#ok I'll explain for once bear with me

[avid-adoxography]

maybe..,. maybe it's time I finally add Ten Piedad to my f/os list.

But watch out.

[sunshiinebeetle]

Plural Mars Analysis

This is just chapter 1 cause it's kind of late- let me know if you want more!! I have many thoughts on chapter 2 and 3 so far :]

I'll be posting pages of the comic for readability, but PLEASEEEE read it HERE!! I leave several pages out and it'd be really sad not to support the original.

It’s important to note here how the bunny plush very quickly switches from aggressive to hurt and scared. The aggression is a defense mechanism, but not one that Mars wants to use. It comes from fear of breaking their “normal”. Once it’s shown that Laika won’t be easily scared off, it stops and runs away. Akin to an opossum (which have a very weak bite strength) flashing its teeth. I believe that the bunny was never going to hit Laika, at least not very hard (especially when later it’s shown that Mars has extreme reactions to the idea of hurting people).

Ok very important 2 pages, cause SYMBOLISM!! Willow has mentioned before that they packed a lot of symbolism and hidden clues into Laika’s, especially involving Mars’ backstory in chapter 1. The motif of bunny, kitty, teddy is shown on these two pages, the second is the “intro” page for Mars. It’s not lost on me that these three plushies are in the debut shot. They’re a deep representation of them! This will be elaborated on later, but for now I’m going to break Mars down into 3 alters. Bunny (timid, flight response), Kitty (neutral/happy, protected from those emotions), and Teddy (serious, fight/fawn response). I’ll be referring to them by these names to keep the confusion to a minimum.

Here we see Teddy Mars holding the bunny plush (representing Bunny Mars) and once again trying to intimidate Laika into going away. This is a weaker attempt, and shows Teddy’s fawn response as well- they don’t want to offend Laika so they use polite language, but still ask a question that will help them understand how best to protect the system. They don’t drop their stars until Laika displays that she’s not a threat. Notice what Laika is saying and how Mars’ reaction shifts entirely…

This is because Bunny switches in! Teddy is still co-fronting (as they’re prone to do) to keep an eye on things, but generally lets Bunny lead the conversation. Right away you’ll notice that Mars’ claws go away. Teddy’s claws are often extended because they’re on edge and protective, but Bunny has softer paws (and a complex about hurting things). Teddy’s claws are out when they cast the magic because Bunny doesn’t use magic intentionally. Bunny seeks comfort from Laika as soon as they know she’s safe.

Arguably there’s a hint of Kitty Mars in here too, especially on the second page. Bunny’s body language is often very closed off and small, but when Mars offers to show Laika their room and toys, their posture opens up and their tone shifts!

During the first page Mars is very blended between Bunny and Kitty. This is to emotionally protect Mars as they walk past all the portraits of their past. I’ll explain more later, but Kitty Mars is walled off emotionally from (at least some of) their trauma, while Bunny bears the guilt for it. You can see them both emote during the conversation- up until Kitty blends in, Mars doesn’t really use any enthusiasm in their dialogue. Literally zero exclamation points. But between the two “oh!”s, Kitty peeks through in the conversation :]

Then there’s a bit of wind as Bunny talks more, subconsciously using their powers due to their melancholy. The mood gets more tense as they breach a painful topic.

Mars avoids the question, shutting down emotionally… Kitty is likely booted from the front due to the traumatic nature of the topic. This coincides with their arrival at Mars’ room, which is perhaps also a trigger for Kitty to leave. The lightheartedness from their headmate disappears and leaves Bunny feeling hurt.

This is the first time we see Bunny properly shut down. They try to confide in Laika about their guilt and seek comfort, but she doesn’t quite get it… Good effort though!! Bunny’s routine and mental state at this point is a form of self punishment. They can’t leave because they haven’t hurt enough to pay for it. But at the same time they desperately don’t want to be alone. They’d had fun meeting Laika, but since she can’t stay (that would be “selfish”) and Mars can’t leave (that would be “disobedient” and “too good for them”), they just get even more hurt when Laika gives them a non-solution that just reminds them of their loneliness. The reality dawning on them feels crushing.

Bunny’s subconscious magic spikes again. This provides a solution to their conundrum- it’s not their choice, but authority’s. They won’t have to tell Laika to leave, which would break their heart, playtime is simply over. Teddy comes back to help Bunny cope and not break down- their speech becomes more clipped and formal, and their expression neutralizes (except for when it cracks, showing Bunny’s feelings). Teddy’s fawn response also shows, asking Laika politely to do the same as them. BIG ol trauma response. Clearly this was the way that Mars survived every scary encounter before. It’s trained, and likely why Teddy split in the first place.

Teddy is polite again, and using their magic intentionally to make the encounter run smoothly. They keep giving Laika instructions so that nothing goes wrong. This behavior implies that they were punished over very small things, even hesitation.

More trauma responses!! Mars looks almost bored here, but it’s actually Teddy’s trained neutral expression. You can’t get yelled at for feeling things if you’re feeling nothing! Teddy is maintaining this to mask Bunny’s fear of being around their parents, but it’s a hard thing to do. As tension gets higher, Bunny’s expressions show through and they start shaking.

Bunny is resigned to riding out this encounter, but Laika can’t stand for it. She interrupts, which terrifies Teddy. She’s way out of line in their mind, and they don’t want anyone to get punished when they can simply take the hurt. Teddy snaps at Laika, using their powers on accident for once. When Laika gets hurt by this, Bunny gets scared for two reasons. 1. They hurt someone, a severe trigger for Bunny. 2. It wasn’t Bunny controlling the body in a situation where they were otherwise the main pilot. This is an objectively terrifying thing to happen, and there’s often a lot of emotional conflict about this in systems who don’t know what’s going on.

Bunny is triggered and shuts down once again. Teddy directs the magic to get Laika out of there and away from Bunny to help them calm down. The earrings doll tries to grab Laika, while the tie doll swipes at her; this implies that they were the more violent and impulsive of the two. Additionally, the tie doll hurting the earrings doll was likely an allusion to domestic abuse between Mars’ parents. However, both were abusive to Mars in their own ways.

Laika unintentionally invokes the royalty/fairy tale symbolism, which speaks to Bunny and cuts through their shutdown. Since their reality hurts so much for them, they find everything much easier to process in stories.

You could see this as Bunny breaking down, but I think it’s Teddy too. Throughout this chapter, Teddy has been nearby suppressing everyone’s emotional reactions to protect them. But now they give into the hurt and the guilt and the loneliness and finally let themself AND Bunny express how they feel. It’s only now that they accept that vulnerability that they can drop their intentional disguise of everything in town. They hid everything to keep Kitty and Bunny happy, to keep them safe. But now that there’s someone else to protect them, they let themself be a scared kid and all of their hard work crumbles under the stress of keeping everything together. (At the beginning of this chapter when Mars is introduced, Teddy was playing with Bunny to keep them happy and distracted. Bunny feels lonely despite their headmates company and is prone to spiraling when they feel bad, so part of Teddy’s job is to entertain them to keep the illusion of stability.) Anyways that's all for now :3 I'll probably do the rest of the comic later. Keep in mind that everything I say here is just my interpretation and I could definitely be wrong! Though it'd be fun to see how accurate I am hehe

obligatory @laikascomet tag <3 yes i'm the same guy who mentioned it on stream :]

[h1biscusgal]

ASKS IN A BUNDLE BC I'M TIRED : PART 2

OH MY GOD I MISS EACH ONE OF YOU I SWEARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR, MWAH TO YOU ALL I ADORE U SO MUCH.

AND THANK YOU MY DARL, i'm fine so far ml and im so sorry i could not post, had my phone away and i'm on my laptop rn, but thanks sm for asking you're so sweet omg, i feel like i literally won in life having ppl care for me IM GIGGLING TEE HEE.

ok so, let me explain this metaphor, once you CLAIM they aren't sick, there is not one part of your mind that will see it as SICK, which in short, means none of this sickness existed once you banish it.

it's so hard to explain bear with me- BUT, your mind sees something, you'll persist, and it shows up, that's the thing, there's no "oh what if in my other reality-" that's shifting for a reason baby, once you set your foot on the reality you want it stays that way, and everything follows through.

ALRIGHT SO, hypnagogia is not forced, nor is it "trying to reach there", you simply always are in that state before you sleep without even knowing, hypnagogia is usually something that happens unaware when you DRIFT off to sleep, simply state and understand that no matter whatever you do, you STILL enter it, you just gotta stay aware of it and that's simply easy, i listed a HUGE range of methods ppl do to keep awake when they are trying for the hypnagogia, it's in my masterlist post ab the hypnagogia. but either way! if you WAIT on GOING IN THE HYPNAGOGIA, you're actually drifting further away from it, because you're keeping yourself awake further more or boring yourself which leads to sleeping, ACCEPT IT YOU'LL ENTER AND JUST LAY BACK AND WATCH, try the forearm method too, it's when you raise your forearm and if you sleep it'll wake you up when it falls.

OFC YOU CAN BE MY ANON, now, for racing thoughts, you can meditate beforehand if you like, OR! let the thoughts come and just observe them until it quietens down and goes blank, or i like to actually focus on somewhere on the ceiling first before trying and just looking at it until i feel everything drift off.

GIRLY THAT WAS A SHIFT LMFAO.

OR! it could be a false dream that happens a lot, it's when your mind plays the scenario so well, when something like this happens and you're not sure, ground yourself to your surroundings, affirm in your DR tense "my name's ---" "i'm --- years old." and so on and on, use five senses, so that even if it is a false dream, you trick your mind into shifting you there, but seriously this sounds A LOT like a shift.

a place where your awareness is not bound to any body, nor is it bound to any material, a part of you that is the simplest form, you usually enter it when sleeping that's why you don't feel your body when you sleep, nor are you aware of it.

FUCK HWUEGUAQIWJWHE Y'ALL WHEN I TELL U TEE HEE THIS SHIT IS REALLLLL, AND BTW THE WHITE LIGHT IS SO REAL??? I HAD IT THE FIRST TIME TOO LIKE I WAS "hol the fuck up if it's my brother again with the flashlight ill whoop his ass", only when i woke up and saw no one, i looked in my brother's room and mf was fast asleep, i was SO confused then remembered, y'all i promise it's so fucking easy.

YES DARL.

MWAH ASK ME ANYTHING LOVES.

don't wait on the "movement", BE the movement, don't see it? "fuck it if i don't see it? i'll show you the movement."

EMBODY, it's not about confidence, it's actually about NOT GIVING A SINGLE FUCK bc you KNOW you can do it, if you keep waiting for someone to get you water, no one will know when will they come back, but if you get the water yoursef? you know exactly how much time you need.

JDEWFGRHEWJQKLERENJ CONGRATS BBY MWAH.

OFCCCC U CAN, I KNOW YOU WILL ENTER BTW

OFCCCC, i think i shared it somewhere but here u go darl:

I always wake up in the void.

My subconscious randomly wakes me up in the void in the middle of the night.

The void is mine.

I am already the void.

No matter what i do, i still wake up in the void.

My subconscious knows how to enter the void.

My subconscious already wakes me up in the void anytime i want.

I don’t need to believe the void, i always wake up in it and that’s a fact.

My breathing is regular when entering the void.

All resistance dissolves now — I am open and receptive.

My subconscious mind is a powerful magnet for miracles.

Old beliefs fade away. My new reality is already here.

I am free from fear, doubt, and delay. I transcend them effortlessly.

I choose the new version of me, and it instantly becomes real.

I was born to enter the Void. It's who I am.

The Void is my natural state — familiar, safe, and instant.

I have unshakable confidence in the Void. It’s always mine.

I am the Void. I become it instantly.

The more I trust, the faster it happens. I trust fully now.

Entering the Void is easy, normal, and guaranteed for me.

I already know how to enter. My subconscious does it perfectly.

I don’t need effort. I just choose — and I’m there.

Every version of me already knows how to enter — and I shift to that version now.

If I fall asleep, I instantly wake up in the Void.

My subconscious never forgets — I always wake in the Void.

Sleep is not a block — it’s a gateway for my void.

The Void meets me the moment I drift off.

I trust my subconscious to shift me perfectly, every single time.

My body sleeps, but my awareness enters the Void.

Even if I forget — my subconscious always remembers.

I automatically wake up in the Void, even if I don’t try.

The Void calls me back in my sleep — and I answer every time.

I enter the Void whenever I want — instantly and easily.

I don’t need to try. I just decide, and it happens.

Entering the Void is as easy as breathing.

I command the Void — it obeys me.

The doorway is always open. I just walk through.

I don’t chase the Void. It flows to me.

Every second is a new chance — I can enter now, and now, and now.

The Void is one breath away — and I’m there.

I shift realities just by intending. I am that powerful.

Doubt has no power over me. It fades into nothing. I release all resistance. I am open, relaxed, and ready.

Fear is just noise. I rise above it effortlessly.

I am worthy of the Void. I deserve it fully and completely.

All my old beliefs dissolve — the truth is, I can always enter.

Nothing stops me. No method, no block, no delay.

There is no “how.” There is only now.

I transcend fear, effort, and logic — I just shift. I’m beyond waiting. I decide, and I arrive.

I know the Void is real — because I’ve already been there.

I don’t need proof. My knowing is unbreakable.

I’ve already entered, and I can do it again, now.

I trust myself. I trust the Void. I trust the process.

My knowing creates my reality.

The more I trust, the faster I shift.

I don’t need to believe — I know.

My inner world shapes everything. I choose truth over doubt.

In the Void, everything is instant. I manifest effortlessly while in the Void.

I heal, shift, and transform through the Void.

The Void listens to my every thought and gives instantly. My dream life is always just one Void moment away. In the Void, I become my highest self. The Void is my blank canvas — I create without limit. All outcomes bend to my will in the Void. I remain perfectly still — my body relaxes deeply and naturally.

My heartbeat only grounds me deeper into the Void.

Fast breathing is just energy moving — I allow it and let it pass.

Every sensation is proof I’m close — I welcome it fully. I am calm, still, and in total control.

My body knows how to relax — and it does so easily now.

Every twitch or movement melts into stillness.

My body becomes weightless — I float into the Void. I don’t resist sensations — I observe and allow them to pass.

My nervous system adapts — stillness becomes easy.

Distractions no longer reach me — I stay deeply focused. My mind clears instantly when I choose to enter the Void. I don’t chase thoughts — I simply return to stillness. Thoughts float by like clouds — I remain the sky. Focus comes easily. I’m fully tuned into the Void. I ignore all noise — internal or external. Silence finds me, no matter what’s happening. I have full control over my attention. Every moment I refocus makes the Void stronger. I remain centered, no matter what tries to pull me away.

Boredom is just ego leaving the body — I welcome the silence. I am patient, powerful, and fully present. Waiting is no longer necessary — the Void is always now. Every second brings me closer — I trust the process fully. There’s nothing to chase — the Void finds me when I relax. I let go of time — I exist only in the now. Frustration fades the moment I surrender. Boredom is just the doorway — I walk through it calmly. I trust the stillness — it leads me to everything I desire. I’m always closer than I think — I keep going with ease.

I never give up — my success is guaranteed.

I always follow through — the Void rewards my persistence.

I’ve already committed — nothing stops me now.

Even when I feel stuck, I’m still making progress.

I don’t need to feel it — I know it’s happening.

My subconscious never quits — it keeps going until I arrive.

I trust even when it’s quiet — the shift is happening now.

I was built for this — I always reach the Void.

Giving up is no longer part of me. I’ve already won.

I stick with it because the Void is already mine.

I am the Void.

I embody complete stillness and limitless power.

I was born to enter the Void. It’s second nature to me.

My subconscious and the Void are one.

I am the version of me who enters the Void instantly and easily.

There is nothing to fear. I am safe to surrender.

I let go of control — and the Void welcomes me.

I don’t have to try. I just allow.

Every block dissolves before it reaches me.

Even resistance is proof I’m getting closer.

One thought, and I’m in.

Void now.

I command my awareness to drop — and it does.

When I close my eyes, I drop into the Void.

When I let go, I shift.

Sleep = Void.

Breath = Void.

Blink = Void.

My heartbeat only deepens my entry.

I remain still without effort — like the Void itself.

My thoughts slow down and disappear.

Every movement stops naturally.

Distractions bounce off me.

Boredom is a doorway — I walk through with power.

I flow past discomfort into full silence.

If I fall asleep, I wake in the Void.

If I forget, my subconscious remembers.

Even when I’m not trying — I enter the Void perfectly.

The Void reaches me, even when I think I missed it.

My intention is enough. My subconscious delivers it instantly.

I am the creator of the Void. It answers only to me.

In the Void, I become anything — I manifest everything.

I am already in the Void.

I am beyond time, space, and effort.

All versions of me collapse into this one — the one who always enters.

I quantum jump the moment I decide.

I shift without delay.

Time bends for me.

I reality shift without effort or steps.

The version of me who always shifts — I become them now.

My desired reality flows to me through the Void.

It’s safe to let go. It’s safe to be powerful. It’s safe to disappear into the Void. It’s safe to receive everything I want.

Every time I try to enter the Void, I succeed instantly. My subconscious has been fully trained — it takes over when I try. The moment I intend, my subconscious activates the Void. One decision = full access. Trying is now the trigger. I don’t have to do anything extra — it’s already done.

This subliminal reprogrammed me permanently.

One listen was enough — my Void access is unlocked forever.

I only needed to hear it once — and the effect never fades.

My subconscious remembers this subliminal forever.

Background listening rewrote my reality completely.

This subliminal stays active in my mind — even when I’m not listening.

When I try, I shift.

When I relax, I enter.

When I breathe, I drop in.

The moment I decide, it happens.

My intention alone activates the Void.

Void entry is my default now.

I’m the kind of person who enters the Void instantly.

I was born with this ability.

My subconscious does all the work.

I am the one who doesn’t need to try — I just do.

I no longer chase the Void — I am the Void.

Even after the subliminal ends, it stays active in my mind.

Its effects grow stronger every day.

The command is fully installed.

I no longer need help — I’ve already been reprogrammed.

I access the Void naturally now, as if I always could.

Whenever I say “Void” I enter instantly.

“Void” = full access, no delay.

That command is permanently active in my subconscious.

My subconscious absorbs this instantly and completely.

Every affirmation goes straight to my subconscious now.

My subconscious is wide open and receiving perfectly. I absorb this subliminal effortlessly, automatically, and fully.

My mind is tuned to receive and obey every word.

These affirmations are already working.

My results appear faster than ever before.

My mind accepts and applies everything right now.

I shift instantly with every listen.

Each second I listen multiplies the effect by 100.

Every repetition rewires me deeper.

The more I hear it, the stronger it gets.

Each play of this subliminal makes it permanent.

This subliminal grows more powerful every time I listen.

It compounds — it builds momentum fast.

This is working.

It’s done.

Shift locked.

Activated.

Full access granted.

Already mine.

No delay. No doubt.

(gah dayum that was long).

TEE HEE MY FAV GIRLY. YOU'LL GET UR MANIFESTATIONS I KNOW IT, I JUST KNOW IT.

OH MY FUCKING GOD SOMEONE GETS ME, PLEASE THAT WAS ME. i used to be obsessed with being skinny (i am so ashamed to say i used to be a koreaboo when i found kpop and you get how ppl wanna look there, pale skin and thin body and shi) so i managed to manifest losing a lot of weight and actually looking stick thin but I realized a year ago i kinda hate the look fr, i loved my old curvy self so i managed to manifest it back, ACTUALLY IT'S SO MUCH EASIER TO MANIFES SMTH BACK BC U ALREADY HAD IT BEFORE.

subconscious always listens- it's your conscious mind that is blocking it because there's no belief or persistence backed up.

WHY WON'T IT WORK- sit somewhere, calm yourself, speak to yourself your desires, go about your day doing that until you get ur desires, it's not "oh i did once or twice it may not work."

in Joseph Murphy's book, one of his clients was an elderly woman wanting to look for a man, many may say "oh u can't marry at this age it's too old." SHEEEE, EVEN IF SHE WAS OLDER, TOOK ONLY A MONTH BY SITTING SOMEWHERE AND REPEATING SHE HAS A LOVING MAN AND SHE FOUND ONE LITERALLY LIKE THAT.

I LOVE SIGNS LIKE THIS TEE HEE.

HI DARL AND SORRY FOR THE LATE REPLY, so, what you mean is, that your HYPNOPOMPIA STATE IS ACTUALLY VERY SHORT, mind you, that is not HYPNAGOGIA, which is a state that happens BEFORE SLEEP, hypnopompic state is when you JUST wake up, and it varies from someone to another, actually i get you, personally i find my state to be longer when i sleep limitedly, BUT THAT'S OK, you can try BEFORE sleep.

YALL HAVE NO IDEA HOW THIS MADE ME SMILE, I LOVE PEOPLE WHO UNDERSTAND ME AND MY HUMOR, I ADORE U ALL.

I DARL! ok so, there's a very fine line between dreaming and shifting, there's ALSO false dreams which looks like your reality but it's just a dream! there's a very big difference, best way? is to look down your fingers, if there are ten, you're in a real solid reality, if you have less or more, you're in a dream!

HI DARL! so yes, this is your body making way for the shift/void! body being stiff is a sign that it's going rigid to be entering soon!

THE AMOUNT OF PPLS ASKING THIS I SWEAR I'LL MAKE ONE THESE DAYS, AND IMMA MAKE IT EVEN MORE POWERFUL JUST U WAIT.

EJUFEIWJQI I SWEAR BY THE HMM METHOD I SWEAR, IT'S SO RELAXING AND YET SO FUN, I KNOW U WILL SHIFT SOON DARL.

YES DARL THAT'S A VOID THING, the main property is to know if it's not just your eyes waking up from a sudden sleep OR if it was actually a shift! check the surrounding, did u see anything? felt anything? BUT YOURE SO CLOSE MWAH.

[babymetaldoll]

Are you mine - Chapter sixteen: "What do you mean Wheels up?"

Summary: Stephen's death and Emily's kidnapping are a hard blow to the team. Spencer and his wife haven't slept in over 48 hours and fighting is the only way to go, apparently.  Word count: 6.074 Warnings: Cursing, spoilers of Criminal Mind Ep S13 01, angst A/N: The Reids need a break from everything. And no matter wht you say, the "wheels up" scene is the cringiest moment in the entire show. Try to prove me wrong. 

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(Y/N)’s point of view

We waited for a few minutes in the hospital hall until our friends got there. We had called their family and let them know what was going on. Spencer seemed to be in severe pain, and there were too many reasons: lack of sleep, stress, hospital lighting… the fear our friend had been hurt, Emily was missing and Stephen was dead. My husband was clearly having post-traumatic stress syndrome, with no time to deal with any emotion he might have to face.

It got worse after talking to Rossi. He was refusing treatment until he spoke to Luke, Spencer, and me.

- “First, you, go through my pants pockets and find my keys. There's a little one there in a file cabinet in my office. You following me?”

The man had hit his head, was still bleeding, and looked at us like he was about to give us the secret location of the holy grail.

- “Yes, I’m following.”- Luke said, holding the keys.

- “Inside, there's Chicago Bears season tickets. When you get them, you call Matt Simmons. I promised him those tickets.”

So Rossi hit his head harder than we had anticipated. We tried to convince him he was under any drug effect, but he got so mad he called us “assclowns” and forced us to go to the BAU and do as he asked us. It was the only way he would accept treatment.

- “I can’t arrest him.”- Spencer said as we reached the bullpen. Luke and I turned to him as he covered his eyes with one hand for the hundredth time in the last half hour.

- “What are you talking about?”- Alvez asked him.

- “Scratch.”- my husband explained and made an effort to look at us- “The second I see his face, I am going to kill him.”

- “Reid, come on! No one could blame you, we all wanna end that bastard.”- Luke tried to ease the mood, but I knew Spencer meant it. He wanted to add something, but he covered his eye with one hand with a painful expression. I wanted to hold him and take him away from all that pain, but we needed to help our friends.

- “What's wrong with me?”- Spencer whispered as I kissed his hand. Neither of us had rested a lot, and his crazy hair showed how little time he had had to take care of himself in the last 48 hours.

- “I’m pretty sure it’s PTSS. You’ve been in hyper-vigilant mode for the last 48 hours, we haven’t slept, eaten or rested, and shit keeps going south.”- I replied and rubbed his arms. - “I would suggest you take some time off to deal with this, but we both know…”

- “I don't have time to process my emotional state.”- Spencer added and I just nodded.

- “That's exactly when you make time, right? You ask for help. There's no shame in that.”- Luke tried to help, but Spencer’s attention was lost.

- “Rossi's office.”

- “Yeah. I'll handle that.”- Alvez tried to continue talking, but Spencer stopped him as he started walking away.

- “No. There's someone in Rossi's office.”

My husband was right, Penelope and Agent Simmons were in the room when we walked in, and they immediately gesticulated us not to make a sound and to give them our phones. Once they put them in a little wooden box filled with Cuban cigars Rossi had on his desk, Pen finally explained:

- “Ok. Now that we are secure, I got that for Rossi last year. Not only is it a cigar case, but it's also a Faraday case. It blocks all radio and cell signals. I think Scratch might be listening to us with our cell phones, even when they're off.”

I felt naked as soon as I heard that. What had Scratch heard…

- “That explains why Rossi was so cagey in the hospital.”- Luke added- “All right. Let's find these tickets.”

But as soon as he opened the drawer, all we could see were files about Scratch.

- “What is this?”- I asked as I grabbed one and went through the pages.

- “Stephen was brought on board for one reason. That was to catch Scratch.”- Simmons explained- “That is his entire investigation into him. He kept all his records off-site, updating Prentiss and Rossi through hard copies.”

- “If it's off the cloud, Scratch can't hack it.”- Spencer added, making it sound so obvious it hurt I didn’t realize it sooner.

- “Have you guys read it?”- I asked immediately.

- “No. Prentiss ordered it compartmentalized, eyes-only clearance, but she also felt there should be at least one failsafe who wasn't part of the BAU who knew about it just in case of emergency. That's why Garcia called me.”

Emily fucking Prentiss was the best, no questions asked.

- “All right. Let's dig in. I mean, this may be our only chance at stopping this bastard.”- Luke grabbed a few files and started passing them around. I followed him and got ready to read and find my best friend. We had to bring her back and make Scratch pay for what he had done.

Spencer’s point of view

It wasn’t a good day, let's put it that way. The fact Stephen was dead and that it could have been anyone on the team was too painful to start analyzing. It got real. I had always been, but it reminded us we could go through the same any day on the field.

Monica, Stephen’s wife, called Luke and asked him to go with her to the hospital to see her husband for the last time. It broke my heart to even think that that could be my wife, visiting my corpse.

But I didn’t have time to think about it. We had to find Prentiss.

I knew my wife was trying to focus as well, but tears kept falling down her cheeks as she read the files from Stephen’s investigation. I wanted to comfort her, but again, we had no time to process, to feel sorry, to feel at all. We were against the clock, and every minute Prentiss was away was a minute I knew she was being tortured.

All I could do was read file after file and make a major effort to find a lead.

Until I did.

- “What? Prentiss texted Hotch?”- (Y/N) asked as she read the print I had found. Garcia stood by her side in the conference room and read the paper over and over again, still not believing what I had found.

- “According to Stephen's documentation, yes.”- I replied.

- “It must have been a coordinated attempt to share intel. Would Hotch have exposed himself like this?”- Simmons asked, looking confused.

- “No!”- me and my wife yell at the same time.

- “And neither would she!”- I added and continued talking as I wrote the last message on the board. - “I mean, she wouldn't rely on a hackable app, and she sure as hell wouldn't write, “A.H.,” in a text. That defeats the purpose of compartmentalizing the investigation.”- I rambled, starting to feel very irritated by the slow pace we had figuring out where Prentiss was.

- “It was a smoke screen.”- Garcia whispered, shocked.

- “Prentiss knew they had to triple watch their backs because Scratch has always had eyes and ears everywhere.”- (Y/N) added and crossed her arms on her chest, looking upset and tired as well.

- “Stephen had a background in counterintelligence. He must have designed this. He faked the Hotch side of the conversation to entice Scratch to make a move.”- I nodded at Simmon’s words as I turned and looked at my team.

- “The size and scale of which indicate desperation, a desperation he hasn't shown after a year of hiding, so why now?”

My question hung in the air for a few seconds, until (Y/N) said.

- “It’s clear that the last text hit a note on him. We know Scratch has been obsessed with Hotch ever since the very beginning. He has to be trying to get his location from Em.”- that didn’t help keep me calm at all, but I knew she was right.

- “(Y/N) is right, A.H. is a pretty big red flag. Maybe that's what brought him out.”- Simmons added.

- “Well, they used Hotch's initials in other texts before.”- Garcia suggested- “Maybe that’s not it…”

- “Then they found something else, something they knew would rattle him.”- I turned to read the message again when my wife asked.

- “What’s B-cap?

- “Geography maybe. I mean, it's mentioned in relevance to DC.”- I heard Simmom’s theory, but it didn’t feel right. To make it worse, my eye was still bothering me, I was feeling anxious and I couldn’t focus.

- “Maybe it’s a code name for a partner.”- (Y/N) suggested.

- “I can't see it.”- I whispered, annoyed. That shouldn’t be that hard. There had to be something there to help me decode those letters, and I couldn’t see it. It was so frustrating and irritating I had to deal with it alone before I snapped in front of my team. And my wife.

- “Hey, no. Why don't we kick it over to the team? Maybe they can suss out…”- Penelope was still talking when I started pushing her and Simmons out of the room.

- “No. No time. Get out!”

- “What?”- Garcia looked at me like I had just asked the most random thing on earth, but I kept gently pushing her and Simmons out.

- “Get out. Sorry. You too, chipmunk, please.”

- “What? Why me?”- the way (Y/N) stared at me was both hurt and confused.

- “I'm sorry, but get out.”- I kissed (Y/N)’s forehead as Garcia grabbed her computer, Matt took the folders and I closed the door behind them.

I needed to be alone and focused. I was exhausted, but there was no time to rest. Prentiss was in danger and I had to make an effort and figure out that message as fast as possible.

(Y/N)’s point of view

I stared at Spencer pacing in the conference room for almost an hour. It was killing me because I knew how much he was pushing himself to get the right answer. He felt responsible, he was taking the burden all alone, and it was painful to know he wouldn’t even let us help.

- “Did he even sleep?”- Garcia asked and held my hand, trying to comfort me.

- “No more than an hour. Morgan stopped by with donuts.”

- “Yeah, he told me he wanted to catch up with him.”

- “I didn’t get time to hug him. I really need a hug from Morgan right now.”- I whispered and Pen held my hand tighter.

- “This I might be able to help with.”- Matt Simmons said and pointed at the text on the screen- “Prentiss’ last text had to do with Honduras. Scratch's last known sighting before tonight was Honduras.”

- “Right, and we thought Scratch fled there.”

- “Right. Prentiss asked the IRT to contact our Central American sources just to see if we could find anything. Now, we never did. We also never stopped to ask why Scratch was in Honduras in the first place.”

- “Clearly, not for the baleadas.”- I whispered and stood up. I needed to move to keep my head focused because I was both falling asleep and losing my mind sitting there.

- “Reid will figure this out.”- Garcia said with such conviction I felt hopeful for a second.- “He's really amazing at this kind of thing.”

That was the moment my husband picked to toss a book against the window, shocking us all. He was like a madman inside that room, with crazy hair and crazy weary eyes. I ran over and stormed into the conference room with Matt and Garcia. But before I could ask Spencer what the hell had happened, he started talking:

- “B-cap is short for Banisteriopsis caapi.”

- “What the hell just happened?”- I asked, but he ignored me and continued explaining.

- “It's a plant, specifically a hallucinogen that's found in a tea called ayahuasca.”

- “We worked on a couple of those cases, I think. If I remember, it's like peyote.”- Simmons added and my husband nodded and continued talking.

- “Yeah, in multiple ways. They're similar legally in that taking them is considered a religious practice, and pharmacologically, they're similar in that both drսg cause you to hallucinate intense, geometric patterns and vomit a lot.”

- “Ok. What does this have to do with Scratch?”- Garcia questioned, still looking shaky after the book-throwing scene.

- “Well, Scratch has a cocktail of disassociative drugs to induce delusions, but a mathematical mind like his would always be looking for ways to tweak and improve the formula.”- my husband explained.

- “Ok, so he wanted to get this B- cap and use it against his victims?”- I asked him and he nodded.

- “Exactly.”

- “So he went to Honduras to look for it. He then brought it back to DC to experiment with it. Stephen and Emily came to the same conclusion and tried to pretend like they were hot on his trail.”- Simmons summarized Spencer’s idea as my husband came up with a plan:

- “We need to track down all practitioners of the ceremony in the district... Shamans, gurus, overnight religions that just hung their first shingle. He could be using one of their volunteers as a partner, either witting or unwitting.”

Penelope, Matt, and I nodded, but none of us moved. Spencer frowned and stared at us confused.

- “What?”- he asked us.

- “You threw a book at a window. It was jarring.”- Garcia whispered, still shocked.

- “It took me sixty minutes to deduce what should have taken me sixty seconds, and if Emily dies because I was too slow, I'll be throwing a lot more than books.”

And just like that, my husband stormed out of the conference room. But I wasn’t gonna let him throw a tantrum and make me feel bad about it. So I followed him.

- “Stop it!”- I whispered/yelled and grabbed his hands to force him to turn and look at me, as he reached his desk in the bullpen.

- “What? Working? I don't think it’s a good idea, all things considered.”- Spencer hadn’t snapped at me at work in a very long while, though it didn’t surprise me. He was exhausted, but so was I, and I wasn’t throwing things around.

- “Stop trying to do this on your own, Spencer! We are a fucking team!”- I raised my voice ‘cos I didn’t have any more patience to deal with him.

- “I know we are, but I need to focus! This is the kind of thing I am good at, and I am failing!”- Spencer’s voice was hard, he was almost yelling and I was glad the bullpen was mostly empty.

- “You are failing at being a team member! We are all worried sick about Em, not just you!”

- “Don’t you think I know that?! I am worried about JJ, Rossi, and Tara too! And they are not here to help us solve this case, so it’s just us two, who have barely slept or eaten, plus Garcia and Simmons!”

- “Exactly! Not just you! So fucking let us help!!”

- “I need to do this!”- Spencer argued and I nearly lost it.

- “Why don’t you take a trip to Mexico behind my back again then, maybe that would help!”

- “Oh! you were waiting for a chance to throw that to my face!!”

- “Stop it!”- Penelope grabbed our hands and forced us to stop yelling at each other.- “I love you both, and I know you are not at your best, so please, for your family’s sake, stop arguing right now!”.

- “Can you tell him he is being a jerk?”- I replied and Penelope nearly gasped. - “He is! You know he is!”

- “So are you!”- my husband argued and Garcia was now officially shocked.

- “You are making me act like a jerk!”

- “Time out! Both of you!”- Garcia raised her voice- “You are going to sit in the conference room and fix your problems while me and Simmons are going to find the ayahuasca dealer who is covering Scratch, and we won’t talk to you until you have talked like adults and not the annoying brats you are being!”

- “We don’t have time for this!”- Spencer argued as Garcia started pushing us to the conference room.

- “Then make time for this!”- she said and slammed the door behind us. She locked us there, forgetting (or overlooking) the other door in the room, wide open.

- “This is crazy, we should be after Scratch!”- Spencer complained as I sat at the conference table and stared at him, pacing back and forth the room.

- “We? Don’t you mean you, Spencer?”- I crossed my arms on my chest and stared at him as his face changed.

- “Why are you making such a big deal about it? I am good at figuring things out! Period!”- my husband stared at me, crazy hair, weary eyes, exhausted, and angry. I was sorry I was being mean, but I couldn’t hold it. He was in so much pain he kept covering his right eye with one hand, still struggling with his vision. And yet, he refused to stop and ask for help.

- “I know you are good at it! You are good at fucking everything, Spencer! But that doesn’t mean you have to figure it out all alone! You can’t just throw us out of a room ‘cos you need to think, and you can’t fucking slam books at a window and not expect us to be worried!! What the hell were you thinking?!”

I stood up and waited for his answer. He looked at me and simply raised his arms, like asking me a question.

- “You know this is not our regular case! This is not a normal situation! We are worried, frustrated, and exhausted!”

- “Spencer! I know that!”

- “Then why are you nagging me?”

- “Because I am tired of feeling you keep pushing me away when things get hard like I can’t handle shit!”- I yell and finally take the anger off my chest- “You don’t ask for my help! You wanna solve everything on your own! I know you wanna keep me safe, but it’s so frustrating ‘cos I know I can help you and you don’t fucking let me! Ever!”

- “You know I trust you! You are an amazing SSA!”- Spencer tries to explain, but I don’t let him go on. I groan in frustration and shake my head.

- “Not here! At home! You are your own island! I know things haven’t been at their best lately! I know having your mom has been challenging and I feel incredibly guilty because I told you it was ok to bring her home with us! But I just want to help! And you never let me in!”

- “(Y/N), I’ve had to deal with my mother alone my entire life!”- Spencer yelled like it was groundbreaking news.

- “Not for the last ten years or more, Spencer!”- I replied and felt almost insulted.- “I’ve supported you, loved you, and helped you with Diana since we were friends! I’ve loved her since we met!”

- “But she is not your mom! She is my problem! My burden!”- Spencer’s voice shook as he finished that sentence, and covered his eyes one more time.

- “We are not married just to fuck and raise our kids! We are married to share the good and bad things! I’ve told you a million times, that we are in this together! Whatever “This” is! Stop pushing me away or I’m actually gonna go away! Is that what you want?”

Spencer stared at me after I finished shouting. He seemed hurt, not angry, not upset, he looked at me as if I had just shot him, and he had never seen it coming.

- “I love you with my life, but we can’t go on like this.”- I whispered and took a few steps closer to him. Enough yelling, we really had to start moving in that conversation and fix things- “This whole situation showed us how much work we still need.”

- “(Y/N), all I’ve ever wanted to do was to protect you.”- my husband sounded so wounded as he said those words, and I felt guilty for having that conversation, though I knew we needed it.

- “I know, but ironically, you keep hurting me in the process.”- I replied and took another few steps closer to him. He held my hands and rested them against his face, cradling his cheeks.

- “I know I’m stupid when it comes to feelings… I’m sorry.”

- “Were you planning to tell me about Mexico or did you actually think you could keep it from me forever?”- I asked him and he took a deep breath before replying.

- “I really wanted to tell you. I've felt like shit since it happened.”

- “Did it just happen once?”

- “Yes. I planned a second trip but never made it.”

- “Why didn’t you? You felt guilty?”

- “That, and the kids got sick that weekend. I could never leave you alone with them.”- Spencer confessed and he closed his eyes as if the thought brought him pain. He looked ashamed. - “I’m so sorry.”

I wrapped my arms around Spencer and he held me so tight against his body, I had trouble breathing for a second.

- “I hate when Cat Adams gets into my head.”- I whispered against his chest and my husband kissed the top of my head.

- “It was my fault, I let her get too close this time.”

- “Fuck yeah you did, she even sat on your lap.”- I looked at him and he caressed my cheeks carefully and slowly as he stared into my eyes.

- “I did what I could to get my mother home safe.” - Spencer’s voice was so apologetic my chest tightened as I heard him.

- “I know… but it doesn’t mean it was nice to hear, or watch.”

- “You know you are the only woman on earth for me.”- he added quickly as he raised my chin with his index finger, forcing me to lock eyes with him.

- “Derek might add other planets to that list as well, Space Boy.”- I teased and Spencer sighed, nodding.

- “True.”- he held me a few more minutes, letting the whole argument sink in.- “I don’t want to push you away.”

- “I know… it comes naturally when you are under pressure. You shut everybody out.”

He didn’t say anything else, I knew what he was thinking. A part of him wanted to apologize, the rest of his brain kept thinking about Emily. I sighed and looked at him, as my hands tried to fix his messy and crazy hair a little.

- “We’ll figure it out. Now let’s bring Em back.”

Spencer’s point of view

(Y/N) and I were still reading some of the files with Scratch’s intel Stephen had collected over the recent months when our cell phone rang. We both read the text, it was an address. Matt and Penelope had a location. They were on their way.

- “We are ten minutes closer.”- I whispered and my wife dropped the file on the table.

- “Hurry!”

We both knew we shouldn’t be doing that, neither of us had slept, I could barely see with one eye and my mental health was… unhealthy, to call it somehow decent. I was ignoring all the signs of burnout, anxiety, and panic attacks because I didn’t have time to deal with it. And my poor wife was unquestionably exhausted.

I kept the AC ice cold, trying to keep (Y/N) awake as she drove. The cold could help her stay focused, because it has a stimulating effect on your body, helping to counteract drowsiness, as well as improve mental clarity and alertness.

- “I’m fucking freezing.”- she whispered.

- “I’m trying to keep you awake, chipmunk.”- I replied and rubbed her leg.

- “I’m about to start singing all the Frozen songs.”- I chuckled remembering Raven would force us to watch that movie at least once a week back then. Even my mother knew some of the songs.

- “Did you double-check your bulletproof vest?”- I knew I had checked it myself, but I had to ask again.

- “Yes, you?”

- “Yes.”- she parked and we basically jumped out of the SUV.

- “You take right, I take left.”- I suggested but my wife shook her head even before I was done talking.

- “We are not splitting. We walk in together and walk out together. Is it clear?”

- “Yes ma'am.”

We rushed inside and less than a minute later, we heard the first gunshot. The place was a three-floor warehouse. We ran toward the sound, in hopes of finding Emily. My wife was right behind me, both our guns pointing around us the entire time.

And then, I saw her, Em, running up the stairs as Scratch tried to catch her.

- “FBI!”- I shouted and pulled the trigger. But I didn’t get him, I couldn’t even focus my gaze. He shot back, and I had to take two steps back, pushing my wife behind me to keep her safe.

- “Are you ok?”- I whispered as she nodded.

- “Are you?”

- “Yes, let’s go, Emily is on the run.”

We went upstairs but didn’t find anything. Instead, we heard Alvez’s voice from the first floor and decided to regroup with him.

- “Prentiss!”- I yelled as soon as I heard another gunshot. I was on edge, ‘cos I knew at the sight of Scratch I wasn’t going to talk to him, I wasn’t hoping for an interrogation or even to see him rot in jail. No. I wanted to be the one to put a bullet in that man’s head. I needed to see him bleed and get cold to be sure no one else in my family was ever going to be threatened by him.

- “Lower your weapon, damn it!”- Prentiss whispered as I found her and Matt behind some boxes on the first floor.

- “Where is Scratch?”- I asked immediately.

- “He is upstairs.”- Em whispered.- “Tag in here, Simmons and Alvez can box him in.”

- “No, I need to go find him.”

- “No, no, no, Spence. Please. I need someone I know is real right now, all right?”- Emily begged me and my wife moved closer to her and wrapped her arms around her. Simmons took his chance and ran away to catch Scratch. When my wife moved from Emily, I wrapped my arms around Prentiss and held her close to me.

- “Are you ok?”- I whispered as Prentiss nodded and tried not to cry.

- “Do you wanna go to the car?”- (Y/N) asked.- “This whole floor is clear. Scratch was alone here. Cocky bastard.”

- “Yeah, I need to get out of here.”- Emily replied. I held her and helped her walk as my wife grabbed her from the other side and supported her weight too,-

- “Scratch is down.”- we heard Alvez’s voice on the monitor a few seconds later.- “I repeat, Scratch is down.”

And though the nightmare was over, I didn’t feel relieved at all.

- “He fell, trying to escape.”- Luke explained to us as we stood next to the body. It made his death real, but it didn’t help with closure. It felt oddly wrong. The bastard was dead but all the pain he had caused was still here, hunting us. Knowing he was gone wasn’t enough to make it go away.

Coming back home to our kids was all we needed. That day, after visiting the team at the hospital, and dragging Emily along for a check-up, we went to Sofia’s and spent the rest of the day with our babies and my mother. Raven was so happy to see us she didn't let either of us go the entire day. Not even for nap time. (Y/N) held Vincent most of the time, she didn’t want to let him go, even when our 22-month-old wasn’t very excited to be stopped from running around.

- “We need time off from work.”- my wife whispered as we both lay on her old bed, holding our sleepy babies close to us.

- “We do.”- I replied and moved my hand from Raven’s back to my wife’s leg, rubbing it carefully a few times.

- “Maybe permanently.”- she added after a few seconds. But I didn't have an answer for those words. Not yet at least. So I just closed my eyes and sighed, ready to fall asleep.

(Y/N)’s point of view

Stephens’ funeral was something I wasn’t ready to deal with. I still felt overwhelmed by everything that had happened, and I didn’t feel prepared to face Monica, his wife. When I saw her sitting with their two kids, I kept seeing myself instead, crying over Spencer’s casket.

I didn’t know how to deal with the angst that that image produced me. I just held my husband’s hand tight as we stood next to Penelope and Simmons. Speeches were said, and people spoke about Stephen’s incredible career, his brilliant mind, and his good heart. All the things we were never going to share with him.

Somehow, Emily was strong enough to say some words at the ceremony. Being in a cemetery wasn't doing any good for anyone’s mental health at the moment, but we loved Stephen too much not to be there to say one last goodbye.

- “We never get to say good-bye the way we want, and when we deal with a loss so sudden and cruel, our emotions can overwhelm us.”

Prentiss’ voice was clear and strong. I bit my lips to stop crying, and Spencer wrapped an arm around me, kissing the top of my head.

- “Stephen Walker was a good agent, but he was a better man. He made the world a better place, and we can honor him by doing the work he never got to do.”

He never got to watch his kids grow. He never got to kiss his wife one more time. He didn’t get to retire, have a life, catch Mr. Scratch, and watch how he made the world a better place. There were too many things Stephen didn’t get to do, and all that ‘cos a psycho killer murdered him. I just sobbed and hid my face in Spencer’s shirt. He held me tight and didn’t let me go during the entire ceremony.

I couldn't even talk to Monica, I was too affected. However, I watched Emily and JJ talking with her, so after they lowered the casket and most people were gone, Spencer whispered in my ear:

- “Ready to go?”- and I just nodded.

- “Prentiss asked us to meet her at the BAU.”- Mat announced to us as we started walking. I didn’t want to go there, I wanted to go home and be with my kids. But I knew if Em wanted us to go to the BAU, it was serious. It wasn’t a meeting at Rossi’s after something had emotionally affected the team, it was formal.

When we walked into the conference room, Emily was waiting for us. She stood alone, like taking the room in. God knows how fucked up she was after being taken by Scratch, we had very little time to talk to her. We had little time for anything and everything at that moment. Rossi stood by her side as we all heard her saying to Matt.

- “I wanted to thank you for all of your help.”

- “Well, it was good to be of help. Ever since the IRT went down, I've been sitting on my hands waiting for a new assignment.”- he replied with a short smile.

- “We should sit down tomorrow. We can talk about that.”- Em suggested with a nod.

- “I'd like that.”

I don’t know why knowing there was a chance Matt joined the team made me feel better about my constant thoughts of leaving. Maybe ‘cos it meant someone else could step in and take our place.

- “So we all need to discuss what Peter Lewis' death means for this team.”- Emily was in full chief-of-department mode. Spencer, who was standing by my side, held my hand and intertwined our fingers as he kept looking at Prentiss.

- “It means that Hotch can come back.”- Penelope suggested, which I hadn’t thought about to be honest. Would he like to come back to this job? A job I didn’t know if I wanted anymore?

- “Yeah. We spoke to him. He was relieved that he and Jack were out of danger. They're out of Witness Protection, but...”- Rossi paused as if he didn’t want to break our hearts with the truth.

- “He's not coming back, is he?- JJ finished his sentence and David just nodded.

- “He loves being a full-time dad.”- Prentiss added- “He never got to do that before, and, let's face it, in this job…”

- “There's always gonna be another Scratch, and he's lost enough.”- Rossi’s words were somber, but filled with honesty. Of us all, Aaron Hotchner was the one person who had been forced to sacrifice too much for the team, for the victims, for the benefit of the Bureau. He deserved a life out of that madness and just be happy. Who knew? Maybe Beth could take him back after all those years.

- “We all have.”- Tara pointed out and looked at me. Of course, she knew I was a mess. But to be fair, we were all destroyed after those last couple of days.

- “Yes. We have, which is why the director has ordered us to take some time off from handling cases.”

At that moment right here, I felt like a whole brick wall had been lifted from my shoulders.

- “But before we all leave, there's one last thing I need to say.”- Prentiss continued talking. - “Scratch got deeper into my head than I care to admit, and the only way I was able to stay sane was by repeating a mantra, two words. You know what those two words were?”

- “Fuck you?”- I asked, but Prentiss shook her head.

- “Wheels up. It saved my life when I wasn't sure I was gonna make it because it reminded me that you were out there fighting, so take your rest... You've earned it. But when we get back, wheels up, Matt.”- Em turned to Simmons and he looked at Rossi for a second before answering:

- “Wheels up, Emily.”

- “Wheels up, Tara.”- Prentiss asked and I closed my eyes for a second, feeling the anxiety filling my body. My friend was about to ask us all one by one if we committed to the team after our weeks off and I didn’t even know what I wanted to do with my life.

- “Wheels up.”- Lewis replied with a short smile.

- “Wheels up.”- JJ said before she was asked to answer,

- “Wheels up.” - Penelope did the same, and her voice cracked slightly.

- “Wheels up.” - Luke added

- “Damn right, wheels up.”- Rossi gave it a twist and then turned to my husband. His hand was still holding mine and I gave it a little squeeze. He looked at me and then at the people around us and finally nodded as he replied.

- “Wheels up.”

And then, they all stared at me. I didn’t know what to answer; I was feeling my peers’ pressure. So I opened my mouth and before I knew it, I heard myself saying.

- “Wheels up.”

And I immediately regretted it. 

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[shysuccubusstuff]

zayne's bunny

Content: Established relationship, pet names (kinda corny?), consensual, non-proof reader (as always).

Note: This is based on the Heartfelt Paradise date in which he sort of calls the MC bunny.

A few minutes after you called him, Zayne appeared at the door, his face as calm as always, but his body language showed how he was a bit anxious after your friends had to call him, as you refused to move if he didn't go to pick you up. You suddenly felt how two strong arms took you, lifting you as if you were as light as a feather and making you a bit more dizzy.

"I'll take her home, sorry." Zayne lost no time, simply explaining how he was a childhood friend of yours, quickly leaving some of his own money on the table and leaving shortly after his arrival.

He got you on the passenger seat, allowing you to rest and putting a small blanket he had inside his car, almost chuckling at how you tried to clinge to his body heat.

"My cute girlfriend has turned into a little bunny?" He let a soft smile escape his lips, but he got focused and entered the car, driving towards your home while avoiding the traffic that was around that hour.

A few minutes later both of you had arrived to your house, once again, Zayne took your body in a bridal style, putting your password into the door and entering your house, closing the door before letting your soft body on top of your bed. He thought about changing your clothes, as you still had your formal clothes on, but as you hadn't done anything of that type, he simply opened the sheets, covering you with them. Just as he was about to get out of the room and perhaps sleep in the living room, your hand stopped him, your fingers tightly clinging to his shirt.

"What's the matter, darling?" He got close once again, his hand on top of your forehead, making sure that you didn't have any fever caused by the rain that had got both of you a bit wet (not enough to worry, but maybe your health was a bit weaker than his).

"Zayne...don't leave me..." Your words were sluggish, making you sound almost too cute to bear. He smiled, trying to get your grip to soften, as he knew he wouldn't have the heart to leave you after you begged him with such an alluring tone, almost making him way too weak for his taste.

"It's quite late at night, so both of us should rest a little, we can spend as much time together as you want tomorrow, it's that ok?" He tried to act as calm as possible, he knew you were still a bit drunk, so it was obviously not ok for him to do anything that you could regret the next morning. As soon as he got up, ready to leave the room he was pulled, making him fall on top of you. "(name)! Are you ok? You should be careful, I could have harmed you after falling on top of you." While he was complaining about your boldness and lack of self-awareness, you curled around him, your arms surrounding him and even having the nerve to get on top of him, cosying on his chest and smiling just like a small cat would do. He was about to complain once again, but he simply sighed, taking off his shoes and getting both of you on the bed, starting to dooze off as the time went on.

By the time you woke up, it was around five in the morning, suddenly feeling certain warmth under you, as you checked, you realized it was Zayne, who was still asleep, hair undone and his shirt with a few buttons open, allowing you to touch his bare chest. You were about to get out of the bed, but his hands stopped you, pulling you into his chest and whispering against your ear "Dear... why are you moving? You didn't move during the whole night but now you're all lively all of sudden? Are you trying to rile me up?" While he was saying that, you realized that there was something a bit too close to your lower half, you tried to move with even more agitation, causing his grip to strengthen and hearing him grunt.

"(name)... why are moving so much? Do you want to let go that badly? But you were the one that invited me to your bed." Zayne finally opened his eyes, locking eyes with each other.

"Zayne!... your thing is..." You tried to explain it, trying to get up and sitting on top of him, the face of Zayne reddened a bit, suddenly feeling his bulge even more prominent against you. Instead of what you expected, his grip changed, moving his cold hands to your hips and sending shivers all through your body. He got up, sitting in the bed and putting your foreheads together.

"Are you trying to test me...? I'm not made of ice, I hope you know that..." One of his hands moving his hand upwards, getting some of your hair out of your face and kissing your lips, bitting you a bit and making you whine, the heat starting to rise up.

"Zayne... I want to..." Your hands thrilled up his body, kissing his neck and collarbones his lips parting and allowing soft moans to leave his mouth. "No fair." As he said that, his hands got under your shirt, lifting it up and getting rid of it in the process and tossing it to the side. He made a trail if kisses, starting on your soft lips and moving until he reached your bare chest, almost causing you to melt on the spot. As he heard your pretty moans, he got even more euphoric, finally being able to touch your bare skin without any type of contemplation. His hands started to play with your nipples, caressing them without applying too much force and kissing them, giving them subtle nibbles, teasing you while his member was starting to grow bigger under you.

"Darling..." His deep voice resonated in your ear, almost making you whine from goosebumps that were caused just by his voice. While you wrapped your arms around his back, he got you up, switching your positions, allowing you to truly see the great size difference between both of you, as he was clearly towering over your frame. He lowered, kissing your soft lips and letting his hands run around your cushiony body. His hands finally reached your pants, slowly getting rid of them and throwing them just as he had done before with the rest of your clothes, he got his hands on your knees, opening your legs and seeing the wet patch that was easily perceived in your underwear. Your face flushed, causing you to try to close your legs, but Zayne kept them open, smiling as he saw your flushed face. He wasted no time, getting his face close to your underwear and peppering all over it, his hands slowly drifting towards your special place. His fingers moved your panties to the side, sending butterflies to your tummy, Zayne was already playing with your clit with his mouth, while his fingers were preparing your entrance, making your head feel as light as a feather.

"You look so pretty like this, baby, all open and ready for me. Be a good girl and stay still, yeah? I will take care of everything." His deep voice sending shivers down your spine, moulding your mind and cohering you into becoming his pretty girlfriend, always ready for him.

You felt how he entered you, the stretching being painfully slow, but when he was finally balls-deep into you, you couldn't help but let out a soft whine, hugging his broad back as you tried your best not to cum on the spot. He waited a bit, making small movements until he finally felt you were relaxing a bit, then he started to create a kind of rhythm, your eyes rolling to your skull, did sex ever feel that good?

Suddenly you were moved, his big hands took your sore body and putting you on top, his hands being wrapped around your waist. Just as you were about to complain, he moved you a little, using just a tiny bit of his strength, with this new position the tip of his dick was almost piercing your cervix, making you go dumb on top of him

"What's wrong, baby? I though bunnies loved to jump, that's why I changed you, can't handle it?" Zayne was looking at you, eyes hazy from the pleasure, his calloused hands moving you up and down, grinding you against his dick, making you mewl with tears falling down your cheeks, making you cum on the spot, digging your nails on hid shoulders and causing you to lose the poor strength you had left.

He smiled as he felt your body shiver, your cunt holding him even tighter than before. He caressed your head, making small circles in your hips as a way to make you melt, his arms making you feel completely safe.

[anoddlystoatishhyena]

Just Like Glass

CW: slight body horror (disfigurement/amputation)

(This is also quite a long post, so bear that in mind)

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Notes: THIS IS MY FIRST WRITTEN THING EVER I HAVE NO EXPERIENCE WITH WRITING - This is somewhat based of Land Of The Lustrous/Houseki No Kuni because I have been SO hyperfixated on that, and also inspired by this image that I have found on Pinterest:

If you know who originally made this picture please let me know Ok back to the fanfic-

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It'd been a while since Glass Joe would get to fight against another boxer, having been injured pretty badly in his previous fight against Bald Bull. The Turkish boxer had managed to do quite a number on him, so much so that the Frenchman's personal doctor was worried some damage would be more permanent than the usual brain damage or broken ribs. Luckily, Great Tiger offered to help, to speed up the healing process if it meant Glass Joe could get another turn in the ring faster. How kind of him. Now Glass Joe's in high spirits, not just because he's not in pain from his former injuries. The Administrator has just informed him that his next fight is only tomorrow, and it's against Disco Kid of all boxers. The happy-go-lucky boxer from Brooklyn is the only other fighter with a negative win-to-loss ratio, so Glass Joe was hoping he'd be able to snag another win from this next fight. It won't fix the ninety-nine losses, but he figured he had to start small to work his way up.

"I'm telling you, mon vieux, I'll be able to improve my win to loss ratio eventually!" The Frenchman exclaimed, explaining his plan to Von Kaiser as the two walk down the hall. "I may never make it a positive one, of course, but it'll be better than just one!"

Von Kaiser could visibly see the pep in Glass Joe's step, as he stomps next to him in his usual stiff and tense walk. "...I must say, Mein Freund, I admire your dedication. You've been doing this for... how long now?" "Hmm... around twenty years, if I'm not mistaken." "Really now?" Von Kaiser paused, his eyes narrowing for a moment as he attempted to do the maths in his head. "...I've been here around twenty-two years. I will admit, I'm surprised time has flown by so quickly." "It really is a wonder, non?" The Frenchman remarked, as the two finally make it to the WVBA's lobby. "Perhaps we can reminisce over a lovely coffee and croissant from the local café? My treat, mon amour!" This is met with a stern sigh and weary chuckle from the German boxer, Von Kaiser moving one of his hands out from behind his back to pinch the bridge of his nose. "You always find a way to twist my hand into taking you to that café, don't you?" He scoffs, though his tone is more of a joke than an actual show of annoyance. "...Fine. Let's go."

Luckily, the weather is perfect for a small walk to the cafe - The sun is bright, the clouds adorn the sky in many odd shapes, and there isn't a drop of rain in sight. The two older boxers walk out of the lobby to the WVBA, Von Kaiser reaching for the stairs' railing and holding onto it with one hand tightly. "Remember to actually use the handrails, Joe." He speaks up sternly, glancing back at the Frenchman as he begins to descend the concrete stairs. "I don't want you undoing the work Great Tiger has done to heal you." "Oui, oui, I know..." Came the dejected reply, as Glass Joe reaches for the handrail and begins using it to get down the stairs as well. "...It feels like you tell me to use the handrails every time- wuh-woah!" Of course, Joe being clumsy ol' Joe, he somehow manages to lose his footing, missing a step and grabbing onto the handrail to catch himself. The sharp sound of glass breaking cuts through the air, stunning Von Kaiser into silence for a moment. Glass Joe can see Von Kaiser tense up from the sudden noise, the German boxer's grip on the handrail nearly denting the metal pole as Von Kaiser attempts to calm himself down. Once he recovers enough to begin breathing normally again, he sighs with a disgruntled scoff as he glances back at Glass Joe. "D-Did you somehow manage to break your little compact mirror again?" "...Non, it wouldn't have been that loud.. Maybe Aran broke one of the windows back inside." "But the noise came from here." "...You're right, maybe-" Glass Joe begins to talk, but the second he stops looking around for the source of the noise, and looks down at his foot, the one that missed the step, he goes silent. His foot has somehow shattered into pieces, the translucent, glass-like shards reflecting the sunlight as they lay on the stairs. The impact has reduced Glass Joe's right foot to nothing but a jagged stump, the two men staring down in horror at the gemstone-like shards now scattered across the ground. "M-Mon dieu.." "..Oh mein gott."

[fakescenariosbeforesleepblog]

Daddy will save us.

Vladimir Makarov x FEM reader and family (Lev and Milenka)

Everybody thinks Vladimir Makarov is a man who only cares about himself and his convictions, but they don't know how protective and feral he can be when his family is in danger.

(Your son, Lev is 14 years old and your Daughter Milenka is 8 years old, I'm pretty sure Makarov is an amazing father, he wouldn't let something bad happen to his family).

Warning: Mentions of violence, weapons, blood, As always grammatical and spelling errors. Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters nor do I claim to own them. I do not own any of the images used nor do I claim to own them.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters nor do I claim to own them. I do not own any of the images used nor do I claim to own them.

You live far from the city, so it is supposed no one has to be around your house. Vladimir is not at home, he is in the airport, you and your children are getting ready for school, you are helping your daughter with her hair when you notice a truck outside the house.

«What the hell is that?» you think, you call Vladimir but he doesn't respond, your mother instincts says to you this is unusual and your logic tells you that your husband wouldn't forget to tell you if someone would be around.

- Milenka, bring your brother and don't get close to the windows please.

Your pretty girl ran and a few moments later your son, Lev is on the doorframe.

- Lev, send a text to your father.

- Why me? You can text him too.

Your teenage boy sometimes makes you doubt your patience.

- No questions Lev, just do what I'm asking you, Ok?

You looked under the bed for an old backpack, and put it over the bed, you ran to the closet and brought a Pair of bulletproof vests.

- Put this under your hoodie, tell your father we have problems.

Lev looks at the vest in shock, why are you giving him that?

- Mom, what's going on?

- Lev, no questions! Tell him «caught in a bear trap, find us» now Lev!

Your son puts his questions aside and starts to put the vest, your adjusting it while he texts your husband.

- Done, mom are we in trouble?

You look at him, confident, Milenka in the room with all of you, she wonders what's going on but doesn't ask. You hold the hand of each one and explain them.

- Probably is nothing serious, there's a truck outside and your dad didn't tell me if someone would be around, I need to prevent, I promised your dad to protect us when he's not around, and that's what I'll do, ok? But I need you to help me, obey me, that's all I'm going to need.

Both look at each other and then to you nodding. You smile at them, the last thing you need right now is your two children in panic.

- That's it, now, we're going to pretend we haven't seen them, alright? Let's go to your father's car, I'll drive as fast as the car allows me, so please use the seat belt.

«Yes,mom»

You have your backpack with a medical kit, some weapons and your cellphone with the tracker on. Your kids are in the car, you are still trying to contact Vladimir but there's nothing.

Once in the car you start to drive, observing through your mirror, the truck starts to follow, you're sure they are following you because they take the same streets as you, they change lanes just like you, if you accelerate they do it too. Definitely it's not a coincidence, your children are quiet, Lev is still calling his dad but he still doesn't pick up the phone.

- Mommy, are we in danger?

Your daughter asks behind you.

- It's okay baby, if something happens daddy will save us, at the moment Lev and i will protect you.

You park close to school, you think maybe if your kids can make it on time, these men will not try to catch them.

- Let's go, don't look back, if I say you have to run, you do it, okay?

Both nodded. You're walking trying to lose between all people passing by. Your children are walking in front of you, Lev is holding Milenka's hand. You feel someone really close to you and then a gun is touching your back.

You don't hesitate, and a knife in your hand goes directly to the man's head. All the people start to run and scream.

- Run! Now!

Lev takes Milenka and runs as fast as he can while other men run in your direction, you start to shoot at them, two of them are down you can't see your kids anymore, you're praying to see them in school, your time distracted was enough to let one man unarmed you, you fight until another one appears with Milenka, pulling her by her ponytail and your son trapped by his arm pressing his neck.

«Mommy!»

- Give up or watch them die right now.

- Fine. Just don't hurt them.

The three of you and the men that survived are in the truck, your eyes are covered but you're trying to memorize the way according to the movements and the sounds around you, in case you can find a way to escape. «1...2...3 turn to the left, 4... 5... 6...7 the bells of a church, 8...9...10...11...12... Turn to the left again, 13...14...15... hole, 16...17...»

After a 50 minute trip, you arrive, an abandoned Gas station, they let you in a room with your kids, Milenka is scared and crying, Lev and you are trying to calm her down.

- Milenka, your dad will not let these men hurt you or your brother, I won't let them either.

- Mom, where's Daddy?

- Don't worry Milenka, Dad is on the way, I'm sure he will save us, don't be afraid we will protect you while he's not here.

- Milenka, Lev. No matter what happens, you will not say nothing about Dad, ok? Nothing. No matter if they say they will hurt us, no one will say nothing.

Moments later a man is taking you out, the pleadings of your little girl are hurting you and make you feel anger, you hope your husband arrives soon and give these guys what they deserve, pure pain.

- So, finally, you're the famous wife of the biggest criminal in the country, huh? Are you going to cooperate, princess?

- My husband will kill and torture you, no one messes with his family and lives to talk about it.

- We'll see that, now tell me, where is he?

- I don't know, ask as much as you want, the answer will be the same.

- If I break your bones one by one, you will speak. And when I finish with you I'll continue with your boy and your precious little girl at the end.

And that's what he's doing, you're screaming but not speaking, you don't say a word, just the pain.

«She will spill the Beans too soon, finish her!» someone says.

Your forearm is broken, some fingers, your face has some cuts and blood, a purple eye, what will they do now, you don't know, you're just resisting, you know your husband will not abandon you.

An explosion close to your location catches the attention of everyone in the room, you know what it means, he's here.

Before anyone can make a move, there's a flashbang grenade, you can barely see, men in black with guns, bullets, ashes, then a big shadow walking on your direction.

- My love!, what have they done to you?

You can hear his voice but you're too tired to answer.

- leave at least one alive, kill the rest, burn them alive!

«Sir, your kids are fine!» «Daddy! You came!» «Dad! Mom? Dad! what happened to her!?»

- Take them to the car, and bring a medic now! It's all alright, Lev, take care of your sister...

Makarov helps you to walk, he treats you delicately, he can't stop apologizing for taking too long to arrive while at the same time he thanks you for keeping your children safe.

- I'm so sorry my dear, they will pay for this, I promise you they will regret it! Thanks for taking care of our kids, they're safe thanks to you...

The medic splint your arm and swathe your fingers, first aid, but as soon as you arrive at the base, they attend your injuries, once you can stand up from the bed you walk through the halls looking for your husband and your kids. One of his soldiers takes you to where Makarov is. The soldier makes you wait out and goes to let Makarov know you're awake.

- Go on. (The soldier said)

Once you're inside you see a man, in a chair, bleeding, chains around his neck and wrists, you can bet he's already half dead. There are some exposed bones, like his clavicle bone, his forearm, shinbone, his nose is broken and his cheek has a deep cut you can see his teeth, his lip is dangling. You can listen he's sobbing, you walk more close to him just to realize this is the same man who was breaking your bones and hitting you.

- My love, how are you feeling, you should be resting. How's your forearm, your beautiful hands...

Makarov is now in front of you, kissing your forehead, your husband feels like he failed you, you're hurt and he couldn't do much to save you before all that happened to you.

- It's okay V, I wanted to see you and our children, where are they?

- they're fine, they are in my office, sleeping a little, they were very stressed.

- I tried to protect them, I'm sorry Vlad, I really tried.

- Darling, you did it well, they're fine, I'm in eternal debt with you for what you've done today.

He kisses your forehead and runs his thumb through your cheek, there's a fresh cut there. He closes his eyes and kisses you again.

Vladimir never shows his love and devotion for you in public, he prefers to hide you and your children from the world, he knows the risks, you knew them too and still, both decided to continue with this relationship and this family.

After a few minutes hugging you and kissing you, the groan of the man in the chair interrupts you, and just like that, the softness on Makarov's look changes for pure rage, he turns back to the man and hits him over and over and over again while you watch and hear the pleadings of the man «i'm sorry, please stop, please...»

Makarov puts a voice recorder close to the man, and then starts to speak.

«I don't know who you are, but what you've done to me today won't be forgotten, I'll find you and you will pay for what you did to my wife and my children...»

He stops the recording and puts it in the pocket of the jacket of the corpse in front of him, the man is hardly breathing but still is consent. You walk to the man and your husband, with some difficulty you kneel down and with a soft voice close to the man's ear you tell him probably the last words he will hear.

- I told you my husband would find us, I told you he would make you feel pain and make you wish to be dead. Look at you now, little shit.

Makarov helps you to stand up and kiss your lips, then orders some soldiers to put the corpse in the highest building in the city, he wants to let everyone who tries to mess with him know he's not playing and he will do anything to protect you and everything he loves and fight for.

[seirindono]

two questions.

one, HOW DOES ONE COMIC/STORY BOARD??

IM OBSESSED WITH HOW YOU DO IT ITS SO BEAUTIFUL

two, HOW DO YOU SO IT SO FAST( that’s question is more just me being super impressed oh my goodness)

you’re very good😳

Aw, sweet, a board question *puts on serious glasses*

Ok, bring it on anon.

So, the first thing to ask yourself when starting a comic, as I see it, is what type of board are you dealing with. Webtoon? A4 pages? 4 panels? There are many ways to go about it, and each involves different processes. For example, pages will allow for more superfluous scenes, whereas the webtoon format has to be super succinct because of the reading direction. I personally think that's the main reason I do pages, among other advantages: •narrative density •variety •Tumblr-friendly format

There are quite a few disadvantages too but you have to go through the process of trials and errors to really find out what suits you best!

Then there's the ambition of the sequence you're boarding for. And it goes from 1. how used I am to boarding this kind of sequence/drawing these characters/setting and backgrounds, to 2. is it an emotional sequence? Dialogue-heavy? Or more contemplative?

It changes the way you work and how you should approach your board! For example, in TMS, the very wordy chapters (4 and 5 for ex) generally called for simple and narrow framing. Of course, you don't want to bore the reader so you can spice things up to match the characters mood and reactions once in a while, but you have to bear in mind that the sequence aims to provide dialogue and information = the text bubbles are key and WILL take a lot of place. So let them.

( then again, it's all about pacing and balance. A page full of dialogue and one with too much happening are equally hard to read and boring to do)

Only dialogue, simple squares, no compostion, the focus is on Mel's reaction

On the other hand, parts 7 and 8 are all about action and atmosphere! This makes for wider and more varied shots!

They're fighting, things are going fast so why not use a single line to show many actions! They're still basically squares and rectangles but the pacing is totally different!

Or why not give the action a full page to really show its sheer impact

You can also split things, with a zoom or small time gap, depending on if it's a gag or if you want to put the focus on a reaction. Here, the asymmetry helps reinforce the unstable, jerky aspect of the scene. The situation is getting out of hand, and visually, the pages are affected too.

Now, these are case-by-case examples. And I never work on my pages separately.

For context, this-

-is the "first" board I did for part 8.

The drawings are very small and frankly difficult to make out, but the intention is what matters at this point lol I have the script (very important) next to my canvas, and I scribble the pages one after the ither. This allows me to see if the actions flow well, if the compositions are varied and also whether certain passages are too long or too short in regard to their importance. Which scenes can be merged? Removed? Toned down or if they deserve more bite?

This is a really fun and creative part but, I'll say it again, made a lot easier with a solid scipt. And I'm talking about a text document with clearly defined dialogues (or at least outlines) and actions.

I can't really explain how to write a script, it really depends on your work flow and how confortable you are with writing, but it's too important to just rush through it. No matter how much it changes before, during or after your finish boarding (cuz you gotta break your own rules sometimes and you'll often realize some things don't work as well once you put them on paper/sometimes art block can be resolved by writing the scene and just taking the time to imagine) but it's still your one guideline.

Aaaand, that's about it.

Other than that, I can only highly recommend reading lots of comics, Webtoon, books, watching movies, paintings, illustrations, animatics or listening to music, to inspire you and expand your own "personal library of references". Professional or not, anything your find inspiring and well executed. Boarding is at its core, telling stories. No art skill involved, just pure subjectivity. At the end of the day, it's all about squares, rectangles and bubbles so you gotta work on your creativity. The rest is gut feeling!

Constantly ask yourself how to tell this story, and how you want to tell it. How this sequence should be perceived? What do you need to show to make pages and pages of words appealing and interesting.

Be patient, be bold. Start with easy stuff to get some confidence if you need to. Accept that "boring" pages are smt necessary and that it's up to you to build up tension for a scene to really pop. Try new ideas and be ready to scrap many of them, the result will be worth all the work!

Now, concerning the "fast" part, I'm flattered but I personally think I'm super slow xD You prbly get that impression bc I finish the whole chapter before posting it, but behind the scene, I'm just working at a very regular pace.

Thank youuu anon ♡( ◡‿◡ )

[return-of-a-space-cowboy]

Yandere Rikkiel X Ex girlfriend stand user reader

Oh God just when I was about to post did I actually see the stand user part!! I'm so sorry, my eyes betray me once more. I've been pondering on the fic for so long but I'm going to post anyways it as I've kinda gone to far to throw it out.

If you still want me to do the stand user concept please send me another ask and I'll fulfill it. Yet again my apologies.

I pondered on this for awhile after finishing as it's my first time writing for Rikkeil and i was a bit nervous due to how little we get of him. Hope I did him justice.

(Yandere Rikkeil x gender neutral ex Reader)

“Rikkeil, I have something to tell you…” you said as you sat with him for lunch. You had to tell him, it was eating you inside to keep hiding it.

“Yes?” He asked. Obviously happy to be with you. You didn't want to hurt him but you had to tell him. You took a deep breath in before finally speaking.

“I got into the University of Michigan,” you told him. Of course he was proud of you. Previously you arranged to go to whatever state you got in together but recently you started to think about your relationship with him. You did care for him, however you realized that your feelings for him were more platonic. He deserves someone who could love him without a doubt.

“There's another thing I have to tell you too” you said. He could tell something was wrong by your somber tone. He reached out to hold your hand but you pulled it back.

“I've been thinking about our relationship, I realize that my feelings for you aren't romantic. It's nothing to do with you I just feel as though I didn't understand what I really felt” you tried to explain. He sunk in his seat, you could tell he was hurt.

“Are you ok Rikkeil?” You asked him.

“I'm fine” he told you with a shaken voice. He was struggling to articulate just how he felt. Ye wanted to cry, to beg, even grab you and ask if this was a horrible joke.

You had been the only person he'd been with, one of the few people who hadn't looked down on him and helped him. Deep down he felt something repulsive writhing inside him, reaching up into his chest and ensnared his lungs.

“We can still be friends, I promise I'll keep in contact if you want” you reassured him, however he couldn't quite take that. He loved you, you were his everything. He couldn't even speak, couldn't bear to be in this situation any longer as he felt himself struggling to breathe.

“I have to go! I forgot something important!” he yelled as he stood up and quickly left. You felt horrible but perhaps it was best just to give him some time.

💔💔💔

He hadn't left his house in days, God he felt horrible. Even worse than usual. All he could think of is just how much he needed you. You'd been together for a few years now and you'd helped him through so much even before he'd had the confidence to ask you out.

He wondered if he did something that made you not like him. Were you telling him that you'd stay friends just to please him. His mind was full of so many horrible thoughts.

Even in his dreams he couldn't escape it. Horrible scenarios of you meeting someone else, getting hurt or even worse.

He was convinced that he had to do something. Had to get you back. He grabbed his tone and texted you as quickly as he could.

‘(Y/n), could we catch up?” He asked and waited for what seemed like forever for a response.

‘I'm sorry, Catching up with family for a couple of days, I'll be back on Thurs’ you replied. It only made him more insecure, what if you were lying? What if it wasn't even you that responded to his texts.

💔💔💔

After a lot of deliberation he finally decided to check your apartment. He needed to know what was going on. At first he thought it would be tough to get in but the moment the owner saw him she offered to unlock it for him assuming he was still the tenant's partner.

He practically scavenged through everything in an attempt to find a reason. He hadn't even realized you'd arrived home early until you'd turned on the lights.

“Rikkel? What are you doing here?” You asked with concern in your voice. His head whipped towards your direction. What was he going to tell you? That he was looking for a reason as to why you dumped him. No he had to make an excuse or else you'd surely get defensive.

“I… I was looking for something, lost something and I last remember having it here” he worked up a measly excuse.

“Ah, I'm not feeling too well but I can try my best to help you find it” you offered.

“Thank you,” he said.

“What was it you lost?” You asked. Again he had to lie, he was raking his brain for another excuse.

“A card,” he replied.

“What was it for and what color?” You asked.

“Red… it was one of those loyalty cards for the mall… need it to get something for my grandma” he lied.

He could see you pondering, did you not believe him?

“I don't remember seeing it around, it must be in-between furniture or something if it is here” you told him.

“You sure it isn't at yours or in your car?” You asked.

“I checked several times,” he explained.

“Ok I'm going to sit down for a bit, could you get me some water and I'll start looking when I feel a little better” you told him as you sat down on the lounge.

“Of course” he responded, heading to the kitchen.

“Oh could you add some ice?” You asked.

“Yes,” he replied.

“So how was seeing your family?” He asked.

“It was alright, had dinner out but I got this pounding headache and couldn't stay any longer” you explained.

“I was supposed to be heading off to an engagement party a couple of hours out tomorrow but I don't know if I'll go if I'm still feeling like this, at least I didn't pay for my own room” you continued.

Meanwhile Rikkeil was getting out the ice cubes and putting them in a glass. His heart was racing from this whole ordeal. He couldn't lie, part of him was pushing for extremes. To lock you up and never let go. He didn't think he could ever do such a thing til now. End up like those sick freaks on TV. Maybe they had gone through the same thing, unable to process not having their one and only and acting out.

He opened up your medication draw. He knew you had some strong sleep medication somewhere. He shuffled the boxes around before he saw the familiar packaging. If he were to slip those in your water he'd have no issue with just picking you up and taking you back to his car.

No, he couldn't just do that?! If he got caught he'd get sent straight to prison. But what if you understood him? You always had. If you could see just how much he needed you you would reconcile. He could really show you that you still loved him.

So he followed through. Taking out the medication and crushing it with the side of a knife.

“You ok?” You asked after hearing a thud.

“Yes I'm fine, just hit my knee” he told you as he put in the crushed up medication into the water and gave it a gentle stir til he couldn't see it.

“Sorry for taking so long” he apologized as he headed towards you with the glass in hand.

“No it's fine” you replied.

He sat next to you and handed you the water.

“Thank you” you told him before taking a sip.

“I was worried when you left the other day,” you confessed.

“Why?” He asked

“It's just… I know it must have hurt to hear me say what I did after all we've been through, I was afraid to lose you. I might not see you romantically but I still really care about you. I didn't want to lead you on… you deserve someone who can love you without a doubt” you explained.

He remained silent, there was no going back now. You were the one he deserved, how could you not see that you two were meant to be. After everything you two had gone through.

[michanvalentine]

Vincent's slumber

I don't know if anyone has already talked about it, I'm relatively new to social media (and I have the same skill as Vincent in using it). In any case, I share this thought that I have always had, but which with the release of Rebirth came back to my mind stronger than ever. I'm talking about Vincent's sleep. Nothing that comprehends how long it lasted, whether he woke up from time to time to do who knows what or whether he instead remained locked in the coffin for the entire time until Cloud arrived. Maybe I'll talk about this in the future, who knows. Instead, I would like to focus on why Vincent needs so much sleep. In the OG it would seem that he slept for 30 years straight, later with the expansion of the FF VII compilation we learned that there were moments of wakefulness. Even in FF Rebirth, Vincent's crypt seems way more comfortable than a plain one and Vincent's own statements suggest that he has experienced something in the meantime. In any case, we can safely say that Vincent Valentine is a sleepyhead, who spends much of his time sleeping (or napping around, poor Cait Sith). In DoC we saw him dozing under the Nibelheim tree (I hope in one of his moments of pause as a bodyguard, lol), where he and Lucrecia had their picnic. So our hero loves to sleep. Subsequently, after being used for Hojo and Lucrecia's experiments, in DoC Vincent remained in suspended animation in the tube for an unspecified period. Basically asleep. We currently don't know when he woke up, where he got his amazing cloak, and how he ended up lying in a coffin. Always sleeping. Surely after everything that happened to him, poor guy, being depressed, hiding from the world, self-punishing, etc, is quite understandable. And this would explain why he continues to sleep. Until a certain degree. For starters, I've always thought that the reason why, once Chaos and Protomateria were implanted, Vincent didn't wake up immediately was because his body needed time to adapt. To recover. We know that Hojo gave him a virtually indestructible body, but even so the burden of Chaos and the other demons/monsters is physically too much to bear. So both Hojo and Lucrecia thought they had failed in their experiment, precisely because Vincent didn't wake up. Even after regaining consciousness, Vincent continued to sleep in his beloved coffin, because he was unable to come to terms with what happened and what he has become, certainly, but also because physically it was still too much for him. He still has to recover, adapt, struggle for every little thing. And we don't even know how much he needs to hold back to control his four roommates. And we are talking about powerful and dangerous creatures. Chief among these is Chaos, a primordial god of destruction. All this must have a weight, which certainly weighs on the body as well as the soul. In Rebirth this thing seems even more evident to me, starting from the phrase: "Being outside is exhausting, I hate it." Ok, it makes me smile too, if you think about how introverted, antisocial, etc, he is. Plus he's trying to understand and adjust to all the changes that have occurred during the thirty years he's lost, but perhaps the myriad stimuli in the outside world are also exhausting him physically. Because he is not alone, there are five of him inside him, and we don't know exactly how Vincent Valentine perceives the world and on which and how many levels. Certainly, as Rebirth points out, he is very sensitive to everything dark and supernatural.

The Rebirth also gives us the opportunity to better observe the transformation into the Galian Beast. Vincent grabs his head, writhes, screams and the beast takes his place. It is a painful process, which requires physical effort. Not only that, but by the end of the fight, Vincent is completely exhausted. He barely manages to get back on his feet, his arms dangling, his head too, and the steps that separate him from the crypt are difficult and very heavy to take. A painful sight to even watch (at least until he rolls over in the doorway, lol). And no, it doesn't depend on the attacks of Cloud and company, you just need to look at Reno's face after the clash in which sector 7 collapsed to realize it.

Vincent is not injured, his body is indestructible, he doesn't have a scratch, he doesn't limp, he doesn't hold his side or arm where he was hit. No. He is simply emptied, drained, exhausted in every cell of the body by the transformation. What he does is go back to sleep, he needs it, to recover from the effort. Only then will he join Cloud and the others on the Tiny Bronco. This also happens in DoC, during the first meeting/fight with Rosso the Crimson in the city of Edge. When Vincent regains control of himself, after Chaos' intervention, he collapses directly onto the streets of Edge. As long as Shalua gives him the opportunity and time to recover in the tube, at the WRO headquarters. The same thing will happen later after the battle with Azul the Cerulean. Vincent loses consciousness and later wakes up on the floor of the Shinra building. So to conclude, I always thought that yes, he loved to snooze when he was younger. Now he's dozing because he's a grandpa, and maybe he had nothing better to do in the basement of the Shinra Mansion, but he often really, really needs to rest. Physiologically speaking, as far as Valentine's physiology is known. Because being him, Vincent freaking Valentine, is quite a burden.

All the images do not belong to me, I thank those who shared them on the web!

[m4rs-ex3]

Top 5 children’s books?

oh my god yes how did you know that this has been an interest of mine lately

but only 5? hahahahhaha no.

10) the tale of peter rabbit (beatrix potter)

ok so this will come up a lot in this list so something you ought to know about me is that i grew up with a cd player at my bedside that played audiobooks for me every night as i fell asleep from ages 3ish-10. anyway this was one of those and i remember it just being so visceral for some reason. i also had (actually have bc i still have a lot of these) jemima puddleduck which didn't make nearly as much of an impression

9) revolting rhymes (roald dahl)

this book explains a lot about both my tastes and sense of humor. it is only now occurring to me how incredibly gay red and snow white are in this and i don't mean like "omg they're lowkey girlfriends" i mean like no this is a lesbian love story to the highest degree. anyway this one has a full animated movie i watched religously that is literally incredible and also free to watch online so i highly highly recommend watching it

8) a bad case of the stripes (david shannon)

don't even feel the need to explain this one bc y'all already KNOW

7) strega nona (tommie depaola)

this was an absolute childhood staple for me and the best reasoning i have is that i really love pasta

6) the fourteen bears, summer and winter (evelyn scott)

this one just has so much nostalgia for me. i remember my mom was really protective of this book (she'd had it forever) to the point that she kept it in her cabinet instead of on my bookshelf. it was such a treat whenever she brought it out. our favorite part wasn't even the book though; a couple pages are dedicated to showing all of the bears' different bedrooms which are all gorgeously themed and decorated and we loved going through and picking all our favorites. and now, our favorite thing to do together is watch house hunters, so this was pretty special

edit: just asked my mom about this, and turns out this book came out in the 70s and then was reprinted only once (that could be inaccurate idk that's just what she told me) and goes for hundreds of dollars online. i now understand why she never let me have it. it's still in her cupboard.

5) where the sidewalk ends (shel silverstein)

i love shel silverstein like nobody's business. i also have light in the attic and falling up (and read several others) but i'm pretty sure this was my first and my favorite. at like 7 i had the entirety of sarah cynthia sylvia stout memorized

4) the snow queen (sarah lowes)

this was a repeat listen for me. as evidenced by like 40% of this list i really loved fairytales and retellings, and this was my favorite amongst those (story wise). i'll forever have a soft spot for this story because of it. disney i will never forgive you

3) the twelve dancing princesses (brigette barrager)

another fairytale entry and while the 12 dancing princesses is a solid story (there's a reason the barbie movie was also one of my favs) the main reason is because this book is GORGEOUS.

also all of the princesses are themed around different flowers and i eat that shit up.

2) the seven silly eaters (mary ann hoberman)

it doesn't feel right to explain this story nor why i've always loved it as much as i do. it's just charmed me since i can remember and it was my favorite bedtime story for all my life. it's #2 because the following is more Iconic and Special to me, but in terms of books i think this is my favorite.

1) madeline (ludwig bemelmans)

i have very vivid memories of my obsession with madeline, more specifically the movie. when i was 5-6, i had to watch this movie every single day for months on end. i particularly remember one day when i was misbehaving at the grocery store and in order to get me to knock it off, my mom threatened to not let me watch it that day (it worked). i credit this as being my first hyperfixation and it's very special to me because of that. my love for madeline has actually resurfaced very recently when i found a copy at the thrift store (don't have my original) and bought it, and then a month or so later i got this adorable madeline ragdoll at a different thrift store. in conclusion i love her

[wake-me-up-inside-imagines]

Okok so I’m totally new to this whole A/B/O thing? What exactly is the “mating bite?” And could I request how Leo got his from his pack? It sounds scary, but I can’t imagine any of them (especially Micha) letting it be too bad

Ok this is gonna be a long winded post because there's so much to explain, so bear with me lol.

(tw for biting, mentions of sex, mentions of saliva)

In order to explain what a mating bite is, I'm gonna first explain what mating is. At it's most basic function, mating is just marriage for the omegaverse. However, it's even more binding than marriage because the more connected one gets with their future mate or mate, the more entwined their souls are, in a way. It's hard to explain, but the instincts people have in the omegaverse allow them to become more attached to their partner/pack on a level that isn't really achievable in the real world, binding themselves closer to their chosen mate(s) on a spiritual level. It's the closest thing to knowing someone inside out without actually being them.

Now if mating is like marriage, then the mating bite is a more physical version of a wedding ring. A mating bite is just two fang marks on the side of one's neck or the top of their wrist that signify they are mated. When two people or a pack are ready to become mates, they bite each other on one of those spots (it's typically done on the neck with smaller packs for visibility purposes, with larger packs expanding onto the wrists once the neck has been claimed).

Mating bites serve more than just a physical reminder of having a mate though. Once a mating bite is delivered, a little bit of that person's saliva is trapped within the bite underneath the scar that is left over afterwards. That little bit of saliva helps the person's mate to become more tied to them emotionally, changing their instincts to become even more responsive and alert to their mate. It's part of what makes mates much more connected to each other spiritually, as they are quite literally carrying a part of each other as long as they're mated.

As you mentioned, getting bit so hard it scars over sounds scary, but it's really not! It's actually quite pleasurable. For context, there are very specific spots on the neck and wrist that are meant to place mating bites. To encourage mating, people in the omegaverse evolved so that these specific spots release dopamine when bit, making the experience way more pleasurable than painful. Those spots are also designed to scar when bit instead of completely healing over so that the mark will stay.

As for how Leo got it, I'll probably make a story about it at some point, so I'll give you the quick, speed-explanation.

Because the mating bite is pleasurable, the most common time for people to mate is during sex. It happens a lot during heats/ruts, especially since hormones are higher, but even then people tend to do it a lot during sex. It doesn't have to be done that way, but it is the most common.

I mentioned this in a previous post, but Leo waited three years to mate with his pack just to make sure he was 100% sure he wanted to be mated. Because the likelihood of mating shoots up during heats compared to other times, Leo refused to spend his heats with his pack. He didn't want to end up mating in the heat of the moment and then regret it later, so he went through his heats by himself. The other four hated the idea of leaving their partner alone when he was so vulnerable, but they understood, doing what they could to support him in other ways.

And then one day...Leo came up to the pack and told them he wanted to spend his next heat with them.

They immediately understood what he meant by that, and when Leo's pre-heat rolled around, they made sure everything was as comfortable and preferable for mating as possible. Leo's heat started, and a week later, he was mated :)

(I forgot to mention this so I'm editing the post). One thing that's really cool about omegaverse as a concept is that it's very diverse depending on the author. While some things may stay consistent, no two omegaverses are the same! This is how my omegaverse works, but please understand that it might not be the same in other author's stories, and that's ok! The omegaverse is a fun and interesting way to explore different concepts and ideas, so I hope you explore some other author's interpretations too!

I hope that answered your questions!

[brynnsasha191]

So glad to find your blog! What a great place to discuss so many things! And here's something I've been wanting to discuss with someone for a long time and you partially mentioned. It's what the actors allow themselves to say/interpret about their characters. I think this is the biggest problem with the show, which causes a lot of misunderstandings and disagreements among viewers and fans. And it's not just about Olivia and Emily and their stance on Rhaenicent. Let me try to explain. Take Tom Glynn-Carney, an amazing actor and his Aegon in season 2 became a favorite for many. And in interviews he talked a lot about his character, about his emotions, feelings, relationships with his wife, brother, etc. But the problem is that they talk about it, but they don't show it in the show!!! Do you understand? Tom (and Phia) says "Aegon and Helaena are close and cherish each other in their own way", but the show barely shows their interactions. Tom (and Ewan Mitchell) says "Aegon loves Aemond, he respects him and he is the best sidekick and in general they are the best brothers in the world", but in the show it's the opposite. Tom says "Aegon loves his children, they are dear to him and their death destroyed him", but Aegon interacted with his children once, or rather with one of them, and it was of course nice, but also not enough to build a connection. Do you understand what I mean? The actors talk a lot, explain, but what's the point when there is none of this in the show? And I see 2 options here. 1) the actors in an attempt to attract fans try to improve/embellish their characters in every possible way. Like Olivia and Emily saying different things about Rhaenicent depending on the situation. Tom, who says that Aegon is actually good, but he is a victim or rather a misunderstood villain (ok, it takes place, but it does not cancel out all the shit that he was in the books and even in the series. Elementary in the violence against his own brother). Matt Smith, who says that Daemon loves Rhaenyra so much, but at the same time strangles and betrays her. Ewan and Phia, who talked about the close connection of their characters, which ultimately misled part of the fandom. Even in the theory that Aegon's children are not his, but Aemond's. Although this is of course more of a strong desire of shippers to pass off wishful thinking as reality, but in the end the actors refuted this. Tom literally said "Aegon's children, not Aemond's". In short, I think you understood what I meant. 2) bad script and final implementation. I don't rule out that a warmer relationship between Aegon and Helaena was written, but in the series they barely have scenes together. And even the actors themselves literally "forced" them to shoot the same scene on the stairs to show at least something between the characters and it's a fiasco. Not for the actors of course, they are just trying to make all this nonsense better. So it turns out that even if there was something in the script that would reveal the characters, but in the end it is cut (to leave unnecessary sex scenes for anyone, lol). So we have Emily, who said that Rhaenyra suffers a lot over Luke, but in the end we have 1 episode showing this. Phia says that Helena suffers a lot after Jaehaerys' death, but in the next episodes she is already fine. And okay, I understand that under all circumstances a lot is cut, but why not warn the actors and tell them not to say things that are not true. And I'm not saying to force them to remain silent. But at least not say something that primarily puts the show in a bad light. That's all I wanted to say. They just need to work harder on the plot and what the actors say in the promo.

Hello! I'm glad you enjoy my blog! It's a safe space for all things anti HotD lol. I'm glad you want to share your thoughts and opinions with me. There's a lot to get through here so buckle up and bear with me.

Now, I'll never say I hate the actors. But they all have very much missed the mark at times. While there are some points that the actors have made that I do agree with (few and far between these days) most of the time they're either saying something that contradicts the show, or they're saying something so obvious because it was in show but they're trying to sound intellectual about it.

I also have never like that none of the actors are actual asoiaf fans and none of them actually read Fire & Blood. We see from when they played asoiaf trivia that they really don't know much about the universe or GoT, which might be a silly think to be upset over considering that they are not in GoT but HotD. But I feel like there should still be a rule about knowing about the universe if you're acting in it. From what a lot of them have said, it doesn't even seem like they read F&B, which is a major problem because that's what they're adapting. And if they have claimed to have read it, they definitely don't mention it much. And they probably wouldn't end up with the same takes they currently have about their characters if they had read it.

The actors constantly misread their characters and their characters motives. How can we trust Emma to talk about Rhaenyra's inner feelings if they can't even get Rhaenyra's age right? (yes, Emma once completely messed up Rhae's age in an interview) which could also stem form a lack of coherence in the writers, but it could also stem from never reading F&B.

And you're right, the actors are either saying something that contradicts the show, or something another actor has said. It creates discord between fans who believe actors can tweet something into canon and fans who don't believe actors can tweet something into canon. It's hard to keep up with. And the PR team should advise them to stop analyzing their characters so much because do they really have that much of a right to constantly do that? And interviewers should really stop asking questions about the characters and start asking questions about the filming and auditioning process.

I agree with you entirely. Thanks for the ask!

[jrat226]

Alright so I watched disventure camp, is Italian TDI ripoff?, yes, is it good? I'd say it's pretty damn good once you get past some of the acting, but honestly it's cool so fuck it let's rank the season 2 characters (cause they're leagues better than season 1s cast)

1. James (I mean what's not to like the man has strategy, charisma, smarts, a healthy relationship, an amazing arc and character development, let's be honest he's the main character, there's a reason he won, plus he poisoned yul) "I can't replace your teddy bear but i can try"

2. Aiden (I love Aiden, that's it, he's just a funny little guy) "remember when you told me i needed a push.. well now it's your turn"

3. Connor (he was wasted potential in my opinion he should've acted as like a peacekeeper in the season and helped the teens with their problems, but still he's amazing) "raya was right adult connor fits much better with the kids at camp"

4. Rosa Maria (she's fucking awesome) "that's it I'm going to whoop his ass"

5. Yul (ok I hate this bitch, but it's fun hating him and omg I love this idea, the fruitiest man I've ever seen being, homophobic, sexist and racist is the funniest concept for a character ever conceived) "a latina stealing why am I not surprised"

6. Kai (peace and tranquility) "thanks everyone except you yul, go fuck yourself"

7. Hunter (I like hunters character, they ruined him and the poly couple in all stars but hey what can you do) "that didn't stop them from getting into my bed in the middle of the night"

8. Ally (gamer girl gf, good moments, solid character) (imma be honest i don't recall a single quote... Ehhh fuck it)

9. Tess (depressed goth gf, nice, solid character) "I'm still here aren't I?"

10. Lake (a lot of people like her, her friendships are cute but outside that she's mid I'm sorry) "I'm dead"

11. Maggie (she's cool her relationship with Kai is cute) *slap* "damn Oliver calm down"

12. Oliver (Oliver is chill, I like him, I liked his little side story)

13. Raya (ok I don't get the hype with raya, she's like a twist villain in a shitty movie, like cool she's a villain if only I was able to see that sooner instead of the last 4 episodes, like dead ass this is your queen??)

14. Karol (do I need to explain??, but I'll give her a point for being an animal person, that's something)

[sunflowersandsapphires]

Fall Drabbles, Day 5

prompt: pie

pairing: Frank Castle x fem!Reader

summary: You are not willing to accept that Frank doesn't like pie.

warnings: swearing, more sickly sweet fluff

a/n: This is set in my Gray Skies AU but you do not need to read that one to enjoy this drabble. I had a great time with this piece as well. Post divider once again from the lovely @saradika!

w/c: <1k

“I cannot believe you. How can you not like pie?” You giggled, looking at Frank in shock.

The large man shrugged, hint of a smile tugging at his lips. “Dunno. Was never my thing.”

“But there’s so many varieties!! Pumpkin, pecan, French silk, key lime, savory pies! You don’t like any of them?” 

“I didn’t know this was such a deal breaker for you, sunshine.” Frank chuckled, trying not to let his honesty betray his concern. 

“Oh it’s not a deal breaker,” You assured him, to Frank’s overwhelming relief. “Just means I’ll have to put in the effort to change your opinion.” 

“Oh yah?” Frank raised an eyebrow at you. 

“I’m a professional baker, Frankie. That is literally my job.” Planting a gentle kiss on his lips, you hovered your lips next to his ear and whispered menacingly. “You’ll never see it coming.” 

Frank laughed deeply, pulling you into a hug. “We’ll see about that sunshine. 

Glancing around your kitchen with a grimace, you began gathering the dirty dishes when a knock sounded throughout your apartment. 

“C’mon in!” You yelled above the clatter as you hurried to tidy up the huge mess you’d unknowingly created. 

“Jesus,” Frank whistled under his breath as he took in the state of your apartment. 

”I take my craft very seriously,“ You panted, leaning on the counter to catch your breath. 

Shaking his head, your boyfriend strode over to you, using a thumb to wipe off the smear of icing sugar on your nose. He chuckled, ”I can see that, darlin'. You did all this for me?”

“Of course, Frankie! It's fall, otherwise known as pie season! We have to find one you like.” You explained, taking him by the hand and dragging him to the table where you had laid out 7 different pies. “Ok so I didn't have time to make ALL of these but I chose my 3 favorite pies from around the city and made the other 4.”

Frank was blown away by the visible lengths you'd gone to for his benefit. It wasn't that he didn't like pie, it just had never really stood out to him. A pastry was a pastry, after all--if you put it on his plate he would polish it off all the same. The two of you had gone to a diner and shared a slice of pie that was fine, which he had admitted when he encouraged you to finish it off.

But he wasn't expecting your kindness and genuine care for him to run so deep. How often did someone love him to the point that an offhanded comment compelled them to go on a baking spree until they found his perfect bite? Had it ever happened before? He honestly wasn't sure, and that in itself was almost too much to bear. Everything you did, you did with your entire heart and he adored you for it.

Slightly overwhelmed, he sat down with a tinge of apprehension, which, of course, you picked up on. “I know I went a little overboard. Say the word and we'll pull the plug on this whole thing and I'll donate all these.” 

“Hell no, sunshine. Let's eat!”

You giggled, sitting beside him so that your thighs were brushing. ”Alright, well the 3 I bought were the cherry, the strawberry rhubarb, and the lemon meringue. The ones I made were pumpkin, french silk, apple, and pecan. And, I didn't include it in the count, but I made a chicken pot pie for myself for dinner and you're welcome to try that too!“ Huffing an exhale, you looked at him nervously. ”Saying all of that out loud really highlights how crazy this was. I am so sorry.“

Taking your hand, Frank brushed a kiss over your knuckles. “Thank you, darlin'. For goin' through all the trouble for me. I—I don't think anyone's ever been this devoted to making things that I like.” 

Smiling sweetly, you gave his stubbled cheek a kiss. “Shall we see if you like any of these pies?” 

“I like everything you make, sunshine” He chuckled, taking the fork from your outstretched hand. 

Giving an exaggerated groan, you rolled your eyes to him. “Well I wish I'd known that before going through all this TROUBLE.”

Frank gave a bellowing laugh, eagerly digging into the slice you placed before him. 

[rebouks]

Hello! I'm that anon who once asked you about the lots you use in your gameplay and whether you built them all. I'm so impressed that you create most of them yourself! But ever since you replied to that question, I've been trying to envision a lot for one of my upcoming gameplays, but I'm struggling to fully see it in my mind, so I was wondering if you'd mind giving some tips on your process of building your lots. Building is my weakest skill in the game, but I want to give it a try!

hello again anon!! i'm very flattered u think it's impressive 🥺 i truly love creating spaces for these guys! i'll try my best to kinda go into my process but be warned.. like anything else i do it's pretty much just chaos/winging it dkjsdkj (it'd be much easier if i used floorplans or smth simple so i could be like, here do this! but alas...)

okay i'm prolly gonna ramble a lot here but i mostly base my builds off random visions/future scenes that pop into my head or straight up vibes.. which isn't very helpful ik but hopefully if i explain it'll make a bit more sense!

so with Oscar's house above i knew i wanted it to be BIG, but i didn't want it to feel like a mansion they couldn't afford so i added some other houses on the lot and just gave em the biggest plot! i also knew i wanted it to be symmetrical, but only from the outside cos i wanted it to feel slightly chaotic on the inside, also hence the random tower addition on the left and the sunroom on the right.. like it used to be a big grand symmetrical "mansion" (prolly at the time it was built) but over the years kinda ended up as a convoluted mess left to rot until someone rescued it (yay for Oscar's impulsivity 🤸‍♀️) AND IT NEEDED AN ATTIC!! u kno cos where else would Clementine live?? 👻

so really i had no inspo pics or house plan layouts to go off here, just a vibe and an idea, i started with a rough shape and worked out all the kinks from there, then added the other lots.. be prepared to hate your wip and start over tho cos ig it's all part of the fun!

here we have an actual wip to use as an example! so with this one i basically knew i wanted a wrap around style house around a "courtyard" but since mt. komo is shit and doesn't have any decent sized lots we'll have to go with an L-shaped design and a third floor ig 😩 i started with the ground floor and just pissed around with the others until i ended up with smth just right, like anything else i do, building is just ruminating on an idea until i'm like.. yeah that works sdkjskj.. also handy to place the bare minimum furniture items as u go to get a feel of how the space does or doesn't work so u can fix it n stuff!

also feel free to make shit look strange if it works, for example these window placements look weird as hell on the outside, but real life houses aren't always symmetrical or perfect on the outside and we spend most of our time on the inside where the windows make perfect sense so.. yeah! i'm big on views from the INSIDE of the house so i just make stuff work, also big fan of using ivy/wall decs n stuff to "fix" the way it might look on the outside if needs be too..

the school i made for Robin n' co. was entirely built around this pool (cos it's IMPORTANT) and the fact that it had to have a glass roof (it just HAD to ok idk why but we must kneel to the vision when it strikes 🧎‍♀️) i tried to make the rest of it make sense around it tho, like maybe it was added on afterward so the rest is a pretty standard shape with offices n shit near the entrances etc.. ALSO (wait i actually need to explain smth else before we get to this also BUT BEAR WITH ME!)

ask yourself some questions (if u want? or just dl a house idk dskjdk)

i treat building similarly to writing and that means asking yourself some questions.. like you might ask why a character is doing/saying something, what happened in the past to make them this way? what're they aiming for in the future to choose these paths etc etc.. WELL.. what's this building for, who is it for, who chose to live here, who got stuck here, why do they like it, why do they hate it, etc etc.

we either get stuck somewhere we hate and it doesn't suit us, or we're lucky enough to choose somewhere that we love, but why? Oscar's house is sprawling and chaotic because they kinda are, and it suits them! all the random cupboards leading nowhere and the quirky additions are just perfect for them, if they were real people looking for a real house they'd view it and LOVE it, but other characters definitely would NOT 😅 the wip is neat and practical cos the people who're gonna live there are! 👀 and the school (see we got to that ALSO eventually) has that huge "grand" courtyard at the front that's actually pretty useless because it's a shitty comprehensive school that wants to give the image that it's decent, but actually it's a bit shit and there's nothing going on in the back, nowhere for the kids to play outside and very limited resources/equipment for them either.. like everything is built the way it is for a reason, which is why i think i find it so impossible to use other ppls builds, cos they don't fit all these visions in my mind...

ok i'm gonna shut up now but i HOPE this rambling mess somewhat explains how i go about starting a build and why.. i'm not sure i can help with the vision part since your brain is your own but floorplan websites and things like pinterest or even just google images are great for giving you ideas if you're struggling!