#one day I will yeet this thing out a window

[aristoteliancomplacency]

Phone: oh? You didn’t want me to autocorrect ‘Were’ to ‘We’re’? In fact when I did that you went back and deleted it and typed ‘Were’ again? And when I corrected it again you went back and changed it again? And then waited for me to suggest you meant ‘we’re’, told me no, and then got frustrated when, after you finished typing the next word I changed it to ‘We’re’ again?

But are you absolutely positive you didn’t meant ‘we’re’ bc I’m preeeeetty sure you really did mean ‘We’re’.

[gigabyte-flare]

There's No Escape (Part 5)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

Summary: You find out that dedication pays off as you struggle with conflicting feelings for your clearly traumatized captor.

Pairing: yandere!Leon Kennedy x fem!reader (afab)

Word Count: 2.4k

If any of the warnings below trigger you, please kindly pass on this fic 

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction, actions depicted in this story are not condoned in real life; if you feel this way, please go touch grass. You are solely responsible for your own content consumption

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT OR I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL YEET YOU INTO THE GODDAMN SUN. Thank you!

Warnings (may not apply to all parts): Sex, gaslighting, swearing, stalking, acts of violence, blood, dubcon, kidnapping, pet names (baby, doll, angel, sweetheart, etc.), PTSD triggers, unprotected sex, forced breeding, daddy kink, manipulation, oral (m and f receiving), choking, overstimulation, knife play, gunplay, masterbation, drugging, tokophobia, Stockholm syndrome if you squint. Long story short, DEAD DOVE: DO NOT EAT. More warnings could be added in the future.

Tags: @lipglossanon, @ghostkennedy, @explorevenus, @nexyswrites, @ilookatlater, @shroomietrip, @dollrxst, @lomaeuwu, @aliet, @luniaxifics (Shoot me a message or an ask if you want to be added to the list!)

A/N: I appreciate everyone's patience while I worked to get this one out. Hopefully it's worth the wait, enjoy!

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

You were in heaven.

Or… at least as close to heaven as you could get in your current predicament.

You soak yourself in the master bathroom tub, something Leon let you do if you were good, it felt so good on your sore muscles first thing in the morning. You sit there, your eyes closed; it was one of those part bathtub, part jacuzzi things that probably cost Leon a fortune. It was huge, you figured it could fit at least four people. 

The bathroom itself had a modern aesthetic. There was the tub, across from that was a stand up shower, completely enclosed in glass with a rainfall shower head. The sink and vanity were behind you in front of the door heading into the master bedroom. The best part though? The floor to ceiling window that overlooked the vast forest. The sun shone through the morning mist and trees, scattering god rays everywhere. You had to give credit for that; Leon had great taste in architecture. 

Your mind wanders as you open your eyes to enjoy the view of the forest. How long have you been here? Weeks? Months? You had tried to keep track but found it next to impossible. All the days seemed to blend together, your days made up of either Leon being attached to your hip or him ‘going into town’ (whatever that means) for work while you stayed there; you liked these days to yourself the most. In the evenings Leon would fuck you, his desire to get you pregnant was seemingly insatiable; hence why you were almost always sore in the morning.

It was impossible to fight him when he felt so fucking good, fucking asshole.

You’re ripped from your thoughts when you hear the bathroom door open.

“Alright, babygirl, tub time is over, time to have breakfast.”

You inwardly groan, opening your eyes and glaring at Leon.

“Don’t be like that, you don’t want Daddy to put you in timeout again, do you?”

You let out a sigh as you start to climb out, however, Leon scoops you up into his arms, carrying you into the bedroom so you could get dressed.

“Don’t want you slipping and falling on that wet tile. I can’t have my princess hurting herself, can I?”

In any other situation, you think this gesture would be adorable as hell, but this is not any other situation due to the fact that Leon is fucking nuts. He sets you down onto the bed before opening up the closet to pick out your outfit. One of his favorite things to do was to dress you up like you were his personal doll; this started within the past week. 

It’s like the more and more time you are trapped in this house with him, the weirder he gets.

“Here we are!” He suddenly exclaims, pulling out a flowy, short summer dress from the closet.

He walks over to you, you have seated yourself at the end of the bed with your arms wrapped around yourself. 

“Move your arms, babygirl,” Leon commands, his voice having a hint of annoyance.

Letting out a sigh, you lift your arms up over your head and Leon slips the dress onto you. When he gets the dress fitted onto you, he takes a step back as if he’s admiring a piece of artwork.

“Such a pretty doll you are. What do you say to Daddy for dressing you up so nice?”

You look away from him, once again wrapping your arms around yourself.

“Look at me when I’m talking to you.” Leon snarls.

You immediately look back at him, “thank you, Daddy…”

His expression immediately softens, “you’re welcome baby,” he pries one of your arms away from you, grasping your hand, “let’s go get you some breakfast, hm?”

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

The sound of a saw can be heard coming from a small shed on Leon’s property. Inside, Leon was diligently working, taking the piece of wood he had just cut and bringing it over to his project he was working on, a crib.

Leon knew something you didn’t, you had been asleep when he was able to draw some blood from you with a small needle and bring that sample with him to work one day. He gave it to the lab techs to test, you asked them to see if they could tell if you were pregnant, telling them that he wanted to surprise you with the good news. It took a couple days, but they let him know in an email that you were, in fact, pregnant with his child.

It took everything in him not to immediately tell you, so he took that energy and spent it on building the crib. In the shed, he had several monitors that showed the cameras inside the house so that he could keep an eye on you while he worked. You were in the bedroom, probably taking a nap, that was until he watched you turn onto your back, dipping one of your hands in between your legs.

He watched in awe as you pleasured yourself. He had read that sometimes a woman’s sex drive will skyrocket when they’re pregnant, thankfully that seems to be true for you. He continues to work on the crib, stopping to look at the camera feed in the bedroom occasionally. The picture was grainy, but he could tell your fingers were buried inside you and you appeared to be saying his name. This only served to motivate him to get this crib done.

What a good girl.

At some point, he unconsciously stops, staring into the camera feed as you’re still fingering yourself, a solid 45 minutes has passed by at least. He couldn’t keep his eyes off you, eventually finding himself digging his hardening cock out of his pants to get himself off from watching you. After a few minutes of this, he tucks his throbbing cock back into his pants and makes his way into the house

As soon as he opens the front door, he’s immediately greeted by the sound of your animalistic moans coming from the bedroom. As he stalks through the house, he begins undoing his belt and practically ripping off his own pants and underwear. As he steps through the threshold into the bedroom now naked from the waist down, he sees you still laying on the bed, fingers buried into you with one hand while the other is rubbing circles into your swollen clit. You sit up slightly to look at Leon, tears streaming down your face.

He wastes no time pulling off his shirt and climbing on top of you, his lips sealing over yours as he buried his cock deep inside your crying cunt. His thrusts are hungry and determined, causing you to practically scream his name. He feels your nails claw into his back. He buries his face into neck to mark you with loving bruises as his cock continues its relentless assault on your pussy. 

You let out an ear piercing scream as you cum all over his cock, drenching him in your juices as you continue to claw into his back, your nails drawing blood. Letting out a low growl, Leon pushes himself as deep as he could possibly go, shooting his load into you, coating your pussy walls pure white. Propping himself up by his arms, he looks down at you, still buried inside you. He’s breathing heavily, his skin coated in sweat.

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

On one hand, you were so pissed at yourself for enjoying every second of that, on the other, you were so thankful Leon had come in to finally give you your release. You had no clue what had come over you, all of a sudden you were blindsided by an insatiable hunger that no amount of fingering yourself and clit rubbing was going to satisfy, you needed something that hit deeper. 

You and Leon look at each other, his arms caging you beneath him. Eventually he leans down, giving you a soft kiss on your forehead before he finally pulls out of you. A rush of his cum leaks out of you. Pulling your dress down, you sit up and sit on the end of the bed as you watch Leon retrieve his discarded shirt, putting it back on before walking out of the bedroom; you assume his pants and boxers are out there somewhere. You stand up, immediately feeling his release drip down your legs, a painful reminder of your lack of willpower against Leon. 

You follow Leon out of the bedroom, watching as he gets his boxers and pants back on. He looks over at you, smiling.

“Sorry for bursting in like that, you looked like you needed some help on the cameras and I just couldn’t resist.”

You swallow hard, “it’s ok, Daddy, I’m thankful you came in when you did…”

Admitting that made you sick to your stomach, you wrap your arms around yourself again, hugging yourself gently.

“Put some shoes on and come with me to the work shed, I have something to show you that I’ve been working on for you.”

There’s a shoe rack over by the front door, you see a pair of your sandals along with pairs of boots and sneakers, probably all Leon’s. You walk over, grabbing the sandals and putting them on.

He gives you a dark look, “now, don’t get any ideas when we’re outside. I’m trusting you. You need to stay next to me at all times outside, understood?”

You stand next to him at the front door, giving him a slight nod before he opens the door. As both of you step outside, you inhale deeply, taking in the calming smell of the forest. When was the last time you were outside? You truly couldn’t recall. The shed was a ways away from the main house, you follow Leon on a well beaten path away from the house. Before long, you see the shed, which honestly was the size of a small house. The door to the shed was wide open, you assume Leon had left it open while he was rushing to get back to the house, to get to you.

You step inside and you quickly realize the shed actually was a small house. The room you were in probably used to be a living room however now it had various things scattered about, mostly tools and other stuff used for building things. You follow him into what used to be the kitchen, the tile floor covered in sawdust. There was a workbench in the middle with a table saw and Leon had removed the doors off the cabinets for easy access to his tools.

“When I bought this property, this little house used to be the original building until I built the new house. I figured I’d put this building to good use, but that’s not what I wanted to show you.”

He smiles at you before gesturing to something in the back next to the workbench, you gasp as your eyes settle on the half built piece of furniture.

“Is… is that a crib?!” you ask, a slight hint of panic in your voice.

“It is, and I have another surprise for you,” he continues as he grabs a piece of paper off the work bench, bringing it over to you.

You take the sheet from him, confused at first, it appeared to be results of a blood test, with elevated levels of hGC, whatever that means.

“Leon, I don’t really know what I’m looking at…”

“Come again?”

You mentally roll your eyes, “Daddy, I don’t know what this paper means.”

You watch as a smile slowly appears across Leon’s lips, his eyes locked onto you, “it means you’re pregnant, babygirl.”

“What?” you reply in utter disbelief.

“I took a sample of your blood with me to work and had the lab boys test it. I wanted to be able to give you the good news!”

Good news? GOOD NEWS? This was the furthest thing from good news. You start hyperventilating, the realization that you are tied to Leon forever now sinking in. You collapse to your knees, sobbing violently.

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

Why are you crying?

Leon stood there, watching you as you collapsed to the floor, utterly confused. You should be happy, why aren’t you happy? Leon’s lifelong dream of starting a family, especially with the love of his life, was finally coming true. When he had seen the results, he was completely overwhelmed with joy, so why aren’t you?

“Sweetheart, are you afraid…?” he began, kneeling down to you so that he was at your eye level, “there’s no need to be afraid, you’re going to be the most beautiful and perfect mommy to our baby.”

You continue to cry, big, heavy tears falling from your face as you struggle to breathe. Leon reaches out to you, caressing your cheek and wiping tears from your eyes, “I’m going to take such good care of you during this pregnancy, I promise.”

He was trying so hard to comfort you, but the more he spoke, the more your sobs got more intense. He suddenly grabs you by your arm, forcing you back onto your feet, but that didn’t stop you from crying. 

“Baby, please tell Daddy what’s wrong. Don’t you want my baby?”

“NO!” you scream at him without even the slightest hesitation, your body violently trembling.

In that moment, his heart shattered into a thousand pieces. What do you mean you don’t want his baby? What began as sadness then evolved into full on rage as his anger coursed through his veins. He looks down at you, sees you still crying. However, he knew he couldn’t act on his anger, he didn’t want to risk losing the baby. He took a deep breath, closing his eyes for a moment before opening them again.

He gently wraps his arms around you, pulling you to him, pressing you to his chest. You bury your face into his chest, tears staining his shirt. He simply held you there in his arms, letting you cry it all out. Eventually, you did finally stop crying, much to Leon’s relief. He runs his hand through your hair as he looks down at you, your face still buried in his pecs. 

“Don’t worry sweetheart, it’ll be ok. We’re finally going to be a happy family.”

Part 6

[haveyouseenthisskeleton]

Could I have a main skellys + horrorfell react to a SO who is clumsy as hell?? Like its not a day without hearing a crash a few rooms over that after a second a yelling of "IM OKAY!"

Undertale Sans - He got scared the first few times, but after a while he's not even reacting lol. He's still waiting for the "I'm okay" to resume what he's doing though. It's fine. He's used to it.

Undertale Papyrus - He throws everything he's holding in his hands away to run to your rescue. Every time. He's relieved you're mostly not really hurt, but he will still scold you for not being careful enough.

Underswap Sans - He has a sixth sense now and somehow manages to catch you one time out of two before you fall. He's quite proud of his new superpower honestly. And ok, maybe he tried to make you trip once or twice to test if it's real but you don't need to know that.

Underswap Papyrus - He knows this struggle. He can't do anything to help you. He tried. But all he can do is run to you, trip on your body, and then fall on your back because his legs are too long and he can't control them properly. It's like a family curse now, all their kids will be clumsy as well. You created monsters.

Underfell Sans - He will scream an insult from somewhere in the house. Please stop doing that, you're giving him anxiety! He's tired of running in panic to see if you're not dead. Be careful! His soul can't take it anymore!

Underfell Papyrus - After the first few times where he panicked thinking you were getting murdered, Edge barely reacts anymore. He just sighs from wherever he is and stares at you until you stand back up.

Horrortale Sans - It's making him so anxious. Every time you fall, he's running and jumping in front of you, growling at the emptiness to protect you from whatever attacked you. He will attack the stairs, the pans, the water on the floor for revenge. Sometimes it gets a little silly, especially when he rolls on the floor to "kill" the water. He keeps forgetting you're clumsy, his instincts are talking for him.

Horrortale Papyrus - He screams every time he sees you fall, which scares you and makes you fall faster. He swears he tries to control it, but he can't help it. He's dramatic and it's scaring him. He's so going to lecture you about how to properly use your legs though.

Horrorfell Sans - He keeps trying to catch you before realizing... He has no arm... And falling with you because he did the gesture anyway and couldn't stop himself lol. He's usually grumpy all day after that and mumbling to himself, so mad.

Horrorfell Papyrus - You accidentally fell on him quite a few times, so now Chief rolls his wheelchair a few steps back and simply watches you fall flat on the floor with an unimpressed look. He can sometimes poke you with his wheelchair when you take too much time to stand up, just to make sure you're not dead or something.

Swapfell Sans - Most of the time, he catches you with his magic, but sometimes he gets annoyed and aggressively grabs your soul to yeet you in the couch so you stop hurting yourself already.

Swapfell Papyrus - He points you and does the "HA HA" sound from Nelson in the Simpsons. Yeah, if you're looking for any help from him, it's not going to happen. He thinks you're hilarious though and will make compilations of your falls on Youtube.

Fellswap Gold Sans - He gives you THE stare. The one that means "how the hell could humans survive this long when you're clearly all brain dead" kind of stare. You can feel him judging you deep in your soul. He won't move to help you though lol.

Fellswap Gold Papyrus - He runs to save you but somehow, he always makes things so much worse than what it need to be. Like that time you managed to stand up and he came running, tackled you and you both fell from the window... Thanks Coffee.

[vickyvicarious]

Yeah Dracula is actually a thorough planner. Once I interpreted Dracula's careening final leg of the journey to England as a careless oversight on his part; one where he over-indulged by eating the entire crew and unskillfully brought the ship into Whitby by chance. BUT he's been planning Whitby from the start. I think how he ends up getting into Lucy's house at the end is also the result of careful research and planning. He even has a plan for turning the rest of those who tried to thwart him, not needing to do it all directly.

Strategizing and laying down the maps for his steps is another trait he shares with Mina, come to think of it. The latter doesn't underestimate her foes to "toy" with them, however.

I agree. I actually made a graph showing when Dracula picks off the various crew members, and when you look at it over time it looks much more intentional to me. I believe he always wanted to land on a dead ship, and picked them off gradually so that enough would be alive to get the ship close to shore where he could take over. (Also, to maximize the horror it would inflict on those still alive, because he loves that sort of thing.) Only the Captain's final stand on the wheel made steering it in to shore himself harder to do. Even then though, I wonder if he might have always intended to crash it ashore, so that he could get off the ship without crossing running water. Otherwise, his original plan would have been to hide in one of his boxes and get carried ashore when they unload the ship, but there could be a chance then of one heavier box getting noticed/opened.

I'm a little less certain about Lucy's house, simply because I'm not sure how he would have had access to Mrs. Westenra's will. But I suppose that brings up the question of law. Would the house count as Lucy's before the will is read out to her, even if she were the one to inherit? After all, Dracula doesn't exactly need Arthur's permission to enter once Mrs. Westenra dies. But maybe Lucy's sense of ownership as someone who resides there would be enough to fill that gap before she legally has confirmation that it's hers too. Arthur neither lives there nor even knew he was going to inherit it at the time. Regardless, the way he drugs the maids certainly suggests planning ahead of time: he'd need to know about the laudanum she was taking in order to use it on them. So either he was doing research when he wasn't there, or maybe he was able to find out some information by spying through windows at night, or maybe he got Lucy to tell him some things while she was mesmerized/asleep (probably the least likely, because we don't see that done elsewhere and also I think he was in bat form pretty much all the time he drank from her in London, until the day he came into the house). Regardless, he still lets his temper get to him enough that he gives up on subtlety when he goes for the "yeet the wolf" approach, but that doesn't mean there is no planning happening there.

Yeah, he's definitely strategic. He's been planning this for a while. And it's something he certainly shares in common with Mina. But, as you say, she gets right down to business. She analyzes the paths to achieve a goal and heads right for it without any of the same toying around. She also is good at estimating threats, at thinking cautiously in order to ensure success, at figuring out how people tick and how to oppose them. She definitely does not underestimate like Dracula does, and she doesn't get caught up in her own emotions (rage, pride, whatever) the same way either. The closest she comes is right after her assault but she's able to work through her grief and guilt and anger much more cool-headedly usually.

[kimberly-spirits13]

A Good Time to Call the Experts: Justice League Dark PT. 1

IT’S SERIES TIME AGAIN 🥳

Pairing: Batman x reader

Word Count: 2,201

Warnings: Mentions of that mother jumping off the roof in the movie (not graphic), creepy shadow, mentions of the various crimes commited in the movie (running people over, killing the family, trying to yeet your baby from a building NOT IN DETAIL)

Summary: Growing up, you were experienced with magic and the forces beyond the mortal realm. You’d always been close to them, you and Bruce knowing exactly how far it goes beyond the known world. Despite there being a quietness for a long time, a magical force is disrupting the balance of peace again, meaning that you’d be disrupted again. Following a series of gruesome crimes around the world, and an encounter with a messenger acrobat from beyond, you and Bruce decide that it’s time to call in more of the experts.

The day that you came to the manor, back from the escapades that had taken you away from Gotham as a child, Bruce didn’t ask many questions as to what happened to you and where you went. He was more concerned that you were turned up with a bleeding forehead and some wild story about killing some leader. When Alfred had stitched up your wounds and given you tea to calm your nerves you had explained everything in detail.

You were taken by your parents who, apparently, were not really your parents but rather recruiters for a youth program specializing in training powerful girls. Your parents had sold you off to them for a sum of money before you were one years old and this couple took you as their own. A short time before Bruce’s parents were killed, they swept you off to some foreign pocket dimension, away from everything that you had ever known to be trained for the sole purpose of becoming an agent for the organization.

Eventually, when you were old enough, you finally had the advantage of being more powerful than the leaders there. You had taken your revenge on the leaders, killed them off, set free those that were captive to them, and escaped from the world you had been stuck in for so many years. When you had arrived to the mortal realm once again, the only place you knew you could go was back to Gotham.

When you woke up tangled in the bedsheets Bruce was already stirring from sleep. Usually when you woke up around this time of year rain sprinkled the windows of the manor. This morning was no different. As dim beams of sunlight seeped through the cracked curtains, you could feel Bruce move closer to you, if that was possible.

“G’morning” His voice was soft but still audible.

“Morning.” You laughed softly and ran your fingers through his hair.

Bruce grabbed at your sides and pulled you closer, laying his body on yours, crushing you for a few minutes. He found it amusing that you tried to hide the fact that you were laboring to breathe for the moment.

“B, you know that no-kill policy you’ve got?” You squeezed out.

“Mhm.”

“Well I think you’re about to break that.” Finally you pushed him off you just enough so that you weren’t struggling.

He let out a laugh and moved himself to be situated at your chest instead of covering your entire frame. There was a lasting silence and contentment between you two which lasted for what seemed like a long time. The only thing that interrupted it was a buzz notification that sounded from your phone. It read “League meeting at 10”.

“I’m pretty sure if we stay like this for much longer, the two of us are going to be very late.” You said looking over at your alarm clock.

It was only 8am, but considering that you two were not morning people, you needed to get moving.

“I’m pretty sure that we could just stay here for another hour. Can’t you just use some wavy finger magic and get us ready really fast?” He mused.

“Wavy finger magic?“ You raised a brow, “Here I thought you weren’t one to willingly use “wavy finger magic.””

“Only if it means another hour with you.” Bruce didn’t move off of you but instead laid there like a statue.

“Fairly positive that if we stayed in bed for another hour, Alfred would come in banging pots and pans together.” You sighed squirming under him.

That earned another chuckle from Bruce who eventually after some prodding, got up off you to start getting ready for the day. Bruce had gotten into the shower and you were busy washing your face when you noticed a strange shadow at the end of the bathroom. There was no light that would have caused the ill-placed shadow to appear there and you were sure that you had never seen one here before.

You stared at it, face wash still bubbling around your hairline from the contact it had with the water. The spray of water was loud enough in the other part of the bathroom that Bruce would never hear you muttering to it.

“Now I suppose you’re not a normal figment of the light are you?” You said rubbing the face wash out of your hair with a wet wash cloth. There was a slight shift in the shadow, “Well I hope you didn’t come here for a show this morning.”

You to raised your hand at it casting a light spell. The shadow ran itself wild convulsing and falling over itself on the marble floor. You saw the darkness drain from the spot that it was previously laid, knowing that the light you produced caused it to disintegrate. You wouldn’t mention the appearance of it to Bruce yet. It always put him in a bad mood when something was suspected to be amiss with magic. You also wanted to ignore the fact that it was in your bathroom for the time being.

When Bruce had finally gotten out of the shower you had already gotten yourself pulled together for the meeting. The only thing that the two of you needed was to pull on your suits and down a cup of coffee or two. The two of you headed downstairs where you were greeted by Alfred with the desired cups of coffee and a breakfast that made your mouth water.

“I don’t suppose that this meeting will last all day?” Alfred asked cordially.

“It’s not supposed to.” Bruce replied still scanning over the morning news, “We’re only going to review footage of the recent crime wave. Some of the Leaguers think the crimes are connected to each other.”

“Well I’d certainly hope it’s a quick fix.” Alfred looked at the two of you, “I’ve heard the family who has adopted the child from the other evening has been having a splendid time taking care of the child. It seems he will be alright.”

“That’s good news to hear.” You added, “The coroner is investigating the wellness of the woman before the incident. He thinks that there was possibly a mental disorder leading to the cause of the suicide.”

Bruce didn’t say anything, and instead continued staring at the news. You knew it wasn’t a good night for him. That night, you were working on the other side of the town because of the recent spark in crime. The two of you figured it would be better to spread out and cut down the area needing to be patrolled. When you got the call from him of what happened you rushed to his location to make sure everything was alright. Bruce didn’t let the baby go but to take off his cape to wrap the baby up. That time you were the only one allowed to hold the child. You knew he was thinking back to that night in the alley and his cause for possessiveness over the baby was because of his experience.

“I think it’s best that we get suited up.” He finally chimed in, “We should be leaving here in the next fifteen minutes or so.”

Bruce stood up and took your mug to the sink where he ran water in it and placed the cups into the dishwasher like Alfred had ingrained in him as a boy. With the look of satisfaction Alfred walked the two of you to the entrance of the cave, saying his goodbye.

You waited as the elevator stopped lowering and stepped out when the door opened. Bruce was beginning to start his brooding mood and you simply couldn’t have that so early in the morning.

“I heard Diana broke a sword against the training dummy during demonstrations yesterday.” You said throwing on your boots after getting dressed.

“Clark said she was more shocked than the interns watching.” Bruce responded.

“Well yeah, I’d think so considering that we’ve used those training dummies for so long without breaking weapons over them.” You chuckled, “She must have just used one with a metal deformity.”

The two of you finished getting ready and started for the Zeta tube in the cave. It was near the computers but far enough away that if there was an intruder, action could be taken to subdue them before they got too close. Bruce was sure of this when they were being installed. When the two of you beamed into the watch tower, there was a group of interns sitting around working on analytics together over coffee and tea. They looked surprised seeing the Batman and yourself walking in. It wasn’t that you two weren’t here often enough, there’s just always an aura of intimidation when you two walk in a room. That didn’t mean that they didn’t like you two though.

“Morning guys.” You said, “How’s it going?”

“Good, we’re just working on those stats for the energy of the tower.” The woman with glasses and long blonde hair chimed in, “I think most of the leaguers are here minus Flash.”

You nodded, “He’s always pushing it.”

You and Bruce walked into the meeting room where Wonder Woman, Superman, Aquaman, Green Lantern, Martian Manhunter, Hawkman, and Shazam were situated. Like the worker had said, Flash wasn’t yet there. You two took your seats and listened to the chatter for a moment. Clark and Diana greeted the two of you and Martian Manhunter floated near to run a data configuration over with you. Before the meeting was meant to start, Flash came zipping in with a smile and an excuse that his alarm didn’t go off in time. The punchline was that he wasn’t late.

“So, I’m sure that everyone has heard of the recent crime spike.” Diana started, “Every crime that has happened so far has been in a similar nature. This is the footage of the crimes.”

Everyone sat quietly looking over the videos. Images of a woman running over civilians with her car, a man being detained by the FBI after passing out, the woman from Gotham jumping to her death, and other similar videos were played. You glanced over at Bruce you then did the same for you. It was as if you were talking to each other with simple looks. He was telling you that there was definitely something going on but he was sure the League didn’t have the right answer. The chime of the computer sounded off as the video paused on the woman running over innocents with her car.

Superman stepped up out of the side of the projection, “These crimes were committed by law abiding citizens.”

Diana did the same as the screen faded to blue, “They all claimed to have seen nightmare visions before hand.”

Lantern chimed in from his seat, “Any idea of what’s causing it?”

Superman looked at him, “No idea.” This gained a sigh of annoyance from the Lantern.

“The one week I fill in for Jordan, and it couldn’t be some hairy ass monster?” Lantern looked down at the table earning a smirk from Flash.

“The same pattern is repeating around the world. So, there could be an overriding factor. Perhaps a paranormal element?” Diana pressed the control switch on the remote that displayed a world map with red dots representing the sites of the crimes.

“Are you talking about magic?” Bruce asked.

Diana turned to face you two, “We’ve come up against magic before Batman. Circe, Trigon Felix Foust. Y/N is the most powerful magic user we have here.”

“Even Shazam’s powers are based in magic.” Clark chimed in before looking at you, “With as much as you’ve seen, can you rule it out?”

You looked dead on at Clark, “The criminally insane don’t need magic as an excuse.” You stood up from your chair getting ready to leave, “I recommend spending more time on the streets instead of flying over them.”

With that, you started walking out of the room. You heard the squeaking of the chair Bruce was sitting in and the footsteps following, indicating that he was trailing closely behind. You heard Lantern say something as the doors were closing but didn’t spare a glance backwards. Instead, you started for the Zeta tubes again.

“I think we need to call Constantine. Zatanna would be a good addition too.” You said, “There’s dark magic at hand. The kind that the league isn’t familiar enough with. Even Diana would be dead weight on cases like this.”

Bruce looked over at you as you were explaining, “You’re sure these cases are related somehow with it?”

“Almost certain. There’s shadows lingering around the manor again. Sign that something’s amiss beyond the mortal plane. Besides, what massive group of strangers are all going to coordinate the exact same response to the crimes committed. It seems extremely telling of something beyond insanity.”

“You just didn’t want the League asking digging deeper into it.”

“Not at all.” You said as the two of you walked inside the Zeta tubes.

Maybe it wasn’t being entirely honest about the situation. With your experience though, you knew that this wasn’t something the league needed to handle.

[fun-n-fashion]

ok but like what if someone points out to Dream that even if he is now open to calling Hob his friend without having to yeet himself out of the window out of sheer embarrassment that he still has a massive imbalance of knowing basically everything about Hob while Hob basically knows nothing about him and in trying to rectify this Dream nearly inflicts eldritch madness on Hob because instead of using his damn words he instead tries to make it all up in one go by being like “ingest this grain of sand and it will give you deep insight into me as a person” 

and Hob, being Hob, is like “are you sure it’s safe?” and Dream is like “yeah, obviously” and is maybe a little shirty ‘cause Hob doesn’t trust him maybe???? 

So Hob just shrugs and eats the sand and nearly has his mind shredded because Dream forgot that human minds do have actual limitations and that they don’t have even close to the same sensory organs and that despite sharing less than a microsecond of his own experience it is quite literally more than Hob can reasonably be expected to bear 

and Delirium shows up and is the closest thing to sane she has been in a long time and is all “what the fuck, i thought you liked this one????”

and Dream has to scramble to neutralize his sand before Hob gets too damaged. 

and then Hob is in a coma for like a week while his brain sorts out the experience and decides what absolutely has to go for the sake of his sanity and when he wakes up he has only the vaguest recollection of what he saw and a headache that would put a hangover to shame.

and Dream is brooding in his castle ‘cause he fucked up and maybe broke his favorite human and what if Hob decided he didn’t want to be friends after all???

and then he feels Hob wake up and he goes to see him all cautious and sorry and such

and the first thing Hob says to him is something like “no wonder you’re such a sulky git if that’s what you’re dealing with all the time”, obviously teasing even though he’s still got a hand over his eyes and flinches at the sound of his own breathing because the headache is just that bad 

and Dream knows he’s forgiven. 

He still tries to make it up to Hob though because Hob had an unexpected absence and no one at the university could get a hold of him for a week and this is A Problem in professional circles but he manages to get back in everyone’s good graces by telling them more or less the truth (that he had gotten a head injury and been laid up in a coma) and by seeming very fragile for the first few days back (which is not entirely an act as there are ... echoes of a sort that hit him at odd times) . 

he gets better and for all that he now insists on Dream using his words, or at least showing him things in dreams constructed for the minds of humans thank you very much, he does have a much better understanding of the man than he did before.

Perhaps this leads somewhere...

[cuprohastes]

Lunch In Space (Part 4)

There is an old Human tradition. We keep it alive to this day. When things are Very Bad(tm), for example, your shuttle is about to perform a high-velocity Lithobraking Manouver, you invoke the Ancient Words of the Ancestors. Usually "Oh, sh*t".

I, as I'm sure you're now aware, am culturally sensitive, and cultured, so when chunks of Oscar started becoming Free Range and my life support lit up red, and Oscar's little Atrix-face started doing some very worried little colour combos, I took solace in this hallowed and time-honoured tradition and went with "Ru-ROH".

Now you may be thinking, gee, having your life support blow out while flying around the backside of a planet while everyone is too busy to come to pick you up is bad.

I mean, sure. It literally is.

But what doesn't kill you instantly gives you the opportunity for a really slow, horrible death so you can appreciate it so much more.

I took the life support unit off.

Counter-intuitive, but there you go. I jsut clipped one of my lanyards to the bottom attach point and released all the clips.

All the connectors that move all my various essential fluids and gasses are on failsafe connectors. They close automatically because it'd be super dumb if they didn't.

So now I'm just using passive insulation and things are going to get very hot very soon.

I turned the Life Support unit over and found a... Space Squid. 

I mean that's what it looked like. This conical, bullet-shaped shell,  with tiny little thruster vents, and then on the bottom of the cone, a bunch of little tentacles, sensor windows and what looks like miniature tools.

At first, all I saw was the shell so I grabbed it and yanked it out. I screamed jsut the tiniest amount when it wiggled its tentacles at me, but then it folded up and glared at me, and tried to puff away. 

My mighty human fingers of course were more than a match for this.

My mighty human Brain took a few more seconds to catch up because Oscar wasn't loaded with enough coffee for peak human cognition and I did a comical flail and found two more of the little suckers trying to eat through Oscar's skin.

"I Yeet Thee!" I told them and yanked them off and threw them in the direction of away.

The first little guy was with me but still sulking. I think it was out of gas, to be honest.

So that leaves me inside Oscar, who's rapidly becoming a sauna.

Luckily, I am just covered in tools, patches, and other Fix-things stuff so I started checking the life support pack.

Not good. Squiddy had already chewed some quite important stuff - the valves all closed, but now there's no way to re-circulate a lot of the air supply.

A bit about life support. It's not just a couple of bottles of air mix.

There are coolants, thruster gasses that you just top up while you work, water, which is circulated through Oscar's inner lining, the uh, Yellow and Brown lines, and then the Scrubber which is kind of a back-up and also means you can go longer without an umbilical, or without large air tanks. It also prevents the inside of Oscar from filling up with condensation.

So anyway, the thruster tank and the air tank were basically there but unusable.

Two of four of the batteries were cracked. They got isolated by the technical process of just pulling them out. They're not supposed to be dangerous, but why take the risk?

Oscar was a nice toasty 40ºc by the time I got the life support back on and I almost cried when the cooling started to pull out all that heat.

And then I almost sobbed because Oscar told me I had three and a half hours until station rendezvous and approximately two hours and twenty minutes of life support.

So I shut almost everything down. Inspection lights, most of the computing, interior displays, and after one last use, the uh waste processing.

That got me an extra 40 minutes of power. What else?

Well duh.

My power tools have bi-directional charging. I plugged them into my utility ports and hey OK, now I was only 5 minutes shy. OK.

So what else?

The Scrubber - It's running out of... scrub-ability.

There's a thing you can do that you should never, ever do, because it's suicidally stupid and bad. Honestly, I've always wanted to try it.

I turned the temp down past freezing and told the auto-doc to go to Oetzie mode. 

Now, this isn't an official process. It's one of the macros I've developed in bored moments - I submitted it to a couple of trade journals, both of whom told me I was a dangerous lunatic.

So I asked the Most Dangerous Human.

Miranda is a mutant. She burns 4000Kcal a day sitting still. Her IQ is supposedly about double or more than a normal Genius. She hates her life. Literally everyone in her species is kind of sad and bumbling and unable to grasp concepts she finds simple.

She lacks intellectual stimulation, and just craves novelty or anything that might make her feel for a moment, that she can be part of normal life.

When I met her she was running a comic book store. 

She's considered the most dangerous living human because nobody can figure out if she's going to take a nap, then re-write the rules of linguistics, develop an AI that will take over the Human race or stub her toes and decide to eradicate all living things in a Light Millenium.

As someone who's spent an afternoon shovelling food into her and listening to her do the most hilarious routine on why Comic Books should be weaponised, I can tell you that she has no more ill will toward anyone who doesn't write Justice Interplanetary than the common dog owner has for their pupper.

But Stever Aronnomis and Gixy Lurraine? Your days are numbered. Especially after Issue 17.

Anyway, Mir-Mir took about eight hours and re-wrote the Oetzie protocol, and got published in about 19 interdisciplinary publications. She was nice enough to credit me with the original work, and that got me a job and a weekly visit from the People In Black to check that I'm not also a supervillain or plotting to steal people's essential fluids to make Tsin sports drinks.

Anyway.

Oetzie mode gives you near-fatal hypothermia. It's not quite suspended animation but it's close as you can get while maintaining a really good chance of waking back up.

All I had to do was program a really simple little macro that would ping for immediate assistance and flag the file with re-animation instructions.

Already I was getting chilled. My teeth were chattering and I was trying to relax and jsut lket it happen. My littel budd the spac squid was stuill floting her. gabe it one o th deb bat  klklklkkkkkkkkkk

Ow.

Seriously. I was feeling very disoriented. Everything was too bright and I felt very woozy and my jaw ached, but apart from that, the pins and needles, the way all my clothes felt like broken glass and the uncontrollable shivering, I felt surprisingly not dead.

Also not in Oscar.

I was having trouble focusing my eyes, but hearing I could manage.

Two Tsin were discussing eating me.

Voice One: "Well he's dead. I say we just ask. You know Humans - it's either 'no, you can't because we have a whole bunch of traditions and sacred laws that cannot be broken' or 'haha yeah that's what they'd want' and then they ask you if you want some sauce."

Voice Two: "Yeah but... what if the othre humans get upset that we asked? What if they think we killed this one to get the meat?"

Voice one: "They were in an un-powered EVA suit with no air, and the life support running colder than the Caffeteria Freezer. I don't care what stupid plan they had, not even a Human can survive that."

This is it. The moment that I have been living for all these years. You always hope one day you get the chance, and now finally it's my time to shine!

I sat up and said "Do you two mind? I'm trying to get some sleep."

Their horrified screams were like a warm bath. Ahhhh!

[selineram3421]

I was holding this back for a while but now I'ma dive head in.

Isekai'd

Prologue: Survival

Vash (Tristamp) X Reader

Warning! ⚠

⚠ Cussing, you get yeeted into the desert at some point, forget surviving on Earth, how the hell are you gonna survive on Noman's Land!? ⚠

Your day had been shit.

College was taking most of your money and you were living off of instant noodles to survive.

As soon as you got home, you flopped down face first onto your bed, completely done with everything. Letting out a groan, you turned on your side and got your phone to find an anime to watch.

I hate this. I'm not living, I'm surviving.

Scrolling down the list of recent releases, you spot the new version of Trigun.

"Oh, its out now.", you mumbled and sat up, looking around your apartment. "I should make something to eat."

After setting up your laptop and getting food ready, you put on your head set and pressed play. The episode started out with the fall and then it got a little too much with one problem after another.

I get they want us to witness some of the shenanigans but this is too much. You thought, slurping on the noodles. Welp, good thing I don't have any classes on the weekend. I'm gonna stay up all night.

When the episodes for season one finished, you noticed the sun rising behind the blinds on your window.

"I STAYED UP ALL NIGHT!?", you shout and groan, covering your face in shame. "I can hear my mom scolding me already."

You get up and go over to your bed after cleaning the desk up.

"Whatever, its the weekend and I live alone. No one is here to nag at me.", you yawn and close the blinds, getting ready to knock out. "I can sleep for as long as I want."

Yesterday was hell, and you were too tired to change your clothes.

Feeling yourself start to drift off, you wonder how the humans on Noman's Land can survive in that heat.

Not my problem. You think before closing your eyes.

.

..

...?

Why aren't I going to sleep? And when did it get so hot in the room?

Opening your eyes, you end up seeing a blue sky with two scorching suns instead of your ceiling.

Huh? Two suns!?

You sit up quick and feel the hot sand. Looking around, only seeing sand dunes.

"No..", you say, feeling yourself shiver in disgust.

I hate the heat!

"NO!!", you cry out and stand up. "I was only wondering how they survived! I didn't want to be in the same situation!"

Why and how did I end up here!?

"What the fuck is going on!?", you cry out.

My friend made me some dividers! Yay✨

~Seline, the person.

Next: Part 1

ML Vash | ChL Isekai'd

[bokettochild]

so I noticed that you seem to have never mentioned anything about what the bad guys do in your Opera House au so I thought maybe they are just critics that have big vendettas against the chain and are always looking for things to pick on when they go to their shows? Idk random thoughts you can ignore this if you like *yeets self out of window*

-Window anon

Hmmmm...

I'm going to say that Ganon at least is a business tycoon of a rival company to Flora's father, and while, on one hand, he is actively trying to topple their company for his own gain, there is also the fact that his little sister Riju is constantly undermining him? And he can't even confront her about it because she inevitably manages to distract him with something else (like talking about boys, he is a VERY protective older brother, no you are NOT dating another loser Hylian boy, young lady!). I would't say he's evil, I just think he's rich and has power and doesn't always use it to benefit the people who need it, so it's more that the media hates his guts.

Hmmmm.....basically, if you know anything about American Politics, he's a slightly less horrible version of Trump. Like, if Trump knew that respecting women was possible and good for your health. So yeah, the entirety of the young generation makes so many memes about this guy, and he kinda deserves it.

As for the rest!

Veran and Onyx are Ganon's trusted business partners overseas. They're technically under his mothers' supervision, but they also answer to him. They're not evil, even if they have made it their personal mission between the three of them to get the notorious street artist Sheik and his(her?) little sidekick arrested, mainly just because Sheik keeps leaving street art on their buildings specifically.(Lullaby and Ganon have beef. It's not even big beef, they're just both petty.)

Onyx and Veran also have beef with Legend, not for any good reason even, they just do. He's purposefully annoying whenever he and Lullaby have to be around the three of them, and Ganon genuinely will call off a meeting if he sees Lullaby's pet brat waiting for her.

Then we have Vaati. Vaati is....well, to put it short (pfft), Four's rival. Four is the Mr. Fix-It at the opera but he also dabbles and creates in his own time. Vaati and he met at an expo where Vaati's mentor, Ezlo, took a shine to Four and thus sparked jealousy from his then-student. They're never violent, just extremely aggressively trying to one up each other all the time.

That said, Vaati's actually pretty chill to anyone who's not Four! Although he does tend to flirt with Dot whenever he sees her. His little brother is the opposite: edgy and grouchy to everyone OTHER than Four, although whether that started as a way to piss off his big brother or because he genuinely enjoyed Four's company is yet to be determined. Vaati hates it though, so, either way, mission success!

Zant is just a online troll who likes bashing successful people and tends to target the opera mostly to spite Midna, because he knows her ex and her bestie both work there. The crew actually love reading his posts online though and enjoy laughing at him. He's basically harmless, and while Midna hates it, Twilight loves reading how Zant is going to bash him on any given day.

Yuga is a really shitty art professor at Hilda's art school who likes trying to manipulate her and who Legend and Ravio kinda think is hitting on her. They hate him, she just thinks he's "strange but talented". His art is very unique though, they can't deny it. Ledge signed up to take his class just to keep an eye on him, so Yuga kinda hates his guts now, but also he can't fail him, because Ledge is actually good, so he kinda hates his guts instead and tries to make life difficult for him instead.

As for Cia? She's a fangirl. She's one of the more loud and outspoken fans that Warriors has, and slightly insane? They think? He had to take out a restraining order on her, and she violates it routinely. They don't know what, precisely, was the final straw to make him file for the order, but there is a history of drama there that only newbies don't know not to ask about.

I will say that Octavio is a musician who goes out of his way to point out every flaw or fault the opera has. He could be a critic? Maybe? He's a well regarded musician at any rate and has made his opinions very public. He doesn't damage their reputation a lot, but sometimes he gets on the team's nerves.

Malludus is the ghost that Spirit says is haunting the mechanic shop. He has no proof, he's never seen it, but he swears that it's the reason stuff is always a mess there. Wind's one of the only people who believes him, but he also believes Ravio about the ghosts that the Lorulian says haunt the opera, so....

As for Ghirahim? I'm not sure..... I'm wracking my brain, but I got nothing. Suggestions.

[lukaherehelp]

Playboyy EP1 - "Sex is about everyone"

PART 2

Grabbed a snack, let's continue:

Now is when my art student ass comes out: only three students is a joke. This type of sessions are normally focus towards all the art students at the school/academy/university. But let's think it as "is for this one classroom only"... okey, I'll let it pass but no department would pay for a model to pose for three students. NONE. Also, maybe is because I live in a cold weather place but can we bring one heather for this poor man, that sheet is only decoration. Enought rant from my part, sorry.

SIR, THIS IS A CLASSROOM, CAN'T YOU PUT THE BEDROOM EYES AWAY?! Like, I cannot blame Zouy for forgetting he's in a public space right now, those eyes would else make me act up.

I get him. I truly understand him. Bestie, I would also worship this man's body like my life depended on it. YOU ARE SO FUCKIN VALID.

THE SMIRK!! I'M FIGHTING THIS HOE, I'M BODY-SLAMMING HIM TO THAT FUCKIN COLD GROUND, SIR YOU ARE GOING TO CATCH THIS HANDS -

Knock, knock knock, snack walking in! And no, we ain't talking about the pizza...

all the english between this two is going to kill me. "Got a meal? Yeah, come get it." I'M ABOUT TO YEET MYSELF OUT OF THE WINDOW.

Sir, I politely ask you for 5ft of space TO BREATH.

This golden lighting looks so good on him... I'm a Kaowoat Supasin whore first, then human (mdl give me the cinematographer for this series, I must bake them a cake as a thank u)

STOP SMILING, WHAT ABOUT MY SANITY?! WHAT ABOUT IT?!?!

"The brush is here" I'M - Lord have mercy on me, I beg of you. This motherfucker is gonna end me.

Zouy, ma' baobei, you are adorable. I'll fight the world for you.

I truly wanna go forward but I just keep getting lost in his chest eyes, I'M SO SORRY -

Also, "you weren't drawing too well today, I can give you some private lessons". I know is an inuendo, but brother:

this is suppossed to be a sketch... YOU AIN'T TEACHING THIS VOICE NOTHING. He is giving you drawing classes, ma brother.

I'm not winning this fight. I'm not. I truly wanna focus but I'm as lost as Zouy right here. The grip on the neck tho...

First of all: First, the fact that you were able to fool your father about what you were watching. Another Nat 20 from the bl boys.

Second, all of you SoongFirst girlies... I get you. I start to understand you. I see y'all.

I feel like they are making Captain a huge red herring but this is only ep1 so I'm going to let them try to convince me that Captain is somehow at fault

" Hello, is this bad bitch number? Ah, no / I'm looking for a savage girl, ah, no " - this is the bgm for this moment 100%

The fact that none of this 4 bitches can tell this ain't Nant is so funny to me. Boy comes in, lights a cigarrete and reads y'alls asses and nothing feels odd???

low blow with the mother comment, Nont.

They are so White and Black coded, I love this for the not me girlies. This is the "what if Black was the inflitrated twin?" AU we deserved.

and of course his wallpaper is them together. He's going to fuck someone up and then fuck Prom

Chat you are adorable, idc what First's ends up being in the grand scheme of things in this series, he's done nothing wrong, look at this face:

an absolute angel.

They are also adorable, HELP.

I feel like that ring is worth this whole ordeal, That was today's payment.

Now, this whole bit with TeenaZouy has to go on mute because the fucking yaoi sounds bUT:

the chill music in the laptop, Zouy in his underwear painting, the oil painting... god, this is such a mood, add snacks and this was my days a few years back. I miss doing model work with my friends.

I'm. climbing. MY WALLS.

T for Troy Teena

FUCK, I'M AT THE 30 PIC LIMIT... Another part I guess.

[omies-odd-writing-spot]

Library mouse {Doom idea]

So this was SUPOSED to be an exercise for me to work on Valen's character finding someone in need of help but…

you have Valen finding a borrower, inspired by @horseyneigh2002 and @raventroll80 's borrowers in DOOM ideas.

will this be more then a one shot? likely not but it was cute and so fun to write a softer side of Valen. Cassidy is a little soft been, no matter what I yeet her as/in, please pat her gently and don't scare her.

Library mouse: [full story in link]

She did not trust the rain anymore. The small girl, a young woman, looked up at the window that used to be her favorite place. Somewhere the employees of the library did not know to look, and the very few that did know this place were a trusted few. Like the maintenance man that knew of her, and when he was doing the morning or nightly rounds would put a small treat for her there to enjoy in what used to be the warm morning and cozy warm evening light from the window.

The small window was almost boxed in with the tall book shelf, so the sun through the glass always warmed up the cubby no matter the season. Spring was the first warm spot away from a heating vent, the summer the excess heat bled out from the open top entrance over the bookcase. It was always a warm safe place to watch the fall rains, and toasty from the few sunny winter days. 

Cassidy pulled her legs up on the miniature couch the late maintenance man had made and gifted her family. If she pulled the blanket over her head and closed her eyes, she could almost pretend her family was in the other seats or at the table their size. That the sound of rain was real and not something unnatural.

It was not even the same warmth as before, but all the little blankets and lap covers still smelled like her family. Or she thought they did. 

Cassidy looked up, making the mistake of looking out the window and seeing the hellish storm, not keeping her eyes on the table. It twisted her stomach and she was not sure she could even sip her tea any more. The girl curled up in the soft padding of her spot, tucking the blanket around her, speaking to no one really. “Rain shouldn’t be orange…”

She felt sick, and sighed before getting up, rubbing her arms and started to fold and tie up the rest of the blankets and pillows in this area. The last of the things she had to gather up before sitting with her cantine of tea. Not able to pretend anymore that the world outside her library had ended. 

Her world inside the library seemed to have ended as well with the death of old Harold, the former maintenance man this last winter. Cassidy could not go to the locked entrance of the library anymore, not able to face what was left of her family’s once long term guardian and friend. 

The young woman thought of the stories from her grandfather and Harold, who might have well been another grandfather, in their youths. Those stories of how they became friends and traveled the bigger world outside of the city, kept Cassidy’s mind busy to get the things she wanted on top of the book shelf and slowly back to her home. There was a special data crystal at her home that she was keeping safe there and she wanted some of the extra pillows to give some extra padding. 

“I miss being a fairy,” Cassidy noted aloud a few hours later, standing in her home. The one that Harold had helped her make after the outside world ended. Sitting in one of the chairs he helped make in the practical field of clover inside the case. It was one of the semi clear areas that was inside the once extensive display case. 

Once it showed a fantasy world the library used to make up with votes. Some patches were growing clover that was almost as big as she was now, most had still healthy moss. Other areas were carefully corralled areas that had bark and rotten wood and her main source of protein, isopods. Cassidy had a little house she could use, with a hatch that led down to the underside of the display case where all the supplies that Harold had left her were safely placed for her. More things were outside of the case, mostly massive gallon sizes of water and juice bottles with the ‘faucets’ that the human made.

It should last a long, long time, Cassidy was barely through one of the water ones, even with watering the clover and moss. She was trying not to use the ones under the case as much as she could. 

Cassidy had gotten water moved up that morning, and was making a salad with fresh clover salad now, a little bit of oil and herbs left to her helped make it seem fancy. She had fresh tea and was sitting in the safety of the display case. Pretty much ready for the evening and night, and deciding if she wanted to sleep in the little house or down in the lower section of the display case. 

Being ‘inside’ was nice to keep the temperature even compared to the library on a whole when the temperature dropped and rose almost randomly. 

There were vibrations that came and when, as normal now. They were all far away and distant outside of the library. It was muffled more so thanks to the display case, almost like fireworks in the distance if she pretended again. Evening was turning to the now normal night, or what passed as night. 

A rusty orange tinted light still filtered through the few uncovered windows. What little power there was from the building generator was more than enough for the led fairy lines around certain paths in the library and in the display case she made home. As long as no bigger lights were turned on, the power might last her lifetime. 

Cassidy fiddled with the handless, pale cream cup that had her tea, thinking about that. Of what she would do tomorrow. Feeling sleepy from the chamomile she just sat at her little table and started to not think. 

Tap-tap. 

Cassidy startled, looking up and half expecting to see one of the monsters.

She blinked at the very, very tall human in armor looking back at her with confusion. He seemed so much bigger than any human she had met, or seen from a distance, broad in the shoulders and had heavy scarring on the exposed face. He had white, short hair on top of a mostly shaved head. His eyes startled her too, an odd thing to focus on, but Cassidy had never seen a human with black eyes.

One black and the other was silver and white?

Cassidy blinked again, before the tiny woman hesitantly waved a greeting.

The massive human blinked and he shifted, Cassidy noticed his armor. It had to be armor like the knights in the books she had read and been read too. A helmet was grasped in the metal hand of the strange human, his other exposed hand had tapped.

“…are you the little one on the message out front?” The deep voice of the human was low, trying not to let his gravel edge scare. Yet Cassidy could hear him even through the glass of the case.

“Message?” Cassidy echoed before remembering seeing that Harold had written many things in blank books as well as messages on the whiteboards around the library. Some to remind her to do things, encouragement, and in the entry hall where Harold had settled to sleep for the last time, a message asking any other survivors to be kind to the small one still living in the library. “Oh…yeah… I guess I am. Are you going to take everything? I don't have much.”

[ysabelmystic]

Top 10 things you got away with as a kid?

Thank you anon for giving me the opportunity to soapbox about the stupid and borderline psychopathic shit I did as a child. I don't know that this'll be a "Top" ten, but it will be the first ten things that come to mind.

Number 1: Attempted Murder (in self defense)

Some of y'all already know this story because it is in fact one of the most surreal things that's ever happened to me and it lives rent free in my head.

I spent my sophomore year of high school in Florida. My neighborhood didn't have blocks. We had ponds, and the houses were built around these ponds. The ponds were also full of alligators. This is important.

Every day after school, my friend and I would stand and talk at the bus stop before walking home to one of our houses. Because we both had overprotective parents, this and going to the park was about the only real freedom we had. So when a black car with a random guy sitting in it started parking across from the bus stop followed us if we started walking, we didn't tell anyone. Instead, we would just wait and talk until the guy got bored and bailed. This continued for about a month until one day, I had to make a to-scale model of St Basil's Cathedral for a school project. That thing was fuckin' heavy, so we were so focused on getting to my friend's place that we forgot that we were being stalked.

About ten minutes after we got to my friend's place, we were getting settled in, eating snacks and setting up the xbox, when his dogs went fucking ballistic. We looked out the window to see a strange man at the door and the black car parked in the driveway. He saw us and then walked around to the garage where we'd let ourselves in but hadn't locked it. So we ran to the garage and locked the side door just in time before they guy grabbed the knob and started trying to get in. When he couldn't, he went to the car entry and started beating at the metal door.

This would be the point when most people would call the police. But again, we had very overprotective parents. If we called the cops and they caught the guy, we'd never be let out of their sight again. If we called the cops and the guy got away, we'd get told off for being overdramatic and wasting the cops' time, and we'd still lose roaming privileges. Instead, over the course of about thirty seconds, we hatched a plan.

My friend’s dad kept his hunting gear in the garage. I knew how to use a bow and arrow at the time, and my friend knew how to swing a hatchet. We decided against using guns since neither of us felt like we could safely use them. Most people were at work, so it was unlikely that anyone would hear any screaming that was to ensue. The plan was to go outside and confront the man. If worst came to worst, we would simply yeet his body into the lake and let the gators take care of him.

We went back out the front door with our weapons and began loudly threatening the man. Not in a normal, “get off my property or I’ll shoot” way. We went into Joker Mode. We were 15, full of rage, severely sleep deprived, high on adrenaline, and in need of therapy. Plus, we thought that this would be the most effective way to scare him off. Luckily, it worked. We saw him rounding the corner of the house and chased him to his car. He sped off, and we never saw him again.

Number 2: Public Nuisance #1

Same year, same state, same friend. It was summer and we were bored as all get-out- bored enough to let my brother and his friend hang out with us. There was a Walgreens across the street from the neighborhood but it was kinda off on some side street so we were technically allowed to ride our bikes there. For whatever reason, on that day’s trip, we decided that this would be the day that we finally drank a Monster. And what the heck, what if we drank two Monsters. And when we got to the park with our bounty of caffeinated beverages, we thought, yknow, wouldn’t it be funny to see who could drink them the fastest. What could go wrong?

What went wrong was that you now had a small pack of children endowed with the energy of The Gods. And what else do you do with this energy but use the woods to play the most chaotic game of tag while playing LMFAO songs and occasionally scaring the shit out of unsuspecting trail walkers. Like yeah this was obnoxious and cringe, but none of us had ever had caffeine before and we now had consumed upwards of 400mg of the stuff. There were no brain cells. Only tachycardia and 2015 YouTube culture. We had become menaces.

This inevitably ended with all of us throwing up, and as the caffeine wore off, we decided to bike home. We started down the main path out of the woods, but at the clearing was a pair of cop cars and two officers walking into the woods. So we had to quickly hide in the bushes and sneak off-trail to the other side of the park. Why do I think they were for us? They were talking about a group of teenagers causing a “disturbance”. But we made it home without getting caught and played Minecraft for the rest of the day. We never did anything like that again, and every day I thank God that TikTok wasn’t a Thing yet.

Number 3: Public Nuisance #2

There were two things my middle school me despised about the girls’ locker room. 1) Everyone was constantly showing off their expensive bras and comparing cup sizes, and it rubbed me the wrong way (the “why” would be discovered later). 2) The perfume. Everyone makes fun of middle school boys and their Axe Body Spray, but the girls at this rich kid school had everything from Bath & Bodyworks to beauty boutique shit. It was beyond overwhelming. I was also deep in my “not like other girls” era and was full of unspecified rage. So, to cope, I started catching grasshoppers during PE. I wouldn’t just release them in the locker rooms. I would look for unlocked lockers or clothes that people had left out in the open, and hide the grasshoppers in their belongings. Just to inflict maximum chaos.

The PE teachers made a big show of looking for the prankster, but I was never caught.

Number 4: Destruction of Property #1

My fifth grade teacher, on God, is one of the shittiest people on this planet. He radiated Ted Bundy vibes. He was a total cunt. We all hated this bitch, and I was pretty much at war with him (he stole my books and destroyed one of my notebooks). This is the most monetary destruction that I caused in one go.

He had a water fountain on his desk, right behind his computer. For whatever reason, he had his computer cord wrapped around the fountain, so it wasn’t laying on the floor. It was basically a tripwire. Feeling silly, I tripped the wire. Fountain hit the floor and shattered. Papers went everywhere. The computer fell. My teacher had to dive into the puddle of water to save his laptop, but it must’ve still been damaged since he had to replace it a week later. And of course, he couldn’t do anything. I was very apologetic about it. It was an accident. I’d tripped. Everyone had seen me trip. It wasn’t the first time I’d tripped on something before. And it was only a matter of time before someone tripped on that cord anyways.

Number 5: Destruction of Property #2

The second worst teacher I’ve ever had was my 8th grade science teacher. He was also a total cunt, not for stealing my shit and destroying my work, but for making jokes about me cutting myself and encouraging the class to bully me. Yay! Just like my fifth grade teacher, he was a cunt with poor organization skills. He had a habit of not grading anyone’s papers until the end of the quarter. He would put each assignment in a stack and set the stack in an empty place on his desk. If he ran out of room, that stack would go on another stack, and so on and so forth. Basically, he had lots and lots of loose stacks of paper on his desk. I don’t remember why he was holding me after class, but I do remember that I was very displeased to be there. Instead of staying in my seat, I decided to take his chair. Y’know. To assert dominance. I fell back into the office chair and started spinning in it. I guess I must’ve hit it at just the right angle because something in the inner stand broke, and it sank to the lowest level. My arm hit a paper stack, which hit another paper stack, which hit another paper stack, and soon, there were papers all over the floor.

Dude didn’t even say anything. He turned red. Not wanting to stick around for the impending explosion, I just left lmao.

Number 6: Trespassing and Evasion

This is probably the most dramatic, disproportionate thing on this list. My first high school and middle school were connected, so overall, the campus was the size of a small college. It would take you at least 20 minutes to walk from one end to the other.

I was about to transfer schools, and to do this, I needed to deliver a folder of paperwork to the front office. Of course, my ADHD ass waited until the last possible day to deliver it. And I thought, “yeah I’ll just deliver this to the office during lunch”. The easiest way to do that was to go through the center doors of the main building and walk to the opposite side of the hall. 5 minute trip. Easy peasy.

Unfortunately, for some reason, someone decided to turn the student teachers into a security team. I got to the doors and was greeted with a very angry woman who was very much against the idea of me walking ten feet across the indoor hallway to the opposite side. I tried to explain my issue, but she wasn’t having it.

I didn’t want to deliver it after school since it meant I probably wouldn’t get a seat on the bus (seriously, it was packed enough that some people would have to sit on the floor, and to exit on the first couple stops, you had to climb out the window). I couldn’t very well walk around the outside of the building for two reasons. 1) This school ran like Mean Girls. The end of the building was popular kids territory, and God help you if you weren’t a popular kid in that area. I wasn’t just unpopular. I was poor. I was a wanted man. I had literal death threats over my head. And even if I made it past them, there was still a 50/50 chance of being caught by a rent-a-cop for being in the parking lot.

Luckily for me (and my friend who was with me for moral support), one of the upstairs side doors had a broken lock or something. It had caution tape all around it to deter people, but caution tape is easily surpassed and removable. Once inside, we just had to make it down the stairs and out to the office courtyard. Someone must’ve heard us though, because one of the student teachers started calling out, asking who’s there and all that jazz. He ran toward the main staircase. Other teachers showed up. We literally had to hide behind the decorative pillars while this became a fucking manhunt. It was like a scene out of a Nickelodeon program. When their backs were turned, we were able to sneak down another staircase and directly into the office. I delivered my papers, and all was well except we now had to make it back in while about 15 paranoid adults on a power trip were walking up and down the halls. Thankfully, my geography teacher’s room was nearby and he was chill so he let us stay in his classroom until lunch was over.

Number 7: Slander

In 4th grade, I framed a classmate as a “nose-picker” by saving water bottle label glue in my desk for 6 months and putting all the dirty goo-balls in his desk on desk cleanout day. All it took was one, “Ew! Look at Roger’s boogers!” and the rest is history.

He bullied my friend though, so he deserved it.

Number 8: Assault and Battery

In 9th grade, one of my classmates was excessively handsy and wouldn’t take no for an answer. Teachers wouldn’t do anything about him, so I took matters into my own hands, or rather, his hands. When he wasn’t paying attention, I slammed a pencil into his hand. It didn’t go all the way through, but it was standing on its own after I let go.

The crazy thing is that my teacher literally saw it and told the kid that he, “had it coming”, which is just another reason that that school was absolutely insane.

Number 9: Illegal Distillation

I once made wine in my backpack on accident. Old grapes met old crackers, and I ignored this until the bag they were in burst. I have no idea how no one stopped me.

Number 10: Theft and Framing (my mom’s contribution)

This is pretty benign, but my mom still brings it up.

My grandparents had a timeshare in Hawaii, and every now and then, they would allow us to go in their stead. One of 8-year-old me’s favorite things about this hotel was the birds, especially the geese. Because of the time difference between Hawaii and California, my brother and I also consistently woke up at 4 in the morning, so we had about 2 to 3 hours of “feed the birds” time before my parents woke up. Usually, we would use the rice Krispies, but we ran out. And the geese were still hungry. The wouldn’t eat the lucky charms, so that left my mom’s Very Expensive You-Can-Only-Buy-This-In-Hawaii-7-Dollars-in-2007-Money hemp and seed cereal. And birds like seeds, and in all fairness, I had no idea it was expensive, so logically we would give the birds this cereal. A whole box of this cereal.

So my mom wakes up to see her cereal lining the balcony and an empty box in the recycling bin. She went into Murder Mother Rage Mode, and like any self-preserving older sibling, I blamed my brother. I guess I was “old enough to know better”, so it worked. She brought it up every year or so as something terrible my brother did until a few years ago when I confessed to my crimes.

[arc-misadventures]

Ok so Jaune FMK: Neo Emerald Cinder

Jaune: FMK

The four of them are on a team; Team JNCR: Juicer.

///

Jaune: Why are we doing this?

Emerald: Because, Neo wants to know who, ‘best girl’ is.

Jaune: Seriously?

Cinder: I suspect its more mostly for bragging rights, you know how, Neo is.

Jaune: That makes sense.

Neo: 😊

Jaune: Hey, once you get to know you, Neo, you get surprisingly predictable.

Neo: 😮

Emerald: Yeah, you are.

Neo: 😠

Jaune: So, since we’re talking about, Neo. Kill, Neo.

Neo: 😨

Jaune: I don’t care if we’re fuck buddies!

Emerald: Wait, you’re what?!

Jaune: I am tired of the morning blowjobs! I want to just wake up, and go about my day! And, I want to be awake so I can enjoy it!

Cinder: That explains why they’re always up so early.

Emerald: And, angry.

Jaune: I’m also tired of the stealth blowjobs in class! I am trying to study! Let me do my homework, woman!

Cinder: I always thought, Jaune was concentrating rather hard during classes. I thought it was because he was dedicated to his studies. Evidently not.

Jaune: So, you die because I want some peace, and quiet?!

Neo: 😍🍆💦🥴

Jaune: I don’t care!

Jaune walks over to their bedroom window, and opens it, before picking up, Neo.

Jaune: Begone thot! YEET!!!

Neo: 🤬

Jaune slams the window shut as he turns back to the other two.

Jaune: Ahh~!

Emerald: She’s going to shank you for that.

Jaune: No, this is just foreplay to her…

Cinder: Excuse me?

Jaune: Neo is… kinky… Best leave it as that.

Cinder: Knowing, Neo it is probably for the best.

Emerald: Ah! Ahhh… Yeah, that’s true.

Jaune: Okay so… Fuck Emerald.

Emerald: Oh, really; And, why is that?

Jaune: …

Jaune: Remember when your scroll was missing for a day…?

Emerald: Did you steal my scroll?!

Jaune: No, Neo did.

Emerald: Oh, that makes sense.

Jaune: And, she hacked it…

Emerald: She what?!

Jaune: And, showed me your… P-Porn history…

Emerald: She what?!

Jaune: And, after seeing your… interests… I was wondering we could… act out some of them…?

Emerald: …

Cinder: Jaune, you can’t be…?!

Emerald: Which ones?

Cinder: Emerald?!

Emerald: Hey! If I can live out my sexual fantasies with someone I can absolutely trust, I’m going to fucking do it?!

Cinder: Okay, okay, okay! Shesh…

Emerald: So, which ones is it, Jaune?

Jaune: T-The h-harem girl o-outfit… a-among other things…

Emerald: Oh… Why didn’t you tell me sooner?

Cinder: S-Sooner…?

Emerald: I need to go…

Cinder: Go, where are you going?

Emerald: Shopping.

Cinder: Oh, have fun…?

The door slams shut as, Emerald left the room leaving the knight, and the princess all alone.

Jaune: …

Cinder: …

Jaune: So… Since the other two have taken the other two slots… Marry me?

Cinder: I thought we would agreed; I’ll answer you, after we graduate.

Jaune: i know, I just like hearing you say yes.

Cinder: Jaune?! I haven’t said yes!

Jaune: Directly, no. But, indirectly, yes you have.

Cinder: Oh shut up~!

Jaune: Make me~!

The duo soon close as the secret lovers shared another heartfelt kiss. As they break apart, the happy mood suddenly shifts as, she glares at her knight she accusingly pokes, Jaune’s chest.

Cinder: Okay, pretty boy! You better tell me, or I’ll burn you! Why are you sleeping with the rest of our teammates?! And, since when have you been sleeping with them?!

Jaune: Well… With, Neo it started one day after she walked in on me in the shower. She the proceeded to jump on me when ever she wanted to.

Cinder: That… That sounds like something, Neo would do.

Jaune: As for, Emerald… Well, We had a fight, here… In this room.… S-She kept on using her semblance to annoy me. Things then got heated, and I grabbed her arms… And, pinned her against the wall… We stared, at each other for a bit, then she shoved her tongue down my throat, I pinned her on the bed, and… Yeah… we did it…

Cinder: That explains why she’s been teasing you so often then. So she can be… Disciplined?

Jaune: Uhhh…?

Cinder: Oh, how naughty, Emerald~!

Jaune: And, then we happened after the dance.

Cinder: Ahh how you danced with me~! The way your body moved, and swayed to the rhythm of the song. The impact we held upon the dance floor, the sway we all had. How everyone’s eyes were glued on us as he claimed the dance hall as our own~! Mmm~! How empowering you made me feel that day~! I had to bed you after that display of raw power~!

Jaune: Eh? I thought it was because I called you princess?

Cinder: I-It isn’t because of that…

Jaune: Really, didn’t you push me down, slowly undo my shirt after I promised you, that I your honour bound knight, save his trapped princess? That wasn’t the reason why you decided to… Whoa?!

Cinder: Shut up my, Knight, and service your, Princess~!

Jaune: Gladly, your Grace~!

~~~

Neo: 😏

Emerald: Yeah, yeah… You we’re right, they were fucking each other too…

Neo: 😊

Emerald: Oh quite being so smug, and let’s get in there, and join them.

Neo: 😈

[cha-melodius]

Getting ready to publish a new fic, so I'm just gonna yeet some slightly older WIP stuff from the last time I worked on the YGM AU and run away. Thanks for the tags @sherryvalli, @kiwiana-writes, @adreamareads for teaser Tuesday and @orchidscript for tagging me in a last line game; this does contain the last line I wrote on this WIP.

Alex is still tidying up after closing when Nora comes in, slings her bag into one of the chairs at the front, and sets up in front of the shop’s computer. In the two weeks since the Mountchristen announcement she’s been almost obsessively running the shop’s sales numbers, so much so that Alex had to tell her he wasn’t going to pay her any more than her usual number of hours. It hasn’t stopped her. When he’d tried to joke that he didn’t realize how much the shop meant to her, she’d given him a weird look like he was missing something obvious. It’s not like she needs the job; she only really does it to help him out while she’s working on her PhD, and yeah she’s bi but she’s doesn’t do much reading that’s not boring academic papers about statistics. He leaves her to her numbers and continues his usual routine, straightening stacks books and restocking gaps in the shelves. There’s something almost meditative about it, and as he works he lets his mind wander, as it usually does these days, to H and what he might say in his next email. He’s got a lot on his mind these days, and it’s harder and harder not to say fuck it and tell H all about his business woes. Surely they know each other well enough at this point. Every time he just about convinces himself, though, he pulls back.  Eventually he grabs a stack of books he’s collected—all copies of the titles that Henry had purchased earlier today, because the man seemed like he had good taste in books and Alex could use ideas on new things to feature in the front window—and wanders over to the front counter, where the staccato rhythm of computer keys is strangely absent.

tagging those who might want to share OR who might just want to read haha @welcometololaland, @rmd-writes, @celeritas2997, @cricketnationrise, @loki-is-my-kink-awakening, @14carrotghoul, @clottedcreamfudge, @indomitable-love, @stutteringpeach, @iboatedhere, @nontoxic-writes, @lilythesilly, @leaves-of-laurelin, @tintagel-or-cockleshells

[misteria247]

Ya know something? Leo isn't the only one who craves violence in the 2012 series oh no no no.

April also craves this.

After seeing the one post a few days back from being tagged in it thanks to the lovely @000marie198 of Leo, April, Mikey and Raph committing vehicular homicide on a car mutant and seeing the giddy faces of Leo, Mikey and April, it's got me thinking about April and good God she's just as violent as our favorite blue clad leader.

Literally in the beginning of the show when April is kidnapped with her dad by Kraang her first response is to hit and kick them. And when they're put in their cell, April is seen clawing and biting at one of the Kraang bots, being pretty violent during the whole thing. Like that was only in episode one.

And then there was April and Karai's first meeting at the restaurant where at first April's pretty chill with Karai but as soon as she heard Karai say the iconic line Turtle Soup, her chill kind personality goes straight out the window. My girl quite literally begins to throw hands at a highly trained ninja, before kneeing her incredibly hard in the gut after saying something extremely sarcastic and throwing Karai's ass down the subway station staircase. And then there's the moment of fighting Super Shredder where April literally yeets him off a fucking building with her psychic abilities.

Literally these are only a few instances that I can think of off the top of my head from my memory alone where April literally chooses violence as her go to. Like April's just as bad as Leo and it's honestly hilarious. Like both of them are the chillest ones out of their little family and they're both are also the first ones to immediately go for the violence option whenever shit goes down like bro. 😂

[sirfrogsworth]

The last thing my mom bought me was a fancy A/V receiver. She got some inheritance after her mom passed and wanted to do something nice for me since I took care of her and dad pretty much all by myself.

She died shortly after it arrived and I didn't even take it out of the box for over a year. I didn't hook it up until after my dad died. I don't know why I took so long. I guess for a long time it just didn't feel all that important anymore.

It has a lot of features and a lot of power and it seems really good... on paper.

The plan was to install 4 ceiling speakers and add two more floor speakers to get a 7.1.4 Dolby Atmos experience in my basement bedroom. I would be able to have sound come from literally every direction. (Well, not from below.)

That is still a plan, but I have had to postpone all of that due to budget cuts. The fancy receiver has been relegated to a measly 3.1 experience since I moved upstairs. I'm considering converting the upstairs living room into my home theater instead of my bedroom. I'd have a little more space and higher ceilings for the Atmos speakers, but I'd lose the concrete floor of the basement. So I'd have to figure out how to temper the vibrations of the subwoofer into our creaky floor.

ANYWAY.

The problem is... the actual day-to-day operation of this fancy receiver has been super quirky and frustrating.

The thing people may not realize about high end electronics is that they always have their issues. You'd think they'd be bug-free for that price, but it is usually quite the opposite. You have to figure out what all the bugs are and then research all of the workarounds in forums and eventually you'll learn a workflow to make the device function for your needs.

Part of the reason is that the higher the price, the more features they cram in, the more that can go wrong. But a lot of it is just poor software development. They focus almost all of their attention on getting the hardware right.

It's a maddening troubleshooting process and sometimes makes you want to buy that Sonos crap or maybe even... Bose. *shiver*

But this receiver has been *extra* buggy. I was a little disappointed by this. And I felt guilty for hating this wonderful gift my mom gave me. I have this Yamaha receiver that was a third of the price and it functions wonderfully.

Or maybe I just think that because I've already figured out all the quirks and workarounds.

No, I'm pretty sure the Yamaha has been a fairly smooth experience.

I kinda love my old Yamaha.

And I also love that they make pianos and motorcycles and drums and marching band equipment and sporting goods and boats.

Yamaha was all...

It's just that Yamaha doesn't have the Dirac calibration system included like the Onkyo and everyone on the forums said that was a big deal. So I abandoned the trusty Yamaha brand for Onkyo and it's 130 watts and 11 channels of processing and HDMI 2.1 future proofing.

The other day I noticed something extra weird with the Onkyo. My Nvidia Shield (another amazing yet frustrating device) was outputting a 5.1 signal. But my receiver thought it was stereo.

Another bug.

So I headed to the forums and found the solution. I had to turn off "Dolby processing" in a deep submenu of a submenu in my Shield settings. My receiver already does Dolby processing so I guess I was doing double Dolby processing and that is like crossing the streams in Ghostbusters.

Weirdly, this fixed like half of my issues. I don't know how in the world I was supposed to know this one setting buried deep in the menus was causing all this havoc. But it has made me go from wanting to yeet this thing out the window and get a Bose clock radio... to mostly enjoying the experience of having a fancy receiver.

It still handles HDMI switching as if it is having a stroke, but I have found if you turn everything off and power on the Shield FIRST and then all the other components, I can prevent most of the stroke symptoms.

Though sometimes it takes 3 tries.

Onkyo: SOFTWARE DEVELOPMENT??? WHAT'S THAT??

In any case, THANKS MOM!

I'm sure I will love your gift when I have 12 speakers blaring at me from every direction.