#one side effect of me becoming active in fandom is apparently that now a lot more people are subjected to my shit handwriting LMAO

[astranauticus]

doing some robit sketches

[bybdolan]

i can't find your ramblings on swifties, but I'd love to read it if you want to elaborate here, or screen shot it? i feel like it's been building since the yntcd mv to miss americana doc period of time. the disappointment of her aligning herself as lgbt in the mv, the song comparing her haters to suffering homophobia, the lack of blm effort after her apparent political awakening... that development was when i started to notice it on tumblr, at least

The word "ramble" was maybe a bit overstated, given that it was more or less just me pointing out that it's a thing that happens, but I am very glad you are asking me this because I have a lot of thoughts! If nobody else will write an essay on this, it might as well be me.

I think the groundwork for the fandom crumbling was already laid in rep era – not because of anything Taylor did, but because of the fandom: Every small criticism of Taylor was called "hate" and I think the idea of "good" vs "bad" fan really developed during that time. And the protectiveness makes sense after everything that happened during 2016 and it only increased after Taylor went more in-depth on her mental health struggles during Lover promo, but it also created a big divide in the fandom and made it a fairly hostile place.

Speaking of Lover: I agree with you that that was the era where a lot of people fell out of love with her a bit. From the lead single to whatever YNTCD was, to her "political awakening" shtick: There were a lot of things going on in that era that people found questionable, and this lack of general hype for the album led to even more fandom fights (I will keep bringing up the fandom because I think it's an extension of the artist and very connected to how we view them). I think what you said about the political aspects of that era is 100% accurate – it's ironic that fans critizised her more for little political action after Miss Americana than most of them did when she wasn't political at all, but it also makes sense: if you make being politically outspoken a huge part of your marketing and therefore profit off of it and then don't do much in that regard, people are going to call bullshit. To be fair to her: She didn't do nothing and a celebrity of her caliber has to rethink every move in that regard, but I think the frustration is justified, ESPECIALLY when Taylor is quick to tweet about problems concerning herself (see: that Ginny and Georgia tweet, which I don't want to talk about much because it makes me sigh – but as a side note: The fandom can be vicious and racist and homophobic and I think Taylor not commenting on that has upset people). And what I said about celebrities rethinking every move gets a bit sour to me when remembering that she is in a movie with that O'Russell guy. Very defensive fans have a point when they say that people expect a lot from Taylor, and obviously she can't be perfect, but Taylor did feed into those expectations when making a documentary about not feeling muzzled anymore etc. (There goes the loudest woman this town has ever seen.) A rich white lady shouldn't necessarily be looked at for political guidance, however, she has power and her using her voice has proven to be very effective, and I think fans are disappointed she doesn't use it more often (+ for causes not benefiting herself).

Which brings us to her "capitalist girlboss agenda" that some people take issue with and that I already touched on: Taylor is very proud of her marketing strategies and knowing how to make money. She loves being a businesswoman, and it is admirable that she has been so active in her own management since she was very young, but it's something that clashes with her authenticity and accessibility a lot of fans cherish. I think we all know why she cut out her fan interactions and I personally think it is for the better, however, the tactics that took the place of those interactions are a bit "uuuh" to many. I think this is also where the generation gap of the fandom comes in: Taylor has fans her age that grew up with her, but she also has very young fans and the marketing strategies aimed at the latter don't necessarily go over well with the former. But this just as a side note. I think the introduction of Easter Eggs is a noteworthy moment in fandom history given how big of a part they now play in interacting with Taylor. And it's a fun idea, but there is the issue of the fandom taking it very far and Easter Eggs not leading to anything (1989 TV says hi). It's frustrating to many to not know when a single or an album will be released, and it is tiring to not be able to view anything she posts normally because most likely, it's a hint to something, or at least fans will act like it is. Fans are always used to drive up sales and engagement, as are personal instagram posts, but it is jarring to see it become so overt. I do genuinely believe the Easter Eggs were supposed to be fun for the fans at first, as are the vault thingies, but with the level of marketing and self-mythologization attached to it, it feels cold and sterile. Add that to the insanely high prices for boring merch and debacles like the "digitally signed" CD and you have yourself a recipe for fan disappointment. Taylor has branded herself as her fans' best friend for long, and because she is quirky and weird and often not too polished it worked – but it's not what she wants anymore, and she deserves nothing more than her privacy, but a fan used to genuine engagement with her is going to be taken aback by the new marketing strategies. There ARE ways to be private while still feeling personal in your branding (see Lorde's emails) but Taylor's team didn't want to go down that route apparently.

With all that being said: Taylor's happiness and her being content with her life is more important than whatever I get out of her and her music, and she remains one of the greatest songwriters of our generation – nobody can take that away. And I am sure that many fans will roll their eyes at this post because they still love her like they did when they first discovered her, and I am very happy for them and happy that Taylor has fans that loyal, but this post serves as an attempt to analyse shifts in the fandom that I have noticed over the past few years. I also think it's worth noting that once you start focusing on the negative aspects of something those negative things start jumping out to you, and it's important to maybe step back and focus on the good aspects once in a while – a lot of which I didn't mention because this is not what this post is about. But they are there, and I think the love for Taylor's music can easily sustain even when interest in her as a person fades.

[bnhasalt]

Long post time

Okay unpopular opinion I guess but I. Really don’t like the takes I’m seeing in the anti B*ku tag right now. Particularly about M*tsuki.And I know she’s a character I haven’t talked about extensively on this blog, because it’s true that depending on what way you choose to dissect mha as a piece of media,[either by judging it on the basis of the content in-universe (ex: character a’s actions were affected by character b’s) or by judging it based on the real life aspect of it (ex: the author did this because x)], M*tsuki really can be pretty divisive.  On one end you have people saying that M*tsuki being abusive is what caused B*kugo to turn out... like that.. And use that as a justification of his behavior.  Then on the other end you have people saying ‘hey- no! Her hitting him was clearly just a joke- it was slapstick! the author clearly didn’t intend her to be interpreted as abusive so you shouldn’t blame her character at all! B*kugo is the ONLY one at fault’ And see, I don’t find either of these opinions fully correct. But since my main criticisms of the series have to do with B*kugo , and a lot of people in the anti side of the fandom subscribe to the second idea, I DID turn a blind eye to it for a rather long time. However when I see people actively DEFENDING HER, and saying her actions aren’t abuse at all? That’s when I have to put my foot down.  So. Ahem. Let’s clear a couple things up.

𝙄 𝘿𝙊 𝙉𝙊𝙏 𝘾𝘼𝙍𝙀 𝙃𝙊𝙒 𝙔𝙊𝙐'𝙍𝙀 𝘾𝙃𝙊𝙊𝙎𝙄𝙉𝙂 𝙏𝙊 𝘼𝙉𝘼𝙇𝙔𝙕𝙀 𝙔𝙊𝙐𝙍 𝙈𝙀𝘿𝙄𝘼, 𝙃𝙄𝙏𝙏𝙄𝙉𝙂 𝘼 𝘾𝙃𝙄𝙇𝘿 𝙄𝙎 𝘼𝙇𝙒𝘼𝙔𝙎 𝘼𝘽𝙐𝙎𝙀, 𝙒𝙀𝙏𝙃𝙀𝙍 𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝘼𝙐𝙏𝙃𝙊𝙍 𝙄𝙉𝙏𝙀𝙉𝘿𝙀𝘿 𝙄𝙏 𝙊𝙍 𝙉𝙊𝙏. ’corporal punishment’ or whatever you want to call it is nothing but a shitty little scapegoat. Every single expert on the subject of child psychology (and psychology in general as well) - they’ve been screaming for ages how it’s a terrible way to raise a child, that only leads to trauma , the child becoming reclusive and -unlike what any abuser likes to claim- loosing respect for the perpetrator, either becoming hateful towards them or living in fear of them. (some sources: l. II. III.)

And if you’re still on the authorial intent intent train wondering just WHY I’m saying it shouldn’t be justified that way, let me phrase it like this:   H*rikoshi also intended for 𝙈*𝙣𝙚𝙩𝙖 to be just a comic relief character and nothing more, yet we still all seem to be in collective agreement that he’s actually a disgusting pervert and a danger to all the girls in ua.  Again: Authorial intent does NOT matter when the content itself is harmful. I’m hot telling you to crucify H*rikoshi over this, what I’m saying is that critical thought needs to be applied here.  If you think that the sexualization of the students,  M*neta’s entire existence, and scenes like the one where B*kugo throws the sharp bit at M-doriya and makes him bleed are bad/harmful even though they weren’t intended as such, there is no reason whatsoever to excuse M*tsuki from being judged the same way. If anything, it reads like this abusive behavior is being excused so the ‘’B*kugo is just a terrible person by himself, don’t bring anything/anyone else into it’’ narrative can be furthered. And because the abuse portrayed is ‘not bad/severe enough’ that’s apparently an acceptable take to make.  But not all abuse looks like the T-doroki family. Not all abusers are End*avors or Ov*rhauls. And just because the victim isn’t a Sh-to or an E-ri (see: a good person with the typical signs of trauma) , it doesn’t change the fact that they were abused. To imply otherwise is to undermine both the range of effects abuse has on real people, and those people’s experiences as a whole. So to sum up the first part of this post, say it with me kids: 

Good? good. So at this point you may be thinking ‘’so what then? If you do think that B*kugo was abused, does that mean you find his behavior justifiable?’’ And the answer to that is:

Haha, NO.

See, being abused doesn’t grant anyone saint status. Just how you can be abused and turn out an amazing person, you can also be abused an turn out an absolute sack of shit. At that point the abuse may explain the behavior, but it does not under any circumstances justify it.  (And no, young age doesn’t justify it either. Yes teenagers - young adults do get a bit more room for error generally speaking, but when they commit horrendous acts that doesn’t change jack shit about the magnitude of the act or how it affects others.) From a certain point on people are fully responsible for their own actions and you can’t pin their every error on something from their past (especially if they’re not even TRYING to correct said errors, or if the error itself is unforgivable). To conclude- The point of this post isn’t to show that either of these characters is morally ‘better’ or ‘worse’ than the other , but to point out that BOTH of them can be bad at the same time for different reasons, without using one’s behavior to justify the other’s, or ignoring one’s to attack the other. With the added secondary suggestion to analyze media from various angles for the most objective results in any critique. . . . Ps: i forgot to say anything about the couple of people i saw saying that B*ku deserves the beatings from his mom, so let me add it here. :) ahem. I do not CARE that the bastard is my most hated character of all time, I WILL manifest inside your house and drink your bone marrow like a fucking soup, FUCKING LISTEN TO WHAT YOU’RE SAYING FOR ONE DAMN SECOND P L E A S E-

[superhusbands4ever]

The Chain - Chapter 4/15

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Full Work | AO3 Link

Fandom: The Bad Batch (Star Wars)

Characters: Crosshair, Hunter, Howzer, Rex, Wrecker, Tech, Echo, Omega, Various Clones

Relationships: Crosshair & Howzer, Crosshair & Rex, Crosshair & The Bad Batch, Crosshair & Omega, Hunter & Rex, Hunter & Omega

Additional Tags: Redemption, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Humor, Found Family, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Graphic Violence, Eventual Happy Ending, Angst with a Happy Ending

Summary: One year after the events of The Bad Batch, Crosshair struggles to reconcile his choice with the harsh truth of the world around him. He finds enlightenment in the most unlikely of places and realizes he may have made the wrong decision. But is it too late to do something about it?

Two years after the events of The Bad Batch, Rex reluctantly agrees to allow Hunter and his squad to help him rescue a man who's been captured by the Empire, an Imperial double agent who's cover has been blown. What Hunter thought to be a simple extraction ends up having far greater consequences for their squad than he could have ever anticipated.

Chapter Warnings: None

Right actions in the future are the best apologies for bad actions in the past.

Tryon Edwards

Rex never struck Hunter as the type to let his nerves get the best of him. That one attempted fist fight with Crosshair when rescuing Echo notwithstanding, Rex was always calm and level headed when they worked together in the past. Skako Minor, Anaxes, on Bracca - it was clear why Rex was the Captain of the famously wild Torrent Company and essentially the de facto commander of the infamous 501st Legion. His calm and steady presence along with his cool confidence made him exactly the kind of guy people naturally gravitated to, naturally turned to for leadership.

Which is why it was weird that Rex seemed fidgety in a way he’d never seen from the man before. Anyone who didn’t know him wouldn’t notice, but Hunter could see the way he kept fiddling with the buttons on the controls needlessly. He could hear the leather of Rex’s gloves squeak as he clenched and unclenched his hands periodically. And only Hunter would be able to hear the way Rex kept consciously making an effort to unclench his jaw and stop grinding his teeth.

After the fourth time in as many minutes that Rex flexed his fingers, Hunter finally spoke up.

“Are you alright, Captain?”

Rex glanced at Hunter, hands deliberately stilling in his lap as he sat up straighter.

“Yes,” he said. “Just restless, I suppose.”

Hunter nodded, staring out at the streaking blue and white light of hyperspace through the viewport of the freighter’s cockpit.

“This operative of yours,” Hunter said after a moment, “you two are close?”

Whatever response Hunter was expecting from the other man, it wasn’t for him to laugh. Even Rex seemed startled by the response, looking sheepishly over at the sergeant.

“Sorry,” Rex said, rubbing a hand over his head. “I just- I certainly never expected to be, but… yeah. Yeah. I suppose we are.”

“You don’t get along?”

“We didn’t at first,” Rex said, crossing his arms across his chestplate. “ Manda , I used to hate the guy. But… he’s a good man. The more I worked with him, the more I spoke with the people he helped, I realized that. He’s done a lot for our brothers.”

Hunter nodded slowly. “How did you two meet?”

“Oh, uh—“ Rex twitched again as he went to fiddle with the pilot controls. “We met back during the war.”

“You served together?”

“Ehh,” Rex hedged, “Only a couple of times towards the end.”

Hunter waited for Rex to elaborate but the other man was silent, continuing to mess with the controls. The ship was on autopilot, so he wasn’t actually doing anything. He listened as Rex’s heart rate slowly started gaining speed.

“So… who did he serve under? Maybe I’ve heard of—“

The navicomputer beeped and Rex’s shoulders slumped nearly imperceptively.

“Why don’t you go back and check on the others?” If Hunter didn’t know any better he’d say Rex sounded… relieved? “We should be arriving soon and we still need to rework the plan now that you all are here.”

Hunter frowned. Rex studiously avoided his eyes. He wasn’t ignorant to the fact that Rex was purposefully trying to get rid of him - the man was apparently as good at lying as Wrecker - but he wasn’t sure why.

Finally Hunter nodded. He tapped his bracer against Rex’s pauldron and made his way out of the cockpit.

Rex mumbled something under his breath as the doors slid shut, but the hydraulics were too loud over the man’s voice for Hunter to be able to make out what was said.

He found everyone in the hold, Tech, Wrecker, Boil, Echo, and Omega sitting around the floor in a circle, with Gregor on a bench in the corner cleaning his blaster. He walked in just as Echo laughed at whatever the reg had said.

“Still, I’m glad to see you,” Boil said as Echo’s laughter died down. “Cody mentioned that Rex had found you, but I didn’t get the chance to reach out before… well…”

Echo smiled sadly, resting his flesh hand on Boil’s shoulder.

“It was always entertaining to listen to Rex rant to Cody about all the shenanigans you and Fives got into.”

“Yeah,” Echo agreed, voice gruff. “Though from what I hear, you and Waxer certainly kept Cody on his toes.”

Boil laughed.

“True. Usually it was Waxer making the plans. I somehow always ended up getting dragged along.”

“Yeah, I know how that goes.” Echo sighed. “I’m sorry, by the way. I read about Umbara. I can’t even imagine--”

“Don’t be,” Boil sighed, rubbing at the red scar on the side of his shaved head. “It felt unbearable at the time, but… sometimes I… sometimes I’m almost relieved? Force, that sounds horrible but it’s true. Sometimes I’m relieved he was gone so he wasn’t forced to become monsters like we were. Sometimes I can’t help but wonder if they were the lucky ones.”

“You’re not a monster, Boil,” Gregor piped up from the corner. “Whatever the chip made you do wasn’t you. You had no choice.”

Boil nodded slowly, fingers lingering on his temple.

“I still did it, though.”

“I know what you mean,” Wrecker said quietly, eyes on the ground. “When my chip activated I nearly killed my squad. If Rex hadn’t been there to stop me, I would have.”

Omega scooted closer to Wrecker and grabbed his hand, leaning her head against his shoulder. He smiled down at her.

Boil looked sympathetic. “It’s a good thing Rex was there, then. Rex was the one who picked up my ship when I left Corellia. I wish I could say I was surprised to see he’d made it out, but I don’t think I was, really. Cody always believed Rex would survive all of this.”

“Did you…” Echo trailed off, rubbing his neck awkwardly. “Did you… work with Cody while--”

“No,” Boil said firmly, shaking his head. “The GAR structure reorganized surprisingly quickly after the order went out. The 212th was recalled back to Coruscant and was divided up after that. Ghost Company went to Grand Admiral Tarkin while Cody and the other Marshal Commanders were sent to work directly under Palpatine. I haven’t seen Cody since we arrived on Coruscant after Uptapau.”

They were all quiet after that, heads bowed in remembrance of both their fallen and lost brothers. Besides Omega, everyone in the ship had worked under Cody’s command at some point and respected him for the great leader and big brother to all clones that he was. To imagine the strong willed, compassionate, selfless man under the direct control of someone like Palpatine was almost too much to bear.

It was thanks to Cody that Hunter and the others had even been allowed off Kamino. He’d been able to pull rank and convince Nala Se and the other Kaminoan scientists and trainers that the Unit 99s, of which Hunter, Crosshair, Tech, and Wrecker had been the last of, could be useful in the war. If it weren’t for Cody, they would have spent the rest of their days toiling around in Tipoca City, completing test after test until they were finally deemed too “defective” and decommissioned like the others in their unit, or put on janitorial duty like 99.

“What about you guys?” Boil’s quiet voice sounded overly loud in the solemn silence of the ship's hold. “How did you survive the order? Did the Commander get you guys out too?”

“No,” Tech said, adjusting his goggles. “Our chips were never activated. They malfunctioned due to our deviant nature from the other, regular clones.”

Boil cast Wrecker a sidelong look.

“But I thought—“

“His activated later as an effect of repeated head trauma to the chip’s implantation site.”

“Well, I’m glad you guys didn’t have to experience that. Though, I imagine it must have been a very difficult situation for you surrounded by everyone else.”

“Heh, you could say that again,” Wrecker grumbled under his breath.

“We’ve essentially been on the run from the Empire for the last three years,” Echo said. “The vod’e pretty much attack us on sight.”

“You said the Commander helped you escape recently?” Omega piped up from under Wrecker’s arm.

Boil nodded slowly, gaze trained on the ground.

“I’ve only been on Yavin for about a day and a half,” Boil said. “The Commander got me out just a few days ago”

“And then he was discovered,” Tech said succinctly. Echo smacked his arm.

“Yeah,” Boil said quietly, running his hand over his hair. “Extracting me was a risk, from what Howzer said.”

“It was a different op than the usual extractions,” Gregor said from the corner. “Typically he just gave us foot soldiers that he could say were killed in action on missions. Two or three at a time, buried under flimsiwork and red tape. He’d splice the system and mark them as KIA. Apparently the Empire doesn’t care much if they lose one or two rank and file clones.”

“I was higher up in the command structure, though,” Boil added. “I was a lieutenant on Grand Admiral Tarkin’s security team. He was attending some diplomatic event in Corellia and I was assigned a protection squad. The Commander caught me as I was coming off my shift and took me to some tiny infirmary in the hotel. Stunned me and took my chip out. I barely knew what was going on when he told me that he was getting me out of the Empire and we needed to hurry.”

“A natborn Imperial officer helping clones?”

“No,” Boil shook his head, “he is a clone.”

Everyone was silent and Hunter frowned. A clone commander working from within the Empire?

Gregor paused his cleaning and looked up at the group, eyes flickering from them to Hunter, who still lingered in the doorway.

“A clone spy within the Empire?” Tech asked skeptically. “Without his chip?”

Boil nodded. “I wasn’t sure at first, either. He never took his helmet off and he didn’t sound like any clone I’d ever met. But he understood what it was like when I woke up freaking out, asking questions, getting angry. He talked me down, told me that he knew it was disorienting to wake up suddenly in control of your own body after so long but we didn’t have time for an existential crisis so I needed to get myself together.

“So what has he been doing?” Echo questioned. “Just… pretending his chip is active?”

“I guess so. Howzer confirmed it later. They’re pretty close, I guess  - I thought Howzer was going to lose it when the distress signal went off.”

“How did the Commander get his out?”

Boil shrugged. “I didn’t ask.”

The room fell silent at that.

Something about the situation prickled at the back of Hunter’s mind. Maybe it was just the similarities to their own brother. Crosshair had chosen to stay with the Empire as well, even when out from under the chip’s influence - though there was no denying that Crosshair’s motivations and this Commander’s motivations were extremely different.

Crosshair chose to stay, to leave the team, their family, behind for selfish reasons - ego and power and a place in the new galactic order. This Commander chose to stay not for himself, but to help those who couldn’t help themselves.

The knowledge burned something inside him, but Hunter buried it down.

This is who I am. .

“We all thought he was crazy when he reached out to Rex,” Gregor piped up, his blaster discarded on the bench next to him. “The whole thing was his idea. We warned him it was suicide, but he didn’t care. Rex thought he’d be dead within a month, but he’s been helping clones get out for nearly two years now. Howzer kept telling him it was time to get out before he got caught, but he wouldn’t listen. Now here we are.”

“I tried to get him to come with me. Told him if they found out what he’d done, they’d kill him.” Boil snorted. “You know what he said to me? He said ‘ stop being a noble di’kut and get in the ship before I stun you and put the chip back in. ’”

They all frowned at the threat, Gregor giggling from his place in the corner.

“I’m glad to be going back for the Commander,” Boil said. “Obviously I wish it were in better circumstances. I know it was his decision to stay behind, but it still felt wrong leaving him there, you know? Colt always said we never leave a man behind.”

“Yeah,” Echo said quietly, eyes meeting Hunter’s across the room. “I know the feeling.”

Hunter held Echo’s gaze, same as he always did when the topic came up over the last two years. And same as every other time, in the face of Echo’s admonishment, Hunter said nothing in return. There was nothing to say that hadn’t already been discussed at length.

Repeatedly.

Loudly.

Wrecker and Tech glanced at each other over Echo’s head while Omega averted her eyes to the ground.

The ship shook as it dropped out of hyperspace and Hunter took that as his que to get moving.

“Rex said we’ll be touching down soon,” he said, stepping fully into the room. “We should start getting ready.”

As the others moved over to Gregor to begin gearing up, Echo stood and held Hunter’s gaze a moment longer. Hunter shook his head and Echo sighed before moving to join the others.

He had a feeling they’d be having that discussion once again once this mission was over.

Hunter felt a hand in his and he looked down to meet Omega’s eyes. She smiled sadly at him, squeezing his hand. He squeezed back, but couldn’t quite drudge up the willpower to smile in return.

“C’mon,” he said instead, “let’s gear up.”

She nodded and walked over to the group, helping Echo loop his pack over his scomp arm. Hunter watched them all and tried not to think about the weird feeling lingering in the back of his mind.

~

“Alright,” Rex said as the ramp to the ship lowered. They’d landed in the forest, hidden at the bottom of the mountain the same as they had last time. Gregor helped Tech and Rex navigate the ship to an area below the mountain where there was a hidden entry point similar to the vents they had escaped through last time.

“Echo, Hunter, Tech, Boil, and Gregor - you’re with me. Wrecker, stay with the ship.”

“Wha- oh, come on!” Wrecker said, slipping his helmet up to stare at Rex with wide eyes. “I can help!”

“You will help,” Rex held his hands up placatingly, “we need someone to stay with the ship that can meet us at the exit. I get a feeling we’re going to need to make a quick get away.”

“Aww, why can’t Tech do it?”

“We need Tech to help Gregor and Echo hack the systems,” Rex explained calmly. “This is a stealth mission, Wrecker, and those aren’t your, uh… strong suit.”

Wrecker groaned, pulling his helmet off and slunking off to sit on a crate. Omega patted his hand.

“Sorry, Wrecker. But I just can’t take any risks with this.”

“Nah, I understand,” and to Wrecker’s credit, he did sound like he meant it.

Rex nodded and gestured for the others to follow him off the ship.

Before Omega could get far, Hunter grabbed her elbow.

“Omega.... I want you to stay on the ship with Wrecker.”

Omega frowned.

“Why? I can help!”

Hunter sighed. She stood with arms crossed as she leveled a glare at Hunter and her eyes filled with that stubborn indignation she’d been showing more and more since she’d reached her teenage years.

As she got older, every time she glared at him like that she looked more and more like--

“We’re walking straight into an Imperial base,” Hunter said, trying to keep his tone as even as possible. “You remember what happened last time.”

“It was my idea to help on this mission.”

“It was,” Hunter conceded. “Though, you didn’t exactly talk it through with us before offering.”

She had the grace to look a little chastised at that.

“This is dangerous, Omega. High level stuff, not what we usually do. I don’t want you to get hurt.”

He trailed off and the fire seemed to go out from under Omega with her disappointed sigh.

“Fine,” she said. “But I don’t like it. If you get caught again, we will be having words.”

Hunter chuckled. “Noted.”

Her eyes searched his face a moment longer before she flung her arms around his waist, burying her face in his chest.

“Be careful.”

“I will,” he rested his chin on top of her curls. “I promise.”

Hunter’s commlink beeped and Rex’s voice filled the room.

“Hunter, let’s move out.”

Omega pulled back and crossed her arms as Hunter pulled on his helmet. She waved to him as he walked down the ramp, her and Wrecker both watching as the group started making their way toward the base of the mountain.

Hunter stared up at the mountain as they worked their way through the forest, his mind jumping back to the last time they had been on this planet, attempting a rescue from this exact base. Hopefully this time went better than the last. Hopefully no one was captured again. Hopefully they could get in and out without alerting anyone, though his squad was never that lucky.

Hopefully Crosshair isn’t here, Hunter thought as they climbed into the vent shaft. They hadn’t seen nor heard from Crosshair since the day they left Tipoca City. The Empire was large and the Galaxy even larger, so the chances were slim. He hoped. He really wasn’t in the mood to deal with a family reunion today.

[tarithenurse]

Spark - 4

Fandom: Enn Enn no Shouboutai / Fire Force. Pairing: Shinmon Benimaru x fem!reader. Content: Humiliation, slight worry, admissions. A/N: Just waaaaiting for the next episode o.O Feel free to ASK or reblog for tag – in fact: always reblog <3 Thanks to those who have already <3

4. Smoulder

Regret. Not full blown, but like a buzzing gnat near your ear as you’re standing in the sand occupying the space between the buildings of Fire Force Company Seven’s station. A handful feet across the enclosed space is the man causing the uncomfortable sensation. I should never have let Konro talking me into staying...let alone give that jerk a chance. Yet here you are, facing off with Benimaru, and you’ll be damned if you back down now.

“Don’t bother about holding back,” he shrugs cockily.

It might be less humiliating if I run now. Running won’t get you far, though, as long as the captain is intent on finding out more about you.

He hasn’t uncrossed his arms by the time the first hit lands. The impact of your palm across his cheek announces a shocked silence which you take part in even if your body is continuing on its own by strangling the sting from skin on skin in a fist.

The second strike never connects. Instead Benimaru hijacks your body by grabbing you arm, spinning you around, and next moment you’re on one knee in the sand while he holds you down by pushing between your shoulder blades and twisting the arm behind you. Now the sting in your palm feels like an insignificant itch compared to the ache of your joints.

“I’ll admit...I didn’t expect that.” At least he can’t see your smirk at knowing you pissed him off. “But you’re wrong if you think I’ll accept this and let you go. I don’t care if you’re second or third...I do mind a stranger interf-” the rest is cut off by bells ringing and a distant boom.

“Infernal!” someone yells from the other side of the wall.

The hand is warm under your hands, bracing you from landing face first as Benimaru releases you. Jerk.

“Stay.”

Woof woof.

“I’ll stay with her, Beni,” Konro offer from the door where he has appeared, “I’m not use out there anyways.”

If you hadn’t been so annoyed at everything then you might have been able to decipher the silent looks between the men, but as it is, your brain is identifying the new options that are becoming available – all of them looking promising as long as the jerk is out of the picture.

Trying to appear calm, you make your way back inside and follow the sound of people rushing to get their equipment. A few times, you have to flatten yourself against the wall to allow them to rush out to the waiting vehicle, but once the siren fades there’s no one to stop you from grabbing a worn pair of boots from underneath a random locker. The size of boats, they will look a bit odd on you (even under the baggy pants) but it doesn’t matter because everyone will be preoccupied and not pay attention to a single person.

“You won’t be able to run with those on,” Konro points out.

“The best way to run is by walking.”

The man moves out of your way, merely trailing you towards the exit. “[Y/N]...about your skill...”

Biting back a groan and a lot of cussing, you manage to keep the nerves pent up inside. “What about it?”

“You don’t have any, do you?”

Shit. “Don’t be ridiculous.”

A big hand lands on your shoulder, not heavily as if to assert force or dominance and just lightly enough to feel the trembling of your body. “If Haijima were to find out they’ll take you in and try to activate it.”

“They don’t know about me and if someone were to tip them off...” All the pent up frustration and fear morphs into anger as you whirl around and try to stare him down.

“No one threatens my people.”

Another string of curses bounce through your skull at the sound of the flat voice coming from the entry behind you. Why’s he already back? Konro might be big and strong but he also seems gentle enough that you had counted on walking out of here. Benimaru, however? Not so much. Despite apparently being bored with everything in the world, every action so far has let you to believe he’s unwilling to let go once he’s gotten hold of something. Or someone.

How much did he hear? “Why I’d never want to cause any trouble sooo I better go.” Somehow you need to get past Benimaru who’s leaning against the doorpost. “Thank you for the hospitality, Konro,” you add over your shoulder.

“[Y/N] -”

“They will find you,” the captain warns, “rumours are already circulating about the girl who tamed the Infernal.”

“I didn’t.”

“They won’t care...and neither will the Holy Sol.” His arms are crossed, somehow making his athletic shape look more like a wall than the actual wall does. “I don’t like either of them.”

Wait what? “You’re Special Fire Force.”

“Yeah, well, we do things the old way here as you might have noticed. Where should I tell them you’ve gone if they come asking.”

He’s helping me? What world is this? “Tell them I went to the Nether...plenty of places to hide there.” It’s the first time you see him arch a brow but there’s no time to admire the effect you have on him. Instead, you step into the boots. “They won’t find me.”

“You better hope not.”

One last glare at the odd eyes and then he lets you pass.

...   Benimaru   ...

Watching the girl hurry down the street in the oversized outfit, everything tells him she’s got a big target painted onto her and not even the most street savvy person can outrun Haijima or the Temple.

“Are you -” his old friend begins.

“No.” What a drag. “She’s a pain in the ass but I hate them more.”

Already, she’s rounding the corner and getting swallowed into the ruckus of Asakusa – celebratory noises that ought to drown the satisfied sigh coming from behind him. There’s no reason to give any orders or promises before Benimaru slips out to trail the girl because the older man knows exactly how to run Company Seven. It was his once.

[stevetonygames]

Spotlight Post: Canon Soulmate Bonds

Yooo, this is a blog takeover, Mizzy here, ready to champion one of my favourite fictional causes: canonical soulbonds in the Marvel universe.

We all love a good soulbond fic. Words on your body, names on your wrist, red string of fate...so many glorious versions, and all of them *completely awesome*. The problem sometimes with starting a soulbond fic, though, can be all the worldbuilding required to make it work. But what if I was to tell you that no worldbuilding was necessary? That you could technically write a soulbond fic without having to set it in an Alternate Universe? What if you could set your soulbond fic *directly in main canon?*

Marvel 616 delivers you a canonical soulbond mechanic… not once… but at least *twice*. There could be more. There’s a lot of comics to go through and I’m only smol. But here’s the two I know about and I’m here to introduce you to today. :)

The was a ripple of mild confusion around fandom when Kevin Feige announced that the Eternals were getting a title movie in the next phase of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Created by Jack Kirby in the 1970s, in a wild combination of mythological fascination and spite at DC comics for not letting him finish his New Gods saga, the Eternals were an offshoot of humanity, created by the Celestials for humanity’s protection; this reason for their existence would lead them into their ongoing conflict against the deadly Deviants. There have been a few Eternals runs (notably one run by Neil Gaiman, which did not serve to bring the Eternals the commercial success Marvel was searching for with the title, that nevertheless remains the most fun and accessible Eternals volume), but they’ve not yet really reached wide-reaching traction among even the most die-hard comic fans. The MCU might change that, and here’s hoping, because I love these nearly-immortal idiots, and I’m hoping not to be alone in that for much longer. :D

But even my Eternals-happy soul has to admit, Eternals canon for the most part is dense and can be convoluted, and the spellings—both of their character names and one of the main fun parts of their existence, the Mahd W’yry—are enough to give one a headache. The idea of the Eternals is that they’re long-lived and have interacted with human history over the years in various impactful ways. You might think at first glance that you’ve never heard of the Eternals Sersi, Ikaris, Makkari, but I think you wouldn’t find Circe, Icarus, or Mercury unfamiliar names.

The Mahd W’yry is a symptom of the Eternals being so long-living. In order to stop them going insane, the Eternals have to bond into something known as the Uni-Mind, which basically squishes all their consciousnesses together into one, where they can share memories and blend temporarily into one mind. Regularly bonding into the Uni-Mind allows them to stave off the Mahd W’yry. (Yep, that’s just a headache-inducing spelling of ‘mad worry’, we know.)

Anyway, did you need to know all this? Eh, maybe, a little bit of canned backstory is always handy for you to briefly glance over and promptly forget. Because along with some dense mythological adventures, some glorious angsting across beautiful landscapes, and that ability to turn into a big massive floating brain, the Eternals also gave us a beautiful gift:

The Gann Josin.

In Avengers #361, Ikaris comes down to Earth and decides that Sersi needs to be bonded to Dane Whitman, an Avenger who canonically didn’t have any powers, he was just a *really good guy*, destined for tragedy. Honestly. That’s his bio. Really good guy. Destined for tragedy. The character creation in the 90s was peak talent. Dane, sadly, was in love with another woman, but did this matter to Ikaris? No. Apparently the Eternals don’t know about the dangers of letting himbos like Ikaris have life-changing powers, like the ability to create the Uni-Mind. 

Because the power to control the Uni-Mind also gives an Eternal the power to form a Gann Josin bond. And that’s what Ikaris does in Avengers #361—he forces a Gann Josin bond on Eternal Sersi and tragic human Avenger Dane Whitman.

Gann Josin (sometimes Gan-Josin because what is spelling continuity in Marvel comics) is both the name of the bond, and the title given to an Eternal and their chosen life-mate. It has a bunch of cool side effects. Both Gann Josins get glowing full-red eyes. It’s a really intimate tiny form of the Uni-Mind (without the part where you become a big floating brain), and creates a small scale mental union. The Gann Josin bond makes the Eternal and their partner lifelong soulmates. As the bond progresses, it creates a telepathic/empathic bond that strengthens in time. According to the Eternal Sprite, humans are rarely chosen by Eternals for the Gann Josin.

Now, Dane Whitman does manage to break the Gann Josin several issues later. But… it’s not easy. It’s rare. When Dane manages it, it is called an “astounding act.” It’s pretty dang hard, in other words. There’s every chance your chosen Gann Josins won’t have the mental fortitude of Dane Whitman to break it. (Although, we’re talking about Steve and Tony, and are there any bigger stubborn idiots in the universe? Probably not.)

But Mizzy, I hear you saying. I don’t want to write about Ikaris, even if he is a party king and that sounds pretty nifty. I don’t know anything about the Eternals and I don’t want to go down that gnarly rabbit hole.

That’s totes fine, my friend. I am here to save you. Because in very recent canon, during Jason Aaron’s turn at the helm, the Eternals are all dead. Very dead. That whole Mahd W’yry thing got ‘em, it got ‘em good. But before Ikaris died, he granted his Uni-Mind power to someone we all know and love.

Yep. Tony Stark. Tony Stark currently has the power of the Uni-Mind.

Which means that Tony Stark can now Gann Josin people.

In Avengers #361, Ikaris performs the Gann Josin by basically just pointing his hands at Sersi and Dane and some light goes WHEEEEEEE!! in their direction, and bam, this rare and special bond is done. And Tony Stark can do that now. To anyone! Unfortunately Ikaris is dead and didn’t leave Tony with an instruction manual. But the point is, he *can*. You can make up all sorts of fun things with this canonical fact (or write your own version because lbr Canon Is Dead; Long Live Canon.)

There are so many possibilities. Does Tony deliberately learn how to use it so he can bond himself to Steve? Does Tony *need* to be able to hear Steve’s thoughts (to thwart some bad guys) and thus end up soulbonded forever to Steve in result? Is Tony’s power activating at random because he can’t control it, and he ends up soulbonding everyone around him? Does he just subconsciously bond himself to Steve without consciously meaning to? Do Tony or Steve want to try it for science?

Gosh, I love comics.

But WAIT. There’s MORE.

It’s not just 1990s comics going ham on the soulbond idea. No, we got some *this year*. Canonical soulbonding? TWICE? In one universe? Two different kinds??

And this time, it’s not in a D-list Marvel title. We’re up the ranks to the big leagues this time, folx, with a brief trek to the world of the Fantastic Four.

In Fantastic Four (Vol. 6) #15, we’re introduced to a Spyre citizen called Sky, a winged team member of the Unparalleled (more cosmic-powered superheroes), who work under The Overseer. (The Overseer, in a burst of beautiful retcon in the way Marvel comics keeps doing to us, is apparently the entity who is responsible for giving the F4 their powers. Huh. The more you know.)

On the planet Spyre, all children are brought before something called The Great Eye. This measures them against the radiation signature of everyone on the planet, divining who their perfect match is. 

Sky looked into The Great Eye, only to find out her match was Johnny Storm, who was 44 light-years away at the time. Long-distance relationships can be tough. Anyway, plot happens, the F4 get stuck on Spyre, get told they can’t leave, and Sky tells Johnny Storm that she is his soulmate. Oh, and she attached a soul binding onto him while he slept. Neat, huh, all the bodily autonomy people get in this universe before being force soulbond to people? So neat, much consent, wow.

Johnny feels a connection to Sky, which is supposed to let us know this lack of choice is a good thing I guess. The Overseer wants Sky to renounce Johnny and crush the F4 which obv doesn’t happen, so of course she leaves The Unparalleled and skips off to Earth to be with Johnny. 

Who knows how this relationship is gonna last. I mean, you can look at the rest of Johnny’s relationship history and have a good guess. Who knows. Anyway, Reed and Sue are each other's soulmate, and also share a “Soul Binding”, so there’s some canonical proof right there that maybe this system has some validity going for it.

The soulbond for this form takes the form of a golden bracelet worn on the upper arm, that Sky explains her people call a “Soul Binding”; it represents them as being soul-mates. This bracelet can only be removed by your soulmate. This soulbond doesn’t seem to come with any extra powers, it’s just to show that The Great Eye has measured their radiation signature and declared them a match that is supposed to mean they’re perfectly compatible in every way: spiritually, mentally, and physically.

I don’t know about you, but I have a pretty good feeling that Steve and Tony might just have matching radiation signatures… Or what if Steve and Tony have perfect matching signatures….with other people? (Someone else on Spyre believes Sky is *their* perfect match, after all!) What if Steve has feelings for Iron Man, but he’s a perfect match with Tony Stark? I feel faint already just thinking about it.

So here you go. Two canonical types of soulbonds for your fannish consideration. Feel free to ask me questions! You can find me on tumblr (@mizzy2k) or on discord (addy#0908).

[potatotrash0]

Your DR magic AU, hand it over 🤲

Okay I have two other anons and I’m just gonna split the character ideas among the three asks. I don’t quite have a plot thought out, and most of these characters’ concepts have only existed in my head up until now...bare with me skdjksjfkd

Mm I talked about them briefly in Prom’s ask? But here’s a more in-depth thing of the THH fighting styles.

Makoto is a mage-type. (I used fighter, support, and mage to describe the various adventurer types it’s temporary just roll with it) Again, he can’t really hold magic for very long? He’s got a large mana reserve but it’s hard to activate and harder to control, so he’s currently working on mastering the little bullets. In the future, I imagine large barrages of bullets would sort of circle around him like they would in the barrel of a gun.

He probably got in accidentally? I’m not entirely sure about this, but I think there’s an entrance exam for Reserve Courses and he was probably forced in on Komaru’s behalf for some reason.

He was basically running the entire time until the very end when he panicked and suddenly the entire field was wiped clean from him waving his arm. HPA saw that, decided that he was worth training, and put him into the Main Course. He doesn’t feel very good about getting in that way, but HPA isn’t exactly empathetic like he is. Again this is like one of three ways I think he could’ve gotten in with the rest of the cast because I’m indecisive skdjsjf

Kyoko is another mage-type, in general the Main Gangs of each game have various themes. THH’s trio has a magic theme, they all use magic. She doesn’t use a weapon, though I’m thinking her gloves act as a limiter of sorts?

As a general rule, more mana means less control, and being half-demon gives her a lot of it. Her gloves help her regulate her mana output so that she doesn’t use too much of it when attacking and tire herself out. Later in the timeline, I imagine there might be a scene where she takes them off and fights off some enemies to buy the rest of the class time to escape something? She would get trapped in the process, but I think this would happen after she’s worked with Makoto for a while and she would trust him enough to believe he would come back for her if she didn’t return.

Oh this isn’t related to her fighting style but on the topic of her being half-demon, that’s mainly because I thought it was boring for everyone to be human and I’m a big sucker for fantasy species so yeah. She’s a cambion.

She has purple-tinted skin, horns that curl up and are fairly close to her head, a thin pointed tail, pointed ears, her pupils are slitted, she’s got carnivore-style teeth, her nails are longer and sharper by default. Whenever she uses the full extent of her magic, her scleras turn dark purple and her irises turn white. Oh yeah her scars came from an accident she had when she was young where her magic got out of control and burned her hands. Her mom’s the demon by the way, for no particular reason, I just thought that the Kirigiris would stay human in this and I don’t know anything about her mom’s side of the family.

I just realized I never said Makoto’s race skdjks he’s human!! He and Komaru just happen to be a special case and have a lot of mana. Most other humans in this AU aren’t so lucky. (cough hinata cough cough)

Byakuya, again, uses magic. He’s the only one who uses a weapon in the Trio, he uses a staff specially made by the Togami family. He also knows how to use a sword and a bow.

I haven’t put too much thought into him, but I know for a fact that his adventuring outfit would have a big sweeping cape later in the timeline. In the beginning though, he just has a stupid expensive suit. The cape comes in later as he, Kyoko, and Makoto start to group up more and more.

I’ve decided that adventurers in this AU group up just as often as they go solo, and while Byakuya would initially be solo, he would deem Makoto and Kyoko strong enough to work with whenever they’re taking on a difficult job.

Groups would change to have matching designs the longer they’re partnered up, and capes/cloaks happen to be the THH Trio’s Thing, as in all three of them would have a cape/cloak of some sort. Byakuya because he’s pretentious, Makoto because he thinks it looks cool, and Kyoko because she uses the cloak for practical reasons like storing things and keeping a low profile when needed. Oh and Byakuya’s bloodline is of royal elven descent, their business is selling spellbooks, runestones, potions, reagents, any magical item you could think of.

Sayaka is a half-siren mage! She mostly uses charm and illusionary magic, as well as healing so that she can support her allies. Later on, she might learn water magic so she can actually deal damage as well. I haven’t decided on her weapon of choice, perhaps she uses a lyre or casts spells from a book. I’m also debating having her learn hand-to-hand combat instead of water magic?

I just like the idea of someone coming up and trying to challenge her, thinking they’ll beat her easily, and barely getting a hit in before she kicks their legs out from under them and tosses them over her shoulder like they weigh nothing. She deserves to take out people twice her size and be menacing, as a treat for the amount of disrespect she gets in the fandom. And I want her to take Leon down a peg because he definitely acts a little like a cocky frat boy sometimes.

Speaking of Leon, we’ve got our first fighter-type!!! I could have him use a baseball bat but that’s boring so I’m thinking he might utilize items as well as a weapon? Bombs or grenades that look like a baseball and explode on impact, baseballs that ignite when thrown and act as fire balls. Alas, I don’t think about him much so this is all just me throwing ideas to see what sticks.

Whatever the case, the main thing I know would happen is that he frequently gets help from Kazuichi and Miu because he just cannot for the life of him stop breaking his equipment. He’s reckless and rushes into battle and now that he doesn’t have Kanon to stop him from setting stuff on fire all the time, he gets detention a lot. (And no she isn’t into him like in canon, I refuse to acknowledge that she ever was.)

Chihiro......they can’t fight djfjsjfjjf. They specialize in making tech and weapons, and in the beginning, would mainly use robots that they programmed to support their allies. Though, they do end up training with Mondo, Sakura, and Aoi to help them become better at combat, and eventually they join everyone else on the front lines as a ranged fighter/support type.

Also, the robots would kinda follow them around like pets. Cute little guys that can also shoot lasers. The robots are powered by mana crystals and each one has a different personality and magic type! Sometimes they follow around different people, the electric one took a liking to Mondo and you’ll see it floating around while he works out. They’re buds.

On the topic of Mondo, he’s another fighter-type! He’s more hand-to-hand combat. A controlled berserker, if you will. Probably started out fighting guys in his hometown and progressed to clearing out monsters when Daiya got concerned about his temper? Perhaps. Maybe. I do not think about Daiya I apologize.

Oh wait hold on. I’m looking at his character art and he’s got a hammer.........it’s decided he uses a warhammer, the biggest one they’ve got, and it’s probably a mana-based weapon. Specifically electric. He and that lil robot wipe the battlefield with their opponents >:D

Taka is probably a fighter-type? I can’t for the life of me find where I read this, but apparently he’s really good at self-defense so I imagine he does hand-to-hand combat as well as sword-fighting for the Noble Paladin Aesthetic.

Hifumi was originally a mage-type, but upon second thought, I’m making him a support-type who uses items and potions and stuff! I like the idea of him making fun little bottles and potions themed after his favorite animes and mangas..........he also definitely helped everyone design their adventurer outfits. He’s the only reason that Makoto’s outfit isn’t boring as hell.

Celeste is, of course, a mage-type. She’s Miss Lolita of course I have to make her an ethereal magic user alright also I love her and I love mages let me have this skfjdkjf. As for her weapon, my first thought was her having playing cards that she throws HxH style?

Or she could summon goons to fight for her, playing into the whole loyal servant dream she has. They would be vaguely themed after the cards, so there would be a jack, king, queen, and joker, all of different magic types depending on the suit of the card she throws. Electric for a spade, fire for a heart, ice for a diamond, something along those lines.

I’m also considering having her little...finger armor thing? I’m thinking of having that cross into her magic, where she attacks with claw-like things formed out of mana. Of course she could also just. Use the cards to cast spells directly skdjksjfkhf

Sakura is definitely a fighter-type. Again, hand-to-hand style, but I imagine she’s more controlled and strategic than Mondo. I can’t see her using a weapon, so I guess she’s like one of the only characters to fight exclusively with fists.

Mukuro’s a ranged fighter-type, but she can also do melee. She uses magic-based guns, ones that shoot mana infused bullets. They have a variety of effects depending on the type of bullet and magic. (I’m not a gun person so take this with a grain of salt.)

Bullets that break apart might be laced with electric magic so that they can shock a target from several points, or fire magic if she’s aiming to start a fire quickly. Exploding bullets are usually used with fire magic, but she might switch to ice if she wants to create a barrage of ice shards for...some reason, I don’t know. There’s more combinations I could probably make, but I’m. Not here to spend an hour researching guns. Not right now at least, who knows what I’ll want info on in the future.

Mmmmmm I’m starting to lose patience here so forgive me for the shorter explanations. I might throw in a fun fact about them for ✨ flavor ✨

Junko’s a fighter/mage-type! She uses a scythe and laces the blade with magic. She could combine it with fire magic to create a flaming scythe and go nuts with it, or she could just channel general mana and slam the blade into the ground to create a big crack in the ground.

There’s about an 80% chance she gets several weapons later in the timeline. Her scythe, a spear, possibly a gun. Monokuma probably exists, I like to think Junko ran into a smarter monster and tamed it and kept it as a slightly feral pet.

Also, yes, she’s still a big adrenaline junkie who gets off on despair. If you see her fighting things she knows are out of her league, mind your business.....actually, call someone to help before she gets herself killed. Please.

I haven’t decided what Aoi will be just yet? I’m veering towards fighter/mage-type, she could use water magic and maybe a leg-based fighting style. Possibly judo or taekwondo. I.....do not have any ideas for her. However I do know that she and Sakura would have a bunch of combo moves together dkfjkejfkdjjd

Toko is a mage-type! She probably uses a book to cast spells from. Or just uses her hands. She would fight ranged, I don’t think she’d want to be up in the action. Too much stress for her, y’know? I

As for Syo, she fight differently than Toko! She technically uses dual swords, but the swords can also connect to create a giant pair of scissors. Again, this is just sort of a fun character thing, but she gets to hate Byakuya in this AU. They have arguments and get on each other’s nerves a lot, but I think the rest of the class usually separates them before anything serious happens.

At some point after Toko befriends Komaru, I like to think that Syo gets a proper fight scene with Byakuya where she rips into him. I don’t think Toko would want to hurt anyone though, even him, so Syo would probably leave him with a few minor cuts at most.

Afterwards, I think Byakuya would quiet down with the insults with Naegi and Kyoko’s requests. (Well. Naegi asked him to try and be nicer because he was worried that they might fight again. Kyoko just bluntly told him that he needed to stop being a jerk and start considering everyone else’s feelings.)

Skfksjfkdh ah. I also like to think Komaru and Toko were initially partnered up by HPA for a job. They were assigned to deal with a couple of school kids wreaking havoc on a nearby city with some monsters they semi-tamed?

But after finishing the job, they decided to partner up permanently on their own. They probably have a few combo moves that Komaru came up with, Toko tweaked them to make them actually possible with their skill set and weapons.

Hiro is...possibly a mage/support-type? He’s probably a bit cowardly and freaks out when on the front lines, but he can use a crystal ball to attack from afar. I’m also considering giving him tarot cards so that he can toss them and attack from several points at once?

Or the ball could shatter at some point during the story and he could just roll with it and spread the shards out during battle to attack from several points at once. They could also be used to create a magic cage of sorts, like electric fence but only electricity.

Okay that’s everybody oh my god. I have plenty more stuff about this au, this isn’t even half of it trust me lmao. I’m sorry about this being so long I didn’t realize it’d be this wordy!!!!!

[the-odd-job]

Ashes of Icarus chapter 19 - All the Things He Said

Warnings: Chose Not to Use Category: Other Fandom: Transformers Characters: Sunstreaker, Sideswipe, Optimus, Cliffjumper Relationships: Megatron/Sunstreaker, Sideswipe & Sunstreaker Additional Tags: Dubcon, Unplanned Pregnancy, Mechpreg, Sticky Words: 1937

( Previous )

Every day grew more tense as the sand in the hourglass slipped away. His time was running out. Sooner and sooner Ratchet would access the spec ops records, and then it would be all over him, wouldn’t it? Jazz, Optimus, Prowl, Ironhide, Red Alert would have questions that Ratchet would have to answer.

They would all find out, and then what?

Then what?

No doubt Red Alert would demand the greatest punishment, although Sunstreaker wasn’t at all sure what that might be. Was it possible they’d straight up execute him? He wouldn’t have put that past them.

Exiling him would’ve been well preferable to that. Incarcerate him?

What would they do to the sparkling? While it was still in his frame, and after it had separated?

Did he want to stay to find answers to those questions, or should he leave before they could make him face the consequences of his actions?

Where would he go? To Megatron? Or somewhere else?

Where else?

Where could he go? And would Megatron even let him go, after he had made it clear he wanted his hands on the sparkling? 

Or would he simply be hunted down and dragged to the Decepticons?

He was likely safe from that fate if he stayed with the Autobots, but was what the Autobots would do to him any better?

Megatron, at least, had stopped harassing him after their one mid-battle conversation. Apparently he’d gotten to discuss what he had wanted to discuss—probably mainly the reminder of what he had promised to do if Sunstreaker didn’t.

Tell the Autobots.

But so far, there had been no word from the tyrant.

It was quiet on all fronts, for now, but he could sense Ratchet’s mounting concern. Sunstreaker, personally, thought that Ratchet didn’t want to find out answers in a way that would break his precious medical confidentiality, but what was he doing except forcing the medic’s hand with his refusal to tell who the sire was?

With his refusal to admit it was Megatron?

-----------------------------------------------------------

“Sunstreaker, Sideswipe,” Optimus greeted them in the rec room. They were sitting in their corner table as usual, and if Sunstreaker’s presence didn’t just create a lovely bubble around them that no one dared to cross the threshold of. 

No one except the Prime.

Optimus spoke quietly enough that snooping ears couldn’t hear him, which was enough to make Sunstreaker tense from helm to pede. Now what?

He glared.

“Wazzup?” Sideswipe asked with an easy smile, leaning back in his seat.

“Could I speak with you two in private?” the Prime asked. Sideswipe cocked an optical ridge at him.

Sunstreaker growled. “If it’s not something we can talk about in public, then we’re not talking about it.”

Optimus gave him a look, but that was nothing new. Happened practically every time they talked, really. Sunstreaker didn’t lose his glare any more than Sideswipe lost his smile even as he sipped from his cube.

If Optimus wasn’t as kind and forgiving as he was… Well, Sunstreaker wasn’t sure he’d even be an Autobot at this point, after everything he’d done and all the disrespect he’d shown. 

And soon enough he might just use up all of Optimus’ goodwill, and then what? The million dollar question. He highly doubted even the Prime could forgive relations with Megatron.

“Very well,” Optimus said, surprisingly, and took a seat opposite from them. Even Sideswipe frowned at this point, setting his cube down.

“Seriously, Prime, what’s this about?” his brother asked, and wasn’t that what they were both curious over. 

“Ratchet has been very concerned over you,” Optimus rumbled, glancing between them. His voice was low and quiet, just enough to travel across the table to them, and no further.

Sunstreaker’s optics narrowed. “What’s he said?”

“Just that he’s worried. You know Ratchet would never speak of anything confidential.” Everyone knew that. As bad as Ratchet’s bedside manner was, as grouchy as he could be, one thing he was, was reliable. Optimus may have been his leader, and if Sunstreaker hazarded, his friend too, but that wouldn’t be enough for Ratchet to speak of things that were between him and his patients.

Beyond saying he was worried about them it looked like, anyway.

“Did he ask you to talk with us?” Sideswipe asked, a little disbelieving. Optimus for sure tried to be everyone’s buddy despite being the leader of the whole damn faction, but it couldn’t exactly be said he and the brothers had ever been too close. They had too many issues with authority figures, especially as maddeningly soft ones like Optimus, to really appreciate the Prime to any measure.

Not a great foundation for anything more than barely passable relations, as much as Optimus never held it against them. He still tried.

As he tried now too. “No, he didn’t ask me to. I wanted to ask you myself. Is everything alright?”

What the frag made him think they’d tell him even if something wasn’t? Sunstreaker frowned harder, and next to him, Sideswipe mirrored the expression.

“Yeeeaaahhh?” his brother almost asked, because you know, why wouldn’t everything be just dandy? “Everything’s fine? I’m not sure what Ratchet’s worried over.”

Sideswipe paused for a thoughtful effect before he continued. “Well, unless it’s about Sunny’s glitch. That’s been acting up.”

“I remember,” Optimus sighed, his optics resting on Sunstreaker. “But you have had quite a bit of luck keeping it under control since, have you not?”

“Thanks to Sides,” Sunstreaker grunted.

The Prime frowned at the suggestion behind those words. “What has caused it to act up like this?” Damn, wasn’t he just so concerned. For who, though? For Sunstreaker and his mental health on a downward spiral, or for the rest of the Autobots he’d become an instant threat to if he lost control of himself?

Probably a bit of both. Optimus was just so… Altruistic.

“Haven’t you noticed Megatron’s given me an uncomfortable amount of attention lately?” Sunstreaker asked, raising one of his optical ridges for good measure. “If that’s not stressful, I don’t know what is.”

Look, he wasn’t even lying.

“I have noticed,” Optimus said carefully, like the whole situation was a powder keg ready to explode.

With Sunstreaker on the scene, that may as well be true. “Do you know why he’s given you that amount of attention?” Optimus continued, looking at him with concern.

But that was probably fair enough when your worst enemy was gunning for one of your soldiers.

Sideswipe cracked his knuckles mentally. Time to fabricate some falsehoods.

“You remember that one time Megatron and Soundwave ran into me and Sides?” Sunstreaker asked, and continued after Optimus had nodded at him. “He said something about remembering me, that time. We have some… Unfinished business, that he didn’t manage to finish that time either.

“I think he’s trying to finish it now.”

Optimus frowned and considered his words for a moment—and the implications behind them. “What kind of ‘unfinished business’, if that isn’t too much prying?”

Aw, wasn’t he just so polite.

Sunstreaker stayed quiet just long enough to make it look like he was considering how much and how he would tell about this—for reasons that should become obvious when he finally spoke up. “There was a deathmatch,” he said, a bit cautiously. See, their past was a bit of a sore topic, wasn’t it? So violent and filled with death even before the war that most Autobots were just uncomfortable when it came up. 

They didn’t want to hear about everything they had been through. It was just too disturbing for their fragile little sensibilities. “It ended before either of us died, which is… Not supposed to happen. Ever.” He gave Optimus a meaningful look, the kind that said ‘you wouldn’t understand, but just take my word for it’.

Optimus nodded again, more slowly this time as he started to catch onto what Sunstreaker was getting to.

Sunstreaker said it out loud anyway, just so there was no confusion. “I think he’s trying to grudge kill me now, now that he remembers me.”

“Don’t worry, we’re not about to let that happen,” Sideswipe piped in with a fierce grin. The Prime frowned at him in disapproval, to which Sideswipe merely shrugged. So they were a little bloodthirsty, and too fearless for their own good. Sue them.

“Is there anything you would like me to do about that?” Optimus asked kindly.

Sunstreaker snorted. “Kill him, maybe? Would solve a lot of problems.”

The Prime had a pause before he sighed. “Yes, that is the goal, isn’t it?” he said quietly enough that Sunstreaker wasn’t sure if it was even aimed at them at all.

They said nothing. Optimus eventually cycled another ventilation, and nodded at them. “Thank you for your candor, twins.”

Candor. Right. 

Sunstreaker nodded back, as did Sideswipe. 

Optimus took his leave, and alone they were again—but not for long, because someone whose intelligence was as lacking as their height decided to come their way after the Prime had left the room.

‘Cause you know, Optimus wouldn’t have particularly approved of Cliffjumper antagonizing them, but that was all Cliffjumper knew how to do. 

What did they ever do to him? Were activated in the wrong city? Had the wrong frame type? A past he didn’t approve of? A little too shaky loyalties?

“Everyone’s starting to notice something’s up,” Cliffjumper said as he came closer, stopping outside of grabbing distance and placing his hands on his hips.

“And what is up, exactly?” Sunstreaker asked, narrowing his optics at the minibot.

Cliffjumper leaned towards them. “You and Megatron are what’s up. You’ve been eyeing each other for months. So what’s going on there, huh?“

Was it just Cliffjumper looking for any excuses to blame them for unbecoming behavior?

Or had their comrades actually noticed the change?

Sunstreaker snorted. “He wants to kill me is what’s going on there?”

Sideswipe laughed. “You’re reaching even harder than usual, CJ!”

The minibot wasn’t discouraged. “Am I really? What’s with him not trying to fragging ‘kill you’ this hard before, tell me that.”

Easy. “Because he didn’t remember me before,” Sunstreaker said with a good, big roll of his optics. “Now he does and wants to finish what he started way back when.”

“That’s what we figure, anyway,” Sideswipe shrugged, “Not a hell of a lot of other potential explanations.”

Cliffjumper growled at them, but he had no solid proof, did he? So he’d noticed their looks, the lowkey drama between them—noticed something was going on.

But he had no way to prove it was anything more than what the twins suggested it was. He didn’t know about the sparklet steadily growing next to his spark.

But he would soon. Everyone would know soon, once its signature strengthened enough to become noticeable on top of that of its carrier. 

And then… He could only imagine what Cliffjumper would accuse him of then. 

He might even hit home.

“Say what you say,” Cliffjumper huffed at them, his arms coming up to cross across his slagging mini chassis. “You won’t be able to hide the fragging truth forever. Did you jump on that spike already? ‘Cause I think you did.”

This time Sunstreaker laughed and Sideswipe snorted. “Riiiight, he fragged Megatron,” Sideswipe said in full mockery. “And lived to tell the tale?

“Frag off, Cliff, seriously.”

“Why don’t you do what your name suggests and go jump off a real high cliff?” Sunstreaker smirked, hiding his expression behind his cube.

Cliffjumper growled at them again, but turned to leave. “We’ll see who laughs last, fraggers.”

Yeah—and it probably wouldn’t be him and his brother.

( Next )

[thekytchensynk]

Save the Earth (Fictober Prompt 17)

Prompt number: 17

Fanfiction Fandom: Ducktales

Rating: G

Warnings: No Warnings

Read this story on AO3

Fenton thought Huey was many things. The kid was smart, smart enough that the sciency side of Fenton’s brain could already see a bright future out there for him. He didn’t always have the world smarts to match the book smarts, but hey, who was Fenton to judge that? Wasn’t he the same? The kid was thoughtful too, seeing quick answers to immediate problems. He could get overwhelmed, he could get tunnel vision, but he was a kid. He had a lot of time to grow out of those things.

But moments like now, Fenton wished he’d grow out of some of them just a little bit faster.

“But if you just redirect the old cooling vents through the pie filling receptacle, you’d get the same thing as your pies, except an area of effect!” Huey said, moving around Gizmoduck with impressive speed as he examined the locations of the vents.

Fenton wretched him run around, torn between a cringe at the thought of what Dr. Gearloose would do to him if he started digging into the suit’s guts -- much less letting a kid do it -- and a genuine amusement at just how excited the kid got about mechanical mundanities.

And he supposed he could see where a multi-target pie filling attack could come in handy. Though the speed at which the suit put pies together made it basically a moot point in most instances. However…

“I thought we were here to work on your Crime Prevention badge,” Fenton said, trying to steer the conversation back toward their actual purpose.

“Yeah, sorry. I just can’t help myself.” Huey didn’t sound very sorry, and again, Fenton found it hard to be bothered by that. When Huey had asked to join him on a patrol so he could document potential safety improvements to this area of the city as part of his badge progress, Fenton had been happy to agree. Truth was, he didn’t just owe a lot to Huey’s uncle, he owed a lot to Huey himself. If he hadn’t been quick to act…

Well, things could have gone a lot worse.

The pair of them began walking through the area. This side of Duckburg was in the middle of a renaissance of sorts, which was partly why Huey had chosen this area for his project. It had been an industrial and warehouse section, but as the companies had moved production to cities without eccentric billionaires whose meddling in the arcane routinely caused massive property damage, it left large swaths of cavernous, abandoned property. Recently, the city had made moves to reach out to the owners with grants, and to condemn properties whose owners could not be found, so they could tear down buildings which were becoming dangerously dilapidated. Several development companies had moved in, and the skeletons of new construction were all over the place -- a business park, a lot of retail, a transit hub. There were plans for a small park and a slightly larger amusement park.

As he’d explained when asking Fenton to accompany him, this area attracted Huey’s attention because it had fallen into a sort of valley, where there were so few people here that the police didn’t spend much time here, but the buildings were often half finished, making them easy targets for criminals looking for a place to hide or plot.

And Fenton thought the kid had probably asked for his help in part because as a hero, he’d be security-minded as well, and partly because that whole family was always on the go, always bosy. Wasn’t that why Mr. McDuck had given the OK to Gizmoduck in the first place?

But honestly, Fenton was glad he had, and here was a reason he was here in his suit and not just as plain old Fenton Crackshell Cabrera. Because Huey was right. Criminals had been using this area for a variety of activities. He’d had to step in on a few of them. And some of them were petty shoplifters checking out their haul of clothes or electronics, but some … some were a bit more serious.

It should be fine during the day, but just in case … well, just in case.

They made their way up a broad central street with the skeletons of buildings under construction on either side. Up ahead, the road came to a T-shape intersection at the park. Some of the trees remained from before, fully-grown arboreal specimens, but many of the trees were just saplings, hend straight by stakes and loose wiring. The grass had mostly grown in, but he could still see the straw peeking through where the more recent seed had been sown.

“This is going to be a very nice area when it’s done,” Fenton observed. He could see the business campus up on the other side of the park, its taller, tan buildings looking over the mostly adolescent trees.

“I agree. Which is why I don’t understand why they don’t have a comprehensive plan for maintaining the security of these sites,” Huey said. He had the tip of his pencil in his mouth as he observed the locks on the chain-link fences around the construction sites. “I understand the logistics have to be tough, coordinating so many companies, but really! It’s in all their best interests.” He shook his head and made some notes in his notebook.

The park looked to be in good condition. They walked down smooth cobblestone walkways, noting all the benches and garbage cans. (“Garbage cans aren’t just there to keep the litter down,” Huey told him, tone confident, like he was giving a school presentation on material he already knew by heart. “A cleaner park encourages people to visit, and the traffic can help keep people from using the place for more nefarious purposes.”)

The next stop was the business park -- a nearly completed campus of buildings that all shared the same general features, but in different dimensions. The closest one was a seven-story buildings with an all-glass front facing the street. Another stood only three stories but had a much larger footprint, in an L shape, with a grassy area nestled in the crook. A few benches and a little stone garden made the area inviting, and a couple picnic tables might tempt future employees out there for a lunch in the sunshine.

The exteriors looked good, but Fenton knew the insides were basically half done -- drywall and flooring was still going in, some of the windows still filled with boards and sheeting instead of glass, things like that. The low L-shaped building seemed to be a particular favorite of ne’er-do-wells who used this area as a hideout.

“They did a really nice job around here,” Huey said, with sincere appreciation. “But I think they definitely need a couple more cameras. Look, what good is that going to do?”

He pointed at a camera, mounted under the roof overhang of the L-shaped building. Instead of watching either of the two doors it could see from there or the courtyard and the road beyond, it aimed high and far to the right. What could it see there but the wall?

“Give me a second to check that out, Fenton said, speeding over to underneath the camera, then extending the suit up until he was face to … er, well, face? With it. It looked even stranger from up here. There was a bend in the metal holding it to the building. Eyes narrowing, Fenton reached toward the rubberized coverage protecting all the wiring. It looked like someone had sliced it, and when he pulled it back…

Yup. Cut wires. I guess this helps explain how they keep getting in there.

As he returned to the ground, Huey arrived and asked, “What’s wrong?”

“Looks like vandalism. We should inform the police and the security company.”

“I-”

“Eat gum, polluting scum!”

Fenton started to turn, saw an indistinct blob of … something coming at him and acted on instinct. He put himself between the projectile and Huey in the split second before it hit. Hoping this wasn’t some sort of explosive or-

The stuff hit not with a slam, but with a weird sort of gooshy sound. At the same instant, his movement slammed to a halt, rattling Fenton a bit in the suit. A moment later and the readouts were screaming at him: air intake blocked -- missile hatches sealed -- sensors malfunctioning -- Movement systems locked. Even the visor had been blacked out by the attack. He tried to raise the arms, to try to scrape it clear, but his arms only moved a little bit before seemingly being yanked back to the position he’d been in when he was initially hit.

Fenton wasn’t panicking, not yet, but he was worrying. Can’t move, can’t see, can’t use most of the suit’s functions. What do I do? I need to see. And the suit is useless. Maybe once I see the problem…

“Blathering Blatherskite.”

Usually, the keyword would release the whole suit. This time, the suit tried to do as usual, but whatever held it wasn’t letting go even for this. The pieces just kind of came off and remained around him in a jumble. Fenton shoved his way free of the pieces, doing his best to avoid the sticky, rubbery substance that had immobilized the suit. It didn’t quite work though -- he was lucky enough to only come away with some missing feathers on his arm and the side of his neck where the stuff touched him and he’d had to rip himself free. Huey helped him once he got partway out, and together they moved away from the suit -- which now looked like nothing more than a jumble of metal pieces wrapped in pink. He looked toward the third-story window where the shot had come from. Who could have-

“Hey boss! It’s just a regular guy,” A voice with a heavy drawl drifted downfrom above. From one of the windows. “It’s not a robot, just a suit.”

“Huey, we need to get out of here,” Fenton said, trying to keep an eye on every window at once.

But before they could run, someone leaned out of one of the windows again. This time, Fenton got a good look at the weapon. It sort of had the look of a rocket launcher, but it definitely hadn’t shot a rocket. It actually looked like chewing gum. The area had almost no cover. And that weapon likely had some range.

“Change of plans,” Fenton said, and apparently Huey was already on the same wavelength because he’d already started running toward one of the windows that had plywood in place of glass. The guy upstairs leaned out, trying to keep them in sight, but theplywood was on the inside. And the two ducks hopped into the recess just as he fired the gun again. A mound of the pink goo plopped down where they’d just been.

Up above, they could hear the voices echoing. “I think I missed em.”

“Them? I thought you said it was that one robot guy.”

“Well, the other one was a kid. What, I’m going to be worried about a kid?”

“That kid probably has a phone on him! They both do, numbskull! Just arm the bomb and let’s get out of here.”

Fenton and Huey exchanged a look. Bomb? What had they stumbled into?

Because of the unfinished walls, they could hear scuffling around upstairs, then the sound of footsteps pounding across the floor, receding away from them down the longer wing of the building. As they faded, Fenton’s mind was going a mile a minute.

“We need to get out of here,” he said, more to himself than Huey. “But there could be other people here. Even if they didn’t trap anyone else with that strange weapon, what if there are people working on the buildings? Even if not here, depending on how big the bomb is, it could take out others. If I … wait! Where are you going?”

Huey had pried up the corner of the board covering the window and slipped inside just as Fenton noticed.

“We have to find that thing and defuse it, right?” Huey called back through the board.

He knew the futility of shouting at the kid to come back, to run, to get out of here. He was already inside, and his family had a reckless streak a mile wide. Even Huey, for all his plans and lists, could succumb to it when there was a clear right and wrong in front of him. So cursing the string of choices that brought them here, Fenton kicked at the board until it moved enough for him to slip inside after the boy.

Finding the bomb turned out to be a pretty simple mystery to solve. They just followed a trail of food waste up a set of cement stairs to the third floor, down a hall and into a sizable space that, once finished, might eventually be a conference room. A few bugs milled around the banana peels and bread crusts that lay scattered around the large wooden box -- and the mass of wires and electronics inside.

Fenton peered inside. Not an explosive, not really. It looked like … chemicals. At least two vials. The sides of the glass containers were frosted, preventing him from even guessing what was inside. The timer -- there was always a timer -- said they had a bit under 10 minutes to deal with this thing.

Fenton squeezed his eyes shut, trying to remember back to working on circuits. Mechanical stuff wasn’t really his forte. The vials were touching. Would the “bomb” mix them by opening a passage to one from the other, or just crack them both, releasing the chemicals into the environment where they could mix freely and…

“I think I can defuse this.”

Honestly, for a couple seconds upon seeing the messily made bomb, Fenton had forgotten Huey in the urgency of stopping it from going off. Explosions were bad. But chemicals … anything could happen. They could go a lot further than a blast radius. Linger for years. They could make this whole area uninhabitable. Go into cloud form and move over other parts of the city. And do who knew what. Quirky villains could come up with things that did more than just poison a person.

But Huey was here, and he was staring intently into the guts of the thing, as Fenton had a moment before.

“You think you can defuse … a bomb?”

“Well, it’s not something I’ve had a lot of practice at, but I may have gone a little … overboard … studying for the Junior Woodchucks’ robotics and circuitry badges. Plus, I may have studied up on it specifically, just in case.”

Fenton wasn’t even sure how to take that. Was this that hyper preparedness talking? Or was this a situation where he considered finding a bomb such a legitimate possibility that understanding how to handle one was just a natural course of study for some afternoon?

But then again, he realized, this kid had rewired the Gizmoduck armor, sight unseen, on the fly. He looked nervous. But he was also concentrating, using the pencil from before to carefully push back the wires here and there. He … honestly did look like he knew what he was doing, and Fenton would only be guessing. If he knew what the chemicals were in there, he might be able to come up with something to neutralize it at the moment of detonation. But he was flying blind.

“Ok,” he said. “You take care of that. But if you want me to help, or take over, just say the word. OK?”

“Sure. Give me a minute,” he said. Then, after a couple seconds, his fingers stilled as he added, “or an hour. I wouldn’t say no to that.”

“I don’t know if we can do anything about the time,” Fenton said, willing his voice to say calm. “So if you are anything less than sure about this, say so. Otherwise, I’m going to call the police. Let them know. They may have some advice.”

When Huey didn’t ask for help immediately, Fenton stepped away to let the kid concentrate and called the cops. They got the details from him, and said they’d call back the moment they got ahold of one of their bomb experts.

That done, he went back into the room and sat nearby. A show of support and trust. And to be there, just in case the kid needed him.

Twenty minutes later, police were sweeping all the buildings on the site, looking for any more bombs or other weaponry. A talkative young detective was supposed to be taking Fenton’s statement, but things weren’t exactly going like that.

“I mean, want to get angry at businesses that are polluting the river or something, sure, I get that.” the detective looked like he hadn’t slept properly in some time. He had his notepad and pen out, but was gesturing with them instead of using them for their intended purpose. “But they were mad because tearing down rotting old death traps was killing bugs. Bugs! They’re really escalating though. A bomb? Usually they just chain themselves to the front door of the company headquarters or something.”

“That sounds … inconvenient,” Fenton said, a bit at a loss as to why the guy was telling him about the suspects like this.

“It wasn’t that bad,” the guy said. “They kept only chaining themselves to one door and there were like … four. So it was a strange choice. Though I guess I’d prefer they keep doing stuff like that to repurposing used chewing gum as a weapon or trying to seed a building with poisonous mold spores.”

“Should you be telling me this?”

“Ah, probably not,” the detective said, but he didn’t look terribly bothered about it.

As he wandered off, Huey ran over. “The reporter wanted to ask me about how I defused the bomb,” He said. “Dewey is never going to believe this. Or else he’s never going to forgive me.” He seemed really gleeful about either option.

“Well, I’m just grateful,” Fenton said, putting a hand on Huey’s shoulder. “You really came through. If they have a hero badge, I’ll nominate you.”

“There isn’t,” Huey said matter of factly. Then, after a pause, he hesitantly asked, “but once you get the suit out of the gum -- and speaking of that, I’d recommend peanut butter for that -- can we finish the safety survey?”

And how could he say no?

[mittensmorgul]

Plastic fantastic

I've put off doing this long enough, and spent the intervening days reading everyone else's interpretations, so there's gonna be a lot in here, but also a lot that I've probably not focused on too heavily because other folks have already said the things better than I could've. So this is just a recap of the things I personally feel are most significant and thematically cool going forward. It's... a lot... :'D

15.04 was infused with an element of surreality. Which I ended up referring to throughout this post as “plastic.” Hence the title. But this got super long, so here have a cut. :’D

Right from the THEN segment, we're reminded of Cas. Rowena's sacrifice, Cas's own suffering at Chuck's hands, and how this has affected Sam and Dean-- Sam miserable for having done what they had to do (right?) in sacrificing Rowena, and Dean PISSED but feeling like this was the only way to free them from what he sees as Chuck being a "fanboy" of them. It shifts directly into BECKY, who was described previously as a "fangirl" and involved in a supremely unhealthy relationship with both Chuck AND Sam (even if it was completely one-sided and creepy with Sam). And then shifts to Chuck being told-off by Amara in 15.02, in essentially a recap of all the best insults and condemnations she could fling at him... because he deserved it honestly, I mean HE LOCKED HER AWAY FROM THE DAWN OF CREATION TO SUFFER ALONE WHILE HE DID HIS THING TO MAKE HIMSELF FEEL BIG.

Okay, sorry, I just really hate that guy and his hypocrisy sometimes (read: all the time).

Right. Where were we. At the beginning.

Gunfight in the bunker, with the Danger Lights activated. I've been waiting for this scene since we got BTS photos of Jensen all battered and ragged with the beard. This... isn't real. It's not SPN universe real anyway. Since the SPPT promo came out, I have been eager to see this episode just for this scene. I guessed it was a vision Sam was having/receiving because of the Equalizer Wound, the beginning of his glimpses into "Chuck's writing process." Is this an AU that Chuck actively created? Is it just the sort of thing Chuck daydreams about? Or in the style of Supernatural episodes past, is this some sort of window into the ending Chuck wants/intends to write for them, which obviously would be something they absolutely could not let stand?

Like Dean’s nightmare he awoke from in 10.09 where he saw himself slaughtering a room full of people at the beginning of the episode, which became reality by the end of the episode? Is Chuck’s horrific ending that Becky hated what we actually saw play out in Sam’s nightmare? The show has invited us to consider that as at least a possibility. Or, to at least assume Chuck’s horrifying ending was at least that awful.

There's so much in this scene that doesn't match up with what any of us might imagine Sam would even consider a nightmare of his own mind's creation, you know? And yet it's SAM who is plagued by these incongruous nightmares that don't even really connect up with things that are relevant to the things currently on his mind, you know? After recent events, one would think the things that would plague Sam's nightmares would be the loss of Jack, or his role in Rowena's apparent death and his guilt/depression over it, or even the fight against the ghostpocalypse and the people who lost their lives as a result of that. Instead, he's having "nightmares" about having gone full Boy King of Hell demon blood addict, which hasn't been a pressing personal fear of his for more than a decade. He's even talked specifically about how he's made his peace with that entire time in his life, such as his talk with Magda in 12.04. NOT coincidentally also written by Davy Perez.

That's because... this is NOT Sam's "nightmare." Why would Sam "dream" about Dean's regular gun having the power to spark out demons? Why would he "dream" about BENNY being a human (and alive!) ally of Dean's that Sam had sent his own army of demons to destroy? Why would Sam dream that his demonic-self would hunt down and kill his loved ones (Bobby! Jody! and nobody else mentioned! as if this was some weird time-travelling situation combined with Benny's human presence!), and then in the end hunt down and murder Dean in cold blood? This wasn't Sam-As-Lucifer (though I believe we will be seeing that particular nightmare in next week's episode), but SAM. HIMSELF. Turned into the demon he always feared he was "destined" to become before they learned how to tear up the story and make their own choices about their destiny.

The problem now is that they actually believe that Chuck has gone, and they're on their own now. Sam believes that this must be his own nightmare, and therefore he's just stuck with it, as his own mind and memories and fears come back to torment him. He's lost his power to fight against it, like Dean's lost his power to fight against his current experience. It's as if the only power Chuck retains over them is in the fact that they BELIEVE he's gone, you know? Magic's power is in the belief of the caster, Rowena has recently reminded us with her own life. And I think that's exactly what's leaving Sam and Dean so completely vulnerable to manipulation by Chuck, in ways they've never before been vulnerable to it. Because they've both staked their entire futures on the fact that they so firmly believe they're free of Chuck's story.

Sam is just... so confused by this nightmare, he can't even make sense of it at all. And the sleep deprivation isn't probably helping.

I think we've all covered the Meat Man conversation already, as well as all the Dean vs Food stuff, so I'll only add that commentary in here if I think of something I haven't already said on the subject.

Dean calls out Sam's assertion that he's fine, directly telling him "No, you're not," and expressing his understanding of what he's going through.

And here come the cheerleaders. And doesn't this (as I believe many of us have already said over the last two weeks) just smack of Sam's "fake case" Gadreel had him trapped researching inside his own mind in 9,10? Crowley had to convince Sam that what he was trapped inside wasn't real, that he was possessed by an angel who was forcing him to experience these things. And obviously the God Wound isn't direct possession, and I don't doubt that this is a real case, but how much of this case might have been "arranged" by Chuck, or how much of Sam's perception right now may be clouded or colored because of the effects of that Wound?

Not only that, but Dean is also a participant in this entire odd case, and he doesn't even HAVE a wound connecting him directly to Chuck, you know? But his judgment seems to be equally clouded by something, as well... I'm gonna call it Intense Denial. Dean is basing his entire life right now on the presumption that Chuck has stopped interfering in their lives, when I think the exact opposite is true. I think Chuck is now focused on them more directly and more intensely than he ever has been before, and their obliviousness to that fact is only strengthening his hold on them, and amplifying his power over them.

But back to the current point in the episode:

Sam interviews the vice principal of the school, and the girl who was killed was in the drama club, debate team, cheerleading, campus ministry, you name it. That's... an awful lot of potential friends, so Sam asks about BEST friends, and we're directed to Veronica "and the girls." Veronica is singled out, which makes her speech to the empty room later even more interesting...

This episode relies on a lot of the elements of the case they're investigating to seem rather... plastic. And Veronica stood out as one of these elements. She could've just been "one of the girls," but she was identified specifically here, and it's like that designation itself somehow altered reality just a little bit. Heck I think I'm gonna need to put this line of thought on hold until we get to the speech scene. Remind me to come back to this.. >.>

The Whitmans interrupt (oh those crazy parents from 1.08, at it in a completely different role), seemingly uncaring of the dead girl and demanding their son's future not be ruined by postponing the lacrosse game. (OH THE IRONY) Sam rightly calls them out on framing it as "the end of the world" if he doesn't get into his first choice college. These parents have already been established to be Those Kinds of Parents who will do anything for precious little Billy to get whatever he wants in the world. They'd probaly strangle kittens on live TV if it would guarantee their son's future, you know? We haven't even seen the full extent of what they were willing to do for their son, and they already feel like cartoonish villain types.

I need to take another aside here to talk about the boy’s name. BILLY. Which, considering how we left things in 14.20, we’ve all been wondering about what Billie is up to in the Empty, right? This boy that will, by the end of this episode, become a literal stand-in for Jack on a cosmic scale? Is called Billy. Just... consider that.

I can already hear Becky critiquing Chuck's Monster of the Week here... and in turn parts of the fandom cynically saying that this is the complaint on MotW episodes forever-- that they're boring or unimportant or skippable because the monsters are predictable and boring, and just... NO. YOU HAVE OFFICIALLY MISSED THE POINT.

I think the general assumption is that the case we watch Sam and Dean solve is being directly affected by Chuck's simple act of typing it out. In exactly the same way we believed Metatron influenced the events of s9 by the simple act of typing it out. Could he control the thoughts of the people he wrote about? Not exactly. Could he manipulate the situation via the power of the angel tablet-- the direct word of God-- to influence the scenario and events in improbable ways? Yes, I absolutely think he can. And I'll continue discussing this as we go along.

But we return to Dean leaning against the car eating pretzels. I've already written about his constant eating and drinking in this episode, but PRETZELS?! That's a new one for Dean. It's usually jerky, or chips, or candy, or... all sorts of other things. Where did he even get the pretzels from?

He'd apparently been at the morgue examining the body, and found a vampire tooth. So this case that seemed NOTHING like a vampire case based on how the body was found, suddenly there's irrefutable evidence that it's a vampire instead. Almost as if the facts of the case have shifted somehow, rather improbably and inexplicably. Just as inexplicably as Dean finding the beaver mascot riding a scooter "awesome."

The second girl to be abducted calls out Veronica as being "so fake" in her grief over Susie's death. And yet, improbably, after a long cheer practice, she's the only one alone in the school parking lot late at night. Where's the rest of the cheer team? The coach? Anyone? How was she there all alone? Yet she was, because the case needed her to be.

It's plastic.

Like the little square of crime scene tape left unattended in the woods. Weird, right? That after the scene was cleared and the original investigators left, it was still left there around an empty patch of dirt. And Sam and Dean... are just... standing there at the edge of the woods, boxed in by yellow crime scene tape and orange cones while they have their conversation about the fact the police have no idea what could've done this, and Sam laments the fact that it's THEIR job. THEY deal with the truth and carry the weight, while everyone else gets to go back to their blissfully unaware lives.

Dean busts out the flask while the two of them stand there in their own personal crime scene box, like their lives are the crime here. They ARE the victims of a cosmic crime. And the corpse of what their lives could've been, of what Sam had always thought he'd want of his own life, to live in a little town like this and just be NORMAL, is what they'll find on the autopsy here. And Sam is just beginning to realize he can't identify with those sorts of people at all.

And then we jump right from Sam lamenting the lost white picket fence to Becky's house-- where the front railing is white pickets, where she's built a real life for herself. Yet even something about it seems... off... just a little bit. That older kid seems way older than 7, which I assume would be the oldest any of her kids could be based on when we last saw her in canon, before she began to recover from her obsession and begin building a true happy life for herself. Heck maybe I'm talking myself into a problem that doesn't exist, and he's supposed to be just a really big 6-year-old, but okay. Or maybe he's adopted, or the kid of her husband from a previous relationship. GAH This is so not relevant to anything, why can't I let it go... >.>

Regardless, she clearly loves her family, and is invested in her life with them. Her husband is a man who truly appreciates and loves her in return. I'm really happy for her. Her husband at one point says, "Where would I be without you," and she jokingly replies "Covered in puke." And it's the same sort of cute exchange we saw between Sam and Jess in the pilot, where he asked, "What would I do without you?" and she jokingly replied, "Crash and burn." And considering that Sam himself will mention Jessica at the end of the episode, it seems worth pointing out the thematic similarity they're trying to set up here.

I wonder how much Becky has told her husband about the reality of the Supernatural books she's built her business and hobbies around, or her own part in the events of the books? More than Sam ever told Jess about the reality of his life? At this point, I'm gonna be glad her husband didn't end up pinned to the ceiling on fire.

Becky waves goodbye to her family as they leave for a day of fun, and Chuck waves back at her. He's inserted himself into her life again, and it's freaking creepy.

Chuck says he "wanted" to see her, and corrects himself to "needed." And here we have the laying out of the classic “NEED VS WANT” conundrum we’ve been yelling about for literal years. Funny that Chuck has it all wrong himself, you know? Becky makes herself clear that she neither wants nor needs him. He's not welcome there at all, and yet he presses on, past her assertion that his problems aren't her problem. I've already written a little bit about what Chuck apparently wanted from Becky, and what he actually got from her, so I'll try not to repeat myself, but to say that Becky was far kinder to him than he deserved.

So we learn about the second cheerleader's kidnapping, Dean makes an uncharacteristically flippant comment in front of the Vice Principal (somebody has a fetish), and kinda... blinks in shock at himself before professionally affirming they'll look into it and turning and walking away. Like he can't quite believe he actually said that. Which is weird, right? Because this is the sort of thing Dean has made flippant and kinda gross comments on in the past, right? But even when he's made comments about which cheerleaders are legal (4.13), or suggestive comments about even college students, he's rarely done so this blatantly directly TO the school principal, you know? This was... odd... like everything is just slightly out of sync.

I'm fascinated by the tiny models of Supernatural things that Chuck is prodding at in Becky's house. The first thing we see is Lil Levi's gas station. The only time we have EVER seen this gas station was in 10.03, when Hannah and Cas stopped there for gas, and yet Becky has the Impala parked by the pump, and what looks like a yellow classic car of some sort on the other side, hidden by the pumps so it's impossible to really see it there.

(I swear I will replace these Mittens Quality Screencaps™ as soon as HotN properly caps the episode... apologies for the photos of my tv in the meantime)

It was Cas's pimpmobile we've actually seen at this location in canon. And this was the gas station where Cas was losing his grace, desperately trying to get to Dean in time to save him, and Hannah kept getting them lost. He calls her out over her feelings-- dangerous temptations-- clouding her judgment and getting in the way. They're attacked by Adina, and Crowley arrives just in time to save them both from her, stealing her grace and force-feeding it to Cas, enabling him to power up again and save Dean. Aah, callbacks! And I mean, it might just be a visual callback to the fact that Jensen also directed that episode (and that gas station was named after his nephew), but it's still a reference that brings an awful lot of baggage with it, regardless of what prompted its appearance in miniature in Becky's house. Not to mention, this reference happened LONG after Chuck had supposedly stopped writing about the Winchesters' lives. And yet... Becky seems to know this reference, which had nothing to do with Sam and Dean and everything to do with Cas.

The second model we see looks incredibly like (or at least should all be having us THINKING of) the Carver crypt from the first three episodes of s15. And that's... super creepy, right? What is this building? Why did Becky have a model of it at all? This happened DAYS ago in canon.

And the third is Singer Salvage yard, with the Impala parked out front. How long has it been since we've seen it? In an episode that opened on Sam's "nightmare" that involved him strung out on demon blood having just killed Bobby and Jody in Sioux Falls? Interesting that Chuck expressed fascination with that particular model in this episode, isn't it?

He asks if Becky is still obsessed with his work, and she corrects him. She's obsessed with HER work. She'd essentially dismissed Chuck as the creator of Supernatural, and relegated him to the role of Recorder Of Events, as a prophet. It wasn't actually HIS story. But what she's made of it, what she's made her life's work, IS HER OWN CREATION, based on the same reality she believed that Chuck had been nothing more than a conduit for. And OUCH for a guy like Chuck to not even get credit for any of it now, because of the lie he'd told to insert himself into his own creation. It's incredible to me. He wants nothing more than recognition as the creator, as the writer, and Becky's far more interested in her OWN stories about the same characters. She saw herself as more than Chuck’s equal as a writer, she saw herself as his superior. He just recorded, she CREATES. She dismissed everything Chuck was most interested in, and writes the characters all having achieved a measure of peace and happiness, the same as she has. And Chuck... hates it. :'D

Remember, this is the guy who invented monsters before he invented anything else. Leviathans were his first creation, even before the archangels. But they had a nasty habit of eating everything else he tried to create, so he grudgingly locked them in Purgatory, and moved on to the next thing. And he's had a lot of similar failures over the years... like the original hellhound that Lucifer stole away (and that Sam killed in 12.15). Seems like this has always been the story Chuck wanted to tell, because he's always only ever had his original drama with Amara as a source for his creation. He's... obsessed... with his version of events, no matter how many times he's confronted with reality, he weasels out of personal responsibility for everything. Like he does in this scene with Becky, letting her believe he's just a poor dude who wants to keep writing and lost his writing mojo because his prophet powers dried up.

This is probably the first Becky's heard Chuck had a sister, who Chuck only explains rejected him because she "sucks." And... Chuck... you're leaving out the horrific things you've done to her as an explanation of why she refused to help you. He's still hiding behind the “super cute” Chuck Facade. And nothing he says is an out and out lie, but it's entirely a manipulation, a complete reframing of the cosmic scale of what's happened into something he expects Becky to be able to offer him sympathy over. And she's just not having it. And again, good for her.

Chuck admitting that he's lost and hates himself at least engages Becky enough to try something to get him moving forward (again, still thinking he's just a guy who's lost everything). And tells him if writing makes him happy, then he should write.

Meanwhile Dean's incongruously eating a hot dog (WHERE IS HE GETTING ALL THIS FOOD?!) and interviewing a beaver. Sam questions why, and Dean's not only gotten information about the case (mascots have access to cheerleaders), but information about the kid inside the suit (he's a smart kid, got a full ride to IU). Dean's been unusually productive while chewing that hot dog, apparently. But he’s basically a caricature of himself during this case, like he’s trying to wear a suit he hasn’t worn in 15 years, and is finding it really ill-fitting. (it’s probably all the snacks he’s eating, honestly)

Veronica hands Billy a black wristband printed SUSIEFOREVER, which... is probably how Billy's feeling at the moment (hello, she was his girlfriend and he accidentally killed her... this is gonna haunt him forever). Veronica (who we've already been told by the latest girl to disappear is "so fake" in her grief over Susie's death) seems to be coming on to Billy, or at least making her interest in him known. And we DON'T know how all of this will resolve yet, but there's an awful lot going on in this scene. Did Veronica actually kill Susie? Is she the vampire and is that the reason for this OTT "so fake" grief on her part? Did Billy's "anything for my kid" mother who interrupts the scene actually kill her and Billy know something about it? Why is everyone acting so... weird?

Because we're back to the plasticity of this entire case again. What's actually killing cheerleaders? What's really going on here? If this entire case is Chuck's machination, because he wrote it down, and therefore subtly affected the situation, is that why everything seems just slightly off? Slightly malleable, as if Chuck is only working out the details of the case as he's writing it all down?

Billy leaves with his mom, and Veronica is left in a dimly lit gym filled with empty chairs and programs for the memorial service. She's practicing her speech to this huge empty room, speaking into a microphone. And as she talks, she edits her speech.

We've seen Chuck do this. in 4.18, he had Dean push the doorbell with determination, and then went back and edited it to read "with forceful determination." Just before the doorbell rang, and it was a forcefully determined Dean doing the ringing... So Veronica's self-edit here seems almost like a Chuck self-edit.

Remember how I mentioned way back toward the beginning of this mess how Sam asked the VP for a clarification on who Susie's "BEST" friends were, and Veronica was singled out among a group of her close friends? And now Veronica stands alone not only as the sole person in the room here talking to empty chairs, but as the one with apparent motive to kill Susie, who's been accused of expressing a lot of over-the-top melodramatic "so fake" grief. And... she edits her relationship with Susie on the fly:

Veronica: We are here to celebrate the life of my friend Susie. No. *clears throat* *takes a breath* We are here to celebrate the life of my best friend Susie. My best friend Susie who I miss like... *sigh* like she was a part of me. And in many ways she's still a part of me. She'll always be a part of all of us. Susie Martin was as rare as a ghost orchid and as unique as a snowflake. So beautiful inside and out. But as Robert Frost tells us, nothing gold can stay. And that's what Susie was. Pure gold.

And during this entire speech, to the empty room, the music in the background is ominous, looming, tense. The musical cue is telling us to doubt her performance here, with the high strings picking up the tension just as she comes to a close and Dean shows up with his slow clap. I mean, it was a pretty OTT speech, delivered with an intensity that literally does feel rehearsed. Stilted. Plastic. Everything in the case so far has pointed the arrow at her being the monster. The framing of the narrative would support it if it had been true, but the background of the entire case feels exactly as Becky has described it. What if THIS was the original ending to the case that Becky had voiced her complaints about, as if THIS is the story that Chuck would've written.

But that's such weaksauce. MotW episodes are nothing if not thematically consistent. Vampires are about revenge cases, and this case is a very specifically pointed bit of revenge, of Chuck against the Winchesters. They ruined the last story he tried to tell, and the fact this started out looking like something OTHER than a vampire case (possibly a ghoul, based on the parallel to 9.10, and a dismembered body), and then seemingly remolded itself INTO a vampire case halfway through... it feels like that first fang Dean found at the morgue was Chuck sinking his teeth into their lives.

And Veronica, no matter how the case had painted her to this point, was completely innocent. A bit plastic, because she's a victim of this reality bend as much as Sam and Dean are, because the real monster of this case is Chuck-- only Sam and Dean don't have any idea yet.

Dean calls her on her fake emotions, and they directly accuse her of killing her friend. And get the proof that she was innocent because she HAS BRACES, which she's apparently self-conscious about, but it proved she wasn't a vampire. *SIGH*

Plastic.

So Sam and Dean look for video evidence from surveillance cam footage, which the police had apparently already looked at and found nothing, but now they find a car driving past immediately after the second girl's abduction. Did the police not see it? Or is this another bit of plastic?

Meanwhile back at Billy's house, his parents refuse to even hear him say Susie's name, and suspicion immediately shifts to their entire family. Billy's father washes blood off his hands, and nobody seems to find this strange. Are they all monsters? Did one of them slip up? What the heckeroo is actually going on here? Whatever it is, it feels like they're all complicit, and Billy seems to be having reservations. Except they've also got the latest victim tied up and blindfolded in their storage room. So... they're definitely guilty of something. But we're only halfway through the episode at this point, so there's clearly more to the story.

Chuck tells Becky he can't see what Sam and Dean are doing anymore, as he conveniently scratches at his left shoulder where his wound connecting him to Sam is. Which is wild, right? Because what little we know about the Equalizer gun was that it fired INTENT. And that it affects the person shot and the shooter identically. So what was Sam's intent when he shot Chuck? Dean had just told Chuck to "Go to Hell," but Sam didn't say anything out loud when he shot Chuck. Was his intent "stop fucking with our lives" or more vaguely grief-filled "go to hell" or something more? Because whatever intention Sam shot at Chuck seems to have directly caused both Chuck's loss of power AND his inability to see directly into their lives now. And after having watched the Sam and Dean show for their entire lives, Chuck is PISSED about not being able to see what they're up to.

And I wonder, incidentally, if this will be the same factor that's causing problems for the Winchesters, too... that Sam may have inadvertently severed whatever protective force had made their lives as hunters as... implausibly unproblematic as they've always been, you know? I think we'll be seeing that develop more in the next episode, but we saw hints of it happening in this episode too (like with Dean's comment about the killer having a cheerleader fetish). But regardless, I think this is why Sam is suffering these grief-fueled nightmares, his inability to breathe, and his general current mental state. He’s suffering from the same intent he’d fired at Chuck. Only it hit Chuck with a case of writer’s block, while it hit Sam with something he’s been unable to truly define or explain. Yet.

Becky tells Chuck to write about the Winchesters if he loves their story so much, because that's what SHE does. Her stories don't have to be based in reality for her to enjoy them, but Chuck's only metaphorically a writer. He doesn't just want to make up tales, he wants to literally create reality. During Becky's entire pep talk, Chuck's holding a little figurine of Sam pointing a gun, and ain't that just on the nose? She plucks Sam out of Chuck’s hands and puts him back on the mantle (and I admit to at first thinking it was the Cas doll from 5.06, because Dean did the same thing with Cas, putting him up on the mantle like that), but Chuck still expresses doubt in his ability to actually write.

And here's where the most incongruous stuff in the entire episode begins happening-- the family dynamics of a killer family. It's still unclear who the monster is among them, but like Dean, we are leaning toward the father. The thing is, none of it's actually plausible. That's the beauty of this entire case. It's plastic.

How did this single kid out of this entire town get turned by a vampire, and his parents just... completely accepted what happened immediately without question? How did they KNOW what to do for their son in this circumstance? They went out and killed animals for their blood for him. Where did they learn to do this for him? And then how could they so casually just... kidnap a whole human being just to feed their son? Why not go back to feeding him animal blood like he'd done before? They didn't see anything wrong with any of this, either. DID THESE PEOPLE NOT HAVE QUESTIONS?!

And what of the vampire that made him? Did that vampire just... turn him and run? Did he give the kid a pamphlet explaining vampire life to him or something? It's just utterly baffling that this whole family just... incorporated this development into their lives as if it was all an entirely normal thing to accept about their kid. The dad KIDNAPPED A WHOLE ENTIRE HUMAN BEING for him on his own initiative, the mom was ready to shoot Sam and Dean for interfering in their plans. LIKE HOW IS ANY OF THIS NORMAL?!

And perhaps most bizarre of all, Sam and Dean didn't see anything wrong with it in reflection later that night. But I'll get to that when we get there. Heck this note-writing thing is really hard when I already know everything that's gonna happen. I have enough trouble staying on point without the benefit of foresight. :'D

So these parents are insistent that they're doing all of this, sacrificing all of this, just for him. And when he tells them he doesn't want them to, they just beg him to tell them what he wants from them. And he's just so frustrated because they aren't listening to him. Like they don't even care about him despite professing they're doing all of this so he can be happy. And he's just... profoundly not happy.

So the father, when Sam and Dean show up, still thinks they're going to ARREST him. Which is a weird thing for a suspected vampire to believe, and he's horrified when Dean pulls out a machete instead of handcuffs. This is a totally shocking development for him, and yet he STILL holds it together enough to bargain for his wife and son's lives. And the wife is profoundly confused by this, and our suspicions shift to her. But that's still... not quite right. She's prepared to literally shoot what she believes to be two FBI agents to save her son, again, as if all of this was entirely normal. As if this is what normal people are willing to do for their monster children.

I've already written a bunch about Becky's critique of Chuck's writing, and how poorly Chuck takes her notes. Chuck... is really out of touch with fanfic culture. Becky's reading this story as if it was fic, not reality. She kudos'ed and commented, and expected Chuck to just accept that and move on, because that's how fic culture works. But he demanded a beta read level critique, and Becky gave it. And he shouldn't have asked for it if he didn't actually want it.

And here comes the revenge that justifies the Vampire Plot. Chuck... is the vampire. he's the monster that doomed Billy for no reason. Who drove the parents to such extreme lengths to protect their child. Because that's how CHUCK saw what TFW had done to protect Jack. He saw it as just that outrageous and unfounded, even though it was in no way the same. We just witnessed Chuck's critique of TFW's actions in 14.20, and it was scathing, mocking, and vindictive.

Plastic.

But I also suspect that Becky wasn't reading ~this case~ exactly, because she complained that Sam and Dean were tied up (they were never once tied up in this episode), and she complained about the villain monologue being stale (Dean does most of the monologuing here, and it's Sam who figures out what's actually going on). Just one more bit of plastic.

But Chuck somehow managed (even if he couldn't see it) to put Jack's 14.20 realizations about himself into Billy's mouth. As if Chuck's story had already been written, and through some power of its own it was brought into reality via these previously innocent people. The story itself is more powerful than the author.

Like Jack, Billy has been trying to accept responsibility for his actions. He couldn't control himself, he didn't know it would happen, but he's dangerous and needs to be stopped. And Billy's speech isn't a "villain monologue," but a painful confession of everything he'd done. So what story was Becky reading?

Sam angrily judges the parents' actions, and Dean expresses his shock that the father would've just let him cut off his head to save his son. And is taken aback at the comment that he must not have kids, if he doesn't think he wouldn't have done the same for his own child.

And Dean's like... well, no I wouldn't have done the same for my own child. It's a super messed up situation that I'd really been trying not to think too hard about, thanks. It's been less than a week and here you go bringing up the worst day of our lives, so thanks for that... but they carry on. The mother says they just wanted him to have a normal life, and that's something Jack never would've had regardless because of what he was. But he had *a* life, with the Winchesters. If Jack had been a vampire, they wouldn't have gone out hunting and kidnapping teenage girls for him to eat, you know? But they were willing to raid heaven and shout down God for Jack. But context matters. And this hastily assembled vampire family ready to play revenge/victim for Chuck's story lacked all context. They were plastic.

It's Billy who ends up dictating how his parents are to handle everything, calm as can be. And his parents finally listen to him. And he sacrifices himself to the Winchesters. And they just... go along with it, take him out to the woods, and Dean kills the boy kneeling at his feet, accepting his fate as he's clearly crying, while Sam watches on. It's what Chuck had wanted in 14.20, and Dean had refused to give him. And now this entire situation has been Dean, manipulated into providing that demanded sacrifice, one way or another. And the most interesting bit of it? Chuck... couldn't even see it playing out. He missed the whole show that played out in Chuck Puppet Theater despite the fact. Like whatever he actually wrote was irrelevant, because his intent is somehow still connecting through to the Winchesters in pantomime.

And Sam and Dean's reactions to all of this are also just weirdly plastic.

I've already written about Chuck and Becky enough I think, but Chuck's moved on from "Writers lie," to "I can do anything, I'm a writer." With some of the worst villain monologue we've ever gotten, with "There, see, it's making you feel something! That's good, right?" While Becky is outraged and heartbroken over Chuck's ending. The only thing I need to say about whatever Chuck's planned ending is, is that if the series ends the way CHUCK wants it to, it'll go down as the biggest intentional betrayal of a fandom in the history of television. The show has stated to us in this episode that Chuck is the final boss big bad, and that he cannot be allowed to win. He can't have the final word in this story.

In *our* world, the current writers have officially called out a good number of sins of their past and exposed them via Chuck. They wrote the Leviathans being a personal favorite of Chuck's despite being pretty universally hated by fandom... well... they're looking for redemption for themselves in s15. THEY can't allow the story to end horribly. They've staked their current writing cred on it, as well as the entire history of 15 years of building TFW into the heroes. Sure, they've joked that not all fans will be happy with the ending, but in serious comments they've also promised a "real" ending and not some advanced level deus ex machina that wipes everything clean, either. That's a lot to deliver, and Chuck's suggested ending of the Winchesters horrifically dead doesn't deliver any of it.

So... back to the denouement of the episode. To the Impala! The least plastic thing in the entire episode. But it's pretty plastic.

Sam suggests that what Henry did for his son, was something they would've done for Jack, given the chance. And no, he's not talking about kidnapping teenage girls to feed him, he's talking about offering himself as a sacrifice in his son's place. Because Dean literally did do that. He was willing to sacrifice himself to kill Jack before he could kill again. It's what Chuck had presented as the ONLY way to stop Jack from destroying the world, with the examples of Jack having accidentally killed Mary, and then the whole of society crumbling because Jack told everyone to stop lying. But Sam? He wasn't willing to sacrifice both of them. And then he learned the truth from Chuck, about the manipulations that forced them all to this point, how Chuck probably did have the power to make everything right, restore Jack's soul, everything... but he didn't want to because it was more entertaining for him to watch them act out his plots instead. He WANTED that drama, that horrible sacrifice. He ENJOYED it.

But given the choice, I think Sam and Dean both would've traded places with Jack. We actually *saw* Cas literally exchange himself for Jack in 14.08. But Chuck wasn't satisfied with that trade. He wanted more from them, and they decided they were done playing on his stage.

There's a bit of incongruity in the speech Dean gives Sam about his current state, as well. He's usually so much better at reading Sam, yet he's comparing Sam's current mental state to his own back in the crypt, after Chuck. And just... no? This is not it at all? When he told Sam he's felt like cashing in, *we* think of 13.05, where he literally DID think of cashing in, you know? That feels far more similar to how Sam's feeling right now than to Dean's ANGER and "we need a plan!" bossiness from the crypt after Chuck. It's jarring as a comparison, because IT'S THE WRONG THING ENTIRELY.

But it's wrong, because it's the glaring omission of Cas that's already been lampshaded in the episode. That Dean's current blind spot here is shining a violently bright light on what SHOULD be said. Just like the end of 13.05 when we all yelled "HELLO, DEAN" at the television when Cas didn't say the line to him. We've been talking FOR YEARS about how this show uses narrative negative space like this, how it expects us to shout HEY WHAT ABOUT CAS?! at the screen, or to see that even this driving scene in the dark, in the car, is a perfect inverse mirror of that scene in 13.05, where Sam had spent that entire episode feeding his favorite junk food that he criticized Dean for in this episode, Dean and dragging him out on a case in the hopes of making him feel like himself again and... that's what Dean's telling Sam he wanted to work this case for now, to show Sam exactly what Sam had tried (and failed spectacularly) to show Dean in 13.05.

Dean even quotes some of Cas's last words to him before he left, that he should "move on."

But they needed to walk around the giant Cas-shaped hole in the narrative. And they needed to do it this incongruously. And that's exactly why it works.

And it's why Sam CAN'T move on. He doesn't feel free. I've already written a bit about this, and how it's directly tied to Sam's wound, and what it's probably doing to him. And what IS it doing to him? Chuck wobbles his head side to side, and the Sam and Dean bobbleheads on the desk beside him follow suit.

[tonyglowheart]

.

I wish there were more fandom meta (meta and not salt vents, which is often what my posts get tinged with by the time I post here 8') rip) about the intersection of fandom competing needs and cultural/racial sensitivity or like intersectionality-fueled competing needs here on tumblr. Bc there's a LOT of discussion I'll see on twt, and some of it is borne of discourse sure, but then some good discourse comes out of it on how to treat interfandom issues more intersectionally, and how to be/to try to be more consideration of a source culture especially when you're not a part of either the source culture or the source target audience.

I do still think there's a good chunk of EN audience that is quite Western-centric/Western-gaze/Americentric in their views, and acts like & treats moral values or aesthetic judgments as universal. Yes, even some ppl who aren't espousing purity wank.

Sometimes it's as simple as the way they call names, or some person making a joke about a trope within the media like the spitting blood, or the names. But here's the thing: it does discomfort me to see this kind of casual behavior sometimes bc I do think, as far as cultural sensitivity goes, it's out of place bc they're not your jokes to make. Like in Mean Girls where it was only okay for Janis to make the too gay to function joke. Or how like I can make Asian parent jokes with my fellow diaspora, but if a white person tries to participate I get very uncomfortable. Or okay, I can and will ask other Asians where they're from or what flavor of Asian they are, often with that kind of joking self aware tone of how yes this is how the wypipo Other us, and it's fine, but if some other rando (usually white) off the street asks me where I'm *from*, I'm now born in the good ol USA and I play dumb until they drop it lmfao.

I just... wish there's more convos on intersectional issues and cultural sensitivity and cultural competence and how intl audiences can be polite guests in media-not-their-own here, bc... part of the reason I'm not as much on here now except sometimes when I have a salt-vent too long for twt, is that I feel stiffled and silenced here. I feel like I have to shut up to be considerate to white feelings, because they're prioritizing "traditional fandom etiquette" but to the exclusion of considering issues and competing needs intersectionally. I feel like sometimes I *can't* have certain conversations or feelings without it being offputting to people who are "just here to have fun bc it's fandom" so it becomes "you're policing people/ you're gatekeeping", instead of "hey maybe can we pause and consider an alternate perspective to competing needs, and like maybe some intersectionality." And I think that's part of what's been triggering for me here, the like marginalized identity feeling of "you better shut up or we'll shut you out" triggering that like helpless rage I feel when it comes to the fractures in trying to reconcile my diaspora/"immigrant" identity.

Some of this is like, my own brewing cognitive dissonance on tumblr side-fandom of this burgeoning cmedia fandom sector here, but some of these thoughts came out of the recent growing discussions surrounding fandom and race(racism) too, as well as posts I've seen that had me thinking abt things from different perspectives.

But anyway, I mean it's not all fandom-driven. Tumb itself has made changes that make it harder for me to navigate too and more work to navigate. So I'm not "blaming" tumblr fandom or anything. But just... I get this feeling of having to manage (white) feelings here that I don't tend to get on tumblr, and I feel like from what I've seen of tumblr fandom has been very homogeneous, but towards a "traditional Tumblr-based English-language fandom way," vs Twitter where I feel like I've been able to find a more diverse-feeling base.

And like this is by no means definitive or exhaustive, and I may in fact have missed segments of fandom where there ARE more danmei fans, and I do know several ppl who're tumblr ppl who ARE very publicly making efforts to get to learn the culture more and who are publicly demonstrating how they're trying to be respectful vs just being there to "have fun" and not apparently to really stretch themselves about it. Like I'm very aware this could just be a "me" thing and what part of the tumblr fandom I'm seeing & am generally in.

And I'm also aware that a more "productive" way of handling this would be to turn that frustration into action and work to educate ppl more and engage with ppl to encourage positive explorations into language and culture.

But like... the world is like actively depressing me and has been for months, and I run on like 3.5 energies on a good day and much of that goes to getting thru the work day, and the rest is usually for me to channel out so I can decompress as much as I can to try to get ready for the next day, and like.. I DO have a lot of anger and resentment in me from feeling marginalized and silenced thru my life, as an Asian American, as well as relentlessly pushed to assimilate even though I had to also reconcile that I will likely always be Othered because there'll always be some new random white person who meets me and the first thing they ask is if I speak English. And like on a good day, I maybe don't always have the energy to perform emotional labor to placate white feelings in addition to the emptional labor of educating them. Let alone now when the world has been having consecutive crises for literal years now at this point and all of this has had additional adverse effects on my mental health.

And like at least on twitter, even though the wank cycles are so short and the wank there feels so explosive, at least there ARE people having discussions on, if not necessarily intersectionality per se, then discussions on decolonizing as far as EN fandom towards Asians/Chinese ppl in cmedia fandoms go. Like at least there, I don't feel like I'm drowned in a sea of Anglocentric fandom priorities, and like a good segment of ppl push back against colonizing tendencies from Anglocentric fandom, & I can find my ppl and feel seen and heard without feeling like people are seeing me more as a nuisance intruding on THEIR fun, as if I'M the interloper/outrageous one here.

[fandom-necromancer]

828. part 2

This was prompted by @thetruefor3stspirit! Enjoy!

Fandom: Detroit become human | Ship: Reed900

[part1]

That comment had been a weird one to hear from the human and Nines spent the remaining car ride to the precinct thinking about it. They hadn’t been working together for long, but long enough for Nines to confirm what others had told him about the man: He was rude, impolite, swore more than was good for him and still thought of androids as machines, as objects. He could play along well enough, but Nines still was met by derogatory terms and jokes about his kind. Gavin hated Connor to the bone, couldn’t care less about androids and Nines knew he was sorted in somewhere in between those two.

For this assessment the human’s words had been strangely out of character.  Maybe he had misunderstood something? Maybe it was one of Gavin’s frequent self-hating jokes, telling him that no one would take him as someone as bad as himself. Yeah, that had to be it. Anything else was impossible.

They worked relentlessly on their case, Gavin checking the evidence at hand while Nines accessed public CCTV and how many TR models were currently active in Detroit. Unfortunately, none of them got any results from their research. The evidence they had wasn’t enough to find any trace of the murderer, even after a thorough autopsy of the android victim. The footage was conveniently deleted, looped or obstructed and there were far too many TRs to just go around asking for a spare, ripped out Thirium pump. If anything, that told them the TR in question wasn’t working alone as they had neither the ability nor the computing power to hack the cameras that fast and effectively. Except for if their suspect was a RK900, of course. Then all that would be possible with just one unit. Nines really wished it wasn’t the case.

‘Hey, Gavin, Nines? You’ve got a new crime-scene to look at. I would hurry, it’s still fresh.’ Gavin was immediately up and picked up his jacket from the chair. Nines followed shortly. It had been two days since the last one and everyone knew they had enough open cases already. That could only mean… ‘What’s it, Chris? Any details?’ ‘Ripped out Thirium pump.’ ‘You are shitting me’, Gavin uttered. ‘Nope. Same shit as last time.’ ‘Phck.’

‘Phck, please don’t let this be some serial killer, please!’ Nines was processing the information the DPD had already gathered, ignoring the emotional outburst from his partner. ‘Victim is another android. It looks… awfully much like our last victim. It is very much possible that they were murdered by the same person.’ ‘Shit. Detroit really doesn’t need this kind of bullshit.’ ‘Don’t worry, Detective. At least they only target androids.’ Gavin clenched his teeth. Nines had quickly lost his uncertainty around him that had clung to him the first days of them working together. Apparently, the machine had concluded his assessment of him in keeping his distance. And what was that last comment for? Phcking androids. ‘Yeah, at least they only target androids’, he hissed at the droid. What had he thought? Nines was just a prick like any other.

They arrived at the scene and as Gavin entered the kitchen of the house, he near gagged from the chemical stench. It hurt in his nose like spilled washing agent. Only then he could squint at the body. And holy shit, that was a lot of blood. The blue liquid gathered in a pool underneath the android. It was still visible though and that let his brain run at top speed. ‘This happened less than two hours ago, right? As the thirium is still liquid?’ ‘That’s right, Detective.’ ‘And the hole in his chest is the same size again?’ ‘Correct.’ ‘How long would you need to erase all camera footage?’ ‘Detective, I am not-‘ ‘How long?’ ‘If I wanted to be as thoroughly as our suspect, it really just depends on the amount of cameras.’ ‘Well, look out of the window, I immediately counted at least five in those shops.’ ‘I see thirteen.’ ‘Ugh, smartass. How long then?’ ‘More than two hours. But we would need a warrant and it could still be a TR-‘ ‘Phck warrants, if this is a serial killer, do you want to wait until the next android dies?’ ‘What is it to you, Detective.’ ‘Phcking… Would you just hack the shit? Come on, we can argue about it later and we don’t have to tell anyone. We’ll get that footage eventually anyways.’

Nines scowled at the man, who was already kneeling in front of the victim, putting on gloves to lift the android��s clothing. Then he started to find a way to access the footage. ‘No.’ ‘What is it?’ ‘The murderer is a RK900.’ ‘Shit. Where is he now? I will call in backup.’ ‘And what will you tell them how we found it out?’ ‘I’ll bullshit something for them, okay toaster? Just find him, quick!’

-

They had found the RK900 by hacking several surveillance cameras on their way and had to fight the android in the end to subdue him. Both had the bruises to proof just how strong a RK900 unit was and Gavin swore to never anger his partner the way he had had his fun with Connor. They interrogated the machine and tried to find out where the rest of them were hiding but were met by it stating his missions and how they were not authorised to be told the information they searched. The RK900 was stubborn in his programming and created enough problems for the police that two permanent android guards were positioned in front of his cell. Or the cell next to his first one he had smashed the reinforced glass of. The machine tried everything to get out of there, displaying his brute force and disregard of his own health. He had severed his own hand to cause an electric surge on the lock of the door and had always doubled his efforts when he sensed an android outside. He babbled on about deviancy being a plague, a malfunction and that all free androids had to be eliminated.

‘It’s a fucking Terminator’, people commented. ‘How could someone build something like that?’ ‘God, this is scary.’ No one seemed to notice how everyone subconsciously kept their distance to Nines after the day the android had freed himself a second time and not only broke the glass, but also an arm and a leg of the guards before Connor could send the android into forced stasis. No one noticed how the heart rates of everyone not over two metres away of Nines spiked. No one noticed how Nines tried to make himself smaller, to not move too much in the precinct and kept seated in front of his terminal, even during break time.

‘Hey, lighten up a little.’ Nines flinched at the sudden contact of a hand on his shoulder. Who still dared to- ‘You’ve been red all day, tin-can.’ Of course. ‘Don’t you have work to do?’, Nines grumbled, scowl deepening as the human sat himself on his desk awfully close. Yeah, we got it. You are not scared. You have a death wish anyway, thinking androids are below you. ‘I actually have, yes. But it’s time for a break and your disco-light is damn distracting.’ ‘You never take your break, Detective.’ ‘Yeah, but you do. So why is your metal ass still here and not over there with drunkard and poodle?’ ‘None of your business.’ ‘Fine. But you know, keeping your distance to them won’t solve your problem.’ ‘What problem?’, Nines asked, his question more a threat than anything. A threat the human ignored as always: ‘They are scared of you because you are the same damn model than the idiot in our holding cell. You know, it’s funny, you predicted that scenario last week and somehow missed the whole thing playing out in front of you.’

‘I saw it, Detective’, the android snarled. ‘Don’t you think I would be the first to notice?’ ‘Well, you are not doing anything about it, so… no?’ ‘What is your problem? Just lean back and enjoy the show. You might lose an android on the force over this. Thought that would be a win for you?’ ‘I think you are overexaggerating.’ ‘What? You being happy when I’m gone? I don’t think so.’ Gavin sighed and slipped from the table. ‘You are a real pain in the ass, you know? Continue like this and I really would be.’

He yawned and walked over to Connor’s desk and Nines thought that would be the end of it. Until he was surprised by two folders repeatedly being smacked together. Nines looked over to the detective, who kept on doing this with two of Connor’s open case files while marching down the bullpen. Then he let them sink to his respective sides and yelled: ‘Attention, dipshits! The android in the holding cell is the killing machine here. I thought the DPD would only hire people who had the braincells to show for it, but apparently you all cheated your end exam or something. My partner isn’t the phcking serial killer and you assholes better don’t treat him like one. I need a fully operational partner and I won’t let you all pull him down, understood?’ Gavin had all the attention of a shocked crowd screaming through the precinct loud enough the people in the lobby had to hear it and the human nodded into the silence. ‘Good.’ He had arrived at the entrance and casually threw both folders into a – thankfully empty – trashcan. The man added a ‘Phcking Kindergarten’ to his speech and exited the precinct.

Nines had been left to the attention of his co-workers after Gavin had went outside and couldn’t help but blush and turn around to his terminal. What the hell had the human thought doing this? An hour later Gavin came back, holding a coffee from a local coffeeshop. He strode through the precinct as if it was a day like any other and sat down at his table across from Nines, ignoring the whispered talks of everyone else. The android however heard them loud and clear. ‘What the hell happened to Reed?’ ‘I know right? He hates attention!’ ‘Yeah, more importantly he hates androids. Didn’t you hear what he did before the revolution?’ ‘No. What?’ ‘I heard he was one of those guys abusing thrown out androids.’ ‘Holy shit. They let someone like that work at the police?’ ‘I know, right?’

Nines shook his head trying to concentrate on the screen in front of him again.

‘I bet he did it because Nines is convenient for him. Just some android he can command around.’

‘Poor Nines, stuck with such an asshole.’

‘Must be the worst. I wouldn’t last a day partnered up to Reed.’

Nines looked over to the man silently sipping his coffee, completely focussed on the photos of the crime-scene laying before him. He really seemed as if his head was in a different world, being able to ignore all of this. He had to hear it. How could he filter it out that well? As Gavin looked up to type up the report for this case, Nines interrupted: ‘Why?’ ‘Hmm?’ The man put down his coffee and looked at him innocently as if he hadn’t just guilt-shamed all of the precinct to be nice to him. ‘Why did you do that?’ ‘What? Bought me a coffee? I had my break and well, I couldn’t exactly stay after-‘ ‘You know exactly what I mean, don’t evade it!’ ‘Why did I defend my partner, you mean? Didn’t think I had to explain that. I’m keeping my promise, tin-can. Even if not, partners are supposed to have each other’s back.’ ‘What promise?’ ‘Last week? In the car? Don’t tell me you forgot that already!’ ‘You meant that?’ ‘Did I mean tha- Of course I meant that! Why else would I say it? Did you think I was joking?’ ‘At least I didn’t think you were being serious. You hate androids.’ Gavin leaned back in his chair and sighed. ‘Listen, Nines. I don’t hate androids, okay? I used to demolish thrown out machines. I could as well had been vandalising bus-stops or graffiti dicks on walls. I can’t care less about androids, that’s right. I couldn’t care less for humans either. But I care about the persons around me and what is right and what is wrong. Why else should I choose to work at the police? It definitely isn’t the nice work atmosphere and the great retirement policy.’

Nines just stared at the man, who quickly evaded his eyes. That was the most honest the human had been to him so far. Or had Nines just never noticed it? He thought back to their talk in the car. Had he really meant every word he had said? In the lights of his recent actions he might have. And Nines realised the chances weren’t too bad that he had let himself become a victim of prejudice. Everyone had told him the detective was an asshole, someone who hated androids and would rather see one in a ditch than save one on the job. He had been wrong to believe them. Gavin was a good partner, caring and compassionate about his job.

‘Thank you’, Nines said in all honesty, thinking back to what he had thrown at the human back in the car.

I don’t want to be pegged as someone like you.

‘Hmm?’ The human looked up at him again and Nines couldn’t shake the feeling Gavin had already been back at thinking about their case, not even bothering what Nines’ evaluation of him was once he made clear how he thought about the android.

‘I think I would be honoured to be put in a box with people like you.’

[pseudoneiiric]

meta post: lili and her gender

let me go on the record to say that i fucking love lilian eyler with my whole heart, like, i typed all this out and im so fucking emotional about her! in the past, i've written things about hello charlotte and how the lgbt representation is... lacking, let's call it, and i've also made a few headcanon posts here and there about lilian's transition and her relationship with gender. so i thought, you know, let's actually write a whole ass thing about it. so here it is.

content warnings: gender dysphoria, suicide attempts, homophobia/transphobia in the original source material

PART 1: ETHERANE'S BAD TAKES so... etherane did not handle lgbt stuff well, like, in the slightest. lili is canonically genderfluid, as seen in one of those little profile things that etherane drew that doesn't actually show up in any of the games. but her genderfluid identity isn't handled well at all in the actual source material. actually, in general, hello charlotte is pretty transphobic. to cite one example, there’s this journal entry in hello charlotte 3 talking about “defective” charlotte vessels, and one of the things that can make a charlotte vessel “defective” is for them to be born amab or intersex. this already has some really bad vibes, but then we remember also that one of the big functions of charlottes is apparently for them to be sexualized (yikes!!!!!) and so we also get this weird kind of like, “trans people aren’t hot” kind of take?

but anyway. when it comes to lilian specifically, she never actually states in canon that she’s genderfluid or otherwise trans, not even in the spinoff visual novel, which, by the way, would have been the perfect place to address her gender identity, and she consistently uses he/him pronouns. we don’t actually get to see any of her thought processes about her gender at all — like at this point, i can’t even say it’s a non-issue because that would imply that they even mentioned her gender in canon. the only time we can potentially extrapolate from canon that lili might not be cis is when anri mentions that charlotte is lili’s self-insert oc. that’s kind of heavy-handed with the whole “charlotte being the female name for charles”, but that’s another matter. the point is, with the lack of any canon basis that lilian’s even vaguely questioned her gender, the reveal that she’s actually genderfluid with like, two pieces of artwork that are detached from the actual game feels very pxrfxrmxtxvxly xnclxsxvx (performatively inclusive) especially considering how.... etherane talked about lilian’s gender in particular within the actual canon material.

after all, the story behind lilian is effectively that, after she was born, her mother was forced to abort her second child, a daughter that she would name scarlett. doing so plunged her into a really deep depression that eventually took on delusional qualities. so ever since lilian was about three years old, her mother has been referring to her exclusively as scarlett, asking her to ‘ be a good girl ’ and similarly raising her as a girl. we can see here that etherane seems to have implied that genderfluidity is something that happens because other people make it so, and isn’t an identity and lived experience. (bad take!) although, albeit unintentionally, i think etherane did lay some groundwork to talk about lilian’s relationship with her gender, specifically with regards to her projection onto her oc, charlotte. in high school, when she’s more active on the internet, we see that she’s going by charlotte and using she/her pronouns. anri, her irl friend, is pretty openly critical of that, but she sort of brushes off anri’s complaints and continues to present as feminine online. now, there’s this fanfic writer who goes by the pseudonym “c”, and lilian very quickly takes an interest in him. the way she talks to c, who doesn’t know her irl, compared anri, who does, is just like flat-out like they’re completely different people.

compare, her with c:

to her with anri:

i also wanted to mention that lili does occasionally act more “femininely” with anri, but it’s never to the extent that she does with c, and in general, affectionate banter is sort of... outright ridiculed in their friendship both ways. see this one exchange:

anri: >:) always up for some roasting lili: right? <3 <3 anri: now you’re the one being gross

unrelated but it fucking kills me that anri was like “ily <3” and lili went “gross” so she went “kys” and lili deadass goes “that’s better” like that’s what anri is referencing when she says “now you’re the one being gross” and im like... please just be healthy friends who don’t wish death on each other???

it’s also worth noting that c doesn’t know that she’s not “actually” a girl, and literally when they meet, she goes like, “it’s you who should be disappointed in me. charlotte turned out to be charles, whoops! i bet you were hoping that i’d be a cute girl.” and that’s... really depressing, like, she ended up really leaning into that cutesy side of her when she was talking to c and now she feels the need to be a lot more... sarcastic and bitter, like how she is with anri, because now c “knows the truth about her”, that she’s “actually been a guy all along”.

in any case, i think the intent that etherane was going for with this was kind of like... “lilian’s actually a repressed cis gay man!” which is . not great. it gives off this really gross vibes where it’s implied that since lili was raised as a girl and is into men, she got “confused” and started going by she/her online because she couldn’t come to terms with her sexuality or whatever. and that’s just such a bad take!!!

not to mention that a really important part of lili’s backstory is... her germaphobia. she has persistent delusions accompanied by visual hallucinations where she sees people as “parasites”, which visually manifests as them rotting or decomposing. because of that, she wears gloves all the time and is repulsed by physical touch. but when she meets c (whose real name is vincent) in person, she pretty much instantly goes for skin-to-skin contact with him, where she takes off her glove and holds his hand. and like, sure, that’s sweet, but that’s really not how mental illness... works. in the slightest. she doesn’t react at all when his hand touches hers, despite the fact that she has literally had panic attacks in canon from touching things without her gloves. and it gives off this implication that mental illness can be cured with romance somehow, and that’s a really bad take!

this feeds into fandom understanding that like, well, if lilian sees vincent as pure and allows him to touch her, then Obviously she’d let him kiss her, they could probably have sex, etc. and like... she’s canonically asexual though! and that brings us to the other implication, that asexuality is somehow... caused by something. like, there’s nothing in canon to state that lilian experiences sexual attraction (or even really romantic attraction, like i know etherane went off in heaven’s gate and did a lot of ship tease, but she never really outright says she’s crushing on anyone), but judging from the way etherane handled lilian’s gender identity, i have a sneaking suspicion that she established lilian’s asexuality with her mental illnesses specifically in mind. lilian’s autistic, germaphobic, has severe ocd, and she’s been sexually assaulted in the past. therefore, she must be asexual! that’s the sort of vibes i get from the game, and im not here for it. similarly to how her genderfluidity was handled, she makes no actual statement in canon that she doesn’t experience sexual attraction. the closest she’s ever come to this is when she says to anri in heaven’s gate that she is just straight up not interested in kissing (to which anri is like, “well what if it were vincent owo??” which. ugh. anyway). it just seems really strange to me to design a character with severe mental health issues with regards to physical touch and then just sort of treat it as a given that she’s asexual. it’s another example of etherane implying that lgbt identities are results of traumatic experiences or symptoms of mental illness and not an identity or lived experience. you can be sex-repulsed and not be asexual, and while i understand that many people do identify as ace due to trauma and other such things, it still feels like really bad rep when taken with the way lilian’s genderfluidity was portrayed.

PART 2: HOW “CHARLES” IS DIFFERENT FROM “LILIAN”

throughout hello charlotte, lilian identifies herself as a passive observer, someone who doesn’t directly interfere in events. this applies mostly to her existence in false realm, where she’s like... a god, and doesn’t want to interfere in the balance of the world. but i believe she also has always seen herself as an observer. in her very first scene, the one where she and anri are watching someone get bullied, she’s the one who tells anri that there’s no point in getting help. because her role is just to observe. to take pictures for anri, to be a good girl, to say yes to everything and to never express her opinions, feelings, thoughts.

and honestly, i think the main reason for that is that she’s dysphoric. whenever she talks about herself, she’s really self-deprecating, especially compared to when she talks about charlotte. i feel like the main reason why lilian detaches herself from the world and refuses to really perceive herself is because she’s fundamentally disgusted with her gender presentation. and like, we can see in the two times that she’s presented femininely (with c and in that one comic) that lili is just so much happier and more bubbly when she’s presenting as feminine. you can literally see her stop dissociating and becoming more present in the moment because she’s just. so much more comfortable in her skin. compare:

these pictures with this one:

it’s funny i was going to say that there is a picture where she’s presenting as masculine and actually smiles like a person, but guess what! she’s texting c! so she’s actually performing femininity!

but the point is, like... when she’s presenting as masculine, especially in the canon pictures rather than etherane’s art, she just doesn’t look... happy. and then we compare that to how much more present she seems when she’s presenting as feminine, and how much more comfortable she seems in being, like, happy! and cute! but there is a downside to this. and that is...

PART 3: DIFFICULTIES IN LILI’S TRANSITION

in my sort of... “main verse” for lili, i have it so that her suicide attempt failed and that she was somehow... saved from drowning. mother passes away and she starts to... soul search a little bit and find a reason to live, and somewhere along the line she starts to transition socially. that means she starts transitioning at a pretty... extremely vulnerable point in her life. in the year between 18-19 years old, she’d be a wreck. she’s growing her hair out, but she feels insecure about it. she starts to wear skirts, but only at home. she buys makeup and never wears it. it’s a long process for her, because it’s one thing to go by she/her online or to claim she’s just a gender-confused gay boy and a completely different thing to come out as a trans woman and to actually see herself as a woman and not some kind of imposter. considering that she was raised as a girl, she would have a large amount of guilt over transitioning, feeling like she’s going to be seen as confused, or that her gender identity is a direct result of her childhood trauma. but she’s not just worried that others will see her that way: she’s worried that she’s going to see herself that way.

and for a long time, she probably does see herself that way. for a long time, scarlett would probably treat her transition as some kind of attempt to personify her unborn sister and comply with perceived expectations rather than an attempt to feel comfortable in her own skin. she’d get nervous that she’s somehow becoming scarlett, because though she’s always thought it would be easier if she’d just been her sister, she’s never really wanted to be scarlett. she’d be scared to wear mid-length skirts, scared to put her hair up in a bun, probably even scared to wear red for a time, all because she’s scared of somehow losing herself and becoming her alter.

because of her caution and concern with identifying as a trans woman and not as the “safer“ gender identity of genderfluidity (where she can say she’s trans but never actually have to “push boundaries” by wearing feminine clothing or using any pronouns besides he/him), it would likely take her a very long time to take the step to medically transition. she’d likely never get any gender affirmation surgeries just because of how invasive the procedure is, but hormones would probably be something she’d look into once she’s much older and has a more stable income.

i mentioned before that before her transition, she uses dissociation and observation as a way to cope with her gender dysphoria. she saw herself as someone who didn’t really participate in the world, was a class ghost, invisible to everyone and a minuscule part of a vast universe. but upon transitioning, she’d feel much more actively self-conscious. once she starts to present in a feminine way, she’d feel like she’s being seen, like she’s actually participating in the world, and that’s both a blessing and a curse.

she’d be much more prone to stammering, especially when saying her name, and would blush far more often. she’d be afraid of saying the wrong thing or messing up somehow. and on top of that, she’d likely feel predatory for talking to others, always wondering if others find her cute or repulsive, always wondering if someone will perceive her and harm her in some way.

she’d very likely also feel really guilty about her own emotional experience. because she’s so used to being a passive observer, a puppet that only does what others want, she would feel like it’s selfish to be just... content. she’s so actively disgusted with herself before she transitions that she’s never allowed herself to be mentally present for a happy moment in her entire life. she always second-guesses, always dismisses positive things as a mere coincidence, and after she transitions, when she starts being more present in her life, she’d feel so guilty for just allowing herself to be happy.

because of that, she has some trouble with presenting as feminine consistently — she’d vary the “level” of her feminine presentation from day-to-day, where she might go full femme one day and another day stick with a beanie and a pair of slacks. she’s much more comfortable with presenting as more traditionally feminine when she’s at home or with trusted friends in a private space, but around 19 years old, she makes a vested effort to remain in public spaces. she’d time herself, saying, “for one hour, i’ll stay in this café while wearing a skirt, and then i can leave,” and she’d gradually increase the amount of time she spends in public spaces. and eventually, eventually she does end up feeling really comfortable with her gender presentation and falls into a more static sense of style. she really likes clothing design, so she ends up wearing a lot more dynamic outfits when she’s more comfortable with herself, and she probably also mildly gets into cosplay.

i also like to think that she reconnects with anri during her young adult years. either it’s like, right after her suicide attempt (i’ve written before that she’d had anri listed as her emergency contact and forgot to change it when she moved), or it’s at some point after she starts transitioning socially. i think it’d be really sweet for them to be friends in a more real way, and the sheer concept of anri teaching lili how to properly apply makeup and to set her hair is just so fucking sweet i might die. they both deserve to have friends so i think this is just a step up from hello charlotte canon.

[ramblings-of-a-mad-cat]

How do you feel about Catra, Shadow Weaver, and Hordak? I know you said you find SW interesting but like on a scale how redeemable do you think these characters are. Ive seen a lot of infighting in the fandom cause some people love one and hate another and I just figured you would approach the topic nicely

Oh damn, happy to respond! (Under the cut because I don’t know how to shut up.) 

I think I’ve seen some of the posts that you’re talking about, and my friend did tell me that there was apparently tension between Entrapdak and Catradora shippers for that very reason. Still, I should start off by saying that the only character who is probably completely irredeemable is Horde Prime. And knowing this show, they’ll find a way to humanize even him if they are so inclined. The great thing about She-Ra is that there aren’t so much heroes and villains as there are complicated people. Undertale is the same way. This might sound weird, but I legitimately hope Horde Prime does get humanized, because otherwise it’s just way too easy for all of the characters to band together and take him out for a happy ending. This show has never had a character that was pure evil before, know what I mean? 

With that in mind...let’s talk about Hordak. 

I know, I know...before Horde Prime was known to us...Hordak basically was Horde Prime. That’s the role he played in the show, and it’s not like he isn’t guilty of countless war crimes. He’s a conqueror, and yeah, conquerors should not get off scot-free. But...Hordak is also clearly an abuse victim. That doesn’t excuse him from what he’s done, but I can’t just ignore it. He was so eager to get back to Horde Prime, so determined to please him and prove himself to his “big brother.” and the moment that they’re reunited? We see what a nightmare it is for Hordak, see him get mentally violated and brain-washed. This can’t be the first time it’s happened, and yet all Hordak wanted was to return to Horde Prime. This man is so sheltered and so emotionally stunted in relationships, that I doubt he understands the full ramifications of his actions. He certainly doesn’t understand that he’s in abusive relationship. Hordak is just doing what he knows. He could learn better, if he learns to accept what a monster Horde Prime is. (But first he’ll need to break from the conditioning.)

 I genuinely like how it took Entrapta, a character who isn’t really loyal to either side, to reach out to him and help him understand how it feels for a person to care about him, and not fear him even when he tries to be intimidating. And whether or not you ship them, (I do, I admit it) Hordak clearly has feelings for her and that guides his character in Season 4. I don’t know if Adora and the others will agree to take him in...but Entrapta will remember the bond they had. I just feel so bad for this guy, even if he has killed countless innocents. My philosophy about redeeming villains is very much a pragmatic one...will Hordak’s redemption spit in the face of all his victims? Perhaps. Will it bring them back to life? No. But neither will executing him or throwing him in prison. If he can heal, if he can learn better, and do better...why should we waste that growth? Why shouldn’t he be allowed the chance to make up for what he’s done? It seems to me like there is everything to be gained, and nothing to be lost, in letting him redeem himself.

Of course, there are many types of crimes...let’s move on to Shadow Weaver.

....She’s a child abuser. Plain and simple. That is a hard pill to swallow, that is a very difficult thing for me to look past. I don’t think I can do it. The way she treated Catra, the way it’s ruined Catra and Adora’s relationship...it’s unspeakable. She manipulates Catra one last time and leaves her high and dry so she can escape and go to Bright Moon...whereupon, she starts grooming Glimmer the same way she did Micah. I know it seems silly to be more upset about child abuse than what probably amounts to genocide on Hordak’s part...but part of it is how relatable the crimes are. There’s a reason most Harry Potter fans hate Umbridge more than Voldemort. Most people don’t know a mass-murderer, and excusing a character like Hordak won’t change their perspective on murder being wrong. But plenty of people might know an abuser, and abusers thrive on a culture that blames victims and downplays the effects of abuse, or otherwise excuses those responsible. We need to get better about sending the message that abuse is real, and wrong. But the great thing about She-Ra is that it depicts the cycle, from Shadow Weaver to Catra. If Catra is redeemable, why not Shadow Weaver? 

And here’s the thing...I’m not saying she isn’t redeemable. Just that I don’t expect this show to fully redeem her, and I’m 100% behind that outcome. She could be allowed to live in peace with the other characters, her victims might forgive or at least tolerate her. (Especially if she wins over Micah again.) But even if I find her genuinely compelling...I’m not seeing too many outcomes where she would deserve this mercy. Shadow Weaver has done terrible, selfish things, and her only loyalties seem to lie with knowledge and power. She’s completely unrepentant, and while she acknowledges that she was “hard on Catra” she also refuses to apologize. Shadow Weaver strikes me very much as a kind of “no regrets” type of person. But she also has a fascination with power, and any time she sees a youngin’ with a lot of potential, (Micah, Adora) she seeks to train them. Considering how poor her record is...she needs to stop doing this. I might be inclined to forgive Shadow Weaver, if she acknowledges her own short-comings, apologizes to the people she’s hurt, and realizes that looking after children is not something she’s cut out to do.  

Finally, there’s Catra. 

In many ways, she’s my favorite character. (Though I also might go with Glimmer.) The story is largely centered around Catra’s journey alongside Adora’s...she might as well be a secondary protagonist. What’s more, she’s a character who we basically know is going to get redeemed, Noelle has all but told us that it’s going to happen. I’m fine with her getting redeemed but so help me god if she dies in the process....if any aspiring writers are reading this, please stop killing your villains to complete their redemption arcs. Let them enjoy being redeemed. Please. Anyway, where was I? Ah that’s right, Catra. There have been times that I was beyond frustrated with her because she was purposefully choosing to be “evil” as Double Trouble lampshades at the end of Season 4. By the time she opened up the Portal, after sentencing Entrapta to die, nearly dooming the entire world, causing Angela’s death, and despite it all she still blamed Adora even though she only did all of this because she wanted to beat Adora...yeah, I was really running out of patience for Catra. And even now, I can’t really bring myself to agree with the fans as they draw parallels between Catra opening the Portal and Glimmer activating the Heart of Etheria. I’m sure this was intentional, too. The echoing of two characters dooming everyone through an impulsive, reckless choice. However...as I said, Catra was pretty much going off the deep end when she opened the Portal. She just wanted to stick it to Adora. I realize I may be biased as a Glimmer stan, but Glimmer was at least trying to defeat the Horde. Her intentions, however misguided, were noble. She thought she was doing the right thing. Catra just didn’t care. 

All this, and you might think I’m Anti-Catra, that I await her inevitable redemption with gritted teeth. But that’s not true at all. Catra is a character who is her own worst enemy, and characters like that have a knack for winning my sympathy. She continues to dig herself into a deeper hole and hurts those around her in the process. Part of her journey is realizing that and presumably working to change it. This is why I love how distant she becomes from Lonnie and the others in S4. Why I love Double Trouble betraying and completely shutting her down with their monologue about her. Why I cheered louder than you can imagine at “You’re a bad friend.” Because it was such an amazing crossroads in the development of both Scorpia and Catra’s characters. To be clear, I love these moments not because I dislike Catra, but because I genuinely like her as a character, and Catra as a “good guy” is a lot of fun. I don’t know how many people remember what it was like in the first episode when Catra and Adora were still besties, but it was just generally fun. I miss that dynamic. I want Catra to learn from her mistakes. Because I rambled on about the terrible things Shadow Weaver has done, and onscreen those were primarily done to Catra. She’s a character that I am rooting for one-hundred percent. A character who is almost a deconstruction of the tired writing trope “They had a hard childhood, and now that you know that, they are redeemed.” Catra turns that on it’s head. “Promise” is one of my favorite episodes for this very reason. Few moments have gotten me as choked up as Adora saying that she thought Catra didn’t care about being Force Captain, and Catra exploding with “Well I was lying, obviously!” It was a reveal that I genuinely didn’t see coming, but it makes so much sense, and demonstrates how much Catra has sacrificed for Adora and how much that weighs on her every time she makes a villainous decision. 

TL;DR: I am one-hundred percent on board with Catra and Hordak redemption, and tentatively on board with Shadow Weaver redemption.

[thehollowprince]

Hey, it’s the “coding” anon here and honestly that answer to my question was excellent and the exact reason I come to your blog. I would absolutely love to hear you go on about the fetishization of m/m relationships!

This has been sitting in my inbox for over a week, and I want to apologize. I'm sorry for taking so long to get to this one, but I'm overworked at the moment. I've been pulling 60+ hour work weeks, by myself and I haven't had off since the first of December, so I'm a little tired. But I'm here and I'm ready to murder this bitch of a subject.

For starters, and for context, in case anyone who sees this doesn't follow my blog or, if you do and don't really pay attention, I am a gay man, so a lot of this comes from my own personal experience.

Now, onward my fandom soldiers.

M|M Fetishization & Objectification

I've only been super active within fandom spaces for the last couple of years. Before that, I just scrolled through Tumblr and reblogged gifsets and fluffy headcanons and whatnot, but even then I noticed a trend in fandoms that made me uncomfortable. That trend was the overabundance of gay men (chatacters) in fandom works, especially when there either weren't any gay men in that show or book or whatever.

I'm not at all saying we need less of that. I want and need more gay characters in the things I watch and read. That's actually one of the criteria I look for before I start a new show, or a book series or comics. I want to see myself represented in the media I consume, even if it is only this one tiny piece of who I am. But the problem for me arose when I saw all these fan works and headcanons and gifsets and thesis length metas about gay or bi male characters that were neither of those things in their original source material.

The biggest examples of this occured in fairly popular shows that I loved at one point, but do to a combination of bad writing and then the horrible fandom, drove me to actively dislike and avoid them. And that's always a sad thing, when you end up losing the love you had for something because others just won't let you enjoy it as it is.

Those two examples are Teen Wolf and Supernatural.

For years I watched people go on and on and on and on about Stiles Stilinski and Dean Winchester and how they were bisexual and so on and so forth.

There's nothing wrong with headcanoning a character as gay or bisexual, especially when those characters are severely lacking on screen and on paper. The problem arose when the fandom at large started to ignore the ACTUAL gay or bisexual characters that are in these shows and focus solely on their headcanons as the only representation in the show.

To start with Teen Wolf, we had, in the first season, an openly gay character that everybody in the school loved, that being Danny Mahealani. This character was introduced as gay from the very start, but oddly enough, there is almost no large fandom meta or fics or anything about him. In fact, a lot of his traits and qualities ended up transferred to Stiles, such as his intelligence and overall popularity. Hell, even Danny's attraction to Derek was stolen and transferred to him. These aren't things that Stiles is overall known for in the actual canon. He's clumsy and socially awkward and on the outskirts of the school like Scott (the main character) and has been obsessed (to the point of being considered a stalker) with one girl since elementary school, but somehow, in fandom, Stiles is suddenly the genius polyglot queer with severe depression who has a crush on the broody muscular werewolf who just wants somebody to love him.

Fandom created this portrayal of the character that didn't exist anywhere in the fandom except for his appearance. The reason I saw behind this was twofold. 1: fangirls (fandom is mostly female) want to see two "hot" guys kiss and get it on because they get off to it, much in the same way that straight men get off to lesbian porn. 2: Stiles (or any of these headcanoned characters) becomes a sort of self insert.

What I mean by that second one is that women and girls find a male character that's not "too masculine", usually kind of gangly or skinny, somewhat on the effeminate side. Someone that they can project their ideas and insecurities and so forth onto so that they can that pursue that relationship with the hunky manly man that they want to bang.

You may be asking yourself, "Why don't they just use one of the female characters as a self insert?" and I'm here to tell you that I have neither the time nor the experience to go into detail about internalized misogyny and how effects the way women do almost everything, even watching and interpreting their media.

But the reason they chose the male character is that, years ago, during the dark days of FF.net there was a lot of self insert OCs that infiltrated almost every level of fanfiction. Which caused the fandom gatekeepers to rear out of their hibernation and just shame anyone who tried to introduce an Original Character to this already beautiful world and ruin it with their lusts. Thus the OCs slowly disappeared and identifying with the male sidekick was born. And this is generally where we get the whole "my smol gay son!" bullshit. (side note: please keep in mind that 75% of shows are male characters and their problems, which is another cause for female fans to identify solely with men.)

So, for years, I watched Danny, and then his boyfriend Ethan, being shoved aside in fandom spaces so that the fans could focus Sterek (Stiles and Derek) despite the fact that both characters were stared to be heterosexual and that, on screen, they expressed nothing but mutual dislike for one another, if not outright hatred. This got so bad that Sterek, the crack ship whose members had no romantic or sexual interactions whatsoever, managed to beat (by a very large margin) actual gay ships from both this show and others in a fan poll. It got even worse when the character of Danny was written off the show (with no explanation) and we were introduced to the character of Mason.

Mason Hewitt was everything that fandom!Stiles was. He was smart and funny and openly gay and crushing on a hot werewolf. He even did the research that the fandom loved to attribute to Stiles, literally everything that the fandom had Stiles doing in fanon, but somehow the love for him (Mason) wasn't that big of a note in the fandom. I mean, Mason was even a major plot point of season five and the pack's mission to stop the Beast, but i heard nothing but cricket chirps from the fandom.

You'd think that after Stiles was written out of the show for the last season that maybe Mason will get some love now, right?

Wrong!

I didn't think it was possible to get any worse, but the fandom proved me wrong. Because instead of focusing all their pent up energy on Mason and his boyfriend, Corey, who had a number of cute moments in that final season, these fans focused on another crack ship that had no basis anywhere except in their fantasies. That ship being Thiam, which is based, once again, around two characters who actively dislike, if not outright hate, each other and even physically assault one another. But no, that apparently is a display of affection by someone who is emotionally stunted and just needs love to blossom and be his true self.

You notice how often the fetishization of homosexuality (even if only imagined) intersects with woobification?

You'll notice, if you look at Danny and Mason, that they're both POC, with Danny being brown (Hawai'ian) and Mason being black. Now, as I've said before on this blog multiple times, I am the Whittest White Man to ever White, so I don't have any qualifications to talk about fandom racism, so I'm just going to leave that little nugget there for you to think about and interpret how you will.

Moving on to Supernatural...

Before we start with this one, understand that I have not watched this show outside of an episode here and there since season eight, because I realized that no, this show wasn't going to get any better, so if any of this is contradictory to what has happened over the past six seasons (god, this show needs to die!) I do apologize.

Dean Winchester... I never really liked this character, especially as the show went on and I started to actively dislike and then, hate him. So it was annoying not being able to go into any aspect of the Supernatural fandom without coming across a post about Dean and his issues or his Bi sexiness or how his brother was mean to him.

Also, people, understand that this wasn't a new revelation for me. My dislike for Dean and the fandom's obsession with making him bisexual just so they could hook him up with Cas wasn't an overnight decision. I was there...

I was there at the Beginning, when this show first aired, when the ONLY constant characters on this show were Sam and Dean. I endured the hellfire that was Wincest and its infection of almost the entire fandom. Like, that right there, that was one of the most extreme cases of m|m fetishization I've ever seen, because the fandom needed to get off to two guys being together so badly that they turned to actual brothers for want of any other male character.

That's why Destiel immediately became so popular, because here was another guy that we saw with semi regularity that wasn't rated to the Winchesters, obviously they were meant to ship them.

Now, you may be asking yourself, "I thought this bitch was going to talk about gay fetishization, not his dislike for one character?" to which I'll just say I very easily go off tangent. But all of that is relevant because, come one of these later seasons, there was a scene where Dean was at a bar and the (male) bartender hit on him, and he didn't react negatively or homophobic.

Oh, my God, I watched my dash and the tags explode in post after post, meta after meta, about how Bi Dean was canon confirmed! Now he and Cas will HAVE to be together, because its canon that Dean likes guys. and Cas is an angel, who doesn't follow human sexual limitations, and... blah, blah, blah.

Cut to a few years later, and we're introduced to a character named Max Banes, a witch and hunter, who is openly gay and flirts with Sam in his first appearance. Where were all of his metas and fanfics and headcanons? Granted, he only appeared in two episodes, but I have watched people in this and other fandoms build mountains our of molehills, going on and on about how two male characters weren't actually straight and how they were destined to be together because the once wore similar style shirts a couple of seasons apart, or because of a carnation in a jacket pocket that signified love via the Victorian flower code (or something like that), or how the wallpaper of that room they shared a scene in was a subtle clue to their true desire for each other, etc.

And I'm not exaggerating there, those are actual examples I've seen in fandoms over the years.

But back to Max, why is it that he was left along the wayside, despite fitting most of the criteria that fandoms love in their m|m ships while Dean had entire thesis level posts about that time he shared a glance with Castiel or he let a bartender hit on him and not get upset?

And its not just these two shows, not by a long shot. If you were to go into literally any fandom of a certain size or bigger, you will come across fans putting two straight characters together because of "the chemistry" they have. Even if those characters are confirmed to be straight - especially if those characters are confirmed to be straight. Because when these loud fans don't get their crack ship that they rub one out to, they scream queerbaiting and homophobia and oppression, harassing the actors and producers and directors and writers.

Here are some others that just pop to the front of my mind...

Asher Millstone from How To Get Away With Murder (saw him shipped with Connor a lot, despite Connor's actual boyfriend)

Sherlock Holmes and John Watson from BBC's Sherlock

Tony Stark from Marvel comics (all because of one panel where he said "ladies and gents" when he announced he was off the market

Literally any male character in the MCU, which is his we get the things like Stucky and Stony that permeate the fandom on almost every level (and some leeway is given here because of the MCU's lack of wueer characters)

Klaus Mikaelson and Stefan Salvatore from The Vampire Diaries/The Originals (honestly, I was surprised that people in the TVD fandom weren't immediately all over Josh and Lucas, because they're literally everything that fans want and use in their headcanon gays)

Kol Mikaelson and Jeremg Gilbert, also from TVD

Elia and Filippo from Skam Italia (despite there being, once again, actual gay characters on this show. Hell, the entire second season was dedicated to a character coming out of the closet and being with a guy)

Etc.

I could go on and on but then this post would seem infinite.

Closing thoughts, please keep in mind that I am just one guy and that my opinions don't represent everyone in fandom spaces. But also bear in mind, that my frustrations are well founded and valid from my own experiences in the fandom.

My sexuality and the fact that I'm attracted to men is not a toy for a bunch of sexually repressed fangirls who think two guys being together is hot.

[citrinesunset]

Dark Phoenix thoughts

I saw Dark Phoenix! I wasn’t sure if/when I was going to get a chance, but I managed it. And have some spoiler-y thoughts.

Overall, I thought it was pretty good. There were some things that I think could have been done better, but it came together better than I feared it would considering the reshoots and the fact that I question how invested Fox was in the franchise at this point.

I will say I’m sad to see the franchise ending. I only got into this fandom a couple years ago, and am sad that I missed a lot of its heyday. So I’m definitely not ready for the possibility of activity dying down, and I hope that doesn’t happen for a while yet. I’ve also really enjoyed this series, and am not sure whether I’ll be as into a rebooted series or not.

Anyway, my thoughts are a little jumbled and I probably haven’t processed the movie much, but....

Things I enjoyed/mostly enjoyed

- Charles’ 1975 hair. Yes, this is shallow, but I have tried to imagine what his hair looked like after DoFP, when he presumably still had it long but hopefully washed it more, and now I have an answer.

- I really liked the musical score.

- I really liked a lot of Charles’ scenes with young Jean. Charles as a teacher/mentor to young people has always been one of my favorite parts of him.

- I’ve enjoyed how Sophie Turner plays Jean. I thought her interpretation was interesting back in Apocalypse, and I think she did a good job here. I like this version of Jean a lot.

- Raven in the alternate timeline movies has been kind of hit or miss for me, but I thought her connection to Jean in this movie worked great. She was the perfect character to express concerns about how Charles had treated Jean, and I feel like the framework of setting her up as a mentor figure and hero in Apocalypse helps a lot in Dark Phoenix.

- I liked the interpretation of Genosha, and am curious about how and when it got started. I like to imagine it was a compromise reached after Apocalypse, and that the government was like, “Well, we can’t ignore that this guy is a terrorist who threatened to assassinate the president on live television, even if it was Nixon. But he apparently helped defeat this Apocalypse guy, and if we arrest him now it might look bad. Maybe if we give him some land, he’ll go away.” That said, Genosha did look very small. How many mutants could really live there?

- I really liked Jean going to Erik for help. I also found Erik ultimately defending and protecting the human military guys from her attack interesting. That’s not something Erik would have cared much about in the past, I don’t think, and it speaks to him becoming more moderate over time or perhaps valuing the peace that he’s been able to create on Genosha.

- I love the hints of concern that Erik shows about Charles and his team. First asking Jean whose blood is on her shirt, and then the anticipatory look on his face when he sees the jet. I think he was expecting Charles when he saw the plane.

- The first appearance of the Magneto helmet made me happy, because of course. Though, I’m kind of amused by all the different versions of that helmet Erik has had. Does he make them himself? Does he decorate and customize them?

- So...I don’t think Erik pulling up the subway train and pulling it behind him made much sense, but I am 100% here for Erik making needlessly grandiose gestures because it looks cool, because that is very on-brand.

- I liked the parallel between Jean assisting Charles telepathically when he was unconscious at the end of Apocalypse and Charles connecting with her and encouraging her when she was unconscious.

- The phoenix effects were great.

- I liked the conclusion Jean got, and that while she still sacrificed herself, it felt like an active, strategic choice on her part. And I liked that it ended on an ambiguously hopeful note for her. I also like that this movie, while it did address things like Charles lying to her, did have the Phoenix Force be an external entity as well (as opposed to just a part of her own personality like Last Stand did).

- I love it when Erik offers chess as an ice breaker (it was a nice callback to DofP), and I absolutely loved his final scene with Charles.

Things I didn’t care for

- I wish the relationships between some of the characters had been fleshed out a little more. I felt this movie did a great job overall of centering things on Jean, but so much of Jean’s conflict depended on her relationships to other characters, and I would have liked to see the stakes raised more by seeing more of her relationship with Scott and her friendships with the other team members. Also, were Hank and Raven supposed to have been in a relationship at this point, or were they teammates with a side of pining? Because I feel like it could have been read either way, and I think that context is important.

- I didn’t buy that Raven’s death would be enough to motivate Erik to kill Jean, especially after telling Jean about how killing and vengeance had never brought him peace. I can fully believe that Erik liked and respected Raven a lot, but most of the interaction we’ve seen between them in the alternate timeline films involved things like him turning down her advances and trying to kill her for the greater good. It’s not like they had a great love story or even seemed to spend much time together. 

- The Mystique makeup looks really bad compared to what it used to look like. The first time I saw Raven in one of the trailers, I thought it looked like good but not professional-level cosplay, or like she was Mystique’s cousin from some  direct-to-DVD spin-off movie. I can understand why Jennifer Lawrence may have disliked the time and work that went into the more detailed makeup from earlier movies, and if there were health/safety/comfort considerations, I respect that. But it was a really noticeable difference that made it seem like they didn’t make much effort.

- Quicksilver being awkwardly sidelined was annoying and obvious, and dammit, I wanted Erik to find out he has a son. Also, we didn’t get to find out what music Peter likes these days!

- I didn’t like what I saw as an implication at the end that Charles had retired because he failed. But more on that below...

Things that can’t be easily classified one way or another

- I was really on-board with the idea of this movie exploring Charles’ flaws and hubris, but I’m not sure how I feel about the way this was approached. I found the idea that mutants were cautiously accepted but on very conditional terms interesting, as well as Charles’ awareness that he was being strategic in order to hold onto that public support. And I thought that him lying to Jean because he felt it was best, but ultimately realizing that he was wrong and accepting responsibility for that, felt in-character. But I also didn’t feel like the movie really explored the link between Charles lying and Jean going Dark Phoenix, and on the surface, those two things didn’t feel very related. You could argue that without the emotional shock of learning that her father was alive, Jean might have remained on a more even keel while they figured out what was going on, but I think it would have made more sense if Charles had messed with Jean’s powers in a way that affected her ability to keep control after becoming Phoenix (and if he had, that wasn’t clear to me). But I feel like that would have conflicted with his encouragement of Jean unleashing her power in Apocalypse. I think Charles was right to accept some responsibility, but I would have liked to have seen more reconciliation between him and the other characters and would have liked to see more of his reasoning for retiring.

- I didn’t find the aliens all that interesting, but I didn’t really mind that. I felt they served a purpose by providing some external conflict and helping explain what the Phoenix Force was, but they didn’t distract from the meat of the story about Jean too much. I felt it was a better approach than Last Stand, where they tried to use too many storylines that did deserve to be fleshed out more.

- I found it interesting that Hank can apparently switch to Beast form on command now at a second’s notice. I wonder if he can change back on command, too.

Shippy thoughts

My top X-Men ships are Charles/Hank, Charles/Erik, Erik/Hank, and Jean/Erik, roughly in that order.

- I was hoping for more Charles/Hank fodder than there was. I loved the early scene of them watching the news together, but they get very little screentime otherwise, and their fight didn’t give me as many C/H feelings as I was hoping it would. I also don’t like knowing if they ended things on good terms or not.

- The last scene between Charles and Erik is shippy and glorious. Chess as a flirtation device! Smiles! A kind of proposal! 10/10

- I am always on-board with an angsty, unlikely team-up between Hank and Erik, but the movie didn’t deliver on this front as much as I was hoping.

- Jean going to Erik was certainly satisfying, and I can’t be disappointed even if she didn’t stay long. I’m sure I’ll be able to come up with fic scenarios based on it all the same.