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star-girl69 · 9 months

Text

So It Goes…

Clarisse La Rue x Fem!AphroditeCabin!Reader

—-

sypnosis: the one day chiron decides to switch up the capture the flag teams, and everyone knows you’re clarisse’s weakness, In A Good Way sequel!!

i changed my theme it’s me tho promise

a/n: protective clarisse the love of my life i love you i do i think we should get married actually anyways this one is sooooooo i got to explore a more casual side of clar’s and reader’s relationship in this (for like a min) i hope you all enjoy!!

So It Goes… - Taylor Swift

warnings: soft clarisse my love, protective clarisse we KNOW how i feel abt her…., also slightly possessive clarisse i think i love you too, again clarisse gets a bit too into capture the flag, clarisse picks reader up which i KNOW is not inclusive (im literally plus-sized idk what the hell am i doing) but it was so good i couldn’t resist, she has like super strength probs so i’ll just believe (she literally could not pick me up i need to stop being delusional), swearing, violence, kissing, a bit suggestive but nothing crazy, tell me if i missed anything!!

—-

Clarisse’s bed is one of your favorite places. You’ve spent so many nights here, wrapped up in her arms, feeling like no one could touch you. And you’ve spent secret days with her hands on your waist, yours in her hair, lips pressed together so tight it’s like you were each other’s oxygen.

You love Clarisse’s bed. And you know Clarisse loves her bed too, seeing as it’s a huge source of pride for her- it’s the best bunk in the cabin, and she gets a major kick over the fact that you sleep here just as much as you sleep in your own cabin.

You’re sitting down, watching Clarisse pace back and forth, her spear in her hand.

“Clarisse,” you say. She brought you here just fo freak out. Now she won’t sit down and let you help her, and she wont just freaking listen. “Clarisse, baby, what’s wrong? Can you at least put your spear down so you don’t accidentally kill somebody? If you kill me with that I’m gonna come back and kill you.”

She stops for a moment and leans her spear up against the wall. You let out a sigh.

“Now just sit down-”

She resumes her pacing.

As much as you love just being in Clarisse’s presence, as much as you know you’re her rock, the only thing that keeps her tethered in the storm she constantly fights through, you need her to let you help her.

“Clarisse!” you stand up, placing your hands on her shoulders. “You’re freaking me out, okay? What happened? I-I’m sure we can fix it, I mean…” you rub your hands up and down your arms, which you know she likes, her muscles are one of her biggest sources of pride.

She sits down, letting you stand in between her legs, her hands moving to hold your hips.

“Sorry,” she mumbles. She’s not very good at handling her emotions, but she’s getting better, and at least she’s able to recognize and apologize when her emotions are hurting other people. Well, you, at least. She breathes out. “Chiron decided to switch the teams.”

And now she had to work with the Athena cabin? The Gods know after the Ares and Athena cabins have captained opposing teams for years, Chiron pretends there’s not, but everyone knows there’s a deep rivalry. More than just friendly competition.

“The Demeter cabin will be on the red team.”

“Okay,” you say, squeezing her shoulders. You aren’t really close with anyone from the Demeter cabin, it doesn’t really bother you much.

“And… the Aphrodite cabin will be on the blue team.”

“Oh.”

You’ve never not been on Clarisse’s team for capture the flag. Not only does the entire red team’s tactic rest on you using your charmspeak to protect the flag, but what the hell are you supposed to do fighting against Clarisse?

She wraps her arms around your waist, flopping back onto her bed and bringing you down on top of her.

“I know it’s all Annabeth and Luke behind this. I’m sure that little smartass has made up some sick plan to make me go insane.”

You scoff, planting your hands behind her head on the bed. “You’re the one who can actually fight. I’m, like, so bad it’s not even funny, Clar.”

“You beat me all the time,” she frowns.

And it’s true, you spar with her at least 3 or 4 times a week, and you win most of the those times. But Clarisse moves slower, she doesn’t hit as hard, she anticipates your next move and doesn’t block it so you can land a hit.

“We both know you let me win.”

“I like seeing you smile,” she says, her own matching smile on her face.

“Okay, you big romantic.” You let your hands slip, laying your head against her chest and your arms flat around her head. “It’s not that big of a deal, Clar. I’m sure it’ll be fine, then Chiron’ll probably switch them back.”

“Annabeth convinced him to do it. She has some sort of plan, Y/N, she does.”

“You’ve mentioned,” you hum. “Stop stressing. Nothing we can do about it.”

“Fine,” she hisses.

She wraps her arms around your waist and throws you to the side so you yelp, now she’s climbing on top of you, laying her head on your chest.

“It’s going to be the worst game of capture the flag in history, you know. I hope you’re happy, I don’t even know what I’m gonna do without you. I mean, I guess I could move that group in the west side to just south of the flag, so that’ll be a bit more for them to get through. Oh, I’ll stick that one good archer on the ground- no, no that wouldn’t work, I need him in the trees. But I’ll move his position-”

—-

You walk to the woods together. When it’s time to split up, Clarisse grabs you by your armor and points her finger into your chest.

“Clar, what the hell are you doing-”

“Don’t do anything I would do.”

“Okay, Clarisse,” you smile, blinking once to avoid rolling your eyes at her ridiculousness.

She smirks, her arm squeezing your waist. She pecks you on the lips before pulling away completely.

“Done making out?” Jackie asks, her and Tyla suddenly appearing next to you.

“It was one kiss, Jacks. Are you sure we have the same Mom?”

“No, honestly.”

You fall into step with the two of them, laughing as you make your way through the woods and to the edge of the river.

Chiron makes his usual speech, the conch sounds, and everyone starts moving around.

Annabeth finds the three of you soon after. Tyla and Jackie fall away, following your other siblings. Annabeth always has this calculating look on her face, like she knows something you don’t, a true child of Athena. You have to admit, she really is one of the smartest people you know.

“Annabeth,” you smile. “I guess you want me by the flag?”

“No, I debated that, but I decided against it.”

She smirks and looks at you before spinning around, pointing to Luke and his team members who are always in charge of getting the flag.

“You’ll be with Luke.”

You frown. “You do realize I have absolutely no skill in battle, right, Annabeth?”

“Yeah, but skill doesn’t matter when you have power. Power over someone.”

“Oh, okay. Who do you want me to charmspeak-”

“Charmspeak whoever you come across, but that’s not what I’m talking about. You have power over Clarisse. I know she’s defending the flag today, right?”

She looks at you sharply.

You smile. “Oh, I really don’t know. But if you say so, sure.”

She starts walking, you follow her.

“Clarisse doesn’t talk strategy to you? I mean, I talk Luke’s ear off.”

“Oh, no, she does, I just don’t really retain any of it.”

She huffs a small sound of laughter.

“I know she’ll be there,” she affirms.

“If you say so!” you say, all sing song, Luke smiling as he meets your eyes.

“Y/N! How’s it feel to finally be on the winning team?”

“I love being on the red team, thanks for asking.”

“Ha. You’re so funny, are you sure you’re not a child of Apollo?”

“Too beautiful,” you glide your hands down your face. “I get it from my godly mother.”

“Luke, do you know what you’re doing?” Annabeth asks.

“Yes ma’am.”

She smiles and walks away, talking to more people while you can faintly hear Clarisse shouting at people. With the change in tactic, you know she’s been slightly stressed, but she won’t allow herself to feel anything other than confidence, outwardly.

She still walks tall. She still grips her spear in her hand a little to tight. She’s a bit too greedy with the things that are hers, she grabs on a bit too tight, but you know it’s just because she’s scared. You like it.

If this were a regular game, you would probably be walking next to Clarisse right now, or kissing her goodbye while you follow Matty and everyone else to go protect the flag.

When you and Clarisse first started dating, she was slow to be so affectionate, but the more of her walls you started breaking down the more you found a complicated teenage girl who felt unloved, and had a lot of love to give too.

The more confident she became in your private relationship, the more she wanted everyone to know. It was her fatal flaw, pride, hubris. She wanted everyone to know she was yours and your were hers. She wanted everyone to be jealous.

“I’m so glad we don’t have to wear those horrible earplugs today. They always make me worried. Someone could be shouting a few feet away and none of us would hear.”

“Stop gloating, Luke.”

“I’m just expressing my gratitude, Y/N, is that not allowed?”

“I don’t want to talk to you anymore.”

“Oh, oh, I know. You’re sad, aren’t you?”

“Sad?” you snort.

“Yeah, sad. Sad you aren’t with Clarisse. You’re devastated, destroyed, wrecked.”

You put your hand on your sword. “Who are you… and what have you done with Luke Castellan? Luke doesn’t know that many words…”

He hits your shoulder. “Shut up, Y/N.”

—-

You’re walking through the woods.

Not sneaking around in stealth, not running, but walking.

You’ve come across a few of your former team members, but one of the blue team just tackles them and you tell them to turn around and count to 5,000.

For some reason, it’s worse than sitting by the rock, waiting for someone to make a play for the flag. At least at the rock you’re surrounded by all these people you know. You and Matty are usually talking, Marjorie sometimes joins, and you all have fun bullying Corey for that one time he didn’t see the blue team coming.

Luke’s voice drops to a whisper.

“Here’s your job. You can either, one, go make out with Clarisse in a corner, which shouldn’t be too hard-”

“Luke,” you hit his shoulder. He hisses.

“I’m joking, joking. Just keep her distracted, fight her, maybe pull your shirt down a bit? Oh, or I can just cut it so it’s a bit more revealing-”

“Luke, shut up or else I will make you.”

“It’s not a bad idea-”

“Luke!”

“Sh, sh,” he whispers. “Don’t be so loud, we’re almost to the flag. We’re going for stealth, okay?”

“Oh, really, I didn’t notice,” you deadpan. He looks around.

“Blue team, stealth mode, alright?”

Everyone nods. You roll your eyes. You miss the red team.

—-

After Luke gives you the ok, meaning the blue team has successfully surrounded the red team and the clearing, you take a step forward.

Annabeth was right. Clarisse is there.

It’s fitting. If you can’t be there, she would.

You look up at Corey, but he hasn’t noticed any of you yet. You frown, thinking about how he’s probably going to get beat up.

“Clarisse!” you shout. You watch everyone jump into defensive positions. She can’t see you yet, but she stares in the direction of your voice, her eyes squinting, smiling softly.

“Luke?” she shouts. “That you?”

You frown.

“What the hell?” you say, stepping forward. “You don’t recognize my voice? I thought that was really smart. Like, a cool way to reveal myself, I don’t know.”

You come into the clearing, sword by your side.

Clarisse’s smile drops.

“I-I- no, baby, I just wasn’t expecting Annabeth to send you here-”

“Do I really sound like Luke?”

“No,” she says, immediately. “You sound like an angel.

Matty laughs. Clarisse stabs his foot with the end of her spear. She smiles at you.

“Is Luke here though?” Marjorie asks, subtly trying to look through the trees.

“I don’t know.”

“Well, you do,” Matty snorts.

“You’re going to tell me though right, baby?” Clar smiles, stepping closer until she’s right in front of you.

“Obviously not, you didn’t recognize me. I’m, like, really hurt by that Clarisse-”

“Gods, Clarisse,” Matty shouts at the sky, laughing. You didn’t recognize her, and now we’re all fucked!”

“Shut the fuck up, Matty,” she says over her shoulder. She looks at you, smiling again, her hand reaching out to touch your face. “I’ll let you do that thing you’ve always wanted to do.”

You smile, your voice dropping to a whisper. “You’ll let me give you a makeover? Really?”

“Yes.” Her teeth grit, but she keeps smiling, her thumb rubbing your cheek.

“Hm, I don’t know,” you mutter, your eyes fixing on her spear when you suddenly reach forward, grabbing it from her hands and turning to run away.

The blue team emerges from the woods with war cries, swords start clashing, and it all happens so fast.

The plan was for you to grab her spear, make her chase you around the woods, and hopefully the blue team would be able to overpower the red team without her.

Instead, Clarisse kicks out her foot, tripping you. Then, she catches you and the spear in what you swear has to be a milisecond.

“Clarisse!” you shout, genuinely offended. She beat you so easily. It wasn’t even a fight. You didn’t even get the chance to run.

“Sorry, baby, it’s capture the flag!”

You about to start kicking like a wild animal when she suddenly lets you go. Luke is there, fighting her while you pick your sword up from the ground that fell in the commotion.

One of your team members dropped their helmet and you pick that up too.

You’re not that bad of a fighter, Clarisse just knows everything about you, you tell yourself. But your pride is slightly wounded and you want to prove to her, yourself, and everyone that you’re not just a weak Aphrodite kid or some poor thing that hangs off Clar’s arm.

You can hold your own.

You stick the helmet on and step into the fight. Someone groans and a sword comes wishing through the air, but you block it.

They swing again.

You block it.

You picked up things from Clarisse, and, besides, you weren’t just sparring for fun. She actually teaches you, better than the actual sword practice teacher if your biased opinion is to be trusted.

But you probably just feel that way because she rewards you with kisses.

It seems like you’re actually winning for a second, about to disarm him, when he seems to get fed up with fighting you and suddenly arcs hard over your head, making you lose your footing and letting him kick you.

You land on your back, groaning and trying to catch your breath.

“That was such a bitchy move,” you mumble. He leans over you, about to kick the sword out of your hand-

“I’m gonna fucking kill you, Samuel.”

She holds her spear right under his throat, and he finally seems to look at your face instead of just your blue helmet.

“Shit. Sorry. Sorry, Clarisse, I’m sorry.”

She looks like she’s about to kill him but she just pushes him away.

“I was winning,” you groan. “But then he kicked me.”

She kicks him as he walks away.

You expect her to tug you up and start lecturing you but instead she leans down and throws you over her shoulder.

“Wha- Clarisse!”

“That’s enough for you today,” she says, patting the back of your thigh.

“Clarisse, I swear to Hades, let me down!”

“One second,” she mumbles.

When she places you down on the ground again, you’re leaning against a tree. She grabs your hand, frowning at something.

It’s the smallest cut, barely there, but Clarisse of course acts like it’s the end of the world.

“Does it hurt?”

Your eyes fix on Luke behind her, stalking slowly towards her turned back.

“No, Clar, it’s fine. Now I-”

“I think you should go the nurse.”

Your mouth drops open. “Clarisse, it’s a paper cut!”

“And if it gets infected? Go away, Luke, I can hear you.”

He locks eyes with you but ultimately turns around with a very scared and annoyed look on his face.

“Now do you see why I was all messed up? I knew this was going to happen. You were gonna get hurt, and it was going to be my fault.”

You roll your eyes. “It’s not your fault, Clarisse-”

“But isn’t it? You would have been at the flag if Annabeth hadn’t known how much you mean to me. Instead, you were here. Instead, you were rushing off to go fight someone-”

“I’m not a damsel in distress, Clar!”

She presses her lips together.

“I can fight too. Not as good as you, but I can. I-I don’t want to be weak, I don’t want to rely on you for everything, it’s- it’s embarrassing.”

You didn’t even know you were feeling this way until you felt it. But it’s always been there, you guess. You always watch Clarisse spar and know she could never do anything like that with you. And you thought you were fine with it, and you are fine with having things that you like and things that she likes- but you don’t want to be so useless anymore.

She’s silent for a second.

“I- I get that. I do. But I just don’t know how to tell you I… I love you without showing it. I’m not good at saying it, you know that.”

“Clarisse,” you frown.

She puts her hands on your face.

“You are… the most precious thing in the world to me, Y/N. I really hope you know that.”

You wrap your arms around her neck, you can feel her heart thump from the fight.

“I know that, Clarisse. Of course I know that. You show me every day, I just- I just want to feel like my own person.”

She grips you tighter. “If it’ll make you happy, I’ll teach you to fight. But you have to do it how I say, and you can’t go off and do this-”

You pull back so you can make sure this is real.

“Really?” you smile.

“You have to listen to me, Y/N, and do it slowly, okay-”

“Yes, yes, yes, okay, yes,” you breathe, planting your hands on your face before kissing her. It’s slow, it’s sweet, it’s exactly what you think of when you think of her. You think of the side that’s yours, the side that only you can see.

You break it, leaning down to pick up her spear.

The red team is losing the fight behind you.

“Ok, go win capture the flag. And I’ll stay here. My hand does kinda hurt,” you mumble.

She smiles and kisses your cheek. “Not just a paper cut, huh?”

“Can I still give you a makeover?” you ask as she turns away.

“Maybe!”

—-

y/n: what why did you not recognize me ☹️☹️

clarisse, genuinely terrified: i have no idea what the hell you are talking about please please please don’t take away kissing privileges please please please

—-

taglist:

@lvrue @t-wylia @laughingcheese037 @kroumi @urdeadpoet @colezb @rey26 @harmzilla @elliewilliamsbae @amberfreemansburntface @kyuupidwrites @neverwaakeme-up @shark1008

(pls ignore it’s for the acc aesthetics thank you!!)

#clarisse la rue #clarisse la rue x reader #clarisse la rue x y/n #clarisse la rue x you #pjo tv show #pjo x reader

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leilanihours · 2 months

Note

paige x reader inspired by taylor swifts you are in love 😋😋😋

# YOU ARE IN LOVE

pairing: paige bueckers x photographer!reader

word count: 2177

warnings: none !

summary: the picture-perfect story of your love.

⭑ from lani: i kinda love this 🤭 i hope ygs do too 🤍

masterlist !

THE FIRST ENCOUNTER you had with paige was something out of a romantic comedy. like all the best love stories, it all started with paige practically running you over.

———

you watched intently as marquette player, liza karlen, was quickly bringing the ball up the court. uconn scrambled to get on defense but it looked like the golden eagle was about to get a wide-open layup for the lead.

it all happened so quickly - one second you were snapping pictures of the scene in front of you, the next you were tumbling to the ground.

for about half a second, you were laying on the wooden floor behind the baseline. but almost as soon as you registered the fall, you were being pulled to your feet.

“oh my god, i’m so sorry,” a voice apologizes, “are you good? are you hurt?”

you straighten yourself up before lifting your head to glance at the person talking to you, and of course, it was none other than paige bueckers. as you gazed into her light blue eyes, you saw hints of concern and guilt in them.

“hello? are you okay?” she repeats, waving a hand in front of your wonderstruck face.

realizing you were staring, you stutter, “yes- sorry, i’m good. are you good?”

you look around, realizing that one of the teams had called a timeout after presumably a massive defensive block on paige's part.

“i just body slammed you and you’re asking me if i’m good?” paige laughs.

“hey we can’t have you getting injured, you got a chip to win for us,” you joke, laughing with her.

“right,” she smirks, “well, i’m glad you’re okay. we need our prettiest photographer getting the best flicks.”

you don’t miss the way she winks at you before jogging over to her teammates in their huddle. you let out an airy giggle as you watch the blonde get lectured by her coach, her hand nervously rubbing the back of her neck.

it was the shortest of interactions, but it had you buzzing with adrenaline, excitement. you replay the exchange, your mind focusing on the way she said “we,” as in her and her teammates.

but was that really what she meant? you had never talked to any of the women on the team, there was never the right time or place.

as you begin to overthink and let your mind wander, you are alerted back to the present when the buzzer signals the end of the timeout. you could worry about paige and her flirty comment later, but right now you had a job to do - get “the best flicks.”

“ no proof, not much, but you saw enough “

———

so that was the first time you had ever talked to paige. it was nothing short of awkward and confusing, but it repeatedly played in your mind like a broken record.

the next time you conversed with the blonde was more…more. you didn’t exactly know what to call it, but let’s just say it left you with a bit of a crush on the basketball player.

———

you were about to start packing up your camera gear as you wore a huge smile on your face. uconn was going to the final four. they had just survived southern california - it was an insanely entertaining game.

with juju watkins and paige bueckers matching each other’s energy and skill, the arena was buzzing with anticipation the whole night.

you were a uconn senior and you couldn’t have more love for your school. it was where you were getting your bachelor’s in digital communication and media, where you truly fell in love with photography, specifically sports photography.

just as you were about to put your camera in your bag, a voice caught your attention.

“hey!” you look up to see paige bueckers, once again, making her way over to you.

“uh, hi?” you greet with furrowed eyebrows, not entirely sure why the girl was trying to talk to you.

“you were the one i bumped into, right? in that game against marquette?” paige asks.

huh, you think, she actually remembers.

“yeah that was me,” you answer.

“thought so,” she smiles before reaching a hand out to dap you up, “i don’t think i got your name, though.”

“it’s y/n,” you grin, swiping your hand against hers.

“so, y/n, did you get any good flicks tonight? specifically of me?” paige smirks as she points to your camera.

“i mean, i got some sick ones of nika, not sure about you, though,” you tease with a shrug.

“you got jokes tonight, cute,” the blonde rolls her eyes playfully.

“c’mere, i’ll show you,” you laugh in surrender.

as you turn your camera back on and begin clicking through some of the pictures from the game, paige sneaks one of her large hands onto your waist as she stands tall beside you.

you feel her arm draped over your lower back with her hand loosely grasping your sweater as her eyes are focused on the small screen of your camera.

you look up at her, only now realizing how close you were to each other. your shoulder brushes against hers as she feels you staring, tilting her head to look down at you.

your breath hitches when her eyes meet yours, a sly grin plastered on her face as she scans over your face. you watch as her gaze lingers on your lips, then on the chain hanging from your neck.

it was like there was some sort of magnetic pull between you two, something that was undeniable, unbreakable.

maybe it was the way you would occasionally lock eyes with paige through your camera, the growing connection flowing from the court, through your lens, and into your soul.

maybe it was the way every single picture you took of paige somehow managed to be your best, how you found her to be your own good luck charm in such a short span of time.

or maybe it was the way paige subconsciously looked for you before every game, searching for that familiar face that she had grown to find comfort in during the chaotic haze of a game.

whatever it was, it remained a common thought in each of your minds.

each wordless interaction, each unspoken acknowledgement, each silent appreciation - it was like you two needed each other in ways you couldn’t say with words.

“ no proof, one touch, but you felt enough “

———

when you were with paige, it felt weird. not in a bad way, but in an interesting way. time never seemed to function properly when you were in the presence of the blonde.

you could be chatting with her before a game, wishing her luck, and it would feel like you knew her your entire life.

she could be sitting on your bed as you edit your pictures, rambling about the randomest aspects of her day, and it would feel like she had done this every time she felt lonely or lost.

or in a more literal sense, she could treat you to a late-night frozen yogurt run for all of twenty minutes, but it felt like decades the way you two talked about everything under the sun.

you could go on a two-hour long sunrise walk with her before she had to go to practice, but it would only feel like five seconds considering she had to leave you.

in each of these instances, you and paige had managed to build a bond of insurmountable gravity. you deemed each other to be best friends, but it was a disgrace to the fate of the universe that you were nothing more.

paige felt it in her chest that the status of your relationship wasn’t what it was made to be. your own friends did, as well, but paige would be the one to make you fully realize it.

———

as you hopped into paige’s car, you sat comfortably in the passenger’s seat, but there was an unfamiliar vibe in the atmosphere. you turned your head to the blonde behind the steering wheel, finding her staring blankly out the window.

“you okay there, p?” you laugh nervously.

“uh, yeah, i’m okay,” she says quietly.

as nice as paige was, she was never the type to stay quiet around people she cared about. not unless something was bothering her.

“you know you can talk to me, paige. it’s me.”

turning to face you, her face softens when she observes the genuine concern on your face. she tilts her head slightly, dragging her eyes over your delicate features as if she wanted to memorize the harmony of them by heart.

“paige?”

“yeah, um…” she starts, “i actually do wanna talk to you.”

“i’m listening,” you reassure, placing a hand over hers resting on her leg.

“you’re my best friend, y/n. and i’d like to think i’m yours…”

“mhm..” you nod along, unsure where this was going.

“but i don’t wanna be. your best friend, i mean…”

you’re taken aback by this, “what? you...don’t wanna be friends anymore?”

“no, i don’t, but-“

“that’s why you called me here? to end our friendship?” you accuse, slowly becoming angry with confusion.

paige laughs at how quick you were to defend your bond, brushing a loose hair out of your face. you look at her with furrowed eyebrows, still completely lost as to what her point was and why she was laughing.

“if you just let me finish what i’m tryna say…” she says, waiting for your confirmation to continue. you nod, the blonde mirroring your nod before speaking, “i don’t wanna be your best friend…’cus i wanna be your girlfriend. if you’ll let me?”

your eyes widen slightly in shock, not expecting those words to come out of her mouth. your heart rate picks up as you register what she’s actually saying. you can’t help but stare at paige with your lips parted as you think of how to respond.

“y/n? can you say something? please?” she asks softly, begging almost, as she tries to decipher your reaction.

after a beat of silence (a common theme in your relationship), you finally answer, “i’d really like that, paige.”

she lets out a breath of relief she didn’t even know she was holding in. her shoulders relax as the tensity in them melts away at your words.

“yeah?” she smiles.

“yeah,” you nod, “but only if i get to be your girlfriend.”

“i think imma take that deal,” she laughs before swiftly placing her lips on yours.

you found yourself once again appreciating the tranquil environment, the calm embrace. it reflected how your blossoming relationship with paige didn’t need to be put into words.

mostly because you understood each other on such an emotional and spiritual level, but also because you couldn’t do it justice if you tried.

so you told your story with pictures, your own photographs. images that would last a lifetime in the eyes of your love.

“ one step, not much, but it said enough “

———

all of which brings you to now. it’s been exactly one year since paige had officially asked to be your girlfriend. she surprised you with a date at a drive-in movie, one that was playing some romantic silent film from the early 1900s.

as you sat in the bed of your older brother’s pickup truck (the one that paige had to secretly kidnap for the night), you admired the serenity of the scene surrounding you.

fellow viewers talking in hushed voices, other lovers tangled up in comforting embraces, faint humming from the film rolling as it projected onto the large white sheet, the feeling of your girlfriend’s heart beating against you as you laid on her chest.

there was nothing that could make this moment better.

“i love you, y/n,” you hear paige whisper into your hair.

okay, maybe there was something that could make it even better.

you sit up from your spot nestled into the blonde, facing her and looking into those blue eyes you had always treasured. there was nothing but pure adoration and sincerity behind them.

your heart swells like music at the end of the third act in a romantic comedy. you’re grinning widely at the girl sitting in front of you as your hands come up to brace either side of her face.

your lips meet hers in a deep kiss, one that says everything that needs to be said and more. but, of course, it doesn’t hurt to say it out loud officially.

“i love you too, paige,” you smile against her lips, “so much.”

it felt so perfect, everything about it was perfect.

the way her lips locked with yours as if they were destined to fit there. the way it wasn’t some big, loud gesture. the way it was the middle of the night when the world was at its quietest, the way the lights of the outdoor theater and along the sidewalks were dimmed to glow just right.

the way it was so unapologetically you and paige.

“ you are in love, true love “

— leilani signing off ! 📁

426 notes · View notes

cuverale · 1 year

Text

my girl - t.c (part 2)

warning: google translate used french and spanish, sorry if it’s wrong!

part one

yourusername

liked by tchalamet, zayn, zendaya and 10,859,276 others

yourusername felt like a dream! thanks again for being there for me y’all!

view comments

zayn 🖤

yourusername 🖤

kissmeyn ok but when are you guys gonna release the song??? we’re still waiting 👀

hero_ft you were amazing

yourusername thank you!!

ynmybaby GUYS I WAS THERE AND SHE DID AMAZING!! IT WAS LITERALLY A DREAM COME TRUE SHE WAS SO SWEET!! SHE STAYED A LITTLE LONGER AFTER IT WAS OVER SO SHE CAN MEET HER FANS!!! 🥹🥹💖

ynsbabygirl she’s such an angel 🥺♥️

timmytimmy did Timothèe showed up???? 👀

ynmybaby tbh I was so focused on Y/n I didn’t even look around me from the moment she was on stage lol

timmytimmy i got you girl 😮‍💨

chalamtfan guys I don’t think he was there. I mean someone would see him but there’s no pictures of him so idk 🤷🏼‍♀️

ynfan2 breathtaking ❤️‍🔥

username49 Timmy liked again!

randomuser i wish timmy was there tho

yourusername ok so usually I don’t like talk about this stuff, but as you can see, it’s my account that you’re commenting on and i was having a good time with you guys but everytime i see comment like this i feel like that’s all I’m worthy of and it makes me uncomfortable. So please be more respectful about this stuff. Take care <3

randomuser you’re right i’m sorry. I won’t bring it up again

more comments

enews

5,594,279 likes

enews Timothèe Chalamet showed up at Coachella watching his ex girlfriend Y/n L/n’s performance. We are wondering what will “sources” say about this.

view comments

timmytimmy I KNEW IT!!

chalamalabingbong OFC HE WAS THERE FOR HIS GIRL

ynfan2 he was so sweet to fan but he was hiding and he never took his eyes off of Y/n 🥺

username49384 well it explains everything right???

callmebyyourpeach i wonder if she knows he was there

ynmybaby E! News is on team Y/n&Timothèe everyone!!!!!

tchalafann i mean they’re not wrong 👀

timmychalamt Guys! I was there and I saw him. He watched her perform and sometimes he sang along with her. He took pictures of her everytime she got close to his side. And I’m not too sure about that but when she started singing “holding on” there was tears in his eyes.

ynmybaby it was their song 🥺

timotea0 this made me cry 🤧

sweettimmy wait really????? 😭

timtim24 I’m actually crying I feel so sad for him. He loses the girl he loves, everyone is making fun of him for something that isn’t even true and now deuxmoi claims that he was dating Taylor and he cheated on her with Kylie.

sweetteaa what?💀

timotheefan15 istg that girl is crazy . Leave him alone!!

more comments

tchalametdaily

1,848,276 likes

tchalametdaily after all this, they’re still claiming that him and Kylie are officially dating?? Now that’s what I call crazy.

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yourfan8 I’m done 💀

timmyfan04 HE LITERALLY SAID HE WASNT DATING THAT GIRL OH GOD

randomuser93 i love & support them!

timmytim wtf

ynynyn9 they’re not even dating 🤡

timmytimmy leave him alone for god’s sake!

randomuser look, idk the details of this whole situation but didn’t he literally showed up at his ex’s performance? There is a video of him looking at her with tears in his eyes and they’re still talking about that plastic bitch? I wonder how much kris payed them.

ynmybaby Y/n claims that they ended their relationship on good terms but i think there is something else going on. She was asked about timmy this morning and she looked so uncomfortable. I really wonder what’s going on but I don’t want my girl to feel uncomfortable.

username953 what if he really cheated on her?

randomuser no way he would do that to her but i think the rumors are part of the reason they broke up.

randomuser97 “devil works hard, kris works harder.”

more comments

ynlndaily

3,593,275 likes

ynlndaily Timothée at Y/n’s performance last year vs now :/

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ynsbabygirl does it ever drive you crazy…

ynmybaby just how fast the night changes…

timmytimmy I still remember when he hyped his girl every chance he got and after she finished her song he said “that’s my girl” and the fans went crazy :((

sweettimmy BRING THEM BACK 😭

kissmeyn God pls let Timmy and Y/n get back together

username491 I don’t think they’ll get back together

chalametfann he was so excited for his girl (he was literally jumping the moment she got to the stage😭) and after the performance him and Y/n met with fans and had so much fun together I MISS THAT SO MUCH

more comments

enews

3,594,279 likes

enews Timothée Chalamet and Y/n L/n spotted together, seemingly arguing about something.

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kissmeyn wait wait

ynmylove I saw the other pics, they were not arguing!

timotheefan8 pls get back together pls plsss

ynmybaby no arguing my babies just hug each other and forget everything

ynsbabygirl I saw the other pictures. She was laughing in one pic. And his hands was on her waist on another 👀

timmytimmy omg is it really happening???

timotheefan15 yesyesyes

more comments

timmyandynupdates

3,593,274 likes

timmyandynupdates GUYS ITS HAPPENING!!

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ynmybaby damn, they were arguing last week now here we are. I’m so happy tho!!

ynsbabygirl they can’t resist each other anymore

timmytimmy OMGOMGOMG

tchalafann I was waiting for this one!!!

timotheefan15 they look happy 🥺

randomuser isn’t that kylie’s new boy toy?

timotea0 no, that’s Y/n L/n’s boyfriend Timothèe Chalamet.

more comments

yourusername

liked by tchalamet, austinbutler, pauline.chalamet and 13,894,275 others

yourusername Tu me manques depuis le moment où tu m'as quitté, he said.

the comments are limited for this post

tchalamet Empecé a extrañarte tan pronto como nos despedimos, she said.

*liked by yourusername

ynsbabygirl SOMEONE TRANSLATE THIS PLS

ynmybaby OK OK!! The caption is “I’ve been missing you since the moment you left me” in French and Timmy’s comment says “I started to miss you as soon as we said goodbye.” in Spanish.

timmytimmy I love when they talk to each other with their first language 🥺

chalametfann SO THEY’RE BACK TOGETHER?? 😭

kissmeyn YESS!! They’ve been spotted kissing yesterday!!! 🥹🥹🥹

timmytim THANK GOD!

tchalamet’s story

@iloveneilperry @miawastakens

#timothée chamalet #timothee chalamet #x reader #instagram au #timothee chalamet x reader #celebrity reader #timothee x reader #timothée chalamet x reader #timothee chamalet #timothee x y/n #smau #timothee chalamet social media au #timothee imagine #timothee x you #timothee chalamet imagine #timothée chalamet x y/n #timothée x reader

1K notes · View notes

2baabbies · 8 months

Text

🖤 Everybody Wonders (hyunchanlix x reader, skz x reader; part 2)

Crossposted under 2Babbies on Ao3 <3 (also split into 3 parts to make it easier to read)

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 (WIP)

Pairings: established relationship bangchan x reader, established hyunlix, exploring/developing hyunchanlix x reader (they’re official now y’all), established background minsung, unmentioned various skz pairings and crushes happening but not important to this fic

Words: 12700

Summary: Everybody wonders what it would be like to love you; except for your boyfriend Chan, and his group members who were lucky enough to have caught your eye (inspired by Gold Rush by Taylor Swift; quote at the beginning is also from this song).

Fluff + Smut + Humour + Slight Angst

afab+fem!reader

CWs: nsfw (obvi!!), one lame religious pun courtesy of minho, swearing and insults as a form of flirting, felix says cunt, insecure hyunjin (a little ittle bit of angst but there’s comfort), slight feminization (malewife, boygirlfriend), drinking alcohol in the background/i.n and jisung are drunk, sexualization/inappropriate jokes courtesy of jisung, minho hits jisung for being a freak

Smut Tags: hot tub sex, unprotected sex, messy sex, chanlix anal, handjobs, fingering, hyunjin eating reader out, teasing, begging, playful/joking sex, dom/sub dynamics (subby hyune, dom chan, kind of switch felix + reader), dacryphilia, intercrural sex, praise, spit, bit of oral fixation, felix boobs in mouth, dirty talk

Taglist: @rylea08

!!ATTENTION!!

Reposting this fic to other platforms, including as a translation, is expressly prohibited. Do not copy, alter, or claim this fic as your own. Absolutely no permission is given to anyone to post my works, even with credit, and this fic should only appear on Ao3 or Tumblr under my accounts. Reposting is not only plagiarism, but a direct violation of my wishes as the original writer and owner. Please respect writers and don’t steal!

Likes, reblogs, asks and comments are very welcome and appreciated <3

~~~

‘Gleaming, twinkling,

Eyes like sinking

Ships on waters.

So inviting,

I almost jump in.’

The evening wind rushes against you, skimming the water and carrying the salty seabreeze with it. You shiver, the day is fading and you are admiring the last glimmers of light before night falls. There is still some warmth lingering in the sand, but not for much longer. You can feel the cool winds from the sea washing in with each passing moment, and seeping in through your baggy sweater. You shiver again, more out of anticipation than from the cold when you hear footsteps behind you. Your eyes remain trained on the lulling waves as a warm hand comes to rest in the small of your back, then a soft voice speaks in your ear.

“I told you to bring your coat.”

You snort and turn to look at Chan as he drapes his jacket over your shoulders. He is still wearing a thick black sweater, so you let him guide your arms through the sleeves of his jacket and zip you up without protest. He pecks your forehead then chuckles as you shuffle closer and rest your head on his chest. His arms close tight around you and he sways a little as you resume watching the sea.

“S’not that cold,” You mumble, your cheek is pressed against his chest.

“Oh, shush,” You giggle at his teasing words, “You just like to argue.”

“Not true.”

“Hmph.”

He kisses the top of your head then buries his nose there with a hum.

“Sure, babygirl.”

You sigh and shut your eyes, enjoying the sound of the ocean and Chan’s heart under your ear. Your current visit would only be brief, and you are savoring it while it lasts. The boys chose this spot for their break, finally finding time to rest between all their busy schedules. It would not be much of a vacation, but you were still thankful for the time to spend with your boyfriend and close friends.

“Oh my God,” Jisung shrieks in the distance, “I found a crab!”

“Give it to me,” Changbin demands immediately.

“Leave it alone,” Seungmin shouts over the chorus of excited responses, “Put it back! You’re scaring it!”

“Crabs don’t know fear,” Jeongin argues, “The only thing they fear is God!”

“How do you know? This one might be a crustatheist,” Minho’s joke is met with a mix of silence and groans of anguish.

You and Chan laugh together at the chaos as their voices ramp up again. You both turn to watch where your friends are gathered further down the beach. Chan slides one arm around your shoulders and pulls you in before you begin making your way towards them.

Changbin and Minho are squatting near the ground, eyes trained on the sand where a tiny crab is burrowing. Jisung steps behind them anxiously, teeth gritted and fingers curled in distress as Changbin tries to coax the creature onto a flat rock. Jeongin watches with a relaxed smile as Seungmin stands beside him while looking unimpressed.

“He doesn’t want to go on the rock,” Changbin complains.

“Leave him alone,” Seungmin mutters.

Minho roots his fingers in the sand then raises his hand, presenting the crab with a triumphant smirk.

“Got him.”

He holds it up to Jisung, who backpedals and falls gracelessly with a scream. Seungmin rolls his eyes as Changbin and Jeongin move closer to inspect Minho’s catch. Chan lets out a fond huff as Jisung recovers and scrambles over to see as well. Past the group, skipping rocks across the water, stand Felix and Hyunjin. Chan follows as you continue on towards them, arm securely pinning you to his side as a sharp breeze cuts through the otherwise calm air.

Felix notices you first and grins as you come to a stop beside him. Hyunjin’s stone plunks into the water after one skip and he whips around in a huff.

“You almost did it that time,” Felix comforts.

“Almost. Almost he says.”

Chan chuckles and steps away from you to join the game.

“I’ll teach you, Jinnie.”

“I know how to do it.”

Felix shakes his head and you giggle as Chan begins coaching Hyunjin anyway. You move closer and Felix meets you to take his spot at your side. His arms slide around your waist and pull your back to his chest as he rests his chin on your shoulder. You wrap your arms around his and you lean back as you watch your boyfriends. He squeezes you and nestles his face in the side of your neck as Hyunjin fails another attempt. You giggle as Hyunjin sits in the sand and buries his face in his hands. Chan pats his head as he laments his defeat.

“I hate rocks.”

“Rocks aren’t the problem,” Felix quips.

“Yes they are.”

You yelp as Changbin barrels into you and Felix, then throws his arms around the two of you. The three of you erupt into laughter as he spins you then buries his face in your neck. Your instinct is to shy away, but you can only fall further into Felix’s arms. He staggers but finds his balance to support the two of you as Changbin pulls back with a grin. His arms retract only for a moment, then his fingers delve under your layers to target your sides. You collapse and cackle maniacally as he tickles you relentlessly, and Felix tries to keep you on your feet.

“Cha-Changbin! What the He-ell!”

Felix eventually lets you fall so he can rescue you from Changbin’s torment, and you heave in another broken laugh as Felix traps him in a tight hug.

“What the Hell, Changbin,” Chan whines, mimicking your surprised voice.

“Shut up!”

“Changbin, what the Hell,” Hyunjin repeats, adding his own dramatic flair to his performance.

“Ugh, you all suck.”

Felix rests his head on Changbin’s shoulder and snuggles in.

“Hey, I saved you.”

“You’re snuggling with the enemy.”

“I’m not the enemy,” Changbin protests, “And you could never stop our snuggling.”

“I’ll find a way.”

“Get a room!” Jisung taunts from afar.

“What did you say?”

Changbin separates from Felix to chase after his new target, and Jisung sprints away when he realizes this. Chan flops down beside you and lays flat in the sand, his eyes falling shut as you admire him quietly. Felix comes to stand beside him as Hyunjin wanders around you aimlessly.

“Are you alright, Chris?” Felix asks softly.

“I’m perfect, Lix.”

You roll onto your side and prop your head up as Hyunjin takes a seat on the ground. He gently lifts Chan’s head onto his lap and brushes his fingers through his hair.

“Look, you got sand in your hair.”

Chan hums and smiles as Hyunjin sweeps his fingers gently over his cheek. You lay your head in Hyunjin’s lap as well and smile up at him. The wind tousles his locks as golden light shines above him, and he returns your fond gaze. Felix joins last; he sits beside Hyunjin and loops his arms around his waist, then rests his head on his shoulder. You lean up just enough to check where the rest of the group has gone, their voices fading as they wander down the beach, and Felix pats your head when it returns to Hyunjin’s lap.

“It’s so beautiful,” Hyunjin murmurs.

“Yeah,” You agree softly.

Chan opens his eyes and looks up at the sky. The blues and oranges have already begun to melt away into deeper hues and the light has dimmed. You watch his eyes search the clouds before he turns his head to look at you.

“It’s getting late.”

“Mhm,” You nod and let your eyes fall shut, Felix is petting your head in a soothing rhythm, “It’s pretty dark…”

Chan sits up and pauses before suggesting, “It looks like the boys have gone pretty far. Reckon we head back now?”

“Without them?” Felix asks as you sit up and stretch.

“Sure,” Chan answers, “It might be the only chance we get to spend some time together.”

Felix and Hyunjin stare expectantly so you add, “Alone. Just us.”

“Oh,” Hyunjin gasps, “R-Right.”

Felix looks in the distance for any signs of the other members.

“Only if you two want to, of course,” Chan assures, “If you two prefer sneaking around while the others are home, we’re certainly game. You’re pretty cute when you’re trying to keep quiet, Lixie.”

“Shut up,” Felix replies playfully, and his cheeks flare as he stands, “Keep it in your pants, old man.”

“Oh, I need to keep it in my pants? Maybe we’ll just play without you, then.”

“Don’t be a cunt.”

“Wow, don’t be a what?”

“You heard me.”

Chan pulls himself to his feet and grins as Felix runs off towards the beach house. He stalks after him calmly as Felix giggles mischievously and jogs backwards.

“You better apologize.”

“Make me.”

“Oh, I will,” Chan answers as he finally breaks into a run.

Felix yelps in response and scrambles to pick up his speed. Hyunjin laughs softly and stands, extending his hand to help you to your feet as well. He keeps his hand gently locked with yours as you begin following the others. His shoulder presses against yours and the contact makes your stomach flip. You both sneak a look at each other and you smile with anticipation. He looks away, but you still catch the embarrassment heating up his cheeks. You rest your head on his shoulder and give his hand a squeeze as you watch Chan catch Felix and swing him off his feet.

“Thank you for coming out here with us,” Hyunjin whispers, making your head perk up, “I’m really glad you could make it.”

“You don’t need to thank me, Hyunjin. I’m happy to be invited.”

“Sure, but you’d probably prefer just to be with Chan if you could. You’re stuck with all of us too.”

You shake your head.

“I don’t see it that way. I love spending time with all of you. Besides, how I see it is you’re all stuck with me, too.”

You giggle and grin up at him as he smiles shyly.

“I don’t think any of us mind being stuck with you. I know Felix and I don’t. And Chan is always a little better when you’re around.”

“Yeah? I think he does fine without me.”

“No,” He argues gently, “It’s different. You don’t see it like we do. Chan looks so happy when he’s with you.”

You look to where Chan and Felix are embracing ahead of you. Felix is whining as Chan peppers unforgiving kisses over his freckled cheeks.

“He looks happy when he’s with you too.”

Hyunjin huffs gently and pecks your temple. You rub his arm and snuggle against him with a pleased hum.

“Not feeling shy, I see,” You tease.

Hyunjin laughs.

“I-I am…”

“It’s okay, Hyunjin. I know you’re more comfortable when the others aren’t around.”

He ducks his head.

“I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to be sorry. It’s okay to want some privacy.”

“I know… I-I know they know… I just don’t want to have to explain anything to them.”

“That’s okay, you don’t have to explain it to us either. We already talked about it, right?”

“Right.”

“Hey,” Felix calls, he and Chan have paused to allow you to catch up, “Is everything okay?”

“We’re good, just chatting,” Hyunjin answers.

Felix comes to walk with you, ducking under Hyunjin’s arm and wrapping his arm around his waist. Chan joins at your side, placing his hand on Hyunjin’s back and leaning close so you are wedged between the two of them.

“Lix had a good idea, want to hear it?” Chan purrs.

“Of course,” You reply, still caressing Hyunjin’s arm where your hand is gripping his bicep.

Felix tilts his head to meet your gaze then smirks at Hyunjin.

“There’s a hot tub in the house. I think we should enjoy it while the others are gone.”

“That sounds nice,” Hyunjin agrees.

“I didn’t bring a swimsuit,” You inform.

“Oh, I didn’t either,” Hyunjin realizes.

“Oh, that’s a shame,” Chan coos, “I wonder what we’ll do about that.”

You peer suspiciously as Felix shares a knowing smirk with Chan.

“You didn’t bring one either,” You say to Chan.

“Hm, I wonder if we have another option, then?”

You look at Hyunjin, who is glaring at Felix through the darkening night.

“You two are perverted.”

Felix flusters as the realization dawns on you.

“Skinny dipping? Really you two?”

“You don’t like the idea?” Chan asks.

“I didn’t say that.”

You feel Chan’s arm brush you as he pats Hyunjin’s back.

“What are you thinking, Jin?”

He grimaces as you all turn your attention to him.

“That’s… really dirty.”

“Are you embarrassed, babe,” Felix teases, “Not up for the challenge?”

Hyunjin rolls his eyes.

“No… I’m just worried about the others coming back…”

“They won’t come back for a while,” Chan reasons.

“You and I can do something else, Jin,” You offer, “Watch a movie or something.”

“No… I want to do it.”

“Do you want to?” Felix asks.

“Yes, as long as we’re all comfortable.”

“We’ve all been naked in front of each other before, and quite comfortable last I checked,” Felix teases.

You reach in front of Hyunjin to pinch Felix’s side and he yelps as he catches your wrist. Chan takes advantage of the distraction and presses a kiss to the nape of your neck. You moan as he lingers there, hot breath washing over your skin and raising hairs, then you pull away from Felix to lightly elbow your boyfriend.

“Don’t tease me.”

Chan presses another kiss under your ear and brushes his lips against your jawline. He gently grabs your arm and guides you away from where you are stumbling into Hyunjin.

“Watch where you’re going, babygirl.”

“Shut up.”

Hyunjin tuts and takes his hand from yours to wrap it around your middle.

“Getting flustered?”

“Aw, baby,” Felix interrupts, “You don’t have to be nervous.”

You shrug them off and jog forward as you arrive at the house. You turn around and point your finger in an accusatory stance.

“All of you, behave.”

Felix blinks his eyes innocently as Hyunjin bows his head with a guilty smile. Chan steps up in front of you with a smirk.

“You like it when we’re bad, baby. Then you get to put us in our place.”

He steps past with the keys to unlock the door and you smack his bottom.

“Fuck yeah, I do.”

Felix and Hyunjin laugh as they follow you and Chan into the house. Felix jostles you playfully as you take off your shoes and outside clothes, and you turn to attack him with a hug when you finish. He giggles and pecks your face while wrapping his arms around your waist. You gently capture his chin and guide his lips to yours to share a teasing kiss. He tries to slip his tongue in your mouth and only manages to lap at your lips before you pull away.

“Hah,” His hips press to yours as he murmurs, “You’re so cute.”

Hyunjin comes to stand behind you, his chest pressed against your back as he speaks in your ear.

“I hate to break you two up, but didn’t we have a plan?”

You turn your head and giggle as Felix pecks your neck.

“Mhm, I don’t remember,” He sighs into your skin, “Refresh my memory?”

Chan is watching you with a lazy smile as he speaks, “Hot tub. Skinny dipping.”

“Ah, right.”

You giggle as Hyunjin physically redirects Felix away from you and down the hall, then you turn to Chan. He moves closer and pecks your cheek before nodding after them.

“Go on, I’ll be right there.”

“What are you doing?”

He holds up his phone and winks.

“Just making sure we get our privacy.”

You raise your eyebrow.

“Alright, don’t keep us waiting.”

“I won’t.”

You take your time undressing in your’s and Chan’s shared room and don a towel before padding down the hall. It seems Felix and Hyunjin have taken their time as well, since you are the first to arrive at the hot tub. It is running in a private room on the bottom floor of the house. You take a seat on the edge and dip your hand in the water. Your head perks up as Felix enters the room in a robe.

“Where did you find a robe?”

He fluffs the collar and does a pose.

“Jealous?”

“Yeah, you should take it off.”

He sputters and unties the belt as he crosses the room.

“Very forward. How’s the water?”

“It’s good, not too hot actually.”

Felix takes a seat next to you and tilts his head as you run your hand over his chest. Your damp fingers dip beneath the fabric and draw it open as you run your hand over his skin. He sucks in a breath as your fingers trace down his sternum and open his robe further. His lips part to let out a shuddery breath and you feel his body shiver under your touch.

“Oh my God,” Your hand pauses on Felix’s abdomen as Hyunjin speaks up from the doorway, “And you two think Chan is the horny one.”

You laugh and run your hand back up Felix’s front. He smirks and leans in to share a heated kiss.

“Can’t help it,” Felix pants against your lips.

“Trust me, I can tell,” Hyunjin assures.

You giggle and indulge Felix with a few more kisses before turning to face Hyunjin. You meet his gaze bravely as you grab the front of Felix’s robe and slide it off his shoulders. Hyunjin’s eyes widen as Felix mouths at your neck and you let his robe drop from your hands. Felix slides his hands under your towel to grasp your thighs as he sucks a hickey into your throat. One hand slides up to pull your towel down as he draws your thigh over his lap. You follow his lead and look over your shoulder at Hyunjin as he watches you straddle his boyfriend.

Chan leans in the doorway and cocks his eyebrow, then looks at Hyunjin where he stands unmoving in front of him. Felix’s hands roam over your bare back and one slides down to grope your ass as you settle in his lap. His cock jumps against your abdomen as he litters more wet kisses over your neck and chest. Your eyes flutter and you hum approval as he leans down to suck at your breasts.

“Enjoying the show?”

Hyunjin gasps and clutches his robe, over his heart, as he turns to Chan with a frustrated sigh. Felix chuckles and raises his head as Chan struts into the room and asks:

“What’s wrong, aren’t you going to join them, Hyune?”

Hyunjin huffs and crosses his arms.

“You first.”

“Gladly.”

Chan finishes crossing the room and drops his towel before easing into the hot tub. He meets your gaze and lounges against the side with his arms spread across the ledge. He nods at Felix and makes a beckoning motion, which you respond with by standing from his lap. Felix whines and pouts up at you as you brace your hands on his chest. You wink and shove him back to be caught in Chan’s waiting arms. Felix makes a surprised sound when he splashes into the water then laughs as Chan pulls him into his lap. Chan nips at his ear and rubs his chest as he melts into his form.

You turn to face Hyunjin, still observing in silence where he stands. His eyes flit over your nude body before he shyly turns away.

“Jinnie,” You sing, “Aren’t you going to join us?”

“Yes…”

“Come in, babe,” Felix urges, Chan is still hungrily mouthing at his neck and shoulder.

You step into the hot tub and sink down with a moan. The water immediately begins to ease your muscles and lull you into a relaxed position. You look at Chan and Felix, who have paused, then turn your head to look at Hyunjin. His fingers fumble with his robe and he avoids meeting your eyes.

“Are you alright, Jinnie?” You ask sweetly.

“I’m fine…”

“Don’t be shy, babe,” Felix begs.

“I can’t strip when you’re all staring at me.”

“Aw, why not?” Chan whines.

You and Felix giggle as Hyunjin glares in response. You turn and cross your arms on the edge of the tub, then rest your chin in your arms. You look up at Hyunjin and smile from where you slouch in the water.

“Hyunjin? Don’t you want to join us?”

He nods and tucks a strand of hair behind his ear, then watches you extend one of your hands.

“Come here, sweetheart. I’ll help you get undressed.”

“O-Okay…”

He comes forward and takes your hand, then gasps as you pull him to sit on the edge of the hot tub. You giggle and rest one hand in his lap, blinking up at him seductively as that hand roams over his clothed crotch. He swallows and tries to muffle a moan with his hand as you palm him lazily through the robe. Your other hand deftly undoes the tie keeping it closed and you smirk up at him. His eyes dart away and he sighs.

“Would you two… stop ogling me?”

“Nope,” Chan replies simply.

“We’re admiring you, love.”

“Don’t look at them,” You demand, turning Hyunjin to face you by cupping his chin, “They’re not the ones touching you, now are they?”

“N-No…”

“Right. So if you want me to keep touching you, you should keep your eyes on me.”

“Damn,” Chan hisses, and Felix shushes him.

Hyunjin’s eyes flutter and he quivers at the demand. He looks away for a second, before taking a deep breath and braving your gaze. Your expression turns ravenous as you caress his chin and run your hand down to his chest.

“Good boy.”

He nods, biting his lip as your hand slips under his robe to touch him directly. Soft groans slip from his lips as you stroke his length. His eyes follow yours through his lashes as you part his robe and let it fall open. He whimpers as you spread his legs and rest your cheek against the inside of his thigh. You look at his cock and drink in the sight of it hard and throbbing from your touch. You look up and tsk when you see his eyes are tightly shut, then draw your hand away. Hyunjin bites his fist to muffle his cry of frustration as his hips jump in desperation for your touch.

“B-Baby, pl-ease,” He hiccups.

“Look at me.”

“I-I’m not going to last…”

He looks down at you, eyes tearing up as your hand brushes the inside of his leg. You rise to stand between his legs and cup his cheeks as he frowns at you.

“Come in, baby. I’ll take care of you.”

“Fuck.”

You giggle and help him slip out of his robe, then slide your arms around his shoulders as he falls into the water with you. His lips slot against yours as you thread your fingers through his hair, and his cock ruts against your thigh. You break the kiss and huff softly.

“Hyunjinnie…”

You gasp as strong hands grab your waist, and Chan pulls you back into his lap. He pecks your shoulder and motions Hyunjin to follow you.

“Come on, Hyune. Be a good boy for her.”

Hyunjin cries out softly and falls into your waiting arms. You kiss his cheek and swipe your thumb over his bottom lip as it quivers.

“Close, baby?”

Felix settles next to you in Chan’s lap, and chuckles as Hyunjin sucks your thumb into his mouth.

“Hyunjin, baby,” Felix groans, “You look so good right now.”

“Stop,” Hyunjin cries.

“Stop what,” Felix breathes, “You’re gorgeous.”

You reach between your bodies and resume stroking Hyunjin, which quiets his embarrassed protests. His face flushes and his eyes tear up as your hand teases his cock beneath the water. Hyunjin muffles his needy sounds by shoving his face into your shoulder and Chan pecks a sweet kiss to the crown of his head. You cup his neck and hold him to you with adoration.

“There you go, Hyune,” Chan praises, “You’re such a good boy.”

Hyunjin nods and thrusts into your hand. Felix finds a place on his shoulder to begin littering little kisses and whispers soft encouragement to you both.

“There you go, feels good, right? Gonna come? Be a good boy and come. You’re treating our Hyune so well, darling. He’s so lucky to have your pretty hands on his cock.”

Chan draws Felix in for a sloppy kiss before they return their attention to you. Felix lovingly pets Hyunjin’s back and kisses his neck where he can reach it. Chan hums into your hair and slides a hand around your waist, between your legs to slip two fingers into your heat. You jerk at the intrusion and knock your head against his chin. Chan grunts and you sputter when he burrows his face in the nape of your neck.

“Ow.”

“Well, don’t just- a-ahh!”

Your hips roll to chase the feeling of Chan’s fingers curling inside you, putting just enough pressure on your sweet spot as his thumb rolls over your clit.

“Don’t what? Hm? Use your words, babygirl.”

“You’re mean,” Hyunjin chastises, the rhythm of your touch breaking from Chan’s distraction, “Hah, too rough with her.”

You warble in agreement as you try to focus on stroking Hyunjin. Chan easily keeps the pace of fingering you as his other hand seizes your wrist. Hyunjin whines and butts his face into your neck as your hand is forced to still.

“I could be a lot meaner,” Chan whispers as he releases his hold on you, “Besides, she’s more than ready for it. Touch her, Lix.”

You resume stroking Hyunjin, his short grunts and breathy moans telling you that he is close. Chan’s fingers leave and Felix’s replace them. Although his are smaller, he makes up for this by immediately delving three of them deep into your heat. You mumble a string of curses into Hyunjin’s hair, clawing your fingers down his back as Felix fingerfucks you steadily.

“Wet and loose. Can’t get enough, can you? Hm?”

You moan and nod dumbly. Chan chuckles and lifts Hyunjin’s chin to look at him.

“And you think I’m the mean one?”

Hyunjin shakes his head as Chan pushes his thumb into his mouth. He swipes it over his tongue and presses it to the inside of his cheek. Hyunjin’s eyes flutter and his mouth opens in a broken moan as he comes from your touch. Felix chuckles, kissing the marks you left on Hyunjin’s back as he retracts his hand from your core. You sigh at the loss of contact and watch the tears slip down Hyunjin’s cheeks as your touch overstimulates him. Slowly, you cease touching him to let him recover from his high. Chan removes his thumb from his mouth and uses the spit-laden appendage to wipe the tears from Hyunjin’s cheeks. He sniffles and leans dazedly into Chan’s touch, cheeks flush and slick.

“Still good, baby?” Chan asks softly, “You with us?”

Hyunjin nods and looks over his shoulder as Felix kisses his cheek.

“You did so well, gorgeous,” He praises.

Hyunjin turns to you and presses a hot kiss to the corner of your lips. You giggle and meet him properly for the second one. He parts his lips and lets you slip your tongue inside for a messy kiss that leaves a string of saliva between your lips when you part. He groans and ducks his head before facing you again.

“I just realized… how gross this is.”

Chan chuckles and tauntingly strokes the inside of your thigh.

“What? Spit?” Felix asks as he wipes your chin clean.

“No… We’re sitting in my… cum.”

“Yeah, that’s pretty gross,” You agree as Chan nibbles your ear.

“Felix, don’t tell me that got you hard,” Hyunjin snaps as Felix laughs into his back.

He looks at you with a salacious grin and props his chin over Hyunjin’s shoulder.

“Listen, babe, just because you’re having post-nut clarity doesn’t mean we have to.”

“You should, you degenerate.”

“Well, you’re welcome to leave-”

“As if.”

You giggle and let Chan maneuver you to lean against the edge of the tub. He settles himself between your legs and traps you against the wall with his arms as he slowly leans in with a greedy stare. You sigh and lean your elbows back on the ledge, offering a challenging smirk as he moves in. Felix snakes his arms around Chan’s middle and blinks at you affectionately as your boyfriend presses his forehead to yours. You giggle and reach up to run your fingers through his hair, then reach past him to cup Felix’s cheek. You tilt your head to the side, away from Chan, to meet Felix’s gaze.

“You’re so pretty, Lix.”

“Thank you.”

Chan sets his jaw and brushes his nose against your cheek.

“Is that how it is?”

You thread your fingers in Felix’s hair and watch his eyes roll when you tug. You turn to face Chan with faux concern as he glares at you softly.

“I’m just worried Lix isn’t getting enough attention, Channie.”

Chan shudders then turns to watch you slide your hand down and wrap it around Felix’s throat. He groans when your grip tentatively tightens and guides him closer, between you and Chan. His eyes flutter open and he shoots Chan a smug look. Chan responds by grabbing the back of Felix’s head and pushing his face into your breasts. You scoff and share a look with Hyunjin, who is lounging against an edge with his elbow propped to hold his head up. He tilts his head to watch Felix suck your nipple between his lips. You moan and drape your arm lazily over his shoulders as he laps his way to your other breast.

“I think he gets plenty of attention,” Chan mumbles.

You laugh and slide your foot against the inside of Chan’s leg. He moves closer to pin Felix between both of you and chuckles at your airy moans. Felix lets out a muffled hum before licking a filthy stripe over your sensitive bud.

“I disagree,” He murmurs, “I’m feeling so neglected.”

Hyunjin speaks up from his spot, “It’s hard to feel bad for you when you have tits in your mouth.”

Felix looks up at you with his round eyes and sighs.

“God gives his hardest battles to his sexiest soldiers.”

“So true, baby,” You coo.

Chan snickers and Hyunjin rolls his eyes as Felix eagerly returns to suckling on your breasts. Chan glances at Hyunjin as needy sounds spill from your lips, and leans back to acknowledge him.

“Feeling left out?”

Hyunjin shakes his head.

“I’m good. I’m enjoying the view from right here.”

You keen as Felix nips the soft underside of your breasts and exhales hotly on your sensitive skin. He kisses lower, giving testing licks as he travels to your stomach. Chan reaches around to clasp Felix’s jaw and pulls him back. Felix’s eyes roll from the pressure on his throat and he grunts as Chan presses his lips to his ear.

“Aren’t you such a good boy for her?”

Felix nods, watching you through his lashes as Chan ghosts his hand down his front. His cock jumps when Chan’s hand slides over his abdomen and pauses there. You sigh and watch impatiently as Felix bucks his hips.

“Chan, please.”

“What’s wrong? You don’t want to be my good boy?”

“I-I do…”

“Not fair,” You whine.

Chan kisses Felix’s neck and chuckles.

“I’m just giving Lixie some attention. Wasn’t that your suggestion?”

You click your tongue and sit up.

“I didn’t say to tease him.”

“But isn’t he so cute like this?”

“Yeah,” You muse as you admire the shuddering of Felix’s toned chest, “He is pretty cute.”

Chan roughly gropes Felix’s inner-thigh and groans as he squirms in his arms.

“Excited, are you?”

“You’re one to talk. Fuck, you’re so fucking hard Chan.”

You giggle as Chan blushes and releases Felix. He drops in front of you and leans into your welcoming embrace with a soft groan. You feel his cock press against you as he kisses you fervently, his arms pulling your bodies tight together as your hands run over his back.

Chan leans one hand on the ledge beside you and traces a finger slowly down Felix’s spine. He shivers and whimpers into your mouth as Chan’s touch dances over his freckles, drawing invisible constellations as the two of you share lazy kisses. Felix breaks the kiss and you take the opportunity to peck his forehead as Chan traces his spine again. Felix arches his back and groans at the friction of your hips coming together.

“Chris,” He cries, “Wh-What are you-”

Chan teases his fingers over Felix’s hole and slots his cock between the younger’s shaking thighs. You feel the drag of it against the tangle of your legs and bite your lip as you meet Chan’s gaze. He smirks and presses closer, forcing Felix’s chest flush to yours as he moves in. Felix moans and looks down as Chan ruts his cock under his, then looks at you as one of Chan’s hands roam over his chest. You contrast Chan’s sloppy thrusts and slow groping by sweetly tucking Felix’s hair out of his face. He inhales shakily as Chan slips a finger over his hole again.

“God, just put it in,” Felix growls.

You giggle and cup his face as Chan’s hands slide down to his hips.

“Don’t be so hasty, love,” Chan whispers.

“You’re a tease.”

“I just want to make sure you’re wet, darling.”

“We’re in a fucking hot t-UB!”

Felix jerks as Chan spreads his cheeks and spits into his open hole. Felix thrusts again, chasing the friction of his cock against your abdomen, before quivering and collecting himself. Chan spits again then pushes one of his thumbs into Felix’s puckering hole. You moan and roll your hips up for some stimulation as you stroke your thumbs over Felix’s defined cheekbones.

“That’s better,” Chan decides, admiring Felix’s slick hole.

“You’re disgusting,” Felix groans.

Chan fucks himself between his legs and you assist by closing your legs around Felix’s thighs, creating a tighter slit for Chan to slip between. Felix whines as it becomes harder for him to move his hips, and follows Chan as his hand comes around his throat again. Your core pulses from watching Chan hold him up, then he tugs Felix’s hands from your body.

“Arms. Now.”

“Chaaan,” Felix protests, but folds his arms behind his back for Chan to grasp in his other hand.

“See? Was that so hard?”

Felix whimpers as you begin running your hands over his pecs and pressing kisses to his chest. Chan is still lazily grinding between his thighs, frotting their cocks together from behind.

“You’re so pretty, Lix,” Hyunjin compliments, his voice low and ragged.

You drag your lips down Felix’s abs and look up as you place an open-mouthed kiss just below his belly button. Felix fights to look down at you as Chan tilts his head back.

“You want her mouth so bad, huh? Think you deserve it?”

“I do,” Felix argues.

“Oh yeah?”

Chan pauses as you close your hands around both of their cocks and Felix makes a relieved noise. You stroke them slowly and look up with a sigh.

“For the record, I don’t think either of you have done much to ‘deserve’ it. The only thing you’ve been doing is teasing me.”

“A-And what do you think he’s doing to me?” Felix sobs.

Chan chuckles and nuzzles his nose against Felix’s cheek.

“But Felix, you’ve been such a good boy.”

Felix rolls his eyes then makes a choked sound as you squeeze the tip of his cock. He thrusts into your hand and Chan pulls him back.

“Come on…”

“Beautiful,” Hyunjin calls, stealing your attention, “Why don’t you let them play together and I’ll take care of you?”

“No…” Felix pleads as you draw your hands away.

“You’ll be fine,” Hyunjin dismisses as he watches you wade your way over beside him.

Chan chuckles and finally releases his constricting grip on Felix. You let Hyunjin lift you up on the edge of the hot tub as Chan sits across from you. He beckons Felix closer and guides him to sit in his lap as Hyunjin ducks between your legs. You watch him pull your thighs over his shoulders and move in to lick between your folds. You are so pent up from watching the others you fail to suppress the high-pitched sound that he draws from your lips. Felix and Chan are both facing you, admiring you, as Chan hikes one of Felix’s legs over his arm and begins fingering him open. Felix lays like a ragdoll, letting Chan touch him and move him as he pleases as he watches you through half-lidded eyes.

Hyunjin barely swipes his tongue into your heat, choosing instead to focus on lapping at your clit and flicking it around your folds. You are too needy to complain, just sighing and moaning as he latches his lips to your clit and sucks. Chan hurriedly preps Felix and guides himself into his spread hole. Felix makes a wrecked sound as Chan’s fist closes around his leaking cock and he thrusts up to the hilt. Your fingers clench on the edge of the tub and you watch them desperately as your climax approaches. You wiggle and Hyunjin clasps your hips, allowing you to grind your pussy on his lips until you reach your high. You laugh breathlessly and release a series of pitchy moans as he devours you happily, letting you use him until you are satiated. You continue through your orgasm until the overstimulation has you trembling.

Hyunjin reaches up to catch you in his arms as you drop back into the water, still a bit shaky as you come down from your high. Your arousal is smeared on his lips and he licks them clean before kissing you. It is endearing, even when you taste yourself on his tongue and feel him half-hard between your moving bodies, your heart swells at his kiss. You blame Chan and Felix for leaving you untouched, but secretly know there is something special about Hyunjin that is drawing this reaction from you. He cups your cheeks and kisses you, soft and slow, drawing it out as long as he can until you are panting beneath him.

“Baby?”

“Hah,” You respond, dazed as you look up at him, “Yes?”

“Are you okay? You’re shaking, sweetheart.”

Your heart stutters at his tender expression, and you nod quickly to settle his nerves.

“Good, I’m good. Still coming down, that’s all.”

“Alright. Do you need a break?”

“No, n-no. We can just sit here.”

“Alright, baby,” Hyunjin smiles, patient and fond, before pecking your forehead, “Sit with me. Let’s just watch for a bit.”

You follow Hyunjin down to lounge in the water and find your core winding up at how he secures his arm around your shoulder. His movements are slow, hesitant, as he pulls you close and gently caresses your arm with his thumb. He brushes stray hairs from your face and runs his thumb under your jawline with loving attention. You look up and feel safe, warmth pooling in your stomach, when you meet his doting gaze. His serene smile is still there as he glances over at Felix and Chan.

There is something remarkable about Felix’s flexibility, it must come from years of training and dancing. Chan has his leg held up in a way that looks painful, but you trust that if Felix did not want it that way he would have spoken by now. Chan is jerking him off hard, and thrusting up with no control. The scene looks pornographic, and the sounds spilling from Felix’s mouth sound even more so. You can tell he is close from the volume of his desperation.

“Ch-Chan! Chan- Chris- fuck! Please please, oh my God, fuck! Yes, please-”

Hyunjin keeps stroking your arm, pulling you in to snuggle against his chest. You sink down and feel his cheek nestle against the top of your head. Felix groans, loud enough that you would worry about someone else hearing if you were not the only ones in the house. His cum shoots up his front, painting his chest and abdomen with thick streaks as Chan fucks him through his climax. It dribbles down his cock as it falls soft against his stomach, and he groans lowly as Chan keeps fucking him. Chan’s hand has slipped to hold the inside of his thigh, keeping his legs spread by digging his fingers into the tight muscles.

“That’s good, so good, Lix,” Chan praises, “M’gonna keep going, can I cum- cum inside? M’so close, baby.”

“Uh-huh,” Felix mewls, voice airy as Chan fucks another groan out of him, “Inside, yeah…”

“That’s messy,” Hyunjin teases, “You made a mess, Lix.”

“S’good, feels good,” Felix babbles, making you both laugh.

Chan giggles into Felix’s neck and whispers his own mindless stream of groans and praises as he finds his release. He knocks his hips up, pushing himself deeper inside as he cums. Felix twitches as Chan’s cock throbs inside him, and cum begins to spill out of his plugged hole.

“Yeah, yeah Lix, milk it. Fuck, you take it so good.”

Felix nods, eyebrows pinched in pleasure as his mouth falls open.

“Ch-Chan, f-fuck it’s hot. You’re so hot.”

“Yeah? You love it, baby?”

“Yeah…”

Chan kisses his neck sweetly and slowly eases Felix off of him. The younger groans and falls bonelessly into the water, letting Chan in behind him to scoop him into his arms. Chan hums and peppers kisses over his face, neck, then chest as Felix’s head lolls back. Chan giggles and nudges his nose against Felix’s chin.

“Sleepy?”

“Mhm…”

“I fucked you that good?”

“No, not that good.”

Chan punishes Felix with a bite to his jawline and he yelps.

“Brat.”

Felix makes a noise of disagreement as he drowsily meets Chan for a kiss. Chan grumbles something but Felix muffles his words with lazy pecks.

“Now they’re going to make-out for like an hour,” Hyunjin mumbles.

“No,” Felix says, “Not that long…”

“Just until he passes out,” Chan murmurs.

“And then you make-out some more when he wakes up,” You say as their kissing resumes.

“Mhm,” Chan defends, “S’called aftercare. I do it because I care about him.”

“You’re obsessed with me,” Felix jokes, “You act like you’re in love with me or something.”

“Because I am.”

Felix’s eyes widen and his cheeks flush at Chan’s words. His reaction goes unnoticed, but not to you or Hyunjin. He shifts beside you, his fingers twitch as Chan’s hand cups Felix’s neck and pulls him in for another kiss. His eyes flutter shut and he melts into it, not noticing how your hand takes Hyunjin’s under the water or when you look up because you hear his heart pounding in his chest. He meets your gaze and relieves your worries with a smile. He looks unsure, but not upset. There is a glimmer of desire in his eyes when he looks back at Felix and Chan, sharing deft touches and needy kisses.

You giggle and sarcastically muse, “Wow, Chan. Just go ahead and say Felix is your favourite.”

Chan breaks away and looks at you with a soft glare, while Felix whines and nuzzles his cheek.

“I don’t have a favourite.”

“You love us all equally?” Hyunjin clarifies.

At this, Chan hesitates to answer. He shares a look with you then carefully replies:

“Yeah, I love you all. You mean the world to me.”

Felix successfully coaxes Chan into giving him another kiss, and when they pull apart holds Chan’s cheeks to maintain his gaze.

“Don’t be so casual about it.”

Chan chuckles.

“I can’t say I love you?”

“You love me because I take it up the ass for you.”

“That’s not true. I want to fuck you in the ass because I love you. There’s a difference.”

“There’s a difference,” You repeat with an unconvinced lilt.

“So,” Hyunjin concludes, “Felix lets you fuck him in the ass and becomes your favourite. I see how it is.”

You cackle as Chan rolls his eyes and Felix raises his eyebrows.

“Sure. Felix is my favourite. For that reason.”

“That’s okay,” You hum, “Hyunjin is my favourite.”

Hyunjin physically jumps with surprise at your confession and looks at you with disbelief. Felix chortles at his reaction and accepts the kisses Chan meticulously presses to each of his freckles. Your boyfriend is entirely unbothered by your comment, failing to justify Hyunjin’s reaction with even a sideways glance as he stares expectantly at him. Then, he stares at you.

“Why?”

You shrug, feeling drowsy and a little high off the hint of curiosity in Hyunjin’s voice.

“I just like you. I like how you watch out for Channie. I like how you take care of Felix. I like the way you fall in love.”

Hyunjin’s eyes soften at your inviting smile.

“Oh. I love you too.”

“I know.”

Hyunjin splutters as you look back at the others nonchalantly, although you are horribly suppressing your sheepish reaction. You avoid looking at him and pointedly turn away as your cheeks flush and a grin breaks out on your face.

“Baby? Baby, wait, look at me.”

“Can’t.”

“B-But- please?”

You shake your head as Hyunjin’s arms come around you from behind.

“You made her shy, Hyunjin,” Felix comments.

“I’m not shy,” You argue as you let Hyunjin turn you around.

Your breath catches as you watch him. His brows are furrowed with determination and his plush lips are pressed into a tight line. He cups your cheeks and leans in, lips hovering over yours as he chooses the right words.

“Y-You’re not going to say it?”

You grin.

“Say what?”

He looks helplessly at Chan and Felix.

“Aw, babe,” Chan scolds, “Don’t be so difficult.”

Felix yawns then adds, “He deserves an ‘I love you’, he ate you out.”

“He wanted to do that.”

“You don’t want to say it?” Hyunjin questions.

You sigh and throw your arms around his shoulders.

“Hwang Hyunjin,” He nods, listening intently to your words, “I promise, one-hundred percent, without a doubt, that I love you. And I will say it as many times as you need to hear it.”

“B-But… do you…”

“For the record,” Chan cuts in, “I love you too. I loved you first, actually. She just copied me.”

“I did not copy falling in love with Hyunjin, you bitch.”

Felix’s head is resting on Chan’s chest, held close with one hand while the other points accusingly at you.

“You didn’t like him until I liked him.”

“I didn’t like him until I started dating you, I didn’t even know him.”

“Yeah, so, I win.”

You shake your head then return your attention to Hyunjin.

“What were you going to say, baby?”

“Um… So do you like me- like, love me or… just, you know…”

“Babe,” Felix murmurs, “What do you think?”

Hyunjin looks pained as he considers the options, but you quickly relieve his stress by answering his question.

“I don’t just like you in a ‘friend’ way. I cherish every second I get to spend with you, Hyunjin. I need you and I love you.”

Hyunjin nods.

“Me too. I-I love you, too.”

“I love you too,” Felix offers, “Just so you know.”

You roll your eyes.

“I love you too, Lix.”

“Nice.”

“Noice.”

“Hey.”

Chan chuckles and smiles at you.

“Chan… you’re just alright,” You quip.

“Well, you’re sexy and amazing. See how I didn’t stoop to your level?”

“Chan,” Hyunjin says, “I don’t want to interrupt, but Felix is falling asleep on your chest and I think we should clean him up.”

Chan looks down to Felix drooling on his chest and hums as he gently shakes him.

“So he is. You’re right, but shouldn’t we say ‘I love you’ first?”

Hyunjin nods shyly and Chan glances at you before you move over to take Felix into your arms. He stirs when he falls against you and you scoop some water over his dirty chest. He mutters something, maybe a thank-you, as Chan comes to Hyunjin and pulls him into a kiss. Hyunjin returns it eagerly, allowing Chan to dip him slightly to deepen the kiss. Hyunjin pulls away first, and giggles as Chan pecks all over his face.

“I love you, Chan.”

“I love you too, baby.”

You smile at them as Chan lets Hyunjin straighten again.

Hyunjin and Chan help Felix out of the hot tub and dress him in his robe, before he eventually gives up on standing and Chan has to carry him out of the room. There are two bathrooms in the house. Hyunjin runs a bath for Felix in one of them, while you start a shower in the other. You hear the door open a few minutes into your shower, then Chan’s soft voice shortly after that.

“It’s me, babe.”

“Are you coming in?”

“Yeah, I just had to do something.”

You poke your head out of the shower curtain and smile when you see Chan has brought clean towels and pajamas. His head perks up as he drops his towel and he smirks at you.

“Wow. Couldn’t help yourself? Had to take a peek, you little minx?”

You giggle and push the curtain open as he steps in. You share a quick kiss as he shuts the curtain behind himself and steps under the water with you.

“I want to know where they found robes. How come all we can find is towels.”

“I don’t know, love. I’m sure they’re around somewhere.”

“How is Lix doing?”

“He’s good. Hyunjin’s in the tub with him. He’ll take a nap and go back to being a menace again.”

You nod and giggle as Chan pulls your body to his. Your hands rest on his shoulders and you gaze up at him as you sway under the water.

“You tired?” He asks.

“Kind of, getting there.”

He pecks your forehead.

“Let’s get you cleaned up, babygirl.”

“Channie?”

“Mhm?”

“I love you.”

He smiles, that eye-pinching grin that melts your heart every time.

“I love you more.”

“Impossible.”

“S’not,” He protests with a soft pout, “I do.”

“You’re just gonna have to prove it to me, I guess.”

He chuckles and kisses you, leisurely and chaste.

“No problem. You’re easy to love.”

“Mhm, be quiet,” You complain.

You finish your shower laughing together. Chan steps out first, throws on his towel then takes yours and begins helping you dry off. You throw your arms up and let him pat you down, then squeal when he throws it over your head and squeezes your sides.

“Chan!”

You pull it down with a huff that gets interrupted with a kiss. He smiles against your lips when you lightly hit him with the towel.

“Christopher.”

He giggles.

“Yes?”

“Behave.”

“Mhm, okay.”

He pecks your nose and finishes patting you dry, then gives you your space so you can get dressed. The clothes are your comfy underwear, favourite bedtime shorts, and one of his black hoodies. You pull it on then hold the material up to your nose to inhale his scent. Chan pulls on his boxers then pauses partway through donning his sweatpants to observe you. You smile with your eyes, nose and mouth covered in the soothing material. He finishes getting dressed, having opted to stay shirtless, and tilts his head at you.

“Happy?”

“Mh-hm…”

You shuffle into his arms and he welcomes you with a hug. He buries his nose in your hair and you let the fabric drop as you peck his chest.

“Let’s go, babygirl.”

“Hn?”

You shriek as Chan picks you up by your thighs and brings your legs around his waist. Your arms close tight around his neck and you cry out in protest.

“Chan! Don’t do that!”

He laughs and carries you out of the bathroom, down the hall to the living room. Hyunjin and Felix are already there, lounging on the couch in their matching pajamas as they choose something to watch. Felix is sipping a glass of water, tucked into Hyunjin’s side as he scrolls through the options. Chan drops you on the couch and catches your ankle when you try to kick him.

“I know your tricks, sweetheart.”

Hyunjin makes his decision and watches Felix hold his empty glass out to Chan.

“Chris?”

Chan sighs and takes it, then leaves the room to refill it for him. Felix shoots you a satisfied smirk and you shake your head.

“Get your own malewife.”

“I want yours.”

“I heard that!”

“No you didn’t,” Felix teases, then looks expectantly at Hyunjin.

“Stop looking at me like that.”

Felix pouts.

“You don’t want to be my malewife?”

“Hyunjin is so boygirlfriend, actually,” You murmur.

“Oh yeah, he so is.”

“I don’t know what those words mean but I feel like I should be offended. Stop it.”

Chan returns with a fresh glass of ice water and presses his cold hand to the back of your neck. You curse and twist away from his touch as Felix takes his water and sings:

“Thank you, Chan.”

“You’re welcome, little bastard.”

“I love when couples have pet names,” Hyunjin jokes.

“It’s not a pet name, that’s Lix’s species,” You add.

“I’m not a creature.”

“You act like one,” Chan mutters.

Felix holds his glass out and Chan lets out a long sigh before reluctantly taking it.

“Getting fucked in the ass doesn’t make you incapable of taking care of yourself.”

“Yes it does.”

“Lix is a babygirl, he can’t help it,” You defend.

Felix nods sagely and Hyunjin tsks, before Chan replies:

“If babygirl means spoiled princess, then it definitely suits the two of you,” He pauses, “Three of you.”

Hyunjin ponders then shrugs, yawning instead of trying to muster up an argument against Chan’s logic. Chan sets Felix’s water aside, giving you time to crawl between Hyunjin and Felix and cuddle into a comfortable position. Hyunjin lets you rest your head in his lap, even tucking a throw pillow beneath to better support it. Felix lays somewhat on top of you, partially wedged between you and the couch so he can put his head low on your chest and slot one of his legs between yours. Chan assesses the situation then settles himself on top of you. His head rests on your stomach and he tangles himself around Felix. Felix welcomes him in by wrapping his arms around his shoulders and pecking his forehead.

“You weren’t planning on going anywhere, right?” You ask Hyunjin.

He snorts.

“Not anymore.”

Hyunjin lazes one arm over the back of the couch and lets his other rest on the armrest. Chan tugs a blanket up over himself and Felix and hums contently. Felix shimmies lower and tilts Chan’s head up to give him a kiss. You reach over your head to grab Hyunjin’s hand and bring it to your lips, brushing a sweet peck over his knuckles. He makes a soft sound and smiles down at you, then begins brushing his fingers over your cheek. He carefully traces over your cheekbones, eyelids, down the bridge of your nose. He pauses on your lips, slips his finger between them gently, then moves to your chin and jawline. You watch him intently, then let your attention shift to Chan and Felix where they trade kisses beside you.

“I told you they would start making out again,” You whisper to Hyunjin.

“I’m not surprised.”

“You’re just jealous,” Felix decides.

“Are you jealous?” Chan asks, his voice slurring with exhaustion.

“No,” Hyunjin assures, “I love seeing you two together.”

“Simp,” Felix replies.

You place your hand between their faces and laugh as Felix whines and tries to see Chan around it.

“Baby, please,” Chan begs.

You sigh and move your hand to play with his hair. Hyunjin continues stroking your cheek with his thumb as he turns his attention to the television. Felix reaches up to tug on his shirt.

“Hey, you’re good, right?”

“Why wouldn’t I be good?”

“I mean… You didn’t really believe them earlier.”

Hyunjin looks annoyed as you and Chan both look at him with concern.

“It’s not that I didn’t believe them! I just want to make sure we’re all on the same page.”

“Why wouldn’t we be on the same page?” You ask gently.

“I don’t know… People say things in the moment and…”

“Hyunjin,” Chan says, dozy and a little sternly, “Do you think we didn’t mean it when we said we love you?”

“I know you love me. I just also know how Felix loves me, so I don’t want to assume you mean it the same way.”

“Oh,” You breathe, “You’re afraid we’re not in love with you, right?”

“You don’t have to be…”

“Then what can we do to show you we are?” Chan asks.

Hyunjin falters then Felix speaks up for him:

“Putting a label on this might help? There hasn’t really been much talk of commitment since we started seeing each other’s partners. Maybe… we stop wondering how long this will last and… finally make it official?”

You grin at Felix, his words are clearly thought out but his tone is hesitant. Voice a little shaky, eyes a little watery. Hyunjin lets his hand fall from the back of the couch to rub Felix’s back in soothing circles.

“Alright, let’s make it official,” Chan decides.

“Wha- just like that?” Hyunjin yelps.

You giggle.

“Channie doesn’t fuck around with labels.”

“I don’t. Tell us what you want. Let’s get it all worked out right here.”

Hyunjin swallows and looks at you.

“What… would you call this?”

You blink in surprise then contemplate the question with a quiet hum.

“Well… Chan is my boyfriend, obviously… but I would even call him my soulmate if we’re getting specific with things. And I don’t see why I couldn’t use that word to describe you guys, too.”

“S-Soulmates,” Felix questions, “You really feel like we’re your soulmates?”

Your cheeks heat up and you nod shyly.

“W-Well… If that’s okay? I mean, I guess, to me a soulmate isn’t necessarily a romantic partner. They’re just… someone you need in your life. But I don’t see why we can’t be soulmates and lovers, you know? Or, soulmates and friends if that’s… better, like…”

You feel wetness fall on your cheeks and trail off as you wipe it away. Another drop, and you look up to see Hyunjin crying above you. Your eyes widen and you reach up instinctively, hand resting over his heart as he tries to muffle his sobs into his palm.

“Hyunjin, what’s wrong?”

Felix clambers up when he realizes what is going on, and Chan follows. This gives you the opportunity to sit up, and you slide into Hyunjin’s lap as Felix’s arms come around his shoulders. The position is awkward, but Chan pushes himself in as well. His arms come around Hyunjin’s waist, and Felix leans back just a bit so Hyunjin can tuck his chin over Chan’s shoulder. He cries openly, tears stream down his face before being wiped away by Felix’s delicate hands. Felix pecks his forehead as Chan rubs his back lovingly.

“I-I’m sorry, I-I don’t-” He chokes on his tears between words, “I don’t even believe Felix wants me sometimes. I-I just expected you two would get bored of me soon.”

Chan’s eyebrows pinch and he sighs softly before answering:

“I know what you mean, baby, but trust me: we’re never going to get bored of you. We love you.”

You pet Hyunjin’s hair and nod in agreement as he leans back to look at Chan.

“Y-Yeah?”

“Yes,” Chan exasperates, “Sweetheart, when I said you’re my world I meant it. I love you.”

“Oh,” Hyunjin laughs sadly, “Oh.”

“You’re so foolish, Jinnie,” You murmur as you kiss his cheek, “Silly boy. Thinking we don’t love you and Felix.”

Felix is still teary-eyed, and the tender kiss Chan presses to his cheek does not help.

“We didn’t want to get our hearts hurt,” Felix explains quietly.

“That breaks my heart,” Chan replies, “I don’t know how we could be anymore in love with you. Isn’t it obvious?”

“Except,” You cut in, “For actually putting a name to it.”

“Oh, whatever. I don’t look at anyone else but you three. I let you in bed with the love of my life. You should’ve gotten the hint.”

Hyunjin wipes his tears away and turns to you as you cup his jaw.

“Does that help, Hyunjinnie? Do you know your answer now?”

“Yes… I think we’re soulmates too, and I want us to all be together.”

You share a kiss and giggle when Felix butts his face into Hyunjin’s neck.

“What’s wrong, Lix?” Chan asks softly.

He raises his head, freckled face burning as your attention falls on him.

“I agree but… could we pick something a bit less intense for when we tell the guys? Like, partners, or lovers even?”

“You think ‘lovers’ is less intense?” Hyunjin questions.

“I don’t know…”

“I like it. Lovers is serious, but not as dramatic, and still a little soft,” You decide, “I also like the idea of calling you three my boyfriends.”

“Isn’t that a little… casual?” Hyunjin retorts.

“Calling someone your boyfriend is casual,” Chan remarks in disbelief, then looks at you, “Apparently we are not taking our relationship as seriously as we should be.”

You giggle and Hyunjin rolls his eyes.

“Th-That’s not what I meant… We’re just going to go from being close friends to suddenly… her boyfriends, and that seems like we’re not acknowledging the way our relationship has developed in private. I-I think we’re more serious about each other than… just dating… R-Right?”

“Again, dating is too casual now?”

You hit Chan lightly then turn your attention to Hyunjin and Felix.

“Why don’t we call each other whatever is most comfortable, and if the boys have questions we let them know that we’re taking it day-by-day. But yes, Hyune, we’re serious about this too.”

You make soft noise as Felix leans closer and guides you into a tender kiss. You accept easily, warming at how his hand slides around your waist and his bangs brush against your cheeks. He parts and grins at your blissed out smile.

“Sorry, lovely. I just felt the need to do that right now. Love you.”

“I love you too, Lix.”

Chan smiles, still looking tired, and lets you and Felix pepper chaste kisses to his cheeks.

“You need to rest, Channie?” You ask.

“Yeah, I do,” Chan looks at Hyunjin and gestures for him to hug him again, “Come here, baby.”

Hyunjin falls into his arms with a little sigh and lets Chan comfort him. Felix uses the moment to settle in a sitting position at the other end of the couch, and pats his stomach patiently. Chan takes Hyunjin with him as he falls between Felix’s legs, heads resting on his chest as the two continue sharing little pecks. You smile, throw a blanket over the three of them, then grab your own before curling up on top of your boyfriends’ legs. Chan and Hyunjin both reach down, Chan takes your hand and Hyunjin plays with your hair as you look up to admire them. Felix has one arm around Hyunjin’s shoulders and the other folded behind his head as he watches the two on top of him.

“Ugh, I just realized something,” You whisper.

“Mhm,” Is Chan’s half-conscious reply.

“What, babe,” Hyunjin inquires with Chan’s mouth smushed lazily against his lips.

“I’m going to have to share my sugar daddy.”

They all laugh and Felix answers:

“I like how you decided we would all be mooching off Chan, as opposed to you gaining two more sugar daddies.”

“Ooh wait, I like that better.”

Felix laughs, shaking Chan and Hyunjin with the force of it. Both are exhausted now, and as they succumb to sleep their kisses dissolve into slow brushes of their lips instead of actions with any force behind them. You smile at the way their noses brush, how one will slip back into consciousness enough to kiss the other and receive a delayed peck to reciprocate the action. You look up to meet Felix’s eyes as he mirrors your fond smile. He whispers, but Hyunjin still stirs slightly at the rumble of his voice.

“They fit so well together.”

You hum in agreement.

“Chan thinks the same thing about me and you.”

Felix chuckles.

“Must be true, then.”

Your smile widens as you regard your boyfriends’ one last time. Chan’s cheek is smushed into Felix’s chest, Hyunjin’s breathing has finally slowed, and Felix’s eyes flutter shut as he lets his head fall to the side. You close your eyes and nestle in to fall asleep with them.

The sudden sound of excited voices pulls you awake before the front door even opens. When someone, presumably Minho, manages to win the fight with his keys and push the door open the volume increases exponentially. You groggily sit up and look over the back of the couch, down the hall where you cannot see the others but their voices swim in and out of your hazy senses. You look down; Chan and Hyunjin are in the same position as earlier, asleep and sharing air with little space between their lips. Felix is rubbing the sleep from his eyes and stretching out his arm, no doubt cramped from being tucked under his head.

“You guys here?” Changbin calls out.

“We’re in here, Binnie,” You manage, voice straining from underuse, “We were sleeping.”

You can hear Jeongin and Jisung cackling down the hall, their voices the loudest among the others. You cannot make out what they are saying as they wander somewhere else in the house. Changbin enters the room, still wearing his black puffer jacket. He comes around the couch on Felix’s side and ruffles his hair.

“Cold, Bin?” Felix purrs, his voice deeper with sleep.

“Not really. You look cozy.”

You watch Changbin’s expression as he seems to register the scene before him. You yawn and sit up properly, and notice how Chan’s hands are barely clutching the front of Hyunjin’s pajama shirt. In return, Hyunjin has his arm draped around Chan’s body. Maybe you imagine it, but Changbin’s gaze seems to linger on the proximity of their parted lips before he wanders over to you. He pets your hair, no doubt tousled from sleep and your earlier escapades, and tilts your head up gently to face him.

“Tired, honey?”

You smile.

“A little. Did you guys have fun?”

Changbin nods and drops his hand.

“We walked down the shore, then we went into town and looked around until we found somewhere to hang out. There was a nice restaurant, so we went there and I.N and Han had a couple drinks. Then we walked around some more before we got back here.”

You giggle.

“No wonder they’re being so loud…”

“I can quiet them down for you.”

“No, it’s okay. We’ll wake Chan and Hyune up soon and go to bed.”

“Alright, you just let me know if you need anything, babe. I’m going to my room.”

He passes by Felix again and offers a gentle caress to his cheek.

“Goodnight, Yongbokkie.”

“G’night, Bin,” Felix yawns between farewells, “Sleep tight.”

You offer Changbin a small wave and watch him leave. Your attention piques as Seungmin shuffles in, still dressed in his slacks and a too-big flannel. He looks over the back of the couch with a blank expression.

“Did you have a good night, Min?” Felix asks.

“Mhm.”

He comes around the couch on your side and hesitates at the end. You tuck your legs up, careful not to disturb Chan or Hyunjin, and pat the space next to you.

“You can sit here, Min,” You offer softly.

He drops into the bit of space next to you and leans his head on your shoulder. You throw your blanket over the two of you and tidy his bangs where they have fallen in his eyes.

“Are you okay?”

“Tired…”

“I’m sorry you guys stayed out so long,” You sympathize, “You can sleep here for a while.”

Seungmin nods and nuzzles closer. You look at Felix, who smiles and lets his eyes fall shut. You turn your attention to the television, still playing whatever Hyunjin chose earlier to occupy the silence. Seungmin’s hand finds yours under the blanket and you lace your fingers together. You spend a few minutes watching the show, before your eyelids droop shut. Your head falls against Seungmin’s and he grunts softly, but does not move.

Your peace is interrupted shortly after when you hear poorly concealed giggling, and look over to see Jeongin and Jisung leaning on the back of the couch.

“Hey, you two,” You whisper, peering suspiciously at their troublesome grins, “What is it?”

They share a look and giggle some more before Jeongin answers, “We know what you did.”

You smirk and reply, “What?”

Jeongin laughs then stage whispers, “You had seeeex.”

They both erupt into laughter, startling both Seungmin and Hyunjin to alertness. Seungmin sighs and nuzzles his face into your shoulder as Hyunjin blearily sits up. Felix snickers and soothes Hyunjin gently as he collapses back on top of him with a groan. Chan is surprisingly dead to the world despite the increasing disturbance caused by Jisung and Jeongin.

“Is that all,” You mutter, unimpressed, “That’s what’s so funny.”

Felix chuckles as Jisung leans over the couch and taps Hyunjin’s arm.

“Hey Jinnie, hey Jinnie.”

“What?”

“Look look,” Hyunjin obliges and glares as Jisung insists, “Look.”

“I’m looking.”

Jisung makes a ‘v’ with his fingers and licks his tongue between them, making Jeongin howl at the gesture. Felix groans and Hyunjin slaps Jisung’s arm.

“Stop that, you freak!”

“Yeah? Am I right, though?”

Jisung looks at you and you cock your eyebrow up.

“You’re not wrong.”

Hyunjin covers his face and Felix laughs suddenly, as the boys become frenzied at your admission. Minho enters the room in his pajamas and frowns at Jisung and Jeongin’s shenanigans.

“Ji, are you coming to bed or not?”

“For the love of God,” Seungmin groans, “Please take him. He’s disturbing the peace.”

“Your face disturbs the peace,” Jisung shoots back.

“Wow. How will I ever recover from that one?”

You giggle then jump as Jeongin stumbles over and slaps his hands down on the couch behind you. You tilt your head back to face him, allowing Seungmin to hide his face better in the crook of your neck.

“Enjoying the cuddle pile, puppy?” The youngest teases.

Seungmin scoffs.

“Mind your business.”

“You know,” Jisung teases, “Maybe if you ask nicely, one of them will suck-”

Minho cuffs the back of Jisung’s head before he can finish the sentence, which makes him fall to the floor with a shout. Chan finally awakens and takes in the scene before him: Hyunjin hiding his face in Felix’s chest, you and Seungmin cuddling at his feet, Minho lifting an indignant Jisung off the floor, and Jeongin grinning over it all. Minho successfully hauls his boyfriend to his feet then begins herding him out of the room, patting his bottom along the way.

“Miiiin, that huuurt!”

“You know what else hurts? The consequences of your actions. Stop running your mouth before you regret it.”

Jisung continues to complain as they leave down the hall. Jeongin leans over Seungmin’s shoulder and smirks as he refuses to leave your neck.

“Fuck off.”

“I’m not doing anything,” Jeongin whines.

You reach up and gently shove him away.

“Leave Min alone. Go to bed, drunkard.”

“I don’t want to…”

“Too late,” Chan grumbles, half-asleep, “Leader’s orders. Go to bed.”

Jeongin pouts and makes a point of poking your forehead before leaving.

“Hey! Brat!”

“And drink some water!” Chan yells after him.

“Alright, dad!”

You giggle as Chan eases himself up and scratches his neck. He pats beside him aimlessly and ends up touching Hyunjin’s hip. Hyunjin looks up at his touch, face still flushed with embarrassment. Felix yawns and begins sitting up.

“I think we should go to bed, yeah?”

You pat Seungmin’s chest gently, fingers still curled together under the blanket.

“You sure you’re okay, Minnie?”

He nods.

“Don’t feel great.”

“Were you drinking?” Hyunjin asks.

He shakes his head. Chan rises and brushes Seungmin’s bangs back to press the back of his hand to his forehead. Seungmin flinches then relaxes as Chan ruffles his hair.

“You’re a little warm. Come here.”

You and Seungmin pull apart as Chan leads his arms around his shoulders. He slips the younger member into his arms bridal-style and carries his limp body off to his room.

“Poor, Min,” You murmur.

“I think he’s just tired,” Hyunjin assures.

Felix nods in agreement then says, “I’ll check on him later. He’ll be okay.”

“We should go to bed, love,” Hyunjin suggests as he stands.

You nod then pause to contemplate. Felix leans forward to lightly pinch your cheek, and smirks at your startled expression.

“What are you thinking about, babe?”

“Well- is our bed bigger, or is yours?”

Felix’s smile intensifies and he closes the distance to give you an eager kiss.

“Mhm!”

“S’cute,” He murmurs as he moves into your lap, “My cute baby. Can’t get enough of you.”

You squeal in delight as you and Felix fall down together on the couch.

“You two,” Hyunjin exasperates, “Someone’s going to see you.”

Felix turns his head to look at your, plural, boyfriend.

“Isn’t that the point? So they know she’s mine?”

“Oh,” Chan remarks as he returns to the room, “She’s yours now, is she?”

Felix blushes and smirks down at you.

“Yeah. Right now she is.”

You hum and bump your nose against his shyly.

“I’ll be yours, Lixie. Anytime.”

“How about all night?”

You blush and giggle in response, mind going to putty at his flirtatious gaze.

“I want to sleep tonight,” Hyunjin huffs.

“And I don’t think you can keep it up all night, frankly,” Chan jabs.

“Don’t call me ‘frankly’, my name is Felix.”

The ridiculous joke shocks a laugh out of you and you quickly become breathless as Hyunjin groans and stomps away.

“I’m done.”

“Babe, please! Come back!” Felix pleads.

Chan stands, still and silent as he watches Felix with an intensely disappointed glare. You are still laughing when Hyunjin stomps back.

“You’re lucky you’re cute.”

Felix winks then helps you sit up.

“It wasn’t that funny,” Chan chastises.

“It wasn’t funny at all,” You reply breathlessly, “That’s what makes it hilarious.”

Felix purses his lips.

“It was a little funny…”

Chan leans over the couch and pecks Felix’s cheek.

“Come on. Let’s head to bed, Frankly.”

“Don’t you start,” Hyunjin sighs.

The two stand together, waiting for you and Felix to untangle from each other and stand up from the couch. You all walk to yours and Chan’s bedroom, sharing light touches and warm smiles along the way. When you enter the room, Hyunjin dives onto the bed and yelps when Chan falls on top of him. You laugh and follow Felix as he takes a seat on the bed and leads you to sit in his lap. You gasp as he rolls over, pinning you between him and Hyunjin as he nuzzles his face into your chest.

“Felix…”

He chuckles and looks up with dazzling eyes.

“Yes, lovely?”

“I love you.”

“Oh, I love you too, baby.”

Hyunjin turns to tuck his face into your shoulder and pull your arm over his hip. You laugh and give his bottom a loving pat as Chan squeezes himself into the space under your arm and uses your shoulder to rest his head.

“I love both of you too,” You whisper.

“M’love you too, beautiful,” Chan replies, his face squishing with force as rubs it into his own sweater.

Hyunjin throws an arm over Chan’s shoulders and Felix links their fingers together where they rest between your bodies.

“We love you too,” Hyunjin says, “Both of you. So much.”

Felix hums and sleepily pulls the blanket over all of you, before you drift off to sleep.

#stray kids fanfic #stray kids x reader #stray kids x y/n #skz x reader #skz fanfic #skz x y/n #skz x you #skz smut #skz reader insert #poly stray kids #poly skz #bangchan x reader #felix x reader #hyunjin x reader #bangchan x reader x felix x hyunjin #hyunlix #hyunchanlix #hyunchanlix x reader #background minsung

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nottswitch · 5 months

Text

london boy

am I in my lover era? probably, but am I ashamed? no, not really. but just a warning, I won't even try to commit to posting this often. literally just a burst of inspiration (and taylor swift).

london boy by taylor swift as inspiration sirius x muggle!reader warning: prolly nothing, it's just fluff wc: 2,2k

From your very childhood up to your late teens your parents really liked bringing you to London with them from time to time. It was a truly beautiful city to be a tourist in. You’d been there so often that you felt like some sort of an expert. You could recite the history of any major landmark, just point at, say, the Tower, and one could hear a whole lecture from you about the fortress, the prison, the ravens, all the good stuff. You got cocky at times, thinking you could easily become a tour guide. Your friends back in your hometown rolled their eyes every time you even mentioned London, and the level of your excitement grew every single day throughout the month before you finally moved there.

Turned out, London wasn’t so great to live in. At least that’s what you thought on your first day, when you paid thrice the price you expected to pay for the cab taking you from the airport to the hotel. Then, the hunt for a rental began. The hotel started to get expensive day by day and soon enough you really lost your spirits. You didn’t have enough money to pay for a room and a real estate agent, so you resorted to looking through tons and tons of newspapers, hoping that an advertisement of a one-bedroom would at some point catch your eye. It wasn’t working as well as you expected, so one gloomy rainy afternoon you found yourself just walking through a random neighbourhood looking at houses and thinking that cooking some hot soup on your own stove sounded really nice at the moment. You realized that your exterior was pretty miserable for someone who couldn’t hold in an excited shriek right after buying a ticket to London last month. As if to confirm your assumptions, a sudden laughter disrupted the cacophony of raindrops hitting the ground and wind howling between the branches of nearby trees.

Oh, god.

“You aren’t from ‘round here, right?”

A motorcycle rolled from behind you along the roadway. You continued on your way, thinking it was just some creep who noticed your vulnerable state and decided to, well, be a creep.

“Hey, hey, ma’am, you don’t have an umbrella and I do. Pretty sure I win.”

“Ma’am? Really?”

You stopped at last to see who had the audacity to just ride up to you like you were their longtime friend.

“Bet that’s what you think us Brits talk like, foreign girl.”

The rider took off his helmet and you saw what was probably the best sight you had a pleasure to witness in the entirety of London. The young man was truly divine: his dark hair barely reached his shoulders and was a bit messy from the helmet; he had a stubble that was too short to be called a beard yet, but it was getting there; when he smiled, you could see small dimples forming on his cheeks. You felt stupid staring at him like that but couldn’t help it at all. With his stunning looks, the obvious accent you immediately took notice of sounded even more charming.

“Alright, not a talker, I see.”

The man stood up from his vehicle, pulled out a kickstand so that it wouldn’t just roll down the street and walked up to you, pulling up the collar of his leather jacket to shield his face from the rain.

“You said you had an umbrella.”

Kind of stupid of you to say, but you couldn’t really make up anything else that wouldn’t give out your infatuation.

“Just like that, huh? Could at least ask my name, you know.”

He didn’t wait for your response, holding his hand out to you.

“Sirius.”

You shook his hand, although yours was already pretty numb from the cold, and introduced yourself as well. You had to say something at that point because you started to look weirder and weirder by the second.

“That’s… an interesting name.”

Oh, come on. This is all you have?

“Bit rude, darling. What did you think it was?”

“Like… Matthew?”

The man laughed, just like you heard him laughing minutes ago. He wasn’t taunting you, no, on the contrary – he was rather amused by your mild naivety.

“Oh shit, do I look like a Matthew? I’m gutted, I have to say.”

You couldn’t help chuckling at his words. The rain didn’t feel so bad anymore, now that you had someone to share it with.

“Hop on. I have to get you to a pub, or else you’ll turn into a bloody icicle.”

He helped you get on his bike and soon you were riding straight through the streets of London with your hands wrapped around Sirius’ body. You felt it was a wee bit inappropriate for someone you met, like, five minutes ago, but you couldn’t say you didn’t like it. What is more, you expected raindrops to become some small annoying mosquitoes who would relentlessly bite your face during the ride but surprisingly, it didn’t happen. It almost felt like you actually had an invisible umbrella above you, because you glanced at a sleeve of your coat and it had become much drier than it was before.

The pub Sirius took you to looked like one of those places you saw on TV when the setting was supposed to be the UK. Lots of wooden furniture around, lightbulbs hanging from the ceiling and emitting warm and rather dim light. In the corner you saw an old record player with a small TV on top of it. You saw it as a symbol of modernity overtaking the old school, which epitomized London itself, but decided not to voice your thoughts in order not to appear as a nerd.

“Fancy a beer?” Sirius asked, leading you to a large counter.

In your mind you would much prefer some tea to warm yourself up, but the stranger was already too kind for you to make any extra demands of him. So, you just nodded and let him have free reign over the type of beer for you.

“We come here with my mates sometimes,” Sirius explained, having made an order while you made yourself comfortable on a bar stool.

“That’s nice.” You felt a bit awkward and out of place, but Sirius didn’t seem like the shady type, so you felt more comfortable with him than you would have likely felt with anyone else. “Do you watch rugby here?” You gestured towards the TV.

“I mean, if it’s on…” Sirius tried but failed to hide a chuckle. “That’s what the rest of the world thinks of us English lads, huh? That we hang at pubs and watch rugby all day?”

“To be fair, you took me to a pub.” You felt slightly embarrassed but attempted not to show it.

“That much’s true.”

You took a small sip out of a glass mug of beer placed in front of you. It wasn’t that bad, to be honest – a bit too bitter for your personal taste, but you could see yourself finishing the whole thing.

“Is this a British thing, beer in the afternoon?” you asked, looking at a huge grandfather clock behind the bar and remembering that it was, in fact, only midday.

“I guess, but I’ve always thought of it as a me thing.”

You held your mug in front of your face so that Sirius wouldn’t notice a huge smile forming on your face. You found everything about him irresistibly attractive – his voice, his mannerisms, his whole presence was alluring in a very authentic kind of way. It was obvious that in front of you he wasn’t pretending, he was just being himself.

“How did you know I wasn’t from here?” You finally had the courage to ask the question that had been pestering you for a while.

“Oh, it’s obvious,” Sirius replied, taking a swig of his beer. “You can always tell, it’s just how us Londoners are wired.”

You couldn’t really retort.

“Are you on holiday, or…?” Sirius went silent, letting you fill in the gap.

“I moved here a week ago,” you explained, feeling a very annoyed expression taking over your face. “Been trying to find an apartment but no luck so far.”

Sirius frowned a bit, thinking about something.

“I reckon I could help you, darling,” he finally told you with a playful smirk on his face. “I’d have to ask you for something in return though.”

“Oh, sure, I’ll pay!”

And you were ready to, because you had heard from someone that word of mouth was actually the best way to find an apartment on a budget these days. It’s just that you didn’t have this mouth before.

Sirius just grinned in response.

“Hey, that’s on me.”

He stopped your hand as it was reaching into your purse to take out your wallet and pay for your beer.

“Really?”

“Well, I dragged you here, so it’s only fair.”

Afterwards you stepped out of the pub to see daylight again. Fortunately, you discovered that it stopped raining and the sky was of a much lighter gray than before. Sirius caught up to you and stretched out his arm, wrapping it around your shoulder. You didn’t mind at all but were still quite stunned because, well, a teenager in you woke up and started internally screaming from this handsome stranger’s closeness.

“A nice weather we have here, darling. Which is super convenient as I don’t prefer driving drunk.”

Sirius looked like someone who would gladly drive drunk, you thought, but instead simply asked about the bike.

“A friend will take it,” he gave you a rather nonchalant reply, already headed somewhere to your left, with your hand now in his. “Come on, London doesn’t wait.”

“What if I have plans?” you tried to retort but your feet still carried you after Sirius and you weren’t going to stop them.

“Really? You just moved here, can’t find a flat and you have plans? Don’t believe it.” Sirius didn’t leave any room for objections as he was absolutely right. “Come o-o-on, darling, I know you want it.”

And for god’s sake, you did.

—

“So… Is this the part of the day when we say goodbye?”

All of a sudden you felt a wave of sadness coming over you. This day turned out to be truly magical and the last thing you wished for was for it to end. Sirius showed you everything, and you meant everything. He had his ways around the city that you would never even think to take, but they worked wonders, almost like some kind of portals transporting you from one place to another (but of course, it was just Sirius). Soon you could take pride in having explored pretty much all the central boroughs from inside and out. You, once again, had a very tourist-y experience of eating fish and chips in Hyde Park, and Sirius showed you an amazing little Chinese place where you promptly had dinner. You couldn’t have been thankful enough when he told you he would take it upon himself to look for an apartment – sorry, a flat – for you, but when you tried to give him some cash, he adamantly refused, so you were left wondering what he meant when he said he would ask for something in return. But most of all, you couldn’t really understand why he would do anything for you at all.

“I guess it is…” you mumbled, wishing with your whole heart you were wrong. But it was late, the sun hid behind the horizon hours ago and your eyes became increasingly more and more itchy.

“Well, we’re meeting tomorrow, so… Not so bad, huh?”

Sirius didn’t seem tired in the slightest, so you decided to just fire away and ask the question that had been swirling in your mind for the whole day.

“Why are you doing all this?”

“What do you mean?” Sirius raised his eyebrow and, judging by the look on his face, thought you were making a joke.

“I mean, you saw me on the street and just… took me under your wing, I guess. I wouldn’t have all this experience without you, London boy. And this apartment thing… It’s too generous. You don’t have to.”

“I know I don’t have to.” Sirius had the widest smile on his face. It was captivating and you didn’t even notice how you started smiling yourself. “But I want to, that’s it, darling. I really, really want to.”

His hands kept yours warm while he spoke. You had a sudden urge to do something you might or might not have regretted in the future. You stepped closer to Sirius, getting up on your toes and pecking his cheek ever so slightly, as if you were afraid to scare him away. Then you leaned away, staring at his face with worry in your eyes. Sirius slowly ran his fingers along his skin, where your lips just were, like he couldn’t believe what happened. Then, much to your surprise, he got closer and before you could realize it, your lips met his. They were a bit chapped, but the pleasure they brought you couldn’t have possibly belonged on planet Earth.

“I fancy you, foreign girl.”

Sirius pulled back and looked deep into your eyes. His gaze was so tender that you understood that from now on, London wouldn’t be such a bad place to live.

my masterlist

#— witch’s works ☾#sirius black x reader #sirius black x fem!reader #sirius black x y/n #sirius black x you #sirius black fanfiction #sirius black imagine #the marauders #the marauders era

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leona-hawthorne · 4 months

Text

I HATE IT HERE / mattheo riddle

drabble

mattheo riddle x fem reader

summary: in which mattheo is an artist in a businessman’s world… inspired by ‘i hate it here’ by taylor swift!

warnings: swearing

words: 905

a/n: the tortured poets department is really just on repeat 24/7. dare i say… her saddest album? anyways, i love the headcanon that mattheo loves to draw so i thought this would be sweet <3

navigation mattheo riddle masterlist

Overhearing crunchy footsteps walking through the fallen autumn leaves, Mattheo snaps his sketchbook shut in fear that some random person would accidentally see his innermost thoughts. He’d been drawing by the Black Lake like he usually did when the voices in his head got too loud. Normally, no one else came out here to bother him, but it appeared that today was unlucky.

“Mattheo?” Oh, it was you who was coming to bother him. Guess his day wasn’t so unlucky, after all.

Taking a seat beside him with your back resting against the large tree behind you, you turn your head to look at him and place a kiss on his cheek.

“Did you just get bored or did something happen that made you feel the need to come out here?” You ask, looking down to watch as he mindlessly intertwines your fingers with his.

“How’d you even know I was here?”

“Answer my question.”

”Fine. Both.” He answers, his voice sounding strained as if he’d had the most tiring day of his life.

“You know I’m here to listen, right?” Trying to add to the reassurance, you give his hand a little squeeze. He sighs.

“I don’t wanna burden you. You’re always listening to my fucking problems.”

You can almost physically feel your heart clench at his words. Your sweet boy could never be a burden to you and frankly, it hurt to know that he thought of himself in that way.

“Talk to me.” Your tone is soft but there's something in your voice that makes it clear you aren’t leaving until he tells you everything.

“I just had a really fucking bad day.” He admits in a dismissive voice, as if it’s no big deal, like you shouldn’t worry about him. “And when I was in Potions, some people started talking about what they’re gonna do after they graduate.”

Your brows furrow and you nod in understanding as you let that sink in. It’s never been a secret that Mattheo didn’t exactly know what he was going to do after school ended, but you didn’t realize how badly that fact got to his head.

“That bothered you?” The answer to that question is obvious but still, there was an underlying need to ask it.

“Yes!” He snaps, his eyes burning with uncertainty and he takes a breath to calm himself before continuing. “It was all ‘I’m gonna be a Ministry worker,’ or ‘I’m gonna be an auror,’ or ‘teacher’ or whatever and I just… God, Y/n, I don’t know what I’m going to do.”

You wanted nothing more than to help him, but you simply couldn’t. It’s not like anything you could say would miraculously make him realize what he wants to do for the rest of his life.

“Everything is so… dull and monochromatic. I don’t want to live in a world where I work 9 to 5 everyday in a cubicle. I just…. I hate it here.”

The mere possibility of living such a tight scheduled, boring, small life suffocated him every minute of everyday. He wanted more. He wanted to see the world, he wanted to be creative, he wanted to bring his dreams to fruition. He refused to become part of the system.

He was an artist at heart. Not many people knew that about him, but you did. He was lucky enough to be born with the ability to extract inspiration from anything in his sights. You, his friends, a song, an animal, architecture. Shit, even a random stranger he meets on the street could get the gears in his beautifully intricate mind to start turning.

Mattheo couldn't go ten minutes without feeling the urge to dump his thoughts onto a blank canvas. Talking wasn’t enough, he needed to create, he needed to use his hands.

His innovation is one of his best traits, one of your favorite things about him, and the idea of him ever giving it up was truly devastating. Taking a good while to think of what to say, you fidget around with his fingers in your hand.

“There’s so much out there, Mattheo. You don't need to conform to what the world wants you to do. I mean come on, you’ve never been one to follow the rules anyway.” You tell him.

“What am I gonna do?” He murmurs as he looks out at the lake, his voice filled with a deep sense of yearning.

“I don’t know. But I’ll be here to help you figure it out. I’ll be here with you for the rest of your life, if you’ll have me.” You whisper as he leans his head on your shoulder, his curls tickling the crook of your neck.

He scoffs, tightening his grip on your hand and snuggling his head deeper into your neck. “Are you stupid? Why would that even be a question? No dreams are worth living out if you’re not in them.”

“Good. ‘Cause you’re not getting rid of me.” You lean your head onto his. “I hate it here too but… It’s not so bad when you’re with me. Can I see what you were drawing?”

With an embarrassed blush flushing his cheeks, he hands you his sketchbook and you open up to the most recent page to find an extremely detailed illustration of… you.

Quick, quick

Tell me something awful

Like you are a poet

Trapped inside the body of a finance guy…

— Taylor Swift

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seeingivy · 1 year

Text

funeral

actor!eren x f!reader

**part of my method acting fic

content: depictions of grief, talk of addiction/anxiety

an: i am alive (mostly). eat your cake, even though I think it Is bad (this chapter was the hardest to write, right next to the "the third act" chapter

songs mentioned: marjorie by taylor swift

previous part linked here

“What are you thinking, Eren?” Hange asks.

The question is stupid. Eren is thinking of the only logical conclusion that he can draw from the autopsy report. The implication of it, of how Marco really died, is sitting right in front of him.

The patient is a twenty-three year old Caucasian male with no significant medical history. Emergency services responded to the scene of a motor vehicle crash around nine p.m. At the scene, responders found that the patient was trapped in the vehicle, upturned on the side of the road, with no pulse at the time of arrival. Patient was declared dead on scene. Autopsy concluded that primary cause of death was asphyxiation, secondary cause being severe loss of blood due to injuries in the extremities.

“I’m thinking that the paparazzi killed him, Hange.” Eren spits.

“Eren.”

“Hange, don’t. Just-” Levi mutters, pinching the bridge of his nose.

Levi’s eyes are borderline gaunt. Eren knows the past few days have sat horribly on Levi’s shoulders and perhaps the past year and a half have too.

The guilt is excruciating. Because all Eren knows how to do is ruin people.

He dragged Levi and Hange into his mess, when he asked them for help. But it had gone too far at that point, the interview, the night on the beach, the fight - he had exhausted all ends and desperately needed someone on his side.

Levi and Hange all but berated him for it. For letting it get so far, for waiting so long when he should have known that they were always there to help. But this reaction, Levi being the one to side with his outburst is proof enough that he made the wrong choice, that he should have stuck with himself. That them bending backwards and forwards to get him out of his mess has truly taken its toll.

Levi and Hange always mimicked him and you. Eren and Hange, he knows they both have a tendency to get so lost in the emotion, to feel it so deep that the response is too loud, too much for what’s called for. That’s when you and Levi would come in, to soothe them down and bring them back to Earth.

In the same vein, you and Levi, you planted your weeds too deep into the ground. Rooted in exactly what he’s not quite sure - perhaps misplaced insecurities, whatever the two of you seemed to hide in those deep inner walls - but it kept you both stagnant, stuck where you were. That’s where Hange and Eren came in, pushing you both to soar a little bit higher than what you imagined for yourself.

But now Levi’s here, all but exhausted and broken, the same way he’s sure you were. That’s why things got so fucked up. Eren didn’t let you pull him down. He didn’t pull you up.

“They killed him, Hange.” Levi states, tone void of any emotion.

“Levi. It’s almost midnight, we’re all feeling emotional right now. We should look at this all with a clear mind tomorrow.”

“They killed him. There is nothing to look at.” Levi says, enunciating every inflection of his words.

Eren knows it for a fact. And from the look on Hange’s face, he knows they do too. His train of thought is cut off by the knocking - rapid, loud consecutive knocks slamming against the wood.

“God, Eren. Go get it now before they run off with our food.” Hange murmurs, gesturing towards the door.

Eren shuffles past the length of the hallway and swings open the door to find not his UberEats bag, but Lana, out of breath and panting on his doorstep.

“Ew. You just left two hours ago. Why are you back already?”

“Eren. Oh my god.”

Lana wraps her arms around him, squeezing hard, as she cries into his shoulder. Her demeanor settles an immediate panic under his skin. The last time she reacted like this, Eren had to watch the most gut wrenching interview of his life while she held his hand. God knows whatever she’s about to tell him now is going to break him.

Eren brings his hands up and grabs her shoulders, applying pressure to stop her from shaking in his arms.

“Lana. What’s wrong with you? Why are you-”

“Eren. I’m so sorry, you- I’m here for you, okay? Whatever you need, just-just say it.” she pants, hiccuping in between her tears.

Eren frowns, wrapping his arm around her shoulder and pulling her out of the cold Seattle air into the kitchen where Hange and Levi are cooking by the stove.

“Hi Lana Bear! How are you, kid?” Hange says, all but bouncing over to wrap their arms around Lana.

This only upsets Lana more, the discomfort worsening in Eren’s chest as he can’t help but stare at her, at her brown eyes turning almost red from the downpour of her tears and the tension sitting in her shoulders.

“What is it? Who died?”

The question, when Eren asks it, is entirely rhetorical. A figure of speech, meant to emphasize that Lana’s reaction was extreme, too obscene for whatever it is she must be talking about. But when she doesn’t respond and swallows hard, the look on her face so crestfallen, Eren’s chest settles into a panic.

His first thought is you.

“Lana. Is she dead? What are you-”

Lana scrambles for the remote on the counter, switching from the Disney Channel to the first news report she can find. The image is of an overturned car, the metal crushed and steaming in the front, accompanied with words that burn Eren’s ears. The first hit is relief - that it’s not you. The second hit is painful, like the air’s been sucked out of his lungs.

Because it’s Marco.

“What?” Levi says, taking his eyes off the stove to glance at the screen.

Eren can feel his phone incessantly buzzing in his pocket and he reaches for it immediately, Lana leaning into his side as she continues to cry into his shoulder. Levi and Hange are moving closer to the television, like that’ll somehow make the sound better, the image clearer, like they’ll be able to find falsity in it.

jean: the bodt’s said the funeral is going to be near the old house. ask levi and hange if we can all stay in the townhouse together.

bertholdt: reiner and i are heading over tonight.

sukuna: Let me know if you need anything. Give the paparazzi hell for this one.

connie: i’m coming back to seattle. i-i don’t know if i can do this.

Eren’s quick to respond to that one.

eren: i’ve got you man. meet us in new york as soon as you can, we’re all going to stay at the townhouse. don’t leave sasha’s side until you get there okay?

connie: alright. okay, thanks.

eren: phone is on.

“This is bullshit. How do they know it’s him?” Levi says angrily, hands crossed over his chest.

“Levi.” Hange says, voice nearly cracking.

“No, I’m being fucking serious. How do they know that this guy is our Marco? There’s no proof. Call the Bodt’s right now.” Levi says, pacing the kitchen for where he left his phone.

Eren frowns, his head racing as Levi walks the length of the kitchen and Hange settles into their immediate panic.

“Eren.” Lana says.

“Hm?”

“I have to tell you something. You’re going to hate it. I-”

“Just tell me, Lana. No-no beating around the bush.”

“The paparazzi…got to him first before the police.” she whispers.

“What?” Eren says, through gritted teeth as his head all but short circuits.

“They knew it was his car, he’d been driving it around that part of Nashville for a while. They were probably just following him to get pictures wherever he was going. But then he-he crashed and-”

“And what? They took pictures of it? Of him?” Eren asks, squeezing Lana’s shoulders too hard.

“Yeah. They-they only called the police when they were done, Eren. I-”

The tears fill Eren’s eyes as the implication cuts deep. It all but sears the air in his lungs, the tears welling so fast that it’s already obstructing his vision. All he can feel is Lana’s hands, squeezing his biceps, as he tries to control the heaving in his chest.

“How long?”

“Eren.” she says, tone so pitiful it makes his blood boil.

“How long, Lana?” he asks, voice cracking.

“It took them forty-five minutes to get there. They would have been there in fifteen.” she whispers.

And now, the autopsy report tells him enough. With a definitive resolve that the paparazzi killed Marco. Because he died from asphyxiation, from being twisted in the metal, not getting any air. And if the police had gotten there maybe a moment earlier, a second faster, they could have gotten him out, could have at least made sure he was breathing.

They wanted a picture. Marco died for it.

The anger surges through Eren, tenfold when he remembers the paparazzi lining up Jean and Mikasa’s engagement party, Falco’s school, his house the day his grandpa died. When you walked into his garage, drenched from the rain with a deep cut on your face and skidded knees, scared to death.

“I’m done sugarcoating, Hange. Eren is right. They killed Marco.” Levi responds.

Hange sighs, leaning against the counter as Eren walks up to them, resting his head against their shoulder. They all stand there in silence, not even seventy-two hours after the fact, and it still hasn’t hit Eren.

In full flesh, that Marco is gone.

The rapid knocking on the door, real this time, breaks him out of his thoughts.

“Probably Zeke or Armin. I’ve got it.” he murmurs.

“Thanks kid.”

Eren watches as Levi sinks into Hange’s arms, sighing as he shuffles to the door and flicks on the porch light. He swings it open and immediately feels his throat tighten, fully constricted, at the sight of you standing in the lamplight.

You’re looking up at him, swallowing hard, as you stare into his eyes and all Eren can do is wonder if your brain is short circuiting as much as his is. Surely, it isn’t. Eren has every reason to be embarrassed, to be ashamed. And you don’t.

For posterity, he fights all instincts, every urge in his body, to reach forward and hold you. To let your sweet flowery smell take over his nose, to settle his face into that crook in your neck, to have your soft, soft touch running over his skin. To let the mountain of emotions he’s been carrying fall, because you’re here.

But he can’t.

“Hi Eren.”

“Y/N.”

He can’t help but inspect every micro-movement, every gesture you make. Your eyes are nearly glassing over with tears and you’re nervously fidgeting with your fingers. You’ve dropped your gaze to focus on the ground, a habit you always had when you were sad, as your voice breaks into the air.

“Can I ask you something? Please?” you whisper.

He reaches forward, hands on your shoulders, squeezing once and praying to god you remember what it means, as he nods.

That he’s here and he’s got you.

“Anything. What is it?”

“Is he dead?”

Maybe not anything.

He can’t be the one to tell you. You of all people that Marco died, at the hands of the paparazzi. The same paparazzi who in your very pointed words, gutted your first love like a fish. Who were partly to blame, who drove you out of here alongside him.

“Y/N.”

“Is he?” you repeat, voice smaller.

“Okay. Let’s go inside, you-”

“Is Marco dead, Eren? I’m asking you a question.”

Your anger in your voice is enough to make him stop in his tracks, the second time your voice is laced with that animosity that it scares him into responding. He hears it, in his worst hours, echoing in his mind.

How many times are you going to keep breaking shit without any care in the world? The camera, the fucking award you picked over me, Connie’s fucking livelihood, my heart. God, Eren. All you’ve ever cared about is yourself. From the start.

He swallows hard.

“Yes. Marco’s dead.”

And you don’t even know the half of it.

He watches your glass tears, the ones sitting right on the edge of your eyelashes, fall in full force, onto your cheeks as you immediately start hiccuping, hands clasped against your chest.

“I-I saw it on the news. I-I didn’t believe it but I- They always lie about stuff. I thought it was the same as that and-”

“Y/N, come ins-”

Your panic sets in so fast, so quick that Eren doesn’t even register it. Because one second you’re panting and the next Eren’s watching you retch onto the grass Connie mowed this morning. Eren pushes you into the house the second you stop, straight to the kitchen where Levi and Hange are still standing in their spots.

“Wait, is that-”

“Do you guys know if we have something like…anti-nausea? Is that what you do when someone throws up or-” Eren asks.

“Is that Y/N?” Levi asks.

“Yeah, she-she was on the porch, I-”

Levi’s quick to walk up, hands on your shoulders as he talks, voice quiet and calm when he speaks near your ear. Hange moves to Eren’s side, her face wearing that concerned look she gives him too much these days, as they both rummage through the cabinets for anything that could help.

“Y/N. You okay?” Levi asks.

“I-I threw up on the-the porch. On the g-grass. So-sorry.”

“It’s just grass. What’s-”

Eren tries to still it - that pounding in his heart - as he walks over with the glass of water he filled up for you. Your hands must be wobbling too much because Eren doesn’t let the glass go, instead tilting your head up softly with his hands and pouring the water into your mouth.

“Hey. Drink some more for me.” Eren states, voice soft as he instinctively reaches forward to fix the hairs sticking to the sweat beading your forehead, feeling your skin burning under his touch.

“We should take her temperature.” Eren says.

Levi and Hange dart out of the room, to the drawer upstairs where the thermometer is, as Eren takes breaks between helping you drink the water and rubbing circles into your back.

Eren can feel every muscle in his body tense, his skin burning when you lean forward, forehead resting against his chest as you groan out in pain.

“Hey. You with me?” Eren asks, murmuring straight into your hair.

Eren feels your breathing still against him, his hands intuitively wrapping around you this time, cradling the back of your head in his hands. You hum in response to his question, which is a good enough answer for Eren now.

“Found it.” Levi says, all but speed walking as Eren spins you around, watching as Levi meticulously pushes your sweaty hair out of your face and holds the sensor against your head. You’re all standing there in silence, craning over the little plastic as the two consecutive beeps go off.

“98.6. You’re okay, Y/N.” Levi mutters, setting the thermometer back on the table.

“Thank you, Levi.” you respond back, rubbing your arms on your biceps as you stare at the two of them, withdrawn and withholding from you.

Granted, you’d do the same. You wouldn’t rush to their arms either if they ignored you for two years.

“You can take this for nausea. If it happens again.” Hange says, placing a bottle in your hands.

“Sure. Thank you, Hange.” you respond.

The silence hangs in the air between the four of you as you stand there, each of you racking your heads for the right thing to say. Eren wants to tell Levi and Hange to stop being so rude, that they were the ones who were begging you to come back and now that you’re here they won’t even talk to you. Levi and Hange are debating which one of them should yell at you first, for being withdrawn from them and not asking for help the way Eren did. And you’re figuring out who you should apologize to first, between the three of them.

None of you break. Because it’s not the right time. Because Marco is dead.

“Everyone is sleeping together upstairs. There should be an extra air mattress up there, Eren will get it for you….knock if you need something.” Levi says, tone exasperated as he shuffles away.

“Welcome back, kid.”

Hange gives you a full smile as they follow him, leaving you and Eren in the kitchen. The distance Levi is putting in between you and him stings, but you swallow the burn and remind yourself that you’re the one who inflicted it on yourself.

At the time, after the interview, the rationale made more sense. Nonsensically, you decided that you were done with the industry and that, by proxy, meant that you were done with them too. You did your interview and stuck to your word, never looked back.

It’s humiliating now. Debilitating thinking about how much you must have hurt them. Because each of them, they continually reached out until it stopped. Mikasa made every effort to have you come to her engagement party, that she would even stop the press from coming for Vogue the way they had planned for you.

And when you didn’t show, all she did was send you pictures, of her and Jean cutting the cake and of the dress she had bought for you to wear. Hange and Levi were so vigilant about it, on making sure that you were okay, that you had security details, that people really were leaving you alone. You didn’t heed any of their efforts, because for all intents and purposes, you were leaving the girl you were behind.

Her dreams, the love she held, the friends she had.

It seems stupid now. It seems incredibly and gut-wrenchingly stupid that your last words to Marco were over two years ago because you were punishing him for something that wasn’t his fault. That you can’t go to any of them for comfort because the thing that they need comfort from is you.

All you know how to do is ruin people.

“Are you hungry? Or do you want to go to bed?” Eren asks.

“I can go to bed. Levi said air mattress?”

“Yeah, we’re all sleeping together in the loft upstairs.”

“We?” you ask.

“Mikasa and Jean are here. Ymir and Hisu, Bertholdt and Reiner, Connie and Sash. Everyone else should be getting in tomorrow.”

Eren pads towards the stairs and you awkwardly follow, crawling up the stairs behind him. You can hear the loud chatter of voices, talking over each other, as you try to catch the ends of their conversation.

“But where do they go when you pee?” Sasha asks.

“Fuck do you mean, where do they go?” Reiner says, voice incredulous.

“Like in the bowl? Because if you’re sitting on the toilet, they have to go somewhere?” Sasha repeats.

“Sasha. It’s almost one in the morning. Please stop talking about balls.” Ymir groans, earning a good amount of laughs from the group.

“Eren, tell them all to shut the fuck up.” Jean groans, forearm over his eyes as he and Mikasa roll around on their mattress.

Eren looks at you, eyes weary, before he turns to respond to them.

“Y/N’s here.”

They all peek their heads up, curious eyes falling on you, as you give them a halfhearted smile, trying your best to wipe your sweaty palms on the back of your dress.

“Hi guys.”

The silence is deafening. You can’t pick what’s worse - Reiner and Bertholdt squinting their eyes at you or Mikasa and Jean refusing to look at you.

Mikasa and Jean.

Historia stands up, strutting over from her air mattress, to wrap her arms around you, the pressure of the hug so hard you can barely breathe. You breathe in her smell, spicy and sharp the way it’s always been, as she pulls away. Her warm hand is resting on your cheek, the smile on her face so genuine that it untangles the smallest parts of discomfort on your chest.

“Hi princess. Missed you.”

“Thanks, Hisu. I missed you too.”

That’s always been the thing about Historia. That she’ll pick up, even when you haven’t called her in two years, and run to your aid.

“How’d you know we were here?” Jean asks, hands resting on his knees.

“I asked Historia.” you respond.

“Told you I was her favorite. She reached out to me before you.” Historia mutters, flopping back onto the air mattress she’s sharing with Ymir.

“You’re so arrogant, Historia. And full of shit.” Jean responds, rolling his eyes.

“You’re so right, Jean-Boy. This is just like what we fought about earlier.” Connie responds.

The group of them break out into an argument, Historia looking like she’s full on about to wrestle Connie as he only instigates her on. Mikasa’s already resting with her eyes closed as Jean turns pink in the face from his irritations.

And you can’t help but laugh, warm tingling in your chest at all of them, wholeheartedly the same. You look over at Eren and smile, which he returns. But despite it all, that stillness, that outsider feeling sits in your skin. Because despite them being the same, the striking differences in the room tell you things are wholeheartedly different too.

“Okay. Where’s the extra air mattress?” Eren asks.

Connie turns, eyes wide, as he gives the two of you a sheepish smile.

“Really funny story. Sooooo….”

“God. What did you do?” Eren groans.

“Long story short, I was thinking about waterbeds. If you pop a water bed, it should be like a waterfall right? So if it’s an air mattress, it should be like an inflatable air balloon thing. Like the weird noodle guys at the car store? Right? So, I tried to pop it. And succeeded.” Connie responds, rambling.

“Was it cool?” you ask.

“Ugh. Not at all, princess.” Connie responds.

You smile, perhaps bigger than you should at Connie using your old nickname, as Eren starts yelling at him.

“You should be the one to sleep on the floor since you’re the one who ruined the mattress.” Eren states.

“She should sleep on the floor. She got here last!” Connie responds.

“She just threw up. And she wasn’t going to sleep on the floor regardless.”

“Is she contagious?” Connie responds.

“Connie!”

Eren rolls his eyes as Mikasa stands up, shuffling to your side and lightly tugging your arm. You look at her, taking her shorter hair in, as you give her a smile.

“Hey. Want to go change? Your old clothes should still be here, don’t know how well they’ll fit.”

Eren breaks out of his conversation, leaning forward to where the two of you are talking, to interject.

“What’s mine is yours. Take mine if you need to.” he says, before returning in full flesh to the argument he’s having with Connie. You can tell they’re both joking from the way they’re trying not to laugh as you start to walk away.

The two of you quietly pad down the length to the two doors, directly across from each other, as you take in the scribbled signs switched. Your old room now reads Jean and Mikasa with Connie’s handwriting scribbled underneath inscribing please fuck quietly on the door. And consequently, Eren’s room now reads Eren and Y/N with Sasha’s handwriting scribbled underneath reading yall are fucked UP for this.

You turn to Mikasa and give her a weird look.

“Right. We’ve been here for a week, actually. Table reading season four stuff. Jean and I want to share a room so we moved all of his stuff to your room and your stuff to Eren’s room. We’ll put it back.” Mikasa states, pushing open the door to Eren’s room as she starts rummaging through your old drawers in the closet.

“No, no. It’s okay. I wouldn’t want to impose on you guys when you’re almost about to be newlyweds?” you ask.

“Yeah. Yeah, next year. And we just moved it because we thought you weren’t going to come back. And Eren didn’t want to toss your stuff and all.” she responds. She pulls out a shirt, most definitely from when you’re fifteen, as you both snicker at the size and she keeps digging.

You walk around Eren’s room, your room too now, as you eye all the boxes filled with your things, tangled in with Eren’s clothes lying around on every open surface. You take a seat at his desk as you start inspecting his little bulletin board, the pictures underneath the pins.

One of him, Lana, and Sukuna - the three of them smoldering at the camera. Eren and Connie smiling, Eren and a little kid with short curly hair, and two pictures of you. The first one is of you and him sleeping on set and the other is the two of you with Falco, both of you crouching down to his height and hugging him from behind.

And hanging around both of the pins are your friendship bracelets, which you take off the hooks to inspect.

So that’s where it went. In all of the fire of moving around so much, jumping from one place to another, you always thought you lost it. But you must have left it here all along.

You run your hands over the beads, yours and Eren’s names, as Mikasa gives you a head shake, indicating she didn’t find anything.

“S’okay. I’ll look through Eren’s stuff I guess.” you murmur.

Mikasa nods as she leans against Eren’s desk, hands crossed over her chest, as the silence hangs in between the two of you. She takes one of the bracelets from your hands, twisting the beads in her fingers, as you do the same with yours.

You find solace in the fact that Mikasa is still wearing her engagement ring - a constant in the sparring mix of changes you just witnessed in the room.

Connie sober. Ymir and Historia sharing a mattress. Eren and Connie getting along. Mikasa and Jean even tolerating being in the same room as Eren. In the same room as you. And the jarring absence of Marco.

“How are you?” Mikasa asks.

“Okay, Mika. How are you?”

Mikasa sinks down, sitting flat on the floor as she hikes her knees to her chest. You follow suit, dropping from your chair to sit next to her, lacing your arm through hers as you both blankly stare at the floor ahead of you, picking what topic to broach first.

I missed you. I’m sorry I haven’t talked to you in two years. Our friend is dead. Eren is here.

“The engagement party looked beautiful, Mikasa.”

She smiles, leaning her head against yours.

“Thank you, Y/N. It was quite nice actually.”

“I watched it on Vogue. Cried quite a bit.” you respond.

She laughs, rolling her eyes at you as she lightly shoves you.

“Should’ve come then. Cried in real time.”

You swallow hard, cheeks warm, as you squeeze her hand. You know she’s joking, but the guilt runs too deep.

“I’m sorry for not coming. I-I really wish I was there. And I know there’s no justification for it but-”

“We aren’t mad at you. Jean and I.” she clarifies.

“I’d understand if you were. I’m your best friend. I’ve-I’ve been with you guys since the start and-”

Mikasa’s hands are soft on your shoulders, tears gathering in her eyes, as she looks at you, eyes pinched in pain.

“You had every right to not come. To be done with this. What they did to you, to Eren- Y/N, god.”

You swallow hard.

“It didn’t warrant me not coming to you-”

“It did. You don’t even know the half of it. You-you and Eren. You just-”

There’s a knocking at the door and Eren pads in, eyes wide as he sees you and Mikasa on the floor, tears gathered in her eyes and your limbs tangled together.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I can come back.”

“No, no. It’s okay, Eren. Her clothes are too small. I can go grab mine for her if you two want to talk-” her words pointed, the emphasis on the last words hard.

“No, don’t bother Mikasa.” he responds, disappearing into his closet to find a pair of clothes for you.

Mikasa turns back to you, giving your cheek a pinch.

“I’ll make Jean sleep on the floor if Connie doesn’t give up his mattress. It’ll be like old times.” she responds, shuffling out of the room as you stay on your spot on the floor.

You hike your knees to your chest as you twist the beads in your fingers again, Eren’s name that you used to wear on your wrist almost every day foreign in your fingers.

“Eren. We’re going to be late.” you groan, impatiently tapping your foot on the ground as you wait for him by the door.

The two of you are already thirty minutes late to Erwin’s going away party, the last car waiting to take the two of you, Marco, and Annie out to the little soiree that Erwin is throwing for himself - in celebration of him being killed off.

“Sorry, sorry. Looking for my bracelet.” he responds, darting back and forth from different corners of the room.

“Well, hurry up. Annie’s getting pissed.”

“I found yours! But where is mine?”

You look down at your wrist to find the pink beads on your wrist, spelling out your name against your pulse point in your wrist.

“Oops, sorry. I’m wearing yours.” you respond.

Eren’s quick to walk over to where you’re standing on the door - giving you enough time to groan at how haphazardly he got ready for the party. His tie is loose against his neck, hair all messy as you reach up to fix it.

“God, Eren. At least brush your hair.”

“Quit moving your hands.”

Eren takes his hand in yours, quickly sliding the bracelet off your wrist and switching it with the one in his hand.

“Well, get ready properly. Your tie isn’t even on right.” you respond, irritated as you reach forward to tighten the fabric and smooth down his collar.

“And if I told you I put it on wrong just so you would fix it, what would you think?”

“That you’re asking for a death sentence from Annie for wasting time.”

He rolls his eyes, reaching up to lift the hand he just placed the bracelet on. His thumb is straight against your pulse point, blood pulsating under the spot, as he lifts his hand to leave a kiss right there.

“And that it’s cute that you did that.”

He gives you a wide grin, locking your hands together as you both rush out the door.

Eren shuffles out, sitting across from you as he puts the stack of clothes between you and hikes his knees to his chest. He holds his hand out and you place the bracelet in his hand.

“You left it in the bathroom.”

You nod as you try to steady your mind - still running a hundred miles per hour and overstimulated from seeing everyone again. From how familiar it all feels, how easy it all is to fall back into this despite how different things are.

How you and Eren are miles apart, how you haven’t talked to them all in months, how Marco is dead. That Marco’s death is suspending all of you in a weird state of reality, that every angry word spoken and every bit of harshness seems miniscule now.

“Do you want me to leave?” Eren asks.

“No.” you shrug.

“Do you want to talk?”

“No.”

Eren nods, counting each of the beads on the bracelet, as you both sit there in the silence, letting your eyes float around the room as you let your mind wander.

Marco and Colt playing chess everyday when he visited you in Canada, Marco falling for every stupid joke that Connie played on him, the way you all cried when Marco died in the show, Marco at the awards show.

“Eren?”

“Yes, Y/N?”

“Do you remember the first time we kissed?”

The question takes Eren off guard. He debates it then and there - telling you the truth full and whole - on the basis that he can’t handle the way you’re looking at him. At the fact that you even asked that, at the implication that you thought he could ever forget.

“Of course. On set, in the-”

“No, no. I mean, for real.”

“At the awards show.” Eren responds, without a beat.

“Yeah.”

Eren leans forward, wrapping his hands around your neck and pressing his lips to yours. You can still feel people moving around you, setting up things for the closing part of the ceremony, but the only thing you’re paying attention to is Eren. And his lips. And the way he’s pulling you closer, like he can’t get enough of you.

When you pull apart, you’re both panting, smiling at each other.

“Thank god. If I got cock-blocked from kissing you a third time, I was actually going to commit a murder.”

“You want me so bad.” you say, sarcastically.

“Obviously.”

You both smile and turn to the left, to a very smiley Marco staring at you two. And then you cringe, remembering that you and Eren are literally backstage and there’s like seven people who just watched you suck face. Marco walks up, wrapping his arms around both of you and hugging hard.

“I love you guys.”

“Marco. Don’t-” Eren starts.

“I’m not going to tell anyone. You need time to figure whatever is going on, without Connie and and Sasha up your ass the entire time. But I’m really, really happy for you.”

“Really, Marco?” you ask, leaning into Eren’s touch.

“It’s always been you guys. You guys better not break up or else I’ll come hunt both of you down. And if I’m dead, I’ll come back to life just to haunt you guys.”

“Do you think he’s haunting us?”

Eren frowns, the memory refreshing in his head. One he thought of a few days ago, lingering on the fact that Marco’s probably turning in grave right now. Granted, Marco was very vehement about his stance on you two - your interview and what Eren did, making Marco so agonizingly and uncharacteristically angry that it bothers him now.

For not listening to him. That if he does ever get to cross that bridge with you, at least be your friend again, that Marco won’t ever know.

“I just don’t understand why you won’t just go out there and tell her. You know where she lives.” Marco states, irritated.

“Because I just can’t, Marco! You watched the interview!”

“The entire song was about how she forgave you. How she isn’t holding a grudge against you. And-and the way she was talking about it, some part of her knows that other people had something to do with this, Eren. She knows deep down.”

“The interview was fucking horrible. This entire thing, this thing that I did, fucked her up so bad that she isn’t even doing this anymore. This was all she wanted, ever since she was a kid, she-she was so determined and she gave it up because I said all those things, because I did what I did.”

“Eren. It’s more compl-”

“No, it’s not. And she fucking hates me. You should have seen how upset she was at the awards show…..I-I ruined it for her. I ruined her entire dream, Marco.”

“God, Eren. Your tunnel vision is insane. You’re not even giving her a fighting chance when she doesn’t even know the truth!” he says.

“Maybe haunting is too mean of a word. I think he’d be happy to see us together, right now. Even if the circumstances aren’t the best.” he responds.

You smile, giving him a nod.

“He always did like playing cupid, didn’t he?”

“At the engagement party, he walked around telling everyone that Jean and Mikasa were only dating because of him.”

“That’s a lie.” you state.

“No one believed him.” Eren responds.

The two of you fall into silence again, resting your chins on your knees, as more thoughts swim through your head, pain so palpable it’s sitting in your chest. That if Marco were here, he’d be prancing in and giving you two devious smirks, lovingly teasing both of you. Pulling both of you aside, saying that bygones should be bygones if you still love each other.

You look up at him, watch his eyes flutter open and close, as he fidgets with his hands.

You still love him.

“Can we be civil for the weekend? Like…like you’re not Eren and I’m not Y/N, we’re just-” you sutter.

Your question falls short, hanging in the air as you watch the gears in Eren’s head turn.

“I just mean. So many things happened between us. And I know there’s hurt there, on your part and maybe mine too, but…..I don’t want us to be mad at each other at the funeral. Or after.”

You swallow hard.

“I’d hate for one of us to die being mad at each other. Without having talked in years.” you whisper.

Eren gets it. The guilt that must be wracking you for not talking to Marco, when you were one of the people who was closest to him. He reaches forward, taking your hand in his, as he fidgets with your fingers.

“He knows you loved him, Y/N.”

He watches the tears pour down your eyes, face pink and eyes swollen, as you talk.

“Did he? Because I ignored his texts. For years. He texted me happy birthday, asked how Falco was doing, wanted to know if I watched Halloweentown on October first like I always do, if I was happy, if I wanted to talk and-”

He squeezes your hand, pulling out his phone, as he scoots to the space next to you. He tries to still the pounding of his heart as you lace your arm through his, leaning your head against his.

“He knows, Y/N.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I was with him. I talked to him quite often after….after everything that happened. I promise you, he knows you loved him.”

You shake your head, guilt sitting in your head.

“I have something for you.” he murmurs.

“What is it?”

“It’s from a few years ago. I think he was really, really drunk.”

He hands you his phone, open to a voicemail from Marco, as you wipe the tears on your phone and press play. His voice comes through the speaker booming and giggling and hiccuping as he talks.

“Eren. Eren! Fuck, I love you so much dude. You’re-you’re such a guy. Like I-I just see you and think hmmmm. That’s a guy. Are you with Y/N? Tell her I love her. She’s my best friend. You’re all my best friends. I’m so happy I got to grow up with all of you. Oh, Connie just threw up on the floor, oh Connie- hey, stop! Okay, love you brother, I have to go.”

The voice cuts off abruptly, as you laugh.

“Never could hold his drink, could he?”

“Not everyone can be alcoholics like Jean and Mikasa.”

You both laugh, chest aching from how familiar, how soft this feels. That you’re both sitting in this room, where you grew up, fell in love, slept next to each other every night. Eren can see the tears welling in your eyes, thinking of his best efforts to stop it, at whatever is plaguing your mind.

“So. You said you’re not Y/N and I’m not Eren. So who are we?” he asks.

“I meant that metaphorically, you’re-”

You watch Eren’s eyes flit around his room, scanning till he stops around his bookshelf, and turns back to glance at you.

“Your new name is Margaret.”

“Ew. And I didn’t mean it like that, Eren.”

“Who is Eren? My name is….” he responds, giving you a smile as he elongagates the syllables waiting for your response.

You roll your eyes.

“Bruce. Your name is Bruce.”

“Bruce Wayne!”

“No. Not like Bruce Wayne. Think of someone really boring. Irritating, agitating.”

“Perfect! I’ll just think of you after five shots of tequila.”

You both laugh as Eren stands up, holding a hand out to pull you up. He sets the stack of clothes in your hand as he makes a move to walk out of the room. Except he hangs on the door for a second, voice soft when he talks.

“Does Bruce have permission to say something?”

“Sure.”

“I know he technically just met Margaret because she was born a minute ago, but he missed her. A lot.”

You feel your cheeks burn as you give him a nod, murmuring a quiet me too before sinking into the bathroom to slip his clothes on.

Connie, does in fact, not give up the mattress. Jean and Eren begrudgingly share as you and Mikasa cuddle into the night.

You wake up first, to find Mikasa sprawled over your entire frame. Her entire body is burning hot and you send a silent prayer to the world's strongest soldier, Jean Kirschtein, for putting up with this for so long. After you all but free yourself from her grasp, you spare a quick glance to see Jean must be smothering Eren more than Mikasa was you and silently muse that the two of them truly are made for each other.

You pad down to the kitchen, yanking the hood of Eren’s hoodie over your head, to find Connie sitting at the table, scribbling away in a journal, a steaming bowl of oatmeal next to him.

“Good morning, Con.’”

He looks up, one of his hands going instinctively to cover what he was writing as you take the seat next to him, crossing your legs up on the chair. He immediately relaxes, giving you a bright smile.

“Good morning, princess. You can have some if you want.”

“No, no. I don’t want to impose.”

“What’s mine is yours.” he says, mimicking Eren’s voice.

You snort, reaching for his spoon, as you take a bite of the warm food, soothing the stiffness in your throat.

“Sleep well?” he asks.

“Mikasa basically strangled me all night.”

“Ew. Of course she has the cuddle bug. I swear, Jean and Mikasa were always goo goo ga ga, but they’re even worse now.”

“They’re getting married, Connie. It’s sweet.”

He smiles, sliding the string through the pages, as he turns to you giving you a smile.

“Yeah. It is sweet.” he responds, voice quiet.

Connie swallows hard, eyes weary as he turns to you.

“I want to apologize.” Connie says.

The elephant in the room. He’s the first one to touch it.

“Oh. That’s okay, I under-”

“No, no. It’s not okay.” he responds, tone almost harsh.

You and Armin share a look the second he breaks the frame, glass shattering over the length of Armin’s apartment.

“Why the fuck would you guys bring me here?” Connie asks, sweat beading his forehead.

From the way he’s moving, all erratic and nonsensical, it makes you think that it’s out of his system. That if Connie had a chance, this would be when he would sneak off to the bathroom to get his fix. But he’s nowhere near that, instead settled into Armin’s tiny New York apartment, screaming at the two of you.

“Connie. You asked us too.” you respond.

“I was fucking high! Why would you guys even entertain a word I said?” Connie states, voice even more agitated now.

“Connie. You…you need help. We looked at some rehab places while you were asleep and-”

“Rehab? I’m not going to rehab. Are you trying to ruin my fucking career, Armin?”

“No, but we want to make sure you’re okay. They’ll be discrete, we’ll make sure the security detail is good so that you can be better and-”

“I am fucking fine. Do I look like I need help?”

You and Armin share a weary glance, before looking back at him.

“Connie. We love you. We-we just want to help you, okay?” you say.

“Does it ever embarrass you when you do this, Y/N?” Connie says, voice laced with venom.

“Sorry?”

“Does you not think it’s embarrassing to beg like this in front of people who don’t fucking care about you the way you do about them? I figured that Eren putting you in your place like that would set you straight but it seems like you didn’t learn your lesson, did you?”

You swallow hard, eyes and skin burning as Connie waits for your response.

“You don’t mean that. You-you’re just mad because you can’t be high right now.” you murmur.

“Am I, Y/N? Or is it true?”

“It’s not true. This isn’t you, Connie.”

“God, Y/N. Wake the fuck up. We aren’t fifteen anymore. No ones sitting here holding your hand telling you that you’ll be the best anymore. I get that you need that ego boost to move forward but I sure as hell am not going to be the one to give it to you.”

“Connie, that’s enough-”

Connie swallows hard, eyes focused on his fingers as he talks.

“I know-I know that I said it wasn’t true. But I really did say all of those things because I was high. Or because I wanted to be high and was in withdrawal and-”

“I know that, Connie. I’ve never held it against you.”

He frowns, twisting his pen to his fingers.

“You always give grace even when you don’t know the whole story. Me, Hisu, Eren.” he murmurs.

“You deserve it…and I partially knew. I mean, addiction is a disease. It hurt at first but that wasn’t your fault. You just needed to be treated and helped and I’m glad you did.”

He smiles, resting his cheek against his hand.

“Thank you, Y/N. Don’t mind me if I spend the rest of my life asking for forgiveness. I won’t ever feel like I deserve it but I’ll keep asking anyway.” he murmurs.

“I’ll always give it to you.” you respond, squeezing his shoulder.

You silently wonder that if you ever did come back, sans funeral, if things would be like this. If you and Eren could pretend, if Mikasa and Jean could look past it all. Because some parts of it, they feel earnest, truthful. But you can’t tell if you’re all suspended in some disbelief, clouded by your grief and trying to cling onto one of the things Marco loved most. His time on the show, with you all.

“Honey when I’m above the trees, I SEE IT FOR WHAT IT IS.” Connie sings, screams.

“Oh my god, Connie.” you deadpan.

He’s singing happiness. Like the happiness you sang in your interview, when you forgave Eren.

“THERE’LL BE HAPPINESS AFTER YOU. BUT THERE WAS HAPPINESS BECAUSE OF YOUUUU. BOTH OF THESE THINGS CAN BE TRUE, THERE IS HAPPINESS.”

You clamp your hand flat against his mouth, trying not to snicker, as he continues to sing underneath your hand.

“Are you insane? They’re all sleeping.” you whisper.

“Not anymore we’re not.” Ymir responds, immediately smacking Connie against the head.

“You’re going to give Eren a nightmare, Connie.” Historia mutters, dragging her feet into the kitchen as Ymir follows.

“I’m already living it.” Eren grumbles, leaning against the counter as he splits a PopTart with Jean.

Slowly but surely, every one of them shuffles down to the room, the deja vu of the situation hitting deep as each person follows suit. Sasha ambles down after a few minutes, finishing off the bowl of oatmeal that you and Connie were sharing while Reiner and Bertholdt murmur quietly over the coffee cup. Eren’s in hushed conversation with Jean and Mikasa, fixing himself breakfast, as Hange and Levi wander into the room, immediately thrown off by all of you in there.

“Jesus.” Levi says, tone exasperated.

“Good morning, Levi.” Mikasa says, gesturing to the water boiling on the kettle for his tea. He gives her a grateful smile, taking a seat in his corner as Hange talks to the group of you. Connie’s resorted to cracking all of your knuckles since his are all worn out as they go on.

“Good morning kiddos!”

“Don’t….do such a cheery voice, Hange.” Levi says, sighing.

Hange’s smile falters, before dropping all together, and giving a thoughtful nod. Eren shuffles over to your side, taking the seat next to yours as he places a steaming bowl of ramen in front of you.

“Oh. Thank you, Eren.”

“Who?”

You roll your eyes as Eren smiles, reaching forward to flick your cheek.

“Bruce.”

“Bruce, indeed.” he responds.

Eren knows he’s in treacherous waters. That this line you’ve drawn, that you’re not you and he’s not himself, works almost too well for Eren’s purposes. That he can pretend, in earnest, that none of the things he said happened. That you and him are just as you always were, untouched in the bubble you were always in when you lived here. .

“The funeral is tomorrow, as we all know. The Bodt’s have requested that we get there ten minutes before the service, so be on time tomorrow. Bertholdt, Sasha, I’m looking at both of you. ”

You all nod, humming in response, as you start digging into the bowl, switching off with Connie and Sasha who are both trying to monopolize the only real food in a five feet radius.

“That being said…” Hange says, swallowing hard.

They’re pacing back and forth almost, teetering on their ankles, when they talk. And when they finish explaining - autopsy report in hand and the gut punch sticking in your chest - you all sit there, blankly staring.

And wander in silence for the rest of the day.

It was one thing that Marco died. And an entirely different one that he was killed.

“Someone go get Eren, we only have thirty minutes.” Levi says, everyone lingering in the kitchen and the living room, in a sea of black.

Almost everyone is here now - Erwin, Armin, even Eren’s parents - all lingering around as you wait to head to the funeral. You give a curt nod to Levi and march out to the pavement, pebbles crunching under your feet as you make your way to set.

Eren’s been in there since last night, never retreating to the room to change into his pajamas before he settled down on the couch downstairs. Despite your protests, he refuses to sleep in the same room as you. Or let you sleep anywhere else besides Jean’s old bed in his room.

You let the pebbles crunch under your feet, ignoring the sting as you pass the tandem bike, and slip onto the set. You can see new costumes designs printed against the walls, storyboards with Levi and Hange’s handwriting on them as you make your way to the back towards the piano.

When you see him, that rage, simmering warm in your stomach over the past twenty-four hours, the deep-seated pain of Marco dying alone, crying out for help, comes to a head when you see Eren. Because he’s sitting at the bench, with his book propped up against the stand, and a bottle of pills in his hands.

You march up to where he’s standing, crossing your hands across your chest as you all but glare at him.

“Oh. Hey, you look-”

“Are you serious?”

You watch his face scrunch up in confusion, that stupid look on his face aggravating you even more. His tie is unkempt, his hair is messy - he’s always so haphazard with these things.

“You’re doing pills in here before Marco’s funeral. Are you fucking serious?”

He looks down, at the bottle in his hand and stands up, and swallows hard when he looks at you.

“Wait-”

“No. No, for once, you’re going to listen to me. You-you’re sick. Marco’s dead. You can’t even give it to him to be fully there while we say goodbye? This means that much to you?” you spit, watching him shut his eyes.

“Y/N.”

“How could you do this? To him? To me?”

He reaches forward, hands on your shoulders as he squeezes, and your eyes burn like acid. And every feeling, building up over the past few days, comes tumbling out.

“Why did he have to leave us, Eren? We didn’t get enough time with him. He was only twenty-four, he didn't even get to grow old. He was supposed to die, years from now, so happy, so-so surrounded by people he loved.”

Eren forgoes the rational thought. He reaches forward fully, snaking his arms around you as he cradles your head into his frame, trying his best to stifle your cries into his shoulder.

“And you. He would hate that you were doing this. I hate that you’re doing this. You-you don’t have to. There are other things that can make you happy or-or fix whatever it is that’s wrong.”

“Y/N.”

“What, Eren?”

He pulls back, reaching for the pill bottle, and placing it in the palm of your hand. You read the label, immediately embarrassed and ashamed of your reaction.

Eren Jaeger *Lexapro 5 mg Take one tablet by mouth with the morning meal.

“Oh my god, Eren. I’m so sorry, I-”

You pull back, sitting down on the bench, as you dig your fingers into your temples, trying to stop that pulsating feeling under your skin. The rage, the feeling, coursing through you so hard that you can’t even pick what you’re mad at.

You’re breathing panic in and out, chest heaving, as Eren takes a seat next to you, leaning his elbows on his knees. And the feeling, it lands on feeling overwhelmingly embarrassed. Because Eren’s not doing drugs, he’s taking anti-anxiety pills.

“Eren. I’m so sorry. That was so horrible of me, I thought it was-”

“You thought it was like Connie.” he finishes

“Yeah. And I’m sorry for assuming, I just-”

“I’m not mad at you. You were just trying to take care of me. I appreciate it.”

You groan, embarrassment still coursing through you, as you lean your forehead straight against the piano, the smell of the ink on Eren’s book permeating your nose.

“Do you remember that birthday party of mine I told you about? When I was ten, at my old house in New York? It was when we were in Australia.”

You nod.

“I remember feeling it. A paralyzing block in my chest, like I couldn’t move. And when I was able to move, it was only because it all came rushing to me, so panicked, so fast that I-I didn’t even register what happened.”

He was barely even ten. You lift your hands to his shoulders, squeezing hard, as he continues.

You’re here and you’ve got him.

“I didn’t tell anyone. I thought something was wrong with me. I thought that people feel this way, that it’s normal, but I just felt too much of it. That I just can’t handle things the way normal people do.”

You frown, reaching up to cup the side of his face. Your fingers brush over his dimples, soft under your fingers, as you talk.

“Eren. There is nothing wrong with you. That’s just an anxiety attack.” you whisper.

You’re not sure what it is about what you said but when you look up, there are soft tears flowing down Eren’s cheek, the voice coming out of his mouth so garbled you can barely understand what he’s saying.

“Hey, Eren.” you whisper,

“No. No, no. Stop.”

Eren stands up, retreating to the other side of the piano, where he’s leaning over, his entire frame heaving up and down as you walk to his side.

“Why are you-”

“I don’t want you to help me. You shouldn’t be helping me.” he says, his voice shuddering.

“Why not?” you ask, frowning.

“I’ve been horrible to you. I don’t deserve your help. You-you should be cussing me out, so mad that you can’t stand me, that you want me to suffer and you’re not. And it’s agonizing for me that you aren’t.”

You walk up behind him, wrapping your arms around him from the back, as you feel him sigh. You lean your cheek flat against his shoulder, squeezing as hard as you can as Eren continues to cry, fists clenched so tight on the piano that white.

“You’re not you and I’m not me. We agreed on that.” you murmur.

“Y/N. We can’t-”

“Who?”

He snickers, amidst his tears, as he turns around, and you slot your arms under his. You can feel his heart thumping under your ear, loud and fast, as you place your hand over the spot. The two of you stay that way for some time, Eren's tears falling onto you, as you try your best to remedy whatever it is that's burning inside of him.

“Just calm down and breathe. Falco says it always helps to talk about something else, when he feels like this.”

He tenses at the mention of Falco, which you realize was a mistake.

“Why were you in here?” you ask.

“The Bodt’s asked me to write a song for the service.”

The perfect distraction.

“Can you sing it for me?” you ask.

He looks down, green eyes - full and round - as he nods, shuffling towards the piano bench as you take the seat next to him. You can see that the lyrics are scribbled on the book resting against the stand, the paper stiff from blotches of Eren’s tears. He starts playing the piano, his voice echoing on the walls of the set.

And if I didn't know better I'd think you were talking to me now If I didn't know better I'd think you were still around What died didn't stay dead What died didn't stay dead You're alive, you're alive in my head What died didn't stay dead What died didn't stay dead You're alive, so alive

You rest your hands against the keys next to his, slowly following his pace, as he continues to sing, the hum of his voice filling the air. You can’t help but think it. That he’s beautiful. That this is your Eren, miles away from whoever he was when you saw him last.

I should've asked you questions I should've asked you how to be Asked you to write it down for me Should've kept every grocery store receipt 'Cause every scrap of you would be taken from me

You can feel the tears flowing down your cheeks now, straight onto the piano keys and your hands, as you cry.

And if I didn't know better I'd think you were singing to me now If I didn't know better I'd think you were still around I know better But I still feel you all around I know better But you're still around

When you and Eren get to the service, you walk hand in hand to the piano. And play the song together, for Marco and Marco only.

You knock on the door, padding into the room to find Levi, hunched over his computer and leaning his hand on his cheek. You take the seat next to him, crossing your legs against the chair, as he looks over at you, expressionless.

“I’m leaving tomorrow.” you say.

Four days after the funeral and all of them have cleared out. Forced to go back to wherever they were before, to push down the beating pain and move forward. The grief, perhaps it did suspend reality for the rest of you. Leave you to pretend that nothing that happened was real, that you were still teenagers running around on this set together.

That wasn’t how it was for Levi. Because in almost a week of being there, he had yet to talk to you with a straight face.

“What are you working on, Levi?” you ask, cracking your knuckles.

He turns the laptop towards you, one of the old hard drives from the earlier seasons pulled up on his computer. He plays the video, one of Jean sitting in a chair behind the green backdrop.

“Okay, Jean. Tell me your goal for the end of the show.” Levi asks.

The video, Jean must be barely sixteen, wearing one of the old costumes from season one. You remember now, that Hange was insistent on documenting everything - that you all were going to grow up so fast that they should keep videos. Obviously, Hange is too disorganized to do it themselves, so Levi bit the bullet and did it for them.

“I don’t know. That’s so far away, Levi.” he groans, scrunching up his forehead.

“Just answer, Jean. Where do you see yourself at the end of the show, when you’re in your twenties?”

“With Mikasa.” he responds.

You both smile as Levi switches to the next videos, the two of you watching all of them in silence.

“I want to be myself. That’s all I want to be, not embarrassed or ashamed, I-I just want to be me.” Historia says, smiling into the camera.

“I don’t know. That’s a weird question, Levi.” Mikasa grumbles, glaring at him.

“You’re horrible, Mikasa. Jean said he wants to be with you.” Levi responds.

“Well, that’s a given. Of course, I’m going to be with Jean.” she responds, giving one last eye roll to the camera.

“Doing something important. That means something to people.” Connie responds.

You swallow hard, as you see Eren, fifteen and so smiley, as he crawlsl onto the little stool.

“My turn?” Eren asks, giving Levi a bright smile.

“Yes, kid. Your turn. Why else would you be sitting here?”

“Okay. This is a secret so don’t tell anyone.” he says.

“I’m not broadcasting to a news channel, Eren. Just hurry up, I still have to get through half of you.”

Eren nods, reaching up to fix his hair, before he talks - his voice filled with that confident resolve, that one he always sported when he was fifteen.

“I want to get the Best Actor in a Lead role award. And on the same night, I want Y/N to become a triple threat. And then I want us to tell her that I told her so. Me and her, at the top.” he says, giving the camera a bright smile, before jumping off.

The next one is of you, what you said being entirely lost to you in your memories.

“What do I want to do when I'm in my twenties? Hm.” you echo.

“Today would be nice.” Levi deadpans.

“Well, I don’t know! That’s so broad. I want to be doing stuff like this. Acting, making music, To have people enjoy the work I make, and making it with my friends, like Eren and Mikasa and Armin. I want to be here, more than anything. It feels so right to me, that I get to do this. It’s special, it’s a privilege and I’m really thankful I get to do it.”

“Note to anyone watching. This is one of our only kids with manners.” Levi says, setting the camera down to give you a hug.

You bite down on your cheek, looking over at Levi, as he plays the last one. Of Marco.

“Okay, Marco. What do you want to do when you’re in your twenties?”

“Well. I know what I’m going to be doing.” Marco says, crossing his arms against his chest.

“Oh, yeah? What’s that?”

“See. Spoiler alert, but Hange and Levi just killed me off this show. But we made a deal. That I get to be in each season, even if its a super minor role like a flashback or whatever. So in my twenties, I’ll be here. Surrounded by all my childhood best friends, making this show that’s always meant so much to us.”

You swallow hard as Levi wraps his arms around you, the two of you watching Marco’s smiley face disappear from the screen.

“So I’ll see you in four months? For season four?”

“Damn right you will.” you respond.

And for the first time in a week, Levi breaks a smile.

“Good.”

next part linked here

an, again: SEASON FOUR ERA (this shit abt to be so awkward when they're not all sad/grieving )

taglist: @k0z3me @kayleegomez @yihona-san06 @bsenpai @sweetenertea @mykyoon @violetmatcha @rebeccawinters @cutiejg @bokutosthings @bookwrmm @mblrrr @wheredidmycrowngo @somethinginyoureyes7 @chilichopsticks @okaystopwhore @you-always-made-me-blush @itzmeme @firelordazulaaaa @whoami-72 @g-ghostly-y-blog @intimacywithceline @erensmoodygf @cocomellxn @princess-ackerman @jaegerfiles @cacapeepee @squirrelspoetry @rui-0836 @moonmalice @invisible-mori @sofiasber @bbybeeb @timetobegone @tee4str @ttokki2 @leave-rae-alone @ec3lipsy @officialsimpp @gojojang @yookayyo @lordbugs @multiplefandomthings @iobeyfandoms @camilo-uwu @justanotherkpopstanlol @mel-star636 @fvckingeetar @ttalgi

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georgiapeach30513 · 4 months

Text

See Through My Eyes, Part 2

Summary: you and Bucky have to talk

Pairings: Bucky Barnes X Reader

Rating: mild

Warnings: language, sexual imagery, mentions of genital worship, 18+ ONLY

Word Count: 5K

Series Masterlist

*dividers created by @firefly-graphics

Steve watches his friend intensely. Staring as he walks from one side of the living room to the next. Hearing his goddaughter in the next room, screaming so loudly he wants to grab Bucky and make him talk to him. He’s never seen Bucky like this except once.

“Who the fuck did you knock up?”

“I heard that, Steve! I’m telling Miss Fawn!”

Steve’s mouth flies open, staring down the hallway, and he wonders if Izzy just has an alarm for bad words. “Buddy, I won’t say another bad word if you just tell me what is going on? You have only been like this when you found out Kenton was pregnant.”

Bucky just nods his head, stopping abruptly as he pinches the bridge of his nose. He used damn condoms. He pulled them off, and tied them up, and he spent the night with you. It wasn’t like you shoved anything back up inside of you. And you didn’t even seem to want or need him in your life or the baby’s. You were perfectly content.

”Buck?”

“Remember the Tinder date?”

“Mother…”

“Uncle Steve!” Izzy growls before she peeks her head out of her bedroom, “Miss Fawn will hear about this. She says profanity is not nice, and she’s growing a baby!” She stomps her foot one time to emphasize her words, and Bucky turns to look at his independent daughter before pointing to her bedroom.

“This is a grownup talk thing, huh?” He nods his head, and she sighs before closing her door and turning on Taylor Swift louder than Bucky normally allows. Grabbing her microphone before singing along with the obnoxious tune.

“James Buchanan Barnes, you knocked up her teacher!”

“I did not know that doeeyez1917 was Miss Fawn!”

“You are having a baby with Miss Fawn! Oh my god! Oh my god! Well, was she good? Like was the sex at least good? You got another person pregnant, do you not use protection? Is she a screamer? Wait, what kinks do you have? How far along is she? Have you seen her since the first night? Why are you just now telling me about this? What is…?”

“Steven!” Bucky’s hands grab onto his head because Steve is saying every question, and then some out loud, and Bucky’s head is swimming. Today was a stupid long day at work. It was too hot, the men on his crew wanted to be lazy and he pulled more weight on the team, and he was exhausted. He was late picking up his daughter, and then he finds out you were pregnant.

“Was the sex good?”

“The best I’d ever had,” Steve’s eyes go as large as saucers, and his hand shoves into his mouth. “Stop, don’t do that.”

“So why are you just now finding out she’s pregnant? And are you sure it’s yours? What is it? Oh my god, you’re going to have another spawn!” Bucky sighs, and collapses on the couch, “Buddy, what’s going on in your pretty little head?”

“I fucked up,” Steve cringes as he stares down the hall to Izzy’s door, but the music is either too loud or she knew that grownup talk was something she didn’t need to interrupt.

“Today was the first day you saw her, huh?” Bucky nods his head, his eyes blank as he stares out at nothing. He knew very little about you, but he did know more about Miss Fawn. And he knew about Miss Fawn through his daughter. His daughter that adored her teacher, and always managed to bring her up in everyday talk.

“If the sex was that good, why didn’t you see her again?”

“I deleted the app because I didn’t think I needed it, but then couldn’t remember how to get back in, and my email was no help,” Steve purses his lips as he stares at Bucky curiously. “And you said Tinder was about hooking up. So I just figured she wasn’t interested.”

“Why would you listen to me? You knew where she lived, you said you went to her house, so why didn’t you…”

”Because I’m stupid. I should have,” his voice falls into a whisper. How could he be so stupid? He knew exactly where you were and he wonders if you’ve been scared. If you tried to get in contact with him or if you just figured you’d deal with the consequences. But it was both of your consequences.

“So…Miss Fawn and doeeyes1917 are the same person. Your daughter’s teacher has Bucky growing inside of her,” Bucky fake retches, and starts laughing. “Do you know what a condom is?”

“We used them. I took it off, and she asked me if I would fuck her again just so she could watch me do that one more time,” Bucky’s chuckle turns dark at the times that he encouraged you one more time. Every time you gave so freely to him, and you looked so pretty, and felt so good coming over his fat cock. After two orgasms you were completely compliant to whatever he wanted, and he kept taking.

Over and over again until tears were leaking from your eyes, and you begged for him to come so you could sleep. He assured you that he would keep fucking you even if you were asleep, and he kissed away your stray tears as pleasure erupted in your body again.

“Ew, dad sex is gross.”

“I don’t think Miss Fawn minded my dad sex,” you definitely didn’t mind. You didn’t mind at all.

“Clearly not now that she made you a daddy again. Is she…like showing? What is your mother going to say?”

“Fuck me,” he growls. His mom. She hated Kenton, and told her son not to be knocking some bitch up again. “And yeah, she’s,” he stops, wishing the shock wouldn’t have gotten to him and he could have appreciated the way your dress hugged the little bump of his child. “Steve, she was gorgeous. All cute, and swollen, and she’s full of me, and…”

“You have the weirdest breeding kink.”

“She likes kids.”

“Other people’s kids,” that much is obvious. You are a teacher, and Izzy loved you so much she never quit talking about you.

“She wanted this child and didn’t need me. Izzy loves her, and she could be her step mom,” Bucky’s thoughts are spiraling and he’s very much aware of how they’re spiraling, but the thought of Izzy not having to give up her chameleon nickname makes him beam.

“Easy, killer. That’s if she wants to be with your flaky ass. She could just be your second baby mama that doesn’t want to be a stepmom, and she doesn’t want things to change. So calm your tits, and think about this. Are you going to have a conversation with her?” Bucky can only nod his head as he stares out in the distance.

He didn’t want that to be an option. He didn’t want to think about you and his child living in a two bedroom apartment all alone, and it isn’t even in the nicest part of town. He could help provide you with a good life. You and his children. And Izzy already adored you, and he wasn't sure how he was going to introduce you as the woman carrying her sibling, but it had to happen. He wants to be in the baby’s life, and yours.

“I’ve got more rooms in this house.”

“Stop it. Stop that.”

“She can be on a different floor.”

“Bucky!” Steve throws his head back onto the back of the couch, slapping his hand on his friend’s leg. “Don’t you dare meet with her to talk and tell her that she can move into your home with Izzy, while she grows your baby. You deleted Tinder, you didn’t go see her, and now you’re her student’s father, and she’s carrying your child. Bucky, this is what went wrong with you and Ken.”

“Ken was always a bitch.”

“Yeah, but you moved way to fast, and you still need better condoms. What kind of sperm is your cock growing? Super sperm!”

“Super sperm!” Izzy’s evil laugh can be heard in her bedroom before she opens the door, and runs into her daddy’s lap, “What is super sperm?”

“Steve, tell Izzy what super sperm is.”

“A word that you don’t say. Ever ever,” Izzy isn’t buying it. It’s a word she shouldn’t say, but that didn’t mean she didn’t want to know why.

“That makes no sense.”

“It’s an adult word,” she looks at her dad, and back at Steve. “I’m telling the truth. It’s an adult word. You wouldn’t say shit would you?”

“I’m telling my teacher you said all the bad words.”

You pace around your kitchen as you play over Bucky picking up Izzy. Izzy. Your little chameleon. The little girl that will hide what’s really going on in her life, but sometimes these little words come out like her mom hadn’t called her. She is so resilient, and she is Bucky’s daughter. Your baby daddy.

You didn’t see your life this way. You had fully accepted that you were going to be single, and never ever have kids. It was a fairytale dream you had when you were younger. And then Bucky and his fucking super sperm happened. They wiggled their way into your body, and bonded with your egg, and now you’ve got this child growing in you.

He deleted Tinder, which makes sense for all the messages you sent him. You decide you’re going to start off by showing him the messages. Yes. You tried to reach out, but you knew nothing about him, you didn’t even know his fucking last name until he picked Izzy up. Barnes. Baby Barnes. Maybe Barnes. You had already committed to the baby having your last name because you were a loser that didn’t know their child’s father’s last name.

Bucky has to be a nickname anyways, and you didn’t know his real name. That man was drilling into you all night, and you just kept moaning Bucky. What if he had a different name? And you didn’t fucking know, “I’m sorry, baby,” you whine, petting along your stomach.

“I know nothing about your father other than he has a big fucking cock, and it’s slightly curved, and it hits me in just the right spot, and I guess I orgasmed so good that here you are,” you roll your eyes as you look up at the ceiling, feeling your eyes start to fill up with tears.

“Why do you always do this to me? You’re so cute and perfect, and your mom is a fuck up. I didn’t know your dad’s last name. I don’t even know if your dad wants to be in your life, and if he doesn’t and I know who his daughter is that’s going to hurt so much. Izzy’s so sweet,” your voice goes up an octave. “I hate this crying.”

How could you find out all this information and not cry? You didn’t even want to know what the sex of your baby is going to be because it gave you something to look forward to, considering you couldn’t feel its daddy’s dick again. “I shouldn’t think things about your daddy, but he has a really nice cock, and he knows how to use it.”

Your hand rubs up and down the little bump, and you scowl as a vision of Bucky wanting to touch his baby pops into your head, “No, I will not think of him. Why? Because I was supposed to be single all my life. Now I’ve got a fucking crib in my fucking office, and I can’t stop saying fuck, and I’m becoming a mother. And I’m so pissed off with how stupid I was. And I’m not getting my hopes up in thinking that Bucky wants to be in our lives, because he already has a child, and a baby mama who sounds like a bitch, and if I saw her I would punch her for Izzy. What mother doesn’t call their child? Ugh!”

He is coming over today, and you didn’t have to give him your address, he remembered. Asshole. He remembered, but didn’t bother to come by and see you. If you were oh so wonderful why couldn’t he spare a drive to your apartment? Why was the deleting of Tinder an excuse, and why did you believe it at that moment?

“I am not supposed to be stressed!” You scream, and rub on your belly, apologizing. “Ahh!” Flinching, and screaming when a loud knock happens on your door. “I’m coming,” hating yourself for saying that because you know who it is, and the last time you said that was under very different circumstances.

You swing the door open, and smile at him. Your heart hurts just to see his face. Brows tilt up as he looks around your body, “Why are you stressed?” Is he looking for a source of stress? The source is right in front of you with his big cock self.

“You heard that?”

“The walls here are too thin.”

“Are you insulting my home,” he cringes. Literally cringes. “I see.”

“It’s not the nicest neighborhood,” okay, you carried the little cat keychain and pepper spray, you’re sure most girls do. But you feel extremely defensive about his comments. “Can I come in?”

“Are you sure the walls won’t be too thin?”

“I didn’t mean to insult your home.”

“Good you didn’t seem to mind them being thin a few months ago when…” he doesn’t even let you finish. He presses a finger up against your mouth and shushes you. “What are you doing?”

“I apologize. I started this off completely wrong, and I don’t want thing to continue this way. However, you are pregnant with my child and I have questions,” his child. He’s already throwing that word around. “Miss Fawn, I know I’m saying all the wrong things. I’m sorry, truly.”

You take a deep breath as you move away from the door, holding out a hand for him to continue in. He walks past, but keeps looking towards you. His eyes flicking down to your stomach, and you can’t stand it. “Why didn’t you come to my apartment?”

“What?”

“When you deleted the app. Stop. Pause,” you inhale deeply, and look away from him. It hurts to see him, knowing that part of him has been growing inside of you, and he’s missed so much.

“I’m very emotional right now. It’s not just the pregnancy, it’s you. You’re Izzy’s dad, and the father of my child, and this is very overwhelming to me, and I need to change my office to the baby’s room, and I really don’t want to. Definitely not yet, and not — alone. But I need it. I’m not just a teacher, I’m working on something, and,” you take a another deep breath as you try and center your thoughts. “Why didn’t you come here? You remembered where I lived, but you didn’t.”

He sighs. His eyes flicker all over your face, and he gives you that judging look your parents have been giving you since you told them you were pregnant and you didn’t know the baby’s daddy, “Don’t pity me.”

“I’m trying to figure out why I didn’t think of that,” the giggle that releases from your mouth is just as much tears as a laugh. “Can I hug you?”

“I’d really like that,” gulping, you allow him to embrace you, and it feels so right. So warm, and his hand naturally dips to your belly, and he holds your baby just like you dreamed he would, and you hate that you’re getting choked up that your baby’s daddy wants them. “I’m sorry.”

“Me, too.”

“This doesn’t solve anything,” he huffs out a laugh, and his breath fans over your skin, and you actually tremble. A soft whimper edges out of your throat. The hand on your belly, the place where his child is growing, tightens. “Bucky,” you whisper, taking a step back from him, and he retreats immediately. “We should talk,” you need air and a chance to breathe, and this is just all too much.

“Yes, talk. We left some unfinished business last time.”

“I really can’t handle talking about last time.”

“Why’s that?” Oh, he can’t apologize himself through this. You have thought and thought, and thought some more about last time. The time that got you knocked up and single. The time that changed your world completely, and he was fuck off somewhere. Being pregnant really gives you a potty mouth.

“Because last time you fucked me three ways from Sunday, all fucking night long. Then you stayed. We showered, and fucked some more. Then we got in the bed, and you woke me up by sucking on my clit, and fucked me slowly, and then you carried me into this fucking kitchen, and you had breakfast already delivered. And…well, you know. Why are you smiling?”

“Izzy does this thing whenever she hears me or Steve say a bad word, she always says she’s going to tell you, and I counted five bad words in that story.”

God, he was so fucking cute! Bastard. And he counted your ‘bad words’? Was he even paying attention? “That’s not funny.”

“She would be very disappointed to know that you talk like that.”

“Not in front of kids,” he points at your stomach, and your natural response is to cover the swell with your arms. “They don’t count.”

“They?” His eyes go wide as he looks at your belly. “How many are in there?”

“One. I just don’t want to know what they are. The doctor tried, and I screamed at him,” you see his Adam’s apple bob while his eyes drift back down to your stomach. A sadness creeps over his face and you’re very confused. “What?”

“You’ve been to the doctor?”

“A few times. I needed to. I’m pregnant. It was like I knew immediately, and my ass went to the doctor, and they confirmed it. Got to hear their heartbeat, and stop looking at me that way!” It’s pitiful and you would just about drop to your knees and start sucking his dick if it would make that pouty face stop. Why is he cuter now that his child is growing in you?

“I missed hearing the first heartbeat,” fuck him. There’s this adorable look he gives you, but it breaks your heart. Realizing that Bucky really wanted this life.

“It still beats. Come here,” you take him to the tiny living room, and point towards the couch before retreating into your office/baby room, and come back with a device. Pulling up your shirt, and he bites on his lip. “Don’t tell me you have a breeding kink,” you giggle as you spread on some gel, and place a wand on your stomach.

Moving it around as you smile at him, “Come on. Your…father is waiting.”

“Daddy.”

“Daddy?” You ask, moving the wand around some more.

“If it’s okay. That’s what I’d like the baby to call me,” do not cry. Don’t you dare fucking cry. Find the damn heartbeat. Please, find it. Find. It. “Oh my god,” Bucky sits up straighter on the couch, staring straight at your Doppler wand. “Is that?”

“Yeah,” you smile, tears brimming your eyes, “That’s my — your — it’s our baby. I make a routine to listen to it every day. I think they enjoy it. I talk to them all the time. That’s who I was talking to when you said I had thin walls.”

“You do. It’s not insulated well, but this is amazing,” he changed that sentence real quick, and you don’t even care. “That’s our baby,” our. He fucking sucks. You’re trying to have an adult conversation and not want to worship his balls for giving you this incredible moment, and life growing in you. Thank you, testicles, for fucking a baby into your belly so you could have this man as your baby daddy. He’s hot, cute, and sweet. Goddammit.

“So?”

“So,” he responds, waiting for you to put the Doppler up, and you look at him. “Thank you.”

“Why?” You know this asshole is going to say something sweet, and you’re trying not to fall in love with your baby daddy who you only had sex with once. One night. Multiple times. Who is counting?

“I don’t know. For being incredible. For not being a bitch, and resenting me. For giving me a chance. And you’re not being weird about this, and I should apologize on behalf of my sperm.”

”Please, don’t do that?”

“Why?”

“Because I get horny thinking about your sperm. Oh my god that sounds so weird. What I mean is that your condom removal, sir, should be written about. I mean — can I lay everything out on the line?”

“I really wish you would,” is there pleading in Bucky’s voice? Is he getting horny with cum talk? He did have a fucking breeding kink. You’d make a note of that. It could serve you well later.

“That night, that glorious, amazing, wonderful night, I haven’t been able to get it off my mind. Don’t touch me while I’m making a point,” his hand retreats from your knee so quickly. He did want you. He’s just as much of a horny bastard as you, and you’re sure with a breeding kink added the fact that you are swollen with his child makes him that much more needy.

“The sex was fucking amazing, but we’re in a different place now, you and I.”

“Sure,” he agrees, but you can tell his tone lacks conviction. It’s true, you are in a different place.

“I don’t know what your intentions are with me or our child, it’s such new information to you. But I’m not a free sex toy. I get I’m already knocked up, so you could blow your warm, glorious load inside of me,” he snorts, covering his mouth, as he apologizes. “I’m sorry, I’m socially a bit awkward with adults, and I’ve been a bit of a recluse. And I’ve never had a baby daddy before, and I’m trying to finish my first book.”

“Honestly, you’re fine. Your embarrassment is adorable,” aw, he thinks you're adorable, and it infuriates you.

“What I mean is I don’t want to have sex.”

“What?” Is that fucking disappointment in his voice? What the fuck? Were you just a fucking sex doll he could put his cum in? “I didn’t mean it that way. I wasn’t actually thinking about fucking you.”

“Why not?” That is rude. You were thinking about fucking him. And sucking him. Even about kissing each of his balls over and over again, and thanking them for their service before you sucked each in your mouth, and fist his cock. You just weren’t ready for sex, but you wanted it so bad. You were trying to be a respectful mother. And then he can respectfully disrespect you.

“I would very like to fuck you again.”

“Okay,” that is satisfactory enough for now. You know your shoulders shimmy because you may be growing a human, but you are growing his human. It’s different. Since he very much would like to fuck you again it adds a bit of a confidence boost.

“I have been here before. I tried so hard to make it work with Kenton, Izzy’s mom, but all she wanted was my credit card, and not my daughter. And yes, I say mine, because Izzy is all mine. I will fight for her, and I will fight for ours. But I don’t want to fight you. I’m too damn old. And I don’t want to do this alone. Do you?”

You shake your head no as the pesky tears start to fill your eyes. You didn’t want to be a single mom. “Good. But we’ve had one night together. We talked and had fun, but I was too concerned with getting my cock in your tight pussy to be bothered with anything else.”

“You think I have a tight pussy?” Why are the things this man says doing things for you?

He laughs, nodding his head. His shoulders bounce up and down with joy, and he gets the prettiest pink on his cheeks. He is sweet too. “You have the tightest pussy,” aww!! You aren’t sure why that is so sweet and sexy, but it is. He likes your puss!

“What I mean is we’ve got a lot to learn and not a lot of time to do it,” this much is obvious. You’ve been thinking about their life from the moment it was confirmed you were pregnant.

”I know, they’ll be here before you know it.”

“I’ve got more than enough room in my house,” left turn. Left turn. Absolutely not. “The baby would have its own room, and not your office. You could have an office, and even…”

“No.”

“But,” abort mission. Abso-fucking-lutely not.

“I don’t want to move in with you. We just said we can’t jump into having sex.”

“Can you let me finish?” You huff out air, but shut up. Rude. “You would have your own room, too. I don’t like this neighborhood.”

“This is my home!” He is back to hating this neighborhood. Self righteous prick.

“Is this where you’ve always wanted to live?”

“No, but this is mine! If I move in with you, it’s yours. And what if we don’t work out, I’m homeless,” rule number one, don’t let a man dictate your life and tell you what to do.

“I wouldn’t do that to my child.”

“You’d take them away from me like…”

“Stop right now,” you went too far, and you knew it. You knew before you started that sentence you should halt. “I will not argue about my daughter. And I never took her from Ken, she left her. You know the fucked up thing? I can’t get her for abandonment because she left her with her father. She didn’t abandon her. A parent is taking care of her. But we’re not doing this, so if you want to continue the conversation we can, but this isn’t up for debate.”

“Bucky, I’m sorry. I knew I shouldn’t have gone there. You’re a great dad. I would know,” he nods with his jaw tight and tensing, thanking you silently. “I just — this place isn’t much, but it’s mine. And I just don’t want to put myself in a position where a man can take advantage of me, and I’m trapped.”

“How about the money you pay for rent here, you put it into savings, so if anything happens, you have that money.”

“What do you do?”

“I work construction.”

“I’ve had you growing inside of me and I didn’t know that. Or your name. So this is fast. And I’m overwhelmed. It’s so much. It’s too much sometimes. And moving in with you seems so permanent, but,” tears start pouring out of your eyes because your dreams of becoming a mother never started off like this. You knew life and fiction were not the same thing and you knew that you could be in worse positions, but this is so confusing.

“I want our baby to have both of us in their life, and I don’t want to go between homes, and I don’t want to get up with the baby by myself all night long. And this apartment smells funny in the summer, and I do hate it. And my car had a flat tire the other day, and I was late to work because my dad couldn’t get here, and he found out my tire was slashed, and I’m not a terrible tenant, but I’m so scared.”

“Come here,” he doesn’t even wait for you to get up, he just pulls you into his lap. Resting his chin on top of your head as you wail. Why is all that fucking shit just pouring out of you? Why can you not control these damn tears? It’s his fault. You had every word planned out, and then he gets here, and everything evaded you.

“I can’t even nest. And the books say to nest, but our baby’s room is a mess. It’s so ugly. And I can’t paint here, and I don’t know if my lease can have another human. And they’re going to be human,” of course your baby was a fucking human. What else were they supposed to be? “I’m a basket case.”

“You’re pregnant, baby,” why did that sound so sweet? Ugh, he feels so warm and hard and so right. “Shh, it’s okay. We can get you an apartment closer to my house.”

“But I don’t want to be alone with a baby. I’ve never done this before.”

“I know, but I have done this. It’s okay. It’s going to be fine. You can have your own room. And it’s an open invitation, okay?” Why is it hard? Why did this decision give you so much pause and anxiety? Ugh, you hate this. Because moving in feels like you’re drowning. Giving it all up so quickly for a man. But if you had to make it work.

“I don’t want to just be roommates that have a child.”

“I don’t either,” he almost growls in your ear. “We can start off slow, and go on dates. Like out of the house.”

“Bucky?”

“Hmm?”

“What are you going to tell Izzy?”

“Fuck,” one word, and you feel the same. This is confusing to you, and she’s a child. Izzy knows you’ve been pregnant, and out of all the kids in your class, she loved it. Always asked to touch your belly, and to go to the baby’s birthday shower. It’s so cute. But how is she going to handle dealing with the fact that your baby is also her daddy’s baby?

“We’ll figure it out,” that’s better than nothing, but leaves a lot to the imagination. What did that mean? “Shh, try to rest. I’ll keep holding you as long as you need,” this is so sweet, and it’s going to be hard because fuck him and his fucking amazing cock. But it will be worth it for you and your unborn child to take things slow. So fucking slow.

Masterlist

Taglist: @tis-thedamn-season @marveloustaylortot @buckybarnesisdaddy @theinheriteddutchess @w1nter-wolf-barnes1 @distractingbeth @mdpplgtz03 @sjsmith56 @winterslove1917 @ryuuisthecutest @buckybarnessimpp @slowdownbeforeyouregretit @ozwriterchick @kandis-mom @thedonswife13 @sarahdonald87 @pono-pura-vida

#see through my eyes #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x fem!reader #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes fics #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes fanfic #single dad!bucky #single dad au #accidental pregnancy au

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webslingingslasher · 1 year

Note

I LOVE ETHAN SM like that’s the goat right there <3 I love the friendship he has with trouble 🥹

also when/if Ethan had a partner they’d for sure team up with reader so they can double attack Peter and Ethan with their combined wit 🤝 and the boys are just like…wtf did we do…

both of you giggling, half running into the game room. peter and ethan sat next to each other on the couch, a playstation controller in their hands.

you share a look with taylor, the girl next to you. both of you clasp your hands behind your back and bounce on tiptoes.

“hi boyfriend,” peters eyes leave the screen for less than a nanosecond to look at your face, already suspicious. “hi.”

“hi boyfriend,” taylor mimics, ethan pokes his tongue out the corner of his mouth, pressing buttons harder like it’d save him. “sup?”

“we were thinking…” you tease the words, neither boy shows a reaction. it’s time to double down, glancing at each other for the go ahead you approach peters side and start to mount his lap.

“no, no, no! don’t do this to me, trouble.” his heads bobbing around your body for a clear look at the screen, his character desperately trying to scramble to hide before he was shot.

ethan’s girlfriend hiking her leg over his lap at the same time.

“tayl- oh god damn it, your big ass head got me killed.” ethan drops his controller to his lap while he watches his killer dance on his body. taylor smiles and kisses at his cheeks, pushing her face away he talks to peter as he’s collecting kills.

“you gotta win this for us, don’t let the estrogen win. this is what they want, power through it, parker.”

you kiss at peters sweet spot, he leans ever so slightly into your mark but straightens up and focuses on the approaching storm.

“peter,” you whine out his name, tugging at the curls around his ears. “pay attention to me! we have to talk to you guys.”

ethan celebrates when peters down to three other players, taylor frowns at the lack of attention, she brings it to a whole new level.

“i guess they don’t care about the pregnancy pact, oh well.” taylor starts to scramble off, ethan wacks peter a good one, before hunkering her to his lap.

peter smirks, building a quick wall to hide behind before looking at his friend. “don’t let the estrogen win.”

last effort, like an annoying toddler. you both rapid fire their names.

“ethan, ethan, ethan, ethan, eth-“

“peter, peter, peter, peter, pe-“

peter drops his controller, his hands squeezing tight around your waist and pulling you into him. “you’re being a real menace today, trouble.”

ethan silences his girlfriend with a hand over her mouth, “my brain is melting and i’ll kill you.” taylor tugs at his wrist, ethan rips it away with a gag, “you licked me!”

“this is your fault, parker. you see what your girlfriend has turned mine into? she’s made her into trouble 2.0, it’s despicable.”

taylor stopped him with a kiss, “this is why you always win, it’s so unfai-“ another kiss.

your turn, tapping on his shoulder he gives you his full attention. “what is it, my baby? you have my full attention.” you give him a peck.

“taylor and i have come to the agreement that you’ll take us to see the barbie movie and get dinner after.”

“i’m so glad you’ve decided for us.” sarcasm on peters end.

“is this a watch the movie movie or make out movie movie.” taylor tucked some hair under ethans hat.

“oh no, we’re watching it, lovie.”

“i’d rather eat glass, lovie.”

you frown and tsk, “i told you they don’t care about us. we can just go taylor, maybe we’ll find some boys that wouldn’t mind seeing the barbie movie with us.”

“ugh, you’re so right. ethan told me he loved me but i guess he was lying.”

“same with peter, he actually hates me. he loves making me unhappy.”

peter and ethan stare at each other while taylor and you bounce between a ‘who’s boyfriend hates them more’ contest.

in tandem, your thighs are slapped, taylor jumps slightly, you pout.

“alright. barbie movie. let’s go.”

it’s clear you’ve been showing taylor the ropes, because peter can hear you mumble out as you walked out behind them, “i told you the ‘you don’t care’ thing works every time.”

#peter parker blurb #peter parker x reader #tasm!peter x reader #tasm! peter parker x reader #peter parker fluff #my writing #frat!peter

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inmyglenpowellera · 3 months

Text

Bad Reputation Part 2 | Jake "Hangman" Seresin x Taylor Swift inspired!OC

Request: Requested by @akornsworld

Word Count: 9678 words

Summary: There's that saying for some people, “You can't go home again.” When you grow up and leave, that's it, you don't go back home. Presley Joann Benjamin (stage name Presley Jo) believed that was the case for her. Never did she think she would be right back where she started. But her Aunt insisted it was the best for her. She thought for sure her life and career were over until she meets a certain cocky aviator.

Warnings: Alcohol use, angst, maybe some cursing, fluff, crying, Jake being an absolute gentleman

A/N: SURPRISE, I'm not dead, life just sucks ass. Here's an extra-long chapter to make up for my sucking. Hope you like it, I promise the next chapter will have the sexuals. The tag list will be at the end of each chapter.

Chapter 1 Chapter 3

You’d think that after Hangman’s smug answer of still getting my number and buying me a drink, he would have immediately jumped at the opportunity to do so. But that wasn’t the case, much to my confusion. I continued showing up to The Hard Deck to help Penny with various tasks before opening, seeing the aviators there every time, minus Bradley who was apparently out of town packing his items in Virginia to send here. (The Dagger Squad has recently become a permanent fixation in Fightertown). However, despite the number of times I have seen the blonde aviator in the past week, he has yet to make another attempt at getting my phone number. Sure there was still the near-constant flirting, but otherwise nothing.

I was, once again, playing the piano in The Hard Deck, losing myself in the music, when the front door burst open and caught Penny and I’s attention.

“Now I know that beautiful piano playing can only come from my very own star student,” a voice yelled out as they walked into the bar.

I let out a squeal of glee at the sight of a Hawaiian shirt, mustache, and aviators walking further into the bar.

“Bradley,” I called out, running over to him and jumping into his arms, wrapping my legs around his waist.

“How you doin’ Queenie? I leave for a month to pack up my old place and you move back into town,” Bradley greeted me with an equal amount of excitement, holding me up by my thighs and spinning me around before releasing me.

“I’m great, Killer. Glad you’re back. It’s been boring here with Penny and Mav. The only amusement I have is Amelia,” I told the older male.

“Now I know that’s a lie,” Maverick said as he walked in the door behind us.

“You know I’m joking, Mav,” I called out to him as he walked past us towards Penny.

“That's not what he's talking about,” Penny smirked at me with a knowing look.

I widened my eyes and slightly shook my head.

“What are they talking about,” Bradley asked me, going into protective older brother mode.

“Nothing, ignore them,” I reassured him, shrugging the two older adults off.

Bradley nodded in acknowledgment before a look of concern took over his face. “Hey, do you want to talk about it?”

I didn’t have to have so many hints to know what he was referring to. “Not right now. You’re back and I’m happy. Let’s not bring down the mood.”

Bradley nodded at me in understanding before gripping my hand in his own.

“But you know what would make my mood even better,” I offered up.

“What,” Bradley asked me curiously.

“If you play our song,” I requested, leading him towards the piano.

“Oh, god. Please don’t make me,” Bradley groaned sarcastically, willingly following me towards the piano.

“Pleeeeease,” I begged him with a grin.

“Fine,” he agreed, sitting on the bench with me.

“Yay,” I cheered, wrapping my arms around him in a quick hug.

Bradley settled in and ran his fingers over the keys, lightly playing a few before settling his fingers on the correct keys.

“Do I really have to play it right now,” Bradley slightly whined.

“Yes, it's been so long since you played me the only song you helped me write,” I nudged him.

“You wrote it, I merely assisted with occasional input. You should be the one to play it,” he argued with me.

“Bradley Nicholas Bradshaw, just play the damn piano,” I said sternly, focusing a glare on him.

“Alright, alright,” he huffed out.

Bradley began playing the opening notes to my song “Ours.” He nudged me to try and get me to sing, but all I did was shake my head with a hesitant smile. He furrowed his brows, concern in his eyes for a brief moment before he looked back at the piano. I quietly watched him play and propped my head on his shoulder as he did. I could see Penny and Mav working and watching the two of us out of the corner of my eye, whispering to each other now and then. I rolled my eyes at the two of them and continued watching Bradley until the front door opened again. I tensed up and Bradley stopped playing, moving to wrap his arm around my shoulders and place a kiss on the top of my head.

“Hangman, you’re early,” Mav said to the blonde aviator in surprise.

“Yeah, well, nothing wrong with being ahead of schedule,” He explained to Mav with his classic Hollywood smile.

I rolled my eyes at his words and sighed, leaning further into Bradley.

“Well congratulations on being early, Hangman, why don’t you go ahead out to the beach and claim your spot for the day,” Bradley offered up, trying to get rid of him for me.

“I will, once I get a beer,” Jake told him, moving to stand in front of Penny.

The woman nodded and started grabbing it for him, causing him to turn and lean against the bar, his stare burning into the side of my head, unrelenting. I removed myself from Bradley’s side and placed my hands on the keys, filling the silence of the space once again. Bradley placed his hand on my knee while I played and nudged me now and then in an attempt to mess me up. I would just laugh and nudge him back and continue playing until Jake spoke up.

“What, no good morning for me, Darling?”

I stopped playing and briefly glanced up at him with a blank face. “Good morning, Hangman.”

Jake’s face became a look of confusion at me calling him “Hangman” instead of “Jake” or “Mr. Eastwood.”

“So you two have met already,” Bradley realized, his hand on my knee tightening slightly.

“Yep,” I said simply, continuing my playing.

“Why didn’t you tell me,” He asked me curiously.

“Because it was nothing worth discussing,” I informed him, ignoring the hurt look that briefly flashed on Jake’s face.

“I’m sure that’s not true sweetheart,” Jake tried arguing.

“It is. Considering you haven’t said much to me since then,” I argued with him, looking up at him with a blank face.

Jake remained silent, staring at me in deep thought. All I did was shrug at him and gesture my head towards the back door.

“Looks like your beer is ready for you Hangman. Better go claim your spot on the beach before everybody else shows up.”

The five of us went silent after my words, Jake staring at me in shock. The silence remained for a few seconds before Mav cleared his throat.

“Presley, we left a few things in Bradley’s truck, you wanna help him grab them real quick and take them down to the beach?”

I silently nodded at him before standing from the piano bench. I gripped Bradley’s hand in my own and pulled him out the front door with me to the Bronco. What I missed when I was exiting was Jake glaring at our hands with disdain.

A few hours later, Dogfight football was over and the aviators were clearing out to go home and clean up before returning to the Hard Deck for Friday night drinks. Mav and Bradley returned inside to tell Penny and me they were leaving and would be back later. I smiled at the two men in acknowledgment and wrapped myself around Bradley like a koala bear once again, causing him to laugh and place his hands under my thighs. Our laughs were cut off by the back door of the bar opening and Hangman walking in, a small garbage bag in his hands. He looked between the two of us and glared, rolling his eyes before looking at Penny.

“Penny my dear,” He called out, causing Penny to turn to him. “Where do you want me to put this?”

“Oh, you can go ahead and take it out to the dumpster. Presley, can you show him where it is,” Penny called back to me.

I sighed and nodded, Bradey releasing me back to the ground. I began walking towards the kitchen doors, through the kitchen, and to the side door that leads to the dumpster.

“You know, I didn’t realize you had a boyfriend. If I knew that I wouldn’t have tried to get your number,” Jake said to me as he walked past me and threw the trashbag in the dumpster.

“I don’t have a boyfriend,” I told him, furrowing my brows in confusion. “And don’t use that as an excuse for how you have been the past week.”

“I’m not using it as an excuse, even though I have no idea what you mean. And I’m talking about how you have been acting today with Rooster,” Jake told me, placing his hands on his hips.

“Rooster,” I said in confusion.

“Yes, Rooster,” Jake nodded.

I stared at him for a second with confusion still on my face. “Who the fuck is Rooster?”

“Bradshaw,” He supplied for me.

Realization ran over me like a truck. “Bradley?” Jake nodded at me. “Bradley Bradshaw?”

“Yes,” Jake told me impatiently.

“Bradley’s not my boyfriend,” I told him with a shake of my head.

“He’s not,” He asked me in confusion.

“No. He’s not. He’s like my brother,” I explained to him.

“Oh…,” Jake said meekly.

“Jesus Christ,” I sighed out to myself, shaking my head and moving to go back inside.

“Well, can I get your number then,” Jake called after me.

I stopped in my tracks and looked back at him. “No,” I shouted at him in disbelief.

“Why not,” He asked me in an offensive tone.

“Why not? Did you seriously just ask me that,” I questioned him back in disbelief. “I can list off all of the reasons if you would like me to. Let’s start with the fact that you basically ignored me all week and just made a little flirtatious comment here and there.”

“I wouldn’t say I ignored you,” He argued with me.

“Really? Then what would you call it, Hangman,” I questioned him.

Jake went quiet as he looked up at the sky in thought, trying to decide what he was going to say.

“Exactly,” I scoffed.

“Okay, fine, I’ll admit that my actions the past week haven’t been the best. But please don’t let that affect the image you have of me. I’m just Jake, stop calling me Hangman,” Jake shrugged at me.

“Should I also add on the fact that you thought the guy who I grew up with was my boyfriend,” I offered up, causing him to wince.

I once again rolled my eyes and turned around, opening the door to go back inside. I made it halfway through the kitchen before Jake grabbed my arm and stopped me from walking any further.

“Okay, Presley, I’ll admit it, I was a jackass. A complete Jerk. I’m sorry. Just, please give me a chance to show you the real me. Okay? Not Hangman, Jake. Let me get your number, let me take you on a date. Whether that is to just get drinks or an actual dinner,” Jake begged me.

“Why are you so desperate to go on a date with me, Hangman, huh,” I questioned him curiously, turning to look at him with a glare.

“First of all, I believe I told you to call me Jake,” he told me, raising a single finger in my face. “Second-”

He didn't get to continue when I cut him off by grabbing his finger and pulling his hand out of my face. “Don't put your finger in my face.”

Jake let a small smirk come over his lips before throwing his hands up in surrender and stepping back from me. “Sorry, Darlin’.”

“Don't call me Darlin’ either,” I demanded, imitating his accent and crossing my arms over my chest.

“How about sweetheart instead,” Jake offered up, his smirk widening as he shoved his hands in his shorts pockets. My glare hardened at his words, causing him to shrug in acknowledgment. “Alright, I get it, nicknames are off the table.”

I scoffed and rolled my eyes, shaking my head at him.

“What do you want from me? An autograph? Private show for you and your closest friends and family? The chance to say you went on a date with and stole “The Princess's” innocence? Because I can promise you, that ship sailed long ago,” I rattled off.

“Honestly,” Jake asked me, not taking his eyes full of clear amusement off of me.

“No, lie to me,” I sarcastically replied with an eye roll.

Jake let a chuckle of amusement escape before stepping close to me once again. “I want a chance.”

“A chance for what,” I huffed.

“A chance to be able to show you how you deserve to be treated. To stand on your doorstep holding flowers on our first date, tell you that you look absolutely beautiful before walking you to the car, where I will open the door for you and help you into your seat, which, FYI, won’t be the only time I open the door and help you into your seat that night. I want a chance to walk you back up to your door at the end of the night and tell you, for probably the thousandth time that night, how beautiful you look and tell you “No thank you, I don’t want to join you inside.” Because let’s be honest, you are going to be so impressed and obsessed with me by the end of the night you’ll want nothing more than to get me into bed with you, but you deserve more respect than that so I’ll just place a kiss on your cheek, tell you I’ll call you, watch you walk inside, and wait till I hear the lock click before leaving just to be sure that you got in safely.” He said softly with an equally soft smile, looking down at me with adoration in his eyes.

I shook my head at him with a small laugh of disbelief. “Is that all?”

“No. Finally, I want a chance to go home at the end of the night, and text you “Goodnight beautiful, sweet dreams”, you be the last thing on my mind before I go to sleep and the first when I wake up, and text you “good morning sweetheart” with a little winky face emoji despite how much I despise the use of them,” He finished, winking at me.

I stared at him in silence for a moment, taking him and his words in. Weighing the pros and cons in my head, the pros very obviously outweigh the cons in numbers but not in severity. I looked down at the floor, taking in my Converse and his sandals shoes before sighing and looking up at the aviator.

“My favorite flowers are white roses and blue baby’s breath, and I love Italian food,” I told him simply.

He held my stare, nodding in acknowledgment as he tried to hold back a smile. “Noted.”

I shook my head at him again and tried to force down my smile as well. “You can pick me up at 6. If you’re even a minute late, I’m changing into my PJs and watching rom-coms with Amelia.”

“Don’t plan on it, sweetheart,” He reassured me.

I shook my head at him in disbelief once again before turning to walk away from him. “See you tomorrow night.”

“I’m counting on it,” He called out to me as I walked away.

“Okay, what do you think,” I asked Amelia, turning around from my mirror for her and Theo to see the simple high-waisted skirt and tucked-in white button-up I was wearing.

I watched the teen and dog sitting on my bed tilt their heads as I spun around for them to see the whole outfit. I stopped when I was facing them again, watching them scrutinize me. They were silent for a moment before Theo released a small noise, causing Amelia to nod in agreement with him.

“Theo’s right, it’s not nice enough,” She hummed out.

I sighed in frustration and slapped my thighs. “Amelia, this is the third outfit I’ve tried on.”

“Well, keep trying stuff on because we haven’t found the right thing yet,” She told me, causing Theo to bark in what seemed like agreement.

I glared at the two of them before turning back towards my closet and going through my clothes again. I reached the section filled with dresses and began looking through them carefully when Amelia gasped.

“That’s the one! The little black dress, it’s a classic,” She squealed, hopping off my bed and grabbing it out of the closet.

I gasped at her before grabbing it. “Oh, no.”

“Why not,” She asked me in frustration, trying to grab it back.

“Because this dress is special. It’s a third date dress, at least,” I stressed to her, moving it out of her grip and hanging it back up.

“How is it a third date dress,” She argued with me.

I looked over the dress, taking in the straps that were just tied, meaning easy access. I cleared my throat before looking over at her and shrugging. “Reasons.” Amelia rolled her eyes and didn’t look like she was going to let her question go unanswered. “Look, you’re in high school, so you may or may not understand the concept, but when you start to get older you have certain clothing items that you deem third-date material.”

“Like…,” She trailed off.

I rolled my eyes before pointing at the dress. “Like a dress that you feel really… hot… in. Or a bra that shows off the goods.”

“A bra, really,” She asked in disbelief.

“Yes, I have a third date bra. Two actually,” I informed her, crossing my arms over my chest.

“Hm. Can I have a third date bra,” She asked me curiously, placing her hands on her hips.

I sat for a moment in silence, contemplating my answer. “I’ll get you one when you’re older,” I told her turning back to my closet.

I moved my black dress out of the way to look at the next dress, a hum escaping me at the light blue dress hanging in front of me. A simple mini dress with a tiered flowy bottom that ended about mid-thigh and instead of a zipper bringing together the back of the dress there were two bows to tie together.

“That’s it,” Amelia said from over my shoulder, Theo barking once again to seemingly voice his agreement.

I paired the dress with a pair of white stilettos and a white blazer. I lightly curled my light brown hair so it fell in waves and did a simple makeup look with my signature red lips. I decided to do a set of pearl earrings with a matching necklace and bracelet with my mom's rings resting on my right ring finger. I stepped back from my mirror and smoothed my dress down, turning around so I could see the back as well. I released a hum of appreciation for myself when I heard the doorbell ring at 6 o'clock on the dot. I listened to Theo barking and Amelia yelled out that she would get it. I widened my eyes and spun around to grab my clutch before booking it out of my room.

“No, Mia, I got it,” I yelled out to her, rushing through the hallway and down the stairs.

When I reached the bottom, I looked over to see a teenage girl with a dog sitting by her heels interrogating a grown adult man.

“What exactly are your intentions with my cousin,” Amelia asked Jake.

Jake released a chuckle, clutching the flowers in his hands closer to his chest. “I intend to take her to a nice dinner and treat her with the utmost respect.”

“Are you going to hold the door open for her and help her into her seat,” she questioned him, crossing her arms over her chest.

“That was the plan. You can ask her yourself,” he said with a light smirk.

“And if you touch her…,” Amelia trailed off.

“Nothing more than respectful hand-holding and a kiss on the cheek… with her permission of course,” Jake reassured.

“Good, because I may be tiny, but I know people and I have a dog that's ready to defend when necessary,” Amelia threatened Jake, causing his face to contort in amusement.

I chose this time to walk over to the door and wrap my arm around the teenager.

“Okay, Amelia, thank you,” I said to her as I steered her away from the door.

Once she was no longer facing Jake she dropped her stern expression and looked at me with a big grin. “I like him, keep him,” she whispered to me.

“Well, it's hard for me to decide if I want to keep him if I don't go on a date with him,” I whispered back to her, sending her and Theo on their way.

I turned back to the door to see Jake staring at me in amazement. I blushed as he raked his gaze up and down my form before he met my eyes. I let a small smile grow on my face and clasped my clutch in front of me.

“Hi,” I said softly.

“Wow,” Jake released a breath and nodded at me. “You didn't hold back did you?”

I raised my eyebrows in question, causing his smile to widen at my oblivious expression.

“You don't just look beautiful, Darlin’. You look angelic,” he told me.

“Angelic, huh,” I murmured, looking down at my feet before looking at him shyly from under my lashes.

The two of us stood in silence staring at each other for a few seconds before Amelia stepped forward once again.

“Are those for Presley,” she asked, gesturing to the flowers in Jake's hand.

The two of us broke our gaze, I whipped my head around to look at her briefly before looking quickly back at Jake. Jake briefly widened his eyes and looked down at the flowers before looking back up at the two of us.

“Uh, yes, they are,” he said, holding them out to me.

I accepted them and a smirk formed on my lips. “White roses and baby's breath.”

“Yeah, I heard someone say they were your favorite,” he smirked back at me.

I shook my head in amusement at him as Amelia spoke up again.

“I can put them in a vase for you if you'd like?”

I looked back at Amelia and nodded. “Yes, please, Amelia. I would appreciate that. Thank you.”

Amelia nodded back at me and took the flowers from my hands. “I'll put them in your room for you. You have fun.”

“Thank you, Amelia, we will,” Jake told the teenager, reaching forward to grab my hand and therefore sending my attention back towards him.

I raised my eyebrow at him and allowed him to pull me closer to him. Jake smiled at me and pulled me out the door, closing it behind us, and led me to his car.

“Why am I not surprised that you own a pickup truck,” I questioned rhetorically.

Jake's smile widened as he led me to the passenger side. He opened the door and looked at me before shrugging.

“It's part of the cowboy starter pack, along with a hat, boots, a flannel, blue jeans, and a really big belt buckle,” Jake replied sarcastically.

I smirked and shook my head at him. “Is that all?”

“Nope, it also comes with a certain charm that makes it very hard for a woman to say no to me,” He added, a smirk growing on his face too.

“Oh, really,” I asked in a sarcastic tone.

“Mhm,” He hummed.

I rolled my eyes and moved closer so I was standing right in front of him. “I don’t think that’s true.”

“Well, we’re here aren’t we,” Jake said, referring to our date.

I scoffed and went to reply to him, but I cut myself off with a squeal as Jake bent down to pick me up, delicately placing me in his passenger seat. I looked at him with wide eyes as he pulled the seatbelt from where it was resting and reached over me to buckle me in.

“I can do it myself,” I reminded him.

“I know. This way, if you try and run off from me before our date even starts, I know it will take you longer to get out of my truck,” He told me with a wink before closing the door.

I watched him walk around the front of the truck before climbing in on his side and starting the car. He reached over and placed one hand on my seat and looked behind him as he backed out with one hand. I watched with rapt attention and felt myself blush at his actions. Jake glanced over at me when he finished and smirked at my reaction, causing me to roll my eyes and my blush to darken as he drove off toward our destination.

I felt my eyes widen in shock at the restaurant he pulled up to, one of the most expensive Italian restaurants in San Diego.

“Jake, we don’t have to eat here,” I reassured him, glancing over at him quickly.

“You said you wanted Italian. I'm taking you to get Italian,” he told me, getting out of the truck and handing his keys to the valet, jogging around the vehicle to get to my side and open the door for me.

“I would have been perfectly fine with a hole-in-the-wall diner,” I explained, accepting his hand to help me out of the truck.

“Absolutely not. I'm getting the best food for the best girl. You deserve nothing less,” Jake told me, gripping my hand tightly in his and leading me into the restaurant.

“I just want to be sure that you brought me here because you wanted to, not because you felt like you had to because of who I am,” I argued with him, watching him pull the door to the restaurant open and hold it for me.

“Presley, I can promise you that I am bringing you here of my own volition,” Jake reassured me as I walked past him.

Jake held his arm out for me to wrap around before leading me up to the host stand.

“Reservation for Seresin,” Jake told the young woman.

The woman looked up with a bright smile which turned into shock when she saw me.

“Oh, my god. You're Presley Jo,” she gasped out.

“Yep,” I nodded at her looking around and hoping no one else said anything.

“I love your music. You are literally so amazing. I totally don't believe anything that's being said about you by the way. Especially not by that disgusting perv that is now your ex-manager,” she said quickly, causing me to become uncomfortable with the topic at hand.

“Okay,” I said awkwardly, tightening my grip on Jake's arm.

The young girl went to speak again but was cut off by who I'm assuming is the manager.

“Miss Benjamin, if we would have known you were going to be coming to our fine establishment we would have planned for your arrival a little better.”

“Oh, that's not necessary,” I reassured, leaning into Jake.

“Nonsense. I'll get the best table for you,” he told me, beginning to snap his fingers to get a worker's attention.

“That's not- whatever was originally set up for the Seresin reservation is just fine,” I reassured the man, but I was ignored as he walked away to get a table for us.

“So… is this what it's like every time you go out,” Jake asked me curiously after remaining silent the entire interaction.

I sighed and nodded, avoiding eye contact with him. “Sadly.”

We remained quiet for a second before I broke it.

“If you don't want to continue, I understand. You can take me home now and I won't say anything negative to Penny, Amelia, Maverick, or Rooster,” I reassured him, giving him an out if he wanted it.

“I'm not taking you home,” he argued with me.

“Jake, it's fine if you do,” I argued back.

“Presley Joanna Benjamin,” he said above me, causing me to go quiet and stare at him in shock, a slight heat pooling in my stomach at his tone of voice. “I am not taking you home. I said I was going to take you on a date and treat you how you deserve to be treated. Let me do that.”

“Fine,” I said reluctantly, blushing and looking at my feet.

“Thank you. Now enjoy yourself,” he told me, reaching down, grabbing my clutch out of my hand to hold in his own, and intertwining his empty hand with my own.

The manager returned and led Jake and me to our table, which was placed in the middle of the room for everybody to see. Everyone stared at the two of us as Jake pulled my chair out for me before going around the table to sit on his own. The waiter came and took our drink orders, wine for me, and whiskey for Jake. We were just beginning to look at the menus when a flash went off from next to me. I looked over to see a young girl with her family holding her phone up towards me.

“Oh, no. Please don't post that,” I begged the girl, beginning to push my seat back from the table.

Jake lifted his head and looked at me in confusion before following my gaze. He noticed the girl tapping on her screen and sighed.

“Presley,” Jake whispered to me, trying to get my attention.

“Seriously, please don't,” I begged her, ignoring him.

The girl looked up from her phone and smirked. “What, scared for everyone to find out you tricked another guy into dating you?”

I gulped at her words and fought back the tears.

“I never tricked anybody into dating me,” I told her quietly.

“Tell that to the paparazzi when they get here,” she said smugly before posting the photo.

I could feel the color drain from my face at her actions and continued staring at her phone in horror. I immediately grabbed my clutch off the table and stood from my seat.

“We have to go,” I announced to Jake.

“Presley, we just got here,” Jake argued with me.

“Yes, and believe it or not even though we live in San Diego, the paparazzi will be here in about 5 minutes, 10 if we're lucky. And considering I've been sneaking around and staying out of trouble, they're going to be even more desperate to get my picture,” I argued back with him, turning away from the table and beginning to walk to the exit.

“Presley, hold on, just wait,” Jake called after me, jumping from his seat and rushing after me.

I made it to the lobby of the restaurant before Jake grabbed my arm and stopped me in my tracks, pulling me towards him.

“Presley, let's just wait a second, okay,” he said calmly, soothingly rubbing my arms.

“I don't have time to just wait a second, Jake. What do you not understand about that," I told him, my frustration building.

“Pres, come on, just talk to me,” he begged me, leaning down to look into my eyes.

“I will be more than happy to talk to you in the car. Come on,” I told him, tilting my head towards the door.

“I'm not going to get the car, alright? Let's just sit down, have a drink, and-”

“I DON’T HAVE THE LUXURY TO JUST SIT DOWN IN PUBLIC AND HAVE A DRINK AND A NICE CONVERSATION, JAKE, OKAY,” I yelled, cutting him off.

Jake went quiet and stared at me in shock, dropping his hands from my arms and down to his sides. He opened his mouth to speak again, but I continued before he could.

“You’re asking me to do something I haven't had the luxury of doing in a very long time because people are always on my ass just waiting for the second I screw up all so they can capture it on film and sell it to the highest bidder. And if you want a good example of that, well just look at what they're saying about me right now all because I refused to let some perv use me to his advantage,” I blurted out.

“Presley-,” he started again.

“No you just don't get it, Jake, okay,” I cut him off, tears building up in my eyes from my frustration.

“Then help me to understand,” he begged me.

I looked into his bright green eyes and took a deep breath.

“This isn't something that I can explain and you just magically understand, Jake. This has been my entire life for the past 10 years,” I snapped out.

Right as I finished my statement, a crowd began forming out in front of the restaurant, flashes going off as the cameras pointed at us. I looked over and stared at them for a moment, sighing in frustration before looking at Jake.

“And now it's going to be yours for the next 10 minutes. Enjoy,” I shrugged at him, gesturing towards the large crowd before walking towards the exit.

“Presley,” Jake called out, trying to get me to stop. “At least let me drive you home,” he called out to me.

“No, thank you,” I called back to him, pushing the front door open and beginning my trek through the paparazzi.

All of them began shouting questions at me as the valet began trying to help me shove through the group. Asking me questions like where I've been hiding, what are my plans for my career, and the dreaded when will I speak out on what has happened? I kept my head down and pushed my way through the crows of yelling and flashing lights. When I reached the curb, the valet assisted me in calling a cab, waving his arm around to grab the attention of the car. I sighed out a quick thank you and handed him some spare cash I had in my clutch before climbing in and shouting my address to the driver and telling him to step on it. The last thing I saw as I drove away was Jake standing in the doorway of the restaurant with a heartbroken look.

When I got home I immediately walked up to the front door, dug my house keys out of my clutch, and unlocked the door. I walked in threw my keys down in the bowl and slipped my heels off as Theo came running around the corner to greet me. I turned and locked the door before throwing my clutch on the cabinet in the entryway.

“Hey, buddy,” I sighed, rubbing his head before walking into the living room.

“Hey, that was quick,” Amelia said to me in shock, looking over the back of the couch at me.

“We didn’t even make it to the appetizers,” I said blandly after releasing a groan.

“That bad,” Amelia asked curiously.

I walked into the living room and collapsed on the couch with a sigh. Amelia adjusted her blanket so it was covering the two of us and Theo hopped on the couch between the two of us after her actions. He spun around a few times before settling, his head resting in my lap.

“Some girl there posted a picture of me, the place was swarming with the paparazzi within 5 minutes,” I explained to her.

“Oh, Lee, I’m so sorry,” Amelia told me, adjusting herself so her head was resting on my shoulder in comfort.

“It’s okay, kiddo. It's not like it was your fault. It’s my fault for thinking I could live a somewhat normal life,” I reassured her, running my hands through her hair.

“So, did Jake drop you off,” She asked me curiously.

“No, I got into an argument with him and got a cab home,” I answered.

“Oh,” she groaned in sympathy for me. “Do you think you’ll give him another chance?”

“It’s not me giving him another chance you should worry about. It’s whether or not he’ll give me another one,” I explained. Amelia lifted her head and went to respond but I cut her off. “Let’s stop talking about my total disaster of a first date and just enjoy the rest of the night together.”

“Okay, fine,” Amelia agreed reluctantly with a sigh.

“Great! Now what are we watching?”

“The Proposal.”

“I love it. I’ll get changed and get snacks,” I told her, moving to get up from the couch.

Amelia laughed as I walked out of the living room and towards the stairs, but I stopped when the doorbell rang.

“Amelia, are you expecting somebody,” I called out to the teenager.

“No,” She called back.

I walked up to the front door and flicked the lock, opening it to find Jake standing on the other side.

“Jake,” I said in shock, looking out behind him and up and down the street.

“None of them followed me if that’s what you’re checking for,” He reassured me.

I looked back at him and sighed. “What are you doing here?”

“I wanted to make sure you got home safely,” He explained, nervously looking down at his feet before looking me in the eye.

“Well, thank you,” I told him hesitantly.

Jake nodded at me in acknowledgment as the silence between us began to hang. The first awkward silence to ever occur between the two of us.

“You can-” “I just want to-”

The two of us spoke at the same time, causing both of us to immediately pause and stare at each other.

“What were you about to say,” Jake asked me, gesturing for me to go on.

“Oh, no. You can go first,” I reassured him.

“What I have to say can wait,” Jake told me.

“Jake, what I was going to say isn’t important. What were you going to say,” I asked him.

Jake stared at me silently, the furrow of his brow letting me know he was deep in thought, deciding what he was going to say.

“I just want to say, I'm sorry and you were right,” he released.

I stared at him in shock as he continued.

“I don't understand what you go through daily, or what you went through for the past 10 years. I don't understand how hard it must be for you to try and do anything normal because I've never experienced your life myself. Seeing what you were going through tonight, the good and the bad, made me realize how different we and the lives we live are,” he told me, causing dread to build in my stomach, knowing the next words to come out of his mouth are going to break me.

“But that doesn’t change the fact that I would love nothing more than to get to know you and for you to talk to me. Help me understand what it is that you deal with in your life. Tell me what I can do to earn your trust and support you. Because, darlin’, I plan on being here for the long run.”

I widened my eyes in shock at his words and felt tears well up in my eyes as well. I have never had a guy step up and tell me such things. They’ve always been takers. People are more interested in my fame than in working to understand me for who I am. Who I can be when you take away that part of me. I took a deep breath and then released it, looking at my feet briefly before looking back at the blonde aviator.

“If you’ll have me, that is,” Jake added nervously, clearly concerned about my silence.

I gave him a soft smile. “I think that can be arranged.”

I could see Jake visibly relax at my words. It was almost as if he had 100 pounds of weight lifted off of his shoulders. His nervous look changed to one of glee, and he turned his charm back up.

“Thank goodness, because I didn’t know what I was going to do with this if you said no,” Jake said, reaching over to the side of the porch.

I watched him lift a plastic bag with a couple of styrofoam containers, a bottle of wine wrapped in a brown paper bag, and a large pizza box. I chuckled in amusement while shaking my head before looking at the man with a questioning look.

“I promised you Italian,” He said simply with a shrug.

“You are…,” I trailed off, not knowing the exact words I wanted to use for the man.

“Hopefully the words you are looking to end that with are all positive,” He said with a grin. “Can I come inside? We can talk everything over.”

I grinned and went to answer, but I was cut off by a voice whispering “Say yes” behind me. Jake and I shared a look of amusement and I released a small chuckle.

“You know, I was unsure about my answer at first, but I just have this small, nagging, annoying voice telling me I should let you in,” I told him with a smirk.

“Hey,” Amelia whined out at my insults.

Jake released a chuckle at the teenager as well and peeked slightly in the door to see the teenager hiding around the corner.

“Well, I think you should listen to the all-knowing and wise voice,” Jake directed at me while looking at Amelia and giving her a wink. “Especially because the pizza is getting colder as we speak.”

I shook my head at him in amusement before opening the door wider. “Would you like to join me upstairs?”

Jake’s smile widened before nodding. “I would love nothing more.”

Jake walked in the door and removed his shoes, placing them next to my own. I turned around to make my way to the kitchen to grab a wine opener and glasses, but I was shocked to find my teenage cousin standing in the doorway already holding the items out to me. I shook my head at her in amusement before stepping forward and accepting the items from her.

“Raincheck on The Proposal,” I asked her with a pout.

“Ryan Reynolds will just have to wait,” Amelia agreed with an exaggerated sigh.

The two of us laughed together before I turned and led Jake upstairs to my room. Jake followed me silently through the hallway until we reached my bedroom, taking in everything while I closed the door, leaving it open a few inches. Jake set everything on my desk while I grabbed my blanket off of the bed and laid it down on the floor, grabbing a few pillows and laying them down as well. Jake removed his leather bomber jacket with all of his navy patches and rested it over the back of my desk chair. I took a seat on the floor and he followed me soon after, placing the food on the floor before taking a seat.

“I have to say, I didn’t think this would be the first time I would be in your room,” Jake told me with a smirk as he grabbed the wine opener.

“Yeah, what was that you told me about saying no to coming upstairs on the first date,” I questioned him smugly, leaning back against my bed.

“Hey, now. This is different,” Jake defended with a smile of amusement, a brief chuckle escaping him as he pulled the cork out of the wine bottle.

“Mhm, sure,” I agreed sarcastically, holding my wine glass out towards him to fill.

“It is,” He argued with me as he filled my glass.

“How so,” I asked him curiously.

“Well, for starters, I said I would tell you no to coming inside at the end of our date, and it does not appear to be the end of our date yet,” Jake pointed out, gesturing to the spread of pizza and garlic bread laid out in front of us.

“Okay, you got me there,” I nodded at him as he filled his glass.

“And, I told you that you were going to be so impressed and obsessed with me that you will never want me to leave,” Jake finished off, setting the wine down and placing the cork back inside of it.

“Well what makes you think I’m not already impressed and obsessed with you,” I argued with him.

“I never said you weren’t,” Jake pointed out.

I rolled my eyes at him and chuckled. “Alright, fine. So I might be impressed already, but I don’t think I’ve quite reached the point of obsession yet.”

“Well, our night has only just begun,” Jake said smugly, winking at me with his Hollywood movie star smile.

“Well, then, here’s to my eventual obsession,” I said back just as smugly, holding my wine glass out towards him.

“To your eventual obsession,” Jake cheered with me, clinking his glass against my own.

The two of us drank our wine before digging into our food. Jake handed me a paper plate and napkin from the bag before opening the pizza box, the two of us letting out a groan at the sight of the pizza in front of us.

“Okay, just pick one,” He told me, moving the box closer to me.

“Oh, I get to pick first,” I asked him sarcastically.

“Yep, ladies first,” He told me with a bright grin.

“Are you sure? That’s quite the thing to bestow upon somebody,” I said sarcastically, leaning my head back against the bed.

“I’m positive. Go ahead darlin’,” He told me, nudging the box closer to me.

“Okay,” I told him, grabbing the slice I wanted and folding it so it was easier to eat. “Don’t judge how I eat my pizza. I roll it crust side out because I’m a lady.”

“Hey, no judgment here, honey,” Jake reassured me, grabbing a slice for himself and folding it as well.

I giggled at his actions and held it out to cheer him again before the two of us took a bite of our pizza, releasing groans of pleasure at the deliciousness.

“So, now that we have our date back on track, good food, good wine, and hopefully good company,” Jake listed off, looking over at me at his last words with a hopeful expression.

“Very good company,” I reassured him, taking a bite of my pizza.

“How about we get started on you helping understand everything about you,” Jake offered up.

I went quiet at his words and looked down at my lap. “Are you sure you want that?”

“Like I said Darlin’, I want to be in it for the long run,” He reassured me.

I sighed. “Like I said, this has been my life for 10 years…”

I told him everything. From being discovered to now. All the happy times, all the sad times. The joy of being recognized and winning awards. The sadness of rumors being spread and having my heart broken time and time again. The times when I was made the bad guy even though I did nothing wrong. Then I told him about what caused me to be sent back to San Diego in the first place.

“So what happened with your manager exactly,” Jake asked me curiously.

“Since the beginning, he always seemed a little off. It was almost like he was waiting for something to happen so he could slither his way in and take advantage of me. After my most recent breakup, I was receiving more hate than usual. He started putting in my head that I was losing everything and I was about to be a nobody. A washed-up pop singer who had it all one day then nothing the next. I started to believe him and I was thinking “What am I going to do?” Then I realized that he was lying to me. He was just trying to brainwash me and weaken me.”

“Why,” Jake asked me.

“Because he was a disgusting pig who wanted me for himself. I confronted him about everything, he forced himself on me and said that I would have nothing if it weren’t for him. He told me if I fired him he would tell everybody about what I did to him. Which was nothing. I was nothing but good to him. He told me if I didn’t sleep with him and do whatever he wanted me to do that I was finished. So I told him I would rather be finished than used and abused like a slave. So I fired him and here I am now. Lies being spread about me left and right.”

I went quiet at the end of my explanation, looking down at my lap as I had tears build up in my eyes. Jake remained quiet for a moment as my tears began to stream down my face. I listened to Jake release a sigh before he placed a hand on my knee. He began soothingly rubbing my knee before speaking.

“I am so sorry you had to go through that Presley. You didn’t deserve it. Believe me when I say that and believe me when I say not everybody believes what is being said about you,” Jake reassured me.

“Thank you,” I whispered to him.

He nodded and removed his hand from my knee, bringing it up to wipe my tears from my face. I brought my hand up and grabbed his own, pressing it closer to my face and turning my cheek into his palm. Jake rubbed his thumb against my cheekbone and I turned my head more to press a kiss against the inside of his palm. I gripped his hand in both of mine and brought it down to my lap, intertwining my fingers with his own before looking up at him and looking into his eyes. Jake’s eyes softened when we made eye contact and I could see him release a deep breath that he was holding in. He squeezed my hand before breaking eye contact, looking down at the floor and releasing my hand.

“It’s late, I think I better-”

I cut him off by placing my lips against his own, causing him to gasp in surprise. It was a chaste kiss, an innocent press of the lips against each other for a few moments before I pulled away from him. I opened my eyes and watched Jake do the same, the two of us staring into each other’s eyes once again. Jake’s surprise turned into a smirk not long after I pulled away, and he placed his hand back on my cheek.

“Where do you think you’re going Darlin’,” He said smugly before placing his lips back on my own.

I couldn’t help but smile into the kiss as he continued placing his lips against my own in a dance only we knew with each other. I brought my hands up to wrap around his neck, pulling myself closer to him until I was pressed against him, moving to straddle his hips to become closer to him. Jake’s hands remained respectfully on my hips as we kissed, rubbing his thumb across my hip bone occasionally. I released my hold on his neck to thread one of my hands into the hair at the back of his head and trailed my other hand down to one of his own on my hip, guiding it farther south to rest on my cheek. I allowed myself to grind down on him briefly, causing him to groan into the kiss and break away.

“Darlin’, remember what I said about wanting to treat you how you deserve to be treated and being respectful,” Jake rasped out to me, pressing his forehead against mine. I hummed in acknowledgment of his question. “Well, right now, you’re making it very hard on me to do so, and I think we should stop now and I should leave before we do something we shouldn’t and I’m not able to stop.”

“Who said I want you to stop,” I whispered to him before placing my lips back on his, and he returned the kiss eagerly.

However, our continuation was short-lived by a bark and slobbery kiss being placed on the side of my face.

“Theo,” I groaned out, moving off of Jake so the dog could climb on top of me.

“Well, look at that. Saved by the dog,” Jake said smugly, causing me to glare at him in annoyance. Jake smirked back at me before standing from the floor. “Why don’t you walk me out, Darlin’?”

I sighed before nodding and standing from the floor, lightly pushing Theo off of me in the process. I gripped his hand in my own and walked through the hallway and down the stairs. I looked over into the living room to see Amelia asleep on the couch, Jake following my gaze with a small smile. I shrugged at him before leading him over to the front door.

“Thank you for tonight. I had a really great time,” I told him shyly, gripping his hand in my own.

“Well, I’m glad you did,” He nodded at me, stopping with me in front of the door.

“Maybe we can do this again,” I offered up, playing with his fingers.

“We definitely will, Darlin’. But next time, you're coming to my place,” he smirked at me.

I smirked back. “Is that wise? After what Theo just interrupted.”

“Oh, I can control myself, sweetheart. The question is whether or not you can,” he said smugly, leaning down closer to me.

“I guess we'll just have to wait and see,” I whispered, leaning in closer to him.

“I guess so,” Jake whispered back, leaning in to kiss me once again.

However we were interrupted by the door opening, Penny and Maverick stepping in through the front door. Jake and I froze while the two older adults stared at the two of us in shock.

“Fun night,” Penny asked smugly.

“Nothing happened,” I reassured her before grabbing Jake's hand in my own and leading him out the door.

Penny laughed while Maverick muttered curses under his breath. I shut the door behind me and looked up at Jake.

“Sorry, about that,” I apologized with a blush.

“You have nothing to apologize for,” he reassured me.

I grinned up at him before shaking my head. “I'll see you later then?”

“Definitely,” he nodded at me before leaning down and capturing my lips in another kiss. He pulled away after and smirked. “I had to get at least one more in before we were interrupted again.”

I sighed in frustration. “You sure you don't want to change your opinion on coming back upstairs,” I whined out.

“Trust me, sweetheart, I would love nothing more, but like I said, you deserve better than that,” he told me with a smirk.

I rolled my eyes and pouted at him, causing him to chuckle. Jake leaned forward placed a kiss on my forehead and whispered a “goodnight, sweetheart” before turning around and walking towards his truck.

“You remember this as the day you turned down a popstar,” I called after him.

“I definitely will,” he called back, not turning around.

“You're going to regret this,” I called out again.

“Already am beautiful,” he called back again.

“goodnight,” I called out to him, turning to open the door.

“Hey, Presley,” Jake called out, causing me to turn back around. “I told you you would be obsessed with me,” he smirked at me as he opened the door to his truck.

“Get out of here, Hangman,” I said while laughing, rolling my eyes at him.

I turned around and opened the front door, moving inside and turning around to see Jake standing and waiting for me to close the door. I waved one last time at him, him doing the same before I closed and locked the door. I released a dreamy sigh and turned to lean back against the door. I bit my lip to contain my smile and ran my fingers over my lips as I remembered what it felt like to kiss Jake.

“So, how was it,” Penny asked me curiously, peeking her head out of the kitchen.

“It started horrible but turned into one of the best nights of my life. He was a complete gentleman-”

“Good, I didn't want to have to threaten him,” Mav spoke up as he moved into view from the kitchen.

I rolled my eyes at the man before looking back at Penny.

“Tonight was… amazing,” I told her firmly.

“Good. So, will there be a second date,” she asked me curiously.

“I think there will be many dates,” I reassured her, moving to go upstairs.

“aw, my little girl is in love,” Penny cooed, placing her head on Maverick's shoulder.

“I wouldn't say that… but I think I'm going to stick around for a little while. I might even get my own place,” I shrugged at her before running upstairs as she gasped at my words.

“Presley Joanna, do not play with me like that,” she called after me.

I giggled as I walked into my room and shut the door behind me. I leaned against it and dropped to the floor as I reminisced about my night. I took in the blanket and pillows still sitting on the floor with our trash and glasses from the night. I just shrugged it off and decided to take care of the mess in the morning. I moved to go into my ensuite bathroom but paused in my steps when I noticed something different.

A dark brown leather bomber jacket with a patch reading Hangman still resting on my desk chair.

Taglist: @buckysteveloki-me @hookslove1592

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cuttergauthier · 1 year

Text

Hockey x Football

I hope you love it❤️

(These photos do not belong to me, this is all fanfiction)

Jack Hughes x Female Kelce Reader

Jackhughes

Liked by Ynkelce, Trevorzegras and more

Jackhughes my girl🤍

Tagged ynkelce

View all comments

Ynkelce I love you🤍

→Jackhughes love you more🤍

Elblue06 you guys are the cutest 🥹🤍

→ ynkelce miss you mama hughes🤍

→ Jackhughes Love you mom🤍

Trevorzegras since when do you have a girl?!?!?

→ Jackhughes dude I told you like 6 months ago?

→Trevorzegras I thought it was just a dream🤷🏻‍♂️

→ Colecaufield idiot!!!

→Jackhughes 🤦🏻

Quinnhughes you guys make me feel so single🙄

→Jackhughes then find yourself a girlfriend!

→Ynkelce Jack don’t be rude!!

Alexturcotte she looks familiar 🤔

→ ynkelce 🫣

Jasonkelce You better treat her right!!!!!

→ Jackhughes always!!!

→ Alexturcotte wait a damn minute….

NicoHischier The team likes her more than you!!!

→ dougiehamilton I agree!!!!

Dawsonmercer 🥹🥹

Joshnorris You better not fuck up, i’m pretty sure her brothers could squish you like a bug!!!

→traviskelce You got that right!!!

→Jackhughes 🫣

Ynkelce

Liked by Jackhughes, Traviskelce and more

Ynkelce Apparently I’m more of a hockey fan than a football fan!🤷🏼‍♀️🤩🏒❤️

Tagged Jackhughes, Njdevils

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Jackhughes I’m glad!!😉🤍🤍

traviskelce he’s lucky jason and i actually like him!

→ ynkelce hehe🤭

Donnakelce you two are so cute!!!❤️

→ynkelce Love you mom❤️

→Jackhughes Thanks mama kelce!!!

Trevorzegras I don’t like you, you went and stole my man😭

→ynkelce what can i say, he loves me more!!

→Jackhughes trev why am i friends with you?🤦🏻

→Trevorzegras BECAUSE I’M AMAZING!!!

→Ynkelce are you sure?

→Trevorzegras I’m not talking to you!

→Quinnhughes Trevor stop acting like a baby!!!!!

Patrickmahomes I feel betrayed 😐

→ynkelce Sorry pat!!!!!

→ Colecaufield oh. My. God.

Kyliekelce The prettiest girl ever🤍

→ ynkelce I love you!!! I’m coming to visit you & the kids soon!!!🤍🤍

→ Kyliekelce Can’t wait!!

NicoHischier The better sport!!!!

Dawsonmercer DID YOU SEE MY GOAL?!?!?

→ Ynkelce YES, IT WAS AMAZING!!!

→Dawsonmercer THANK YOU!!

→Jackhughes WHY ARE WE YELLING ?

AlexTurcotte Jack forgot to mention the part where you’re related to Travis and Jason Kelce!

→Jackhughes oups!

Colecaufield YAYY!!

Kansascheifs we are offended!

→Ynkelce Sorry admin😐

Trevorzegras Wait… are the rumour true about taylor swift??

→ynkelce I thought you hated me?

→Trevorzegras Will you tell me if i say it was a joke?

→ Jackhughes Trevor leave my girlfriend alone!

→ Ynkelce Listen to jack!!!!

Ynkelce

Liked by Traviskelce, Jackhughes and more

ynkelce Ignore what i said last time football is back to being my favourite🏈🤍

Tagged Jackhughes, donnakelce, Taylorswift, blakelively, ryanrenolds, ellenhughes

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Jackhughes Can’t argue with that!!

Quinnhughes bring me next time!!!!

→ Ynkelce Definitely!!!!

Alexturcotte Trevor is gonna be jealoussss,

Colecaufield Omg yn I love you for this!!!!!

→ ynkelce 😂😭

→ Jackhughes 🤦🏻

NicoHischier Where was my invite?

→ dawsonmercer or mine?

→ Ynkelce Jack i told you we forgot something 🤦🏼‍♀️

→ Jackhughes my bad boys!

Tysmith Never thought i’d be jealous of jack…

→ Jackhughes it’s because of taylor isn’t it?

→ Tysmith yes!

Jamiedrysdale Oh Trevor is going to love you now😂

→ ynkelce He’s not going to leave me alone now is he?

→ Jamiedrysdale Nope!

Ryanrenolds hockey game next?

→ Blakelively Yes!!!

Blakelively So nice meeting you, we have to hangout again soon!!!!

→ ynkelce Definitely!!!!

Traviskelce The best part was seeing me right?

→ ynkelce sure let’s go with that!

→ Jasonkelce 😂

Trevorzegras YOU HUNG OUT WITH TAYLOR SWIFT?!?!?!?!

Trevorzegras I DON’T HATE YOU ANYMORE

Trevorzegras INVITE ME PLEASE, I WANT TO MEET HER!!

→ ynkelce Maybe… maybe not

→ Trevorzegras PLEASE I’LL NEVER BE MEAN TO YOU AGAIN🙏

→ Ynkelce I’ll invite you next time, NOW STOP TEXTING ME!!

→ Trevorzegras THANK YOU THANK YOU

→ Jackhughes Oh my🤦🏻

Elblue06 the most fun football game ever🤍

→ ynkelce So happy you could make it!!🤍

Taylorswift I love you🤍

→ ynkelce I love youu🤍

→ Trevorzegras OH. MY. GOD. THIS IS REAL!

→ Taylorswift Hi trevor!

→ Trevorzegras sjduywbsudjsj

→ Troyterry so this is why Trevor fainted?!?

→ Jamiedrysdale i think trevor had a heart attack…

→ Ynkelce oups… did you take a video?🫣→ Jamiedrysdale sending it to you now!

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morning-star-joy · 1 year

Text

the darkest little paradise (Joel x F!Reader)

Pairing: Joel x F!Reader, Post-Outbreak

Request: “don’t blame me, love made me crazy if it doesn’t you ain’t doing it right” and “oh lord save me my drug is my baby, I’ll be using for the rest of my life”

Warnings: 18+ MDNI Explicit Smut (unprotected p in v sex, creampie, oral m receiving, masturbation m and f) and Dark Themes including Canon-Typical Violence (Murder, Torture, Blood) related to Hunters, Obsession/Obsessive Love that's quite borderline unhealthy, Possessiveness, Jealousy, Dark!Joel? (but he's still a bit sweet because I can't help it), Unhinged!Reader (she's lowkey crazy ngl), Implied Age Gap

Wordcount: 2121

A/N: Another one for the Taylor Swift inspired oneshot collection! This is definitely different from anything I've written before but it was fun to dive into a darker relationship with Joel. Ty to anon who kindly requested Don't Blame Me.

Joel x Reader Taylor-inspired masterlist

It may just be possible that, after months of aching and pining and wanting, you had a bit of an obsession with Joel Miller.

Having a lover was not a foreign concept to you. In fact, you’ve had many of them; one after another, stringing them along until you became bored, and you’d leave them begging for more as you moved on to the next.

You had a taste for older men in particular, enjoying how you could wrap a world-weary soul around your finger and make them beg.

So when you first saw Joel upon his permanent arrival to Jackson—the fine lines on a weathered face, streaks of gray in those dark curls, the heavy set of burdens from a long life on his tired shoulders—you knew you had to have a taste of him.

It may also be possible that, after months of watching you wide-eyed and flushed as you tried to sneak glances at him from across the room, Joel Miller may be a little obsessed with you too.

From the very first moment you greeted him with a deceivingly shy smile that hid a tantalizing coyness, he had felt a desire to have you. His eyes had narrowed in on your soft mouth, wondering all the sounds he could draw from it, and that fleeting desire slowly kindled into a burning need as time went on.

Days and months were spent without you in his arms or, more importantly, in his bed. Always dancing out of his reach if he just barely got close enough, shooting him that God damned knowing smile—like you knew exactly what he was thinking, knew exactly what he wanted to do to you—whenever he’d see you around town.

Sometimes you’d even be so bold as to send him a wink as you drank with another man late at night in one of the few bars, allowing some other fucking man to eventually take you home instead of letting Joel treat you right.

He would fuck you until you were beyond satisfied if you just let him. Fuck you hard and fast, or slow and sweet if that was how you preferred it (but he knew from the way you bit your lip as you snuck glances over his body that it wasn’t).

Fuck you until your throat was hoarse from screaming his name, until you couldn’t walk for days afterwards. Until he ruined you for anybody else, making it impossible for you to take any dick other than his, or think of anybody else when you touched yourself at night without him.

Joel knew it.

You knew it.

But you didn’t let him, even with that look of unabashed lust in your knowing eyes every time you saw him.

God, you were driving him fucking crazy.

Joel quickly lost track of how many times he had to take matters into his own hands, fucking up into his hand with your face held clearly in his mind, imagining how truly soft those lips would feel wrapped around his cock until he was cumming hard with your name groaned on a hot breath against his pillow.

There was no way for him to know how you already spent your nights in your own bed in a similar fashion, with your hand between your legs to bring yourself to release again and again while picturing how the scratch of that salt and pepper facial hair would feel on the inside of your thighs while he made you cum with his mouth instead of you having to use your own fingers.

Then one day, when Joel showed up unannounced on your back doorstep long after the sun had set—hair a mess and pupils blown wide with desire similar to yours that you had just been trying to satisfy that night with your hand down your panties, alone in bed once again—the tension finally snapped.

“Just one time,” Joel had whispered huskily against your lips after you had stumbled lip-locked to your couch, his hands finding your waist to tug you into his lap. Your bodies pressed together as you moaned into his mouth, letting him explore yours with his tongue, tasting you with his own quiet groan. “Just once.”

“Mhm,” you had murmured deliriously, head tilting back as his lips moved down your neck, teeth scraping and tongue caressing every sensitive spot he could find while you began to grind into him. “Once. Just once.”

You should’ve known better.

Once would never have been enough, not after you had finally gotten a taste of Joel Miller.

Not after watching the color of his eyes deepen with a never-ending desire that you knew wouldn’t be quenched with just one time.

Not after he finally fucked you for the first time, both of you losing yourselves in the heady dance of giving and receiving pleasure, and he really did ruin you completely, dissolving you into a trembling, whimpering mess that knew no name other than his own.

Not after he had felt you in his arms, holding you tightly against him as he bucked up into you, again and again until you came apart in his strong embrace, and he followed right after you, gasping your name against your ear as he filled you up with his cum.

It was a blissful descent into madness that you both fell down into together.

Because as it turned out, this mutual obsession didn’t stop as far as needing each other’s bodies.

The more you ended up in Joel’s bed, the more you wanted him.

You saw that same old, world-weary soul that you had held in your hands countless times from men you couldn’t remember, but for some godforsaken reason, you wanted to treasure Joel’s.

Every time he came with your name on his lips, over and over, and he sank onto the mattress with you afterwards, you wanted to pull him close. You wanted to run your hands through his hair, murmur sweet nothings into his ear as you burrowed yourself into him until you couldn’t tell where he ended and you began.

And when you went out for a night of casual drinks that turned into harmless, habitual flirting with a man you would never truly give the time of day, only for Joel to punch that man square in the jaw—and the nose, and the eye, and the jaw again—when they dared to touch you, you knew that he felt the same.

There was probably something deeply wrong with you, something sick and twisted as you found yourself more attracted to Joel than ever before when you saw his knuckles bloody for you.

That night, after tending to those knuckles with a bandage and a soft kiss pressed to each one, followed by your lips wrapping around his cock to suck him off until he was coming down the back of your throat as he murmured prayers to nobody other than you, you were suddenly blessed with the divinely sinful knowledge that you would not only die for this man, but fucking kill for him.

You had heard the whispers of him since he arrived in town—you knew Joel Miller was a dangerous man. That he lacked mercy, or any real ounce of kindness in his body.

But when you held him at night, stroking his skin with your face pressed against his back as you heard him murmur mindlessly from the horrors that still haunted his mind, you knew that you had been graced with the opportunity to protect this man who had spent his entire life protecting others.

Unfortunately for Joel, he had not heard the whispered rumors that circulated around you. He didn’t know of your long, sordid history with a group of Hunters, didn’t know how you tortured and killed your way through the apocalypse until you eventually hung up your array of knives and guns when you arrived in Jackson—except for when they could be used for the settlement’s benefit, of course.

He didn’t know how your peace of mind balanced on a razor thin line, your sanity a dubious matter that only became more obscure, more dangerous once you had him in your arms.

But upon his realization of your duality—the sweet smile and loving words whispered to him in the dead of night, contrasted to the similar serene smile you had given when you stuck a knife in a Raider’s throat and let them bleed to death at your feet—Joel found himself completely, utterly, hopelessly in love with you.

“Mine,” Joel growled into your ear that night, your wrists clasped in his large hand as he bent you over the side of your bed and fucked into you from behind.

He stared at your smaller hands held helplessly in his, the ones he had seen mercilessly delivering death left and right earlier that day, and groaned as he listened to the sounds of your moans, so loud you had to be keeping up the whole street.

“That’s right, love, tell them my name,” Joel grunted as he bucked into you, making you beg for more, more, always more of him while he continued to order you, “Tell them who makes you cum. Tell them who you belong to.”

“Joel!” you gasped, cheek pressed against the blanket as your legs began to tremble, his other hand rubbing your clit at a fast, steady pace until you were coming apart completely, gloriously, all because of him.

After he would cum inside of you, he’d leave you to settle on the bed as he retrieved a warm washcloth to clean you up diligently before pulling you onto his chest with soft murmurs of “was that too much?” and whispered promises of “love you, always love you,” an oath that you would return with the sweet press of your lips to his, over and over.

Even then, Joel hadn’t realized how truly far gone over the edge he was for you until you were taken from him.

A run-in with some hunters on a patrol, resulting in you being taken captive, had set Joel off in a way nobody could have expected, even him. He was out of Jackson’s gates before hearing a complete appraisal of the situation, armed with his rifle and revolver even though he needed nothing more than his bare hands to do what needed to be done.

His vision was so red he couldn’t even see the faces of each victim that fell to one of his bullets or his arm around their neck. The entire time he fought to get to you, the only thing he could think, the only thing he could hear through the blood rushing through his head was your name, over and over.

With the blood spilled on the ground, staining his clothes and dripping down his fingers, soaking his palms and dripping from his elbows, all he could think of was you, you, you.

And then he had you again, pulled into his arms with a breath of relief that, even though bloody and broken, you were still here, still with him.

For days after, sex was the last thing on both of your minds. The only thing Joel cared about was your recovery, treating and redressing your wounds around the clock, making sure you had anything that you needed, when all you ever really needed anymore was him.

When enough time had passed that you had begun to wake up with an ache throbbing between your legs to have him deep inside of you, Joel finally satisfied you, slipping his cock in and rocking into you with your legs thrown over his shoulders, moaning into your mouth as you pleaded him for more, more, more.

Only when you quite literally couldn’t take any more, sweat pouring down your body as it trembled from overstimulation, with Joel’s cum dripping from your pussy and down your legs, did you both collapse back onto the bed with heavy pants.

You rolled over onto your stomach, dancing your fingers down every wrinkle etched across his face, humming in content as you knew you would do whatever it took to keep him as in love with you as he was now.

Because loving Joel Miller was not only a fucking drug that you were addicted to, but the last thread of your sanity that barely kept you together.

And you were his last saving grace, the fragile peace he had built his life around, the poison he would drink just to give himself some sense of relief, some sense of purpose in the unwavering devotion of your love.

Now that you had this dark paradise, you would seal your own terrible fates forever not to let it go.

#joel miller x reader #joel x reader #joel x f!reader #joel x reader smut #joel miller smut #joel miller fanfiction #dark joel miller #joel miller one shot #joel miller drabble

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luvhughes43 · 1 year

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cheer up day | dad!jamie drysdale

lila, my love au masterlist💐

request: jamie having to watch lila and having trouble so him & trev have some fun watching her while moms out

word count: 0.6k

“lila, baby, mommy will be back home soon! please don’t cry,” jamie pleaded to his freshly one year old daughter. his efforts went largely unnoticed by the young girl, who started wailing louder upon hearing her dads words. lila wasn’t used to not having her mom around, and this weekend proved difficult.

y/n was gone back to canada for the weekend to visit her sick grandmother. she hadn’t wanted to take lila on the long flight back to toronto and with jamie having hockey practice during the weekend, it just made sense for the two of them to stay at home. jamie wished he had fought harder to go.

“lila! lila-bell look!!” jamie tried a new strategy, which included waving lilas favourite stuffed bunny around and making it dance and sing. “i shake it off ! i shake it off off off!” he sang poorly, twisting and shaking the teddy as he continued the song.

lila seemed appeased for a moment, smiling gummily at her father before she realized she was still missing her mom.

“lila baby please!” jamie was quick to wipe away his daughters tears and bring the girl into his lap. he cuddled her close and pulled out his phone from his pocket to dial his best friends number.

“LILA BELL!!” trevor beamed as he barged right into jamie’s apartment an hour later. trevor never knocked.

“oh thank god,” jamie replied, getting off the couch to greet his best friend. “she’s been so sad today. she’s not used to not having her mom here” jamie gave trevor the rundown and he nodded, tapping his finger against his lips as he started thinking.

“jimmy, this clearly calls for taylor swift” trevor finally spoke up, reaching down to grab the tv remote from the coffee table.

“i sang shake it off earlier!”

trevor rolled his eyes, “yeah no wonder she misses her mom! your daddy sucks at singing lils” trevor directed the last part to lila who giggled up at him. “see, she agrees”

“just play the song” jamie rolled his eyes and trevor pressed play.

the beginning of wildest dreams blasts from the tv speaker and trevor got into position. he crouched down on the ground in front of lila who was sat on the couch, and he started singing the opening words to her.

“say you’ll remember me!!” trevor screeched, causing lila to full on belly laugh as she reached her tiny hands out to grab at him. “now this is a banger lila!” he brought the girl into his arms and started dancing around the living room with her.

jamie joined in on the next song, both boys jumping around and singing to 22. “you don’t know about me! but i bet you want too!!!” jamie sung as trevor set lila on her feet.

the little girl started bouncing to the music, her sadness for her mom long forgotten.

“jimmy catch me!” trevor shouted, running and jumping into jamie’s arms who dutifully caught him and spun him around much to lilas delight.

“we just keep dancing like we’re … TWENTY TWO!!!” the boys sang in unison while lila babbled loudly.

they kept on singing and dancing until lila eventually got tired and started clinging to jamie.

jamie tucked lila into bed, and then he flopped himself down on the couch next to trevor. “thanks for coming over”

“i had loads of fun” trevor spoke quietly as he settled himself on the couch. “you’re a great dad, jimmy”

“thank you,” jamie whispered, exhaustion from his morning with lila and all the singing and dancing kicking in. “and thanks for helping out today. it means a lot”

trevor hummed, “yeah no problem” and a minute later both boys were asleep.

#lila my love au #jamie drysdale x reader #jamie drysdale fic #jamie drysdale imagine #jamie drysdale blurb #trevor zegras x reader #trevor zegras fluff #trevor zegras fic #trevor zegras imagine #trevor zegras blurb

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writingreadinglurkingandsmirking · 1 year

Text

You Should Find Another Guiding Light - Rafe Cameron x Reader

Dear Reader Duology: Part 1, Part 2

Summary: With you drunk at Kelce’s party, Rafe has to drive you, his ex, home. Neither of you are over each other and both of you know it, for better or for worse. That doesn’t make things easy. Not at all. Word Count: 3.7k+ TWs/CWs: She/her pronouns used, adult/profane language, descriptions of a party, descriptions of drunkenness, a guy being a weirdo, Rafe being a little bit crazy, angst with the potential for a happy ending, I guess. Note: The title is in fact a Taylor Swift lyric lol. I don’t know, I just wanted to dip my toes in the OBX writing arena and I just had this idea pop into my head and not leave me alone so here it is. I think I might end up doing a part 2 for this just because I don’t want this to be Sad, but we shall see.

Rafe heard the chant of, “Go, go, go, go,” from the other side of the house.

The chant didn’t interest him even remotely. Pretty much nothing about the party did, actually. And if it weren’t at Kelce’s house while his parents were out of town, he wouldn’t have even bothered to come. The high he’d been riding had faded nearly an hour ago, and the drink in his hand was not nearly strong enough. He wasn’t even buzzed anymore, this was boring. All these fucking parties were boring now. Had been since…well, long enough now.

“Rafe,” he heard to his left, while about to bring the cup to his lips. He cut his eyes to the side. It was Topper, a grim look on his face, lips turned firmly downward. Rafe raised an eyebrow, lowering the cup. “Get the fuck out here, I need your help.”

“What?” he asked, huffing as he put down his cup on the nearest surface. Before Topper could answer, though, Rafe noted the ongoing chants from outside. A chant that was exclusively a mixture of his ex’s name—your name, the reason that nothing was enjoyable anymore—and cheers. “Oh fucking hell no.”

“Yeah, exactly,” Topper said dryly. “Me and Kelce just had to stop her from doing a keg stand in a skirt.”

“I swear to God,” Rafe growled.

Rafe shouldered past him quickly making his way outside. You were dancing. He didn’t inherently have a problem with that. He loved watching you dance, in fact. Especially when you were drunk. But, that wasn’t even half the issue. He was torn between a mixture of fury and concern when he saw you, standing on top of the outdoor bar with some random guy holding your legs and trying to look up your skirt. The skirt that Rafe knew personally you almost never wore anything under. He couldn’t even imagine how drunk you were right now to not be flicking that guy’s hands off of you.

“Don’t do anything stupid,” Topper advised.

“Shut the fuck up, Top,” Rafe retorted harshly.

He strode forward, landing his hand aggressively on the guy’s shoulder and squeezing it until the man winced and tried to pull away. Then, Rafe only squeezed tighter. The guy shouted in protest to the rough grip, but Rafe didn’t care. The tool still had the nerve to have his fucking hand on your leg. You hadn’t even noticed that Rafe was standing there yet, which was another mark to just how out of it Rafe knew you had to be.

“What the fuck, Cameron?” the guy demanded.

“I’m sorry, who are you?” Rafe spat. “And what the fuck do you think that you’re doing?”

The guy, obviously far too stupid for his own good, smirked at Rafe. Actually fucking smirked. Rafe felt his blood pressure rising. Rafe saw, somewhere in his periphery that Topper and Kelce were both coming his way. He didn’t particularly care. He could easily handle this loser himself.

“You two aren’t even together anymore,” the guy said smugly. “So, last I checked she’s a free agent, isn’t she?”

“Oh Jesus fucking Christ,” Kelce muttered behind him.

Rafe paid no mind to it, hand moving from the guy’s shoulder to his throat. Rafe smiled at the shock in the guy’s eyes, an angry glint in his eyes. He ignored the other’s weak attempts at dislodging him and instead took a step closer, glaring down at the little fucker.

“Take your hand off her or you won’t have a hand,” he said flatly. Idiot that he was, literally being choked and surrounded by Rafe’s friends, the guy still didn’t move his hand. Rafe let out a harsh laugh, tilting his head to the side slightly, looking more pissed by the second. “We can jump from you losing the hand to me killing you. Your fucking choice.” Starting to go purple in his face, Rafe laughed at the guy again, not loosening his hold. He reached over with his other hand, peeling his grip off of your leg, squeezing hard enough that Rafe was shocked the bones weren’t cracking. “Wasn’t so fucking hard to listen, was it?”

“Rafe,” Topper said sharply.

Rafe glanced back at him and then rolled his eyes. He let go of the guy and threw him away, hard, towards the ground. A good friend as always, Kelce caught the guy, then he and Topper started walking the jackass out to make sure he actually left the party. Yeah, Rafe was going to have to make sure that he never saw that guy again. Or, if he did, that it wasn’t in public like this. Rafe turned his attention back to you and was startled to see you looking down at him already.

“Rafe?” you asked, cocking your head to the side, looking, quite frankly, like a confused puppy.

Clenching his jaw, Rafe reached up, patting the bare skin of your leg, forcing himself to keep it brief and not let his hands linger on the bare skin. “Come on, Princess,” he said firmly.

Your brow furrowed. “Fuck you! I’m having fun,” you slurred.

At that, Rafe let himself roll his eyes. “Yeah. I’m not letting you dance on the bar and do a fucking striptease. You’ll hate yourself tomorrow,” he said sharply. You glared down at him, but Rafe didn’t care, knowing that he was absolutely right. “Get the fuck down.” You didn’t listen, unsurprisingly—you never had—so he physically grabbed you, carefully maneuvering your body off the bar without exposing you to the whole party.

“Rafe,” you whined, “stop it. I don’t want to go with you!”

“Liar,” he said, scoffing before he could stop himself. When you were level with his face, he grabbed your chin and made you look at him. “Stop fucking fighting me before you flash somebody.”

You glared at him. “Who cares if I do?” you asked.

Once again, Rafe rolled his eyes. “I’ll take their fucking eyes out. But, let’s not do this, Princess. I’ve had enough shit today without this added on,” he said through grit teeth, losing the limited patience he’d started with. He helped you off the bar—manhandled you, really—until you were standing on your feet, using his body for support to stay upright.

“You have no right,” you said, sniffing.

“How much have you even had to drink?” Rafe asked, amusement overcoming his irritation for a second.

“Oh fuck you,” you repeated, pushing weakly at his chest, even though your hand tangled in the bottom of his shirt like it always did when you were utterly sloshed. “I haven’t even had that much!” You then took on a distinctly dizzy look, swaying and Rafe cursed, catching your waist to steady you. “See? I’m fine!”

“Yeah, you’re so fine,” he agreed sarcastically.

Without waiting for you to say anything else, Rafe started guiding you toward the exit. He nodded at Kelce and Topper as they passed. He ignored the looks on his friends’ faces as best he could. He didn’t need to think about the shit he’d get from them about this in the morning. No, instead, he focused on forcing you into the passenger seat of his truck and making you get buckled up. Only after Rafe got into the car and started it did you seem to register that you weren’t at the party anymore.

“Hey! Where the hell are you taking me? I’m not going home with you!” you slurred, clearly in an argumentative mood.

“No. You’re not. I’m taking you home. To your house,” he replied, patience coming back at least a little bit now that they weren’t in the stupid party crowd.

“Rafael Cameron you fucking suck,” you accused glaring at him.

“Why’s that?” Rafe asked, backing up and then putting the car in drive and practically peeling out of Kelce’s driveway.

You scoff at his question. It would be adorable if it weren’t at his expense, Rafe was sure. “First you fucking break up with me out of nowhere! And give me no explanation at all! And you take half our fucking friends in the end! And then you kill the goddamn vibe the second I try to have fun at a party,” you declare sounding genuinely pissed.

“That’s not—” Rafe began, stopping himself with a sigh when you cut him off.

“No! Shut up!” you demanded, hitting his arm, once, twice, a third time, until Rafe sharply pulled over and turned to glare at you. He was angry now, except his anger was short-lived. The moment he met your eyes and saw that yours were full of tears, he deflated. Your bottom lip trembled and Rafe had to actively count his breaths to keep from not reacting to it. “Why are you ruining parties now? Was my life not enough for you? You have to take the rest of the good things left too?”

Rafe inhaled shakily. He pinched his nose and tapped his fingers against the wheel and then looked back towards you. “You know you didn’t want someone else touching you,” he said calmly. “You hate when people think they can touch you at parties. You always have.” He took a breath. “I don’t want to see anything happen to you. Especially when you’re too drunk to think clearly.” You went to retort but Rafe shook his head. “No. Stop. Just listen to me.” You rolled your eyes and looked away. Rafe caught your chin and turned your face so you were looking at him again. “I’m not going to watch some losers take advantage of you. Ever. You think that’d stop?”

“Why do you even care?” you spat, displaying sadness more than the anger he knew you were going for.

“Don’t ask me that,” Rafe warned, shaking his head. “Don’t act like you don’t know already. The dumb act has never worked for you.”

You scoffed. “Oh? So you’re a coward now too on top of everything else? Cool,” you said. “Can’t even talk to me, huh?”

Rafe let go of your face and turned away from you, pulling back on the road and driving faster now towards your house. “You know damn well why I care,” he said through grit teeth.

“Do I?” you challenged.

“Princess,” he said sharply, “don’t do this right now.” He took a deep breath even though he didn’t want to. “You’re drunk.”

“And?” you demanded. “That makes me an idiot?”

“Don’t put words in my mouth,” he said, groaning in irritation. You swatted at his chest again. And truly, if this were anyone else, he’d have kicked them out of the car. But it was you. “Come on, Princess.” He tapped the steering wheel to manage the anxiety brewing in his chest at the thought. “We can have a conversation about it when you’re sober if you want. But I’m not doing this with you drunk. Fuck that.”

“Fuck you,” you reiterated as if you hadn’t already said it to him a thousand times that night.

Even with that declaration, you were blessedly quiet the rest of the ride. You fiddled with the heat on your side of the truck, getting comfortable, and just stared out of the window. And for the rest of the ride, Rafe could almost pretend that things were normal. The way that they should’ve been. Except that you were leaning on the door and not him. And that both of his hands were on the wheel, instead of one resting on your leg. And your stony silence, even when your favorite songs came on the shared playlist neither of you had gotten around to deleting yet. The silence in the car in general, really.

At your house, Rafe had to nearly throw himself from the car to get to your side before you opened the door and tumbled out. Even doing that, you nearly fell from the truck in an uncoordinated heap, stubbornly not wanting his assistance. He huffed and righted your feet on the ground, holding your waist and looking you over. You leaned into the touch for a second before seemingly realizing it, then you pulled wildly away, nearly falling again until he caught you.

“You can be angry after I get you to your room,” he said firmly.

“Fine,” you muttered, frowning.

Rafe went to move but you wouldn’t move. He tried to force you to move, but you resisted every logical piece of your mind, and every attempt he made. You were firmly stuck to your spot as if trying to grow roots like a tree. So, he picked you up again, carrying you to the door. Graciously, your parents weren’t in town and the house was empty, so no one had to see this disaster unfold.

He took your key and unlocked the door easily, locking it behind them for the time being. He didn’t really feel like risking someone coming in when he was corralling a drunk you and he couldn’t pay full attention to everything else. Then, he carried you upstairs like it was nothing to him. He dropped you gently on your bed and avoided looking at you as he grabbed a pair of clothes for you to change into. He went into your bathroom and got makeup remover, knowing that you’d be pissed if you woke up with a trace of makeup still on your face still.

As he walked back into the room, Rafe regretted leaving almost immediately. Your eyes were swimming with tears and a few were spilling down your cheeks. You looked away from him, trying to avoid his gaze, but he wasn’t an idiot. He’d noticed. You tried to scrub them away and he sighed almost silently. Rafe put the stuff down on the bed next to you and then knelt down in front of you. He grabbed your hands but didn’t say anything and waited.

“I hate you,” you said weakly, bottom lip wavering.

“I know,” he said, nodding. He cracked a fake grin. “I do too.”

“Fuck you,” you said, shaking your head. You sniffled and Rafe immediately knew that he wasn’t leaving for a while still. He stroked the back of your hands and waited once more. You always cracked. It didn’t take long, only a few breaths. “I love you. I…I fucking hate you.” You leaned heavily toward him and he wrapped his arms around you without hesitation. “I love you. I wish I didn’t.”

“I know,” he repeated. He pressed a kiss to the side of your head. He let out a slow breath, deciding that fuck it, it didn’t matter anyway anymore, not if he didn’t think you’d remember this in the morning. “I love you too, Gorgeous. You know that.”

You let out a watery laugh. “No I don’t,” you denied. He frowned at the words. “You left me. I…I hate that you left me. I didn’t do anything!”

Rafe sighed. “We talked about this,” he said quietly.

“Fuck you. You decided. We didn’t talk about anything!” you reminded him.

And that was true. He grabbed your chin again, forcing your eyes to meet yet again. This time though, he leaned your foreheads together. Your bottom lip trembled, but you happily stayed close to him. He took it as the tiny, tiny, minuscule win that was. He moved his hand from your chin to your cheek, thumb tracing a pattern up and down, soothing and slow.

“I need to make sure you’re safe,” he reminded you.

“You’re stupid,” you said, pulling away from him. “Just because we’re not together doesn’t mean I’m safe. Everyone knows that we were together. Everyone knows that to get to you they’d just have to use me. So I’m not suddenly more safe.”

“Safe from me,” Rafe gruffly corrected. When you open your mouth to retort, eyes alight with anger, he places his hand over your mouth. “Like I said, Gorgeous. We can talk about this later. When you’re not drunk. If you even want to still.”

“Oh? You’ll stop ignoring me then?” you asked from behind his hand. “Act like the adults that we are?”

Rafe rolled his eyes. “I haven’t been ignoring you. I’ve been giving you space,” he said. He let out a rough sigh, then shook his head, reminding himself that this would have to wait. “I promise we will talk about it if you want to. “Now can I please just help you change and get this stupid fucking makeup off you?”

Miracle of miracles, you didn’t try to fight him on it. So, he helped you change, ignoring the wandering hands and clumsy advances from you with ease. And then he forced you to get all the makeup off and brush your teeth. Then, he made you drink a bottle of water and settle in bed. You were pouting at him, tears still falling from your eyes—he didn’t know if they’d stopped since they started—that he brushed away lazily. Rafe sighed and sat next to you, stroking your cheek. Your hand landed on his knee, the touch almost hard as though you needed to squeeze his leg to remember he really was there. It broke his fucking heart.

“Come on, you gotta stop. We just got more water in you,” he said softly. “You know I can’t leave you when you’re upset like this. Not when you’re alone here.” He nearly winced at his phrasing when you seemed to cry harder for a moment. “Come on, Princess. You gotta stop crying.”

“Then I guess you can’t leave,” you replied shakily.

Rafe bit his lip, looking down at you. Knowing that he was already fucked anyways, he moved, pulling you practically into his lap. He held you tightly, glad that you didn’t even make an attempt at brushing the affection off. No, you leaned into the touch like you’d been starved of love your whole life. You laid your head right over his heart, eyes closed. He felt the way that your hands tapped the rhythm of his heartbeat into his arm. He pressed a kiss to the top of your head.

“I don’t want you to doubt that I love you. I don’t want you to doubt that…that our relationship is…was real,” Rafe said. “I do love you. It’s just…hard, Gorgeous.”

You turned your head up to meet his eyes. He watched a flurry of intense emotions—every single one he’d ever experienced…more, maybe—flash through your eyes in a matter of seconds. You reached up and stroked his cheekbone…his nose…his lips. Then, you dropped your hand to lay on his chest, right next to where your head was.

“We’ll talk about it,” you declared. “I want to. We have to.”

“Okay, Princess,” he agreed softly. He knew that there was a chance sober you wouldn’t actually want to talk to him. He could ignore that in the meantime. He could live in this moment. In the false hope of a promised future where you did want to talk to him. “We’ll talk.”

You leaned up and pressed an incredibly short fleeting kiss to his lips before burying your face in his chest. He closed his eyes and held you tighter, wishing that things were…different. “Can you just…stay until I fall asleep?” you asked quietly. “I know you won’t stay all night, but…please?”

Rafe’s heart, again, broke for you. And he hated himself for hurting you the way that he was. “Yeah,” he said, voice hoarse. He stroked your arms, soothing. “I’ll stay until you fall asleep, Princess.” He knew it wouldn’t be long anyhow. Your eyes were already heavy, staying shut longer than they were staying open.

“I miss you, Rafe,” you admit quietly.

“I miss you too,” he said, equally quiet.

You paused. “I love you,” you said.

Rafe inhaled shakily. “I love you too. So much,” he said, voice sounding choked and short.

“Do you promise?” you whispered.

He paused. He had no doubt you heard his heart stutter in his chest. “I promise.”

Your eyes started to drift closed longer and longer while Rafe rubbed a soothing pattern up and down your back until he was sure you were asleep. You were incredibly beautiful in this peaceful sleep, with even breathing and a smile on your face. It was the happiest he’d seen you look in a while. He knew it was his fault. Again, he hated himself for it. It made him sure that he did the right thing even if it killed you both right now.

He had to leave.

He let out a sigh and pressed another kiss to your forehead, then another. He took the time to inhale your scent, memorize the way that you felt in his arms…to be with you again. Then, carefully, he got out of your grasp and stood. Rafe then settled you comfortably on your bed and tucked you in. He pressed a final kiss to your forehead then stood and walked to your bedroom door.

He had to leave. He didn’t want to.

For a beat, Rafe paused in the doorframe. He looked down at your sleeping frame. He longed to just lay down with you and forget the trials of the past two months without you. The hell he went through without you. He shook his head though. You deserved better. He was sure of it. He was almost certain that sober you would agree. Still, as he walked quietly down the hall, locking the door again behind himself, and slipping out back to his truck, he found himself hoping. Hoping that you would call him. Hoping that you would still want to talk.

He had to leave. He didn’t want to. He loved you.

In the quiet of his car, he took the time to look at his phone. Just after two thirty in the morning now. Your smiling face, still his wallpaper, looked back at him. He stared at the image of you, smiling at him like he was the sun, and felt his heart squeeze so tightly it took his breath away.

He had to leave. He didn’t want to. He loved you. You were everything, even now.

He started the car and started to drive back to his own place now. He tapped at the steering wheel again to avoid chewing at his nails like you hated—even now you kept him from bad habits he had, even if they were the little ones.

Rafe knew he wasn’t strong enough to stay away and he didn’t want to.

Even if it made him selfish, he hoped you called him—he hoped for a second chance.

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