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#opens and pretends to read it
alicedrawslesmis · 1 month
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ASDFGHJKL
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unpretty · 2 years
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asdhdsns i saw a post expressing dismay at popular books by a specific author being formulaic and tropey and having similar covers and then i realized it was a romance novel and that's the funniest criticism i can imagine
like damn
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you've really unearthed a scandal here
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how will the culture at large recover from this worrying new trend in publishing
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enha-stars · 2 months
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i just wanted to tell you that you’re not a good writer in case you thought you were. why r u bringing my mom into it wtf
oh thank you so much!! look at you, doing good work on earth by sharing your opinions because you think they’re needed
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OH MY GOD EVERYBODY IT'S HAPPENING?!?!?!?! ONE OF MY FAVORITE COMTE STORY EVENTS!?!?!?!? THIS IS NOT A DRILL MAYDAY MAYDAY MOD IS GOING DOWN!!!!!
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bumblingbabooshka · 7 months
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The Doctor turning into women and having romantic dalliances with men is every kind of queer...to me.
#EMH (pretending to be B'Elanna after having just SPRINTED down the hall): You wouldn't shoot a pregnant woman would you ??;;#Tuvok: (in the most 'give it up' tone possible) ...Come with Me doctor =_=#Tuvok gets docked points for falling for the ol' 'cough cough im sick' excuse but gains them all back by getting suspicious and starting#an investigation all on his own in the background <3#Also Janeway being held captive and being just kinda pissed about the whole situation...yeah#HEHEHE I like this episode it's funny but also the stakes are high#Janeway sort of smirking and doing the 'come here' motion when that alien man was like 'do you know how to fix this?' - her swag.....#Janeway (captive and stressed beyond belief about the warp core): Yeah I have time to serve dom vibes#Tuvok - Chakotay - Janeway: Each having uniquely bad days#(Worst Security disaster ever - Got put in a morgue for hours - Held captive and threatened with death: + Voyager stranded)#I know Chakotay was unconscious for the morgue thing but still#Chakotay: -opens his eyes to see Tuvok standing there-#(they share a look like 'yeah it's some LIFE THREATENING scooby doo bullshit again')#Hey Chakotay maybe next time don't tell the imposter that you know they're an imposter right to their face <3#Just some tactical strategy for next time <3 <- I love him I'm just being a bitch HEHEHE it was funny to me#Doctor: Hey I know we're in the middle of a serious thing here but like. Why don't we. You know. Hang out???#Janeway: -sharp intake of breathe- ......ohhhh I don't really...DO hanging out.#YAY NAR~!!!!! GET HIS ASS~!!!#Nar I hope you live a simple but fulfilling life as a junk dealer or whatever it is you were talking about god bless <3#Doctor: Now that I might die I have some last requests v_v Captain...throw my diary away. DO NOT. READ IT. Tuvok...I told Neelix about that#rash you got on your ass. We laughed about it for weeks. Sorry.#and then I smile and giggle and ass 'ass rash' to the Tuvok lore#SNRKEHEHE DAMN. HE GOT HARRY TOO???#'Sorry I said you sucked absolute shit at playing the saxophone. I should have phrased it more delicately...damn it. It all becomes so clea#when you face the end.' (Harry: You said w hat????) SEVEN-!!#Seven: Stay over there computer boy =_=#SNRKEHEHEHHEHHAHAHAH#Janeway:....Is he...? / B'Elanna: NO. I've got him =_= I just deleted all that spam. He's FINE.#livetweeting
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boxwinebaddie · 1 month
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STAN HAS THAT K CHOKER RIGHT? DOES THAT MEAN KYLE HAS AN S NECKLACE? like he could totally stack his s necklace with his star of david one
aaaaaaaaa
you know i love a lil matchy-matchy moment~
and actually, i accumulated a lot of different asks actually, mostly, interestingly enough asking me about the same roundabout thing: if jersey wears rings, how he feels about jewelry, if he has any tattoos or other piercings, stuff of the like, etc.
but i never got around to answering those because i'm kind of a perfectionist and i get all worked up in my head about how i'm going to answer things because i want them to be perfect ( i keep trying to structure nsfw ask like it's a nine page research essay, smh ) buuut
basically, as we all know well, jersey is…Particular.
particularly abt himself and what is done to him/on him.
( okay, fair warning: the rest of this answer is very long and i just talk a lot about the former question about jersey/his attachments to material things and also physical-emotional things — people — you do not have to read all that...the short answer is yes, kyle does stack a stan 's' necklace with the star of david, i talk about it more at the end, but this intro part is a lot of exposition and information. so if your curiosity does not end there...perhaps i can further it below xx )
a lot of it ties into his ocd and this need to control every aspect of his life, not being able to put it in anyone elses hands but his own because he's scared of that improbability...that margin of error.
it keeps him up at night.
for that reason, even though he has a ton of health issues, diabetes, etc. he is extremely Defiant and Volatile in doctors offices. like, he will start throwing shit, rip ivs out of his arms, ask you to explain what you are giving him In Detail and will probably still refuse to take it.
tbh, the only reason he's taking any medication at all is because he really loves sheila and she is extremely worried about losing him </3
( jersey is a mommas boy, i said what i said! )
but he takes his own blood sugar, pricks his own fingers, runs all his own tests...he really does not trust anyone else w/ that kind of thing. which ties into piercings because he does...think that they're…lowkey, highkey *jersey vc* Hawt, i’m sorry; it's true.
i do think it's his...Thing.
the man really just wants a little hot topic emo boy accessory display for a boyfriend and he is right for that. cute, shiny, edgy. i respect it.
eye candy, arm candy, if you will?
( jersey is extremely partial to candy, ofc <3 )
and idk, maybe it's just a me thing, but to me, jerseykyle, specifically, is very conceptual and is intrigued by fashion and stuff, but because when he was overweight growing up, he was sort of just shoe-horned into all this oblong, ugly clothing, whatever would fit or they could afford. so he never really got to be able to wear things he wanted to, until about right now and it's been really liberating for him? idk? aaa
i love sleek, chic, dark academia, tired 1940s evil classics professor, thrift store couture jersey in his dollar store blazers and italian loafers. like my man is an off duty model, forreal. i am obsessed with him.
and actually he really Likes tattoos and piercings and dyed hair and thinks all the little rings are cool because you're like this living art form, this distinct individual, there's a uniqueness, a cool rebellion there he can’t create have within himself, so he combats/masks it as disgust and disinterest because he doesn't like to process his complicated feelings and also doesn't like forming attachments...especially...
...to things he's inexplicably Drawn to.
which is why, initially, upon even just bearing witness to raven of crimson dawn, kyle freaked out because he was like immediately Extremely Attracted to him because he checks all these little boxes in his brain, but his brain, of course, is corroded by mental illness and trauma, so he immediately projects extreme amounts of hostility in raven's direction because he is like you're all chaos and disorder, you're a mess, you throw caution to the wind, You’re Unpredictable.
when he’s actually obsessed w/ that capricious energy?
like he makes fun of stan for all his punk rock boy 'hood ornaments' and 'anarchical embellishments', but his heart starts racing every time stan winks at him and his little eyebrow piecing winks back, or he runs his tongue over that lip ring kyle got hyperfixated on, partially because it's pretty, which...rip, not even joking…
if stan comes out in the support rock, fuck a rockstar tank top, the tiny pants and sports that little lip ring chain thing that connects to the cuff on his ear...it does something seriously ( down ) bad to kyle's brain and stan is immediately getting Railed. soz if you were waiting for stan's autograph, hes gettin ky's all over his body. woops.
but!!! it's mostly bc stan had the courage and hedonism to put something through his lip and live with it. that he could get other piercings, get tattoos, let people handle him, put his life into someone else's hands, let them have control for a second, knowing they are executing the thing you want/need without you doing it...
it's literally All a control thing.
or rather, an inability to lose it.
because he's very particular, yeah, about what he likes and doesn't like, he won't wear any fabrics that itch or bother him, he won't buy something if the hem pisses him off, if he has to wear something he doesn't like, he will bitch and moan the entire day about it. and while it's good to have that level of self-assuredness, it's also kind of a self-preservation and self destructive coping mechanism for jerseykyle.
because he pushes everything out...
but doesn't let anything else in.
and a lot of that changes when raven/stan comes back into the picture, because when they were growing up, stan was this beautiful, glowing fixture of nonconformity, this pillar of strength that was twice as strong as he was, even though kyle was the fighter. because stan fought for self-acceptance and kyle fought for self-loathing.
and really...the reason why his ed developed in the first place was because gerald and society as a whole brainwashed him into hating himself and that people would only digest him if he was in small enough, beautiful, palatable enough pieces to eat so even though he acts out or throws punches: It’s All Within The Lines.
or the confines, rather.
of the person he thinks people want him to be.
but, idk, i'm talking too much. basically, gist is, kyle has a hard time handing over control to other people/being vulnerable and the final piece to that is...permanence.
a piercing...a tattoo...is Permanent.
i mean, sure, they close up and you can get them removed, but you are irreconcilably changed and altered. you are different now.
anddddd sigh, the jersey can't say i love you ask strikes again! because jersey can't say i love you because it's handing over control, because it's vulnerable because it's...permanent and he has extremely deep-seated commitment issues because of all of that.
which means he rarely, if ever, makes said commitments.
so when he Does...
it's a very special thing indeed.
because jersey has no tattoos or piercings on his body.
save for the sun/moon one he got on his ring finger for stan ( i can never decide if i want jersey to have the sun tattoo because he is the sun or if he has the moon one so he can wear rae around with him )
*** ( i also think it's possible he might get little hebrew things for his mom or idk, something very important later...i'll think about it more )
and...One ear piercing.
i was going to go at this in more comical and dramatic way in an old post, but basically, i think kenny/bebe/craig someone basically joked about there being reduced earring piercings at claire's and they should take kyle because he's the only one without pierced ears and jersey gets really defensive about it and everyone's like ooooh! kyle's scared to get his ears pierced, so the competitive and aggressive side of him that hates to lose briefly outweighs the neurotic side and is like "fuck you!!! let's go right now! i'm not scared of anything!"
and he gets there, stan's with him, and he is...freaking out in the little plastic chair with some eight year old girl next to him ecstatically getting her ears pierced for her birthday, bc he's going to have to let someone...do something to him/inflict something on him.
( which actually, i think, is what is really beautiful about j.k and r.s' relationship and dynamic, is that jersey teaches raven that you can't just let people do things you don't want them to do to you just because you feel like you should ft. his sexual trauma and stan teaches kyle that it is okay to let other people in, to do reckless things, to allow yourself to feel and enjoy simple pleasures w/o fear. ft. his ocd
lmao, is there a branch in my eye again? y is it Watering )
and ravenstan is like, mi amor, they are just your ears, you will be okay, i will hold your hand…
everything will be fine, i swear. :’) <3
and he gets hyped up, ready to go, the 16 y/o piercing his ears tells him she'll count to three and pierce on one.
...and she pierces on Three.
i'm not sure if it's bc she pressed too soon or because she thought that if she surprised him, it might make him less nervous, but it does not!!!! kyle FREAKS out!!!! his ocd goes haywire and basically has a nervous breakdown at freaking /claires/ bc she pierced his ear before she SAID she would and destroys the confidence that he built up to let himself be vulnerable.
it seems like a Silly thing...but i think it says a lot, yknow?
and though it was a serious blow to his ego, kyle only has...one ear pierced because he panicked and could not get the second one done. and it, to this day, is one of the only asymmetrical things abt him. which, i actually think is important to him coping w/ his ocd
( similar to how kyle, sorry slight nsfw, having stan have to ask for things if he wants them, helps him, in a seemingly innocuous way, build confidence in himself/not let things just 'happen' to him without his consent ) because having only one ear pierced means he has to deal with being lopsided and that, everyday the earth doesn't crash into the sun...means that he's okay.
also a cute thing about the one ear piercing is that i think kyle wears like this cute little gold sun dangly one that has a similar ambiance to the sun and moon glasses chain charms? it's his signature.
and other than showering, sleeping, etc. he only really ever takes it out when raven is going off somewhere far away :( and he switches it with a little stan silver earring ( idk kyle feels very gold jewelry bc of his orange hair and stan feels v silver bc of his blue eyes and stuff ) and stan sometimes takes kyle's with him on tour...AAAAA i'm sad
on the subject of rings, since someone else asked me, kyle does not wear rings even though he does like them/they're pretty because they're heavy, they clank against his pen when he's writing, the sound pisses him off...but he wears stan's lil silver emo boy rings when he's away and gaslit himself into liking the sound because the sound it makes against his pen reminds him of the sound it makes when stan is excitedly scribbling song lyrics and singing to him aaaaa IM :(
WHERE WAS I GOING WITH THIS AGAIN?
oh, yeah.
extreme mental illness.
so jersey never makes adjustments or accommodations for anyone, and when he does it's a big deal...but really...
it's because Stan is a big deal to him.
stan is EVERYTHING to him.
and kyle thinks it's cute that at every show and every concert, stan always wears the little spicy k charm on his emo boy choker ( and got the little even spicier inner thigh tattoo w kyle's name on it...anyways )
so, he starts wearing a little s around his neck for stan.
which, initially, i'm sure you're like...oh God.
jersey making an adjustment to his very specific cartoon character outfit alignment of things he wears every day, things he wears at home, things he wears specifically when going out depending on the environment...this sounds like a recipe for disaster. this is a big change for him. he's gonna spin out or short circuit his brain.
but...really? it feels as easy as Breathing.
because for one of the first times in his life, kyle got something that he didn't just get for him, w/ selfish intentions or bc he needs to be in control...he got it...
to make stan happy. :)
and it does make him very, Very happy, indeed.
which is really funny to me because jersey is super annoying and just starts wearing it and pretends like he doesn't know what's going on bc he's bad at ~gestures~. so stan comes home, sees it and immediately is like *big stan eyes* 'what are you wearing??'
and kyle is like, ‘oh, this? i've had it forever, it's was just in the back of the closet. why? is it wrinkled or—‘ and stan is like 'no, dummy. the NECKLACE' and kyle, playing dumb, trying to act nonchalant because he's kind of embarrassed abt having emotions is like 'oh, that. y'know. just something i'm trying out...' and stan is like
'kyle broflovski, are you wearing a necklace with my initial on it????' and kyle is like 'alright, woah there, mr. celebrity. but not eeeeverything is about you, okay? that s could stand for anything.'
and stan is like *genuine heart eyes wowza because kyle is being annoying but stan loves dumb annoying kyle that's why he wears his lil possessive emo boy k charm on his choker everywhere* 'okay, well the k on mine stands for kiss me or kiss me kyle or whatever you want just, come and kiss me please' kshdlkshd <333 eWW
anyways...they're Gay. they're in love. they having matching tattoos and earrings and wear eachother's intials around their neck. nbd.
but...in a very longwinded format, i hope this answers your question baby and hopefully some other questions you have abt jersey. i'm sorry that was a lot but i literally could talk about jersey forever, like he is so fascinating and bc he's our narrator and he's such an unreliable one, it's hard to understand how his brain works.
hope this helps. <3
uncle nina, keeper of the cryptid jersey whore-lore
#okay i am sorry#i know this barely answers your question#but i got a lot of similar questions#and i wanted to answer them in one big ask while i was feeling inspired so here is a bunch of jersey trauma lore#i hope it's fascinating i find it all super fascinating#because he presents like this perfectly in control orderly well maintained militant self-satisfying self gratified thing#but it's just a front for the fact that he's scared of change and is scared of not being in control or making mistakes#like he is put together but a breath away from falling apart#stan teaches him to sit down kyle teaches him to stand up#also sorry kyle having a fascination with edgy boy things and piercings and stuff in particular is kinda spicy to me#i luv him like he really is like that man is a satanic abomination and i want to do terrible horrible depraved things to him#like he really saw raven of crimson dawn and was like oy gevault i have never wanted to cut my lip open on anything#more than on that mans lip ring holy hell oh my god he is so shiny and ripped up and his makeup is so cool#he is a celebrity he has no original thought he doesnt think abt anything thats why he has all those tattoos and piercings#but also y do i want to trace my fingers down them every time i look at him he reveals himself more to me i want to learn more#kinsey scale gay 6 jerseykyle everyone but specifically for dramatic crybaby bisexual punk rock boys w/ piercings#which...i think is incredible bc i do not think people would expect that from kyle...but people also thinks he cannot feel#BUT HIM ADJUSTING HIS WELL REGIMENTED LIFE TO INCOPORATE STAN INTO IT I WANT TO SCREAM#HIM LEARNING TO LET OTHER PEOPLE DO STUFF FOR HIM AND BE OKAY WITH THEM HELPING HIM#I WANT TO START FUCKING SCREAMING I COULD TALK ABOUT THIS ALL DAY I LOVE JERSEYS CHAR DEV#ok final thot is he does sometimes do a gold jewelry ring moment or somethin if he's feeling like its important to the look#but they are very insignificant things for aesthetics easily taken off or removed...its the important stuff he has trouble w#and makes it all the more rewarding i think <3#ily jers#okay last last small thing as far as like getting little piercings and random fun tattoos goes i just think he doesnt want any#boring king ik minus the ocd and stuff he just likes all his stuff to be very a-line and crisp doesnt like massive statements#like my man Is the statement like he has beautiful luxiourous curly red hair and green eyes and his nose a modern art piece#its too busy for him its distracting and u know thats what u have a hot rockstar bf for so u can pretend 2 read ur book#but the plot of the book is tracing ur sbfs sexc hip tattoos and helping him decide what belly button ring hes gonna wear#you know!!! The Plot!!! which kyles eidetic mem comes back but he does get distracted looking at stan a lot help
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stars-and-birds · 9 months
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what the fuck.
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unopenablebox · 29 days
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so do any of you know what, like, christian traditions or denominations involve an easter weekend parade through the public streets with a giant stuffed life size jesus on the cross being pulled on an elevated cart (????) ? or a guy playing jesus dragging a giant cross behind him? but also there's a bunch of guys in some sort of ecclesiastical dress there? and music? the only thing i know about this tradition is that i had NEVER HEARD OF IT until i moved to cambridge at which point i learned that every year they SHUT DOWN A BUNCH OF STREETS so the. parade commemorating jesus's suffering. can go by
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aesukhia · 5 months
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forever maimed by how oba yozo felt like everyone in the world had been given a script on what to do and how to act except for him
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sonknuckles · 10 months
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i thought tripitaka villainization in the LMK fandom was just a myth holy shit you guys are actually stupid!
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sitzfleischh · 4 months
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I'm at my parents' house for Christmas and they're the ones who recommended BBC Ghosts to me in the first place because they started watching it last year, and I'm having to pretend I feel completely normal about it and definitely haven't watched all 5 seasons twice in the past month.
My mom: Who's your favourite character? I love Robin he's so funny.
Me: [white-knuckled holding onto my self control with both hands] Haha oh uh yeah I love Robin too, I think my favourite characters are... Hmm... Robin.. and Kitty... [Definitely super casual about it] and the captain. Oh and Heather's fav character is Pat.
My mom: Nice, [changes the subject]
Me: 🙂 I'm so normal I'm so normal don't worry I'm so normal 👍
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tavtarnish · 1 year
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Ghost's canon background is right there, but I'm still projecting all my shit onto Soap
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ragnarlothcat · 7 months
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i know you'll appreciate this because cat!anakin rights!! so fic rec of the day: stubborn in the bones by tideswept
Cat!Anakin you say??? I'm immediately sold!!! I've read another fic by this author and loved it which certainly helps your case so consider me tantalized. I just think that Anakin's truest form is some sort of catboy and I suspect it's because of his canon disregard for authority, personal boundaries and the sanctity of life.
Also, he has fluffy hair.
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active-mind-15 · 5 months
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Since I started my Masters program in September, I have been taking this course on cultivating authentic leadership, and I was thinking how much it would have benefitted Akashi if the books I was assigned to read for class were the ones that were on his childhood bookshelf instead of whatever tf Masaomi was giving him to read.
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feral-radfem · 1 year
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Oh my God I'm so surprised that super persistent but consistently flawed debater on Tumblr is actually a child. I never saw that coming.
Look, there's things that adults shouldn't say/ topics we shouldnt bring up around children and should be able to create spaces away from them. If I'm being completely honest, radical feminism almost entirely falls in this category of 18+ content. We are constantly talking about sexual violence and other extremely adult topics that aren't appropriate for developing minds to be constantly bombarded with. It's bad for your young minds and it's bad for the movements that you seem to think you care about.
If you want to be a child activist then volunteer for your local community, don't get in online spaces with adults. It's simply not safe for children and creates an unproductive environment for adults. Children will learn better skills and build more fulfilling relationships and achievement doing local community activism anyways.
If you're a minor you need to put that shit somewhere so that we can tell that we're talking to a literal baby. I really don't enjoy this increasing trend of purposely not telling people when y'all are minors because you think that it's going to make people dismiss you, when you having limited life experience is a legitimate limitation on your analysis. You're being deceptive because someone placed a social boundary that you don't want to respect. It's high key gross.
On the same note, different tune, I hope this serves that is a reminder that people can literally be lying, either outright or by omission, about everything they claim about themselves on here. We, people in general, have created the online culture where it's completely normal to lie about important identifying features about ourselves for social clout/elevation. While I know there are some of us that may not participate in this practice, I know plenty of radfems do. We've caught a few doing it red-handed and all they're doing is breeding distrust amongst us in these spaces.
Can y'all not just act like normal honest people?
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navelgazed · 2 months
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Mfw "I can choose not to be trans that day" makes a post about how unseriously they take their gender so therefore endos can choose not to be plural that day: 😐
(That wasn't actually the point of this person's post but every time they downplay transness like this without mentioning that, i would say, most trans people cannot stop being trans when it suits them and in fact are not only treated badly/their identity ignored but targeted for literal violence while just trying to exist is just in poor taste. An NB teen died from a hate crime not a few weeks ago, have some self awareness.)
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