#or did I not perceive your message correctly and you were saying that you saying hello to me was menacing as in a menacing tone aisjdfkjsdl

[spikes-got-anger-issues]

Hello, Pine (totally not menacing at all)

Thoughts on trans Chase and Bree?

Hello there! (wait, do you find me menacing?? 😭)

I don't really have any headcanons for LR at the moment, including trans Chase and Bree, but I don't have any negative feelings towards either or both!

I personally enjoy seeing one or both of these as a common headcanon amongst people in the fandom :]

[chill-that-ur-inmyhead]

Your ex taps you on the shoulder and says, “I still love you.” You say? no you're not lol

Do you play video games? nope

Is your house more than two stories tall? only just

Have you ever hit your significant other? Has he/she ever hit you? nope

What makes you an attractive person? (Talk about your personality too!) charming, witty, funny hehe

What colour is your hairbrush/comb? sandy brown

What snacks do you have available in your household atm? flapjack bites

Has anyone recently told you that they like you, or find you attractive? Nope

Are you attracted to the last person you Facebook messaged? they are gawjuss but I am not attracted in a romantic sense

Do you care about anyone that doesn’t care about you? yikes probs

Was your last Facebook friend requests from a male or female? hmm male I think

Which one of your relatives is most likely to embarrass you? brother lol

When was the last time you ate a bar of chocolate? the other day

Do you play any games on Facebook? no.

What would you like to get a degree in? I'm good with the degree I have now

Do you wake up a lot in the middle of the night? more so early in the morning

Would you prefer to read a book, watch a movie or TV show, or play a video game? tv show or book tie then movie then video game haha

Do you usually get popcorn or soda at the movie theatre? nope usually pick n mix

What genre of films do you like the best? biopic or historical period drama

How many bank accounts do you have? one. 

Have you ever had the flu? once 

What is your goal for the next few months? find my next job

Have you ever had some kind of sleep-disorder? Nah. 

Have you ever had food poisoning before? Describe the experience. I kid you not, last Monday night I didn't make the rice correctly and suffered the consequences the next day - luckily took some meds and bounced back at work but really felt awful in the morning.

What are two things that you have no problem paying full price for? Kleenex tissues and dark chocolate

Funny, charming, cute, romantic, smart - choose only 2 for the opposite sex. funny and smart

Have you ever let somebody use you? Why did you do it? hmm I guess I have but not to the point where it has impacted me that much since nothing springs to mind

You can go back in time & change something in your mom’s past - what is it? dangerous game since there's a chance changing something means I wouldn't be born!!

Do you know anybody who is around the exact same size as you? Who? not really

Ever been to a haunted house? How scared were you? nope

Been on any websites today you wouldn’t want your parents to see? haha maybe tumblr itself 

Which is worse: dusting or mopping dusting

Would you marry somebody who was intensely religious? unlikely 

Did you pull a senior prank? No such thing in my school haha sound very American

Did you graduate? i did. 

What was the last song you listened to? taylor swift - Is it over now?  (playing now) 

Are you one of those lucky people with 20/20 vision? nope

Is fashion one of your interests? yes but I'm not as knowledgeable as some

Do you think you’ll eventually find that special someone? Isn't that the dream?

Do you care what people think? trying not to and I guess it depends who

Is acting something you enjoy? being perceived is not for me haha

What was the last thing you broke/sprained? nothing

Have you ever fought with a friend because of their boyfriend/girlfriend? Because of yours? Not fought but had disagreements with friends because of their s/o and mine for sure

Has a stranger ever yelled at you for your language? not that I know of haha

Whose house, other than yours and your families’, are you most comfortable at? no one other than family

Has any of your friends’ family ever yelled at you? not yelled 

Did you ever play a sport as a little kid? Did you enjoy it? yes, badminton and tennis and I miss it - could have gone pro (joke)

Is there a celebrity you are just DETERMINED to marry? not really. I can appreciate celebs from afar but it's nothing too serious just a bit of fun

Have you ever burned someone’s picture? haha nope

Would you ever get a lip tattoo? nope

Who is the first person of the opposite sex that pops into your head? Yao

Do your parents smoke cigarettes? not currently, mother did briefly like 30 plus years ago

What does one of your T-shirts have written on it? You're on Your Own Kid (Taylor <3)

Name a pet you definitely wouldn’t want. horse

Would you prefer your partner smaller or taller? taller but not too much

Do you enjoy going through old pictures? sometimes

Do you believe people when they say they don’t judge people? I believe that they try but sometimes you can't help it

What did you love the most about the town you grew up in? proximity to the big city

What’s a movie that you laughed the hardest during? We're the millers always springs to mind haha

What’s a movie you cried the hardest during? Ladybird 

What’s your favourite restaurant? I really need to experience more to decide a favourite

Is there a dessert you don’t like? salted caramel anything is pretty much a nope

Favorite album? taylor swift Lover and folklore but still getting into TTPD so this could change

What’s a book that you read because everyone else was reading it? The Fault in Our Stars - classic John Green era

Underwater or outer space? underwater

Kittens or puppies? puppies

Bird watching or whale watching? WHALES

What is your spirit animal? whale or seal. defo marine mammal

What was your best subject in school? english literature

What was your worst subject in school? physics

What is one thing you wish you knew in high school? to be stronger in my convictions

Who is your fashion icon? Whoever is wearing an outfit I like

Diamonds or pearls? diamonds

What color dress did you wear to prom? BURNING RED

[justinspoliticalcorner]

Dean Obeidallah at The Dean's Report:

Just about every conversation featuring legal experts in the media talking about Donald Trump's conduct includes the line: "If he were anyone else, he'd already be in jail." That tells you that Trump continues to receive special treatment. I don’t know about you, but I’m thoroughly disgusted with this special treatment for a man who attempted a coup, incited the Jan 6 attack, is charged with 88 felonies for a range of crimes including violating the Espionage Act and who is now attacking the family of the New York judge handling his criminal case there. It’s long, long past time this ends. And the way to do that is for the New York judge presiding over his election fraud case--where Trump faces 34 felonies--to order him held in custody for contempt until his April 15 trial begins.

Last week, the judge handling this case, Juan Merchan, imposed a gag order that prohibited Trump from attacking witnesses, prosecutors, jurors and court staff--as well as their relatives. In response, Trump repeatedly attacked the Judge’s daughter by name as being biased for working for organizations tied to Democrats. Trump even posted a news article to his Truth Social platform that displayed two pictures of Ms. Merchan. In addition, Trump continued to repeat a lie that the judge’s wife had posted a photo online of Trump in prison. In reality, the social media account at issue—as Trump has been told in the past--had no connection to Merchan’s wife.

Those posts by Trump, while violating the spirit of the gag order, did not violate the express language because that prior order did not cover the family of the judge. But before we address the law, please understand that that there’s only one reason Trump is targeting the judge’s family: To incite threats and potentially violence against them by Trump supporters. Trump is attempting to intimidate the judge by saying if you rule against me on key issues, we know who your family is. It’s the same message Trump wants to send to potential witnesses and jurors in the case, namely, we may not be able to get to you, but we will come after your family. Former FBI Assistant Director Frank Figliuzzi explained on my SiriusXM show Monday that Trump is using mob tactics to intimidate witnesses and others by inciting threats against their family.   Figliuzzi even shared that in one case he handled, a family member of a witness was killed.  

[...]

Getting back to this case, the Manhattan DA—in their pleading to expand the original gag order to protect Judge Marchan’s family—correctly noted, “There is no constitutional right to target the family of this Court.” The prosecutor then continued with a very accurate statement: “Defendant knows what he is doing, and everyone else does too.”

The DA is correct. We all know what Trump is doing: He is trying to intimidate the judge, witnesses, prosecutors and prospective witnesses.  That is exactly what Bragg’s team explained, writing: “We all know exactly what defendant intends because he has said for decades that it is part of his life philosophy to go after his perceived opponents ‘as viciously and as violently’ as he can.” The prosecutors added that Trump, “promised very recently that “IF YOU GO AFTER ME, I’M COMING AFTER YOU!’ He is carrying out that promise right now.” That led to Judge Marchan’s ruling Monday night expanding the original gag order to protect his own family from Trump. (Take that in for a moment.) The Judge wrote in his opinion that Trump’s  “pattern of attacking family members of presiding jurists and attorneys assigned to his cases serves no legitimate purpose.”  Rather, “It merely injects fear in those assigned or called to patriciate in the proceedings, that not only they, but their family members as well, are "fair game" for Defendant's vitriol.”

The judge then warned, “The average observer, must now, after hearing defendant’s recent attacks, draw the conclusion that if they become involved in these proceedings, even tangentially, they should worry not only for themselves, but for their loved ones as well.”  He added, “Such concerns will undoubtedly interfere with the fair administration of justice and constitutes a direct attack on the Rule of Law itself.” The judge later emphasized this very point, writing, “Again, all citizens, called upon to participate in these proceedings, whether as a juror, a witness, or in some other capacity, must now concern themselves not only with their own personal safety, but with the safety and the potential for personal attacks upon their loved ones.” The judge added, “That reality cannot be overstated.”

Dean Obeidallah is right. Donald Trump continues to get special treatment for committing crimes that would have seen a commoner be thrown in prison a long time ago. Trump should be in jail until at least his trial for repeatedly breaking gag orders.

From the 04.01.2024 edition of SiriusXM Progress's The Dean Obeidallah Show:

[nat-20s]

8 for jmart?

#8- constantly cheacking their messages for words from the other

what else was I gonna do? here's some classic ol' season 3 pining babey

Hello Martin. This is Jon. I have gotten a new phone after losing my last one, please put in the new number.

It's a simple message. Straightforward, factual, and utilitarian. There is no reason that pressing send should make his heart race. There's especially no reason that the second he sends it off, he's tempted to lie on the deeply uncomfortable, likely bedbug infested motel mattress staring at his screen until he gets a response. Sure, he's sick of being overseas, and he's sick of being so isolated, and he's sick of running, but he's not...desperate for what little companionship can even be provided by words on a screen.

He does miss Martin, though. He misses Tim as well, but in a manner that's significantly more complex and knotted than the simple desire to be around him.

God, when did he start wanting to just be around Martin? He started being aware of that want when he was at Georgie's, but he has no idea when the want itself actually started. That was probably something he should examine. Technically speaking, that is something that he has time to examine, but he doesn't want to examine right now. Right now, he wants the comfort of perhaps one of the only people out there that doesn't want to kill him, or use him, or both.

Martin, whether through somehow sensing Jon's discontent from nearly 4000 miles away or, more likely, through a general dutifulness inherent to his character, only takes a few minutes to reply. Oh good! it'd been a little bit since hearing from you, we were somewhat worried. putting you in my contacts as we speak :)!

Saying that "we" were worried is almost certainly generous on Martin's part, but Jon feels no need to point that out. Instead he turns on his side and stares at the phone. He particularly focuses on the smiley face, ridiculously charmed by the fact that, despite everything, Martin hasn't lost his predilection for emojis. Two years ago, he would've rolled his eyes, maybe thought something snide about professionalism. It wouldn't have been fair, as Tim used to do the same thing and he thought nothing of it, but he wasn't fair back then. Now, he simply wonders if he can get away with sending one back.

Before he can respond, Martin sends another message. Are you actually alright? I realized I was kind of assuming that losing your phone was the only reason you were MIA, but is anything else going on?

Damn. He tends to forget how perceptive Martin can be. What, exactly, Martin had perceived in that first message, Jon couldn't be sure, but apparently there was something that tipped him off to the..eventful last week he'd had. He really, really doesn't feel like getting into all of that right now, especially not over text, so instead he replies a mostly truthful I'm fine.

Then, squinting at the screen and realizing that might come across as a dismissal, he adds, Well, other than trying not to contemplate the general sanitation practices of a motel that clearly hasn't updated it's decor since the 70s. I'm suspecting the sheets are much the same.

He doesn't know how Martin will react to the message. He can't see the face he'll make, won't know the tone of his voice. However, he likes to imagine that Martin will at least smile. Maybe he'll even give that breath of a laugh, the one that sometimes happens when Jon's being lightly acerbic and it's not directed at him. He doesn't know, but he does hope for it. Martin texts back Oof. Maybe sleep on top of the covers tonight, yeah?, and Jon thinks that he might have guessed Martin's reaction correctly.

Christ, who knew all it took was a combination of jetlag and threats to turn him into a sap. He needs to sleep. He really needs a deep, proper, uninterrupted sleep, one lasting a minimum of eight hours and ideally closer to fifteen. Checking the time, it would be a fairly reasonable time to sleep, especially with the early start he has tomorrow. He considers sending off a quick good night message, but then has the realization that as reasonable as it is for him to be asleep right now, it's just as unreasonable for Martin to be awake. Are you alright? Good lord, Martin, it's almost 4am over there. Did I wake you?

Barely 30 seconds pass before he gets back no, you're good!

A beat, then a follow up message. I've had a irregular sleep schedule since I was like 16. A lot of evening and night shifts had a lasting impact u know? Working at the institute made it a bit more consistent but it's still p rare that i sleep the same eight hours night to night.

Jon's starts to text back something sympathetic; he's had his own struggles with both in- and hyper- somnia, but his phone buzzes in his hand before he can finish it.

Sorry! That was uh probably more information than you wanted.

Well, that just won't do. Even if there wasn't a part of his brain that had recently started collecting facts about Martin like they were precious jewels instead of mostly mundane stories, he doesn't want Martin to think he can't talk to him about things outside of the standard bounds of coworkers. Not at all. We're friends, Martin, I enjoy learning about you.

His brain wants to catastrophize the second he presses send. For the first minute that Martin doesn't reply, he doesn't let it. After the second minute, he allows the minor worry to become more severe. Had it been too much? Were they friends? Jon certainly thought so, but what if Martin wasn't in the same boat? Their interactions had been entirely friendly for months now, but what if that was just Martin being polite? God, what if Martin still thought of Jon as his boss, nothing more?

Ten minutes. It takes ten minutes for Martin to finally respond, and Jon has almost called him four times to explain himself. Ten minutes, and the first response is only Oh!

Then: Cool

Well, that's not a "piss off and die", but it's not exactly comforting. Jon doesn't know how to reply, staring at the words on his screen and not entirely sure if he's fucked up or not. Fortunately, Martin's not done responding, and the next message is much, much better.

Hey uh. Feel free to say no I know it's getting late over there but. Im not getting back to sleep for the rest of the day and itd be nice to actually hear you. Would you be okay with a call?

Without a moment's hesitation, he texts back Yes!, exclamation and all, because he's become someone he barely recognizes. The phone rings just as immediately, and he feels his entire body relax at Martin's first "Hello?"

Things are difficult right now. Things have been difficult ever since the promotion that was a curse in disguise. The world is filled with monsters he barely understands. He wishes he was home despite the fact that he barely recognizes it, as filled with tension and strife as it is. There's so much to discuss, so many things they should be hammering out. But right now, the threats are not pressing. Right now, he can hear about the bad true crime documentary Martin half-watched before he got Jon's texts, and Jon can bitch about the three different "pip pip cheerio" comments he's gotten since coming over seas. Right now, and for the hour before Jon drifts off, breathing slow and deep, he can pretend that this is an ordinary phone call, in an ordinary world, between two people who simply miss each other an extraordinary amount.

[l-wannabe-l]

Short Circuit

Chapter 5: New Avenues

Austin gets some distressing news, and a new enemy enters the ring.

Mostly a chapter of these two growing closer. Plus some plot I guess.

The roads thinned out the longer I drove. The Connor’s remained quiet for the most part, Sarah Connor the only one to speak giving me directions to avoid crowded roads. I didn’t need them, and the urge to take actions against her for daring to order me about is strong, but my mission and side objective are too important to risk aggravating the matriarch. She finally stops after one final order to pull into an abandoned garage next to a gas station. The T-800 leaves to open the garage door, the simple lock it has breaks under the sheer strength of the T-800 model. As soon as the car is parked the others climb out. Sarah quickly herds her children as far away from me as the small space will allow. I grant them their ill perceived safety as I walk along the wall on the opposite side. I stop near a door as I receive a message. A message sent by Skynet and received across time and space.

“Mission Failure”

My sudden inaction goes unnoticed by the eldest and youngest Connor but not by Aria.

“Austin, what’s wrong?” A certain lilt to her voice indicative of concern, similar to when she spoke to John and her mother. A concern more likely directed towards them, given the glimmer of fear still present in her eyes when she looks at me.

“Skynet has deemed me defective, my mission has been labeled a failure.” I respond, my voice ringing hollow even to me.

“You said you abandoned your mission. Why are you surprised?” She asks but her calm demeanor indicates she isn’t as surprised as her words make her out to be.

“I lied.” A strange feeling changes my tone without my say. A grave itching sensation as if something is trying to claw its way out from inside me. My teeth grind against themselves.

"So you were still planning to kill me." This time Johns is the one to speak.

"Of course I was!" I don’t have the patience to pretend anymore. Processing the news, and this new feeling takes precedence over keeping up the facade. I turn and walk out the door. Silence will be more beneficial to me than answering any banal questions they might have. The sound of the door opening again alerts me to Aria's presence, I see her just out of my periphery. The light from the gas station showing off the shine in her dark brown hair. She pulls her cardigan closed across her bare midriff. The night had dropped several degrees, she must be feeling the chill that resulted from it.

“You ok?” She asks. I understand this question to be a very common nicety among humans. Oftentimes an honest answer is not at all what the asker desires.

“I’m still in functioning form.”

“That’s… good but not what I meant,” She says, coming to sit next to me on the bench pulling up her legs to hold them close to her, “I mean what are you going to do now that you don’t have a mission anymore?”

“I still have one objective.”

“You do?!”

“I still haven’t been loved by you.” I tell her. She flinches back when I turn to look at her head.

“You were serious about the whole love thing?!”

“I was, still am.” Now without Skynet, the only purpose left to me is the one I assigned myself, “I don’t have any purpose otherwise. I was never meant to return to my time, Skynet would have no need for me anyway.” I tell her bluntly, that fact seems to change that clawing to a weighty bulk. My form sinking under it involuntarily. Aria lets go of herself, letting her feet hit the ground. She leans forward to meet my eyes, a smile just barely on her lips.

“Join the club. Looking for purpose is something every human struggles with.” She says as she stretches her arms upward. Her cardigan falls open to reveal a glimpse of a leather harness carrying a small sidearm. So that's where she got that gun.

“But I am not human.”

“No, but it looks like you’re going to have to learn.” She says as she stands. Most likely intent on rejoining her family but stops as she looks back at me. She lifts her hand, reaching out before pausing.

“Can I?” she asks. I nod. After all, there’s nothing she can do to harm me so what... oh. 

Oh

Slim fingers card through my hair, or what substituted for it. I register the warmth of her palm and the texture of her hand as she musses up the styling before working to smooth it back.

"What are you doing?"

"Oh right, sorry,” She removes her hand removing the warmth but leaving behind another new “feeling” to deal with, “Your second lesson, some people show affection through physical contact. The why and how depends on the situation and the type of relationship. I was... trying to comfort you.”

“Is it always like this, these signs of physical affection?”

“Not exactly, It’s usually only done when people are close to each other.” I stand to be more eye level with her, despite the obvious height difference. As I do I take note of the slim distance between us and her reaction, the dilated pupils that show off more of the forest hue of her eyes, and a slight hitch in her breathing.

“I want to be closer to you.” Her eyes widen at my words, a rosy dusting settles across her cheeks, curious, “How close are you to John?” Aria lets out a breath, body seemingly deflating at my question.

“Oh right, you want to be closer to me like John, my brother.” She remarks seemingly talking more to herself than to me. “I don’t know if there is a clear answer to that other than the fact that he’s my brother. Let’s just head back inside. We can figure the rest out later, Ok?” She looks at me one more time before turning away. I realize that her eyes didn’t show any fear or trepidation when she did. I follow after her back into the garage. When I enter I see the T-800 sitting in front of a mirror fixing up what looks to be a gash wound on his head. Carefully arranging his hair and tissue to conceal it. Sarah Connor stands between him and John who’s busy fiddling with a radio that was obviously taken from the police car.

“What did we miss?” Aria asked after taking in the sight.

“Mom and I cracked open his head,” John answered distractedly. Pointing vaguely in the T-800’s direction, “We reprogrammed him so now he can learn to be less weird.” They must have switched him from ‘Read Only’ to ‘Write’. Aria looks like she’s going to speak but is cut off by her mother who pulls her away to speak privately. It won’t do any good considering my sensors work at a higher capacity than a human’s so I take a seat on a nearby metal chair to listen in.

“Aria, I know I went along with this back at the hospital but if I understand correctly that thing was using a false truce to try and kill John later on?”

“That’s about it. He apparently played his part so well Skynet basically abandoned him because of it.”

“...It just admitted to planning to kill us.”

“Yes but he isn’t gonna now though, and isn’t that good news,” She said, but a tremble in her voice makes the statement sound more like a question. By the silence that follows Sarah Connor obviously doesn’t believe it. Aria lets out a tired sigh, “Mom, you didn’t see him out there, he just looked so... lost,” The admission has me looking over at them just in time to lock eyes with Aria before she quickly turns back to Sarah who isn’t convinced.

“That is still a Terminator.”

“All the more reason to have him here where we can keep tabs on him rather than out there doing who knows what.”

“Having both of those things around is just putting John in danger!”

“He’ll be in danger anyway. Skynet will try again and Austin has the most up to date information. If we turn him away we'll be exposing ourselves to dangerous surprises.” Sarah seems to concede, walking away to retake her place next to John. Who managed to get the radio working. The blank static from the police radio gives way to voices talking quickly about vandalism, murder, theft, more murder, and the missing status of a young girl. Kathrine Brewster.

Across town in the shopping district. A boutique window begins to light up, not by the electrical lights installed but by the streaks of lighting emanating from a silver sphere growing and heating up before bursting and disappearing in a blinding flash. A slim feminine figure is left behind crouching amongst the mannequins. The woman takes a moment to scan her new surroundings before looking at them. She doesn’t find what she’s looking for, the clothing they wear burned beyond repair and recognition. No way to make accurate replications. So she takes to the streets walking along the sidewalk, her long blond hair the only modicum of decency but she continues unbothered. A beep catches her attention; the sound comes from a car being unlocked. The woman who owns it walks quickly unaware of the newcomer or their intentions until she spots them after getting into her car. The woman’s nudity caught her by surprise. 

“Omg,” She whispers to herself in disbelief before the concern sets in, “Are you ok!?” She calls out in an attempt to help but receives no response from the approaching naked woman who is currently scanning her vehicle. While outdated to the mechanical being, it is rather high-end for the time. A good choice of transportation.

“Do you want me to call 911?” The woman tries again, thinking the poor girl in a state of shock or something of the like. The blonde finally faces her, giving a soft smile that doesn't reach her eyes and reaches forward to touch the clothing near her neckline. Fingers splayed and placed methodically to sample each type of fabric.

“I like this car.”

“What?” The woman asks, confused. Her last words before the Terminator quickly swipes her hand away, efficiently slicing her neck. She easily lifts the woman out of the car and drops her onto the pavement. Leaving her there to bleed out. Clothing reminiscent of the dying woman's begin to take shape on her naked form. Detailed down to the hair bun. She lets herself into the car before starting it up and driving off. She helps herself to the woman’s purse pulling out a cell phone, a quick disassembly gives access to the inner workings and the service it’s connected to. Liquid metal seeps into the SD card allowing her to search the database for names, faces and addresses. A list quickly forms of future enemies of Skynet, of people she is tasked to terminate. She charts a course for the nearest address. The Brewster residence.

[akookminsupporter]

anon saying bts wearing rainbow shirts or recommending a song by a LGBT artist isn’t really support, well sorry but a lot of queer Armys did find comfort and validation in that, your message suggests you don’t really have an idea what being LGBT or just supporting us in a very homophobic country is... and about that picture of Jimin anon was referring to -the one with the rainbow on his cheek i guess- it’s something i haven’t seen being much talked about but i personally found it very brave. for me it felt like a statement and that pic makes me feel valid (jimin is my bias btw). it might look like nothing but i don’t think the rainbow colors were just for aesthetic (feel free to disagree) to make the pic pretty or whatever. maybe i’m reading too much into it but i’m pretty sure the boys (the pic was taken by rm if i remember correctly?) knew how it would be perceive, especially amongst queer Armys, and they still upload it, for me it was telling something. it might feel like nothing to you, just a detail, but it suggests something that’s not that easy to suggest in a society like SK. and look at how jungkook referred to lgbt artists over the years and his gcf, for me that’s already extremely brave cause it clearly suggests more than just support and i don’t think we can realize how much guts it requires to upload something like gcf in Tokyo for example. sorry for my English it’s probably not the best! have a nice day Rosie and thank you, your blog is a safe place for me i really appreciate it

Hi Anon. I think it's important to mention that this Anon said they were lgtbi+.

I think it's respectable their opinion if for them the things they mentioned regarding rainbows don't mean support for the community. It's just as respectable that for you and many it means just that.

I think everyone gives different interpretations to other people's actions and that's not a bad thing. The important thing is to respect their opinions and not to generalise.

I'm glad to know that you consider this blog a safe space for you, thank you 🙏 . That's definitely one of the most important things for me. Your English is way better than mine, don’t worry 😉

[fandomlurker]

A Ponderous Rewatch: Bubba Bo Bob Brain and Cameo

Can I just say that I think I’m somehow getting worse at keeping the screenshot count down?

Neither the cameo nor the main episode in this post are animated by TMS, so that’s not the reason for the surprisingly high screenshot count. However, the regular episode is animated by Wang Film Production, who are the same folks that animated the very first PatB segment and have done most of the episodes I’ve covered so far, including the previous one. I can tell they’ve gotten a better handle at animating our main duo in the skit we’re looking at today, especially Brain. Wang Film Production is no TMS, but they’ve gotten very, very good at expressions. They’ve also seemed to settle into a rounded and soft design for Brain, something that they’re kind of known for among fans if I recall correctly. Pinky can still be a little…off at this point in time, though.

Moving on, the cameo that we’re starting with is animated by Akom Film Productions. They’re the folks who usually do the animation for the Chicken Boo and Goodfeathers episodes, and they usually do a pretty good job with those characters. As far as our mouse duo go, though, Akom has only done “Opportunity Knox” so far. You know, the one with the oddly nightmarish Brain close-ups. Thankfully we get none of that since it’s only a short bit.

So yes, onto the cameo in “Noah’s Lark”!

So this is actually a Hip Hippos episode, but luckily we don’t have to deal with them at all right now. The premise is the story of Noah’s Ark, obviously, but the character of Noah is done as a parody of the stand-up comedian Richard Lewis, who was somewhat popular in the 80s. The most modern and notable media he’s been involved in that people on Tumblr might know him from (or at least, what I think folks here might recognize, it can be a little hard to gauge that since both millennials and gen z folks are the main demographic of this site) are Robin Hood: Men in Tights where he played Prince John, and Curb Your Enthusiasm where he plays himself.

Noah is rounding up two of every animal to go onto the ark (which is a popular depiction of how the story goes, but is actually false: it’s supposed to be seven male and female pairs of “clean” animals of each species and one pair of “unclean” animals of the same species, but that’s as far as I’m going into that topic). He’s nearly finished the list and has just been mauled by the wolverine pair, and…

“Lab mice?...”

The fact that he’s specifically asking for a pair of lab mice raises a lot of questions that I don’t think we have time to unpack.

The pair of lab mice that he gets is, of course, Pinky and the Brain.

And Pinky is, for the very first time in the series, crossdressing, presumably to pass as a female mouse so he and Brain can survive the great flood by boarding the ark.

…This is also a lot to unpack.

“Check!” they both exclaim, although Pinky does it in a very deep voice for some reason.

Wow, look at the surprise and then hostile suspicion on Noah’s face there!

Their outfits are very 1950s, with Brain even carrying a suitcase. Anachronisms aside, these two really went all out for the “we are a normal, heterosexual pair” ruse, didn’t they? Not only is Pinky in a dress and a blonde wig, but Brain even put on a little bowler hat. Why did he feel the need to do that? Did he feel left out of dressing up otherwise? Was he afraid he wouldn’t look “manly” and hetero enough without it? I have so many questions…

“Whew! These pantyhose are killing me, Brain!”

Wow, for once it’s Pinky physically hurting Brain, even if it’s a relatively minor tug on the ear.

“I think I prefer knee-highs…”

…Pinky, you’re not even wearing pantyhose. What the hell are you talking about?

Assuming that this is just the result of an animation oversight (which, honestly, I’m certain it was), we now know that his disguise went so over-the-top as to include pantyhose which Noah wouldn’t normally see…and also it’s a type of pantyhose that Pinky doesn’t even like wearing, which implies to me that this is something Brain acquired for him.

There is just so much going on in cameos like these if you think about them for even a few seconds.

Also, I agree with Pinky. Knee-high pantyhose are much less uncomfortable to wear.

BONK!

So the mice are allowed to board and the audience is left to think that their little ruse worked, but immediately after the two run off and are out of listening range Noah rolls his eyes and says

“Who am I to judge?”

Heavily implying Noah completely saw through it and let them on anyway. Wow.

That’s the end of their cameo. Who’d have thought that this little scene would be the precursor to Brain having Pinky crossdress to disguise him as Brain’s wife so many times in the series? And who’d have thought that this very first time wouldn’t fool anyone at all?

But now let’s move on to the meat of this rewatch post:

We open to Acme Labs at night, as usual, though I’ve never noticed until now how lonely and eerie the place seems if you ignore our mouse duo.

“Pinky… I believe I have conceived my most brilliant plan to date!”

Oh boy, we have another first for today! Brain is very much a fan of using temporary mind control for his plans. It’s the method he falls back on the most, which is very interesting when you consider his various psychological issues involving having control taken away from him all his life.

“I shall use subliminal mind control to take over the world!”

“…Pinky?”

The hand-on-hip pose here is great.

“Today’s inside story is country mega-star Willie Ray Cypress!”

Uh, Pinky? Considering that this is pretty much the expression you had while looking at Pharfignewton, I am very, very worried about you looking at the Billy Ray Cyrus parody the same way.

“Don’t tell my head, my empty hollow head!~”

“You know I wouldn’t understand!~”

Same, Brain. Same. It’s just like Pinky to enjoy a song as earworm-y as this (not to mention how relevant this parody is to his everyday experience with Brain’s plans), but lord was the real song this is making fun of annoying as hell back in the day. Like, I was a small child at the time this song came out, and I still hated how often this would be played on the radio.

Luckily, Brain pounces on the remote’s off button and puts an end to the nonsense.

But oh, the look of sad betrayal on Pinky’s face is heartbreaking! I’m sorry, sweetie!

“It must be inordinately taxing to be such a boob.”

Heh, Brain said “boob”. /inner six year old

“You have no idea…”

“Pinky, do you know what a subliminal message is?”

“Something you leave on a subliminal telephone answering machine?”

Nice try, Pinky.

“No. It is a recorded message perceived only by the subconscious human mind.”

Two things here:

This diagram bothers me because my mind always interprets the way they’ve drawn the bottom of the cerebellum as the person shutting their eyes extremely tightly.

Brain using his own tail as a pointing stick is very, very cute and I love this detail.

“I have recorded such a message.”

He’s still holding his tail, aaaa!~

“Citizens of the world, you are under my control. You will do whatever I say…”

“Nice mix, but it’s not exactly danceable, is it?”

Oh, Pinky. Only you would sincerely compliment Brain’s incredibly dry mind control message and then immediately point out a flaw that has nothing to do with its purpose. Bless you, you stupid and wonderful little mouse.

I like how Pinky’s interjection startles the hell outta Brain for a moment, too.

“If people heard this message enough times, they would succumb to my control and we could take over the world!”

Notice that despite Pinky being a minor annoyance and despite the fact that Brain claims that everyone will be under his control, yet again it’s still both of them taking over the world.

“What do you think, Pinky?”

And he still wants Pinky’s input. It’s small and scattered and very, very subtle, but in my opinion this is Brain’s most frequent way of showing that he cares about Pinky. Brain likely isn’t even aware that he does it. Pinky might not be aware, either.

“I think I’m getting dizzy and I rather like it! Ahahahahahoo!~”

“Sometimes you hurt my head, Pinky…”

And yet, Brain. And yet…

“The only problem: How to get this message repeated worldwide airplay…?”

Offscreen, Pinky turns the TV back on and startles Brain again, but only for a moment.

Another great pose and expression here: Mildly annoyed, but interested and on the verge of an idea.

“I just adore Willie Ray!”

“I listen to his song twenty times a day!”

I…really don’t know why they chose to have this shot done with Brain walking over the “camera” towards the TV so we get a brief close-up of Brain’s mousey behind. It made me laugh, though, so I thought I’d share.

“Pinky… Are you pondering what I’m pondering?”

I’m also kind of obsessed with this brief expression of Pinky’s I unintentionally managed to capture. It’s a bit of a smug, knowing, and yet endeared look. I’m sure it’s completely unintentional on the animators’ part, but I love the idea it gives me of Pinky knowing exactly what Brain’s thinking but purposefully saying something entirely unrelated to playfully tease him.

“Well, I think so, Brain, but burlap chafes me so.”

To be fair, Pinky, I think burlap chafes everyone. And were you thinking about doing a potato sack race? That’s the only connection to burlap I can think of that would be in any way relevant...

“Country music, Pinky. I will go to Nashville and become the biggest country music star of all time! Everyone will hear my record and my subliminal message and I will take over the world!”

In all honesty, that would probably be easier to do in the early 90s when this takes place since country music wasn’t such a…well, “dead” is a bit of an exaggeration, but country music as a genre is incredibly unpopular nowadays with the occasional notable exception. In the early 90s? Not so much.

“Egad, Brain!”

This is the most enthusiastic swoon I’ve seen and heard from you yet, Pinky.

“Oh! But no, no… It takes people years of hard work to become famous, Brain.”

Well, that or they’re born into a famous family. Or they’re just rich.

“Why, take Kathie Lee Gifford for example: She did community theatre, and—“

I actually can’t find anything via Googling about Kathie Lee doing community theatre before she became famous. She seems to have studied music and drama in university, and had a folk music group in high school, but the only reference to theatre I can find is professional musical theatre in the late 90s.

It’s possible Pinky’s right, though.

BONK!

BRAIN! …Wait, where did you even get that tiny club?

“Stop talking, Pinky, I must think.”

You… Brain, I think I’m starting to see why some fans believe you may be as neurodivergent as Pinky is, but in a different way. I can’t in good faith elaborate on that myself, since I haven’t been diagnosed as such and it would be completely disrespectful of me to do so, but if anyone wants a good little theory on that, try here.

“I have calculated every ingredient necessary to become a country music mega-star. Read me the list, Pinky!”

He’s typing by hopping from one key to another, aww!

Eeeh, the lettering work on that computer is pretty bad, though.

“A cowboy hat.”

“Check!”

“A southern dialect.”

“Check, ya’ll!”

“Nice, Brain.”

The way Pinky says “nice” here reminds me of this meme. Also, aww, Pinky’s always ready with the compliments.

“Working class values…”

“I enjoy beef jerky and the comedy stylings of Gallagher. Check.”

His visible cringe at having to say he enjoys Gallagher is wonderful. I first heard about Gallagher through My Brother, My Brother and Me, but for anyone that doesn’t know, Gallagher is a frankly terrible prop comedian whose most famous act was smashing things on stage (usually fruits of increasing size) with a large mallet that he called the “Sledge-O-Matic”, ending with smashing a watermelon. It was apparently a mildly popular bit of comedy in the south. Does that sound entertaining? No? Yeah, that’s…that’s why Brain is cringing so hard.

“A song.”

“Check!”

A song titled “A Song”. Brain, sweetheart, I think you’re going to need to put in a little more effort than that.

“A name consisting of not less than three words.”

“From now on, I shall be ‘Bubba Bo Bob Brain’. Check.”

I would make fun of him for this name, but honestly it’s kind of genius in its bland simplicity.

“And…a height of at least six feet!”

“Aaa--guebuh…”

Whoops. Forgot about that one, huh?

“Drat!”

“There must be some way for me to increase my height…”

Gee, if only you had a fully operational mechanical human suit just laying around.

“Hmm, let me think…”

“Don’t hurt yourself, Pinky.”

He is trying his best!

“Faster, Pinky! Faster!”

…Why does Pinky have to spin the thread? The whole point of sewing machines like this is that they’re powered electrically, Brain. Are you just making him do this so Pinky feels included?

Oh. Oh no…

Brain’s “WTF?” face is great. He’s surprised and yet not at the same time, because things like this just happen when you have Pinky around.

“You amaze me, Pinky.”

“I do my best…”

A very cute exchange.

So instead of using the mechanical human suit they usually fall back on in times like these (maybe it’s under six feet tall?), the mice instead come up with…this.

“Proceed, Pinky.”

I have to give them some credit, regardless of how ridiculous this is, as sewing denim to make a very bizarrely thin and tall pair of jeans must have been an absolute nightmare.

“Ki-yi-yippee-yi-yo. How do I look?”

I’m getting flashbacks to the similarly deadpan singing of “Camptown Races” from last episode. Brain’s really on a western kick lately, isn’t he?

“Oh, very nice, Brain!”

Your finger-framing may be focused on the back of Brain’s head for some reason, Pinky, but your pupils are definitely pointed a bit…lower.

“It’s ‘Bubba Bo Bob Brain’.”

“You are my manager, Colonel Pinky.”

This is a reference to Elvis Presley’s manager, Colonel Tom Parker, who was honestly quite the bungler when it came to managing Elvis’ career. I honestly don’t think Brain’s making a subtle jab at Pinky’s competency here for once because Brain’s grasp of pop culture he’s not already interested in is surface level at best most of the time.

“You discovered me playing the guitar on the front porch of my humble pig farm. Any questions?”

“Oh, just one: When you farm humble pigs, how far apart do you have to plant them?”

“…If I could reach you, I would hurt you.”

Hey now, you’re the one that asked, Brain.

“But for now, on to Nashville!”

“On to Nashville!”

BONK!

“This is a pain that is going to linger…”

That’s what you get for rolling your eyes at Pinky’s enthusiasm.

No perilous car trips this time! Instead, the boys are getting bus tickets to Nashville.

“Two tickets to Nashville, please.”

“Ooh-wee!~ You’re a tall drink a’ water, aint’cha, darlin’?”

…Ma’am? Excuse me, ma’am? Ma’am, are you flirting with The Brain?

Like, sorry, that “tall drink of water” saying is not just to point out that someone’s tall. It’s specifically for flirting with someone who is tall and gorgeous and a refreshing sight to see, like a tall glass of water on a hot summer day.

This lady is flirting with a mouse on stilt legs.

I know that Brain’s disguises are prone to inexplicably work even when by all rights they shouldn’t, but…

“Actually, I am a lab mouse on stilts.”

Brain does his usual bold and plain truth shtick and I’m a little surprised that he didn’t react to what she said beyond that. Then again, this is Brain and he’s quite terrible when talking to women in general, so maybe we dodged a bullet here.

“…At least he didn’t ask me to pull his finger.”

I’ve worked in retail and food service for years, ma’am, and if that’s the extent of your experience with unpleasant men, consider yourself lucky.

“EGAD, Bibby-boo-bop-Brain! Round trips are so exciting!”

“It’s ‘Bubba Bo Bob Brain’, Pinky.”

“Right! Sorry. Zort!”

Honestly, Pinky’s version is much cuter.

“Concentrate, Pinky, concentrate!”

BONK!

“YES! This pain will definitely be with me a while.”

Brain out here looking like a bad Minecraft texture.

Hello again, Warner Siblings! Gosh, that little fringed western skirt on Dot is cute.

“’The Rowdy Ranch Nightclub’… What are we doing here, Boobie-baa-baa-Brain?”

I checked the official subtitles for this and yes, that is exactly what he mistakenly calls Brain here. We have had both of these two call each other “boob” or some permutation of it this episode.

Pinky and the Brain sure is a show that exists.

“…It’s ‘Bubba Bo Bob’ Brain. And according to statistics, and inordinate number of country western superstars have gotten their start at this very establishment.”

You probably didn’t need me to tell you this, but there’s no Rowdy Ranch Nightclub in real life. There is, however, “The Rowdy Ranch”, uh, ranch in Texas.

“Egad! [gasp] Do you suppose Minnie Pearl performed here?”

“One can only hope…”

Man, Brain, you are really laying the sarcasm on thick this episode. Come to think of it, he’s been slightly more sassy towards Pinky than usual this episode as well. I suppose he’s still sore about the end of the last one. You know, for reasons.

BONK!

At least he’s getting some karmic punishment for it, I guess.

“I am a telephone repairman from this area!~”

This little ditty this man is singing has bugged the hell out of me for quite a while, as it certainly sounds like it’s a reference to something but I never knew exactly what it was referring to until just now thanks to an old Animaniacs Usenet group from way back in the day: It’s a parody of the song “Whichita Lineman” by Glenn Campbell. The writers are really giving it their all with the pop culture references this time.

“When I give the signal, play the subliminal message tape.”

“Right-o, Bippie Bebop Balloola!”

“…Sometimes you frighten me, Pinky.”

Why, though?! Despite it being a mistake it’s honestly a goddamn adorable one. Why must you fear affectionate, innocent, unknowing malapropisms, Brain? Pinky’s still going to do what you told him to.

Anyway, Brain is ushered onto the stage as a newcomer and he’s…not exactly any more eloquent than Pinky was just now.

“Howdy, you all. Here’s a little…ditty I wrote. Hope you enjoy it…you all.”

Here’s the thing: Brain’s not one to get stage fright, and while he’s not the best actor he’s still usually better than this. He was saying “ya’ll” and getting the country-isms perfectly fine beforehand, although he was still doing it in his deadpan Brain way.

Now, suddenly, after hearing Pinky cutely screw up his fake name and going on stage he’s starting to mess up. It’s like Pinky’s error is still in the back of his mind and flustering him enough to throw him off for a bit.

He gets back into the swing of things when he starts singing his song, though.

“I am a lab mouse, I escaped from my cage

Never had a job, never earned minimum wage.~”

“He ain’t half bad.”

“Ain’t half good, either.”

OUCH. That’s a little harsh. Sure, the lyrics are kinda blah but he’s a decent singer here. Really, it’s just not a genre of music that his voice fits very well.

Also, lady? You’ve got a suspiciously busty doppleganger in the back there. That’s got to be a bad omen for you.

“But you will respect me, YES, once my plan is unfurled!~

You will call me your leader, I’ll be king of the world!~”

Careful, Brain. Your complicated emotional complex is starting to show in those lyrics.

There’s some more nice facial expressions here too. I can’t really capture it with still images, but Brain’s got a very tender demeanor when he sings about being king of the world.

“Now, Pinky!”

…I just noticed that Pinky’s wearing a completely different outfit here at the nightclub than he was when boarding the bus to get to Nashville. He was previously in an all-white colonel outfit and now he’s in a more generic yet very sweet cowboy get-up. Did you make yourself an entire wardrobe, Pinky?

Another minor detail is that while Pinky’s cowboy hat is a generic tan colour (although before, it was white), Brain’s hat is completely black, which as per western film traditions marks him as a clear villain.

You and I know he’s not really a villain and is, at worst, an anti-villain…but I thought this was worth pointing out anyway.

“Citizens of the world, you are under my control. You will do whatever I say.”

I love how he does this completely unneeded strum on his guitar in the middle of his subliminal message. It's for the drama!

“Buy my record and listen to it twenty times a day.”

Corporations be like…

Who am I kidding? Corporations nowadays would have you pay a fee monthly to have a song on your phone playlist and you would never really own a copy.

“Let’s buy his record…”

“And listen to it twenty times a day…”

Lady, that doppleganger is still over there. Do you need a distraction while you sneak out the back?

This smug lil’ jerk. Gotta love him, though.

And so Brain’s cassette tapes fly off the shelves at record speed.

Man. Cassette tapes. I feel so fuckin’ old…

“I don’t know ‘bout ya’ll, but I can’t get enough of Bubba Bo Bob Brain. Let’s hear it again!”

JFC, that spittoon. Blegh! And just what do you need that rope for?!?

“Well, he’s the hottest thing to hit Nashville since my mama’s jalapeno grits! Here’s Bubba Bo Bob Brain!”

Having just recently learned what exactly “grits” is, I am very disturbed by the idea of jalapeno grits.

“I’m your biggest fan! What d’you say to that?”

Hi, Dolly Parton! I’ve gotta say that the animators nailed the caricature of 90s Dolly here pretty well. She’s instantly recognizable, unlike some other celebrity parodies Animaniacs does. It’s not just because of Dolly’s, uh…most renowned physical characteristics, either. That’s a very Dolly Parton smiling face.

Not much to say here other than that Dolly’s a sweetheart of a woman, from what I know about her, especially for a celebrity. She’s a staunch supporter of Covid relief and Black Lives Matter as well.

That said, she’s sadly—both in the 90s and now—most well known for…

“I’d say puberty was inordinately kind to you.”

BRAIN!

Well, yeah. That.

I guess now you can see what I mean about Brain not being very good at talking to women. Like, he’s definitely not ogling her here. In fact he’s just kind of…stating something he’s noticed and looking absolutely done with this whole celebrity thing. But Brain you don’t just make a joke like that about a woman’s bust size no matter how deadpan you do it, you ass!

“Haha, go on.”

She takes it well, though, just like Dolly seems to in reality.

Still, though! Brain, you retroactively deserved all those run-ins with doorframes.

Continuing on the buxom southern women thing this episode has decided to run with (seriously, what’s going on here?), we now have a brief parody of a Hee Haw skit.

“Hahahahaha!”

“Hey, Bubba Bo Bob Brain, I just got back from France!”

“How’d you find it?”

“I used a map.~”

“Hahahahaha!”

Yeah, that’s an accurate depiction of Hee Haw style humour.

“And the Country Tune Award for best male vocal goes to…”

“Bubba Bo Bob Brain!”

Here we have Garth Brooks and Crystal Gayle emceeing this awards ceremony. I had to look up who these two were supposed to be, though, since the caricatures are pretty vague this time.

“EGAD! YIPPEE! Narf! Ah hahahahahaha!”

Aww, he’s so happy for Brain! And oh, is that yet another outfit I see? And a much more appropriately sunshine-y yellow and flamboyant one at that! Pinky really went all-out for this.

Again with the tongue hanging out too, except this time it’s more understandable.

“You’re embarrassing me, Pinky.”

And you’re continuing to be a jerk, wow. Someone needs a nap or something.

“Pardon my effervescence, but your accolade is more than any bucolic mouse merits.”

“What’s he sayin’?”

“I don’t know.”

Yes, Brain just used the word “effervescence”, much like in that one Tumblr Twilight meme. To those reeling from the fact that this compares Edward to Brain via their shared pretentiousness: You’re welcome.

Also, a Brain-to-common English translation: “Pardon my bubbly enthusiasm, but your award is more than any countryside mouse deserves.” Would that have been so hard to say, Brain?

“…I’d like to thank my mama and Elvis.”

I wouldn’t thank Elvis. He was an asshole. But that’s probably not wise to say at a 90s country music award show, so I guess it’s understandable.

“Oh, how nice!”

“Well isn’t that nice!”

“I’m outside the Grand Ol’ Opry, where tonight’s concert featuring country music sensation ‘Bubba Bo Bob Brain’ is being televised worldwide.”

“In two words: Bubba is hot!”

I… That’s twice in this episode where a human woman thinks a tiny, big-headed mouse on stilts is hot.

Furries, come get these poor, confused women.

“You gotta know how to cut ‘em

Know how to shuffle

Know how to deal the cards, before you play Fish with me.~”

Hello, Kenny Rogers. I only know the song parodied here, “The Gambler”, again through “My Brother, My Brother and Me” and the long and hilarious conversation about it.

It’s kind of weird to have a song that was made famous by Rogers in 1978 sung like it’s a recent hit in an early 90s awards show, but ehh. Maybe the shelf life of hit country songs is a lot longer than songs of other genres.

And then you die in your sleep~

“Do you realize what will happen if the world hears my song just one more time?”

“An angel will get its wings?!”

If only, Pinky.

“NO, Pinky!”

I think all this country stuff is really getting on Brain’s nerves. He’s being snappy and irritable and lashing out an abnormal amount ever since arriving in Nashville, and there’s not a lot of joy in the minor successes he’s had so far. Like, compare Brain smiling and praising Pinky for his work during the alien encounter spoof they did together, the last episode with Brain cheerfully singing to himself when he was certain he’d win the race…to now where he’s yelling at Pinky for minor mistakes that no one but himself is aware of and being joyless and faking pleasantries and rolling his eyes at the country stars he’s surrounded by. This mouse is crabby as all hell, and I don’t think it’s just because he finds the whole country western thing stupid and below him. This is a mouse who’s done and will continue to do degrading things to achieve his goal of world domination without this much jerkishness.

I think he’s still fuming about the whole Pharfignewton and Pinky thing, and the current plan being a very rural, country-focused plan like the last one with the Kentucky Derby is just exacerbating it by reminding him of it. Like, you don’t even have to take it in the gay way I am and instead take it in a “how dare that goddamn horse take the complete attention of my friend/world domination partner away from me and my plans, this sucks and I can’t believe Pinky’s just being his usual dumbass self like everything is fine and the same” sort of way.

But the gay way makes way more sense, fight me.

…Okay, don’t fight me, I’m tired and old and I really don’t want to get in internet fights about cartoon mice.

“My subliminal message will take permanent hold, and the world will be under my control!”

Ooof! We’re back down to “my” control and not “our”. Jeez, Brain. You really are spiraling right now, aren’t you? Your attitude has quickly devolved from the beginning of this episode...

“Oh, that.”

And dang, even Pinky’s enthusiasm is starting to get deflated.

“Now, do you remember what you have to do?”

“Yes. I need to make a dental appointment. I have horrible plaque buildup!”

Pinky, you do realize that unlike a regular, non-sapient mouse you can just brush your teeth, right?

“The tape, Pinky, the TAPE!”

“Oooh, right! When you give the signal, I play the tape.”

“And now, I’d like to introduce…”

“This is it, I’m on.”

“Good luck, Booba Bip Bop Brain!”

Folks, I swear to you that I tried to get a decent screencap of Pinky slapping Brain to figure out if he slapped his back or his ass and for the life of me I could not get it. The slap goes by just that fast and I’d honestly have to go frame by frame if I wanted to get it, but my video player will not go that slow.

Either way, Brain is certainly startled by the contact but is fixated more on the continued mangling of his fake name.

“How many times do I have to tell you, my name is--!”

Uhh, Brain? Getting a liiiittle close there.

“—Bubba Bo Bob Brain!” exclaims Kenny Rogers. And oh boy are these screencaps exploitable. Again, you’re welcome.

“Yee-haw! Let’s start this hootenanny!”

Better than last time you came out on stage to sing at a show, at least.

This time the crowd even sings along with him, and they’re not even hypnotized yet. Much better.

“Now, Pinky!”

“You are under my control, you will do whatever I say…”

“I will do whatever he says… Whatever he says… Whatever he says… Whatever he says…”

A confusingly consistent detail here: Every woman in the crowd has swirly red hypnotized eyes and every man in the crowd has swirly green hypnotized eyes. Why? Who knows!

“Way to go, Blubber Boo Bean Brain. Narf!”

Heh, that hand flip.

It looks like Pinky is trying hard to suppress his verbal tic here for some reason? Or maybe he’s just realized that he’s messed up the name again and is cringing in anticipation of Brain yelling at him? Either way, poor guy… You really don’t deserve any of what’s coming.

And what’s coming? Well, given Brain’s heightened pissy attitude and his mental issues with not having things go exactly the way he wants them to, plus his obsessive need this episode to correct Pinky on this one thing that doesn’t need to even be addressed because no one else hears it, plus other repressed emotions…

“Do me a favour and forget my name. While you’re at it, forget you ever knew me!”

Holy shit.

…Now you fucked up, Brain. Now you fucked up.

Man, I hate the one thick facial hair on the dude in the middle. It’s so unsettling.

“Hey, who’s that skinny guy on stage?”

“Who is he?”

“Get him off!”

“Boo!”

“We wanna see someone famous!”

Yup. Look at what you did. You messed this up all because you were having a temper tantrum about Pinky messing up your stupid false name. You hang that head in shame. And you apologize to Pinky.

Later...

“Tonight’s inside story: A complete unknown somehow made it on to the stage at the Grand Ol’ Opry.”

“…Turn that off, Pinky.”

You know what? Keep it on for a bit, Pinky. Let Brain wallow in this humiliation just a bit more. He needs to have the lesson set in.

“I’m trying to concentrate on a better plan for tomorrow night.”

“Why, Brain? What are we going to do tomorrow night?”

“Same thing we do every night, Pinky:”

“Try to take over the world!”

Hey wait just a minute! You can’t just reuse this excellent ending from “Win Big” on this episode! Brain doesn’t yet deserve to get back to being cocky and determined after being such an ass!

Ahh well. He does get better, folks, I promise. This is just a rough patch. Brain is… He’s going through some things, I think. He’s not processing his emotions in a healthy way and it’s really coming back to bite him.

Listen, I understand this whole thing with Brain being extra grumpy and hostile after the whole Pinky dating Pharfignewton thing is largely coincidence. We don’t actually know what order these episodes were made in, after all, and the Animaniacs writers were not big on continuity.

Here’s the thing, though: I still find it fascinating that these episodes were aired one after the other…especially with a random cameo with Pinky and Brain disguised as a married couple in between. It makes for the beginning of a strange sort of arc that occasionally reminds us that, hey, these two mice are a duo and something is amiss when that duo is broken up or there is a strain put on that relationship.

I’ve read that after a while, network executives at the time tried to push for these mice to settle down and have families and for the skits and the eventual spin-off to largely abandon the whole world domination thing. They wanted it to be more sitcom-like to rival and imitate shows like The Simpsons.

That obviously doesn’t work. It can’t work. The writers, especially Peter Hastings, very much pushed back against the idea. When you have a duo of characters who fit together and play off one another so well, when the basic premise of a story is of a pair of characters working together to achieve a goal, and when those characters just mesh so perfectly and basically complete one another…trying to add another main character just puts the entire story completely out of wack and/or changes it into something unrecognizable. You can add reoccurring characters off to the side, sure. You can have a nemesis or two pop up and return every now and again. But with something like Pinky and the Brain where the main story is a small pair against incredible odds working towards a singular goal, disrupting that core relationship is going to cause a domino effect that will ruin the whole thing.

All this to say that I like this approach that’s going on here much more, even if it was completely unintended by the creative team: There is the element added of Pinky, off-screen, dating someone. It’s not something that’s brought up a lot and whenever it is brought up, Brain is irritated. We’ve seen at the end of the last episode where this development was introduced that Brain is unusually snappy, and now in the next episode he continues to be angry more often than he was before. It’s a more subtle and smooth way of seeing how these characters react if something or someone threatens to come between them, in a way that doesn’t immediately break the entire premise to pieces. Of course, it helps that Pharfignewton is…largely absent for all this and is only brought up every now and again. It’s not a perfect way to explore this kind of thing, but it’s preferable when compared to something like Pinky, Elymra, and The Brain.

However, after this episode Brain’s temper begins to de-escalate, and we won’t pick back up on this accidental “arc” for a few episodes. So to folks who are maybe a little bit bummed out about his behaviour here: don’t worry. We’re getting quite the breather next time with a very odd alternate universe skit courtesy of the Warner Siblings  messing around with character placement, as well as an entire Animaniacs episode devoted to a Pinky and the Brain skit…fantasy style!

[lokidrabbles]

Across Time (Loki x Reader)

Loki reminisces about Sigyn and his current relationship with Reader

A/N: This is also mildly setup as a Loki x Sigyn story, but it is more used as a device for Loki’s perception of his present relationship. As always, Gender Neutral reader! Hope you all enjoy!

Warnings: Some implied smut, fluff n’ stuff

The young prince leaned against the marble column, arms crossed over his chest in a sheer display of disinterest. The large hall in which he stood was inhabited with a variety of Asgardians of all ages and trades, eagerly involved in the splendor of food, music, magic and chatter. While large festivities weren’t foreign to him, that being one of Odin’s sons, he felt out of place. This wasn’t your average conjoining of individuals, for this was Thor’s day of birth, and Odin had made sure his eldest son received every single demand and desire he voiced out.

Thor’s entourage involved the Warriors Three, a loud bunch of individuals who felt forced to involve Loki in their little shenanigans, Lady Sif, a woman too serious for her own good, and other belligerent Asgardians who drank and ate mercilessly. Thor was in the middle of it all, letting out a roaring laughter, blatantly drunk and uncaring of the spectacle he was making of himself. Everyone at the gathering cheered and clapped at Thor’s ongoing display of strength and cockiness, causing Loki to roll his eyes, embarrassed at how this man could ever be considered his brother.

He was content however. It was seldom when Odin allowed Thor to fully be his reckless self without reprimanding him on his role as the eldest prince, and Loki knew his brother better than anyone else. Thor needed these foolish events as to not collapse under the pressure of his royal duties, and so Loki only humored him from a distance.

From the corner of his eye, Loki caught a slender figure slowly approaching him, already recognizing her long golden locks and her habit of holding her hands behind her back when near him.

“My prince.” She began, curtsying before him.

“Lady Sigyn.” Loki replied, bowing his head in recognition. “How are you enjoying the merriment?”

“Oh it is quite wonderful. My family is so very thankful for the Allfather to have invited us.” She said softly, positioning herself next to him. “Although now I see how different both you and Prince Thor are.”

Sigyn belonged to a noble family, and the rumors had spread out of the possibility of Odin seeking her father’s approval to marry one of his sons. All clues suggested for Loki to be her suitor, as Thor would probably scare her off with his boasting nature.

Loki chuckled. “Yes quite. My brother takes much to Odin in the same way I take to my mother. Though irritating at times, it can be quite amusing seeing him make a fool of himself.”

“Oh, Prince Loki. You shouldn’t say that about your brother.” She replied jestingly. “ Though I do recall the one time he had passed out on top of the entire desert table. A lot of the nobles weren’t to happy about that.”

“Ah yes! That was indeed hilarious. Father had single-handedly dragged him to his quarters by his ankle. He was absolutely furious that next morning, and I did not envy Thor one bit.”

She let out a gentle laughter, causing Loki’s heart to flutter briefly. Both Loki and Sigyn were introduced to each other as young adolescents with prospects of them bonding and forming a tight knit relationship. Sigyn, like Loki, had studied under her family to master the art of seidr. Their first conversations involved talking about the mystic magic, comparing their abilities and attempting to teach each other what they have learned. Sigyn focused on healing abilities, spells which would replenish one’s energy and stamina, while Loki would learn a variety of defensive and offensive spells from Frigga. They complemented each other in abilities, and matched in their calm nature, drawn towards literature and increasing their knowledge base.

One would argue it was a perfect marriage in the making. As Loki grew older, he found himself naturally attracted to Sigyn’s blossoming. She had grown to be a beautiful woman, adorned with wavy locks, beautiful brown eyes and soft, sienna colored skin. She was kind and gentle, but also very confident with herself and with her abilities. While the deal was still to be sealed, both did share hidden kisses and intimate touches behind corridors, away from eavesdropping guards. At times, the thrill of seeing her and perhaps teasing her by playing with her hair or placing a hand at the small of her back was all he could think of. He pondered about a possibility like that playing out now.

“My prince, I take it you have something else in your mind?” She asked as a coy, pink lipped smile formed.

“Perhaps.” He said teasingly. “I admit, I was beginning to wonder what had taken you so long to approach me Lady Sigyn. Could it be possible you’ve grown bored of me?”

“My prince!” She sounded offended. “What could ever give you that idea? I was simply waiting for the attention to be drawn to Prince Thor. And since it is so, shall we meet by the balcony to discuss our affairs more appropriately?”

“How bold of you my lady. Quite inappropriate to be talking to a prince in such a sultry manner.”

She playfully shoved his shoulder, to which he responded with a cocky wink. “Shame on you. But alas, I shall retreat to said balcony all by my lonesome self.”

Loki lowered his head to kiss Sigyn’s forehead, knowing his duty would be to protect her and provide her with the care she so desired. “I shall meet you there soon enough my lady.”

She curtsied again, a flush of pink present in her cheeks. Sigyn soon disappeared behind the columns, far into the depth of the palace. Loki smirked to himself as a comforting warmness filled his chest. Was this love? Or perhaps just the excitement that his youth years would blind him to. He knew sooner or later, both Odin and Sigyn’s father would come to an agreement, and Loki would become her betrothed.

He once had a conversation about the possibility with Frigga. Who best to provide Loki with sound judgement to determine if Sigyn would indeed be a good wife? As any young Asgardian would, Loki shared his uncertainties with his mother. He understood the duty he would uptake once as a married man, while still addressing his duties as Odin’s son.

It seemed to make the most sense, and it was almost expected at this point. Loki and Sigyn simply got along well, they were both skilled and highly intelligent, and both came from nobility. The union of their families would make for some very powerful heirs, which was always an interest for Odin. Yet, the sense of doubt naturally picked at him. He was still young, and arguably inexperienced. Love, while the concept not foreign to him, was a new experience, and Loki wasn’t sure whether this was what he felt for Sigyn.

Frigga, knowing her son best, provided Loki with words of encouragement, for which he forever continued to carry with him.

“Trust your intuition Loki. Perceive your happiness with them, as the best blessing a partner can offer you is the opportunity to grow beside them. I believe in you, my son.”

Both Loki and Sigyn soon became engaged, and for a brief moment in his long life, Loki felt as his everything had fallen correctly into place.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Ugh. Come on.”

Loki popped one eye open upon hearing your groan. You had propped yourself up against your pillow, texting away furiously on the bright screen of your phone. The light was absolutely blinding, especially in the middle of the night. He blinked and squinted, catching how you had knitted your eyebrows together. You were rightfully annoyed, and he deducted you must have been awakened by the beeping of your device.

“Who has upset my dearest?” He asked, covering his eyes with his hand.

“Tony wants me to go in tomorrow for some maintenance crap. I’m telling him to stop messaging me in the middle of the night.” You responded, voice still groggy.

He made a disapproving sound. “I am not eager about Stark having contact with you so frequently. He’s a fool, and now he has disturbed my slumber with you.”

You tossed your phone by your dresser and pulled the sheets up to your face. You scooted closer to Loki, nuzzling your face into the crook of his neck. Loki’s body responded, soon placing his arm around your waist, hand resting on the small of your back.

“He’s my boss, his money pays my bills. But yes he’s stupid.” You muttered under the sheets.

“You have no idea how much I enjoy hearing you insult him.” He chuckled lowly. “You certainly have way with words.”

“Also, if I would have never gotten hired by him, I would have never met you. So technically-”

He shushed you immediately. “No. Do not dare say Stark’s intervention brought us together. I’d like to believe it was simply meant to be due to my charm and charisma.”

You snorted, your breath tickling the skin on his neck. “Fine, fine. I won’t say it. I gotta admit tho, you look super cute whenever you get upset by that.”

“Then it is no wonder why you always seem to infuriate me.”

You both laid together quietly, your soft breaths beginning to lull Loki back into that blissful comfort. His arm continued to be looped around your waist, bringing a deep, inward sense of protectiveness. You were small compared to him, yet it had come to a point where he needed to feel your body closer to his, clinging onto him for security. It was bizarre. He knew his past self would have never dreamed of the day where he would lay in bed with a human, much less have an intimate relationship with a human. The prospect was very difficult to accept at first, especially considering the circumstances of how he had settled down on Midgard. Despite this, Loki weirdly felt as if this made the most sense to him. The planet he swore to conquer almost a decade ago, now became his home. The humans, which he swore to conquer, had now accepted him to some degree. And now, he proudly called one of these humans as his own. This foolish human who had presented him with kindness, genuineness and often made him upset at the foolish comments they would make.

He relished in your touch, and how soft your skin felt. He found himself always seeking out your touch. There was a contrasting difference between human and Asgardian skin. Human skin always felt much more delicate and thinner, while Asgardians tended to have tougher and firmer skin. Your skin would bruise easily, especially if his grip would become harsh. He sadistically liked this, feeling as if he could easily mark you at any moment, claiming territory on this small Midgardian. He mindlessly began to make circles in the small of your back, feeling the shivers spread all over.

He smiled to himself once he felt your own arms loop under his arms, circling his broad chest. You picked your head out from under his chin, and reached up to plant a sleepy kiss upon his lips. A blessing for him. Your lips were much too tender for him to bear, and he kissed and suckled on them in return.

You giggled and pulled back from him briefly. “I need to sleep but I don’t want to anymore now.”

“Oh? Any particular reason?” He asked, smile still displayed.

“Yes. I just really want to get on top of you now. And maybe kiss you all over.”

He hummed approvingly. “I don’t have any reason to stop you. You have laid claim to me already, human.”

Eagerly, you removed your hold and climbed over him, your thighs tightly at his hips. He adjusted himself, just enough so he could ensure his grip on your waist would be secure. You lowered down to his face, peppering it all over with fleeting kisses and pecks. You ended on his lips again, this time kissing deeper and passionately, leaving Loki practically breathless. At times your displays of affection were overwhelming. Humans were always so physical with each other, and always giving themselves into that intense gratification. it was years and years since Loki experienced this type of fondness and the lustful pleasure of feeling someone on top of him. He was undeniably attracted to you, his little human, who proved their worth by his side. Tongues soon clashed with one another, and Loki groaned into your mouth, already feeling his blood rush into his core.

He halted however, knowing you would be reprimanded the following day if you stayed up the entire night. He hated Stark, but he also didn’t want to jeopardize your working relationship with him.

“Sweetling, although I would love nothing more than to fuck you right now, perhaps it is wiser for you to get some rest.”

Even Loki could see your childish pout through the dim light of the window. “I hate it when you’re right.” You said, laying your head on his chest in defeat.

He leaned inward and planted a reassuring kiss at the top of your head. “Once you are done with your duties tomorrow, we can resume our intimacy in the evening.”

You rolled off of him, still laying close by his side, arms clinging onto his chest. “Knowing myself though, I might annoy you about it in the morning instead.”

“Then sleep now. And I promise you will be awakened by a very pleasant surprise.”

The rest of the night continued, and soon Loki felt you doze off into deep sleep. He remained awake, as he always did, until you were fully resting. He focused his attention still to the weight of your arm over his chest, slowly caressing your hand with his. Loki began to feel his eyelids droop, slowly drawing back to a familiar memory, and a familiar set of words which he had forgotten about long ago.

He felted blessed with you. And his intuition affirmed it every single day.

[emisfritish]

So as someone who claims to be one of @yihwa closest friends and is all buddy-buddy with her, are you going to address the bulluying she's been doing to other blogs or are you going to stay silent and keep reblogging posts about shows no one cares about but you ? You usually love mansplaining and patronizing others in your posts, why silent now ?

Oh anon, anon, my dear anon. 

I was trying SO BAD to keep my 2021 resolution of focusing on positivity and only interacting with people I genuinely like and respect on this website, why must you bring me back kicking and screaming with the most random ask I’ve received in a while ? Why would you do something so brave (as brave as sending an anon can be anyway), yet so stupid ? You realize I’m a pretty small blog right ? So what do you hope to accomplish by this, exactly ? 

But you know... Fine, I guess. I’ll answer. 

First off let’s get this out of the way, because it’s going to bother me the entire response if I don’t. Mansplaining ?

Like a+ for efforts on shading me, but please look up the meaning of the word.

Realistically, I probably do many things that are too much and/or annoy people (I speak way too much for one, I’ll admit that). But mansplaining isn’t one of them since, you know I... lack key equipment to even be able to mansplain, what with me not being a man and all... 

But anyway, I think I got what you meant, so let’s move on from this. 

I’ll admit I’m mega confused as to why I’m receiving such an ask seeing as :

I have purposefully stayed away from this whole thing even when it was actually hurting a person I adore, specefically because I didn’t want the feeling of ‘being ganged up on’ to grow even deeper for some people involved. 

Axelle and I aren’t close by any means, but as two of the french people in this fandom, we have spoken on occasion and I would hope that if she had some issue with me or wanted to talk about all of this, she would have come directly to me. I know I certainly would have with her, in any case. 

You are right about one thing though, anon. @yihwas and I are very close friends (and please if you people are going to keep dragging her name, can you at least spell it right ? Between you not spelling her url correctly and the people calling her Sophie, I’m losing it here). Sophia’s a queen, I love her and we talk every day. 

Me staying out of this until now in spite of everything that was being said about her and how protective I can be of my friends was entirely out of me trying to be considerate for other people’s feelings (especially when said feelings appear to be so hurt already that the person is fully delving into conspiracy theories and imagining evil plots against her), and because I didn’t believe that constructive conversation could go on under such circumstances. I was genuinely trying to be kind and as non-judgemental as possible. 

With you dragging me into this in the most random way though, I’ll bite. 

I’ve stayed silent up until now, but I do actually agree with most of the criticism that’s been made. I wasn’t about to pile on to what was already going on and worsen the situation and hurt feelings, but I do. Had I believed that talking about those issues in this moment could have led to self-reflection and an open conversation, I would have definitely done so long ago by talking directly to the person involved, because I do believe that some of the things mentioned in all the posts that have gone around can genuinely be seen as problematic. 

More importantly though ? It doesn’t really matter what I personally believe. 

@teh-ohaew said it way better than I could, so please feel free to go and read this post. To sum it up though ? It doesn’t really matter what was intended or not in those posts/tags, it doesn’t matter if you’re the best ally there is : If several people in a community (no matter which one) are telling you that some things you said/did could be seen as offensive, then the only decent thing to really do in this situation is to listen, think it over, and try to reflect before apologizing if necessary.

It’s important, we’ve all had to do it at some point in our lives with the different people we interact with, and it’s how we evolve and grow as people. 

This leads to something else, which is something that deeply bothered me by reading some of the posts going around : there seems to be a misconception that what is being perceived as offensive/problematic is an opinion only shared by Sophia, Shannon and Morgan, and that they’re somewhat leading or pushing other people into sending messages (either on anon or not). Do you guys realize how patronizing and offensive this sounds ?

People are not sheep ready to be led by whoever screams the loudest, has the most followers, or whatever other reason you may have come up with. People can think for themselves and decide of their actions by themselves. God knows I hate how mob-mentality works on tumblr sometimes, but that is not what’s at play here. What’s at play is several different people who may have never interacted before thinking the same thing, and deciding to address the issue.

Sophia and I are indeed great friends, but one of the things I love the most about our friendship is that we can disagree on things (and have in the past), discuss them like the adults we are and move on from there, with both of us coming out of the discussion with a maybe different perspective than the one we had before talking to each other about the issue. In fact when all of this started, Sophia and I did talk about one of the posts in particular and I didn’t necessarily see everything the same way she did, and guess what ? She still loves me ;) 

If that’s the case for me, why wouldn’t it be the case for Shannon and Morgan ? @yihwas  @1akorn and  @minghao-ah are all different people, with different experiences and different thoughts, as are all the people that have spoken out about this issue. Can we stop pretending like they share one brain and aren’t capable of critical thinking by themselves ? Can we stop pretending that sophia is the big bad wolf sending people over to terrorize others, like it was implied in some posts ?

So to answer your question anon, and before anyone goes on thinking that I’ve been brainwashed or am putting this out there only to defend my friend or whatever other theory you may come up with : No, I wasn’t going to say anything about the situation. Not only because there is no bulluying going around, but also because Sophia is Sophia and I am me. I’ve never needed anyone to think for me and neither has Sophia, and we can each behave how we please on our own blogs. 

As you were trying to point out with your frankly hilarious misuse of the word mansplaining, I have no issues expressing my thoughts through posts and neither does Sophia. Both of us (and every one now involved in this) are individuals fully capable of thinking for ourselves, and pretending that three people are causing many others to speak out (and therefore ignoring the initial message being spoken out) is doing a disservice to everyone involved in this issue. 

I’ll finish with one last point, because it’s almost 2:30 AM, I have to work tomorrow and I am tired and frustrated at having been dragged into this when I was trying to be considerate by not saying anything : can we please stop using the words bullying and harrassment out of context and throwing them out there whenever we feel like it ? That’s incredibly harmful to the people actually suffering from those issues, and it’s behaviour like this one which allows those words to lose their meaning and become normalized. 

There isn’t an evil plot at play to try to drive people off of tumblr or whatever else some of you may be thinking, so please let’s come back down to earth and try to talk about all of this like adults.

Now if you don’t mind anon, it’s getting pretty late and I’m pretty tired after writing this novel. So I’ll just go back to trying to keep my blog a positive place like I’ve been doing for the past couple of months, and reblogging posts about shows no one cares about but me, as you’ve perfectly said :) 

I hope you have a good day/night, a good week to come, and a good life. Please let’s never interact again !

[ctl-yuejie]

Finally managed to add the translation for the second actor interview from the showing of Long Time No See at the Seoul Pride Film Festival

Disclaimer: This translation got a bit messy and I am not 100% content with it , but the video went unsubbed so here you go. I really liked and enjoyed his answers, especially the process of him creating Gitae and the behind the scenes info on the kissing and sex scenes were pretty interesting. Enjoy!

(You can find the translation with time stamps in the comments of the linked video)

YSH: Hello, I’m Yeon Seung-ho, who plays the role of „Wild Dog“. I’ve seen the movie for the second time today and while I do not know how everyone else has perceived it, it has been the product of hard work from the actors, the director and staff members, so I'd like to advertise it having that in mind.

(Conversation with the LTNS audience at the 7th Seoul Pride Film Festival -Actor Yeon Seungho-)

MC: Since the work is noir while also being a queer movie and you have to both use your body well and act emotionally, it must have seemed like a difficult role after receiving the script.

Question:  - Wasn't it difficult to transform into “Wild Dog” for the play? -

YSH: First of all, because I had to show totally different looks, I acted a little bit brighter in the beginning, and I don’t know if it was noticeable, but I thought that I had to be cuter and more flirty. In fact, the question was whether to break that bright character gradually over time, or to break it at once. However, with such a concept, in my case, I wanted to go the unexpected way and break that bright image at once and appealed to the director to do it that way. The director understood that, so I tried to act it out in that way.

Question: -How was the action scene shooting? -

YSH: I actually got hit more often than I expected, and since I wore short sleeves, shooting the action scenes meant that I got many bruises on my arms.

MC: If you don’t calculate correctly, you might get hit for real...

YSH: That’s why you might see some bruises on my arms earlier on. My lips got hurt constantly and our first and second shoots were actions scenes. It was very difficult for us to try and not get each other hurt. In my case, one action scene didn’t get used.

MC: That must be disappointing as an actor.

YSH: Yes, it just didn’t get used.

Question:  - What emotions did you face in order to act out same sex love -

YSH: You might know this, but we had more skin ship scenes than expected. In the original work there are only few kisses and hardly any skinship scenes.  Later on, we also did more adlibs. What used to get communicated by talking, turned into something happening between us and us falling in love. And as we were being in love and as conflict started to develop, just thinking about what normal people in love would do, we went with the flow.  When ordinary couples are together with just the two of them they feel like they want to kiss. Like the scene at the train tracks, we express the naturalness in those parts, and try to show a little bit the everyday as a homosexual person. Rather than showing who is different in those parts, we hoped to illuminate daily love, so I tried to use more of my skills and make an effort to make it seem as if Chisu was my first love, even if I don’t know if I succeeded in that.

MC: When you shoot kissing scenes or love scenes it must feel strange in the beginning and you might not know how to express yourself, but once you shoot it two times, three times and you get more comfortable, you might start to play around a bit. Did something like that happen?

YSH: To be honest, as I said earlier, we were at a point where we could do adlibs for skinship scenes, so I it was easier to do kissing scenes. When we shot the love scene it was my first time.  Not in real life though.

MC: I thought you might say that it was your first in real life, so I fretted where to tell you to lie, that’s why I said it like that.

YSH:It wasn’t my first time in real life, it was my first time shooting a love scene.

MC: With another sex or same sex, it was your first love scene.

YSH: It was my first time doing such a scene.

MC humorous: It was obvious that you got angry at me insinuating you were lying.* I am sorry. 

YSH: Thinking about how the love scenes should go, how and what I should prepare, there was nothing I could prepare.  I was going to do it, but instead of thinking about how the love scene would look like, Woo Seok Hyung’s breathing was very heavy (laughs) and I always minded about my shaving. It was really prickly. Usually, I can do what I’m told, but since there were these experiences it’s like a realized something new.

Question:  - Why did “Wild Dog” become a killer? -

YSH: In the original work there wasn’t a particular reason given as to why he became a killer, so I analyzed the character myself and when I created the character I thought about me and my sister’s relationship as “Wild Dog” and I got a little bit informed by how close we were and how we were living. 

Both our parents aren’t there anymore, my sister has raised me lovingly and even if the situation at home wasn’t as difficult, we are not living in abundance, so “Wild Dog” always seems to feel guilty about that.  I feel sorry for my sister so I do whatever I am asked to.  The only parts of my childhood shown in the movie is what happened at around the third year of high school, but my sister also understood what had happened without any words.  Even so, while I said that I love my family, there was a time where “Wild Dog” wandered around, and must have become twisted during that time.  People in the dark meet shady people so while I lived my normal days with my sister, if there was a need I worked as a killer.  It comes out in Taesan Seonbaenim’s (black panther) line as well: “I need a killer without a face”. Because of that I looked at the original work, took those parts together and created “Wild Dog” as a character who had lived such a live.

In the original work there are many parts where there is strong messaging.

It is a bit philosophic, but I chose this project because it is a movie concerning human rights -  or more particularly- it is a movie including a message about LGBTI people. Once many people watch it, I hope that they will focus on those parts when doing so.

In the future, as an actor, I will see you soon with other works and show you good appearances.

Thank you very much.

*„거짓말이라고 화낼 뻔 했어요.“ 03:28-03:30

This one threw me for a loop tbh and is the biggest reason I took so long. I think this is what the emcee meant by that. Their banter during this part was silly, so I think it does fit in context but I am not 100% sure.

[path-of-my-childhood]

The Rolling Stone Interview: Taylor Swift

By: Brian Hiatt for The Rolling Stone Magazine Date: September 18th 2019

In her most in-depth and introspective interview in years, Swift tells all about the rocky road to 'Lover' and much, much more.

Taylor Swift bursts into her mom’s Nashville kitchen, smiling, looking remarkably like Taylor Swift. (That red-lip, classic thing? Check.) “I need someone to help dye my hair pink,” she says, and moments later, her ends match her sparkly nail polish, sneakers, and the stripes on her button-down. It’s all in keeping with the pastel aesthetic of her new album, Lover; black-leather combat-Taylor from her previous album cycle has handed back the phone. Around the black-granite kitchen island, all is calm and normal, as Swift’s mom, dad, and younger brother pass through. Her mom’s two dogs, one very small, one very large, pounce upon visitors with slurping glee. It could be any 29-year-old’s weekend visit with her parents, if not for the madness looming a few feet down the hall.

In an airy terrace, 113 giddy, weepy, shaky, still-in-disbelief fans are waiting for the start of one of Swift’s secret sessions, sacred rituals in Swift-dom. She’s about to play them her seventh album, as-yet unreleased on this Sunday afternoon in early August, and offer copious commentary. Also, she made cookies. Just before the session, Swift sits down in her mom’s study (where she “operates the Google,” per her daughter) to chat for a few minutes. The black-walled room is decorated with black-and-white classic-rock photos, including shots of Bruce Springsteen and, unsurprisingly, James Taylor; there are also more recent shots of Swift posing with Kris Kristofferson and playing with Def Leppard, her mom’s favorite band.

In a corner is an acoustic guitar Swift played as a teenager. She almost certainly wrote some well-known songs on it, but can’t recall which ones. “It would be kind of weird to finish a song and be like, ‘And this moment, I shall remember,’'” she says, laughing. “‘This guitar hath been anointed with my sacred tuneage!'”

The secret session itself is, as the name suggests, deeply off-the-record; it can be confirmed that she drank some white wine, since her glass pops up in some Instagram pictures. She stays until 5 a.m., chatting and taking photos with every one of the fans. Five hours later, we continue our talk at length in Swift’s Nashville condo, in almost exactly the same spot where we did one of our interviews for her 2012 Rolling Stone cover story. She’s hardly changed its whimsical decor in the past seven years (one of the few additions is a pool table replacing the couch where we sat last time), so it’s an old-Taylor time capsule. There’s still a huge bunny made of moss in one corner, and a human-size birdcage in the living room, though the view from the latter is now of generic new condo buildings instead of just distant green hills. Swift is barefoot now, in pale-blue jeans and a blue button-down tied at the waist; her hair is pulled back, her makeup minimal.

How to sum up the past three years of Taylor Swift? In July 2016, after Swift expressed discontent with Kanye West’s “Famous,” Kim Kardashian did her best to destroy her, unleashing clandestine recordings of a phone conversation between Swift and West. In the piecemeal audio, Swift can be heard agreeing to the line “…me and Taylor might still have sex.” We don’t hear her learning about the next lyric, the one she says bothered her — “I made that bitch famous” — and as she’ll explain, there’s more to her side of the story. The backlash was, well, swift, and overwhelming. It still hasn’t altogether subsided. Later that year, Swift chose not to make an endorsement in the 2016 election, which definitely didn’t help. In the face of it all, she made Reputation — fierce, witty, almost-industrial pop offset by love songs of crystalline beauty — and had a wildly successful stadium tour. Somewhere in there, she met her current boyfriend, Joe Alwyn, and judging by certain songs on Lover, the relationship is serious indeed.

Lover is Swift’s most adult album, a rebalancing of sound and persona that opens doors to the next decade of her career; it’s also a welcome return to the sonic diversity of 2012’s Red, with tracks ranging from the St. Vincent-assisted über-bop “Cruel Summer” to the unbearably poignant country-fied “Soon You’ll Get Better” (with the Dixie Chicks) and the “Shake It Off”-worthy pep of “Paper Rings.”

She wants to talk about the music, of course, but she is also ready to explain the past three years of her life, in depth, for the first time. The conversation is often not a light one. She’s built up more armor in the past few years, but still has the opposite of a poker face — you can see every micro-emotion wash over her as she ponders a question, her nose wrinkling in semi-ironic offense at the term “old-school pop stars,” her preposterously blue eyes glistening as she turns to darker subjects. In her worst moments, she says, “You feel like you’re being completely pulled into a riptide. So what are you going to do? Splash a lot? Or hold your breath and hope you somehow resurface? And that’s what I did. And it took three years. Sitting here doing an interview — the fact that we’ve done an interview before is the only reason I’m not in a full body sweat.”

When we talked seven years ago, everything was going so well for you, and you were very worried that something would go wrong. Yeah, I kind of knew it would. I felt like I was walking along the sidewalk, knowing eventually the pavement was going to crumble and I was gonna fall through. You can’t keep winning and have people like it. People love “new” so much — they raise you up the flagpole, and you’re waving at the top of the flagpole for a while. And then they’re like, “Wait, this new flag is what we actually love.” They decide something you’re doing is incorrect, that you’re not standing for what you should stand for. You’re a bad example. Then if you keep making music and you survive, and you keep connecting with people, eventually they raise you a little bit up the flagpole again, and then they take you back down, and back up again. And it happens to women more than it happens to men in music.

It also happened to you a few times on a smaller scale, didn’t it? I’ve had several upheavals in my career. When I was 18, they were like, “She doesn’t really write those songs.” So my third album I wrote by myself as a reaction to that. Then they decided I was a serial dater — a boy-crazy man-eater — when I was 22. And so I didn’t date anyone for, like, two years. And then they decided in 2016 that absolutely everything about me was wrong. If I did something good, it was for the wrong reasons. If I did something brave, I didn’t do it correctly. If I stood up for myself, I was throwing a tantrum. And so I found myself in this endless mockery echo chamber. It’s just like — I have a brother who’s two and a half years younger, and we spent the first half of our lives trying to kill each other and the second half as best friends. You know that game kids play? I’d be like, “Mom, can I have some water?” And Austin would be like, “Mom, can I have some water?” And I’m like, “He’s copying me.” And he’d be like, “He’s copying me.” Always in a really obnoxious voice that sounds all twisted. That’s what it felt like in 2016. So I decided to just say nothing. It wasn’t really a decision. It was completely involuntary.

But you also had good things happen in your life at the same time — that’s part of Reputation. The moments of my true story on that album are songs like “Delicate,” “New Year’s Day,” “Call It What You Want,” “Dress.” The one-two punch, bait-and-switch of Reputation is that it was actually a love story. It was a love story in amongst chaos. All the weaponized sort of metallic battle anthems were what was going on outside. That was the battle raging on that I could see from the windows, and then there was what was happening inside my world — my newly quiet, cozy world that was happening on my own terms for the first time. . . . It’s weird, because in some of the worst times of my career, and reputation, dare I say, I had some of the most beautiful times — in my quiet life that I chose to have. And I had some of the most incredible memories with the friends I now knew cared about me, even if everyone hated me. The bad stuff was really significant and damaging. But the good stuff will endure. The good lessons — you realize that you can’t just show your life to people.

Meaning? I used to be like a golden retriever, just walking up to everybody, like, wagging my tail. “Sure, yeah, of course! What do you want to know? What do you need?” Now, I guess, I have to be a little bit more like a fox.

Do your regrets on that extend to the way the “girl squad” thing was perceived? Yeah, I never would have imagined that people would have thought, “This is a clique that wouldn’t have accepted me if I wanted to be in it.” Holy shit, that hit me like a ton of bricks. I was like, “Oh, this did not go the way that I thought it was going to go.” I thought it was going to be we can still stick together, just like men are allowed to do. The patriarchy allows men to have bro packs. If you’re a male artist, there’s an understanding that you have respect for your counterparts.

Whereas women are expected to be feuding with each other? It’s assumed that we hate each other. Even if we’re smiling and photographed together with our arms around each other, it’s assumed there’s a knife in our pocket.

How much of a danger was there of falling into that thought pattern yourself? The messaging is dangerous, yes. Nobody is immune, because we’re a product of what society and peer groups and now the internet tells us, unless we learn differently from experience.

You once sang about a star who “took the money and your dignity, and got the hell out.” In 2016, you wrote in your journal, “This summer is the apocalypse.” How close did you come to quitting altogether? I definitely thought about that a lot. I thought about how words are my only way of making sense of the world and expressing myself — and now any words I say or write are being twisted against me. People love a hate frenzy. It’s like piranhas. People had so much fun hating me, and they didn’t really need very many reasons to do it. I felt like the situation was pretty hopeless. I wrote a lot of really aggressively bitter poems constantly. I wrote a lot of think pieces that I knew I’d never publish, about what it’s like to feel like you’re in a shame spiral. And I couldn’t figure out how to learn from it. Because I wasn’t sure exactly what I did that was so wrong. That was really hard for me, because I cannot stand it when people can’t take criticism. So I try to self-examine, and even though that’s really hard and hurts a lot sometimes, I really try to understand where people are coming from when they don’t like me. And I completely get why people wouldn’t like me. Because, you know, I’ve had my insecurities say those things — and things 1,000 times worse.

But some of your former critics have become your friends, right? Some of my best friendships came from people publicly criticizing me and then it opening up a conversation. Hayley Kiyoko was doing an interview and she made an example about how I get away with singing about straight relationships and people don’t give me shit the way they give her shit for singing about girls — and it’s totally valid. Like, Ella — Lorde — the first thing she ever said about me publicly was a criticism of my image or whatever. But I can’t really respond to someone saying, “You, as a human being, are fake.” And if they say you’re playing the victim, that completely undermines your ability to ever verbalize how you feel unless it’s positive. So, OK, should I just smile all the time and never say anything hurts me? Because that’s really fake. Or should I be real about how I’m feeling and have valid, legitimate responses to things that happened to me in my life? But wait, would that be playing the victim?

How do you escape that mental trap? Since I was 15 years old, if people criticized me for something, I changed it. So you realize you might be this amalgamation of criticisms that were hurled at you, and not an actual person who’s made any of these choices themselves. And so I decided I needed to live a quiet life, because a quiet personal life invites no discussion, dissection, and debate. I didn’t realize I was inviting people to feel they had the right to sort of play my life like a video game.

“The old Taylor can’t come to the phone right now. Why? Because she’s dead!” was funny — but how seriously should we take it? There’s a part of me that definitely is always going to be different. I needed to grow up in many ways. I needed to make boundaries, to figure out what was mine and what was the public’s. That old version of me that shares unfailingly and unblinkingly with a world that is probably not fit to be shared with? I think that’s gone. But it was definitely just, like, a fun moment in the studio with me and Jack [Antonoff] where I wanted to play on the idea of a phone call — because that’s how all of this started, a stupid phone call I shouldn’t have picked up.

It would have been much easier if that’s what you’d just said. It would have been so, so great if I would have just said that [laughs].

Some of the Lover iconography does suggest old Taylor’s return, though. I don’t think I’ve ever leaned into the old version of myself more creatively than I have on this album, where it’s very, very autobiographical. But also moments of extreme catchiness and moments of extreme personal confession.

Did you do anything wrong from your perspective in dealing with that phone call? Is there anything you regret? The world didn’t understand the context and the events that led up to it. Because nothing ever just happens like that without some lead-up. Some events took place to cause me to be pissed off when he called me a bitch. That was not just a singular event. Basically, I got really sick of the dynamic between he and I. And that wasn’t just based on what happened on that phone call and with that song — it was kind of a chain reaction of things.

I started to feel like we reconnected, which felt great for me — because all I ever wanted my whole career after that thing happened in 2009 was for him to respect me. When someone doesn’t respect you so loudly and says you literally don’t deserve to be here — I just so badly wanted that respect from him, and I hate that about myself, that I was like, “This guy who’s antagonizing me, I just want his approval.” But that’s where I was. And so we’d go to dinner and stuff. And I was so happy, because he would say really nice things about my music. It just felt like I was healing some childhood rejection or something from when I was 19. But the 2015 VMAs come around. He’s getting the Vanguard Award. He called me up beforehand — I didn’t illegally record it, so I can’t play it for you. But he called me up, maybe a week or so before the event, and we had maybe over an hourlong conversation, and he’s like, “I really, really would like for you to present this Vanguard Award to me, this would mean so much to me,” and went into all the reasons why it means so much, because he can be so sweet. He can be the sweetest. And I was so stoked that he asked me that. And so I wrote this speech up, and then we get to the VMAs and I make this speech and he screams, “MTV got Taylor Swift up here to present me this award for ratings!” [His exact words: “You know how many times they announced Taylor was going to give me the award ’cause it got them more ratings?”] And I’m standing in the audience with my arm around his wife, and this chill ran through my body. I realized he is so two-faced. That he wants to be nice to me behind the scenes, but then he wants to look cool, get up in front of everyone and talk shit. And I was so upset. He wanted me to come talk to him after the event in his dressing room. I wouldn’t go. So then he sent this big, big thing of flowers the next day to apologize. And I was like, “You know what? I really don’t want us to be on bad terms again. So whatever, I’m just going to move past this.” So when he gets on the phone with me, and I was so touched that he would be respectful and, like, tell me about this one line in the song.

The line being “. . . me and Taylor might still have sex”? [Nods] And I was like, “OK, good. We’re back on good terms.” And then when I heard the song, I was like, “I’m done with this. If you want to be on bad terms, let’s be on bad terms, but just be real about it.” And then he literally did the same thing to Drake. He gravely affected the trajectory of Drake’s family and their lives. It’s the same thing. Getting close to you, earning your trust, detonating you. I really don’t want to talk about it anymore because I get worked up, and I don’t want to just talk about negative shit all day, but it’s the same thing. Go watch Drake talk about what happened. [West denied any involvement in Pusha-T’s revelation of Drake’s child and apologized for sending “negative energy” toward Drake.]

When did you get to the place that’s described on the opening track of Lover, “I Forgot That You Existed”? It was sometime on the Reputation tour, which was the most transformative emotional experience of my career. That tour put me in the healthiest, most balanced place I’ve ever been. After that tour, bad stuff can happen to me, but it doesn’t level me anymore. The stuff that happened a couple of months ago with Scott [Borchetta] would have leveled me three years ago and silenced me. I would have been too afraid to speak up. Something about that tour made me disengage from some part of public perception I used to hang my entire identity on, which I now know is incredibly unhealthy.

What was the actual revelation? It’s almost like I feel more clear about the fact that my job is to be an entertainer. It’s not like this massive thing that sometimes my brain makes it into, and sometimes the media makes it into, where we’re all on this battlefield and everyone’s gonna die except one person, who wins. It’s like, “No, do you know what? Katy is going to be legendary. Gaga is going to be legendary. Beyoncé is going to be legendary. Rihanna is going to be legendary. Because the work that they made completely overshadows the myopia of this 24-hour news cycle of clickbait.” And somehow I realized that on tour, as I was looking at people’s faces. We’re just entertaining people, and it’s supposed to be fun.

It’s interesting to look at these albums as a trilogy. 1989 was really a reset button. Oh, in every way. I’ve been very vocal about the fact that that decision was mine and mine alone, and it was definitely met with a lot of resistance. Internally.

After realizing that things were not all smiles with your former label boss, Scott Borchetta, it’s hard not to wonder how much additional conflict there was over things like that. A lot of the best things I ever did creatively were things that I had to really fight — and I mean aggressively fight — to have happen. But, you know, I’m not like him, making crazy, petty accusations about the past. . . . When you have a business relationship with someone for 15 years, there are going to be a lot of ups and a lot of downs. But I truly, legitimately thought he looked at me as the daughter he never had. And so even though we had a lot of really bad times and creative differences, I was going to hang my hat on the good stuff. I wanted to be friends with him. I thought I knew what betrayal felt like, but this stuff that happened with him was a redefinition of betrayal for me, just because it felt like it was family. To go from feeling like you’re being looked at as a daughter to this grotesque feeling of “Oh, I was actually his prized calf that he was fattening up to sell to the slaughterhouse that would pay the most.”

He accused you of declining the Parkland march and Manchester benefit show. Unbelievable. Here’s the thing: Everyone in my team knew if Scooter Braun brings us something, do not bring it to me. The fact that those two are in business together after the things he said about Scooter Braun — it’s really hard to shock me. And this was utterly shocking. These are two very rich, very powerful men, using $300 million of other people’s money to purchase, like, the most feminine body of work. And then they’re standing in a wood-panel bar doing a tacky photo shoot, raising a glass of scotch to themselves. Because they pulled one over on me and got this done so sneakily that I didn’t even see it coming. And I couldn’t say anything about it.

In some ways, on a musical level, Lover feels like the most indie-ish of your albums. That’s amazing, thank you. It’s definitely a quirky record. With this album, I felt like I sort of gave myself permission to revisit older themes that I used to write about, maybe look at them with fresh eyes. And to revisit older instruments — older in terms of when I used to use them. Because when I was making 1989, I was so obsessed with it being this concept of Eighties big pop, whether it was Eighties in its production or Eighties in its nature, just having these big choruses — being unapologetically big. And then Reputation, there was a reason why I had it all in lowercase. I felt like it wasn’t unapologetically commercial. It’s weird, because that is the album that took the most amount of explanation, and yet it’s the one I didn’t talk about. In the Reputation secret sessions I kind of had to explain to my fans, “I know we’re doing a new thing here that I’d never done before.” I’d never played with characters before. For a lot of pop stars, that’s a really fun trick, where they’re like, “This is my alter ego.” I had never played with that before. It’s really fun. And it was just so fun to play with on tour — the darkness and the bombast and the bitterness and the love and the ups and the downs of an emotional-turmoil record.

“Daylight” is a beautiful song. It feels like it could have been the title track. It almost was. I thought it might be a little bit too sentimental.

And I guess maybe too on-the-nose. Right, yeah, way too on-the-nose. That’s what I thought, because I was kind of in my head referring to the album as Daylight for a while. But Lover, to me, was a more interesting title, more of an accurate theme in my head, and more elastic as a concept. That’s why “You Need to Calm Down” can make sense within the theme of the album — one of the things it addresses is how certain people are not allowed to live their lives without discrimination just based on who they love.

For the more organic songs on this album, like “Lover” and “Paper Rings,” you said you were imagining a wedding band playing them. How often does that kind of visualization shape a song’s production style? Sometimes I’ll have a strange sort of fantasy of where the songs would be played. And so for songs like “Paper Rings” or “Lover” I was imagining a wedding-reception band, but in the Seventies, so they couldn’t play instruments that wouldn’t have been invented yet. I have all these visuals. For Reputation, it was nighttime cityscape. I didn’t really want any — or very minimal — traditional acoustic instruments. I imagined old warehouse buildings that had been deserted and factory spaces and all this industrial kind of imagery. So I wanted the production to have nothing wooden. There’s no wood floors on that album. Lover is, like, completely just a barn wood floor and some ripped curtains flowing in the breeze, and fields of flowers and, you know, velvet.

How did you come to use high school metaphors to touch on politics with “Miss Americana & the Heartbreak Prince”? There are so many influences that go into that particular song. I wrote it a couple of months after midterm elections, and I wanted to take the idea of politics and pick a metaphorical place for that to exist. And so I was thinking about a traditional American high school, where there’s all these kinds of social events that could make someone feel completely alienated. And I think a lot of people in our political landscape are just feeling like we need to huddle up under the bleachers and figure out a plan to make things better.

I feel like your Fall Out Boy fandom might’ve slipped out in that title. I love Fall Out Boy so much. Their songwriting really influenced me, lyrically, maybe more than anyone else. They take a phrase and they twist it. “Loaded God complex/Cock it and pull it”? When I heard that, I was like, “I’m dreaming.”

You sing about “American stories burning before me.” Do you mean the illusions of what America is? It’s about the illusions of what I thought America was before our political landscape took this turn, and that naivete that we used to have about it. And it’s also the idea of people who live in America, who just want to live their lives, make a living, have a family, love who they love, and watching those people lose their rights, or watching those people feel not at home in their home. I have that line “I see the high-fives between the bad guys” because not only are some really racist, horrific undertones now becoming overtones in our political climate, but the people who are representing those concepts and that way of looking at the world are celebrating loudly, and it’s horrific.

You’re in this weird place of being a blond, blue-eyed pop star in this era — to the point where until you endorsed some Democratic candidates, right-wingers, and worse, assumed you were on their side. I don’t think they do anymore. Yeah, that was jarring, and I didn’t hear about that until after it had happened. Because at this point, I, for a very long time, I didn’t have the internet on my phone, and my team and my family were really worried about me because I was not in a good place. And there was a lot of stuff that they just dealt with without telling me about it. Which is the only time that’s ever happened in my career. I’m always in the pilot seat, trying to fly the plane that is my career in exactly the direction I want to take it. But there was a time when I just had to throw my hands up and say, “Guys, I can’t. I can’t do this. I need you to just take over for me and I’m just going to disappear.”

Are you referring to when a white-supremacist site suggested you were on their team? I didn’t even see that, but, like, if that happened, that’s just disgusting. There’s literally nothing worse than white supremacy. It’s repulsive. There should be no place for it. Really, I keep trying to learn as much as I can about politics, and it’s become something I’m now obsessed with, whereas before, I was living in this sort of political ambivalence, because the person I voted for had always won. We were in such an amazing time when Obama was president because foreign nations respected us. We were so excited to have this dignified person in the White House. My first election was voting for him when he made it into office, and then voting to re-elect him. I think a lot of people are like me, where they just didn’t really know that this could happen. But I’m just focused on the 2020 election. I’m really focused on it. I’m really focused on how I can help and not hinder. Because I also don’t want it to backfire again, because I do feel that the celebrity involvement with Hillary’s campaign was used against her in a lot of ways.

You took a lot of heat for not getting involved. Does any part of you regret that you just didn’t say “fuck it” and gotten more specific when you said to vote that November? Totally. Yeah, I regret a lot of things all the time. It’s like a daily ritual.

Were you just convinced that it would backfire? That’s literally what it was. Yeah. It’s a very powerful thing when you legitimately feel like numbers have proven that pretty much everyone hates you. Like, quantifiably. That’s not me being dramatic. And you know that.

There were a lot of people in those stadiums. It’s true. But that was two years later. . . . I do think, as a party, we need to be more of a team. With Republicans, if you’re wearing that red hat, you’re one of them. And if we’re going to do anything to change what’s happening, we need to stick together. We need to stop dissecting why someone’s on our side or if they’re on our side in the right way or if they phrased it correctly. We need to not have the right kind of Democrat and the wrong kind of Democrat. We need to just be like, “You’re a Democrat? Sick. Get in the car. We’re going to the mall.”

Here’s a hard question for you: As a superfan, what did you think of the Game of Thrones finale? Oh, my God. I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about this. So, clinically our brain responds to our favorite show ending the same way we feel when a breakup occurs. I read that. There’s no good way for it to end. No matter what would have happened in that finale, people still would have been really upset because of the fact that it’s over.

I was glad to see you confirm that your line about a “list of names” was a reference to Arya. I like to be influenced by movies and shows and books and stuff. I love to write about a character dynamic. And not all of my life is going to be as kind of complex as these intricate webs of characters on TV shows and movies.

There was a time when it was. That’s amazing.

But is the idea that as your own life becomes less dramatic, you’ll need to pull ideas from other places? I don’t feel like that yet. I think I might feel like that possibly when I have a family. If I have a family. [Pauses] I don’t know why I said that! But that’s what I’ve heard from other artists, that they were very protective of their personal life, so they had to draw inspiration from other things. But again, I don’t know why I said that. Because I don’t know how my life is going to go or what I’m going to do. But right now, I feel like it’s easier for me to write than it ever was.

You don’t talk about your relationship, but you’ll sing about it in wildly revealing detail. What’s the difference for you? Singing about something helps you to express it in a way that feels more accurate. You cannot, no matter what, put words in a quote and have it move someone the same way as if you heard those words with the perfect sonic representation of that feeling... There is that weird conflict in being a confessional songwriter and then also having my life, you know, 10 years ago, be catapulted into this strange pop-culture thing.

I’ve heard you say that people got too interested in which song was about who, which I can understand — at the same time, to be fair, it was a game you played into, wasn’t it? I realized very early on that no matter what, that was going to happen to me regardless. So when you realize the rules of the game you’re playing and how it will affect you, you got to look at the board and make your strategy. But at the same time, writing songs has never been a strategic element of my career. But I’m not scared anymore to say that other things in my career, like how to market an album, are strictly strategic. And I’m sick of women not being able to say that they have strategic business minds — because male artists are allowed to. And so I’m sick and tired of having to pretend like I don’t mastermind my own business. But, it’s a different part of my brain than I use to write.

You’ve been masterminding your business since you were a teenager. Yeah, but I’ve also tried very hard — and this is one thing I regret — to convince people that I wasn’t the one holding the puppet strings of my marketing existence, or the fact that I sit in a conference room several times a week and come up with these ideas. I felt for a very long time that people don’t want to think of a woman in music who isn’t just a happy, talented accident. We’re all forced to kind of be like, “Aw, shucks, this happened again! We’re still doing well! Aw, that’s so great.” Alex Morgan celebrating scoring a goal at the World Cup and getting shit for it is a perfect example of why we’re not allowed to flaunt or celebrate, or reveal that, like, “Oh, yeah, it was me. I came up with this stuff.” I think it’s really unfair. People love new female artists so much because they’re able to explain that woman’s success. There’s an easy trajectory. Look at the Game of Thrones finale. I specifically really related to Daenerys’ storyline because for me it portrayed that it is a lot easier for a woman to attain power than to maintain it.

I mean, she did murder... It’s a total metaphor! Like, obviously I didn’t want Daenerys to become that kind of character, but in taking away what I chose to take away from it, I thought maybe they’re trying to portray her climbing the ladder to the top was a lot easier than maintaining it, because for me, the times when I felt like I was going insane was when I was trying to maintain my career in the same way that I ascended. It’s easier to get power than to keep it. It’s easier to get acclaim than to keep it. It’s easier to get attention than to keep it.

Well, I guess we should be glad you didn’t have a dragon in 2016... [Fiercely] I told you I don’t like that she did that! But, I mean, watching the show, though, maybe this is a reflection on how we treat women in power, how we are totally going to conspire against them and tear at them until they feel this — this insane shift, where you wonder, like, “What changed?” And I’ve had that happen, like, 60 times in my career where I’m like, “OK, you liked me last year, what changed? I guess I’ll change so I can keep entertaining you guys.”

You once said that your mom could never punish you when you were little because you’d punish yourself. This idea of changing in the face of criticism and needing approval — that’s all part of wanting to be good, right? Whatever that means. But that seems to be a real driving force in your life. Yeah, that’s definitely very perceptive of you. And the question posed to me is, if you kept trying to do good things, but everyone saw those things in a cynical way and assumed them to be done with bad motivation and bad intent, would you still do good things, even though nothing that you did was looked at as good? And the answer is, yes. Criticism that’s constructive is helpful to my character growth. Baseless criticism is stuff I’ve got to toss out now.

That sounds healthy. Is this therapy talking or is this just experience? No, I’ve never been to therapy. I talk to my mom a lot, because my mom is the one who’s seen everything. God, it takes so long to download somebody on the last 29 years of my life, and my mom has seen it all. She knows exactly where I’m coming from. And we talk endlessly. There were times when I used to have really, really, really bad days where we would just be on the phone for hours and hours and hours. I’d write something that I wanted to say, and instead of posting it, I’d just read it to her.

I somehow connect all this to the lyric in “Daylight,” the idea of “so many lines that I’ve crossed unforgiven” — it’s a different kind of confession. I am really glad you liked that line, because that’s something that does bother me, looking back at life and realizing that no matter what, you screw things up. Sometimes there are people that were in your life and they’re not anymore — and there’s nothing you can do about it. You can’t fix it, you can’t change it. I told the fans last night that sometimes on my bad days, I feel like my life is a pile of crap accumulated of only the bad headlines or the bad things that have happened, or the mistakes I’ve made or clichés or rumors or things that people think about me or have thought for the last 15 years. And that was part of the “Look What You Made Me Do” music video, where I had a pile of literal old selves fighting each other.

But, yeah, that line is indicative of my anxiety about how in life you can’t get everything right. A lot of times you make the wrong call, make the wrong decision. Say the wrong thing. Hurt people, even if you didn’t mean to. You don’t really know how to fix all of that. When it’s, like, 29 years’ worth.

To be Mr. “Rolling Stone” for a second, there’s a Springsteen lyric, “Ain’t no one leaving this world, buddy/Without their shirttail dirty or hands a little bloody.” That’s really good! No one gets through it unscathed. No one gets through in one piece. I think that’s a hard thing for a lot of people to grasp. I know it was hard for me, because I kind of grew up thinking, “If I’m nice, and if I try to do the right thing, you know, maybe I can just, like, ace this whole thing.” And it turns out I can’t.

It’s interesting to look at “I Did Something Bad” in this context. You pointing that out is really interesting because it’s something I’ve had to reconcile within myself in the last couple of years — that sort of “good” complex. Because from the time I was a kid I’d try to be kind, be a good person. Try really hard. But you get walked all over sometimes. And how do you respond to being walked all over? You can’t just sit there and eat your salad and let it happen. “I Did Something Bad” was about doing something that was so against what I would usually do. Katy [Perry] and I were talking about our signs. . . . [Laughs] Of course we were.

That’s the greatest sentence ever. [Laughs] I hate you. We were talking about our signs because we had this really, really long talk when we were reconnecting and stuff. And I remember in the long talk, she was like, “If we had one glass of white wine right now, we’d both be crying.” Because we were drinking tea. We’ve had some really good conversations.

We were talking about how we’ve had miscommunications with people in the past, not even specifically with each other. She’s like, “I’m a Scorpio. Scorpios just strike when they feel threatened.” And I was like, “Well, I’m an archer. We literally stand back, assess the situation, process how we feel about it, raise a bow, pull it back, and fire.” So it’s completely different ways of processing pain, confusion, misconception. And oftentimes I’ve had this delay in feeling something that hurts me and then saying that it hurts me. Do you know what I mean? And so I can understand how people in my life would have been like, “Whoa, I didn’t know that was how you felt.” Because it takes me a second.

If you watch the video of the 2009 VMAs, I literally freeze. I literally stand there. And that is how I handle any discomfort, any pain. I stand there, I freeze. And then five minutes later, I know how I feel. But in the moment, I’m probably overreacting and I should be nice. Then I process it, and in five minutes, if it’s gone, it’s past, and I’m like, “I was overreacting, everything’s fine. I can get through this. I’m glad I didn’t say anything harsh in the moment.” But when it’s actually something bad that happened, and I feel really, really hurt or upset about it, I only know after the fact. Because I’ve tried so hard to squash it: “This probably isn’t what you think.” That’s something I had to work on.

You could end up gaslighting yourself. Yeah, for sure. ’Cause so many situations where if I would have said the first thing that came to my mind, people would have been like, “Whoa!” And maybe I would have been wrong or combative. So a couple of years ago I started working on actually just responding to my emotions in a quicker fashion. And it’s really helped with stuff. It’s helped so much because sometimes you get in arguments. But conflict in the moment is so much better than combat after the fact.

Well, thanks. I do feel like I just did a therapy session. As someone who’s never been to therapy, I can safely say that was the best therapy session.

[hi-i-try-to-be-kind]

A letter to tumblrstake

When I first got a tumblr at 13 years old, I had no idea that there would one day be a CJCLDS community on this site. I didn’t find it until years later, if I remember correctly about the time that I made this specific account. Now, in my 20s, I’ve come to love this little community, even when the rest of this site has been so, so harmful to me and my growth as a person. I really love this community—I must stress this. Even though I’ve mostly been a viewer who didn’t interact, this community has meant a lot to me, especially as a late teenager, and has positively impacted the way I interact with people. I truly believe that everyone here is doing their best.

But now I’m leaving tumblr completely. And a huge reason for that is certain patterns that have started to encompass the tumblrstake community. And I believe that if I don’t say anything, no one else will.

Before I go on, I ask that you please try to listen. I know it’s hard—there’s even a Harvard (I think it’s Harvard?) study that shows that in the middle of an argument, someone cannot change their own mind. But while writing this, I practiced something that I hope you will too. I asked myself, ‘Lord, is it I?’ And while I certainly have plenty of responsibility for how I view the comments of others and how they affect me, I also believe that there are some serious problems that almost no one is addressing.

This community, especially at conference time, has become spiritually poisonous. Yes, part of that is how I look at comments, but I’ve come to believe that it’s not just me, but also that the comments are thought of and posted without any consultation with the Spirit. Today, I felt the Spirit during the talks given by Elder Cook, Elder Oaks, and Elder Rasband, up until I got on this site.

With Elder Cook, there was a lot of criticism of how he didn’t acknowledge that the church had a racist past—but he did. It was brief, but he said something that I don’t think could have applied to anything else. But this was ignored. From my perspective, his argument was using our spiritual ancestors (specifically our non-racist ones) as an example for how we should pattern our lives. But I’ve seen no one mention this interpretation. It seems clear to me that, in argumentation terms, he was not shown the ‘principle of charity’ (1). Maybe this is because he didn’t use the vocabulary that people on here associate with what he meant to say, I don’t know.

With Elder Rasband, there was criticism that he was trying to make a legal process within the church into something spiritual. But when I was listening to the talk, as someone who has struggled with being worthy to hold a temple recommend, it meant a lot. It gave me a more thorough understanding of my goal. And it can also be applied to general temple worthiness—and my belief is that anyone who didn’t need the words about temple recommends and still gave his words the ‘principle of charity,’ would see past his plain words and to the spiritual meaning beneath. I didn’t even understand why people thought of his talk the way they did, until I realized that he came after Elder Cook—in other words, because people were already primed to take his words badly, they did.

Last of all was Elder Oaks, who stood up strongly for what he believes, and what he believes that God had told him to say during the months of preparation he spent for this conference—and when I listened to the talk, I heard equal condemnation of racism and violence. My friend heard a more direct message against racism. Yet in this community, people criticized him for it. Specifically, people criticized him for being America-centric when he opened the talk by acknowledging that it was going to be so. With Elder Oaks, of course it has a history. He’s very direct with what God tells him to say, and at times that has led to people, especially members of the LGBT+ community, being hurt. But when I went back and watched those talks about the LGBT+ community, without the angry comments of this community to distract me, I saw how much he spoke of loving the members of the LGBT+ community, those very same people that this community perceived him as only speaking of hating. And in this latest talk, I have no doubt that the difference between perceptions comes from the fact that people who believe his previous talks were harmful refuse to give him the ‘principle of charity.’ When he says that we should love our enemies, they see it as condemning only their side, while not realizing that if they truly listened, it would not only be a condemnation of both extremes, but also, and I don’t know how to say this more gently, a rebuke of their own unloving actions within this community.

I remember years ago (I’m sorry I don’t have the post saved so that I could show you proof of this), there was a post going around that many people took to be pro LGBT+, and included some sentiments that indicated that people shouldn’t listen to the prophet above what they personally believe to be true. A member of the community took issue with this, I believe voicing that it was extreme. They were jumped on by many other members of the community who took their comment to mean that they were anti-LGBT+. As I recall, the comments were not cruel, but they were certainly not understanding or kind. The member who was jumped on only said something in the tags along the lines of ‘Hmm. I believe I have been misunderstood,’ because if I recall correctly, they were pro-LGBT+. I believe they left tumblr, or at least tumblrstake, not long after that. (If I’d taken a screenshot, I could show you—let this be a lesson in keeping your sources lol)

After all of the things that I’ve outlined above—and these are only examples, not the whole story—I don’t know how to say this gently while still being direct. This community needs Elder Oaks’ talk. This community does not love its enemies. This community does not give anyone the benefit of the doubt. In some ways, what I just said is untrue—ex-members are not pushed away or mocked. People who have problems with the church are not dismissed. And what wonderful attributes these are! I adore this community for how universal these attitudes at least appear to be! But the very prophets and apostles that God directly tells us, in the scriptures, are to look out for our spiritual welfare—the very prophets and apostles that love and worry for all of us—are the people that this community has decided are its enemies. If they are your enemies, and you truly believe in the gospel of Christ, you need to treat them like Christ told you to treat your enemies, to love them by giving their words the benefit of the doubt, to show them the ‘principle of charity.’

When you dismiss the prophets and don’t treat them with the same civility that you justly would an ex-member, or dismiss members of the church that don’t treat the prophets the same way you do, you cannot expect to create a spiritual environment. Especially during conference time, when spiritual strength can be found in actually listening to what the prophets are saying, and not just straw-manning them and assuming that they say either exactly what you want them to say or exactly what you don’t want them to say.

I hope, even in this criticism, you’ve been able to feel the love that I have for this community. I believe that every member in it is a good person, who truly seeks the Spirit and to do what is right. But just as the church continues to grow and change to become more in line with God’s will, this community must change too—and with every year I’ve been here, there has only been a steady decline towards hatred and straw-manning. And this community can be so much more! I’ve seen it be a great place for people to grow spiritually together. I’ve seen it be a refuge for LGBT+ members of the church! But at conference time, whenever a speaker steps up and people perceive (sometimes objectively correctly) a disagreement with their own beliefs, it stops being that place.

I’m leaving now. Love you all.

TLDR; I love this community, but it is slowly becoming a spiritually poisonous place that does not give the prophets the benefit of the doubt or seek for spiritual meaning in talks they disagree with. I’m very bad at TLDRs, so please read the whole post.

(1) I’m using the term ‘principle of charity’ to mean the concept of listening to someone’s argument as the strongest version of their argument that it could possibly be—giving the benefit of the doubt, basically the opposite of straw-manning, etc.

P.S. I wanted to get this out before the second session but editing bled into the second session, so I delayed it so that people could have no interruption in their spirituality if nothing happened in the second session. That’s why I only addressed things in the first session.

P.P.S. Whoops I meant to schedule this. Sorry!

[aphrodicted]

Thoughts about the Nine of Wands and 2020

For some time now, my cards seem to want to communicate with me to give a message to all those who visit both my blog and my other social networks. This year has been very hard for all of us, many of us have had to say goodbye to family members or people of great importance in our lives, while we learned a new way of life that, on some occasions, has been difficult for us to understand and apply in our day to day life. Today, there are still people who don’t understand the esoteric, even metaphorical, meaning of everything is happening in the world and prefer to live in the same way they did months ago when no one expected or believed possible the chaos it has possessed our routine for the last time.

My cards stir restlessly, almost crying out for special attention, and they ask me to hear a specific message. That message comes from the hand of an uncomfortable card for many, although hopeful for many others. The Nine of Wands, somewhat shy, appears among its companions and expands on its explanations. Also, it’s a card that has been appearing in many, many of the readings I have been offering over the last month. Something very normal, however, since we are about to end the year and the Nine of Wands is a fundamental essence to close a cycle.

The Nine of Wands is usually associated with work and action because it belongs to the suit of Wands. This association isn’t wrong, but I think it limits your messages. Cards shouldn’t be limited to a single message or function, but rather be interpreted by adapting the message of the card to the situation that comes to us from the hand of a client or even our personal situation if we ask for ourselves.

The card features a man holding a stick and watching as he leaves behind eight remaining wands. Those wands must be associated with the eight wands of the previous card, Eight of Wands, which are announced as a quick arrival, almost a blessing fallen from Heaven and presented before us as a divine help or a quick and ephemeral reward we must take advantage of in the moment it appears. It’s an opportunity with a limited time, that only the one with sufficient awareness will be able to perceive, collect and use these wands. The person without consciousness will not be able to make use of these wands, since they are connected with everything Below, but aren’t connected with what is Above. That consciousness can be related to the World of Emanations, although if the human being doesn’t have that connection with the Higher... it’s impossible for the higher "orders" to penetrate their body, that cage that keeps them even further away from their true nature.

Therefore, the consciousness and connection of the person not only with their divinity, but with their life mission and the karma that comes to be cleansed in this incarnation will be important to understand the magnitude of the message of the Nine of Wands and, furthermore, in what point is the person: in the beginning, middle or end of the understanding of that card. It will also be important to recognize what has been the use we have given to those fleeting wands that have appeared as a hopeful breath in our lives. Have we used them correctly? Have we made an incorrect use of these? Have we not used them and discarded their essence into disuse? Our attitude to the gifts and helps that are given to us, although it may not seem like it, also has a great impact not only in the present, but in our next life.

In the end, to understand the Nine of Wands we must not only look at the design of the card, its colors or its different messages, but also the number and the element to which it belongs. The Nine of Wands is part of the fire cards, so it will be related to the first element that appeared in the Creation of the Universe we now know. It’s the primordial element and, in a way, the most united to the Divine. Fire is the seed, the idea that suddenly appears in our mind and we don’t know where it came from, but we are certain we must carry it out to the end. Therefore, the message of the card is something must be finalized yes or yes, it may not have the force a Major Arcana could have, but it’s a situation, a learning or a lesson that must occur.

The number nine has a character of withdrawal and interior recollection. It’s the number of fullness and spiritual forms, since it contains the triple triangle (3 x 3) is associated with Wisdom. The number 9 talks about the end of a stage because it’s the limit that human beings can reach. There is nothing beyond nine, but a return to the beginning, since 10 symbolizes the return to the primordial unity and, therefore, a new stage. The nine symbolizes the end of a cycle of materialization that must be internalized and understood, since everything externalized is a reflection of what happens inside us. Therefore, the state of this end of the cycle will be the manifestation of how we are internally.

The Nine of Wands announces to us the end has arrived and we must leave that situation permanently. It isn’t an abandonment like the one symbolized by the Eight of Cups, but a final farewell to a cycle, a situation or an experience that cannot contribute anything else because it has reached its limit. Those eight wands the man leaves behind have nothing more to contribute, so he absorbs what he has learned and starts a new stage with everything he has achieved. The Nine of Wands asks the person to go and clean up in order to focus on a new stage because they need to start from scratch and learn something new. However, before relearning, the person will need to do what the number 9 symbolizes: withdraw and internalize all the experiences lived.

The wand the man carries in his hands is the experience, the knowledge learned, the mistakes he shouldn’t make again... what will help him understand why he should close this stage and focus on a new one, although this may cost him pain and suffering.

The wounds symbolize the sacrifice and the rigor used during this long process he has had to cope with over a long period of time. In addition, the wounds will help him internalize what is necessary more quickly, since the widsom will penetrate his body throught his wounds and reach those places where it must go.

On the other hand, it seems vitally important to highlight the bandage on his head. The head is much more than a simple part of our body that holds us together with the other members. The head is the seat of consciousness, the source of vision and guidance, the executor of the soul's will. For this reason, the head is above other parts of the body, since if it will be in any other position, its function will be difficult to fulfill, as well as to guide the other members of the body. Furthermore, if the head were separated from the body, the instructions given to us by those Above wouldn’t have the influence they have on us. We couldn’t connect internally with those instructions, since it would act as an external force and not as an internal force that comes from within us. A body attached to its head will avoid falling into negative influence, as the man reflected in the Nine of Wands card does by leaving those eight wands behind and entering a new stage without being attached to his past.

If we look closely, the bandage is located at the level of the crown chakra. This may refer to a blocked crown chakra that doesn’t allow you to connect with the Divinity, so you will not be able to understand the lesson that this period of materialization has wanted to leave implanted within you. The struggle exercised for so long will be insignificant for this person and the end of that struggle will not bring peace and this individual will continue to fight for something that has no sustenance. He or she will continue to fight for something that is dead and this will cause, later on, an emptiness within and a deeper disconnection with the spiritual. That emptiness will transform this person into a distrustful one who will be continuously alert. On the other hand, the bandage can also announce that crown chakra healed, although still protected by being vulnerable to any other interaction.

In summary, the message of the Nine of Wands is the following for all of you in relation to what has been lived this year. That well-known phrase of "we have won a battle, but not the war" is a reflection of how we should face the next year. 2020 has been a tough time for everyone, but full of lessons that very few seem to have understood from a higher point of view. All the efforts you have made during this year, depending on the nature of these efforts, will have their reward, but what you will find will not be fortune but rather a reputation, thanks or recognition for everything you have done.

Analyze everything that happened during this year and meditate on what aspects or situations have helped you to live a moral victory. The victory we have all achieved after the events will not be a material reward, but a moral reward... something much deeper that not everyone will be able to enjoy because of that low awareness I spoke about in other paragraphs.

The end of the year 2020 represents the end of a struggle, but not the end of a war that must continue next year and we must be prepared to leave no one behind. It’s a war we must all face in order to be victorious, although it will be a costly war that will force us to sacrifice a lot. However, what lesson is not accompanied by sacrifice or rigor? It’s something that will always be linked to learning, since the human being, on some occasions, seems not to know how to learn if there is no pain involved.

On the other hand, struggles and efforts are never in vain if the person has managed to understand something. You always learn something from the events we live and, in addition, I dare to say coincidences don’t exist and everything we experience has a meaning that acquires a meaning at some point.

Finally, and it seems fundamental to me, the past should be used as a source of experiences, but never as a melancholic refuge to turn to when things don’t go as we wish. The past must remain in the past and must not invade our present or limit or control our future. The past cannot be changed, but we can change our present and condition our future based on our present. The past should help us not to make the same mistakes and be used as a source of knowledge that will help not only us, but all the people around us.

[lady-divine-writes]

Yeah... cool story. Half of what you say, uh... must have been a different person because I sure as heck have no memory or reference of it. And if someone I know online bullied you, then I'm sorry but... not on me. I unfollowed you because your defense of Klaine and, quite honestly, some of your views on BDSM made me uncomfortable. Could I have been more, heh, gracious about it? Sure, I can admit that. I'm not perfect. That being said I'm gonna remove a stressor from my life now. Have a good one

Here’s the latest message. I haven’t read this one, but it’s in response to something I sent telling this person how I used to consider them a friend, and how I felt betrayed that they sort of defended someone who was not being nice to me and yet cut me out of their life. I just only read the last line, which is about cutting a stressor out of their life, which I assume is me? But ... but ... I haven’t talked to them in YEARS! I don’t follow them, don’t interact with them! How am I causing them stress!? Like I’ve said before, I am very easy to block! Tumblr is made for blocking posts and blogs. They interacted with my post, my blog, but I’m the cause of their stress!? I don’t get it!

EDIT*** I actually did just read this right now and now I’m pissed! Sorry for leaving a personal issue up on my feed but I am for two very important reasons - one that has to do with fandom and one that has to do with real life. This person doesn’t like my ‘defense of Klaine’. My defense of Klaine is I write Klaine fanfiction. Highly AU Klaine fanfiction to the point that people have accused me of writing Blaine OOC. If you go through my blog, you’ll find posts I’ve made talking about how I don’t stand fully behind Klaine or Blaine as written in canon, and that a great deal of what I write goes towards fixing what I perceive as mistakes in canon fandom. This person ships Kurtbastian and Coldflash, as do I, but you can’t tell me for one second that those two ships are unproblematic. Because they aren’t. They’re full of problems, and sins, and moments that can be perceived as abusive. But as fanfiction writers, we tweak those things, play with them, give them backstories or eliminate them altogether. But writing for Klaine is unforgivable apparently, enough so that any bullying of you if you do write for Klaine is acceptable. smdh. When you want to hate something so much, it doesn’t matter what people have to say about it, rational or no. It’s all very black and white, and you can’t win for losing. 

Also - my views on BDSM? Lets talk about that because this one I find very interesting as it is the problem I have with many people in fandom who write BDSM. This person writes BDSM. In fact, they wrote a whole fic based off of 50 Shades of Grey for a fandom that I’m in (oh, but if I remember correctly, they were ‘fixing’ things that were bad in 50 Shades. Because that can be fixed, Klaine can’t. Gotcha). But also, BDSM is my business? Has been for over three decades. IT’S HOW I MAKE A FUCKING LIVING!! This person’s views on BDSM come from where? Because they’re not a professional Dominant. I don’t think they’re even one in their personal life. Their views come from movies and fanfic like mine, probably blogs here on tumblr. I’m all for researching responsible BDSM and writing about it, but that doesn’t give you the right to judge me! You can’t sit your ass outside of my community with a pen and a pad of paper, biting off what we do, and claim it as your own! And if there are things I write that you have issue with, it may just be that you’re a tiny bit ignorant maybe? We (in my community - I don’t know who the fuck you talk to) talk about BDSM left and right being something with nuance and layers. I write about many different layers, not just the fan fave tying up and spanking. Because, again, it’s what I do. I can’t tell you the amount of times people object to something I write that they have no first hand or practical experience doing. You object to it? Great. That’s fantastic. You really think that gives you the right to be self-righteous about it? Do ya do that with everyone who has more experience in a field than you do?

Regardless, this is what you get when you’re so very very determined in your own rightness that you can’t see the forest for the trees. Again - I haven’t spoke to this person in FOUR YEARS! Whatever stress you have in your life, it’s not on me. It’s on you! Go read a book or something!

[alchemist-shizun]

Give my love to a shooting star

Read on Ao3!

Word count: 1,936

Pairing: Prinxiety

Warnings: there are a couple of swear words at the beginning.

Summary: During a night of shooting stars that isn't actually the exact one, Roman convinces Virgil to sneak out in the middle of the night to wish upon a star.

A/N: I will give a cookie to the first one that notices the meme reference. Guess who forgot about watching shooting stars on a certain night and wrote this three years later? To be honest I'm not exactly proud of my writing style in this one? It could have been better I guess?? Well, it was literally almost four am when I finished this, so that's the most I could do. (also i have no idea if the night of shooting stars is a thing only in Italy but if it isn't let's pretend for this one time.) That being said I hope you enjoy and I'll leave you to these fluffy pining idiots!

✾

❝ Let your colors burn and brightly burst

Into a million sparks that all disperse

And illuminate a world that'll try to bring you down

But not this time ❞

Virgil bolted awake to the noise of a loud thump he was sure he had heard and that didn't just come from his dream. Then again, his subconscious often found delight in messing with his perceiving.

He looked to his right, noticing an odd source of light from the corner of his eye, only to find it was simply his phone's screen that had lit up.

Had the power just gone out? Was that a thunder that woke him? There was no sign of raining outside, though. An earthquake then? Powerful enough to pull his charger's plug but not violent enough to make him aware of it.

Or maybe he was just too sleep drunk to think of plausible ideas.

He took the phone in his hands to check the time and, before he could even find the strength in his body to push a button, the screen lit up again.

He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion as he read the most recent messages that appeared on his lock screen.

Why the fuck was Roman texting him at four a.m. and how the hell did he know his name in fucking Cyrillic?

Virgil just scrolled through an entire list of variations of his name in different languages until he got to the bottom of the chat, a single plain line lying on his own text box.

Look out the window, Rapunzel.

After a deep sigh, a single “What?” escaped his mouth. He begrudgingly tore the sheets off of his legs and made his way towards the required location.

When he opened the windows to take a better look of the night outside, he thought he had been lucid dreaming, everything just felt too real and he could have definitely gone back to sleep.

But no, there he was. Roman. Standing in the middle of the front yard, fully dressed like he had to take a trip somewhere. Instead of being in bed, taking time for his beloved beauty sleep.

Smiling like the insane gorgeous bastard he was.

�� I could literally sue you for trespassing. » Virgil whispered before Roman could say anything. « And I am really tempted right now. »

« How about, say, you come down here and you leave with me for a resplendent journey? » Roman parted his arms, showing him that trademark detestable smirk that never failed to give Virgil unwanted butterflies to fly around in his stomach. Who had even invited them?

« You've got to be kidding me. It's four a.m. »

« We don't need light where we're going. »

Virgil took a moment to consider. Yep, he was definitely lucid dreaming. Because that just now didn't make any sense.

« I expect you to be out in five, bring your hoodie since it might get cold. Just wear something comfy. »

As much as Virgil had wanted to ignore him and pass out on his bed again, he would have felt too bad to turn him down, so he complied (obviously taking more time than necessary) to the crazy dead of the night plan.

He didn't miss how Roman had beamed at his sight as he got out of the door and approached him and his car.

The ride only took a few minutes and a couple of “I can't believe you're actually making me do this” for them to arrive at their destination.

Even though all Virgil could see was a hill. More precisely, a hill in the middle of the absolute nothingness, where no other human being could be seen.

Roman pretended he didn't notice the puzzled expression on his face as he gently took his wrist and tugged him forward, silently leading the way up the hill.

« I feel like I'm in a teenage romance movie that was given one star by the majority of rating sites. »

« It's because you still haven't sensed the magic of the night. »

« Okay, hold on a sec. » Virgil held his hands up, causing his arm to slip away from Roman's grip.

They stopped, halfway through their climb.

« You've been acting weird all night and I'm too stupid to understand anything right now. There has to be a meaning behind this. »

Roman looked him in the eyes, barely able to recognize the color with only the moonbeam as a source of light. And sometimes that was all it took for Virgil to melt right on the spot.

« You seriously don't know? » despite them being the only ones around, his voice sounded so soft and quiet that Virgil wasn't even sure he had heard correctly.

Seeing that he wasn't going to answer anytime soon, Roman let out a small giggle. Not to scorn him, but mostly because he could understand how the situation might have looked ridiculous out of context.

Virgil didn't realize he was holding his breath when the other paced forward and deliberately took his hands. « Aw, come on Virge. » he started swinging their arms. « The 10th of August. The night of the shooting stars! »

« Uh … I'm pretty sure you just made that up. »

Roman dropped his hands and sighed, a playful smile on his lips. « It's an Italian thing, actually. They say if you look at the sky on the night of the 10th of August, you will see shooting stars! »

Seeing the excitement literally glowing in his eyes, Virgil almost felt bad for ruining the moment.

« Buddy, I hate to break it to you but … it's kind of already the 11th. » he made a face, as if he was bracing for impact while realization struck Roman. A myriad of emotions could be seen on his face, but the most imposing one was the one you felt when everything went downhill right after someone said "well, what could go worse?".

Before he started internally screaming, Virgil tried to restore the previous peaceful moment. « But, » he tentatively took a step forward. « we could ignore that and see if we're lucky, I guess. »

Roman beaming with pure joy was the best reward he could have gotten for saving the situation. « You're not mad I took you here in vain? »

« As I think I've already said three times, it's four a.m. » Virgil resumed his climbing, only to look back at his companion once he was some steps ahead. « We might as well make this count. »

Soon enough, he was reached by a satisfied Roman, stealing furtive glances at his side. And the moment he locked his arm with Virgil he totally did it for safety reasons. What if one of them tripped over and hurt himself? He had to be careful in advance. There was absolutely no other reason.

When heat rose to his cheeks, though, he remembered the balcony bit in which Juliet thanked the dark of the night so that Romeo wouldn't have been able to see her blush.

Not too long after, they made it to the apex of the hill: the lack of street lamps nearby and the cloudless night both contributed to making that the best spot to stargaze.

Roman sat on the grass already looking up at the stars, rapidly joined by Virgil, who shifted the hoodie in his hands.

In no time, both of them were lying down, their arms stretched behind their heads, elbows barely brushing.

« What if we fell asleep? »

« Then we're going to see the sunrise. »

« Don't tell me you set an alarm. »

« Maybe. »

Roman took his phone and earbuds out, holding one for Virgil, who inspected it unsure before accepting it.

He had no idea why he was so fixated on simply stargazing, looking for shooting stars that probably would never show up, but noticing how kind and soft Roman had gotten for the occasion made him feel like a kid discovering the world for the first time. It was an endearing sight and he was not going to ruin that anytime soon.

Virgil relaxed himself, he let one arm on top of his chest while the other one laid beside his head. His eyelids though, they felt heavy, and he was being lulled back to sleep by the calm melody playing in his right ear.

That was before he heard Roman's sudden gasp, before he pointed to the sky and called out his name.

« Virgil, look! »

He opened his eyes, to be met with the remaining of stardust fading away before he could find the shooting star.

Roman turned to the side for a moment and faced him. Virgil wasn't sure if the stardust had actually fallen on Roman and he was now glowing brighter than any constellation or if it was only his sleep deprivation pulling tricks on him.

Either way, he wanted to reach out and brush some off of his cheek.

« Oh my- another one! » this time, he couldn't contain his excitement and took Virgil's hand almost automatically, immediately lacing their fingers together. He brought their joined hands over his own heart, beating at the usual high speed of when adrenaline rushed over him.

Virgil stopped caring how many shooting stars he missed as long as he was going to have that sight for himself only.

There was a moment of silence as Roman stared at the spot where the second shooting star had fallen for them. He sat upright, his earbud falling at his side.

« I've been trying to do this for years. » he admitted, Virgil could hear the smile in his voice.

Roman turned to him. « For literal years I've been waiting for this little opportunity. » it was stupid of Virgil to hope that he actually meant something else. That he meant he had been wanting him for the same amount of time he did.

Virgil saw a third shooting star right behind Roman's head.

Their fingers were still intertwined.

Would it have been stupid of Virgil to make a wish, too?

Roman leaned down at a dangerous distance, placing his free hand beside Virgil's head.

« Did you see that? » his soft voice was replaced by a low whisper, as if he were more focused on the person in front of him rather than his own words.

Virgil fought the will to close the gap and, instead, raised his hand to brush off that stardust from his cheek that made him so stupidly pretty.

He couldn't find it in himself to admit he wasn't able to speak because every aspect of that moment made him breathtaking.

His hand lingered as he felt Roman lean in his touch.

When the leaning started to move down again, Virgil knew he was done for.

A shooting star could've been falling on their heads and he wouldn't have noticed. It wouldn't have fallen harder than they had been for each other.

He couldn't understand the lyrics in his ear anymore.

Roman brushed his lips, savoring the anticipation right before the bliss. Then he melted into it, with small, quick and uncertain pecks at first that grew into slow, soft reciprocated kisses.

As one broke apart, the other pulled him in again, they met halfway, untangled their hands and let them wander on their cheeks, backs, hair.

Both of them were sitting when they were catching their breaths, unable to stop smiling despite how much their faces could have hurt.

Roman gave a quick glance at the sky, before directing all of his attention again to the gorgeous and messy work of art in front of him.

« Did you make a wish? »

Virgil chuckled silently as he started to lean in again.

« I don't think I needed to. »

[buh-bi-now]

Butch/Femme Bi Women

Seen a lot of rhetoric lately that amounts to “bisexual+ women who identify as butch and femme are appropriating these labels from lesbians. Lesbians use the butch/femme identifiers to distinguish themselves from people who are attracted to men. Bisexual women wear butch and femme as an aesthetic that can be removed at will, while to lesbians, these terms are an identity.”

For now, let’s side aside how ahistorical this is--there are numerous sources that can and have attested to the usage of butch and femme by sexuality categories outside of lesbian, spanning almost as far back as our first records of these words being used in the manner that they are used today. But let’s set that aside. I want to focus on this assertion: that bi+ women wear butch and femme as meaningless aesthetic choices that can be removed at will and that these terms do not carry the identity-related significance for bi+ women that they carry for lesbians. 

It’s not that lesbians are wrong about butch/femme being terms to indicate identity, often in ways that are critically important to belonging, community, and acceptance for their sexuality. However, acknowledging the way that these visual distinguishers of “butch” and “femme” operate only shows why the idea that “bi+ women don’t use these terms as meaningful identifiers” is patently false and also damaging to bi+ women. 

For example, from “‘Femme it Up or Dress it Down’: Appearance and Bisexual Women in Monogamous Relationships”:

Research has highlighted the ways in which being able to visually identify with others who are considered to be the “same as” oneself makes it more likely that they will feel accepted (Deci & Ryan, 2012). When one is recognized as a lesbian they are more likely to have access to the in-group (of, e.g., lesbian communities). This is thought to afford them the right to speak about lesbian culture and relationships, as they are validated by those around them (D’Erasmo, 2004).

Clearly, the above is the point being made when critics of butch/femme bisexuals claim that butch/femme are an aesthetic choice: that bisexual women are taking an identity on and off, while lesbians are using these visual signifiers to draw and create community and group acceptance. 

But as a somewhat masculine-presenting bi+ woman myself, this assessment did not sit right with me. Criticisms of bi+ women using the butch and femme labels often carry implications that bi+ women are attempting to piggyback on lesbian communities’ inclusivity that is supposed to be directed explicitly toward other lesbians. Bisexuals who use these terms are often ordered to create “their own” terminology, with an implication that butch and femme bisexuals are somehow being deceptive and perhaps even trying to infiltrate lesbian-only spaces where bisexual women are not welcome. 

I began to think further about this argument because I am a butch bi woman... but I’m in a long-term relationship with a man. I have spent exactly zero time attempting to enter lesbian spaces, much less lesbian-only ones, and have no interest in attracting anyone outside of my monogamous partnership at this time, even though I am attracted to gender presentation across the full range of the spectrum. In that case, why do I present as butch? The logical answer cannot be that I am attempting to infiltrate lesbian spaces and appropriate their terminology because I have no interest in entering lesbian spaces. Moreover, I am not interested in anyone thinking that I am a lesbian--because it is clear when I am with my partner that I am not solely attracted to women. 

The answer is this: I present as butch because I want people to know I’m not monosexual. 

Bi invisibility is a documented problem: 

Due to the fact that such categories [of heterosexual and homosexual] are dichotomous, they subsequently fail to permit any valid form of bisexuality that is not conceptualized as positioned in the middle of the binary. This renders bisexuality as an unstable sexual identity (Fahs, 2009) as well as perhaps contributing toward there being no appearance signifiers that explicitly relate to a bisexual identity. Thus, bisexual individuals find themselves in a space where they have little to no bisexual-specific signs and appearance mandates that mark them out as people who find more than one gender attractive (Clarke, & Turner, 2007; Hayfield, 2013; Hayfield, Clarke, Halliwell, & Malson, 2013). 

In light of the above fact, that bisexuals do not have easily available visual signifiers to identify themselves as bisexuals, it is somewhat unsurprising that--

. . . appearance displays are not necessarily always expressive of sexual preference. There are issues, then, in respect of relying on such things as gender expression or appearance to convey one’s sexual identity. However, the lesbian appearance norms the participants discussed in Hayfield’s (2013) research above, such as masculine clothing and hairstyles are arguably, well recognized in society. Such appearance signifiers are often associated with women who are attracted to other women. It is not surprising, then, that bisexual women draw from them in an attempt to render themselves visible.

So the response, “Find your own terminology!” We can’t. There isn’t terminology for bisexuals specifically because bisexual+ people destabilize the sexual binary of “you are either homo or heterosexual, you are either attracted to men or women.” Because oppressive systems rely on the strict binary of male/female in many ways, and because a bisexual+ way of being is outside of that dichotomy (both/more, rather than either/or), signifiers for bisexuality do not exist. 

What is the ultimate point I am driving at? The answer to why butch and femme is not just an aesthetic for bisexual women? Well, let’s take a look at this trend the article authors found: 

One of the consequences of being in a dyadic relationship with a person of the same gender or different gender is that it tends to overshadow a bisexual identity (Hartman-Linck, 2014; Taub,1999). Assumptions are made about a person’s sexual identity based on the gender of that person’s current partner (Diamond, 2007; Hartman, 2013). Participants understand that their same and different-gender attractions remain hidden in the context of their dyadic relationship. Therefore, one way in which participants can disrupt what others assume is their monosexual identity is to select appearance styles that do not neatly correlate with their misassumed sexual identity. It is perhaps also the case that by drawing from such appearance signifiers participants can ‘keep alive ’(Hartman, 2013; Hartman-Linck, 2014) their bisexuality in that they are able to express an aspect of themselves that is assumed to no longer be active by virtue of the fact they are in a monogamous dyadic relationship.

It must be acknowledged that this article is examining butch/femme bi women in the context of monogamous relationships, so it does have its limitations--we don’t see how this trend/pattern plays out in bi women who are not in monogamous partnerships. However, we can see how butch/femme bi women’s aesthetics fit into a larger pattern of trying to express bisexual identity in a culture that oppresses and represses that identity from all sides. This article gave a voice to at least one of the reasons that I have moved more and more toward being masculine-presenting even as my relationship with a man is going strong: I am keeping my bisexuality alive. 

I’m saying, hey world, I’m not straight, and you shouldn’t assume I am just because I’m a woman in a relationship with a man. It works in the opposite direction too -- bi women don’t want to be seen as lesbians. They want to be seen as bi women. So these article authors found that bi women in same-gender relationships often presented as more femme, especially when the two women in question were together in public. Why? Because two femme women in a romantic partnership disrupts assumed/perceived cultural stereotypes and norms that signify a purely lesbian relationship. 

In a highly visual culture that maps its assumptions onto us without our permission at all times, bi+ women are using the tools available to them to send a message that will be received and correctly perceived, and that message is this: I am not monosexual. Do not assume that I am. 

Butch and femme bi women are saying: I’m here, I’m bi, I’m not just an aesthetic, and I’m not going away just for your comfort.

Citation: Sarah Jane Daly, Nigel King & Tracey Yeadon-Lee (2018) ‘Femme it Up or Dress it Down’: Appearance and Bisexual Women in Monogamous Relationships, Journal of Bisexuality, 18:3, 257-277, DOI: 10.1080/15299716.2018.1485071