#oh this was going to go private but i drafted it here which means it’s here

[genshin-obsessed]

Helliuw~ Can I request how Luocha from Honkai Star Rail going after his crush (reader)? Thank you!

𓆩⟡𓆪 Ooh this is a cute one!! Well they all usually are, but I really like this one. Luocha is just so *sigh* 𓆩⟡𓆪 This was also much longer than I intended it to be, i didn't even realize. It may not be entirely compatible with his personality, but I was just having too much fun to change it.

How He Confesses

Luocha is a generally observant person, and he's good a picking up emotions of others. So, it wasn’t hard for him to recognize that his own emotions stirred when he interacted with you.

However, just because he can recognize these feelings doesn't mean he's good at acting on them. He’ll understand them but he’ll try to either deny it or just avoid it for a while in the earlier stages.

Luocha doesn’t want to rush things, which is why he tries to take it slow. But over time, he realizes just how much he loves you.

It does make it harder for him to take it slow, so at some point, he throws caution to the wind and just attempts to confess.

Here’s the thing, there’s a certain rule to confessing, right? Like you don’t just say it to someone’s face that you love them without setting up something. Doesn’t need to be anything grand, but some effort has to go in it.

Well, that’s what he tried. See, he wanted to confess in private, wanting the atmosphere to reflect the love he felt for you. So, he set up a little picnic in a secluded area he’d found. It was perfect, with how easily the stars could be seen, to the way the moonlight poured onto the seating area. It was truly the definition of beauty. The setup was easy, he needed a blanket, maybe a couple of pillows, a bottle of wine, some snacks, and a clear night.

But then apparently it was an extremely windy night? Like, he couldn’t get the blanket to stay, the small rocks weren’t helping too much, the basket flew away, he accidentally spilled the wine before he could even set it up. Like, the date failed before he even asked you to join him.

So, he tried something else. Decided maybe something indoors would be a more neutral choice. Even if it started raining, you two would be fine. So, he set up a reservation, asked to be put in a more private area so you could talk without much noise. The venue was all fancy and stuff, so you'd love it for sure!

But apparently four customers got into a heated argument that became physical. Somehow the fight moved to the kitchen and they ended up starting a fire? Everyone was evacuated and Luocha got a call mere hours before the date that they’d be closed for a couple of weeks due to the damages.

So, that clearly failed. Well, to hell with fancy confessions, he just needed to tell you right? Maybe it was best to confess in person then give you the option to take some time to yourself and think just in case. He was a little disappointed that his other plans didn't work, but maybe it was for the best! Putting you in that situation might force some pressure onto you to give him a response immediately.

The next time you two met up, he decided to go for it. He was running with the conversation and was building up to the confession… when you got a call from Yanqing claiming he had an emergency he desperately needed you for… and you had to leave.

At this point, Luocha had to wonder of it was even in the cards for him to confess. Cards! Oh! Nothing could possibly interrupt a card, right? Sure, it was the tackiest idea ever, but desperate times call for desperate measures!

The process of writing a love letter was much more complicated than he realized. He needed it to be short and concise, but not abrupt. He also didn't want it to be too cheesy with over the top metaphors and whatnot. Honestly, it took him at least 6 drafts before he settled on one that was bearable.

He debated on sending it to you through the courier but decided against it since so much had gone wrong already. Best part about this idea? He didn't need to take up too much of your time, even a few minutes worked as he just needed to explain it. Basically, he gave it to you and instructed you to keep it safe until you got home and then read it, so that you had that privacy. You agreed and he went home feeling somewhat mediocre. On on hand, he finally got the confession out, but on the other, it was such a dumb way- in his opinion (Pocky thinks love letters are hella romantic).

APPARENTLY you lost your entire bag and the letter with it. I mean, Luocha was at his wits end. It’s like the entire universe was against him just confessing. Everything that could go wrong, literally went wrong. Your entire backpack vanished! You wouldn’t even get a chance to reject, which, at some point, had someone stopped being a fear of his due to these bizarre circumstances!

Finally, he gave up and just kept his mouth shut. He realized how much trouble was being caused every time he confessed and decided to save the entire world some grief and just bury his feelings. He’d just die with them.

The days went on, nothing really happened. Like those weird events just magically went away which did make him wonder if he was being set up. He threw that out the window when he realized no other soul other than him knew about his feelings. You two hung out as often as you usually did but you started noticing Luocha’s behavior. It was… odd. Less cheery and more distracted. You tried to ask but he kept saying it was nothing and he was just tired.

Honestly, Luocha hated lying to you. Omitting details for others was easy but for you, it felt wrong. He didn’t want to distance himself but clearly he wasn’t meant to be with you.

Then you did the unthinkable. You just… confessed. Lemme explain:

“I’m ok. You’re worrying again.” Luocha said with a slight chuckle as he raised the teacup to his lips. He easily noticed you weren’t really convinced in the slightest, but he didn’t intend on letting you know anytime soon. Who knows, the entire street might explode to keep him from confessing.

“Of course, I would worry. I really care about you, you know.” Your words were spoken with no hesitation that it made Luocha’s hand pause in the middle of him taking another sip of his hot beverage.

“Huh? O-oh, thank you. That’s really kind of you.” He said, slowly returning to reality and waving his hand a little. As if you didn’t have to say such a thing to make him feel better.

“I mean it.” You pointed out as you leaned forward a little. “I really like you and you being so withdrawn makes me worry a lot.”

“I can assure you, I really am just- wait, what?” Luocha’s eyes widened as he fully registered what you’d just said to him. You seemed confused by his expression and just shrugged.

“Well, yeah. It’s normal to worry about someone you like, right?”

“R-right but you like me. Like… you’re romantically interested in me?” His words were deliberate and he wanted to make sure there was absolutely no confusion between you two whatsoever.

“Yes. I have a crush on you. Well, for me it's a bit more intense than like but you know what I mean.” His eyes immediately darted around and he even turned around to see the area behind the outdoor café. “Luocha? What’s wrong?”

After a moment of silence from him, the blond man sighed and turned back to you. You could visibly see the relief he felt.

“Honestly, I was expecting a skiff to crash and kill us.” You were taken aback by his morbid words, your eyes widening.

“Wh-why?”

“Yeah. Why? That’s my question too.” He replied, rubbing his face. “Wait, no. Forget that, you actually feel the same way?”

“Feel the same? Wait, you like me too!? Why didn’t you say anything?” You asked, leaning even closer. At the simple words, Luocha felt a bitter feeling in his chest.

“I tried.” He replied flatly, pushing his hair back to recompose himself. “But my confession quickly turned into a series of unfortunate events.”

“Oh? What happened?” You asked, eyes filled with curiosity as you waited for him to elaborate. He was about to, opening his mouth to speak before he fell silent once more. What? No! No, he couldn't waste any more time.

“N-never mind that! Let’s talk about us. You like me, I like you. We should just go ahead and just get married.” You couldn’t help but laugh at his words, shaking your head a little. Now, it felt like he was returning to his normal self. Honestly, it wasn't that bad of an idea- technically speaking.

“Marriage? Shouldn’t we go on a date first?”

“Why? Tomorrow’s never guaranteed and we might as well just make it official.” That and… Luocha was a little scared to propose seeing as how his confession went. At this rate, you’d be the one proposing. Well, he actually didn’t hate the idea.

You couldn’t help but laugh again and Luocha felt a smile tugging at his own lips. Ok, maybe he was jumping ahead a little too fast. So instead, he reached out and grabbed your hand, feeling the warmth and comfort of it.

“Kidding. Why not turn this into an official date, then?”

“Yeah, I like that.” You said, nodding and squeezing his hand. "I mean, I don't mind getting married right now but we should probably take it slow."

[hockeywhhores]

girl next door- q. hughes

quinn hughes x reader warnings~ swearing, nothing else! summary~ it's nice to have a friend :)) genre~ friends to lovers word count~ 2.7k  masterlist

growing up next to the hughes family meant that there would never be a dull moment. i mean the first time you met the boys, you were outside building a snowman when a rogue hockey puck came flying over your head and killed your snowman’s head. quinn was the one elected to go get the puck back. he shyly walked up to you, and you were slightly on edge from having a hockey puck fly past your head, at a speed that made it stick in the snowman’s head

“are you okay? i’m so sorry.” the brunette boy came over as best he could with his ice skates still on. he looked to be about your age, but you were new to this neighborhood and had no clue who anyone was. 

“yeah, i’m okay. i think.” you said looking anywhere but at quinn. “oh here’s your puck.” you shoved the puck at him, still not wanting to look him in the eyes. quinn felt so bad for scaring you like that, and so he vowed to make it up to you. 

“my name is quinn, by the way.” he said, taking the puck from you.

“(y/n).” you confirmed and went back to fixing your snowman.

when school time came around and you had yet to make any friends; he stepped up. quinn invited you to all of his hockey games, and you sat together at lunch everyday. you became quick friends with jack and luke, but nothing compared to the bond you  had with quinn. all that being said, you thought the friendship had some downsides. he tended to miss lots of days of school, which left you pretty lonely, and you believed he was scaring away any guy who liked you. 

you had fallen for total chad type and had a big falling out, which prompted quinn to threaten to beat the shit out of him if he said one bad word about you in private or public. you loved that quinn cared for you, but you still wanted to find a guy while still in high school. 

~

the day quinn was drafted to the big leagues; you were there. the day you were accepted into umich; he was there. he promised to call everyday, but that was the one promised unkept. after a while you both just lost touch. you still texted each other birthday texts and some holidays, but it was now your last year of college and you didn’t text each other once. 

after graduation, you were staying with your parents for a couple nights as your new apartment was getting ready. you would never forget the feeling of looking out your hold childhood bedroom window and seeing quinn in his driveway helping his mom carry in groceries. you just ran out the door. 

“quinn!” your voice carried to him and turned to embrace you as you met him. 

“(y/n)! oh god, i missed you!” he confessed, holding you for longer than friends probably should, but you let him. 

“i missed you too! i have so many stories to tell you!” you excitedly said.

“i do too, but we are going to have to do it later. i have a meeting with my agent about some michigan photo shoot thing.” he confessed, staring at the ground. your eyes didn’t meet again after that. 

“oh ya, totally! i’m actually really busy right now too…..” you trailed off staring back to your own house. you felt totally shut down by him. you understood he had a job to do, but with the lack of communication and everything else in your life; you couldn’t stop yourself from being disappointed. “i should actually get back to help my dad……..ya helping my dad. bye!” you quickly left not waiting to hear his own goodbye. 

you spent the rest of the day sulking in your bedroom reading cheesy romcom book and throwing yourself a pity party. you had to be a fool not to see the feeling you had for him, but you didn’t want to ruin a perfectly good friendship (at the time). when a breakup happened in your book, you were quick to start crying. you hadn’t ever heard the voices of your parents and a guest downstairs, until the knock came to your door. 

“come in.” you grumbled, wiping the tears from your face. 

“what the matter, (y/n)?” asked quinn as he noticed the tears. he rushed to sit on the bed next to you. he rubbed your arm gently, as you cried harder after seeing him.

“i don’t know. i’m sorry for crying.” you said trying to stop yourself.

“you never have to be sorry for showing emotion. you don’t have to tell me, but i would like to help; what wrong?” quinn consoled you. 

“you.” you mumbled. 

“what did i do exactly?” quinn asked gently. 

“you stopped messaging me, and i thought you never wanted to see me again.” you looked into his eyes as you said that, and saw him flinch a little. 

“i’m really sorry for never answering you. i thought you had found a new life at umich.” he apologized. 

“you didn’t even text me happy birthday this year. that really hurt.” you confessed. 

“i thought you found a new guy.” he mumbled after a few minutes of silence.

“what? why?” you asked confused. 

“you posed it a picture of you with some guy in a bar, and it looked like you were close with him. i just got really fucking jealous. i had wanted to be with you since high school and you never showed any interest back, so i freaked and just ghosted you. i am so sorry, (y/n).” he confessed his hand staling on your arm. 

“oh, quinn!” you jumped on him pulling him into a big hug. “i’ve loved you since high school too. why do you think i went out with chad. i was trying to make you jealous and you seemed so fine with it… until the breakup.” 

“why do you think i was so ready to beat his ass. i hated him for how he treated you and that he was the one to kiss you in the hallways and hold your hand.” he said into your shoulder, taking in the scent of your perfume/body wash. 

you pulled back and look deep into his eyes, and leaned into a kiss. he closed the distance between you too and you swear fireworks shot out. the kiss was innocent and held years of wanting. 

“i love you, quinn hughes.” your breath fanning his lips. 

“i love you, (y/n) (y/l).” he said back to you, pulling you back into a kiss. you pulled away again.

“you are never allowed to ghost me like that again. got it?” you proclaimed. 

“i would never dream of it.” he smiled and kissed you again; this time for a long time.

[ambrosiagourmet]

Feel free to ignore this, but I love reading your analysis and was wondering how you start analyzing things? I try to do it myself but I always feel so unconfident in my interpretations and feel scared about posting about them and them being “wrong.”

Just curious to see how you approach your analysis and meta! Have a lovely day!

Ooh, what a good question! I'm happy to share a little, sure.

Under the cut bc it got long hehe 😅

So my first (and probably the most important) response to this is: it's hard to feel 100% sure that you are totally "correct" about this stuff.

There are always going to be other ways to interpret things. There are things you miss, or perspectives you don't consider. There will always be people who disagree. And even if you are as accurate and totally convincing as humanly possible, there always going to be different types of analysis that you can't cover all at the same time!

I think, especially when it comes to like, doing casual analysis for something you love, it really helps to just follow your passion. It's fine to speak confidently about an interpretation that you find compelling, even if you haven't considered every possible angle of how it could be wrong. It's about what speaks to you, after all.

For instance, the conflict-avoidant Falin post (which is currently the analysis post of mine with the most notes) was largely born from an interpretation of Falin that really resonated with me, based on a couple of points I remembered strongly from reading the story. It's definitely not the only way to look at Falin, and I don't think it's like the universally correct interpretation of her character. But it is the interpretation that got ME interested in talking about her, and in turn, resonated with other people, too!

I have plenty of anxiety about this stuff, so I won't pretend that it's just easy to turn off that "what if I'm wrong, though" part of your brain, but I will say it doesn't hurt to try to start writing. You can always draft a post and come back to it, or delete/private it, or reblog it later to add more context or nuance. You aren't shackled to your opinion forever, much as the internet (and anxiety) can make it feel that way.

As to where to actually start with analysis... for me, it's almost always either a detail, a question, or both.

Here's an example of an Idea In Progress I've been thinking about.

While I was grabbing screenshots from the Nightmare chapter, I noticed that Marcille's hairstyle there is similar to one of the chapter covers I'd also just looked at:

So like, that's interesting to me! Especially since the cover was from the chapter where Marcille makes her deal with the Winged Lion. So then I can start to ask like... what does it mean that there's this similarity? I could tie it in to the way I think the Lion kind of infantilizes her, talk about what influence the Nightmare chapter might have had on Marcilles decision. Alternatively, I could ask, are there any other similar times Marcille wears this hairstyle? Any other hairstyles that are repeated at key times?

Any of which could lead to some fun analysis! Alternatively, it can also just be fun to post about the detail without the analysis. Just be like, "hey, look at this weird thing." Other people might chime in with ideas about it, or maybe it will sparks something for you later! Either way, you'll have an easy reference saved for reference. Even if deeper analysis doesn't come, it's still fun to have pointed out. Details and connections are just. They are just great. And Dunmeshi especially has SO much to dig into.

(Oh, also, quick aside here: ignore anyone who tells you the details don't matter and weren't intentional. It fully does not matter. If drawing a connection helps you realize a new meaning in the story - if it inspires and motivates you - it's worth investigating.)

Anyway, the Adventurer's Bible is also a great place to find details to jump off of. The timelines and little blurbs highlight important events or facts about the characters, and you can then go fishing for other times those things come up or are referenced in the story.

In terms of starting from a question, it can also be fun just to spend a little time with something you don't feel like you totally got. I had a great time doing that with the succubus chapter, for instance. If there's a scene you find yourself kind of skimming over because its not clicking for you... go back and try and examine it! Even if it's just a small thing - an expression you missed or a panel with a funny little joke - it can be just as rewarding to try and pay attention to the parts of the story you don't understand as it is to dig into the parts you do.

~

Really, in a lot of ways, I like to use analysis as an excuse to just spend time with a story I care about. It's a way to savor it! And if you can write up those thoughts and ideas, you can share them with others, which can be even better. A dish doesn't have to be perfectly cooked to delicious, after all. Go, with Senshi's blessing, and make good food.

And of course, as with all things creative, never forget about Two Cakes:

[radioactive-reactions]

good evening :)

would it be ok to ask the fallout 4 companions reacting to a sole who manages to get a tank working and takes it for a little cruise?

please and thank you!

Good afternoon! What a polite ask! You’re very welcome. To be honest, I’ve been expecting them to add (or, well, re-add) vehicles into Fallout ever since they made the move to 3D. I suppose there’s always Fallout 5...

Cait is all for it, going so far as to straddle the main guns and point out targets for the tank’s wrath as the Sole Survivor pilots it. Every shot threatens to buck her right off with its force- and only makes her manic grin all the wider. “Yeah! Get that radstag next- wait, fuck do you mean we’re out of shells?!”

Codsworth, more than anything, is just worried that the Sole Survivor is going to run themselves over- or worse, blow themselves up. He constantly hovers behind the tank, chiming in with advice that he surely thinks is helpful. “I beg you to think about this for a moment! The family Chryslus is one thing, but... oh dear.”

Curie is right beside Codsworth in fretting, nervously watching the tank trundle along while half-expecting it to spontaneously explode. “You... need a license to drive such a thing, non? Ah, it is very dangerous- it is not, what is the saying, legal for the street?”

Danse gives it a routine inspection, viewing it as yet another piece of useful pre-War technology to be catalogued, preserved, and never thought about again. “Dual 140-millimeter cannons, smoothbore. Depleted uranium penetrators. Four tread arrays, in good condition. This is a big find for the Brotherhood, soldier. Proctor Ingram’s going to have a field day with this one... you are donating it, correct?”

Deacon wastes little time clambering into the cabin, running his fingers over all the little switches and dials. He looks so at home in the tank that it’s hard to remember that he has absolutely no idea how to use it. “Who, me? Uh, yeah, I’ve seen one of these before. Seventh... Republic of Dave... Mechanized Division, man. It’s a real thing.”

Hancock insists on hotboxing the tank, reminding the Sole Survivor that he’s never had the chance to try it with an actual functional vehicle. What little smoke escapes it as it rolls along only convinces poor Curie further that a catastrophic engine failure has occurred. “It’s a symbol, you dig? We take this Army shit, we smoke up inside it? It’s like giving the Man a big, rolling ‘fuck you’. Trust me on this.”

MacCready takes every opportunity to ham it up alongside Deacon, recalling his time in the Gunners to more accurately imitate a military hardass... which lasts for about fifteen seconds once the lurching tank gives him motion sickness. “Is that insubordination on my crew, private? Drop and give me twenty... oh, God, once we stop. Can we stop?”

Valentine would whistle if he could. He’s not shy about getting up close and personal, nudging the treads with one of his well-worn shoes. “...Well, would you look at that? You fixed the only machine in this place more broken-down than I am. Kinda gives me hope.”

Piper joins the peanut gallery with X6 and Curie, already scribbling the rough draft of an article in her omnipresent notepad. “I dunno, Blue. Tell you what: you can ride around in the big metal coffin all you want, and I’ll tell you when you’re about to crash into a tree. Deal?”

Preston is more than a little nervous... but just as impressed, too. Still, he won’t go near the thing, preferring to have Sturges check it out on his behalf. “...Wow. Uh- wow. General, are you sure this sends the right message? We’re here to help the Commonwealth, not... you know, level it.”

Strong feels a bit threatened by the presence of something potentially more destructive than he is, and immediately tries to lift the tank to prove that he’s still on top. He manages to get its front end maybe half an inch off the ground before collapsing, shamed and indignant. “STRONG NEVER LIKE MACHINES ANYWAY. DON’T FIGHT FAIR!”

X6-88 just watches from a distance, thoroughly unimpressed with it all. “No. I don’t think it’s likely to be of any value. A competent asset retrieval team could take it apart in minutes.” Behind those dark sunglasses, though, his eyes are as wide as dinner plates... and is he flinching every time another explosion rocks his surroundings? A trick of the light, surely.

Dogmeat loves it. Of course he does. It stirs primal memories of chasing cars in his little brain- and this one is actually slow enough to catch!

[annlillyjose]

Dairy Whiskey – Update 03

[image description: on a background of dark green leaves with water droplets, a white serif font reads, “dairy whiskey – update 03”. / end id]

hi again! after what seems to have been ages, your girl is back with yet another dairy whiskey update, the third of its kind.

if you ask me how the project is going, well, it’s been stagnant, but i’d just like to call it a marinating piece of literature. there’s about ten thousand words to go and i know exactly what to do, but it’s just not been working. i’m hoping that i can get back to working on it during camp in july.

but for now, here’s an earlier chapter from the draft which i’m posting for three reasons.

i love sharing my work with y’all

i’m desperate to find some means to get back into the book, so i’m going to rely on a tumblr update to dive into chapters i had finished two months back

any and all hype motivates me to write, so please be kind to me <3

i think that’s all. let’s go to the update!

excerpts and taglist under the cut.

disclaimer: this is an original work of fiction. plagiarism of any kind will not be tolerated.

TWs: this novel deals with themes of childhood and religious trauma, sexual, emotional, and substance abuse, mental health issues, self-harm, abortion, suicidal ideation, etc. so please be kind on yourself and read ahead only if you’re comfortable. while the excerpts i share may or may not touch on these, the themes are very prevalent. please be kind on yourself and read ahead only if you’re comfortable.

a lot of the plot is kept private for now because i intend on publishing this book, so please excuse the lack of context. i hope you can enjoy the prose, though.

chapter five – rose in the plain, lily in the valley

here’s the opening line, where we look into dinah’s childhood with her mother.

When I was a child with neat pigtails and crunchy, sequinned frocks, mother took us to the hills of Vagamon.

in the next excerpt, dinah, along with her mother and ephron, is at a textile shop in town to pick out an outfit for a wedding reception to come. dinah wants a skirt that twirls but she can't find any. this is the scene where she finds it.

When she emerged from the godown carrying a pile of five or six sets, I spotted a squash-orange. It was the only one I wanted to try on. “The orange one,” I told mother. She took it from the salesperson and she guided us to the trial room. Mother helped me into the skirt, beaded and jewelled at the edges. The blouse was sleeveless with a square neck and an open back, with a string looped criss-cross down and tied at the bottom. The front of the top was embroidered with orange jewels in the shape of flowers, leaves, and small doughnuts. “I love this,” I said. Mother smiled at me and helped me out of it. She handed it over to the salesperson and paid the bill at the counter. We went back home in another auto.

honestly, congrats girl! i was so happy for little dinah that i almost shed a tear or two writing this scene. but, as we all know by now, she can't have one good thing thanks to her family. the grandmother is displeased with the colour of the set because it, apparently, makes her look darker than she really is, and hence begins her insecurities with skin tone. thanks, grandma.

Grandmother held my chin in her palm and wiped my tears. “Oh, don’t cry, angel. It’s only the colour. You look darker, like a crow. If it had been some other colour, then maybe…” “Stop it!” mother shouted. “Don’t talk to her like that. My daughter can wear whatever she wants. She looks beautiful in this dress. She always does. Stop telling my daughter she is not pretty. Stop lying to her.” I had been crying more intensely now, tears wetting my school uniform. “She would have been so much more beautiful if she was fairer. I told you to give her saffron milk but you never listened to me. Because of your arrogance, your daughter will have to suffer.” “She’s the prettiest little girl I’ve seen,” mother said. Her voice cracked like a twig in her throat. She looked at me, and then at Ephron. She told him, “Go inside with your sister.”

and hence, he takes her to their room and they have a really sweet moment there, which i'm depriving you of because plot...

moving on, the next chapter begins with dinah remembering how ephron saved her from dying and how he had taken care of her all that while. and then, she says she's going out the next day (with austin, but she leaves that part out).

and this party is where i'm going to cut it off because, again, too much plot that i can't reveal. but, here's a heartwarming scene where dinah sees her mother as someone beautiful and feels better abut herself.

But it was on that day that I noticed – mother was darker than I was. She always had been. And she wore red and orange sarees through the house, with her oiled black hair and household sweat. And she looked beautiful. She had always looked beautiful. She had given me something so beaming and radiant – her skin. She had also given me her eyes. And her teeth and bones and eyelashes. She had given me the form I occupied, and when I looked at her, I saw where I came from. I saw where my body was heading and forgot about the squash-orange long skirt making my skin too dark. I saw mother and saw the house of my blood, the vessel that had carried it for years, and forgot about everything and wanted to dance. So, when the bride and groom got on the stage and began to dance to their choreographed dance routine, I grabbed Ephron by the arm and we danced at the back of the hall. He ran to the front, holding my hand, and twirled me around until I felt dizzy.

again, i shed a tear writing this. she was too innocent to have been broken like that. i'm sorry, pal. i'm sorry about all the trouble i gave / am giving you.

vignette five – vineyard secrets

in this episode, we discover something that had been too obvious to begin with – dinah is not straight. everybody please welcome veronica to the party.

here's the opening line:

Dinah remembers Veronica by her face – plump and glossy with a berry flush at all times, her skin the colour of almond milk.

if you're wondering who she is and where she's from, here you go.

She was her roommate at the hostel to which she had moved for higher secondary, hoping that she would go unnoticed like she had at boarding school. But Veronica, who had lived in the UK her whole life with a Malayali father and an Italian mother, had found her intriguing.

the day veronica moves into hostel, dinah had already been there for a week. she helps veronica, who insists on being called nic, settle in and shows her around. in the evening when she shows dinah pictures of her family, dinah gets sad and tells her about mariam. it was at this moment that they kiss.

yep, i'm not that cruel. i give her good times too.

Like lightning to the night, they had crashed and collided. The rumbling would come after. There would be no fire, no wounds, no burns. They would leave their secret to ripen between them, like a juicy orange – sweet and tangy. They would see each other until they left school two years later, and after that, their secret would be buried in the ground.

and here's the last line, mirroring the first.

Dinah remembers Veronica by her face, but also by her breath, laden with mint.

so, that's it for this update. hope you enjoyed reading my no-context-whatsoever excerpts. tell me what you've been up to, how writing's even going, what your plans are for camp in july, and how you are in general.

thank you for reading. i'll see you again in another update.

– ann.

general tagist (ask to be added or removed)

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[the-lancasters]

Outside of Windenburg

Previous| Beginning  | Next

Transcript under the cut

Ginny - You have been cooped up in that room with Marcus for hours. I would have thought you would have expired with all that hot air by now

Sarah - Usually that would be a reasonable assumption. But no -we are just working together on going through the tour programme with a fine tooth comb.

Ginny - So the advance went….. well then?

Sarah - Actually - yeah. I got Marcus to see my point of view at least. The next challenge is what to actually do about it.

Ginny - What can you realistically do? Against the king of all people?

Sarah - Well - I think I know where we can start

--

Marcus - Where on earth are we going? Oh my god have you brought me all the way out here to kill me? Finally get the upper hand?

Sarah - Honestly the whole ‘house in the middle of nowhere”  thing is so not my style

Marcus - Good. Wait - what?

Marcus - Sarah. Please tell me what we are doing here or I will get into the car and leave you here

Sarah - I never knew you were so dramatic Marcus. We are here to seek some advice.

Marcus - Advice?? Advice from who??

?? - Sarah. Marcus. Welcome, come on in. I hear you have a problem.

Yvonne Markson, Deputy Private Secretary to HM King George

Emma Sewell, Private Secretary to HRH Prince Robert

Anne Roberts, Private Secretary to HM Queen Elizabeth

Katherine Wells, Private Secretary to HRH Princess Margaret

Yvonne - You need to make every opportunity into a positive no matter how small.

Ann - One way is using Victoria.

Katherine - Yes Victoria can be your secret weapon.

Ann - The King underestimates the power of women within the Monarchy, otherwise Elizabeth would not be in the background so much.

Emma - Men. Always wanting it to be all about them.

Sarah - How can Victoria change things?

Emma - Use the interest in her clothes to your advantage. Use it to change the narrative - local designers, tell a story etc

Marcus - Your advice is to put Victoria in a local skirt and everyone ignores any issues?

Emma - As a part of a wider plan Marcus - of which you both play a crucial part.

Marcus - Us? We are not the focus

Emma  - Of course not. But you both have your own talents - use them!

Yvonne - I should not be telling you this but there is one event that the King has had a particular interest in

Sarah - Oh?

Yvonne - Yes. He has taken an unusual interest in the speech being written for Charles for the state dinner, wanting to read each draft as they are finished

Marcus - What are you saying?

Yvonne - That it would be prudent to do your own reading of the speech

Sarah - If the King is taking as much of an interest as you say, then surely he would notice edits?

Yvonne - Not if they happen a matter of hours before the speech is delivered.

--

Marcus - I’ve never heard of such an alliance between households - It's unbelievable! Usually its every man - or woman- for themselves.

Sarah - Maybe no one ever told you because of a certain reputation as a giant prick. Just guessing

Marcus - Well you can stop guessing thank you very much

Sarah -  I believe it was started by Yvonne a few years ago. A support network for women who work for the Royal Family. I’ve found it very useful every once and awhile

Marcus - So that’s how you got that reception at Goldsborough to go ahead! You had inside help!

Sarah - I'll use whatever means I have available for Victoria. You would do exactly the same!

[mysterious-ocarina]

Do You Ever Shut Up?

Dream x reader

Main Masterlist

A/N I've had this story in the drafts for over a month. it didn't turn out how i wanted it to but i've been so busy and unmotivated to write. I don't know how sapnap feels about his real name being used so he's just referred to as sapnap.

(2.4k words)

“God Sapnap, you’re such an idiot,” you spoke with fond annoyance. You were best friends with Sapnap since you guys were kids, until he moved to Florida with a friend of his. He’s been begging you for months to move to Florida so you can be closer to him. 

Little did he know that you have already packed your place up and have a one-way plane ticket with tomorrow’s date on it. You even found a cheap apartment really close to where he was. You were planning to surprise him.

“But, it would be so much fun here. I know you hate working at that bar downtown so your job isn’t holding you back,” he rationalized. “Plus I think you and Dream would get along perfectly.”

“I don’t know about that Sapnap. He’s too cocky and you know I like to put cocky people down a peg,” you told him. You’ve only spoken to him maybe once or twice and only in groups. You weren’t a streamer by any means but every once in a blue moon you were in Sapnap’s stream. You’re kind of friends with his friends. You don’t really privately talk to any of them, maybe Karl and Quackity, but not always.

“I do hate that bar job, which is why I quit a few days ago,” you explained. You felt like giving him something whether or not he picked up on it or not. Lately when he asks you to come to Florida, you don’t outright say no. You just change the subject or something to divert his attention.

“You quit and you didn’t tell me right away? I thought we were closer than that. How could you break my heart like this? Don’t make me call your mom, I do have her number,” he winked at you. You simply rolled your eyes at his dramatics. 

“Whatever, I need to get to bed Sapnap so goodnight,” you had to get up early for your flight tomorrow.

“Fine, sweet dreams bitch,” he replied with a dashing smile. What are you going to do with this idiot?

Next day at the airport

The flight wasn’t too bad. No crying babies and the seat next to you was empty. When you finally pulled your suitcase off the luggage rack you made your way outside the airport. You realized that you would need an Uber to get to Sapnap’s place so you quickly called one.

You gave your driver Sapnap’s address and you were on your way  to his place. You were very anxious but you couldn’t decipher if it was good or bad nerves. On one hand you were very excited to see Sapnap and to meet his roommate. On the other hand, what if Sapnap was only joking? Or his roommate ended up not liking you. That would make hanging out a little awkward.

When you made it to Sapnap’s house, you quickly shook out any bad thoughts. You thought this would be a fun surprise for him, there was no way it could go bad. You knocked on the door and heard some shuffling inside. When a tall blond guy opened the door, your heart stopped. Not only were you hoping that Sapnap was going to be the one to open the door, but this guy (who you presumed to be Dream/Clay himself) was a very attractive counterpart to the male species.

After a long pause, Clay smiled at you and spoke, “Can I help you?”

“Oh. Um. . . Is Sapnap here?” you asked him. You hoped that he would recognise you and didn’t think you were some weird fan that found out where they lived.

“He’s here. What’s your name?”

“I’m y/n. I’m Sapnap’s friend from Texas. I wanted to surprise him,” you smiled at him. When he finally recognized you, you saw him let out a soft sigh of relief.

“Oh, I thought we got doxxed for a second there,” he chuckled out. “I’m Clay by the way, I think we’ve only talked a few times. Come on in.”

“Yeah I’m not a content creator so I’m not very involved with any of the stuff that you guys do. I will watch videos or catch a stream occasionally though,” you replied. As he brought you into his house, you couldn’t help but stare at him. You also figured out that he seemed a lot more chill than his online persona, not as cocky.

“Are you staying here? You’re welcome to a guest bedroom,” he asked kind of hopefully.

“Actually I live here now. I found an apartment close to here and moved so I could be closer to him. He’s been begging me for ages to move, so I finally did,” you explained. It felt like you had all of his attention but that’s not likely, he just met you and he was just being kind to his roommate’s best friend.

“Well then, I can’t wait to see more of a pretty girl like you,” he replied with a smirk. “I’ll go get Sapnap for you.”

Before you could reply, he was gone. It seems the cockiness isn’t all for show. You pulled yourself together when you heard loud footsteps running your way.

“Y/N! What are you doing here?” he rushed out as he gave you a big hug.

“I came to surprise you. Do you wanna see the apartment I got? I haven’t gone there yet,” You asked. This was going to be so much fun.

It’s been a few months since you came here. Since then, the moving company had brought all your stuff and Sapnap and Clay graciously helped you move in and get settled. You hung out with Sapnap almost everyday, most of the time at his place. This meant you saw Clay all the time which could be good or bad depending on the day.

You found out that Clay was sweet and very funny. He was also annoyingly charming, but we won’t discuss that. He took whatever chance he could to flirt with you or to make you all embarrassed.

You also found out that Sapnap not only would approve of this relationship, that will never actually happen, but he actually encourages it. He never shuts up about how he thinks you guys are perfect for each other. He likes the fact that you always have a comeback for Dream and apparently Dream likes that too because teasing and such only got worse.

Today you were in Clay's room while both him and Sapnap streamed. You didn’t mind being in their streams but you didn’t want your face to be out there so you mostly hung out with Dream during these streams. Their fans seem to like the banter that you brought to the group.

“Obviously, chat likes me better. Look at all those hearts they are spamming just for me,” you sassily exclaimed at Dream. 

“Oh, come on now. We are literally on my twitch. They are here for me,” he pointed at himself with a wink at you. 

“I’m on y/n’s side. They are definitely here for her. Our viewers spike when she’s here,” Sapnap laughed out.

You smiled triumphantly at Dream, he simply rolled his eyes and went back to playing with Sapnap, “Whatever, at least I actually know how to play minecraft unlike yourself.”

“Oh, is that the best insult you got? That’s kinda sad Dreamy-poo,” you quickly replied. While it is true that you’ve never played minecraft before, you didn’t really care since video games aren’t your thing.

“OOH, that would be a fun stream. We get y/n to beat the game or something. What do you think chat?” Sapnap asked. You thought it could be fun. You looked over at Dream and he seemed excited about that idea.

“That could be fun, wanna try that right now?” Dream excitedly looked over at you. Well when he looks at you like that, how could you say no?

“Sure, why not?” you replied. You and Dream switched chairs and he started a new world for you. He named it “y/n first time” and giggled at the double meaning of that. Sapnap also joined the world in Creative mode so he could help if you needed.

‘“Okay, put your hands here on the keyboard. W to move forward, A and D to move left or right, and S to move backwards,” he grabbed your hands and explained to you. The contact was very unexpected and had you blushing at Dream. When he turned to you, he didn’t mention your flustered state but he did smile and wink at you. He kept explaining to you the controls, “The space is to jump and use shift to crouch, which means you won’t fall off the edge of blocks.”

The rest of the stream was spent with you trying to beat the game with Sapnap and Dream helping you out. Dream was very flirty and today happened to be one of the days where you didn’t find it annoying. You just hoped chat wouldn’t notice or get weird with it. Last thing you needed was fanfiction. -_-

“Woo-hooo! That’s how it’s done guys,” you screamed, as the achievement came on the screen. Without thinking, you turned and gave Dream a hug. While you were hugging, you realized that you didn’t want him to let go of you. It also seemed he felt the same because he wouldn’t let go either.

The moment was ruined when you heard Sapnap complimenting you, “Good job, y/n! You finished the game pretty quickly. What did you think?”

You quickly let go of Dream and pretended as if nothing happened, “That was really fun, but I couldn’t have done it without you guys helping me out.”

Dream seemed lost in thought when you looked at him. When he finally snapped out of it, he and Sapnap did their outro and ended the stream. Sapnap came into the room to give you a high five, “That was a lot of fun. Our fans really seem to like you.”

“Thank you. It was fun, but I definitely couldn’t do this as often as you guys do,” you replied.

“You could always do it like Dream. He rarely ever streams,” Sapnap said sassily. This seemed to bring Clay back to reality because he gave a soft, but not too soft, punch to Sapnap’s arm making Sapnap rub it and you to softly laugh.

As Sapnap was leaving Clay’s room, he asked, “Are you guys hungry? I was thinking of picking up some food.”

“That sounds great Sapnap. I’m good with anything,” you replied. Clay hummed in agreement. Once Sapnap had left to get the food, you were left alone with Clay.

“Wanna watch youtube or something while we wait for Sapnap?” you asked him. After thinking about it, you decided that you wanted to make some kind of move today. You hoped that he wasn’t flirting with you just for the fun of it and actually reciprocate your feelings.

“Sounds good,” he said. He went to sit on the living room couch and pick something to watch while you went to get a snack.

“I didn’t want to eat too much before Sapnap comes back with food so I just grabbed a small pringles can,” you told him. You went to sit on the couch and sat just a little bit too close to him.

You could see Clay staring at you from the corner of your eye but you made no response. He put his arm on the back of the couch behind you. He had on some show he had been watching all week. You didn’t really care though because your focus was all on him.

Once Clay had all of his focus on what you guys were watching, you started to inch closer to him, basically cuddling into his shoulder. He looked at you questioningly but allowed you to snuggle closer to him causing you to blush.

Eventually Clay’s arm made its way around your shoulders. You mindlessly played with the hand that was on your shoulder and you felt it twitch.

Finally you just bit the bullet and asked Clay straightforwardly, “Why do you tease me all the time?”

He took a second to think of his answer, seemingly deciding to go the joking or the serious route.

“You just look so pretty when you're flustered,” he answered, honestly. This made you heat up all over. 

“I’m . . .pretty?” you asked, unsure where you want this conversation to go. Clay seemed to make this decision for you.

He fully turned towards you before replying, “The prettiest. I knew it as soon as I answered the door for you.”

“So you annoy me because you like me?” you shyly asked.

“Well when you put it like that, you make me sound like a middle schooler. But to answer your question, yeah. I enjoy making you flustered and I especially love it when you snap back at me. I can be a little shit sometimes but you take it in stride,” he smiled at you.

You felt elated by this confession and got as close to him as you could, your face inches from his.

“So would it be okay if I steal a kiss from you?” you whispered.

“You could steal a million of them if you wanted to,” he replied. With that, you leaned forward and kissed him.

This kiss wasn’t very heated. It was a slow but loving kiss, like all the tension was leaving both of your bodies. You didn’t feel fireworks, you felt the butterflies in your stomach settle. 

Once the kiss was over, you both simply stared at each other. Both of you happy over this new calmness of your relationship.

The moment was ruined by a flash of a camera shutter. Both you and Clay turned around to see Sapnap in the doorway, phone in one hand and food in the other.

“I can’t wait to tell George about this. He owes me 50 bucks,” he excitedly informed you guys.

“Did you guys bet on us?” you asked Sapnap, embarrassingly.

“Of course! I bet you guys were head of heels for each other but George bet that you guys hated each other's guts. I turned out right,” he mentioned proudly.

Clay thought it was funny while you just glared at Sapnap. Sapnap simply walked towards the kitchen before saying, “Just make sure to keep the noise down, lovebirds.”

Clay wheezed even harder as you just blushed and hid your face in embarrassment.

“What do you say we go do what he says?” Clay seductively asked you. You simply blushed harder and cuddled closer to him, not able to form a proper response.

[natura-est-sacellum]

Why are people bashing on trad males now?

Speaking on behalf of all us more conservative, traditionally feminine women, there are a lot of trad man blogs that interact with us purely by talking down to us. They post a lot of suggestive photos of scantily clad women, or reblog quotes from the Bible that discuss women being submissive to their husbands but either those quotes cut off the part that asks men to be submissive to their wives, or misinterprets the quotes entirely.

Speaking on behalf of my Christian followers and mutuals, they don't appreciate the porn, the misquoting of the Bible, or the BDSM/DDLG imagery and language present on their blogs.

On a personal note, and I don't talk about this because I do have a lot of male followers and I don't want to alienate them and make them feel unwelcome or uncomfortable reaching out and asking questions if they want to...but I have had issues with men on here messaging me privately and asking to "get to know" me because we "have a lot in common". And that sounds far too flirtatious to me. It might not be; they could just be very nice. But I am a married woman. I state this openly in my blog header. If you message me looking for possible companionship without properly checking to see if I openly share my relationship status, that tells me either you aren't very thinky...or you just don't care. Both of which, to me at least, are red flags.

I have almost written at least a dozen vague posts about such messages only to save them to drafts for a time I feel more courageous or delete them outright. After all, I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. I am a classical woman, I need to be agreeable.

But I am so. Fucking. Done. With being agreeable. I am married. I hate porn. Sacrifice and service is obligatory on BOTH halves of a marriage. Husbands and fathers need to pull their own weight in the household. And if you equate aforementioned service as a sexual thing, you're a fucking creep, get the fuck outta my messages.

Sidebar: the amount of sugar daddy/paypigs I've had come into my messages looking for a sugar baby makes me want to commit war crimes. Fuck your own face, how bout that geezer? And I do mean geezer; almost all these men have been 40+. For context, my youngest parent is 47. What the fuck does a 40+ man want with a woman in her late 20s? And don't start with some biology bullshit about hormones or whatever, I don't give a fuck.

Between the guys in my messages and randos I come in contact with in my personal life, I'm this damn close to actually investing in a burka. Not because I'm fond of Islam, but because I want to be left the fuck alone and unogled by men who aren't my husband.

You know I wear my hair bound when I go out? Maybe just a simple ponytail or braids, but I have been sexualized for my hair. Because I have natural red hair and...idk, guys get weird about that. I've had 3 men through my adult life ask if the carpets match the drapes. In public. While in a professional environment. And when I've brought this up to people, they're like, "oh, you're reading too much into it". Like...bitch?

Please, someone explain this to me. How is this okay? Do blondes get asked this? Because they're just as likely to get their haircolor from a bottle as well. I genuinely want to know.

I have an Artemis-esque H A T R E D of being sexualized. And while this is a seldom-discussed topic as far as I've seen from my mutuals, I would be willing to bet they all have their personal struggles with men being creepy on here. Some of my mutuals are happily taken, as well. And unless you get off on guys flirting with you even though you're married, you're probably just gonna be pissed.

Now, don't get me wrong, there are some trad man blogs on here that don't post porn. That don't talk down to women, but rather value our political and theological opinions and engage us in genuine debates. That post Bible quotes in full, and in context, and further explain what the quotes actually mean. That keep to themselves, and have simply messaged me "hey, I really enjoy your blog, keep fighting the good fight". And I appreciate those blogs for being gentlemanly and not pushing the bounds of propriety.

[sebdoeswords]

you rb something from my art account and mentioned some marina, and not to be nosy but who the hell is that

oh boy, strap in for a loooong story. I was gonna answer this privately because i just know she can sniff her name out in a crowd and will come for me, but I saved it as a draft and because tumblr is such a marvel of technology now there's no option to answer privately anymore so 🙃 Gonna put this under a cut. Fandom drama ahead.

Basically Marina is a a user who has been involved in a lot of fandom drama (that she keeps starting). She ships Roche with Ciri, and I assume she's a monoshipper (or whatever you call the opposite of multiship) because she can't get it into her head that other people ship different things. She insists that Ciri is the one true partner for Roche, and has been going around harassing people who ship Roche with other characters, mostly Iorveth, because that's the most popular pairing for him, but I've also gotten some flak for shipping him with Geralt. On the other side she goes around to people who ship Ciri with other characters as well, most prominently whenever people have wlw ships for her (Marina is homophobic, it's clear from some of the asks she sends).

Lots of people are uncomfortable with Roche/Ciri (Or VernonCiri, as is the ship name she uses) because of the big age gap, and more specifically the fact that Ciri is only barely out of her teens (I've got some age gap ships myself, since that's just a thing that happens in a fandom with characters that reach supernaturally high ages, but where I get uncomfortable is when characters that aren't quite settled into adulthood are involved, and Ciri is shown throughout especially the third game to still be quite immature in a lot of aspects)

Anyway, this aversion some people show really grates on Marina, and she keeps insisting that people's refusal to ship something equals harassment and "throwing shit" at her ship, when really I've not seen many instances of people actually talking badly about her ship outside of trying to explain why they don't ship it.

Marina has a habit of stalking the tags of Roche and Ciri, as well as rorveth, cirys, vesiri, many of the ships she doesn't like, and then sending hate to the people who post things she doesn't like. I assume this is what happened on your art blog, since when i went down it and found the old ask she sent you, you'd posted a picture of Roche and Iorveth before that, and I think she just assumes it's ship art whenever those two are shown together, regardless of context. She'll often say things about ships not being canon (funnily enough neither is hers, but whatever), Roche or Ciri not being gay, or asking why X ship and not VernonCiri. She also keeps insisting that her ship is not pedophilia, which none of us ever claimed it was, so.

She's also sent explicit modded screenshots of her ships to people unprompted (and by explicit i mean nsfw), has taken credit for other people's mods, as well as plagiarised a friend of mine's edits by recreating the set of images exactly except with the models swapped out, with no mention of any "inspiration" or credit. Over on twitter she quote retweeted a fic summary i'd tweeted, copied the summary and swapped out the character names, then blocked me so I couldn't see, and when called out for it tried to claim that wasn't plagiarism and that I shouldn't take it so seriously.

This whole thing got to the point my friend made a callout post because there was just so much harassment going on across so many different throwaway blogs, anon messages, and even different platforms. If you want to see everything she's done (or did up to the point that post was made) here's a masterpost with all the receipts.

I've left out a huge chunk of happenings, but if you wanna know more, or want to chat, feel free to DM me. Also sorry you got involved in all of this 💀

[blackbutler-readerinsertsandjunk]

Hi! Can I request Alois, our Ciel, real Ciel and Sebastian, with a s/o who makes music as a form of coping please? The music being similar to the likes of Ethel Cain, Flower Face, Nicole Dollanganger, especially in terms of themes. Thank you!

bwaaah thank u for giving me some new artists to listen to~

I have only listened to a couple songs, but I'm a sucker for dark music with pretty voices

I also had fun making up some lyrics for the S/O's songs, so I hope I did ok!! <3

Ooh. Haunting and gorgeous… one of his very favorite combinations! It’s not really his fault that he’s drawn to it all. He’s got his own issues to cope with, various traumas, and he can find comfort in the things his S/O writes about, like they find comfort in those things. Maybe the two of them aren’t exactly the same, but if he can curl up inside this music and feel not so alone, he thinks something about it must be helping them to heal, too. He’ll happily spend nights with his head on their chest, singing along quietly to the songs of theirs which most find their way to his mind in a constant loop. “Here in the garden, shall I stay? / Or will I grow wings so I can fly away? / There’s not a place / that could ever erase / the stains on my soul that have yet to fade to grey…”

Oh, dear, how very complicated his darling is. How did he never notice what a creative mind they hid behind that pretty face? That’s fine. He’s more than happy to give their music his full appreciation, now that he’s managed to hear some of it. He also has a penchant for looking at their first drafts and jotted-down ideas… he’s actually very good at picking out the parts that hit him in the most delightfully painful way. Then he’s happy to help them build the rest of the song around those focal points, if they’d have his company in this process. It’s certainly an exercise in imagination, sitting at the piano with them and feeding off their energy. It’s almost relaxing. “Knock, knock / do you know who’s there? / the dead don’t talk / but I don’t care / cold and pale / my lips still speak / I’ll tell the tale / I’ll show them what you did to me.”

… Quite disturbing, if you ask him. Quite. He doesn’t presume to know the full extent of whatever they’ve gone through, but his sweetheart is free to do as they please. If it helps them, then by all means, he isn’t going to demand they stop or try to hide it from him just because it isn’t something he would do. A part of him is interested in it; the things he’s been through are things he avoids thinking about at all. Dwelling on them long enough to write songs about his feelings in regard to his past would drive him insane. It’s different for them? Perhaps once those things are out of their head, it’s some kind of healing. If it works for his S/O, then more power to them. He doesn’t go near their process, nor does he try to write any himself. That said, he does catch himself singing under his breath occasionally, small parts of their songs which are a gentle balm to his heart. “But you’re in the corner crying / nobody knows your heart, do they? / And sometimes it feels like you’re dying / keep your head above water, water / maybe being baptized won’t feel like drowning one day.”

Ah, now… what a dark, beautiful little soul he has on his hands. He knew from the start that his beloved had a twisted and delicious energy, but he didn’t plumb the depths of it until he began to pay more attention to the things they write. They have been through the worst life has to offer, it seems, and he’s only appealing to his true demonic nature when that makes him all the more attracted to them. Although he keeps his composure around others, he shows a marked curiosity in their work whilst in private with them. They’ll show him as much as he wants to see, won’t they? He can pick out favorite pieces, and the ones which sound as if they hurt most will earn them a kiss from him. He wants to be close to their troubled heart — he does, however, very much want to make sure it doesn’t grow ever more troubled. Should it please them and be a comfort, he’ll even sing their music as he holds them in his arms. “Blacker than black / I cannot see through the dark / did I ever have a heart? / Oh, did I ever have a heart? / Was it taken from me / and you called it setting me free? / So come let me do the same for you / let me set you free, too.”

[fountainpenguin]

"See, I am a legend and I always win! The stars in the cosmos, they bow to my whim!" (x)

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New Dog's Life chapter today! ~ 3rd Life series fan-season

Chapter 24 - “Jolt (Cleo, Scott)”

❤️ Read on AO3

💛 Start from Chapter 1

💚 More Pixels Imperfect fics

---

Martyn buries Cleo alive while talking about pacing structure and roleplay plot points. Also, Mayor Scott gets a reality check about running a utopian server hub that no one ever leaves.

(First 1,000 words under the cut)

---

ZombieCleo - Zombie

Status: Mentally stimulated

Historian, museum curator, and stadium gamemaster

💙  🧡  💚

They're up in the tunnels, lying on their back on exposed tweenstone while the opals glitter in the walls above them. It's dead dark in here. She's got decent night vision and Martyn probably does too. Glowing eyes do help with that. She's got dirt coating most of her body. Martyn's patting more into place and really going off on a long-winded spiel. Yeah, he does that. Cleo rests with one hand on her stomach and lets him talk. Martyn just wants someone to talk to and she just wants to touch the loamy black soil outside the perimeter. They have to do this together or not at all.

"-enough foreshadowing, d'you think?" Martyn makes a vague swirl with his hand. "I mean, when I look at the storyboards, it seems a little bathtub-y, but I wanted to have fun with it. I think I can swing it- It's better to have fun."

"Mmhm," she says. "I mean, if you want to avoid info-dumping, tension's always going to be the best fix. The first thing I think of is just… Adding weapons. Or maybe slide the scene somewhere else, like a cliff. Or maybe you have a build or private room the viewers have never seen inside before, so it feels exciting even if it's full of talking."

"There's a thought!"

"Or- or, here's an idea- Give them a solid reason they can't actually leave. It doesn't even have to be physical restraints, right? Maybe one character has an item the other wants. Maybe it's just information. Or someone's hurt? You have that whole treasure-hunting schtick going on, right? Adding a collectible to the mix could amp the stakes."

"Oh, that's good. I like that… Withholding information is killer, dude."

"Not too much, though."

"No, no! It'll be clear well before the end. Hmm. Maybe it just needs a pacing restructure. A little more to draw things out, yeah? I might slip in an extra scene upfront that doesn't look important at the time, but should really tie things together down the road." He sprinkles dirt around her neck, making some stupid drawn-out show of it just because it gets his wings up, apparently. Cleo sticks out their tongue. He laughs, giving the wings a flap. "Ooh, actually- You know that respawn idea I had last Friday? What are your Week 2 thoughts on that?"

"Kill your darlings. Not the character- I mean the scene. Just opt for a near-death experience instead. I think the punch will hit harder."

"What hits harder than a respawn?"

Cleo shrugs, which waterfalls black dirt down their shoulders and across Martyn's skinned knees. "I mean, delays don't do you any good. You'll have dead space anyway because of all that travel time to get back to the main scene. Remember your Limited Life ending with the lava buckets? Just work around it. Set it up so you can stay around, even if you're injured. Respawns feel like cheating anyway- I mean, they refresh you back to full energy. It's a little cheap."

Martyn exhales. It leaves him like a swirl. "Hmm… Yeah, I can see that."

"Just think about it, at least. You don't have to throw the scene out."

"Yeah, I know. I do see your point. Spawn is so far away." He takes the spilled dirt and pats it into place again, pressing on the wrinkles until the stuff is sealed against her like a freshly frosted chocolate cake. "The thing is, I feel like I'm getting nowhere with the storyboards. I think I need to get into the dialogue. Maybe do some test drafts. A few bullet points, at least. I'll run them by you again next week and we can do a pros and cons list."

"Mmhm!"

That seems to satisfy him. See, Martyn likes to talk through plot points without spilling spoilers to the people he actually roleplays with. And he's always hungry. These are the two most important facts you need to know about Martyn, at least as far as Cleo and the gemstone cave are concerned. See, so long as they only allofeed him snippets at a time, he'll patiently wait until she's run out of souls to share before he finally takes her out. Even when she's well down in the depths of phantom hour, he'll let her push the boundary. Maybe farther than he should. Throw a soul in front of a phantom and you'll really wreck their aggro.

It's a balance of carrots and sticks. It's yin and yang. It's push and pull. Teamwork is essential. She never would've managed to carve out this secret cave without Martyn's wings lifting her past the bullet path moat or into the ceiling tunnel. Scott can poke around all he wants, but unless he thinks to look up, he's never going to find her hideaway.

The thing is, Martyn can whisk his help away any time he likes. At any time. He didn't withdraw when Double Life split them apart, though Cleo firmly told him chatting about Double Life was off the table the first time he opened his mouth. The third time, maybe. Sure, he whined and groveled about roleplay decompression for a bit (for "the" bit?), but she gave him a cornflower from her hair that he can keep in Between to match the one she gave him on the server. That's all the "We're okay; it's just a game" aftercare he really wanted. He eased up.

He never wore it, though, even though it was the start of the 100-day block back then, which is… confusing. She dropped by his and Jimmy's place once for a game night though, and there it was… in a vase. And honestly, it doesn't get any more clear than that: Thanks for the gift! Your friendship's important to me, but I reject your courtship. I'll keep it as a memento to show there's nothing weird between us, but I'm not wearing this. I don't want you to get the wrong idea.

Martyn's full of wrong ideas. He does what he thinks is "funny." That's the polite way to put it. And since hanging out with Martyn in the caves is really just a business transaction, she should probably make an effort to be polite.

"What's so funny?" he asks, looking up from her dirt-covered arm.

"Bad joke."

"Share or it didn't happen."

Cleo blinks up, his form in shadow apart from the lapis-like glow of his eyes. "I gave you a flower a while back. During Double Life."

"Yeah?"

"You never wore it, but I saw it in your room. Just thought it was funny to interpret that as you saying 'I don't want Cleo to get the wrong idea' when you're full of wrong-"

"Whoa, whoa," he says, throwing his hands in the air. Cleo snorts and Martyn tsk-tsks, thwacking his tail against the dirt. "And this when I'm putting dirt on you."

"I do appreciate that, yeah."

He slaps the next clump down hard. Cleo jolts, but the glitter in his eyes tells them straight away that he's not really mad. "I can't believe that's what you think of me even in your private thoughts. And after all this time!"

"I'm petty, rude, and I commit to the bit. I'm not sure why you're surprised."

"I'm not."

[Full chapter on AO3 - Link at top]

[bitchboynoy]

This was the first draft of franky and loids visit to the bdsm club.

The version I have now is more in character. I don’t think Loid would be this snobbish about sex, I don’t think franky could trick Loid into going anywhere, Europe doesn’t have us tipping culture, etc.

But! I had a lot of fun writing this so I wanted to share anyway

Franky and Loid play off of each other really well and are really fun to write. In the future I’d like to write them platonically having sex bc idk I think it would be funny 🤷

Enjoy!

Loid regrets every scrap of trust he’s even given Franky as he opens to the doors of what can only be a sex club. Loid had guessed the address was going to take him to the seedier part of town but Franky had laughed it off with a “Hey trust me, a change of pace will be nice!”

His casual tone had Loid hoping that perhaps it was just a hole-in-the-wall bar with some unpleasant neighbors but he now recognizes that the thought was foolishly optimistic. Apparently so was his thought that he was only entering a sex club as he gives the bouncer the passphrase and Franky’s name and he is led to a private table overlooking the center of the club.

This place must be a fetish sex club if the unusual devices, elaborate knots, and shiny leather are anything to go by. Loid gives the space a passing glance to ensure there are no threats and focuses intently on not making eye contact with the occasional curious glance his stiff posture gets.

He arrives at the table Franky had reserved and gives the waitress a polite nod of thanks as he goes to sit down. She stays and looks at him expectantly until he realizes she is expecting a tip and he quickly pulls out a wallet and gives her apparently the appropriate amount of dalcs.

“Oh good, you made it.” Franky says as Loid sits down primly, crossing his legs and shutting his eyes so he won’t glare at Franky as the other man attempts (poorly) to hide his amusement at Loid’s flustered interaction with the waitress.

“Franky, why the fuck are we here?” Loid asked, deciding that hiding his glare is a politeness Franky does not currently deserve.

“What do you mean?” Franky says with an affected air of casualness. “I thought a change of pace would be nice! Don’t you get tired of meeting at the same three places?”

Loid crosses his arms and stares evenly at Franky. The silent treatment is a sure-fire way to wear him down. It’s usually better to let Franky explain himself instead of succumbing to his goading.

“Fine, fine” Franky starts, not letting Loid’s silent treatment stretch out long. “I honestly wasn’t even sure if you would show up.”

Loid’s face shifts with affront at the insult to his professionalism. He shifts to smooth it out but Franky catches the expression before it’s concealed.

“No offense!” Franky continues “I know you would do anything for your mission which I’m serious about the change of pace!”

Franky looks at him expectantly as he gestures to the activities below them. Loid is lost so he nods for Franky to keep going.

“Look,” Frankie says, “I’m probably the closest thing you have to a friend and I’m honestly a little worried about you.”

The concern would almost be touching if Loid weren’t so confused and they weren’t in a fucking sex club.

“WISE is working you to the bone and you’ve been managing so far but it’s only a matter of time before something gives and when it does someone is going to get seriously hurt and you’ll be lucky if it isn’t you.”

Loid tips his head to concede the point. Since Operation Strix started there has scarcely been a moment where he isn't Twilight the superspy or head of the Forger household. Even his sparse freetime is spent understanding Anya’s TV shows, reading up on parenting and learning new recipes. He can’t recall the last time he wasn’t actively doing his job or holding up a front.

“So why are we here?” Loid asks, Franky’s explanation not connecting with their location.

“You need to find a way to let go, if you don’t you’re going to explode.” Franky pantomimes Loid’s explosion with his hands and little booming noises. “This is just one option of many.”

Franky points to a leather-clad woman spanking the man spread across her lap with a flogger. Loid quickly looks away as the man lets out what he can assume is a breathy moan but it is lost in the noise of the crowd and the music.

“Is that the only reason you brought me here? No new intel or secret sources?” Loid asks, not bothering to hide his frustration. “No secret plots that would absolutely require me being here?”

“Well no, but I figured this-” Franky gestures around them and Loid knows better than to look this time. “-would kickstart your imagination, if only to help you think of something else that would help.”

Franky coughs and Loid knows him well enough to recognize he’s hiding snicker. Loid gives him a pointed look.

“I also thought it would be funny.” Franky admits before continuing. “I’m serious though! You need to find an outlet to relax!”

“Is that all?” Loid asks, straightening his posture. Franky looks disappointed but nods.

“Thank you for your concern, but I can take care of myself.” Loid stands up and buttons his suit jacket. “Good night Franky, let’s not do this again.”

Loid does not storm out because he is an adult with self-control but he does firmly reject another waitress’s offer of assistance with more harshness than necessary. Loid’s damned if he spends another fucking cent in this place and he’s not getting tricked again, by Franky or anyone else.

[anonofseasons]

Maybe it's due to not having spoons (fibro and the heat are getting to me bad), but my mood is up and down, and my feelings about Seasons are going up and down with it?

I'm like, "Oh this part is cute and I'm excited to share it!" and "Cal, shut up, please, you're being annoying. Keep it to yourself!" No one has said I'm being annoying. I just get super self-conscious now, bc... history of being told I'm annoying. Also, it's rather recent that I'd tell my now-ex that I was excited about something - that I'd finished a first draft or gotten a map drawn - and she'd respond with stuff like, "Did you see the witch Bath and Body Works diffuser?" (I had to beg her to congratulate me. I would do so for her when she had accomplishments, but mine? Meaningless.) Back to Seasons, though. I've been anxious that it's too long. I'm not out to set some arbitrary word count limit here. I mean "Was this really necessary, or did you just get too self-indulgent, and now you have too many loose ends to tie up?" (This is exacerbated by my writing out of order and fearing I'll forget something by the end.) That's just my brain, there. Worried that I was excessive and have made a mess, rather than a coherent story. I'm also worried that I sound so egotistical now that I'm finding joy in talking about my writing/characters. (This ties in with the first issue, that I should "shut up" haha...) I had such a weird process for years. I enjoyed the process of creation, but I... thought I was shitting out garbage. Characters, writing style, story, everything. Someone once told me years ago that I wrote nothing but man babies, and someone else later said the same thing. Second person also said my writing style induced their synesthesia so they couldn't stand to read my stuff. There have been other things, those are just some examples. It's so painful. I don't feel like I can become a better author if I don't have helpful criticism, but I've certainly had the destructive stuff launched at me. I'm still working on myself. I was only 13 months ago I got self-conscious and decided to stop sharing any of my writing publicly, so I locked up everything on AO3 in a private collection, I deleted or hid everything on google docs and other sites. And I struggled to finish Rascal (which I posted the final chapter just a few weeks before that and then ended up locking it up, haha), and now I'm struggling a bit with Seasons. I don't always struggle with ending stories, but... sometimes I do, and it definitely sinks my mood. I'm lucky in that some people have found my writing and been supportive. I'd be fucked if I didn't have @yume-x-hanabi being so supportive and nonjudgmental. She's a good writing buddy. And I have another friend who also just checks out my writing despite meeting her through fandom as well, even picked up Seasons despite the heavy content. ;A; That's a blessing. But sometimes I'm still working on saying, "No, I do love myself and these things. It doesn't matter what other people have said. They're a few people. They were mean. They don't define you or your work." Still, it sneaks up on me and leaves me scared that I have more work ahead. That I need to get better and better now, because if I want a career out of this, I'm going to have to bust my ass. And it's funny... I do enjoy the process of writing, I love building characters and writing stories and creating lore. I just wish after it was all done, I wasn't fearful that I just hot-glued a bunch of steaming shit together, and I refuse to see it...? XD; (Sorry that's a disgusting mental image, but... it wouldn't hold together, is my point.) Anyway, sorry if you read this for rambling so much. It's kind of negative. I gotta cheer up. ;A;

[sarah-sandwich]

oh okay now i’m curious about deadpool

hi Sarah!!🌸 that one repost made me wondering, maybe you can share few fics of that specific deadpool that you love the most? because boy that story is so true!😫 i spent some time looking for those fics and maybe got discouraged a little too soon because of how many of kinda typical ones i got to go through? there’s nothing wrong with them of course, it’s just… not my thing? and it makes finding my thing hella hard?:D

curious to see more of your perspective on him! maybe you even have some fav fanart or fanvid? i’d be happy to hear (and see:D) it all! lots of love, your anon🌷

Hello dear darling anon! Sorry this took so long to get to! I started going through my spideypool bookmarks and uhh then I started re-reading the fics lol my bad I have no excuse now. I wrote the majority of this a week ago and then saved it to my drafts and... well here we are. You deserve better 😔

If you want to know my take on deadpool then I'm obligated to rec my own fic first Paradise (spread out with a butter knife) which perhaps if you're here you've already read, but it's the closest representation I have of the deadpool that lives in my head. Granted this was my first time writing him and it's fairly Peter-centric but I still like him. On the tin it's a soulmate au but it's actually about forgiveness and love (all the kinds of love).

Wade is my funny little guy with self-esteem issues like woah hidden under a thick layer of humorous deflection, weaponized annoyance, and of course a sense of self-aggrandization that fluctuates wildly between ironic and completely utterly serious. He's smart and he's observant and he's disabled. He's sensitive about his psychosis even though he flaunts it around and acts like he's not. For the most part, he couldn't care less what people say about it. He made fun of it first, he played up the crazy act first, he made them uncomfortable first so it doesn't hurt. But if someone he cares about, someone he trusts and looks up to makes light of it or condemns him for it then that cuts deep.

His whole thing is about look at the mouth not the hands. He motor-mouths and overshares. He's loud and abrasive. He acts stupid and careless and it's all to get you to judge him based on what he displays without ever looking any deeper. Some of it is genuinely his personality but a lot of it he hams up to keep anyone from getting too close. He's intensely private but you'd never know it at first glance and that's how he likes it... usually. He comes at everything sideways. He speaks his own language in grand gestures and backwards truths and he doesn't expect anyone to understand what he's trying to say and part of him doesn't want anyone to understand so he's shocked stupid whenever someone does and then has to retreat and take time to process (usually this is accomplished by distracting himself until he doesn't feel so freaked out. He doesn't like... actually reflect hah)

He's a domestic housewife at heart. He likes fighting. He's good at it and it makes money and it's an outlet for all the negative crap crowding his head and it's a chance to get out and meet people even if it's the worst possible way to go about meeting people (he's a social little butterfly) but he also wants someone to come home to and to dote on even though he doesn't think that's in the stars for him. Having someone like that means being vulnerable. It means actually communicating what he's feeling and showing his forever damaged skin and trusting them not to run away screaming. He knows he's flawed both inside and out and he doesn't expect anyone to see those flaws and love him anyway. Besides, what if they do and he pours his whole heart and soul into someone only for them to die and leave him on his own again?

Anyway that's my silly little guy. Here are some recs!

For art, story, and characterization I cannot recommend @ask-spiderpool enough! Click here to start at the beginning when Wade and Peter are newly roomied, newly divorced (Wade), and newly de-Gwened :( (Peter). There's a whole civil war arc that’s way better than the half-assed attempt the mcu made and less, uh, overwhelming than the comics civil war. It’s not all war! They go to the bahamas, they make tons of jokes and japes, they play with action figures--it’s the whole kit and caboodle! There are some crossovers between different ask blogs where their characters make appearances on ask-spiderpool and Wade and Peter guest star on the corresponding ask blog. It's really cool. But the coolest thing is how Peter and Wade go through so much character development it's so so so so satisfying. (pro tip: the arrows to get to the next page are in the left menu pane next to the logo)

Fic Recs!

I was going to list a bunch out but now I realize nearly all of my spideypool favs are Peter-centric 😭 Instead, here are my spideypool bookmarks. There aren’t a lot bc I can’t read fic and write my own at the same time and writing usually wins lol

Some call-outs:

Off the Record by crookedswingset - Explicit! but waaaayyyyy more plot than porn. Very Peter-centric but Wade is characterized so so so so well. He’s smart but in a way that leaves people guessing what the heck he’s doing (classic) and he cares so much about both Spidey and Peter-- and oh yeah he’s got no clue they’re the same person because everyone thinks Harry Osborn is Spider-Man. Throw in some murder, bad parenting, and a staggering number of POV characters and you’ve got yourself an absolute banger of a fic. If memory serves, the sequel is more focused on spideypool but man oh man they’re both amazing

Untethered by Vixen13 - Explicit! Listen listen listen this is the first fic I think of anytime I think of spideypool. It’s so far AU that Vixen could publish it as a novel if they change the character names and it’s good enough that I have to wonder why they heck they haven’t. Wade is so complex and layered and Peter is an angry bean who has so much to learn and grows so so so much guh we love to see it. Feat. Parent!Wade, Ruler!Wade, Insecure!Wade, Tender-loving!Wade, and oh yeah also dragons 🤩

It Had To Be You by fancastical - Teen! This is one that I reread instead of answering this ask haha It’s so fun and light-hearted and *sigh* Peter-centric but Wade is a delightful enigma and he’s so good to Peter even though Peter is a troll.

Who has good Wade-centric fics to share?? Apparently I could use some more lol

[hacked-by-jake]

So, I have this thing that I'm never going to fully write so I will share the basics with you here 🙃

_Scenario_

The moment Jake told MC the FBI were the ones pursuing him something shifted inside of them. Not only because it had to do with the deepest secret they had, but because it may be their fault Jake, the person they fell in love with, was in this tricky situation.

MC, former member of the FBI, also a "computer genius" as they called them, a life that was supposed to be left behind them, now it's staring them in the face in the worst possible way. If Jake was the one that infiltrated their system all those years ago then it was their fault he's still being pursued, as they are the person that started all of this, just before they decided it was too much and left the organization, with a possibility of coming back, a possibility they never considered... until now.

Jake was trapped in that mine, FBI agents all over the place, there was no way he would be able to escape that, and it was, again, their fault, because Jake just did that so they wouldn't be in danger, and now he was in the worst possible situation.

So, they made a choice, a choice that would make them lose the only person they ever cared about, but then again, if it would mean Jake would potentially be free, it would be worth it, didn't even need to second guess. MC's mind was made up. They would save Jake even if it would mean lose their own freedom.

-

They sent a quick message and went on their way.

It was impossible to miss, full of poloce cars, helicopters, all those blinking lights on the distance, made MC's insides turn, they hated this, but it was something that needed to be done, and they were determined to do so.

As they got there a familiar face got close to them

"Why are you here kid?" Asked the chief when he was close enough to be heard.

"I've been monitoring everything since I left, and I figured I should be present to, finish what I started in a way" lied MC, it never even crossed their mind to get back into that business of them, but Jake needed them, and that was the best answer for what was going to come.

"I'm glad you still have that sense of responsibility, come, that hacker free days are numbered, not even days, hours" MC flinched at the thought, thankfully chief didn't notice or just didn't care.

Some time passed, MC heard of Hannah being close, but they had nothing to do with her, as far as the agents known, so getting close to her would be too suspicious, then they saw, how some of the agents were dragging someone from the mine, it wasn't Richy so that only means one thing. Jake was unable to escape, they got him.

Never have MC been more grateful of their past in that organization where none of the memories where pleasant, but this time they would be able to do good, for a change.

They were terrified of Jake's reaction, but hopefully they would be able to explain, so he wouldn't think they betrayed him in any way, but given the circumstances, that was unlikely. At least, after hours of discussion with the "big heads" of the organization they were able to reach a settlement in exchange for Jake's freedom, sort of, but that's something MC and Jake needed to discuss in private. Assuming he'll be willing to talk to them.. and to trust them again.

So they set the pace to Jake's cell, hoping for the best, but expecting the worst.

(This was half of the draft I have, not even the slightest bit edited, hopefully it made sense? 😅 I just thought it was sad that it will never see the light of day so here it is, kinda)

Oh my - Anon! This is an incredible idea and story line! It's so creative and good! Amazing work, really!

I always thought about how a good connection between the FBI and MC and a former or not former cooperation could look like but I unfortunately never came up with anything suitable. But this idea is really fantastic and so exciting!

The end of episode 10 really fits incredibly well to use this scenario in which MC once worked at the FBI, I love it.

And don’t worry, even if it’s not overworked, it’s good and it all makes sense! It would be a pity if this idea had never come to light and maybe you decide to write it at some point. I would be very happy. And even if not, I am still very grateful that you shared it with me because it is really an incredibly good and interesting headcanon!

Seriously, I’m absolutely amazed about the idea, I love it! Great work and great idea! *-*

[thezolblade]

Anon from the fic! Wow!!!!!!!!! That outline!!!!!! Do you want to share any more hints about those three branches?

Sure! (This is partly making up more details as I go along, which means making progress with the draft.) Below the cut for spoilers:

So I've got three routes following after Reckoning now - see also that last ask. After Jon attacks Tim and scares Martin into cooperating again:

Retaliation. Sasha and Tim burn down the Institute (with Leitner's help). Jon's hurt by the archive's destruction, but he survives, at the others' mercy.

Relocation. Martin talks Jon into asking Elias to transfer them both to one of the Institute's sister organizations, citing irreconcilable differences with the rest of the team. (They know at that point that they're also temples to Beholding, and hope they'll be granted this even if they can't quit.) Since this is roughly at the point in the timeline when Jonah wanted to put some distance between himself and Jon to avoid being compelled (iirc he mentioned that he'd have gone on a trip if he hadn't been arrested), he ends up sending them to open a second branch of the Magnus Institute in Edinburgh, close to its original site.

Respectable fears. Jon takes the Institute from Jonah, and carries on maintaining the Archives while running the whole organisation. He keeps Martin as his personal assistant, and gets more calculated in manipulating him without breaking him, fending off numb depression by asking him to research enemies that they can fight to save lives, and making the rules more structured in private. Meanwhile, he sends Tim to investigate the Unknowing, and tries to decide whether he'll be too dangerous to keep hold of long term. When Sasha's ready to give up on changing things, he offers her a consultancy role, so that she can stay on his payroll, but spend her time on projects at other organizations, and she takes that as the best deal she can get.

Hints about the other routes, hmm...

Reconciliation: The first night, when Jon realizes he may have fucked up beyond anything that Martin will put up with for long, his first reaction, instead of figuring out some brilliant way of handling that, is to retreat to his room for a cigarette. Martin waits on the sofa, wishing he hadn't admitted that he doesn't like being shouted at or shoved around, because now he's getting the silent treatment, and it's only a matter of time before he's kicked out... Until he hears Jon light a second cigarette, and realizes he ought to go talk to him, or he might just hide and chain smoke all night.

Subjugation: Here's a bit of dialogue from the first night. A lot of conversations go a slightly different direction in my drafts than in the initial notes, and sometimes unused lines come up again later, so this level of detail is the most subject to change, but it might be an interesting read anyway:

Martin could feel himself blushing hard enough that the tips of his ears were burning. "If I'd ever imagined that we had a chance, I wouldn't have wanted our first time to go this way. It's late, and we were both tired and upset going into this, a-and I'm glad I've cheered you up, but I guess it doesn't feel like we're going about things the right way to make it last, or make it special."

"What would you like to do, to make it special?" Jon's tone was light and faintly mocking.

Martin took a second to collect his thoughts, treating it as a serious question. It wasn't as if he stood to lose anything by making a few suggestions.

"Why don't we get ourselves hot drinks, and cuddle on the sofa until we're ready to fall asleep? Then maybe tomorrow, we could talk about our likes and dislikes. You know, books, music, TV, food, all that sort of thing, a-as well as sex. How does that sound?" Martin tried to smile as he waited for an answer. The silence stretched on, and he couldn't help but get psyched out. "Uh, shall I go make us some tea?"

"Not yet."

"Oh?"

"Take off your clothes. I haven't even seen you yet."

Martin hesitated, but Jon looked quite intent on doing this now.

"Oh, okay." Martin clenched his fingers in his t-shirt, then glanced at the bags he'd left next to the bed. "If we're going to be up for a while longer, why don't I grab my phone and put some music on? That could be, ah, relaxing."

"I don't need mood music. I need to know what you're capable of."

"...Oh." Martin heard his own voice go quiet, and closed his eyes for a moment, trying to pull himself together. Jon was making it fairly clear that he didn't care about setting him at ease, and he still wasn't in the mood to take no for an answer. Hadn't he better play along before he lashed out again?