#on monday night i have work and i won't have a choice but to stay up all night :')))

[altruistic-meme]

i love subconsciously doing things in my writing it’s so fun :)

[tansyuduri]

Heathers Songs Merlin Version!

Okay so I first posted these in this post but I decided they needed their own post. (I linked videos in the song above) SO! I SAY NO (Arthur and Uther Version) ARTHUR:

You are a drug. You are a poison’d cup

I've got to show my feeling now and stand up.

I craved the love. When you would keep me close.

But you will not be satisfied until I overdose

This is it. For their sake. I am finally awake!

Let me be. Let me go

You need help. I can't provide. I am not qualified

This future king is coming clean. I say no

UTHER:

Arthur , they are-

ATRHUR:

No, no, no, no. Don't say a word

You speak and I cave in. You'll twist the truth again

And drill deep down beneath my skin

You said it was for her. And I believed in you

But you're still using ust o justify the harm you do

This is it. What you make. Call it all my mistake

Long as you let me go

You need help. I can't provide

I'm not here to stand beside

It's not too late, I'm fighting fate

I say no!

Blame her loss. Blame being sad. Blame the life we never had

But hurting people. That's your choice, my king.

'Cause I believe that love will win

And hate will earn you nothing in the end

This is the end

UTHER:

But I love you

ARTHUR:

Father!

This is it. I won't cry. Starting now. I will try

To pay back all the karma I owe

Start again, help those two. Far from people like you

So goodbye 'cause now I. I say no.

Just in time, I say no

Somehow I'm saying no

Just say no

I say no No!

__________________________________________________________ DEAD GIRL WALKING (Merlin and Arthur Version)

MERLIN: The evil king of the kingdom has decreed it.

He says Monday, in the morning, I will be deleted

They'll hunt me down in every hall.

Burn me alive until I fall.

30 hours to live, how shall I spend them?

I don't have to stay and die like cattle.

I could change my name and avoid that last death rattle.

But I can't just leave all my freinds.

Wait, here's an option with better ends.

Spend these 30 hours gettin' freaky, yeah.

I need it hard I'm a dead man walking.

I'm in your yard I'm a dead man walking.

Before they grab me from the stock.

I'm magicin' off your window lock.

Got no time to knock, I'm a dead man walking.

ARTHUR: Merlin? You Idiot, What are you doing in my room?

MERLIN: Shh...

Sorry, but I really had to wake you.

See, I decided I must ride you 'til I break you.

'Cause Uther says I got to go.

I'm drunk and here to let you know:

Shut your mouth and lose them night clothings.

Come on, tonight I'm yours.

I'm your dead Man walking.

Get on all fours.

Kiss this dead MAN walking.

Let's go, you know the drill. I'm done waiting. I've had my fill .

Bow down to the will of a dead man walking.

And you know, you know, you know

It's 'cause you're beautiful.

You say you're numb inside But I can't agree.

So the world's unfair. Keep it locked out there.

In here it's beautiful

Let's make this beautiful.

ARTHUR : Uh... That works for me,

MERLIN: Yeah, Lets go ahead

Take this dead man walking.

Let's break the bed. Rock this dead Man walking.

No sleep tonight for you.

Better Kiss me right down there.

Take me by the rear.

Make this whole town disappear.

Slap me, pull my hair, Touch me there and there and there

And no more talking.

Love this dead Man walking.

Love this dead Man walking

Love this Dead Man walking.

BOTH: Yeah, yeah, yeah Ow, yeah.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------- SEVENTEEN (Gwen and Morgana version)

GWEN:

Fine! You're “damaged” Really “damaged” But that does not make you “wise”

Fine you're “special”, Fine you're “different” But we don’t choose who lives or dies.

Let’s be normal, watch bad jesters. sneak a picnic and watch the sky.

We’ll bake sweet things or go riding.

Don’t you want a life with me?

Can’t we be as a team?

That’s all I want to do.

If you could let me in I could be good with you.

People hurt us

MORGANA: Or they hate us

GWEN: And you’re right, thats full of woe But we let go—

MORGANA: Take a deep breath

GWEN: Then go buy some special clothes We'll go camping—

MORGANA: Work together

GWEN: And convince Arthur to hear us out Maybe moon light

MORGANA: Maybe dancing

GWEN: Don't stop looking in my eyes

MORGANA: Your eyes

BOTH: Can't we be as a team.

Is that so hard to do?

If you could let me in. I could be good with you.

Let us be as a team. If we still got the right.

GWEN: So what’s it gonna be? I wanna be with you

MORGANA: I wanna be with you

GWEN: Wanna be with you

BOTH: Tonight

GWEN: Yeah you've been damaged

MORGANA: Badly damaged

GWEN: But your love’s too good to lose

MORGANA: Hold me tighter

GWEN: Even closer

Morgana: I’ll stay if I’m what you choose. Can't we be as a team.

BOTH: If I am what you choose

MORGANA: If change how I fight

GWEN: ‘Cause you’re the one I choose

MORGANA: You’re the one I choose

BOTH: You’re the one I choose

[asinglesock]

I've been sooooooo nervous about it but tonight I drafted my leave of absence notice for restaurant job, explicitly stating that I need to take a second job in order to access health insurance, and saying that I'll be able to work there again after the training period

and I'm sure I'm currently making inadvisable choices but I do have a job offer and two potential clients so even if restaurant job doesn't want to work with me having a second job I will at least have a job.

I've been so unnecessarily stressed over scheduling. I paid $200 to see a concert with my cousin on the 21st, and requested it off on August 7th but won't have any idea if I'll actually have it off until maybe two days beforehand, if current scheduling norms stays the same. On my availability sheet I wrote that I'm not available Monday nights--it hasn't been a problem so far that they're scheduling me Monday nights anyway, but orchestra is starting on the 23rd and I want to participate! I also wrote on my availability sheet that I'm available 7am-1am, but I've been scheduled for four graveyard shifts this week.

I know that this job (particularly the regional manager, who does the scheduling but has very little interaction with me) has not been treating me well since my latest return. At the same time, I really care about some people who still work here, and I still find working as a server really fulfilling. I like interacting with people for hours on end. I like being a tipped worker. I like that there are so many opportunities to do little favors for coworkers, which makes a convenient structure for making friends

and also from a character development perspective I need to do this to build my confidence and assertiveness because I am. uh. very timid. gotta work on that.

[punksdontgetold]

Kiss Me, Kiss Me, Kiss Me

So, the new chapter is out! It took me A LOT of time to research everything I needed for this, but I'm finally done. Also, the drama starts escalating. Stay tuned.

Here's a piece of fluff for now tho:

Renton wakes up with a mild hangover to the delectable smell of potatoes fried with herbs. The first thing he sees is Simon, standing in his boxers by the stove with a spatula in his hand, humming something that sounds suspiciously like "You spin me round" while giving the pan a good stir.

"Hoo are ye up and aboot this early?" asks Renton, rubbing his eyes.

"Define early. It's hauf past eleven," says Simon as he turns around, "Since ye're up, ye can pit the music on."

"Alright," says Renton, slowly climbing out of bed as though not to spill the booze still sloshing in his skull. "Dae ye remember what time we got back last night?"

"Ah've nae idea. It was definitely before sunrise."

Renton checks the stereo, which is loaded with an R.E.M. record, decides that it's good enough, and presses play.

"Ye're in a guid mood," he says as he wraps his arms around Simon, pulling him close so he can feel the warmth of the skin against his chest.

"I'm no' workin' till seven taenight, an' that's just fur a couple o' hours." Simon leans back into the embrace without losing focus on the cooking. Then, he lifts a bowl of beaten eggs and pours them over the golden-brown potatoes sizzling in the pan.

"Whit's that?" asks Renton, "An omelette?"

"How dare ye? That," Simon points with the spatula, "is a frittata. A family recipe frae the mitherland, if ye must know."

"Mitherland? Ye've never even bin tae Italy."

"Comportati bene, cazzo!" retorts Simon, trying to sound all serious. Renton is vaguely aware that "cazzo" means "a dickhead" or something. The contrast between Simon's thick Scottish accent and his undoubtedly Italian intonation is just too funny. "The recipes o' my ancestors course through my veins; the proof's in the frittata," continues Simon.

"Aye, Marco Polo," says Renton and presses a kiss to the nape of Simon's neck.

After months spent cramming for his Highers, figuring out what he wants to study, filling in applications to universities, and making stuff in essays about how motivated he is to join the ranks of university students, summer finally gives Renton a respite. Now, close to the finish line, the only thing he needs to do is to apply for a student grant from the Edinburgh City Council and wait to get his Highters results back, but that won't happen until August.

Claire said she'd help him, and she knows about this stuff, so Renton isn't particularly worried. If anyone can figure it out, it's Claire. Renton already feels like he's punching above his weight anyway. The exams went fairly well, so he should get a few Bs. That should be enough to get him somewhere, if not in Glasgow, then in Aberdeen, which is his third choice. He also applied to the University of Edinburgh, but not because he wants to stay and study here, but just because why not? It's good to have options.

"Ye taggin' alang taenight?" asks Simon later in the afternoon. He's dressing for work now, after they've spent all day lying in bed, fooling around, and doing fuck all.

"Nah, actually, I'm heidin' tae Claire's later," says Renton. "She said she'd help me fill oot the applications."

"Didnae ye say ye already did that?" asks Simon, fixing his collar in the mirror.

"Aye, those were applications fur universities. I still need tae get aw the papers ready tae apply fur funding so I huv somethin' tae live aff of."

"Fuck, how much paperwork daes it tak tae get intae wan fuckin' university?"

Renton can't hold back a laugh. "Ye're better aff no' knowing," he says, ruffling Simon's hair to mess up his ready-for-work look.

"Oy!" protests Simon.

"I'll come ower on Monday, aye?"

"On Monday? Whit are ye gonnae dae the morra?"

"Claire's folks are away again, so I'll hang oot at hers and hopefully finish this hail thing before I reach my wit's end."

"Workin' extra hard in exchange fur that university counselin', Rents?"

"It's no' like that," objects Renton, "We're mates, and mates help each ither, ye know."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," says Simon. "Jist dinnae forget tae leave the keys tae Finlay, okay? And turn aff the boiler this time, fur fuck's sake."

"Aye," says Renton, and gives Simon's arse a squeeze when he's about to get out of the door. Simon swiftly turns around, grabs Renton's neck, and forces his tongue down his throat.

Sometimes, Simon gets weird about Renton spending time with Claire. It kind of looks like he might be jealous, but that's not it. Simon doesn't seem bothered about them hooking up; it's like he doesn't like them hanging out and being friends. So that's not exactly jealousy, but who knows what it is since there's no way to make Simon talk about how he feels unless you put a knife to his throat, and still, there's no guarantee. Somehow, they found themselves in a funny relationship where it's fine to jerk each other off, but talking about it is off the table.

Simon hangs out with a lot of people and hooks up with even more — maybe not so much lately, but still — and Renton always gives him his space. Although they have been spending a lot of time together, so at times, it feels like Renton has actually moved in with Simon as he spends more time at his place than at his parents'. But Simon lives in the Old Town so that just makes sense.

The kiss is about to turn into a full make-out session, but then someone's coming up the stairs, and Simon releases Renton.

"If ye change yer mind, we'll be doon Cowgate for a guid bit," he says, a bit winded, "The regular spots: Green Room, The Basement, an' mibbe Riverside Bar. Got five grams tae sell." Then he hurries down the stairs without looking back.

Read the new chapter

[nawilla]

So, 2024 has continued to suck.

Hopefully none of you remember exactly why last weekend, the first weekend of the new year, was incredibly NOT FUN, let's just say it involved plumbing distress that led to having to pee in the shower and time bowel movements for when I was at work until it was resolved and I spent a day at work hiding in my office so I could be near a toilet for female reasons. It was functionally resolved by Sunday evening (thank deity of choice) and between bleach and scrubbing bubbles cleanup was emotionally difficult but not physically difficult. (Full cleanup of the whole room is ongoing, but it's the basement, so that's okay).

The second weekend of 2024 is a three-day weekend in the US as Monday is a government holiday (MLK Day). It is also a university holiday which is shall we say, not universal in academia. (I finally remembered why it wasn't a holiday at my alma mater. It was because spring semester classes didn't start that early).

In order for me to take a weekday off of a three-day weekend, I still have to get Monday's work done over that weekend for the rest of the week to go smoothly. While I can choose whatever day I do it on, and it's a half-day's work, not a full day's work, it still needs to get done and I'm almost never going to be able to squeeze it in on Friday. This past week, one of my bosses had a meltdown in the animal room due to bad lighting and him probably needing new glasses. Regardless, it put me behind on my own work, so rather than stay at work Friday past 10 pm (and stand on concrete floors and aggravate my plantar fasciitis again, I came into work Saturday morning, worked a good 4ish hours, took an extended lunch break (got writing done, yay) and worked another 4ish hours to get Friday and Monday's work done, so I could take off on Monday. Oh, the things I could do. Some quick shopping. Laundry. Take N the Cat to the vet because apparently, she was hiding feeling under the weather.

On Sunday I get groceries for the first time in 2.5 weeks (plumbing issues last weekend) and notice I'm starting to cough. A lot. Darn, a cough. Could be my allergies. It's been raining a lot which sets them off, and we are also experiencing a cold snap which leads to me huddling on the couch under blankets and N the Cat, which can result in acid reflux due to my prone position for long periods.

In the middle of the night on Sunday, the unrelenting sinus headache hits. OMG. Ow. This is why I was coughing. The allergy meds probably masked it. Also, I'm less cold all of a sudden, which is not a weather reversal, I have a fever. I finally get a weekday off free and clear and I'm fricking sick and my head just won't stop hurting. Mind you, it's tolerable pain. It's not a migraine. It just won't stop. It woke me up from sleep.

The next weekday I will get off from work is March 15th, the last Friday of Spring Break. I will probably not get to take it off because I will still be waiting for people to get their data in Thursday at 6 pm. The university skips a lot of random government holidays to keep the term going and gives us days off between Christmas and New Years instead.

I am not amused with 2024.

[badwolfweightloss-blog]

1-26-23 Weigh in Good.

January is officially in the books. I posted the results to WW. Here are the stats:

Start 216 Week 1: -2.3 Week 2: -2.6 Week 3: -2.2 Week 4: -3.9 Total January Loss: 11 pounds

That's really impressive, considering especially the binge that was wigging me out was this past week (week 4.) I'm happy that January was a success. February has me worried. I will be at Disney world, and its really, really hard to maintain, never mind lose while on vacation. I know from multiple instances that vacations trigger me REALLY BADLY. I have never EVER come back from a vacation and continued a weight loss program successfully. So, I need to come into the last week of February with the best plan to end all plans. I don't know what that looks like. Maybe set my expectation to maintain for February? (with the idea that I lose the first three weeks of Feb?) It just feels like a terrrible plan to gain potentially 6 pounds while I'm at disney world. (The 6 that I anticipate losing.) its like that work goes out the window.

What are my other options? Stay on plan as much as possible during my work week. That's difficult, given that the lunches are provided and I'm at the mercy of the buffet. Ugh, I hate eating in front of people. That's the worst!!!! Also, I am always afraid that I won't have enough food later during vacations by myself. So, how can I handle this? Breakfast will be eggs. Maybe a piece of toast and some fruit. Stay clear of potatoes. Stay clear of bacon and meat. Maybe substitute out the eggs for a sausage or something one of the days. For lunch, eat the lunch, stay clear of cheese. Try for chickens or turkey - as close to what you normally have as possible. For dinner on Sun - its sushi. Just get a roll and the soup. That should be fine. Get some fruit and pirate booty for the room. For Monday, its Epcot - you know where you are eating. Try to stay somewhat healthy in there. No alcohol. For Tuesday its Hollywood studios. Again, you have ideas on quick service. Look it up ahead of time and try to be reasonable. At least both of those days will be walking. But I can't count on exercise to save me. I have to be reasonable with my portion sizes and meals. Next is Wed. I have no dinner plans. I was thinking of going to circus de soil and getting something at Downtown disney. This is possible - maybe look for something reasonable. Or maybe even a quick service sandwich at the hotel before I go? Not sure. That's a big question mark.

For Thurs, the hubby and kids are there. Its going to be quick service at MK. Again, this is a fairly easy thing to control. Sandwich, take away the cheese. Deserts are a big thing once the family arrives. I might say no to MK desert. Maybe stick to popcorn - see if they have airpop option, no butter. For Fri its Epcot and this is definitely going to be a challenge. Space at night - I'm not staying on plan. i am dining at one of the most incredible and expensive restaurants - I'm having my dinner. This is a lets dip into points day. I may even choose to go non-AF on this day. Something challenging here is that we do not have any reservations for lunch or breakfast, so we have to figure out what that is going to look like. I might see if we can get breakfast in our room to eat ahead of time - low cal bread, eggs should work. Then lunch, again finding something lowish points. Snacks at the showcase would be good. I have to stay clear of the alcohol, that I know that Vincent is going to be going towards. I just don't want it. I want to be AF until space. (and even then...?)

Saturday - ack. Hollywood studios, another reservation, this time at Brown Derby. I'm eating all I can eat again. Possibly another wine choice. That's going to have to be the same process as the previousd day. And lunch, maybe we will find that lunch box quick service. I think there are reasonable things there.

Sunday - last day, and arguably the hardest. Buffet! And not just any buffet - one of my favorite. Ever. Like in the world. Its at animal kingdom, and I just love it so so much. I think the key here is going to be loading up on low cal stuff and then getting small selections of the stuff I love. Which is everything. Ack. Well, this is is - this is the last meal and I would not be eating again till the airport, or something on the way to the airport.

This is not an easy thing to navigate, but all i can do it make the best choices I can. Eat at the three restaurants I want to eat at, and make somewhat healthy choices during those meals. The space one especially, I can enjoy the ambiance and eat reasonably. Brown derby - steak. Maybe a salad or soup sub for potatoes. Buffet - ugh. And that's it. Its vacation. Weight loss prayers, please. And, hey, at least we have january success!

[if-you-fan-a-fire]

"Burwash Prisoners Demand 'Holidays'," North Bay Nugget. May 27, 1943. Page 5. ---- Sudbury, May 27 - Fifty-six sit-down striking inmates at Burwash Industrial Farm believe they deserve the same holiday concessions as M.P.P.'s and civil servants. At least that is one of the manifold reasons being advanced by the returned strikers to Superintendent W. L. McJannet, who is continuing his investigation into the 24-hour holdout of the 56 men which started on the evening of the 24th of May traditional holiday at the prison farm.

"Why Should We?" "Members of parliament didn't work today. Neither did the employes in the parliament buildings. There is no reason why we should have to work."

What these strikers called enforced holiday work; insufficient choice of jobs in the work gangs; more freedom in the cell blocks, and several other excuses have all been advanced by the men to Superintendent McJannet as their reason for the sit-down strike which to kept the 56 men in the bush behind barbed wire fences for over 24 hours without food or water until they finally capitulated and agreed to return to their dormitories for discussion of their grievances with the superintendent.

"The investigation is not concluded yet," declared Mr. McJannet, "a full report will be made to Toronto."

"When they wouldn't tell me what they wanted in the field, and refused to come to the camp to discuss it, I ordered a barbed wire fence thrown up around them and 20 guards placed," said the superintendent. "I visited them several times on Tuesday. When they remained adamant, I refused to treat with them in the field. They were denied food and water they requested. I told them there is plenty of food at the main cell block. You can come there and get it."

The superintendent said he had been called out to the bush gang on Monday afternoon.

Quit Work "Eighty-five men had been pulling stumps near the C.N.R.," he said. "Fifty six of them had quit work and refused to give any reason.

"I said, I won't have anything do with you until you return the cell block. They refused to so, and said they would stay put. I then ordered the barbed wire put around them to eliminate any chance of a mass escape. I returned several times on Tuesday but they refused to come in. At 7 o'clock Tuesday night one of the guards brought me a message and they were ready to talk. I went to the field where they were and ordered them to camp. They came without trouble."

"There was no trouble whatsoever," declared Mr. McJannet. "The men seemed to think they had more privileges coming to them but refused to make their requests in the regular way.

[howl-fantasies]

What would it be gotham!Jervis witha friend who's ladylike with a vintage aesthetic

(Sorry this probably a confusing request😅)

A/N - Hello dear, thank you for your requests (I saw them all and I'm working on them, since I'll be free next week except on Monday, I'll post them!!)

Oh my, it was kind of fun imagining Jervis with his peculiar friend in Gotham I have to say, I hope you'll like it.

--

So!

First things first, we all know Jervis is the epitome of refined - when he's not killing or hypnotizing half of the city 👀.

Meeting a ladylike friend with a vintage aesthetic would be an incredible experience for him. He loves, no, absolutely loves their style and how it contributes to make them a unique citizen of Gotham.

He would be super curious about what brought them to choose this style as well as where they learnt to be the way they are.

Would 100% organise a tea party and invite them in order to ask all the questions he has. The event's theme would respect his guest's vintage aesthetic. A way for him to show how much he appreciates it and wants to share his new friend's passion.

He was a perfect gentleman, listening like nobody else and even offered to go shopping with them in order to extend their wardrobe. He would also be thrilled to be dressed by someone with so much sense of style.

Since his friend is ladylike he would always be on his best behavior. Here too, it's a question of respect and a way to show his appreciation. He wouldn't tolerate any Gothamite, be it a normal citizen or a thug, to mock, insult, or just be rude with them.

He would never hurt someone in front of his ladylike friend, it would be unrefined. But the too large smile he would wear the next day and the missing papers all around the city showing the rude person would be a good indication about what happened during the night.

He would often invite them to the opera, posh restaurants, museum... Just to spend some good time when he's not traumatizing the whole city.

Since his friend is so precious, he would often think about giving them his drug or not. At first, I think he wouldn't do it, preferring to keep them as they are. But at some point, he would give them the choice (not really but for him it would seem like one).

If his dear friend says no, they would never know how disappointed he was. That little fox would just smile and pretend it was all a joke and it was so funny to see how gullible they were. But at his next tea party, he would show them an incredible magic trick he learnt when he was a child. See the clock dear? Do you hear its ticking? Good. Now, you would be so, so kind to pour that little bottle in your tea and drink it all.

If his friend says yes to take his drug, he would stay with them the entire time, just to be sure everything went well with it. Fortunately, they will stay as ladylike as before and their beautiful aesthetic won't change. But now, his dear friend is less bothered by the mention/view of blood and by his not so legal activities. Perfect, isn't it? He always has wanted a partner in crime. And, guess what? They are the perfect candidate!

The two would wreak absolute havoc in Gotham, with the most sophisticated traps. It would be rare for them to directly have blood on their hands since Tetch would create an entire army of hypnotized goons ready to give their life for them.

Jervis would offer his friend to be in charge of all costumes for his deadly tea parties, and the decoration too, if they wish. He would count on their impeccable sense of fashion to revisit Alice in Wonderland style and adapt it until everyone in Gotham is dressed like in his dreamland.

He would be one of the best partner in crime to have in the city, with Jonathan, to be honest. If his friend don't try to cross him, he would be the BFF of the decade, never letting them down if something happened, like being caught by the GCPD or send to Arkham. He would be a total protective yandere for his friend. Or his future s/o? That's for them to decide.

--

A/N - I hope you liked it and it was what you imagined 😗 😂 I really had fun imagining their unique duo in Gotham tbh.

Have a beautiful day/night and take care!

[spaghettificationandpretzels]

The Reaper and the Death Angel Part 6

I'm feeling a bit better now, I'm hoping to do more on this series as well as the Vikings one. The next two chapters will start to line up with the show's timeline. However, the canon divergence will happen quickly. However, I think this chapter sucked.

Part 5

Contains: Talking about unwanted children and pregnancies, talk of children needing loving parents, talks of drug use, talks of child neglect and abuse (one paragraph not graphic), hurt/comfort, brief sexual harassment (it end in the guy getting what's coming to him).

1.8K words

Comment if you want to be tagged in this series.

Oatmeal and kind words.

Jax and Wendy had reconciled. You had become friends with the woman, you could tell how much she loved Jax. You weren't expecting the knock on your door late on a Monday night, it was Jax.

"Is everything ok?" he shook his head.

"Wendy's pregnant."

"Ok, come in and we'll talk about it." You did your best not to sound worried. Jax came inside, shoulders slumped over and took off his shoes.

"Would you like me to put on some oatmeal? I think it really helps when you're feeling down." Jax thought for a minute, then nodded.

"Sit down and make yourself comfortable, we can talk while I cook." Jax looked like he was on the verge of tears.

"I'm not going to stay with her, I've told her I want a divorce." You paused so he knew you were listening.

"I don't know what to do, I'm not ready to be a Father." his tone was becoming angry.

"If Wendy has her heart set on continuing the pregnancy, that's not your choice. However, it's your choice if you want to be a Father." You hoped you were conveying the seriousness of the matter

"How can I choose to be a Father?" He was being short, it came across as angry and dismissive.

"If you don't want to be a Father, you better decide fast. Children don't need wishy-washy parents who don't know if they want them. They need to be loved and adored." You didn't give him the chance to reply.

"Children are very perceptive, if you stay in that child's life and don't want them, they will know, and you will ruin their childhood." Jax looked like he was taking everything in.

"If you do want this child then you need to do right by both them and Wendy by being honest with her, asking for the divorce was just the first step. If not, go to the courthouse tomorrow and sign away your rights." A brief look of surprise crossed his face.

"You think I'm doing the right thing by leaving her?" You considered how to word your answer.

"Yes, I do. You don't work together, and a baby won't fix that. It's much healthier for a child for their parents to be separate but happy, rather than together and miserable." You could see him pick up a bit.

"I just don't want her to relapse because I'm leaving, I don't want this to become another pain for her." You could tell he still cared for her. In a way, he probably still loved her.

"I can understand that, but being in an unhealthy relationship isn't going to help her recover either. You can still be a part of her life without being married to her. If you want to Father to the baby, that's likely how it will go."

"But I don't know how to be a Father." He sounded so lost.

"I think that means you're doing ok, most parents are pretty unsure to start with. If it's something you want, you'll figure it out."

Ding

"Oatmeals ready, I'll go plate it, then we can keep talking. Take the few minutes to think." he nodded, already looking much more at peace.

You returned five minutes later with two steaming bowls and put one down on the table in front of him.

"Why oatmeal?" You gave him a strange smile.

"I don't know how much Sam has told you but we didn't have the best parents, oatmeal was a staple when we had a bad day and needed some comfort. It's easy to make, doesn't taste like much and warms you up; it's the perfect 'I don't know what I'm feeling, but it's bad' food." Jax looked like he understood right away.

"Can I be honest?" You nodded.

"I think my feelings changed for Wendy long before I filed. It's not that I don't love her, it's just that I don't see a forever with her." You leaned in a bit closer.

"There are different types of love, Jackson. By acknowledging that you don't love her like that, you've given her the chance to find someone who will." you gave him a sad smile.

"It's actually very noble, most people would just bail." The look on his face said it all.

Thank you.

"Now, no more wallowing, you've got to figure out what you're going to do. Once the food's done, we'll talk a little longer and go over some things ,and then, you're going to go home, alone, and really think about how you're going to deal with this." His back straightened.

"You're right, as always."

****

You were at the Clubhouse helping Gemma prep for the party that Friday night, it was still late in the afternoon when people started showing up. Jax pulled into T-M on his bike and walked over to you, and his Mum walked away to give you some space.

"I talked to Wendy again." You nodded for him to continue.

"I told her I was done with the marriage but wanted to be a Father for our child. I also told her I would take care of everything and that she could stay in the house, I'll stay here in the dorm until we can figure something out." You were smiling at him, but it didn't give anything away.

"I'm glad you came to a decision, and for what it's worth, I think you're doing the right thing." Jax put a hand on your shoulder.

"Thank you y/n, for everything."

****

The party was in full swing now, most of the guys had paired up with a woman, including Jax. You were sitting at the same spot at the bar that you always sat at, at the edge of the bar, facing the room and the front entrance. It had taken a while to get used to being around so many people at once, but after a while, it got easier. There were a few visiting Sons there tonight, including one prospect who was walking up to your spot.

"Hey there pretty lady. You need a drink?" You held up your glass of water.

"I've got one and I'm driving home tonight." He didn't like your short response.

"I'm just being nice, you don't need to be so rude."

What an entitled dick

To your surprise, you haven't had many problems at these parties yet, you had to tell a few people to 'fuck off', but it never went further.

"You don't need to be here if you think I'm being rude." He stood a little closer to you.

"I think you need to learn your place." You got up to walk away from him, but he grabbed your arm, Jax was ready to jump up a defend you when your Bother put a hand on him, you could just hear what he was saying.

"Just watch"

Pop-pop

The man screamed and went to fall to the ground but you were pulling him up by his chin and speaking into his face, no one could hear what you were saying but he looked scared.

Your Bother leaned closer to Jax and Jax heard a single word. It sounded ancient and powerful and frighting. He looked at Sam with a strange expression and Sam repeated himself.

"It means 'Death Angel' it's what the enemy called her. He's a lucky man, there was a time when touching her would have meant a beating, or worse." Jax was in awe.

You left the man in a heap and walked over to his president who was talking to Clay.

"His shoulder is dislocated, he needs to get treatment, or he'll have permanent damage." Your tone left no room for argument. Clay was glaring at you.

"You didn't have to hurt him that bad." The look on your face would have frozen hell.

"He touched me without my permission, what happens after that is his fault. Are you going to have a go at me for protecting myself?" He looked like he was going to but the other president spoke up.

"He would have never lasted anyway, I'm sorry about his behaviour miss." You gave him a quick nod in acknowledgement and walked away back to your spot.

****

"I'm sorry about the other night." Jax had gone out of his way to apologise to you in the grocery store.

"You don't need to say sorry, you weren't the one doing it." He looked like he was going to protest.

"And you certainly didn't need to time out of your shopping either. I'm a grown woman, I can take care of myself." Jax huffed.

"I'll say, half the guys are terrified of you now." You laughed.

"I can't let them think I'm too nice, now can I?" Jax shook his head in a silent laugh.

"Are you coming to Bobby's party tonight?" He sounded hopeful.

"Sadly no. A rush of cold cases has just come from New York and I'll be cataloguing all night." Jax looked disappointed.

"I'll try and stop by to drop off his gift but I'm not sure how long I'll be able to stay. I hate to say it, but I'm going to be pulling a lot of long nights over the next few weeks."

Jax put his hand on your shoulder sympathetically and said goodbye.

****

You showed up at 8pm, toting a simple paper gift bag. You paused to have a chat with Gemma before walking into the Clubhouse.

"That Bobby's?" You nodded.

"I'm excited to see what it is, your Brother won't stop talking about how much he'll love it."

"Well, I hope he will."

Bobby was sitting with some of the guys, he had a woman sitting on each side of him; he was clearly enjoying the attention.

"Happy birthday Bobby." You handed him the bag and he looked inside.

"You gunna tell me what it is, or are you gunna make me wait till I can open it?" You shook your head at him.

"I have to go back to work but I'm looking forward to hearing what you think."

Jax stopped his conversation to pull you aside before you left.

"Is everything ok?" He nodded.

"Yeah, I just wanted to talk to you for minute." You sat down on the stool and waved with your hand for him to go on.

"Where are you at with all of this?" You gave him a confused look.

"With the baby I mean?" You could see you taking a deep breath.

"You chose to do the moral thing, there nothing much to say after that." He did look satisfied.

"You're just so straight up, it comes off as kind of cold sometimes." You weren't hurt, it had been said a hundred times before.

"So you want my personal feelings rather than my informed opinion?" He nodded.

"I think you've got a really hard road ahead of you and there's a lot you need to learn in a very short amount of time. But I also think you're going to be a good Father, you worry about this is proof of that." He pressed his lips in thought.

"Thanks y/n."

You tapped his knee and walked away.

There's so much more to say

Part 7

I'm still not happy, I'm hoping I start to like my writing more when the timeline starts to line up with canon.

[2small-frog]

hi i almost never request anything but i was wondering if you could write a small drabble about Lasko having a panic attack and Gavin and the Freelancer trying to help him through it?

btw i adore ur theme it’s so nice n calming

(a/n: omg yes ofc :33 i wrote it as either platonic or romantic!! ur choice :] and tysm :DDDD)

character(s): gavin x lasko x reader (freelancer)

reader's pronouns: they/them

cw: panic attack, overworked lasko :(

lasko was almost convinced the freelancer could sense when he started to panic, almost like they could hear his heartbeat pick up before he even registered it.

it wasn't often that he had this much trouble with studying, but recently he was busting his ass trying to juggle school work and all the stress that came with preparing for the games. he couldn't remember the last time he'd gotten more than 4 hours of sleep. he was burning the candle at both ends. with a blowtorch. this was bad.

before lasko could even realize he was hyperventilating, the freelancer had called gavin in to get him some water while they helped him get his breathing in order. their hands were on his shoulders; their voice cutting through his clouded, panic-ridden thoughts.

"hey, lasko. look at me, okay?" he did, his eyes wide and sunken, betraying his stress. he saw gavin in his peripheral, walking towards the pair with a glass of water in hand. he knelt down next to lasko's chair, steadily passing him the glass. he took a greedy sip, his throat suddenly feeling on fire .

"tha- thank you." his voice was shaking.

gavin placed a warm hand on his lower back, rubbing soothing circles as the freelancer sat in front of him holding one of his hands in their own. "we're done for today, okay? we're just gonna rest for tonight. you need it."

"no-! no, no we can't," he protested, almost frantically. "i- i need to stay on top of this work, i can't- i can't afford to fall behind!"

the freelancer shook their head, bringing lasko's attention back to them. "you're not falling behind, lasko. you're ahead of this class right now. you'll be fine if you rest for a few days." they smiled as he seemed to calm down a little, melting into gavin's steady and warm touch. the freelancer continued, voice soft and sweet, “and knowing how much your professor likes you, i'm sure he won't blame you for needing a day or two off."

gavin hummed in agreement as he chimed in, "you've been working your ass off, lasko. you've more than earned a break." the freelancer could see the protest in his eyes being overshadowed by exhaustion. not exactly what they'd hoped for, but either way he would take a break soon enough.

"come on," the freelancer hauled lasko onto his feet as gavin followed behind. the two of them together were able to get him onto the couch and cover him with a myriad of soft blankets and pillows. "we're having a movie night and you're sleeping over."

lasko sunk into the couch cushions, already half asleep as the freelancer and gavin settled in beside him. gavin chimed in, "tonight and tomorrow, we're not gonna think about schoolwork, or your job, or anything regarding the games. we're relaxing, okay?" lasko sighed, finally giving in to their combined efforts.

he would get back to work on monday.

@thephantomslibrary @theodorebasmanov @cryptixmoth @sunberrybush @myanettes @oliveid @bug-likes-monsters @dangergays

[anarmorofwords]

here's my playlist for Alastair too

it overlaps with Artie's (check it out!) to some extent so I'm not gonna talk about the lyrics/songs they included

(some lyrics that are particularly Alastair™ below the cut)

I'll be good - My past has tasted bitter for years now// so I weild an iron fist// grace is just weakness// or so I've been told// i've been cold, I've been merciless

another love - and I wanna kiss you, make you feel alright// i'm just so tired to share my nights// i wanna cry and I wanna love// but all my tears have been used up

demons - when your dreams all fail and the ones we hail// are the worst of all, and the blood's run stale// I wanna hide the truth, I wanna shelter you// When you feel my heat, look into my eyes// it's where my demons hide, it's where my demons hide// don't get too close; it's dark inside

you don't even know me - I walk into a crowded room// everybody staring// what did I, what did I do wrong?// (...) oh, you see what you wanna see// but you don't even know me// (...) You don't know a thing at all// you don't know about the way I am when I am all alone// You don't know about the way I love so deeply to my bones

flares - did you find it hard to breathe?// did you cry so much that you could barely see?// you're in the darkness all alone// nd no one cares, there's no one there (...) did you break but never mend?// did it hurt so much you thought it was the end?// lose your heart but don't know when // and no one cares, there's no one there

requiem - Why should I play this game of pretend?// remembering through a secondhand sorrow? (...) Why should I play the grieving girl and lie// aying that I miss you// and that my world has gone dark without your light?// I will sing no requiem tonight

the village - feel the rumors follow you// from Monday all the way to Friday dinner (...) There's something wrong in the village// in the village, oh// they stare in the village// in the village, oh

heirloom - You try your hardest to leave the past alone// this crooked posture is all you've ever known (...) A million choices, though little on their own become the heirloom of the heaviness you've known // you are so much more than your father's son

broken - that you don't have to hurt, you don't have to hurt anymore?// you are broken on the floor// and you're crying, crying// he has done this all before// but you're lying, lying (...) will you leave or will you carry on? // is your love from before still strong?

in dreams - oh it's a big old place for me, yeah it's a big old world indeed// eeryone is killing me and everything conspires (...) Oh in dreams I have lain in sin// just to be the cracked and the cared for// how can I ask, ask for more?

bird set free - clipped wings, I was a broken thing// had a voice, had a voice but I could not sing (...) But there's a scream inside that we all try to hide// we hold on so tight, we cannot deny// eats us alive, oh it eats us alive, oh (...) I'll shout it out like a bird set free

fix it to break it - I've been pulling you close, but pushing me further/ i've been holding it back, that I see you different// sick of me remindin' you to love me like you say you do (...) and I've been hurting myself to keep you from leaving// i've been wonderin' whether we'll last the season// wish we could've made this work// but now I know that I need more// I wish that I was a priority

i didn't plan it - go ahead// throw your rocks at me// from your little glass house// and then take off running// you're no better than me (...) I didn't plan it// but the light turned red, and I ran it// and I'm still standing

she used to be mine - It's not simple to say// most days I don't recognize me (...) She's imperfect but she tries// she is good but she lies// she is hard on herself// she is broken and won't ask for help (...) Who be reckless just enough// who can hurt but// who learns how to toughen up when she's bruised// and gets used by a man who can't love

feel something - Need to know that this love is real// just make me feel something// Start to feel desperate when I’m with you// leaving’s the last thing I wanna do

how it all works out - Goodbye always starts with hello// that's why I don't trust anyone that walks through the door (...) Hello always ends with goodbye// how would I know this time's not different if I don't even try?// yeah, make believe is fun sometimes// so i'll just keep pretending this will end on a good note// but it's not a good note, it's never a good note// but I'll keep my eyes closed

survivor - You thought I couldn't last without you// but I'm lastin'// you thought that I would die without you// but I'm livin'// I'm a survivor// im not gon' give up

boyfriend -young heart, oh what a waste// especially for such a pretty face, now// I don't wanna be your boyfriend// when you need a little company// i don't wanna be your boyfriend, no// when there's not another phone to ring

guilty - Oh I'm a guilty one// and know what I have done// yeah, I'm a troubled one// and I won't be forgiven// I was just a kid// that you could not forgive// because it's harder

weight of the world - my mind's such a mess// I can't handle it// i'm at the end of my rope// i'm so sick of this (...) I don't like, like myself very much// despite all your kind words (...) these thoughts won't rest// ican't forgive// I overthink until I'm sick

human - I can hold my breath// I can bite my tongue// i can stay awake for days// if that's what you want// be your number one (...) And I crash and I break down/// your words in my head, knives in my heart// you build me up and then I fall apart// 'cause I'm only human

[hyunjin-bun]

The  Good Mistake {Bokuto x Akaashi and Kuroo x Kenma}

synopsis: Where Akaashi and Bokuto have to come to terms with how they feel and Kuroo and Kenma have to discover their feelings.

pairings: Bokuto x Akaashi and Kuroo x Kenma

genre: FLUFF! (or at least trying to be) crack (but like it wasn’t supposed to be that’s just what happened) mutual pining some light angst here and there.

warnings: Swearing if there are anymore you think i should add just dm me.

note: oh my god guys. Idk what to tell you just that this chapter is MASSIVE. Its over 4k words😲 and not my intention but i just couldn't find it in my heart to split this one up. Uhm so its the second last chapter and I’m honestly really proud of this one so hopefully ya’ll like it👀

If you’d like to be tagged just send me an ask (or a message if you feel to awkward with asks cos same👀💛) Enjoy!💕

I Missed You

Kuroo woke up with a start as his alarm on his phone blared. It was Monday and time to get ready for work. Turning around to switch his alarm off he remembered Kenma breaking down in his arms last night. And looked back to his other side and saw Kenma right where he’d left him. His eyes, although closed, were still puffy around the edges.  Otherwise, he seemed peaceful.

It made Kuroo’s heartbreak because he knew how important last night was for both of them but he wouldn’t be able to spend the day with Kenma. He didn’t want to wake him up but also didn’t want to leave without a word. He carefully untangled himself and walked towards Kenma’s pc, which was still on. He opened a new document and typed out a note knowing Kenma would go to his computer first.

I don’t know when you’ll wake up but I will most likely be at work when you do, and I felt that leaving without saying anything would be wrong. But Kozume, I will try to get home as soon as possible this evening because I really feel that I need to talk to you. So be ready at about six and we can go out tonight like we used to. See you then.

,Tetsurou  <3

After finishing the note, he got up, grabbed his phone, and closed the room as quietly as possible.

Only to walk straight into Bokuto. “Jesus Bo,” he whispered harshly while reeling back slightly. He let out a sigh as he closed his eyes rubbing the sleep off his face. “Wow, I’m sorry I have to go to practice early. Where you with Kenma the whole night, what happened?” Bokuto said with a questioning look.

He wouldn’t have been so curious if Kuroo hadn’t confided in him all the emotions he had been feeling for Kenma that one night the both of them got unnecessarily drunk and the other two boys had gone to bed early. “No no nothing happened we just haven’t spent a lot of time with each other recently so we watched some movies and caught up that’s all,” he said as he walked passed Bokuto to go get ready in his room.

Bokuto caught put his hand on his shoulder to keep him from moving further, “Look Kuroo, I have a feeling that you should say something to Kenma. I’m sure you’re scared of what it would entail between the two of you but you gotta take that leap bro.” Kuroo looked back at him and nodded slowly, “Thanks Bo, I’m thinking about it.” He started walking away as he remembered what he would be doing that evening. “Oh and I’ll be taking Kenma out tonight after work so we probably won't be home until quite late.”

Bokuto smiled at that, “That’s great dude! Okay well, I’m taking Keiji out for dinner tonight so we’ll probably be leaving the house after you fetch Kenma.” Kuroo nodded thanks and went to take a quick shower. He then grabbed his bag as well as all the documents he needed and left for work hoping that his day wouldn’t be too long.

<----->

The sun was fully up and shining intensely through his window when Kenma woke up. The air around him felt empty as he noticed the absence of Kuroo. He sat up as he remembered it was Monday so he probably woke up early to leave for work. He flopped back down onto his bed breathing in the scent of Kuroo mixing with his. It was intoxicating and sweet and he instantly missed the warmth that was next to him not so long ago.

His eyes felt heavy and he had a slight headache.  It had been an exhausting evening the night before trying to keep himself from doing anything stupid with Kuroo but he broke in the end and nearly fucked it up. After touching Kuroo’s face causing him to wake up, he panicked and just broke down, but even then, as he was falling apart, Kuroo held him and it felt like all the pieces of the puzzle that made up Kenma were glued together. He felt safe in Kuroo’s arms. Safer than he’d ever felt.

Deciding that maybe taking a shower would help with the slight headache and the puffiness of his face he got up slowly. He looked toward his pc and noticed a document open. He didn’t remember opening one the night before so he went towards it and noticed a short paragraph, it was from Kuroo.

He read the note over and over again and kept freezing at the heart Kuroo put after his name. He wanted Kenma to be ready at six so they could go out and talk. What could Kuroo possible want to talk about tonight?

Kenma started to get worried and figured Kuroo had realised what the problem was and was just trying to find a way to let him down easily. The time was 12 pm so he had a few more hours to psyche himself up for what was going to happen. 

<----->

The day moved agonizingly slow for Kuroo, but finally, after he finished some filing his boss said it was okay for him to go at ten to six. Kuroo groaned in frustration as he got into his car. It took 15 minutes to get back to their apartment, that’s if he was lucky and there was no traffic. As he got onto the highway he switched his radio on to have some music in the background to calm his nerves at least a little. He thanked his lucky stars as he saw there was no traffic.

He looked at his watch and noticed he was five minutes late already so opting to not make Kenma wait any longer than he had to he decided against going inside to change. He loosened his tie and threw it into the back of his car and unbuttoned the first few buttons of his shirt which helped cool him down while his heart raced a mile a minute.

He pulled up in front of their apartment building but there was no sign of Kenma. He hadn’t messaged him or gotten confirmation if he even wanted to go or not so he decided to send him a message.

Kuroo: Hey, I’m waiting outside. Do you wanna go out tonight? It's okay if you don’t

His palms started sweating as he expected Kenma to say no. He sighed with relief as a notification popped up.

Kenma: I do, I’m coming.

His response was short and simple but it made Kuroo’s stomach burst with butterflies. He smiled and couldn’t stop. He put his phone into the console and got out to stretch his legs for a couple of seconds and take off his blazer.

He heard the buzzer of the door to the building and looked up to see Kenma stumbling down the steps towards the car.

Kenma looked up at him looking almost defensive. Kuroo smiled at him hoping to ease him up a bit, “You ready to go Kenma?” Kenma looked at him almost annoyed, “I’ve been waiting since six so I guess so.” He said as he opened the car door and Kuroo laughed at the playful rudeness.

Kenma hopped into the passenger seat and Kuroo got into the drivers. “Okay so, what do you wanna do first?” he said as he buckled his seat belt.

“I thought you had something already planned,” Kenma looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

“I mean, I don’t I kinda just wanted to do things you want to I guess,” Kuroo said as he shrugged his shoulders.

Kenma sighed as he put his legs up on the dash, “Okay well, I’m kind of hungry I guess.” Kuroo praised his choice because he was practically starving; the last time he ate was a quick sandwich he bought from the café down the road from his work.

Starting the car, he drove to their favourite restaurant, which was not very far from where they stayed.  As they got out of the car it gave Kuroo a moment to notice Kenma’s appearance, he was wearing an obnoxiously bright yellow hoodie and black sweatpants. His hear was tied back in a low messy bun. Some strands of hair were too short to fit so they just hung loosely and almost angelically framed his face.

It was a bit chilly out so Kuroo grabbed the spare sweater he kept in his car. Now he looked somewhat less formal.

Kenma shivered as the walked up the path to the restaurant. He almost thought that the air around them would be awkward and uncomfortable but as per usual with Kuroo he somehow managed to put Kenma at ease. Every time.

This time it was the smile he got from Kuroo as he walked to the car earlier. It relieved some of the anxiety that had started to build up in the pit of his stomach. They got a booth almost at the back of the restaurant and Kenma couldn’t help but feel like he was on a date with Kuroo but he knew it was anything but that.

It felt very private sitting where they were sitting. Kenma liked it like this. He watched as Kuroo sat down and opened the menu to pick something. Kenma mirrored him even though he knew what he’d be getting. They ordered their drinks and food at the same time and the waiter left.

Kuroo put his elbows up on the table and balanced one hand under his chin looking at Kenma, “You wanna talk about what happened last night or not now?” Kenma placed his hand on the table trying to seem more open. He didn’t want Kuroo to think he’d keep being defensive. “I don’t think I’m quite ready to talk yet Tetsu.”

Kuroo huffed out a small chuckle and smiled at him, “That’s okay we can build up to it, what did you do today?” Kenma started to relax as he recounted probably his most boring day ever. He wasn’t really in the mood to stream because he knows his fans would have noticed how anxious he was and he wasn’t up to answering the questions they would throw at him so he’d basically sat and played games.

Kuroo looked almost sympathetic, “Why didn’t you feel up to streaming?” Kenma shrugged, “I don’t know, I guess it’s the same reason for last night.” Kuroo nodded and was about to say something when the waiter arrived with their order. While eating he listened carefully as Kuroo told him about how boring his day was too and how it went by so slowly because he was looking forward to tonight. This surprised Kenma. What was Kuroo so excited about?

He decided asking won't kill anyone except maybe his will to live. “Wha-Kenma why wouldn’t I be excited? We haven’t hung out like this in a long time and well,” he paused and couldn’t help the blood rush up to his cheeks, “Well I missed you Kenma.”

Kenma was taken aback at how forward Kuroo was being. Of course, they’d been forward with each other in the past about certain small things but never about each other. He felt a glimmer of hope in his heart at this.

Kuroo was worried if he’d said too much because of the look of surprise on Kenma’s face. Kenma looked down at his food and mumbled just loud enough for Kuroo to hear, “Well I’ve missed you too.”

Kenma looked back up to see Kuroo practically beaming, and Kenma couldn’t help but smile at him in return as his ears burned. They continued to eat in comfortable silence.

Kenma was nearly finished with his sushi when Kuroo asked what he wanted to do next. “Mmn no I chose the first thing, it's your turn now,” Kenma said after gulping the last bit of food down. Kuroo just smiled at him, “okay fine.” He didn’t say anymore and asked for the bill.

After paying they went to the car and Kenma stopped before opening the door. “Okay, where are we going Tetsu?” The man supported a mischievous grin on his face while shaking his head, “You’ll have to see when we get there Kenma.”

Kuroo drove for about 10 minutes and suddenly they were in the heart of the city. He parallel parked on the side of the street and looked at Kenma “You ready?” “Kuroo I don’t even know what I’m supposed to be ready for,” Kenma said incredulously. “Come on then,” Kuroo said as he stepped out of the car.

Kenma followed suit and shuffled closer to Kuroo when he walked around the car. It was busy in the city. Not as busy as it would be on a weekend but close enough. “Hold my hand so you don’t lose me?” Kuroo said, observing the fact that Kenma was becoming reserved at the sight of all the people walking around.

Kenma looked up at Kuroo with his eyes wide, “uh-uhm, you want to hold my hand?” he said as his face gradually got hotter. “Well yeah so I don’t lose you in the crowd,” he noted as he held out his hand for Kenma to take. Kenma hesitated long enough for Kuroo to think it was too much but Kenma took his hand. Holding Kuroo’s hand is everything he felt it would be and more. His hands were surprisingly soft and of course bigger than his.

Kuroo tried his hardest to hide the blush that had wound its way to his cheeks when Kenma took his hand. He had to remind himself that he used the excuse of not losing Kenma in the crowd of people and that they aren’t just like all the other couples he’d noticed walking around.

He led Kenma down one of the many alleys and stopped in front of a shop with lots of bright colours and lights. It was a game store he was told about by one of his colleagues at work and instantly thought about taking Kenma there. He wanted to do it for their first date but obviously, he hadn’t asked Kenma out.

He looked down at Kenma expectantly and his breath hitched when he saw how the lights reflected against his skin and how the lights made his eyes seem especially bright. “Tetsu how did you find out about this place it's beautiful,” Kenma said looking through the window at all the shelves and things on the walls.

“Beautiful,” He mumbled still looking at Kenma. Kenma turned to look at Kuroo, “What?” The sudden eye contact threw Kuroo out of his trance and he looked dowm, “Uh, yeah so one of my colleagues who is like 70 years old was telling me about his grandkids favourite store and its uh, this one.” Kenma just nodded and looked back through the window, “Well can we go in?”

Kuroo laughed and looked into the store too, “No of course not I just felt like making you look into your version of heaven and then drag your ass back home, seriously Kenma, of course we can.” Kenma gave him a small smile and pulled him into the store.

Stepping into the store was a big relief to Kenma because he was able to get out of the crowded and loud streets. There weren’t a lot of people inside the store maybe about 7 including him and Kuroo. The walls and ceiling were black and they had blue and red lights on either side of the room. There were posters all over the walls showing the new releases and life-size figures of characters were dotted here and there.

Kenma realised he was still holding Kuroo’s hand and let go thinking it wasn’t necessary anymore. Kuroo’s expression was unreadable as he let go. He was smiling but his eyes seemed to convey something different. He walked further into the store running his hands along the shelves, Kuroo watched him for a couple of seconds before following after him slowly. His hand felt empty without Kenma’s hand in it and he yearned to satiate his need for the feeling of Kenma’s skin against his.

They walked around and talked in the store until the owner said he’d be closing in 15 minutes. So Kenma quickened his pace and grabbed things he saw that he wanted to get. Kuroo was following him until he stopped and saw something that he wanted to get for Kenma.

It was a small pendant of one of the cats from Animal Crossing who Kuroo remembers was very similar to Kenma. They were both lazy and both would do activities if told they could get something like food out of it and just his general feel about him was very Kenma-ish. He smiled as he took the pendant off the shelf.

“Are you coming Kuroo?” he heard Kenma call for him. He looked up and Kenma had finished paying and was waiting for him by the door. “Oh yeah, I’m coming just wait for me there.” He replied as he gave the chain to the man at the register so he could pay for it. He declined a packet and slipped the chain into his pocket and thanked the cashier.

He and Kenma left the shop back into the street which had calmed down a bit so there were not as many people. Kenma looked up at Kuroo as they started to walk back to the car, “Hey thank you for tonight. I really enjoyed myself Tetsu.” Kuroo nodded and smiled in response, “I’m glad, and you seemed happier too.”

He then thought of an idea remembering what Bokuto had said to him that morning, “But, we aren’t done yet,” he said as he stopped in his tracks. Kenma stopped midstride and turned to look at him. “What do you mean, what else do you want to do?”

Kuroo then continued walking with a grin on his face. “Wh-what’s up with all these surprises Tetsu.” He grumbled as he followed Kuroo. Once they were back in the car Kuroo put the heater on as the temperature dropped a bit and his sweater was not nearly warm enough. He started to drive leaving the city and Kenma hooked up his phone to the cars speaker system to play some music that he liked.

Kuroo actually preferred listening to whatever Kenma played because he had a wider variety of genres that he listened to so he could go from hardcore rap to the softest and romantic music you could find yourself listening to. His favourite was a song called carry you by Ruelle which Kenma started to play.

He found himself humming along to the words and feels them resonate through the way he was feeling about Kenma at that moment. He stopped at a spot that was halfway up a mountain but had a beautiful view of the city. He stopped the car but kept it on to let the song play through until it ended.

Kenma looked out onto the view with wonder. He wasn’t the kind of person to travel much even if it was just down the road and even then he didn’t take much notice of the scenery around him. He pulled his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them. “Wow, Tetsu. This is…” he let out a huff as he smiled obviously speechless, “why did you bring me out here though?”

Kuroo continued to look out the window with determination. He had to go through with this. He couldn’t just keep himself from finding out what would happen. He was scared but it had to be done. “I have to confess something to you Kenma. I can’t keep it inside anymore it’s not fair to me or you.”

Kenma instantly felt a cold feeling wash over him. He knew what was coming and could feel his eyes start to burn as the tears threatened to flow. He tried to remain calm though. This needed to happen. No matter how much it hurts him it's necessary. He braced himself for the rejection.

Kuroo turned to look at Kenma but couldn’t see what was happening on his face as he was facing away. So he took that leap, “I think I’m in love with you Kenma.” As he said this he saw a tear roll down Kenma’s face.

Kenma whipped his head to the side so he could look at Kuroo, the look of absolute surprise very evident on his face. His jaw dropped open in complete disbelief. “What! is it that surprising?” Kuroo said. Kenma tried to regain his composure, “Tetsu are you sure?” he couldn’t believe what was coming from Kuroo’s mouth. Kuroo raised his eyebrow at him, “What do you mean ‘am I sure’ Kenma I’ve never been more sure about anything in my life.”

Kuroo couldn’t quite read the emotions on Kenma’s face but he knew they weren’t bad. Maybe he had nothing to worry about?

Kenma moved so he could sit facing Kuroo directly, “Jesus Tetsurou I-well I love you too.” He looked as if he was close to tears as his gaze found its way to Kuroo’s. It was Kuroo’s turn to be surprised and he instantly smiled and looked down as if he was embarrassed about it.

Kenma rubbed his eyes to get rid of the tears that had threatened to fall not even minutes before. Kuroo looked back up again, “Is that what’s been bothering you lately?” Kenma laughed as he sniffed. Kuroo was oblivious but he wasn’t a complete idiot. “Yeah actually I wanted to talk to you about it but I was too scared that it would mean losing you and I don’t think I’d be able to handle that.”

Kuroo looked at him with a serious expression on his face. “So are you okay now, since it’s in the open?” Kenma nodded his head with a small smile. Kuroo lifted his hand to push back some hair that had fallen into Kenma’s face and he kept it there as he moved closer, his eyes keeping Kenma’s locked into place “May I kiss you Kenma?” Kenma nodded as he moved closer.

Kuroo cupped Kenma’s face between both his hands and lightly grazed his thumb over his cheekbone. Slowly he brushed his nose against Kenma’s and pressed their lips together as softly as he could to test out the waters to make sure he was completely okay with this. Kenma leaned more forward as he wrapped his arms around Kuroo’s neck and tangled his hands in his hair.

He sighed as Kuroo deepened the kiss, their lips moving in sync with each other. Kuroo bit Kenma’s bottom lip softly earning himself a small moan from him. Needing air, they pulled away from each other but Kuroo kept his forehead pressed against Kenma’s.

“God I’m so sorry I didn’t say anything sooner.“ He huffed out with a laugh and continued, “will you go out with me. On a date next time?” Kenma opened his eyes and smiled, “Yes Tetsu.” Kuroo giggled and kissed him again longer this time. After what felt like hours they untangled from each other but still stayed close.

“Oh I meant to ask you Tetsu, what did you get from the store earlier?” Kenma asked with a curious look on his face. Kuroo blanked for a second before remembering, “Oh shit, yeah. Well, remember when you introduced me to Animal Crossing and I told you my favourite villager in your village was that lazy cat named Bob?”

Kenma nodded, “It was actually because he reminded me of you. And when I walked past one of the stands earlier I saw this.” He reached into his pocket and brought out the chain with the pendant on it. “So I wanted to buy it for you.”

Kenma looked down at the chain hanging between them. He looked at Kuroo and smiled, “This may be the cutest thing anyone has ever gotten me Tetsu, thank you.” He took the chain from Kuroo and slipped it over his head holding the pendant of the lazy purple cat in his hand.

Kenma grabbed his phone to play music through it and they sat together listening to love songs that somehow deepened the already ocean depth love they had for each other.

Tagging: @gabbywubby  @shou-kunn @super-noya @thequeenofpotatoeunicornss @pudding-head-kenma @thirsthourdemon @thesecretlifeoflilly

[lynenspray]

summit

summary: joohyun, the chairperson of the board, makes time out of her busy schedule to visit and check in on the CEO of the company.

(yerene, mommy kink, slight bondage, exhibitionism)

*yerene path for the CEO!yerim verse

***hoejangnim = chairperson of the board

---

joohyun taps her fingers against the file on her lap. she had looked over the same sheets again and again for over three hours now, the clock on yerim's desk showing that it was half past eight in the evening. not that joohyun couldn't tell from the night outside, seen through the large windows beside her. 

she sighs. yerim is a brat for keeping her waiting, but she always does her best with every task, so joohyun can't really fault her for having her priorities straight. the report on her performance this week shows how dedicated the younger woman was to her company.

her gaze lifts from the papers at hand when the door clicks open, yerim stepping inside and leaving the entrance slightly ajar. it takes the younger woman a second before she noticed that joohyun was seated on her chair.

"oh! hoejangnim. I've kept you here so late," yerim mentions, her tone apologetic but not explicit about it. "I was in a meeting at the bottom floor."

joohyun tilts her head, humming before leaving the weekly report on yerim's large desk, getting up from yerim's chair, walking around yerim's office. everything here belongs to the young prodigy, even the view. 

"was it about the station X project?" joohyun asks, casually looking at the collection of books along the wall. the dim mood lights of the younger woman's office made a good ambience for reading, but that's not what joohyun had in plan tonight after being disrespected like this.

"yes. we decided to scrap it," yerim replies, tone nonchalant.

joohyun nods, focusing on the conversation at hand. she can give her hell later. "the market predictions for that venture suddenly took a turn, so it was the right decision. I expect similar news about it this coming monday."

the younger woman nods. "yes, hoejangnim. I expect the same."

"and it looks like the acquisition of KSG is finally bearing fruit. the results in that sector looks good so far, and data shows that it's going to keep that way for at least another six months. did you predict this when you decided to buy them out?" 

"yes, hoejangnim."

"then I'll mention it to the board during the next quarterly meeting. your performance has been consistently excellent, even by our standards."

"I'm happy to be part of the success of the company."

"but," joohyun says, clicking her tongue. the younger only gives her a questioning look as she turns to the wall. 

the older woman flips through a random book before placing it back in the bookshelf, preoccupying herself before having to confront the CEO on her attitude towards her, the chairperson on the board that's keeping the CEO in her position in the first place. 

"none of that is enough to merit your behavior, such as making me wait on you for three hours." she turns to see that the CEO's face remains expressionless. "don't you think, CEO-nim?" 

a few seconds pass before yerim replies with, "I agree, hoejangnim."

joohyun eyes her. the younger woman's body was stiff, and her eyes stared straight ahead, but the line of her lips looked unsteady. joohyun walks closer until she comes face to face with the CEO, seeing bags under her eyes and a trickle of sweat dripping down her forehead. joohyun hums, moving even closer, watching yerim's face flush at their proximity. 

"that has repercussions, don't you agree?" 

"I… I agree, hoejangnim. I accept any punishment you deem fitting for slighting you.”

joohyun scoffs. of course she accepts. she has no other choice but to. anything and everything uttered out of joohyun’s mouth was law, especially when it came to yerim. “it seems you’ve forgotten just who’s in charge here, yerim-ah.” she lets her breath linger along yerim’s jaw, watching the skin in front of her heat up with a blush as she says, “should I remind you?”

yerim’s voice cracks into a whine when she replies next, and joohyun hides a smirk at the desperate look in yerim's eyes. “yes.”

joohyun unbuttons the cream blazer of the younger woman. it looks like yerim didn't even bother putting on anything else under her jacket, joohyun's fingers meeting only skin and her bra. 

"yes, what, yerim-ah?" 

she hears the younger swallow hard before letting out a shaky sigh as joohyun's hands slip under her bra and circle her stiffening peaks. "yes, mommy."

joohyun retracts her hands. "good. now strip."

the younger woman holds back an obvious whimper. she must be disappointed that she has to peel her clothes off herself–joohyun usually did it herself, after all. with her hands. her teeth. her gaze locked with the CEO's. 

yerim steps out of the pile of her discarded clothes on the floor, and joohyun walks to the door left ajar. she pauses when her hand rests on the knob before chuckling. my, my, what a naughty girl. 

"did you leave this open on purpose, yerim-ah?" 

the CEO doesn't move from her place, back facing the entry to her office, inches away from the table perpendicular to her desk, stark naked. she doesn't give a response either. 

joohyun knows the grin on her own face looks feral. yerim was being naughtier than usual. 

"maybe you want someone to pass by, hm? you want them to see just how fucking dirty their CEO is, getting fucked by the chairperson?" 

yerim hisses out a breath, and joohyun chuckles darkly, pushing the wood open wider. the hallway outside is bright, which allows light to leak into the room. it isn't enough for someone to be able to peek inside–the lights were still too dim for that–but just knowing that it was a possibility to be seen, to get caught, is enough. 

"stay put," joohyun orders, in case yerim had any inclinations to start touching herself. the older woman opens the second drawer on the desk, finding just what she's looking for. and more. "these weren't here the last time…" 

she picks up the familiar pussybow tie made from sleek black silk. yerim wore this last week when they'd met–joohyun had shoved it into her mouth to keep her from making noise as she fucked her against the door. 

there was also yerim's favorite bullet vibrator in the corner of the storage space, but joohyun only slides it shut, satisfied for now. 

"bend over, honey. you want them to see your pink pussy lips, don't you?" joohyun draws out, watching yerim move in the shadows to cater to her demand. 

the younger woman leans forward, chest against the marble desk, her ass and cunt in full view, facing the entrance to her office. if anyone walked in and turned the lights on, they'd be greeted with the sight of yerim bent over, her hole oozing out slick quim, clenching around nothing but air. 

joohyun takes her time to circle back until she's behind yerim again, the silk tie in hand. "what did you want me to do with this?" 

yerim doesn't make a sound, only breathes out against the marble desk. so joohyun slaps an exposed ass cheek, ripping a cry out of the CEO, followed by a whine. 

"answer mommy," the older woman growls. "and tell her what you wanted her to do with this."

joohyun places a hand against her back and holds her down, making the younger woman groan. "blindfold me," she gasps out breathlessly. "I wanted mommy to blindfold me."

the older woman grins darkly and presses her front against yerim's exposed center, savoring the whimper she hears come from the younger woman at the feeling of her package. 

"you think you're going to get what you want?" she asks, pressing her bulge harshly against yerim's heat, eating up the delirious sounds the younger woman made. when she doesn't receive an answer, joohyun slaps yerim's other cheek. that should wake her up. 

"n-no!" yerim sobs, hands scrambling and slipping on the tabletop from her sweat, grinding back against her bulge. "I-I'm sorry, mommy!"

"damn right you're sorry," joohyun grits her teeth, sinking her nails into the soft flesh of yerim's butt. "you think you're hot shit, huh? just because you're the CEO?" 

"ah!" yerim cries and whines when joohyun slaps her once more. "no! I'm sorry, I won't–I won't do that again!" 

the older woman drags her fingers against the naked flesh of the younger woman. "who's the boss, yerim-ah? who brings out the dirty little slut in you?" 

yerim sobs into her arms, desperately tilting and pushing her hips back, joohyun minimising the friction between yerim's center and her bulging crotch by holding the younger woman firmly against the marble. "you, mommy," she pants. 

the older woman pulls yerim up by grabbing her hair and gently tugging her, yerim following her whims, limbs useless, the ultimate sign of her submission. "a bad little girl like you deserves to be punished." 

she guided yerim until they both faced the door, joohyun leaning back against the table as yerim stands in front of her. 

"put your hands behind your back, yerim-ah. I know a better use for this tie." yerim does as she's told and joohyun knots the silk in place, swiftly binding her wrists together.

the older woman then unzips her slacks and lets them fall to her knees; she didn't need to have much mobility for this, because yerim was going to do all the work. joohyun uncurled the fake cock attached to her underwear, wincing at the pull of the harness against her skin. three hours was a long time to be wearing this thing, double use or not.

she carefully brushed the tip of the silicone against yerim’s labia, making the younger girl visibly tremble. joohyun’s solution was to hold her by her long blonde hair.

“you tired me out by making me wait,” the older woman said, smirking as she tugged on yerim’s hair, causing the younger woman’s pussy to swallow another inch of her strap. “so why don’t you come and fuck yourself instead.”

joohyun let her grip on the younger woman’s hair stay loose, unwilling to help yerim in any way. she can set the pace all she wants–it doesn’t matter. yerim will still see the fault in her thinking she could take control of what happens in this office when joohyun is around.

although she can’t feel what’s happening between their sexes, joohyun can imagine it. the slight resistance of yerim’s cunt and the squelching sound made an awfully detailed image. joohyun feels the push against her hips as the dick bottoms out, yerim gasping for breath and arching her back beautifully, joohyun feelingl it as she palmed the sweaty skin.

yerim takes a second too long to relax, so joohyun slaps her ass again.

“fuck! mommy, mommy,” yerim sobs, rocking herself against joohyun’s strap. her position is far from comfortable, but that’s the point. she only thinks she’s in control. the truth is that joohyun is.

“do you like it, you slut?” joohyun grunts as yerim speeds up and knocks back onto her roughly.

yerim continues moaning, grunting every few thrusts. “yes, mommy, so good,” she blubbers out almost deliriously, and joohyun smirks wider.

“who gives it to you this good, yerim-ah?”

the younger woman cries when joohyun tugs on her hair. “haah, ah, fuck,” she gasps as joohyun responds with her hips in turn, finally meeting the poor woman’s demands. “y-you, mommy.”

“and who’s the reason you’re still here, hm? is it your eomma and appa?” joohyun grins as yerim’s weight pushes forward. the CEO was already losing strength in her limbs, just as the older woman wanted. “fucking answer me,” the chairperson hisses out and squeezes yerim’s hip, pounding into her, the sound of their hips slapping together echoing in the room and possibly even out the hallway.

“ah! it’s you, mommy, you,” yerim mewled, no longer bucking her hips back into joohyun’s, letting the chairperson have her way with her instead.

“that’s right, it’s me. I can replace you anytime with the snap of my finger, you dirty slut. don’t fucking forget that.” joohyun clicked her tongue when she felt yerim’s body get heavier, quickly pulling out and letting go, yerim collapsing into a kneel on the rug, gasping heavily. the older woman untied the binds on the younger’s wrists before making her stand, pushing her onto the table so she was on her back.

the older woman discarded her pants and shoes before swiftly closing the door and turning on the lights–revealing yerim’s flushed nakedness to whoever bothers to look into the window, its curtains set aside and of no use. 

not that there was any building around with this high of a floor, anyway.

joohyun grabs yerim’s legs and proceeds to tie her ankles instead, lifting the youngers legs and placing it atop her left shoulder. the position made for a tighter fit, and yerim’s stuttered gasp proves this as joohyun penetrates her lips with the strap once again.

“oh, fuck, mommy, yes,” the younger woman grunted, hair splayed against the dark marble, arms raised above her head. “right there–right there!”

the resistance is different too; joohyun can feel it in the drag of the cock as she pulls out, much tighter, as if yerim’s pussy didn’t want to let go. she tilts her hips up, hitting the front side of yerim’s inner walls, watches yerim’s breasts bounce from her thrusts, and takes note of how yerim’s back arches against the hard surface.

joohyun grunts as she reaches for yerim’s face, tilting it towards the window where their bodies were reflected against the glass. “look at yourself, you slut,” she hisses, holding yerim down as she continues to pump her hips against yerim’s ass. “how’s the view from the ‘top’?”

the older woman furrows her brows when she spots yerim’s eyes flicking towards her instead. “so good, mommy.”

that’s it. joohyun lets go of the younger woman’s face and starts rapidly slamming into the younger woman (–ah, ah, ah, mommy!–), pounding against her with her hips while holding the CEO’s legs against her (–mommy mommy pleasepleaseplease–), watching yerim’s body quake and convulse as she comes (–oh my god, oh fuck!). 

she pumps into the younger woman all the while, prolonging her orgasm with well-timed thrusts until yerim relaxed completely and raised a hand to half-heartedly stop her from fucking her further, breathing heavily.

and when joohyun pulls out, she does so slowly, kissing the outside of yerim’s thigh in appeasement when the younger woman gasps from the feeling of being emptied. she ingrains the sight of the yerim on the table, eyes covered by an arm over her face, skin glistening with sweat from their intercourse. 

what a pretty sight. joohyun is never going to get tired of putting the CEO in her place–especially if this is how she looks in her afterglow every time.

if the board tries to find any reason at all to strip yerim of her CEO position and, consequently, separate her and joohyun–the older woman would rip them to shreds. 

no one is allowed to take this sight away from her: the actual view from the top.

---

[punkscowardschampions]

Jimmy & Janis

Jimmy: Your nan in? Janis: what? Jimmy: not a hard question, does she work weekends or what? Janis: stop trying to get with my nan, freak Jimmy: I'm trying to do nowt, our kid is Jimmy: [a picture of Bobby with a lewk on and some kind of gift for Libi because he's asking her out lowkey] Jimmy: so go on, she there or not? Janis: Aw Janis: where's he off to? Janis: I'm looking after Libi, dunno if it's classed as punishment or they just wanted to piss off out for the day that bad Jimmy: Asia's sister's having a 🥳🎂🎁 and he don't wanna go on his own Jimmy: last night were the first I heard Jimmy: so I said I'd ask if he can invite Libi out Janis: relatable Janis: wouldn't wanna face all those 🦷🦷 alone either Janis: I'll show her the 📸 sure she'll be pure buzzing Jimmy: it's alright for you I've gotta piss about and translate 'cause none of them can be bothered to learn how to talk to him Jimmy: not til 🕑 loads of time to put her 👗👠👑 on but he's been ready for ages Janis: I mean, glad they haven't just assumed they can shout really, really loud at him Janis: only cute when she does it, obvs Janis: but that's shit, Asia's gonna think you're hanging about to 👀 her, you know Janis: 👗👠👑 and everything Jimmy: I were 🤞 she wouldn't wanna be there surrounded by kids and that, but they probably are her mental age Jimmy: be a right laugh then, this 😒 Jimmy: 🤞 now I can convince the pair of them to go do something else Janis: they're weird about it Janis: great for the 'gram pretending you're bezzies with your little sisters Jimmy: the rest of the #squad gonna be there then? Janis: not 💀👑 or #2 I doubt Janis: maybe the others though Jimmy: I get it, they'd scare the kids Jimmy: float away if they grab a 🎈 Janis: with their combined BMI, no point pretending they wanna be future mummy bloggers Janis: 🩸🩸 pact it ain't Jimmy: sure Azerbaijan or whatever her name is, is gutted they ain't coming Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Janis: Auntie Mimi Janis: 😏 Jimmy: you got a 👗👠👑  there you can chuck on an' all? Janis: so nice of you to reckon I'm ready to step in to sign backup Jimmy: you know loads of insults, that's all the birthday girl ever has to say to him Janis: she must be unbearable Janis: Asia with less filter, some fucking how Janis: I can come with Jimmy: tah Jimmy: it were doing his head in 💭 what it might be like Janis: understandable Janis: kids are dicks Janis: but if everyone else is going, you don't wanna be the one who don't Jimmy: yeah, he weren't having that Janis: they'll have a good time Janis: providing he ain't 😳 to be seen with her Janis: she's putting on some kind of costume rn Janis: might need to 👍👎 Jimmy: he'll be chuffed Jimmy: if this party had been the other year with his mates from home he'd have put his own 👗👠👑 on Janis: Asia's probably dressed bday girl up in a matching 'fit with her Janis: lovely visual, not weird as fuck Janis: they'll be the most 😎 ones there, deffo Jimmy: I'm wrapping a weird doll with massive 👀 that looks like her on a night out rn Jimmy: [a picture] Janis: ✝️✝️✝️ Janis: gonna tell the hot priest to book that in after me Jimmy: sent a 🎁 list, her mini me, you ever heard of such a pisstake? Jimmy: mate, you're turning 7 Janis: bad enough when adults do it just 'cos they've decided to do the paperwork Janis: that's some bullshit Jimmy: she's such a little twat 🤞 Libi gives her the shit 🎅 treatment Janis: letting her bring her whatever tat she's picking up about the gaff Janis: go ahead, like Jimmy: 😏 Jimmy: brb gonna go dress in all black like those dickheads who work puppets Janis: when are you not all in black though Jimmy: loads Janis: 🏫 don't count Janis: no choice Janis: or whatever the CG uniform is Jimmy: 1. I weren't on about school 2. you know what the uniform is, you've been in Janis: not committed it to memory like Janis: soz Janis: have to 💭 about Pete more, you're right Jimmy: you did 👀 at it enough, dickhead Jimmy: but I get it, my 👀 are up a bit from the apron Jimmy: very PG, you Janis: PC and PG Janis: 💔 Jimmy: good thing I've got you to rein me in at this bollocks party Janis: not a wet blanket Janis: but this party will probably be traumatizing enough so you're welcome anyway Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: she can stay at ours after if she wants, let you piss off and do something that ain't Janis: oh, yeah, cheers Jimmy: no bother Janis: if you ever need, he can come here Jimmy: take you up on that when this Sharon's gone and Ian's hanging about 💔🎻😭 Janis: a new one? Janis: or is xmas Sharon back Jimmy: doing the rounds her Jimmy: be a record Janis: 😱 Janis: buy a hat Jimmy: get another exorcism booked, more like Jimmy: been trying to 🙏 her away Janis: he's a little preoccupied rn Janis: oops, soz, He's Jimmy: bloody typical Janis: shit nan got in early and they're like 🤝 Janis: do anything for her Janis: priorities Jimmy: 💔 she won't do owt for me Jimmy: reckoned I'd made a top first impression Janis: @ her Jimmy: what is it? Janis: @godandmejudgingeverybody Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: she reckons so too Jimmy: I worked that out when we 🤝 Janis: BFFs in the making Jimmy: obvs Janis: 🤢 Jimmy: if she's chucking about incense an' all, I might do Janis: Poor boy Janis: baptism of 🔥 ain't far off Jimmy: still 😱😱 you didn't do that to Lucas' car Jimmy: what did I even bother giving you a lighter for, girl? Janis: 😒 piss off Janis: you didn't see how fucked it was Janis: talk 😱😱 like Freddie got hold of it Jimmy: where's the 📷s? Janis: love keeping evidence on my phone, me Janis: think on Janis: getting us out of detention, not back in Jimmy: weren't gonna tweet 'em, calm yourself down Janis: see for yourself Monday Janis: not like he can afford a replacement or paint job Jimmy: he'll have had it done piss poor Janis: just some emulsion Janis: not for his baby Jimmy: gotta do what you've gotta do Jimmy: we've all nicked out the 🎨 cupboard Janis: 🤓 Jimmy: oh so you don't want today's? alright Jimmy: ❌ Janis: didn't say that Jimmy: in the 🗑 now, Janet Janis: shut up Janis: give it me Jimmy: when I see you Jimmy: can't have you feeling left out about all these 🎁s Jimmy: our kid's been trying to pick half the garden like it ain't winter Janis: so smooth, that one Jimmy: SO 😍💕🤝 the pair of them Janis: it's pretty cute Janis: for now Jimmy: can't wait to see how many Josephs the star of the nativity's got Jimmy: bet her sister and me can't count that high Janis: you calling a 7 year old a slag? 😏 Jimmy: don't sound like me, that Janis: 💭 about someone else then, my bad Jimmy: that sounds like you, we're back on track Janis: now I'm a slag Janis: have been chatting to my nan Jimmy: ain't my fault 💀👑 reckons 💭 is cheating if anyone else does it Janis: the dissonance between that and 1. what she do and more importantly 2. what daddy do Janis: 🤯 Jimmy: dunno what your 🤓🗨 means but she's a hypocrite, yeah Janis: come on Janis: left out cognitive for you Jimmy: 🏆 Jimmy: Bill wanted you to have that Janis: that's why he's my fave Jimmy: alright, I'll leave you to @ him Janis: OR Janis: you could be nice to me and I'll reconsider my ratings Jimmy: invited you to a 🥇 party a bit ago Jimmy: don't get nicer than that, dickhead Janis: **a shit party, possibly the shittest if Asia's had fuck all to do with organizing Janis: but you are bringing me a pity present so 🥉 Jimmy: Oi, it's a masterpiece Jimmy: and I'm having Libi for you when she's 🎂🧁🍭🍬😁 Janis: you aren't offering spoilers Janis: but you did offer that Jimmy: you can have one that I reckoned wouldn't be #goals enough Jimmy: [funny doodles shading the gals and this party etc, we know what I'm saying] Janis: 😂😂😂 Janis: it's 🤓 goals Jimmy: you can frame it, just don't stick in on your story Janis: still know what I'm doing Janis: not been that long Jimmy: THANK GOD Jimmy: teaching you signing is one thing Janis: oi Janis: you don't need to teach me nothing about #goals Jimmy: you do alright Janis: better than any other bitch could Jimmy: that'll be why I picked you Jimmy: not some other lass Janis: don't act like you're regretting it then Jimmy: if I were performing that scene it'd be loads more dramatic Janis: wait for your cue Jimmy: how about you stop reading ahead Janis: 🤪 Jimmy: I said you were doing alright not that I were regretting owt Janis: I don't like the sound of alright Janis: sounds a bit participation 🏆 Jimmy: *🥈 Janis: that means 🥈 as a team Janis: joint effort Jimmy: it means you're 🥈 to my 🥇 Janis: bollocks Jimmy: how is it? Janis: you're no better Janis: we do the same amount Jimmy: UGH fine Janis: you can't be 🥇 on your own Janis: ✊🍆 Jimmy: couldn't be #goals on my own Janis: same thing Jimmy: is it? Janis: with what we're talking about Jimmy: I were giving you my review, not the fans Janis: I know how big your head is Janis: no need to 💬 Jimmy: you can have a 🥇 for how massive yours is an' all Janis: I don't want that one Jimmy: what do you want? Janis: 🥇 review Jimmy: that's what you had before you picked holes in my wording Janis: fine Janis: say it again and I'll 🤐 Jimmy: I'll 🤐 Janis: UGH fine Jimmy: 🙄 ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Janis: if I wanted to chat to my sister Janis: I'd ask if she was coming Jimmy: and if I wanted my lines corrected I'd @ Bill's 👻 Janis: maybe if I 🔊 'em I'd feel different Jimmy: I'll follow Libi's lead Janis: as long as it's before the shindig Janis: doesn't sound #goalz Jimmy: we'll have to whisper then Jimmy: wouldn't want the birthday girl to hear me calling her a twat Janis: 😏 Janis: not 🥇 guest behaviour Janis: heaven forbid Jimmy: have to have our own party and have it be up to us what's 🥇 guest behaviour Janis: we should Janis: but where Jimmy: we can have it here 🤞 they'll trash the place and Ian'll be so 💔🎻😭 he packs what's left up Janis: alright Janis: but where are you putting the kid Janis: your sister can hang maybe but call me crazy, six is a bit too young Jimmy: with his 👰? Janis: 💡 Janis: we could set that up Janis: my nan works with kids, the non-shit one Libi lives with Janis: he'd be good Jimmy: there you go then Jimmy: ✔👍 Janis: BUT WHAT WILL WE WEAR Jimmy: OMG! Jimmy: 🛍🛍🛍!! Janis: 😍😍😍 Janis: YAAAAAAAASSSSSS Jimmy: what are you actually wearing for this bollocks in a bit though? Jimmy: 🚫💡 me Jimmy: do I go #goals or do her head in? Janis: you don't wanna look like you've made a special effort for her Janis: but I will be there so 🤔 Janis: go hot but more what they 💭 I'm into Jimmy: so dress like a lass? alright Janis: 😒❌ Janis: peak 'you' Janis: twat Jimmy: 😎 I get it Janis: 👏 Janis: there you go Jimmy: tah 😘 Jimmy: would HATE to upstage the birthday girl Janis: I've checked their socials to make sure I do Janis: as you asked Jimmy: should be in the group chat Jimmy: [shows her pisstakey qs he's been sending Asia] Janis: I turned the notifs off Jimmy: they do go on and on Jimmy: I won't 🗨 that'll be why you're 🥈 Janis: they wanna 🗨 to you Janis: not me Jimmy: but I want to talk to you Jimmy: and read what you have to say to them, obvs Janis: okay, fair point Jimmy: you're funny, said that before Janis: I won't  🗨 if it's list worthy Jimmy: alright, I won't tell you Janis: 😔 Jimmy: what? Janis: now I wanna know, obviously Janis: but Jimmy: but? Janis: won't ask won't tell Jimmy: so ask Janis: well you'll probably just say nah now Jimmy: make me sound like more of a dickhead Janis: you're not Janis: you just take the piss Jimmy: I know when to leave it out Janis: okay Janis: so does it? Jimmy: why wouldn't it? Janis: I know I'm great and have a MASSIVE head and everything Janis: but don't crack myself up Janis: 🤣🤣🤣😬 Jimmy: it's my list Jimmy: dunno why that's hard to get your head round Jimmy: you don't get a say what's on it and it don't matter if you agree or not Janis: alright Janis: were just saying why it might not be Jimmy: alright Janis: but is it Jimmy: you heard Jimmy: not gonna have a list of things and just not put something I give you loads of compliments about on it Janis: okay Janis: 😎 Jimmy: 🚭 for a bit 💔🎻 Janis: might have cigars Janis: is a birthday Jimmy: one Asia might've organised Janis: those candy ones Jimmy: 🤞😁🤞 Janis: Bobby will be in his impression element Jimmy: he'd have to take Libi's fav 🖍 out from behind his 👂 Jimmy: not very #goals Janis: goals when she realises Janis: so 😍 Janis: she's done him a picture Janis: tell him to pretend it's good Jimmy: well harsh critic, you Jimmy: dunno if I wanna give you this 🎨 now Jimmy: or tell him owt 'cause he's been trying to get us to go knock on your nan's door for ages Janis: she's 4, and not picasso Janis: that's not mean Janis: we are ready, if he wants to come play first, or go to the park Janis: whatever Jimmy: you've near had my 👂 off, don't make me van Gogh Jimmy: be nice to me Janis: awh Janis: don't be 💙 Janis: come over Jimmy: okay Janis: you don't have to Janis: but she's rabid too Jimmy: I've left, not gonna turn him back round Jimmy: hang on Janis: 👍 Jimmy: [show up so Bobby can adorably ask Libi to come to this party with him like it's a date on the doorstep and Jimothy can give his bae a single 🌹 for the shakespearean romance of it along with this 🎨 which I like to think isn't just a doodle like the rest but a full moment because she really inspired him by getting them out of detention] Janis: [she will be thrilled, love to imagine how iconic the party fit we've assembled is, a whole mishmash of things we love you know the vibe, probably gonna smooch him like what a lovely surprise and this is her romcom now lmao, thank god these kids be distracted 'cos we are likewise overwhelmed af by both these gestures in a way we don't even want babbies to see thank you] Jimmy: [I know that you'd never be able to find a lewk iconic enough for this mvp so I shall imagine it, likewise glad that these children are having their rom com moment because adorable but also because Jimothy would be feeling so awks because we don't normally try with our art and don't think we're good at it, go show Bobby your room gal, kids love doing that and JJ can have a cuppa or something and calm down] Janis: [yeah idk what pinterest rabbit hole I'd have to go down but doubt we'd get the desired effect, I'm thinking some kind of superhero moment on top w a cape, then a tutu, then some snazzy boots, then a crown, you know exactly the moment we're wilding and Asia's sisters are gonna be like oh lmao, probably put Killer in the garden so she doesn't bowl Bobby over immediately but you can go play with her too, just keep looking at this art shamelessly 'cos he's stepped his game up and we are impressed, also finding a way to braid this rose into our hair which again doubt I'll get a photo but it'd be a lewk as well, go sit with your cuppas like the parents you are lol] Jimmy: [yeah they are usually v basic with their children's lewks you'd need instagram or like a celeb who lets their kid dress themselves and even then, might not be the vibe, Asia's sisters can honestly fuck off because we know the older one who's like younger than Cass so in my head probably like 9/10 is an even bigger bitch so, what's important is how buzzing these kids are because haven't seen each other for ages and how 😳 Jimmy is by her reaction to the art and her hair lewk and how shamelessly he'd be checking her out when she was making the tea because we know she's also wearing one] Janis: [like she's 4 hens idk what to tell ya, she does not care for your shade, we're having a time, we all know the gals, whoever be there, will be going for an overly girly look so you'd win by default but we've clearly tried 'cos want to and we know why] Jimmy: [not soz that she's not 7 going on 17 like the bday gal, idk about you but I feel like if Hollie has any siblings they are probably brothers so she has no reason to be there, so realistically none of them might be unless Grace is babysitting instead of working in the clothes shop in which case she might be but it wasn't really about any of you or for your benefit hens, plus that feels like a vibe because Asia probably was thinking she'd flirt with him] Janis: [tea, like she's a hoe so she don't care but she could've gone in if none of them were about so a mood, not soz to stop that awkwardness at all 'what continent is in his class then?'] Jimmy: [lbr Mia would be encouraging her to like she'd been trying to get Grace to when he first arrived so yeah, as for replying to the bae we just 😏 and shrugging as we make up loads of more and more ridiculous names] Janis: [we all know it, like okay ladies it's clearly not going anywhere but pop off embarrassing yourselves trying, just having a moment of doing that back and forth for the lols] Jimmy: [let it go Mia! we all know he'll have choked on his tea at least once because she is funny we weren't wrong] Janis: [we've missed this] Jimmy: [live your best lives kids even if he would keep getting distracted by the hair 🌹] Janis: ['any particular plan of attack or?'] Jimmy: ['you not leaving me on my own 'cause she'll have one for me' we're joking but lowkey where is the lie] Janis: [just a look that is like ew but obviously 'or with her ma' 'cos just imagining her as an older Asia like there's just all the generations here] Jimmy: [the look on his face would be everything because we've not even considered that] Janis: [just like mhmm, doubt you've ever met her mum in a real capacity girl but also doubt you're wrong lol 'dad did one for a reason...I'll protect you'] Jimmy: [snuggling into her like we're trying to hide which is obvs purely for the pisstake and not because we want to] Janis: [snuggling him back but in a really extra way to prove we're also in on the #bants of it all] Jimmy: ['you got a plan?' like is there anything you wanna do to fuck with the gals while we're there, blatantly still in the snugg as we say this] Janis: [thinking, not just to drag this whole experience out but you know, 'are we inviting them to the party?'] Jimmy: [drawing little ?s on her skin while she's thinking without thinking ourselves about how distracting that'd be or why we probably shouldn't rn 'depends'] Janis: [! when he's doing it but then doing it back to the depends] Jimmy: ['are we still their fake mates?' because lbr the temptation always to just tell them all to go fuck themselves and genuinely thinking about how she was gonna behave at this party if Janis wasn't there] Janis: [shrugs 'they're shit mates, we don't have to invite them and we could still use it later to fuck with them' like they'll get over the diss of not being invited so fuck it if we don't wanna] Jimmy: ['alright' boy you make me laugh does that mean you wanna invite them or you don't] Janis: [tickle him a bit like alright what, dickhead] Jimmy: [so fake offended like excuse you I'm not off my tits on Helena's pain meds today but we know he's actually okay because he's obvs ticking her back more than she did to him] Janis: [getting out 'I will kick you' but as a warning not a threat 'cos don't wanna actually injure you here boy] Jimmy: ['no you won't' lowkey sounds like a challenge there boy but we know you're saying she loves you too much 'not shit mates, us'] Janis: [a LOOK 'we're alright' 'cos didn't mean to drag you so much over a word, the feels are confusing and high] Jimmy: [return the LOOK 'and you are' because you're alright too still even though you did drag him 😏] Janis: [between 🤭 and 😳 like okay, I know, shh but we're not mad 'you' like you too bitch] Jimmy: [touch her hair like you've wanted to this entire time 'but this...' like this needs a word you won't drag me for because you've made such good choices gal 'not alright' because at the same time WE ARE AFFECTED AF] Janis: ['do something about it then' which IS a challenge but you know full well these kids are in and out/you have no time but do we care] Jimmy: [is going to pull her hair in that way that's meant to be playful and pisstakey but is saucy as all hell because of course he is] Janis: [trying so hard NOT to react and make a sound that the lip bite you have to do would be indecent Jimmy: [so indecent that he'd have to do his own while we run our thumb over her bottom lip like always] Janis: [kissing that thumb honey] Jimmy: [I hope the kids are busy because we're making a SOUND like it or not] Janis: [be in the bedroom playing happily tah] Jimmy: [you gotta because we're pulling her into our lap to kiss her] Janis: [we will let you have this 'cos you need to] Jimmy: [likewise gotta let him also pull whatever clothes he needs aside so he can do an epic lovebite somewhere where these kids nor the kids at this party can't see the massive bruise because they'd all have faded and that upsets me] Janis: [boo says not on my watch, I also sincerely hope mcvickers have gone somewhere for the day and don't just waltz in now because we are so into it] Jimmy: [soz but we've started something now without him stopping himself so we literally cannot stop, it has been forever since they last did any of this] Janis: [concerned he would never wanna again so we're doing the most rn] Jimmy: [I don't even need to say how into it he is] Janis: [bit rude of us to do this and send you to a kid's party but that's life] Jimmy: [I am that rude bitch] Janis: [if it wasn't rude to Bobby we'd just dump you on 'em but you know, this has dealt with some tension and increased the rest lmao] Jimmy: [you're welcome but also I'm soz (I'm not though) hens] Janis: [gotta stunt on Asia so she can report back] Jimmy: [we shall and it'll be glorious] Jimmy: [I was thinking there should be a person there doing the kids' make up and nails because she's 7 going on 17 and so Bobby should get his painted Libi's fave colour and vice versa] Janis: [that's cute as hell, Libi acting like this makeup lady is a facepaint one like make me this tah] Jimmy: [don't worry gal, jimothy will paint your face for you when we leave this party and it will be bomb because I feel like the makeup woman is like that hairdresser woman in the duchess who wouldn't let her daughter sit in the car] Janis: [Luckily you to lil to be made to feel embarrassed just like hmm you're not very good are you like can't make me a tiger? bit shit hen lmao] Jimmy: [sass everyone gal JJ are here for it and you know they'd also ask her to facepaint them, just coming at her with ideas until she's like please stop] Janis: [this woman trying to paint pink nails and do some sparkly gloss and we're like challenge yourself babes, also gonna scran this party food it better be good fam] Jimmy: [I hope it tastes alright at least even if it looks tacky as hell lol] Janis: [at least you can't not go the sugar route at a kids bday, can't make 'em eat salads n water lol] Jimmy: [imagine everyone dancing please, JJ be dancing, Libi and Bobby, Libi and Jimothy and Janis and Bobby] Janis: [a whole mood, imagine everyone's faces at all times it's so amusing] Jimmy: [I can't wait for when Asia reports all of this back to Mia and she sees all the content everyone is posting] Janis: [when has a boy ever, the idea of even bringing one home horrifies y'all] Jimmy: [not at all soz that he's actually the softest boy ever and loves both of these bubs instead of whatever weird barista stereotype y'all thought] Janis: [they obvs thought he was 😎 stereotype for real like ok gals] Jimmy: [omg just saw on Pinterest these cards like who knows the bday girl best that you fill in and we have to have JJ fill in some for their own lols that they obvs aren't gonna give to this child but] Janis: [that's a must omg] Jimmy: [also there should be like a cupcake decorating station or something like that because the bubs would actually have fun doing that and JJ can be competitive doing theirs] Jimmy: [photobooth goes without saying but one where the photos come out and you can keep them because then we can have so many great mems thank you] Janis: [when we're just ignoring every guest lowkey love it] Jimmy: [obvs if there are kids in your class you fuck with Bobby you can proudly introduce Libi to them, cos let's assume they aren't all dicks] Jimmy: [and lowkey Libi can introduce Bobby because he's been too shy to talk to any of y'all] Janis: [statistically, some of you must be okay lol, also some kids lowkey like the shine of a 'different' kid and like to like help, which is cute even if it's a bit like oh you special, they don't mean it like that] Jimmy: [yeah at that age they are basically just trying to be nice and helpful so it's fine] Janis: [make some friends, Libi is v sociable so this should be fun and not as terrible as you worried, we got you babe] Jimmy: [at least if Libi has got this JJ can have a sec to themselves] Janis: [got to be couple #goals too, I mean we have been but like, keep Asia away] Jimmy: [because that's the ONLY reason honey not that we just wanna] Janis: [mhmm, obvs, not like we got interrupted from going there] Jimmy: [and we obvs think she's gonna just leave after this and go do whatever so we're trying to make the most of this time as if we won't shamelessly invite her in to have her face painted] Janis: [like where does she wanna be, she didn't even wanna beforehand but especially not now lol god bless] Jimmy: [like he probably thinks she wants to go 🐕🏃 for that 💰 but you could literally take these children with you sir] Janis: [like that is what we would do but we also want a life 'cos we've not for these last 3 going on 4 years and it's getting old] Jimmy: [the tea because likewise all he does is work and look after Bobby and Cass so we just wanna live our own life] Janis: [it's both what we want and good news guys you're gonna make it] Jimmy: [gonna be such good parents because you're already doing it now when you're literally 15 and not in a good headspace/situation] Janis: [letting you have fun first, we still gotta look after these kiddos but we're gonna get rid of Ian and Cass will be old enough to help and it'll all be better] Jimmy: [sounds like they are gonna kill Ian which makes me lol] Janis: [lmao, plottwist but no, lowkey what do happen to you Ian lordt] Jimmy: [please feel free to fuck off somewhere else like back up north sir] Janis: [that's a mood, like okay, bye then] Jimmy: [but anyway before we get derailed is there anything else you wanna do at this party or shall we skip?] Janis: [we probably know the vibes, we all had a good time despite the odds and the gals are gonna get the lowdown from Asia] Jimmy: [enjoy the walk back because the kids will be running ahead buzzing off all this sugar and their good time] Janis: [you should take both dogs out as y'all are buzzing, run off their energy too] Jimmy: [good idea because Twix do need to socialise too she's just a baby] Janis: [yeah Killer is a bit older now but she's still v excitable] Jimmy: [just two 🐕 gal pals] Janis: [love stories for all lollollol] Jimmy: [imagine all the artsy pics Jimothy would be getting like a little art hoe] Janis: [we're about it, such a family unit honestly it's wild] Jimmy: [I love it but not the awkward moment when they get back to mcvickers house to take Killer home and he has to be like are you coming to have your face painted or what because fully expecting her to be like nahhh] Janis: [DO YOU WANT YOUR FACE PAINTED BITCH, just seeming like we're like HELL YEAH 'cos we do wanna come] Jimmy: [also we should say mcvickers are back for the lols] Janis: [absolutely, we would've messaged them so they weren't like HELLO but now when we're going back to his it's like SeriousParentTime™] Jimmy: [maybe they won't let Libi sleep over so she's just coming for a bit because then once Bobby crashes they can actually live] Janis: [that makes sense for now, she's probably never had a sleepover outside of the fam because she's that small so go with that] Jimmy: [and lowkey we could potentially palm Bobby off on Cass to put to bed if they wanted to go to the pub or wherever because they are both serving lewks] Janis: [have walked the dog and had 'em all day, c'mon gal lol] Jimmy: [exactly but for now go and do your facepainting sesh because I vote that Bobby is a 🐺 seeing as it's like a dog upgrade and he's feeling himself today and that Jimothy gets the bae to do him as a 💀 for that flatwhite shade] Janis: [ooh, what do you wanna be gals] Janis: [hmm, Libi should ask for a galaxy moment 'cos Star, no pressure, get abstract lmao, maybe a vampire moment for you Janis] Jimmy: [let's not think about how up close and personal facepainting is lads] Janis: [but let's lmao] Jimmy: [please go return the favour of showing Libi your room and then like go on the trampoline or something children] Janis: [live your best lives so we can be here with our face paint on lol] Jimmy: [obvs offering her more tea] Janis: [just gesturing to our face like make it blood but obvs nodding 'cos duh] Jimmy: [he is a big enough nerd to like bring you a glass of water with red food colouring in it while the kettle boils] Janis: [🙄😏 'cos he's funny too hun] Jimmy: [pretends like he's gonna snatch that 🌹 out of her hair and put it in the water but obvs doesn't actually] Janis: [fake #shooketh 'no takebacks'] Jimmy: ['you wanna kill it an' all?' just flirting and sassing nbd] Janis: ['sure, blame me when you picked it' fake tut] Jimmy: [Oi, you inspired me, it is your fault' looks up dramatically to where Bill's ghost would be floating around 'and a bit his'] Janis: [flirty smiles at where Bill is like I don't mind hehe] Jimmy: [throw something at her like we're so fake jealous and fuming] Janis: [throw something back 'he can't help being a romantic'] Jimmy: [going to make that tea like uggggggggh] Janis: don't be jealous Janis: he 💕 you too Jimmy: he's just using me to get to you Jimmy: not as thick as I look Janis: how long were you chatting to asia Janis: sounds just like her Jimmy: if she's the unappreciated genius 🖋🎭 instead of me and my 🎨 FUMING Jimmy: plot twist too far, that Janis: 😂 Janis: think you're safe Janis: much to her 💔 Jimmy: I were a bit ago an' all, tah for that Jimmy: very 💪🏆🥇 you Janis: reckon you could take her in a fight but Janis: yeah Jimmy: not THAT northern, steady on Janis: you'd be doing her a favour Janis: 🦷🦷 Janis: so fuck that Jimmy: exactly Jimmy: if I were bothered about doing other lasses favours I'd open my DMs Janis: you've mentioned Jimmy: you want owt else while I'm here? Janis: all good Janis: tah Jimmy: 👍 Janis: I'm glad he ended up having a good time Janis: and not every kid in his class is a little twat Jimmy: only be 💔🎻😭 when she goes off home Jimmy: how it should be Janis: 😏 such a purist, you Jimmy: a what? Jimmy: sounds well like you're insulting us Janis: maybe Jimmy: bit rude Jimmy: LITERALLY just complimented you Janis: when? Janis: must be AGES ago Jimmy: I get it, you don't know how to tell time either Jimmy: it's alright, we'll work it out together Jimmy: [bring that tea in] Janis: [buzzing like we really need this tea, nothing to do with you] Jimmy: [we're totally also buzzing about this tea and not because she is, yep] Janis: [no one is this excited for a cuppa not even yous or us lol] Jimmy: [I like to think that he goes to kiss her and once again stops himself but this time it's only because of the face paint and we're looking in the direction of upstairs where the children are 'don't fancy having that Q&A' meaning Libi asking what happened if she appears and they have ruined it] Janis: ['she's a right cockblock' and what's meant to be a fake 😒 but we're not not lbr] Jimmy: [we're remembering when we played that game where you had to kiss without touching and reminding her about it like we could change the rules if you're up for that challenge] Janis: [nods 'cos don't trust ourselves to say ANYTHING about this idea] Jimmy: [picture this, he starts out by touching her hair OBVS because he's obsessed but then just gently pulling on her earlobe cos he would've put it in his mouth if he could've then going down her jawline and neck writing kiss or doing an ✔ depending on the surface area we have to play with using our fingertip and varying the amount of pressure depending if it would've been a hard or soft kiss and just doing that for all the skin that's available everywhere] Janis: [shan't because we can't cope and at least we can be obvious about that, these kids are busy and gotta do what we gotta do Jimmy: [gotta do what we've gotta do and we are doing the MOST on this sofa rn even though his entire family + Libi could appear any moment] Janis: [getting on top of you on this sofa even though it's a bad idea for all the above reasons, not to mention the eye contact it demands 'you're rude'] Jimmy: [but it's a good idea for the sound he would make when she did so we're unrepentant over here 'you' well done for getting the word out boy] Janis: [shaking her head and getting the most movement out of that 'you started it'] Jimmy: [pulling her even closer like yeah I did and I'm not soz] Janis: [running our finger across his neck like you should be 'Jimmy...' at least this would be quiet because we're that close but that's the only at least] Jimmy: [touching the lovebite he gave her earlier so deliberately with such intense eye contact like I am simply not though] Janis: ['takes the piss' and pouting 'cos literally vampire facepaint and she hasn't given him one yet] Jimmy: [running his thumb over that lip whilst doing his own pout because we wanna do the pouty lip bite thing SO BAD rn but we can't] Janis: [biting our lip where his thumb just was] Jimmy: [such a frustrated noise as if this wasn't his idea lol] Janis: [finally feeling like we've had a win there so we're smug] Jimmy: [tickling her like how dare you not also be dying here excuse you] Janis: [trying to pin his hands above his head like no no] Jimmy: [he's totally gonna end up pinning you to this sofa gal, just the sauciest playfight of all time happening] Janis: [we know we're breaking and we do not care, fight us Libi] Jimmy: [proud of you for lasting as long as you did tbh] Janis: [truly, have your lovebite and then some boy] Jimmy: [have to let you hook up here without anyone interrupting you or else you will both die] Janis: [have a quickie guys] Jimmy: [can't be dealing with your bad moods if you don't] Janis: [it has been days, which in your timeline is like nearly half of lmao so] Jimmy: [we all know you're extra] Janis: [gonna have to take Libi back soon gal] Jimmy: [everyone's gonna be gutted to be separated but the lads will walk you back because gentlemanly like that] Jimmy: [but for now have your tea that you're gonna have to put in the microwave because you never touched it] Janis: [my boo says HELLO] Jimmy: [also probably take your face paint off because I dread to think the state of it now] Janis: [the black face energy getting real lmao] Jimmy: [if you don't go do this together and mess about while you do by like having a water fight and only removing bits at a time so you look silly etc then I don't wanna know either of you] Janis: [obviously we must, also I think the bubbys paint should be a little smudged 'cos Libi keeps smooching him like my shameless boo] Jimmy: [so cute and I can imagine JJ just giving each other a look like 😏 because relatable] Janis: [gonna age Tess so hard gal] Jimmy: [be looking like her sim] Janis: [poor tess haha] Jimmy: [I really hope you don't actually put her through it as you're growing up hun, we've been through enough] Janis: [we do need to think about that now you exist in gen 4 kinda but like yeah, arguably we could also do bobby in the first part of the gen, ANYWAY THOUGH] Jimmy: [we could totally do some of them next if you want because we know they are gonna stay friends so] Janis: [cuteness and potential] Jimmy: [anyway is there anything else you wanna have happen before Libi goes home or no?] Janis: [we don't have to do it if you don't wanna but important to note you're obvs sleeping over right] Jimmy: [totally because I still think they should go out even if it's just to his local pub but it could also be in town out depending on the mood though I don't know how you're gonna be like DO YOU WANNA when you're yet again on this doorstep or wherever lol] Janis: [for sure, do something purely 'cos you wanna and there's no excuse or distraction] Jimmy: [exactly, because you obviously haven't yet since she got back] Janis: [or lowkey ever? you might've actually, xmas eve yeah nvm] Jimmy: [could be argued that the pub crawl was for content though whereas they literally don't need to do any more today so] Janis: [mhmm, we've slayed today, you could've gone home hun] Jimmy: [exactly and that's why this is so important but for real I don't know how he's gonna be like do you wanna not go in and come back with me yet again so there's that] Janis: [don't worry, you can probably just hook up and then be like may as well stay] Jimmy: [just throw Bobby at Cass when you get back and then you can leave] Janis: [though it might be a conversation™ 'cos she would go to leave if not immediately 'cos bit rude but early in the AM] Jimmy: [mhmm just gotta make himself too vulnerable by being like no no, hope you're at least a bit drunk guys] Janis: [sure you will be honeys, where do we wanna skip to then] Jimmy: [question is do we wanna do any of this night out and see what happens or just skip to the end? hm Janis: [always fun to do a night out, even if we skip around 'cos a lot of we know the vibe I'm sure but we can see peeps, things can happen, without it being drama central] Jimmy: [no drama please, we're trying to have a nice chill time] Janis: [exactly dr phil, and we can, there's been enough heightened emotions for a while and we've really brushed them under the rug tbh] Jimmy: [hence I'm like we should probably do this night out because when you're drunk stuff might come out] Janis: [pop off and let's ride lads] Jimmy: [the question is lads do you wanna go out out so we can really serve these lewks or stay local so you're less likely to see the world and his wife] Janis: [hmmmmm, I say go to town 'cos xmas eve you stayed local to her so go off] Jimmy: [that is true, lets go with that] Janis: [you can try and get in some of the more iconic dublin pubs and show him the sights so] Jimmy: [yeah because he wouldn't have been because he's only been here for like 2 months now and we know he's antisocial] Janis: [and you are but children, plus going out to drink on your own is depressing soz you can do lots of things alone but not that lbr] Jimmy: [literally he has done nothing since he moved here like we said before so I'm glad you have each other now] Janis: [unlikely we've done it before either 'cos age, like but we'll know where to go] Jimmy: [I vote you have to only order drinks that cliché tourists would] Janis: [really annoying cocktails they hate making etc] Jimmy: [and Guinness like you think you're doing something] Janis: [you'll be so full lol] Jimmy: 👍? Janis: 🤰 Jimmy: 👶'll be 🍀💚🎩🌈 as fuck Janis: if it makes it Janis: 🥴 Jimmy: 💪🏆🥇 as you, obvs Janis: n'awh Janis: you 👍? Jimmy: I am now you've broke that news Jimmy: 😁 Janis: we're all buzzing Janis: reason to celebrate never needed when you're 🍀💚🎩🌈 but Jimmy: @iantaylor8 🏆 for most chuffed of all about the 🍀💚🎩🌈 bit Jimmy: 🍾🍻 Janis: not yours, basically white Janis: his round then? 😁 Jimmy: we'd need more luck than that to get him to 💰 owt now that 🎄 is done with Jimmy: have to kill and rob him Jimmy: but as far as celebrations go, wouldn't be 👎 Janis: let's come up  with plan #2 Janis: we can handle it Jimmy: how does the 👶 wanna do it? all about them now Janis: car bomb, obviously Jimmy: nod to its real dad Janis: pretty sure we did a big 💣 in manchester so ian will be #triggered Jimmy: just keep giving me more and more top news today, you Janis: kind of mate I am Janis: anything to see you 😁 Jimmy: [doing it IRL of course] Janis: [when he still looks good fuming tbh, squishing his face like ugh] Jimmy: [making it into a kissy face like you love me really] Janis: [pushing him away by his face but not as aggressive as that sounds and standing up to get more drinks in as Ian isn't gonna show] Jimmy: [pulls her back not as aggressive as that sounds either lol even though we know she's only leaving to get more drinks] Janis: ['oi!' and a look like whaaaaaa but it's a LOOK] Jimmy: [all the eye contact as he stands up and sit her down in his seat like no no not in your condition I will go] Jimmy: [*** unrelated to what we're doing now but I had an idea that earlier like when Bobby and Libi were doing their goodbyes cos don't need him to translate that Jimothy signed pub? at the bae in irish sign language because he doesn't know much yet and isn't trying hard to learn because he thinks they're gonna leave but he'd have learnt that as a pisstake anyway just wanted to put this here so I didn't forget that lil nugget of info my brain thought up at like 3am***] Janis: [love that for you boy, noted] Janis: [🙄 but loling like alright, if you wanna pay fine by me boy] Jimmy: [signing 'stay' from the bar because I feel like the bubs would've been doing that at Twix and Killer today so we can pretend that's purely pisstakey and no deeper] Janis: [🤨 but in a sassy manner] Janis: coming for my gig now? Jimmy: can't be taking 💰 off you that's 🍼 out the 👶's mouth Janis: you ain't gonna pay for it? Janis: rude Jimmy: OBVS, but I don't reckon 💀👑'll hear and crack on FINALLY 💰 me tips Janis: 💡 Janis: sleep with her dad, tell him it's his Janis: live off that hush 💰 Jimmy: more 🥇💡 DON'T but 🗨 you did after you've put something in his drink/ let him be a massive pisshead on it 'cause you understand him unlike his missus Jimmy: all we've faked up to now, DNA test'd be piss easy Janis: just have to snatch a bit of 💀👑's hair Janis: not hard Janis: saliva and we'd be fucked, dunno if she produces that any more Jimmy: have to hurry while she's still got hair Janis: bet #2 has some Jimmy: go round hers in a bit, can't wait, me Jimmy: 💭 if we found out 💀👑 weren't his Jimmy: they'd both be SO 💔🎻😭 to have to dump each other Janis: I wish Janis: only my family giving that level of drama Jimmy: 💔 you can't use 😭 to do a test, I'd have got Ian to crack on ages ago Janis: whoever's your dad is also Bobby's, that's for sure Jimmy: probably is him then, he ain't the sort to let his missus have bloke mates hanging round that long Janis: soz, mate Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: be a 🥇 looking 👶 at least Jimmy: all our shit parents got that bit right Janis: guess so Janis: tah for the genetics, I'll take it from here Jimmy: [bring those drinks boy and obvs get her up so you can sit back down in your seat and she can sit on you] Janis: [forever and always even though the eye contact it demands is cray, just smiling and drinking our drink] Jimmy: [likewise but also just doodling on her skin absentmindedly because we're in love and probably a bit drunk by now assumedly] Janis: ['you could do that for a job' we mean tattooist but that isn't very clear gal so we must be a lil tipsy] Jimmy: [shoutout to your future child, love that but obvs he's like ? and draws it on her] Janis: [just like ugh at ourselves 'tattoos and shit, you know' shrugs 'you got a plan?'] Jimmy: [just shrugging because we haven't let ourselves think about the future for so many reasons 'do you?'] Janis: ['nah' shakes head 'but I'll get by, don't need more, like'] Jimmy: [nodding because we get it and doing a cheers with this drink] Janis: [drink to that lads 'if anything, easier to walk dogs when I've got a car'] Jimmy: ['any time you wanna borrow Ian's, crack on' we're just thinking that he's too happy and settled rn and we need to annoy him more lol] Janis: [😏 and cheersing again like tah] Jimmy: number of 🐕s, should probably nick a 🚍 instead though Janis: can do that too Jimmy: can 😴 there an' all if you need to Jimmy: stretch out Janis: living in one seems like something my ma'd do though Janis: ❌ Jimmy: bet your shit nan's church group'd have their 👀 on it Janis: [visibly 😒] Janis: goes without saying Jimmy: [a lil feelsy lean like soz because we know she sucks even if we don't know what happened] Janis: [using it to push him off in a jokey get off kinda way, like you ain't sat on him rn] Jimmy: [messing about like you're both gonna dramatically fall off this chair but then lowkey hurting himself a lil bit though we're obvs playing that off as fake too but it's real because yet again we've had a very busy day and done so much as if we're perfectly fine] Janis: [picking him back up and steadying him like you okay boy? and nudging his drink towards his lips like that'll help] Jimmy: [down that drink boy] Janis: [just lowkey having a feel of his stomach/ribs etc like you gotta check] Jimmy: [😏 cos we're pretending she's doing it to flirt with us obvs like she just can't keep her hands to herself ever which is true but also shh sir] Janis: [going with it 'cos not not true and we know it makes him awks but we still wanna] Jimmy: [kissing her because we always just want to] Janis: [have this makeout sesh whilst giving him a massage casually] Jimmy: [excuse us people in this pub] Janis: [looks dodgier than it is frankly] Jimmy: [love how shameless you both are and how often you just behave like you're the only two people around] Janis: [we're so unbothered by other people unless they're really in our faces about it] Jimmy: [mhmm hence we're just saying we missed her and how much in between kisses because we have and we're obvs so into everything she's doing rn] Janis: ['did you?' 'cos 'course we don't believe him/it] Jimmy: [stop kissing her for long enough you can hold that eye contact so she knows you mean it but then kiss her more intensely obvs] Janis: [going in even harder 'cos definition of !!! about it] Jimmy: [have a moment because it's deserved and needed and it'll shut him up from saying any more for a sec] Janis: [saying nothing in this pub but people should do something/be staring or say something so we can move huuuuuuuun] Jimmy: [that's realistic so yes] Janis: [we going about this town] Jimmy: [twirl her like you would've done when you were at this kid's party earlier please boy] Janis: [dance down these streets but don't fall tah] Jimmy: [and don't knock into anyone either because we don't need that drama] Janis: [no fighting shakira shakira] Jimmy: [not tonight thank you] Janis: [we gotta get drunk and spill secrets] Jimmy: [confess as many feelings as we dare] Janis: [heheheh, getting shots in that vein] Jimmy: [good idea boo] Janis: 🥃🥃🥃 Jimmy: 🥳🥳🥳 Janis: partying for 2 Jimmy: remind me to @ Asia 7 years from now to let her know how to throw a 🎁🎂🎈 that ain't all 💅💄 Janis: you ain't bad at face painting Janis: can have that Jimmy: tah very much Jimmy: be alright as long as Libi don't have me doing it whenever I see her Jimmy: be a bit weird if I have to carry a full face painting kit about Janis: you don't need to be that whipped Janis: won't hurt her to hear a nah every once and a while Jimmy: no need to be jealous, Jules Jimmy: you're still my muse Janis: piss off Jimmy: I'll 🥺🥺 for 2 if you make me Janis: go ahead Jimmy: [does] Janis: [regret 'cos we feeling all the things now] Jimmy: [carve that JJ love heart into the pub table like see you're my muse and ILY] Janis: [just tracing our finger round and round this heart] Jimmy: [literally is about to draw a heart on her and I'm like boy stop] Janis: ['your ex really cheat on you?' like why would he lie, but can't believe it] Jimmy: ['what kind of question is that?' because genuinely not something he expected her to ask rn] Janis: [a shrug like soz 'just what I was thinking about'] Jimmy: [a nudge but a gentle one 'what you thinking about her for?' sir she's thinking about you] Janis: [tuts like ugh, making me explain myself, how rude lol 'are you a shit real boyfriend or what?' like why would she if you were how you're faking now] Jimmy: [a shrug like 1. probably because the messy time after his mum disappeared 2. they were young af and neither of them had good role models clearly but we don't wanna really get into either of those things 'depends on the scale' like compared to who hun because lbr not an Ian or Mia's dad but we weren't #goals] Janis: [nods like we get it 'cos we do even though not personally like that might suggest, the shakes her head like let's move on 'cos accidentally brought the vibe down and we didn't mean to 'whatever, none of my business'] Jimmy: [leaves the ex's @ in this chat whatever it is like @ her for her POV if you like but irl we're shrugging again because we're so over her just not the mum mems of that era] Janis: 🤐 Janis: [dranking this drank faster] Jimmy: [nudges her like hey it's alright] Jimmy: *🔊 Janis: [😏 'not there yet' like let's go back to bants] Jimmy: where are you then? Janis: 🥺 of course Janis: you're quite inspiring too Jimmy: show me Janis: [😳 and can't do it back 'cos now we've got the giggles like stop it] Janis: can't just 👏 like Jimmy: [we're just 😍 af because she's adorable bye] Jimmy: alright, if there's no 👏 have to take back that 🌹 and your 🏆s Jimmy: go together them Janis: well now I'm 😠 Janis: [does that instead] Jimmy: [does a 📷 mime and then wordlessly goes to get her some kind of forfeit drink for not being oscar worthy af] Janis: [doing it now he's further away 'cos easier] Jimmy: you're rude, said it earlier Janis: you Jimmy: you Janis: [points] Jimmy: [signs it which I lowkey do think is just a point but anyway] Janis: 👆 Janis: the point emojis are crap Jimmy: 💔 Janis: looks more come here Janis: which don't not work rn but Jimmy: but do come here Janis: [making our way over, of course] Jimmy: [checking her out as she does obvs and when she does get there gesturing like get this barman's attention please because it's busy but she's a hot girl so she'll have more luck] Janis: [do the least to do the most such is your privilege babe] Jimmy: [kiss her like thank you because we weren't trying to stand there all night] Janis: [the barman like aw lmao] Jimmy: #👻problems Janis: #🍆problems Jimmy: fuming if it's a not a lass serving next Janis: fuming if it is, obvs Jimmy: if you're 😠 again, I'll be back at chuffed to bits Jimmy: so cute Janis: [fake punches him] Jimmy: [writes hate across her knuckles because I am not letting you write love boy stop it] Janis: [takes off the e by pretending to cut off the pinky] Jimmy: [😏 and draws the 🎩 on the back of her hand for that irish af vibe] Janis: [writes 'pot' on the other hand like there you go, pot of gold too] Jimmy: [draw a 🌈 on that one and 💰] Janis: [lols like lovely 'told you you had a future in it'] Jimmy: [just shaking his head because we can't take a compliment] Jimmy: you gonna name this 👶 something I can't pronounce or what? Janis: [raising our brows sassily like not hard] Janis: you can name it Janis: guilt trip move Jimmy: 🤔🤔💭 Jimmy: What's Mia's daddy's name? Jimmy: got a lie to sell here Janis: 🤔 Janis: maybe Michael or something, idk Janis: Miles Jimmy: Miley he'll love that Janis: meet your new sister Mia Jimmy: sister and step mum Janis: not even weird for me Jimmy: Libi must've missed that bit when she were doing the family tree Janis: thank fuck Janis: only so much you need to hear Jimmy: what were it you said about my ages old 💔? Jimmy: nowt to do with me, that Janis: nor me Jimmy: I told you before, up to you what you wanna 🗨 Janis: you pick Jimmy: your full list's all I want Janis: [a LOOK] Jimmy: [one back always] Jimmy: you owe me the one Janis: true Janis: remind me what I've said Jimmy: 1. 🚬👃 2. 🎤🗨 3. 💋 4. 🖕✌️🤟 is a might be, you never said it were or weren't for definite 5. 🤝 6. 💫 dunno what else to do for freckles so Janis: [impressed he remembered 'cos obviously did not just look through like my boo just had to lol] Janis: don't wanna repeat, wouldn't be fair Jimmy: [when it's really important to you because you literally told her in that convo that nobody has ever been this nice to you and it's obvs true] Jimmy: so go on Janis: it's unfair you took 👀s Janis: when yours are like ☀️ Janis: but I like your brows too Jimmy: you're ☀ Jimmy: and you know I'm fuming you took 💋 an' all Jimmy: but we've both got smell on there so I'm not gonna stop you rating what you rate Janis: take it as a whole Janis: you have pretty lashes too Janis: it's Jimmy: that'll get out of hand when I just say your entire face Jimmy: or your whole body Janis: everything about you Jimmy: that an' all Janis: [and I oop, just like our drink looks so interesting rn because dying] Jimmy: [a soft 'hey' because of course like 👀 at me] Janis: [you gotta look up gal 'yeah?' also soft] Jimmy: [gestures at her to come here like you literally didn't just get kicked out of a pub for this] Janis: [do though who are we] Jimmy: [we're softly but insistently kissing the bae's throat like we can coax words out cos so much we wanna say and so much we wanna hear] Janis: [the noise we are making, running our hands through his hair goes to gripping it 'you're not-' 'I'm supposed-' can we finish a sentence? no] Jimmy: [just doing it again like do you wanna finish a sentence gal and not at all because of her other reaction of course not] Janis: ['stop it' but in the most don't stop tone imaginable 'cos at least that's a sentence] Jimmy: [we're not but we are smooching the side of her neck instead] Janis: ['coming for my gig again' and moving to the side so you've gotta smooch for reals] Jimmy: [have a lil make out lads] Janis: [again lollol] Jimmy: [can't and won't be tamed, we're doing what we want tonight] Janis: [speaking of, you should get some good scran, idk what but I'm sure there's some bomb takeout vibes] Jimmy: [definitely, I doubt there was much savoury food at that party] Janis: [you can walk n eat n mayhaps talk hmm] Jimmy: [and snuggle because it's probably cold] Janis: [even if it's stopped snowing, deffo] Jimmy: [obvs just nudging her as you go along like you alright? because this boy loves checking in] Janis: [nudges him back like aren't you?] Jimmy: [smiling because we're having a lovely time] Janis: [😍 'good'] Jimmy: [😍 and doing the handhold swingy thing as we walk] Janis: ['you're alright, you know, not boring' just sounds like you thought he was but we mean in comparison to other peeps] Jimmy: ['when did you reckon I were boring? but we're amused 'bit rude'] Janis: [a face like oi but also amused 'no, I just didn't know you weren't before'] Jimmy: ['I knew you weren't' which makes you sound like a stalker or something lol but we're too drunk to think that through clearly] Janis: ['no you didn't' not just to be contrary we're just like lies lmao] Jimmy: [his own oi face 'wouldn't have picked you if I didn't' because true] Janis: [just narrowing our eyes like suspish but okay 'well I knew you didn't chat shit constantly, or try hard like most lads do' shrugs like bitch I noticed you too] Jimmy: [🤐 mime like well yeah I don't say anything and shrugging back 'no need' because he doesn't feel like he has anything to brag about genuinely and obvs we don't have any reason to try hard for the people we don't care about] Janis: [just gesturing like yes, my point exactly 'don't stop 'em, does it'] Jimmy: [gets out the phone we've literally not looked at all night, frowns at it and puts it back without actually bothering to do anything except make a point 'the lasses either, but that's not the kind of dickheads we are'] Janis: [shakes her head like no we are not and puts her hand out for him to shake] Jimmy: [does and then does pull her in for a hug because always 'chuffed it were you' from within this hug] Janis: ['we've done a good job' also from within the hug] Jimmy: [shaking his head because we don't wanna call it a job when literally you always do sir and also that now looks like you don't think this is going well] Janis: [looking at him when you pull back like ? because how it looks] Jimmy: ['not just a shift I'm putting in, you'] Janis: ['I dunno why I had a go about that' just like how cringe of me to show I gave a shit ugh] Jimmy: ['don't you?' and a shrug 'alright then' like oh are we just pretending we don't give a shit tonight okay cos we're sassy] Janis: [little lol 'don't take the piss' 'you know what I mean. meant. whatever'] Jimmy: ['don't sound like me that' 😏 because she literally said he's not a dickhead but he takes the piss] Janis: [getting SO close and making him stop walking so you can whisper in his ear 'it sounds exactly like you' and nipping his earlobe when you say 'sounds'] Jimmy: [saying 'fuck' with SO much feeling how they do] Janis: [nods like that's what I want to and looks around like we picked the wrong location lol] Jimmy: [looks in the direction they'd have to go to retrace their steps like if you wanna go we can go because Ian's stash forever] Janis: [follows his gaze like we could but eventually shakes her head 'we've got time, more places you need to see first if you wanna be a proper tourist'] Jimmy: [nods because 🥇 or nowt is the mantra but we're kissing her really hard first so she knows we're not just chill and we feel the tension and want the same things] Janis: [have your moment and take one before the next location] Jimmy: [for once I doubt you're the only peeps being extra at least such are the joys of town] Janis: [people always cracking on you're fine, even if you cared, which we are far beyond] Jimmy: [mhmm] Janis: [full drunk by now, never mind all our feels] Jimmy: [they should go somewhere they can do some grooving because not something they've done a lot of because of her ankle happening] Janis: [good thinking boo, hit the clerb, whole different vibe] Jimmy: [how cinematic when juxtaposed against the dancing at the kids party earlier lol] Janis: [day and night honey] Jimmy: [another good excuse for more shots because you can't dance and hold a big drink] Janis: [ooh, maybe Harry could be there Janis: we can just see and ignore him but intro that 'cos haven't yey] Jimmy: [I just nearly gasped because yes we do need to do that before all the sports stuff starts and she runs into him in a way she can't swerve] Janis: [it seems legit you could be out with your mates boy, you could be a bit older/look it too, it's believable you ain't the gals, maybe if she's getting drinks or Jimmy is he can come up but it'll look like just another random tryna hit her up] Jimmy: [that seems legit to me too] Janis: [but obviously it'd put her in some type of mood] Jimmy: [might also open a line of dialogue though so] Janis: [mhmm] Jimmy: [what way round do you wanna do it because obvs if he goes to get drinks and comes back to find them talking or whatever he'll be like bitch excuse me but if she was getting drinks and runs into him that way he won't even see Harry/know about that interaction] Janis: [maybe he goes to get them, it makes it easier, even if Harry literally walks away as he comes back 'cos that kind of snekk, he'd still see but they always getting hit on so he wouldn't assume that was responsible and be like oh I get it, yknow] Jimmy: [he'll just be like 🤨 looking him over as Harry walks away  but yeah not concerned and more jokey because it does happen always and he knows she can handle it] Janis: [just 😒 watching him go] Jimmy: [handing her these shots because we just think like we said he's a stranger and she'll be over it in a sec] Janis: [down it with vigour hun] Jimmy: [likewise because that's just how shots are, you gotta go in] Janis: [ick] Jimmy: [have never enjoyed a single one I've ever had but they are not J potato] Janis: [who is babe, go get your groove on aggressively] Jimmy: [hope it's not a slow jam and I especially hope Harry is not also hitting the dancefloor with some gal] Janis: [oh lawd, we're not doing that cliche of catching eyes dancing with other people boy, I think not] Jimmy: [you think you're that important Harold but you're honestly not] Janis: [accidentally making him think you're that into him, nah] Jimmy: [but anyway I shall start a convo when we've been dancing for an age and you're clearly still 😒 hun] Jimmy: What? Janis: what do you mean what? Jimmy: what's wrong? Janis: what do you reckon makes clubs smell so bad Janis: apart from all the sweat, that's obvious Jimmy: answer me, dickhead Janis: I'm alright, seriously Jimmy: bollocks Janis: ugh Janis: it's nothing though Jimmy: *something Jimmy: you wanna go outside? Janis: [mimes 🚬] Janis: sure Jimmy: [taking her hand like let's go] Janis: [smoking area moment, not like you'll be alone they're always packed] Jimmy: [lighting you both up and giving her a sec] Janis: ['just know that lad' shrugging like that explains that] Jimmy: ['and what?' because we're not letting it just drop] Janis: [after a while thinking and stopping and starting 'and- everyone else is a dickhead, yeah'] Jimmy: how much of a dickhead is he? Janis: no more than average, I suppose Janis: 💪🍆🔥👑 Janis: you know the sort Jimmy: yeah, what I dunno is why you're so bothered Janis: just didn't fancy seeing anyone I knew out Jimmy: you barely did do Janis: then let's go somewhere else after this Janis: forget about it Janis: [smiling at him like it's not fake but we're forcing this vibe rn] Jimmy: can you? Janis: yeah Jimmy: alright Janis: sorry Janis: he's just some twat Jimmy: you heard Jimmy: it's alright Janis: its not Janis: we're having a nice time Janis: meant to be Jimmy: I meant, he's doing your head in, you're not doing in mine Jimmy: we're alright Jimmy: nice is a bit rude though, as descriptions go Janis: [a LOOK up like 😏] Janis: how'd you describe it then Jimmy: not like we're sat in having a ☕🍪 with our kid and his missus Jimmy: but if you need a review then Jimmy: 🥇 Jimmy: that'd be it Janis: are you saying that's the definition of nice or a better time Janis: either way I have some questions Jimmy: what kind of question is that? Jimmy: it's obvs the definition of nice 👵👴💕 Janis: [shakes head as we get up like oh you 'leave you to it then'] Jimmy: [not letting you go gal putting his arms around her like no no 'Oi, I just gave you a top review, what more do you want?'] Janis: ['can always do better' and taking his hand like let's go, stay outta our way Hazza we got places to be] Jimmy: ['than you rating me boring and nice, yeah' but we're amused of course and doing another twirl as we go] Janis: ['I did not!' and a pouty face like how dare YOU suggest I did] Jimmy: [thank god we can do the pouty lip thing this time and nothing can stop us] Janis: [freedom] Jimmy: [You're welcome lads] Janis: [y'all can do what you want like going to the toilets and living that cliche moment] Jimmy: [not the first time, we all remember pub crawl, but it would be busier so pluses and minuses to that] Janis: [we gotta for a myriad of reasons still not about you though Harry but you've put us in a mood to prove some things so tah] Jimmy: [mhmm] Janis: [get out of this clerb and into a different one, better or worse, idk what's more fun tbh] Jimmy: [again it's not about you Harold] Janis: [soz we have such a dramatic reaction to seeing you lmao like hell to the no] Jimmy: [it's deserved you're not a good egg] Janis: [we'd be more chill if we weren't drunk, like he's just gonna come over and ruin everything, he might try tbf, run lads and continue grooving] Jimmy: [we're on a touristy tour here sir gotta move along] Janis: [you are not invited good day, back on the shots shots shots] Jimmy: [don't at all look forward to seeing you soon hun] Janis: [at least we're not doing the grace of it all now, although, continuously triggering everyone 'cos that's what they think Liam did with Edie to be around Rio, which yeah at first but shh] Jimmy: [the temptation to do that again now you've said that lol] Janis: [yeah, it came to me as I typed it lol] Jimmy: [fuck it let's do it, we can totally make him her baby daddy for that hot sec to really trigger everyone haha] Janis: [no offence to your barrenness but THANK GOD don't actually need babies from lies] Jimmy: [I can't do that to you gal even if we could] Janis: [would not be cute, he'd be tryna pay for your abortion like] Jimmy: [it's so far from #goals as is nobody needs that] Janis: [it's even worse than drew and caleb soz my love but no, hence ali had to be like no no in that convo we did when we did it before] Jimmy: [but what if that's when she gets her nose ring because it's like a Cameron trying to get Nicki to wear Chloe's lipstick situation!] Janis: [🤢 OMG, you can use all the really tryhard stuff of late, like, we know you would babe] Jimmy: [Sammi's moment of trying to be black will actually be useful to me, who knew] Janis: [just thinking about the wurls wig and dying 'cos it looked so bad oh gal] Jimmy: [HARD SAME] Janis: [and I oop, we're gonna lose our mind with you] Jimmy: [the drama] Janis: [oh lord] Jimmy: [anyways back to this, do you wanna do a skip or have you got things you wanna have happen rn off the back of this Harry situation?] Janis: [we can probably skip to going home even? we know how the nights gonna go and it'll be fun and feelsy but that's the STAY of it all] Jimmy: [true I just didn't wanna rush you gal if you had stuff you wanted to say or do before that so] Janis: [nah we good I just wanted to establish him so when he crops back up later we've got this vague memory like oh] Jimmy: [it was a good way to do it boo, good thinking] Janis: [big brain booty] Janis: [where would you like to hook up/where are you then gonna try to leave from] Jimmy: [do you wanna be at his gaff or are you thinking before they get there?] Janis: [his makes sense for going to mcvickers after] Jimmy: [be having a nightcap and all the sauciness that entails but then try and leave gal] Janis: [like gotta go before anyone wakes, sure you're being well loud tbh lads but okay] Jimmy: [as excuses go a very legit one and also the bubs do wake up well early like what time even is it] Janis: [but also who cares you've been on a minibreak together] Jimmy: [literally] Janis: [baby its cold outside Jimmy: [what's your vibe like is she gonna say anything or is she just casually getting ready to leave?] Janis: [I think just getting ready when she thinks he's passed out but we're drunk so we're clearly not making a good go of doing it stealth here lol] Jimmy: [obvs gonna chuck something at her then like excuse you] Janis: [#shooketh and thus doing angry whispers 'what was that for dickhead?!'] Jimmy: ['where you going?' as if that's not obvious because we're drunk so it's not] Janis: [dramatically shushing him which in itself is louder than you're being already probs 'trying not to wake anybody up here'] Jimmy: [a sarcastic but amused 👍 because that's going well and then repeating our question] Janis: [throwing whatever he threw at us back like don't be fucking rude 'home' which you gotta stop saying when you mean mcvickers 'cos sounds like you planning to trek] Jimmy: [catching it and being really proud of ourselves with our expression but then frowning because we do think she means she's going home 'you're not, there's no buses for ages' because again what weird am is this lol] Janis: [😏 and a sassy fake clap for him 'Oh, I mean my nans' like my bad 'before he's getting up for work or...whatever'] Jimmy: [dramatically shushing her for the clap like she did to him a sec ago 'it's the weekend' because it is 'only dickheads like us do Sundays'] Janis: ['oh' when you genuinely forgot but now it seems like you lyin' lmao] Jimmy: [when you get up v dramatically to be up in her grill like 👀 cos are you lying gal but when we're standing there we just get distracted by like moving her hair out of her face and fixing her clothes and generally being soft and close and helpful] Janis: ['you-' and then getting distracted by his lack of clothing for a sec like oh '-you don't have to be nice, you know'] Jimmy: ['stop calling me nice, dickhead' but softer than the words suggest and not just because we are this close and whispering] Janis: ['stop being nice then' in a challenge type of way] Jimmy: [push her back onto this bed boy but in a hot way not a dangerous one] Janis: [definition of that 😈 tbh] Jimmy: [whatever she's managed to put on he's taking off, RIP to this dress or whatever if you don't survive] Janis: [running our fingers through his hair again for the throwback to earlier 'you're SO nice, baby'] Jimmy: [giving her a massive lovebite near to wherever he did that first one way earlier and going as hard for that throwback as well because we're 😈 ] Janis: [when you're egging him on telling him how nice he is over and over but then you do the biggest gasp] Jimmy: [going over the OG one as well because it's right there tempting us 'I'll do whatever you want for as long as you're here, nice, not nice, owt else' like don't go gal] Janis: [just about getting out 'but what do you want?'] Jimmy: ['you' because true and we're drunk so we can answer a question 'I keep saying I don't want you to go anywhere' because he literally said it on the school trip in those words when they were doing an activity and having a little domestic and god knows how many times we've either said it or tried to make it clear since] Janis: ['me...' which we ALMOST phrase as a question, such is our disbelief/how much we've been caught off guard by that despite how obvious it is to us all but it's okay catch up gal 'and I keep saying you can have me' because we have and we mean it] Jimmy: ['you say it but then you- look and gesture towards the door like you were literally trying to leave and you know we're thinking about when she properly left] Janis: ['I never wanna stay if you want me to leave' a pause like I know that doesn't sound like it makes sense now you've said that but 'because I wanna be with you a lot...like all the fucking time and-'] Jimmy: ['I don't want either of us to leave' the tea and also how sad and soft his voice would be about that because we think it's looming over us 'if I had any fucking choice, I'd pick this, just give me the same back'] Janis: [kissing him hard, but not JUST kissing him like we usually would when we can't say what we want/don't know what to say 'okay' just as sad but serious like this ain't no game 'I'm scared but okay'] Jimmy: [holding her but not JUST how he would when he doesn't want her to go 'it's alright, when you're about, I'm not' like you can be scared gal cos I feel safe with you and it's the only time I ever do so I've got this] Janis: ['that's why I am' from deep inside this hug like we barely saying it but we are] Jimmy: ['bit of pressure, I get it' because we know we're saying there that everything else is shit and you're the only good thing keeping us going and that's a lot] Janis: [shaking our head 'I mean-' big sigh 'cos even if we're drunk it's a lot to say '-the more amazing it is now, the more there's going to be to miss'] Jimmy: ['there were loads to miss ages ago' because lbr the moment you started this you were in too deep and deeper than you've been with anyone else 'it weren't like owt else I've felt kissing any other lass soon as we had that first go at it' drunkenly spilling that tea] Janis: ['Ive never felt anything before' 'cos likewise] Jimmy: ['alright, no need to one up me that hard' cos you don't believe that's even possible lowkey when she clearly feels so much with you] Janis: [soft nudge 'I can't help the truth'] Jimmy: [one back obvs 'as competitions go, not fuming to lose this one'] Janis: ['I have kissed other people' like don't think he thought you were saying that but okay] Jimmy: [a sound like yeah obvs/no shit because we weren't thinking that 'but they were shitter at it than whatever review of me you're gonna @ my ex for, I get it' because not letting go that she brought that up but we're not mad about it still just amused] Janis: ['must be' shrugs 'knock to the ego can't hurt' not gonna go drunk text him the shade though tah 'was not, I was just asking a question' like stop it but we're not mad really] Jimmy: ['I don't care about how them dickheads feel, her included, just you'] Janis: [smile 'I can get behind that'] Jimmy: [smile back 😍] Janis: ['you're the cutest person I've ever seen' and putting our fingers in his dimples like oop] Jimmy: [a lil lol which we can't help even as we shake our head because no gal you are 'need to look in the mirror more, you'] Jimmy: [lowkey trying to drag her to where the nearest mirror is like is that even this room or are you trying to go to the bathroom? boy shh] Janis: [don't actually wake this bub you're lowkey too drunk to deal with him boy, 'cos we're so amused and playfighting him as silently as we can like noooo 'you you you'] Jimmy: [thank god we made him deaf because Libi would 1000% be awake by now lol, just drunkenly taking so many pictures of her face and so many weird close ups as we playfight and showing her them all like no look it's you] Janis: [just a fight to delete them as if 1. you look bad in any really 2. he's just gonna post them all rn] Jimmy: [we know you just wanna fight so he can pin you again for that saucy throwback] Janis: [obvs, we do not need to deny] Jimmy: [we'll let you have that moment and ensuing hook up during which you can call her baby in a way that is not at all a pisstake for the first time because we're drunk and feelsy enough for this] Janis: [just die bye, safe to say you won't be trying to go anywhere after that] Jimmy: [you gotta snuggle and snooze and be happy]

[jacobseedvaas35]

Befriended

(Chapter 4: Returning Ex)

Warnings: (domestic abuse)

Word Count: 1527

Sunday went past pretty fast, considering how bad the storm was. Living near a forest was not easy during stormy days. The thunderstorms sound bad and Isabella was certain that the lightning hit a couple of different trees. The sound of the smash got to her too scared, she ended up running to Jacob house for the day. Lucky for her, the storm was over by the evening and she was able to go back home.

Now it was Monday and her first day at her new job. It was still raining but the weather was definitely not like yesterday. Isabella examined herself in the locker room, looking at her badge. 'Hope County Deputy'. She smiled and then walked out of the room.

"Rook. My office" Sheriff Whitehorse called out.

Isabella nodded and headed to the Sheriff's office. "Good morning Sir".

"Good morning. Welcome to your first day to the job. How you feeling?" Sheriff Whitehorse asked.

"Nervous but excited as well".

"You'll be ok. Just stick with Hudson and Pratt. Sit down" the sheriff said and Isabella complied. "Tell me. How's things going with Jacob?"

"I'd like to say good. We had dinner on Saturday, at my place. We spoke and got to know each other a bit. We've made plans to have dinner at each other's houses two times a week" Isabella explained.

"You're doing well Rookie"

"Yeah. And he was kind enough to take me in yesterday, when I got scared of the storm. So you can say things are going well"

"I'm glad to hear. What approach are you taking?" Sheriff Whitehorse asked with curiousness.

"Friendly but a mix of flirtatious as well"

"How's he taking the flirting?"

"He seems ok with it. Flirts with me as well. The other day, I walked out to check my mailbox and I forgot that I was in my night gown. Jacob complimented my appearance and walked away".

"Good job Rookie. Sounds like he is interested in you".

"Really?" Isabella asked, thinking about it herself.

"Sounds like it. Who knows, maybe all Jacob needs is someone in his life" The Sheriff said, throwing hints at Isabella.

Isabella started blushing, understanding what the Sheriff was trying to say. "Sir. I'm not ready for any relationships at this stage. Not after my last one".

"I understand. Probably none of my business but may I suggest, friends with benefit?" The sheriff suggested with a smile on his face.

"Are you really suggesting that I sleep around with Jacob Seed? I've never thought I'd see the day a boss suggesting such a thing to his workers" Isabella laughed.

"You don't really understand how important it is to have Jacob on the good side"

"I do understand but..."

"Rookie, I wouldn't suggest such a thing if I had no other choice. These Seed brothers, they are very lustful people and sex is the only way to convince them. How do you think we got John and Joseph on our side?"

"Oh wow. Let me guess Hudson was part of it?" Isabella guessed.

"You can say that but her and John are now married, so...." sheriff whitehorse shrugged and laughed.

Isabella sighed and finally accepted the Sheriff's suggestion. Not only was she going to befriend Jacob Seed but now she had to find a way to get him in her bed. Even though she was not that type of girl, for her career it was something she had to do.

-

Nearly a month went by since Sheriff Whitehorse's "Friends With Benefits" suggestion was given but Isabella continued to take things slow with Jacob. Like they spoke, the two of them had dinner at each other's houses on Mondays and Friday's. The two were getting along very well and Isabella started to grow something feelings for Jacob. Now she was ready to start phase two.

She was heading home from work, Friday late afternoon. The sun was still out and the weather was just as warm as the morning. She parked her car in her driveway and made her way to the door, before being stopped by a familiar voice. Much to her fear, Isabella turned around and came face to face with her abusive ex-fiancé.

"Mark? What the hell are you doing here? How did you even find me?" Isabella started questioning him. The terror growing slowly.

"Your parents told me you moved here and it wasn't too hard to find you. After all, I know you career and knew where to find you" Mark explained.

"Leave. Right now" Isabella said.

"No can do. We need to talk"

"Talk? Or beat me up?"

Without saying anything, Mark raised his hand in the air and slapped Isabella. He grabbed a fistful of her hair and slammed her body into his. "Oh Bella, how I've missed you".

"LET ME GO" Isabella started screaming and crying.

Mark lifted his knee and with a big force, slammed his knee into her stomach, causing Bella to scream her lungs out and fall onto the ground. "I've got a lot of anger built up in me Bella. You thought being a police officer was going to save you from me? I'm not scared" Mark said and laid a punch on his face.

"HELP!" Bella yelped, hoping someone was near. She waited for Mark to lay more punches but something didn't seem right. He went silent and no punches were laid. Bella looked up and instead, saw Mark lying on the floor. She took a better look and saw Jacob standing at Mark's feet. "Jacob" she whispered.

"So you like hitting girls, hey?" Jacob said angrily and kicked Mark's legs so hard, he yelled with pain. He grabbed Mark's shirt and lifted him up, before punching him hard in the face. Mark fell onto the ground again and blood started pouring out of his mouth. Jacob took that as a sign to leave him and go and check on Isabella.

"Jacob" Bella said out loud, wrapped her arms around Jacob's neck and cried as he lifted her up, into her feet.

"You ok Bella?" He asked, examining her up and down. "Shit, your nose is bleeding".

"I'm okay" Bella said and hugged Jacob again.

Jacob turned around and watched Mark stand up slowly. Isabella felt so good seeing Mark in bad condition. He got what he deserved. Especially after all those times he put her through the same thing.

"This isn't over Bella. Your mine" Mark said through his bloody mouth.

"I'm not yours anymore Mark. Never will be" Bella yelled back, taking Mark by shock. This was the first time she ever spoke back to him with such a tone.

"She's mine now" Jacob added. "And you'll have to get through me, to get her. You touch her again and next time, I'll fucking kill you".

Jacob's words scared Mark. He finally realised that Isabella wasn't alone anymore and that he wasn't ever going to get to her easy again. The man that was protecting her was a big and strong man and by the looks of his dog tags and army jacket, he was an ex-military guy.

"She's yours huh?" Mark asked, trying to get more information about the two of them.

"You fucking bet" Jacob growled and that's as enough for Mark to run off. He turned back to Isabella and made sure she was okay again. "Come on, I'll clean you up" Jacob said and helped her to his house.

Jacob made Bella sit on the couch, while he got some items to help with her bleeding nose. When he returned, he immediately got down to cleaning Bella.

"Thanks Jacob" Bella said, very appreciative for Jacob's help.

"No worries. Who was that?" Jacob asked.

Bella sighed and looked at Jacob, "my ex-fiancé".

"You we're engaged?"

"Yeah. Thanks to my stupid parents".

"Has he always been like this? You know? Abusive?"

"Yes. I was with him for a whole year and in that year, day and night, he use to beat me up. My parents did nothing about it. They let him do it" Bella explained.

"What kind of parents let their daughter get beaten up every day".

"My parents. They were happy for me to get beaten up because at the end of the day, it was his money that they had their eyes on"

"Ahh that explains it. Rich guy?"

"Yep. Hadn't seen him for months" Bella grabbed Jacob's hand, looked him deep in the eyes and started to cry. "Jacob, I'm so scared. He'll come back for me".

"Not when I'm around. He won't lay another finger on you Bella" Jacob reassured her.

"You don't understand. He'll come for me when I'm home alone or at night, by breaking into my house. He found me again and he isn't going to let me go that easily".

"You're not alone anymore. If I have to, I'll stay with you, day and night" Jacob said, putting his hand on her cheek.

"You'll do that?"

"If you want me too Bella, I'll definitely stay with you".

"Thank you Jacob" Bella said, finally at ease. No more worries about her ex.

[justinsdaysinthedark]

Post # 6 - It is what it is

I'd be lying if I said I haven't spent the past half an hour with tears flowing from my eyes staring at a blank screen wondering how I'm going to get everything I've got floating in my head out. I suppose listening to Coldplay live in Argentina probably wasn't the best choice of music to set the mood. I'll work on that one in the future...

Where do I start? It's been a question I'm often asking myself at the start of these blog posts and it's certainly not the easiest one. What do you guys know? There's been so much happen since my last post on Thursday night.

Friday July 26th: I saw my doctors around lunchtime who came in quite concerned. Whilst they were confident my lymphoma was one called DLBCL (Diffuse Large B- Cell Lymphoma), some tests had come back with suspect results that it could be a more aggressive and harsh type of lymphoma called Burkitt's lymphoma and if confirmed, chemo was starting that night with no time to waste. There was also one marked in the middle (a cross of the two) called Burkitt's Like Lymphoma which is treated similarly to DLBCL. Whatever it was, I couldn't change it. I just wanted answers and if treatment needed to start, let's get it underway!

Adam, my incredible haematology doctor sent off another test of my gall bladder to finally get the confirmation I was after. It was urgent. He had to know. It was reassuring of Adam to state "Justin, we need to know what this is. Preliminary results are due back later this afternoon and that will hopefully rule out Burkitt's. if it is Burkitt's, we'll start chemo tonight and I'll be with you every step of the way - even if I have to stay back a few hours."

I know doctors earn a fair coin on a lazy day, but how many give you that much confidence that you and your health is important to them? I'm going to have it a guess and say not many but alas, I am so incredibly lucky with the team of doctors I have.

4:00pm and Adam strolls in the door heading straight for my room. My heart drops, similarly to what it had when Michael dropped the news I had lymphoma. "Good news. Preliminary results are back and we're confident it's not Burkitt's. You can't rule out anything in life, so there still is a small chance it could be. We're happy to wait for the final results on Monday, figure out a treatment plan from there and start Chemotherapy next week. Spend Saturday and Sunday on day leave and I'll see you next week."

This was news to my ears. In a time of what has been negative or no news, I could spend the weekend with family relatively freely and forget everything was happening for a few hours each day. My Uncle Bob and Aunty Denise were down from Tasmania to see me, as was my Aunty AJ and cousins from Bairnsdale so it all felt like it fit into place.

Friday night saw me considerably more relaxed with this news...that was until Collingwood started and it was the demolition it was. Slightly humorous side note, the nurse came in around 9pm for my nightly observations. Naturally, my heart rate was up a bit more than normal watching the football (118BPM - normally between 70-85BPM). This caused the nurse to call in the team of doctors who wanted to put me on an ECG machine for the night and monitor my heart. I assured them it was because Collingwood were on and if they gave me an hour, I'd be okay. It took some convincing, but it finally worked. Back they came an hour later and it had gone down - crisis averted.

Saturday afternoon and evening was wonderful. I went down to dads for dinner and was fortunate enough to spend some much needed time with family over a beautiful dinner and good laugh.

Sunday was much the same. I went home, mum did a fair chunk of washing for me as I spent it being me. Seeing Courtney, napping in my own bed and even headed over to Fountain Gate and got some much needed new clothes and other miscellaneous items - something that seems so simple but is such a luxury when you've spent the past 15 days in hospital.

Monday July 29th: They say the more you think positively, the more positive news you shall receive....or it goes something like that right? I woke up this morning the most upbeat and best I'd felt in weeks. I felt fine. I felt no pain, almost like I'd woken up from a shitty hotel! In all honesty, I felt like I'm abusing the system however I keep being quickly reminded how much I need to be here. Did I wake up so positive because I lived my old life for 16 hours over the weekend? Is it because I was hoping to hear a reasonably positive outcome with this lymphoma test? Probably a mix of both if I'm honest. But whatever it was, I was hopeful.

Adam came around at roughly 10:00am. Didn't really have much for me in terms of news but more of an outline of the day. If they hear the results of the test they were waiting on, they'd write me up a treatment plan ASAP and get chemo started this afternoon. At worst, I'd be starting it tomorrow (Tuesday). They just needed that definitive answer of what type of lymphoma I have - an answer I'd love more than anybody.

Either way, we agreed i'd need a PICC (Peripherally Inserted Central Catheter) line in which basically is a long-term cannula. It runs from the inside of my arm right up and around and stops basically just outside my heart. This is for easy access for the chemotherapy and even an easy exit for blood tests - something that's proven incredibly difficult to take from me over the past few days. Additionally, these lines can last up to six months verses the three days you get from a cannula. There were too many positives to say no to!

This wasn't scheduled for any time in particular, so 1:00pm came around and I was about to be taken to get the PICC line in.

Just as I was about to leave, Adam came in with a few words I'm all too familiar with. "Well, the pathology tests we were waiting on have come back inconclusive..."

Woah. Wait. What? How do tests of my gall bladder that was removed six days ago come back inconclusive? How does one of the main sources not have enough 'data' to tell them what sort of lymphoma I have? I was just stunned.

Adam continued "As a result, we can see some signs of Burkitt's lymphoma and that's what we're going to treat you for. You're young. You should be able to handle it and it's better to over treat you than under treat and be stuck where we are at the moment. It's an intense 16-day chemo treatment that will totally wipe out your red and white blood cells as well as your platelets. We foresee you being in here for another 3-5 weeks, depending on how well your body goes getting these levels back up to normal post this first treatment..."

I honestly say this but that's all I remember from this conversation. I was hoping I'd be heading home this week but looks like that definitely won't be happening. Today marks day 40 of the past 55 days in hospital (day 15 of this stint) and if I go off the longest suggested time expected, I have another 35 days to go. That honestly crushed me.

I got taken down to get my PICC line in - quite an easy process. Very similar to putting in a larger cannula, just a whole lot longer and uses local anaesthetic as well as being guided by an ultrasound and X-ray. I'm lucky enough to have two ports, which will hopefully speed up some of my medication and how much they can pump in. Does it feel weird? The only weird part was feeling it slide down past and near my heart - but that's okay now!

By the time I return, dad made his was in to try and help process the news. We get Adam in to once again explain the process. In layman's terms, I'll be starting an intense and high-dose 16-day chemotherapy program kicking off tomorrow (Tuesday) morning. Most of the time across the next 16 days, I'll be hooked up via IV drip getting whatever medication is required. I think I saw I have rest days on days 7 & 8 which I suppose will give me two days to look forward to. At the end of the day, it's something I'm not certain on and will be a day by day process and constant learning about what's going into my body to help fight with me.

I do have one request for you all. With my body not producing red or white blood cells or platelets over the next few weeks, I do request if you are planning to visit however are sick to stay away those extra few days. With my immune system going to be at the lowest it's been, I don't particularly want to pick up something I don't need. Additionally, as much as I'd love flowers, they're also banned due to the infection risk of the spores mixing with the chemotherapy and causing some dangerous damage from the inside.

At the end of the day, if you're not sure please message me and check as I'm not entirely sure myself about everything. I'm constantly learning as I'm going.

How am I feeling? I'm nervous. I'm nervous at the unknown. How will this affect me? How bad am I going to feel? Will I lose my hair? What will my energy levels be like? In advance, I do apologise if over the next few weeks I'm not myself. Truth be told, that's because I probably won't be.

In a way, i'm finally excited to start my treatment first thing tomorrow morning (after yet ANOTHER lumbar puncture). I was so envious of both people next to me getting their first rounds of chemo today. I know mine will be intense but I just can't wait.

I've learnt so much about cancer and chemotherapy over the past four days and I know there's so much more to learn. Today I learnt I'll be incredibly highly cytotoxic, which basically means all needles and anything used on me need to go in a separate bin just for me. Additionally, I'll have to get used to the good old double flush after the toilet to ensure all waste is disposed of. Mouth ulcers are a big issue with most chemo patients as well. I'll have to start brushing my teeth after every meal and taking a special mouthwash 3x daily to assist with keeping these under control. There's plenty of other little things, but they're two I least expected.

Everything really hit me last night....not like it did tonight though. I just had twenty minutes to reflect and it just became a sudden realisation. What I'm going through is real. It's not a 'joke' anymore. It's not something they're looking at as a potential cause. It is the cause. I have a legitimate medical issue and it's finally time to fight lymphoma. All well and good to be talking the talk like I have been - it's now time to walk the walk. This sits well with me. If I give somebody my word, I do whatever I can to get it achieved. Unfortunately for the lymphoma throughout my body I've given it my word and it's time to fight it. Round one begins tomorrow morning.

I leave tonight feeling a whole lot better than I did when I started tonight's post. I didn't learn from my words earlier as Coldplay live from Argentina is still playing however I'm in a much more comfortable mind space.

My best friend of a lazy 20 years, Dylan visited tonight with his partner, Jacqui. One phrase popped up more than most and they made me aware it was a common phrase coming out of my mouth.

"It is what it is."

I can't control what's happened to me as "it is what it is." What I can control from here though is how I fight lymphoma. Thanks for the visit tonight guys, I appreciated the two hours spent here in what's been an incredibly tough afternoon.

Much love.

Juzz xx