#or if you don’t

[veilord]

I’m writing this because I can’t stop thinking about sbg and I’m really excited for the next chapters but I’m really impatient and I can’t buy coins :(

I love “School Bus Graveyard” so much and I recently reread the entire comic because I stoped reading for a while. I had fun but it really reinforced the major criticisms I have with it, and that is the pacing and telling instead of showing.

The best way I can think to explain it is that the story goes to fast, especially in the first season.

Like it starts with the cold open to the kids almost getting got by the phantom before going back to give us the context of what’s happening. And this works great to hook readers when the start of the story is a bit slow. Then we have the kids bonding on the trip before they are pulled into the phantom dimension for the first time, and it’s great!! I love the first night and was getting so invested in what would happen next! Then it skips back to the time during the opening.

Skipping boring or irrelevant stuff in a story is expected, we don’t want to watch the kids go to all their classes during school if we don’t need to. This skip isn’t like that, it skips over a lot of interesting story that we need to know about to understand how the kids got into the situation they’re in during the opening. So the story has to full us in on the stuff skipped and dose so by just having Ashlyn monologue about it.

I didn’t notice when I was reading but thinking back this happens a lot, the story skips ahead to the more plot relevant and exciting stuff and has Ashlyn fill in what we missed. This results in the story having almost no downtime which, isn’t good. It makes the story very fast and can be confusing, like when preparing for getting the jeep Ashlyn says it takes a lot of preparation and practice, but we don’t see any of it. So when the plan goes wrong because the keys were moved we aren’t as panicked and confused as the kids. Well it may have been weeks or months in story for us it seems like a few days at most. I have no clue how long they have actually been dealing with the phantoms but the way the story is paced makes it seem like they have only been dealing with it for a short time, making how stressed and tired they are seem like to much.

But I find the biggest problem with the pacing and lack of downtime is how it screws over the characters. When the time skips happen we lose so much character building. We don’t see how they interacted right after the first night in the phantom dimension, how they handled the second night, how they all got to the graveyard, all the arguments about going back to savanna, what they text in the group chat, visiting each others houses, Tyler teaching Ben guitar, just hanging out. When we are told backstory’s they don’t hit very hard because we don’t know much about the characters, we never got to know them. When Tyler falls on the tree and we get his backstory it’s informative and sad and stuff, but then it tells us that Tyler sees the gang as a second family and… what. When I first read that I was genuinely confused, it felt like it came out of nowhere, like they just met, he barely knows any of them. But they didn’t just meet, they’ve known each other for months and have been surviving together every night and hanging out often during the day, but we didn’t see any of it. We only see them in stressful situations so we never really see Tyler warm up to the group, we don’t get the sense that any of these kids are really friends most of the time. The few hangout scenes we get are so good, they let us relax and get to know the characters as they get to know each other. And we know that they hang out more than the two times shown so it super sucks we don’t see more.

The characters need more room to breathe and establish themselves as individuals and as part of the group. As it is whenever one character get more focus it feels like the others are pushed to the side, like there isn’t enough room for all of them when I think there could be more then enough room.

I hope this makes sense I’m not proofreading it lmao. I do really like this story and a lot of my complaints feel less relevant to season two, but because a lot of these problems happen in season one when set up and character building is most important for establishing a steady base for the story to build on it’s very noticeable even as the writing improves. Maybe one day Red can go back and improve the story somehow, but that seems unlikely so I hope these issues continue to be improved as the comic goes on.

[teaboot]

Yeah Mr. Darcy’s proposal was a complete turd and a half but you gotta understand. You got your life together. A good career, stable income, retirement plan, all that shit together. And you meet this girl. And she’s everything. Clever, outspoken, funny, calls you on your bullshit. Grade A cutie, right? And she doesn’t go out of her way to spend time with you but she’s nice, and sometimes you catch her looking your way in a way that makes you think you might have a shot.

But her family. Holy shit.

First off, it’s p much ALL women, and mostly UNMARRIED women, which at this time means of something happens to her dad then you’re financially responsible for like. Four grown ass adults, potentially forever

Because mom in law is DEFINITELY gonna need someone to take care of her when dad in law kicks it, and they have like. NO money. So already you’re accepting that if all goes well, you’re gonna be one random old bag’s retirement home. That’s expensive and exhausting, yeah? Imagine asking someone on a first date knowing that if they say yes and things go good her high-strung chihuahua mother is gonna move in with you. IMAGINE.

And girly’s other sisters. Well, one is a sweetheart, yeah, so she probably won’t be an issue, but that still leaves three more, and two of those ones are INSUFFERABLE. Never went to school, dumb as rocks, spend cash like it’s toilet paper

And while one of the two is young still and might grow out of it the OTHER one is actively torpedo’ing her entire family’s reputation by wandering off with random dudes and chasing ass. She’s never gonna work, she can’t build connections, she’s a fucking sinkhole, and she’s being led on by the same goddamn con man ass leeching tit who’s been bleeding you dry while telling anyone who’ll listen that your family is full of ratty thieving bastards.

And if he dumps her after a week- WHICH YOU KNOW HIS BITCH ASS IS GONNA- you’ve got a SECOND UNMARRIABLE GROWN ASS ADULT TO PROVIDE FOR. And you KNOW she’s gonna be a tantrum-throwing little shit about it, and it’s not like you can lock her in the basement or something, you’re gonna have to bring her fucking. Everywhere. And give her an allowance and shit while she contributes zero, because again, she NEVER GOT EDUCATED AND HAS NO MARKETABLE SKILLS. She’s not even good to TALK to. FUCK

And you’re looking at this girl’s father like “please for the love of fuck get your spawn under control, marry them off, get them working on their résumé, learning to sew or be nursemaids or manage staff or SOMETHING, yall got no money and one foot in the grave” and that old man just laughs like “haha yeah, what can you do. lol”

So you’re looking to the mom and finally it’s making sense how she got that twitch in her eye and as MUCH as she is you’re starting to realize she’s the SMART one, desperately throwing her armloads of girls at random men like they’re a bunch of fucking lifeboats bobbing around a sinking ship, like yes Jesus Christ sweetly that life boat IS old and ugly and kind of boring but for FUCKS SAKE PICK ONE

And you look back at this girl who is ALSO REFUSING THE LIFE BOATS BY THE WAY and god damn it she’s still the most radiant thing you’ve ever seen so fine, fuck it, Christ alive, you’ll do it. You’ll shoot your shot. She’s everything you’ve ever wanted in anybody abut it’s not even just about that anymore, it’s about being her best fucking shot at a future, and even if she doesn’t like you all that much she’s still gonna say yes and that might break your heart a bit knowing it’s about the money but who knows, maybe it will at least be civil, or companionable, and even if she doesn’t LOVE you at least you’ll know she’s well and cared for

And so you’ll do it. You’ll take on the neurotic stress mess mother in law, the absent father, the broke ass wingnut no brain no money no future airhead sisters, the bad mannered relatives and the embarrassing behaviour and the impending future of sharing your entire shit with a clown parade of freeloaders, you’ll risk it all and accept the absolute certainty of financial ruin and emotional exhaustion for the rest of your whole ass life and you’ll make your own family deal with it too, you’ll do it, you’ll fucking DO IT, you stupid lovesick motherfucker

And so you go to this chick like “look. Your whole family’s a shitshow. You’ve got fucking nothing and you’re gonna die on the street. But for some reason- and I don’t get it either- I’ve fallen in love with you, and I wish I didn’t, but I did, so I’m telling you that whether you like me or not, I’ll give you everything. I’ll give you everything even if it’s the dumbest shit I ever done. Fuck my stupid Baka ass, I’ll marry you.”

And she looks at you- having heard or considered absolutely none of your months-long internal debate and monologue- and goes “The fuck did you just say about my family, you son of a bitch?”

And the shock of that is enough to jolt you back into a reality where you are able to actually hear and process what just came out of your damn mouth And yeah

Yeah, I think I kinda get it

[meanao3thoughts]

a feel like the new generation of fanfic readers NEED to understand that clicking on a fic (interaction) does nothing. ao3 has no algorithm. your private discord discussions of fic do not reach the authors. if you do not actively engage with writers they will stop posting. this isn’t social media this is community.

[great-and-small]

Free bumper sticker design for any Floridians who want it

[heresylog]

I don’t care if you make fun of Catholicism as long as it’s accurate! The best humour has its roots in the truth.

[yourmajestybee]

EVERYONE NEEDS TO LOOK AT HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON UNTRAINABLE THE STAGE PLAY RN

[areawest]

THE WIGGLES JUST RELEASED A SONG CALLED “WE’RE FRIENDS OF DOROTHY”??????

[evilgoodguys]

...clearly, he's not jealous.

[goldensunset]

if someone is talking about how much they love their parents do not jump in and start venting about your issues with your parents. if someone is venting about their issues with their parents do not jump in and start talking about how much you love your parents. peace and love amen swag city

[specialagentartemis]

“Be curious about what you’re writing about” is not stock Common Writing Advice but it really, really should be. There are a lot of written works that fail due to the authors just being obviously incurious about what they are writing about.

[gayvampyr]

asking people to be mindful of others when sharing a communal space (especially one you cannot just up and leave from) is not selfish or misanthropic. come on now

[doctorwhowatchesthewatchmen]

shipping isn’t about what the writers or actors say is or isn’t romantic. shipping isn’t even about romance a good percentage of the time. shipping is about seeing The Dynamic and going absolutely hog wild in your mind and your friends dms about it.

[tinkerbitch69]

Are they ‘trauma dumping’ or are they just discussing their life experience and you are such an asshole that you can’t stand to be confronted with information that makes you uncomfortable for 0.005 seconds???

[dxnyarya]

“sotr is mid because you already know how it ends” shut the fuck up, the point of the book is that despite knowing how it ends you would have never known what actually went down because that’s the point of propaganda, the whole book is about the power of propaganda

[starbuck]

so many bands write songs about “relatable issues” that don’t resonate while the mountain goats write songs about issues no one has ever experienced before that are universal