#or just sink more $$ into my current car through a few more years to save

[emblazons]

My week has been so damn stressful on the financial front I haven’t even wanted to make gifs or be online to analyze lmao but. I did start Heartstopper in an attempt to soothe myself with tooth-rotting fluff 😭😂

[chososwifey24-7]

Vacation...

This is by far probably one of my favorite oneshots I've made so far! It'll be a mix between a oneshot and a smau. If you guys enjoy this kind of content, please let me know!

Boyfriend gojo x fem!reader

Cw: swearing, pre-relationship with gojo, gojo being a silly goose.

Work had been kicking your ass recently. Paper on paper, presentation on top of presentation. You currently sat at your desk, finishing up yet another paper your boss told you to finish. Not only was it because your boss didn't want to do it, but your other colleagues didn't want to either. So you were the best option.

You finally had hit submit and sighed stretching a bit. Checking your phone you saw a text from Gojo.

You and Gojo had recently decided to finally start dating. You had been to dinner with each other on multiple occasions, and he always had such a fun personality. He was always there to cheer you up.

That was the opposite the night prior to today, though. You had informed him you were going on vacation for a week. He groaned and complained about how he was going to miss you, but you honestly needed the trip.

In the meantime, you had asked him to look after your sweetheart, your baby, your cat. You have had your cat for about 2 years now. She was everything to you.

Gojo agreed reluctantly, only because he was a little sour about you not being there with him. He wouldn't really complain though. He loved you too much.

That night, he had peppered your face with kisses as you sat, parked, in the passenger seat. His grip on your hand gentle, but unyeilding.

After reminiscing on the whiny Gojo of yesterday, you packed up all of your work supplies and left for your car. Home time it was. You had to make sure the place looked nice for Gojo. After all, this was his first time at your apartment.

Arriving home, you looked around at the fairly clean place. There were a few dishes in the sink, and the living room needed to be vacuumed. Nothing much really. So you got to work.

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You had lied to yourself. There was plenty that needed to be done. Laundry, both from your clothes and the towels in the bathroom. You totally forgot about your bedroom. Knowing Gojo he'd atleast peak in and see what your room looked like.

So finally, after about an hour and a half later, the house looked fairly neat and nice.

That's when your cat strolled into your room without a care and jumped up onto your bed to get your attention. She had begun purring without even needing to be pet.

You reached out and pet her gently, smiling softly as you did so.unyielding.

6ou couldn't imagine a day without your cat. She was always around and always so gentle with you. She never seemed to be annoyed with your presence like some other cats you've seen. She was your angel.

Listening to her pur, you pulled her closer to you and scratched behind her ears, smiling happily.

That's when your phone pinged with a message. Messages from gojo.

You snickered to yourself at how whiny Gojo was being already. You couldn't imagine how bad it was going to get through out the week.

You got up off the bed, leaving your baby there and went to grab a pen and some paper. You need to write down the feeding schedule for Gojo.

See, your cat was quite particular on when she got her food. If she got it too early in the day, she wouldn't eat it, and vice versa.

You did your best to prepare everything for Gojo, and did your best to calm your anxious nerves.

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Before you left, you had given Gojo her schedule for when she eats and all, but besides that your baby was easy to take care of.

He pouted for a little bit but eventually let you go, but not before littering your entire face and neck in sweet kisses.

It was almost hard for you to let him go after all of the sweet affection he had given you. It just made you fall more in love with him by the second.

You reminisced again. One of your favorite pastimes, it was always so refreshing to look back at all the good memories. All of the sweet times.

At the moment, you were sitting on the shore of a beach in the Bahamas. It was a really gorgeous place. It truly was the relaxer you needed. It was only the first day, too! You wondered how much better this could get.

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It wasn't until the second day closer to your baby's dinner time that you texted Gojo to see how your cute cat was doing.

You laughed a little at the look of your cat in Gojo's glasses. It truly was a cute sight. You never really took him as the type to like cats, but here you were.

Gojo was always so sweet and gentle with you, you wouldn't have wanted to trust any one else with your cat. She also seemed to enjoy having Gojo around.

At least you assumed as such, Gojo hadn't texted you yet about her being chaotic or scratching him, so they must be getting along, right?

You think you can rest easier now knowing that she was safe with Gojo. He really did seem like the best boyfriend ever.

No, he was the best boyfriend ever.

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You and Gojo continued to text back and forth continuously about the cat and even Gojo himself. He sent messages after you'd ask about your cat every once in a while. They'd always say something like, "what about me? You should ask me how I'm doing."

They always made you giggle a bit, and you'd ask him how he was doing. He was so silly. He knew you loved him and worried about his well-being, too. Somehow, the Bahamas didn't even seem that interesting anymore. You wanted to be with your cute cat and your goofy boyfriend.

Thank goodness you were on your way to the airport now and on your way home. You couldn't wait to see your boyfriend. Couldn't wait to cuddle your cat. Well, Gojo would probably want cuddles, too.

Which you were more than willing to give. Always more than willing to give.

After all, what would you do without Gojo, and what would he do without you.

[dizzyjelly]

A Nice Dinner

Word Count: 2.4k

Summary: your niece Fiona is in town and asks to go to dinner with you, Abby, and your daughter Hailey, you agree of course. You wait for Abby, your wife, to return home from work before you head out. Dinner doesn't go super well but after some reassurance from Abby you feel better.

Cw: meltdown, stress, crying, teensiest fight between reader and Abby

A/n: ok so this won the poll i posted yesterday so here yall go!! Don't even worry bc I will still be posting Our Little Secret pt. 2, I just need to finish writing it lmao. Also PLEASE lmk if you guys like this type of wife/mama Abby bc I'd definitely write more of it if u do! And feel free to leave requests as well:)))

Your cheeks hurt from smiling so much. You were sat at the kitchen table with your daughter Hailey, she was in her highchair smiling from ear to ear as you fed her. Sure she could eat her own food seeing as she was three years old, but she was just so cute when she let you do it. It was her last bite as your phone began to rang.

You gave her a loving pat on the head before going to place the bowl and spoon into the sink then pick up the phone.

"Hi." You greeted.

"Hey! So you know how we're staying at thst place this week? Well it's only like a half hour drive from where you guys are." Your niece Fiona answered.

"Oh really? That's awesome! We're yall thinking of coming down here?" You asked, Fiona and her parents were on vacation this week.

"Well actually my parents were going on a date for their anniversary and I was wondering if I could come and maybe we could all go to dinner? I'd love to see Hailey!" She exclaimed.

Fiona had always adored Hailey, she even babysat a few times when needed. Well that was back when you lived nearby. Either way, of course you wanted to go out to dinner with her.

"That'd be just great Fiona. I'm sure Hailey would love to see you too, so will Abby and I." Abby was your wife, who was currently at work.

You and Fiona worked out the rest of the details as you texted Abby about the plans. She was on board and seemed pretty excited as well. You'd offered to pick Fona up but she said she would be fine since she had her own car. Once you got off the phone you took Hailey from her high chair and brought her into the living room. You sat and watched her favorite cartoons while you waited for Abby to get home.

♡♡♡

After pretty much doing nothing but watching cartoons and snuggling Hailey, you deemed it was time to get ready. Abby would be home in just under an hour and Hailey was still in her pajamas, as were you. So you'd taken her upstairs to her room first, so she could pick something to wear.

You were pleasantly surprised when she chose something that actually matched. A pair of jean shorts with her favorite t-shirt which was green with a dinosaur on the front. After a quick diaper change you got her dressed then told her to go in the playroom while you got ready. She ran to play with her dollhouse and you went into you and Abbys shared bedroom.

It's not like you were going anywhere super fancy, so you chose something simple. A pair of biker shorts and an older band tee that used to belong to your older brother. Which you found fitting since Fiona was his daughter. You brushed out your hair then put it up in a ponytail, making sure to take out some wispies on either side of your face.

Now that you were all read you went to see what Hailey was up to in the playroom. Thankfully she hadn't made a huge mess, there were just a few barbies lying around which didn't bother you. You motioned for her to come follow you downstairs where you would wait for Abby to arrive home.

A little while later and she was walking through the front door, still in scrubs and her bag thrown over her shoulder. Hailey ran to greet Abby immediately, wrapping her arms around her leg as she shouted out 'mama' in the most adorable way. Abby chuckled, patting her head then smiling st you as you came to give her a hug.

"How was work?" You asked as you pulled away, Abby kept a hand on your waist.

"Fine, gotta go change. When's Fiona getting here?" Abby asked as she gently removed Hailey from her leg and started walking upstairs.

"Oh probably like a half hour or so." You answered, leaving her to get ready alone.

You'd come to learn that Abby enjoyed some alone time when she got home from work. Even if it was just five minutes, she needed to be by herself for a little. So when Hailey tried to run after her, you picked her up and went to continue cartoons instead.

Abby was coming back downstairs in no time, now dressed in a comfortable pair of grey sweats and a black hoodie. She came to join you and Hailey on the couch, holding an arm around you as she pulled you into her side and Hailey laid across both of your laps. A smile formed on Abbys lips as she brushed her hair back out of her face.

It wasn't long before there was a knock at the door, you left Hailey to lay in Abbys arms as you went to answer it. As you opened the door you noticed your niece had gotten taller, and with a smile you pulled her in for a quick hug before closing the door. Immediately she made her way to sit beside Abby on the couch and scoop Hailey up into her arms.

"Hi Fiona." Abby greeted with a chuckle at her affection for Hailey.

"Hey!" Fiona replied.

You smiled as Abby made her way over to where you stood in the living room, pressing her chest against your back as she wrapped her arms around your waist. Fiona was so involved in Hailey she hadn't even noticed as you wo shared a quick kiss. You let your hands come to rest on Abbys before speaking.

"Well we can probably all fit in Abbys truck, we're ready whenever you are Fi." You shrugged, only now did Fiona look your way.

"Oh yeah, let's go." She smiled, carrying Hailey out to the car as she played with her hair.

Since you trusted her enough, you and Abby let Fiona get Hailey buckled up before you drove to dinner. Abby let you drive, which was rare and usually meant she had to just be exhausted. You understood though, work usually had her pretty beat by the end of the day.

The car was silent for the first minute or so, but it soon filled with the light hum of the radio. Then also the conversing between you, Abby, and Fiona. The occasional babble from Hailey would make its way in there as well. You guys didn't chat about much, just caught up really.

You arrived at the restaurant and exited the car. Abby got Hailey from her carseat, letting her walk on her tiny sandal-clad feet up to the door. Then once she entered she brought her up into her arms, knowing she'd try and run off and probably get herself into some trouble.

"Hi, three and a high chair please." Abby greeted the hostess.

You admired the way she would always lead when you went out, take control. It was nice to know you had someone to take care of you like that. The hostess grabbed three regular menus and one kids then took you back to your table. It was in a more secluded corner of the restaurant, which wad nice.

You and Abby sat beside each other one one side and Fiona sat across from you two. Your waitress came over in no time to ask what you wanted to drink. You ordered your usual favorite soda, and Abby looked at you for approval before getting a strawberry daiquiri. She didn't drink often, but every once in a while didn't hurt anyone. You nodded and waited as Fiona got a pink lemonade.

After a few minutes she brought your drinks out and said she'd be back in a few to take your orders. You'd already opened your menu, and were still looking. Fiona seemed to be set on what she'd be getting since she was more focused on helping Hailey draw on her kids menu.

"Anything look good?" You asked Abby, bumping your shoulder into her own lightly.

"Uh I kinda wanted to try this but I definitely couldn't finish it by myself." She pointed out the item on the menu she was speaking about, taking a sip of her drink.

"That's definitely looks good, we could just share it if you want." You offered and she nodded.

"Hailey? What do you want honey?" You asked before reading off her options.

She'd choose the third item you listed and you'd nod, giving her the menu back so she could continue to draw with Fionas help. You brought an arm around Abbys shoulders, leaning into her lightly.

"So, Fiona, you know I have to ask. Do you have a boyfriend?" You asked your niece and she blushed a deep red.

"Uh, actually no." She answered with a giggle.

"Oh? Really." Your voice picked up an octave, her physical response differing drastically from her verbal response.

"Well actually I have a girlfriend.." She smiled as her voice got lower.

"What! No way!" Abby exclaimed, unfortunately a bit too loud.

Hailey had a reaction to this of course, she hated when people were loud. Immediately she burst into tears and started to thrust around in her high chair. You sighed, removing your arm from around Abby and now pulling Hailey from her chair to sit on your lap. You bounced her lightly on your keg as you shushed her, rubbing at her arms soothingly.

"Ah- sorry. I'm sorry." Abby apologized, she just felt terrible.

"Hey, it's fine. She'll calm down in a minute." You reassured, but there was a harshness in your tone anyways because you were just frustrated.

Instead of wasting more time with another sorry, Abby instead asked Fiona all about her girlfriend. She was very excited to tell Abby all about her, and you listened too of course. She sounded very sweet and Fiona was certainly happy.

Haileys cries had stopped by now and she sat peacefully in your lap, sucking at her thumb. Your waitress came back now to take your orders, you looked to Abby and let her order for you two while you'd order for Hailey. Fiona collected your three menus and handed them off with a smile and a thank you.

You picked up your soda to take a sip when a waiter was just making his way past your table. Due to the close proximity of his table to yours, he bumped into your elbow and caused you to spill all over your shirt. And Hailey broke out in tears once again. You sighed and let out a groan of frustration, slamming your glass back down on the table.

Hailey began to thrash around in your arms, which had you looking to Abby with tears brimming your eyes. A look that merely said you were tired and needed some help.

"Here, I've got her. Go ahead and wash up in the bathroom." She took Hailey in her arms, shushing her then making silly faces so she'd giggle instead of cry.

You paid them no attention as you were already on your way to the bathroom. Once you got in there you couldn't help it as your tears spilled over. You tried to wipe them away, but there was a consistent stream. Thankfully it was one of those bathrooms where it was just made for one person, and you wasted no time in locking the door.

A small huff fell past your lips as you brought a wet paper towel to try and rid your shirt of the soda which was probably making it sticky. It was stained of course because that was just your luck. If things couldn't get any worse there was a knock at the door.

"What!" Your voice was angry.

"Hey, it's me. Come on open up." Abby spoke softly.

You sighed as you unlocked the door and let her in. Your tears continued to fall as you stood there embarrassed, the wet paper towel smooshed in your hand at your side. Abby tilted her head with a frown, bringing her hands to your shoulders.

"Baby. It's ok." She tried to reassure.

"But it's really not!" You shouted, you didn't want to yell at her but you were just so overwhelmed, "i-I just wanted to have a nice dinner! And now my shirts ruined, Hailey's already had two meltdowns tonight!" You struggled to speak through your sobs but you managed.

"Y/n, Hailey is fine. Besides can you even call those meltdowns? She just cried a bit that's all, and here you can wear my hoodie." Abby removed her hoodie to reveal a beige t shirt underneath.

You let out a small sigh, tossing the paper towel in the trash then removing your shirt before putting the hoodie on. It was too big, but extremely comfortable. And it smelled just like Abby which relaxed you a bit. Your face was still tear stained and red, even if you stopped crying.

Abby looked down at you, opening her arms and waiting as you leaned into her. You buried your face into her chest, wrapping your arms around her lower back as you let out a sigh of relief against her. She uses one hand to rub up and down your back, the other massaging your scalp. Your eyes fell shut for a moment as you felt calm for once that evening.

Abby let you stand there in her embrace for a few moments before separating from you just enough to meet your gaze. You smiled up at her, the way she brought her hands to either side of your face grounding you. She rubbed her thumbs across your cheek, placing a sweet kiss to your forehead before asking if you were ready to go back to the table. You just gave a simple nod and followed her as you walked back to the table hand in hand.

A feeling of adoration filled you as you saw Fiona playing peekaboo with Hailey back at the table. And Hailey, much to your surprise, was sat in her high chair like an angel. She was giggling at Fionas actions, which had a bubbly feeling forming in your stomach.

The rest of the evening went well, and you all enjoyed a wonderful meal together. Later you'd get back home and say your goodbyes to Fiona. Then you'd work on getting Hailey and yourself ready for bed.

[havethetouch]

Back on my bullshit because now that I have a longer vacation going on I can tackle this again, this time with feeling. Also I had a break in between bc I remembered and forgot to mention that I was out and about for almost a week living in a flat to babysit animals while their owners were out of the country but I had been yearning for the ceiling. After Time got away from me a bit got brainfogged suddenly realized it is September already wtf. If I hadn't liveblogged the ceiling shenanigans I might've misremembered when that started too. Anyway.

Previously on Touch's ceiling shenanigans

And right now we are here:

Ceiling skeleton. The support beams are all askew as fuck and jammed into the the walls on both sides. I have thermal plastering ready for it's call to action as one of the walls with the holes is an outer wall and the cold will crawl through and try to get me without proper insulation. I am also currently busy with removing everything that has been lying about in this room (before it was the storage room for when I freshly moved in so a lot of stuff just.. floating about) because the crossbars do not inspire confidence in me that they will not drop weirdly when I loosen them up lol I also bribed my auntie to take me a few villages over (I do not have a car) to get some more supplies for the removal of the distemper paint and shit to seal of cracks were the ceiling and walls meet. Also... there is a cable duct in the corner right over the space were the oven will go and I figured it might be for the best to pry open the wall to sink it and for that I needed a different kind of quick-drying plaster which was also acquired. And then I thought yeah well, get some of those parquet mini fix thingies.. you know the idk how it is called but basically there are some scratches and dents in the floor in need of some TLC and I know how sanding down parquet and resealing it properly works but I also know how much time and shit that takes and I might at some point say "it is time" but it ain't this year or the next for sure. So mini fixes it is for now. I also have a different endboss now in this entire thing because see... I have a second door in this room to the outside of my driveway. I just have this second entry point to my abode which will be very handy once I work with some of my materials that need a lot of ventilation and shit. But anyway so... Somewhen in the past there was flooding I know this there is plenty of visible evidence of it all over my home that there went water were it was not supposed to go. But nowhere is it more apparent than this door.

There used to be parquet in between (it's a double door) and just look how fucking thick my outside walls are fucks sake and my dad removed that because it looked like one step away from having you meet the underside of the building and filled that all up with concrete but nothing more than that. I think he wanted to seal the doorway up permanently at some point and I am glad he didn't because I adore the second entry point. But yeahhh this is a bit of damage. I misremembered how much bc I had to temp seal this off for a bit because mice kept sneaking through these two doors into the house last winter along with the cold. So it kinda slipped my mind how rotten the wooden frames are and how even the concrete on the sides is all fucked up. Got some work ahead on that one. There is also a massive black spider somewhere in the woodbeams that I only caught a glimpse of before she scuttled in there and at some point we will probably make eye contact when I remove the rotten wood :')

And yeh this is no longer just the ceiling but like I said, am on vacation now so I try to get everything wrapped up soon and that includes this entry door along with the floor. Cross fingers the spider does not jump me she looked like she could beat my ass.

[trashno0dle]

promoting my silly scream role swap au again because i finally updated after several months <3

summary:

Billy Loomis was sixteen- going on seventeen years old when his parents divorced and his mother abandoned him, leaving him mostly alone in a world that couldn't understand him, and feeling broken beyond repair. Sidney Prescott was sixteen years old when she stood before the corpse of her mother's killer. Blood dripping down her front, a red glistening knife clasped firmly in one hand and a plastic mask in the other, with a smile on her lips.

(includes billy/stu, sid/tatum (murder gfs) as well as good ol gale/dewey, my beloveds)

snippet from the newest chapter (7) below

~~~

When noon had passed and the sun was slowly sinking from its peak in the sky, Billy found himself consumed entirely within his thoughts once more. His head felt heavy with the weight of the knowledge that he was currently the target of this masked killer, who could be stalking him right at that very moment, he wasn’t so much scared as he was confused, recalling the phone call he’d had with his attempted murderer the evening prior, they had made it sound as if they knew him in a sense. It was that fact that had him more confused than anything.

‘It’ll be fun Billy, just like old times.’

Just like old times. He’d been scratching his head all night, wondering what that could possibly mean. Of course he found no answers. He wasn’t exactly a detective. Had he not been intimately involved in the case like he happened to be, he wouldn’t think much of it, either the police would catch the murderer or they would kill a few more times, get bored and slip away unnoticed and eventually, become just another topic of Woodsboro gossip as the years passed by. But it couldn’t be that simple, no, of course not.

The killer, whomever they were, had painted a very obvious target on his back. And not just his own, but Stu’s as well, considering they had attempted to frame him and failed. Billy wondered, still, what their goal had been there. If he was correct in assuming the killer in fact was a student like themselves, then they must have known that they were close. Creepy, really, he’d never thought he’d ever have a stalker in his life yet here he was. He wondered if the killer was watching him right now, lurking through the trees in the park, or perhaps from within a car, their eyes never leaving him, constantly vigilant of his every move.

Jesus, get it together. He couldn’t afford to lose himself in total paranoia right now, he needed to be on guard but not so much that he actively lost his mind with the thought of being struck down at any time.

“–again, buddy.”

Billy blinked, snapping himself out of his stupor. Stu was watching him expectantly, a crooked grin pulling at his lips as if amused. Admittedly, Billy hadn’t heard him speak at all.

“What?”

[abandoned-anemoia]

Time of Love

☯ Pairing: Dad!San x Mom!reader ☯ Genre: fluff ☯ Word count: 2.3k ☯ Summary: You and San have an anniversary coming up but will you have time for yourselves when your son wants nothing more than your attention? ☯ Warnings: jokes about making babies, your son gets called a hurricane, San being really soft because that needs a warning in iteself ☯ A/N: Yes, I did add in the Tony Stark scene in Avengers: Endgame... Please Let me know if I need to add any warnings! ☯Disclaimer: None of my work represents any of the idols included in any way. This is merely fictional and all based on my opinion as a joke! I have nothing against any of these idols and love them all dearly.

Pt.2

Please do not copy, translate, or post as your own!

The sun splashes colors of orange and red across the sky and onto your bedroom wall as it begins to sink behind the horizon. Standing at the end of the bed, quietly folding an outfit into a night bag, you hear the door creak open and turn to see San leaning against its frame. He sends you a soft smile, eyes glistening in the remains of sunlight, "Are you excited for our little trip?"

You return the smile, heart swelling at the look of adoration on his face, and nod your head as he walks over to you, wrapping an arm around your waist and planting a kiss on your cheek. Turning your head to face him, he leaves a chaste kiss on your lips before helping you check your list for anything you may have forgotten to put in the overnight bag you are currently packing.

Your seven year wedding anniversary is tomorrow and San is determined to make it special. He told you about your vacation getaway last week but you both had one little problem: your son, Minjae, is a stage five clinger.

In his five years of living, he has never truly been away from you or at least not without the help of his grandparents. He is your world and you adore him, but the chances of this night with San falling through are very likely. There was one person who was free and willing to look after Minjae tonight—Wooyoung.

He agreed to come over and watch your son but Minjae had never been alone with Wooyoung for more than a few hours and that worried you. San seems to notice the worry written on your face, "Minjae is a sweet kid and Wooyoung does very well with kids, I'm sure they will have a great time together."

Just as San finishes his sentence, the doorbell rings and little feet can be heard quickly stomping down the hall. You both let out a short laugh before following those footsteps to the door where a tiny figure is attempting to unlock the front door. San steps next to his son and helps him unlock the door, opening it to a very happy Wooyoung.

"UNCLE WOO!" Minjae's smile reaches his eyes, which turn into crescents just like his father's do. Wooyoung is truly Minjae's favorite uncle and his presence is always welcomed.

"MJ!" As Wooyoung steps through the entrance, Minjae's small frame is launching at him hoping to be caught.

As he successfully catches Minjae's flailing body and holds him close, Wooyoung turns to the both of you with a smirk, "You guys are gonna make another one tonight, right?"

You playfully smack Wooyoung's arm as he lets out something akin to a witches cackle. San follows suit, snickering as your cheeks turn pink. Minjae looks confused but before he can ask, San leads Wooyoung into the living room and distracts Minjae with toys.

Wooyoung is quick to help San make his escape, pretending to attack Minjae with the toy dinosaur in his hand. San quickly disappears from his son's view and guides you back to the bedroom to grab your bag.

Sneaking past the entryway of the living area, you both wave to Wooyoung who is holding Minjae upside down by his ankles as he wiggles and screeches out laughter. He shoots the both of you a smile and goes back to focusing on dangling your son upside down.

San cautiously opens the door and ushers you out before carefully closing it behind the two of you. Rushing to the car, he opens the passenger side door, allowing you to enter the vehicle before closing the door behind you. He makes his way around the car and gets into the driver's side. He sets his hand on your thigh while driving the two of you to the restaurant you had made reservations at, your hand lying on top of his.  

…

Setting your things on the floor, San lies down on the stark white sheets of the queen sized bed, sprawling out in the shape of a starfish. He stares at the ceiling for a moment before raising his head to look at you, standing at the foot of the bed. Your husband sends you a goofy smile before letting his head fall back against the pillows once more. You take off your shoes, crawling over him and laying your body on top of his, your head resting on his chest.

He is quick to wrap his arms around your form, tracing shapes on your back with his finger and pressing his lips to the top of your head, "Do you wanna make another Minjae?"

Caught off guard by the question, you let out a snort, lifting your head to look him in the eyes, "Could we even handle another Minjae?"

San giggles at your question, shaking his head, "No, but I think he's worth it."

Nodding your head in agreement, you lift yourself off of him, getting undressed so you can sleep comfortably. San gazes at you, eyes glazed over with what one can only assume is pure love and admiration. Your eyes catch his, cocking your head to the side, "What?"

"I love you," he pauses, getting up from the bed and making his way over to you, "so much." He softly presses his lips to yours, pulling away slightly, breath fanning across your lips, "And I would love to share that love with another Minjae."

"Oh, so now you want to split your love into thirds?" You tease, wrapping your arms around his middle. San's love for your son is more than anyone could ever explain. You know that San would set the world on fire and watch it burn just for the two of you. And you know that he would use every second of every day loving his family, no matter how many of you there are.

He lets out a puff of air through his nose, shaking his head, "I could split my love into a thousand pieces and I still wouldn't love you any less."

San's words etch themselves into your brain. He means them and there is no denying it. It seems so effortless for him to tell you these things. His words always have the same effect on you—pulling you in like the moon does the tides.

You love him more than Nightingales love to sing. More than flowers love the rain. More than the depths of the deepest ocean. More than rivers run deep and mountains run high. Yet, no matter how much you love him, you can never express your love as well as he does.

Leaning into his body, your chin pressing against his chest, "I love you more than I can ever show you in a lifetime, Choi San."

Looking down at you, hands coming up to rest on the sides of your face, he attaches his lips to yours. It's slow and sweet, pouring all the love you have into one another. Gently pulling away, he guides you to the bed and leaves a kiss on your forehead before changing out of his own clothes.

He sends Wooyoung a quick text to check up on him and Minjae, receives a perfect report, then climbs into the bed and lies next to you. He pulls you close, tucking your head under his chin as he rubs his hand up and down your back in a soothing manner. You let out a content sigh, pressing a light kiss to his bare chest and falling asleep.

…

You wake up the next morning to an empty bed. Assuming San is in the bathroom, you lie under the sheets and bask in the morning sunlight shining through the thin white curtains that are covering the window.

Hearing a knock at the door, you rise from the bed, check your clothes to make sure you're decent, and make your way to the door. Looking through the peephole, you can see the grinning face of your loving husband, body clad in a gray sweatshirt and black sweatpants. You open the door, surprised by the fact that he had left the room, and let him inside.

"Good morning, angel." He beams at you, hands tucked securely behind his back.

"What are you hiding?" You attempt to look around him, curious as to what he had behind his back, but he successfully blocks your view.

He pouts his lips, "Can I have a kiss first?"

A smile forms on your lips before you softly press them against his. One is his hands comes out from behind his back to rest on your hip and tug you closer.

Pulling away from you, he moves his other hand in front of you. He's holding a beautiful arrangement of vibrant purple Calla Lilies, soft pink Roses, and vivid greenery, "Happy anniversary, darling."

Tears spring to your eyes as you take the flowers into your hands and wrap your arms around him. The gesture was simple but he knows it got the message across by the way you crash your lips onto his after pulling away from the hug. San walks you backwards, pulling away once you reach the edge of the bed.

You sit on the bed, San taking the flowers and setting them on the dark brown table pushed against the wall. Looking up at him, "What's the plan for today?"

"Well, I was thinking that you could put these two lips," he presses his finger to your mouth, "to these two lips," he moves his finger from your mouth to touch his own, "because I got you these tulips." He points to the flowers that lay on the desk.

"Sannie, my sweet sweet boy. The light of my life. My sun, moon, and stars. Those are not tulips, my love, they are Lilies and roses." You didn't let the pickup line slide, resulting in a very pouty San.

"I was hoping you would overlook that fact and just kiss me." He huffs, eyebrows furrowed and lips pursed.

Giggling at his antics, you stand up, moving to hold his face between your hands. You squish his cheeks together and peck his lips, "Better?"

"Better." He mimics, voice more assuring than your own.

…

The day was spent walking the streets hand-in-hand, having no particular destination. You both visited multiple shops and tried new foods before ultimately heading home.

San walks up to the door with you following closely behind, softly rapping his knuckles against the wood before entering the house. It was eerily silent, concerningly so. You call out to Wooyoung and Minjae but receive no answer. Starting to worry, you walk farther into the house.

Just when you walk past the entrance to the living room, a figure catches your eye. You and San stand in shock at the sight before you. Wooyoung is sitting on the floor, propped up against the couch, hair disheveled and clothes wrinkled. His hands are colored by what was presumably black ink and he is missing a sock. Surrounding him are scattered Legos and an assortment of toys strewn across the room. Curled up on his lap, lies a peacefully slumbering Minjae.

"Woo… are you okay?" You were a bit taken aback by the man's appearance and even the appearance of your living area.

Wooyoung sighs in relief, "I don't think I've ever been happier to see you two. I've experienced hurricane MJ and the damages are extensive… and costly."

San chuckles at his friend's disheveled state and makes his way over to where he sits. Gently lifting Minjae off of Wooyoung's lap, he presses a tender kiss to his son's head as the boy stirs, opening his eyes slightly before they spring open.

"Hey, Jae. Did you have a good nap, buddy?" Your husband coos at your son, forever willing to baby him.

Minjae nods, turning his head, beaming when he sees you, "Hi, mommy!"

"Hi, Minnie! Did you have a good time with Uncle Woo?" You smile at your son, softly brushing his hair out of his face as he nods again and begins to tell you all of the things he had done.

It didn't take long for him to wear out again. Once he is finished telling you about his day, he is laying his head back down on San's shoulder and wrapping his little arms around his neck. San, holding Minjae tightly in his arms, carries him to his room to put him to bed.

Kneeling on the floor and tucking Minjae under the soft blue sheets, that he had picked out himself, San sweeps Minjae's hair away from his forehead to place a kiss to it, "Love you tons."

Minjae's eyelids are slowly drooping and his voice is small as he responds to his father, "I love you 3000."

San stands from his kneeling position next to the bed, turning the lights off to leave the room, caught off guard by the statement, "3000? That's crazy."

Walking back into the room, San cocks his head to the side, smiling wide, "Not that it's a competition, but he loves me 3000."

"Oh, does he now?" You snort, knowing how happy the statement made San from how his smile reaches his eyes.

"You were somewhere in the low six to nine hundred range." He teases, coming to stand next to you as he wraps an arm around your shoulders.

Wooyoung looks at you, eyes pleading as his voice shakes, completely ignoring your playful squabble with San, "Y-you guys didn't make another, d-did you?"

You didn't think you would ever laugh as hard as you did when those words left Wooyoung's mouth. You are bent over, hands clamped onto your knees, wheezing as San doubles over in laughter at his friends' panicked look and wavering voice.

[wandafiction]

Billy's Discovery - Just Us Chapter 33

Warnings: None

Word Count: 3243

Series List | Chapter 32 | Chapter 34

================================

Wanda is currently sitting on my lap,

both of us wrapped in one of Natasha's blankets as we sit in front of the fire that we started not too long ago. Because it's a Friday night and the boys don't have school tomorrow we are letting them stay up a bit later as they are watching a film down in their bedroom for tonight. Wanda is sitting sideways, her legs hanging off of my right one, her head in the crook of my neck and her hands are playing with my rings as I rest them in her lap: with one arm around her back to make sure she is secure. 

I get random kisses on my neck and jaw which make me smile at the woman and melt into her touch more. We are currently listening to a story about how Natasha and her sister went to Budapest, pronounced budapesht from what Natasha tells us, and how it was a complete shit show. Something about their Airbnb being nothing like the pictures and people on bikes chasing cars.

"If you ask me you sound like Russian spies on the run." I interrupt the story telling when Natasha mentions bullet holes in the wall of the Airbnb. 

"What is it with you and thinking I'm a Russian spy?" Natasha takes a sip of her drink slouching back in her chair. 

"I don't know. I mean everyone from Russia are Russian spies or sleeper agents."

"Not all of us, no." She smirks and I laugh.

"Believable." I peck Wanda on the forehead as I lean forward to take a few sips of my beer before returning to my original position.

Wanda grabs my hand that's in her lap and moves it slightly, when I scrunch my eyebrows in question at her she simply lifts the hand to her head. I get the message and weave my hands through her hair, before I start to scratch it. I feel her sigh into my neck and completely relax against my body, sinking further into me and the blanket. Her eyes flutter at the feeling, continuing to listen to the campfire stories people are telling. 

"Y/n why don't you tell us a story." I sit up a little at Yelena's request so I can look at everyone as I tell the story, allowing Wanda to remain in her position.

"What do you want to know about?" I continue to scratch at Wanda's head as I feel her head shift a little so she can listen to my story better. 

"What's the best place in the world you have visited?" Sharon asks as she too wraps herself in a blanket. Even though the fire is creating enough heat to keep us warm the blankets are an added comfort.

"That is easy, well there are two places." I feel Wanda smirk against my neck already knowing one. "So you have Sokovia."

 "You've been to Sokovia?" Natasha sits up more in her seat, becoming slightly more interested at the mention of the country.

"Yeah, many times." 

"Y/n says she goes every few months. She has a promise to keep. How many years has it been since it started baby?" Wanda leaves yet another kiss under my jaw.

"4 years."

"So you started going when you were 18?" 

"Technically since I was 17, I turned 18 the first time I was over there. It would have been 2017." 

"Wow I forget how young you are sometimes." Sharon laughs out as she finishes off her glass of wine pouring herself another one quickly. 

"Are you saying I look old?" I joke.

"Oh, yeah, you do!" Sharon jokes back.

"I mean you're not the first person to think I'm older than I am, I bounce my leg which in turn bounces Wanda so they know I'm on about her.

"Yes but I've already said, the suit, the hair, the make-up and the fact you were drinking fucking whisky made you look so sophisticated and in my mind that made you seem older." She defends herself. 

"I mean she isn't wrong. I thought you were older when I saw you sitting at the bar too, I mean you don't see many 22 year olds drinking alone at a bar." Natasha comes to Wanda's defence. 

"But there I was."

"But there you were. And then I caught you staring at Wanda." 

"She wasn't staring." Wanda sits up more and her statement makes me laugh a little.

"Sorry?"

"I said she wasn't staring, she was admiring. Staring is something that creepy guys do." Wanda pushes her body against mine more, pulling the blanket tighter to us as well.

"I'm pretty sure it was staring." Natasha gives me a pointed look and I just smirk.

"Nope it wasn't. Y/n made clear she was admiring me." 

"Okay so she was admiring you by staring at you." Wanda chuckles into my neck as I place a kiss on her forehead laughing out as well.

"Anyway back to my campfire story." I get us back on track, as we have completely derailed from our previous conversation.

"Right so you have Sokovia. Then what's the other one?" Yelena asks, allowing me to continue where I left off.

"Wakanda."

"Wakanda?" Both Natasha and Yelena look at me with furrowed brows while I feel Wanda scrunch her eyebrows together as they all seem confused.

"Isn't that the place in Africa where they mine vibranium and that? King T'challa rules the kingdom there now, right?" Sharon asks, intrigued.

"Yup, that's correct. Have you been?"

"No I haven't but Shield works closely with them for stuff."

"What stuff?" I playfully wiggle my eyebrows so she knows I'm not 100% serious.

"Classified." She says with a straight face.

"Or do you just not want to spill your secrets in front of the spies." 

"We are not spies." Natasha grumbles bored of the joke already.

"That's what a spy would say." Sharon retorts and I lean over a little bit, making sure Wanda stays in my lap, as we high five.

"I'm sorry, I know you are not spies. I just mean it would be pretty cool if you were." 

"Why don't you draw them?" Wanda's voice vibrates against my neck causing a few goosebumps.

"Draw us? What do you mean draw us?" Yelena asks as she and Natasha look between me and Wanda.

"I draw comic book style super heroes, well I've only got a few so far and some of them are just names that me and Carl came up with. I need to base my drawings off of people to be able to bring them to life." 

"She uses Tony Stark to draw a man named Robert Downey who's superhero alias is Iron Man." Wanda feeds them some more information.

"I mean I could always use more characters and evil Russian Spies turned good would make a good story line." I fidget in excitement until Wanda starts rubbing her thumb against my hand and whining at the fact I stopped the head rubs, which I didn't realise, so continue as she relaxes against me once again.

"What would my character name be?" Natasha asks first.

"I don't really choose the names really. That's Carl's job."

"Who's Carl?" Yelena asks as more things are revealed.

"A boy back in Sokovia." Wanda answers for me, noting the tiny change from relaxed to uncomfortable in the way I squeeze our hands together. 

The women seem to get the message as they drop the subject moving on to their own conversations as they continue to drink their wine, well beer for Yelena. Wanda shifts upwards a bit bringing her face closer to my ear.

"Sorry about them dorogoy, they can be so unaware sometimes." 

"It's okay princess, just didn't know how much you have told them about anything." I turn to look down at her as she gives me an acknowledging hum.

"I haven't said anything, not that I know much anyway…"

"I promise I will tell you one day, soon hopefully."

"I know I didn't mean it like that, I just meant I can't tell them something that I don't know about truly myself. And I won't share everything with them, as that's not fair on you." She goes to kiss the underside of my jaw but I turn my head so we lock lips, but only for a few seconds as we hear fake gagging come from the other women at the table making me and Wanda laugh into each other's mouths. 

Wanda buries her head back into my neck where I feel her yawn against it. I brush my hand through her hair, cupping her cheek to turn her face to look up at me. Her tired eyes meet mine, another yawn leaves her mouth bringing her hand in front of her mouth to yawn into instead of my face. 

"Time for bed princess?" She nods slowly against my neck. "Okay, it's been a lovely evening and an amazing day but this one is tired so we are going to head to bed."

I pick Wanda up bridal style as she snuggles her head into my chest, wrapping her arms around my neck as she says a small goodnight to everyone who replies in the same tone. Just as I make it to the door Yelena is next to me opening it, I give her a small thank you as she closes it behind us. I quietly make my way upstairs, as Wanda's eyes start to shut on me and I can see how she is struggling to stay awake.

"It's okay princess you go to sleep. Is it okay if I get you changed and put the boys to bed for you?" I feel her nod against my head a small please and thank you coming from her. "No problem."

I use my hand that's under Wanda's legs to push the handle of the door down, pushing it open with my foot before kicking it gently closed behind me. I place Wanda down on the end of the bed, as she struggles to stay sitting up rubbing the sleep from her eyes to try and stay awake. I go to her bag, picking out her sleep shorts and the oversized t-shirt in there before making my way back in front of her. I place the clothes next to her on the bed and crouch down so I can untie her shoes, slipping them off easily and putting them on the floor at the end of the bed. I unbutton her pants, pulling them down her legs and off her feet, folding them up and placing them on her shoes. I pick up the sleep shorts and shimmy them up her legs until they get to her bum, lifting her body with one arm so she isn't in contact with the bed I am able to pull the sleep shorts up properly with the other arm.

I place her back in the bed and unbutton the shirt she had changed into, slipping it off her arms before unclipping her bra. I fold her shirt up, putting it on top of her pants on the floor and grab the oversized t-shirt. 

"Up." She lifts her arms in the air lazily making it that little bit easier for me to put it on her. "There. All done. Why don't you clean your teeth while I go downstairs and sort the boys out."

 She simply nods so I give her a quick peck before moving out of the room and down to where the boys are: in the basement bedroom situation that's going on. A fond smile grows on my face at the sight of the boys snuggled together on one bed, Nathaniel snoring lightly in between the twins' bodies as they hold him in their arms as Tommy seems to be asleep too. My eyes move to Billy who is smiling up at me as the light from the TV illuminates the room.

"Hey Y/n."

"Hey Billy. I just came down to say it's time for you guys to go to sleep, but the other two seem to have beaten me to it." I let out a quiet laugh as Billy laughs with me.

"Yeah they have been asleep for a while, but I wanted to finish the movie."

"What are you watching?" I move into the room more to see Cars 2 on and I smile wider when I look back at Billy. "You put his favourite movie on?" 

"Yeah, me and Tommy watched ours so it's only fair he gets to watch his." Urgh these boys are too good!

"Thank you for today Billy, I would thank your brother also but…" Tommy shifts in his sleep, mine and Billy's eyes darting towards him before he settles back down and we continue.

"It's no problem Y/n I had lots of fun, and I know Tommy did too. It was really nice to play with him, he is like a little brother to us already." Ah, my heart, this is too precious. "Where's mama?" 

"She is in bed. She was super tired so I said I would come down and make sure you guys got off to bed." 

"Okay fair enough." I turn to leave but Billy's voice stops me. "Y/n."

"Yes Billy?"

"Are you and my mama dating?" I freeze on the spot.

"What would make you say that Billy?" What else can I say?

"Just you're a new friend, one we haven't met before today, but mama seems a lot happier when you are around. Also I may or may not have seen you kiss out by the fire." I knew me and Wanda were being all snuggly outside but we didn't think the boys would come and disturb us and Wanda wanted to cuddle so who was I to deny her?

"If I said yes, would it be a bad thing? Hypothetically that is." He is smart enough to know what I'm asking for.

"No. I like you and I love to see mama really happy. You make her really happy. I don't even think papa made her this happy. So thank you for making her smile again Y/n." 

"Oh, I don't know. Uh, thank you Billy. I promise to make her happy for as long as I can. Also she didn't want to tell you today because she didn't know how you would react and it's all still new, not because she wanted to lie to you about it."

"I know. But you can tell her that we like you, and want to see more of you." 

"I will Billy, now try and get some sleep. If you need your mom or if Nathaniel needs me we are in the guest room." I make my way to the door, turning around one last time. "Goodnight Billy."

"Goodnight Y/n." I close the door behind me and make my way up to the guest bedroom.

Upon entering the room, Wanda rolls onto her back lifting her arms in the air making grabby hands at me. I gently laugh and roll my eyes, but walk to the bed to join her under the covers. Once I'm settled in the bed Wanda pulls half her body on top of me, resting her head on my chest with one arm gently resting next to her head while the other wraps around my torso. One of her legs tangles with mine while the other remains on the bed. Her hand on my chest draws random patterns, turning her head slightly to look at me through tired eyes.

"How did the boys go down?" Her voice croaks adorably as she whispers into the quiet room.

"Perfectly. Tommy and Nathaniel were already asleep, while Billy finished watching the movie. All three of them were snuggled together. It was really cute and adorable."

"I wish I could have seen it now." 

"You will get to see it again. Billy called Nathaniel a younger brother which is really sweet so I can only assume they want to see him again"

"Billy is so cute."

"He is. But he is also clever too."

"What do you mean?"

"Well he saw us outside during the campfire. More specifically he saw us kissing and proceeded to ask me if we were dating." I don't feel Wanda tense or stop her hand from drawing on my chest which is a good sign.

"What did you say?"

"I said in a hypothetical situation what would he say if we were." Wanda moves so her chin is resting on my sternum giving me her full attention as her hand stops drawing, obviously a little nervous of what I'm going to say.

"What did he say about us hypothetically dating?" 

"He said that it is nice to see you smile like this again and that he can see I make you happy. He also said to tell you that they like me and want to see more of me." I see Wanda's eyes turn slightly glassy, even the small things like this are so important to her and it must mean everything to have her boy's approval.

"You're right. Billy is smart, too smart for his own good sometimes."

"Are you princess?" She hums not understanding. "Are you happy?"

"Extremely happy. So happy that words cannot convey how happy I am." Her smile is so big, her nose scrunches and her eyes almost close as she looks up at me. "Are you Y/n? Are you happy?"

"I'm the happiest I've been in a very long time." Wanda leans up to kiss me slowly and I kiss back just the same. Once our lips finish dancing together she pulls away to smile at me.

"Goodnight dorogoy."

"Goodnight princess." I settle into the bed more once Wanda is back comfortably on my chest, as I listen to her breathing even out as she falls asleep. I smile down at her as I think about what Billy said, and how he noticed that she is happier now and it allows me to think about our future. My thoughts soon turn into dreams as sleep overcomes me.

When I wake up, I feel an extra presence next to me as they snuggle into my neck a little, while Wanda still sleeps comfortably on my chest. I look down to see Nathaniel's tiny body next to me, his small arm laying across my chest, his other one trapped between his body and the bed. I lift my head up more to see Wanda has shuffled a little in her sleep, her body now more on top of mine than when we fell asleep. Her arm that was wrapped around my torso is also wrapped around Nathaniel and I smile at the sight. I hear something else shuffle in the bed, but Wanda and Nathaniel don't move. I turn my head back towards Nathaniel lifting the cover slightly and see Billy next to him with a protective arm around him, his hand holding Wandas.  As I look back to Wanda I notice the extra body next to her as well. Tommy is snuggled up to Wanda as my other arm is wrapped underneath Wanda and curled under him too, I can feel his hand in mine as he rests his head against them. 

I want to make up to this, this family, every morning.

================================

[parapsychologicalvulpes]

Please Help!!

i really hesitate to make this post bc it's the end of the year and everyone is strapped for money but the past several months have just been slowly getting more and more overwhelming for the things we need to fix.

We've been driving around in a car with the back windows we can't even roll up (one is held up by duct tape and the other is now slipped off the track that we can't even pull it up at this point) and trying to save up money to fix the windows, and a small oil leak.

Two months ago we had to turn off the water to the kitchen sink bc underneath is rusted through and it needs replaced. We're doing dishes in the bathtub with a hair catcher because we can't use the dishwasher.

A few days ago, one of the back tires went flat because the wall has rotted and we have no spare. I need to go to work, but bc of my disability, I have a job that only has me work maybe twice a month. I get *maybe* 200$ a month and I don't currently have government assistance. It's been impossible for us to save anything to fix anything and it keeps snowballing. At this point we are worried how to even get food.

I'm stressed. My wife is stressed. If anyone could spare even a couple dollars so we can replace the back two tires on the car so I could go to work, I would be eternally grateful.

Reblogs are deeply appreciated.

paypal.me/kabegami

[the-hinky-panda]

The Drowning Kind : Part 1

Title: The Drowning Kind

Pairing: Captain Sean Renard x OFC (written as a reader)

Rating: Explicit

Summary: You heard of the Portland Grimm and leave your fundamentalist group of naiads in Vancouver. You just wanted a safe fresh start; you didn't expect to fall in love with a royal hybrid police captain.

“Lots of men want to stay in a boat because they're afraid of drowning. But a mermaid knows: life is just not worth living if you're not ready to drown a few times.”

― C. JoyBell C.

Captain Sean Reynard has many secrets. Some are larger than others. This one is fairly small, relatively speaking. 

He owns a kayak. 

It’s dusty, and hasn't been used in years. He had bought it on a whim, trying to impress a woman long forgotten now, and now he’s thankful for that impulsive purchase. It’s almost eleven at night when he unlatches it from the roof rack of his car and slips the front of it into the water. The moon is full tonight, turning the river silver and the trees on the river bank more gray than black. He’s grabbing the paddle when he hears your footsteps on the soft riverbank. 

“I wasn’t sure if you were making it out tonight,” you say. “Heard it was a rough day in the office.” 

“Rough day in the office means meeting up with you will be a certainty.” 

Your eyes glint in the bright moonlight as you smile at his comment. He still is getting used to having someone genuinely pleased to have him in their presence, no expectations or favors. You’re already dressed in your swimsuit, bare feet, toes curling into the soft silt as the river laps around your ankles. He knows you’ve spent most of the hot summer day in the river, that you know the currents, branches, and estuaries as well as he knows all the roads and neighborhoods in Portland. The perks of being a naiad and a police captain.

He moves towards you, leaning down to kiss you but you retreat a couple steps further into the river with a coy smile. “You’re going to have to catch me first.” 

“Well that hardly seems fair.” 

“I’ll go easy on you,” you give him a wink before turning and disappearing under the silver water. 

He watches the ripples of your movement as you do your laps under the surface and wait for him to launch the kayak. By the time he’s made it to the halfway point in the river, he can see the electric blue glow of your gills as you circle around the kayak. He pulls his paddle out of the water and rests it across his lap. He waits for a few moments, enjoying the silence, letting his eyes adjust to the night sky as more stars start to appear in his vision. He needs this after the frustrations today; he needs the quiet, the physical effort…you. 

Your electric blue eyes are peering at him from the pointed bow of the kayak. You sink below the surface again but appear at the side of the kayak, effortlessly pulling yourself up and sitting, perfectly balanced, in front of him with minimal shifting of the boat. You stay in your naiad form to help with your balancing, air whistling and chirping quietly from the gills along your neck. 

“Do you want to talk about your day?” 

He shakes his head. “No. I’d rather hear about your day.” 

“All my swimming and playing with my fishy friends?” 

“Says the woman who got kicked out of the all you can eat sushi bar last week?” 

“I almost got kicked out! Get your facts straight, Captain.” 

“My apologies.”  He lays a hand over yours and you instinctively pull it away but he catches it, slipping his fingers through yours like a hook and halting your retreat. He can feel the scars of the cutting, the lack of webbing between your fingers. He knows if he looks at your feet, he’ll find the same disfigurement there too. He changes into his hybrid form and waits for your eyes to meet his. “You’re not the only one with marks of shame.” 

You squeeze his hand back and give him a small smile. This is usually when you start listing the differences between them: he had zero control over his heritage, you had made the conscious decision to go against eons of tradition. His mother had tried to protect him as best she could. Your husband had stood by and watched you be cut by the village elders so they wouldn’t do the same to him. He has tried to convince you, shame is shame, details be damned. One day, he hopes you’ll believe him that when he sees you, all he can see is strength, resilience, and bravery.  

He sees everything he wants to be and that’s a much bigger secret than the kayak. 

[blackgirlwhowrites2k23]

Summary: “Fair Date! A surprise invitation to go on a fair date with soccer player Rafael Leao. The fair has always been a delight, filled with laughter, delicious treats, and thrilling rides. Leao is able to spend his break playing games, taking cute pictures, and eating things he never really eats. Amidst playful teasing from the team, their connection grows stronger, culminating in a sweet moment under the twinkling stars.”

A/N: Let’s pretend I’ve been active this whole time! Anyways, here's a Rafael imagine because he’s so precious. In animes/manhwas there’s always a carnival/fair episode so here’s that with Rafael :). I also think I’m going to play around with third person writing more.

Immediately as she steps out of the car and makes way to the front where the pillars that hold the entrance sign stands, she’s brought back to many years past. The neon lights that have been flickering happily since she was a kid are still there. They seem to have faded a bit as time has taken its toll on them. They still flicker as if any moment they might give out, yet they never do.

Her gaze flickers all across the entrance of the lot taking in the absurdity of it all. Just two days ago she had passed by and all that was here was years old cracked asphalt that stretched for a few miles and old NewPort packages discarded like the rest of the lot. Now, not even a full three whole days later and there’s a whole other world built in its wake; that’s the thing about pop up county fairs, they’re always done in some random plot of land. Yet, here they are standing in front of Wonder World, the place of wonder. She cringes at the lack of creativity and how the letters seem haphazardly stuck up there, probably by some miserable teen working part time. She shakes her head and laughs it off, because it definitely fits the whole vibe of the place: mildly concerning yet comforting nonetheless —it’s probably the nostalgia clouding her judgment. Or, as Rafael would put it, the neon sinking into her brain.

She really couldn't believe her luck. It was truly a blessing that her college break, and her boyfriend's downtime would coincide perfectly with the time that the Fair she’s been visiting since she was a child would be back in town. She had been planning on dragging Rafael over here ever since he nonchalantly mentioned that he’d never been to a pop up Fair because one, that sounds super dangerous and two, he wasn’t sure if there had been any when he was growing up since most of his downtime was spent doing un-life threatening things.

As she arrived at the fairgrounds, her heart pounded with excitement. The sights and sounds were a delightful cacophony: laughter from children, the nostalgic jingle of carnival music, and the clinking of colorful lights illuminating the night sky. The aroma of cotton candy and popcorn wafted through the air, and the promise of fun filled every corner of the fair.

Rafael Leao greeted her with a smile that did not reach his eyes that immediately caused her to let out a snicker.

“Okay, you need to chill,” she had to put a hand to cover up her mouth in a failed attempt to stop herself from laughing at his expense.

“I’m chill. Who says I’m not chill. Super chill over here,” she casts him a sidelong glance as if to say yeah right and almost starts to laugh again until she notices the worry etched in his forehead.

Her hand immediately finds him and she sends him a warm smile, in the current lighting and atmosphere it’s hard for him to stay worried any longer from just how much pure excitement is radiating off of her.

“Are we going to go in or are you going to stare at me as we stand at the entrance,” he playfully rolls his eyes as he points with this thumb towards the rest of the Fair.

“Okayy! I wasn’t the one pissing my pants about a county Fair.”

“I was not pissing my pants.”

As the night progressed, they embarked on a whirlwind adventure, going from one ride to another. The roller coasters brought screams of joy, and high pitched screams of terror, which she was almost 99% sure came from her man who had a death grip on her hand. Each time they would get off and head over to the photos of the ride, they always consisted of her looking like she was having the time of her life and him holding on for dear life. In the end, he did end up wanting to ride them more than once.

The Ferris wheel offered breathtaking views of the twinkling lights below. The higher they went the more the outside world slipped away.

As the Ferris wheel gracefully ascended, her and Rafael found themselves in a cozy, swaying carriage, suspended high above the fairgrounds. The warm glow of the neon lights painted the sky with hues of green, blue and pink, creating a romantic ambiance that perfectly complemented the moment.

She couldn't help but giggle as she noticed the hint of nervousness in Rafael's eyes. "Are you scared, Mr. Soccer Star?" she playfully teased, nudging him with her elbow.

Rafael chuckled sheepishly, trying to hide his apprehension. "Maybe just a little," he admitted, glancing at the breathtaking view below. "But I must admit, it's not as bad as I thought it would be."

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" She said, her eyes sparkling with wonder as she looked out at the fair from their elevated vantage point. "I'm glad you're enjoying it, even if you were totally pissing yourself at first." She couldn’t help it, she had to tease him just a little, which earned her a playful nudge and wonderful smile.

As the Ferris wheel continued its gentle rotation, their conversation shifted to a different topic. "Can you believe it's been two years already?" Rafael said, his voice tinged with amazement. "Time has flown by so quickly."

She smiled, a hint of nostalgia in her voice. "I know, it feels like we met just yesterday. But at the same time, it feels like I've known you forever," He was every bit as charming as she imagined. The rest of the AC Milan team had teased them playful about they’re outing so the groupchat would definitely be spammed with pictures of the night later, on Rafael’s behalf.

Rafael took her hand in his, his touch warm and comforting. "You've brought so much joy into my life," he said sincerely. "I never expected to find someone like you, someone who understands me and supports me unconditionally."

"And you've done the same for me," she replied, her heart swelling with love. "You make me feel special every day, and I'm grateful for every moment we've shared."

As the Ferris wheel reached its peak, the two gazed into each other's eyes, feeling the depth of their connection. Without a word, they leaned in, their lips meeting in a tender and loving kiss. The world around them seemed to fade away, leaving only the two of them, wrapped in each other's embrace.

In that fleeting moment suspended in time, they knew that this fair date was not just a celebration of their love but a promise of many more years filled with laughter, love, and endless adventures together.

But of course, the night wasn’t over. She had so badly wanted to play her hand at the fair games that she would never seem to win, so they weren’t leaving without winning a few prizes first.

The fair games beckoned them with their colorful displays, and Leao eagerly challenged her to try her luck at knocking down the stacked cans with a softball. With a determined grin, she took the ball in her hand and threw it with precision. Cheers erupted from passersby as the cans came crashing down, and she won Leao a giant stuffed dragon. He had tried after her but he could never seem to hit the mark.

“Not everyone can be a baseball star, babe,” she sends a wink over his way which has him clapping his hands and holding his stomach from how much he’s laughing.

“Oh, so you’re going pro now, huh?” He calms down enough to wipe a tear from his right eye.

“Most definitely. You want me to sign that plushie for you or something?” She brings out a Sharpie from her purse in a faux attempt to sign the bear.

He has to hold onto the game booth to hold himself from how much he’s laughing.

As they strolled through the bustling stalls, she couldn't help but marvel at the variety of delicious treats. She savored the sweetness of caramel apples, the salty goodness of freshly made pretzels, and the indulgence of churros dusted with cinnamon sugar. All of which Rafael had to try first, you know, to make sure they’re safe for the Baseball Star to eat or whatever.

At one point, they stumbled upon a humble photo booth, and they eagerly piled inside. Laughter filled the small space as they posed for silly snapshots, capturing memories they would cherish forever. She felt her heart swell with happiness, and she knew this was a day she would never forget.

As they were about to leave they separated for a moment as she decided she would have to use the restroom before they make the long ride back home. Rafael immediately ran to try his hand at a ring toss game they had passed by, aiming for a shiny prize for his girl. After a few attempts, he managed to land a ring on a bottle, and she happily received a beautiful necklace as a token of their delightful day together.

As the fair drew to a close, the moon stood proudly in the sky as if it were watching the day’s events and filling the sky with a soft luminescent glow. They found themselves sitting side by side on a quiet bench, watching the sky in comfortable silence. He took her hand in his, and she smiled, feeling a sense of serenity in his presence.

In that magical moment, under the fading twilight, Rafael Leao leaned in and whispered, "You've made this day truly unforgettable." Her heart fluttered as she replied, "You're lucky I was able to free up because of my busy schedule. This was a cute little date or whatever."

“Yeah, the neon is definitely sinking into your brain. It’s making you delusional, babe,” she feigned offense for a moment before she sighs dramatically and looks away.

“Boy, you know you love me!” She’s definitely not fighting back a smile.

He softly grabs her chin and turns her to look up at him as they sit on the bench and the world fades away for the final time that day.

“Yeah, I really do.”

As the stars began to twinkle above them, she knew she had found something extraordinary in this unexpected fairytale romance. The night may have ended, but their love story was just beginning.

[catboydreamer]

summary; zhongli tries to send you away ft. xiao. this is essentially how it goes. 

you and zhongli have been lovers for a long while now. you know some of his past, of the time since he has ascended forever to live as a mortal. unfortunately, he cannot simply get rid of immortality, so he’s lived through and through. 

it's been more than a few centuries and some old enemies have come to realize who he is now. and more so, you. 

of course, even when he fell for you, he never wanted to indulge in those feelings. it's not something he deserves, and you don't deserve this either. 

there’s something darker brewing under the skin of the earth and so, he tries to cast you away. 

amazingly enough, xiao and zhongli are still very close. as are you and xiao. xiao is a close friend that you’ve had the honor to befriend. he’s not easy, that’s for sure. 

it's easy, xiao collects you in the late afternoon; he doesn’t say anything of his plan at first. he just smiles sadly and leads you to his car. it's comforting at first even if something seems off.

xiao has a difficulty keeping secrets from you, even if it /is/ from zhongli. he just can’t. so, he tells you. 

the sky was painted hues of red and orange when xiao tells you quietly, “zhongli has asked me to take you away from here. danger is lingering and closing in. he does not want to risk losing you. that is the truth.” 

you’re out of breath at those words. both of you had stopped in your tracks. the world seems to wait for you. 

and the wind is kicked at you with that quiet tug and you’re running. you barely feel the ground beneath your feet, and you know that zhongli is far out from your current destination, but you cannot help yourself. the adrenaline rushes to you before it's too late to stop it. 

you have to stop zhongli. immediately. if any of those sleepy talks that half feeling like a warm dream were anything to go by, he’s going to leave you behind in this world. he will sacrifice himself in a grave moment if he has to. and he’s created it. zhongli was not a stupid man but in this moment, you curse him excessively. 

somehow as you’re wrapped up in all these feelings of panic, you’ve reached zhongli. maybe faster than you anticipated as you bounce off a body and caught by delicate fingers worn by years of work grasp your arm and pull you up. you had almost fallen. and before you know it, you are cradled against this person’s chest but somehow you know in the way they breathe in; zhongli. 

tears leak out. this entire time you had gone without it but no longer, it's too easy now. now that he is here again. you let the moment sink in as you grip onto him. you can't see and can't tell if you had wrapped your arms around him or if you just gripped onto his suit but... your hands shake, and he pulls away. he wraps his hands over yours and offer a smile. 

“hello, darling. aren’t you meant to be going?”

a pout reaches your lips, “no. i’m not going anywhere. i can’t. no, i won't leave. zhongli, you can’t do this.”

he sighs out, resting his forehead against yours. “I’m trying to keep you safe, my love.” 

“casting me aside doesn’t keep me safe. it keeps me scared. regardless, we’ve talked about this before. i’m willing to love you but you have to let me in. i’ll be here. please, let me. please, i don’t wanna go again. “ 

at this point, you’re just begging. not wanting to be left heartbroken over and over again. he’s the best person you’ve ever met, and you hate to let him go. never, ever. please. your body is shaking, and you squeeze your eyes shut as sobs are ripped from your body. 

zhongli lets out a softening sigh as he presses a soft kiss to your forehead and holds his hands up to your jawline. fragile and precious to him. the words escape him before he can stop them, “okay. okay. come on, let us rest for now. you’ve had a difficult day.”

he leads you with soft hands to his own home. not yours, like he’s done before. he somehow knows. deep inside at least. and he lays awake for hours letting you rest against his chest. you’re still here and it makes him shake.

[alexanderwales]

The Current WIP List

Inspired by this post by @a-memory-a-distant-echo, this is a list of ongoing works-in-progress, where "in progress" I will define as "I have added at least one sentence in the last year as an indicator of actual mental load being used". This does not include worldbuilding or planning documents, which spring up like weeds. I am also including the ones that I get paid for via Patreon or publication deals or whatever.

Thresholder is my currently ongoing web serial, publishing two chapters a week (in theory ...). It's about a guy who travels between worlds and fights other people who travel between worlds, with each world being a relatively contained book. Currently about 750K words.

Doomsday Pivot! is, in theory, the follow-up to Thresholder, about a start-up that has to make a sudden change in plans when the end of the world gives everyone a character class. First book is rough draft complete but needs some responses to developmental editing, sitting at 104K words. (You can read a noncanonical first chapter here, which I had previously made public on my discord.)

Millennial Scarlet is a webcomic I write about a gig-economy demon hunter. Writing comics is awesome, mostly because I get to see my words come to life. In word count ... I'm not sure right now, but probably not all that much. In the middle of writing the fourth issue right now.

Glimwarden was a web serial that I abandoned, a black mark on my record. I intend to go back to it at some point, because it was my wife's favorite. You can read it up to the point where it was abandoned here. There are currently ~3 unreleased chapters, but most of the effort put into it has been rewriting it and bringing it up to snuff, as well as fixing some problems with it. Will get a relaunch at some point, probably, when I'm ready to commit to that. No idea on the word count.

Untitled Dance Magic story is probably a short story, currently ~5K words. It's based around a magic system where people do ballroom dance to create architecture, and is a somewhat traditional romance and/or coming of age story. I started writing it on a whim after a conversation with @etirabys at LessOnline, and hopefully they haven't started their own story, and hopefully if they have, hopefully their story doesn't overlap mine. I'll check before posting, hoping to get this one finished and out there.

Kensuke Fucks the World is an existentialist horror erotic novel, which I describe as being "like the Erogamer, but sad". Currently 75K words, and might never see the light of day. I think I can wrap it up in another 25K words, but I think it needs a lot of work.

Long Stairs will probably be novella length in its finished form, and will probably not be finished. It's an old story, which predates Worth the Candle by a few months, and is about a military fireteam making a routine delve into an endless shifting dungeon that the US military has already pulled a lot of magic out of. Medics with clerical healing, wands and firearms, high fantasy and military. There's unfortunately some stuff in there that I cannibalized for WtC that needs to be changed so it's not a repeat, but nothing structural, and there are a lot of plot beats that I enjoy in both the 15K words that are already written and what's in the notes. I did not put a bunch of work into this one, but it was one of those cases where I was reading through old stuff and got enough of a head of steam that it latched onto me again. (I also don't know enough about the military or how to write that kind of stuff, which is one of the reasons that this fic never got my full attention.)

The Lot is a story that's basically just "the backrooms, but with cars". It think it was inspired by a tumblr post, but probably won't be finished, since it's probably novella length. Currently 9K words, more a character study than it is about people stuck in an infinite parking lot and scrounging off what they can find in glove compartments.

Kitchen Sink is a bureauporn/bureaupunk novel about the agency created to deal with the rise of mutants circa 1977. Currently a mere 9K words, but the plan was for each successive part of the book to focus on another genre being discovered by the department, so you'd get a book with wizards, with vampires, with aliens, etc., mostly with a focus on how these are handled on an administrative level. No way I would ever be able to sell it, unfortunately.

Robot Team Isekai (not its real title) is about a van full of kids on their way to a robotics team meet that get transported to another world where their individual specialties grant them awesome abilities in a "your hyperfixation makes you perfectly adapted to the fantasy world" kind of way, but for five people with different hyperfixations. 2K words, probably will never see the light of day.

Full Meta vol. 2 is a novel about a group of high school students who get metafiction powers, so like ... one girl gets the ability to read the text of the novel they're in whenever someone is engaging in exposition, one guy can read the flashbacks, someone can read all the romance scenes or whatever, and they have a dysfunctional time dealing with each other through college and into adulthood. I fully recognize that calling it "Full Meta vol. 2" when no first volume exists is a gimmick title and would be confusing enough to immediately turn people away.

Dark Wizard of Donkerk was an old NaNo novel, but got halfway dev edited before my dev editor on that one flaked. I think it's a good story, just a matter of getting into the guts of it and making it great, but that takes time. 173K words, but this is old old. If you like rough, unpolished creative output, you can read it on my website.

Untitled Hermione/Draco fanfic is, uh ... I guess according to the logs was something that I put effort into in late 2023. I have read vanishingly little HP fanfic, and I'm sure there's a ton of this stuff, and that some of it is even good. This one doesn't adhere too much to canon or fanon, and is mostly about trying to write a realistic racist who falls in love with someone he's racist against. 14K words, I cannot believe I added anything to this recently, but apparently I have.

Technically by the criteria set out, I should count all seven of the NaNo test chapters I wrote. Of those, the only ones that have retained any brain space are "The Inevitable Return of Nathaniel Greene" and "Dungeon Core".

There are a few more that are technically outside the arbitrary time limit of one year, but I'm going to include them because I have thought about them in the last year (and will not include the ones that I have not thought about).

Of Witches and Wizards is what I thought was a romance but was told does not fit the apparently pretty exacting mold of a "romance novel". It's about a widowed witch whose two sons have left for college and a wizard who travels the world writing about places for a travel guide. They fall in love. Tons of worldbuilding stuff as they visit different cities and see the breadth and beauty of magic in the world. 15K words right now, was going to be a nice and slender novel.

Eager Readers in Your Area was a short story I wrote a year and a half ago. The WIP is a novel-length version of that about ... art, artists, AI art, dealing with people online, and a bunch of other stuff. I wrote an outline I thought was quite good, but if the short story is the first chapter, then I want an equally good and tight second chapter, and that's hard to do.

Slaver Slayer (not final title) was about a slave who assassinates a high-ranking member of the kingdom and through an oversight gets a magical artifact that might possibly let her kill her way through the monarchy in an attempt to end the institution of slavery. The other protagonist is a detective who's grappling with his complicity in the system and is trying to stop her. Made it to 13K words. Another one of those that was outlined to be a nice tight novel.

[littledrummeraussie]

Am I too late? 😂🥰 Hi Angie! I hope youre well! Been a while and I miss yoooou! Gimmie some soft holiday magic with Ashton maybe? 👀🥹

My dear Sky 💜 this one ran away with me, and I really do hope this is everything you dreamed of. To be honest, I plan on revisiting this one later this year because I had so much fun building the characters and their story. 💜

masterlist. | want to be added to my taglist? | Christmas Blurb Fest 2022

just fall in love with me this Christmas. [a fake dating story with Ashton]

warnings: boss!Ashton. personal assistant!reader. fake relationship. just general cuteness and feels and confessions and such.

word count: 4350

----------

“It’s one more hour and then you’re free to go.”

“Are you kicking me out of your Mom’s house? My own boyfriend?”

Ashton giggled at your offended face, holding onto the plate he was drying, and you were quick to join him, trying to stay as quiet as possible. You flicked some water at him as you finished the dishes, an offer you made to his mother after she so generously welcomed you to her home and let you be part of their Christmas preparation and the holiday itself. To be honest, it wasn’t such big of a surprise – after all, you were dating her really lovely and really handsome son, Ashton.

Fake dating her son, Ashton. Ashton, who was your boss. Your boss, who somehow made his whole family believe that he did go on dates which he was able to fit into his really tight schedule. A tight schedule which usually took up his whole day, and which you were responsible for – after all, you were his personal assistant, so it was perfectly normal for him to talk about you in the most random contexts, right?

.

Apparently his family thought otherwise.

Ashton approached you after a long Friday night back in November and offered to take you home, saying it was too late and too dark to wait for a cab or an Uber, and that it was the least he could do after you stayed overtime because of his meeting running too long. You were chatting about the upcoming Monday and what you needed to prepare for with the holiday season coming up when he let out a little cough, slowing down at a red light.

“If the holidays have already come up…”

“I did schedule your two-week vacation for December,” you smiled at him, tapping away on your tablet to pull up your notes, ready to jot down any other things he wanted you to add. “You just need to confirm when exactly you want to go home and I’ll buy your ticket as well.”

“What are you doing for Christmas?”

“Uhm… nothing?” you shook your head a little, his question taking you off-guard. “Why?”

“You’re not going home for the holidays?” Ashton looked at you, teeth sinking into his bottom lip, something you were not used to; he was always so confident and put together.

“No, my family is currently not talking to each other, and I really don’t want to deal with that if I can help it,” you explained, shrugging a little. “I would rather spend Christmas on my own and in peace.”

“What would you say if I asked you to come and spend Christmas with my family?” he parked the car in front of your building, finally turning towards you.

“I’m not sure I understand…” you raised an eyebrow at him, looking at him expectantly. “What is going on?”

“I– might have told them that we’re dating and that you’re coming with me?” Ashton said the whole thing in one breath, face twisting into an apologetic grimace. “I’m– sorry?”

“You did what?” you blinked at him, not even questioningly – you just felt confused. Really confused. You were sure your boss just lost his mind.

Ashton let out a loud groan, head banging on the steering wheel as he mumbled a few colourful curses, before falling back against his seat, fingers running through his perfectly styled hair, messing it up in a second. In any other situation this would have been a hilarious sight for you – your extremely talented and influential, well-dressed and well-spoken boss falling apart in his car, all but making a fool out of himself with the dramatic way he acted. But you knew Ashton. You’ve been working with him for more than two years now, first as a junior assistant, then promoted to be his personal assistant once he fired your predecessor. He rarely freaked out over things, especially minor ones. But this seemed like a problem he was not ready for.

“I’m sorry, I–” he sighed, rubbing at his face tiredly. “It was a misunderstanding and now I can’t get out of it.”

“What kind of misunderstanding? Ashton, come on, you’re not helping!”

“I was talking to my Mom and I was telling her about an event we did and then a dinner and then another thing, just… casually dropping your name in the conversation every 2 minutes or so because obviously it’s perfectly normal for me to talk about my PA when we’re working so closely together, but…” he took another deep breath, hanging his head low before glancing over at you again, red splotches appearing on his face from how frustrated he felt. “She didn’t know I fired Melody in January… and that you’re my PA now… and she thought that this new girl I’m suddenly talking about is actually my new girlfriend whom I did not introduce yet.”

“And you did not correct her on that…” you concluded, and Ashton shook his head, staring at the dashboard.

“Nooope. And she asked me if you would be able to join us for the holidays and before I knew it I’d already said yes…”

“Ash–”

“I just… I just wanted them to finally leave me alone!” he massaged his temple, a headache certainly starting to flare up from all the frustration he carried. “Every time I call home they are always, always asking me about my love life and I just– I hated how I always tell them that I don’t have anyone, how I don’t have time to date, and then… and then I panicked and I just said–”

“Ashton!” you raised your voice and that finally made him look at you, eyes big and maybe a little nervous, still chewing on his bottom lip. “I’m in, it’s fine.”

“It is? Yeah?” he perked up at your answer, desperation still lacing his voice. “You would do that?”

“Sure. After all, I’m your PA. It’s my job to sort out your things,” you took a little jab at him, and that made Ashton laugh a little, letting out the breath he was holding back.

“Thank you, Y/N. You really are saving my ass,” Ashton started pulling himself together, like he didn’t just have a nervous breakdown in front of you. “And of course you’ll be compensated for giving up your holiday for my sake.”

“We can talk about details later. I’ll schedule in a dinner for us, because we definitely need to talk about a lot of things…” you were already making a few notes for yourself before smiling at Ashton, opening the car door. “Do you feel like Italian or maybe something Asian-style for our first official date?”

“Really funny, Y/N,” a laugh hid in his voice as he rolled his eyes. “Surprise me?”

“Of course you would say that,” you shook your head, grabbing your things; after all, this was a weekly exchange between the two of you. “Alright, then I’ll see you on Monday if nothing comes up during the weekend.”

“Thank you again, really,” he gave you a little nod as you climbed out of the car, rolling the window down to call after you. “Have a good night, darling!”

You laughed at his attempt and waved him away, promising yourself that you’ll come up with a nickname for him as well so you can tease him in front of his family. If Ashton dragged you into this whole thing, the least you could do was to have some fun while fake dating your boss.

.

“Are you sure you don’t want to spend the night?” Ashton’s mother fussed with the lapels of his coat, not yet ready to let go of her son.

“We would really love to, but we both have early flights and the hotel is closer to the airport,” Ashton smiled at her, stopping her hands and instead holding them in his own. “It’s still a good hour until we arrive, and honestly, Y/N is not a morning person. Like, at all. And I really don’t want her to miss her flight now that we were able to get a last minute ticket.”

“It was really lovely spending time with you, Mrs. Irwin. Thank you for inviting me, truly, it was a pleasure,” you stepped next to them, letting her hug you as well as Ashton started saying goodbye to the rest of his family. “I really wish we could stay, but we really don’t have any other options.”

“I know, sweetheart. I’m grateful you’ve spent your holiday with us instead of your family, so I understand you want to be with them as well,” Anne Marie gave you another sweet smile, squeezing your hands just like Ashton did with her. “I’m so glad he found you. You complement each other perfectly. I’ve never seen my Ashton this happy, and I wanted to thank you for it.”

“Oh it’s… it’s nothing, really…” you stuttered at her words, suddenly feeling a little awkward; if only she knew that the whole thing was just a well-orchestrated show the two of you put together…

“Please, he looks at you with such adoration. Now I kinda understand why he was so nervous to bring you back home – he’s smitten with you, and there’s no way he would let anyone know that there is someone who has Mr. Big Boss wrapped around their finger,” she continued in a whisper, a twinkle in her eyes, like she was sharing a secret with you.

“Mom, please, don’t scare her away,” Ashton turned back to the two of you, laughing, his arm slipping around your waist. “We should go, darling. We still need to check in and all.”

“Sure, boo. Once again, thank you for everything. These last two weeks were incredible!”

“Please come back soon, both of you,” Anne Marie bid you goodbye one more time before you grabbed your bags and luggage, loading them into the car Ashton rented, then you were on your way back to the city.

Leaving two days earlier wasn’t in your plans, but right in the middle of your stay with Ashton’s family your mother called you up, asking if maybe you would be able to still visit them, even if it was just for a few days. You were ready to tell her that it was a really last minute invitation, and that you were kind of in the middle of something that actually involved your job and your boss, and really, you didn’t want to go and hear the latest family drama. But then that night when you told Ashton about it he was quick to realize that maybe you did want to go and see your family, and he pulled every possible string he could to get you a ticket.

“I’ll change your contact info to Mr. Big Boss,” you giggled, your head resting back against your seat as you looked at Ashton. “Though I kinda like Ashton Bear with the red heart.”

“You’re terrible. Was that really the best name you could come up with?” he groaned, sending you a quick smile as he drove down the road.

“Because Baby Shortcake and the cake emoji were so much better, you’re right,” your eyes rolled at the memory when you were both looking for his phone in your shared bedroom, finding it under the presents you’ve brought, your caller ID flashing across the screen. “How did I even become that?”

“It’s what you ordered for dessert on our third date,” he shrugged, his cheeks flushing pink. “I mean, on our date, when we were discussing everything and all.”

“When we were talking about coffee orders, and I might have confessed that I have a whole chart based on your moods and what kind of coffee you usually drink at that time? Because that was definitely a really good work date, and the absolute best strawberry shortcake I’ve ever had,” you smiled, a twinkle in your eyes. “You should definitely take me back for another dinner or something, I think I deserve it.”

“Only for the strawberry shortcake?” Ashton chuckled, but there was something else laced in his voice, something flirty and maybe hopeful.

“Definitely for the cake. But maybe for something else as well…” you let your answer linger between the two of you, not missing how Ashton tried to hide his smile in his scarf, mumbling a quiet ‘okay’ to you.

.

After two weeks of sharing the same bed it was a nice change that you were able to have one just for yourself, even though you were still sharing a room with Ashton. He told you to go ahead and take a shower while he sorted out some things, and you happily wrapped the robe around your body once you were done with your nightly routine. By that time Ashton had also come back and went to freshen up after you were finished, settling down next to you on the couch in his own robe. Before any of you could say a word someone knocked on the door and he quickly went to open it, appearing a moment later with a tray and two mugs.

“What’s this?” you smiled as you accepted the steaming cup, looking at your boss over the rim.

“Hot chocolate,” Ashton returned your smile, taking a small sip of his drink, licking the whipped cream off of his top lip. “I’m still in a Christmassy mood.”

“Yeah, me too. And our room definitely helps with that,” you nodded at the small tree in the corner along with the artificial fireplace in front of you, everything settling the mood for a perfect, quiet night you still had together – the very last one. “Though I really liked your Mom’s living room. It was really nice and cozy.”

“Yeah, it was… it was nice. Back at home. Thank you for coming with me once again,” Ashton stumbled through his words a little before looking at his phone, his lips twitching into a thin line before quickly shaking his head.

“You’re okay?” you did not miss his mood changing, and you thought something might have happened which caused it.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m good,” he gave you a forced smile, looking back at his mug, not really drinking it anymore. “Uhm… it’s midnight. You’re officially off duty, and no longer my girlfriend.”

“Oh,” you blinked at him a few times, realizing why his demeanour changed for a second to his usual boss one. “Yeah, of course. Thank you.”

Silence settled over the two of you as you both returned your attention to your hot chocolates, sipping on them quietly. You imagined that this moment would pass without any other thoughts, that once Ashton told you that your agreement has come to an end you would just fall back into your usual roles and act like nothing has happened in the last few weeks. But the truth was that you couldn’t forget about them: the dates you went on, the kisses you’ve shared, the vulnerable, intimate moments you witnessed from each other while you pretended to be lovers.

“You know…” you finally spoke after a few minutes. “I had so much fun during these two weeks with you. It was really lovely and it actually felt like… like something that Christmas with family really should be.”

“I really had so much fun with you too. Can’t remember the last time I felt like this,” Ashton’s mouth pulled into a little smile, nostalgia lacing his voice. “It was the first time that I– that I really wished I could stay a little longer.”

“I’m sorry you needed to leave because of me. You should have told me, I could have found a way to get here and catch my flight in the morning…”

“No, I– I wished that I could stay there… with you,” the confession finally slipped out of Ashton’s mouth, his eyes settling on you. “That you didn’t need to go home, and neither do I. That we would stay and just be together. Just a little longer.”

“I don’t have to go home if you don’t want me to,” you answered in a whisper, almost like you were scared that if you were any louder it would ruin the magic of the moment.

Ashton slowly put his mug down on the table in front of you before scooting closer and taking your cup as well, placing it next to his, eyes still trained on you. His palm curled around your jaw, your own hand sliding over his as he tipped your head forward, nose tracing yours for a moment before you felt his lips slowly press against your lips, soft and tasting so sweet. It was more than just the quick pecks you’ve exchanged in front of his family; a little moan escaped you at the kiss, and Ashton took that as a sign to tease his tongue against your bottom lip, taking your breath away for a second. Your free hand slipped onto his shoulder and up to the nape of his neck, fingers brushing through his curling hair to pull him closer, wanting to get lost in the kiss you’ve shared.

It was long minutes later when he finally pulled back a little, forehead resting against yours as he breathed deeply, the hot puffs of air tickling your skin. You felt a smile tug at the corner of your mouth, eyes still closed, the words softly falling from your lips:

“Hmm, a real kiss?”

“I would like to think they were all real,” Ashton chuckled, heat radiating from his cheeks, but the cheeky smile on his face gave him away.

“That’s why I needed to tell you to kiss me that very first time?” your fingers combed into his hair, tugging on his curls a little while pulling him back again, lips pressing together for another second.

“I’m not a damn fool…” Ashton mumbled against your skin, nuzzling his nose with yours. “Well, not anymore.”

His honesty made you laugh and you buried your face against his neck, stifling your giggles. Ashton wrapped his arms around you, keeping you close to his chest, palm rubbing up and down your back, something that he picked up during your time at his Mom’s house when you were cuddled up on the couch, watching Christmas movies together. You still remembered the first time you were forced to act like lovers and be all touchy with each other, and now it warmed your heart how naturally it came for the two of you.

“I’ve thought that the only reason why I asked you to come with me and pretend to be my girlfriend was simply because you’re my assistant, and you’re used to dealing with my shit,” Ashton sighed against your hair, his voice close to a whisper, and you held your breath as you listened to him. “I’ve told myself that whatever I was feeling during our dinner dates or quick post-work discussions was because it’s been a while since I had someone I could share anything with. Because I needed to pretend we’re together, and I needed to believe I have feelings for you. I told myself I’m not falling for you, that I cannot fall for you. But by the time we have arrived it was already too late…”

You pulled back just enough to look up at him again, foreheads touching, wanting to ask him something, but Ashton continued talking, his eyes sparkling in the colourful lights twinkling in the corner of the room.

“I think… I think I always had feelings for you. Maybe not as strong as now, but they were there. And every time we needed to act like a couple I just froze for a moment because I was fighting so hard to keep my feelings in check. And every time I just felt myself falling even more for you…” a little smile pulled at the corner of his mouth at his own confession, and you ran your fingers down his cheek, softly caressing it. “After those first few times… it was so easy, so comfortable – I liked that feeling with you, being comfortable. I’m not used to that with people.”

It wasn’t a question; it was a statement. And you did remember, every little moment from the past two weeks: all those times when you needed to face a new situation that required the both of you to put your boss–assistant relationship behind yourselves, get out of your comfort zones, and act like the loving couple you pretended to be. It made sense now, how Ashton always hesitated first, but then warmed up to you as time passed by. The long looks, the lingering touches, the unprompted little cuddles, the quiet moments shared in the morning. You could have acted like you always did, just two people having a work relationship. But somehow you always found yourselves close to the other.

“I was telling myself that I’m only feeling this because we’re pretending that we’re in love. That these things will pass soon, especially as we’re coming to the end of our agreement. Funny how I realized what I was really feeling by the time you have decided that you’ll go home to your parents. It made me realize that I might just lose my chance to tell you how I feel.”

“Well, that was… quite the confession,” you let out a little laugh, your own cheeks feeling warm as you cupped Ashton’s face in your hands. “Am I allowed to speak now?”

“Oh, shit, yeah! Of course,” Ashton groaned, trying to hide his blush from you, his dimples appearing as he smiled. “Sorry.”

“That’s okay. I know you’re good at motivational speeches,” you teased him, making him roll his eyes before looking back at you. “I liked whatever we had before we started fake dating. I love our work relationship, I love our dynamic. But truth to be told… it was really easy to fall in love with you. I always thought you were… decent and… handsome… definitely great humour. But I quickly told myself that I can either ruin this by having a crush on you, or you know… keep my job. And then you fired Melody…”

“…and you decided to keep your job,” he concluded, his voice sounding a little more quiet.

“I also knew that pursuing a relationship with you would be really difficult, seeing as you didn’t really have any breaks in the last few years. And I wasn’t sure how it could work out… PA by day, girlfriend by night? And anyway, I wasn’t even sure if you would like me like that.”

“Well, I wasn’t sure either… not until recently,” he said, nodding for you to continue.

“When you asked me to go on this trip with you, I– I told myself you were crazy. Then I realized I was also crazy for even just thinking about saying yes to your offer. But I thought it could be a fun way to spend Christmas if I’m not with my family, and it also kinda gave me the chance to pretend that you… that you like me. And I was gone from the moment I saw you at the airport, wearing your glasses and waiting for me with coffee… and it broke my heart that this would be only for two weeks.”

“That’s why you ended up saying yes to visiting your family, even though you didn’t want to do it before?” Ashton asked, brushing a few strands of hair away from your face.

“I had a moment when I felt really close to you, where I believed that this thing between us… it was real,” you confessed, eyes looking down. “And I felt that I might need a few days alone to sort out my feelings before going back to work with you, acting like nothing happened while we were here. Like we didn’t share the bed, we didn’t hold each other, and we definitely didn’t kiss.”

“Well, I don’t want to pretend that these two weeks never happened,” you felt him curl his arms around your waist, pulling you into his lap before tipping your chin up, making you look into his eyes. “It’s the happiest I’ve been for a long time now. And I really want to hold onto this feeling. I really want this to be real, you and me.”

“What about our jobs?” you sighed, fingers tangling into his hair and brushing it back from his forehead. “Cause I want this, I want you, more than anything. But I don’t want to give up on you, not as my boss, and definitely not as Ashton.”

“We’ll just try and work it out when we’re back, okay?” he cupped your cheek, leaning closer to press his lips softly against yours. “We’ll schedule a work dinner at that restaurant you liked and talk about it over a strawberry shortcake.”

“You’re terrible,” you scoffed, pressing a smiley kiss back onto his lips. “Do I have to make the reservation?”

“Hey now, I know I’m bad at scheduling, and that’s why I have you, but I’m taking you on that date myself,” Ashton giggled, mumbling his words between more kisses. “It’s what a real girlfriend deserves.”

“Can I keep your contact info as Ashton Bear? With the heart?” you nudged your nose against his as you kissed, his fingers tightening on your hips. “If you’re my real boyfriend now?”

“Surprise me?” his voice turned into a moan, locking his arms around you, your body pressed against his chest.

“Of course you would say that.”

His giggle filled the air, hearty and full of happiness before picking you up in his lap and taking you to the bedroom. There were a lot of things forgotten that night: setting an alarm for the next day. Your robes and the other bed. Staying on your sides as you fell asleep. You both forgot who you were pretending to be and who you were supposed to be.

That night you were finally just two people who fell in love during Christmas.

----------

@mymindwide @fuckyeah5sostakemehome @suchalonelysunflower @talkfastromance4 @ashtonsunflower @in-superbloom @wiiildflowerrr @lovelywordsblog @heyitskelseaj @sadistmichael

[mariacallous]

On an island in the Singapore Strait, a thicket of apartment blocks peers mournfully over the sea. A corps of green-shirted gardeners dutifully tends the lawns and herbaceous borders along the roadside. A few cars slip along smooth roads to a commercial center with gleaming marble floors. Amidst the hundreds of closed shopfronts three restaurants are open—a fried chicken chain, a small café, and a gleaming and empty hot pot restaurant. Five duty-free shops are doing better business; some young men are stocking up on beer and Copper Dog whiskey at 11 a.m.

Welcome to Forest City: planned residents, 700,000; current residents, roughly 9,000. Launched in 2014 as part of China’s Belt and Road Initiative, the mega-project is headed by once-real estate giant Country Garden, a behemoth that now sits on the edge of bankruptcy.

At first glance, the project seems yet another tale of a ghost-city built on the back of a Chinese real estate bubble—and then doomed by the COVID-19 pandemic and economic slowdown. Yet Forest City’s story is also a deeply Malaysian tale, involving property-speculating sultans, nationalist politicians, and the country’s complex relationship with Beijing and its own ethnically Chinese minority.

Building a new city to lodge hundreds of thousands of residents on four new artificial islands in the Singapore Strait was always an ambitious venture. But the main market was not locals, but rather speculative buyers from the People’s Republic of China. When sales opened in December 2015, buyers flooded in, many of them buying “pre-sales” of uncompleted apartments. “You’d have buses coming over from Singapore every day filled with people who just landed,” said Tan Wee Tiam, head of research at KGV International Property Consultants. “There were over 1,000 agents in the sales hall, and it still wasn’t enough. … You felt like you were in China.”

Buyers were often looking for not a permanent residence but an investment that could also be a potential holiday home, or accommodation for children who were headed to study in Singapore. Some were reportedly even offered the opportunity to buy a flat in China and get one free in Forest City, said Christine Li, head of research in the Asia-Pacific for Knight Frank.

Yet this reliance on the Chinese buyers also left the project brutally exposed to changes in Chinese policy. The first blow came in 2017, when the Chinese government suddenly imposed capital controls preventing individuals from moving more than $50,000 out of the country annually. The minimum price of a Forest City apartment sits at around $75,000 and can be as much as $3.5 million. Then came the pandemic years which froze international travel—and stamped hard on Chinese real estate and growth.

Yet, Forest City’s staff seem to be holding out hope. Shane Lim, a hire from Singapore, showed me around and assured me that the place is working to attract buyers from across the world, including the Middle East, Indonesia, and Thailand. Still, he estimated that about 70 percent of his colleagues in the sales team are from China.

Halfway through my tour, a Malaysian man calling himself Ozzy introduced himself and his two wives. Now living in the United States, he’s searching for a place to buy in Malaysia that he can use to visit his daughter in Singapore and rent out when he’s away. Looking around, though, he’s unconvinced.

“Look at how empty this place is,” he said. “I’d only be able to rent it out for one or two months a year. … When I visited in 2018 this place was packed. Now there’s no one here. It’s like it’s haunted.” Lim stared at his shoes until Ozzy moved off. He then firmly assured me that the sales hall is busier on weekends.

A wet Wednesday afternoon might not be a peak sales period, but it is hard to escape the reality that the putative new city is barely lived in. Surveying one of the towers I descend from the 34th floor to the first, looking for signs of occupancy—a pair of shoes at the door, furniture seen through the windows that face the corridor, or even just curtains drawn over said windows. The place is eerily well maintained but empty. Just 25 of the 390 flats show any signs of current occupancy.

I met a single resident, a Malaysian Indian woman who said she lived in Forest City with her husband. Declining to give her name, she informed me a neighboring tower is busier. That would not be hard to believe. Some floors in this tower were completely empty with flats whose doors open to the touch, revealing light-filled marble interiors into which dead leaves have blown. Others had notices of a residents’ meeting dated October 2022 still taped to the door.

According to Li, there are signs that buyers may be slowly coming back. But she also suggested that Country Garden might have aimed too high, used to China’s experience of breakneck speed urbanization, supported by strong government support for infrastructure development. That policy created plenty of “ghost cities” in China itself—but until the recent real estate crisis, also huge profits.

Forest City has also suffered from being a political football since its launch, something Country Garden may well not have anticipated. “I did notice Chinese developers tend not to focus on the political climate,” Li said. “They are not used to the idea of general elections, change of government, and change of policies overnight.”

Despite its vast scale, the first time locals heard about Forest City was in 2014, when fisherman woke up one day to find barges dumping sand off the coast. Newspapers dug into the story, revealing that Country Garden’s main partner was none other than the sultan of Johor state, Ibrahim Ismail.

The tie made sense. Many businesses take on Johor royals as partners, benefiting from the influence they wield in the state. The Malaysian government is also bent on transforming southern Johor into a new economic hub, the Shenzhen to Singapore’s Hong Kong. The city was made a duty-free zone. When further investigations also revealed rushed environmental reviews, it took diplomatic protests from Singapore for the central government to intervene and ensure the proper process was followed.

However, things began to shift when the Malaysian government’s grip on power loosened. Rocked by the world’s largest corruption scandal, the China-linked 1Malaysia Development Berhad, voters turned against it. And at 93 years old, former Malaysian Prime Minister Mahathir Mohamad exited retirement to lead an opposition filled with former opponents, previously imprisoned under his watch, against a government coalition he once led for 22 years.

Forest City became one of Mahathir’s favorite targets. Inveighing against government corruption and waste, he accused the government of planning to sell out Malaysia to foreigners. Most provocatively, he claimed that the thousands of mainly Chinese buyers of Forest City apartments would be allowed to settle, become Malaysian citizens, and vote in its elections. In a country where ethnically Chinese make up 23 percent of the citizenry—and are often stereotyped as wielding undue political influence due to their wealth—the claim was explosive.

After his shock triumph in the 2018 elections, then-Prime Minister Mahathir followed through on his threats declaring that foreigners would not be allowed to buy property in Forest City. Despite legal challenges, the announcement apparently hit Forest City sales hard.

Five years and a series of dizzyingly complex political maneuvers later, the current Malaysian government is led by Prime Minister Anwar Ibrahim. His support is mainly built by ethnic minority-backed parties that triumphed in 2018. To secure his grip on power he needs two things. The first is economic growth. The second is increased support from Malay voters, to which end he has courted the sultans who act as power brokers in their states and take turns acting as Malaysia’s head of state. Perhaps none is more influential than the sultan of Johor, who started his five-year tenure in February this year.

In this context, Anwar seems to have rediscovered the charm of Chinese investment, and Forest City. He has repeatedly praised the Belt and Road Initiative, and in August last year he announced Forest City would be designated a special financial zone with residents offered multiple-entry visas, fast-track entry for those working in Singapore, and a flat income tax rate of 15 percent.

The sultan of Johor has also suggested reviving a proposed high-speed rail link between Malaysia’s capital of Kuala Lumpur and Singapore, with an extra stop at Forest City. And who knows what will happen. After, all the $10.5 billion Melaka Gateway project—launched under the Belt and Road Initiative and apparently scrapped in 2020—is also back underway, after finding new support from the state and federal governments. The developer behind the project recently acquired a major new shareholder, the sultan of Johor.

But the heyday of Chinese investment in Malaysia may well not be coming back. Ten years since China launched the Belt and Road Initiative, it has begun to pull back sharply on its overseas investments. China’s own economic slowdown and business wariness about the increasingly capricious regulatory environment is part of the story. But, the large number of projects gone sour also appears to have made Chinese investors more wary.

Meanwhile, Malaysia is struggling not to get left holding the bag. Should Country Garden go bankrupt, it’s uncertain what will happen to Forest City. At that point the Malaysian government could face the unpalatable option of a potential bailout by the Chinese government, leaving a chunk of Malaysian land in Beijing’s hands. Alternatively, it could step in itself—becoming the proud proprietor of what the developers still proclaim to be “A Prime Model for Future Cities.”

[brown-little-robin]

5, 6, 17, and 25. :)

5. What was the last thing you watched?

...huh! strangely, it was not jojo! it was in fact the next-to-last episode of Over the Garden Wall!

6. Show us a rock?

uhhh okay so it's not a rock exactly but have this brick thing from the porch below my bedroom window :]

17: Tell us about your favorite character?

current favorite character is Jotaro Kujo. there will be spoilers and I got a little excited and wrote more than I meant to, so if you don't want jojo's bizarre adventure spoilers, don't click read more. <3

okay SO!

JOTARO KUJO!!!! He's one of the main characters of JoJo's Bizarre Adventure. Jotaro inherited magical powers, improbable buffness, beautiful blue eyes, and a homicidal vampire enemy from his great-great-grandfather, the first ever JoJo (Jotaro is the third to bear that nickname). He's a complex, self-contradictory character, but essentially he's a self-caged tiger. He loves deeply but he knows his own size and strength and claws, so he keeps himself away from his loved ones physically and emotionally; he thinks of himself as a monster before he ever actually becomes one. He's quiet but has an immense presence, a smothering fire under a blanket of his own making. He's seventeen in 1988, a Japanese high schooler who likes jazz and sumo and cigarettes and manga, who calls his mother slurs but drops his entire life to go save her life when she falls ill. He kills for her. He goes through plane crashes, car crashes, boat sinkings, over twenty assassination attempts, and any number of injuries for her. He makes a few friends and loses over half of them. He thinks he's only good for violence and his vampire-killing quest confirms that belief for him. He's tragic.

But that's just the part of the story where he's the main character. Later, he shows up as a visibly depressed but somewhat coping 28-year-old marine researcher, and I say good for him. Good For Him. He really said "yes, I'm the most powerful person in the world and I could spend my entire life doing Hero Stuff, but what I want is to study the ocean" and then went and did that. What I really enjoy about Jotaro Kujo is that he seems to be a bit self-aware about being A Manga Main Character, and that responsibility crushes him—but doesn't kill him completely.

He stops his own heart to play dead once, have I mentioned that? ???? clutches my chest and groans. I love a good self-destructive character, okay. Jotaro is (as I've been lovingly told by several friends now) Robin Catnip.

25: Talk about something you love?

Man, I just did, what do you want from me? (<- joke)

now for something completely different: hats. I really love hats and specifically my hat collection. for example, I have this really incredible, like, newsie cap? it's brown and cream with a front brim that I can pull down over my eyes to shade my eyes and emote with. It's very useful. adorable, too, if I do say so myself. Also, it's lightweight, so it's cool to wear in the summer. I've also got a silly grey baseball-cap thing that says "BLESS YOUR HEART" in pink and blue on the front in stitching, which makes me laugh. it also makes other people laugh. I am winning at fashion.

[anotherdayforchaosfay]

I love that my doctor only talks about weight if I bring it up. My first visit, I inquired about why she didn't mention my weight, seeing as virtually every doctor has. Here's her list as to why:

My medical stiff shows I'm healthy save for my chronic health issues, which won't improve with weight loss.

My age. I'm in my 40s, not my 20s. My metabolism isn't the same, nor are my health needs.

My medication. My seizure medication, Lamotrigine Extended Releaze, comes with the side effect of weight gain. When I started the medicine, I was 100 lbs/45 kg soaking wet. In less than three months, I put on 30 lbs/13 kg. I was very unhappy about this, but there was exactly nothing I could do. As the dosage was raised, my weight went up. I'm now 175 lbs/79 kg, and no one believes me.

My medicine makes it virtually impossible to lose weight. At one point, I was walking 5 miles/8 km a day. I did that for two years, and went from 170 to 150 lbs. If I skipped a day, I put on weight. My doctor at that time suggested I go vegetarian (which is difficult when you have dietary restrictions), and I did that for three months. It made no difference.

My diet is, in fact, very balanced amd healthy. I listen to my body's needs, and my daily seizures plus adhd means I crave a lot of fruit and carbs because I burn through glucose. My epilepsy has resulted in developing hypoglycemia, due to the fact I have seizures Every. Single. Day. One of them is completely unnoticed until after it's done. How do I know? My blood sugar sinks, I end up craving sweets (like apple juice or honey), and if I don't satisfy this, I will lose consciousness.

She 100% agrees BMI is bullshit, and has never once in her career applied it to patient care.

After inhaling a shit load of smoke, and the stuff in it, when our home went up inflames almost 10 years ago, my barely there asthma went to severe. For several years, I couldn't walk more than about 15 feet/4.5 meters without pausing to catch my breath. Since moving to a more humid region, I've improved by leaps and bounds...until I contracted covid. It's not as severe as it was for the first 18 months after recovering, but I still become winded very easily. I'm able to walk about half a mile if given a 30 minute break. I also become exhausted very quickly courtesy of covid. My chances of ever running are slim. She suggested riding a bike around the block a couple times a day. Currently, I have no bike and cannot afford one.

The reason she suggested a bike at all is to build muscle strength, bone strength, and to gently work my lungs. She made a point to not push myself beyond what is comfortable. Why? Asthma attacks and exhaustion. I have collapsed due to exhaustion, and that was just grocery shopping. We ended up requiring a wheelchair to get me to the car. They held onto the groceries so my husband could go back and pay for everything while I recovered in the car. Imagine that, but on a bike and no one to help me.

She has not brought up my weight since. Instead, she asks how I feel about it, that not putting on more weight is good. I've held steady at 175 lbs for about four years. My husband LOVES me weight gain, and walks behind me because of it. Y'all, my ass jiggles and bounces as I walk. He also loves that I have boobs now, and how squishy I am all over. He never comments on my weight, only informs me if my clothing is too tight and asks if I would like to go shopping for new cloths. This man dragged my fat ass to the mall to buy clothes. Autism makes my tolerance of trying on clothes very limited, so he was extremely patient. I now have four pairs of pants instead of one, about a dozen t-shirts instead of six, and a few blouses. His next goal is to get me more shoes because I own just a single pair. Shoe shopping is a fucking nightmare, but I need a pair of garden boots (I cannot stand wet socks and thorns are a bitch), sandals, house shoes with arch support, and dress shoes. I'm not looking forward to this at all.

Nothing is wrong with my weight, just my perception of it. Everyday I'm mentally slaughtered with weightloss ads (I miss streaming services not having commercials; they've become cable tv), people here posting/reblogging weightloss bullshit, people offering "advice" to lose weight (I will block each and every person who send me this shit, do not test me), and it's exhausting.

My doctor is amazing and has done such an amazing job helping me.