#okay maybe i am Tired even w the coffee fuck lmao

[moon-ursidae]

GAME SESSION 2 RECAP

game spoilers and spoilers for the hbo series below the cut!!

hours played: (with MANY breaks) roughly 11 hours🥴

alright i ate WAYYYYY too much ramen at lunch haha then i had some coffee and watched some comfort videos before i go back in!!

i also have my dog next to me to keep me company this time haha

okay! so i left off where i was about to go into the town to find bill!

i know there’s a bloater coming up here soon and i’m SO SCARED

i’m so mad i wasted my shivs on those 2 clickers and then there’s a door that you can only get open w a shiv AND I CAN’T MAKE ANYMORE GODDAMNIT

the dialogue between joel & ellie about the arcade game was really cute :)

again, checking every nook and fucking cranny for supplies praying that i can get back to that door

FUCK WHERE’S THE SAFE COMBO?? PROBABLY IN THAT GODDAMN ROOM FUCKKK

I GOT IN THE DOOR! lots of supplies but no dice on the combo :(

FOUND IT! fuck yea supplies🕺🏻🕺🏻

today i’ve learned that i’m a horrible shot in this game LMAO

bro ellie is F E R A L

bill: “you better stay right on my ass” “can’t miss it” THE WAY JOEL GRABS HER AND SAYS “knock it off” IS SO DAD OF HIM LMAOOOOOO I AM CACKLING

as of right now, i kinda like bill. he’s exactly what you’d think someone would be like if they were surviving on their own. and he’s clearly smart bc he has a whole ass town covered in traps and barbed wire. very resourceful. a valuable ally

i also like that he and ellie are extremely sassy and sarcastic toward one another and joel is just like 🙄

can i get some fucking slack plz w all these runners and clickers LMAO

i’d honestly rather deal w clickers tho than any other infected

this house looks a lot like clementine’s house from the telltale walking dead game!! i wonder if it was on purpose👀

also was lowkey hoping for an uncharted 2 marco polo reference in the pool. darn :/

OKAY THE JOURNAL UPSTAIRS WAS A LIL TOO REAL. brought back some pandemic flashbacks.

ellie trying to apologize about tess :(

and then he said “ellie you don’t have to worry about me” UGGHH MY HEART. such a goddamn dad.

oh fuck it’s the school

BLOATER TIME OH FUCK

BLOATER DEAD. I AM SWEATING PROFUSELY

poor frank and bill dude :(

THE TRUCK! AHH

also sorry but bill’s reaction to frank’s note was kinda funny to me “fuck you too”

THE OPTIONAL DIALOGUE W ELLIE STOP 🥹

“you’re doin a good job” and she said “i won’t let you down with this” AHHH🥺

the similarity between some of joel’s mannerisms and some of pedro’s from previous roles is CRAZY

OMG after she showed the comic she stole from Bill the way joel just sighs and asked “what did ya get?” in an exasperated tone💀

NOT THE PORNO MAG💀 “get rid of that!”

PLZ THIS IS SO FUNNY “why are they all stuck together?” joel just like “um.” i bet in his head he’s like ohmyfuckinggodhowdoiexplainthistoa14yearoldgirl

“i’m not even tired” *instantly cuts to her passed tf out* 💀💀

omg the iconic scene where she’s looking out the window slay

oh my god we’re getting to parts of the game that they’ve been filming!! i’m interested to see what the truck crash into the store looks like in post!

also the music playing while they were attacking the truck was badass

people are almost as scary as the infected bro. this garage full of stuff? disturbing that PEOPLE did this.

joel was a hunter???? holy shit bro

i’m wondering if it was soon after the apocalypse?? to get his anger out about what happened to sarah? or maybe he didn’t have a choice in the matter? i’m very curious to learn more about that.

i knew joel was a complex character but goddamn. this man has been through the fuckin ringer

“keep your voice down.” and she fucking mocks him going “okay” in a deep gruff voice I LOVE HER

okay i’ve had enough of these damn hunters bro goddamn

okay so i already forgot some things haha i took a break to eat

her acting like a hotel guest at the counter🥺 so cute

THE JOKE BOOK!!! MAKES AN APPEARANCE!!! YEEEEEAAAAA

“what’s not right?” “left?” I LOVE THAT JOEL GOES ALONG WITH IT

they’re so cute i would die for them

goddamnit i knew there would be SOMETHING soon. more hUnTeRs

i would like out of this hotel lmao i hate enclosed combat zones. the one’s outside are nicer

I FUCKIN KNEW THAT ELEVATOR WAS GONNA COLLAPSE FUCK JOEL OH MY GOD

i don’t like when they’re seperated i’m scared :(

i haven’t been alone this whole time and that is what has kept me sane and playing the game LMAO

i very much don’t like the sounds down here

I FUCKING HATE THIS OOOOOO I HATE IT VERY MUCH DOWN HERE

is this the hotel basement meme?

like from the vanity fair lie detector video?

my face is fucking RED i am very much hot and sweaty

oh god i thought the underwater part was what people meme’d about. i’ve only seen spores but that’s a sign bro.

I FUCKING DID IT. HOLY FUCK. MY HEART IS BEATING OUT OF MY CHEST I FEEL LIKE I’M GONNA THROW UP. I GOTTA TAKE A BREATHER LMAOOOO

oh thank fuck back to dealing with people thank god dude

oh my god is this ellie’s first kill? joel’s being kind of an ass about it. i’m glad ellie’s laying it on him. YEA TEACH HIM TO BE HUMBLE ELLIE

i feel so fucking bad for ellie dude. there’s an immediate shift in her body language as well. she’s like folded in on herself after joel was a shithead. and oh yeah her first fucking kill is at 14??? and joel is like dismissing her?? i oughta smack the shit outta that boy

i mean i kinda feel bad for both bc i feel like joel is trying to navigate this without getting attached bc he lost sarah. he knows he’s gonna have to seperate from ellie at some point. maybe he’s trying to fight the paternal instinct to get super attached to ellie bc of that? and obviously ellie is going through it. everyone’s after her, she has to keep her immunity secret, she just killed a man, and joel is being a dick. i just wanna hug both of them :(

oh my god and now him teaching her how to handle a rifle UGGGHHHH dude i’m gonna CRY

and she just killed more people🥺 ELLIE I’M SORRY HONEY

she looks so fucking guilty oh my god

“how’d i do?” STOP🥺

“how about somethin a little more your size” AND HER LITTLE “okay.” AND THE MUSIC AND I’M GONNA CRRYYYYYYY

AND HIM STUTTERING AND MAKING SURE ABOUT THE SAFETY ON THE GUN I- AHHHHHHHHHHHH🥺🥺🥺

oh shit! i wonder if this is the part that they’ve been filming with the hunter trucks!

that poor couple :(

the “let’s just get to the bridge” and ellie saying “okay” w a shaky breath :( LET ME HUG HER DUDE

almost to the bridge🕺🏻🕺🏻

omg joel saw the movie that’s promoted everywhere. and basically insinuated that sarah wanted to see it and joel saw it w her.🥺

alright i stopped after finding some optional dialogue w ellie. the chair that i sit in to play games makes my back and neck hurt SO BAD. and they both hurt hella so imma call it.

all in all, this play session was STRESSFUL. there were a lot of times where i had to go calm down for a bit before coming back. and also food breaks, and i have dogs to take care of as well haha. i really like seeing joel and ellie’s dynamic develop! :)

i really love this game so far. i’ve never really been one to talk a lot about combat systems in games just bc i play games for the story. and the last of us has a phenomenal story and really good writing so far. i’m excited to see the bond that joel and ellie have deepen, and what else is in store for our dynamic duo.

i have a feeling in my gut that i’m gonna get chased in a humvee by hunters tomorrow. but we’ll find out 😳

[aceyanaheim]

Not for nothing but I feel like teachers shouldnt assing homework during homecoming week like i in fact think they should do the legit and actual opposite of that both legitimately and actually

[hannie-dul-set]

DON’T THINK, JUST DO — na jaemin.

SUMMARY. an overthinker, a piece of advice, a sudden confession, and a subtle meltdown.

PAIRING. na jaemin x g.n. reader GENRE. high school! au, f2l, fluff, humor WARNINGS. swearing WORD COUNT. 1.6k TAGLIST. @danishmiilk​ @wownajaemin​ @leejunini​ @astroboy-lele​ @unknown5tar​ @yunoyeol​ @w0nni3wrld​ @charm-art​ @bat-shark-repellant​ @nct-writers​ @czennienet​ @neowritingsnet​ @kpopscape​

NOTE. surprise LMAO take this quick fic that i wrote in a couple of hours after a bathroom apology for being mia this past week, for not keeping my promises, and for my further disappearance within the next few days/weeks because i am, quite frankly, about to mcfreaking die <3 enjoy.

Self study period. Eight in the morning. Everything was normal— seemingly normal— save for the empty spot beside you where your deskmate should be occupying, perhaps pestering you yet again about the importance of eating breakfast if he were here, but he wasn’t. It was odd.

He’s never been late before.

Saying that makes it sound like you were closely knitted with Na Jaemin, the present absentee and your deskmate for about three years, but you couldn’t admit that you were. You couldn’t admit that you weren’t, either. Still, even if you weren’t as bro with him like his members in the school’s dance team, or as involved in his personal troubles as his childhood best friend, but at least you’ve seen the kind of lunch he brings to school every single day for three straight years. That was probably enough to form some sort of bond— though trivial, maybe even feeble, but it was enough.

That was also enough for you to develop an unsurprising crush on him. Your self-awareness was annoying enough to throw away any ounce of denial.

Which was also why you were worrying over your head when he missed the first period, even more so when he arrived like a disheveled zombie midway through the second.

“Na Jaemin,” you greeted his tardy arrival with your eyebrows creasing in worry. He greeted you with a usual good morning and his usual smile— or so he attempted to. But that smile lasted for approximately 0.813 seconds before he fell onto his seat with a contorted groan. “What’s wrong? Are you sick? Did you practice too hard yesterday? Gosh, you should know better than to overdo it.”

Jaemin only whined when you reached out to pitifully caress his hair, his gaunt face and evident dark circles down buried in his arms. “I’m so tired.”

Dear lord, what happened to the model student that seemed to shine day in, day out despite his overly packed and strenuous schedule? You frowned, telling him that he should just sleep through the rest of the morning and you’d cover for him, but he rose from his slumped over position and waved you off. 

“I can manage,” he gave you a tired smile. “I already missed a lot by being late.”

“You idiot, are you trying to die?” you huffed, snapping your attention off of him in annoyance. “Wait a minute, why does he look fine? Tsk. Lee Donghyuck were you slacking off while your team members were dancing to death?”

The man in question flinched, dropping his phone with a painful noise onto the table when you turned around and smacked a notebook onto his desk.

“Oi, what the fuck? What would you know when you weren’t even there?”

“Then why do you still look fresh while poor, tired Jaemin over here is—”

“It’s not that.”

You turned back around to the worn out voice beside you.

“I just didn’t get any sleep last night.”

To your surprise, Jaemin was the one who came to Donghyuck’s aid.

Donghyuck’s glare was enough to drill two gaping holes into your skill, and you simply bowed and gave him a sheepish grin in apology before switching your attention lanes back to Jaemin. Not the most embarrassing thing you’d ever done, but shameful all the same. “Then why didn’t you say so— anyway, that’s not the point. Did you stay up playing games again? Gosh, did Lee Jeno force you to rank with him? I swear, you guys should—”

“It’s kinda nice to see you worrying about me,” he chuckled, falling back down into his desk with his arms crossed and looking up at you with an invisible, fond grin. “But it’s not that either.”

Damn your stomach for suddenly deciding to stumble over at that insignificant gesture of his. He wasn’t even doing anything, but look at you. All of a sudden, guilt decided to gnaw at your conscience because while Na Jaemin was barely holding onto his consciousness, you were busy fawning over his charms despite the fatigue. You didn’t deserve to sit next to him.

“I was thinking.”

Your thoughts froze.

“About?”

“Things.”

“Like…?”

“Whether I should do this or not, whether I should just give up or not, whether I’m actually stupid or not...” Jaemin sighed, eyes closed in contemplation, or perhaps finally in drowsiness. You hoped that he’d just give in and sleep. “...those things.”

What could he have possibly been thinking about that the poor boy couldn’t even sleep? Whatever it was— cure that entirely. This was a crime. Maybe you shouldn’t confiscate his thermos of coffee later.

“Aish,” you raked your fingers through your hair, expelling an exasperated sigh. “Na Jaemin, as a professional overthinker, let me give you some professional advice—”

He perked up, eye now a little wider and looking at you in a swirl of interest and attentiveness.

“—don’t.”

And now confusion was thrown into the mix.

“You see, it’s an endless, torturous cycle with the only endgame being regret. You believe that you’re only gonna mull it over for a mere moment, weigh your pros and cons, and come up with a decision after a few minutes of thinking—” you breathed it sharply, shaking your head in faux dismay. “—but the ‘what if’s’ come around and before you know it, it’s already five in the fucking morning and you have to go to school in a few hours looking like a contaminated corpse.”

Jaemin blinked his sunken eyes at you. He wasn’t sure what to say, but somehow your speech full of vigor, confidence, and a ridiculous form of charisma drew out all the exhaustion from his veins. He buried his face back into his arms to avoid looking at you.

“Right?”

He pressed his lips together to prevent a smile from forming too wide, but you wouldn’t be able to see, anyway. “Right, you’re right,” but maybe you could hear it in the tone of his muffled voice.

You grinned, proudly nodding to yourself at his affirmation. “Which is why, before you end up following me into this hidden circle of hell— you should just stop. Don’t think. Fuck impulse control. There’s no time to regret when you’ve already done it. It’s not easy. Absolutely not. But it’s better to just get it over with and deal with the consequences after rather than living in an endless loop. So repeat after me— don’t think.”

Slowly, Jaemin peeked out from his huddled position, sitting up straight and looking right at you.

“Don’t think.”

“Just do.”

“Just do.”

“Perfect! You got it,” you beamed. “Don’t think, just do, okay? I believe in you, Jaemin.”

The advice that was haphazardly spilling from your lips was seemingly a bit crooked in nature— arguably so— but he seemed to be genuinely considering it. Jaemin was silent for a moment, blanking out at the rows in front of the both of you before he softly spoke up, eyebrows scrunched together, his head cocking to the side.

“Should I...?”

“Yeah, definitely! You don’t have anything to lose if you do it, right?” he spared another moment of consideration, and you kept going. “...whatever it is— but that doesn’t matter, just do it. If you do, you wouldn’t lose another night of sleep because of it.”

Self study period went on as is, but luckily you two weren’t the only ones not studying. You left him alone to rest and think about it more while you scribbled down answers for an assignment that was due later— highly contradictory to your suggestion of not thinking, but all was released when you heard Jaemin drop his pen to the table, followed after by a long, deep sigh.

“Alright.”

A bright smile overtook you as you busied yourself with the assignment.

“I like you.”

That smile disappeared with a loud and violent cough.

Oh, what the fuck.

“You told me to just do it, so there, I just did it. I like you,” he yawned as he melted into his books, peering over to look at the utter shock and disbelief in your frozen expression. Jaemin had to hold back a laugh. “You don’t have to follow your own advice— take as much time as you need— but I don’t want you losing sleep over me just as I did over you.”

With that, he decided that this was the best fucking time to finally disappear into sleep. You wanted to scream— the feeling of your throat twisting over itself with the indignant desire to squeeze out something, but there was sharp heat at every breath that prevented you from doing so.

You settled for two words only.

“Holy fuck.”

“Thank you for that quick and eloquent response,” Jaemin flipped over, looking at you with tired eyes and an equally tired smile, but despite all that he was still lively. “At least it wasn’t a blatant rejection.”

You thought that you wouldn’t have to make eye contact with him when his bangs were messily covering his eyes, but your regret came late when you caught the subtle quirk of the corners of his lips when you looked down at him in your daze. “W—wait, who said anything about rejecting you? How dare you drop that bomb onto me when I’m unprepared? I’m never giving you advice ever again.”

Self study period over. Nine in the morning. The bell rang and before your deskmate of three years, your crush of a little less than that could slip back into the slumber that he’d missed because of you, he managed to speak in a soft voice.

“Take your time.”

© hannie-dul-set, 2021.

[miraeluc]

you have an anxiety attack

prompt: “after a long day you’re just trying to cook for you and your roommate, but when you accidentally switch salt and sugar the stress dawns upon you and you lose it.”

pairing: kaeya x gender-neutral reader

warnings: description of an anxiety attack, explicit language

word count: 1.6k

genre: fluff, angst

rough day? 

no

roughest of the rough 

it started in the morning - all was good until you were all dressed and ready to go

all you needed to do was brush your teeth

of course you dropped toothpaste on your new blouse and had to change because your boss would literally kill you if you strutted in there with toothpaste stains on your clothing 

that didn’t upset you too much anyway,, yep, it kinda sucks but it is what it is

you went to work

that’s when it started to REALLY go downhill

first, you had to sit your ass in this tiny cubicle all day and it remained right on that chair every time you stood up

that’s what it felt like at least

then, you lost data that you’ve been working on for a MONTH

an entire month’s worth data!!!! LOST!!!!

curse you and your issue with forgetting where you put your folders

so you started over

was it worth it? 

no

your boss hated it

you ended up dropping the project overall,, handed it over to a co-worker

your excuse was that you felt too ‘unfit’ for the whole project and he would totally be a better fit!

poor bennett 

bennett is a nice guy, you always hang out with him during break

you usually talk shit about the other co-workers and he just listens and sits there like ◕ ◡ ◕

he’s just there for the food you bring him, really 

he’s a little dumb so he took the project from you with no hesitation

“i’ll do it for you, dont even worry about it, y/n!”

you ended up working overtime 

you had about 7 projects to finish until tomorrow morning and they were all only half-done 

so you got your coffee, turned off your phone and got to work

you finished at 9pm

your work hours are 8am-5:30pm

nope, not having a great time 

well, at least you can go home now!

you pack up your stuff and get up, leaving this hellhole of an office, stretching as you wait for the elevator before checking your phone to see 7 missed calls from your roommate

aka kaeya

aka boy that is most likely emotionally unavailable

aka boy that KEEPS TURNING OFF THE HEATERS TO LEAVE YOU TO FREEZE

his excuse is always that he can’t handle the warmth but you’re sure its so you whine about the cold so he can hug you to warm you up

maybe you have a teeny tiny crush on him???? BUT WHO CAN BLAME YOU 

he’s a whole package - the only thing he’s lacking is emotional availability lmao

which is why you never mentioned the day by day blooming feelings you’ve been developing for him

there would be no positive outcome from you telling him. he would politely turn you down, having to explain yet again that he doesn’t see himself having actual romantic feelings to someone 

you’re content with your current relationship with him

right?

kaeya is known as the fuckboy! of the city

neither of you mind, he’s having his fun

and you know that there’s much more to it 

you’re very happy to have gained his trust enough for him to let his flirty side down when with you, at least

well, there’s no time to ponder over your relationship with him because you’re already sprinting to catch the last bus of the day

right as you got to the station it drove away

fuck

what now?

you have to walk home. alone. in the dark.

oh well. 

usually bennett drives you home but obviously he left earlier

its only a 15 minute walk you can do it

it’s not that bad there’s street lamps hey!

not that bad until it starts to rain, apparently

by the time you get home there’s water in places rainwater shouldn’t be

kaeya is running by the time he hears the front door

“where were you??”

“why didn’t you reply to my calls??”

“do you have a slight idea about how worried i w-”

he stops when he sees your soaked figure and tired expression

“oh, y/n, what happened?” 

he immediately helped you chuck off your wet coat and shoes 

“i worked overtime and missed the last bus so i had to walk home”, you sighed

he nodded and hummed “Go ahead and take a shower then, wouldn’t want you to get sick now, would we?” he winked

you scoffed but nodded anyway

 “yeah, especially in this coLD FUCKING APARTMENT BECAUSE YOU REFUSE TO LET THE HEATERS TURNED ON-”

you only heard him laugh before shutting the door in the bathroom and jumping into the shower, needing to warm up because you were sure your toes were about to fall off from the cold

at least the shower went well

:///

you got dressed in lounge attire when you got out of the shower, walking to the kitchen because you were very hungry

you gave bennett all your food today so you didnt have any left

he just looked so hungry

ANYWAYS

you’re in the kitchen, deciding on what to cook

if you ask kaeya he will tell you to just drink wine instead so, no

you kind of want something sweet so you decide to bake cupcakes

kaeya shows up too

“what’re you baking?”

he sat and watched as you gathered all the ingredients you need

“cupcakes. how was your day?”

you strike up a conversation - all you talked about today was work and you need some decent interaction, plus kaeya is a super nice talk partner

“good. i had a day-off today so i layed in bed all day”

you hummed, stirring the eggs and flour 

“how come? you never get off”

“no reason, i was forcibly given a day off- well anyways, what i wanted to tell you about before you worried me because i thoght you were deAD when you didn’t respond, is that i need your help setting up a date for diluc-”

you stopped listening halfway

you were looking at the unopened sugar bag on the counter

you just stirred the sugar in, why is it unopened????

you look over at the open bag of salt

wait a second 

you take out a little dough and taste it

FUCK

“hello??? earth to y/n?? are you even liste-”

he stops himself as soon as you look at him with your lower lip trembling 

uhhhhh

he’s never been in this situation

“y/n?? why are you crying-”

he looks at the counter and the dough, then he sees the salt beside the bowl you were stirring in and leans over to try some

oh, that’s why

“oh come on, is that what you’re crying over?” he snorted

he could barely catch you when you collapsed and started sobbing 

he immediately regreted what he said

“hey, y/n, it’s just a little dough! its okay-” 

you just sobbed and he sat down with you, sighing and pulling you into a tight hug

you felt your lungs constricting and your hands started shaking 

you didn’t even notice how antsy you felt all day until now

you gasped for air and he tightened his grip on you

“w-why am i so worthless?!”

you punched his chest

“i can’t do a single thi-ng with-out messing it up!”

punch

“i’m so us-useless”

punch

“i should just kill m-”

he immediately pulled away and cupped your face before you could finish what you were about to say

“y/n, look at me. you had a bad day - you’re not useless! you’re stressed out! you’re one of the most hardworking people that i know- and, and don’t you ever mention anything about killing yourself! i won’t let you go, not as long as im here”

you were too busy fighting against the constricting feeling in your lungs to notice the tear slipping down his cheek before he hugged you tightly again

your hands gripped at his tshirt

his hand rested over your shaky ones

it broke him

seeing you in such state hurt him so much, he felt his own heart breaking a little with every gasp you took 

“come on, let’s breathe together”

his voice was soft when he spoke to you

he took a deep breath in, you following

you wrapped your arms around him and leaned your head against his chest when breathing out 

hearing his heartbeat made you feel safe

he kept breathing with you until he was more than sure you could breathe comfortably again 

why did he feel like this?

sure, flirting with girls is fun 

and ghosting them is also fun

he usually doesn’t care about hurting them

but why does he feel the need to protect you from all bad things?

and why does your pain hurt him too?

he sighs and shakes his head as if that would clear his mind 

(it doesn’t)

oh well. 

taking care of your needs is more important right now

he picks you up and walks over to the couch, sitting down, placing you on his lap and hugging you 

“you’re not cooking anything, we’ll order takeout.”

you sniffled and nodded 

you did feel your heart flutter a little when he sat you down on him

he’s never done that 

you ignore it and reside into the warmth he gives instead, nuzzling your face into his chest 

he smiles softly and strokes your hair, using his free hand to type in what you were ordering

you both fell into a comfortable silence

at some point he thought you fell asleep lol

“kaeya?”

he rose his brows a little and looked down, humming

“thank you.”

additional notes: welp. this was my first drabble! it was very fun to write and i genuinely look forward to writing more! i’d appreciate it alot if you leave any feedback or even requests for drabbles :-)

[inspiringwhilerespiring]

Get to know me?

Yoooo - yall remember Myspace, and people would blog survey posts lol. Well thats me, I’m people. And I just wanna write my lil heart out and avoid all of my real life responsibilities. So found a lil questionnaire thing and I’m gonna fill it out. Also lowkey like doing this every so often so I can look back on it and reflect and see how much I may have grown/changed/shifted viewzzz ya feel? :) 

Sooo here yall go <3 

1. Who was the last person you held hands with?

My neice maybe?

2. Are you outgoing or shy?

People who know me would tell me to put outgoing, but I honestly feel shy on the inside, so it just depends.

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?

Literally anyone lmao fuck this quarantine

4. Are you easy to get along with?

Definitely

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?

Lets hope so

6. What kind of people are you attracted to?

Kind souls <3 always notice how they talk to their friends and family, but even people they don’t know like servers or janitors, etc. that shit matters heavy.

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?

Probably not

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?

A few homies

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

Nah not really, just depends

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

Not sure -it’s been a min since I had a “deep” connection or convo that I can remember - but was probably with my bestie R’Bo

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?

“Google that shit” lmao me, giving advice to my friends

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

TOUGH!!!! After Hours by The Weeknd is up there, Cayendo by Frank Ocean (been jamming his shit HAARD lately) and Inside Friend by Leon Bridges & John Mayer….but also been listening to albums - like Childish’s new album, Floreyyy for lo-fi shit, and also got into 070 Shake recently just to name a few.

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?

FUCK YA

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?

Yeah budddyy

15. What good thing happened this summer?

Idk, my bday party was lit?? And lots of river floats happened

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

Lol

17. Do you think there is life on other planets?

Cant deny that there isn’t so yaaa

18. Do you still talk to your first crush?

No

19. Do you like bubble baths?

Yes

20. Do you like your neighbors?

Just moved, so don’t know em

21. What are you bad habits?

Procrastination lol and biting my nails

22. Where would you like to travel?

Literally ANNNYY-fuckin-WHERE!

23. Do you have trust issues?

Hmm I wanna say generally no, but I also always keep it one hunnnid with myself, and as much as I’d like to say I don’t have any - I think I def have insecurities with myself, that have the potential to become “trust issues” in certain relationships, but overall no. I live by the whole “you have my trust til you fuck it up” mantra

24. Favorite part of your daily routine?

Coffee in the morning lately, missed it and forgot how energized it makes me - gives me time to wake up and reflect/set daily goals

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?

Stomach forever :((((

26. What do you do when you wake up?

Scroll on my phone, pee usually, or feed my cat lol

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?

Tanner maybe?

28. Who are you most comfortable around?

My mom or my best friend R’Bonney - but any of my close friends and fam honestly

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?

Not directly

30. Do you ever want to get married?

Lol ok, so this is always changing…but lately (and by lately I mean the past few years) its been a no. I’m open minded though and am aware that I’m always changing my mind sooo who knows

31. Is your hair long enough for a pony tail?

yeppperoo

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?

Honestly, those aren’t my “thing” lollike id prob laugh or be awkward or just have to be hellllla drunk - but like I wouldn’t mind Jason Momoa and Tom Hardy tossin me around

33. Spell your name with your chin.

hjaylkee

34. Do you play sports? What sports?

Scocer back in the day - actually went and kicked it like a week ago for the first time in YEARSSSS - felt so damn good

35. Would you rather live without TV or music?

TV, music forreeevverrr

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?

Lol story of my life

37. What do you say during awkward silences?

“Soooo” then probably ask a question or some shit lol

38. Describe your dream girl/guy?

Hmmm…definitely have to be funny/have a good sense of humor. They’d have to be open-minded for sure. Up for trying new things, places, cultures, food, music, etc. Just have an adventurous spirit I guess when it comes to that. Have a good line of communication/openness - and just be able to have a deep/intellectual convo about anything and everything. Bonuses: taller than me, likes cooking, and going to music shows.

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?

Amazon lol I hate shopping

40. What do you want to do after high school?

To go back to high school :( lmao so much id re-do, cant believe its almost been a decade

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?

Hell yeah, this is life my dudes, dont take it so seriously - we all fuck up at some point or another

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?

Something is on my mind for sure, or im just tired lol

43. Do you smile at strangers?

Yeah

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?

DAMNNN WHAT so hard - I guesss if I had to pick, space…just because it’s more rare/harder to do I’d think.

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?

My cat lol with his meowing ass

46. What are you paranoid about?

Lowkey a lot lol

47. Have you ever been high?

8)

48. Have you ever been drunk?

Who hasn’t????

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?

naw

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?

Black probably, like half my wardrobe

51. Ever wished you were someone else?

Of course

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?

My bad habits

56. Favourite colour?

Yelllllow :)

57. Favourite food?

Oh gaaawwd, literally anything - lately: PB&J’s, fries, wings, Mediterranean, Mexican, pickles, ice cream, ramenzzzz

58. Last thing you ate?

Pistachios

59. First thing you ate this morning?

Cofffeeee w creamer

60. Ever won a competition? For what?

Idk, not off the top of my head - maybe something back in elementary

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?

Nah

62. Been arrested? For what?

Yeah lmao

63. Ever been in love?

Yes

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?

No its really not that interesting and idc to type it out

65. Are you hungry right now?

24/7/365

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?

Lol yes a few of them <333

67. Facebook or Twitter?

FB

68. Twitter or Tumblr?

Tumblr

69. Are you watching tv right now?

Noooo

70. Names of your bestfriends?

R’Bonney is number 1

71. Craving something? What?

Foooood, and companionship? Lol

72. What colour are your towels?

Idk, random, mostly blue

72. How many pillows do you sleep with?

A lot lol

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?

Lol no, but I have my one from my childhood in my room

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?

1 - shout out to you Mr.Fluffy

75. Favourite animal?

I am fascinated by sharks; and like gators/crocs. But I have mad respect for elephants, they’re sooo damn smart and beautiful.

76. What colour is your underwear?

Dont have any on

77. Chocolate or Vanilla?

BITCHHHH CHOC

78. Favourite ice cream flavour?

All of them

79. What colour shirt are you wearing?

Tie-dye

80. What colour pants?

none

81. Favourite tv show?

Game of Thrones prob

82. Favourite movie?

Avatar or Shawshank Redemption

87. First person you talked to today?

Sissy

88. Last person you talked to today?

Friend on FT

89. Name a person you hate?

No one, maybe Trump? lol

90. Name a person you love?

Everyone, fr fr

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?

Nah

92. In a fight with someone?

Nah

93. How many sweatpants do you have?

Not enough <3

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?

Not enough <3

95. Last movie you watched?

The Decline on Netflix, short lil foreign oil, was deep/interesting

96. Favourite actress?

Not sure-Sandra Bullock? Or Meryl

97. Favourite actor?

Denzel or Morgan Freeman

98. Do you tan a lot?

Nah not anymore honestly

99. Have any pets?

Yessss

100. How are you feeling?

Mediocre

101. Do you type fast?

Ya

102. Do you regret anything from your past?

Im sure

103. Can you spell well?

Ya

104. Do you miss anyone from your past?

Lol im nostalgic af, so yes

105. Ever been to a bonfire party?

Yes litttty tittyyy

106. Ever broken someone’s heart?

Probably :(

107. Have you ever been on a horse?

Hell yeah brother, I’m from TX

108. What should you be doing?

So much shit lol

109. Is something irritating you right now?

The fact that I ain’t doing all the shit I should be lol

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?

Yooo yes

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?

Prob my sister or my mom?? Lol I cry a lot, idk and idc

113. What was your childhood nickname?

Hayls?

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?

Yes

115. Do you play the Wii?

Back in the day

116. Are you listening to music right now?

Surprisingly, no

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?

Nah, unless maybe if its homemade

118. Do you like Chinese food?

Yeah occasionally, more of a Thai food chick or Japanese

119. Favourite book?

Kite Runner

120. Are you afraid of the dark?

Low-key sometimes lol

121. Are you mean?

Hell noooo

122. Is cheating ever okay?

Ok, this is an interesting one lol I mean no, it’s not “okay” - since it usually constitutes lying/hiding/hurting someone - BUTTTT, for a lack of a better term - I wanna say it’s “normal”? But thats because I, personally, am on the fence about the concept of monogamy. Like no, I’ve never cheated nor experienced that in return - but the whole concept of monogamy and like that a person can love and only love or be with one person is WILLLLDDD and I can’t help but note that its a social construct that we, as a society, are conditioned to from the time we are born. Idk if that makes sense bc im high af lol but those are my thoughts…like to sum it up - cheating is fucked up and sucks, but at the same time its not all that surprising/shocking anymore, like borderline “normalized” just as divorces are and shit, so I feel like bc biologically we aren’t made to be with one person lol. I don’t condone it tho. Thanks for coming to my TedTalk.

123. Can you keep white shoes clean?

Hell to the naw naw

124. Do you believe in love at first sight?

Hmmm idk about that one, but also can’t deny it

125. Do you believe in true love?

Yeah of course, you’re talking to a hopeless romantic

126. Are you currently bored?

I guess we could say that

127. What makes you happy?

Food and close, loved ones

128. Would you change your name?

Nah, too much paper work

129. What your zodiac sign?

Cancer, with my lil moody, sensitive ass

130. Do you like subway?

I did lol

131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

Story of my mf life lol literally all my exes are “best friends turned lovers” situation, so guess it would just depend lmao

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

133. Favourite lyrics right now?

Lol oh godddd; ok off the top of my head - Tupac - Keep Ya Head Up is what comes to mind; just a timeless song and the lyrics are still relevant/apply to this day and idk just really resonate with the message behind that song <3

135. Dumbest lie you ever told?

Idk, but it was probably SO dumb, and told to my parents lol

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?

Either or, lately open so my cat can go in and out lol

137. How tall are you?

5’6 mayyybeee 5’5 actually lol

140. Summer or Winter?

Fall!!

141. Night or Day?

Def a lil night owl, always have been

142. Favourite month?

April and October for weather at least

143. Are you a vegetarian?

No but I try, and go through phases, I’m definitely mindful the older I get and more focused on my health I become

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?

FUCKIN ALLLLL

145. Tea or Coffee?

Coffee but I like tea too, just seem to drink coffee more regularly

146. Was today a good day?

The grateful-to-just-be-alive in me wants to say yes lol but idk, felt off/unaccomplished and cried a lot, so no.

147. Mars or Snickers?

Snickers

148. What’s your favourite quote?

“This too shall pass”

149. Do you believe in ghosts?

Sure why not

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?

“After all, what he had always wanted was just that: to know new places.” -The Alchemist, Paulo Coelho

[in-tua-deep]

How do you think things would have changed if Five has come back even younger than in canon? Like if he came back as 7 or 8 or even younger? Also, I love your writing. You’re an amazing writer and I love reading your stuff.

first of all that would be hilarious because as much as media has tricked you into thinking older child actors (who are easier to work with) are younger (I mean case in point, Five is supposed to be thirteen but the actor is fifteen and those two years can make a big difference at that age) or animated movies can’t decide on a size for their character, but for real seven-year-olds in real life are BABIES

that’s like. the equivalent of a second grader?? I think i was about to go into year three living in the netherlands. I thought the year six kids were ancient. I didn’t care about bodily harm and would just hurl myself into cartwheels and handstands (nowadays not so much)

That was about the age I was losing teeth for the Very First Time and also the age I almost gave myself a concussion playing on the playground equipment (I blacked out and woke up in the nurses office lmao) and I thought the singing talents of Sandy from Hamtaro were the greatest in the world (the twirling ribbon song was formative for me)

seven was also the age for me that i realized that romance was The Worst because my best friend george decided that the pulling pigtails version of bugging me was a sure fire way to get my attention or something like that. but like,, george and me had chicken pox together. we pretended we were cheetahs in our treetop bunkbed nest together (we had a very loose grasp of the difference between cheetahs and jaguars and other big cats, admittedly). He was my best friend he didn’t need to pull my hair or anything rip

like can you even IMAGINE if five came back as a second grader?? yeah like maybe someone would serve thirteen-year-old Five black coffee but no one is going to just hand this baby child anything with caffeine are you kidding me

his feet wouldn’t even be able to reach the peDALS OF THE CAR

wow this would inconvenience him so much

i can’t even find a picture of my brother that young smh but here’s him and me when he was? probably about nine or ten and I was actually probably about six and smiling with a closed mouth to hide the fact that i was missing teeth or something smh

that is TWO WHOLE BABIES right there i’m just genuinely dying at the thought of Five popping out and he’s just. a gradeschooler. that suit would have been swimming on him and he’s got little chubby cheeks built to absorb shock and whatever atrocious child haircut he had at that age 

(i have posted before about my genuine shock that five was ten in the comics. ten!! that’s a whole baby! a child! W H A T)

but?? does he pop up from jumping through his portal and look in the mirror and find that he’s missing some teeth? Can he whistle air through the gaps? i’m just picturing seven-year-old five getting socked in the face and losing some teeth or something and diego is right there to patronizingly tell him that it’s okay they’re probably just baby teeth and five is about to punch diego’s teeth out in a second if he keeps that up by jove

imagine five jumping and standing on the counter and he still can’t reach the marshmallows because they’re on the top shelf of the cupboard do you know how angry that would make him?? he would have about 60% less time for his siblings bullshit than normal because his small stature can only hold so much emotion at any one time and he has decided to go with seething rage for the foreseeable future

can you imagine how difficult that would be for Allison though?? Five at thirteen was bad but Five-at-around-Claire’s-age??? a billion times worse and she’s probably going to either be super avoidant because it’s painful or full on protective mama bear

it would definitely change a lot of plot stuff because i mean. no one’s going to let this tiny child drive. he can’t reach the pedals, duh. however, he might persuade one of the siblings (diego and klaus, probably) to drive him to griddy’s instead? Because with the options being “so help me i will walk there myself. alone. at night. as a small and innocent looking child” and driving him and keeping him company i think the latter wins out

(i’d nix griddy’s altogether but i’m way too invested in hazel and agnes getting together tbh)

hey wait does being that young mean that five doesn’t have his umbrella tattoo?? huh. well regardless if diego and klaus accompany him then the plot point of agnes telling the assassin squad about the tattoo can still happen so i guess it’s a moot point

but honestly the drama of having this tiny child just. completely annihilate the hit squad is hilarious to me, and it would also hit home the fact that hey! five might be telling the truth about everything and isn’t messed up by time travel! i mean whomst the fuck else would walk into a room and zero in on the seven-year-old no one else knows exists or is assumed dead by literally the whole ass world (and even if they didn’t he’s supposed to be 29) and demand he come with them and shit like man

Klaus: hey five what do you have

Five, stabbing his own arm to take the tracking device out: a knife

Diego: NO

other fun points include: the siblings bodily picking five up and five behaving like a very aggressive small breed of dog while simultaneously being super touch-starved and secretly appreciating being carried but would never admit it (whilst sober that is)

either they kept the old uniforms and five wears that or they have to scrounge up whatever they can find which means that five is dressed in some of claire’s clothes allison found stuffed in the bottom of her suitcase until they can go shopping and i’m not sure which is better tbh

hazel and cha-cha assuming that five is actually either diego or klaus bc those were the two adults in the coffee shop with the umbrella tattoo and eventually being confronted with the fact that their legendary adversary is a gradeschooler

five just being. so tired. all the time. my bedtime at seven years old was probably like. 8:30PM. kids need a lot of sleep!! so just five trying to keep himself awake because he has important stuff to do!! but doing the nod and bob because he can’t keep his eyes open

the trying-to-be-helpful but mildly-condescending strangers who stop five or talk down to him increase by tenfold. Teenagers out an about on the street along? eh. a seven-year-old? five is going to get so many concerns “where are your parents, sweetheart?” that he IS going to snap and kill a well meaning middle aged woman in the middle of the street

in a similar note the number of people who assume that he is the child of whatever sibling he happens to be in proximity to also increases tenfold and five does Not Appreciate This (and neither do half the siblings tbh bc now they have to pretend that they are responsible for this tiny feral child)

“FUCK” five says, loudly, prompting gasps from the delicate natured passerbys. 

“you can’t fucking say that, dude, you’re like. a baby.” klaus says, equally loudly and making everyone in earshot 70% more scandalized

“I am not associated with them” diego informs the masses with an edge of desperation

luther is just. so massive next to this tiny version of five. he could hold him in like, one hand. and maybe luther at one point was really good with kids but with his new body he’s awkward and it’s very sad

no one bats an eye at child Five toting an Entire Half of a Mannequin that is probably as big as he is around. Billy’s kid is currently emotionally attached to a brick he found in the alley behind his school. Gertie’s granddaughter refuses to leave the house without an old sock filled with pebbles tucked under her arm. Gary’s stepkid found a piece of driftwood on the beach and now it’s in their bed every night. Kids are weird and at least Five’s has a face for him to talk to i guess??

instead of luther threatening dolores he just looks at five with this gun that is way too big for him to have a hold of really and just. reaches out and scoops five up under his armpits and he’s just furiously wiggling and growling and luther is like “nope not putting you down until we agree that murder is not a solution”

every interaction with the handler is probably about 112% more creepy honestly but also what about the job?? either five a) gets an appropriately child sized desk like the ones you find in an actual gradeschool or b) he gets some kind of boosterseat for his chair and just has to sit at this desk that is comically oversized for him

the squad go to a restaurant and the server brings over the menus and hands five a children’s menu. without a word klaus just plucks it from five’s hands and substitutes it for his own because they have been kicked out of six whole restaurants and he is willing to eat the children’s chicken nugget meal if he had to god damn it

the apocalypse doesn’t happen because vanya is literally incapable of hurting a grade schooler right in front of her regardless of how pissed off at her family in general she is. that is a whole child. vanya works with children for her job. she can’t hurt an entire child in front of her?? like she can destroy the world and all the abstract children but this one child right in front of her? who is also her long lost brother and former sole confidant as children who wasn’t there for any of the general bullshit she just went through?? not so much

but like. even after the stop the apocalypse there’s still the issue of what to do with this entire child. like at least as a teenager five would be able to be somewhat independent but seven-year-old five can’t reach the sink to wash his hands without a step stool 

just the squad coming together to look after five without quite letting five know that’s what they’re doing because they don’t want to wake up to a knife in their chest or anything smh

five and claire meet and become an unstoppable duo of terror. patrick is an actually competent parent who is so exhausted 24/7 from raising his daughter that he just accepts five immediately because?? his brother-in-law being a time travelling 58-year-old in the body of a grade schooler who is partially feral from over forty years alone and probably has untreated ptsd? okay might as well happen

patrick “i didn’t trust allison with a child and yet i still trust her way more than the rest of you so i’m going to schedule five a doctor’s appointment or something because god knows he’s probably not up to date on his vaccinations and he’s hanging around claire and i doubt any of y’all even thought about that” hargreeves

the hargreeves all go to an amusement park as a family bonding activity. the mistake becomes clear when it’s revealed that five is too short to go on half the rides. the resulting meltdown gets them all kicked out and Diego just has five tossed over his shoulder still hurling insults at the ride attendant as they hoof it out of there

the family has to figure out everywhere they can go within walking distance because there’s still a cold war going on between allison and five over whether he has to be in a booster seat for any car rides or not

it’s basically just shenanigans with the family and five trying to figure out how to coexist and compromise and also look after one another when it’s been every man for themself pretty much all their lives

[possibilistfanfiction]

Kat worried about her scars and being intimate with Adena after the bomb? 😭😭😭😭 I’m sorry I love angst lol

[alright yall rly are in it to win it w this universe but i will roll w that. also imma use this as many times as possible w them lmao but rn just so we can all be in hell together, anne carson is mean, a refresher:

pylades: i’ll take care of you.orestes: it’s rotten work.pylades: not to me. not if it’s you.]

//

maybe it’s because you haven’t really been kissed in over a week or maybe it’s because you’re literally always turned on by your girlfriend but you’re sorting out how to really make out with adena. you’re both laughing and your kisses are a mess, too desperate and intimate and a little funny, because your cast is bulky and adena almost sat on it and you’re just in love.

you finally get everything worked out, your legs coordinated and adena is above you and so fucking pretty, and her hands wander down your body, squeeze your breasts over your shirt, and she’s kissing your neck and everything is awesome until she’s reaching for the hem of your shirt and then your heart starts to race and something pounds behind your eyes and adena notices, of course she does, because she stops immediately.

‘are you okay, eshgham?’ 

you don’t know how to tell her that suddenly the idea of her seeing the scar that runs from just below your sternum along the ribs on your right side; you know, absolutely, that adena doesn’t care in the sense that you’re certain she thinks you are just as beautiful. you have other scars, just like anyone, one from getting your appendix out when you were six, one along the inside of your left arm from when you were twelve and slipped off the slide of your parents’ pool. 

but this is different, it’s big and kind of intense and from something horrible that happened to you, not some childhood memory that’s mostly dominated by all of the pancakes your dad made you after your surgery, or the stickers you and sarah wheaton had tried to make stick to your purple cast.

your new scar is still pink, barely healed, still a little achy. you have smaller ones from drains surgeons had put in, and you feel very suddenly embarrassed and a little terrified because your body has changed and you don’t understand all that it means yet; adena looks very concerned and so lovely, bathed in gentle city light from your big windows.

‘just a little sore still,’ you say, as convincingly as you can, lean up and kiss the crease between her brows. 

‘okay,’ adena says simply, lays down beside you and rubs a thumb over the faint scrape beneath your right eye. she’s quiet and you think you might start to cry so you close your eyes instead.

she doesn’t push you to say anything, only holds you tighter, and you fall asleep.

//

‘so,’ you say, your cast leg propped up on jane and sutton’s coffee table, your other tucked beneath you. you take a shaky breath and immediately they quiet from their bickering about something in big little lies—you don’t really understand the plot because you’d watched it almost exclusively for zoe kravitz, who can blame you—and they turn toward you.

‘what’s up?’ sutton asks.

‘well.’ you swallow. ‘i—uh, okay, i know this is kind of shitty but you guys know i got my stitches out two days ago and i feel, you know, tired and kind of sore still but pretty good, overall.’

your cheeks feel like they’re burning and sutton scoots toward you and holds your hand.

‘i know adena, and, like, everyone, i guess, saw the bandages and stitches and stuff because i was out of it and needed help changing and whatever.’ you shrug. ‘but i don’t know, were we making out yesterday and she went to take my shirt off and i kind of, you know, i kind of freaked out?’

‘oh, kat,’ jane says, serious and gentle. it makes you want to cry.

‘and i know adena would be the last person to think i’m less beautiful, or whatever—’ you roll your eyes at yourself and sutton grins—‘but i just felt, i don’t know, insecure?’

it’s a word you literally would never ever use to describe yourself; you’re confident and brave.

‘that makes sense,’ jane says.

‘what?’

she shakes her head and sutton puts her chin on your shoulder. ‘i mean, it makes sense that you would feel insecure, or nervous, not that you should, obviously, but it’s not a crazy thing to feel or anything.’

‘yeah,’ sutton says. ‘it makes sense, kat. it’s nothing to be embarrassed about.’

you sigh and you feel like you’re going to cry but you don’t, not now. ‘i’ve just always been proud of my body? i guess, like. i know i’m hot as hell, i’ve literally posted like twelve billion articles and links on body positivity.’

sutton laughs a little and jane smiles. 

‘you are hot as hell,’ sutton says. ‘and your articles are dope, but, you know, this is different, kat. you’re allowed to feel something other than incredibly confident about everything all the time, you know.’

‘that must get exhausting,’ jane says.

they coax a laugh out of you and it doesn’t really make you feel any less confused, any sturdier, but they listened and you definitely aren’t alone in any of this.

‘talk to adena,’ jane says.

‘we should start using that as a hashtag for you,’ sutton suggests.

‘shut up,’ you tell them, laughing. ‘listen, this surgery ruined my abs, okay? it sucks.’

‘oh, your abs,’ jane says. ‘you mean your one ab.’

sutton grins. ‘if that’s what you’re worried about, adena definitely isn’t going to care.’

‘you’re the worst,’ you tell them, but they squeeze you in a hug on the couch and jane kisses your cheek.

‘nah, we’re the best, and you know it.’

//

you smile when adena walks in the door, because your heart gives a little flutter and it’s wild because it’s been months of this but you still feel like it’s the first time she ever made you laugh and, like, people talked about love before but you didn’t really believe them.

‘hi, baby,’ she says, walks over to you and she makes sure to meet your eyes and you nod, and then she kisses you hello. 

it’s soft and gentle and a little careful and you know you’re still healing, and you know a lot of the sex you have is like this, but sometimes you really just want to be fucked, honestly. 

‘how was your shoot?’

adena tilts her head. ‘it was productive, i think. difficult. worthwhile, though.’

‘you gonna show me some pictures yet?’

she smiles and shakes her head. ‘how was your first day back?’ she asks, putting down her bag and the sitting at the table next to you.

‘oh, you know, exhausting, but fun. i missed sutton and the fashion closet.’

adena smiles and you really wish you didn’t have this stupid cast because you want to pull her over to you to sit on your lap or something. 

‘also,’ you say, gesture to the two bags of food on the counter, ‘i stopped by miss lily’s on your way home. i know you mentioned it the other day.’

adena’s smile is worth the extra thirty minutes in traffic you spent, definitely, and she leans forward and kisses you, this time deeply, but still careful, not pushing you at all.

you press into it, though, hungry and you’ve missed her.

‘i love you,’ she says.

‘i love you too.’

she stands up and you’re about to pout when she offers her hand you helps you up, steadies you by your hips when you feel a little off balance. you don’t bother with your crutches and instead you just hop over to your bed, making her laugh, and you lie down and she follows.

you get situated again and your heart starts to race again as she kisses down your neck and her fingers go to the waistband of your sleep shorts you take a deep breath and stop kissing her.

she sits back immediately but she doesn’t move off of you, just waits.

you sigh. ‘i don’t—i don’t like my scars.’ 

it takes a lot to say aloud and you feel a little stupid and a lot vain, and you kind of want to lecture yourself or something, but adena’s face softens and she rubs the sliver of skin between your sweatshirt and shorts.

‘okay,’ she says, calm and sincere, and you feel tears building behind your eyes but you have honestly cried so much lately you will it not to happen.

‘it’s stupid,’ you say quietly, swallow and look away.

‘kat,’ she says, stroking your cheek with her thumb until you meet her eyes. ‘it is not stupid.’

‘there’s just, i don’t know. i’m supposed to be this body positive confident person and i am, but this is—’

‘—different,’ adena says. 

‘yeah.’

‘well.’ adena tilts her head a little, which you know means she’s thinking something in farsi and trying her best to convey it in english for you. ‘scars are not, um, beautiful.’

you want to recoil and your chest is tight but she looks at you like there is nothing else in the whole world more important than you, than this moment.

‘they are important, though,’ she tells you. ‘they mean that you survived. and, kat, you did.’

a tear leaks out of your eye and you hate it and adena wipes it away and then kisses the traces of it.

‘and you are beautiful,’ she says. ‘you are so beautiful.’

you don’t know anything you can say so you tug her to you and kiss her hard; even though you’re starting to cry, she kisses you back.

she reaches under your sweatshirt and you trust her and you love her so you let her lift it over your head. she looks you over fully, eyes soft and adoring, really, and then she starts to kiss down your neck. she moves along your skin, pauses to check and when you nod, offer a small, ‘yeah,’ she kisses along your scar.

it’s still a little sensitive, but you watch how reverent she is and you close your eyes and just let yourself feel how she worships you.

adena continues, kisses the healthy, unmarked skin below your bellybutton and then crawls back up your body and kisses you.

‘beautiful,’ she says.

she reaches below your waistband and takes your earlobe into her mouth and you definitely somehow get out a please, yes before a moan and it’s only been two weeks but, god, you’ve missed her.

//

‘well, i came three times and then adena got herself off on my thigh in, like, a minute,’ you say, taking a sip of your wine.

‘wow,’ jane says.

sutton lifts her glass. ‘cheers, guys!’

you laugh and they turn on the westworld finale and surgeons removed a third of your liver so you get drunk kind of quickly and you’ve watched every episode with them but you genuinely have no idea of what’s happening other than tessa thompson is hot.

you start to feel sleepy even though it’s, like, not even ten, so you call a lyft and when you get home adena helps you out of your clothes and when she hands you a t-shirt to sleep in you shrug and put it back in your dresser.

adena grins and scrambles out of her clothes and you laugh, lay down on the bed. she climbs in and rests her head on your chest.

‘you’re home early,’ she says softly, kisses the skin below your collarbone without any intent, just comfortable, sweet.

‘yeah,’ you say. ‘tired. also, i don’t understand westworld at all.’

she laughs and you run your fingers along her back lazily.

‘sleep, kat.’

‘yeah, okay.’

‘i love you.’

‘i love you too.’

//

a few weeks later you’re lounging after brunch on sunday, lazily watching insecure for the fifth time, when adena sits next to you, computer open on her lap but angled away from you.

she seems nervous so you sit up and give her your full attention. 

‘you’re gonna show me your photographs?’

she takes a deep breath. ‘if you don’t want to keep looking, that’s okay.’

you furrow your brows and she hands you the computer and it takes you a moment to understand. they’re beautiful photographs, incredibly striking, of the remnants of your subway station. not the places where the bombs went off, nothing gruesome or graphic, but instead places in the station that stayed relatively intact: missing tiles, cracks, but still, somehow, complete.

you think you might cry—again—so you hand over the computer and adena closes it, sets it aside, looks at you with big, careful eyes.

you want to tell her that you understand, but you don’t know how, so you take her into your arms and hug her tight. you feel her start to cry into your shoulder and for the first time in forever you feel able to comfort her, tender and strong.

//

a few weeks later adena paces around your apartment nervously for like thirty minutes before you pat the seat next to you.

‘what’s up babe?’

she seems to consider her words carefully before she says, ‘my project is incomplete. i started it to help myself understand what had happened and how to help you, but then, i think, it turned into a love letter to you? in the best way i know how to make one.’

‘oh,’ you breathe, your heart happy and aching all at once. ‘why is it incomplete?’

you’d just gotten your cast off and she massages your hip for a second before she takes a deep breath. ‘i think it will be complete, ready for a gallery, if i can photograph your scars, put them side by side with the other pictures.’

a month ago you would’ve been upset, angry, even, but she’s so gentle and she’s also incredibly talented and super brilliant, and the way she has made you feel about your body—before, and after, everything that’s happened—is almost holy.

‘okay.’

she sits back, searches your expression. ‘really?’

‘yeah,’ you say. 

her smile is relieved—not because of her project, you know, but because she didn’t want to upset you.

‘you better win an award or something from my artful nudes, though.’

she laughs and kisses you and you kiss down her body and when you taste her, you have never been more glad to have your cast off in your life.

//

‘wow, adena,’ jane says, as she and sutton walk around the gallery, taking in the series of photos that really did turn into something remarkable. ‘these are incredible.’

the photos of the cracks in the station are next to pictures of you laughing, candid and happy, in simple underwear and no bra. you remember feeling awkward and kind of scared but then adena had started making faces and you had rolled your eyes and told her that you weren’t an infant, but you both had started laughing and the light from your windows is gentle in the early morning of autumn, a sunday, after adena had prayed and you had had coffee together in your kitchen. your braids are spread beneath your head and you’re looking at her through the camera, not self-conscious at all.

you can see your scars, they’re clear and not hidden at all in the photos, but the whole of you is just very much in love.

adena smiles and thanks jane, and then sutton who really just has, ‘fuck, i’m gonna cry,’ to say.

adena goes to mingle because this is her show and she has to, and your friends both put an arm around your back in a funny group hug. 

‘your boobs look amazing in all of these,’ sutton says, still sniffling.

you laugh and walk with them to get another glass of champagne, go look at some of the other art in the gallery together before you drift back to your girlfriend eventually. you talk to a few people who come to compliment adena but mostly you just stand with her and listen, watch her in her element.

she has to make a speech a little later, and she thanks everyone for coming. she doesn’t talk about the photographs, and you know she didn’t want to.

what she does say, though—she looks at you, smiles a little, and says, ‘and, kat, thank you.’

you raise your glass and people are looking at you, you know, but you only notice adena, and her love, and the way she sees you.

//

months later, she does win an award, a very prestigious one.

you eat her out for an hour after you find out; you’re both exhausted and eating leftover mexican food in bed and you’re so full you lie down. 

she pats your stomach and you say, ‘food baby,’ and she laughs.

‘i’m proud of you,’ you tell her.

she smiles. ‘me too.’

[its-love-u-asshole]

Universal Spite [fic]

Pairing: Tsukishima Kei/Kuroo Tetsurou

Summary: Kuroo never expected to meet Semi and Shirabu, but now that he has, there’s no way he can resist getting involved, nor can he keep himself from pestering Tsukishima about them constantly. 

Or: Kuroo wants to know everything as usual, and Tsukishima is powerless to stop him. 

Rating: T

Tags: siren au, soulmates, fluff, side semishira, kuroo has lots of questions once again

Note: Okay this is the last time I’m posting this week I swear lmao, I just had a big urge to write another one shot for this verse earlier this week, so here I am! I hope you enjoy! Thanks so much to @kirinokisu for being the best and for helping me plan this fic out! 

Read on AO3!

Check out the rest of this series here! 

For Kuroo, it had become increasingly difficult to listen to other types of music lately. He was quite proud of his playlists too, the various genres and bands organized perfectly and ready to be pulled up at anyone's desire. He was the go to provider of tunes, needless to say. Kuroo loved recommending music to people, and for a long time, he was the first one to know about any new singles or groups moving into the spotlight.

But nowadays...who needed that? When your boyfriend was a siren with one of the most beautiful voices out there, Kuroo didn't see the need for digging around mainstream pop for the rare gems. And he got new music often, since he'd finally gotten Tsukishima to agree to recording his gardening sessions so Kuroo could play the music back later.

No pain or headaches, just Tsukishima's ethereal voice drifting lovingly through his ears as he walked to class or studied.

Not to mention Tsukishima's embarrassment over the subject whenever he gave Kuroo the songs, truly the best kind of bonus.

Even now, Kuroo was sad as he pulled out one of his earbuds, stopping the song short. It felt like a crime almost, cutting off the enticing notes before they properly faded out. He knew the magic of Tsukishima's voice didn't exactly work on him, but he swore he could hear the steady beat of ocean waves fading out, the smell of salt and sand...

When he was sleepy and holding Tsukishima in bed, Kuroo would try to say it still felt like he'd get dazed from the music, like he'd been whisked away to some faraway sea, but Tsukishima told him it was impossible. Always the logical one.

Ha. A logical siren. What a thought.

Kuroo smiled as he wrapped his headphones up, bracing himself for a two-hour lecture. He just hoped there wasn't a pop quiz this time, he didn't have the energy. As he walked up the steps to his class with ten minutes still to spare, Kuroo glanced out across the mostly empty campus (fuck eight A.M. classes for real), the silence jarring to his sleep deprived brain. Maybe Tsukishima would surprise him with coffee today...

The thought didn't get very far, and the next thing Kuroo knew he was frozen mid-step, a heavy mist overcoming his mind. The edges of his vision went dark, focusing on one thing alone, which he couldn't comprehend. Something willed him to turn, and he did, each step weighted and uncontrolled as all rational thought left his mind. The last real thing he remembered thinking freely before he blacked out was that something sounded incredible, intoxicating, like a fresh glass of water. If that water was like...drugged with the world's strongest aphrodisiac. Then the world was black, and Kuroo didn't feel the need to mind one bit.

He woke up to Tsukishima's annoyed stare as he looked down at him, which by the way, rude as fuck.

Kuroo shook his head, squinting at his surroundings. He was still next to his class, but he'd wandered off to one of the little sitting areas around the corner.

His eyes found Tsukishima again, easily too, and his boyfriend's glare was equal parts adorable and concerning.

Kuroo pouted, the drowsiness seeping into his tone as he struggled to his feet. "W-what? Not happy to see me?"

At least he got that beautiful face to crack a smile, but the unamused huff which followed wasn't encouraging. What had happened?

He'd been walking to class and....Had there been a voice? Ugh.

Kuroo's head swam as he stood up, and he groaned, shaking the last of the haze away from his mind.

"Happier than you are to see me I bet," Tsukishima muttered, and it was then Kuroo noticed his boyfriend held a steaming hot coffee cup. Bless.

And as if.

Before he could claim his reward, he noticed a blur in the corner of his eye, and he found two other students standing there guiltily. Or...one looked guilty, the other just looked like he smelled two-day old dog shit.

Mixed with rotten eggs.

Wow, could Kuroo give him an award for most pissed off face or was that too intimate?

"What...are you talking about? Who?" Kuroo asked, his tongue feeling like sandpaper. Man, this fucking sucked whatever it was. And he was pretty sure he was late to class. Had he forgotten to eat breakfast? He took the coffee gratefully, his eyes begging his boyfriend for answers. "Did I do something?"

The way his blond's eyes softened made Kuroo melt. Things couldn't be that bad. Gladly, he took the first sip of his coffee (just the way he liked it as usual, his boyfriend was the best).

"Not really," Tsukishima replied, and his sigh might've been music to Kuroo's ears if it had stopped there. "Just flirted with someone right in front of me, no big deal."

Kuroo spat out the hot liquid and...oh...gross. Sorry grass.

"W-what? No I didn't! I--"

"Just kidding," Tsukishima said, smile smug. "Well, actually you did, but it wasn't your fault, it was--"

"His," one of the newcomers (the one with the scowl to rival all scowls) said, pointing to his companion with no hesitation. "But then again if you hadn't been out and about--"

"Don't blame him Shirabu," Tsukishima hissed immediately, before Kuroo could so much as utter a syllable, and if Kuroo swooned any more his ass would be back on the wet lawn (by the way, not fun). He'd just washed these pants.

"It wasn't his fault," Tsukishima continued, eyeing Mr. Guilty with less animosity. "I thought you'd learned to be more careful..."

"It was an accident," the other student muttered, his eyes softening in Kuroo's direction. Shirabu looked ten times more unimpressed, and Kuroo was thankful for Shirabu's baby face. Otherwise, such a stare would've probably melted him on the spot.

His friend approached him, bowing his head. "I'm really sorry about that! I had been singing to myself a little, just for...exercise. It was so early I figured no one else was around but then--yeah."

And thank god for Kuroo's brain, it all finally clicked together.

His eyes widened, the details rushing back. The haziness, the euphoria...then nothing. "Oh, you're a---"

"They both are," Tsukishima cut off, his annoyance fully aimed at Shirabu's stink-face. If Kuroo didn't know any better he'd say they were secretly shooting lasers. He was obviously missing something. "So now you know who to avoid."

"Hey, I resent that," the nicer siren said, and his tired smile made him trustworthy enough in Kuroo's book. "I'm Semi, by the way."

"Not that it should matter to you," Shirabu addressed Kuroo, rolling his eyes. "Keep your horrid pickup lines to yourself in the future."

Semi glared. "Shirabu."

Kuroo didn't even have time to unpack the exchange, all he could think about were his precious pickup lines, the ones he researched and reserved solely for--

"Aw man!" Kuroo slumped forward, and for the first time, Tsukishima broke his ‘who can set each other on fire first’ contest with Shirabu. "Did I use my pickup lines on him? I was going to tell you those later..."

He'd been saving them dammit.

Tsukishima's ghost of a smile made him feel a bit better but still.

"Yeah you did, and they were pretty bad," Semi interrupted, unaware of Kuroo's crisis.

Fuck.

Eyes still on his boyfriend, Kuroo pouted. "Did they make you laugh at least?"

Tsukishima's expression didn't change.

"...maybe."

Success.

"When Terushima told us you two were disgusting, I didn't want to believe it, but now I know for sure," Shirabu muttered.

Who now?

Tsukishima scoffed beside him, crossing his arms. At least some of the hostility died down, but Shirabu was still glancing at Kuroo like he was a dumpster so. "How would he know? I haven't talked to him in weeks..."

"Bokuto calls him often."

"Fucking..." Tsukishima turned towards the direction of his apartment, and Kuroo hoped Bokuto wasn't home while the blond remained on the warpath. He wouldn't tell Tsukishima but knowing his closest friend approved of them made Kuroo want to attempt walking on water.

(He'd ask about Terushima later, and based on these reactions, it would be a good story.)

"Just keep your boyfriend to yourself," Shirabu said, his lips lifting into a smug little grin. "If you can."

Semi apparently had enough. Thank god too, Kuroo was not going to try and hold Tsukishima back. Who would?

Semi grabbed Shirabu by the shoulder, his tone stern, no room for nonsense. Somehow, Kuroo figured Shirabu wouldn't care. "Go easy on him, it was my fault this happened."

"Yeah it was," Shirabu mumbled grumpily.

The way the two bickered finally gave off some form of familiarity, and really he'd be an idiot not to notice. Guess his awesome pickup lines had gone and made some people jealous...

Kuroo glanced at Tsukishima as the blond looked to the other sirens with a purely 'done' expression, and couldn't help but wonder if he'd made his boyfriend feel the same way. It made a fond satisfaction seep into him, not that he liked making his boyfriend jealous, but...Tsukishima was so cute when he was.

Ah, he'd better set this record straight (ha) before he caused the other sirens to break up.

Kuroo stepped forward, breaking up the fight. Tsukishima looked somewhat impressed, the other two did not. "Oh hey, look I'm sorry I flirted with your boyfriend. Trust me I did not mean to." After all, he had his own thanks, and Tsukishima was the only one in his mind stunning enough to be worthy of his artful flirtations. "I would never otherwise."

But you know, magic and all that junk.

For someone who'd only known of its existence for a month or so, Kuroo had become pretty damn used to it. Like yeah, this might as well be a thing.

He heard Tsukishima choke back a laugh, and that should've been Kuroo's first indication he'd unintentionally stepped on a land mine.

Such was his life.

"He's not my boyfriend," both Shirabu and Semi hissed, and damn then get restraining orders I guess.

"He sure isn't," Tsukishima sighed, half amused and half defeated.

Shirabu growled, hiking his backpack further on his shoulders. "Just watch it next time."

Yes, because Kuroo sure had a say in being mind-fucked by old almost-mermaid magic.

Or maybe Shirabu had been talking to Semi, with the way the other had already begun to storm off in much the same fourteen year old fashion. "Yeah, yeah."

What the fuck just happened?

Could Kuroo rewind all that? He really hoped so. There had to be some kind of magical being who could do that for him.

"Nice to see you both too," Tsukishima muttered as both sirens stomped away, and Kuroo wondered if they went off in different directions for the drama of it all. Like...did they actually have to go that way? Unlikely.

He looked to Tsukishima, praying for an explanation. It was too early for this. Kuroo deserved to skip class (he'd only missed like ten minutes but it was too late now).

A few seconds of silence passed before Tsukishima's phone alerted him to a text, and Kuroo watched as those honey eyes read the words, lighting up in amusement a split second later. The blond turned his phone for Kuroo to see, and...okay.

Semi: Sorry for storming away, we should catch up soon.

Tsukishima shook his head. "As polite as ever, I guarantee you he only half means it. What pieces of work..."

"How do you know them?"

He figured it was rude to just assume all sirens knew each other. Kuroo would not be ignorant.

Tsukishima shrugged, his posture finally relaxing. He dropped his arms back to his sides; open, inviting. Kuroo gladly pulled him forward, the body heat welcome in the cold morning air.

Much better.

"We have...mutual friends I guess you could say. I met them about a year ago when Semi transferred here," Tsukishima said as Kuroo nuzzled his neck, and he was either too tired to mind or he'd finally come around to Kuroo's shameless displays. Kuroo would be fine with either.

"Are they always like that?"

"Sadly yes," Tsukishima huffed, and he pulled away slightly, head resting against Kuroo's. "Soulmates are all different I suppose..."

Ah, yeah that was true.

"Wait." Kuroo pulled away, and goddammit anymore whiplash today and he was done for. "What?"

"Those two salt shakers are universally ordained to be together," Tsukishima said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world (it sort of was but Kuroo could be confused as fuck if he wanted). "Although if you ask me, it should be disputed."

Kuroo's head spun, and he glanced in the direction Semi had run off in, like somehow he could will him back to provide answers. "But...they said they weren't dating."

Tsukishima's sigh came out long, old, like the ancient myths themselves.

Why did Kuroo feel like he'd just witnessed a tragedy without realizing...

Tsukishima smiled, sweet and one thousand percent fake. "They aren't."

.

.

.

"Oh. Oh no."

And suddenly, all of Tsukishima's suffering looks made sense. "Oh yes."

--

"Tetsu, you have a test next week."

"But--"

"Stop obsessing over them," Tsukishima said, burying his face further into the first page of a book he'd been trying to get through for the past ten minutes. Kuroo might've felt bad about that, but the tired mutter which left Tsukishima's lips kept his curiosity burning too heavily. "They've wasted enough of everyone's time..."

"See! Right there! There's clearly a lot you're not telling me!" Kuroo pointed accusingly from where he sat on the rug, all of Bokuto's siren memorabilia laid out around him. Apparently, the other had a thing for collecting old newspaper articles where people 'claimed' to have encountered them. It really didn't have anything to do with Kuroo's current predicament, but he thought it made him look more qualified to investigate.

Tsukishima obviously didn't respect that.

"Because it's not important, and it'll just lead to more questions."

Ah, the blond had a point there. But hey this stuff was interesting, Kuroo had scoured the libraries and internet for anything on sirens that involved more than a half assed page in a mythology book. No real luck. These people needed to start hiring community historians.

Although, Kuroo knew he was practically dating one, no matter what Tsukishima said. The blond knew a lot, Kuroo just had to get him to talk.

And sure enough, his persistence would pay.

"Okay...just one question then. One a day, like we used to promise."

The callback to their former agreement no doubt would break down some walls. Kuroo would be sacrificing a lot too. Just one question? Unheard of. Kuroo was a researcher.

But Tsukishima huffed in the few seconds of silence which followed, and from the way he fully set his book down, Kuroo knew he'd won. No matter how much Tsukishima acted like he would not give in, he always did, and Kuroo tried not to smirk as Tsukishima spun his desk chair to face him.

No, smugness wouldn't get his questions answered, and he needed his questions answered.

Tsukishima crossed his arms, thoroughly done, but giving Kuroo permission nonetheless. Kuroo shook his head. If he got distracted by his gorgeous boyfriend, the bickering would've been for nothing.

Right. Kuroo spoke before Tsukishima had time to change his mind. "How did they know they were soulmates?"

Simple enough right? Kuroo had thought about how to phrase it, and if his hunch was correct...

Yup.

Tsukishima groaned, rubbing his temples gently. "I was afraid you'd ask something like that."

Kuroo loved himself sometimes. Kuroo knew Tsukishima, and Tsukishima was thorough. He wouldn't half-ass an answer if it required a lot of explaining. So, Kuroo got comfy, and settled in for the ride.

Tsukishima leaned back, glaring at the ceiling as he figured out where to start. Kuroo felt like a little kid, holding his breath.

"None of us knew for a few months actually," the blond began, like the memories were genuinely as annoying as ever. "I don't know much about where they came from, but Bokuto and I didn't grow up with them. They met Terushima first, then each other, then us. They've always been...difficult."

"You don't say," Kuroo said with a laugh. He thought he and Tsukishima could get heated, but they were a whole different level.

"Yeah well, they're fools for that too. They're so similar in how they handle things, I can't believe how horribly they get along," Tsukishima huffed. "Or how much they feel the need to act like they don't get along. If they dropped it they'd probably be about as disgusting as Bokuto and Akaashi."

Or us, Kuroo thought smugly.

"So...how did they find out? Does that have something to do with it?" Kuroo asked. That would make sense. Kuroo's first encounter with Tsukishima hadn't been ideal but it could've been a lot worse, and it magically ended up working out. Had Tsukishima attacked him with a shovel though...

Yeah, different scenarios.

"Yes and no," Tsukishima said. "They were pretty polite with each other in the beginning, and the attraction was easy to see even then."

Yeah well, with how jealous Shirabu had been, Kuroo wasn't surprised.

"But, then singing came into the picture, as it usually does when we're involved," Tsukishima continued, rolling his eyes. "Bokuto had suggested karaoke, and I'd been dragged into it. Something about community bonding..."

Yeah, sounds like Bokuto.

Karaoke didn't exactly sound like a dangerous place to figure the soulmate thing out though. What happened?

Then it dawned on Kuroo finally, and he was almost ashamed of how long it took to think of the question. If Semi and Shirabu were both sirens, how did that--

"I can tell by your face that you figured out the issue," Tsukishima said, amusement palpable. Kuroo's 'aha' face must've not been the most attractive.

"Uh yeah! Wait...when it's two of you, how do you guys tell?" Kuroo leaned forward, eager for more knowledge. He hadn't considered this to be a possibility. Of course, maybe the whole human/siren matchup only happened more often because sirens were so few and far between.

"Well back then, we didn't know," Tsukishima replied. It looked like it frustrated him, how much he still didn't know. "But when Semi and Shirabu sang, instead of the heavenly, stupidly beautiful voices, or even the hideous one that you hear from me, they just heard...well, average shit. Nothing special, like those people who go on voice shows but don't sound any better than anyone else.

"Bokuto and I thought they sounded fine, normal, but we weren't their soulmates. To each other, they sounded totally unexceptional."

Which probably wasn't the biggest compliment for a mature siren. Oh, now Kuroo could see where the problem might come in...

Kuroo found himself wincing before the words left Tsukishima's mouth.

"Aaand that's where the fighting started," Tsukishima sighed. "They both are horribly prideful and competitive, and with blunt mouths to go with it. They did not appreciate each other's opinions on how bland they sounded. And none of us knew it was a soulmate thing, so..."

"So they thought they were insulting each other, awesome." Kuroo threw up his hands. Everything was a drama show these days. At least Bokuto and Akaashi's meeting had been cute, aside from the spilled popcorn and public humiliation.

Forget it.

"But, they know they're soulmates now," Kuroo said. "So how and why are they still like this?"

Tsukishima tilted his head, like he'd asked himself the same question for months. "I'm not going to lie to you, it's purely because they suck. We may not have known they were soulmates, but Terushima did. Apparently his mom had seen something like this before, so he eventually told us. But by then, the idiots had been fighting so much neither of them wanted to admit they'd been wrong, so here we are. And here we've been."

Tsukishima covered his eyes, perhaps to keep the tears in, and Kuroo couldn't blame him. What the fuck? Who were these people?

"What's wrong with them?" Kuroo asked, mostly to himself, because seriously? If they were truly both that stubborn and blind, they definitely were meant to be.

As much as he wanted them to realize their feelings....er, if they resolved their issues and combined those powers of pettiness, they might just be unstoppable.

But as Tsukishima said...

"They're hopeless, and that's why I prefer not to think about them," Tsukishima said, picking his book back up as he moved to the floor. Kuroo gratefully made room for him between his legs. Yeah, he sure did need the comfort after that story...

He saw Tsukishima's point. Some people weren't ready to help themselves, and he was forever grateful that Tsukishima hadn't been as stubborn with him. Tsukishima had taken a chance, despite his pride and beliefs, and how he sat snuggly in Kuroo's arms.

Right where they both belonged.

The Semi and Shirabu situation still somewhat nagged at him, and it no doubt nagged at Tsukishima too, but Kuroo wanted to rest his brain for now. He'd sure he'd been seeing a lot of the other two sirens now anyways, so he had to mentally prepare for wanting to bash their heads in...

He pulled Tsukishima closer, huffing into his shoulder. At least he wasn't blind. "Not everyone can have what I have right away I guess..."

Tsukishima halted as he turned the page, resting his head against Kuroo's chest gratefully. "Oh, and what do you have?"

Ah, another success.

Kuroo didn't hesitate to tell him, the cheesy declarations of love spilling out until the back of Tsukishima's neck bloomed red.

--

The thought of meddling didn't cross Kuroo's mind until much later the next day, after he'd gone through piles of homework and could only fathom dragging himself up one floor to crash happily into Tsukishima's arms. Until he got recharged, other thoughts were suspended.

Tsukishima sighed against him, relaxed, his body sinking into the plush blankets on his bed. Kuroo loved them, loved how they felt like clouds. They were familiar to him now too, and maybe that was where part of the adoration came from. Nights spent at the blond's house had become common, and Kuroo purred as he nuzzled his head against Tsukishima's chest, hearing the steady, rhythmic heartbeat he adored.

It was almost too perfect honestly. Was this normal? Perhaps everything about sirens had to do with harmony and music in one way or another. From Tsukishima's voice to the way he drummed his hands and tapped his pencils against notebooks...

Kuroo laughed as he felt Tsukishima's leg bounce against his, following the beat of the song playing lightly through his nightstand speaker. Because yes, Tsukishima would have a nightstand speaker.

Kuroo shook his head, fiddling with the loose neckline of his boyfriend's sweater. "You know, I can put on headphones if you really want to sing that badly..."

But Tsukishima shook his head no, voice as melodic and comforting as ever. "No, please don't."

It made Kuroo think of the one night they got drunk. Tsukishima, giggly and tired, had shrugged at him, his confession delivered so flippantly that Kuroo didn't think he understood at all what it did to him. "I only sing because of you, when you're not around."

Kuroo loved him so much. And whether or not he super believed in the validity of soulmates, he would never regret taking a chance. He adored Tsukishima before he knew anything about the magical aspects, and it hardly made a difference in the end.

Still...

How could Semi and Shirabu not at least explore the chance that they were meant to be?

"Whatever you're thinking now is probably not good," Tsukishima sighed, but the affectionate scratch against Kuroo's scalp dulled the annoyed tone. Victory.

"So...what if we trapped Semi and Shirabu in a room and--"

"Tetsu."

"If we make them think the world is ending outside and they can't leave the room, maybe they'll finally come clean," Kuroo went on, and hey he had a point. Nothing brought people together like possible apocalyptic scenarios. They'd need to find a believable bunker...

The hand in his hair fell, and Kuroo tried not to pout.

"Tetsu, leave it alone..."

Unfortunately, holding back the pout was the extent of his adult ability. Kuroo whined, squirming in the blond's arms. "But I don't wannaaaaa."

Tsukishima pinched him, the ideal blend of pain without being excessive. Evil. "Well you can't. They need to figure it out themselves."

Kuroo sat up, looking at Tsukishima with the most doubtful expression he could manage. Truly, Tsukishima never gave anyone this much credit. People were idiots when it came to love. Them included.

Tsukishima avoided eye contact. Point proven.

"They're not going to figure out shit." So obviously, it was up to Kuroo.

"You're playing with fire," Tsukishima warned, and he tilted his head. Playing dirty I see...

Kuroo tried not to focus on how the movement exposed Tsukishima's collarbones. Nope.

"Also," Tsukishima went on, raising a single finger. No one could argue with that. "It's been tried. You're not even close to being the leader of the 'get Shirabu and Semi together' attack squad. Terushima has exhausted all his plans. He probably cries every night about it."

"Can I call him?"

"Not in a million years."

Kuroo fell against the bed, hopeless. He’d yet to ask about this infamous Terushima Yuuji, but…one problem at a time.

At least the pillows were soft as he sighed into them. "Keiiiiii."

The blond didn’t reply, letting the silence settle. Ironically enough, the notes of a tragic love song began to slowly float into the room. Unfair.

And alright, maybe this was none of Kuroo's business. He had no idea what Semi and Shirabu's real history was beyond what Tsukishima told him, how they felt about soulmates or each other. They probably did just need to be left alone.

Then again, where was the fun in that?

Though, Kuroo had to admit, if he was meant to get involved, the universe would gladly summon his involvement when the time was right. It always had in the past. He supposed he could be patient for a little bit.

Just a little.

He felt Tsukishima roll over onto his side, and Kuroo automatically turned his head to meet his eyes. It was like a calling, an urge he couldn't resist.

And they said he was immune. Yeah right.

Tsukishima smiled at him, his edges softening beautifully just for Kuroo, and yeah...he wasn't immune to anything, and he'd always be one hundred percent okay with it.

"Fine," the blond sighed, his hand moving up to rest against Kuroo's. His finger immediately began to tap along with the music. "I won't ask you to let it go, just...let it go for now, got it?"

Give me all your attention. It went unsaid, but Kuroo heard it loud and clear. How could he refuse?

And yeah, the year was far from over, he had a lot of time to play matchmaker (not to mention a lot of time to drag Tsukishima into his schemes). He wanted to be selfish a little while longer, wanted to hide away and obsess over his own soulmate before he fretted over anyone else's.

He guessed he could wait; this would definitely suffice.

Kuroo was far from disappointed.

Instead he held Tsukishima's hand, cherishing it and not worrying about the distance left to cross, the kisses he wanted to steal. They had all night to do more.

Right then, he was more than okay with being patient, in all areas of life.

Kuroo leaned forward, like his words were a secret, the mischief and adoration dancing in his eyes. "Got it babe. For now."

[dovechim]

After a hectic week I can finally sit down and dedicate the next hour or so to continue my story because I really want to get to the part which I'd like to hear your opinion - and everyone else's - about!! ☆ Long Story Anon

So we kept messaging for the following days, both busy with our respective classes; but before I knew it and I can't say I was surprised, he invited me to do something again less than a week later. We're from a considerably small city, there isn't much to do around here, so we had a hard time coming up with an idea. Well, he suggested to pick me up and we'd go back to his house to eat something, to which I agreed. I was with my friend and we were both jumping around from excitement ☆ 1

Needless to say my friends all loved him; they were happy that after such a long time and with such bad luck in love I finally found what seemed to be the last guy on earth who was worth more than two seconds of my life. I knew going to his house implied something more serious than making out could happen, but honestly I didn't mind if it did. In context, he lived with his little brother and parents; where we're from it's common at our age to still live at home since we've not graduated yet ☆2

But he'd mentioned during the first date that his parents were away for an anniversary holiday and his little brother was staying with the oldest one who lived in his own apartment with his fiance; meaning we had the house for ourselves. As planned he picked me up and took me there, had some food delivered and we watched terrible horror films on netflix. He'd cheesily try to put his arm around me on the couch and I'd move closer, ending up snuggled together with my heart about to burst ☆ 3

At one point both brothers and the fiance show up with some food, for some reason and that's when I knew half his family on the second date lol. But they moved upstairs quite quickly after eating and left us alone to watch the movies. Eventually he'd kiss my cheek, not-so-subtly letting me know he wanted to KISS-kiss me, but me being the nervous little shit I am didn't really know what to do. It'd been two whole years since I even attempted to make out with someone!! ☆ 4

So he had to move even closer and he said, which I'll never forget: "you're so shy", which I wasn't surprised about, it's not common for a 22 year old to be that reserved, I guess, but with a little bit of patience that single moment turned into the best first kiss I've ever had. I was so scared he'd be a terrible kisser, like I'd experienced before bc that's just a deal breaker for me and everything else about him was so perfect; but boy...was I wrong. We ended up making out for so long that ☆5

Our lips hurt, and he didn't even try to go too far, already noticing that I wasn't the kind of girl to tear off our clothes and start fucking (not that I didn't wish I were lol), so he just held me tight and took me home eventually. God, the memory of his kisses will never leave my mind. To this day I still get butterflies because it was the kind of kiss that makes you feel like your bodies fit together and makes your toes curl :') ☆ 6

im so soft for you and him already :”)))) it’s so sweet that he wasn't afraid of scaring you off and still went for it!! a lot of guys i know are hesitant about dating an inexperienced girl bc they’re scared they will scare her off, and once my friend asked me how he should chase after a girl who has never dated. i literally got so pissed lmao i just said “just fucking treat her like a fucking normal person!!! what are you intending to do that might scare her off???” 

We had a third date after that, about a week later. We went out to eat and it was the day he started posting instagram stories with me and tbh I was surprised. In our generation it takes more than just a couple of dates for a guy to 'announce' he's not 'single' anymore. You know, like if he had intention of seeing other girls at the same time he wouldn't be parading me around for everyone to see, which only fed my hopes of him being 'the one' even more ☆ 7

omg yes :/ the dating culture is so complicated lmao like ppl can be going out with different people at the same time and there’s a certain time after which you’re considered exclusive... it’s so tiring tbh

Another week passed and out of the blue he was asking me to meet his parents. He was very lowkey about it; he said he missed me, mentioning they'd returned from NY and asking if we could meet again that night, but "my parents would be there too, is that a problem?" lol. So I said no, obviously, even though I was shitting my pants, I'd never met a boy's parents in that context before but he seemed excited. He picked me up and we drove back to his place where they were waiting for me ☆ 8

I decided I didn't want to read too much into it back then, but still couldn't help but notice that the older borther+fiance had dropped plans to go to dinner with us so 'the whole family would be there to meet me'. Did that mean him bringing a girl home wasn't that common? Was I actually that special? As if I didn't notice myself falling fast and hard for me enough, his whole family welcomed me with huge open arms. His little brother, extroverted as they come at the age of 10 did everything ☆9

To include me in the conversations; the older brother would tell embarrassing stories. The parents, both doctors, both dating since college and pretty much the whole family (fiancee included) were some of the most welcoming people I'd ever met. They treated me like a family member from the very beginning and noticing how nervous I was they would try to make the dinner as easy going as they could. The guy in question, let's call him Jed? Would hold my hand under the table to calm me down ☆ 10

Or rub soothing circles over my the fabric of my jeans to distract me when a family member would embarrass him. I fell in love with his family as fast as I fell in love with him and I just couldn't believe I'd found someone so perfect. We'd make out until our lips were sore and he'd drop me off at home always leaving me with a feeling of sadness that I had to say goodbye. He made me so happy that I started to go out more, meeting my friends I was just in such a good mood because of him ☆ 11

no you must have been so nervous!!!!! i mean i get that he was low key but  still... parents are a big deal. i hope his intentions were rly pure and that he was that into you!! but im glad they were nice :”) 

I'd even dare to say he made me a better person in ways only I can understand. He'd text me what he was doing or who he was with every day, all the time, even if I didn't ask -which I never did. Sure, he wasn't perfect; sometimes he'd forget we had plans. I have a feeling he lied to me a couple of times but about nothing really major; sometimes he'd be in a bad mood and be sarcastic and annoying af but honestly nothing too bad. All in all I had absolutely nothing to complain about him☆ 12

It wasn't until around a month and a half into the 'relationship' that we went out for drinks and then back to his place that he tried to have sex with me (he'd waited to bring it up more than any other guy I'd ever met lol). I didn't directly tell him I was a virgin, he kinda guessed, and he was more than okay with it, even saying 'I'll wait as long as you want to'; and damn I didn't really want to wait that long, it was just that the time was never right! ☆ 13

At this point we'd both had dinner with his parents several times already. They told me in that household they'd set the habit of having dinner together every night, and were more than happy to let me into their little tradition. At more casual nights we'd sit down and watch some film on netflix, the parents and little brother always moving upstairs at the end and leaving us both alone to make out some more lol. I was even invited to his dad's birthday dinner at a fancy ass restaurant ☆ 14

this is so cute 😭 im just very ugh whenever a guy kinda hints at sex bc dude u gotta make me WANT it not just ask for it :/ but it sounds like he was super respectful!! and tbh im just very bad with other ppl’s parents, but his sounds rly perfect  😭 do such ppl even exist??? i cant even remember the last time i ate w my family :/ 

So by the third month I already felt part of that family tbh. I'd cooked alongside the mother like lifelong friends, and sat down for coffee after dinner to talk about how fast technology is moving with his dad. His little brother would tell jokes or ask me to teach him some guitar and I think they began to love me as much and as fast as I loved them, honestly. I was even invited to the dog's birthday part lmfao I was just unable to attend but was kindly provided with video memories ☆ 15

Everything was going so perfect, I think we could've lasted so much longer but maybe just the timing wasn't right. I still remember him dearly though, but back then I had my heart broken so bad that I simply wish I'd never met him. What hurt the most was growing so attached to his family and then out of the blue, and without a single chance to say goodbye I never saw any of them again. I should've known life isn't a movie or a book and nothing that starts so well can end just as happily ☆ 16

WHY ARE YOU USING PAST TENSE?????????? NO!!!!!!!!!!! IM SO SHAKEN RIGHT NOW bc this feels like that part in a book where the author’s just leading u towards that horribly devastating ending and that’s exactly what ur doing  😭

The last night I went to his house - btw we never visited MY house because MY family as much as I love them to death aren't as welcoming as his was with me, so until I knew FOR SURE this guy and I were serious, I decided to suggest activities that required not being at my place lol - the whole evening started weirdly. He'd been taking longer than usual to text me, and it was getting too late so I though we just weren't doing anything but he insisted he wanted to see me ☆ 17

And fuck, I wanted to see him to, once or twice a week just wasn't enough anymore and I missed his touch so badly. So I agreed for him to pick me up, even though he kind of strung me along for a few hours. By the time he picked me up I hadn't eaten, not knowing wth we were going to do but he said he'd had dinner before picking me up. Why would he though? He knew we had plans, which usually involved dinner, why not wait for me for eating? Either way, I'd missed him, I wasn't about to fight ☆ 18

We reached his place and his mom was already going upstairs for sleeping along with the little brother; the father was performing a surgery so we were alone at the living room together. He was a little tense and I didn't understand why, he said he was tired because he'd had class up until late and I asked if he just wanted me to leave but he asked me not to; he wanted to see me, he wanted me to stay. We cuddled on the couch and I had to wake him back up several times, growing annoyed ☆ 19

And when the dad got home he quickly got up and pretended to do something in the kitchen. The man had to eat and we had to wait for him to leave to sit back together, the whole situation was awkward af. I was wondering if I should just call a cab and leave, but he insisted not to. At around 2am (it was a friday) while making out he asked if I wanted to go up to his room, to which I said yes. He knew what that meant, so he was excited about it, going upstairs to check if his room was clear ☆ 20

Damn, I hit ask limit again :'( I'll have to leave it here right now but I swear I'll get to the point eventually lol I'm sorry!! also thank you for giving me your patience and space to tell this story, I feel like this way I can tell it without filters about what really happened or how I felt and actually receive honest unbiased opinions

omg i literally cannot believe u ended right there??????? i hate tumblr’s ask limit. im on the edge of my seat right now!!! thank you for taking the time to send me these, im so invested in ur story now its insane!! 

come back whenever you have time bb

[mysplaced-pen]

Sometimes Tea, Sometimes Coffee

Hi I hope you like this because I haven’t written for a really long time and ~creative blocks~ are g r e a t to have

Also I’m writing on my phone so forgive the shitty formatting lmfao

‘Hm.’ Jaehee thought absentmindedly. ‘I wonder if it’s possible for the human species to fall into extinction.’

Maybe if every human was as cognitively impaired (read: stupid) as this guy, it’d be possible.

Her eyes did not leave the man at the counter, who was fiddling with the spoons and – did that idiot just accidentally tear open another satchet of sugar?

Jaehee remained hidden behind the staff door, pinching the bridge of her nose in tired exasperation. “Jesus Christ,” she muttered, voice not too loud. “He didn’t die for our sins like this.”

Her coffee eyes widened, seeing Ams talking animatedly with the man in question. ‘No,’ she wanted to call out. ‘It’s not worth it, Ams.’

Jaehee shut her eyes tightly, trying to breathe patience into her body but breathing put irritance. Whatever. Whatever! She’d deal with that dumbass. But not now. Professionalism, professionalism…

Screw professionalism, she was the damn owner.

She took elegant strides, yet her shoulders were tensed. She remembered this, a familliar spite stoking her embers. She let it inject the very way her arms swayed, the controlled musculature of her facial movements, her steady breath, the deadly bitter smile that now graced her appearance.

Working under Jumin had it’s benefits. She learned patience, got intimate with it, and weaponized it occasionally.

And that’s why she stood in front of the counter, sweeping Ams behind her and asked, “May I take your order?”

The man smiled, and Jaehee was thankful she wore glasses. By the way he beamed, he was either very very excited to meet her, or he wanted to rival the sun.

“Jaehee! You’re here!”

Unfortunately, it was the former.

An arched brow. “You didn’t expect me to be present at my own shop?” She inspected the nametag buttoned above his breastpocket, which he also tucked in a polka-dotted tie sloppily. “Maybe that was expected for you, since it’s working hours and you’re not badgering your boss instead of me.”

He had the gall to be embarrassed. “I-it’s break time!” Then he lowered his eyes to the counter, unwilling to meet her offended, flat stare. “So I was hoping that we could grab lunch together? Isn’t it boring here—”

“No.”

“But it would still be a breath of fresh air—”

“Given how much you talk out of turn, I would be inhaling more carbon dioxide than anything.”

“Maybe we could grab coffee sometimes—”

“Where do you think we are?”

“Oh. Uhm. Is that a yes?”

“It’s a no.”

His shoulders sagged and he whined like a child. “Why not?”

“The same reason why I wonder you’re not giving up yet.”

“Oh!” He beamed once again. “Because I like you!”

“Because it’s a waste of time.” Hers, more appropriately.

“Come ooon!” His eyes flitted to the left, then right as if whispering something scandalous. “It’s not like you’re dating someone, right?”

Before she could respond, Ams interjected. “Excuse you,” her eyes narrowed, hostile. “Jaehee is a talented businesswoman who is caring, empathetic and she could have whoever guy – or girl – she likes. If she doesn’t like you, then that means it’s proof that you’re not valid enou—”

A cough sounded from behind the – now utterly rekt – man, and there was red hair and a familliar silver-white that peeked behind the man. “Can we have our order taken, please?” Saeyoung plastered his usual shit-eating grin, and Zen glared at the man who was stalling the line, malice imbued into his eyes.

:-:–:—:–:-:

707: Lmao what the diddly darn just happened today

Jaehee Kang: sigh

Jaehee Kang: I don’t know;; the usual persistent customer I guess.

Jumin Han: The “customer is always right” kind of person?

Zen: Wow that’s annoying

Ams: Nooooope

Ams: He’s been trying to get with Jaehee since last week

Jumin Han: He didn’t make an appointment?

707: it’s a coffee shop juju

707: you walk in

707: use pieces of paper that is actually worthless but are given value by the intersubjective entity called the government and purchase certain extracts from the earth that you grind to produce an adrenaline-inducing beverage that will eventually get you into a coma

707: and walk back out

Ams: what the fuck

Jaehee Kang: Saeyoung;;; I’m worried about you;;

707: you are? aaawww (u/w\u)

Ams: He’s trying to woo her Your Majesty Jumin Han

Jumin Han: Ah I see, thank you for explaining so politely

Ams: Saeyoung’s lack of mental stability aside, why is money worthless?

Jumin Han: I would also like to know.

Zen: Like you’d understand after having millions of it. Both of you two have dollar bills shoved too far up your asses and you end up vomiting shit

Jumin Han: On the contrary

Jumin Han: Even after vomiting shit as you say

Jumin Han: Everything that comes out of my mouth still is worth more than shit

Jumin Han: >:3c

707: gEt ReKt bOi

Jaehee Kang: Shut up Saeyoung

Jaehee Kang: You’re vomiting shit too.

707: Yes ma'am.

Ams: ….anyways

Ams: He’s a really persistent guy

Ams: He comes in every day without failure

Ams: (if you don’t take into account the fact that his “courtship period” is already a failure)

Zen: lmaoooo

Ams: And he tries to persuade jaejae to get lunch with her or something

Zen: I can’t say that’s too unreasonable

Zen: Because Jaehee is a beauty after all ^^

Jaehee Kang: Thank tpu

Jaehee Kang: Thank ypu

Jaehee Kang: Thank you

Ams: sigh

Ams: if only Jaehee had Yoosung’s face

707: don’t corrupt my mental image of my bro pls

Zen: -_-

Zen: yeah that’d be easier

Zen: Yoosung’s baby face would lessen the competition

Ams: Zen;;; //////

Jaehee Kang: ?

Zen: lololol sorry

Ams: OH DID YOU KNOW WHAT HE DARED TO SAY

Ams: He said something like “oh youre not dating anyone anyways” like hoW DARE HE

Ams: JAEHEE IS A GODDESS AND I WILL SCREAM IT OUT FROM THE TALLEST BUILDINGS

Jaehee Kang: ///// Ams;;;;;

707: gasp

707: bLaSpHeMy

Jumin Han: Saeyoung, stop talking like that

Zen: lololol

Jaehee Kang: I have to admit, I was offended as well.

Jaehee Kang: There was one instance where I wanted to show him a degree of humilliation worse than human beings

Jaehee Kang: But I resisted ^^

707: lolol why not get even? Be petty as much as you’d like

Jaehee Kang: Hmm….

Jaehee Kang: I’d like to.

Ams: I’m on board with this plan

Ams: What do you have in mind?

Zen: As a guy, I’d bet a really embarassing mistake would make him stop or give up at least

707: I can pretend to be Mary Vanderwood and be your girlfriend, jaejae~

Jaehee Kang: No thank you.

Jaehee Kang: But that does give me an idea.

Jaehee Kang: Ams

Ams: ?

Jaehee Kang: From tomorrow onwards, would you mind pretending to be my fake girlfriend?

Ams: w h a t

Jumin Han: Does everyone type like that nowadays? I’ll have to look that up.

Ams: of course I don’t!!!

Zen: of course she wouldn’t

Zen: ;)

Ams: ZEN;;;;

Ams: I’d like to help you in getting rid of a pest as well, for the cafe too ^^

707: she means getting rid of a rival

Jaehee Kang: ?

Ams: ignore him

Ams: We’ll start tomorrow, you don’t need to give me a story or anything, I’ll make it up on the spot ^^

Jaehee Kang: Okay ^^

Jumin Han: You seem very enthusiastic about this.

Jaehee Kang: Well she’s my best friend

Zen: Turned pseudo-girlfriend

Jaehee Kang: Yeah that as well

Jaehee Kang: Her kindness isn’t something that surprises me, yet I find myself awestruck everytime ^^

Ams: nrjdmrekdde

Jaehee Kang: ? Are you alright?

Ams: yeah im dandy

Ams: ihavetosleepnowgoodnight

—Ams has left the chatroom—

Jaehee Kang: Well that’s my cue as well

Jaehee Kang: Goodnight everyone ^^

—Jaehee Kang has left the chatroom—

Jaehee slept soundly that night.

:-:–:—:–:-:

The dense man’s eyes bugged out. “You-you’re lesbian?”

“I’d prefer to swing any other way than yours, so yes. I’ll leave it at that.” Jaehee’s voice was mint, her words succint and well-phrased, her giddiness only showing in the drumming of her fingers against the marble counter.

The man looked dejected, then he shook his head, as if rejecting what he was told. “I thought you were straight?”

“If that’s where your thought process led you to, I doubt it barely existed in the first place. ”

The man looked like he wanted to cry, and for good reason. Jaehee had kind of, not-so-subtly unleashed weeks up pent-up stress in the art form of trash-talking, which she’d mastered throughout her career as Jumin Han’s underling. She’d learn from the best of the best.

“Now if you’d excuse me, I’d like to return to work–” her words were cut off when she felt a steel grip on her wrist that made her wince. “You-you’re just confused! You don’t know what you’re doing!” He stumbled over his own words, bricks that would crash down on him soon.

“Oh, I know what she’s doing. Me, to be specific.” At the snide voice, Jaehee’s eyes turned to it, hope ghosting up her skin.

Ams’ eyes glared daggers at the hand gripping Jaehee’s, as if the very sight was offensive to her eyes. Walking over she unpried his hand, that remained paralysed, like a thief caught in the act.

Ams fingers skirted over Jaehee’s wrist, thankful that his hand left no visible marks. Then she turned to the man, voice blank and careful, but never impolite.

“ ‘Don’t know what she’s doing’? This woman has stood on her own feet ever since she had to. She didn’t waste her time on chasing away pipe-dreams, but chose to realize them on her own efforts.”

There was a flutter in her chest, unidentified but not unwelcome. The beating of her heart followed an odd rhythm, and it danced to a different tune she had never heard of before.

“She’s independent, wonderful, intelligent, caring, loving, and probably every other adjective synonymous to her being an angel. She’s thoughtful, so her every word can be measured up against you, and you’ll find yourself regretting even speaking. If you still insist on your ignorance, I’ll pardon us on her behalf.”

Not once did her voice lilted into smugness, only frustration. Ams slipped her hand into Jaehee’s, and left the man bewildered, eyes of other patrons boring into him.

:-:–:—:–:-:

“You had the chance to spew out every insult imaginable. Why didn’t you?”

Ams looked contemplative, fingers tapping a staccato. “I didn’t want to disappoint you.”

Jaehee raised a puzzled brow. “Why would I be disappointed?”

Ams only smiled meekly, then stood up to go out to the counter, probably making drinks. Coffee eyes drooped, enjoying the calm clatter of spoons and glasses.

After a few minutes, she returned, two glasses of – what didn’t smell like coffee – drinks in her hands, and she set both glasses on a small foldable table they’d use for snacks.

Ams sipped the brew tentatively, then spoke: “I felt like…I’d have to cross a line I didn’t want to if I did what I really wanted to do at that moment.”

Jaehee tilted her head. “What do you mean?”

“If I said everything I wanted to say, I wouldn’t have done it to protect your name. I’d have done it because I wanted to.” Ams let her glass clink against the table, and then folded her hands into herself, reserved.

“There was no reason for me to act the way I wanted to act, even if it was reasonable. You out of all people should know that, shouldn’t you?”

Jaehee blinked. That’s right. She had every right to scream, to cry, to blame others. But…she didn’t do any of that. Instead, she soldiered on forward, mouth shut without saying anything. How many unshed tears, she wondered, that would take her to this moment in time?

The tears that fell soon after passed her realisation, had Ams not pressed tissues to her cheeks, standing up and hugging her from the back. “It’s okay,” her voice was small, but she could feel the vibrations on her back, like guitar strings being strummed. Her ears were filled with static-like silence. “You can be selfish this time.”

Jaehee’s hands twirled along the rim of her glass, the unknown but familliar smell hitting her senses. “Ah,” Ams suddenly said, eyes twinkling. “It’s tea. I thought the brief change would be refreshing for once. What do you think?”

Hesitantly, she lifted the glass of tea to her mouth, and her lips curled in surprised delight.

Her eyes shut, and there was another unidentified emotion, accompanied by a breeze of bliss.

:-:–:—:–:-:

Jaehee Kang: Zen

Zen: ?

Jaehee Kang: This is a sudden question, but have you ever considered that acting wasn’t your passion?

Zen: Hmm…

Zen: Yeah. To be honest, I really wanted to chase my childhood dreams before doing the acting full-time, you know?

Zen: Like…being a food artist! Or an adventurer! Or a scientist!

Jaehee Kang: Oh

Jaehee Kang: Have you ever thought that you’d find something better than acting?

Jaehee Kang: For example

Jaehee Kang: I love coffee, but recently I’ve grown to like tea more

Zen: Isn’t that fine? You won’t know something is better if you haven’t tried ^^

Jaehee Kang: But what if it’s worse?

Zen: I think the idea of being happy with something is to delight yourself in it when you can and be complain when you have to

Zen: If you worry over what-ifs, chances will fly over quickly~

Zen: If it makes you happy without a doubt, then you’ll know it was a good choice ^^

Jaehee Kang: I….

Jaehee Kang: Thank you for parting your wisdom with me.

Zen: lmao not really, but I’m happy to help my friends ^^

Jaehee Kang: Well then, I’ll be going to sleep now

Jaehee Kang: Good night, and thank you again ^^

:-:–:—:–:-:

“Today was a good day as well, and the guy from before didn’t even show up!” Ams turned to look at Jaehee, before grinning. “Isn’t that great?”

“Yeah, it is…” Jaehee avoided her eyes, feeling her face warm up. Ever since yesterday, she’s been feeling odd around Ams, and even looking at her warms her face and carves an unwilling smile.

No. She already knew what she was feeling. It poured into her pores gradually, and when she had noticed, it grew to become what it was right now. Love.

“Jaejae? Is there something wrong? Your face looks hot.” Ams tilted her head, eyes glossed by concern.

“Nothing wrong, nothing at all,” she tried to dismiss, which of course was dismissed by Ams. “Don’t lie, do you have something to say? You know you can say anything, right?”

I love you. I love you. I love you so much and I didn’t even realise it.

Jaehee wanted to belt out the words as fluently as Zen would, as honest as Jumin would, as careless as Yoosung would, as gentle as Saeyoung would. But she was Jaehee, she was herself, and she was bad at expressing how she felt due to certain parts of her life.

“Um,” she tried to say, mumbling and thinking, her words like books that had been stacked and crashed down.

She looked for the right words.

“Can we talk about over tea?”

She wouldn’t know it was the right one, at least not after “I do” at the wedding hall.

:-:–:—:–:-:

Hewwo I love Jaehee with all my heart and I hope my characterization of her was good enough lmfao I /a p o l o g i s e/

Anyways I also love ams aka she’s amazing aka jamen is my ot3 even though I couldn’t slip in Zen in there ripperoni pepperoni

I hope you liked it ahah;;; I TRIED MY BEST AND WAS VERY PROUD OF THE DIALOGUE AT LEAST

—Yuu

yuu this is t h e cu test t hin g and i love you :’)))))

[lilacflamesss]

TG:re[quest] Union: Reaction

Hey guys, so I suggested it and some of you were pretty supportive of this so yes, here’s my reaction to the Ayahina novel story! @poclee had kindly translated it here so if you guys want to, check that out first! Special thanks to them for translating it! 

Okie leggo. This story is Ayahina/Aogiri heaven. It’s really the only Aogiri story we’ve ever had and I am so pleased with it because we get to see more of Miza, Naki and even a little of Seidou as well. 

I get a little shippy under the cut with my longer reaction but I want to say something really interesting I noticed. The imagery of the aogiri tree is really strong in here and Hinami compares the organization to a literal tree. As a member, she’s in its shade and here, sunlight never reaches. This lightless image continues when she talks about how she’s used to the night now and how the base, even in the day, is really dark. When she’s with Eto, she calls is the deepest part of the tree and normally, the deepest, is usually the darkest.  But there are times when she talks about light and all these have to do with Ayato. The first time in a while since she goes out in the day is to find coffee beans to make them for Ayato. After some time with Ayato, she’s convinced of a light that’s beginning to shine. And it’s an interesting contrast– the woman who brought her in as darkness and the boy who’s asking her to leave as light. Hinami can only return to the light if she leaves the organization. 

Only after she leaves Aogiri and Cochlea she’s ends up underground, but whatever.

I talk more underneath– weee! Let’s go.

WINGS. Hinami hiding under people’s wings– it has to start with a clear Kirishima reference 

Ayato’s so harsh when he says she’s in the way and all but at the same time, he tells her to take care of herself. Clearly his tsundere meters had toned down from the ‘i’d beat the fuck out of you so no one else can’ level in the original TG.

Hinami wants to cover her ears but she doesn’t because that’s the only way she can tell if Ayato is okay. Hinami cares about him so much as well my heart is breaking oh my god. And she’s super bitter that he’s doing her share as well ahhhh. GODDAMMIT I LOVE THEM. 

Ayato’s first words to her when he’s back was to try and cheer her up and it’s so unlike him. Hinami’s excited to seem him back and god she’s worried if he’s hurt ;-; (especially since he fought for her sake as well)

I love this part where Hinami’s comparing him to Touka but she doesn’t say anything yet but Ayato knows she is and he stops her from saying anything else. I wonder how many times she’s told him he’s like Touka, probably enough till he’s completely sick of it. 

Ayato being burdened with work after work in Aogiri is something I always loved because like, he’s such an important member to the organization, no wonder Tatara was so harsh on him when he was disobedient. But, imagine the possible consequences of his disobedience getting out. Sometimes, I wonder what would happen if we saw more of Aogiri during and pre Rue arc. There has to be some reaction among the members below when Ayato, the strongest and most experienced Executive left the organization. I mean, there’s bound to be some chaotic consequence. Aogiri Tree in general was a really untapped potential and one of the things I’m the most upset about when it comes to Ishida’s writing actually. 

Hinami is sweet and lovable but she hasn’t changed at all?? She’s still worrying about burdening others, but like if Auction told me anything it’s untrue. 

God is she a shojou manga heroine??? 

Yes, give him something he likes, good girl. I think you’re the first person in this entire manga who’s ever thought of making Ayato happy, aside from Touka that is. Good good. Clearly no one bothers enough about what he thinks and feels since they had a wedding for his sister in his absence.

It must be so painful for Hina to be with Ayato? She misses both Touka and Anteiku whenever she’s with him. God, Hina you shouldn’t have left, my girl.

Lmao Aogiri sucks. A ghoul organization that doesn’t have basic coffee brewing equipment. This made me think about that time in Root A when Kaneki was making coffee. Where did those things come from? Did he sneak some out of Anteiku. 

She actually had work to do as well, why does she think she’s useless. Hinami I love you. 

Hinami’s so used to Aogiri now? In the past she used to go out more in the day. I think it’s interesting how her being used to the night ties in well to the earlier imagery of the Aogiri Tree– and how her being under their shade had stolen the sunlight from her life. 

Seidou, sigh. Don’t traumatize Hinami. To be honest, I seriously still dislike Seidou as Owl. But I love Hinami’s reaction to him. She’s so un-Aogiri, yet even when she says she doesn’t belong and all, you can see that no one else (by that I mean the Executives) think so as well. 

Also lmao, Seidou’s head-ball dropped onto the ground and all Hinami thought was how the sound it made was similar to the sound of the heads dropping when Ayato chopped them off. Always thinking about Ayato I see. :’)

Miza is so sassy. I love her.

MIZA IS ENVIOUS OF AYAHINA’S RELATIONSHIP. I’m not sure if Miza has fallen for Naki yet. Technically the manga made it seem like it was after Auction that she realized her feelings for him but I think it’s blossoming even now. But either way, Miza is someone who wants children, so going by that line, I’m sure she longs for a romantic relationship as well. Which means, for her to be envious of Hinami’s relationship with Ayato… huehuehue (Does Miza picture Ayahina’s kids I wonder)

Miza’s relationship with Hinami is precious. I love them. She’s so protective. 

Hinami being unable to fight and kill due to her personality and not just ability and Hinami thinks about how this troubles Ayato. The contrasts between the two of them are so interesting. They’re so different in many aspects of themselves, but in the end, both Hinami and Ayato still struggle with and crave for the same thing. ;-;

Apparently Miza isn’t so good with sunlight. Fun tidbit. I’m glad we get to know more about the other members of Aogiri as well in this story. For an Aogiri fangirl like me, this story is amazing even without the Ayahina. 

HA. Okay, Hinami and Miza have a cute little girl to girl moment here that I absolutely love. They both find each other cute and are envious of each other… They’re adorable. New brotp guys. 

Hinami is so surprised that Miza is over 30 but Miza prefers this to being called Old Hag by the White Suits, aw. Hinami still apologized what a sweetheart. 

I feel some kind of parallel with Miza and Ayato over here? Hinami says that she feels like Miza is always taking care of Naki and Miza response is to complain about how he always rushes into things and how she doesn’t want to be dragged down by him. I feel some similarities to Ayato when he’s with Hinami. 

Miza doesn’t like sacrificing people, aw. I love this new batch of Aogiri leaders. Ayato-Miza-Naki combi is the complete opposite of tg!Ayato-Bin-Yamori combi. There’s so much care and love from the :re batch. 

Hinami thinking about Kaneki. Ahhhh. 

Miza is jealous of Hinami’s aura that makes people want to protect her, but Hinami hates this part of her– Miza and Hinami seem to really want what the other has. Sigh. These two. 

Miza talks about how valuable Hinami is to the organization like, come on Hinami, you’re amazing please. And also, since Aogiri doesn’t have enough girls, it seems like Miza really likes having Hinami around. 

The picture of Hinami and Miza is too adorable. Hinami, your hair. =w= She’s so cute???

Hinami’s so thorough– she asks the clerks and all and spends quite a bit of time in the stores. SO MUCH DEDICATION, GIRL. 

Some blade guy called Mikami appears. (Lmao, Mikami? Death Note ruined this name for me lol.)

Some Blade stuff. Hinami notes how the Blades were more like family and how despite the respect Mikami has to Miza, there seems to be no hierarchy. It’s something we see briefly in the manga as well during the Rue Island arc but it’s nice to see more of it, especially considering how Miza seemed to have lost all of her Blades. I kinda feel sad for her now. 

Hinami starts feeling comforted by Mikami and Miza and she wonders if she’s worrying and pushing herself too much and it’s amazing oh my god how she’s starting to feel better about herself. SHE STARTS BEING MORE POSITIVE ABOUT HERSELF asadlkkhskafa i love hinami 

She wants Miza to try some as thanks WHAT A HINAMI THING 

Okay but Miza the Ayahina shipper surfaces now when she tells Hinami to save the first cup of coffee for Ayato but then later says that Hinami can use her as practice instead. 

This scene is so heartbreaking because Hinami thinks about everyone in Anteiku and the instructions came from different members. She must really miss them so much and it’s really a pity how she’s no longer with them. SHE EVEN THINKS OF NISHIKI OKAY. 

Naki being Naki as usual but listen, he’s dense af and Miza is just too in love I CANT

Hinami wanting to make coffee for everyone but Miza’s like “bruh, didnt you buy this for ayato”. After this story, you guys can’t convince me otherwise. Miza is the number 1 Ayahina shipper in canon. NOT TO MENTION, she told Hinami to enjoy the last two cups of coffee with Ayato coughcoffeedatecough

Ayahina’s scene LEGGO

Ayato came home late and he seems really tired and stressed– my headcanonsssssss ;w; Still, I’m honestly surprised that it’s actually true that Ayato’s a lot busier than the rest are. Even Miza seemed shocked earlier on when Mikami said Ayato isn’t back yet. Tatara, stop working him to the bone gdi. 

Hinami’s so sweet? Even after all the trouble and training, she wonders if maybe letting Ayato rest would be a better idea. I can’t believe people used to say that Hinami probably doesn’t care about Ayato like she is so concerned and worried that she contemplates letting him rest instead. 

AYATO HAS GROWN– god Hinami thinking about this made me chuckle. And I love how she completely sees through that tsundere :’) 

AYATO IS YOMO 2.0 CONFIRMED. When Hinami mentioned how he doesn’t talk much that’s all I could really think about. Ahhhh… 

Ayato’s so dreamy when she’s making coffee for him. It’s like he’s silent and even Hinami commented that his mind seemed to be wandering. I BET HE’S THINKING ABOUT TOUKA because it’s in this same novel where Touka thinks about how she used to make coffee for Ayato as practice. 

Tsundere bunny is so tsun that he can’t even comment or thank her but Hinami knows him so well that she can tell he liked it and that he probably was happier and seriously, this is my favorite part, when she actually thinks that there will be light waiting ahead. Being with Naki and Miza comforted her and made her surer of herself but only when she was with Ayato did she receive some hope and courage. 

The imagery of Aogiri being a dark tree with shadows appears quite a bit here and how because of Aogiri Hinami doesn’t have much light in her life. She got used to the night, the base was dark despite it being noon, etc. But I think it’s interesting how there’s also light in here and all of it has something to do with Ayato– she went out in the day to get coffee beans and utensils for Ayato, it was after he drank her coffee that she was convinced that there will be light waiting for her. 

There wasn’t a break here but I just had to split because I hate this scene so much ;-; 

Hinami you should have just listened to Miza and drank together with Ayato. Your coffee date would have been so much more worth it than giving it to Eto. 

What’s interesting is that when she was going to Eto, it was referred to as her walking into the deepest of the tree. If there’s light waiting ahead, she’s walking away. (I wonder if this is me thinking too much into it, but if Aogiri is what covers Hinami with darkness and shadow, Eto, the person who brought her in is the deepest part of the tree, also the darkest probably. On the other hand, Ayato who’s always asking her to leave the organization is the one who was compared with light here. If there’s light at one end and darkness at the other, one is the kind of life she had without the organization, with Anteiku, the 6th Ward Gang, her parents, etc, while the other is Aogiri.) 

Another thing I like is how, to Eto, Hinami is seemingly dehumanized? She’s just another member in the organization. She’s nothing special. She’s replaceable, etc, just like how Tatara treats her in the manga. Even though Eto knows Hinami is there, she doesn’t bother until Hinami calls out. When she offers Eto the coffee, Hinami describes breathing to be difficult as well. And this is such a contrast to when she was with Miza and the rest, because being with them actually made her comfortable. Miza in fact told her she’s important. 

Reading this after Rue arc makes me a little bitter because seeing how Aogiri is, there was so much more potential in there. The organization was so badly split between the higher-ups and those below. I feel like it would have been really interesting to actually see them falling apart before the raid. Just some untapped potential, which seems to go along well with the rest of Aogiri currently in the manga (ie. Tatara and Eto’s ‘deaths’). Sigh. 

Another thing I find interesting is how Ayato is not enough to save Hinami in a way? Like, the light he provided for her was immediately overshadowed by Eto. Because in the end, Hinami’s own desire is still much stronger– she wants to get stronger so she remains in the organization, she believes so strongly that she’s weak so she doesn’t believe when others tell her she’s not, but when Eto does something to reinforce her own insecurities, she immediately falls even deeper. I really feel so sad for her but I love this bit actually. 

Hinami being eaten up as nutrition for the tree– in a way, she was. Aogiri used her for her abilities, which were clearly very valuable– and then when she’s no longer there, they simply discarded her. I think it’s suitable how in the end, Ayato went to save her with the Anteiku people rather than Aogiri people. Even though she had friends here, it makes it seem like how the Tree had washed its hands off her because it was done with her. It had eaten its fill, you know. 

Sigh Hinami you really should have listened to Miza here. 

[honeylikewords]

omgggggg please do getting to know/dating claire headcanons!! n maybe matt thinks he has a shot w her n he turns up to get patched up one night n interrupts their moment or smth lmao??

me, grinning like a horrible little garbage cat: so let it be written, so let it be done

OK SO claire and her soon-to-be-gf meet because her gf works at the hospital cafeteria and claire just slumps in, exhausted and says “coffee. lots of it.”

they get to talking over the months and claire is just. so pretty even when she’s tired and has no makeup and looks like she got hit by a truck. they talk and laugh and claire says “you know, you’re the only good thing left in this stupid hospital”

when claire gets fired for standing up to the hospital, she tells the girl who works in the cafeteria and says “im so sorry. i just... i can’t work here knowing they’d lie about something like this” so the girl looks claire up and down, then rips her nametag off and grabs claire’s hand and says “i’m leaving, too. if they’d do this, they’ll fuck anyone over. i quit, too.”

they both go out for drinks and get a little more tipsy than maybe they should and end up dancing together and the music goes from exciting to kinda slow and claire winds her arms around this girl’s waist and leans her head on her shoulder and starts humming along and the girl’s heart starts hammering like....oh my god she’s actually holding me!!!!

they go back to claire’s place and they sit on the couch and talk for a long time, kinda giggling stupidly because they’re both dumb and drunk and trying to hold back the urge to touch each other

but claire is a very huggy and physical person so she’s kinda talking to her friend and running her fingers through her hair and stroking her cheek and then kinda quietly says “you know, you’re too good for this city. have i told you that?” “no i’m not, claire” “yeah, you are. you’re fantastic.” and claire starts leaning in and so does the other girl and they’re just so close and their hearts are hammering and-

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK “claire LEMME IN” “uuuuuuuuuugh”

claire opens her window and there’s the devil of hell’s kitchen, who freezes when he sees another person is there and he’s just.

“Oh, uh, didn’t know you had company” “that’s why you should call first, you shithead” “claire i need your help-” “fine. where’s the damage?”

“claire, can you trust this guy?” and claire looks over her shoulder and rolls her eyes, then gives her friend the softest, most beautiful smile and says “no, but he needs help, so i guess i gotta.”

claire sewing this freak up while her friend hovers around her, nervous and chewing her nails, and the devil kinda leans into claire and whispers “your gal pal there doesn’t like me very much, does she?” and claire snorts and says “yeah, no fuckin’ joke. i don’t think either of us do, right now”

“claire, i know we didn’t really, you know, handle things right and i’m sorry, but i still-” “i’m gonna stop you there, okay? just... no. i have... i have someone else, okay?” and the devil goes quiet and claire’s friend’s heart stops because does she mean someone else or does claire mean... her?

once the devil leaves, claire goes to wash her hands in the sink and her friend follows her and claire looks at her in the bathroom mirror and smiles really warmly and says “you know i meant you, right?”

“you- you did?” “if you want me.”

“....i do.”

OF COURSE claire is a sarcastic person but she really opens up and softens around her gf and they’re so cute together- they’re both private people but they like the fun of PDA like giving each other sweet little kisses and holding hands and sending each other pictures 

getting texts at 5 am when claire wakes up and she’s making a silly face, no makeup, just sticking her tongue out and it’s captioned “aren’t i so attractive?” to which her gf replies with an even SILLIER face and says “way more than me” and they get into a compliment war

chinese food and bad cable movies night where they curl up together and make comments about the idiots on the movies (”oh johnny, howEVER will i live without you?” claire snorting “OH PATRICIA, WE’RE SOOO IN LOVE EVEN THOUGH WE ONLY MET THREE DAYS AGO”)

they kinda joke about being married until one day they’re out at the park and claire looks over and says “hey. you know, it’s, uh, legal now, right?” “.....what do you mean?” “us. married.” and her gf freezes for a second until claire pulls out this really simple little gold band and she says “i know it’s not much but it was my mom’s and i was thinking maybe-” “YES.” “really?” “YES YES YES!”

a small but warm wedding of friends and some family (claire’s father and mother passed away a while ago so it’s a little limited with family, but loads of friends) and it’s just. the happiest day of their lives

IM SORRY I LOVE CLAIRE TEMPLE IM SORRY

[beyondstr8]

1-150🤧

@tellmeonasunday​ I should have kept my mouth shut.

1. Who was the last person you held hands with? My most recent ex.2. Are you outgoing or shy? Half and half, depending on my mood and how comfortable i am with you.3. Who are you looking forward to seeing? My best friend when she comes home again4. Are you easy to get along with? 99% of the time yes5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you? I mean I’d hope so6. What kind of people are you attracted to? Those who are goal oriented, want to achieve things in life, can joke around a lot and i’m working on surrounding myself with positive people.7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? I have no idea.8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind? I don’t like guys but Jason Momoa can get it no matter how gay i might be9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? If it’s someone I just met or came out to and they say “so how does lesbian sex work? is it even sex? nothing gets inserted right?” I’m a lil uncomfortable.10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? Amy or Savannah11. What does the most recent text that you sent say? “I haven’t kissed anyone in a year and i’m dying” lmfaooooo12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now? Oh man... I’m on an Amine, Kane Brown, Khalid, and Metallica kick currently so basically anything by them.13. Do you like it when people play with your hair? Jesus fuck yes 14. Do you believe in luck and miracles? I think so15. What good thing happened this summer? Finally got in touch with myself16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? Fuck no she owes me money lmao17. Do you think there is life on other planets? Yes, there’s no way that all of the life in the universe happens to be where we stand.18. Do you still talk to your first crush? No, I don’t talk to my kindergarten teacher’s daughter.19. Do you like bubble baths? I don’t want to marinate in my own filth20. Do you like your neighbors? Considering my neighbor is my grandma, i think shes okay.21. What are you bad habits? Biting my fingernails when i have anxiety22. Where would you like to travel? Literally anywhere I haven’t been23. Do you have trust issues? Only if I get a bad vibe from someone24. Favorite part of your daily routine? Hyping myself up for work in the morning with music25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? My tummy.26. What do you do when you wake up? Snooze my alarm and go tf back to sleep27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? I’m content with it28. Who are you most comfortable around? Savannah, my best friend29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up? No30. Do you ever want to get married? Absolutely31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail? It has been every day so far32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with? Ruby Rose and Carrie Underwood33. Spell your name with your chin. No thank you34. Do you play sports? What sports? I played softball for 14 years.35. Would you rather live without TV or music? I don’t watch tv anyways36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? Yes37. What do you say during awkward silences? Whatever is on my mind38. Describe your dream girl/guy? Shorter than me, a little feminine but not high maintenance like always having their hair/nails done, smart, funny af, gotta be a good friend, and they gotta like me back39. What are your favorite stores to shop in? Target, Tjmaxx, bealls, and Bass pro40. What do you want to do after high school? I went to college for a year on a softball scholarship, then became an emt and now i’m working at target41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? Not everyone42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean? I either don’t like you at all or i’m secretly in love with you43. Do you smile at strangers? I try to44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean? The ocean is my shit45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning? The paycheck46. What are you paranoid about? Nothing that i can think of47. Have you ever been high? No48. Have you ever been drunk? i wouldn’t say drunk, but i was feeling it49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? my mom would kill me if she found out i drink50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore? Red51. Ever wished you were someone else? not really52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself? How quickly i let my guard down53. Favourite makeup brand? i don’t wear makeup54. Favourite store? Target55. Favourite blog? mine lmao56. Favourite colour? blue, always will be57. Favourite food? anything that’s bad for me, particularly chocolate and pasta and breads58. Last thing you ate? chocolate lmfao59. First thing you ate this morning? Strawberry frosted pop tarts60. Ever won a competition? For what? Yes for a lot of things61. Been suspended/expelled? For what? I’ve never even had a detention lol62. Been arrested? For what? no63. Ever been in love? thought i was64. Tell us the story of your first kiss? Lmfaooooo it was my best friend65. Are you hungry right now? I’m always hungry66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends? I don’t have any tumblr friends67. Facebook or Twitter? facebook68. Twitter or Tumblr? Tumblr69. Are you watching tv right now? No70. Names of your bestfriends? Savannah, Katie, and Amy71. Craving something? What? Love and affection and chocolate72. What colour are your towels? blue72. How many pillows do you sleep with? 173. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? no74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have? maybe like.. 475. Favourite animal? Doggos76. What colour is your underwear? Grey77. Chocolate or Vanilla? Chocolate78. Favourite ice cream flavour? Chocolate fudge brownie79. What colour shirt are you wearing? white80. What colour pants? I’m not wearing pants lol81. Favourite tv show? That 70′s show, reba, friends82. Favourite movie? Forrest Gump, Moana83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2? mean girls84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street? mean girls85. Favourite character from Mean Girls? the gay guy, i forgot his name86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo? the little shrimp guy87. First person you talked to today? Jas88. Last person you talked to today? Jas lmao89. Name a person you hate? Trump and his whole cabinet90. Name a person you love? my momma91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? Trump and his whole cabinet92. In a fight with someone? Trump and his whole cabinet93. How many sweatpants do you have? 4 pairs94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have? i have like 5 but i only wear 195. Last movie you watched? Moana or the water boy96. Favourite actress? Sandra Bullock currently97. Favourite actor? tom hanks or adam sandler98. Do you tan a lot? No i go straight from white to red99. Have any pets? No100. How are you feeling? content but tired101. Do you type fast? on my phone yes102. Do you regret anything from your past? I just wish i said something sooner103. Can you spell well? yes104. Do you miss anyone from your past? yes105. Ever been to a bonfire party? yes106. Ever broken someone’s heart? im not sure107. Have you ever been on a horse? when i was like 4 at a fair108. What should you be doing? probably sleeping109. Is something irritating you right now? how many fucking questions there are110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt? oh yes111. Do you have trust issues? kind of112. Who was the last person you cried in front of? i rarely cry in front of people but probably my mom113. What was your childhood nickname? Steph, always has been114. Have you ever been out of your province/state? Yes115. Do you play the Wii? no116. Are you listening to music right now? always117. Do you like chicken noodle soup? when im sick118. Do you like Chinese food? noooooo119. Favourite book? the Crank series by ellen hopkins120. Are you afraid of the dark? only if i hear something121. Are you mean? no, i try to be as nice as possible but if you fuck w my friends its going down122. Is cheating ever okay? fuck no123. Can you keep white shoes clean? also fuck no124. Do you believe in love at first sight? i believe in the click125. Do you believe in true love? im not sure126. Are you currently bored? no i have plenty of questions to answer127. What makes you happy? getting good amounts of sleep, meeting deadlines at work, and my best friend128. Would you change your name? no129. What your zodiac sign? cancer130. Do you like subway? yes131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? sorry pal132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? savannah or amy133. Favourite lyrics right now? so many, idk134. Can you count to one million? if i had the time and patience135. Dumbest lie you ever told? i hid my dad’s wallet from him when i was like 4 and i said i didnt know where it was136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed? closed af137. How tall are you? 5′8138. Curly or Straight hair? mine is the straightest part about me139. Brunette or Blonde? blonde as hell140. Summer or Winter? summer141. Night or Day? daytime but im also a night owl ???142. Favourite month? june bc of my birthday and its halfway through the year143. Are you a vegetarian? no144. Dark, milk or white chocolate? all, but dark145. Tea or Coffee? medium mocha iced coffee with cream and sugar from dunkin146. Was today a good day? it’s payday, its friday, and i don’t work for 4 days. 147. Mars or Snickers? snickers148. What’s your favourite quote? i can’t think of anything rn but probably something cheesy149. Do you believe in ghosts? idk about “ghosts” but i believe in spirits150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? “Of course, i know he has to work until 5:30″ (via catscuddlingandyou)

[authenticallyvoid]

I’m trying not to weigh myself until like. Mayb Sunday. Earlier if I’m feeling like what I’m doing is working. I’m so upset w myself. I binged all weekend long. And looking at myself in the mirror makes me want to cry. I have to be at least 115 or 116 rn. It’s ridiculous. The shit I do to myself and my body even tho I kno I’m gonna hate myself for it later. I’m trying rn to keep it around or less than 500 cal a day. Mayb less later in the week, I just feel like I need it rn Bc I’m getting depressive and tired again and I don’t want to fuck myself over. I am in control. I kno that I can do this and it will b okay. I’m rly hoping this works well and quickly. I’m hoping by Sunday I’ll be back to 110 or 111. Ugh fingers crossing. I think by tmr morning I should already look less bloaty, Bc I’m drinking a lot of water again and also making like. Smart choices abt my calories. All fruit and veggies today. And tofu? Which I think is fine. I had some coffee too but just the normal soy milk w it so it would b like less than 50 cal for sure. I need to go grocery shopping soonish Bc I need more yogurt. I might also just buy in bulk at the huddle lmao or like on the way home after work. I hate showing up to the dining hall so often and knowing ppl recognize me. Lol I hate that ppl kno I eat and what I eat and when I eat. Hatttte that. I should b fine w/o any more food tonight. I’m just gonna finish some hw, by done by 9 and shower and get into bed. Mayb 9:30 Bc I’m trying to get ahead of some stuff. Idk if its Bc of the restriction or PMS but I’m always craving sugar. Idk what to do abt that except Mayb picking up some of that brownie brittle or halo top ice cream. Only 320 cal in the whole thing, and I wouldn’t let myself eat the whole thing again lmao. Okay. Signing off. Rly hoping I don’t feel as disgusting tmr as I did today

[crvsaded]

all the texts for pluton i love you

╰ BEEP BEEP TEXTS FROM ME TO YOU | always accepting ! | @catastrvphe​ & Pluto !

→ A funny text

[ txt || littlest planet ]: jax tired to tell another your face joke[ txt || littlest planet ]: anyways, i’m going to be home later with blood on my shirt[ txt || littlest planet ]: i accidentally punched him in the nose too hard for annoying me….

→ A sad text

[ txt || littlest planet ]: i saw my dad today[ txt || littlest planet ]: he didn’t recognize me.[ txt || littlest planet ]: my actual father, the flesh and blood one.

→ A scared text

[ txt || littlest planet ]: what if they wake up one day and just[ txt || littlest planet ]: they dont want me anymore? they realize that [ txt || littlest planet ]: nothing i’ve ever done is good enough[ txt || littlest planet ]: what do i do then?

→ A late night text

[ txt || littlest planet ]: did you go to the bathroom?[ txt || littlest planet ]: i miss you

→ An excited text

[ txt || littlest planet ]: i saw a piano in the store today[ txt || littlest planet ]: it was made of 100% ivory[ txt || littlest planet ]: it was beautiful[ txt || littlest planet ]: i think i might buy it but its really expensive.

→ An angry text

[ txt || littlest planet ]: i told you to stop letting them touch you[ txt || littlest planet ]: i hate it so fucking much[ txt || littlest planet ]: you keep saying you don’t like it either but you let people do whatever they want to you

→ A frustrated text

[ txt || littlest planet ]: i want to start playing again[ txt || littlest planet ]: i want to figure out waht i want to do with my life now that i’m retired[ txt || littlest planet ]: but i have no clue and i feel useless

→ A concerned text

[ txt || littlest planet ]: are you okay?[ txt || littlest planet ]: i thought i heard something fall outside[ txt || littlest planet ]: did you hurt yourself?[ txt || littlest planet ]: do you need me to come outside?[ txt || littlest planet ]: I’m coming anyways.

→ A loving text

[ txt || littlest planet ]: you are so fucking beautiful[ txt || littlest planet ]: i don’t know how else to say it, or whatelse to say[ txt || littlest planet ]: you’re so fucking beautiful i can’t even handle it[ txt || littlest planet ]: i can’t believe you’re real[ txt || littlest planet ]: i love you so much

→ A confession via text

[ txt || littlest planet ]: I think im scared[ txt || littlest planet ]: i know i’m a good player[ txt || littlest planet ]: but when i first started playing things were great[ txt || littlest planet ]: we were all so happy[ txt || littlest planet ]: and then it just changed[ txt || littlest planet ]: and i feel like if i start playing again like that[ txt || littlest planet ]: if i fall back in love with the piano i’ll lose whatever i have left[ txt || littlest planet ]: i’ll lose my family[ txt || littlest planet ]: i’ll lose you[ txt || littlest planet ]: because it all fell apart last time too.

→ An accidental text

[ txt || littlest planet ]: gET DOWN Mr. PRESIDENT.[ txt || littlest planet ]: JAEKI [ txt || littlest planet ]: 6 minutes.[ txt || littlest planet ]: oh. [ txt || littlest planet ]: sorry pluto[ txt || littlest planet ]: ignore me.

→ A wrong number text

[ txt || littlest planet ]: clearly you’ve the wrong number[ txt || littlest planet ]: i don’t know this moon you’re talking about[ txt || littlest planet ]: and he surely did take the trash out like you asked 4 times.

→ A text that wasn’t sent

[ txt || littlest planet ]: i don’t think i’m good enough[ txt || littlest planet ]: it’s been years but i still don’t think im good enough for you[ txt || littlest planet ]: i think that you deserve someone better[ txt || littlest planet ]: someones less broken[ txt || littlest planet ]: someone who can love you deeper[ txt || littlest planet ]: and i’m sorry i feel that way[ txt || littlest planet ]: i hope it passes soon.

→ A text for help

[ txt || littlest planet ]: i can’t find my wallet[ txt || littlest planet ]: do you know where i left it?[ txt || littlest planet ]: i feel like i can’t find half my things without your help lately.

→ A helpful text

[ txt || littlest planet ]: yeah you left your keys in my pants[ txt || littlest planet ]: from when we got groceries yesterday[ txt || littlest planet ]: i’ll be home soon to let you in

→ A comforting text

[ txt || littlest planet ]: well, i don’t think he’ll get upset[ txt || littlest planet ]: just tell him how you feel[ txt || littlest planet ]: you’re the one who said honesty was the best policy right?[ txt || littlest planet ]: or w/e[ txt || littlest planet ]: either way, no matter what I’m here for you.

→ A drunk text

[ txt || littlest planet ]: I”M SO SORRY Y YY Y [ txt || littlest planet ]: I GOT MARRIED )))):[ txt || littlest planet ]: IT WASN’t TO YOU I’M SORRY[ txt || littlest planet ]: MY HUSBAND IS SO FUCKING CUTE THO!!!![ txt || littlest planet ]: look at him ): [ txt || littlest planet ]: mms.

→ A bad idea text

[ txt || littlest planet ]: just walk out[ txt || littlest planet ]: no one’s going to say anything

→ A rude text

[ txt || littlest planet ]: i don’t care.[ txt || littlest planet ]: …[ txt || littlest planet ]: sorry.[ txt || littlest planet ]: i just really don’t care about the situation.

→ A one word text

[ txt || littlest planet ]: fuck.

→ A text asking for advice

[ txt || littlest planet ]: do you think i look fat in these pants[ txt || littlest planet ]: i’m right behind you?[ txt || littlest planet ]: turn around omg.[ txt || littlest planet ]: no the other way[ txt || littlest planet ]: do i look fat in these pants?

→ A final text

[ txt || littlest planet ]: no pluto[ txt || littlest planet ]: i’m not doing it.

→ A flirty text

[ txt || littlest planet ]: mm i love seeing your tight little ass[ txt || littlest planet ]: it’s so fucking perfect[ txt || littlest planet ]: round and gorgeous[ txt || littlest planet ]: i can’t wait to put my hands on it[ txt || littlest planet ]: and my fingers in it

→ A hyper text

[ txt || littlest planet ]: i had SO much COFFEE[ txt || littlest planet ]: I think i can FEEL my brain racing[ txt || littlest planet ]: lmao jkjkjkjkkj[ txt || littlest planet ]: its your HEARt that races.[ txt || littlest planet ]: i need water.[ txt || littlest planet ]: i think im going to run 7 miles in 4 minutes now.

→ A weird text

[ txt || littlest planet ]: ….[ txt || littlest planet ]: *x-files theme*[ txt || littlest planet ]: *types into a microwave*[ txt || littlest planet ]: jax is teaching me about memes.

→ A sarcastic text

[ txt || littlest planet ]: no i think he’s fucking great[ txt || littlest planet ]: i love him[ txt || littlest planet ]: biggest fan[ txt || littlest planet ]: 10/10 would befriend again .

→ A heartbreaking text & → A long text.

[ txt || littlest planet ]: i don’t think he loves me[ txt || littlest planet ]: i don’t think he ever loved me[ txt || littlest planet ]: my father[ txt || littlest planet ]: then again[ txt || littlest planet ]: no father of mine has ever loved me[ txt || littlest planet ]: not my real one[ txt || littlest planet ]: not the foster[ txt || littlest planet ]: hah[ txt || littlest planet ]: what if saturn doesn’t love me too[ txt || littlest planet ]: what if he’s just saying it to make me feel better[ txt || littlest planet ]: what if it was all a lie[ txt || littlest planet ]: anyways[ txt || littlest planet ]: they found my foster father’s old will and testiment[ txt || littlest planet ]: he died, apparently[ txt || littlest planet ]: a week ago.[ txt || littlest planet ]: he left me everything he ever owned[ txt || littlest planet ]: and i just [ txt || littlest planet ]: i don’t want it[ txt || littlest planet ]: why would he leave me anything why would he do that[ txt || littlest planet ]: he never loved me, [ txt || littlest planet ]: why is he messing with me even in his death? [ txt || littlest planet ]: he said i was some worthless piece of shit he never wanted in the first place[ txt || littlest planet ]: that he never wanted to see me again ever in his life[ txt || littlest planet ]: that i was only good for money and i gave it up[ txt || littlest planet ]: i threw it away, i threw the ring away[ txt || littlest planet ]: i threw everything that was good in my life away[ txt || littlest planet ]: that iw as just a piece of shit that no one would ever want or love and here i am[ txt || littlest planet ]: surrounded by so many people and some how[ txt || littlest planet ]: some how i still feel like he was right[ txt || littlest planet ]: maybe my whole life is a lie[ txt || littlest planet ]: maybe everything that has ever been sent to me was a lie[ txt || littlest planet ]: maybe i am just a pathetic useless human being[ txt || littlest planet ]: i sure act like one don’t i?[ txt || littlest planet ]: anyways[ txt || littlest planet ]: his funeral is next week[ txt || littlest planet ]: i’m not going.