#or i guess i tried not to doubt or overthink it

[bodysnatcherrrr]

Lil Writing Drabble Challenge

(Plus a goose.)

1. Coffee- At fifteen her Daddy had told her she made her coffee too strong. "You havta chew it to get it down." He had chided from his usual spot at the empty dining room table, peering into the kitchen at his only daughter fiddling with the Black and Decker. Carpet holding distance between them was stained with oil and dirt from years old work boots. Her bare feet cold on the ground. Standing on the mopped laminate flooring of her own kitchen now, she carefully measures the grounds. The brewed coffee weak and bitter.

2. Lose- After so long all that is gradually shifts into past tense. It's the little scraps of information you wish you could forget. The minute details that hang around in your head on good days, bad days and whatever is in between. A body is never meant to be that still in a family home. 'She looks like she's sleeping.' Sleep doesn't molt once sun kissed flesh violet and blue. You lose the sound of their voice saying your name. An ever spoken I love you trailing before or after. (Her laugh escaping her, her belting out her favorite Elton John song.) The taste of home made fried green tomatoes on a random Tuesday afternoon. I was a selfish kid and never asked to learn how you fed us so well.

3. Shimmer- 'You wanna play mermaids? My tail is shimmery and black. What about yours?' A new friend was made in the three feet of water. Imagined tails slicing through sun warmed water as still growing feet kicked to keep them afloat.

4. Liminal- In most aspects of life, a liminality is constantly hovering. A waiting ship to beam you straight to another galaxy, but as I sit here with reruns of The Golden Girls playing with you, I know there are certainties in life.

5. Unanimous- "You can't get cold, you have enough blubber." "Your brother's friends said you're easy." Unanimously a loner. Broken bones can be reset and mended.

6. Purple- Crimson and azure perfectly blend as the setting sun falls just below snow blanketed hills. I am comforted by the sound of cicadas chirping their nightly lullaby. All is calm and I am fine.

7. Retrograde- "Mercury is in the oven again." And it was Rachel's turn this time to roll her eyes at the text, fingers hovering over the screen while trying to find the perfect emoji to send back. Words useless when all can be blamed on the precise alignment of planets. A simple moon sent and promptly ignored.

8. Wound- I learned at the young age of seven that bleeding will get you whatever you want. The sharp crack of a wooden Louisville Slugger whipping back into my cheekbone, one good scream and a fountain of blood were all it took to garner concern and sympathy. A new translucent purse happily slung over my avian shoulder as I brandished a row of neatly placed stitches under a shining black eye.

9. Interim- In the mean time I'll fill my nights with fantastical ideals of a life that could have been. An in between of realities and make belief as I work my way through my third cup of coffee for the evening. Fingers only warmed by the hot porcelain.

10. Brush- Knitting and twining, snagging and catching. You had always found a way to pull at every single knot. The careful brush of your hand through my hair, the tight leash you kept fixed around my neck, your hands were not meant to ever hold something so delicate.

[twilightt-fantasy]

stress relief [v.kings]

description: the kings worry that their mate is pushing herself too hard.

requested by: n/a

warnings: uhhh none? maybe suggestive content??

this is totally self indulgent bc i just took my state boards for nursing and let me tell you all, i was stressed and definitely could have used these 3 in my life haha. enjoy!! :))

her head was pounding, eyes straining from re-reading the same question that laid in front of her over and over again. the computer screen seemed to get brighter with every passing second, the words jumbling together as she scrambled through her thoughts to find the correct answer.

she had been at this for hours - the never ending cycle of studying and reviewing that she had been stuck in for weeks now. she couldn’t help it though - every moment that passed where she wasn’t studying felt like a waste of time and, with the help of her overthinking, she was convinced that taking a break would mean not passing.

and she refused to accept anything less than a passing result on her test.

this was the biggest test of her life, after all. she had spent years in college preparing for this moment and was terrified now that it was here. this was the moment that defined if she was capable of putting all of her earned knowledge to the test and being competent in her field.

in her eyes anyway.

her kings disagreed with her.

caius, marcus, and aro all agreed that she had this test in the bag. how couldn’t she? she was incredibly smart and driven and had worked her ass off for years to be the best that she could be. there was no doubt in any of their minds that she’d pass and they had each tried to convince her of that multiple times.

but of course, their mate was nothing if not stubborn, and had a hard time seeing reason when she was under this much stress.

the test was in three days, which meant even more time studying and preparing and more migraines, irritability, stress and anxiety.

she reread the question again and then the answer choices, racking her brain for the answer before finally deciding on her best guess and sighing. the girl reached up to rub her temples with one hand, her other reaching for the glass of water to drink in an attempt to settle the pounding behind her eyes.

behind her, aro watched his mate with narrowed eyes. as one of her mates, he easily picked up on her emotions and was not very pleased with the amount of stress she had placed on herself as of late. she had always been an overachiever in school, always had bad test anxiety and held herself to high standards in relation to grades. but to him, this was excessive.

“how many more questions do you have until that test is over?” aro asked, catching the full attention of both caius and marcus, who were only half paying attention before.

“i don’t know.” she mumbled, answering the next question easily before moving on.

caius rolled his eyes from his spot on the bed before he flashed over behind his mate, the girl not even flinching at his sudden appearance. he peered over her shoulder at the screen before turning back to marcus and aro and holding up five fingers.

caius sat back then, the three of them waiting patiently as she finished the practice exam and viewed her passing result before he sat back up and turned off the monitor.

“hey!” she spun around, her red-rimmed eyes glaring hard at caius. “what are you doing?”

“you’re done.” he said, sternly. “you’ve been at this for hours and it’s nearly midnight. you’re done.”

“no.” she spoke back, her voice raising as she pointed a finger back at the screen. “my test is in three days and i’m not ready.”

“yes you are.” marcus argued before caius could answer with something that wouldn’t help the situation. “and taking a break to sleep is not going to affect anything anyway, especially when you can hardly focus on the questions.”

a lump grew in the back of her throat but she fought past it, ready to argue some more. aro raised his hand, before standing himself and moving beside caius. he gripped her hand is his, his other moving up to rest on her forehead. she sighed, the coldness of aro’s skin relieving the headache she hadn’t fully realized she had.

“cara mia, please take a break. eat a snack, take a nap. and the next two days you can study for a few hours at a time.”

“aro…” her eyes were pleading as she looked up at him but he wouldn’t give in. marcus had appeared to grab her other hand and aro moved back as marcus pulled her out of the chair.

“no arguing, dearest.” marcus pushed her towards the bathroom in their shared rooms, dropping her hand in order to turn on the shower. “take a shower and relax. when you get out, we can do whatever you want for the rest of the night.”

she seemed to debate it, her heavy eyes darting from between her kings to the shower, her lip disappearing between her teeth. “you three are free tonight?”

“for as long as you need us to be, tesoro.” caius answered and the girl sighed again, rolling her shoulders and neck as she did. she stood silent for a few more moments, before the weight of her exhaustion finally hit her and she stepped closer to her kings.

her head fell onto marcus’ chest and his hand reached up to her hair, fingers curling through her strands as she stood there. caius and aro joined them a moment later, aro’s fingers gently massaging the back of her neck while caius kissed her shoulder.

“get in the shower, love.” caius spoke again as steam began to fill the bathroom. “afterwards, no more thinking about that test until tomorrow.”

“okay.” she murmured, pressing a kiss to each of their lips before finally moving towards the shower.

the three left her to relax, barely making it back towards the main living quarters before they heard her call out. “if you’re so worried about how stressed i am, you three could help me find a little relief!”

they were back in the bathroom in the blink of an eye.

* a few days later*

“i passed! i passed! i passed!” an excited voice echoed down the corridors, growing closer and louder with every word. fast footsteps pounded down the hallway towards the throne room, where the three kings sat conversing before the next trial.

the three kings shared smiles as their human mate continued to approach the throne room and they stood to greet her, each of them wearing a proud smile and assuring her that they never doubted her for a second.

[graychrissy]

🎀VOID IS EASY🎀

Dear friends I would like to say void is easy,super easy easier then cooking,easier then driving car,easier then whatever you think is easy. I'm telling you🤭.

Ok but have you guys ever noticed how most of the success comes from the simple basic one rather then complicated ones. And once they success they always tell how easy it was to enter void BECAUSE IT IS.

What I learn is basically stop overthinking. Literally just stop. Even if you're getting negative thought just let it pass. I'm being honest right now I had thousands of negative thought and doubts coming up when I was monitoring my thoughts but I didn't react I just let it pass. Slowly every thoughts start to disappear.

Do not ask yourself questions like "am I in void"?" "Did I reached void?" Because you'll know when you reach there it doesn't even take long because you'll busy monitoring the thoughts.

Also being patient is imo important because we tend to get excited and impatient when we try to enter void in hopes of getting all our desires. When we had to do is watch our thoughts,not pay attention to the 3d and not reacting to the negative thought.

I didn't really explain how I enter void in detail because I was excited,so let me tell you here. So I have been embodying my alter ego Venus she can enter void easily but let me tell you you don't have to embody anyone seriously BUT I'm not stopping anyone if you want you can do it. Anyways I was doing house chores then I workout a little after that I got tired and was just scrolling through Tumblr when I saw bee's post and thought let's try it mind you I didn't had any expectations but I was motivated to try it. So I sat up and start monitoring my thoughts and got many negative thoughts but I kept going,I wasn't impatient nor excited. Then slowly the thoughts fade away and I was in void.I stare at the black void and affirm for my desires only two though cuz shifting is my biggest desire.

Just few minutes ago I tried again and guess who entered void for the second time? Me🤭.

This reminded of the void success from reddit so I link it down below.

[moonselune]

If possible, could we get something with Wyll, Gale, and Astarion with a Tav who has a hard time sleeping due to overthinking? It's the dead of night, and when they ask Tav why they can't sleep, Tav just hits them with "I'm afraid I'll wake up and you won't love me anymore"

Also remember to drink water ^^

Drink water folks not alcohol ! (hides glass of fizz I'm currently drinking whilst writing this)

Wyll:

The camp was quiet, the only sounds being the crackling of the dying fire and the distant hooting of an owl. Wyll lay beside you, his arm draped protectively over your waist. You stared at the stars, your mind racing with a torrent of thoughts. Despite your best efforts, sleep eluded you. Wyll shifted slightly, sensing your restlessness.

"Can't sleep?" he murmured, his voice a soft rumble in the stillness.

You sighed, turning to face him, the worry evident in your eyes. "No, I can't. My mind won't stop," you admitted, feeling a lump in your throat.

He propped himself up on one elbow, concern etched on his face. "What's troubling you, love?" he asked gently, his hand brushing a strand of hair away from your face.

Taking a deep breath, you hesitated before finally confessing, "I'm afraid I'll wake up and you won't love me anymore."

Wyll's eyes widened, a look of profound sadness crossing his features. "Oh, my heart," he whispered, his voice thick with emotion. "Why would you ever think that?"

Tears welled up in your eyes as you tried to find the words. "I… I don't know. I guess I'm just scared that one day you'll realize I'm not good enough," you confessed, your voice trembling.

He pulled you into a tight embrace, his warmth enveloping you. "Listen to me," he said, his voice firm yet tender. "You are more than enough. My love for you is unwavering. Nothing will ever change that."

You clung to him, his words soothing your frayed nerves. "Thank you, Wyll," you whispered, feeling a weight lift from your chest.

He kissed the top of your head, his lips lingering. "We'll get through this together," he promised. "Now, try to rest. I'll be right here, watching over you."

Gale:

The camp was bathed in the soft glow of moonlight, the fire reduced to glowing embers. Gale sat beside you, reading a book by the light of a small magical orb. You lay next to him, staring up at the canopy of trees, your mind a whirlpool of anxiety. Sighing heavily, you shifted, trying to find a comfortable position.

Gale glanced at you, his brow furrowing with concern. "Is something keeping you awake, my love?" he asked, closing his book and giving you his full attention.

You turned to face him, your eyes reflecting your inner turmoil. "I can't stop thinking," you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper.

He reached out, gently taking your hand in his. "Tell me what's on your mind," he encouraged, his tone soothing.

You hesitated, then took a deep breath. "I'm afraid I'll wake up and you won't love me anymore," you confessed, feeling vulnerable and exposed.

Gale's eyes widened in surprise, a look of confusion crossing his face. "Why would you think such a thing?" he asked, genuinely puzzled. "My love for you is as constant as the stars in the sky."

You shrugged, feeling a lump form in your throat. "I don't know. I guess I'm just scared that one day you'll realize you deserve better," you admitted, your voice shaking.

He squeezed your hand, his expression softening. "You are everything I've ever wanted and more," he said earnestly. "My love for you is unshakable. Please, don't doubt that."

You felt a wave of relief wash over you at his words. "Thank you, Gale," you whispered, your voice thick with emotion.

He leaned in, pressing a tender kiss to your forehead. "Let's try to get some rest," he said softly. "We'll face tomorrow together."

Astarion:

The night was still, the campfire reduced to glowing embers. Astarion lay beside you, his eyes closed but his senses alert. You tossed and turned, unable to quiet the racing thoughts in your mind. With a frustrated sigh, you sat up, hugging your knees to your chest.

Astarion's eyes opened, glinting with curiosity. "Can't sleep, my dear?" he asked, his voice laced with playful frustration.

You glanced at him, your anxiety evident. "No, I can't," you admitted. "My mind won't stop overthinking."

He propped himself up on one elbow, his gaze fixed on you. "And what, pray tell, is keeping you awake at this ungodly hour?" he asked, a hint of amusement in his tone.

Taking a deep breath, you hesitated before finally confessing, "I'm afraid I'll wake up and you won't love me anymore."

Astarion's expression shifted from amusement to playful frustration. "Oh, for the love of… You really think I'd be that capricious?" he asked, shaking his head. "You are being utterly ridiculous, my sweet."

You looked down, feeling a mix of embarrassment and anxiety. "I guess I'm just scared," you admitted softly. "Scared that one day you'll realize you deserve better."

Astarion reached out, gently lifting your chin so your eyes met his. "Listen to me," he said, his voice taking on a serious tone. "I chose you for a reason. You are captivating, charming, and utterly irreplaceable. Don't be so foolish as to doubt my feelings for you."

A small smile tugged at your lips, his words easing your fears. "Thank you, Astarion," you whispered, feeling a warmth spread through your chest.

He rolled his eyes playfully, but there was a genuine warmth in his gaze. "Now, can we please get some sleep?" he teased. "I promise I'll still be here in the morning, loving you just as fiercely."

You laughed softly, the tension melting away. "Alright," you agreed, lying back down beside him. "Goodnight, Astarion."

"Goodnight, my love," he murmured, pulling you close and wrapping his arms around you. "Sleep well."

I just wanna hug and smooch them all, hope you enjoyed this! - Seluney xox

[sardonic-the-writer]

𝐌𝐞𝐫𝐜𝐬 𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐀 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐈𝐬 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐥𝐲 𝐂𝐫𝐮𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐎𝐧 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐦 𝐖𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐈𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐝𝐞

↳ includes: scout, soldier, medic, and spy

↳ warnings: mentions of surgery and alcohol

↳ song: runaround sue—dion

masterlist | commissions | carrd

𝐒𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐭

• He’s such a doofus. It takes him at least a month to pick up on it

• The entire time you’re flirting or making moves on him, he’ll jokingly reciprocate it under the impression that you’re just joshing around

• It takes one of the other team members approaching him for the mercenary to realize what was actually going on

• “Son.” Engineer had sighed as he stood in the doorway to Scout’s very messy room, “You do realize they like you?”

• Scout’s very dismissive and red faced about it

• “What? Psh. Stop messing with me, Engie. Don't you have sentries to build or somethin’?”

• The second Engineer leaves, he’s practically tearing up his room in a tirade of emotions

• Overthinks the past few months with you way too much. Practically wears a spot into the floor from all the nervous pacing he does

• In the end, Scout confronts you to ask you out

• Tries to be formal, but we all saw how that turned out with Miss Pauling. Eventually just gives up on trying to be suave— and not succeeding —to blurt out what he’s thinking

• “So, uh, yeah. I’m not so. Er. Good at this sappy stuff, but there’s a Tom Jones museum I think we could go check out. Together.” Scout pauses, accent only getting thicker with worry, “Alone. Y’know?”

• Over the moon when you say yes. All nerves dissipate and are immediately replaced with a cross between a smug and relieved victory

• If you look close enough at his ears, they’re a little pink

𝐒𝐨𝐥𝐝𝐢𝐞𝐫

• If he hasn’t known you for long, Soldier will actually just chalk your actions up to being a communist spy

• A very exasperated Demoman had to get Miss Pauling to bring in heavily classified paperwork on you just to prove to him you weren’t a commie

• “Very well maggot! I’ll believe you— for now! Sleep with one eye open!” Soldier had barked, slamming down your file on the dining room table as a tired Pauling watched. You noted that the papers were upside down, and you doubt he even read them. Or that he could read

• He’s very blunt with everything. Words, actions, emotions, etc. Doesn’t understand why other people can’t just do the same. It would make conversation so much easier to him

• So he’s not oblivious to your attention per se. Just very curious, I suppose

• It takes maybe less than two weeks after the Communist Incident, as Demo had dubbed it, for him to corner you

• “Maggot! Do you find me attractive?” He demanded

• You’d been eating breakfast at the time, and almost choked to death on your laughter at the question

• “Short answer, yes.” You gasped through wheezy laughter, the volume only increasing at the frown on Soldiers face. “Follow up question; is that really how you just asked if I had a crush on you?”

• Nods and booms back that he thinks you’re also easy on the eyes. Proposes the idea of doing a training course with you sometime. Breaks out into a crooked grin when you accept

• “Excellent! I expect you up at oh five hundred for the course tomorrow!” He saluted you, which was Soldier equivalent to a bone crushing hug of respect

• You returned it, and missed the way his eyes crinkled with happiness behind the brim of his helmet

𝐌𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐜

• Always so consumed in his work that he probably just ends up finding out from Archemedies

• The birds had always been allowed to rest on your shoulder while he performed risqué experiments on you, acting as a distraction from the feeling of someone sifting around in your guts

• I guess the dove had picked up on one too many looks you’d tossed the ex-doctors way

• To this day, no one can understand how the two of them can communicate, but one thing leads to another and suddenly Medic is looming in your doorframe silently

• “What’s up, doc?” You’d greeted him with a Bug’s Bunny quote and a grin. Medics lips only twitched up slightly as he pushed his glasses back up the brim of his nose

• “A little bird told me zhat someone has a crush, ja?” He barreled right into the topic, leaving no room for you to prepare for the sudden accusation. Medics scrutinizing gaze didn’t miss the way your eyes glanced in the direction of his lab, no doubt silently cursing Archemedies

• “No need to fear, freund.” He unclasped his gloved hands from behind his back and approached you. “I simply am here to offer you a deal.”

• Turns out the deal was a chance talk over cheap beer in his office. Pretty rare, considering how much of his time Medic chose to dedicate to work

• “I’ll take it.” You shook his hand, briefly noting how large it seemed even when compared to you

• “Vunderbar, mein schatz.” Medic smiled gently, leaving you to wonder what he had just said

𝐒𝐩𝐲

• There is no hiding when it comes to this French fuck

• Spy immediately picks up on every glance. Every chance of avoided eye contact and unnecessary clearing of a throat

• Suddenly he seems to be a lot more talkative towards you than normal. Hanging out by your side at gatherings rather than a dark corner with cigarette smoke curling around his head

• Fleeting touches slowly begin to sprinkle themselves in between conversation. A hand on the shoulder here, and a brief touch to the pulse point there

• The first time he did the latter, he noticed how fast your heart was beating and couldn’t stop himself from letting out a slight chuckle

• If he was nicer, Spy would definitely take action and approach your first. In fact, sometimes he almost finds himself wanting to

• But the man knows how people work. If you truly wanted to pursue him, you would come around eventually. No point in making rash decisions. He was a patient man, after all

• A small part of his ego preened at the thought of making you work for it

• And come around you did eventually did

• Finds himself opening the door to his smoking room one late night only to be met with the image of a very frazzled looking you

• You rush out something about a date too fast for his ears to catch. Spy is simply too busy letting his eyes roam over your casual cloathing and slight fidgeting. The crooning of an old French record plays from behind him as he blinks down at you

• “Would you like to come in?” He finally sighs out, opening the door a little wider in the form of an invitation

• By the time you manage to get inside, you notice he already had a wine glass set out for you

[the-oblivious-writer]

Let the Light In |5|

Tara Carpenter x Fem!Reader

Chapter Five: Shit-faced

Summary: It's been weeks and Tara was still avoiding you, but that doesn't stop you from looking out for her

Warning(s): Swearing, smoking, mentions of underage drinking, intoxication & panic attack

Notes: I reaaally hope this suffices. I tried my best, I swear. I think this is the longest chap I've done for this series so far (5,162 words, usually it's right under 5k words) Shoutout to @iamnodens for giving me some inspiration. Sparked an idea for a plot-line I wanna pursue

Masterlist|Previous Part|Next Part

Anika saw you check your phone for the millionth time that night. “Come on, this is supposed to be a movie night. Not ‘check your phone a million times’ night,” Anika spoke up. You faced your phone back down. 

“Sorry,” you mumbled. Anika looked over at you then back at the TV before speaking again. “Who has you so anxious?” She asked and you rolled your eyes. 

“No one,” you say in a dry tone before grabbing the popcorn bowl and shoving a handful in your mouth. Your roommate let out a doubtful hum before turning her attention back to the TV.

Your right leg began to bounce as your thoughts once again led you to an overthinking spiral. It didn’t take long for you to think of the worst. You didn’t want Tara to never talk to you again. As much as you hated to admit it; along the way you started to enjoy Tara’s company. 

There were times where she could brighten your mood when no one else could. Tara may not have known, but the weekend you were in Brooklyn you were having a panic attack when she messaged you.

Texting back and forth with Tara seemed to eventually calm you down. You would never forget that moment, and although the younger Carpenter had no idea how much she had helped you, you knew. 

“If you bounce your leg any harder you’ll put a hole through the floor,” Anika remarked, pulling you from your memories. “Sorry,” you muttered back.

“Don’t be…what’s got you like this huh?” You start to play with your fingers. You sighed, debating whether or not you wanted to open up to Anika. 

“It’s just that– girl from before still hasn’t talked to me and I guess you were right; it’s a hundred percent getting to me.” 

Anika raised her eyebrows at you before responding,“She really must be if you’re admitting you were wrong. Have you tried confronting her about it?” 

You let out a frustrated huff. “She always swerves away from me. I sent a text but I don’t wanna seem desperate.” You looked at Anika to see her giving you a deadpan look. “What?” You asked, feeling clueless.

She sighed, rubbing the bridge of her nose before answering. “Okay, listen up. I know you have never been a bright communicator, but come on. Only sending one text? At this point you might as well just corner her if you refuse to send her no more than that,” she chuckled dryly.

You sat there, genuinely considering that as an option. Anika watched as you thought about it and started to shake her head at you. “Y/N…no. I didn’t mean to literally corner her.”

“Fine.”

—

You patted your hands dry in the restaurant’s restroom. You looked in the mirror—making sure you were put together before walking out—but then suddenly saw a familiar face in your reflection. It was only for a moment but in that single moment you felt your breathing grow ragged, heart racing and stood frozen. You tightly gripped the counter, closing your eyes and murmuring to yourself. 

“He’s not here. He’s not here. He’s not here. It’s all in your head. It’s all in your hea—”

“Y/N?” You heard. You exhaled and turned to face the voice.

No, no, no, no…Why is she here?

“Tara.” You replied, you were on the brink of tears as you tried to control your breathing. She quickly noticed the state you were in and carefully walked up to you. You took one step back, moving away from her. She looked at you again before gently placing a hand on your bicep.

“Y/N, are you okay?” Tara asked you in a gentle voice.

“Fine.” You murmured before quickly walking out of the bathroom. You ignored the worried glances you received from Henry and Anika, walking outside and leaning against a pillar. 

You tried everything; you closed your eyes and focused on your breathing, you counted, and even tried the three three three rule. But nothing was working. You felt your right hand creep up your chest as it subconsciously gripped it. Your knees felt weak, as if they would buckle from under you. 

You fumbled in your pocket for a cigarette and lighter. You held the smoked cigarette to your lips, breathing it in and out. Your free hand’s fingers anxiously tapped on your thigh as you smoked. You felt like the world would collapse from beneath you, nothing to catch or save you. You started going down another spiral when suddenly you heard someone. 

“Hey…” You looked to your left to see Tara once again. 

“I swear I didn’t know you were gonna be here. Sam and I just decided to eat out since it’s not everyday she gets off from both jobs.” Tara said, moving to lean beside you.

“That’s nice,” you replied, putting out your cigarette and throwing it.

“Yeah…it is.” Tara smiled to herself as she said that. “Are you doing a little better now?” She asked you with a light nudge to your shoulder as she looked up at you.

“I guess.” Was all you answered with. Tara slightly nodded, before looking back ahead. 

After a couple minutes of silence, you finally spoke up. “Why’ve you been ignoring me?” You asked without looking at her, your voice quiet. You looked down at your shoes, both hands in your pockets.

“I haven’t been…” Tara trailed off. She knew she was. She was fully aware of it. But, she wasn’t ready to tell you why.

“Yeah…okay,” you sighed, lifting yourself up from the pillar.

“See you around, Carpenter.” You made your way back into the restaurant. Tara stayed outside a little longer before going back to her own table.

You both glanced at each other from across the room while the other wasn’t looking. 

—

You sat on the random couch while wearing a grumpy expression. Henry had, once again, dragged you to another party. The place was too crowded, sweat was everywhere, the burning smell of the alcohol was stronger than usual—to you at least—and Henry had gone off to God knows where. You just wanted out of this frat house.

The only thing keeping you sane was the company of Anika and Mindy. You didn’t talk to Mindy much in high school but she seemed cool. Anika and her were discussing couples costumes for halloween when suddenly you heard your name.

“What do you think, Y/N?” Your roommate asked as she sat in her girlfriend's lap on the love seat beside you.  

“What do I think about what?”

“You think we could rock a zombie bride and groom for a couples costume this year?” Mindy asked for Anika.

“Yeah, you’d guys be awesome for that,” you answered in a monotone voice. You didn’t look at them as you spoke, staring off at a random spot in the room. Suddenly your eyes caught something that made your breath catch in your throat.

“Y/N? What’s the matter?” Anika asked. Mindy also furrowed her eyebrows at you, but then all their answers were answered when they followed your eye line.

There Chad was with his tongue down Tara’s throat.

There was no reason to have cared as much as you did. There was no reason the pain in your chest should be growing. There’s no reason for this to hit you as hard as it did. You and Tara weren’t dating, you didn’t like her—no, you didn’t. You couldn’t. You were just caught off guard. Yeah, that’s it. You never thought about Chad and Tara together so you’re just in some form of shock.

What about the chest pain? The feeling of your heart being ripped out–

Heartburn. 

It was just heartburn, that was all it was. Nothing more, nothing less. 

Suddenly you felt a hand touch your arm. You lightly flinch before looking to your left, seeing it was Anika. Why did they both look at you with such pity?

“Hey, how about we call it a night, yeah?” You nodded.

After Mindy and Anika kissed each other goodbye, you two started to make your way out before a thought told you to reach into your pocket. Empty.

“I think my phone slipped out of my pocket while I was sitting on the couch,” You told Anika and she waited in the car as you went inside to get it.

By the time you got back to the couch somebody was already sitting, and of course it had to be Tara. “Looking for this?” she smugly asked, pulling out your phone and showing it to you.

You let out a sigh of relief before trying to reach for your phone, but the minute you almost grab it, Tara pulls it back behind her back.

“Tara, not right now.” You really weren’t in the mood for this. 

You sighed as you saw multiple stains on her shirt. “Someone’s in a mood,” she remarked, still looking up at you with a smile you couldn’t quite read.

“I’m not—” you sighed again, “—you have stains all over your shirt by the way. You’re a complete mess right now,” you murmured the last part, sitting down next to her trying to reach for your phone behind her but she’s quick. She pulls away again without thinking before responding.

“You know you pronounce your R’s in a funny way? Like, you say stuff like shirts and shorts but when you say them they sound the exact same. And then it’s, like, which one is it?” Tara rambled on. 

You sat there, silently listening to every single word. You couldn’t help the slight smile that grazed your face. It was nice hearing her voice again after so long. 

“Then I remembered you’re from Brooklyn, and you know what that means?”

“No, tell me,” you said, wanting to hear her ramble for a little longer.

“Brooklyn accent. So, that’s why you do that cute thing with your R’s!” You suddenly felt heat rush to your cheeks. Cute? Tara had used you and cute in the same sentence. She is completely plastered. 

“Tara! Ethan and I are gonna play beer pong!” You both looked over to see Chad calling from the other side of the room. 

You looked back at Tara, “I should go. See you, princess.” You got up, but suddenly felt a hand gently grasp your wrist. You looked down at her as you stood. She opened her mouth for a couple seconds before shutting it.

“You probably need this,” Tara pulled out your phone and placed it in your hand for you. The amount of contact she was giving you caused a flutter in your chest. 

“I’m probably gonna head home,” she slurred. You bit the inside of your cheek as you grew concerned about her going home on her own in the state she was in.

“Mindy said you drove with Chad?” 

“Mm, yeah. He doesn’t mind me driving myself home though. He said he’d—” she hiccupped, “—get a ride with Ethan.”

“Well I do mind. You’re too drunk to drive Tara.” She just stared up at you as you spoke. “You can stay over,” you lightly sighed as you offered your hand to her.

Tara bit her lip as she continued to stare up at you, but after a beat of silence she took your hand—not without tripping, causing her to fall into your arms.

“You okay?” You asked in a soft voice, and she simply nodded her head as she continued to look at you.

Tara had so much to tell you, but she stopped herself before she could.

You both walked out to your car—Tara clinging on to your arm as she walked like she had two left feet. You never thought Tara Carpenter could be any more clumsy than she already was, but here you were. 

You opened the car door, “Sorry that it took so long.” 

“I see you didn’t just bring back your phone,” Anika remarked, not hiding her knowing look. You strapped Tara in the backseat, making sure she was comfortable, before going to the driver’s seat.

“She’s too drunk to be her own ride, so I offered,” you responded. You gave Tara one last glance from the rear view mirror—which didn’t go unnoticed by Anika—to see that Tara was already passed out. You started to pull out and made your way to your apartment. There wasn’t much talking on the ride over. The only sound coming from the car was the music, but even that was put at a low volume. You tried your best to avoid the holes so Tara could sleep fine. You cursed your government for not using your taxes to fill holes with more cement. 

By the time you got to your apartment Tara was still sound asleep. You told Anika she could get a head start and that you would catch up with her. After she left you got out of our seat and walked around your car to open the door to Tara’s seat. You placed a gentle hand on her shoulder.

“Tara…we’re here,” you whispered in a soft tone. Tara only shuffled slightly but never opened her eyes. You lightly squeezed her shoulder, “Come on. We’re here…”

You slightly shook your head.

“...You’re so lucky I live on the second floor.” You scooped her up and she subconsciously nuzzled her head in the nook of your neck. You carried her up the apartment stairs, and once you got to the door you knocked with your head—since your hands were obviously full at the moment.

That night, you didn’t mind sleeping on the couch.

—

Tara woke up with a pounding headache, causing her to groan as she slowly sat up. She rubbed her eyes, yawning. Suddenly everything came crashing down on her like a tidal wave.

“Shit shit shit,” she looked around for her phone. She couldn’t believe how stupid she was. Sam was going to kill her for sure—if she was actually home? Yeah…she’s going to kill her for sure. 

It didn’t take long for her to realize where she was. “Fuck, not again,” she groaned into her hands. 

If Tara had a nickel for everytime she woke up in your bed she would have two nickels—which isn’t a lot but it’s weird that it happened twice. Before she could retrace her steps there were two knocks on the door. 

“Come in,” She said and you opened the door slightly, peaking your head before fully coming inside. 

“Hi.”

“Hi.”

“I see you’ve, uh, woken up.” You awkwardly stood with your arms crossed.

“Yeah…”

Tara turned her head, closing her eyes and letting out an inaudible sigh before turning back to look at you. “Listen, I’m sorry this is, like, the second time. You shouldn’t have to take care of me while I’m shitfaced.”

You slightly pouted out your bottom lip, faintly shaking your head and waving her off. 

“No problem.”

After a moment you finally break the awkward silence, “Why do you do this?”

“What?”

“This? Go out to parties so often, and have drink after drink?” Tara furrowed her eyebrows at you, not understanding where you were going with this. 

“What do you mean by that?” She asked, feeling offended by the question. 

“I just mean, don’t you get tired of it?”

Tara let out a faint scoff, “I like my life, thank you very much.” She now sat up a little straighter as she looked at you from where you stood. 

“I didn’t mean it like that. Come on, Tara—you know that.” 

“No, I don’t actually,” Tara got up from your bed, making her way to the door. She reached for the handle but you blocked it.

“Stop it, Y/N.”

“No, you stop it. What’s your problem, Carpenter? You really think I wouldn’t notice you ignoring me?” 

Tara opened her mouth to speak but you quickly cut her off. “You even changed your seat in history. How is that nothing?” You hated how vulnerable you felt right now. The hurt was noticeable in your voice.

“I– I just need space…” Tara sighed, running her hands down her space.

“What—why? ...Did I do something?” You asked, feeling yourself grow smaller as she looked back at you. 

Tara saw you staring down at her like a lost puppy. She hated what that was doing to her. She hated how you were able to make her feel things so easily. 

“No! No, I just need space, okay? Not everything’s about you!” Her raised voice caused you to flinch and take a step back; Tara hated herself at that moment. 

“Okay,” you replied in a quiet voice. 

“Y/N I didn’t—”

“If you need anything, Anika’s up.” 

Before Tara could say anything, you were gone. 

—

You knew very little about the person who now sat where Tara previously did. Tara either paid her to switch or the woman really just didn’t mind. You haven’t introduced yourself to her yet.

You heard her name being called once; Charlotte. You were too stubborn to actually ask her for her name. It didn’t take long for Charlotte to pick up on your silence. Truth be told she noticed you in class before. So when Tara approached her about a seat change, she asked no further questions and agreed.

“Hey,” Charlotte finally spoke up one class. “I’m Charlotte, by the way.” You turned your head slightly to look at her. There was no denying her beauty. 

“Y/N,” you simply responded before turning back to your notes. Charlotte turned back to her own work while she mustered her next words. 

“So, you’re not much of a talker huh,” she nervously chuckled. You looked at her from the corner of your eye before averting your stare back to your notes. “I guess,” you murmured.

Throughout class you resisted looking back at Tara, and occasionally Charlotte would miss something so she would politely ask you for your notes, which you then would silently turn your papers for her to see.

You kept your head down and didn’t meet her gaze as you did this, but if you did you would have seen her warm smile; in a way you felt it.

After class you heard footsteps running up to you. You turned around to see Charlotte. “I just wanted to thank you for the notes,” she told you. 

You spared a faint smile before responding, “No problem.” You watched as she took out a little piece of paper and handed it to you. When you took it you could see numbers written on it. 

“I’d love to thank you over a cup of coffee or even dinner or something. That’s my number, so you can call or text whenever you want.” You lightly nodded at her as you looked at the paper.

“See you around, Y/N,” she smiled at you again before taking off. 

“What do we have here?” The voice causes you to jump a bit, before rolling your eyes when you see the culprit. 

“Geez, Anika. Quit sneakin’ up on my like that,” you sighed as you two started walking.

“Maybe if you were more self aware, you would notice your friend being right next to you,” Anika commented. 

“Whatever.”

“Anyways, who was that?”

“Just some chick from my history class,” you said in a nonchalant manner. 

“Does she happen to have your…interest?” She asked you with a quirked up eyebrow. 

You thought for a second before answering. “I guess.”

“ ‘I guess’? Gee. How descriptive.” Anika remarked sarcastically. You rolled your eyes at her, adjusting the strap of your bag.

“I don’t know, okay? I’m still figuring some shit out, but maybe I do.” You shrugged, you and Anika taking a turn.

“By ‘figuring shit out’ do you mean, Tara?” She asked knowingly. That made you do a double take at your roommate. 

“That’s ridiculous,” you scoffed dramatically. 

“You know I overheard that argument you two had, right?” 

“I don’t know exactly what you heard but it’s not what you think,” you sighed, eyes looking everywhere but Anika. You hated when she was right.

“Really? Cause’ it seems like she’s the girl that has you so worked up.”

“Stop it.” You said with annoyance in your tone, growing slightly flustered from being called out.

—

You sat at the seat across from Charlotte . You both eventually had decided to go out on Friday night for dinner. You figured it wouldn’t hurt to take up her offer. So, that’s where you were; sitting in a diner with her across from you. 

Your hands rested on your lap as you listened to her speak. She had cinnamon skin, gorgeous hair and dark brown eyes. You couldn’t help but admire dark brown eyes; they were so easy to drown in. 

“So, enough about me. What about you?” She suddenly asked.

“What about me?” You echoed, taking a sip of your milkshake.

“I want to get to know you. Right now you’re just the quiet girl who I sit next to in history, and cute at that,” she winked at you. 

You lightly blushed at the compliment before replying. “I don’t really know what to say. Mind giving me some starter questions?”

“Okay, you got any siblings?”

“Yup. Two brothers, Stephen and Oliver.”

“You like them?”

“Tolerate’ em.”

She let out a giggle before continuing. “Are you the oldest or youngest?”

“I’m in the middle, actually. Oliver’s the oldest and Stephen’s the youngest.” 

You soon found out she had two sisters and two brothers, both her parents were doctors, and her favorite color’s purple. As the night went on you two found out a little more about one another. It was nice just talking. You weren’t sure if this was a date but the thought hung around in your head.

Would it be so bad if it was?

You walked the city’s streets with Charlotte, your jacket hung from your arm as she hugged her own closely. 

“This was really nice, I’d love to do it again sometime,” She spoke up.

You looked at her then back at the ground, a small smile starting to graze your face. 

“Yeah…that’d be nice,” You said genuinely, before she stopped at an apartment building. 

“Well, this is me.”

“I’ll see you around?”

“Of course,” she smiled at you, placing a kiss on your cheek.

“Goodnight, Y/N,” she said before leaving. 

You stood there, slightly stunned from the kiss. It was no secret that it had been a while since you’ve been in a genuine relationship. 

Maybe—just maybe, Charlotte could be the one to change that. 

—

The next day you went to work your shift. You passed the time like you usually did; if you weren’t serving customers you had music in your ears and cleaning counters that you’ve already wiped down a hundred times before that same day.

The bell above the door rings, but you don’t look up as you say, “Welcome to The Coffee Club.” Your voice was monotone. 

The person stopped in their tracks as soon as they saw you. It wasn’t until they were shoved to the counter by someone beside them that you looked up. 

You opened your mouth as you lifted your head, but quickly shut it as soon you saw the person.

“Oh. It’s you.” Your voice wasn’t laced with bitterness or rudeness, just a slight shock from seeing her here. If your voice was not a give away of that then your expression definitely was. Your eyes were widened a bit, your eyebrows were raised and you almost looked…flushed? 

“Uh, what can I get you?” You asked, clearing your throat and trying to sound unfazed by her presence.

“Um, just a…” Tara trailed off as she suddenly forgot what she came here for. Mindy looked between you two.

“Hot chocolate?” You finished for Tara. All Tara could do was nod at you. 

“And I’ll have a hot coffee; milk and sugar please,” Mindy spoke up, breaking whatever staring contest you and Tara had going on.

“I’ll, uh, get on that right now.” You put your pen behind your ear. Tara and Mindy sat at a table nearby as you prepared their orders. 

“What was that?” 

Tara groaned at her friend, holding her face with her hands. “I don’t know. I had completely forgotten she works here most days,” she answered, her voice coming out slightly muffled due to her hand still covering her face. 

“You’re still giving her the silent treatment, aren’t you?” Mindy asked even though she already knew the answer.

“Well, I uh…kind of made it worse…”

“How?” Mindy asked, slightly dragging out the H while furrowing her eyebrows.

“We had a bit of an argument last week,” Tara answered, the memories of that morning painfully flashing through her mind.

“About what?”

“I snapped at her over something really stupid, and—God I can’t stop thinking about her face when I did that.” Tara let out a breath she didn’t even realize she was holding in. 

“By snapped, what do you mean, like, you yelled at her or something?” Tara sighed and nodded, looking away—feeling ashamed of herself.

“I think you two just need to talk, for real this time.” 

“I don’t want to—” She inhaled, looking down at her hands. 

“Don’t want to what?”

“Hurt her again…” Tara answered in a quiet voice. 

“Tar, listen to me, you’re one of the best people I know, and you can be gentle when you want to be. Just be you,” Mindy told her honestly.

“Maybe when you two finally make up you can make that dream you had a reality and make out already—”

“Mindy!”

Before Tara could say anything else, you walked up to the table with their drinks.

“One hot coffee with milk and sugar, and a hot chocolate,” you repeated their order. Mindy said thank you, and so did Tara—not without Mindy kicking her under the table to do so—before taking a sip of the steaming hot drink.

The mug covered her eye line, so she didn’t see you sneak a Strawberry donut with sprinkles—or as she likes to call it, a Homer Simpson donut—in front of her. By the time she did notice you were already gone.

You had a habit of disappearing without saying goodbye. 

When Mindy and Tara finished, they made their way back to the apartment. They walked into the apartment to find Chad and Ethan playing Resident Evil four. 

“You’re still playing this game?” Tara inquired, pulling off her jacket and throwing it somewhere. Mindy let out a slight chuckle before making her way to the kitchen.

“All. Fucking. Day.” Sam replied, coming into the living room. 

“I don’t blame them. Have you seen Ada?”

“They haven’t gotten up in seven hours.”

“I got it,” was all Tara said, before walking away.

Five seconds later she came back with a spray bottle.

—

The doorbell rings, interrupting you mid sentence as you were on the phone with Anika. 

“Hey, I gotta go. Talk to ya later?” You said your goodbyes to each other before walking up to the door. You weren’t sure who could be visiting but whoever it was was growing impatient. 

“Alright, alright! I’m coming,” you called out, walking up to the door. 

You finally unlocked and opened it to—unexpectedly—Tara. This took you by surprise which was evident from your expression. There wasn’t much to go off from but Tara’s known you long enough to read even your littlest details. 

“Hi.”

“Hi.” There was a beat of awkward silence before Tara finally spoke up again.

“Can I come in? I need to talk to you,” she told you. You responded by opening the door wider, letting her inside the apartment. 

Her eyes wandered around the room before landing them back on you. You quickly averted your gaze, realizing you have been staring at the younger Carpenter a little too long. 

“Been a while since I’ve been here,” Tara said, sitting down on the couch.

You let out a dry chuckle before responding. “You’re telling me…” 

Tara noticed you were still standing, choosing to lean against the wall rather than sit near her. Just then, she remembered why she came here.

“So, what do you want?” You asked unkindly. 

Tara took a second to muster what she wanted to say. She didn’t want to mess this up. She didn’t want to say the wrong thing this time. 

She didn’t want to hurt you again.

“I’m sorry.” 

“What?” You raised an eyebrow, not expecting an apology. 

“I’m sorry for yelling at you, and I’m sorry for blatantly avoiding you for the past few weeks,” she said in one breath. 

“Wait—I wasn’t expecting an apology. I thought you were gonna yell at me again or something,” you poorly joked with a dry chuckle. 

“That wasn’t my best moment,” she said with shame in her voice. She could never forget your face that morning or how you backed away from her as if she would hurt you. 

You looked down at your shoes, considering Tara’s words. You should get your revenge—make her pay for the past few weeks. But instead you decided against it, for whatever reason, you decided against it. Maybe it was her voice as she spoke, maybe it was the bags under her eyes, or maybe it was just simply her. Whatever it was, it caused you to let her off easy.

“I’ll accept your apology on one condition.”

“Anything,” Tara replied, a little too quickly. 

“Stop avoiding me,” you said in a softer voice, and you slowly began to take the seat beside her. 

“Deal,” Tara promised, looking at you.

“Pinky swear?” You held up your pinky, for her take.

Tara couldn’t help the smile that grew as she took your pink in hers. 

“Pinky swear.” 

“Now that you’re not avoiding me anymore, you wanna go over last class’s notes?” Already moving on as if she hadn’t been giving you the silent treatment for the past for weeks, and you weren’t still curious as to why.

Your pinkies unlocked, Tara missing the contact.

“Well, you know how much I looove doing that,” Tara sarcastically answered. 

“Ha. Ha.” You got up from the couch, “I’m gonna go get my binder. Give me like two seconds.” You said before rushing away to your room like a child who was having a playdate, rushing off to grab a toy for you and your friend to play with. 

Tara couldn’t stop smiling to herself at the sight of you. It had been far too long since she’s seen you one on one like this. She hated to admit it but she missed you more than she realized. Now that she was thinking about it, she missed a lot of things about you; your smile, your voice, your humor, how you lit up a room with just your presence, even that fuzzy feeling you gave her.

Oh.

Oh, Mindy was right. Tara had somehow found herself crushing on you.

“Fuck.”

-----------

A/N: Platonic!Chara>>> (dw gonna do that justice later)

I wonder who R saw in the mirror...

Taglist: @t-wylia @lesbianpepsi @jennasfav @alyciaddict @justafoolinlove @steffido1993 @niqmandu @severelyuniquereview @darklron @ravenousinferno @smut-religiously777 @beautifulmongerbanditsalad @vanatalye @alexkolax @andsoigotabutterfly

[joeys-babe]

Joey B Imagines: Honeymoon*

————————————————————————

summary: you had given birth to your beautiful baby girl just under a year before you and joe got married. to make the honeymoon something to look even more forward to, you decided to wait till then to have sex for the first time since giving birth.

warnings: smut

pairing: joe burrow x reader

————————————————————————

(y/n’s pov)

joe was getting antsy, that's for sure.

it was honeymoon night and he was excited for what was about to happen next.

he was standing behind me, holding our leftovers in his hands as i tried to use the key to open.

i felt him shift behind me. he was looking over my shoulder. im guessing trying to figure out what was taking so long.

"here give me the key." - joe

"no. it's okay, i got it." - you

"give me the key." - joes voice grew stern. he wasn't offering, he was demanding

he handed me the leftovers from the restaurant we had just left as i gave him the key.

joe got the door open and quickly walked in, he moved out of the way so i could follow him and then he closed and locked the door behind me.

i walked over to the fridge and put the food up, knowing joe was watching me.

"baby.. can we go to bed?" - joe

"yeah lemme shower first." - you looked at him innocently, playing dumb

"that's not what i- you know what never mind. i'll be waiting for you in here, okay?" - joe

"okay joey." - you

i left joe alone and walked into the master suite, in all honesty i wasn't about to shower. i was gonna use this time to get ready for what usually leads to a shower.

i turned the water on to be safe, i didn't want him to hear me opening my suitcase up.

unzipping my bag, i dug to the bottom and grabbed the lace black lingerie that had been hiding.

slipping it on, i felt so confident in it but i definitely still had my doubts.

after that i re-curled some pieces of my hair that had fallen.

for the next 10 minutes i just sat in the bathroom scrolling through my phone, not exactly stalling but also trying to kill some time.

i wanted to make sure sam was asleep so i called my best friend, alexa.

"are you and joe not fucking right now?" - alexa

"oh my god, no. i'm in the bathroom alone." - you

"okay.. what's up?" - alexa

"i just wanted to talk, we really haven’t talked since the wedding yesterday." - you

“uhm.. okay?” - alexa

"so like how've you been?" - you

"y/n.. what are you stalling for?" - alexa

"i'm not stalling!" - you

"you just got very defensive, why are you hiding in the bathroom?" - alexa

"okay so.. im literally in the bathroom wearing lingerie stalling because i'm scared" - you

"of what?!" - alexa

"what if joe doesn't like how i look.. my body has changed a lot after having the baby and i'm scared he's not gonna find me attractive anymore." - you

"y/n burrow. you're speaking nonsense." - alexa

"i- i'm just scared" - you

"you really think joe isn't gonna like how you look? you know he's obsessed with you, i'm sure he's already tried to make moves on you today. no way he'd pass up the chance of joining the mile high club with you on your way there." - alexa

"okay yeah he has been making moves, but i'm still worried!" - you

"don't overthink it. are you just going to walk up to him in it?" - alexa

"uh no, i was thinking about putting something over it. i brought one of his jerseys, but i could also use one of the robes here" - you

"no use the jersey, i'm gonna go now. good look, babe!" - alexa

"thanks.." - you

she hung up and i let out a loud sigh.

i turned the water off and quietly slipped into the bedroom, making my way over to my suitcase and unzipping it.

grabbing the jersey i ran my hand over the letters on the back. it was something about seeing my new last name on the back.

i put it on and smoothed it out as i took a deep breath and started down the hallway.

when i got to the end of the hallway i saw joe sitting on the couch shirtless. the tv was on but he wasn't watching it, when i looked over his shoulder i saw that he was looking at the wedding pictures that we had just received.

i put my hands over his eyes, he jumped slightly but he quickly realized it was just me.

"guess who?" - you

"uhhh... i have no idea. is that you coach??" - joe

i laughed slightly before taking my hands off and walking in front of him.

"holy shit." - joes eyes scanned your body

he dropped his phone next to him, making it known that his full attention was on me.

"you like what ya see?" - you did a slow spin

after i did my spin and i was facing him again, seeing the look in his eyes made my stomach drop.

"fuck yeah." - joe

i moved forward and straddled him.

wrapping my arms around his neck as his arms snaked around my waist, i let my lips fall to his.

"you're all mine." - joe mumbled into the kiss

his hands migrated to my hips as he started moving me back and forth, grinding me against him.

still grinding against him, his lips left mine as his kisses wandered down to my neck, there were definitely going to be visible marks.

as he was sucking on my neck i let out a moan and grabbed onto his hair causing him to grip my hips.

"no matter how good you look in my jersey, i need to get it off of ya." - joe

he bunched up some of the fabric and looked up at me, wanting me to either tell him to continue or to stop.

"please joe." - you

"please what baby?" - joe grinned dirtily

"take it off me." - you gripped his biceps

joe pulled the jersey over my head and threw it to the side. when he saw the lingerie i had hidden underneath his eyes darkened to a shade id never seen before.

"fucking hell, you're so beautiful." - joe groaned

"i- i was scared you wouldn't like it." - you

joe’s whole body tensed up and it felt like the whole world stopped, please tell me i didn't just ruin this moment.

"what?" - joe

"i don't know, i'm sorry for saying anything.. it's just that my body has changed since having the baby and i was worried you wouldn't be attracted to how i looked in the lingerie." - you

"baby.. are you being for real? i mean this in the most serious way possible but you know you turn me into a horny teenager." - joe

i laughed slightly before i started rubbing his arms.

"again i'm sorry for even saying anything, i was just a little self conscious." - you

"you're safe with me babe... do you want me to keep going?" - joe

"oh yes of course... i need you." - you

"that's it, can you get up for a sec" - joe

i nodded and stood up from sitting on him. he too stood up and pulled his shorts down, his impressive length flinging free.

"no boxers?" - you grinned

"it's our honeymoon, thought i'd have them off more often then on so what's the point of wearing ‘em." - joe smirked

"you're so hot." - you stared at him open mouthed

"i know, gorgeous c’mere." - joe

he sat down on the couch and grabbed the underside of my thighs, pulling me to him.

joe gently put his hands on my shoulders and pushed me down onto the floor.

once on my knees, he didn't even have to tell me what to do. this position was all too familiar.

joe let his eyes close as he felt my hand wrap around him, his head falling back as he let out a groan when the movements increased.

when my lips wrapped around his tip he dropped one of his hands from the couch and let it find my hair, he wrapped my hair around his hand controlling the depth and pace.

"i don't think you understand.. how fucking good this feels." - joe moaned

i used my hand to continue the movements on his base.

endless groans, moans, and curses flew out of his mouth. thank god there is no one else staying anywhere close to us.

i noticed his breathing quicken as his hands started guiding me with more strength.

"your mouth y/n, holy shit!" - joe moaned

he came not much longer after that. he let go of my hair and leaned forward, pulling me into a kiss.

"get up here with me. it's your turn" - joe breathed out

i suddenly became very nervous, sure i was excited to be brought pleasure and i was glad it was from joe... but i was just so nervous.

when he noticed i hadn't moved from my position below him joe opened his eyes and leaned up.

"you okay? you're safe with me baby." - joe

"i- i know, and uh i'm okay." - you

"are you just a little nervous?" - joe

i nodded and he reached out for my hand, lifting me up to stand.

"that's okay, it's the first time since you gave birth. you know i won't hurt ya, and if i do something that makes you uncomfortable tell me to stop immediately okay?" - joe

"okay.. thank you." - you

"you don't have to thank me." - joe

i stood up from my kneeling position and sat down next to him.

"i love you." - you kissed him

"love you too babe, now what am i gonna do with you?" - joe smirked

joe turned me to where i was laying flat on my back against the couch.

he gently parted my legs and started placing kisses on the inside of my thighs.

"don't tease, burrow" - you

"be patient, burrow" - joe looked up at me with a grin

good lord... this man.

joe moved the fabric aside as he connected his lips to my core, i was seeing stars.

"fuck joe!" - you moaned

i could literally feel him smile against me.

his mouth was literal magic, and it wasn't long till i was practically screaming his name.

the smug look on his face was evident.

he knew the effect he had on me and it turned him on extremely.

looking down and seeing his already hard again and throbbing dick more than ready to be inside of me was exciting.

"i think you're more than ready for me." - joe

"joey." - you whined

"yeah baby? what is it?" - joe

i moaned in response, unable to form words as i watched him slowly pump himself.

"i need your dick in me, please joe." - you

"i forgot how needy you are." - joe

"shut up and fuck me." - you

"don't gotta tell me twice." - joe

he got on top of me, his hands on either side of my head holding himself up.

i wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him down to me, our lips engaging in a filthy kiss as he entered me.

"oh my god- fuck." - joe

we were too busy moaning into each others mouths to kiss.

his thrusts were fast and hard, but i needed more.

"joey." - you moan

"yeah?" - joe breathed out

"harder." - you

"your wish is my command, mama." - joe

his hips met mine with heavy hard thrusts.

i was slowly moving farther up on the couch because of him literally pounding into me.

"damn it!" - joe groaned

with joe on top i could see his facial expression's, those that only showed how good he was feeling.

multiple thrusts later i could feel that unmistakable feeling in my stomach.

"joey, im close." - you gripped his biceps

he acted fast, his already ferocious pace speeding up as i moaned louder and louder.

"that's it baby, just let go." - joe groaned

that and a few more thrusts had me coming apart underneath him.

but the thing is, joe hadn't finished yet.

"babe." - your breathy voice rang out

"yeah?" - joe

"turn us." - you

"baby, you don't have too-" - joe

"i said turn us." - you

joe grabbed me and turned us around with ease, his back was now against the couch and i was on top.

in all honesty i didn't have the energy to ride him, but i wasn't about to let him walk away from this without finishing.

slowly, i started moving on his length. taking every glorious inch of him and then pulling off.

joes neck was rolling in every which way as his nose and eyes were scrunched.

"fuck, baby." - joe moaned

he had his hands on my hips to help guide me at the speed he wanted.

"i'm about to cum, y/n." - joe

i grabbed the back of neck and pulled him up to me, his lips attacking mine.

joe let out a guttural sound into the kiss as i felt him let go inside of me.

i got off of him and dropped next to him onto the couch. joe immediately pulled me to him and rubbed my naked back.

"that was amazing.." - joe

"mhm." - you mumbled against his chest

"i know you already showered, but we should go wash up." - joe

"i never showered." - you giggled as you traced the ridges in his abs

"okay well now you can come take a bath with me. i saw that huge tub in there so i know this is about to be relaxing.” - joe

he stood up and grabbed my hand, pulling me up.

i stumbled a bit, my legs were still wobbly from what we had just done but joe guided me to the bathroom.

he lowered in first and then i did, my back against his chest as i sat between his legs.

"i love you so much baby, i'm so happy you're my wife." - joe rubbed your shoulders

"i love you too, hubby." - you

we both giggled at the nickname before he kissed my forehead.

i've never felt so loved.

————————————————————————

authors note: why are imagines so much more fun to write than stories?

hope you enjoyed it!! ❤️❤️

[writersmacchiato]

Todd can’t help the way he feels about you.

You’re kind to him, always nice, so patient. Never getting annoyed when he stumbles over his words or goes quiet as he gets lost in his head trying to think of the best response, forgetting to answer.

It’s why when he overhears your friend teasing you about a crush, his heart instantly sinks to his stomach, feeling sick, because there’s no doubt in his mind that it’s not him.

It could never be someone like Todd who would hold such attention from you.

Things like that didn’t happen to Todd.

He should leave it alone. He should forget he ever heard anything. He should really leave you alone, his senior of one year, and find friends his own age.

But he doesn’t seem to click with anyone else.

He felt desperately like a puppy scorned of any attention when you first smiled at him, all kind angles, nothing malicious in the way you talked to him so nicely.

You’re overcompensating, with your kindness. For all the bad things that have happened to you. You’ve let him into your life, sharing things that not a lot of your friend group knew (not that Todd knew this, to him it was common knowledge). And he’s surprised that your life isn’t perfect.

For all the shitty, horrible, terrible things that have occurred, you’re just as determined to be the opposite. To be a light instead of the darkness that is so easy to succumb to.

“I didn’t have a lot of friends growing up,” you whisper to him one night, sneaking away from the party with your lukewarm drink and his soda that’s beginning to taste flat.

Your head leans against his shoulder and he tries to breathe evenly, to be the perfect shoulder for you.

“I was really lonely. It felt like no matter what I did, I never fit in. People liked me, but no one wanted to be my best friend. So, I guess I never want anyone else to feel like that.”

Todd thinks about that night a lot. The weight of you against him, how the air was crisp, and the scent of your shampoo drifting into his senses.

He wonders if you’ve brought him into your circle out of pity. If you don’t see him as a friend, but as a past version of yourself laden with no friends. If you’re trying to reach into the past and rewrite the story. He doesn’t like to think about it too much because it hurts.

Really, he should try to spend less time thinking about you. But the more he tries to forget, the more he thinks.

He can’t stop thinking about the word crush. His dictionary has been opened to the C section so many times that it has a natural crease there now, flipping to the page as soon as he opens the book.

Crush: a strong but temporary feeling of liking someone.

It could be just a harmless tease from your friend. As far as he knows, there is no one who you could have a crush on. He watches you a lot, and there’s not a lot of people you spend frequent time with outside of your friends and him.

This endless thought that could be nothing that is leading him into a slow descent into obsession. It bothers him.

Someone who could yield your affections must be someone special, worthy of such attention.

But what if it’s not? What if it’s someone who wouldn’t be careful with your heart, wouldn’t take the time to learn the workings of your mind? What if your feelings are not temporary?

Todd loses sleep over it, worry gnawing at the edges of his thoughts until he’s become edgy.

You notice, of course, that Todd will withdraw into himself. With gentle coaxing, he’ll return but sometimes he stays stuck.

Lately he’s been stuck and nothing you’ve done has been able to break through.

He shocks you by finding you in the library, clearly still caught in the webs of his overthinking mind. Appearing normal as he pulls out a textbook and notebook, pen tapping against the palm of his hand.

The words blurt out of his mouth, rushed through in a painful exhale that sounds more breathy than he intended. He hadn't even meant to say that.

“You have a crush?” He asks.

And then stops, breath hitching, heart beginning to race.

He doesn’t want to know. Can’t bear to watch the way your lips form the name of someone who isn’t him.

Instead, you smile at him. Shrugging your arms and sighing.

“Not you too! Everyone is pestering me over it.” You avoid the question, Todd is quick to notice.

“I overheard Meeks.” Todd says.

“He’s such an instigator.” You roll your eyes.

Todd knows you well enough to know that you’ve purposefully not answered him. It brings a small flutter to his chest.

“Do you?”

It’s painful, to dig in and search for an answer that he know will hurt. Rubbing salt into the wound that is his aching heart. But he has to know. It’s like an itch he can’t reach.

“Yes, Todd, I do. Although calling it a crush is silly. It’s much stronger than that.” You say, very quietly.

Or maybe Todd can’t hear you well over the sudden rushing in his ears.

“Oh.” It’s all he can manage.

Crush, is simple and small. Temporary.

Stronger than a crush? Well. That’s not so simple or small.

“Todd, can you look at me?”

He can't. Eyes glued to the floor of the library, feeling his cheeks flush with warmth and his stomach twist into knots. Slippery and hot as he tries to calm the sudden urge to be sick.

You reach out to grab his clammy hands, giving them a firm squeeze. He manages to squeeze back.

“It’s okay, breathe.” You count out the breaths for him until they’re no longer shaky.

His cheeks are still flushed, but not with anxiety. Feeling the sweat on his neck begin to cool. Stomach settling.

“Todd, I really like you. A lot.” You grin. “I have a crush on you.”

“Why me?”

“Because you’re you.”

Todd has another fitful night of sleep, but this time it's because he can't stop thinking about the moment in the library. Flushed with embarrassment, but also with a giddiness. Thinking of what you had said, to him alone and him only:

"I'm infatuated with you, Todd Anderson."

[bodybahng]

a thousand days with you

seven. red flags 📝

warnings: talks of sa (nothing descriptive), mention of a drunk character, anxiety, cursing, dates and time stamps aren’t important/accurate.

a/n: the emoji is there to remain neutral. in reality it’s a pic with jeongin, but in the au it’s with y/n :)

if you are a minor or an ageless blog and interact with my content, you will be blocked.

main masterlist | au masterlist | prev | next

you paced around the room, your anxiety raising by every second you waited for lino to arrive. he hadn’t said a word about what he needed to tell you, and all different possibilities began swimming in your head.

your overthinking only stopped when he rang the doorbell, and you took a deep breath before walking over and letting him in.

“hey,” he greeted quietly, running a hand through his hair as he sat on your couch. “i really need advice on this.”

“you’re scaring me, what’s going on?” you asked while plopping down next to him, your legs bouncing up and down slightly.

“my ex just texted me,” he started, and you already felt like your whole world was coming apart. “they apologised for everything and want to meet up, but i don’t know if that’s a good idea.”

it honestly shocked you that he came to you with this concern, and not one of his trusting friends that he’s known for longer, specially after the rejection because he liked them instead of you.

he blinked rapidly while starring at you, waiting for any kind of response. he was sure you could see how nervous he was as he swiped his sweaty forehead with the back of his hand. “so?”

“that depends on you, lino. if you still feel something for them, it’s worth a shot. if not, then either meet up to tell them that or say it directly through text. you don’t owe them anything, you’ve been broken up for months.”

he was nodding at your words, brows furrowing as he started pondering. “that’s pretty straightforward thinking, i don’t know why that didn’t occur to me.” he chuckled while looking at you.

you forced a laugh, not really knowing what to say. after a few moments of silence, you saw him getting serious again, this time turning his body more towards you.

“so, do you still not want to tell me about…” he tried, wanting to let you have your own time to decide, but also desperately wanting to get closer to you again and protect you from whatever could have hurt you.

you didn’t know if you were completely ready to tell him, but the look on his face made all doubt go away, and you finally let some of your guards down. “it all happened the night after you told me you liked your ex…”

his expression immediately turned unreadable, almost completely devoid of emotion, and he nodded.

“after that, i downloaded a stupid app and started talking to this person… we really hit it off and i guess i was so touch starved that i looked past all of the red flags.” you paused for a second as the memories came flooding back. “long story short, i got drunk one day, and they were supposed to take care of me. i trusted them, but even after i said i didn’t want to do anything, they kept insisting…”

lino wanted to comfort you, just like he did a couple weeks ago, but he figured it was best not to touch you as you continued your story.

“luckily, something inside of me took over and i was able to push them, get up and run before it went further than a few unwanted kisses and stuff... i ran for so long that eventually i found myself at jinnie’s doorstep.”

“i’m really sorry about that, y/n. that is awful and no one deserves to go through that.”

“i’m just glad it wasn’t worse, even if i can still remember it as if it happened yesterday.” you leaned back into the cushion, taking a deep breath that seemed to release some of the tension in the room. “and that saturday before you picked me up, i was going on a date with a friend of one of my college friends, or at least i thought so.”

“no,” he muttered, hands closing into fists as he guessed the rest. “they lied to you and showed up to the date?”

you only nodded, thumb swiping at a tear that threatened to fall. “that’s why i was scared shitless.”

“i’m really sorry. i know nothing i say can or will make it better, but i’m glad you asked for our help now. do the boys all know about this?”

you shook your head no. “you’re the third person i’ve told. only jinnie and chris know.”

“thank you for trusting me and i’m sorry if i pushed you to talk about it…” he felt guilty, but you shook your head.

“it’s okay, i wanted to tell you, i just… didn’t want you to blame yourself or anything. what happened was that asshole’s fault and not anyone else’s.”

he seemed a little confused at that, but pushed it to the back of his mind. “i know that, don’t worry,” he said with a small, sympathetic smile. “can i…?” he asked with his right arm open, wishing upon every star that you said yes so he could let his hug tell you everything he couldn’t. to his surprise, you tackled him to the ground and held him tightly through tears and giggles.

[hyuuukais]

-`♡´ - APARTMENT 143

pairing -> lee minho x fem reader

synopsis -> after a bad breakup, y/n needs to find a new place to live. although she's grateful for her best friend, up-and-coming model hwang hyunjin, for letting her stay at his, she can't keep living with him and his model roommates. so when an opening for somewhere nearby with cheap rent opens up, she jumps on it, despite knowing next to nothing about the 3 other tenants, only that one owns 3 cats. the three quickly learn of her breakup, determined to help get her back on her feet. but what happens when one of them begins to develop feelings?

warnings -> gen, mention of cheating, yn lowkey overthinking

MASTERLIST | PREVIOUS | NEXT

CHAPTER NINE -> IS THIS A DATE? (partially written! wc:1.2k)

There's a knock at your door followed by silence while you internally debate whether or not you should open it, or if you should pretend you aren't home. As far as you know, no one saw you come in, just heard you. The atmosphere was suffocating, heavy. This had to be your fault. You shouldn't have pressed, you shouldn't have-

"Y/n?" Minho's voice comes from behind the wooden barrier. "I know you're in there."

"Sorry, Y/n isn't available! Only her twin sister who did nothing wrong and totally isn't stressing!"

No response.

With a sigh, you get up to open your door, Doongie running off your bed and back into your closet. You open the door, but your eyes are glued to the floor, unable to face the man in front of you. The door is only open a crack, just enough for him to see your face, and you, his. His arms are crossed, body tense.

"Have you seen Soonie, Doongie, or Dori?" Minho asks curtly.

"Um, yeah, Doongie is in my closet-"

"What?" Minho tries to push past your door, but you're able to keep it mostly closed. Your room was currently a mess, no doubt a reflection of your mind the past few weeks. "Why is he in your closet?"

With a light shove, he makes his way in and moves quickly toward your closet opposite your bed. You watch as he slides the curtain away, your lack of a closet door making you shrink a bit into yourself. To be fair, it was like that when you moved in, so obviously the boys knew about it already. Still, you couldn't help feeling a tinge of embarrassment, not to mention the fact most of the content in there is strewn across your floor.

A small meow is heard from behind the curtain, Minho's arm outstretched. His shoulders seem to be a little more relaxed as he stands back to his full height, finally taking in your room with a low whistle. Now you cross your arms.

"If you're going to judge, you can leave," you huff, but then remember the reason he's probably upset in the first place. Your face flushes. "Oh, and I wanted to say I'm really, really sorry."

"For...?"

"You know what for!" You move to the edge of your bed, playing with the corner of a blanket on the verge of falling off. "In the group chat, I shouldn't have pried. Obviously you don't owe telling me anything, which I know you know, but still. I guess I was just shocked? Surprised? Whatever? That's totally messed up by the way, having a secret husband. I mean, who does that? Seriously, who does that?"

"My ex, apparently." Minho sits at the end of your bed, grabbing the blanket as it falls to the ground.

Gently, he folds it up and replaces it at the end he's sitting on, getting up and doing the same to another half under your bedframe.

"Well, your ex needs to learn what commitment is then." He grabs the half empty laundry basket from under you windowsill. "Mine too."

"Do you know if he cheated on you before?" Minho asks, picking up a few shirts abandoned next to the basket.

"I- he-" You stutter, bringing your knees up to your chin as you lean back against the headboard. "He loved me."

"That doesn't answer the question." He puts the basket down, grabbing a small pile of clothing from beside your bed on the opposite side you sit on.

"Don't tell anyone," you whisper, ashamed. "Once, but it was right at the beginning of our relationship and I don't think we were even technically official yet since he seemed so unbothered when I walked in on them together. After that I had a conversation with him about what we were to each other, and he hasn't cheated since. I mean, he has now, but not counting that."

The laundry basket is full, Minho placing it outside of your door. Next on his list are dishes, beginning to make a stack of plates and mugs on the dresser by your door. There aren't many, but enough to be a problem. Enough to be overwhelming.

"Back to the point, I never should have asked about anything." You rub a hand down your face. "I was being stupid."

"No, you were curious," Minho says. "But you're right in thinking you shouldn't have asked."

"I'm sorry."

"Are you going to apologize as much as you thanked me?" He tosses a missed sock at you, hitting you in the knee.

"S-" You freeze, making eye contact with him as he places the last mug aside. "Forget what I was about to say."

A small smile tugs on his mouth as he leaves your room. He's back in record time with a broom and dustpan in his hands. It's only now that you realize what he's been doing for you and you jump up, grabbing his wrist to halt his sweeping.

"Stop! You don't need to clean for me, I can do it myself." You attempt to take the broom, but he switches it to the other hand. "Please. Why are you doing this?"

"Because once this place is a little more cleaned up, you are going to help me find my cats." Minho finishes sweeping the little pile of dirt and dust.

"So this was for a favour?" You ask. "I would have helped you anyway. But what do you mean by 'find my cats'? Are they missing? What happened? How would they get out?"

"You tell me," he says, placing the broom against the wall by your door and heading out. You follow him to the back door, slipping on some sandals before walking out to the balcony. "The door was left open, so I have to assume they went out this way. Ah, I'm going to kill Han."

"Han? Don't kill Han. Why would you kill Han?"

"He left the door open," Minho starts up the staircase leading up to the roof.

The way the roof access was connected to your balcony confused you, but you assumed it came with the apartment. You'd only been up there once since moving in to water some plants at Han's request since he'd been gone all day and hadn't gotten the chance. A light breeze hit your face as you stepped onto the roof, scanning for any sign of cats.

"There!" You jog across the roof to the small garden where Dori sits amongst tomatoes. "Come here you."

Dori stretches out, emerging from the plants to headbutt the hand you stick out. He rubs against your crouched knees purring up a storm, stepping up half onto your leg to ask for pats. You giggle, rubbing his soft cheeks and watching as he lifts his head up, giving him some chin rubs before picking him up.

When you turn, you see Minho with Soonie cradled in his arms like a baby. He's not facing you completely, but you can see him pointing a finger at Soonie and scolding the cat for scaring him like that. Soonie nudges his finger, giving a small lick. Minho shakes his head smiling, taking a small treat from his back pocket. Your heart stutters, a warm feeling blossoming in your chest as you watch.

notes -> so soobin, huh?

taglist -> @chaeryred @toplinelix @channie-143 @puppyminnnie @tfshouldidohere @kangaracha @chlodavids @whitney190 @thisisnotjacinta @borahae-reads @brooklynie @gini143 @kayleigh-28 @skz-streamer @babyphotos0325 @scallywag1299 @venusmoonxnight @naomisosoup @fertiliezedtoesw @s00buwu @realrintaro @anothershorthuman @skzstaykatsy @ilovejeongin007 @btswestan @taeriffic @ihrtlix @raehawthorne @euphoric-univers @hyperpixie @evermourning @satsuri3su @jazziwritesthings @minhwa @wyzminho @fic-for-readers @dreamerwasfound @imsiriuslyreal @lailac13 @palindrome969 @lixie-phoria @aalexyuuuhm @sunflowerbebe07 @st4rhwa @lukeys-giggle @jabmastersupriseee

^^^ orange means i can't tag you

[planetsxmore]

SHORT MESSAGES FROM YOUR FUTURE LOVER

one two three

four five six

lowkey inspired to make this as i saw a few other blogs - this a short pac that'll consist of complete/incomplete sentences channeled by your future lover/spouse/soulmate- choose your pile carefully! - you can choose more than one pile if you'd like - used intuition and rw tarot deck for this reading - this is a general reading and may or may not resonate for you all - stay positive,and hydrated loves <33

© planetsxmore rights reserved 2022 • masterlist

your likes and reblogs will be appreciated •

ꕤ PILE 1

you're the sunshine to my darkness

are you okay? because i'm not

stop doubting yourself,you're amazing and complete! i love you for how you are -

i can't wait to have you in my arms but i know that's not possible - even after we meet because it'll take us time to realize how much we love each other

the color blue is our color..

it takes time to heal wounds and broken hearts

you're the best thing that ever happened to me

i'm insecure and i'm afraid you'll run away from the scars i have...

let us dance all night,talk all night - love all night...

i love your smile,it's adorable

ꕤ PILE 2

stop it,you're tickling me...

we're literally more than friends,more than best friends even....

it's uncanny the way we both understand each other. words aren't even needed to express what we want to communicate with each other

we're weird,and we know it- and frankly speaking we don't don't care *wink*

our love is more like an understanding - it's pure,less of the lust and more of the emotional love - we laugh with each other,cry with each other and do absolutely everything together - if we haven't met,i know it's unbelievable for you but you'll believe me once we meet, darling.

you hate my pet,why tho?

our dates are the best - they're soo secretive yet soo quirky lol

you hate it when i snort/snore/slurp - but i can't help it love xD

i gave you my everything yet you didn't think of it alot. why does it feel unrequited at times?

our taste is very similar..in almost alot of things

ꕤ PILE 3

i really love the way your body looks or may look,keeps me guessing...

you're a little too sensitive,can you be a little open? i mean c'mon life's about fun - don't waste yourself overthinking most of the time

whenever i listen to love songs,it reminds me of you..

you're jealous of my exes,but what am i suppose to do if i'm soo hot --

i feel as though so much,so much could be better between the two of us. i'm a little impatient in everything and i can't change that,love - i've tried, trust me

idk why you're soo shy,i'm all in for you -

i hope you understand that i'm not the one to believe in "happy ever after-s" - it's life,babe - we gotta understand it's not a storybook

i love it how you listen to me,it makes me feel as you're the one for me for life - but again,i don't believe in story tales - kinda love. i love it fast - and quick -

clinginess is not anything i love neither co dependency

i love it when my gifts make you happy - the twinkle in your eyes are everything!

[ loves,i don't know how you feel about this pile - but for some of you, i feel you're attracting a very toxic lover/fs - if that's the case,and you don't feel good about this pile- please don't worry since this is the future you're attracting at the moment - change your energy and be a little more positive to attract a better future and partner / you don't need to end up with such an individual if you don't want to - however,if you're fine with this,then no prob! ]

ꕤ PILE 4

close your eyes and imagine - i know you'll feel me around you...

i love how we do homely activities together (cooking/cleaning/working etc.)

you and i are equals. - equals for life

we argue like little kids and make out at the very next moment..

you're my jellybean and i'm your savior.

you always end up in trouble and i always end up fixing it all for you,but i'm with you don't worry

i'll find you but you need to be strong till then! don't let your feelings out for just anyone please

you like my car and i like your lips ...*winks*

it's soo funny how you'll hide your feelings for me and it'll be obvious at the same time..i'll do the same thing.. honestly it'll be a circus and we'll be like two clowns until we confess

please bear with me when i close off. i have past baggages that make me feel isolated at times and opening up can be difficult. just stay with me,i promise i'll open up for you,love.

ꕤ PILE 5

you're literally my drug - i don't know if it's toxic or not,but all i know is that i feel strongly for you ... strongly.

you love my hugs,i know you do .

i know i'm usually very busy and taking out time can be difficult - but i'll manage i promise,just don't go away with anyone else.

you're my favorite - my utmost favorite

maybe sometimes you'll feel as though i'm selfish - wanting all of your body,time and love for myself while i give you less -- but what can i do,love? it's just the way i am. i crave you... can't see you with anyone,even your work bothers me at times when you ignore me because if it - i'm sorry,i'll try to work in these habits...but habits are difficult to change y'know?

i'm possessive,yes i am. i don't want any third party between us - any !

you love our long drives and dinner dates , and i love them with you too !

i love you. i love you right? it's not infatuation,it's not obsession !

i love it when you smile for me, because of me - i love to be your source of happiness!

just be mine, please. when you crush on anyone apart from me,i feel -- i just don't feel good,even if it's a celeb.

[ loves,i don't know how you feel about this pile - but for some of you, i feel you're attracting a very possessive lover/fs - if that's the case,and you don't feel good about this pile- please don't worry since this is the future you're attracting at the moment - change your energy and be a little more positive to attract a better future and partner / you don't need to end up with such an individual if you don't want to - however,if you're fine with the possessiveness,then no prob! ]

ꕤ PILE 6

we're soulmates,yes we are.

do you know how much i had to think over before approaching you? why are you always soo - soo intimidating y'know lol

we're opposite poles of magnets. two parts of a heart - we fit perfectly.

listening to music together soothes me..

i can be a little workaholic but trust me sweetheart, whenever i get time - i rush to you,for you. i just want to build the most stable future for us. I see you in my future..

i'm a little inexperienced in relationships - they never excited me until you came in the picture..

i do whatever i can for you, but if something still bothers you - please,tell me. i don't mind you telling me what i can do better.

love me forever.

i'm all yours,love. the good and the bad. just like the raw ..

i'm scared that our families won't accept us but, no matter what,i'm with you. we'll work through this - you just work on yourself right now, don't stress out. we'll be with each other,as soon as the universe thinks it's time

[whatsaninterestingplacethisis]

Too Good

Imagine

Mat Barzal x Latina!Reader

Synop: y/n finds herself in a slum and pushes her boyfriend away because of said slum.

cw: angst + fluff, depression, insecurities, comparisons, overthinking, cussing, mat picks up reader bridal style

+

It hit you like a wave of doubt on any other day. You were on your lunch break, grabbing a cup of coffee and you noticed these group of girls who looked like models. They were outstandingly beautiful. Their hair and makeup, even the way they stood, everything about them looked perfect.

When you got home and looked at yourself in the mirror, you noticed your hair was messy and your makeup worn out. You couldn’t help to think back to those girls and compare what you saw in the mirror.

You quickly fixed your hair and took off your makeup and started to feel and look better but the shocking image in your mind still ate at you. You tried as hard as you could to not compare yourself to others because it was pointless but for some reason today it totally slipped by you.

You spent the rest of your afternoon on the couch rotting as you watched your favorite show. Your phone started ringing and Mat was calling

“Hey beautiful”

You tried not to laugh at the irony

“Hi”

“What are you doing tonight?”

“Nothing just watching my show.”

“Ok so you don’t mind me coming over with pizza from our favorite place?”

“Of course I don’t.” You rolled your eyes at his obvious offer.

“Great, I’ll be there in 5!” You knew Mat lived farther than 5 minutes away and the pizza place would take longer

“You’re already on your way with the pizza aren’t you?”

“I didn’t think my girlfriend would pass up on this amazing offer so I planned ahead.”

“I guess you’re right, drive safe!”

“Will do”

+

You left your front door unlocked for Mat to come in with ease as you got plates ready for the meal.

“Honey I’m home!” Mat yelled obnoxiously

He found you by the living room and before he could set the pizza box down he cups your face and gives you a smooch before hugging you.

“I’ve missed you so much.” He said into your neck

“We saw each other two days ago.” You muffled into his shoulder

He pulls away and sets the box down, “I know but I need to see you every so often to function properly.” He said very dramatically as he placed slices on both plates.

“Uh huh, I’m sure that’s true.”

“Oh it’s very true.” He hands you your plate and both of you walk to the couch to find your seats

“Should we watch a show or movie?” He asked

“Movie.”

+

At the near end of the uninteresting movie, Mat and you and cuddled on the couch barely falling asleep before he speaks up,

“I have a surprise for you”

“What’s the surprise?” You ask as he holds you from behind

“It’s not really a surprise but what do you think of moving in with me?” He says so calmly with a smile on his face that you couldn’t see

You felt your heart stop for a quick second and your whole body freeze. You shift in your lying position before sitting up, out of his grasp,

“You want me to move in?”

He had a nervous smile on his face now, “ I mean yeah. I’m always at yours or you’re always at mine so why not?”

You kept silent and observed his face fall from a bright smile to a regretful one.

“You don’t have to say yes now. It takes time to move.” Mat tried to soften the surprise but he was starting to rethink of asking you at all.

“I’m sorry if asking you is too soon and if you’re not ready.” Mat said after you still kept silent

“No no, I want to live with you matty it’s just you caught me by surprise.” You tried to reason but it didn’t sound too convincing

“Are you sure? I could understand if you want to say no, for whatever reason. I just think it would be nice to wake up next to you every morning.” He cradled your face with his hand

“I want to. Trust me. Just give me some time.” Truth is you really did want to share a home with Matty but your conscience couldn’t understand why he would.

+ +

The next few days you found yourself deeper in this pit, from what you called it. A slump. Since Mat offered you moving in, it had left you conflicted.

You knew he loved you and cared for you but some sick part of you didn’t want to believe it. He called and texted when he could but when he wanted to meet up you made an excuse not to. You felt stuck in between believing Mat and believing what your mind was telling you.

As much as you tried to push away those thoughts, they still haunted you in your sleep. You dreamt that Matt was leaving you for someone else and woke up crying that morning.

Of course it didn’t take long for Mat to notice your absence. So he called the morning of that nightmare.

“Hey babe, I’m free after practice today. I want to see you. I haven’t seen you in almost a week.”

As much as you missed his presence, you felt awkward being physically with him.

“Sorry Mat, I’ve been just so busy with work lately. I’m going to have a long day today too.” You weren’t a very good liar and Mat could tell something was off.

“Baby why are you lying?” He asked without any malice but just pure concern.

Your heart stopped again and you could feel a lump in your throat starting to form.

“I’m not.” You choked out

“Is it because I asked you to move in? It’s really fine if you don’t want to, I’m not going to force you to move in with me. I don’t mind driving over to your place.”

You tried stopping your tears from falling and let out a trembly breath over the phone, unfortunately Matt heard it

“Baby you’re scaring me, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing, it’s just- I need some time to think- time alone.” Your voice clearly wavered

“How long do you need?” His voice sounded flat this time

“I don’t know Mat. Just give me a few days. I’ll call or text when I’m ready.” You were face palming yourself in your empty apartment

“Okay, I love you.” Mat’s face on the other side of the phone call was confused and hurt. Although both of you knew he would respect your wishes,

“I love you too Mat.” You ended the call quickly and found yourself with no plan on how to better yourself.

++

Two days had passed and still no plan. If anything you tried your best on was to avoid people, especially Mat. You tried to get a home cook meal in after work even if it was just a quesadilla.

Then loud knocks were heard from your door.

“Y/n, I know you said to wait but we need to talk.” It was Mat yelling across your door and you felt your stomach drop.

You walked to your front door and peeked at Mat through the peep hole. Truth be told he didn’t look good either.

“Fuck” you whispered to yourself as you froze to open to the door.

“Please open the door” Mat yelled again for you to hear.

You reluctantly opened the door to let him in. You could only look at him in the eyes for a second before walking away.

“Can we talk?” He closed the door and slowly followed you into your living room

“Sure” you had no idea what to say. Every possible negative thought was running through your head.

“First, I’m sorry that I came here even though you wanted me to wait. I was worried about you and us to be honest. Second, why are you distancing yourself?” His voice had gotten closer to you but you still weren’t looking at him.

“It’s not about moving in.” You tried you best getting a sentence or even a word out before crying.

“Then what’s the problem?” You felt his hand touch your arm but you pulled away.

You really couldn’t help but chuckle in exhaustion. You knew if you told Mat all your insecurities and how they form the chances of him leaving were high.

“I’m not alright, clearly.” You started to tear up, “Um I don’t know how to say this, but sometimes I think very bad about myself and I start to believe it. And when I do, I start to distance myself from the people I love because if they knew how I saw myself they would think the same.” You started to sob through your confession, still avoiding his eyes in case you were right.

He tried to touch you again and you couldn’t help but to find comfort in his embrace.

“When do you feel this way?” He whispered into your hair

“Sometimes it comes at random. These past days it’s because I was comparing myself to these girls. It’s ridiculous honestly.” You tried to pull away, starting to become embarrassed in your vulnerability.

“It’s not ridiculous. I mean this whole situation isn’t ridiculous.” He sighed and you started to think he didn’t know what to say, you wouldn’t have known either.

“Besides you not wanting to tell me all of this because you thought I would see you that way, which I would never.” He spoke slowly, “I wished you knew you could trust me with anything.”

“I do trust you, it’s just I don’t trust myself to let you see the whole real me.” You leaned your head on his chest in embarrassment.

“I think I’m seeing all of it now and I still love you if that’s what your worried about.” He lifted your head up so you could look at him.

“Why?”

“Because when I first met you I knew you were the one, as cheesy as it sounds.” You saw him smile in the first time in a while, “I knew you were the girl I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, through the good and bad.”

“You’re too good, Mathew Barzal.” You started to tear up again but from happiness.

“You might have to remind me every once in awhile though.” You gave him a sad smile

“I don’t think I’ll mind.” He caressed your face and leaned in for one of many shared kisses.

+++

2 months later

“I think that was the last box- Matthew put me down!” Matt caught you by surprise by carrying you bridal style into your shared apartment.

“Give me a sec, I’m trying to be romantic here.” He kicked the door open with his foot and stepped into the living room you have seen plenty of times.

“We’re not married silly.”

“Not yet anyway, but very soon.” He still had his ways to make you flustered.

“I believe a proposal comes first then marriage.” He had set you down both standing now.

He started to get on one knee but you knew better, “oh please, get up” both of you laughed as he stood up to meet you eye level,

“You know I would never propose to you like that, you deserve something more romantic.” He pulled you in by the waist

“You’re right. Propose to me in a private but romantic area, not a public proposal.” You whispered up to him

“Anything you want, I’ll give.” He whispered back.

[silentcryracha]

❍ ‗ Jealousy Headcanons (SKZ)‗ ❍

Pairings : Stray Kids x gn reader

Genre/warnings : Mentions of jealousy, might get a little toxic, sprinkles on fluff because we love a happy ending, not nsfw but it's suggestive in a few bits.

Summary : How, why and when the Stray Kids get jealous. Not a ranking.

Word count : 2.8k

A/n : None. As always, of course, this is just silly writing. Don't take it seriously :)

ps: There could be errors. Do NOT repost on other socials. Leave feedback if you feel like it, otherwise enjoy! ♡︎

Masterlist

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Chan ‗ ❍

I feel like Chan would generally be quite chill, simply because he's someone who doesn't like to hang out with toxic people, therefore would try to avoid issues from the start.

But while with some other members, fo example, the reason would be their good/non conflicting nature (which it is, for sure), I low-key think that in Chan's case could be because he's actually quite aware that when he gets mad/ annoyed with something, he's not gonna let it go easily.

He also wants to focus as much as possible on the positive and wholesome aspects of a relationship, but could unfortunately, when the time comes to have an argument, may be showing his worst self. Someone that he also hates and would like to keep locked away.

These situations wouldn't come up in relation to jealousy though, unless the relationship itself was toxic. In that case he'd either end things pretty quickly or spend a lot of time being upset and arguing, depending on how strong your bond is by that time. In the second case I think things would end up either very coldly or very messily.

Again, I feel like though he might get insecure at times, his reasons wouldn't be tied to any other person except himself.

He doesn't give a fuck about random people's opinions, but he cares about yours. Which is why feeling like he isn't doing his absolute best for you would be the worst.

For example, if a coworker or a friend was kind enough to make you a surprise/gift/bring you food to cheer you up, he'd feel upset that he didn't think about it first.

He'd start overthinking and doubting himself, maybe beating himself up over the fact that you haven't been on many dates lately or he's been too caught up in work.

He'd also probably go quiet because he feels bad,but you would catch up quickly and eventually reassure him and work things out.

If you did happen to get a little jealous (a normal amount I guess?) he would make sure to talk it out and understand what made you upset. Communication is fundamental and he knows it, even though sometimes he can't deliver quite well as he would like. He would always end up apologizing, though.

Now, about the kinky part, I do think that he would be into being a little possessive. Mostly because he's just so in love and attracted to you that the thought of other people even thinking of 'getting a piece' would drive him mad. Don't worry, he's gonna let it all out and remind you exactly who gets to make you feel good.

If you did that to him, he would find it extremely hot and amusing. He likes the fact that you're as desperate for him as he is for you, and would be more than willing to let you prove it to him however you wanted.

Minho ‗ ❍

Minho is quite similar to Seungmin I think, but with a sprinkle of Chan in the middle. He probably wouldn't stand a toxic partner, but I feel like he'd be more into it kink wise.

He seems like a pretty confident person, but overall I think that his own security would come from the fact that he wouldn't be with you if he didn't fully trusted you and respected you from the start.

I could see him getting a little possessive when he saw/felt other people being obvious with eyeing you or flirting. It would be more a question of pride than anything, though.

'Yeah, you like what you see? I fucking bet, too bad it's mine' or some shit like that. He'd really get off on you also being into it. I'd say that he would find it amusing when someone tried to flirt with you, because he knew you are his and would never betray him. He'd almost find it funny to see the disappointment on their faces.

He'd also appreciate you making some similar remarks, but accuse him of actually cheating or betraying you in some way and you lost him. You should know better, you should know HIM better.

He can play around a lot but when things get serious or too much into the emotional aspect then he'll take it very seriously, too.

Again, he wouldn't be with someone that he doesn't 100% trust or that wouldn't trust him, so it would come as an unwelcomed surprise and probably have a big fight over it before he dumps your ass.

Absolutely no time to waste on problematic behavior, especially within a relationship that should be his safe place. It would also leave him quite hurt and overthink it a lot, even if he wasn't in the wrong.

Changbin ‗ ❍

This man doesn't have a single bad bone in his body. That's why he would absolutely despise stuff like jealousy, but he is human too and sometimes humans do get a little into their heads.

His jealousy would come from either lack of attention (in his regards) or 'too much' attention (from other people to you). For Changbin it would never be THAT serious regardless, truly. He's a little silly so could very well just be jealous, mostly in a humorous way, of you for example petting and praising a dog.

He'd pout and go like 'What about me :(' and make you shower him with kisses and attention. That's truly the most he'd go in terms of being jealous of someone or something. He just really wants you to himself, okay?

When other people seem to be giving you 'too much attention' (which realistically is never, unless it's unwanted), it means that he just wishes that he did it first or more often. For example, if a friend bought you a specific thing that you've been wanting for a long time. He'd be really happy to see you happy, but low-key wished that he was the one who gave it to you, instead.

Overall unless it's something that could directly impact you in any way, he doesn't care. If a dude at the bar was being an asshole he wouldn't get jealous, he'd straight up fight (for you).

If you got jealous of him though, depending on the situations and the dynamic of your relationship I think that he'd either find it kinda cute that you wanted him for yourself (and make sure to shower you with attention). On the other hand, if the jealousy came from a more problematic mindset, he simply wouldn't put up with it and would be quite annoyed that you even implied about infidelity.

I feel like the whole 'You're mine' thing could potentially be a turn on in the bedroom but to a limited extent. He seems like the kind of guy that would lean into the more wholesome aspect of the relationship and avoid problematic feelings, even if it's just to mess around in private.

Hyunjin ‗ ❍

The thing about Hyunjin, is that he's a hopeless romantic. This is both a blessing and a curse, I think.

One one hand, you would expect him to have quite high standards for both himself and his partner, meaning that if he decides to be with someone they 100% have to have a similar mindset.

Between all the art, music, poetry, cinema and such, I feel like he would spend a lot of times just thinking and fantasizing about the things that he has seen/read/heard, and would probably end up creating a whole new idea of love in his mind.

Which, again, could be a blessing because the chances of him purposefully hurting you or cheating are very low. But, at the same time, would maybe end up reading too much into things or situations and end up disappointed/upset, even when he doesn't have reason to be.

He essentially could very well take a grain of salt and make it into a whole ocean. He'd also be pretty easy to fix things with I think, because he seems very direct. He's either the type to blurt out everything at once or be so overdramatically upset that you couldn't help but ask what was wrong.

Hyunjin wouldn't stand toxic or overly possessive behavior, I think. He'd end up having a big argument and break up pretty quickly if the relationship was fresh, but could try to 'gaslight' himself into thinking that it's just because you love him too much, until everything inevitably goes to hell (and you'd have a messy breakup). Would 100% cry for days on end and let it out through art (all kinds).

I have to admit though, that I don't think that he would be completely against a little jealousy. Again, he's a romantic (a little delulu, if you will) and would probably like a bit of the angst/teasing that comes with possessiveness/jealousy.

Would 100% do some movie-like stuff like come up to you and kiss you passionately in front of a person that was flirting/eyeing you up and down a little too much, just to prove the point.

Would also probably enjoy you doing the same (still a normal amount, I mean). This applies to the bedroom too, for sure. The words 'I'm yours/you're mine' are probably in a whole special chapter of his personal romance mind-book.

Jisung ‗ ❍

Yes, he would get jealous. To an extent. He's very sweet and likes to have fun and play around a lot, which is why I feel like this wouldn't show as much if he was in a healthy relationship, maybe with someone who is calmer than him.

In that case I think that the occasional jealousy would come mainly from him wanting to be the very best version of himself for you, and seeing you interact with people that seem to be able to give you something 'better than him', would upset him.

He would definitely bottle it up and either wait until you notice or explode in a random moment of vulnerability. He'd feel so bad afterwards. Why would it be you fault if he was not being enough for you?

I also feel like these intrusive thoughts and overthinking would never fully go away, but he'd try to tell himself to at least trust you and the loving words that you tell him. He tells himself that if you're still with him, there must be something that he's doing right at the end of the day.

If he happened to be caught up with a more jealous/obsessive person though, it would get SO messy. He can be a hot head sometimes, or so we've heard, so of course if you put two hot heads together what do you get? A big mess.

I feel like sometimes him being so much in his own head could make him seriously question his actions, especially if someone else is pointing them out to him.

I think that an obsessive behavior from a partner would be an absolute deal breaker, but unfortunately it'd depend on how deep he is into the relationship.

If you were at the early stages, then he'd have a way clearer mind to end things. But if maybe this had been going on for a while or he was truly into you, it would be a lot harder for him to deal with it in a healthy way. You would end up arguing A LOT and probably be toxic as hell with each other.

That being said, I think that he wouldn't necessarily have a thing/kinks related to this type of behaviors, but angry/make up sex would 100% be a thing. In that case, I'd expect him to go a little crazy with it.

Felix ‗ ❍

Felix seems to have a similar vibe to Jeongin, I think. He'd try as much as possible to avoid any type of uncomfortable/bad dynamics in a relationship.

For this to happen, though, he would have to be with someone that matches his vibe and that he could trust completely.

I don't think that there are things or situations that could get him actually jealous per se, but he could be feeling a little insecure in very random moments.

Like a casual comment on another person that you may find attractive and doesn't share some of his personality traits or features. Or maybe not as much as he'd like, which means that he'll think that's also what you would like, so he'd feel like he's not enough.

He would tend to get a little into his own head in these situations, which means that it would be up to you to actually understand if something was wrong. He'd eventually talk it out and forget pretty quickly about whatever the problem was, with the right amount of praise and affection.

I think Felix would be really turned off with a partner that would get overly jealous or possessive, especially if unjustified. BUT, I wouldn't rule out him actually being a little into it either.

For example if he was getting his make up or hair done and you'd say something like 'I wish that was my job' or something similar to tease him. I feel like he would find it amusing and genuinely boost his confidence, since of course he loves you and wants you to want him, too.

Could see him play around with it in the bedroom a little, especially to tease you. Careful or he might start purring if you'd go with something along the lines of 'The prettiest boy, and it's mine'

Seungmin ‗ ❍

He seems to be a quite cynical person. And can be a little insecure at times. Put these together, and you'll have a pretty emotionally unavailable man (sometimes).

The two things that could get Seungmin jealous are self doubt and possessiveness. He's someone who will love with all his heart, but that could scare him sometimes.

He would almost be afraid of loving too much and feeding into a 'delusion' (hence all the 'I don't believe in forever' stuff), that if broken, would absolutely crush him. He'd mostly blame/get mad at himself for allowing his heart to take over his mind.

He'd probably be quite afraid of not being enough > get embarrassed and mad at himself > shut you out because he's way too much in his own head. It would take some cooling off and some overthinking before he'd eventually even listen to you.

He's also someone who values actions way more than words, and this particular mindset would be useful whenever he's feeling a little jealous or possessive. It wouldn't be that easy to get him riled up, and he'd also probably not really act on it either. He gives off a petty/cold shoulder type of vibe more than an outburst.

Any type of jealousy would eventually be born from his own insecurity, not from him not trusting you. These situations would be fixed pretty quickly as soon as you'd manage to get him out of his head, whether it is from some sort of verbal reassurance or a physical action.

For example a hand hold at the right moment, including him in conversations, a random word of praise, a sweet phrase. On the other hand, this jealousy could very well be taken out in the bedroom too, I think. Would kinda get off on the whole 'I'm yours/you're mine' thing.

In general unless if you were are a pretty obsessive person yourself, he wouldn't give you reasons to get jealous. He seems pretty shy and quite careful with getting too comfortable, especially with strangers. He'd probably reflect on himself and eventually either work it out or be a deal breaker to him.

Jeongin ‗ ❍

Jeongin also seems like a person that wouldn't like the idea of jealousy or in general to deal with negative feelings.

He can get insecure sometimes but I feel like he'd end up making the problem about himself and wouldn't get 'triggered' by jealousy in regards of another person.

The only times in which he could get slightly annoyed is seeing you have fun with someone else that isn't him simply because he wants to be the one to make you happy all the time.

Jeongin really does look like the kind of guy who is just chill. If there aren't any issues within your relationship, he's not gonna be the first to make them. I also think that he wouldn't overthink on these type of things. If he decides to be with you in the first place it means that he trusts you and you probably have a similar mindset.

That's why I think that if you ever ended up being jealous over him, it would come as a surprise and not necessarily a good one. Of course it's different if you're joking, but he still wouldn't put up with it for long. I truly just feel like he hates the concept.

If he was the accused one, at first he'd try to talk it out and understand what made you react like that, and eventually apologize to make sure that he never does it again. But if your accusations came out to be meaningless and it was you being obsessive, he'd probably end the whole relationship. Straight up.

It doesn't feel like a possession/possessive kink would be a thing in the bedroom, either. Not denying nor thinking too much on a dom/sub type of dynamic at all, I just think that remarkings like 'I'm yours/you're mine' type of thing wouldn't be his cup of tea.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

[rainy-astrology]

BTS Jungkook Birth chart analysis

Based on my opinions and observations. Not an expert. May change later.

September 1st, 1997

Busan, South Korea

3:25 PM

☀️♍️, 🌙♍️, ⬆️♑️

Sun, Moon, and Mercury are in Virgo, giving him a Virgo stellium. He is detail oriented, helpful and reliable, and incredibly hard working, not a slacker at all. The downsides are that he's likely very critical on himself and others (but more likely on himself; Virgos are just...a little too self aware lol), perfectionistic, nitpicky, and can be an overthinker. E.g the time he was crying about a small mistake he made on stage that the other members hadn't seen at all. They all sit in the 8th house as well and form conjunctions to each other (sun conjunct moon and mercury, moon conjunct mercury)

Virgo Sun in 8th is very private and maybe even shy. Jungkook's not really an extrovert tbh, he has a small circle and is often seen hanging out with the same few friends. This placement is quite picky with who they choose to let into their life - they have to be extremely sure they can trust you to completely let you in their inner world.

Moon in 8th is an intense placement. Very strong feelings here. Having a Virgo moon though should help calm the intensity a little or at least help him navigate his feelings in a more structured way. Virgo moons tends to analyze and rationalize their thoughts and feelings. This could explain why Jungkook's never been the type to openly show his deeper feelings. This house can be transactional and Virgo is a sign of service, so he may find security in helping/servicing others. And people like to reciprocate the helpful energy for him too.

Mercury in 8th is a deeply curious and investigative placement. Virgo mercury is especially detailed - nothing gets past Jungkook. It's known he lurked around in fandom space on tiktok and twitter, so he most likely knows all the jokes and other things the fans talk about. This placement wants to understand things deeply.

Neptune, Uranus, and Jupiter are in 1st house. Neptune (illusions) and Uranus (unpredictable and constant change) can make a person chameleon-like in terms of appearance and Jungkook is versatile in fashion. It could explain why it was a bit confusing to guess his rising sign.

Jupiter in 1st - puts in a lot of effort into everything he does, may sometimes overdo things. Tries to be optimistic and upbeat, wants to enjoy life to the fullest.

Libra Venus is domicile and in 9th. Curious and knowledge seeking, especially curious about new cultures and places

Mars Scorpio in the 10th is very passionate and ambitious. Very determined to succeed in his career and reach all the goals he sets for himself. His motto "I would rather die than live without passion" is a perfect example of this placement.

Saturn in 3rd - some sort of challenge with communication. This placement can be very shy and maybe even a bit self conscious, socially anxious. Jungkook was incredibly shy when he was younger - iirc he would even cry when asked to sing and used to be so shy around the members predebut in general.

Pluto in 11th - a strange tense relationship with the idea of friendship. He didn't have much close friends when he was young and going to a whole new city made him even lonelier. However meeting BTS gave him friendship, which helped his loneliness a lot. They even helped him get over his shyness and support him with anything he does. He cares very deeply about them, even crying when they were talking about the struggles they were going through. He considers them his family, which makes sense since he was basically raised by them. He himself is quite influential as well (a given as he's a huge celebrity though) and can pretty much make anything he likes and anywhere goes become very popular.

Chiron in 10th - worried about how his image and reputation is perceived by others. Considering how incredibly shy Jungkook was when he was younger, it's not surprising he may have had a lot of self doubt about his journey to being an idol (along with the very self critical Virgo stellium. Chiron in 10th + Virgo stellium is careful and perfectionistic in order to have a good image). There may be issues of self esteem and power (mainly with authority and/or with himself) within his life.

With North Node in 8th though, it pushes Jungkook to be more open to create relations with others. He doesn't have to do everything alone - he should learn to rely on others and be comfortable being more open, both mentally and emotionally.

Capricorn rising is a little surprising ngl...However, I think it explains his physical features well. His eyes (I've noticed many Cap placements have big eyes), his face structure, and especially his hair. Capricorn rising hair is always very noticeable considering Capricorns rule hair. And like most earth risings, he can be down to earth and reserved - he keeps to himself a lot. Definitely very hard working like a Capricorn, ambitious and strives for success.

His Libra MC could be why many people thought he was a Libra rising. It is at 29°, a Leo degree, so that could also explain why people thought he could have been a Leo rising too. Libra mc is artsy and creative, which shows in his art skills in drawing, photography, and editing. Obviously his singing and dancing as well. It's apparent in his fashion too: experimenting with his hair styles, his sleeve tattoo, his piercings, and darker yet neat clothing style.

___

Other analysis:

MBTI | Enneagram

___

Kpop astrology list

___

[vanessafaron]

I feel like I am truly getting in my own way. I understand the law to the point I can explain it to a beginner but when it comes to applying it as part of my own practice, I can never seem to trust myself.

Each time I decide to go all in and change my state of being, I am in constant doubt that I'm not doing it right. There is this sinking feeling that I have not successfully changed self. I end up being hyperaware of what I'm feeling. I read other experiences and they talk about this deep knowing that comes when you change your state of being but I don't feel that and I keep checking the outer world (despite knowing that it is a reflection of my past state) I have been studying Neville and Edward Art for a while now (like 4 years) and I've tried to fulfill the inner man and everything but you might have guessed-nothing changed.

I know this is because I didn't change SELF successfully (I don't doubt the law at all). But after such a long time, I'm kinda tired and I just want to escape. Can you pls advise me on what to do Vanessa:(

Firstly, I want to make it clear that you are not doing anything wrong. I know it's hard to trust yourself but I need you to know that you are the operant power. There is nothing outwith you that you cannot control and there is no set rules for how to apply the Law, what it comes down to is your assumptions. That's why it's called the Law of Assumption.

It seems to me like you are comparing your journey to others and I sympathize, because I used to do the same. I used to look at "successful shifters/manifesters" and think that I was doing something wrong just because my journey didn't look exactly like theirs. If you know this is something you do, I would advise against being on social media for the moment or at least wherever you see Law of Assumption content. I know that's easier said than done but the mental break can give you so much clarity, I really recommend it.

If you do this, the next thing to realise is that, like I said, there's no rules for how you apply. As long as you assume that what you're doing is right, you're doing it right. The only thing is to know you have what you want. You said you don't think you feel that inner fulfillment and knowing but in my experience, it's more of a decision rather than a feeling. I would have days where I would overthink if what I was doing was correct because the way people describe the "feeling" is so vague, but all it really is, is making a decision and sticking to it. Even in your bad days where you feel like you're doing it wrong, persist in the decision that you have what you desire. And just keep persisting.

If you find yourself getting upset/bothered by 3D circumstances and feeling like you reacting to it is going to affect your manifestations, don't. You have the choice of separating those negative feelings from the inner self. You can feel frustrated, I still get frustrated a lot, but I've learned that my feelings and I (self) are different. I know that I (self) have everything I desire, even if I (3D) feel awful.

I would say as well that persisting can feel uncomfortable at first, because your subconscious wants to revert back to what's comfortable to you, which for most people is misery and helplessness. Because we are used to it. But the more you do it, the easier it becomes. You really just need to know you're doing it right. Why? Because you said so. You are the operant power. You can make the rules.

If you assume that you manifest every time you eat cereal, guess what? That's going to be true. A ridiculous example, but one that shows that you make the rules.

If it helps also, maybe take a break from manifestation content or feeling the pressure to control every single thought, don't exhaust yourself. Manifestation doesn't have to be exhausting. Be kind to yourself.

I'm not sure if this helps but I hope so.

I truly wish you the best and I appreciate you reaching out for help.

[hikakuriyyu]

Tension. (part 5)

⁎ warnings: romantic slasher ? neglect, mentions of murder, manipulation, female!reader.

⁎ summary: you fell for him. hard. the murders started, and you knew it was him. billy lured you into his dark and twisted intentions. it was so wrong. but it doesn't feel wrong... there was something stopping you. or someone.

⁎ author note: hii. im so grateful for all the notes and followers i got for this series :) sorry for taking so long i caught the flu :( this ones a little short :p

Living with Billy felt like a dream at first. The two of you, no more hiding, no more masks—just you and him. It was everything you’d always wanted. Billy as your boyfriend was something you never thought would happen, not like this. The thrill of being with him, knowing you were the one he chose, made it all worth it.

But lately… something was off.

At first, it was little things. He’d stay out late without saying where he was going, or he’d brush you off when you asked about it. Then he started getting quieter, not the same smirking, charming Billy you knew. You couldn’t shake the feeling that he was pulling away. Like he was already tired of the life you’d built together.

You tried to ignore it, but every time you looked at him, there was this distance that wasn’t there before. And the worst part? You didn’t know why.

01:34 AM: Billy's house:

You are sitting on Billy’s couch, the dim light of the living room casting shadows on the walls. You have been waiting for him all night, your thoughts racing with doubt and anxiety. The clock on the wall ticks loudly in the silence. It’s well past midnight when the door finally creaks open, and Billy walks in, looking casual but distant. You stood up as soon as he entered, your heart pounding. "Where were you ? I’ve been waiting for hours… again." You said, with a hint of neglect and sadness in your eyes. You HAD to ask him what was going on, you were already suspicious of him.

"Had some things to take care of. Why ? Got a problem with that ?" Billy answered, barely looking up as he tosses his jacket onto a chair, his tone indifferent. You feel your chest tighten. This isn’t the same Billy who used to hang on your every word. There’s a coldness now, like you've become an afterthought. ''You've been doing this every night. Ignoring me. Avoiding me. What's going on ?'' You ask with a shaky voice, trying to keep it together. You were genuinely hurt. What if this was a mistake ?

Billy looked at you and sighed, stepping closer to you. ''C'mere babe.'' he said, opening his arms. You wanted to refuse, but you couldn't. You stepped in his arms and engulfed him in a hug. ''I miss the way things used to be. I miss us.'' you said, tearing up. You were overthinking the entire thing. What if you never agreed to start the killings with him ? What if you never ran away with him ? What if you never fell in love ?

''Don't cry. I'm still here...'' he said before suddenly pulling you tighter towards him, a little too tight. ''I'm the reason you have somewhere to stay. Don't forget that.'' he whispered coldly before letting go of you, walking upstairs. You look at him with shock and hurt, tears flowing down your cheeks. You decide to brush it off by assuming he was in a bad mood, even though this wasn't the first time.

Later on, you were in Billy's kitchen. His earlier coldness was still lingering in your mind. You couldn't sleep after he said what he said. You were starting to second guess the choice of being with him. Billy, having noticed your lingering frustration, decides it's time to charm his way back into your good graces. He approaches you with a gentle, almost too-sweet smile, his tone soft and sorry.

''Hey,'' he said as he wrapped his arms around your waist from behind, giving you a soft peck on your cheek. ''I'm sorry about earlier, I'm going through alot right now.'' he murmured. You sigh, not quite believing him anymore. He noticed your hesitation and sighed. ''C'mon, i said i was sorry. You could atleast forgive me.'' He looks into your eyes, his gaze tender, filled with a fake sincerity that almost makes you forget the earlier neglect.

"You’re the most important person in my life, we’re so close to having the life we’ve always dreamed of. But there’s one last thing we need to do, and I need your help..." he said. Your heart skips a beat at the mention of a new task. You're wary but hopeful that this will be the moment they can finally leave Woodsboro behind and start over.

Billy looks at you before gently squeezing your hand. "Look, I need you to trust me. This is the final step." he said before moving closer, brushing a stray lock of hair behind your ear with a feather-light touch. His voice is a soft murmur, almost hypnotic. ''I need you to kill Gale.''

You freeze. Kill... Gale...? You slowly turn to him with a shocked look on your face, shaking your head. ''Billy... you promised. You promised me we wouldn't hurt any more people ! We already did enough !'' you exclaimed. You did not want to go back to your old ways, his old ways. You were good with what was going on now. Billy's eyes darkened before stepping closer. ''I'm just saying; you kill Gale, take her money, we leave Woodsboro. You won't get caught.'' he murmured. ''Do it for me. For us. I love you.''

You couldn't help but feel a rush of warmth inside you. He barely ever told you that he loved you. But he did. Your eyes softened before thinking about it. If you killed Gale and took her money, you and Billy would have enough money to buy another house. But killing Gale would just be so cruel. Billy waited for your answer, staring into your eyes. ''Can't you figure out another way to earn money ?'' you asked him quietly. ''No. I can't apply for a job that would be inconvenient... please.'' Billy pleaded softly, also with a hint of impatience in his voice. You sighed and looked at the ground, considering this decision. What's next ?

To Be Continued...