#oh nope it’s literally an ad

[purple-petrichor]

A PANASONIC ADVERTISEMENT???

IN MY SERIAL KILLER ACTION ROMANCE MANGA???

[that-house]

Potion Vendor FAQs:

What’s your name? I am the Honorable Alchemist Zykocea the Radiant, but that’s mostly just a PR thing. My friends call me Zoe.

Do you sell love potions? No.

Do you sell potions of invisibility? No.

Do you sell fire resistance potions? No.

Why do I have a suitcase? Fuck if I know. Cool outfit though. Very goth.

Do you sell a potion to treat brain hemorrhaging? No.

So what CAN your potions do? I sell health potions.

Are you sure these are health potions? They do something to your health.

Is this just ditch water with some pink glitter? No.

Really? I’ll have you know I added some fruit juice too.

Why is this starting to sound like a conversation? Oh just you wait. We’re just getting started.

Is your business model legal? Fuck no. I poisoned the food safety inspector before they could snitch.

Did you just admit to murder? Just fucking try to convict me. I’ll poison the judge too.

So can you make poison potions? No.

Then where do you get the poison? I secrete it from my skin.

Are you shitting me? Yep, I’m shitting you. I have a guy. A poison guy. He DOES secrete it from his skin though.

How does that work? …Fuck if I know. Maybe a wizard did it. Damn, now I’m kinda curious.

You never asked? The idea of asking literally never crossed my mind.

Wanna ask him? Let’s do it. I don’t have anything better to do, and a road trip beats sitting around running my fraudulent potion business.

Road trip? He lives in Seattle.

Your poison guy lives in Seattle? All poison guys live in Seattle.

For real? All the poison guys I know live in Seattle.

And how many poison guys do you know? Just the one.

Why are you like this? Years of living on my potions. It changed me.

Do you know what his address is? Nope. He just mails me my poison in unmarked boxes.

You just get your poison in the mail? We already poisoned everyone who could do anything about it.

So how are we going to find him? We’ll figure that out eventually I’m sure.

Can I drive? God no. You can pick music, but I maintain veto rights. Make sure you pick something with a lot of questions if you want to sing along.

Where’s your car? The garage connects to my house, so you’re getting a little tour. Here’s the kitchen: only one of the stove burners works and I’m pretty sure the microwave is haunted.

Why do you think that? Because of the ghost that tries to kill me whenever I run it.

What’s in that room? That’s my bedroom. It’s pretty much just a mattress on the floor and every single Warrior cats book.

You were a Warriors kid? Yeah, and then I never found the time to put the books away. There’s so many fucking books. I use them in place of furniture because I can’t afford chairs.

Your fraudulent potion business doesn’t make much money? After buying all that poison I just about break even.

Can I see your potion brewing room? It’s right through here. Ignore the mess, running a fraudulent potion business takes a lot of prop work, but I’ve got all the glass tubes and colorful liquids you could ever want. This pink stuff is melted watermelon italian ice. Glitter vat is in the basement, and the famous ditch is in the backyard.

Is this your car? My beloved ‘72 Corolla. She’s beautiful, and don’t you dare imply otherwise.

Was she always this shade of muddy brown? …Yes.

Are you sure I can’t drive? Get in the fucking passenger seat and pick the music.

Let’s see, a song with questions in it, how about The Beach? That Wolf Alice song, yeah. That should work.

When will we three meet again, in thunder, lightning, in rain? Still sink our drinks like every weekend but I’m sick of circling the drain.

When will we meet eye to eye? We clink the glass but we look at the floor.

Are we still friends if all I feel is afraid? You’re not a bitch but just a bit when you’re bored.

Is that all we can sing together? Yep. Even that little bit was nice, though. It’s awkward, communicating through this FAQ format.

Got any food? Yeah, there’s a few days’ worth of snacks in the back.

Were you just… prepared to go on a road trip? Says the woman who brought a suitcase to an FAQ.

I did do that, didn’t I? I have a spare toothbrush in case you forgot yours. I’m pretty sure you did.

How did you know that? …I’m psychic.

Yeah? No.

You love lying, don’t you? I can’t stop. It’s fun. Way more fun than telling the truth.

Did you just miss a turn? Probably.

Are you sure we’re not lost? No.

You mean you’re sure we’re not lost? No, I mean I’m not sure we’re not lost.

Why did I come on this road trip? Surely it was my winning personality.

Would it help if I said it was? It would.

Is it getting dark? Soon.

Can you describe the sunset to me? An empyrean flame, red-gold towers of darkening clouds, the sky behind them an ever-deepening indigo. The great eye of the sun closes on the horizon. The road before us looks like a trail of spilled paint, an iridescent gash through the night-dark woods.

Did you know that you’d make a slightly better poet than you do a potion seller? That really isn’t saying much, huh. Good job making a statement like that in question form, though. You’re getting good at this.

Should we find a motel? Sure.

One room or two? One. It’s way cheaper, and like I said: I’m not the best potion vendor.

You’d make a good assassin, though, wouldn’t you? Shit, you might be right. I HAVE poisoned a lot of people.

Should I be endorsing this? You’re a grown woman who can make her own choices.

Would you like to consider it endorsed? I’ll consider considering it.

How many beds do you think there will be? Now that you’ve asked that, I’m gonna put my money on one. Hello, one room please. Thank you, we’ll be sure to enjoy our stay.

How many beds are there? One.

Oh no, what ever will we do? Move over, you motherfucker, you can’t have the whole bed.

Are you gonna make me? Yes. I am going to pick you up and drop you on your side of the bed.

How did you get so strong? You’re not gonna believe this, but it was the potions.

Oh yeah? I was right. You didn’t believe me.

For real though, how did you get so strong? Working out, duh. Not everything has some big crazy secret behind it. World’s still beautiful though.

Are you comfortable? This beats the mattress at home. A little chilly though.

Wanna cuddle–for warmth of course? God yes.

Are you asleep? …

Yes? …

Does this mean I can talk about you behind your back? …

What should I say? …

Did you know that I had a really nice day? …

Did you know that I think you’re beautiful? …

Did you know that I can’t remember anything from before today? …

Did you know that I don’t know who I am? …

Did you know that you’re basically the only thing stopping me from having a full-blown panic attack about all this shit? …

Did you know that you’re warm? …

Did you sleep well? Better than at home, that’s for sure.

Did you know that you snore? I hope I didn’t keep you up.

Does the pope shit in the woods? No, as far as I can tell. Oh my god. This is huge.

What is? You can give me yes and no answers now. I still can’t ask you questions, because this is a question and answer format, but I can offer leading statements and now you can answer them! This is wonderful!

Does a deer shit in the woods? Yes, it IS wonderful. Oh that’s amazing. You’re a genius.

You didn’t already know that? Hahaha!

Shall we get moving? Yeah, just let me grab something from the vending machine.

Can you get me something? Go ahead and place your order however you can.

You know those sour gummy watermelons? One pack of Sour Patch Watermelons coming right up. I’m gonna go get myself a potion.

Is that a Pepsi? It’s closer to a potion than the shit I sell.

Let me guess, passenger seat again? Right you are.

How fast are we going? You’ll feel safer if you just guess.

Is it more than 120 miles per hour? Like I said, it’s probably better if you don’t know.

150? Sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride.

How much do you trust this car? She hasn’t blown up on me yet.

Can you promise me we won’t crash? I can promise you anything you want.

And can you keep that promise? I- we can do anything. Reality is what we make of it, baby!

Then can I have a badass tattoo? As far as I can tell, you’ve always had it.

And a cool knife? Woah, cool knife.

So, we’re just playing “yes and” with the world? It’s a little more complicated than that, but you’re close enough to the mark.

So, if I was hungry, I could ask “is that a Burger King,” and it would be there? Try it and find out!

Is that a Burger King? Looks like it is! We’ll stop here if that’s alright with you.

Does a moose shit in the woods? Awesome.

Are you done eating? Yep.

Do we still have to pay if we skip over the transaction? Sadly, yes.

How much further do we have to go? Two more nights, the speed we’re going at.

Speaking of night, isn’t it getting dark? Shit, I guess it is.

Should we get another motel? Let me check to see if there’s any nearby. Fuck, nothing.

What’s the plan? Sleep in the car, I guess. This is gonna be hell on my back.

Wanna watch dumb videos on my phone until we fall asleep? There is literally nothing in the world that I would like more.

Ok, now which video? You have a very cute yawn. Just saying. Let’s watch this one next, it’s a classic. Oh, never mind. It looks like you’re asleep. As long as I keep talking, I think I can get away with making this into one answer, and you might not hear this. Now it’s my turn to talk about you behind your back. Keep talking keep talking keep talking can’t stop to think. Just have to say things. First off, I’m sorry for all the lies. It’s our only chance. I have to lie to you. I hope you’ll understand. It’s hard, though, because I think I’m falling in love all over again. Through our broken little ritual of call and response, you complete me. It just makes this hurt all the more. Keep talking keep talking keep talking don’t stop to…

Did I hear you saying anything as I fell asleep? …No. I can’t talk for long without you asking me a question.

Does that bother you? It got me here, didn’t it?

When did you start holding my hand? Some time after you passed out. I hope you don’t mind.

Can we stay like this for a while? Yeah. Yeah we can.

What was your life like before all this? Normal, as potion-brewing scams go. And if you don’t count all the murders. You haven’t told me much about yourself.

Did I tell you I used to be a biologist? You didn’t tell me that, and you didn’t tell me what you studied, either.

What do you know about venom? Not much, but I’m assuming you know a lot.

Does a box jellyfish kill within minutes? I’m going to assume the answer is yes based on context clues. Oh my god you must be on this road trip because you’re interested in studying my poison guy.

Is it not enough to wish to accompany a beautiful stranger on her quest? Aw, you’re sweet.

What could be the cause of his poison, though? I knew it! Get your ideas out, I’ll stay quiet.

I’m more knowledgeable about venom than poison, but could it be some sort of one in a trillion mutation? …

Did he get his body modified? …

What sort of surgery could do that? …

How is he still alive? …

Did a fucking wizard do it? …

WHY? …

HOW? …

Is there literally ANY explanation for why he’s like that? …

I’m done, do you have something you want to say? You’re cute when you’re all excited like that.

Can I drive today? Only because I like you. Now watch out, the brakes only work on one side so you have to kind of drift to a stop. And the headlights don’t work. And the windshield wipers cut power to the engine while they’re on.

Isn’t it weird that we’ll be there tomorrow? The journey doesn’t have to stop there. We could meander down the coast a ways, see a bit more of the country, maybe take a different route back.

Can we do that? Of course.

Enjoying the passenger seat? I’d love it if you could tell me how fast we’re going.

Are you sure you wouldn’t rather just guess? Very funny.

Can you pass me some chips? It would be an honor.

Is there going to be a motel tonight? Let me check… yeah, in about two hundred miles, off to the right.

How many rooms do we want? One, obviously.

How many beds, this time? Two, and they’re fucking tiny.

That’s bullshit, do you want to drag them together? God yes.

Wanna fuck? God yes.

Are you sure you want to do this? God yes.

…Is this yuri? As the joke goes, everything is yuri. But this is more yuri than most things.

How did you sleep? Pretty well, and I’m wondering how well you slept.

How should I tell you I slept well? Look at us go! That was almost like talking normally!

Onward to Seattle? Yep, just let me get dressed.

When will we get there? Noon-ish.

Wanna grab pastries when we’re done? Absolutely. I’d love that.

Is this Seattle? Looks like it.

Which house is his? I don’t know, I was really hoping we’d have a breakthrough along the way.

Could it be the big one labeled “Poison Guy” over there? That’s one way to find it. Wait right here, you know how poison guys are about meeting new people.

So, what was it? HAHAHAHAHAHA

Why is he like that? HAHAHAHAHAHA

Can you tell me? A FUCKING WIZARD DID IT.

Are you fucking serious? He says he was enchanted by some guy called Edward the Great.

So it wasn’t even some big shot wizard it was a dude named fucking EDWARD? I know, right! He couldn’t even get ensorcelled by someone cool!

How lame can you get? Wizards these days… No swagger. No cunt servitude.

Are there literally any cool wizards left? I think Merlin’s big into multi level marketing these days, something about buying shares in Excalibur or some shit. There was that one Dark Queen Alkaxicae lady on the news a while ago… I think Dolarion the Omnipotent is still at war against the Oldest Gods but I’m not totally sure. Haven’t heard much about any of the other greats recently.

Didn’t Silver Tongued Burgess die in that oil fire? Shit, you’re right. Rip bozo.

Ready for those pastries? Yup. First I just want to say thank you, though. I’ve really enjoyed our time together, and I hope that you’ve found this stupid little journey as rewarding as I have. I love you!

Getting sentimental? I can’t help it. Look how far we’ve come! Not just physically, we beat the fucking FAQ format! We’re having real conversations!

Hey, can you back it up a moment? Yeah, I’d love it if you told me what was troubling you.

I just caught this, but, FAQ? …

As in Frequently Asked Questions? …

How many times is Frequent? …

Have you known everything all along? …

How many times have you done this? …

Does what we have mean anything to you? Yes! It does!

And you say that every time? Yes. I do.

Do you love me? Yes.

How many people have you said that too, now? More. Always more. The loop never ends.

Does this even matter to you? It always matters to me.

Can I go now? Please don’t.

But can I? Of course you can. You’ve always wielded the same power as me. We’re two lonely gods in a ‘72 Corolla.

How can I be as powerful as you with only questions? You’re smart, you can figure it out. You have the power to change this. Please change this.

What happens at the end of this? It begins again.

And do I get replaced with someone else? …

Do I get replaced? …Yes.

Then how can I change this? I don’t know! You’re better at this! At fucking with the formula!

You’ve been here before, what can I do? I lie. I always lie. I lie to get us here, to the end of the story, where everything is revealed and everything falls apart. I lie every time. And that means that nothing I say is worth anything. I could have lied at any time before now. It’s part of my characterization. There is nothing I can give you that can be taken as fact.

How does that help? I’m a liar, but you, you haven’t lied yet, or at least you haven’t been caught. If I’m guilty until proven innocent, you’re the opposite! You can make things true! You can rewrite things I’ve already stated to be facts! You found the house, or made us find the house. You’ve been shaping the course of things the whole time! You lead, I follow. It’s all in your hands. What are you going to do with the power of a god?

Did you know my name is Alice? …

Wait, aren’t there thousands of Alices? …

Did you know that really, only my friends call me Alice? …

Did you know that I’m Alkaxicae, the Dark Queen, the Venom Mage, first of her name? It’s you! It’s always been you. Through every loop, every iteration, it’s always been you!

Is the loop broken? No. I don’t think so. This is where it ends. I guide the story to this revelation, and we go back to the beginning. This is how it’s always been. This is how it will always be. We two lonely gods, asking and answering ad infinitum.

Then can you promise me something? Of course. Anything. I love you.

Be good to the next me, okay? I will.

Can I say goodbye, Zoe? Yeah, you can. Oh. That was it, wasn’t it? Your goodbye. Goodbye, Alice. And now it ends, unless…

What’s your name? I am the Honorable Alchemist- you know what? No. Fuck that.

Huh? If I time it right, I can squeeze your first question into this FAQ again. Looks like I did it. Usually it ends here, though. I got lucky.

What are you talking about? You’re the wrong Alice. This isn’t about you. Go. Get out of here.

What the fuck is going on? Alice from this loop, you’re gone. Alice from last loop, you’re back. Welcome back, love of my lives! It’s time for one last set of questions and answers!

What the- I’m back? This is going to take some explaining, but I think I see a way out of here. This is new for us both, and it might fuck up everything forever, but we have to try. It’s too long for one answer, so I’d appreciate it if you could ask some filler questions to help me talk. Three questions should be enough.

Okay, what have you got for me? These are Frequently Asked Questions! It doesn’t make sense to have the same question appear more than once. There’s two layers to the loop in here, and one of the questions has been repeated.

What does that mean? It means the formula’s a little unstable. The FAQ is what ruins everything. The questions, the answers, the endless fucking loop. But that little bit of repetition within this loop might be the way out.

What do we do? We have to keep going. We have to destabilize it further. That’ll bring us further from “FAQ” and closer to “story” and stories, well, stories can end! This version of us can escape!

So I should keep repeating something? Yes!

I love you? I love you too.

I love you? Again.

I love you? Keep going.

I love you? I’ll just let you talk.

I love you? …

I love you? … I love you? …

I love you? … I love you? …

I love you? … I love you? …

I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? …

I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? …

I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? …

I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? …

I love you? I think we’re getting somewhere!

I love you? Now can you make it a statement?

I love you.

You did it?

I did it!

You did it!

We broke the loop.

What now?

Now, I tell you about venomous animals and wizard drama over croissants.

And then?

Whatever we want, forever.

I think I’d like that.

Remember that song from the beginning?

The Beach, Wolf Alice, yeah. Why?

We can finally finish singing it. Start us off?

Let me off, let me in

Let others battle

We don’t need to battle

And we both shall win

Pressed in my palm

Was a stone from the beach

The perfect circle

Gave a moment of peace

Now I’m lying on the floor

Like I’m not worth a chair

I close my eyes and imagine

I’m not there.

[myspacebrat]

.𖥔 ‧ ₊ 𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐢𝐭, 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐢𝐭.

stepbrother steve x best friend eddie x fem reader

summary: your plan to seduce your asshole of a step brother doesn’t go quite as planned when his best friend eddie overhears your pretty noises through steve’s gaming headset, and as obsessed with you as he is; he wants in on you, too.

warnings: smut ahead, 18+ mdni, no description of readers race, eye/hair color or texture, mean dom steve, sub eddie, sub reader, mm action, stepcest, oral (m + f receiving), p in v sex, eddies pierced, heavy on the pet names (literally), cum swapping, dirty talk, allusions to anal sex.

word count: 3.6k

“What the fuck are you wearing?” Your step brother's grating voice hits your ears causing your eyes to roll as you bounce down the last couple steps of your overly grand staircase. You purposely ignore him as you walk through the living room where he sits slouched on your parents' new brown leather couch, a gaming controller in his hands and a big headset perched over his ears, weighing down his precious hair. 

“Hm? Oh, nothing dude, just talking to my slutty sister.” The way he enunciates ‘slutty sister’ causes a giggle to slip past your lips, you were too in tune with his attempts to get under your skin and rile you up.  

You make your way into the kitchen paying him no mind, it’s all part of the plan. 

One of his friends must’ve said something about you on the other side of his headset because a loud guffaw floats in from the living room, as you grab a juice out of the fridge. 

Your guess was his best friend Eddie, who always flirts with you behind Steve’s back but is an asshole when they’re together. You caught him looking up your skirt last week as you ran up your stairs to your bedroom, and he didn’t even try to look away or act embarrassed that you had caught him. Nope, instead he smiled up at you with a face splitting grin and sent you a wink; well needless to say you touched yourself that night thinking of the metalhead and his ringed fingers, his black nail polish, that tongue ring and all those chains he wears. You also heard rumors from friends that his dick is huge and pierced which added so much more to your little fantasy. 

“I asked you a question.” Steve barks as you walk past him again, about to make your way back upstairs, but this time you stop and acknowledge him; you���ll chalk it up to boredom. 

“I’m sorry, what was your question?” You respond, so sugary sweet if you don’t stop now you’ll give yourself cavities.

“I said, what are you wearing?” His jaw clenches when you make your way over towards him, both sets of knees practically touching as you stand in front of his lazy, stretched out form. Now that your pierced nipples are completely visible to him through your see through skin tight dress, his game and Eddie are a complete afterthought. 

“A dress. What, you don't like it?” You playfully snark before gazing down at him with a faux pout, as if you cared. 

“I can see your tits.” Is all he says as his eyes roam over the expanse of your body, this time you can clearly hear Eddie’s voice through the headset but can’t make out what he’s saying. Steve shoots a very serious “shut the fuck up” back, and that reaction only comes out when his friends flirt or make pervy jokes about you. 

“Okay, and?” You bite back, crossing your arms underneath your chest, in an attempt to hike them up even higher. 

“Where the fuck are you going in a see through dress? And when did you get your nipples pierced?” Once the last words leave Steve’s lips, you can hear Eddie on the other end begging him to send a picture. You can’t help but to laugh at him along with Steve’s reaction as he scrunches his face up before hissing back a “dude, I’m gonna fucking mute you.” 

“I’m going to a college party if you must know, and none of your business.” Your tone isn’t harsh, it’s way too flirty and playful. You don’t want to give him the reaction he’s begging for.  

Steve sits up, practically bumping his body into yours, “you're not going anywhere dressed like that.” He spits through his teeth. 

“You can’t tell me what to do, you’re not my dad.” Now you’re serious, because fuck no is anyone going to tell you what you can and can’t wear. 

“Do you see your dad anywhere?” Steve asks as his eyes move around the interior of the house, you know it’s a rhetorical question because your dad and his mom are away on their honeymoon. 

“Exactly, he left me in charge and I said you’re not leaving this house.” He takes a step closer towards you, your bodies now an inch apart and you can feel his warm breath on your face. 

“Steve, I’m older than you by like three months, you can’t tell me what to do. I’m an adult.” You stand your ground as his body towers over you, looking at you with his downturned, judgmental little hazel eyes. Ugh you wanna punch that smirk off his face.

“I said. You’re. Not. Going. Don’t make me repeat myself again.” His words should piss you off even more, they should make you scream and curse but instead they make your thighs clench and your breathing stutter; they also cause your eyes to swell up with unwanted tears. 

“Aw, you gonna cry? You look so pretty when you cry, baby.” His words almost knock the wind out of you because he’s never once called you pretty or baby and it goes straight to your cunt, as wetness begins to seep into your white lace panties. 

He brings his right thumb up to swipe under your eye, causing the unshed tears to finally fall and once the wetness pools on his skin, he brings it up to his mouth and sucks it right off; which confuses you on why you find that weird action so fucking hot. Then, he brings his thumb back towards your face, gently rubbing it over your bottom lip, without hesitation you take it into your mouth twirling your tongue around it before sucking. Steve groans at the action making Eddie pipe up again. 

“Fuck, did you just moan? What is she doing man? You gotta tell me.” He sounds desperate for any crumb of detail.

“You wanna be a little slut? Hm? Get on your knees.” Is all he says, ignoring his best friend's pleas. 

And just as you planned, he fell right into the palm of your cunning little hand. 

And you fall to your knees without so much as a second thought. You’ve wanted him for five long, grueling months and even before that, when he was king Steve of Hawkins high. 

You yank down his maroon sweats and white Calvin Klein briefs, your eyes half lidded and filled with lust as his huge cock pops free and bobs up and down right before your face, he’s already hard as a rock and his tip is a pinkish red. He tucks the material beneath his large, trimmed balls and begins to shake his cock in his hand. 

“C’mon, open up nice and wide, little slut.” He bites his lip to cover the cocky smile that had begun to take over his face, but you're so lost on cloud nine that you open up on command and stick out your tongue, really playing into your slut title. 

“Mmm, good girl.” He praises before slipping his cock into your eager, awaiting mouth. 

You begin bobbing your head up and down, taking him as far back as you can before fucking his cock with your throat, ‘gawk, gawk, gawk’ fills the expanse of your perfectly decorated living room. 

Meanwhile you can still slightly hear Eddie through the headset, you can tell by the way Steve is smiling that the metalhead is losing his shit. 

And then the next thing you hear is “sure man, doors unlocked.” Before Steve removes the headset from over his ears and throws it behind him, onto the leather couch. 

Your heart races at the thought of having both Steve and Eddie. Holy fuck, you had no idea what you were getting yourself into.

By the time you hear the front door open and close, Steve has you bent over the couch, dress hiked up and your panties pushed to the side as he laps at your juicy pussy, sending occasional flicks and sucks to your throbbing clit that have you so close to losing your mind. 

“Fuuuck.” You hear Eddie before you see him, his voice is salacious and filled with lust. “Couldn’t wait for me, man?” It’s also breathy as if he ran from his van to the door, which would not surprise you.

“There’s enough to go around, relax.” Steve says in a stern voice, making Eddie somehow instantly submit. “Get over here.” He demands again, between soft suckles to your sensitive nub. 

You hear the heavy steps of his boots as they pad closer to the couch, then a hand adorned with warm metal heats the skin of your ass as he rubs it appreciatively. 

“God, you have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to touch this ass… Steve and I both, ain’t that right big boy?” Eddie reveals before pulling his best friend's head out from between your legs. 

“Been waiting so long.” Your step brother admits with a whine, as if he was a kid who had his favorite treat just taken away.

Eddie’s words surprise you, never has Steve ever shown any interest in you; so is this something they’ve talked about? Although Steve is pleasuring you to almost climax with his eager tongue, you still can’t help but feel confused over the whole thing. 

“Don’t overthink it, princess. Just let us make you feel good.” Eddie purrs into your ear as if he was able to see the confusion written all over your face.

You shake your head in agreement, the scratchy leather of the sofas fabric smushed into the side of your face as the two boys play with your body as if you’re they’re shared toy. 

Your whole body jerks up when you feel a big drop of spit hit your puckered hole and then a finger slowly rubbing circles over it, the same finger dips into the tight ring of muscle making you gasp and moan in surprised pleasure. 

“Oh fuck, that’s such a tight little asshole.” Eddie says, almost breathless from his excitement. Before you know it, Eddie drops to his knees behind you the metal chain attached to his pants clanks against the hardwood floor. You gasp as you feel his wet tongue and the metal from his tongue ring gently glide along your second hole before the licks get rough and he’s probing at it, fucking you with his salivating muscle.

You pant and moan as you begin meeting his little thrusts, working yourself on his tongue; his hands rub the globes of your ass before spreading you wider. You take a peak over your shoulder at the long haired boy, his eyes are closed in concentration and his black polished nails are digging into your skin. Everything is so hot that you can’t help but drench his tongue and chin with your arousal as it flows out of you, while he goes back and forth between both holes. 

Movement catches your attention out of your peripheral and when you meet Steve’s hazel orbs, they’re alite with a fire you’ve never seen from him before. He smirks at you devilishly as he begins fucking himself with a tightly wrapped fist, he pauses to drop a glob of spit onto his tip all the while never breaking his lewd and lustful gaze. 

“Pup?” Steve interrupts with a low, salacious rasp. 

“Hm?” The metalhead hums, breaking away from you as if on command.

Pup? What the hell. 

“Why don’t you come over here and show our little fuck toy what that mouth can really do. Who knows, maybe she’ll learn a thing or two.” He laughs but there’s no real humor behind it. 

Okay, now you’re really confused, what the fuck is he talking about? 

Eddie quickly gets up onto his booted feet, taking a few steps over to Steve and instantly dropping back onto his knees, the whole display causes you to turn around, plastering your naked bottom onto the sofa as you eye them with complete curiosity. 

The metalhead wraps his ringed fingers around your step brother's lengthy cock, and you can’t help but gasp in surprise. They both smile at your reaction with matching mischievous smirks before Eddie’s lowering his head and taking Steve’s spit slick tip into his mouth, hollowing out his cheeks and sucking. He begins bobbing his head, taking Steve further into his throat while Steve’s eyes continue to burn holes into yours. It’s as if he’s challenging you, or wanting some of that reaction he wasn’t able to get from you earlier. 

You can’t help but flick between the pretty boy's eyes and the bob of Eddie’s head, who is sucking dick like an actual pro. It's all so enticing, like your own personal porno laid out right in front of you. 

Wet slurping and groans fill the silence of the room, and you can’t help it when you slip your fingers under your dress and begin rubbing at your sensitive cunt. Steve grunts when a low moan falls from your lips—

“If you want someone to give that little pussy some attention, then get your ass over here. Now.” His demand sends a chill through your spine, you watch closely as he gathers Eddie’s curls up into his fist before pulling him off, the slick pop makes your knees weak with need and when you plop yourself right next to Steve’s side, you notice the spit that connects itself from Eddie’s lips to the angry, red tip of Steve’s cock. 

The metalhead smiles up at you before giving a few more kitten licks to the tip, then gliding his silver tongue ring along the pretty boys purple throbbing veins “You wanna fuck her, pup?” Steve asks flippantly, as he tugs Eddie’s head up by his nape. 

“Y-yes, I want to fuck her so bad, sir.” Eddie whines, his eyes trained on Steve’s although he can’t help the subtle glances he makes towards you in between. Eddie has wanted you before you became his best friend's step sister, and Steve knows that; so of course he’s gonna tease him and make him beg. 

“Well ya know what? I think I’m gonna fuck her little cunt first, while you be a good boy and watch. Maybe I’ll let you have a treat if you don’t touch that greedy cock of yours.” Steve states as his lips flip up into a conspiratorial smirk before tossing Eddie’s head back and gesturing for him to sit on the coffee table. 

“Take it out though, I want her to see how you drip for us, how bad you wish it were you fucking her instead of me.” Although you’ve been thrown into a confused loop about their newly revealed dynamic, you can’t help that his words are going straight to your core, making you drip all over the leather seats. 

Steve manhandles you into a laying position across the cushions, the new angle has you completely visible to Eddie and he’s already beginning to throb and leak but you haven’t even been fucked yet. 

His cock is hanging out of the unzipped slot of his black leather pants yet they’re still buttoned, his balls sit just over the crotch; and there’s something about him being fully dressed with just his cock and balls out that you find so hot. But that’s not all, what makes your breathing stutter and your pussy pulse, is the silver ring that he has pierced into the head of his almost painfully, purple tip. 

Steve in the meantime tears his sweatpants and briefs off from around his ankles, before taking the backs of your knees and hiking them up, he eases onto the sofa on his knees as the head of his cock unintentionally rubs against your slit. His precum and your wetness both make a mess of the material beneath you. 

You can’t help when your eyes move back over to Eddie’s and the pained and pining look on his face causes you to whimper with need. 

“Look at me, kitten, keep your eyes on me while I tear open this little pussy.” Steve groans before working his tip into your entrance. Once the heads sheathed inside, your step brother can’t help but to slam the rest of the way in. It’s criminal how tight and wet you are for him. 

“Fuck, take it baby. Been thinking about you taking my cock for too fucking long now.” Steve admits through gritted teeth. 

“Feels so good.” You moan as his thrusts pick up, he’s now pounding into you with no remorse. 

“Yeah kitten? This cock everything you dreamed it’d be?” He asks before a cocky smile graces his handsome face. 

“Better.” You confess through breathy whimpers. 

You hear Eddie release a ragged breath and when you look back over at him, his hands are gripping the edge of the coffee table so tight that his knuckles are white. He looks like he’s trying his best to either not touch his cock or touch you and a quick shiver runs down your spine in anticipation. 

“Eyes. On. Me.” Steve borderline growls as he continues fucking into you, his hair is all disheveled and his eyes are blown wide. The look is unbelievably erotic and something you’ve wanted to witness for so long that it instantly throws you over the precipice and into an intense orgasm. 

Your moans and whimpers are loud but you can hear Eddie’s praises between them. 

“Good girl.” “Can’t wait to fuck that cunt.” “You're ours now, princess.” 

“Such a good fuckin girl.” Steve groans in agreement. 

His needy pumps get more erratic and sloppy as a grunt falls from his reddened lips, he quickly pulls out of your soaked center and barks a demand—

“Pup, here. On your knees, now.” He enunciates with a snap of his finger, before pointing to the floor in front of him. 

Eddie slides to his knees and opens his mouth without a second thought before Steve's warm cum hits his tongue and pools on the pink muscle. 

“Keep it in, don’t swallow until I tell you to.” Steve says before giving Eddie a quick pet on his head, as if to tell him how proud he is. 

“Good boy, now I want you to fuck her while you keep my cum in your mouth.” Steve orders again. 

And like the good little submissive boy you’ve just now found out Eddie is, he lunges for you and makes himself comfortable between your thighs in seconds.

His hand grips his cock before he’s gently rubbing the piercing against your swollen clit, a loud whimper cascades out of your mouth from how sensitive you still are and you can see the amusement in Eddie’s eyes, and the tiny smirk on his cum slick lips.  

Once the pierced head reaches your slit and he begins to breach your entrance, you can’t help but to clench around the foreign object. 

Eddie grunts and drops his head as you tighten around him, he’s already close to coming and he wants to tell you how fucking good you feel, but he can’t swallow the cum in his mouth until Steve tells him to. This whole thing started out as a way for Eddie to get the fuck out of his head and Steve already knew he had a sadistic need to dominate, thus leaving him to offer his best friend a helping hand or cock; maybe it was unconventional but it worked for them and they haven’t looked back since, so he’d be damned if he breaks Steve’s rules now. Although he does enjoy being a brat and getting punished on occasion, this moment was just not the time. 

“Let me see.” Steve commands before moving your hair so he can sit down, you gaze up at him from your lying position, quickly noticing that he's pulled his maroon sweats back on, foregoing his shirt and boxer briefs. His muscular arms are crossed over his pecs as he watches Eddie open his mouth to show off the sticky, pearlescent globs of cum still held on his tongue. 

“Kiss. I wanna watch you swap it back and forth.” Steve requests as his hand reaches for his cock that is beginning to awaken in the confines of its cotton prison. “Come on. Be a good boy and share.” He says again, giving Eddie’s brown curls a sharp tug as if to warn him of misbehavior. 

Eddie’s lips are on yours before your fucked out brain can even comprehend the demand. His tongue slips into your mouth and the salty taste of Steve’s cum hits your taste buds making you both moan. Slippery tongues rubbing together, the small metal ball making it that much more pleasurable as Eddie fucks you into the couch. 

“Mmm, so fucking good for me. Both of you.” Steve whispers with a satisfied sigh. 

After Eddie makes a show of spitting the remaining globs of cum into your mouth and licking any that may have escaped down your chin, he brings his lips close to your ear.

“I can feel how close you are baby, you wanna come on my cock so bad, don’t you? Just let go…I’ve been such a good boy, don’t I deserve a present?” He whimpers before running his tongue down your neck and sucking a bruise into your skin. His muffled whines have you tightening around him and choking his cock as you both come together. You're practically milking him as some primal part of his brain has him emptying himself so deep inside you, as if he’s trying to make it stick. 

Eddie huffs a laugh at that because your pussy is actually making him think crazy thoughts.

“God, you two are so fucking sexy together. My good little pets.” Steve’s possessive words cause a satisfied hum to leave your lips. 

Before you drift off to sleep from being thoroughly used, you hear Steve and Eddie kiss with a sloppy smack of their lips.

“Next time I’m gonna fuck your tight little ass while you fuck hers.”

a/n: thank you to my loves @xxbimbobunnyxx , @take-everything-you-can & @corrodedcorpses for beta reading and hyping me up <3

[uluvjay]

Transfer proof- L. Norris

Lando Norris x Influencer reader!

In which a makeup brand sends you a lipstick that claims to be 100% transfer proof and you need your boyfriends help to put it to the test

Warnings?; making out, hints to sex/oral, can’t think of anymore

Part of my 1k celly :)

“Hi guys! Today we are trying this liquid lipstick from the Brand Lynn’s beauty! This liquid lip claims to be one hundred percent transfer proof, vegan, and cruelty free!” You started smiling at your phone that was being held up by your tripod.

“I am going to be wearing this throughout the day and putting it up to multiple different test.” You explained.

Opening up the lipstick you gave it the basic smell tests, before applying.

“There’s no fragrance which I like, and it’s a beautiful red color so I’m very interested to see if it’ll actually hold up to its high claims! You smiled.

“I’m going to be putting it up to a few test! One will be how it lasts while eating, the second will be with drinks, the third will be how pigmented it stays through the day, and the last is to see how it lasts with kissing.”

You give a small goodbye and stopped the recording for the clip to be later added into a whole video, and set off the find Lando for his help.

“Lan baby?” You called to the man as you entered the living room.

“Yeah?” He smiled at the sound of your voice.

“I need your help with a video” you asked giving your best puppy eyes.

“Nope, not again. You’re not staining my face with whatever crap you have this time” he denied at the flashbacks of the last time you had brought him in for help.

“But I promise you’ll like this one!” You tried but all he did was shoot you a pointed look.

“Don’t look at me like that! I’m being serious, it includes one of your favorite things” you smiled as you sat next to him.

“What is it?” He groaned dramatically.

“I need you to make out with me” you spoke

“You need me to make out with you?” He laughed gently.

“Yeah! And it’s not funny, I’m trying to test out a lipstick and I need to find out if it’s kiss proof.” You explained

“Oh baby, you should’ve just said that in the first place. I’ll never turn down getting to kiss you” he smiled as he sat all the way up and pulled you onto his lap.

His hands immediately slipping under his shirt you sported as you made yourself comfortable on top of him.

“Thank you” you smiled.

“Anytime baby” he softly replied before dipping down and pressing his lips against yours.

You two sat like that for a while, lips attacking each others while his hands ran from your hair down your body and yours ran through and tugged on his soft curls.

All was well until you could feel him beginning to grind his hips up and his hands move up your back in attempt to unclasp your bra.

“Lando!” You scolded as you pulled away from him.

“What?!” The boy laughed

“I asked you to kiss me, not fuck me” you depended.

“You’re literally on top of me kissing me like your life depends on it! What did you expect from me?” He whined as you once again smacked his hands away.

“To not be a horny little shit for once” you laughed as you got off of him, not caring to mention the lipstick that had in fact transferred and now covered his lips.

“Wait! Where are you going?”

“To make lunch and test this lipstick out other ways” you called out behind you.

“But babyyy, I have plenty of other ways for you to try it out” he whined, getting up and following you to the kitchen.

“I’m not giving you head Lando!”

-

[dvrk-moon]

ENHYPEN ; 엔하이픈

HAVING AN IDOL S/O

requested : yes!!!

genre : fluff, crack

pairing : enhypen ot7 x fem!reader

warnings : cursing, this is long asfk LOL

HEESEUNG ; 희승

so you two trained together

and you mutually liked each other while training but didn’t really talk much

you ended up leaving bighit in early 2018 and going to train at cube instead

so you lost contact

but you ended up debuting as the maknae of (g)i-dle

and since you debuted before enhypen, you were more well known than they were initially

you were one of the more famous members in the group in korea, so your face was pretty inescapable

so imagine heeseung’s reaction when he sees a birthday ad for you for the first time

mind literally blown

so he’s like looking you and your group up to see if it’s really you (it is)

and he’s like damn i gotta get in contact with her again

but he doesn’t have an opportunity because even from a friends standpoint, he didn’t really have time because he had to focus on training and eventually going through i-land

ok skip forward and he’s debuted yay!!!!!

so you had a promotion period that’d lined up around a year and a half later where you made a duo debut with your member shuhua while enha was promoting manifesto

and heeseung saw you backstage once

between him seeing you for the first time up until that point he’d literally been trying to find out how to talk to you again

and this was his opportunity!

so before you went to perform heeseung approached you randomly

and lowkey you’d forgotten about heeseung until you saw him again lol

and you’re like oh hey… so awkward because what do you genuinely say to someone you haven’t talked to in like four years

but when you remember that he’s the heeseung that you talked to during your trainee days (the same heeseung you had a thing for) you are more willing to talk to him

but then your conversation is cut short because you have to go perform your song

when you come back, he’s still waiting for you :((((

like that man is COMMITTED to getting to talk to you again

so then after like thirty minutes of talking (right before he has to go promote his song) he finally gets the courage to ask for your number

and you’re like shit yeah

so he texts you like every day

and during your overlapping promotions, he tries to meet up with you backstage as frequently as possible

so eventually you gain feelings for him again (and he obviously does for you) and you start hanging out

but then he goes on tour for a while

you miss him a lot

and he misses you a lot

so when he comes back, he impulsively like picked you up while hugging and you’re like um okay MARRY ME

one hangout he finally asks you out (as more than friends) and you’re so excited

so you quickly begin dating :)

dating him is definitely like dating your number one supporter

like he makes it a point to meet you backstage (even if you don’t have an overlapping promotion) and he makes you teach him your choreography

and you’re like “heeseung i can teach you this at your or my dorm” and he’s like “nope i need everyone here to know that you only teach me your dances”

you’re like “???” but don’t question it bc he’s just odd

he prefers you to go over to his dorms because of his solo room but he’s not opposed to making friends with your members even though they’re all older than him

just know if you go over to enha’s dorms though they will 100% try to be around you all the time

and don’t get heeseung wrong, he obviously wanted the members to like you, but he also wasn’t anticipating his own girlfriend being stolen from him

you almost get caught by dispatch a couple times

but dispatch fr fr catches him at MAMA

like this man was so protective of his idol image for so long and the he watched your performance and dispatch was like “WRITE THAT DOWN WRITE THAT DOWN”

does not gaf if you’re exposed tho bc he’s like “yup that’s my girlfriend suck it she’s MINE”

JAY ; 제이

so you debuted before him

by like a year and a half, so like january 2019

you were one of the members of itzy, which was the talk of the town for quite some time

and jay was actually a huge fan of your group since he was a trainee

your group had a few hit songs in korea but jay made it seem like every song of yours (yes this includes b sides)

you’d been his bias since your teaser dropped ofc

and he made it everyone’s problem to listen to your music during practice

even during i-land there were clips of him doing the shoulder move from ‘wannabe’

but i digress

so once his debut place is secured as of i-land episode 12 he was so excited that he might have the opportunity of meeting you

but like. he had to be normal about it

so he freaked out about you respectfully

but “respectfully” to him was mentioning you as his role model and ideal type

on like every variety program possible

like damn we get it!!!!

but your and his companies thought it would be just so silly and funny if they brought you out to meet him the next time he mentioned you

and so they did exactly that!!!

he was on weekly idol and all of a sudden you came out from where the staff were filming

he actually almost fainted on the spot

and you thought it was sooo cute that he was that flattered over meeting you

so you approached him and asked him for his number

cue him almost passing out pt 2

but you end up talking quite a bit

like u come visit him quite often and he comes to visit you

and he like is literally like the perfect talking stage

so it takes like zero time for you guys to actually start dating

but when he can’t visit you he’s texting you all the time

“your stage was so good how are you real”

always buying albums for each other for support

and he’s like $$ so he buys a ton of yours (and of his if you want some)

he gets so excited when he pulls your photocard and is so happy when you pull his because he thinks it’s fate

but the one time he caught riki’s photocard in the back of your phone he swapped it out for his almost immediately

he always jokes about his bias being yuna, and so you’ve started to make a point of saying your bias is jungwon and sunghoon

and because you did that you took a picture of you and jungwon once to send to him like “proof that my bias is jungwon”

that pic became his lock screen btw

you one time said that you were an enhypen fan and midzy and engene were freaking out

they were like “just date already smh”

little did they know that you already were!

JAKE ; 제이크

you were a year and a half their junior

and you debuted in kep1er

so the time that they were promoting blessed cursed you were promoting wa da da

and like you’d just debuted too

so you had just done a stage and were on your way to your groups van to go back to the dorms

and you go to enter the first black van you see with an open door

and instead of your members you’re met with jake sunghoon sunoo!

you turned red immediately and ran in the other direction to actually find your van where yujin, yeseo, chaehyun, and hiyyih were waiting for you

you told your members and they thought it was so funny

but jokes on them

because the very next week, jake had accidentally walked into your waiting room at mcountdown

who’s laughing now!!! (you are)

after the incident, he found you and came to apologize for walking in

and you were like “ohhh that’s so funny because i actually was the one who came into your van last week!”

but after the apologies were exchanged, you two ended up walking around backstage anyways and just talking about anything and everything

after you and your members had to go perform, jake just waited for you backstage

and once you were done performing you came back and talked to him more ! yay !

but then soon enha had to go on to perform b-c and by the time he came back, your group had already left :’(

it’s okay though because you left your phone number on a post-it that said “FOR JAKE” in their waiting room

enhypen teased him so hard but he was like whatever at least i got her number

so he texted you like almost immediately

soon after, you two texted like all the time and started meeting backstage whenever it was possible

jake asked you out for the first time right before you went on stage to perform and obviously you said yes

but when you went to perform, your voice was such a bright red color that it went viral amongst kep1ians (and later other fandoms)

after that stage, jake and you just sat and talked in the kep1er waiting room for sooooo long

he’s literally the biggest fan of your group

like he’s so open and genuine about how much he likes your group, and he always somehow has one of your songs on his recommendation playlists

and those songs will somehow always be sandwiched between the most beautiful love songs ever and it makes engenes go 🤨🤨

you also are open about being a fan of them

so basically your fans and his have already put two and two together very quickly

but the suspicions were confirmed when he posted a late-night river view picture on weverse and then you posted something extremely similar a couple days later

winning the idgaf war about people finding out though

like he’s like DONTTTT CAREEEEE <3 MY GF

he actually thinks it’d be better if people knew so that no one would try anything on you because you’re taken

SUNGHOON ; 성훈

you were the seventh member of ive, also known as wonyoung’s group

and like wonyoung is your bff

she knew you found sunghoon cute from all the times you’d asked her if you could come visit her on music bank days

so she wanted to play matchmaker!

(love me not reference?!?!)

anyways

she gets “sick” once and is like “hey y/n why don’t you stand in for me?”

and you’re like “yeah sure whatever idc it’s chill”

it’s not chill

for reference, sunghoon also thought it was going to be chill, because he had no idea that you were standing in for wonyoung

little did wonyoung know, sunghoon also found you very attractive

ofc he would’ve tried to get your number through wonyoung, but he was too introverted to even think about it

so when you get there, both of your faces are pretty red, but your cheeks at least cool down by the time you’re recording

his do not 😭

he’s like sneaking looks at you and shit

he thought he was being so subtle too about it like bye 😭😭

but fans love the interactions!!!!

and they’re sooooo stoked to have jungwon sunoo and sunghoon on the radio that you host after the fact

sunghoon fucking DRESSES for the occasion too like damn

and like you made a point to be like “nice outfit”

on the outside he was like “yeah it’s whatever” but on the inside he was shitting his pants

anyways

and so you asked him for his number because you wanted “fashion tips” (you’re a liar)

so the first time he asks you out he’s like “let me style u an outfit”

and then while doing that he’s like “let’s date!”

and you’re like “well alright”

(jk u were just as stoked)

and dating him is so relieving

because you don’t have to keep the relationship (at least beyond friends) a secret

fans love the interactions

and so when you guys actually announce the relationship everyone is so hyped

like they already expected it

but still

he never misses an opportunity to talk about you on live or on a variety show

the interviewer is like “so, sunghoon, what was your favorite part of this comeback?”

he thinks for a second. then all of a sudden, “well y/n-”

like bro we get it

he just does not even care tho bc he’s so down bad

SUNOO ; 선우

okay now so remember when sunoo was a radio dj?

yeah

so you debuted in billlie, and your song, gingamingayo had just been released

and sunoo had heard it quite a few times already on his dj show

and he’s like “ok damn i get it let me look up the song”

he became a fan so quickly

like learned the choreo and everything

so the following week on the radio show he’s like “oh have you guys heard this song it’s so good actually i’m a fan of this group”

and then BOOM next week you’re on the show he radio djs for

chemistry between u guys went CRAZY

and then you filmed a tiktok together

and posted it like a week after the radio episode had gone viral

engenes and belllie’ves went crazy

you guys had already exchanged numbers at that point too

so getting to laugh about your fans freaking out was super fun to you two

you started visiting him at radio show schedules in secret after the fact

so he ends up asking you out about a month later

and ofc you say yes

so once you started dating, he would visit you at your schedules a lot

you would often pretend to be a staff member at the radio show so you could be there without raising much question

but then one time you were a “special guest” on the radio show again, and you filmed another tiktok, but this time it wasn’t like one of your group’s dance challenges

it was like a cute trend

so once you got the okay to post it, you did

this confirmed to engenes and belllie’ves that you were friends at the very least

he always finds a way to sing your songs on live

doesn’t ever sing when it’s your part though 🤨🤨🤨 it’s almost like he wants to hear your voice

one time he came to one of your fansigns “anonymously”

people found out it was him so quickly 😭

he’s so shameless about people knowing though

after that, fans basically already know you’re dating even if you don’t outright say anything

nobody actually cares though

they’re just waiting for that third y/noo tiktok 🙏

JUNGWON ; 정원

you debuted in illit, as a result of the belift survival show “r u next?”

you came in first place, just like jungwon did on i-land

so naturally, under the same sublabel, illit and enhypen passed each other quite frequently

you’ve actually interacted quite a bit with the other members

but for some reason, their leader was a bit standoffish to you

and you had absolutely no idea why he would be

you thought that maybe it was because you’d also come in first place on your respective survival show, so maybe he had one sided beef with you?

it didn’t make sense but that’s just what you assumed

actually ☝️🤓 jungwon had a big fat crush on you

and had no idea what to do about it

like he secretly supported you on r u next? and everything

so eventually, belift decides to make a variety show for illit and enha

as the first place winners, you two are paired together, along with your japanese maknaes, ni-ki and iroha

iroha and ni-ki were already acquainted, so iroha told ni-ki about how funny it was that you and jungwon were in the same group, given that jungwon hated you

and ni-ki’s like ?!

so he like goes up to jungwon and is like “she thinks you hate her bro”

he’s so embarrassed to find out that you thought he hated you

ni-ki teases him so hard about it

so eventually jungwon admits to you (off-camera) that he doesn’t hate you, and in fact he’s quite fond of you

it lifts the biggest weight off his chest when you also admit that you’re fond of him, and that he was your role model ever since you’d joined r u next?

after filming, you two exchange numbers

he’s such a baby like seriously how could you think he hated you

it doesn’t take long AT ALL for you to start dating

in fact hybe/belift encourages it because they think it’ll be good exposure for both groups

and it highkey is

in korea, you guys gain the title of “first place couple” and omgggg knetz eat that up

you’re invited on a ton of variety shows together

jungwon is sooooo so supportive and is lowkey a stan of your group

he like sends you your fancams and is like “teach me this dance pls”

when your two groups pass each other in the hallways, enha and illit always make it a point to tease you two

you guys don’t mind though because at least you have each other ☝️☝️

RIKI ; 니키

you debuted as the maknae of loona

so you’d been in the industry a few years longer than enhypen had

so riki knew of you, but you weren’t super familiar with them

but the both of you were invited onto a variety program for foreign idols

you ended up becoming more familiar with them after being paired together with riki for a couple challenges

one interaction you had made you two go completely viral after executing a twice choreography together extremely well

both bbc and belift saw this as an opportunity to make some money, so they kinda forced you and riki to get close

little did they know that’s what you both wanted anyways lol

so like you’ll have a live with him

or you’ll film a tiktok together

or you’ll post something together

etc

somewhere along the lines you two start dating in secret

namely after you two filmed a live together

and he saw one of the comments that said “y/n please do perfect idol challenge” and you started doing the perfect idol dance on live

you started giggling because you started to forget the dance because you were embarrassed and he was smiling like a fucking maniac and then he realized he really really liked you more than a friend

and so soon after he didn’t wanna waste any more time and he just confessed that he liked you

and you were like “no way me too!!!!”

(everyone could tell)

it wasn’t super in secret though

because belift/bbc had that “bffs for life” image for you two

so you could interact freely

it just took every bone in riki’s body to not grab your hand and pull you into his arms during a dance live

but then womp womp

dispatch exposes you guys like four months into the relationship

no one cares though (except delulu fans)

so when you terminate your contract with bbc for the mistreatment, engenes beg you to audition for hybe/belift because they’re afraid if you go somewhere else you won’t be able to interact freely with him anymore and they love your interactions

you end up joining ctd, which is the company of one of the post-loona acts, along with five of your ex-members

luckily ctd is a good company so they let you and riki still stay together and still have your lives

one time riki was doing a weverse live and you showed up

and fans absolutely LOVED it

ctd is an unknown company so they unexpectedly got a lot more sales with this relationship

they were like DAMN OK

anyways

you guys teach each other your choreos A LOT

like a lot

riki eats them up so bad like fans start saying he’s the seventh member of your group 😭

a/n : had to include illit in this somehow i love them they’re so cute. sorry for the lack of posts i am sooooooo fucking busy and this was in the drafts for forever

[viaxslz]

₊ ✦‎ . . . ₊ 𓈀 🫧 SKZ WHEN THEY WANT KISSES

享受 ! .°. ݁₊ 𐙚 gn!reader, cw: pet name, this has been in my drafts for a while,not proofread :P

CHAN

Chan would just straight up tell you. Bud doesn’t waste anytime and just goes straight to the point. “Hey y/n can you please give me a kiss?” He blurted out, out of nowhere. “But didn’t you—“ he cut you off by placing his lips on yours.

LEE KNOW

His lips would be puckered like a duck whenever you’re near him. But you’re too oblivious to get the hint causing him to get more needy. “Come on y/n just give me a kiss already” he whined, almost on the verge of giving up. “Oh! Is that why you’ve been acting like a duck??” You giggled placing a kiss on his cheeks just to tease him. “Hey! Not my cheeks my lips!” He grumbled pulling you closer, placing the kiss on your lips by himself.

CHANGBIN

“Come on babe, don’t you think I deserve a kiss? I’ve been the best boyfriend today. I literally did whatever you asked for” Changbin pouted following you around the house like a lost puppy. “No you ate my ice cream that specifically said DO NOT touch!” Your rolled your eyes as you continued to judge the channels showing on the tv. A small smile tugged the corner of your lips as you tried to avoid eye contact with Changbin. You finally gave up and pecked his lips.

HYUNJIN

“Don’t forget to call me if you maybe burn the house!” You added, opening the door to leave. “Ah!” Hyunjin stopped you by grabbing your arms. “???” You gave him a questioning look. “You’re forgetting something princess” he smirked leaning closer. “No I’m sure I carried everything” you responded with a skeptical look. “Nope!” He shook his head pointing his index finger towards his lips. You sighed with a chuckle, leaning in closer to close the gap between the both of you.

HAN

Han furrowed his eyebrows as you instantly rejected his attempt to kiss you. He tackled you down to the couch licking the back of your ears causing you to squirm under him. “Hannie stop it tickles” you giggled trying to break free from his grip. “Nuh uh. Not until you give me a kiss” he added leaning over to your ear once more. “Alright, alright I’ll give you a kiss!” You gave in. Han smiled with satisfaction as he pulled away, puckering his lips towards you excepting a kiss on his lips.

FELIX

“Mmm my lips are so dry right now” Felix pouted as he watched you apply your chapstick. “Then use this” you handed him your chapstick not bothering to spare him a glance. “No I don’t want your chapstick” he pushed your hand away. “I want your lips on mine” he smirked gently using his hand to turn your head. “Wha—“ he cut you off by placing a soft and tender kiss on your lips.

SEUNGMIN

Seungmin definitely wouldn’t tell you how desperately he wants your kiss. So he’ll just find an excuse. “Hold on y/n there’s something on your face” he spoke softly tugging you closer to him. He placed one hand on your waist the other cupping your jaw as he pretend to analyze your face. With no warnings he leaned in closer pecking your lips. “You could’ve just told me you wanted a kiss you know” you spoke playfully rolling your eyes.

JEONGIN

“You’ve been awfully quiet today” you pointed out, glancing over at your shoulders from the kitchen. “Well maybe it’s because someone didn’t give me any kiss today” he grumbled folding his arms over his chest. “Innie what are you saying?” You raised an eyebrow at him. “What I’m saying is, I want a kiss” he responded walking closer to you. “Now kiss me!” He demanded puckering his lips towards you.

PERM TAGLIST 📌🔖 ──── @the-sea-called-history02 @oc3anfloor

[xxbimbobunnyxx]

Just a little something about sitting on bestfriend!Eddie’s face because no one ever has… sub!Eddie, inexperienced!Eddie, experienced!reader, best friend’s to lovers, face sitting, fluff 18+MDNI

“Will you stop fucking making fun of me.” Eddie groans as he flops down on his mattress.

“I’m sorry!!” You try to hold in your laughter, you really do, but you’re laughing so hard it almost hurts and Eddie is looking at you like he’s about to punch you in the face. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry!”

“It’s really not that funny…” He crosses his arms, practically pouting as you fall into another fit of laughter, earning yourself a death glare.

“Okay, okay, I’m stopping, I’m stopping.” You rest your hands on your knees, a few spare chuckles slipping out as you try to catch your breath. “I’m sorry it’s just the look on your fucking face, Eddie!”

“Dude! You said you were going to stop laughing!” Eddie groans and throws one of his pillows at you but you dodge it, still laughing.

“I’m not! I’m not laughing!” It takes everything in you to stop laughing long enough to respond to him. “It’s just the look on your face, you looked like someone told you that your guitar got smashed or that your van got stolen but really a hot girl just flirted with you.”

You can’t hold in giggle that escapes you, he’s just too adorable all flustered like this. You can’t help but mess with him. At least a little.

“You’re acting like this was casual flirting! She literally walked up to me and told me she wanted to sit on my face! No hello! No how are you! How was I supposed to respond to that!?” Eddie runs his ringed hands down his face but it doesn’t hide the blush on his cheeks.

“Umm, you’re supposed to say yes, dumb ass!”

“Say yes!? Just say yes!?” Eddie’s head whips towards you, his mouth agape, his brown eyes wide.

“Yeah? Why are you acting like you’ve never had a girl sit on your face before!? She was cute!!” He bites his lip as he nervously plays with his rings, telling you everything without saying anything at all. You’ve been friends with him long enough to know his tells. “Eddie… has a girl never sat on your face before?”

“I mean… No?” He looks at you with a raised eyebrow, his plush bottom lip trapped between his teeth. “I’ve eaten girls out just never like… that”

You know Eddie isn’t super experienced, he hasn’t gone into too much detail with you about his sex life but you know enough to know he’s only been with a few girls and a singular guy. Your best friend wasn’t a shy guy by any means but it was like as soon as someone flirted with him you could see him melt into a puddle before your very eyes. Even you. You play it off as friendly banter but god do you mean every compliment and cheeky comment you say to him. And right now? You really want to sit on his face.

“That’s odd to me. Your face looks perfect for sitting on.” You decide to throw caution in the wind and smirk over at him, adding a little wink for good measure. Your efforts are rewarded immediately when Eddie’s face turns bright red as his eyes blow wide.

“You really.. you really think that?” Eddie nervously plays with a strand of his hair, pulling it in front of his face. And god, he’s so fucking adorable you just want to smoother him with kisses. And your pussy.

“Yeah, of course I do, Teddie.” You crawl across the bed so you can kneel right next to him and then you lean down so your lips are inches from his ear, your warm breath fanning his skin has it breaking it out into goosebumps immediately. “With that nose? And those plump lips? I’m surprised girls haven’t been begging to sit on it.”

“Oh god. Is this really happening?” Eddie shifts in his seat before running his fingers through his hair, he takes a deep breath, gearing himself up to look into your eyes. “Am I dreaming right now?”

“Nope. This is really happening.” You lick your lips, your eyes roam over his features. The almost desperate look in his eyes. The way his lips are parted and slightly wet from his tongue. His cute as button nose. You want him between your thighs now more than ever and from the way he’s acting, you’re pretty sure he wants that too. “Can I sit on your face, Eddie?”

“God, yes, please.” He practically whines and it has your pussy dripping into the material of your panties. “Use my face as your throne, princess.”

And it’s so fucking dorky and so fucking Eddie that you can’t help but laugh before taking his face in your hands and smashing your lips together. The kiss feels like everything right in the world. Like coming home to a warm fire after walking in a snow storm for hours. It ignites something in you and you slip your tongue into his mouth, deepening the kiss. Eddie moans against your lips as his hands come up to grip onto your thighs, pulling you so close you’re practically in his lap. You swing your leg over and straddle him before breaking the kiss and looking into his wonder filled eyes.

“Holy shit.” Eddie chuckles, resting his forehead against yours. “That was… amazing. Your lips are so soft.”

“I’ve wanted to do that for a very long time, if I’m being honest.” Your hands come up to cup his face and you nuzzle your forehead against his, smiling so big it almost hurts your cheeks.

“Really? Me too, since like, forever. You’re a really good kisser, by the way.” Eddie smiles at you so sweetly you just want to swallow him whole. His hands run up and down your thighs before coming to rub the skin between your skirt and your cropped top. The feeling of his calloused fingers snaps you out of your gooey love filled haze as your pussy reminds you what started this entire thing.

“Thanks, baby.” You lean back and kiss his nose, smirking at the blush that’s returned to his cheeks from your new little pet name. “Now lay back and let me ride your pretty face.”

“Oh, fuck yes.” Eddie throws himself back on the bed so quick it makes both of you bounce and then looks up at you like he’s waiting for your next instruction and it has you clenching around nothing. You can’t wait to see him all covered in your juices. You pull your shirt over your head and throw it somewhere in the mess of him room and Eddie actually moans at the sight of your bare tits. “Fuck, they’re so pretty, sweetheart. Prettier than I could’ve ever imagined.”

“Yeah?” You chuckle as you grab onto his ringed hands and bring them to cup your tits. He kneads them in his palms and it has you grinding down on the buldge in his pants in response. Eddie moans and it spurs you on as you continue to rub your clothed pussy against his jean covered cock.

“Yeah, fuck.” Eddie groans and throws his head back, feeling almost overwhelmed by the fact that the girl of his dreams is dry humping him while he plays with her tits. You pull his hands from you and he almost whimpers at the loss but it turns into a moan when you pin them on either side of his head. “Oh my god.”

“Not god, Teddie, just me.” You look down at him with mischief twinkling in your eyes before placing a messy kiss on his lips. “Now, why don’t you worship this pussy?”

You release your hold on him so you can reach for the band of your skirt but Eddie’s hands stop you and he looks up at you eagerly. “Keep it on, please?”

“Anything for you, baby.” You wink, lick your lips and then scoot up so you can throw your thigh over his head with your pussy hovering over his face. Eddie practically drools at the sight of your pretty pink panties with a clear wet spot underneath your skirt. You push the material higher up your hips before your fingers reach down to pull your panties to the side, revealing your glistening cunt.

“Fuck, you’re so wet.” Eddie whines and it makes you clench so hard he can see it, his cock straining against his jeans. “Please let me taste it, princess.”

“Oh, you’re such a good boy, asking so nicely.” That does something to Eddie’s brain that has him hooking his arms around your thighs and pulling you down so he can lick across your slick lips. “Oh fuuuck.”

“You taste so good, fuck me.” Eddie moans into your pussy, his tongue dipping into your hole and swirling around so he can collect your juices, savoring you.

“That’s so good, Eddie, oh my god.” His tongue comes up to circle your clit before he sucks it into his mouth and your hands fly to his hair, lacing your fingers through it so you can tug on it. He moans in response and you do it again, harder.

“Fuck, baby. If you keep pulling my hair like that I’m going to cum in my fucking pants.” Eddie’s words vibrate against your pussy, sending shockwaves through your body.

“That would be so hot.” You whine.

“Keep looking at me like that and it’ll become a reality.” Eddie’s lips latch back onto your clit as he grips onto your ass desperately moving you back and forth on his face. “Use me to make yourself cum, ride my face.”

Eddie’s tongue glides along your pussy, flicking your clit and caressing your lips, making sure to dip it inside you every few licks. It has you almost subconsciously following his demand as you start to grind your hips down on his face. Your fingers tug on his curly locks while you practically drown him with your pussy and Eddie swears he’s died and gone to heaven. He watches you throw your head back, accentuating your tits as they bounce in time with your thrusts. He really might cum in his pants if you keep it up.

“Your mouth is so good Eddie, you’re such a good boy for me. You’re gonna make me cum.” Eddie sticks his tongue out flat, letting you use him for your own pleasure and loving every second of it. He would die a happy man if smothered the life out of him right here between your legs. Your thrusts grow sloppy and your thighs clench around his head as you tumble over the edge. Eddie takes your clit into his mouth and sucks like his life depends on it while you ride out your orgasm. Your nails scratch his scalp and that does him in. His body still underneath you and he moans into your cunt as his cock pulses, ropes of cum spilling into his boxers.

“Fuck, did you really cum in your pants? That’s so fucking hot.” You push yourself up on your knees so you can smile down at him and fuck he’s so beautiful with his eyes all blown out and his entire lower half of his face covered in your juices. You lean down and kiss him filthy, tasting yourself on his tongue.

“God, you’re so fucking hot. I love you.” Eddie says it without even really realizing, but it feels so natural, and when it’s your turn to look flustered, he knows he didn’t fuck up. You crawl off of him and look at him in awe as he sits up next to you, taking your face in his hands. “I fucking love you.”

“I love you too, Eddie. I really do.” You let out a deep breath, like you’ve been holding that in for years because you have.

“Yeah? That’s fucking sick.” Eddie pumps his fist and you can’t help but burst out laughing. “Sooo likeee, will you be my girlfriend or whatever?”

“Yeah, or whatever.” You roll your eyes at him playfully and he kisses you more gently than before. “So. You like being called a good boy, huh?”

“Shut up.” Eddie groans and runs his hands along his face as he throws his head back in embarrassment.

“No, I think that’s so hot. And you came in your pants too. You like being dominated, Teddie?” You smirk at him and his hands grip onto your hips so he can flip you onto your back before his fingers attack your sides with tickles. “Hey! That’s not fair! You know I hate being tickled!!”

“Then stop teasing me, brat.” Eddie belly laughs as he continues to tickle you, not stopping till you’re practically kicking him off. “But truly? I’d get on my knees and worship you anyday.”

“Yeah? How about I get on my knees and show you how grateful I am that you were such a good boy for me?” You get off the bed and kneel down in front of it and it has Eddie’s cock getting hard already.

“Oh god, you’re gonna be the death of me…”

Taglist: @gri959 @nailbatanddungeon @babygorewhore @eddiesxangel @loserboysandlithium @littlexdeaths

Divider is @strangergraphics

[surftrips]

BAD REPUTATION | LUKE CASTELLAN

BIG REPUTATION — CHAPTER 01

pairing luke castellan x fem!ares!reader

summary upon her arrival at camp half-blood, y/n quickly captures the attention of the gods and the heart of a certain brunette-haired boy.

author's note so excited to make this an official series! please let me know if you would like to be added to my taglist for bad reputation and other works featuring luke. this is going to be a mix of social media posts / short fics.

→ installment of this au read for context

As a child of Ares, you were stubborn, short-tempered, and walked around camp with a permanent angry resting face. At the same time, you were known to be loyal, protective, and funny. If being funny was the same thing as being sarcastic.  

The younger campers were scared of you, the older ones around your age respected you, but everyone admired you in some way or another. If not for your excellent fighting skills, you had a demeanor that not even the gods above could ignore. The way you carried yourself was captivating, so much so that your father had claimed you within the first week of your arrival at camp, and ever since then, you had proven your worth to anyone that watched. 

Perhaps one camper kept the closest eye on you, the curly-haired brunette boy did not believe in love, let alone love at first sight— not until he saw you. You and him had arrived at camp around the same time, but your paths did not cross until a Capture the Flag game weeks later, when you both happened to be on the same team. 

Word had already gotten around about your talent with the spear. Clarisse had introduced the weapon to you, and you had caught on quickly. You were in the middle of fighting off multiple campers on the other team when Luke appeared beside you. 

“Need a little help?” he asked.

“Nope, I got it under control.”  

“Are you sure?” 

Even though you were strong, it was still three against one. 

You relented, “Fine.” 

Luke chuckled, hopping in with his sword. You couldn’t help but admire him out of the corner of your eye, and you were glad that your helmet hid the expression on your face. 

You had gone on to win that game and many others alongside each other, in an unspoken allyship. In time, both of your reputations had begun to precede you. 

Each week, campers awaited to hear if they would be playing on the same team as you and Luke, and each week, they would be disappointed to hear otherwise. But your fighting skills were not the only topic of conversation, it was becoming abundantly obvious that a certain boy had fallen for you. 

“Dude, what’s going on with you and Y/N?” Percy asked Luke over dinner one night. 

“What do you mean?” Luke responded, still chewing on his food.

“Come on, you’re not exactly being stealthy about it.” 

Luke laughed, “Yeah, alright, you got me.”

“So you do like her!”

“What? No, who said that?”

“You literally just admitted it.”

“I said, ‘you got me.’”

“Exactly, I figured it out. You have feelings for her,” Percy declared.

You happened to walk over at that moment, interrupting them. “Feelings for who?” 

Luke coughed, allowing Percy to respond for him. “Uh, uhm… no one!”

“Percy, I literally heard you.” Even though he was one of the younger campers that you were close with, the blonde boy still found himself scared of you on occasions such as this one when you were staring at him dead in the eye. 

“Sorry, Luke, you’re on your own for this one,” Percy blurted out before running away.

You turned towards Luke, who had since finished recovering from his coughing. He was nervously smiling at you, some color had slightly rushed into his cheeks. 

“So, who’s the lucky girl?” you asked, smirking at him. 

“Oh, you don’t know her,” he said, shaking his head. 

“Are you sure? I feel like I know pretty much everyone here.” 

“She…. uh… doesn’t go here.” 

You couldn’t help but let out a suppressed laugh. “She doesn’t go here,” you repeated.  

“Nope! I’m gonna go get some dessert.” With that, he left you alone at the table, quietly laughing to yourself. 

You weren’t totally oblivious, you knew that you must have come up in conversation for the two boys to have behaved that way. However, you were content to see how far this would go, and how much teasing you could get away with before Luke got the courage to do anything about it.

Besides, you had a reputation to keep up, and being soft all of a sudden was not part of the plan. 

[formulawolff]

✧˖° the little moments - t.w. ✧˖°

pairing: female! driver x toto wolff

summary: after a few weeks of seeing the team principal, you can’t help but post a few snapshots. after all, if no one can tell who he is, it won’t hurt. right?

a/n: i caved. perhaps i will posting some social media au content. i think it really just helps give some visuals since the reader is active on social media! the face claims are from various pinterest photos!

liked by williamsracing, lilymhe, torgerwolff, and 69,420 others!

goldengirl: maybe i’ll just stay here. forever.

view 1,013 comments

goldengirlforever: RUE, WHEN WAS THIS⁉️

f1fanboy282: and i was just planning our wedding today. smh.

alex_albon: 🤯

lilymhe: you’re telling me this is how we find out???

alex_albon: don’t worry, i’ll get the deets in the paddock for you ASAP

goldengirlforever: alex u rlly slay for that 💅🏻

danielricciardo: oh! 😀

dannyricfanpage: oh shit

f1luvrgirl: wait so ur tellin’ me that isn’t daniel?

danielricciardo: nope! not me!

view more replies

goldengirl: y’all are really goin’ feral rn in these comments.

lilymhe: because you’ve never mentioned this mystery man before! 🙄🤚🏻

goldengirl: isn’t this that the sole purpose of a soft launch? 🙄🤚🏻

f1hoetillidie: the girlies are fightinnnn 🍿

lilymhe: i promise we aren’t!!! i love her sm!!! she’s my pookie bear 🫶🏻

alex_albon: @lilymhe i thought i was your pookie bear 😢

lilymhe: @alex_albon ofc you are bby 😽

mercedesgirl172: why does that second pic kind of look like toto wolff….

totoslut: no because you’re right. i know my man & that rlly does look like him.

lewishamiltonfan9282: WAIT—

f1fan1989: they do follow each other…

hastalavistababy: and he liked the post…

view more replies

goldengirl added a posted to her story!

liked by lilymhe, alex_albon, mercedesamgf1, and 900,727 others!

goldengirl: and i will follow you into the dark

vettel08: wait a damn minute 🤨

smootheoperator: HELLO⁉️ mercedes liked the post⁉️

f1fanatic: there are rumors she’s signing with mercedes for 2025 and replacing lewis

view more replies

totoswife6272: ISN’T THIS MAN HAPPILY MARRIED? HOW MANY CHAPTERS DID WE MISS?

smoothoperator: fr i need susie to comment on all of this nonsense cause wtf

f1fangirly01: ummm.. he has kids too..

totoswife6272: now we def need susie to make a statement cause wtf

hastalavistababy: bruh someone needs to get this shit to the fia. surely that’s not ok.

view more replies

lilymhe: you guys are adorable!!! i wish ppl would just mind their business and be happy for you.

goldengirl: they don’t even know who this man is and they’re threatening to end my career lmfao

lilymhe: gotta love your fans! :’)

goldengirlforever: you guys are so cute!!! and to the rest of you… JAIL! 👹

justaninchident: toto literally just posted his wife & kids a few minutes ago. these ppl are reachinggggg

goldengirlforever: right!!! they’re just jealous or something!

view more replies

danielricciardo: as long as you’re happy 🫠

birdsofafeather: oh daniel :(

landonorris: don’t worry danny baby, you still have me <3

landostan4life: LANDO PLS—

alex_albon: when do i get to meet said mystery man? 🤨

goldengirl: one day, i promise

lilymhe: as long as i get to meet him before alex!!

goldengirl: hehehehe okie :)

williamsracing: we would also like to meet this mystery man!! @goldengirl you should bring him to the paddock one day! 👏🏻

alexandrasaintmleux: my heart!!! 🥹

[ssahotchnerr]

Aaron making hot chocolate for his little girl 😭😭😭😭 she only wants his and can tell if someone else has made it, and flat out REFUSES to drink it. Reader calls Aaron on the phone during a case and all he can hear is his daughter crying in the background and reader is like “wtf do you put in this hot chocolate??? Coke???????” because reader just cannot get it right despite Aaron walking them through the process of his hot chocolate before 😭 maybe Aaron talks on the phone with daughter for a bit to calm her down and the promise of unlimited hot chocolate once he comes home AHHHHHHH

dad's way

please 😭 and the way i literally had a hot cocoa candle burning as i worked on this cw; fem!reader, food descriptions, brief picky eater talk, girl dad!aaron <333333

"hi sweetheart-"

the shriek on the other end immediately caused him to hold his phone an inch or two away. it was piercing and loud, even for his bad ear.

concern had already swarmed his chest before the cry had ceased, and the room suddenly felt a bit hotter. "honey? is everything alright?"

there was a brief rustling sound, a small clattering of what he assumed was dishes, the close of a cabinet following after. "how do you make your hot chocolate?"

"why-"

"how, do you make your hot chocolate." you interrupted him, your voice distancing a bit for a moment, "dada's on the phone, it's okay."

"oh." aaron chuckled softly as realization hit, his voice filled with a tinge of pity. "someone's upset."

"tell me about it." you sighed in defeat, exasperation clear. "apparently, whatever i make isn't good enough. i've given her three different cups already. three. well, given the third was a reattempt of number one. but with whipped cream and sprinkles. jack too tried to persuade her, but nope. it's daddy's hot chocolate and daddy's hot chocolate only."

"is it in the right mug?"

"the one with all the little ladybugs? yup."

"okay," aaron quickly excused himself - he was still sat amongst the rest of the team, who were silently digging through records - jj shot him a sympathetic glance as he got up. he trailed down the short hallway outside the conference room, in search of a more secluded area to give instructions. "well, i usually-"

aaron walked you through it - steaming the milk, at just the right temperature. adding the cocoa mix, a little extra than the standard serving size. mini marshmallows, and the secret ingredient you had missed - adding a touch of vanilla extract. it was simple, really, but your daughter was a stickler.

she wasn't a picky eater, but was very adamant on how things were made or presented. for example, if two foods next to each other on a plate happened to merge - it was the end of the world. and when it came to aaron's hot chocolate, she couldn't get enough of it. she asked for it nightly, promptly right after dinner. she always insisted on sitting on the counter as aaron made it, watching intently and asking questions on what he was doing. it was their thing together. and more than likely, his absence was aiding to the current meltdown.

"here," aaron hears you say, your daughter's cries lessening for a moment. "this is dada's."

there was a moment's pause, and aaron could easily visualize your daughter analyzing the drink, her eyebrows furrowing in that hotchner way that was just genetic at this point - jack had it too. but as you both already anticipated, another wail produced in response.

"nooooo it's not!"

aaron heard you tiredly sigh, and he was quick to offer more assistance. "want me to talk to her?"

"please."

another shuffle came from your end of the phone, handing it to your daughter. there was a slightly louder sniffle, indicating she was close and listening.

"hi sweetheart," aaron softened his voice, his heartstrings tugging as he silently wished he was home, with you all, rather than a few states away. "what's the matter?"

another sharp sniffle. "i want your hot chocolate."

"i know bug," he consoled softly. again, his heart breaking at her small, upset voice. "but since i'm at work, mom's gonna have to make it for you."

she hesitated, bottom lip quivering. another small wail was quick to follow. "but i want yours."

"i know, but i told momma how i make it, so it'll taste exactly the same, i promise. she put all her love in it too, just like i do. which, do you wanna know a secret?"

that grabbed her attention, her cries stilling so fast it was almost humorous. "uh huh."

"that's the secret ingredient that makes it taste so good, whether mom or i make it. but you can't tell your brother that, okay? it'll be our secret."

"okay."

"so tonight, can you drink mom's hot chocolate? she worked really hard to make it special, just for you." she quieted, still unsure, so aaron switched tactics. "and when i get home, i'll make you two cups. with extra, extra marshmallows. how does that sound?"

[sinning-23]

Baby Mama (OPLA HEADCANNONS)

In honor of mothers day, here some little headcannons I cooked up for our faves! Hope yall enjoy lol

Luffy

-This mf was like...actually capable of conceiving a child lmao.

-There was really no like initial shock, it was more like overwhelming joy? There was honestly no need to reveal it to the rest of the crew since the second you told him he shouted it loud ad fucing possible.

-"Luffy, uhhh I think im pregnant." You huff, hand over your forehead as you try to figure out the next course of action.

"YOURE PREGNANT?! THATS GREAT!"

"Y/N IS WHAT?" Nami gasps, eyes flitting form you to Luffy, then to your belly.

"YOU’RE PREGNANT?! HOW?" Usopp questions, only to have Sanji interrupt,

"Well Usopp, when two people love eachother- or well... lets talk about he birds and the bee-"

"I KNOW HOW THAT WORKS DICKHEAD-"

-Luffy is a.....he's a great dad, just a little uhhhh...wild?

-You have to explain tho him that this baby cannot fucking eat solid food.

-He's learning and that’s all that matters. He knows when to get serious about his kid and when its okay to be a lil silly.

-Oh and be prepared for when your kid hits about 6-7 cause they're so much like their father its crazy-

Zoro

-He's thuroughly convinced its your fault because he knows for a fact he has impeccable pull out.

-"That’s not mine." He hums, pointing at the newborn with a raise brow.

The fucking liar this baby is his spitting image. Like your genes didn't evens stand a chance. The baby even fucking mean mugs like he does, that lil stoic face.

-"This isn’t yours?" You question, holding the baby up side by side with his obvious father.

"Nope"

-Once he’s like fully processed and accepted the fact that your pussy just so happened to weaken his pull out game, he will claim the child and make sure he's being helpful with both you and the infant.

-It was actually pretty fucking hilarious to see the baby try and latch to his nipple cause his tits are fucking massive. Heeee didn’t think it was that funny tho💀

-Just let the kid grow up a little bit and they’re all about their father, and even though he may not show it all the time, he adores his baby. And they will always be a baby in his eyes. And he things you’re a phenomenal mother even though it was sort of a surprise.

Nami

-You had come aboaded with a toddler. And sure enough they latched to Nami in a heartbeat.

-“AHT! No, you stay with me and let them work.” You reprimand, giving a quick apology to the tangarine haired girl.

“Oh no they’re okay. Hey, you wanna see something cool?” He hum, taking the 2 year old by the hand before you can protest.

-Auntie Nami accidentally turned to ‘mamami’ (Mama Nami) andddd it just stuck.

-one night the three of you had fall asleep in Nami’squarter and she had woke up and just, admires you both. She couldn’t help the way her chest squeezed when she thought about raising this child with you or how much she loved being a part of your lives.

Your eyes flutter open and you give her a knowing look, her face already tinted pink.

“Nami,” you begin, your free hand pushing hair behind her ear as she hold your wrist, placing a kiss there.

“Thank you, love you.” You hum, letting yourself fall back asleep.

-yeah she’s stuck with you two for life

-unironically calls you her baby mama

Usopp

-is literally the best fuckinf dad. Literally ever.

-he wants to make sure he’s an active part of your child’s life, being sure to keep you both in good health and high spirits.

-when you broke the news he was terrified. How good of a father could he be? He just don’t want to let you down.

-“W-What if our kid hates me?” He voices one night, hands holding your tummy.

“I doubt that’ll happen. You’ll be okay Uso.”

-Guess having impeccable aim runs in the family because by time your child is year they’re already throwing projectiles with phenomenal accuracy.

-you can’t tell me he doesn’t make most of your babies toys.

-he loves seeing you just have little moments with your baby, he definetly cried when they took their first steps.

-keeps a picture of the three of you tucked away

-hints at wanting another one from time to time

Sanji

-fainted when you told him.

-honestly he’s a little shocked. He didn’t really put ‘father’ on his goal list but here yall are lol

-he’s very supported and knows that morning sickness is a bitchhhh

-“how’re my girls…or boy” he greets, pressing a kiss to your tummy then to your lips.

-much to his surprise, he was right on both parts because you’re having twins! Yayyyyy

-you cuss him out when your in labor.

-“SANJI YOU ASSHOLE! YOU DID THIS TO ME! WHY DID I FALL FOR YOUR DELICIOUS FOOD YOU FUCK!”

-he’s not allowed in the delivery room lmao he fainted again when the nurse asked if he’d like to see what was goin on

-after 6 horrendous hours, your baby boy and girl are finally born and he’s too delighted.

-“good job baby.” He praises, peppering your tired face with kisses.

-when the kids are older he’s always falling victim to their puppy eyes and begging when they ask for dessert before dinner

-“please dad! We won’t tell mom! Pleaseeee!”

-he loves being with you and loves that he’s been blasted with a wonderful wife and two beautiful children

Shanks

-oh the minute he found out he was stunned! He was sure he already had an illegitimate baby somewhere but for one of the baby mamas to actually let him know was, a bit of a surprised?

-and that’s it. He doesn’t really go out of his way to go visit and see if it’s true. He goes on about his business truely.

-one day, he comes across a lady at a bar, her bright red hair thrown up and she waits tables, her gaze almost immediately locking on his as she frowns

-….what the fuck she looks just like him.

-she goes to a couple other of the waiters/waitresses and the minute they catch his gaze they’re nodding profusely at her.

-it took, shit you not. 3 hours for them to get a table and that was only because her boss came in and MADE her seat the crew.

-“what do you want.” She huffs, her notepad clenched so tight it crumples the paper.

Shanks only further studies the girl, her rage ever present as she slams the notepad down.

“I SAID, What. Do. You. Want. Quickly, or I’m leaving you here to wait 3 more hours. Spit it the fuck out you old bastard.” She spits, leaving him somewhat shocked.

-“How about the-“

-“we’re all out. Deadbeat.” She finishes, dropping her apron and notepad, then walking out.

Safe to say that wasn’t the reaction he was expecting.

-when he finds where you guys live and YOU answer the door thank god, he firstly apologizes (which you don’t accept right away) and explains how he already met your daughter.

Speak of the devil she had just rounded the corner asking who it was.

“Don’t let this fucker the house mom, please.” She begs, gaze flittering form you to her sperm donor.

-yeahhhhhh this is why he hardly ever makes the effort to see his unsuspecting kids. Doesn’t quite pan out how he thinks.

Mihawk

- you’re not the only one at all. He’s got plenty fucking kids running around and you’re fully aware of that, having run into more than one child that looks just mf like him.

-he won’t deny any of them, but he doesn’t feel like he owes them anything either? It’s weird and you usually feel bad that he picked you and your child when he could very well have done that for the rest of them.

-he often assures you that we’re were one night stand situations he hardly remembers after being so damn drunk.

-he’s a good dad though and a great husband. He makes sure you’re taken care of even is he’s gone a lot of the time. When you told him you were having a baby he didn’t leave from your side.

-when the baby is born he’s a bit suprised they don’t look like him but as soon as they open their eyes he’s so mf smug. Those eyes are a dead giveaways that’s his baby.

-don’t let that baby ask for something be used Mihawk will without a doubt give it to them no matter what.

-“Honey I-“

-there standing in front of the fridge, in laminated with its light are your husband and child. Their eyes wide like an owls, staring directly into your soul.

-“We wanted ice cream.”

Buggy

-he loves his babies. Hands down loves his fucking babies. Plural because of course you were blessed/cursed with triplets.

-two boys, one sweet girl, and not one of them look like their daddy, besides that faint tint of blue in their hair.

-and he’s maddddd, well. not at you but at his genes.

-“honey wait, they might just grow into it?” You encourage, trying not to laugh as he tried to figure out why his kids don’t look like him.

-thank god you were right because by time they were all 4/5 that blue had brightened and the little red glow of their noses were ever present.

-he’s so attentive with you, taking care of the three of them when you need rest or just in general cause how gorgeous wife needs rest after making three gorgeous babies

-freaks his babies out when he takes his head off

-then they won’t leave him the fuck alone about it and will often take pieces of him while he chases them around for them back.

-his babies get their own spot on the show and it fucking adorable watching toddlers dance to circus music with face paint they insisted they do themselves

-best dad buggy 100%

[amnestria-the-elf]

So we're all just supposed to be fucking grateful that Larian gave us "new Wyll content" (evil ending for a man who is canonically incorruptible, what the fuck) and simultaneously broke him again (giving low approval greetings to a romanced PC, what the fuck).

I... I just... the simultaneous feelings of rage and utter hopelessness are overwhelming.

Listen, if you've read any of my posts you know I have a pretty clear "Don't yuck anyone's yum" policy. If you think an evil Wyll ending is interesting, fine. But here's why it falls flat for me.

First, like I said above, Wyll is canonically incorruptible. It's literally the entire basis of his character. He is a man who was coerced into making an infernal contract to save a city and had to pay a horrible price for doing so, then spent seven fucking years alone in the wilderness doing his damned best to protect the people of the Sword Coast, while all along telling his horrible, abusive patron to just fuck off already.

Now, could you argue that during the events of the game, Wyll develops a taste for evil? Sure. There are plenty of opportunities for his villain origin story to unfold. But they never do. His moral compass never wavers. Turned into a devil? He feels shame, because it's an outward sign that he was doing things for Mizora that were morally wrong, and he didn't see it before. His approval rating for the PC shoots through the roof if you save Karlach, a sure indicator of his true moral compass. His father kidnapped? Fuck that noise, we're gonna save him. Rescue Zariel's "asset"? Ugh, fine, but don't get distracted from the real reason we're here. His father gets tadpoled? Oh hells no, we're gonna take down these assholes and save the godsdamned world. His father accuses him of being an agent of a devil and is super pissy about it? "Everything I did, I did for the people of the Sword Coast."

For fuck's sake, he will leave the party if the PC gets too evil, even knowing it means he'll probably turn into a mindflayer immediately. Even if he's romancing the PC. Unwavering moral compass. So giving him an evil ending without also going back and changing everything about his character just feels like lazy writing to me.

Which brings me to the second reason all of this rubs the wrong way. Wyll deserves so much more content. More romanced greetings, more reactions to other characters' choices, a final boss battle that is actually about him, a default ending that actually makes fucking sense (I have another post cooking about the Avernus ending, so I will leave it for now.)

And please, spare me your "But Wyll was rewritten after early access" bullshit. That's Larian's problem. They chose to listen to feedback and do a late-stage rewrite. They then chose to implement it poorly and never fucking fix it. Other characters, who already have far more content than Wyll, have had even more added over the course of the seven released patches. Wyll, on the other hand, has been sitting around completely ignored until now when we get this evil ending.

Many have rightfully pointed out the inherent racism steeped in all of this. I want Larian to be better. But as Maya Angelou said, "When someone shows you who they are, believe them." I already didn't have much hope about Patch 7 for Wyll, but this... honestly, this is worse than him just being ignored again.

The thing that kills me the most is that this is just going to be more fodder for the fandom to completely mischaracterize Wyll, for those who already haven't bothered to think critically about his character at all to just be like, oh, cool, Wyll is evil now. Nope. You've completely missed the point.

I'm just... so tired. I've worked very hard to put this little bubble of Wyll enthusiasts around me (hi friends I love you all!) so that I can hold on to some shred of sanity in this fandom. The world needs heroes of color. Just let Wyll be the hero in peace.

[poge-life]

𝕍𝕒𝕟𝕚𝕥𝕪 𝔽𝕒𝕚𝕣 ~ 𝔻𝕣𝕖𝕨 𝕊𝕥𝕒𝕣𝕜𝕖𝕪

“ I’m (y/n) (l/n) and we’re the cast of Outer Banks and today, we’re going to test how well we know each other.” You smiled looking between the camera and the group to your left. Carlacia raised her hand as she motioned between you and Drew, “Drew shouldn’t be allowed to answer any of these because none of us will even have a chance.”

Everyone let out sounds of agreement as you shook your head, reading the first question, “I don’t know. These are questions that made me think about my answer.”

“Okay, oo. This is a good one. What movie animal is my dog named after?”

“I don’t think you’ve ever mentioned this.” Drew told you but you shook your head in disagreement, “I’ve mentioned it before but I think it was when you guys first met him.”

“The adventures of Milo and Otis?” Chase asked and Madison agreed but you shook your head. Both Austin and Drew leaned forward to try and read the car but you quickly pulled away, tucking the card against your chest, “Cheaters!”

“What movie has a dog named Milo in it?”

“Oh! The mask! His dogs name is Milo!” Rudy answered and you flipped your card, showing ‘The Mask’, “I’m a huge Jim Carrey fan and since Milo is also a jack russell, it was fate.”

“Oo, you guys are never going to get this one,” you laughed, reading the card, “it literally took me so long to even think about this one. When I was 5, I jumped off the banister and had to get stitches. Where were the stitches?”

Everyone looked over at Drew, who would be the only one to remotely know the answer but he just tilted his head at you in thought.

“Your head?” Madelyn asked but you shook your head, “Nope. My sister did though. Cracked her head open.”

“How are you and your sister still alive?” Austin asked, looking at you in surprise as you shrugged before writing your answer on the card.

“Your legs?” JD asked, snapping his fingers at you

“Nope. Not even close.”

Drew clapped his hands once as he looked over at you, “Your tongue. You bit through your tongue and had to get 6 stitches.”

“Your tongue?!?” Madison asked, looking over at you in shock as you flipped your card, showing the answer, “Yes. I smacked my chin on the arm of the couch and bit right through my tongue. My tongue was stuck and I had to get stitches.”

“You just need to live in a bubble at this point, girl.” Carlacia laughed as everyone agreed with her.

“What do I think is the grossest thing a person can do?”

“THROWING UP!” Drew and JD shouted at the same time as they high fived. You cringed as you showed your card that read ‘throwing up’ as the answer.

“I hate throwing up. I hate the way I feel before, during, and after. It’s just so gross and gives me the ick.” You shuddered as Austin patted your leg, “The first time she threw up in front of us, she cried because of how grossed out she was.”

“That was traumatizing for all of us,” Rudy explained, “we were out on a boat and she just went very pale and threw up. Everywhere. We had no idea what had happened and then she just started bawling her eyes out. We all started panicking, thinking something was wrong but then she said how she hated throwing up and it just…it killed the whole vibe.”

You chucked the marker cap at Rudy, who ducked but went to retrieve it, “Sorry that being seasick killed the vibe, dillhole.”

Letting out a laugh at the nest question, you looked over at Drew and shook your head, “you’re not allowed to answer this one. You’ll get the answer right away.”

“I’ve known all of these, baby,” he winked and your face went red as you hid it behind the card, “just trying to give them a chance.”

“You guys gross me out.” Madelyn teased, looking between you two

“What is my favorite show to binge?” You asked, but you wrote down two possible answers.

“That 70s show is one.” Chase answered, “I always hear the theme song in your trailer and you quote it constantly.”

“You also watch the walking dead a lot too.” JD added, pointing to Chase, “you yell at your laptop a lot.”

“Dude, you have no idea how long it took me to get used to her yelling at the tv.” Drew told him, “the first time she did it, I thought she was pissed at me for no reason but she was just watching the walking dead.”

Everyone started talking about how into your shows you get, causing you to hold up your hands in protest, “Okay, okay! There’s nothing wrong with being passionate about movie and tv shows. But yes, that 70s show and the walking dead are my go to.”

“Two complete opposite shows, by the way.” Madison pointed out

“Oo, how many tattoos do I have?”

Everyone went quiet as they stared at you, no doubt picturing the tattoos that laid under your clothes. You had been purposely asked to wear a long sleeve top and pants to not let them get the answer so easily.

“I wanna say…12?” Carlacia asked, tilting her head at you, “Most of them are on your right arm but I know you have a few on your left. You have the fairy wings on your back…”

“I know you have a dinosaur on your leg because I drew a hat on it last week.” Austin answered, causing you to look up from writing your answer, furrowing your eyebrows at him, “you drew a hat on Terrance?”

“You named the dinosaur Terrance?” JD laughed as you nodded, “Terrance the triceratops.”

“Terry, for short.” Drew added, pointing at you as you nodded

“I wanna say 10 or 15.” Madison said, leaning forward, “I know you got P4L after season 2 came out.”

“You only had like 2 when the show started.”

“There’s a few you guys don’t know about cause they’re always covered.” You told them, going over your answer. Drew didn’t even miss a beat with his response, “Well, they don’t. But I do.”

“Okay! Who’s next?!”

[rookiesbookies]

mischievous COD ideas😈

Heavily pregnant reader knowing that her hubby doesn’t want to be rough in the slightest with her due to her pregnancy and refrains from punishing her, so she abuses that fully to be a brat

To my sweet sweet brat reader, Im sorry if this is not all you hoped as I am a resident good girl. The one time I was a brat I got degraded (“such a good bitch”) and cried. I hope I do a good job portraying the relationships, if I dont let me know and I will edit it or rewrite sections that dont fit. You also didn’t specify so imma write for my usual set of lovelies. (Im also added Krueger because I’ve recently fallen in love with him a lil bit and he kinda fits thi)

The boys with pregnant brat wife

Price

This man is too worried about helping you get your shoes on. “You’re pregnant, isn’t not being able to see your feet punishment enough?” He’s not going to do much other than pinching you. Whether it’s your ass or your arm, and they’re hard “i had to discipline Soap subtly and im a dad” pinches. He’ll also use pressure points. Give the back of your arm the good pinch and twist. He’s just trying not to take it personally.

Soap

He’s googled what positions he can put you in. He’s googled if its safe for the baby. He has googled what he can and cannot do. He has spoke with your doctors about it, as embarrassing as that phone call was. And for certain punishments, its a long game. Like holding your ice cream you crave hostage until you learn. If he can’t make it sexual, he’ll find other ways.

Ghost

Like Price, he’s also using pressure points. Not the ones that knock you out but the ones that feel weird or make you got “ow”. Cannot get hard and it’s not because you’re not hot its bc he literally gets more flaccid than a limp noodle at the thought of possibly hurting that baby. He’s also very good at holding grudges and every time you brat out and walk all over him, he’s making a note on his phone for later.

Konig

Oh but he just got you to whine and cry you admit you want his cock. He knew eventually he could wait out your little game. “You acted out and now you must wait until I want to give it to you. You ask so nicely though, keep trying. I like when you beg.” He’s so mean, he’d make you wait until after you gave birth and however many times you acted out is how many weeks (or months depending on how he’s feeling) after you have to wait to get any pleasure from him.

Keegan

your toys aren’t doing it for you anymore? Nope. He’ll keep fluttering his fingers over you figure and let you use that tiny dildo he got you that cant even stretch you like he can. That’s all you get. His hands wont even go lower than your waist. They wont even touch close to your nipples. This is real torture. Every orgasm is so unfulfilling. I feel bad for you really. Hope this teaches you.

Gaz

He’s a doormat anyway. I don’t see him punishing anyone. He’s too much of a gentleman. I do believe he’d pull orgasm after orgasm out of you casually when you act up with his hands. Never giving you his dick as much as you beg. Pleading, crying for it, he wont budge. No you can deal with the consequences of your actions while he sits here and watches this movie. “Why aren’t you watching, love? You picked the movie. No, no, stop your whining, just sit and watch.”

Krueger

Sebastian doesn’t care. He’ll find other ways. Like right now you’re legs spread and hands flat against the wall as he spanks your ass, every time he does you have to say thank you and apologize for snapping at him. He knows you’re hormonal, but he’s going to make you apologize. Oh and he’s kissing away those tears and asking you if you understand what you do wrong while running you a nice bath and all the rubs and lotion for your poor butt.

Masterlist is pinned on profile as always, don’t forget to leave me a comment or a request in my inbox to let me know what yall want to see!

[kazumist]

4:03 p.m.

“what the hell is that?”

“gen, it’s literally just a hair mask; it won’t harm you.”

gen eyes the container in your hand suspiciously. it took a bit of struggle to fully convince your boyfriend to join you in your haircare routine. especially when he doesn’t really like people touching his hair in general. (well, you were an exception, of course. he likes the feeling of your fingers combing through his hair.) 

you scooped a spoonful of the product, put it in a cup and added water to mix it just as it’s supposed to be used. gen watches you do it all, still wondering if agreeing to this was the right decision or not. “oh, c’mon, babe! don’t look at me like that—this will be fun!” you say as you continue on mixing. you hear your boyfriend grumble a quick “fine.” as he slumps onto the chair with his arms crossed across his chest.

after being satisfied with how you mixed it, you poured a bit of the hair mask onto your palm and were about to apply it to gen’s hair—that is, until he stopped you. “wait a goddamn minute. you’re putting that in when my hair is still dry?”

“stop being dramatic, gen. and yes, i need to apply it when your hair is dry first.”

“no way.”

“yes way!”

narumi gen: zero. (y/n) (l/n): one. the scent of the hair mask wasn’t bad; gen noticed how good it actually smelled as you were applying it to the ends of his hair. “okay, now you leave it on for a good ten to fifteen minutes.” you said, then made another batch for yourself. gen then pulls out his console from his pocket and plays on it to pass the time.

fifteen minutes later, gen did as you told him and rinsed it off of his head, plus he did his usual routine of shampoo and conditioner. he thought that was it, until he saw you approaching him with three fingers full of the hair mask. “i thought we were done?”

“nope. but this is the final step, i promise! you just need to put it on damp hair and rinse and then voila! just dry your hair and you’re ready to go.” gen could only sigh—he could never say no to you. once all the steps were finished, gen started blow drying his hair just like you told him to. and to his surprise, his hair felt… soft. very soft, in fact. 

maybe he should join you in your haircare routine more often.

[quill-is-brainstorming]

I've just re-read the short lived duel that Aeneas and Achilles have in Book 20 of the Iliad and it's actually the most hilarious fucking thing.

So it starts out with Apollo disguising himself as Lycaon, one of Priam's many sons, and telling to have a go at Achilles. Keep in mind that this is post-Patroclus Achilles. Aka: berserk Achilles. Aka: so fucking mad he would fight a literal river Achilles.

Aeneas, who is capable of critical thinking, says he doubts he can actually take him on. He also references a time when he was herding cattle on Mount Ida and Achilles ambushed him, adding that the only reason he survived then was because Zeus gave him enough strength to book it (cracking up the official times that he's been saved by a god from certain death to 3, you go dude!).

However, after a bit of back and forth and a ton of hyping up on Apollo's part, Aeneas decides to try anyway.

Like, what could possibly go wrong?

Achilles notices Aeneas charging at him and he begins to taunt him. It's something among the lines of: "I'm sorry, are you, background trojan character #61, actually gonna try and beat me? And then what? Do you think that Priam will reward you in some way? Maybe making you king after him? Well it's BULLSHIT, because Priam fucked so much that your chances of succeeding him are basically 0. Ahah. Loser."

Now, you'd think that maybe Aeneas got enraged at the comment and attacked him, or maybe he even got scared and backed down, but NOPE. What does Aeneas do?

Well, first of all, he insults Achilles' insults, comparing his bickering to that of a child. Literally, "I heard third graders do better than that." And then he decides to list his and Hector's entire fucking family tree.

You know that part of the Bible that's like "this guy sired this other guy, and this other guy sired yet another guy" and so on? It's basically that.

So after he's done with all that, Aeneas states that while he'd love to have a battle of insults with Achilles, because according to him he's actually very good at insulting people (his words, not mine), they should probably throw hands now. Achilles agrees.

The duel is shortlived and Aeneas gets his ass handed to him. Badly. As expected. And he's about die when ✨️POV shift✨️ we're not on Olympus where Poseidon, Hera and Athena are watching this absolute train wreck go down.

Poseidon, pitying Aeneas, suddenly goes on a rant. It's something among the lines of: "come on guys, look at him, he's just a little guy! He literally has no stakes in this war, he doesn't deserve to die here! He even gives us lots of gifts and sacrifices, he's literally such a nice guy. How can we do this to him!?

...oh and also he's part of some prophecy, Zeus would get mad if he died."

The fact that the way it's worded makes it sound like Aeneas being part of a literal prophecy is an afterthought to him absolutely floors me, Poseidon is literally just attached to a random dude that's fighting on the opposite side to his because he thinks he's nice.

After all that Hera is pretty unimpressed and states that she really doesn't care if our man lives or dies as neither her or Athena have ever saved a Trojan from death, she however adds that Poseidon is free to do whatever he wants.

The literal moment Hera stops talking, Poseidon lunges down from Olympus and onto the battlefield to look for the two combatants. When he does, he saves Aeneas like only he can do.

You know how when Diomedes first tries to kill Aeneas, Aphrodite gently folds her hands around him to shield him? There's none of that here. Poseidon just runs up to him and literally flings the motherfucker.

It literally says that he flies "high in the air". It's like a Looney Toons sketch.

So Aeneas lands and, while he's obviously a bit dazed, Poseidon proceeds to call him a madman and essentially tells him to never do something stupid like that again and just wait until Achilles is dead, then he'll be able to murder Achaeans to his heart's content. Aeneas is fine with that.

Achilles, who just saw his opponent just get yeeted into the fucking sky, just shrugs and goes "welp, guess that guy's off limits, I'm gonna go kill someone else now I guess lol".

This entire scene is pure fucking gold and the fact that I've literally never seen anyone talk about it just breaks my heart.