#ooc: I am being honest when I say at this point I may as well just stick with asks for my own blog.

[letsriddlemethislucifer]

[[ Should I stop posting open starters for my ocs at this point? It's just a small bummer realizing there are no real interactions on a bunch of them.]]

[gotham-daydreams]

Hi! I love your gothan platonic batfam series, but every time I read it I can't help but wonder what Duke's reaction to all this would be. He's one of my fave batfam characters, do you have any plans to add him in later chapters?

Just curious, no pressure. Hopefully I didn't come off as pushy. (sorry if i did)

Have a good day! <3

Hello! And you didn't come off as pushy, no worries :]

I'll be honest and admit that I have thought of adding Duke to the series- but if I was going to do that in a more organic manner, and just generally in a way that makes sense- that would've been in Chapter 2 or 3. Though trust me I am still debating... and the only reason I'm hesitating is because I don't think I'd be able to capture his personality, or really just him as a person very well.

Granted, I do inherently view yandere versions of characters as OOC for... various reasons (some of which are obvious, especially when it comes to the Batfam and DC characters in general), but I do try to keep very close to the character (or my general understanding and interpretation of them for things like DC, who have multiple canons and such) and write them in a way that does still compliment or adhere to parts of their personality or overall mindset... if only generally. Like Bruce and his closeness to those around them yet the distance he so desperately tries to keep - not for himself, but rather those around him. His strive for justice and to do good to make up for a sin, a fault that isn't his to forgive or one he hardly had anything to do with and so on. How that makes him inherently protective if only at a distance and in silence. How he tries to keep himself away from others, if only to protect them, and yet finds himself surrounded anyway. Etcetera etcetera.

Case and point- I don't have a really good graps of Duke's general character and aren't confident enough to write him into the Not Series at the moment- and by the time I do, it may feel shoehorned in and just not as great as it could be (even if a line I wrote in Chapter 1 was meant to be him..). Though I am learning more about him! And if anyone would like to share what they know and their interpretations of his character they have and such while I still have asks open, I'd love to read and see them :]

In future series', oneshots, and just general things I plan to post and share on this blog, Duke will very much make an appearance and we'll reach 10 yanderes for the Batfam instead of just 9. (Some series' which will definitely be longer than the Not Series.)

On that note, I have thought of how Duke would feel (and some others earlier on have asked a bit as well), and from the little I know of him, this is how I think at the moment he would generally react/feel (though it may be inaccurate and such because of what I mentioned previously 😅):

I think he would start out as one of the many others that actually live in the manor or just so happened to be there at the time — and that being he feels guilt first (unlike the only person in that house who doesn't/didn't) and just... wouldn't know what to do. The time passed and everything the reader has done sort of leaves him stumped, and just stuck processing until everyone's rushing out and around to find you and before he knows it- he's following out with them to do the exact same thing.

I think he leaves before everyone else, and considering that he does daytime patrol, it isn't as odd to see him out and about anyway. Though the frantic-ness of his movements and actions are weird, and for once, more outwardly, Duke panics.

He feels bad, of course he does, and more similarly to Cass- he can only wish that he could do things with out. That he wants to be in the room when you got your awards or had been there through the hardships he knows you undoubtedly faced without even having to see the medkit like Bruce does in Chapter 2. So he goes out to look for you, but not so much for your safety and more so to just... apologize. To say every little thing he can in hopes to make things better, to lessen the damage.

And of course, just to see you.

More than anything Duke wants to make it up to you right away, but has half a mind to know he'll have to take things slow. He's still sensible to some degree, if not only partially of half-insane just like the rest of the fam (minus a certain blonde and red head who are only a sliver of the way there), he knows it'll take time, that you probably won't forgive him right away. But that's okay! He can live with that, he understands that, but he just needs to see you. Just once- if only to see who you are now and the person you've become. If only to say an apology that might fall too flat or feel too empty considering the little he knows about you.

Just once. No matter how awkward it is or how much he regrets it later. Just once.

Though, despite that he is divided on bringing you home. It would be nice, sure, but by the time that discussion comes up he isn't sure that's the best idea. Even less so with how those that do want you home seem to want to go about it, and just generally the kind of people they are. Impulsive. Strong. Threatening- they'll scare you and do more damage then help ease tensions, and he doesn't want that to happen. You don't deserve that- even if he barely knows you. Duke can feel it, you don't. Even then, they help people out, not hurt them, not like they did with you.

Duke wants to spend time with you, but he's willing to do that outside of the manor if it means making you more comfortable and warm up to him a little more. As long as he sees you he can't complain...

So when Dick messes up, he's upset. Like everyone else besides Cassandra he doesn't know what happened but knows that something absolutely went wrong. Dick usually wasn't so obvious about things like that either, but with how hurt and just... broken he looks, they could all tell. Duke could tell.

Granted, he's not upset enough to change his mind, and if anything it definitely makes him more adamant about not bringing you home yet, but he can’t find it in himself to be fully against the idea, even then.

The one thing he wants to do after that, if anything, is more determined to make things right.

If Dick of all people couldn't make it up to you, then hell, maybe Duke can.

[pink-apollo]

Task force with S/O that have big breast please?

AHHHH. I saw this and got sooo excited😭 As a gal that has double Ds it can be such a pain. Buttons busting open, shirts tight in certain areas, just a struggle ;-; but they make wonderful pillows!

Wasn’t sure who you wanted so I added my main 3. If you want price and gaz let me know ^^ Also I am so sorry if Simon is very ooc, I’m trying to go with his current self and exactly pin point it which I find to be a little difficult😅

——————————————————————————

Task force with large chested S/O Headcanons

🎀Soap is a cheeky guy, we all know this. Of course he loves you for you! Not just looks! But at times he can’t but to just…stare. He knows it can be rude and weird, but when they’re right there in his face he can’t help it

🎀You could be mid conversation, babbling away at something you were talking about and John would be sitting there eyeing you up, tuning out what you were saying only to be met with your chest in his face as you looked at the man red from getting caught

🎀He means well, honest! But will try every chance he gets to grab them or lay on your chest because of how comfortable it is. A “perfect pillow” as he would say

🎀Purposely buys shirts that are rather a bit too tight for you. Although you may think it doesn’t look good, soap on the other hand is taking mental pictures to remember how you fit into the shirt

🎀Loves to feel you pressed up against him. Yes for the contact because he does enjoy it! But to also feel all of you and be a little more intimate

🎀In general loves to hold them. His thumb gentle rubbing your nipples to piss you off or to tease depending on the mood. But for the most part holds them, massaging them as he leans on your back , leaving trails of kisses along your shoulder to neck

🎀Is basically a child in a candy store

Ghost

🍁Simon is…well let’s say more sneaky than soap is when it comes to taking peaks. No, he doesn’t do it often, but if you just so happen to wear a shirt that fits just right and shows a bit of cleavage? He can’t help himself but to look, especially if he’s taller than you

🍁Although he does enjoy them, he’s more so focused on your other needs. Like if your back hurts or in general breasts are achey to to your hormones. He doesn’t mind whatsoever focusing on making you feel better before anything else happens. Your comfort comes first

🍁Notices every little detail when you move. Purposely walks behind or in front of you so he doesn’t glance down to see you walking with your chest slightly bouncing. Steps? Won’t say anything, but are his weakness when it comes to you. Thank god for the mask

🍁If you ask him to hold them he will. Might be a little unsure of how exactly to please you, again when it comes to physical things, Simon needs a little bit of guidance! He just wants to do right and to be sure you’re okay. But oddly enough finds it to be a stress reliever for himself

🍁Is very gentle with them in the beginning. Gives kisses all over before nibbling and leaving marks all over your chest. Caressing them with his hands, ever so softly pinching them to hear you sweak

🌹When it comes to you? This man looses all train of thought. With every step you take towards him, he can’t help but to look down. You know it’s his weakness and sometimes use it to your advantage, but other times simply oblivious to the fact that he was staring

🌹Alejandro tries his best to a gentleman, but can’t help but to glide his hands over your chest when alone sitting on his lap, squeezing them from pent up sexual tension that you caused

🌹Of course he always asks for permission regardless of how long you’ve been together. He just needs to know what kind of mood your in before he does

🌹Certainly loves when you straddle him and just hold him or perhaps ride him. Not only an amazing sight, but just being close to you is one of his many favorite things

🌹Lays on your chest very often! Just so squishy and comfortable to lay on! Has fallen asleep quite a few times on your chest, with his hand up your shirt on your breast. Could lay like that forever if you allowed him to do so

[skullvgirl]

a strange dream | barou

incl. barou 🎀 ( he would kill me )

warnings. completely sfw, fluff, school!au, fem reader, very much ooc, slow burn

an's. i missed him so much i had to revisit

BAROU probably hasnt got any interest in you before your relationship, not in a bad way but lets be honest—he's a soccer addict, he definitely wouldn't notice you until well, he did.

you're both sitting in math class (which did i mention had one hell of alot of students) and someone from the other side of the room asks to pass a note to you, rumor has it they've got a crush.

eventually the note ends up in the large hands of Barou Shouei and he's of course expected to pass it along to you but doesn't see anyone ahead of him expecting to receive it from him. he's confused—who the hell was yn ?

its his bad—he really wasnt to familiar with anything not soccer related.

he looked around, then finally decided to give the piece of paper back to the person he got it from—whoever that was.

you look at barou confused, so the paper was for you? you had originally gave it too him because you weren't sure if the people mumbling in the back of the classroom were really talking about you or not.

you opened your mouth to whisper-yell at him, but he wasn't paying attention to you anymore, his eyes trained on the teacher once again.

you uncrumpled the paper, trying to be as quiet as possible in the dead silence, but with no luck.

"yn?!"

shit

"yes miss?", you hid the paper under the desk, trying not to make eye contact with the 28 other students that had eyes on you.

"care to share with the class whats so important that you need to be passing notes in my class?"

fuck

reason #1 why you really hated this class, your math teacher was a fucking bitch.

'mean girl giggles' echoed throughout the room, barous eyes paying special attention to what you were about to do.

you dreaded the feeling of being forced to stand up in front of the entire class and read aloud whatever was written on the small note.

"get to it missy"

oh fuck off

you looked around the classroom trying to assess anyone who may have been distressed or embarrassed but with no luck, everyone seemed to be waiting on you.

weird...

"im serious yn. if you dont start reading in the next 10 seconds im going to—"

"no, no thats okay—i-im reading"

for whoever wrote me this, i am so sorry.

you cleared you throat in preparation for the humiliation you were about to face, curses be upon you miss peterson.

"hi, i think your really cute, we should go out sometime together, from..."

your heart stopped.

oh no this cant be right

"thats it."

"thats it?" the teacher probed, slowly making her way towards you.

"that it. i-it just says from your secret admirer after that nothing else".

your math teacher narrowed her eyes, looking closely at your expression—she didn't buy it.

dont breakeyecontactdont break eye contactdont breakeyecontactdontbreakeyecontactdontbreakeyecontact—

"really..."

"really!" you broke eye contact.

she pointed her nose upwards, probably as high as possible and began walking towards your desk.

"alright then i wanna see it, i need to have it confiscated"

"what?!, why?" oops you said that kinda loud. the class whom had previously lost interest when you finished reading turned back towards you and miss peterson now intrigued.

"well why not?! it was a distraction in class and now it needs to be taken away to make sure it wont be a distraction again...!"

but that doesn't make sense, if you care so much about us passing notes you should take our notebooks not the gosh dang note !

"but that doesn't make sense—" but you didn't get a chance to finish as the teacher viciously snatched the paper from you and spun around back towards her desk.

you sat down and burried your hands in your face, you couldn't watch this.

"oh this looks fun...says it's from barou shouei, not what i was expecting...not what i was expecting at all..."

fucking kill yourself, PLEASE

the class, which had previously been dormant erupted in a series of raging giggles and screams—shocked at the reveal of who the note was from.

a soccer player.

it was no secret in BLLK High that nobody—under any circumstance—was to mess with a soccer player. they had a bit of a reputation going on. even the nice ones.

" 'cuse me?" a commanding and masculine voice emerged from your left side and you turned as quickly as possible to the over 6 foot ( 182 cm ) tall man trying to explain yourself.

fuck, one day you were seriously gonna kill your math teacher.

"no, no no i promise it's not like that—i seriously don't know who made this i promise it wasn't from me and i know it wasn't from you—"

"you're yn ?" he cut you off smoothly, leaning back in his seat ever so slightly.

"huh?"

his knees were facing yours now. "you're yn right? been wondering who that was for the longest, guess i know now, cool."

"huh?"

okay now you were confused—about multiple things actually. #1, barou shouei, the man you'd been sitting next to for almost a full year now had yet to learn your name untill just now which is—gosh, just outrageous even for a soccer player

and #2 he wasn't toltally angry and going to kill you like everyone said he would have, should you make a fool of him?

no seriously someone explain what was happening.

you didnt get a chance to ponder on your thoughts much longer however, the bell rang loudly in your ear and soon everyone including yourself was making way for the door out the classroom.

what the fuck just happened, what the actual fuck just happened.

"heyy ! yn over here !" you didnt realize it but you apparently had auto-piloted your way all the way through lunch and was now being called over by people you've never talked to a day in your life—and you knew exactly what it would be about.

could this get any worse

you were about to find out. "yes...?" you asked, tray still in hand while you stood awakwardly by the trash can near the lunch table who called you over.

"soo—wait first sit down, we're friends we're friends, sit down first" one of the girls said, patting a seat next to herself eagerly.

you looked at the eyes on you and quickly made a decision to move.

there definitely here to ask me about him. it can't be that bad right? i think her name is ashley? i don't know maybe this'll be fun, maybe they'll be nice.

"so have you guys had sex?"

"what?! no—"

"have you guys even ever kissed yet?"

"no—"

"we used to talk you know", this one was from ashley, a pretty blonde haired girl who's blue eyes sparkled like marbles.

"really?"

she was attractive that for sure but and you could definitely see why some people would wanna date her but barou? not so much.

"really"

like in what world would some super macho super mysterious soccer guy get the hots for some popular pretty blonde girl? not to mention an obnoxious pretty blonde girl.

gosh i sound like a pick me right now, who knows maybe they really did talk

"didn't even know her name" barou said, cracking his neck from side to side.

"seriously man?" asked isagi, popping a fry in his mouth.

"dead serious"

this was the soccer table, a table where only the best of best players would sit for lunch, not that it was official or anything—but new students were warned not to go near The Table anyway.

"so you did ask yn to prom?"

"no bachira, i didn't ask her how many times to i have to say that, i barely know her anyways"

"untill today" kunigami confirmed.

"until today" barou repeated.

"would you though?" chigiri asked, he glanced over at your table—you were pretty that much was obvious but it was barou we're talking about, who knows what he thought of you.

"nah, couldn't."

"why not? shes not ugly" nagi questioned albeit a bit insensitively.

"shes not but..." he trailed off, stringing his eyes from nagi to you, she looks kinda...

"but what"

"i don't want her thinking we're dating after prom or somethin', gotta focus on the game."

"what if i did then, think she'd say yes?" it was reo speaking now who was now also looking at your table.

"nah, your uncanny resemblance to a donkey might turn her off"

The Table laughed as reo scowled at the other players, he didnt find it very funny.

"shut the fuck up shouei, i didn't hear her accepting your undying love now did i?"

"thats because i never really asked her dipshit"

"your point! still better than knowing your rejected as a default"

"is it though?" barou was almost smiling at the purple headed boy.

"oh really? watch me"

the table made boyish "ooo"-ing sounds and reo stood up confidently.

shouts erupted from the table, causing the whole cafeteria to turn towards the players, they payed them no mind however, only staring intently at where reo was walking.

"look, look, look! one if them is coming over here right now!"

"really?!"

you whipped your head around towards where the whole cafeteria's attention had been directed.

nononon, this cannot be happening. you seriously did not need another soccer players thinking you were some freak weirdo because someone else wanted to be messy!

"thats reo, he's super fucking rich, i heard he has a whole two backyards !"

"and an a theater room!"

great, and it was a rich snob kid too.

"does yn sit here?"

your table said nothing, even the loud ashley kept quiet while he was talking. everyones heads turned to you, waiting expectantly for you to say something.

"yeah thats me..." you said meekley.

reo smiled and curled his finger towards himself a few times, asking you to come to him.

this is so awakward

you stood up silently and walked over to where reo was. he didn't stop directing him towards you until you were standing right up against him, close enough to where he could grab your jaw and yank your ear towards his mouth.

"you're hot, go out with me"

your eyes bludged, and your heart accelerated way more than it should have. that was NOT what you were expecting.

reo let go of your face, his hands were in his pockets as he waited for your answer, he looked confident tou would say yes. and most people would, but this was a soccer player we were talking about—and this one specifically was known for being super rich, super smart and a super hoe. three things you couldn't be bothered to even try giving a chance with.

you glanced behind him trying to peer at the damage that had been done.

holy shit the whole fuking cafeteria is looking

"so?"

you were snapped back into reality as reo looked at you, still waiting for an answer. it was pretty obvious what you were going to say.

"no. im sorry but no, i hardly know you and you're really not my type, sorry."

your table made all types of noises as they watched the now humiliated boy bite a scowl and walk back too his table.

you quickly sat back down and watched as The Table made fun of reo's rejection. all the players were laughing but you were only looking at one.

"said i wasn't her type". The Table erupted in laughter, all the players except reo cackling like animals.

"fucking told you so, at least get to know the girl before you start trying to hit on her" isagi joked, slapping reo on the back repeatedly.

"no for real, dont know what made you think she would fall for you in a day, not all girls are so easy you know" kunigami shook his head.

"what did you say too her anyways?" nagi asked now curious as to what got him such a harsh rejection anyways.

"didn't say nothing, js asked her if she wanted to go out, said no, that's it." reo reiterated bitterly.

"knowing him it was probably something like 'youre hot, lets go out'" barou said offhandedly, distracted by the feeling of eyes on him.

"you could hear?" reo asked, now confused.

The Table went silent for a moment and isagi burst out laughing when he realized what reo had just said.

"so you did really say that?!"

the emmbarassment for reo only cotinued further but barou wasn't paying attention to that. the eyes from before were still on him.

it was you.

cute...

BAROU isnt really much of a romantic either, he hasn't got the headspace for it like he does for soccer, so of course—he's not seeking the love. the love is seeking him.

1 week later

you sat quietly in the school library studying like a madman for finals, it was just near the end of the school year and you were determined to get good marks on all of the subjects.

the library was the most perfect and quiet place to relax and work at the same time—without any distractions or problems to bother you from your job.

"excuse me?"

you glanced up to where the voice was coming from and your heart felt like it was going to explode.

it was none other than barou shouei in the flesh.

a whole week, a whole week you had managed to somewhat avoid his presence and pretty much ignore him during math ( your teacher denied you request to switch spots ) it was going fine untill—well, now.

"can i borrow your computer charger? mine just died and a left mine at home"

that was it?

you didn't really know what to expect from the man though. he was known to be pretty brutal on tbe field maybe you were assuming he'd be the same in real life.

although i guess i shouldn't think that considering how chill he was over the fake confession and all of that...

"oh yeah sure, I uh can let your borrow it no problem"

"thanks"

barou took your charger without another word and walked back over too his seat.

the racing in your heart was begining to subside, that wasn't so bad...

you shifted to get comfortable in your seat and began studying once again, right now where was i...

"excuse me?"

and just as you were getting comfortable. barou shoei again.

"yes?"

"sorry im back so soon but, could i sit here for a little bit. the outlet by my table isnt working for some reason" he said it in a polite tone but seemed eager for an answer, he was probably in a rush to get as much study time in before practice like most athletes were.

he really isnt as scary as i thought he'd be...

"yeah of course that's fine, it's better this way anyway, wont forget you had it in the first place ya know" you smiled moving your belongings over to make room for his.

"thanks"

barou set his things down and soon enough a static silence ensued over the both of you, not that you minded though. you still needed to get work done and it was better he wasn't attempting to make conversation with you. it is a bit awkward though...

"you color coded your pens"

the voice that emmited from the other side of the table almost made you forget who was there.

"i did, why?"

"nice, i did too"

barou didnt wait for an answer, but instead pulled out a all black pencil pouch to reveal all seven colors of the rainbow line up in order.

jeez, i just think it looks cool, his has all the pen hooks facing up too, ocd much?

that wasn't the main point though, what was more important was his sticker—on thst rested sturdy on his bag. "you watch graves anatomy too?"

he looked surprised when you mentioned the show, and nodded his head appropriately. "yeah, and im all caught up too, all 22 seasons and counting."

"holy hell, im only on season 12 how to even time for that—aren't you always having games and stuff, scince your on varsity and all..."

barou quirked an eyebrow, "mm you know your stuff—i make it work"

now it was your turn to make a face "you make it work...really, its that easy?"

no. the absurbant amount of school work i have is fucking killing me right now plus i've got sisters too take care of so no, it's definitely not easy

thats not what he said though.

"yup, real easy." he nodded his head and although you didn't buy it, it was hardly your place to nag. he didn't seem like someone you should nag.

"uh huh.." you shook your head up and down slow and repeatedly, "for sure, for sure"

"what you don't believe me?" barou moved his chair closer to yours, so close in fact you think your knees were touching, his arms bulged as he rested his hands on his head ; it was hot nice seeing him in a position that wasn't so straight .

"no i do, you seem really responsible im sure you're great at 'making it work' " you put a thumbs up.

gosh, could you be anymore awakward...

"oh im responsible ? you would know that im responsible?" barou questioned, leaning even closer on his arms towards you.

is he...flirting with me?

you laughed and covered your mouth with your hand leaning slightly away as he got closer.

"i mean yeah" you paused to swipe away the nonexistent dust from your eyes, you just couldn't hold the eye contact.

come on, dont get shy now yn.

"people talk, i guess."

"do they?"

"they do" you nodded your head firmly up and down, since it was the only thing you were sure you could do at the moment.

"mh"

mmh?!? the fuck does that mean ??

"so yn i wanna ask you a question" barou leaned back as he said this, finally returning to his normal position.

holy shit my heart was beating so fast, somebody get me on a stretcher and to the hospital NEOW, i am about to blow!

"yeah?"

barou stayed silent for a few moments, thinking deeply about what he was going to say.

"hypothetically..." he paused, staring directly at you.

"hypothetically..." you confirmed.

"hypothetically if someone, other than reo from the soccer team—just as an example lets say...yoichi ! remember hypothetically speaking—asked you out on a date what would your answer be?"

huh?

"what kind of question is that?"

"a hypothetical one" he said matter of factly.

"a hypothetical one, right, well if—hypothetically of course—i was asked out by isagi, om a date that is...i don't know...yeah? I guess i'd day yes?"

"really, you would?" he looked surprised and you suddenly felt alarmed, was that a bad thing or something??

"yeah? i mean no, not really—maybe not if he asked the way your friend did..."

"mhm"

??? again, what does that mean?

A moment of silence passed between the two of you and you tried and failed at going back to the work you were supposed to be doing in the first place.

"what about chigiri?" he said suddenly.

"chigiri? what do you me—"

"chigiri. pretty, has red hair, plays on varsity and is super fast? chigiri. would you say yes too him?"

"i mean, maybe, yeah he's definitely not ugly and i guess if i knew him well enough I would probably say yes—why are you asking me this?"

barou said nothing and suddenly, the strangest thing began to happen—he looked at you smiling—a large, uncanny smile resembling a creepypasta monster formed from on his face, your heart began to beat but for the wrong reasons.

"wake up yn" it was definitely barou's voice but it sounded far.

"huh?" you couldn't move, and you now realize you probably couldn't move for a while.

what...is happening...

"wake. up."

your head shot up from your arms, ans you looked around disorientedly.

oh...

up untill about the last 30 seconds you were a bit disappointed it had to end. your dream that is.

"yn", a voice—much deeper than you recall im your fantasies spoke out to you as you felt a tap on your shoulder.

it was barou. the real barou.

"i baroued your charged?" he said holding it out towards you. (an's. IM HALARIOUS LAMOSJKWIS)

"oh. right sorry, thanks." you took the cord from him. but he didn't leave, still looming over you in his tall stature he spoke again.

"uh, you got a little.." he pointed to the corner of his lip, scratching at it in expectation for you to do the same.

you did, softly at first, not really sure what is it he was implying but quickly realized what he meant after you felt a crusty dry substance still left from your unconscious.

oh..

oh !

"ive got drool on my face haven't i" he nodded his head, and you swore you saw grin appear on his face—a real one but he turned and walked away before you could make confirm.

"thanks for the charger yn, see ya later"

his back was facing you now, slowly getting smaller and smaller at he walked away from you.

seriously ! could i be anyless embarrassing for even a second!

im afraid not yn.

because according to barou, he thinks your little moments of embarrassment and humiliation were pretty damn cute.

BAROU is never scared. he hardly ever get worried, he's king and one of the best players in his school, he's top of his class always and struggles—never. so why? why was it now, over some so trivial that he was all thoes things he never gets all at once?

1 week later, in the classroom.

barou felt weird.

the truth is, he didnt need a partner for the social studies project. his teacher was allowing groups of two or singles all the same. his reasoning behind why he wanted a partner is what was scaring him.

after almost an entire year, barou realized that you not only were in his math class, but his social studies as well. and his history, and biology—even his orchestra ( he plays cello in case you were wondering ).

he realized that you were everywhere.

barou, for the first time was recognizing someome else, not on the team, not an adult, but a girl, he was acknowledging a girl, as more than nothing.

it was weird.

"yn."

you peered up at him, wide-eyed and adorable. "work with me on the project"

your eyes, (e/c) and beautiful, got impossibly larger.

"yeah—uh—sure we can"

he gave a thumbs up, and went back to his seat.

what am i doing?

"i dont know, maybe we can exchange numbers instead?"

"yeah thats better, since im hardly on social media anyways"

even though you've got so many followers..

"alright cool"

you and barou were in the library, again. instead of dreaming about his muscles however, you were watching them in real time move for your phone and yours the same.

there wasnt mych said after that, only short words to communicate what part of the project you both were supposed to work on, untill...

"yn?"

"yes" and once again, you were looking at him, wife eyed and adorable.

"i've got a question to ask you"

no way, did i fall asleep again?

you sucked in a breath, and pinched your cheeks, not paying any attention to the words that might come out of his mouth.

"ow!" nope, you were definitely awake.

barou raised an eyebrow and couldn't hold himself in. he burst out laughing and you we're glad the library waw empty, because in all his seriousness—barou's laugh was loud. like the sort of thing you'd been holding in for a while.

"what yn, afraid you're gonna fall asleep again?"

your cheeks heated up an intense amount.

"no..."

"you're funny you know, really funny"

"huh?!" you squeaked, shifting all over in your chair. "what does that mean"

barou leaned in close to your face, so close that your noses were touching.

"it means..." he tilted hid head sidewards, waiting for your permission.

"i think you're the stupidest most adorable person to exist..." you didn't move away.

and like a shock, barous lips were on yours so softly it made it feel very much like a dream, but it wasn't.

an's. i know this is not himmm, he wouldn't even look at you after a supposed fake letter i knooow, i couldn't think of a better way to force it ( i was lazy ) and he's cute let me live.

an's. i rushed the end i knoww, leave me alone. i like writing for personal enjoyment shhhhhh.

[henrywintersdearestgirl]

Si vis amari, ama

The first writing is here. Excuse me if I had made any mistakes, english is not my first language.

You may think that Henry is ooc here, but we never knew what went on in his head...

I hope that you will enjoy my writing!

xoxo, Rosemary

warnings: none, we are just getting warmed up, doves:)

Henry’s point of view

I was on my way to the Lycée as usual, nothing seemed out of order that day, it was just like any other days I’ve lived, before her. I arrived at Julian’s office and I’ve let myself in, Everyone except the twins were already there, sitting and sipping their tea. When  they heard the door close, they snapped out of the conversation I interrupted and looked up at me from their seats.

“Well, nice of you to join us.” said Francis first. Then they all stood up and greeted me as I greeted them. Now with me in the group, we made our way back to the seats in the office, I sat in my usual leather armchair. I reached for my tea and I noticed one more on the table. Why one? If we were waiting on the twins, there would be two extra teacups on the table. So, why one? Maybe one of them is sick, I thought.

“The twins are not in town.” Julian interrupted my train of curious thoughts on the twins lack of presence and the extra tea cup. “Their grandmother got some cold and they hopped right on the train, so we won’t be expecting them today and probably a few days.” Julian stood up and checked the time on his watch, then he went to the door and looked out the hallway. I thought I heard him mutter something under his breath, I just didn’t heard what, I found his behavior rather strange. I looked over the others and I was met with three confused expressions, they looked at me as if I knew what was going on. 

“What is going on? Why is he acting like this?” Bunny and Richard mouthed these questions at me, I just shrugged my shoulders. If I was completely honest, it rather bothered me that I didn’t know what was the case in today’s class, what I knew is that I felt something, but for the life of me I couldn’t say if it was a good or bad feeling. But as I almost got into another thought cycle, Julian stood in front of us and began speaking,

“I suppose you want answers, why am I looking rather impatient?” he looked in our eyes with his usual warm expression. “I have an announcement to make, one that is quite rare,” 

“Should we be scared? I don’t know about you guys, but I have an awful gut feeling about this.” said Bunny with his eyes wider than usual.

“You are being a drama queen as usual, dear Bunny.” snickered Francis in response.

“Who says, cher Francois?” Bunny answered with a fake offence in his expression, Francis just stuck his tongue out and turned back to our professor.

Julian looked at me and Richard like a father who is finding amusement in his kids bickering, and we were kind of like his kids. 

“Calm your horses, children. If you skipped the joking, you would have already known what I’m about to say,” of course, they got quiet and they put all their attention on Julian. I was on the edge, I so badly wanted to know what he had to say. “Now that I have all your attention, let me make the announcement that I’ve grown quite fond of and I am sure that you will too.” he paused for the dramatic pause. “A new pupil will be joining our small circle!” we just stared in front of us, letting the new information sink in our minds. A new student in the greek class? Again? I always had a hard time getting used to new people around me, and after Richard I didn’t wish to do it again for a while, but as it seems Julian had different plans against my favour. With Richard we got lucky, everyone in our small circle liked him and he fit right in, but maybe luck will not be on our side this time.

“Again? Julian, I believe you are slowly letting every idiot in this class?” said Bunny, offended. Then he paused and looked at Richard, “no offense, old chap,”

“None taken.” said Richard, he tried not to look hurt and he managed to trick Bunny, but Francis and I noticed. While I shot Bunny a belittling glance, Francis caressed his sides in a comforting manner and the hurting look in Richard’s eyes went away in an instant.

“That is quite short-minded of you, Edmund” Julian shook his head as he said “Believe me when I say that our new student is brilliant and charming.” we sat in silence for a few moments, and while I wasn’t exactly thrilled at the thought of getting used to a new person, I was curious about the brilliance and the charm Julian mentioned. 

“What’s his name?” asked Richard after a little while. The second he finished the sentence there was a knock on the door, which caused all of us to snap our heads in the direction  of the door.

“Very well then,” Julian smiled suddenly and made his way to the door, just as he put his hands on the door handle he said “why don’t you ask that from her?” and he opened a door just a little bit and began talking to the person in front of the door. While I was focused on the door and the person behind it, I heard the others talking in shushed voices. “Her? Another girl? I could hardly tolerate Camilla, but another one? This is straight up bullshit!” At that I turned my head in his direction and what I saw was a very annoyed Bunny, how childish.

“What is wrong with Camilla? Don’t be like that, Bun.” Francis immediately slightly raised his voice a bit. 

“Am I hearing that you are questioning Julian’s opinion? And you are already against her and hating her just because she is a girl? Misogyny is one of the stupidest things to exist and yet, you are the first in line for it the second your fragile pride realizes that she is could be smarter than you.” Bunny furrowed his brows in confusion at first, but only for a second. Then he almost said something back at me if Francis didn’t interrupt him. “Henry’s right, Bun. We should meet her first and then we can form an opinion about her.”  “Guys– I think we’re about to meet her!” Richard said in a fast sentence and he was looking in the direction of the door, the second I turned my head to do the same, the door opened. Julian opened the door fully and beauty on earth herself, in a short skirt and a dark blue sweater, walked in. She was goddess like, everything about her. From her head of long and full curls, to the long legs that carried her in the most graceful way I’ve ever seen. Her gaze wandered to me first, and it made my breath stop in my throat. Those eyes sucked me in, those eyes that were the most prettiest shades. Is this what they describe in the books? When Julian put his palms on her shoulder and began speaking again she tore her gaze away from my eyes. It made me want to walk over to her and hold her face in one place so she can’t deny those eyes from me. Julian made her stand in front of all of us, I looked over to the others to see if they saw the same thing I did, and they did. They were all looking at her as if she was the most exotic thing in this land, and maybe she was. I found Bunny’s expression rather funny, he was just hating at the mention of her and now he was shamelessly staring at her with an open mouth. Julian put her in a spot where the sun was shining, now she looked like she just stepped right out of a fairytale, her pale skin was shining in the sunlight, and so did her hair and eyes, with the slight blush of her cheeks she really looked like an angel on earth. I almost jumped when Julian began speaking again. “Everyone, meet our Aphrodite!” at that she, let out a light giggle and her sweet sweet voice went straight to my heart. And when she began talking I almost melted, as if I wasn’t myself in that moment.

“Well thank you Julian,” she looked at him and flashed a charming and warm smile to him. “But, no one is as beautiful as Aphrodite, she is not just beautiful, but she is beauty herself. Whatever is beauty, she is exactly that.” Julian seemed surprised that she corrected him, but then he smiled, because he knew that she was right. Right she was, just knowing that she is willing to correct someone even if they are complementing her impressed me. And I always believed that it was hard to impress me, but she already did it with the fist sentence I heard her speak. I drank every word she said, and I still craved more.

“Very well, my dear. Already correcting the teacher, very brave. I can tell you will fit right in.” that made her smile shyly. “Why don’t you sit down and tell us about yourself? We already have tea prepared for you.” he guided her to the seat that was facing mine, and then he sat down on a seat himself. “Because the lack of our beloved twins and our new addition I decided that we just talk today.” he looked around. Francis, Richard and Bunny let out a relieved sigh in unison. Normally, I would have been mad that we talked about anything that’s not greek or latin, but I wanted to hear her speak more. It almost didn’t matter what she would talk about, I just wanted to hear more of that sweet skylark voice, but I also needed to know more about her. Who was I in that moment?

“Thank you, this is a very warm welcome you are giving me.” she took a sip of her tea and I believe she was smiling at Francis, who was almost as fascinated with her as I was. She introduced herself, her name matched her, she had an accent I believe, she didn’t pronounce her name like we would have.

“Well, Y/N. “Julian responded before anyone else could, “these are my boys,” he introduced us to her,but when he saw our inability to talk, he did it himself. “That red haired fellow is Francis Abernathy, also our new addition Richard Papen, Edmund Corcoran also known as ‘Bunny’ and the brilliant Henry Winter.” she followed us with her gaze as Julian introduced us one by one and she gave us all a small smile, Francis made a face and winked at her. That made her smile widely with her teeth, I wanted to make her smile like that. Too bad, I don’t know how to make people laugh out loud. Until now that didn’t bothered me, it still doesn’t if I’m talking about anyone else, but her. “Are you american?” asked Bunny “I mean, obviously you’re not, so like, where are you from?” she sat back a bit and crossed her legs, for a second I saw the lacy top of her black thights and it made my breath hitch in my throat, and that caused me to clear my throat. A bit louder than I anticipated so now all eyes shot to me. I just reached for my tea and took a long sip. I put the teacup back in it’s original place on the table and I lifted my chin towards her, signalling that she can continue. It seemed that it was hard for her to tear her gaze away from mine, she zoned out for a mere second while looking deeply into my eyes through my glasses. Now that she quite close from me I could see the shade of her eyes, and I have never seen a pair of eyes so confusing. They had shades of dark green, the darkest of blues and gray. But they were none of the above, and when I realized that, I knew that those eyes we’re going to follow me anywhere I go.

“No, I am definitely not from america, I’m from europe. A little bit from everywhere. The blood of my family is very colorful, so I don’t tie myself down to one nationality.” she reached for her tea and took small sips as she let the information she just gave us sink in. “It may sound like that, but if I’m honest I didn’t see much of the world.”

We talked for a while, which wasn’t much because Bunny and Richard had to go, but not a second of it was awkward. She had quite the talent to fill up the silence, without sounding boring or anything of the sort. Bunny had a dentists appointment and, of course, he is too much of a child to go on his own, so he found someone to drag to the other side of town and in this case Richard was the victim. Me and Francis bid our goodbyes and left, except Francis gave her a big hug. I just stood by the door and gave her a small nod, barely a smile. She needed to stay in  the office for a bit, so Julian could give her everything we did in the past classes, because when she arrived in Hampden it was well into the semester. Strange. 

Me and Francis stood in front of the building and lit a cigarette, and stood in silence for a little while. It was nearing the end of autumn, but the leaves were too stubborn to leave the trees. Now that I was thinking about it, the color of the dark leaves matched her hair. She was like a mother or a child of autumn. I turned my head in Francis’s direction, and just as I expected he was already looking at me. What I didn’t expect was a sly smirk on his face, he smiled at me like he knew something that I didn’t, and maybe he did.

“Yes, Francis? Is there anything you would like to say?” I spoke when I realized that he was waiting for me to speak up first.

“Oh, it is nothing.” his grin became wider, but he was trying so hard to hide it. “So, how do you like Hampden’s Aphrodite?” he needed to bite down on his lips, so he wouldn’t burst out laughing. I knew what he was indicating, he noticed my mesmerization with her, but I was too stubborn to let him hear what he wanted, which was close to impossible, it was Francis after all.

“She seems intelligent, and the way she talks shows that she knows a lot of things.” I kept my answer casual, but Francis had other plans. 

“And she is very pretty, no?” he nudged my elbows with his, I shot him a cold look. But there was no denying, he knew that her beauty made a nest in my mind. “I am messing with you, I know you are too proud to admit that Henry Winter actually has a soul and he might have a small crush.” he looked like he was so proud of himself, proud that the second I let my emotions show - even if for a second - he could see them loud and clear. “Let me tell you something, I know that we have our differences in romantic interests, but I am most definitely not blind. That girl right in there is someone special, not just because of her beauty, but she is charming and she seems like she has a smart mind.” he was looking almost too deeply into my eyes. “What I am saying may be absolutely worthless to you, but I would not let my pride keep me away from that girl, a girl like her comes once in a lifetime. Do whatever you will with that information.” he patted me on the shoulders after he finished his dramatic speech. What bothered me the most was the fact that he was not saying nonsense.

“Her eyes are so confusing.” that was all I said, and for him it was enough. “I know, that’s what Camilla said and I noticed it myself. Those eyes match her.” we continued our conversation as if Francis never said his monologue about her and I. 

“Camilla knows her?” I realized a second later that Camilla already met her somehow. “When her and Charles were on their way to the train station, they stopped here on the way and Camilla ran up to Julian’s office to tell him about their situation. And she was there, they talked for a few minutes and Milly said that they were getting along really well and that she enjoyed their small talk.” said Francis. “Actually, I was thinking of inviting her over to the country house, what do you think?”

“It is perfectly fine by me,--” I looked behind Francis and there she was. She was a bit far away from us, and she didn’t notice our presence. Francis must have noticed the sudden stopping in my speech so he followed my gaze, when he realized what, or more like who I was looking at, we both got quiet. We just spectated her from afar as if any sudden movement would cause her to get away from our gazes, like a deer. She was now bundled up in an overcoat with a silk scarf and gloves, the wind lightly caressed her hair, as if it was trying to be gentle not to hurt her in anyway. She dug up a pack of cigarettes and lit one. As she stood there, looking up to the dark clouds in the sky and blowing out the tobacco out of those lips, I knew that I was going to take up on Francis’s advice. As if I wouldn’t have done that otherwise.

“Si vis amari, ama. (“If you want to be loved, love), said Francis out of the blue. He put out his cigarette, smiled at me and walked away.

I looked back at her, I couldn’t help the corners of my lips turning upwards and I murmured under my breath, to myself.

“Si vis amari, ama.”

[demonsfate]

munday topics ! // accepting // @electricea asked . . . 6, 7 and 8

6. excessive ooc

Honestly... for the MOOOST part, I don't care about "excessive ooc". even though I tend to worry that I post too much ooc LOL. yes, ppl can have "personal blogs" to post ooc stuff to but like. I just understand that behind the muses, there is a real person with real feelings who might wanna share lil details of their lives. Especially when they have more followers on their rp blogs who are more likely to listen & respond than their personal blog does.

There are a couple scenarios where I will draw the line. That being if there is just no in character content. Like they've been logging on every day for weeks just to make several ooc posts and nothing more. Then I may unfollow just because, at that point, I question if I'll ever be able to actually write with them because they're not giving any ic stuff lol. Or when like they just SPAM the dash with reblogs that have NOTHING to do with their muses. I'm not saying musings or aesthetics posts - because those still pertain to the muse. I'm saying when they reblog stuff from other fandoms that have zilch to do with their blog. For example, it'd be like if I were to start reblogging lots of Death Note, lots of Supernatural, and lots of Bluey despite the fact that my blog is Tekken lol. Now that I find annoying bc I'm wondering really WHY can't you use a personal for that? Of course, ppl are always free to do what they want with their blogs - but that's one thing I don't get.

7. DNIs in rules

I'm like what you were saying, I will follow them if it's somebody I know I'm not gonna end up writing with anyone due to different fandoms or having never followed each other. Or if like, they have concrete proof that this person is to be avoided. But liiiiike... when ppl just drop a username in a DNI and has no other available information... I just can't help but wonder if that person did anything or if it was a personal spat between the two muns. Especially because I've been a personal "victim" of ppl telling their mutuals to not interact with me, that I should just delete, and saying just horrible untrue garbage about me. All because I wrote with sb they didn't like. (Though they were also infamous about pretending to be somebody's friend, then dropping them and suddenly acting like they're the Worst Person Ever with no actual evidence)

I understand if muns wanna set boundaries even if they simply don't like the other person, or they had a personal drift or whatever. But like... I'm gonna be honest, there are def ppl in the RPC that I don't care to see on my dashboard. But I don't think I'll ever have a DNI. I just use X-Kit, X-Kit Rewritten, and the Tumblr block feature to avoid them. Which yes, sometimes they might still "slip through" but like... if I just see them once in a blue moon, it's not gonna matter much to me. And this even applied to those who bullied me as I mentioned above.

So yeah, I do try to follow DNIs if it's one of my mutual, but I do often question the validity (sorry but with the past, I can't help but to) and well... I also have to apologize if I end up writing with sb in a "DNI" because I swear it feels like more and more ppl are having DNI lists now and it's like... when you're following nearly 200 people, it's probs hard to remember who's in a DNI and who's not, y'know? But like I also said, usually those in DNI lists tend to be in different fandoms than I am, anyway.

8. reblog karma

I don't follow it. I mean, of course, I'll always reblog posts from the source & send people in one (WHEN it's applicable. Obvs I'm not gonna send a smut / ship meme to somebody who my muse has no relation with) But like... people rarely follow reblog karma so I just see little point in enforcing it lol. Like even IF somebody does reblog from the source, you can always tell they reblogged it from you without sending you one. And honestly? I don't get wtf people even do that for when it comes to munday asks or headcanon asks. Like why? There is literally zero excuse for it. Shy? Send it through anon. It doesn't fit your character? It doesn't have to because it's just asking my character / or the mun a question. Like literally. That shit actually annoys me but again. What can you do? I'm not gonna demand ppl ... but I still never understand it.

And I understand some ppl say it clogs up the activity if it's reblogged straight from them. But honestly... I've just never had that problem before lmao. Like I've had personal blogs reblog memes I've made and those memes can get up to 20+ notes, and it still never bothers me. (Especially when a lotta times in Modern Tumblr Age, notifs for a single post tends to become one block)

I could actually complain more about this but uhhhh. I think I'll leave it at that. djfndjsf

[youbloodymadgenius]

Ivarello (Modern!Ivar x reader) Chapter 4

Moodboard by @quantumlocked310

Ivarello’s masterpost here

A/N: This is my entry for @deans-ch-ch-cherrypie 500 Followers Fairy Tale Challenge. It's a retelling of Cinderella. Congrats again, darling 💖

A huge thank you to @mrsalwayswrite , who's a great beta reader and an even greater cheerleader 😂

A massive thank you to @quantumlocked310 , @vikingstrash and @serasvictoria . Thank you for agreeing to collaborate and for sharing your talent with me. Your moodboards are beyond amazing 🤩

In this story, Sigurd is alive. Ragnar and Aslaug are dead, but Lagertha didn't kill her. I took a lot of liberties with the show, I hope you won't mind.

Unlike the tale, there will be no magic involved. Not everything will be realistic, however. It's a fayritale, after all!

Let me know if you want to be tagged 😊

Summary: Orphaned five years ago, Ivar and his brothers have been living with Lagertha ever since. Now 16 years old, he wants to attend Harald's traditional Midsummer party, but obstacles stand in his way.

Warnings: description of car crash; orphaned kids; Sigurd being Sigurd; OOC characters.

Words: 2877

Additional note: This is the final chapter. There'll be an epilogue, but you'll have to wait a bit because there are a lot of challenges I've signed up for and I'm way behind schedule.

Enjoy 🙂

🛡⚔️🛡

Devastated and angry at the world. That's how Ivar is feeling.

Holed up in his room since the night before, and despite Lagertha incessant requests, he doesn’t plan to come out, not now at least. Come to think of it, he might as well decide never to leave his room again.

He can't stand the idea of facing his brothers. He doesn't want to have to tell them about his failure. He doesn't want to endure Ubbe's pity and condescendence. He doesn't want to see the look of triumph on Sigurd's face. The thought makes his stomach lurch while at the same time a murderous urge creeps into his mind. No, he definitely can't see his brothers.

Surprisingly, and unlike Lagertha, his brothers have left him alone, as if sensing that entering his room would be as moving into a minefield. Only Hvitserk had taken a chance earlier, cautiously poking his head through the door. His disapproving look obvious when his eyes had taken in the scene before him, Ivar's belongings scattered on the floor, some of them smashed into pieces.

"I got you a chocolate muffin from the kitchen, baby bro," he had explained, putting it on a nearby shelf, and it had almost brought a smile to Ivar's face. To Hvitserk, there's no predicament that can't be improved with comfort food.

"Look, Ivar," scratching his neck, Hvitserk had then said, "I don't know what happened and I don't want to pressure you. You tell me when you're ready, if you are. But I'm here, okay? Whatever the time of day or night, you don't have to be alone if you don't want to. If I'm upstairs, just call me, okay?" With these words, he was gone, the door closed.

Ivar can't get the events of the previous evening out of his mind. Like a waking nightmare, they are playing over and over in his head: how he had freaked out when he heard the beeps; the confused and then so disappointed look you had given him when he sputtered his need to leave; finally, his shameful escape into the night.

What could he have done? What should he have done?

He does know the answer. He should have been more cautious. He should have checked the time, asked for your number and just walked away.

On the other hand, what difference would it have made? He would still have no future with you, right? He would still be a cripple, and you would still be... you... perfect... too good for him.

So yeah, he had run away like a coward. He lets out a bitter chuckle to himself. Run away? Who is he kidding? He hadn't run away, that would have been too easy. Cripples don't run away. Without his cane – why the fuck did he leave it behind?? – he had pathetically limped away, stumbling, his feet sinking into the sand. He had still been on the beach when the battery had died. He had had no other choice but to crawl like a worm the rest of the way, silently praying to the gods that the darkness of the night would prevent you from seeing him like this.

Tears of despair run down his cheeks for the umpteenth time. He's used to feeling humiliated, but feeling humiliated and heartbroken simultaneously is really too much to take. He feels like he's dying from the inside over and over again, cursing himself for wanting to attend the party, for wanting to see you again. He should never have let his walls down, he should never have dared to hope. What was he thinking? He may have walked, and even danced with you, but at the end of the day, he still is a pitiable cripple with stupid, crooked legs, in love with a girl way out of his league.

If he's being honest, that's what hurts the most. He now realizes how delusional he had been. Holding on to a dead dream for years, he had not forseen the painful yet unavoidable reality check. And now, it's like he's been hit by a train. Because there's no denying it, dreaming of a life with you is no longer an option, not after last night. And even though it's almost unbearable, he knows now he has to let go of you, of the idea of you and him being together. As much as this mere thought is devastating, he has no other choice. He has to stop fooling himself, for his own sanity, if nothing else.

Giving a guttural cry, much like that of a wounded animal, Ivar doesn't hear when the front doorbell rings. Not that he would have reacted even if he had heard it, too busy wallowing in self-pity.

***

"Thank you for having us here on such short notice, my dear." Your uncle states joyfully, his eyes sparkling, as Lagertha greets him with a handshake and a tight-lipped smile. Even though you don't know why, it's obvious that she's not his biggest fan.

Your uncle, who doesn't seem to notice – or doesn't care, you're not sure – keeps giving her a beaming smile. "My niece here," he turns his head toward you for a short moment, "has a weird request. She met a boy yesterday, during the party. He lost something and my sweet Y/N has been adamant since this morning that she wants to find him and personally return it to him. We were wondering," he turns his gaze in the direction of the couch, "if it could be one of your wards."

There are indeed three young men, half sprawled on the couch, who get up as one when Lagertha gives them a stern look. If you vaguely remember having seen them before, a single glance is enough for you to know that the one you're looking for is not among them.

You're on the verge of saying so but your uncle doesn't give you a chance to. "See boys," he unceremoniously grabs the cane you're holding behind your back, "here is the lost item. A cane! Fairly uncommon, if you ask me. Anyway... Does this... thing belong to any of you?"

Since you know it doesn't, you're surprised when two of the guys both take a step forward. "Actually, it's mine," they say in unison, each of them only then becoming aware that the other is speaking.

Dumbstruck, you look at one then the other successively. They've got a lot of nerve! You know they're lying, and you would have known it even if these two idiots hadn't spoken at the same time. They just look nothing like your handsome stranger – if he's a stranger.

"Sigurd, you know it's mine!"

"Don't play dumb, you never use a cane, Ubbe! Whereas me, I do sometimes. Everyone knows artists tend to be eccentric, right?"

The blondest one – Sigurd if you heard right – points his finger at a guitar leaning against the wall and then winks at you, "I'm a musician, you know?" You don't even have time to roll your eyes as the other one – Ubbe? – yells, his nostrils flaring.

"Shut up Sig, you're so full of shit! You know I've got a sprained ankle!"

"A sprained ankle, no kidding? Who did a ten-kilometer run today, huh? It's not me! So, you are the one going to shut up, you fucking douchebag!"

It's almost funny to watch them arguing back and forth. If you weren't so pissed off, you'd laugh. But right now, you're mostly mad at them. Their blatant lies make your blood boil with anger.

Are they really thinking you're a complete idiot? That you can be fooled so easily? Who do they think they are? Who do they think you are? Some stupid chick ready to fall for their good looks? If they think that, they're kidding themselves.

"You're the fucking douchebag, Sig!! Don’t forget I'm the oldest!"

"And what's the difference, huh? You can't have all the girls, Ubbe! Keep fucking Margrethe and just let me be! Stop being a controlling asshole!"

"STOP!!!! BOTH OF YOU!!!"

Lagertha's shout is deafening and if looks could kill, these two morons would be lying dead on the floor right here, right now.

"Y/N, my dear," Lagertha gives you an apologetic smile, "I'm so sorry for that. I swear they usually know how to behave, better than that at least. Guess they don't know how to handle your striking beauty. Now sweetheart, tell me, is one of these two knuckleheads the one you were with last night?"

The silence that falls on the room after her question is so complete that you could hear a pin drop. Acutely aware that all eyes are on you, you shyly lower your gaze, shaking your head slightly, as you clasp your hands over your belly. You eventually speak, your eyes meeting Lagertha's, and you can see she knows what you're going to say. "No, the guy I was with last night is not one of them."

"How can you be so sure?" Sigurd's voice is soft and tentative now, and Ubbe adds, seemingly for once in agreement with his younger brother, "yeah, how can you? It was pretty dark after all."

You give them a smile. "How can I be so sure? You mean beside the fact that you obviously don't need a cane? Neither of you?" The third brother, who still hasn't opened his mouth, chuckles, giving you a thumbs up. "Look, I appreciate your interest, I really do, but neither of you are the one I am looking for. Therefore," you look at your uncle, "we should leave, don't you think?" Checking the time on your watch, you shrug. "What about the Eyvindsson family? Didn't you tell me about three brothers? We may have time to go and see them tonight if we hurry."

Your uncle nods, handing you back the cane. "You're right, Y/N, we should leave." Taking two steps forward, he grabs Lagertha's hand. "Sorry dear, we will waste no more of your time."

You're about to thank her when one of the boys clears his throat. "Ahem..."

Turning your head, you're surprised to see the third brother, the silent one, raising his hand. "I think I might know who this cane belongs to." Frowning, he glances at his brothers. "And you both know it too."

"Shut up, Hvitserk!" Sigurd spits, clenching his hands into fists. "Don't bring the fucking cripple into the conversation."

"Sigurd! Keep your mouth shut!" Lagertha glares at him for several long seconds then her face softens as she looks at Hvitserk, placing a hand on his shoulder. "What are you trying to say, Hvitserk? Do you think this cane belongs to your baby brother?"

Hvitserk nods. "I know it does, actually."

"Come on, Hvit, you're talking nonsense. It cannot be, it just cannot. That guy was standing. It wasn't our brother. Our brother wasn't there last night." Ubbe stubbornly insists, but Hvitserk just shakes his head.

"Of course, he was. I saw him. And don't bullshit me, Ubbe, you saw him too. With Y/N." Hvitserk states. That's when you realize that your palms are sweating and your pulse is racing.

Hvitserk keeps going, now speaking to his guardian. "I know what I saw, Lagertha. It was him. I don't know how, but he was standing, Ubbe is right. He was even walking. It may sound weird but I swear, it was him."

Lagertha nods. "I believe you, Hvitserk." A beaming smile spreads across her lips and she tilts her head. "I wouldn't be surprised if Floki had something to do with such a miracle. Go get your brother, Hvitserk, please."

Your heart leaps at these words, you're barely able to contain your excitement and as you let out a nervous chuckle, you cannot help but jump for joy. Needless to say, Ubbe and Sigurd seem much less enthusiastic than you.

***

Reluctantly following his brother, Ivar mutters under his breath, "you're pissing me off, Hvit. I'm fucking not in the mood for whatever you have in mind."

Hvitserk pays him no mind though, a small smile dancing on his lips. "Trust me, baby bro, you'll be in the mood."

Ivar wants to protest, or maybe just turn around and wheel back to his room but all at once the sound of your voice reaches his ears and he stops, frozen in place, his eyes wide open. He may have stopped breathing.

Patting his shoulder reassuringly, Hvitserk whispers, "It's Y/N, baby bro, but I have a feeling you already know. She's here for you, she was looking for you, Ivar. Go..." before giving a single push to his brother's wheelchair, his right hand on the backrest.

Ivar honestly doesn't know how he manages to wheel himself into the living room. What he does know, however, is that you're suddenly standing right in front of him. The heart stopping smile you flash him blows all the air out of his lungs, his heart pounding wildly in his chest, and the outside world – Lagertha, his brothers, Harald – ceases to exist.

A little voice tells him he should be feeling self-conscious with his hair all messy and wearing worn sweatpants, but he can't bring himself to care, not when you kneel in front of him with stars in your eyes.

"Here you are, finally," you breathe, gently placing a hand on his knee. Ivar didn't know until now that one could die of happiness, but that's exactly what he's feeling and he wouldn't trade it for anything.

Swallowing, he blinks several times. When he speaks, his voice trembles, his bottom lip quivering. "Hello Y/N, you were... looking for... for me?" He has trouble getting the words out, his nervous fingers fidgeting on his lap.

Grabbing both his hands in yours, you nod, your thumbs stroking his knuckles tenderly. "I was, yes, and for a very long time."

Shyly lowering his head, Ivar, almost feeling dizzy, can't wrap his head around your words. They're just too good to be true. "But... why?"

"Why?" You giggle, your laughing eyes lighting up your face, and he's positive, you're even more beautiful like this. "Isn't it obvious? I want to know more about you, what's your favorite color, what you eat for breakfast, where you see yourself in ten years. I just want to spend time with you, Ivar."

'Ivar' You've just said his name and it's like the sweetest music to his ears. He can't believe it. Wow. "You... You recognized me?" There's so much hope and joy in his voice, he cringes.

You shrug, your smile never leaving your lips. "I wasn't sure at first. You've changed a lot." Your hand cups his cheek. The sensation on his skin is so overwhelming he has to hold back the tears threatening to gush. Yet, he can't help but think you're speaking about his legs.

He grits his teeth. "Yeah... Standing tall can change a man."

"No! no, no, no," you retort without missing a beat, "That's not what I meant. In my memory you still looked like you did when we were ten, but look at you now, all grown up! Your hair was so short back then." Reaching out, you brush a strand of hair back and tuck it behind his ear before letting your fingers run slowly down and up his bulging biceps, your hand finally lingering on his forearm, "Plus, you clearly work out a lot. So, yeah, I thought it was you, but I wasn't sure. When we were dancing last night, I thought I'd ask you right after, but then you left and... well... I didn't have a chance..."

Ivar wraps his fingers around yours, a frown creasing his forehead. "About that, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have left like–"

You shush him, holding a finger to his lips. "It doesn't matter, Ivar. You don't have to explain. All that matters is that I found you." Standing up, you lean forward and gently kiss his cheek and he feels like he's floating. Intertwining his fingers with yours, you whisper in his ear, "I reckon we got some lost time to make up, you and me. Can we go stargazing now?"

Hearing this makes Ivar's insides turn to jelly. Barely able to think, he is on cloud nine and wishes with all his heart never to come back down to earth again. But despite the daze, despite the fog in his head, despite the blinding happiness, he knows one thing: no matter how many stars he sees, you'll be the brightest one.

"Yes, Y/N, you're right," bringing your hand to his mouth, he gives it a kiss, "let's go stargazing."

And as he leaves the room, you walking alongside him with your hand on his shoulder, his heart filled with joy and wonder, he doesn't miss the thumbs up Hvitserk gives him, nor the scowl on Ubbe's and Sigurd's faces.

For a fleeting second, he thinks he should – he could – taunt them. They deserve to be laughed at, don't they? But then, he realizes he doesn't have time for that. The time for happiness has come, and it's far more important.

Giving you a beaming smile, Ivar inhales deeply before releasing a sigh of satisfaction. Yeah. Happiness. Happiness sounds good.

🛡⚔️🛡

Ivar’s taglist: @waiting4inspiration @honestsycrets @lisinfleur @saldelys @gearhead66 @inforapound @readsalot73 @milkkygirls @xbellaxcarolinax @shannygoatgruff @zuxiezendler @hecohansen31 @lonewolf471 @fuckindiva @tgrrose @didiintheblog @peachyboneless @pieces-by-me @funmadnessandbadassvikings @ethereallysimple @destynelseclipsa @cocovikings23 @xceafh @mrsalwayswrite @deans-ch-ch-cherrypie @pomegranates-and-blood @jadelynlace @grimeundglow @quantumlocked310 @alexhandersen-marcoilsoe-fandom @adrille88

Ivarello's taglist: @not-another-viking-fanfic-blog @hashimily @prepare4trouble @supernaturalvikingwhore @funmadnessandbadassvikings @heavenly1927 @dini73

[stanknotstark]

Truth Serum

Hello everyone! My name is Amber and I’m not new to writing however I am new to actually posting my writing but recently I really got back into Loki with all the trailers dropping and stuff and I’ve had so many ideas crossing my mind so I figured I’d write some of my ideas out and post them here! Honestly this is my first time writing for Loki so he might be a bit OOC until I really get him under my buckle! This piece doesn’t have a lot of Loki in it because I’m also testing out writing with more than two people getting focus so I apologize in advance but I’ll probably write the 2nd piece tomorrow where Loki confronts ‘you’. Enjoy! Gif not mine!

You had just finished sweeping and mopping in Tony’s lab because there was glass on the ground. The only abnormal thing was that there was opalescent liquid in-between all the broken glass, your guess was that it must have been in some vial for safe keeping meaning you should have been careful. 

Should. Key word right there.

Realizing you had gotten some of the mystical liquid on yourself you quickly finished up cleaning then found Tony who was visiting with Steve in the living room. 

“Tony, Tony, Tony,” You incessantly said in a sing song voice as you approached, “Heya, Stevo.”

“Look there was a broken vial in your lab and you know I was down there for my blueprints and while cleaning said broken glass the liquid might have touched my skin....”

Tony frowned and Steve’s eyes widened and looked at Tony.

“Listen just tell me if I’m dying or not?”

Tony stood there staring at your face for another few seconds before you literally saw the realization hit him like a bus. Tony smiled.

“You know I’ve always had this question in the back of my brain since you said your blueprints were apparently....’Only meant for clearance level 10s’ I think I remember you saying...”

You frowned at Tony and shrugged, “I mean...no one is level 10 so don’t be offended...What does that have to do with this?”

“What exactly are those precious blueprints?”

You were going to give a witty remark but suddenly it was like word vomit and you couldn’t stop the next words from flowing out of your mouth, “They’re a new helmet I’m making for Loki that include audio, kinda like headphones, so he can listen to his favorite Mid-guardian books while on missions with us.”

Tony smirked which then turned into a full on smile before letting out a laugh. Steve looked at you with a confused puppy look on his face. You, unfortunately, realized what that liquid was.

“Tony I swear to God if that liquid I touched was a truth serum I’m literally going to castrate you!”

Tony, still laughing, put his hands up in a surrendering way and shook his head.

“I’m not the one that decided to clean up a mysterious liquid in my lab, of all places, without proper cleaning gear!”

At this point everyone in the room was looking at you three. Natasha and Clint were on one couch in the living room, Loki sat with his legs criss cross, back to the window overlooking NYC, and Wanda and Vision sat on the opposite couch from Natasha and Clint. The only two missing were Thor and Bruce. Much to your luck as you looked around at everyone, you realized they all overheard Tony because they all had mischievous smirks crossing their faces.

“STOP! I’ll answer questions BUT nothing too personal please...” You said putting on your best puppy eyes and giving an exasperated sigh. Surprisingly enough you looked at your crush, Loki, and saw he was the only one without a mischievous smirk, for once. He did however put down the book he had been reading and instead had a focused look on his face as he played with the green magic floating between his hands. No one else paid him any mind though.

“Who’s your favorite Avenger?” Natasha shot out leaning back into the couch with a smirk.

“Tony.”

“YES!” Tony shouted pumping a fist into the air.

“Why?” Natasha asked.

“Because he’s like a dad to me, not to mention he makes us really cool gear meaning I don’t have to slave away in the lab by myself anymore.” You rolled your eyes as you finished the sentence. Tony beside you pulled you into a gut crushing hug and said, “Awe, FRIDAY can you put up adoption papers on my computer in the lab and set a reminder to fill them out later today?” 

“Tony, stop, God, you’re embarrassing.” You pushed from his hug, blushing. 

“For some reason I’m not really surprised.” Nat said shrugging. 

You giggled and made your way to the middle of the room, taking a seat in an available love seat, Tony and Steve coming to stand behind it. 

Next Wanda sat up with an excited look on her face and asked, “Who do you think is the strongest Avenger?” 

Thor walked in and gave a hearty chuckle, “Me, of course!”

“No, actually, I think it’s a tie between you, Wanda, and Loki.”

“What, no no, surely you’re mistaken, dear?” Thor said now chuckling nervously.

Steve smiled over to him and shrugged, “No, Thor, she accidentally touched a truth serum, this is as honest as she’ll ever be buddy.”

“Why am I one of the strongest Avengers?” Loki asked, his hands still playing with the magic but his complete attention on you.

“Your magic may not be on Wanda’s par, at least what I know about it, but you’ve endured quite the amount of emotion grief and came out on top so I guess I see you as the strongest, emotionally...” You finished with a wince since it kind of aired out Loki’s dirty laundry and was a bit mushy if you were being honest. Loki hummed but went back to focusing on his magic. 

Thor frowned then a happy look over took his face, “Are you in love with anyone in the room?”

“Whoa!”

“Thor!”

“Wait, Thor!”

You laughed out loud and let the answer go freely, unconsciously glancing back to Loki who wasn’t looking at you but had a raised brow and seemed to only be half focusing on the green magic cloud in his hands, “Yes.”

“Thor buddy that’s a bit personal.” Tony said, an eyebrow raised in a disappointed dad sort of way. 

“My apologies!” Thor said making his way to the kitchen, “I hear a Poptart calling my name, perhaps a smores today.”

“Is it fair to say we may ask questions about this love interest considering it’s one of us?” Vision asked with a vexed look on his face. 

Loki cleared his throat and everyone gave him attention, “Perhaps we should keep that as a restricted topic considering she did say nothing too personal?”

You weighed the pros and cons in your head, while you were nervous for Loki to find out it was him maybe this was the way to get it out in the open. Lord knows you would take advantage of it considering every time you spoke with Loki nowadays you turned into a blabbering mess and tended to leave every conversation read in the cheeks from fluster and embarrassment. 

“I don’t mind you asking questions but don’t out right ask me his name.” You said deciding to get this over with. 

“Well we can cut out Natasha and Wanda then.” Tony said catching onto you saying him. “Reindeer games what on Earth are you doing anyways?”

Loki glanced at Tony and smirked, “Nervous?”

Tony frowned and backed up a bit, “You know, I wasn’t but I am now...”

Loki chuckled and went back to focusing on his magic flowing freely between his fingers and pulsing between his hands now, “Nothing that will harm anyone, Stark, don’t get your britches in a bunch.” 

You smiled at Loki then looked around at everyone, “Ok, hit me!”

“I know you said don’t ask a name but you did just say Tony was a father figure I was hoping you didn’t...” Clint started and ended softly with fear in his eyes.

Seeing as it wasn’t a full question you didn’t feel word vomit coming up but decided to play around with Clint since he never ceased to prank you all the time.

“I might have a daddy kink...” You said looking up at Tony, trying your best to give him a lustful look but couldn’t hold in your laughter when Clint started gagging, “No, Clint, it’s not Tony.”

You laughed a bit when you heard Tony let out a heavy sigh of relief. You then brought a hand up and covered your giggle when Clint said a tiny, “Oh thank god.”

“I swear, it better not be Vision, he’s mine!” Wanda said suddenly with wide eyes.

“Not vision.” You responded. 

You could feel Tony’s fingers behind you rhythmically tapping on the leather love seat, showing his growing impatience. 

“It’s not Steve, Tony.” You said trying to placate the man since he had told you in confidence that he was trying to find a good way to ask the man out. 

“You realize that only leaves Clint...and me, right?” Loki said with an unsure smirk. You gave the man a smile and stood up. Loki had finally finished playing with his magic, halfway through you realized what he had been doing seeing as you felt the truth serum slowly letting up in you. He had finally worked out the chemicals from your system and you were back to normal. 

“Unfortunately I’m not outright telling you all who it is, if you haven’t been paying attention to me recently that’s on you.” You said before heading towards the kitchen, Loki still smirking as he watched you walk away.

“I feel a smores Poptart calling my name too.” 

After you had disappeared Clint cleared his throat and looked at Loki, ���It’s totally me, sorry i mean have you seen these guns, Loki? You have nothing on me.”

Loki chuckled and picked his book back up, “I think I have more to offer than you think Clint, but keep telling yourself it’s you if it helps that mortal brain of yours sleep at night.” 

[sixteenthshen]

post-finale stuff

Possible spoilers. Beware

Last night, I happened to check the scriptwriter's Weibo and saw that she had liked this fan's post. It's the only non-work related Weibo post that she had liked, so of course, I went to read it. 

The fact that this is the only fan post she's given her approval to must mean that it is on point and she agrees with the characterisation. I thought it's pretty good, so I've gone ahead to translate it here. I own 0 rights to this. I just thought it's a good perspective that may help others like me who struggled with the ending. 

I think I've mostly made my peace with it now, and to sum it up:

Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all that they are. 

A-Xu never once blamed Lao Wen for how things turned out because he understood that. And he’s clearly a better person than I am (lol).

Let me be clear about my stand - the real victim of how the drama unfolded in the last six episodes is WKX. When we feel our hearts ache for ZZS, it's because the show let down WKX (the character). If your heart is only hurting for WKX during episodes 33-34, you should try to ship WKX with someone else, ok? If you think the last six episodes were great and that WKX was very romantic (and only romantic), then I honestly don't know what to say. 

I ship wenzhou. That means I like both Wen Kexing and Zhou Zishu. I want them to love each other, be good to each other and live happily ever after. And I want them not to be OOC. 

The rest behind the cut. Spoilers for the whole drama. 

------- 

First, the source. Here is a link to that Weibo post, by 爱吐槽的栗小姐. I will delete this if requested by the OP - because this is really in a grey area imo. But I think the intention of a public post is for it to be shared? (especially something like this, which argues a point) 

Secondly, the poster does try to be fair in her post, but as the problem here is WKX's ruined characterisation, ZZS's character is analysed primarily concerning this issue only. There's quite a bit left to ZZS's character and backstory that isn't relevant. I believe that's why the post doesn't elaborate on it, or so I hope.

-------

Ever since WKX faked his death, I received three to four waves of fellow sister fans' mournful wails: "Lao Wen actually faked his death; does he have a heart?" "They were supposed to be of the same heart and treat each other with honesty. How did they regress?" "What happened to their innate soulmate-ness?" "Why does A-Xu always say to face things together, yet Lao Wen always keeps his plans from him?" "A-Xu loves Lao Wen, yet Lao Wen only loves himself"…….

Wait. What have you guys misunderstood about the meaning of soulmates? 

Soulmates are about values, but a person's behaviour… that's methodology FFS! 

(Do they no longer teach this in political affairs class in high school anymore?) 

Wenzhou, these soulmates, are incomparably compatible and mesh well in terms of values. According to the scriptwriter, the entire jianghu wants and tries to get the pieces of Glazed Armour, save the two of them. Not only do they not care for the peerless martial arts, immense power, nor the massive wealth that the Glazed Armour represents, they don't even care for the power they hold in their hands –Ghost Valley and the Window of Heaven. Both of them willing to give it up without a second thought. 

Before they met each other, they were so tired of (ZZS) and so angry at (WKX) this earthly world that they didn't even want to live on anymore. 

After they met each other, they gradually began to feel the warmth in this world again. How nice it would be if they could live in seclusion, hand in hand and just bask in the sun. 

In this world, where everyone else is fighting for power or wealth, they are true soulmates. To intelligent people like them, whether or not they're honest about their identities or secrets is merely a matter of formality. They had already determined their attraction to the other's soul early on and have never doubted it. 

There may be some here who would criticise loudly at this point, "Then can't you be more considerate for your soulmate (the actual phrased used is "spiritual companion")? A-Xu has said many times, let's face everything together, I'll bet that you will be honest with me. If you really love him, then why can't you care for his feelings?" 

----- You guys, you've never been married. 

If two souls meeting can naturally resolve all behavioural conflicts and disagreements, then the theory of "breaking in" * would not exist. 

Let us take a look at what kind of a person WKX and ZZS each are.

Wen Kexing, he's a lone wolf. 

After his parents' death and his entering the Ghost Valley, his smooth sailing life suddenly fell off a cliff. Ever since then, the only person he could rely on was himself. That deep-seated hatred is carved into his bones, yet he can't speak of it to anyone else. He isn't the same type of person as the rest of the ghosts in the Ghost Valley; he isn't the same type of person as A-Xiang, who he raised. If we talk about the world and everyone who lives in it, he doesn't have any fetters or feels any (positive) emotions. 

His supposed craziness is a form of indifference. He's indifferent to others' lives, nor his own, because he just doesn't care. (T/N: I think he does care for his own life, but only for revenge, after that, he's indifferent. Indifferent isn't suicidal. I don't know why some fans seem to be confusing the two. Although he didn't plan to, if he somehow manages to stay alive after getting his revenge, WKX will continue to live on, even if it's only to keep A-Xiang happy because he is indifferent.)

Growing up like this, being solitary became his style. He's used to doing everything alone, used to making his own decisions, used to digesting all his emotions himself. 

Every time he argues with A-Xu, he digests his emotions himself. The next day, he faces A-Xu with a smile again. 

This is how he loves, to take it upon himself to face danger, difficulty and pain alone. It's how he had supported A-Xiang all these years in the Ghost Valley and what he's used to. 

While Zhou Zishu, he's a lead horse (of a herd). ** 

Since a very young age, he's taught to take responsibility. He's used to bearing everything on his shoulders, be it the responsibility of his family or the responsibility for the Four Seasons Manor, even the responsibility for saving commoners from disasters. 

Unlike the lone wolf, the lead horse is ultimately a social animal. 

Regardless of his identity as the Manor Lord of the Four Seasons Manor or the Leader of the Window of Heaven, he's always the one to lead the herd and rarely fights alone. So, A-Xu not only has leadership ability but more than that, he also knows how to be tolerant and accepting of the differences of his team members. You can see the various ways he managed to influence Lao Wen along the road; he's firm when he needs to be and soft the other times. It's absolutely textbook in managing your lover workplace management. 

Zhou Zishu believes in communication whenever there's a problem, that they should be open and honest. So, teamwork is what he's used to. 

Does it mean that when a horse and lone wolf fall in love, that there won't be a breaking in period? 

Obviously not. 

I guess this is where some may say again, "isn't this part of a character's arc/development? The two of them quarrel time and time again. Did WKX not grow at all from it?" 

Of course, after meeting each other, they both grew and saved each other.

When he first left Window of Heaven, A-Xu was lonely with regret. Unlike the lone wolf who's used to doing everything alone, a lead horse without the last of his herd has no way to bear the bone-deep loneliness and merciless self-recrimination.

ZZS wandered around this world aimlessly until Lao Wen started pestering him, until he picked up Zhang Chengling, right up until he felt he hadn't singlehandedly destroyed the Four Seasons Manor. This lead horse finally regained a goal in life. He gained a partner and a lover. Lao Wen sticks to him, Chengling relies on him, and the abandoned Four Seasons Manor became like-new in his hands. He finally reconciles with himself. 

When he first came out of the valley, Lao Wen carried a rage strong enough to burn the world down. But when he met A-Xu, he also met the beauty of the world. 

When the Four Sages of Anji died, WKX understood how he caused innocent suffering. When Gao Chong walked to his death knowingly, he understood that although some may desire power, they could still be righteous and upstanding people. When he learned of everything Long Que sacrificed to protect his family***, he finally relaxed his guard. 

There were so many types of good people and things that he saw along this journey that he hadn't seen in the Ghost Valley. When A-Xu told him he was a good person as they basked in the sun, he genuinely wanted to return to the human (vs ghost) realm and be a good man. 

Along their journey, A-Xu made up for the morals and values that WKX lost in the Ghost Valley and showed him a new world outlook. He appeased Lao Wen's anger, tempered his extremism. The process wasn't easy, but not that difficult either, because, in the end, Lao Wen is kind at heart. 

But in the end, being a lone wolf is how he survived and succeeded in a place like the Ghost Valley. When A-Xu was so heavily injured and needed a lot of rest (for Wu Xi) to save his life, Lao Wen suddenly recalled his enemies and how such an excellent opportunity to take revenge just fell into his lap. Everything was in place, and all he needed to do was hide it from A-Xu; he could leave for a short while and have it settled quickly. Upon returning, he could then live happily ever after with his wife. To a crazy lone wolf, why would he not take a gamble? 

What he couldn't predict was the news would've been leaked (to A-Xu), and he didn't know that by doing so, he would've forever lost his love. 

Both of them were using their own methods to love the other person. Zhou Zishu is more forgiving and accepting because being forgiving is in his blood. While what WKX learned in his years in the Ghost Valley is -- love needs to be protected, like how he has A-Xiang, who he considers a sister, call himself master (to protect her). 

Only when faced with painful consequences can a person's deep-rooted habits and approach to things change. So I don't think faking his death ruined the characterisation of Wen Kexing, but I regret that the last two episodes did not have a scene to show us Lao Wen's heartbreak when he learns the truth. 

Until I know what it feels like to have lost you, I will only love you in my own way. 

T/N: 

*I can't think of the correct phrase for this as I don't read all that much about relationships >< please let me know if you know of it. Here, I'm referring to the process of wearing something new (like shoes) that will hurt at the start until it becomes soft and comfortable. 

** I did some side-reading, and omg, A-Xu is TOTALLY the lead mare. Although he's not the stallion and weak/dying for most of the show, he's the head of their little family, and he expects "to be obeyed", aka, I'm not going to learn how to cook. Call me for dinner. Kthxbye. 

From Rutgers' website: A herd of wild horses consists of one or two stallions, a group of mares, and their foals. The leader of the herd is usually an older mare (the "alpha mare"), even though one stallion owns the herd. She maintains her dominant role even though she may be physically weaker than the others. The older mare has had more experiences, more close encounters, and survived more threats than any other horse in the herd. The requirement of the lead horse is not strength or size; if this were so, then humans could never dominate a horse. Dominance is established not only through aggression but also through attitudes that let the other horses know she expects to be obeyed.

***I think this is important here because WKX wasn't crying for his loss. I think a big part of him was realising not everyone in the world was callous and turned their backs on his parents, that he could've gone his whole life without ever discovering what sacrifices some people have made. Good people suffer quietly and in silence. It's a big moment to realise he was wrong about many things that he had let hatred blind himself to the world. Because although he was sad about the Four Sages and somewhat shocked by Gao Chong's death, he hadn't truly faced up to his actions until now. 

(screenshot of the scriptwriter liking the above post) 

------

To add: 

I'm not sure how many of you read my "opinion" posts, but I've been struggling to find a way to accept the last six episodes of Word of Honor.  I first tried looking at open forum postings, comments, and Tumblr posts. None of it worked because it was just arguing and emotions and no one made points good enough for me to accept things. 

So I gave up and went back to reading Chinese sites. I found many posts discussing the plot. Some I liked, some I didn't, but none satisfied my need for a reasonable explanation. I felt they had biases (both ways), or else it lacked logic. After a time, I realised that I should be looking for WKX-stans (or pro-WKX fans) because they would be more motivated to explain his side, but also because well-written posts by wenzhou-fans & ZZS-stans made me super sad.

I'm sorry, but those who keep trying to explain why the ending was good completely missed that episodes 32-34 are the real problem to those who don't like it and only focused on 36. I can understand if people don't think those episodes are a problem, but no one could provide an articulate and sensible reason. There are just too few well-reasoned plot-focused posts in English (sorry). I've seen too many examples of WKX-fans arguing with people who are upset about the ending, backed by nothing more than "look how much WKX suffers, woe is him. And how romantic is this????" *dies* 

Lastly, if you spot anything inaccurate, let me know & I will correct it.

[valewright67]

Melizabeth Week, Day Two: Heaven/Hell - Heaven

Fair warning, this is an old one I wrote but never published. I wasn't sure what else to do for it. Also, I apologize in advance for any grammar mistakes.

A bit of OOC with Ludociel

_-_-_-_-_

 "So where should we go first? Now that we're free from the curse. We agreed we'd travel, right? Sooo.... Any ideas?" Meliodas asked, leaning back against Elizabeth. His eyes were closed in bliss as he lay cradled in her arms, back to chest. She was leaning against the headboard on their bed. "Hm… Well, we could return to the celestial village? I've got my memories back now, and… well, that's the closest place to the goddess realm I can get. I'd like to visit. Fly around a land above the clouds once more."

He hummed and turned his head, nuzzling into her collarbone gently. "Sounds good to me. Should we invite any of the others?" Her eyes lit up. "That's a splendid idea! I'm sure Mael would like to visit a place like that too! Zeldris and Gelda as well!" She giggled. "We can invite the rest of the sins, but to be honest? I think they're pretty occupied."

True to her prediction, the sins all declined this time round, citing… alone time. (For Merlin and Gowther, that was literal. They just wanted to be left alone for awhile.) Mael was eager to come, for the same reasons Elizabeth had listed. Zeldris was reluctant, but Gelda convinced him, saying it'd be good for him and Meliodas to spend some quality time together, and she wished to discuss more with Elizabeth.  

By the time the group of five had arrived, the sun was almost rising. "Oh, the spring is refilled! Good, that's convenient! We could have flown, but it would’ve been irritating." Meliodas said. He leaned down by the water and tapped it gently, channeling his energy into opening the portal. An extra burst of goddess magic from Elizabeth by his side, and the familiar glow lit up the pool. He grinned and stood, looking to the other couple. "Zeldris, Gelda. After you."

The black haired demon sighed. "Why do I feel like this is a bad idea?" The blonde smirked. "Because it probably is. Have fun!" 

"...why do I ever trust you?" He grumbled, but dove into the pool anyways, quickly followed by Gelda. Elizabeth smiled at Mael. "You next." He nodded and went without complaint. Elizabeth after him, and Meliodas last, closing the portal behind him.

_-_-_-_-_

Zeldris blinked, adjusting the sudden darkness of the cave as Gelda broke the surface besides him. He swam out and pulled her with him. "Might as well take a look around. They'll be a minute." She nodded and the two walked out of the cave, into the sunlight. 

He almost gasped. The view was incredible. It was stifled though, when he felt a presence of light flying towards him. He was immediately on the defensive and enabled his hellfire with a snarl, whirling around to face the potential threat. 

Goddesses!

Wait… no. These didn't feel like Goddesses. Similar, but off. That's right, they're celestials. Apparently, descended from the heavenly beings who'd once been his mortal enemies. It was hard to remember that now, sometimes. That the war was over, and he had FRIENDS from the other side.

He held his hands up. "Wait, please, I mean you no harm, I swear it!" The bearded man holding a familiar feathered sword scowled. "Like we would believe you, demon! There's only one demon we've ever trusted, and that's not you!" 

Zeldris tried to speak, to explain that he was pretty sure he knew exactly who they were talking about, and that they had nothing to fear from him. “You mean Meliodas, right? I’m-” Before he could complete his sentence, however, the man held the sword up near his throat threateningly. "No lies will spill from your throat before blood, demon scum." Gelda snarled. "How DARE you threaten my husband, you IMPUDENT prick-"

"I am only defending my home from the likes of creatures like you!"

"Remove the sword from my husband's neck!"

"Absolutely not! Either of you make a move, and I slit his throat!"

"MELIODAS IS MY BROTHER!!!"

The man froze and stared at him, before scowling suddenly. "You lying scum-"

"Hey, hey, hey! How about we all calm down, now!" Mael said, emerging from the cave entrance, arms raised placatingly. "There's no need for figh…ting… is that my sword??" He gaped at it. "I haven't seen that thing in 3000 years! This is where it's been the whole time??" 

The Celestials didn't say a word, too stunned at the sudden appearance of a GODDESS, when they were supposed to be wiped out. And not only a goddess, but apparently the first wielder of their most sacred sword. He shook his head. "Um, well anyways. My names Mael, I'm one of the four archangels. That's Zeldris and Gelda. They're not gonna hurt you, the five of us just came for for visit."

"Five? Where's the other two?" By now a small crowd had gathered. The trio blinked as a small blonde man, looking eerily like Meliodas, were it not for the wings on his back, walked forwards. A woman looking near identical to Elizabeth by his side. Mael blinked and smiled. "I'd think they were right in front of me, if I didn't know any better, but they should be here in just a moment. They came through the portal last."

The two exchanged looks. Did he mean…? "Yo, Solaad!" Sure enough, the blonde demon who'd saved them during the time of ruin came up through the cave. "Why are you all terrorizing Zelly?" (A scowl at the nickname was directed at him, but he just smirked at the younger.) "He won't hurt anyone, I promise."

"Hello, Elatte. And everyone else too! It has been quite a long while, hasn't it?" Elizabeth spoke, walking up behind Meliodas with her wings folded neatly against her back.

…wait.

Wings??

"Meliodas? E-Elizabeth? Since when did you get WINGS??" Solaad asked. Elatte glanced at the older man. "Sir Zoria, please drop the sword, Meliodas himself said that this man means no harm."

Elizabeth gave a soft smile. "It's complicated. I've always had them, in a way, as I was born a goddess in my first life. But I was cursed by the demon king to reincarnate as a human for the rest of time, and if I should ever get my memories back, I would die in three days." She fluttered her wings gently. "We managed to break the curse, after 3000 years and 107 lifetimes."

"...who's 'we?' And why did the demon king curse you, what did you DO??" Zoria asked. She laughed. "Well. His firstborn son and I fell in love." She gestured to Meliodas, who had drifted over to Zeldris and thrown an arm over his shoulder, apparently teasing him in demon tongue, much to the younger's displeasure. Zeldris was almost visibly bristling, and his face was red.

“Meliodas is the son the demon king??” Solaad almost yelled, gaining the two demons' attention. “I mean, yes?” Meliodas said, arm still around Zeldris’s shoulders. “Though the previous demon king is dead now, we killed pops. I’m not exactly the current demon king's son.”

Mistress Vaness hobbled forwards. “Who could possibly have the power necessary to take the place of a god?” Meliodas and Zeldris blinked, looked at each other and back at her. “We share the burden.” They said together. She gaped. “You mean…?” They smirked. “Yep! Zeldris is my younger brother. We have the same blood, which makes it easier to share the role of demon king.” 

“Meli is, technically, the stronger by default. But we split the demon king's power and influence 50/50. He just had a more powerful base. Not by much though.” Zeldris added on. 

Meliodas ruffled his hair fondly, and Zeldris swatted him off, retreating to Gelda’s side.  The blonde laughed and drifted back over towards Elizabeth. Mael was just. There. He was still looking at the sword. “Where did you all even get that?” He asked, baffled. The Celestials all exchanged looks and Elatte smiled at him. Solaad took the sword. “Come, we will show you.” They took off and flew down towards a temple. The group followed them.

Elatte gestured up at the magnificent murals. "The legend says that 3,000 years ago, a dark haired goddess in flowing robes accompanied the great Oshiro when Sealing away the demons on our island. He gave us the sword right before his body was spent."

She pointed to a section along the side. “All he said was: ‘I cannot bear to look at this blade any longer. Perhaps it will protect you all better than it did my brother.’ And then he was gone, simple as that. We have passed it down, generation to generation. It is because of Solaad figuring out that it could be used to seal away demons that we are all still alive.”

Mael flew up towards the mural, gazing at the depiction of the goddess. “His name was Ludociel. He was my older brother. There was a forbidden spell cast that changed the memories of everyone in the world, including that of the gods. It made it seem as though I had been killed by Estarossa, one of three demon princes. In reality, Estarossa never existed. I was transformed into him, and false memories were implanted in everyone’s head, including mine. I had no idea that I was actually Mael.” He gave a small smile. “The memories are all still there, though. It is strange. I am both Mael of Sunshine, one of the four archangels, younger brother to Ludociel of Flash. And also, I’m Estarossa, second of the three demon princes, Commandment of Love. It is… strange. I don’t fit in anywhere anymore. Not really.”

Meliodas and Zeldris exchanged glances and flew up next to him. “Mael.” Zeldris started, quietly. “For a moment in time, even without the false memories, you were still our brother.” Meliodas grinned. “Yeah! You may not be Estarossa, but, like you said, he never existed in the first place. He was made up. But you are Mael, and we may as well count you as our brother. Even if you did kill me.” He smirked and the goddess gave a strained chuckle. “Thank you.” He murmured, drifting back down to the ground. Meliodas slapped his shoulder, and Zeldris nudged his side in an unspoken display of commadry. 

He turned and looked to Solaad. “The sword belongs to your people now, I accept that. But… Would you permit me to wield it once more?” The blonde nodded and held the sword out to him. He took it gratefully, feeling the familiar weight of it. He twisted it around, reacquainting himself with it.

He walked outside into the clearing and took a deep breath, centering himself. He thrust the sword up towards the sun, channeling its energy, and he spoke. “Huius bring animam suam. Iterum ego volo loqui cum eo.” The sword lit up, and a beam of light shot out of it. He grunted. “Permitte mihi vedere!” He removed a hand and pointed it forward. The beam of light connecting him to the sun moved through him and flowed out of his hand. A silhouette started to form, flickering. He pushed his hand a little bit farther forward, and more light and magic poured out of him. “Emerge.”

The silhouette solidified. A goddess stood there, blinking and looking confusedly at his hands and then around him. His eyes landed on Mael, and then the stream of light that flowed to him and formed his body. A glimmer of understanding crossed his face, and he looked back up, meeting his brother's gaze.

“Mael… Hello, little brother. What are you doing?” He smiled kindly. Mael gave him a slightly strained grin. “Hi Ludociel. I missed you, I wanted to see you again.” The dark haired goddess softened a little and walked forward, caressing the side of his face. “I have missed you too, all these years. You cannot keep this up for long, however. Manifesting a soul takes up a lot of magic, and you’re going to burn yourself out.” Mael leaned into his palm. “I know, but… my sword… I can channel more magic through it, and I just. I needed to talk to you again. I needed to tell you how sorry I was, Luce...” 

He shushed him. “None of that, Mael. There is nothing to forgive. You’re my little brother, and I love you. I understand.” He glanced around again. “So you made your way to the Celestial’s island. I remember giving them your sword. I couldn’t stand seeing it without you there everyday. I just wanted to get rid of it. I’m a little impressed they’ve kept it in such good shape all these years. Heaven knows most of the rest of our weapons were damaged or destroyed over the centuries.”

Mael wobbled a little, and Ludociels image faded. His hand was clasped on his older brother's shoulder, channeling the magic directly into him. He grunted and forced himself to straighten, Ludociel’s body solidifying again. He gave him a sad smile. “You have to let me go, Mael. Before you hurt yourself.” “No! I’m not, I’m not done talking to you yet, there’s so much I need to say!” He grunted again, the magic taxing on him. Ludociel was about to force him to stop, when two beams of pure magical energy hit his back, reinvigorating him. He turned to look, and Zeldris and Meliodas were lending their power to him. 

“He’s our brother too, in a way.” Meliodas said. Zeldris finished the thought. “He deserves to get to talk to you, after everything.” With the extra influx of magic, Ludociels form started to glow. He could almost feel his body again. Elizabeth walked forwards. “Ludociel… I can do this for you, at least.” He blinked, almost surprised to see her here. She pressed one hand over his forehead, and another over his chest. She inhaled deeply, eyes closed. On the exhale, she spoke. “Revertere ad vita.” His eyes widened. Return to life. 

Her hands glowed with a brilliant light, and he could feel a true body forming around him. She groaned, drawing on her reserves. Gelda scowled and whirled around to the celestials. “You all have light magic! Give her some of yours!”

They were frozen, but Elatte stepped forwards and lifted her hands, pointing at Elizabeth’s back. “All of our power into one! Heal!” A beam of green light shot out of her hands and into Elizabeth. The other celestials were quick to follow her example.

She gathered the influx of energy and pushed it into him. A blinding light filled the clearing, and when it faded, Ludociel was actually there, kneeling on the ground, naked as the day he was born. Though, Elizabeth supposed that made sense, considering he had just been reborn, in a way. Mael dropped the sword and stumbled forward, clinging to him tightly. Ludociel hugged him back. 

“...May I please have something to cover up with?” He asked. Mael laughed and took off the topcoat of his robe, wrapping it around him. Ludociel buttoned it up, silently thanking that it was long, and reached to his ankles.

Mael stood, and helped him to his feet, the two leaning on each other for support. Meliodas had already gathered Elizabeth up, and was holding her while she regained her energy. The two murmured gently back and forth. Gelda and Zeldris were doing the same not too far away.

"Mael…" He started. "Thank you, little brother." The light haired goddess grinned and leaned in to hug him once more. "I missed you, big brother." Ludociel smiled and stroked his hair. "We can talk later. For now, let's just enjoy the moment."

"Elizabeth… How did you do that? Even with all of our energy, we cannot bring someone back to life. So how is that with you performing the spell, it was successful?" Solaad asked, picking up the sword. She smiled a little. "I honestly had no idea that would work. I hoped, of course, but I had no way of knowing for sure."

Ludociel barked out a tired laugh. "You are far too modest, Lady Elizabeth." He turned to the gathered celestials. "She is more powerful than even I or Mael are at our strongest, when she wishes to be. Her healing powers far surpass even the best of our other healers. She is able to remove the darkness from even Indura’s, and has done so before, purifying two Indura demons at the same time. Her formal title is Elizabeth Lightbringer." He gave a small smirk as he added on one more tidbit of information. "Daughter of the Supreme Deity."

Gasps echoed through the crowd, and Elizabeth sighed. "Please, it's really not that big of a deal-" "But it is, Elizabeth." Mael said, with a brilliant smile. "Of the goddesses, you are second in power and ability only to your mother. In the rest of the world. Well. You married your equal." He nodded his head at Meliodas, who returned it with a smirk. 

The two brothers walked off, shooting the crowd and, specifically, the demons and Elizabeth, grateful smiles. Meliodas clapped and rubbed his hands, wings taking shape on his back. "I'm hungry. I'll catch a sky fish, and you'll teach me how to cook one. Deal? Deal!" He flung off the ground and Elizabeth bristled, bolting after him. "YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO COOK, YOU'LL POISON US!!" He just cackled. 

[pandoras-princess]

Next Best Thing (Tommy Shelby x fem!reader, John Shelby x fem!reader)

*gif not mine//credit to the owner

A/N: Woop wooop! Helloooo my lovely peoples!! 🌸 yes I am wayyy overly excited because this part just came out so effortlessly so I am hyper af 💃💃 I am very happy to welcome you to part three, and while it may seem a little lacklustre, it’s the lead up to the final part which will be show stopping material and I hope you’ll agree 🤗 you have all been so nice and absolutely amazing about this fic and I appreciate it so much I can’t wait to bring you part four 🥰🥰🥰 but let me shut up and get to it. Happy Reading Peoples! 🥳🥳 as ever I appreciate every like, reblog and follow, feedback is always welcome 😌

P.S: Y/N/N = your nickname

Summary: Fantasies are shattered and dreams come true as Y/N navigates her way through this messy love triangle...

Pairing: (OOC) Tommy Shelby x fem!reader, John Shelby x fem!reader

Warnings: Violence, swearing, blood, alcohol

PART ONE PART TWO PART FOUR

━◦ ♡ ◦━◦ ♡ ◦━◦━◦ ♡ ◦━◦ ♡ ◦━

“What can I get ya?” You shout to the burly man on the other side of the bar.

“Two whiskeys and a pint of beer love!”

The buzz of the crowd continues to drown out your voice, which not only made your job unnecessarily hard, but also provided a little tune for the tiny men occupying your skull to hammer away to, so it turns out.

Little hairs lining your throat were long since singed and a dull ache seeps through the bones in your feet as you set about preparing the next round of drinks.

Quickly scanning the area to your left, a smile spreads across your face when you land on the pair of ice blue eyes you were after, his cheeky wink inspiring a new burst of energy in your overworked muscles.

That smile drops as quickly as it spreads; the once friendly and loving gaze of your best friend now replaced with a cold glare.

In the weeks that had followed your last encounter John hadn’t been near or by the house, and every time you had a shift at the Garrison he was conveniently held up elsewhere. It was the longest you’d ever gone without speaking to him and it was safe to say you couldn’t take much more.

One of these days you’d have your old Johnny back, you thought.

One of these days...

“Where’ve all the glasses gone?”

“Out there.”

Harry’s thumb jerks in the direction of the ever growing crowd, earning an all too familiar groan in response.

‘Get a job you said... it’ll be fun you said... it’s just pulling pints!’

You disappear into the sea of people grumbling to yourself, only managing to grab four empty pints before you begin to carve a route back. Your struggle - along with your mood - was only to be made worse as you near two men in the midst of an argument, the stench of beer and stale cigarettes rudely invading your senses.

“Excuse me!”

“What yerr shaying about me wife” the large man slurs, entirely oblivious to your presence behind him.

“Excuse me!”

Nothing.

“Excuse m-”

You watch, frozen in horror, as his fist connects with the second man’s jaw, sending the large brute hurtling into you.

Crashing to the ground, a pained scream tears from your throat.

Tommy - who was engrossed in a conversation with his two brothers - hadn’t witnessed you get hurt, but he definitely heard it.

He shoves his way through the crowd until he is met with your body hunched over, quietly whimpering as you attempt to dislodge shards of glass from your right palm. His eyes follow the steady stream of blood trickling down your arm and any facade he held about your relationship quickly fades away.

“You’ve hurt my girl.”

He rounds on the man responsible, nostrils flaring and lips snarling as he reaches for the deadly cap atop his head.

Despite being a good foot taller, the stranger shrinks away, vigorously shaking his head as he rushes to apologise.

“I’m so-sorry Tom real sorry. It- it was an accident I didn’t know she was y-yours ho-honest!”

“I suggest you leave.” Tommy spits out. “That goes for everyone. Leave, now!”

The once jolly punters trip over themselves to squeeze through the narrow doors. Within a matter of minutes the pub is empty and Tommy is crouched at your side inspecting the cuts.

John remains in his seat, jaw set and knuckles white, as Tommy scoops you up and disappears into the office.

He carefully lowers you onto the desk; a warm kiss lingering on your forehead as he’s tending to your injuries.

“You’re okay Princess” he mumbles wrapping a bandage around your hand. Whether he was reassuring you or himself you weren’t quite sure. But thoughts of any kind are banished from your mind as he draws you into a kiss.

His lips are chapped and salty as they move against yours. It was slow and it was sweet. It was the kind of kiss that called every hair to attention; the kind of kiss that replays in your mind as you drift to sleep.

Without warning Tommy is ripped away from you, an involuntary yelp slipping out at the sudden loss of contact. Brain scrambling to make sense of it all you soon zone in on John’s forearm tight against Tommy’s throat pinning him to the wall.

“You bastard! I warned you- I warned you to stay away from her! She’s not one of your little whores you can pick up and fuck off when you get bored. I fucking told you to stay away!”

“What do you mean, you warned him?”

The quietness that followed easily could’ve been passed off as nobody hearing your question. And it probably would’ve been, if you hadn’t seen the slight drop of John’s head.

It was physically impossible for him to ignore you; it always had been.

Tommy took this opportunity to push his younger brother away and the two men stood glaring daggers at each other, embroiled in an argument only they were privy to.

“Tommy, what’s he talking about?!” You ask your boyfriend, who was now unable to meet your eye.

Once again your question is met with silence.

“Will somebody bloody answer me!”

Your small hands ball into fists at your sides as you look between them.

John’s face softens when he finally looks at you, the confusion that passes over your delicate features serving to break his heart further.

The guilt that flashes in his eyes as he threads a hand through his hair adds to your impatience. “Well get on with it then!”

“He knew, Y/N/N, that you liked him. He knew because he read your diary. He already knew and he had it all planned out in his little fucking mind the minute you asked him for the job. Why’d ye think he said yes? I told him-” an accusatory finger points at Tom standing a few feet away “-you weren’t to be played with, and now look!”

You fail to register John lunging at Tom. You fail to register the scuffle that ensues as a result. You fail to register Polly screaming at the top of her lungs to separate the brawling idiots.

Piece by piece, memory by memory, your new found utopia crumbles between your fingers and you stand, completely oblivious to your surroundings, as everything clicks into place.

“You knew?” You whisper, inching towards Tommy.

He watches you shift from confusion to anger to disgust as the revelation sinks in, shredding through the trust he’d so effortlessly built. And he was utterly powerless to stop it.

“The whole time... you knew? When you came to me and- and asked me to... you knew?!”

His mouth opens, but the words escape him.

With a final shake of your head, your trembling figure retreats from the office; the following slam of the double doors eliciting a flinch from everyone.

The parilysis subsides, and he jams his finger into John’s chest. “You have no fucking idea.”

“Y/N wait.”

Your feet cry out and your muscles scream in protest as you storm down the cobbled road, Tommy hot on your heels. But with the searing pain in your hand creeping up your wrist, you push on, desperate to escape any person with Shelby as their last name.

“Y/N please I can explain!”

“You can explain? You can explain?!” Shrieking you finally give in to the blind rage that threatens to consume you.

“You can explain what exactly Thomas? You can explain how you violated every ounce of trust we’ve ever had? You can explain how you thought it’d be a good old laugh to have me convince the man I was hopelessly in love with to marry someone else?! You can explain how the past 7 months - everything between us - was one big lie! You don’t need to explain anything Tom, honest. It all seems pretty fucking clear to me.”

Tommy watches your hands wave and point and clap and throw themselves in the air as the anger pours out of your every word. See, it was a tough one for him really. On the one hand, he’d really fucked up and the least he could do was pay attention to the scolding he was rightfully due. On the other, you were so god-damned irresistible when you were angry it was driving him mad.

“God Tommy! I thought you were different! I actually thought you were fucking different. I thought you loved me, not as a lie, not out of fear, but honest true love. And that’s the worst part, really Tom, it’s not that you pulled the wool over my eyes, no no, it’s that I fooled myself into thinking this was actually real! I should’ve known I was just another pawn in your stupid game.”

Whirling around, you resume your getaway.

“If this was all a game, why would I have this?”

When your body slowly turns back to face him, Tommy knows the argument is done.

“What are you...” your voice trails off as you find Tom on one knee in the middle of the deserted street.

He held a little black box, and in that little black box sat a gold ring set with a diamond so flawless it remained sparkling under the gloomy skies of Small Heath, and a sapphire so blue you’d get lost at sea if you dared to stare too long.

“I do love you Y/N, have done for a while. Not as a game, not until I get bored, just honest true love.”

Tommy moves to stand in front of you, stopping inches from the tip of your nose. He takes your left hand and slides the ring onto your fourth finger with ease, pausing to admire the look of the gold metal against your smooth skin.

“I had to ask you to convince John or you’d still be in love with him today, wasting away oblivious to how much you’re really worth. Yes I had a plan when this started, but I could never have planned falling in love with you-”

Chapped lips graze over your knuckles, kissing each one softly.

“-I could never have planned the amount of time I spend thinking about you in your absence-”

His lips brush over your wrist, leaving pecks along the length your arm.

“-and I could never plan the desperate need to hold you in my arms, to see your smile and hear your laugh and cherish you, because you’re the only thing in this god foresaken world that can keep the storms at bay.”

His feather-light kisses trail over your shoulder and along the curve of your neck, stopping just above your lips in an undeclared challenge. You close the distance, hungrily drawing his bottom lip between your teeth as his fingers tug at your roots, deepening the kiss.

The intoxicating taste of sweet smoke and Irish whiskey sweeps over your tastebuds and you tangle your fingers in his soft brown tresses.

Reluctantly separating a few seconds later, you’re both left panting as you make up for the lack of air. His hands make themselves at home on your waist, whilst yours settle comfortably on his chest.

“You know... I never did say yes” you smirk, twisting the gold band around your finger.

“Mm it was implied.”

So caught up in the joys of young love were you and your fiancé, that you failed to notice the wooden doorway supporting John’s weight as he watched in the distance...

[stxleslyds]

MY TOUGHTS ON PART THREE OF RED HOOD BY CHIP ZDARSKY :)

A DC RENDITION OF THE SONG “MOTHER KNOWS BEST” FROM TANGLED.

Here I will leave the links to my reviews of Part 1 and Part 2

Well, here we are, three issues in this story of only six parts and i still cant tell if i like it or not. What i know for sure tho is that Zdarsky never read any Red Hood books, i had my suspicions but now i am at least 95% sure.

This Jason has been nerfed. We had a perfectly balanced Jason back in 2005 he was smart, skilled, confident and strategic. Then from 2011 to 2020 (let’s put the fact that Lobdell is trash aside for a moment) Jason was skilled, he had the whole “chosen one” thing going on with the all-castle, and in some moments you could even see him being quick witted and confident. But now in this first half of this story he is extremely insecure, his skill set and expertise is barely there and is presented as just reckless. 

The other day i was talking about how DC treats Jason, how they just can’t decide on who he is, what motivates him or what he wants. His personality is a whole ass mess, it was fine in 2005 and 2010 when Winick wrote him but then Lobdell from years 2011 to 2020 just couldn't decide what he wanted to do with Jason or his relationship with Batman and his rules. After Lobdell finally left Jason was passed around people who either only read Lobdell's work, or didn't read anything from him or didn't take into account Jason's life because their book was set in a future that may never happen. 

What i am trying to say is that Jason doesn't have a personality, and writers don't really add things to the Jason that we “know”, what they do is start his story from zero over and over again. There is no consistency to Jason's character and while you could argue that maybe this new start could be the definite version of Jason Todd/Red Hood i will point out that this nerfed version of him is a major disservice to the character that he was when he was brought back to DC.

It’s simply not nice. 

And in this particular issue the “Jason isn't that good at this whole vigilante gig” is even more pushed because of the whole “batman knows best” bullshit. I am not getting this (anthologies) book with a Red Hood story just for Batman to come in and be like “I am actually good at this job, you know nothing AND i have the moral high-ground”, this is NOT it.

If you are reading a Red Hood story chances are that you will be interested in Red Hood not Batman. 

Oh one more thing, Jason was an excellent Robin. He was kind, smart and skilled. I liked the flashbacks in UtRH because it showed Jason being all that but he also understood a couple of things about the kind of criminals that Gotham had, your common thug is easily scared of the concept of Batman but the dress-ups knew that no matter what they did the Bat would never kill them, that’s what Jason thought about criminals there.

This Robin Jason is treated rather poorly by Zdarsky at times, he feels insecure and inferior to Dick but he is also dismissive of him and the Robin mantle in the first issue, now in this one he is shown as way too reckless (which is kinda bad because it feeds into DCs favorite trope of “Jason’s death was Jason’s fault”) and his stance on “low level” criminals is weird, like it was made clear that drug related criminals are Jason’s biggest issue, thieves were not. 

Those are my general thoughts on this issue and the current state of Jason’s characterization. I have some panels from this issue that i want to talk about in more depth tho, so here we go. 

The issue stars were we left off once more, Tyler defends Jason and when Batman asks who he is Tyler says that he is the Blue Hood, that was really sweet of him, that child is adorable and he needs to be protected. 

Once the Bat distracts Tyler Jason tells the Bat that the man he killed was Tyler’s dad. 

There are a couple of things i want to point out from these panels, Jason feels incredibly guilty, not about killing Andy but about leaving Tyler in a situation that is similar to the one he was left in when his own mother died. He still believes that Andy was not a good man and deserved to be dead, after all he was drugging his own son and was the reason Tyler’s mom overdosed and is now in the hospital. It just hits incredibly close to home for Jason and i understand completely. 

The other thing i want to point out is that Jason says “I know your rules. No killing in Gotham” so, this is (to me) confirmation that Jason hasn’t killed in a long time and that he has been sticking to the Bat's rules (at least in Gotham). Andy (a drug-dealer) is the only person that Jason has killed since the events of UtRH (that are apparently canon in this story because it was mentioned in the first issue). 

Following this conversation the Bat says that he will take care of Tyler’s mother (yikes, i really thought in my last post that Jason was the one who would have tried to get her the help she needed, to me it seems more appropriate if Jason does it given that this is his story but what do I know) 

This is where this Red Hood story transforms into the Batman show.

Not only will Bruce take care of Tyler's mom but he will clean up the mess and shut down the making of the drug all by himself. Jason tells him that he will do it but the Bat tells Jason that if he wants to do it they will have to do it together because there is no way he is letting Jason out of his sight, he made a mess!

Yes, nothing like making the lead character look incompetent at his job. Love that for Jason.

Before the team up starts Batman and Red Hood go to Leslie's place to leave Tyler with her. This is a good moment only because there is a dog involved, well…Tyler, Jason and a dog are involved, best panel in the whole issue? I think yes.

Maybe I have a couple more panels that are my favs in this issue, here they are, a lil bit of positivity in this extra bitter post.

Now I will be honest, I hate Batman (Bruce’s Batman, love Dick Bats he was the MVP) so him saying that he is helping a Robin makes me want to shoot him. You are not helping; you are overtaking, as you do. Never a team player, the Batgod must always be the center of the show.

Back in the new cave Bruce talks to Jason about the drug and who he thinks might be behind it's production. He also makes sure to let Jason know that he is very smart and might be the only person outside of Crane's circle that knows how analyze a very unstable compound…weird flex but okay. He also teases Jason about his detective skills. Yay.

Flashback time! Get ready!

Robin Jason and Batman are at a crime scene and Jason doesn’t seem to be in the mood to play CSI: Gotham with Bruce.

At one moment Jason says “and then we will stomp the guy who did this” (“this” being murder), which makes Jim Gordon (who came to see if batman was done playing Sherlock Holmes) uncomfortable, so Batman tells Jason to wait for him. As Jason is going he sees someone acting suspicious.

Back to present day Batman and Red Hood are visiting the woman that created the compound that makes Fear Gas, the interrogation starts well but because this is the Batman show and Jason is bad at reading people and asking questions we have a scene that shows Jason being a bit too much.

I honestly thought that the first question was fair, but then after they leave the office they were in Batman basically goes on a rant about the things that Jason missed.

Ok, I get it Batman = good vigilante. Red Hood = Incompetent.

Zdarsky is honestly trying to make us believe that Jason hasn’t picked up any of those things, in his years as Robin with Batman AND Nightwing? They both taught him, there is no way Jason doesn’t know the basics of how to read people. Also do you guys remember Jason in UtRH and Lost Days? That guy read people perfectly, how is UtRH canon in this story, did Jason lose his skills in the explosion when he blew up the Joker?

As if that wasn’t enough Batman calls Red Hood reckless after they don’t agree on what to do next.

To this I say the following: Never again make me believe that Jason will willingly work with Batman. They don’t work together and neither are willing to meet each other halfway, even less let the other lead. This makes the idea of Jason following the Bat’s rules and him being part of the “Batfamily” the joke that it actually is.

They don’t work well together anymore; bring duality back to Gotham 2021.

Back in the past where the previous flashback is resumed we have Jim telling Batman that the new Robin seems a bit too rough around the edges. Did Jim ever meet Dick as Robin? I mean, don’t get me wrong, Dick was a sweetheart but he also beat criminals alongside batman every night. It just doesn’t feel like what Jason said was that much of a violent statement or anything, maybe I just don’t get it.

But don’t worry if you don’t get it, because we are shown Robin Jason going after that suspicious man, he is beating him asking if he knows anything about the murder or what exactly he was doing so close to the crime scene when Batman arrives. Through Batman we are told that that man was no longer a criminal, to which Jason says this, “…The guy is a jewel thief! He will always be a thief” and Batman responds “I refuse to believe that. Didn’t I meet you in the middle of stealing the Batmobile’s tires?”

I can’t believe Bruce went full “It’s over Jason. I have the moral high ground” on Robin Jason.

I mean Jason is OOC, we know this, but he has to be that way in order to make Batman look better when compared to a child. DC hates Jason Todd #Confirmed.

It kinda reminds me of that thing DC does with Dick and Barbara, Dick is skilled and smart as long as Barbara isn’t in the room, if she is then Dick will forget to check if there is someone inside his apartment and then be thrown across the room by her and then be told that he sucks at putting security in his living space.

Moving on...back to the present one last time Jason is interrogating a man while he dangles him from the edge of a building (did Dick teach him that? I bet he did.) After getting some information he calls Oracle so he can make sure that the place he is going to is safe. Oracle tells him the she will help him but she did not like the fact that the last time she helped him someone ended up dead.

Now, fair warning, Barbara and Jason big NO for me and after Geoff Johns and his antics in Three Jokers I have zero love for their “team-ups”.

Jason says this, 

Believing in him? Excuse me? Chonky, baby, she only helped you find a building.

All I can do at this point is pray to whichever god or whoever hears that this does not lead to Jason pinning for Barbara. We don’t need it (Barbara doesnt need it), I might be overreacting, I hope I am, but nobody wants that kind of drama right now, thanks.

When he arrives to the place he was looking for I think everyone can tell that it’s a trap, everyone but Jason apparently. 

How on earth does Jason not realize it’s a trap up until it’s too late? Are you joking? Is this a Red Hood story? Are we really doing this? Just how incompetent is Jason in Zdarsky’s eyes?

Freeze…is it Freeze? I don’t care but he is there, he freezes Jason and that’s the end of the issue.

Listen, I wish I could say that this is the worst Jason has been treated and that this book is horrible, I wish but I can’t. I can’t do it because this isn’t the worst characterization or book of Jason, this is still a pretty good story, could it be better? Yes.

I mean this story is written by someone who obviously doesn’t know Jason and that sucks but it still isnt the worst characterization and it messes me up. Three Jokers was worse than this, certain plot decisions in Future State: Red Hood were worse than this (in my opinion) and Lobdell’s New52 RHatO was pure trash (that is the worst book, just horrible please dont read it). 

I am saying this only to make it clear that even tho this issue was painful (mostly if you don’t like Batman) I still have hope that it can turn out to be good. I cant help it, i want and need this story to be good and there is still time for it to get better. 

Alright thats all i have to say, let me know what you thought about this issue and my review, bye!

[shadowdianne]

Fic writer review [Or a fic writer tag game if you prefer]

I was tagged by @naralanis and I can already see her grin all the way from where I am xd Thank you, dear, for the tag, let’s see what are my answers, shall we.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

*bursts out laughing* Adding both pseuds I have… 535 according to the account info but by counting them all I’m reaching 541 so I’m guessing it’s counting some drafts I need to re-find.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

I seriously hated you for this one xd I was going to do it by hand by I decided one-third there that I value my mental stability a little bit more xd according to the stats page back at a03 that number would be 1257884. It may be wrong. I think there should be a few more numbers up there but the majority of my works are one-shots so *shrugs* There’s also the fact that counting my ao3 things only is shaving off like half of it Xd Anyway, can we laugh at the fact that I’m a pain in the ass and that I’ve written a lot? More than I should have, that’s for sure

3. How many fandoms have you written for?

Trick question because I haven’t crossposted everything I wrote back in ffnet and I actually erased some fics from my account back there so the numbers are a little blurry there.

When I had the entirety of my work posted both in ffnet and a03 I had written for: Twilight (Bella/Alice) Glee (Faberry and there were a couple Pezberry and I don’t fucking remember the pairing name for Santana and Quinn), Harry Potter (Hermione/Ginny, Hermione/Narcissa, Hermione/Bellatrix) OUAT (SwanQueen and several oneshots focusing on the mad hatter and the blue fairy solely back at ffnet that were written in Spanish and never translated), I actually had a veeeery old au prompt of Frozen (Elsanna in where I wrote them as non sibilings), Rizzoli and Isles (Rizzles), Dishonored 2 (Emily Kaldwin/Alexi Mayhew), Lara Croft and Wonder Woman, Supergirl (SuperCorp/Supercat) I had a 100 one -or maybe two??- (Clexa), The Shannara Chronicles (Amberle/Eretreia [Or Princess Rover], Rwby [Blake Belladona/Yang], The Worst Witch (Hecate Hardbroom and Pippa Pentangle), The Half of it, Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (Madam Satan/Zelda Spellman) and… I think that’s it(?) I may be forgetting some but probably nothing important if I’m not remembering it lol.

4. Top 5 fics by kudos?

Ah, we are going to go there, uh? Xd My works are not the kudos and comment getting type Xd So I was quite surprised when I went to check this.

1: Cracked it I wrote this one back in 2017, it was a prompt done by an anon: Lena is nerding with one of her projects at home, mumbling mostly to herself because she’s stuck and Kara casually mentions how to solve the problem like it’s nothing. I really had some fun with this. It was back when some us, SQeeners were fully doing the jump between OUAT and SuperGirl (I mean, there had already been some crossover as for fandom is related but this when the girls were actually getting their conjoined voice within the fandom)

2: Dateless I honestly needed to check what this one was about but I think I can see why this one shot has the amount of kudos it has. It’s a short and sweet idea and responds to the Teachers Au that went SO well with SQ. Everyone thinks they hate each other and try to set them up with other people whilst they, in truth, are dating. I don’t remember if I wrote them as married rather than dating but despite being from 2017 as well is one cheeky enough to be cool Xd I probably would edit some lines now *shudders*

3: After you I truly didn’t expect this one to be top 3. Makes me think of a lot of things, if I’m being honest Xd. After you was a one shot written almost feverishly as an answer to the fabulous drawings that Sejic did of both Lara Croft and Wonder Woman back at 2018 or something. It’s just Lara and Diana being himbos but not at all with each other.

4: How about… How about is one I remember perfectly, it was my answer to the ending of the Half of it film. I had SOME thoughts about it, let’s just stop there Xd I really liked the film itself but I think and I thought at the time that my response to wishing for a final scene at the very end of the credits responds to me being in a different personal moment than the characters. I really wanted to explore my feelings about it and so I wrote about them finding each other again after some time passes. It was also something I wrote after quite the hiatus so I took it as something I could write about without focusing too much on the why.

5: Come to me

Ahh, SuperCorp Xd I remember this one actually. A friend of mine and I were talking about descriptions, and she mentioned quite off-handedly how she wanted a fic in where Kara’s back was described. I complied… more or less.

Fun tidbit, despite the big volume of my work is obviously set in ouat there’s only 1 SQ fic there as you can see, the others are either SuperCorp or the random one shots I created for Wonderwoman/Lara Croft and The half of it. *sighs in deep thought* I’m also not going to look too much into how almost all of the fics were posted and written back in 2017. Nope, not at all.

*Small voice screaming you peaked in 2017 and everything else is garbage jumps back and forth*

5. Do you respond to comments? Why/why not?

I tend to always respond, yup. I truly value comments. I might have gone for spells of time in where I didn’t have the mental capacity to check in old fics because I truly didn’t know what to answer but I treasure every single comment and you all who comment know that I can start to ramble in the answers xd -sorry about that- I really really REALLY love interaction.

6. A fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending:

Ok, Nara, come on, this one is a catch for me. I’ve written angst in far too many fics to remember the angstiest one :P I have the most recent one, though, that is the easy one to think about: Goodbye.Written for @delirious-comfort. I’m just going to say “Kisses with their last dying breath” as an idea of what awaits inside but I’ve written about death and loss and angst quite a lot. There were some I wrote back to SQ with Regina needing to kill Emma during the Dark Swan arc that, to this day, I still love and some others in where Regina is the one that dies, again and again, trapped by magic while Emma watches. I have the loss in mental destruction form and… I REALLY like my angst y’know xd

7. Do you write crossovers?

Not counting Lara and Wonder Woman not really! I think it comes from the fact that I loooove worldbuilding as a whole and some pairings would require all my focus into making the world perfect which in turn would make me self conscious on the OOCness of it all.

8. Ever received hate on a fic?

*snorts* I’ve received hate due to the pairing I’ve written about, how I’ve written about it, the amount I’ve written, how slow or quick I can be, the usage of some tropes, the lack of usage of those same tropes… Let’s just go with: yuuuup.

9. Do you write smut?

I’ve written smut, yeah! But I can already see the pointed looks of some so let’s elaborate Xd I write smut when asked and sometimes when not asked but there’s a part of me I like to call a terrible tease that prefers writing the beginning of a scene, taunt it, focus on what happens before the sex scene per se as I find it more enjoyable to write. The process of escalation is always the best for me to see what can I do it by using both dialogue and descriptors tbh, so I tend to tease more than show.

9. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

A few weeks ago I’d have said: Maybe(?) But trying to follow the trail of some other fics that had been stolen from some friends -I think it was me trying to find more about the page that stole something from your Nara!- I found some pages in where my fics had been reposted. In some it was stated that the person posting the fic wasn’t the author but I had never been contacted in order to see if I’d say yes to such a thing and in some others the page was locked up but I could still see someone was pretending to be the author. I did the thing and got some of those down.

Pointed note: Ask me if you want to post or translate or anything. I will look into you and answer you if you seem honest about the thing. But despite every joke and self-deprecating comment those 500 and then some fics represent MY time so very kindly I say fuck off to those who wish to steal from me and if I catch you… you don’t really want to see me angry, trust me.

10. Ever had a fic translated?

I’ve given permission to some, yeah, but never heard it back from them so I’m guessing it didn’t stick.

12. Have you ever co-written a fic?

I’ve written series alongside other authors as @stregaomega for example. And some others that are unpublished -looking at you @carsonnieve - I’ve also done collabs… but fics co-written in the sense of two authors same chapters I don’t have anything posted I’m afraid :P

13. All-time favourite ship?

*snorts*, I guess the obvious answer is SQ uh? And I do think they were the ones that allowed me to read and write SO much. The one I feel more strongly about, however, is Bering and Wells from Warehouse 13.

14. WIP you want to finish, but don’t think you ever will?

All of them counts as a valid answer? But if I only could finish one that would be Arcadia. With A forgotten Promise second and the one I did as an Assassins Creed AU third. (I don’t remember the name so there’s no link, sorry xd)

15. Writing strengths?

Uhhhh, you REALLY want me to say that? I don’t fucking know!! To me everything I write is garbage. I always try to go for the feelings so I guess. Dunno xd I’ve been told I’m good at worldbuilding and to be honest is what I enjoy the most.

16. Writing weaknesses?

Everything Xd Pacing? What I hate the most sometimes is dialogue, I would count it as a weakness but I’m always far too focused on description rather than dialogue. I don’t think it’s a bad thing per se but it’s something that I don’t do as much.

17. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in a fic?

I’m conflicted. Always. Majorly because I think that having bilingual characters in fanfiction is portrayed and expected in a way that I don’t feel it’s honest with how bilingual people -us- talk. So if I go by what I know I do I think it’s not what readers hope to see when it comes to that and if I go for how canonically is hoped to be found I don’t think it’s logical. But that’s me and my overthinking Xd If I have the option I like to do it.

18. First fandom you ever wrote for?

Belice! Or Bella/Alice. Worst first fic ever but oh, well, I’m always saying that :P

19. What’s your fav fic you’ve written so far?

Uhh… Don’t make me do this XD Agh, I don’t know. I’ve always been very vocal about Metallic Ink because I let myself enjoy the process of creating a magic system almost out of zero and that was fun. Despite hating some of the writing process and that I’d do it differently now I think I’m going to stick with that answer. Or anything that had any steampunk-based undertone. To be honest I like more thinking of concepts, I had one in where Emma was a thief and it involved the robbery of a ring that was Regina’s one way ticket to freedom I then later repurposed that I adored thinking about so let’s go with…. Yeah, I love having the option of changing things up a little and focus on how characters would fit in different aesthetics for this one Xd

Annnd… these are four pages, gods. I’m just going to tag @waknatious @carsonnieve @stregaomega here and see what they do- Enjoy the questionnaire ladies :P

[rpbetter]

PSA - Positivity

Yes, positivity is important. No, not all positivity is the same, and when we talk about “positivity” in the RPC, we need to be aware of that.

I know it’s a hard pill to swallow, but a lot of the “positivity” around is performative positivity, passive positivity. It’s neither helpful nor all that positive. It’s just yelling about and pressuring for positivity, while expending no personal effort to give meaningful acts of any such thing. If you really give a shit about “spreading positivity,” uplifting mutuals and the community, you won’t balk at this. You’ll assess your behavior and try to do better.

Examples of some passive/performative positivity:

reblogging statements like “we NEED to get back into the habit of POSITIVITY” and adding tags or direct statements on the reblog that you “better see everyone reblogging this” and stopping there, with a demanding threat of, at least, shaming

copy-paste, especially anonymous, positivity chain messages (that frequently cite things contrary to the mun and/or muse’s characteristics/personality/writing)

reblogging the “I actually enjoy seeing this user on my dash” and/or “I actually like following this user” etc. style posts - it’s honestly not positive, you’re implying that you don’t like seeing, following, or interacting with some, and the overall tone of the post and action is once again shaming and demanding (not to mention, everyone else’s dash is nothing but this shit while 10+ mutuals wank over each other in this manner)

reblogging PSA’s about how to spread meaningful positivity, then doing none of it

sending an emoji meme in that denotes extremely simplistic ideas of what you like about the poster, leaving it at that

random posts of how much you love everyone, citing exactly nothing or the same handful of easy to throw out, applies to a large amount of people (or it doesn’t, but we all know everyone wants to feel like they write well, have interesting muses, etc. and it plays into this) - you sound like that drunken person every bar has that goes off about how much they LOVE EVERYONE SO MUCH, not like you’re actually encouraging anyone specifically

blowing smoke up people’s asses/using requests for concrit to do nothing but give useless ass-pats about how infinitely great they are in all areas of writing and portrayal

Examples of some meaningful positivity:

engaging with partners and mutuals on their posts - liking headcanons, commenting on answered memes, liking/commenting on OOC posts

getting specific about what you enjoy in their writing, their muse portrayals, threads, headcanons, instead of the copy-paste or emoji route

appreciating mutuals and partners in visible ways (like those stated above, sending ask memes, paying attention to what they post and their muses, showing them respect and interest as real human beings) regularly, without prompting or being guilted and shamed into it

being honest, but polite and respectful, when a mutual posts a meme requesting concrit/asking what you like about the muse or writing and what you’d encourage growth with

when sending an emoji meme in about why you follow, what you like, why you stayed etc. add something to it that is specific about why

responding to replies OOC (where applicable, not all partners mesh well enough for this or desire much OOC conversation), telling them not only that you got it and liked it, but what you specifically enjoyed the most in the reply

seriously, be specific when giving positivity, your partners and mutuals are individuals and deserve to be treated as such with receiving specific-to-them comments on their writing

generally, being respectful of others - the whole environment is far more positive when you read and respect rules, boundaries, and muses, even if that means respecting that you and another mun might not work out together

It’s a minimal effort to actually bother with paying attention to the people you interact with, to take the attention you’ve paid and apply it to meaningful, individual commentary and actions. If you cannot handle this, you have too many people to deal with in a respectful, adult way they deserve...or you may want to reassess whether you have the time, attention span, motivation, and are at the right mental space in your life to be in a hobby that requires interaction with other people.

Giving people lazy “positivity” so that you feel you’ve done what you need to in order to be A Good RPer isn’t positive. It’s kind of insulting, actually. If, IRL, someone told you and the five people nearest to you identical compliments, would overhearing this make you feel good about yourself? Positive? Visible as a person? It wouldn’t, no. So, don’t do it here.

Legitimate positivity doesn’t mean constantly forcing yourself out of your comfort zone OOC, either. Your social anxiety and social deficits aren’t a sufficient excuse; you and every other person here has these complications. I have those complications!

If you find yourself still vehemently pissed at me for saying that, may want to rant back at me about how ableist this is, here’s some things I, a person with social limitations, high distraction, and serious anxiety do:

commenting on comment-appropriate posts something specific ( “the freckle on your cat’s foot is so cute!” “I love how you addressed x in that headcanon” etc.) when I am in a good space to do so

liking posts - OOC posts, meme answers and muse questionnaires that were great whether I’m tagged/sent in the ask or not, PSA’s and resources I think are good

reblogging PSA’s, resources, and other things I know are important to the mun to have shared that I agree with

sending in ask memes, sometimes even just on anon to mutuals I don’t write with - everyone wants to be sent something, this is a great way to allow others to respond to questions no one else might ask them

anonymous, positive comments on their muse, writing, blog that are, again, specific in detail

trying to note when a mutual, even one I don’t interact with really, is clearly needing a boost in confidence or interest, being sure to send a meme or something else in to them when I can

being aware of my partners and mutuals so that I can send them, when the opportunity is present with memes or requests for asks, questions on topics I think they’d like an excuse to discuss (someone keeps posting images or commentary in tags about a muse’s pet, clothing interests, hobbies, mental health, whatever, but no one is biting, for example)

The majority of the above can be done without direct, consistent OOC conversation, and much of it can be done on anon. Sometimes, it makes people feel extra good to feel like they have a secret admirer, a mysterious mutual or partner who is paying attention and valuing their posts. It sounds ridiculous, but it’s true. Especially because so many of us have trouble with random, long, or consistent OOC discussions; sending them on anon means that the receiver doesn’t feel obligated to contact and converse with you.

Positivity’s point isn’t that it be done out of obligation, guilt, or shame. Neither is it to be done out of performative, passive, often enough even vaguely virtue-signaling, or clique-like, circular gushing about each other for an hour repetitively. It isn’t to make you feel like A Good Person, or to show the RPC that you are a model RPer, you care so deeply about the RPC that you...can’t be bothered to expend the personalized effort and pay attention to those on your dash.

If you really care about positivity in the RPC, you need to stop doing it in hollow, meaningless ways.

You need to stop demanding, threatening, and shaming others into performative actions with you. It’s not enough to say you care and do something lethargic to show it, you need to actually be bothered to be specific. And if someone doesn’t feel positive, isn’t interested in playing the reblog or chain letter or tag game, leave them the hell alone. They’re not being “negative,” and don’t need to be assaulted with pseudo-positivity. And you know what? Maybe they are being “negative” because it makes them feel positive, and if that’s the case, remove yourself if it bothers you!

Everyone has a right to be themselves and to do what works for them here, that is part of an overall air of positivity in the RPC.

[wrenhyperfixates]

Loki Series Thoughts—The Variant

With the release of episode 2, I’m back with another analysis. Spoilers ahead!! This will be a combination of personal thoughts, theories, and objective analysis. This is overall, a positive review, so if you do not want to see that, I would not recommend continuing to read. I am however more than open to some friendly debate and discussion over any and all of the following points, whether you agree or disagree with them.

With all that being said, let’s dive in:

I feel gypped on the Holding out for a Hero fight scene. I mean, I liked how the scene was shot, especially with the whole loudspeaker thing (it set the mood very well), but where’s Loki fighting to that song?

Alright, I might as well address the elephant in the room: Is Loki OOC? Well, for my money, the answer is both yes and no. And I don’t mean to be wishy-washy; it really kind of depends on how you define OOC and/or who exactly you take this Loki to be.

What does OOC mean? To me, the literal definition of “out of character” would be the character acting in a way unlike they’ve been seen acting before. Likewise, according to Collins Dictionary it would be defined as “not typical of the apparent character of a person or thing.” Now, that’s a bit too black and white. What if you have a character in a new situation, how do you know how they’d react? By analyzing their past actions and seeing if they line up. And if you stop at this point and deem Loki entirely OOC, well you’re allowed to and that’s valid. I, however, would not say entirely is the word to use. Somewhat, yes, but not terribly and not inexcusably so. I’ll come back to this in a moment.

Who is this Loki? He’s the one right after the Avengers, of course, but he’s something different too. Think about it, the whole series is centered around how different choices can shape the very fabric of the universe. Wouldn’t it stand to reason that changes in Loki’s story would cause him to behave differently than what we’ve seen before? This is, in essence, a different Loki, albeit one who’s own narrative is shaped by a shared backstory with ours. It even says it on his jacket in big, bright letters: VARIANT. So while he shouldn’t be too dissimilar from the Loki we know, I do not think we can entirely look to the old to determine the new.

Now that we have that out of the way, we’re back to my somewhat noncommittal answer of the original question. Loki has some moments that seem OOC, but almost always has a (valid) reason for acting that way, both in and out of universe.

Loki’s OOC moments:

◦ The Renaissance Fair: And I by no means think this applies to his whole spiel. In fact, I think it was largely in character. What got me was “Which is absurd, because my people are, by nature, gullible fools. A trait that I, the God of Mischief, exploited time and time again simply by listening.” And then again, right after B-15 announces they are one unit away from red line. Though, my issue with the latter is how rushed it is. This could make sense because he’s worried about having time to finish his ploy. It’s a small thing to harp on for sure, though, for the point I am trying to make.

◦ In the hallway: This is where I think he’s most OOC. It feels rambley and pointless. More a desperate plea than a calculated last resort.

◦ With the librarian: I was hesitant to put this one in, but he seemed a bit unsure at points in his dialogue here. The inflection of his voice in the middle just sounded, like I said, unsure.

◦ The cafeteria (both times): More so in the first. The metaphor was, like Loki himself said, clumsy. But what I really think is OOC here is how excitable and obvious he is after Mobius concedes, “Not bad.” And the only thing on their second cafeteria chat is at the very end. His response of “I know” to being called clever, once again has an inflection to it that I would not typically associate with Loki—it’s too pronounced.

◦ Pompeii (beginning of scene only): Loki seems pretty flippant about the whole thing in the immediate moments after their arrival. (As an aside, I don’t think he’s necessarily unsympathetic here; he knows what happens and to keep himself safe and prove his point, he can’t branch the timeline.) To be quite honest, I think he might just be goading Mobius as he’s done to our God of Mischief many a time already.

◦ Before Roxxcart: He seems nervous, and his speech is a bit rushed again. Then again, this is something he wants—to be better. I’d think he’d be a bit more calm about it, though. Then again, with everything that’s happened recently, maybe it’s a natural response?

The reasons why he seems OOC:

◦ It’s on purpose: He knows what they think of him. If he plays into that, even in an exaggerated way, they’re not going to call bs on it.

◦ He’s been through a lot/Not our Loki: Like I mentioned earlier, not only is this a new environment, it’s a new Loki. He’s been shaped differently from our Loki because of how he was immediately thrust into the world of the TVA after many traumatic experiences.

◦ It’s an acting choice: No, it’s not one you have to agree with. But I believe Tom could be doing it to highlight moments where Loki is saying things he personally does not actually believe or that he knows others believe. Just to distinguish from the more calculated lying he does.

So, are there moments when Loki acts OOC? Yes. Is it inexplicable? No. Are the answers to those questions always the same from person to person? No, because like so many things, it’s all about how you frame it. And, of course, every person perceives each moment of time through their own eyes, with their own thoughts, in their own ways.

Loki has plenty of moments in character, too. In fact, I’d say he was overwhelmingly in character, for my understanding of it. In the earlier parts of the Renaissance Fair he is witty and lying with ease. At all other points that I didn’t mention, I found his vocabulary and inflection perfectly fine. I can’t think of any one moment his hand gestures particularly stuck out to me as out of place. And during his impromptu magic lesson, he seemed so sure of himself. He has snark without being rude. His interactions with “the variant” are on point. Even in the majority of the Pompeii scene, he’s not acting OOC, he’s just acting. He wanted to make an over-exaggerated splash to test his theory. Between that and speaking Latin, aren’t we seeing his cunning and wit?

Well, with that divisive and slightly negative topic out of the way, let’s move onto Mobius, his character, and his role in the show. He’s a bit different than the Mobius we see last time. Don’t get me wrong, there’s still moments where he seems to be manipulating Loki, or at least attempting to (the walk to the elevator; dangling a meeting with the Time Keepers in front of Loki’s face). In episode two, he’s presented as a victim. Mobius is just as much a slave to the “sacred timeline” as those living in it. He can’t go into the world and do the things he wants to do. Even any questions about time that Loki has, he answers seemingly by rote (perhaps drilled into his brain through propaganda?) or he can’t explain well (note, two times he somewhat hesitantly deems what Loki says as “an oversimplification”).

We’re also told that Mobius has a soft spot for broken things. That seems like a bold thing to say if Mobius hasn’t done something big before. Has he possibly ever used a variant like this before? Could he even possibly have a deeper connection to the rouge variant? Probably not on that second one, but it’s not wholly impossible. Though, going back to “has he done this before?” (and get ready for me to get absolutely insane now) do the rings on the table have deeper symbolic meaning pertaining to this? Yes, it could have just been for comedy, it may have just been a cool shot, but why put so much focus and emphasis on it like that with the camera and dialogue if it has no significance. Basically what I mean is, it’s symbolic of Mobius messing up. He messed up Renslayer’s table, maybe he botched a mission. Or maybe he even screwed up when working with another variant. Regardless of whether that’s symbolism, we do see him have a soft spot for the people at the hurricane shelter.

Mobius’s role in episode 1 was trying to break down Loki and recruit him. In this episode, he was more of a guide, more of a friend. Yes, there are lines like at Roxxcart when he says he knows he can’t be trusted, but there’s also a lot of camaraderie between the two. By the time Loki and Mobius are having their second chat in the cafeteria, they seem familiar with each other, engaging in what seems to be a friendly bout of verbal sparring. They seem, at very least, fond of each other, and I believe Mobius is, to some extent, on Loki’s side.

In fact, Mobius and Loki share something in common; they want something more than what the time keepers have preordained for them, even if Loki is more ready to admit that. Mobius is still, however, playing the part he’s been assigned, his “glorious purpose.” And, yes that includes some digs like that at Loki, whether Loki’s in the room or not, and whether they’re subtle or not. Is “I’ll delete him myself. He’s really arrogant.” really a dig though? I mean, it sounds like he could just be saying what Renslayer wants to hear. And when he talks about Loki wanting something more, wanting to change, I don’t think he’s actually talking about Loki. With the inflection and stage whisper, it almost sounds like he’s projecting. Remind you of anyone? Mobius will likely end up helping Loki, or may even turn into a tragic hero, his fatal flaw being his unwillingness to admit the TVA is not infallible.

The TVA workers. Isn’t odd how some of them have names and others don’t? Do they name themselves? More likely, I think whoever is in charge of a branch of the TVA gets a name, and all underlings get the less than human mix of letters and numbers with which to identify themselves. It also seems that the people with the most personality are the ones with names. B-15 has a personality, sure, but it’s more just in line with “I work for the TVA. This is what they want. I will do exactly that.” It’s almost lacking something that the named characters have lying beneath the surface of their character arc.

And then she gets enchanted, and if Wunmi Mosaku wasn’t already shining with the limited story for the character, oh boy she is now. When B-15 comes to, she is scared. It’s on her face and in that little shuddered breath. And when asked what happened, she seemed so unsure, timid. I’m definitely interested to see how that progresses!

Back to the workers in general, they didn’t seem as sad about their coworkers this episode as in the last. Even with C-20 it seemed to be a respect thing. I mean, they reset the timeline with their colleagues lying dead on the floor. I think in a lot of scenarios, dead soldiers would be given a proper burial.

Ravonna Renslayer and the time keepers. Renslayer is even more steadfastly devoted to the sacred timeline and the time keepers than anyone else. Why? Well, I think it’s because she is the time keepers. Any time they’re brought up, it’s quickly explained away with a simple “they’re busy.” That’s because they’re not real. But Renslayer sure seems chummy with them, huh? What other reason then its her timeline she has everyone protecting.

Then again, she may only be second in command, but not to the time keepers. (I mean, omniscient and omnipotent beings who are relatively aloof and unreachable? They’re perfectly set up to be revealed as not real. Plus the constant non-answers when it comes to them, I’ll be more surprised if they’re real than if they’re not.) But in the comics, her plot line is interwoven with that of Kang the Conqueror, a time traveler, among many other things. Even more likely than her being in charge, is him being in charge.

And now for the variant. It’s not Lady Loki, we all know that right? Ok, that comes off a bit harsh, but she is listed as Sylvie in the credits for languages other than English. This was also who Sophia Di Martino was previously listed as on IMDb. I won’t get into her story in the comics now, but I’d bet we’ll take elements of that in her story in the series. And if you’re still not convinced that’s who this is, why have her blonde? It just doesn’t make sense to change that about her. Plus, Sylvie takes on the name of Enchantress. What does Loki say her powers are? Enchantments. She doesn’t want to be called Loki either. She does say the main Loki variant is her, but if she’s framing him or taking on his persona for her crimes, why stop now? Her language is distinctly un-Loki like, too. She also boldly declares “This isn’t about you.” And finally, there’s the foreshadowing in Loki’s line, “I would never treat me like this.”

I only wonder what her motives are. Is she looking for revenge on the Loki from her timeline? Or perhaps she’s working fo him? Maybe he’s dead and she’s avenging him? Or he’s alive and she wants to grab his attention? Maybe she has motives all her own. And what of Mephisto? Does he actually play a part in this? I’m just spitballing, I need more information.

When Loki finds the file. No. Like. Give a detailed description of this please!!!!! He thinks he’s evil. That he causes all that death with malicious intent. Even if he doesn’t, there’s clear pain over the destruction of Asgard. And look at his eyes, the only thing we’re shown as he process the information fully for the first time. He’s hurt, confused. Disappointed and angry with himself. The bit we’re shown of his face before it zooms in on his eyes portrays this too. He looks so lost in that shot. And he looks to be tearing up a bit.

Maybe I’m just being dumb, but what does it mean 9,719 casualties? Didn’t they all escape? His face as the scene zooms back out is... defeated. Scared. Scarred. He’s barely holding it together. Then something else catches his eye, giving him an idea. And I’m sure more than anything he wants to be distracted from the storm in his mind. So yeah, he’ll happily throw himself into his work. The epiphany on his face as he’s still recovering and discovering new things is just so perfect too.

The confrontation at Roxxcart. This was really well done, I felt. Loki felt in character, and he was fighting smartly, using what he could. Because clearly the enchantment also lent Sylvie’s powers to the person. But Loki manages to hang in there and dig for information while keeping the battle going.

He gets mad, too. He starts yelling. And that makes sense. He wants answers, and for so long he’s been denied them; it’s a recurring theme in his life. He’s losing control of himself a bit here. And that’s a large part of the reason why he goes through the time door. Loki doesn’t want to lose control again. I don’t even know if it was exactly a betrayal of the TVA. I don’t think he’s on their side, but I think he just saw that he couldn’t lose the variant again. Because for what he says his plan is, he wouldn’t have followed the variant. However, he does because he wants answers.

What about that plan though? I’m working a bit in reverse with this scene I realize, but bear with me. That look on his face as he stands, it’s calculating. I think he’s lying about his plan. I think he’s trying to bring the variant in, not work with them.

Also, I’m so concerned for C-20. What’s real? I want to know!! But we’re already getting a feel for Sylvie’s powers. The people she enchants live, but they’ve seen something they’d rather not. What other reason is there for the similar way B-15 and C-20 act? And I know she mentions telling Sylvie the time keeper’s location, but really, it’s their location to her knowledge. It doesn’t necessarily mean they exist. Or maybe it’s just Kang.

And Mobius at the very end of this scene, the very end of the confrontation, the very end of the episode. The last thing is him calling after Loki. And he sounds genuine, almost. It didn’t sound like he was fearful for his own life, but rather more worried for Loki. Though, maybe I have that confused and it’s worried about Loki. Whatever the reason, it sounded like genuine fear in his voice to me.

Finally, some random thoughts that didn’t fit anywhere:

Gugu Mbatha-Raw is so talented. I mean, I got a lot of emotion from Renslayer. Confident and proper at the beginning, panicked and afraid at the end. Even in her talks with Mobius, there’s many subtleties to pick apart. I think it’s heavily implied through her words and actions that she’s evil.

The casual magic use was great. Hope there’s more.

Why do setting off reset charges in the main timeline have a different effect than setting them off in the branch timelines? Like shouldn’t it wipe it, not make branches?

Loved all the rapport happening in the episode. There was a lot of good dialogue.

Despite the manipulations going on, I like the relationship forming between Mobius and Loki. I think they make a nice little duo.

I love all the Loki variants we’re shown. Very, very interesting. Just give us Jötunn Loki for real, please.

Loki was very clever this episode, particularly with figuring out you could hide in an apocalypse and at Roxxcart.

Does Roxxcart have a link to Roxxon?

Their little motto thing is a bit creepy. “For all time. Always.” Sounds like it’s just part of their propaganda.

“You see, I know something children don’t. No one bad is ever truly bad. And no one good is ever truly good.” I love this line. Seriosuly, why not use this sound bite in the trailers? Loki himself is morally gray, and I love that we’re addressing this fact of life; the world is not all black and white, not all good and bad.

CASEY!!!

In the second cafeteria scene, there is a guard in full armor just standing there. I guess they’re monitoring the employees. How likely does whoever is in charge think it would be for an uprising of sorts to happen?

Between sleepy Loki, him putting that jacket on, his hair, that talking to himself and that annoyed little shh in the library, and just being the happy goof that he is deep down (Miss Minutes scene and salad metaphor) Loki was just so adorable this episode.

I think it’s important Mobius said sorry when talking about ragnarok. He knows Loki cares.

Mobius does kind of understand Loki when saying he has an “insecure need for validation.” He’s right, honestly, albeit harsh. But that’s all he wanted throughout the Thor movies too, not to be looked down upon. To be treated as equal. As worthy.

Of Mobius’s two options for why he’s sticking his neck out for Loki, I think they both hold some truth.

Interesting how TVA agents like to keep souvenirs from lives they can never live. Though maybe Renslayer keeps them for a different reason. Like from timelines that were particularly a threat to order—her order.

The score is still on point. Loving the theremin.

Wow an explanation pertaining to time travel I’ve found no holes in. It’s unstable and they have to enter in real time (furthest point on the branch) because of that. Ok, yeah. Checks out.

I’m so glad they kept the title card from last week. I like it so much better than the one from the trailers, and it fits the vibe of the show better.

Is it bad I want all these new branches to red line? I think it seems a little too early into the show for that to happen, but maybe a few of them will? Perhaps improbable but not impossible. But think of the chaos! What better playground for the God of Mischief than a universe thrown into disarray.

And now, my final thoughts. A very good episode with a mainly in character Loki. I like how we’re slowly learning more with what’s going on, while still keeping an element of mystery. Though, Marvel’s twists aren’t landing as well as I think they were hoping (assuming I’m right of course. I’ve seen plenty of other people who were thinking along the same lines though, so). It’s lacking a certain je ne sais quoi that Glorious Purpose had, but I still enjoyed it. Overall, 8/10. Let’s just hope my rating doesn’t go down point with every episode.

Like something I said? Totally disagree? Really want to talk more about one point? Whatever it is, I’d love to hear! Reblogs and comments are appreciated. My ask box is always open, and anon is always on. I look forward to hearing your thoughts! Thanks :)

Me, after not liking one, but two episodes:

[iamanartichoke]

[please blacklist spoiler tags: #loki tv series spoilers, #loki series spoilers, #loki spoilers]

Yes, I did just watch episode 2 at 5:30 in the morning.

No, I am not sorry. Not at the moment, although when I inevitably crash later this afternoon, I will be.

Just some very, very quick - and scattered and messy - thoughts: That is a straight up lie; they’re definitely scattered and messy but not very quick at all.

Under the cut for spoilers and length.

I’m going to start with Loki’s characterization. My honest opinion is that Loki’s overall characterization feels like a fic characterization. He definitely is not Avengers Loki, like, at all. I don't know if Tom just, like, forgot how to play that Loki or ...?? That, or Loki was so much more mind-controlled than we realized and getting hulk-smashed just completely reset him back to zero but also fucked him up a little bit and affected his personality, kind of like how some people completely develop weird new personality quirks after a traumatic brain injury.

… yeah, I think that’s where I’m gonna land for now. TV series!Loki feels like a more-or-less canon version of Loki, but if that Loki got hit in the head really hard and now he’s just a little bit fucked up but overall no worse for the wear. Which - it may be that it’s so early in the morning, but that’s actually really fucking funny to me, lmao. God, I kill me. It’s not funny.

No, but, that’s pretty much how I feel. He’s ooc but he’s also ic, and the reason I’m not particularly bothered by the inconsistency, for lack of a better word, is because that’s what pretty much every fic Loki already feels like to me? (Including my own, so I’m not, like, saying that in a derogatory way.) Which is why I say Loki feels like a fic!Loki and to try to explain it better - there is always, for me, a little suspension of disbelief that I employ when I read fic. The reason for that is because the context, the plot, and the dynamics of the fic are usually pretty different than what we ever get in canon, so it becomes a matter of taking film!Loki and, like, bending him a bit in order to fit him into the perimeters of the fic.

The result ends up being that I don’t see the exact Avengers!Loki or TDW!Loki, and thus by definition the portrayal is ooc, but the version that I do see feels like a genuine extension of the canon version, possessing enough of Loki’s overall traits and characteristics that he feels authentic, albeit a bit pretzeled for the new context.

I honestly think that’s something that’s unavoidable, just due to the fact that in fic - and now, in this series - there are a lot more variables at play than there are in the films, wherein Loki is not just a supporting character but also the villain/antagonist and is therefore very limited in what he does/what the narrative allows him to do. When those limitations are taken away, what are we going to see? Probably a lot of different things, and yeah, a lot of them are going to feel a little ooc. And, like in fic, even if the characterization mostly lands, there are definitely bits and pieces (some fics more than others lean this way) where the author didn’t stick the landing or got carried away or otherwise probably forgot for a while that they were writing Loki, not their own OC.

That’s the point where it strays into cringe territory for me (and where the ‘heh, he’s Loki but with a brain injury’ aspect comes in), but while I had to consciously decide to just ignore those moments, overall the tone in this episode felt a bit more balanced between the new, the old, and the cringe, and less whiplash-y from the beginning of the episode to the end.

… I have no idea if that makes sense, but what I’m basically saying is that while I am enjoying this version of Loki, I do recognize all of the ways he’s ooc but, unlike how I feel about Ragnarok!Loki, the ooc-ness feels genuine and unavoidable rather than just a fundamental and careless misunderstanding of the character altogether. In other words, I feel like any ooc-ness here is happening despite the writers taking care to do their best, and isn’t just a result of Loki being lazily written by a person or persons who just doesn’t want to bother with him at all.

Again, I don’t know if that makes sense, but fuck it, there we are and I’m moving on.

I liked all of the little details, including again, things that felt straight out of fic, like Loki asking Mobius why he has the jetski magazine. (Also, if any of my thorki friends read this, was I the only one who noticed that when we see Loki reading the magazine, it just happens to be open to a page with a picture featuring a jet skier who looks like Thor? l.m.a.o.)

Loki interrupting things to explain the difference between illusions vs the other power (I can’t remember which one, off hand, and if I stop writing to go look it up I will lose my train of thought and not finish this) was great, but his overall input and contributions to the missions inspired very mixed feelings for me. On the one hand, I loved that the narrative, via Loki, is reminding us of all these things that he’s capable of that the films generally left out or brushed aside or ignored - but, every time he spoke, he was met with eye rolls and sighs and just a general feeling of “someone please shut this guy up” and I didn’t like the narrative treating him that way.

But also, it’s understandable bc none of the people on his team are actually on his team. None of them want him there (story of Loki’s fucking life), none of them trust him, and none of them are particularly interested in hearing what he has to say. So it’s like, I understand why they reacted the way they did, and I don’t think their reactions are meant to support an overall narrative undermining of Loki’s skills and input - but, the tone is hard to read for me bc I am very defensive and protective of Loki. I can’t quite determine the line between the TVA agents being unreliable narrators (ie, they’re annoyed by Loki bc of who he is to them, but that doesn’t mean the audience is supposed to feel the same) and the TVA agents validating that Loki is just being a nuisance (and, thus, the audience is supposed to feel the same).

That is, I know how I am consuming the narrative (that they’re unreliable narrators), but I’m not sure if that’s how tptb are intending for me to consume the narrative - and I guess it doesn’t really matter, but it’s worth mentioning.

In general, I really liked, again, Loki existing in his own space and watching the way he carried himself. I especially found it interesting that his hands were almost always in his pockets - for one thing it's a stance I tend to imagine him taking often in fic, but also it’s kind of a weird choice bc pockets don’t seem to be a thing in Asgardian clothing. It makes me feel like Loki is the kind of person who never knows what to do with his hands but is always conscious of them, as is common among anxious and self-conscious people, and I just find that relatable on a weird level.

I am really kinda torn on Mobius in this episode; when not interrogating Loki, he’s much less antagonistic toward Loki and therefore I’m more inclined to take-him-or-leave-him but I’ll go ahead and take him I guess. Yet at the same time, bc he’s not interrogating Loki he’s also not trying to put on a show for Loki and when you take that away, he really doesn’t seem to like Loki at all. It supports that Mobius only wants what Loki can do for him and doesn’t actually particularly care about him as a person, which is fine and more or less what I figured, but it contributes to me not really being able to decide how I feel about him in general. Idk, though, I kinda like their dynamic? Like I want them to end up friends?

Regardless, Tom and Owen have amazing chemistry and it’s really funny to me bc (not to be a jerk) I honestly didn’t know Owen Wilson could act. Like, I’ve never seen him in a role where he wasn’t just playing Owen Wilson. So for him to not only be playing Mobius so well but also having such chemistry and a sense of holding-his-own against Tom Hiddleston is like, color me surprised but pleasantly so.

I like B-15 a lot, even though she obviously hates Loki, so idk why I like her but I do. I like Renslayer less, but meh. (Side note - when I was in undergrad in Syracuse, I took the Amtrak from Syracuse to Boston and back more than a few times, for reasons that aren’t relevant, and that route always had a layover at Albany-Rensselaer and every single time I see Renslayer’s name, I want to call her Rensselaer instead.) Shout out to the guest appearance by Casey, sorry Loki stole your juice lmfao.

The moments from the trailer that were very cringe were less so in context (though still kinda cringe, tbh). I think we’ve seen most of the content from the trailers in the first two episodes now, though, which means going forward, it’s going to be like 95% previously unseen material (aside from the brief apocalyptic shots and so forth).

One thing I fucking loved was how Loki, reading about Ragnarok, was visibly affected and even teared up a bit, and you could tell he was in his feels about it, but then later when Mobius expresses sympathy, Loki is just like, “Uh huh, very sad, but anyway.” It was a subtle (well maybe not that subtle) but effective way to remind us that what Loki presents to other people is more often than not a mask and he keeps his true feelings close to the chest. It makes last week’s breakdown have even more of an impact, I think, bc clearly Loki was at the end of his rope to allow himself to show that much raw emotion and vulnerability, but also - for me - there’s a niggling little doubt there that wasn’t there before, in that there was probably more performance in it than I thought.

By which I mean, I think his reaction to the film of his life when he was alone was genuine but, while I previously thought his admission to Mobius later was also genuine, I now think was probably half genuine and half performative. I know others already figured that out, but I’m a little slow and, also, I don’t mind changing my opinion and interpretation from week to week.

Along the same lines, I wasn’t exactly surprised to see that Loki is “undercover” in the TVA, but it was nice to see it acknowledged fairly quickly. Not sure I buy that Loki wants to overthrow and rule the TVA - it’s still a little too “Loki only wants a throne” for me, but again, just because that’s what he told the variant doesn’t mean that’s actually what he’s after.

And, finally, I like the variant, I love Loki’s reaction to seeing her, and while I realize that the show has acknowledged Loki’s gender fluidity and we’re meant to assume that Lady Loki (I guess? Not sure if we’re going with that or not here) is Loki, I saw a theory somewhere about how this is actually not Loki-Loki, but - I wanna say her name Sophie but that’s the actress, again I can’t go look it up bc I will lose my train of thought - but it’s a character who is similar to Amora and who was created by Loki and models herself as Loki but she’s actually someone else.

Ugh I can’t remember the details of the theory, but I am kinda going with it bc I don’t think that Loki would look so - not surprised but just kind of “oh, well, I wasn’t expecting that” if he were seeing the female version of himself. Like, he doesn’t seem to recognize her the way I assume he would recognize himself, male or female. Not only does that make me feel like she’s actually someone else, but also not recognizing her as the female version of himself doesn’t necessarily mean Loki doesn’t recognize her at all. He may very well recognize her as this other Amora-similar character and, if so, I really want to see how that character fits with MCU Loki (as I think she’s a comic book character but, again, I’d have to go back and find that theory).

Edit: I found a version of it here.

Overall score, B-. Mostly solid, but needs moar Loki breakdowns and tears. (That's just me, don't fucking judge me.) Also, I really hate that we have to wait a week between episodes. I wish they were following Netflix’s method of dropping the entire season at once but, then again, if they did that, I’m not sure any of us would survive.

I gotta get ready for work and I deleted and rewrote so much of this and it still seems nonsensical to me, lmfao fml. Anyway feel free to interact/send me asks/whatever, it’s going to be a long fucking day with all of this on my mind. I’ll be working my way through my dash as best as I can.

Oh, also! Loki is so fucking pretty in this episode! The TVA suit is ugly, but he makes it work, and his hair's combed nicely and he looks like he finally got an opportunity to sleep and shower and eat something and, yknow, it's working for him.