#or crying after losing a patient during surgery

[kaptainandy]

the best way to contextualize the difference in herbert's and dan's flavor of unhingedness is this: herbert commits outright medical malpractice while dan commits egregious HIPPA violations.

[maremartinelli]

EVERYTHING IS FINE

Ben Barnes X Doctor!reader

Summary: Where Y/n is an obstetric doctor and comes home in a bad way because one of her pregnant patients died during a procedure.

Words: 800+

Warnings: Pregnant reader, mentions of death and surgery, crying, baby, comforting Ben and soft ending.

Author: Firstly I wanted to say that English is not my first language, I apologize if there are silly and strange mistakes. Second, I wrote this story based on an episode of Grey's Anatomy. I'm totally addicted to this series and I could write so many things. (My Brazilian Wattpad readers already know this😄)

MASTERLIST

After a 12-hour shift, Y/n parks her car in front of the house's garage and turns it off.

It was supposed to be any shift, any day. Y/n loved what she did and always worked with joy, and regardless of the situation, she wouldn't let it absorb into her personal life.

But today was different. Lately it was different.

Today, Y/n ended up losing a patient she had been following for years. As much as she didn't want to, she ended up developing an affection for the woman she was treating, and seeing her die today on a surgical stretcher wasn't easy.

Even more so when the patient was pregnant. And Y/n too.

Y/n Barnes was 4 months pregnant with her first child with Ben. And it was clear that the concerns were greater, and today's case didn't help much. On the contrary, Y/n panicked just thinking if it were her in the patient's place.

The woman was still sitting in the car thinking about the patient. As she quickly glanced at the house, she realized that Ben had already arrived. She takes a quick look at the car clock and sees that it says 6:35 pm on a Friday afternoon.

She sighs deeply, trying to get the tears out of her eyes. Not letting them fall.

Until Y/n feels a small kick in her stomach.

"It's okay, my baby. Mommy is just a little tense. Don't worry" she passes her hands over her belly which was covered by a big coat and then gets out of the car.

She doesn't even want to pick up the bag that was on the passenger seat. She just wanted to get home and be in the comfort of her husband. And maybe cry a little. But it wasn't the option she intended to make.

As difficult as it was, she should forget about this case so that she wouldn't feel bad herself.

Y/n opens the door to the house and smells dinner.

"Honey, I'm in the kitchen" she heard Ben's voice, but she couldn't smile. The image of her patient on the surgery table had been tormenting her for the last few hours.

As she walked down the hall until she reached the kitchen, she felt tears coming to her eyes and about to run down her face.

"Honey, you're here" Ben says happily and turning to see his wife.

Y/n, who was now standing in front of Ben, a few meters away, breaks down and starts crying.

Ben frowns in concern and moves around the kitchen counter to get to his wife. Meanwhile, Y/n sobbed with one hand on her face and the other on her stomach.

"Y/n, honey" Ben approaches the woman and hugs her. "What is happening Love?" Y/n puts her head on Ben's chest and cries more, her hands now wrapping around the actor's neck. "Is it the baby?? Did something happen to our girl??" He asks worriedly, as he moves Y/n away so he can look at her face.

"N-no..." The doctor denies it with a whisper. "Our baby is fine" she says and that comforts Ben a little. "I'm just scared" Y/n confesses and lets a few more tears flow.

"What's wrong, honey? This is making me worry" Ben tucks a strand of his wife's hair behind her ear.

"Today I witnessed a case that really affected me. I know I shouldn't bring it here and dwell on it. But today a patient of mine died in the operating room" she says remembering and crying again. "And she was pregnant...she was 4 months pregnant too" Y/n sobs and leans against her husband again.

"Oh my dear, I'm so sorry" Ben hugs her and runs his hands through his wife's hair.

"And I was scared Ben, I don't want anything bad to happen to me or the baby. Not even to you" she says, still in the hug. "But imagine myself in her place, I shouldn't have done that" Y/n cries.

"My love, look at me" Ben says softly and Y/n looks away at him. "Nothing bad will happen to you, me, much less our baby. Okay?" The woman nods her head in agreement. "You're healthy, so is our baby. There's no reason for you to go to a surgery table" The actor kisses the top of his wife's head. "We're going to make it to the end of this pregnancy and we'll have our little doll in our arms, healthy and big" Y/n sobs and cries more.

A silence remains for a few minutes, while Ben rocked Y/n in a form of comfort and calm.

"Please don't ever let me go. I'm scared."

"I would never do that to you, my dear" Ben says kissing the woman's scalp. "I will be with you until the end. I love you"

[schirs77]

Here is the story in honor of Mister Rogers

Beth Usher was a normal 5-year-old girl when she had her first seizure. After that, she had more and more seizures, and doctors couldn't figure out what was wrong. The left hemisphere of Beth's brain was slowly shrinking, and she was losing function in the right side of her body. She couldn't go to school, eat without help, or be alone.

Beth's family was desperate to find answers, but the doctors couldn't help them. They took Beth from doctor to doctor, but no one could figure out what was wrong. Beth's seizures got progressively worse, until she was having 100 a day.

During this time, Beth found comfort in watching Mister Rogers' Neighborhood. She never had a seizure during the show, and she found Mr. Rogers' voice to be calming and reassuring. He was a friend to her when she had no other friends. Beth would talk to the screen at the end of each episode, telling Mr. Rogers that she loved him.

After waiting and waiting for a diagnosis, “𝘖𝘯𝘦 𝘥𝘰𝘤𝘵𝘰𝘳 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘴𝘢𝘪𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦’𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘰𝘯𝘦-𝘪𝘯-𝘵𝘦𝘯-𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘣𝘳𝘢𝘪𝘯 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦, 𝘪𝘵’𝘴 𝘦𝘹𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘮𝘦𝘭𝘺 𝘳𝘢𝘳𝘦, 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦’𝘴 𝘯𝘰 𝘤𝘶𝘳𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘪𝘵,” said Kathy.

It was Rasmussen’s encephalitis, a rare inflammatory neurological disease that only affects one hemisphere of the brain, and while there’s still no known cure, Dr. Ben Carson had performed successful surgeries on a few patients in the late 1980's, where they would remove half of the patient's brain that was affected by the disease.

Beth's parents decided to go through with the surgery, but were naturally very worried, so they decided to contact the one person who provided their daughter with relief and happiness throughout this whole ordeal.

She called the Mister Rogers Neighborhood studio and spoke with the secretary, explaining the situation and asked if they could get a signed copy of Mr. Rogers’ picture for her daughter.

Less than an hour later, the secretary called back with a special message.

“‘𝘞𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘣𝘦 𝘩𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘵 7? 𝘍𝘳𝘦𝘥 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘢𝘬 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘉𝘦𝘵𝘩,’” the secretary told Kathy. “𝘏𝘦 𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘥, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘐 𝘴𝘢𝘪𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘉𝘦𝘵𝘩, ‘𝘉𝘦𝘵𝘩… 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦’𝘴 𝘢 𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥 𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘩𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘺𝘰𝘶.’”

Beth was ecstatic, her parents left their daughter in the kitchen, and hovered closely in the hallway, crying as they listened to the conversation.

“𝘐 𝘵𝘰𝘭𝘥 𝘩𝘪𝘮 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 𝘐 𝘩𝘢𝘥𝘯’𝘵 𝘵𝘰𝘭𝘥 𝘮𝘺 𝘮𝘰𝘮 𝘰𝘳 𝘥𝘢𝘥. 𝘐 𝘵𝘰𝘭𝘥 𝘩𝘪𝘮 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘨𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘐 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘐 𝘮𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘥𝘪𝘦,” said Beth. “𝘐𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘵𝘢𝘭𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘢𝘯 𝘰𝘭𝘥 𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥.”

Beth spent over one hour on the phone talking with not just Fred Rogers, but with King Friday, Queen Sara, Lady Elaine, and finally Daniel Tiger, who ended the conversation, telling Beth that he loved her, and everything was going to be okay.

Before her surgery, a giant box of cassette tapes and Mister Rogers Neighborhood memorabilia arrived for Beth, which helped calm her.

On February 4, 1987, Beth underwent a 12-hour procedure to remove the left hemisphere of her brain, and while things initially seemed fine, she had a turn for the worse and slipped into a coma.

Days turned into weeks, and eventually months, and her friend Mister Rogers grew more and more concerned.

“𝘔𝘳. 𝘙𝘰𝘨𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘰𝘴𝘱𝘪𝘵𝘢𝘭 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘥𝘢𝘺 𝘵𝘰 𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘤𝘬 𝘶𝘱 𝘰𝘯 𝘮𝘦,” said Beth. “𝘞𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘴𝘯’𝘵 𝘪𝘮𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘦𝘤𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘢 𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘱.”

𝗠𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗥𝗼𝗴𝗲𝗿𝘀 𝗺𝗮𝗱𝗲 𝗼𝗻𝗹𝘆 𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝘀𝗶𝗺𝗽𝗹𝗲 𝗿𝗲𝗾𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘁...

𝗧𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘃𝗶𝘀𝗶𝘁 𝘄𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 𝗯𝗲 𝗽𝗿𝗶𝘃𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝘄𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 𝗯𝗲 𝗻𝗼 𝗽𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘀.

Mister Rogers flew from Pittsburgh to Baltimore, where a friend picked him up and drove him to John Hopkins Hospital where he sat beside Beth in her comatose state.

As her family and nurses stood in the doorway watching, Mister Rogers removed his puppets from his case.

“𝘏𝘦 𝘨𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘉𝘦𝘵𝘩 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘰𝘸𝘯 𝘱𝘳𝘪𝘷𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘸,” said her mom, Kathy.

And then left all his puppets for Beth so that she wouldn't feel alone when she awoke.

And she did come out of her comatose state shortly after his visit.

Upon learning about her reawakening when he called that day to checkup on her, Mister Rogers exclaimed, "𝘗𝘳𝘢𝘪𝘴𝘦 𝘎𝘰𝘥".

But their friendship didn't end there, they kept in touch as pen pals, and he always made sure to call Beth on her birthday, and when her grandparents passed away, Mister Rogers was there too, listening to her over the phone as she mourned their loss, and Beth even helped him write his commencement address for the University of Connecticut.

The world mourned the loss of Mister Rogers when he passed away in 2003, it was especially hard on Beth and her family, who he had helped so much during one of the toughest times in their life.

“𝘞𝘦 𝘥𝘦𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘺 𝘥𝘦𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘺 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘱𝘦𝘰𝘱𝘭𝘦 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘩𝘪𝘮. 𝘚𝘰 𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘺 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦𝘴, 𝘸𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘴𝘢𝘺, ‘𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘍𝘳𝘦𝘥 𝘥𝘰?’” said Kathy.

The answer is simple: 𝗝𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝗯𝗲 𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗱.

[localplaguenurse]

Hey.

uwu

Thinking of doomed to die ver for the boys

I was thinking of cancer like as in either Jason or Oli got it, like sure it can be cured but there’s no guarantee it’ll be gone for good, it’ll most likely come back. So they would spend the last couple years,months, and days doing everything they always wanted to do together before the unavoidable happens.

Well Ivy, you're (hopefully) asleep rn as I'm answering so idk if you'll see the notif for this being answered first, or my discord messages.

I don't think I explicitly told you this, and I don't know if you put the pieces together yourself, but Oli's creator is @wretchedshade, who actually had cancer herself. She's beat it since, and she actually just got her bloodwork done again and she's still in the clear.

As such, I had her help in writing this out. This is all based on our instagram messages. I'm also going to put a "read more" here because while it won't get into the nitty gritty details, cancer is not fun. Actually got a little emotional typing it out rip-

Content warning: cancer and cancer treatments, referenced smoking and drug/alcohol usage, mentions of depression and suicide

Oli would more than likely develop lung cancer. He was a smoker for a while and he did start quitting around the time he and Jason got together, fully ditching the habit once the two brought Alice home. It's stage two cancer because Shade wants to be nice, so he'd be doing light chemo and taking medication. She wanted to make it stage three like hers was where he needs emergency surgery, heavy chemo, possible radiation.

Since it's the lungs though, which are delicate, he'd have to do chemo/radiation to shrink the cancer/tumors down before they have to actually go poking around in there and making the really hard decisions.

"And despite it all and the constant pain, nausea, breathing problems and losing his hair, Oli still has a smile on his face bc even though he's been told his chances are good, if something does go wrong he doesn't want his husband and daughter's last memory of him to be how much he suffered." - Shade

Jason would refuse to cry in front of Oli or Alice. He needs to be their support system. Alice is young, she doesn't fully understand why this is happening and is scared she's going to lose her papa, and Oli's the actual cancer patient. The cancer patient doesn't need to console the healthy man and tell him everything's going to be okay, because Jason's not the one with cancer. He saves his tears for when no one is around and for the day Oli gets cleared.

If it were Jason, it would more than likely be pancreatic cancer, possibly even leading to liver cancer. While his main and worst addiction was cocaine, he was also a really heavy drinker during his band days. Even in the years after leaving the band, he still struggled with alcohol and binge drinking every now and then whenever he had a really bad day.

Regardless of the stage of cancer and if he is/isn't going to make it, he's pulling out his "bucket list," something he whipped up back when he was a suicidal teenager who thought he was going to go out in a drug fueled blaze of glory like all the other rockstars he admired did. It's a dumb list of dumb shit, but he picks out a few activities that he thinks are still fun or doable, and he does them with his friends and family so that regardless of where he winds up, they'll think of the fun times before the shitty ones.

It would also be one of those instances where he actually talks to and tries to spend time with his dad. Hell, it might be enough that his dad finally stops being a bitter bastard and gives Jason's "nontraditional" family a chance. Jason got his spite and temper from someone, but even his dad knows this is not a time to be a bigot when his first and only child is sick.

He also doesn't want anyone making comments about his hair. No jokes, no remarks, no pointing out bald spots. Jason's favourite part of his appearance is his hair, and he was devastated hearing he'd lose it during his treatment. What lessens the sting is him and his daughter picking out chemo beanies and wigs for when he finally goes bald. It also helps to make Alice less worried about everything, and is a nice bonding experience during a really difficult situation.

Alice kind of exists in my head in a perpetual limbo of either baby or small kindergartener, maybe a teenager. I'm picturing her being 5-6, still really young. She's a sweet child and loves her dads dearly, so when they get a call about a fight at school, it turns out it's because she started hitting a kid that made a comment about whichever dad has cancer. Jason's "talk shit get hit" mentality is genetic. She felt bad because she doesn't like hitting people, but other than that she refused to apologize to the other kid.

[daylight-dreams-world]

So I binge watched all 5 seasons of The Good Doctor in 10 days while recovering from tonsillectomy. Hooo boy it was a ride. I really love this show, sure it has some issues, but as a neurodivergent woman, I really really liked it. 🥰

I had seen first two seasons before, but watched them again. I love how Shaun and Lea's relationship progressed, how Shaun is always learning and evolving, how his relationships with his coworkers have blossomed. Oh and I loved almost all the medical stories. This is gonna be kind of like word vomit, sorry, but gotta get my thoughts out.

Season 1 is a classic, introduction to characters and the world, ending with Dr Glassman getting a really bad diagnosis, but Shaun pushing himself to find if it's the right one and saving him in the process. Also all the things with Lea. Hate Dr Melendez and Dr Andrews. Love Dr Kalu and Dr Browne. Shaun had a really bad childhood and it makes me so sad 😐 But also pretty relatable?

Season 2 intoduces Dr Lim, Dr Reznick, Dr Park and Dr Han. It's kind of heavier season? Dr Kalu has to leave, Dr Han is a fucking PRICK🙂 and I am glad Dr Andrews came to his fucking senses and protected Shaun. People are still questioning if Shaun should be working there during this season and it's.. sad.

Lea and Shaun become roommates, OMG they were roommates!!😳😳 I don't like Dr Reznick, she kinda reminds me of Haley from Stardew Valley. Dr Lim and Park are really nice. Melendez and Lim become a couple and it's SO CUTE! I love Claire's support for Shaun. ❤️ It was heartbreaking to find out about Dr Glassman's daughter though ��

Season 3.. it's really good. Might be my favourite season so far? We see Shaun pursuing a relationship with Carly, getting closer and more comfortable with eachother. Eventually they break up and Shaun tries to tell Lea how he loves her, but she has insecurities and doesnt want a relationship. Shaun struggles with losing both Carly and Lea 🥺 Claire struggles a lot this season, Im glad that Lim and Melendez are helping. Reznick being diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis is very fucking sad. She is SO driven to be a surgeon, but she probably has to give it up.

But my favourite part was probably the two-parter season finale. THE ENDING DESTROYED ME 😭😭😭😭😭😭 Melendez dying came out of NOWHERE, I was so hoping for a magical last minute cure which never came... I really loved Melendez this season and how he helped Claire. Also this taught me how you should never ignore "small" injuries, it's not worth to die for. They could've had the romance of the century 😭❤️

I am really glad the ending helped Lea realize how much she loves Shaun. Also Dr Park with that boy stuck under a bar that fell during the earthquake, slowly dying.. LET'S JUST SAY THERE WERE A LOT OF TEARS THIS SEASON 🥲🥲🥲

Season 4 starts with coronavirus two-parter opening. It's super sad and I am actually kinda surprised, that only Dr Lim ended up with PTSD. This season introduces us to new residents that Reznick, Park, Shaun, Claire, Lim and Andrews have to teach. Loved Olivia, but I was sure she was gonna quit. The other guy didn't really resonate with me, but it made me sad how they kinda made fun of polyamory. Dr Allen.. she's nice, but I don't really like overly religious people. Dr Asher Wolke, however, is my FAVOURITE?! after Shaun and Claire and Melendez? His story really resonated with me, him leaving his family and religion to be himself. Oh and it was so sad when he lost his freaking FIRST PATIENT?? 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 Him continueing CPR even though he knew it was futale.... Made me cry so hard.

Dr Reznick giving up surgery was really sad, I felt for her so much.

Meanwhile, Lea and Shaun's relationship is blossoming and turns out Lea is pregnant! I'm glad they showed us the option to abort. I kinda spoiled myself though 💀 Was scrolling through episodes list and saw about grief and well, that happened, they lost the baby. I don't EVER want kids myself, but they portrayed the loss very well and I felt a lot of empathy for both Lea and Shaun.

I really loved the season finale two-parter in Guatemala. To see how life is there, how privileged I am to have FREE healthcare. I knew Lim and that guy were going to get together, but I didn't really like it. I really liked how Lea at first refused to hold that woman's baby but then did and also helped all night. I think that really helped her deal with grief. Park and Reznick getting together was.. surprising but I like it? CLAIRE LEAVING WAS SAD :( We lost Melendez last season and well, at least Claire didn't DIE, but it was sad to see her go, especially since she is Shaun's best friend. Lea proposing was very surprising but nice!!

Season 5, final season for now, I didn't actually like THAT much? Maybe like 2nd best from the bottom. I hated, that The BITCH Salen posed as a PATIENT with ADHD and then turned out to be buyer of the hospital. I hated her guts, so much. Also hated Reznick and Andrews for a while, but at least they made up for their mistakes. First half of the season was just stressing me the hell out. Also Lea and Shaun fighting 😐 and having trouble deciding on the wedding. The Shaun Show and The Lea Show were very nice episodes ❤️ I am glad they finally married in the final episode, they teased us so much!

AND I AM FREAKING OUT ABOUT DR LIM AND THAT NURSE, GUYS PLS DON'T BE DEAD, YOU CAN'T DO THAT TO ME AFTER MELENDEZ WHICH I AM STILL NOT OVER WITH!!

That was a lot, you're a hero if you read this far, thank you! ❤️ I can't wait for the next season to break and mend my heart even more🥰❤️

[skinsculpt]

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What are liposuction's benefits and drawbacks?

Liposuction, like any other plastic surgery procedure, has benefits and drawbacks. The medical procedure, on the other hand, gets rid of excess fat that won't go away. Regardless of how much you exercise or eat, this can help you get rid of fat that may be tight. You may find that your clothes fit better after liposuction, and you will have a higher standard of body image.

However, the fact that liposuction is a surgical procedure is one of its benefits. Of course, you'll cry and get some bruises, but most of them won't be too bad. To recover from the medical procedure, you may also need time off from work.

Who carries out liposuction?

Your liposuction procedure will, of course, be performed by a board-certified plastic surgeon. The expert you choose should be skilled in liposuction and have numerous credentials to support any case.

It is essential to visit and meet our skilled surgeons. Dr. Himanshu Paul's Skin N Sculpt Liposuction in Chandigarh Skin N Sculpt is a welcoming facility that offers simple liposuction in Chandigarh. Before you decide to upgrade the system, you might want to consider this. You can get a sense of the expert's bedside manner as well as their general knowledge and experience by having a conversation with them.

You should also ask to see pictures of previous patients before and after liposuction.

What follows liposuction?

What can you anticipate following liposuction at any time? In most cases, a brief recuperation period is required. It may change how long you want to take off from work and other activities. After a few days, you may feel ready to return to work, or it may take up to fourteen days for you to recover.

Even though you need to be prepared for swelling and expansion in the treatment area, you are probably going to notice some results shortly after the procedure. Most of the time, the swelling and enlarging will stop after a few days or weeks, and you'll start to see a change in your body's shape and size.

After a procedure, your doctor may advise you to wear a body-molding pressure garment around the treated area for a few weeks to speed up the recovery process.

Do you need more information about liposuction? Do you want to go the other way? Record a conversation with Dr. Himanshu Paul, a board-certified plastic surgeon who worked as an assistant at Skin n Sculpt Liposuction in Chandigarh. Participant in Everyday Medical Procedures, PGI multiple times, and greatly involved in overseeing and working on a variety of common, urgent, and unusual cases, such as Neurosurgery, Paediatric Medical Procedures, Endo-surgery, GI A Medical Procedures, Urology, Consumes, Injury, and Plastic Surgery cases. Call +91 98551 26663, and +91 98551 26664 to record your conversation. Additionally, go to

[bariatricsurgeryinbangalore]

Do Not Be Afraid of Hernia Surgery

Hernia surgery is the most common surgery performed worldwide. Almost more than 20 million people annually undergo hernia surgery around the globe. In India, men and women are treated every year for a hernia. 

 The hernia is caused when any of your internal organs push through the weak spot in your tissue or muscle. It can be of several types, the most common being inguinal or femoral. 

 An inguinal hernia happens when fatty tissue or part of the intestine pokes at the top of the inner thigh region. It affects more men than women. 

 Femoral hernia is less common than inguinal one, and mainly older women are affected by it. Fatty tissue or part of the intestine protrudes through the groin. 

 What are the causes behind femoral and inguinal hernia?

 Both hernias are caused because of weak muscles. The weakness in muscles can develop because of aging, physical exertion, pregnancy, obesity, constipation, or frequent coughing. 

 What can be the symptoms of a hernia?

 For the above-mentioned hernias, you will see a noticeable lump in the groin area that can disappear while lying down. Any kind of physical exertion, like crying, laughing, or straining during a bowel movement can cause the bulge to reappear. You may also feel pain around the lump area. The size of the lump may also increase with time. 

 How hernia is diagnosed?

 Usually, doctors diagnose a hernia by physical examination of the area where the bulge has occurred. Further test like CT scan is performed to appropriately diagnose the condition. 

 Is hernia curable without surgery?

 Most hernia patients are afraid of surgery and try to avoid it. But, femoral or inguinal hernia usually do not get better on their own. Surgery is the only alternative to repair them. Although hernias cannot heal naturally, surgeries can treat them effectively. If left untreated, hernias can lead to various complications like severe pain, obstruction in bowel movement, nausea, and others. So, if you think you may have a hernia, it is important to consult a medical professional immediately. 

 Which doctor to visit if you have a hernia?

 You may go to the general physician for a primary diagnosis. If the doctor thinks that the proper course of action will be surgery, then consider it is required. He or she will then send you to a general surgeon. Many renowned doctors in Bangalore have performed hernia surgeries successfully over the years. Remember, experience holds the key here. You must consider the experience of the doctors for further consultation. Always compare and choose the best hernia doctor in Bangalore who can treat your problem in the best possible way. 

 There are some signs to understand whether it's a serious condition. These include Fever, a painful bulge that looks reddish or purple, bloating, excessive pain, difficulty in bowel movement, vomiting, nausea, and racing heart rate are some of the common signs that indicate an emergency and need medical attention.

 What to do after surgery?

 Usually, if the person having a hernia is obese doctor suggests they lose weight to nullify the chances of recurrence. Lifestyle changes, like including more fruits and vegetables in the diet, no smoking, light exercises, and an increase in the intake of water are often suggested by doctors. 

 If weight reduction is a problem doctor may suggest bariatric surgery in that case as well. 

 The doctor is the best person to consult with if you notice or feel any lump in your inner thigh or groin areas. If it is a hernia, the doctor will guide you through the following procedures. 

[truthshield]

What Brittani Fulfer From My 600-Lb Life Look Like Today

My 600-Lb Life success story Brittani Fulfer managed to shed a jaw-dropping 230 pounds during her time on the show, but what does she look like today? What does Brittani from My 600-Lb Life look like now? TLC reality show My 600-Lb Life is the creation of TV producer Jonathan Nowzaradan and stars his father Dr. Younan Nowzaradan – a surgeon and weight loss expert who is affectionately known as “Dr. Now.” The series has aired ten seasons since debuting on TLC in 2012 and each episode chronicles a year in the life of a morbidly obese person as they try to bring their weight down to a healthier level with Dr Now’s help. My 600-Lb Life participants are usually put on a strict exercise and diet regime by the good doctor with the goal of losing enough weight to be approved for weight-loss surgery. Some of Dr. Now’s patients fare better than others, of course, but the reality series has produced its share of success stories. Season 2’s Chuck Turner, for example, weighed in at 693 pounds when he turned to Dr. Now for help and lost a staggering 433 pounds during his My 600-Lb Life journey, Similarly, season 4’s Milla Clark has shed a jaw-dropping 600 pounds since she appeared on the reality show. SCREENRANT VIDEO OF THE DAY Related: What Happened To My 600-LB Life’s Margaret Johnson After The Show Fellow season 4 patient Brittani Fulfer is another My 600-Lb Life success story. At the start of Brittani’s 2016 episode, she weighed just over 600 pounds and revealed she began binge-eating after being abused as a child. With the help of Dr. Now and a gastric bypass, the Oregon native had managed to shed 230 pounds by the end of her year-long weight loss journey and began addressing the reasons for her compulsive eating with a therapist. Since then, her appearance on My 600-Lb Life Brittani seems to be thriving. TLC caught up with Brittani in the follow-up series My 600-Lb Life: Where Are They Now? twice in 2017 and 2018. Where Are They Now? revealed that she’d managed to shed even more pounds and underwent surgery to remove the excess skin left behind after her weight loss. Brittani also informed viewers her relationship with husband Bill had gone from strength to strength since she began her journey and that they were considering trying for a baby. There haven’t been any more official updates on Brittani Fulfer since she last appeared on the reality TV show’s follow-up series and she doesn’t seem to be publicly active on social media either. However, judging by what she does post on social media, Brittani looks very healthy and almost like a completely different woman compared to her first appearance on My 600-Lb Life. Next: What Brandi & Kandi From My 600-Lb Life Look Like Today Tales Of The Walking Dead Trailer Reveals 6 New Stories In Spinoff Show About The Author Helen Armitage (1042 Articles Published) Helen Armitage is a freelance writer based in the UK who has been writing online since late 2013. She’s produced content for the likes of Culture Trip, WhatCulture and Prague.TV and started writing for Screen Rant in 2019 – firstly as a news writer before progressing onto writing mini-features. Helen is a lifelong fan of the horror genre which started in the 1980s when films like Gremlins and Cat’s Eye scared the life out of her as a kid. If she had to pick a favorite horror movie it would probably be The Shining but Ari Aster’s Hereditary and Midsommar rank in joint second place. Helen loves a good movie musical too and has probably watched The Rocky Horror Picture Show, Hedwig And The Angry Inch, The Blues Brothers and Little Shop Of Horrors more times than is healthy. She’s obsessed with dogs too so any films from the “sad dog movie” genre (Homeward Bound, Marley & Me, etc) make her ugly cry big time … but she’s still a cold-hearted horror movie fan, ok? More From Helen Armitage https://ift.tt/SbhMe4k https://ift.tt/ES4FA1a

[allthingsfangirl101]

A Change of Heart Part 2–Matt Brody

Part 1

Wattpad request by psych0bxtch

Matt's POV

When I heard the flatline, my stomach dropped. The only thing I could hear other than the worst sound in the world was Summer sobbing violently as Mitch tried to keep her from collapsing to the floor.

"No," she kept sobbing. "She can't be. . . Please tell me she isn't. . . Mitch. . . She's my baby sister. . . Please."

"Keep trying," I said under my breath when I finally found my voice. Everyone looked at me as I cleared my throat and took a step towards the ambulance.

"Keep trying," I said louder as they slowly started to unhook Y/N's lifeless body from their machines. "You can't give up on her. She's. . . We need her."

I ignored Summer's questioning look and instead, my eyes glanced towards Y/N. Suddenly, my view of Y/N in the back of an ambulance changed to the last time we were alone together in the South Lifeguard Tower. I couldn't decide if I was more haunted by her laying there unmoving or the look in her eyes when I rejected her.

"I need her," I mumbled. I glanced over at Summer to see her tears slowly stopping.

"Matt?" She said under her breath.

We broke our eye contact when we heard them charging the defibrillator. I held my breath as we all waited to hear the heart monitor start beeping. As we impatiently waited, Summer walked over to me, but I didn't look away from the EMTs working on Y/N.

"What did you mean when you said you need her?" She asked, her voice barely a whisper. "Be very careful with your next words, Matt."

"I can't imagine my life without her," I blurted out. I kept my eyes on Y/N and the EMTs as I continued, "I hate that us almost losing her is what made me realize it."

"No," Summer cut me off, making me finally look at her. "You aren't doing this. Y/N is an amazing girl and you broke her. You broke her, Matt. She finally got the courage to tell you how she felt and you shot her down. Are you telling me that all this time. . . Or are you just suddenly realizing it because we might. . . No. My sister deserves better. Y/N deserves a guy who knows he wants to be with her. Not some Olympic Asshole who picks and chooses when he gets a girl."

I opened my mouth to respond but was interrupted when we heard a beautiful beep. You could hear us all sucking in a synced breath when we recognized the sound. We turned around and saw the EMTs letting out relieved sighs.

"She's back," an EMT said as he glanced over at us. "We got her back."

"Alert the surgical team at the nearest hospital," the other EMT started giving instructions. "We need to get her into surgery as soon as we get there."

The EMTs started talking indistinctly as they hooked her up to more machines. I jumped when they slammed the door shut and the ambulance sped off. I turned to say something to Summer but she was already jogging towards her car. CJ and Stephanie sent me matching glares before following Summer. Ronnie cleared his throat, awkwardly avoiding eye contact with me.

"We're going to the hospital," Mitch said with not even an ounce of emotion in his voice. "Want a ride?"

We rode to the hospital in silence. I watched the buildings zoom by, the anger in Summer's voice repeating over and over again. The glare she gave me sent chills down my spine just thinking about it.

She was right. Y/N is too good for me.

As we sat in the waiting room, I thought back to our conversation in the South Lifeguard Tower. The longer I thought about it, the more I realized I never shot her down. I didn't say anything to her. She assumed I didn't have feelings for her because I didn't say anything. I didn't say anything because I was too shocked.

I looked up and noticed Summer watching me with tears streaming down her face. She had numerous reasons to be pissed at me but the real reason was because of the conversation in the South Lifeguard Tower. I stood up, nervously wiping my hands on my shorts as I walked over to her.

"Don't," she said, her voice getting caught in her throat. "I don't care how guilty you feel about shooting my sister down. I have more important things to think about. Like how Y/N is fighting for her life on a surgery table right now."

"Summer," I stuttered. "Please just. . ."

"Stop!" She yelled, quickly standing up. "My sister is dying, Matt. I don't give a shit that you feel guilty for turning her down. You have no idea how much you hurt her."

"I didn't. . ." I stuttered.

"Of course not," she scoffed. "She took two weeks off from work. Want to know what she did during that time? She spent the entire two weeks crying her eyes out. She was embarrassed, defeated, humiliated, and felt like she couldn't face you. Here's the real kicker; she came back for you!"

"What do you mean?" I asked under my breath.

"You were losing it, Matt," she sighed. "We could all see it."

I looked behind her to see everyone else watching us with the same look on their faces. When I made eye contact with Mitch, he shook his head and looked around the waiting room.

"Summer," I said, my voice breaking as I turned back towards her.

"Enough," she said through her teeth. "Y/N doesn't deserve you, Matt Brody. She deserves better."

* * * * *

An hour later, we still hadn't heard anything from the doctors working to save Y/N's life. We sat in the waiting room of the ER, all of us on edge. Whenever someone walked through a door, we all jumped.

"For Ms. Y/N Quinn?"

We all jumped up, slightly surprising the doctor when he saw how many of us were there. He looked around, trying to figure out which one of us he needed to address first.

"I'm her sister," Summer said shakily as she took a step towards him. "Is she. . . Did she. . . Please tell me she's okay."

"Your sister is one hell of a fighter," the doctor smiled sweetly at her.

"She's okay?" Summer said with nothing but hope in her voice.

"For the most part," he said slowly.

"What does that mean?" Ronnie asked.

"Well," the doctor said, slightly clearing his throat. "As you know, they were able to restart her heart in the back of the ambulance but her vitals were too low when she got to the hospital. As we took her into an exam room, she stopped breathing again. After a few tests, we discovered that it wasn't just the drowning that almost killed her."

"What was it?" Summer asked, slightly taking a step closer to the doctor.

"A bullet."

My breath got stuck in my throat. I looked over at Summer to see her covering her mouth, trying to stop the sob.

"When the hell was she shot?" CJ asked under her breath.

"Underwater," Mitch mumbled to himself. We turned around to see him thinking about something.

"Mitch?" Summer said under her breath.

"Before I jumped in after her, I thought I heard something strange. If I hadn't hesitated. . . I'm so sorry, Summer. I heard the gunshot and that's what made me jump in after her. I should've done that sooner. I'm so sorry."

"This isn't your fault," she said gently. My heart dropped into my stomach when Summer glanced over at me.

"How is she?" Mitch asked.

"We got the bullet out," the doctor continued, "and stopped the bleeding, but she still lost a lot of blood during the surgery. I'm afraid she's slipped into a coma."

"When is she going to wake up?" Summer asked almost instantly.

"We can't be entirely sure," he sighed. "She could be asleep for a few more hours or a few more days. When a patient loses a lot of blood, their mind tends to shut off until that blood is reproduced. But I can assure you that we are doing everything we can to make her feel comfortable until she does. I can take you to see her, Ms. Quinn."

When the rest of us took a few steps closer to Summer and the doctor, he stopped us. "I'm sorry," he said, clearing his throat, "but only family can go into the ICU."

Even though we didn't like it, we sat back down. I intertwined my fingers, struggling to calm my nerves. The next few days were never-ending. While the others went home, I stayed sitting in the uncomfortable ER waiting room chair.

"Matt."

I jumped when I felt someone kick my foot. I looked up to see Mitch standing above me with his arms folded. He sighed as he slightly shook his head.

"Go home."

"I'm good," I said, clearing my throat.

"No, you're not," he sighed. "You haven't slept, you've barely eaten, and you look like shit. Not to mention that you reek."

"I'm not leaving," I said sleepily.

"Matt," he sighed again as he sat next to me. "I know you feel guilty for what happened to Y/N, but the boat fire had nothing to do with you. If anyone is to blame, it's me. I was the one who didn't jump in after her soon enough. I keep hearing that damn underwater gunshot. It replays in my mind and my dreams. This was my responsibility. All of your safety falls on me. I failed Y/N. And Summer."

I suddenly realized how much this has been weighing down on him. His shoulders were tense, his back was hunched, and his eyes were heavy.

"Mitch," I said, making him look at me, "Y/N wouldn't blame you for anything that's happened. You jumped in, you found her, you brought her back to the boat. You saved her, Mitch. All I did was break her heart."

"About that," Mitch said, clearing his throat to cover his laugh. "What the hell, man? She told you how she felt, you shut her down, then she gets hurt and that makes you suddenly have feelings for her?"

"First of all," I sighed, "I didn't shoot her down. I didn't respond right away and she took that as me not having feelings for her. Second, I didn't say anything about "suddenly" having feelings for her."

"Hold on," he said, more anger in his voice. "After all the shit that's gone down, you actually have feelings for her?"

When he looked at me, he saw my answer clearly written on my face. He scoffed as he looked away, slightly shaking his head. When he looked back at me, I felt like a kid about to get scolded by my father.

"Please tell me you realize how much of an asshole you are," he scoffed.

"Mitch," I stuttered.

"Y/N is an amazing girl. You'd be lucky to have someone like her interested in you. Honestly, you don't deserve her anymore. Hell, you didn't deserve her when she told you how she felt. And if you walk into that hospital room and confess to having feelings for her all along. . ."

He didn't finish his threat. Instead, he stood up and wiped his hands on his pants. He was about to walk away but stopped. He didn't bother to turn around as he spoke up.

"By the way," he said through his teeth, "She's awake."

I watched Mitch leave before slowly standing up. I made my way down the hallway, my nerves jumping all over the place the closer I got to her. I hesitated outside her room, continually wiping my sweaty hands on my pants. Whenever I reached for the door handle, I never made it all the way to it. As I tried to reach for the handle again, the door swung open.

"Matt," Summer gasped. She looked over her shoulder before quickly closing the door. "I don't think you should be here."

"Summer, please," I stuttered. "I just want to. . ."

"You've done enough."

* * * * *

After Summer stopped me from going into Y/N's room, I was even more determined to talk to her. I waited for Summer to leave before sneaking back down the hallway. I ducked into Y/N's room, my breath getting caught in my throat when I turned and saw Y/N asleep in the hospital bed.

I felt numb as I walked over and sat next to her. I hesitated to grab her hand because I didn't want to wake her up. Instead, I sat back in the uncomfortable chair and thought about the last conversation Y/N and I had.

~•~

"Your sister is looking for you," I said. I got concerned when I noticed her still facing away from me. I slowly walked over and grabbed the gauze that was frozen in her hand.

"You okay?"

"I'm fine," she said, not at all convincingly.

"Y/N," I elongated. "You sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine," she said again, sounding less convincing than before.

"I'm in love with you."

I heard her suck in a breath the same time I sucked in one of my own. My mind instantly started going 100 miles an hour.

She was in love with me? Since when? Does everyone know? How could I not know?

"What?" I asked under my breath for clarity. I wanted, no needed to make sure I heard her right.

"Never mind," she stuttered. My heart sank when she started to leave the shack.

"Y/N," I said, trying to get her to look at me. My shoulders slightly sank when she remained facing the door. "What did you say?"

"Just forget it," she said quickly.

Right as she was about to leave, I quickly grabbed her hand and slowly turned her towards me. I tried to get her to look up at me but she kept her stare to the ground.

"Y/N?" I whispered. "Did you mean it? Are you really. . ."

"Yes," she forced out. When she finally looked up at me, her eyes sank. My heart clenched when I saw her struggling to hold back embarrassed tears.

"Y/N," I stuttered, "I'm not. . . It's not that . . . I'm sorry."

She roughly pulled her hand out of mine and cleared her throat like she was trying to get rid of a lump.

"Okay," she whispered.

"Y/N," I sighed.

"It's fine," she said before I could get a chance to explain what was going through my head. It wasn't that I didn't have feelings for her. The truth was, I wasn't sure how I felt about Y/N Quinn.

"I should umm. . . You're taking over, right? You're on the next shift? Okay, I'm gonna go then. Bye, Matt."

"Y/N," I said, trying to get her to stay and hear me out. "Please let's. . ."

I physically jumped when the South Lifeguard tower door shut between us. I sat on one of the extra chairs, my mind not stopping. I ran my fingers through my hair as Y/N's defeated and embarrassed look on her face was stuck in my head.

"I don't know how I feel about you," I mumbled to myself. "But I know I don't want to lose you."

~•~

I've always felt this pull towards Y/N. I just thought it was friendship. That is until she told me how she felt for me. I looked over at her, the guilt suffocating me.

"You don't get it," I whispered, shaking my head and looking away from her. "You left before I could explain. I wasn't stuttering that I didn't have feelings for you. I was stuttering that I wasn't sure. I know that's not better but. . ."

"Matt?"

My head snapped up when I heard my name weakly said. I was met with Y/N's Y/E/C eyes. I smiled as I scooted closer to her.

"Hi," I whispered.

"What are you doing here?"

"I had to see you," I started to ramble. "Look, I know things have been weird between us and I hate it. I absolutely hate this tension between us, Y/N. When you were gone, those were the worst two weeks of my life. I was miserable. I wanted to call you but Summer kept telling me to leave you alone."

"She what?" She asked softly but I kept talking.

"And then when you came back? I didn't know what to do or say. Whatever I rehearsed, didn't seem good enough. Then the boat fire. . . You were underwater for four and a half minutes. Mitch gave you CPR for the whole five-minute boat ride back to shore. The EMTs took over for three minutes before they hooked you up to the defibrillator. One minute and forty-two seconds later, you flatlined. That was the longest minute and forty-two seconds of my life."

"Matt," she said weakly, trying to interrupt me again.

"When you told me how you felt," I continued, "I didn't respond but not because I didn't have a response for you. It was because I was evaluating."

"Evaluating," she repeated. "Matt, what does that mean? Evaluating what?"

"Us," I said before I could stop myself. "I mean evaluating who you are to me. We've been good friends since you started at Baywatch, but I've always thought our relationship was stronger than just a simple friendship. And it wasn't until you left those two weeks that I realized it was a lot deeper than a simple friendship."

"What are you trying to say?" She asked hesitantly.

"I'm saying I have feelings for you," I said quickly. I watched as her eyes widened. She was studying me hard, probably trying to decide if I was being honest with her.

To help reassure her, I continued. "Y/N, I'm not just saying I have feelings for you because I almost lost you. I'm saying it because I didn't realize how I felt for you. I had a general idea but I wasn't sure exactly. I know this doesn't make much sense, but it's the truth. I care about you, Y/N, a lot. I'm sorry it took almost losing you for me to wake up and realize that I've loved you all this time."

I held my breath, waiting for her reaction. When her eyes filled with tears, I couldn't tell if they were happy tears or angry tears. The silence ate away at me, almost as much as the guilt.

"Please say something," I whispered. My breath got caught in my throat when she slowly smiled.

"Come here," she whispered.

I scooted the chair closer to Y/N's bed and grabbed her hand. I leaned down and pressed my lips to hers. The second our lips touched, we instantly started moving them in sync.

Every feeling I've felt since her confession intensified as we finally kissed. It was like everything we've been holding back, burst. Without breaking the kiss, I stood up and carefully crawled onto her bed until I was hovering over her. The kiss got heated as Y/N reached up, grabbed my shirt, and pulled me closer to her.

She moaned when I used the hand that wasn't holding me up to gently rub her hip. I smirked against her lips as I slowly slid that hand up her body. She gasped, breaking the kiss when I found and squeezed her boob. That surprised gasp turned into a painful one.

"Shit," I gasped, moving my weight off of her. "I'm so sorry, Y/N. I should've. . . You've been shot and I. . . I'm sorry. For everything. I never should've. . ."

"Matt," she whispered, cutting me off as she reached up and gently cupped my cheek in her hand. "It's okay."

"No," I stuttered. "It's not okay, Y/N. None of it is. I want to make it up to you. I need to make it up to you."

"Then take me on a date," she said so simply.

"What?"

"Take me on a date," she repeated.

I smiled, feeling like a giddy idiot as I laid down next to her. I let out a satisfied sigh as she immediately cuddled into my chest.

"As soon as you get out of here," I whispered, "I'm taking you on that date."

[marvel-heaux]

Stay (part 1) - SamBucky - warnings: angst, hurt/comfort, blood, hand wavy biology for super soldiers, hospitals

-

It wasn’t -

It wasn’t supposed to be like this.

“God damn it, Buck,” Sam pants, voice breaking, pressing his hand hard against the gaping fucking hole in Bucky’s chest.

It was supposed to be a simple press conference. As simple as they get, at least, when you’re Captain America. He’s not even wearing the fucking suit, for God’s sake. It was just to announce some education initiative, he can’t even remember, and now Bucky’s blood is running hot through his fingers.

“I need a medic!” Sam shouts, the chaos around them nothing but background noise to him. All he can hear is the wet rattle of Bucky’s breathing. “Medic!”

Neither of them had expected trouble - no one had. Least of all one fringe zealot nut job who was convinced Bucky was still working for Hydra and slowly taking down America from the inside.

But one nut job and sawed off shotgun bursting through a crowd is all it takes. Even super soldier healing can’t compete with a close range shot to the chest.

“Sam,” Bucky pants, hand coming up to cover Sam’s on his chest. He’s losing too much blood, the shot too close range. “Sam, look at me. It’s okay.”

The words are barely audible, dark blood leaking from the corner of Bucky’s lips. He’s going pale.

“Shut up, man,” Sam shakes his head, because he can’t. He doesn’t know when tears started burning his eyes, or when his voice got so weak, but he can’t. He can’t entertain that thought, not with so much between them unexplored. Not with so many more nights watching the sun go down in Louisiana to be had. Not when the boys will ask what happened to Uncle Bucky. Not without the mornings and nights together Sam knows they were meant to have “You’ve been a pain in my ass for this long and you’re giving up now?”

Bucky smiles, and when he lifts his hand to Sam’s face it’s shaking.

“You make me so proud,” he says, the words as broken as his breathing. Sam can tell it’s taking everything he has just to speak.

“C’mon, Buck, save it for when we’ve got you stable, alright -”

The medics are rushing over now, Sam can see them pushing through the chaos towards them.

Bucky shakes his head, lungs rattling wetly. His eyes are closing, the blood slowing beneath Sam’s palm.“If I was ever going to get old and grey, I’d want it to be with you.”

Sam makes a broken noise, barely registering the medics swarming them now.

“Then stay, Bucky, c’mon -” he pleads, feeling strong hands pull him away to make room for the medics. “Stay -”

It’s all a blur after that, Sam’s ears ringing as he sees the medics rush Bucky’s limp form into an ambulance. He tries to follow, but his knees go weak.

“- am! Sam, look at me, hey -”

It’s Torres, wide brown eyes worried as he grabs Sam’s face.

“Are you hurt?” He asks, gently tapping his cheek to get his attention.

“No,” Sam rasps. “Bucky -”

“They’re taking him to the hospital, I’ll get you there,” Torres nods, hauling Sam up as best he can. “Come on, Cap.”

-

Sam has paced the length of the hospital hallway at least a hundred times.

The poor nurses have been nothing but patient with him, despite his constant asking for updates.

Mr. Barnes is in surgery, they say. That’s all we know right now.

He talks to Sarah, reassuring her that he’s okay and hiding next to a vending machine when she asks him if he’s okay and he can’t keep it together anymore.

“There’s so much I haven’t said,” he whispers, hand over his eyes as tears roll hot down his cheeks. “Sarah, there’s so much I haven’t said to him.”

Sarah makes a soft noise. “I know, Sam. I know.”

She doesn’t tell him it’s going to be okay, because they both know she can’t promise that. But she listens, and she tells him to call her the moment he hears anything.

Hours go by. Torres brings him coffee, squeezing his shoulder and updating him on the situation at the conference - the man is in custody. Sam wants him dead.

Eventually, Torres falls asleep next to Sam in the waiting room, having adamantly refused to leave. He’s a good kid, Sam thinks. He’d probably have torn his hair out without him here.

Around 3 in the morning, an exhausted looking doctor comes out.

“Mr. Wilson,” he says. “Please come with me.”

Sam is up like a shot, heart pounding as he follows the doctor down the hallway.

“Is he -” he starts, voice catching brokenly before he can finish the sentence.

“He’s alive,” the doctor says, giving Sam a tired smile. “He’s a fighter.”

Sam feels like he might fall down, the sheer relief nearly bringing him to his knees. The doctor steadies him gently, giving him a moment to catch himself before they continue walking.

“His healing factor made the surgery incredibly difficult,” the doctor starts to explain. “Once we gave him transfusions and stabilized the blood loss, his body started metabolizing any anaesthetic we gave him. We couldn’t keep him under long enough to get the shrapnel out without him coming to. Eventually -”

He sighs, looking truly exhausted. Haunted, even.

“Eventually we just had to do it and try to keep him as comfortable as possible. We couldn’t allow him to heal around the shrapnel.”

Sam feels sick, the thought of Bucky awake and in searing pain during surgery as the doctors tried to save his life making him want to throw up or cry.

“Jesus Christ,” he whispers, scrubbing a hand down his face.

They come to a stop on a quiet ward, the door in front of them closed and the blinds drawn.

“He’s stable now, and lucid,” the doctor says. He sighs. “He’s been refusing any more medication. But he’s going to be okay.”

“Thank you,” Sam shakes the doctor’s hand, trying to pour every ounce of gratitude he has into it. The doctor nods, clapping Sam on the shoulder before heading back down the hallway.

Sam let’s out a shaking breath before opening the door to the room. The lighting is soft and dim, the air cool. Bucky is -

Bucky is there, alive and whole, covered in blankets and IV lines. He’s pale and looks like shit, and Sam’s never seen anyone so beautiful in his entire fucking life.

“Took you long enough,” Bucky croaks, eyes barely open. “Had other people to visit?”

Sam can’t even bring himself to say anything, a wet laugh leaving his lips as he strides over to the bed. He sits carefully on the edge next to Bucky, hands hovering above his chest, his arms, his face. He doesn’t know where to start, what to touch, how to make sure this is real and Bucky is alive.

“Know I said I wanted you to talk less, but I didn’t mean it,” Bucky murmurs, grey blue eyes opening a bit more to look at Sam properly.

“You’re such an asshole,” Sam whispers, tears running into his smile. He runs his fingers gently through Bucky’s hair. “If you ever do that to me again, I’m going to kill you myself.”

Bucky smiles, carefully extricating his hand to grip Sam’s.

“Nah,” he murmurs, and it’s easy to see he’s exhausted, body worn out from healing. But he’s still smiling, eyes half lidded and looking up at Sam. “You love me.”

Sam huffs a laugh, shaking his head. He leans down and presses a soft kiss to Bucky’s forehead.

“God help me, I do,” he whispers, letting their foreheads rest together. “Now go to sleep. I’ll be here. Ain’t going nowhere.”

Bucky barely nods before he’s out, hand still in Sam’s and breathing steady.

Sam doesn’t move, just watches the steady rise and fall of Bucky’s chest. The sun eventually begins to rise, and Sam has never felt so damn lucky.

[echo-hiraeth]

Chapter 2: Survivor’s Guilt

Part of the “Illicit Limerence” series.

Pairing: Javier Peña x F!Reader

Summary: Javier is confronted with the stakes of losing an important coworker and friend as the reader gets injured during a chase. But grief and hospitals aren’t really his scene. The reader finds out the extent of her injuries and condition, leaving her shocked to the core.

Warnings: swearing, violence, mentions of injury, angst and some fluff

Masterlist

Previous chapter

Next chapter

DEA agents were hurt and killed almost daily, that was just the way things were with the cartel. Pablo didn’t care about who they were or what their legacy was, married or not, children or not, to Escobar they were just the enemy’s pawns. Javier Peña was well-aware of this and therefore rarely turned his head when another death within the office was called. He didn’t do funerals, he did women and drinking instead. In a time of war there was no time for grieving, he believed it to be a weakness of the flesh much worse than indulging in the warmth of a prostitute or colleague every now and then. This had become a routine for him and while it ate away at his conscience he never once considered giving up his bachelor-lifestyle. Never until today.

The narco screamed as Javier tackled him to the asphalt, brutally bending his arms behind his back, slapping the cuffs around his wrists. He opened his mouth to yell something out to Carillo when he heard the echo of two gunshots, followed by a cry. As his ears registered the pitch and tone, he made it out to be you. His head shot up immediately, already in desperate search of the source of your whereabouts.

Carillo took the detained from his clammy hands, leaving Javier to find you. Everything went quiet and all he could hear in that moment of utter panic was his obscene breathing and rapid heartbeat. When he rounded the corner, seeing Steve’s back turned to him, a pool of broken glass and legs he could only assume were yours he felt his heart drop. Murphy was frantically babbling into his radio as Javier stepped closer, the blood on the floor sickening.

He stood still next to Steve, watching the way your relaxed body laid in his arms, unmoving. “Is she-“

“No”, Steve replied quickly, beckoning for Javier to take his spot. “Stay with her, I’m getting the med kit from the car.”

He hesitantly sat down on his knees, the glass scraping against the fabric of his jeans as he gently pulled you onto his upper thighs. He spotted the burnt fabric on your vest and thanked his stupid teasing for having secured it earlier. It was as if you were just asleep, eyes closed, a peaceful look settling on your features. That’s what he told himself, she’s just resting, it’s been a long day, she’s fine, just tired.

Usually when you were sprawled out in his arms it was after another heated round of mind-numbing sex, naked and glistening with sweat. He thought of the way you looked then, skin glowing with pleasure, lips curled up in the most mesmerizing smile, eyelids fluttering closed as he trailed his long fingers over your chest. Rather than being covered in each other’s sweat, he found his hands stained with your vibrant-red blood and rather than trailing his fingertips across the curve of your breasts his left hand rested on the back of your head, hair sticking to itself from the mixture of sweat and blood.

It was a horror, the otherwise so lively and feisty woman appearing dead. The more he thought of it, the more he started shaking, panicking, checking for a heartbeat despite hearing your soft breaths. He couldn’t stand the idea of never getting to apologize to you, never having you curled up against his chest again, laughing about something stupid. The mere possibility of never seeing you at that desk again, stuffing your mouth with whatever the kitchen had to offer, completely dropping the “ladylike” act in front of your two partners, it tugged right at his heartstrings.

When Steve returned, putting some balled up spare clothes underneath you to keep them from cutting you up even more, Javier was dead silent and pale with terror. He gave his fellow agent a death glare when he gently shifted her body back to the floor, his arms tightening around you. “We need to get her vest off and check her chest”, Steve commanded, Javier finally loosening his grip, allowing you to lay on the makeshift “bed”.

“Ambulance?”, he breathed.

“Still on the way”, Steve huffed as he carefully undid the several buckles and straps on your vest.

As the two frantic men were bickering back and forth accusing the other one of not being careful enough or being a blatant idiot you slowly came to. A soft whine left your lips as you blinked a couple of times, the bright daylight inducing the absolute worst headache you ever felt. Soon the two of them were hovering over you, asking a myriad of questions while you were just trying to put two and two together. You couldn’t even bring yourself to move an inch, your entire body just aching and seemingly on fire. As you registered the severity of your fall, your breathing started to speed up, the two fussing men not helping you with your oncoming panic attack. Javier rested a bloodied hand on your cheek in an attempt to calm you down, he was whispering something to you, in Spanish, fingers stroking back and forth in a gentle motion. You tried to speak but found yourself unable to, a tear of frustration falling out of the corner of your eye.

“Cariño, quédate conmigo, por favor”, he muttered, “Está bien, la ambulancia llegará pronto.” (Stay with me, it’s okay, the ambulance will be here soon).

He hadn’t been this soft with you in weeks and the longer you stared up at him through your heavy eyes, the guiltier he felt about it. With every blink your eyes struggled more and more to open again, your body urging, begging you to just rest. You were defenceless against yourself, the sustained injuries asking just too much of you, and soon you were out again, breathing steadying once again. Javier bit his tongue trying to ground himself and keep calm as he heard the wailing sirens in the distance. Steve had been taken your vest of by now, lifting your shirt to reveal nasty bruises on your chest, the vest had saved your life. Javier said a prayer right there and then, thanking whatever entity up above responsible for saving you, for letting you stay with him.

When the paramedics took over and removed the two of them from the scene they were in a trance-like state. Steve had been through this before, back in the states he’d lost his partner, which had proven to him just how powerful drugs were. Death was just a part of the job, but losing a partner, that shit was personal.

 How they managed to get to the hospital unscathed was beyond anyone’s understanding, but as Steve sat in the waiting room with sweet Connie holding his hand, Javier was angry. It should’ve been him, he had told you not to go, but you just wouldn’t fucking listen. They didn’t even catch the guy, which maybe wasn’t the worst outcome, seeing how Javier would have absolutely murdered him with his bare hands.

“Javier just sit down, this isn’t helping anyone”, Connie spoke up, clearly having had enough of the man’s continuous pacing. “Why don’t you get yourself a coffee or something, you could be here another couple hours.”

She did have a point, you’d been in surgery for little over an hour and with every passing minute his need to just run off was getting more and more prominent. But he knew that the doctor could walk through those doors any minute as well, so he wanted to stay put, for you.

Upon seeing his partner’s lack of movement, Steve stood up. “How about I go get us those coffees then”, he offered.

Being alone with just Connie, a close friend of yours, made him feel even more nervous. Luckily for him the doors swung open before any kind of conversation could be started. Revealing the doctor that had rushed you away earlier. Your two friends went to stand, politely nodding at the doctor.

“The patient is stable, she suffered a broken collarbone which we managed to fix into place during surgery. She also sustained a concussion and a laceration to the back of the head which has been closed up. And uh she has some contusions among minor cuts over the body, nothing to be too worried about.” Javier and Connie sighed in relief. “But I need to speak to Steve Murphy, he was listed as Miss y/l/n’s emergency contact.”

“That’s my husband, he’s gone to get some coffee, should be back any second”, Connie replied, fidgeting with the hem of her shirt. “Can we go see her?”

“The patient’s waking up just now, so she’ll be out of it for a little bit.” With that he led them to your room, carefully opening the dim room, quickly adding that it had to do with the smack to the head you’d suffered.

Javier and Connie sat on either side of the bed, the doctor quickly leaving the room almost bumping into Steve on the way out. When he introduced himself the doctor whisked him away, presumably to have that confidential chat.

A quiet sob drew Javier’s attention back to the scene in front of him, nothing that Connie had started to cry, carefully holding your hand in hers. “Careful with that, we still need that back at the office, evidence”, he joked, eliciting a sad smile from his friend.

“Just look at her Javi, she must’ve been so scared.”

He looked at the IV’s in your left hand and the several bandages covering your body. “She’ll be alright Con, I promise.”

Steve re-entered the room with heavy steps, head hanging low and he looked at his wife. “Connie, a word, out in the hall”, he sighed.

She quickly wiped at her eyes and left the room, following her husband outside. He was alone with you now and felt incredibly out of place. You were the one to make situations less awkward and insufferable, you were the one to lighten the mood with some stupid joke or story about something back in the States. You, you, you – anything and everything was you, it was like his fucking world revolved around it- her. The poor man wasn’t able to deal with the near loss of you and his feelings, so he did what seemed best to him, pressing a quick kiss to your head and booking it, leaving you alone.

The simple touch had its desired effect, eyes fluttering open just as he walked over the threshold of your room, disappearing into the Columbian night. As you blinked a couple of times, vision somewhat blurry, all you could feel was pain, intense pain from your shoulder. Just as you tried to sit up a bit more the Murphys walked in, Connie quickly rushing over to your side and forcing you to lay back.

“Hey, y/n, hey, you’re in the hospital”, she explained slowly, gesturing at the several wires and monitors.

“Ja-Javier?”, you croaked out, throat completely dry and scratchy.

Steve poured you a glass of water while speaking: “He must’ve left. Listen, I know you’re probably exhausted and all but we need to have a chat.”

Nothing could have prepared you for the absolute bomb Steve was about to drop on you, those three little words changed everything. You – are – pregnant. Normally people would be nothing short of euphoric hearing such a confession, but to you – a woman with no partner and a job in one of the most dangerous places to be – it was a death penalty.

You had stayed in the hospital five more days, fellow agents coming to pay their respects, but you were just in a state of utter shock and frankly denial. You had argued with doctors and nurses, demanding they’d take your blood again and do it right. But no matter how much you protested and wanted it to not be true, you were in fact pregnant.

Five whole days of friends and colleagues supporting and loving you, even a call from your fucking parents at some point, but no Javier. Connie and Steve hadn’t pried for information, prioritizing your recovery for now, but you knew fully well your old friend had his suspicions. They hadn’t told anyone else, and as of yet it was just you, them two and the medical staff that was aware, already way too many people for your liking.

On the fifth day nobody visited, as per your request, you’d be moving in with Connie and Steve for the next couple of weeks, your concussion-induced vertigo and left arm requiring almost constant assistance, or as you saw it: babysitting. So, you’d told everyone to fuck off until it was time to go to hopefully get some time to yourself, time that you could spend in your own head. As you sat up on the hospital bed, half dressed, incapable of putting a shirt over your head, you broke down. It wasn’t necessarily the shirt that made you this upset it was just everything; the accident, the fact that you were pregnant and most of all him. He hadn’t even made an effort to visit you, to check up on you.

Or so you thought. You see, while you were out in that bed, life at the office just continued where it left off, Peña and Murphy still sitting at their desks and going out in the field. Only now they only ever talked about three things; new leads, that new bar downtown and you. Well to be completely honest, Steve didn’t really ever mention you but Javi.. he couldn’t shut up about you, bugging his poor co-worker on the daily, trying to get at least some information out of him. Steve had gotten so fed up one late night that he’d tossed the case files at the other man’s head, telling him to go to that damned hospital instead. After that he stopped asking and was left to brood and mull in his bed, kitchen, shower, basically anytime he was alone. Surely you wouldn’t want him there, considering what terms you were on, but would it be so bad for him to just swing by, talk to you for half an hour or so, see how you were doing with his own eyes? He deemed it best to leave you alone and not give you more of a headache. But by Saturday afternoon, the day you were supposed to be emitted, he couldn’t help himself. He got in his car and just drove there, hastily parking his car as he ran up to your room, stopping at the door as he heard your muffled weeping.

The soft knock interrupted your heartfelt moment, you saw his reflection in the windows, unable to turn your head around. “Can I come in?”, he asked with a small voice.

“Y-yeah”, you answered, trying to cover yourself with your good arm.

He wordlessly walked over to you, quickly gathering the shirt from the floor and stepping closer. “Guide me.” Javier tenderly helped you into your shirt, following your every instruction and checking if he was doing okay every time you winced. When you were dressed he sat next to you on the bed, holding the hairbrush you’d handed him just seconds before. “I-I’ve never done someone else’s hair, are you sure you want to look even more of a mess?”, he joked.

You quietly chuckled, fidgeting with the hair tie in your hand. “Can’t get much worse anyways, just be careful with the ends.”

The two of you sat in comfortable silence as he brushed through your untamed hair, profusely apologizing every time the brush would get tangled, making the both of you laugh a little. It was a small win, just a sweet and innocent moment with the most dangerous man around, at least to you. He struggled to comb it all back, clearly not used to performing even the easiest of hairstyles. Eventually your hair did end up in something akin to a ponytail, at least he tried. After he zipped up your bag for you and checked the room for anything left behind you tried to slip on your shoes, a pair of tennis shoes to be exact, ones you frequented due to the nature of your job. Chasing narco-men wasn’t exactly ideal when wearing heels, so yes, you lived in flats. He soon got on his knees in front of you, helping you in your shoes and tying the laces for you, not able to watch you struggle any longer. The two of you didn’t talk other than the occasional “does this hurt” and “what now”. He offered to drive you home, but you explained Steve would be picking you up in a bit, informing him that you’d be staying over at their place, but a floor away from his own door.

“I should probably go then – unless you need anything else”, he said, hands in his pockets.

You went to stand, losing your balance a bit and steadying yourself by holding on to the frame of your bed. “Actually, if you don’t mind, can you help me to the entrance, I’d rather wait there.”

With his arm wrapped around your waist, by means of support, totally nothing else, he helped you get downstairs, to the entrance. He’d insisted you stayed inside, telling you about the dangers of being alone. You’d rolled your eyes, reminding him you had worked here just as long as he had, making him jut his hip. It’s then that Steve pulled up out front, quickly walking over to the two of you.

“What the hell is he doing here?”, Steve asked you, eyeing his partner up and down.

“He was just visiting and now he is leaving, see you Monday, Murphy”, Javier scoffed as he patter the man on the back, walking off without another word.

As Murphy helped you in his car he quirked an eyebrow at your messy hair; “Peña do that to you?” You nodded. “What’s that all about?”

“Survivor’s guilt”, you chuckled.

Taglist: @peterhollandkait @pedritomando​ 

[ben-c-group-therapy]

Benedict Cumberbatch Fluff

You’ll find all of my Ben C Fluff here

“Lost In A Daydream” Benedict finds out you (his assistant) writes about him and your secret feelings. Figuring there is no chance he’d ever have feelings for you, you opted to stay quiet. Will he figure it out?

“Some Guidance” Benedict knows what's best for you while you are stressing over exams. “A Dance” Benedict is in a cheerful mood tonight after work that he decides to have a dance. “The Straw That Broke The Camel’s Back” After a crappy week, this day is the last straw…thank god for Benedict. “Happy Birthday Ocean" A wonderful Birthday from Benedict. “The Cramps” Ben is a lot better at taking care of you than Sherlock is. “Mum, Dad, Meet My Fiancée” Ben gets the chance to introduce you to his parents for the first time. “It’s Okay to Cry" After the lost of your mother Ben tries to comfort you. “A Magical Day with Benedict" Being the wife a celebrity isn’t that bad, especially when you can have a private tour of Disneyland! “The Camping Trip" After a few scary stories around the campfire you have a hard time getting to sleep. “Who Are You?“ A journey from not remembering anything to finally remembering enough. “An Emergency” You are very scared when you are hit with a massive pain. Ben reassures you that you will be okay and he will be right with you. “The News" Some bad news at the doctor has you very upset, Ben comforts you the best way he knows how. "I’m Just Trying to Protect You” Ben is being very protective of you and it gets a bit old. “Maybe…Perhaps…” Ben has a hard time confessing his feelings for a coworker. “Dinner?” A AU Ben fic where he asks his coworker Lucy Lui out on a date. “The Workout” Upset with your weight you start training a bit to much and end up in trouble. “Maybe I Need Help” A follow-up to “The Workout”  You’re struggling with your self image and Ben finds out about your dangerous ways to lose weight. “My Story” After heart surgery your are insecure of your scar and Ben comforts you. “My Love, My Heart” After surgery Benedict remains at your bedside until you wake up. “A Lesson in French" Juliette speaks with a heavy French accent, she doesn’t like it but Benedict loves it. "Sometimes, All You Need Is A Hug" After a stressful few days of work and caring for the family things come to a crashing halt and Benedict is left to pick up the pieces. "Homesick” After moving to London on a whim several months ago you start to become homesick so your wonderful boyfriend Ben arranges a surprise for you. “Lonely Nights" After a romantic weekend in Paris Ben returns home but has to leave again for work. Lonely Nights part 2”A follow-up to Lonely Nights. "The Heavens Opened” This fic adds some back story to a fic Cumberbanon wrote for me. You are caught up in a rain storm without an umbrella, thankfully Benedict is walking your way and notices and offers to share his umbrella and takes you back to his flat for some tea. “Ben! I’m Pregnant!" A journey from conception to birth. "I’m Not Jealous” Ben has work to do at home but instead he attends your office party with you, when you run into an old co-worker Ben gets a little jealous “Every Day, Every Hour…” It is date night again for you and Benedict, he proclaims his love for you over a romantic dinner. “Poor Benedict” Ben is really sick and stuck in bed, it is up to you to make him feel better. “The Sultry Villain” You land a guest star spot on Sherlock along side your boyfriend Benedict. “Is This The End?” Facing a difficult breakup you and Ben get into a heated argument. (this one has a happy ending) “The Surprise” Ben has been away for five weeks now, four weeks to long for you. “A Spring Day” Ben has a surprise for you on this beautiful spring day in London “The Morning After” A fluffy follow-up to the smutty “Lesson Learned?” “The Café in Copenhagen” Ben meets and falls in love with a Danish Girl. A fluff for benedictcumberbatchsdanishwife “The Motorbike” You hate when Benedict rides his motorbike around the busy streets of London. “Does He Remember Me?” Ben falls for one of his Australian fans “A Misunderstanding” Ben is interested in you and you are him but thanks to miss messages things turn sour but all ends well.(smutish…no actual act) “Awkward Fangirl at Oz Comic Con” A revamp of “Does He Remember Me?” “The Starry Night” A little surprise for Ben on your anniversary. “The Quiz Night” After a chat with another man at the bar during a quiz night Ben becomes very jealous. “My New London Life” You enlist your old friend Benedict’s help in finding a flat in London. “The Cabin” A strong snowstorm catches a hiker off guard, lucky for them you’re spending a few weeks in a small remote cabin in the mountains. “You Are the Worst Patient!” A fluffy about you taking care of Benedict as his friend, nothing more. Yet. “The Restless Night” You have a hard time getting to sleep, thankfully Ben can help with that. “Old Flames” Running into Ben at a party lights old flames inside of you. “The Nurse and Her Patient” Ben’s in the hospital and under your care as his nurse. Who know what will happen. “A Magical London Day” Ben leads you around London on a scavenger hunt with a little help from his family and friends. “The Audition” You are a great actor, but when you come face to face with Benedict at an audition you flub up! “You Make Me Feel Safe” Just some awesome fluffy Benedict that holds you and makes you feel happy after a long day. “Ben, the Worry Wart” You’ve gotten one of the lead rolls in an upcoming movie with Benedict, while you are off for a month you head back to New York to continue your studies but Ben is persistent on keeping fans from bothering you. “Secret Places” You’ve started a flame between you and Ben on a recent trip to London, now that you’re home a flirty text-a-thon ensues. “Benedict The Hulk” Ben had a rough day and when he gets home an argument gets a little heated. “Ladies?” You and Ben’s ex have a run in at a celebrity event. “The Farmers Market” Your niece gets lost at the farmers market, thankfully a nice British gentleman finds her and reunites you both. “Mummy Doesn’t Always Know Best” Ben’s mother isn’t so keen on you at first, how will things turn out. “Get Motivated” You are having a particular rough day, Ben helps motivate you to accomplish your goals. “Let it Be” A cute fluff about Ben asking your parents for your hand in marriage “I Promise” You wake up in a hospital bed with Benedict Cumberbatch sitting beside you and holding your hand, but why?!? “Fight or Flee” You and Ben have been great friends but what has he been hiding and how will it come out? “Stop Ignoring Me” Working very hard on the set of Sherlock keeps you busy and unable to chat with Ben, he keeps after you but you keep working. Turns into a little game of hard to get. “The Surry Farm” A farm out in Surry shared with Ben. “Sorry That Was Corny” A handsome man approaches you at a local pub and begins to flirt “A Needed Break” Ben has be really working hard lately so while in NY you treat him to a nice getaway. “Dopy Benedict” Ben goes under the knife and the medicines make him a little goofy when he wakes up. “The Competition” Two hot actors vying for your attention? Sounds perfect! “The Wedding Song” While celebrating Benedict’s parents anniversary Ben takes you for a spin to his parents wedding song. “The Tree” Ben is leaving for a very long time. “Grocery Shopping” A sweet little fic. Ben and you go food shopping together and fun ensues “Breakdown” A really stressful week leads to a huge meltdown in front of Benedict “Time For A Baby?” As you babysit your nieces you and Ben have such a wonderful time that you two begin to think it may be time for your own child. “It’s All Very Funny” You are cooking dinner for Ben’s parents as they are coming over to meet you for the first time. You head upstairs to take a shower while Ben waits for them…embarrassing moments ensue. “They Aren’t True Fans” After coming out publicly  as a couple, you get egged on your way home from work. “The Misquote” Ben slips some things during an interview that could lead the public to believe your marriage is on the rocks. “The Puppy” After rescuing a box of two puppies you try to help them and then convince Ben to keep them. “To Church” Ben and you head off to church. “The Return of Napkinbatch” Ben loves making you laugh. “The Press” Ben does a little press conference about Hamlet but somehow it gets turned into a meeting about your relationship together. “The Letter” You come across a letter from Ben to his pen pal Greg and you try to sneak a peek. “Parent Teacher Meets” Its the night of the first parent teacher meets and one of your students has a very special guest along. “The Undercover Star” Benedict is on a hidden camera reality show and you happen to be his target. “The Lights Went Out.” You’re afraid of storms and to make matters worse when a particularly strong one comes up and knocks the power out, you’re also afraid of the dark. “Love Knows No Age” Age is not a matter for two people truly in love. “Benedict and the Stars” Ben is a romantic, with you having a PhD in Astronomy Ben has the stars to woo you. “A Babybatch in the Oven” It’s time to share the big news with Ben’s parents! “The First Kiss” Wonderful evening leads to a wonderful goodbye. “We’re Going to be Alright” Going through some difficult depression episodes I was sent this prompt and I decided to use it as a therapy for myself. “The Unexpected Miracle” You and Ben learn that due to some health problems you aren’t able to conceive. “My Heart Is On Fire For You” Ben finds a sweet way to propose to you. “Face to Face” This is for my dear friend “Sister” Emily. Ben sets up a meeting for her and I to finally meet in person! “We Miss You” Ben is stuck in L.A. filming for months, he misses you and your little girl so much and you miss him also so in a last minute decision you take Jenna and pack up to head for L.A. for a impromptu visit. “Benedict’s Bad Day” Ben has a rough day at work, it’s up to you to make him feel better. “The Corinthia Ball” A charity ball is occurring at the Corinthia Hotel in the heart of London tonight and Ben has something special planned for later. “The Nomination” - A little way to celebrate Benedict’s and the Sherlock team’s Emmy nominations. “Benedict Cumberbatch in ‘The Emmy Winner’” Ben and you watch the Emmy’s from home and celebrate when he’s announced the winner. “The Gala and Napkinbatch” You and Ben have fun in New York “Missing You” Ben is finally arriving home after a trip to Toronto. “Sunday Mornings" No one likes to wake up on a Sunday morning but this one isn’t so bad for Ben and you. "Always Beautiful to Me” Having a fat day, Ben cheers you up. “A Fire Inside” Letting off a little steam in a bar you meet a dashing man. “Hands” “Shh Sleep” “Celebrate Tonight” “The Return of Napkinbatch” “I Have To Tell You Something” “Sunday Mornings” “Something Better” After hearing your celebrity crush (Chris Evans) had been spotted with a girl in L.A. you had an unexpected meeting Ben for the first time.

Fluff/Smut

“One More Chance" Makeup sex is the best… "Ben! I’m Pregnant!" A journey from conception to birth. "My Plans” Celebrating a wonderful anniversary with Benedict over dinner but dinner isn’t the only plans he has for you. “The Interview” Ben says some really lovely things at an interview and when he gets home and you ask him about it, a simple kiss gets heated. “The Rose” You attend the Hay Festival with Benedict and try to wake him up after a very tiring day. 

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

Strangers (Part 2)

Summary: A month after meeting Dr. Winchester, the reader finds herself back in the hospital and her new boyfriend is not happy to see her there...

Masterlist

Pairing: Doctor!Dean x patient!reader

Word Count: 2,100ish

Warnings: language, crazy-ex boyfriend, mention of surgery/injury

A/N: I hope you enjoy!

_____

One Month Later

“Hello,” said a familiar voice as they walked around the curtain with a chart. “I’m Dr...sweetheart?”

“Dr. Sweetheart, huh?” you giggled, wincing a bit. Dean immediately looked down at your chart and was frowning. “What are you doing down in the ER?”

“Slow day upstairs which I always consider a good thing. Helping out,” he said.

“Hello, Dean,” said your mom, getting up and giving him a hug. 

“Hi Alice,” said Dean as he returned it, pouting at you. “You’re experiencing stomach pains?”

“Yeah. My parents freaked out cause you know, still a new digestive system,” you said, closing your eyes. “Living with your parents as an adult is just awesome.”

“Why didn’t you call me?” he asked, lifting up your shirt and pressing his hand around.

“Cause you’d worry. You’re a worrier boyfriend, Dean,” you said. 

“Alice, could you go over to the main station and tell them Dr. Winchester would like to see Dr. Mace for an emergency consult on Y/N? He’ll remember her,” said Dean.

“Of course,” she said, up and out of her chair like that. Dean pressed down gently over the scar on your stomach and glanced at you.

“Boyfriend huh. I haven’t heard that yet,” he said.

“It’s been a month and the fact that you have been totally cool with having dates at my parents house with me tells me it’ll be very difficult to get rid of you,” you said. “Not that I’m complaining.”

“I don’t mind at all. You had a major surgery. You need to rest and have someone take care of you, sassy,” he said, pressing down on your right side. Your hand caught his wrist and glared at him. He pressed down more gently and you hissed. “Alright. Good news or bad news.”

“Bad news.”

“Good news is your transplant is fine,” he said.

“I said bad news first.”

“I know,” he smirked. “Bad news, your appendix is taking it’s swan song. They probably should have taken it during your first surgery but it wasn’t bothering anything then so they saw no need. I’m gonna have Dr. Mace look you over while I get you booked in the OR. My buddy Donna is on general surgeries today. She’s great. You’ll love her.”

“We gotta find a better way of me meeting your friends than surgery. Maybe like a party,” you laughed. He took a seat on the edge of the bed and smiled. “How much is this gonna set me back?”

“About a week, a little less. I know you’re tired of getting carved up like a turkey.”

“It’s cool. I’d rather have it out if it’s not working anymore,” you said. “I was supposed to start looking at new apartments with my mom this afternoon.”

“Where were you looking?” he asked.

“East Manor.”

“I’m in there, one of the townhouses. It’s a really good place,” he said. “I’ve never had any problems.”

“Oh, that’s nice to hear. I loved my old place but I can’t stay there. It’s too, you know...”

“I understand,” he said, a doctor coming over and grabbing his shoulder.

“I have a torso impalement on a ten year old. I need you in ER 2 now,” said the other guy.

“Shit,” said Dean. “I gotta go sweetheart. You’re gonna be just fine. I might have to miss our date tonight.”

“S’good. Go to work, babe,” you said. He gave you a kiss on the cheek and ran off with the other doctor just as your mom came back over. She smirked as she sat back in her chair. “What?”

“You know the whole bleach thing might be a blessing in disguise,” she said.

“Ma. I almost died.”

“I know but you didn’t,” she said. “Plus he’s a doctor. Even dad likes him and he was ready to have you never date again.”

“Mom. I’m an adult,” you said. “One crazy ex doesn’t mean all guys are like that.”

“Where’d he run off to anyways?” she asked.

“Gonna go try and save a kid,” you said. “Fingers crossed. I’m fine, bad appendix is all.”

“Well fingers crossed for you too. We could do with some good luck around here.”

One Week Later

“Hey,” you said, an exhausted looking Dean answering his front door. 

“Hey,” he said, rubbing his face off. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. I wanted to go out for a drive and I know you’ve been working like crazy on all the surgeries for that kid. I wanted to stop by and see if you needed anything,” you said. 

“Y/N, come on, you’re still recovering. You ought to be at home in bed,” he said.

“I’m perfectly fine to drive. Let me make you some dinner quick before you crash for bed yourself,” you said. 

“I’m only saying yes because the thought of making something to eat makes me want to cry right now,” he said. “I’m so fucking tired.”

“Then let me in and I will take care of you for a change, boyfriend,” you said. He moved aside and he showed you past the living area to the kitchen. 

“That’s the pantry,” he said, pointing at a cupboard.

“Alright. I will find you something really yummy to make and in the meantime, go shower and sleep. I’ll wake you up when it’s done.”

“You’re a lifesaver,” he said.

“That’s more your department than mine,” you said. “Go on, I got this.”

You let him nap for an hour, Dean tired but better looking when he wandered out of his room into the kitchen in a pair of sweats and a henley.

“I ever mention how perfect you are?” he asked as he sat down in front of a giant plate of food.

“No but it’s appreciated,” you said. “I haven’t cooked in forever.”

“It smells great,” he said, rubbing his eye. “I don’t know if this kid is gonna make it or not. So much was damaged or destroyed.”

“What number surgery will tomorrow be?” you asked.

“Seven,” he said, starting to eat. You didn’t ask anymore questions and let him eat quietly, eventually Dean pushing the empty plate away. “I’m stuffed.”

“Now back to bed with you,” you said, helping him to his feet.

“I could get used to this being bossed around by you thing,” he smirked.

“In your dreams, Winchester. I’ll lock up after myself,” you said.

“Y/N,” he said as you started to leave. You turned around and he had this gentle look on his face. “Thanks, for coming over tonight. My day wasn’t great. You always seem to make it better somehow.”

“As long as you try your best, that’s all you can ever do. Get some sleep, Dean.”

“You too, sweetheart.”

The Next Night

“Hi,” you said as Dean walked up the driveway at your parents house. You were sitting on the front porch in the big chair reading a book. He was in his scrubs and a hoodie, not saying a word until he sat beside you and rested his head on your shoulder. “Did you lose him?”

“Almost. His system was so wrecked it was killing him. We had to gut him. I just did my first pediatric liver and kidney transplant,” he said. “Mace assisted me. It’s gonna be rough but the kid’s gonna pull through.”

“That’s great,” you said, giving him a hug. He hummed and shut his eyes. “You happy?”

“Yeah. After the girl last month, I needed this,” he said.

“Well you don’t always have to save a life to have a good day,” you laughed. He snuggled into your side and your shirt rode up some, revealing part of your scar. “Dean. Back at the hospital when I asked about my scar...did you mean that?”

“This?” he asked, lightly grazing his finger over the pink skin. A shiver ran up your spine and he smiled. “I may be biased but to me, scars are pretty cool. It means you’re a survivor. What you went through...most people don’t walk away from that and even then, most don’t walk away happy. If I were you, I would be terrified of so much.”

“You save children’s lives. You work in fear every single day. I don’t think you’d have one problem in my shoes.”

“I was prepared for that though. I knew what I went to school for and what I was trained for, for years and years. You though...nothing prepares you for someone you trust to hurt you like that,” he said.

“I don’t want to live my life afraid I suppose,” you said. “I trust you. You make me feel safe. He was one bad person and he’s away forever in a mental ward. Plus I got you. Wasn’t all bad.”

“How are you so...half-glass full?” he asked, sitting up but sticking close to your side. “I want to be more like that.”

“I wasn’t always. When you flirt with death like I did, the fact part of me refused so adamantly to give up when it would have been the easy thing to do...it’s really hard not to think of that as the worst thing I’ve ever gone through because honestly, it is. It sucked. I remember the pain and all of it. But compared to that extreme, the rest of my life is amazing. My appendix went bad? So what. That was nothing compared to my surgery before. My badass pediatric surgeon boyfriend is having a bad day? I can cook him a home cooked meal, even if it made me a bit tired myself. He showed me kindness time and time again. He never once complained about how there’s been a certain lack of privacy or intimacy so far with us. He’s not complained about the time my new medication made me throw up the dinner he’d cook me. He sat with me while I was freaking out that I’d just torn open my stomach or something by doing that. He explains all the medical questions my parents have in an easy to understand way. Dean, talk to Mace. I was not a happy camper when I woke up with some other guy’s digestive system in me. Someone else dying is the only thing that kept me alive. That’s incredibly difficult to deal with. But if I got through that, I can get through most anything I think. Also you are very cute so that helps.”

“Thanks,” he laughed quietly. “You’ still different though. I’ve met a lot of inspiring people and kids and all that. You just...you’re different. You asked if I was okay. Strangers don’t do that really.”

“I don’t like when you’re not okay,” you said with a shrug.

“Do me a favor. Next time you’re at a hospital, it’s just cause you’re visiting me on my lunch?” he asked.

“I will do my very best,” you said. You kissed him and he returned it, his finger tracing over your scar lightly. “It doesn’t bother you?”

“Not one bit. Let’s try to not get any new ones for a while though?” he asked.

“I would be more than happy to,” you said. As you sat, a light rain began to come down and Dean tucked his feet up underneath himself. 

“You want to stay over my place tonight?” he asked. “I got the next few days off.”

“Yeah. I’d love to,” you said. “I uh, I’m not…” 

“I just want you to stay over is all. I can be a gentleman,” he chuckled.

“You don’t have to be a gentleman gentleman,” you laughed. “I’m not on anything at all right now though and I’d prefer to wait until I was. There’s plenty of other things though.”

“There are,” he said, a coy smirk crossing his lips briefly. “Tonight I want to have a quiet night with you if that’s alright.”

“More than,” you said. “Let me pack a bag. I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

“Sounds good to me, sweetheart.”

_________

A/N: Read Part 3 here!

[kyle-valenti]

burnout only feels like burning

2.7k / Summary: kyle valenti doesn't have the same quarantine as his friends; an exploration of kyle's trauma during covid as a doctor. (tw depression & other triggers you’d imagine with this subject)

read & comment/ ao3

A little like the virus itself, Kyle’s relationship with his mask begins with worry, annoyance, and then pain. He’s more than happy to have the proper N-95 mask as they begin to get their first case at Roswell General but then a couple more patients trickle in and within a few days his skin is irritated and itching. Maybe it’s the news, maybe it’s the texts from his friends that he’s increasingly missing, but when the Regiment starts spouting off about how COVID is a joke he thinks it might be affecting his nerves too. By week three his former red mark left by the mask has become a permanent feature to his face and by week five it’s not a mark but a bruise instead. Blisters and cracks in his skin litter his hands from over-washing. His feet become so overused the pads of his feet feel numb and bruised and he wears through an entire pair of shoes.

Positivity has fled from his life by week seven and now he’s inside of a survival mode he’s never experienced. He thought after last year he’d be used to anything the world (or universe, rather, given all these aliens) could throw at him. Now what feels foolish, he had believed that there was nothing that could be worse than the previous pain of losing a patient or finding out his father had experimented on people’s lives. 

When he’s out of ventilators and CPAP machines because Albuquerque needs them more and he has to choose whether or not to save the life of an eighty five year old or a thirty two year old he remembers from high school, he breaks.

 Guilt is one thing, grief is another, but the pure rage he feels knowing that Max Evans is out on the town patrolling as some fucking cop and not someone who could heal most of this hospital makes him want to commit actual murder. Maybe trading the blood of an alien on his hands would feel less heart-wrenching. But no. Max had brought back Rosa and had paid the price. Quelling his anger, he went back to work.

 He slept at the hospital most nights in the height of it. Sure the couch was rough, but it was better than the other on-call doctor beds down the hall. Three twelve hour ER shifts of a usual work week doubled to five days of thirteen hour shifts. Soon there’s a week where he pulls double shifts for an entire week when one of his nurses is urgently hospitalized herself. Hospital directors had left them with no PPE except contaminated masks to reuse. Maria, Isobel, and Rosa are in the forefront of a drive to make and donate masks to his hospital after some social media posts that he doesn’t even see until the cloth masks arrive and his medical assistants give him their handwritten note. It makes him smile, but smiling feels so foreign that he almost wants to break from that.

 Visitors are no longer allowed which means Kyle isn’t allowed to use his bedside manner to comfort the family of patients. He has to facetime mothers, spouses, and children and hold the phone over a patient who can’t breathe without machine assistance and pretend that everything is fine and that there’s still hope despite the hypoxia and lack of rising vitals. Ignore that if the patient goes into cardiac arrest more than once, the kindest thing to do given prognosis is to let the patient pass. Resuscitation and DNR (a patient’s begging request to not be resuscitated) becomes a word he uses in his daily work and not simply for intense surgeries.

 Exhaustion isn’t a deep enough adjective to describe the fugue state he goes into. File to file, room to room, ventilator to next… he isn’t surprised when his body starts to wear down. When he no longer feels hunger and instead feels all too hot and dizzy. Telling himself it’s just because of how much he’s exerting his body while covered in layers and layers of protective clothing doesn’t help the fact that he’s starting to have more trouble breathing as he walks the hallways at a fast pace. When he begins to cough, he does what he promised himself he wouldn’t do and drives out post-shift to the desert cabin of Max Evans.

 Part of him is too desperately tired to knock, but when he arrives on the property with the cop car idle and the house dark and at peace for the night, his fury greets him with the embrace of a long-lost friend. Knuckles pound at the wood and Max answers the door with surprise and a general look of defense, and Kyle tries not to immediately punch him in the face at the fact he looks like he had woken up from a comfortable sleep.

 “Heal me.” Kyle manages to spit out.

 “I—what’s wrong?”

 “Beginning stages of respiratory distress, fever, nausea—what do you fucking think?”

 “Kyle—,” Max starts to say, the hesitation deepening, and that does it.

 “No. I have not asked you for anything in all of this, Evans. Anything!” He shouts, voice hoarse. “Not when people got sick, not when they started dying, not even when we started having to let people die on purpose. And you know what? I wasn’t going to even come and ask you now, but I can’t get sick when I’m the one here fucking saving lives out of the two of us and you’re just cruising the streets handing out goddamn traffic tickets.”

 Max’s face isn’t stony like it usually is when Kyle’s yelling at him; this time it’s crushed and guilty but not nearly enough. “What kind of hours you work this week, Evans? A nice 8 to 4? Did you get facetime with Isobel or your mom, maybe binge through a few books and movies after you’re home? Did you sit down and eat a nice dinner and or go over to drink a few beers with Guerin since you can’t get sick? Even get a nice eight hours of sleep in your own bed in your nice quiet home?”

 No response.

 “I am not asking to sequence your DNA like Liz. All I am asking is for you to let me heal people since you don’t want to.”

 A night breeze is all that makes noise for a moment as Kyle catches his breath and glares at Max, who stands quietly but is staring down at his boots before he finally looks up and nods. Max steps forward then, and Kyle sees that his eyes are actually filled with tears. Temper deflating, but still not subsiding entirely, given that not much else is able to be done; Kyle lets Max place a hand on his shoulder and feels the extremely weird feeling spread throughout his body. Something more electric than anything else, which God knew made a lot more sense concerning his powers and how the body operated with electrical nerve impulses, but that is a train of thought better left for another day. He wants to just walk away, and he almost does, but he still mutters a “thank you” before he does so.

When his nurse dies a few days later and he watches as the staff double bag her body to take to the morgue, he escapes to his office and crashes on his couch with sobs. There’s no one here to support him. He can’t go to his mother’s home and collapse into one of her comforting embraces without risking infecting her. He can’t get wasted at the Wild Pony with Maria when it’s closed. He can’t visit Rosa or Arturo at the Crashdown. Keeping his friends and family safe meant keeping them away from him. Keeping them safe meant he needed to stop pushing his head into his hands to try and control the sound of his crying and get back to work at saving the lives around them.

He gets put on leave by the hospital administrator when he’s almost arrested for decking Wyatt Long in the hospital parking lot as the idiot stood outside with a sign rallying Regiment members to make sure the hospital was told it was killing people on purpose for the election. If Jenna hadn’t been the officer on duty he would have been cuffed and put on record, jeopardizing his license, but there was some self-preserving part of him that desperately wished for his practice to be over anyway. He’s not even sure how Jenna handles it, honestly, all he remembers is her dropping him off at his house from her patrol car like she had been nothing but an uber. No matter how angry and adamant he gets, his boss refuses to bend, saying it’s for his own good given the connections the Long’s have in the town and how Kyle has worked almost 74 of the past 76 days.

Alex is the first to visit him, unannounced. When the doorbell rings Kyle is mindlessly pretending to watch some tv show in his living room that’ll distract him from his consuming thoughts about patients, so he doesn’t get up to answer. He checks his silent phone to see if he was forewarned of a visitor but sees nothing. Unsure if it’s his boss or a patient’s family, he forces himself up onto his sore feet and opens the door after grabbing a regular mask off the coffee table. Black face mask on and standing further out from the door on the porch is Alex, the usual gruff hello turned into something soft. “Hey.”

Kyle heaves a sigh. He had wondered when the pity visits would begin. “Hey. You really shouldn’t be around me, you know.”

“I’m clearly a minimum of eight feet away in an open space while masked.” Alex smarts back. “Either way, I’m worried about you.”

Scoffing, he shakes his head. “Don’t fucking worry about me. Worry about getting sick, because if I have to see another person I care about die, I--,”

“Kyle.” the other says too kindly, the sort of pacifying voice Alex reserved for only the most dire situations. “I have no idea what you’re dealing with in specifics, but my experiences do overlap with yours in some places.”

“And?”

Maybe it came out a little too rude, because Alex raises a brow, but then sighs instead. “And I’m just checking in to make sure you know people care about you.”

“Thanks, Manes.” Kyle huffs in return, managing not to roll his eyes because focusing on being blunt and abrasive was so much easier.

“Just be careful.” Alex interjects before Kyle could close the door and turn back to his show. “Dealing with the trauma of what you’re dealing with gets dark very quickly.”

“Because I punched Wyatt Long?” he spits back sarcastically.

“No, because the suicide rates for healthcare professionals are drastically increasing along with the rates of PTSD diagnoses.” Alex says flatly, ever one to be unfazed by sarcasm. “And I’ve lost more active duty members to suicide than I have combat.”

Kyle pauses, caught. Maybe Alex had known he would be, because there isn’t some way he can give a smile and reassuring wave with him like he could his mother or Liz. While Kyle hadn’t actively thought of a plan, he couldn’t pretend he had noticed signs of depression the second he was alone in his house. 

“The quiet is the worst part, right?” Alex says, all but reading his mind. “Not always because of the flashbacks, although those are horrible, but because if things are quiet then--,”

“--people are dying.” Kyle finishes, his voice raspier by the end of the three words. “Yeah, well, mine still are.”

“They’re going to.” Is what felt like a cold response, but somehow gave Kyle the understanding he’s been craving. “They’re going to die and because of your profession you’re going to be able to save some of them. Which will make you think you’re responsible to save all of them and because you’re a good person you’re going to feel guilty in ways that no one will understand for being human and failing to.”

“Failing is all I do lately.” Kyle replies. “Usually the wins feel higher than the losses as a doctor, but with this-- and no one outside of it cares. They go outside and yell about how this is about a fucking election and when it’s not the patients, it’s the hospital pretending they don’t have enough money to buy us proper protection. Or the government saying this will all go away and that it’s just a light cold.”

Alex gives a small nod. “I know. I also know telling you the same advice that you’d give another doctor of trying not to burn out and instead taking a small rest is useless. So I’m just going to drop off these dvd’s and make you report back to me the difference when you’re done.”

Star Trek and Star Wars. Kyle finds a smile tug on his lips. Alex leaves with one on his as well.

When he gives a response to Alex a few days later on how Star Wars is better not more than a few minutes later Deluca is texting him with recommendations on joining her Buffy the Vampire Slayer rewatch. There’s something sweet about the fact that people have been clearly talking about him, even if definitely borderline creepy with how nosy his circle of friends can be, but he sighs and lets Maria add him to the group chat she has with Rosa and Liz where they review each episode after the fact and even chimes in every now and then. Isobel gets added not long after due to an Instagram story Maria shares and then the group has moved onto Friends after everyone shoots down Liz for suggesting Grey’s Anatomy on behalf of Kyle. Alex is also in there, even if it’s rare he chimes in with an opinion, but once they start Friends his commentary about how much he hates Ross that gets the entire group riled up does tend to make him laugh. Even Kyle agrees with Forest-- whose opinion had been shared by Alex-- that Chandler had all too many queer-coded scenes with Joey.

His mother facetimes him daily, which given how they both don’t exactly go out much starts to become monotonous, until she begins to give in and talk about memories she has of their father. Tidbits she never would have shared with him about their adult life when he was a child or teenager. He in turn facetimes Rosa and shares some of the memories of their father as well, which as much as she tries to pretend she doesn’t want for Arturo’s sake she clearly does with the million questions she asks every single time and the small smile she gives him at the end of their calls.

Liz updates him on her work which is a nice reprieve from everyone’s normalcy and lack of medical jargon sometimes, especially when she gives him inside info on covid vaccine studies not yet published to the general public yet. Everything in him wants this more than anything else in the world right now and he texts her almost every day asking if she’s heard more news even when he knows things take time. She’s a good sport about everything, even when he shares in a very angry rant about Max Evans and how they could have helped so many more people so much more quickly with his DNA-- however selfish that might have been.

When he goes back to work, he feels refreshed, even when it makes things hit like a freight train once more. Lost in a sea of inadequacy, his feelings extend past the pandemic. Even when things return to a level of normalcy and the cases subside he gets alien medical drama thrown in his face once more, and he starts to wonder if he’ll ever recover. If he was wrong to choose this calling. If the fact he can’t help Max or Maria is a sign from above or his father that it’s time to make some career move or change location like his mother and Liz. But, like he tells Michael Guerin. He can’t think he can face his future children and say he walked away from this. Or let people die by quitting, just like Rosa warns. And so he stays and tries to heal both other people and himself.

[godofplumsandthunder]

Twisted Fate

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: Cancer, both Bucky and reader have cancer, Major Character death, brief hospital terms mainly reffering to cancer treatment. References to amputation.

A/N: This was written for the lovely @eurynome827​ 2k celebration. I got a lovely quote of lyrics from Hadestown, which I wanted to do something that was based off of the musical, but I couldn’t figure anything out. Then I had a big anniversary come up and this was came out instead. It’s very angsty, I cried a lot, and well I hope you like it.

The low, steady hum of the fan fills the awkward silence. The psychiatrist, newly assigned to the case, still doesn’t feel comfortable. “Case number 32557038” was widely known in the health care center. The whispers and rumors floated their way down the hall, past the copy machine, filling the office with this chilling tale. Some regarded it as a terrible series of bad luck, others thought it was an act of some benevolent God, pouring his rage on this poor couple. Dr. Breynord, after reading the notes on the file, Breynord knew that this case was perhaps the worst case of bad luck she ever saw in her career, and, maybe it was her stubbornness or naive belief in medicine, but Dr. Breynord was going to help this poor man get the peace he so desperately needs.

“James,” Dr. Breynord’s voice breaks the silence of the office, “I’ve read what my colleagues had to say about your case, but, I’d like you to tell me what has happened if you feel comfortable.”

Shifting in his seat, James sighs, with a small nod of the head, he starts at the beginning.

Bucky Barnes was used to change. Granted, it was other people’s change, but it was still change nonetheless. The poor folks that sat next to him each clinic visit changed, his caretakers changed, it seemed as if the whole world changed around him, while he was stuck in some perpetual hell. Every day dragged out in the same dull, and nauseating feeling, and at times, Bucky felt he was in an endless loop, forsaken by some deity he didn’t believe in. But, for however long Bucky has left in this fallen and cruel world, he’ll remember when you walked in, shattering the miserable purgatory he was banished to, he’ll always remember the day you changed his life.

It happened during his first transfusion session after his surgery. His arm, still wrapped in bandage, IV tubing leading straight to his heart, pumped his body full of liquids, as he waited for the toxic poison to enter his body. He always found it ironic, the “medicine” that was supposed to save his life, that was too dangerous for the nurses to touch with their bare hands, was willingly flushed into his body. Hair loss, mouth sores, and muscle aches were the better side effects. He can’t help but think about what is coming, especially as he sees his nurse, Thor, come over with the freshly made batch of poison [STRIKE THROUGH], chemotherapy as his doctor would want him to call it. Hanging the bag on his IV pole, Thor looks over at Bucky, giving him the “I’m going to go on a rant about something you should care about” look. 

“Now James, we’re getting a new patient today. It’s their first transfusion. They’re going to be sitting in the pod next to you. I swear to the gods, I best not hear another complaint about your attitude.”

“Me? An attitude? No, I think you got me confused with someone else. I’m the brightest little ball of sunshine here!” Bucky can’t help but chuckle. It’s not his fault he wasn’t a “warrior”, blasting “Fight Song” 24/7, as he sips on a kale smoothie with coffee suppositories shoved up his ass. T

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, Barnes,” Thor shakes his head as he cleans up his station, “don’t think I won’t throw your bald ass out of here. That cancer sob story, won’t work on me.” 

Bucky goes back to his phone, already feeling the effects of the chemo. No matter how many anti-nausea meds they fed him, Cisplatin always makes him sick. So, he had the right to act like a grumpy old grandpa. While he scrolls through his social media feed, seeing all the accomplishments, brags, and just shit of his friends, Bucky hears your sniffles, as you make your way down to the end of the Oncology clinic, taking a seat next to Bucky. Even if Thor hadn’t given him the heads up, he would have known you were fresh meat. One infusion, his mom asked him how he could tell. It was easy for Bucky, it all had to do with the eyes. A cancer diagnosis shatters you. It kills all hope, light, and goodness that’s in you. You turn completely numb to the world, to the point where your own wailing and sobs feel muted. Bucky saw all of that in your eyes. Behind the puffy, redness, saw the shards of hope, the fear of the unknown. Before you could reach your seat, you stumble, spilling your possessions that you carried all over the floor. Bucky watches quietly as you quickly pick up your items, collapsing into the chair next to him. 

“Sorry I couldn’t give you a hand, only have the one,” he wiggles his stump, and he's met with silence. Talk about a rough crowd, he thinks, his nephews love his stumpy jokes. “So,” Bucky continues, “what are you in for? I’m a sarcoma, in the arm.” You sniffle as you turn your body to look at this new man.

“Leukemia,” you confess, voice barely above a whisper. It takes a real effort to say it out loud because then it makes all of this real.

“That’s good then,” the “sarcoma” man says to you, and Bucky can see the confusion, and pain on your face.

“How is that good? How is cancer good?”

Using his arm, Bucky points around the room, giving you a tour of the room.

“See him, that’s Riley, he has an inoperable brain tumor. That young kid, with the Switch? His name is Peter, his body is chemo resistant. So yeah, leukemia is good. If you haven’t learned it yet, not all cancers are made equal.”

“Oh,” you barely make out. What were you supposed to say to that? 

=====

Much to Bucky’s surprise, he actually enjoyed having your company. Your treatments lined up and so you both got to know each other well. Bucky enjoyed having someone close to his age that understood his problems. And it also didn’t hurt that you had such a great personality, you got Bucky’s dark humor (and it went without saying that you understood it was his way of coping), and you looked great. Not many people can rock a bald head. And Bucky has seen his fair share, and he can say with confidence, you rocked it. Not covering it up with caps, scarves, or wigs. Because why should you hide away? For the first time since his diagnosis, Bucky had a purpose. So, while his immune system allowed him to leave the house, he picked up a bouquet of fake flowers (neutropenia life, am I right?) and a box of chocolates to take with him to the next transfusion. When he got to the clinic, Bucky was a bit worried to see that you weren’t next to him. Instead, there sat Barb, 75 years old with breast cancer. 

“Oh sweetie, are those for me?” Barb looks at the flowers in Bucky’s hand. 

“No!” He snaps, as closes the curtain that surrounds his chair. He hears some huffs and complaints from Barb, but frankly, he doesn’t give a damn. Bucky only has one thing on his mind: you. 

“Are you alright? You’re not here at Club Med” Bucky texts as quickly as his one hand would let him. Dropping his phone, Bucky stares at it all while the nurses prep him. And because of damn, HIPAA, none of the nurses can tell him where you’re at. Minutes turn into hours, and by the time Bucky’s infusion ends, you still haven’t responded to him or shown up at the clinic. 

“Hope you’re okay. Call or text me. I'm worried” Bucky sighs, realizing how much you made his chemo treatments more bearable. How your laugh could make him forget of the poison he had to take, or how the light in your eyes could make him forget, even just for a bit, how much his arm stump was hurting. You were a drug, more potent than any he’s had before, and Bucky was becoming addicted. He’s picking at the hamburger he got for dinner, not having much of an appetite when his phone goes off. Seeing it’s from you, he rushes to answer. 

“Y/N! I… Where were you? I missed you today. I had to sit by Barb and…” The sounds of your cries cut Bucky off. 

“Are you okay?”

“No, Buck. I… Got some bad news today.” 

“Where are you?” He asks. He knows you’re alone, and speaking from experience, you never want to be alone when you get bad news. He knows from experience.

“Buck…” you sigh, “It’s fine. Really.” 

“Please, Y/N, I know what it’s like to be alone after getting this kind of news. Please, let me be there for you.” Breaking further down into tears, you cry at Bucky’s actions, actions of love. 

“I’ll send you my address,” Bucky gathers the flowers and chocolates as he rushes to your apartment, breaking a few traffic laws to get there faster. When he gets there, the image of you, opening the door, eyes swollen from crying breaks his heart. 

“Oh, Y/N,” Bucky sweeps you into his arm, as he closes the door behind, “tell me what’s going on hun.” 

You both sit on the couch, the bag with the flowers and chocolate lay at your feet, as you stay in Bucky’s embrace. 

“I’m… I’m dying Buck!” You manage to say in-between odds. “Dr. Fair... gave me three months to live. There’s nothing else they can do.” You break down in his arms, that last straw finally breaking, as you tell your newfound best friend, the person you were supposed to beat cancer with. Bucky tries his best to remain strong, to be the rock, the foundation you need, but you’re not the only one that is losing a friend. You sit in each other's embrace, as you mourn. You cry for all the missed opportunities, laughs, and memories that won’t be made. 

“What am I going to do,” you whisper, your voice hoarse from crying. 

Kissing your head, Bucky pulls you in closer, “we, are going to make these three months, the best three months you’ve ever had.”

Bucky lives up to his promise, spending every hour he isn’t in the hospital with you. The time you spent together changed your relationship. Neither had to officially say the words to make your relationship official. It was just you, and Bucky. Holding each other close, as the tempest waged on, trying to beat you into submission. You go on walks in the park, picnics, and one night when you both had the energy, went skinny dipping. Your logic being, what are the cops going to do? Arrest two cancer patients, with one of them being terminal? You threw caution to the wind and simply lived. Lived, breathed, and loved. Things seemed to be perfect until reality hit.

Your body wasn’t keeping up. Your cancer was spreading faster than they predicted. The doctors couldn’t give you an explanation as to why the cancer was spreading so fast. It shouldn’t have been. Soon, home hospice came, to try to make you more comfortable. And like the good partner he was, Bucky spent every minute by your side. That’s why, when you felt the inevitable coming, you felt your body give in to the tiredness of fighting, you grab Bucky’s hand. 

“I love you, James Bucky Barnes,” you weakly say, giving him one last affirmation, as you went to sleep, for one last time. 

As Bucky wakes up from his nap, feeling your cold body, he tries to ruse you back awake. Once he realizes what has happened, the last bit of humanity inside of Bucky snapped. He lets out a blood-curdling scream, as tears stream down his face. He strikes your face, pleas escape his mouth. Pleas to you, to a God he has long stopped believing in. His body shakes, his tears wetting your hair, as he holds you for one last time. 

=====

“Oh James,” Dr. Breynord grabs herself a tissue before handing Bucky the box of tissues. “I truly am so sorry to hear that. I want you to know that I am here to help you get happy again, and to heal.”

Bucky sighs and turns away from the doctor as he wipes his eyes. “You’re just like the rest of them. You didn’t listen to me.” 

Breynord was surprised that this was Bucky’s complaint. The other doctors had warned her that Bucky could be sarcastic, standoff-ish, and even flat-out rude to them. Breynord thought she did a good job listening to his story, what did she miss.

“I… I don’t think I understand what you mean, James.”

Bucky lets out a heartless, empty laugh, “you want me to be happy again. I’m never going to be. Not only do I have to live with the guilt of surviving, when she died, in my arms, but I’ll also never find another soul like hers. We had a connection, you know. It felt like we met before. When I held her in my arm, and her arms would wrap around me, it felt like I had the whole world in my arms. I didn’t need anything else when I had Y/N.” 

“So tell me doc, what’s the point of carrying on?”

[mythiccheroacademia]

Injured!Reader Headcanons

A/N: I thought it was time again that I gave myself room to publicly simp over a couple of my groupies. It’s truly an odd bunch but who gon check me? It’s a little self-indulgent, but mainly practice for writing character personalities that never really get requested. Enjoy this hotties 🤸🏾

Warnings: mature language, mentions of blood

Todoroki Natsuo:

i hc that he’ll probably end up with another doctor

is it bc i wanna be a doctor? don’t worry about it

anyways

natsuo is the pinacle of a good bf/husband, but he’s not special enough to not fall into the MD mindset 

doctors make for the worst patients

they also make the worst caretakers when it came to their own family 

you deadass have to be bleeding out on the floor before they consider taking you to the hospital 

you had gotten into a car accident and, you were okay, but you ended up with a dislocated shoulder and a consussion

natsuo was in the middle of a surgery and had to wait two hours before he could quickly text you once he heard word of your accident 

him: “y/n? please tell me you’re okay”

you: “i lived bitch”

him: “niceee”

as soon as natsuo heard that nothing life-threatening happened he just patted you on the back and said

“aren’t you a trooper!” 

when they went to pop your shoulder back in, you were scared out of your mind. you’re looking for support and this man deadass goes

“it’s just a little readjustment, babe. you’ll be fine” with that goofy ass smile

 you: “....aight keep that same energy when i readjust your face, hoe”

you’d admit that you were being whiny during recovery, but the headaches were awful

and it didnt help that you were constantly thinking about the small possibility that if you fell asleep, your brain would swell and then...death

natsuo just laughed at you 

“it’s just a little concussion, sweetheart. you’ll be okay in like 10 days”

the todoroki gene for denseness is dominant it seems

you told him that if he wrote off your fears again, you’d have thanksgiving with endeavor this year

he suddenly turned into a mother hen

“is your head okay?”

“do you need a heating pad?”

“on a scale of 1-10, what’s your level of pain?”

honestly, it’ll take a couple threats here and there, but he’s good at his job

Sero Hanta: 

being a pro-hero could be fun and all, but it was dangerous as hell 

you two were called on a case with a few other heroes

the villain was a high-level threat, and you all were focused on disarming them before they could cause any more damage

sero’s quirk was more apt for disabling villians, so he focued on that

you were more of powerhouse, and focused on protecting him and others that were trying to take down the enemy

in the midst of things, you saw a mother and her child about to be crushed by falling debris

you push her out of the way, but you’re leg is crushed under the cement

the woman is crying, thanking you whiles begging to help you

despite the intense pain, you tell her you’ll be fine and she reluctantly leaves for a safer area

sero feels his heart stop as he observes the blood pooling by you body

tokoyami tells him that he can handle the rest and for him to go to you 

he doesnt have to be told twice

when he get over to you, he’s quickly thinking of ways to get the cement off of you 

meanwhile, youre more worried about the villain

due the adrenaline in both of your bodies, you start to bicker about what’s more important

sero is usually good at keeping a calm head under pressure, but your dissmsal of your injury was really starting to piss him off

“hanta, this doesnt matter! go help tokoyami!”

“just let me ensure that you don’t lose your leg, first” he snapped

“no! just go!”

“i’m just--”

“stop!”

“y/n--”

“sero--”

“GOD DAMN IT Y/N! WILL YOU JUST SHUT THE HELL UP AND LET ME HELP YOU!”

he never yelled at you like that before

you were kind of shook, so you just kept quiet

sero eventually got the rock off of you, but he was still pissed even after the enemy was detained

when you both got back from the hospital, you apologized for making him angry

your bf is quick to let go of his anger. he just sighs and holds you close

he apologizes for losing his cool

he loves you so much that seeing you injured makes him go crazy