#or maybe due to the setting it would make me more than qualified

[bleaksqueak]

adding to that anon's comment on the site's about page by saying i love the 'and prom's tomorrow!!' energy of the new introduction segment

Hahaha thanks! I think we waffled over letting it end on a more ominous sting or not, but in the end it was decided it should be more weighted from Maia's POV. And, at least in the current time of things, Maia's focusing her worries on something at least somewhat in her control. That's what she's telling herself. Though now due to your example, I'm realizing that the thought of "Prom in the veil" is a thought that's never once crossed my mind before.

[formulafixated]

The 2010 Season: The Greatest Ride

(This is an old blog post from July 19th 2023)

AKA: Niamh yaps about a random F1 advert from 2011. Here's a bit of a curveball.

My original plan for my second blog post (a deep dive of sorts into the mythic nature of being a Ferrari driver) has been momentarily put on hold to make way for whatever this will be. And I have yet to know what this will be or how it will turn out but stick with me, okay!

Some context first. Picture me at 11pm eating some Shreddies as a before-bed snack and finding things to watch on Youtube while I do (because eating without having a video to watch is a fate worse than death), when I come across a video titled "BBC F1 2011 INTRO". I'm instantly like "oh awesome, love me a bit of The Chain", thinking this would be similar to other F1 intros of the 2010s era.

(Try and tell me you can listen to that song without thinking of Formula One.)

I was wrong.

What I was witnessed to instead was enough to make me stop eating altogether. I put the spoon down. My Shreddies were left to drown in the milk but I didn't care, I was physically unable to move as a result of this video. It was a montage of various moments from the previous 2010 season (a beloved season to me), set amongst Hans Zimmer's iconic 'Time' from Inception and over the top was a poem narrated by Eddie Jordan.

"But Niamh, that sounds way more boring and normal than you made it out to be. Shreddies drowned for this?" I hear you say. You underestimate how much a bit of film soundtrack and spoken poetry can impact a girl. I was so impacted, in fact, that I was suddenly fully prepared to pause my planned blog post (which in all honestly I still have yet to find the inspiration for, so maybe this is a good thing!) and write this one instead. I have got to talk about some of these quotes and what they refer to. Think of this as a sort of 2010 season mini recap, but only the most dramatic moments.

Here is the video, by the way. I urge you to check it out.

https://youtu.be/k_hFOC42Qcw

Let's begin!

(A warning: this is all just going to be meaningless drivel from my brain. But you probably already knew that)

“It had charging snorting bulls in the ring tamed only by those two who rode them. Unable sometimes to tame themselves, unable to control their own beast within”

Who doesn't love a metaphor? Obviously this refers to Sebastian and Mark at Red Bull and their tumultuous relationship that had started to develop by the second year of their partnership. Most people think mainly about 2013's Multi 21 incident when talking about the pair's most tense moment, but 2010 had its fair share of these too. Firstly, the wildly entertaining Turkish Grand Prix saw them collide after Seb attempts to overtake Mark on the inside. Due to the angle of Seb's car they made contact and he is sent spinning off into the gravel, with Mark managing to escape being stuck and continuing the race. This moment is so iconic, I think, because of Seb's reaction to it (watch it on Youtube if you haven't already, it's great) and the fact it was the catalyst for the downfall of their relationship. Not helped by the fact that three races later at Silverstone, an incident with Seb's front wing in final practice meant that the team replaced it with Mark's newly upgraded one. Seb then went on to take pole position in qualifying. As a result, talk about favouritism within the team arose. But that's a blog post for another day. Anyway, I love this quote and I think it sums them up perfectly; sometimes they really were unable to tame the beasts within. The way the shot moves from Seb laughing with Britta to Mark in the background looking all solemn and serious? Art.

“It had intrigue and inviting. It had a prancing horse and a rider asked to take a fall”

It's quite easy to wax poetic when it comes to Ferrari, but I think this line is just so good. I love it when Ferrari is referred to as the 'prancing horse', there's something so elegant about it. The lineup for 2010 included newcomer Fernando Alonso and Felipe Massa, who had already been part of the team for a few seasons. The season before Felipe had undergone surgery due to an accident at the Hungarian Grand Prix, and understandably he had a slow return back to his usual form once the 2010 season began. As a result, by the German Grand Prix, Massa was 31 points behind Alonso and therefore not a championship contender. It was during the last few laps of this race that Massa was ahead of his teammate for a 1st place finish when he received a message from his race engineer Rob Smedley informing him that Alonso was faster. He quite literally said, ‘Fernando is faster than you, can you confirm that you understood the message?’. Felipe let his teammate through to take the 1st place trophy. Ferrari, despite claiming that the incident didn't involve illegal team orders, were fined $100,000 for the controversy. It didn't help that Smedley literally apologised to Massa after the original message... whoops. How many riders of the prancing horse have been asked to take the fall?

"It had those who would not lie down and told that they were not the chosen one."

The term "chosen one" has so much weight to it, right? Obviously this line relates to Mark during his time opposite Seb at Red Bull. Mark frequently vocalised his feelings surrounding the apparent favouritism within the team despite their adamance that there was no such notion. The initial tension caused by the swapping of front wings at the British Grand Prix was soon diminished once Seb took a trip off track and received a puncture, meaning Mark was able to storm ahead and take the win. During his cool down lap he announced over the radio, "not too bad for a number two driver", referring to the idea that Sebastian was Red Bull's favourite. This wouldn't be the first time Mark brought the subject up in a public manner, so it's definitely true that he refused to lie down and accept what was happening. No matter how much they tried to deny it, Sebastian was always Red Bull's 'chosen one'. The chosen one hand picked personally to bring the team to the top after years of disappointing results. And that he did. But God, did Mark try his best!

"It had new and old; new faces, new machines, new blood. And an echo of the past, a name, a memory."

One of the moments that genuinely gave me chills. The 2010 season brought with it five rookies, including Nico Hulkenberg and Karun Chandhok, as well as new teams. There were also new regulations regarding a ban on refuelling, a ban on double diffusers and a collective agreement not to use KERS. But despite the fresh faces and rule changes this season indeed brought several echos to the past. The 2010 season saw the return of a familiar name in Team Lotus, which hadn't taken part in F1 since the 1990s. Their livery even referenced the classic green and yellow colours of the original Lotus cars of the 60s. One of the rookies introduced this year was Bruno Senna, nephew of Ayrton Senna (who even raced for Lotus during his career). I remember while I was watching the 2010 Bahrain Grand Prix, Bruno's engine overheated and there was a shot of his eyes through his visor. Martin Brundle reacted to the shot by saying, "that scares me, that looks like Ayrton through the crash helmet when the visor is open... it stops me in my tracks." Despite his unremarkable rookie season, I'm sure he brought back a lot of memories for F1 personnel and fans alike. In a similar vain, 2010 was the year that 7-time world champion Michael Schumacher returned to the grid to drive for the also returning Mercedes GP team after retiring in 2006. 2010 was the year of throwbacks and nostalgia.

"It had the spectre at the feast; a falling god now reigning against his own mortality and risking that of others."

Used to talk about Michael, this line was SO interesting to me. Firstly, the description of him as the 'spectre at the feast'. This phrase can be linked to a scene in Shakespeare's Macbeth where the ghost of murdered Banquo appears at a feast, and is used to refer to someone or something that brings misery or sadness to a happy or celebratory occasion. So why was this used in reference to Schumacher? Of course, the legend's return to the sport brought with it a lot of hope and anticipation that he would return to his former glory once he raced again. Nevertheless, Michael struggled to get good results in his first stint back. A new generation of cars and regulations, and a team which struggled to improve upon its previous success (Mercedes GP replaced 2009 constructor's champion Brawn GP), can't have made it easy for him. Thus commenced a season of misery and disappointment for those once hopeful fans. A so called "spectre at the feast". "A falling god reigning against his own mortality"; a god of the sport attempting to reestablish his former glory but unfortunate timing and circumstances meant he had to accept he was no longer untouchable. The last part of the line refers to Michael's sometimes aggressive driving style, specifically the incident at Hungary where he squeezed former teammate Rubens Barrichello against the wall of the pit lane while defending. The dangerous move was punished with a 10-place grid penalty the next race. People often claimed that while Michael never lost his ruthlessness, he had lost other aspects once apparent in his original F1 stint. Whoever came up with that line deserves a Nobel Peace Prize in literature.

And there we go. The 2010 season recapped in the words of whichever brilliant mastermind at the BBC F1 team came up with that poem, and a bit of my knowledge sprinkled in as its one of my favourite seasons. There's just something about art when it's combined with Formula One because the effects it has on a simple girl like me is groundbreaking. I eat it up every time! It turns simple car racing to something much more dramatic and emotional and interesting and I value every person who creates art dedicated to F1.

Please never stop.

Anyway. That was really long and probably quite boring, but I had so much fun writing it. I love talking about old seasons and I'll probably do it again in other posts. I hope you enjoyed it nonetheless!

[masonshaws]

FANTASY HOCKEY FOR TUMBLRINAS: A GUIDE

been curious about fantasy but have no idea how it works? and whatever guides google deigns to give you are not helping? do you live in canada or minnesota and have your coworkers managed to press-gang you into their fantasy hockey league and you don’t want to embarrass yourself? welcome! i have one whole season of fantasy hockey experience and managed to get second place in my league so i’m probably qualified to take you through this. strap in and hopefully this isn’t incoherent because i have extremely limited visual aids available!

PART 1: HOW IT WORKS

first, the two major fantasy sites are going to be yahoo fantasy and espn fantasy. which you use is probably determined by which one your league commissioner (person who made your league) likes better. disclaimer: basically all of my experience is with yahoo fantasy.

so before we get to talking about the draft - the first thing you do in your fantasy sports journey - let’s talk about what you’re drafting your favorite little hockey men for.

the goal of fantasy hockey is to win either head-to-head matchups or your group as a whole (depending on the settings of your league, to my knowledge head-to-head is more common) in individual stat categories that fall into two groups - skater stats and goalie stats. for instance, if all your skaters got more goals over the course of a week than your opponent’s skaters, you would win the point in that category. if your opponent’s goalies had a better average save percentage than your goalies, they would get the point in that category.

all stats are cumulative across your entire roster, for the record. even save percentage and goals allowed average for goalies, which are averaged out, use every goaltender appearance.

if your win-loss record is good enough (for some leagues, each category separately counts towards your record - for example if your league has 11 categories and you win 6, lose 4, and draw 1, your record is 6-4-1, not 1-0 - and for other leagues, each stat adds to a cumulative point total in different weights, i.e. goals worth 1, assists worth .5, etc., and whoever's total is higher wins), towards the end of the season you make your league’s playoffs, where you duke it out for the title.

there are two commonly-used sets of skater stats, which have become the ways people define fantasy hockey leagues as a whole: points leagues and “bangers” leagues.

points leagues use, as you can imagine, different points categories for skaters. the most common set of these is goals, assists, and power play points. potentially plus or minus shorthanded points depending on your league. bangers leagues, on the other hand, usually use those three stats plus shots on goal, hits, and blocked shots. this makes player selection more multifaceted and interesting and shifts the balance of who has more value in a given league. brady tkachuk is maybe the exemplar of a player who gains a ton of value in bangers leagues due to him having good points totals while also putting up a lot of value in those banger stats. i had esa lindell in my team last season, who put up a whole 24 points, none of them on the power play, but was still valuable to me because he had a lot of hits and blocked shots and helped me win those categories on a pretty regular basis.

you may be looking furiously on normal websites to figure out a player’s banger stats. you will not find them. ask me how i know this. your most reliable source of player stats is going to be the fantasy websites themselves, and you can look through player databases without having a team. yahoo, at least, even lets you do mock drafts, if you want to get cozy with the ui and the experience before you do it for realsies.

(a sample of what a fantasy stats page might look like. this particular one is displaying player stats from last season. if unfamiliar with stat abbreviations, in order, they are: games played, goals, assists, power play points, shorthanded points, shots on goal, hits, blocked shots.)

(same as above, but for goalies. stats in order: games started, wins, goals allowed, saves, shutouts, overtime losses.)

goalie stats are usually wins, goals allowed average, saves, and shutouts. plus or minus save percentage or overtime losses, depending on your site and settings. these are all pretty straightforward, with the small wrinkle of “do you take a better goalie on a worse team knowing he’ll win less but have better other stats” vs “do you take a more average goalie on a better team knowing he’ll be better supported by his system which might help his stats and definitely get him more wins”.

PART 2: THE DRAFT

now that you know what you’re looking for, let’s talk about the draft.

most fantasy drafts are “snake drafts”, meaning the pick order flips every round, in interest of fairness. while most pro sports drafts are the same order every round (1→16, 1→16, 1→16, etc.), they have history to fall back on. poor teams need better players to build around, while better teams already have those players. but in the average fantasy league, everyone is starting from zero. so the order goes 1→16, 16→1, 1→16, etc. for as many rounds as your draft goes. the person who picked last in the first round gets to pick first in the second round, and so on.

what you’re looking for here is highly dependent on your team settings. does your league just distinguish forwards from defense from goalies? or does forward position matter? (if it does, know a player is not locked into a spot once you use him there - he can play any of his listed positions at any given time, whether or not he actually plays that spot in the lineup. for instance, joe pavelski is listed as both a center and right wing - despite the fact he rarely plays center, you can deploy him there on any given night. or you could deploy him at right wing, if that’s where your opening is.)

i’m going to take you through this with the settings used by my last league.

in my league, you had 16 guys on your roster. 2C, 2LW, 2RW, 4D, 2G, and 4 guys on the bench (who, if they played that day, their stats would not be added to any of your totals, although this was rarely an issue). so on my team, i usually had 8 forwards, with at least 3 people able to play each position, 5 defensemen, and 3 goalies. your league might have a bigger roster, it might not have a bench, it might not care about where forwards play as long as they’re forwards, and this all influences the spread of who you draft and when. if your league calls for - in the case of espn’s default league settings - 9 forwards, 5 defensemen, 1 utility player (put another way, any skater), 2 goalies, and 5 guys on the bench, well, you probably take 12 or 13 forwards, 7 or 8 defensemen, and 3 goalies, and it’s on you how you prioritize the order of that.

really, the important parts of the draft are the first few rounds, when you pick the really high-end guys. later-round players are easier to swap out for each other - which you can do! any guy not drafted is considered a free agent, and if you draft a guy who’s underperforming, you can swap him out for an undrafted guy who’s doing better. so don’t sweat the later rounds too much beyond what roles you need to fill. you can let your fantasy site’s ranking board help you out there.

lightning round q&a:

when do you pick a goalie? generally people go the same way nhl teams do in the entry draft - probably not in the first round unless he’s a really sure thing to an extent that he’s more valuable than whatever top skaters are still there.

can you run with just 2 goalies? if you are extremely confident that your 2 goalies combined can match the output of other teams going with 3 goalies. if you have a vasilevskiy or a sorokin or the type of goalie who is a clear starter and plays at a high level for those starts and your other goalie is giving good starts, then yeah maybe you can run with 2. i did for a bit. take the third goalie though, it’ll make your life so much less stressful, especially if your league has a minimum amount of goalie appearances requirement (mine did - your goalies had to make 3 appearances a week for their stats to count at all).

when do banger stats become more valuable than points? i wish i had a clear answer for that. you just gotta feel it out, man. broadly, when a player’s point total starts to get into average territory, then probably start really looking for those banger stats to maximize value. but if a guy has notable banger stats then maybe you take him before point totals get average. no good answer to this one, sorry

is there any reason for mcdavid not to be 1oa, even in bangers? no, and anyone who tries otherwise is being contrarian for the sake of it. if you luck out getting 1oa just take mcdavid. come on.

if you pick last in the first round, are you boned? well i picked last and got second place, so no you are not :)

when do you make a “reach” pick? as you’re drafting, you’ll have a list of players ranked by the site in front of you. use that to help but not as a bible. you reach when you think someone will take a player before you get to pick again, and the difference between that player and the next player on your list is worth the risk.

idk if people have more questions i can make another post or something. maybe you don’t have any of these questions. i hope it was useful anyways

PART 3: FANTASYING

here’s the meat-and-potatoes nitty-gritty of it all. here’s a very retro view of what your team hub might look like - note the ui absolutely does not look like this anymore:

you can actually see on here what i was talking about earlier with that “guys who play multiple positions can be used in either/any” thing. malkin is listed as both a center and a right wing, and is deployed as a center here, but if, say, this person wanted to bring in derek roy but still use malkin, he could put roy in malkin’s center spot and move malkin to bump selanne or jagr to the bench.

good news! i did manage to find someone’s screenshot with something similar to current app ui:

player stats for the week would be under where it says no game, but you can actually see the ir+ spot in use and what the general layout looks like. actually, speaking of ir-

let’s talk about ir real quick. and this bit is all based on yahoo fantasy, so if espn does this different, i’m sorry and you’re on your own

so! if your team has a dedicated ir+ spot, you can put any guy who is officially listed as out (O, as keller is above), injured reserve (IR), or long-term injured reserve (LTIR) there, and he will not count against your roster total. you have a limited amount of these spots, so probably don’t get landeskog, confirmed to be missing the whole season, and stick him on there, although you can and it won’t affect your main team at all. it would only be a problem if with him you have more injured guys than there are ir+ spots. with this, you could even draft a guy starting the season injured, like a brandon montour, stick him on an ir+ spot, and get a fill-in guy out of free agency afterwards (since you’ll only be drafting enough players to field a team without any injuries), if you think that when he’s healthy, he’ll boost your team enough to be worth missing out on a player of the caliber of where you drafted him. so if a player on your team gets injured and you have ir+ spots, use them! pull a guy out of free agency to take the injured player’s spot and go about your merry business knowing you can still field a full team.

anyways - as before, only the players off the bench (in the white spaces on this ui) count towards your totals. so, and i cannot stress this enough, MAKE SURE YOUR PLAYING PLAYERS ARE ACTUALLY PLAYING AND ADDING TO YOUR STAT TOTALS. much heartbreak has been had by people who have forgotten to do this. yahoo has a fun little button that will automatically do this for you, but only for the week, so keep up with that, too. (for purposes of fantasy, weeks start on mondays btw.) it might also not always start the people you want starting if there’s more guys playing that night than there are spots on your starting roster, so watch for that, too. like if you have 4 defense spots and you have 5 defensemen playing that night, decide which one’s stats you’re most okay with missing out on. players only lock in once their game time comes around, so you do usually have the entire day to decide. you might be influenced by where your matchups are standing - if you’re definitely losing your assists matchup, but your hits matchup is close, you might sit your points-producing defenseman in favor of your big hitter. stuff like that.

and that’s actually pretty much it! even playoffs work the same way. once you’ve got your team, the day-to-day of fantasy is pretty simple. make sure your players are playing, adjust your team with free agents if necessary, conveniently ignore trade requests if they suck (as far as i can tell trading is more prolific in irl fantasy groups where people know each other better, we had like no trades in my online league of strangers last season), root on some guys you’ve never heard of before because you need them, and have fun!

[jjkeremika]

all or (Formula) n(One)

chapter five: Australia Grand Prix

ch1; ch2; ch3; ch4

description: “Now there’s that scarlet Ferrari! Car number 139 with the special insignia handwritten on display. A MKA that says, ‘this car is ready to race.’”

“Not just to race, Martin, but to win. To rebuild a car to that standard—to be so confident that it’s at least as good as previous with so little time…”

“Honestly, Alex, some races it just makes me wonder if maybe the signature is more of a good luck cast than a proper sign off.”

tag/disclaimer(s): written as camera angles and commentary between F1 radio hosts (Alex, Martin, guest Julian); eremika (Ferrari racer! eren jaeger x engineer/mechanic! mikasa ackerman); friends to lovers; formula one au

*Race day; Australia Grand Prix*

“It’s a beautiful day in Melbourne at Albert Park, home for the 2024 Australia Grand Prix. I’m Alex. I’m here with Martin and, today, we are joined by Julian, a former tech and analyst.”

“Julian, thanks for joining us today. Really excited to have a deeper analysis of the cars based on your experience.”

“Thanks so much for having me, Alex and Martin. Thrilled to be here and I already know we’ll have much to discuss during today’s race as both the McLaren and Ferrari are back in service this weekend after a full week of repairs.”

*camera follows Zeke as he walks around the McLaren garage.*

“There is Zeke Jaeger now, walking over to that repaired chassis.”

“I get a thrill whenever I see him, Martin! A top driver who was dropped after a great season, one who fully believed he would have to retire early due to the lack of a seat. Look at him now in that orange jumpsuit.”

*Camera follows Zeke as he walks around the orange chassis, talks to some McLaren engineers*

“It’s hard to believe he’s not counting down the number of races he has until Flock is set to return. I mean, you can just see that he is feeling the pressure to perform to keep that seat. Especially after the last racing weekend.”

“Well,” Martin laughs, “McLaren might have to make a decision on which driver they’d rather seat.”

Alex chuckles, “My money’s on the Jaeger brothers staying in those vibrant cars for this season.”

*camera shows Eren Jaeger in the Ferrari red jumpsuit wandering the paddock, talking to Mikasa and some other mechanics.*

*zooms in on Eren and Mikasa laughing, looking at each other. Eren instinctively leans closer to her.*

“That all depends on how they operate. Now, Julian, based on your expertise, do you think these cars will be running smoothly this weekend after that significant crash?”

“It’s hard to say, Martin, you’d really have to see the data on how the cars performed during testing. But based on those Ferrari sprint and qualifying results on Saturday, it’s really hard to believe that MKA Ferrari is not in racing condition.”

*camera zooms in on Eren as Mikasa helps him don the headgear and helmet. Eren’s talking to her. She’s chuckling. inaudible*

“Quite amazing, really, how Ferrari managed to repair the car like nothing even happened in such a tight deadline.”

“Well, the rumor in the paddock is that Mikasa spent days and nights in the garage with Eren on the car.”

“She must’ve signed the chassis one of those nights. Look at that signature.”

*camera follows as Eren starts to climb into the driver’s seat. Camera panel includes the MKA in black ink on the bright red chassis*

“Really gets me excited just seeing it,” Julian chimes in. “It’s almost like a good omen that Eren’s about to have a good time on that track.”

“I bet all drivers out there are jealous, honestly!” Martin continues. “As a former driver, it feels like a sign of a stable, fast car that really lets them express themselves out there.”

“Ferrari must be feeling confident today. Let’s hope it translates into a great race result after yesterday’s epic comeback in qualifying, where we saw Eren Jaeger pushing that repaired chassis all the way to a top grid place of third.”

*Camera pans over Eren who waves to the crowd from inside the car. Crowd cheers*

“Can’t forget, Martin, that that grid place might move up a slot depending on race control’s decision about Ackerman’s potentially illegal move yesterday.”

*camera zooms in on Levi Ackerman gearing up and walking towards his car*

“Right you are, Alex! Yesterday we saw Levi Ackerman beat his teammate and former two-time championship winner Reiner Braun in qualifying—achieving first pole position in qualifying for the fiftieth time in his career—but only after what appeared to be manufacturing a racing start from the very end of the pit lane.”

“Ah, yes, that did seem like an interesting move from the experienced driver,” Julian mentioned. “From past qualifying’s we’ve seen a grid penalty of up to ten seconds issued for similar instances—if that the stewards decide it’s a worthy act to punish before the race.”

*camera settles on Reiner Braun in the Redbull seat. Crowd cheers*

“Listen to that crowd as the camera shows our Formula One world champion Reiner Braun. Two years in a row. Starting in second position for the first time this year.”

“Still a great spot to be in, on that front row. And if Ackerman is penalized before the start of the race, he’ll be back on pole position in no time.”

*grid line up starts to show alongside live view of drivers getting ready in their cars. lining up for the formation lap*

“As we gear up for the formation lap, let’s review the grid order. For our top two, as mentioned, we have yet another Redbull 1-2, but with Levi Ackerman in leading pole position and Braun in second.”

“In third we have the youngest Ferrari driver Eren Jaeger, who was DNF last race. Definitely gearing to win some massive points in today’s race.”

“Right beside him and locking out that second row in fourth is his teammate, Porco Galliard, in the second Ferrari.”

“But he better be prepared to defend because that’s Erwin Smith in the McLaren chasing his position in fifth. Only half a millisecond ahead of Jean Kirstein in the Mercedes, who sped his way into sixth place.”

“Quite the buffer between the Jaeger brothers this time with Zeke Jaeger in seventh, proudly sporting that McLaren right behind his old teammate.”

*cars pull into their starting positions following the formation lap. the lights turn on in ascending order*

“With still no word from the stewards, it seems we will see Levi Ackerman leading this race!”

*lights turn off. cars start towards the first corner*

“What a brilliant start from Eren Jaeger in the MKA Ferrari! forcing his way into the leading row around the outside as the Redbulls approach the first corner,” Martin exclaims.

*Braun overtakes Ackerman around the inside and manages into the lead. Virtually simultaneously, Jaeger overtakes Ackerman around the outside and cuts right between the two Redbulls*

“Braun hugs the inner rim as they round the first corner and just barely manages to stick his nose in front of his teammate. Just barely keeps that lead around the second corner.”

Alex chortles in amusement. “And while Ackerman was busy focusing on the two-time world champion, Jaeger cut around the outside, found the inner corner and cut in front!”

“And we are also hearing from race control right now that Ackerman will serve a 15 second penalty for a fake start during the qualifying yesterday.”

“We are seeing Reiner Braun set the race pace, a usual sight to see—“

“But Jaeger is awfully close to that Redbull. Only a 0.1 second gap, Martin.”

“A damaged car has got to be even more careful breathing dirty air. Look at how that Jaeger is avoiding driving directly in the exhaust of that Redbull,” Julian comments. “That’s a driver who understands how the car will work.”

*drones follow the Redbull lead and chasing Ferrari. the ferrari car is close behind, but slightly to the side of the navy blue car.*

*camera flashes to Ferrari team watching the race from the garage. Focuses on Mikasa watching intently*

*returns to the live drone view of the Redbull and Ferrari cars. The redbull manages to stay ahead in each turn. About to enter lap 2*

“DRS is now enabled. Will Jaeger finally be able to take that pole position?”

“Braun had a bit of a lock up going into turn 13. Jaeger took the opportunity to push on that throttle into the inner lane.”

“Coming out of turn 13, they’re wheel to wheel! Jaeger manages to keep the inside and you’re watching Ferrari take the lead of the Australian Grand Prix! Eren Jaeger! First opportunity offered up. first opportunity taken. and the man who didn’t finish the last Grand Prix leads this weekend.”

“I mean look at the way that Ferrari just speeds right on by that Redbull, turns at the apex and without even needing DRS on the getaway—but taking it anyway!”

[aritamargarita]

ATTITUDE || 015

that last minute decision? well. this may come as a surprise to you all……..but i did add a little sexual content in this one. i actually was able to fit some in there so.. SURPRISE! i will signify where it starts with ** and the spacer is where it ends if you don’t want to read it. it’s also kinda quick for a reason lol

i hope y’all like it i was kinda nervous. i legit don’t know what im doing.🧍‍♀️this is my first time don’t scream at me

WELCOME….TO….MONDAY…NIGHT…..ATTITUDEEEE!!!!!

youuu guys knoww the drilllll! you know ‘sweet but psycho’ by ava max really set the tone for me.....”you’re just like me, you’re out your mind”??? oh yeah RENT WAS DUE!!!!!

hope u enjoy this chapter i had a lot of fun writing it

YOU’RE STILL RUNNING on adrenaline! You and Trish hit backstage, spirits high and thrilled you two not only attacked Torrie, but are working together for the night. It’s going to be one hell of a Raw.

BACKSTAGE // 8:01 PM

“Trish!” You yell, turning over to her and shaking her shoulders. “That was great! My god, we really kicked her ass.”

She smiles at you. “It was! Did you see her face when I joined in?! Hilarious!”

“Listen, thanks a lot for coming on my show and helping out. I’ll be in your corner tonight, so I’ll see you later, okay?” You give her a thumbs up, heading further down the hallway towards your locker room.

Trish had your gratitude. It’s only right for you to pay her back. You’d do everything in your power to make sure that their team won.

But other than Trish’s match, you’ve got a lot to do tonight. Watch the Hardy Boyz…..accompany Austin to the ring….it’s a busy day! Makes you happy you’ve got something to do.

Vengeance is coming up and that means Austin would have to be in a series of matches in order to qualify and become the undisputed champion.

This isn’t good for your anxiety. You knew he was pretty good, but what if it went the other way around?! Nah, that couldn’t happen. He has to win.

As you made your way down, you notice Michael Cole interviewing RVD. You decide to pop up behind him and join in. “Hello, world!”

With your sudden appearance on camera, the crowd cheers. RVD gives a smile and shifts his Hardcore Title to his left arm, then slings his right around your shoulders. “Hey! It’s Miss WCW.”

You wonder if he didn’t remember your name..which would be a shame since you two teamed up not too long ago. “In the flesh! Nitro’s Golden Girl is reporting for duty.”

“What a surprise!” Michael, the interviewer exclaims. “I was just asking RVD his thoughts on the Undertaker attacking him so viciously the previous night. What’re your thoughts?”

For a moment, your mind drew a blank. You can’t remember Undertaker attacking him at all! Just so you don’t stand there in silence, you make something up on the fly. “I mean, it’s crazy! If you ask me, I think Undertaker is going through a midlife crisis or something. I mean, joining a biker club? I could’ve sworn he was all scary a couple of months ago!”

You didn’t know much about him right now, but you tried bouncing off of what you’ve seen so far.

RVD nods his head, his tone relaxed as ever. “That totally makes sense. No wonder why he got mad when I recommended him to use diapers.”

You cover your mouth on instinct. WHY WOULD HE EVEN RECOMMEND THAT?! That’s literally not what you meant at all.

He continues. “If you ask me, I think the Undertaker’s just all worked up because RVD—“

“Woah, woah, woah. Hold on a second.” You could recognize that voice as Christian, who had his title on his shoulder as well.

“You’re saying that the Undertaker’s all worked up? And you,” He points to you. “You’re saying he’s going through some midlife crisis? Well let me tell you something, did you ever think it’s maybe because he gives more respect to Vince McMahon? Do you guys think you’re better than the Undertaker?”

Christian was getting a bit hostile. You hoped most of his irritation wasn’t towards you, but you still speak up anyway, Michael shifts the mic towards you. “Mr. McMahon never had my respect in the first place. It only makes things worse because of that match he put himself in to antagonize Trish Stratus. And if you want the truth, yes! I think I’m better than the Undertaker.”

RVD motions towards you. “You heard the lady. Besides, we’re gonna find out if I’m better than the Undertaker at Vengeance.”

The two of them stare each other down, but you take the opportunity to take the mic from Michael. “Can I see this?” You ask. He nods and hands it over. “Oooh, how about this you guys, since I heard the Undertaker isn’t here tonight, how about you two go against each other?”

Boom, you made the match card make sense. It was that easy. It’s not like the audience knew the card in its entirety anyway.

“For that hardcore title? Absolutely.” Christian wasn’t against it, in fact he was more than willing to prove himself to Vince. And with the hardcore title on the line? Hell yes.

“Sounds like a good idea.” RVD easily agrees, then lightly taps Christian’s title. “And how about we put that Euro-trash title on the line too?”

“I’m a genius!” You chime. “Title versus title? Hardcore and European?”

“My title? Ha! As if I’m going to lose this to you, RVD. I’m pretty sure neither of you know nothing about Europe!” Christian challenges. “What’s the capitol of Belgium?”

“Isn’t it Br—?” You’re about to answer...

…But RVD answers with no hesitation: “Waffle!”

You turn to look at him with a smile. God he’s stupid…but he’s hilarious. The crowd laughs at his response.

Christian shakes his head. “Are you serious? Do you even know what I’m talking about?”

“I think.” You say. “Why don’t you tell us the capital?”

“..Tch,” He scoffs, waving a hand. “I’m not telling you!” It made it very clear to the crowd that he had no clue what the capital was either. “Listen, I welcome any match, where it’s cool to use the Conchairto.”

Makes you think. Man, you need to be a commissioner or something, they’re missing out on a lot of opportunities here with your co-workers!

RAW IS WAR // 8:15 PM

Because of that segment, you had to literally run and change in the locker room. You’ve got a couple of minutes to be in gorilla and come with Team Xtreme to the ring.

As you were moving around, a black letter sticking out of your bag had caught your attention. You could spare 3 minutes to read this, so you walk over and pull it out.

‘Though our meeting was rudely interrupted, I find it apparent that you’re fit to be with me. You are unapologetically you, but it’s as if you’re being silenced.

I will set you free from the chains that you’ve been bound to. Find me in the shadows. A place where people discard things they have no use of.’ A place where one would find it disgusting.‘

— Quote the Raven, Nevermore.

And all of a sudden, you had less interest in the match you were supposed to come out for.

Who cares about the match anymore?

You wanted to know more about Raven. What he said at your anger management class really struck you. He even offered to free you.

Isn’t it about time you come with him?

You’re in no hurry to make it to gorilla anymore. A place where you could discard things of no use? A place where one would find it disgusting?

That had to be the trash. And to go even bigger, it must’ve been a dumpster. Normally, you’d be disgusted, but if it’s for Raven, you didn’t care. You didn’t care if he was beside it or inside it.

Who was on the match card again?

You couldn’t remember. All you cared about was going to find a dumpster. You quickly finish changing before heading outside the room. All you had in mind was heading towards the back.

You passed by quite a few of your coworkers, who seemed to be confused as to why you’re in such a hurry. The only person who was willing to stop you was Debra.

“[Name], sweetie,” She called, rushing over to you. “I’ve been looking for you. You and Steve told me class went well, but once I spoke to Doctor Smiley, he said it was a disaster! What happened?!”

You’re not sure what to say to her. It was one thing that you two lied, but your mind was focused on one and one thing only. “I don’t know.” You shrug.

“How do you not know?” She questioned. “And where’s Steve? You two should be ashamed of yourselves! I’ve never been so embarrassed in my life.”

You mutter an apology. You’re wasting time when you could be out and about…. “I’ve gotta go.” You move past her, completely unaware that you bumped her out of the way.

And towards the back you go. There had to be a dumpster back there. You push open the door and shiver as the cold air hits you.

There’s some cars back here. You wonder if it’s any of your co-workers or any of the higher ups.

….Ugh, who cares. You mindlessly walk forward in search for your pursuer. You see nothing but most of the cars disappearing and the sight of an empty parking lot until…..

“What a pleasant surprise.”

The voice immediately makes you turn to the left, seeing none other than Raven sitting on the ground surrounded by trashcans and pieces of litter. It’s not a dumpster, but it’s definitely somewhere no one would go.

Perhaps you were wrong, but you didn’t care. You’re filled with glee. He’s all you cared about tonight.

“I didn’t expect you to show up.” His curly hair was covering most of his face and he made no effort to shake it out of the way. “Austin brutally beat me earlier tonight and I feel as if it was an attempt to keep you away from me.”

You agree. “I think so too.” But you don’t want to stay away from Raven. You never want to. “What were you talking about when you gave me that letter?” You kneel down to his level.

Raven says nothing at first, but there’s a smirk playing on the edge of his lips that you couldn’t see. “…Come closer.”

You do, and he finally moves his hair out of his face to get a better look at you. “I want to set you free.” He gets up and lightly pushes you down so he’s on top of you instead.

“I’ll show you the light, [Name]. You’ll let me, won’t you?”

Yes. You will. He’s helping you in more ways than one.

Raven leans in closer, hovering his lips above your own before moving to your ear. “I want you to repeat these words.” He whispers. “I am no bird…and no net ensnares me. I am a free human being with an independent will.”

**

You nod as he goes lower and focuses on your neck. “I am…” You hesitate once he kisses it, then starts to bite down. “I am no..bird…”

Raven moves his hand down carefully and lands right on the underside of your left breast. He doesn’t really grope you there, instead glides over and down to your navel.

“And no net ensnares—ah!” He bites you harder, almost enough to draw blood. “I-I am a human being…” You’re almost breathless at this point, unable to focus thanks to the man on top of you. “…with an in…dependent will.”

He latches his lips off of your neck. Just as you think he was going to say anything else, he crashes his lips into your own.

Him doing that hurt, a lot. But you didn’t care. You loved it. He pushes his tongue into your mouth forcefully, drool sliding down your chin from how haphazard it was. He swirled his tongue around yours and you could only think about him. 

It’s the most messiest kiss you’ve had in your life and you wouldn’t trade this experience for the world. You can feel his hand slide down even further, right down into your underwear. 

You push Raven off to catch some air, but he keeps his hand nearby your underwear. He takes the hint and returns his attention back to your neck. You run your tongue over your now swollen lips.

He’s muttering something under his breath, you can barely hear him with the ringing in your ears. You can feel him inch down towards uncharted territory and your stomach fills with butterflies as he slides your underwear to the side.

Is this really happening? Right here? Right now?

It started out soft, as he gently caressed your insides with his finger. It’s almost like he was testing the waters. Your ragged breathing only egged him on further. Slowly, he begins to move his finger in and out.

He raises his voice so you can hear him better.

“The human body is a mystery to me. I find it strange that even the simplest gestures…”

Detaching himself from your neck, he looks up towards you. For a second, he curls his fingers, then uncurls it. “…can get a reaction out of someone.”

Through your moans, you finally gather some strength to speak. “I’ve gotta….” Though your mind was on a swivel the entire night, you knew people would be looking for you. “Gotta…….”

Raven doesn’t allow you to finish your sentence, switching from one finger to two. “Fear not. Tonight, you can become apart of me.”

You’re just stuck moaning and panting on the ground. You hope no one can hear you, but it’s unlikely with how empty this area was.

Even so, he doesn’t give you the right to even finish. He snatches his fingers out, stopping as quickly as he started and gets off of you.

You lean up from your spot, dazed and completely in the clouds. As he licks his fingers clean, you stare at him with such an intensity that you think your eyes would fall out.

You think you’re in love.

RAW IS WAR // 8:35 PM

You’re still disheveled from earlier. Your clothes were wrinkled, your hair had gotten frizzy, and you’re still burning inside.

Holy shit.

You’re aching because he didn’t give you the opportunity to finish. You hope this feeling goes away. You refuse to finish yourself off anywhere near the show.

On the bright side…you’ve figured it out. Raven is your one true love. He’s everything you wanted and more. You felt like you had all the time in the world for Raven. That you could drop everything you’re doing for Raven. Raven. Raven. Raven. Raven.

That’s all you cared about right now.

A cold hand on your shoulder makes you turn around quickly. “What?!”

“Heeeey. No need to get defensive!” It’s Lita, who looked pretty concerned. “You okay? I was worried about you. You didn’t show up tonight and Jeff was disappointed.” She pauses to look at how messed up you look. “You look a mess…what happened?”

“….” You look at Lita, unable to think of a proper response. “I….no, I’m okay. Just fine. Just leave me alone.”

Your response surprises Lita. “Huh? You’re acting strange. You can tell me, you know. Was it Torrie? If—“

“No! Just—FUCK! Leave me alone!” You scream at her, wanting nothing more than to be left alone at the moment. Lita immediately shuts up as you give her one last glance and head down the hallway.

that was an experience.

really really hope u guys liked it because i lowkey wasn’t fond of it?!?!?! again i feel like it was because i kept reading it over and over but yeah. raven does things. he won. the night isn’t over either...we’ll find out what happens next monday!!!!!! also reader challenging undertaker indirectly ruh roh

[dojae-huh]

[the anon from the "not-a-company-stan" answer] in the age where artists are getting their fame from tiktok (ice spice comes to mind) this idea of being in a notorious company really fades. there are artists in big companies that get nothing (be it kpop or apop), and artists without a company that go viral and famous and rich. ice spice has put out more music and getting more promo (a song in the barbie movie) in a shorter amount of time than some artists that have been stuck in a notorious label for years with no album (chloe, normani). i think it's just outdated to think an idol has to stay with their group company. blackpink didn't, CBX didn't, DO didn't, LAY didn't. they are proving it's perfectly doable to stay with their group work in their previous company but manage their own solo work separately. it seems a new paradigm is coming and idols aren't afraid to do what's best for them with the fear of being blacklisted by sm. i don't think they would take their solos elsewhere if sm was handling them well. there must be a good reason to leave for other companies, going as far as setting up a new whole company for themselves. in bp's case it's obvious, everyone knows that yg blocked work offers for the members, and they are huge now, so staying would be detrimental. if companies were stepping up and doing the best for an idol's solo work then they wouldn't leave, right? that's what sounds logical to me. also sm is so shady financially speaking lmao. maybe i don't pay taxes cuz i don't qualify for it, but i am trusting CBX knows what's best for them when they choose to leave. and if jaedo ever leaves with their solo work, i will know they are doing the best for themselves too cuz they know their reality better than we do.

Didn't I just say that staying with one's own company is not always the best solution? That both being in a big company and moving to a smaller company has its downsides? Where did I say that companies always do the best for their idols? Show me in my texts.

Lay was supported by LSM financially, he was given a company by him, plus Chinese market is a different from Korea thing. In the first place Lay left because of the Chinese ban on Korean companies and Korean idols. Lay had limited number of days he could leave his country. Do you know to what lengths Lay needs to go, how much to work, to stay relevant? Suju got their own Label SJ, but it was merged back to the main SM. BP members have the fame. They were approached by other companies and investors, them running their own companies for real is for PR. And we need time to see how well they will do. Though I agree, they will do better without YG.

TikTok fame is short-lived. While BoA is one of the richest woman among idols and will produce the upcoming SM gg.

I stated before that it is not always the right choice to stay with the company. I agree on that. However, fans like to say their bias needs to go all the time, with and without a reason for it. Changing a company is a big risk, a new beginning. And there are very few successful stories.

Just yesterday I watched a debut video of Yang Dongwha. I liked it. The video is good, the song as well, the concept. Apaprently, he was a winner of an idol-show and was supposed to debut in a group, but was evicted due to surfaces rumours about his behaviour in school. He changed companies. He was mistreated by his original company, he had the reason to start anew. He debuted. Good for him.

Now, back to Taeyong and JaeDo. Tae got two solos in a span of a year. With his own songs. Does he need to leave SM? JaeDo, a gay couple, got themselves a unit with only one additional member, Jaehyun can flirt with his bae openly without a break during their promotion. Both will get solos in 2024. Do they need to leave this year? Before enlisting and a break away from the public of 2 years?

SM is not just executives who steal money, it's personelle. Managers, choreographers, make up artists, songwriters and in-house producers like Kenzie and Deez - all those people who have seen neos grow up, who like them and go drinking with them, to whom neos send presents and go to their weddings, who can go an extra mile and write a personal song (Kenzie, MinGtion) or make BA ugly clothes presentable, fit to elevate the idol they like. It's a community. To uproot and go elsewhere is to leave most of them behind, start from scratch, waste years of earned advantage.

Ten recently said he doesn't know his schedule, he wakes up and goes where his manager tells him. You think it's because he is kept in the dark? Somehow Do knows his own schedule better than his own manager. No, it's because an idol has a ton of things to do, there is no room for other things like learning lore or itirenary.

Self-managing, being a CEO of one own's company sounds fancy, but what does it entail? Lay attened a business school, mind you. Where is the guarantee the financial guys you'll hire won't steal money from you? Or that the new producer will allow you creative freedom? Investors are the same, they want money, not art.

How many labels Jessi has changed?

It is known that right now SM is lacking personelle, it is in a transitional period. The dividion into centres, and tuning those centres will take time. Those, who can't wait or whom managers left to produce for newer groups, have reason to find a new team outside to manage their solo activities. Again, without breaking off of the awful SM completely. Kyuhyun was present on the last SMTown, what gives?

We don't know the future. SM can really change for the worse. However, currently it is far from the worst company to be in. Music wise the best among the biggest ones.

[undercityrezident]

So as I expected, Ash won today’s match, but I’m glad that Steven Stone gave Ash run for it. It would’ve been a bit disappointing if Ash wiped the floor with a veteran champion like that.

Poor Dracovish had a rough showing, but I think they’ve taken the unfortunate role of Ash’s comedic-relief ‘mon this season, so it’s not to be unexpected. It did also help to establish Steven’s battle cred as well, not that he really needed it to start with.

In terms of how I liked the battle, it had its ups and downs for me. Some of the battle felt a bit disjointed compared to the past ones, given inconsistency of number of hits and what would qualify is generally ineffective moves against one another’s pokemon leading into their respective KO’s. But in terms of drama, the battle was fairly well-paced. I did enjoy a lot of the clever ploys coming from Steven, especially with regards to his Cradily. That said, Ash always has some ridiculous strategy to pull out of his hat, and he certainly didn’t disappoint with regards to that trend in this battle. Electro-webbing Cradily’s vines was an especially brilliant touch.

I didn’t feel quite the hype in the final match-up with Mega Metagross vs. Pikachu that I felt in the final match-ups with the other matches. Yet, I had to admit I was leaning forward when watching and wondering how the hell Ash was going to pull off a win with Pikachu getting walloped. I knew the Z-Move was coming due to previews last week, and I figured as the battle wore on that it would have to be a widespread tactic in order to get that agile-as-all-hell Mega Metagross. That said, I did not anticipate the idea that you could openly manipulate the direction of that Z-move’s bolts. I was taken by as much surprise as Steven was by that. I suppose Z-moves have a 100% hit rate for a reason?

Overall, it’s not the best battle we’ve seen so far (that honour still goes to Cynthia versus Iris), but it was decent, and I’m hoping we’ll get a lot more tense and a lot more creative in further rounds with Ash. Maybe if we get battles involving more pokemon per round (maybe 4v4 or 5v5 in the semi-finals, and I’m sure the final round will be 6v6) then we’ll get more episodes dedicated to each battle, thus more screen-time for creative and deep battles. One can hope we can get something that will eventually top the magnificence of Ash v Paul in the Lily of the Valley Conference.

The battle aside, I had to say that the big stage center cameos of Harley and Drew aside, I liked that we got to see not one, but two of Ash’s opponents from the Hoenn League’s Ever Grande Conference: namely Morrison and Katie. They’re such small, odd cameos, but it goes to how deep they’re digging to grab characters from the old seasons. That really makes me happy, actually.

Also, Paul, don’t think we didn’t see that damn smirk when you saw Ash capitalizing on your training with him from a few episodes back.

But I think the best thing was how Delia and Professor Oak set up a damn television in the backyard for all Ash’s pokemon! That was heart-touching to say the least. And you had to love it when all his fire-types were up in arms celebrating when they saw Gengar use the move they’d taught them.

What I’m really hoping is that we’ll get to hear a bit more on the Alolan folks cheering from home for Ash in future rounds. They briefly mentioned Ash’s status as Alolan Champion, but this is actually something of an important point for me and why I’m... perhaps shockingly, given my history on this blog... actually fairly invested in Ash’s progress in this tournament.

While you all pick up your jaws off the floor, let me explain.

I’ve never been a big fan of “plot armour” or “protagonist power” in media, and I’ve tended to gravitate more to side-characters than to the bland, generalized characters that tend to spring up in the center spotlight of stories like this to capitalize on mass appeal factor. Ash has been better than most this for a good part of the series for me, but I won’t lie and say that I’ve gotten a bit bored with him a few times. Most often, my gripe with him has been his power-resets and forgetfulness of previous exploits and abilities, which I write off to... well, the writing in the series more than anything.

But the reason I’m actually invested in Ash this time is not just because of the hype in having him actually playing for a real, high-tiered position of recognition within the realm of pokemon battling, nor just because he’s getting to battle these massive, perhaps even titanic, figures in pokemon leagues across the world.

I think the biggest reason for my investiture in Ash now circles back to the fact that he’s now Champion of Alola. Ash has been largely competing for himself, his pokemon, and the urge to best a rival of some sort. But now, as evidenced by the recent episode in which he recently returned to Alola and participated in a Battle Royal in front of a crowd that truly has faith in him, Ash is actually not just representing his own hopes and dreams, but all of those in Alola for whom he has been named champion for.

There’s a special place in my heart for that most recent series in Alola, as well as the characters we met there, and it remains memorable for me for the fact that Ash took a major step forward in his battling career there in becoming champion. Because I can connect Ash’s success to that of Alola’s own through this tournament, I am finding myself more invested than ever in Ash’s presence and success in this tournament.

This is why I’m really hoping we’ll get to see more representation from Alolan characters in future cameos, and it’s also why I might be willing to actually go along with some of this protagonist storytelling bias than I’m usually willing to give when it comes to Ash’s hair-brained, and sometimes even implausible schemes in battles. Suspension of disbelief is a powerful thing sometimes, and for me at least, it’s better served and that much more potent when connected to something bigger than just that single protagonist character.

I just have to ask the writers one thing: please don’t try and have him do thunder armour again... I can only stretch that suspension of disbelief so far.

[adanseydivorce]

andrew nico and blue classic

Hi sorry I got to the asks for this so late this one took a long time, I actually realized I had the opportunity to post it on your birthday but I didn’t quite manage but anyway consider this a belated birthday present if my rambling tangents qualify as such to you <33

Blue Sargent

three facts about them from my personal headcanons: 1) her favorite musical is Wicked and she identified with Elphaba 2) I think she has some sensory issues which is why she’s so particular about certain textures of clothing, food etc. and I definitely like to read her as neurodivergent 3) I hc her as non-white in Maura’s side I especially like picturing her as desi which you could say is projection and you’d be right, but generally I think of her as a brown girl.

a reason they suck: her judgmental streak is real, and she’s very proud and yes these things together can influence her towards being a bit of a hypocrite.

a reason they are great: Idk how to pick just one thing I am infamously Not normal about this girl she remains my favorite ya book girl to this day.. But I really love how passionate Blue is and also how kind of self-possessed she is about her own feelings, she’s very in tune with her own individuality and what she desires out of life: seeing the world, exploring, finding ways to help make the world better, having her own path that she determines not a set destiny, wanting lasting meaningful relationships and friendships that are maybe more intense than is technically healthy etc. she searches for something more and doesn’t entirely know how to get there/what that path is but she’s intent on carving out that path for herself and finding that knowledge, and then the area she’s least in tune with herself about is like, romance and particularly the way to feel about Gansey in the first few books which I really like as a dichotomy ((and it’s part of why Bluesey reads like a lesbian narrative cough)), that passionate nature is also what allows her to be extremely loving and brave and creative and I generally love that about her. Also this is an unpopular opinion but the way she thinks and her personality does feel like a very real teenage girl, I think Maggie did a good job writing her voice in that department and that wasn’t ever a problem with how she wrote Blue the problem with how she wrote her was, as I say later, the fact that Maggie wasn’t interested in the follow-through of her arc/how Blue’s personality which was very fleshed out, would change/develop outside of happening to develop certain relationships. Oh I also love how curious she is I love character who constantly want to know what is up with everything which will continue to be a theme in the other asks … I’ll quit while I’m ahead here I love her but also really am due for a reread which is why this is coming out so incoherently.

a reason I relate to them: I relate a lot to her mindset of loving whimsical things but striving to be practical in my pursuit of whimsy, I also just relate to a lot of her personality (besides how brave/risk-taking she can be which is not me at all lmao) and thought processes she’s one of the chars I most identify with in fiction generally… and a lot of it can be tied to the fact we’re both 4w5’s tbh. I also was raised mainly by multiple maternal figures I strive to emulate and grew up not thinking well of male authority figures <3

(what I consider to be) the top tier otp/ot3 for that character: for otp it’s Bluesey obviously my parents who raised me… I really really love Blue x Noah too but it’s more elite tier. Imfor ot3 there are actually 3 options which I find really appealing I think Gansey/Blue/Noah Blue/Gansey/Henry and Blue/Gansey/Adam all have excellent ot3 potential but I’m going to go with the latter because it’s the messiest option and I like to have fun. Three incredibly fucked up bisexuals who were obsessed w each other in thematically fascinating ways.

five things that never happened to that character that I believe should have happened: 1. I loved the parts of Bllb that focused on Blue learning about her powers with Gwenllian and that dynamic as a vehicle for her becoming in tune with being a mirror/witch should have continued as a storyline in TRK the way Adam and Ronan’s abilities continued to be relevant to the story, the conclusion to the arc could’ve still been Blue learning about the Artemis-tree situation but i wanted more reflection from her on what these powers are going to mean for her going forward and not just “oh yeah I guess it makes sense I’m part tree” 2. Her arc towards becoming less judgmental shouldn’t have just been “I guess I need to not be so mean to rich white boys” I wish she had actually gotten to grapple with her mindsets about class and gender more, and obviously I adore her dynamics with the boys and the 300 Fox way ladies but I wanted her . 3) I love Maura but I kind of wish Blue had been allowed to be mad at her about disappearing at the end of TDT for longer after she had come back (her moments of anger before Maura gets back are incredible I love her interactions with Calla when they both are missing her too), especially since Bllb is when Persephone and Jesse die and the anticipation of Gansey’s loss are really building and getting to Blue so I think it would be really natural for her to double down on transferring those emotions to her mother who is safe for her to be mad at. 4) I do kind of like that Artemis himself wasn’t that relevant to Blue when he showed up lol, but I still think Blue should have gotten to actually know him and deal with some of her feelings about being abandoned by him that were definitely There in earlier books. She could get to let out her feelings and get to know him a little and then still feel unimpressed by him / that he’s not a real guardian figure to her the way Maura Calla and Jimmi are and Persephone was. That would work for me <3 5) Generally TRK failed to resolve what Blue was going to do with her future aside from the Bluesey/Sarchengsey of it all (both of which I love but come on) I haven’t read Greywaren yet but I am glad there was some lip service to that and it made decent sense for her char. (Also should be said that my last reread of the first two books was in 2019 so while I like to think of myself as a Blue expert still my memory of some things might not be that sharp.)

five people that character never fell in love with and why

1)Adam —- I actually do like Blue/Adam it’s

the type of pairing where hindsight made me appreciate it more and find it more interesting as it exists in the story. Blue not falling for Adam had multiple factors so it’s hard to pinpoint just one, part of it was definitely that for Blue liking Adam better than Gansey went hand in hand with the idea of her as someone who wasn’t bound to a specific fate, and that wasn’t fair to him (Adam also had reasons to fixate on Blue that weren’t fair to her but this isn’t about his side of things, even though that also added to creating a distance within their relationship which is part of why), so part of it is based on the circumstances around their relationship, also I don’t think necessarily that they’re incompatible romantically personality wise but they definitely both honed in on certain similarities between them and assumed that would mean perfect compatibility when that wasn’t the case. In a different storyline maybe they could’ve gotten there, within the timeline and structure of the story not really.

2)Noah —- Literally Noah said it himself it’s because he’s not alive… yet at the same time from what we know of Noah pre-death he didn’t sound like someone Blue would like much at all, so that makes the whole “I’d ask you out if I was alive.” “I’d say yes.” thing even more tragic, although Blue very much does mean it for the Noah that is right now if He could live.

3)Ronan — this is just on here because I needed more people lol I actually wasn’t sure who to put after Adam. But Blue could never be attracted to Ronan because she likes a particular flavor of fruity pathetic boys like she likes fruity nerdy and pathetic not fruity Ronan is fruity but isn’t the right kind of pathetic for her at all he’s too harsh and fiery, and similar to Blue herself but not in a way that attracts her at all.

4)Kavinsky — She hated him and would never interact with him willingly there’s really not much depth I can add here. Also the way he spoke to her in their one scene in tdt was disgusting the fact for a long time there were parts of the fandom that cared way more about him and the dream pack than Blue and the 300 fox way women Grrr

5)Helen — This is my crack pairing that I felt passionately about in the year 2013 she didn’t fall in love with Helen simply because she didn’t get the chance to. But I think she could’ve if they met like 5 years post series and Blue hadn’t met Gansey yet so.

Andrew Minyard

three facts about them from my personal headcanons: 1. He’s a fan of horror media specifically slasher films (also old movies in general but that’s canon from some of the things he’s referenced in dialogue) 2. Only half a headcanon/generally this is very based on the texts but I do think Nora is right about him being bipolar (something she says in the E.C. But it was a while ago so she used out dated terminology) and based on meta I’ve read from people more well-versed in the subject than myself and far more than Nora, I agree that he’s Bipolar II and has C-PTSD, and is also probably on the autism spectrum. 3. He says his favorite color is black but it is actually blue (like Neil’s eyes lol)

a reason they suck: I mean if I met him in real life I would definitely be bothered by how inflexible his judgements of the world and other people are and by his inclination for violence, but narratively I’m more than fine with all those things tbh.

a reason they are great: am going to refrain from writing an essay here and just mention a few qualities I really like about him: extreme loyalty and protectiveness towards his ‘people’, incredibly intelligent and perceptive in how he reads people and situations, always driven to seek knowledge as a means of controlling circumstances for those he cares about and himself but also just because he’s a nosy bitch, and then I have a hard time explaining some other things especially since you haven’t finished the series but I just think the way he works as a character is fascinating I’m obsessed with his brain. Thinking about him a lot also makes me miserable sometimes in a good way. I also think he’s one of the funniest characters ever. I’ll stop talking now he really contains multitudes to Me.

a reason I relate to them: honestly abandonment issues and emotional repression..Also like the way he always want to know everyone’s business but doesn’t actually like to talk to people (non-medicated) is a mood.

(what I consider to be) the top tier otp/ot3 for that character: Andreil and Kandrew I honestly can’t choose because Andreil is THEE ship and Kandrew is My ship obsession and I consider those two separate categories in a sense, my approach with Pynch and Adansey is similar tbh. And for ot3 Kandreil <33 very non-controversial.

five things that never happened to that character that I believe should have happened: 1) getting on proper meds suited to his actual diagnosis would be nice 2) I want him and Nicky to figure out new approaches in their relationship and generally work to have a better one 3) I think it would be cool if like Neil he later switched his major to something he actually was interested, especially like the idea of him as a film major or a psych major

five people that character never fell in love with and why

1)Roland — So this is a dynamic/character where I have one reaction based on information from the books + extra content (which is basically @ Roland get a job stay away from him!) , and Andrew’s pov of the dynamic is a bit different from mine so I’m focusing on this question from Andrew’s pov. I think Andrew liked Roland because he’s charming and easy to like and treated him like a peer not a kid (which is part of the problem) but it was a shallow kind of liking which was why Andrew saw Roland as a “safe” outlet to explore his sexuality, because there was no risk of him getting too attached which was safer to him emotionally and meant that when Roland tried to overstep his boundaries Andrew didn’t have an emotional weakness for it and could shut it down, and not a massive amount of trust existed but more trust than potentially he would have with other people. Also I kind of think that part of why he was drawn to (/vulnerable to) Roland specifically had something to do with Roland as someone so tied to Nicky, and while Nicky and Aaron were in getting closer and Andrew was placing himself in the protector-not-family role and also everything that happened with the court/meds Andrew would feel flattered / get a type of validation from being able to attract Roland and be chosen over Nicky in a sense, and get a kind of satisfaction successfully keeping it a secret. Honestly I think Roland is for Andrew what Wren is for Spencer in a way (which makes Nicky the Melissa technically), so that kind of itself explains why Andrew doesn’t love him.

2)Matt — I think that Andrew Does find Matt attractive (and is annoyed about it) esp in moments where Matt loses his cool more ex. when he’s picking a fight, is really protective etc. but he would never develop deeper feelings both because of the way they interact based on the structure of the team, the role Andrew played pre series in Matt going to rehab (I don’t remember if this is explained in book 1 or 2 so idk if you read about that yet) etc. and aside from all that Matt just has too conventional a view on morality and is just too close to normal for Andrew to ever be interested enough. However in different storylines pre and during the series or if they met when they were younger I could see them having a fling even if canon-wise it would be out of the question for both.

3)Jeremy — Other than the obvious that they haven’t had nearly enough contact, Andrew would just never be into someone that bubbly and nice they’d never be compatible, and unlike Matt I don’t even think Andrew sees or would under any circumstances see any sort of edge to Jeremy that could make him a bit compelling. And I think it’s vice versa too they don’t dislike each other (Jeremy doesn’t seem to dislike anyone) but they’re not for each other at all. There’s one place where this pairing could happen at all and it’s in the sex dreams yk Kevin has had about it Lolz.

4)Jean — again the thing about contact and then I think across the board in canon and any version of post canon timeline for Kevin and Neil centric reasons Andrew would always hate him. I’m unsure how I think they’d interact if they met outside the parameters of the series, in a Raven Andrew Au I do think Andrew and Jean would have been close while Andrew and Kevin would decidedly Not be close, I don’t really think Andrew would ever view Jean romantically in those circumstances though.

5)Seth — like with Kavinsky this is low hanging fruit Andrew hated him and would never interact with him willingly.

Nico Di Angelo

three facts about them from my personal headcanons: 1. Rick is incorrect about Nico and Reyna not spending time together post boo he’s just insane for that. Nico is constantly spending time at Camp Jupiter to hang out with his sister and his pseudo sister and his brother in law who he likes to scare half to death for fun imo 2. I think he’d really enjoy things like MBTI and astrology he likes sorting and categorizing things and being a nerd see: Mythomagic 3. In addition to his Aquarius sun he’s a Scorpio moon, not decided on his rising yet

a reason they suck: I was completely drawing a blank because I can’t think of anything I dislike about him but then I remembered the tsats excerpts so I guess just being cringe in those is his biggest crime to date. Like I could say the holding grudges thing but honestly I’m a Taurus I get it

a reason they are great: He’s so smart and knowledgable and resourceful and resilient and I love that he’s so powerful while constantly underestimated, he’s also just. He has a complicated moral compass which makes him interesting and I really like that, but fundamentally he’s very loving.

a reason I relate to them: tbh you can copy paste what I said for Andrew p much + additionally when rereading last year I did connect with the way his grief is constantly present in his character post end of ttc, a lot actually :/.

(what I consider to be) the top tier otp/ot3 for that character: I resent this a little but Jason/Nico is definitely the most appealing one to me based on canon content. And for ot3 I Was having fun last year with reimagining part of hoo as a Leo-Jason-Nico love triangle, and Valdangelo has so much untapped potential so definitely the three of them.

five things that never happened to that character that I believe should have happened: 1) for the fact that chb is prejudiced against him to be acknowledged and not dismissed, I’m okay with there being some grey area in terms of him isolating himself because of trauma and that also being a factor, but not him being blamed for the alienation he experiences which is territory canon gets into at times 2) his final scene with Percy in BOO should have been more impactful and less of a joke and we should have gotten a sense of how they’ll mend their friendship 3) what I said before about Reyna and Hazel being largely involved with him getting to feel at home at camp and him clearly visiting them a lot 4) I want it acknowledged that Hades and the Furies and maybe Persephone must have tutored him because he dropped out of school in 5th grade I want to get insight on that experience. Which I fully believe happened but not 100% sure Rick does so counting it 5) I really like the Dionysus therapy thing but Chiron should be made to feel ashamed for his passivity and letting Nico be homeless in pjo

five people that character never fell in love with and why

1)Leo — Rick was simply too much of a coward to let them interact and have the arc of figuring out how compatible they would be.

2)Jason — I think Nico would be resistant to the idea of letting himself *go there* emotionally with another “hero” archetype in the timeline of canon bcs of the Percy thing. I do believe he had some latent attraction to Jason (him comparing Will’s and Jason’s looks in BOO is… telling lmao) and ofc definitely cared for him but it would have taken a while for love-level feelings to develop, though i definitely think they could have since Nico is the opposite of Andrew in that sense that he likes nice heroic boys only lol, and they definitely have points of connection so plenty of potential there. In the timeline of canon there’s way more evidence of Jason having strong romantic feelings/actually being smitten re: Nico which like I said I think was ultimately a good thing that made the dynamic a stand out compared to the status quo of both chars other dynamics, and also just a lot more palatable to me personally since my relationship with Jason as a char is … complicated lol, and I definitely would have Strongly resented a dynamic where the reverse was true in introduction.

3)Frank — he’s dating Hazel and age probably other things too .

4)Apollo — Okay so he definitely had a crush on him in TTC I don’t want that to be true but it is… BOO restated it too in a way…anyway though he would never fall in love with Apollo he hates his actual cocky personality (he’s fond of Lester/Apollo too but it’s the way you’d be fond of a really smelly and badly behaved dog tbh).

5)Octavian — because Octavian’s a little bitch Nico doesn’t have a lot of standards (bcs of the abandonment issues) but he does have Some standards.

[dizzydispatch]

New PSAP, New Me

I was let go two weeks ago, and to be completely honest, I almost quit on dispatch entirely.

When Reg told me, "This job is hard; it's not for everyone," that felt like permission to fail. I didn't accept that. I didn't need permission to fail; I needed determination to succeed.

“Of course this job is hard," I thought. "And it’s not a job for just anyone. But hell, I’m not ‘just anyone.’ I’m ME. I’m intelligent and motivated and hardworking. I have my limitations, but they’re in my body, not my brain. My mind is capable of anything I put it to, as long as I don’t quit, don’t slack, don’t accept excuses for failure.” 

Seeing those thoughts written out, it sounds narcissistic. Like I think the world of myself, and couldn't imagine not being good at something. But really it's the opposite. I didn't tell myself that stuff because I believed it; I told myself that to try to make myself believe it, to keep myself moving forward no matter what. 

My whole life I've been mediocre. If I slacked, I'd fall behind, but if I worked really, really hard, I could achieve... mediocrity. And then Reg came along. They looked at me, and they said, "We think you just have what it takes to make it here." but when I look at my skills and my strengths, and then I look at what a good dispatcher should be, they all seem to line up. So I thought that maybe, just maybe, I could be good. 

More than anything, I think what I really wanted was to be exceptional. People at Reg always mentioned so-and-so trainee who never made it, and such-and-such who dropped out due to the pressure. And it made sense. Reg was like the Harvard of PSAPs. Only the best survived there, and almost everyone who did came from a background in dispatch already. I wanted, for once in my life, to qualify among the best, to set myself apart. 

The day that Regional told me that I was being let go, Gabe (more on him at a later date) was on his way out when I was on my way in. They gave me the news at the beginning of my shift, so we both wound up leaving around the same time after all. He found me in my car, staring glassily ahead.

He crawled into my front seat, not needing to be asked. For a while we just sat. And then I started to cry.

He told me something that, honestly, I didn't immediately take to heart, but that would stay with me forever all the same.

"You will not fail at being a dispatcher. I cannot promise what happens at Regional. But I can promise you that you will not fail at being a dispatcher at another PSAP."

The reason I didn't take it to heart immediately was because I didn't want to go to another PSAP. I wanted to succeed among the Navy SEALs of dispatch. I tried to explain this to him, and he told me: "Regional is intense, even for me. When I tell my single-PSAP dispatcher friends about it, they always say, I could never do that. Please don't think you can't be a 911 dispatcher just because you are struggling at Regional."

And maybe he was right, but I still felt like a failure. 

In a near-whisper, I said: "I just wanted to shine."

"Trust me," he promised, "You will. And when that day comes, I'll say I told you so." 

That was late October, and the day for him to make good on his promise came today, in the form of an email from the Dispatch Supervisor from a town adjacent to mine. 

Dizzy, It was great chatting with you today to review your resume and cover letter, and to learn more about you and the qualifications you would bring to our department. The interview panel met after you left, and we were all equally impressed with the caliber of applicant that you are, and believe that you will be a valuable addition to our team. For this reason, I would like to move forward with you in the hiring process. We are excited about the prospect of having you join our department and believe that your contributions will make a significant impact on our agency’s success and mission. We look forward to your positive response and the opportunity to work together.

I start in two weeks. 

When I texted Gabe to tell him the good news, he said exactly what I was expecting him to:

"This is the day I say I told you so. Congratulations, my friend."

I'm still worried that I won't make it, but Gabe's confidence in me, the enthusiasm of the supervisor upon meeting me, the warmth of the embrace of my new work community-- all of that gives me hope that maybe, there's still hope for me yet. Maybe I don't have to be exceptional to be good enough. And just maybe, with the right support, I really will be able to thrive here.

[donnabroadway]

Affirmative Action

Every few years conservatives dog whistle about how they're going to cancel affirmative action and someone, usually a white person, but this time it was an Asian man, who will seemingly was competitive, lacked a few things that set him apart. Also, like the white woman before him, aptly nicknamed Becky with the bad grades, after Black twitter found out she was average, at best, once University of Texas, and the Supreme Court, dropped her stats, he's being dragged on social media. The truth is more people are applying for college and that means college has become more competitive, especially since blacks, who were only being rejected due to race, now had the same opportunity to attend top institutions. The irony is that of all the lawsuits to be brought up against affirmative action, only one was successful and it wasn't because the blacks being let in were not qualified, it was because the man being denied admission was qualified and should have been let in as well. Has anyone stopped to think that maybe a higher percentage of blacks are being accepted because we are actually qualified and if they took away affirmative action and just accepted everyone based on qualifications, and not race or quota, that the same amount of blacks, maybe even more, would still get in because we were being denied due to race and not out lack of qualifications? Black people don't need affirmative action but rich kids need their parents to spend six figures to get them into USC or to buy a library to guarantee admission.

We don't need a special hand out or laws to make us qualify, we've been qualified. Affirmative Action and the civil rights act, Brown Vs. Board, was about getting us the opportunity and protection from angry and jealous white people who purposely impeded our progress with riots, laws, intimidation, suppression, and violence. We have always had the talented tenth, black elite, boule, and upper and middle class but they were tired of getting second hand treatment and their tax dollars going to fund the white institutions, schools, and infrastructure and whatever they had left, went to us or it was trickle down or we had to fund books, school repairs, supplies, and even schools out of pocket. We were tired. We wanted separate but equal to truly be equal. If our tax dollars were going to the bus system, like the white dollars, then we shouldn't have been relegated to a few rinky dink seats in the back or being forced to get off if a white person got on, in spite of the fact we paid our fare just like them and if we were too far from home and wanted to take another bus, we would have to pay again or hope a good Samaritan would pay our fare or let us ride for free. It wasn't fair and the growing black elite was tired. One of the first institutions to be desegregated in Baltimore was Baltimore Polytechnic Institution, an all boys school and because they didn't want to pay to create an equal program at Douglass or Dunbar, they let several black boys apply for admission and do you think the NAACP said "give me a year to find some boys and bring them up to par," no, they had more than enough qualified black students to fill the minimal spots they were given. Same with Little Rock. The students had to apply to get into that mediocre school and trust they were the best of the best. The students were handpicked and forced to go through a selection process by local leaders before their applications were even considered for submission to the school board, so these were the best of the best.

Let's just say we were smart enough to do their work and be in the background while they took credit for what we did but once we wanted to put our face on it and benefit from our accomplishments, we became problematic.

They're trying to send us back to the plantation. They have black faces spewing white talking points trying to convince us that we were better off before integration, that the civil rights movement destroyed our community and that white people aren't the problem. That is true depending on which side you were on. There were many black people, like Booker T Washington, who were able to vote and the black elite, in the north and other places, decided to stay out of "politics." They had a good life, they had good careers, they were educated, and they could go where the white men went. They didn't see the oppression from their high horse. The entire black upper and middle class weren't onboard because they were those who truly believed they pulled themselves up by the bootstraps and they didn't want to disrupt the balance or offend their white brethren.

[corbettoneil99]

How To Fix Xp Registry Problem?

The Notebook registry is unquestionably the main associated with various issues found for the PCs' operating system, like crashing, slow startup speed and screen freezes. Common solutions people use to aid their issues such to be a virus scanner or troubleshoot can't help you here. As well . must learn how to try it manually or with the aid of an unofficial software solution. The new-designed registry makes Windows 7 takes less memory and access files quicker. You may use a aomei backupper registry scanner to scan and wash it regularly to keep your computer fast. There is however one thing that you need to be alert - do not buy one when! If funds about the confidentiality of one's saved backups, you furthermore encrypt understanding. This is especially important if you be using any in the online backup options. It's also possible to compress data files with a data backup program, in order to fit large variety of data to the small backup space. Backup software likewise allow you to decide on exactly the amount data you need to backup, methods long are generally willing for them to direct. Research for that best free Registry Cleaner and download it. Remember the most esteemed registry fix products provide free scan option. Aid aomei backupper crack + keygen to conduct a no cost scan and thereby analyze the registry errors. Within a minute or two, you may have scan result on your desktop. For see any registry errors, then choose full version otherwise you will save funds at this moment. Contact handling. Even though aomei backupper license key 2022 do not use Outlook for email, I use it for calendar and contact management. aomei backupper crack had been using Plaxo a great online backup for my contacts, yet doesn't permit me to hold my notes about each contact. I've been using Airset now for months, that's why it regularly syncs my contacts (with notes) and my calendar due to their online solution. I found this a whole lot more convenient than trying making it a backup PST file to Outlook and then repeating that again when my primary computer is returned. Instead, I just make changes to contacts and my calendar on Airset, and I'll just sync that to Outlook tiny desktop. The first, and most painful part, is to get two hard drives in your security system. I usually buy my computers that way, but I've added hdd later. It isn't exorbitantly expensive though. Hard drives, even large hard drives, are reasonably priced these time. It's usually best to hold the two hard drives the same size (or you waste space in many form). What goes on like to put together the drives from gonna do it . manufacturer (but maybe I'm just anal). I say painful, because you, or someone may have to open open your PC and put a second drive in if doesn't already have one. Prone to don't feel qualified you want to do this, check with your nearest PC secure. Most will do it for you, for a fee, and free you actually buy challenging disk presently there. They may even carry out the next step which through using set along the mirror. Most registry repair software offers a free of charge scan utility that you can use to look at your registry for errors. The software, following on from the scan is completed, will spit you back a listing of items found in which you can review prior in order to make any fluctuations. The best practice to perform Xp Registry Repair is through a software program that are capable of doing a deep scan come across broken and corrupted records. The software will then let you delete these files, create backups, and undo mistakes you may need made the actual repair. It's best to check the actual program complete to ensure it is reputable. If you can not wish to utilize a program for Windows XP Registry Repair, it can be executed on your own, nevertheless the procedure could be tricky. I would personally only recommend you attempt it if you are an IT professional who is the knowledge to accomplish the repair competently.

[touringcook]

It's starting to look a lot like Christmas

With Christmas fast approaching my thoughts turned towards dinner on the big day.I was recently asked how I cook my turkey to get moist, succulent meat, and how to get super crispy roast potatoes with a fluffy middle. So I set about writing it all down, and I thought I would share it with you here. Disclosure: some of the links on this site are affiliate links. This means that at no additional cost to you I may earn a small commission if you click through and make a purchase. In addition, as an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.

Turkey

If it's frozen, make sure you defrost it thoroughly before cooking. This may take several days in the fridge so make sure you allow enough time. Do check that the cavity is empty - we had a friend whose turkey was still partially frozen on Christmas day due to a bag of still frozen giblets inside. Remove from the fridge about an hour before preparing it for the oven. Cook at 170C in a fan oven, or 190C in a normal oven for 15 minutes per pound plus 15 minutesInternal temperature of 75C on thickest part of the meat means it is cooked. Preferably use a meat thermometer.

Stuff the Cavity

Put aromatics in the cavity - onion, garlic, lemon, celery, herbs, seasoning - whatever are your favourites.Put stuffing in the neck cavity, under the skin and secure with skewers. Sausage meat stuffing will have a good fat content and will help keep the breast meat moist. Again, use whatever is your favourite flavour. You can use plain sausage meat and add your own flavours or buy flavoured sausages and just remove the skins.

Turkey ready for the oven

Butter Me Up

Smear the whole bird with seasoned butter, mostly under the skin particularly on the breast, between the skin and the meat. Gently ease your fingers between the skin and the meat, trying not to tear the skin. A little butter and seasoning on the outside will help crisp up the skin. 

Christmas dinner motorhome style - sprouts stir fried with bacon, onion and garlic

Christmas Dinner motorhome style

Christmas Dinner motorhome style

Christmas Dinner motorhome style

Christmas Dinner motorhome style Previous Next

Let Me Rest

Most important of all - rest after cooking for 30 minutes. This is when the cooking juices are absorbed back into the meat and make it juicy. Just cover loosely with foil and leave it somewhere warm - next to the oven for example.

Roast Potatoes

Boil Them

Boil potatoes until they just started to break up a little on the outside. You may lose a few potatoes preparing them this way so start with more than you think you need.Drain in a colander and allow to steam dry.

Boiling potatoes

Seasoned potatoes

Seasoning

Pre-Heat oil in oven tray.Return the potatoes to the empty pan you just boiled them in. Add seasoning. I use plenty of salt and pepper, plus onion salt, garlic granules and fresh rosemary, but you can use whatever are your favourites. If you're feeling decadent add a knob of butter too.

Shake Shake Shake

Give a really good shake. You want the potatoes to have a coating of the broken up cooked potatoes all over them.Tip the whole lot into the oven tray and put them in the oven.

Potatoes ready for the oven

Potatoes ready for the oven

Oven Time

Turn after 15-20 minutes and return to the oven. Turn again after another 15-20 minutes. Return to the oven for about 20 minutes until golden and crispy.Season with sea salt before serving.

Pigs in Blankets

Mozzarella stuffed pigs in blankets.....a different idea for your Christmas table maybe?Simply make a slot in the sausage and put some Mozzarella in there before you wrap it in bacon.Cook as normal.

Previous Next Have a very merry Christmas.If there is anything else you would like me to cover please let me know.Happy Motorhoming.

Hope You Enjoy!

Please leave us a comment! Read the full article

[wri0thesley]

A Well Rounded Education (1): Suspension (Fem!Reader x Toji Fushiguro, 5k)

series synopsis: You are a teacher’s aid to teacher Gojo Satoru, training to be able to take over your own class next year by shadowing and helping him out. Gojo does not make things easy for anybody.

chapter synopsis: One of your favourite students has been suspended for fighting, and Gojo has palmed off the meeting with his guardian to go through all of the paperwork and facts and conditions on you. “Don’t worry,” Gojo says. “It’ll be Megumi’s sister, she always takes care of this kind of stuff!”. Gojo is wrong.

NSFW. AFAB reader, fem pronouns. dom/sub dynamics, light fearplay and predator/prey elements. piv sex.

(a well rounded education m.list and navigation)

1.

“I’ve got all these other parents to deal with,” Gojo whines at you, pushing the papers into your hands. “And I hate paperwork, and I don’t have time to meet with Megumi’s family today – hell, if it were up to me, the kid wouldn’t even be suspended! Those guys had it coming!”

Gojo is not a very good teacher. Both of you know that – no matter how justified – violence never solves violence. Gojo, you think, would let these kids fight it out in an arena instead of solving things like an adult. You heave a large sigh as you look down at the papers detailing Megumi Fushiguro’s three-day suspension for fighting during school hours.

You’d seen Megumi before he’d gone home. He hadn’t had so much as a scratch on him; his face set in a frown, his arms crossed, his eyes downcast. You’d sighed at him and asked him if he was alright, and he’d shrugged.

He’s not a very talkative boy at the best of times, and you suppose that the suspension and the fight and the mini uproar it had caused in the school aren’t helping be any more verbose. You’d said goodbye to him and said that you hoped he thought about what had transpired today, your heart aching a little bit that you couldn’t be any more help to him.

You’d seen the three boys Megumi had got into a fight with, too. They had not gotten off so scot-free – they were bleeding noses, scraped cheeks, bruised eyes. At the very least, you don’t think any of them will get on Megumi’s wrong side again.

Gojo has to meet with all three of their parents tonight to give them the full story of why their children are so roughed up and what’s being done about it; a position that’s been doled out to him, you’re sure, because Principal Masamichi blames him for the incident and is punishing him. You can’t deny that seeing Gojo actually get punished for something is nice, but--

“Won’t they be mad to see me instead of you?” You ask him, biting your lip. “I mean . . . you’re his teacher. I’m just your aid.”

“Oh,” Gojo’s eyebrows rise behind his glasses. “No, it’ll be Megumi’s sister who’ll come, she’s a sweetheart! She’ll nod at you and say mournfully that she’ll talk to him and you’ll give her the paperwork, and that’s all – job done! Honestly, if I could palm this off on you and talk to Tsumiki instead, I’d do it in a heartbeat--”

“This is your job,” you tell him, exasperated, and he laughs wide and open. You’re not really supposed to get like this with him – if he were any other teacher, you’re sure that the exasperation and sighing and half-snapping you do would have had you thrown out of their class – but Gojo treats your irritation with him as if it’s the funniest thing that has ever happened. “You’re supposed to be good at dealing with this kind of thing!”

He shrugs.

“You’ll be fine!” He tells you, again. “Honestly, this isn’t the first time this has happened with Megumi and it won’t be the last. That kid’s got a right hook that could knock out an elephant!”

You do not ask him how he knows this. Asking too many questions of Gojo is always flirting with danger; you never know when his mouth will flash into a grin and you’ll suddenly be barraged with a flood of words and stories that don’t quite make sense and never seem to have a concrete end. But you can’t resist one last question – just in case it comes up. After all, it seems that Gojo has spoken to Tsumiki enough times for him to at least kind of know her--

“His sister?”

Gojo looks at you, and for a moment the shroud of capricious energy lifts from him, and he seems entirely serious. You’ve noticed this particular change in him only a few times – and often, those times have been about the more difficult backstories of students.

“His father isn’t around very often,” he says, eventually. “He’s some kind of something or other, Megumi never really says, but whatever he does, there’s a lot of travelling involved. Tsumiki’s his older sister – she’s twenty one, and she’s been more of a parent to him than it seems like his dad has.”

No wonder Megumi always seems suspicious and tired of Gojo. Something about his flighty nature probably strokes the back of Megumi’s psyche, where annoyances about an absent father are kept. You sigh, turning away and shaking your head to rid yourself of the idea of psychoanalysing the students.

“Alright,” you say wearily. “I’ll talk to Tsumiki.”

2.

You’re nervous as you set up for the meeting. You know Gojo had said that this would be easy, that Tsumiki was very sweet and would probably apologise to you for Megumi being a problem – but still! This is the first time you’ve ever met any of your students’ guardian figures in any capacity. You feel kind of bad that it had to be for this kind of news, actually – ordinarily, you like Megumi a lot. He’s very intense and serious and clever, and you think that he has a bright future ahead of him when the trials of being a twelve year old boy finally are over – but this meeting isn’t for saying things like that. This meeting is for giving details of the three day suspension that Megumi has gotten for – you check the paperwork again – fighting three boys by himself on one of the sports courts, making them bleed and . . . breaking one of their arms? No wonder Gojo had seemed so miserable at the thought of meeting with the victims’ parents.

You sigh, running a hand through your hair, making sure that it still sits as neatly as you’d arranged it that morning. You check the clock to see you still have two minutes before anyone is due – you discreetly check your lipstick in a compact mirror (yesterday you’d had it on your teeth and you hadn’t realised until Mai had pointed it out with a laugh in her voice), smooth out your pencil skirt, tug at your stockings to make sure they’re pulled up and not wrinkling about your ankles . . .

And then, you wait.

The clock is straight across from you, so you’re able to see as Tsumiki is five minutes late, and then ten minutes late, and then fifteen. The tick-tock echoes in the room as your leg bounces against the floor, anxiety making you want to gnaw all of the carefully applied lipstick off of your mouth. From what Gojo had said, this doesn’t sound like Tsumiki at all – you’re just about to give up and pack all of your things away, figuring maybe she’d called into the office to say she couldn’t make it and telling you had been neglected, when the door slams open.

You rush to your feet, your sensible heels clacking on the ground.

“Miss Fushi--”

Your voice peters away.

The person stood in the doorway is, you’re certain, absolutely not Tsumiki Fushiguro.

For one thing, it’s a man. For another thing . . . well. You’re not entirely sure that a man with that expression on his face would ever be described to anyone as a ‘sweetheart’. Your frightened eyes linger on him for another moment, really taking in the broad shoulders and the muscles and the hair falling over his face, the dark, green eyes that are glaring at you like you’ve interrupted something very important. There’s a scar by his mouth that you also do your best not to stare at, just in the same way you avoid staring at how the form-fitting t-shirt he’s wearing clings to a muscled abdomen.

“It’s Mr, actually,” he says, which seems absurd in the face of him, standing there. He raises one eyebrow at you. “You were expecting my daughter, right?”

(You don’t know it, but Toji Fushiguro has gotten a read on you in less than a moment. He’s seen the wide eyes and the pretty mouth and the neatly appointed outfit, the pencil tucked behind your ear, the slightest tremble faced with his imposing presence – the fear as you’d seen the scar and the smoulder and the body. You’re adorable.)

“I . . . uuh--” Your cheeks are hot. You nod, weakly, and he walks into the room proper, the door swinging shut behind him with a deafening click. There’s danger in every one of this man’s movements, like a wolf who has finally cornered a little rabbit. You are feeling inexorably like prey, at this moment in time.

“I was expecting a man,” he says, shrugging. He sits at the chair in front of Gojo’s desk, pulled up just for him. He looks huge in the classroom; his shoulders too wide, his biceps bulging from the sleeve of the shirt. You don’t think this man was intending to be in a school classroom right now. “I guess you’re not Mr Gojo, huh? Gotta say,” he shoots you a grin that’s dangerous, everything about him is threatening. “I much prefer this development.”

“Oh,” you’re blustering, and it’s so cute. You sit back down in the chair with a quiet displacement of air, agitation in your fingers as you rake through the papers on the desk. Said desk is incredibly messy; Toji doesn’t think it’s yours. He ought to feel mad that they’ve palmed him off on some little assistant who’s probably not even fully qualified yet – instead, he’s watching your hands trembling and your teeth nibbling on your pretty mouth. “Y-yes, G-Gojo’s dealing with the parents of the other party--”

“My kid got into a fight, yeah?” He asks. “Decked ‘em pretty good, from what I heard.” You wince at his words, and that’s cute too.

“Megumi’s a good boy,” you say. “He’s just . . . got his own sense of justice, I think.” You look down at the papers, and your eyes seem to focus, back in a more comforting zone. “He’s been suspended for three days, and when he comes back, he’s on probation.”

“What’s that mean for him?” Toji asks, promptly, though something about the way he says it suggests to you he doesn’t really care. There’s a lightness, an airiness in his tone that sets you all off-kilter.

“It just means we’ll probably keep an especial eye on him. He’ll get a report that’ll need signing off on at the end of every period, someone will check up on it--” You see one of Gojo’s scrawled notes in the margin of the paperwork. You wince. “I’ll be in charge of it, actually. Making sure everyone’s happy with his behaviour for a few weeks--”

“How old are you, sweetheart?”

The question makes you jump. You’re like a doe in headlights, looking up at him. You blink slowly.

“I—I don’t think that’s an appropriate question, Mr Fushiguro,” you say, prim. That’s cute, too. He likes breaking prim and proper things like you. “I’m—I’m doing my training. I’m working as an aid here for a year, and then I’ll be qualified to be in charge of my own class.” There’s a hint of pride in your words, there.

“Toji,” he says. “That’s my name. You haven’t gotta call me ‘Mr Fushiguro’. I’m not tryna’ be pushy,” but he’s inched forward. His elbows are resting on Gojo’s desk, in front of you – he rests his chin on his folded hands, sharp eyes regarding you as if you’re something he wants to devour. “Y’just look tense.”

“This is the first time I’ve met a student’s parent,” you admit, though the minute it’s left your mouth you’re regretting it. Like you’re admitting to some kind of weakness. This close to him, you can see there’s a dark red stain on one of his wrists, like dried blood. Your stomach is tying itself in knots. It’s not helping that his forearms are so big, ridged with muscle.

“That so?” His eyes gleam. “What d’ya think of me?”

You don’t actually need to answer him. He can see it in the way your eyes keep nervously skimming over him. The way your lips are shining in the light. The bob of your throat as you swallow.

“Mr Fushiguro--”

“I told you to call me Toji,” his voice is almost mocking. You watch him lean over the table like you’re somewhere far away from the action – watch his hand reach out and cup your face, calloused thumb brushing your cheek, like you’re a ghost in the corner of the room. His palms feel like they’re burning hot. “You’re tremblin’, little lamb.”

You had thought you’d felt like a rabbit – shy, ready to run at any moment. But the moment his hand is on you, you’re docile – too scared to scamper away. You suppose you are like a lamb, staring a wolf straight on in the face, too stupid or too pliant to use your common sense and run.

“I . . . I shouldn’t,” you say, voice trembling just as much as the rest of you. Toji’s smirk hasn’t left his face. You’re saying you shouldn’t, but he just bets if he reached further down and unbuttoned your blouse, your nipples would pebble for him – he just bets there’s a wet stain on your underwear, right now. He can always tell when someone’s turned on by the idea of playing with fire.

“I wouldn’t mind spendin’ a few weeks with you in charge of me,” he muses, and then chuckles humourlessly, correcting himself. “Sorry. Lemme rephrase that. I’d rather be in charge of you, but--”

Oh, he sees that. The little flash in your eyes, an imperceptible contract of your shoulders. If you weren’t behind the desk, he bets he’d have seen your thighs press together too. Girls like you are just so fucking predictable, and he loves it every single time. There’s just something that’s so much fun about breaking them – making them submit, admit that him being so close with the scent of something-that-might-be-death clinging to him turns them on like nothing else. Your attempts at being haughty and polite and proud have just made the stirring between his thighs harder to ignore. You’re such a cute, neat, demure little thing – by the end of this meeting, he’s going to have his way with you, you bet.

“M-Mr Fushiguro,” you say, trying to wrest back control of yourself – honestly, he’s pissed you aren’t listening to him, but the title’s kind of endearing. You’re trying so hard! Pity you’re going to lose all of your manners when you’re bent over this desk with his cock inside you. You haven’t even moved your face away from his hand. “I-I have to give you these papers.”

He stands up, pulling his own touch away from your cheek. Stretches. Your eyes are drawn to the brief expanse of his stomach, just above his trousers – the dark line of hair leading down to . . . Oh, God. You shouldn’t have thought about that. The grin on his face is cocky, and you know that he knows you were looking.

“I’m just gonna throw ‘em in the trash, sweetheart,” he says to you. “Now. Let’s talk about the elephant in the room, yeah?” He steps closer to you. You totter to your feet, half-unsure, half driven by the low ache between your legs and the thrum of desire that’s been reverberating through you since the moment he’d carelessly thrown out how much happier he was to see you than Gojo. You have to tilt your head up a little when he comes closer. You’d thought you realised how massive he was when he’d walked through the door, but that’s nothing compared to how his size seems to dwarf you. Every unkind thought you’ve ever had about your body or your face seems to have gone out of the window as his heated green gaze hungrily drinks you in. You know it’s the stare of some predator who’s going to devour you, and you still feel transformed. Your breath catches in your throat as his hand idly comes to the top of your blouse buttons, a finger brushing the place in your throat where your pulse is beating its unsteady rhythm.

“Whaddya say, little lamb?” He grins down at you. “Gonna let yourself be caught by the big bad wolf?”

You’re supposed to be telling this man about his son’s misbehaviour, giving him all of the paperwork that Gojo had thrust at you, getting him to say he’ll talk to his kid and try and make sure that it won’t happen again. You shouldn’t be tipping your head back further, letting his fingertips lodge dangerously in the hollow of your throat, flirting with the place where your windpipe is. You shouldn’t be breathing out, all of your pretty prissiness and good morals and pride disappearing where you stand in the face of one of your students’ really hot dad.

“Yes,” you breathe.

And Toji wastes no time.

3.

He doesn’t even bother unbuttoning your blouse; just drags his hand down, and the buttons pop off, scattering on the floor. You gasp at the show of strength, and Toji is still grinning, clearly enjoying that you’re admiring him. His hand pulls at the fabric, until your breasts are fair falling out of it, the blouse wrestles off your skin.

“You’re wearin’ something like this at work?” He asks you, giving a tug to the gore of your bra. You hadn’t done enough washing this week, and the one you’re wearing is all filmy white lace. “Almost like you knew I was comin’ huh?” His grin is crooked. You tremble as you reach behind you, undoing the clasp – and for that, you get a murmur of ‘good girl’ that has your knees turning to jelly.

He whistles as the bra drops from you, his gaze admiring. He takes in the spill of your breasts, the little peaks of your nipples. He takes handfuls of them, squeezing them in his big hands, his fingertips digging in so painfully you can imagine that you’ll have bruises in the shape of his fingers tomorrow. The idea doesn’t disgust you.

He lowers his head to kiss you. He’s not gentle with you for a moment – his teeth immediately nip at your bottom lip, kissing you hungrily like you’re the first taste of sugar for a man who’s lived on nothing but bread for months. His tongue licks at your lips, begging entrance – dancing against your own when you helplessly open those same lips, demanding in the exact same way Toji is.

He pinches your nipple between thumb and forefinger, delighting in how quickly the bud hardens. He rolls it between them, toying with it, enjoying the soft noises you make that get caught in his mouth. If he wasn’t kissing you, he thinks, you’d be bleating like a lamb right now. Huffing and whimpering. When he finally gets his cock in you, he’ll have to remember to clap a hand over your mouth so you don’t attract too much attention.

Your other nipple is given the same treatment, hot lightning bolts of pleasure ricocheting from the touch of Toji’s calloused fingers to the spot between your legs. You’re grateful for how solid Toji is – if he were any less so, you’re sure you’d be buckling over where you stand.

He pulls back with a final, marking nip to your lower lip, almost hard enough to make you bleed. You whine, and a dark chuckle spills out of his lips in response.

“Toji,” you whimper as he pulls away. You miss the feel of his body pressed against yours like a physical ache. His hands encircle your thighs, pushing you up onto the edge of Gojo’s desk, clever fingers already pushing your tight pencil skirt up so it’s bunched around your waist.

He kind of misses ‘Mr Fushiguro’ now it’s gone, but the sight of your stockings digging into your thighs soon chases the thought from his mind. He guesses your skirt is more than long and tight enough to make sure nobody gets a glimpse, but oh . . . that you’d be walking around all day, like that, with nobody to fuck you silly--

He can’t help but let his hands knead the soft skin, the flesh, his thumbs imprinting so hard in the plush that you squirm. He’s pressing your thighs apart, now – revealing the modest underwear, the soaking wet patch where he can see the outline of your plump labia lips.

With your legs spread, he can smell how turned on you are. Oh, yeah – he knows your type, alright.

“Ain’t you cute?” He says, chuckling. “You really want me to do you over this desk?”

“You can’t leave me like this--” Your voice is reedy, breathy, almost petulant – at another time, he’d make you beg for it. He’d take his time over you. But although the idea of being caught fucking the cute little teacher’s aid is briefly appealing, he doesn’t really want to make a whole load of trouble for himself when his cock is practically begging to be sheathed inside your wet holes. “Please--”

It’s the please that does it. It’s always the ‘please’ that does it for Toji. He chuckles, smirks, crooked grin – all of it feels like it’s mixing together in your mind, your throat very dry as nothing seems to matter right now except the fact that your sex is practically pulsing with how empty it is, and you think that the hot hard stiffness pressing against your thighs would really help alleviate some of that.

“Aww,” he says, fiddling with his zip and underwear, grabbing his cock and giving it a cursory pump just so you can admire the sheer size of him. “Don’t worry, little lamb. I’ll give ya what you need.”

He gets what he wants. Your eyes, as big and dark as the eyes of a doe – the soft choke of breath as you get to see the size of it, so big his own fingertips don’t quite meet. It’s the kind of cock that could ruin you for somebody else – and you’ve had sex before, of course, but you’ve never taken anything quite like that--

“That’s cute,” Toji murmurs, pressing forward, nestling his slick cock-head between your soaking wet thighs. “Wish you could have seen what a picture your face made just then. Afraid I’m gonna tear you in two?”

He might – he might, you think. But you pout at him and Toji’s cock throbs, as he glides the slick glans through the mess of your arousal, wetting himself even further. Your breath hitches, your hips doing a cute little jerk as it brushes your swollen clit. He can’t help himself but swirl the head over it some more, making your breath catch and whine, bleating like a little lamb--

He sinks his hips forward, and your fingers flex on the edge of the desk, knuckles white, at the relentless sear of his cock driving you open. You feel so stretched out, and he’s barely a third of the way in – he can’t help but watch your expression. He always likes to see someone the first time they’re impaled on his cock – the glassy eyes, slack jaw, the pleasure-cum-pain in their faces. He wants to take a picture of you and keep it in his wallet so he can pump one out to the sight of you when he’s on business trips and too busy to go out and find himself a hole to fuck.

“How’s that feel?” He asks you, so soft and low that you barely catch it. Another slow inch. He lets you feel every ridge, every vein, every bump of his shaft. You can hear your heartbeat in your ears.

“F-full—” you gasp.

“I bet,” Toji replies – and then, he bottoms out inside you. His eyes look down to where the two of you are joined; the slick fluid leaking out of you, all heat and needy. “You fit me like a glove.”

Your cheeks heat at the compliment, at the lewd way he’s looking at your spread open cunt – the way your hole is fluttering around him, the peeking pearl of your clit. He’s studying you like he wants to learn you by heart.

“Head’s up,” he says. “I’m gonna fuck you now.”

You’re about to open your mouth, and ask him what he’s doing right at that moment if he hasn’t started fucking you yet – but then, he’s dragged almost the entire length of his cock out of you in one savage thrust and is immediately spearing it back into you, his pace brutal. Your eyes roll to the back of your head, your back hitting the solid, flat surface of Gojo’s desk so that you’re flat out with your thighs wrapped around Toji’s hips.

If he weren’t so entranced by the feel of your walls fluttering around him, trying to suck him in further and deeper, so tight that you’re basically a vice, he’d grab you by your hair and force you to stay seated whilst he fucked you. But right now, you feel so good that all he can think about is his own release. The wet sounds of his cock gliding in and out of you, the squelch of your arousal and slick making every pump easier and easier. You feel so good. You’re tighter than he even imagined you could be, so good that he kind of wants to take you home and have you take up permanent residence in his bed.

You’re moaning, your back arching with every one of his thrusts – taking it admirably. There’s pain in your moans, yes – he supposes he could have prepared you better, had you come on his fingers a couple of times, if time were not of the essence – but they’re the pained moans of someone who likes to be hurt a little bit.

With every rock of his cock inside of you, he hits some new spot that you’ve never had stoked before, makes the heat and need inside of you swim just a little bit closer to the forefront. You don’t even notice you’re moaning and whining until a big hand slaps over your mouth, rough, hot palm against your lips, smearing your lipstick.

“You’re gonna be a good girl and stay quiet,” Toji says to you, through those savage thrusts of his cock inside of you. “You don’t want your . . . your fuckin’ . . . anyone walkin’ in on you being railed by your student’s dad, do you?” You shake your head, but he feels the throb of your cunt around his cock, the way your walls contract, and he adds it to the store of things he’s learning about you. Always the quiet ones, right? Always the proper ones who look as though they’ve never even seen a cock--

The feel of him inside you is absolutely dizzying, so much and so full that you can no longer think. His cock batters against a certain place in your channel, a textured wall – and before you know it, everything is going dizzy and black and white like exploding fireworks, your chest bursting into heat, your inner walls getting so tight around Toji as you come that he thinks you’ll be the one to fucking break him.

Oh, you’re adorable, creaming on his cock – the slick gush of your arousal around him, the dreamy cast in your eye, the fact he can feel you drooling against his palm. He increases the speed of his own thrusts, chasing his release through the weak aftershocks and smaller pulses of you around him, through the over-sensitive squirming of your cute little cunt, the fact that tears are pooling in your eyes at how much everything is suddenly feeling--

He groans and the hand still clinging to your thigh is suddenly pressing so hard you think he’ll snap your bone, ragged breath;

“Fu—fuuuck, sweetheart, you’re gonna take it all, that’s right, good girl--” in between belaboured, ragged pumps, his cock twitching as he manages to pull out at the last moment and his release spills all over your thighs, luridly glistening wet in the overhead fluorescent lights.

That’s another moment he’d take a picture of, if he could.

He’s not the kind of man who waits around. He gives himself ten seconds, to catch his breath, to admire your plush thighs painted with his come, before he’s tucking himself back into his trousers and zipping zippers and doing buttons. He shoves his hands into his pockets, bouncing on the balls of his feet for a second – double checking he’s left nothing of his in the classroom.

Yep. All clear.

He turns to leave, air of cocky confidence back – you only just see the shifting muscles in his back as he turns to go, leaving you where you are. You’re lucky he’s so tall, or you’d probably barely have seen him in front of the door frame (you didn’t even lock the door, anyone could have walked in at any time! You don’t even want to know what Gojo would say if he’d walked in to his aid being fucked like a slut across his desk).

“W-wait,” you say, weakly, still sprawled over the desk with his come cooling on your thighs. You manage to prop yourself up on your elbows, but your entire body feels like it’s just taken a battering. He takes a look back at you from the door, dragging a big hand through his hair, his crooked grin still on his face. You look so pretty like that – all fucked out and messy, the shine taken off of you. “T-the paperwork--”

You’re not sure where said paperwork is. Underneath you, maybe? You hope it didn’t get soaked.

“Told ya’,” he says, dismissively. “I’m just gonna throw it in the trash. Thanks for the fun, sweetheart. See y’around, huh? I should do stuff for the kid’s academic career more often.”

The door slams shut behind him.

[keilemlucent]

long days for bad people

(r18+)

hawks | takami keigo x reader

ao3

word count: ~6k

Being a prized, adored possession was far better than you thought it would be.

warnings: light daddy kink (no age play, just the name in mostly jest), spit kink, crying kink, degradation, brief descriptions of blood + violence, kidnapping (consensual?? read a/n), brat taming, light sadomasochism, mind break, praise kink

------

here it is, mafia au, villain hawks, dom, brat tamer, soft(?!) hawks. what more could you want? 

there’s briefly described kidnapping at the beginning of the fic but it is reiterated throughout that this is consensual! no yandere/stockholm stuff in this fic. 

i’ve been working on this one for a while and i’m happy to finally share it. hope y’all enjoy!!

||||||||||||||||||||

You shouldn’t have fucked around with the League.

God, it was common knowledge in the parts of town and circles you inhabited. Of all criminal syndicates, mobs, to fuck with, the League wasn’t one of them. They were known for their complete cruelty and violent delights. The League had such a reputation due to the fact that they openly left bodies carved up and burnt as they pleased.

But, you were a fucking idiot and got involved anyways.

It was a small loan, Giran almost seemed to scoff when he gave you the cash. You and your almost-stranger of a roommate were just very late on some bills and were going to lose a lot of material items if you didn’t scrounge up at least two paychecks in about three days. 

You swallowed your pride and took the first and easiest loan you could get. That just happened to be with gap-toothed, wide-grinning Giran of the League. He, you knew from what you’d heard, was somewhat fair in matters like yours. 

You had two weeks to pay him back.

...

You didn’t make it in time.

You were close to the amount, notably. You scrounged and clawed your way into getting the cash back. You weren’t much of a pickpocket, but you snagged some odd jobs around the apartment building that you and your roommate were still fortunate enough to keep a room in.

After one particular job, a nasty carpentry gig that you weren’t qualified for, you returned home tired and worn.

Sure, you were a day late on payment. But with this last gig, you were so close. The League would have to pity two, stupid, stupid young girls?

They didn’t, you realized, as you stepped into your apartment.

Your roommate's slain corpse was laying over the arm of your cheap couch, eyes vacant and mouth dripping blood onto the old beige carpet.

You dropped to your knees, horrified and completely stunned.

“You should’ve known better,” it was a hum from across the room, from a figure you didn’t even know was in the room until then. “Really, you’d expect folks to be smarter.”

Your mouth dried as the figure moved from the nighttime shadows, flashing a dazzling smile and ruffling crimson wings.

Hawks.

You’d heard of him, everyone had. Terrifying, fast, precise, and cutthroat. He took orders and didn’t ask questions other than snark. He talked too much, fucked too much. 

“W-wait,” You didn't know why you were pleading, but you had to try, right? “I’m so close, wait—”

Hawks sauntered up to you wielding one of his feather blades, the red of blood mixing with the filaments of his feathers.

He crouched down in front of you, tsking, “I don’t like begging, angel. I’ll make this quick for you. Your friend there?”

Hawks jerked his finger behind to your dead roommate.

“She fought, pleaded, begged, all that normal shit I don’t like hearing when shitheads like you two don’t make payday,” his voice was slow, talking about death like some casual thing. “I’ll make this nice and fast if you don’t run your mouth anymore, how about that?”

You swallowed, nodding.

The small percentage of your brain that was fully functioning figured dying quickly was a much better way to go than whatever the hell had happened to your roommate. There was far too much blood for that to be quick.

Hawks hummed, the tip of his feather blade tipping up your chin so you were forced to meet his gaze. You vaguely heard the pitter-patter of your tears hitting the carpet below. Blood rushed in your ears as you stared death in the face.

Hawks appraised you.

You watched the metaphorical cogs and wheels turning in Hawks’ skull as he looked you up and down before flashing forward, gathering you in his arms and flying from the apartment. 

Your first thought was obvious as you clung to him in the open air:

He’s going to drop you and kill you.

When you screamed, tears growing thicker, he slapped a gloved hand over your mouth, “I’m giving you an out, kid. Trust me. You’ll prefer this over death.”

 ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||

 Your new existence was certainly better than death.

If you were ever caught and convicted of any of the illegal things you participated in, you’d be fucked, thrown into prison until you rotted, until you were just dust and bone.

But, until then, you worked for the League.

You had groveled at the feet of their leader, Shigaraki, hands clasped on your lap, claiming your worth, or maybe lack thereof. Not many attachments, not many people who’d miss you, a semi-useful quirk. 

With a boot shoved into your skull, he sneered that you’d be the League’s new errand dog. 

The real reason they accepted you was due to the threatening air Hawks was exuding and the fact that their old ‘errand bitch’ had died the week prior. They needed a new body to act as a civilian and do things that only an unsuspecting-looking ‘civilian’ could. You fit the bill, and Hawks had taken a liking to you.

 Oddly, working for the League was actually pretty okay.

You got your own room. It was small, but you only had to share a bathroom with the somewhat unhinged Himiko, but she was fairly nice once she warmed up to you. Everyone lived in the League’s HQ and went about their business, getting drunk at their bar front each night.

Most of the mess happened at night, but it was important to put on a nice veneer and keep spirits high. Not to mention that no one would dared to fuck with the League, anyways. The cops and federal government had long been paid off due to the resources that the League had acquired for them. 

You felt somewhat untouchable.

A lot of this confidence was due to the fact that you had become Hawks’s... Keigo’s...

‘Songbird’

As he liked to call you, anyway. 

Keigo was the general, loveable annoyance of the League, but his connections were invaluable and his skills were unmatched. Despite how he could grate on people (read: Dabi and Shigaraki), he was respected and feared just as much as everyone else was, if not more so. And being his metaphorical and literal pet had its perks.

Sure, the first time he had you come to his ‘office’ and he fucked you against the window until it was smeared with cum and blood was a bit surprising, but god, if you didn’t fucking love it. Being Keigo’s personal fucktoy came with protection, pleasure, and a surprising amount of genuine attention. The dude was lonely, and so were you. The two of you made a good ‘couple’, if you could even call yourselves that. The sadism he doled out was always counterpointed by affections that did seem genuine. 

Keigo was fond of you, and you of him. Maybe your brush with death had twisted something in your head, to even allow yourself to get close to a man like Keigo, but you couldn’t make yourself care. 

You were comfortable and content. 

...

[bird boss]: hey babe ;^) get to my office in the next thirty minutes 

[you]: what if i don’t

[bird boss]: do u really want to find out

[you]: ...

[you]: im just curious 

[bird boss]: don’t get cheeky songbird 

[you]: u make me wanna u know

[you]: i know it gets you riled up

[bird boss]: tread lightly kid

[you]: oooo i gave you some guff over text

[you]: what’re you gonna do about it?

[bird boss]: use your imagination

[bird boss]: 25 minutes now, songbird

[bird boss]: don’t make this worse for yourself <3

 You set your phone on your cheap duvet, quickly primped yourself to see Keigo. He wasn’t too strict about your appearance but wearing dark clothes and some of the more expensive gifts he’d gotten you over the months he’d been screwing you never hurt. Something about ownership with him always got him hot and bothered. 

You tried to remind yourself frequently that Keigo saw you as some sort of possession, but a possession with feelings.

Meandering through HQ was always a bit daunting, despite your protections. Your skimpy outfit choice and hardly-hidden lingerie made you feel a bit more like an object than you liked too. 

There were hardly hungry mouths around the League, they kept you all fed, but god, were there starving eyes. 

Dabi wolf-whistled as you walked past him through a common room, shouting something about how Keigo was collecting his pound of flesh for the day. Maybe a line or two about being a whore, but that was all flavor at that point. Keigo called you far meaner, more sinful things. And hell, it wasn’t like Keigo hadn’t... shared you on more than one occasion. 

Maybe you were a little fucked up for enjoying your lifestyle to the degree you did, but why not indulge where you could? Life was far shittier scraping paint off old fences and picking up cans to just scrape by. 

Opulence was a breath of fresh air. And if you were Keigo’s fuck toy? Then, god, you were Keigo’s fuck toy.

When you arrived at Keigo’s office, you knocked gently on the door, quickly adjusting your skirt and blouse. 

The door opened, though no one was behind it. Only a single one of Keigo’s feathers allowed you entrance. 

His office seemed daunting and extravagant for a man who did most of his ‘work’ in far-shadier, far-bloodier places. The walls were covered in mirrors and old paintings, something out of vanity and pride, knowing how Keigo saw himself. There were several black leather couches scattered around against walls, some stained by your various... activities. There was a broad desk parallel to a back wall made entirely of windows. 

Night had fallen, leaving the room lit by a few lamps and warm fixtures. 

“Hey, boss,” You hummed as you stepped in, shutting the door behind you just before the lingering scarlet feather flicked the lock on the door.

And the other one.

And the deadbolt.

You swallowed thickly. 

As much as you enjoyed a lot of the perks of your... position, it was also daunting.

Keigo was daunting, all bloody colors, vanity, and hunger. 

He sat behind his desk, wings puffed up, and partially extended over the back of his chair. The desk chair was massive, specifically acquired so that you would have enough room to properly straddle his lap for hours on end if he so wished. 

Keigo idly clicked around on his desktop computer. He leaned slack and back into the chair, legs spread wide and exuding casual confidence that reeked of his own ego. 

Keigo normally wore a mix of black and red, as edgy as it was. He liked to seem clean, hide the stains of sanguine that undoubtedly lingered on him no matter how he tried to cleanse himself. His black slacks were pressed, the seams pristine. The black shirt he wore was rolled up to his elbows, the buttons of his red vest undone as well. His black tie hung half-undone and limp around his neck. His tousled gold hair was mussed as normal, ruffled by his flights. His feathers might’ve needed preening, but you doubted that that was the reason he called you to his office. 

And based on the deep set of his brow and the sickly smile on his lips, he was already on edge and in a mood. 

“Songbird, come over here, will you?” Keigo sat back from his typing, watching you from across the room. He took you in the same way a parched man sucks down red wine, greedily and soon to be fucked. “On my lap.”

You complied, despite your earlier attitude. You padded across the room, going around his desk. 

As you moved to straddle his lap, worn hands gripped your waist. His amber eyes gave you a warning, crinkling at the edges, “Not like that, sweetheart. Do daddy right.”

Oh, so it was one of those moods. 

Maybe you were Keigo’s sexual punching bag so he could exert control on something he could later kiss better and patch up. 

Sure, he was going to fucking ruin you, but part of the fun with him was that the more it hurt, the nicer he was after. And, all things considered, with some of the... other folks the League brought in to satiate its member’s desires, you fared far better. Keigo cared about you, in his own particular way. 

You tried to lean over his lap yourself, but his hands and feathers positioned you perfectly as he wanted. With the tight grip he had on your waist and shoulders, dragging you just as he liked, it was easy to see his need for control. 

Your head hung off of one of his thighs as you squirmed in his lap. His bulge already pressed into your ribs, a wonderful reminder of the reward you’d reap later on. Keigo’s hands gathered your hand to the small of your back, a feather replacing their grip a moment later.

“Sit with me while I finish this shit,” Keigo grumbled, going back to clicking the desktop. His leg bobbed absentmindedly, his free hand rubbing over the curve of your barely-covered ass. “Be a good girl, (Y/N). If you can stand that.”

He laughed under his breath. 

You let your head dangle limply downwards, blood rushing to your cheeks. 

You’d thought you’d be in for more of an ass-kicking, but it appeared Keigo was taking things unusually slow. You knew better than to complain, but kicking up a bit of metaphorical sand couldn’t be that bad, right?

“I dunno,” You hummed, kicking your legs lightly. “I don’t think you like it when I’m a ‘good girl’, daddy.”

“Watch it.” A single, sharp smack to your butt was hardly enough to shut you up, but Keigo did so all the same, rubbing over the covered flesh a moment later, “I’m not in the mood.”

“Are you sure about that?” You wriggled, intentionally pushing up against his growing erection.

His breath stuttered, a smirk pulling at the corners of your lips. The hand on your ass didn’t rear again, rather Keigo kept thumbing smooth circles as he continued to click around on the computer. He might have been actually doing work. Or, he was ignoring you, egging your sass on. 

“If you didn’t want anything, why’d you call me in here?” You asked, way too cheeky for the way Keigo’s body was practically vibrating underneath you. Pissing him off had consequences, of course, but you weren’t in the mood to play ‘good girl’ that day.

“I told you, I want you to sit with me,” Keigo pinched your ass. “But, you’re too mouthy to do just that one thing. You’re usually better than this.”

“Am I?” You played innocent, craning to give him a wide smile. “Hadn’t noticed. What I am noticing, is your already-hard cock, dear.”

“Oh, ‘dear’?!” Keigo paused on the computer. “Cheeky. Cute.” 

Keigo would just dig in more, lean in, before ‘snapping’, if you could call it that.

You gulped as his hand swatted at upper thighs, his nails almost knicking your skin.

“Up and don’t get smart about it.”

Oh, you were going to be remarkably smart about it.

You rose but hardly stayed upright for long. Sliding down to your knees, you pushed at Keigo’s legs, “Wouldn’t you prefer me down here? Just for a treat while you finish your work?”

Keigo clicked his tongue, gaze flickering down to you, “Fine. Behave yourself.”

Yeah, right. You both knew that that wasn’t going to happen. 

You were already tucked underneath his desk, undoing the fly of his pants. 

You pulled his cock from his trousers, pumping his cock to full hardness. Smearing around preek for a bit of extra flare before inching forward.

Wrapping your mouth around Keigo’s dick was somewhat of a feat— he had a decent girth to him, so you usually took the opportunity to warm him (and yourself) up with a bit of tip-kissing and kitten licks.

But, you were feeling bold.

You spit on his dick, a move that normally would have earned you plenty of verbal snark, but anything Keigo could’ve said to you was swallowed as you took his cock down to the back of your throat.

You sucked around it, massaging the vein on the bottom with the flat of your tongue. Drool began to pool at the side of your lips as you let the head bump your throat, gag reflex be damned.

All the while, Keigo had stopped moving above you. The fabric of his trouser balled up in his ringed-fingers as he gazed half-lidded down at you. 

You smiled around his dick, looking up at him innocently as you began to slowly bob your head. His wings fluttered, twitches and air stirring around you. 

Keigo stifled a laugh, a hand tangling in your hair, “All that talk earlier and now you’re treating me to a blowjob without even me having to tell you to? Dove, you’re too much.”

You pulled off of him to reply, “I can only try.”

Before he could reply, you spit on his dick again, and went back to slurping around him.

You held the base of his cock in your hands, twisting and spreading spittle. It almost felt like your actions were for show, but Keigo’s eyes were rolling back in his head all the same.

You smirked.

A drool pool from your mouth, puddling in your lap and soaking your skirt. Not like you weren’t already dripping from the sinful sounds Keigo stopped trying to hold.

“A-ah, that’s it, angel,” Keigo fucked into your mouth with his hold on your hair. “Just like that.”

Your hand rose to play with Keigo’s balls, teasing at the sack as he cried out a high moan above you. 

Considering the performance you were giving, it was unsurprising to feel him tensing above you. You’d been on your knees for him hundreds of times; you’d learned to see the little twitches and puffs of breath he’d give when he’d get close to coming. 

You pulled off his cock with a pop, detangling the hand from your hair in the motion. It was all fast enough that Keigo couldn’t have stopped you in his hazy, pleasure-filled state. 

Based on the look of rapid disbelief he was giving you, your trick had worked well. Knowing Keigo’s... tendencies made you hesitant to push him too much in the past, but for whatever reason, you were feeling stupidly bold. 

Consequences.

“Sorry, daddy,” You wiped at your mouth with the back of your hand. “Didn’t feel like swallowing today.”

Keigo’s disheveled appearance was more than gratifying. Knowing how easily you made him come undone by that point was one of the perks of your position.

His hair was more than ruffled, strands and tufts chaotically curled around his cheeks and ears. There was a bright blush on his face, spreading from his nose to the apples of his cheeks, down his deck. At some point, he’d popped the buttons at the top of his shirt. He was covered in a sheen of sweat, half-panting and based on the darkness in his brow and the far-too peachy smile on his face, Keigo was fucking pissed.

His wings stood on end.

You gulped from below him.

Maybe you pushed your luck too far.

Maybe. 

“You’re playing real cute today, aren’t you songbird?” Keigo didn’t move, but his feathers twitched above him, wings flaring out even farther. “Real fucking cute.”

You were fucked.

Good.

A few feathers flew from Keigo, one snagging at your wrist, wrapping around it, and pulling you up from the desk.

You wobbled as you stood, dragged across the room as Keigo leisurely followed behind you. When you tried to set your own pace, Keigo swatted your ass with a huff, “You never learn, huh? I thought I’d trained you better than this.”

You opened your mouth to spit some dickish retort, but you were cut off as Keigo’s shoved you onto one of the leather couches.

“Don’t.” Keigo’s tone was acidic as he stood over your, wings still flared out. “I told you I wasn’t in the mood for your cute bullshit, dove, and you still decided to test your luck, huh?”

You kneeled on the cushions, sucking down air, shaking with anticipation.

“You don’t feel like swallowing today? That’s fine, I can work with that,” Keigo shrugged easily from above you.

Keigo had an... active sexual imagination, and you could tell by the crook in his lips that he had something devilish planned as retribution.

A sharp slap came down on your cheek, Keigo catching the opposite jaw and keeping you from recoiling too far. You blinked as the pain spread around your skull like licking flames against a frostbitten body. 

You wanted more.

A little grin stretched against your mouth as Keigo rubbed at your cheeks with his thumbs, “Aw, you always get so sweet like this, dove. You can be a good girl if you try, can’t you?” 

His actions carried candor and his words absolute torment. 

Despite how Keigo was trying to goad you into submission, you had a bit of spark left in you. 

Plainly, you spit on him.

The glob of saliva landed on Keigo’s cheek, under his eye.

He blinked at you. 

You continued to smile.

His own expression grew strained.

“Oh, songbird,” Keigo damn near lamented, wiping away the kind gift you’d given him. His voice was smooth without any bit of waver, all of the sexually-charged anger rolling just beneath the veneer. “You’re just being pain slut today, aren’t you?”

You were, absolutely. You could feel your arousal wetting your panties, the heat of the strike from your cheek beginning to boil something in your gut. 

“You just need a bit of special attention today, right? That’s all.” Keigo tsked, fully removing the tie from around his neck. “You just need a little reminder.”

“Reminder of what?” You asked, tilting your head quizzically. 

Keigo flipped you, feathers pushing and bracing you as needed while nimble hands tore off your clothes without reverie.

“Plenty of things, especially with this attitude you’ve got today,” Keigo’s tie looped around your wrists, binding them together at the center of your back. 

“You definitely need a reminder of who’s the boss around here,” Keigo shoved you forward, stomach flush with the back of the couch.

You reeled from the pace of it all, shifting your knees for any bit of stimulation you could get. Keigo’s feathers were slicing and pulling your clothes from your body faster than you could keep track of. It was overwhelming, making your mind swim in the best possible way. You throbbed. 

“Maybe a reminder about who fucking provides for you,” Keigo’s own clothes were shaken off, dropped to the floor and forgotten.

It was true. Keigo always made sure than you were taken care of, in more ways than one. Despite how fast-paced and laid back he could seem, he was always on top of making sure you had more than enough material and immaterial pleasure whether than be in the form of food, fucking, or otherwise.

You yelped as a smack fell across your ass. A feather caught the elastic of your panties, snapping a moment later, leaving you fully bare before him. 

Keigo’s worn hand came to press at your throat and jaw, tilting your head back as he climbed behind you, “Maybe, you need a reminder about who keeps you safe.”

This phrase was softer than the others, a sweet kiss pressing to your cheek and his voice a bit more gentle. It was jarring at the skin still stung from his earlier strike, but you cherished the heat besides. 

Once again, true. The folks in and outside of the League were greedy. There were plenty of unwanted souls that stole glances at Hawks’s prized songbird. There were starved eyes that tore into you whether you were dolled up for Keigo or not. There had been some... close calls, one could say, but Keigo always was there, in the end, unafraid to get his hands dirty. 

“You know what the most important reminder is, dove?” Keigo rolled his hips against you, cock wedging between your thighs.

“N-no,” You stuttered, brain turning gooey as Keigo’s arms snaked around your waist, sharpened nails leaving indents in your hips.

He nosed at your neck, leaving a few love bites in his wake.“‘N-no’, what?” 

“I don’t know,” You leaned back into Keigo’s chest, rubbing your thighs around his cock. 

 “Oh, songbird, you sweet thing,” He chuckled, all teasing and self-indulgent. “I’m the one who makes you feel good.” 

He was so right, wasn’t he?

With the way he’d learned your body over the last few months, he’d had some undeniable pursuit to make you feel the best. 

Keigo was inquisitive by nature. He had kept you on your back for hours while he finger-fucked you, watching every twitch and roll of your hips to figure out just the right ways to break you. He’d kissed and sucked and slapped every inch of you, sussing out the perfect ways to make you writhe and cry for him. 

Sure, you were an absolute terror to him sometimes. Not to mention that Keigo jumping you covered in the blood of that day's targets was as macabre and horrifying as it sounded. 

But, fuck, if he didn’t know how to bring you to ecstasy that fucking ruined you in the best way. 

Keigo got off on watching you shatter for him. It was the reason he’d torn you from that cheap, bloodied apartment in the first place. A kind, naive little morsel that he could play with as he wanted. You didn’t complain. Fuck, you reveled in his attention. You gave it back to him, like the fucked up, semi-divine being could be any more debauched than he already was.

Corruption spreads, but you’d never complain. If being plucked from struggling for pennies to being fucked stupid by a man who could kill you at a moments notice, a man who would kill for you, somehow poisoned you?

You’d die with a bitter taste on your tongue and a smile on your face.

 Keigo rubbed at your clit, nipping at your neck, and rolled his hips greedily. His cock was covered in a mix of your slick and his own preek, easily sliding between plushness of your thighs.

“You love pushing me, acting all tough,” Keigo chastised, clicking his tongue. “I mean it when I say it's cute.”

You don’t have any more quick retorts in you, not when his fingers are down your throat, gagging you as spittle dribbles down your chin onto the leather below. It was sure to leave a mark.

“Behind all that bark and snark, you’re just a good girl, aren’t you?” Keigo punctuated his words with a bite and nip to your neck. “Just needed a reminder, right, dove?”

You whimpered against his fingers at the praise, grinding against Keigo’s touch needily. 

His fingers pushed pinched your tongue, breath curling over the shell of your ear, “What are you?”

You mumbled against his fingers, “A g-good g-girl.”

It was humiliating in the best way. Keigo’s light laugh at your attempt. The way he nuzzled his nose into the sweat at the crook of your shoulder was just aloe on the burn.

“I misspoke, if you can believe that,” Keigo’s cock pulled out from your thighs. “Songbird, you know what I meant to call you?”

You squirmed at the loss, but he was quick to hush you. His fingers left your mouth with a thick trail of spit. 

“You’re my good girl.” 

You melted in his arms.

Falling back against Keigo’s chest, you craned your neck to lock your lips to his. 

Maybe that was it, why all the filth didn’t bother you. Because you had worth. Maybe it was insecurity, or maybe it was self-aware in the face of your lived experience. Before being taken, the life you’d lived made you just a rusty cog in a dying machine. You wouldn’t have amounted to anything, probably. 

But with the League?

You were the prized, beloved consort of an angry god. 

Keigo owned you, body, mind and soul, and you let him. That’s not even to mention how you had him wrapped around your finger. He adored you, under all of it.

Fighting with him was for sport, not blood.

Keigo licked past your lips, pressing his cock to your cunt teasingly. You whined against him, wriggling in his arms.

“What does my good girl want?” Keigo loved making you beg for him, claw for any bit of stimulation. He liked it even better when you were already soft for him.

Stray tears pricked at your eyes, “Y-your cock.”

He pinched the meat of your thigh, shaking his head, “Not good enough. Speak properly, dove. Clear and correctly.”

You swallowed, searching for the words in your own haze.

Your words were willed to be solid.

“I want your cock, daddy.” 

It was just enough.

Keigo pushed forward, the head of his cock already stretching your cunt. Consider the girth of it, the lack of preparation stung and burned more than you would’ve liked, as good as it felt to finally be filled.

Keigo cooed at your soft tears, keeping your face to his with a firm hand on your jaw. He shushed you, far too sweetly while licking the salt from your cheeks, “Relax, angel. Big breaths.”

You nodded, sputtering as he speared into you. Keigo’s free hand went back to toying with your clit, encouraging the tension to drain from your body.

As he bottomed out, you shuddered, falling back into his chest. Keigo’s wings fluttered, twitching in wait. Hot breath fanned over your face, Keigo groaning and locking his jaw. 

The stimulation was overwhelming. You had expected Keigo to be meaner, considering how mouthy you’d been. 

Yet, it made sense. Keigo had figured out one of the better ways to make you break was softness. 

(Truthfully, it made him crack in the same way, but he’d never tell.)

“Feel that?” He asked, just barely rolling his hips. 

Keigo released your jaw in favor of wrapping a hand around the front of your throat, tugging you as close he could manage.

“Uh-huh,” You panted. 

You could, the kiss of his cock head against your cervix was almost uncomfortable. The delicious pressure and sensitivity already had you reeling in his arms, unsteady and wanting.

“I fill you up so good, don’t I?” Keigo praised his own ego, his cock, but he wasn’t wrong. The curve of his cock rubbed against all the right spots. He stretched you just right, the burn ebbing away into a need for more, more—

“Please, Keigo—” You gasped. Your legs shook as Keigo slammed into you, shoving you forward and into the wall.

His pace was brutal. Hands and feathers kept your back in a harsh arch as he rearranged your insides to his liking. He was kind enough to keep stroking at your clit, bruising your hips and babbling filthy nothings. 

“I’m the one who makes you feel this good, only me, right, dove?” Keigo growled into your ear with a particularly hard thrust.

You nodded against the wall, aware of the drool slipping down your chin as your mouth lolled open. Your insides were hot like white flames, searing any ability to use coherent speech. 

Keigo snickered at your state. Slowing, he gripped your ass cheeks. You yelped, inside jumping as he pried them apart. You flinched, hole twitching as he spat down, the liquid cool against the flushed skin.

It was little moves like that, Keigo just subtly making your shudder and feel dirty that got you the most fucked up and fucked out.

You pressed back on his cock, panting against the wall and keening. You would’ve spoke, if you could, but anything that you had the ability to say would’ve been torn apart by Keigo’s sharpened, silver tongue. 

“My filthy little dove, huh?” Keigo sneered, watching you try to bounce on his cock the best you could. “Such a glutton when you get broken down like this, needy whore.”

The pleasure of Keigo’s cock tearing up your insides was all you could focus on through the fog of your mind, desperate and wanting and greedy.

“Y-your,” You corrected, the words bubbling from your lips, disjointed and messy. “Yours.”

Keigo may have been avian, but he purred like a damn cat at your admission. He held you like a possession, cock throbbing as he fucked you just right. 

“God, you’re sweet, angel,” He nipped at your jaw before wrapping his hand around your throat. “Even all fucked up, you know who you belong to so well, don’t you?”

You nodded, rolling your hips back. 

Keigo must’ve taken pity on you, squeezing at the sides of your neck. Cruel as he could be, he must’ve noticed the way your thighs and knees trembled against the leather. Keigo knew the cloud in your eyes well— how to get you hazy and how to fuck you perfectly through the fog.

He fucked back into your dripping cunt, pace harder and faster than before. You were helpless to do anything other than fall forward into the wall, cheek squished against the scarlet. 

“Who’s brat are you?” Keigo squeezed a bit harder at your neck as you swallowed against his palm.

“Y-yours—!” You squeaked out, mind going numb from the stimulation and pressure.

A wicked sneer curled against your ear as Keigo’s movements grew sloppier. His tongue lolled over your shoulder, messy kisses and slobbery bites and marks left in his wake. He was close, but you weren’t far off easier.

“Little bird,” It was sweeter, closer and hotter. “Can you come for me? Come all over my cock?”

You nodded.

“Not good enough.” Keigo bit down, nearly breaking the fragile skin of your neck. “You know I like words, angel.”

You gave him words, plenty of them. 

Nearly incoherent pleads and cries poured from your bruised lips as Keigo pounded into you. Each blabbering wail was met with Keigo groans and grunts, condescending little phrases spitting over you without release.

Your lack of leverage and use of your arms made you thumping against the couch and wall, vision darkening on the edges as the pressure in your gut and the hold on your throat remained. 

You were breaking in his arms, tears rolling down your cheeks as you held yourself from cresting. The exertion of it all was taking its toll, legs jellied and chest beading with sweat. 

Keigo sensed it, shifting his hips to hit the spongy spot in your cunt, “Come, dove.”

You let go.

A sob shattered in your throat as your climax crashed through you. Keigo released your throat, holding you by your bound arms as he bottomed out. His own harsh cry panged against yours as he stuffed you full. 

Surprisingly gently, he rocked his hips against your own, letting the ambient throb of your cunt milk him dry.

You came down, rolling and spinning as you sucked down air a bit too fast. Keigo panted behind you, though the sound seemed dull.

The pressure from your wrists released, soft thumbs rubbing at where the fabric had bitten into your forearms, “Hey, angel, you with me?”

You could only nod weakly, exhaustion and aches creeping in. 

Keigo repositioned the two of you, setting himself against the arm of the couch, wings up free to drape and splay over the floor. He dragged you with him, pulling you to lay on his chest. The stickiness of his spunk, your slick, and general sweatiness might’ve been uncomfortable, but you weren’t quite lucid enough to care.

“How are you feeling? Still feeling a little mouthy?” Keigo teased, already knowing your answer. 

You muffled a groan against his chest, shaking your head against the sweat of his chest. 

“Awww,” Keigo chuckled, fingers brushing over your cheeks, “Is my dove a little fucked out?”

“Keeeigo, b-be nice.”

Your voice broke, parched.

Keigo snorted, pressing a kiss to the side of your forehead, “I guess I can manage that. Just for you, though. Can’t let the others see me get all soft.”

You wouldn’t; seeing Keigo warm and gooey, both of you mutually fucked-out, was a pleasure only you got to indulge in. And you loved every moment of it. 

++++++++++++

taglist: @sinclairsamess (msg me if you’d like to be on it!)

ko-fi

[violettelueur]

FUSHIGURO MEGUMI || WITH YOU

| featuring : fushiguro megumi from jujutsu kaisen

| warnings : grammar errors, but other than that n/a

| form : imagine

| word count : 1773

| published : 05 december

| request : Can i have a regular black coffee with Megumi finding y/n crying on the bathroom floor bc she has been experiencing a burn out?🥺✨Your jujutsu kaisen writings is what keeps me sane at the moment💞😭✨

| barista’s notes : hey hey hey~ guess who is back? it’s me barista violettelueur ʕ •ᴥ•ʔゝ☆ and when i was typing this out, i was listening to ‘Lost in Paradise’ by ALI and AIKO, which all of you know, it’s jujutsu kaisen’s ending! i love it so so much  ʕ￫ᴥ￩　ʔ but lowkey, it doesn’t match the theme of this imagine here ʕ ㅇ ᴥ ㅇʔ other than that, thank you so much for loving my work and for the cup of classic black coffee order (jujutsu kaisen request!) and please come again soon!

Exhausted. Heavy. Drained. That was all you felt.

Once you were able to go through the door of your dorm room, all you wanted to do was to fall flat on to the wooden floor and lay there for who knows how long. 5 minutes? 30 minutes? An hour? Maybe even a whole day? You were just extremely exhausted. However, you knew that you had to train with your classmates for the Kyoto Sister School Goodwill Event the next day, so sleeping on the cold floor was no the best option.

Slowly struggling to make your way to your bathroom, you quickly gripped onto the side of the sink so you didn’t lose your balance due to your fatigue from today’s mission that you had to go on alone. From what you could even recall for the few past weeks, you were constantly being set on different missions at random times due to the lack of sorcerers there were in the school nowadays. From your knowledge, the third years were suspended for the time being, Gojo was constantly being set out for domestic travels as well as some business behind the scenes that you weren’t informed about, Nanami reported to you that he was investigating a crime that had occurred at Kinema Cinema and the first years (your year) and the second years were training for the event, leaving you the only Grade 1 sorcerer within Tokyo Metropolitan Curse Technical College to be set these missions that seemed to be endless at this point.

Since the beginning, you knew that this was going to be your life once you step foot into the Jujutsu Sorcerer school, but you weren’t aware of the constant hardships that were randomly going to be set out to you. Ijichi even commented that this was unusual for a first-year student like you to be sent on numerous mission like the ones you’ve completed - some even being back to back on the same day - leading him to apologies every time you would enter his car to which you would always tell him that it was never his fault - how could it be? It wasn’t his fault that the higher-ups were demanding you to go off to do these missions. You felt exceedingly guilty for making him continuously drive you around to the locations and waiting for you to finish, not even knowing if you were going to come back alive or not.

However, you couldn’t be more grateful that he was in your company during this draining time. If it wasn’t for Ijichi in your presence, you knew you would have broken down earlier than you had now.

Turning on the faucet, you immediately heard a stream of water gushing from the spout before it was slowly filling up the bowl with the clear liquid. All you wanted to do was to plant your face in and scream out all the intense pressure that has been placed upon your shoulders. Yet you knew, it wasn’t that easy. It never was. 

Before you would even realise what was happening, the hand that was gripping onto the sink suddenly slipped causing the remaining strength that you had in you to disappear as your body immediately fell onto the white tiled floor. 

You were at your breaking point.  

You felt tears begin to uncontrollably stream down your face causing you to grip the top of your head before lacing your fingers tightly onto your hair - so tightly that you could pull out a few strands from your clasp - trying to release at least some of the pressure that was running through your veins.

 Suddenly, you heard a knocking sound from the distance, for a second, distracting you from the state that you were in now. However, you didn’t answer. You didn’t have the strength to. You didn’t have the effort to tell the person to go away nor open your mouth to make a sound. The knocking still continued even with your lack of response, but still, there was no response with you.

“Y/N? Are you there?”

Megumi. Megumi was at the door. Yet you still didn’t have the effort to answer your boyfriend. You were just at the point where you were just burnt out - the higher-ups have really burned you to the point of mental and physical exhaustion.

“Y/N, your door is unlocked, I’m coming in,”

‘No...please don’t’

However, there was no use. You had already heard the click on your handle being pushed down before your door swung open, followed by the tapping of footsteps being heard as Fushiguro began to walk into your room, trying to locate where you were.

“Y/N, where are you?” Fushiguro asked in a worried tone since he was informed by Iijchi that you had returned and that you had most likely stationed yourself in your dorm room after being treated by Ieiri, due to the number of missions that you had completed today. Due to him not being able to see you for even a few weeks without you heading off somewhere, Fushiguro wanted to check up on you to make sure that you were okay and had the idea you had probably fallen asleep. Yet your figure was not on your bed, it was still neatly made from this morning and there was no sign that you had even sat on it. 

Shutting his mouth, Fushiguro began to carefully listen to his surroundings trying to see if he could hear you or anything out of the ordinary in his search for you, only for him to suddenly detect the sound of water being poured or spilt causing him to turn towards the bathroom, only to discover the door opened with the faucet tap running rapidly as water began to overflow onto the ground, leading him to rush into the bathroom to turn it off.

Letting out a sigh of relief once the water stopped, he immediately turned around to find you on the ground, hands in your hair as tears flowed down your face. You looked terrible to put it into lighter terms. You looked like you’ve been through the worst wreckage. You looked like you had lost the will to even move. 

Quickly crouching down to your level - ignoring the water on the ground, Fushiguro managed to carefully lift your body up before placing you on his lap trying to comfort you in any way possible, as he then took a hold of your hands - causing you to relax your grip - to gently remove them from your hair making you weren’t in any pain from the tight grasp you had. Pulling you closer into his embrace, Fushiguro began to slowly run his hand up and down your arm to try to calm you down from your tearful fit before using his other to push away any straying strands of hair that were in your face, so he would wipe away any of the tears that were still present on your eyes or cheeks.

“Shhh, I got you, You’re okay, I’m right here with you,” Fushiguro tenderly muttered to you before placing your head on the crook of his neck as he then began to run his fingers through the strands of your messy hair, carefully brushing out any knots that were created. Fushiguro didn’t even have to ask what was wrong. He already had a slight idea of what was going for the past few weeks.

Due to the lack of sorcerers being available within the school and the stack of higher class missions being piled up, you were the only sorcerer qualified to even go on these missions leaving you to undertake these task alone - much to his dismay, but he had no obligation to go due to his grade as a sorcerer himself. He knew you were strong based on being a sorcerer as well as your emotional and mental state, but everyone has their limits, no matter how long or short one person can hold on to their sanity. Everyone has their limits - he was surprised that you were able to hold on for this long, to be honest, he didn’t think he himself could have lasted as long as you did.

Every day when he had a minimal chance of seeing you, Fushiguro slowly began to notice that you were gradually breaking down, you were becoming more worn out, you were becoming less motivation, you lacked in performance when you were able to train with everyone, and you were slowly detaching yourself from everyone - you were somewhat becoming like him in some way. Fushiguro tired to lighten up your mood by inviting you over to his dorm to watch a movie or to simply cuddle with him, and he knew that you were exceptionally grateful for everything that he was doing, you showed it with the most beautiful smiles and light laughs that you could give him. He just felt so useless.

Snapping out of his thoughts, he suddenly felt a pair of arms being wrapped around his neck, causing him to realise that you seemed to snap out of your own daze. “Thank you so much, Megumi….I’m so happy that I’m with you,” you whispered to him before you tightened your hold on his neck - but not to the point where it was suffocating - before you continued with the three words that always made his heart stop before it would go into a rage as if he had just ran a marathon, “I love you,”.

Even in your current state, you still managed to somehow make Fushiguro feel like he was helping you - to which he completely was, he just didn’t know  - leading him to engulf you in his arms before placing a light kiss on your temple to help you relax your body and calm you down even more.

“I got you, I’m right here with you Y/N,” Fushiguro replied back to you before tightening his hold on you as if he was the one that needed comforting, “I love you too,”.

Being with Fushiguro was something you knew to never take from granted, he was like the moonlight that comforted you when you felt so alone in the night. Fushiguro wasn’t someone to express his affection so openly, but for him to try to help you in every way possible - even if he was somewhat out of his character - was something you could never take for granted from the little kisses to the little dorm invites - yeah you really were lucky. Fushiguro Megumi was really the perfect boyfriend

“With you, I know I’m going to be okay Megumi”

[soracities]

Wow, I've read your recent asks and it's so refreshing to know that other people feel the same as me. I'm in college but I feel left behind because I take very little classes due to my anxiety of not being capable of getting good grades (which ironically puts me in that position).

In my country, this year college is going to be presential and I feel very anxious again. I'm bad at socializing too and the only friend I have is my boyfriend, which will be very occupied this semester while working and studying. So my experience there isn't that great, even if I enjoy some classes, others are distressing and make me feel useless. I feel like I don't fit there and I'm a weak person to not be able to catch up with my peers.

During the pandemic I had to cancel a semester due to panic attacks, at the beginning I didn't understand why I had them but soon I realized that I worry so much that sometimes I'm not able to do anything even simple tasks. There's always this fear of doing it wrong, being stupid and not filling other's expectations. I'm questioning if I'll ever make it to graduation, I'm not sure if it's a good idea to dropout but I'm not better staying either.

My boyfriend confronted me yesterday about all the things I say about college and if it doesn't make me happy, I should leave. But I haven't find a place where I feel comfortable and happy. I know I like studying, but there's few occasions where I love what I do and I wonder if everyone else there loves what they do and why. I mostly feel that others pressure that "I love this" kind of mindset but I don't know if I'm being too pessimistic, I think it might be performative altruism (I'm studying to be a teacher, sometimes I think people use helping others to seem more virtuous or something).

Hopefully I'll realize what to do with my life but for now I feel confused and worried. There's a lot of things I don't like about being there but I'm not brave enough to tell anyone, specially my parents (my family is very judgemental too). Buut, I'm not sure if that's the problem and instead it's my fears aaaaaaaaahhhhhh ;-;

I'm sorry that you're trying to cope through so much and I can only imagine what a stressful ordeal this all must be for you. I know it may be daunting to think about, and maybe admitting it out loud to someone other than your boyfriend might make it all feel frighteningly real and overwhelming, but I really, really, really think that you need to address these issues with someone qualified enough to help guide you through them; I don't know what services or supports are in place at your university, but if you have access to a mental health professional of some sort (or even if there is just a professor you like and trust) then I would urge you to make an appointment and tell them how you've been struggling. The structure of academia is already stressful enough and you do not deserve to go through so much stress and anxiety, especially not if there are options available to help make it all a little less miserable for you.

It could simply be that the university environment may not suit you right now, but I also think it seems as though there may be quite a bit under the surface here that you need to address and work through -- you could try and continue through this until you graduate, but then what? If it’s the case that university is only exacerbating a latent issue for you (such as insecurities or worries about doing well, about being good enough, about not disappointing your family or others, or perhaps something else), then those issues will not necessarily go away once you leave; even if you find yourself somewhere that suits you more, there is no way to avoid stress or potential triggers because you will encounter them in some form and other, and there is no guarantee that the insecurities you have now will simply go away because the environment is different -- they may resurface in other settings, perhaps in a different form, and then you will have to go through the ordeal again but without the tools to properly allow you to navigate and understand it and move in a healthier direction for yourself.

Much as we do always emphasize it, I think it’s worth noting that even when you are in a place that feels right for you, it is not necessarily a cure-all; to find yourself loving what you’re doing, or at the very least, loving what you are working towards, is going to be extremely difficult when you are in a situation, mentally and emotionally, where your brain is already exhausted because all of its resources are so focused on surviving or coping with the situation at hand. It doesn’t make you weak, or lesser than, and it doesn’t mean you are missing something everyone else around you may seem to have: it makes you very, very human. I think that sometimes, no matter how much you may love something, if you are in a place where your mental health is not at its best, then you are working at the edge of your limits in terms of endurance, will, and happiness, and loving what you are working towards, or loving where you are, is not always enough to see you through it. And that is more than normal. I’m not trying to frighten you or make you think that what you are feeling will never go away because it will -- but you need, as much as you can, and in whatever way you can, to get the necessary help to allow you to make that a reality for yourself. Maybe you need a little extra support and understanding from your professors once they are aware of your situation; maybe you need some time away entirely to simply allow yourself to get your bearings (and I know this may seem like a horrifying suggestion, especially if you are worried about your family and how they will respond to this; I don’t know what the dynamics of your relationship are in this and so I don’t want to speak out of place or make assumptions, but I do want to stress that you are allowed to prioritise your needs in this, especially when your own happiness is at stake). I don’t know what will turn out to be the best step forward for you in this, but what I can say is that for as long as you are shouldering this on your own, it will run the risk of snowballing and leaving you even more anxious about your situation which in turn will only continue to feed into itself. You don’t deserve to go through all of that. The sooner you are able to address all of these struggles and concerns with someone qualified enough, the sooner you will be able to gain some actual clarity for yourself on where, and how, you want to move forward, if only because you are no longer expending all of your energy on trying to cope with each new wave of anxiety on your own and now finally have some headspace to be able to think about other things in a more concrete way and envision them for your future, whatever it may look like for you.

Again, I really am sorry that you are going through so much, but please do reach out to whatever supports are available to you and see where you can go from there. Sending you so much love and the warmest hugs through this, truly ❣️