#only 4 ish hours until i get to eat

[sohighsohaii]

APCA: A dip in the pool: Kwon Eunbi

TW!: Foodplay(kinda), degradation, Self degradation, Sexual Exploitation

Series Masterlist

1.6k ish words

A/N: A little bit of WorldBuilding, not much smut

"Sir, Please clear out your pockets and put your hands up. Privacy is of utmost importance as I believe you know."

You shot the man a small smile, looking up at his imposing figure as you complied.

After clearing out your pockets, the man begun a frisk search, eyebrow creasing as he ran his hand over your ankle.

"A camera sir? Were you not informed of the protocols here?" The man glared at you, and you were forced to think on your feet.

"Can you blame me? If the rumours I've heard are true, I want to remember this day forever." 

The man seemingly bought your explanation, ushering you to the door.

"Don't pull this stunt again, anyways if you leave a good impression on the boss today, you won't need the pictures." The man rather roughly pushed you into the room, causing you to stumble, seeing a man at the table, eating off the naked form of a busty woman, her vision obscured by a red silk blindfold, and a vibrator jammed in her pussy, her wonton moans filling the halls.

Ignoring the rather distracting sight, you try to mask your apprehension, and frankly, disgust, with a smile, approaching the man.

"Ah, Mr Aeris, I'm glad I finally get to meet you after all this time."

Looking up, Aeris gave you a smile, approaching you and throwing you into a hug. Okay, that was surprising, you didn't peg Sex ring bosses as rather friendly people, but good, this could work in your favour.

"Ah, my brother, good to finally meet you." He said with a jovial tone.

"I assume you're acquainted with part of our entertainment today?" He gestured to the woman

You nodded, as one would expect. Even if you hadn't done your homework on potential idols Aeris had under his "umbrella", it would be shameful to call yourself a Wizone if you couldn't identify Kwon Eunbi, even if the state she was in at the moment was not one you were used to.

"Watch this."  Aeris said with a playful grin, turning the vibrator to it's max power, immediately causing Eunbi's body to buckle and her moans intensify, her body thrashing against the sudden increase in pleasure, sending food flying all about her.

Even though you detested this, you couldn't deny that this sight was an arousing one, her body thrashing against her bonds, her tits jiggling wildly as you admired her toned body coated with sweat and cum.

Smiling, Aeris quickly removed the vibrator, removing Eunbi's bonds, causing her to fall to the ground.

Aeris sent you a quick wink, before his face morphed into one of faux anger, ripping Eunbi's blindfold.

"You dumb whore! Look at what happened to my food. Kneel, Now!" He screamed, as Eunbi's eyes widened in fear, quickly kneeling in front of Aeris, her tits heaving up and down as she tried to catch her breath.

"You need to be punished, maybe 4 hours in the Playroom will teach you." You saw as Eunbi's eyes widened and teared up, in evident fear.

"No, please! Master! I'll do anything, this dumb whore knows her worthlessness and will not make a mistake again, please do not punish her!" She immediately leaned forward, hugging Aeris' leg.

Aeris quickly kicked his leg out, sending Eunbi tumbling to the floor.

"You disgusting bitch. Fine, I'm in a good mood today, go get yourself cleaned up, go to room 3 in the red set, then lock the room. Use the vibrator until someone comes in, but don't you dare cum. If you do, I'll make sure you spend so much time in the Playroom you forget your own fucking name." Aeris commanded, as Eunbi looked at the two of you in confusion, only now realising you were in the room.

"Someone, sir? You're not going to be playing with me today?" You could sense the fear in her tone as she looked at you. Better the devil you know then the devil you don't

"You're here to do what I want, not ask questions, now go!" Aeris shouted as Eunbi fearfully nodded, getting up and running off.

Once Eunbi was out of earshot, Aeris' angry facade was dropped, beginning to giggle.

"I like to see them squirm. But then again, I'm sure you know all about making these dumb bitches squirm, don't you? I've heard all about you."

You smiled, nodding, glad your informants and underworld contacts were doing their job.

"I've heard you've broken in the most stubborn and resistant women into willing and obedient sexpets. I have to hand it to you." Aeris said as he led you to the couch.

"Well, those bitches were nobodies, not these high and mighty Kpop idols you've domesticated."

"Oh please, I'm small fish, I'm only stuck to having the smaller soloist or smaller groups. At least I can have some of my Iz*one girls, but god, I want to get my hands on Lisa that Thai slut and have my way with her." Aeris licked his lips

"How do you do it though? I thought these idols would just run away and blow the whistle on you and your little pond." You played coy, trying to figure out as much as you could on the ring.

"Well, idol distribution is a little complicated, which is why I brought you in, but to answer your question, we have enough on these idols to have them under our thumbs. Their companies sell their poor performing groups to us, allowing us to dictate their comeback schedules, their accommodations, whatever, effectively making them into ours. Sometimes the idols are compliant, sometimes, not so much. It's a little harder for better companies or bigger groups, but they all break, eventually." Aegis sipped on his glass of wine as he hummed a tune soon after.

"So, why do you need me?"

"We'll get to that later. While your reputation speaks for itself, I still need a proof of concept." Aeris reached into a brown folder, throwing it onto the table. As he sipped his wine, he smirked, beckoning you to open the file.

Among the papers inside the file was a picture of 5 women, all naked and visibly agitated, staring at the camera while they had collars and leashes on their necks.

"Itzy?" You asked, looking through the papers.

"Yes. I need them broken, submissive. It's all part of a grander scheme, and I'm not great at breaking people in, but if you do this, I promise you that you and I, will rise to the top of the ring, and we can have whatever idol we want as our playthings and sexpets." Aeris said excitedly.

"I'll, uhh, get to it." You said, getting up, noting the address of the warehouse, before turning to the exit.

"Wait, bro, you didn't think I was gonna stiff you was I? As a mark to the endless possibilities of our new partnership, I have a gift for you." He said, dangling a key from his finger, a 3 engraved into the handle.

"Have fun, her tits are heaven on earth. Don't worry though, the room is soundproof and there aren't cameras inside, but don't tell Eunbi that, of course. Brad will escort you out after you have fun with Eunbi. Well for now, I have to excuse myself, but I look forward to Yeji's tongue nestled in my asshole." He said, laughing obnoxiously before walking off.

Seeing Brad stare at you, you knew that you didn't have a choice, you had to at least go to the room. With a sigh, you walk to the room, using the key to unlock the room, to a sight most men would kill for.

In the room, Kwon Eunbi was on a bed, body clad in a skimpy red lingerie, her legs spread apart as she held the vibrator to her clit, unable to contain her moans as her other hand massaged her tits.

Hearing the door open, Eunbi immediately jolted up, running to the floor as she fell to her knees, lowering her head all the while she held the vibrator to her pussy like a good pet. It hurt you to see the proud and powerful leader of the group you loved lowered to this state.

"How ma-oh-... How may I service you sir?" Eunbi barely managed to moan out.

Knowing the door was still open, you decided to do a little song and dance for Brad.

"Stand up bitch, and hands behind your head. Present yourself to me." You shouted out as you moved to close the door.

Once the door was close, you quickly locked it, and your expression lightened a little.

"It's okay now Eunbi, relax, it's fine." You say, as Eunbi looked at you, a mix of confusion, terror, and arousal.

"No sir, I cannot, I'm here for your pleasure and your pleasure only. What I want is unimportant." Eunbi said, her eyes devoid of any life.

"No, Eunbi, I promise, I'm not a bad person, I'm a cop and I'm here to save you." You said, and for the first time since you saw her today, you saw Eunbi's eyes light up, though it quickly got extinguished.

"There's no way, the company..." Eunbi choked up, beginning to cry

"We're taking the whole ring down Eunbi, you won't be bound by your contract, and these monsters, all of them will see a jail cell. I promise you." You assure her as you sit her down.

"Can we go now?" Eunbi whispered, clearly the effects of being in this hellscape wearing down on her.

"I...I'm sorry Eunbi, not today. Not that soon too... I need to infiltrate the organisation, get to the top of it, then I can bring this whole thing down." You whisper, causing Eunbi to lower her head.

"Soon, alright? Please." Eunbi's voice was laced with a desperation, and she gently pulled you in, placing a light kiss on your cheek.

"I'll be waiting for you."

[im-yn-suckers]

virgin mary?

delinquent niki x student reader

warnings-high school bullies, mention of inappropriate things (sex, lingerie, gangs,) underage drinking, and crying

you were a good student, good grades, good looks, and you were a virgin, surprise. you were known for not having any bodies, while the people bullied you, well, weren't virgins. you dressed much more modestly than the others, who wore tube tops and shorts that exposed their behind.

but why?

oh, the reason in simple. you were bullied for your body, nothing was wrong with it, it was beautiful, but Yuna and her gang gaslighted you into thinking you were ugly when you were freshmen. it went from wearing crop tops and short ish skirts to jeans and long sleeved tops that covered your entire body. up until senior year.

now niki was a trouble maker but only sometimes. in school, he was a straight A student and got in trouble often but not enough that he got suspended or expelled. one day, he got called to the principals office

'so, the janitors found this in your locker last night. Yunho said you and some others were drinking after school hours' he placed 4 beer bottles on his desk and sighed. 'you wont be suspended or expelled, but you have to clean between classes and tutor on saturday mornings at 8 am here at school.' he scoffed at the principal and left.

saturday morning comes and the bus picks him up, ten minutes later, you get on the bus. he watched in admiration as you picked up a book. he talks to you and you become friends.

over time, you trust him more and you know he wont pressure you to anything. one day at lunch, Yuna's friend, Yujin, talks to you/

'you know, youd be so much prettier if you bought makeup, but in he nicest way possible. youre just so cute and.... innocent. eat lunch with me!'

she grabbed your wrist, forcing you to follow. you get there and everyone stares at you, gasping and whispering. Haechan and Minji are making out, like always and they come up to you, staring.

you look at the paper in Yujins hand and tear fill your eyes. they edited a picture of you. they cut out the face of a lingerie model, wearing a hot pink set of lingerie, posing in a way that shows her cleavage and behind, replacing it with yours.

the picture said 'virgin mary? maybe not!' you backed up and ran, bumping into nikis chest as he pulls you into a hug.

'hey, hey, shh its okay im here' he reassures you its alright without even knowing whats happening. he walks to Yujin and snatches the paper.

'no wonder you guys have been so close these days, youve got little virgin mary give it up to you and send you nude photos.' Haechan scoffs and goes back to making out with his girlfriend.

niki punches him in the face and runs away with you, taking you to his car.

'hey, hey, look, its okay. theyre just a bunch of shitheads who are insecure'

you sobbed into his shoulder and he placed a kiss on your forehead.

'i love you, riki' you let out a sob almost immediately.

'i love you too'

a few moments of silence go by and he speaks up

'hey, theres stil three hours until we go home, wanna drive around?'

you nod slowly and get in the car. you drive around the neighborhood and get some lunch, due to not being able to eat because of the whole fiasco.

he confesses his true feelings, not daring to make eye contact. you reciprocate and kiss him, cleaning up your food. he drove you home and you flopped on you bed thinking, 'the worst and best day of my life'

[itsaspectrumcomic]

On anon bc identifiable info - advice/thoughts? - This is really long, I'm sorry D: I'm a rambler and all the info is important (to me)

I've always had problems with stuff (according to my mom, "things have always been harder for [me] than everyone else") like I'm always the last one out the door, I lose things a lot (like hats and pencils and water bottles) because I set them down and don't realize, I have a lot of trouble doing textbook homework/notes bc I have trouble focusing

And I have a lot of trouble with social stuff, I never have a lot of friends, I can't keep friends for more than like four years, I feel really disconnected with people and people generally initially like me but like me significantly less after interacting with me a bit

I read a lot, and when I was a kid I would lose all sense of reality outside the book until someone touched me or I finished the book, but I've had a harder and harder time reading anything but fanfic as I've gotten older, and I have a lot of trouble reading very technical/instructions/nonfiction stuff

I have pretty bad insomnia, and spent ~2 years when I was 10-13 ish sleeping ~3-4 hrs/night weekdays and ~12 hrs/night weekends, I have a really hard time getting to sleep specifically - and (tmi maybe tw eating) I've had chronic minor eating issues and constipation (chronic minor dehydration, losing ~ 10 lbs over summers from not eating, etc. like I'm not dying or anything but this will probably eventually cause wear damage)

---

But I'm also a very good student, very smart, generally very good at what I choose to do, I just became a National Merit semifinalist, like, I'm doing "fine". I'm not dying, I'm not failing classes or anything, I've struggled since second semester year before last with getting things done, but I have like a 3.7 gpa rn (I could have a 4 if I tried harder (while I am capable of trying harder, it would destroy me))

I was in Gifted + Talented in elementary school, I'm an honors/ap student (my G+T teacher told my mom that the "gifted" basically means "neurodivergent")

---

I didn't get help for anything until last year, when I kinda fell off (as much as you can fall off while getting a 3.7 gpa ig) and got assessed for insomnia, which I got help with pretty easily (apart for waiting times) which was amazing. Almost went too well iykwim

And I was looking into why I was having such a hard time with everything (social, focus, sleep, schoolwork,etc) and I resonated a lot with autism and some of the feeling very disconnected from society/ other people but I was like eeeh, I'm a teen and idk I'm not, like, having it that bad, so I was looking into more quantitative solid stuff and I took the AQ + CAT-Q + stuff which still have very subjective questions but I tried to be honest and I got 32 (AQ) and 139 (CAT-Q) and 157 (RAADS-R) but like idk I could be biased or misunderstanding or idk

I mentioned feeling like I had more, underlying issues to the doctor I'm seeing for the insomnia and she was basically like "I work with autistic kids - you're not autistic" which like on one hand, you're the expert and I've only really interacted with the internet so idk but on the other, you've spent all of two hours with me, mostly asking me direct questions about my sleep or talking to my mother, like, ofc you haven't seen anything of me. Did I make too much fake eye contact with you?? (BTW if you dislike eye contact for any reason, which I always have, look at noses (my mother taught me this one) or hair (my personal fav) bc it looks like you're looking at the face, but you aren't!!)

this is getting very long winded, I'm sorry if you choose to read all this but thank you it means a lot to me to get someone who knows something's thoughts on this

So I was like "I am having other problems" and she was like "I suspect you may have inattentive type adhd" and I was initially like what?? but I'm not hyperactive. Can't have adhd. What. But I've been kinda thinking about it and lurking at the edge of adhd communities and googling stuff (google is not helpful) and maybe? idk

SO to get to my point/question

I'm very smart. (not tryna be conceited it's just I am) I'm not currently *dying* struggling, though I am having trouble staying on top of classwork

I'm a girl

I live in the USA

I'm pretty good at acting normal, I have a couple friends (one has diagnosed adhd, one has diagnosed autism, one I'm not sure, one I think? could be neurotypical? but she's also like really not idk) (I (only?) have four friends (which is a lot, for me))

I don't know if I'm "adhd enough" (or "autistic enough" if I was right initially) ((or both idk)) to get a diagnosis. I have hypermobility that causes issues with my joints and has led to me not exercising enough and having to quit violin but I'm not hypermobile "enough" to get a diagnosis or help for it (which sucks because it's literally affecting my quality of life, like, I could be an amazing musician if I didn't have this. D: )

If I try, will I get a diagnosis, or will I be "adhd, but not enough"? Should I continue to spend (my parent's insurance) money on this if it probably won't go anywhere? I'm currently 17, starting my senior year of high school. Will things get disrupted in transition to college? If I go abroad for college?

Also, will I crash and burn in college without my mother's considerable support? (tw eating again) I have always had a really hard time getting and preparing and eating food, and without her/structure idk how much I will eat. I loose weight over the summer bc we don't eat as a family much. when I'm on my own, will I struggle even more? Especially trying to juggle food and school and living independently? What about after college? My uncle was fine until he graduated college and now he's alone and a misogynist and mormon and lives with my grandma and seems kinda really miserable except way more hate-filled - am I doomed to the same path?

anyways this is really dark I'm sorry

specific questions for you are:

should I pursue ADHD diagnosis? Autism?

is there anything specific I should mention/not mention/think about?

is there anything you think I (+ people in similar situations) should research, any specific sites/books/communities you think would be valuable?

would therapy help with anything? social, focus, etc. (I have not had a chance, and I have been noncommittal at mentions bc. i strongly dislike people, and talking to people, and emotions ): )

are things in general going to get better, or worse? please be honest, not reassuring

If you decide to answer this, partially or completely, thank you, it means a lot to me to get someone else's thoughts on this, if not, I completely understand, either way, I hope you have a good day :)

Hello! A lot of what you wrote feels very familiar to my own experience - I was also considered a good student but found things increasingly difficult to cope with, struggled socially, lost and forgot stuff, couldn't focus etc. You're definitely not alone in feeling this way!

You are not doomed and you are not your uncle. Things can always get better, even when you're at your lowest. You never know what will happen next - you could make a friend, you could discover a new passion, you could be offered a cool opportunity, you could get the chance to pet a really friendly dog. Life isn't a straight line - you might be struggling for a bit, and then some nice stuff will happen, and then you might go through a rough patch again, but then things will improve again and you might feel better than you did before.

For eating when you go to college - identify the foods you generally find easy to make and eat and make sure you have a supply avaliable for when you're struggling. For me, that's pasta (you can get dry pasta which lasts ages in the cupboard, but you could also try fresh ravioli which has stuff inside like spinach or tomato or cheese so it's a bit more varied), crackers, bananas, and breakfast bars. That way if you can't make a proper meal, you at least eat something. Also try to carry a water bottle with you everywhere (if you struggle to drink water you could try flavoured water or juice.) If you forget about needing to eat you could set alarms to remind yourself.

Side note: did you know that hypermobility and autism very often occur together?

Onto your questions:

should I pursue ADHD diagnosis? Autism?

It's definitely worth looking into - I can't guarantee you'll get a diagnosis because it really depends on the person/people assessing you and some are more biased than others (if you're able to choose, look for people who say they specialise in diagnosing women and girls or have positive reviews from people in that demographic). Personally I found it helped a lot with getting accommodations, people understanding me, and understanding myself (even before the diagnosis was official). I will say it's usually quite a long process so be prepared for that.

Btw, you can definitely have ADHD without being hyperactive - that's the inattentive type which is more about trouble focusing.

is there anything specific I should mention/not mention/think about?

Honestly a lot of what you've written will probably come up in an assessment! I had to fill out a form with info about my experiences as a child and the traits I have now, as did my mum. If you're high masking (basically when you try to act 'normal' and hide your neurodivergent traits) do your best not to mask so the assessor gets to see you as you really are.

is there anything you think I (+ people in similar situations) should research, any specific sites/books/communities you think would be valuable?

Untypical by Pete Wharmby is an excellent book if you want to learn more about autistic experiences. The author is autistic himself and has an engaging writing style.

How to ADHD is a YouTube channel that focuses on coping techiques for ADHD and is informative as well.

I've found the autism communities on Reddit to be welcoming and supportive - you might like r/AutismInWomen which is inclusive and accepting of self diagnosis and those who are questioning.

You could also follow some of these people on instagram:

morgaanfoley - posts about her experiences as an autistic person

_ellawillis - posts about autism and ADHD and their daily life

candy.courn - posts about autism and disability as well as how that intersects with their experience as an asian person. Also has the most beautifully pink house

colourblind_zebra - makes cute and colourful art about chronic illness and neurodiversity

elliemidds - posts about autism and adhd and runs a community called We are Unmasked (weareumasked on insta)

itsemilykaty - posts about autism, mental health, and her book Girl Unmasked (which I haven't read yet but is supposed to be very good!)

Side note: I also have an instagram if you'd like to follow :) I'm itsaspectrumcomic there as well!

would therapy help with anything? social, focus, etc. (I have not had a chance, and I have been noncommittal at mentions bc. i strongly dislike people, and talking to people, and emotions ): )

Therapy can help a lot - with the right therapist! Look for people who specialise in neurodivergence, particularly in girls. The best ones are on the spectrum themselves :) It's OK if you don't click with the first one you try. You can 'shop around' until you find someone you're comfortable with (which I know can be exhausting but it's worth it when you find the right one).

are things in general going to get better, or worse? please be honest, not reassuring

Like I said before, things will get better, and then you might struggle for a while, and then things get better again. It comes in waves, at least for me. I know when you're having a hard time it can feel like it's going to last forever, but I promise it won't. There are always bright spots.

[vampzteeth]

Carlos de Vil meeting a past childhood friend that he kinda abandoned when he and the core 4 went to Auradon? His friend is now kinda bitter and cold towards him...never getting over how he never even said a proper goodbye or tried to visit.. (there were also some pining so, tension maybe?)

Oh finally angst I love you so much

Give up, Please. | Descendants

Warnings: angst and apathy

When you and Carlos were kids you were inseparable. Everyone knew that. Of course, that lasted only until Carlos and the rest of the group were invited to Auradon. You were the only one not invited to the prestigious school on the mainland, none of you were given a choice. Those who were invited had to go, and those who weren't had to stay on the isle, alone.

Just a couple-ish years later they extended an invitation to you, though it acts more as a bitter reminder than anything. All you wanted was to say no, but once again you had no choice. Just looking at the piece of paper left a sour taste in your mouth.

After a two hour drive, you finally go through the gates of Auradon Prep. Thinking back to when you and Carlos were a duo, you would've been thrilled to get your own invitation so you could see him again. But now you dread the idea of seeing any of your former friends. What if they've become more successful than you will ever be? What if they forgot about you, and replaced the empty spot with some princess girl?

Your thoughts are interrupted by the driver handing you your single bag of luggage, then pointing to your tour guide. For a second you don't recognize him, but sadly you can never forget that smile. Carlos. Damnit. Swallowing down your worries, you nod in greeting, saying nothing to the boy. I mean, what're you supposed to say to your former best friend (and crush) who abandoned you?

After a nearly silent tour, Carlos turns to you worriedly, as if finally being fed up with your coldness towards him. Those dumb puppy dog eyes always got to you, obviously they still do. "I really missed you." is all he says to you at first, not directly acknowledging what happened.

"Yeah." Great response. Perfect, actually. Luckily, it's the end of the tour, and you're at your dorm. "Thanks for showing me around, Carlos." No nickname or anything, just straight to the point.

His heart hurts hearing your tone, guilt eating him up inside. He thought you would be so happy to see him after so long, as if you'd been waiting for him ever since he left. He never considered that you would be upset with him for leaving without an explanation... Or maybe he never wanted to consider that.

After that, he tries his best to reconnect with you, practically cornering you while you're working on potion recipes Mother Gothel sent with you. "So.... How's the isle been? I haven't been there in a while."

It's like a stab to the heart. "It's been how it's always been. Lonely but crowded... Boring." He deflates at your response, finally letting the reality of his mistakes set in.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have left you like that." He's focusing on what he doesn't need to be.

"You could've left just fine if you had told me about it and sent me letters, Carlos. You know that." It's clear that you have no plans to forgive him, it's obvious to everyone but him. Even the students who're just in the kitchen for a midnight snack who watch the encounter from afar.

He stops trying to go back to exactly how it was after that. Sometimes you're assigned a project with him, and it's fairly cordial. He still looks at you longingly in every class together. When he's not looking, you do too.

I enjoyed this.

[bueckers-sturniolo]

i have literally been begging for someone to write a paige fic based on “Slut!” by TS like the parts that’s like “if i’m all dressed up, they might as well be looking at us” where reader is famous and gets like hated on for being a “slut” 💁‍♀️💁‍♀️

“slut!”

paige bueckers x female!reader

a/n: hi guys!!! sorry it took me so long to edit this and actually post it. i don’t have much to say but THANK YOU FOR THE LOVE ON THE ALCHEMY!!! i promise part 2 is coming soon!!! ps: this may suck a little but i wrote it in an hour and a half so im sorry!!! also, this hasnt been proofread bc its 6 am and i havent slept! hope u somewhat enjoy!!! love uuuu!

warnings: naur, just swearing :)

word count: somewhere around 1k-ish

-

got love-struck, went straight to my head. got lovesick all over my bed. love to think you’ll never forget. we’ll pray the price, i guess.

you had been dating paige for 5 months, now. she was the best person you had ever met, and an even better lover than you could have ever imagined. but, being in the public eye isn’t necessarily ideal, especially when you’re queer. paige was a basketball player at uconn, and you had been famous for a few years. you had been famous before you knew paige, and even before paige was famous. it’s awesome, and you love it. the lifestyle can be very rewarding and enjoyable.

but, being ‘famous’ comes with its faults. as most things do. over the years, you had developed this sort of…. title. this title being that you are some kind of insane serial-dater. it was pretty ridiculous. of course, paige loved you for you, and didn’t really give a fuck as to what people had to say about you. but, it’s still obviously hurtful, and paige gets that.

present day, the epsy’s were coming up. this is something that meant a lot to your girlfriend. and, quite frankly, you’d do anything to make her happy.

until that thing was going as her date (or +1) to the epsy’s. not that you didn’t want to, not that it was because you were gay. but, because you knew how much this could mess with both of your careers. you didn’t really care about your own, cause people are gonna talk about you regardless, but paige’s social presence made it hard to just come out and do whatever you guys want.

“i mean, i’d just really want you there. we can like…. coincide outfits ‘n shit.” paige says, looking over at you, eating a bite of her cereal.

“yeah, p. i understand.” you say, sighing. you look down at your hands, acting like you were paying attention to anything to distract her (and yourself) from the fact that you really just do not know how it would go, and that fact is stressful in itself.

“baby, if you don’t want to go, it’s fine. im just saying it would be cool.” she says, and you meet her eyes again.

you know she’s right. it would be really fuckin’ cool. but like, at the same time, you really didn’t want to have to receive all of the texts from your publisher of news articles with pictures of you and paige where they essentially just put your name in bold letters then talk about how much of a slut you are for dating 4 people in your approximate 5 years of being famous.

yes, it may seem like a lot. but, also, most of these relationships only lasted a few months. you never necessarily wanted them to go public, but, they almost always did. that’s why you and paige took extra precautions.

obviously, one day, you wanted to tell people about you and paige. but, you wanted it to be when you guys had atleast made it past the new relationship stage.

but, if im all dressed up, they might as well be lookin’ at us. and if they call me a ‘slut,’ you know, it might be worth it for once. and if im gonna be drunk, i might as well be drunk in love.

you couldn’t help but give in. there was exactly a week before the epsy’s, and even though you’d kept telling paige you really didn’t think going was a good idea, you felt so bad for saying it that you randomly changed your mind.

“p, come here.” you say, calling from the couch in your living room. she walked in the room, hands on her hips, sleeves rolled up. she was loading the dishwasher for you, as the ‘gentleman’ she was (in a world of boys, (s)he’s a gentleman.)

“yes, baby? what’s wrong?” she says, walking toward you and sitting down, resting an arm on the back of the couch behind your head. “i wanna go with you, p. ill go with you to the awards.” as you say this, you fiddle with the hem of her basketball shorts.

“you wanna go with me? seriously?” she perks up. her whole face immediately lights up. this was the reason you were doing it. that reaction right there.“yes, love. i want to go with you.” she grabs your chin, pulling your face closer to her and gently pressing a kiss to your temple.

“you know, you don’t have to go if you don’t want to. i know you don’t want to read about all of the stupid shit men online say about you. they don’t even know you and it’s so infuriating that they think they can talk about my baby like that. my sweet, sweet girl...” she rubs your side, kissing your temple gently a few more times while babbling a few more sweet names in your ear.

“i know, p. but, i also know i don’t owe anyone shit, and if i want to go out in public with you, i shouldnt be scared. i mean- it’s just…. like, i just want keep hiding us because of the fact that people always have some stupid shit to say. you know, if they call me a whore or if they call me a slut, it might be worth it. it may just be worth it this once.” she smiles ear to ear as you say this. seconds after this, she tackles you onto the couch, pecking all over your face as she tickles your sides.

half asleep, takin’ your time in the tangerine neon lights. this is luxury. you’re not saying you’re in love with me, but, you’re goin’ to. half away, takin’ your chance, it’s a big mistake. i said, ‘it might blow up in your pretty face.’ im not sayin’ do it anyway, but you’re going to.

the night finally arrives. you guys are both getting your hair done. paige is wearing a lilac suit, and she looks ridiculously attractive. you were wearing a white dress with lilac heels, to coincide with her.

you guys get to the carpet, and it feels so surreal. you guys are finally out together and it’s just fucking insane. she does a few interviews, and they even ask you for your own pictures (even though you’re not an athlete)

the awards themselves are good, paige presents and even changes suits. she looks fuckin’ phenomenal.

but, then the after-party comes. the lights are tangerine and kinda dim, everyone’s drunk, and some people are even outside in a swimming pool. (???)

you had been to award shows yourself, but this was so cool. paige grabs you guys drinks throughout the night, careful not to get too wasted, but enough to get a little tipsy. by the end of the afterparty, so many pictures of you guys had been taken you felt like it was kinda too hard to hide your relationship from the world anymore.

while this wasn’t the main goal of tonight whatsoever, paige decided it was time to make your relationship social media official. she thought you deserved to be loved out loud, and honestly she couldn’t give any less of a fuck who said what. you loved her. she loved you. that’s all that mattered.

@paigebueckers

liked by kamoreaarnold and others

paigebueckers: Cats out of the bag I guess 🐈👜

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kamoreaarnold: Photo creds on slide 3

> paigebueckers: @kamoraarnold Best photographer 🙌

yourusername: wow she’s cute who is that

> paigebueckers: @/yourusername Idiot

>> yourusername: @/paigebueckers 😁

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[hoardlikegoldenirises]

I'm posting this now because I'm impatient and also because I just got that commission done by jerribbit (go look at it and admire it 🥰) which is based off of the same thumbnail as this drawing (lol) 'cause I had one of those moments like, "wait this concept is too good for me to not also draw this picture," so even though I paid someone else to draw it, I decided to also draw it. But expanded upon.

anyway it's AU-related and I plan to actually put this in a post with some other images later but I have to like, draw the other images first...

these are both Kaine as he looks in Houston in windowverse; left in mid-october or thereabouts and right in mid-november ish. 2015. he's 26/27/28/6 years old depending on how you start counting. (lol) (he's 27 and a half)

originally, I was gonna put his costume underneath, but I ended up deciding to bare his neck, just for the like... cohesion of the image as a whole.

closeups/details under the cut:

left pic is Kaine in mid-October ish as mentioned, mid-to-late really... he ran out of medication and he's not doing so hot. some breakthrough spots as his immune system kicks back into gear.

some of those spots (the little ones) are just from picking at his skin though.

then he gets eaten by werewolves.

also shaves his head. the white pupil is a cataract he's had for a few years at this point. a combo of meds + physical trauma when he was a few years younger.

also it turns out shaving a character's face and making his cheeks rounder really shaves off the years.

he may be going through some shit and adjusting to new medications and so on and so forth but at least he's eating enough ❤️

stop chewing your lips dude. anyway i spent at least an hour on coloring his scars in the second pic lmao, i just enjoy that. Like, lighting? no. texturing? yes. it's just a bunch of overlapping marks of cain. mark of cains. handprints :) a la Spider-Man: Redemption.

opposite side obviously.

some red hairs in his scraggly little beard :p

his voice is fried, for the record. that scar is right over his voice box. it's like five years old though, so it's well-healed.

and then it gets even more fried, probably. this relatively fresh extremely gnarly scar is from getting his throat ripped out by a werewolf lol.

He died! Then he got better. Obv being eaten by werewolves is directly lifted from his Scarlet Spider solo, though not everything is identical.

i had to bullshit the way it looks also cause idk about you but it seems like asking for trouble to try and google, like, "scars from wolf mauling" or something. lmao.

in the windowverse setting, the Other heals injuries but existing scars stay put, and in this case the life-threatening injuries he sustained made new scars rather than healing away to smooth skin, on account of, hey, he got torn limb from limb by werewolves! not exactly a papercut, you know???

admire his hair. the only reason it's not one big fluff is because of his expensive hair products.

oh yeah blue pullover hoodie because that's what Ben has :)

and the charcoal gray hoodie is a $345 Derek Rose hoodie he got from Saks after Aracely decided that she liked his blue hoodie and it's hers now.

oh right as far as his age goes—

this pic is, as mentioned, how he looks in fall 2015.

he was ''born'' on 4/1/2009 (so if you must be literal he's 6 years old)

he reached 22 the day after Peter's 22nd birthday (10/31/2009) (so he's 28)

but his 22nd birthday wasn't until 4/1/2010 (so he's 27)

according to the birth certificate wally gets made for him in this au he was born on 4/1/1989 (so he's legally 26)

He usually counts from his observed 22nd birthday in 2010 so generally he would consider himself 27 at this point. as long as he can remember his fake birth year it doesn't matter if he forgets what age he's ''supposed'' to be and since he was born in 2009 technically that makes 1989 much easier to remember.

also aracely was born in 1999 in this universe so this makes her both 10 years older than and 10 years younger than him :) which was another factor in why i picked 1989

[weatheringtea]

FMA Cafe

While I was in Japan, the FMA cafe opened up :D I've never been to an anime cafe before, so this was perfect! I went once a week (so 3 times in total) so I could try a bunch of different dishes and collect coasters lol

I tried to put this under cut because it's long and full of pics, but adding the read more ruined the formatting of the pics so I'll leave it.

The first trip was March 22, kind by accident LOL. I was in the area to see Shinjuku Gyoen and the cafe was on our walk back to Shinjuku stn. The lobby was empty, so I gathered my very out of practice JP skills and asked if it was possible to get a seat as a walk-in. They said yes :D

Word hadn't gotten around yet it seems, so it was very empty upstairs too LOL. Great for pics :D

There's a ¥1,000 sitting fee and you get a drink with that. There's a QR code given to you for the menu (it matches to your table number so your orders are tracked). Menu was a bit clunky, probably because my JP reading skills are in the toilet, but I figured it out! They played the same 10 minute video the entire time (for the FMA mobile game).

Because I showed up late I only bought one thing to eat (last order for food was 18:00 and I didn't really sit down and get things figured out until 17:45-ish), and it was Lust's chocolate cake. It was very good (and very heavy lol). I got the Edward Elric drink first and the Roy Mustang drink second. Both came with mystery coasters. Ed's drink was better imo.

At the end the couple of us on the 2nd floor snuck up to the 3rd for pics before leaving.

I went back the day before I left for Osaka :D (27th)

Word had gotten around by now about the cafe and merch shop and it was busy this time! I popped in at 12:15 and asked if they had any seats available. No, they're full. He offered to book me in for 14:30 though! So I putzed around Shinjuku for 2 hours and went back :D

It was packed this time!! On both floors.

Winry's pie was alright. Heavier than I was expecting. Ed's fries were fun! They came with a white paper bag that you transfer the fries into, and you add whatever mix of spices you want from the spice cups it came with, then shake in the bag. Neat! Also tasty.

Drinks were Olivier's, Bradley's (with matching coaster!) and Ed's drink again (I should have gotten Roy's again dammit, I tried to take his glove hand home from the first time, but it got wet, the ink bled, and it ironically fell apart...)

Olivier's was the neatest looking drink, but also my least favourite. Bradley's was my favourite drink - very good!

I went back on April 4 before I went home ;A;. This time I made a reservation. I asked for a seat on the 3rd floor, since my first 2 had been on the 2nd, but I think seating is actually based on how early you get in line. I got in line early and noticed everyone in front of me also got 3rd floor, so I think they just fill the 3rd before dealing with the 2nd.

ANYWAYS

Great seat. A+. My spot had 2 table numbers and I asked if it was okay and they just were like "yeah yeah it's fine no worries". Okay!

By this point they must have been besieged with tourists. Poor woman hosting the floor couldn't speak English to save her life (and half my floor was tourists). She got to me and tried to suffer through a few English words and I stopped her. I'm fine with the instructions in Japanese :') please don't suffer more on my account.

Bradley's drink again, Ed's Milk Hater drink, and the classic FMA drink BECAUSE I CONTINUE TO FORGET ALL ABOUT ROY...

Ed's milk drink though... you pour the milk into the mug filled with soda(??) and ice. It tasted like a float without the cola?? It was unique... the most interesting drink to try for sure (Bradley's still my favourite).

I bought the mug at the gift shop :')

LET'S TALK ABOUT THIS AL PUDDING. This was amazing and fun. There is a little cake, there is a little ice cream, there is a little pudding, there's a little idk what it was but it was chocolate and good, and there are cat themed cookies under the pudding cup LMAO. Then there's the blood seal inside the tin. A+ Al wins. That was so much fun, I'm sad I left that until last, I probably would have gotten it again.

You could have totally sold me on this mug too if it had been for sale.

Look, I did remember Roy sorta :') I got his doughnut. It was HEAVY and the icing was so thick on top it was rock hard. Sticky, messy finger food.

So that's it :D I've run out of picture space lol. I wish I'd gotten to taste test things in the second round later in April (ARMSTRONG'S HASHED BEEF ;____;) but I hope they enjoy all the money I gave them while I was there LOL. I had some neat food and had fun doing it :)

[dollsonmain]

I've forgotten how to sleep and startled myself when I looked in the mirror on my way to bed last night. The eye wells in my skull were very, very visible. Slightly less bad this morning.

So sleep hasn't happened due to both anxiety/stress and the AC having been broken for a while. AC was out for about a week and once it was fixed, I was too stressed about the absences thing at school to sleep the first night, and then too stressed last night because Son broke his school laptop yesterday and we have to tell That Guy today, AND That Guy had gone out partying with friends after work which means he drives home like that in the middle of the night and I always worry he's not going to make it. I can't sleep until I hear the garage door open. If he crashes, with the way he has our finances set up, Son and I are effectively homeless immediately. Part of why I am trying to work. Him not coming home until 1am also prolonged the anticipatory anxiety of having to wait to tell him the problem and get over the aftermath.

And then I woke up at 3am like always and couldn't get back to sleep.

Anyway.

Work stuff ish again

I will not complain about being expected to work 6 hours a day because that's less than a "normal" job anyway, but really at that point I'd rather work a full 8 and get benefits.

I very much think it should be illegal to schedule people juuuuuust under the cut off for benefits to be required by labor law. You should have to either schedule people 40 hours or 20 hours, no in between, IMO. Scheduling someone exactly 20 hours gives them plenty of time to go work SOMEWHERE ELSE for the other 20 hours without having to worry about being scheduled to work 60+ hours a week because both employers are cheapskates that will work you 30 hours.

I also need to completely change my daily routines AGAIN to get to work on time.

My current-new routine is:

wake up at 3:30 and get my morning coffee

sit around and wait for That Guy to leave for work which is usually 4-4:30

Son gets up and we have the morning together

Son leaves for school at 6:50

I don't get hungry until somewhere between 7 and 9 and will have breakfast then

depending on how exhausted I am I will or will not do chores between 5 and 10

leave to walk to work at 10:20

get to work at 10:40/10:45

work 11-3

That Guy picks me up on his way home from work, though I did have to walk home yesterday

do chores

dinner between 4-5 or so

vegetable time

Now, I'm going to have to skip my morning coffee because it makes me poop and I don't want to be pooping while I'm also the only cashier at work.

So it's going to be like....

wake up around 3 and shower OR shower in the evenings and deal with being gross from night-sweats at work so wake up at 3:30, I do prefer to show up to work nice and clean but it is a gas station...

force feed myself some sort of solid food while waiting for That Guy to leave for work around 4-4:30

make sure the boy gets up no later than 5

leave to walk to work at 5:20

get to work at 5:40-5:45

work 6-whenever (she hasn't decided when????)

leave work to walk to home whenever that happens to be and I'd rather it WASN'T noon because it's going to be stupid hot, then, but stop on the store's "porch" to put on sunscreen real fast... which means I need an opaque travel size bottle for sunscreen, and eat something so I don't pass out on the way home (yesterday I took a small bread roll and some jerky and ate that and drank a second V8 Energy while walking)

get home around 1 if I left at noon because the walk home is slower than the walk to work

eat a real lunch? finally have my poopin coffee?

chores

Son and That Guy get home at 3

profit???

I'm going to have to prep and take multiple sugar drinks so my blood sugar doesn't bottom out while at work. Right now I've been taking one bottle of water with a Real Lemon lemonade drink stick mixed in and I forget to drink it but it's there so I can slam it before leaving. I'll need to also take a meal replacement shake got sugar, salt, and other nutrients, I think, and an extra water.

Manager keeps trying to get me to buy something at work before my shift starts and I'm like no thanks those are MY monies, now, you're not getting them back on your overpriced bottled water.

Today I need to do laundry, deal with the fallout of telling That Guy that Son broke his school laptop, go to Kohl's and see if I can find some New Balance cross trainers to wear to work since I will be doing walking, standing, and lifting and I think cross-trainers would be the best option AND already know NB is the brand they primarily carry, need to find a hi-vis vest or couple of belts because I'll be walking to work in the dark, and That Guy said he'd take me to dinner today for leaving me to have to walk home from work Yesterday but what does that matter? That's going to be every day from now on.

A few more paychecks and I'll look for a scooter again. Or something. Still kind of like the idea of getting a cargo trike, ngl. Would be harder to steal than a bike anyway.

I don't know what I'm going to do in the winter.

-

Running a salary and income tax calculator and factoring in about $3k in short-term hobby income, even putting that no tax is withheld, it looks like I'd expect a tax return of $3k? Because there's about $3k in tax credits??? Whatever. I'll figure it out when it's closer to the right time.

[bbyannabeth]

prompt from this list that i saw and couldn’t stop thinking about:

I didn't know you wore glasses and I'm thinking normal and platonic thoughts about you right now I swear

annabeth all but collapsed into the seat across from him. “i got no sleep last night,” she started, barely even bothering to look at percy as she opened her lunch. “and i ended up not even presenting today because the professor was sick. literally stayed up until 4 am for nothing.”

she angrily took a bite of her burrito bowl, stabbing the fork back down into the rice. finally, she looked up at percy, who was staring at her blankly. “what?” she asked.

“you wear glasses?”

a stupid question because obviously she did. they were square-ish frames, black and silver. the bottoms of the lenses rounded out a bit and rested gently on her cheeks. she had no makeup on, but the glasses highlighted her eyes in a similar way to how her mascara normally did, maybe even better. in the sunlight that washed over them as they sat on their usual picnic table, he was rendered speechless by how good she looked.

“oh,” annabeth said, slightly less pointed than before. “yeah. i always wear contacts, but i was too tired this morning.”

percy nodded dumbly, his lunch completely forgotten as he looked at her. annabeth didn’t seem to notice how his brain was short circuiting as she continued to eat and tell him all about how much effort she’d put into this presentation, only for her to still have three more days to work on it now.

percy didn’t realize he had a thing for moody girls in glasses, but he very much does. he’d always, on some level, recognized that annabeth was beautiful but it had never clicked in his head just how beautiful. now, as he tried to act normal and resume eating his sandwich, he was finding it increasingly hard to focus on what she was saying and instead found himself getting distracted by the way the light reflected off her glasses and onto her cheeks.

“you’re being weird,” she said after a few minutes.

“no, i’m not,” percy lied. he had just been studying the way her hair looked tucked behind her ear with the arm of her glasses holding the curls back. which was, admittedly, kind of weird of him.

“what’s up?”

“you just look so different with glasses, i don’t know,” he shrugged.

“you’re still on that?” she asked.

“i don’t know. it’s weird, okay?”

wrong thing to say, he realized immediately. but annabeth nodded once and said, “thanks.”

“not a bad weird,” he corrected himself. annabeth rolled her eyes though. she lifted the glasses off her face and instead set them on her head, pushing her hair away from her face.

“better?” she asked.

no, not better. it was worse, actually. because this was how annabeth normally looked to percy, and he was still tongue-tied over how fucking pretty she was.

“i like the glasses on you,” he said, trying to sound genuine. “they look good. good weird.”

annabeth stared at him for a few seconds before bringing down the frames again and settling them on her face.

“anyways,” she said, trying to steer the conversation towards something else. “did your quiz end up going okay?”

they fell into a relatively normal conversation, but percy couldn’t stop himself from occasionally losing focus. if annabeth noticed, which he was sure she did judging by the handful of odd looks she gave him, she didn’t say anything. they sat there for the next hour until percy had to leave for his next class.

“you should wear the glasses more often,” he said as he stood up from the table. “they suit you.”

annabeth stared at him, the look in her eyes hard to read. “you’re weird, jackson,” she said finally, but there was a hint of pink in her cheeks that hadn’t been there before.

“yeah, but you knew that already,” he smiled.

“that i did,” she nodded. “now go away.”

he left with a small wave, mind focused only on how the rims of her glasses looked brushing against the blush on her cheeks.

when he saw her the next day in their english class, she was wearing her glasses again.

[peek-seek]

Revelation Pt1

Jake Sully x reader x Neytiri

(I'm obsessed with avatar right now)(this takes place after avatar 1)

(I am kind of bullshitting some stuff, I only have so much knowledge)

(okay last bracket, the talking bits my be a bit meh and it takes a couple chapters to actually get to pandora)

summary(ish not really): You were human, a scientist sent on a mission to Pandora. The escape from reality of hell on earth. The planet of new beginnings.

You've heard of Na'vi and what the humans that previously went there did. You know that going there means you won't get the warmest welcome and possibly meet with death because of what the RDA did, what humans did.

But you wanted an escape, to set your life a new. you were tired of going to the same 9 to 5, eating the same canned food for breakfast, lunch, and dinner with the occasional different flavoring.

You hated the feeling of just existing and never actually living, you loathed it. Feeling transparent, never exploring who you are, too consumed in fitting to standards of everyone around you so you didn't have to deal with useless conflict. You hated never being able to be you and never being able to explore it.

You hated having no one, not even yourself to turn to. Being alone was fine, but being lonely was miserable and you'd do almost anything to escape feeling that again. So when you saw a flyer asking for volunteers, you grabbed it, reaching and seeking a chance for escape.

The sheet asked for volunteers or people previously in the program to undergo training for a year before going to pandora. Pandora was already a place of interest before this offer, you only looked at a book or two here and there about the planet at the public library.

You looked into the species, the language, and some other cool facts in a kids book. Although, you didn't delve into things about Pandora, you just skimmed what was there and called it good.

The planet was always a place you wanted to go to but you thought you lost your chance to go so you never really explored the idea of going there, until that flyer.

You were excited to say the least, but also a bit doubtful. You probably wouldn't know much compared to the other volunteers and might end up embarrassing yourself. But you still wanted to go or at least see if you actually had a shot at going to Pandora. And it isn't like you were entirely clueless, of course you were pretty much clueless about a lot that involved Pandora. But you did get your masters in Micro Biology, just never pursued a job with it in mind.

You had no clue why they asked for volunteers or why they'd have flyers out for civilians to grab as they pleased, but you couldn't give up this chance.

The date on the flyer was a week away and you were nervous? Anxious? Scared? Nope. You were all of the above. Because you didn't know shit, you have no sense of direction if you managed to get on the planet, and have a selective(terrible) memory. So even if you tried to study, you'd probably forget it all as soon as you walked in due to stress. You aren't the most graceful person either.

You decided to pray to whoever and cross your fingers and toes and hope that it ends up okay. While you waited the for the upcoming interview, you stressed, researched, worked, and slept.. a lot. That whole week was a haze mostly due to the amount of powernaps and cramming your brain with information of past studies that didn't make much sense.

The big day finally came and you were scared shitless. you went to the place that the flyer said and arrived a half hour earlier (around 4:30 pm)so you had time to calm your nerves and possibly go over the flashcards you prepared.

You seemed to lose track of time skimming the cards because the clock said 5:05pm. Once you fully processed that you are late, you bolted out of your car and hauled ass to the building. It was a breath takingly beautiful building but you unfortunately didn't have time to admire the scenery.

You opened the door to see a room similar to a classroom, you took the closest empty seat and noticed about 70 or so people there. Some guy who was roughly 50 was talking in the front of the room, you'd assume about what the training would consist of.

You leaned over to the person beside you and mumbled," Did I miss much?"

They replied with, "He just began the introduction and basically said what we'd train. And that there would only be about 20 of us who'd be able to go to Pandora."

You look up and decided it would be weird if you didn't give your name," Thank you, I owe you one. My name is y/n, and you are?"

"Ezra, and no problem." You both draw your attention to the head of the room when it sounded like the guy, or rather Dr.Porter seemed to be talking about something important.

"As you all know, Pandora is a dangerous place, not only due to the species there, but due to our reputation. The first rule is that it is forbidden to go into Na'vi territory, if you do not obey that rule, you will be killed. That was out agreement with the Na'vi. If we break that rule, you are not only putting yourself in danger, but the whole squad. I hope if you listen to any of these rules that you will at least listen to this one.

The second rule is no dating, it makes things messy, it's unprofessional. And the third is pretty obvious, don't do stupid shit that could endanger your squad. Testing will begin shortly, we will test you on physical health, what you know, and if you are compatible. You see that in front of you is paper and pencil, good luck."

You are left flabbergasted because you thought testing would be at the end of the year and not now. You nervously glance at Ezra. "Good luck." is all he said and you shakily replied the same.

You hesitantly grab the the pencil and put your name on the paper. You think it'll now take a miracle to get in to the program. 'Fuck it' you thought and scribbled out the answer to the ones you knew and guessed for the ones you didn't. You were bullshitting left and right and prayed you would pass.

With that the writing portion of the test was done and you were now onto the compatibility test where they look at your DNA and blood. They took you to a different room after you handed in your paper. The room was pretty much a waiting room you all sat at and they called your names one by one, just like at a doctors office.

A nurse came out looking at her clipboard and said your name. You immediately jumped from your seat and followed her to yet another room. It was your standard room with a bed and wrap covering it. You laid down and waited for a doctor to come in. They ran a bunch of weird tests while you sat patiently for it to be over.

Once they were done with that a different nurse came in and simply said the next test will begin shortly and that he'd take you to the place it was being held.

You were sweating a bit thinking about the next test. But before your mind could waver too much, you were already at the door to the testing grounds. The nurse opened the door, gave you a quick good luck, and sent you on your way.

The room was quite big. It had really tall ceilings, and was pretty spacious. You see a group of people in white coats recording data on the volunteers that were being tested. One of the recorders asked you to stand by a group of people and you noticed Ezra and decided to wave him down. You guys talked for a bit about the writing portion of the test. You both wished each other well and parted ways so that you could take the last part of the test.

The testers told you to do as many jumping jacks, pushups, squats, and line sprints as possible and then told you to lift the heaviest weight you could. Your limbs were jelly and you think you went to the afterlife about 12 times by the time it was over. They said you could go home and rest and that they'd call you if you got in.

You didn't expect much but at least happy you tried. You got in your car, drove home, and landed face first on your bed and slept like a rock, you called off work, no way were you going tomorrow.

(okay, that was the first chapter, I am kind of going with the flow for the plot. I don't have much in mind other than reader is gonna get in on that jake and Neytiri action. I don't know if I'll update regularly but I liked writing this so far and am planning on working on the next chapter after I post this. I also do not know how long or short this series will be but I hope you all enjoy it)

[caffeineivore]

Terminal

Liminal spaces Pt 4, M/K, PG13-ish? The end...?!

That the flight is re-routed to Detroit for the weather is unwelcome news, but not a complete surprise. Flying anywhere in the northern United States in January meant rolling the dice with Mother Nature, and Kane Grantham can do little but grumble as he disembarks with the rest of the passengers into the deserted terminal at DTW at the indecent hour of 10:29PM. To add insult to injury, the airport is perforce their port of entry into the country on the flight from Heathrow, and not only does the airline not provide hotel and transportation reimbursement for the weather-induced flight delay, but he and everyone else has to drag themselves through Customs and Border Protection at roughly an hour to midnight.

Naturally, everyone is testy and tired, which just makes the process drag on even longer. By the time Kane is declared not-a-terrorist and his personal effects are returned to him, it is twenty minutes to midnight and outside the floor-to-ceiling windows, the snow is falling steadily. Kane opens up the Uber app, and even with the unholy late-night premiums, there are no drivers available. A search for hotels is equally unpromising. Jet-lagged, hungry and wearing a non-blizzard-grade peacoat over his suit and wingtips, he sinks down into one of the seats in the terminal with a sigh.

"Well, this sucks, doesn't it? And I was so hoping to get home and indulge in a bubble bath with a glass of wine."

The melodious female voice sounds next to him, the tones friendly and the accent vaguely American. He glances over to see the trim blonde figure of a young woman wearing the navy blue skirt suit of a flight attendant complete with a jaunty red ascot that precisely matches the ribbon in her hair. She's seated one chair away from him, the only other person in the terminal, and gives him a wry yet cheerful sort of grin. "Oh well. It is what it is, hmm?"

That's an Americanism that he doesn't quite understand, so he settles for a shrug and a nod. "You're stranded too, I take it?"

"Honey, we're all stranded until tomorrow, but might as well make the best of it." She stretches out a pair of very slim, very nice legs (not that he's paying them any mind) and kicks off her stiletto heels with a sort of forwardness that he's not accustomed to, but then again, who the deuce could blame her, at this hour? Certainly, he's dying to get comfortable himself, and he's not the one freezing his arse off in a knee-length skirt. That done, she rifles in her bag, and pulls out several packets of those ubiquitous airplane biscuits, offers him one. "Hungry?"

"I am, rather. Thank you, miss."

"You'd think I'd get tired of Biscoff, but it never fails in a pinch." Somewhere, somehow, she also procures two mini bottles of water, a few slightly-squashed granola bars.

The two of them eat an objectively unappetizing dinner at the hour of midnight in the cotton-wrapped silence of that snowy airport terminal, and yet it's satisfying in a way that Kane doesn't quite understand. She's rather beautiful, despite-- or perhaps of-- the lateness of the hour. The sort of woman that one took to the ballet and bought flowers for, back home. But he's never been a ladies' man even in broad daylight, in a raucous pub. Certainly not in the middle of nowhere, in a town that both of them had no business in, on a snowy night.

"Thanks for the bite to eat," he finally says, because it felt necessary to acknowledge her-- acknowledge SOMETHING. "I do hope you get home soon."

"We'll all be on our way in the morning, won't we?" She tilts her head to the side, gives him a smile with something strangely wistful in it. "You'd best get some rest, sweetie. You're stuck here with me tonight."

Kane is reasonably certain that he'd never been called 'sweetie' ever before, not even once, in his whole life. Certainly not by a pretty blonde with her bare feet propped up on top of her suitcase, assiduously unpinning her cornsilk hair in a way that is far more distracting than it was ever meant to be. At this distance, it smells faintly like the types of windblown, summery wildflowers that grow far away from London's prim streets. Had he been smoother, more clever with his words, he might have come up with something flirtatious to say in response. But it's so quiet, and the terminal is rather like a different, tiny world where no one else existed and time meant very little, and he feels his eyelids grow heavy as he slouches down in his chair. The last thing he recalls himself saying, as he settles into the folds of his coat, is a mumbled, "I don't mind."

It's the sound of luggage wheels on the buffed floors that snaps him awake, and when he opens his eyes, the sun has come up. The terminal, though still empty, is showing signs of returning to life as a nattily-dressed gate agent takes his spot at the podium. Kane's suitcase and messenger bag are still right next to him, precisely where he'd left them.

Tucked securely around his shoulders, slightly scratchy but warm and fragrant with a delicate whiff of wildflowers, is an airline issue blanket, navy blue, the colour of her skirt suit. The girl herself is nowhere to be seen, and he wonders if she's on her way home already, to that bubble bath and glass of wine. He wonders where 'home' is, for her.

He wonders, for the first time in his staid and orderly life, if he's going mad and imagined the episode last night, then dismisses that as a laughable notion. Certainly the world wasn't so cruel, so terminally hopeless, that a woman so lovely only appeared in one's dreams.

[s3rving3xactlywhatyouare]

"We Fucked Up"

Aka: the cram schedule of an AuDHD/dyscalculia HS student who just remembered his online math class shuts down in a day and it's vital to his grade to get it done unless he wants to be held back and do senior year twice.

I messed up! I'm really bad at math, and I got assigned summer school. Which I had promptly brushed off for the most part, because life decided to screw my summer over with the Park Fire, having to get surgery, and a bunch of other bullshit that has resulted in me going, "oh shit, I have a day and a half to complete this" on the 14th of August when I woke up that day.

I had 5 units to complete in the span of about 26 hours, because I had to unlock the final exam manually with the person running it, and she was only available a few hours of the day.

And here's how I somehow managed to do that. Miracles are real.

Day 1, Session 1: 1-3pm

Worked for 45 minutes, break for 15 from 1-2pm

Straight hour of work from 2-3pm

Went from the middle of unit 2 to early-unit 3 in this time frame.

Major break from 3-4pm, refresh, walk, get something to eat, etc.

Session 2: 4-8pm

50 minute sessions, 10 minute breaks(if any)

This was the big cram session of the day. I just worked and only got up if I was in pain, needed a drink, or needed to handle the dogs for whatever reason. I got to mid/late-unit 3 in here, as unit 3 is HUGE

Session 3: 12am-2:15am

Life got in the way when my mother got home. I kept telling her I needed to study, and I also didn't eat until 11:30. So now I knew I needed to pull an all-nighter-ish to get remotely close to finishing.

Got to the beginning of unit 4, took a 45 minute break to stretch. This was going to be a long night.

Session 4: 3am-5am

This was the "chillest" session. I made it to the end of unit 4. I still have time, the class manager gets to her office soon so I'm taking a 1 hour and 30 minute break to let some ibuprofen kick in(my back hurts)! And to hydrate. My mom told me to go to bed. I am, in fact, not going to bed. Not until I'm done. Possibly even later than after I'm done, depending on how early I finish.

Given the shortness of the last 2 units before the exam I have to ask for her to unlock, I can semi-logically assume that I'll be done with the course work around 8:30am at the latest, if not by the time she makes it into her office at 7am.(as I'm writing this during my break, it is 5:09am as I write this segment.)

Session 5: 6:30am-9am

I was correct in my assumptions! I finished the course work at 8:25am, got the exam unlocked at 8:30. I passed the class with a high B and the final with an 80%.

Now I'm gonna go take a nap.

Like a really long one.

Like a I-regret-my-choices-but-fuck-it nap.

[possession1981-moving]

actually so i think most of u know i grew up fat right like i was fat by the time i was like 4/5 and it was remarked upon all the time by adults and my parents were trying to diet me+my sister our entire childhoods until i acquired an ed when i was 15 and lost a ton of weight in 3 months and since then it's only been my sister getting that shit from everyone in the family. but anyway, when i was like 10 and my sister was like 8? i think around that time, my mom was told by my uncle who'd always been fat (even after a gastric bypass) that she should look into LCHF (which, fun fact, is a term I guess he coined?) for me and my sister because he had been working with this alternative doctor out of a town 2-ish hours away from where we lived and he was like an expert on this new amazing method for weightloss which is actually the Healthiest Way To Live and Eat. so my mom drove me and my sister all the fuckin way there for a meeting in which this doctor basically just told my mom oh they need to eat max 50g carbs a day and just SO MUCH FAT. and my mom just swallowed that shit whole like she restructured our entire diet and forced my sister and i to eat like a pack of bacon + scrambled eggs cooked in bacon grease every single morning and we were absolutely not allowed potatoes, pasta, bread or rice. she tried to get us to have spoonfuls of butter as a snack. she tried to get us to drink heavy cream instead of milk. and neither of us lost weight despite going through all of that, which my sister didn't mind it was food to her taste but it made me so fucking sick and miserable i didn't know what to fucking do, and then she just got even stricter with it and that shit went on for like 3 years until she finally gave up. and the entire time she was making my dad different meals including carbs n shit because he absolutely would not change the way he ate just because his kids were fat so i had to watch my dad eat potatoes with his dinner wishing i could have one because cheese-baked cauliflower gets really nauseating when you eat it nearly every fucking day and sometimes you really want a fucking carb with your meat and cream-based sauce. anyway that's why i hate low carb diets i know they work for some people but they press my fucking buttons intensely.

[yourgamemasterthewhiterabbit]

The great regular sleep experiment 2024 part uh... "pillow"

Okay, so what happened is the night before last I looked up everything I needed to go get my ID, and discovered that -technically- I didn't have anything that qualified as "proof of identity" because both my cards were expired and as a disabled person I can't qualify for a credit card, can't drive etc... In fact I can't even acquire something on the list. All the proof I have of who I am and where I live is technically only qualified as "proof of address", Having my passport -night- fix this, but my ex husband's father still has that.

So I decided that I'd show up with all I had, and if they were obtuse about it I would write angry letters exhaustively until there were policy changes. It's bad enough they make you get a new ID and health card every 2-5 years and that they make you pay for the photo ID. The applying online options would be great except you aren't allowed to the moment your card has actually already expired. I think there should be exceptions to a lot of these things for the disabled and especially for anyone on a disability pension.

I also decided that the best way to make sure I could get in and out as fast as possible was to get the earliest morning appointment I could and keep it, and I -could- book online so I did.

But then, it was my night sleeping shift, and even though I took sleeping pills and did everything I could... Not only could I not sleep at 10, but I couldn't sleep at 12, etc and so on until I had just laid in bed doing nothing until 5 ish am... At which point I had no choice but to get up because the walk there was going to take 1.5 hours min, and I had to eat and drink first, but also have time to pee after that had fully processed so I don't have to try to use a public toilet, etc... You know how a 9 am appointment means needing to be up at 4 when you're otherwise disabled and/or have autism/adhd...

So I fucking went to get my ID so sleep-zombied that I think everyone I encountered just assumed I was stoned AF, just absolutely wizard high at the government offices.

And I got my ID, but I hadn't brought my cane and I already could barely walk due to not sleeping, and kept tilting to the left because of trying to keep weight off of my right foot. I stopped at a dollar-store on the way home because it was right at opening and I needed to this week anyway to get the treats that make Pumpkin actually eat his food. Anyway point is I was walking way slower on the way back and the appointment was already at 9 am so I didn't get to bed until past 12.

And I slept! And then I was barely awake long enough to eat and went back to bed by 7 pm, and then I slept! On and off a lot until 6 am [I had moved my 5 am alarm later]...

And I am hoping I can sleep again in about 15 minutes, otherwise I am not going to recapture my 10-2 sleeps and my schedule will be soundly fucked up, all because I had to try to replace my ID.

[No I could not just take a cab or bus for the same reasons I never can without it being a near guarantee of being exposed to corona]

Oh yeah! The pillow! Turns out a shallow lumbar pillow for my lower back helps with my spine trying to be too straight all the time. The lower curve of my back and upper back have both been vanishing and my disks have been trying to curve out sideways because of it, and I have really shitty connective tissue, so I have been trying to keep my lower back curved the right way when I sleep so I don't develop an abnormal curve to my spine. For normal people this would be a process that takes years to cause problems and years to adjust back, or surgery, but my connective tissue is weak and stretchy and this kind of shit can happen to me and reverse int he span of a month. Unfortunately, correcting how bad my spine has gotten means an increase in the number of headaches I am getting again.

It also turns out that a lower back pillow that slips out of place is HORRIBLE for your back though, so ymmv.

So yeah, looking forward to my new ID photos looking utterly fucked... Which -frankly- is how I am going to look opening my door to buy alcohol or having to show up at a medical facility anyway.

That is, unless they pull the same shit as last time and send me my ID with the OLD photos because they can't see the age difference between them and think the older photo is better quality. They KEEP doing this, they insist I have to go in and take my mask off for a new photo [risk of corona and all], and then they just use the last one I took for them when I was still wearing makeup [more fem?]... Which is over 10 years old at this point, btw, it's just still on my last most recent ID because whoever is making the cards seems to prefer it. Like I don't care if I still look the same age, or younger with no makeup, I don't like having to show people an ID that looks like a 'modeling portfolio' pic and feels like misgendering. People already almost refuse to believe my ID is real because I look too young, I do not need them also thinking I don't look like the same person as in my photo because I don't look fem enough. I keep trying to take a more neutral looking photo and they keep opting out for me.

Whatever, they're telling me it's good for 5 years now.

[zirielladior]

ella's diary ୨୧

friday || 7.28.2023

hihi ella here !!

₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ.

another nice-ish week. school starts on august 9th. i'm kind of sad, but at least i'll see some friends. i just don't want to do any school work. i still want good grades, of course, just.. without doing anything i guess.

my friend & i started a baking goal a few days ago. we were baking cookies and then his little sister came into the kitchen and asked if she could watch a movie with us. (she's eight.) and we said yes, we ended up eating all the cookies in three days, so we decided to bake again. we baked the famous pinterest jelly tart cookies. they came out pretty good, i almost burnt them because he went to shower and i started reading. but he got out soon enough and then went to check on them and they almost burnt. they're good though, i wish i could give you one right now for staying this look just to read <3 🍪

i spent a bit of today cleaning my room again. only vacuuming & organizing my closet, for almost the third time this month. and then i started reading another book i bought, it's called 'if he had been with me'. i saw it online & in a bookshop when i was in ontario for the summer, so i bought it! a lot of people say it's a little overrated, (not judging by the cover but by the actual book) and of course i saw it. i wanted to buy it anyway because it wasn't available at the library. (i can't really afford me buying books every other day so i usually go to my local library for books i see online that might be nice to read.)

also i've been writing a little bit of my own novel ideas. it think i might actually publish something, (hopefully if the KOSA bill doesn't progress.) on wattpad. not much of a fanfic although that's really the most popular side of wattpad. maybe. i'm really fond of writing a story that may reflect my dream life. you know..? like a good main plot with my dream lifestyle? don't know if it's a good idea though considering i just created this blog.

oh also, i've just started watching stranger things 4 !! i love the show up until now, but i've heard that vol. 2 could've been better. not sure, i just started episode one with my father on wednesday. i hope its not a weird season with a lot more people dying.

oh! speaking of which, i'm thinking of taking bass lessons soon. and maybe piano too. i've really wanted to play both for a while. he knows how to play bass, piano, drums, pretty much anything. he can make a tune out of recordings of every instrument and then he can make a nice instrumental song. he makes good poems so sometimes i tell him to make songs but he doesn't usually. he's making one now actually! i finally convinced him with elliot (his little sister) that he should write a song. so i think he's writing a song, maybe it's a love song for his crush. like i dunno but that could def be a reason why he's hiding it from us. otherwise he's pretty open about music and stuff.

him & i also went to a bakery in town. it was a bit close to the hotel his family & my family were staying at. (family friends trip, chill nothing weird.) so it was nice to go out and feel the night breeze. especially since i haven't been leaving the house much after being gone to ontario for an hour. we went shopping and i bought a cute cream colored mug with brown paint splattered on it, and a cute little baby tee that said gilmore on it !!

we went out to a cute bakery and had pastries and tea. we also bought candy from there for our sisters. mine's twelve and his is eight, but my sister's still pretty immature. they get along really nicely. his sister likes dolls, and my sister likes fixing dolls up. that's not whats immature about her, she genuinely acts five, but she loves dolls, and miniatures and making jewelry which i adore for her. if she's happy, i'm happy. in the end we both bought chocolate covered peppermint sticks with sprinkles. i think it was called lazy dog chocolateria. really great place, the food was sososososoo yummy.

anyway, so much for trying to keep a short entry. thank you for staying this long and listening to my conversations that were, really, just for myself considering not many people are going to listen to these.

₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ.

love always, ella ୨୧

[funwithvael]

Thoughts from Last Night: Main 4 Roommate AU where They're College-ish Age

- Kyle and Cartman's rooms are clean. Stan's is never perfect but it's not too bad. Kenny's can get pretty bad. Kyle puts on gloves and a face mask and forces Kenny to help clean it up

- It is completely normal for Kenny to be awake at odd hours, doing random shit. No one questions why Kenny is sitting on the kitchen counter at 5:32 am, making pudding from the box.

- Stan playing his music a little too loud. Cartman, ever so mature, plays his shitty pop music louder to drown it out. Kyle knocks on both their doors and tells them to turn it tf down

- (holds vegetarian Stan in my mouth) Whoever is making dinner, leaving out the meat until the end so Stan can have a bowl

- Kenny and/or Kyle are the best cooks

- Cartman does not know how to cook

- Late night drives to the gas station for snacks

- Cartman and Kyle - the only two i trust to have any amount of taste - arguing about how the shared spaces should be decorated.

- If it was up to Stan or Kenny, it would look like r/malelivingspaces

- Kenny brings home a free couch he found on the side of the road and Kyle is like >8I PUT THAT BACK IT PROBABLY HAD BED BUGS OR FLEAS OR SOMETHING. Kenny moves it to his room

- Them having to get all the alcohol out of the house for Stan's sake

- Kyle being in college, knows he has class early in the morning, but the 3 other guys are pressuring him to stay up and have fun with them.

- Choosing which movie they're gonna watch together is a nightmare. They all argue what they wanna watch

- Cartman's self care shit takes up like half the bathroom counter

- Them all doing face masks together is just a funny image to me.

- Cartman having a habit of eating other people's leftovers. Due to this, all of the leftovers are marked with who they belong too

- Kenny and Cartman doing each other's makeup <3

- Them having a cat that Stan brings home from the outside.... Kyle was never allowed to have a pet - he awkwardly interacts with it. It purrs and kyle almost thinks he fucking broke it. Cartman is canonically a big cat person so he baby talks and plays with it. Kenny likes the cat but keeps it out of his room to protect his pet rats

- Kenny not liking whenever any of the guys fr argue. The joke arguments are fine but he tries to break up and stop actual arguments when they arise

- Stan brings Wendy over. Kenny and Cartman have their ear to Stan's door. Kyle hisses at them to stop and give them privacy but probably joins in on listening. Stan opens his door and all three of them fall on top of each other