#oh my god this literally hurts so bad i hate this show i hate myself for watching

[bunnihearted]

can i please fucking have a best friend before i kill myself i cannot stand this loneliness anymore it isnt even funny like im actually in so much pain bc of loneliness i feel like i cant breathe and like im gonna die everything hurts so bad i cant take it i try to pretend im ok and during a little while it works but then it all comes crashing down again i literally cannot be alone anymore i will die

[cheeseceli]

When your parents don't like them

Pairing: Ot8!skz × Gn!Reader (individually)

Genre: reverse hurt/comfort? Angst? A little bit of fluff perhaps; reaction

Description: their reaction to not having the approval of your parents in their first meeting (established relationship)

Warnings: not proofread; a lot of overthinking and self doubt in most of the scenarios; the length of each story is not favouritsm!! It's just that some scenarios required more details than others

A/n: I should have posted this one a long time ago... Oh well. And I am literally the mix of Han and Lee Know, this would 100% happen to me if I were in their shoes

Bang Chan

‌HE'S SO SHOCKED

‌Parents always love him, so why didn't yours?

‌He believes he took it for granted

‌But he was so sure your family would love him

‌Rethinks everything he said and did

‌And thinks about what he could've done

‌He'll be up all night because of it, you better believe me

"Maybe it's the outfit I was wearing?"

"Chan, for God's sake, go to sleep."

"Seriously though, do you think my clothes weren't appropriate?"

"There was nothing wrong with how you looked baby."

"... So maybe I didn't introduce myself properly?"

"Chan."

Lee Know

‌ He knew he had to talk

‌ But it turns out he was too scared

‌And your parents just aggravated his problem

‌ He'd give only short answers and would only speak when spoken with

‌ Because of that your parents didn't see him as a really charismatic guy

‌ But I swear he was trying his best

"I swear it wasn't as bad as it seemed."

"It was horrible. I doubt any of your parents even know what my voice sounds like."

"You were nervous. I'm sure they'll understand. If you'd like I can talk to them about it."

"Please, don't. The last thing I want is for your parents to think that besides being awkward I'm a coward as well."

"They don't think either of those things. You'll see, you guys just need to know each other a little bit more. They'll love you."

Even with his worried expression, he gave you a small smile "I hope so".

Changbin

‌ You warned him he was getting too close

‌ He was holding your hand, caressing your thigh, hugging you too tight, kissing you a lot...

‌ All the time

‌ And yes, you both were dating for a while now

‌ But your parents didn't really appreciate the attitude

‌ And truly, he thought that by doing that he was showing how much he treasured and loved you

‌ Sadly your parents didn't understand his actions like he planned

"But what was I supposed to do? Stay away from you?"

"Ideally, yes"

Changbin pouted, not even realising it "but I'm your boyfriend"

"They are not used to this fact just yet. Don't worry though, they still have a lot of time to like you. Just wait and see"

Hyunjin

‌ Similar to Chan, Hyunjin didn't expect to be rejected by your parents

‌of course, he wasn't expecting to make the fall in love immediately, but he knew he had some charms

‌and he actually put a lot of effort into impressing them so when it doesn't work he's like

‌genuinely sad

‌And he's scared your relationship might change now that he doesn't have your family approval right away.

"So... About the dinner"

"They are always like this, don't worry"

"How come?"

"I knew they were gonna play hard to get. But don't you stress over it, sooner or later they will realise there is no need to act like it"

"So I can still convince them into not hating me?"

"Why would they hate you? You were really boyfriend material if you ask me"

He laughed, a little bit more relieved "They were kinda... aggressive back there, y'know?"

"Ugh, sorry about that. I swear things will get better"

"You're not mad?"

"Of course not. Why would I be?"

"I thought you'd get sad or something like that since the meeting didn't go that well"

"I'm a bit sad, yeah. But it's not your fault. You did your best. Besides, it won't last that long. It's kinda hard to hate on the Hwang Hyunjin for too long"

He laughed again, openly this time as he replied "I hope you are right"

Han

‌The problem wasn't exactly what he did

‌The problem was that he didn't do anything

‌Literally anything

‌ He'd excuse himself to go to the bathroom to avoid any questions

‌He barely moved besides that

‌After a while your dad even forgot he was there

‌And Han wished he could disappear

"I'm so, so sorry"

"Ji, it's okay"

"I was gonna answer your mother, I swear. But she was looking at me with daggers in her eyes"

"You were just fine"

"Fine? Y/n, your dad sighed in relief after I left the room. They must see me as a loser"

"I'm sure they don't. Besides, you still have a lot of time left to win them over. I know they'll love you"

Felix

‌Your parents loved him actually

‌They just don't think he is fit to be your boyfriend

‌They think that his angel face and sweet personality wouldn't give you enough security throughout your life

‌And Felix wants to prove himself to your parents so badly now

‌He will use his deep voice privilege to try to prove his point

‌He will go to the gym with Changbin until he's "intimidating" enough

‌And he won't fail on reminding them how he has over 60 medals on taekwondo

"How do I look?"

"Great, as always"

"But do I look intimidating? Scary?"

"Lix..."

"But not too scary. I need to look threatening to others but reliable to you"

"You look like someone my parents will like"

"They already like me, but not enough to like our relationship"

"They will though. Soon enough they will appreciate everything that comes along with you, trust me."

Felix smiled and nodded, feeling a certain comfort into your words as you headed to the door

"Just for the record, you do look threatening but reliable"

"Oh thank you. I was going crazy over this"

Seungmin

‌If your parents don't like Seungmin then the problem is on them

‌just kidding

‌Seriously though, I can't imagine why they wouldn't like him

‌And neither can Seungmin himself

‌So he truly thinks that everything was a misunderstanding and that it's only a matter of time until your whole family falls in love with him

‌He will face it like a challenge

"What about we invite your parents to our apartment this weekend?"

"We just saw them less than an hour ago"

"I think we should see them again"

"Did you like them that much?"

"They seem cool. But they also seem to hate me. I need to change their minds"

"What? They didn't hate you at all"

"Your father's glare would disagree. But that doesn't matter that much because by the end of this week they will love me"

"You seem certain"

"Of course I am. I can't have them hating me for the rest of our lives, can I?"

"They don't hate you. They are just... hard to please"

"I'll change this" he faced you with a confident smile "I give you my word"

I.N

‌Kinda clueless

‌Totally clueless actually

‌He can't understand what he did wrong but apparently he did something awful considering your parents disliked him that much

‌Will try to find ways to apologise

‌Will gift them and try to keep a conversation even when you're not around

"Does your mother like flowers? She does, right? Every mother does"

"What are you doing?"

"You said that she invited us to lunch this Friday. I don't want to go see her with empty hands again. Maybe that's what made her hate me so much the first time"

"She doesn't care about those things, Innie"

"No? Then why doesn't she like me?"

"She's just hard to satisfy, you know. But I bet she'll like you in no time. She just needs to get to know you better"

"You keep saying that but I don't know, I feel like that won't happen any time soon. I really want her to approve me"

He had that hopeless expression again, that one that really wanted to change the situation but didn't know how to. You really hated seeing him disappointed on himself.

"Lilies" you said

"What?"

"Those are my mother's favourites. Lilies"

"Oh my God, thank you" he got up and kissed the top of your head lightly, before going to the door of your shared apartment "I'll be right back"

Dividers by @saradika-graphics

Reblogs and feedback are always appreciated! | masterlist

[beastofburdenxo]

Awakening: Hypothermia part 2

here it is, the much-awaited part 2! Emmett realizes what he did in his sleep, how will he fix this?

2.8k words. MINORS DNI tags: fingering, first time, p in v sex, unprotected sex, first orgasm(?) Praise, language

Emmett stirs in his sleep, his heart pounding. “Oh no, did I dream again?” he wonders to himself. Feeling the front of his pants, he has his answer. “Shit.” He turns back towards you, hoping he didn’t disturb you, putting his arms back around you. He notices you slightly shaking, you can’t possibly be cold. He's right by your side, then he notices that your pants are gone. Your panties are all bunched up, slightly damp in the back. “Oh god, what did I do? Did I hurt you?” He sits up in bed, pondering if he should flee when you turn towards him. “Emmett, you awake?” you mutter in the darkness feeling him move. He's speechless, hoping that he didn’t do what deep down he knows he did. Hoping that you are innocent and clueless to his inappropriate behavior. “Emmett, talk to me. I know happened.” Emmett feels like he’s about to be sick at your words, his worst nightmare coming true. You grab his shoulders, knowing he’s going to want to bolt. “I’m not mad Emmett, you were asleep, had no idea what you were doing.” His chest feels like it’s going to collapse in on itself. “Did I hurt you? Did I-”  

“No Emmett, you didn’t hurt me I’m fine.” you assure him, “Nothing big happened, you just moaned a little in my ear and...” You trailed off, suddenly embarrassed at what you were about to disclose to him. Emmett put his head in his hands, “And what? What else happened?” You clear your throat, how do you put this politely? “Umm, well, you kind of humped me a little. Held me tight to you and uhm,” you stuttered this last part, “Groped a bit, and you sorta, used me to get off.” Emmett made an angry sound, “Damn it, I'm so sorry. I understand if you can’t stand to be around me anymore. I'm an animal. Over here having wet dreams about my dead friend’s daughter. Rutting against you like a pig.” You shush his displeasure, “I don’t think any less of you Emmett, you can’t control what your body does when you're asleep.” Before you can stop yourself, you blurt out, “And besides I didn’t hate it. It's the closest a man has ever gotten to me.” Silence fills the room as Emmett digests this information. “What?” you feel his eyes on you, “You enjoyed it? Enjoyed pretty much being molested by a man twice your age?” Your face reddens in the dark. “It felt kind of good honestly, I didn’t want you to stop.” You curse yourself at letting this secret loose.  

“Well, I'm glad I stopped when I did. Hope you got your fill, because this will not happen again. I knew this whole thing was a bad idea.” He turns away, stoney and cold towards you. Silly little tears fill your eyes, you didn’t want Emmett to be upset. You should have kept your mouth shut. “Little girl doesn’t know what she’s saying,” Emmett thinks to himself, “She enjoyed it? The fuck? I used her and she liked it?” He rubs his eyes, “She enjoyed it because it’s all she’s ever had. You are all she’s ever had.” A small voice in the back of his head tells him, “Poor thing doesn’t know any better. Show her there is better to be had.” If he could shut the voice off, he would, “No, it’s wrong. She’s too young. I literally watched her grow up.” “And now she is grown,” the voice replies, “She is an adult Emmett, a poor sexually deprived and innocent woman. Listen, you made her cry.” In the silence he hears your sniffling. “Dammit, I didn’t want to upset her. How do I make this right?” He turns back towards you, nervous that you would blow up in his face. “Hey,” he whispers, “Don’t cry. I'm not mad at you. I'm mad at myself, you did nothing wrong.” His warm hand caresses your shoulder. “Look at me, please.” You refuse. “Come here, hey, come here, don’t cry.” His arms snake back around you. “Hey now, don’t cry sweetheart. I’m sorry I upset you.” 

He makes you turn towards him, his blue eyes dark with concern. “Let’s forget this ever happened, okay? I don’t like seeing you like this.” His thumbs wiping away your tears. “it’s over and done with, water under the bridge alright?” You finally meet his gaze, “I won’t be able to forget, and you won’t either. I don’t want to forget.” With shaking hands, you reach for his beard and try to pull him closer. “No, no, stop sweetie. You’re confused. You really don’t want to do this. Let's just go back to sleep, okay?” With a new determination in your eyes you reply, “You said my name in your sleep, I heard it. Deep down you want this as much as I do.” Your lips are now ghosting over Emmett’s, just waiting for one of you to make up for the distance. “Emmett,” you whisper against his lips, “It’s okay Emmett, please. I trust you. Emmett.” In an instant your lips finally meet, not knowing who finally broke resolve. His lips are soft and tender against yours, not trying anything further. Nice and gentle, like he’s second guessing himself. He holds your face, eyes studying you, like he’s looking for any sign of hesitation. “Are you sure? We can stop right here, no pressure at all.” You put your lips on him, back where they were as your answer. The kiss deepens, his grip on you tightens. You breathe each other in like you were the last source of oxygen. He moves down to your neck, sucking softly on your skin. “I can feel your pulse,” he chuckles, “Excited, are we?” you avert your gaze in embarrassment. “It’s alright sweetheart, mine is the same way. I've wanted this for so long, you have no idea.” Emmett whispers in your ear.  

You reach behind you to undo your bra, but Emmett stops you, “Let me.” In one fluid motion, his rough strong hand has the clasp undone, slowly pulling it off your body. Eye contact is not wavering the whole time, like he’s making sure you’re okay. Half of you is completely exposed to him now, your skin slightly pink with nerves. “You are so beautiful, you know that?” His words just deepen the flush. He bends down to explore this new exposed flesh; your hands automatically go to his hair. Like you're using his scalp to ground yourself, this is not some naughty thought or dream, this is real and now. Emmett takes his time, no need to rush this. His warm mouth finds your unguarded nipple, and you jolt in surprise. He looks up from his work, slight grin on his face, “You good? Not used to that are you?” You lightly slap him upside his head, “No I’m not, but it feels nice. Keep going Emmett.” You don’t have to tell him twice. While his mouth is on one nipple, his hand is working on the other. Eventually trading up. The familiar feeling of suspense returns, like when you were all defenseless against him rutting up against you. But this time, you knew there weren’t going to be any interruptions. You both are panting; he can feel your thighs clench around his waist from being wrapped around him. His hands go to your waistband of your pants. Looking up at you he asks, “Would you like these to come off?”  

Shakily with desire you respond, “Yes, please.” Emmett softly moans at that response, “So polite.” He removes your legs from around him stretching them out straight. With his electric blue eyes on yours, his hands grab your hips, “Up for me sweetheart.” You oblige him, raising your hips to get your pants off easier. He slowly pushes them down, panties with them, eye contact never wavering. “Breathe, it’s okay. You are doing so good.” Goosebumps hit your exposed skin as the fabric is slowly removed from your legs. Part of you wants to just yank them off in frustration at his extremely slow movements, but you don’t. Emmett wants to do this right, knowing your inexperience. Finally, after what feels like forever, you are completely naked in front of him. You want to curl up in a ball, not used to being naked in front of anyone, much less a man. Emmett slowly strokes your exposed legs, “Are you okay?” he asks you. You nod in response, but that’s not good enough for Emmett. He lies down next to you, hand going to your cheek. “Are you okay with this?” he asks again, “I need to hear that you are okay.” You softly grab his hand that is on your face and kiss it, “I’m okay Emmett, just feeling a little exposed right now. It's not fair that I'm the only naked one here.” He smiles at that, running his hand up your thigh, “This is all about you right now, we’ll get to me later.”  

A shaky breath leaves your lips as you realize just how high Emmett’s hand is on your leg. Creeping closer and closer to where you both want him to be. He kisses you deeply again, gently climbing on top of you, his knee between your legs. “Can I look at you baby?” Your eyes get big at knowing what he wants. “I won’t touch unless you let me. Can I see just how pretty my girl is?” You gulp, wanting to please him but still skittish. “Breathe Babygirl, let me see you.” Time stands still as Emmett waits for your answer, not daring to go forward without your consent, still rubbing your legs. Finally, you decide to let him look. “Okay,” you whisper, “Go ahead, I just hope it’s what you're expecting.” Emmett kisses both knees as he gently pulls them apart, exposing you fully to him. His normally crystal-clear eyes turn muddy with lust, “Oh my sweetheart, it’s what I expected and so much more. You are so stunning and..” he comes back up to your face, “And so very wet for me. Just how I want you to be. Perfect.” You turn away from his words, trying to hide your face with your hands. Emmett is not having that, taking your hands in his, “it’s true, don’t hide from me. Get used to me talking like this, because I will every day until you quit shying from it. So pink and dripping for me baby, so pretty and small. Can I touch you baby? I won’t enter I promise, just let me feel.”  

At his words, you feel your body respond even more. Not knowing that it’s possible to be this wet just from his explicit compliments. All you want is Emmett to touch you, anywhere and everywhere. You take his hand in yours, finally doing what you thought about earlier when he was asleep. His warm hand finally reaches its destination. Both of you moan as his fingers explore your warm folds. “There you are beautiful, is this okay?” His index finger finds your clit, slowly rubbing, eye contact never wavering. “Emmett yes.” you manage to choke out, pleasure building at his movements. “I’m okay with one finger if you want to.” He kisses your neck in response, “Are you sure? Don't let me hurt you.” Watching your pleasure ridden face, He slowly enters one digit inside you. You are so wet it doesn’t hurt, just feels unusual having something inside. “Oh baby, you are so tight.” Emmett groans, “So warm for me, you are doing so good at taking my fingers.” In and out his finger goes, watching you the whole time. Emmett loves that he is the one who makes you feel so good. “More,” you cry out, “Please add another finger.” Your request is driving Emmett crazy, “Only because you asked so nicely sweetheart. Tell me if it is too much.” 

Emmett feels like his dick is going to explode any minute as another finger goes inside you. You are doing so good for him, accepting the second digit without much protest. Your thighs begin to shake. “Breathe sweetheart, don’t forget to breathe. I know that feels so good, doesn’t it? Two fingers inside you while my thumb is rubbing that little clit of yours, yeah?” Your voice goes out on you wanting to answer him. That familiar feeling that you had when he had you pinned on your stomach slowly returns. You just hope and pray that it happens this time. “Oh yes, you are so close I can see it in your eyes. Come for me baby, let it go. I’ll take care of you this time. I got you.” Emmett raises you up and holds you close as you orgasm for the first time ever. You cry his name repeatedly into his shoulder, body limp and trembling in his arms as he takes you through it. “There it is, there you go. Yes, good job sweetheart.” he coos, silent tears of relief slide down your cheeks. You wipe them away before he notices, not to worry him. He gently puts you down on the bed again, inhaling your remaining whimpers and moans. One hand goes down to unbutton his pants, finally freeing himself. He sighs in relief. You look down and notice what’s happening as your high starts to fade. “Shhh, I was just uncomfortable is all. Nothing is happening without your say so.”  

“Can I touch you?” you ask him. Curious as to how he feels. “If you want to,” he answers, “But remember, this is about you.” You kiss him passionately as you reach down, fingertips lightly grazing his dick. You feel him twitch at that slight touch. “it’s okay, it does that sometimes. Your hand is so soft, sweetheart. You can grab, it doesn’t bite.” Emmett guides your hand around him. He's so thick you can barely get your hand around it. “Oh, this soft skin is going to be the death of me.” he moans as you slowly start to stroke him. “I don’t know how much more I can take; I want to be inside you so bad.” Between kisses, you stop stroking him and pull him back on top of you, “I want you too, Emmett.” He grabs his dick, sliding it between your folds, “Are you sure? This might still hurt even though I tried to stretch you.” Your eyes close at the feeling of your clit being touched again, “I know, it’s okay. Just go slow.” Emmett’s forehead touches yours, eye contact steady as he lines himself up to your entrance. “This can stop anytime you want it to. Don't lie there and let me hurt you.” You feel the head slowly entering you, as Emmett tries to distract you with kisses. At first you just feel really full, nothing too bad. And then it’s like he hit a wall, your body refusing him any further. You start to whimper in pain, “Shhh, it’s okay. I'm almost all the way in sweetheart. You are doing such a good job” His hand goes back to stroke your clit, “Easy there, that’s it, you can do it. Focus on the pleasure baby, not the pain. It'll go away soon.” And it does, your body responding to his touches, it lets him through. “Oh fuck,” he grunts, “There it is honey, I'm in. Oh, you feel so good. Are you okay?”  

You grab onto his shoulders at the massive intrusion. “Yeah, I'm alright. Just move please, it’s starting to hurt again.” With a deep kiss, he slowly starts to move. Your hands go back to his hair as he continues to talk to you, “Breathe, don’t hold it in. Oh, this is better than I could have ever imagined, you feel so good around me. Oh shit, so tight baby. Just for me huh?” Emmett gets a good rhythm going in and out at just the right speed, sending you to heaven again. “Yes, just for you Emmett,” you manage to squeak into his ear, “Just for you.” At hearing your confession, his hips start to move sloppy. “Oh sweetheart, I can’t last much longer. It's been so long. You just feel too damn good.” Your nails start to dig in his back at the pleasure. “it’s okay, come for me baby, come for me.” you moan. Emmett buries his face in your shoulder, your name coming out of his mouth like a chant. That familiar growl unleashes from his throat as he finally hits his peak, quickly pulling out of you and spilling on your thighs. “Oh yes, like that.” he mutters to no one in particular, “Look so good covered in me.” You shakily sit up and pull him into a kiss, leaning on him as you have no strength left. “Are you alright baby?” he asks. “I’m perfect,” you answer, “That couldn’t have possibly gone better.”  

With a tired chuckle Emmett responds, “Let’s just not wait for another freezing night to do that again, okay?”  

“Okay I'll give you 20 minutes.”

[marycorcaroli]

zoro and sanji with a reader who is insecure about her scars.

hurt/comfort, my fav boys.

req ♡ : hiii 🥹🩷 i don’t know if you do requests or are accepting them rn but i was wondering if u could write something for sanji and or zoro abt a reader with like scars from fighting or something and reader is insecure about them but they make reader feel better abt it 🥹 love ur blog ur stuff is soooo cute i love it i hope ur having a good day/night!!

mary ♡ : thank you for your request ! ! i enjoyed writing this so much that i even cried a little :( love your scars ! they are part of you and they make you individual 🫂💌 hope you enjoy it ! english is not my first language, i apologize for the mistakes.

rules ; masterlist.

sanji.

— he knows all about your scars and knows where you got them from. deep down, sanji wishes he could have prevented you from getting them and helped you when you needed his help and he wasn't there, and you could say he blames himself a little.

— he will notice how you look at them every time you look at them and your gaze grows dim, the sparkle in your eyes dims and your shoulders slump more and more with every exhale, you feel so bad about them and sanji is trying to help you, he will do everything in his power so that you can see the beauty in what you have.

— sanji will always be there for you when that moment comes again and you need support, he will be there for you, you don't have to worry, he will never leave you again.

— he wants you to tell him the burden you carry with you to this day, sanji will listen to you carefully, his eyes fixed on you.

"you know, sanji, they're horrible, aren't they? god, they're everywhere, i just can't live with myself because of it...i just h-" you hadn't finished your words before sanji's palms cupped your cheeks and brought them close to your face.

"let me stop you here kitten. please, i want you to know-" sanji's eyes became glassy like he was about to cry, unable to stand the way you hate yourself. "this, this and this — are you and your actions, the way you protected everyone and were brave, your heart is the strongest i've ever met, your soul is the kindest i've ever met. people appreciate you and love you, they know about your scars and they are grateful to you because you saved them and gave them a chance to live, so why don't you give yourself a chance? i'll help you, i'll be there for you, you know i'll never leave you."

— sanji has rarely ever been this sad, usually he doesn't show his emotions at all, but you make him feel so much. you made him a man with a pure soul again and gave him a chance at the love he wanted so badly and that's why he can't stand your sadness.

— he'll kiss every scar you have and say how beautiful they are.

"look, this one? oh, honey, it's so beautiful! i'll kiss it a million times, it makes you look so beautiful and even with it, you're the most beautiful person on this earth."

— he will never let you feel bad about it again, you will get the kindest words in your direction and the brightest smile from sanji, my god he will make you smile no matter what.

zoro.

— oh i think zoro is not good with his words, he is generally silent and not used to expressing his emotions, but the situation with you will not allow him to be silent. you are literally killing yourself around him and he can't do anything? his heart breaks into a thousand pieces when he sees your blank stare and all the pain in them.

— even if you say "it's okay, i'm fine" he will realize that nothing is okay, zoro knows you too well and knows the reason for your heavy sighs.

— he'll start by coming over to you and hugging you as tightly as he can and kissing your temple, trying to convey his warmth and support.

"zoro-"

— before you can say anything else, zoro's lips will join yours and give you the most tender kiss, conveying half of what he couldn't have said. pulling back to breathe a little, zoro will look deep into your eyes, where he always sees his past, present and future, and tell you what he wanted to say a long time ago.

"um, i'm not the best when i need to be, but you are very precious to me and i want you to know how much i love you. remember? you taught me to love myself and to love what i hate. i was alone, but then you came into my life and you saved me, you were the strongest, you came to me and you weren't afraid of anything, i've never met anyone like you before. you went to any lengths to get what you wanted and your scars are proof of that, because you became a leader for everyone, you led people and gave them protection, you were beaten, you fell a lot, but you always got up with your head held high and i love you for that-"

— zoro began to pant in his speech, afraid to say something too much or not to say something.

— he kisses your scars every day and runs his fingers over them, smiling at you with all his teeth so that you realize that your scars are the most beautiful and have a story behind them, you shouldn't be afraid of them or hate them.

— but also zoro will not let anyone else hurt you because of them. he will literally kill those people if they make you cry. yes you are strong but every strong man needs support and he will be yours by doing everything for you, he will go all over the earth and get you what you need if it makes you happy, he is not afraid of anything if it makes your day better.

[piquuroblox]

Oaky oOKAY OKAY IM HERE ITSB BEEN LIKE 4 HOURS MY GOD okay okay FIRST OF ALL Astro and Shrimpo models…. Heh I even got backshots

om my god so many skins were made

alpha sleeper Rodger is the best skin no objections AANYWAY

Maid Tisha already has a model done😭 also the lil dude thing someone showed u earlier was just drawn to fill in empty space and then it turned into a whole meme and now there’s a emoji of him in the BC server

extra stuff first is just a doodle, second is brightvee🔥🔥, third is Boxten with glasses and Qwel made a ref to some tinkerbell movie character (chat kept calling Boxten a nerd so the glasses were given to brightney), fourth is Poppy’s old design (it’s getting turned into a skin

Also I have twisted Shelly concept art but it’s really gore body horror so just tell me if ur okay with that and I’ll show u it in reblog

OH. YES. MY NEWS ANCHOR IS BACK IN ACTION! okay first of all you got WHATSHOTS? EXCUSE ME? nevermind STAR ASTRO. STAR ASTRO. STAR ASTRO.

I LOVE YOU ASTRO STAR SKIN THEY EVEN KEPT THE BLUSH OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD YESSSSSSSSSSSSSDSDDSDDSSSSS HEHEHEHEHAHAHAHAHAHAHA YES YES YES YES THE JOY. THE JOY. IM SO HAPPY IM SO SO HAPPY THIS IS THE BEST NEWS GONNA BLWOUP THE BLUSHCRUCNH HEADQUARTERS. FOR THAT SKIN. YES! YESSSS! YES! . Okay im done for now

in other news MY FINN DESIGH IS CANON YALL HE HAS THE TAIL AND. Okay i lied im going back to star astro DUDE. HES LITERALLY SO CUTE IM SO HAPPY I. O WAS THINKING OF ASTRO EARLIER TODAY AND FELL ON THE CONCRETE I ATE DIRT FOR HIM. WE’RE TIGHT LIKE THIS 🤞 NOW BECAYSE I HUMILIATED MYSELF SO BAD TODAY.blushcrunch made this skin for M.E ME. AND ME ONLY. EVERYBODY MOOOVEEEEE *skitters away* okay i forgot. Lemme skitter back and look at these other skins too . Not as good as astro but i Guess theyre alright…..

the highlighter yellow pants for finn is???Crazy i Know he glows in the dark now Girl why are his pants shining😭😭😭😭😭😭😭THEYRE SO BRIGHT

I DREW SHELLY IN A DINO ONESIE TODAY IM LITERALLY TELEPATHICALLY CONNECTED TO THE CREATORS IM MIND CONTROLLING THEM TO MAKE THE SKINS I WANT. jr detective toodles. So cute.

iwanna Talk about astro Agghrhrr…Ggghhhh,… It hurts

okay.Hot take. i hate that sprout skin (GETS BOOOED OFF STAGE) ITS BADDDDD (TOMATOES GET THROWN) WHY HE GOT CARAMEL COVERING HIS EYE 😭😭😭��😭😭😭😭😭 (A BRICK GETS THROWN AT MY HEAD) i cant DO THIS HE LOOKS SO STUPIDDDEEWWWWWWW AOAOUGGHHHH😭😭😭😭

[v--143]

(Disclaimer: Omg. Hey guys. Have not written in forever, have had this in drafts for a while and finally finished it my goodness. I hope u like it I wrote all my thoughts here 🤓)

~

>My Skz Tckl Headcannons<

Bangchan

[Lee]

-As a Lee, I honestly think Channie would be adorable, like the most fun ever

-I feel like we all know he's CRAVING physical affection almost always, so he'd for sure be so happy and giggly the entire time

-He's always teasing the members, and if one day one of them retaliated and got him back, I think there'd be a series of "Hey hey hehey!"'s as he laughed and tried to run away uselessly; there mayyyy be a point in which his Ler side would come out and he’d grab at your hands to get you back.. but that’s only if he didn’t want to be tckled (which… I think he does want it🙂‍↔️)

-I think he'd throw his head back often and do his quick scream laughs I love him so nuchdnwjnejssnks

-He'd be trying to get you back as you were wrecking him for SUREEEE!! But if you really got him in a state where he can't, then I think he'd just let himself laugh while trying to not be tooooo embarrassed

-Since he'd most likely want it to happen too, it'd be so fun to tease him TONS and see his reactions, he's the cutie type to go along with it

-He would looove the attention he'd be receiving, so for sure he'd have great responses

-The "I want to swat at you but can't in case I hit you and hurt you" mindset would be so real for him and cause him to have to hold himself down

[Ler]

-RAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

-Teasiest ever ever ever maybe not to Lee Know’s level but VERYYY teasy like cute teasy rather than evil teasy

-“Ohhoh is this your tickle spot??” *smirk* STOOOOPPPPPPDONDDIOWKSKSKSJJSM

-He’d SOOOO be one to pull so many things like “oh my God you move so much! Stay still!!” AND “What aboooout here! Ooorrrr here!” AND “Your laugh is so cute- noooo don’t cover your face! I wanna see you. I want to hear it again!” Shejejnejjssokwmwn

-He’d be “rough” but not really, of course he’d give you a break if it really got too much but he’d be one to drive you up to your breaking point often, I think he’d get riled up by the adrenaline of the moment and just love the way you scream and try to get away from his hands

-He’d 100% laugh along with you I just KNOW IT

-SUPER sweet aftercare, probably cuddles and lots of hair pets and grabbing your waist to hold you close 🥰 maybe some additional teasing here and there 🌝

~~~

Lee Know

[Lee]

-Oh man

-Literally had to give myself a significant amount of time to think of him ehehehhehehe

-He’d try to fight you off SO BAD he’d be swatting kicking punching even tckling you back and he’d do it ROUGH like he’d make sure you wouldn’t try again

-Now.. I am a firm believer in the fact that Lino does want it sometimes… and I feel that in those moments he would still “fight back” but maybe more lazily

-Like he’d still put on this whole “oh noooo don’t tickle me pleeeease” show but we all know he’d want it

-OR maybe said person would ask him to just let them tckl him because they wanna see his reactions or whatever and he’d be like “FINE FINEE fine I hate this I hate you” (lovingly)

-Once you finally get to doing it somehow.. I think he’d try to 1) Cover his face a LOT so his redness doesn’t show 2) Swat at you gently while trying to control his urge to get you back 3) Completely lose it and turn the tables on you

-I think it depends on which situation he’s in but one of those 3 I think would be his response or maybe all 3 but just at different times.. and probably in order 🙂‍↔️

-He’d 100% try to get away, like scoot away from you and run he’d make it so fun

-Just definitely very shy, I think he’d laugh out loud yes but cover his face and be so so embarrassed but happy throughout it eueueuueue

-I think his laugh would just be so ADORABLE. Like his little “heheaAhaHA!” just gradually gets louder and more breathy, I think he’d wrap his arms around his torso and bundle up into a little ball rolling around trying to escape the hands going at him, and he’d probably throw his head back every time a bad spot was touched, followed by him grabbing at the hand yelling “stop!!”

-Tries to get Chan to tickle him often by pulling the hyung card

[Ler]

-TEASY tease he’d be a tease and I’d love him for it

-Verbally, physically, everything-ly a TEASE

-“Ohhh but you did this to me the other time!” “I need to get you back!” “Stay still come onn it’s gonna happen whether you try and stop me or not” “I’m going to start in less than ten seconds so be ready”

-Like I can IMAGINE IT

-OR physically ready he’d do that stupid finger crawl thing or stay in one spot for a while or put his face in your face to watch you laughhshsbhsndnlslwk

-He’d totally be one to stare at your face the whole time you laugh I’ve noticed he really likes to see people’s reactions, he would NOT let you cover your face LOLL

-I think the overpowering feeling he’d get would make him looooove tickling and being in control of the moment, seeing reactions and seeing just how many new ones he could get out of you

-10/10 phenomenal lovely love him

-I think he ENJOYS tickling both Hyunjin and Han the most, Lix honorable mention

~~~

Changbin

[Lee]

-He’d be so CUTEEEEE

-I love love love Bin’s smile like his genuine true smile is so good looking and his laugh is so funny

-I think the Ler wouldn’t be able to help themselves from laughing along with Bin, and this would just make the experience so much more fun and happy overall

-He’d be such a GENTLEMAN this man had politeness flowing through his veins

-Like he wouldn’t dare hit or hurt you I think if he accidentally swatted at you he’d apologize while still laughing as you continue to get him

-I think he’d try to cover his face at first but then just let himself be and focus on stopping you while not hurting you

-He’d be one to squeeze his eyes shut when it got bad and rub at the area attacked as if he was actually hurt 🙂‍↔️ dramatic guy I luv him

-If he were letting you tickle him then I think he’d grab a pillow or something to squeeze and maybe cover his face with for a while, and you’d be able to notice when he was flexing and trying to not let go of the pillow🥰

[Ler]

-HE’D BE SO FUN?!

-He’d overpower you in about.. a second

-But it would be so fun he’d DEFINITELY be one to grab both your wrists in one hand and hold them to the side as he attacked your ribcage with the other

-I think he’d laugh so hard at his Lee screaming/scream laughing really hard, but then he’d give such good care afterwards and be so nice and gentle

-He’d be nice DURING it too but nice as in “I want to see you in your happiest state” nice, aka potentially driving you to your breaking point 🤝🏻

-He’d be smiling as he watched your face contort while laughing, and I think he’d be one to go “Ooooo!” *poke* and then do his funny little giggle

-I love this man

-Wrestling would also be very probable

~~~

Hyunjin

[Lee]

-So STRINGY like a piece of silly string like a ragdoll when touched

-He’s so defensive all the time like Lino will poke him and he twitches as if he was tazed omg I’d love to go absolutely WILD on him and see how much he could really take bc I think he’s sensitive as hellllll

-I also feel like it depends on the person like I think Lino would be able to get him REALLY bad.. I think just the fact that it’s Lee Know would make the tickly feelings so much worse for him he just knows how to tease him right

-Pinning him or using restraints would be so fun because you’d see all his reactions and his usual covering himself up tactic wouldn’t work so he’d just have to take the sensations which would probably lead to some very loud screaming and fun reactions, it would make everything overall more interesting

-BUT on the CONTRARY if he wasn’t held down or tied then his reactions would be even better because he’d be kicking and hitting and doing all he could to scramble away, I think it would make the experience more fun

-This man is just so about REACTIONS like if he was managing to get away and you grab his wrist or ankle to drag him back, he’d scream “NOHO!” And burst out laughing even without being tickled just because he got that nervous buildup at knowing he failed to get away RAAHHHHH

-His laugh would get breathy as he repeated “Stop! Stohop! Stop stop stop!” And swatted at you

-Would be one to fold in on himself a lot to protect his sensitive spots, but then unfold as you begin to poke him all over

-His goofy teethy sweet round smile would be so AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH his little rounded teeth would be on full display

-I think he’d have to take frequent gulps of air, like if he was held down in a certain position and a certain sensitive spot was just being tickled relentlessly, he’d just shake his head back and forth screaming “WAHAHAIT AHA-“ *deep haha’s* *quick breath in* “STOP! STOHOHOP- AHAHA” *deep/low breath out, then back in quickly* “PLEHEASE!”

-DO YOU SEE MY VISION

[Ler]

-He’d be super silly and teasy for sure

-Like whenever he tickles Innie he’s always making little noises like “mimimimi”ing at him as he bites his neck or grabs at his stomach 😭😭

-This man is QUICK you guys have seen him dance he’s got those slim long fingers and that quickness in his body that would make it feel like he’s attacking you 24/7‼️ Even if you manage to grab one of his wrists, the other one is already crawling its way up your side, and when you go for that one, the other one escaped gory wrist and is now squeezing your rib, like you are NOT getting away

-He’d laugh along with you for sure but I think he’d be mostly focused on laughing at your reactions, still in a sweet way though 🥰

-He’d look at you so fondly euueueeueueue I feel like he’d only truly attack someone bad if he felt super close with them and felt a need to see them all happy and giggly which makes everything so CUTIEEEEEE

~~~

Han

[Lee]

-EEEE I LOOOOVEEEE HANJIIISSUUUUNNGGG

-Okay so basically the cutest ever

-You guys know his “HA-HA-HA!”’s? Like when somethings really funny and he just literally pronounces every HA perfectly because he’s running out of breath? YEAH LOTS OF THOSE

-I think he’d mumble his words a lot as he tried to get away from you, maybe like a “pleaseplease PLEHEHAHASE!! Nopleasestop Ican’ttakeitanymore- STOHOAHAP!” And he’d be super breathy as he said it

-I think he’d run out of breath fast because of how loud and breathy his natural laugh is I love it dhjsndjsjndkks

-He’d SO grab at his stomach and clutch it while bent over trying to catch his breath

-He’d have super jerky movements at times, like after some of his loud “HA”’s got out of the way he would be one to swing his shoulder really hard to one side or begin to kick his feet really quickly at the floor to slide away somehow

-Definitely would shake his head side to side really fast when it got really intense while mumbling “Nonononono” the whole time (and with a BIGGG smile on his face)

-Once weak enough I think he’d be grabbing your wrists but not stopping them, all his strength was drained 🙂‍↔️

-When done I think he’d be nervous to snuggle up with you incase you get him again but he’d definitely snuggle up with some stuffed animal or pillow and maybe let you hug him 🥰

[Ler]

-Hehhehehehehejehhehehejjejejhehehehejjehehehehe

-He’d be so BLUNT he would not be shy about saying things that are flustering to most 😭😭

-“Stay still I wanna see your face!”

-“How ticklish are you really? Tell me!!!!!”

-He’d do the coochiecoochiecoo thing omf I couldn’t even type that out with a straight face

-Many verbal teases like “OooOooo is it bad here?” and “Stay stihill! You squirm so much I need to hold you down or something!!”

-He’d be one to laugh along with you and his laugh is so contagious so you’d both be dying

-QUICK FINGERS. This man uses his fingers to count when singing I remember that one video and he is FAST. You’d be done for

-He’d go from spot to spot very quickly, switching from stomach to sides to digging into your ribcage to thighs to neck shdbdjnnskjajsn

-I feel like he’d be one to bury his face into your neck and latch onto your sides too, it’s as comfy position too like what’s there to lose 🥰 he’d reeelish in your reactions and his big gummy smile would display AHH I LOVE HIM

~~~

Felix

[Lee]

-Sososososoososososo CUTEEEEE

-His cutie little smile with his fangs showing Gooooddddd

-He’d be the type to put the back of his hand onto his forehead whenever it gets too much like in that “woe is me” position LMAO

-Eye contact. This man would try to maintain eye contact throughout most of the tickling UNLESS the ler was way more up front than he is (aka Lee Know)

-EYE CRINKLES MY GOD

-He’d definitely wrap his arms around his torso to try and protect himself… like if someone snuck up behind him and latched onto his sides, I think he’d wrap his arms around himself and just shake his head from side to side as he tried to laugh silently all while sliding down onto the floor

-AND and if you’re able to get one of his bad spots while he’s trying to shield himself, his eyes would go wide as he would yelp and then completely focus on that spot you targeted, making him just lose all control in the end

-He’d enjoy it so much like I think when done he’d have the wiiiiidest smile ever and would want to cuddle ALL day after that. You get at least 5 hours cuddle time with Lix if you decide to tickle him bad

-His high pitched squeals would be soso cutie

-He’d be such a SQUIRMER but he’d also WANT IT so he’d be conflicted between showing the two

-Little flinches here and there, also intense ones whenever you hit certain sensitive spots raaahhhh

[Ler]

-A little shit but in a good way

-I think he’d make 100% sure you’d be enjoying yourself, like he’d constantly be making sure you were smiling

-I don’t think he’d go suuuuper hard on you, only enough to make you smile and look really really happy while laughing

-Would probably be super teasy the MOMENT the Lee got super shy. Like if you show even an ounce of embarrassment or vulnerability I think that’d be his cue to just be sooo teasy

-Would rapidly go from one spot to another, like, RAPIDLY to make up twitch around and then eventually settle in one spot as he held you down

-EYE CONTACT. He would hold it the WHOLE TIME. And I think he’d have the widest smile ever if you tried to get back at himmmmm~

~~~

Seungmin

[Lee]

-Oh my goodness my precious baby

-“Heheeaha!” meanwhile I sob he’d be so cute

-His smile would be so wide the entire time and he’d dig his head into the pillow beside him as he laughed and his eyes would crinkle at how tightly he had them closed and and

-If you didn’t hit a particularly bad spot he’d swat at you or weakly grab at your wrists, but if you found a bad one he’d be like “Woa- woaAHAHA” and then grab your wrist super tight as he tried to get you off. Kicking would be present

-Would for sure stay still if it felt good. Like, if you two were just cuddling and your dragging your fingers along his sides or something, he’d smile to himself but do everything possible to remain still

-Would tempt you first but then act shocked when you retaliated

-Abs, ribs, legs the worst 🦍

[Ler]

-ASSHOLE (endearing)

-No mercy, literally the last person who would go easy on you in Skz

-If he knew you could barely move or just in a tight spot he would SOO take advantage of that

-Would be a pinner would 100% pin you down in any chance given and just go ham

-Quick fingers my God I think he’d have the ability to drive anyone insane

-Would go for any spot he could get that he knows would end you

-He’d be laughing both with AND at you 💀

-“HAHA, my God you’re dramatic!!”

-Very taunting

~~~

Jeongin

[Lee]

-MY CUTIEEEEEE

-SUCH a wide smile at all times and his laugh is loud and breathy, but when you can reeeeally get him laughing then it’s so pretty and well drawn out yk?!?!

-Flinches a lot and super super easily

-Lots of screaming. “AHH!”’s are common, as well as: “STOHOHOP” “NO!!” “HYUHUNG!!”

-Would act annoyed the entire time but really wasn’t, he’d be super happy afterwards

-Nervous to let it happen, excited when it’s happening, happy and content afterwards

[Ler]

-Teasy man

-He’d be soooo… he’d widen his eyes before getting you and his HANDS omg I know you guys have seen his hands. His hands would go CRAZY

-Would go mainly for your sides, hard quick squeezes that if done right will actually make you scream

-Would do it if he saw you bored or dozing off (menace)

-“Oh come on it’s not THAT bad” *laughs evilly*

-Would also be one to laugh at you. AT you. <3

[sluttywonwoo]

DEAR LORD THE WY ASK GOT ME SO EMOTIONAL???? WHY DO I SEE SAN AS SOMEONE THAT WOULD DO THAT TOO??? MAYBE NOT EXACTLY THE SAME BUT THE WHOLE JEALOUS TUNNEL VISION SHIFT TO GUILT AND TEARS?? ESP WITH HOW MUCH OF A SWITCH HE IS WHEN HE PERFORMS… THANK YOU FOR WRITING THAT. THAT WAS A GOOD READ ALSO THANK U TO THE USER THAT SENT THAT ASK. I LOVE U BOTH.

a san ver. you say… also the idea for woo was sent by my irl bestie @sluttywoozi <3

switch!san is literally so important to me

cw: rough sex!! lil bit of injury during sex (obvs mdni this is an nsfw blog)

“gotta be quiet, okay? as much as i want that asshole to hear you cumming on my cock, we don’t want to get kicked out, do we?”

you shake your head in response, which seems to satisfy your boyfriend. san rewards you by snapping his hips into yours, bending you over the bathroom sink as he does.

the marble countertop is cold on your tits. you can feel the chill of it through the thin material of your shirt.

when he dragged you into the bar’s bathroom, san hadn’t even bothered with undressing you all the way. he just pushed your skirt up and pulled your panties aside and fucked you like that. hard and rough and fast.

it felt good, but the pace he’d set had your hips repeatedly slamming into the counter and you’re starting to get sore. you can already feel the spots where your body meets the marble starting to bruise and you can only imagine what they’ll look like come morning.

“ah, ow…” you groan, trying to wrestle your arms free from where san has then pinned behind your back.

san freezes. “ow? what’s ow? what hurts?what’s wrong?”

he’s quick to pull out and turn you around, giving you a once over as he holds your hands in his.

“san, it’s nothing—”

“don’t fucking lie to me.”

“my… my hips were just starting to get sore from the countertop. but i’m fine, really.”

san lets your hands fall to your sides so that he can use his own to assess the extent of the damage. his thumbs press gently into your sides and you wince, whimpering under your breath.

“oh my god, baby. i’m so so sorry. let me go ask the bartender for some ice—”

“w-wait, but we’re not done,” you protest.

“baby,” he tries, zipping up his jeans. “you’re hurting.”

“it’s not that bad!” he gives you a look. “i promise! we can just try a different position.”

“why don’t we just wait until we get home?” san suggests. “that way you can be nice and comfortable on the bed.”

“i want it now,” you pout. “i didn’t get to cum yet. and you’re still hard.”

“of course i’m still hard. it’s you.”

“then take me against the wall or something.”

“i honestly don’t think i can look myself in the eye right now,” he admits, eyeing the giant mirror that hung above the sink. “especially not while i fuck you.”

you frown. “baby, please don’t feel bad. it was an accident.”

“that doesn’t make it ok!”

“i know, but you already apologized,” you point out. he’s quiet for a moment. “are you not in the mood anymore?”

“no, no, i am! i just… hate that i was too rough on you— over something so stupid too. i hate being that guy.”

“i know, baby. and you’re not,” you insist. “but if you really want to show me how sorry you are…” you trail off and san nods eagerly, willing to do practically anything to make it right. “why don’t you get down on your knees for me and start by making me feel good?”

[ganondoodle]

fuck it, elden ring DLC rant (spoilers) (long post ... oh dear)

so, to start this- this is a very emotional reaction, so take everything with a ton of salT (i need to get this out of my system bc i need to go and do stuff today, i literally couldnt get much more than 3 hours of sleep bc my mind was racing) i only know two screenshots and what others have told me (thank you) so i might be missing more context and havent seen or read it myself

(more details and spoilers for the DLC below the read more thingy)

also, just to explain a bit, i dont usually get this upset about things i like, i like alot of things, but its RARE as fuck that i care, like actually care care about something, and that just kinda happens, i dont choose it or can decide to not care, i just do, and when something like this happens its like ... a sort of grief? i cant help but care about it but it messes with me emotionally, i have no control over it and cant change anything about it when it gets bad or done dirty, leavign me to just have to watch it be real even when i dont want to accept it-- i wouldnt say so much that i 'expect' somethign specific and cant handle when its not like that (common accusation about disliking totk)- and no i dont have somethign specific in mind, i just dont want it to be bad OR things that seem done and closed off suddendly out of nowhere be revealed to 'actually' have been like this, new stuff that either makes no sense or invalidates alot about what i valued about it, what i thought was the point

(i remember two .. my only two other intersts before- see what i mean RARE- that also went down simiarly like this; transformers (bay movies and mainly prime series, listen i didnt choose it either) with each movie it got more messy and stupid, primes second(?) season had an end i hated and the following movie was the final nail in the coffin- and one piece after that, which i slowly fell out of love with bc every chapter seemed to go more into a direction i didnt like, then the reveal that luffy is a god actually was my final ok i hate that moment)

i knew demise for a long time but wasnt obsessed about him at all, it took me learning about how hylia was depicted in a non canon (?) manga (which made me annoyed me bc i didnt like it and made a design for her to counter demises instead) and then reading his few lines of dialog about her again that it suddendly HIT me, like cupids arrow into my head-- i liked but wasnt that super interested into elden ring until radahn showed up, instantly his design made me go owo and then learning his (base game) lore it HIT me (i love sort of tragic side characters that might have been powerful or heroic at some point but now arent anymore- not saying he is that elden rings lore i messy and no ones good tm- and especially so if that character is widely hated for no good reason, dismissed or forgotten, has little lore etc)

i have things i like but dont care this much about, like okami or bloodborne, i like it alot, theres characters i really like (oki) but im not like, fixated on them?- and to have two at the same time, while not equally strong, i dont think i had before, and then have both be damaged or potentially lose it in a similar way within barely a year hurts so damn much--- anyway, getting into the actual rant now lol

so, to sum things up (that i know), in the elden ring DLC later on

miquella is actually a master manipulator and brainwasher (even to his sister???? which means alot of impactful things about his relationship to people is kinda invalidated or made meaningless, shitty)

he wanted to become a god by marrying radahn (his half? brother, same father) of all people that has never been mentioned before until now somehow?? ) you can argue it was hinted to but i find it completely out of left field

miquella sent malenia after radahn to kill him so he could be put into the realm of shadow so miquella could marry him (there were better candidates for that??)- its unclear (to me) if radahn ever actually accepted when sound of mind or even knew about it at all, but failed and he was isntead inflicted with rot to slowly waste away but not die (like he is in base game)

which also means that, what i found really impactful in base game, the festival of radahn, that i thought was a tragic sort of last wish/effort for of radahn to grant him an honorable death as a respected general after being made into mindless people eating zombie, organized by his soldiers/friends- might have been just yet another attempt to kill him and get him over there to miquella (and even if not, it still makes it way less impactful and now i feel like letting him continue to roam as a zombie is more of a favor than killing him bc hes just gonna a puppet again! which turns the whole tradgedy of the stuff in base game on its head imo)

you need to kill him to get into the DLC (and i was even sus of that but shrugged it off when i heard it ..) bc that way miquella could take whatever was left of his soul and stitch it into mohgs corpse?? (which is why hes so small in that DLC fight) bc his body was rotten by that point, which also allowed miquella to control radahn and make him agree, force him to do whatever miq wanted (which ALSO might mean mohg 'kidnapping' miquella wasnt that actually but mohg too was manipulated so oud kill him and make his remains usable)

radahn in DLC is a voiceless meat puppet essentially ... like a mindless rotting zombie eating friends and fow alike wasnt enough- also means that we never ACTUALLY GET OT KNOW RADAHN HIMSELF bc hes eithe a zombie or a literal puppet (if you are gonna do him dirty at least let us meet actual real him *cries*)

his fight is super hard apparently (though i have been hearing people complain about the entire DLC being too hard, while the -casual player- streamer i watched is beating main bosses so fast they dont even get to start their second phase) when his fight in base game, and him by extentsion, was also hated bc of that ALREADY, which means more people are gonna hate his guts (he doesnt deserve that!!) AND most people probably wont get or care that its not actually HIM him so its like a repeat boss that everyone hates

it feels weirldy forced in for it to be radahn (like miquella was already said to be one of the strongest gods out there .. why hed want radahn so badly when his goal seemed to be rather .. combat less?? if you get what i mean, and radahn also rejected him??? and the tarnished is right there too????) bc theres plenty others it would have worked with that are barely used- it feels like someone jsut wanting him to be tha main guy not matter what (when he worked so much better as a side character!!!!)

a tragic but well rounded off side character (imo) was made into the main guy this is all about actually tm (i generally dont like main guys and this jsut feels so .... it just hurts, it didnt feel foreshadowed at all, and its not even truly HIM that is reveal to be a creepy asshat but hes just manipulated and controlled with the whole time, be it by rot or miquella)

and for miquella its like, no theres no even mildly good people there, hes brainwashed and manipulated everyone actually tm, a giant plan all to force his half brother into marrying him by making him into a corpse puppet bc he rejected miquella- inlcuding potentially manipulating his own twin sister, which goes agaisnt what you learn of what hes done for her in the base game i think?? (not that much into that part but yeah ... it feels unfair to her too)

it also kinda just leaves other lore from the base game in the dust? like the whole haligtree plan, how miquella cared for the rejected (i guess he didnt then??? and it was just more manipulation tm??) that castle with the eclipse stuff

(is the gloom eyes queen, marika, and or st trina even .. important at all to any of this??)

ok from reading tweets from people talkign about it, miquella says radahn agreed apparently but whether thats true remains uncertain and given the circumstances i do not think radahn did- others said that it kinda sounds he agreed to something that he didnt think would involve him marrying miquella

everything feels like its in shambles for every fan of every involved chaarcter

yes i know you can argue that it was all planned from the start and meant to be a twist and everything and that people having a different idea of characters isnt the fault of the creators .... only to some degree bc why then build up make so much lore and story about stuff that turns out to be like saying 'actually it was all a lie' like its not valid to feel betrayed then, you can plan things out all you want but that doesnt mean it cant be bad oder underwhelming

(i wished to be able to meet or know more about radahn but like in a non rot way or like past flashback whatever kind of way and then not like this anyway, like i was interested into his relationship with jerren and just .. more about him i suppose the monkey paw has curled hasnt it -or however you say that-)

and there i was like two days ago going "omg radahn mention!!!" when that one .. feyja? NPC says she fought alongside him at some point ............................................................

leonard isnt there in the DLC to my knowledge, you know it cant be truly radahn if his horse isnt there (the sole reason he learned gravitiy magic for and it stayed with him even after the rot!!! i know people have started to hate it bc people love that but i love that, it made him so endearing to me, like a character i already found cool omg has a confirmed softer spot??? in MY fromsoftware title??)

sorry for the long post of rambling, i am a mess, barely slept 3 hours, yes i am weird to care, autisms or whatever .. i need to go somewhere in an hour and havent prepared as all bc i needed my thoughts out of my head- might have forgotten stuff, idk if i will add it later or just kinda .. stew in it for a while

(and yes a big point why i feel so strongly is both bc its just gonna make more people hate him even more AND feels so invalidating of alot of other stuff- pulls other characters down with it- the entire time i was watching the streams i and trailers i thought i was like, its onw thing, with miquellas littel adventure and more background info on marika mostly on its own from the base game BUT NO I GUESS)

(read all this in the sense of an utteraly disoriented confused and drunken seagull yelling around pls i am not in serious mental distress ..)

[oldiesstationlover11607]

🎶Oh my God, we’re back again🎶

Well hello….it’s 💛. You said that my requests make you happy and that you don’t mind them so I have returned. By the way, if this ever changes, do not hesitate to tell me. Even if you just don’t want to write TØP anymore. I’m a fan of a lot of fandoms you appear to write for, so I’d probably be able to request other things (again, only if you don’t mind me doing so). For what it’s worth, your stories are the highlight of my day. I frequently reread them when I’m feeling down or in need of an escape.

Alright, enough with my sappiness. You know that meme of the girl explaining something to her mom and the mom is just like 😐 (google “Me explaining to my mom meme” and it should be the first pic that shows up)? I was thinking that a fun story would be Josh trying (and maybe failing) to explain TØP lore to the reader. It doesn’t have to go super in depth to things by any means. I just can imagine that such a scenario has happened before and, quite honestly, half the time I don’t even know the lore. As always, if you hate this idea, no pressure to do it. ❤️❤️

Lore - Josh Dun x Reader

Pairing: Josh x Reader

Warnings: None :)

Word Count: 1374

A/N: I love that you re-read my stuff. It makes me so happy that it’s the highlight of your day. Getting your requests is the highlight of mine, writing helps me relax at the end of the day-especially with how rough it is being in senior year (I’m in the southern hemisphere and finish school late November so exams are imminent 😭). I actually re-read some of mine quite a bit. Honestly I’m so proud of the number 16 cotton candy. The way part 2 ended made me want to cry - I believe I ATE that if I do say so myself 🙌. It makes me want to add more parts, like the reader watching Clancy perform on Good Day Dema and seeing how upset/zoned out he looks and being hurt by it, the conversations they have after reuniting, more of that series’ torchbearer bc he’s funny af, and more! Literally love this request btw bc I tried explaining the lore to my mom and she pulled the exact face in the meme. 

Tyler and Josh were always on social media. It had always been a key part of their relationship with the clique, and I’d noticed it more and more when they started tagging me in memes and pictures that I didn’t know the meanings of. 

“Josh?” I asked. We were sitting on the couch under a blanket in our apartment, the weather outside cold and rainy. Josh looked down at me, I’d planted myself in his lap, my head resting perfectly on his thighs while the rest of my body stretched out across the couch. 

“Yeah?” I brought my phone up to his face. 

“What’s a forest fic and why are the clique tagging me in memes saying you don’t exist?” His face dropped, mouth open wide in shock. “Tyler reposted something about it earlier and I don't get it.” He said nothing, the silence in the room growing with every second. “What?” I could tell he was trying to frame a way to tell me the truth, surely it wasn’t that bad.

“It’s a uh….uhhhh, like a fan fiction. And like….uhhh… I’m like not real in it… like a figment of Tyler’s imagination. Uhh and then a treehouse burns down THE END,” he mumbled, stumbling through the words and giving the worst plot description I’d ever heard. I was still confused. “That’s all you will EVER need to know… no need to look it up or mention it ever again.” He flashed me a quick smile before going back to his phone. I sat there for a few moments trying to understand his words before continuing. 

“But how is that relevant to whatever Tyler posted this morning?” 

He let out a loud sigh, telling me I was starting to get on his nerves. He put down his phone and properly sat up, giving me his full attention.

“It’s related to the lore of the new album, the whole Dema thing,” he explained. I knew that over the last few albums the boys had been telling some big story but that it was too complex to just google and learn about in five minutes. 

“Like how your character is the Torchbearer?” I asked and he nodded in response. “But how is that related to you not existing?”

“Do you really want me to explain the whole lore to you?” he laughed. 

“Yeah, I guess today’s the day.”

Josh had tried to explain everything as clearly as he could but it still didn’t make any sense. He explained that he was called the Torchbearer–which I’d proudly already known–and that Tyler was called Clancy. He also said that Clancy was trying to escape Dema because of the Bishops–I still didn’t really understand the concept of the Bishops… or Dema for that matter. 

“Wait, wait, wait, so you’re saying that there’s like… nine different Bishops?” I asked, trying to get my head around it. 

Josh nodded, “And they’re in charge of different sectors of Dema where the citizens live.” 

“If I’m being 100% honest, I have no idea where we are on the timeline or what the difference between Trench and Dema is,” I laughed. Josh covered his eyes and shook his head. He grabbed his phone, sending off a couple of texts before continuing trying to explain the lore. After about an hour, we both had our computers out, Josh was on the clique side of reddit and I was taking notes, typing frantically. A loud knock sounded from the door and I got up to answer it. It was Tyler, standing in the doorway with a large blanket with ��twenty one pilots’ printed on it, snacks–including my favorite candy, the mask he’d worn during all the Clancy promotional stuff, a roll of yellow tape, and a stuffed animal which looked like a fat goat. 

“Where’s Josh? I heard there was an emergency and I came prepared,” he spoke, running inside and jumping on the couch next to my boyfriend. Closing the door I chuckled to myself and walked back over to the boys. “Josh said you wanted to learn the lore.”

“Well I tried explaining it to her myself but she wasn’t getting it,” Josh claimed. 

“That’s because you don’t get the lore yourself, come on,” Tyler laughed. He grabbed Josh’s computer and switched the tab to YouTube. “To start with, watch this.” He started playing the band’s ‘The Story’ playlist which featured all of the lore-related music videos. We started with Heavy Dirty Soul–which I’d seen before–and then went on to watch the videos from Trench. 

“Okay so Tyler’s character, Clancy, basically tries escaping Dema but then gets taken back. Josh’s character, the Torchbearer, is in charge of the Banditos–the rebellion group–and gets Tyler–sorry Clancy out of the city and takes him to the camp but then he gets captured again?” 

Tyler nodded, confirming my understanding. We continued watching the music videos till we got to ‘The Outside’. Josh  pulled out the stuffed animal and passed it to me before pressing play. I watched the video, Josh leading Tyler through an island and into a cave. A small gremlin with black eyes, gray horns, and white fur popped onto the screen, the exact same creature the stuffed animal was modeled off of. He jumped about the dark cave mysteriously, leading Tyler to a larger group of them. “Oh my god what is that thing?” I moved into Josh, cuddling up to him, completely stunned at this creature who was both cute and terrifying at the same time. 

“It’s Ned,” he smiled, “it stands for Neuro-Expansion Device.” I nodded and continued to watch the video. Tyler had gotten the horns from Ned and was able to control the dead bishop I’d learned to be Keons. When we finally reached Navigating, Josh paused the video. “This is the video those instagram memes were referring to, the ones Tyler has been reposting.” Tyler pressed play and we sat through the entire thing. The song was catchy and the video showed Josh leading Tyler through the forest and back into Trench after leaving the island Vøldsoy. What I didn’t expect was for Josh’s character to be a figment of Tyler’s imagination and the real Torchbearer to be the Bandito one from the Trench videos. 

“WHAT?!” I gasped, “NO WAY.” There was no way this whole time the Torchbearer was not there for Clancy. I wanted to cry from how sad it was and I had to find out how the story ended. “Wait so what happens next?” 

Tyler sat up and put the computer away, “Well basically we have another music video for Paladin Strait but that’s not coming out for a while. We’ve also got some lore stuff planned for the tour so I’ve got to finalize that soon too.” 

I nodded listening to everything he was saying and trying to remember the few follow up questions I had. “So, the bishops,” I started. 

“Yeah, what about them?” Josh asked, wrapping his arms around me. 

“So I get that Keons and Nico are the main ones but what about the others? Like what kind of a name is Nills?” Tyler laughed loudly, bringing a hand up to his chest.

“They’re from the songs off Blurryface, like Sacarver, “she’s a carver,” he explained. 

“Oh so you went through the lyrics and highlighted things that sounded vaguely like names?” Josh seemed to find that hilarious because he nearly fell off the couch. Tyler however, found it less funny and rolled his eyes. 

“Okay, I think that’s enough for today,” he got up and packed up the blanket. “You can keep the Ned by the way.” I grinned and cuddled him closer to me. 

“Thanks for the help Tyler,” Josh held me against his chest. 

“No worries,” he smiled before leaving the apartment. Josh and I were left to ourselves, the rain still pattered on the roof and I could hear the occasional grumble of thunder. 

“So Torchbearer, what’s the plan for dinner?” I asked, getting up off the couch. I got up, put away all the snacks and drinks while Josh folded up our blankets. 

“You’re never going to stop calling me that are you?” he laughed. 

“What’s that? I can’t see you, maybe you’re not really here.”

//

Hopefully this is good, I wasn't too sure about it but I think it's worth publishing. I'm so glad that I have 💛 anon bc their requests are awesome and I love hearing their feedback. I felt guilty last night about declining a Joshler fic but bc of 💛 saying I should write what I want it felt okay.

[theajaheira]

your tags on that fandom post got me thinking of how... defensive fandom is of the status quo kinda? like I'm white so this might come off like I'm absolving myself which I'm not, but so often I see "fandom is a queer run space that fixes canon! buuuut we're going to focus on the white men because they're the only ones with depth :) and we're going to make actually good female characters cookie cutter. and we're going to ignore black men and especially black women. but queer run safe space!!"

the minute i got this ask i knew i had to wait until i was at home with my laptop because my fingers cannot fly as fast on my phone as they can on the computer keys. this is literally so much of what is happening in the buffy fandom. the whole thing is built on intrinsic systemic racism n misogyny that's reinforced within the show and that many in the fandom do not critically engage with in the slightest. it is absolutely objectively insane to me that i can make a post going, for example, "hey, isn't it fucked up as hell that the show treats the romani people as evil for wanting angel to suffer?" and then people will come into my inbox or land in my reblogs and go "well, actually, the show treats the romani people as shortsighted and bad at long-term planning, and i choose to read them that way too :)" and fully not see that there is a hell of a problem with THAT statement as well (real thing that happened). OR that kennedy hate is still hugely in vogue because she's mean and bratty and terrible and doesn't know her place!!! OR kendra's death & how easily she is forgotten by the fandom!!!!! OR the entire trend of handing buffy to a person's favorite character like a little trophy they've earned for being tortured and sad, reducing her to a facet of a romantic relationship & implying that this is what she needs to feel and be complete!

OR OH MY GOD THE ENTIRETY OF EVERYTHING SURROUNDING SPIKE. where do i even start with spike. completely serious, i am honestly endlessly impressed by the people who can still handle being fans of spike, because being a fan of spike means having to wade through 20 million fics where That Bitch Buffy must be narratively punished for abusing poor baby spike who only ever wanted to love her and was totally out of character every time he hurt her (and also drusilla is a vapid whore who didn't love spike, ever.) like i am not at this point in time always strong enough to engage with spike content simply because there is so much spike content that is SOAKED in violent misogyny repackaged as Deep, Torrid Romance. it's exhausting to try and find the good stuff when sometimes even the good stuff will throw you a curveball in chapter five or shy uncomfortably away from the racist realities of spike's character. the fact that robin wood has been hated for so long because he had the Nerve and the Audacity to want retribution for his mom, and that he is framed as in the wrong for wanting that, is in and of itself so fucking upsetting to me.

AN Y WAY. i agree with you. and i get what you're saying. i think an awareness of the pattern and a willingness to feel uncomfortable within your own mistakes is always a good place to start. i try so hard never to dig my heels in if i can avoid it.

[mercymermaid]

well here's my full season 5 (nezha edition) rant bc what did i just watch

obvious spoilers 💀

what the fuck was that

blah blah animation, blah blah main character sacrifice, wowee

first off, the mechs?? yeah, i know it's just product placement, and i've never actually liked the concept. in a world of mythology and magic, something to technological belongs in a sci-fi movie, not among gods. and in season 5 especially, they feel *so* out of place. the only people who end up actually using their mech are nezha (twice) and mei (once.) i can't be mad at mei, since yeah it's just one time to have an epic moment and goes away after that, but it's nezha that i'm mad about. that standoff at the festival? okay, product placement, epic moment, never brought up again. but then during the battle thing against the chaos guy??? he's the *only one* using a mech and it ticks me off. i wanna see the third lotus prince not the third lotuce mech!! i wanna see him being all badass with his staff and firewheels (like sealing off the jade emperor's power in s4)

i'm gonna be so honest, i only watched the season (and show) for nezha, as i tend to do to medias when i have a top unbeatable absolute favorite. and the show did not deliver.

tldr; nezha had so much potential and all of it went right down the drain

speaking of the power

so you're telling me that mr. "my job is super duper important and more important than my life" would take lightly to his dad going "lmao no" and just taking his seal and reinforcing it with his little magic house?

OH. THE LI JING SITUATION.

"i've always been proud of you" NO YOU HAVE NOT??? YOU HATED NEZHA SO MUCH YOU BURNT DOWN HIS TEMPLE AND LITERALLY YOU GUYS HAVE A BURNING HATRED TOWARDS EACH OTHER?????

i wanted a fucking fight scene SO BAD. SO FUCKING BAD. but noooOOOOOO you're DEFENDING YOUR BITCH DAD??? okay, i get it, power imbalance or something! give nezha a *reason* to be so buddy buddy with his dad, because he sure as hell wouldn't do it without one!!

that ties in to the whole pagoda thing, how fucking hurtful must it be for your dad, who you are far from on good terms with, to pop in, take the power you've put on your shoulders, deem you not good enough ("you got demoted!"), and push you around?? very! very very!

you do not understand what i would've done, what war crimes i would've committed in order for nezha to get some focus on HIM. specifically angst. with the shit that he went through in s3, being nerfed and having his long-term position as guardian of the map pulled out from right under him by his little friendly rival, and then *s4*, getting his ass absolutely kicked by the shit that went down with azure, being the most injured and put under the giant strain of containing the jade emperor's power, you're not gonna elaborate and give him some depth besides "big brother energy but distant and super 'regal'"?? (btw if you've ever EVER written nezha angst (or even some nezha-centric stuff in general) on ao3 i've probably read it and oh my god i love you so much for gifting it to the world, and if you read this far recs are always appreciated 😭)

actually on that note, mk is the one constantly making trauma jokes, and while i get that he's the main character, everyone's gone through shit. s5 at least kind of works with that, with mei's samadhi fire thing and wukong/macaque's death memory thing, along with pigsy's insecurity moment and sandy's little "i'm very very angry but i control myself" spiel, but like come on ☹️ (not a ruse to get nezha some angsty focus wdym)

ALSO mk breaking the seal? yk how in s4 we had that little thing where their eyes flashed and they felt the jade emperor die? i was lowkey expecting a little similar shot of nezha feeling his seal on the power break but no we needed the emotional moment 😒

i was so excited in the festival scene for nezha to go "yeah, okay, i see you", fight against his father, and join the MCG, but nooooOoo he gets sent to the celestial realm to not be seen until the end of the world

OH SPEAKING OF not nezha but red son??? what happened to the poor guy i feel so bad for red son enjoyers because he had ONE EPISODE of screen time. that's worse than us nezha fans. that little bit about the dog videos meaning help us could've so been used later, he literally joked about how this time he was invited and just. didn't show up?? there could've been such a sick moment of mei sending the dog video, and red son seeing it and coming in and being all badass with them but no he was just literally not featured again except for the 'world is ending/being saved' flash shots. (unrelated but please i want canon big brother nezha lil bro red son content those guys are Iconic)

ANYWAY it's coming to an end now, and boy oh boy

basically i have futile, naive hopes for s6 - please, PLEASE give nezha focus that lasts longer than 1-2 scenes. it literally does not have to be angsty, nor big brother energy, not even a badass moment!! just make it mechless and put the camera on *him*, and i will die a happy woman. (another badass moment, in which he wins for once, would make me cry for joy. a big brother, to literally anybody, specifically red son or mk, would make shake and snarl like a feral animal. an angsty moment would make me force the world to be puppies and rainbows. a nezha episode would make me implode and take the world with it.)

bring back li jing and do it *right*. make nezha bring up their horrible past, and at that point, i'd even settle for a corny talk-it-out session with wise words and an issue that gets resolved way too quickly, though an epic fight scene would be preferable. angst not optional, because you can't tell me that interaction would end without tears and breakdowns on nezha's end. (at this point, i'll write it myself)

LET NEZHA WIN. i do not care what he fights, who he fights, when he fights, why he fights, how he fights, let him actually cop a win for once. this fearsome general who was entrusted with guarding the samadhi map, is a protector deity, and managed to singlehandedly contain the jade emperor's power has never won a single fight within his show screen time?? bull fucking shit i tell you. stop treating this guy who carried the end of s4 like some shit side character who never gets his way, and start treating the guy right.

can you tell i'm mad about this

also ACTUAL s5 thing, not gonna lie, mk's decision is stupid. nüwa is trying to protect her creations like a good mighty goddess, and you go "erm actually me some random guy who you created to save the world and was about to do so is gonna undo all of your work and decide to make my own path and simultaneously create a massive crisis where i not only flip normal on its ass and give everyone magic but also potentially unleash the same cosmis horror you're protecting us from"

i'm kinda curious about this new magic tho... (pls have a negative effect or some sort of effect) (pls let nezha win)

yeah okay i think that's it if you've stuck around to the end here's a selection of desserts because you need it after the crash of the season ending 🍮🍭🍬🍫🥧🧁🍰🍪🎂🍩🍨🍧🍦🥠🍡🥮🍥

[iguessitsjustme]

Love Sea Episode 2 Thoughts

Okay. I just got home. Saw a strange little movie but it was soooo good. It needs to win awards for the sound mixing because it was brilliant. But I digress. Now I’m gonna go from a movie that made me shed 3 whole tears (impressive if you know me) to Love Sea. But I was promised that this week is at least…fine. Anyway, as always, liveblog under the cut:

Why was I logged out of IQIYI? Very confused why it wasn’t working but figured it out. I’m too tired for this honestly.

Okay just had a fight IQIYI for sound. Anyway, I’m gonna need a nap immediately after watching this.

Note to self: never go from a movie with quite literally some of the best sound mixing I’ve ever heard to BL. Especially MAME. Just don’t do it. It’s not fair to the show. That said, this is hurting my ears.

I was distracted by the god awful audio and wasn’t paying attention. I beg your pardon hWAT

We went from some extremes here. Didn’t you just think he was drowning and you were mad at him for that? Rightfully so? Horny boys….

The way I would not eat that clam. Mostly because my body has informed me that legally I cannot but also because I would be so pissed at having someone’s hand in front of my face.

Save Mook. Save her. Was Vie just…staring out her peephole for 30 minutes watching her? Like some sort of creep? Girl why? I hate how hot you are. Be a better person.

Is this…consensual? In a MAME show? Am I dreaming?

But also boys. Boys. The sand. Boys the sand. At least lay down a towel first or something.

He’s gonna write about this isn’t he?

Brings new meaning to post nut clarity. Cured his writer’s block…for now.

Can you hear my laughter at Mut being so confused why Rak is now writing? “Am I losing my touch?” As much as I would love you to have your ego bruised, I think you actually rocked his world so hard you helped him in more ways than one. Alas. It’s always the characters I hate that the show makes good in bed.

Oh look at all of Rak’s works. Look at our successful boy.

Save Mook. Kill Vie. What’s wrong with her? Just say you want to spend time with her. Don’t disparage yourself and make her your own personal slave I hate you.

I have now seen more ass than I wished to see today. Thank you Love Sea but also no thank you. Also jerkin it in the shower. Will Rak join him? Only time will tell! he did

I have seen…so much...tongue…in just one episode.

Honestly it’s a damn shame the sound mixing is so bad. I’m not actually hating this episode. Strange. But I need it to stop assaulting my ears.

BL boys stop opening condoms with their mouth challenge 2k24.

BAHASDHGKSJHDGKJHSDG give the translators a raise actually

Vie keep your lips to yourself. That was…gross. A reward would have been not making Mook do all of that work. Not…that. I hate it here. Imagine if the GL didn’t suck. Imagine that.

Why is Mook excited by that? Girl. You need friends. Friends would help you get a backbone. And also tell you what just happened is not okay.

Helmets? HELMETS? In my BL? I can’t believe my eyes.

I will keep my thoughts about the scene in which Rak talks about being a writer to myself. My thoughts are between me and god. And also anyone who asks. But you gotta ask for em.

Now IQIYI. I can’t read that. I have many skills but reading Thai is not one of them.

Did that man just jump into the water…on his own…specifically after having a problem with Mut doing that? I get it’s a different situation but my guy. MY GUY. There is no water safety in the show and I’m gonna lose my mind.

And this is why you don’t DIVE ALONE. I am losing it. Absolutely losing it.

Sure wish I knew what those texts said right about now.

I did not hate this episode. I did not hate them. I am…confused. Baffled even. I do think perhaps one scene in particular was a bit…no. I shan’t say. But just know that I am correct in my thoughts. I might actually be kind of looking forward to the next episode. Hopefully it doesn’t assault my ears dear god.

[carolinenoddlesoup]

An open letter to my ex

A year later and it’s still hard to wrap my head around what happened. That the man who could act like that and make me fear for my life is the same man who cooked broccoli on one of our first dates because I said one time it was my favorite vegetable. The man who paid enough attention to get me a perfect birthday present after dating for a month.

Even with all the fights and you waffling back and forth between hating me and loving me, I still truly believed you would never do anything to harm me.

Because god when things were good between us they were so so good. You were everything that I wanted. I thought that this is it, how could I ever want anyone else.

But then things got worse and worse. And the accusations of cheating started. You picking fights every time I went to hang out with my friends. Or acting sad and depressed when I tried to go somewhere without you.

My friends and family were so concerned for me. Telling me I deserved better, and I thought oh they don’t really know him. They are just focusing on the bad stuff. What about all these sweet and amazing things he’s done for me. I thought they don’t really know what they are talking about things aren’t as bad as they think.

And I was right, things weren’t as bad as they thought they were worse.

Honestly, knowing that even know I’m not sure i could stay away from you if we were allowed contact terrifies me. It almost scares me more than that night.

Because I didn’t just lose my partner. I lost my best friend. I lost someone who I thought would be my ride or die. Someone who I expected to have around in some fashion for the rest of my life.

So fuck as much as you hurt me and as much as I am scared of you. I really truly and deeply miss you.

It has been exactly one year since you altered my life in every way. Since I told you no and you completely and utterly lost it. Since you trapped me in your room and refused to let me leave. Since you took out a gun case and threatened to kill your self and your dog.

You broke me in a way I didn’t think would ever happen. I was terrified of you that night. Yet in my very bones right down to my core. I know that if we had spoken, or you weren’t legally prohibited from contacting me I would have given in. You would haves wormed your way right back into my heart, because that is how much I loved you.

When you grabbed me and shoved me down onto your bed is seared into my mind. I can see the pure hatred on your face and I can feel my body lock up with the fear that you are either about to rape me or kill me or both. And then you didn’t. That switch flipped again and suddenly you looked so sad and mournful and tried to get me to give in and hug you and say everything is ok. And when I didn’t the fury literally shuddered through your body.

I don’t know how I got around you. I don’t know how I got out. I don’t know how I got home. I have never run that fast and probably never will again.

In the aftermath for a long time, seeing a white Silverado made my heart rate rise and my hands clammy. I couldn’t hear the sound of anything hitting glass for months because of you.

And it wasn’t just that night. You treated me terribly for so long. I just ignored them because I loved you. And I thought that you loved me. Maybe you did but you couldn’t show it.

You tired to take everything from me. You ruined my favorite song. The song that had been my favorite since I was 12 years old.

But here’s the thing. I have fought like hell. I have scrambled and pushed and fought to get out of the fog you put me in. I have done everything I could and worked my ass off to not lose myself in the injustice you forced on me. A smaller part of me each day still lives in that room. I’m not sure I will ever fully leave it but it has less and less of a grip on me with each step I take towards healing.

Now a year later I can finally say you are no longer winning. I can feel myself coming out of that fog. I can almost enjoy my favorite song again. The sounds of something hitting glass doesn’t make me jump out of my skin.

I don’t wake up every night in a panic. And while there are still many things I am working through and demons to fight but I know that I can do it. I know that despite your best efforts you will not take over my life.

There was life before you and there sure as hell will be life after you. My life may not be the same anymore, and I have changed and reshaped and grown more than I thought I could have. But you will not control my narrative anymore.

[what-do-1000-swords-look-like]

The anti reactions from yesterday have me just shaking my head. I am by no means a professed stan of Jensen. I'm a fan of his works and I've followed his career, I appreciate his interactions with the public (like cons) as well as his public persona, but I don't worship the ground the guy walks on. He's a human being who I enjoy watching on my screen from time to time in different roles or displaying said public persona. That's it. I support him, but I don't stan him blindly, if that makes sense. Not him or any other celebrity.

That being said, I found the anti/critical reactions to something Jensen allegedly said that had been tweeted out from the Dallas Con to be very interesting and highly entertaining in some cases, especially with one particular anti blog that consistently claims to love this man and want the best for him while psychoanalyzing him and hating (and blaming everything that Jensen does/says that disappoints them) on his wife with the maturity level of a fourth grader. To put it bluntly, antis showed their asses yesterday and it is pure confirmation of what I and so many on here have been saying for quite some time now in regards to these posts/blogs.

Yesterday:

Tweet from the Gold Panel: "Jensen: 'he and I don't take on projects for the impact, we're serious about what we do.'"

Me: 'huh, you know, that wording seems a bit... Eh, you know what, knowing Jensen and how this fandom works anytime he dares to breathe, I'm going to wait to see the panel myself tomorrow and get the context of the question and his answer. If anything, he just misspoke, but I highly doubt he meant it in a bad way. Knowing him, he absolutely cares about the impact it has had on so many people and he might have thought the asker meant something else. Still, I'mma wait and see for myself.'

Antis:

and one particular blog (the one that claims to love him be in love with him):

'Jensen, you're no true actor and I would know since I'm an expert on acting! How dare you! You've hurt me so deeply!'

Today:

I watched the Gold Panel. Question was did the guys think about how massive the impact SPN would be in reference to their careers aka people knowing who they are, people following them, etc. Basically, did they know what it would become, something Jensen clarifies with the fan before answering. Jensen's actual response:

"Yeah, I don't, I mean, I guess to kind of quickly break it down, I don't think he and I go into any of these, uh, jobs or roles or stories thinking about the impact it's going to have externally. I think we go into it as...you know, they hire us to come in and do a job and...and he and I both, uh, we both take that job seriously even though it may not look like it all the time. But we also have a lot of fun doing the job because we truly enjoy doing what we do. That being said, we're not thinking 'oh let's do this because I want the effect that's going to have on a greater scale'. We're just doing our job. And hopefully, it resonates to people. Hopefully, somebody out there is entertained. And if that's the case, then we've done our job."

Me trying to see what had the antis losing their minds, especially that one blog and NOT finding it anywhere:

This is why you always watch the panels for yourself and avoid anti posts/blogs at all costs. They always claim they are there to be the opposite to AA's, to apply critical thinking, to view Jensen as human instead of a god, to be the ones with "a reality check", but they jump just as quickly as that group and crucify the guy before doing due diligence. Critical thinking should also include getting your facts straight before spreading misinformation (and in this case, more hatred). This is literally the same tool kit lawyers, law enforcement, and investigative journalists use all the time. It's good old common sense.

So block, mute, filter these people. Do whatever you gotta do, but this proves once and for all what we've all been saying. These anti/critical blogs that claim to "apply critical thinking" are full of shit.

Critical thinking is defined as "the objective analysis and evaluation of an issue in order to form a judgment." The reactions were not objective, especially the one blog that had an emotional heartbroken reaction. They were subjective, colored by their own biases. They did not analyze and evaluate the situation fully before issuing a judgement; they were missing a very crucial piece of the puzzle before they started sounding off and they knew it but they didn't care.

So the next time an anti/critical blog says in defense of their hating on/criticizing of Jensen (or anyone really) that they're applying critical thinking and you should try the same when you propose an alternative point of view (about Jensen or not), just remember it's all a smoke screen of bullshit. So again, block, mute, filter, whatever you gotta do. Personally, I think this shit's hilarious and entertaining on a Real-Housewives type level.

And that one blog that had such an emotional reaction to something that Jensen didn't even say in the way they thought he did, it's one thing for you to feel the way that you do, but spreading misinformation as you did, saying Jensen is no true performer, I don't know, maybe it's time to let go of your obsession with loving (aka being in love with) and hating this guy and move on?

[forcebookish]

tell me how, especially after this week, people are still like "get Ray away from those terrible friends who don't care about him and never show him respect" when their precious Ray has been treating Sand like his personal property and said as much this episode. why are they still acting like having different friends would change him and this isn't WHO HE IS, that he isn't just as toxic or more. it's making me hate Ray as a character and FirstKhao's ship (momentarily, since I like them a lot before this and outside of this) 🤮

sorry to vent in your box. it's just really zapping my enjoyment of this show :((( I hope SandRay go down in flames and Ray is so unhappy at this point (except Sand, I hope he finds self respect and is happy)

seriously, anon. more like "get ray away from these friends so he can stop hurting them" lol and the fact that they're including cheum? cheum who spelled it out that ray doesn't give a shit about her? or the project that she and mew have been working their asses off to complete? that they've had to pick up his slack for? fuck off!! if it weren't for her and mew, he literally wouldn't graduate. if it were up to him, the project would have all fallen apart due to his carelessness and addiction.

that's what so fucked up about ray: he can't help but take everyone down with him and he doesn't care until someone calls him out on it - and when they do he either whines or SCREAMS (two very un-endearing qualities oh my god i really don't know how anyone stands him at this point). ray has done nothing but hurt cheum throughout the series despite her loving him and forgiving him when he was an asshole to and about april. he only cares about his own pain. wah wah no one loves me wah wah wah well you're on your fucking way to that being true, asshole. and maybe that's the point. he wants to self-destruct because it's easier to blame everyone else for why he hates himself than to admit that he's the asshole, that he hates himself without anyone's help. because, again, who he is is an asshole and facing that reality means he has to admit that he has a problem and that his actions have consequences that harm others. he's got a bomb strapped to his chest and he either thinks or doesn't care that no one is in the blast radius.

and sand? you're right about wanting him to find self-respect, i can't believe the shit he's willing to put up with. i've said this before, but he told ray,

but sand needs to learn to love himself too. how does he just let ray walk all over him? even in the preview he said he's never yielded to someone so much. like, sand, baby, whether it's love or not, that's a bad thing!!! love isn't always good, not when it hurts you that badly. it's like touching a hot stove over and over again.

i'm sorry it's zapping your enjoyment of the show, anon. i don't mean this in a mean way, but it might help to log off for a little while :( when the fandom gets too much, i've been going on hikes😅 i've been totally failing at doing the yoga i promised myself i would, but i need to get back into it.

anyway, ray can find new friends in rehab 🙄

you are totally welcome to vent, anon. thanks for stopping by 💕

[winderlylandchime]

I am back with reports for 2x01! I really apologize for how insanely long this is but he took me for a ride. We started off strong with him walking in, sitting down with a soda opening it and cheering to the sky and going ‘let’s fucking go!!!!!’ Hits play, sees the opening where Mikey pops up, hits pause, looks at me and goes ‘where the fuck is the boy?! I want the boy! This is bullshit’ when it showed Brian he went ‘ahh there’s one of the boys..oh no he’s not good. This is bad. Where’s the boy? I need him’ Then the Britin in the hospital scene popped up, he literally paused it, hands up in the air screamed ‘THE BOY!!! HE LIVES!! HES ALIVE! OH THANK GOD I WAS SO WORRIED ABOUT YOU YOU BEAUTIFUL FUCKER! HELL YEAH. And brian is there!!! LETS GOOOO! HE VISITS EVERY? EVERY WHAT? TELL ME! Why not? Brian why do you hate me’ Immediate next reaction to Mel,Linds and Deb where they talk shit was ‘man fuck yall, he was just there! I saw him with my own two eyes! I may be a little high but i know what i saw! I only took the light shit so far!’ NOW THE SCARF! THE GASP HE LET OUT! first he did say ‘stop being creepy’ to Mikey. And then THE GASP! ‘HES FUCKIN WEARING IT UNDER?! HES BEING BLOWN IN THE CLUB WHILE THE BLOODY SCARF IS ON HIM? OH HE IS NOT OKAY! HE IS ALSO IN LOVE! OR SOMETHING! I mean i know its love but he’s clearly still in denial’ The Britin reunion? First of he was so sad about Brian being drunk, kept saying why tf doesnt Mikey realize how bad it is? My favorite quote was ‘I know hes not okay and ive known him for 23 episodes, how can YOU not MICHAEL?! Hm?’ And then the reunion? ‘FUCK YEAH AGAIN BABY! I AM WINNING WITH THIS EPISODE!!’ He was so fucking sad during the loft scene. Oh the joy of having my brother scream for the second time ‘HE DID SEE YOU!! EVERY SOMETHING, THE LADY DIDNT FINISH THE SENTENCE! BUT HE SAW YOU EVERY SOMETHING! I SAW HIM MYSELF! WITH MY OWN TWO EYES!!’ ‘He doesn’t remember the prom?! HE DOESNT REMEMBER THE DANCE?! THE JEEP PART?! GONE?! GONE BC OF THAT LIL BITCH WITH A BAT?! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE OKAY IF HE DOESNT REMEMBER BEING KISSED BY A GUY IN HIS SCHOOL WHERE THEY ALL BULLIED HIM FOR IT?! HOW?!’ And then Brian shared his memories and when I tell you my brother paused the ep and walked away. Came back, sat down and went ‘i no longer think i can ‘lets fucking goooooo’ this, this isn’t fun anymore’ Worthy mentions afterwards: ‘no more david??! Yeah! fuck you and your bone cracking business’ ‘oh he’s gonna see him again!! I take it back what i said before: LETS FUCKING GOOOO AGAIN BABAY! I AM HAPPY! THEY ARE BACK!!! *makes claw like hands and shakes them* THEY!’ ‘okay i dont like her but girl, how can you be shocked she doesnt wanna marry you? That was embarrassing for all three of us! Why did you make me witness it?’ ‘Brian showed up in court! See! If he didnt care he wouldn’t show up to stupid court! I should know i tried to get out of jury duty once….i failed tho’ ‘he got his ass glued to the toilet..you know what? Good for Brian, he deserves this’

The end scene was my favorite thing he said, it actually made me giggle bc it was so accurate. So it was them tossing the ball and Jen pulls up and he pauses it and goes ‘oh no, this doesn’t have the right vibesssss. Brian is here. And Justin is here. And they’re being cute. So this means that whatever is about to happen with them is probably going to hurt me. *looks at me in shock* why am i saying probably? Oh God, this is gonna fucking hurt’ Jen delievers her lines and my brother goes ‘EVERY NIGHT! EVERY NIGHT! WHY ARENT WE TELLING JUSTIN THIS?!…JEN! Girl! That was not chill at all! You are ruining my vibes jen. Why would you say that to him while he looks like that?’ And then in a high pitch almost cry sound goes ‘but he caresssssssssss about him Jen! Jenny! Jenny jen! He cares! Cmonnnn I’m sure we can come to an agreement all three of us together! Cmon jenny jen! I know you saw how he had to swallow to say he cares! IT WASNT HIS FAULT IT WAS THAT DUDES! He’s sad and pretty and you’re gonna be mean to him? In front of me? NOT CHILL JEN! NOT CHILL AT ALL! You ruined the vibes, whatever the fuck they were..oh fuck, i need my meds!’ And when Brian drove away, he went ‘SIR! If you don’t make a U-turn right this fucking second! HOW DARE YOU NOT MAKE A U-TURN! YOU careeeeee! I care! He cares! We all careeee, so why do i have to suffer bc of a woman in a blazer’ that was followed by a pause and him getting up, taking a pain killer looking at me and going ‘this is going to be a bumpy fucking ride, now excuse me I have to go outside for no particular reason’ he then went to the front door (he had me worried there ngl bc he is only days after very serious surgery), opened it up and just stared out. Now i do have a neighbor and i heard her say ‘hey __, you okay?’ And he went ‘do I look okay to you? I am having a horrible time’ and then he closed the door, went back inside and called our mom again. Like I said, rollercoaster. Except they give you acid before getting on the ride.

Oh my god. Dear sweet anon, you are doing the lord’s work. Thank you for this detailed report. I think the evidence points to “straight cis men: not so different” because maybe he uses different words “let’s fucking go baby!” but his reaction is all of us. Whether it’s cringefail marriage proposal to hating David to his devastation at Justin not remembering prom to SCREAMING AT JEN to noticing the SWALLOW (and the look up oh god he looks to the sky and it is everything) before Brian says that he cares about Justin to screaming at Brian for sacrificing himself for what he believes is in the best interest of Justin.

His point about Brian showing up to court and trying to get out of jury duty and how this means he cares takes the damn cake.

I love your poor neighbor and what is she to think with “do I look okay to you?” and your mom who is getting these phone calls from her fully adult son beside himself about two fictional characters from 20 years ago.

Brother Anon, welcome to the fandom.