#okay i was NOT expecting to be able to update today but this kind of wrote itself

[boundinparchment]

Dream a Little Dream of Me - LII

Celestia had a cruel sense of humor. He knew this, even before his days as a student. But to be given a soulmate? Now, when he openly blasphemed against the cursed island in the sky? He would outlive you and the dreadful fated bond that haunted your shared dreams. There was little point in this. He could at least put a Vision to good use. People were nothing but disappointments. He had no use for you. Until you pulled the bow across your instrument and awoke a part of him long buried by self-hatred and arrogance. Soulmate AU; Il Dottore/Female reader w/ established personality and backstory. Slow burn. Lore and world speculation and interpretation within; follows canon story where possible. Fic is rated explicit; MDNI. Mind the tags. Chapter on AO3 here.

You walked barefoot across spongy, moist moss, enveloped in luxurious, dense flora.  Trees soared overhead, their trunks so thick it would take at least three people’s arm span to encircle just a single one.  Dusk birds let out call after all and the branches above jostled as squirrels and other animals darted through the heights.  The sun’s light was muted by the thick canopy, trickling through in long shafts where the layer was thinnest.

The air was heavy and sweat beaded across your forehead and at the back of your neck.

Despite lacking a compass and a map, you knew where you were going.  Nothing here looked familiar; it didn’t matter.

You came to a stream, the water gurgling quietly over the rocks as it ran towards its point of gravity.  Frogs chirped to one another in the twilight.  The surface shimmered where the sun managed to slip in.  Beneath your feet, tiny salamanders scampered through the soft silt.

Everywhere you looked teemed with sound, with life.

You dug your toes into the thick mud after stepping into the stream.  The water was cool around your ankles and clear as crystal.  You looked across the water when a tug pulled at your feet, silently urging you to the other side.  This stream rivaled even the narrower parts of Fontaine’s islands where the lake was thinnest; it was far wider than it looked at first glance.

It was pretty here but you couldn’t stay forever.  Not when the sun was already beginning to set.

Your feet parted from the mud with a wet sucking squish as you stepped forward and cautiously worked to find proper footing before putting your weight down again.  As you went, the mud seemed to realize it no longer had a hold on you and every step became harder.  Thankfully, you weren’t wearing shoes; you would have lost them by now.

Halfway across, the water up to your knees, you pulled and tried to shift your weight forward to no avail.  No matter how hard you tried, what way you moved, you couldn’t lift your leg again.  You frowned.  You weren’t sinking; that ruled out quick sand.  But you were now stuck in the middle of the stream and the sun was getting lower.

Would your steps be easier if you went back the way you came?  Maybe you could find a different way across that had a proper path.  Looking this way and that, you spotted no stones poking above the water as the stream stretched out in either direction.  Going back wouldn’t get you home, now would it?

Home.

Was that where you were going?

The tug from earlier crept up your ankles and sat low in your belly, still urging you onward as it curled up with other sensations that threatened to overwhelm you.  You needed to get across.

You wiggled your foot, loosening the mud and making the foothold wider.  With a little extra effort, your foot popped free and you were able to take another step.  You did the same with your other leg, every step growing easier as you worked your way to the other bank, silt clinging between your toes. 

On your last step, you overestimated the force and propelled yourself forward.  Instead of meeting the cool, wet ground, however, you immediately hit something hard, warm, and capable of sound.

“You could have made a bridge, you know."

Your hands searched and found that you hadn’t run into a wall at all but rather a person.  Their shirt was soft and their muscles were flexed from your impact and relaxed under your touch.  Your legs were precariously arranged, their thigh pressed against almost against you.  Every point where your bodies touched burned and yet soothed you like spring water.

“Or did you forget how to influence your dreams, rooh 'albi?”

Startled, you pulled away, just enough to get a look at the stranger’s face.  Zandik stared down at you, red eyes gleaming and a knowing smile on his lips.

“It worked,” you whispered, eyes wide as your hands traced the planes of his chest and reached for his shoulders.  “You’re…we’re…”

You took his face between your hands, tracing the familiar shape of his jaw and cheeks.  Emboldened, you pushed his hair back from his face and found the texture was the same as it was when you were awake.  Enhanced, even.

Zandik shook his head slightly and you pulled your hand away from his hair.  He took your wrist in his hand gently and guided it back to his cheek but not before pressing his warm lips to your palm.

The sun was lower still, the rays of light at the mercy of the canopy overhead again from its position.  But at this angle, Zandik’s eyes caught the sun and you swore you never saw more brilliant gems.  Certainly not in Fontaine.  And it was all yours to admire. 

Around you, the frogs continued, and the birds sang to one another.  The sounds never stopped but all that surrounded you was the wildlife.

“It’s quiet now,” you whispered.  “There was always wind before…it carried voices, echoes.”

“The Segments.  It was never possible to be separated from them before,” Zandik replied without missing a beat.

You nodded, recalling that they did always sound like him, even if you never clearly caught the words they spoke.

“There’s still much to study and take note of,” he continued.  “I don’t recall the environments being this vivid, for one, nor do I recall experiencing such a tangible draw to you before.  I have a perfectly fine sense of direction.  Perhaps that’s the magnetic draw others mentioned in their accounts…it’s quite distracting when one is attempting to understand their environment…”

“I felt that too,” you replied, keenly aware of how hot you felt and the demanding, burning ache that rooted itself in your very being.  You resisted the urge to buck your hips.

Zandik drank in your expression and gave a low chuckle before dipping his head down to meet yours.

“As pleasurable as that would be, it’s best to save that until we fully understand what changed,” he murmured.

So many questions came to mind but one stood out further from the rest.

His lips met yours with a familiar certainty.  The fiery desire burned low, stoking embers while keeping the sweeping flames at bay and something deep inside you finally settled.  When you finally parted, your mind was clear.

“Then what shall we do first, mon rêve?”

The next time you saw the sun, it was streaming through wide open windows, glaringly bright.  At first, it felt accusatory, demanding why you were still in bed when its warmth was here to draw you out instead.  Dust motes caught your eye and curiously, you stuck out a hand to change their course.  They danced around your fingers, the tiny particles floating elsewhere, but they did not gravitate to you as they had before.

Static, still.

Silence had crawled into the bedroom and muffled all noise.

And yet the notes were never louder.

You turned your head slowly and shifted your legs, only to find that Zandik was next to you, intertwined with you.  His arms held you in the same fashion you fell asleep in (he would bemoan that later, you were sure, when his shoulder was not quite right), his breathing even.  As soon as your head settled, his eyes flickered open and the excitement of multiple successes was palpable on every breath he took.  Instead of either of you throwing back the covers, however, you shifted and found a more comfortable position, pressed against one another, noses brushing.

“If I do not record this now, I fear I will lose it.”

His mouth was dry but he was still far from incentivized to leave you.  New-found energy hummed through him and manifested itself in his fingers finding yours, tracing every callous and every knuckle.  You could not bring yourself look away from his eyes unless it was to press your lips to his forehead, eyelids, cheeks, and lips.  Every touch was a different texture, a different rhythm to the syncopation that only the two of you seemed to understand. 

Your free hand traced notes across his arm and collarbone, humming all the while.  Zandik seemed to relax ever so slightly beneath your hands, tilting his head as you put note in front of another, his own musings falling into rhythm with your notes.

Neither of you acknowledged parting nor leaving the bed; it was not so much a conscious decision as it was a drifting of relieving touches.

Air was easier to breathe and you finally realized the color of the couches in the other room as you took up your cello.  Zandik was immediate in his search for paper and a pen, reaching for his notes to solidify the process that brought you both here, to this state of existence.

Notes flowed at a steady, even pace, and you only broke away from your bow long enough to draft.  You felt as if you were putting yourself into the very ink you laid upon the paper, the very sounds you brought to life.

You had no concept of time.  When you finally wrote Fin at the bottom of your last page, Zandik peered out from the bedroom, papers in hand and delight dancing across his face.

Time was irrelevant in such things, in such moments.

For once, you never felt more alive.

[littlebluentebook]

Alastor x Reader pt.6

A/N Oh my goodness! I didn't expect the story to get this much attention! Im going to do some sort of second story where Alastor and the reader are in hell. If theres no objections I'll also feature some helluva boss characters (just to advance the plot!)

I am very sorry for not updating! I went out of town, nearly broke my hip, got sick, and started a new job all in the last 2 weeks. I should be able to post once every three days now :)

Thank you to everyone reading the story! I love sharing my ideas and feel free to reach out if there are any stories you want to see!

TW-Animal Blood(?)

Chapter 7

You woke up in Alastor's arms. It wasn't on purpose! You both had agreed to split the bed, pride getting in the others way. Apparently, somewhere in the night you each reached for the other. Not minding the extra warmth, you fell back asleep. There was no point in moving away; you liked him, he was comfy, and kept you warm. The second time you woke up, the sun was bright and the bed was empty. Worried you checked the clock to make sure you hadn't overslept to open the shop. You had forty five minutes to get the store open. Not as much time as you would have liked, but also not anything too out of your range.

"Ah! My sleeping beauty, glad you're now awake!" a voice said from the doorway. Alastor? You thought he had left. "Come now! I have made us breakfast."

Alastor could cook. Breakfast tasted like it was picked up from a five star restaurant on the more expensive side of town. Over breakfast he told you that he was unable to leave such a beautiful person alone and you needed the rest from the previous night. He actually didn't leave you at all that day.

He sat talking with you in your shop keeping well mannered company. Alastor would never admit it, but he absolutely loved listening to you talk. He spent so much time talking on the radio it was nice to finally be listening to others. He never really cared for sewing but asked you questions about how you did certain things and complimenting your stitch work. He also would assist you while you worked; measuring, flipping things right side outing grabbing fabric as needed. He liked feeling useful to you and watching you work on something you were passionate about.

:Thank you so much for your help today Allie."

"Allie?" He tilted his head like a puppy hearing 'no' for the first time.

"Yeah! Like a nickname," you beamed at him. Alastor mulled the name over in his head before deciding it was okay when it rolled off your tongue and into his ears. No one else could ever be allowed to call him Allie aside from you.

"Hmmmm. Alright" He was at a loss for a nickname truly just wanting to call you his. "Why don't we go and fetch ourselves dinner. I know the most exquisite place!"

"that would be lovely!" Your demeanor was much calmer than your racing thoughts. First, Alastor had stayed the night and made breakfast. Secondly he spent the entire day with you. And now he wanted to take you to dinner! You felt like a romance character from the books you had read and heard stories of.

He had helped you close the shop, took your arm in his (it was the only way you two ever walked together) and he led the way to the restaurant.

It was a nice place with candles and flowers on the table. There was a live band playing softly to entertain guests as they dined.

Alastor was sweet and kind with you, he made excellent recommendations about what drinks to try and meals to order. You both split a cake together for dessert. The night was wonderful, absolutely perfect! The only thing that there you off was the way in which Alastor ordered his steak.

"Alastor!" you had whisper-yelled "that cow is so undercooked I can still hear it moo-ing in the fields. Do we need to have the waiter take it back for just a moment longer?"

"Haha oh no darling! I just enjoy my cut of meat like this. It holds so much more flavor!" You gave him a quizzical look swearing you had just seen blood dark as your wine pool on the plate.

When your night had come to an end, Alastor had walked you home and kissed your cheek. It had left you red and blushing thinking about it as you slept.

The next morning you had awoken ready to start your chores. You folded the blanket and pajamas that Alastor had borrowed and cleared a drawer for the items to reside in. Today you had a new activity you hadn't done in years.

You walked down the stairs leading to your shop and to the circular display table at the center of your shop. Grabbing the wilted flowers and vase you got to work and put them in your oven to dry them out. You loved keeping gifts, flowers were beautiful but difficult to keep but you made it work.

The entire day you were all that was on Alastor mind. He simply could not get enough of you despite spending the entire day together before. He was talking to his mother about the feeling and how he had never experienced it, unsure of what to do he was searching for advice. His mother was not helping the situation, she merely laughed at him. "Oh Al, why don't'cha go onna date together and court the poor thing!" What if you didn't like him back? What if he made a total fool of himself. His mother could sense his worries, "well whoever can put up with ya for a full day definelty doesn't not like you." She pinched his cheeks and went back to cooking for the both of them

[fatuismooches]

Actually crying i got kicked out of my tumblr account for like a few months :( anyways got back into my account yay! As a celebration i offer some rot!

Ok so i think everyone agrees that Capitano is larger than the average human right? big hands, big body etc. So what ends up happening is he gets items custom made for him. But the one thing he cant make larger is flowers. The last thing you'd think this guys worst enemy would be flowers. So when he decides to attempt to grow some flower for you he fails horribly. His custom watering can always has too much water, his soil isnt ' healthy enough ', the list never ends! it seems everything he tries fails so in the end he has no choice but to give up.

So when he comes to you with his regrettably brought bouquet of flowers and confesses he attempted to grow them the last thing he expected was for you to offer to help him. Turns out you know a thing or two about flower growing from your family so you and him grow flowers together! You help him update the soil, use the right amount of water and in the end its a success. The accomplishment he felt as you gave him a single Heliotrope ( search up what it means hehe ) from the many now grown flower made him happy he was able to do it with you, because everything is better when he does it with you.

ASDFGHJKL i felt a little sappy today and I conjured this up lol -Jellofish Anon!

You always express your love for your husband in many different ways, and Capitano can't help but want to naturally reciprocate. However, he isn't very good with his words around you. And despite how much he loves you, his actions can be stiff and unsure. So he opts for gift giving. But then he realizes he's never bought anything like this before and now he's unsure if you'll actually like a gift. This is very hard for the First Harbinger. But flowers. Flowers are a universally loved gift, right? People gift them all the time. They would be nice, he thinks. Should he ask Childe which are the best flower shops around? But then he thinks once more - you always love to give him handmade gifts imbued with your love. Perhaps if he did the same, you'd love it more? He is willing to try, for you.

Unfortunately, as many of his attempts at trying normal hobbies turn out, the process of growing flowers for you ends up as a failure. He's not very surprised, but still a bit disappointed. He wanted to portray his love for you as deeply as possible. You're both amused, touched, and a bit sad by his continued devotion.

Capitano is very much happy when you decide to teach him the art of gardening. He loves it when you teach him new things. It's funny because he's a quick learner with a lot of things, as he observes very carefully, but in practice, he struggles with such delicate movements. But you keep supporting him no matter what! (Eternal love and devotion <33)

(Okay but the idea of things being made bigger for him is really funny... I like to imagine the doorways in his mansion had to be modified so he doesn't have to keep bending down to enter and exit. They're kind of weird yet funny for an average-height person to walk through... Not to mention, his claymore is much bigger than the average-sized one. This is fine but it scares some recruits because of the size compared to their own body.)

(The other Fatui/employees, watching their Lord Harbinger water flowers expertly from afar:)

[spaceisout]

𝙨𝙚𝙘𝙧𝙚𝙩 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙡𝙙 // 𝙠𝙚𝙞𝙜𝙤 𝙩𝙖𝙠𝙖𝙢𝙞

Words: 2.100

Summary: being married young was never in either of your plans, more or less being married to a hero and a quirkless human. still, it made an interesting switch to your lives, one you might not regret.

Warning(s): angst, fluff,

A/n: I apologize for the delayed update, my week became a lot more busier than I had expected. Also taglist is available to anyone who would like to be updated. Any donations are appreciated it is a way I can help contribute to pay bills while I'm able to get a job <;3

Links: donate to the author, masterlist (coming soon), current series list

Taglist: @alligator-person @bakugosgirl01 @deathkat657 @justanerd1 @multilingual-birb @urdecentartist09

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4 ◁ II ▷ 6

"Woah what is going on?" Keigo asked bewildered.

You quickly walked passed him to your room, "I have stuff to prepare for today's school event!"

He scratched the side of his head watching as you walked from one room to the other. "Well... is everything okay? Do you need a hand?"

"I have most things done." You calmly said grabbing two bags from your room and settling it down beside the living room couch.

"Today's..." Keigo mumbled knowing today was an important day. You had mentioned it to him a few days prior to today's big date. "Oh!" He snapped his fingers together, remembering. "The sport's festival!"

"Yeah!" You exclaimed going into the kitchen and taking out some ingredients from the fridge.

"Do you need a hand?" He walked over, standing in front of the counter watching as you started to make small balls of rice in your hand.

"Um can you get me out the filling? I forgot to take it out." You answered, making a small curved spot in the rice to put in the filling.

"Sure!" Taking the container out labeled with "rice ball filling" he placed it next to you down on the marbled counter. "Can I help make some of them?"

A smile rested on your lips, nodding. "Make sure you wet your hands in the water so the rice doesn't stick to your hands."

"Got it."

"Have you made some before?" You asked grabbing a spoon and scooping some of the filling to put in the middle.

"I used to make them plain when I was a kid." He answered as he recalled his childhood being difficult for a kid his age. "We were poor... sometimes it was hard to make any money to bring home and put food on the table. My father was a criminal who stole, my mom didn't have the guts to leave him. So I had to be creative with the food we did have."

Your eyes began to water. You knew very little about his past life, he only said bits and pieces assuming it wasn't something he was comfortable talking about. You couldn't picture a child his age going through such trauma and violence. Keigo was the sweetest person you had ever met, realizing he went through something like that made your heart ache for him.

Keigo noticed you had become quiet, the half made rice ball sat on the empty plate. He placed his own down and turned to look at you, silent tears ran down your cheeks with your hands clenched tightly.

"(name)... are you―?"

You shook your head, "I―I'm fine..." Sniffling you wiped away your tears. "I'm sorry..."

"Hey, why are you crying?" He softly spoke, placing both hands on each of your cheeks and wiped the tears that escaped gently with his thumbs.

"It's just―" you sniffled trying to speak but became difficult to say anything when you kept remembering what he had told you. "You're an incredible human being... so honest and kind. Someone who doesn't hesitate to save an innocent bystander or lend a hand to someone in need. Knowing you went through something so traumatizing... it breaks my heart because you don't deserve that."

His eyes softened, pulling you into a tight embrace. Gently he caressed the back of your head, smiling with such fondness knowing you cared.

"It happened a long time ago―"

"S―still... I never pictured your past to be so harsh to you." You shut your eyes tightly trying to stop the tears. "I'm sorry I wasn't there to lend a hand o―or even be there to console you when you were just a child."

"(name)." he kissed the side of your head, "I'm okay... actually the day that Endeavor caught my father and put him away in jail was something I never expected to feel good about."

You slightly pulled away to look at him. "R―really?"

Keigo nodded holding the side of your face. "It gave me the ability to take that weight off of my chest. He wasn't a good person and knowing he was gone made me feel reassured that my mom would be safe."

"Have you seen her... at all?"

"I went to go see her after I was out of the hospital when everything happened but she wasn't there anymore."

"I'm sorry... I―I did not know..."

Smiling small he rubbed both sides of your arms comforting you, "Don't apologize, maybe for time being it's best if she's away from the city for awhile. I want her to be safe, who knows maybe in the future I'll take you to go meet her."

"I would like to meet her someday." His wings slightly opened wide hearing you. "I want to... understand where you came from and learn more about you."

There was no clear answer as to what it was about you or the way you talked that brought him comfort. A feeling he had long forgotten about since he was a kid, the longer he stayed around with you the more he was starting to see what it meant to care about someone else.

The sound of your phone ringing broke the moment apart, you pulled away to answer the call. Meanwhile, a smiling Keigo went back to making the small rice balls for your students.

"(name)! Are you almost here?" Mio asked as she started to set up the tables while holding her phone between her ear and shoulder.

"Y―yeah, I am currently finishing getting everything else that I need." You said, "How's the set up going?"

'We are currently half way, the students are doing some last minute practice for the event."

"Are the parents starting to arrive as well?" You asked.

"Um some... but there's still a lot more left for them to arrive." She explained, "Do you need any help?"

"No it's alright I should be leaving in a couple of minutes." Walking over to the counter you started to pack what was already done.

"Great! I kinda need a hand with some last minute things―" Mio looked over at two of her students playing with the water. "Rei! Chi! I told you both to place the water balloons not to throw them around." She sighed, "I have to go before these two end up soaking wet, I'll see you soon."

Chuckling you nodded, even though she couldn't see you. "Okay, good luck with those two."

"These rice balls are done." Keigo proudly smiled as they were individually wrapped tightly in seran wrap.

"Keigo, they look amazing!" You smiled at him, "Thank you for helping me out."

"Is there anything else I can help you with?" He leaned over the counter to look at you.

"Thank you for the the offer, but everything else is already handled."

He slightly pouted, "Okay."

Walking over to him you held the side of his face gently. Keigo leaned in to your touch feeling goosebumps rise on his body.

"It sucks you can't be there to meet my students." You half smiled, "They would have loved to see you."

"Trust me it would have been an honor to meet the kids who are being taught by an amazing teacher."

Leaning in, you kissed his cheek softly. "I should get going."

Keigo nodded letting you go. He ended up calling a taxi for you to take you to school along with helping you to carry your belongings and food.

Resting his forearm against the doorway, "Let me know when you arrived?"

"I will." You said and waved at him goodbye.

He waited for you until he made sure you left safely to school and quickly got ready to leave.

Upon arriving at school you thanked the driver and did your best to juggle all the things you had to bring.

"Woah." A chuckle was heard, coming from behind you. "How much stuff did you bring?"

Looking over your shoulder you saw it was Hizashi. "Care to lend a hand though?"

"Sorry," smiling he walked over and grabbed the bags off of your shoulders. "I did not expect you to bring these many things."

"I saw how hard everyone was working and wanted to make some food, or well treats for them." You explained walking beside him.

"Did your husband lend you a hand?"

"He did," you smiled walking inside the building. "I hope everyone likes the rice balls."

"You did the same filling?"

"Yup!"

"Then everything will be fine." Hizashi assured you, "All the kids are excited to begin soon."

"Hizashi!" Rapid footsteps could be heard getting louder as they approached you both. "We need your help setting up the last of the tables outside please."

He sighed, "I thought Rei was helping you Mio."

"He was called in to the principal's office, there's only one more table left to set up... I promise!" Mio clasped her hands together, begging. "Please?..."

"Alright." Placing the things down he motioned for her to lead the way, "I'll be back to help you (name)."

You waved him off, "I got this, there's no need to."

"Thank you!" Mio exclaimed, relief she quickly walked down the hallway and out to the open field.

As you were putting your things away and leading the food onto your small cart you got a message from your sister.

Himiko | 8:05 AM

I wanted to let you know that I talked with mom and dad about your situation.

"You're kidding right?..." you cursed under your breath immediately replying to her back.

You | 8:06 AM

Why did you even think that was going to be okay? They know about it, I agreed to do this.

Your phone then started to loudly ring in the empty classroom, with your sister's name flashing on the screen.

"I am not going to stand by and let you stay with him!" Himiko expressed, "This isn't the life you should be living."

"And I told you HImiko to stop questioning everything I do." You continued without even taking a moment to breathe, you were livid. "Why do you insist on resolving an issue when there isn't one?!"

"Because there is! Do you know how fucked up it is for you to have been part of the bargain in order for dad to get financial help?!"

You tried your very hardest to calm down the pulsing feeling in your head by breathing in and out deeply. "Look, Himiko this marriage isn't yours to butt into."

"What happened to my sister who wanted to pick out her special partner?" She questioned, "The one who couldn't wait to find the one and be happy with someone who actually cares about you? Are you seriously telling me that you do not care about that stuff anymore?"

"I have always dreamed of having someone special in my life but things sometimes don't go the way you want them to okay-"

"I know right now you're too new at your marriage and you do not fully understand what it means t be tied down to one person."

"Yes I do!" You retorted but of course it wasn't enough for your sister.

"No you do not, (name). The further you stay in this arranged marriage the more miserable you'll be." She ran her fingers through her hair, sighing deeply. "I've seen it first hand myself... people change and not for the better. Being in secret and locked up in a foreign place does things to you. I don't want my sister to go through that not if I can help it."

"I'm sorry you think that way... but my situation isn't the same. Keigo is the sweetest person I have met, he's attentive and caring." You said trying to open her eyes to how your marriage really was. "He always makes sure that I am okay and looks out for me. We wait up for each other when the other gets home late a-and we stay up talking about our day." A smile formed on your lips as you recalled each moment with him. "I may still not know what marriage is... but this is the best relationship I ever been in Himiko. And I am not going to let your insinuations and judgement ruin something that might evolve."

Himiko's voice faltered, "You're going to regret it, (name). And I won't hesitate to tell you I told you so."

"Maybe I will... or maybe I won't. That doesn't mean I'm going to sit back and listen to you. So you can try all you want... but I'm not going to give up on Keigo."

You ended the call before you let her get in another word. It pained you to fight with the only sibling you had in your life, but you were going to stand your ground no matter what.

Blinking away the loose tears you grabbed your full cart and made your way to where your students were waiting for you. This day was about them and you weren't about to ruin it with your problems or negative emotions.

"Miss, (last name)!" Sato exclaimed running over to you. Her little arms wrapping around your waist as he bend down to hug her with one arm as well. "It's about to start!"

"I know," you smiled. "Are you excited to have some fun?"

She confidently smiled looking up at you. "I'm ready to win."

"I can tell you won't be one to give up without a fight."

Sato nodded, "Do you need help Miss?"

"It's actually not a lot but thank you for offering to help out." You said, "You should get warmed up in the meanwhile."

"I'm waiting for Sayo and Tadashi too!" She mentioned, "Suzuki is with his parents."

"I see, did yours arrive yet?"

"Yup! They promised to cheer me on and watch me from the stands!"

"I'm glad to hear that-"

"Hana! Let's go take a picture before the events starts sweetie." Her mom yelled.

Sato nodded at her direction and turned back to look at you. "I promise I'll make you proud!" She waved at you as she ran back to her parents.

You smiled back waving at her as well.

Sometimes it was crazy to see that one day your students will end up graduating soon. All hope you is that they end up continuing with their lives, happy without any worry or caring about anyone else's opinion about themselves. You wish you could shield them from harmful things, but you knew those lessons are some they need to learn as well.

A little over an hour later and the event was finally beginning. All the classes from different grades were already sorted into different groups for the events. The teachers stood on the sidelines waiting for it to start.

"Miss (Last Name) would you do us the honors and start the event?" The principle asked as she handed you the microphone.

"Of course." Taking the microphone you walked over to the small podium where one of the students stood on. Turning on the mic you then spoke, "Hello, everyone! I'm very happy to see so many parents joining us for this special fun event. I know all of our kiddos have practiced non stop to make this a memorable day. We hope you enjoy yourselves and cheer them on as loudly as you can. Now we will be listening to one of our top students, Haru Shiota."

You gave the student and encouraging smile as you handed him the microphone. "You've got this."

They nodded and took it with shaky hands. His eyes roamed the huge crowd of unknown adults and students.

"T―thank you... f―for joining us today!" Shiota stuttered, "We hope to make you p―proud!"

Everyone clapped, you ruffled his hair a bit trying to comfort him. Luckily he was able to breathe again, with a bounce in his step he got off the podium and made his way back to his group.

"The first event will be an obstacle course!" You announced, "Ready?" There was a pause, everyone eagerly waiting for you to say the final word. "Go!"

As soon as the students began to run, the parents started to scream loudly to make sure they heard them. Some of them even ran along with them to get pictures of their child running. It was honestly such a heart warming event to see.

"They're getting close aren't they?" Mio spoke as she walked over to stand by your side.

"Yeah, it's going to be such a close call." You said watching intently as one of your kids was getting closer to third place.

"Do you think your husband would like these type of events?"

"Hm... most likely yeah." A smile lifted on the corner of your lips. "His childhood was very different I'm sure he would have loved to even be part of it."

Mio smiled, "I'm glad to see he's making you happy."

You cheered on your students on as they got closer to the end of the obstacle course.

"Go, Sato!" You yelled, clapping. "You're so close!"

In a moments notice, she was able to take over second and first place in the end. The first win officially went over to your class.

"Yeah!" Mio yelled cheering her own students for winning second place.

Grabbing the mic you spoke into it again, "Congrats to Sato for grabbing first place along with the other two students, Tanaka and Yoshida for winning second and third! Everyone did such an amazing job. Please make sure to get ready for the second event."

"Ooh did you make the rice balls?!" Mio exclaimed as she saw some of the students and staff walking over to the tables filled with food.

"Actually my husband did..." You shyly spoke trying to get used to referring him as your husband.

"I need to try them then! Do you want me to bring you one?"

You shook your head, "I had one earlier, go and enjoy them!"

Mio did not waste another second and quickly headed over to the food section.

A sigh escaped your lips as you closed your eyes then opened them again. Your body started to feel tired, it was mostly mental exhaustion from earlier. Still, it sucked that the people you thought would support you the most were the ones hurting you.

"Miss (Last Name)!" The principal exclaimed, "I forgot to tell you that we have a few guests today!"

You looked at her with a puzzled look, "Guests?..."

She nodded eagerly, smiling from ear to ear. "I was able to talk to some of the heroes and they accepted our invitation―"

A sudden force of wind then grabbed everyone's attention. Hizashi tried to hold onto the tables steady in case they fell over. Mio did her best to hold on to the shade covers as well.

You lifted your arms up to cover yourself form the dust that was picked up because of the wind.

"I apologize for arriving late, I hope the fun hasn't ended yet."

Immediately you recognized that voice, your eyes widened in shock not believing who was standing a few feet away from you.

Keigo smiled at everyone, the kids were shocked seeing he was there in person. But it warmed his heart knowing that he was able to brighten up their day. His eyes scanned the crowd searching for you. A frown started to form on his face until he finally found you.

His eyes glowing brighter than before, he waved at everyone but his eyes pointed at your direction. You couldn't help but smile seeing him, a slight blush covering your cheeks.

It wasn't only him who had arrived, there was also Endeavor and Best Jeanist along with other future heroes who had accompanied them.

The principal quickly grabbed the mic, "Everyone, we have some special guests! Let me introduce you to some of the top heroes of Japan, Endeavor, Hawks, and Best Jeanist! Along with some of Japan's future heroes from U.A High!"

It was unbelievable.

Your students ran eagerly over to them, Endeavor was smiling at them while Best Jeanist crouched down to ruffle their hair.

"Wow, I did not think you'd be able to convince them to come (name)!" Mio said, watching in the same shocked smiled expression as you.

"I―I didn't..." You explained, "The principle was actually the one who made it possible."

"Well it was your suggestion," Hizashi said standing beside you, "I'm glad it worked out in the end."

Keigo smiled, waving at everyone.

"I can't believe you didn't come through the main door." Best Jeanist said.

"Well I do have wings you know, why not make an epic entrance?" He smirked.

"Because we came together? It would have been best for all of us to show up." Endeavor added.

Best Jeanist shook his head and walked over to the students that were waiting to talk to him.

The students from U.A also interacted with them, some of the teachers even asked them questions.

But the certain golden brown eyes couldn't keep himself from looking at your direction. You had to tell him with your eyes to stop looking over at you and to focus on them.

"Is Hawks, checking you out?" Mio said.

"W―what no!" You retorted quickly looking away.

"He's curious about you, damn even though you're married you are still getting hit on." She whined, "No fair!"

"Don't be jealous there's guys who check you out too Mio." Hizashi said.

"Yeah but what good does it do if none of them ask me out?!"

Unbeknownst to you, Keigo started to walk over to you three with such confidence in hopes of getting a reaction out of you. There was immediate silence as he looked at you guys. His eyes going from Hizashi to Mio and finally landing on you.

He stretched out his hand, "You must be the teacher the kids keep talking about am I right? Miss (Last Name)?"

You wanted to physically fan yourself to calm down but you knew it would be too obvious. With a calm smile, you shook his hand not being able to ignore how perfectly it molded together with his own.

"I―It is very nice to meet you, Hawks."

[katethevampire]

All right so the new episodes just came out like 20 minutes ago for me (oh yeah me from the future here it ended up taking me about 3 hours to finish watching the episodes cuz I kept pausing to write stuff in between so uh yeah lol) so everything under the cut will be my live reaction to everything. I'll add time stamps so you know where I'm at in the episodes. I can guarantee you that I will be sticking to my promise about potentially eating paper if I'm wrong about Sir Pentious not dying. Which honestly now I'm not sure if anyone will die, it was pretty much confirmed in a live stream that angel dust isn't going to be the one to die so my money is on one of the Angels. Also I'm using voice to text and while I'll try and fix any misspellings or wrong words I might miss them.

LOTS OF SWEARING PROBABLY also I very much abuse capslock

EPISODE 7

00:51- I love Sir Pentious looking at Keke I just thought I should mention that

01:03- OH MY GOD NO KEKE MOVED TO HIS LAP AND HE'S PETTING HER I LOVE HIM SM

01:10 aw Alastor was sleepy you guys woke him up!

01:22- I CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE RAZZLE AND DAZZLE BEING CUTE CHARLIE IS CRYING

01:29- he did the gay little hand thing

01:50- okay so I've already seen this part because of the small leak but I cannot get over the fact that Alastor has his shoes on the bed!! Like man take those off you're getting it dirty!!!!

01:59- mfs kicking his feet on the bed acting like a high school girl about to ask out her crush on the phone at a sleepover like dude you're a serial killer you can't do this to me 😭 also I should probably slow down cuz I'm making an update literally every 2 seconds

02:18 BROS CHECKING HIS NAILS AND DOING THAT POSE WHILE MAKING FUN OF HER ABOUT THE FACT THAT SHE UNINTENTIONALLY MIGHT HAVE CAUSED THE DEATHS OF MILLIONS 💀💀💀 so fruity i love

2:33- Alasto be like "it's called masking deary. Ever heard of it?"

2:44- if he wasn't saying this in such an evil manner right now I'd be saying he's so me frfr

3:07- what do I even say to that line. He popped off but also like respectfully I think I've heard a third grader say the exact same thing

3:53- OKAY SO I WAS GOING TO SAY SOMETHING BUT I'VE COMPLETELY FORGOTTEN LOOK AT THIS FRAME, this could easily be the profile picture for someone's film review channel and I'm not 100% sure that people will understand what I mean by that unless you know a very specific person

04:38- Alastor is in his hat man era

4:33- okay so a few things, thank you subtitles for telling me that the music is edgy I feel like just the word tense would have worked on its own but I appreciate it nonetheless. Number two, I don't like seeing the girlies be mad at each other :(

05:34 I will support my boy Sir Pentious through and through he did nothing wrong!!

06:54- not the voice I was expecting for Rosie but pop up Queen she speaks the truth

07:24- ROSIE KNOWS WHAT YOU ARE ALASTOR. Also his confusion, I love him so much

11:04- she's kind of like that one Pokemon

Ad time!- I DON'T CARE ABOUT VITAMIN PILLS THAT DOUBLE MY LIFESPAN

11:13- catabettes! Cannibals and catabettes!!! This is going into my vocabulary from now on. Also this frame that I paused at I love her face.

11:57- ugh, susan. All my homies hate Susan

12:54- I have a dream, I'm here to cause a scandal in the cannibal square

13:37- :( well it wasn't obvious to me I just thought the x over the eye was to look cool :(

14:35- SONG FUCK YEAH

15:26 If this song came out years ago I know for a fact there would have been an undertale parody version of it. Also I just got a cosmic brownie and some chocolate milk let's go guys we're eating good tonight

16:00 HOLY FUCKING SHIT SHE CAN JUST GROW BACK HER WINGS

16:30- therapist Rosie is not something I thought I'd be seeing today but honestly I love it. Also I don't think I'm going to be able to finish these episodes today because I'm only a little over 15 minutes through and I've been watching for like almost over half an hour and also I just realized that what if Lucifer is the one that dies?

18:12 ALASTOR GAVE HER HIS MICROPHONE I'M GOING TO EXPLODE INTO A BAJILLION CRYING PIECES RAHHHHHH

19:38 I'm going crazy I'm going insane right now bro literally what how I don't know what to say I love this act I don't know, it's just really good I don't know what to say like this is cool I don't I DON'T KNOW! IT'S I I LIKE IT everybody in cannibal town is cool and I like them and it's like 10 seconds later now and they're literally So based like free food like so me I don't know I'm just rambling at this point

20:56 ALASTOR AND ROSIE'S LITTLE DANCE THEIR LITTLE TIPPY TAPS OH MY GOD YES

21:06- alastor, you know it's not right to make someone your political puppet. Your little dances are cute though so I'll allow it for now.

I don't know why it thought I was speaking Spanish for a second but anyways that episode was really cute and good and I liked it but I'm also scared for the next episode cuz like now I'm wondering is someone actually going to die or were people just lying. I feel like either Adam is going to be the one to die or it's going to be Lucifer cuz they mentioned a lot in the previous episode about how Charlie needs to take up the throne and get ready to take her place on the throne like why does she need to take her place on the throne? Isn't that her dad's job??? Please don't kill Lucifer off please please please 🙏 also I'm still not on board and probably will never will be on the whole political puppet thing. Like I just know I just have a feeling in my bones that alastor's favor is going to be something like "Let me be the ruler of hell lololol" or something anyways

EPISODE 8

01:01-Why are you watching other men get fucked?🤨 (/j)

01:19 🥺 I love 🥺 I oove him so 🥺 so much 🥺🥺🥺 does he have a spatula like spongebob

02:02- wait so how is Vox watching them like does he have bug cameras in the air like those little guys in v3 (woah now I have to put a Danganronpa spoiler on this)

03:42 SOFT ALASTOR FANFICTION WRITERS QUICK WRITE THAT DOWN WRITE THAT DOWN!!!

04:18- I'm not even the biggest huskerdust shipper but awwwww also I don't ship him with anyone but I just want to see Sir Pentious happy pleaseeee also the little Melody of loser baby in the background

04:48- ugh I am clutching my heart right now Sir Pentious is my SON and I LOVE HIM

04:58- what the fuck that ao3 tag was canon this WHOLE TIME???? WHEN DID YOU GUYS HEAR ABOUT THIS?????

05:05- I told you angel dust wasn't going to die

05:38- it's like the song but different! Reprise it's called a reprise also is Mimzy gonna come back

07:15- Vox, you know that you guys are going to die if they lose too right?

Okay I can't timestamp this cuz I'll just be pausing every 2 seconds but just know that everything I'm saying after this is from 07:52 to whatever number I put after later right here->09:47

Okay, so this might be a weird comparison but you know like My Little pony Battle scenes? This feels like that in the very best way possible where they have the scenes with all the different characters fighting with the different music.

Oh my God yes Cherry bomb and angel dust I love them also that was a fire transition also I JUST NOTICED THAT SIR PENTIOUS HAT ALSO HAS THE EYE DOES HE JUST HAVE I HATS FOR EVERY OCCASION

Uh oh Adams angry he's going to do a my hero academia

Oh shit it actually worked that's not good.

I TOLD YOU I CALLED IT VOX IS HORNY

Oh my God that is such a cool shot guys someone should make that frame of Alastor their computer background

OH MY GOD WHOEVER ANIMATED THAT SCENE I LOVE YOU I'M LITERALLY GIVING YOU A METAPHORICAL KISS ON THE MOUTH IN THE PLATONIC SENSE ALASTOR LOOKED SO COOL

Guys I think Adam's going to die

😨 okay so Alastor's microphone just broke and I paused it to add that emoji but as I did the people I live with got home so I'm going to have to pause it for there? I'll update if I get prime working on my phone. Also isn't alastor's microphone alive? Maybe that's the character that died.

Update: all right I got it set up on my phone about 30 minutes later now we're resuming

09:47- okay so I think it's interesting that Alastor pretty much lost all his powers as soon as his microphone broke, my guess is probably that whoever has his soul (lilith, eve, or anyone else) gave the mic to him.

09:53- I like the detail that Alastor is still smiling even though he literally just got slammed against the wall, also Vox has the biggest hate boner for Alastor like

10:02- Alastor: "Have to disagree with you there, radio's not dead." Hun you are bleeding out I'm sorry but I don't think you can gaslight girlboss your way out of this one, also I'm sorry to tell you but the only thing they play on my local radio station now besides music is like, a show that's only on at like 7 in the morning where people call to complain about how their husband wraps Christmas presents

10:38- haha silly also EGGS!!

10:43- NO WAIT MY BRAIN DIDN'T REGISTER THAT THAT EGG WAS CRACKED THEY KILLED THE FUCKING EGG!!!!!! Angel, kill them.

11:12- no no no Sir Pentious you better not I don't want to eat paper

11:21- good for him

11:44- NO GOD DAMN IT PLEASE HAVE A REVEAL THAT ALASTOR OR LUCIFER OR SOMEONE ELSE SAVED HIM PLEASE 🙏🙏🙏 I AM BEGGING ON MY HANDS AND KNEES

12:03- okay this is really cool but is he actually dead cuz I'll legitimately be really sad if so

12:50- *that one vine* "*gasp* Adam."

13:23- KILL HIS ASS CHARLIE

14:12 yes Vaggie, queen shit

SIR PENTIOUS ARE YOU DEAD /J OR /SRS?????

14:35 I KNEW IT I KNOW HE WAS GOING TO COME BACK I MEAN I GOT KIND OF SPOILED CUZ I I SAW THE COVER OF THE EPISODE BUT WOAH 10/10 ENTRANCE

14:44- gasp! His face!

15:00- he is, so stupid. I love him.

15:51-okay I went quiet for a minute cuz there were so much happening but oh my God what do I even say this is just so cool also I don't know if this is intentional or not but the blood stain on Charlie's hair is shaped like an apple

16:34- NIFFTY RAHHHHHHH

17:08- wait okay I had a brief thought that maybe lute was actually Eve but I think I'm wrong on that

17:13- Sir Pentious would've liked pancakes :((((((

Ad Time! I don't care about hard Rock Cafe I just want to know whether or not Sir Pentious is actually dead please I'm going through all the stages of grief right now and Brandan Rogers just came on my screen as Katie killjoy please

18:04- Keke :(

Oh my God they're going to find him in the rubble right? ... Right?? Right guys right???????

18:10- fat nuggets survived that's good I see a rock that looks suspiciously shaped like Sir Pentious military hat whoa guys I wonder if that means anything and it looks like it's up like someone is standing? Whoa I wonder if they'll check behind that rock please

18:16- wait is he actually dead I'm genuinely about to cry

19:16- I am not crying about his death until the episode ends I am not crying until it is 100% CONFIRMED that he died

20:50- omg alastor's alive, he's in his Jack's skeleton era that means that maybe Sir Pentious is also-

21:08- friends :) he said friends just saying

22:04- I TOLD YOU I FUCKING TOLD YOU I TOLD YOU THAT BY DYING IT WAS JUST A CHARACTER BEING REDEEMED I TOLD YOU I'M SO SMART I'M NOT EATING PAPER HAHAHAHAHA I'M THE GREATEST MAN ALIVE HE'S NOT DEAD MY SNAKE BOY ISN'T DEAD HOW DID I GET SO ATTACHED TO HIM I DON'T KNOW BUT I LOVE HIM YES I CAN'T EXPRESS MY EMOTIONS RIGHT NOW I'M GENUINELY SO HAPPY THIS IS WHY THIS IS WHY I WAITED UNTIL THE VERY END TO CRY ABOUT HIM I KNEW HE WASN'T GOING TO BE DEAD THEY WOULDN'T KILL HIM OFF THEY WOULDN'T KILL MY SNAKE BOY OFF JUST LIKE THAT

22:34- you're telling me Lilith was just doing hot girl shit on the beach for 7 years.

[shewrotesomething]

The Day He Realized He Wanted to Marry You (Zen)

Despite his confident demeanor, Zen had plenty of insecurities about his looks. After all, years of verbal abuse won’t disappear overnight. 

No matter how many times he would tell everyone he was perfection embodied, a little snake in his head would always tell him he’s just fooling himself. That all along, his parents had been right and he was on the wrong path. 

These fears will never be voiced, especially not in front of you. 

Even on the days he would ask you, “Jagiya, isn’t your boyfriend especially beautiful today?” and you’d look at him with a delighted smile, that snake would come slithering into his head a few moments later.

There was a day, however, when that voice… Well, it wasn’t silenced completely, but at the very least, it gave him a foothold for bad days.

He still remembered that morning. It was a particularly warm day. He had rehearsals for a movie, and you were off to meet with an old classmate.

“I mean, do you really have to go?” he asked.

You were in the mirror, fixing your hair. “Hyun, it’s not a date. It’s business. He has a fiance for crying out loud!” you shouted with a chuckle.

“You can never tell until the knot is tied… and even if it is you can’t.”

You looked over to him with half a glare. “Our party is in a month and he has excellent connections. Connections that will make excellent guests.”

That was exactly why he felt uneasy about it. If he had excellent connections, he’s probably a rich businessman who’s got a way with words.

“It’s going to be an hour tops and then I’ll drop by your set. We can have dinner together.”

“Promise?”

“Absolutely,” you said, sealing the promise with a kiss on his cheek.

And so, you two went off to your own businesses. 

It was strange though. He knew it would take you more than an hour to get to the set, but he didn’t expect you to be 3 hours late. Besides, whenever you were going to be late for anything, you never failed to update him.

The director called a wrap and so he called you. You didn't answer. He called and called and called. Each time that your phone went into voicemail, he was growing more paranoid. 

What if… you enjoyed your childhood friend company too much?

All those promises he said after the incident. That he’d protect you. That you were the most important thing to him. That he wanted nothing more than to be with you. That his biggest fear would be for you to disappear… What if that was coming true today?

Stay calm. Your phone could be faulty, out of battery, you could be at home.

He was about to rush home when one of his co-star’s personal assistant’s stopped him.

“Thank goodness I caught you.”

“I’m kind of busy, what is it?” he asked, a bit too harshly.

“The hospital called us, they said your partner was in an accident, they’ve been trying to reach you but they don’t exactly know how.”

He took a cab to the hospital immediately fearing the worst. Hating himself even more to even consider that you were off having fun with someone else.

“Ah yes. There’s no need to worry. There was a collision with a biker and resulting in a dislocated kneecap but the doctors were able to fix it with no problem. The anesthesia is wearing off so go ahead.”

And he did. There you laid on the bed talking to one of the nurses. The nurse had a smile on her face.

“All I’m saying is… like… you know like fruit? Yeah… like, if fruit takes like...like... more than 2... if it takes a lot of steps for you to do the thing, what do you do?”

“You eat it?” asked the nurse.

“Yeah yeah yeah yeah. That. If it takes more than like… yeah 2 steps to get to good stuff. Not fruit… It's bad fruit.

The nurse spotted him. “I think someone is here to see you,” she walked towards him. “Just a heads up. Anesthesia has a way of making people a bit too honest,” she warned before leaving.

“Thank goodness you're okay,” he told you with a sigh of relief.

Your eyes squinted to look at him. Your hands stretched out your hands and he held out his own, but you swept them away. Instead, you gestured for his face to come closer. 

Zen knelt down to do as you wished. With both hands cupping his face, your eyes lit up in recognition. “Ah… I know you.” 

He chuckled. “I certainly hope you do.”

You nodded to yourself. Pleased. “Uh-huh, you’re my beautiful boyfriend. My beautiful boyfriend is here.”

His heart melted at that. “I’m here.” Placing his hand over your own, he found the absence of a ring an issue to be remedied. 

[seraphinitegames]

The Wayhaven Chronicles—Update 22/July/2022

Chapter 15 is finished, and I'm powering through Chapter 16!I

t's been quite the motivating week, hehe! :D 

Chapter 15 actually took longer than I expected, as I added in some extra scenes. Where as Chapter 14 was the date chapter with the LIs, I wanted 15 to be more of a sort of 'catch-up' chapter with the other characters. I was going to leave out a couple of characters who may pop up later depending on player choices, but decided to have them in there.

So I wrote extra scenes for them, and I'm SO glad I did, as it fit in really perfectly. Kind of sets things up too for later events...

But I did go back and forth on if I wanted it. When I thought I didn't, I deleted the scene I was working on, then one night I was led in bed realising I really did want it, so the next day I had to rewrite about 2000 words worth of stuff I'd already done, lol. Normally I do save scenes I cut, just in case they can be used later, but from some reason I didn't this time. But you live and learn, right?

After 15 was done, I was going to start some editing that I really need to catch up on...but I dove right into Chapter 16 instead! :D I'm glad I did because I'll be able to finish the first section of it today! 

Next week, I will have to take a couple of days for editing. Not my favourite thing to do, but definitely a very important task that can't get left behind. But it does mean I get to play through the game again, which always gets me super excited, so I'm looking forward to that already!

Still, I'm hoping even with those days out of writing that I can really push through Chapter 16. It has split scenes, but they're nice and flowing ones. 15 and 16 are the set up scenes for the endings, so there's no branching or anything, which obviously means things progress much quicker with writing them!

Unfortunately, Nai and her family came down with covid this week. They're all okay, just feeling super unwell and having to stay at home. I've made sure to tell her not to do anything but focus on recovering, so there won't be much social media until she's fully well and feeling up to it.

Hope you all have a wonderful weekend! We'll be offline as usual, so I'll update you all again next Friday! <3

[thefreakymunson]

Leather and Lace, Chapter 1

Taglist: @aysheashea @sidthedollface2 @fuckmeupeds @xcatnapsx @benztripp @eddiemunson95 A/N: Welcome to a new story! I'm very excited for this one, a lil nervous, too (reviews are welcome and appreciated!) As always, if you'd like to be added to the tag list, please let me know by shooting me a message! This will be a very sexy, fun, angsty story that will be updated once a week. I hope you enjoy!

It was a cold February night. The kind of cold that made Eddie shiver despite the multiple layers of clothing he had on. Smoke billowed out from his mouth as he stomped his cigarette out on the sidewalk and glanced over at Gareth.

Today, Eddie turned 20. Old enough to get into a strip club, but still not old enough to drink their beer. Which was fine. He had done a little pregame before Gareth picked him up. As he looked up at the flashing neon sign that read "Girls, Live, Now", he felt a bit of uneasiness in the pit of his stomach.

Eddie had never been to a strip club before. He never found a reason to go. Hawkins didn't have one and the closest one, Lusty Ladies - which is where they were, was two towns over. He didn't know what to expect other than naked women and drunk men. He followed Gareth up to the queue and sighed when he saw the rest of the men standing in front of them.

Old, hairy, probably perverts. That's exactly what Eddie felt like.

“Gareth-“

“Eddie, shut up.  It’s your birthday and we’re both of age now, so I can get in here too.” Gareth glared at his friend over his shoulder, “How much pot have you lent me over the years, man?”

“Too much,” Eddie snorted.

“Exactly.  So let me treat you out for the evening, yeah?” Gareth stopped walking and clapped a hand over Eddie’s shoulder, “This is my birthday gift.”

They queued up in line and Eddie leaned back against the building, crossing his arms over his chest.  He wasn’t never big on strippers – he could admire a pretty girl any day, but strip joints weren’t usually his thing.  Gareth, on the other hand, used his birthday as an excuse to finally be able to HAVE an excuse to get into the only one within a twenty-mile radius.  Eddie was staring out at the parking lot when he noticed a familiar car – a small beat-up Pinto of a car.  It wasn’t the car itself that stood out.  It was much more the Hawkin’s High Chemistry textbook sitting in the passenger seat that peaked his interest.

“Do you know that car, Gareth?” Eddie nodded towards the car that was situated a few feet from where they were standing.

“Eddie, we’re about to see titties – real live titties and you’re worried about if I recognize a car?” Gareth snorted, “Jeez…and here I thought I was the only virgin of the two of us.”

Eddie shot him a glare that would’ve killed him if looks could kill.  Truth be told, Gareth WAS the only virgin between the two of them.  Eddie had lucked up with an older woman from the trailer park and a couple of girls who wanted to buy weed but didn’t have the funds.  A true tradesman if you will.  Gareth couldn’t catch a break let alone a girl.

“There’s a Hawkin’s textbook on the front seat,” Eddie nodded.

“Okay? And? I’m sure it’s just some dancers kid’s book.” Gareth shrugged, “Not a big deal.”

And Gareth was right.  It wasn’t a big deal but it certainly peaked his interest.  Was he getting ready to get a lap dance by someone’s mom that he knew? What the fuck was even Indianna at this point?

Once they were in through the doors, Eddie immediately felt uncomfortable.  It wasn’t the loud music or the darkened room or even the scantily clad women.  It was the fact that they were easily the youngest two people in here.  Men that looked like perverts flocked to the stage or to the booths.  The music thumped loud enough that he could feel the vibrations through the soles of his shoes as they walked further in.  He turned to tell Gareth something but when he turned around, he realized he was standing alone in the middle of the crowd.  Gareth was nowhere to be found. 

Being a twenty-year old man in the middle of a room with gorgeous women never felt so awkward. 

“This your friend?” He heard come from behind him and he turned around to see Gareth strolling up with two girls.  They were both tall, thanks to their six-inch heels, and he glanced at Gareth when the dark haired one stepped closer and gripped his hand.

“That’s him.  It’s his birthday.”  Gareth said with a sly grin.

“Birthday boy, hm?” The dancer smacked her gum as she walked closer.

She was hearing a pink half-bunny mask which had been bedazzled and sparkled in the lights that bounced off of the lights from the stage.  Her fingers curled around his large wrist and she smiled at him, dark red lips parting to reveal a beautiful smile.  She tugged him back towards the back of the building, her hips seeming to sway to the beat as she walked.  She pushed the beaded curtain aside and pulled him into her lounge before she shut the door and smiled at him.

“This your first time at a strip club?” She smirked.

“What gave me away?” Eddie laughed.

“The fact that you’re still standing and not spread out on the couch.” She laughed softly, “You’re cute, Eddie.  My name is Iz.”

“How do you know my name?”

“Your friend told me,”she said, trying to shrug it off nonchalantly, her heels clanking as she walked over to him.  The room suddenly felt too quiet and way too small as he got a good look at her in the brighter room. 

The corset she was wearing cinched her waist in tight, pushed her chest up high, and the panties left little to the imagination.  He could see two big green eyes behind the mask lined with a thick coat of black eyeliner.  From what he could make out, she was beautiful.

“Sit,” she said, pushing him backwards.  The chains on his pants rattled as he flopped down onto the oversized chair, “Loosen up, birthday boy.”

“So are there rules?” Eddie asked, watching as she pressed play on a stereo system in the corner of the room.

“Your friend paid well,” Iz said as she smacked her gum yet again, “Paid for our deluxe package, but I don’t do any happy endings.  If you get off, that’s on you, and on you to clean my chair up, too.  You don’t get to undress me…you’re really not supposed to touch me, but…I let the cute ones touch me sometimes.  It’s our little secret…just don’t touch in between my legs.”

“So your crotch?”

"Mmm, that’s such a sexy word,” she snorted as she looked over at Eddie, “But yes, exactly…and my mask stays on.”

“Got it,” Eddie nodded, “No crotch and the mask doesn’t come off.”

“Good boy,” she grinned at him, white teeth shining behind her dark lipstick.

The music started playing and Eddie sunk down further in the chair, watching as she walked closer to him.  Bon Jovi filled the room and he groaned in distaste. 

“Sorry, we don’t have any Dio on deck,” she said as she nodded to his vest that was thrown to the side of him on the chair, “We don’t have any of the good shit.”

“The good shit, hm?” Eddie smirked, holding a hand out to help her step up onto the small stage. 

“Yeah, the good shit.” Iz smiled, “No Ozzy, no Sabbath, no Metallica…just hair bands.”

“Hair bands aren’t bad,” he said, watching as she climbed up the pole on the stage and flipped upside down, “Just repetitive.”

“Eddie?” She asked softly.

“Yes?”

“Do you always talk this much about music when someone’s trying to dance for you?” She laughed, reaching a hand out to playfully stroke his cheek.

“Well," he huffed out a laugh, "It's safe to say you’re the first person to ever dance for me, so I’m not up to date on stripper etiquette.” Eddie shrugged.

She slid down the pole and smiled softly as she made her way over to his seat, knocking his legs open wider.  She turned her back to him, sitting down on his lap as he watched, hands stuck to his sides, which she found adorable.  A soft laugh escaped her mouth as she reached down and gripped his hands, sliding them up and over her lap, the thick chunky rings leaving a run in her stockings as she moved his hands up over her legs.

When she leaned back against him, the scent of her perfume filled his nose.  She smelt like strawberries and vanilla and something else he wasn’t able to put his finger on.  It was intoxicating and he felt himself growing hard as she ground herself down against him, no matter how hard he tried to stop it.  She turned around to face him as she reached behind her and untied her top, letting it fall down her body and into his lap.  His eyes were glued to her tits, staring at her in disbelief. 

Her hands slid down over her body and his eyes caught a tattoo on the side of her wrist.  A tiny heart and a tiny star.  His hand reached out and his thumb ghosted over it, catching her off guard and she stopped grinding herself against him to turn and look at him.

“You’ve got a tattoo?” He nodded, “It’s cute.”

“Yeah,” She laughed softly, “I do.  It’s my only one so far…you’re hard to dance for.”

“Why?” He laughed, shaking his head slightly.

“Because you keep distracting me!” She laughed.

“My bad,” he gave her a small smile, “I’ll stop.  Continue.  Please dance for me.”

Thirty minutes later, she had finished her dance and was in the process of getting dressed when there was a knock on the door and a guard stuck his head in through the door, alerting them that time was up.

“Um..am I supposed to pay you or something?” Eddie chewed on his bottom lip.

“No,” she gave him a small smile, “Gareth paid and tipped nicely.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m sure,” She gave him a small smile.

“What’s your name?”

She thought for a second on if she should be truthful or not.  She knew him.  She had seen him around town plenty of times and at school when she showed up.  She could ruin her fun, let him in – it wasn’t like Eddie Munson had hundreds of friends to go blab that she was dancing two cities over. No one talked to him unless it was to buy drugs anyway.

“You can call me Iz,” she gave him a small smile.

“Is that your real name?”

“It’s real enough for you,” she patted his cheek before she walked over to the door and glanced back only once, “See ya around, Eddie. Happy birthday!”

On the drive home, Eddie was silent which was unusual.  Gareth cleared his throat and looked over at him sitting in the passenger side of the car.  He had his head resting on his hand that was propped up on the car door.

“You alright, man?”

“Hm? Oh, yeah.” Eddie nodded, “Hey, did you tell that dancer my name?”

“I didn’t tell her your name, man.” Gareth shrugged, “Just told her to call you the birthday boy.”

“Then how did she know my name?” Eddie sat up straight in the seat and glanced over at him in shock.

“I don’t know, man.  She could’ve just overheard me say it.” Gareth shrugged, “Did you at least have fun?”

“Yeah, I had fun.” Eddie nodded, “Thanks for the present.”

“Good…because it doesn’t look like you had fun.” Gareth laughed, “Jesus…you just had a gorgeous girl all over you and you look like someone just killed your dog. 

“She just seemed familiar, ya know?” Eddie shrugged, “Like I knew her from somewhere.”

When Gareth dropped him off that night, Eddie went in long enough to grab a beer and change into a bit more comfortable clothes before he walked out to the larger porch attached to his trailer and lit his cigarette, taking a long comforting drag.  He never done anything for his birthday.  His uncle tried to throw parties when he was younger, but it just left him feeling disappointed when no one would show up.  Now, he settled for a birthday dinner with his uncle and maybe one of his friends would come over to hang out. 

Eddie Munson wasn’t popular – that was for sure.  But the fact that “Iz” knew who he was meant something…it meant a lot, actually.  It made him feel seen when he often felt so very invisible.

The next morning, he was sitting in the cafeteria as the other kids ate their breakfast as fast as possible.  He was going over the newest plans for the newest campaign.  He had been working on this one for ages and he was excited to finally be able to start The Cult of Vecna.  He was being his usual theatrical self when he slipped backwards and bumped into a group of girls by accident.  He laughed it off, apologizing profusely and stepping back to usher them forward when he realized he hadn’t hurt anyone…until he the scent of a familiar perfume filled his senses and he stopped dead in his tracks.  There was four different girls in the group…but he would know that perfume from anywhere. 

He knew one of those girls was his “Iz.” 

“Eddie, are you even listening to me?” Gareth clapped loudly in front of him, snapping out of his gaze, “Jesus, who are you staring at like that?”

“No one,” Eddie shoved it off, “What did you say?”

“You sure you’re alright? That stripper didn’t fuck you up too bad last night, huh?” Gareth laughed.

“Stripper?” Dustin piped up, “You guys saw strippers?”

“Shut up,” Eddie glared at Dustin, “Jesus man, could you be any louder?”

*-*-*-*-*

The alarm sliced through the quiet trailer, causing her to groan as she reached an arm out and slapped it silent.  She hated everything about school – getting up early, having to go and be even more invisible in the crowd, and then she’d work the rest of the day. 

She would raise her hand when they called her name, Luna Fern Adams – which by far had to be the worst name in the entire school.  Her parents were certified hippies and she could vividly remember walking into school each morning with the stench of weed clinging to her like it was a second skin.  Often times, she was made to change clothes from something out of the lost and found bin in the office.  School life had been hell for her before she really even stood a chance.  She drifted into the background, blending in with the rowdy crowd as much as she could. 

First period was her favorite for more than one reason.  She got to sit behind the only guy that had ever truly been nice to her since she came to high school, but that was three years ago, and he was still there, taking his senior year for the third time which put them in all the same classes.

Ms. O’Donnell’s class was the hardest.  Chemistry wasn’t her strong suit, and apparently it wasn’t Eddie’s either.  He didn’t talk much, but neither did she, and it was a shared comfortable quietness when the teacher would force everyone into pairs.

After the bell had rang and the students were all accounted for, Eddie turned to face her for a moment and then just blurted the question out quietly.

“Can I borrow a pencil?” He asked slyly, “If I ask the fucking quack that’s teaching this class, we both know she’s going to chew my ass out.”

“Here,” Luna laughed softly as she slid one out of the pouch.

“Lifesaver,” he said, clutching the pencil to his chest as if he had just been handed the mightiest sword in all of the land, “I shall defend you in battle.”

“Mmm, if by battle you mean helping me pass the final, then I accept.” She snorted.

“Yeah, don’t count on me doll, you’d be fucked.” He said, squinting his nose up at her before he turned back around in his seat.

She admired the patches on the back of his vest.  Bands she knew of because of that vest, having spent nearly every day memorizing them.  To say she had a small crush wouldn’t be too far out of the picture.  There were times she wanted to flirt – ask him out on a date or even just to come over and study after school.  And she would if she wasn’t ashamed of her home life.

“All right, everybody.  Let’s split up into pairs and head down to the lab.” Ms. O’Donnel announced, causing everyone to groan.

Luna clutched her books to her chest as she followed everyone else down the hallway, keeping towards the back of the crowd as they walked.  Eddie was even further behind, bringing up the rear of everyone. 

He stared at her the entire way, wondering if he should just ask. It had been bugging him for the past two days now, rattling around in his brain, but he couldn’t get the words right to say it out loud.  Luna would think he was a freak for asking.  He cleared his throat and took three long strides to be in sync with her steps before he could stop himself.

“You’re friends with that new girl, right? Elizabeth?” Eddie asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

She looked up at him, a bit in shock, but nodded anyway, “Yeah.  Elizabeth’s cool.”

“Uh…is she single?” Eddie shrugged, “Seeing anybody?”

His words stung.  Luna clutched her books a bit tighter and nodded, trying to keep the crestfallen look off of her face as she spoke, “Yeah, I think she’s single.  We’re not best friends, but I haven’t heard her say anything about seeing anyone.”

“Cool,” Eddie nodded, “I’ve been trying to find the time and place to talk to her, but we never seem to cross paths.  I was wondering if you’d give her my number?”

“Sure,” she mumbled.

“Look at you being my lifesaver twice,” Eddie snorted, “Thank you.”

Lunchtime couldn’t come fast enough.  Eddie’s number scribbled on a torn piece of paper was burning a hole in her pocket and adding a thick layer of jealousy towards a newer friend. She walked into the cafeteria and straight to the table, slipping the folded paper in front of her.

“What’s this?” She asked.

“Eddie’s number,” Luna shrugged.

“Who?”

“Eddie Munson,” Luna said, scanning the cafeteria for the rowdy metalhead, “There.  With the jean vest on.”

“Why would I want his number?” Elizabeth laughed, “I’ve never even really talked to him.”

“He’s a nice guy,” Luna frowned, “You should give him a call.”

“Yeah, I’ll jump right on that right after work.” Elizabeth snorted.

“Don’t you get off at like 4 AM?  He’d prob- oh…you were being sarcastic.” Luna snorted.

“Exactly,” Elizabeth said as she patted her head and went back to her tray of food.

Luna wished she could be more like Elizabeth.  Easy going, carefree, and beautiful.  She was beautiful and all the guys in school were realizing that.  Soon the new girl would forget the small group of girls that took her in in the first place and she’d be in with the popular crowd.

The school bell rang, signaling the end of the day and Luna released a pent up sigh.  She sulked down the stairs and was rounding the corner to go out to her car when she was stopped by non other than Eddie himself.

“Did you give her my number?” Eddie asked, his eyes wide and curious.

“Yeah but she’s pretty busy today, so I wouldn’t sit by the phone waiting.” Luna shrugged, not wanting to let him down.

“Oh, I won’t. I’ve got plans anyway. Hey, we have a spot available at Hellfire tonight.  Do you want to play?” Eddie shrugged.

“I can’t tonight,” She bit back a frown, “Working a double shift.”

“Bummer.” Eddie sucked his teeth and sighed, “Thanks for being my wingman – er, woman…thank you, is what I’m trying to say.”

“No problem,” she offered a small smile and then was back on her way out to the parking lot. *-*-*-*-*

11PM came quicker than Iz thought.  She slid her mask down over her face, tightened her corset a bit tighter, and adjusted the garter on her thigh.  She bent forward and applied the lipstick that matched her pink bedazzled mask, her prized possession and the only slice of protection she had to keep her identity safe. 

She soothed the ripples in her leather boots as she stood up straight, checked herself over once, before turning and walking out on the stage.  She was the opening act tonight, her thirty minute set would be followed with a prebooked private session, and then she’d work the side stages for the rest of the night.  Luckily, opening acts garnered the most tips on Friday’s.

Ratt’s Round and Round started playing as she took the stage and immediately, she spotted him.  He was leaning back against the bar with his eyes glued to her.  Her playboy from the previous night.  Eddie.

A smile crept onto her face when she finished the dance and the workers raked her earnings in.  They’d put it back in her locker for her.  She still had cash to make and about twenty minutes to spare before the quiet room.

“Come back so soon?” She asked, leaning on her arms beside of him on the bar, “Did ya miss me?”

“I’m just curious,” he shrugged, “How do you know who I am?”

“Hmmm,” she shrugged, “We run in similar circles, I guess.”

“I know everyone in my circle and I don’t recognize you,” Eddie smirked as his eyes roved over her body, “I believe I’d recognize you.”

“Similar circles,” she repeated, popping a cherry into her mouth from the drink the bartender placed in front her.

“How old are you?”

“Nineteen,” she nodded.

“You walked by me the other day,” Eddie nodded, “Well, I bumped into you when you were walking past me.”

“Did I?” She smiled behind her mask, “How do you know?”

“Your perfume,” he nodded, “I’ve never smelt it before and then I got a hit of it when I bumped into that group of girls.”

“Did you apologize for bumping into them? That’s not very gentlemen like if you didn’t, Edward.” She glanced over at him, “Do you want a dance tonight?”

“No,” Eddie shook his head, “I just came to see if my mind was playing tricks on me or not.”

“What was your conclusion?”

“I don’t think it is,” Eddie shook his head, “I think it’s you trying to play games instead.”

“Games?” She laughed softly, “Eddie, I’m not playing a game.  I’m just protecting my identity.”

“As if I have a lot of people to blab to,” Eddie nodded, “You’re so right about that.”

“You’re so cute when you’re being passive aggressive.” Iz smiled and stood up, “If I can’t dance for you, what is it you need from me tonight?”

“Nothing,” Eddie shrugged, “Just thought we could be friends is all.”

“You’re in a strip club looking for a friend?” Iz snorted, “You’re not that hard up for friends, Eddie.  You have people clambering all over you all day, especially in the cafeteria and after school-“

“After school is different.”

“How?”

“Because that’s when I sell.  You should know that if you know me so closely.” Eddie shrugged.

She leaned in close to his ear and smiled, “I’ve been one of your customers, Eddie…have a good night, handsome.  Come find me if you want a dance later.”

She left him there at the bar, even more confused then when he came in, completely speechless...just like the night before.

[mariacallous]

So, today.

The new staff event I was asked to coordinate happened at 3pm. My supervisor had scheduled a meeting or whatever to prep for it at 10:30 this morning.

It's 10:45 before they tell me the meeting they're in is running over and that they'll ping me when they're available/done.

I don't hear anything from them for 2 hours, and it's when they walk by the office where I'm working on something with a coworker that they pop their head in and apologize and then say they'll try to find time before the event.

Meanwhile, they had said yesterday they wouldn't be able to attend a meeting I had asked to be rescheduled because of this event, and then like not too long before the new start time the overall team director has a conflict and can't make it. So I got it canceled and we'll meet in the new year, with apologies to the late notice to the attendees.

I'm also sending reminders for the event to those people invited, and I noticed that there's a lot of meeting forwarding notices and whatnot, and I'm like "...uh...okay..." but don't really think much about it or care. (I had brought chips and salsa and spinach dip and sodas and so forth yesterday for this, plus napkins, cups, and plates and utensils. My supervisor gave me a $20 (which I wasn't expecting anything anyway so that was pretty nice) since this is the first event for new staff both since our last new staff welcome and since the spending freeze which means no funds for refreshments for events basically, among other things, and I didn't want to have some kind of half-ass thing where people show up but there's nothing to eat or do besides talk).

Anyway, I find out a short while later that apparently the overall team director, seeing the "small number of confirmed attendees" had invited not only new staff external to our division but also people who had been around longer than the cutoff identified. Hence all the meeting forwarding notices and new confirmations.

Okay, fine. I also want to point out that part of my ask had been to get a list of new staff since January, with their start dates, identify the cutoff, get them invited etc. and also provide the list for division staff to review and update. I heard nothing back but people sure made a fucking mess of that excel doc I was told to make a onedrive/shared document. Anyway, whatever.

I'm helping another coworker double-check data and other information since we're in one of the busiest parts of the year with lots of project and other updates and work being done, and we had to spend some time unfucking the shared document version of a report this coworker puts together and was, again, told to make available to share with division staff to provide updates directly. Lots of them didn't do it, and had to be reminded to mark off they had done it, so tracking and checking has been a huge pain. That ate up a good amount of time because this coworker had to keep stopping to handle other updates and emails (which I completely understood and helped with where I could).

A meeting happens and for a while I'm the only person from our team so I just say to get started. The overall team director arrives late, and then asks questions and brings things up that could/should have been discussed sooner but end up being worked out.

There was another meeting that was supposed to happen today that I flagged for the overall team director and my supervisor, in that "hey, is this meeting still happening and do we have an agenda for it?" way. 15 minutes before the start time the overall team director sends a teams message to the meeting attendees asking if there's an agenda for the day. And pushed the meeting later. And then it took forever before it was finally cancelled.

During this, another coworker's husband had been working on cornhole boards for the office and he brought them by. I checked them out and complimented them and whatnot (and of course they're by my desk). Of course the overall team director wants a picture of them with everyone in them (one coworker quietly ducked away before this) and I was at my desk when they said "Oh, Sean, come on, get in the picture!" and kept pushing so I had to get short. They're response was "Okay, then you take the picture" which I said I had no problem doing. My supervisor either didn't hear or decided to also try to push and get me in the picture and once again I had to get rather short and definitive. I took the picture and hoped that would be the end of it. Nope. They decided to break in the boards and have a quick round. So I have to wait for a lull to get out of my cubicle and go elsewhere, like the restroom or wherever, and then have to dodge and do the same coming back.

It comes time to finally prep for the event. I stop by my supervisor's office to get the items and then we head down. The overall team director was going to join us to help and bring their stuff down as well. We got the room set up and I had to be the one to log in to the computer and get that figured out since they were blindly turning screens on and trying to make things happen. The overall team director brought *a* bag/bunch of grapes and *a* bunch of clementines, and that's it. We also used leftover stuff from our office holiday event yesterday. During the setup and other stuff they started talking about where we all were during the pandemic? and other things which was awkward.

Oh, and they decided they wanted people to do some kind of activity - "what 3 items would you bring on a desert island?" and then have people answer it etc.

People start showing up, I'm just trying to lay low and not draw attention to myself but I do end up chatting with a few people and they were all very nice and eager. People are kinda-sorta participating in the desert island thing but not really. People mingle, introduce themselves to each other, socialize etc. It's going okay. We end up with well over 20 people. Finally the overall team director has everyone go around the room and have people introduce themselves and some people also do the activity. There was talk of a picture being taken with the group but it didn't happen. Other people had other staff events to get to. There was one that one division verbally invited me and others to, happening like right after ours, and I noticed it was on the calendar of both my supervisor and the overall team director. Huh okay. I wasn't planning on going anyway because I had follow-ups and other stuff to do. The event peters out and we start cleaning up the room. The overall team director is just so enthused and amazed at how great it was and how everything came together. I'm just tired and want to be done.

I go back up to check with the other coworker on the data stuff, and they had ended up staying later because of delays in responses and so we're doing other checks and updates. I go back to my desk to get some things looked at and my supervisor comes over and goes "hey, I'm going over to the other division's thing, do you want to come check it out?" I say no thank you and then both of them depart. I say goodbye to the other coworker as they leave, wrap up my stuff, and then leave, and as I leave I can hear my supervisor and the team director chatting and debriefing and decide I don't want to attract any notice.

I end up getting on the wrong subway train but manage to ride it a good amount of the way before I switch to the correct one. And I made it home with various leftover items so that wasn't too bad.

[beingdreeyore]

I'm raw today. I haven't cried, but several times I've wanted to.

Today was one of those days where the frustrations created weren't from my own actions, but the response inside me is all mine. Perhaps I'm pre-menstrual? Then again, it's well-established by now that I'm a sensitive soul at the best of times.

I started the day with a phone call to a mother. I was asked to call her to just tell her to restart a certain medication her son had been on. Simple. Easy. I'd never met her. Never met her son. I was relaying a message. It took her less than twenty seconds to unleash at me. I'd gotten no further than saying where I was calling from and the yelling and crying - both from her - began. It went on for over twenty minutes before I calmed her down. Or maybe she calmed herself down. But it was twenty minutes of being abused by someone I had never met. Finally I met her needs on some level. The yelling stopped. When I called her back an hour later to update her on the crisis steps I'd put in place given her complaints, she cried again but this time thanked me. She apologised. It was too late though. My skin was already on fire. My muscles were already tensed too much to be able to relax again in any reasonable time period. My guard was up. I was on the defensive. Ready to see the attacks coming from everywhere.

A consultant from another specialty then attacked our management plan of a patient who was only mildly unwell. The plan - a psychiatric plan - was simple. Standard. Usual practice. It had already been implemented and was working well. My boss and I had discussed it. Then this random doctor decided to write a note in the patient's medical record that was a thinly veiled sermon on his personal beliefs regarding antipsychotic medication. But he chose to attack me personally as mine was the name in the computer that had written the plan. He's never met me before. I doubt he'd heard my name before today. Then again, I have a pretty generic basic white bitch name, so maybe he'd heard my name before, but he didn't know it was mine. He doesn't know me. But he came for me as if I somehow represent psychotropics. I bit my tongue. I took a lap of the block. I kept my eyes down. I breathed deeply.

My team leader saw the note a short time after I did. He appeared in my office, checking I was okay, aware of just how personal the words had been. But it was too late. That was two hits now. There wouldn't be a third. Or, rather, I know myself well enough to know that if a third person appeared, they wouldn't be getting away with it as easily as the first two had. I knew that if a third person came for me, the warrior woman inside of me, the impulsive and reckless side, it would wage war on whoever was brave enough to be the third today before I'd had a chance to stop myself.

Please don't let there be anyone else...

The phone was quiet all day. It's Wednesday. The phone shouldn't have been quiet all day. It's the day Dad calls. But he didn't. He'd gotten distracted by something else. It was something important. I get it. But I felt like an outsider. Alone in it all. Like I didn't belong anywhere.

There was someone else I'd expected to hear from. A man. But the phone has been quiet. I think that's the final straw. Would I normally care? Probably. I don't do well with being letdown or with broken promises, but I probably could've managed okay. But now, in the evening with the phone quiet, it's all a bit much. The silence is better than the contact that is rejection though. At least today. I doubt I could've controlled my response today. So no message is a message but it won't trigger anything inside me. It's awful and painful and also some kind of small mercy. If I don't hear from him, then I can't impulsively lash out in anger.

It's funny. I can rationalise it all. I understand it all. That doesn't mean the world feels any less alone though. I wish it did. I wish intellectualising allowed it to sit more gently. To take up less space inside me.

I saw Z today. It's been so long. He didn't see me. I was thankful. I didn't want him to see my weight gain or the dark circles under my eyes. I saw him. He's gained weight too. He looks older. Worn out. It was the first time I've ever seen him with his hair in need of a cut. I wonder if everything is okay? He looks like trash. Like he's not sleeping either. What is happening for him? Is something happening in his life that's making him feel the same kinda way...? I wish I could will him into smiling my way again. Not that it would get me anywhere, even if I could. If he'd said hello, there's every chance he would've been on the receiving end today. He's never apologised. He's a fair target. Right?

I'm alone today. But I understand this is best in some ways. I don't trust myself to regulate my anger after being so defensive. I'm home now. It's quiet. It's lonely. Again though, it's some kind of small mercy.

It's just harder some days than others. The things that are fine some days can just not be fie the next. I'm okay. For goodness sake, we all know by now that one way or another I'm always okay, but today is a tough day.

It was a really tough day and I hope tomorrow is better.

[crystaiskiess]

Okay, first, I had planned to post something today in honor of s3 (!!!) (another one of those scene + show edits) but didn’t have the time, but I’m going to make one like this week (maybe end up using scenes from this chapter because aaaa).  Second, I have so many thoughts about this chapter that I’m going to leave a comment on it on ao3.  So, here are my aaaaa thoughts and my ao3 comment will probably actually sound coherent lol.

The relationships!!!  I love how you write relationships in their complexities.  Morgana and Arthur’s relationship being a focus in this really fits, especially the difference in the beginning versus the end.

All he could feel was her absence. They were like two pieces of cotton woven to make a string, his life does not exist if not alongside hers. Even when they were not directly interacting he would see her at every moment throughout the day. Now, her empty seat at dinner seems to dominate the space, consuming his attention, memories of her in the halls and his chambers haunt him like a ghost. The one time he dared to go to her chambers the emptiness felt like an aching wound. Morgana entered his life when he was five years old, he doesn’t know a time when she wasn’t in the castle with him. She has always been a sister to him, and he misses her like a limb.

That being in the first four paragraphs, god my heart was being torn out of my chest already.  I knew the chapter would hurt, but I hadn’t been expecting it to hurt that fast.  I sat down, finally able to read after running errands, and was immediately kicked in the chest at full force.  Then we have Morgana’s perspective later, and once again, kicked in the chest.

Morgana looks up from the cauldron with a start. “Not Arthur.”

That one line had me have to stop for a second because I love the dynamic.  They love each other so very dearly that they see each other as siblings without even knowing they’re siblings.  Often times, we don’t get to see that explored in fics because it’s kind of hard to know in canon.  Or at least my opinion because we don’t understand if Morgana has entirely changed or there’s still some “good” (for a lack of a better word) left in her.

I will say that Gwen’s pov of Morgana actually made me want to sob.  Honestly, your writing just makes me feel all the emotions of the characters, so it’s not surprising that they’re in some distress that I’m in distress.  As I’ve said before, you have such a strength in emotion writing.  If you have any tips, please share because I’m always blown away every time I read OAFK (which has been several times). 

Where Gwen had once kept careful distance, Morgana pulled her in with both hands into her open arms. They grew beyond the role of maid and mistress, developing a true friendship that Gwen cherishes more than most other things in her life.

I’m trying to not like quote it too much, because it makes these get so long but it’s these two sentences that just started off their established relationship and getting ready to see what it is now.  Also, the knowledge of how Morgana feels/felt for Gwen doesn’t make it hurt but does at the same time.  I’m pretty sure it’s chapter nine where we’re introduced to Morgana’s love for Gwen, but it’s chapter thirteen where she thinks that Gwen knows she loves her (or maybe I misinterpreted that).  They both love each other so deeply, regardless of if in different ways, and seeing that fall apart a little just hurts.  It hurts Gwen, so it hurts me.

I have many thoughts and feelings about Morgana and Merlin, but that will make this probably 2k+ words long, and I’ll just do it in a comment on the chapter!  Also, do not feel bad about changing the update schedule!!!  You take the time you need to update!  There’s nearly 300k words currently, we can just reread it a million times.  It’s fun because you get to see more and more details every time!

HELLO !! im so sorry it took me so long to get to this, i read it immediately but it made me so happy i truly didn't know how to respond (also genuinely squealed over your ao3 comment too, you dont know how much it means to read analysis about my work i love it so much thank you)

morgana and arthur's dynamic is truly one of the most important things to me so im so glad you enjoyed this chapter and how i addressed them, i feel like the idea of her turning truly on arthur seems impossible to me when he technically had done nothing to her yet to make her feel betrayed, so it was important to me to show how much they love each other (this may come to hurt teehee)

and yes gwen and morgana !!!! the tragedy of what happens to them shouldnt be overlooked and there's absolutely more of that to come so look forward to that 👀

and thank you for your kind words about the update schedule !! it means a lot, it wasn't my ideal situation but id much rather continue posting regularly and just more spaced apart than have to hiatus so its the way it has to be !!

seriously thank you from the bottom of my heart for your kind comments and all your thoughts i keep coming back to them it just makes me so happy !! and thank you again for reading !!

[not-a-space-alien]

Savage Sunset Chapter 7S

Story masterpost

I'm actually going to post just 7S before 7M because, idk, i'm impatient or something, I've just been writing when the inspiration strikes at whatever angle it strikes, cuz that's really all I have time for rn with school and all.

UPDATE: Here's chapter 7M :)

On this episode of the story "Valen's big fuckin bad no good predicament": Lex and Ari come back after avoiding him for a while. What will happen?! 🤔🤔

Content/Content warnings for this chapter: Nonconsensual bondage/restraint/being trapped, gag/muzzle, aftermath of torture, cuts, burns, nonsexual nudity, heavy emotional distress, suicidal ideation/euthanasia discussion

“Oh, Lex, Ari, while you’re here, I was wondering.  I don’t suppose you’d be able to bring me back another live catch sometime?  I’m not sure how much more use I’ll be able to get out of this one.”

Lex turned back from where she’d tried to hurry past the basement to get out the front door.  She looked at Nick, at the top of the stairs, the open door letting out the deranged wailing from downstairs.

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” said Ari.

Nick wrung his hands.  “Well, it’s in a state of starvation, which means it takes much, much longer for its injuries to heal.  It’s not really a pace I can work with to do experiments anymore.  And I’m positive the director won’t consent to us feeding it.”

They’d had plenty of opportunities to repeat their feat in the intervening months.  They’d nabbed about one kill per week, but they’d never even discussed trying to take another vampire alive.  Not after they’d seen what happened to the first one.

Ari sneered at him.  “It’s not our fault if you broke your toy.  You’re not getting another one.  Come on, Lex, we’ve got shit to do.”

“Wait!” said Nick.  “Hold on, please.”  He clasped his hands together.  “Please will you help me today, just this once, I know you said you wouldn’t, but nobody has been around all week to open the coffin with me.  I need to clean him off.”

Lex wavered.  Clean him off?  That…sounded okay, actually.  If he was dirty enough that Nick agreed he needed to be cleaned, it probably felt horrible and washing him would be doing him a favor.

Ari clucked her tongue, clearly thinking the same thing.  “Well…all right, fine.  I’ll do it.  Lex, you don’t have to if you don’t wanna.”

“I’ll help.”

They followed Nick downstairs.  The pathetic, warbling sounds got louder as they descended.

God, the creature in the coffin was almost unrecognizable.  He was rail fucking thin and covered in a layer of grime…it looked to be mostly blood, based on where it was, streaks of it below still open wounds.  It looked like his pants had been lost in the intervening months, dressed in only the now equally grimy boxer briefs, and a heavy metal collar around the neck had been added. It was padlocked shut, but there was a handle at the front–an easy way to lift him up out of the coffin, perhaps?

He was…starting to smell.  Lex nearly gagged.

“Thank you so much,” said Nick with relief.  “I really cannot continue anything until he’s been cleaned up.  It’s interfering with measurements.  Here, if you would be so kind as to unlock the cage and bring him over here.”

He handed the key to Ari, then came over to the basin sink and unrolled a hose from underneath of it.  “There,” he said, and pointed to the drain in the floor.  “Just position him right on there, if you please, this won’t take very long at all.”

Lex’s heart sank, guilt coming back.  She wasn’t sure what she’d expected, but of course Nick would just hose him off.  Surely it wouldn’t be comfortable.  The water would probably be cold.  Well…he would probably feel better once it was over, right?

Ari stared at Nick, the hose in his hand dripping.  “All right,” she said, and she knelt, unlocking the coffin and creaking the lid open.

Valen’s eyes were unfocused and lifeless.  He was already shaking and whimpering.  Ari reached down and grabbed the handle on the collar around his neck, lifting him out with ease–it was unsettling how little he appeared to weigh.  It didn’t seem to hurt at all, but Valen brought his hands, which were shackled in the front of his body, up in front of him, curling his head away, as though to shield himself from a blow.

Ari clicked her tongue, looking down at the pathetic, trembling, grimy stick of a man in her hand.  “All right,” she said, and she knelt down, pressing her shoulder into his midsection, draping him over her shoulder.  She stood, carrying him like a sack of potatoes and starting to go up the stairs.

“Um,” said Nick.  “Ari, where are you–”

“I’m taking him to the bathroom,” Ari snapped.  “Because I can tell it would upset Lex if you did it like that.”

Lex nearly bounced in excitement, following Ari.  Nick quickly moved to intercept them.  “Hold on,” he said, blocking the door.  “I insist we do it in the basement.”

“Nick.”

“Y-yes?”

Ari lifted one foot up slightly.  “Do you see this foot?”

“Y…yes?”

“I just got it out of a boot not that long ago.  But I will break it off in your ass if I have to.  Get out of the way.”

Wringing his hands, Nick stepped to the side.

Lex’s face was about even with Valen’s, in the small of Ari’s back.  His hair drooped over his face to cover most of it, bobbing silently with each step Ari took, but she could see his desperate, tired eyes looking at her.

This time, she suppressed the instinct to tell him everything was going to be okay.

As they came up onto the first floor, a sudden realization struck Lex, and she dashed over and closed the blinds.  The hunters who’d been talking in the living room fell silent with a questioning look.

“Don’t worry about it,” huffed Ari, pivoting and going up the second set of stairs to the second floor.

Valen started whining again, eyes wheeling around, as though the mere stimulation of being in a different environment were overwhelming.

“Sh,” said Lex, and then bit her tongue.  Don’t.  Don’t tell him it’s okay.  He probably hates you.

The bathroom door was closed, the sound of water in the sink behind it.  Ari pounded on the door.  “Yo!”

“Geez, what?” said Bailey’s voice from inside it.

“Get out.  We need to use the bathroom.”

The faucet squeaked off, the sound of towels ruffling.  The door opened, showing Bailey’s disgruntled face.  “Geez, fine.”  His face twisted when he saw the vampire, and he skittered out of the way.

Lex filed into the bathroom after Ari.  She turned around to see Nick following them.  “Now–Now listen, we should make this quick, because–”

Lex shut the door in his face, then locked it.

Ari had sat Valen down on the toilet and started running the water in the shower.  “Go ahead, Lex.  Since I can tell you want to.”

Lex approached Valen like he was a wary cat.  He shrank back.  “Sh,” she said.  “Hey, I’m not going to hurt you.  Do you want to take a shower?”

He looked at her foggily.

She took his elbow.  “Can you stand up for me?”

He didn’t start to move until a second hand on his back gave him a gentle push.  His knees trembled as he stood.  He caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror above the sink and startled violently, falling over.

“All right, you’re okay,” said Lex soothingly, helping him lean on the counter.  “Just relax.”

“You don’t have to talk to him like he’s a puppy, Lex.  He’s still a serial killer, he doesn’t really deserve what we’re doing, so–”

“Wh–” Lex sputtered.  “You’re the one who brought him upstairs!”

“Only because you made me!”

“Wh-uh–No I didn’t!  You did that all on your own.”

“The look on your face was enough.”

Lex rolled her eyes.  “Sure, okay, Ari.  You don’t care at all.  Got it.”

“Hmmph.”  Ari stuck her hand in the stream of water, testing the temperature, then wiped her hand on her shirt.  “All right, that should be good.”

Lex turned back to Valen.  “Do you want to take your underwear off?” she said gently.

His chest heaved in and out with panicked breaths.

“You don’t have to.  But I’ll clean them for you if you want.”

With shaking hands, Valen brought both cuffed hands to his left hip, sliding his underwear down, then repeating it on the right hip until they could drop to his ankles, on top of the ankle cuffs.

“All right, you're doing great,” said Lex, and she knelt.  “Ari, do you have a handcuff key?"

Ari took out a keyring and handed it to her.  She unlocked the manacles around his ankles, then stood, supporting him by the elbow again.  “All right.”

She helped him step out of the ankle cuffs and underwear, leaving him completely nude except for handcuffs and the muzzle.  God, this was horrific, the sheer number of injuries on his body. The newest ones appeared to be the series of cuts at regular intervals going up his arms and legs, along with some fresh burns, but there were a lot of older burns underneath of those.  Nick hadn’t been exaggerating about his rate of healing slowing down.  No wonder Nick wanted another one.  His body looked a little bit like he’d been put through a woodchipper. 

Ari put a hand on Lex’s shoulder and whispered into her ear.  “Should we just kill him?”

Valen’s breath hitched, and he flinched repeatedly, leaning away from both of them.

“No!” said Lex.

“Are you saying that because you’re thinking of his best interests, or your own?”

She looked at Valen.  The pitiful creature just braced himself on the sink, head drooping.

“Well…” said Lex.  “I mean, we could ask him.”

He raised his head at this, a look of panic on his face as they both looked at him expectantly.

“Do you want us to kill you?” Lex said softly.  “We’ll make it painless.  If you want it…to just end.”

Valen’s body hitched in a rapid-fire series of gasping breaths, and then he steeled himself and slowly nodded.

Ari put her hand to her mouth.  “Shit.  Okay.  All right.”

Lex grimly took his elbow and turned him around to face Ari.  Ari reached into her belt pouch and took out a wooden stake.

“It’ll be fast,” said Lex.  “Then the pain will be all over.”

Tears spilled over in Valen’s eyes as Ari steadied the stake over his chest, resting the point over his heart.  He suddenly flinched away, raising his hands, shaking his head, letting out muffled whimpers, squeezing his eyes shut.

Lex put her other arm around his back to steady him.  His skin was cold and she could feel his bones.  “Did you…change your mind?”

He nodded vigorously, quivering.

Ari sighed, slipping the stake back into her belt.  “Okay, then.  Let’s just forget that and wash you off.”

As Lex guided him towards the shower, he kept his hands folded up in front of his chest, looking at the water as though it might bite him.  Lex wrapped a hand around his wrist and extended his hand into the stream of water.  “How’s that?”

He didn’t respond.

“Too hot?  Too cold?”

He shook his head.

“Up you get, then.”

Even with Lex helping him keep his balance, he didn’t lift his foot high enough to clear the rim of the tub and tripped, falling head-first into the shower.  Lex redoubled her grip, pulling him right-side up as the shower waterfalled over his soggy form.

“How about a bath, then,” said Ari behind her.

Lex sighed and pulled the valve to change the flow of water to the bottom faucet, then plugged the tub.  “Jesus Christ, Ari, he can barely stand.”  This skeletal creature that couldn’t look at them without flinching was a far cry from the dangerous predator they had subdued and gotten their bones broken by.

Nick’s voice was at the door.  “Is everything quite all right in there?”

“Yeah,” said Ari.

“How much longer are you going to be?  I have timepoints that, ideally–”

“Don’t come in, we’re having gay sex.”

Lex helped Valen sit back in the tub as the water rose up around his thighs.  “There we go,” she cooed.  “Does that feel good?”

He silently brought his cuffed hands to rest on the bathtub rim.

“Here,” said Lex, laying the bar of soap next to them.  “You can do it yourself, if you want.”

He looked at the bar of soap like he couldn’t remember what it was.  His hands weakly fumbled with it, and it slipped down into the tub.

“Okay, that’s okay,” said Lex, noting that it looked like he was about to start crying again.  “You’re doing great.”  She retrieved the keyring again and brought his wrists forward.

“Be careful,” said Ari in a warning tone as Lex unlocked his wrists.

“Come on,” said Lex, “he’s clearly not in any state to do much of anything.”

She set the handcuffs on the sink, then twisted back towards Valen.  He was bringing his hands shakily up towards the muzzle.

“No,” said Lex softly.  “I’m sorry, that has to stay on.”

He let out a pitiful whine like a dog, face scrunching up.

Lex gently grabbed his wrists and lowered his hands down into the soap and water.  “I’m sorry.  That has to stay on.  I’m sorry.”  She twisted to look at Ari, voice tinged with desperation.  “Are you sure we can't take the muzzle off?”

Ari sighed and sat on the toilet.  “Lex, you know he could just open his mouth and tell us to kill each other, and we’d have to do it.”

“He…He might not.  He might not want to do that.”

“If he didn’t before, he certainly does now.”

Lex looked at his hopeless expression, staring down into the bathwater, which had already turned reddish brown.

“Okay,” said Lex, getting up.  “All right, let’s clean you up, then.”

There was a detachable shower head, so Lex removed it and snaked it down over his head, unplugging the drain and letting the water wash over him for a few minutes, the murky residue swirling down the drain.  He made vague motions to rub the bar of soap over himself like he wasn’t sure he was supposed to be doing it.

“There you go,” said Lex.  She plugged the tub again, now that most of the gunk was gone and the water wouldn’t instantly get completely saturated.  “You’re already looking a little bit better.”

She let the tub fill up and walked over to the sink, picking his underwear up off the floor.  She tried not to look too hard at what exactly it was soiled with as she set it in the sink and let the water run over it, adding some soap.  Not the best way to wash clothes, but it would do.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Valen’s hands move towards his face again.

“No,” said Ari flatly.  “Don’t try it.”

The hands slowly lowered back into the water.

Ari reached over and turned the water off once the tub was full, plunging them into the warm, comfortable silence of a steamy bathroom.  Lex let him soak in there for a while and wrung out his underwear, which was much cleaner despite the lackluster wash.  She got a damp cloth and wiped the manacles too, which were crusty with dried blood and some sort of grimy ash and who knows what else.

She came back over to the bathtub and knelt.  “Do you want me to help rub the soap on your back and stuff?”

He nodded slowly.

She lathered some suds onto her hands.  Despite the gentleness in her touch, he flinched when her palms landed on the bony vertebrae sticking out from under the skin.

“There we go,” she cooed.  “It feels nice, right?”

He didn’t respond.

She lifted the metal collar on his neck to wipe underneath it, running a finger around.  His skin was warmer now, after soaking for a bit.

She got the shampoo off the floor.  “Close your eyes for me.”

He did so, shaking with anticipation now that he could not see.  She squeezed some shampoo out onto the top of his head, which startled him.  His white hair was stained nearly pink from the blood at some points.  She worked it into a lather on his scalp.  He went limp, face melting into relaxation.  A clump of hair came out in her hand, and she grimaced and wiped it on the wall.  He didn’t seem to notice.

“All right, I’m going to touch your face, don’t be surprised by it.  Just keep your hands down there.”  She rubbed some soap on her hands and slid a finger around the muzzle.  The metal parts of the device were padded with leather where it touched him, so it wouldn’t burn him, but there were still inflamed, angry patches of skin where it’d been chafing from months of continuous wear.

Lex loosened the strap on the muzzle.  Just one notch.  It was barely enough to make a difference, but he sighed with relief.

She got one finger down between the muzzle and the skin, rubbing the irritated flesh.  She could feel his jaw working at the bit under her hands.  “Sorry,” she said.  “I’m sorry we can’t take it off.  You know you have to keep it on.”

He sagged.

“All right, let’s rinse you off.”  Lex stood and retrieved the shower head again, setting it to a gentle stream.  He closed his eyes and leaned into it, water streaming down his back.

The faucet squeaked as she turned it off.  She looked down at him.  He still looked pretty fucking gnarly with all his injuries, open cuts layered over old bruises and half-healed wounds, not to mention him being very visibly in a state of starvation that humans couldn’t even reach and still be alive and moving around.  But he was clean, and no matter how miniscule the comfort had been, it must have been the first he’d received in months, and he clearly appreciated it.

“Okay,” said Lex.  “You did so good.  Now let’s just get you dried off, and then we’ll go back downstairs, okay?”

He burst into sobs instantly, leaning into Lex’s knees, wet hands twisting in the fabric of her pants as he desperately clung to her.

“Oh,” said Lex.  “Oh, shhh, shhh, it’s okay, it’ll be okay…”

“Alex,” Ari snapped, and both Valen and Lex looked at her sharply.  “Don’t.”

“What?”

Ari sighed in irritation and came over, squatting next to Valen.  He still pressed into Lex, loathe to let go of her.

She locked eyes with him.  He let out a tiny whimper of fear.

“Hey,” said Ari.  “It’s not okay.  I know it’s not okay.  I know it’s not all right for you right now.  It’s actually pretty fucked up right now.  But me and Lex are going to see if we can make things a little better, okay?”

His grip on Lex tightened.

“All you have to do is hang in there just a bit longer.  Can you do that for me?”

He nodded morosely, even as he continued to white-knuckle Lex’s thighs.

Ari smiled.  “Great.”  She tossed a towel on top of his head.  “Dry yourself off then.”

Lex helped him to sit up on the lip of the tub and lent a hand to towel him off.  Ari found a blow dryer under the sink, and Lex used it to dry off his hair and the skin under the muzzle and the collar.

“All right,” said Ari, holding both pairs of cuffs.  “Sorry, but it’s time these go back on.  We can’t hide in the bathroom forever.”

Face drooping sadly, Valen held his wrists out.  Ari fastened them, then knelt and did the same for his ankles.

“Do you want me to carry you back down, or walk yourself?”

He didn’t move, didn’t meet her gaze.

“I’ll take that as a vote for carrying.”  She leaned him onto her shoulder again, picking him up and steadying him with a hand across the back of the legs.

Nick wasn’t there when they came out, surprisingly.  That gave them a moment of reprieve as they walked back down the stairs.

“Everything all right?” Bailey said warily as they emerged onto the first floor.

“Just peachy,” said Ari, knocking the basement door open with her foot.  “Just right as rain.”

Nick was downstairs at the furnace, handling something with gloves and tongs.  “Ah, there you are, thank you so much, just what I needed…While you’re here, while we have him out, I could, perhaps, just very quickly get data from this timepoint–”

He pulled a stone cup of glowing hot molten silver out of the furnace, holding it at a distance.  “I’m testing the effects of silver on wound healing, you see–”

The cuts up his arms and legs, the fact that some of them had burn marks and some didn’t–to compare them.  Nick wanted to fucking pour molten silver into the open wounds.

Lex looked over at Ari, who was standing there with a horrified expression on her face, to see that Valen was squirming on her shoulder, twisting and writhing as though he could run away.

The coffin lid was still open behind Ari, and she turned around and dumped him inside of it, not even fastening the restraints to keep him secured to the sides before closing it and locking it.

“Ariana, I need–I need him outside of it to–”

“Sure thing.”  Ari held the key to the coffin out like she was going to hand it to him, then yanked her hand back and put it in her own pocket.  “But you know I just remembered there’s somewhere I gotta be real fast, so maybe I’ll come back later and help you with that.”

Ari pushed Lex up the stairs, then when they were at the top, she turned and made eye contact with Nick before shutting the basement door.

“Sick fuck,” she muttered.

Lex followed her as she stomped into the kitchen.  “Ari–what are you–what were you thinking we would do to help him?”

Ari ran a hand through her hair, letting out a breath.  “Ummm…Well, okay, I know a good place to start.”

She walked over to the corded phone hanging from the wall and picked it up.

"And for the record," she insisted, holding one finger up. "I'm only doing this because you're clearly upset by it. I don't care at all."

Lex suppressed a smile.

Ari turned and ran her finger over the important phone numbers posted next to the phone, then dialed, waiting.  Then:  “Yeah, Jenny?  Hey what’s up.  Is Director Griswald in his office today?”

***

Tag list <3

@annablogsposts

@darlingwhump

@oddsconvert

@pumpkin-spice-whump

@soursagas

@thecyrulik

@whumpsday

[taegularities]

You know what? I will feel so empty without them. Discovered them in March 2022 (yes one of my biggest regret in my life). Since then i never once stop talking about them to my friend, i was harrassing her lmao giving her daily updates even if she doesn’t care. I once said that i only breath rnb but i can also say today that i breath bangtan.

Bangtan help me filled a missing piece in my love life? In some way, they were helping me to escape reality. Before knowing them i never once dated someone (still don’t) and to think that i have to face back reality, by confronting the mores of our society and by hoping to find someone who is gonna help me filled that gap, well, yes it hits hard. I am affraid of a lot of things regarding love and relationships in general. I don’t think i have issues nor that i am insecure. With years i started accepting to love myself but i still know that it isn’t enough. Because a part of me says otherwise. An ex friend of mine, once said to me that i was waiting for a partner to accept myself because what i needed was insurance. I feel that it is true. At the same time I might think that « the one » will never appeared to me if i don’t love myself enough. How can i love someone else if i am not even able to love myself? Men that i allowed in my life, played me or didn’t fit my standards. Am i wrong with that? Am i wrong for not giving them a chance to know me or to like me? The more i grow up the more i feel lonely in that society. I felt the lack of affection a lot before bangtan and now that they are gone, i am back to square one. I know that at some point of my life i will have to settle with someone and detached myself from them. For now i don’t have that someone and don’t have them until they are back. But more serioulsy this society pressure me a lot, makes it hard to be fully happy… Not me being so dramatic, i am so sorry. Wanted to vent a bit… tough day. Hope yours wasn’t too harsh tho <3

hi bby. i wanted to be in a headspace where i can answer this properly, but even now, i am at such a loss for words bc i so know what you mean. don't worry about joining 'late' – one idea this fandom has always agreed upon is that you find bangtan just when you're in need of them. i'm not sure how they do that or what the magic behind it is, but they always come into our lives when we need them the most.

and yeah, that's why all of this hurts so much, too! i remember crying my eyes out when last year's festa came out and they announced their hiatus. right now, i feel like it's not quite sinking in that in a few days, they'll all be leaving and be gone at the same time, and it's a harsh reality to cope with. but you know… i find comfort in the thought that they love us just as much (more even, lbr). time is going to pass for them as it will for us, and i promise you they'll be thinking of us every dang moment, so the love, at least, never fades. we'll try our best to be healthy and live our best lives and then come together when they do!! in the meantime, we have each other, so i hope everyone sticks around and holds each other's hand!!

i understand how scary love can be. discovering that people can be kind and so generous raised my standards, too – the boys really did. it's gotten so hard to find someone who fits those expectations, but yk… at some point, we will definitely need to detach ourselves from the idea that every man will be like them. we shouldn't settle for anything less, but we shouldn't reject everyone either who isn't just like them. that's what i've been going with.. the thought to never be able to settle is so freaking scary, but i promise you will!! one day, you'll find someone who fits you just perfectly, and you'll be happy, babe, i can tell you as much. and be as dramatic as you want to be, bc gawd, we're allowed to hurt! i just hope your days get better and that you feel okay as soon as possible. sending you all my love and the tightest hugs, axelle 🥺🤍

[rikeijo]

Hi there! I saw your post about the translation for Wings on Ice, and I would love to post about it on a YOI updates account I run on Twitter. Would that be okay with you? I would link back to your original post as well :)

It's okay to post the translation and romaji, but not kanji.

The transcription I did contains mistakes, but I won't post the correct kanji version, because nobody of Tosshii's fans have done it so far, so it's probably not something that they would want to be posted (I mean it's probably a kind of "buy the more expensive physical copy, if you want to know").

The correct translation is like this:

Tosshii's POV:

Alone in the dark, left out (Hitori kurai, ochikobore da)

The top of the mountain - it's nothing but a dream (Yama no itadaki, yume no mata yume sa)

Crushed under expectations, today as well you continue to wither away (Kitai ni oshitsubusare, kyo mo kimi wa shiorete yuku)

You can't believe in yourself, so much that you put the blame on others (Mawari no sei ni shite made, jibun wo shinjirarenakute)

The edges of your heart are shaven off more and more (Kokoro no ejji kezurarete iku)

Alone in the dark, left out (Hitori kurai, ochikobore da)

It's impossible for a miracle to happen (Kiseki nante okoru wake nai)

I can't believe that such a meeting was possible (Sonna deai shinjirarenai)

There is somebody, who makes wings grow on that back that always faces backwards (Ushiromukina sono senaka ni tsubasa wo hayasu hito ga iru)

On this ice, you become free (Kono hyojo de, kimi wa jiyu ni naru)

Dream that only you can give a shape to, dream that no-one has ever seen (Dare mo mita koto no nai, kimi ni shika egakenai yume wo)

Yuuri's POV:

If you're here, I can become a bird (Anata ga ireba, boku wa tori ni nareru)

Let me fly higher, because I trust you (Motto takaku habatakasete, shinjiteiru kara)

Light and Darkness face back to back (Hikari to Yami senaka wo awaseta)

What it is that you want? (Anata wa nani wo motometeru no?)

All I want is just to see your face smiling, but when I see it, for some reason I feel like I'm about to cry (Warau kao ga tada mitakute, miru to naze ka nakisou ni naru)

Wings fly in the sky at whim, believing in me, more than I myself believe in me (Boku yori mo boku o shinjite, tsubasa wa kimagure ni sora wo tobu)

On this ice, I dance for you (Kono hyojo de anata no tame ni mau)

Dream that I want to give a shape to, together with you, nobody else (Hoka no dare demo nai, anata to egakitai yume wo)

I am able to do it. You believe that, don't you? (Boku nara dekiru, shinjite kureru desho?)

Watch me until the end, because I'm able to change (Saigo made mitodokete yo, kawarareru kara)

(Could we have made history?)

On this ice, I become free (Kono hyojo de boku wa jiyu ni naru)

Dream that only I can give a shape to, one that no-one has ever seen (Dare mo mita koto na nai, boku ni shika egakenai yume o)

If you're here I can fly no matter how far (Anata ga ireba, boku wa doko made mo toberu)

I will deliver it to you with my love! Watch me from there (Ai wo komete todokeru yo, Soko de mite ite)

[pbandjesse]

I took a sick day today. Which u do not like doing at all!!! But I felt so bad and needed to just be alone and rest. And thankfully I am feeling a lot better. Like I think if I had done more today I wouldn't feel great, but the rest really did help.

This morning I woke up and felt no good. James was right there and I told them I felt bad and wanted to sleep more. So I reset my alarm for 8.

When I woke up at 8 though I felt so bad. My mouth and throat felt so swollen and my chest hurt. So I sent an email to camp that I did not feel good and wouldn't be in. But I would do a little work at home. And then I went back to sleep.

I woke up at 1030. I normally hate waking up after 10 but I needed it. And I still wasn't feeling amazing but once I washed my face and got dressed I felt a little better. I was glad I didn't go to work, but at least I wasn't dying anymore and in pain.

I made the bed and got dressed and went to have breakfast. James had left a sandwich for me. And I would sit on the bedroom floor and sorted my socks while I ate. I have two small suitcases of socks and I now have all the socks I wear on a daily basis in the top box and all my fun socks and special socks in the bottom box. Hopefully it will prevent me from being frustrated looking for socks in the morning.

I would spend the next couple hours working on my computer. The new laptop is working a lot better then it was. I set up shop in bed and worked on the PowerPoint for my outreaches. This ended up being a huge undertaking. Originally the plan was to make a general way to identify species. But then I was like there are so many species, plants, trees, animals. To many!! So I decided to focus on just trees. Which will mean I will have to update the descriptions of the program but that's okay. But then there are about 100 kinds of trees native to Maryland. So I was very overwhelmed. I decided to focus on just puhtok but that's still at least 50 according toe Charlotte. I have decided I am going to just focus on 8. 3 coniferous and 5 deciduous. And then just breaking down all the things you look for when trying to figure out what kind of tree you are looking at. And then I'll have some books and resources as references for the art portion of the program.

I lost steam though and wanted to lay down. So I called it a day and laid in bed watching videos and hanging out with sweetp.

I was texting Jess and she asked me a question that I had to get up to confirm. So I drug myself out of bed. She said that SodaStream bottles expire so I went to see when ours expires. One year left! Neat.

And since I was up I did some stuff around the apartment. Did a quick vacuum. Did a little sewing in the studio. I got a text that I had a package so I went down to get that. Walking on the stairs made me a little lightheaded. So I sat down for a few minutes opening my package.

My airpods case came but it was kind of ugly. I decided to fix it up. I didn't get a before picture but the after is posted. I took the ears off and put them on what was originally the bottom. It looked like it had a huge forehead before. I also added the nose. And brushed the fur out because it was all trapped in the stitching so it looks a lot better now. Has big muppet energy.

I had some stuff to glue. And discovered my chargeable hot glue gun is not charging. Ugh. So I found a different one. But was still annoying. I was glad I was able to get my gluing done.

I chilled on the couch and waited for James to get home. I was feeling a lot better. Throat still hurt but I was doing a lot better. After James would get home the plan was to go drop off the chair from camp with Callie. And then we would get pizza and then home to make Chex rice crispies for Jess'd party tomorrow.

James would take a little longer then expected to get home but it's all good. I wasn't in a rush. But James was stressed about it. When they got home we left almost immediately and got over to Callie and Charlotte's apartment and got the heavy ass chair in their apartment.

We stayed to talk for a few minutes. Charlotte showed us her costume (she's going as a salt shaker to Cate and Ross's margarita and Jimmy buffet) and James said it was an incredible move and was very animated which I thought was great. I love when James's big personality shines.

We said goodbye and went to R house. I waited in the car and it took a bit but I wasnt in a rush. James would come back to the car and we went home.

They left me here though to go to the grocery store so we could make rice krispies for Jess's party. But we needed Chex so James ended up going to 3 stores and it took almost an hour for them to come home. And they are like radiating stress. They just knocked down all of our Christmas sprinkles and that was a big mess but they are so upset. I hate seeing them so upset. Especially when no one is mad at them! Everything is fine! I love them very much and just want them to be happy inside and I can't fix the inside sad.

Now though it is time to make Chex rice crispies. Even though we are using corn Chex. Im sure they will still be good. And seasonal.

Goodnight everyone. I hope you are feeling good. And no one is sick tomorrow.

[dayisfading]

okay, this week. good god.

alright, so a little context because i don't really talk much in detail here: just under a year ago i was hired for my first job out of grad school, after looking for almost a year. the role seemed kind of below what i SHOULD be able to do with a master's degree but i was also coming up empty for several months and the role was at a nonprofit doing super important, really interesting things so i was like alright cool.

my job description was vague in part because it was a new role being added to support this huge federally-funded initiative (none of which i knew when i was hired). but pretty soon into it i got an idea of what i'd be doing, mostly working in excel, helping to compile data for analysis, doing some quality assurance work for other departments, and other miscellaneous stuff.

currently, however, i am mostly doing data analysis with the datasets i build/help build, and this data analysis is ongoing as we are working with education data with multiple schools in this initiative. the more time has gone on, the more i have been confused as to actual role delineation in my team, because aside from some specialized skills that each member of my team has and their longer tenure with the organization (literally between 3 and 12 years), we are all doing data analysis, and we currently have multiple data automation projects going on that will ideally eliminate the need for someone in my role who has to export/upload and cobble together data from different sources.

a member of our team is probably going to leave to join, funnily enough, our main partner organization in this initiative because they are hiring a director. this person is trying to use that as leverage to increase their pay and obtain a promotion here, but so far it's been clear that our organization isn't that interesting in promoting them (for reasons unknown to me -- they have an incredible skillset that will be very difficult to replace at nonprofit pay rates). so, they'll probably be leaving within the month.

anyway, they called me today in part to talk about work stuff and then gave me an update on that situation. but in that conversation, they also mentioned to me a conversation they had with our boss that circled back to a member of leadership that basically concerned my pay and my role and basically reiterated the question i have been asking myself for months and stated earlier: why exactly is my role different from the others on my team when we are doing similar work and have the same level of education? i didn't know what the analysts on my team make but i could sort of ballpark it based on what i know about pay for some other roles at the organization, and today in this convo they confirmed that they make around $12k+ more a year than i do. import to note that a few months into my work here the organization rolled out these surveys to assess things like culture, compensation, etc., and now they're beginning to put those findings into action. so compension is a noted Issue across the board, and it seems like from that convo that me getting an equitable raise/potentially promotion should be in the pipeline?

i was literally just crying to my therapist yesterday about how i can't afford rent. like i could probably barely afford a really shitty studio somewhere that i really wouldn't want to live and would probably be harmful to my health. i have some truly exorbitant living costs because my food options are so fucking expensive and i need supplements to function because the things i am prescribed don't work. i told her, like, i am living at home and saving money, but i have no fucking clue what i'm saving that money for. i had a map in my head that went undergrad -> grad school -> full-time job and just naively expected that i would eventually be able to -> move out after acquiring one. and now i can't, so i'm just sorta like. well. fuck is the point of all this.

it was so incredibly meaningful to hear someone not just demonstrate that they are advocating for me but to literally say it, like, say that i am valued, that i am doing good work, that i deserve more, because these are things i am questioning every single day. i am constantly wondering what more i would have to do, if i need to get some sort of data science certificate, or do extra courses in a specific program. and on top of that, my self doubt, social anxiety, and imposter syndrome constantly trying to discern whether or not people like me, or think i'm stupid, or think i'm not working hard enough, completely had me convinced that all those things are probably true even if people aren't saying it or doing anything to suggest it.

i have had more kind things said to/about me in the last week than i feel like i have in the whole duration of this job, to the point that it is almost dizzying. because i was literally talking to my therapist last week about this duality of problems i am currently facing which is that i have school brain, so i don't know how to measure success without a literal letter grade or mark of satisfaction, and in absence of that, i am in utter freefall and convinced that i must be failing.

i need to put this somewhere in part so that i don't forget! my brain is exceptional at holding on to negatives and discarding positives, and i need to get better balancing that.