t want to overwhelm you with requests, especially since you’re just getting back into writing. but I would love to read Minnie’s perspective on some of the things that happened this year.

Please know that you could never overwhelm me with requests! I LIVE FOR THEM😫🫶🏼 like it genuinely makes my heart jump in the best way possible whenever I see a new inbox messages🥺

It is absolutely bananas to me that this fictional character and the dynamics I have created live in other peoples heads😂🥺 like, of course they’re on my mind like 24/7 bc duh, I have to think of them constantly haha but the fact that a reader thinks of them so much as well is so insane to me and genuinely the biggest compliment I think I could ever get in regards to my writing🥺🤟🏼🫶🏼🩷 LIKE WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU SAVED STUFF ON SOCIAL MEDIA THAT REMINDS YOU OF MY FREAKING STUFF ALABWUSBSOXBWISL I LOVE YOU🩷🩷🩷🩷

Also, if you ever want to send me some of the stuff you’ve saved, PLS DO🥺😭 trust me, seeing multiple inbox messages is more heartwarming than it is overwhelming🫶🏼🫶🏼

How the hell do you guys get obsessed with the people I created as much as I do, I will never understand but God… I can’t thank you enough that you feel so passionately about my work🥺🩷🥺🩷🥺🩷🥺🩷🥺🩷

I have a TikTok folder labeled “Minnie” with videos that inspired me for one shots or moments I would want to include or scenes I want to write, etc. does anyone know can you like share folders so that others can put stuff into it? I feel like that would be so cool😫🤟🏼 (all would have to be anonymous of course, I don’t want anyone getting exposed if they don’t want that!)🩷

I like I mentioned in my other answer: I’ll use your other messages as answers once I post your requests🥰 to everyone else reading this: y’all are getting some ANGSTY stuff hehe

Your words are very much appreciated and only motivated me to write even quicker and so much more!!! (Currently writing the next part of nana tour🤭) Thank you so much, from the bottom of my heart, you are such a kind soul, pls always stay so wonderful and sweet🩷🫶🏼🩷🫶🏼🩷🫶🏼🩷

P.S. to everyone that has sent and wants to send me tiktoks: please remember that if your profile is public, it shows who wants to share a tiktok with others, so pls let me know if you don’t want me to publicly answer on an inbox message if it includes a link!🫶🏼 (I’ll either just keep it to myself or share it again through another link, so your profile doesn’t get exposed)

[avatar-legends-confessionblog]

I've come to vent about my relationship with Rozin of all things. I must warn that this is NOT anti Rozin confession! There's literally nothing wrong with this ship, but...

For a long time I thought it was the only genuinely good and interesting ship out of all ATLA and LOK ships. Despite having little to no screen time, I was nevertheless hooked by Roku's and Sozin's dynamic. And how could I not? Childhood friends turned into bitter enemies with all the angst and heartbreak it entails? *chief kiss* Rozin just had that kick that other ships didn't have to me. I mean it in the nicest way possible, but everything just felt bland and boring in comparison. Most likely because I'm a drama queen who loves screwed up stuff. In my head and private notes, I would make Rozin WORSE, I would add things that didn't happen in canon, that would NEVER happen in canon, that would plunge those two into a new dark abyss I made just for them. In my head and private notes, I would make Rozin BETTER, I would give Roku and Sozin a chance to reconcile, to learn from one another, to finally have a relationship they couldn't have in canon. I would come up with crazy AUs, one of them even became a baseline for my main crossover story.

I mean it genuinely that this ship was IT for me. And it was like that for 5 years...

Until it just... Wasn't anymore.

The overall ATLA fandom, unfortunately, doesn't share my sentiment. The arts and fics and hell even meta posts that would examine Roku and Sozin's relationship was extremely rare. All those things I did with Rozin privately ? That was basically all that I had. I kid you not, Rozin felt more like a fandom joke, than an actual ship. The ship tag was clogged with the same repetitive "haha, Roku and Sozin were exes" "haha, Roku and Sozin were gay" shit. A joke that was repeated over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over. With no changes, no new punchline. It was funny the first couple of times, then it lost the punch, then it became annoying and then... those jokes became enraging. I was becoming SICK of them.

I would much rather have there be no new Rozin posts, than the ship tag being cluttered with. the. same. shitty. unfunny. repetitive. joke. At least the lack of content would motivate me to actually share the AUs and hcs I made in private. It would be a challenge, a drive. But, the fandom is dead set on seeing them as "just angsty exes, lol".

Oh, but that's not why I decided to write here. You know what I'm about to say. The upcoming Roku centric book, that, of course has scenes that are almost hand-crafted to pander to Rozin shippers.

I know I should be excited. I should be happy. My ship is finally getting attention! Getting official interaction since, what? Over a decade of NOTHING?

But, I felt nothing.

At first.

Then, when I realized that I felt nothing I felt... rage? Sadness? Despair?

I used to LOVE Rozin. What happened? I should be excited. Why am I not?

It has been 5 years of that. Of Rozin being worse than nothing. Not even a ship, but an inside joke among ATLA fans. I would've been fine if the book interactions contradicted my hcs, I would just make new ones or change the old ones a little. But, I got tired. At this point, I feel nothing for the ship. Maybe annoyance. I definitely think I don't like it now. And it's sad. It's almost tragic.

I love Roku and Sozin as characters. And I used to love shipping them, as another way to explore and study them as characters. But now, I think, I will just block Rozin tag and dismiss any ship context if I do happen to start posting my ATLA fan art again and people would ask of I shipped them or not. I don't. Not anymore. If you really want a ship content with them, well, I suppose I have my OC x Roku ship, but, I'm certain no one would be interested in that, so I'll just keep it to myself.

Sorry for the long rant. Sorry that it sounds so dramatic or pathetic. But, I feel better after writing everything here. Maybe I can finally leave this all behind.

X

[trollocks-in-my-bollocks]

20 Questions about writing 2.0

A while ago @lavendelhummel tagged me in her ask post and I want to make a point about my ability to actually react to stuff in a timely manner (rip). I worked a 12h shift today and with an addled brain (edit: lol I haven't managed to post this from the drafts in two days), I'm doing this. This is fun, we are going to have fun now.

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

Officially five. Unofficially there's a secret 6th one.

2. What’s your total ao3 word count?

68,919 words, most of it was written in 2022 when I had a weird year. The country next to us was being invaded by another, people who I'd thought would know better just went fully insane, I felt isolated and I needed escapism. Then next year I moved to a farm in Italy for a month, then to another country to do research for half a year through a dark slavic winter, so being alone was a theme and I was writing most of my fics in those periods when I had no family or social life, just quiet nights and my laptop.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

The Wheel of Time, my plots are spoilery and most of my stories are about the gap between NS and TEOTW or set after TMOL.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Born from Dark Water -- (The Cute One)

2. Dark Matter // Trip Through the Ways -- (The Kinky One)

3. Winternight's Tales -- (a series of short stories with a Moiraine/Birgitte threat in the background, a sort of AMOL fix-it)

4. Rain -- (the Entai One)

5. Il vento non era l'inizio -- (The One Written In Italian People Still Left Kudos On???)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I receive the best comments and nearly always reply but sometimes when someone says something incredibly nice I take several days or weeks to reply because I don't want to ruin the impression my fic left in them with an inadeqate reply. I know it's silly.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I'm not willing to write angsty endings, we have the source material for that. If I need to choose it would be Il vento non era l'inizio because it's a story about Moiraine leaving Siuan behind in Tar Valon and she's accidentally making it snow (sad cloud dancer moment).

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Dark Matter // Trip Through the Ways has the most optimistic ending compared to were the story is coming from.

8. Do you get hate on fic?

Not really. Someone once freaked out a bit because my characters didn't cuddle but that was more on the entertaining side.

9. Do you write smut?

I try but light knows I'm so bad at it. I probably shouldn't be allowed to write wlw scenes but who else will write that specific story then?? the ethernal conflict.

10. Do you write crossovers?

No :(

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I think it's natural for this fandom to have this collective meta lore that evolves with time (e.g. we all think it was Siuan who taught Moiraine fishing with her powers) and people take inspiration from this collective pool, it can't be always traced back who had a certain idea first. That being said, I often start my chapters explaining in a short note which author inspired certain characterisations or ideas in my story, just to be fair and mostly because I'm obsessed with these fanworks and I want them to be read and cherished.

I did experience a certain author 'borrowing' very specific world-building elements from me. I didn't really mind it but they could have left notes, kudos or comments or something on the fic they were borrowing from, it wasn't really elegant this way.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not to my knowledge, but writing them is already a translation process (pain).

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No but it would be so motivating to do that.

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

Well, Moiraine and the Green Man of course. Siuanraine but I'm not good at writing them so I just binge other authors' stories.

While they never meet in the books, I'm obsessed with Birgitte/Moiraine and how well they could understood each other's pain. I'm actually so obsessed that I have written 37,229 words about the topic. (Most of it is just post-TMOL fix it, they only meet in the last few chapters of the story)

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but probably won’t?

Probably the secret one. Also I always think that the next chapter would be the final one for Winternight's Tales and then the story just takes a turn at its own will.

16. What are your writing strengths?

My worldbuilding and the way I'm writing platonic relationships, probably. I think I'm good at writing entai as well :DDD.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

The Sex Scenes and my dialogues.. Also I'm writing these long sentences and it's so hard to change that habit.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I'm constantly writing dialogues in another language. It's hard.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

I've written a ballad for the Stargate fandom in my native tongue when I was a teenager. I got a comment on it on ff.net after I graduated from my bachelors but I was so happy about it :D

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

Dark Matter // Trip Through the Ways, I laughed so much when I was writing this one.

I'm going to be a creep and just tag the writers here I sort of know and like so much, @lakeofsilverpike @asuitablegirl96, @gabolange @woodytwig @onaperduamedee @poohsticksbridge, @thatordinaryoddity but no pressure!

[chrononautintraining]

20 questions for fic writers

Thanks for the tag @lindirs-gaze!

1. how many works do you have on ao3?

78

2. what’s your total ao3 word count?

1,216,174

3. what fandoms do you write for?

My current hyperfixation is The Untamed/Modao Zushi, but I write for whatever. I've got a lot of one shots for properties I think are neat like Welcome to Nightvale or Parks and Rec.

4. what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

A Passion for Mushrooms, Mountain Flowers, The Seedling, Family's Just Another Word for Something Left To Lose, and In Town for the Wedding. Four in Hobbit/LotR fandom and one Naruto.

5. do you respond to comments? why or why not?

I really try to. I appreciate feedback so much. When I'm in a funk it really brightens my mood, so I want to respond and build community with readers not just drop a story. And sometimes I go months without checking my inbox which makes me feel awkward about replying. It's a mix.

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Interestingly, Family's Just Another Word For Something Left To Lose, according to some readers. It's ambiguous at the end and *a lot* of people think Kakashi dies, which is not at all my intent. I was paralleling the same scene with Iruka in the anime, and Iruka survives. It did not occur to me that the ambiguity would be what so many people took away.

The one I wrote that's intentionally angsty at the end is all i hear is your gear, which has no happy intentions and is all just about Crowley being a demon in hell.

7. what’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

So much of my stuff is romance with a traditional HEA ending, but weirdly the ending I like most is A Spy in the Shire. It's a happy ending for this one oc dwarf, but in the broader context of the series I think it both emphasizes the Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies AU happiness as well as justifying the many sacrifices made in canon.

8. do you get hate on any fics?

yeah for sure. And I am sensitive about it. If it hits me when I'm already feeling low, I usually have to stay away from fandom spaces for a while and I often lose the motivation to write at all. It sucks. Some of it I can brush off more easily, like the Iruka/Kakashi shippers who come onto my fic to make fun of the way Mighty Guy looks and try to pick a fight. They are likely children and I just don't engage. But the people who criticize my writing or a specific story for reasons they are happy to detail can be harder to ignore.

This is of course a very different thing than the helpful folks who point out that I've once again mixed up desert and dessert. Y'all are lovely and I appreciate the help.

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind?

Yes, as the mood strikes. ...the kind I'm in the mood for? Almost always romantic stuff between a major pairing.

10. do you write crossovers? what’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Listen. Ron Swanson and Wolverine would be very good friends, actually. My Parks and Rec / X-men crossover is not crazy.

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge.

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! One of my Naruto fics is available in Chinese and two of my Modao Zushi stories can be read in Russian. As I speak neither language, I can only assume the translators did an awesome job of making my writing smarter, funnier, and sexier than it is in English.

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, but I find the idea of collaborating interesting.

14. what’s your all time favorite ship?

This is not how my brain works. I pretty much constantly have a Current Obsession and then pairings I still enjoy. Right now, Wangxian invented love, but I'll always enjoy revisiting a certain romance involving Mister Spock or the Leverage Pretzels and Beer OT3.

15. what’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I desperately want to finish my Zombie Criminal Minds series, particularly because being able to revisit it will mark the end of my pandemic / outbreak related brain gremlins.

16. what are your writing strengths?

speling

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

I'd like to do more with humor. I feel like I frequently manage to provoke a sensible chuckle, but I've read fics that make me crack up. Someday, I'd like to write a really Terry Pratchett style laugh-a-minute story.

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Sometimes you gotta do it, because it's in keeping with the canon, but it's always best to do sparingly. If it's longer than a greeting or an honorific, I like to translate directly within the narrative or use a footnote.

19. first fandom you wrote for?

Slayers. Yes, I was that anime kid in high school.

20. favorite fic you’ve written?

My favorite child? Well, I've never really cared for Pit Stop...

I suppose, back against a wall, I enjoy the world building in None So Blind. We just don't spend enough time in dwarven spaces that aren't complete ruins in the canon. Coupled with thoughts on fantasy accessibility and the classic trope of tripping a romantic lead into a pile of literal pig shit, I just like it. Good work, 2018!me.

If you'd like to play, please pretend I tagged you! For the meme, I'll invite @youhideastar, @primtheamazing, and @sunshine304