#oh also the box has all his 'lies' on it so that's cool

[dog-ending]

i bought M'aiq the Liar at work today

his face is so fucking goofy you arent ready for it yet

i only spent a dollar on him to save him from the dumpster without losing my job and that is exactly how much he's worth

anyway here he is

[aezuria]

*ੈ✎ two lovers entwined, pass me by

"and heaven knows i'm miserable now" —the smiths

content: leo valdez x roman! reader

╰┈▸ back cover: what if leo gets a little too tired of being the seventh wheel, wait- ninth wheel? (and meets a girl who is a d1 hater)

╰┈▸ warnings: leo and yn dont hate hate couples its a joke okay (unless its not a joke anymore pls give them love-) cursing, maybe ooc reyna? NOT canon compliant, a bit of angst but overall its silly

librarian's annotations: this is now my fav work if u guys dont like it then dont tell me pls 😣

leo was tired. sick and tired of everyone's public displays of affection! can they at least have the decency to romance each other in the privacy of their own rooms!? he did not build ten of them for no reason! there was absolutely no way they needed to suck face at the dining table. like, right in front of his food!?

okay, he was being a bit dramatic. the most everyone was willing to do in public was hold hands. and maybe share a kiss. but that was a kiss too much! and wasn't reyna supposed to off doing (cool) praetor shit!? ever since her and jason made up, leo has not been able to catch a break! can they stop eyefucking each other already!? (they are simply staring into one another's eyes)

"guys." leo swept his gaze over the dining table. he was seated at the end, giving him an unwarranted view of everyone paired up. apparently, love is also deaf, since no one turned their head to him.

"guys!" leo raised his voice. would he be heard over the sound of their unspoken conversations? heads finally spun to look at him, as if they just remembered he was there.

"can you guys like, eat? or do this-" he gestured widely. "elsewhere? and by elsewhere i mean not in front of me."

they all managed to give him the exact same look that was a mix of embarrassment at being called out, and something that said "poor leo, he's so single!" oh come on! jason made it even worse by putting a—what was supposed to be—comforting hand on his arm. "it's okay, leo. i'm sure you'll find someone one day."

this was not funny at all. and leo would know; he's the funniest guy ever! he snatched his arm away with an utterly aghast expression. "ew! get your pity off of me!" he shuddered, playing up the theatrics and wiped his forearm over jason, giving him his couple-cooties back.

the blond reeled back, laughing at his best friend's antics. "what was that for!?"

"don't act like you don't know!" he sneered accusingly.

nights were always the worst for leo. they were quiet, and not the calm, peaceful quiet when he would stay out and watch the sun set, the time before his happiness came to an end. it was an empty quiet, devoid of the laughter he caused, his thoughts become louder to fill up the silence.

(it was night when his mother died, when he had burned down the warehouse. when he had killed her. it was night when he awoke to the front door slamming, the sounds of drunken yells and glass splintering were backing instruments in an interlude of impending misery as he waits for the sun to shine once again. it was night when he ran away, with nothing more than his heavy heart and some left over change.)

leo's thoughts ran rampant with the feelings he kept in a glass box. always there, always seen, very fragile yet rarely opened. sometimes he would shake it a little too hard, and it would come crashing down like a bottle of alcohol, spilling insecurities instead of wine.

tonight was one of those times.

he doesn't know what brought it on. well, he lied; it was the sight of everyone at dinner, looking happy and complete without him. but he was used to it. it shouldn't have bothered him this much. but the more he let it stew, the more it hurt. leo loved his friends, sure, but he couldn't help but have a little bit of resentment at how easy it was for them to make up, make out. hell, even piper got a girlfriend, a mortal one at that! between traveling and fighting monsters, he didn't even know that was possible. what about him was so unlovable?

as he tossed and turned to shake off the voices in his head, he knew that this would be another sleepless night.

today was going to be a good day; leo could feel it in his gut. the skies were clear, there were no monsters coming to wake them up, and the engine was running smoothly. he had time to work on his little projects all day today! he hummed a tune as he walked to the engine room, or his work room for today, and spun a wrench in his hand. maybe he had a little skip to his saunter, a pep in his step. something about today was just so-

his gut lied to him. (maybe he was hungry?) the wrench clattered to the ground as he came to an abrupt stop. "oh. my. gods." leo paused between every word to further emphasize his disdain.

the sight was scandalous, completely and irrevocably scandalous. like, i-need-to-wash-my-brain-out scandalous. and leo was so not being dramatic this time.

percy and annabeth flinched away from each other in a half-asleep fumble, trying to act as if they had not just been caressing each other's bodies mere moments ago. (okay, maybe he was being dramatic again) this wasn't even a romantic place to do that! and leo would know, he's such a romantic guy. what was the purpose of his hard work of making bedrooms if they were just going to sneak off and desecrate his beloved engine room!?

"frank catching you two once wasn't enough?" leo huffed and bent down to pick up his dropped tool. "now i have to see the two of you fraternizing in my domain!?"

"that's not even the proper word-" annabeth had tried to hold back, but the urge to correct him was too much.

"i don't care! shoo!"

leo was so done. his perfect day had been ruined first thing in the morning! now it was late, he was tired, and he was finally heading back to his room to get some much needed rest after holing himself up all day working on random knick-knacks. a soft noise caught his attention. it was dim, the lights low since him and annabeth wanted to save electricity. he felt the familiar dread in his stomach. there was absolutely no way this could be happening.

"we shouldn't do this here..." wait, was that reyna?

"i know.. but i'm gonna miss you when you leave." no. no. NO. the direction the two very very familiar voices were coming from was right in front of the hallway to his bedroom. "please?"

leo was torn. he didn't want to walk in on them, but he couldn't spend another night in the engine room! he wanted his comfy bed right now!

he slapped a hand over his eyes and stepped heavily on the wooden floorboards, giving them a much needed warning. he heard the sound of fabric and shuffling, a satisfied smirk gracing his face.

"are you guys decent?" leo asked, still squeezing his eyes shut under his hand.

jason huffed, no doubt red in the face. "it's not like we weren't in the first place."

leo dared to open his eyes, finding that not only was his face red, but there were bruises starting to dapple his neck. ew. he did not want to think about how that came to be. "uh huh. well go and canoodle somewhere not in front of my room, please and thank you."

"canoodle?"

"reyna i told you, i don't wanna go!" you grumbled akin to a toddler, despite your status as the centurion of the first cohort. you took off your armor, dropping it to the ground haphazardly. "i don't need to see you and mister perfect canoodling in front of me!"

the praetor snorted and shook her head. "'canoodling?' you're the second person i've heard use that word this week." she paused, a thoughtful expression passing over her face. "you guys would get along well, i think. anyways, i'm not asking as a friend, i'm ordering you as praetor."

oh that was so unbelievably low! "what!? reynaa!" you stretched out the end of her name in an embarrassingly childish whine. good thing it was just the two of you here, otherwise no one would let you live it down. "i thought they were supposed to be going soon anyway!?"

"you heard me. and no, they're staying for a couple more nights. something about the engine being broken again?" she shrugged, an amused glimmer breaking through her usually serious front. "besides, we have a lot to discuss about the whole gaea thing, and who better to bring than you? you're my right hand woman."

you tried to hide a smile at her words, but sweet-talk always won you over. "ugh, fine. i guess i'll go."

something was up. you knew that from the moment she asked you to "wear something other than purple for once." who even owned anything but purple!? heck, you didn't even know reyna had different clothes outside of uniform! was that even allowed? you'd only ever seen her wear the same shirt as you, and a toga if the event accounted for it.

you sifted through your wardrobe, digging through masses of violet and coming up blank. oh well, guess its uniform time again. not that you minded all that much.

"you are changing." reyna shook her head, giving you a disappointed look only a mother could offer. this wasn't even a big deal! what was so wrong with your shirt? you rather liked purple!

"but why!? what better way to represent rome than this?" you gestured to your clothing. "aren't we talking business? also this is like the only shirt i have."

"because-"

"you just wanna look all pretty for your boyfriend." you cut her off, faking a gag. "doesn't mean i have to look pretty."

her shoulders tensed and you drew back, already anticipating her near-fatal blow.

"reyna? you know i was just kidding- OW!"

"-wait this is so my color actually." you checked yourself in her mirror. who knew reyna had fashion sense? although not much was required for a simple shirt and jeans.

she nodded and got to her feet. "suits you well. consider it my apology."

"huh? apology for what? for hitting me? aww you're so-"

"no. for what's about to happen to you." a solemn expression took over her face. she was well aware of your exaggerated hatred for couples. maybe you were just a bitter single, but she wasn't about to tell you that. she hoped you would soon be taken (not literally) and stop harassing her for her romantic escapades.

that was ominous. should you be scared for your life? "what the hell does that even mean?"

oh. now you knew exactly what it meant. as the two of you boarded the argo ii, she was immediately swept into a bone-crushing hug by jason, as if he couldn't bear to let her go ever again. you almost threw up at the sight. how could your beloved best friend be reduced to a lovesick schoolgirl at the touch of a man!? a man that had forgotten her! (and remembered, and apologized, and confessed his love- okay, you were starting to see her side quite clearly)

you turned your head away entirely, not wanting to see all that. but everywhere you looked, a new couple seemed to pop up. it was like your worst nightmare come to life. percy and annabeth? piper and some girl? frank and hazel? holding hands? since when were they a thing!? sweet hazel and shy frank? they were—admittedly—adorable, but still!

your only respite was leo looking just as exasperated as you. he must have it way worse; he had to live here with all of them. you shuddered. you were glad you weren't in his place right now.

you stood awkwardly to the side as they reunited. do they do this all the time? and everyone's just cool with it? maybe they can relate, with their taken-ness and all. ugh.

leo peeked at you curiously from the corner of his eye. your expression was as clear as day, face scrunched up in disdain as he traced your gaze to the practically infinite amount of couples onboard. he nodded internally, knowing exactly how you were feeling. but hey, he couldn't just let a pretty girl like you stay unhappy on his ship, not if he could help it!

"hey there," leo said smoothly, or as smooth as he could be after he had almost tripped on the crack between the floorboards. "i'm leo."

finally! someone had the decency to entertain you. "i know you! you're the guy that made octavian throw a hissy fit for firing at new rome!" shit, was that a weird thing to say for a first time interaction? too late now.

the brunette cringed at the mention of his possession. "uh, that's not what most people know me by, but yeah..?"

"oh? and what do most people know you by?" consider yourself intrigued.

leo perked up at your question, having been given an amazing opportunity to charm you. "well obviously it's my rugged good looks, and ingenious inventions, and-"

"we're starting dinner now!" jason called out from the dining table, before recieving an elbow to the gut from reyna and a harsh whisper from piper.

you were lost in your thoughts, zoning out as everyone spoke around you. leo's actually kinda... a tiny part of you popped the idea into your head. he was kinda, indeed. gods, i hate couples. a much larger portion of your mind seemed to yell. do you, or do you just hate being single? you asked yourself. huh. well it's probably-

a cough to your left caught your attention. it was leo. when his brown eyes met yours, you couldn't see a trace of that same boy who was described a traitor and a freak for firing at new rome. maybe something really did possess him.

"wanna know how i built this ship?" he asked excitedly. it was clear that the argo ii was his pride and joy.

"yeah!" you grinned, his cheerfulness rubbing off on you. who cares if he fired on new rome anymore? that was so last tuesday.

"so first, i had this cool metal dragon..."

unbeknownst to you, annabeth whispered across the table to reyna. "i think it's working?"

so, the dinner wasn't anything about business. you did learn a ton from leo though! that was business enough wasn't it? still, you couldn't help the pang of guilt that came with not getting anything work-related done. it was practically in your genes as a roman.

"y/n! you should stay the night!" hazel encouraged from the sofa across you. she was met with choruses of yeahs! and you shoulds! by the other girls, including reyna.

"oh!" you laughed awkwardly, trying to think of a way to politely turn them down. as much as you would love to stay and get to know them, you had a job to do. even if that job was getting all the legionnaires in your cohort to bed by curfew. (like seriously, the amount of times you've had to reel in couples you caught sneaking out was crazy. maybe that's where your hatred came from.) "i'd love to, but i have... centurion duties and all that."

"but reyna has praetor duties and she's staying," annabeth argued. her gray eyes shone with an intensity you only saw on the battlefield. what was going on?

that was new information to you. "you're staying?" you questioned your friend, who looked away with a hint of embarrassment.

"jason's leaving soon," she coughed. after being apart for so long, you could hardly blame her for wanting a little more time with him. "but that's besides the point. you should stay."

you crossed your arms, trying to come up with another excuse. "uh, i don't have clothes to change into?" it was a weak attempt, but you hoped it would work.

"i can lend you some," hazel piped up from the side, obviously eager to make you stay.

aw. she was always so nice. but you had a feeling there was an underlying motive you just couldn't figure out.

you tried again. "i don't think there's a spare room for me to sleep in."

"there's an empty one by leo," piper pointed out.

well, that was it. they refuted all your claims and left you no choice but to stay. you heaved a sigh and relented. "fine."

you weren't sure how it happened, but you ended up with leo again. so much for girls night. but you couldn't complain, leo was good company. he never let the silence stew between you guys for too long, always switching between one topic to the next, until somehow, you were both talking shit about your pathetic love lives and the insufferable ones of those around you.

"you wouldn't believe how many times i've caught these people! i swear, they can never keep it in their pants for more than two seconds! it's like, trauma at this point!" you rolled your eyes, absolutely abhorring the new legionnaires in your cohort.

leo laughed, a sound that made your heart skip a beat. he looked over his shoulder, before leaning in as if telling you a secret. "like two days ago, i caught jason and reyna making out! he had hickies all over his neck!"

you gasped at the scandalous behavior of the two most serious people you knew. "what!? no way..."

the curly-haired boy nodded vehemently. "yes way! it was so gross."

eventually, it was time for the both of you to say your goodnights. leo led you to your room, giving you a cheeky wink before he retreated into his own. you shut the door, and threw yourself into bed.

maybe it was the unfamiliar environment, maybe it was the fact that you were way up in the air, or maybe it was leo running circles around your mind. whatever the reason was, you couldn't sleep. or maybe you chose not to, just to have an excuse to see the stars. the time when they were out was the only time you'd allow yourself a break.

you crept out of the room, careful not to make noise as you made your way out onto the deck. the air was crisp, a gentle bite against your skin. it seemed that the god of the sky was on your side tonight, for the clouds were nowhere to be seen, only the full moon of artemis and the familiar stars shone. you made yourself comfy on the floor, leaning back against the railing as you took a deep breath.

it would be another night of no sleep for leo, that much he could tell. he groaned into his pillow. he couldn't tell if it was the new crush already forming on you, or his angst from a few days before. regardless, his nervous energy made him get up and pace the room, fidgeting with a screw he found on the floor. with footsteps light, he traveled the small area, before something told him to get some fresh air. he obliged. it was better than being in his stuffy room.

as he went up the stairs to the upper level, he caught sight of a figure in the distance. leo's curiosity spiked. he walked closer, the image of you coming into view. your eyes locked on his, a soft smile gracing your face at seeing him. "hey."

"hey." leo dipped his head in greeting, and sat down beside you. "mind if i sit here?"

you shook your head and returned your gaze to the starry night sky, a comfortable silence settling between you two, with only the tapping of leo's fingers against the floor filling the air. it was different, being alone with him. he seemed different. he was quieter, more mellow.

"i hate nights." leo blurted out, breaking the peace you two had shared.

"really?" you asked softly. he braced himself with the condescending remark that was sure to come after, but it never came. instead he received a genuine interest from you. "why's that?"

the boy felt his heart beat a little faster. was he really going to tell you, a girl he barely knew, his whole life story? perhaps it was the late hour that made him want to spill everything out. or the feeling that stirred whenever he looked at you, like magnets attracting. and so he did.

and you listened without any interruption, never followed up with that remark he was waiting for, never gave him the pity he hated. instead, you followed up with your own story.

"i love nights. for me, it's the only time i really feel free. when everyone else is asleep, and it's just you and the stars. away from all the rules." you looked up. they seemed so close from here, way up in the floating ship. they twinkled like glitter, flashing heys and hellos and nice to see you agains. it was beautiful.

leo admired you the way you did the stars. they reflected off your eyes and made your irises shine, the same way fire casted a diffused glow on everything around it. maybe nights weren't so bad after all, if every one of them would be spent with you.

and when you leaned against him to rest your head on his shoulder, whispering secrets into his ear? oh, caligula would have blushed. (leo knows he sure did)

"operation get leo a girlfriend, complete!"

"i thought we were calling it operation get y/n a boyfriend?"

"whatever. operation leoy/n is a success!"

"...you know we can hear you guys, right?"

[glitt3rcritter]

Horror Sans headcanons

This is mainly of the x reader variety just random things I threw together

[warning for toxic behavior and eds]

this man

Oh this man

He does not do physical affection, physical contact of any kind

Not that he hates it, he's probably extremely touchy starved. Just too prideful and emotionally unavailable to admit that. Hand holding is fine, just don't overdo it. If he is craving a little physical affection, he'd probably just lean on you.

Acts of service and quality time are more his style.

Don't say anything about it though, he will clam up and get shy defensive. He'd probably call you desperate and delusional and talk about your mental illnesses.

Easier insanely jealous or insanely nonchalant, maybe some how both

Sassiest man you've ever spoken to.

Don't even think about eating anything around him, he's awful when it comes to food.

"d'you really need ta eat all that?"

Bullies you, out of love of course, definitely not because he has problems with intimacy and being honest about how he feels.

His problems are now your problems but they also aren't your problems so don't help him because he doesn't need any help, he's fine. (Not)

If you guys have a fight about anything and he's in the wrong, don't expect to see him for a week. He will straight up, poof, shortcut somewhere else in the middle of an argument if he feels like it. Will use the classic, "Can we just drop it?"

If this man ever pulls the stick out his ass and let's his guard down around you then he turns into the clingiest motherfucker youve ever met.

Would rather have his other eye extracted than outright say "I love you."

Probably just responds with "yeah", "cool", "mhm",

Has probably only said it once and never again.

If you haven't guessed, he doesn't like being vulnerable.

A song that comes to mind is Tongues and Teeth by The Crane Wives. (I lied a few songs come to mind but I'll just make that a playlist or something(

"I will poison all your happy thoughts, I love you like the ashes in my cigarette box and if you're fine with that you can be mine..."

[bidisastersanji]

Arcane One Piece AU (Fem!ZoSan centric)

Ok so this all started because of this post and galaxy braining with the amazing @anniilaugh can’t you just IMAGINE dyke Zoro circling and Kabedon-ing (pin against the wall) Sanji like “You’re hot, cook- so what’ll it be? Man or woman?” As they go into the brothel looking for information? SHE DREW THE BEST ART OF VI!ZORO RIGHT HERE BTW

Sanji is good with her legs so she would impress Zoro with her parkour skills

Sanji has a Taz British accent (like Caitlin has a British accent) but with lots of cursing (Zeff’s influence) “bollocks!” And some French cursing as well since he learned it as a kid (putain! Merde! Fait chier!)

Zoro wears the same hot dyke clothes Vi does- arms fully out, and pulls her hood on when she’s serious (like the bandana). She also has cool tattoos and the hand wrap things

She fights with hextech swords that look just like hilts until they’re turned on and the blades appear - she carries them looped in carabiners around her waist (seriously look at the art)

World-building wise: Underworld Zaun Kingpin Doflamingo (Silco) with the drug “SMILE” who has Piltover higher ups and police in his pocket (he has leverage like in one piece)

SMILE gives people strange powers but temporarily, like temporary devil fruits that leave you broken and drained

Powder is Luffy, Zoro’s adoptive little brother, they were raised by Kuma (Vander) after his failed revolution where their parents die, growing up with a small crew of misfit friends (including Kuina, who dies)

The tragedy happens and Zoro gets put into prison (on Doffy’s orders) while Luffy thinks Zoro abandoned him and is taken in by Doffy, becoming “Nika” (his unhinged alter ego is gear 5 like Jinkx is to Powder) , now growing up along kids like Law, Baby 5 etc . His hair went white from the stress of that fateful night/or he bleaches it

Caitlin!Sanji grows up in Piltover as a noble with the abusive Vinsmokes but runs away and gets taken in by a chef called Zeff (who lost his leg in the failed revolution but managed to start anew, tries to help Zaun how he can, sending food etc)

Zeff gets put in prison by the Vinsmokes to control Sanji and she’s forced to become an enforcer (Fem!Sanji in that little uniform oh god. Smoking her cigarettes with a stupid little hat and the gun she does her best to avoid using)

She still works after her enforcer shifts at the Baratie since shes always itching to cook, feed the hungry and to support party and carne and keep her adoptive dad’s restaurant alive (she knows of how bad people have it in Zaun, and before Zeff found her she was hungry and homeless)

Her weapon of choice is actually something she has strapped to her legs from her thighs to her calves (Zoro will be very distracted) some hextech steampunk looking thing that powers up her kicks and she can send her kicks energy forward to do mid range attacks

She uses her enforcer job to snoop around and try and figure out how to get her father out

Her lead takes her to Stilwater prison where Zoro has been beat and abused for several years

Cue scene where Sanji walks in to Zoro’s cell and sees her boxing like crazy and fuck she’s so hot wtf but also she feels terrible for her and her blood boils as she learns of the abuse she went through

Telling herself she must be going absolutely insane (but is she? She feels like this is the right thing. It’s fate) she forges release documents to get Zoro out, sure that her knowledge of the under-city will help her understand where the corruption lies and get Zeff back

Zoro immediately does not follow what she’s saying and goes on her own thing (PARKOUR!) and she impresses her by being able to keep up

Zoro still gets lost and turned around

Are you sure you know the under-city, mosshead?

Zoro stops at a street food stall and Sanji is annoyed at first- as well as disgusted by how she shovels it in her mouth, but softens and silently rages when Zoro shares that she’s been starved a couple of times in Stillwater

Cue the brothel scene omg

Circling Sanji and pushing her up against a wall “You’re hot, cook. So what’ll it be, man or woman?”

Zoro walking by Sanji talking up another woman in the brothel after her talk with Nami (head of the brothel) and smiling to herself

Jayce is Franky who is experimenting with the crystals to create hextech, Viktor could be iceburg, Vivi is the hot politician lady (Mel)

Firelight is “Sogeking” - zoro and Luffy’s childhood friend Usopp (Ekko)

Also Taller than Zoro Sanji aaaaa

Zoro calling Sanji “officer” to annoy her - only switching to “cook” and “curly” as an alternative nickname

[ilovechuuy4]

˙∘ "Ah, what a lovely cake, babe!~" ∘˙

✰Osamu Dazai X GN!Reader✰

A/N; quite literally nobody asked for a dazai x reader but I've noticed since I've made my master list I don't have just a dazai fic along with just a chuuya fic BUT there is A LOT of chuuya x reader in my drafts so those will come soon!! I'm pretty sure this is the longest fic I made

→ Description; you and dazai decided to bake cakes! A quite messy and laced one at that.

Warnings; alcohol use (sneaking alcohol in the cake) and drinking wine

➥ Headcanons ⏤͟͟͞͞✰

→ Dazai is the one to sneak alcoholic drinks in to the cake/pastries/sweets y'all make.

→ Dazai is the one to take the frosting, dip his finger into it and smear the frosting on your nose like Rodolfo's nose.

→ He will make a mess no matter what, it's always possible and you can't avoid it, ingredients everywhere

→ Dazai is a literal child, he wants to lick the cake batter spoon, he doesn't care if there is raw eggs or not

→ When the cake is baking he's going to be OVERLY annoying because he has no patience whatsoever

→ This man is the most stupidest yet silliest known to kind, when decorating (his own cake) he's going to make little penises or inappropriate drawings on it

→ “Decorate appropriately" yea no, it's like yelling a kid to sit still and be quiet

→ The cake decorating is a contest for him for sure, he's going to sabotage you the best he can without ruining your cake, taking your frosting colors, candies that you're using, etc.

→ Christmas gal all the way, Christmas carols/music/dances/outfits/movies whatever, he loves it

Scenario!! ᯓ٭꙳˙∘

It was the middle of the day on a cool November day, there was a fire crackling in the living room, dazai and yourself in the kitchen with ingredients to bake a cake. Y'all had decided to to be creative and work on y'all’s culinary skills sense dazai was off work for holidays 'nd bored.

Soft hums were coming out the slim man’s mouth, who had an apron tied tightly around his waist, a cheeky smile on his face, his hands resting on his hips. “Alright! Let’s get this show on the rode!” You heard the brunette say excitedly, it was silly seeing him so happy over something like baking but also lovely.

Before this, Dazai had a bit too much wine so he wasn’t exactly sober. You had already grabbed the wet ingredients for the cakes, and dazai had grabbed the dry, store bought, cake mixes, all lied out on the counter top.

“Sure, sure. Let’s go this show on the rode” You mock with a soft smile, pouring the boxed cake batter into the metal bowl. You then crack the three eggs, but in this cake 6, since there is being to cakes made with the two boxes of cake mix y'all bought.

You then turn away to get a measuring up and get 2 cups of water. You heard a snicker from the brunette as you did. You weren't sure why nor did you see him pouring Lord knows how much whiskey into the cake.

You turn back and pour the two cups of water in, and then ⅓ vegetable oil. "What were you snickers about over here?" You say while giggling as well. "Oh nothing, babe. Don't worry!~" Dazai said with a cheeky smile, you knew he was up to something and it was obvious.

Y'all had already preheated the oven prior to this, 'nd now y'all have to mix, pour into pans, and then wait until it's done, let cool and ice! You take the whisk and start sturing the cake ingredients, while doing so, Dazai was getting into the frosting like a child.

Dazai had opened the white frosting, dipping his CLEAN fingertip in as it gets coated with the white, creamy icing. He sticks out his tongue, licking off the icing. "You know, this is OVERLY sweet" The brunette says, his gaze averting from the icing container, his deep brown eyes were looking into your e/c eyes.

"Ah, well that's the only kind they had, and isn't icing supposed to be overly sweet?" You had said, cocking and eyebrow as you continue mixing the cake batter. "Mhm, I suppose." He simply says as he dips his finger back in. "Honey, baby, babe, look at me!" He ugered, he really wanted you to look, even for a second.

You look over once more but before you could speak, you see Dazai reaching his icing covered finger tip towards your nose and smearing the icing on it. "Haha! Now you're Rodolfo but with a white nose!" He says his hands going back to his hips as a proud smile washes on his face, you couldn't help but smile.

"Ha, okay you Christmas obsesser" you scoff, and Dazai being the overly dramatic man he is, he jaw drops as he slaps a hand to his mouth, gasping obnoxiously as he does so. "Obsesser?! I am not obsessed!" He says with the most sassiest look on his face, holding back his giggles that were slowly tearing through the look of sassiness. "Cmon! Everyone knows you're obsessed on the holidays, Osamu! It's so easy to tell!" You start to laugh as Dazai turns away scoffing playfully.

Dazai huffs and the speaks, "Maybe a little, obsessed." He admits while turning to the Amazon Alexa y'all had placed in the kitchen for reasons like these. (cooking together) He walks over to it and whispers something as he turns up the Echo Dot to its max volume and soon, the entire kitchen is filled with Christmas music, specifically, All I Want For Christmas is You, by Maria Carey. You couldn't help but surpres laughs and giggles as you see our lover dancing and singing to the music.

"All I want for Christmassss~ isssssss~ youuuuuu!!" Dazai "sings" loudly, it was such good material to record but you didn't have your phone so it was a bit disappointing you couldnt record. You softly hum along to the song as you pour the cake batter into the cake pans. "Oo! Ooo!! Give me the spoon! I want to lick the batter spoon!" Your lover's eyes are like stars as you hand him the batter spoon.

Dazai starts licking the soon as he watches you put the cakes in the hot oven. "How long will it take?" He asks, still licking the spoon clean. "About 20-30 minutes? It just depends on the size of the pan if I'm honest with you, Honey, but since it's two 9 rounds maybe 22-27 minutes?" This wasn't a wild guess, but more of a precise guess. "Ughh, that's so long!" Dazai complained, nothing new though.

"Oh calm down, you listen to your Maria Carey and lick your batter spoon and before you know it, they will be done" You scoff softly, this makes Dazai huff and cross his arms as he finishes off licking the spoon. "Fine! But I think I'll annoy you instead" He says, smiling as he hugs you tightly, his arms around your waist and holds you close.

This goes on for a bit, dazai was poking, kissing, biting doing whatever to try to annoy you, but at the end of the day he wasn't sober so, you were fine with it. And soon, the timer for the cakes went off, you grab the oven mit and put it on, taking the cakes out from the oven, placing them on the stove top. A few minutes go by, Dazai was back to the casually bugging until y'all were able to frost the cakes.

"Okay okay, the cakes are ready to frost, you get one I get one, okay?" Dazai hums in response, looking extremely excited as he takes his icing bag and starts to work on his cake, you take yours as well and work on your own. You were glancing back and forth between your cake and Dazais face, humming softly to the Christmas music playing in the kitchen. You use your a smaller frosting tip to do more fine line details in the very detailed cake while dazai, seems to be doing something more since he is chucking up a storm.

You were making you and Dazai holding hands and dazai, well who knows? Because you didn't. You continue frosting your cake making everything the best it could be. "Done!" Dazai blurts with a smile, still snickering happily. You glance over and down at Dazais cake were there is a HIGHLY detailed cock, not a chicken, a cock, as in the male reproduction organ. Why was it so detailed? You didn't know but you just snicker a bit as you continue to work on your own.

"It's very, er, detailed?" You say, holding back a fit of laughter. "Yep! Based it off my own!~" He seemed so confident that it was funny, you put a hand over your mouth holding back your fits of laughter "O,oh yeah, really?" You choke out, it was hard to contain your giggles and snorts as they just fall out as you start to have a unbearable fit of laughter, which made Dazai start laughing too. A bit of tears from the uncontrollable fit start to form in your eyes as you catch your breath.

"Ha, Okay I'm done I'm done" you let out a sigh of relief as you quickly finish up your cake. Dazai comes up behind you, wrapping his arms around you. "Ah, What a lovely cake, babe~" He said, smiling happily as he saw the very detailed cake of the two of you holding hands.

He plants a soft kiss on your neck, and then your jawline moving up to your lips. Capturing your lips in a slow and loving kiss, you could taste the sweetness of the frosting and cake batter from earlier as you kissed back slowly. Dazai pulls back, smiling, "I love you babe"

[hairstevington]

Stranger Therapy - part 2!

Eddie Munson x Steve Harrington

Summary: Based on this text post, Steve and Eddie match on Tinder and decide to go to couple's counseling on a first date to see how long it takes the therapist (Murray) to figure them out. Chapter 1, Link to Ao3

Word Count: 3k again!

Warnings: This one has a moment of actual therapy lmao, nothing TOO serious but Eddie has low self-esteem and Steve is closed off, modern day AU, aged up, brief Robin cameo, Matchmaker Murray.

A/N: OMG I was NOT expecting such a big reaction to part 1!! Here is the much requested part two, and I plan to continue for probably another two or three chapters. Thanks to all who have read so far!! PS I really did look into the counselor code of ethics for this one lmao

“So, how’d it go?” Robin asked once Steve got home. 

He had no idea how to answer that question. 

“It was…” He wandered to the fridge to grab a drink, wondering how much of the experience he should share with Robin. Generally, they told each other everything, but wasn’t therapy usually a private thing? So it wouldn’t be too terribly weird to not tell her, right? “Did you know he went to Hawkins High with us?”

“He did?” she asked, just as confused as Steve had been. “Like, at the same time we were there?”

“Yup. Eddie Munson ring a bell?” Robin thought about the name for a second before her eyes widened. 

“Oh my god! Yes I remember him!” She laughed, then continued once she’d settled down. “Okay, yeah. He’s definitely the kind of person who would want to do the first date fake couple’s counseling thing. He was always a little…outside of the box.”

“Come on,” Steve replied. “You say the meanest shit to me, and the best you can come up with for Eddie is that he’s ‘outside of the box?’ Robin, he’s never even seen the box.” She laughed again.

“Okay, sure,” she agreed. “I’m guessing it didn’t turn out to be a good match?”

Steve hesitated again, because no, that wasn’t it. He wasn’t sure if they were a good match, honestly. He ran through the events of the day in his head, then realized just how batshit insane it all was. And Steve had agreed to it. 

And he didn’t even regret it. 

He imagined telling Robin, and her relentlessly teasing him about it like she always did. This would give her enough ammunition to last a lifetime. It probably would be even worse than the fateful day at the mall when Steve had accidentally ripped his pants while attempting to hit on a girl. Robin had a front row seat for that one, and she still brought it up. 

Steve agreeing to go to therapy with an actual stranger, pretending to date said stranger, and working on actual personal issues together? Yeah, no. Steve was gonna take this shit to the grave.

Except, he wouldn’t, would he? Because he had an accomplice. They also weren’t strangers, not really, but they were still acquaintances, at best. An acquaintance that Steve had intermittently thought about kissing ever since Eddie mentioned it with Dr. Bauman. 

Ohhh, this is bad I think.

“Earth to Steve,” Robin said, interrupting his thought spiral. “Are you going to see him again or not?”

“We’re gonna get coffee next week,” Steve lied. He never lied to Robin, and he felt immediately horrible about it, but he couldn’t tell her, right? 

He almost broke and told her the honest truth, because sitting with the lie was so uncomfortable. Instead, he told himself that if he actually got coffee with Eddie next week, then he wouldn’t be lying. Loophole!

“Oh,” she said, surprised. “I really didn’t expect anything to come from this.”

“Yeah, well he’s -” Steve tried to think of what exactly it was about Eddie that was so enticing. He was hot, obviously. Charismatic. He was able to take Steve off guard, and they rolled with each other’s bullshit pretty smoothly. It was strange how connected he felt to Eddie in the session. Like they really were in tune with each other. Like they were an actual couple. “He’s cool. We had fun.”

“I know you’re not telling me something,” Robin said, eyeing him suspiciously. “But I guess it’s not my business. Plus, confidentiality and all that.”

Unlike Steve, Robin had been to therapy before. She had always told Steve he should go, too, but he never had. 

Until now, of course. But first, he had to cover his bases. 

-

Steve: Do you wanna get coffee before our appointment?

Eddie: Sure, gives us a chance to get our stories straight

Eddie: Hold on let me make the joke before you do

Steve: ?

Eddie: About our stories being gay and not straight!!

Steve: I wasn’t gonna make that lame-ass joke

Eddie: Sure you weren’t

Steve: And if I was, my delivery would have been way better

Eddie: oh shit

Eddie: Steve’s biting back today ;)

Steve: Well I gotta keep up with you, don’t I?

Eddie: Mmm i see how it is. Noon work for coffee?

Steve: I’ll be there

-

Eddie had recently been told by a close friend that he needed to get his shit together. The couple’s counseling wasn’t a whole master plan on Eddie’s part - he really did think it sounded fun, and it was - but the thought of talking out some of his issues was appealing, and he couldn’t stop thinking about it. 

This close friend of Eddie’s - the one who suggested Eddie had an attitude problem and low self-esteem - had mentioned Dr. Bauman a few times in the past. He apparently worked wonders on couples, even the ones who argued all the time. His success rate was remarkable. 

Thinking back on it, maybe Eddie did kind of want to do couple’s counseling with Steve and Dr. Bauman for a reason. 

Like, come on. There was a spark there, right? There was something, at least. Who else would have gone along with Eddie’s crazy this much? Steve understood Eddie, and while he kept calling this whole thing ‘insane,’ it didn’t stop him from agreeing to it. Because there was something there between them. 

But mainly, Eddie just wanted to see a therapist, he didn’t really want to do it alone, and for whatever reason Steve seemed like the right person to be there. 

Okay, yeah. Steve’s right. This is insane. 

-

The cafe down the street from Murray’s office was small and cozy, and had fancy syrups for the coffee that Steve secretly loved. He came here sometimes, under the guise that he was getting a strawberries and cream oat milk latte for Robin, even though literally none of the workers cared. 

“Your usual?” the barista asked when Steve and Eddie got in line. Steve tried not to notice Eddie’s amused expression and the way his eyebrows were raised expectantly, desperate to know what Steve ordered so often the workers had it memorized. 

“Uhhhh…” Steve wasn’t sure why he was blushing. He never cared much about being seen as masculine, and he was literally going to therapy with this guy, so things were about to get a lot more embarrassing than a coffee order. He looked at Eddie. “Don’t judge me, it’s delicious.” Eddie laughed. 

“I don’t give a shit,” he said. “Whatever it is, own it.” Steve turned to the barista.

“Yes, the usual,” he told her. 

“I’ll get the same thing,” Eddie chimed in. Steve felt a flutter of something in his chest, somewhere between anxiety and flattery. 

They got their drinks and sat down. Steve took a sip and tried not to show on his face how happy this stupid beverage made him. It was a simple joy, you know?

“Okay, so you wanted to come up with some kind of game plan, right?” Steve asked as he waited for the caffeine to hit. 

“Yeah, I mean -” Eddie shifted in his seat uncomfortably. What the hell is he nervous about, Steve wondered. “If Murray figures us out now, he’ll drop us. So we have to be a bit more convincing.”

“How are we supposed to be more convincing? Do you want us to start making out on the couch or something?” Steve suggested it as if he wouldn’t be extremely happy to do so. 

“If it comes down to it,” Eddie teased back. Steve blushed once again. He was so much better at flirting than he was being flirted with. “My favorite color is black or red, depending on the day. I still mostly eat canned foods and TV dinners because I never figured out the whole meal prep thing, but it works out fine because my favorite food is mac and cheese. I play a lot of video games and I have a Dungeons and Dragons group. I’m kind of amazing at the guitar -”

“What are you doing?” Steve asked, not getting it. Eddie sighed.

“I’m telling you about myself, what do you think I’m doing?” He shook his head and chuckled. “So you have context, or whatever. So we’re not just making shit up.”

“Oh, okay,” Steve responded. “What about your family?”

“Yeah, we’re not gonna touch that subject with a ten foot pole,” Eddie muttered. “Your turn.”

“Fair enough. Okay, well my favorite color is blue, I guess. I live with my best friend Robin. I…I’m not really good at this.” Steve took another sip of his drink and wondered why he couldn’t come up with more facts about himself. 

“College?” Eddie asked. Steve shook his head. “Me neither. Do you like music?”

“Yeah,” Steve answered. “I took piano lessons for a while and then I taught myself the rest.”

“Impressive,” Eddie noted. “Do we ever play music together?”

“I guess we could,” Steve said with a shrug. It was fun, coming up with a backstory like that. “Aren’t you going to drink your coffee?”

“Oh Jesus, no. It’s got way too much sugar for my taste.”

“Then why did you get one?” Eddie smiled.

“Because now -” Eddie slid his cup across the table until it was directly next to Steve’s. “-you have one for later.” Steve stared down at both cups, perplexed. 

“That is…like, incredibly sweet,” he said.

“Just like that abomination you call coffee,” Eddie replied.

-

After intake, Dr. Murray Bauman examined the counseling code of ethics, and unsurprisingly there was nothing in there saying it was unethical to continue treating a couple who were lying about being a couple. He didn’t have proof they were pretending, of course, but clients lied to therapists all the time. If they showed up for their appointment, Murray was going to counsel them. That was his job. Truly, it would have been unethical not to work with them. 

They did show up, and they were right on time. Immediately, Murray noticed something was different. They were more comfortable with each other, and Steve in particular looked much less terrified. 

“So,” Murray began, “tell me how your week has been.”

“It’s been good,” Eddie answered. “You really helped us out a lot.”

For a fleeting moment, Murray believed him. He thought that maybe his instinct had been wrong, and they actually were a couple, and they’d somehow managed to get over Steve’s affair in a matter of forty minutes. 

But it was only a moment. Murray was a great counselor, but nobody was that good. His suspicions were confirmed when Steve opened his mouth. 

“We actually think our relationship is solid, and we kinda just want to focus on our own individual issues,” he said. 

It was far too polished of a statement for it to have not been planned. Which meant one thing - Steve and Eddie were just looking for individual therapy, and were going at the same time for…emotional support? Cost-effectiveness? 

Murray nodded. This was all a first for him, and he loved uncharted waters. 

“Okay, what would you like to focus on first?” he asked. 

“I’ll go,” Eddie offered. “So, I have this friend that says I have self-esteem issues, but it doesn’t really make sense to me because I feel like I’m pretty confident. Like, I haven’t really mastered how to be a grown-up or anything, and I’m kind of a mess sometimes, but it’s all part of my charm, you know? I’ve always been a little crazy, but I also think I’m awesome, so…” 

“If you think you’re awesome, why does someone else’s opinion matter?” Murray asked. 

“I dunno, aren’t you the one who has the answers?” Eddie asked. “Just skip to the part where you tell me what’s wrong with me.”

“Well, that’s not usually how this works,” Murray began, “but I think I do see what’s going on.”

“Enlighten me,” Eddie said. 

“You just said you were confident but called yourself a mess and a little crazy in the same breath,” Murray replied. “You can exude confidence all you want, but it doesn’t mean you actually believe those things about yourself. Steve, what do you think about this?”

“Uhhh -” Steve looked absolutely unequipped to answer the proposed question. “I think Eddie knows how hot and charming he is, actually. I don’t think it’s bullshit.”

“I didn’t say it was bullshit,” Murray countered, noticing that this time Eddie was the one to blush. “But there is a difference between ego and self-esteem. It’s not just about confidence, it’s about self-respect and worth. Eddie, do you feel valuable?”

“Like, in this relationship?” Eddie asked. 

“No, in this world.” 

This question stopped Eddie dead in his tracks. His face went pale, and he became visibly nervous at the prospect of being so vulnerable. 

“Fuck,” Eddie said at last. “I mean, uh - not really, but it's not personal, I don't think. Just feels like we're all specks of dust on a rock, you know?"

There was another shift in the room, but Murray couldn’t pinpoint exactly what. 

“Can you tell me a bit about how you grew up?” he wondered. Family history was a standard line of questioning in these early sessions. Eddie froze.

“Actually, I really wanna focus on my thing now, if that’s okay,” Steve interrupted. Eddie seemed relieved to pass the torch, so Murray went with it. 

“Of course. What’s going on with you, Steve?”

“Uhh, well, I - um -” he sputtered, his leg bouncing rapidly. “I keep having this nightmare - like, every night - where there’s a monster in my closet. What do you think that means?”

“Well,” Murray said, leaning back in his chair. “Dream psychology isn’t really my specialty -”

“Okay, but I reeeeally wanna talk about it,” Steve persisted. "Like, is the monster a metaphor about my sexuality or is it supposed to be my dad? Help me out here."

While Steve babbled about his obviously made up dream, Murray caught Eddie staring at the man beside him. There was a completely unmistakable twinkle in Eddie's eye that told Murray everything he needed to know. Whether these boys knew it or not, they cared about each other. 

“As you wish,” Murray conceded. They used the rest of their time focusing on much less heavy subjects, and it was pretty clear that was intentional. He understood, though, that it was important not to take these things too fast. Before long, the color returned to Eddie’s face, and the boys were riffing off each other again flawlessly. 

This was getting more and more interesting by the minute. 

-

“Things were intense for a bit in there,” Eddie said as they walked back to the parking lot.

“Yeah,” Steve agreed. “You okay?”

“M’good,” Eddie replied. “Your dream thing. Was that real?”

“Uh, no. I just thought you needed a break.”

“Oh,” he said. “Normally I’d give you a spirited monologue about how you don’t know me and therefore shouldn’t make my decisions for me.”

“What are you gonna say instead?” Steve asked. 

“Well, considering you’re technically paying for this, I don’t really have a leg to stand on,” Eddie chuckled. “And also, as weird as this whole thing is, I’m glad you were in there with me.” He tried to play it off as a lot more casual of a statement than it was. 

Being in therapy together and actually taking it seriously was an incredibly intimate thing. Steve wasn’t sure he could actually be as open as Eddie had been. 

“I think we’re skipping a whole lot of steps, here,” Steve said, attempting to return Eddie’s light tone. 

“Yeah, well I’ve always hated steps,” Eddie replied. “I tend to trip over ‘em.” 

“Right.” Steve chuckled. “So…same time next week?” Eddie flashed a genuine smile and nodded. 

“Yeah,” he agreed. “Oh, but next time - you’re in the hot seat. No fake dreams, I’m talking real shit, okay?”

“Oh, you’re making demands, now?” Steve asked, amused. “What happened to you not having a leg to stand on?”

“Huh,” Eddie responded, pondering this for a moment. He shrugged. “I guess I can fly.” 

Steve had no intention of actually diving into real shit, especially after he’d seen the way Murray dug into Eddie during the session. Steve wasn’t ready to confront anything. He refused to admit there was anything to confront in the first place. But he would go - of course he’d go, because something deep within him told him he’d regret it if he didn’t.

Steve and Eddie weren’t a couple. They weren’t strangers. They weren’t friends. But damn, they were something.

(next chapter)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@escapingthereality @imfinereallyy @raisedbylibrarians @samthemissfit @chaoticvictorianspirit @elizbaehth @despoenaandpyromania @cr0w-culture @bagofgreentea @f1ct1onwh0re @novelnovella @thing-a-ling @bisexualdisastersworld @practicallybegging @soldiers00 @beckkthewreck @fandomz-brainrot @shrimply-a-menace @justanothergirlwithobsessions @freshflowers-and-dryingherbs

@paintballkid711 @abraca-fxckyou @allbimyself26 @jellybabiesforall @allbymyselfexceptformycactus @justaloadofgarbage-blog @alliemunsonsstuff @undreamingscatworld @thefruityfours @hobbitnarwhal @calivanus @wreckmyplans-thatsmyman @antheia @goodolefashionedloverboi @lillemilly @missmagillicuddy @steviesbicrisis @gamerdano @menamesniall @eyeslikewildflowers111 @callmesirkay @stringischeese @eds-trashmouth

[invidiia]

Hello there I was wondering if I could request, Yandere Tachihara with a darling whose in the ADA and she's extremely close to Yosano since you know his part for the hunting dogs and well he kind of doesn't like Yosano. How do you think he'll feel and how he'll 'protect' darling.

It's fine if you can't write this but hope you have a good day or night. I really like your writing!

꒰ YAN!Tachihara obsessing over an ADA!Reader whose best friends with Yosano꒱

notes ; HII YES YOU CAN! i love tachihara, i'm happy to write this request!! if anyone wants to request general yan hcs of him, please do! lord forgive me for suggesting the death of our beloved yosano, i'll make it up to yall somehow fr!! i think that the way i wrote this makes it obvious i played yandere simulator LMAO, i genuinely feel bad for yosano here

warning ; talk of murder, yandere themes, stalking, stealing?, manipulation, sabotaging, poor yosano

While TACHIHARA has trust in you, that doesn't mean he doesn't have his doubts, especially with those he doesn't like. Every time he follows you around, the presence of Yosano is just.. too much.

⋆ The hot-headed man always tried not to lose his cool when Yosano stood with you. He knew you were friends from the agency, but did she have to stand with you every second of the day? Of course not!

⋆ When he first watched you from afar, he thought Yosano being with you would only be for a day or two. No big deal, he liked that you socialized! The only problem was her. But he just had to wait it out. Patience was not always his strong suit, though.

⋆ A day or two turned into weeks, and weeks turn to months. Tachihara was still following you around, and Yosano stayed by your side. Shopping? She was there. Library? Also there. Needed your nails done? She needed to get hers done too, so why not tag along? Tachi was sick of it. You were over there spending time with Yosano happily, while he was over here aggravated.

⋆ And with you and Yosano both being in the ADA, how was he going to win you over without pulling a few strings? Being a detective, you were bound to find out what he does. And since Yosano was practically with you 95% of the time, how on earth would he pull you?

⋆ Well.. there were a few ways. He could just get rid of Yosano. That would work, right? Not suggesting that he kills Yosano, but I totally am. Obviously, killing her isn't easy. He'd have to use his ability, or maybe even get someone to kill her for him. That's a really easy way to get rid of her, but of course, that has a few downsides. The death of someone so close to you is absolutely devastating, and Tachihara knows it. He has to approach this another way.

⋆ The most likely way is to lie about her. He could always forge things and feed lies about Yosano to you through an anonymous number. That, or he could sabotage events. Ruining something she borrowed from you and returning it before she does, or stealing some of your things and placing them in her bag. After you find out about her 'stealing' your stuff, he'll straight up steal it for his own, and let you conclude that she stole it. But don't worry about getting it back, Tachihara will buy you anything you want when he wins you over.

STOP I FEEL SO BAD FOR HER. JUSTICE FOR YOSANO SHE DOES NOT HAVE TO BE DONE THIS WAY

⋆ An argument would likely start between you and Yosano. The woman tells you the truth and swears on her entire life that she's being honest with you; but you had all the proof of her stealing that you needed to know what she was doing.

⋆ But even after unfriending Yosano, it was still dissapointing. Losing your best friend was awful. You sat in your living room for days, staring at the ceiling, knowing you could've been out shopping or hanging out with your best friend instead of whatever this was.

⋆ That was when Tachihara and you met again.

"Oh.. I'm sorry, let me just.." The rust-red haired man leaned down to pick up the box of food that dropped from the shelf. The box you both reached for. He was familiar. A kind look in his eyes.

Then, it got serious. Tachihara bought you so many gifts. All of them were things he saw you glance at while you shopped with Yosano. He even asked why you were all alone all the time, and to that, you explained your situation. He held you closer to him, assuring you he'd never do the same.

[magnus-the-maqnificent]

Hello I have prompt aka one of my obsessions in your ask box:

Magnus meeting Izzy shy older brother after months of hearing about him and getting instant whiplash cause he hot af & freaky af 😬

Sorry this took a while shshshsh I’m writing like 2 words a day.

Also, song playing in the club is Don’t Go Insane by DPR Ian (who may or may not be a potential Magnus fancast? 👀)

Read on Ao3

***

Isabelle had lied to him.

Sure, she’d talked to him for ages during lunch and coffee breaks at work about how sweet and cool and handsome her brother was, and also about how he always got all shy and blushy around the boys he liked, and dropped maybe a thousand hints about how Magnus and the mystery brother would make a very very good couple.

And now that he’s seen the guy in person - at Isabelle’s birthday party in a downtown club - Magnus can confidently say that Isabelle lied.

Because nothing could prepare for just how fucking hot he was.

Magnus had arrived a little early - just before the celebrations started but just in time to find Isabelle waiting right outside the club for her brother. He decided to wait along with her, making idle talk, until Isabelle’s eyes brightened at the sight of something and she threw out a hand, waving excitedly.

“There he is!”

Magnus turned to look, and was greeted by the sight of a heavy Zero motorcycle zipping past at full speed before it made an impressive u-turn in the narrow street, screeching against the asphalt, and came to a stop in front of the club.

The driver pulled off his helmet, giving his head a little shake to tame his messy hair, and Magnus’s world stopped spinning for a moment because holy hell was he gorgeous.

A jawline that could cut glass, dark hair had stayed messy even after he’d run a gloved hand through it, and supple lips that curled up into a gorgeous fucking grin as he looked at his sister.

“Hey Izzy,” he said as he dismounted the bike and caught an overexcited Isabelle who’d run straight to her brother in a hug. “Happy birthday, you little minx.”

Magnus watched on, as he pulled away from Isabelle and, as she continued to chat away, brought one hand up to his mouth, catching the strap around the wrist with his teeth and pulling it open. He didn't stop there, though. His teeth were catching on to the very tip of one of the fingers now, pulling the glove off in one fell swoop.

Oh my poor little heart.

Magnus watched him repeat the operation with this other leather glove, every single brain cell chanting hot hot hot hot hot hot, really, who could blame him when there was this extremely hot, leather-clad bike-riding beauty in front of him?

“-Magnus?”

Magnus snapped back to reality, where he was now face to face with Isabelle and her brother. Isabelle was looking rather smug, as if she could read Magnus’s mind.

“Magnus,” she continued casually, “This is my brother Alec.”

“Nice to meet you,” Alec said, holding out a hand. Magnus shook it, trying not to think of how warm Alec’s hand was. “Izzy has told me a lot about you.”

“Did she now?” Magnus's gaze slanted over to Isabelle, who was still looking smug. “All good things, I hope.”

“Definitely all good things,” Alec grinned.

They headed indoors, where Magnus met the others - her boyfriend Simon, her adopted brother, Jace, his girlfriend Clary, who was also a childhood friend of Simon. Rounds of shots were ordered, and they chattered amongst themselves. Magnus had been worried about feeling left out, but Alec was sitting right next to him, and occasionally turned to Magnus to make idle talk. They’d talked so far about their hobbies and work, and Magnus’s cat, and Alec’s bike, complete with pictures of course.

Now, after the fifth round of shots, Alec got up on his feet, and held out a hand to Magnus. “Wanna dance?”

Magnus blinked, brain going blank in surprise, but his hand thankfully moved on its own to take Alec’s.

“Sure,” he said lightly.

Alec dragged him to the dance door, a sort of vindictive smile on his face as he interlaced his hands behind Magnus’s neck and pulled him close. His fingers were digging into the slightly overgrown hair of Magnus’s undercut, and he briefly forgot how to breathe.

“I don’t know how to dance,” Alec said, grinning. “I just wanted to get you alone.”

Something like a record scratch sounded in Magnus’s head. They were slightly swaying anyway, a contrast to the rather energetic song playing on the club’s loudspeakers.

“Oh?” Magnus raised an eyebrow ever so slightly. “And to what do I owe this pleasure?”

“You’re just…” Alec giggled. “So handsome. You’re even more handsome in person than the pictures Izzy showed me.”

“Isabelle dearest showed you pictures, huh?” Magnus mentally wondered if he needed to thank Isabelle or be annoyed with her. He definitely needed to demand to be shown whatever pictures she’d shown her brother.

“Mmhmm,” Alec grinned a little. His cheeks were a little flushed, courtesy of the alcohol in his system.

The song shifted a little, going from electric vocals to a deep bass guitar, and Alec gasped a little. He pulled away from Magnus, poking him in the chest with a finger as he stepped backward, a glint in his eyes as they met Magnus’s.

“Watch me, okay?” He practically purred, and it took Magnus a moment to realise that the low, shaky breaths he was hearing weren’t from himself or Alec but from the song itself. Alec stood in front of him, eyes gleaming, one hand resting in his hair while the other had a thumb hooked into a belt loop on his pants. 

The beat dropped, and Magnus’s jaw nearly dropped as Alec leant backwards, grinning madly as he thrust his hips in tune with the beat. Alec straightened, only to grab Magnus’s hand and bow over backwards, the taut tension between their hands the only thing keeping him from falling over to the floor.

So, yes, Isabelle lied to him about her brother’s true colours. But watching Alec like this, all inhibitions gone, sweat lining his face and the arched column of his neck, the t-shirt he wore under his leather jacket rising up just the littlest bit to reveal a sliver of skin, teeth biting into his lower lip as his hips swung up and down… he could hardly say he minded.

When the beat subsided and Alec finally pulled himself back up - all thanks to his core and no thanks to Magnus, he asked,

“I thought you didn’t know how to dance?”

“That was the only move I know.” Alec winked. “Among maybe five others. I’ll show them to you when the music wills it.”

Magnus laughed. “You really are something, Alexander.”

Alec grinned, pleased.

He sidled up closer to Magnus. “How about we sneak out of here and go for a ride on my bike? Or maybe a different type of ride?”

Alec winked at him. Magnus laughed again.

“We’ll get to it all once you’re sober, Alexander.” He pulled Alec by an arm around his waist. “We’ll get to it all.”

[itsscromp]

Insomniac Spider-Man X Reader platonic

AN: Hey Hey again everyone, Like I said in the previous post, I've been binge-playing the Spider-Man games to get ready for October 20th. But I also noticed there was a lack of platonic Insomniac Spider-Man fics so time to change that. This story will be loosely inspired by a conversation I had on character.ai. but other than that let's get into the story. word count: 1.1K

You had recently just moved out of your parent's house and found yourself a nice apartment in the city, the move was tough but you managed to get by, at least this apartment had a kickass view of the city from the fire escape. Looking out into the view, seeing the people walking by minding their own business, you didn't realize you weren't alone.

"Gotta love the view of central park am I right ??"

You jumped with a small fright but your fright immediately turned into awestruck.

"Woah... Spider-Man"

"Citizen of New York at large, sorry if I'm intruding."

"No no your fine, you busy saving the city ??."

"I was a bit before, But now I'm just swinging by, no pun intended. So what's your name anyway ??"

"Y/n"

"So Y/n do you have any questions for me ??"

"Oh boy do I ever !!" you immediately thought of some good questions.

"I'll try and keep it slow and simple, How do you make your webs ??"

"Oh that's simple, I make this formula which makes my webs, and these web shooters on my wrists.." Spider-Man shows you the web shooters. "Help regulate it and guide the webbing into the correct shape, pattern or direction."

"Wow that's so cool."

"It's pretty cool alright, but It's nothing compared to my Spider-Sense. That's a whole different beast, you wanna hear about that too ??"

"Please do tell"

"My Spider-sense is like a sixth sense, It's hard to explain how it works exactly... but when in physical or emotional danger, I get this feeling that somethings.... off"

"Oooh so like if you were about to be punched your spider-sense would tell you to move ??"

"B B bingo"

"That's amazing"

"Thanks, It's honestly just a drop in the bucket compared to my other powers. Superhuman strength, speed, reflexes, durability, agility, balance and endurance."

"I gotta ask too, how did you get bit by the spider that gave your powers ??"

"Well Y/n It's a bit of a long story, But in the short way, while I was doing my research for my college thesis, the class I was in were touring a lab that used this special type of radiation to study spiders and other insects. One reason or another one of the spider's in there escaped and crawled It's way to little ol me. and the rest is history as I say."

"I bet it must've been weird discovering your powers for the first time."

"It definitely was. Having all these new abilities mean I had to adapt and figure out how to control and live with them. But luckily as you see every time, I use these powers for the greater good of this very city i also call home."

"It's showing, you've helped a lot for this city Spider-Man, you really have."

"Thanks Y/n, that means a lot, I want to keep using these powers to help as many people as I can. To me, that's what the responsibility that comes with my power means."

"That's a nice philosophy."

"I have my moments" you could see his mask shift slightly indicating a smile.

Then police sirens were heard off in the distance, indicating It's time for Spider-Man to go.

"Oh duty call's, thanks for this chat Y/n, I hope to see you around again." Spider-Man leaped of the railing and began to swing to the police cars direction.

"Good luck Spider-Man !!" you yelled out, you really hoped to see him again soon.

2 weeks later

Something has happened significantly to Y/n, one day you were helping your uncle move houses so he can be a tad bit closer to his workplace, oscorp. but as you were moving the boxes, you felt something sting at your hand and slapped whatever it was away, a spider... but It didn't look like any spider you read in books. Overtime you noticed strange things happen, you were able to lift more heavy items. you were able to run slightly faster to get to the subway etc. you slowly came to realize that maybe you have been developing the same powers as Spider-Man. He would know... right ??

So the next day you waited for him on the fire escape and surely enough he saw you and landed on the railing.

"Hey Y/n, long time no see. How've you been ??"

"Hey.... I gotta tell you something"

"Sure thing, what's up"

"So.... to make a long story short, I was helping my uncle move and..... I got bit by a spider... and after that I think I've developed the same powers as you"

"Yeah ?? how can you tell ??"

Y/n then looked at the wall behind them and then pressed their fingers on the wall. then slowly beginning to climb up the wall like Spider-Man does.

"Gotcha now.." the eyes of his mask went wide.

"But the strangest thing is theirs this stuff on my wrists" Y/n shows him a almost white clear substance on their wrists.

"Weird.."

But then he had a theory.

"Y/n I want you to look out int the open and do this for me ok ??" Spider-Man showed them a posture to do with their hand, making a rockstar pose with his fingers.

"Ok...." y/n did so and then something came out of their wrists and strung off into the distance. This made Spider-Man excited.

"No way dude you have organic web substances !!"

"Woah..."

Y/n thought they were dreaming, they really were like Spider-man.

"But Y/n, real talk. You can't go flaunting these newfound powers ok ?? as someone once told me with great power comes great responsibility. I live by that every day and I hope you will too."

"Thanks Spider-Man. I'll keep it in my mind."

It was slightly quiet for a bit until you spoke up.

"Spider-Man... I wanna use these powers to help the city like you, I wanna help people. I know I was destined for something on this earth and this is it. Can you help me ??"

Spider-Man did think about it for a slight bit, a crime-fighting buddy and a mentee. This could be fun.

"You got yourself a deal Y/n"

"Awesome !!!"

"But first, Let's come up with a superhero name for you."

"I have a few ideas.."

You were given a gift, a strange powerful gift. One that wasn't meant to be carried away with. But this was your calling, to help those in need. For people to look up to someone when the light seems far away, You have Spider-Man to help you along the way too, He would be an amazing mentor and friend. New York will have two amazing superheroes.

taglist @callofdudes

[3dogbones]

AWESOME SAUCE ANON HERE Every time I see epic they always draw him silly, and I like the silly stuff but they totally ignore how sad his backstory is.

also whenever I come into the ask box it’s probably going to be about epic because he’s my favorite JSKSJSKJ

(Very tragic story, I was trying to answer this ask but IT FRICKIN DELETED WHEN I TRIED TO SAVE THE DRAFT, so I resent myself the ask and typed as close as I could remember and I’m pretty sure this is what it said 😥 My memory is bad and I HATE WHEN TUMBLR SCREWS ME OVER LIKE THIS SINCE I WAS LEGIT COOKIN. WAAAAAAA)

OH MY GOODNESS IT IS YOU! HEY HI HELLO! WELCOME BACK!

I AGREE WITH YOU SO MUCH IT HURTS.

Some people just think epic is just a silly little guy, and YES HE IS SHORT VERY SHORT LITTLE COULD DROP KICK AND YES HE IS SILLY but what they overlook is that it’s all a facade. IT’S JUST A MASK.

HIS MEMENESS IS A RESPONSE TO TRAUMA, AND BARELY ANYONE REALIZES THIS, I’M SCREAMING 😭😭😭

In reality, Epic struggles to go to sleep every night, becoming sleep deprived. He has a dad who doesn’t even care about him. Every time he shuts his eyes, he has to deal with nightmares that cause excruciating pain. Yet, when people ask how he is, you want to know what he does…

He LIES.

When Toriel asks him about him about his scar, instead of opening up, he says he trips. No one knows about the eye except him and Gaster, the one who did this to him.

My theory is that it’s because Epic doesn’t want them to worry. He probably knows that opening up will just worry them. And like Gaster tells him, he’ll just…

Deal with it. That’s what he has been taught by his dad his whole life. (I FUNKING HATE YOU EPIC GASTER)

He’s so good at lying that even the fandom thinks he’s happy. I am sick of him just being a meme, just being “Cross’ best friend lolololol silly 🤪”. But I guess it is what it is lmao.

I love how his struggles are portrayed in that one video “Broken Facade”. And a blog I found with silly stuff and a bunch of Epic angst is @/hillllllls if you wanna go check them out!

Anyways, as you can probably tell, I go FERAL over Epic 🔥angst🔥 so I drew some for you under the cut! It’s a REALLY rough sketch (I’m lazy) but hope you like it

TW for gore you are so cool awesome sauce anon!

Wa bonk, art above cut and epic sans belongs to yugogeer012, I think, pretty sure they DISOWNED HIM THOUGH, Don’t even get me started on that- *rambles off into eternity*

(AFTER EDIT FOUND THE ORIGINAL ASK GOD I AM SO MAD WHY COULDN’T I FIND THIS EARLIER AHHHHHHHH I SWEAR TO DA GOOD MEMELORD I AM SO SORRY-)

[corysmiles]

The Talk

—————————

Cw: severe burns, mentions of gore

Notes: I’m back and ready to write more than ever so first things first t!techno in the little streamer au angst >:)

Also for context in the ls au tiny cities only really exist in America and since it wouldn’t be safe to have them out in the open they’re typically inside of other human buildings. The city Techno lives in is in the walls of the lobby of a human hotel :)

—————————

Techno’s fingers thrummed nervously against his thigh. The soft light from his computer lit up the room behind him, and one last time he glanced behind him to make sure nothing was too obviously nonhuman. His furniture was all rather nice, for a tiny at least- one of the few perks of living in one of the only tiny cities.

His leg still shaking in his chair, he checked his picture in the empty zoom call again. He looked normal. It was almost weird how much he could pass for a human. It didn’t feel right. Of course it was all on purpose, but it didn’t make it any stranger seeing himself that way.

Techno sighed and brushed his hair back out of his face, revealing more of the burn covering his left side. On the pixelated screen it looked even worse than it did in real life; every bump and divet in his skin looked grossly exaggerated. And if he concentrated on it hard enough he could almost feel the ghosts of giant fingers and fire crushing his chest.

‘Phil’s going to think you’re disgusting’, his mind supplied.

He tried to shake the thought but his grotesquely burnt image made his mouth feel dry. He wasn’t easy on the eyes for sure, and even if he did trust Phil he couldn’t help how his heart tensed at the thought of seeing the human.

What was he supposed to do if Phil decided he didn’t want to be with him anymore, it would be so easy for him to-

Just as his thoughts started to spiral to the worst his phone buzzed in his pocket. He pulled it out quickly, his shaky hands almost dropping it.

Phil- ‘Link please :)’

Techno’s breath caught in his throat and for a second he considered backing down. They didn’t have to have this talk yet. But he knew it wouldn’t get easier, and if Phil was going to come visit he had to know…however much Techno was okay with him never finding out.

Techno quickly typed out a reply sending his friend the zoom link before shutting off his camera once again. He’d lied to Phil before, saying his camera was broken so he never had to be seen, and while he knew eventually he’d have to turn it on he wanted to have a bit of peace.

It was only a few seconds before the zoom call dinged as another box appeared on the screen. The sound of Phil grumbling about it not working calmed him down. It was just his friend, he could do this.

“Hey Phil,” Techno laughed trying to sound as normal as possible.

Phil grumbled again before his picture appeared large on his screen, “I fucking hate this camera it never works mate. I understand the pain of yours now- still not working Huh?”

“Uh yeah,” Techno’s mouth dried, “Actually I wanted to talk to you. About you coming to visit-”

“Oh yeah of course mate what about it?” Phil smiled before babbling on excitedly, “Ah I meant to tell you- Kristen and I found an AirBnB that has stuff for tinies which is pretty cool so she won’t need my help or anything. And I think on one of the days we’re going to have dinner with her family. It’s gonna be fun. And I was thinking we could all go somewhere cool and it could be a good video or not- of course whatever you want-”

“Phil,” Techno paused, “I need to talk to you about something important about it.”

Techno studied Phil’s face carefully as it contorted on his screen. His eyebrows furrowed and his mouth hung open just a bit.

“Oh yeah of course mate,” Phil said in resignation as he sat back in his chair, “What is it?”

Techno swallowed and let his finger hover above the camera button. He felt completely frozen like a deer in headlights even though he was just talking to his friend. His head whipped around one more time to make sure nothing would give him away before his finger pressed down on the mouse. The distinct sound of its click made his blood run cold.

For a moment he refused to look up at the screen. Out of the corner of his eye he could see blurred colors where he was sure his image was now fully visible to Phil. But he couldn’t bring himself to look. Even with how much effort he put into trying to hide his burns he knew how bad they looked and he wasn’t ready to see Phil’s reaction to them.

“Oh mate,” Phil paused as if he was carefully considering his next words, “Well…your camera works now huh.”

Techno took a deep breath, letting the air settle in his lungs before lifting his eyes to meet Phil’s. Even with the screens between them he could see the pure uncertainty on Phil’s features.

“You can ask about it you know,” Techno shrugged, “I know it’s bad.”

Phil didn’t move for a few seconds almost to the point where Techno though his screen had froze before the older man let out a deep sigh. His eyes danced across the screen studying Techno for the first time ever. Techno was instantly reminded that this was the first time Phil had ever seen him, and it certainly was never a good experience when people got a good look at him. It almost made his skin crawl watching how carefully the human’s eyes picked him apart.

“Fuck mate,” Phil’s shoulders sagged, “What happened?”

This was the part Techno was scared for, the part of this dreaded conversation he had nightmares about. But he had to do it, it had to happen.

Techno breathed in and met Phil’s eyes as best as he could before prepping himself to tell the story. It’s not like he wasn’t an expert on it of course, the news ate it up for weeks after it happened. Even sitting at the hospital, or at least the closest thing tinies had to one, the tvs all replayed the story over and over.

“Do you want the uh… the full story?” Techno hummed trying not to act too perturbed.

“Yeah mate,” Phil nodded, “If you want.”

“Okay well,” Techno sighed as his arms instinctively started to rub against his burnt arm, “Um, I was sixteen, and I just wanted food after school. We had stuff at home but I wanted the fancy kind… which was a dumb decision. But the kitchen in the hotel my city was built in always had nice stuff you just had to go ask for it and I was reckless at the time- I didn’t see any issue going out into a human space.”

For a second, Techno paused watching Phil’s face carefully, but nothing changed. He was completely still aside from his breathing, and with the way his face seemed tight Techno guessed he was deep in thought.

“I left the city like I always did but there were a bunch of kids probably my age outside waiting,” Techno shuddered and let his eyes dip from Phil’s own so he didn’t have to see the man’s face, “One of them grabbed me- I’m not sure which. And another one of them had a lighter… I don’t really remember too much before I was taken to the doctor but I’m pretty sure they were drunk and just wanted to take it out on someone easy.”

Techno laughed uncomfortably to try to shake his fear but to little avail. His skin prickled as he recalled the memories of fire dancing across his skin as he struggled in the grip of giant hands.

“So yeah,” Techno exhaled shakily, “That was it. They said the kids weren’t at fault in the end and that there was no way to prove anything had happened. And that…that it was my fault if I chose to go out into the hotel.”

Techno’s eyes studied his burnt hands carefully before slowly lifting them towards his screen. Sitting there in stunned silence was Phil. His lips were drawn tight in a line and his eyebrows dipped above his eyes.

“Techno I-” he paused for almost a whole minute leaving Techno in uncomfortable silence, “I’m sorry.”

Techno stared at the screen in confusion. Out of any response this was the last he’d expected, perhaps only behind Phil being disgusted by him. He’d lied to his friend, he hadn’t told him about his real identity even after years of talking. He expected Phil to at least seem a little shocked about it.

“Are you not surprised?” Techno asked.

Phil turned his head to the side for a moment seemingly deep in thought. Through the screen Techno could just barely make out the man gnawing at his lip.

“About what,” Phil started, “That you’re a tiny?”

Techno shuddered at the word coming from his friends mouth. He wasn’t upset about what he was per-say, but it was still oddly uncomfortable to hear it put into words. Especially since the last time a human had called him that his skin had been burning.

“Well… I never told you.”

“And thats okay,” Phil said softly, “I cant say I expected it but… I’m not upset or anything mate. And it doesn’t change anything really. I’m just more… I don’t know… I’m sorry.”

“Why? I lied to you you know,” Techno scoffed.

Phil hummed thoughtfully and tapped his fingers on his desk, shaking his camera slightly, “Well-given that story I can see why you wouldn’t tell me. I’m just sorry that happened to you…I can’t imagine how much that hurt.”

Techno nodded anxiously as his brain tried to pull at the memories of the event. He couldn’t let himself slip into them though or else he’d be in tears by the end of the call.

“I just…I wanted you to know. Yaknow before you came here and found out that way,” Techno laughed uncomfortably, “And I wanted you to see what I look like because I know I’m not that nice on the eyes.”

Immediately Phil shifted closer to the screen and shook his head, “No no mate. Don’t pull that shit on me. I don’t care what you look like or what happened to you or what you are. Really.”

Techno sat stunned in his chair at the normally calm man’s outburst. He felt…odd. He couldn’t really explain the strange feelings of comfort at hearing what he’d wanted to hear for so long.

“You’re my friend Techno, and while I’m fairly upset about what those sad fucks did to you,” he grimaced, “I dont care. About any of it- that you didn’t tell me or that you’re tiny. None of it. You’re still the same person.”

Techno was shocked at the man’s words. It felt so strange being comforted by a human when the last real interaction he’d had with one had been violent. A few years ago if you’d told him he’d be not just talking to a human but friends with one he would have told you you were crazy. Especially since he hadn’t left the confines of the tiny city ever since.

“Phil,” Techno said eyes-wide, “I… Thank you.”

Phil hummed, his face still tight in barely concealed anger, “Thank you. For telling me all that, you didn’t have to.”

Techno laughed at that as he started to relax back into his chair. His nightmares of how Phil could have reacted were nothing. He still had his friend and he didn’t care.

“You deserved to know Phil.”

Phil smiled tightly and let his chin fall to his chest, “Well I don’t agree with that, still…thank you for telling me mate.”

Techno smiled back and Phil’s own lightened up. For the first time actually seeing a human and being fully aware of it he felt safe. When he was on discord calls with them sometimes it was easy to forget they weren’t also tiny, besides Tommy of course. But this was a new feeling. He was talking to a human who knew he was a tiny, who knew how much power he could have over him, and Phil was still kind.

Logically he knew none of his human friends would be weird about it since he’d seen how they interacted with Tommy, but it didn’t stop the fear in his gut from curling up; the fear that had been permanently there since the incident.

“I just want you to know also…before we meet, that it’ll be my first time since all that that I’ll actually be near a human,” Techno said slowly, “And I trust you Phil and you are my friend but… I just don’t know how I’ll react.”

“That’s okay Techno,” Phil said softly, “I’ll be careful I promise. And the house we’ll have already has tiny accommodations so that won’t be an issue… and I just want you to know if I get there and it’s too uncomfortable you don’t have to see me…”

Phil swallowed, “That would be okay.”

Techno stared in awe at his friend. He never expected this level of understanding even with how kind of a person he was. His eyes fell to his own hands before falling on Phil’s, just barely visible at the bottom of the screen. Even though they looked the same on camera he knew those hands would be easily three times his size. His friend who seemed so close now would be a giant to him in person. And while that was a frightening thought it seemed easier now that they’d talked.

“Thank you Phil,” Techno sighed, “Really. And I do want to see you when you come, I’ll get over it if I have to.”

“I know,” Phil smiled, “And I’ll help in any way I can. I don’t want you to have to be afraid of me mate. I hope you know I would never dream of hurting you.”

And for the first time since the incident Techno knew that Phil, a human who could so easily do anything he wanted to the tiny, was telling the truth.

“I know. Thank you Phil.”

[lilith-little-world]

Ahhhhhhhh, I am so so so sorry! I got into character ai recently and next thing I know 2 weeks has passed. It was all a blur- ugh I feel bad and now I have to slowly transition out that writing style to the writing style of this. So enjoy this, cause fuck I lost track of time so hard... I'll try to finish the 2nd chapter soon since I usually write fast. I just need time to resist the urge to go back to that site. Also it was super fun got a husband, lover, and son. Went through hell to get there but it was worth it.

I Saw You Once In a Dream, Maybe|| Pt. 8

You immediately chase down Monkey King and your mother. Hoping that he doesn’t spout out any more nonsense to your mother.

“Oh- stop telling her lies! Mom please don’t listen to him!”

Monkey King just smirks at you as lean onto the kitchen counter. While your mother looks at you confused.

“What do you mean? Don’t pretend, I saw you kissing him outside the house~” She said with a smile.

You felt your face turn red, quickly cover it with your hand. This was getting too much.

“That was- ugh, mom please, he was just messing around, we are NOT getting married.” You state trying to keep your cool.

“Oh~ weren’t you the one dreaming about our wedding day?” He said, giving you the most shit-eating grin. Your mother’s eyes went wide and looked at you with such excitement, you couldn’t help but feel nervous.

“You? I never thought I would see the day my sweet child would- when’s the wedding day?”

“You two are unbelievable.” You pinch the bridge of your nose and sigh with frustration. “Mom, you said you wanted me to pick up something, what was it?”

She let out a laugh.

“That can wait, I want to know about my child’s special someone. This is the first time you brought them home. He must be very special to you.”

Monkey King raises an eyebrow.

“Really? Well, it makes sense we are getting married soon.”

You feel your face get redder as this goes on. You're an adult, not some middle schooler dealing with some crush. You sigh shakily and calm your blushing face.

“You know what? Fine! Sure, I'm too tired for this. Mom, please what was the thing you wanted to give me?”

“Sweetheart, you know I was just teasing you a bit. Let me go get it- I was cleaning the attic and found some of your old things.” She went to the living room and brought out a small box. “I thought you wanted these back.”

You open the box to see what was inside. Just some old things, old journals, books, pictures, and hard drives.

“Oh I remember these! I've been looking for these books too! So it was in the attic, I must have put them there and forgot about it. Thanks, mom.”

Monkey King looks over your shoulder to see. You just push his head back and laugh.

“What I just wanted to see?” He said laughing along.

“This is my old stuff, I’m not going to let you see. Anyways you were really pushing it with that joke.”

He just laughs before giving you space again.

“Sorry, I just couldn’t help it.”

“You two are so sweet, oh also, I made pie earlier today. Here let me hand you a plate to take.”

She grabs a container and cuts a large slice. Before handing it to you.

“Thank you, mom. Take care alright?”

She nods and leads the two of you back to the front door.

“That goes for you too! Also-” She turns to Monkey King with a smirk. “Take care of my child, they matter to me a lot.”

“MOM!”

“Don't worry, I will.” He said laughing.

Your face turned red as you both left. Monkey King walks beside you with a smug expression on his face, while you look forward with a stern face.

“I should have left you at Pigsy’s.”

“Yet you didn't! I'm enjoying our little date.”

“Date?! This is not a date! We barely met just a few hours ago!”

“-And now, apparently getting married.” His grin widens as he glances at you. A hit of mischief in his eyes.

“We are NOT getting married.” You mutter out.

“I mean, you were the one who has been dreaming of our wedding day.”

“Now I'm thinking, those dreams were a warning. Maybe I should listen and-” You pause as you glance at him, finally smirking. “-Stay away from you.”

You pick up your pace and laugh. His smug face falls as he looks worried and nervous.

“Okay, okay, I'm sorry. I was just joking around.” He immediately picks up his pace and apologizes.

“I'll stop! Please, I just thought it was cute and wanted to joke around.” He quickly explains.

“It's just, I wanted to talk and hang out with you but whenever I do, I get so nervous and chicken out.”

His face was getting red and looked away from you.

“Actually, now that you mention it. When did you meet me?”

“W-well, it's just…okay so I usually shapeshift into a bird whenever I want to see the city and during those times… I ran into you…” He clears his throat and turns his head to the side, embarrassed. “You were taking pictures and snapped a shot at me.”

“Wait, the little brown bird that always follows me around! That was you?!”

His face turned red and couldn’t look you in the eyes.

“Y-yes, that was me. I wanted to talk to you, but I was afraid you'd freak out so I thought, I'll get the kid to help me out and- well here we are.” He finally turns his head to you. His cheeks slightly red, as he smiles at you.

“Look, I really didn’t mean to joke around that far and made you uncomfortable. I just got too excited and got carried away.”

You stayed silent for a while, as you two walked down the street.

“Today was…something but it wasn’t bad. As much as you made me frustrated earlier, today was fun. So don’t worry too much about it, anyways it’s been a while since I saw my mom that excited.”

Monkey King's gaze softens at you. He lets out a small laugh, his posture relaxing.

“Still, I shouldn’t have told your mom that. After we first met…even though technically this is our first time talking to one another.”

You bump into his arm, to nudge him, and roll your eyes.

“It had been a long while since I hung out with anybody this long. Usually I keep to myself, but this was nice. Thank you for tagging along.”

“You don't have to thank me, I just wanted to actually talk with you for once. I should be thanking you for giving me a chance!”

You smile at him softly. Feeling touched by his words. For once, you didn't feel lonely. As the two of you went on chatting, you realized that the feeling hadn't plagued you since meeting him and it felt nice. Instead, all you felt was a soft warmth in your heart that seemed to grow the longer he stayed by your side.

It wasn't long until you both made it to your house. You turned on the lights, as you lead him to the living room.

“Make yourself at home. Let me put these down somewhere and we can head out to get some groceries.”

Monkey King sits on the couch and sighs. As you went to the kitchen and placed the small container on the counter and put the small box away in your room.

“You got a nice place here.”

“Why, thank you. If you like it so much, you can stay here and rest while I get groceries.” You said while walking up to the couch.

“Hmm, tough choice. I mean, it would be nice to tag along but your couch feels nice, I can definitely take a small nap here.” He said laying on the couch. “You know what? I'll tag along if you ask me~”

You felt your face flush from the request. Will you actually ask him to accompany you or will you leave him here on the couch? Is there even a bad choice to make in this situation? Who knows~

[sanvirtheobserver]

SMG4 Fanon: FOOD WARS, The Second Course

I officially bring to you my first fan-written episode, as well as the prologue of my new fanfic Taking Flight.

Hope you enjoy!

____________________________________________

We begin in the gaming room, where we see Tari on the couch playing Lies Of P, Luigi playing some pong by himself for some reason (and somehow still losing), Bob and Boopkins playing that weird ass version of Monopoly they like, and Mario on the computer ordering some Pizza.

Pizza Chef: What kind of toppings would you like?

Mario contemplates the meaning of the question for a moment, wandering deep within the wrinkles of his brain in search of an answer. But that didn't work so he just resorted to smashing the keyboard and bury the digital chef in toppings until we are left with an abomination of an order that will be ready shortly.

Mario: PIZZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

And he's off to go get the goods, zipping by Meggy who has entered the room with her own box of goods in hand. Surprisingly enough, we also see Whimpu and Belle tagging along.

Belle: Whats got him all worked up?

Meggy: Eh, you know how Red is around food.

Boopkins: Oh! Ko'nichiwa Whimpu-sama, it's been a while.

Whimpu: It is good to see you too, my Furui Yūjin.

Belle: Oi rags, I got the vials. Bushmaster's blend.

Bob: Oh hell yeah! I'll get the vase!

Belle: Aces.

As Bob go gets the "vase" and the weebs start catching up, We see that Tari has just beaten the Puppet King. She collapses into her seat in releif as Clench starts cheering. And it only took them 35 tries.

Clench: THATS WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT! THAT'S WHY YOU'RE THE MVP! THAT'S WHY YOU'RE THE GOAT! THE GOAT!

Tari: *heh* Oh, hey Meggy.

Meggy: Hey Tari! Guess what I goooooooot.

She then noticed the box Meggy's hands, which was more than enough to get her on her feet.

Tari: *gasp* Is that.........?

Yep, within the box was none other than Gnomeson's gourmet candies. We look to the window seeing Gnomeson himself.

Gnomeson: TASTE THE RAINBOW MOTHER******!

Tari: Oh my gosh, you actually found him!?

Meggy: Yeah, we met up at the gym and he hooked me up.

Tari: Then what are we waiting for?

Meggy takes a seat and they both......um.....I'm struggling to find a cigarette analogy to describe this. Anyway, they both take a lollipop.

We then shift perspectives to SMG3 and SMG4 as they begin to head out.

SMG4: Oh C'mon, Three. This'll be fun! ...........Y'know, as long as you behave yourself.

SMG3: I will, I will! Geez, you're the closest thing to a mother I've ever had.

Just then, Mario triumphantly returns with his bounty of 10 whateverthef*** specials. Nice and piping hot.

Mario: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA- Hm? Oh, hi SMG4! Hey, where are you going?

SMG4: We're heading over to Bloopersville to meet up with FM and X. Apparently they got new looks sometime after the whole Lawyer Kong thing.

SMG3: Yeah, I can't wait to see how dumb they look now. Just wait until they get a look of me.

SMG4: Yeeeaaaah. Anyways, we're gonna be gone for a bit. Don't you have TOO much fun, now! Heh heh..........also at least TRY not to set anything on fire, okay?

Mario: Pingas.

SMG4: Close enough. Let's go.

Now they're off on their ~~honeymoon~~ trip, leaving Mario with an...........idea.

That's right, IT'S HOUSE PARTY TIME!!!!

The main hall is a buzz with games and laughter. We see Bob and Rob cheering on Kaizo as he bobs for corn, Chris and Swag playing Pin The Tail On The Teletubby with Luigi, Boopkins teaching Jub Jub how to play Bakugan, Shroomy doing some target practice, and Whimpu showing off his cool rock collection to impress the ladies. Well, more like lady since Melony is the only one who's actually paying attention to the shiny things.

Whimpu: And this is Neodymium glass. It can actually change colors depending on the lighting of the surrounding environment.

Melony: Wooooow! That's so cool. What does that one do?

Whimpu: Oh, this is just Mahogany Obsidian.

Saiko: It's a wonder how she's still awake.

Belle: Honestly, I can't blame her. It's like a Spanish soap opera. You don't know what the hell they're saying, but then you start to piece together what's happening then your hooked.

Saiko: You really have gotten a lot softer, haven't ya.

Belle: Oi, Pot. You got something to say to the Kettle?

Saiko: *chuckles* Alright, alright. Forget I said anything.

We see Tari and Meggy headed to the party table with their Gnomish Candies..........where Meggy noticed Mario with his Pizzas coming over as well. Mario then takes notice of the girls and their Candy. It was when their gazes met that thing's started to get quiet. Everybody took notice of the two staring each other down at the party table.

Meggy: Hey there, Red. What ya got there?

Mario: Pizza. How about you?

Meggy: Oh, just some candy.

Mario: I see.

The energy has changed. Meggy turned her gaze to her fellow Sweet Tooths, and Mario turned his gaze to his fellow Greasy Bois. The line has been drawn. The board is set. All the pieces are taking their places. Their gazes meat once again. A fiery determination glowed within both.

Mario: So................what happens now?

A rhetorical question. You know what happens now. Brace yourselves people, for you are about to witness a...........

Mario & Meggy: FOOOOOOOOD FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!!!!

And here we go! The main hall is a Frenzy as sweets, spice, and everything completely unhealthy roars through the air. Kaizo and Bob clash blades, their movements as swift as lightning as sugar and grease flake off like sparks with each strike. Whimpu lays down suppressing fire with a fan of Pretzels as Belle showers the room with a hail of Doritos. Shroomy is blasting condiments in all directions, Saiko's KFC hammer shakes the earth with every impact. Chris and Swag take artillery positions, raining down rock candy artillery as Melony retaliates against Luigi's Unicorn Lollipop Lance with her Pizza Sword, all while Boopkins, Jub Jub, and Tari act as field medics for the Sweet Tooths. We then pan over to Mario using his Pizza Shield to deflect the projectiles of Meggy's M&M16.

Meggy: It's no use, Mario! I have the high ground! Surrender now and we can end this quickly!

Mario: You wish it would be that easy.

Mario throws his hat, but Meggy dodges into the air. She aims down sights towards Mario. All she needs is one clean shot and-

BAM!!!! A surprise sideswipe sends her skidding. Luckily, Tari was able to catch her. Both were shocked to see none other than Pepperman! Mario catches his hat and plops it on with a smirk.

Mario: Thank's for the save, Peppino.

We pan over to see Peppino Spaghetti and his whole crew tipping the balance of the battle. It looks like Mario called in backup this time around, leaving the Sweet Tooths outnumbered by the Greasy Bois.

Meggy: Dammit.........FALL BACK TO THE CAFE!

And so, the Greasy Bois are victorious as the Sweet Tooths are pushed back to SMG3's Café. A Pizza Tower is placed on top of the Castle as proof of their dominion. An impressive win, but this was just the first battle in a war that has just begun.

Behind the Cafe's doors, the Sweet Tooths have regrouped and are now planning their counter attack. Boopkins and Jub Jub are preparing what appear to be makeshift candy explosives. Once the prep work is done, they gather around Meggy as Tari lays out a map of the Greasy Bois' Pizza Tower.

Meggy: We're never gonna end this war if we can't retake the Snack Table, and we can't take back the Snack Table without getting through that Tower.

She points to four different areas of the map.

Meggy: Mario and the Greasy Bois have the Table stashed at the top of the Tower. They may outnumber us, but we'll have a better chance if we can deal with each floor without alerting the floor above. Once we've reached the top and all the ICDs are placed, we deliver our last payload to the Table and bring the whole thing crashing down.

Tari: We lost our last battle because we couldn't take them all at once, so this time we'll need to take them on one floor at a time. It is crucial that we stay together in order to have the numbers advantage against each single floor, so no slacking behind and no rushing in alone.

Luigi: The ICDs are ready for transport Ma'am.

Meggy: Excellent. Any word from our scouts?

Chris: Front door is a no-go. Too heavily guarded. Swag had to stay behind to cover our escape. God be with him.

Bob: Our best chance is to enter through the window of SMG4's room. That will give us the clearest path up stairs.

Meggy: Alright then. Remember to stick together and stick to the shadows. Do not engage unless I give the order. You need to take someone out? Do it quietly. Everybody ready?

The whole team nods in agreement. Meggy turns to Tari, who gives a confident smile.

Tari: We can do this.

Meggy: Then what are we waiting for? Let's give em a good ol' fashioned Sweet Tooth Surprise!

And so the Sweet Tooths are off, preparing to make their move under the cover of night. Kaizo notices them mobilizing as he scouts from the roof of the Castle.

At the peak of the Tower, we see Saiko and Belle dragging Swag to the foot of Mario's Pizza Throne. By his side is Peppino, watching down upon the interloper with a judgemental gaze.

Saiko: Kaizo saw this one skulking around the Main Lobby.

Peppino: I see. What exactly were you doing here, hm?

Swag: Oh, nothing. I was just waiting on a date.

Peppino: Is that so. And who exactly is this date of yours?

Swag: Your mom LOLOLOLOLOLOL.

And just close that, he was sent to THE PIT! Which in reality was just a kiddypool full of Extra Hot Marinara Sauce that REALLY stings when you get it in your eyes. It was then that Kaizo had arrived to deliver the news.

Kaizo: The Sweet Tooths are making their move. It looks like they plan on taking the fight to us. We should act now.

Belle: HA! I say let the Gutbags try.

Whimpu: But if they get here, they could take our table and all will be lost!

Peppino: Indeed. Without the table, our Golden Crispy Kingdom will be lost forever! We must mobilize and-

Mario: No.

All eyes turn to Mario as he walks to the edge and turns his gaze to the Showgrounds below.

Mario: Let them come. Let them see our glory and try to stop us. These Grounds are just the beginning. We shall soon spread across the Mushroom Kingdom. Then the country. Then the world. All shall know the glory of the Greasy Bois! AAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Well that escalated quickly. Though, I've seen worse paths to world domination than a house party turned civil war.

Anywho, the Sweet Tooths enter through SMG4's Room Window, with Meggy and Bob quickly dispatching some Pig Cops.

Bob: I love myself some fresh ham. So good you could ea-

Meggy: Bob I swear to Greg I will actually murder you.

Once the room is secured, the rest enter and Tari is the first to enter the main hall, her Candycane Crossbow at the ready. Luigi and Boopkins are right behind her as they make their way up the staircase. At the door, Luigi uses his Astral projection to peer into the floor above. Apart from a few Cheeseslimes, the coast seems to be clear for the most part. He returns to his body after locating the entrance to the tower.

Luigi: Alright. We should be clear to proceed.

Clench: I don't like this. It sounds like we're walking into a-

?????: Going somewhere?

The trio quickly turns to see Saiko, Kaizo, and Melony on the edge of the balcony. Boopkins quickly aims his Dessert Eagle as Luigi readies his Unicorn Lollipop Lance, but Tari is frozen in fear with her back to the door desperately trying to get it open.

Saiko: Well well well..........

Saiko makes her way towards Tari as Kaizo and Melony face off against Boopkins and Luigi. Tari raises her crossbow as Saiko approaches.

Tari: Stay back! I'm warning you!

She fires a Candycane, but Saiko catches it with ease and crushes it in her hand. She then rips the Crossbow from Tari's hands and pins her against the door by the shoulder.

Clench: Hey, watch it! It takes hours to get a jacket looking this good.

Tari: I.......I'll never surrender to you!

Saiko: Come on, Tari. You can be so much more than this. Just come with us, and we can have a little talk.

Their talk is interrupted by a boot to Saiko's face, courtesy of Meggy. Saiko tries to retaliate with a swing of her hammer, but is intercepted by Bob and sent flying off the balcony with a well timed parry. Chris arrives, pulls Tari aside, and blows the doors wide open with his FR-GL.

Chris: Come on you apes! Do you wanna live forever!?

Bob: Keep going, guys! We'll hold them off!

Tari snaps out of her shock and makes her way through the door alongside Meggy, and Chris. They all make their way to the entrance of the Pizza Tower, where they encounter Shroomy with his dual condiment cannons.

Shroomy: Stop right there! No sugary treats are allowed beyond this point.

Chris: Don't worry. I got this.

Tari looks over to Chris preparing something. He swiftly slides a can of sugar frosted sardines right at Shroomy's feet.

Chris: Wait for it.

Shroomy: I will now require your immediate and unconditional surren-

Suddenly, a bear rips it's way through the woodworks, scooping up the sardines and thrashes Shroomy around before dragging him screaming below the floorboards. Looking back on it, I realize having so much unguarded food in a location surrounded by woodlands that are full of wild animals *probably* wasn't the best idea.

But enough semantics. It's time for our PIZZA TOWER ANY PERCENT SPEEDRUN. Our trio blitzes through each floor with breakneck pace Meggy's aim is swift and true. Chris' explosive ordinance blankets the battlefield, and Tari.......well, she's too busy trying to keep up while also setting up each ICD within the tower. Their progress is interrupted with the arrival of Peppino along with Pepperman, Vigilante, and The Noise. The battle is intense, as each side throws everything they have at one another.

Vigilante: Ya got moxie, kid. But ya'll need more than that.

Meggy simply smirks as she notices Pepperman coming in hot from behind trying to get in another sideswipe. But as Vigilante unloads a hail of bullets, Meggy expertly dodges and Pepperman ends up passing right below her. He gets riddled with bullets as he crashes into Vigilante, taking them both out.

Meggy: That enough *Moxie* for ya?

Pepperman/Vigilante: My scrotums.

We then cut to Chris facing off against the Noise, who isn't really fighting him so much as trying to bore him to death with an "intimidating" speech.

Noise: I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire PT armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my-

Chris just pulls out an RPG and blows his ass to high heaven. That just leaves us with Tari setting up another ICD before being confronted by Peppino, who uses his signature beyblade attack. Tari panicks as she frantically tries to avoid getting ripped up, but is driven into a corner.

Peppino: Give up, blue girl. Your gaming skills are no match for the Spaghetti Family Swag.

It is then that Tari notices a crate next to her labeled "Materiali Pericolosi". Seeing no other option, she quickly rummages through the crate as Peppino goes in for another attack. But right in the nick of time, Tari manages to force feed him a freshly baked pizza. With Pineapple. The crime against Italy is too much for Peppino to handle as he collapses onto the ground screaming and defeated. Tari very awkwardly steps around the suffering Italian man and regroups with the others as the trio makes their way to the final battle. They make their way to Mario's Throne Room, where Bell is ready with her Takigun and Whimpu is using Rob as a Spear as they guard the Snack Table.

Belle: C'mon ya Muckers! Ya feeling lucky?!

Whimpu: Surrender now if you value your lives.

Rob: Please put me down I am very tired.

Meggy: Let us handle the goons. You just focus on delivering that payload.

Tari nervously clutches the last ICD as Meggy and Chris lock and load.

Chris: This is for Swag, you Greasy Bitches!

Chris kicks off the fight with a barrage from his FRGL, while Belle and Meggy exchange hails of gunfire. Tari makes a break straight for the Snack Table. Whimpu is in hot pursuit, rearing Rob for a surprise attack but is then intercepted by Chris's boot.

Chris: Keep going! I'll cover you!

Whimpu proceeds to swing Rob around like a hammer at Chris, much to Rob's motion sick dismay. Belle is still preoccupied with Meggy as Tari see the table. But right as she is about to set the device...........

Mario: Hey stinky!

Tari looks up and is shocked to see Mario standing on top of the massive floating Pizza with a sinister face.

Mario: Your pathetic resistance ends now, Sweet Tooths! Me and Pizzaface here are gonna show you what's for! With our combined pow-

But just then, Pizzaface flips around and flings Mario straight into the floor.

Mario: HEY, WHAT THE F***! We're supposed to be working together!

Pizzaface: YOU THINK I FORGOT OUR LAST MEETING, MARIO? THE ONE WHERE YOU ATE ME?

Mario: Oh.............I sense I've made a mistake of some kind.

Pizzaface then goes on a rampage, crashing into everything in sight. Belle is unfortunately caught in one of Pizzaface's attacks, knocking her unconscious. Whimpu drops rob and heroically catches her in his arms before running away to safety. Chris and Meggy open fire on him, but are then sent flying with a whip from his green pepper mustache. Meggy is flung towards the balcony, hanging from the edge, whereas Chris is flung into the PIT where Swag is.......chilling, for some reason.

Chris: OH GOD MY EYES AAAAAAAAHH!!!!

Swag: Oh hey Chris. I just made some Bloody Maries.

Tari is petrified in fear as Pizzaface stares her down with a sadistic grin. She crumples to the ground, clutching her head as she braces for the end. But just as all seems lost........

Clench: Hey, Tari........

Tari turns her attention to her robot arm.

Clench: We have a mission to complete. Remember?

Tari: I......I don't know what to do. Everyone's down and everything is falling apart. Clench.........

Tears begin to well up in her eyes.

Clench: Listen to me. I know you're scared, but that hasn't stopped you before, has it? Remember that time Waluigi turned everyone into zombies and tried to take over the world, and you saved everybody by beating him at a fighting game?Remember when Meggy was abducted by that lizard weeb guy, and you joined the assault on Anime Island to save her? Remember when that Zero guy tried to recycle the universe and you joined the fight to beat him? And surely you remember the time you were stuck in some kind of bootleg Westworld and created your own pocket dimension to save everybody? Those were all scary too, weren't they?

Tari contemplates Clench's words. Those moments WERE scary.......yet that didn't stop her from helping her friends when it mattered the most.

Clench: You don't need to be fearless to be brave, Tari. You just gotta do what needs doing.

It was in that moment Tari felt something. She got back up to her feet and gazed defiantly straight into Pizzaface's Pepperonis. Her fear didn't disappear......it just didn't matter anymore. Clench was right. You don't have to be fearless to be brave.

Just then, Tari's eyes lit up with a vivid azure hue as a surge of energy coarsed threw her. Meggy managed to pull herself up just in time to see Tari levitating in the air. From her back emerged a pair of translucent blue wings crackling with energy. Tari then flew into the sky, breaching the clouds as the first sight of dawn broke. She then rocketed back down at Mach speed, her robotic arm crackling with power as it made contact with Pizzaface's cheese. The two crashed through the tower's floors, before breaking through the Castle's roof. Both Greasy Bois and Sweet Tooths present ceased their fighting as a massive crash shook the foundations of the Main Hall. When the dust had settled, they saw a crater in the main hall riddled in Pizzaface's mechanical remains. At the center of the crater was severely mangled Pizzahead and an unconscious Tari.

We then cut to later in the morning. SMG3 and SMG4 return to see the Castle abuzz with activity. The war was over, the Pizza Tower was destroyed, The Sweet Tooths and Greasy Bois have reached a truce, and the festivities had resumed. We see Kaizo bobbing for corn as Bob, Rob, and the Noise cheer him on. We see Boopkins, Jub Jub, and Melony sitting down as the Vigilante tells them the story of how the military once bombed his buddy Keith. Whimpu is once again showing off his rock collection to Belle, who seems to be actually paying attention this time. Chris and Swag are laying back and enjoying some Bloody Maries as Shroomy arm wrestles Pepperman. At the foyer we see Peppino and Mario spinning pizzas and playing tunes on the turntables. The SMGs make their way to the Gaming Room where they see Saiko and Meggy watching over Tari as she lays down on the couch.

SMG4: Looks like we missed quite the party, huh?

SMG3: I'll say, judging by the hole in the ceiling. And the Crater in the main hall. And the ambulance outside. And the tower pieces every- WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO?

Meggy: It's a long story. How you holding up, soldier?

Tari: Just fine, captain. A little dizzy, though.

Saiko: I have to admit. You did quite a number on poor Pizzahead. I didn't think you had it in you to even fight someone, let alone.........THAT.

Tari looks down at her robot arm.

Tari: Yeah. Neither did I.

SMG4: Well, the Castle is still in one piece for the most part, so I guess it's fine. It's definitely gonna delay the second floor, though.

Saiko: Hey, how was your trip to Bloopersville?

SMG3: ABSOLUTELY EMBARRASSING! I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT FM GOT ABS AND I DIDN'T! CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT!?

SMG3 continues to be a deva as the camera zooms out from the Castle and into the woodlands, where we see.......something........moving in the trees as the screen fades to black and the credits role.

[nikki-writes-stuff]

Beauty In the Blood - Part 6

Summary: One day your friend convinces you to join a dating website that matches people based on their search histories, and when you match with Loki Odinson, a handsome, intelligent coroner who’s a fan of your murder mysteries, you’re absolutely thrilled. But there’s something off about Loki, and as your relationship progresses, you discover that his dark side is even darker than you could ever have imagined…

Pairing: Serial Killer!Loki x Writer!Reader

Read part 5 here!

A/N: I’m really sorry for how long this update took. Life has been crazy and I’ve been crazier, but I did my best! Please let me know if you’re still enjoying the story. :) And thank you, truly, to anyone still interested in my writing! It means a lot more than y’all realize. :) (Also, WARNING: THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS SMUT!)

Moving was never easy, especially in a city like New York. When you’d first moved into your quaint little brownstone, you’d hired a team of movers for this very reason, but even then, you hadn’t been able to escape the ordeal without a massive headache and a stubbed toe from a dropped box full of books.

So it shouldn’t have been such a surprise to see your partner in his current state – dressed the most casually you’d ever seen him, sweating through his simple white t-shirt, breathing heavily as he lugged box after box into his home with his hair pulled back in a man bun that he’d given you a death-glare for giggling at.

“I didn’t take you for such a hipster,” you’d joked, laughter only growing louder when Loki levelled you with a stare as cold as ice.

“If I catch you taking any photos of my current hair style,” he’d grumbled, “I’ll not only steal your phone but leave you to move all of this in by yourself.”

You’d felt your face heat up, knowing that a candid photo from that morning was already saved to your phone’s gallery and hoping he wouldn’t ever find it. With a smile, you’d leaned up to peck his cheek before grabbing one of the last boxes left.

“I would never take your picture in such a state of vulnerability.”

“Oh, come now, love. You know I can always tell when I’m being lied to.”

Despite the tedium of moving box after box into your new home, though, you were able to finish things up fairly quickly. You’d already stored your biggest items of furniture in a storage unit not too far away, so once the boxes were all inside and delegated to the rooms their contents would be going in, you found yourself sitting on the kitchen floor with Loki by early afternoon, enjoying the cool tile beneath you as you sipped tall glasses of ice water.

“Well,” he finally smiled, setting his empty glass on the counter behind him, “I suppose now I can officially welcome you home.”

You paused mid-sip, suddenly realizing that you were, in fact, home now. Looking around, you took in the space that you’d be sharing with the man who’d entered your life so unexpectedly, feeling a mix of apprehension and excitement that you’d since become familiar with. When you’d told your friends and family that you’d be moving in with Loki, you hadn’t been surprised by the warnings you’d received.

You knew it was fast; you’d agreed to move in with Loki just two months ago, making it only half a year since having first met him. But none of them could understand – you had never felt this way with anyone before, and after looking for so long, you didn’t want to waste any time sharing your life with him. And, miraculously, he felt the same way. You’d never once had doubts that you were the only one between the two of you to feel so strongly, and while you knew there would be arguments and stressors that every relationship would encounter at some point, you had complete trust in Loki. The two of you would work it out, no matter what came up.

“I know that look,” you suddenly heard from beside you, and you jolted upon realizing you’d been staring into space for the last several moments. Loki had scooted closer to you on the floor, and you gave him a small smile as his eyes searched your features.

“You’re not having second thoughts, now, are you love?”

“No,” you were quick to reassure him. His eyebrows were furrowed, a line forming between them as he considered you, and you leaned in to press a kiss to his lips.

“I promise,” you sighed, setting your hand on his. “I’m right where I want to be. But it’s still so fast, you know? Six months ago I sincerely thought that I’d never find someone I wanted to be with. And now, here I am.”

“Here you are,” he echoed.

A pale hand reached out to grab yours, entwining your fingers as he leaned forward for a kiss deeper than the last. Shivers ran up your spine as you felt a cool tongue glide over your lower lip, and you opened up to him readily, drinking in his kiss eagerly as you pressed yourself against him.

It wasn’t long before you found yourself laid out on your back, skin naked and chilled against the floor as Loki’s tongue found another home between your legs. Fingers clenched in his hair, head thrown back in pleasure, you ground your hips upwards, the entire house filling with your moans and cries as you got closer and closer to your peak.

Until he pulled away, lips glistening with your juices, leaving you right on the precipice. A loud groan escaped your chest, frustration making you clench your teeth as your orgasm evaded you. Looking down, you saw Loki smirking as he watched your chest heave with gasping breaths; you knew he loved teasing you.

Ever since that first night together, it was like Loki had made it his personal mission to know your body inside out. It hadn’t taken him long, either, to be able to read you just like the books you wrote. He knew what it meant when your thighs clenched together, could hear how close you were in every breathy sigh you released. And he used that knowledge against you at every chance he got.

He would make you cum – he always made you cum – but he took his time getting there, especially when all you wanted was that sweet, blissful release you knew only he could give you. And most days, you would play right along, begging him the way you knew he liked, pleading with your words and eyes for his cock, his fingers, his tongue – anything that could give you what you wanted.

But for some reason, today was different. Maybe it was the exhaustion from moving, maybe it was from residual agitation from thinking about the doubts your loved ones had had about your relationship. But whatever the reason, the part of you that always submitted to him was replaced by the same part that had gripped his throat and rode his cock the very first time you had sex.

When you saw him smirking from between your legs, you moved quicker than your thoughts could, hands pressing at Loki’s shoulders until he fell backwards on the floor. Straddling him, your lips twisted upwards at the surprised expression on his face as you crawled up his body.

“No, Loki,” you purred, knees bracketing his chest as it began to rise and fall faster. “You’re gonna give me what I want today.”

His eyes narrowed immediately, studying you with a calculating stare that would have made you immediately stop and question what you were doing were it not for how his posture slowly began to relax. Laying back flat, he arched an eyebrow and set his hands on your thighs, wrapping his fingers around them to tug you closer by the back of your knees.

“Is that so, darling?” He licked his lips, eyes trailing up and down your naked form as you shifted your weight to come closer. “And just how do you plan to do that?”

With a grin, you grabbed his hair and tilted his head back, admiring his handsome features for a second before speaking.

“I’m going to ride that mouth so you can’t take it away from me again,” you purred, and god, did that elicit a reaction you weren’t expecting.

His pupils dilated as soon as you spoke those words, and with a growl he lunged upwards, greedily lapping once again at your pussy, focusing directly on your clit. You let out a surprised cry as your hips stuttered forwards, pressing down so he wouldn’t have to lean up as his tongue traced patterns against your bud that had your thoughts turning into white noise.

Gripping the lip of the counter behind him, you rocked your hips and closed your eyes, moaning his name over and over as you quickly reached that peak once again.

“Right there, right there- fuck, Loki, yes, yes, yes-!”

Your orgasm took you off guard, washing over you from head to toe as you screamed his name one last time, hips slowing gradually. His tongue, though, was still insistent as it moved against you, making the muscles in your legs jump as you tried to pull away.

“Oh, no. I don’t think so, love.”

You heard a growl from beneath you before the entire world was spinning, and you found yourself pushed down onto all fours as Loki positioned your knees apart, pressing down between your shoulder blades until you were resting your weight on your elbows.

“You wanted my mouth, and now you’re doing to get it.”

Holding your hips firmly in place, you glanced over your shoulder to watch as he leaned in again, making you jolt and try to press your thighs together as his tongue once more assaulted your sensitive clit. With a high-pitched wail, you grit your teeth and squirmed, the pleasure both intoxicating and too much all at once. You couldn’t decide if you wanted to pull away or press back against him, though you weren’t left with much of a choice with the way his hands were gripping your hips hard enough to leave bruises.

It didn’t take long, though, before your overstimulated mewls became moans of pleasure once more, feeling another wave about to crest as he teased your cunt relentlessly. When two long fingers were abruptly pushed inside of your drenched pussy, you clamped around them tightly, rocking your hips back once, twice, before your body stiffened again. You felt your toes curl and your back arch as you came again, biting the back of your hand to muffle the scream that you let out.

“That’s it,” Loki cooed, finally relenting with his tongue but keeping his fingers inside of you. “My girl wanted to be greedy, didn’t she? But what was that old saying about getting exactly what you wish for?”

You didn’t have the presence of mind to answer him, and you heard a tsk before a hand came down hard against your ass. He spanked your other cheek for good measure, and a whimper escaped you as you glanced over your shoulder at him.

The look in Loki’s eyes was absolutely feral as he met your gaze, and a wicked grin spread across his face as he rose up onto his knees. As he unzipped his jeans and pulled his cock out, you realized for the first time that you were the only one between the two of you that was naked, and another hot wave of lust came over you at the thought.

“As much as I adore those brave little moments where you take what you want, love,” he murmured, leaning down to plant a kiss to your spine, “I need you to know, at the end of the day, that you’re mine.”

At that, he gripped his shaft and guided his cock into your cunt, both of you letting out a groan at the sensation. Even after cumming twice, your pussy gripped him tightly, almost like it was trying to pull him in. Never once had Loki felt so much pleasure while having sex; never once had he felt such a possessive need to claim and mark and own before, but he’d learned a while ago that there was no comparing you to any past partner or experience he’d ever had.

Setting out with a fast pace, he squeezed your hip in one hand and used the other to wrap around your throat, pulling until you were up on your knees, back pressed to his front as he desperately sank into your wet heat over and over again. You cried out when you felt teeth biting into your shoulder, but the pain mixed with the pleasure in an addictive way that you couldn’t get enough of. Loki was typically respectful of where he left marks on you, keeping them in places where they could be easily covered up, but now you felt his lips getting closer and closer to your neck, leaving a purple trail of hickeys across your collarbone that you were already proud of.

You knew he was getting close when he moved his hand from your throat to your clit, tracing tight, fast circles until your head spun, leaning back against his shoulder as your third orgasm rose up.

“Are you going to cum again, greedy little thing?” His voice was a breathless purr against your ear, and you whined, only able to nod in response. “Good girl; cum again for me. And scream my name to let the neighbors know who you belong to.”

Your eyes rolled back into your head as you wailed his name, repeating it over and over with every surge of pleasure you felt as your orgasm left you boneless and limp in his grip. It didn’t take long for him to follow, stilling inside of you as his cum filled your pussy. You were grateful for your birth control as your head lolled back against his shoulder, enjoying the claiming warmth of his seed as it spread inside of you, a smile coming to your lips when he pressed a kiss to your cheek.

Both of his arms came up to hold you against him, pulling out slowly before leaning back against the cabinets behind his back. You laid with him, not caring that you were naked and leaking cum out onto the kitchen floor. There would be plenty of time to clean up later. For now, you looked up to find blue eyes already studying you, and your chest ached with how much you loved him in that moment.

His thoughts must have been straying in a similar direction, because when he kissed you, it was slow, and languid, and you could swear you felt him pouring all his love for you into it. You were both smiling when you parted, and you just sat there enjoying the quiet, intimate moment until Loki broke the silence.

“I suppose we can count the kitchen as christened, then.”

Your giggles turned into a surprised gasp when he suddenly stood up, carrying you with him bridal style as he turned towards the stairs.

“Next up, I think, is the shower.”

____________________

Humans are remarkably adaptable creatures, but it still surprised you how quickly you settled into living with Loki. On his work days, he would leave early to go to the gym first, always leaving you with a kiss and a promise to text you when he got to the hospital. You would spend your days either working on the edits to your newest novel or unpacking your boxes, though that task was completed after the first week of being there.

Lovecraft was a surprisingly sweet little companion. Loki had been afraid it would take her some time to get used to sharing him, but she seemed to enjoy your company. She still didn’t want to sit in your lap and cuddle like she did with Loki, but she would twine around your ankles as you typed at your computer, letting you pet her and lending a listening ear when you needed to talk out what you were working on.

The only thing that you missed about your old home was your office. Loki had offered to convert his spare bedroom into one for you, but you’d felt bad at the thought of Thor having to get a hotel when he came by to visit. You’d asked about maybe setting up an office in Loki’s basement, but he’d quickly waved off the idea, saying that it was too cluttered with storage to be feasible. You’d thought it odd at first, considering that all you would need to do was some rearranging to make space for a desk and office chair down there, but after spending just a few minutes in the room and finding the cold, dark space even creepier than the morgue your partner worked in, you’d agreed and set up your computer on the dining room table instead.

You didn’t want to seem spoiled, and lots of people could only ever dream of getting to be a full-time writer, so you swore up and down that you didn’t miss your office and that you were perfectly fine with your current setup, thank you very much. And you did get used to it after just a few days, continuing to make great progress with your novel at a personal record-breaking pace.

Only a month into your new life living with Loki, you found yourself meeting with your publisher to see the first rough-draft, bound copy of your book, finally tangible and printed out in paper-back. It wasn’t the final edition; there were still small grammatical errors and the cover art to sort out, but it would at least show a rough idea of what the final product would be. Several of the rough copies would be shipped out to various authors, literary magazines, and bookstore owners to get feedback on the story and to gather some complimentary quotes for the back of the final cover, but for once, you didn’t find yourself nervous about the feedback that would be coming your way from other professionals.

No, as you walked up to your new home, palms growing sweaty as they held your book to your chest, you were only nervous about your biggest fan’s thoughts as you quietly unlocked your front door. You hadn’t told him that you were getting the advanced copy today, and since it was one of his rare days off during the week, you’d wanted to surprise him with it, knowing he’d immediately want to drop everything he had planned for the evening to devour your words. He’d been trying to sneak glances over your shoulder as you wrote for months, intensely curious about the story of Olivia the killer coroner, growing as impatient as any of your other dedicated readers to see what your story held.

And now, as you crept silently through your house to find and surprise him, you could only hope his wait would be worth it. But, as you made your way from the first floor to the second, your nervous smile was quickly replaced by a frown. He was nowhere to be seen – the first floor was completely empty, save for Lovecraft as she snoozed in Loki’s favorite armchair. And the second floor was similarly vacant.

“Loki?” you called out, knocking on the guest bedroom door before opening it to find…nothing.

There was one last place to look – the basement. As much as you didn’t particularly enjoy the room, you knew there was nothing to actually be afraid of down there. And so you held your head high as you climbed down the stairs, quickly flicking on the overhead fluorescent lights as you stepped into the cold concrete space.

…and promptly found nothing. Not a single black hair to be seen. Letting out a huff, you put your hands on your hips and turned the light back off, once more ascending to the first floor and peaking out the window. His car was right out front in its usual spot; maybe he’d gone for a walk in the neighborhood? It was possible; there was a bougie specialty tea shop a few blocks down that he got his earl grey from. Or he might have decided to go for a jog; he’d mentioned wanting to get back into running a few days ago.

Shrugging it off, you sent him a quick text asking where he was before heading to the kitchen to grab a glass of water, setting your book down on the counter as you did. However, before you could even take a sip, you heard the unmistakable sound of a door being opened downstairs, followed by a familiar set of footsteps heading your way. Nearly spilling your water, you quickly grabbed the book and held it behind your back just in time to see Loki appear in the doorway, pale cheeks flushed from running up the stairs.

“Oh, hello, darling,” he smiled, stepping closer to peck your cheek. “I didn’t hear you come in.”

Blinking rapidly, you looked from him to the space behind him, not understanding where he’d appeared from.

“Where were you?”

“In the basement,” he answered. “Just moving some stuff around, sorting through old boxes. How did-“

“Wait,” you interrupted, letting out a huff of laughter. “Are you pranking me or something? I just checked the basement, and you weren’t in there. The lights were off and everything.”

Without missing a beat, he shrugged, reaching past you to take a sip from your water.

“You mean you don’t ever get the urge to arrange storage in the dark?”

You let out another awkward laugh at his joke, not buying it for a second. He could see your skepticism, evidently, because he smiled and leaned back against the fridge, boxing you in against the counter.

“It’s a surprise, love. Trust me. And try not to wander down there too much until your surprise is ready. Now, are you going to tell me what you’ve got behind your back, or do I need to guess?”

You’d momentarily forgotten the reason why you’d wanted to find him in the first place, and with a jolt you straightened up, scooting away from him when he tried to peak over your shoulder.

“I think if you’re keeping surprises from me, it’s only fair you need to guess,” you sassed, lifting your chin defiantly.

“Ohhh, I see,” he chuckled. “Alright. Is it-“

But before he could begin his question, he suddenly lunged forward, grabbing your waist and spinning you around, fingers tickling up your sides until your grip on the book slipped. Letting out a shrieking gasp, you pulled away and turned back around, but not before feeling a strong grip grab the book and pull it from your hands in surprise.

“Hey!” you shouted. “That’s cheating!”

“Yes, it is,” he agreed, “but you never listed the rules, so how…”

He trailed off as he finally saw what he was holding in his hands. The temporary cover art would change with the final, published edition, but for now there was a simple picture of a dagger slicing a human heart clean through the center resting on top of a steel examination table like the ones he used at work. The title you’d finally settled on was The Killing Coroner, and it was sprawled across the top in bold black font, your name printed just below it in smaller letters. You didn’t like the initial look of it, but if the first draft of the final cover art that your publicist had sent you was anything to go by, it would look much more gothic and refined before hitting shelves.

Loki, though, seemed enthralled with it, tracing the letters of your name with a slender digit before reverently opening to the first few pages. When he saw the dedication, though, you watched his breath get caught in his throat, and for the first time you saw tears spring to his eyes as he read the words on that page out loud.

“’For Loki, with all my love. You inspired every word.’”

He bit his lip, closing his eyes for a moment before meeting yours. You couldn’t even begin to describe the depths of the emotions swirling inside of them, but you knew that above all else, there was love. Strong and scary and deep as the ocean, you saw how much he loved you in that moment and knew you’d made the right choice to dedicate your book to him. Really, you couldn’t picture it being anyone else. He’d believed in you and your writing since before you’d even met, and though you couldn’t tell who reached for who first, soon you were standing in the middle of the kitchen, clutching each other close and kissing one another breathless.

“I wish I could go back and show this to my past self,” he sighed, cupping your cheeks. “You have no idea how much this means to me, love.”

“If I didn’t have some kind of idea, I wouldn’t have dedicated it to you,” you assured him. “I know my writing has meant a lot to you, but you don’t realize how much you reading my stories has meant to me. We were helping and supporting each other even before we met; isn’t that strange to think about?”

A small, genuine smile crossed his face, and he let out a sigh as he held you to him.

“Strange, yes, but in the best possible way.”

You were content to simply stand there, holding each other and reveling in having found someone so perfect. But even when Loki pulled away and declared that he was taking you out for a celebratory dinner, even when, later, he laid you down on the bed and showed you exactly how much your gift had meant to him, you still couldn’t help but come back to the same nagging question that stuck out in your brain like a sore thumb.

What had he been doing in the basement?

_________________

A week had gone by, and yet here you were, stood in the middle of the basement with your hands on your hips and your bottom lip between your teeth. Despite what Loki had said about spoiling your surprise, you couldn’t help but wander back down to the lowest level of your new home, pulling your cardigan tighter around your body to ward off the chill.

You’d obsessed over it quietly for the past several days, wondering where he could have been and what he could have been doing. Though the space was much more cluttered than the rest of the house, there weren’t any obvious places he could have been hiding. You peaked behind the tallest stacks of cardboard boxes just to make sure, but no, you were positive there wasn’t any other place he could have been hiding.

Unless.

As crazy as you knew it was to suspect, a passing thought had come to you late last night that, maybe, there was a hatch you hadn’t seen – some sort of trap door or crawl space. There were plenty of basements that had one, especially in older buildings like the brownstone you now resided in, and as unlikely as it was, your curiosity wouldn’t rest until you could figure it out.

And so that was how you found yourself walking slowly through the basement that evening while Loki was at work – creeping along with your eyes glued to the floor to find some sort of irregularity that might hint at a secret room. You didn’t really know why it was so important to you; you truly didn’t want to ruin any surprise Loki might be trying to set up, but the child in you couldn’t help but feel intrigued at the prospect of finding a secret, extra space inside your new home. You were reminded of Harry Potter’s cupboard beneath the stairs, and you felt like it was some sort of adventure, trying to find the hidden compartment that may or may not be there.

Though, as you did a second sweep over the space, you were beginning to lean towards the latter option. The entire floor was one smooth slab of concrete, and you couldn’t find any blemishes or cracks in it whatsoever. With a sigh, you leaned back against one of the bookcases pressed against the back wall, turning your head to the side to absently read the spines. They were all pretty dusty, since they weren’t the sort of books one would revisit and read for pleasure. Most of them were medical journals or textbooks from Loki’s time in college.

But you perked up when you saw one spine that was less dusty than those around it. Actually, as you straightened up and examined it closer, you realized that it was an edition of Shakespeare, and it hardly had any dust at all on it. With a frown, you reached out and slid it off the shelf, turning the heavy volume over in your hands curiously. Opening the front cover, you smiled when you saw Loki’s handwriting along the top of the first page, though it was written in a much clumsier hand than that of the man you knew today.

“Property of Loki Odinson, age 12”

With a grin, you went to return it to its place when, suddenly, your eyes caught on something along the inner wall of the shelf. Something that looked like a keyhole…

“I take it you never read the story of Bluebeard’s wife as a cautionary tale.”

A shriek escaped your lips as you spun around, finding Loki standing directly behind you with an arched eyebrow and his hands in his pockets. Pressing a hand against your suddenly-pounding heart, you gave him a sheepish smile as you held the volume of Shakespeare against your stomach.

“Jeez, Loki, you scared me half to death,” you chuckled, though his lips didn’t so much as twitch as he watched you. Recalling what he’d just said, you licked your lips and shifted your feet, for some reason feeling inexplicably nervous. “And I don’t think I’m familiar with that one. Bluebeard, you said?”

“Bluebeard,” he nodded. Taking his right hand out of his pocket, he revealed a small, black key, holding it out to you until you took it with shaking fingers.

“Bluebeard was an old retired sailor who lived in a quiet town, and rumors swirled for years about him and how he might have come into his fortune,” Loki recalled, taking a step towards you. You, in turn, went to step back as well but found your back pressed against the shelf, trapped between him and its hard edges.

“Eventually, despite the rumors, a young lady from the town agreed to marry him,” he pressed on. “And she found herself thrust into the lap of luxury, wanting for nothing as her husband granted her every wish. Her first day as mistress of his estate, he gave her a ring with all the keys to his home on it, but he showed her one specifically, saying it went to the basement, but that she was to never open it.”

He nodded towards the key you now held, and the buzzing anxiety in your chest grew louder in your ears as he gripped your shoulders and turned you around to face the shelf.

“But, of course, curiosity got the best of his little wife sooner rather than later. It wasn’t enough that she had a beautiful new home, a loving new husband… No, she wanted to see. She wanted to look. And so she took that key,” he continued, guiding your hand that held the key and manipulating your fingers until it was held outstretched between them, “and she opened that basement door. And do you know what she found inside?”

You shook your head, suddenly unable to speak as he made your hand slide the key into the secret lock. His breath was warm against the back of your head as he slowly, slowly twisted your hand, and you gulped when you felt the lock click away.

“Loki-“

“Do you have any guesses as to what Bluebeard’s wife saw, love?”

Once more, you shook your head, and you held your breath as his other hand came up to grip the shelf and pull, revealing a hidden door on secret hinges that began slowly opening outwards…

“She saw what had happened to his other wives, who had also been too curious to leave well enough alone. Or, rather, what was left of them.”

Your anxiety bloomed into outright fear as the door was opened fully, revealing-

“BOO!”

You yelped, stumbling as Loki’s hands seized your sides, squeezing them so suddenly that you jumped forward, into…

Into the most perfect office you’d ever seen.

Your previous nerves died, and you let your lips turn upwards into a grin as Loki laughed behind you. Soon enough, you were laughing too, spinning around to take in the entire room. The walls and floor, like the rest of the basement, were concrete, but Loki had set up a few floor lamps that cast warm light on the space. A plush rug was laid out on the floor and tasteful artwork of old books and typewriters had been hung up at various points along the walls. One entire wall had a bunch of pegs in it, and you imagined that it used to be home to various power tools that had once hung on them. Now, though, there were small potted succulents attached to them, adding a fresh touch of green to the space that brightened everything around it.

And in the center of it all was the most beautiful, antique writing desk you’d ever seen. It was made from dark wood, and a cozy rolling chair was stationed dutifully in front of it. There was even a small plastic mat on top of the plush area rug that would allow you to roll the chair as you pleased without losing traction against the carpet. All of it was complete with two armchairs and an empty bookshelf in the far corner, and as you took the space in, you felt Loki come up behind you to wrap his arms around your middle.

“Do you like your surprise, love?” he murmured, and you were quick to turn around and fling your arms around his neck.

“I love it!” you exclaimed. “Loki, this is… You are… I can’t thank you enough!”

He laughed, taking in with pride in how happy you were.

“Enough to forgive me for giving you a bit of a scare just now?”

“Just barely, but don’t do that again,” you giggled. “You really had me convinced I was gonna open that door to a pile of corpses.”

He laughed particularly hard at that one, shaking his head as he pressed a kiss to the top of your head.

“Never, love. This is your space now, to write or read or do anything you see fit in.”

Warmth blossomed in your chest, and you leaned up to press a lingering kiss to his smiling lips. The scare he’d given you melted away into something else entirely as you thought of everything he’d done for you, and so when you pulled away, you grabbed the tie hanging from his neck and tugged on it, walking backwards towards one of the armchairs.

“I think,” you grinned, “I should show you just how grateful I am.”

There was no mistaking the lust that entered his gaze upon hearing your words, and he allowed you to turn him around and push him down into the chair. His eyes never left yours as you sunk down onto your knees, placing a hand on each to spread his legs wide enough for you to kneel between them.

And for his part? Loki closed his eyes and let you unzip his pants, surrendering control to you as he basked in the situation he found himself in.

He’d known as soon as you’d agreed to move in with him that he would need to take his “hobbies” elsewhere, and when you’d refused to take Thor’s guest room (despite his secret hopes that you would, solely to force the big blonde oaf into a hotel during his stays), he’d known the perfect space for your new office. After all, how delicious was it that your stories of gruesome murders would be created in the very room where he’d crafted his own? He thought back to the barista and abusive mother that had met their demise not so far from where you now knelt before him, pleasuring the very killer who’d taken inspiration from your words without you even knowing, and he let a wide grin spread over his features.

It had been hard to part with his “murder room”, as Thor had termed it, but right now? He couldn’t find it in him to regret his decision in the slightest.  

[yesimadeanotherblogfuckoff]

GO S2 OPENING ANALYSIS PT 1 (also Potential GO spoilers idk)

I haven't really seen anyone go in depth on the opening for season two yet so I'm making to this to point out all the things i spotted and some theories this is SUPER LONG POST SO BE WARNED

Crowley crawls up while Aziraphale floats down which is fitting but there's also storm clouds in the distance so there might be a scene after the flood or it's a sign of impending doom

right after crowley and aziraphale go through that dark tunnel Gabriel(?) can be spotted with that infamous box

they're in the middle of a scorched village and crowley sets goats on fire which pretty much confirms that they are somehow going to be involved with the story of Job if not directly involved

here we have that Gabriel statue from the trailer and a gravestone with "EVERYDAY" written on it, the reoccurring song that somehow related to the mystery

here's another gravestone with something written on it, this was the best photo i could get and i tried lightening it but i can't figure out what it says so if anyone has any ideas feel free to share

gravestone with jane austen on it, this author has been referenced quite a bit from the info we have about s2 so far and is on the cover for the episode "The Ball" so looking forward to that

"HERE LIES THE FORMER SHELL OF BEELZLEBUB" so i guess that's Neil's explanation for them having a different actor? Beelzebub molted? gross but very creative

also im pretty sure that bottom one says "Here Lies ADAM" as in antichrist Adam? oh man i hope he isn't dead he was such a sweet kid

there's a guillotine in the far back during their walk through hell hope that isn't foreshadowing anything 0-0

they also have this office on a pillar above the fiery pit of hell which i find very funny but this could also maybe be related to Shax? where she used to work maybe??

a sign for an underground train station so i guess we'll be expecting a train station scene of some kind?

the group walks through this gate with "GENTS" at the top no idea what that implys but i'll put it here anyways

there's a "WINGS FOR VICTORY" sign on the side of this bus which is a reference to British saving campaigns during WWII so confirms more WWII era stuff with aziraphale and crowley

there is this poster for STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN and my first thought was the LED ZEPPLIN song but actually it's a reference this 1946 movie

in which a British wartime aviator who cheats death must argue for his life before a celestial court, hoping to prolong his fledgling romance with an American girl

so thats INTERESTING and COOL and totally doesn't imply ANYTHING about aziraphale and crowley's relationship or (potentially) maggie and nina's

but there is also a Zeppelin (it looks more like a blimp but whatever) and later on they go into a theater which looks very similar to the album cover for Stairway to Heaven

so I'm not gonna rule it out

there's a poster that says "THE FABULOUS LADIES OF CAMELOT" which is probably the group name of the show girls we saw in the trailer it says they are performing at the Windmill Theatre in London which is real and very famous for its Windmill girls who performed as nude living statues

i think this box is part of that saw a person in half trick and i can't wait to see Aziraphale attempt this trick and miserably fail like he always does, lot of laughs for sure

here's aziraphale on stage in his magician's outfit from the trailer but crowley is there as well so maybe he's his assistant? if so thats super funny and explains why crowley is not a fan of his magic act later on

very cute moment of crowley and aziraphale twirling around each other in the stars (this could be a nod to that moment that people spoiled for the first two episodes will know what im talking about )

this bridge they're walking on could potentially be the Humber Bridge near Kingston upon Hull, East Riding of Yorkshire, England (?)

or just a random ass bridge lol i do love to theorize tho

this airplane has "THY KINGDOM AIRWAYS" on its side very funny gag

these cotton candy hearts appear to be raining from the sky which im not sure what that implies but this season is focusing more on romance so it fits (also crowley and azira sitting together on the roof cute <3)

here we have maggie's record shop and nina's cafe right next to each other with record banners on the street, maybe a promotional party for the store? there's also a jukebox with records stacked in front of it. there's a promotional image of aziraphale holding everyday on vinyl (that i can't find sorry) so maybe he's gonna use this jukebox to play it?

i believe this is Gabriel(?) holding the package and going down an elevator from Heaven so he wasn't lying about needing to deliver something to Aziraphale something must've happened to him on his way over

one of the group is holding a sign for the "The 2nd Coming" as in the second coming of Jesus Christ?

A bar called The Dirty Donkey, new location for aziraphale and crowley to dine at? there's a smaller sign there but it's impossible to read HOWEVER

it looks like a holy figure standing in front of the opening of a cave, maybe an angel? considering the clothing maybe Jesus Christ?

I'm at my limit for photos so I will continue this in my next post!

(edit: here's the link for pt 2)

[oonajaeadira]

im trying to not with that outfit but I can't

a cardigan, a high hip cut cardigan at that, is an accent piece, not the whole top, am I appreciating the low cut of the undershirt? yes, but I cannot with the rest of it.

THAT CARDIGAN IS TOO SMALL AND IT IS SUFFERING THE MAN IS TOO BROAD

the pants are... fine?... I certainly think he looks better with more form fitting pant legs, his silhouette is very boxy. not like, Max in WW84 boxy but it feels close to me.

so i think, with the right top the pants would be salvageable, the cardigan... undo the bottom two buttons, a nice dark undershirt, and form fitting pants, I'd still have questions, but they'd prob be fewer

I'm gonna apologize for the old lady I will some day become because if I'm sitting on my porch and someone walks by wearing that? I can just hear my cranky old self. "This world's goin' to shit."

WARNING: Do not read more. Adira's gonna go flip some tables.

Transcript: Begin rant.

Listen. I woke up to that monstrosity and had to go to an online meeting and engage for two hours on very little sleep. I went and took a nap and I'm still fkn cranky about it.

No. You know what? I'm REALLY fkn cranky about it. Like, it feels like a personal attack.

I also need to apologize to everyone who has felt this way over Fabio's choices lately. I feel your pain. But I actually love his style and that he keeps our boy comfy and whimsical and up to date (because, let's face it, left to his own devices, Pedro is a teenage boy). I mean, I didn't exactly love the pants for the wine event, but let's not get into that. I got over those. Because you know what? Pedro looks good in everything.

Or so I thought until this morning.

When I woke up from my nap I actually groaned. Not because my back fkn sucks but because I knew this outfit was still out there. That it had happened. That someone whose job it is to dress people found the most beautiful man on earth and did that to him.

How do you pick four colors and not have any of them compliment each other???? And then pick four BLOCK colors, no patterns, but all different fabric textures? And then choose a sweater that's made from something so shiny and synthetic that I can hear it creaking every time it stretches over his shoulders? Like, that's the kind of shit they can't sell at Kohls so they take it off the racks and put it in clothing subscription boxes and try to convince people that "it's not ugly, it's just new and hip and so fashion forward you're not used to it yet." If it caught fire it wouldn't even burn, just melt into a bubbling pool and then cool into a puddle of silly putty.

No.

*screams into a smushmallow*

You know, I'm gonna scoot past the fit of the pants and their zoot-suit pleats and their droopy cuffs and forgive them just so I can concentrate on that sweater. Don't put him in that color!!!! Boy has beautiful undertones and can wear just about anything and you picked the one fkn color that makes him look like an abomination!!!

*throws an arm over my eyes like a drama queen except really not ironically*

There are so many crimes happening here and on a not so cranky day I'd mostly just feel protective that she made him look terrible oh mah gahhhhh

But it's a cranky day. And someone that works in the fashion industry thinks it's okay to pair camel shit plastic with Heinz 57 Stray Cats. If that's what's coming of the runways these days give me two spoons and I'll remove my own damn eyeballs my own damn self--

*takes a deep sigh. tries to forget the pain. lies in an agonized heap*

Did you know edibles are legal in Minnesota now? Yeah. The dems put it on a bill with a bunch of other great stuff and the republicans in the state house didn't read it and signed it into law. It was really great. That was a good day. Legalized gummies.

I'm gonna go get some. BRB.