#only 6 episodes? yeah that’s too short of a season for me… especially for a spy thriller kinda show

[whumpypepsigal]

Citadel s01e06: “Kyle, you got to wake up.”

[oneatlatime]

Hiii!!! I’ve been binging through your blog for the past few weeks and I noticed how you talk about how Kataang(Katara x Aang) is portrayed in the show. Honestly yeah, I will admit I didn’t like it at first but now I just don’t really care for it. But I’d be interested hearing an in-depth opinion on the ship(unless you already did and I just never noticed or forgot 😭).

Another question, do you think you’re going to read the comics that came out the series? If you’re asking my opinion I’d say they’re a uuuh 7-8 out of 10 IG?

I do have thoughts on Kataang which I haven't shared yet. Part of me thinks I should wait to answer your ask until I've finished the series; it's obvious to me that these two are being set up to be the big finale couple, which means if I talk about them now I'm probably missing the pieces I need to have a full, well-rounded opinion. But you know what? I feel like talking about them now. So here goes.

Short answer: It peeves me that Aang comes from a culture that seemingly doesn't even have parents, yet he still manages to date his mother.

Long answer: they're both way too young. I'm a huge fan of letting the kids be kids for as long as possible. Especially with these kids, who have been prevented from being kids by the war. As Katara points out in the opening scene of the very first episode, she's been the mother since her own died (or at least she feels like she has had to be the mother). Call me crazy, but I'd rather Katara spend a few years after the war doing dumb childish stuff to recapture that lost childhood than jump straight into a relationship. Isn't the safety and space to do dumb childish stuff one of the things those who are trying to end the war are fighting for? Shouldn't she get to enjoy that? And Aang is just way too young no matter what way you look at it. He's 12 right? I think that would make him a grade 6 student. Back in my day (yells at cloud) Grade 6 students collected yugioh cards and feuded over who had the snazzier lunch box. I could picture a 12 year old having a crush on a slightly older girl that goes to the same school, but it would be short lived and unactionable. I guess Katara would be around 14? So, a grade 8 student. A grade 8 girl would not date a grade 6 boy. It would just never happen.

They've both got bigger fish to fry. Aang is the last Air Nomad AND the current Avatar. When he fully takes on both of those positions, what time will he have for a girlfriend? Katara is the only Southern Waterbender. Whether or not she wants the responsibility, it will be her duty to single-handedly reconstruct a huge portion of her nation's culture from the ground up once she returns south. Does she have the time to ping pong around the globe mothering her boyfriend as he rides giant animals or does Avatar stuff? Say she wants to: what will her family and the rest of her tribe think of the only person who can access such a huge part of their culture riding off into the sunset?

Their current relationship dynamic is still too mother/son. This is more obvious in season 1 than in season 2 (maybe that's growth?) but you can't depict a male/female pair as pieta and then expect me to ship. I think this could change somewhat, but I've already been disappointed in that. I thought that once Katara had mastered waterbending and therefore felt she had something other than mothering to contribute to the group, she would back off with the mothering. And she did, a little, but not enough for my tastes. Maybe as Aang fully steps into the Avatar role and the last Air Nomad role (sidenote: no idea what the latter would look like) he'll move on to a more equal relationship with Katara.

I think Katara is meant for better things than rebirthing a nation. Bending seems to be at least somewhat genetic. So if Aang wants Airbending in any form to survive after his death, he's going to need a billion kids. While I could definitely see Katara wanting children, I don't see her as the barefoot pregnant type.

I'm not convinced that Aang has a clear picture of Katara. She has flaws, which is good! Does Aang see them?

I get the feeling that, while they are helping each others' skills grow as they travel the globe, they are also preventing each others' personalities from growing. As long as Aang is around, Katara has someone to mother. As long as Katara is around, Aang has someone who prevents him from feeling the full weight of his responsibilities. Again, this is worse in season 1, but how often did Katara deny that Aang was to blame for something that was at least somewhat his fault? Aang will never become a fully rounded person until he can look at his flaws and mistakes dead on and say "my bad" without a Katara in the background going "no you're perfect!" Katara deserves to find out what kind of person she is outside of a nurturing role. Quick thought experiment: what if you pair Katara with someone who needs no nurturing, or better yet, nurtures her? And what if you pair Aang with someone as bluntly truthful as Toph? Katara and Aang might find both of those situations uncomfortable at first, but I think it would contribute to their growth.

Aang having a crush on an oblivious Katara would be a great single season arc. I think it would fit both of their characters well, and I think Aang growing past latching on to the first person he saw after the iceberg would be a good way to show that he's rooting himself in his time-displaced present, and fully committing to ending the war. And don't get me wrong, I love Aang and Katara both as a fighting team and as friends.

These kids are all fighting a war, and all kids. I don't mind the supporting characters having romances, because it's not like Sokka or Suki can end the war, no matter how hard they try/might want to. But I'm a big believer in doing one thing at a time, and I think if you're the only person in the whole world who can end a war, then ending the war should take precedence over dating. I'm aware that that's an unrealistic expectation and out of step with the show's theme of balance. In the real world, birth rates skyrocket during war time because people live for the moment and grab happiness (read boinking) wherever they see it. But both these kids are pre-boinking age so I'm going to be a cranky old fart about it.

Being the wife of the Avatar is a position that will often come with being relegated to second place, especially with the amount of work that undoing a century of war will take. Although she works well in a team, Katara is a naturally dominant personality. Katara did enough of putting herself in second place before the series started. I think Katara could very easily fall into the pattern of subjugating her own needs and desires and putting her husband's first, but I don't want that to happen. And one way to prevent that from happening is to prevent her from dating the single most politically important person in the universe. (To be clear, Aang would never deliberately squish a wife like that, I just think the workload of being Avatar and last air nomad would cause that to happen)

A lot of my objections to this pairing are very adult objections. I don't know what I would have thought about this pairing when I was the age of the show's target audience. It undoubtedly would have bothered me less, although I probably would have been put off by how twee it is. As an adult, all I can see are babies playing house.

As for the comics, I hadn't made any concrete plans to read them. I don't know where I'd get access to them. I'm not sure how canonical they are. I guess I should probably decide whether or not I want to read them after I've finished the whole series. I've been told that my girl Jin appears in one of them, so I definitely have some interest. I have also had the Avatar Kyoshi novels strenuously recommended to me. But so much of Avatar's charm, to me, is in the medium. And while comics are closer to animation than books are, they're still static. Avatar does movement so well.

[mauesartetc]

Have you seen vivzi's tweet regarding the mille situation?

Oh yeah. Though to be clear, it's not just one tweet; it's a motherfuckin' thread (with screenshots below for posterity).

I won't go over this whole thing point by point, but one aspect that jumps out at me is how Viv deflects responsibility from herself onto the viewers. If your audience doesn't fully "understand" your characters, that's a problem. It's your job as a writer to make them understand, and do it in the story you're telling, not on social media. Can't help but see shades of how gobsmacked Fennah was that his audience didn't get how one of his characters represented toxic relationships, despite that character amounting to a harmless, childlike pet.

While Viv's response doesn't demean the audience like Fennah's, it does come off as a tad arrogant, as if Millie being perceived as flat is the viewers' fault, not hers.

The second thing that stood out is the list of Millie's qualities: "She is resourceful, she has strong family ties and memories, she has sibling rivalry, she's excitable and hyper focused." Only three of those are actual personality traits, and I can't even remember her being "hyper focused" at any time. To me, that would suggest working long hours on some kind of project, too engrossed to notice hunger, thirst, or how much time had passed. I guess you could make the argument that she worked tirelessly to become the skilled fighter she is, but we never see that in the show. I'm not even sure how "strong" those family ties are considering Millie didn't even hug her mom when she saw her. Basically, this smacks of telling rather than showing, trying to convince us this is the case rather than letting us see for ourselves.

[Edit 6/10/23 Forgot to mention this tidbit: "we are literally on 3", meaning the third episode. Girl, no. You were literally on ten episodes total, and eleven/twelve (depending on whether or not the pilot counts) with the release of Western Energy. That's way too long to go without properly developing one of the main characters.]

Also, "we found more storylines that influenced Blitz"? You mean you created more storylines with him as the focus. You chose to follow those paths in Season 1. It didn't just happen to you. "Whoops! Tripped over this random plot! Guess I have to use it in an episode!" Obviously Blitzo is the main character so it makes sense that he'd have the most plots centered around him, but it's extremely telling that y'all gave absolutely none of the focus to Millie.

Let's look at the seven episodes of Season 1. Blitzo could be the focus of three, Moxxie could get one, Millie could get one, Loona could get one, and Stolas could get one, and you could save extra story ideas for Season 2. There ya go. Yes, seven episodes is a pretty short season with not much wiggle room to fit all the juiciest stories in, but there's definitely space to tease what's coming. Imply that there's more to these characters and this world than meets the eye. Make the audience hungry for more. This is a fan-funded Youtube series, after all; it's not like any networks or streaming services are threatening to pull the plug if the metrics aren't up to snuff.

Finally, the "this is a male-led show" excuse for female characters being underdeveloped is so weak, especially for an adult show that prides itself on social progressivism. You've got a handful of queer main characters and a trans side character, but fleshing out the women was a step too far-? Y'all are all about spotlighting LGBT stories, but anything resembling feminism that goes deeper than '90s-style "hey, this chick can fight!" girl power? Whoa, that's a bit too much, buddy.

Call me crazy, but shouldn't viewers get the impression that all of a story's principal characters have inner lives, regardless of gender? What is Millie like when she's alone, isolated from her relationships? What does she think about? How does she entertain herself without anyone to brawl with, or anything to hack into with an axe? The show hasn't given us any hints.

Honestly, if you're not good at writing female characters, you're allowed to say that. Yes, it's embarrassing to admit when you're a woman yourself, but if you grew up in a culture that promotes internalized misogyny and prioritizes masculine wants over feminine needs (which many of us did, let's be real), it's understandable. That shit's hard to unlearn. What might make it easier when it comes to characters, though, is what I like to call the Ellen Ripley method.

Challenge, Viv: Write a nuanced male character. Give him strengths and flaws, likes and dislikes, quirks and hobbies, strained relationships and happy ones.

Now make him female.

It really is that simple.

We'll have to wait and see how much that defense regarding Hazbin Hotel truly reflects reality, though if I were a gambler, I'd bet Alastor and Angel Dust will dominate the story and leave Charlie and Vaggie on the sidelines.

[leffee]

Could you rank "The Main 7 pets" from greatest to least based on their relationships with Vinnie in the show? That is, from the pet who has the best relationship with Vinnie to the pet who has the least close relationship with him.

Ok, so who has the closest relationship with Vinnie starting from the most:

Sunil - and no one's surprised. I mean they are best friends canonically and especially after season 1 they are so often shown together that it even bothers me sometimes because as much as I love those two I crave other Vinnie interactions, you know? Anyway, yeah Sunil is the closest to him, even if the little shit talks behind Vinnie's back sometimes. They're adorable together, especially when hugs and Sunil picks Vinnie up. Adorbs.

Penny - man those two are so fucking cute together can you blame me for shipping them? She is so affectionate and only with her Vinnie seems to be so comfortable when it comes to physical touch, I am not okay. All their interactions in "Two Pets for Two Pests" are absolutely golden and so cute, mostly the ones at the beginning. And also the first two names that came to Blythe's head together were Vinnie and Penny, huh? Damn, she ships them too. Actually, I need this, omw to watch those first scenes

[approximately 5 minutes later]

The progression of Vinnie jumping to her, Penny hugging him and then them so naturally changing their position to holding hands??? I am so normal about them. Don't even get me started on their interactions in the episode when they thought Penny was in the day camp for the last time. They love each other, real!

3. Russell - Russell is just kinda close to everybody in similar amount, huh? But him and Vinnie sure have their moments together, it mostly includes all the boys' moments so Sunil too they're three often shown doing things together and being kinda apart from the girls in certain episodes. Plus the moments when Russell is just like "Vinnie u stupid lemme explain cause I'm smarter-" or something like that :). Mostly the three boys together moments are here though.

4. Pepper - hmm, they are still pretty close I would say and to me at least Pepper in the most similar to Vinnie personality-wise, no, not Minka, Pepper. They are both just little shits together and I think that's great :). But she does bully him and hits him with that rubber chicken so idk about all that now. Still, she was the one who hugged him after he returned when being lost at that dumpster plus

pls neither of them might wanna look cute but... they just are (but also look at Penny and Sunil squishing in the background naaaw).

5. Minka - surprising since they're quite similar but it's not really Minka or Vinnie's fault. They're not thaat close because of the fact that Minka is the main pet with least screentime, focus, episodes dedicated to her, etc. Seriously, she is underrated by the creators who didn't give her a lot of time. The most they got together was in this one short "OOOOMg" or however many O's and M's it had, you know what I mean. And they were great there together but that's not a lot compared to what they could have had. Probably doesn't help that as much as I like this short there is one aspect that I roll my eyes at - Vinnie's hyperactivity in this one which is like... no. To me this was so out of nowhere, I get where that image of him being like that comes from but genuinely I don't think he ever did anything to be seen as hyperactive especially when compred to others. Idk, maybe it's just me cause lots of people seemed to be completely fine and even happy with that but I just don't see it, he's nowhere near as energetic as he was presented in this short. Anyway, his and Minka's interactions were still great.

6. Zoe - really they have barely any interactions as in with just them two. The most we got was in "Big Feathered Parade" and that's about it, perhaps that's the reason why those two together are my guilty pleasure so to the end Zoe goes. They would have such a girl-failure and girl-boss relationship I just know it and i crave it.

[butterflydm]

wot rewatch (book spoilers edition): 2x7

Spoilers for all the aired episodes, it will also have book spoilers through book 6: lord of chaos.

I was able to talk a lot about this episode without needing book spoilers, so this post is much shorter than my earlier one! Like incredibly short.

Thinking about this first scene in the context of Gitara and Tigraine is fascinating. Is Gitara still the person who told Tigraine to go out to the Waste in the first place, in the show's version of events? Because Gitara really is the secret mastermind of a lot of behind-the-scenes stuff.

Gitara essentially engineers the succession crisis in Andor that leads to Elayne being the Daughter-Heir, and Elayne is a very strong player for the Light in the Last Battle. Gitara engineers Rand's birth. And then she sets the threads in motion for Moiraine and Siuan's search for Rand.

The prophetic thread from Gitara (who seems to have been very reliable at figuring out the important bits of her Foretellings) to Elaida (literally The Worst at figuring out her Foretellings) is fascinating to think about. It's not the Talent that makes the woman, but the woman that makes the Talent.

And to pick up from the thread of duty that I was talking about in my earlier post --

Liandrin gave up everything for her son.

Anvaere gave up her son in order to do what is right.

Tigraine does both. She gives up her son (Galad) so that she can follow Gitara's Foretellings, abandoning her old life to save the world. But she also gives up everything for her son (Rand), fighting to the last to give birth, no matter what obstacles face her.

I do think that Tigraine (a former Daughter-Heir of Andor) definitely realized that her son would be the Dragon Reborn, once she was, you know, pregnant and about to give birth on Dragonmount. I feel like she probably figured it out (potentially much earlier than that, though it's hard to say when, exactly).

2. I am... I am genuinely wondering if we're going to skip straight to Moiraine and Rand actually being able to trust each other, and getting to be a team in the Aiel Waste. Because they have bonded so hard this season and Moiraine has made her loyalties painfully clear, especially in this episode and in 2x2 -- I choose Rand. I will protect him, I will guide him. I will trust him even when that trust is an act of faith instead of being based on reason. And that's really a point that she only openly reaches in the books during TFoH. And Rand has SEEN that she was willing to go against Tower on his behalf.

So, yeah. I am very very curious about what our s3 dynamic is going to be with these two. Will 2x8 do something to shift this dynamic or will we take it with us into s3?

3. I'm also... big ouch re: Alanna being one of three Aes Sedai in the entire world that Rand currently feels like he can maybe trust. Salt in the wound, there!

4. Could Siuan be under Compulsion, as I've seen some people speculate? I mean, I wouldn't put it past Liandrin, but we don't really see any opportunity for Liandrin and Siuan to be alone together. And I think all her choices and arguments in this episode feel pretty firmly grounded in what we know of her as a character from the show. So... you know, maybe? I wouldn't feel like the show was cheating if it told me that Compulsion was used to encourage Siuan to stick by Tower policy but I would not be surprised if this is just... Siuan making a different choice than the one that Moiraine makes.

The other possibility I've seen floated is that this was a deliberate ruse by either Siuan alone (to push Rand into trusting Moiraine) or by the two of them together but I feel like Siuan telling Leane "That boy must not leave the city" makes that theory much less likely. We have seen them performing a grand ruse before, of course, back in 1x6 but... I don't feel like the evidence is on the side of this one being a ruse. I feel like they say too many things that would need to be actual lies for this one to work, which is not possible given the Oaths.

Anyway, like I said, this book spoilers post is a short one!

my non-book spoilers post is much longer

[quietsamurai98]

So, thoughts on Doctor Who Season 1/14/40 now that it's over... MAJOR SPOILERS WITHIN!

It was... fine? I guess?

I've been doing a Doctor Who rewatch between the releases of the new episodes. Holding up the other seasons next to the new one throws some issues into sharp relief.

First and foremost, probably the root of most of the other issues... The episode count. The season was just way, way too short. Eight episodes (nine, including Church on Ruby Road) is just not enough time to fully flesh out the main characters and their relationship and dynamic, not enough time to build a cohesive storyline, and not enough time to pace the story correctly.

Second... I feel like the characters of the Fifteenth Doctor and Ruby Sunday just weren't explored as thoroughly as they should've been, and definitely not the relationship/dynamic between the two, especially when one episode (Dot and Bubble) has the Doctor and Ruby practically off screen almost all episode, and another (73 Yards) has the Doctor off screen all episode and Ruby basically stripped of all agency. A few more episodes could've done wonders for letting the audience get to know the characters better.

Third... The lack of a cohesive storyline. Yes, there are some recurring things (Susan Twist cameos, the TARDIS growling, the snowing, the pantheon), but it really felt like you could basically take episodes 1 though 6 and shuffle them, with minimal changes made, and it wouldn't make much of a difference. In fact, I'd be willing to bet that something like that happened in production, and that Devil's Chord was originally meant to air significantly later in the season before being moved up for Reasons™.

IMO, the best single season of NuWho was season 10, with Twelve and Bill Potts. God, I loved that season. Bill is probably one of my favorite companions, Twelve was firing on all cylinders,The ongoing mystery of What's in The Vault?, the exploration of Missy's character, and the finale... Actually, let me talk about the finale a bit.

I feel like Empire of Death fell a bit flat for me because it had stakes so comically high that they wrapped right back around to being completely meaningless. If all life in practically the entire universe is ended, there are no stakes left, because you know it'll be undone by the end of the episode. The ending is a forgone conclusion right from the beginning. And I'm sorry, but the twist being "there was no twist! this mythical, extremely important, deeply mysterious character is just some woman!" is just a shitty twist. It's deeply unsatisfying. It's only a twist because people didn't expect the story to be bad. And yes, yes, I get it, "everyone is important, in nine hundred years of time and space and I've never met anybody who wasn't important before, etc", but we've already done that! Twice! Donna Noble and Clara Oswald!

Compare that with the finale of season 10. It had reasonable stakes, stakes that the show could afford to lose without having to retcon everything. It had a satisfying twist with Missy deciding to kill The Master, and then a double twist with The Master killing Missy right back. And then, most importantly, the Doctor loses. He's up against impossible odds, and for once, he actually fails. That's how you do a damn twist in a show that constantly has the Doctor pulling impossible wins out of his back pocket! Of course, that's not the kind of twist you can pull all the time, but still. It's engaging. You're not just sitting there wondering "Oh, how are they going to retcon the apocalypse this time?" So yeah... I'd prefer to see losable stakes in the future. Or at least, stakes that aren't so catastrophically high that the only resolution is "they're gonna have to retcon it within the episode somehow".

For as much complaining as I've done, overall, I have to say that 1/14/40 was fine. It was solid television. A good 7/10. Not an internet 7/10, where anything below an 8 is dogshit, but an actual 7/10. It was better than average, but still pretty middling.

[lemotmo]

Yeah I'm still confused about Tommy's involvement in this storyline. (Also it doesn't help that I don't vibe with his character at all) Yes it started the Bi Buck story, but at the same time the whole relationship (if we can call it relationship yet) as been super rush. It just feels like they are trying to shove so many elements at the same time which doesn't give people time to see a connection developing.

Also I think what doesn't help me is that all the interview/cameo have been confusing me. It seems like Lou is there for an arc, but I have seen people saying that since the official Instagram follow him and that Oliver seem interested to continue to have Tommy there, he will be there for the whole season. (That interview where he could stay as a friend) Also saying that Tim was still writing that last 3 episode that it could change. I mean I'm pretty sure Tim as a vague ideas of where the major point of is story will go. If he does change it last second to include more Tommy then that will be pissed me off especially knowing that he was brought for an Eddie storyline in the beginning.

I hope he's gone soon. I was hoping episode 6, but it could be episode 7. This is a short season and I don't want them to to spend to much time on side character.

i don't know what to think anymore, but I think what doesn't help is how some part of the fandom try to make you feel guilty that you can't accept this new ship. I have been on a blocking spree and it feels great, but it hasn't be easy.

Sorry that was long, but just wanted to vent a bit and tell you I like some of your takes.

Exactly! Everything between Buck and Tommy is rushed and doesn't feel organic at all. It's a frustrating storyline for so many of us, because it just doesn't deliver on the romance. It's boring and dull and kinda just falls flat.

That's why I've got the strong suspicion that Tommy is only there to serve the narrative of Buck coming out as bisexual. He is a plot device to uncover this hidden side of Buck, but it doesn't make any kind of sense in the long run. 911 has been telling the Buck and Eddie story for so many seasons now. It feels organic and natural. There is a build-up and so much history between them. So why not use Eddie to give Buck his bisexual oh-moment? Simple, Buck needed to realise he was bisexual first. That way they can write a slow realisation of feelings for Eddie. Feelings that have always been there. Also, Eddie is still with Marisol at the moment. Any feelings reveal at this point would be so messy. This ship deserves better than this.

As for those interviews and cameos. Oliver always seems to rehash the same things: vague Tommy references and how he wants them to stay friends afterwards (which doesn't bode well for their romance), the kiss felt the same as a kiss with a woman, he is so damn proud to be able to play a bisexual man (GO Oliver! I love him for that!), if Buddie were to go romantic he would be open for it. He never really interacts with Lou directly or shares a lot of Tommy or bucktommy pictures. He just vibes with the fact that he is proud to play a bisexual character. Which... good for him!

As for Lou? He is all over the place. I like the guy, but he is very chaotic. But overall he has been pretty clear that he's only there for a little while. He is also still involved in other shows, so he won't have time to fully commit to 911 anyway. Next to that, even he has mentioned Buddie in his interviews and cameos. I mean... the fact that it was also pitched for him to be with Eddie? Yeah, Tommy is a plot device alright. It is always possible that Tim will try to milk Lou's popularity by extending his stay for a couple of more episodes, but overall I'm not too worried about his staying too long.

I know Tim is still writing some episodes of S7, but the main storylines are already set in stone by now. It's only the details and how to get from point A to B that still have to be worked out. I'd like to think that they wouldn't just change main storylines at the drop of a hat like that. Tim isn't always truthful when it comes to his comments on 911.

Okay, this is for everyone who needs to hear it:

Don't feel guilty for not vibing with a character or a ship!

Don't listen to haters who try to make you feel guilty about it. But also don't go out there to make other people feel guilty about shipping bucktommy. We all like what we like. All you can do is block haters and filter out the tags you don't want to see. Also, surround yourself with people who think alike. Trust me, there's a lot of us out there.

Lastly, I decidedly don't vibe with Tommy or bucktommy. I don't see any chemistry between them. But I also need to accept that this is where the storyline is right now. We have no other choice then to follow the narrative and hope it leads to something more interesting, like Buddie. We'll just have to wait and see and hope that the show is smart enough to follow the chemistry between Buck and Eddie, and not let themselves be swayed by the superficial and temporary popularity of one guest character.

Don't worry about venting here. I don't mind. These are trying times in the Buddie-fandom and we all need to let it out once in a while.

[satirates]

I decided to watch Ninjago from the beginning again since it's being a while. Some of these episodes I haven't watched since 2012, but most of them I haven't watched since 2019 when I had my big Ninjago phase. Here's my thought on each season's from what I remember (I'm curious to see how it will change): Season 1: Good season with good characters. The final was PHENOMENAL and I watched it, like, 20 times. Baby me absolutely loved Zane and Hated Lloyd for some reason (I think it's because he was a brat) 9/10 Season 2 : I was not a big fan of the first couple of episodes or the city setting, but I again loved the final. It was so awesome! Still hated Lloyd for no reason, even has a teenager. 7/10

Season 3 (Rebooted): I strongly disliked that season, but for an excellent reason. I waited so long for season 3 that I couldn't wait any longer to watch it when it's release... in English... A language I didn't speak at the time. So my entire season 3 experience was trying and failing to understand the plot of a very confusing scenario that ended in my favourite character dying. I must tell that I wasn't a fan at the time, lol. 2/10

Season 4( ToE): I did wait for the French dub to watch season 4 and 5 so at least I could understand what's happening. I really liked season 4. Discovering new elemental masters was really fun, and they really nailed the tournament aspect of it all. 8/10

Season 5 (Possession): I didn't like this season when I watched it in 2015, but I loved it when I rewatched it in 2019. I think it's because I don't like scary things, so the ghost theming was too spooky for me when I was a baby. Strangely enough, this is the season that made me like Lloyd. I just needed him to be menacing, apparently. 9/10

Season 6 (Skybound): First season I watched in 2019 after giving up on Ninjago mid-possession in 2015. I knew at the time it was a very controversial season, but I LOVED it. It was my favourite so far. Not only did this season had very high stake, the Djin was also a very interesting villain. 10/10

Season 7 (HoT) : I'm not going to lie, I barely remember anything about the Hands of times other than it being focus on Kai and Nya and their parents. I don't remember disliking it, but it was clearly not my favourite. I don't remember/10

Season 8 (SoG): I'm going to say the same things for every season of this trilogy: I loved it! I liked the new design a lot, the animation looked amazing, and the scenario was the best we ever had. This was so cool. 10/10

Season 9 (Hunted): Same has the precedent season, but even better! Definitely the best season from what I could remember. I still own so many Lego sets from this era of Ninjago haha. 12/10

Season 10 (MotO) : I don't dislike this season, but it felt too short. I was really disappointed to see how the stake rise in the last episode without the emotions really landing that well. A miss in my opinion. But that final with the tornado of creation ? Fire! 6/10

Season 11 ( SFS) : I have weird feelings about this one. I do like what they did with the 11 minutes format in some cases (especially in the more humorous episodes), but it also felt like it prevent the episodes from reaching their true potential (haha). Everything has to start and end way too fast. I did like the Fire and Ice theming and both Asphera and the forgotten realm. If entertaining, this season was a bit underwhelming. 7/10

Season 12 (Prime Empire): Same critiques for the 11min format with this season (and onward). But I did like this one way more! The video game theme was really well-made and discovering the universe was really the selling point of season 12 for me. My biggest problem with it was that they just copied the scenario of Skybound which wasn't really original. 8/10

Season 13 ( MotM) : A Cole season! Yeah! This is the last season I remember really liking . The setting and scenario were fascinating, but a bit too simple for my taste. I think I was just happy to see my boy get a season to himself after 10 years . 7/10

Season 14 (The Island) : I don't really remember anything about this one. It was okay, I guess? It was just a really weird release. 5/10

Season 15 (Seabound: I officially dropped Ninjago after the first 10 episodes of Seabound or so. Not necessary because they were boring, but I wasn't invested in Ninjago anymore. I know Nya became the ocean since I was spoiled, but I need to watch this season to make my own decisions about it. 6/10

Season 16 (Crystallize): Haven't watched it, but oh boy did I heard bad things about it. This is on my list of new content to consume for a while now, so I need to watch it sooner than later. One day I will know/10

So yeah, wish me good luck! I hope I don't end up disliking things I loved as a baby, that would suck.

[variousqueerthings]

You're monsters. Here you are, hiding away at the end of time. Do you even know why? Because you are hated.

Hell Bent... and I think this will be a funny old rating after Heaven Sent.... I wonder if I need to at one point in the future once I'm a bit less inured with this era of dw go back and watch capaldi's era again with somewhat unblinkered eyes, because my confession is that... I don't understand a lot of what happened in Hell Bent, and I'm not sure if it's because it's a whole lotta nonsense or because I've maybe gone a little too hard on watching this era in a relatively short timeframe

sexism rank objectification (female character is ogled/harassed/turned into a sex joke by the doctor and/or a lead we’re supposed to root for and/or the camera): 10/10

sexism rank plot-point (lead female character is only there to serve plot, not to have her emotional interiority explored, or given agency to her emotional interiority): 7/10

interesting complex or pointlessly complex (does the complexity serve the narrative or does it just serve to be confusing as a stand-in for smart, this includes visually): 2/10

furthers character and/or lore and/or plot development (broader question that ties into the previous ones, at least two of these, ideally three should be fulfilled): 7/10

companion matters (the companion doesn’t always have to be there, but if the companion is there, can they function without the doctor– and overall per season how often is the companion the focus or POV of the story): 6/10

the doctor is more than just “godlike” (examines the doctor’s flaws and limitations, doesn’t solve a plot by having it revolve entirely around the doctor’s existence): 4/10

doesn’t look down on previous doctor who (by erasing or mocking its importance, by redoing and “bettering” previous beloved plotpoints or characters, etc.): 7/10

isn’t trying to insert hamfisted sexiness (m*ffat famously talked a lot about how dw should be sexier multiple times, he sucks at writing it): 10/10

internal world has consistency (characters have backgrounds, feel rooted in a place with other people, generally feel like they have Lives): 3/10

Politics (how conservative is the story): 5/10

FULL RATING: 61/100 (if I can count….)

this rating is so fuckn funny to me. really up and down the scale! still, for anyone who's seen me rate a M*ffat finale before, this is by far the highest rated one. fuckn. easily. and all you needed to do, was centre the Companion character. didn't even need to write a plot that made sense (clearly)

OBJECTIFICATION: leaving on a high note, Clara is Not Objectified! neither is anyone else. gosh my standards are low sometimes.

PLOT-POINT: Clara is Not just a plot point in this either! woo! it takes us awhile to get to her, but then she has some pretty strong opinions, which she does enforce, on how she should be treated, which I think is especially Neat opposite Time Lords, who often tend to see humans (amongst many others) as inherently unimportant in the grand scheme of things

this episode honestly single-handedly gives me a lot of what I'd been constantly asking for with Clara, and while it is... well, it's very very very late into her run, it is nice that she leaves on a highnote. this idea of not wanting to die, and fighting against that death until it's on her terms is far more how I read Clara-as-character as well, versus the whole Thing in Face The Raven. thiiiis is who I see her as, at core

COMPLEXITY: so I actually went and looked at the wiki rundown of this episode and it states this -- "Aided by the Gallifreyan military, the Doctor usurps and exiles Lord President Rassilon. Now the new President, the Doctor learns that Rassilon imprisoned him in the dial to force him to confess about the Hybrid, which is prophesied by the Time Lords to stand in Gallifrey's ruins and unravel the Web of Time."

and I'm like, yeah, that's... that's what I thought happened uh, which... is all really dumb, as far as I can tell. wh- how did the Doctor's Confession Dial get to Gallifrey? why did they trap the Doctor in there as the best way to figure out the "truth" about the Hybrid? why does anyone think the Doctor knows anything about this in the first place? oh gosh, there's stuff here that belongs on the "godlike" doctor point, so I'll skip the "aided by the military" bit for now, but also... is this post-Time War then (yes, because they mention the Doctor is war hero... sigh) but... is Rassilon still in charge? how was that so easy???? what is the Web of Time, did we learn about this earlier???

all of this kind of -- as far as I can tell -- happens in the episode in a sort of "you know, all of this naturally a progression from one thing to the next" kind of way, and it's... it's not a natural progression! I've said a couple of times this season that it feels like I've missed an episode, but oh booooy does this episode hammer that home.

and that's just the opening, what happens next???

ok so the Doctor has the Time Lords retrieve Clara at the moment of her death, this is fine -- I mean, I still don't know why he's on Gallifrey to begin with, how they brought him there, or why they're doing as he tells them, but the Clara part of this story is actually the part that I enjoy!!! this is Clara's strongest episode this season and it's her goodbye! (well, I'm glad her goodbye episode doesn't suck actually, I'm glad she gets a nice send-off)

anyway then the Doctor and Clara run around Gallifrey for a bit, because technically Clara needs to go back and die, the Doctor steals a Tardis, all of this middle section, great, my love T'nia Miller is a Time Lord!!!! aw yeah!

then they go to the end end end of the Universe I guess and stumble over... Me! Me is fuckn! Still alive!!!!!!!! not a fucking scratch!!!!!!! how??????? why??????????? what is your purpose!!!!!!!

no, her purpose is to give this counterpoint about immortality and the Doctor, there's a metaphor here on idk. being this long-lived I guess. it's been done better before, numerous times, better with Jack, better with that guy in Lazarus Experiment, better in The God Complex, better with a whole buncha Time Lords, better in The Three Doctors, and I'm sure a whole host of other Classic!Who episodes I have yet to watch

the thing about Me is that she's introduced halfway through the season, her first episode is pretty good, her second episode is fiiine -- I'd say good even, on its own/in connection with the first episode, and then her third episode hits and I kinda... oh she's there to be an antagonist, but in a mysterious way where you're not sure where she stands, except she's made a whole bunch of errors, which she's not really enough of a character for me to feel any kind of sympathy with. when she realises she killed Clara, and she apologises, I don't care because she and Clara don't really have a relationship that makes it land for me

when she talks about the difficulties in setting up that refugee society, I don't care because I know we're not going to get anything really about this society and it's not going to influence the rest of the plot, and it didn't

she's such a thinly drawn character, that her use as a metaphor or a parable or a comparison or whatever she's meant to be doing is too loose for me to figure out what it is. it sucks to be immortal? I... I guess?

and now the Doctor wonders if she's not the Hybrid (which is the plottwist when the Doctor says "the Hybrid is me," he's actually saying "Me" as a name, fuckn... get it???) but... I still don't get why this Hybrid matters outside of a sudden prophecy or how it affects the greater universe that's been built. it feels like a last-minute addition to this season that they very quickly gave a few key characters a line here and there to allude to and then hoped it would stick. it makes no goshdarn sense!

technically I like this episode better than I've liked any other previous M*ffat-era finale episode, because it feels far more personal than any of those -- it's really about Clara saying goodbye on her own terms and that I really like

but the plot to get there is, as far as I can tell, nonsensical in its own internal logic.

oh, ok, to return to said plot, they're at the end of the Universe and Me -- the most immortal of all the immortals... somehow..... -- is just hanging out there in the ruins of Gallifrey, which... how'd she get there don't even worry about it, because we won't know and we've already apparently brought Gallifrey back into the main Universe somehow and I guess she just instinctively knew she'd come across the Doctor here or... idk, idkkkkk... I don't know. so much in this I don't know

the Doctor has a cunning plan to get rid of Clara's memory so that the Time Lords can't find her (?) and Clara overhears and rightfully goes "nuh-uh-uh, that's fucked up dude" (sure is, also... don't understand why it would work), but then she goes how about we basically roll the dice and one of us loses their memory and the Doctor says that sounds fair, and they do that and the Doctor has some brief Clara-amnesia

I don't understand why they do this. actually this is the main one that has me scratching my head. was it so that Clara could run while the Doctor was an amnesiac, is that what it was? I genuinely feel like maybe I just missed something on this one, but anyway, yeah, the Doctor pieces it back together, Clara runs off with Me in their Tardis (which the Doctor stole earlier) which got stuck as an American diner, the Doctor leaves in his Tardis, which had all the graffiti on it that Rigsy did, which disappears as the Tardis leaves

I think I need to rewatch that ending, because I was unclear actually on whether the Doctor remembers her face or not. it's not something that really bothers me in the way the rest of the plot-happenings in this episode do, but it's just something I wonder. I think that ending is good. I think it's bittersweet. I think it's a shame that Me doesn't feel more drawn, and that Clara didn't have much to do this season, so that them running off together felt like a natural next step, but I will take it as something one can definitely work with

I think it felt very natural to what I do feel I understand about Clara's character, and I like that she left the Doctor behind to go off on her own terms (honestly I never felt like she actually valued the Doctor much beyond what he was doing for her, but that's another post -- not like an "anti" post or anything, more of a "so Clara's kind of a messy bitch" post, which from what I've seen in fandom is something that's pretty chill of an opinion and in fact features heavily in why many people do like her character)

but yeah that plot... what?

CHARACTERS/LORE/PLOT: Clara is in suspension and will eventually die, but on her own terms. the Doctor is alone again.

Gallifrey is uh... still not sure tbh. that was confusing. Rassilon is deposed? is he? does it matter? I don't think it matters

I'll still rate this point highly, because it is another of the big switches in the story -- new companion will be coming up, let's see how these events affect the Doctor's relationship with her

COMPANIONS MATTER: Clara is more proactive in this episode than most any other of her run since... s7 I'd say. I'd have to double-check on that statement, but it has been a continuous Thing to me that Clara is there to talk fast, make witty comments, and either wait for the Doctor to give her instructions, or take matters into her own hands in ways that make her straight-up villain coded at times

in this one once she's on Gallifrey with the Doctor and they're running around in this spooky place, there's some Stuff she does, while the Doctor fetches the ersatz Tardis + she calls out the Time Lords for sucking, which is always winner behaviour

and then she decides when she dies, in the future... the long way round. still not sure about the whole mindwipe thing, but at least that's on her terms as well (although again... not villain coded but certainly unhinged and for what, that one)

“GODLIKE” DOCTOR: there's this bit at the beginning that I find insufferable, where the Doctor returns to the barn they were raised in (I do think it's funny that s7 showed the barn and then s8 was like "no yeah they were literally raised in a barn") and all the Shobogans (I'm assuming?) gather around, whispering tales of this super cool basically mythological figure, and then Rassilon orders the troops to capture the Doctor and the Doctor simply sends them off by being so cool, and then at the end Rassilon goes "fuckit kill him" and the troops are all going "no, this guy's a War Hero" and join with the Doctor and depose Rassilon for the sake of how fuckn Cool this guy is

it's everything I dislike in Who boiled into like. what was it 15 minutes or whatever of television?

also the Doctor then just steals another Tardis and runs off again, why did we need this whole build-up, there were other ways to get the Doctor to the citadel (like just straight up capturing him, you're being depicted as a military state, wtf do you care if someone has a good reputation in a war, even your super special war, and also why is the Doctor banking on this reputation, what is this whole bit saying???)

ohhhhhhhh it's soo. urgh. for the rest of the episode, the Doctor doesn't actually take centre stage so much in my opinion. once Clara is back, yeah there's some "ooh the Doctor what'll he do now" but mainly it's Clara with a bit of Time War lore sprinkled in, and then the whole bit at the end of the Universe where they reveal... do they reveal the Hybrid? is it just "the Doctor did too much to help Clara and that was bad"? genuinely does the Hybrid come up again ever???

but yeah that beginning.... at least Capaldi actually does look cool, whenever they tried something like this with Matt Smith, I was like, why is everyone staring in awe at a 12yr old?

PREVIOUS DOCTOR WHO: what is the Time War anymore but a way to make the Doctor's street cred go up?

there is stuff, like the Tardis looking like the 1963 Tardis, "reverse the polarity," the memory wipe references Donna, the Bad Wolf motif inexplicably shows up (I do wonder what that has to do with this episode) -- it's just the way that war is talked about makes my skin itch, otherwise relatively chill

“SEXINESS”: and thus, we send Clara on her next journey, happy in the knowledge that JLC, along with Capaldi, cured this run from terrible sexy dialogue

INTERNAL WORLD: Gallifrey as society? I hardly knew her. Military politics? dictatorship? Shobogans? idk, here's a barn, and now here's some. rooms. end of the Universe Gallifrey? uh. is also there

I think especially after setting up so many questions in the previous episode and ending it on that shot of the Citadel, this is kind of a let-down

POLITICS: so it's not really that political, but I did highlight the military element a few times, and I do think there should be more to it on this show than "this war guy good and that war guy bad because this is the hero and you're not." there has been more gravitas given to it than that, including in M*ffat's run so idk why... this.....

I also think the Doctor's own political relationship with Gallifrey is kind of not really a Thing in this -- and the Doctor has a more complicated relationship that "Time Lords Bad/Good" or even "always outside the Status Quo." The Doctor has done Status Quoing before, even though they're technically not a big fan of a lot of the setup in this place, but in this story none of that is really what's interesting

also a brief extra moment of "oh now I'm regenerated into a Woman, I realise that the other me was so full of Testosterone and Ego" that... ok we get it, you're trying feminism on for size. now we just need to get into the third wave, at least

FULL RATING: 61/100 (if I can count….)

AFTER ALL OF THAT, Clara leaves on a high. isn't that funny.

but seriously, there's so many questions I have, and if they do in fact get answered in the episode, mea culpa and all that, but uh. yeah, I was going "wait what's going on? why?" the entire way through

sometimes nonsense has gotta be gotten through in service to emotional pay-off, I guess. Au revoir Clara, hope you have a lovely time doing exactly what you've been doing before: getting into a toxic relationship with an ancient being in a time travel machine

(and next episode we say goodbye to River as well, lotta fuckn goodbyes happening huh)

similar question to last episode, why is it called Hell Bent? (I really need to get that list of questions together so I can do a concentrated search)

[johanna-swann]

Did anybody else find this episode a little... Idk, underwhelming? Too simple? Because of course there were parts I liked and enjoyed very much, but I also felt like a lot of it fell flat. Maybe it's just that we already new a lot going in and that it was veeeery predictable, but still. In parts, it felt almost like a character study.

The first couple of minutes were pretty fun. With the bachelor party, Chim not wanting a bachelor party and Buck and Eddie going "well screw what he wants, we're having a party!". I didn't mind that this part was relatively short either, it just served as a little fun moment and as an introduction to the main conflict of the episode.

[On a side note: I feel like they're leaning heavily into Buck being an awkward mess this season. He has always been impulsive and doesn't always think before he speaks, but the second-hand embarrassment levels are off the charts this season. Might be just a me thing though, idk.]

Anyway. Once they realise that Chimney is missing, the reason behind his disappearance is cleared up quickly. It's not particularly mysterious or dramatic or complicated (he has a fever and got disoriented) and then nothing much happens anymore?

We see the other characters looking for him, but aside from a very small scene were Maddie worries she put to much pressure on this wedding there's not much emotion here? They're all very pragmatic about it, it feels like just another day on the job.

Meanwhile Chimney has some more hallucinations while wandering about. Tbh, I hate that they brought Doug back. What was the purpose behind this? He's been dead for five years, Maddie has been in therapy about it and Chimney dealt with his feelings about Maddie's first marriage last season before he proposed. Just. Why?

The actual wedding at the end also only takes up about 6 minutes. This part, again, is kinda sweet. Very much predictable though.

In general, not a single surprising thing happened in this episode (aside from Doug). We knew Chim would disappear. We knew the wedding wouldn't go down as planned and that it was probably gonna end in a smaller impromptu ceremony. We knew Buck would come out to the rest of the team, but that it wouldn't be a big deal. We knew that Madney still would get married this episode. We knew there was going to be a happy ending.

So yeah. There is an entire half hour in the middle of the episode where barely anything happens. We don't see the other main characters' feelings about their missing friend. There's not B- or C-plot drama with the Buckley parents or Chimney's father or anything. It's really just Chimney stumbling about and the others looking for him.

Which, as I mentioned, made this episode feel like a character study on Chimney. Even Maddie didn't have much to do this episode. I think maybe a lot of the emotional impact got lost in editing, they had to cut like 30 minutes of screentime off of 7x06?

TL;DR: Despite some rather heartwarming scenes, the plot felt very thin for an episode that was promoted as this huge mid-season event, the wedding we've been waiting for, especially because we waited 3 weeks for it instead of just 1.

Now, before I just send out all these sceptical, negative thoughts, here some things I really liked:

The Lees were such an important part of this episode. They are Chimney's family, he grew up with them, they're home. The importance of found family has been dying down a little bit during the recent seasons (Eddie trying to be better with his parents, the Buckley parents showing up more, even Chim's father is somewhat forgiven his shortcomings). But the Lees rightfully got their screentime here.

I do like that they establish how Chim's little adventure had nothing to do with the bachelor party. It's not that Buck and Eddie irresponsibly lost the groom, it's completely unrelated.

The coming out was also a little underwhelming, but then again this was Madney's episode and who knows, maybe they'll follow up on this at a later point.

Bobby officiating the wedding with their entire family huddled into that one hospital room was really sweet.

Chimney triaging that emergency was so cool. That's just who Chimney is at his core, even when he's hallucinating and thinks it's 2004.

[theowritesfiction]

Okay, so I have been watching The Bear, and I eventually got into the show over the course of S1, but now watching S2, it’s really pissing me off, I think it’s one of the most disappointing sophomore seasons in the history of TV, and I want to rant about it.

But first I wanted to address the rave reviews this show is getting on RT, especially the glowing audience reviews (I don’t give a rat’s ass about the critic reviews, there’s too much group think, peer pressure, conformism and paid shilling going on there that it’s not worth looking at). I looked at the audience reviews in more detail and immediately realized that the ‘people’ giving this show 5-star reviews all follow the same naming convention like Adam F, Christina V, Sam R, etc. In short – almost all of them are bots posting AI generated tripe. The 93% audience review aggregate is a complete sham.

Anyway, why do I hate S2? Well, I found this web article 10 Unpopular Opinions About the Bear and figured I’d look at them to see whether I agree or disagree. So, here we go.

10. The Bear Should Have Continued With The Beef, Not Gone Fine Dining

Yes, fuck yes. The chaotic atmosphere of a greasy spoon/rundown sandwich shop was what made the show. Transitioning to fine dining creates this immediate pretentious vibe that’s completely at odds with S1 mood/themes. And while shows always need to keep evolving, I feel like this was way too radical shift from one end of the spectrum to the very opposite end. Also, I haven’t been to Chicago and don’t know too much about the city, but I have a pair of eyes that still work, and they tell me that this is not a fucking fine dining location, like, it’s just not.

9. The Bear Should Have Stopped After Season 1

Why? Just make a season that doesn’t suck.

8. The Bear Symbolism Is Too On The Nose

I don’t care about the symbolism. It’s handled so ham-fistedly that it literally adds nothing to the show.

7. Ayo Edebiri Is Not A Good Sydney

Disagree. I know Sydney is a polarizing character (although if you want to find out actual valid reasons why someone might not like her, do expect that you’ll have to wade through a disturbing amount of hatred for ambitious black women), but her ‘problematic’ jerk moments are interesting to me, and I think are well acted.

6. Marcus Was Right to Keep Working on his Donuts

Obviously not, Marcus is a part of a brigade, work shift is no time for his pet projects. That said, the episode of Marcus in Copenhagen is the most boring episode in recent TV history. 35 minutes on basically telling me that he leveled up his cooking skill. That could have been an e-mail.

Also, this is why I hate fine dining. Instead of making delicious donuts, this guy spent months training how to prepare pretentious desserts that only the rich 1% will be able to afford. Good job, Marcus, you’re now ready to lick the boots of the rich elites.

5. Richie Was The Real Victim Of The Bear Season 1, Episode 7

No, and triple fuck Richie, the worst character of past decade in TV history. I remember reading one of the anti-Sydney threads on reddit hellhole, and people were posting in masses about how ‘well at least Richie isn’t as bad as Sydney’ and ‘at least Richie gets his redemption’. I’m now at S2E7 and I’m still waiting for this asshole to show any redeeming qualities. I don’t know, maybe I’ve had one too many toxic coworkers like Richie, but I hate this guy an unreasonable amount, I want to stick ice picks in his eye sockets and leave him to bleed out as a service to humankind.

4. The Bear Season 2 Was A Letdown

Yeah, no shit.

3. (ignored as it deals with S2 finale spoilers)

2. People Should Ship Sydney & Marcus, Not Syd & Carmy

Hard disagree. People can ship who they want, but both of these pairings will be dysfunctional. As someone who’s all about shipping, I will be the first to say that this show shouldn’t be about ships. All of these people are completely toxic workaholic assholes who have no time for relationships and should never consider entering one. Syd/Marcus and Syd/Carmy is essentially marrying your job for the second time.

1.      Claire's Story In The Bear Season 2 Didn't Work

Again, no shit, and what I’m going to say shouldn’t be taken as an insult to Claire, I have nothing against her character, but rather to the way she was used. Claire is pretty much used to show that Carmy is unable to have normal healthy romantic relationships. But I already knew that from everything the show told us about Carmy before introducing Claire, so I feel like the show is treating me like a child by talking down to me and repeatedly pointing out the obvious. In the end, Claire is reduced to being a completely unnecessary story vehicle to tell us something we already knew, with no agenda of her own.

So yeah, as you can tell, it’s been a very rough watch. I definitely do NOT recommend The Bear to anyone. Do yourself a favor and stay well away.

[sheacouleecametoslay]

Season 1 (2009)

Yeah, this season has certainly aged like milk. There's very little about Season 1 that resembles Season 14. Everything feels so low budget here. The show looks a vintage 1970s porn movie that was filmed in Ru's basement. The challenges are meh - especially that Destiny's Child one. I mean the first mini-challenge involves the queens doing glamour shots against cars, and it looks like it was filmed in a Wendy's parking lot. Also the Vaseline filter makes it hard to appreciate the runway looks. Ru has this serenely calm voice compared to modern seasons that makes the whole thing feel like a fever dream. And the Werk Room is so small. Not to mention the season is painfully short, so it doesn't feel like I got properly fall in love with the queens. The Makeover had the worst judging imo, but what else is new. Queens Ranking: 9. Jade Just something about her attitude was off-putting to me. She was the most forgettable in the Oprah challenge. And then she got was eliminated because she touched Rebecca during the lip sync. A shame since Jade probably should've won that one. 8. Victoria "Porkchop" Parker She's an icon in the community to this day for being the first person ever booted from the series. And she seemed nice enough on the show. But that runway look in the premiere was terrible - she really brought a bucket of what looked like cream corn??? and then she stumbled around stage during the lip sync. Tragic. 7. Rebecca Glasscock How she made final 3 is still a mystery to the fandom. I understand the reasoning for why she won the Makeover challenge, since her and partner wore the exact same outfit, but those outfits were so basic! I felt for her when she got emotional talking about HIV in that one challenge though. But then she walked off AGAIN during the F3 music video challenge and I was over it. 6. Akashia What a trainwreck. She was so bad as the team leader during episode 2. She fumbled the choreo. And she fell over the runway. But I guess she was the first ever lip sync assassin, even if she beat two people who weren't really trying. 5. Tammie Brown Quite possibly the strangest person I've ever seen on this show (which will be reflected even more in my AS1 ranking). The way she talked back to Ru during the reunion was certainly a moment. But that lip sync was so bad and her costume was falling apart during that challenge... when she was the one in charge of costumes. 4. Shannel She seemed cold, serious, competitive, and overconfident. But I can appreciate what she brought to the season. I liked some of her looks, especially the one in episode 3. And her juggling on the runway to save herself from the bottom was LOL. Her "quitting" the competition was a memorable moment too; as was her headpiece falling off during her lip sync. Also lol at her talking too much in those challenges. 3. Ongina My favourite in the early season and the first ever "shock" elimination in the show's history. It took being in the bottom 2 against the eventful winner for her to leave (it was the episode where Ru had to walk off stage to think over the decision). It's always the Makeover challenges that create a speed bump for the front runners. But yeah, loved her style on the runway. She had some of my favourite looks this season. 2. Nina Flowers She grew on more and more as the season went along. I love her aesthetic, it felt very unique for the season. She had my favourite entrance look too. Her confusing "Hit TV" with "HIV" was certainly a moment though. 1. BeBe Zahara Benet Season 1 got it right with the winner. Ongina might have been my initial fave, but Bebe really sold me by the end. She's fabolous. She had the best runway looks, including the episode 3 Ru-veal, which was my favourite look of the season. And her verse in the "Cover Girl" rumix kinda served? I think she helped elevate the runways for future seasons too. And she won the Oprah challenge, which was the only comedy challenge this season had. I don't think she should've been in the bottom for the Makeover either. Favourite entrance: Nina Flowers Challenge ranking: 1. Drag on a Dime (Design) 2. Channelling Oprah (Improv) 3. Mac Viva-Glam (Advert) 4. "Cover Girl" music video 5. Absolut Ball 6. Makeover 7. Destiny's Child girl group battle (Choreo) Lip Sync ranking: 1. BeBe Zahara Benet vs Ongina ("Stronger") 2. Akashia vs Shannel ("Greatest Love of All") 3. BeBe Zahara Benet vs Nina Flowers ("Cover Girl (Put the Bass in Your Walk)") 4. Jade vs Rebecca Glasscock ("Would I Lie To You?") 5. Rebecca Glasscock vs Shannel ("Praise You") 6. Akashia vs Tammie Brown ("We Break the Dawn") 7. Akashia vs Victoria "Porkchop" Parker ("Supermodel")

[beacon-lamp]

with hermitcraft season 7 slowly coming to an end, i figured it was time to consolidate all of the Informative Posts about hermitcraft that i and some of the other members of hermitblr have made over the last several months.

if you enjoy:

minecraft youtube content, but want to see more traditional vanilla minecraft gameplay like building and redstone

fun, lighthearted interactions between genuine friends including Elaborate pranks, collaborating on massive projects, light roleplay, proximity voice chat mod

weekly 20 - 40 minute long youtube videos and consistent upload schedules

chill grind stream weekends where CCs interact with chat and each other

an entire youtube channel dedicated to weekly 20-minute recap videos on what all the hermits have been up to so you don’t have to piece it together from the posts on your dash/timeline

insanely talented people who have been doing mcyt for nearly, if not more than, a decade and essentially built minecraft youtube from the ground up

give hermitcraft a try!  

you will find all of the information you will Ever Need below the cut.  it’s Very Long so view it on desktop.

and if you ever have any more questions, just shoot me an ask :)

what is hermitcraft?

the Basics: what, who, where, how

more details on the Basics

bonus: the historical impact many hermitcraft members have had on mcyt

where do i even start watching?

start with grian.

good mix of Incredible builds and fun server shenanigans.  instigator of many server-wide events.  interacts with many other hermits.  generally entertaining to watch.  but zero redstone knowledge.

check out hermitcraft recap.

great way to be introduced to other hermits and learn what everyone’s up to.  if you find what a hermit’s been working on interesting, go watch their video and maybe give them a like and subscribe.

official hermitcraft website with links to every member’s channel

more information on every hermit’s attributes and general vibes

do hermits every stream?

short answer: yes, most do!  but these streams are mostly chill grinding or buildling streams.  and you don’t have to watch the streams to be caught up on content.  check the official hermitcraft website for each member’s twitch links.

long answer that covers most of the hermits

what do they do on hermitcraft?

let’s start with some examples of their incredible builds.

hermit cribs: some of the megabases in s7

goodtimeswithscar’s s7 magical village with shaders

stressmonster’s bakery and ren’s star wars world

Capitalism

they have a shopping district where hermits can set up shops and sell items and resources that other hermits can buy with diamonds.  here’s season 7 shopping district set on a mooshroom island:

some of the most advanced redstone you’ve ever seen

if you’re more into the technical side of minecraft, you can be rest assured that hermitcraft has some of the Biggest Brains in redstone.

tangotek: a fucking madlad.  Singled-handedly created the minigame Decked Out.  im Begging you to watch his tutorial video on how to play.  currently finishing up his Among Us but in minecraft minigame. all of this was built Entirely in survival vanilla minecraft.  get this man to 1M subscribers.

mumbo jumbo: the man himself.  built a 128 x 128 block industrial district in both season 6 and 7 packed to the Brim with mechanical farms.  half the brain behind the masterpiece of engineering that was Sahara in season 6.  currently working on Pacific, the sequel to Sahara, in season 7.

iskall85: the other half of the brain behind Sahara and working on Pacific with mumbo in season 7.  also has an industrial district like mumbo’s in season 7.

xisuma: built an automatic potion brewer in the second half of season 7.  this thing churns out potions by the Shulker Box.  can also turn a shulker box full of potions into splash potions and extend duration all with a press of a button.

impulseSV: incredible example of form + function.  farms are scattered throughout his base.  he has a farm for nearly every farmable resource in vanilla minecraft.

etho: the pioneer of some of the most widely used redstone mechanisms to date.  content isn’t super redstone-focused.  mostly does compact modules that serve a specific function.

zedaph: makes strange contraptions.  he’s basically if grian knew how to redstone.  impeccable vibes and fairly underrated.

bdoubleo100: he occassionally does this segment called “redstone with bdubs” and it’s the only redstone i understand so that’s why he’s here.

what about roleplay?  and lore?  

yeah they have Plenty of that too.  

it generally comes in the form of self-contained storylines that involve most members on the server and take place over the course of several weeks in multiple videos.  it’s fairly light roleplay, if that’s not your thing.  but the plotlines also have a Massive Potential to be angsty and whatnot if you really look into it, which a lot of people also do.

here’s a more in-depth look into the Major Plotlines over the last 2 seasons (season 6 and 7).  huge spoiler warning though.

um also there’s this post that highlights how truly cursed hermitcraft can be if you dig deep enough hahaha.

so do the hermits only make hermitcraft content?

nope!!  many of them are involved in other mcyt content as well and are friends with other prominent members of the mcyt community!!  

MCC

mcc9 blue bats video essay: the time the hermit team won the whole damn competition.  a wonderfully made video worth Every second of your time.  especially if you don’t typically watch the hermit teams.

falsesymmetry: mcc10 ace and mcc’s First Back-to-Back Winner

lord grian dreamslayer: that time grian Popped Off, killing dream, tubbo, and fundy in mcc9 survival games

Vault Hunters

a modded minecraft server coded entirely by iskall85′s team.  all the content is streamed live on twitch.  

current members are: Iskall85, AntonioAsh, Stressmonster101, HBomb94, CaptainSparklez, Fundy, CaptainPuffy, 5UP and Tubbo

more info on the series 

3rd Life SMP

hardcore minecraft server with a twist that started on 4/20/21.  all content is posted to each member’s respective youtube channels.

every member has 3 lives, as indicated by the color of their name: green for 3 lives left, yellow for 2, red for 1.  if they lose all three lives, they can only spectate the world (like in hardcore mode).  the series ends when all members have lost all three lives.

the twist: once a member is on their 3rd and final life, as indicated by a red name, they are Hostile and their goal is to take the lives of the remaining players.

the members (hermits are italicized): BdoubleO100, bigbst4tz2, Etho, GoodTimesWithScar, Grian, impulseSV, InTheLittleWood, Renthedog, Skizzleman, Smajor1995, Smallishbeans, SolidarityGaming, Tango, ZombieCleo

the tumblr tag for 3rd Life is “#3rdLife”, “#3rdLifeSMP” and “#3LSMP” if you wanna see more content, as it’s Not supposed to be cross-tagged with “#hermitcraft”.

do you have any free serotonin to spare?

here’s a bunch of posts that’ll make you smile

scar’s friendship with a bunch of the hermits

grian, false, cleo, bdubs, iskall: why they deserve so much respect

same post as above but with an addition about ren

small hermit things that give you serotonin

why you should watch tfc

if you’ve made it this far you are Contractually Obligated* to watch one (1) hermitcraft episode and reblog this post.

*for legal reason, this is a joke.  you’re not contractually obligated but consider this: Please. i spent way too much time on this.

shoutout to everyone who’s posts i’ve linked and anyone who has helped answer a question about hermitcraft.  this all started because i was frustrated that people were writing the hermits off as cannon fodder in mcc and im genuinely so glad that many of you have given hermitcraft a shot.

[babymetaldoll]

DIWK: Chapter eleven: "Can't get you off my mind"

|Word count:  9,7K

Summary:  Reader struggles with her feelings for Spencer and tries to work with Seaver. Neither of those things works. Spencer's headaches are getting worse. Also, it's Anderson's birthday! Things are getting a little more complicated.

Warnings:  Hardcore fools in love. It's getting painful to watch. Spoilers of Criminal Minds Season 6 Episode 11. 25 to life. Cursing, and frustration. Alcohol consumption. Assholes being blind.

A/N: Please don't hate me! but these two are just so blind, it hurts!

Masterlist

Chapter one | Chapter two | Chapter three | Chapter four | Chapter five | Chapter six | Chapter seven | Chapter eight | Chapter nine | Chapter ten | Chapter eleven | Chapter twelve | Chapter thirteen | Chapter fourteen | Chapter fifteen |

.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.

Spencer's point of view

Psychotics in a break always evolve. Well, I was psychotic at that minute of my life, but the only things evolving were my migraines. They were driving me insane. I could feel them taking over my life, my head, my sanity. I could feel my good judgment slipping through my fingers every day, especially since (Y/N) had started acting strange.

It wasn't like she had stopped talking to me or hanging out with me. But I could feel a void growing between us every day. And it was driving me insane. I couldn't understand where it had come from. I just knew it was eating me alive.

Morgan was having a bad day. One really bad day. The man he had vouched for parole had just murdered a man after nearly 70 hours of freedom, and now the team was trying to solve the whole case. Don Sanderson claimed he had been framed guilty of the murder of his wife and baby daughter, but after 25 years in prison, the first thing he did as a free man was to murder someone else.

It made no sense.

We had visited the murder scene. Hotch was still on a leave, so it was just Prentiss, (Y/N), Morgan, Rossi, Seaver, and I. Emily was in full "training agent's duty," walking Seaver through every step of the procedure, which was very nice of her. It was her first case after the incident in New Mexico, and she was eager to do better work than that time. She was nearly jumping all over the place, taking notes.

I talked with Garcia on the phone because he was worried about Morgan, and then I walked to (Y/N), who kept a safe distance from Emily and Seaver.

- "The bullets were in the other room, but the gun is right here,"- I said as I looked around the room. (Y/N) turned to me, ready to speak her mind, but Ashley spoke first, which annoyed her beyond belief.

- "Maybe killing him was an accident."

I looked at my best friend as Prentiss and Ashley continued talking. She just crossed her arms and walked around the room. She surely wasn't dealing well with having Seaver around. I wanted to ask her something, anything, but nothing came to mind.

- "Sanderson was out of prison for what, Reid?"- I answered Emily's question but didn't even turn to look at her. My eyes were following (Y/N), moving around that room.

- "At the time of the murder, 51 hours."

- "He's free for 2 days and change? What's the big hurry to find this guy?"

- "Are you ok?"- I whispered and stood next to (Y/N) as Prentiss and Ashley kept analyzing the scene.

- "Yeah, just tired."

- "Do you wanna have dinner with me tonight? I didn't see you this weekend, and I thought we could do a movie night."

(Y/N) took her time to answer, but finally, after a moment, she nodded and agreed.

- "Movie night sounds nice."

- "Great, ‘cos I rented your favorites."- I might have sounded more excited than I should, but I had really missed her those days, and I may or may not have watched and read Pride and Prejudice a couple of times.

- "Did you? Really?"

- "Yes, I was hoping to spend some time with you."

- "Are you coming, Spence?"- Seaver interrupted us and looked from the door- "Rossi called. They are interviewing Sanderson at the BAU."

- "Yeah, we are coming,"- I answered and looked away. (Y/N) shook her head and walked outside in silence the second Prentiss called my name, and I couldn't follow her. Which, I guess, was a good thing.

- "Is everything ok?"- Emily stayed behind with me. She raised an eyebrow, watching (Y/N) walking out of the room as Ashley waited for us by the door.

- "Yes?"- my answer came more as a question because I honestly didn't know what to say- "Everything is ok, Emily."

- "Correct me if I'm wrong, but I have the feeling (Y/N) isn't thrilled to have agent Seaver around."- I almost chuckled at her words and just nodded.

- "It's not like she has made it hard to tell. She literally yelled at her at the jet."

- "Is she mad at me because I am supervising her training?"

- "I don't know. I don't think so… she hasn't told me so. Well, she hasn't talked to me much lately."

- "Why? Did you fight?"- Prentiss wide opened her eyes and moved a little closer to me, trying to read my expressions.

- "No, I don't know what's going on. She just… we…"- I couldn't find the right words to explain my mind, and I think Prentiss knew it, ‘cos she didn't push me.

- "You should talk to her."

- "Yeah, we are going out tonight."

- "You have a date?"- Ashley walked over and asked me with a short smile. I cleared my throat and shook my head right away.

- "No, just meeting with a friend."

- "Oh, sorry. I didn't mean to intrude,"- Seaver blushed and looked at her shoes. Prentiss smiled, probably reading something I wasn't seeing.

- "Come on, Rossi is probably waiting for us at the BAU, and I'm guessing Morgan is not in a good mood."

For the rest of the day, I tried to find a moment alone with (Y/N). I needed to talk about what was going on. But it was impossible. We worked late, rereading the original case files, trying to find something that might help us help Sanderson. But it was frustrating and nearly impossible.

So around nine, we decided to call it a day and go home.

- "Are you in the mood for Chinese?"- I looked at (Y/N), gathering all the things as I stood next to her desk- I thought maybe we could get some take-out from that place you love on our way home.

- "Sounds nice. What are we watching?"

- "Pride and Prejudice, Coraline, maybe Beetlejuice. You pick, I've got all your favorites,"- (Y/N) narrowed her eyes, looking at me in silence- "What?"

- "So you rented movies ‘cos you wanted to hang out with me?"

- "Yes."

- "You usually don't rent movies. You rent documentaries."

- "Yes, but I wanted to do something different this time. I told you I missed you."

(Y/N) blushed as she stood in front of me, biting the inner part of her cheek, trying not to smile. I looked at her, nearly beaming, excited to see her reaction. I had felt so scared to lose her, feeling her pushing away from me. It was a balm watching her so happy, and just because I missed her.

- "I love Pride and Prejudice,"- Ashley said from her desk- "I've read that book so many times, I think I can recite it."

I looked at her and nodded with an awkward smile. I knew she was just trying to be nice ‘cos she was new at the BAU, and she was also trying to be nicer to (Y/N), to get on her good side. But that wasn't the way to get to her. Maybe I had to talk to Seaver and explain that my best friend is a special woman.

Neither of us answered her comment. We just stood there, looking at her in silence, until Anderson walked over and waved.

- "Hey agents, before you go, I wanted to tell you, this Friday I'm celebrating my birthday, and I'd love to have you over."

- "Of course, Sonny!"- (Y/N) wide opened her eyes and clapped. She had called him "Sonny" since they sang "I got you babe" by Sonny and Cher in the karaoke at the Christmas party the year before.

- "Happy birthday, Anderson!"- Derek waved.

- "Thank you! We'll gather at a bar nearby. I'll text you the address."

- "We wouldn't miss it for the world,"- Prentiss added and smiled- "Do you mind if we tell JJ and Garcia?"

- "Please do! I haven't seen JJ since she left, and it would be amazing to have her over. You too, agent Seaver."

- "Thank you!"- Ashley smiled and nodded- "Count me in."

I could feel (Y/N)'s eyes rolling, annoyed, even when I wasn't even looking at her at that minute. I grabbed my bag and my coat and held her hand.

- "Bye, guys! See you tomorrow!"- that was all I said as I dragged her out of the bullpen. Emily waved at us, and Derek cut me an evil grin I could decode easily. I just ignored him and turned to the door.

- "Have fun, pretty girl!!"- Morgan chuckled at his own words, and (Y/N) just smiled and winked. Why? Probably to show him she didn't care about all his teasing, ‘cos nothing was ever going to happen between us.

(Y/N)'s point of view

It might have been childish, but I had to take advantage of Morgan's innuendo just to show Seaver things could happen between Spencer and me. It had been immature and silly, but I just felt like I needed to do it. It was like a stupid animal instinct that forced me to mark my territory.

I shouldn't have done it. Spencer wasn't mine. Not even close. And I had to stop being jealous of Seaver. If he didn't want me, he had the right to be with anyone else. But just the thought of Spencer being with someone, anyone, made me feel sick in my stomach. I hated being in love with him. I honestly did, ‘cos I didn't want to ruin our friendship with useless feelings. Spencer wasn't in love with me. He was just my friend. My very thoughtful, cute, adorable, and lovable best friend.

I was fucked. Completely and utterly fucked. Even that second, sitting on that couch with Spencer, I couldn't focus on the movie. I pretended, but I didn't even pay attention to it. All I could think of was how warm his body felt sitting next to me, like a gigantic magnet that called for me. I could simply just move my hand and intertwined his fingers with mine. Or lean in closer, rest my head on his shoulder, feel how he wraps an arm around me, and melt in his embrace, like I had done a million times before.

But I couldn't. I had to stop that daydream of a domestic and romantic life with Spencer. It wasn't healthy. It wasn't sane. But most of all: I wasn't real. And I was never going to move forward in life if I kept thinking those movie nights meant something.

- "More popcorn?- Spencer handed me the bowl, and I shook my head- "You have been awfully quiet considering we are watching Coraline."

- "Well, we are supposed to watch the movie in silence,"- I answered and didn't take my eyes from the screen.

- "You have never done that."

- "Maybe I wanted to give it a try."

I grabbed a bunch of popcorn just to keep myself busy. I could feel Spencer's eyes on me, and it was killing me ‘cos I knew I didn't have to look at him. If I did, I wasn't sure how I would react. I was overthinking everything and anything you might think of.

- "Are you ok?"

- "Yeah. Sure."

No, I wasn't.

- "(Y/N), can you look at me?"- Spencer paused the movie and turned to me. I hesitated, thinking my best friend is an amazing profiler, and I didn't want him to know how I felt about him ‘cos it didn't want to ruin our friendship.

After a few seconds, I moved on the couch and raised an eyebrow. His brown eyes stared into mine in silence for a moment, trying to read me.

- "What is going on?"

- "Nothing,"- I lied and frowned- "Why are you so obsessed with the idea something is going on?"

- "‘Cos I have this… feeling."

- "You got a feeling?"- I chuckled, trying to be funny but failing completely. In the end, I just stared into his eyes for what seemed to be a million years but were, in fact, just a few seconds.

- "Are we ok?"

- "Of course, we are, Spencer."

- "You never call me that"- he frowned immediately, almost hurt.

- "What?"

- "You just call me Spencer when we are on a case, and there are people around us. But when we are home, I'm never Spencer to you."

"When we are home." That killed me. I hadn't realized how badly I wanted that to be our home, to have a life with Spencer.

I was in love with my best friend. I was spending every single hour of every single day of my life with him. That wasn't right! If I knew he didn't have feelings for me, why was I doing that to myself?

- "(Y/N)?"- Spencer's voice took me from my thoughts. He looked so worried I didn't know how to convince him there wasn't anything wrong, considering it felt like everything was wrong.

- "What is it?"

- "Please tell me what's wrong."

- "I told you, nothing is wrong. I just called you Spencer. That's your name. It's a lovely name. I had never met someone called Spencer ever before in my entire life. You just called me (Y/N), not pumpkin, cupcake, chipmunk, or ma chère,"- he sighed, frustrated and maybe a little annoyed.

- "Nothing is wrong, honey. I'm really ok. Just tired, maybe feeling a little invaded with Seaver in the team"- I knew he knew I hated her, so I had to blame her in a way.

- "Why?"

- "You know I'm not her fan... I hate working with her,"- I kind of chuckled at my own words because I was trying to make a joke out of my awful reality.

- "It's just for a few weeks,"- he tried to reassure me, probably to ease my mood, but the truth was I hated how it always felt like he was defending her.

- "One week, one day, it's the same torture,"- I shook my head and turned to the screen again.

- "Don't be dramatic."

- "I'm not dramatic! I just hate how she is always playing the victim ‘cos her father is a serial killer. She is clearly overcompensating! Besides, we have all gone through bad shit in our lives, and no one is using it as a tool to get things in life."

- "I don't think that's what she is doing."

- "No? Do you think she belongs at the BAU? She is a trainee agent who almost got killed in her first assignment. She works hard, and she is not stupid, I give you that. But she is not top of her class. She is not there ‘cos she is the brightest. She is there ‘cos Rossi, Hotch, and probably Prentiss felt bad for her after what happened and decided to let her hang around and learn something for a while. If you ask me, I think there are more qualified trainee agents we could use in the team, but Seaver played her "my father was a serial killer" card and got the job. And who knows how many times she had done it before, and how many times she will use it again."

Ok, that may or may not have been too hard, but it was exactly how I felt. There was a deep silence in Spencer's apartment. The movie was still paused, and after my speech, Spencer just looked at me with wide-opened eyes. I just sighed and regretted every word that had left my lips ‘cos they made me sound bitter and shallow. But at least they didn't tell him the truth: that I was jealous of the thought Seaver might get his attention. Scared that he could look at her the way he had never looked at me. Just to imagine I could bump into them kissing terrified me.

- "Maybe I should just go home,"- I whispered and tried to stand up, but Spencer grabbed my arm and pulled me back onto the couch.

- "No, please. Stay,"- his voice was a whisper but still managed to shake me.

- "I don't wanna argue with you, honey,"- I thought I would speak too loud, but no, I actually murmured, matching his tone of voice.

- "We don't have to talk about Seaver anymore. Just watch the movie with me. You love this movie."

- "You love this book,"- I added and looked at him. He smiled. God, that smile is going to be the end of me.

- "It's just so dark! But it has such a good message."

- "Not all nice people are good people?"- I just spoke about what the book had meant to me ever since I was a little girl, and Spencer analyzed the whole plot again in less than a minute.

- "I was going to say overcoming your fears, but I like your analysis the most."

- "Of course, you do, ‘cos it's better,"- I teased and stuck out my tongue to him. Spencer just stared at me and nodded.

- "You might be right. Yours is much better,"- he kept his eyes on me for a few more seconds and continued smiling until he snapped from his thoughts- "More tea, ma chère?"

- "No, honey, thank you. I'm good."

I cut him a quick smile and sat back on the couch, trying to relax. I knew it was going to be impossible, but I honestly didn't want to leave. I wanted to be with him. I had stayed home alone the whole weekend, hidden underneath a pile of blankets, in something that looked pretty much like a fort, according to Lu's words. She had stayed with me Saturday night ‘cos I told her I needed a girl's night. It was my poor attempt to stay away from Reid, and she was happy to help.

Ok, Lu didn't know I wanted to stay away from Reid. I just told her I needed a girl's night. I really didn't want to deal with all her questions. You have the right to avoid dealing with your feelings from time to time if you can. And I told Spencer Lu wasn't feeling so good, so I wanted to spend some time with her. He sounded disappointed ‘cos he was making plans for our weekend off but understood completely I needed to be with my friend.

See? Spencer made it so easy falling in love with him! He was so thoughtful it freaking hurt!

I couldn't fight the feeling anymore and rested my head on his shoulder. It felt he was waiting for me to make that move, ‘cos in a few seconds, his arm was wrapped around me protectively.

- "I know Lu needed you, but you missed a whole weekend of cuddling on this couch watching your favorite movies with me,"- Spencer whispered, bumping his head carefully against mine. I bit my lips and smiled, not taking my eyes away from the screen.

- "We do this pretty often"- that was all I could answer.

- "At least once a week for the last… thirteen-month two weeks, and… four days."

- "I love how precise you can be when it comes to our friendship, honey."

Calling it a friendship hurt me at that point, but it was what it was. Spencer chuckled and just nodded. We enjoyed our company in silence for a moment. His fingers drawing figures on my arm and my head resting on his shoulder, letting his smell invade me. It was heaven.

We were finally watching the movie… though what I really wanted was to watch a movie with Spencer instead of actually watching it. But that was the nature of our relationship. We were friends. Friends don't watch movies.

- "No way,"- I argued when his cellphone rang and interrupted our moment- "Please tell me we don't have a case."

- "We don't,"- he quickly answered and picked up the phone- "Hello? Hi… it's ok, tell me"- he didn't stand up or moved from me. He kept holding me tight against his body and finished his call by simply saying.

- "We can meet tomorrow at seven at work. I can help you with your test."- I hated those words immediately.

- "It's not a problem, see you tomorrow. Bye."

I was afraid to ask ‘cos I knew the answer. The knot on my stomach was the fair warning of what had just happened. That bitch had ruined our moment yet again.

- "What are you doing tomorrow at seven?"- I did my best to sound as casual as possible, but I knew that conversation might not end well. He hesitated. I could nearly hear his neurons struggling to find the correct answer to that question. Until he simply whispered:

- "Please don't get mad."

- "Why would I?"

- "‘Cos Ashley just called to ask me to help her study for a test…"

I took a deep breath and held it for a few seconds, doing my best to calm myself down at least a little before speaking.

- "I'm not mad, Spencer,"- I tried to lie as smoothly as possible. I even cut him a smile and looked into his hazel and confused eyes.

- "I know you don't like her, but I had offered to help in case she needed any… what?"

- "I'm not mad, really,"- I smiled again and turned to the screen- "We said we were not going to argue, and besides, she just called to ask you for help. That's not something to be mad about, right?"

Technically I wasn't mad. I was beyond furious.

- "Are you sure?"- he narrowed his eyes, baffled- "Not that I want you to be mad or something, but we just argued over her, and you said you felt invaded by her… so…"

- "Yes, but I don't wanna argue anymore. I don't want you to think I hate Seaver because I don't. And most of all, I don't want her to be the reason we fight. I don't wanna fight with you. Ever."

Spencer sighed, relieved, and smiled, pleased with my answer.

Spencer's point of view

Something felt off the following day when I walked into the bullpen and saw Ashley waiting for me by my desk with two cups of coffee. (Y/N) had said everything was ok, and I decided I wanted to believe her. But I had an awful feeling about everything that was going on.

- "Hi!"- Ashley smiled and handed me a cup- "Figured you might appreciate one of these for making you wake up earlier."

- "Thank you"- I smiled awkwardly and held the cup- "Are you ready?"

- "Yes, I brought all the notes from the class and my books…"- she set them on her desk and giggled as I went through her notes, sipping my cup- "I feel back in high school…"

- "Why?"

- "I wasn't the best student back then, and I always had to ask my classmates for help,"- I couldn't help but think of something (Y/N) had said the night before.

- "And are you a good student at the academy?"

- "Yes, I think. I'm not in the top three of my class, but I have good grades. I'm just not… a genius, like you."

Her eyes lingered on my face, and her cheeks blushed after a few seconds. I frowned, not getting why she was embarrassed. Was it just ‘cos she didn't have the same honorifics as I did?

- "I don't believe that intelligence can be accurately quantified,"- I simply answered, remembering how many times in my life I had ever said something like that. Way too many, to be honest.

It was hard to focus on the subject when Seaver kept asking me personal questions every five minutes. She seemed more interested in knowing about my childhood in Las Vegas than learning about profiling and victimology.

- "Good morning, kids!"- I turned around and smiled at Morgan, so glad to see him I might have actually felt a little relieved- "What are you doing here so early?"

- "Hey! I was just helping Ashley with her test,"- I stood up and walked from her desk over his- "And about you?"

- "I have a meeting with Strauss in a while, and Sanderson's case didn't let me sleep. It was better to come here and start working than to keep on rolling on my bed. But I'm glad you are here. Wanna help me go through a few extra files?"

- "Of course!"- I left the notes I was holding on the closest desk and walked with Morgan to the conference room.

I considered our session with Seaver finished, mostly ‘cos for the last ten minutes, she had been asking about me. What I liked doing outside the BAU, favorite bands, hobbies, anything. I answered her questions and kept trying to push her to study. I didn't want her to blame me if she failed her test.

- "Hey, kid."- Morgan whispered after a few minutes and took a look around, just to make sure no one else was near. I looked at him confused ‘cos he was never that careful to say anything in the office.

- "Is everything ok?"

- "Yes?"- I answered, though it sounded like a question ‘cos I wasn't sure what he was talking about.

- "Are you excited to have Seaver on the team for the next month?"- I shrugged and kept reading the file in my hands- "Come on, Reid. She is clearly sweet to you."

- "I don't know what you are talking about."

- "She has a crush on you, kid."

- "No, she doesn't!"

- "Come on! Are you blind?"- I stared at Morgan, not getting what he was talking about- "Man, Seaver gives you loving eyes even when we are on the field!"

- "She does not!"- I knew I was blushing. I hated those kinds of conversations, and Morgan always made me feel awkward when he hinted I should flirt with a girl or just talk to them.

- "And I would appreciate it if you didn't say anything like that ever again."

- "What's the matter, kid? You don't think she is pretty?"

- "I don't look at her that way!"- I buried my head in a file and tried not to notice how he scanned my whole face, looking for micro expressions.

- "I see. Are you afraid (Y/N) might get jealous?"- Morgan chuckled at his words and tapped on my back a few times, making me flinch- "Relax, man. I'm just kidding!"

- "I don't like those jokes, Derek. Really."

Morgan kept his eyes on me a little longer and nodded. I did my best not to show how I really felt, but somehow, I failed miserably.

- "You know, kid, it would be much easier if you just told (Y/N) how you feel about her,"- Derek's voice was soft and even more concerned than I thought he could be. I nearly shook when I heard him, so I failed my mission of remaining stoic.

- "Reid, it's ok. There's nothing wrong with having feelings for her."

- "I don't… like talking about this,"- I whispered and closed the file- "Can we just focus on work, please?"- Derek nodded and stayed quiet for a few seconds. But I knew he wasn't done yet.

- "Reid, listen. I know you are not really fond of sharing how you feel with us, I know you share almost everything that happens in your life with (Y/N), and as your friend, I've always felt glad and relieved to know you have her. But if there's something you can't tell her, and you need to talk to someone, you can count on me. You know that, right?"

I nodded and looked at him. That conversation took me back to the year I was using and had to keep it secret from my friends. I knew I could count on Morgan if anything happened, but I really wasn't comfortable sharing my thoughts, feelings, and fears with people. (Y/N) made it so easy. Was it ‘cos I loved her? I just always felt I could tell her anything. That had never happened to me before with anyone.

- "Morgan, Strauss was looking for you,"- Rossi walked into the room holding a cup of coffee and stared at us, raising an eyebrow- "Everything ok?"

- "Yes, we were just going through some files,"- Morgan stood up and grabbed the case folder- "I'll be right back."

- "I'll finish reading all these,"- I said and pointed at the box filled with more files. Morgan nodded and walked away.

- "Do you need any help?"- Seaver walked over that second and smiled at me. I stood up and shook my head.

- "Thanks, but I'm basically done. I'll just go make myself another cup of coffee."

- "I'll go with you!"- she smiled and waited for me by the door. Rossi looked at me and raised an eyebrow. I just cut him a straight smile and walked to the kitchenette, followed closely by Ashley.

(Y/N) walked into the bullpen that minute. I watched her as she opened the glass door and took out her jacket. It felt like the time passed in slow motion as she walked. I couldn't help it, I just smiled as soon as our eyes crushed, and for a few seconds, life was perfect. Just to know she was there, smiling at me made everything worth living.

See why I couldn't tell anyone how I was feeling? They would make fun of me. Morgan would never understand the agony and the dimension of my love for her. He would just tease me. I wonder if he had ever actually been in love 'till that point in life.

I didn't want anyone to know what was happening to me ‘cos I was sure they would make fun of me, and that was the last thing I needed at that moment. So I did what I knew best: I locked it all inside and waited for it to burn me alive.

- "Good morning, chipmunk!"- I stood by (Y/N)'s side and smiled as she left her things on her desk and turned to me. She just looked into my eyes, and my brain turned into mush.

- "Good morning, honey bunny. Did you sleep well? You look tired."

- "Yeah, I just got up extra early today to help Seaver, and now I was helping Derek with some files."

- "Do you need a hand?"

- "Sure!"- I didn't even analyze my answer. I just spit the words, thinking it would be amazing to spend some time with my friend, working together.

- "Hi (Y/N), how are you?"- that until her face changed completely when Seaver waved at her- "Spencer, do you want me to make your coffee?"- I froze and turned to her in silence.

- "No, thank you. I'll… just… wait a little before having another one. I just had my third cup."

- "Three cups in already"- (Y/N) narrowed her eyes and turned to her desk, giving me her back- "How long have you been awake?"

- "Not as long as Morgan, I tell you that,"- I pointed at him, walking out of Strauss's office and heading back to our conference room.

- "Let's help him, then."

(Y/N) walked quickly, and I followed closely. I wished I hadn't said no to that coffee. I really needed one to go through that morning.

During that morning, Derek questioned Sanderson again and finally took him and Rossi back to his house, trying to trigger any memory that might help us crack the case. Meanwhile, the rest of the team and I stayed back in the office, repeatedly going through the case files. So far, all we knew is that a team had attacked Sanderon's home and framed him for the murder of his wife and daughter.

The whole day, I focused on work ‘cos it's my favorite escape, and clearly, there was something more important to think of than whatever was going on with my life. But my head was killing me. The migraines were starting to get more intense, and I think they got worse the more thinking I gave to my relationship with (Y/N).

- "It sounds like we need to profile a dormant killer"- Ashle's voice surprised me when I was pouring myself a cup of fresh coffee in the kitchenette.

- "A very lucky one. He was essentially given a gift, a patsy in the form of Don Sanderson, and he'll do anything to protect that story."- I answered, thinking I didn't want to be in Sanderon's shoes, trying to clear my name of something I hadn't done.

- "When someone has a secret this big, everything becomes a lie."

Somehow, Seaver's words hit me. I'm sure she didn't mean to strike a nerve, but she did. I had been in love with my best friend for too long, and now it was starting to affect my life. I didn't want it to get in the way of work, and we were at work most of our time together. But there was nothing I could do about it. I just had to keep on faking everything was normal.

- "He'll most likely be pathological,"- I nearly choked at my own words as I tried to shake away the thoughts from my head.

- "So, we're looking for a liar in D. C. I thought we were trying to narrow this down."- Ashley tried to joke and waited for my reaction but didn't get anything. Instead, I just cut her a straight smile and walked away.

By the end of the night, Morgan had gotten the unsub. But I was still a mess. It had been the longest day in weeks, not just ‘cos I had barely slept the night before, but because I was overthinking everything that happened around me. It was exhausting.

- "Are you coming, Batsy?"- (Y/N) asked me and grabbed her bag after putting on her coat. I stood from my desk and nodded.

- "Yes, ma chère."

- "Where are you guys going tonight?"- Derek asked and smiled at us- "No. Don't tell me, planning this year's matching Comic-Con costumes"- I chuckled and probably blushed, busted.

- "We already settled those, Derek. We are way ahead of schedule this year,"- (Y/N) answered and stuck out her tongue to him.

- "(Y/N), can you give me a second before you go?"- Prentiss stood up and smiled at my friend, who just nodded and walked with her to the conference room. Derek and Seaver looked at me.

- "What?"

- "Do you know what's that about?"- Morgan questioned me.

- "I have no idea."

(Y/N)'s point of view

- "Please don't freak out,"- Emily smiled and turned to me after she closed the door behind her back- I just needed to clear the air a little bit between us.

- "What? Why? Is there something wrong?"

- "I don't know, I just feel you have been acting weird lately, and I needed to know if it has something to do with me supervising Seaver."

I nearly gasped. Not ‘cos I felt insulted but ‘cos I felt caught. I knew I hadn't been subtle about my feelings for Seaver. I just didn't want them to get in the middle of work.

- "I haven't been weird with you, Emily, and I don't think I've been acting strange."

- "Come on, you don't like Ashley, and I offered to supervise her while she works with us."

- "Yes, but neither of those has anything to do with me and you. We are friends, Emily."

- "I know, and I wanna honor that friendship, (Y/N). I love working with you. I just want you to know I'm not… I just… I'm trying to help Seaver start her career."

- "I understand that. We are ok,"- I tried to reassure her, but I knew she could read between my bullshit.

- "Do you think you could try to be a little bit nicer with her?"

- "Nicer?"

- "Yes, (Y/N). She is making an effort to get along with the team, and you've been giving her the cold shoulder since day one." -I crossed my arms on my chest, obviously annoyed and defensive.

- "I have been friendly with her, Emily. I just don't like her, and you can't force me to be her friend."

In my defense, in my mind, that argument didn't sound as childish as it did when I said it out loud.

- "Don't be selfish! Just because you are jealous, you can't deprive her of the opportunity of a lifetime with this team."

Emily's words were knives against my ego and nearly destroyed my facade. I stared into her eyes and wondered how to get out of that situation without hurting my friend. I could pretend I didn't know what she was talking about, but we both knew that was bullshit. I could actually try to tell her how I felt, but it was so humiliating I refused to open up. So instead, I just nodded and smiled at her.

- "I'm sorry that's how you see me. I'll try to be a better version of myself tomorrow,"- and needless to say, I turned around and left.

- "(Y/N), please wait,"- but I didn't stop walking. I refused to continue talking about Seaver with anyone. I refused to deal with feelings or the real world.

- "Everything ok?"- Spencer asked me the second he saw me appear by his side.

- "Yes,"

- "You are blushing. Did you and Prentiss argue?"

- "No, honey. We didn't argue. She just wanted to check on me ‘cos she was worried I was mad at her. But that's all."- Spencer just nodded and looked at me in silence.- "Why don't we just go home and forget about today, honey?"

Easier said than done.

So Seaver was getting under my skin. And it was getting harder to control. That week was hell, and I didn't want to show it. Eventually, I talked with Emily again, and I tried to explain to her I wasn't being mean with Seaver. I just didn't like her. And though I gave Emily my word to be friendlier with Ashley, the circumstances weren't really helping.

Things didn't get any better than Friday night. No, if anything, that was the night that made it all worse. Prentiss, JJ, and I got together at Garcia's house and had a few drinks before leaving for Anderson's birthday. I was making my biggest effort to have fun and ease my mind. Spencer said he wasn't sure he'd make it ‘cos he was tired, and automatically I almost turned out the whole deal, but Penelope literally dragged me to her house and put a beer in my hand.

- "You, my young lady, are going to put some makeup on, a hot dress, and we are going to party!"

- "But PG, I'm not…"- but she didn't let me out of it. Instead, she shushed me and raised an eyebrow, looking pretty convincing.

- "No "but." You are going. End of the conversation."

So she dragged me to the bar, along with Prentiss and JJ, who had left Will with little Henry to join us for what was promised to be one epic girl's night.

Anderson was so happy to see us. He was a sweetheart who was always willing to help us. I knew technically he didn't work at the BAU, but he was always there whenever we needed him. We all felt he was part of the team.

- "Sonny!!"- I yelled and hugged him tight

- "I'm so glad you girls made it!!"- and his smile was priceless- "JJ!!"- he actually yelled when he saw her and ran to give her a triple bear hug.

- "Grant Anderson!! I can't believe it's really you!!"

- "I've missed you so much!! How's Henry?"

- "So big!! I feel I haven't been out with friends in so long!"- JJ looked around, and her face kept lighting up as she recognized more friends and acquaintances from Quantico. I looked around and recognized Morgan already flirting with a woman at the other side of the bar.

- "Looks like chocolate thunder knows how to keep himself busy,"- I joked, and Garcia turned immediately.

- "Have you ever seen him shirtless?"- she asked in a lower voice and leaned a little closer to me, just to make sure no one would listen- "I'm sure it's illegal looking so good in real life."

I laughed and turned to see Prentiss walk to the bar to get us the first round of drinks. Ok, I'll admit it, I was having a great time. I know I didn't want to go at first, but spending time with my work friends and not just with Spencer was refreshing. Not that I didn't do fun things with the rest of the team, but my relationship with Spencer, I mean the friendship that pretty much looked like a relationship, consumed most of my time. But I just loved being with Reid more than anything.

But one night without him wasn't going to be the end of the world. Right?

Right.

Anderson and I danced and laughed. It was all very innocent. And though I've never considered myself a hot chick or whatever, a few guys asked if they could get me drinks, and I kindly declined. I wasn't looking for a one-night stand or anything. I just wanted to have fun with my friends.

- "And where's Reid?"- Anderson asked as we reached our table, where Prentiss and JJ were catching up and laughing.

- "Home, he said he was tired."

- "And? When are you two going to come clean about your relationship? You know, having the confirmation of your romance would be the best birthday present you could ever give me."

- "Grant Anderson, you nosy bastard!!"- I hit his arm and heard his laughter- "You know we are not dating!"

- "Come on!! I mean it! You have to get together! You are like the FBI sweethearts!!"

- "Shut your face!"- Anderson laughed even harder and took a look around the bar

- "So, if you are not dating Spencer, I have a friend who asked about you."

- "Who? What friend? Is he here?"- Garcia shouted question after question as she had overheard the whole conversation and even moved closer.

- "His name is James. He saw you on the news a few months ago, at a press conference with Rossi, and has been asking about you ever since."

I frowned and looked at Garcia, who was wide-eyed staring at Anderson. I had no idea what was going on. It was bizarre.

- "No, thank you?"- I whispered, not even sure of what I should answer at that- "I'm very flattered, Grant, but… I'm really not looking for someone right now."

- "You are not?"- Garcia asked me, and I just shook my head.

- "No, I have too much going on in my life, with work and… well… what we do…"

- "Really?"- Anderson sounded a little disappointed- "Well, in case you change your mind, James is…"

- "(Y/N)? Can I talk to you for a second?"- Garcia grabbed my arm and crawled me to a side of the bar.

- "What? What is it?"

- "Munchkin, you know I love you."

- "Yes, I love you too, PG."

- "That's why I feel like I need to be honest with you, ‘cos you've always been so sweet, and we've known each other for years now, and I feel like if I don't tell you this, you are never going to forgive me."- Penelope was nearly hyperventilating as she spoke.

- "Ok, what is it? You are scaring me."

- "You have to tell Reid how you feel."

- "What?"

- "He has to know! You have to tell him!"

- "I don't wanna talk about what, Penelope"- I tried to walk away from her, but she stopped me, grabbed my arm, and pulled me back.

- "No, (Y/N). He loves you, I'm not a profiler, I don't even play one on tv, but I am sure what I see in his eyes when he looks at you is love… ‘cos it's the same you have when you look at him!"

- "Son of a bitch!!"- the words escaped my lips as my heart nearly left my chest.

- "No, (Y/N)!"- but Garcia lost my attention that second, ‘cos all I could see was Spencer Walter Reid walking into the bar and Ashley Seaver hanging from his arm.

- "What do you want me to tell him, Garcia? To have fun with his new girlfriend?"- I pointed at the door, and her jaw nearly hit the floor.

- "Ok, no. There has to be a reasonable explanation for that!"

- "Yes, but Spencer being in love with me is not the explanation. I'm gonna get a drink."

Spencer's point of view

I was surprised to get Ashley's phone call that night. When my phone rang, I was ready to go to bed. My head was killing me. I had already scheduled an appointment with the doctor for some exams. I was starting to have a bad feeling about what those headaches really were, and I was too scared to tell anyone what was going on. Not even (Y/N).

Actually, of all people, she was the one I wanted to keep in the dark. Why? ‘Cos ever since we met she had taken care of me, I didn't think it was fair. She had taken me into her life and given me a place in it. And sometimes, I felt I was a burden. She helped me overcome all of my traumas and even my drug addiction. She introduced me to her best friends and made me part of her life. (Y/N) had taken trips with me to Las Vegas just to see my mom, ‘cos she knew it was hard for me to do it on my own. If it hadn't been for her, I would have probably spent over a year without visiting her. Now, we took a weekend to see mom every few months.

Why would I trouble her with some headaches? It wasn't fair.

When Ashley called, for a moment, I thought it might be (Y/N), asking me to pick her up. But no. It wasn't her that time.

- "Hey Spence, I'm sorry to bother you, but… are you at Anderson's party?"

- "No, actually, I'm in my house."

- "Why? I thought you were invited too."

- "Yeah, I know, and I was, but I'm kind of tired, and I wanted to come home and get some rest. Why? Are you at the party?"

- "No, but I was getting ready to go. But now I feel kind of awkward asking you."

- "What? What is it?"

- "I just… wanted to know if you could come with me. I'm so sorry, Spence, I didn't know you were tired. I just… I wanted to go to the party, but I feel kind of silly going alone. I wanted to ask Prentiss, but she left with (Y/N) and Garcia, and I felt so awkward asking…"

I wanted to groan, roll in my bed and hide under my pillow. But Ashley was the new girl, and she deserved to have some fun.

- "Don't worry, I'll take you there,"- I know I whispered my answer ‘cos I didn't really want to do it, but somehow I felt it was my duty.

- "Really?!"- and by the excitement in Ashley's voice, it was clear that was what she wanted to hear.

- "I'll pick you up in half an hour, ok?"

- "Thank you so much, Spence!!"

But when I walked into the bar, I knew I had made a mistake. I felt it in my guts. The same intuition I never followed in my personal life, only on the field.

I quickly looked around as Ashley held on to my arm tightly and walked into the bar with a big smile. I soon found Prentiss and JJ talking at a table filled with empty glasses, and my heart jumped inside my chest at the warm, familiar feeling that my friends gave me. I missed JJ very much. And not just as a team member but as a friend who had been taken away from us. (Y/N) always said I didn't know how to deal with change, neither did she, and the shifts in the team always affected me.

Soon I saw Morgan too, talking with Anderson and some other agents. Garcia had to be close then, but I couldn't see her or (Y/N) anywhere around.

- "Come on! Let's get a drink!"- Ashley said and crawled me to the bar.

- "I don't drink and drive"- I said, and she pouted.

- "Come on! You are no fun! Just one!"

- "No, just water. Thanks,"- I turned and scanned the place. Everybody was there, and they seemed to be having fun. Penelope waved and walked to me suddenly. She cut me a short smile and grabbed my arm.

- "Hey, what the hell are you doing here?"

- "I didn't want to come, but Ashley insisted and…"

- "Hi!"- Ashley appeared by our side and handed me a bottle of water- "I'm so excited to be here! We really needed to decompress after everything that happened this week, right Garcia?"

Penelope stared at us, trying to formulate an answer. I could see her making her bet to say something, but she just didn't. Instead, she just turned around and walked away.

- "Is she ok?"- I didn't know how to answer that, ‘cos Penelope's reaction surprised me. Ashley just looked around and grabbed my arm again.

- "Come on, Spencer! Let's dance!"

- "No, I don't… dance, sorry."

Lucky for me, Prentiss showed up and invited us to sit with her at her table. I don't know if she noticed I was uncomfortable, but I was glad to see her. Being in that bar made me feel pretty awkward and exposed.

I had never been much of a party person. I wasn't used to bars and gatherings until I joined the BAU. When I first met Derek, he tried to take me out a few times and be my wingman. It's obvious he failed at that mission. Meeting people at a bar is the most complicated equation I could ever try to solve. It doesn't work for me, no matter how hard Derek pushed me to do it. He said I had to rely on what made me feel comfortable. But no. It wasn't that I couldn't meet people. It was that I didn't want to meet anyone once I met the woman of my dreams. Even when I knew she could never be mine.

When (Y/N) came along, she started hosting these fun "dinner parties" with Frank, Lu, and Mikey, which changed everything. It was the first time I was hanging out with people my age doing things I actually liked doing. It wasn't about drinking or picking girls in a bar. It was about playing Jenga, or charades, eating pizza, and talking about movies and sometimes even books.

(Y/N) said her friends considered me part of the gang, which was all I ever wanted to hear. That I belonged. It's kind of sad when you think about it, but I don't care. I had never felt like I belonged anywhere, and they made me feel like I was one of them. They took me to their rock shows, and I jumped along with the crowd, knowing I wasn't an outcast there. I was with my friends.

You don't know how good that made me feel. And for years, they were my social comfort and cocoon. Then, when Rossi joined the BAU again, he started hosting fancy dinner parties at his house, and I got to hang out with the whole team without being at a bar, pushed to meet people. And it was so good. (Y/N) always said Rossi's arrival had a cohesive effect on us. Not because he brought us together, but the circumstances of his arrival and everything that happened that first year.

This team is no stranger to trauma, and that's a fact. I think Rossi's dinner parties gave us a space to be ourselves, relax, have a few drinks and enjoy our time together. I think that's when we stepped from being friends to be family.

And I hadn't had one before.

I hugged JJ tight as soon as I saw her smiling at me. I hadn't seen her ever since her goodbye party, over two months before, but we had talked on the phone a few times.

- "I've missed you so much, Spence!!"- she said and held my face with both hands- "You and (Y/N) owe me two babysit nights,"- and I laughed, thinking we promised we'd take care of Henry so she and Will could have a date, but we were called for a case.

- "Wait! It was one night!"- I argued, chuckling- "Why is it two nights now?"

- "‘Cos I lost a very exclusive reservation due to the two of you."

- "Technically, it wasn't our fault, we were called in for a case..."

I smiled and sat next to JJ, and Prentiss sat next to me. Ashley stood by the table and smiled at JJ. Right, they didn't even know each other.

- "It's very nice to meet you, Agent Jareau. The team talks very highly of you,"- she shook JJ's hand and smiled.

- "Ashley, right? Prentiss was just telling me you will be taking your remedial training at the BAU. Congratulations, it's a fantastic team to work with."

- "Thank you,"- I took a look around, still trying to find my best friend around. But it seemed useless, and I was starting to feel worried.

- "Where's (Y/N)?"- I had to ask.

- "She was with Anderson a minute ago,"- Penelope said and looked around- "I am going to look for her and bring her here in a second. I'll be right back."

And so, she was gone.

Prentiss and I pretty much interrogated JJ about her new job and the new team she worked with at the pentagon. I sipped my water and half-listened her answer, ‘cos most of my head was trying to register what was going on around me. No, actually, I was trying to find (Y/N). Penelope had been gone for half an hour looking for her, and I was starting to think something weird was going on. Besides, my head was killing me, and all I wanted was to go home. But I hadn't seen JJ in weeks, and I couldn't waste a chance like that.

Ashley talked with Prentiss too, and every once in a while, she tried to engage in conversation with me. But to be honest, I couldn't really concentrate on anything. I just wanted to know (Y/N) was alright.

- "Excuse me,"- I stood up slowly and looked at my friends- "I'm going to the bathroom, be right back."

- "Can you get us another round on our way back?"- Prentiss asked and smiled guiltily.

- "Sure."

- "Do you need help?"- Ashley tried to stand up, but Emily stopped her.

- "He got it, don't worry."

So I was left on my own. I walked around the bar. In my mind, I kept telling myself I was "looking for the bathroom," but I knew very well I was indeed trying to find (Y/N). I had been in that bar for an hour, and I still hadn't seen her. I was worried.

I walked around the bar and found Anderson. He seemed to be a little shocked to see me there but smiled and hugged me. It was weird hugging people, still. But Anderson was part of the team. It always felt like it. We had known each other for years, and somehow it was like he was in the background of our daily basics.

- "Have you seen (Y/N)?"- I asked him, and he widened his eyes- "What?"

- "Yeah, she's right there, actually… "- Grant Anderson pointed and turned around- "Later, Reid."

- "Bye"- I didn't even look at him. I just turned and looked around to see (Y/N).

But my best friend didn't notice me. She was too busy kissing some guy.

I stood in front of her, not knowing what to do. Her eyes were closed, and her arms were around his neck, so clearly, she wasn't in distress, and no matter how badly I wanted to take her from him, I just couldn't.

For a minute, I couldn't believe my eyes. I just stood there and stared at (Y/N), trying to understand what was going on. I always knew she wasn't meant to be mine, but I had never gotten such a brutal reminder. Not even when she was dating Paul. Watching her kissing someone else was shocking. The way that man put his hands on her waist and held her close to him, just like I always dreamt of doing, was painful.

Painful. That was the only word I can explain how it felt.

I stood there for a minute or so. I really don't know how long it was, but it felt long enough to burn in my memory everything I needed to torture myself with for the rest of my life. I stepped back after a minute. It might have been longer; I really can't recall. And all I managed to do was to walk out of the bar and reach my car.

I opened the door and slammed it as I sat behind the wheel. I wanted to cry and yell. But I didn't do either of those. Instead, I stayed still, staring at the nothing in front of me, trying to erase that fresh memory from my head. But it was impossible. (Y/N) was making out with some guy inside that bar, and there was nothing I could do to stop her. So I did the only thing I could do at that minute. I started the car and got the fuck out of there.

–

DIWK Taglist:

@all-tings-diego @big-galaxy-chaos @muffin-cup @shilohpug @eternalharry @tvandfanfic @fandomtrash2405

Spencer taglist

@calm-and-doctor

General Taglist

@spenxerslut @ash19871962 @babebenhardy @meowiemari @archer561

–

Do you want to be on the taglist or ramble about this chapter with me? Just send me a message here.

Next update: June 23th, 2021

[takaraphoenix]

For a cooking competition, I really do think they bake too much on MasterChef. Especially since it’s been steadily escalating since season 1. In season 1, baking was a very rare occasion for a pressure challenge.

By season 6, there is baking in nearly every episode? And that’s been steadily coming, every season, they have been baking more and more and more.

But this isn’t MasterBaker, it’s MasterChef and I don’t think that a Master Chef needs to bake this much. Just make a spin-off about a baking competition, it’s fine, but don’t let baking overtake the cooking competition like that? I do think there is a distinction between cooking and baking, that’s also why we have two different words for it and why baker itself is its own profession.

And I get it, season 6 in particular increases the baking since the new judge is a baker. But this has been building up over the past seasons already, so it’s not all due to her.

It particularly stands out because other actual cooking skills come too short, in my opinion. There have been two vegetarian contestants to far on the show and especially with that, you really start noticing how much the show relies on meat. You absolutely have to master meat and fish as a Master Chef, but I do think that they should include more vegetarian challenges - because it often feels like it’s easy for the cooks to hide behind their proteins. You get a good steak going and it’s a done deal. I think that confronting them with the occasional vegetarian challenge, where they’d have to first think up a dish that works as a full meal without meat and second can’t hide behind any meat, would make for a much more fitting challenge, to me.

But so far, in five whole seasons, they only had one (1) challenge where the objective was explicitly to be a vegetarian dish. And regardless of your own opinion on vegetarians or their meals, a true Master Chef ought to be able to serve a satisfying vegetarian - and heck, even vegan - dish. That is absolutely a challenge that should be included on this show.

And it’s bonkers to me that it isn’t, that there isn’t an obligatory seasonal “here comes the vegetarian dish” challenge, when every season features at least one challenge where they have to kill a live animal to cook it and every season features an average of 6 baking challenges. On a cooking show.

Make the meat lovers sweat. Let me see these cooks fall apart when they have to think up a meal that works without meat. And yeah, throw that vegetarian a bone. I think that this would absolutely be more of a challenge for many than the 10th apple pie or cupcake challenge.

[antiloreolympus]

10 Anti LO Asks

1. yeah hasnt rs only had maybe two-three months off in nearly 4 years? even if she doesnt do most of the work (tho she seems to be working the week of, which is also bad) theres no way thats healthy both for herself and team to be working under. i realize maybe shes not confident her popularity would sustain a break, but that is no reason to work herself and her team to death, especially if it can be used to pressure the other original creators to do the same when they have less help than her TBH.

2. Y’all don’t understand persphone represents every thing in this story. She’s the moon sun beauty intelligent music medicine spring fertility fire ice just everything. She’s stronger than everyone and would use her powers if it wasn’t her stinky mom’s fault for not letting her have more freedom with other gods/goddesses >:(this is joke lol)

3. I think RS should have had some episodic plots to build on her characters more before deep diving into trials and everything else. Like Sex and the City, spoilers Mr. Big appears in the first episode and Carrie ends up with him, but the show lasts for 6 seasons and 2 movies. Like I think Persphone should have had some smaller plots to solve and maybe expand other characters to really build up her skills. Show not just tell.

Like she’s a swimmer, maybe her and Artemis have a beach episode and Daphne there too old friends and new friends, first Artemis and Daphne Dont just click but since they’re both athletic and persphone too persphone kinda shows what they can bond over and maybe they even have some healthy competition. That would be good to show that persphone can work with people without it having to deal with complicated feelings (aka hades and crushes)

Like I feel like since it’s more on persphone kinda right now we should see more of her life as a 20 year old, making new friends and having old ones meet, having a job and class and just feeling dead tired but still forcing yourself to hang out. Spring break. Study groups. Getting passive aggressive because your roommate doesn’t clean up. Going home for the weekend and doing nothing. Have those emotional moments where you feel incredibly jealous or something but holding it in because it’s fine. I felt like instead of having Persphone be everyone’s crush, there should have been some short plots where she tries to not think about hades since he’s with Minthe and see other men before she goes to hades. Honestly would have been more interest to see Zeus find persphone himself than have her hide at Hades place in paradise.

Like I know that would be way too long but I don’t see RS writing an ending. And it’s too late. And the mythology has persphone and hades end up married, but like I would have loved to see persphone grow into her own person more than have this “romance” speedrun.

4. im probably looking too into this, but does it seem rachel's instagram is kinda dropping off in interaction from her fans? a few months ago easily everything would break 50k+ likes (which w/ her amount of followers thats not a great ratio, but w/e) and her big post showing off the lo book had 70k+ likes, but now her most recent ones about it dont even break 20k, some come in way under that. even her post showing off the extra hera chapter is super low. thats just odd for me to see.

5. I was at B&N today and saw the LO book on display (in the cafe, weirdly enough) and I flipped through to the Hera chapter and ugh, it's bad. It's the same rushed style as current LO (which makes it stick out like a sore thumb compared to the more lively early stuff in the actual book) and it was just using Hera to push the couple, with perhaps the most boring wedding panel I've ever seen. It has no effort put into what should've been a big™️ moment. Def not worth the $40+ price it was marked.

6. even I will admit, if I had no idea what LO was at least the first cover of Vol. 1 is eye catching. But Vol 2 is so generic and boring that I'm honestly confused over it?? It's not even formatted right? Like Rachel's name looks like the title, the composition is throw off way too much to one side, there's too much empty space, and the actual tile is cramped into the corner and covers half of Hades anyway. Like how did even that get such a downgrade in only one book? I don't understand 💀

7. imagine opening the lo book and seeing how unique it starts out, only to get to the extra chapter and it looks completely different with that unique look gone and it looks weirdly rushed and contradicts with the earlier chapters you just read. why would she do that.

8. i think rachel thinks having all these flashbacks helps fill in plot holes and gaps, but it just ends up complicating everything and contradictory? like hermes says she is this confident goddess, but then shes not by the start of the story. hades says thanatos also benefitted from nepotism but it just looks like hades neglected the poor kid. she completely retconned hades picking the underworld to have him forced into it, but the also closing it again with the pom? its just bad writing.

9. i still do not get how rachel's genius character design for the literal gods was just ... one color each, often not even aligning to their character. hades is just generic blue guy with a can opener nose, hera just looks like a future alcoholic lisa simpson and persephone is just?? what?? the dread queen is just a pink teen with a baby face? even her flowers look like blobs? where is the effort in any of this?

10. Obvs the book underselling doesn't automatically mean LO is now failing (even if it's a bit embarrassing on RS and Webtoons' part) but seriously, why aren't they building up other comics to be flagship series too if LO starts slipping or more people drop it? Tbh wouldn't that be good for her too so all the pressure isn't on her? It'd be like Netflix only focusing on Stranger Things or Disney+ only focusing on the Mandolorian. Diversify your portfolio, you guys.