#omg and 'well i identify as a man'

[thenamesjared]

Just watched the new Jubilee 'Feminists vs Antifeminists' video. Can I get a bunch of brave trans inclusive lesbians to come bitch slap Arielle Scarcella with me?

Also there was a black woman on the same side as her who had some really interesting points and... Who's surprised she spoke over her? So done.

[softgrungeprophet]

one of these days i'll draw some of the other dancers....

[luv4berry]

Can you pls make one abt miles and yn getting into a very heated argument and she slaps him for saying smth outrageous and then she leaves and he climbs into her window after a few hours and tries to work it out with her

anything for you.

earth 42!miles morales x fem!reader

SUMMARY: you go over to miles practically drenched in another man's cologne, and he jumps to conclusions all too quickly.

GENRE: fluff to angst to fluff.

WARNINGS: bickering/arguing, physical contact made by reader, jealous miles, cursing, kissing/making out, suggestive (?) miles calling women females (this needs a trigger warning in itself), CORNYYY

AUTHORS NOTE: yo why this tumblr shit lowkey fun? + this is my first request agagaa thank you!! omg and i hit 200?? and my eyes only is almost at 2k notes wtf r y’all onnnn?? anyways thank you for requesting! i didn’t make miles say anything too outrageous just so he could redeem himself later on, hope you like it!

��you look so good,” your boyfriend says for what seems like the 100th time today, his large hands immediately dropping to your bare waist, fidgeting with your waist beads as he leans in to mold your lips, a smile gracing his face when you return his affection.

“all mine.” he mutters as he intensifies the kiss, his hands approaching the waist band of his boxers that you’ve claimed as your own. when he lifts your feet off the ground, the heels of your feet lock around his back, a giggle escaping your lips when he lays you down on his bed. you pull away from him, laying the palms of your hands on his chest to keep him away when he pursues your lips once more.

“miles, we can’t make out all day.” you giggle, running your manicured fingers down his chest.

“says who?” he buries his head in the crevice between your neck and shoulder, leaving wet kisses along the space when he suddenly pauses.

he removes his head from the crevice, sitting up to which you follow.

“baby,” you hum in acknowledgement, “where’d you go today?” he questions you, a hint of an indistinguishable emotion in his voice.

“just here, why?” you question him, running your nails up and down his neck. a look of confusion immediately sweeps over your features when he calmly removes your hand from his body.

“cause you smell like somebody been rubbing all up on you.” he looks you up and down, leaning in to now smell your clothes, hair, neck, anything within the perimeter really.

he pulls back, “who were you with?” his expression solidified.

“nobody, i swear i don’t know why i smell.” you reason with him, genuinely confused as well.

“oh? so the smell just magically took over your hair and your clothes?”

he completely gets up from his position next to you, hovering over you. “y/n, i know im not tripping, who the hell was rubbing up on you and why’s the smell so strong? that’s what we doin’ now? and then you got the audacity to bring your ass over to my house, lay in my bed, and wear my clothes.”

“what are you implying?” you scowl at him, now rising to your own feet.

“im implying that you forreal out here fucking on other dudes when you got a whole ass boyfriend.”

the next few moments go by swiftly and mindlessly, but the scorching sensation left in the palm of your left hand enables you to process what just happened almost immediately; you slapped him. though, not an ounce of regret filled your tank of emotions, adrenaline being the only identifiable one.

“i don’t know who the hell you’re talking to but it can’t be me, how dare you?” you glare at him, the imprint of your palm already making its mark on his face, the surrounding skin blemishing. “when have i ever done something like that to you?”

“today, apparently.” he mumbles under his breath, caressing the skin of his cheek to soothe the discomfort.

you look at him like he’s just grown 3 heads before silently walking over to the corner of his room, pulling his graphic tee over your shoulders. you immediately lunge it at him, same with his boxers, bracelets, his necklace, anything of his that is currently making contact with you. you zip up your navy blue hoodie, slipping your sweatpants over your bare legs.

you bring your tote bag over your shoulder, making your way towards his window which he currently guards, glaring at you from where you stand.

“miles, get the hell out my way before i pop you in your mouth next.”

“i want his name and address, you not going anywhere till i get an answer.”

you flail your arms in his face, “are you deaf or just stupid? there is no “him” because the only person i been rubbing up on is you!”

“baby, i don’t smell like no cheap ass cologne.”

“don’t call me that, move!” you raise your voice, stepping up to him.

“what’s his name?”

“you’re crazy.” you scoff, instead bolting for the front door. you’re mindful of mama rio cooking in the kitchen, slipping past quietly as to not raise any suspicion. though, you do bid her a quiet farewell, yet even when you slip out the front door with a smile on your face she knows something isn’t right by the way miles isn’t trailing behind you.

“miles, qué pasó?” she calls out from the kitchen, wiping her hands down her apron and subtly knocking on her sons door before entering.

“it’s nothing.” he calls back, digging his cheek into his pillow to prevent his mother from spotting the blossoming blemish. he didn’t want to explain how he got you so worked up that you slapped him to his mother, or anyone for that matter.

“it’s nothing? invite her over for dinner tonight.” rio arches her brow, taking a seat next to her son on the bed.

“we aren’t on good terms right now.” he sighs out, rubbing his hands over his eyes.

“even more of a reason to invite her over, right?” rio says, making her way out of his bedroom before miles could come up with a rebuttal.

he lazily grabs his phone when it pings, though when he realizes the message is from you, he throws it on the floor until the phone pings with a second message. he groans loudly swiping open your messages.

one attachment

next time don’t make stupid assumptions you dick

the photo captioned was of a half empty cologne bottle you had probably found somewhere in your home, miles heart immediately dropping to his stomach.

okay, maybe he fucked up a teensy tiny bit.

when you got home, you racked your brain for a possible explanation as to why you smelled like anything other than your boyfriend. you were stumped till your brother had walked past you, the aroma that had gotten miles so worked up earlier clouding your senses immediately.

you lay on the pad of your tummy on your king sized bed, your irritable mood causing a burning sensation to spread throughout your body. though it may not be displayed through your face, you were absolutely livid. after all you’ve done for him, this is what you got in return, his unprecedented allegations.

sure it was reasonable to be suspicious, but to outright accuse you? you’ve never given him any reason not to trust you, reassuring him whenever he needed it. had your words not been enough? what about your gestures? what about the times you’d cuddle up with him in bed, sleepily muttering words like “im yours,” or “i belong to you, miles.” had that not been enough?

your jittering thoughts are interrupted by a newfound presence in the corner of your room, the peripherals of your eye capturing those twin braids that you adore so much.

“nuh uh, get the hell up outta here.” you sit up, pointing back towards the window.

“deadass?” he raises both brows, staring at you dead in the eyes.

“deadass.” you return the gesture.

“nah.” he climbs into bed with you, settling his arm over your waist.

“im being serious miles, get out. don’t touch me either.” you pick up his arm as if it’s diseased, laying it over his stomach.

“you don’t like it when i touch on you?” he says in a sultry voice, and you roll your eyes.

“ma, listen to me,” he grabs your chin meeting you at eye level, your brows still furrowed out of anger. when your eyes meet his, any foreign sense of anger evaporates from your system, turning to putty in his hands, no matter how much you tried to fight it.

“you’re so pretty baby,” he kisses your downturned lips once.

“why you look so mad?” he ignorantly questions you, kissing your lips once more.

“baby smile for me?” he squishes your cheeks, yet he’s still met with silence till you finally part your lips.

“this isn’t helping your case by the way.” you roll your eyes at his obvious attempts to bribe you.

“alright, what if i came to you smelling like some other female? you wouldn’t like that huh?” he attempts to reason with you.

“i came to you smelling like my brother? and even then if you came to me smelling like some girl i would conduct a thorough investigation first.” you side eye him.

“how was i supposed to know it was your brother? i didn’t even know he was back.”

“he got back this morning, i gave him a hug and he must’ve rubbed off on me.”

“you didn’t tell me all that. so what i gotta do for you to believe im sorry, hm?” he climbs on top of you, following your darting eyes with his own.

“buy me a pandora bracelet.” you joke.

he perks up, “on god? baby i buy you jordans every other day, the hell is a bracelet?”

“i mean i was joking but you serious?”

“you didn’t know that i’d do anything for you?”

“you’re corny boooo, leave me alone.” you push his head away from yours, your facade breaking when a smile plays at your lips.

“y/n?”

“hm?”

“why do you hit so hard?”

“what do you mean?” you ask him, your outburst from earlier had completely left your mind. he turns to the side, and your eyes widen as they lay upon the imprint of your hand slowly fading,

“oh shit,” you wince, inspecting the damage of your earlier actions.

you throw the blanket off your legs, sitting on your knees to inspect further. you silently grab his hand, heading towards your bathroom as you slowly feel guilt begin to stir inside you.

“stay here.” he watches as you disappear into the hallway, coming back with a frozen pack of peas. you hold it up to his cheek for him, fiddling with the ends of his braids as you repeatedly check for signs of the bruising going away.

“im sorry miles, i shouldn’t have hit you.”

he hums in acknowledgment of your apology, parting his lips to speak. “it’s okay, i like them aggressive.”

a smile threatens your lips, your hand going up to cover your mouth to keep your false facade up.

“nah why you keep smiling?” he grabs your wrist, pulling your hand down to stare at you intently.

“stop that.” you attempt to straighten out your face.

it’s silent for the next few moments as you adjust the frozen peas seeing that the bruise had almost completely faded.

“y/n, you know im being forreal when i say i’d do anything for you, right?”

“yeah, i know.”

love, berry.

[livelaughlovesubs]

Hi! Sorry i wasn't specific!

The the virus/usb/ software one with retractable cock/pussy boothil like omg... Like there's a lot of things you can do with this promt nini... I'm going feral like i have a lot of ideas

Please tell me your ideas <33 I’d love to hear them mannnn, hsr isn’t treating my space cowboy right so I have to

Dom!reader x sub!boothill

Warning: boothill has a pussy, fingering, dirty talk (a little), finger sucking, overstimulation

“You muddle-forker! What did ya do?” Boothill stormed into your room, slamming the door shut behind him. “What’s the problem, cowboy?” You stayed seated on your bed, tapping away on your laptop without looking up at him. “That update ya promised me, that would help me identify oswaldo even among tausends of people! Are you shirt-bag kiddin’ me?” His footsteps got louder as he approached you, then he slammed his hand onto your nightstand, leaving behind an USB-stick. “This thing here is nothing but trouble, it’s fudgin’ broken!”

Your gaze eventually left the screen on your lap, now staring up at the cyborg. His face was all red and sweaty, suggesting he hurried over to you. “And what exactly is broken with it?” The expression you wore was nonchalant, your voice was unimpressed and almost condescending. As if you looked down on him. “All it did was causing my system to overheat, fudge, it’s already hot enough without it, no need to make me get a heatstroke.” Boothill clenched his teeth, scratching his head a little. Huh? But you didn’t remember adding a heating function to that Programm you’ve written. Without giving you any time to think, he continued with, “.. and there was a text saying I should fudge with someone. Seriously, are you forking joking?” Oh. So that’s what happened. You thought about it for a while, before coming to a conclusion. “Hah.. I told you to use the blue USB-stick, you took the red one didn’t you?”

He blinked, searching through his memory bank before snarling at you, “Forke me, you told me to use the red one!” You shook your head in opposition, “I’m pretty sure I said blue.” An audible sigh came from the galaxy ranger, he then uttered under his breath, “Why am I even arguing with you… just fix this, ol’ friend. What was that port for anyway.” Your hand plugged a wire to your laptop, before commanding, “it was just a pass-time project, now turn around.” The male did as you said, showing you his hips and pulling his hair out of the way. Soon, you plugged the other end into his body, thus connecting the two machines.

It would be a lie to say he wasn’t a little on edge the whole time, especially when you sticked the end of the wire in, he felt a weird sensation coursing through his body. So he cursed in response, “mother-fudger.” A slight tremble could be heard as he spoke, as well as the troubled expression on his face. “Alright, I’ll start looking into it now.” You gave him a heads up, now resuming your previous actions and staring at the screen before you. The USB-stick this unfortunate cowboy used was originally meant for him, but according to your words it wasn’t time yet. You quickly tried to suppress the virus, groaning a little when it turned out to be more difficult than expected.

Boothill on the other hand got more impatient with each passing second, for him it was like torture. Somehow he was feeling all hot, and up to this point he’s been blaming it onto the weird thing that infiltrated his system, though it seems like the heat only grew after being in your company. “Tsk, there is no other way then.” You mumbled, your expression was serious. “What?” The man who was still standing next to your bed asked, he had a confused look on his face. “I’m saying, we will have to solve this in a less appropriate manner.” Even though you were pretty bold, you still tried to word it in a refined way, but it only frustrated the cowboy more. “Don’t talk in riddles, just forking tell me.”

“Haaah.” You sighed, before shouting, “it means you’ll have to do what that text wants from you, easy enough to understand?” You rolled your eyes and scoffed, but your eyes glimmered, as if you’ve been waiting for this. “I-… forkeroni, why would you create something like that?!” He screamed back at you, his face now completely flushed red. To think you got him flustered and blushing so easily, you didn’t even need to make that virus. Gently, you plugged the wire out and put your laptop to the side, instead you grabbed his hips and pulled him in. He yelped and stumbled a little, yet he didn’t resist and sat down on your lap without much trouble. Then you said, “for you, of course. I didn’t expect it to happen this early though.”

For him? So you wanted him to catch this virus and become a mess, hah, you really did look down on him didn’t you? “So it’s because ya want to get’in ma pants?” He snarled cheekily, though that front of his wasn’t very convincing, considering how he shook in your grasp. “You caught me.” You replied, before fumbling with his belt. “Ughh.. is this- really necessary?” Just like that his confident attitude vanished, now back to being the shy cyborg he was. “You don’t have to do it with me, I think you can take care of it by yourself as well.” After finishing your sentence, you took your hands away from him. His weight was still pressing down your thighs, and his metallic body leaned back against your chest.

His eyes widened at your suggestion. Next thing you know, he immediately denied that possibility. “Y-you are the one who started this mess, so you cant back out halfway.” You noticed how his hands were bawled into fists, resting on top of his own thighs. Not to mention the stutter in his voice, so he did want you to help. “Right, it wouldn’t be proper of me to not take responsibility.” A chuckle slipped from your lips before you agreed to his statement. He nodded, as if to confirm what you said. “Then, am I right when I say I have your consent?” Boothill gulped loudly, before nodding again, trying to act unfazed. “Do what ya have to.”

You stared at his face for a while, taking in his features. Then your hands moved on their own, pulling away his belt and unzipping his pants. “Mhm, I’ll.” The poor man didn’t even have time to register your action before feeling your fingertips on his artificial cunt, caressing the area around it. “Ughh! Don’t.. don’t try anything funny.” He snarked at you, the embarrassment he felt was almost too much to handle. “I won’t, I’ll only do things you like.” You reassured him while rubbing his clit gently, intrigued by his reactions. It was truly amazing how he was able to feel pleasure even though it was a real one, considering it was made out of rubber or latex. Heck, you even thought he was a Ken doll for the longest time.

“HNng- you son of a.. bench. What are ya doing to me?” Boothill gasped, now his hands were clenching onto your arms for support. He turned his head to the side, to gaze over his shoulder and glare at you. To his surprise you took that opportunity to kiss him, causing him to whimper. “Nghh!! I’m really a J-joke to you ain’t I?” A breathy moan escaped him afterwards, and he shuddered when he noticed your finger circling around his entrance. “I’m taking this very seriously.” You commented, one hand moved up to his face and cupped his chin. Your thumb was resting on his bottom lip, after that you chuckled, “here, if you don’t have a better use for that foul mouth of yours, why don’t you suck on my fingers?” The cyborg glared at you again, his eyes sharp and half-lidded. You would have taken him seriously if it wasn’t for the adorable blush across his cheeks.

With lingering hesitation, boothill opened his mouth, letting you stick your finger inside. When you did, you took extra care to not brush over his sharp teeth, instead you instantly started playing with his tongue. It didn’t take long until your finger was coated in his spit. “GuuHh, nGhhm!” He gagged around your fingers a little, eyes now tightly sealed and brows furrowed. “Shh, focus on your breathing.” You advised him, before slowly sticking one finger inside his surprisingly soft cunt. The first one went in pretty easily, the second one was more difficult, considering he couldn’t get wet or anything like that.

“Hey, boothill, can you take out the lube from my drawer?” You ordered, right now only wriggling one finger around his insides while the other one was still in his throat. “Mmmhff… uhhhnm, mmHFFf!!!” He tried to complain, but it all got muffled by your digits. In the end he just complied without causing anymore trouble. Hands shaking uncontrollably as he fumbled around, trying to find the bottle. He couldn’t see it, only feel it, because he head was thrown back and resting against your shoulder. Just one finger was enough to make him feel this way, be this loud, you couldnt even imagine how it would be if you replaced it with something bigger.

After a while, he finally managed to find the bottle, hands still quivering as he hand it over to you. “Good boy.” You praised him, then took your finger out of him. After popping the bottle open, you squeezed some of the lube onto your fingers, and covered his hole with it. His entire body twitched and he arched his back off your body again. If only your digits weren’t down his throat, then he would have cussed you out already. At the same time he is grateful for it, because it helped him silencing some really shameful noises. A sudden whine broke off his train of thoughts, when you pushed two of your fingers inside him with one smooth movement.

“HnngGGHh! MHnHgg.?!” Now he was chocking on his own moans, drool hanging out from his lips as he gazed down at your hand. The two digits you sticked into him were burried inside his walls up to your knuckles, until you reached the most humiliating and deep parts of his body. There you accidentally grazed over his weak spot, causing him to throw his head back once again. His eyes were blurry and hazy as waves of pleasure crashed down onto him. He never knew this could feel so good, fudge it, he never knew he could feel anything at all. You saw how his entire frame was quivering like crazy, overheating even. The metal was almost too hot for you to handle.

Without further delay, you started thrusting your fingers in and out of his sloppy hole. He tried to close his legs, thighs pressing against your hand, but you just continued to finger him roughly. Boothill could swear he was going to shortcut if he doesn’t do something, he could already feel his consciousness fading away. Only whimpers left him since his groans were stuck in his mouth, high-pitched whines paired with lewd squelching founds filled the room. You kept brushing your fingertips against his soft spot, and each time you did so electricity would be send to his brain. All those sensations were too much, really. He couldn’t take any more.

You eventually took your fingers out of his mouth. Now, one hand was playing with his puffy cunt while the other one was smearing his saliva onto his cheeks. As soon as your digits left his lips, he cursed at you, “fo-fork you… hNgg..” You only smirked at him, before picking up your pace. Boothill was gasping and panting, tongue hanging out as he tried to calm down his breathing. His hands were clutching your arms so hard you were sure it would bruise the next day. “Sh-shirt… tis’ so good, mmHgnn, too mu-much..!” All these sensations swelling within him were too overwhelming, yet you didn’t even pity him! When he’d ask you to slow down, you’d answer with, “aw, but I want to fix you as soon as possible!”

His eyes widened when suddenly waves of pleasure and ecstasy washed over him. He would have screamed if he didn’t suffocate on his own voice, biting his tongue in the process. The little cyborg finally reached his orgasm, though nothing came out. Even then it was so good that his eyes rolled to the back of his skull, his bangs stuck to his face and his metallic body was shaking uncontrollably. You also noticed how his hole was gaping around you, as if it wanted more. Poor little thing was so unresponsive now, his head was all empty. He didn’t even have the ability to form coherent sentences or think about anything but the pleasure. All because he’s been consumed by lust and bliss, because of your touch.

Sadly you didn’t notice that he reached his orgasm already, so you continued to pound and tease his squishy walls. “HnnGh, no.. I can’t ♡!! NGhnm, no mo-more, ah-nHgh..!” He managed to mewl out after much efforts, but you only grinned in response to his pleads. The virus has also been taken care of, so there is no need for you to keep going! Boothill tried to tell it to you, so that you would finally stop. He was so sensitive he can’t possibly go for another round, or he’ll really break. So why did his voice have to fail him in such a crucial moment? It’s all because of your fingers overstimulating him like this, he can barely even sit straight now because he felt so weak.

What a pitiful boy.. all he could hope for was for you to realise the situation. He trusted you and your sharp intuition. But, to be honest, would you stop even if you found out?

[dreamauri]

♪ — 𝗔𝗡𝗗 𝗧𝗛𝗘𝗬 𝗪𝗘𝗥𝗘 𝗦𝗧𝗥𝗘𝗔𝗠𝗘𝗥𝗦 - part three lando norris x  fem! streamer! reader (fluff) “. . . lando finds himself addicted to playing video games with this girl he cant get out of his head.”

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devilsdare03 posted a tiktok

> replies . . .

user the guy is hooked, good luck devi 👍

user this confirms the suspicions. devi, you are the hottest woman on earth if you got lando norris all smiley like that

user the way he was in the middle of a convo with max and totally forgot the world around him once he saw her and sat up ⤷ user someone tell him her favorite type of flowers fr

mclaren is that our lando?? 😲 ⤷ devi.03 yep, it is

user the smile omg my heart ⤷ user girl just the smile?!! look at the little wave! he’s so cute i cant!

user the way he looks at her tho awwww

user ok but like, lando better ask her out, she went out of her way to go see him ⤷ user better not mess this up, lando norris ⤷ user on god 

user honestly im so glad they finally met, i've been waiting for this moment since december

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How to approach you, how to approach you, Lando pondered watching you standing at the little bar in the mclaren hospitality, waiting for your drink. "Suck it up." he mumbled, brushing his hand through his hair one last time before walking up to you. He was lucky enough that you wore the merch and the watch he got you, he would’ve thought you were an influencer if you hadn’t run your hand through your hair which showed the richard mille that identified you as you.

Lando awkwardly cleared his throat before asking the bartender for a drink. You looked up from your phone upon hearing the new but familiar voice. The brit in papaya tried to act cool, leaning on the counter and looking out of the glass wall onto the paddock. You smirked, leaning on your forearms as well. Taking a sip from your drink once it was set in front of you, you lightly nudged Lando.

He hummed, turning his head to face you. You shrugged your right sleeve up to reveal the watch. “I think I broke it.” Your words drew a frown from Lando, making him hold your wrist gently to inspect the watch. 

“You haven’t had it for two months.” He scolded trying to find where the fault would’ve been. You held in a smile, watching him put his ear down to listen to the ticks. 

“I’m telling you, man. Every third tick is slower.” Lando furrowed his eyebrows, staying there to see the apparent faulty watch. It was only when he realized you quoted the line from the movie cars did he nudge you with a huff. 

“You scared me. I thought you broke it.” He scolded, taking his monster drink and popping it open with a grumble. 

“I’d never even put a scratch on it.” you assured, nudging his shoulder with a laugh. “This is the first time I’ve worn it anyways, I wanted it to be a special occasion” You sighed happily, admiring the watch. Lando glanced at you while taking a sip from the drink.

“You think this is a special occasion?” he asked quietly, looking the other way as if he saw something when he was just trying to hide his smile. 

“Oh yeah, for sure.” you nodded, giggling. “I finally get to meet Max Verstappen.” the brunette turned to you with a deadpan while you tried to hold in your smile. You both knew you were joking. Lando would’ve thought you were playing a trick on him if you weren’t wearing his ln4 world merch and McLaren cap.

“So,” you pushed off the counter, “P4 for tomorrow's race, you think you can get a podium? A win maybe?” Lando tried to hold in a smile as he followed you, walking with you from the hospitality to the garage. 

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"I'm not letting you stay in a hotel?"

"What? Where should I stay? The curb?" You held your hands up confused. 

"You can't even afford the meal plan!" Lando scolded as he pushed you from behind in the parking lot.

The awkwardness a person would get from meeting someone for the first time didn't last long between you and Lando. It lasted only 30 seconds before you nearly gave the brit a heart attack by telling him you broke the watch. You randomly read it somewhere, it doesn't always work but it sure did this time because Lando was the same silly and funny guy who always butts in asking for a partner or a teammate in a game when he doesn't need one.

"I can just eat out??" You tried to argue not seeing where he was going with the conversation.

"That's wasting even more money!" He scolded, turning you right and letting you hop down the sidewalk into the rows upon rows of cars. 

"What am I supposed to do then?!" you threw your hands up just as Lando stopped to search for the car keys, with you still frozen, hands up in the air.

"Are you summoning god or something?" Oscar mumbled as he walked by. 

"I wish, I think he's going to throw me on the side of a highway or something." you replied, sighing. 

"Dev's staying in my room so I'm sleeping at yours." Lando told Oscar as he pulled the car door open. The aussie paused in his tracks, turning back and looking at you.

"You're dev?" Oscar more like stated before walking away, mumbling something about his girlfriend Lily. When the other papaya driver was out of earshot, you took the opportunity to roughly punch Lando's shoulder. 

"Ow! What was that for?" 

"You're giving out who I am?! What if someone hears? My face would be all over and I'm not gonna be able to set foot in campus!" You scolded him.

"What am I supposed to call you?!" he whisper shouted back. 

"My name, duh." ". . ." "I've spent 5 hours with you, how do you not know my name?"

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"De- Y/N." Lando corrected himself. After a long night of secretly eating room service pizza in his room and getting up early for the race, you and Lando decided to spend the morning in the paddock. You stopped chewing on the grapes you somehow got your hands on and looked up at him. Lando looked right and left before pulling a box of biscuits from his shirt.

Your eyebrows rose in surprise as you took the box happily, opening it as the boy took the seat beside you. The best thing about this certain hospitality is that there were no current fangirls sneaking around or trying to take pictures. So you and Lando were safe, fighting over cookies with no one noticing or paying any mind.

"I'm the one who got them!"

 "I'm the guest!" you argued back, trying to reach forward and take it back. 

"Yeah, but I'm the driver and I have a big race today so I need it!" 

"You need healthy food! Not carbohydrates—" un-thankfully for you, Oscar came up from the side and took the cookie while both of you were distracted.

He chewed peacefully while you and Lando had a face of utter despair. "It's my home race." he justified, taking another bite. "Also," he pointed the tiny piece of the cookie left at you. "I heard some people are looking for you." Your eyes widened in confusion. 

"Am I getting deported?" Now both of the McLaren boys were looking at you in confusion.

devs03 and landonorris posted on their stories

credits to proofreading to the lovely @classiclitfreak <3

[castielsprostate]

🚘impala1967 FOLLOW

I truly think people people should just get paid to live a living wage without having to work themselves to death but that's cOnTrOvErsIaL

😈kingofphatass FOLLOW

arent you the guy that fucked his car??

🚘impala1967 FOLLOW

Omg that was litrally MONTHS ago!!!!! Let it go already, jeez!

1,382 notes 🔃 ♡

#why is the king of hell's pornblog on my post anywayy omg shoo #i litrally have a DNI in my bio

💼lawboyatstanford ✅✅ FOLLOW

Passed the bar! 📄🖋️ On my way to become a lawyer 💼👨‍💼 (for real this time)

1 note 🔃♥️

#so proud of myself #education #stanford #stanfordlawyer #officialdegree #someonepayoffmystudentloans

👼thursdayangel 🦀📷FOLLOW

wishing you were here...

👼thursdayangel 🦀📷FOLLOW

talk to me babygirl

🍔dean-identifying-meat-in-posts FOLLOW

a black angus 200 grams grill smashed deluxe, farmed in north west-virginia

8,717 notes 🔃♥️

#identified meat #meat identified 17391 #tw food

🧓jwinchester FOLLOW

dating is hard with your ex wife being resurrected for the third time. i keep running into her on my grindr dates. #awkward

⚔️notvirginmary FOLLOW

Stop blaming me for things I have no control over! That red tie looked ugly on you btw.

💼lawboyatstanford ✅✅ FOLLOW

gross 🤢

54 notes 🔃♥️

#why can't my parents we normalllll #they already fucked up my childhood let me have my adulthood

🧛benwiththefang FOLLOW

a local werewolf pissed on my lawn. AGAIN.

🐺garthster🌓 FOLLOW

Well maybe if you stopped spraying your vamp hormones everywhere, local wws wouldn't feel so threatened! There's kids living here!

🧛benwiththefang FOLLOW

blocked and reported.

5 notes 🔃♡

#can't stand these beasts on my post #dni werewolfs

🧚godchuck👒👒👒👒📝✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅👻💀🌅🌓 FOLLOW

idk i think i need to fuck that man some more...

🧚godchuck👒👒👒👒📝✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅👻💀🌅🌓 FOLLOW

wrong account

85,158 notes 🔃♡

#fuck i keep doing this 😩😩 #@staff fix this issue!!!!!!!

[reiderwriter]

Hi!!! I really love your writing 🥺 Idk how this works so Idk if my request is alright so If it's ok for you to write it, I got this idea about Spencer turning into a player/manwhore after maeve died so he's not into y/n in the beginning but the others always joke about how she's totally in love with him and he doesn't believe until he starts to notice little things she does for him(like getting him coffee every morning, remembering everything he says) so he start to fall for her. Genre: smut with soft!Dom Spencer, dirty talk, degradation(please no daddy kink) (Sorry if it's to long, I read it's best for you if we give as much detail as possible so that's that) I'm going to identify myself with this emoji 🥺 when I read the fic or in my next requests, hope I gave you something to write with.

A/N: Thank you for the request and omg this plot has given me brain rot since you sent it in 💀 I accidentally made this a little angst-heavy for the first half but there's a very "happy ending" if you catch my drift. I hope you love it! ❤️

Summary: Spencer Reid's heart is broken. But in healing himself in the arms of countless woman, he doesn't realise he's breaking yours.

Word count: 4.6k

Warnings: Hurt/Comfort, angst, oral (F receiving), fingering, P in V penetration, dirty talk, degradation of you squint a little, soft!Dom Spencer is incredibly soft.

My masterlist with all my other works is here, and my requests are open!

It had taken four whole months before someone on the team had confronted Spencer about his grief, his lack of sleep, his overall dreariness, and they were almost shocked that it wasn’t you that did it. When Rossi had walked up to him, offering a story about his Uncle Sal in an attempt to get him to open up, or at least seek help, the others were on the other side of the glass, shooting looks over at you, quietly enquiring with their eyes about why it hadn’’t been you to offer him that out.

But you had, you’d been trying. You’d been following him around, taking him food every couple days to make sure he was eating, sticking around to make sure that he wasn’t lonely. You’d even cleaned up after him on the particularly hard days, where he didn’t want to move from his bed and couldn’t bring himself to go outside if there was no work, no one else to save. But you couldn’t offer him more, because he already had all of you.

You’d first realised that you were in love with Spencer Reid a few months after you’d joined the team. You’d been bought on as a fresh set of eyes on a case that had a lot more to do with you then the rest of the team had been led to believe.

Your high school boyfriend had been the victim of a notorious highway murderer, and you yourself had been kidnapped by the unsub, put in hell for the following three days and escaped with your life only because of an earlier BAU team, including agents Hotchner and Rossi. When bodies had started turning up on the same stretch of highway, you needed to be involved or you’d never prove to yourself that you could do what they did to save you. That you’d be able to put your feelings aside and catch monsters.

You’d found the man responsible of course, and in restraining yourself from putting a bullet in his brain, you’d found yourself a place on the team, and some peace for a time. And then Spencer happened.

You really should have known. You were always fond of the nerdy type, of men who had such deep interests that they forgot to pay attention to social queues, who had too many cute habits (like purposefully mismatching socks) that you couldn’t help but find endearing. You’d grown close quickly, with the man grateful that there was finally someone to listen to him ramble and not judge him, and you grateful that he also held himself back enough, listened closely and well to remember so many details about your conversations. You knew an eidetic memory helped, but it was the care in the small actions, like buying you the beanie baby you lost as a child but still mourned, that you’d mentioned in conversation a grand total of one time, that really solidly made you realise. You were in love with him and had dug yourself a hole that you weren’t going to be able to climb out of anytime soon.

You’d almost told him once. Convinced that if you just explained your feelings, he’d suddenly feel the same or realise that he felt the same way, too. You’d opened your mouth to let the words run freely, but he beat you to it.

“I’ve met someone, and she’s totally brilliant and I think I might love her, and that must be an insane thing to say considering I’ve never even seen her face.” You’d willed the broken pieces of your heart together as you forced a smile on your face, ready to listen to the man who owned your heart smile for another, live for another, breath for another.

When Maeve had ultimately passed away, you knew that you’d never be able to say those words to him. You weren’t going to be the replacement for a dead woman, and you weren’t going to push those feelings on him when he was grieving. But you loved him and he needed you, so you stayed.

On the nights where he was so angry with the world that his words were biting, on the days where he said almost nothing so trapped inside his brain, in the hours between dusk and dawn where there was no rest for him, wiping away the tears that fell silently and just being as near to him as he needed.

You had some experience in broken hearts, anyways. You might as well put it to good use.

–X–

It had taken five whole months since Maeve’s death for the team to realise that Spencer was changing. He was still the same person intrinsically, ready to spring into a conversation about absolutely anything and everything that interested him at the drop of a hat, still debating with Penelope about which of them was smarter, still being teased in that playful way by Morgan. But there was a confidence to him now that was almost dangerous in the fact that it was uncharted territory for him.

You’d noticed it first on one of your regular coffee runs. The two of your were so serious about your coffee tasting like anything but actual coffee that you’d bonded over the need for a sweet treat, and had been going for coffee before all of your office shifts almost since you’d started. You were glad to have him finally back by your side, making stupid jokes about how many philosophers it would take to change a lightbulb, and actually smiling and laughing with you that you almost didn’t notice anything amiss.

But when the barista who took his order carefully slipped him her number - something she’d been doing for the whole six months you’d been frequenting that cafe - for once, he hadn’t thrown it away. He’d taken a lingering look at the digits inked neatly into the napkin and quietly slipped it into his pocket. You were confused to say the least, but since that night of your almost confession, there had been a boundary between you two in that sense.

It was almost as if, if you didn’t ask questions about Spencer’s love life, it was like he wasn’t out there, being in love. With Maeve it had worked fine because he’d never met her, and honestly, until you’d started trying to save her he hadn’t brought her up a lot. But now, you were too afraid to break your own heart again to check up on him, deciding to let it go for your own well-being.

The others had noticed soon enough. Comments about a pep in his step, his flirtacious manner with some of the female witnesses. He’d gained a few claps on the back from Morgan after closed off conversations that you had decided you were thankful not to have heard.

Because if you never saw or heard what Reid was doing, and apparently doing with multiple women, multiple times a week, then it couldn’t hurt you anymore than you were already hurting now.

–X–

It took seven months from Maeve’s death to realise that you were only fooling yourself this entire time.

Despite his new-found release, the therapy he’d found in the beds of women whose names he never learnt, there was one thing that you could still rely on with Reid, and that was your Friday night Star Trek watch-along.

You’d mentioned once a few weeks into your job that you’d never seen it before, and he’d had this absolutely starry-eyed look on his face in bewilderment, that when he’d half-heartedly suggested you watch it together, you’d leapt at the chance. Since there was so much of it, here you were over a year later, still keeping to that Friday night ritual. You’d watched it together in motels in the middle of nowhere, you’d watched it together over the Christmas holidays, you’d watched it together in the days directly after Maeve’s death, and tonight was supposed to be no different.

You pulled up to his apartment and knocked on the door, and when you couldn’t immediately hear him shout to “come in” from his kitchen as he was preparing the popcorn, you knew that something was wrong. His door was always unlocked, and he laughed at your habit of knocking on the door, insisting that you could just walk in anytime you needed.

Now that you needed to, your hand seemed heavier than ever. You gripped the cold metal of the handle, knowing exactly what you would find on the other side of the door, but still wanting to live in the clear denial of it. You prayed it was something else keeping him distracted.

You let yourself in and were welcomed with the sight that shattered your heart for the final time. There were clothes scattered across the floor, male and female. Shoes discarded in the heat of the moment. You didn’t want your eyes to follow, but your feet weren’t listening as they walked you to the bedroom door, thrust wide open, and you saw him there finally.

“Shit, Y/N, what are you doing here?” he scrambled to pull his clothes back on, to cover whatever woman it was underneath him that day, to make sure you didn’t see anymore of the image that would be burned into the back of your brain for the rest of your life.

You couldn’t say anything. You knew that he had been doing this, doing it to cope, doing it to move on, doing it to feel a sense of intimacy after he didn’t get that with Maeve. But here was the irrefutable proof that he’d never even looked at you with an ounce of the feeling you had for him. You held up the bag of snacks you usually bought to your Trek marathons as a response, the tears filling up your eyes rendering you mute as you finally tore yourself out of the room.

“Oh god, it’s Friday. I didn’t realise…. I’m sorry, can we do a raincheck, Y/N?” He guided you further out of the room, placing a hand to the small of your back to help move you along. Something in you snapped then and you recoiled from his touch, whipping your head up to him and just staring at him with all the defiance you could muster. He had broken your heart, you weren’t going to let him dismiss you that quickly.

“Y/N, why are you crying? What’s wrong, what happened? Tell me and I’ll do everything I can to fix it.” He finished his words, and made to wipe the tears from your face, but you slapped his hands away from you before he could make contact.

“Don’t… just don’t touch me, Spencer.” Those were the only words you could offer in explanation before you turned on your heel and ran straight out of his apartment for the last time.

–X–

It took one month from you storming out of his apartment for Spencer to realise that he hadn’t dreamt of Maeve in the same amount of time. Where his dreams had been full of her asking him to dance, they were now full of you recoiling from his touch, refusing to speak to him outside of your professional work, withdrawing into yourself and crying. The worst ones were the ones where you were crying because he tried desperately to hold you, to wipe the kisses away, but everytime he tried you moved further and further from his reach.

It had been a month of you ignoring him, and he still didn’t know what went wrong. Yes, you’d caught him in bed with a girl, but you knew he was doing that. You’d known from the start, and he’d known that you’d known, so surely it wasn't just that.

Morgan wasn’t helping him on that front either. He’d explained the awkward run-in in his apartment, desperate for some answers and received some pretty curt replies.

“Pretty boy, if you don’t realise what you did wrong, then there’s nothing I’m going to do to help you. You’re on your own until then.” He’d refused to talk about it anymore.

He’d thought a few times about talking to the girls on the team, but you’d been partnered with JJ for the last month on cases to avoid him, and there was a bond there between the two of you that he didn’t want to overstep.

It was in this confusion that Rossi found him again, taking pity on the boy wandering around like a lost puppy in the absence of your friendship.

“Kid, what is up with you again recently?”

“Y/N has been avoiding me, and I don’t know why. Derek said it was my fault because she… well she walked in on something that I’d rather she hadn’t, you know, and I don’t know why she still won’t talk to me because it’s been a month.” He rambled out, thankful that someone was finally hearing him out.

“If I’m understanding your insinuation here, I think I know what the problem is.” Rossi sat back, choosing his words carefully, so as not to startle the younger man. But he was so worked up all over you, missing your voice, your touch, your company, and just wanting you back in whatever way he could get you that he jumped at the very suggestion of answers.

“Then please, tell me, I’m begging you. I’ve been tearing my hair out trying to figure out what it is and I just miss her so much that it hurts.”

“Spencer, you know I usually don’t get involved in the personal lives of my coworkers, but just listen to me now, nice and calmly - and dont try to interrupt me or say a word. I know what I’m talking about, okay?” He gave a quick nod of his head, waiting with baited breath for Rossi to continue.

“The girl is in love with you. Head over heels, in fact, and has been for quite some time. And she was holding it together real nice until you decided to become this casanova and now she is heartbroken,” Spencer looked like he was about to interrupt, to spew out that that couldn’t possibly be the case, but Rossi silenced him with a look. “If you don’t believe me, you use that memory of yours and you do what you do best. Think about it.”

–X–

For the next three months, that was all Spencer did. He thought about every interaction you’d ever had. The blush on your cheeks when he’d introduced himself for the first time (and refused to shake your hand). The countless nights spent curled up on opposite sides of his couch, laughing and crying together at silly sci-fi shows. The way you’d thrown yourself into his arms after a particularly gruelling case, buried your head in his chest instead of anyone else's. The day you’d finally confessed your past to him, how he’d felt your heart beating as he held a finger to your pulse, hand gently holding yours waiting for you to finish describing the time you’d stared death in the face.

You’d noticed the change, but you wouldn’t let yourself acknowledge it fully. Noticed how he’d shoot you lingering glances from across the room, how he’d look like he had something to say when you announced you were leaving for the night. How he’d ask everyone together what their friday night plans were just to hear you admit that you were going home alone in the company of the rest of the team.

You’d noticed, and god had it given you a spark of hope that you wished would die quickly. You’d noticed, and so you weren’t as surprised when he turned up on your doorstep four months after you’d last talked to him, on another friday evening.

“What are you doing here?” you greeted him, the words coming out colder than you wanted them to seem, inwardly cursing yourself for letting your emotions get the better of you.

“Don’t make me leave, please, I just have something to ask and I’ll leave you alone.”

“Spencer, it’s been a long day, and I just want to go to bed so-”

“Do you still love me?” His words cut you off and your heart all but stopped. Your tongue grew heavy, and the inside of your mouth tasted acidic, knowing that you weren’t going to be able to fully stomach whatever conversation was coming.

“Excuse me?” you spluttered out eventually.

“Three months ago, Rossi said that you were in love with me, and I need to know that if that was the case, are you still in love with me now?” You expected some cold curious look to be gracing his face, but you looked up to see his eyes perfectly trained on your own, his mouth set in a line, a look of stony determination set on his face.

“If I say yes, what difference does that make?” you tried not to spit out the words, but you had no control over the venom in your heart.

“If you say yes, then I am going to kiss you, and then I am going to spend every last day I have on the planet making up for being an idiot for the last two years.” Your breath caught in your throat, and, not for the first time in front of Spencer Reid, you were stunned into silence.

“So, what is your answer?” He looked down at you again, and you started to see the cracks in his stony facade, started to see through to the man who desperately wanted you to say yes, to scream it at him.

The word hadn’t even fully formed on your tongue before he was crashing down into you, his mouth pleading for forgiveness and wrapping you up in him. He grabbed you and pulled you back into your apartment, whispering into each of your kisses.

“I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry.” The two of you stumbled into the space, but he never moved his hands from the sides of your face, cupping your cheeks gently as his lips brushed against yours again and again.

Your legs gave way beneath you by the time you’d reached the open space of your living room, but instead of catching you, he fell to his knees with you, content for the two of you to just sit there together in each other's embrace.

“You’ve loved me this entire time, and I was too stupid to realise that you’re everything I need.” He kissed your mouth, your jaw, your neck, moving his hands from your face to your waist, pulling you in deep again as you desperately pulled away in search of breath. That only toppled you further to the ground, and he came down on top of you again as well, one hand coming up to cup the back of your head so you didn’t hurt yourself.

And you kissed him back just as fervently when your breath returned, listening to every apology and forgiving him with every touch. His kisses said “I’m sorry,” and yours said “I know,” and that was all the communication you needed for now.

He pulled your shirt over your head eventually, and your skin met the cold tile of the floor, a shiver running up your spine causing you to buck your hips up into his. He hissed at the contact and pushed his bodyweight down further into yours, his legs slotting perfectly between your splayed ones now.

“It took me too long to realise, and it has taken me too long to act on the knowledge, but I am not going to let you go again, do you understand?” he pushed his lips into yours again before you could respond, and you clawed into his shoulders as he started grinding down into your body. His hand trailed up your waist to your breasts, pulling them free from the constraints of your bra, as he let his tongue slide down from your neck to your chest.

“I need to hear you say it baby, need you to say you understand, can you do that for me?” Your body burned under his attention, back arching desperately for more contact as his tongue swirled your nipple into his mouth, gasping breaths loud enough to fill the empty air of your apartment. His stiff cock was firmly pressing against your core now, barely clothed in the pajamas you’d pulled on before his arrival.

“Spencer, yes, I need you, I need you right now, please,” grabbed at either side of his face and pulled him back up so he was face to face with you. You initiated the kiss this time, and you could feel your heart soar at the tender kiss he met you with, thankful for the reciprocation.

“Not yet, baby, not yet, okay?” he whispered in your ear, trailing his hands down to your centre and slipping his hand under your clothes. “So fucking wet for me, baby. Just for me, right, baby?” His fingers found your clit, and he started rolling it between his fingers. He worked slowly enough to drive you insane, but giving you just enough relief that you couldn’t complain.

“Yes, Spencer, yes, yes it’s all for you. Only for you,” you managed to gasp out. He shifted his hand after a few minutes, still pressing love bites down your chest, claiming you as his in the most animalistic way possible. He spread the wetness that pooled at your core around, making sure that his fingers were coated in you before pushing a single digit into your aching hole, thumb continuing to draw circles around your bundle of nerves.

“That’s my little slut, so desperate for me, so needy for me.” His words shot through you, and you started thrusting your hips up desperate for more friction with his hand. He roughly pushed you back down, pinning you under him with his free hand.

“No, baby, I’m in charge here. You sit back and relax and let me make you feel good,okay?” His words soothed you, the growing heat in the pit of your stomach fizzing in anticipation. His kisses dropped lower and lower, until he was finally pulling off your remaining clothing and replacing his thumb with his lips.

“Fuck Spencer, if you keep doing that, I’m going to-” another sharp intake as he pumped a second finger in and out of you.

“Going to what, baby? Use your words?”

“I’m going to cum, Spencer please, I’m going to cum, I’m going to cum.,,” you rode out your high with his face stuffed between your legs still, swallowing your loud moans for fear of the entire neighbourhood knowing just how obsessed you were with this man.

“You did so good for me, baby, so good. I love you so much, okay? I’m going to take care of you from now on, okay?” He began pressing kisses to your mouth again, and you could taste yourself against him now.

“I need you so badly, baby, are you going to let me have you?” He started pulling off his own clothing now, removing his shirt and tie, but never once leaving your embrace for too long.

“I love you so much, baby. I’m sorry for not realising before, but I realise now. I was so terrible to you after Maeve, and god, even before she died I was using you as a therapist to talk through my thoughts and fears, but I was too dense to even realise that I was only in love with Maeve because she was safe. I couldn’t meet her, couldn’t touch her, didn’t have the chance to ruin anything I had with her. I couldn't realise that she wasn’t you, that she wasn’t going to feel like you do in my arms. And maybe some part of me loved her, but we were using each other, and I was using her to avoid confronting how I felt about you.”

“And how I feel for you is different. I am obsessed with you, Y/N. I am so madly in love with you that the last four months have felt like hell. I could have emptied myself of all the blood in my body and still my heart would be beating for you. Do you understand?”

You answered in a chaste kiss on his lips, sweet and quick, but as much as you could muster without driving yourself to the brink of insanity getting yourself high on his touch.

“Use your words, baby. Tell me what you want now, okay?” He’d unbuttoned his pants shortly after that and you stared transfixed at the head of his cock poking up and out of them, desperate to see it, touch it, taste it.

“I need you inside of me, Spence, please,” you cried out, tears welling in your eyes at the tender contact, the confession. All the emotions you’d been burying for the last four months bubbling to the surface, dancing around your head as he made you dizzy with desire.

“You’re so perfect, Y/N. I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you,” with the last of his clothing removed he was finally free, taking his heavy,aching cock in his hand and lining himself up with you. With a single thrust, and another confession of love, he gave you what you wanted so much.

“You wanted me like this, baby? So desperate to have my cock inside you?” he plagued you with questions as you adjusted to his size, watching your face for any discomfort as you mumbled out yes after yes.

“Me too, baby. I wanted you just like this, wanted you so desperate and dripping for me that I could slide right in, wanted you like this for me and only me.” He began thrusting then, slowly pumping his cock into you, heavy with each return, the sound of skin slapping against skin joining the ensemble of your moans.

“I love you,” he said again, and with each thrust of his hips, and you responded in kind, matching his thrusts with your own and pressing a kiss into the skin of his shoulders. You were so desperate and needy, so starved of touch and starved of one another that neither of you lasted long. Your bodies were so in sync that as soon as he’d pushed you over the edge for a second time, you could feel him spill himself inside you, filling you completely.

He rolled off you, but didn’t leave you there, picking you up and carrying you to the bedroom. He cleaned you up as much as possible, then folded you back into his arms, holding you again so tenderly that you let the tears flow down your cheeks for a final time.

It was Friday night, and he was here, and he loved you. You weren’t going to let him go again.

[merakiui]

who in the twst cast would peel an orange for you?

riddle - he doesn't understand why you're asking him, but he'll do it.

trey - absolutely. 100% no matter what! trey will peel the orange and turn it into orange juice for you if you ask.

cater - it depends. he might ask you to peel his orange in return so that the both of you can have an orange and take cute selfies together!

ace - no. and he teases you for asking, but if deuce says he'll do it instead ace will snatch the orange and promptly peel it. "what do you mean you're asking deuce? give it here. i GUESS i'll peel it. if i have no choice, but you owe me now."

deuce - that orange is peeled SO FAST. deuce will always peel an orange for you. if you want an orange, he'll buy you ten. anything for you.

leona - if you're a woman or identify as one, consider the orange peeled. if you're a man or identify as one, you're on your own.

ruggie - he'll do it, but only if you do something in return or pay him. his orange peeling services do not come free!

jack - yes. <3

azul - no. :/ if you really want him to peel the orange, you'll have to offer something in return.

jade - YES OMG. he peels that orange so quickly for you. in fact, why stop at just an orange? he'll make you a fruit salad if you'd like.

floyd - yes. if shrimpy wants an orange, shrimpy will get an orange. he'll peel it. he doesn't care if it's messy. and if the cafeteria runs out of oranges, he's tracking down a helpless student and threatening them into giving up their orange.

jamil - no. he'll tell you to peel it yourself. :( although he's willing to teach you the less messy trick to peeling an orange if you ask.

kalim - YES YES YES. he'll buy you an entire orange orchard if that's what you want, and he'll peel every orange for you!!!!!!!

vil - no. :( like jamil, i think vil would also offer to teach you the trick. that way you won't have to worry about getting juice everywhere next time you peel an orange.

rook - yes. you probably don't even have to ask. he'll already have it peeled.

epel - yes!!! he doesn't mind peeling it for you at all.

idia - LOL NO. do you think he wants to get orange juice on his fingers and then get his keyboard or monitor sticky? if you really want a peeled orange, he'll build an automatic orange peeler for you.

ortho - sure! he'll peel an orange for his friend. :D

malleus - yes! peeling an orange is an easy task for malleus. one snap of his fingers and the peel is coming off in a neat spiral.

lilia - yes, but then he'll want to add the orange (and its peel) to his suspicious-looking meal that he cooked for you. ;;; he calls it healthy and hearty, but it looks like the nine circles of hell in food form.

silver - yes! don't worry about it. if you ever need more oranges peeled in the future, please bring them to him.

sebek - no. why would you trouble him with such a foolish task?! don't you know he has better things to be doing than peeling an orange for a human!!!! ...silver peeled an orange for you? well, it would be embarrassing if one of malleus's guards couldn't do something as simple as peeling an orange. he does it, but he grumbles to you not to ask silver and to instead come to him next time.

rollo - you might expect him to say no, but surprisingly he agrees to your request. perhaps he used to peel oranges for his little brother, so he knows they can be messy and tricky at times. don't trouble yourself with peeling it; you'll just make a mess if you keep using such a clumsy technique. he'll do it for you.

fellow - yes, but you'll have to give him a kiss in return. <3

gidel - he'll gladly do it! please peel his orange in return. friends help friends in need, after all.

[multim00n]

Cole dating headcannons

Okay, so first off, you know the ‘the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach’ quote? Yeah, that applies to your and Cole’s relationship

If you bake/cook he’s your personal taste tester, he’ll literally eat anything you make

He doesn’t think before he speaks, he’s def the type to say the most unhinged thing ever and be totally chill about it

He’ll absolutely steal your food

His love language is physical touch and he’s a BIG cuddle bug

He’s a gentle giant, I headcannon him to be around 6’4

He prefers to be the big spoon in the relationship, but if you want to be the big spoon then he won’t refuse lol

LOVES LOVES LOVES when you wear his clothes, he thinks you look adorable in them

If you’re taller then him he’ll literally be so confused but also kinda flustered at the same time, he’ll probably look at you like this 🧍‍♂️

I also headcannon him to be a listener instead of a talker, so he’ll listen to you ramble over face time or just in general because he loves your voice <3

I think he’d be a secret romantic at heart, he 100% buys you flowers at least once or twice a week and buys you stuff that he thinks you’ll like

He’ll also give you rocks that he thinks are pretty or matches your eye color :)

He loves it when you play with his hair while you cuddle, and if you hum he will MELT

He’ll probably get a tad emotional if you hum a lullaby to him while ya’ll are cuddling in bed because it reminds him of his mom :,(

He’ll 100% play video games with you, he may or may not go easy on you, it just depends on his mood that day lol

He’s actually really laid-back, and generally prefers to communicate rather than fight

He’ll listen to you rant about your day

He’s the type to give you flowers and chocolates on Valentine’s Day (he’ll love it if you give him chocolates as well)

He’ll take you on late night drives/flights on his dragon or vehicle

Secretly loves slow dancing with you :’)

He gets a tad jealous if you hang out with Jay too often 😭

He’s suuuper protective of you if you’re not a ninja, he’ll walk you home, and do laps around your house to make sure you’re completely safe

Even if you are a ninja, he’ll still be protective of you, but he knows you can handle yourself, so he only acts protective if you’re in trouble

He’ll def carry you to bed if you fall asleep on the couch or something ‼️‼️

HE GIVES YOU PIGGY BACK RIDES

He gives the BEST bear hugs omg omg

I wouldn’t really say that he’s touchy in public, but he does hold your hand and snuggle up close to you whenever you sit together!

PICNIC DATES WITH THIS MAN OMG 🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️

If you identify as nonbinary or something like that then he gets really defensive about people not using your preferred pronouns/name

He’s a sucker for picking you up and spinning you around <3

—————————————————————————————————————

[world0fmadness]

⋆ ˚｡⋆ ✩ ˚ KMF1

max verstappen x kmfdm member! reader

featuring: kmfdm fans being a little possessive of reader and max loving his gothic girlfriend

faceclaim: assorted but mainly lucia cifarelli

୨୧ are there any other kmfdm fans in the f1 community? timeline is all wrong obviously because kmfdm has been around for years and i know the tattoo part is a bit unrealistic but just imagine it’s a little smaller and just… shut up <3

reading music recommendations: stray bullet by kmfdm - take it like a man by kmfdm - murder my heart by kmfdm

ynln: sweet show in monaco tonight! thanks to everyone who came out, c u again soon 🕷

loveuyn: more hot yn pictures, let’s gooo

> kmfuckmeyn: her eyes in the first picture… mph

maxverstappen ✔️: amazing show!

❤️ liked by ynln

> iluvf1: max, what are you doing here? 😭

> kmfdmsux: who tf is this?

> ynsteponme: why did mother like his comment? she only usually likes sascha’s comments…

> kmfuckmeyn: someone hit this man with a broom until he leaves, i don’t like the look of him

> ynloveme: relax you guys omg 😭

saschakonietzko ✔️: yah… i’m sure you gave a very special thank you to that one very special person who was there ;)

❤️ liked by ynln

> ynln ✔️: you know it <3

> steponmeyn: sascha… who? where? when? why?

kmfdmsux: such an amazing show! can’t wait to see you guys live again someday 🖤

ynln: taking a short break from touring! loving the stray cats in monaco <3

steponmeyn: and the whole ass man? whooo?

loveuyn: who is that? is it trent?

> steponmeyn: we need to be rid of this trend x yn ship, he is literally married

kmfuckmeyn: can anyone identify the hands and legs?

> kmfdmsux: literally, we need to put a hit out on whoever that is!

> ynloveme: we’re never beating the possessive fan base allegations…

saschakonietzko ✔️: ah… wonder who that is with you?

❤️ liked by ynln

> steponmeyn: sascha FUCKING TELL US 😭

maxverstappen and ynln: soon to be mr and mrs verstappen 🖤

loveuyn: oh he came to set the record straight 😭

> steponmeyn: LITERALLY, MY GIRL! NO ONE ELSES

oldf1lvr: IM SORRY WHAT?

danielricciardo ✔️: congratulations mate! knew it wouldn’t be long before you put a ring on her finger

❤️ liked by ynln and maxverstappen

> maxverstappen ✔️: thanks mate, for everything!

❤️ liked by danielricciardo

maxontop: i don’t know who she is but i’m moving this side of max she’s bringing out 🫢

> f1forlife: no but literally! he seems so confident in these pictures…

lovememax: these pictures just altered my brain chemistry… i want them both

charlesleclerc ✔️: you’ll be wearing redbull gear to the wedding i presume?

> ynln ✔️: absolutely not

> maxverstappen ✔️: you heard the lady! no redbull at the wedding

❤️ liked by ynln and charlesleclerc

> redbullracing ✔️: 😔

lovemyf1dilfs: who is this? they’re hot…

> steponmeyn: kmfdm fans 🤝 f1 not knowing who tf the other is dating despite both being famous because these fandoms are so different

steponmeyn: max, what’s your favourite kmfdm song?

> maxverstappen ✔️: murder my heart!

❤️ liked by ynln and saschakonietzko

maxverstrapon: do i need to go back to sleep? this can’t be real right? he didn’t just announce that he’s engaged when no one even knew he was in a relationship?

> iluvf1: well, the other drivers knew…

maxverlvr: omg… this explains why he’s seemed so much happier the past few years…

lewishammy: max… i’d like to apologise, i wasn’t familiar with your game…

landontop: why do these white bread men get the baddest bitches 💔

kmfdmsux: oh that ring is so cute… i still don’t know if he’s good enough for mother but at least it’s cute

> steponmeyn: right? i’m glad he actually knows her personality so well 🥹

saschakonietzko ✔️: can’t believe you’ve actually gotten yourself tied into a knot! congratulations yn and max

❤️ liked by ynln and maxverstappen

> maxvertappen ✔️: thanks sascha!

> ynln ✔️: thank you sasch 🖤

kmfuckmeyn: we lost her to a m*n who drives in circles lol what the fuck

> ynontop: hope he dies ( not really )

> loveuyn: we’re never beating the obsessed with yn allegations…

> maxverlvr: you mf’s are crazy holy shit 😭

maxverstappen and ynln: officially mr and mrs verstappen ln!

comments on this post are limited

charlesleclerc ✔️: best cake i’ve ever had

> maxverstappen ✔️: that’s all you have to say?

> charlesleclerc ✔️: oh right! congratulations max and yn

> maxverstappen ✔️: 🙄

iluvf1: max having a more gothic wedding instead of a traditional all white church one 😭 we love to see it

danielricciardo ✔️: congratulations mate! beautiful ceremony

❤️ liked by ynln and maxverstappen

> maxverstappen ✔️: thanks mate ❤️

steponmeyn: okay… whatever… maybe they’re a little hot together, but only because yn seems to be really bringing out his personality

sebastianvettel ✔️: congratulations max and yn! very nice wedding setting - sebastian

❤️ liked by ynln and maxverstappen

> maxverstappen ✔️: thank you sebastian!

> oldf1lvr: of course the bug loving dilf would like the wedding in the woods lmao 😭

saschakonietzko ✔️: congratulations you two! great wedding

❤️ liked by ynln and saschakonietzko

> ynln ✔️: yeah… you only drank yourself to a point of wanting to make out with all of max’s friends <3

❤️ liked by maxverstappen and saschakonietzko

> saschakonietzko ✔️: ;)

⋆ ˚｡⋆ ୨୧ ˚ NEW ADDED BONUS ˚ ୨୧ ⋆｡˚ ⋆

kids deserve good music

[papaya-twinks]

It's me again (the anon who asked for the Short fic of Lando) 🤠🤠🤠

I'll identify myself as Lia (I don't post openly because I'm embarrassed, but I already consider us great friends ❤️ haha)

About a sequel to this story, I can only say "YES PLEASE" (I would ask anyway 😂)

I was thinking that for the reader's first victory, Lando would be amazed by her beauty on the podium, after taking a champagne bath, her golden glow after the victory etc. And that will make him crazy and very horny for the reader. However, our reader is keen to play with Lando. she will "run away" from him all day claiming to have meetings with the team after the race and at night, despite them being together at the same party, she makes a point of not talking to him and always being involved in a group with more than one person so he can't talk dirty to her or something.

This makes Lando even more thirsty for her but they only manage to have a moment alone in the elevator, returning to the hotel room. Lando wants to punish (not with violence) her and please her at the same time for being so stubborn during the day and so beautiful and seductive, so he gives the reader multiple orgasms with his fingers and mouth. The reader even thinks that she won't be able to get to the part where he uses his member, but she does, and OMG it's the best sexual experience of her life.

That's what I thought for a second part 🤭. I apologize for the length of the text and for any mistakes, I'm Brazilian and not very good with English. (Feel free to change anything if you're not comfortable writing about something I sent).

Eagerly awaiting the continuation 🫶🏻✨

Warnings: Smut, 18+, teasing, kinda breeding

Pairing: Lando Norris x fem!reader

A/N - firstly I don’t judge requests <3, but also, I’ve heard of someone else on here called Lia. Are you alright with messaging me or something? Also making part 2

Lando’s words rang out in your ears for ages afterwards. What happens after you win a race. It was like motivation, a fuel of some sorts, driving you forwards to win. Which is exactly what you did the following week. “And Y/N Y/L/N has won her first Grand Prix here in Canada!” the commentator yelled as you screamed and cheered through the radio. 

As you thanked the team, all you could think about were Lando’s words. “Wow, Y/N,” the interviewer smiled, “what a victory! So close to Lando,”. You smiled at the words, “Yeah, Lando was really close, it was hard keeping him off,” you laughed, “but yeah, a win’s a win,”. Lando congratulated, evidently impressed, his hug lingering a little longer than usual. 

“And in first, Y/N Y/L/N!” you ran onto the podium, beaming as you locked eyes with Lando on his second place step. “Well done,” he whispered as the anthems begun. You held the trophy aloft, Lando’s eyes tracing your movements like his life depended on it, his own trophy limo at his side as he watched you. And the podium music began, Lando was his signature bottle slam, as he immediately sent the spray to you. 

You shrieked, feeling the bubbly liquid coat you, your skin radiating with the golden glow. Lando had to physically restrain himself from falling to his knees right then. You were gorgeous. Oh what he’d give to just bend you over right then and there. “Remember our promise?” he said, subtly whispering into your ear as you took the podium picture. “Might do,” you shrugged, a small smile on your face. 

“Team debrief,” you said, following the man who collected the trophy as Lando watched you, disappointment etched on his face. “After,” he said. And when the debrief finished, you told him you had another PR meeting. “Done, finally?” Lando asked, seeing you emerge from your motorhome.  “Mhm,” you nodded, pressing a kiss to his neck, “oh, wait, I have another meeting,” you said, blinking innocently at him as he groaned 

“You’re doing it on purpose,” Lando grabbed your arm to stop you from walking away, “you’re being a brat on purpose,”. You looked at him, as if you didn’t know what he was talking about. “Don’t give me that,” he said, eyebrow raised at your expression. “And here I am, trying to reward you for winning. Now you’re gonna get punished,” your eyes widened at his words as he took your hand, pushing you back into your room. 

Any of the real meetings you genuinely had were gonna be missed. 

“Lando,” you gasped as he tugged at your team shirt, clawing it off your chest, your baggy trousers coming off with it. “What?” he said, eyebrow raised as he pushed you against the wall, his hand twisting the lock of the door. “Fuck,” you gasped as he nipped at your neck and collarbone. “Feel good?” he asked, lifting your legs up, onto his waist, his hands firmly on you ass. 

Your lips met, a warm, passionate kiss filled with lust and desire, as he moved one hand to your hair, the other one tugging your panties down. “Fuck” he pushed you onto the bed, “you’re soaking, y’know?”. You couldn’t help the whine that left your lips as he threw your legs onto his shoulders, your hands tugging at his curls as his mouth came to your folds. 

“Oh fuck,” you moaned, his lips pressing featherlight kisses to your pussy, your wrists in his hand, your breast in his other. “Lando feels s’good,” you gasped, tugging at his locks, your hips pressing against him as he groaned, pushing you down. He moved his hand down to your stomach, holding you down, his mouth staying on you as you wriggled. “Fuck, Lando!” you shrieked, your orgasm was like heaven. 

He moved away from your core, his wet, warm lips trailing up your abdomen, his lashes clinging together with your wetness. “Feel good, doesn’t it?” he asked, your body shaking a bit from your high, “Doesn’t it?” he asked again, voice more demanding. You nodded, a small whimper leaving your lips as he took one of you tits into your mouth, swirling his tongue round the sensitive bud. “Lando, fuck” you gasped, his finger running through your folds again. 

Oh he meant punishment. You moaned again as his finger pushed into you, your hips bucking into him, his lips still sucking. “Lando don’t stop,” you rolled your hips against his hand as he pushed his middle finger in, curling inside of you as gasped, the sensation was heavenly. “Oh god, fuck,” you felt another high coming up. 

Your eyes rolled at the sensations, cheeks fiery red as you moaned - at this rate, you wouldn’t be able to take his actual dick. “Lando, Lan…” your voice trailed off, filtering into mewls and moans as you felt another orgasm wash over you. “So good f’me,” Lando mumbled, pulling you onto his lap, your body tired against his, “looked so good on the podium, y’know?” he cooed, pulling his own joggers down. 

One hand pumped his length, the other with his fingers deep inside of you, pumping slowly. “Gonna give me one more, okay?” he asked, lifting you up, before letting you sink onto his cock. “So fucking tight, Y/N, always so tight f’me,” he groaned, bouncing you softly on his lap, his hand coming to circle your clit. 

You were already sensitive from your last two orgasms, the knot building up quicker…faster, as his pace deepened. “Lando, Lando, I’m close,” you whined, your head on his shoulder as he bounced you. “That’s it, yeah? Cum for me,” he whispered in your ear, one hand dangling in your hair. “One more, okay?” Lando said, still bouncing you gently. 

You moaned again as he didn’t stop, your body tightening round his as he groaned. “Fuck, Y/N, gonna cum in you,” he mumbled, “gonna fill you up good,”. His words were what sent you over the edge, his thrusts becoming sloppier as he rode out your high for you, before he followed. “Oh fuck, Y/N,” he groaned as you tightened round him, your body against his chest. 

“So tight, fuck,” he gasped, “gonna fill you up, fill you right up,”. You felt his warm, hot cum shoot in this ropes inside of you, his head thrown back, resting his weight on his arms, which were shaking, his eyes squeezed shut as he rode out his high. “Mmm fuck,” you groaned, eyes shut again. “Feels s’good,” you whined. “I know,” he said, a kiss to your cheek. 

[renonm]

OMG HII MASHLE BLOG AND MORE SKDJKDKS umm can I request reader x either orter or rayne coming back from a mission and they turn into a child ( kinda like that one episode where lance and dot became babies hahaja) like maybe kaldo or ryoh drop the reader at their office and they gotta babysit them hehe thank you if you ever take up on this request! ~ ᗢ

> || Orter Mádl x gn!reader

A/N: Hey chat maybe if this gets a lot of likes I’ll do Rayne(after like.. a few requests, trust!!) Sorry that it took so long and it turned out to be shitty lol, uh barely proofreaded, hope y'all enjoy tho

As someone who strives to work a lot, there particularly have always been tasks that mostly have been assigned to you that could be considered odd… There would have been examples now, but it’s sort of the best to specifically forget about it…, which kind of is fairly significant.

Today generally was just like any ordinary day, checking paperwork, sitting on a chair, and remaining in your office for the entire day in a particularly major way. However, this could have been considered the most normal workday you've ever had for the generally entire week. Unfortunately, no.

It was supposed to be a normal day! Till someone knocked at your office door. It slowly creaked itself open, revealing Kaldo, that man who has a weird addiction to honey, walked in. Carrying what almost looked like a baby. Go get your glasses checked. (Do you even wear any?)

“Good day, Mx. (L/N). I, the Flame Cane, Kaldo Gehenna, Have come to assign you with a very important ta—“ “Get straight to the point.” You interrupted Kaldo as he spoke. Another task? Why yes, “Alright, I will… So, please take care of ‘little’ Orter.” The Flame cane spoke in what seemed to be a ‘forced formal tone’. You had easily identified that he was trying to make this quick, perhaps he had other activities for the day But wait, what did Kaldo mean by ‘little Orter’? Did he mean Wirth?

“Wirth?” You asked, but you took realization as you fixed your gaze on the baby, it was Orter. Orter fucking Mádl. The Sand Cane. Mr. Grumpyface. The book nerd. It was him! He got turned into a baby??? HOW???

If there’s something to expect in working at the Bureau of Magic, it is that they can assign weird and obscure tasks that could be considered as “vague.” But if it was for protecting the people, then so be it. For the sake of the people… Focusing back on the current events,

“No, Orter.” The man paused before speaking again. “He got turned into a baby because of an individual move he made on a mission… But, ah, look! Isn't he so cute?” Kaldo poked Orter’s cheeks, sure, he may be cute, but Kaldo may have forgotten that Orter could use 10% of his sand magic, therefore he used it to spray sand on the white-haired man’s eyes, temporarily blinding him. It was a funny interaction, you chuckled. But knowing that you had to take this seriously, you nodded. There goes your free time, but it's for a comrade! And that comrade is Orter…. Yikes…. Okay, maybe you’d want this.

“Alright, I'll take him in, you owe me one though, Kaldo—” Before you could continue, the Flame Cane already left in a rush, leaving Orter at your desk. Now it was just you and that baby. Even being in such a small form, he still glares intensely. A question lingers in your head, how do you take care of babies? Is it necessary to treat Orter as one? After all, this effect only looks momentary. No one knows how long. But what you know is that the black-haired child(man) would not want to be treated as a baby. He is physically 23, he can grind you to sand! But now, he is in what can be considered one of the most vulnerable states he has ever been in, if not the most vulnerable. No wonder why Kaldo urged you to babysit him. This was urgent for the sake of the Divine Visionaries. Losing Orter was a monumental risk. How bad can this be?

Really bad.

Time had passed, and both of you were in a staring competition. Though, you guys were well acquainted or even best friends! Or maybe even more than that. Yet this feels awkward. You have no experience with babies. How does one talk to a baby? “Goo goo gaa gaa???” You said to Orter in an attempt to communicate with him. He stared back. Then proceeds to use his magic to throw sand on your eyes. The pain was minimal, at least. He taps at the paperwork you were supposed to finish. You got reminded! But where to place the baby… Surely now, he was tasking you to finish it. HE WAS GLARING.

There was only one choice. Actually, there were plenty but Orter was your friend, of course, you’d want to spend time with him, even as a baby.

Placing baby Orter near you!!! Surely the chair you were sitting on had some space for one more!! So you carried him and placed him near where you sat at. Pat pat, patting Orter’s head felt quite nice. (Orter may feel the same way but refuses to express it.)

“Stay here, alright?” You instructed to Orter wagging your hand… He’s gonna be pissed once he turns back to normal, WAS IT NECESSARY TO TREAT HIM LIKE AN ACTUAL BABY??? Why yes, of course. Did he resist? Not much, he only sat down next to you peacefully, Damm. You're gonna make fun of him after this.

A few hours in(it's been a few minutes, this is just exaggerated.) and you already feel fatigued after working, glancing at Orter thinking he was asleep and perhaps you can slack off, nope. Still awake. This made you consider your strength. Why are you scared of a baby? well, this is Orter you're babysitting, but by the looks of it, Orter is the one babysitting you. “What uh… Are you hungry young one?” You asked and he nodded no in response, instead, he pointed at your paperwork, ordering you to stop focusing on him and to finish it. Of course you had to follow that.

(If this were to ever be in a modern setting, he would be the definition of the boss baby.)

Okay, this time, it had been hours in, and you now feel sincerely tired. Taking a glimpse at the window, it was already afternoon, taking a small check at Orter, yes! He's finally resting!! Staring back, you can see how Orter looked relaxed by simply getting rest, even as a baby, it felt like it was enough. Working at the Bureau of Magic requires a lot of sacrificing of schedule to keep the world at peace. The Sand Cane was dedicated to that. Even the fact that he somewhat turned into a baby. You had always admired his hard work, and now, here he is. Asleep near you as a baby. You’d love to tease him once he turns back. Only if you’d survive the sand attack. That was for him to settle, now it was safe to slack off. You’ve finished the majority of your tasks anyway, so you relax in the chair, leaning in, closing your eyes as you process your thoughts on what happened today. Whatever, just make sure that you wake up earlier than that cranky-ass baby with glasses. You refuse to get sand in your eyes again.

An hour or two had passed, ah yes, the Excellency(you) had awakened from their slumber. (exaggerated again… lol..) But something felt so odd, that caused you to open your eyes, just to reveal that a coat was draped around you, whose coat was this… Looking to your side, Orter was gone. KALDO WAS GONNA KILL YOU.

“I'm right here,” Orter called, which caused you to look in front of the desk, it was him. Sitting across the desk, yours specifically. What should concern you more? The fact that he wasn't wearing his coat and gave it to you, or the fact that he was reviewing the paperwork you did earlier??

“Oh, uhm. Sorry, I suppose this is yours—” You were about to return his jacket, it felt morally wrong to take it, because…. It's not yours?

“No, keep it for now.” Oh? Orter even insisted that felt odd, yet appreciated by you. It looked like an invite that he was letting you tease him. He looked back at your work and nodded in approval, that was good. At least you weren't gonna pull out your soul out of your body this time. “You have surprisingly done well.” Well, obviously! It’s about time that someone notices your efforts. Who wouldn’t want to compliment you? (Probably Orter.)

Both exchanged gazes with one another, Orter’s grasp on your paper softened, eventually placing it back down on your table. He looks up at you, with a gaze that looks like he’s expecting you to speak. “Ah, uhm, yeah. I worked hard for those!! Haha…” You exclaimed, trying to lighten up the mood, but was met with even more awkwardness. As much as you hate to admit, it was hard to pick up a proper conversation with him. Always so stoic, so subtle… Yet so handsome? What’s there to dislike… Well, probably the fact that you assumed that he was oblivious.

Orter stares at his watch before looking back at you, “Meet me after work, I’ll treat you for a drink. As my compensation.” He said, of course, the person you are, you tried your best to remain a stoic face. One thing about Orter was, he was straightforward. You nodded, “Quite demanding, aren't we? Fine, I shall accept, but you must tell me the reason why you’re doing this—” poof. Orter was gone already? This was the second time that someone left while you were talking. However, you were left with a feeling of bewilderment. He technically asked you out.

Outside your office, Orter remained still. What is this that he felt? Love— was it? He was a man who could mask his emotions well, but his ears were red. He hid it well. Not to mention, he planned to purposely leave his jacket to you, so that you were forced to go to meet up with him. You looked nice in his coat. Enough for Orter to let out a small smile as he visualized the scene again. “Nice,” he muttered.

“My, my, I wonder why Orter is suddenly smiling out of L/N’s office.” A man called out, it was Kaldo. Orter frowned once again and glared at the Flame cane. “You saw nothing.” The Sand cane spoke out in an authoritative tone before leaving. In the end, this was all Kaldo’s planning, to force Orter to take the shield(which turned him into a baby) and for you to take care of him. He knew that Orter was too inexperienced and lacking in romance. He needs honey to celebrate, yippee.

But, it’s a date, right?

[redditreceipts]

As I've seen this monster of a post a couple of times by now, I thought I'd take a look at what this person has to say. Might be some super interesting points in it, for all we know?

Lol good for all these trans-identified lesbians to be rejecting a guy. Or what is more manly than malding over rejection on a dating app? Maybe they also didn't reject you because you are a poor oppressed transfem, but because of your whiny incel behaviour.

OMG that's so good. I know that these women know in their hearts that it's not his to "reclaim". Special thanks to the person who always "they/thems" him, I hope I give off the same vibe of thinly-veiled hostility to every male I interact with ❤️

LOOOL get wrecked that is the energy we want from a lesbian photographer! I also really don't see the problem here. This person didn't even tell him that he is not a woman, he just got told that they don't feel comfortable photographing him.

Yeah good you learnt lol. You are the male gaze these women want to escape from

he then explains how she doesn't take his outing well

"she sounds truly afraid that I intend to be sexually violent towards her" yeah what an unreasonable thought, right? Because no man has ever been sexually violent towards no woman, that's just her being transphobic, right?

I actually kinda like this post, because it perfectly illustrates the hypocrisy of the modern "queer community" and their simultaneous claim to respect anyone's gender identity and women's boundaries. Both are not possible at the same time, and every single one of his examples shows that. I'd just advise him: Don't take it seriously, man. Women having boundaries is not even a personal attack towards you. It's just a stance most women take out of experience and in our view, it's better to be safe than sorry, right? And now please read the room and leave us alone <3

[2af-afterdark]

He Who Was Called Mammon's Son - Day 1

Not a summary. Just random babbling about the event. I'm not saying anything official or even necessarily answering questions I bring up/pose. I just want to go off. Before I start... LOOK AT BABY MAMMON! He's so tiny! OMG! I cannot handle it!

Shall we start with the fact the Papa Mammon is fine as hell and is described like poetry? The man is beautiful and is so pure in his motives to protect and love his kingdom...

He's going to die. Sorry. But we all know he is going to be dead by the end of this event, right? This is the exact kind of event where they kill of a beloved parent in order to motivate the protagonist (Baby Mammon). They even evoked the Lion King by pulling that hilltop scene so Baby Mammon could understand the gravity of what he is about to inherit.

The difference is that Baby Mammon and Papa Mammon face their greed differently. They are both intrinsically led by the desire to protect and to have. Papa Mammon is mature enough to see the kingdom as his family and that he must keep it safe. Baby Mammon sees that Tartaros does not cover the entirety of Hell yet, so he must have more of it... so that he is able to protect more of Hell -- living and dead.

Even Papa Mammon recognizes Baby Mammon is greedier than he is in a way he he never could have imagined, making him the true king of Tartaros (which also means that kings are placeholders until the true one shows up).

*Side note: Are these technically names or titles? Papa Mammon is the king, but Baby Mammon hasn't gotten a name yet, I guess. He's just the Prince. Baby Bimet may not be Bimet either yet. I wonder if, in Tartaros, certains names are titles rather than birth names? Maybe that is true of multiple kingdoms. IDK because Amon was born with his name as far as I can tell, and he's the only devil we've seen before he became one of the 72. Well... Technically Leviathan and Orias too, but they were literally given numbers when they were prisoners of Heaven.

Baby Mammon is so adorable! He is a little puppy who needs extra care and attention because his body is so weak. However, this does raise the question of who is responsible for the underground lab in Tartaros. After all, I doubt Papa Mammon didn't know they were doing such experiments in his own land. The question is if he allowed it, ignored it, or... if it started after he was no longer around.

I wish, genuinely, that devils were able to distrust the way Older Bimet seems to. I can just feel how much heartache is about to happen because of Papa Mammon not sensing how malicious Metatron is. This is a clear example of double-speak. Metatron is making it clear that he shall kill Papa Mammon and take everything from him.

I think identifying that Metatron is (possibly) a former human is important. Humans can lie, deceive, and distrust like angels, but are also capable of acting within their own self-interests like devils. Metatron being a former human, not an angel created by God, would give him the drive, ability, and now power to covet and take for his own self-gain rather than invoking God's name. It also means we can't blame shitty programming for what he may or may not do like we can the other angels who were created with a one-track mind.

Valefor and Eligos are OLDER devils. They were clearly adults when Baby Mammon was still young. Guess that means we can add them to the list of devils who are definitely older than the kings (right next to Gusion).

[thepersonperson]

MAAAAN THESE SUKUNA ANALYSES... THEY'RE SO GOOD... I've always related to him super hard just on first readings as a trans disabled person who is an ambulatory wheelchair user. I'm incredibly violent and confrontational, too. If I could just fuckin kill the people who dehumanize me constantly, I mean... that kind of power is tempting! The way you read him is so satisfying to my brain, and it definitely makes sense in the text as well. Overall I'm just really happy to see somebody managing to put into words what I subconsciously grasped the first time I watched and read JJK. I was literally internally like "omg omg omg they put it into words!! omg!!!" the entire time I've been reading these posts. I can't wait to see what other analysis posts you've made and if there's other stuff for fandoms I enjoy. Thanks a lot for what you do! People like me appreciate it so much.

Oh thank goodnesss you feel this way. Everytime I post always I think of this image.

Thank you for confirming I'm still at secret esoteric knowledge.

Sukuna is very cathartic for me as a character in that way too. He basically gets to act out where I would restrain myself.

It’s funny that you mention you’re trans. At the risk of tipping the scale to mental illness, I think Sukuna is a very gender character. I find his refusal to introduce himself very relatable. He just kind of lets everyone call him whatever. The only time he ever identifies himself is when not doing so could put in his life in danger.

That’s it. “I’m the Fallen/Disgraced One”. I don’t believe he ever refers to himself as a man either. He just uses a masculine speaking style.

I also like how he doesn’t seem to care about being associated with feminine things. The marketing leans into this for some reason, pairing him up with Hello Kitty, which I think is great.

He projects this “I’m too strong to care about gender” aura I’m obsessed with. It might stem from his dehumanization as well. Both himself and other people are not really sure if he’s a curse or a human, so why on earth would he outwardly identify as man? It's not like curses have genders to begin with.

But the moment anyone tries to concretely observe him, like Mahito or Yuji touching his soul, he flips out. That really captures the vibe of “acknowledge my existence, but do not perceive me.” And if you find that relatable you should read Umineko.

Sukuna is on the border of everything, so he reads like an allegory for multiple minority groups all at once.

He’s masculine in his presentation, but isn’t considered human enough to be called a man. That’s very trans of him.

He’s extremely ablebodied at a glance, but his abnormal features make normal day to day life a constant battle. That’s very invisibly disabled of him.

He may be Japanese by blood, but he’s deemed a monster and pushed out from society for not meeting certain physical features. That’s very biracial of him.

[aphidclan-clangen]

you don't have to post this, but I thought it would be funny!!!

Nimblekit: I just scream a lot... I just, scream... a lot

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Goldshine: With all due respect, which is none,

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Sparkspeckle: You know how someone can say “I respectfully disagree”? What about “I disrespectfully agree” for when you hate someone but they are unfortunately correct.

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Shadebreak: I am always up for potential rule breaking.

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Goldshine: Don’t be afraid to make a fool of yourself, I do it regularly.

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Nimblekit: 80% of people are actually ugly because of their face, you know.

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Pearlstar: Trans people? In my clan? It’s more likely than you think.

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Blisswhistle: For the last time, you can’t die of adhd.

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Sparkspeckle: You can do whatever you want forever :D

Stormwhisper: I love you, but that is not helpful.

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Stormwhisper, too nervous to ask for emotional support: Man, it smells like wrongdog in here.

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Gravel: Aren’t you like 5’2?

Firebeetle: I self identify as tall.

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Pearlstar: Every day my joints are shocked and disgusted that I would use them for their intended purpose.

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Sparkspeckle: You can never lose an argument if you say “shut up nerd” at the end.

Icesheep: Yes you can.

Sparkspeckle: Shut up nerd.

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Goldshine: In my defense, your honor, I simply do not care enough.

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Nimblekit: Your honor, in my defense, who cares like omfgggggggg who cares????????? Like come onnn.

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Skykit: Are you a girl or a boy?

Shadebreak: Uhh, well some people aren’t girls or boys!

Skykit: Wow, just like snails...

Shadebreak: ???

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Straight Man: Hey

Titania: That’s enough.

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Lilacpaw: I respect perfume commercials being like, we can’t show you a smell, mind if we just go insane for 30 seconds?

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Shadekit: Hey we are all really small, do you wanna sleep in a pile.

Icekit, Stormkit and Sparkkit: Yes.

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Blisswhistle: “Fuck it, we ball” (Malnourished, heavy eye bags, dehydrated, on the verge of insanity.)

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Goldshine: Evil infodumping where you just tell lies.

Sparkspeckle: Tiktok

Icesheep: 5-minute crafts

Shadebreak: Resume

Stormwhisper: Men

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Nimblekit: I fucking hate the hand that feeds me, I think i’ll do something fucked up to it.

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Nimblekit: Sick injury bro, would be a shame if i added insult to it.

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Pearlstar: I laugh at my own jokes because I am my target audience. Y’all just happen to be there fr.

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Gravel: I wish they sold offbrand cars, get me a damn honder.

Firebeetle: Pulling up in the revolver.

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Shadebreak: When two buses pass each other and the bus drivers don’t wave at each other, like omg... did you guys break up...

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Blisswhistle: I can still crack a joke mid-breakdown, that’s why everyone is lucky to have me in their lives.

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Gravel: They don’t kill the presidents like they used to.

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Berrykit: The LMAO+ community.

Nimblekit: It’s LMFAO+ this is party rock erasure.

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Sparkspeckle: It’s harder than you think to communicate with someone who isn’t familiar with the world of spongebob.

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Goldshine: Pipe down your honor, you weren’t even there.

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Goldshine: JFK?? Like from umbrella academy?? Haha... you know he’s not... real, right?

Stormwhisper: Wait, I though JFK was from clone high??

Sparkspeckle: JFK, as in Jesus Fucking Khrist, from the bible?

Icesheep: Isn’t JFK that fried chicken fast food chain.

Shadebreak: Guys cmon, it’s Jennedy Fennedy Kennedy, you gotta know this.

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Goldshine: Mfs be named “James” and it only be one dude.

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Nimblekit: Does violence have to be the last resort, can’t it be like third.

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Lilacpaw: Free my man, he did all of it but I don’t care.

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Pearlstar: Let me get this straight. Grabs the nearest heterosexual. Now, where were we. (He is holding nobody)

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Blisswhistle: I’m so done with self care, it’s time for others harm.

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Shadebreak: Fun fact. Shut the fuck-

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Sparkspeckle: Nuh uh

Icesheep: FYM “NUH UH”???

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-⚡ anon

Genuinely made me laugh, I love these