#of our heritage that i grew up with and even in assimilating they were still proudly and emphatically ukrainian

[starwarmth]

i feel like other countries often make fun of americans for claiming heritage because it doesn’t “count” but they don’t understand the natural, day-to-day displacement. your ancestors come from somewhere and the minute you want to connect because you’re everything and nothing, so you decide you want to be everything rather than nothing, everyone has cruel things to say to you and how your family’s history doesn’t matter. that it’s your citizenship that matters, even though your history and your neighbor’s history are completely different. me and my neighbor can bond over our shared citizenship, and we do. but we can’t bond over a shared history, because his people come from india and wales and turkey and korea, and the neighbor next to him has ancestors from bulgaria and nigeria and your people are both irish and ashkenazi. maybe you don’t know them, because they assimilated, or were stolen, or left their past behind. but you are them, and you want to know them, because you came from somewhere, from someone, and you want to feel a connection.

you want a family.

a lot of the american experience is displacement, i feel, unless you’re native american, and you’re STILL displaced because this is your land, the land of your people, and it was taken from you.

and folks could say “okay then go to the place of your ancestors” but you’re not like your ancestors anymore, because they left. you’re american now, you grew up in america, with a set of values, dialect, jokes, understandings, that all are related to the specific region in which you were raised. but that doesn’t mean that you appeared out of the blue, with nothing and no one attached to you. you still have vestiges, and you want to know them.

because, being american, there’s the choice of being either everything or nothing. and everyone wants you to be nothing, because how can you be everything. it’s very easy, in some strange way, to be everything. because someone fell in love with another and had a child and to them that child was everything. and it feels wrong to say that you’re nothing, because then those people who had a past, who raised you and loved you, who made you everything—then they were nothing. and they weren’t nothing.

[hc-geralt-23]

Love Across the Houses

Updated version of Love Across the Houses with more indept dialog.

Daemon Targaryen was the youngest member of the Targaryen family, born after the tragedy that had taken his parents and siblings. Despite being a Targaryen, he had always been drawn to the North and its people. He had heard numerous stories of their courage and honor from his brother, Aegon, who had visited the North before his untimely death.

When he arrived at Winterfell on behalf of his aunt Daenerys, he was immediately struck by the stark beauty of the place and its inhabitants. The moment he laid eyes on you, a member of House Stark, he knew that he had found something special.

You were taken aback by how charming and kind he was, despite his family's reputation. You found yourself drawn to him, despite knowing that the North and its people were fiercely independent and would not easily assimilate with outsiders.

Over time, Daemon and you got to know each other better as he gained more respect and trust from your family. He was always interested in learning about your culture and traditions, and you were eager to share them with him. You both found that despite coming from different houses, you had a lot in common and a powerful connection.

One evening, as the two of you walked along the snowy grounds of Winterfell, Daemon took your hand in his. "I never expected to find such warmth and acceptance here," he said, his voice filled with sincerity.

You smiled softly. "The North may be cold, but its people have hearts that burn like fire."

He squeezed your hand gently. "And you, my love, have the warmest heart of them all. You've shown me a love and understanding that I never thought possible."

"I feel the same, Daemon," you replied, your voice softening. "My initial reservations about our different Houses have melted away, and now I can't imagine my life without you."

As the relationship between Daemon and you grew more intense, so did the danger that came with it. The Targaryens and the Starks had been enemies for generations, and if the other Northern Houses found out about it, it could ignite a war.

Daemon knew that the love he had found was worth fighting for, even if it meant risking his life. When he demanded a marriage proposal, you hesitated at first, but then accepted. The wedding was a private affair, only attended by a few close friends and family members as they could not risk the public eye.

The night before the wedding, as you both sat hand in hand in the dimly lit chamber, Daemon looked at you with a mix of excitement and vulnerability. "Tomorrow, we'll be husband and wife," he said, his voice tinged with emotion.

You leaned closer to him, cupping his face with your hands. "I can't wait to take this step with you, Daemon. Despite all the challenges, our love has only grown stronger. I know in my heart that we're meant to be."

Daemon placed a gentle kiss on your forehead. "Together, we'll face whatever comes our way. We'll prove to our Houses and the world that love and unity are more powerful than the grudges of the past."

As the night drew on, you both found comfort in each other's arms, knowing that tomorrow would mark the beginning of a new chapter in your lives. Love had triumphed over all obstacles, and now you were ready to face the future together as husband and wife.

Years passed, and they grew old together, still very much in love and dedicated to their families and their shared heritage. Their love had been a flame that had never extinguished and had touched the hearts of countless people. They had broken the mold and rebuilt it, a symbol of hope and unity across Houses.

"You know," Daemon said, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear, "when I first saw you, I never thought that our love would face such challenges."

You looked up at him, a soft smile on your face. "Neither did I. But love has a way of defying expectations, doesn't it?"

Daemon chuckled, his eyes twinkling. "It certainly does. And I wouldn't have it any other way. I couldn't imagine my life without you by my side."

"I feel the same way," you replied, your voice filled with warmth. "But sometimes, I worry... What if our love isn't enough to bridge the divide between our Houses? What if it all comes crashing down?"

Daemon tightened his grip on your hand, his expression determined. "We can't dwell on 'what ifs,' my love. We have to focus on what we have now, the love we share. And if we believe in it with all our hearts, we can face anything together."

You nodded, feeling a renewed sense of strength. "You're right. Our love is strong, and it has already overcome so many obstacles. We'll face whatever comes our way, together."

As you both stood there, the snowy landscape around you, a gust of wind blew, sending a shiver down your spine. But you found solace in Daemon's presence, and in his unwavering love.

"Let's go inside," Daemon said, pulling you closer to him. "We'll face whatever challenges come our way, just as we have from the beginning. And no matter what happens, our love will always be worth fighting for."

And with those words, you both turned towards Winterfell, ready to continue your journey together, united against all odds. Love had indeed bridged the gap between Houses, and though the path ahead was uncertain, you knew that as long as you had each other, you could weather any storm.

[witch-isnt-an-insult]

[wanna start this by saying i am not indigenous, by heritage i am partially native. my mother who came from central america partially and my great grandmother who died before i could learn spainish left her tribe, and while i hold that ancestry with pride and i still consider it a part of my history that i hold close to my heart im not the most qualified to talk about this, im mostly echoing indigenous people who were raised with their culture and not disconnected and pointing out the similarities in zionist propaganda. if you have questions i recommend asking someone indigenous who grew up connected]

the fact that zionists (especially zionists in occupied Palestine) get jumpy when they hear “from the river to the sea” is so familiar to me as someone who’s partially native and lives in the US.

They think that living—not side by side with the Palestinian people caged in a concentration camp—but integrated with the same rights and privileges and it being Palestine and having a Palestinian government is somehow violent, and they think this because they weren’t peaceful themselves, they think that—even though hamas was created in defense and openly says they don’t have anything against jewish people, just the people occupying their land and oppressing them—that “isrealis” will be put in concentration camps and slaughtered and harvested the same way they did to Palestinians.

(im partially southern native, my ancestors were colonized by Spain while northern native americans were colonized by Britain but for the sake of this im mentioning both)

This is so familiar because euro-americans will say that native people are “savages” and “primitive” and bring up the mayan rituals and make stories about us being cannibals and inhumane when in fact they slaughtered and starved northern native americans, they fed our children to dogs, they ruined the land and brought over sicknesses that killed so many, and then tried to “kill the native and save the man” and assimilate us into a culture that wasn’t native to that place, and on and on and on. then when they traveled west and native americans fought to protect their lands they called us savages and today treat us as foreigners and poison the water in many reservations, they want us dead.

It’s mirrored, it’s so so similar.

another mirror is when you bring this up they mention human sacrifices—usually referring to mayans—and portray them as an irredeemable evil, they say this as if their ancestors didn’t kill ‘in the name of the lord’. “isreal” pink washes and tells queer people that they would ‘get killed’ if they ever went over and that they’re ‘so much better’. saying this when queer people can’t even get married. and both say this as if that generalization means they should be put to death. because they do not care, not even a little, they don’t wish they could go back in time and save the people who were sacrificed and they don’t want to save the queer people in Palestine (which i think is obvious by the fact they’re using that to indiscriminately slaughter an entire population of people, queer people included.)

I honestly think this is why you see so much solidarity between Palestinians and Native Americans.

just a thought.

[deadporg]

I feel like taking the DNA test made me think about how I've always felt detached from my Africaness. And don't get it twisted, not my blackness. Growing up in Atlanta, I've always had a strong understanding of being black, but Africa felt like such a foreign concept. In high school, we had a cultural day, and I decided to wear what I thought were "African clothes." My uncle's grandfather (not my great-grandfather) was a Pan-African and had recently passed. Throughout his life, he collected a lot of African attire to embrace his ethnic heritage. As a follower of Garvey, he came from probably the first mainstream wave of African Americans taking pride in their Africaness. He had clothes from Ghana, South Africa, Zimbabwe. I feel like there was less an emphasis on ethnic or tribal specificity due to colonization, and partially due to The West's portrayal of Africa being one large, homogenous mass, so he truly did embrace a pan-African aesthetic. Anyway, I was wearing his handed down African attire, along with a kente cloth. Power clashing despite my good intentions. I walked into AP Physics class, where majority of the black population were the children of African immigrants. They asked me the question I became very familiar with when I moved to New York, "What are you?" To which I responded, "Oh, I'm not African." A biracial Indian-Czech girl retorted with genuine confusion, "but you are though." To be honest, I was kinda annoyed by that response, but in a sense she's right. However at the same time she didn't completely understand where I was coming from. I am of African origin, but I'm not African. When I think back on my annoyance with her response, was I more perturbed by her willingness to speak in black people's business or the implication of me being African?

There is no secret that xenophobia is a prominent part of African American life, especially in areas where black immigrants are few and far between. Although I grew up with a strong pride in what it means to be black in America, it was still fair game to mock Africaness. Growing up being called African was an insult, from black children to other black children. I feel like the dissociation we had to our ethnic heritage mixed with the West's infantilization and exotification of Africa led to where most black people could acknowledge that's where we came from, but still viewed Africa as primitive and underdeveloped.

That moment in Physics class was when I realized that the black diaspora is very complex and unique from the diaspora of any other ethnic group. From my experience talking to first/second generation non-black Americans of color, the disconnection they feel with their ethnic or cultural origin is usually based in immigration and assimilation, but they still have a sense of knowing where their origins lie outside of America. They still have a connection to their homeland. For the black diaspora, immigration is still a large factor of the dispersement of black people, however, nearly every black person from the Americas was placed here against their will. Like for me, America is all I've got (which is so fucked up and grimy.) Even if I were to visit Nigeria one day, which I plan on doing eventually, I don't have any family or cultural ties to that region. They were stripped away from me hundreds of years ago. The more I think about it, it truly is so fucking sinister how Europeans did us. Like the next time white people complain about "blackwashing" or black people's "anger/attitude/tone" or general disdain for them, I want a white person to imagine if a family scooped up their family hundreds of years ago in broad daylight, stripped them of their language, culture, religion, and customs and forced them to adopt theirs. Then began treating their family like livestock, enslaving, beating, and assaulting them for hundreds of years. But even after your family is "freed" from slavery, the other family is rich off of the suffering of yours and continues to make life unreasonably difficult, continuing to treat your family as less than for the next hundred or so more years up until the present. Wouldn't it make sense to hold a grudge? Wouldn't it be at least reasonable to feel offended when they tell you "get over it, it was a long time ago?"

That right there is the worst thing about it, because of the evils of colonialism I am completely detached from my African origin and have over a quarter of European blood. Like I'm a person of African origin with a fucking European name. Every time I remember that I get so fucking angry.

[mybrainproblems]

many many selfish and unintelligible and conflicting and angry thoughts. i'm sorry. please ignore.

[that-spider-witch]

On “Dead” Cultures and Closed Spiritual Practices: Why Colonialism Is Still A Problem.

Let me start this by saying that, as far as my knowledge of Paganism and Polytheism as a whole goes, I’m what the internet witch community calls a “Baby Witch”. I’m stating this out of the gate because I know there will be lots of people, including witches who have more experience on the craft than me, who might decide to ignore what I have to say based on that fact alone, stating that I’m not knowledgeable enough to give my opinion about this.

Here’s the kicker: I’m a ‘baby witch’, yes, but I’m also a twenty-six year old Venezuelan woman. I’m an adult. I’m Latina. I’m a Christian-raised Pagan,but I’m also a Latinoamerican woman over all other things including that. I grew up on this culture, these are my roots. It is because of this background than I’m writing this post today.

Looking through the “Paganism” and “Witchcraft” tags of this website, I’ve seen a few posts throwing indigenous deities and spirits’ names around on lists alongside deties of open cultures. Yes, you can know better by doing your own research and not going by what just a random Tumblr user wrote on one post (as I hope its the case with everyone on this website), but the fact that pagan beginners are still getting fed misinformation is still worrisome to me.

There’s nothing like reading a so-called expert putting Ixchen (Maya), Xolotl (Nahuatl) and Papa Legba (Vodou) on the same damn list as Norse, Hellenic and Kemetic deities and tagging it on the tags aimed at beginners who might not know better to truly ruin your morning. I’m not mentioning user names here: If you know then you know.

To quote @the-illuminated-witch on her very good post about Cultural Appropriation: 

“Cultural appropriation is a huge issue in modern witchcraft. When you have witches using white sage to “smudge” their altars, doing meditations to balance their chakras, and calling on Santa Muerte in spells, all without making any effort to understand the cultural roots of those practices, you have a serious problem.

When trying to understand cultural appropriation in witchcraft, it’s important to understand the difference between open and closed magic systems. An open system is one that is open to exchange with outsiders — both sharing ideas/practices and taking in new ones. In terms of religion, spirituality, and witchcraft, a completely open system has no restrictions on who can practice its teachings. A closed system is one that is isolated from outside influences — usually, there is some kind of restriction on who can practice within these systems.”

A counter-argument I’ve seen towards this when someone wants to appropiate indigenous deities and spirits is to use the “dead culture” argument: Extinct cultures are more eligible for use by modern people of all stirpes. It is a dead culture and dead religion. It would be one thing if some part of the culture or religion was still alive, being used by modern descendants, but the culture died out in its entirety and was replaced, right? They were all killed by colonization, they are ancient history now, right?

Example: “If white people are worshipping Egyptian deities now, then why can’t I worship [Insert Aborigen Deity Here]?”

To which I have two things to say:

Ancient Egypt’s culture was open and imperialistic, meaning they wanted their religion to be spread. This is why Kemetism is not Cultural Appropriation, despite what some misinformed people might tell you. Similar arguments can also be made for the Hellenic and the Norse branches of Paganism, both practiced by people who aren’t Greek/Norse.

Who are you to say which cultures are “dead” and which are not?

Religious practices such as Vodou and Santería certainly aren’t dead, not that it keeps some Tumblr users from adding Erzuli as a “goddess” on their Baby Witch post, something that actual Vodou practitioners have warned against.

Indigenous cultures such as the Maya and the Mapuche aren’t dead, despite what the goverment of their countries might tell you. The Mapuche in particular have a rich culture and not one, but two witchcraft branches (The Machi and the Kalku/Calcu). Both are closed pagan practices that the local Catholic Church has continuously failed to assimilate and erase, though sadly not for lack of trying:

“The missionaries who followed the Spanish conquistadors to America incorrectly interpreted the Mapuche beliefs regarding both wekufes and gualichos. They used the word wekufe as a synonym for ideas of the devil, demons, and other evil or diabolical forces. This has caused misunderstanding of the original symbolism and has changed the idea of wekufe right up to the present day, even amongst the Mapuche people.”

For context, the Wefuke are the Calcu’s equivalent of the Familiar, as well as reportedly having more in common with the Fae than with demons anyway.

This and other indigenous religions are Closed because it is wrong for foreigners to just come and take elements from marginalized groups whom are still fighting to survive and that they weren’t born into. To just approppiate those things would be like spitting in their faces, treating them and their culture like a commodity, a shiny thing, a unique thing to be used like paint to spruce up your life or be special.

I know some of you are allergic to the word “Privilege”, but on this situation there really ain’t a better word to explain it. You weren’t born here, you don’t know what it is like, you are only able to see the struggle from an outsider’s point of view.

If a belief or practice is part of a closed system, outsiders should not take part in it. And with how many practices there are out there which are open for people of all races, there is really no excuse for you to do it.

Why Colonization Is Not “Ancient History”

If you have kept reading all this so far, you are probably wondering “Ok, but what does Colonization has to do with any of this?”

The answer? Everything.

With the general context of culture appropriation out of the way, let me tell you about why the whole “dead culture” argument rubs me the wrong way: Here in Venezuela, we have a goddess called Santa Maria de la Onza, or Maria Lionza for short, whom’s idol statue I have been using to illustrate this little rant. If you happen to know any Spanish, you might recognize the name as a derivative of Santa Maria, aka the Virgin Mary, and you are mostly correct: Her true indigenous name is theorized to have been Yara.

And I say “theorized” because it is a subject of hot debate whether she was really ever called that or not: Her original name, the name by which she was adored and worshipped by our ancestors, might have been forever lost to history.

That’s the legacy of colonization for you: Our cultures were stolen from us, and what they couldn’t erase they instead tried to assimilate. Our ancestors were enslaved, their lands and homes stolen, their artwork and literary works destroyed: The Maya and the Aztec Empire were rich in written works of all kinds, ranging from poetry to history records to medicine, and the Spaniards burned 99% of it, on what is probably one of the most tragic examples of book burning in history and one that people rarely ever talk about. 

People couldn’t even worship their own gods or pass their knowledge of them to their children. That’s why Maria Lionza has such a Spanish Catholic-sounding name, and that’s why we can’t even be sure if Yara was her name or not: The Conquistadors couldn’t steal our goddess from us, so they stole her name instead. Catholics really have a thing with trying to assimilate indigenous goddesses with the Virgin Mary, as they tried to do the same with the Pachamama.

On witchy terms, I’d define Maria Lionza as both a deity and a land spirit: Most internet pages explaining her mention the Sorte mountain as her holy place, but it is more along the lines that she is the mountain. 

You’d think that, with Venezuela and other Latinoamerican countries no longer being colonies, we’d be able to worship our own deities including her, right?

As far as a lot of Catholics seem to think and act, apparently we are not.

The Catholics here like to go out of their way to shame us, to call us “cultists”, to ostracize us, with a general call to “refrain from those pagan beliefs” because they go against the Catholic principles. Yes, the goddess with the Catholic-sounding name, a name she happens to share with a Catholic deity, apparently goes “against Catholic principles”. You really can’t make this shit up. (Linked article is in Spanish)

This is just an act of colonization out of many, of not wanting to stop until the culture they want to destroy is gone. Don’t believe for a second that this is really their God’s will or anything like that, they are just trying to finish what years of enslavement and murder couldn’t. They might not be actively killing us anymore, but they still want us dead.

So no, colonization is not some thing that has long passed and now only exist on history textbooks: It is still happening to this day. It is by treating it as old history that they can keep doing it, and it is by pushing the narrative that our indigenous cultures are “dead cultures” that they try to erase our heritage.

Because we are not dead. We are still here, we are alive, we have survived and we’ll keep on surviving, and our gods and goddesses are not yours to take.

¡Chao! 🐈

[usnatarchives]

BLUE XMAS for Native Americans

"Children at Dinner Table, Christmas," Pine Ridge Reservation SD, 1935, NARA ID 12464694.

Mandatory Xmas Cheer: Toxic Positivity circa 1933 By Miriam Kleiman, Public Affairs

Office of Indian Affairs "The Mission Indian," newsletter, 12/1933, NARA ID 176414689.

The government's efforts to forcibly assimilate Native Americans included mandatory Christmas activities, as outlined by John W. Dady, Superintendent of the Mission Indian Agency. To help children achieve the "full measure of happiness and merriment" Dady advised:

MANDATORY GRATITUDE to:

"Our wonderful President who is doing his best to bring back... prosperity and good will."

"Our sympathetic, thoughtful and courageous Commissioner of Indian Affairs who is doing his part to make the Indian people happy."

And to those on the reservations for the "commendable spirit of co-operation... in our efforts to make you happy, contented and successful."

XMAS MERRIMENT ON RESERVATIONS to include:

A community Christmas tree "on every Reservation"

A "committee of women" to handle decorations and gifts

"Singing groups" to sing Christmas carols "thus expressing in song and music, our joy and happiness at the Holy and Merry festival of Christmas."

Christmas at Rosebud Reservation Indian Hospital (SD), 1945, NARA ID 41089564

"Bringing in the Christmas Tree", NARA ID 35295411.

Mission Indian newsletter 12/1937, NARA ID 176415060.

John W. Dady, "Dady has entered the California Mission Indian work with intentions to carry out the 'new deal' promised for Native Americans by John Collier." LA Times, 8/3/1933.

Such instruction was part of a "reeducation"/assimilation campaign that included the forced, systematic removal of Native children from their families starting in 1879. A 1969 Senate report underscored the results. Indian Education: A National Tragedy, a National Challenge (AKA "the Kennedy Report", Special Subcommittee on Indian Education).

The National Archives holds hundreds of thousands of records relating to Native Americans, including every treaty, records from the Bureau of Indian Affairs and Indian Census Rolls. Archivist of the United States David S. Ferriero has stressed the importance of making these records widely available in order to "raise and increase awareness of Native American history." See his ongoing blog series that "acknowledges the ancestral lands on which the National Archives’ buildings are situated across the country." The Archivist explained why this is a priority:

I grew up in Massachusetts, a state with lots of Native American heritage, and used to walk the edge of a local lake collecting arrowheads. So it was from childhood on that I had an interest in those that were here first. Of all the things we have custody of and are responsible for—even the Charters of Freedom—I believe the treaties with the Indian nations are the most valuable documents in terms of reading the original language and the government promises, and realizing what was never delivered. I have had opportunities, as members of tribal elders or tribal lawyers have come to visit, to join them in the vault as they experience the same things...

Now, many more descendants of the original peoples can examine the names and seals and read the words set down by their ancestors so long ago. But more than that, the treaties are still relevant today as tribal leaders and lawyers continue to use them to assert their rights in court, such as in cases over land and water rights. With such increased access to these records, we plan to continue and increase our educational outreach to Native American communities, and to raise and increase awareness of Native American history.

See also:

Native American Treaties Now Online for the First Time

Online: Photos from the Bureau of Indian Affairs

Administrative Records Related to American Indian Schools

Student Case Files from Non-Reservation Boarding Schools

Navigating Record Group 75: BIA Schools

The Power of American Indian Boarding School Records, Pieces of History

Mellon Foundation and National Archives to Support Expansion of Cultural Diversity in American History

[sereniv]

Hello there!! I hope your day is going well. I hope this isn’t overstepping any boundaries, and I genuinely apologize if it is, but I’m a person with Yaqui heritage really really wanting to reconnect, although I’m not entirely sure if I have a right to it. Though it was at first a family story that I took with a grain of salt, but further digging into family history shows that a LOT adds up (i.e. my ancestors are from Sonora, ended up in southern Arizona for a time, and family records I’ve tracked down online all say that almost my ancestors on my grandma’s side were Yaqui (and the ones who aren’t are still almost all recorded to have belonged to other Indigenous Mexican tribes.)

I do recognize that you’re only one person and cannot be a mouthpiece for every Yaqui, and I absolutely intend on contacting family members who may have more insight prior to actually contacting the tribe, but at the same time, I don’t want to get too invested in reconnecting if it isn’t my place to do so. Since you’re reconnected/reconnecting yourself, I thought maybe you might have some knowledge on whether or not one needs to have an direct(?) ancestor that was connected/enrolled/etc, and if this ancestor needs to go back only a certain amount of time before you kinda start to push it, as it were. Any insight you have on reconnection as a Yaqui in general would be unbelievably helpful, truly. Thank you so much in advance for your time, and please take care and stay safe out there.

Hi! thanks for reaching out :)

definitely like you said i am one person, but ill just go off of my experience, as one should do

So how i see it, and a lot of the Yaqui and rest of indian country agree, is basically claiming your heritage and tribe is less about blood and more about connecting and the community.

It can be complicated especially for those like the black slaves owned by some native tribes being able to claim their tribe (i believe they have the right to). This would be a case where there is no blood relation, but either cultural or historical relation. If they give back to the community, if they connect, if they learn the language, and everything that points to them BEING part of that tribe, than i say they are.

its not about words and titles and blood, its about being.

There are tribes that have adopted non natives and those non natives are able to claim that tribe. every situation is different.

but what i always tell people is: ignore blood, ignore everything and ask yourself why you would want to claim being native or claim being Yaqui. And how do you feel when you dont claim it? Does it feel no different either way or does it feel like youre lying to people?

I didnt grow up with our Yaqui culture (itom Hiak Lutu'uria). I grew up white. i look white. I have that white privilege and i dont deny it and i dont want it ignored bc its important for me to understand where i fit in society and different communities. and i dont want people to think im trying to pretend im not white or have that privilege. bc im not. I identify as Italian and Yaqui, White and Native, or just mixed. though i feel more comfortable saying Yaqui then native.

For me what is most important is connection and remembering people who came before me. And the fact that they assimilated. i struggled with identity growing up. Its not about claiming native, but its about giving back to the community and learning our Yaqui language (itom Hiak Nooki) and connecting with people.

I feel like an outsider and thats okay. because i am, even if the community accepts me which they do. You have to accept that you might have one foot in and one foot out but that doesnt make you less, its just a reality. you just have to figure where your place in the community is. go off of your experiences

I do what i can and i get involved when I can, and it never feels like enough. But it is. Because the alternative is not doing anything. not trying.

And when it comes to heritage, you are able to acknowledge it and give back to the community and be involved without claiming it. its hard to explain, but basically what i tell people is (especially if white) to focus on their "white" cultures first. Italian, irish, norwegian, etc.

because a lot of white people see those as a default. As "just' white. And then they see they are "part poc" and that seems like the only thing thats worth connecting.

but every culture has music and food and history and language to explore. and when you find love and pride in that, then sometimes people come to the conclusion that claiming native isnt right for them. that acknowledging it is enough.

its hard to explain the difference between claiming and simply acknowledging, but for me, claiming is work. its what reconnecting is. its actively BEING. its learning the language, history, talking with people but above all knowing that you are Yaqui. it is forefront, it is who you are, and its a feeling youll know if you have it.

otherwise theres nothing wrong with acknowledging your ancestors struggles, and being proud of your heritage and even supporting the tribe.

Im proud of being Yaqui bc of the people, the language is beautiful, the history is powerful. As i am with being Italian and the music and language and food. I have always loved being Italian even though i didnt grow up with the culture.

So before reconnecting sit down with yourself and think about what reconnecting means to you. why is it important? and is it effort youre willing to put in- not as forceful effort, but natural effort. You shouldnt be pushing yourself to reconnect, it shouldnt be a checklist or chore. it should just be something that comes naturally. like, a no brainer effort if that makes sense

In all, you are allowed to reconnect and youre allowed to just acknowledge. its up to you to figure out who you are in that regard. are you Yaqui or do you have Yaqui heritage

its ok to feel outside even when youre reconnecting. be yourself. for example, because of the history, Yaqui religion is both spiritual and catholic. i dont force myself to try and believe anything i dont already believe. because i dont need to do that.

I could go on and on but dm me if you want! im always down to talk. sorry this is so long and if i forgot anything or didnt answer something

[bondsmagii]

sounds like the problem with those people jumping on you for that book review is that, well, us americans don’t conceive of ireland or irish people as oppressed. as a people who are indigenous to their own country and being oppressed by external invaders, the connection doesn’t occur to them. because irish americans are their frame of reference, and most of them are assimilated and respected in their own country, and at times the source of racism or ignorance towards others. irish history, suppression of irish culture, even recent irish history, are just. Not talked about. if you even tried to mention it to these people, they would not understand. saying this as someone with irish background in the us, it’s a shame but it sounds like this lack of information is these people’s main problem. they see a userpic or the word irish and connect it with us irish descendants, and none of that context, and don’t understand.

undoubtedly that has something to do with it. I've bitched about that before, actually -- I cannot tell you the amount of times I've mentioned I'm Irish, and had Americans begin to lecture me as a fellow American. in fact, on this very same review, somebody responded and said "I am also a white settler", and I had to explain that when I said I was Irish, I meant I was Irish, and grew up in the country, and was actually from Ireland. the fact that when I state my nationality online I have to confirm that I'm literally from that country is infuriating, but that's a rant for another day.

I know that this is probably controversial, but at this point, Irish-Americans are not Irish in the same sense they used to be. this isn't to say that the struggles of their ancestors aren't just as heartbreaking, nor is it to say that back in Ireland we shun the diaspora, but it is to say that if their great-great grandparents came over on the boat in the late 1800s or whatever, they're not Irish. they're American, with Irish heritage. this is a basic distinction that I think needs to be more thoroughly acknowledged, because there's a difference between having heritage and being from a place -- and this also works in reverse. if you're born and raised in Ireland, for example, or you come to Ireland for university, and you make a home there and you identify with the culture, you're Irish regardless of the colour of your skin or your genetic heritage. but note the difference -- you're in the country. the idea that someone from America, who has never set foot in the country and whose only link is a single relative four generations back, is just as Irish as I am? it's ridiculous, and I resent this attitude because it leads to shit like what you outlined.

for most Americans, Irish history is something their grandpa tells them at family weddings or dinners or whatever. and there's a lot to be proud of, and a lot to be resentful of. but what a lot of Americans -- Irish-Americans included -- don't understand is that the kind of oppression and atrocities that were happening way back when are still happening, and there are plenty of people online, like me, who have lived through the very real effects. when we then get lectured by a foreigner, on our own history, as though it's ancient history and not still ongoing... it's inexcusable. I've noticed an extreme ignorance in Americans over European culture, history, and issues, and a lot of the things that are said about us would be deemed outright racist if said to anyone who wasn't comfortably white: the idea that the Irish can't be racially stereotyped or weren't oppressed; the constant ridicule of working-class English accents; the preposterous idea that Italians have no idea what fascism is. if this level of ignorance and ridicule was levelled at somebody with darker skin there would be an uproar. the double standards absolutely infuriate me.

sorry to go off, but this is something that I've had to put up with for years and years, and now it's got to the point where I can't even dislike a book without having my nationality (and therefore ignorance) assumed, or my own oppression thrown back in my face. this isn't ancient history; this is trauma I live with daily. I know that things are different in the states, and that a lot of people don't conceive of such things; I'm aware of the relationship between Irish-Americans and the NYPD and the horrific ties to systematic racism there; I understand this will colour views. but I know this about America -- why do Americans not take the same initiative with other countries? I could excuse ignorance twenty, thirty years ago, but with the whole internet out there, and real-life Irish people like me kicking around, there's no excuse for this kind of laziness.

[hunterguyveriv]

Native American Heritage Day and what it means to me

Osiyo brothers and sisters. I want to wish you all an uneventful Native American Heritage Day.

Whether you are a pure blood, half blood, or mixed. From the Arctic Circle to the Islands to the tip of Argentina. Straight, gay, lesbian, trans. Apache, Comanche, Inuit, Cherokee, Choctaw, Crow, Mohawk, Lenape, Cheyenne, Sioux, and so forth we are still brothers and sisters upon Turtle Island.

Take time to honor your ancestors for without them and their sacrifices we would not be here today. Honor those who are lost to generations of hiding and those who found their heritage. Honor those who are missing and those lost to cracks of time. Those who know of and fought to keep their culture/language/art/traditions and those who through forced assimilation had to lose it. Those who were born and raised on the reservation and those who live in the cities.

Through the darkest moments of human history, we are still here. We are still fighting for our right to live and be respected. We may seem to be invisible, when it comes to minority rights, but we shall endure because we are resilient. We owe it to our ancestors to continue our fight. We are NOT invisible and we will not go away.

Last month, a store Co-Mananger approached me and informed me that for this month they are doing spotlight interviews of those who are Native in the company and consider it. I told him I would think about it, but truth be told I don't know much of my heritage to do something like an interview.

See I am one of those who is a mixed blood. I get my Native blood from my father who some would call a Black-Indian and my Irish blood from my mother. I identify as mixed, but in my 19 years of working retail/grocery I have had many full-bloods ask me who my people were. I told them and many of them said "I look as a full blood" or that "my blood sang to them."

Many have asked what it means to be Native, and for me personally it is being acceptance. Those customers told me being a mix doesn't make me any less of a Native than someone who is full blooded. My family even befriended a Mohawk/Abanaki family and grew close too. They accepted us more so then family members on either side. Or peers I grew up with. Something which meant more then one could imagine when you are neither "white enough" for some. Or "black enough" for acknowledging the Native heritage.

Our heritage makes us who we are, and we must never let it go.

[jelan-bike]

Hate to be whiny and complaining, but I'm tired because this happens every fucking time and last one was so ironic and sad. I'm tired of this denial and defensiveness.

What happened? Generally I just voiced my thoughts saying that while we have to acknowledge and understand that Russian colonialism and imperialism wasn't harmless and peaceful at all and there was a lot of conscious erasing of indigenous cultures, hating and demonizing a whole Russian ethnicity and making every single ethnicity Russian person inherently evil is absolutely inappropriate and it simply doesn't help(which I know from my own experience that instead of solving the problem it just promotes emotional conflict and people get further from listening and understanding each other. Hatred and anger never helps).

How did people react? Dozens of people got defensive and started denying that Russian colonialism was harmfull in any kind of ways and if Russians had anything to do with indigenous cultures being erased. It's all our fault that we chose the title culture and forget our own and they only brought us civilization.

And my favorite part was "Maybe you just don't have any culture?". Most of these people never bother themselves learning anything outside their own or European culture in school curriculum. So whenever you talk about that you cannot find the books written by your people and about your people, they say with "Maybe your people just weren't developed enough to have literature?" The funniest thing is that we had plenty of writers and poets. But they're not really published. If you don't know something it doesn't mean that doesn't exist.

I tried to explain. I told the story of my own family and the situation place where we live. When my parents grew up when being non-russian wasn't very socialy accepted. They were mocked for their names. Speaking your native language was considered being uneducated. Identifying with your culture and practicing it (not even mention being proud of it) was considered backward, archaic, rural, nationalistic. It still is. My father is half Tatar and was brought up by Tatar mother and grandparents. But he doesn't identify himself as one as he is ashamed of it. So my parents didn't learn their language and heritage, only mother knows the language a little bit from talking to her parents, I don't know either. I don't live in my national republic. I live in a neighbor one, Bashkortostan. When I studied in school we had Bashkir language and History & Culture classes. Formally. The teacher didn't have any special education. She kept telling us real life stories that had nothing to do with the subject or told us how bad is to hate Russians. Right, interethnic conflicts and racism are disgusting, but we didn't learn the subject we were supposed to. When part of my family moved to Moscow because I entered the University, we couldn't find and apartment for rent because 'slavs only' and our names are turkic. That's my life experience. That's my parents life experience. "But you're blatantly lying. That's some nonsense". Probably that's the only thing you can reply when someone's life experience is different from yours and doesn't fit your picture of the world.

However I completely understand that assimilation and erasure of indigenous cultures is a complex phenomenon. It's not solely on purpose, it's also a natural event when a major and a minor cultures coexist. A lot of young people just don't see any necessary I presevring their culture, in the mere existence of it: "I'd better learn English and immigrate". And that exists among both Russian and indigenous people. The only difference is that Russian kids grow up in their culture, taught it, have books, know their history, they don't have to make a single effort in knowing their culture and have a choice whether to preserve their culture or not. We simply don't have a chance.

I also understand that there are reasons behind people being so defensive and denying. They grow up hearing the glorification on Russian imperialism, glorification of how all nations are equal in this country. Most of them have no idea of what happened and what's happening. In 90's when USSR fell apart ethnic Russians faced a lot of discrimination and hatred in ex-soviet republics. Add to this the explicitly negative western propaganda(which is shitty in several ways). This resulted into people taking any kind of criticism towards Russians as rusophobia and fueling an interethnic conflict.

So I say how I said before: hating and dehumanizing the whole ethnicity is never okay. As well as it's not okay to deny the mistakes that your people has made and get defensive when a person who suffered from these mistakes is trying to point on them without any hostility. There is nothing great about your nation if you idealize yourself and if you're not able to acknowledge your mistakes. And I'm tired of this denial and defensiveness, when I'm considered an enemy and a liar just for speaking out about the experience of my family. And I'm sorry it took so long.

[katarascape]

Do you mind talking about what its like being indigenous in Australia? I’m curious because I know nothing about Australia.

not at all! sorry this has taken me so long too, i nearly had it done and then tumblr deleted it and i spent quite some time shrieking in frustration over it.

anyway. i must preface this with the fact that i’m white-passing and this informs basically every aspect of my experience as an aboriginal person in australia, but it also puts me at an advantage and privilege because i look white.

if i had to compare us to any other group i’d say we have it a lot like indigenous americans do. even though we were only colonised 200 years ago most of our languages and traditions and knowledge have been decimated. many of us now live in cities or suburbs and look just like any standard white person.

in school i was taught that indigenous australians had died out “naturally” decades before i was born. this was despite the fact that my school had a fairly large population of indigenous students, aboriginal and torres strait islander both.

it’s only in the last few years that i’ve started seeing aboriginal characters in australian tv and movies, and even then a lot of it is magical black kid stereotypes. 

those of us who do ‘look’ indigenous are also commonly referred to as black even though we’ve never had many similarities to the peoples of africa.

like i don’t want to go into too much detail because it’s really hard to deal with sometimes but the way we’ve been treated historically and still are treated today is horrendous. like my grandad and his siblings grew up in the prime of the stolen generations era, which is pretty horrifying in some cases and was when children of indigenous and white parents were stolen and ‘raised’ by the government (follow the rabbit-proof fence is a beautiful book and movie of the true escape of some young girls from a mission and i highly recommend reading it if straight non-fiction is too much straight up), but possibly the only reason my grandad and his siblings weren’t stolen and separated and were lucky enough to grow up with their family, is that my great-grandmother managed to assimilate them well enough that the government passed them over.

my grandad was the youngest so he doesn’t really remember it, but when he was very young, they were raised as traditionally as could be managed. eating a lot of bushfoods like lots of native fruit and veg, things like kangaroo and goanna (which is a kind of large lizard) before they firmly assimilated to survive, as was common for many, many people.

it’s more common for aboriginal people to live more traditionally the further north-west you go in australia, simply because much of that part of australia is hot and dry and white people don’t like that. they colonised along the coast first which is why most of australia’s population is concentrated in the south-east where all the nice beaches and snow fields and stuff are, and that’s basically why our coastal tribes have suffered so much in the face of colonisation.

i don’t really know how but i’ve met a decent handful of white-passing indigenous people who are shockingly wealthy. like yknow generations of lawyers and doctors and things. i don’t understand how it’s managed to happen.

anyway. most of us you’ll find have been stuck in generations of poverty and addiction and varying kinds of abuse. also none of us on financial assistance are rich from it, we’re just as badly off as white people on assistance and also the thing about poverty is that it’s a generational thing. like if you have no money it’s because your parents had none, and their parents had none, and their parents had none, and their parents were denied it because the people in power were racist.

um i’m really rambling.

like all around it’s a pretty bum deal, i constantly feel like i’m too white but not white enough, the people who could have taught me when i was young refused to because we look white, it wasn’t until the late 90s early 2000s that australia actually acknowledged the fact that the colonial state did their best to commit genocide against us and people still refuse to believe it even though there are people who lived through it still alive and only like 60 years old.

just. yeah.

also lol there’s the fact that uhh i’ve been mocked for being proud of my heritage as ‘oh you’re one of the uwu i’m a special weshul white girl’ by white people who’ll crow about being fuckin uh irish 20 generations ago or something as if that makes them special or something.

if i’ve missed anything you were curious about just say so and i’ll do my best to cover it for you :)

[shoplifting]

We know how to say our names; you should, too.

By Oluyemisi Ayoyinka Bolonduro

My name is Oluyemisi Ayoyinka Bolonduro (Oh-lou-yem-ih-see / Eye-yo-yeen-kah / Bo-lawn-doo-row). But for all of K-12 I went by a nickname. It made my presence simpler for others and allowed for easy assimilation. I even memorized my order in class to avoid embarrassing moments where my name was butchered during attendance. If I wasn’t proactive, the misnaming would be followed by bouts of laughter, the kind of microaggression all too familiar to many Black kids.

I didn’t stop my peers from calling me “Hennessy” a liquor popularly associated with Black Americans as explained by Taylor Crumpton’s piece,“How Hennessy Found a Home in the Black Community.” I never drank in high school so my peers found the irony entertaining. I was their entertainment.

Instead of standing up for myself, I remained the recipient of jokes I never thought were funny. It’s strange to think that I spent eighteen years presented as someone who isn’t me. I often wonder why I never questioned the implications of my nicknames. Now, I go by my full name, but I still struggle to pause conversations to correct mispronunciations of it.

I’m not alone in being misnamed. In fact, there are people who’ve written about it. In their editorial “Naming Ourselves and Others,” Rivera Maulucci and Felicia Moore Mensah say, “from a Western perspective, naming is about knowing and defining the Other.” Ruchika Tulshyan’s article “If You Don’t Know How to Say Someone’s Name, Just Ask” refers to a study that concluded that mispronouncing names causes shame and dissociation from one’s culture. “How to Respect My Ethnic Name” by Anpu London is a guide that also explores the history and role of colonization in stripping people of their ethnic names. Duke University explored the causes of misnaming, suggesting that mix-ups occur within the same relationship categories: friend, family, colleague. Phonetic similarity is a cause as well, but not physical similarity. So, what does it mean if you meet me as a complete stranger with the first Yoruba name you’ve heard? What’s the excuse for addressing me incorrectly?

The culture of Yoruba people is found in West Africa. My connection to the language and lifestyle is through my Nigerian parents. Growing up, I liked to say that my parents somehow managed to fit the whole country into our home. My childhood dinners were almost always Nigerian; I will never say no to egusi soup and eba. Also, we regularly attended social gatherings in native attire (though I still can’t tie a gele). I grew up speaking English and Yagba, a dialect of the Yoruba language. I can’t say my pronunciation is perfect, even the name drop I provided earlier lacks the proper accents.

My favorite thing is when someone sees my name and instantly recognizes the culture behind it. My life in the States has prevented me from knowing everyday Nigerian knowledge, but I still feel like I’m aware of my heritage. Hearing my name spoken correctly reaffirms that confidence.

If you meet someone with a name you’re unfamiliar with, here are my suggestions for learning how to pronounce their name correctly, right from the start:

1. Intentionally listen to how they pronounce their name when you meet.

2. Ask them to pronounce it again, if necessary. It’s up to you to remember how to say it.

3. Don’t ask for alternative ways to address them.

4. Check the spelling of their name.

5. Never say their name is “exotic.”

6. Don’t feign an accent from the country you think their name comes from.

7. Follow up about someone’s preferred name if you learned a nickname before their full name.

If you can relate to my story, I hope the name you’ve picked is truly yours. Ask yourself if it’s your preference or a convenience for someone else.

How do you make that change? You can start small and build up. I started going by Oluyemisi in college. I introduced myself with my full name in the new environment, but people from home still used my nickname. A year later, I started telling those from home to use my full name. It’s likely you’ll be met with hostility and/or entitlement. People may question your decision as if they have a right to say who you are and what your name is. They may think they’re excluded from the number of people who have to use your full name because they’ve known you for so long. You’ll quickly find out who’s willing to do the bare minimum to respect you and your name.

When it comes to correcting people, don’t give them the easy way out by soothing their guilt. As someone who often puts others first, it’s easy to “shrink [myself] for someone else’s comfort,” as artist and “Recipes for Self Love” author Alison Rachel puts it. Knowing and establishing my boundaries is hard. But I’m fulfilled when I stand firm about my name. It feels like I’m finally reclaiming a part of myself that I was forced to hide all these years.

Translated from Yoruba, Oluyemisi Ayoyinka Bolonduro means “God Honors Me / Joy Surrounds Me / Abide With God.” My name should be spoken correctly, with respect. I am proud of my name, and I am proud of the story, culture, and power behind it.

[anchanted-one]

Independence Day

Today is India's Independence Day, so I thought I'd take a bit to gush about my country.

Warning, I'm not taking much time to compose this. It's unscripted.

India is among the ancients of ancient civilization, with some ruins of the famous Indus Valley dating back farther than 5000 BC. Evidence exists of its trade with faraway Egypt And Mesopotamia, and although their writing still hasn't been deciphered (and may never be) some of its pantheon (a pastoral version of Shiva) as well as elements such as a ritual fire pit (yajna kund) show that parts of its old old culture were assimilated into it's successor-- the Vedic culture, which exists to this day.

But the Indus Valley is only one part of ancient India. 

There are cities submerged under the sea in South India, drowned when water levels rose. These settlements are also at least as old as the Indus Valley, and South India itself has also boasted a long and colorful culture, which at once is similar to that in North India, yet different too. For instance, there are a different family of languages in South India, which might be indigenous to India: Tamil (probably the oldest language in India, and maybe the oldest still-spoken language of the civilized world), Kannada, Telugu, and Malayalam, to name a few. Their ancient architecture was distinct, with tall tiered roofs adorned with painted statues and reliefs

South Indian people also look very different from North Indian people. Darker of skin, thick and curly hair more aboriginal in 

And there is a third ethnic group of Indians too, a group one does not quite associate with India: the Naga peoples of Northeastern India. In physical appearance as well as cultural, traditional, and aesthetic, they look Tibetan, or even Chinese

The Naga are known more for their intricate weaving, jewelry, and distinctive art than temples and monuments like South and Central India, but that doesn’t make them any less an integral part of Indian heritage!

I’ve saved the most famous for last: the Empire-builders of Central India, called “Indo-Aryans” (problematic much?) by some scholars to this day. Normally when someone says “Indian”, they are closest to the image that pops up in most minds. 

The basic theory of the Indo-Aryan Migration is sound (though hotly contested in India, probably because of the ‘Aryan’ bit, something which even Hitler was known to have endorsed); it proposes an Indo-Iranian lineage which migrated in from—you guessed it!—Iran during the Bronze Age Collapse. Our languages certainly do share a root with Iranian cultures, though some argue that the migration happened from India, not to. There are other counter theories to the Migration theory too, but that’s a rabbit hole I’d rather not crawl into.

What I can say for certain is that some of the most famous Emperors of India originate here, including Ashoka the Great, who was possibly the biggest factor in the spread of Buddhism.

And while Dravidian peoples also have a rich tradition of poetry and literature, the most iconic of Indian texts come from Central India: the Vedas—are our socio-religious texts, and Ramayana and Mahabharata—our great epics.

Science and Math were not too shabby in india either, though that’s perhaps too vast a discussion for anyone but a better read person to dive into.

Indian Religion is largely Hinduism, though Christianity, Islam, Zoroastrianism, Buddhism, Jainism, Sikhism and others also exist here. As with the science bit, I think the specifics are too much to talk about without a few months of research first.

India was a center of trade of the world for millennia, exporting spices, incense, textiles, precious stones, herbs, and exotic animals. Not to mention skill. Indeed, Carthage once imported Indian elephant handlers, and used their expertise to build their own army of elephants, which would later be used famously by Hannibal Barca. All this in exchange for gold and silver, so much that Pliny the Elder once complained about it

India, China and the Arabian peninsula take one hundred million sesterces from our empire per annum at a conservative estimate: that is what our luxuries and women cost us. For what fraction of these imports is intended for sacrifices to the gods or the spirits of the dead?

— Pliny, Historia Naturae 12.41.84.

Small wonder then, that India grew wealthy over the centuries; and that this wealth made it a prize for invaders and colonizers. Most famous of which would be the British Raj.

Much of India’s wealth and prestige was lost under colonial rule, and misrule by East India Companies and later the British Empire saw a rich land slowly sucked dry. Small wonder that India was fighting for its independence since 1857. Didn’t happen until much later; India was a colony during both World Wars, sending people and materials. But once the Second War ended even Britain had lost the power to hold on to India and in 1947, they granted us independence. Grudgingly. On the way out they generously forgave their own massive debt to us, divided the country into India and Pakistan, and left with a wink. The India then stood on a precarious position, but since then we have recovered well. India is again home to a major economy today, and a hub for science and technology; most recent accomplishments include landing a craft on Mars, and a failed probe to the moon. 

Today we are celebrating our 74th Independence day, and despite a shitty 2020, things aren’t looking too gloomy. Unless this year has some even more painful surprises in store for us yet, I think our nation will continue to grow and change.

[lessthanthreeman]

Personal Post

I just wanted to write this because it’s been on my mind and I find it frustrating how few resources there seem to be about it. With Cinco de Mayo coming up, and Latino media being all around, I’m reminded that I’m technically of mixed descent, which to be clear, I’m pretty proud of. I was raised by my mother and her side of the family who are white through and through so for a majority of my life that’s what I identified as and where a lot of my mannerisms and cultural understanding comes from. I imagine it was probably for the best, particularly growing up on Long Island, especially considering I am VERY white passing.

I never met my father (who was Puerto Rican [though later DNA tests on myself reveal that genetically speaking he was predominantly Spanish, so white Hispanic)] and have no desire to. Literally, the extent of my knowledge about him is that he was ethnically Puerto Rican to some capacity. I genuinely believed that women just got immaculately pregnant on their own until I was 7 as I just assumed I didn’t have a father (it’s somewhat embarrassing to admit, even if I was young and how was I supposed to know? I didn’t understand what was so special about the story of Mary for a long time to put it mildly.).

I remember the night I found out so vividly. I was at a sports practice and the kids were talking about their dads. I proclaimed that I didn’t have one. One of the older kids informed me that that was impossible. I was honestly offended and went to our coach, who I assume didn’t know how to respond or why I would even ask (I don’t blame him), so he told me that I definitely have a father. Again, outraged, when I got back home I asked my mother about it who told me that I did have a father.I asked “Well if I have a father, that means I must be half something else” as she had grown up telling me her half and that the other half was “American” because I was born in America (lmao). She told me that I was Puerto Rican, which I didn’t have a problem with. I didn’t even know where that was (and I guess by some technicalities, she wasn’t wrong in saying I was “American”, just “American Territory”) so that was of little impact to me. I was furious that whoever my father was chose to have no part in my life and I felt nothing but bitterness, so when she asked if I wanted to know more about him, I said no. I still like to keep it that way if I’m being honest. I am still bitter and if the little snippets I’ve heard in hushed tones from my other family is any indication, I don’t want to know more about him even if I wasn’t.

So, I continued to consider myself exclusively white because that’s what other people considered me, that’s how I was raised, that’s what I look like and likely subconsciously because I was bitter and it did benefit me on some level. As it turns out though, my mother has a thing for Hispanic guys (a little weird I guess, maybe a bit fetishistic [I don’t know the extent and I don’t want to know so I can’t say for certain], but good for her I suppose) and she soon after got involved with another guy, my now pseudo-step father in all but legality really. He’s of Mexican and Puerto Rican descent, his father lived in Mexico (and has since gone back of his own volition), his mother (IIRC) lived in Puerto Rico, etc. He’s not deeply associated with his roots, he’s definitely “assimilated” having grown up in New York and California. He speaks broken Spanish, perfect English, and really is an American through and through, save for some more traditional cultural vestiges (which isn’t bad to be clear). He loves chihuahuas, sombreros, maracas, Mexican cuisine, Speedy Gonzalez etc. It’s somewhat superficial and a bit stereotypical, but I understand why he feels a connection to it as a very American man. It’s an easy way for him to very clearly connect to his roots, even if they’re not pieces of great cultural significance. Whether or not it’s problematic, I’m glad it gives him some of the connection he wants to his culture and it makes him proud.

Growing up around him and his kids, I felt a bit like an outsider, and I’ll probably admit, initially I was arrogant. I grew up being an only child (which definitely was a big shift to begin with) and couple that with the fact that I was still at that time an academic golden child in traditionally very (BIG quotes here) “polite” (Read: white) environments, I didn’t really jive with my brothers for a long time. As things went on though, I had my golden kid breaking point, crashed out a bit, eventually my mom moved in with him bringing me in tow, and I mellowed out a bit as I got over some teenage angst. During that time, I never fully connected with the heritage because it wasn’t mine, I’m not Mexican, but I understood and appreciated it. I can earnestly say, it is one of the cultures that I am the most fascinated and captivated by. I can go on and on and wax poetic about the historical achievements of Native peoples of Central America, their food, their ability to weather adversity, and their faith that things will get better. The culture is so much deeper than the “illegal immigrants” and cartel ties that we’re constantly shown in media, and I’m glad that to an extent things are slowly shifting to show the humanity of the people. But anyway, tangents aside, I’m still very culturally white and white passing, albeit with a better understanding of Latino cultures.

As more and more time goes on though, I am starting to feel like I’m a bit disconnected from a part of my culture and heritage, but I feel uncomfortable claiming it. Not because I don’t want people to know that I’m Hispanic, I have no issue with that, in fact I love whipping out that I’m sleeper Hispanic with a Hispanic family when people think they’re safe to be a little racist with me before I call them out on it. The reason is just because I don’t feel Hispanic enough and I’m too white, and it’s something I’ve struggled with for a while, but it becomes more and more obvious to me as time goes on. I understand that this is a really common issue for people of mixed races, particularly for those with mixed heritage upbringings. They feel adrift between two worlds and people are always looking for a way to categorize them into their preexisting schemas of how we view race in America. Some of what these people say when I’m looking for it resonates with me, but a lot of it also doesn’t. It’s not because my life is harder or I’m special or anything, but it is a very particularly niche scenario. I grew up almost exclusively white, it’s difficult for me to convince a lot of people that I’m more than white, I grew up with white privilege, and I never really had a Hispanic/Latino experience.

I want to be clear, this isn’t me crying about being white, particularly also being male, cis, and generally het. It’s been a privilege for sure that’s opened up a lot of doors that wouldn’t have otherwise been open to me, I’m sure, and I wish I could extend those same rights, opportunities, and safeties to everybody. That said, I feel like a complete outsider to those roots and feel dirty claiming them. Like I’m taking it away, diluting, or appropriating those cultural celebrations from the people who really deserve them. My experiences with the people and the culture is that they’re ecstatic to share it and have people take an interest in it. It’s generally very inclusive, friendly, and they love to treat you (or at least me as a very small boyish looking man) like family. It’s genuinely awesome. I can’t not think of myself as the generic white dude who works a boring office job and says every Spanish word with the whitest accent possible (to be clear I do work an office job, but I do a pretty solid job of pronunciation with EXCELLENT R rolls, trills, etc.) invading a space not made for me.

It’s a really complex topic, one that’s hard to fully articulate, which is what I’ve seen is a consistent thread in writings from mixed race individuals talking about their experiences. I’m friends with a surprisingly large amount of white passing Puerto Rican mixed race people and you’d think I’d talk about it more with them, but no. I probably should, but it’s a personal and somewhat intimate topic to just suddenly spring on people. For now though, I suppose I’m content to observe and appreciate Latin-X culture and people “from a distance” and amplify their voices as much as I can as a white passer.

[jeanjauthor]

Addams Family Thanksgiving

As a white person...

I was genuinely thrilled with this “plot twist.”

Rewatching it decades later?

Still thrilled.

But as for the reality of how indigenous people are treated in America? (And Canada, since y’all are right there with us in this, in the sense of not actually treating First Nations peoples very well... *glares at the Highway of Tears, & at its curiously unconcerned goddamn government*)

Not Thrilled At ALL.

Now, disclaimer:  Most of my ancestors were lily-ass-white colonizers.  I am even related to four of the Pilgrim families at Plymouth Rock.  You know, the ones who came over on the Mayflower? The ones like “Sarah Miller” in this video clip?  Yeah, related to those ungrateful patriarchal fucked-up-the-rest-of-our-society-for-CENTURIES sons of bitches & daughters of bastards.

On the other hand, one of my ancestresses a century or two later was Haudanusaunee (Iroquois Confederacy), specifically Kanienkehaka (Mohawk), and yes, she married an European...after Europeans brought diseases that decimated or even flat-out destroyed various indigenous populations...and then further desecrated & destroyed populations via actual warfare, poisoning (it’s an ongoing thing to this day) naturally lactose intolerant people with charity-offered cheeses, and far too much more.

I am literally missing millions of my kin in this world because their ancestors were wiped out--either unwittingly or maliciously--by my other ancestors, before they could beget a next generation, and a next...

But mostly it wasn’t just accidental deaths through the introduction of unfailiar diseases that became massive plagues parallel to COVID-19. Colonizers were far more intolerant than they were tolerant...and the reason why I despise what they did is because the Paradox of Tolerance applies to what they did.  Too many of their descendants are still far too intolerant to this day...and the Paradox of Tolerance applies to them as well.

By the way, the “blood quantum” cards or whatever they’re called?  The ones that count “how much of X Tribe” you are, if you’re Native American / Indigenous North American?  They only count ONE tribe affiliation by blood.  So if you’re 6/16ths Blackfoot and 7/16ths Apache and 3/16ths European...you only get to count EITHER your Blackfoot OR your Apache status, and the other nation doesn’t get counted.  (This was only an example bloodline, not a real one.)

Oh, and you have to be at LEAST 1/16th of any one particular tribe (indigenous nation, etc) to “count” as a tribal member...and some require 1/4th.  Btw...1/16th means one great-great grandparent; my ancestress was two generations further back, making me 1/64th...and no, I am not claiming I’m Mohawk in any shape or way. I literally live over 2,000 miles away from Iroquois territory, I don’t know the culture, the history, the people...why would I claim something I don’t know?

...Which introduces the horrors of forced assimilation, ripping children away from their families to incarcerate them in indoctrination (brainwashing) camps, aka “white education centers” and “boarding school institutions”...which means they don’t grow up learning anything about their culture, their parents grow old, their elders die, and within 3 generations, they won’t know NEARLY enough about their own culture...but I digress.  Let’s get back to how much ancestry you have, and why it’s genocidally regulated.

Blood quantum measurements are enforced by white-made laws DELIBERATELY to force indigenous populations to either inbreed themselves to death...or outbreed themselves or other indigenous nations to extinction.

To retain “enough native blood” to qualify, you have to keep inbreeding into the same gene pool generation after generation...and since those genepools were whittle down by disease & violence brought against them...they aren’t very large pools to begin with.  Not like they could’ve been.

If you’re supposed to “stick with your own kind” but you cross-marry into another tribe / nation...then you have to decide what inheritance your children “get” to claim...and that means denying any other genetic affiliations / inheritances they may have.  If you’re forced to go with the Apache in the above example because it’s bigger in percentage than your blood quantum for Blackfoot...what if Blackfoot’s population loses too many people to outbreeding “thinning the bloodlines”...?

And that’s without the consideration of, what if you’re 1/16th Kanienkehaka (Mohawk, remember), and you fall in love with someone from, oh, say, Thailand?  If you marry that person and have children with them (presuming it’s a pairing that you can do that with them)...then your children will be 1/32nd...too low to “count”.

Even if you raise them to know and honor their heritage as a member of the Eastern Door of the Great Longhouse of the Iroquois Confederacy.

Your choice is to marry & live with & raise children with the person you genuinely love and care about...but reduce the future population of your nation...or never get to have children with the person you love, and find someone to tolerate who will keep your indigenous heritage headcount alive.

Blood quantum laws are genocide.

Now...why would this bother me so much?

Well, aside from the fact it’s genocide, and yes that bothers me quite a lot...

I’m a romance author.  I grew up reading (and not knowing better) the “Sweet Savage Love” style romance novels, historical westerns with the hunky tanned shirtless Native American and the barely bodiced babe clinging to him, her skirt hiked up far too high on her thigh, blah blah blah.  (Don’t @ me, I can love images of muscular guys, including non-European-descended muscular guys, and being bi, I can totally admire a sexily posed lady, too!)  And some of the stories actually addressed issues of social stigmas, racism, & so forth.

But what those books did, in a much more insidious way, was not just fetishize Indigenous North American men (and women, in very rare cases), but promoted how romantic it is to thin indigenous bloodlines, even as these blood quantum laws existed, through the fetishization of the “romantic native romance hero” archetypes and plot tropes.

Now, this is not to say I am against “interbreeding” (I am literally gagging at having to put it that way, sorry; bear with me here).  What I am AGAINST is the demand that you “have” to be X amount of blood and ONLY X-Amount-Or-Higher To Qualify.

Being a part of a nation, a culture, a bloodline, isn’t a goddamn carnival ride!

That is what I am against.

Membership in an indigenous nation / tribe should be a matter of being a member, and that means being in the community, interacting positively with the culture, promoting the continuation of the community / culture / nation, its knowledge, its belief systems, its historical records, its various traditions.  Ideally one should have blood ties to that indigenous population...but it’s literally the participation in the culture that keeps that particular culture alive.

What I’d love to see is something like this:

You could be less than 1/16th of a particular tribe / nation, and still be counted, if (say for example) the community / elders sign off on your “membership” via how much you do participate--this would bring spouses into the community headcount, if that spouse (or domestic partner) willingly & helpfully participates in the culture.  Why the spouse / partner?  Because through participation, they can help teach the next generation, whether that’s their own kids with their partner, or other kids in the community.

Additionally, I want to see cross-quantum affiliations.  If you’re Blackfoot AND Apache, if you participate in both cultures, both should be able to claim you!  And if you don’t, but you still have a strong blood tie to both, you should be counted for both.

There is a fine balance between preserving a genetic inheritance in sustainable ways...and not restricting all aspects of one’s inheritance so much that it does lead to an essentially effective genocide by legal fiat.

...Remember, all that reservation land (what little is left of it over the centuries of theft by colonizer whites) goes back to the white folks’ nation, if there are no more members left of the indigenous nation...according to the “rules” the white folks insist everyone has to play by.

So yeah, I am genuinely thrilled at what Wednesday & the other outcast children at that summer camp decided to do.

There are some vengeance stories that just need to be told...even if they’re fictional.