#only subtly trek I suppose

[kaybonbon]

Reaching out.

Hand studies that ended up being Trek related because I have a problem.

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

The Ranger (Part 1)

Summary: The reader is trying to enjoy her vacation in the rainy forest in her cozy cabin when an unexpected heat comes on. But things turn dangerous fast and she needs the help of a local forest ranger to get out of it. But she wasn't expecting his help to include claiming her and being her true mate. Because something isn't right and her Alpha is keeping something from her...

Masterlist

Pairing: Alpha!Dean x Omega!reader

Word Count: 5,300ish

Warnings: language, life threatening medical situation, angst

A/N: Please enjoy this first part!

_______

This was not an ideal situation. You’d finally done it and taken that solo vacation in the mountains. A cozy cabin in a retreat from the world. The trees had turned already and were bare but the damp, cloudy rainy day would have been perfect to curl up by the wood fireplace and get through that stack of books you’d been meaning to.

Except your heat, your heat that’d always been on schedule since you’d started having them, was three fucking weeks early. You didn’t have any medicine besides a few pain killers meant for headaches, not dangerous cramps, and the cabin only had basics meant for allergies or a cold. You needed heat suppressants soon if you didn’t want to go into a full heat. 

Which again, wasn’t an ideal situation since you didn’t have a flippin’ mate.

You could have tried to trek back to civilization through the winding dirt road but it’d taken two hours on the way in. Two hours of intense cramps? No way were you making that drive.

“Shit,” you said, walking slowly to the service room on the lower floor of the cabin where a radio at a table sat. Because of course you wanted to vacation somewhere without people, that meant no cell service either.

A rumble of cramps passed through you, warmth flaring your insides. You gritted your teeth and grabbed the radio, turning the frequency to the ranger station listed on the sheet on the table for emergencies.

“Hello, uh, forest service? I need help,” you said, closing your eyes as pain radiated up your spine. You frowned for a moment, the radio crackling. “Hello? I-”

“This is station 327, Ranger Winchester. What’s the emergency?” asked a strong, serious voice. You bit your bottom lip as you imagined he was an Alpha, your core quivering at the idea of getting a knot. “Mam? Please respond.”

“M-My heat’s early. It’s real bad and I have no medication. I-I’m in the Vrbo cabin off route 37, Mount Dusk I think it was called. I-”

“This line is for true emergencies. Your heat being a few days early and you being an unprepared Omega is not-”

“Listen asshole,” you snarled, gasping when your stomach threatened to curl in on itself. “It’s three fucking weeks early which everyone knows isn’t normal. I need a fucking heat kit, a strong one, or a fucking knot now and since I’m out here alone, all I got is your ass. So get me my shit and-FUCK!”

You dropped the radio as you bent over, falling to your knees. Something was wrong. Heat’s didn’t come on this fast, not even when you scented your true mate.

You could hear noise through the radio but your head was thrumming, your body grateful for the cold wood floor below you. It wasn’t possible to die from a heat, was it? If you let the fever go you supposed but it took days and days for that to happen and you’d only felt crappy for an hour. Yeah, you’d be just fine. This guy would bring you medicine and you’d be fine.

Right?

You blinked open your eyes when you heard glass break. Crap, you’d passed out for who knew how long. The overwhelming scent of Alpha hit you and despite the pain, you shot upright, staring at the man in the wet raincoat as he reached his hand through the broken pane and undid the lock. He froze when he saw you, his own scent shifting subtly. A hint of fear under the surface.

“Jesus,” he mumbled, raking his eyes over your sweat drenched body. He took off his backpack, pulling out a white box and a bottle of water, cautiously setting them on the ground and sliding them over to you.

“I look that bad, huh?” you said, ripping open the box and finding the medicine you needed, knocking it back with a swig of water. 

“You’re in heat and I don’t want to be accused of doing shit I didn’t,” he said. You narrowed your eyes, hand fisting in your own shirt over your stomach. That shouldn’t have been happening still. Heat medication worked instantly. “What’s-”

You fell over again, clutching your abdomen, head spinning, body going haywire at his scent.

“Please,” you whispered, finding his hard eyes. “I’ll give you whatever you want. I-I need you to-”

“I can’t.” A wracked sob slipped past your lips as something in your broke, pain flooding every single cell. You just needed a knot and it would be bearable. He muttered to himself and quickly you were in strong arms, your own wrapping around him shakily. “I’m taking you to the hospital.”

“I’ll pay you,” you whispered, hating how that sounded but he simply carried you out in the pouring rain, the cold air helping your skin not feel so hot.

“I’m on Novi-Alpha. If I knotted you,, you’d fucking die so I’m sorry but I can’t help you like that even if I wanted to.”

“I’m gonna die from this fucking fever anyways!” you shouted as he opened the backdoor of a rugged looking jeep. 

“One’s a chance, one’s a guarantee,” he said, setting you down, your arms still clinging to him. He eyed you, forcibly grabbing your wrists and pulling them away. “You will not die, understand me? Now let me get you to a hospital.”

You reached for him but he moved away too quickly, closing the door. He ducked into the cabin to retrieve his bag before he was behind the wheel.

“Honey Dusk Hospital is aware you’re in a dangerous heat,” he said, turning the jeep around and driving down the dirt road, way faster than you had.

“Don’t kill me in a fucking car accident on the way,” you groaned, squeezing your eyes shut.

“This vehicle is meant for these roads, unlike your car. We’ll be on route 37 in thirty minutes, at the hospital in forty five.” You threw your head back, his musky scent filling the small space. 

“Distract me,” you breathed out. “Fuck you smell so good. If you weren’t on Novi-Alpha, I’d climb you like a fucking tree.”

“Whoa lady. Calm down-”

“Don’t lady me. We’re like the same fucking age.”

“You say fucking a lot, you realize.”

“You have your insides tearing apart and tell me you wouldn’t be cursing-” You shouted, bracing yourself against the door panel, feeling him step on the gas harder. “What the fuck is happening to me?”

“...I have an idea,” he said quietly. You flashed open your eyes, looking at his incredible scruff covered jawline, his gaze focused on the bumpy, wet road ahead. 

“What? Are you a doctor? Are-”

“No. I only know my basic medical training.” He frowned, rounding a tight corner. “It’s probably not a heat and you’re just sick.”

“I know what a heat feels like thank you very much.” You shivered violently, the ranger sighing. “What’s your name?”

“Dean Winchester. Try to rest. We’ll be there soon.”

The ranger’s suggestion to rest had, shockingly, not worked. By the time you were speeding down this small town’s streets, you were shaking so hard you literally couldn’t stop. Dean had reached back more than once as he drove with a handheld thermometer, muttering a few f-bombs to himself.

At least he wasn’t the one with a hundred and five temperature. A hundred and five and a half to be exact. You were pretty sure your heat was about to boil the fuck out of you and kill you within the next hour.

Dean said something but you didn’t hear him over your screaming. The next thing you knew he was ripping open the door and running inside a hospital with you in his arms, nearly tripping into a stretcher where a team was waiting.

“She’s fucking dying,” he said as he set you down, the team of doctors and nurses rushing you into a side room.

“You said this heat came on suddenly?” he asked Dean, someone sticking a thermometer in your ear.

“106. She’s too hot,” called out the nurse, the doctor near Dean rushing over, the team suddenly pushing you out of the room and down the hall. You were shoved through a pair of double doors into a bathroom, a silver high walled tub in the corner. 

“I got her,” said Dean, lifting you up and plunging you into an icy cold bath. You screamed as it burned your fiery skin, his hands on your shoulders forcing you to stay inside. “Look at me. Look at me.”

You couldn’t get the words out, taking in his green emerald eyes for the first time. His scent was still all around you, pine trees and vanilla beans, a cozy campfire and aged whiskey, fresh tobacco and soft linen. Your brain went fuzzy, blood pumping in your ears, thrumming in time with your heart. Was it getting slower? Your eyes were getting heavier, that was for sure. 

But he smelled so pretty, so…homey. Rugged. Yours.

“We’re losing her!” someone shouted, just as one last image of his concerned face crossed your mind.

You felt strangely…blissed out when you woke. Satisfied, like you were after being on the receiving end of a knot but also relaxed and floaty, like when you finished a heat. It wasn’t exactly a problem your heat had passed but you remembered a whole lot of pain and a high fever which wasn’t normal. 

So what the fuck had happened?

You stretched in bed and sat up, a doctor in a white coat stepping into the room with a smile.

“Y/N! Glad to see you awake. It’s been a few hours. How are you feeling?” he asked, gently taking your wrist and checking your pulse. 

“Uh, pretty good actually. I take it my heat’s gone?” He hummed, raising your arm up, feeling under your armpit.

“Yes. There’s not many cases a year but some Omegas do unfortunately have a negative reaction.” The doctor put two fingers to your bonding gland on your neck, your eyes narrowing. Why would he be feeling that? 

“What are you doing?” you asked as he pulled them back, glancing at a monitor. 

“Just checking your bond is healing.” You stared at him, the doctor glancing down with a sigh. “You don’t remember, do you? What happened before you passed out in the tub?”

“I remember being dumped in ice cold water and a whole lot of people shouting but that’s it.” 

“You didn’t pass out immediately. We determined while you were on the way here that your heat was triggered by the fact you came into contact with your true mate. Ordinarily, you would have picked up on this yourselves but your Alpha is on medication that has strong side effects. Namely, he was only vaguely aware of who you were through scent but there was no desire to mate as would be the norm. For you, unfortunately there is no recognition on a level that you’re aware of. You understandably would not know you went into heat early because of your true mate.”

You reached a hand up to your bonding gland, wide eyed when you felt…something. You flew out of bed, the doctor trying to stop you but you were quickly in the small bathroom, staring in the mirror.

“What the fuck is that!” you shouted. On your neck was a fresh, pink, bite mark. Someone had fucking claimed you. You angrily spun around, the doctor holding up his hands. “What kind of hospital is this! I’m suing the fuck out of you and this whole place!”

You caught a whiff of something…delectable, an Alpha’s scent somewhere close by. It calmed you, ever so briefly, the doctor sighing. 

“The man that brought you in-”

“The ranger guy.”

“Yes he…well he…there’s no easy way to say this. He is your true mate. Ordinarily we would have used medication to mimic your true mate’s scent but seeing as he was there…when he was told he would be able to claim…” he said as you stalked out, eye twitching. “We were losing you and receiving a claim bite from your true mate was the fastest way to bring your fever down. In emergency situations, true mates are allowed to make medical choice for you if you’re unable-”

“He wasn’t my mate then,” you growled.

“Physically, no but on a metaphysical level, yes. Frankly, the health of my patient, you, is all I care about. We’d like to observe you a few more hours before discharging.” You crossed your arms, narrowing your eyes.

“So my heat is magically gone and some random dude hanging out in the hall is now my Alpha?” 

“That’s the more blunt way of putting it. We’ll send home medication to suppress your urges to mate physically. Your Alpha will be unable to knot you until he has completed his Novi-Alpha prescription.” 

“And when will that be?” you asked, tilting your head. The doctor frowned. “When?”

“...You don’t know what Novi-Alpha is prescribed for, do you. That is a discussion for you and your Alpha.” You wanted to argue but he lifted his chin. “Please let me finish my examination and determine if your heat had any consequences.”

Three hours later they finally let you leave, a white baggie in hand that held a bottle of pills you were to take once a week for the foreseeable future. There were well over a hundred inside which made you more than queasy.

What the fuck was Novi-Alpha and why did a guy that looked more than healthy need to be on it?

You frowned when you stepped outside under the covered front entrance, the ranger standing from where he sat on a bench. 

“Hey,” he said quietly. “How are you feeling?” 

“I didn’t give you permission to claim me.” His scent shifted, an edge to it you didn’t like. He narrowed his eyes, a frown growing on his otherwise handsome face. “Oh, don’t you start on that we’re true mates shit. You didn’t ask for my consent.”

“Excuse me but you were the one begging for it,” he quipped back. He took a few steps away like he was heading for the sidewalk, suddenly turning on a dime and getting in your face. He breathed heavily, clenching his jaw. “You don’t feel…this and I get that it’s my fault. I barely feel it myself. And I frankly don’t care about your consent. My mate was five minutes away from death.”

“Oh, I did not sign up for some toxic asshole,” you said, shaking your head. You took a step, Dean grabbing your wrist. He looked ready to snarl, lip curling up. 

“True mates are never, ever bad mates. Stop hating me for saving you.”

“I don’t even fucking know you. This whole situation is your damn fault in the first place.” He twitched his eye, yanking on your arm so you stepped forward. “Get off, ass-”

“I am your Alpha and I’m taking you home,” he said, tugging you along after him, your feet cold on the wet ground, socks already soaked through. 

“I’m not going anywhere with you,” you growled. Dean whipped around and in a second, you were tossed over his shoulder. “Dean! Put me down!”

“You’ll wear yourself out if you don’t calm down.” You growled, punching his back twice. You raised your fist again but felt dizzy, your hands instead gripping him tightly. “Did you listen to the doctors at all? You need to take it easy.”

“Just take me to my cabin,” you grumbled. He didn’t speak again, only grunted once when he opened the passenger door of his truck to slide you inside. You were too tired to deal with this crap. You’d go back to the cabin, sleep for a solid twelve hours and figure out this mate crap tomorrow. 

The roads were unfamiliar as Dean drove in silence, winding and twisting as he drove away from town and off a small road. It was a gravel road unlike the one to your cabin but you perked up when you saw a cabin in a small clearing after only a few minutes. 

“Uh, that’s not my cabin,” you said. Dean put the truck in park, turning it off. “I was out on Mount-”

“This is my house…our house,” he mumbled the last part. You shook your head at him, Dean rolling his eyes. “You need rest, not to sit in a car for hours. I’ll get your shit from that rental and bring it here. We’ll figure out the rest of your crap from wherever you’re from later.”

“Excuse me? We’re mates, as much as that appalls me. We make decisions like where to live together. I have a job, a life-”

“We live here. End of discussion,” he growled. His scent was raw, twitchy. There was no room for arguing. You were ready to fight back but you forced yourself to calm down. He was your true mate and as much as you hated to admit it, he had a point. True mates were never bad to one another. He wouldn’t harm you but good god was this guy protective. 

You frowned when he held up a finger to you and got out. He threw up his hood, rain coming down harder. In a flash he was at your door, picking you up bridal style and rushing you over to a covered porch. He set you down to unlock the door, flipping a light switch before he stepped back. You walked past him, surprised to find the cabin quite spacious and modern.

He disappeared behind you, returning with your white paper bag, now wet. His boots were removed and you peeled off your soaked through socks, following him slowly as he went to the open kitchen area on the right. The bag was set down, Dean moving to his fridge and taking a few things out.

It was open concept, kitchen on the right, living room on the left, a dining table in the front by the windows. There was a hallway in the back and one off the kitchen, probably leading to bedrooms and a garage. A large fireplace was nestled in the corner of the living room and you saw Dean cross into your vision, going to it to toss in a few logs. 

Honestly, it was nicer than your rental had been.

Once he had a fire going, he turned back to where you stood on the front rug, water dripping off of you. His lips pressed into a thin line, looking you up and down not like an Alpha would his Omega. No, he was being very clear. 

You were the stray that’d followed him home he hadn’t wanted. 

“I don’t have to be here,” you said when he approached, staring up at his dark eyes. “This isn’t normal. We’re supposed to be all over each other and clearly we’re not. We-”

“There’s a stew going on the stove. It’ll be ready in an hour. Just leave it alone.” He put a hand on the small of your back, walking you down to the back hall, motioning you to the last door on the left. He flipped on a light, cascading you into a cozy bedroom with soft white bedding and a dark green flannel blanket on top. 

He cleared his throat and went to a closet, pulling out a few pieces including a t shirt, hoodie, sweatpants and pair of boxer briefs. 

“You should warm up in the shower. Bathroom is right there. The laundry room is on the other side of the house, near the kitchen and garage. It’s coming down harder so it’ll take me a few hours to get to the rental and back here. You should-”

“Take it easy. Yeah, I got that.” He nodded, pausing at the bedroom door with his back to you. 

“If it’s any consolation, I’m sorry this happened to you. You don’t deserve it.” You quirked your eyebrow up.

“You’re my Alpha. We’re soulmates. I guess this is supposed to happen.” He was still, the air thick. “I…listen I know I was…I wish I’d been aware of what I’d been saying but…”

He smelled tense, his hand in a tight fist by his side. What the fuck was up with this guy?

“Whether we like it or not, we’re mates,” you said gently. “When you get off that medicine, it’ll feel different-”

“I can never get off it and I can never knot you. You’ll never feel a damn thing for me.” Then he was gone, tearing down the hall and out the front door before you could even move. 

An unpleasant shiver ran down your spine that he was right. 

Your feet moved on autopilot to the bathroom, stripping out of the wet clothes and standing in front of the nicely tiled shower. In seconds you were under hot water, cascading down your back, through your hair. Fingers reached up to your neck, rubbing over your bond.

There were no sparks or flurry in your veins. You were supposed to be able to feel Dean, feel your connection, feel his soul.

But there was nothing. All you felt was empty.

You couldn’t feel the other part of your soul and he blamed himself.

“Fuck that,” you said, quickly finishing and getting dressed in the clothes aside from the sweatpants that were too long.

You found his computer in one of the spare bedrooms, stealing it along with a notepad and pen. Out in the kitchen, you settled into a seat at the island and drew a line down the middle of the pad. One side for information about Dean, the other Novi-Alpha.

With a quick stretch, you cracked open the laptop and got to work.

Three Hours Later

It was dark by the time headlights flashed through the front windows. The computer said it was just after six thirty and you knew you were about thirty seconds away from an argument. Ah, what a wonderful way to spend your first night with your Alpha.

Out of view you heard the door leading from the garage to the house crack open, wet boots against the tile in the mudroom. 

“I’m back!” he called from around the corner. “We’ll unpack your stuff tomorrow. How was…”

Your eyes darted over to the hallway he exited from, his socked feet padding his footfalls on the woode floors that covered the rest of the house. He stared at where you had his laptop, a charger plugged into the side of the island, a stack of papers next to you, your notepad, pen, three different highlighters and a cup of coffee.

“Are…are you working?” He asked, face souring. “You should be resting. I thought you were here on vacation anyways.”

“I am and this isn’t work related.” He narrowed his eyes, not saying anything as he went to the sink on the other side of the island to wash up. 

“Did you eat yet?” You shook your head, typing some more. A heavy sigh left him. He went to a cabinet, pulling out two large bowls. “You really should have eaten something. You nearly died this morning. Your school project can wait.”

“I’m not in college,” you said, jotting down a few more notes before you saved what you’d been working on and signed out of your account. You closed the screen, watching water trail down from his wet hair and soaking his shirt collar. “Why are you wet?”

“Because there’s a thunderstorm outside. It rains here most days,” he said dryly, giving you a side glare as he walked the two bowls of stew over to the kitchen table. You cocked your head at him as you got up, Dean quickly retrieving utensils. “What?”

“You parked in the garage just now and my cabin was far enough away that you’d be dry. Where’d you stop on the way back?” He slammed the drawer shut, eye twitching. “Strike a nerve?”

“I asked you to do one thing. One thing. Rest. And y-you’re writing a research paper or some crap? Sit down and eat your damn dinner.” You would have told him off but truth be told, you were starving a bit. You took your bowl and moved it to the seat across from his, Dean angrily setting down a spoon. A few moments later, a large glass of water was in front of you and he had a bottle of beer on his placemat. Dean sat with a loud thud, shoveling a large spoonful of food into his mouth.

“Why are you wet?” you asked again, crossing your arms. 

“Why does it matter? Fucking eat.” You leaned back, Dean dropping his spoon in the bowl. “Really? This is how it’s gonna be? I’ve been nothing but nice-”

“If this is you nice then I’d hate to see you mean.” You raised your chin, picking up the spoon. “I’ve always heard alpha’s protective instincts are unmatched. You can barely feel whatever this bond is and you’re so worked up-”

“I almost watched you die today.” You closed your eyes and sighed. A small noise made you open your eyes, Dean sliding a small white box over to you. You frowned, lips parting when you saw the newest iPhone inside. “I got you a phone on the account your other one was in your pocket when you took your artic dip. I rushed to the store before they closed. That is why I’m wet. I’d never want you to feel like you’re trapped here, especially when you can’t feel our ‘whatever bond.’”

“Thank you,” you said quietly. You ate in silence, the only sounds coming from the rain on the roof, the clanking of spoons and the quiet thrum of a soft rock station in the living room.

He seemed…stressed. Maybe you should wait for the morning to bring up what you’d found.

But you didn’t get the chance when he picked up and glanced at your notepad. Green eyes scanned over the pages before he gathered up everything you’d been working on.

And tossed it straight into the fireplace.

“Hey!” you shouted, rushing over as he stopped you in your tracks. He leered down, eyes dark. “That was-”

“You will delete everything you saved on that computer. Now.”

“You can’t-” He gripped your arm tight, so hard he was shaking it.

“Do it or I will make your life hell.” He released you, spinning you around towards the computer. You didn’t believe he’d hurt you. True mates were incapable of it. But you didn’t want to tempt him anymore than you already had.

Ten minutes later, your backup was gone and after a through examination by Dean, he took the computer and tossed it into the fireplace as well.

“I know you have questions,” he said quietly, back to you as the flames danced around the melting device. “I never should have gone hiking this morning. You caught my scent in the wind and-”

“Why would you go hiking in the pouring rain? It was raining this morning too. I had my coffee under the covered porch but it was coming down like bullets. No one would be out there willingly.” He turned and faced you, eyes roaming over your body, stuck on how his boxer briefs molded to your legs.

“In another life, we could have been happy. I would have given you everything you asked for. But not this one. I will keep you safe but that is all we are. We don’t get our happy ever after until we’re both dead.”

You swallowed, stepping into the living room, stopping a few feet away. “You hurt my arm just now.”

“I know,” he said, closing his eyes. “I’m sorry. It won’t happen again as long as you don’t do stupid things.”

You were getting angry again, Dean holding up his hands. “Stupid shit like try to know my new Alpha who just left me all alone? Sorry for trying to look up your damn social media. Asshole.”

Dean dropped his hands and went back to the fireplace, poking the computer with a poker, shaking his head.

“The more in the dark you are-”

“I’m a corporate forensic analyst, Dean,” you said, Dean’s shoulders stiffening. “Those notes on the computer? In that pad? Those articles? You can burn them all but it’s in my head. I don’t need the internet anymore to figure out what’s going on.”

“And what does your analysis tell you?” he grit out.

“Novi-Alpha is a cancer medication specifically for Alphas. But you don’t have it and never have. So why would an otherwise healthy Alpha take it? Well, it apparently has other uses that the public doesn’t know about…if you’re willing to live with the side effects. Side effects like knotting becoming a deadly activity to the person on the receiving end. The inability to feel your mate. Scent changes. And my personal favorite, if taken without the binding agent that’s given for cancer treatment, it changes your DNA coding without changing your DNA. Apparently law enforcement doesn’t want that news to get out there because it’s a bitch to catch people if they find out they can change their DNA on tests.”

You grabbed his arm and made him face you, a loud crack of thunder echoing in the room. Dean breathed calmly, eyes finding yours.

“Why are you taking medicine to change your DNA?”

“Because I did something bad, Y/N.” He got closer, pressing his chest to yours, forcing you to tilt your head. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

Fingers brushed over your cheek, thumb swiping over the curve of it slowly. “Because your true mate is a monster. And once you know the truth, you’ll want to run away…and I don’t think I’m strong enough to let you go.”

The air was thick with his scent, dark yet pleasant. Painful even. You leaned into his touch, Dean’s green eyes widening ever so slightly.

“Novi-Alpha prevents Omegas from feeling their true mate. But I know you feel me.” You closed your eyes, breathing him in. “You have to tell me the truth eventually.”

“No I don’t,” he whispered. 

“You’ll tell me,” you said, opening your eyes, Dean’s hand sliding down to your mark. “Because I’m in danger if you don’t.”

He shook his head, pulling away from you. “Don’t pull that crap, Y/N. You’re safer not knowing.”

“Right. That’s why you burned everything just now.” He looked up, like someone else would magically tell him what to do. “You need to protect me. It’s your job. So you have to tell me the truth, Alpha. You have to.”

He laughed quietly, running a hand through his damp hair. “Using my title to get what you want. Manipulative. Maybe you were meant for me.”

“Dean-”

“The Ranger.” You raised your eyebrows at him, Dean wandering to the dark window.

“Uh, what? This is because you’re a forest ranger?” He laughed again, crossing his arms.

“No. I do that because…it’s a pretty isolated job. Small town work.” He looked to his right, a sad smile on his face. “The Ranger. That was my name when I had a different job.”

“That’s not a name…” you said, Dean shrugging. “What’d you do when you were The Ranger?”

He smirked, meeting your curious gaze. “Have you ever killed anyone?” 

He slowly stalked back to you, tilting his head. He leaned in close, glancing at your lips. “N-No, can’t say I have.”

“Ever kill an animal?”

“I hit a squirrel with my car once. I cried all night for that.” Dean rested his forehead against yours, his scent rolling off of him in powerful waves. “D-Do you hunt animals?”

“No.” He brushed his lips to the shell of your ear, his pulse strangely calm. “Now people, that’s a different story.”

_______

A/N: Read Part 2 here!

[idlerin]

nonsense — 29. helpless, breathless

“you’re sick,” you scolded as discreetly as you could as you passed by oikawa on your way to the tent. it was a barely noticeable phrase but you knew he heard. he’s not supposed to be wandering this area without someone assisting him, he caught your eye whilst marching on under the scorching heat as another feat of wonders of working in general— today was a bit different, the cast and crew had to go travel to a secluded beach two hours away from the city to film. oikawa’s worsening condition was even more evident in broad daylight and not in the confines of a studio, well, to you, since no one else has suspected a thing with how he looked perfectly fine objectively and how he acted completely normal, only people who truly knew him and his little ticks would notice.

you could feel his gaze on the back of your head and sense he started following after you, in case his shadow you spot in your peripheral vision wasn’t enough. you glance to the side to see everyone busy with setting up the set, but surely, there was someone who was going to be looking for oikawa. he most probably sneaked out of his van because his head ached too unbearably, and whenever he had a headache you remember he thought walking would help in easing the pain.

you let out a heaving breath as you balance the folders tucked in your arms, turning to the right the moment you were supposed to enter the tent, continuing on your trek through the white sand, far enough to be hidden behind a large rock. right then, you turn abruptly and huff at oikawa.

he was tucked in one of his hoodies, eyes wide with bleariness, the first thing he says is a lie, "i'm not sick."

it was so unconvincing you were offended that he would think that would work on you. he sees the look on your face and backtracks, looking to the side, at the ocean and juts his lower lip out like a child who didn’t want to give in but knows he's already caught so he didn’t really have any other choice, "okay… i'm not very sick."

you leered at him, and with firm determination, removed a hand on the folder you're clutching to place a hand on his forehead, “you’re burning!” you say with alarm.

oikawa finally looks at you, raises a brow, the corner of his lips turning up subtly, he had the gall to be amused by this and for what? “in your words, that’s excessi–”

you use the same hand that was previously on his forehead to slap his chest, half to scold him, half to shut him up, “have you had a check up with your doctor?"

“well, i.. uhm i didn’t have.. time," oikawa tucks his hood to cover himself more, wincing at the heat. his headaches are acting up again, you deduce.

"have you been eating?" you size him up, the entirety of his 6 foot 1 form slouching, like he was trying to make himself look more meek so you would go easier on him.

"uh ye-" oikawa and you lock eyes, you glare at him, he sighs, "i've been eating enough to not starve," he offers.

"so you haven't been eating enough," you seeth. before you could start scolding him again you hear voices starting to get near, your eyes widen a fraction before you hiss at him to go along first, begrudgingly.

oikawa looks back at you with hesitance before you nudge his shoulder for him to go before the both of you would get caught– but no, those aren’t the right words, it made it sound as if you two were doing something suspicious that you currently would not like to expand on, you were merely looking out for him as a.. as a concerned citizen.

after urging him away, you hear him talking to a few people, explaining how he wanted to see the view and wandered around, so these were the people looking for him. he managed to divert their attention to go back to the site, all while you thought you looked stupid hiding behind a big stupid rock. after a few minutes you came running back to the tent to deliver the files, apologizing about being late. you think they said that it was fine, you weren’t sure, since the response you were given was in the form of "hm" and pointing to where you should leave it.

you went to seek out akane, who was helping people out with the set because she finished her menial tasks earlier— at least until someone were to order her to do something. you offered to lend a hand and it wasn't your fault your gaze tended to wander to a certain brown haired stubborn ill person who was conversing with the director over you wouldn’t know what instead of getting as much rest as he can with the shooting not officially beginning.

you swear he wants to make you worry.

wait.

you didn't have to worry about him this much.

you groan internally.

but you do, and you really can't stop.

alright, you admitted to not hating him, a sad fact, and you did embarrassingly admit to missing him as well, let us point out that he said it first, so you could hardly blame yourself for responding. you were still unsure on what you wanted to do with your lingering feelings. what did you want? did you want him? did you still want to be with him?

ah.

you freeze in the middle of your shocking realization with thy self, eye twitching but eventually making yourself snap out of it at the expense of making everyone else think you were being weird, by everyone else you really meant akane, who was beside you and had a front row seat to your complicated emotions that really weren’t all that complicated but it feels as if it is.

having this little moment in the middle of bustling people really wasn’t convenient, oh god, you and your horrible timing. you can't help yourself and just stop looking at his direction, you should stop, so what if—

"oikawa-san!" a shrill startled voice snapped you out of your argument with yourself as you glance at the direction of the commotion, as with everyone who was within range. your eyes glance worriedly over to where oikawa was being helped up by his manager and a person who was near and within reach. you watch as oikawa tries to shake it off with laughter, telling everyone to continue with what they were doing. your hands flex on the box you were carrying, resisting the urge to go assist him. you can't do that, everybody would think it’s weird.

"are you alright, oikawa-san?" you heard someone ask. you go on with your work as with everybody else and let the few people there handle the situation.

you keep your ears open on their end though.

you hear oikawa's laughter, "i'm alright, just got a bit dizzy, perhaps it's too hot here?" he excuses, you walk away and didn't get to hear what the director, who was still there, and oikawa’s manager, said. you hope they're telling him to go and rest, they probably were, but oikawa was probably insisting that he was fine and more than ready to work.

"psst, why are you so distracted?" akane bumps your shoulder with hers. you blink a few times, a stuttered out 'what?' your only response.

"exactly! what's the matter with you today? you should be enjoying, it's fun to be out here for a change! it's so peaceful!" akane grins, emphasizing the 'out here' with her arms spread and pointing out the view, despite the many equipment placed in the secluded area. the peacefulness was the onslaught of people busily and methodically working. 

"it's nothing, maybe i just lack a bit of sleep," you smile at her to keep her at bay.

akane just nods and crosses her arms, free from holding stuff, which reminds you to put what you were holding down, "hey, do you think oikawa-san is okay? the way he lost balance out there is kinda worrying you know?"

tell me about it. little did she know that's exactly what you were stressing about.

you watched behind one of your superiors as oikawa and another actor— kawashima moyashi, a rising actor on his own right— was acting out their scene. everyone was dead silent watching everything play out. it was already around four in the afternoon and the filming for the day was almost complete, according to your supervisor who was also very tired and couldn’t wait to go home early for once. the scene playing out had been repeated two times now because oikawa was dissatisfied with how he performed.

once the director yelled cut, oikawa immediately went out of character, “was that alright?”

the director agreed cheerily, enthusiastically saying, “perfect! i loved it, truly!” —wow you were watching the political hierarchy of filming in person— while the others were clearing the props.

oikawa finally smiled, relieved, and started walking over, his manager trailing behind him with oikawa’s water bottle and jacket.

you keep your eye on oikawa for a little while, only snapping out of it when akane tugs on your arm, saying you guys should head to where akane parked her car— she gave you a ride here. akane pulls on your wrist, eventually when you get a hold of yourself you say, "yeah, yes, okay let's go."

meanwhile, the director talked about oikawa’s further projects and if it was going to interfere with the filming schedule, oikawa reassured him it would be fine, but then the director said no, he was asking so to make the filming schedules suitable for him. oikawa’s manager cut in, saying that oikawa needed to get ready for another shoot this evening and that they had to hurry.

"have you been taking your migraine pills?" his manager asked when they were a bit far away from everyone, on the way to his van. oikawa had a hand clutching his head again which was why he asked if he was taking his pills, the migraines weren’t a new thing after all.

"yes," oikawa replies, keeping it to himself that it wasn’t just a migraine. he can't rest now, he still has a lot to do.

"let's take a break before we go to the shoot. where would you like to go, oikawa?" his manager asked once they were nearing the vehicle. 

"i…" oikawa had to stop walking for a second. his face scrunched in pain, he had to press his other hand to his forehead to help in easing the pain. he only needed to get in the van, why won't his body just cooperate?

"oikawa?" he hears the voice of sato, who seemed more distant than before.

"i'm fi— shit," oikawa leans back on the sleek cover of his van, breathing heavily. "i just need—" swallowing a deep breath, "—a break."

"oikawa perhaps we should…"

his manager was talking but oikawa couldn't understand most of what sato was saying. it was too hot. was he the only one feeling as if it's too hot? but at the same time, it was cold. he was sweating. his hair was rising because of the cold—heat. his chest felt restricted, finding it a bit difficult to breathe. but it's fine, it was going to be fine. sato said they can take a break, oikawa thinks that would be nice. he just needed to close his eyes for a moment and they could get going. he pushes himself off the van and starts, "let's go—"

oikawa falls to his knees. fuck.

"tooru!"

that wasn't sato.

hands were on his shoulders, firm but gentle, "you're so stupid."

[name].

were you being impulsive? yes, absolutely. were you going to regret this later on? also a yes, most probably.

you were talking to akane, fiddling with your phone to pass time because riseki was going to be tagging along but he was finishing some things up back in the site and you both opted waiting for him, but not without being a little mean and chatting in the group chat that you guys were going to leave him behind. that was when your eyes wandered to where oikawa was walking with his manager. you jerked away from your idle position when he leant on his car quite abruptly. you completely leave your post when you watch as his legs go numb.

it was foolish. definitely, his manager was right there, he was going to be fine without you to rush to his side. it was foolish, but now you were kneeling beside him, your hands were clutching his shoulders and you were very frantic.

"don't you dare pass out!" you were angry, biting your lower lip furiously. one of your hands reached up to brush his hair away from his face because you noticed that he was sweating a lot.

"[n/n]," he calls out weakly, and yet the way he said his nickname for you made your mind swirl, "you were right," he breathes heavily, "i am sick."

"are you trying to be funny right no—" you were huffing out, exasperated.

"let's get him home, i'll call his physician," you forgot his manager was here. you looked up at the guy, it wasn't the first time you've seen him, it wasn't the first time he's seen you. though you do have a hard time recalling people's names, was his… sa.. sa something.

"okay.." you say, rising from your position on the ground and lifting oikawa up with the help of mr. sa-something. oikawa's manager opens the door to the van and you urge oikawa inside while he could still move.

once you were satisfied that oikawa was sitting and assured yourself he was going to be fine, you attempted to move your hands away, and you had to go back to akane of course. akane who's seeing everything unfolding right now. you dread the latter that comes and you were going to have a lot of explaining to do.

oikawa grabs a hold of your wrists, eyes fluttering open, "where are you going?" he was blinking furiously, still battling with his head, and he was obviously frowning.

"i have to.. " you begin and the disappointment was evident on his face, cursing you and your tendency to go weak for him, "well maybe i.."

"you should come with him," his manager makes the decision for you. you lock eyes with him and he looks away, "he's going to need someone other than me to help."

to you, he sounded the most sensible, clearly, that was why you were going in the van.

you make one look back to where akane was, and your eyes lock on hers and riseki's, great, more people. you blinked twice, they blinked back, before your view was blocked with oikawa's manager slamming the door shut.

oikawa didn't let go of your hand even for one moment.

even when you dragged him to his bedroom, across the lavish floors of his penthouse, which made it quite a difficult task since his bedroom was upstairs. even when his physician came in, looking haggard since you assume they had rushed to go here when oikawa's manager called, they didn't forget to give you a quick nod of acknowledgement, before going to oikawa's side and asking him questions. even when he eventually drifted off to sleep.

he was acting like a kid, the last time he got sick, you could vaguely remember him being childish too. it was kind of… nice to know that he didn't change that much.

"[name]-san, can you watch oikawa for a bit, at least before i come back? i have to talk to the coordinators of the shoot oikawa was supposed to do this evening and ask them to reschedule," his manager said, already gathering his things.

oikawa’s physician was in the corner, finishing writing stuff down, "sato, get him these medications while you're at it," his physician handed him the prescriptions, "make sure he takes them for a week, his fever is high, you should've called me sooner."

sato— you've finally gotten his name! you knew it started with sa— nodded, and turned back to face you, "sorry for making you do this favor, i know it might be a bit.. awkward."

"it's alright," you say, and look down at your hand that oikawa had a fierce grip on, "i don't think i could go even if i wanted to," you attempted to joke to lighten the mood.

oikawa's manager let out a small smile before nodding to you and leaving, the physician also waved to you before following out. it didn't take long before you were alone with tooru. with him like this, it was easy to feel… well, easy. you were thinking of what to make him for dinner, he needed to eat something as much as he needed to rest. even just some soup would be good— but a meal would probably be best. but first, you have to make him let go of you.

you first attempt the most rational thing, which is pulling your hand away, but that makes his lids open, and now he was staring at you, "are you leaving?" he says after a few seconds of merely looking at each other. 

"i'm not," you say, though not very convincingly, which is probably why he won’t let you go.

"you were pulling away," he says, and it sounded like a complaint. 

"i was just planning to go and—"

"so you were planning to leave," to show just how displeased he was, he made a move to interlock your hands. was he losing his reasoning because he was sick? at this, you roll your eyes.

"i was just going to make you some food to eat, i’ll be right back,” you were trying to subtly shake your hand away, “go back to sleep," you say.

he tightens his hold, scrutinizing you, "you promise?"

you blink, did he really want to do this right now? he wasn't faltering, even if you knew he wanted to shut his eyes closed. he was really selling the act of a child, even more because of the cloth on his forehead.

"i promise," you say with finality, when he deemed you sincere enough, he reluctantly let go of your hand. it made you smile damn it. because he was being good, you hold his hand and draw little circles on his palm to make him sleepy, "go back to sleep," like your voice had incredible powers, he drifted off to sleep again.

you let go of him and went down to check his fridge to see what you were going to have to be working with. he thankfully had a storage of a healthy variety of food— though he kind of has to because of his profession— so it was easy to prepare his meal. you did have to go down to the grocery store beside his building once to buy some vegetables oikawa was running out of.  

an hour passed by and you were heading back to oikawa's room, tray in hand with a bowl of the food you prepared and some water. you open the door as silent as you could, the door creaked anyways. you glimpse at oikawa to see that he was still asleep, you place the tray down on his bedside table and instead grab the cloth placed on his head to replace it with a new one.

you were in the middle of fixing it on his forehead when he grasps your wrist, it was like he sensed whenever you were attempting to do anything to him and automatically had to wake up just to see you.

"you stayed," oikawa says, voice groggy.

"i told you i was just going to prepare you food," you say, leaning back to have a proper conversation with him, "i was planning to make you sleep some more before waking you to eat, but since you're already awake you might as well eat now. your manager still hasn't come back with your medicine so you better replenish your energy. why do you overwork so much? don't you have a say with how much work you take on? you do, don't you? but you probably think 'a few wouldn't be overkill, and it establishes my fame' without any regards about your health. what i'm saying is, take care of yourself and stuff," you huff.

oikawa reaches for your hand and gently makes it so that you cup his face, he closes his eyes for a moment, relishing in the heat that radiates off of you, "mhm, care for me more."

"you're enjoying this?" your brows furrow.

"you're giving me a lot of attention, so yeah," oikawa murmurs, his eyes still closed.

you felt your cheeks turn warm, "you have to eat."

"later," oikawa sighs when you brush your thumb over his eyelids.

"no," you take your touch away, much to oikawa's dismay. you make your way to grab a chair and place it on the other side of his bed, you take the tray and place it on your lap while oikawa watches you the whole time.

he then says the oddest thing.

"feed me?" it wasn't a question, it was more of a request.

"you look like you're well enough, you're even making demands," you snark, because of course you had to.

"no.. i'm still feeling very awful.. my head still hurts and my throat is starting to get sore, and my hand kind of hurts so you have to feed me," oikawa was being dramatic by the end, he knew it, you knew it, and yet you couldn't resist a small smile to adorn your face. you couldn't help but be overcome with relief too, since if he could be ridiculous then he was better now because he got some rest.

"you're acting like a kid," you say but you were already gathering a spoonful of food and taking it to his lips. oikawa was a very willing recipient.

"do you hate it?" oikawa asks, trying to catch your gaze but you were actively avoiding meeting eyes with him and much preferred to just look at the food, and to his lips, oh but looking at his lips was a bad idea, so you focus on looking at the spoon instead.

"yes," you say without much bite, continuing your notions of feeding him.

"you hate me?" oikawa asks again, as if he needed a lot more reassurance.

"i do," you answer, because you were a menace.

"you said you didn't."

"i'm taking it back."

a comfortable silence goes over you two, with you continuing with your ministrations, peacefully feeding him the food. while oikawa was admiring you, in disbelief again that you were really here in front of him. that you stayed with him. that he couldn't help but say words that made you freeze on the spot.

"can you take me back too?"

your eyes widen and you finally look at him, "what?"

"if you still want me, can you give me another chance?" oikawa waited with a baited breath for your response, his heart was pounding and he felt breathless, and it wasn't because he had a fever. it was because you were breathtaking, your presence was breathtaking, and he didn't know if he could last without the comfort of knowing he had the right to look at you and feel like this.

“[name],”  he says your name in that way again. the one that makes your insides feel wonky and you can’t believe it, he’s so.. he is so.. he makes you want to scream. your eyes were feeling warm, you didn’t mean to, but perhaps with this morning and what was happening now and just—

"are you not just saying nonsense because you're sick," you blink furiously, trying to hold back the frustrated tears. your hands were shaky as you placed the utensils in the bowl and you were placing the tray back to the side.

oikawa lifts himself up more from the bed and reaches over to your hands, to stop the shaking or just because you don’t know. he was looking at you, asking to hold you, you let him. he could see your watery eyes and he was holding your hands so gently it made you want to stand up, turn around and run away, but you don’t.

"no..” oikawa made sure he was clear, “i want to be with you again, [name], if you'd take me back. by taking me back, i don’t mean i’d immediately be your boyfriend again, i want to prove to you that i deserve you. besides, with or without a label, i’m yours."

he was waiting for your response. you swallow back your tears, emotional, you’ve always been. oikawa made soothing circles on the back of your hand, mirror to the one you were doing to his earlier. while you sat there and tried to process everything, everything that happened, about how he made you feel— how he makes you feel, the good, the bad, and everything in between. you were thinking about everything you went through with him, everything you went through because of him.

oikawa was never going to just be someone you knew.

he was always going to be something more.

he was everything.

do you want to let him be everything to you again?

“i won’t make it easy for you.”

masterlist — previous | next

✦ fun facts !

ever since [name] was caught viewing and liking oikawa’s tweets she’s been using her priv account to view oikawa related tweets lmao

oikawa has tried to crochet once and he tried to make a frog, keyword, tried, and it ended up looking like a dead squashed cockroach.

nonsense ! an oikawa tooru social media au

synopsis. you were oikawa tooru’s #1 fan, until you became his #1 hater. you hated him so much you went viral on twitter (accidentally) and literally became known as “the oikawa tooru hater”, doesn’t help that he keeps fueling the fire by subtweeting you. everyone is all in for this new drama. what isn’t known to the public, is that this particular drama’s been on hold for three years (him being your ex and all).

a/n — GUYS HI hehehe (acts like i didnt ud for a month) anw i swear theres no like angsty angst ANYWAYS GROVELING ERA

taglist is closed ! + (1/2) @kawaii-angelanne @ceneridiankaa @kittycasie @rukia-uchiha-98 @polish-cereal @kellesvt @rockleeisbaeeee @kashxyou @imsoluvly @jjulliette @tooruchiiscribs @littlefreakjulia @gomjohs @qualitygiantshoepsychic @mellowknightcolorfarm @konzumeken @migosple @kuroogguk @sangwooooo @katsu-shi @wolffmaiden @rijhi @2baddies-1porsche @yeehawcity @aishkaaa @crueldinasty @renardiererin @yyuiz @llamakenma @penguinlovestowrite @princelingperfect @hearts4faey @yoonabeo @pantherhappy @julia-1901 @godsbiggestmenace @angel-luv-04 @noideawhothatis @bethbat @natsvmie @luna-mothii @lylovw @apinu @leave-rae-alone @kamikokii @bananasquash @eitaababe @minimari415 @hanabihwa @nilopillo

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

What do you say about 2 most despised characters in the fandom: Andre the Ice Cream Man and Thomas’s self-insert?

Are they the most despised characters? I feel like that honor goes to more prevalent characters like Gabriel, Lila, or André Bourgeois, but I could be wrong. Either way, my thoughts on the two you asked about are as follows:

Andre the Ice Cream Man

Andre reminds me of the weeping angels from Dr. Who. Great - or in this case fine - initial concept, but the more they show up, the less sense they make because the rules keep changing.

If we go by his initial appearance, then he's just some guy who can magically sense who you're supposed to be with and who gives you ice cream to point you to them. That's a cute concept for a rom-com. I can even accept him getting akumatized when he first shows up because, if you're a magical match maker who delights in love, then it makes sense that you'd be sad to see someone giving up on love even if it's just a teenager being dramatic. Those feelings are still quite real plus this show is aimed at little kids. They're going to view Marinette's heartbreak more seriously than an adult audience.

Unfortunately, every subsequent appearance ruins the initial setup by changing Andre's rules, turning him into a pretty obnoxious character. If he can sense perfect matches, then why does Marichat set him off? Shouldn't he be able to sense that this is a perfect match? And why didn't Adrigami set him off in the season three final? They got ice cream without him throwing a fit while Marichat was refused service once and caused an akumatization another time! That makes no sense. Does this man sense true matches or just support whatever couple comes to see him? And what happened to the whole, "anyone who eats his ice cream together stays together forever" thing? Consistency matters, people! Pick a lane! Obnoxious shipper who can't take a hint or true magical match maker. Which is he?

Based on his initial appearance and rules, Andre should be the only person in Paris who knows the truth of the square right from the start. If they'd done that, then he could have been a fun character that was used to subtly push the square together and give them an odd feeling of hope in dark moments where their love is wavering. After all, who doesn't love ice cream when nursing a broken heart? It could have been a cute running gag where Andre shows up with ice cream every time a part of the square is moping. Instead we get whatever nonsense canon is doing with him because even the super minor characters suffer from how wildly inconsistent canon is.

I'll end the Andre discussion by saying that I'm not sure if I'll ever forgive the writers for having Andre be the one to out Marinette's crush on Adrien. Five seasons of waiting and that's it? That's the big reveal? You are not getting me hyped for the actual big reveal, guys. Between this and the what-if episodes always making someone look terrible, my feelings about the eventual square reveal are basically just low-key dread. Thank goodness there are so many solid reveals in the fandom to give me the satisfaction I crave!

Thomas’s self-insert

Confession time, I didn't know that this was a self-insert when I watched this episode. I thought that Thomas' character was just a gag about how most people don't really know what directors do because that is certainly a thing. The fine details of individual roles in the entertainment industry are kind of nebulous to industry outsiders. We can see this in the fact that people often attribute way too much power to individuals and ignore how many people are involved in making movies and TV shows.

One of my favorite stories about this is the fact that a Star Trek writer had his episode win a Hugo only for him to completely disavow the episode because they changed his script so much after he turned it in. This is not a unique story, btw. Stuff like this happens all the time. It's why I've mentioned that I use "writers" as a bit of a catch-all term for "anyone who effects the story telling" for simplicity's sake. Though I will note that, outside of season one, every season of Miraculous was written by a team. Members of that team are then credited as directors, so these guys have a lot more powers than the guy who won the Hugo. The guy who won the Hugo won it because Star Trek was apparently being run like Miraculous was in season one when the show was written by a bunch of different writers who just sold scripts for individual episode and those scripts then got worked into a final version by a smaller core team. Film is a complicated industry like that.

Anyway, back to the character question!

I now know that this was a self-inset, but it doesn't really change my initial feelings about the episode. All of the problems come from Marinette's writing, not Thomas' self-insert character. I'm actually not sure why his character gets so much hate. As far as bad self-inserts go, it was pretty tame. I'm not sure if I'd even call it bad. Thomas wasn't painted as a god or anything like that. He was the butt of a running joke that I didn't find very funny, but I do think that it indicates a level of humility to let your self-insert be seen as less than perfect. He doesn't even take credit for being both a writer and a director:

Jagged: Ladybug is one of my best buds! I can't wait to see her movie! Thomas: Well I'm— I'm the director, so actually it's more my movie, so to speak. Jagged: Oh, so you're the one who created the story? Thomas: Well, technically the screen writers wrote the story, inspired by Ladybug's exploits. Jagged: Oh, ok. So you did all the drawings? Thomas: No, no. The animators do all the drawings. Jagged: So what do you do then? Thomas: Well I—

Now that I know that this character is a self-insert, also I find this moment at the end a lot more cute:

Thomas:(after seeing the conversation) You know what. Take my seat and enjoy the movie. I've seen it ten times or more. What matters the most for the movie is to be seen by people who really want to see it right? Marinette: (stutters) But... I-I... Uh... But... Thomas: Sorry, I guess you don't know who I am either Marinette: Of course do. You're Thomas Astruc the movie director! (hugs him) Oh thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you! Thomas: She recognized me. Somebody actually recognized me! (wipes away tears) This is the best day of my life! 

I may not like major elements of this dude's show, but I really don't see this as an ego trip. I see it as a nice moment between creator and creation, possibly because I got to view the episode without any biases when I first watched it. I'm not sure if knowing the full story would have changed my read, though, because I really do think that it's fine for writers and directors to put themselves in minor roles in their creation. You have to come up with so many characters for a story like this, why not let a random akuma be based on you?

To give you a little perspective, the head writers of the show RWBY both voice characters in the show. Once again, I have no problem with that, especially since RWBY didn't have the massive budget you need in order to hire a bunch of voice actors. The thing that I do judge them for is the fact that both of their characters get unnecessary romance plots with major characters. One of the writer's characters - a guy named Jaune - even gets an obnoxious amount of screen time to the point where he feels like more of a main character than some of the actual main characters.

This whole video analyzing that show is excellent and may be worth a watch even if you've never watched RWBY because it plays with some of the same general genres as Miraculous and suffers from some similar writing problems, but I'll give you two specific time links to parts that talk about the self-insert problem so that you can see what I mean if you'd like a little more context:

The RWBY issue is the kind of setup where finding out that it's an author self-insert makes me uncomfortable. These two characters have some pretty clear writing problems, so learning that they're also self-inserts? Not a great look. It makes it feel like the writers were prioritizing their self-insert characters over telling a good story. That's not what we got in Miraculous so Thomas' character seriously doesn't phase me. I doubt it would phase most salters if the overall show was actually good.

[discotechque]

oh, i think you’re standing on my left foot

pairing: jamie tartt/gn! reader word count: 915 warnings: allusions to nsfw requested: no

establishing myself as a ted lasso fan and s2 jamie tartt ... i miss you and your mess!!!

if there's one thing you learned during your time tethered with jamie is that there are no good relationships, only boring ones.

Jamie watches you like prey. It’s the only real way to subtly attract what he wants. Lingering glances, a trailing hand, circling around your frame. To be wanted is to be hunted, you've learned that he is not interested in things that don't give chase.

It's a motivation, after all, a purpose that keeps your relationship relatively stable. You are caught within his bite, punctured right through your chest and stiches slowly pulling apart. He sews them back up through fleeting meaningless affection. If neither of you had that, this would have surely failed long ago.

So, you're not particularly bothered at his sudden departure from Richmond to Manchester. His physical presence comes without attachments and dialogue is exchanged through some messages. His appearance on a dating show wasn't anything of note. There's not enough shame in him to weigh a full ounce an even that description is grossly generous. You didn't mind him crawling back into your lap after his status had been stripped for him and he was a liability only you could handle.

You are not jaded by his worst qualities, it's something you've learned to embrace over short moments. Realistic is a term that sits well as coffee pours from his sponsored Keurig. It already looks dent and worn despite being a newer model, obvious marks of his most epic battle of configuring basic technology. The machine spurred to life only after a second and doesn't even fill your cup halfway. It's a shame because Jaime only buys shitty holiday creamers, lured by their supposed seasonal exclusivity.

He's forced you to bring your own, the splash of French vanilla hardly does anything to increase volume. Imposed domesticity, is there anything more romantic than that? Some would argue that's all this arrangement is.

"You're up early, eh?" His voice doesn't spark your attention.

The patting of his feet trickles alongside him as he treks downstairs. This house is fraught with empty crevices that echo any sound that grazes their walls. The sound of a spoon swilling in your cup is deafening, it's somewhere around seven in the morning. Jaime doesn't keep any clocks near him—your guess is purely intuitive, and this attempt of an early departure has gone unnoticed.

His arm slips past your waist and plants itself against the marble counter, a chaste kiss pressed against your collarbone follows in quick succession. He's nothing if not a man composed of unrecognized rhythm. "Gettin' real sick of me already?"

His canines lightly dig into your shoulder, teasing teeth marks that will somehow inevitably find themselves in planned positions later on. Jaime takes time with his hunt, what he's struck down is his alone. You don't altogether mind the implications of it.

His bare pelvis grazes against your backside but he's still soft. The grasp he's kept on your waist is tender alike to his tone. He's reeling you in for more. "Don't ask stupid questions. Your sudden modesty isn't doing you any favors."

Modesty is an exaggeration. If you hadn't chosen dramatics, you would have settled on slim dignity.

His hair tickles the back of your neck, face resting against the dip in your shoulder. "Least, I didn' beg you to stay. What an absolute sad sack of shit I would be." He would have done so though; you don't dare to say it out loud. Instead, a complacent grin rises upon your lips as you turn within his hold.

He would've stuttered through some messy halfhearted apology that only concerned itself with fibs if you hadn't taken him back after everything. You wonder if he would've resorted to some insincere confession. I really like you; the words would be chewed out into sticky syllables, molasses coating each one.

The thought would be so amusing if you didn't know that in another life, it would be true.

"The day Jamie Tartt has to beg to get his way will be when hell in unleashed."

Your hands languidly wrap around his neck, fingers loosing connecting near his upper back. Scratching a trail along his clothed spine and he hums in affirmation. Jaime shuts his eyes, keeping his hands on you and shallowly swaying.

"D'ya always have to speak so melodramatic?" Unsubtly, his grasp manages to travel down your waist. Small squeezes encouraging you to find a seat on his marble countertops. "Nothin' like oh yeah, Jamie, I think ya so smart and I want your cock."

His suggestions are something you often resist at first.

"You ever hear me say cock in this lifetime and I want you to hire a militia firing squad to go at me. Promise me that."

His first curls up nearly your shoulder, it's gone through a hesitantly travel you've only been acutely aware of. There's an instinct for Jamie to cup your face, you can sense his conflict over such an insignificant action. "I'm not good on promises, love."

"Yeah," his calloused fingers return to dig into your thighs. They aide you in finding some purchase on the cramped enclosure. In the meanwhile, you trail light pecks along his jaw. "I'm aware."

He wants you this morning, roaming down the length of your frame with precision. Just like he did last night and just like all the other nights where you'll stumble into his home with him half bruised. Somehow, he's been made the epitome of temptation in your eyes. You don't think prey often wish to be devoured.

It doesn't matter. You'll indulge him this once.

[breathlesslink]

Chapter 2 — Kimi

[chapter warnings: rude bitches, panic attack]

t.o.c ; << | >>

"Do I know my way around Hyrule? Do you not?" You gazed at the boy's pointed ears. "You're Hylian, you should know your way around. You're from here."

Link looked away from you. "I don't remember." He mumbled.

"What?"

"I don't remember." He said a little louder. "I, uh, got injured. And now I don't remember anything. I need to talk to Impa, but I don't know who that is or where they are here."

Impa. What a familiar name. She was the elder of Kakariko when you were still young, and you supposed by the sound of it she was still kicking. Good for her.

"I might be able to show you to her, but that's as far as my knowledge goes." You smiled sheepishly. "I don't know Hyrule either, except for Gerudo Desert. The rest I've only seen through maps."

Link raised an eyebrow. "Aren't you a traveler?"

"This is only my first week of it. I left on my twentieth birthday a few days ago." You shook your head, not wanting to delve further into why you didn't know anything about Hyrule and grabbed Link's wrist. "Come on, let's go see Impa. I think I remember where she stays.”

If the elder Sheikah remembered you, she didn't show it. Instead, she focused on the man in front of you, ushering you upstairs with a girl named Paya as quickly as you had entered.

Paya was around the same age as you, yet seemed completely different. She was nearly spastic, moving around her room with no purpose other than to fidget. She answered your attempts at conversation with one-word answers, only reciprocating when she wanted to turn it towards the stranger downstairs.

"Link, you said his name is? Is he your boyfriend?"

At the question, you awkwardly laughed. "Him? No, I just met him not too long ago and he asked me to bring him here."

"Oh," Paya sounded relieved. Your tight smile turned into a real one as you sensed a wonderful opportunity.

"Yeah, he's real cute, isn't he?" You subtly tried to tease, "He might be into you. I saw him looking our way when we were leaving."

Paya turned a bright red, matching the accents of her outfit nearly perfectly. "R-really?!" Her voice raised a few notches, "I- there's no way! Maybe he was looking at you, you're gorgeous!"

"I'm nothing like you," You made a face, slightly playing it up to see how far this would go while simultaneously rejecting the compliment, "If there's any gal Link might be into, it's you."

Paya seemed to swoon at the thought, but before she could respond Impa's voice called you both down from her room. Link stood where you left him, but this time with a different wardrobe. He had a bright blue tunic on, matching his eyes nearly perfectly.

You weren't the only one who noticed, though, as you noticed the red on Paya's face returning.

Link thanked Impa and glanced at you— a silent way of saying "let's go". You followed him out and began your trek back to the hotel.

"What did she say?"

"She said that I could maybe get my memories back by going to places that I have pictures of."

"Pictures? Do you have a camera or something?"

"Or something." Link reached for his belt and grabbed some device— you recognized it as a Sheikah Slate, old technology you learned about while scouring the poor excuse of a library in the Yiga hideout. They weren't the smartest, so books were uncommon. "This isn't mine, it's an old friend's. She has these pictures of places we've apparently gone together, but I have to go to Hateno to get it fixed."

Together? Were they together? Goddess, that would suck if Link had a girlfriend he didn't even remember. Poor chick.

"So you're going to go to these places and just... what? Hope for the best?"

Link shrugged. "If I have the time, yeah. I have more important things to do right now."

"Like?"

Link didn't answer, instead opening the door to the Inn and letting you in first. He went to his bed and sat down, pulling out the slate and swiping through it. A while passed and Link continued to just stare at the screen, brows furrowed in what was probably some attempt at remembering his past.

"You're gonna get a headache from looking at that."

"I already have one."

You stood up and went over to his bed, slipping the slate out of his hands and turning it towards yourself. "Why is the map blank?"

"I have to go to certain towers to get a map of each region."

"Ohh, those weird super tall glowy things?" You grinned like a child in a candy shop when Link nodded, "They just showed up a little bit ago. What, were they made specifically for you?"

"Kind of? And those shrines are too. I just wish I knew where to go and where I am."

"Goddess, you must be mighty special for a bunch of ancient technology to just work for you." You joked.

Link looked at you with a look you didn't really recognize. "You said you just started traveling. Do you have a paper map?"

"I do." You turned and dug into your bag, pulling it out and unrolling it in between you. You also grabbed a pen, just in case. "Where do you need to go next?"

"According to Impa, first Hateno. Then Zora's Domain, Eldin, Rito Village, and Gerudo in no specific order."

"Hm," You looked at the map, "That order seems to be the most practical— starting close and then traveling to the further ones. It just works out that Hateno is first on our way, I need to go there too."

At that, Link paused. "Our way?"

"Yeah, I'm coming with you. I need to go to those places too, so it works."

"Uh, absolutely not." Link shook his head and took the pen from your hand, "My journey is way too dangerous for you."

"What?" You grabbed the pen back, "We have the same journey— we're going to the same places. How is that too dangerous? If anything, it would be safer to travel together."

"I just wouldn't be able to protect myself and someone else, you know?"

"Who said I needed you to protect me?" You were a little offended. Was this because you were a woman? "I can handle myself."

Link raised an eyebrow as if to challenge that. "Y/N-"

"Listen, you don't remember anything, right? You need someone who at least knows a little bit. I might not have actually traveled but I read books and know people who do. I know the monsters and the cultures of the regions and all that shit. You need that. Let me come along and help. I'll stay out of whatever shit you have to do."

Link seemed to think about it for a moment and then sighed. "Fine."

You cheered and looked back down at the map, marking the locations you needed to go to— the main towns in every region, stables, smaller villages, and Hateno itself. "First, Hateno. Then, to East Necluda to Zora's Domain."

"Why do you need to go to Hateno so badly?"

You looked up at him and raised an eyebrow. "If I tell you my mission, you have to tell me yours."

"...We'll see."

"My little sister lives there. I haven't seen her in four years, so I need to visit. As for the rest of Hyrule, I'm looking for my brother. We all got separated." Link looked as if he was going to ask questions, so you interrupted. "You?"

"I have to tame the Divine Beasts."

You couldn't contain the loud laugh that erupted from your throat. "I'm sorry- what? Ganon controls those beasts, nobody can tame them except for the Cham...pions..."

You trailed off, suddenly putting two and two together.

Link's name was familiar to you. You'd heard it numerous times.

The Hylian Champion, destined to destroy Ganon with the Sword that Sealed the Darkness.

The Yiga drilled it into your head that he was a bad guy. You didn't believe them when they said he'd return, and yet you sat in front of him, talking as if he was a long-lost friend.

"I thought the Champions died 100 years ago."

"They did. I almost did, but I was put into a healing shrine on the Great Plateau. I woke up about a week ago. No memories, nothing. Just the Sheikah Slate and the ghost of the King telling me what I have to do."

"That's— wow. That's a shocker." You didn't know what to say. The traumatized part of you was conflicted— riddled with guilt. Guilt for betraying the organization you grew up brainwashed into, but also guilt because this guy seemed like a great dude. And yet you were trained to kill people like him. Or more specifically, just him. "So what if I just joined you on this little adventure and didn't fight the Beasts with you? Would you feel better then?"

"I definitely would."

"Deal."

"Deal." Link held out his hand and you grabbed it, feeling the rough callouses on his palm and the warmth of his skin that seemed to seep into your own. You were both definitely holding this handshake for too long.

You coughed awkwardly and pulled your hand away, rolling the map back up and tucking it into your bag before sitting in your own bed. "Wake me up when you're ready to leave. Goodnight, Link."

"Goodnight, Y/N."

———

"This is fucking stupid."

"You're fucking stupid. Drop the attitude or I'm leaving your ass."

"You're the one who woke me up at 5am, Link! You can't be mad at me for that when we didn't go to bed until 1."

"If you're gonna adventure, you gotta get used to running on little sleep. From here on out, it's tough."

You huffed and crossed your arms, focusing on Taz's mane as Link rode his own horse beside you. "Shit sucks."

"Imagine having the fate of Hyrule on your shoulders along with that."

You cut your eyes at him. "I liked you better when you were quiet."

At that, Link let out a little laugh. It was the first time you'd heard him laugh and it was a pretty sound. You smiled back, ignoring the slight tinge of heat in your cheeks.

"Thanks for this, by the way. Letting me tag along and all."

Link didn't look at you, choosing instead to focus on the road ahead. "It's no worries, really. I enjoy the company. I've already figured out how lonely traveling gets, so it's nice to have someone to keep me away from my thoughts for a while." He let out a dry laugh.

"It's gotta be tough-- being destined to save humanity. I'm glad I can help in any way.”

Link finally looked up at you and flashed a wide smile, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. "Hateno is a few more hours. How about we take a break here for lunch?"

You nodded and pulled Taz off of the road into a large patch of grass, watching as Link pulled an axe out of an extra weapon holder on Epona and started going towards a patch of trees a few yards away. Patting Taz's nose, you pulled out a pot and some vegetables you had bought in Kakariko and met Link, starting a fire and placing the food inside to cook. After a while, you were able to pour the soup into two bowls and you began eating.

"I didn't know you knew how to cook." Link hummed, stuffing his face with the veggie cream soup you had made.

"You don't know a lot about me in general," You joked, "but I've known for a while. I guess I've become good since you just finished your second bowl."

"Super good!" Link put his bowl in his lap, seemingly finished, and looked at you. "So tell me about you."

You raised an eyebrow, pausing from your soup. "What?"

"You said I don't know a lot about you, and you're right. So tell me more. I think I have a right to know who I'm traveling with."

You internally cringed, wondering what all you could give away without letting Link know the truth. You know, the truth that you were actually raised by an organization created almost specifically to kill him.

"My mom was Sheikah and my dad was a regular Hylian, so I grew up in Kakariko with my brother and sister. We, uh, got kidnapped and taken away for a while. Eventually, we escaped and I ended up in Gerudo Town and I didn't know where my siblings were. As you know, I found out my little sister is in Hateno. So now I'm here, traveling and looking for them." You shrugged, feigning nonchalance as Link raised an eyebrow.

"You glossed over the kidnapping pretty quickly. That's scary."

"It was, but they kind of just kept us there. No clue why." You looked down at your soup, finding both it and talking about yourself unappetizing. "What about you? Do you remember anything from before?"

Link shook his head. "Nothing. Impa said to go back to her after I've remembered something, but there's nothing so far. I was Princess Zelda's knight, and I apparently failed at defeating Ganon."

"Yeah, no shit." You snorted. "This time will be different, though."

Link glanced at you with a face you couldn't describe. "I hope so." He stood up suddenly, taking the bowl and putting it back in Epona's pouch. "Impa said something about there being someone in Hateno who could help fix my Sheikah Slate. Let's go so we can get there before sundown."

———

"Halt! Who goes there!"

You skidded your horse to a stop, Taz's hooves digging into the wet dirt road beneath you. Link stopped shortly after, eyes wide at the pitchfork being brandished in front of the both of you.”

"Uh, I'm Y/N. That's Link." You backed Taz up a bit, not trusting this random short man outside of the village. "We're travelers."

"Travelers, eh?" The man looked you up and down with a scrutinizing gaze. You felt like shrinking under it. "Hylian?"

"Yes?"

He lowered his pitchfork, but not by much. "General Store is right ahead, same with the Inn. Don't go nowhere else causing trouble in my town. I'm sworn to protect this place with my life."

Link raised an eyebrow at the man. "Thank you, uh,"

"Thadd."

"Right. Thadd." You interrupted, "Could you tell us where to find a girl named—"

"You're askin' the wrong man. I ain't one for giving tours."

"We're not asking for a tour, I just need to find Kimi-"

"If you want a tour, go talk to Seldon right at the boutique. He's real nice."

"I— okay." You resisted rolling your eyes, "Thank you."

You continued forward, sharing a look with Link before finding the boutique and a smiling man out front. He waves you both over, "Hello there! My name is Seldon, care for a tour of our wonderful town?"

"Uh- we're just looking for one thing." You replied, feeling a little bad to deny his offer.

"Wh- so no tour?" Seldon sighed loudly, his shoulders dropping in disappointment. "What can I point you to?"

"Do you know where a little girl named Kimi lives?"

Seldon raised an eyebrow. "Kimi? She's too young to be having random visitors without her parents knowledge—"

"I'm her sister. Before she came here. She somehow found me and I just want to see her." You pleaded.

Seldon seemed to think for a second, then sighed. "Alright, but if it turns out you're lying Thadd's gonna have at you both."

Without waiting for a reply, Seldon turned his back to you both and walked up the main road of Hateno towards a small cluster of houses near the top. After leading you a few doors down, he stopped at one with a bright red door and gave it a knock, only stepping back once it opened to reveal a woman a bit older than you.

"Can I help you?"

"Uh yes," Your heart was pounding, "A little bit ago, I started getting letters from my little sister, who you took in—“

"Y/N? Is that you?"

A meek voice came from behind the lady, and then out peeked a small head of hair. Suddenly, the girl grinned widely and pushed past the woman, running to you with her arms wide. "Y/N!"

You smiled as well and crouched down, engulfing her in a tight hug, fighting to keep tears back.

"Kimi..." You pulled back and held her shoulders, "You've gotten so big!"

Kimi giggled and fiddled with the edge of her dress before gasping and turning to the older woman. "Mom! This is my big sister, Y/N! She finally came!"

"That's wonderful." The woman smiled. "I'm Ameil, and my husband— who'll be out in a sec— is Laslow! Kimi has said so much about you. Come in!"

You smiled at Ameil and stood to walk in when your wrist was grabbed by a gloved hand. You turned back to the owner— Link— and raised an eyebrow.

"That research lab up there on the hill— Impa said I needed to go there."

"What do you want me to do about that?"

Link snorted, "Nothing. I want you to catch up with your sister, so I'm going to head up there and see who I can talk to about fixing my Sheikah Slate. I'll be back soon."

"Oh, okay." You smiled at him, "Be careful, it looks like it's going to rain soon. I don't want you getting sick."

"Yes ma'am." Link fake-saluted and turned away, heading towards the research lab.

You, on the other hand, followed Kimi and Ameil inside. Sitting in one of the living room couches was who you assumed was Laslow. Ameil joined him on the couch while you and Kimi sat on one across from them.

Ameil continued to smile— it was getting a little strange at this point, but you shrugged it off— while Laslow put down his book and paid attention to you.

"So, Y/N, we've heard a lot about you." Laslow began, "But one thing we've never understood is how she came into our care in the first place. One minute Ameil and I are traveling the Taobab Grasslands, next we're picking up a little girl unconscious under a tree and taking her home. How did that come to be?"

Your breath caught in your throat and the world began to spin, but you tried not to show it.

They really went in for a first meeting, didn't they?

"Honestly," You steeled your voice and looked down at Kimi in a silent way of saying 'I will not tell'. "There was an accident. Kimi, our brother, and I were in Gerudo when a sandstorm hit— that Divine Beast is no joke— and we got separated. I couldn't find them, so I went to Gerudo Town and stayed, trying to find them. It took four years for Kimi to finally reach me. How did you find me, by the way?"

At your redirection of the topic, Kimi perked up. "At first, I just asked every traveler who came into Hateno if they knew you! None of them did, but a Rito suggested that I send a letter to every town asking about you and describing you, and if they found you then you would write back! And you did!"

"I did." You laughed, "I told you I'd always be there for you, I keep my word."

Kimi threw her arms around you once again and you felt a shift in the atmosphere. You looked up from your little sister to see Ameil, still sitting in the same spot, still smiling. She folded her hands in her lap and took a deep breath.

"I just think it's rather irresponsible for you to have your younger siblings out in the harsh elements like that in the first place." Ameil shook her head in disapproval. "It's common sense for sandstorms to happen in Gerudo."

You tried not to roll your eyes and reminded yourself that Ameil didn't know the truth— you might have to be the bad guy and take blame that doesn't even exist to save your identities. "We didn't have much of a choice. I can't go into all of it but—"

"But what? What could you have possibly put little Kimi through that required you to trek through potentially deadly weather and risk her life? Do tell."

Ameil was obviously pushing your buttons, trying to reveal things that you were sure she had pushed Kimi about before. "I can't."

Ameil threw her hands in the air. "I am Kimi's mother. I have a right to know what goes on."

You opened your mouth to respond, but Kimi beat you to it.

"Y/N, are you going to look for Hiro next?"

"Yes!" You were relieved, "Have you heard from him?"

Kimi's face dropped. "No, but I want to come with you-"

"Absolutely NOT." Ameil interrupted. "You are not going on some dangerous trip with strangers.”

"But Y/N is my sister. My REAL sister. You're not even my real parents!"

Ameil gasped, and Laslow sat up and practically growled, "Go to your room!"

Kimi stood up and ran to her room, slamming it hard enough to make the house shake. You could only watch as she left, the atmosphere getting even more uncomfortable in her absence. You didn't want to look back at Ameil and Laslow, but when you did Ameil was already looking at you with a look you couldn't recognize.

"You do see where we're coming from, right?" She asked gently, as if you were some toddler who needed talking down to. "Our sweet Kimi is our pride and joy. We can't possibly let her go back into the hands of the person who lost her. Who knows, she could go missing a second time. We don't quite see you as a responsible big sister. After all, why did it take so long for you to come find her?"

Condescending. That was the look.

At Ameil's words, you realized her feelings towards you. Ameil hated you. She looked down on you— blamed you for "abandoning" Kimi. But she doesn't know the truth.

How you risked your life for your siblings.

How you turned and faced the Yiga Clan head-on to give them enough time to escape and survive, even if you didn't.

How you fed them, defended them, took care of them while you were all imprisoned in the desert, working every day to get stronger and stronger to one day escape and create a better life for Hiro and Kimi.

You stood up and walked to the door, ignoring Ameil's fake protests and questions about why you were leaving, and slammed the door hard enough to shake the house once more. Tears blurred your vision as you walked down path, heading nowhere in particular except away from that house, and in your rush you accidentally bumped into a body.

"Goddess," You wiped your face, "I'm sorry-“

"Y/N, what happened?"

Link's voice sent a wave of comfort over you, and his hands gripping your shoulders gave you enough stability to collapse, tears streaming down your face more as your knees hit the ground.

Link fell to his own knees in front of you, quickly pressing you into his chest and gently shushing you, waiting until your sobs ceased before talking.

"What happened?"

"They-" Deep breath. "They blamed m-me for Kimi going missing. And my brother. And-and they said I wasn't a good sister, and I know that I'm not— who leaves their siblings for four years? I couldn't help it—"

You started to cry again, coughing out your words and wheezing in breaths in between. Your hands trembled, yet you couldn't stop it. Eventually it spread to the rest of your body, shaking like a leaf in an emotional storm. It was hard to focus on one thing when everything crowded in your vision and overwhelmed your senses.

Breathe in. You couldn't.

Breathe out. No.

In. Please.

Out. You can't.

Was this it? Was this the end? Just like that?—

"Y/N!"

Link.

He's still holding you.

His hand is laid atop your head, rubbing soothing circles into your hair. Your face is in the crook of his neck, finally able to breathe. His smell was comforting. His other arm wrapped itself around your torso, holding you close to his chest. When did he pull you onto his lap?

"It's okay. You're okay. Is Kimi upset with you?"

"No," Words struggled to escape, "Just her parents."

"Then who cares? You still have your sister. She still loves you."

You stayed quiet for a second, contemplating. Link was right— you still had Kimi. Ameil and Laslow were the issue. You just had to somehow prove that you were responsible enough to be around Kimi again. But how?

Find Hiro. Reunite your family.

Your muscles unclenched, and you slouched into Link's warmth a bit more. In your thoughts, he had begun to rock you gently and laid his cheek upon your head.

"Yeah." You yawned.

"C'mon, silly." Link shifted and stood you both up. "Let's go to the inn and rest, then. We'll figure out the next step tomorrow when we're fully rested."

"Right."

[separatist-apologist]

Lying In Between The Memories

You could call it paradise but it looks just like hell to me

Summary: Following the blood rite, Gwyneth Berdara can't shake the memories of a life long-gone.

The shadowsinger can't seem to move on after five centuries of loving the same woman.

Together, they'll have to carve a new path forward.

Read on AO3 | Chapter 1

It wasn’t every day the High Lord walked into the library. When Gwyn saw him from behind the stacks, she thought she must have hallucinated him. She wasn’t the only one—everyone stopped what they were doing to look at him, straight backed and elegant, though somehow casual. No crown, no cape, no trailing starlight to follow in his wake. Just the High Lord in a black and silver tunic and an easy smile on his face.

Gwyn didn’t hear what he asked for, ears buzzing with surprise. Clotho’s eyes found her across the room, nodding toward the High Lord.

“Me?” she whispered because surely not. Merril, perhaps. That made more sense. He’d come to talk with Merril and Gwyn was the person to take him to her. She stood utterly still as he made his way toward her, hunching ever so slightly as he approached. Cassian did the same thing, trying to make himself smaller so he seemed less imposing.

No one was scared of the High Lord, though. Awed, perhaps, but unlike Cassian and Azriel who looked like warriors, the High Lord merely looked like a slick courtier. No wings, no magic. Just a male who’d given them a home, a job, and a purpose. His protection when he could manage it and his vengeance when he could not.

Don’t think about Hybern, don’t think about Hybern—

“Gwyneth Berdara, correct?” Rhysand asked, his voice smoother than velvet. Gwyn blinked.

“Yes,” she whispered, balling her blue dress at her side.

“Can I buy you lunch?” he asked with an easy smile.

“Me?’ she squeaked, pinching herself subtly just to be sure this wasn’t all a very strange, very real dream.

“Yes, you,” Rhysand replied, his violet eyes pinned wholly on her. “We could go upstairs, if you like? Or into Velaris, if you’re agreeable.”

Choices. Gwyn liked that he was offering her a choice without any emphasis on his own preference. She couldn’t tell which he liked better, which she supposed was the point. No matter what she said, Rhysand would be delighted.

“Um,” she swallowed, thinking privacy might be best depending on what it was he was after. “Upstairs is good.”

“Lead the way,” he offered, gesturing toward the stairs. Nesta would be around somewhere, too. Gwyn hadn’t seen her in the library yet, at any rate, which was promising. Gwyn did as Rhysand asked, turning carefully toward the entrance of the library. Every eye was pinned to her, their curiosity burning against her spine. It would be all anyone wanted to speak about later and Gwyn wasn’t certain she wanted to be the center of their attention. 

Rhysand paced behind her, agile as a cat and seemingly unaware of the attention that followed him. Perhaps he was used to it, given he was the High Lord. Gwyn could imagine people were always staring at him. What was that like? 

Awful, she decided. 

That was why he was High Lord and she wasn’t. He could handle that attention while Gwyn decidedly could not. She liked being alone far too much and would have shriveled into dust if people were always looking at her like some kind of god. 

Gwyn led Rhysand up the stairs, turning when they reached the House itself, rather than continuing the trek up to the roof like she so always did. A pang of guilt flooded her when she remembered Emerie’s reproachful words. She had been avoiding them, evidenced by the fact that Gwyn couldn’t remember the last time she’d come to visit Nesta.

She opened the door to Cassian, dressed not in his usual training clothes but in a rather nice pair of black pants and well-tailored blue and silver tunic. He’d pulled half his shoulder length hair from his face and had shaved his typically stubbled face down to the skin.

Behind her, Rhysand chuckled.

“Big plans?”

“Shut it,” Cassian snapped, stepping out of the way so Gwyn could pass. “House is all yours.”

“Thanks,” Rhysand replied, smiling widely. Gwyn waited until Cassian vanished behind him, trailing the scent of cedar and pine in his wake. 

“He’s taking Nesta to the cabin,” Rhysand told Gwyn conspiratorially. She could read the subtext well enough, though she kept it to herself. It was strange enough to see the High Lord talking to her like she was a friend, let alone making a little joke at Cassian’s expense. 

She led Rhysand through the moonstone halls of the home that belonged to him, another thing that felt supremely weird. If it bothered him, he gave no indication of it. 

Rhysand dropped into a chair at the table, foregoing the head so he could seat himself across from her. He was strange—nothing like he ought to be. With a wave of his hand, Rhysand shortened the table so it would be easier to talk.

“Wine?” he asked, that tattooed hand still in the air.

“Um,” she began, wishing he’d just tell her what he wanted. “Sure.”

Another wave brought roasted chicken and bread rolls, a decanter of wine, and steaming, richly spiced vegetables. Rhysand poured two glasses, gesturing for her to help herself. 

Gwyn did, trying—and failing—to seem unbothered. Barely tasting that first bite, Gwyn waited for him to just say what he wanted. Had she done something? Was she being reprimanded, then? There was nothing she could think of, though she had been with his cousin the night before and like she always did, Gwyn had failed the obstacle course at the first row of enchanted warriors. Had Morrigan told him and he’d guessed the problem?

“So,” Rhysand began, unaware of her rising panic. “I have a job for you, if you’re interested.”

Gwyn’s fork clattered to the table, slipping from her nervous fingers. “A job?”

He smothered a smile. “Yes. Cassian suggested you might be a good fit for something I need.”

Gwyn couldn’t imagine being the first choice for any job. Not when Rhysand’s High Lady and cousin both seemed so capable. 

“Oh.”

Her inability to muster up any enthusiasm didn’t deter him. “You wouldn’t be alone. Azriel will be with you.”

Oh. What did he think of this job? Gwyn was tempted to ask and didn’t think she could stand to see that smile fade from the High Lord’s face as he assured her Azriel agreed with Cassian. Gwyn knew he hadn’t, and that was why the High Lord had come. Azriel had told Rhysand to break the news and Cassian had decided to slink off rather than get roped in. Did Nesta know, too? 

“What is the job?”

“An exchange of information,” Rhysand said slickly. “We’re building a relationship with Montessere. They’re curious about our history and some of our magic, and we’re curious about their history and their magic.”

“Why does Azriel need to be there for that?” she asked before thinking better of it. The High Lord’s gaze sharpened, his fork hovering between his plate and his mouth. 

“Would you believe me if I said he was there for your safety?”

“No,” she replied, deciding to just be honest. 

“Smart.” Rhysand took a bite, his expression thoughtful. Light bounced off his inky hair, gobbled up as though it couldn’t stand to touch him. “He has his own job.”

One the High Lord wasn’t willing to share. But Gwyn wasn’t entirely stupid and judging by the sly smile on his face, he knew it, too.

“So I’m a distraction.”

“I want whatever information you can get,” he replied, not bothering to deny her words. “And you may share things about Prythian within reason.”

“Will you provide me a list of what I can and cannot share?” she questioned, unsure if she’d accept the job. Leaving for months to the continent was almost an intolerable thought. Going with Azriel, who she could barely look at—who rarely spoke and wasn’t exactly what she’d call a friend? That seemed worse. She’d be alone, without her friends or the comfort of her routine.

“Of course,” Rhysand replied through another mouthful of food. “I’ll provide anything you need. And of course you’ll be compensated.”

As if she was concerned about that. “Can I think about it?” she asked him, her appetite gone beneath the realization that the High Lord had come to her, and she didn’t want to disappoint him. 

And she didn’t want to leave.

“You can,” Rhysand agreed, dabbing the corners of his mouth with a napkin she hadn’t seen him conjure. “It will take me some time to arrange it, so think it over. Talk with Nesta about it when she returns. I’m sure she’ll have thoughts.”

Nesta would tell Gwyn to do it, though. Of that, Gwyn had no doubt though it was clear Rhysand didn’t think so. Nesta would see it as a grand opportunity for adventure, to test out everything they’d been training for. She wasn’t even wrong—it was a chance to expand the knowledge of her court and the home she loved.

And it would be an adventure. Just…maybe not the kind she needed. And if she needed it, she didn’t think she wanted it. “It’s just…” 

Rhysand’s eyes softened as Gwyn tried to force the words from her throat.

“I’ve never left,” she finally concluded. “And my sister is here.” “We’ll keep her safe,” Rhysand told her, stretching his tattooed hand across the table. Tentatively, Gwyn accepted, surprised by the warmth of his skin. “And you, if you’d let us.”

“I’ll think about it,” she whispered, swallowing hard. Rhysand released her hand, reclining in his chair like this was a completely normal afternoon to him. Maybe it was. Maybe being High Lord included roaming his territory for people who could complete little jobs for him. 

“Let me know,” Rhysand said, rising from his chair with all the grace she’d expect from him. “Come by if you’re feeling up to it. My mate would love to meet you in person.”

The Feyre Archeron. Gwyn watched the High Lord smother a smile as though he’d guessed her thoughts. She didn’t think she had the nerve to meet the Cursebreaker in person. The High Lord was enough, at least for now. Gwyn nodded, heart thudding in her chest loud enough there was no way he couldn’t hear it. 

Assuming, of course, the stench of her fear wasn’t overwhelming him. The High Lord was too polite to ever say so and Gwyn too cowardly to ever admit what was frightening her. He didn’t seem like he’d ever been scared a day in his life.

Of course, if someone had put a sword to his sister's neck, he probably would have wiped them off the face of the map with a flick of his finger. Rhysand wouldn’t have been helpless, frozen with fear. 

Rhysand offered her a soft smile, his eyes filled with the all-too familiar pity. Gwyn flinched without meaning to. She hated that her past was so plain, a mark on her face for everyone to read. 

“I look forward to talking again,” he told her before sweeping out of the room in a trail of shadow and star-flecked night. Gwyn remained, practically plastered to her chair.

Drowning in indiscretion.

AZRIEL:

“I heard a rumor about you,” Feyre began, appearing seemingly from thin air. Azriel didn’t jump, though his High Lady had startled him. Looping her arm through his, Feyre adjusted the cloth bag of painting supplies on her shoulder until Azriel took them from her. There was a drying smudge of blue on her freckled cheek, a near match for those bright eyes of hers.

Feyre was happy, all but glowing beneath the gloomy afternoon sky. 

“Oh?” he finally asked when it was clear Feyre wasn’t going to tell him the rumor until he responded. 

“Were you out last night? With a female?”

Internally, Azriel groaned. Fucking Mor, he thought affectionately, trying—and failing—to be angry with her loose lips. Of course she’d skip right into breakfast that morning and tell her cousin and best friend his little escapades. 

“Was I?” he replied, suppressing a smile.

“Multiple, was the way I heard it. In the alley, and then a bathroom…and was there someone thrown over your shoulder?”

“No,” he replied, the thought rather amusing. “None of that happened.”

“Of course not,” Feyre teased, poking him in the rib. “But I did hear you slunk out with someone. Who was she?”

Azriel had no idea. He hadn’t asked for a name and she hadn’t provided one. That was how he preferred it, if he was honest. The point was the release, not to find someone he wanted to marry. Of course Feyre would want him to—it would make her family nice and tidy, and if there was one thing he knew about Feyre, it was her love of happy endings. And she’d never be satisfied until he was settled, too.

Even if he had a wife—and Azriel had no idea what he’d do with one—he doubted he’d ever feel settled. 

“No one,” he replied, bumping her gently with his shoulder. “Don’t concern yourself with my comings and goings.”

“Why shouldn’t I? We’re family, aren’t we?”

Azriel’s stomach went tight at the thought. He, Rhys, and Cassian were family…but even then, he often felt on the outside. Cassian and Rhys had been friends first and their friendship had always been easy and effortless. Azriel hadn’t known how to make friends back then, and sometimes now he still wondered what it was they even liked about him.

Sometimes, though he’d never admit it to his High Lady, Azriel could still hear Rhys’s fathers voice in his head, talking to him mind to mind as he’d so often done. Azriel hadn’t been allowed shields back then, not like Rhys so casually allowed now. And Azriel had never dared to tell Rhys the extent of what had gone on with his father.

Shadowsingers are valuable. My son has been hiding you…a weapon to use against me.

Azriel had vowed back then to be indispensable to the High Lord as a matter of survival. And when he’d died and Rhys ascended, he didn’t know how to stop. He merely made himself whatever Rhys needed him to be, terrified he’d wake up one day and realize Azriel wasn’t the sort of friend he wanted in the first place.

“Az?” Feyre waved her hand in front of his face. Or, she tried to. Feyre was too small to reach him, though he certainly enjoyed watching her jump up and try. All she succeeded in doing was smacking him on the cheek. 

Red faced, she gasped, “I’m sorry.”

“Unforgivable,” he replied flatly, letting her sweat it for a moment. “I’m telling your mate.”

Feyre relaxed. “I heard you’re going to Montessere,” she said, angling her jaw to look at him. No one paid them any mind as they strolled arm and arm down the street. It was a common enough occurrence, though Azriel would never get over the way people treated him.

Like a hero. A warrior god, someone they respected, that they paid deference to. It was clear, from the way Feyre angled away from those who bowed as she passed, that she felt the same. Azriel knew enough about Feyre’s humble beginnings, told to him mostly by Rhysand and Cassian. He’d never pry.

But sometimes he felt a kinship between himself and his High Lady, who only ever wanted peace and security. She, too, had made herself into a weapon, and had martyred herself upon that altar again and again.

Now she had it. Azriel would have died if it meant Feyre wore that effortless, easy smile. They all would have. She’d given them something they hadn’t had for decades—hope. Even Azriel felt it, was grateful in a way he couldn’t put into words. 

“As soon as Rhys works it out,” Azriel agreed, relaxing when they turned for the river. “Shouldn’t take too long.”

“Are you excited?”

That wasn’t the word he’d use, though he understood what Feyre meant. Are you scared? But if she asked him like that, he’d be honor bound to assure her nothing scared him. Azriel scanned the horizon, well-aware there were no threats hurtling toward them. Only the River House, glittering like a jewel even under an overcast sky. 

“Sure.”

“With a priestess?” she hedged, dancing around what she really wanted to ask. Azriel swallowed a sigh. He didn’t believe for a moment that Gwyn had agreed. At most, she’d told Rhys she’d think about it but Azriel knew full well he was going alone. “Or Lucien?”

He couldn’t help the growl. Feyre jabbed him with her elbow, her expression reproachful. “Don’t be like that.”

“Like what?” he asked, well aware Feyre didn’t like dissent in her ranks. For better or worse, they were all stuck with Lucien until Elain made a decision. Which was worse, he wondered? Lucien at every holiday or knowing one of the Archeron sisters would reject a mate? Both equally made his skin crawl.

Feyre only sighed with exasperation. He was grateful when she changed the subject to her shop, telling him of the children who’d come that day and how good they were getting at drawing little faces. Azriel liked these stories. The world was slowly reacclimating after the war. When he was away, bored or hurt or miserable, he’d think of these things.

Children, safe enough to learn to paint. His High Lady smiling as she made her way back to her own son who was just learning to wobble on two legs and would be flying before they could stop him. His friends, casual at dinner, gossiping about his love life.

It made the hard times seem worth it. 

Azriel left Feyre outside the River House, making some vague, generic excuse that Feyre almost certainly didn’t believe. She let him lie, though, and that was enough. Azriel took the sky, reveling in the wind on his wings, ruffling his hair as he landed not on the roof, but the outdoor exterior hall overlooking the mountains. Cold air faded in whatever magic kept the house running, and the smell of chicken beckoned him into the dining room.

He couldn’t remember the last actual meal he’d had. Making his way down the hall, he realized he’d have the house to himself for the next several days. Cassian had taken Nesta to the cabin which they were all grateful for, though Azriel didn’t relish returning anytime soon. Cassian was messy.

And loud.

Nesta wasn’t any better, though she was at least polite about it. 

Azriel rounded the corner, surprised to see Gwyn staring toward the wall of windows, her own food untouched on her plate. She held a fork between her fingers while coppery-brown hair spilled over shoulders clad in that distinct shade of priestess blue. Gwyn, like so many of the priestesses who came to training, weren’t anything like the ones in other temples. He often wondered what made them so different from the ones like Ianthe and her ilk.

Gwyn lacked their ambition, he supposed. 

She startled when he stepped in fully, intentionally making his steps heavy so she’d realize he was around. He would have done it sooner had he realized she was here. Waving a hand, he said,

“Stay,” when she started to rise.

“Did you know?” she accused, always ready for a fight. He felt his temper flare, though he settled it in favor of sitting at the shortened table.

“Yes.”

There was no point lying to her. Not if she might be working with him—he’d need her to trust him, just as he’d need to be able to trust her, too. He didn’t like the notion of relying on another person. 

Azriel worked solo for a reason. No one could let him down or disappoint him if he was on his own. 

“Thanks for warning me,” she grumbled, pushing out of her chair like a petulant child. Maybe Rhys was right—maybe Vanserra was the better choice. They would at least ignore each other like gentlemen, speaking only when it was absolutely required. 

“I was against it,” Azriel informed her, grateful when a plate of food materialized before him. Gwyn’s outrage vanished as he closed his eyes and took a deep gulp of wine. 

“Against me going?” she asked, and right then, Azriel realized his mistake. The one thing he’d always liked about Gwyn was that competitive streak of hers. It was almost cruel at times, though she seemed better at reigning it in before anyone got hurt. He recognized it, though, because his ran just as hot, was just as vicious. 

If he’d thought his words through, he would have told her she would be a perfect fit and he was excited for her to join him. And Gwyn, contrary by nature, would have given herself permission not to go because he wanted her to.

But now she knew he didn’t think she was cut out for it. And whatever doubts she had, of which Azriel was certain she harbored, were all being shoved to the side in favor of proving him wrong. 

Fuck me.

He sighed, scrambling silently to fix his mistake. “I work better alone,” he tried to explain. But the damage was done. Those teal eyes of hers were narrowed, nostrils flared in indignation.

“What do you know about research?” she demanded, crossing her arms over her chest.

“What do you know about torture?” he replied. Gwyn didn’t flinch the way most people did, didn’t shrink back wide-eyed and scared. He was trying to convince her not to go and thought reminding her of his true title, torture master for the Night Court, might dissuade her. Unbidden, he thought of Elain Archeron and how her spine had curved inward when Feyre had so flippantly made a joke about his methods over breakfast one morning. She'd been casual, nonchalant even, though Azriel had once seen the discomfort in his High Lady's eyes, too. Only Nesta regarded him without any fear. 

Nesta, and now Gwyn. 

“I could figure it out from a book,” she shot back. “Can you even read?”

“Why would I need to learn to read when I’m so good with a weapon?” he replied evenly. It was tempting to pull his dagger out and twirl it about, and Gwyn was likely to challenge him to a duel—one she’d lose—in the middle of lunch. Not that it would frighten her off. Everyone was a afraid of something. Usually that something was him. But for Gwyn, the notion that he might enjoy torturing to the point it consumed all other activities he might engage in, seemed to roll off her shoulders. 

“You can’t do this job without me.”

Agree with her, dumbass.

“I could do it far easier and faster without you,” he replied, his temper getting the best of him. Azriel never could resist a challenge. 

“No you can’t,” she said, leaning back in her chair. There was no satisfaction in her expression, though. Gwyn’s doubt was a palpable thing, recognizable to Azriel who was, too often, filled with nothing but doubt. He was the wrong male to reassure her. If she wanted that, she’d have to wait for Cassian to return. 

Sighing, he said, “Gwyn—”

“Shove it,” she snapped, rising from her chair. Azriel watched her go, likely marching straight down to Rhys to tell him she’d gladly take the mission. And in truth, she’d probably be just fine. He’d lock her up in the library while he got what he needed and whisk her away before she caused any mischief. In and out in a month, tops. Rhys would be satisfied, Gwyn would go back to the library and training with Nesta and Azriel would continue on.

Just as he always had.

[casspurrjoybell-24]

The Alpha's Beta - Chapter 20 - Part 2

BOOK ONE: The Alpha's Trilogy

*Warning Adult Content*

I'm Still Your Brother - Part 2

Alpha Rodrick Claymore

"This is dumb," Jeremy grumbled beside me, his black hair sticking to his face with sweat.

I looked no better I presumed.

Our outfits clung to us, the light brown khakis pants sticking to our legs.

Jeremy had rid of his light blue button down shirt a few miles back and wore only the suspenders.

I, on the other hand, just undid my white shirt and let the breeze catch in the fabric.   

"It's not that bad. We could use the walk," I said casually.

I let my eyes wander over his form.

The muscles on his tanned stomach, moving with each step.

His black eyes, not caching his best friend, subtly checking him out.

Though the smirk on his face, told me he knew.

I didn't feel awkward about openly staring at him.

Jere and I used to mess around.

That was until he met Julie and we had to stop.

Much to my dismay.   

"This is no walk. This is a way to torture us for not staying on guard like we were suppose to."

"Eh, that's not my fault."   

"Yes it is. You were the one that pulled me from post, to go to Ian's dumb party. I shouldn't even be going to parties. I have a pregnant mate at home She needs me, now."  

"What she needs is a good..."   

"Don't you dare say it, Rick."   

I rolled my eyes at him and we continued our walk.

One hour down... one hour to go. I was relishing for the day the pack agreed on using those new auto-carriages.

No horse required, what a dream.   

"I'm not doing this on the way back. I'm shifting to my wolf. I can't do this trek again," Jeremy huffed, as he wiped sweat off of his forehead.  

"We'll bind our clothes to our ankles. Take a dip in the pond near by and shift until we reach No Man's Land. We'll shift back and be dry before anyone is the wiser."   

Jeremy chuckled patting a hand on my back.

"Very smart, my friend. This is why you're going to be the Alpha."  

I smiled, a twinge of pride finding itself in my chest.

I wiped a strand of my black hair from my face before I focused myself back on the walk ahead.

We finally made it to the Olivier's store.

They had there own shop in the town, even though they are wolves from the pack.

Mr. Olivier says it's a nice way to stay level headed but I'm pretty sure he's nuts so I really don't listen to half the things he says.  

"I don't know. Julie said she was having some pain. She was stressing out this morning. She's only three months but its her first pregnancy so we don't know the norm yet. She wants a pack of kids hey. Like a lot. I'm going to be changing diapers tell I'm in my hundreds," Jeremy ranted on.

I just nodded my head and looked at the spices on the shelf.

Not really looking at what I was seeing, I could feel a pull from behind me.

Like I needed to turn around but before I could I heard a crash and glass breaking.   

I turned to face the most beautiful person I had ever seen in my life.   

Brown eyes that held the fresh forest floor, waiting for flowers to be planted, blond hair that shined so brightly.   

I kneeled down, helping them collect the large shards of glass from the floor and tossed them in the nearby trash can.   

"I am so sorry," a voice like an angel too.

Moon Goddess, how could one get so lucky.   

I smiled, trying to contain it to a normal size and not one that you would see on a crazy witch.

"It's fine. I'm Rodrick but everyone just calls me Rick," I said, holding out my hand.

"Marshall," he replied.

*********

'The Moon Goddess fixed me with the perfect mate. We spent the day with Marshall after that.

Apparently his pack was roaming the area, looking for a place to stay. I wished I could assure him he could stay with us but there was a slight problem with that.

Marshall is a shifter and nothing good could come from that knowledge.'  

Rodrick

[landlordrecords]

FAVOURITE FILMS & TV

As previously said here, I generally concentrate so hard on music that film and TV gets left to the side a bit - I chase down anything I'm desperate to see, but otherwise just watch a variety of stuff with the missus and then have an occasional splurge. With the pandemic coinciding with the missus being on just about every streaming platform known to man, though, I have had an enormous catch-up in the last few years...not that that is necessarily much reflected in these lists, which are very honest and not very original lists of favourites rather than truly 'best' films & TV programmes, compiled quickly, based largely on what I've tagged up on the excellent Justwatch in the past few months. I also don't rewatch stuff very often, so some of these I saw once, many years ago...but that is something I will hopefully put right in the months ahead. Having said all that, I do now, finally, in my mid-forties, feel able to say that I've seen a good spread of stuff - plenty of classics yet to see (many of the Hitchcock, Kubrick, Peckinpah, Bergman ones etc), but many, many arthouse classics etc caught up with in the last few years...although probably not reflected below!!

FAVOURITE FILMS

The Elephant Man (have finally seen all the Lynch now, but this does remain my favourite. Ebert said this was overly sentimental or something - I thought he normally went for all that sort of thing! Bible reading scene really gets me)

The Rocky Horror Picture Show (something of a throwback to teen years. I think I watched it about six times back then, and not now for ages, although I've hammered the soundtrack over the years. Not into the theatrical joining-in thing, but a real blast of a musical)

West Side Story (original, although I enjoyed the new one as well. Stellar)

Citizen Kane (this is one I really need to rewatch, but pretty blown away when I saw it decades ago)

Casablanca (onto three viewings now. As classic as they say)

The Conversation (another I need to rewatch. Remarkable sound)

The Godfather 1 & 2 (I only saw these in company years ago, so definitely need a rewatch, but obviously excellent)

GoodFellas (plenty of great Scorsese ones, but this remains my favourite)

Star Wars (sorta the first one, but also the whole lot - we are a couple of things behind now, they've rinsed it so much in recent times, but just ripsnorting nonsense)

The Night of the Hunter (another one that could really do with a rewatch)

Special mention: The Story of Film (Mark Cousins docs - some laughable elements to his narration and inserts, but the sheer breadth and insight is astonishing).

FAVOURITE TV

Fawlty Towers (impeccable, precise, just the right amount)

The Prisoner (finally saw this recently, well worth the wait, some really mindbending episodes and a tremendously well thought out situation)

Star Trek (the original, and to some extent the Next Gen, which I enjoyed a lot at the time but can't imagine stands up that well now. Too soap operay after that. This is a family thing really, major fave with my Dad - not a bad thing to be brought up on, philosophical throughout)

The Wire (maybe dipped a little towards the end, but as good as people say)

The Up series (7 Up etc - I think I was too young to be interested, then away from home without a telly, so it took ages before I came across this properly. Remarkable undertaking, filming a group of people as children and then every seven years into old age. Very moving - and funny)

Twin Peaks (originals and new, peaking I suppose on that extraordinary atomic age episode. Didn't pick up on how much it was modelled after melodramatic soaps til I finally watched em all when the new one came out - the music in particular suits that, yet also subtly helps move it somewhere else entirely)

102 Minutes That Changed America (I was struggling to remember what this was called but I'm pretty certain this is the one - minute by minute documentary about September 11th, made out of home movie footage etc. Incredible film. That Falling Man one also very very good, but I think got a cinema release)

David Attenborough (I haven't by any means seen all of his, and have largely ignored him between living at home as a child and recently, when you can get an extraordinary amount of it via the iPlayer, but what a body of work - someone who will really be able to say he has made an impact at the end of his life)

Boardwalk Empire (slightly underrated maybe, evocative, brutal, 20s Atlantic City-set gangster series, with superb ensemble cast)

The Sopranos (was about 20 years late on this, but pretty undeniable)

[glazelilyy]

couple costumes! (halloween special)

includes: diluc, kaeya, albedo, childe, zhongli, xiao, kazuha, scaramouche, dainsleif, and thoma!

warnings: blood mention, spoilers for diluc's backstory, spoilers for the liyue archon quest, not proofread aaaa

a/n: happy halloween to the lovelies that celebrate it!! i've been thinking about genshin men and their halloween costumes since early may so writing this was super fun for me! i hope you all enjoy, and stay safe if you're going trick or treating!! <3 (also yes this was influenced by the official halloween art for genshin mwahahaha)

diluc—☆

a vampire + a nurse!

the classic combo!

he makes an elegant vampire, and you make a cute nurse!

diluc can and will give you his cape if you get cold at any point during the night (which just makes him look like he's wearing his every day clothes if not for the fake sharpened teeth in his mouth)

the kids that come up to your front door for candy often asked if diluc actually drank blood

and though diluc was never the type to be cheeky, he'd stroll pass the front door with a glass of wine in his hands and take a sip

(the faces of the kids are priceless and it's definitely worth your light scolding)

(reluctantly) lets you put a smidge of fake blood near his bottom lip

shyly compliments your costume subtly every 10 minutes (this boy is too scared to admit how cute you look aaaaaa)

when all the candy had been handed out, expect for his arms to never leave your body

he'll wordlessly toy with the nurse's cap on your head and wrap your glove-covered hands in his own

this vampire wants cuddles >:)

"it is a nurse's job to soothe one's ailments, isn't it? then i must ask for your company a little longer, darling."

kaeya—☆

a pirate captain + a merperson!

another classic combo!

whenever halloween rolls around, kaeya immediately jumps on being a pirate

which, to most of the mondstatian children, is no big difference since they already consider him to be a pirate captain!

he still dons his signature eye patch, only with a broad tricorne white pirate's hat decorated with a periwinkle and icy blue feather on his head, and a thick, heavy fur-trimmed white coat on his shoulders

out of suspicion, you asked him if the coat belonged to diluc since you had never seen it in your closet (and let's just say that both you and kaeya are masters of keeping secrets)

kaeya likes to gather all the mondstat orphans and lead them on a mini parade throughout town to gather candy!

it's quite cute and never fails to leave you fussing over how much of a sweetheart he is

he's got a kid on his shoulders, pretending his head is a ship's wheel, and one hand holding hoisting a sleeping child while the other is interlaced with your glitter-covered fingers

the kids like to point out how much he's always staring at you: clothed in glittery, aquamarine fabric with flowing sleeves to mimic that of a merperson (he'll laugh it off but his ears will turn beet red hehehehehe)

by the time all the children are returned home safely, he sheds himself of his pirate's coat and melts in your arms, happy to be home and safe

"won't you sing me a siren's song, dove? though i suppose i'm in no need of it; i'd jump ship for you any day."

albedo—☆

a librarian + a witch!

when lisa first saw you two, least to say she was quite amused :)

but moving onwards, nothing much has changed about albedo only that he had put on his reading glasses and tugged a sweater vest over his white dress shirt

(you had to admit, he did fit the stereotype of a librarian in that outfit far too well)

you had asked mona to borrow her hat and complimented the look with your own homemade clothes that really brought out the witchy vibe for tonight

the main mission of halloween was to make sure klee, dressed as a ladybug, didn't accidentally wander off too far from the usual trick or treating route, and though you and albedo had to trek what felt like miles to keep up with the little bundle of energy that was klee, it was very much worth it!

you often keep klee occupied while walking through the city by pretending to do "magic" which is really just albedo using his vision and you doing all the fancy hand movements to make it look like you're the one creating geo crystals out of thin air

albedo adores just how sweet you are with klee, even allowing her to study your very well made witch's costume

he's not much for sweets but he'll stay up a bit later with you just to indulge in a bite of chocolate or two :)

"i've never studied a witch before. you may prove to be my greatest feat yet. tell me, what sorts of magic do you employ to make me love you so?"

childe—☆

a werewolf + a hunter!

childe is all over halloween, he loves it!

largely because it means he has an excuse to the tsaritsa to go spend time with his family and you :P

but mainly because he loves trick or treating with his siblings!

he's gone all out: a little headband made entirely by tonia with two little ears on each side, a fluffy tail belt hooked around his waist, and an (albeit) messily drawn on nose and freckles on his face by teucer

when you show up in all your hunter-costumed glory, his little siblings gather in front of their big brother and form a defensive line to guard the fierce hunter from their poor werewolf brother (they only relent when childe reassures them for the 50th time that no, he is not actually a werewolf and no, you are not actually a hunter)

the bulk of your evening is spent hand in hand with him with nostalgic smiles on your faces as you guide childe's siblings door to door and let them fill their bags with goodies

but when you do return home and all the children have gone to bed, expect to have candy eating contests with him from the candy that he collected himself (he somehow always manages to win the "who can hold the most poprocks under their tongue for the longest" somehow and you're quick to pour more down his throat if he teases you for it)

"a hunter, huh? well then, being the prey instead of the predator for once sure sounds enticing. try and keep up though, sunshine. i won't make it easy to catch me."

zhongli—☆

a dragon + a dove!

similar to diluc in that he prefers to stay in on the holidays and hand out candy!

there's no need for him to buy a costume: just stand back and watch as golden horns sprout from his head and a tail thumps wildly against the floor

though you have to remind him to keep the tail movements to a minimum when greeting the children at the door, lest the nearby parents see that it's not actually a costume

he spends majority of the evening happily handing out candy to the liyuen children with a kind smile on his face; he likes handing out candy more than he lets on

also spends majority of the evening studying the intricacies of your dove costume: from the olive branches on your head to the wings crafted of string and yarn on your back, and the flowing white cloth that hung from your skin

best be known that he's complimenting you every 5 seconds aaaaa such a gentleman!!!

he'll set aside a few of your favorite candy types and enjoy the rest of the night overlooking liyue harbor while you share treats by his side

"a dragon and a dove are both capable of soaring through the sky. but only a dove may bring peace wherever they go, and you've brought peace to me, my dearest."

xiao—☆

the grim reaper + a devil!

xiao didn't even know what halloween was until you explained it to him

it takes lots and lots and LOOOOTS of convincing

but you and verr goldett manage to wrangle him into a black, hooded cloak and hand him a prop scythe

he's not even sure what to do at first

that's when you show up in your devil costume and take him by the hand for some candy gathering!

(you do also manage to fluster him, i mean come on! you're such a cute devil he can't help that he's all red in the face and a stuttering mess :P)

after a few rounds of knocking on doors, and receiving candy, he starts to get the hint but still can't see the necessity in it

(but since you're super happy he's here and collecting candy with you, he doesn't bring it up)

he's got a bad, bad sweet tooth and ends up really enjoying the candy he's collected

when he's had enough of stumbling from house to house, he'll teleport you back to the inn and spend the rest of the night sharing candy with your head on his shoulder

"you say these...grim reapers...they ferry souls to the afterlife? hmm...i suppose that is rather fitting- don't go dying now though. remain by my side as long as possible, mortal, even if i am a bringer of death."

kazuha—☆

a bard + a siren!

kazuha much rather prefers to find a quiet place and observe the halloween festivities from above

but with a little persuasion, he's managed to find himself in a bard's outfit with a lyre in hand

and you by his side, dressed in oceanic blues and aquatic greens to give the impression of a siren!

the two of you sit outside the door of your liyuen house, with kazuha gently strumming a festive tune on the lyre while you sing along and hand out candy to all that stop by

there are some older folk who like to come and sit nearby just to listen to kazuha's tender playing or your lovely voice :)

kazuha also finds himself getting along with the children very nicely!! he'll take any requests they might have, whether it's twinkle twinkle or a song he's never heard of (he makes it work, don't worry)

if beidou and her crew stop by, phewwww good luck keeping him from playing sea shanties

he's more than happy to oblige though!

the kids seem to love any songs he plays, and the crew members are happy with free music, sweets, and booze

he's truly grateful for all that he has

"a bard's costume is quite fitting of me, wouldn't you agree? though your lovely voice would contend with even the most hypnotic voices of a true siren, love."

scaramouche—☆

two lil ghosts!

getting scaramouche to dress up for halloween is like pulling teeth

apparently he has no need for "fickle, meaningless, mortal holidays", even WITH free candy

to stop your incessant persuading, he'll do the bare minimum of cutting holes into a sheet and pulling it over his body, hat and all

but you're just happy that he's willing to participate, so you do the same!

two lil ghosties hehe :P

he won't go trick or treating, nor will he hold the bowl while you dish out candy, he'll just stand there with his arms crossed

it'll take a while but your soft palm over his tense knuckles is enough to have him relax slightly and toss candy at the faces of the children who come to your door (you scold him for calling the children "brats" and he pretends to ignore you, but doesn't call them that again)

the low effort costumes often get you made fun of by some of the teenaged kids (and you don't take it to heart because obviously, they're kids)

but scaramouche on the other hand? LIVID! will glare at them through the peepholes of his ghost-sheet costume and tug you by your hip so that your side is pressed up against him before proclaiming "this is the most superior and amazing costume ever, how dare you taunt them for their taste!"

you'll scold him for yelling at teenagers of all people, of course, but part of you is also glad that he's getting into the holiday spirit!

"what? i simply didn't want mere teenagers thinking they could walk all over my lover. now come on, we've run low on candy and i need to cut bigger holes into this goddamn sheet."

dainsleif—☆

a prince + a shooting star!

another member of the "does not know what the heck halloween is" club!

also another member of the "would prefer to stay home and dish out candy" club!

but dain is so sweet, if a bit hesitant to partake in the holiday

when you asked him what he'd like to be, he merely left it up to you and trusted in your taste

so behold: dainsleif the prince! a glittering crown on his head, a fur-trimmed black and navy cape you had made yourself, and glimmering, deep azure brooch to compliment the look

if he already looked like a prince in his every day clothes, he truly embodied royalty in his costume

your costume, however, is one he can't figure out

white and baby yellow cloths hung from your skin, glittery tulle encompassed your body, and on your head laid little miniature stars that dotted themselves over your cheeks as well

"a shooting star," you answered him, and he's left all flustered and red in the face because of how absolutely adorable that idea is aawww

a bit shy and awkward to hand out the candy, but it gets easier with your hand resting on his and your words of encouragement

one of the kids looked like they were having a bad night, so dain may or may not have given them a bit extra (and struck a princely pose when they asked of him to)

he's become fond of the holiday and is already planning on what to be next year for when he hands out candy with you :)

"my love, would it be so crude as to ask if this prince might wish upon you? what's my wish you ask? i believe i'm not supposed to tell."

thoma—☆

maid duo!

oh yes

this is happening

double maids!!!

thoma needs little to no convincing to dress up for halloween, he loves it!

the idea originally started as a joke during one of thoma's housekeeping classes, but it ended up growing on the two of you

so there you both stood: clad in maid dresses complete with the hairband, polished shoes, garter belt on the thigh, and ruffled skirts

"oh my, dear maid (y/n), might i help you with that?"

"but of course, maid thoma!"

you both are insufferable in the best way

as a joke, ayaka rung a bell and called for a "maid" and both of you came running in :P

ayaka and ayato usually stay at the kamisato residence to hand out candy to those who manage to trek that far

so you and thoma much rather prefer going to the smaller villages with carts full of candy and hand them out to the children in person

the kids love hearing the sound of your carts pulling up, filled to the brim with delicious treats and goodies, and you're more than happy to help thoma dish em out

by the end of the night when all the children are satisfied and your carts are empty, thoma steals you away to a hidden grove near the kamisato residence to watch the moon for a moment

and he'll pull out two of the sweets he saved particularly for this moment and revel in your shared bliss :)

"i'm already quite the housekeeper, even without the getup. though i must admit you look ever so adorable in it. i might just have to ask lady ayaka for these outfits to be mandatory uniform if it means i get to see you in it again, hehe!"

date published: october 31st, 2021

[venusiangguk]

gold rush pt. 3 | jjk (m)

>>pairing: jungkook x reader

>>genre: pwp, v little plot, smut, kinda fluffy, college au (kinda), established relationship

>>word count: 9.9k um?

>>warnings: pegging!!!, butt stuff!!!, sexy anal!!!, sub jk, soft dom oc, crying why do i always make everyone cry, fingering (m), strap on, dildos, vibrators, sex toys, sex shop adventures, explicit sex, like so explicit this bitch is basically 10k, mutual masturbation, coming untouched, kisses, aftercare in the form of snacks, titty squeezing, dirty talk, excessive use of pet names, yoongi exists

>>notes: i wasn’t gonna write this bc ur girl does not know the first thing about pegging, but jk sucking the strap came to me in a dream and i had to do it. it was highly requested so i hope u like it! i wrote and poorly edited this whole thing today so im sorry for any mistakes !! 

>>summary: jk wants the strap, and jk gets what he wants !!

pt.1 | pt. 2 | pt. 3

The sun is shining, and there’s just the perfect amount of breeze to cool Jeongguk as sweat runs down his temple. The soccer pitch just got cut, making the ball much easier to control, and therefore much easier to aim at Jimin’s ass. It’s cool-down time, so the team is in groups of three, idly kicking the ball between each other, for the last few minutes of practice. All in all, a great day to talk about getting pegged with his best friends.

Jeongguk glances around the field, making sure the other groups are far enough away from him and his friends before clearing his throat. “So… do you guys like… get pegged?”

When Taehyung passes the ball to Jimin, Jimin completely misses it due to the fact that he is looking at Jeongguk like he is the most pitiful human on the planet. Jeongguk adjusts his shin guard to avoid the scrutiny.

“Gguk… honey… are you dumb?”

Taehyung’s jogging back after retrieving the ball that ran astray. “No, Mini. He’s straight.” He kicks the ball to Jeongguk. “If by ‘pegged’ you mean fucked in the ass by a real dick, then yeah. We do.”

Jeongguk receives the ball with a ‘rainbow’ and juggles it from his thigh to his laces, balancing the ball for a second before kicking it to Jimin. He nods, contemplative. “Nice.”

“Okay ace.” He passes to Taehyung, before throwing Jeongguk a teasing look. “You thinking about taking it up the ass, Gukkie?”

“Perhaps I’m contemplating.” He sniffs nose in the air.

Taehyung laughs. “Got your button milked once and now you wanna take a phallic shaped object? Proud of you.” He places his hand over his heart, like the mere thought of Jeongguk getting railed makes his heart warm.

A whistle blows, and Jeongguk kicks the ball up to his arm, tucking it into the curve of his trim waist. “Why does everyone call it a button? And it hasn’t only been once.” He sounds exasperated and so so tired.

His friends jog to bump shoulders with him as they make their way to the locker rooms. “Hey, jokes aside, I think it’s cool you’re like comfortable enough, or whatever, with __ to explore the things you like.” Taehyung says.

Jeongguk rolls his eyes. “Okay Dad.”

“No seriously!” Jimin insists, holding the locker room door open for them. Fuck the rest of the team. “She seems good for you. Babys you like you need.” Jimin laughs.

Jeongguk’s shirt gets caught on his head as he squawks. “I don’t just like being babied, fuck you.”

“Okay so she also entertains your sadistic side. She’s the full package.”

Jeongguk looks down with a blush. He shrugs his shoulders lightly before bending over to get out of his gear. “She’s pretty cool I guess.”

Taehyung knees him while he’s still bent over making him stumble a bit. “Awe, Jeonggukkie is in love.”

“Shut up.” Jeongguk smacks him in the face with his smelly sock.

“When you gonna do it?” Jimin asks, buttoning his new pants. 

Apparently they aren’t showering today. Jeongguk will just have to stop at his dorm before heading to yours to help you study. That reminds him that you have a test on Friday, but are free this weekend. He just so happens to be free as well. The team they were supposed to play had to forfeit because their coach got caught sleeping with one of the cheerleaders. Sucks, but good for Jeongguk and his little asshole.

“Maybe this weekend.” With their backpacks on, they start the trek back to the dorms. It’s nearing night now, the sun just starting to set in the sky. Jeongguk pulls out his phone to tell you he’s stopping by his place before heading to you. You reply quickly.

baby🥺💘😏🧠🙄👊🏻:

okie

wanna have sex instead of helping me study 

me:

yeah but im not gonna 

just think about how good the sex will be when u get an a 

baby🥺💘😏🧠🙄👊🏻:

🙄

When Jeongguk pockets his phone, Taehyung speaks up.

“You think she’ll be down?”

Jeongguk doesn’t hesitate. “Yeah, probably.”

Ever since the first time you made him cum untouched, butt stuff has been a moderately regular occurrence for you both as a long-term, healthy, pro-ass eating couple. Honestly it was mostly him getting his butt played with, but he supposed it made sense. Like Jimin explained to his once naïve self, it was just biological- or something. Whatever. He wonders if three fingers will be enough to fit a fake dick in his ass. He asks his friends.

“Eh…” Jimin starts, looking up like he’s thinking. “Maybe, but you might wanna try to get to four, maybe five if you're using hers, since she’s tiny.”

Jeongguk’s mouth falls open and he pales. Taehyung notices and laughs.

“Don’t get scared. It’s just better to over-prep than under-prep. And like obviously you work up to it, she’s not just gonna shove her fist or her cock up your ass.”

Her cock. A little tingle settles in Jeongguk’s lower belly at the statement. He’s been thinking about this for a while, looking at porn in his free time. Seeing the way the guys moan on their girls’ strap always gets him hard. Seeing how hard their cocks get when the toy hits them just right. He throbs when he sees the guys cum just from the strap, no hands. Maybe he should fuck you when he gets to your dorm instead of helping you study. His cock is feeling a little plump.

“Alright well… Bye, thanks for being gay and answering my anal questions!”

As he’s pressing the button to his elevator, they lived on opposite sides of the athlete dorm and there were different elevators for each of the wings, Jimin chirps, “Don’t forget to empty your asshole really well, and don’t eat the day of! Also buy extra lube and put a spare blanket down!”

Jeongguk winces. Valuable information indeed, information he mentally pockets, but did he need to yell it in the dorm common room?

“Noted!” He yells back at the elevator dings and opens up. Jeongguk pretends like he doesn’t meet the curious, kind of confused gaze of one of his teammates. He must have walked in while Jimin was yelling and only caught the end of the conversation while waiting for the same elevator. Jeongguk gets in and immediately closes the doors. He can catch the next lift.

~~~

Jeongguk’s got his head in your lap and you’re running your fingers through his long, silky hair. He showered today, so waves of his aromatherapy lavender shampoo are wafting up to you. Sweet boy. He seems sidetracked, occasionally sighing and subtly twisting, but is still more or less purring on your thigh, feet tucked up onto the cushion of the couch. Netflix is on the small tv that was left by the last person who lived there, you’re mac book connected via HDMI. You’re not really paying attention. Mind kind of tired from all the studying you had done this week. Jeongguk fidgets a tiny bit again, wiggling like he’s trying to get comfortable. He huffs a sigh.

“Hey,” You say softly, getting his attention.

His body curves at the waist, causing his t-shirt to bunch up and show off the dip of his hip bone. He looks up at you with wide eyes. He seems surprisingly awake. Must have some busy little bees buzzing around his mind. He makes a little questioning noise.

“You okay? You’re kinda fussy.” You murmur.

He groans. “I-  am just thinking.”

“About?” You drag the word out in a singsong-y manner.

The way Jeongguk’s face flushes is so pretty, you have to stop yourself from cooing. 

He moves himself from your lap and sits facing you. He looks like he's thinking about what to say, or how to say what he’s thinking so hard about. 

Eloquently he states, “I’m horny.”

You glance at his cock. Not quite hard, but a little happy and excited. You chuckle, leaning towards him, giving him a playfully sexy look. “Okay, let’s fuck baby.”

Jeongguk blushes even more, cheeks tinted red, while he leans away from you.

You pout. “What?”

Again he pauses, a small pout on his lips. He seems to be in a soft, needy, difficult mood. You’re probably going to have to pry what he wants to say out of his mouth.

With another uncalled for exasperated huff, Jeongguk rolls his eyes and moves closer to you before catching you by surprise and swinging a leg over your lap. He’s facing you while he straddles your thighs. His arms are looped around your neck, he’s playing with a little bit of your hair, twirling the long length around his fingers. You smile up at him, gently. Your palms squeeze at his narrow hips encouragingly.

“I want to try something new…” He says. He sounds nervous and looks at you the same.

“Mhmm.” You say, fighting a smile. 

“Really bad. Like I want it really bad.” His hips roll, probably unconsciously from the way he closes his eyes to ground himself. 

You peek at his lap, and his cock is bulging, the fabric of his sweatpants doing nothing to help hide it. You bring your hand to it, and massage him through his pants.

He whines and pushes against your palm before a hand comes down and grabs your wrist, stopping the movement. “Quit it, I’m trying to talk.” He’s so petulant and whiny.

You move your hand away and place it back on his hip, giggling a little. “Well spit it out, then.”

He scowls. You reach up and smooth the wrinkle in his brow before trailing it down and cupping his cheek. He softens immediately, melts like butter in your hands. His eyes close and he lets out a soft sigh, body relaxing a little.

He’s whispering, kinda giggling out of embarrassment, when he says, “I want you to fuck me.” He pauses, peeking at you through his lashes. “Like for real.”

Almost instantly a little spark ignites in your belly, and you feel your pussy get that telltale heartbeat. You didn’t want to push Jeongguk into anything, but you’ve been thinking about taking the ‘next step’ with your… ass-plorations for some time. But you figured he would get to the same point on his own, and would come to you when he was ready. Turns out you know him as well as you thought you did.

“Yeah?” You rub your free hand up his side. 

He nods quickly, eagerly. You pinch his cheek lightly, and he retaliates by trying to bite at it. To avoid the attack it finds his way back to his waist.

“When did you want to? Tonight?”

He wiggles impossibly closer to you. Kisses you quick before nodding again. “Yeah. I um. I already like prepped… mostly. I prepped what I could by myself.” He pauses with a cute thinking face. “You will probably have to help me a little. But yeah. I got ready for you just in case.” He nods.

You hum, glancing at the old clock on the wall, another gift from the prior tenant. 11:52 pm. 

“If we hurry, we can make it to a sex shop? They don’t usually close until 2 or 3 in the morning.” You suggest.

Jeongguk bites his lip, smiling excitedly. “Really? Can we?”

You roll your eyes playfully. “Yeah, duh.” You lean up and give him a speedy, but thorough kiss, smiling into it. “Been wanting to peg you for so long.” 

His face scrunches endearingly. “Don’t call it that.”

He hops off your lap, and goes to grab the keys, wasting no time. He stands by the door expectantly. His cock is, extremely obviously, sticking out. Someone didn’t wear his briefs today.

“Can you like… kill that?” You’re laughing as you tug on some sweats of your own, having only been lounging in your panties and one of his shirts. Your usual at home attire.

He looks down, and has a smug grin on his face when he looks at you again. “It’ll go down in the car. Hurry up!”

~~~

A dildo looks so much bigger when one is looking at it knowing that it will be inside of them within the next few hours. And there are so many options and colors. Some vibrate, some have fake pubic hair on them. Some have balls that are squishy and feel eerily… accurate.

Jeongguk isn’t having second thoughts, no. But he is having thoughts. Very overwhelming thoughts. 

You’re next to your boyfriend, glancing between him and the varying selection of fake cocks displayed in front of you both, trying to gauge his reaction. He looks a little pale, but tentatively excited. Curious at the very least.

“Which one do you want?” You ask.

“No idea.” He responds, eyes wide.

Like most store clerks, one shows up, almost like they have a built in ‘customer needs help and has no idea which dildo to get to peg her super hot boyfriend’ radar. 

“You guys need help?” He is a small man, with a monotone voice. He looks like he would rather be anywhere else at 12:30am on a Saturday night. 

“NO!” Jeongguk says quickly and loudly. Very loudly.

Both you and the store clerk flinch, looking at him shocked.

Jeongguk shifts on his feet. “No.” He says in a more socially acceptable tone. “No- I’m sorry. But we’re uh-” He grabs your arm and pulls you closer. “We’re good, thanks.”

The clerk looks between you and Jeongguk and the dildos. “Um… Alright.” He starts to walk away before he turns back around. “Well if you change your mind, I’m Yoongi and I’ll be at the counter. If your toy is electric I’ll test it in the back before you leave… We uh- provide batteries with your purchase if needed…” With one last glance, a very judgmental one in Jeongguk’s opinion, Yoongi takes his place at said counter. His eyes flicker to you guys every once in a while.

“Baby,” You grab Jeongguk’s face between your palms and make him look at you. You squeeze and his lips poke out making him look like a guppy. He blinks. “I know you’re nervous, but it’s going to be okay.”

He rolls his eyes, guppy face and all. “Well obviously. I just- We don’t need help.” He wiggles out of your grip, much like a… guppy.

You grin, trying not to laugh, and just be the supportive girlfriend you are. “Okay, did you decide which one you want?”

A side glance. “Not yet…”

You walk up and go to grab a pink sparkly one.

“Uh, not that one.”

You quirk an eyebrow and move your hand to a larger one.

“No.”

You play a little game of dildo hot or cold until you have a better idea of what Jeongguk wants. His preference seems to be skin tone, close to his own, with a more realistic feel. Normal balls though, not squishy. Also no faux hair. You thank him for that. If you actually had a penis it would surely be waxed. Bless Jeongguk for doing the same. As for size, he leaned more towards a very normal, moderate size. Maybe 5 or 6 inches at most, not too thick. Smaller than himself. One last option.

“Do you want it to vibrate?” You ask, holding one in your hand testing the numerous different settings.

He shakes his head, answering quick. “No.”

He pauses.

“Wait.” He thinks. “Maybe. Should we? You could use it too?” 

Sweet, kind, considerate angel. Always thinking about you and your pleasure. Couples who share the strap last the longest.

You shrug, pointing out, “I could use one that doesn’t vibrate too.”

He looks offended and sounds snotty. “Uh, you don’t need to.”

“Whatever. Why don’t we get both?”

You had a point. He pretends to ponder it, before nodding, already persuaded. “Okay.” 

“We need the harness now.”

You begin the harness hunt, walking through the store, coming across many a things, but for some reason you both keep missing them. They’re nowhere to be found. 

“Maybe they’re sold out?” He tries.

“Doubt it. Let’s go ask.” You grab him by his pinky and try to drag him to the counter. He resists. 

“Let’s not.”

“Koo.” You say giving him a look.

He whines, throwing his head back. Borderline throwing a fit. You hold your ground, smiling.

He’s easy to give in. Being a brat just on principle. “Fine but you’re talking.”

You stand on your tiptoes and kiss his cheek. “Of course, baby.” With his pinky in hand, you make your way to the counter.

The store clerk, Yoongi, if you remember correctly, is sitting behind the counter hunched over smiling at his phone. He doesn’t seem to notice you’re there.

You clear your throat gently, “Excuse me?”

Yoongi jumps, almost throwing his phone. “Fuck!” He exclaims. His fists come up ready to fight before he sees it’s you and Jeongguk. He then places his hand over his heart. “Shit, you scared me.” He chuckles, recovering quickly. “How can I help you?”

You stare at him for a moment longer before speaking up. “Um yeah, I was just wondering where your harnesses are?”

He leans on the counter, head in his hand looking kinda bored. “Hanresses? What kind? Hanging harness? Body harness?”

You glance at Jeongguk and he looks like he’s going to die.

“The um- strap on harnesses?” Your voice goes to a whisper when you say it, despite it just being you guys in the store.

Yoongi sits up, and looks at you, and then looks at Jeongguk. A look of understanding comes over his face along with an amused smile. He nods to himself, while getting up to help you. “Nice. Follow me.”

Jeongguk gapes at the ‘nice’ and looks at you in disbelief. You pat his butt telling him to get going. 

With some help from Yoongi you pick out a harness that looks supportive and comfortable, the ring that holds the dildo, compatible with both the ones that you plan on getting. It’s a simple adjustable black one. Yoongi recommended wearing something under it if the straps dig into you and irritate. He seems bored, but he’s actually very good at his job, and very knowledgeable.  

Finally you’re at the counter. You place all the items in Yoongi’s reach and he’s just about to tell you the total when Jeongguk perks up.

“Wait!” He says before scurrying off.

It’s quiet for a split second. Before the clerk speaks up.

“He’s cute.”

You smile, “Thanks, he’s mine.”

Yoongi laughs, small little fish teeth and gums on display. Must be a Pisces. You know Pisces teeth. “Does he have any cute friends?”

You nod. “Yeah, but they are dating.”

He shrugs. “Don’t care.”

“Uh… I can give you their Instagrams?”

He pulls out his phone, and follows them right there after a quick glance at their pages. Confidence is nice.

There’s a short lull in the conversation. And Jeongguk seems to be taking his sweet time getting something you guys must have forgotten. Or the poor things lost. It’s a big store. You speak up this time.

“Do you have like a manager I could leave a review for? You were really helpful, and seemed like you really knew what you were talking about.”

He shakes his head. “Nah, I own the place. You think I would be here on a Saturday night if it wasn’t obligatory? Thanks, though.”

“Oh.” You say. That was pretty impressive. The store was quite successful based on the reviews. You would make sure to let Jimin and Taehyung know Yoongi was a business man.

“Okay, I’m back.” Jeongguk announces. “Sorry I forgot where it was.”

He places 2 (two) large bottles of lube on the counter. You cough out a laugh.

“Baby, we have lube at home.”

“But do we have enough?”

“I think maybe one more would be more than enough.”

He ignores you, looking Yoongi in the eyes for the first time tonight. “Add both please.”

Yoongi nods, looking a little scared of Jeongguk’s seriousness, and does as he’s ordered.

After Jeongguk pays, and you both are making your way to the exit, Yoongi calls out, “Good luck, tell your friends to follow me back!”

“Uh- Okay?” Jeongguk yells back. When you’re in the parking lot, he asks, “What the heck was that about?”

You shake your head, laughing to yourself. “Don’t worry about it.”

~~~

As soon as you get back to your dorm, the atmosphere is thick, full of tension and nervous anticipation. Jeongguk’s fidgety, eager to get started. You’re not far off, but contain yourself a little more. Need to keep control of the situation in case Jeongguk gets deep into his mood.

You guys are in the bathroom now, each one washing a toy before you use it. You make sure to unwrap the harness and the lube as well, both at Jeongguk’s insistent request, ensuring you don’t have to stop and deal with it later. 

“Let’s just get undressed in here, it’s where my hamper is.” You say already tugging your shirt over your head, tits bouncing freely. Jeongguk went without briefs today, and you went without a bra.

Jeongguk quietly follows suit, and you don’t miss the way his hands are trembling a little in anticipation. When you’re both naked he kisses you quickly, and jiggles your boobs a little just because they are there and because he can, before saying, “Okay, lets go.” He’s out the bathroom before you can even respond. You laugh to yourself and gather the stuff he forgot in his excitement.

When you walk out with your hands full, you see Jeongguk spreading out a blanket over your comforter.

“Whatcha doin?” You ask curiously, placing the items on the nightstand.

“Gets messy. Wanna save your bedding.” He states.

You squawk, grabbing the blanket he set up on your bed. “Not my baby blanket you monster.”

He laughs, abs tensing. You notice he’s already hanging a little heavy between his thighs. “Sorry. Was the first one I saw.” He walks over to the couch and replaces the blanket that’s hanging over the back with your baby blanket and resets up. “Better?” he asks, extended his arm towards your bed to show off his work.

You nod, and take the few steps needed to close the space between you both. Your hand runs down his belly, and you feel his muscles jump, and you see little goosebumps sprout all over. His hands come up to cup your tits. You kiss softly where his heart is. You look up at him.

“I love you.” You smile.

He blushes. “Love you.” He whispers, before he leans down and slots your lips together.

It’s eager from the start. Your bodies press together, as your hands roam. When he takes a breath and surges back in, your teeth click together is his haste, before his tongue slips into your mouth. He groans into you, his hand going down to cup your ass, squeezing and pulling you impossibly closer. 

You feel his cock against your belly, almost fully hard already. You reach down to wrap a hand around him, wanting to help him get there before you get started. He hisses, thrusting forward instinctively before pulling away. He looks like he hates that he does.

“No- I,” He’s already short of breath, chest rising and falling a little bit faster than normal. “I wanna watch you cum. With the toy.” He reaches around you, grabbing the vibrating dildo. “Please?” He asks. His eyes are fervent.

You take the toy in your hand, and kiss him again softly. “Yeah, baby. Whatever you. It’s all about you tonight.”

He shakes his head. “Always about you too.” 

Your heart beats, happy in your chest. You thought about it earlier in the night, but Jeongguk really was the best lover. He always, always made sure you were taken care of, before, during, and after sex. He was so vocal and communicative, genuinely wanting you to know it was always about both of you, even if one was receiving more attention. He was caring like that in and out of the bedroom. You were so lucky to be his.

“You’re too good to me,” You laugh, climbing onto the bed. You settle back against your pillows, propping some behind you so you can see him, and watch him while you get off. He takes his place in front of you, looking at you expectantly.

He’s impatient, placing his hands on your knees, spreading you open so he can see your cunt. You let him get you into position before saying, “Keep your hands to yourself now, okay?”

He nods, eyes never leaving your pussy. He licks his lips. “Okay.” It’s said in a distracted kind of far away tone.

You hum as you bring the toy to your mouth, getting it wet. You wouldn’t need any lube, you would be dripping in no time. You don’t waste any time putting your free hand down between your legs and spreading your pussy lips, so your clit and the pretty pink center of your cunt are displayed for Jeongguk. You glance at him through your lashes, when you hear a small gasp fall from his lips. He’s already got a hand around himself. Just the tips of his fingers stroking his length, at a leisurely pace. 

“She’s so pretty… You’re so pretty.” His eye flick to your face before zeroing in on your center again.

“Tell me how to do it baby. Tell me what you want to see.” You say, voice salacious and soft. You circle your finger slowly around your nub, dipping inside just a bit to spread your slick around.

When he swallows, it’s audible, his Adam's apple jumping. “I want you to turn it on low, and put it on your clit. I want you to feel good.”

You smile, and drag the tip of it down your body to just above your clit, turning it on the lowest setting before making contact with your sensitive nub. Your legs jolt, almost closing when you feel the vibrations. Even the lowest setting was strong. Your head falls back, and your legs spread more for him once you get used to the strength of the toy. “Fuck…” You breathe.

“Does it feel good?” He asks, greedy for your pleasure.

You nod, eyes still closed, focusing. You move the vibrator in small circles over your clit. You can hear Jeongguk’s breaths speed up.

“Turn it up.” His voice gives away that he’s speeded up his hand on his cock too.

You do as he says, looking at him as you do. He’s sin personified. He’s on his knees, sitting back on his feet, so his thighs are flexed and bulging. His abs tense when his palm twists under the crown of his cock. His eyes almost look black, pupils blown so wide, lust taking over his face. He’s got his plump bottom lip drawn between his teeth. He looks up from your pussy and catches you staring. He smiles shyly.

You keep your eyes on him as you bring the toy back down to your core. A short high pitched moan falls from your lips, as your brows knit together, before your eyes roll back. He groans, your expression enough to make his cock start to leak.

“Feels so good, Jeongguk.” You moan. The vibrator is right where it feels best, pulsing against your clit, causing pleasure to bleed into your veins. 

“Yeah, baby?” He asks, he’s breathless, sounds like he’s in love. With you, your cunt. “Tell me.”

“‘S just right Koo, could make me cum just like this…” 

He curses, and you open your eyes just in time to see him grip the base of his cock, keeping himself in check. “Not yet, baby. Little longer, please.” Still so polite and good for you, even when he’s the one telling you what to do.

He has you keep the vibe there, for a while longer, right in the spot that’s gonna make you lose it. He watches as a tiny clear drop leaks from you pink little pussy. It looks like it’s heavy and about to drip down to the blanket under you. He doesn’t notice your legs shaking until you’re gasping, “Koo, I’m almost- I’m gonna-”

“No!” He says quickly, his hand reaches out to pull the vibrator from your cunt just before you get your high. Your pussy aches and throbs, wanting to cum so bad. 

Your chest is heaving when you ask, “Are… are you edging me?”

He shakes his head, even though your eyes are closed, trying to catch your breath. “No, no! I just. I got distracted.” He looks at that small drop of slick again. Fuck, he wants to lick it up and drink you down. “You’re leaking.” He states.

You laugh, breathing getting back to normal. “Yeah?” You reach your hand down to collect the distracting little droplet and bring it in front of you. You press the sticky finger to your thumb and then pull them apart to see the clear strings stay connected even as you pull. You hum, before offering your hand to Jeongguk. He sucks in a breath.

“Want some?” 

He’s quick as he crawls between you legs, cock fully hard now. He watches you as he sucks your fingers into his mouth, tongue swirling around getting every last bit, before he sucks off with a pop!

He crawls farther up your body to kiss you deep, wanting you to get a taste of yourself too. He pulls back just a bit, and whispers against your lips, “I want you to fuck yourself with it, okay? Just for a little bit, then you can cum?” He’s phrasing it as a question, knowing he really doesn't have the final say, not tonight. But his voice is shaking from how turned on he is, how could you ever say no?

“Sit back.” Is all you respond. He does as he’s told.

You buzz the toy over your clit again, just because you can. Wanting to see how long Jeongguk can be good before begging. Turns out it’s not long at all. 

“Put it in…” He moans. You look at him and his mouth is parted, and his eyes heavy as he watches you. His hand is moving fast over his cock, sticking straight up to his tummy. “Please.”

You drag the toy down to your slit, and tease it there before just barely pushing it in just a fraction of the length. Jeongguk whines, high and desperate. Apparently you’re moving to slow for him.

“More,” He begs. 

You sigh, “You’re so needy tonight, baby.” He nods, agreeable.

When the toy sinks inside of you all the way to the hilt, you and Jeongguk both moan a quiet, “Fuck.” simultaneously. You’re coherent enough to laugh a little at the jinx, but he seems to barely notice, too focused on watching the toy sink into you, and then come back out to vibrate your clit again. You keep up this teasing pattern, again waiting to be told what to do by him, waiting to see how long he makes it this time.

“Harder, do it harder,” He’s panting. Moaning every word that leaves his lips.

You do as he says, and finally push the toy in at a pace that gets you climbing to being close again. You won’t be able to come like this though, and he knows that. Knows that you can only cum from penetration with him. He leans over and grabs the other toy from the end table, spitting on it and spreading it around until it's covered well.

“Use them both, want you to cum for me.”

With two toys in your hands, one in your cunt, filling you up, and one on your clit, making your legs shake, you do your best to make yourself cum. But it’s not enough. A soft whine falls from your lips, you’re so close, but you need more. More than you can give yourself.

“Faster baby, faster. You’re so close.” He whispers. He got both hands working now too, one stroking and one down tugging on his balls. 

You whimper, “I can’t my arm hurts. It’s tired.”

Immediately he stops pleasing himself and gets right to pleasing you. Your pleasure taking priority. “Shh, don’t worry, I’ll help you baby.”

Jeongguk sits between your legs, and takes over the toy fucking into you, and turns up the one on your clit. With him pushing the toy in at a pace that you couldn’t do yourself, and the other toy vibing your clit incessantly, it takes barely any time at all for you to cum. You were so close already, just needed him to push you over. 

Your legs are shaking and your toes are curling, when you cry out, “Baby, I’m gonna cum.”

“Do it, baby. Wanna watch.” He’s quiet, paying close attention to your body and the reactions he’s helping pull from it. He’s part of the reason why your face looks so pornographic as you finish. He’s part of the reason why your back is arching off of the bed. He’s part of the reason why your toes are curling, and why your legs are shaking, and why your pussy is contracting over the toy he’s still thrusting inside of you, working you through every last second of your orgasm. He reads your body cues, and slows down and pulls it out when you start to come down. You look blissed out, and you bring a hand to your hair and fluff it a little before laughing.

“That was good.” You sigh smiling, and when you look at him an image forms in your head, and you have every intention of making him carry it out.

Right before your eyes, Jeongguk wraps his lips around the toy that is going to be inside of him in just a short while, sucking off your slick. He laps his tongue around it trying to get it all. He’s obscene. 

“Gimme,” You say sitting up with an extended hand. 

He pouts at being interrupted, but does as he’s told. He takes your spot on the bed, and you head to the bathroom, stopping by your dresser on the way.

When you get to the bathroom, you close the door and get to cleaning the toys once again. After, you get to the stuff you grabbed from the wardrobe. A lacy pair of black panties, and sheer black thigh highs with matching lace adorning the tops. You slip into them, and then move on to the strap on. You hold it in front of you and try to make sense of which part goes where, and which holes your legs go into. It takes a second, but you get into it, adjusting it so it's nice and snug. Your outfit probably won’t help much with protecting your thighs, but at least the little part above your pussy will be safe. You look at yourself in the mirror. Not too weird or scary yet. You glance at the dildo on the counter.

It’s not too big so hopefully it’s not too… jarring when you see yourself with it. You get to work, slipping the suction base of the non-vibrating toy into the ring that’s meant to hold it in place. You look at it sticking out from your crotch and take a deep breath before turning to the mirror.

You gasp, before cackling quietly. You knew it was going to be weird. Like you knew. But actually seeing yourself with the whole get up is funny. Right now at least. You know it’s going to be sexy, once you get used to it and into the moment and inside of Jeongguk. You wonder how he’s going to react. Only one way to find out.

While you're walking to your bedroom from the bathroom, the dildo bobs, and you're giggling distractedly until you lift your eyes to let your boyfriend know you're ready. Again you’re met with a scene so indecent it belongs in a porno.

Jeongguk’s eyes are closed and soft moans are falling from his lips as he strokes his cock. He’s got three fingers in his ass, opening himself up for you, for your cock. Such a good good boy. He was so patient and productive while you got ready for him.

“You’re so good baby,” You murmur softly.

Jeongguk blinks his eyes open slowly, and rolls his head to the side to look at you. He doesn’t even falter in his movements at all, hand still moving, fingers still thrusting. He smiles a little when he sees you, but his eyes are hazy and he sounds lust drunk when he simply says, “You look sexy.”

You blush and a fond smile graces your lips, any embarrassment or self consciousness you were feeling prior to seeing him spread out for you on your bed, quickly vanishing.

You settle on the bed between his legs and watch for a moment as his hole takes his long fingers in. “Want me to help?” You ask quietly.

“Mhmm,” He nods, eyes closed still, tongue peeking out from between his lips. He doesn’t take his fingers out, though.

You grab the lube next to him, and flip it open. “You gonna get out so I can get in?” 

He shakes his head. “Nuh uh. Put one in with mine.”

Something about that makes your body tingle. Inside of him with him. Opening him up. You can’t explain it, because you don’t really even get it yourself, but it makes you buzz and feel almost high.

You slick up your middle finger, and drizzle some more on his for good measure. He jumps slightly, and then giggles softly.

“Cold.” He says.

“Sorry,” You say distractedly. Your finger is lined up with his now.

“I’ve never done 4 before so you… have to go slow…” He pauses as he speaks, letting himself moan freely when his fingers graze over that secret spot that he’s grown to love so much.

“Tell me to stop if you need to.”

He doesn’t reply, just stops his fingers so you can wiggle yours in next to his. At the first push against his hole, there’s resistance. Very much expected. He’s quiet, teeth gritted, but he never says stop, knowing his body wants it, and knowing it will accommodate what he wants. After the second knuckle, your finger sinks in, almost gets sucked in, by his hole.

He lets out a shaky breath.

“You okay, baby?” You check in.

“Yeah just… full.” He moans when you wiggle your finger experimentally. “”S good. Move it some more.”

You do, and his start to move with yours. You can feel his fingers curl inside of himself to reach his prostate, and it’s pleasant in an out of body way, knowing when his face is going to contort in pleasure, and when he’s going to cry out, when you never really knew before. You’ve milked him before, of course, but feeling him do it to himself from the inside? It’s kind of thrilling.

“Pull, stretch me out.” He moans, voice impatient and needy.

He gets kinda slutty when something’s up his ass.

He swears when you do, his finger rubbing insistent circles on his prostate to distract himself from the minor sting of the stretch. His moans, start to raise in pitch and his hand that’s on his cock, still jerking it, starts to speed up. You can tell he’s close. He clenches against your finger that’s still stretching him open.

“Fuck,” He says, on a breathless giggle, “Take them out. Or I’m gonna cum.” He’s still stroking his cock, like he doesn’t wanna stop.

“You c-” 

“No. Out.” He demands, hand finally pulling away from his cock, and his fingers inside stop. You gently ease out of him.

When Jeongguk’s fingers slip out, you gasp. His little pink hole is clenching on nothing, still open just the tiniest bit, thoroughly stretched.

“You know how you always say my pussy is pretty?” You ask, fingers tracing around the puffy stretched rim.

He makes an affirmative noise, watching you with hooded, lazy eyes as you touch him. He even spreads farther so you can touch and see better. You marvel at the difference between the embarrassed boy you made cum untouched a couple months ago, and the one in front of you now, so comfortable and relaxed. It makes you happy.

“Well, your butthole is pretty.”

He snorts, and kicks you lightly. He smiles at you, soft and sluggish. “Just fuck me.” 

He sounds so wistful and just ready.

But you’re not.

You grip the base of your cock, and stand up. You walk to the head of the bed, next to his confused face. You stay there waiting for him to get it. He doesn’t.

“You want me inside of you right baby?” You ask, voice gentle.

He nods, eyes no longer hazy, but wide and confused. He looks between you and your cock.

“I think that means you have to get me ready. Get me nice and wet, right?”

You can physically see when Jeongguk gets it. When it clicks for him. His eyes darken, and he licks his lips. “Yeah… You’re right. I should… help you.” He whispers, sitting up. You back up enough for him to have a place on the floor.

Jeongguk on his knees for you isn’t a new sight. He’s eaten your pussy like this before, you either grinding onto his face, or him holding you still and making quick work of your clit. But Jeongguk on his knees for you to suck your cock? New, and lewd. 

He looks nervous, kind of hesitant. A hand is raised midway, like he isn't sure if he should grab it. 

“Lick it, baby.” You encourage.

He glances at you, doe eyes seeking approval as he leans forward and gives a kitten lick to the tip. You nod, letting him know he’s doing well. His hand comes up and replaces yours at the base and he opens his mouth enough to wrap his lips around the head, and he swirls his tongue.

He pops off, and strokes up to where his mouth was and spreads the little bit of spit. The silicone is still dry though, so he spits on it more, straight from his mouth. You suck in a breath.

“Fuck, you’re so hot baby.” You whisper a breathy moan as his hands move up and down your cock. He adds his mouth again.

He hums a little, before backing up and looking at you again. “Does that feel good?” He asks.

You laugh lightly, in pure awe of him. He’s so sexy, and so sweet, and so incredibly lust inducing. Your pussy aches behind your cock. “Feels so good, baby. You’re doing so good.”

He hums, still stroking you off. “I really want it inside me…” He says, hinting that he’s ready.

You have mercy on him, having fulfilled your newfound personal fantasy enough for the night. Maybe you could revisit it another time. But now it was time to fulfill a mutual fantasy.

“On the bed, hands and knees.” You tell him.

Excitedly he hops back onto the bed, and gets into position, his hole on display for you. His back is arched and you can see the plush swell where his lower back meets the top of his cheeks. You settle behind him, and his shoulder to waist to hip ratio, is sinful. He’s always had the daintiest waist, strong, but still so small. But at this angle, it’s cinched and the way his legs are spread makes his hips look wider, accentuating the dip at his middle. You rub your hands over the narrow curve, all the way to his cheeks, grabbing handfuls of the muscle. There’s a slight give when you squeeze your hands.

Jeongguk’s head drops, and he lets out a shuddering sigh, he’s got the chills again, and he’s got a constant thrum coursing through his body. “Please…” He moans, so quietly, so desperately.

You kiss the small of his back before grabbing the lube left abandoned on the bed. You lather 2 of your fingers, and push them into Jeongguk’s hole making sure he’s nice and slick. There’s no resistance at all, hole loose and ready enough for them to slip right in. Then you lather your cock, probably with too much lube, honestly, but you wanted to be so sure that he didn’t feel any more pain than absolutely necessary. You knew the first initial push in would be the worst, but you were hopeful you both had stretched him out enough to at least minimize or diminish it altogether. 

You grab the base of your cock and line it up with his hole. It flutters, when you barely press against his rim.

“Ready?” You ask, giving a heads up.

“Yeah.” He says softly.

He’s tight. His hole sinks in with the tip of your cock before the rim gives and swallows around it. Jeongguk tenses and his hands grip the blanket under you. 

“Shit…” He groans. He sounds like he’s clenching his teeth.

You rub soothingly at his lower back, fingers dipping when you run them over the dimples at the bottom of his spine. “You’re doing so good baby.” You tell him.

“Doesn’t really hurt, I’m just stretching.” He says through his teeth. “I can take it though, keep going.”

You grab the lube and drizzle more directly onto his hole. He doesn’t mention the cold this time, too focused on taking your cock. You push against him, and feel yourself sink deeper into him. It’s like after the tip was in, his body knew what to do to take the rest. The slide wasn’t a swift, fast stroke, but it was a smooth and slow glide. When you bottom out Jeongguk’s arms give out from under him, his face going to the bed. 

“Holy fuck.” He keens, resting his head on his arms. Your hands are constantly on him, soothing him in any way that you can.

“Tell me when.” You whisper patiently. He nods. With his head turned to the side and pillowed on his arms, you can see his eyes are squeezed shut. The inhales and exhales you can see in the expanding of his ribcage, tell you that he’s taking deep breaths working through the stretch, getting himself used to it.

“Okay… Ready.” He murmurs.

You pull out just a bit before pushing back in. Jeongguk moans softly. Spreads his legs even wider, arches his back even deeper. He’s pushing his ass out for you, his body begging you to make it feel good.

You keep a slow pace, kind of nervous to speed up. 

“You can go faster, feels nice.” He says. He’s been puffing out little gasps of air every time you bottom out with your slow pace.

With his consent, you grab at his hips and pull out to just the tip, before swiftly pushing back in, fast and hard. His cheeks bounce on the impact. You grab one and jiggle it a little, thrusting into him again, drinking down the whines that slip out.

“You’ve got such a bubble butt, I never noticed before. But it like… bounces.” You say, wonder in your tone. 

“Thanks, can you like tell me about it later?” He asks, voice strained.

Point taken. 

Your thrust game is kind of shitty, in reality. It’s hard to find a rhythm, your hips not used to moving this way. But Jeongguk is moaning freely underneath you, just happy to have something inside of him after thinking about it all week. So you keep going, and eventually, the pattern comes to you, still kind of messy, but now you’ve got him cursing beneath you. You’ve got one hand on his ass, the other braced on his arched spine.

A particularly good thrust has Jeongguk burying his face into the bed, teeth biting at the bedding. “Yeah fuck-” He groans with his mouth full of blanket. With his hands now free, he brings them behind him and settles them on his cheeks and spreads.

You watch clearly as your cock sinks into Jeongguk’s ass. You’re out of breath, but you make sure to tell him how good he looks, how pretty his hole looks swallowing your cock, like it was made to take it.

“Wanna ride you.” He says. His voice is pitifully wrecked and he sounds so thoroughly fucked, you feel a little proud. Still, you’re grateful for a break. You don’t know how he fucks you like he does. ‘Topping’ is tiring. You pull out of him, and realize that when you were in awe of his hole at taking your fingers, it was premature. Jeongguk’s hole after he takes your cock is vulgar. It’s properly gaped now. Not huge, but around a fingers width.

He rolls over, and settles on his back like he just needs a moment. His chest is heaving, similar to yours. You hop off the bed, and a needy keen comes from him. You glance back at him, and he looks like he’s going to get up and follow you, but you hush him gently.

“I’m just getting some water, baby. I’ll be right back.” 

He huffs flopping back onto his back. “Hurry please.” He whines.

You get back as soon as possible with a glass of water for you both to share. He sits up onto one elbow and makes a grabby hand for the cup after you’ve had your share. You swat his hand away and hold the cup to his lips. He hums, gulping the water down. He’s happy to be coddled and taken care of. When he finishes with a cute little gasp, you place the cup to the side, and brush your hand through his sweaty hair. 

He butts his head against your palm and laughs. His eyes shut, and crinkled at the corners. His water break seems to have perked him up. His cock hasn’t deflated one bit. Rock hard and red, throbbing against his tummy. It’s messy and wet too.

You’re about to ask if he touched himself while you were inside of him, but before you can, you’re getting manhandled until he’s on top of you. He’s got your hands pinned above your head, and he smiles at you playfully, before leaning down to kiss you, deep and slow. He sucks on your lip, and slowly grinds his cock onto your belly, soft whines spilling from his tongue. He brushes his nose against yours as he sighs into your mouth, finally allowing himself the pleasure of paying attention to his cock. 

He doesn’t allow himself relief for long, however. He’s sitting up and looking from side to side for the lube before finally spotting it. His movements are quick and hectic, like he’s too excited and overly eager.

You rub your hands over his strong thighs. “Hey, slow down. You don’t have to rush. We have all night.”

He sighs at your touch, and nods softly. He whispers. “Yeah… okay. I love you.”

The little affection makes you swoon, absolutely smitten. “I love you.” You squeeze at his legs, tenderly.

He hums. “Gonna ride you now.” He opens the lube and continues with eager actions, almost like you didn’t even slow him down just a moment ago. You smile fondly to yourself. Jeongguk’s too busy slicking up your cock again to notice the mushy look.

He’s got a hand reaching behind him and he’s gripping your cock to line it up with his hole. He wiggles to get into the right position before slowly starting to sink down. His eyebrows are pinched, and his mouth falls open. But his eyes roll back when he bottoms out. His hands are braced on your stomach.

“Oh, I love it like this.” He whimpers. His legs tense at your sides, almost like he’s trying to close his legs at the pleasure he feels from your cock being tucked inside of him, hitting all the right places. He starts to grind on your cock, soft pleasured little mewls just tumbling off his tongue.

He looks so good, whining, grinding on you with his weeping cock displayed. But you wanna see him lose it on your cock. See him fall apart at how good it feels, not watch him bask in it.

“Bounce on it.” You say, voice sounding almost as fucked out as his. You know your panties are soaked through at this point, pussy pulsing and neglected, tucked away behind the strap.

Jeongguk nods. “Yeah, wanna.” 

He’s lifting himself off your cock to the tip before sliding down on it again, hard and fast. It punches a sharp gasp from his lungs. He finds a pace he likes and keeps it up, his thighs tensing, and his abs flexing as he tests his stamina, chasing that euphoric feeling he wants so so badly. He’s so strong and fit, bouncing up and down on your cock as loud unabashed moans fill the room. 

The force of him riding you makes your tits jiggle, bouncing around until they catch his attention. He groans before his hands find them, squeezing hard, using them as leverage as he pulls and drags his hips over yours. Your cock must be rubbing over his prostate because he’s losing his mind. All kinds of noises leave his mouth, and the expressions he makes are filthy.

“Fuck baby. You make me feel so good. The best- I-” He eyes squeeze shut and his mouth opens in a silent moan, overwhelmed, before a guttural groan sounds from deep within his chest. “God. Wanna cum on your cock, baby. Fuck me-”

You laugh, wonderstruck, and kind of deliriously high on the satisfaction and fulfillment you get from seeing Jeongguk feel so just…. Good. “Yeah baby? You’re gonna cum for me? All over my cock?”

He whimpers and nods as he gets back to bouncing, a desperation to his movements that wasn’t there before. His cock is slapping against both of your stomachs with nasty wet noises due to his precum getting everywhere. You feel some fly and hit your neck, his cock just dripping, weeping and begging to cum. 

It won’t be long though, before he cums. You feel the way his thighs tense, and he gets that confused look on his face, and he’s got that puzzled pitch to his moans. It’s the way he always gets when he cums untouched, always in awe that he can do it himself, without a hand around his cock. His whole body is flushed and hot to the touch, sweat making him glow in the soft light of your bedroom lamp.

He throws his head back, neck extended, and veins bulging, before looking down at his bouncing cock. “Fuck, I’m gonna cum.” He’s so whiny and noisy when he moans.

“Yeah?” You ask again, “Do it baby, show me how. You can do it, cum for me.” 

He’s nodding frantically, “Yeah- I’m gonna... Fuck, yes- Yeah, I’m-” He bounces a few more times, silent aside from the obscene squelching noises of your skin meeting, before his body tenses one last time before that string in him snaps. “Cumming-” He chokes it out. His moans don’t stop the whole time his cock shoots out his load, landing on your tummy. The moans even turn into cries, actual tears filling his eyes and falling down his cheeks. His body jerks and twitches with his orgasm. But still, he’s grinding on you, your cock still rubbing that spot inside of him, it’s like he never wants the feeling to end, even if it’s devastating, bordering on too much to handle.

You smooth your hands all over his sweaty body, before firmly placing them on his hips, stopping him. “Hey. You’re good, you did so good baby, you don’t have to keep going.”

Jeongguk’s cries are quiet, and he takes a few deep stuttering breaths to try and calm himself down, nodding with your soothing words. He rubs the back of his hand at his eyes, trying to dry them. It doesn’t help much, he’s calmed himself some but a few silent tears still make their way out, along with some soft hiccupping breaths.

“Lay down, and wait for me, hmm?” You whisper gently. He nods and lifts himself slowly, wincing at the sore ache in his hole. It’s more prevalent now that the pleasure has subsided. He all but collapses onto your pillow. 

“I’m gonna get some more water, and a towel okay?”

He grunts in response.

Before you go, you strip out of the gear, just tossing it on the ground, eager to get back to Jeongguk after getting the things you need.

When you get back, he is in the same exact position, and you laugh lightly. 

“Baby?” You ask, making sure he didn’t fall asleep.

Another grunt.

Good, he would hate you in the morning if you left him to sleep being so messy.

“Sit up, I have water and snacks and cleaning supplies.”

His head pops up. “Snacks?” His hair is sticking up on one side.

You laugh, endeared. He’s not crying anymore either, a good sign that he will be okay in just a little while after some kisses and love.

“Yeah, I got some of those seaweed chips you like, and some water.”

He sits up, leaning back on the pillows knowing the drill for after butt stuff. You hand him the water and the chips. He eats first.

“You hungry?” You ask, fitting yourself between his legs with the warm washcloth. He opens easily, munching away. You both are far past after sex shyness.

He talks with his mouth full. “Yeah. Jimin said not to eat the day off.”

You hum curiously, but don’t question it. Jimin partakes in butt stuff much more than you both. 

You’ve got all the lube cleaned off his thighs and cheeks, now all that’s left is his hole. You do it as gently as you can, knowing he’s sore just from how red and swollen and puffy it is.  But he still winces.

“How bad is it?” He mumbles.

You hesitate. “Um… You’re gonna be a little sore.” You tell him simply.

He groans, before downing his water. When he’s done, he says, “Practice is going to suck.”

You nod in agreement. It was. You wrap the used cloth in the blanket you used to protect your sheets, once again just tossing the bundle to the floor.

“Worth it though,” He smiles, pleased.

You chuckle as you find your place by him. He’s set his refreshments aside and lets you curl against him. His body sags with exhaustion when he feels your warmth press into him. You plant kisses on every inch of skin you can reach. He purrs.

“Why’d you keep going?” You ask, between smooches.

“I don’t know… it just felt so good. I guess I didn’t want it to stop.” He’s quiet, and his words are said on a sigh.

You nod, your kisses making your way to his lips. You just kiss him, slow and easy, for a few minutes until he yawns into it. He giggles.

“I’m so tired man.”

“I bet man.” You tease.

He kisses you one more time before asking, “Will you tickle my back until I fall asleep?” It’s hopeful and so sugary sweet.

“Yeah roll over.”

It’s barely a few minutes before you're met with his soft snores. You kiss his shoulder blade, before following right behind him.

~~~~

you ask for pegging and you shall receive :] i hope you liked it and that it met ur pegging standards askdkhjd as always, comments and feedback and asks and notes are loved and appreciated. thank you for reading friends ily :* 

[immaturityofthomasastruc]

Lila Rossi: I’d Say She’s a Good Villain, but Then I’d Be Lying (300 Follower Special)

Deception and cunning are easily two of the most important traits an antagonist could have. It shows that even if they don't have the strength to overcome obstacles, their wit is more than enough. This kind of trait is why characters like Lex Luthor, David Xanatos, and Princess Azula are so beloved, simply because of how intelligent they can be as villains and pose a real threat to the heroes.

It's clear that the Miraculous Ladybug writers want Lila to be seen as this, but the writing seriously fails to back that claim up.

Easily one of the most controversial characters in Miraculous Ladybug is Lila, mainly for the writing surrounding her. But there was a time where she was actually more of an ambiguous character, mainly for the lack of screentime she had until Season 3. But unfortunately, the more appearances she's had have painted a very poor portrait of an antagonist.

Lila's Tragic and Sympathetic Motivation for Hating Ladybug

Lila's first appearance was at the tail end of Season 1, “Volpina”. She was a new transfer student from Italy, and quickly made friends with a lot of her classmates for the lies she told, including being friends with Ladybug (which Alya blindly believed without doing any research like any excellent journalist). But because of how close she was getting to Adrien, Marinette, in a rare act of selfishness, transforms into Ladybug just to chew out Lila for lying about knowing her, humiliating her in front of Adrien. And this is the only motivation we get for what Lila does afterwards.

I'm not saying that it's wrong for Lila to get upset at Ladybug for doing this, and I like the moment of weakness Marinette has, but this is literally the only explanation we get for Lila deciding to side with Hawkmoth, a literal terrorist. As much as I hated the way the arc turned out, I could still understand Chloe siding with Hawkmoth, as it was clear that Hawkmoth was manipulating her and taking advantage of her ego. Lila? Ladybug's mean to her one time, and that inspires her to conspire with a complete stranger who brainwashes people to attack the city, which endangers innocent people and causes God knows how much in collateral damage if not for Miraculous Ladybug fixing everything.

I just don't get how a single negative interaction with someone is enough to conspire with a literal supervillain. Even in Season 3, when Marinette and Lila truly became enemies, it was because she risked exposing all the lies she told, which could damage her reputation. Sure, it's petty, but it makes sense for Lila to want to keep up the illusion. If she was simply an antagonist to Marinette in her civilian life like Chloe was before “Miracle Queen” , I'd be fine with that, but the writers clearly want her to be seen as on the same level of evil as Hawkmoth. I'll get into why that doesn't work later on.

Why Lila is an Excellent Liar

In my Master Fu analysis, I had pointed out that despite all the flaws he had, the narrative insisted on portraying him as an incredibly wise mentor. The same problem applies for Lila as well. We're supposed to see Lila as an expert manipulator and liar, but her lies are insultingly obvious. She always claims to be friends with celebrities and does all these awesome things, and in an age where we can have almost any question answered thanks to the internet, nobody ever stops to question her.

It's even more frustrating when you hear Lila talk about saving Jagged Stone's cat, when Jagged Stone is established to be very fond of Marinette (evidentially more than his own daughter), and nobody ever points that out. I think if Lila's lies were more stories about her travels around the world than outright lies about real people, it could have worked. It'd still be hard to believe, but it's something.

But this is a problem with writing shows aimed at children. As much as we hate writers who need to spell out things to kids, sometimes, they just don't understand some of the media they consume. Seriously, I never got this joke in SpongeBob as a kid, and I can't believe Nickelodeon actually approved this.

So the dilemma when writing a show with children in mind is finding that sweet spot between assuming your audience can figure it out, but not being too vague in your details. It's even harder when you need to find a way to convey the fact that someone is lying without being too obvious. Unfortunately, the show clearly fails to do that

Okay, this is going to sound like an incredibly weird thing to cite, and I only know about it because I used to know someone who was a huge fan of the franchise, but the movie Monster High: Friday Night Frights does a better job of subtly explaining to the audience that a character is lying. Please, just hear me out.

The movie follows the main characters competing in their high school's roller derby for the season after everyone on the usual team gets injured, and the championship match is against another school whose team tends to cheat to win matches. How they manage to do this without getting caught is anyone's guess. While the main characters are practicing, their coach, Clawd, notices a spy for the enemy team taking video of them to study their moves. In response, he calls over one of the athletes, Operetta, to chew her out for her showboating attitude. In reality, he's alerting her to the spy. Only using facial expressions, he clues her, and by extension, the audience, in on the fact that they know what the opposing team is trying to do.

This soon leads to Operetta pretending to tell the enemy team about their secret plan for the championship match, which was really an attempt to outsmart them to gain the advantage in the final stretch. The brilliance of this is how the audience is informed of this with no dialogue, and there's no scene afterwards spelling it out for those who don't get it. It manages to convey deception without being too obvious that Clawd and Operetta are being deceitful.

I think if there were more subtle hints to show the audience Lila was lying, she would be seen in a better light. As it is, Lila's lies are just pathetic, and it's ridiculous that everyone believes her. Which leads me to...

Lila, the Master Manipulator

I once read a Star Trek: Voyager fanfic that poked fun at the series by claiming that the reason a lot of the dumber episodes like “Threshold” and “Twisted” happened was because one of the crew members was an alien who unintentionally produced mood altering pheromones, with Captain Janeway actually realizing they were all high because of said pheromones, while two of the unaffected crew members were wondering what the hell they were doing before they found out the cause. Why do I bring this up? Sometimes, it feels like Lila is an unintentional parallel to the alien in that story.

Like so many characters, it's clear the show desperately wants the audience to view Lila in a certain way, but her actions do very little to actually back up that claim. When she's not using lies to tell stories about so many famous people she knows like her uncle who works for Nintendo, Lila is using strategies to manipulate everyone that are so obviously deceptive, the Thermians could pick up on them. Everyone and their mother knows how ridiculous a lot of what Lila does in episodes like “Chameleon” and “Ladybug” are, and I've talked about them before, so I'll try to be quick.

First off, as someone who had access to accommodations through high school and has had assistance in college so far, there is no way in hell that Ms. Bustier should take Lila's tinnitus at face value in “Chameleon”. If a student has a disability that could interfere with the education process, physical or developmental, not only does the school have to evaluate their performance, and determine if they're eligible for an Individualized Education Program, or IEP, but her teachers would have to be notified in the first place. As her primary educator, Ms. Bustier would be part of the team to oversee Lila's IEP and determine what accommodations she needs to help her learn better with her tinnitus and arthritis. But because the writers don't know what Google is, they just ignore it,  assume that Lila can just say she has a disability, and have everyone believe it. Even when Eric Cartman pretended to be disabled to compete in the Special Olympics, he put in more effort to look the part, even if he looked like a caricature.

Then there's the fact that that in “Chameleon”, everyone just believes Lila when she says Marinette stole her grandmother's necklace when not only is said necklace from the Agreste line of jewelry, but Alya, who is Rena Rouge, can't pick up on the fact that it's a fake. All she does to justify these lies is come up with a sob story about how nobody believes her, yet nobody ever tries to defend Marinette except Alya one time, and it was after she got expelled.

Or what about in “Oni-Chan”, where Lila thinks having Kagami kill Ladybug while claiming she'll back away from Adrien is a good idea? Let's say Oni-Chan does kill Ladybug or at least take away her Miraculous, what then? We know Lila wouldn't go through with this promise, and as soon as Kagami sees her harassing Adrien, she'll be ripe for akumatization again. Overall, not a great plan.

And yet somehow, this last example is what made her worthy enough to become one of Hawkmoth's most trusted agents. I'm just going to say it: Lila is not a good fit for the power of illusion. Whenever she's Volpina or Chameleon, she always goes out of her way to make a big show instead of being subtle with her deceptions. “Chameleon” is the worst offender, as even though Lila gets the power to shapeshift into someone else, instead of being discreet and cornering people into kissing them and gaining their appearance, she just runs around to get Ladybug's attention instead of being subtle. Even Felix had the bright idea to pretend to be Adrien to catch Ladybug off guard. How do you lose to something that happened in “Felix”?

Despite all of these screw-ups, we're still supposed to see her as this master of deception worthy of allying with Hawkmoth in both his supervillain and civilian form, when really, she's a terrible liar on the schoolyard and on the battlefield.

Why Lila is an Important Character

In the grand scheme of things, Lila just isn't as important of a character that the show loves to parade her around as. She's nothing more than a plot device used to raise the stakes in an episode, given how much reality seems to bend over just to accommodate for her lies. Even when the show alludes to her being part of bigger things, like her deal with Adrien, or her rivalry with Marinette, they don't even go anywhere.

She just feels pointless when you remember Astruc's brilliant idea to force Chloe into being the final Akuma for the season while Lila isn't even mentioned once. She only really makes appearances whenever the writers feel like it, which is why it’s hard to take her seriously. Why should I take this character seriously as a threat if the writers refuse to take her seriously as a threat? Why build Lila up as a big threat and not give her a major role in the finale? Why even include her in the show in the first place when you could show Chloe being more manipulative to fill in the plots Lila plays a big part in?

As of the time I am writing this analysis, four episodes of Season 4 have aired, three of them have been about lies or deception, and Lila hasn't been mentioned at all. It honestly seems like she won't appear unless the writers need a easy way to drive up the conflict, so they can justify it by saying that Lila's “superpower” of lying is more powerful than the common sense of everyone else.

I'm sorry this post was shorter than the last one, but compared to Master Fu, there's not that much to say about Lila that I haven't already said. Even the show barely gives her any attention, so it's hard for me to really find a lot to talk about.

[cursestothemoon]

Werewolves Of London ( I )

Multiple Part Series

Part I

When Their Eyes Locked 

Word Count: 2016

Fred Weasley x Fem!Werewolf!Reader

Summary: Fred can’t seem to stop himself from staring at you. What happens when your eyes lock? 

Warnings: raunchy banter, description of turning into a werewolf (description of pain and screaming), being in pain, Y/n has a very prominent scar on her face idk if this is a warning (personally i don’t think it is but you can never be too careful😌)

A/N: Alrighttttt chapter one guys, pretty exciting😗. It’s kinda slow, really just introducing characters, background, and existing relationships. AH I HOPE YOU GUYS LIKE ITTTT, also best friend Lily makes a comeback (not Lily Evans)

“Come on! We’re gonna miss it!”

“We’re not gonna miss shit, either it happens here or it happens there.”

“I’d prefer the latter.”

Cedric let out a snort as he looked back at you, his scarf flapping in the wind and nearly hitting him in the face.

The wind was harsh this Saturday evening, overcast and gloomy, as three students were making their way to the Whomping Willow. The trek was meant to be a quiet one, a sneaky departure from the castle, but of course that was never the case. Not when Cedric Diggory seemed to ooze happiness and joy with each step, his smile warming the crisp, cool air around him; not when Lily Mclaggen (older sister of Cormac) had just as much snap as her brother had confidence and especially not when Y/n L/n, a sarcastic lycanthrope, was about seven minutes away from being in the midst of the full moon.

A sickeningly loud cracking started to sound from behind Cedric, making him turn to see you doubled over.

“Lily!”

“Calm down!”

You groaned, “I’m fine, let’s just go.”

Lily hooked her arm around your waist, shoving you toward the Whomping Willow that Cedric had fortunately petrified. You were able to just catch the familiar badger disappear into the hole under the tree. The pain was excruciating, making your knees give way and your body hit the ground as you felt what seemed to be your bones breaking, muscles tearing, skin stretching to accommodate the form of a beastly form. Groans and screams were pulled from your throat as you transformed, your hands scratching at your neck- or any exposed skin really- to somehow try and claw the pain away.

One last blood curdling scream turned into a strangled howl at the bright moon.

The werewolf stood up, shaking off the dirt from the ground, before snapping at whatever was nipping at its tail. A bone-chilling laugh sounded in the dim tunnel before the hyena gestured toward the badger to start making their way to the shrieking shack through the dark tunnel- the werewolf followed, it didn’t like being alone for long.

--

“Let’s go Fred, before Filch catches up.” George huffed out, his chest heaving from the vigorous running his lungs had to endure just moments prior.

His twin stood still, faint breaths passing from his lips the only thing being heard, his honey brown eyes taking in the vastness of the dark navy sky before him.

Fred had always loved the moon.

If he thought about it hard enough, George could still feel the harsh swats to his rear from when their mother found them out in the field behind the Burrow after Fred had insisted on sneaking out to look at the moon.

George groaned, “It’s just the moon, it’ll be there tomorrow, the day after that and I’m willing to bet my left ear that the moon will be there everyday after that.”

“Yeah but,” Fred grumbled, dramatically gesturing toward the sky with his hand. “It’s a full moon tonight, won’t be full tomorrow now will it?”

The attitude was clear in his tone, even more so in his raised eyebrows and pointed look. George conceded with a laugh, muttering out an ‘alright, Freddie’.

A piercing howl ripped through the silence making the brothers jump and look toward where it had come from- somewhere down near Hogsmeade they’d guess.

Fred slowly turned to his brother, speaking just barely above a whisper, “You think it was a werewolf?”

He had the same glint of mischief in his eyes that he’d get when he was younger and itching to tell a scary story.

George only shook his head, “In Hogsmeade?” He questioned. “Surely, you’re daft Freddie, what would a werewolf be doing in Hogsmeade?”

A shrug was his only response, before he added, “Wouldn’t be too surprising now would it? We’ve got a pink toad in Hogwarts.”

---

Your steps were slow and calculated as you made your way to the Great Hall. Cedric had his arm around your shoulder, no doubt trying to subtly check and see if the bandages he wrapped had held up when you changed into fresh clothes, and Lily had a habit of walking one or two steps behind you just after a full moon- you had a habit of stumbling or even losing balance completely during the few days following.

“You’re looking a lot better than last time, walking around and not stuck in the hospital wing.” Lily commented quietly.

Cedric nodded in agreement, “Yeah, it’s rather boring without your company.”

The comment was meant to rile up Lily, which it did beautifully.

“Right git you are, Diggory, you’re the boring one. You prefects, I swear-”

Lily continued on to grumble about all prefects being the same as you three made it through the doors and to your usual seats- the farthest table to the right, near the large window, and in between a few Hufflepuffs and a couple scattered Gryffindors.

Heat seemed to trail up your shoulder and to your face, the feeling of eyes on you had you inwardly wincing. You never felt too confident the morning after a full moon and it was most mornings that you could feel the heated weight of Fred Weasley’s eyes on you. Amazingly enough, you resisted the urge to turn and meet his gaze instead opting for taking a seat on the bench in between Cedric and Lily and placing your head on Lily’s shoulder lethargically.

On the other side of the room, Lee was slowly chewing on his bite of sugary cereal as he studied the eldest twin.

“You know, mate, you could just talk to her.” He offered up, making Fred rapidly blink as he was brought back to reality.

He frowned, “We’ve been in the same house for seven years, if she wanted to talk to me… she would’ve.”

His eyes seemed to naturally shift back to your form. You were half asleep, head resting on your friend’s shoulder as prettyboy Diggory couldn’t seem to wipe the bright smile off his face so early in the morning.

Fred had always noticed you. In your first year you had offered him your seat in potions next to George because it ‘didn’t feel right’ splitting him and George up on the first day of school- or so you had said before you went to sit next to another first year, Lily.

Second year was when he started to really pay attention to the rather heartwarming- or so Angelina had called it- closeness of your relationship with Lily. You were a sickly child, it seemed almost every month you had come down with something. Fred could remember seeing little twelve year old you sitting near the fireplace in the Gryffindor common room, head on Lily’s shoulder just as it was now and your face incredibly pale yet a warm smile still gracing your lips.

It was the third year when Fred started to realize his curious looks and sweaty palms were not something that just happened. He liked you. The quiet remarks you made under your breath and comedically uncontrollable reactions had him swooning. Third year was also the year that the infamous duo of Y/n and Lily had turned into a trio, prettyboy Diggory finding a cozy spot attached to your hip. It seemed everywhere you went, Cedric was there too.

It was during third year Fred learned about jealousy.

“How do you suppose she got her scar?” Lee asked in a hushed voice not wanting to be overheard.

Fred thought back to when he had first seen you with the gash trailing down from the arch of your left eyebrow to the apple of your right cheek, passing over the bridge of your nose. Sure he had seen you roughed up before, mundane bruises and scratches he imagines you received from being clumsy or maybe roughhousing with siblings he didn’t know you had (Merlin knows Fred himself had enough marks from his brothers roughing him up, all in good fun of course). This was different- violent, it seemed- nothing friendly could’ve made such an angry infliction.

“Does it matter?” Fred mumbled rather defensively. “She’s still...angelic.” He muttered with little regard as to what he was actually saying- his attention was stolen by the grimace that darkened your face as you shifted in your seat to reach for a box of chocolatey cereal.

George faked a dramatic gag, “Sods been a right sap for that girl for years now, still hasn't done a single thing.”

“Give him time,” Lee laughed, moving to shove Fred’s arm teasingly. “Fred’ll man up eventually.”

The seemingly lovestruck boy rolled his eyes at the two, “Fuck off, both of you wankers.”

--

The full moon and weekend had come and gone, the bitter taste of the start of a new school week was on everyone’s tongue as they made their way to their last class Monday afternoon.

You trudged into the dimly lit potions room, the brooding figure of Severus Snape doing nothing to lighten the atmosphere.

“Afternoon, Professor.” You quietly greeted as you slid into your seat.

The man seemed to only grumble out a response, not deeming a proper return of greeting worthy of his time- though you preferred this, rather not wanting to strike up a conversation with the potions Professor.

Lily clambered into the seat beside you, her usual seat, just a few seconds before class started. Her hair was frazzled and her tie a tad askew, silently you handed her a compact mirror from your book bag- though the smirk on your lips was loud.

“Don’t look so smug.” She teased, hand combing down her hair. “You’ve seen the thighs on Natasha Ravenforth, was I just supposed to deny myself the pleasure?”

Her tone was filled with incredulity, eyes wide and questioning almost as if she really couldn’t fathom the thought of not snogging the curvy Hufflepuff just before class. You kept silent, though your smile grew as you felt Lily’s eyes trained on you before she huffed and looked toward Professor Snape who was now beginning his lesson.

The class seemed to drone on, a long lecture from the monotone Severus Snape the only thing filling the agenda had the pace of the lesson slowed to an aching crawl. As your ears started to tune out his painful drawl you noticed it. Like an itch you couldn’t scratch or a twitch you just couldn’t shake, you could feel someone’s eyes on you. You turned to meet the person’s gaze, curiosity indeed killed the cat, and you were met with the honey-brown irises of none other than Fred Weasley. He seemed to be looking at you, or just passed you, with his chin resting on his folded forearms. His lack of reaction to you catching him staring led you to believe he was far too zoned out to know what he was doing, that is until he blinked a few times and his eyes snapped up to meet yours.

You didn’t really know him. Fred Weasley seemed to be everywhere and nowhere all at once, he was elusive and loud and if you weren’t careful you’d definitely find yourself falling for his toothy grin or boyish charm.

Your eyes seem to lock and you couldn’t help but furrow your eyebrows at the feeling fluttering deep within your chest at the way his facial expression seemed to soften and his head tilt ever so gently as his eyes swam with what you could only describe as- for lack of better words- wonder.

A nudge to your ribs brought you back to reality, Lily’s elbow still prodding at your torso until you turned to face the front of the class again just as Professor Snape was turning away from the board he had stuck his nose to whilst writing notes.

With one glance at Lily you could see the irritatingly smug smirk stretching across her face, her eyes still looking forward.

“Don’t look so smug.” You grumbled, roughly picking up your quill to take down notes.

tags:

@siriusement

@amourtentiaa

@vsawyer1989​

@lifeofkaze

@theorangedrummer

@erinruby003

@famdomhideout

@an2402lths

@escapingrealitybyreading

@readyg0erge

@maybesandohnos

@therealhouseelvesofhogwarts

@onlyfreds

[bubblesuga]

A Match Into Water

Summary: Sometimes all Yoongi needs is a warm cabin, and you. W/C: 2,068 Warnings: mentions of smut, cussing, slight angst but mostly fluff

There’s something undeniably gorgeous about the Rocky Mountains of the western US. The sun shines brightly in the middle of the day and cloud coverage is practically non-existent, yet the snow resting on the peaks of the mountains persists like the buzzing of a bee desperately trying to find it’s hive. 

At times, it becomes more of a hindrance to Min Yoongi. He doesn’t like the cold. Hell, he hates it. The brush of the cold winter breeze drags his mood down into the deepest depths of a sinking black hole that he just can’t seem to pull himself away from. This vacation was supposed to help him, bring his mood up and inspire his creativity. Unfortunately it seems to have had the opposite affect. 

“Oh come on,” the girl who followed him on this company appointed vacation is cute, she knows English and helps Yoongi get around, “you’re supposed to be having fun.” 

“You’re insufferable sometimes, you know that?” Yoongi drawls, sipping his warm coffee and sitting in front of the wide window of the rented cabin. American coffee sucks. 

“I’m insufferable? Min Yoongi, you have not left this cabin once since we arrived. You’re like a fucking cat that doesn’t want to move from the one spot of sun inside the house.” her voice is loud, confident. Her lips curl downward and for a moment, Yoongi feels disappointment rush through his veins. He prefers her smile more than he’d be willing to admit. 

He shrugs, taking a long sip, “I like the sun.” 

She groans, falling back onto the well decorated couch, “Can you at least try skiing?” 

“Skiing involves the cold.” 

“Yeah, Yoongi. It’s winter.” 

“Maybe I didn’t want to come here! Maybe I wanted to stay in Korea, I wanted to write the album, and I wanted to move on!” Yoongi bites back, setting down his cup and turning to her. Her face is red, but she stares up at the ceiling as if she’s alone in the room. Yoongi resists the urge to lay beside her, to stroke her hair and ask if she’ll kiss him. 

She huffs, pulling herself up and meeting Yoongi’s eyes, “I’m sorry you didn’t get that opportunity. You’ve been in a rut and your company thought it’d be best for you to get away.” 

“Ah, and why’d they bring you here with me then?” 

“I’m your assistant, you dick.” she stands again and walks away momentarily. For a moment Yoongi thinks he went too far, sometimes the venom at the tip of is tongue moves too fast for him to catch with his lips. It’s not even true, he wants her here more than anyone else. 

When she reemerges from Yoongi’s room, she holds a jacket and warm sweats. 

“Change into these, we’re going down the mountain and shopping.” she’s demanding, maybe Yoongi should listen to her. 

“Why? If you’re my assistant, shouldn’t you be listening to what I want?” not without a little fight, though. 

“Now, Min Yoongi.” 

He chuckles, downing the rest of his coffee and slipping off the hoodie he already wore for the warmer jacket you brought out. She tries not to let her eyes linger on his briefly exposed abdomen when his shirt slides up with his hoodie. Instead, she opts for a nice look at the scenery outside. 

Yoongi’s legs briefly feel the cold of the cabin on his bare legs as he slips on the warm sweats. He’s let himself become comfortable with his assistant, more so than the past women who followed him around and listened to his every wish. This one is different. She’s feisty, opinionated, determined. He likes that a lot. Especially when she crosses her arms and pouts when he tries to fight her decisions. 

He glances at her, the sun reflecting off the snow and shining in her gorgeous eyes. He knows he shouldn’t feel the things he feels for her, but she makes it so damn difficult not to. How was he not supposed to fall for the pretty girl who smiles big and tells him when he’s being an asshole? Everything about her was exactly what he wanted in a woman. So, maybe listening to her wasn’t such a bad thing. 

~*~*~

“When I graduated college, I traveled throughout the world for a year. It made learning English pretty easy.” she shrugs, twirling the pasta around her fork. After shopping for a few hours, Yoongi insisted on stopping at the one Italian restaurant in the small valley at the bottom of the mountains. He only insisted because he knows it’s her favorite. 

“Ah, without you here I would be screwed.” Yoongi shrugs, reaching his fork across the table and digging it into a piece of chicken on her plate. She doesn’t make the effort to slap his hand away, instead reaching for his sangria and taking a sip. 

“I think that in a lot of aspects in your life. Where would you be if I didn’t pick out your outfits for the day?” she giggles as she speaks, already knowing the answer to her ridiculous question. 

“Hm,” he hums, slurping up some of his own food and pausing to swallow, “struggling to tell my right from my left sock.” 

Yoongi grins from ear to ear the moment her laughter leaves her lips. 

This is how their days together were usually spent in Korea, so the fact that the slush covered streets didn’t deter the two of them made moments like these even more special. 

“Why don’t you date?” she asks suddenly, stacking their plates as they were cleared off. 

Yoongi nearly chokes on his drink, taking a deep breath through his nose before swallowing the liquid in his mouth. He clears his throat, “what makes you ask that?” 

“Well,” her face turns slightly red, “I’ve seen all the other members dating. Bring people home. I’ve just never seen you do that so I was just curious as to why.” 

He can tell that she feels like she’s over stepping a boundary. Maybe she is. Of course it’s not appropriate for an assistant to ask her boss why he isn’t so keen on finding a woman to date. Yet, Yoongi isn’t upset by the question. Shocked? Possibly, but he doesn’t feel the need to deny her of an answer. 

“I have my eye on someone, I’m just not sure if she knows that I like her yet.” his words fall off his lips unstirred, landing into a pile on the table that Yoongi suddenly feels desperate to wipe away. Why even give her the notion that he may be interested in her? 

She smiles, but it doesn’t quite brighten up her face like her usual ones, “Who’s the lucky guy or gal?” 

Yoongi raises an eyebrow, “Lucky, eh?” 

“Well, yeah,” she laughs nervously, as though she didn’t mean to say what she said, “you’re a catch, Min Yoongi. Anyone would be lucky to have you.” 

He chuckles, that same breathy chuckle that seems to have an affect on women he meets. It comes across as careless, unwavering in his attempt to pull off his cool persona, yet it’s really just a ruse to hide the fact that he wants nothing more than to take this woman home and fall asleep with her between his arms. Yoongi meets her eyes momentarily, catching a shine in her shaking pupil. He drags his bottom lip between his teeth while his eyes drag to his assistants lips. They’re cherry red, stained with the remnants of his cherry sangria. He bets they’d taste amazing. 

Nodding, he speaks, “Would you feel lucky to have me?”

Her breath stutters as her eyes go wide. She seems to contemplate for a moment before she opens her mouth, “U- uhm, I’ll go get the bill.” 

Abruptly, she turns away and walks towards the front counter. Yoongi sighs, waiting for a moment before placing a 20 on the table and collecting both of their things. Multiple bags from various stores around the valley fill his arms and he quietly follows her back out into the street. 

In an almost unspoken decision, the two of them begin their trek back to the car and Yoongi drives them back into the mountains just as the sun is about to set. 

Though silent, Yoongi could tell his assistant was nervous. Her fingers fiddled in her lap while she stared out of the window into the dark wooded road. 

Perhaps he had been to abrupt. Perhaps he should have broke his interest to her a little slower. Or not at all. It probably would have been better for anyone if he didn’t say anything at all. 

~*~*~

His usual night routine began with a shower. Afterward, he brushed his teeth and blow dried his hair. Then, he turned on the bedside lamp and opened a book Namjoon had suggested to him ages ago. ‘The Unbearable Lightness of Being’ has become some sort of sick irony to him now. Minus the mistress, living awkwardly with a woman and not being able to leave quite yet was how he lived his life. 

It’s only been 2 days since he said anything to her, yet it felt like an eternity. There wasn’t anymore jokes, nor did he feel like he could speak to her as an equal. She called him Mr. Min, and it hurt. 

Suddenly, he hears a knock on his door frame. He glances up, and she stands in his doorway in her sleep wear. An oversized T-shirt and shorts that hid subtly beneath.

“Hello.” he greets, closing his book and setting it on the night stand. Sliding his glasses off his face, he turns his attention to her. She fiddles with the hem of her shirt, swallowing nervously. 

“When you asked if I would feel lucky to be with you, what did you mean?” 

Oh, so we’re getting right into it. 

Despite only being a couple years younger than Yoongi, she seemed nearly child-like as she asked the question. Her eyes stay glued to her feet while she sways gently. 

“Just that. Would you feel lucky to be with me?” 

She nearly scoffs, “What kind of a question is that?” 

Yoongi rolls his eyes, “Answer the question.” 

With a huff, she walks into the room and sits at the foot of Yoongi’s bed, “Of course I would be lucky to be with you, dumbass. You’re Min Yoongi.” 

“No,” Yoongi isn’t satisfied with that answer, “would you be satisfied with just being with Yoongi. Not Suga of BTS, not Agust D. Just... Yoongi.” 

She tilts her head adorably, her forehead creasing with concern, “That’s what I mean. You’re Yoongi, I’d be the luckiest girl in the world.” 

He smiles, crossing his legs and leaning forward, “That’s what sets you apart from other people. They don’t want just Yoongi. They want the identity I’ve created for the public.” 

“So that’s why you don’t want to date?” 

“I do,” he sighs, “I just want to with you.” 

She swallows, “Are you asking me out?” 

Yoongi shrugs, “If that’s what you want this to be, then yes.” 

As though the heavens had opened up and an angel had descended right in front of Yoongi, her face is bright with delight. She leans forward, crashing her lips onto Yoongi’s.

He’s quick to wrap his arms around her, bringing her as close to him as possible. Her frame fits against his perfectly, just as he had imagined so many times before. Yoongi feels his abdomen ignite with butterflies while her hands move to cup his cheeks. She rests her forehead gently against his, her breathing ragged. 

“Maybe this vacation wasn’t so bad.” Yoongi jokes, kissing each of her cheeks. 

Her eyes flutter close, “I’ve been telling you that from the beginning.” 

He grins, “I wanted you to prove it to me.” 

“Well, did I?” 

Yoongi doesn’t respond, he simply brings his lips back to hers. 

He gently lays her onto the bed, careful not to break the kiss. Her hands grip the back of his shirt as if he could disappear in her arms. It takes everything in him not to begin kissing down her neck, the last thing he wants is to scare her off. Yet, she encourages him. 

“I’m on the pill.” She whispers against his lips, and Yoongi grins. This was going to be a very fun night.

[viacursecasting]

A Blooming Mistake.

{ Read on AO3 }

Summary: Sonic is hiding his hybrid roses, meant for someone special, but Shadow's determined to uncover the truth...

In a way rivals know best.

~

Radiant light of the full moon streaked through the leafy embraces of forest branches, illuminating freckles upon the well-trodden path for the cobalt quilled hero. His buckled cherry shoes crunched upon dried foliage as he ambled toward his destination. Normally he would’ve utilized his renowned speed, but he was wary of disturbing any critters peacefully slumbering in their nests. Even so, as he heard the pitter-patter of startled animals, he cupped the corner of his lip with a gloved hand, whispering apologies into the darkness.

As he clutched a shovel in one hand and a basket of rose stems in the other, he continued onward through mossy trees and flowering bushes until he reached a clearing, grassy and kempt, overlooking the vast sea, which stretched across the horizon to kiss the distant mountains. The serenade of gentle waves lapping against the cliffside soothed his upright ears. A spring breeze combed through his quills. He inhaled deeply, the aromatic scent filling his nostrils, the air so briny he could practically taste its salt upon his tongue. Moonlight reflected divinely across the waves, a sparkle rivaled only by his toothy grin. No matter how many times he trekked here, it always felt like the first.

Refreshed from admiring the landscape, he then glanced at the bundle of stems in hand. This species was a unique hybrid, one that bloomed crimson petals with ebony splatters. The hedgehog recalled the laborious hours he poured into growing these for weeks on end—planting monochrome roses adjacently, watering them each day, breeding the resulting hybrids into super hybrids, not to mention the painstaking chore of pulling out weeds and debris by burying his knees in the dirt. If the buds successfully bloomed, he would take it as a sign to pursue his crush. Was all this effort going to be worth it?

More importantly, could he handle the answer?

As he set the woven basket down he simply… stared. At nothing in particular. Why he couldn’t bring himself to start the final stage of planting the crossbred stems, he didn’t know. He groaned, rubbing his temples as if just now realizing what a ridiculous idea this was.

What are you doing here?

He thought his inner voice was berating him until his ears perked at the unmistakable sound of a familiar, confident gait.

“I said, what are you doing here?”

He swore his heart raced faster than his feet ever have as he peered into the forest, searching for the source of the low voice. Then, as if materializing from the shadows, a jet black lifeform stepped into view, his rosy highlights complementing his fiery gaze.

“Shadow?” The royal blue hedgehog blinked repeatedly to make sure his emerald eyes weren’t playing tricks on him from lack of sleep.

Once he realized this was no illusion, Sonic discreetly held the shovel behind his quills, subtly adjusting his footing to hide the basket at his heels. But there was no fooling his dark counterpart, who analyzed his body language suspiciously.

Shadow crossed his arms. His cool and collected tone sent chills down Sonic’s spine. “Don’t toy with me, hedgehog. What are you hiding?”

“Nothing!” Sonic blurted. “What are you hiding?”

The agent rolled his carmine eyes at the feeble attempt to deflect the question. As he took several steps closer he glanced toward his rocket skates, feeling the ground get considerably flatter, devoid of twigs and stones. He observed, “This clearing appears to have been tended to.”

Sonic laughed nervously. “Nature at its finest, I guess.”

“Is that so?” Shadow humored him. The closer he got to his parallel, the softer the earth felt with every step. “I suppose nature also watered this specific plot despite having no rain all week?”

Sonic glimpsed skyward, feigning a motion as if he felt a raindrop despite the unassuming clouds. “It could start pouring any minute. We should head back—”

He stifled a breath as Shadow, nose to nose with Sonic, scrutinized him as if he could find the answer in his irises, green as a hill zone. Suddenly he reached around Sonic’s waist, fingers brushing against the underside of his back spikes.

Sonic’s muzzle reddened intensely. “Wait, what are you—?”

Shadow seized the digging tool from his rival’s grip. “Look what we have here.” He chided with a smirk, “Shame on you, hedgehog. Wrecking the beauty of nature so you can play buried treasure.”

“This isn’t a game!” Sonic cried. “Now give that back!”

Shadow kept his foe at bay with an extended arm against his chest. As Sonic clawed the air in an attempt to retrieve the shovel just out of reach, the agent spotted the basket of greenery at Sonic’s contrasting sneakers. Shadow halted, curiosity getting the better of him as his counterpart finally yanked the tool from his grasp.

But that was the least of Shadow’s worries.

Before he could get a closer look inside the rattan basket, a glowing streak of cyan made it disappear and then reappear a few feet away in Sonic’s grip.

Shadow glared at the speedster, at first with annoyance. Why would he hide a few measly plants? Then it dawned on him. Slowly his expression turned into one of horror, staring wide-eyed at the so-called hero.

But Sonic paid no mind as he refused to make eye contact, red with embarrassment. He could practically feel that scarlet gaze burning his azure fur. “Please, Shadow. Just go home.”

“Sonic.”

Shadow said it with such bleeding concern that his sapphire twin regarded him. Aghast, the ebony hedgehog paled as if he’d seen a ghost, troubling Sonic. “Stop looking at me like that, Shads. You’re scaring me.”

Shadow ignored the request. “Is that what I think it is?”

Sonic tightened his clammy grip on the wicker handle. “What do you think it is?”

Shadow’s hesitation was brief, as if his hypothesis would somehow become true if he voiced his suspicions. “Performance-enhancing drugs.”

Sonic laughed at the notion. He had never touched a drug let alone taken one. He wasn’t even sure he knew what one looked like. “Don’t be ridiculous—”

“That’s why you’ve been so secretive,” Shadow mulled distantly, rubbing his fingers under his chin as if he solved the case. “Either you plan on outperforming me, or you’ve been taking these to get on my level.”

Sonic’s expression twisted into one of confusion. “What? No! You’ve got it all wrong!”

Shadow remained skeptical, requiring proof. His eyes bore into his foe like daggers stained crimson. “Then hand it over,” he demanded, the golden power inhibitor on his wrist gleaming menacingly around his outstretched hand.

Sonic’s heart seized at the thought. His fingers clenched the woven handle so tightly he nearly bled. He swallowed before replying, “I can’t.”

Neither of them wavered. Not even the void’s icy breeze could make them flinch. Was that the wind or Sonic’s internal cry for help?

Then Shadow sighed, tightening his gloves as if foreseeing this outcome. “I had hoped it wouldn’t come to this.”

In a flash he leapt forward, trailing an amber aura in his wake. Sonic’s mind deconstructed the act in slow motion, perceiving Shadow’s feet leave the ground, his limbs curl into a ball, his attack home in on Sonic’s beating organ.

Sonic dropped his possessions, steeling himself to block the spindash with crossed arms, the force so powerful his heels dug trenches in the dirt. He grunted with the effort of holding Shadow off as the high-pitched rev of the spinball deafened his ears. It was like preventing a screeching tire from burning rubber on his vitals.

Seeing as this was getting him nowhere, Shadow performed a backflip, landing gracefully on his feet. “Hmph. I’m just warming up.”

Sonic chuckled, stretching his legs like a marathon runner in a show of confidence. “Sure thing, faker,” he emphasized, knowing this would warrant some aggression.

Shadow couldn’t help but clench his fist with ire, drawing his arm back before zooming forward with a punch.

The blue blur easily sidestepped to dodge but Shadow expected this, extending another blow at the last second, hitting his opponent square in the jaw.

Sonic reeled back, more out of shock than pain, rubbing the soreness away. Regardless, he found himself smiling. It wasn’t often he brawled someone who matched his abilities. After crushing laughable badniks for days on end, he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t itching for some excitement. “Lucky shot.”

“Calculated shot,” the agent corrected. “Are you as slow in the brain as you are with your feet?”

Sonic gasped dramatically, tossing the back of his hand to his forehead. “Alas! You have discovered my fatal flaw!” He bowed humbly. “Teach me, O Wise One.”

Just as Sonic was about to straighten, his opposer kneed him in the abdomen. He doubled over with a groan, sinking to his knees.

“Lesson one,” Shadow advised, “never let your guard down.”

In his kneeling position, Sonic took the opportunity to grab Shadow’s ankle and yank him to the dirt, knocking the wind out of him as he landed on his back. Shadow coughed, attempting to regain control of his lungs as Sonic loomed over him, boasting, “Lesson two, surpass the master.”

Shadow sprung to his feet. Meanwhile Sonic revved up into a concussive ball, billowing dust, and charged forward to knock over his contender like a bowling pin. But Shadow performed a handless frontflip like a gold-medal gymnast, easily dodging it.

“Chaos Spear!”

Upon hearing Shadow’s battle cry, Sonic serpentined throughout the clearing to avoid numerous bolts of energy the agent’s palms emitted. But no matter how quickly Shadow fired, Sonic managed to evade every shot by a hair.

At one point the blue blur skidded to a halt, and suddenly a glowing spear jutted out of a tree right before his face.

Sonic let out a nervous chuckle, grateful to still have a nose. “Someone’s getting antsy.”

He ducked in the nick of time to avoid a jet-boosted roundhouse kick to the head. Sonic then swept his leg to trip his assailant, but to no avail as Shadow leapt high into the air, backlit by the witnessing moon, before clasping his hands together to pummel Sonic into the ground.

CRUUUSH!

The hero narrowly somersaulted clear, shaking dirt from his quills. When he looked up to see the crater Shadow formed with his fists, his stomach churned. “Whoa, Shads, take it easy!”

Tired of this dance, the lifeform was tempted to execute a Chaos Blast right then and there, but instead he sneered, “Not until I get what I want.”

He dashed forward. His parallel instinctively did the same. However, a vine caught Sonic’s toe, hurtling him straight into Shadow. The hedgehogs were a mass of flailing punches and kicks, their limbs a blur as their tangled bodies rolled in the grass like a prickly tumbleweed.

Their careening stopped dead in its tracks as Shadow straddled Sonic, their panting faces inches apart, their arms wrestling for dominance with Shadow’s fists against Sonic’s palms.

Through grunts, Sonic tried to reason with him. “Okay, Shadow… hff… This was fun at first… hff… but now—” He cried out as his wrists bent at a dangerous angle.

“It was never a game, Sonic.” Using gravity to his advantage, Shadow pushed harder.

Pain shot through Sonic’s arms. “Shadow, stop!” he pleaded, his biceps nearly giving out. “It’s not what you think!”

Shadow snarled, his fangs gleaming like dual blades. “Don’t lie to me!”

Sonic’s muscles screamed. He didn’t remember his counterpart being this strong, didn’t understand where such passion was coming from. “Why are you so worked up?”

“I won’t let you destroy yourself!”

Shadow’s guttural cry echoed throughout the crisp air, followed by a chorus of flapping from retreating crows. Swallowing a lump in his throat, he almost wished Sonic would run away, too, as he shut his eyes tight to suppress his hot tears.

Witnessing such raw emotion made Sonic yield, letting Shadow pin his wrists to the dirt beside his spiky head. Though Sonic took shallow breaths, his peach torso still brushed against his rival’s ivory chest fur, soft and full, making his back spines prickle. “If it matters so much to you,” Sonic relented, “then you can take what’s in the basket.”

No sense of victory hailed Shadow as he sulked from revealing a shred of vulnerability. Instead a numbness washed over him like a waterfall. He crawled off the sapphire hedgehog, taking a few steps to retrieve what he thought was a performance-enhancing substance. But what he found was much more tame.

Perplexed, Shadow inspected a leafy stalk carefully. “These look like rose stems.”

As Sonic stood to brush grass off his quills, he could feel his face grow warm, resorting to sarcasm as a defense mechanism. “That’s because they are rose stems, genius.” He almost laughed. This was G.U.N.’s best agent?

It still didn’t add up. “Why were you hiding these from me?” When Sonic failed to answer, Shadow read his flustered face instead. “Are they intended for Amy?” Sonic shook his head. “Blaze?” Another shake. “Knuckles? You are aware he’s in love with a rock—”

“It’s you!” Sonic blurted, immediately slapping his palm over his mouth. He had to say something—he felt as if he were going to explode any second. But the regret was instant. He wanted to be cremated right then and there and have his ashes flung over the cliff into the depths of the sea below, dissolving into nothingness.

Shadow was taken aback but quickly composed himself, clearing his throat. “I see. Yellow roses?” he surmised, knowing that this flower hue symbolized a strong bond among friends.

“No,” Sonic replied, downcast. There was no point in lying anymore. “They’re a hybrid. Black for eternity and red for luh—! …Ove.”

That last word caught in his throat, so foreign on his tongue. Unconsciously he rambled, desperate for some sense of control again. “I thought that maybe once these bloomed, I’d have the courage to… ask you out.”

Shadow had difficulty masking his bewilderment. He opened his mouth as if to say something but failed to express a coherent thought, unable to recall the last time someone rendered him speechless.

Sonic rubbed the back of his neck, elaborating, “I know it’s stupid. Even though you get on my nerves, you also… get me, you know?” He reminisced over the moments they were forced to team up against a greater evil, racing side by side, occasionally stealing sidelong glances at each other.

Then images of the Finalhazard flashed in his mind, followed by the harrowing sight of Shadow plummeting to his supposed death. “When I thought I would never see you again, it made me realize I had taken you for granted.”

I should just stop talking, Sonic told himself. But his lips betrayed him. “Since then, I just couldn’t stop thinking about you.”

What are you doing? “I mean, look at your speed. Your strength. Everything about you screams danger.”

Shut. Up. “But instead of running away from you, why is my heart telling me—”

Shut up shut up shut up!

He growled, yelling over his thoughts, “—to run with you!?”

Sonic was practically on the verge of a cardiac arrest. His breath was short, his ears were numb. He felt as if an anchor pulled him by the pit of his chest to claim him as part of the earth’s core. He expected a witty comeback. A kick to the stomach. Anything! But what he got was worse. Shadow stared at Sonic as intently as a sniper through the lens of his scope. As pervasive as a bullet, what really killed Sonic was the silence.

Sonic shook his head to clear his mind. It was all so ridiculous, devoting so much time and effort and emotion to someone who couldn’t care less. “But it doesn’t matter.” He hastily gathered his belongings and began to head homeward. “Clearly you don’t feel the same way so let’s just move on and pretend none of this ever happened—”

“Wait.”

Sonic froze, feeling Shadow’s grip around the crook of his elbow. His heartbeat pounded so incessantly he thought his eardrums would burst. “Yeah?”

The crimson-eyed hedgehog averted his gaze, though Sonic thought he spotted a faint rosy tint across his tan muzzle. “It appears as though your sentiments mirror mine.”

Cogs slowly turned in Sonic’s mind, trying to process the confession. But then he laughed in denial. “Come on, Shads. You’re not serious.”

Shadow squeezed Sonic’s arm in affirmation, finally locking his ruby irises with his counterpart’s emeralds.

Fixated, Sonic read no hesitation, no amusement in that scorching gaze, straight as a gun barrel. That’s when he knew Shadow was indeed telling the truth.

It finally clicked. Then Sonic turned bright red, realizing just how close Shadow was standing, feeling his warm breath on his lips.

Shadow stroked Sonic’s cheek with the back of a curled finger, a touch that was extra gentle in case he miscalculated his own strength, before resting it under Sonic’s chin to slightly crane his neck. The agent found his blush quite endearing, and being its trigger was icing on the cake. They were in such close proximity that Shadow could breathe in his admirer’s scent, sweet as freshly cut grass. Shadow’s blood pumped so madly he thought Sonic could hear it. He briefly wondered if he would ever get used to the hero’s presence. Perhaps he would find out at a later date.

If so, it would be a date to die for.

With slowly lidding eyes, Shadow leaned in, parting his lips just as their muzzles were a quill’s breadth apart—

“Shadow, come in!” urged an electronic voice.

The hedgehogs jumped out of their trances. Shadow cursed under his breath, realizing the command came from his wrist communicator. He pressed a button as he spoke into it. “Yes, Rouge?”

“You’re supposed to report every hour so we know you’re safe while patrolling,” his bat coworker scolded.

Shadow grimaced. “I can take care of myself.”

“It’s just a precaution,” Rouge stated. “In any case, that cheery attitude of yours lets me know you’re fine. Bye~!” The call ended with a beep.

A forlorn sigh escaped Shadow’s lips, the moment officially tainted.

But with his ever-present smile, Sonic brushed off any disappointment he may have had. “You should get back to work.”

Shadow glared at the blue hedgehog, feigning annoyance. “This area is well within my jurisdiction, and I haven’t finished inspecting it,” he claimed, watching Sonic’s grin grow wider, so contagious he wore a hint of a smile himself. He then graciously took the shovel from Sonic’s grasp, walking toward the primed plot. “Come. I hate leaving a job unfinished.”

[shanzodragoness]

On the back of my previous post, I couldn't resist to help fill a gap in fics. Here I am.

Title: An Old Flame

Tags: a bit sad, fluff, but don't worry it gets better

Notes: you work for Stark, after taking the wrong turn you find yourself in the hands of the TVA and promptly pruned. Not saying much else as it'll spoil the fun

My sincerest apologies if this is substandard, this is my first reader fic and the first written in second person. This took me a while bc the feels were intense. Enjoy

Y/F/F - your favourite flower

Words: 1622

----

Your nexus event was confusing. The TVA claimed that you were fated to turn the other way when the Avengers returned to Stark Tower with their newest intergalactic villain. But for some reason you noticed the stare of those blue eyes from across the hall. You noted the muzzle; probably for a good reason. Curiosity carried your feet across the tiled floor and you heard footsteps behind you. 

Fast forward an undisclosed amount of time and you were in a court, one that seemed very biased without a juror in sight. You had cocked your head when the judge sentenced you to be reset, what could that possibly mean, could you amend your mistake and simply go back to retrace your steps but as they were meant to be?

It seemed that you weren't getting away with your so-called crime so easily as one of the minutemen approached you with a stick. It wasn't until it was twisted and whirred to life that you realised the gravity of the situation. Did it hurt? The sensation was akin to a quick shock as you saw your body begin to disappear from your stomach outward, the yellow energy dissolving your being.

Your head hurt, your body ached, the light stung your eyes as you attempted to flutter your eyes open. Your eyes fixated on a shadow that eventually gave way to a brightly clothed old man, looking like a costume for a child's birthday party. The two golden horns on his headdress bowed forward and curled back, a feature shared by three of the four beings before you. The old man extended a hand to you as your ears began to tune into the world.

"Y/N?" He asked. Your streetwise nature told you to run, that you didn’t know this man regardless if he knew your name or not. Instinct however, that told you that you could trust this man, that in the grand scheme of things that you knew him, that he'd protect you. 

You took his glove clad hand in yours, him pulling you to your feet. "We need to keep moving," he said, his gaze betraying a sadness as he locked his sight with yours.

The four began walking off, counting the pet alligator, and you followed them. In this strange world you doubted that you'd make it on your own anyway, "are you running from someone?" You asked the group. The older one turned his head to regard your query.

"Alioth hungers for the pruned variants that are dumped here by the TVA," he replied. There it was again, this time you could see regret spark his eyes. You'd have to ask later.

After a trek through the wasteland filled with junk from many different ages, you were presented with an open hatch in the ground, "after you," the kid said. You nodded and climbed down the ladder, taking in the large bunker you had entered. A few chairs dotted to one side facing a makeshift throne, many trinkets adorned the living area, souvenirs from the surface. As soon as the click of the hatch reached your ears your heart sank, that rational part of your brain considered that you could've been trapped here. Again, part of you calmed upon seeing the older man. 

The kid sat on the throne and seemed to be the leader of this strange place. The dark skinned man sat down first, the others following his lead, and so you sat on a free chair next to the old man. You felt safe. You focused on the chatter of the men

"So, after I vanquished Captain America and Iron Man, I claimed my prize, all six Infinity Stones," the dark skinned man said. The alligator growled from it's paddling pool.

"That's alligator for growling and saying "liar" at the same time," the old man translated.

"At least my nexus event wasn't eating the wrong neighbor's cat." And as soon as he'd offended the animal, the old man pried the alligator off the dark skinned man. They laughed and you cleared your throat.

"What are your names?" You asked, omitting introducing yourself as it had been established that they somehow knew your name. You saw the pain rise to the surface again in the old man's eyes, but it was quickly suppressed.

"I'm Loki, so are the others. We're variants of the same being, from different timelines," he explained. You nodded and took in the information. They drank wine and you even sipped a bit of the hearty red wine offered to you. Soon Alligator Loki closed his eyes and curled up in the pool, Boastful and Kid leaving to different sections of the bunker. The style of the old man's clothes looked very retro, and so the nickname in your mind materialised as Classic Loki. He was watching the last of his wine swirl in the goblet.

"What was your nexus event?" You asked. He looked up from his wine slowly and locked his eyes with yours. 

"In my timeline, everything proceeded correctly, my entire life, until Thanos attacked our ship.

"I cast a projection of myself so real, even the Mad Titan believed it. Then hid as inanimate debris. After I faked my death, I simply drifted in space. Away from Thor, away from everything. Thought about the universe and my place in it, and it occurred to me that everywhere I went, only pain followed. So I removed myself from the equation, landed on a remote planet and stayed there in isolation, in solitude for a long, long time.

"To tell you the truth, I missed my brother, and I wondered if he missed me, if anybody else did. But as soon as I took my first steps to getting off the planet, the TVA arrived."

"I'm sorry," you said, it seemed the most appropriate response.

"Don't be," he replied, his watchful gaze lingering on yours.

"Ever since I woke up, I felt scared, but something deep inside told me I was safe. Have we met before? I have a strange feeling that I know you from somewhere," the words came tumbling from your lips faster than you could stop the bumbling speech. You saw a smile grow on his face, and for the first time you saw that sadness turn into a glint of hope. 

"Y/N my dear, in my timeline I met you on Midgard, the realm you call Earth. My brother convinced me to wear some Midgardian clothes to fit in for a little sightseeing under his guard, the incident in New York made freedom that tiny bit beyond my reach. You were a beautiful maiden I met in the coffee shop Thor took us to. I found out you worked for Stark, and I spent the next few months courting you, as awkward as that was in a cell. Each time you checked on the prisoner I conjured you a gift, sometimes lavish jewellery that you joked that you'd not be able to hide from the others." He laughed as he recalled the memory. "When I was finally granted free roam of certain floors in the Tower I'd always make sure to conjure a vase of flowers on your desk every morning and find ways to see you. A year later we not so subtly decided to take the next step together. The exquisite diamond ring I placed on your finger whilst kneeling for my queen." 

You smiled at him, he spoke of you with a great fondness that it brought a tear to your eye. The man's joy was dampened once again.

"We never had the chance to become husband and wife, I brought you to Asgard, well, SHIELD sent you as a liaison officer. Ragnarok came. The ship. It was supposed to take you with the other refugees, Thanos had you killed first to demonstrate his threat to kill anyone who stood in his way to get the Tesseract. You know the rest of the story."

When you watched his reaction, he looked broken again, and you hated to see him so fragile after everything he'd told you. You stood up and looked down at the gap on the cushioned seat. He knew what you were asking, and so he shuffled to the side to allow you enough space to sit next to him. "Could you do me a favour?"

He looked down at you and a soft smile played on his lips. "Of course."

"Can you show me what the ring looked like?" You asked. His smile grew as his green seidr fluttered over your left hand and a flick of his fingers caused the seidr to swirl over your ring finger. When the magic subsided you saw the most intricately cut diamond you'd ever seen, the gold was woven at its base like flowers holding the stone in place. You didn't see the look of adoration that he gave you whilst you inspected the ring. When you turned you grinned at him. "I never thought that anyone would propose to me."

He moved his arm to hover over your shoulders, "may I?" He asked. You nodded and the adoration was back, he was unsure of himself even when you accepted him. His hold was firm yet gentle, showing how much he didn't want to let you go this time.

"Loki, I'd like to stay here with you. Maybe we can rebuild the life you remember we had."

"I will, dear Y/N. But before that," his green magic swirled between his barely clenched hand and formed a bunch of beautiful Y/F/F. "I must bestow my gifts upon you once more, every one, in the order that I gave them to you."

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