#oh my gosh that would be hysterical

[amynchan]

One time, I was talking with my friend about her upcoming wedding and about all the fun things she and her fiancé had to figure out for said wedding, and she talked about the officiator, and I joked and said "Just let me do it!"

And guys. She didn't realize I was joking, but that's how I ended up getting ordained in 15 minutes and writing and scripting a whole wedding a few months later. The morning of the wedding.

I want to know which character would put themselves in this chaotic position and who the fortunate coupe would be. XD

[monakisu]

I want you to know that I came across a random post of your Death Note art, went "Awww, oh my gosh, with the way this person draws Light I think Akechi would look fantastic in the same style!", clicked onto your profile, and then saw your newest artwork was Akechi. I'm still kind of cackling over it and thought maybe you'd find it funny too. Your art is SO cute, I'm very happy I found it <333

HAHA THAT’S AMAZING (<< was an akechi artist wayyyy before i fell head over heels for light)

but rlly… theyre so similar:

- brunet

- asshole

- pretty boy

- mass murderer

- black-haired homoerotic rival

at the end of the day, the key difference is one is a top and the other is a bottom.

ok but seriously, they’re vastly different characters on a fundamental level:

- light was handed everything him on a silver platter: family, friends, looks, intellect, a comfortable life… as a bastard child of a sex worker and now an orphan, goro had to fight his way to his current position and will always harbor a terrible sense of inferiority (light is completely confident in his absolute superiority, Always (that’s why the challenge of L sent him off the deep end of obsession lol))

- light genuinely sees himself as a hero, while goro would like to feel the same but is nonetheless depressingly aware of his villain’s journey (his undesirable position as the detective vs the underdog phantom thieves, his string of assassinations, his ultimate dirty bloody goal, etc.).

- light’s motive is about the world’s salvation, cleansing, the birth of his ideal reality (very messianic of him with the slightest loving tinge of mary cradling her lamb hahaha) while goro is laser-focused on ruining this one asshole’s life in particular, vengeance and revenge at once! one’s focused on rebirth, and the other gunning straight for death! they both use murder to get what they want but light probably floats around thinking himself so clean and divine as mother of the world (ignorance is bliss) while goro is constantly desperately trying to cover up his suspiciously red hands with his gloves hehehe… they’re both constantly striving for perfection, just with varying levels of self-awareness!!

- goro is a canonical loner; light has a horde of friends; this is probably due to a difference in public persona! goro is an untouchable idea of what he thinks a human should be and is completely out of the loop when it comes to normal social interactions (believes opening with hegel will instantly endear himself to the average person (luckily he inflicted that upon akira who is decidedly not average in the slightest)), light is implied to be more down-to-earth and even slightly goofy (he’s gaming decorum like an advanced speedrunner)! it’s probably good how distant goro is, because getting any closer to him will allow you to see how off-putting and uncanny he is, sorta like an AI-generated image—seams in the wrong places and far too much teeth LOL. meanwhile light has this whole shebang so thoroughly figured out that he’s BORED with it all! he’d like to move on to the next game (with L), thank you!! light definitely still exudes uncanny creepiness (it’s his natural state of being) especially when he zones out or starts hysterically cackling out of nowhere at his own thoughts, but he’s a hundred times better at masking compared to goro due to a better upbringing. goro is starved for the adoring friends he sees akira easily picking up one after another; light couldn’t give less of a shit because he’s always had those trivial luxuries! he’d much rather prefer an adoring WORLD!!

- then there’s the difference in how they die… one started out surrounded with company but ultimately died alone, while it’s the opposite for the other (if you count the de-realization of maruki’s reality as goro’s “death” (which i don’t)).

- in conclusion, light and goro are like funhouse mirror reflections of each other!!! one is a pampered lapdog getting a taste of rabies and letting loose, while the other is a starving wolf trying to domesticate itself for treats and headpats!! and i <3 them both!!!!!

anyways i may be wrong about light because im going purely off of fics, tumblr shitposts, and my own imagination :] feel free to school me in a way that won’t destroy my delusions!

[thus-spoke-lo]

Oh my, can we get a Shanks laughing and giggling while having sex? I feel like he would just wanna make it so fun and enjoyable🥹

Shanks is such a tease and I just know he's got that "here for a good time, not a long time" mentality, so he's gonna make it fun if he has the opportunity.

CW: NSFW/18+; afab!reader; oral sex (f receiving) WC: 591

Shanks’ wide tongue drags up your slick-coated pussy lips, pausing at the top to swirl slow circles around your aching clit, before rapidly darting across it over and over, making you pulse and quiver with every flick of the pointed end of his tongue. He stops abruptly, then raises his head to smirk at you, your essence coating his goatee, making it shimmer in the low light of his room. “Okay, whaddya think that one was?”

“Shanks, I—I can’t even concentrate,” you huff while he slides two fingers inside you and lazily pistons them in and out. “How do you expect me to think right now?”

“Oh come on, just guess,” he teases, turning his head to kiss your shaking thigh, leaving a trail of your own slick across your skin. “What do you think I spelled this time?”

“Oh fuck, I dunno,” you stutter through a breathy moan. Your back arches and you grind your hips into his hand, a familiar warmth building in your core with every stroke of his thick fingers. “Was it my name?”

“Close,” he says through a quiet laugh, moving his head back down between your legs. “It was my name. Do you know why?”

A noise somewhere between a gasp and a guffaw leaves your lungs as he leaves long, slow kisses up and down your drenched cunt, feeling his saliva and your juices drip down your thighs, pooling underneath you. “Lemme guess—because this pussy is yours?”

“You’re damn right it is, baby.”

He continues his slow thrusts with his fingers, plunging them even deeper inside you while his tongue makes sweeping motions over your clit. You can’t help but greedily buck your hips into him, grinding against him until he’s buried in your slippery folds, sucking at you and gently grazing you with his teeth. A smoldering heart builds and builds inside you with every lick, every deep plunge of his wide fingers, and you moan his name again and again as the lewd sounds of your dripping pussy being utterly devoured fill the air.

“Now, what’s this one?” he asks, his voice muffled by the mouthful of your cunt.

“Shanks!” you cry out, gripping the sheets as he crooks his fingers up and presses into that sensitive spot inside you, little jolts of electricity running through every nerve.

He raises his head and clucks his tongue at you, and you don’t even have to look down at him to see the self-satisfied grin that must be spreading across his face. “No, honey, I already did that one.”

It’s all so deeply, awfully absurd, and he’s so fucking smug and annoying, and all you want to do is finish on his tongue after he’s been teasing you and torturing you with agonizing pleasure for what feels like hours on end. But all you can do is laugh—a quiet chuckle at first, then hysterical, wheezing laughter that makes you throw your arm over your eyes, tears rolling down your face as your lungs burn and you fight for air.

Shanks can no longer contain his own amusement, and his deep, hearty laugh echoes in the room. “Gosh, what’s so funny, sweetheart?”

“You’re ridiculous,” you say as you finally catch your breath and wipe the tears from your face.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about!” His boisterous laughter finally begins to fade, and he lowers his head again, resting his chin on your soft mound while he smiles at you, unable to hide the glint of mischief in his eyes. “Take this seriously, would ya?”

[bedoballoons]

Heyo! How are you doing?

If you are okay with it, may I request Tighnari, Scaramouche, and Xiao, with a s/o that tried sneaking up on them to try and scare them? I've always wanted to see if I could sneak up on them lol! Anyways I hope that made sense.

Thank you so much! I hope you have a wonderful rest of your day/night 🫶🏼🫶🏼

Hiya!! I'm doing a bit better now, thank you! <3

Oh my gosh I have always wonderer the exact SAME thing!! I hope you enjoy this, because I loved writing it and I also hope your day/night goes amazing as well!!

─⊰⁠⊹ฺ✿𝔾𝕖𝕟𝕤𝕙𝕚𝕟 ℍ𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕔𝕒𝕟𝕠𝕟𝕤⊰⁠⊹ฺ✿─

{༻~You attempt to sneak up on them~༺}

(Includes: Tighnari, Xiao, and Scaramouche!)

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

𑁍༄Tighnari:

You held your breath, excitement coursing through your veins as you tip toed into Tighnaris room, trying desperately to keep quiet and finally sneak up on him like you've always wanted to. Your eyes flicked up to his spot in front of you, where he sat neatly at his desk, engrossed in a book about plant biology while his tail swayed gently behind him. You watched for a moment, seeing if his ears twitched in your direction or if there was any sign that he had detected your presence, when no signs presented themselves you stepped closer.

Your hands reached out to touch him and for a split second you'd thought you'd won, only centimetres away from him now there was no chance he knew you were there...or so you thought. Just before you could touch his shoulder he turned to you, making you jump back in surprise, a blush coating your cheeks as smirk graced his face, "You know...I find it adorable that you try to sneak up on me...but I should tell you, I can hear you the second you walk up to the door. And I always know if it's you because I know your steps better than anyone else's..."

"You knew the whole time?! Why didnt you say something?!"

"Like I said, I thought it was cute."

𑁍༄Xiao:

You bit your lip, trying your best to keep your laughter down as you peeked at Xiao from around the corner, he was completely focused on the scenery, which could only mean one thing...it was time to sneak up on him. Just the idea made you want to burst into a fit of giggles, but now wasn't the time. You composed yourself the best you could, taking small calculated steps in his direction as your heart rate sped up, would he notice you...would he not? You didn't know and that was part of the excitement.

You reached your hand out to touch his hair, but as you were about to...he suddenly teleported away, leaving you speechless. Usually he let you know if he was going to go somewhere...was it a emergency? You looked around you to see if anything stood out, a fire or perhaps a group of monsters somewhere...but nothing stood out.

"What're you doing?"

You jumped out of your skin, shrieking at the sudden voice behind you and jumping away from him. "Xiao!" You gasped, your face turning bright red when you saw him trying to hide his own laughter.

𑁍༄Scaramouche:

Your whole body felt tingly with excitement, like electricity was shooting through your very being and it was mere seconds away from sending you into a fit of laughter. Why? Because Scaramouche was barely a step away from you, looking up at a painting of the Tsaritsa, deep in though and therefore, the perfect victim for you to sneak up on.

You closed the gap, stepping even closer to him, reaching you shaking hand out...and swiping his hat of his head, laughing hysterically as you bolted away from him. He barely even had the chance to react as you hurried away, his voice filled with annoyance and yet...slight humour as he shouted at you, "Give that back you sneak! I'm warning you!!" Then he gave chase, you could even hear him laughing as you attempted to get away.

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ଘ(੭*ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ♡‧₊˚Hope you're doing well!*⁠.⁠✧

[honest-moth-of-silver-grove]

Hello! I hope you're doing well 🥰

If the requests are open could you do some headcanons for Trevor, Sypha and Alucard with a court jester S/O? (They may be currently courtless). They're fun and snarky and they love their partners laugh however rare it may be - so they make it their mission to get them to crack up as often as possible.

I just think it'd be really cute lmao

Thanks!

 A/N: Oh my gosh! This is such a cute ask! @metkapop Sorry if it’s bad, I just could not focus at all today.

🎭 Castlevania Trio w/ A Court Jester S/O HC: 🎭

Trio: 

If anyone could use some cheering up, it’s these three lol.

After all the three have been through, genuine laughter is hard to come by. 

That’s where our Court Jester S/O comes in. 

They’re smart, and quick-witted, and pretty fast on their feet. They probably come into the trio’s life sometime after S4 ends. Currently courtless, they were traveling in search of a new court when they came across Village Belmont- a small but thriving new settlement, complete with a huge castle right in the middle, so they assumed there must be some sort of royal court inside. 

They’re very impressed by the way things are run/ruled: it’s not exactly a democracy, but it certainly isn’t a monarchy either, which sort of takes the pressure off. It’s easier to be naturally comedic when you don’t have to tailor all of your humor towards one /almighty/ ruler. 

They’re immediately drawn to the trio. I mean, who wouldn't be? Lol. But it’s more than mere fascination, they feel a sort of responsibility to cheer them up. Hearing their stories, hearing of all the trials and trauma they went through, our Court Jester makes up their mind to do everything in their power to make each of the trio laugh. 

Trevor: 

Trevor is the second hardest of the group to make laugh. He’s not against humor, and he has a habit of making witty comments under his breath, but he’s tired as all hell. It’s hard to laugh when you’re just so exhausted. After all, it’s not every day you get in a fight with Death and win. Needless to say, the guy needs some recovery time. 

But he does love a good sarcastic joke, especially if it’s teasing Alucard, or poking light fun at any of the superstitions the villagers have. Knowing so much about the truth of monster hunting it’s easy to sort of scoff/laugh at other people’s ignorance surrounding it. 

For example, one night, there were rumors an untethered group of vampires was heading in the castle’s general direction. Whether they were hellbent on bloodshed or negotiation was another question entirely, one that mattered not to the people. 

Going about his day, Trevor kept smelling garlic everywhere, which was odd, because there wasn’t any garland or garlic visible. After the stench became unbearable (it kept making Sypha’s morning sickness worse), he sought out Greta for answers. 

At the time Greta was conversing with our Court Jester S/O, laughing about something they said. When Trevor interrupted and asked why the hell he kept smelling garlic everywhere, Greta confided that a few of the villagers got in their heads that if they bathed in garlic water, vampires couldn’t touch them… To which our Jester replied, “Oh yeah. Because seasoned food is way less enticing.” 

Trevor let out a chuckle but otherwise held his tongue. It was only when he made it back inside to Sypha that he broke down in a fit of laughter as he relayed the information. The two’s hysterics could be heard outside. It was the perfect combination of sleep deprivation and hilarity that sent Trevor over the edge. 

From that day forward, whenever Trevor was in desperate need of a laugh, Jester would sneak a bulb of garlic into one of his pockets, before hiding and awaiting the snickers that were sure to follow. 

Sypha: 

Sypha laughs the most, although, not as much as she used to before meeting Trevor and going on this journey with him. The last few months they spent together on the road changed the way she looked at people and life. She’s still positive and always wants the best for everyone, but she’s hesitant, and much more guarded now. 

With Trevor back, everything seemed possible again. She didn’t feel as alone and lost. But there’s still a lot she has to carry. Being pregnant, leading a village, watching over Alucard, and helping Trevor heal take up most of her energy, leaving little left for an appreciation of humor. 

That doesn’t deter her Court Jester S/O though, nope! Not at all! They just try harder to see Sypha smile. 

They help her with whatever chores Sypha’s doing at the moment, making pleasant conversation, and trying some banter. When that doesn’t work, Jster opts for a more physical approach. They offer to carry a stack of papers down to the cellar before tripping and falling three-stooges-style down the stairs. The paper goes flying everywhere, like confetti. But before Sypha can even blink, they pop back up, their little bells jingling as they do so: “I’m okay!” Cue paper continuing to fall comedically around them. 

Sypha is stunned with concern for a moment before she starts to giggle. One giggle, then twp, before she’s holding her swollen belly laughing. “That was perfect,” she says. “But for safety purposes, let’s try not to do that again.” 

Jester is careful, but they don’t stop the physical humor completely. They love making moves, even Sypha can’t see coming. For example, when Sypha uses her Speaker magic to conjure floating ice steps, Jester will try to climb up onto it from below, even going as far to get a ladder if they have to, just to slide themselves over the edge and start to do pull-ups on it. Yes, it’s slippery and hazardous, but Jester knows how to fall. They’ve done it so many times, they’re practically an expert by now lol. 

The sheer zaniness of Jester’s actions never fails to bring a knowing smile to Sypha’s face. She just asks that they promise not to act that way when her baby comes around, lest they teach her kid any ideas. 

Alucard: 

Alucard is by far the hardest to make laugh. He’s much more introverted and stoic than the other two. That’s not to say he doesn’t laugh or doesn’t enjoy humor- he does, but it’s much quieter and more subtle than the others. 

Alucard was under a lot of pressure at the end of S4, especially before Trevor seemingly returned from the dead. His stress levels were through the roof, even if he tried hiding it. 

In all the chaos, the one thing Alucard found brought him the most joy was playing with the kids in the village. He liked hearing them laugh as he chased after them from above, or snuck up on them when playing hide and seek. It reminded him so much of how his parents would play with him when he was a little boy growing up in the castle. 

This of course doesn’t go unnoticed by his Jester S/O, who makes a secret pact with the orphaned children to play a funny prank on Alucard when he’s least expecting it. 

The timing just so happened to work out perfectly. It happens just after the first snow of the season. The ground becomes coated in heavy, packing snow- perfect for making snowmen and snowballs. Jester and the children get bundled up and build two modest, unsuspecting forts. Then Jester asks Alucard to come help them referee the children's snowball fight. With a bit of begging, Alucard relents, happy to give Trevor and Sypha some alone time with their new baby. 

Unbeknownst to Alucard however, is that he is the intended target of the snowball fight. And that the two forts are stocked full of pre-made snowballs ready to launch on hidden catapults, perfect for surprisingly even the smartest of dhampir. 

Once Alucard gets into position, and gives the signal for the fight to begin, the kids unleash their snowball fury. They get a good few solid hits in before Alucard’s brain catches up to the fact he’s been bamboozled. He makes a move to super-speed away but not before Jester and a handful of other older kids tackle Alucard to the ground. Yes, they all end up getting pulled with snowball after snowball from their makeshift catapult contraption, but the snow in their hair and all over their clothes is well worth it. 

Alucard, covered in snow and ice, and now freezing children throws his head back and laughs- a deep genuine laugh. 

How surprising human joy is to him, even after all of this time. It’s infectious, and Alucard finds himself grateful to be amongst friends. 

After everyone’s nose starts to freeze, he ushers the children back inside their respective homes, promising to play with everyone again tomorrow. 

Once he and Jester are back inside, he offers to make tea for the two of them. Jester of course accepts graciously, still warming themselves by the fire. Alucard leaves for the kitchen, but not before lobbing one perfectly formed snowball right at Jester’s back. Revenge was a dish best served cold after all. 

I hope you enjoyed it! If you did, don’t forget to Reblog! 

Once again, the cute daisy chain divider is courtesy of @cafekitsune !

[thevestigeofvanillaan]

oh my gosh i luv ur stan hatefucking post 😭😭 i felt butterflies ITS SO GOOD

no bc hear me out i feel like cartman would totally do that... IMAGINE HE WOULD TOTALLY SNEAK IN CAUSE THE READERS PARENT HATE HIM

i love the idea u made and im asking if you could do it but with eric? :D if ya want to of coursee!!

- 🏩 anon :3

hi cutie!! thank you sm im really happy you enjoyed it :] !!!

cartman 10,000% would have to sneak in because he was such an asshole and your parents hate him.

like at midnight, here's eric cartman throwing rocks at your window. you'd open it and he'd accidentally hit you with a rock before laughing hysterically and climbing up.

"you're gonna wake up my dad, he'd kill you if he found you here." you roll your eyes and rub where the rock had hit you.

"your fault you talk so much shit on me to them"

"it's actually your fault you're such an asshole.." you mutter.

"'ey! what'd you say?" eric shouts and you smack his shoulder softly, shushing him loudly. "shut up!" you whisper shout. "why're you here?"

eric laughs, "i wouldn't be here for any reason other than to get my dick wet."

scoffing and rolling your eyes you lay down on your stomach, loudly sighing before he smacks your ass "ow, asshole!" you wince and he laughs.

too lazy and too tired to get up, you lie there and let eric strip you of your clothing. he kisses your back and whispers degrading comments at you.

eric brings his hand to your hips, pulling them up to leave you chest down and ass up in the air where he'd bring his hands to your wet cunt, teasing it before sliding his middle and ring fingers in, scissoring his way inside you. this pulls sweet moans from your mouth.

"shshsh, quiet slut." eric whispers out to you in a soft chuckle. but you couldn't help yourself. "such a loud little bitch, huh? yeah? need me to cover your mouth, huh? yeah?" he taunts in a baby voice with little nods as he slides his fingers out of you.

soon that hand is brought to your face where he pulls your head up by your jaw and eric shoves the two fingers that were just in your cunt into your mouth, soon sliding his cock into you.

the moans you attempted to let out were muffled by eric's fingers as his cock moves in and out of you, accelerating to a faster pace each thrust.

his other hand smacks your ass not too hard so it doesn't wake your parents, if they hadn't already awaken by the loud screeching of the bed.

the both of you were bound to get caught, just bound. and if you were, you feared not only cartman would be dead, but you would be too.

you'd known just how much your parents hated cartman, rightfully so. he was a jerk who'd bullied you your entire life ever since you were five years old.

"you're so stupid!" he'd laugh every time you'd get a question in class wrong. "slut!" he'd yell every time he'd seen you with a boyfriend. no matter what you did, eric was yelling or laughing at you for it.

you told your parents about everything he'd done, they also saw it. they hated him, so much.

it was fairly recently when you'd added a sexual aspect to your hateful relationship. ever since its gotten better with cartman, but not with your parents..

they still hated him, and that likely wouldn't stop.

"fu-ck–!" cartman groans quietly. "gonna cum.. cum with me precious."

when he said that you felt yourself growing closer to the edge. "cum with me, cum with me," he continued to repeat himself over and over again, every time he said it he thrusted harder.

and there that knot came undone and you came, feeling that warm liquid fill you up from cartman.

he'd lay beside you on his back, breathe heavily and softly chuckling. "can i stay the night, it's dark out."

"i guess so." you smile as he wraps his arms around you. "just be gone by morning."

[nottapossum]

you said that Lute loves horror, you think she'd like Tusk?

If you don't know what Tusk is, it's an A24 movie about a guy turning into a walrus, but it's not as funny as it sounds, I can see Emily and Adam both screaming at the reveal of the man- walrus and Lute giggles excitedly clapping her hands as if she's watching a silly cartoon XD

Oh my gosh!!! No!

Yes! She would absolutely love it lol 😆

But ahhh!! That movie is so disturbing!!

⚠️⚠️NOBODY LOOK THAT UP!!⚠️⚠️

It's not good for little eyes...or big eyes. No eyes!!

St Peter, Emily, Lute, and Adam hanging out for movie night.

It's Lute's turn to pick, so she picks Tusk.

Peter is covering Emily's eyes while she's screaming hysterically.

Adam can't look away, but he's absolutely disturbed, he wont be able to sleep.... for months!

Lute is kicking her feet happily, enjoying the film, occasionally pointing out a cool fact or a particularly disturbing moment: "Ooo, this part is good!" 😊

After the movie:

Lute: "So... human centipede next?"

Everyone: "NO!"

Adam: "Lute, what the actual Fuck!?

Do not look up any of these movies!! Lol

[your-mom-friend]

Malevolent Part 41 “The Windmill” can’t think about anything but Arthur’s hysterical laugh over the creature being an owl

Oh my gosh he’s talking all cute to the owl omg Arthur Lester is a Disney Princess confirmed

Oh that last part is fucked up

I would so love it if the click and static at the end was a recorder and it’s just Kayne watching his little shows

[star-1111]

Grey's Valentine Exchange 2023 <3

~~For @indie-has-fallen~~

I hope you enjoy! <3

[dsmpxgn!reader:valentine'sedition/HC's!]

Dream:

He is DETERMINED to make sure you get absolutely everything you've had your eye on recently

Clothes? Got it.

Jewelry? Already done.

Definitely would get you flowers that reminded him of you

CHOCOLATES!! THE ONES THAT COME IN A HEART SHAPE BOX!!

And if you don't like chocolate, he'll get a BUNCH of your favorite other candies!

Would def wait in line for hours just to get something for you!

If you don't want any gifts, he'll take you out to a nice restaurant, or to see a movie, etc..

I think his pet names for you would be "Baby.." "Sweetheart.." "Honey.." "Babe.."

Sapnap:

Oh. My. Gosh

This man.. would be down hysterical. Down bad. SIMPING!! FOR!! YOU!!

ESPECIALLY ON VALENTINES!!

(Doesn't like to admit it though, bc he's trying to look tough for you ;D)

Matching sweaters, cute and yummy breakfasts, and a WHOLE day of fun!

Anything you want to do or try, he would already be in the car

Like "What are you waiting for? Lets go!"

Even if you just wanna stay home and watch a movie or cuddle, he'd be all for it

I think he'd use like really flirtatious pet names ^^

OMG HE WOULD CALL YOU GREEK PET NAMES HE WOULD DEF CALL YOU HIS APHRODITE OR HIS ADONIS 🥰🥰😭

Punz:

Okay, I feel like he'll be the kind of person that would set everything up, then go bring you there when its all ready

Like a cute picnic, or a café date, or something like that!

He would wear something somewhat formal to try and impress you ^^

He would rehearse a big speech for you, something like "dear y/n, i love you so much. From the day i met you.."

I think he'd call you something like "buttercup.." "sweetheart.." "sunshine/moonlight.."

he tries his hardest to make sure he looks good and the day goes well- just for you!

Foolish:

I feel like his love language is gift giving, words of affirmation, all that good stuff :)

He loves giving you petnames/receiving pet names :)

"Pumpkin.." "Sweetheart.." "Baby.." Just to name a few ^^

If you like going to the gym, he would be HEAD. OVER. HEELS!

But if you don't, no worries! He loves you for you!

He would let you steal his sweaters ><

He thinks you're the prettiest person alive <3

His favorite color would be the color of your eyes, or a color that just fits you <3

He likes it when you run your fingers through his hair ^^

he would get you the most cheesiest valentines cards/gifts ><

as long as you know how much he loves you, he is one happy man <3

[raidenssblog]

hi (again) i just read through your fluff February event and I'm amazed.

can I get 18 with obanai and male of gn reader where obanai comes back for a really bad mission and he's really beat so reader cleans and baths him.

he's so underrated it hurts :(((

obanai my baby boy💋😍

Washing off

Pairing: Obanai X gn!reader

Genre: fluff

Warnings: tiny bit of guilt in here and a mention of a kids death.

Summary: obanai comes home pretty messed up so you take responsibility for him,

A/N: oh my golly gosh, I have not posted in what has felt like EONS. Please have my forgiveness🙇🏽‍♀️ I've had no motivation for the past idk months maybe😭 and @tanjiros-whispers has been tring to help me (thank you sm darling😭😭)

!!!Reader can either be read as gender neutral or male!!!

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Sliding the door open, Obanai stepped into his estate. "I'm home!" He called out shrugging his haori and chucked it on the chair near him.

Undoing his bandages, he screws his face up at the amount of marks and dirt on his body. Sighing, he throws his old mask away and puts Kaburamaru on his branch in the living room.

"good boy Kaburamaru, stay here" he praised the snake as it wrapped around the bark.

Your footsteps quickened from the washing line to the house when you heard your husband call out.

Obanai has been away for more than two weeks causing you to stress and miss him. Of course you knew how strong he was but I still pined your heart knowing that at any moment an upper moon could come and kill him.

Quickly opening the door, you speed walk towards the front of the house. Turning on your heels your faced with a very dirty and worn down Iguro.

"oh my god, are you alright!?" Your excitement wearing off and worry coming making its way up your spine.

"oh darling, I'm fine. I missed you" he replied pulling you in for a strong embrace. Obanai slipped his hand on your lower back and shoulder blades before placing his head in the crook of your neck.

You held onto him as a smile broke out onto your lips. Sighing you pull away and place you hands on his cheeks.

"I'll get a bath running, how's that sound love?" You said while tracing his scars. "Sound amazing, this dirt and craps really bugging me"

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Sinking into the warm water, obanai leans back onto your chest as you continue to scrub his skin.

His legs and chest weren't as bad as his arms and face, small cuts and patches of dried blood stained his skins as you try to get it off.

"is this blood yours?" You ask, still focused on cleaning him. "No, I couldn't get there in time. It was a kid, around 3 or 4, his mother was hysterical, hitting and blaming me for his death. I still feel horrible that I cou-" "don't blame yourself Iguro, you did everything in your power to get there, if it was up to you he would still be alive."

Obanai let out a deep sigh and continued to talk relishing in the feeling of his body on yours and how gentle you are at looking after him.

"your right, I just, well I don't know. I just feel guilty that all. I feel like that after anyone dies on my hands" he says. A frown grew on your face while you wrapped your arms around his body pulling him even closer to you.

"well, I know I can't do anything about how you feel about it but if you need to take you know im right here" you say before kissing his head and squeezing him just a little tighter.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Bye idk what this is. But school finally back in yaaaaay😒😒

[tinyinvadr]

Everyone, I have returned from the Void with a new chapter! I really hope I’m able to keep consistently working on this, I feel like I almost never finish a fic anymore!

Hide & Shrink

Chapter 5

We returned to the main stage where the rest of the circus members were waiting for us. They all seemed happy and relieved to see me. I still couldn’t really tell with Zooble, though. They’re hard to read.

“Welcome back, Pomni!” Gangle greeted, a smile plastered on her newly restored comedy mask.

I waved to her, still feeling kind of awkward around everyone. It had only been two days, they were all still strangers. Giant strangers.

“Okay, so Pomni’s back, but we still don’t know where the %$!# Jax went. I don’t like when that creep goes missing.”

“Language, Zooble, language! And… Jax said he won’t be participating today. Neither will Pomni. As for the rest of you, today’s adventure will be…”

With his free hand, Caine snapped his fingers, making bubble letters appear above us as he spoke.

“Wrangle the Wroinks!”

Zooble glared at him. “Didn’t we JUST do that?”

Caine started laughing hysterically. He was so loud I felt the need to cover my ears, even though I’m pretty sure my character model doesn’t have them.

“No, those were the Gloinks that you were gathering last time! The Wroinks are completely different!”

The Wroinks in question suddenly appeared and started bouncing all over the place. They looked exactly like the Gloinks only this time they were wearing hats.

“Right. Of course they are.”

It wasn’t long before a Wroink bounced off of Gangle, knocking her comedy mask off and breaking it.

“Not again…”

Ragatha picked up the pieces for her, looking over at me apologetically.

“We’ll catch up with you later, Pomni. Caine, you remember what we talked about, right?”

Caine gave her a thumbs up. “Sure do! Don’t worry, I’ll make sure our new little friend is safe and at ease!”

After everyone left, he just floated in place, not moving. I sat in his open palm, staring off into space as I waited for whatever was delaying him to pass. This seemed to be a common occurrence. He would just… stop.

“Well then, Pomni, have you decided what you’d like to do today? The possibilities are limitless! *Notethatthepossibilitiesarelimitedtowhatisallowedbyourtermsofservicepleaseaskforadditionaldetails.”

I didn’t have a real plan in mind. If I had the option, I’d just do nothing for the rest of the day, but I had a feeling Caine wouldn’t understand that. Even if he was considering my feelings, it was clear he required some sort of constant entertainment.

“Well… what do you normally do during the adventures?”

He paused, as if he wasn’t sure whether or not to tell me.

“There’s a restaurant Bubble and I go to, but that’s an NPC-only zone! Then again… this is kind of a unique case… Ah, no, no, I’m not picking favorites! Oh… but you’re so gosh-darn adorable! Alright, you make a convincing argument. Let’s go!”

Before I could even attempt to process anything he said, he snapped his fingers and we teleported to a new location.

It was a small, casual restaurant, with wooden mannequins seated at every table. It was strange how it didn’t match the aesthetic of the rest of the circus at all. I guess that’s why it was considered an off-limits area, since it would ruin the immersion. Not that I cared. If anything, I liked that it looked more grounded in reality.

Caine floated over to a table where Bubble was already waiting for us, and sat in the available seat. He then carefully set me down on the table, and leaned on his elbows, resting his lower jaw in his hands.

“Well, this is the place, Pomni! Want anything? Food? A drink? Just an appetizer?”

“Oh, that’s okay, I don’t need any-”

“Nonsense, it’s my treat! Excuse me, waiter? Could you bring out today’s special for the little lady?”

A mannequin in a tuxedo suddenly appeared beside the table with a tray of food and placed it in front of me. Across the table, Bubble eyed the food in anticipation. Caine let out a sigh.

“And a second order for my gluttonous friend?”

The waiter mannequin disappeared and reappeared with more food, putting it down in front of Bubble. He ate the whole thing, plate included, in one bite. Caine stared at him for what felt like a solid minute before clearing his nonexistent throat and addressing me again.

“Now then, I get the sense there’s something on your mind. But rest assured, I am ready and willing to hear you out! So tell me, what seems to be the trouble?”

It should have been obvious what the problem was, but I tried not to let myself get too frustrated with him. There was no point.

“Okay, so… I was talking to Jax earlier, and he thinks I might have a glitch of some sort, which is why you can’t change me back. Do you… know anything about this? Has this happened before?”

“No… but it doesn’t appear to be a major concern! You can still live your digital life to the fullest just like everyone else! I’m sure with a few accommodations here and there we can-”

“CAINE!!!”

We both froze after I suddenly shouted at him. I didn’t know what I was thinking in doing that. He didn’t appear angry, at least. Just confused.

“I-I’m sorry, but… I don’t want this life. I want my old one back. The lack of an exit is already bad enough, but now I’m scared. Being stuck like this, people grabbing me and dropping me and being held against my will… I don’t think I can take much more of it, Caine. I-If this keeps up, I think I might…”

I couldn’t bring myself to say it. Even though I didn’t fully understand what happened to Kaufmo, I knew it was horrible. The idea of losing everything, becoming an out-of-control monster, never being myself again…

Caine sighed, looking down at me sympathetically.

“I hate to see you so down, Pomni. I wish there was more I could do to help, but I just don’t know. Nothing like this has ever happened before. Is there anything you can think of that might make you feel better?”

There were so many things that could have helped me, but they were all outside of what Caine was capable of. He couldn’t make an exit, he couldn’t change my size back, and there was no way he’d be able to protect me from Jax or my own impending abstraction forever. There really wasn’t anything he could do for me.

But Caine is persistent, and I knew he wouldn’t stop until he could find some way to help me.

“Maybe… a new room? Something private, and scaled down so only I can go in there. You know, a place where I can take a break from everything and not have to worry about being abducted in my sleep?”

“An excellent idea! I’ll get right on that as soon as the adventure’s over. Speaking of which, I should check and see how the others are doing.”

He sat in silence for a few seconds, his eyes wide and locked in place. I could only assume that he did this every time he needed to see out of any of the additional eyes he had planted everywhere. Creepy.

“Hmm, it looks like they’re almost finished up with the Wroinks, so we should probably go meet back up with them. Ready to go?”

He offered his hand again, and I climbed on. As strange as it was, I was starting to get used to the feeling of being carried. At the very least, I was comfortable with Caine and Ragatha doing it. It wasn’t something that I necessarily liked, but it was important for me to adjust to it.

“You seem to be a lot calmer. Good for you! I’m sure we’ll get this all sorted out in no time!”

I had to admit his optimism was endearing. I really didn’t feel much better, but maybe if I just played along I could convince myself that everything was fine.

But at the same time, I couldn’t stop thinking about the glitch. If there was a chance that it could somehow get us all out, maybe it was worth looking into. I’d have to figure it out on my own, though. I wasn’t sure how the others would react, and I couldn’t fully trust any of them yet. And there was no way I would let Jax “help”.

The future was so uncertain and it terrified me, but I didn’t need the others to know that. So, I lied through my teeth.

“Yeah. Everything will be fine.”

[blackjack-15]

i have never found fak less charming than i do now. yikes

"do you think donna's gonna do something crazy?" donna being mrs. berzatto's name i'm guessing (mulaney calls her "Auntie Dee")? yeah she is.

nat trying to enlist carmy in getting rid of the alcohol and carmy is like "i have no idea i'm doing six things no one look at me"

the history of nat's nickname is so...mundane? like...we've all mixed up salt/sugar before. not in gravy, mind, but i don't make a lot of italian gravy. traditional gravy (meat drippings + roux)? yeah. not italian.

cousin steve going in on the baseball card racket b/c it sounds hilarious to him is the most relatable thing i've ever seen on tv. like it's not gonna end well but boy is it gonna be worth his money for the entertainment

gosh in every carmy/mikey scene every line of dialogue is a painful reminder of carmy's "i just wanted him to say good job!" from 1X08.

"i don't need you acting all nice if you don't give a f//k" that's carmy, down to his bones. it's why he said nat was being gross when she pulled the Small Innocent Little Girl act on cicero. carmy lies, dodges, represses, stays out of stuff, sure. but when people ask him what he thinks, he tells them. and he doesn't want people to be nice to him if they actually don't care.

carmy wants to be loved so badly, wants to be loved without having to ask for it or claw it out of people. it hurts really, really bad. exquisitely acted.

gift giving! he has a knack for it -- the knife to tina is the most recent example, but very few people to give to right now. the drawing is so lovely, and carmy looks so boyish and happy when mikey says he loves it

oh mikey. he looks so lost and so unhappy and so worried when he's by himself. he's not doing well and he hides it through loud bravado, and especially looks like he hides it from carmy. the beef is a mess right now, and i think he knows he probably won't be around to open that restaurant with carmy. but his note makes even more sense now, as does the money. it really was the gift he felt like he could give. i'm hard on mikey as an older sibling, but he's got his own stuff he's dealing with on top of everything, and it really shows sometimes

this family is so full of desperately sick, unhappy, unhealthy people. and it seems like when they congregate, it just gets worse.

mikey's trying to set carmy up for life, in the role of father figure/older brother -- skills, money, even a romantic partner. but none of it is what carmy actually needs, present day.

"is it possible that you're the asshole" cousin steve can you come back we need your insights. i feel like him, syd, and pete would be Buddies

kind, sensitive, devoted, altruistic, empathetic, and commonly known to be adept at grieving -- characteristics of bears? characteristics of our titular Bear?

mikey sneaking out in full Joseph of Bethlehem regalia, richie noticing

cousin steve do not get eaten by the jaguar

i love when normalish people interact with Berzatto Insanity (like my beloved pete! where is pete? did nat not meet him yet?) and it's like...oh they're in another realm. right.

"no one lifts a finger to help me" as nat is down on her knees cleaning up. yikes.

suicide threats. wonderful. yeah i'm going back to the armchair diagnosis of HPD. my gosh.

RUN COUSIN STEVE that was hysterical

that is a hug that nat very much needed. thank you cousin steve

oh no what's donna gonna do. i know it's not gonna be suicide but it's def gonna be a Spectacle, and prolly traumatic

[cyberphuck]

Assassin’s Apprentice Abridged: Part Two

Read Part One (My friend Razz wants to understand my Farseer Trilogy shitposts but doesn’t want to have to actually read the books, so I decided to summarize them. This turned out to be much harder than I thought it would be! Here’s part two of ASSASSIN’S APPRENTICE: ABRIDGED!) When we last left our hero, Fitz was a little baby following an old man into a hole in the wall.

"Gosh, Chade," Fitz says, after a wholesome montage of him learning how to steal things and poison people, "I love hanging out with you. It sure is neato to have a friend. I get to do all sorts of pranks around the castle, and once in a while the King even calls me to his rooms to remind me I'm a tool of the Crown!"

"You know what would be really funny?" Chade asks, eyes alight with glee.

Jump cut to Fitz's Twilight-esque depressive episode. He lays in bed for days, staring at the wall, refusing to get up. Burrich comes up to his rooms to ask Fitz what the fuck is going on with him and assumes he's dying.

Fitz can't tell him that Chade asked him to steal from the King and he refused, because everything about Chade is a secret. Burrich doesn't know that Chade told Fitz that if he wasn't game to yoink something from Shrewd's chambers, that he could get the fuck out and never come back.

"Watch this, Shrewd! You can actually pinpoint the second when Fitz's heart rips in half!"

(Burrich tries to cure Fitz's ailment by introducing him to alcoholism. He's like ten.)

Sitting in his room alone and drunk, Fitz starts wailing. He cries and cries until Chade finally comes back down through the secret wall-door to hug him. "Me and Shrewd wanted to see if you were really loyal," he says. "So we traumatized you. We really wanted to introduce you to depression, alcohol, and abject betrayal at a young age and this was the quickest way to do it."

"I want my mommy," Fitz sobs.

"There, there," Chade says, drugging him and leaving.

Later, Fitz is summoned to speak to King Shrewd again, who explains that it was all his idea to give Fitz borderline personality disorder and absolutely does not apologize for it. Fitz takes a knife from the breakfast table in Shrewd's room, brings it back to Chade, and stabs it into the mantle above the fireplace.

I like to think that every time Fitz throws himself into needless danger for the next ten books, Chade looks up at that knife and goes "lol. lmao."

--

"Hey Lil Accident," says Head Scribemaster, "you're pretty good at writing. You wanna be my apprentice?"

"Gosh. I'd get to go places and do things," Fitz marvels. "And almost none of them would involve poisoning people!"

Chade Mission-Impossible drops from the ceiling and hangs above Fitz for long enough to tell him that no, he can't be a scribe's apprentice, for one thing he's already learning to be an assassin, and for another Fitz is kind of an important political tool, being a bastard of a Prince, and someone would definitely murder him.

"Sorry," Fitz tells the Scribemaster, "my uncle said no."

"But you can go down into town and buy some stuff for me, since you've been good," Chade says, reeling back up into the rafters.

Fitz jumps to his feet. "Oh, boy, social interaction! I haven't seen my hoodlum friends in a year! And you know who ELSE I haven't seen in a long time? MY MOM!"

He strides happily past a sad woman in the street wearing an anime mom side ponytail, completely ignoring her in favor of his old friend Molly Nosebleed, who goes by Molly Chandler now that her dad has stopped punching her in the face.

"You're the only girl I know, besides that hysterical woman over there screaming that I'm her son," Fitz says. "I think I have a crush on you."

"Neat," Molly giggles.

Lovestruck Fitz gathers his groceries and heads back up the road to the keep. Princes Verity and Regal ride by, carrying a banner that says "CHIVALRY'S DEAD. THE PRINCE, NOT THE CONCEPT. I MEAN THE CONCEPT IS ALSO DEAD, BUT THE MAIN POINT OF THIS MESSAGE IS THAT PRINCE CHIVALRY FARSEER HAS FALLEN FROM HIS HORSE AND"

Burrich shaves his head. And his beard. And his eyebrows. And his dog's hair. And Fitz's hair too, for good measure. Fitz, rubbing his new buzzcut, says "God, if you loved him so much, maybe you should have married him," and Burrich flings himself into the sea.

"We should be careful," Chade says, later. "Because Chivalry was probably murdered. Anyway, you're going on a road trip. tl;dr one of the dukes isn't properly manning the watchtowers that keep vikings from viking the coast, and Prince Verity has to go deal with it, and you're going with him."

"What's a teal deer?" Fitz asks.

Wandering around outside the castle later, Fitz runs into Shrewd's Fool with a capital F, the albino freak-child that cartwheels around in the King's wake all day.

"Oh no," Fitz says. "Are you lost, little freak child?"

"fjdaklfdafds," says the Fool.

"Come on little fella, I'm not gonna hurt you," Fitz smiles.

"FDAJKFDLALSDFAS," the Fool repeats, louder.

"Do you need an adult?"

The Fool steps up to Fitz, grabs him by the shirt, yanks him down to eye level, and says, "Fitz Fixes a Feist's Fits. Fat Suffices, you fucking beautiful dumbass."

Fitz stares at him.

"I thought you were too dumb to know how words worked," he says finally.

The Fool flips him off and cartwheels away.

"...Weird," Fitz mutters. "Whatever, time to go to NEATBAY! I hope I get to kill somebody!" On the way to Neatbay (in a riding party consisting of Prince Verity and like half the staff of Buckkeep), Fitz pals around with stableboy Hands, and meets Mysterious Old Person Lady Thyme, who is a person that sucks in every way possible.

Hands whispers to Fitz that everyone in Buck knows that Lady Thyme sucks and avoids her. Lady Thyme shrieks that you whippersnappers better not be liking yourselves up there!

Fitz and co. finally arrive in Neatbay. It's a walled city like the place in Attack on Titan, with concentric fortifications like an obstacle course that Vikings have never been able to Vike all the way past (this will not be important again until the next book). It's ruled by Lord Kelvar and his trophy wife and if Kelvar doesn't get off his ass and start manning the watchtowers Fitz might have to poison him to death.

They have dinner. Fitz hates rich people. He eyeballs everybody at the table.

That night before bed, Verity calls Fitz into his room. "What's going on with Lord What's His Face?" He asks the boy.

Fitz explains a very complex situation about how Lord Kelvar is clearly trying to impress his Young Hotness Wife with lots of jewels and shit and his Young Hotness Wife is trying to impress everyone else with her jewels and shit and meanwhile all those jewels and shit could be going to pay to man the watchtowers and the roads, and Kelvar has to take some pride in doing it or else he'll become embittered and...

"I'm going to tell Lord Kelvar to stop being a puss and man the watchtowers," Verity says, and turns over to go to sleep.

Fitz facepalms.

Late in the night, Fitz wakes up starving and ninja-sneaks down to the kitchens to grab a midnight snack. While he's there, a woman comes in with a little doggie wrapped in a blanket.

"My poor little doggie is dying," she sobs. "This type of dog is a small hunting dog called a 'feist,' by the way."

"Hack," says the dog.

"I think your dog is choking on something," Fitz observes, whipping out his stethoscope. "Yeah, there's definitely something jammed down there. Let's get it out. Hold your dog steady."

Fitz finds a long hook, slathers it in butter, and wiggles it down the dog's throat while the dog yowls and pees and scratches the Mysterious Blanket Woman. It takes a minute, but eventually he manages to dislodge a chicken bone from doggie's gullet and they all sit back, panting, while LeVar Burton comes onto the screen and lectures the audience about never letting your pets eat poultry or fish bones and the importance of limiting table scraps and keeping them on a healthy diet. Thanks LeVar!

"You saved my doggie's life," Blanket Woman says, and pulls back her blanket to reveal that she is actually Lord Kelvar's Young Hotness Wife! "I shall repay you in any way you wish."

"I'm thirteen," Fitz says.

"Any way you wish," the woman repeats.

Fitz scratches his head. "Oh! Tell your idiot husband to man the fucking watchtowers before you get Vikinged to death. I mean," he amends, "I had a prophetic vision that a strong and graceful trophy wife spread out her arms to protect the laaand wooooo~"

Then he goes back to bed.

...And is woken up YET AGAIN by a servant telling him that Lady Thyme is demanding his presence down in town.

Oh. Joy.

Fitz gets dressed, saddles up Sooty the horse, rides to the inn that Lady Thyme is staying at, knocks on the door. "I heard you're calling for me," he sighs. "Are you dying or something? Please say you're dying."

Chade opens the door. "Fooled you, boy," he cackles. "I am Lady Thyme! And we have to go to Forge right now."

"You made me empty out a pot full of your shit every single morning for five days," Fitz says.

"Get on your horse," Chade orders, and they're off.

"You know, I've never actually seen you outdoors before," Fitz says as they gallop down the coast. "It's-- are you snorting coke right now?"

Chade sneezes, wiping his nose. "Stay in school."

They ride hell-for-leather for Forge, a little town known for two things: iron exports and being raided by Vikings. They manage to get there twelve hours after the nick of time because Chade had to return some VHS tapes, and find little more than a completely burned-down village and some zombies.

"Chade, are those slow zombies like in Dawn of the Dead, or fast zombies like in the 2004 Dawn of the Dead remake?" Fitz asks, watching the zombies shambling around and fighting over pieces of rotten bread and pairs of pants.

"Run," Chade advises, and they do.

On the road out, they pass a bunch of non-zombie survivors moving all their slightly singed possessions to another town. Nobody wants to stay in a town infested with zombies, which the people of the kingdom start calling Forged people, or just Forged, because one of the rules of zombie movies is that none of the characters can say "zombies."

Over the course of the next few months, more and more people are kidnapped by Vikings and Forged, but no one can agree exactly what should be done about it.

And then one night, Fitz is picking his nose alone at a table in the kitchens when another mysterious woman approaches him…

[stackslip]

people went insane about the last two pages which, valid, i cackled out loud myself, but there's so many little details in this chapter that make my head spin, like:

nayuta getting her classmates to give her their desserts. that's so insanely petty i love this child i love that she's still very much the control devil and a little shit

the scale of the mass deaths and disappearances makes so much sense and it's gonna keep getting worse, and it's good to see how it affects everyone in society. so far we've mostly been seeing orphans who've lost their parents but kids themselves are just as likely to die, if not moreso!

asa's recurring dream.......... What Does This Mean

oh i'm losing my mind about this one. "report any persons inciting fear" could mean anything, from reporting wannabe doomsday prophets out of worry they'd increase the fear and thus the power of devils, to grifters, to an excuse to report and jail anybody who says anything about the government as "people inciting fear" lol

also yeah this is affecting the entire world. fun

I FUCKING KNEW HARUKA WAS GONNA BE A FIRE PUNCH SUN STAND-IN I KNEW IT. SUGAR WE ARE GOING DOWN SHIT IS GONNA BE SO AWFUL

watch the chainsaw man society get more and more powerful, watch as pochita's powers decrease, watch as eventually something happens to turn awe and adoration of chainsaw man into utter terror and thus increase his power

there's something really nasty about the talk show host inviting teenage haruka who's seen so many people die and is obviously so dedicated to chainsaw man in part because the world is so fucked up just to poke fun at him, like his classmates weren't murdered a couple of weeks ago.

i really, really like the use of mirrors here. genuinely

also fami's "you don't need to think"........ hmmmm the makima parallels are increasing

a world without evil.......... yeah they're gonna try to use pochita's powers to erase some things huh. we know yoshida talked about erasing death a while back huh

g-d i generally have absolutely no feelings on yoshida whatsoever except that he's fucking hilarious. hysterical even. gosh denji sure is good i plucked you out of class huh!!!!

he is certainly not beating the accusations either lmao

also denji losing his mind at public safety (bc no way this ain't public safety or a government org) putting their hands on nayuta......... emo

you know for all the jokes about yaoi it's definitely kinda chilling that denji would propose sexual favours in exchange for nayuta's safety. like idk if fujimoto is ever gonna explicitly state that denji is a csa survivor but it's hard for me to not think of this as another clue in that direction

only one week wait this time YIPPEE

[kusuguricafe]

Kacchan's Cosplay Panic

Sequel to Happy Year of the Rabbit 🐰

A/N: The long-awaited sequel is finally here!! I hope it was worth the wait! (Here is what I was imagining Bakugou looking like while I was writing this)

Summary: Three bunny boys persuade Kacchan to join in on their fun!

Characters: switches Bakugou, Deku, Kirishima, and Kaminari

“Oi, what’re you guys doing?” Kaminari asked as he walked in on the trio. “Oho, who got Kacchan blushing~?”

“Shut the hell up, dunce fa—” Bakugou started, cutting himself off as he peeked through his fingers to see Kaminari wearing Mirko cosplay as well.

“Oh my gosh, you look so good, Kaminari-kun!!” Deku exclaimed.

“You’ve got some nice legs, dude! Very manly!” Kirishima added in.

“Thanks, guys!” Kaminari beamed.

“I can’t believe you people,” Bakugou said.

“You know who else would rock this fit?” Kaminari smirked.

Kaminari, Kirishima, and Deku all turned to Bakugou.

“Oh no. No no no no. I am not wearing that.

“Aww, Kacchan! C’mon, pleeease?” Deku looked at him with puppy dog eyes.

“You don’t want us to tickle ya again, do you?” Kirishima wiggled his fingers.

“Ack! No!”

“You guys were tickling Kacchan? Without me??” Kaminari pouted.

“Don’t worry, Denks, I think you might have another opportunity,” Kirishima said.

Without warning, Bakugou sprung up and started blasting his way towards the door.

“Oh, no you don’t!” Kaminari shouted. With his lightning quick reflexes, he managed to tackle Bakugou out of the air and back onto the ground. “You’re not going anywhere!”

“Let go of me!!!”

“Guys, quick! Come help me hold him down!!”

Deku and Kirishima shared a quick glance before dashing over and jumping on top of Bakugou as well.

“OI!! You idiots!”

“Now, the choice is yours, Bakugou,” Kaminari started.

“You put on the costume,” Kirishima continued.

“Or we tickle you until you do,” Kaminari finished.

Deku nodded nervously in agreement.

“So, what’s it gonna be?” Kirishima asked.

Bakugou stared at the three of them incredulously. Kaminari and Kirishima were looming over him. Kaminari’s face was upside down, smiling, and Kirishima was looking at him deviously. He could see Deku peeking at him from behind Kirishima. Deku’s eyes were practically sparkling.

“Make me,” Bakugou challenged. He took a deep breath, mentally preparing himself for what was about to come.

“If you say so~” Kaminari replied.

The three boys attacked. Kaminari had Bakugou’s arms trapped under his knees and was scribbling all over the explosion boy’s underarms (he was wearing a tank top, not-so-conveniently for him). Kirishima was kneading the boy’s lower ribs, and Deku was scratching up and down Bakugou’s also not-so-conveniently bare feet.

Bakugou was cracking a smile, but the trio hadn’t gotten him to actually start laughing yet.

“Damn, you’re tough!” Kirishima commented.

“Guess it’s time to bring out the big guns,” Kaminari winked, making his hands into finger guns. Small sparks flew out from the tips of his fingers for emphasis.

Bakugou’s eyes shot open at the sound of Kami’s electricity. “D-dohon’t, don’t you dahAHAHAHAHAHARE!!!!” Bakugou screamed as Kaminari dug his fingers into that sweet spot between his upper ribs and underarms, shooting harmless little shocks.

“DOHOHOHON’T DOHOHOHOHO THAHAHAHAHAHAT!! NOHOHOT FAHAHAHAHAHAIR!!!” Bakugou threw his head back as he laughed hysterically. Deku had to dodge getting kicked in the face.

“Works every time,” Kaminari boasted.

“YOU SUHUHUHUHUCK!”

Kirishima switched his tactic to vibrating his fingers into Bakugou’s toned abdomen. Deku crawled onto his legs (to avoid getting kicked) and squeezed above his knees.

Bakugou started to tear up. He hated how much Kaminari’s tickle shocks got to him.

“OKAY OKAHAHAHAHAHAHAY!! STAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAP!!!”

The three boys all lifted their hands. They let him catch his breath for a minute. Bakugou’s face was bright red. He was still smiling, his eyes tightly screwed shut. His cheeks glistened with tears.

“So…?” Deku said quietly.

Bakugou sighed. “I’ll put on the damn costume.”

“Yatta!!” The three cheered. They scrambled off of him and helped him up.

“...Don’t laugh, got it?” Bakugou said behind the changing room curtain.

“We won’t!”

He slid the curtain open.

“Kacchan sugoi!!”

Kaminari whistled.

Kirishima was awestruck.

“Grrr, don’t gawk at me!” He closed the curtain again.

Kirishima blinked. “Hey, wait! You look great, man!” He stepped forward and slid the curtain back open… revealing Bakugou’s backside. Deku and Kaminari covered their mouths with their hands.

“Holy shi—”

“DON’T LOOK!” Bakugou shouted as he saw Kirishima’s face appear behind him in the mirror. He quickly turned back around. “Out of my way, extras.”

“I still think I wore it best,” Kaminari said.

Deku and Kirishima laughed at that.

“You think this is funny, haah?” Bakugou grabbed both Deku and Kirishima and pulled them close, squeezing their waists.

“EEK! Nahahahaha! K-kacchahahahan!”

“Hahahaha! Hehehey!”

“How do you nerds like it?”

Kaminari sneaked up and zapped Bakugou’s side.

“AHH! You— Oh, you’re gonna get it.” Bakugou let go of Deku and Kirishima and darted after Kaminari.

“Tickle fight!!” Kaminari exclaimed as he ran away.

Kirishima turned to Deku and shot him a toothy gin.

“Kirishima-kun? W-w-wait, wahahahait!!”

Meanwhile, Bakugou had tacked Kaminari to the ground. Kaminari, who was screeching and thrashing about as Bakugou ruthlessly tickled his exposed hips, thighs, and knees. Maybe he shouldn’t have challenged the Great Explosion Murder God Dynamight.

Kirishima had Deku in his grasp and was tickling in between his ribs, causing the smaller to giggle and squirm. He paused to turn towards the commotion. “Don’t kill him, Bakubro!”

“He’s getting what he deserves!”

“HEHEHEHEHEHELP MEHEHEHEHE!!!” Kaminari screamed.

Kirishima ran over and wedged himself in between the two blondes. “Take me instead!” he said dramatically.

Bakugou stared at him. “Your funeral,” he said as he dug into the redhead’s ribcage.

“WAHAHAHAHAHA NOHOHOHOHO! NOHOHOHOT THEHEHEHEHERE!!”

Kaminari crawled out from under Kirishima towards Deku.

“Are you alright, Kaminari?” Deku asked, holding out his hand.

Kaminari gladly took it. “Yeah, I’m alright. Thanks! …You look really good in that, by the way.”

Deku’s eyes widened. He blushed slightly. “Oh! Thank you!” He scratched the back of his head awkwardly and looked to the side. “You look really good too.”

Kaminari seemed delighted.

“WIHIHILL YOU TWO STOHOP FLIRTING AHAHAHAND HEHEHEHEHEHELP MEHEHEHE!?” Kirishima cried out.

Looking mildly embarrassed, Kaminari walked over and tasered Bakugou in the side, causing Bakugou to let up long enough for Kaminari to drag Kirishima away from him.

Deku made eye contact with Bakugou. Big mistake.

Kirishima looked up at Kaminari. Kaminari smiled down at him. Kirishima grabbed Denki’s arms and flung him over his head.

“WhaAA!” Kaminari yelped. He landed with his head in Kirishima’s lap.

Kirishima skittered his fingers over Kaminari’s ears and neck. “I can’t believe you just left me to die like that! After I saved you!?”

“EhehehEHEHE! I’m sahaharryyy!!” Kaminari batted at Kirishima’s hands.

“You’re unbelievable.”

“You thought you could get out of this, nerd?”

“KAHAHAHACCHAHAHAHAN PLEHEHEHEHEHEEEASE!! NOHOHO MOHOHOHORE!” Deku pleaded as Bakugou kneaded his hips. Tears streamed down his face.

“Oh no. I wasn’t done with you earlier.”

“Are you guys done getting rea—” Uraraka started. “Oh! I’m sorry! I-I’ll uh, um…”

Kirishima smiled bashfully. Kaminari blushed. Bakugou was so absorbed in destroying Deku that he didn’t even notice her walk in.

“PLEHEHEHEHEASE!! KAHAHAHACCHAHAHAHAHAN IHIHIHI CAHAHAHAHAHAN’T TAHAHAKE AHAHANYMOHOHOHORE!!!”

“DIE, NERD!!”

Uraraka’s eyes widened. She looked back at Kirishima and Kaminari. “We’re starting soon, okay? See you out there!” She ran back to the set.

Kirishima and Kaminari looked at each other.

“We should probably stop him, right?” Kaminari asked.

Kirishima nodded.

“Alright, alright, that’s enough, Bakubro!” Kirishima said.

“We have to get to the photoshoot!” Kaminari added.

Bakugou paused. Photoshoot? Oh, right. He looked back down at Deku, who was still panting and giggling. He looked like a mess. 

“We’ll have to freshen him up a bit, I think,” Kaminari said.

“One sec,” Kirishima said as he headed towards the bathroom.

Bakugou lifted Deku back up to his feet. Deku began to wipe the tears from his eyes. Kirishima came back with a damp cloth, which he gently wiped Deku’s face with.

“Much better,” Kiri smiled at him.

Deku smiled back. “Thank you. Let’s go!”

[batstorm93672]

Damian sat up from his bed, a good nap did him good a--

"Timothy. What are you doing in my room?"

Tim was watching T.V. and turned around "Hiding out"

"Why?"

"...I thought Jason's helmet was my leftovers from the chicken place and put it in the microwave"

Damian blinked a few times, wondering if what he heard was real or a dream.

"Then the helmet exploded... and so did the microwave"

"I'm going back to sleep. Maybe I'll be lulled to sleep through your screams of agony when Jason finds you"

Before Damian could lie back down, another door opening and closing came. Sitting back up to see Dick looking frantic. "Hey! Timmy, you crashing here?" "Come to join the fun?" "Haha yep" Damian rubbed his eyes, no more sleep it seems "And what did you do Richard?" "...I was swinging on the chandelier in the living room and it crashed..." Tim looked stunned "Bruce might kill you" "I know! That's why I'm hiding"

"Ugh fine, someone pass me my sketchbook and pencils so I can at least keep myself entertained"

Damian sketched many cats, it was fun playing around with their regal elegance on paper-- ...He made a dark line out of where he was drawing from another sound of opening of the door.

Jason walked in and Tim almost leaped up, he managed to compose himself enough "Hey Jaybird! What are you in for?" "I broke a vase" "Which one?" "...yes...one..." "How did you manage that?" "...I thought I saw a rat..." "...and?" "I tried shooting it" Everyone but Jason and Damian (though he was snickering a bit) bust out in laughter. "A RAT!?" "OH MY GOSH THAT'S HYSTERICAL" "I'm disappointed you were planning to shoot such a defenseless rodent whom didn't harm you" "Yeah... I know"

"Now to my real question, why is everyone in my room!"

In unison as if it was a choir.

"It's the last place anyone would look"

Damian groaned and shook his head "Fine, do as you please. Don't come crying back when you all get in trouble"

.

A few moments of a cheesy 80s rom-com and footsteps stormed close. "DICK, TIM, JASON!"

Dick looked at the others in fear "Scatter!"

The three in a blink were gone and Bruce opened the door "Damian. Forgive me for barging in" "Do as you please, I've heard enough amounts of excuses"

Bruce cleared his throat "Dick get out of the dresser. Tim out from under the bed. Jason get back inside and stop hanging from the window" Dick opened the dresser and stepped out, Tim crawled out from the bed and Jason who dangled out from the window climbed back in.

The three got out and looked embarrassed, Bruce crossed his arms "Who did what and what happened?" It became silent and Damian sighed.

"Timothy took Jason's helmet and put it in the microwave thinking it was his meal packaged thus exploding the helmet and the microwave. Richard broke the chandelier climbing on it like a moron. Jason shot numerous vases thinking it was a rodent"

"TIM WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO MY HELMET!?" "ME!? WHAT ABOUT DICK HANGING AROUND FURNITURE EVEN THOUGH THE RULES STATE NOT TO" "YEAH WELL JASON IS AFRAID OF RATS" Tim, Jason, Bruce and Damian looked at Dick. Dick couldn't contain his snickering "I know it doesn't count into this, but that fact is hysterical"

"Okay. So here's what's gonna happen. I'm not going to ground any of you"

The three looked surprised "You see, I'm not going to because soon Alfred will be back from his visit" They gasped in horror and Damian smirked "This seems fun" "Why did you tattle on us Demon!?" "...You all barged into my room, I couldn't go back to sleep and then my art was messed up. If anything it was only a matter of time before father found out" They all murmured in subtle agreement as Bruce grinned devilishly "Yes. Now you three can just wait for Alfred"

"We're gonna die"

"Jason I'm sorry for accidentally blowing up your helmet"

"It's okay Replacment, I forgive you"

"As the first Robin, I commend you all a great job on making it this far past our issues"

"As the second Robin, I share the sentiment. May we all find peace in the fury of Alfred"

"As the third Robin, I'd like to say that it's been an honor with you all. Let us think fondly on our moments together in joy"

Damian shook his head as Bruce sat down beside him "They are not dramatic at all" "I believe we've obtained it from you and Richard" "Hah I suppose you all did. That's a nice drawing" "It was slightly ruined when Jason opened the door, but I think I can make do. I wonder what Pennyworth will do to them all when he arrives" "3...2...1..." Bruce pointed at the door, right on cue.

"MASTER TIMOTHY, MASTER DICK AND MASTER JASON I REQUEST YOUR PRESENCE THIS INSTANT"

Everyone jumped up, the three looking terrified and pale.