#wow. a avocado. thanks

[alicedrawslesmis]

ASDFGHJKL

[matchabot]

fruit flavor definitive edition

[confessedlyfannish]

DP x DC Writing Prompt #8

The day Bruce Wayne knocks on her apartment door Sam knows it's going to be a doozy.

"Mr. Wayne, I really do hope no one saw you," she says, ushering him in. "And for the record, a text ahead of time would be appreciated."

"I parked the car a few streets away," Bruce says, sticking a finger in his heel to peel his polished leather shoes off. Sam raises an eyebrow. "It's a sedan, not a Lamborghini."

"You own a sedan?"

"Taught Dick to drive in it...after he crashed the Lamborghini."

Sam snorts despite herself. The charm Bruce Wayne exhibits would usually rub her the wrong way, too reminiscent of wealthy men that feel comfortable placing a hand on the small of your back at a crowded gala, but Bruce is honest enough about his playacting that she has come to find its insincerity comforting. She's actually sought him out more than once, leading to several annoying headlines that can't seem to decide if she's aiming to date him or one of his eligible sons. None of whom are eligible by the way, as they are a) taken, b) legally dead, c) practically a minor, and d) an actual minor.

Sam's generational wealth is peanuts compared to Wayne Industries, so naturally her parents have been thrilled and rooting for option c.

"I also didn't want Danny to see I'd texted you. Or force you to lie to him."

Sam doesn't quite tense, but it's a near thing. She does slide to the other side of her kitchen island, under the context of finishing prepping her feta fried eggs, laid on a bed of smashed avocado and warm tortilla. She pulls a bottle of crunchy garlic oil out of the fridge and drizzles hot red crisps across the runny yolk. She takes a bite, chewing thoughtfully, not so much as offering him a glass of water.

"You realize, Mr. Wayne, I have no intention of lying to Danny now?"

Bruce sits at the stool on the opposite side of the island. "I understand. And if you want to ask Danny to return home before we continue, I'd understand that as well. I didn't mean to discomfit you--"

"Please do not lie to me now, Mr. Wayne," Sam says, rolling her eyes. "By your own admission you showed up at noon without warning knowing my superhero boyfriend wouldn't be present. If I am discomfited, all the more likely you get your information, right?" Golden yolk runs down her fingers, and she sacrifices it to the napkin rather than lick up her arm in front of her boss, with no small amount of resentment. The yolk is the best part.

"Get to it then," she demands.

Bruce straightens in his stool, chin raising and firming in a jawline she most often sees under a cowl. His eyes attempt to pin her in place, but Sam has stared the Master of Time in the face and demand he reschedule so she is built. different. She takes another bite of egg taco.

"I was not aiming for you to feel threatened, and moreover, I doubt you could be."

Except a smart person should always feel threatened by a threat, no matter their capability of handling one. It keeps them alive.

"Can you tell me how I'm not like all the other girls after lunch? You'll spoil my appetite."

Bruce clears his throat. "I'll get to the point--"

"Thank you."

"--Danny has been exhibiting paranormal behaviors beyond his baseline. We welcome all biologies; human, alien, and paranormal alike, but I have observed actions unlike what he had previously established as his, for lack of a better word, 'normal'

"I want to make sure he is not experiencing any unwelcome outside influence. Or, if this is merely a facet of his evolution, I'd like to know if this is something we or his family should be monitoring."

Sam has been an eco-consultant with Wayne Industries and unofficially, the Batfamily, for half a year now and this is the most she's ever heard the man speak in one sitting.

"Wow," she says. "How long have you been rehearsing that one?"

"A while." Bruce grunts, voice finally taking that final drop into Batman's gravelly rasp. "I see you're not surprised by any of this."

"No, not really," Sam says. She pours him a tall glass of lemon water from the pitcher, freshly sliced that morning, and he takes a polite sip.

"So what can you tell me?"

"Probably a lot. And Danny would probably prefer that I do, knowing him, the big baby," Sam sighs. "Listen Mr. Wayne, I can appreciate that you came here from a place of caution rather than intrusion. And if Danny was undergoing something negative or from an 'unwelcome outside influence' that would be the right call, and I, albeit begrudgingly, encourage you to do so in the future."

"But he's not."

"He's not," Sam confirms. "And in fact, I think he could really use someone to talk to about it. Outside of his family."

"I see..." Bruce says, shifting.

"If you want to tag team this one with one of the higher EQ players, such as Superman, I give you permission." Sam does not think she's imagining that slight sag of relief.

"Thank you," Bruce says, sliding off the stool. "I don't suppose you have material we could consult...?"

"Actually yes, I happen to have a pamphlet right here. 'So your ghostly body is changing, and how.'"

"You're being more sarcastic than usual."

"You interrupted my lunch, Mr. Wayne."

[brooooswriting]

heyo lovely HOOMAN I hope you are doing well

So

Do you think we can get another part for situations?

If not everything's fine

I have a lovely day

Situations 4

Situations 1, Situations 2, Situations 3, situations 5, situations 6, situations 7

The next morning you woke up at 4 am with Jenna on top of you, her head nuzzled into your neck while your arms wrapped around her waist. You couldn’t help but blush when you realized how comforting and domestic this felt, like it was made to be. After a bit longer, you decided to get up and make breakfast for everyone as you knew that Paul, Jenna and Mike had to work today. Carefully rolling the girl off, you went and changed into a jogging trouser and a top before walking to the kitchen.

You decided to make some eggs for your friends, Avocado Toast for all of them and some vegan pancakes for Jenna and yourself, meanwhile you brewed some coffee and tea before setting the table. You liked stuff like this, taking care of people, especially your friends. After everything was set and done, you decided to wake them up, only Jenna waking up alone before you even had the chance to wake anyone up. “Good morning darling, how did you sleep?” You asked her as she went to hug you, “better than in a long time” she grumbled while you laughed as you hugged her. “Here, I made some breakfast “ you told her as you parted causing her to mumble a small ‘thank you’. “I’m gonna go wake the others, some of them have to work soon” so you went and woke all of them.

“So what’s your plan for today?” You asked the brunette when you settled down next to her, the others were getting ready to come into the kitchen for breakfast. “I have a shoot for ‘hot ones’ at about 1 pm and that’s it for today. What’s your plan?” You quickly checked your calendar before answering. “Nothing actually. I’m off work today and I have nothing planned” you grinned happily as you didn’t have off a lot.

“Good Morning love birds” it was Mike who happily entered before letting himself fall on to the chair next to you. “This looks good, what do we have?” You laughed slightly as he goggled the food, trying to hide the blush that spread when he came inside. “Eggs and avocado toast” you answered busying yourself by purring coffee into his mug. “Morning guys” Paul and Joey entered, both clearly not morning people as they dragged their feet behind them, their shoulders sacked and their eyes barely open. “Morning Star-shines” you and Jenna laughed before also purring them a cup of coffee.

It was silent for a moment as everyone ate their breakfast before your name was called from somewhere in the apartment, Mia’s voice rang through the kitchen causing your eyes to roll back and to your surprise Jenna’s too. “I’ll be back” you told her as you stood up letting your hand rest on top of her shoulder slightly squeezing before walking off.

You found the girl in the guest bed room, a towel wrapped around her but her hair still dry. “What do you need?” You asked her as you stood in the doorway. “Oh wow, you’re very friendly” she sarcastically answered causing you to roll your eyes again. “The shower doesn’t work” she told you which only earned her a sigh. “Fine, go shower in my room” you didn’t feel like fixing the shower right this moment as you’d rather spend your time with your friends. So you parted ways again as she walked to your bathroom while you returned to the kitchen. “The shower didn’t work” you informed them and sat back down, talking to Jenna and Mike as the rest was still half asleep.

When nearly everyone was done, Mia decided to join sitting unnecessarily close to you. Jenna rolled her eyes as she grabbed her plate to bring it to the kitchen, you following her. She stood in front of the sink aggressively washing the plate which confused you so you stood behind her looking over her shoulder. “You alright? You don’t have to wash the plate, I have a dishwasher you know” you carefully told her as your body was pressed against hers so you could take the plate from her. “I should go” was the only thing she said before quickly walking to your room, you stood quite confused.

“Let me drive you” you leaned against the doorframe as she collected all her things. “You don’t have to, your friends are here and hot ones is pretty far away” she now stood in front of you with her stuff in her hands, “well, everyone except Mia has to go to work anyway and if I have to choose between her bitching around because I like hanging out with you and actually hanging out with you, even if it’s just driving around then I’d pretty much rather drive with you” you explained messing around with the skin on your fingers. “Stop doing that” she scolded you hitting your fingers away, “and get ready, we have to leave in about 20 minutes” she continued with a smile causing you to smile too. “Alright ma’am” you grinned and went to change into some jeans and a bottom up, putting your hair up before joining everyone back in the kitchen.

“Alright, Jenna and I have to go. Everyone has to leave with Mike as he has a key” you told them as you put on your shoes. “Bye guys, it was nice to meet you” the actress smiled as she grabbed her bag, “bye” you called out as you led the smaller girl out of the apartment with a hand on her back. “My car’s in the garage” you informed her when you stepped into the elevator pressing the bottom. “You really don’t have to drive me” you grinned while slightly shaking your head, “you really can’t let people help you huh” which caused her to grin and shake her head.

You walked up to your truck, opening her door before getting in yourself, “wanna dj?” You asked as you tipped in the address she told you before. “Can I? It’s no problem if you wanna do it” she was being polite, but deep down she didn’t want anyone else to do the music which caused you to chuckle. “No, you can. It’s fine and I mean we have a long drive ahead. But we may have to stop for gas on the way” you added as you exited the garage.

You decided to stop at the nearest gas station where you also got her her favorite drink and some snacks as the drive was for about an hour and a half. “Here, I got you some stuff” you told her as you gave her the bag. “Thank you” you smiled at her before driving off again. It was the nicest drive you’ve had in a while, one moment you were listening to music, the next moment you were screaming along and the next one you were talking about everything and nothing. The feeling inside of you was indescribable, you felt like you belonged.

“We are here, I think” you said as you parked the car in front of a building with several security guards outside. “Have fun and text me when I should pick you up” you checked your phone real quick as you talked nearly missing the ‘oh’ that fell from her lips. “What?” You were confused, didn’t she wanna ride back with you? “Nothing, it’s just- I thought that you were gonna come inside with me, but you don’t have to- I was just being stupid” she rambled as she played with the rings in your fingers that laid on the console in the middle. “No, you’re not being stupid! I just didn’t wanna assume anything and I thought that if I come inside they’re gonna think we’re a couple and I didn’t think that would you want that” now it was your turn rambling as you watched how her hand played with the rings on yours. “Let them assume what they want, there are worse things that they could assume anyways. But I’d be really happy if you joined me, these things make me nervous and you tend to calm me” she was cute like this, Shy and slightly unsure but also just adorable.

Without another word you exited the car and opened her door. “Let’s go my Lady” you held out your hand to help her out of the truck which she happily took. But to your surprise she also didn’t let go of your hand when you walked to the building, it made you blush and your heart quicken. She took you inside the building and you sat on a chair next to her for about 2 hours while she was getting her makeup and outfit done.

“How do I look?” She asked when everybody else exited the room and it was just the two of you. She wore a beautiful black top and trouser with a updo hairstyle and some jewelry. She was breathtaking, the most beautiful person you’ve ever laid your eyes on, you could barely find the words. “Perfect” was the only thing you trusted your voice with. “Really? I’m not sure about the top” she told you as she looked down at her shaking leg causing you to walk up to her, sitting next to her again. “Are you alright?” Your voice was low and comforting as you carefully laid your hand on her shaking leg, slowing it down to a stop so she could busy herself with the rings again. “I’m nervous, what if I can’t handle the spice or do something stupid? What if he asks uncomfortable questions?” She was caught in the ‘what if’ loop and clearly didn’t quite come out of it anymore as she kept talking. “I can tell you one certain thing to alll the what ifs you judged talked about, I will always be on your side and I couldn’t care less about you doing something ‘weird’. I like you the way you are and it will stay that way, and I’m sure I’m not the only one who thinks like that, so don’t worry that much oke? rather think about what you want to do after this” you looked at her the whole time, admiring her and everything about her. She smiled at you before kissing your cheek softly, lingering longer than one normally would before she was called.

You were allowed to sit behind the cameras and watch her, the whole time you were giving her a thumbs up when she was nervously looking for you. It seemed to calm her every time and to be honest, she was doing awesome, she answered the questions in an interesting way and handled the spices like a champ. “So Jenna, we have one more question and I think that is one that a lot of people have asked lately, because pictures like these went around a lot lately and everybody wants to know: who is this girl? And who is she to you?” You froze, it was a picture of you guys hugging, the one you saw in the news. You could already see your bond disappeared. “Well, she saved me so I hugged her to thank her. There is nothing between us, just that” your heart broke that moment, was that the only reason why she came over and stuff? Because she felt like she had to do it after you saved her? Your thoughts were going in a circle and you decided that you needed some silence so you walked to the only place you knew here: Jenna’s changing room.

After Jenna answered the question she looked over to your, now empty, chair, her brows furrowed. When you were gone she immediately got more nervous but now she had to go thru with it. She’d find you and talk to you after she’s done. “Hi, sorry to disturb you but do you think you could tell Jenna that I’ll be waiting in the car?” You asked one of the nice ladies that did her outfit as you picked at the skin of your fingers. “Sure, I’ll let her know as soon as she’s done.” After you thanked her, you made your way outside leaning against your car trying to calm your racing mind. Maybe she didn’t mean what she said, is what you told yourself over and over again but your mind couldn’t help but find other reasons. It went until the actress joined you at your car.

“I’m sorry it took so long” she told you as she stood next to you, you only nodded to deep in thoughts to answer. “Yeah, alright. Let’s just drive” you told her, starring ahead. The beginning of the drive was quiet, nobody talked and the music was so quiet that it was barely audible. At least until an 75 minutes into the drive when Jenna spoke up, “pull to the side pleas. I want to talk” you did what she told you as you didn’t want to argue.

“What’s going on with you? You suddenly disappeared and now you’re not even saying a word. I thought this was a fun thing, you said you liked to spend time with me” she turned to you as she talked. “That was when I thought we were actually something. You don’t have to hang out with me just because I saved you. I would have done it for everyone, like I said I didn’t even recognize you back then, so don’t to this because you think you have to” your voice wasn’t like she knew it, it was hard and mad instead of it’s normal softness. But now she knew why you were mad, she didn’t know what to say back then and was scared that she’d ruin what you guys had. “Y/n, it’s not like that” she started but you only rolled your eyes and continued to drive. “Yeah, sure. I just wish you would have been honest” you said as you drove off the highway. “I didn’t know what to say alright? I was scared” she was frustrated, it was evident in her voice and the way she held her shoulders. “Scared of what? Of telling me the truth?” You were now parked in front of her house, just waiting for her to get out. “No, I was scared of ruining what we have” she explained but you couldn’t help but giggle. “That turned out pretty will, didn’t it?” You were being sarcastic which made her mad. “You’re not even taking this seriously! You know, one moment you’re telling me you’ll always be there for me and you’ll like me no matter what and the next moment you act like this”

It was silent for a moment both of you thinking about how this could end. “You should probably get inside” your voice was dry, while your eyes were unfocused just starring ahead. “Y/n…” the girl next to you mumbled but you only shook your head. But that still didn’t make her move, “will you please just leave man?” Your voice also showed your frustration. “No! I wanna talk about this, I don’t want you to be mad at me” both of you didn’t quite know what to do it what to say, it was just quiet again.

You were picking at the skin again which caused Jenna to grab one of your hands with hers and intervene them tightly, “don’t do that, you’ll bleed again.” You couldn’t help but calm down as she touched you causing you to turn to her as she did the same.

Your eyes flickered towards her lips for a moment while hers did the same. Both of you were slightly leaning on until your lips softly brushed, your hands still intervened on her lap as your hand came up to rest on her jaw, your thumb softly stroking the skin. There wasn’t much movement and the kiss was rather a brush of lips than anything else but it still felt right.

[beesonhoneytoast]

Howl’s Moving Castle Incorrect Quotes

another shitpost bc I have problems 🎐

Ryan: Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the items you have lost throughout your life  Sophie: Self-esteem, haven't seen you in years!  Howl: Oh wow, my childhood innocence! Thank you for finding this!  Markl: I knew I lost that potential somewhere!  Calcifer: My moral code, is that you?  Ryan:  Ryan: I was just gonna show you this cool trunk my mother left me but do you guys need a hug?

—————————————————————

Howl: What if the person who named Walkie Talkies named everything?  Ryan: Pregnancy tests are Maybe Babies  Calcifer: Socks are Feetie Heaties  Markl: Forks are Stabby Grabbies  Ryan: Defibrillators are Heartie Starties  Calcifer: Nightmares are Dreamy Screamies  Markl: Stamps are Lickie Stickies  Sophie, annoyed: You are disappointments

—————————————————————

Howl: If you had to choose between Ryan and all the money I have in my wallet, which would you choose?  Sophie: That depends, how much money are we taking about?  Ryan: Sophie!  Howl: 63 cents.  Sophie: I'll take the money.  Ryan: SOPHIE!!!

—————————————————————

Howl: He stole from me first! Sophie: Mhm. Howl: Stole my heart... Ryan: It is still illegal to commit murder.

—————————————————————

Howl: Fuck. Ryan: We've got to work on your cursing. Howl: Why? I'm pretty good at cursing already.

—————————————————————

Howl, Ryan, and Sophie are sitting on a bench Markl: Why do you guys look so sad? Howl: Sit down with us so we can tell you. *Markl sits down* Ryan: The bench is freshly painted.

—————————————————————

Howl: I think we're missing something.  Ryan: Teamwork?  Markl: Cohesion?  Sophie: A general sense of what we’re doing?

—————————————————————

Howl: You lying, cheating, piece of shit! Ryan: Oh yeah? You’re the idiot who thinks you can get away with everything you do. WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD Howl: I’m leaving you, and I’M TAKING SOPHIE WITH ME Markl, picking up the monopoly board: I think we’re gonna stop playing now.

—————————————————————

Howl: Self care is actually getting into fights with randoms in dark alleys.  Sophie: No, self care is stuff like taking a bubble bath, or putting on a lot of makeup if you like it, or taking a nice warm nap!  Ryan: Self care is the burning heat when rage washes over you!! Self care is when you feel the bones crack under your powerful fists!! Self care is the fear in your enemies’ eyes!!!  Markl: Lmao self care is taking your birthday cake just so I can eat the frosting.  Howl: If you touch my birthday cake I’ll make you eat your hands.

—————————————————————

Cop: You’re receiving a ticket for having three people on one motorcycle.  Howl: Shit.  Ryan: Wait, three?  Cop: Yeah?  Sophie: OH MY GOD MARKL FELL OFF!!!

—————————————————————

Howl: *Screams*  Ryan: *Screams louder to assert dominance*  Sophie: Should we do something?!  Markl, observing: No, I want to see who wins this.

—————————————————————

Howl: I think Markl was right.  Ryan: I'm surprised he hasn’t marched in here to say 'I told you so.'  Sophie: He wouldn't do that.  Markl: You're right, Sophie. For once in your life, you're 100% right. I would never say that.  Markl: *turns around, the shirt he’s wearing says 'Markl Told You So' on the back*

—————————————————————

Howl: On a scale from “damn Daniel” to “fre sha vaca do”, how are you feeling?  Ryan: In between “it’s an avocado, thanks” and “how did you defeat Captain America”, but as a solid answer I would say “I don’t need a degree to be a clothing hanger”. How about you, Markl?  Markl: Probably “road work ahead”.  Sophie: I speak many languages, and this is none of them.

—————————————————————

Howl: Dammit, Ryan! Ryan: What?! It wasn’t me! Howl: Sorry, force of habit. Dammit, Sophie! Sophie: Not me either. Howl: Oh...Then who set the house on fire? Calcifer: *whistles*

—————————————————————

Ryan, banging on the door: Howl! Open up! Howl: Well, it all started when I was a kid... Sophie: No, he meant- Markl: Let him finish.

—————————————————————

Howl: Everytime I hear someone talking about updog, I’m torn between not wanting to fall for it and wanting to help them complete their joke.  Markl: Okay, but what is updog?  Sophie: Updog is a long sausage in a bun, often served with ketchup, mustard, onions, and/or relish.  Ryan: Not, that’s a hot dog. An updog is when a new version or patch of an application is released.  Calcifer: No, that's an update. You’re thinking of the fourth largest city in Sweden.  Prince Justin: Surely, that’s Uppsala, where’s updog is the giant spider in Harry Potter.  Markl: That’s Aragog. Updog is a symbol conventionally used for an arbitrarily small number in analysis proofs.  Howl: You’re thinking of epsilon. Updog is an upward-moving air current.  Sophie: No, that’s an updraft. An updog is the modern version of a henway.  Ryan: What’s a henway??  Howl: Oh, about five pounds.

—————————————————————

Howl: Croissants: dropped  Ryan: Road: works ahead  Witch of the Waste: BBQ sauce: on my titties  Markl: Shavacado: fre  Calcifer: Miss Keisha: fuckin dead  Sophie:  Sophie, grumpy: I didn’t understand a single word of that and I hate every single one of you.

—————————————————————

Howl: Poison is a magic transmutation potion that turns people into corpses.  Ryan: This knife is actually a magic wand.  Sophie: Meet me in the Denny’s parking lot for a wizard duel.  Markl: *cocks gun* Magic missile.  Calcifer: What the fuck is wrong with you people.

[whentherewerebicycles]

hello dear Jes, I am all out of good meal ideas!! I’m always in awe of your drive to cook and the great-looking meals you create. Any good recs for yummy and relatively easy / quick recipes? thank u 🙏

hello!! yes here are some very easy, low effort low prep recipes i love. the bolded ones are the ones i find myself making most often when i am like wow i do NOT want to cook but if i must do so, i wish to make the easiest thing ever.

shakshuka (all recipes are basically the same! i make it with canned tomatoes to cut down on prep, add a sliced jalapeno to make it spicier, and top it with feta and cilantro. if you are not crazy about eggs my sister often makes it with chickpeas and no eggs!)

thai peanut noodles (you can make as-is but i often add roasted broccoli and air fryer tofu if i have time!)

ricotta pasta with roasted broccoli and chickpeas (i roast the broccoli rather than broiling it as i am afraid of broiling lol but it's very easy and delish)

creamy corn pasta (my beloved)

spaghetti with onion-"bacon", corn, and basil

roasted sweet potato tacos (roast sweet potatoes, warm black beans on the stove with spices, and make easy quick-pickled onions if i have time - then you can add avocado, sour cream, cilantro, and any other toppings you like!)

potato egg and cheese breakfast tacos (i roast or air-fry small-cubed potatoes, scramble eggs, melt cheese into the eggs, and top with the salsa of your choice!)

migas breakfast tacos

tortellini with pesto and roasted veggies

caprese toasts (toast bread of your choice, then add pesto, sliced mozzarella, sliced cherry tomatoes, basil if you have it, and balsamic glaze... my all-time fave easy/no-cook meal)

pesto pasta with frozen peas (another super easy one i make when i want to barely cook at all - you boil the frozen peas in the pasta pot for the last three minutes of the pasta's cook time. then add pesto, grated parmesan, a squeeze of lemon, and halved cherry tomatoes if you have them)

easy asparagus soup (thinly slice a leek and cut 1-2 bunches of asparagus into half inch pieces. melt 3 TBS of butter in your pot, then saute the leek plus 5-6 cloves of garlic for 8 min. add asparagus pieces and 4-6 cups of veggie stock, bring to a boil, salt and pepper, and simmer for 30 min. transfer it all to a blender and blend, then add 1/4th cup grated parmesan and the juice of half a lemon. serve with crusty croutons and sliced chives)

roasted sweet potato & figs dish (you can also make with dried dates if you can't find figs!)

easy chana masala

nectarine, arugula, and feta salad (best in the summer when it's nectarine season but delish all year round... you can also use peaches. i usually serve it on a bed of quinoa so it's more filling/more of a main dish. the basil dressing is to die for i could eat it with a spoon)

avocado & egg sandwich (you can make this on a bagel, english muffin, or bread... just toast your bread, mash avocado onto the bread & sprinkle with red pepper flakes, and then scramble or fry eggs to your liking and put on top)

[moocha-muses]

"Wow, your hair is really silky!"

"Yeah. Uh. Yeah. My dad makes our shampoo himself; he says it's like cooking - you have really pretty eyes."

"Thank you :)"

"Wait, is that why y'all always smell like avocados?"

[cherry-blossom-triplets]

SBI+ Incorrect Quotes

The SBI+ Family as Incorrect Quotes!

Niki: Self-care is actually getting into fights with randoms in dark alleys. Tommy: No, self-care is stuff like taking a bubble bath, or putting on a lot of makeup if you like it or taking a nice warm nap! Technoblade: Self-care is the burning heat when rage washes over you!! Self-care is when you feel the bones crack under your powerful fists! Self-care is the fear in your enemies’ eyes! Wilbur: Lmao self-care is taking your birthday cake just so I can eat the frosting. Tommy: If you touch my birthday cake, I’ll make you eat your hands.

Wilbur: On a scale from “damn Daniel” to “fre sha vaca do”, how are you feeling? Niki: In between “it’s an avocado, thanks” and “how did you defeat Captain America”, but as a solid answer I would say “I don’t need a degree to be a clothing hanger”. How about you, Techno? Technoblade: Probably “road work ahead”. Phil: I speak many languages, and this is none of them.

Niki: Excuse me, I lost my brothers, Wilbur, Technoblade and Tommy. Can I make an announcement? Awesamdude: Oh, certainly! Niki: Goodbye, you little shits.

Niki: What the hell are you doing? Technoblade: I’m doing my eyebrows. Niki: That’s a big ass mirror. Technoblade: Well, I have big ass eyebrows.

Phil: Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the items you have lost throughout your life. Niki: Self-esteem, haven't seen you in years! Tommy: Oh wow, my childhood innocence! Thank you for finding this! Wilbur: I knew I lost that potential somewhere! Technoblade: My moral code, is that you? Phil: Phil: I was just gonna show you this cool trunk your mother left me, but do you guys need a hug?

Wilbur: Give us the gate key. Manburg Employee: I have no such gate key. Niki: Techno, tear his arms off. Manburg Employee: Oh, you mean this gate key.

Wilbur: Technoblade isn’t answering their phone. Niki: I’ll call. Tommy: Wilbur and I have both tried six times each, what makes you thi- Technoblade: Hello?

Tommy: I’m an idiot. Wilbur: Technoblade: Niki: Phil: Tommy: Wilbur: If you’re waiting for us to disagree, this is going to be a long day.

[chelleztjs18]

Vision (E.O)

Elizabeth Olsen x Fem!Reader

Sumarry: Both of you and Lizzie find a little sweet treat moment while grocery shopping.

Warning: None. A late Halloween late fluff fic from my Halloween event.

Requested: Yes by @xxxtwilightaxelxxx . I hope you like it! :D

A/n: Hello! Here's the second to last of my Halloween fics. I just finished writing this literally few minutes ago. lol. Thank you @honey-sweet-hiraeth for helping me brainstorming and share an idea i can put in this fic. :) Happy reading! Reblog and comments are highly appreciated.

Halloween Masterlist | Main Masterlist

“Okay babe, so we got the bread, anchovies, avocado, your favorite chocolate milk and all of the ingredients for our dinner tonight.” Your wife of three years mumbles as she checks the inside of the cart while reading the shopping list at the same time.

“I love how fresh the fruits and the meat this store has.” the blonde comments with a smile, her green eyes look at yours.

“See…I told you, Elizabeth. This store has better produce than the one you used to go to before we met.” Your smile and tone has obvious pride in it. She laughs a little right after that. “Y/n, honey, the other store has as good produce as the one in here. We started going to this one because it sells your favorite chocolate milk and cheese.” She jokingly shakes her head as she walks with you while you push the cart.

“Oh, let’s go to the candy aisle at the end. I want to get some just in case trick or treat-ers come to our house.” Lizzie points to the aisle.

“Ouh yess candy! Let’s go!” You respond excitedly.

Lizzie looks around as soon as both of you get to the candy aisle and grabs a few different bags of candy and chocolate. You put a bag of dark chocolates into the cart. Before Lizzie gets her chance to say that she is done and it's time to leave, something caught your attention and you exclaimed “Ouh babe, look! They have some Halloween stuff too. Look at those decorations they sell!”

"Oh yeah. They have pretty good stuff here." The blonde shows her agreement with you.

“Wow, out of all the Halloween themes and myths they can pick, they still don’t have werewolves stuff. Werewolves are so underrated!” Disappointment is written all over your face right after you can’t find anything werewolves related among the things.

“Aaawww, my poor puppy. Don’t be upset.” the Scarlet Witch cast teases you. A soft pat on your head from her then she gives a peck of kiss on your cheek. Surely, a blush magically appears on your face. You smile. “Well, I guess, I can’t be upset when you call me that and get a kiss too.” she winks and giggles at your comment.

“Oh, there’s some costume too, y/n. Oh, they have a kid's werewolf costume.” She excitedly shows it to you. “Oh! Yay, something werewolf! Oh, Liz! Look what I found!” You take your turn showing what you have found.

“It's a Scarlet Witch costume for little girls! Aaawwww!” Pride wraps your tone while holding the costume.

“Oh my gosh! That actually looks so cute! I remember the first time I tried on my real Scarlet Witch costume, it was a little tight and they put wires around me for the flying scenes. It was fun.” a titter jumps out of her lips while her mind recalls the funny memories.

“Oh yeah, I remembered the first time I saw you on set with that suit. You look insanely stunning in it” You wiggle your eyebrows with a teasing smirk and she playfully rolls her eyes.

“I remember that day, when I walked past you wearing the suit you tripped on a cord on the set after you were done doing Paul’s makeup.” Both of you laughed together from the quick trip on the memory lane.

You and Lizzie observe a little more until you see something interesting. "Look at these mason jars mug, darling! Witch's brew!" You try to say the last two words in a scary horror way followed by a fake witch laugh. She laughs at your antics, she always adores your silliness.

“Oh yeah, those are cool. Maybe we can use this for your apple martinis or absinthe cocktails. Isn’t witch’s brews always green in color?” Lizzie proposes her idea.

“Oh yeah, we’ll take this. Wanda should use this as her cup.” You joke and it easily gains another laughter from your wife.

“I know right. I’m gonna take a picture of this and send it to Aubrey since she is turning into a witch soon in Marvel with Kathryn.” a giggle slips out between her words as she smiles while she takes a picture of the said mug.

“Ssshh, Elizabeth! People might hear what you just said.” You remind her to be more careful about the confidential content in a whisper. “Oops, oh yeah. Sorry..sorry.” she apologizes in whispers as her right hand moves as if she is zipping her lips to keep the secret in her.

Then both of you hear a little voice from behind you. “Excuse me, Wanda? Is that you?”

Lizzie quickly turned around, so did you and found a cute little girl wearing the same exact Scarlet Witch costume. The little red haired girl is looking at your wife with such admiration. Her green eyes sparkle in excitement.

“Uh oh. Liz, do you think she heard what you said about Aubrey?” You ask in a whisper to her. “Babe, she’s just a kid. She probably doesn’t understand what we were talking about even if she heard it.” She answers you shortly before she greets the little girl.

“Oh hello, sweetheart. Yes, I am Wanda. You look exactly like me.” Lizzie’s warm and welcoming smile appears across her face. Soon after, the exhilarated girl’s mother comes. “Emily, there you are! Why did you run like that? I’m sor– Oh my god! Ms. Olsen! My daughters and I are fans of yours. She bought her costume here and she wanted to wear it early.” The mom was talking to the mini version of Wanda until she realized who her daughter was talking to and instantly got as excited as her daughter while explaining..

“Oh no. She’s fine. Don’t worry about it. She’s really cute. Also thank you so much.” Without any doubt Lizzie gives the brunette mom the reassurance she thinks that she needs as she crouches to the little girl’s eye level. You were going to do the same she did but you falter your move and stand there awkwardly instead when she asked your wife “Who is she? Where is Vision, Wanda?”

Lizzie and the little girl turn their heads together and look at you. “Her? Well, let me tell you, sweetie. So the world you see in the comic or movie is a different world than ours. In this world we live in, she is my Vision. She loves me as much as the other Vision loves Wanda and I love her too.” Her soft voice warmly explains and her hand rubs the girl’s arm gently.

“So she is Vision even though she looks different? Why she doesn’t look like a superhero? Where is the yellow stone?” Emily asks innocently.

Lizzie instantly laughs a little because of the cute row of questions. “Oh yeah she is. I know she looks different than the other Vision. Right now, she doesn’t look like a superhero because we are on a secret mission now and nobody can see us in our superhero suits but we can show you the yellow stone if you want.” Patience fills Lizzie’s answer and she starts to whisper a little saying the last sentence as if it’s a real secret. As usual, you take her answer as your cue to join in.

“Hello, sweetheart. My name is Y/n. I’m Wanda’s Vision here. I heard that you want to see the secret mind stone?” You ask excitedly in whispers and pretend to carefully look around.

The second after Emily nods in agreement followed by a whispered "yes, please." You pulled out a necklace with the mind stone replica diamond charm that was under your shirt.

"Whoaaaa! So cool! Mommy! Look! It's the yellow stone!" Emily's eyes fill with amazement as she looks at it and she soon forgets to keep it as a secret.

Her mom watches everything in awe and decides to play along and reminds her daughter "Ssst…Emily, they said it's a secret, remember?" She puts her index finger in front of her lips.

"Oh yes, I'm sorry, Wanda." Emily acknowledges her mistake.

"Aw, it's okay Emily. Do you want to know another secret?" You offer another secret to share with her and of course she nods one more time and this time with a bigger smile.

Lizzie knows what she has to say next. "Y/n and I share the stone together. We have the same necklace. So we will always remember each other." Just like you did, she pulls out her necklace and shows it to Emily.

Without missing a beat, she admires Lizzie's necklace as well.

This is not the first time both of you have to handle cute innocent Marvel little fans who ask these adorable questions. Since the first time a situation like this happened, you and Lizzie decided to have matching necklaces with the yellow diamond charm and always use this trick whenever some kids or family’s / friend’s children come up to both of you.

“Wow, Emily! That is so cool! Don’t forget to say thank you to Wanda and Y/n. We need to go, baby and I’m sure that they need to continue their secret mission too.” The lady walks closer to her daughter and initiates the idea to give your privacy back.

“Thank you Wanda! Thank you Y/n! One day, I will be a superhero like you.” Emily exclaims with confidence.

Warmth spreads in Lizzie’s heart, her eyes twinkle with joy while she responds to the girl’s gratitude. “You are welcomed, sweetie. Y/n and I will go back to our mission, to make sure there are enough fresh fruit and veggies for all the kids in the world including you.” She gently taps the tip of Emily’s nose and giggles together with her.

“Yes, kiddo. Don’t forget to eat your greens so you will be a superhero like us, someday.” You added.

“Come here, Emily. Let’s have a group hug.” invites Lizzie. The three of you quickly bundle up in the tightest hug a happy little hug a kid can give. WIth that, you and Lizzie spend a little more time talking with Emily’s mom then the four of you take a picture together.

Right away after you gain your privacy back with your wife and as you walk back to your car then put the groceries in. You look at her. You fall in love with her all over again. A thought came out of nowhere. It instantly draws a smile while you get inside the car.

“Babe, why did you look at me like that?” Her interest lures the question out of her.

“Oh nothing. You looked so adorable when you were interacting with Emily. She was so cute. You always love kids, so do I. We’ve been married for three years so I’m think—”

She gasps and her hand rapidly grabs yours in such elation. “Oh my god. Y/n, honey, are you thinking what I’m thinking?!”

All you can do right now is smile and that was more than words to answer her question. Her eyes glisten, she smiles from ear to ear and pulls you into a hug. Excitement raced through both of you.

You felt drunk with happiness because of a vision and a future you have planned with her.

A/n: Welp, that's it for today! Let me know what you think. See you in next!

Cheerio!

Taglist: @madamevirgo @musicinourlips @unstable-sapphic-hoe @fanboy7794 @chloe7076 @b0mbdotc0m @trikruismybitch @ichala @californianwhiterabbit @honey-sweet-hiraeth @imfuckinggenius @sxfwap @chaekhan @daenerys713 @luvmcgrath @stupidsapphicsstuff @pattypavo @frvny @franfineashell @heyyoweveryone @ygtft-chen @yaaskasey @sweeet-likeeee-cinnamonn @paumxmff @dopeyouth @beaniejennie @ineedafinghug @idkwhatimwriting @lucydiibi @mainly-rebloging-fics-i-like @gloriousfoxruins @grxvitye @mcubreakdown101 @aos22 @wandanatstan @paulawand @yeeterthekeeper @femalehomosexual666 @snowdrop1026 @modernmonalisa @nothingisrealanyway @idamaemann @sweeterlust @royalityofmultifandom @playboysaleen @peabrain112 @gwhaley127 @harleyswanda @bodhi-j @darth-rain @cristin-rjd , 

[the-down-upside-finch]

Incorrect Quotes Tag Game!

Thank you for the tag (on this post), @card-queen! I love doing these so much hehehe

Using this incorrect quotes generator, I... generated some quotes. This time I decided to do it with the main five from Pentad of Un! (I did a bunch so I'll put most of them under the cut.)

Adif: "Problem, I can't tell if this food is over-sauced or undercooked." Shayrow: "Solution, just put it back in the oven for another 10 minutes. There's at least a 50 percent chance that'll fix it, right?" Kestek: "Result? Food has somehow become unpleasantly soggy and unpleasantly crunchy at the exact same time." Luss: "No better time than this to pull out my favorite word! Slunchy!" Jelro: "…Put it away."

Kestek: "Why aren't there friend pick up lines? Pick up lines to make friends like--" Kestek, to Adif: "Hey, that's a cute outfit. You know where it would look better? On nobody else, because you're a beautiful individual." Luss, to Shayrow: "Be my friend or I'll set your entire family on fire." Jelro: "...There are two types of people."

Jelro: "Could you please go to the shop and get a carton of milk? If they have avocados, get six." Luss: [coming back from the store with six cartons of milk] "They had avocados!"

Shayrow: "Why would anyone want to harm Luss?" Kestek: "Maybe because they met him?"

Jelro, carrying a box: "What would you say if-- if I, hypothetically, came home with 7 kittens one day?" Adif: "…" Adif: "What’s in the box?" Jelro: "What woul--" Adif: "Jelro, what’s in the box?" Jelro: "I think you know."

Kestek: "How would you like your pancakes?" Jelro: "Plain." Adif: "With sprinkles!" Luss: "Chocolate chips." Shayrow: "Potatoes." [Jelro, Adif, and Luss look at Shayrow] Shayrow: "What? They're good."

Kestek: "What is wrong with you?" Shayrow: "Off the top of my head, I'd say low self-esteem, a lack of paternal affection, and a genetic predisposition for anxiety and depression."

Adif: "Do crabs think people walk sideways?" Jelro: "…Adif, what the f--"

And this one as a bonus because it made me laugh way too hard:

Luss, to Shayrow: "Wow, left handed AND British? You really are an illusion."

These are always so fun haha

Anyways, gonna gently tag @k-v-briarwood, @athenswrites, @maskedemerald, @my-cursed-prince, @worldsfromhoney, and leave the tag open for anyone that would like to play!

[mendokayalways]

“Wow, a wok!” 🤝 “An avocado! Thanks!”

[jade-efflorescence]

hiiii. im here to ask you some unnecessary and completely random questions//make you list something

: ̗̀➛ opinion on turtles?

: ̗̀➛ do you like roosters?

: ̗̀➛ does it snow where you live?

: ̗̀➛ do you have a painting or poster in your room? if so, what is it and why do you have ir?

: ̗̀➛ tell me 3 random facts about you that you've never said online

(FEEL FREE TO IGNORE THIS. MY FRIEND (MARE OR @/STVRLIGHHTT) DOES THIS SOO)

happy holidays my beloved mutual <3

hi fellow mutual! wanted to find a good time to answer all these questions in detail, sorry for the wait!

: ̗̀➛ turtles are one of the most adorable things ever. i love them. they're also sooooo fascinating to watch move around like oh wow what are they doing???

: ̗̀➛ i found this question really funny since i live in the country and my family currently owns chickens for eggs! roosters are awesome, they can be pretty loud tho XD some can be pretty temperamental too, really depends on what kind of rooster you're dealing with.

: ̗̀➛ it does! not a ton which is a bit sad :(( but we get a few inches or so throughout the winter! (excluding that huge winter blizzard we had last year haha)

: ̗̀➛ hmm i don't have a painting or poster but i do have a bulletin board i got to decorate my room with! after years and years of sharing a room with one of my sisters i got one of my own this past summer, and i thought having a pinboard would honestly be better than hanging up a big picture because i can change it up anytime i want XD this is what it looks like right now, except i recently got some star lights from christmas shopping and i stuck them around the frame of the board!

: ̗̀➛ fact 1: avocado is one of my least favorite foods (guacamole has become the exception)

: ̗̀➛ fact 2: i got into bracelet making BEFORE i even went to the eras tour movie bc i thought all the ones swifties were making looked too fun not to try! annnd now i have way too many beads and leftover bracelets of all sorts XD if anyone has a suggestion for giving them away that would be amazing actually

: ̗̀➛ fact 3: i wanted to be a ballerina or a scriptwriter/movie director when i was really little! never became either, but i danced all throughout high school and am actively looking at a future in the book publishing industry so ig those interests manifested in different ways <33

these questions were so much fun to think about! thank you for the ask, it made my day :D i love chatting with people here always so please feel free to send anything you like! and happy holidays to you as well!

[imaginarycyberpunk2023]

Get to know me

Been tagged by three lovely souls @peaches-n-screem @kdval and @cyberholic77 Thank you so much!

Relationship Status: Married

Favorite Color: Green and Berry, which, what a coincidence, are Vinnie's and respectively Macha's color that I like to dress them in if possible

Song stuck in my head: I am Woman by Emmy Meli -> my vibe lately for sure

Favorite food: Avocado Toast with Tomato, this gets me through half of the year at leas

Last song listened to: Another Love by Tom Odell -> 8 million views on that wow. Such a great song, those lyrics, the crescendo, everything is perfection.

Dream trip: I'mma steal the idea of wanting to visit all the friends I made in this community which would take me all over the planet really, which would be amzing. And then: the MOON!

Last thing I searched: "Keanu Reeves Age" That MF is 59 years old and one of the finest humans alive.

Tagging for curiosity reasons:

@pozerjacket

@tafferling

@fly-amanitaa

@t0tentanz

@streetkid-named-desire

Either spill your secrets or be unchromed forever muwahhahaha NO PRESSURE OFC

[cookie-run-kingdom-story]

CRUNCHY DREAMS! AREA 1

Sugar Glass Cookie: Z-z-z-z… Sugar Glass Cookie: Hm…?

Sugar Glass Cookie: I must have fallen asleep… But where am I…? Sugar Glass Cookie: I remember how we set off on a journey with Amber Sugar Cookie… Sugar Glass Cookie: Why am I here…?

Avocomedy

Host Cookie: Sweets and desserts! A-welcome! WELCOME! Host Cookie: For tonight, someone you’ve been waiting for will stand on this very stage! Someone who can make even the most serious Cookie burst into laughter! Host Cookie: Get ready to welcome the Cookie Kingdom’s most beloved comedian! A ROUND OF APPLAUSE FOR……! Host Cookie: AVOCADO COOKIE!!!

Avocado Cookie: Ha ha ha ha! Hi! Hello! Holy guacamole, there’s so many of you! Welcome to my show! Avocado Cookie: Are you ready to giggle?! Are you prepared to laugh?! I brought a hammer today with me, see? So I hope at least some of my jokes will hit the nail on the head! Ha ha ha!

Dark Cacao Cookie: Ah ha ha ha ha! Hit the nail on the head! With a hammer! Did you all get it? Avocado Cookie: Many of you may know me as the kingdom’s blacksmith! Avocado Cookie: I know you’re probably asking, “Avocado Cookie, what’s a blacksmith doing on a stage?” Avocado Cookie: But if you think about it, there isn’t that big of a difference between blacksmithing and stand-up comedy! Pomegranate Cookie: …Is there even a single similarity? Avocado Cookie: A good joke is like a good sword handle, you need a professional smith to make it weld-on! HA HA! Pomegranate Cookie: Pfffa ha ha ha!!! That’s hilarious… HA HA HA HA! Avocado Cookie: The weather in this kingdom is great, don’t ya think? The sunshine is always so nice! Tea Knight Cookie: Why? Because it is warm? Avocado Cookie: …Because it never throws shade! HA HA HA!!!

Tea Knight Cookie: Ha ha ha ha! It never throws shade! Because it shines light! Oh, my sides! Avocado Cookie: Your reactions make it all worth it! Avocado Cookie: But hey… do you know what a Cake Hound with a fever is called? Avocado Cookie: … A HOT DOG! Ha ha ha ha! Werewolf Cookie: ………Mmrh… Werewolf Cookie: …MMRA HA HA HA!!! A hot dog! Because it has a dever! HA! That’s GENIUS… Host Cookie: Ha ha ha! Truly the quality we’ve come to expect from the great Avocado Cookie! Avocado Cookie: I hope you all enjoyed tonight’s show! If any of you have a beef with me… Avocado Cookie: …Then let’s have a BBQ! Laughing Audience: AHA HA HA HAH!!! Avocado Cookie: See you all next time! Ha ha ha ha!

Avocado Cookie: …Ha ha ha…! Avocado Cookie: …Whuh? It was just a dream?! Avocado Cookie: …But even though it was a dream, seeing them all laugh felt good anyway! Ha ha ha!

Mint Choco Cookie’s Nightmare

Mint Choco Cookie: (Hm, the concert is right around the corner… I’m sure Cocoa Cookie will be happy to receive an invitation from me.) Mint Choco Cookie: (I’ve prepared many new pieces, too…!)

Cocoa Cookie: Oh, Mint Choco Cookie! How have you been? Mint Choco Cookie: Cocoa Cookie, hello! I love how sweet your cocoa fragrance is today. Cocoa Cookie: I’ve just had a mug of delicious cocoa while watching the snowflakes fall! That’s what snowy days are made for! Mint Choco Cookie: Um, here! I brought you an invitation to my next concert! I will play many new pieces I’ve composed myself…! Mint Choco Cookie: I’d love it if you could come! Cocoa Cookie: Oh wow! Thank you so much for inviting me! Cocoa Cookie: But the date is… next Friday…? Mint Choco Cookie: Oh… Other plans…? Cocoa Cookie: Oh no… I have another concert to go that day… Mint Choco Cookie: Another concert…? Cocoa Cookie: Rockstar Cookie will be playing a gig! I’m really into rock music these days! Cocoa Cookie: I heard one of his tracks the other day and felt like the song was resonating through my soul! Cocoa Cookie: And so, I just stood there the whole day, listening to the song! Cocoa Cookie: I’m so sorry I can’t go! I’ll go to your next concert, I promise…! Mint Choco Cookie: I see… Well, I’ll be happy to see you then!

Strawberry Cookie: Cocoa Cookie, are you home…? Cocoa Cookie: Strawberry Cookie! Come in! I’ve been waiting! Strawberry Cookie: Shall we go…? I really want to check out the Rockstar Cookie t-shirts before they’re all sold out! Cocoa Cookie: Let’s go! Let’s go! We can’t miss them, that’s for sure! Cocoa Cookie: Mint Choco Cookie, we must go now! See you at your next concert! Mint Choco Cookie: Um… Sure…! Have fun at the gig…!

Mint Choco Cookie: …See you next time… Mint Choco Cookie: …It keeps snowing…

Mint Choco Cookie: Ah…! Mint Choco Cookie: It was only a dream…! Phew! Mint Choco Cookie: …… Mint Choco Cookie: I should practice some more…! This performance must be absolutely impeccable!

Way of the Villain

Twizzly Gummy Cookie: MHA HA HA HA HA! Well well! Looks like the time has come… FOR REVENGE! HA HA HA! Twizzly Gummy Cookie: I’m gonna burn that little spicy chieftain TO THE TOAST! AH HA HA HA HA! Cookies: … Twizzly Gummy Cookie: AHA AHA HA HA! Hah…? Why are you standing there? Get your sorry dough here at once! Toothpaste Cookie: Boss… I mean… Twizzly Gummy Cookie! Listen, I’m all fed up with doing bad things. I’ve sorta decided to start it all over… Yeah, I’m gonna do that! Peeled Carrot Cookie: He’s right! “Those who avoid labor shall not eat,” you know? Guess I’m finally beginning to understand what it means! Wild Strawberry Cookie: If I’ve been too rough around the edges… Sorry! I’m sorry…! Half-Avocado Cookie: Ha ha ha! A cringy pun is better that* no puns at all!

*actual text

Twizzly Gummy Cookie: W-w-w-w-W-WHAT?! Are you brains-for-crumbs FOR REAL?! Twizzly Gummy Cookie: …Decency?! Honest… work?! Ah ah AH HA HA HA HA! What, humility?! We don’t need none of that in THIS dimension! Toothpaste Cookie: See, that’s where you’re making a mistake, Twizzly Gummy Cookie. We don’t need YOU! Peeled Carrot Cookie: That’s right! We’re gonna find ourselves a new boss! Wild Strawberry Cookie: Tiny, cute, AND completely non-menacing…!

Bat-Cat: That would be MOI! Bat-Cat! Cookies: SO ADORBS! Twizzly Gummy Cookie: What?! Ah ha ha… I MEAN, WHAT?!!! Did you sad bunch already forget about our adventures?! How fun it was to wreak interdimensional super havoc?! Cookies: We don’t know what you’re talking about! Twizzly Gummy Cookie: You… You… Twizzly Gummy Cookie: YOU…

Twizzly Gummy Cookie: ARE BORING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Toothpaste Cookie: Gosh, that was intense. Like, what’s your problem, boss? Twizzly Gummy Cookie: …Hmm. Ha ha… Ha ha ha…! Toothpaste Cookie: Boss? Ground control to boss Twizzly? Like, hello? Do we need to pick another boss? Peeled Carrot Cookie: Huh? But who’s gonna be the next boss? NOT IT! I like to do shady stuff behind the boss’s back! Wild Strawberry Cookie: Let’s have a fight! The winner becomes the new boss! Twizzly Gummy Cookie: Ha ha HA HA HA HA! THAT’S THE SSSSSSPIRIT! You naughty little Cookies! Toothpaste Cookie: Is that supposed to be a compliment…? UGH, I hate those… Twizzly Gummy Cookie: SHUT UP! No more talking, I’ve got something sweeter in mind! It’s been so long without the good all MAYHEM! My circuits are slowly getting FRIED! Half-Avocado Cookie: … Twizzly Gummy Cookie: Let’s turn this dream UPSIDE DOWN! Annihilate it, destroy it, and then… TWIZZLE IT! Wild Strawberry Cookie: The boss seems upset, huh. Let’s do it! Twizzly Gummy Cookie: What did I say, huh? Huh huh HUH HUH HUH HUH! INTERDIMENSIONAL SUPER MAYHEM!

[oumagines]

Spiked Punch

Anonymous Asked: "For a request, how about the “spiked punch” prompt from the creepy Valentine’s list?"

Warnings: Kidnapping, drugging, jealousy, implied punishment, implied strangulation (as a punishment)

Reader Pronouns: They/Them

Rating: 🍇

Notes: Wooo! First one-shot, let's gooooo!!!

When you got invited to Miu's party, you really didn't think anything of it. I mean, you were a college student, parties are almost a twice weekly occurrence, if not more. But what you couldn't ignore was the sudden influx of people looking at you strangely. Almost as though they were scared of you. Even your normal friend group that you'd attend these parties with just didn't seem interested in even looking at you. It almost had you worried... almost.

"Hey, Y/N!" a boy you recognized from your classes, Shuichi Saihara, called. You approached the group he was with carefully, where his best friend, Kaede, seemed to be goading him into saying something. "Are you, uh, going to Miu's party tonight?"

"Of course!" you beamed, then gave him a knowing smirk. "Gotta get the uni experience somehow, right?" you joked, playfully elbowing him as Kaede motioned for him to go on.

"R-Right..." he chuckled in that adorable nervous way that many people would comment on. Personally, you didn't quite agree, but you could see how it would be endearing to some. "Well then, I-I... I was wondering if... maybe you wanted to go with me?" His face was flushed red and he had little bits of sweat culminating on his forehead, but Kaede at least looked proud.

"Oh, um..." you mumbled, Shuichi looking more anxious with that. That was a definite no, right? "Y'know what? Sure. No harm in at least trying." The bell then rang and you sighed. "Catch you later. Pick me up at eight." And you gave him your sweet wave accompanied by an equally saccharine smile, completely oblivious to the absolutely fuming face glaring at you two in the distance...

˚₊· ͟͟˚₊·

When you arrived to Miu's dorm with Shuichi trailing behind you quickly, you weren't all that surprised to see drunk people dancing and jumping about, more often than not in provocative manners, since you'd been to at least a few of these parties before. Never one hosted by the popular Miu Iruma, but parties in general, at least. Those had to count for something, right?

"Wow," said a girl nearby, easily identified as Kyoko Kirigiri, someone you think you recognized as an upperclassman, maybe a senior. "Are these parties always this crazy?" she asked Shuichi, who gave a nervous laugh and a slight nod.

"Yep, pretty much," you answered for him. "This one doesn't even look like it's on the crazier end of the scale."

"Huh." Kyoko was enamored by you. Had Shuichi really managed to pick himself up a cute little partner? Shuichi was only popular because Kaede was, so it made sense that Kyoko was curious about you. "Hey, Shuichi, why don't you go get us some punch? I want to chat with Y/N a bit." Shuichi nodded and headed off to do as Kyoko asked. He's seen this a lot in movies, where they just need a few moments of the date gone to discuss between each other. "I didn't expect Shuichi to end up with someone like you. And before you ask, that isn't an insult. I meant I really expected him and Kaede or that avocado boy to end up together."

"Uh... thanks?" you semi-asked, suddenly feeling a bit more inadequate for the occasion. Kyoko noticed this and gave you a small smile.

"Don't worry, I don't mean that in a negative way. I'm just saying this to mention that you've managed to subvert my expectations. It makes me curious as to what you possess to draw his attention..." she wondered aloud, eyes looking you up and down for something to set you apart from everyone else, until finally, she paused. "Ah, I see."

"You do?!" you squeaked, a bit worried that maybe she'd found a wardrobe malfunction that you'd have to quickly fix to avoid looking like a weirdo.

"Yes," she answered rather quickly, adding onto it, "sort of. I can see it in your mannerisms why he likes you, even if I can't find anything physical to distinguish. You've got a good soul. And perhaps that's what attracted him to your side. Either way..." Her tone shifted to become more serious as she looked you in the eyes. "Take good care of him. He's my protégé, you know. He and I are close, so if you hurt him, I'll know."

You gulped a bit as Shuichi returned, handing both you and Kyoko a cup. "H-Here," Shuichi said with a small, nervous smile. "They actually ran out, but someone was kind enough to want Y/N to have theirs." You smiled, grateful that someone was willing to give you that, despite not actually knowing most of the people here.

"And people say romance is dead," you joked, chuckling to yourself as you began drinking the punch. Oddly enough, you noticed it had an odd metallic taste to it, but you thought nothing of it, knowing Shuichi isn't the type of guy to drug anyone, and that the punch was probably just poorly made with not enough sugar. "Ugh... Worst punch I've ever had..."

"Really?" Kyoko asked with a bit of confusion in her tone, tilting her head to the side. "Mine tasted fine. Shuichi, what about you?"

"Mine, too," Shuichi confirmed. "Must've just been a bad cup," he suggested, and you took that answer. Sometimes certain cups of juices and other drinks are just not all that good, you figured. It's an odd phenomenon, but you'd experienced it before in the weirdest of ways.

But still, you couldn't ignore the way you slowly began to lose your grasp on everything around you as the night went by. Everything was a blur, your mind was getting so hazy, you were getting just so tired... It came to a head when you ended up in a pose like a girl from the year above you called Mikan, leaving you utterly humiliated. Kyoko suggested you leave, and you agreed, but when Shuichi offered to walk you, you declined, stating that your place wasn't that far away, and that him walking you back would be a waste of everyone's time. So you began making your way home... alone...

You didn't even make it past the courtyard before you collapsed, unconscious on the grass as an ominous shadow began to tower over you.

˚₊· ͟͟˚₊·

When you woke up, the first thing you noticed was just how uncomfortable you were. Your back was aching and through your grogginess, you faintly registered the grating feeling of ropes rubbing up against your wrists and ankles.

And perhaps most disturbingly of all, you were greeted by a familiar face, scowling at you.

"Finally, you're awake!" His mockingly sweet tone would, in any other circumstances, make your blood boil. "What did you think you were doing...?"

"Huh...?" you muttered groggily, turning your head to wipe off your drool on your shoulder. "What do you mean? Where am I?"

"Our place! Where else?" he asked sweetly, causing an immense wave of nausea to immediately sweep over you. You had a class or two with this boy, Kokichi Ouma, but you hadn't spoken much and you were for damn sure not close.

"What do you mean?!" you shouted, the sleepiness starting to wear off now. "You kidnapped me, you psycho!" And then the realization of what little of the night before you could remember dawned on you. "You...! You put something in my drink, didn't you?! You're the reason I humiliated myself last night!"

"Well, can you blame me? You decided to cheat on me with that wannabe emo kid!" he shouted back, sounding like your average couple's spat... which made the fact that he said you were "cheating" on him all the more unnerving. "You should know better than to cheat on someone who loves you with all his heart! But it's okay. I forgive you because you're such a cutie, my silly S/O~"

"No!" you screamed, glaring fiercely at him as tears formed in your eyes. "Let me go! We aren't together! I could never love someone so batshit insane!" And that's when something seemed to crack inside Kokichi...

"You know what, S/O? I tried to be nice, but it seems you still aren't getting it..." He headed over to the opposite side of a room, where an array of... very disturbing tools lay, given the context. He picked up a large belt tied into the shape of a noose. "Perhaps it's time I remind you of your place..."